#i sound literally insane rn i need to touch some grass

[angeldiaries777]

I think all these attempts I’ve had at healing forever have just not worked because I was so addicted to pain. Again my life hasn’t been very “difficult” from an outsiders perspective. However my brain ruins everything and ugh. Being online is also making my anxiety worse. My real life is pretty chill rn and fortunate however dealing with my toxic family, mental illness and other life issues is just not a fun thing. Yeah I’m very very sick and bored of being online. even if my socials are all pretty chill im just burnt out from being on the internet since I was like 4. I just in the nicest way to myself need to go touch some grass and chill for a while. However everyone knows this the fact that I leave my room like once every 5 months to go outside and while that sounds insane to normal people like yeah that’s my anxiety brain. When I say I don’t leave my room or house I’m dead serious. Like I literally didn’t get sunlight in 8 months once at a time and I was so so sick. Mmm. Yeah I just need a break from devices and distractions anyway. I use tumblr, tv and music like a crutch and it’s just harming me because whenever I’m not on my phone I get more depressed and sad. Like when I’m not on my phone or laptop I feel like the world is going to end. It’s just such an icky horrifying sad feeling like it feels like the end of the world. how many times have i said that i need a break an not taken one? many. i know i have to get the root cause and get treated for my mental illnesses to not revert back to old habits but omg its such a battle. not fun. i have infinite empathy for addicts. if im offline that's a good thing usually. or my phone was taken away at the age of 16. embarrassing. :( i just have been sooo desperate in real life lately. yeah im gonna try to get myself in check otherwise i will be like this i till die. goodnight merry christams??? i dont fuckin know :')

[woozi]

Favorite svteenie friendship dynamics? (It’s ok, you can give multiple <3 we all know you <3 NXKSKKS)

READ ME ON MY OWN BLOG?????????????? as an ANON NO LESS??????????????? 😭 JKDFJDSJDS that jihoon was my literal reaction irl lmAOOO

also worm i looOVE THIS QUESTION <3 i have many answers (you're right and ily 😋)

not in order of preference (i think by now we’ve all established that i have a hard time picking favorites fjdjksjk)

soonhoon - a v popular one for good reason tbh. i was actually talking abt this with belle just the other day 😭 ANYWAY!! yk how they were both perceived as intjs the last gose 👁️ i think people undermine how similar they are tbh just bc they have very different ways of presenting themselves. i'm saying this goal, mentality, and drive-wise (all this from what we can see btw i’m not saying this is how they really are we do not know these men fsjdjkdsjdks), but again they express themselves v differently. that being said their personalities are also v compatible imo, jihoon's the type to not show how he feels that much even when he longs for something and bc of that people like hoshi complement him so well. hoshi's the type to Show it and reach out to people contrasting the way jihoon tends to withdraw. even in general, jihoon’s not the type to purposefully put himself out there unlike hoshi, but he seems to definitely love the attention lmao (which a persistent friend like hosh can give willingly and enthusiastically at that). their skills are also are a perfect fit for each other 👁️ but yeah tl;dr, i think the best way to put everything abt soonhoon is where one lacks, one compensates but they have the same way of thinking so they get along well. they benefit from each other and make e/o better

soonchan - i’m so devastated by this btw </3 they just seem to like each other sm </3 and are very affectionate towards each other </3

jihan - for comedic purposes /hj (they also just match e/o’s vibe v well tbh, unlike soonhoon this is a like calls to like situation) + they seem like a pair of friends who just really connect and understand each other well while maintaining a balance imo (like, no one’s more reliant on the other)

jun x boo/ww x dino - the fan and the idol <3 i love how boo/ww adores and always cheers on jun/dino

jeonghan x woozi - jeonghan’s not the type of person to be pushy (he literally just goes w the flow and takes whatever’s coming) and bc of that, as i see it, he’s able to respect boundaries v well which may be one of the reasons why woozi’s so comfortable with him? dynamic-wise, unlike hoshi who will literally ADOPT u no escape friendship wise, jeonghan’s the one who will let you ease in and just Waits for what you want/need. as jihoon’s not the type to open up easily, i feel like this Jeonghan Trait allowed them to build a more solid foundation. ion see jihoon being very physically affectionate with anyone, but a lot of the times when he actually is you will see it’s with jeonghan and that’s prob one of the reasons why. i also just find it v fascinating how attitudes from opposite ends of the spectrum produced these kinds of friendships <3

jeonghan x dk - just some silly men having fun <3 jeonghan needs a kind friend while dk needs someone who would embolden him tbh

shua x dino - NO BC WHY DOESN’T ANYONE TALK ABT THIS???????????????????????????????? i think they are a LOT closer than people think they are. also just feels like they get each other </3 receive each other’s jokes v well, and just overall seems like they support each other a lot/KNOW each other very well

junhao - feel like hao has been jun’s solace since he came to korea tbh. jun on the other hand was there to guide him. they just have a lot to share w/ e/o, someone who understands (also not really abt friendship but since we’re talking abt junhao now... i really admire them both sm </3 i’m in awe that the svteenies have ALL renewed, but junhao most esp. not bc i wasn’t expecting them to re-sign, but because they re-signed knowing full well that they’re giving up/have alr given up SOOO much of their old lives that they’ve established in cn + more in of their time with their families. i love them sm they have a special place in my heart </3)

woozi x vernon - OH MY GOD 😭😭😭😭😭 if jihoon’s ever been a hyung and if vernon’s ever been a younger sibling it’s HERE that you would most def see it. ion think i’ve seen woozi take care of another younger member like the way he does vernon </3 and idk </3 i dont think i’ve ever seen vernon as cutesy to everyone else as he is w/ woozi

dk x hao/dk x boo/dk x hosh - just a couple of besties pt. 2 <3 (with slightly threatening undertones in dk x boo). i like seokhao bc they’re Friends friends, dk x hosh because they’re Besties but u can still see dk looking up to hosh, and seungboo (i literally do not know the names of svt pairings im sorry lmao) bc they just seem to have fun tgt <3

mg x dk/cheolgyu - frenemies <3 but not to the point where it’s worrying like boochan lmao

meanie - i just find them so fascinating honestly. how’d this even happen

verkwan - just want someone to be obsessed w me like boo is towards vernon tbh FJSKJFDJS (vernon also cherishes seungkwan but in a diff way i cant explain it tbh... its just Vibes)

birdie - i feel like vernon’s the closest thing chan has to a friend in svt? unlike boo who tends to act and prefers to be treated as someone older (based off of what we’ve heard from em lmao), vernon’s a lot more laid back and it also translates to how he forms relationships with other people. but ofc, even so (with him not emphasizing that kind of hierarchy w dino), you can see him especially taking care of dino/treating dino like a younger brother at times </3 which is SOOOO CUTE and sumn we don’t see often bc dino’s the only one younger than him </3 but honestly while dino’s a lot more Free with vernon, you can still see that they’re all still hyungs to him esp bc of the culture so i get why he feels lonely at times!!

[maeum-your]

PINK HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR‼‼‼‼‼‼

im literally 👚💓💓💟💖💗💝💘💕🎀 rn PLEASEEEE,, she got a bit drunk and messed up everything AT ONCE 💀 at least now we can take off a few things from her bucket list:

— get drunk party loca lose everything and pole dance💃🎉🥳🎊✅

— randomly kiss mr. jayjay and proceed to make out like there ain't tmrw 🤩🤭😚💏✅

— pink hair for crazy days (some may say is mommy issues)🎀💘

tbh the person im least worried ab is yn at the moment, im worried what happened w sunghoon and that statement 🤨 twt lands def DON'T need to know ab ur bathroom issues bestie 🙏😻

at least jake is safe and sound since he's bitchless forever 🤭 it takes a furry to keep virginity the same LMFAOOOO

the big question of the chapter is: where's mister park ❔❔❔❔ watch national geographic look for insane teenage touching grass at the woods after the loml says she needs to feed her fish [he went there to find some fishes for her]

well i thought if we there had to be drama then let's better have a lot of it 🤩

she was so traumatized by the events that happened in the basement that she needed to get really drunk and then start pole dancing 😭

jay watching like: was it that bad 👀👄👀

sunghoon is a bit too open about what he shares on this app, bestie no one needed to see that 💀

don't do my boy jake like this 😭 and what about furry!y/n? if hee hadn't come down she might have lost her v-card too who knows 🥶

sobered up jay is currently questioning everything LMAO (and also something else happened but we'll get to that later 🤩)