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mindmeltonabun-blog · 9 months

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My Demon: Theories and Analysis for Eps 9-10

Happy New Year, Readers!

I hope 2024 brings great things for everyone. I delayed posting a T&A post for Eps 9-10 partly due to holiday busyness and partly because I'm tired of plagiarists taking my theories and ideas and reposting them as their own. For those who have been my followers for a while now, you know this has been a constant issue for me. I don't think it's hard to give someone credit for original ideas that they've come up with.

I thought I wouldn't encounter this same issue with the MD fandom, but I was wrong. I saw a Twitter user taking multiple theories of mine and reposting them as their own. I don't rule out the possibility that people can have the same thoughts, but when you're specifically mentioning things only I had talked about and no one else did, it makes you look guilty as hell.

Hours after I posted my T&A for Eps 1-6, they decided to take multiple theories of mine and post them to their account. One example is how they took my idea that the cross necklace either once belonged to Do Hee or was given to Gu Won by Do Hee. Another example is how they took my idea that the cross tattoo on her wrist symbolized she was the source of it all. There are many more examples, but I don't want to spend all my time listing them all out. It's the same old spill, though; they're doing it for clout. In the future, I won't be posting my theories or analysis for eps until a day or two before the newest episodes come out. This ensures the cheaters won't be able to use my theories for their own personal gains. But enough about this piece of trash.

I want to forewarn everyone this post is very long like 17 pages so definitely take a break from it whenever. If you have any questions about anything I've written so far for MD, please feel free to use the "Ask Me Anything" button and I'll try to answer your questions ASAP! There are probably grammatical mistakes...it's hard to edit 17 pgs worth of shit haha. Finally, if you choose to use my stuff, give me credit, that's all I ask.

Time to put on our thinking caps to analyze and theorize!

Section 1: General Thoughts

Eps 9-10 were top-notch! I admire the writer's ability to incorporate twists inspired by literature, movies, kdramas, fairytales, art, math, etc. One major theme appears to be the profound impact our choices can have, leading to unintended consequences not only for ourselves but also for others. The show also delves into the coexistence of seemingly opposing elements, such as angels and devils or odd and even numbers.

The clock in the intro, featuring angels and devils, draws inspiration from MC Escher's "Circle IV: Heaven and Hell." Escher, influenced by mathematics, created art that explored the interlocking nature of opposites, mirroring the eternal connection between Do Hee and Gu Won.

Now, let's discuss the intricate math woven into this show. The complexity of the numerical elements has forever changed my perception of numbers. For instance, I once saw "snake eyes" as 1+1=2, but after MD, I now see it as 11. Similarly, 10 used to be just 10, but after MD, I see 01 is its mirror image, and 1+0=1.

MD provides a fresh perspective on Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" and "Demons," exploring psychological complexities, moral and existential dilemmas, societal and political systems, faith, morality, isolation, alienation, guilt, internal struggles, and redemption. Much like these literary works, MD delves into the psychological toll of potential crimes and the impact of abuse on individuals. It's a concoction of various influences, reminiscent of Frankenstein, weaving elements from Romeo and Juliet, DAYS, TOTNT, Goblin, Lucifer, The Bodyguard, Greek Mythology, Christianity/Catholicism, Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast.

The overarching message from MD seems to be that everyone harbors inner demons, and it's how we confront and handle these demons that defines us. Our choices can lead to positive, creative outcomes or negative, destructive consequences, shaping not only our self-perception but also how others perceive us—angelic guardians or malevolent demons.

Section 2: Gu Won's Past

2.1 Gu Won's Name: A Divine Revelation

As I revisited my previous ideas and rewatched episodes, Jang Mi's line, "I'd say the heavens or his ancestors did," really got me thinking. Recall that in my last post I theorized Gu Won might be related to Madam Ju. Well, after I saw Jang Mi's comment, I felt like I might be onto something.

I repeatedly wrote "Ju Yi Sun…Ju Yi Sun" and thought about ways my theory could be wrong (like, what if he's a Park? Kim? Choi? Cho? Jin?). That's when it all started clicking. Gu Won's current name had ties to Catholicism/Christianity, so his past name must've been the same. Out of all the last names mentioned in this, only one was associated with religion--Ju. You see, there's a wordplay in Gu Won's past name, Ju Yi Sun. In Korean, "Ju" means "Lord," but it can also mean "wine" and "week" (hint hint… the show's got themes of Catholicism/Christianity and time, haha). The second syllable of his name, "Sun", sounds like "son". When you piece it all together, you'll realize Gu Won's past name means "Lord's son" aka Jesus. I've now realized the clues proving he is a "Ju" have been there since the very start, but I just didn't connect the dots until now haha. Additional clues are available on my Twitter for those interested!

I doubt we'll witness Gu Won pulling off miracles like walking on water, but he has showcased some Jesus-like feats. Remember Ep 1, where he performed the fish miracle for Park Bok Gyu? That's similar to what Jesus did (miracle #6, to be exact), haha. Then in Ep 3, he healed the sick, echoing another one of Jesus's miracles. And in Ep 10, Jesus—I mean Gu Won—brought Do Hee back from the dead, a blend of miracles #11, 15, and 33. Who knows, maybe we'll get to see another Jesus-like miracle before this show wraps up? Perhaps calming a storm at sea or casting demons into a herd of pigs, haha.

Throughout the series, Gu Won has been frequently seen with wine, a symbol often linked to Jesus and representative of his blood. In Ep 9, Gu Won tells God he prefers wine because it's the tears of God. Interestingly, in the original myth, these tears were attributed to Jesus, not God. Jesus shed tears when witnessing Lucifer Morningstar's fall from Heaven. The writer's choice to attribute the tears to God may hint at their intention to portray Gu Won as a blend of Jesus and Lucifer Morningstar. It makes you wonder though if God shed tears after Gu Won died the first time around or when he started going "bad", doesn't it? Haha.

For those unfamiliar, Lucifer Morningstar earned the moniker of the Devil following his rebellion against God, leading to his descent from heaven into Hell. Before this rebellion, his name carried positive connotations such as light bringer, dawn bringer, and the morning star, associated with the planet Venus and the Goddess of Love. Examining Won's former name, Yi Sun, the word "Sun" stands out. Given the sun is a type of star, this connection holds significant meaning. Coupled with the dawn imagery in Ep 1 and Ep 10, the connection to Lucifer Morningstar becomes apparent. Gu Won's story started with him playing the roles of Jesus and Lucifer Morningstar. After his fall from Heaven, he transformed into the Devil. As Gu Won reunites with Do Hee, his journey comes full circle, bringing him back to his original identity as Yi Sun aka Jesus/Lucifer Morningstar.

If Gu Won is indeed a Ju, it would introduce some serious drama in the show. This means he'd be related to people responsible for the past deaths of Do Hee's parents and the current threats on her life. It's giving me Romeo and Juliet vibes haha. In Eps 11-12, I think Gu Won will discover he's a Ju. This discovery will affect him deeply, knowing he's related to those who've inflicted so much pain upon Do Hee both in the past and present. This revelation will weigh heavily on him, leading him to end his relationship with Do Hee due to overwhelming guilt.

Section 2.2 The Past...Flip It and Reverse It

Let's revisit the Joseon dynasty, a time when societal norms were so conservative and backward! My theory about Gu Won's past remains largely unchanged. I still believe the major obstacle to Gu Won and Do Hee's love story was the differences in their social classes and that Gu Won became a demon because of Do Hee. However, I'd like to add a few more details to this theory.

Before delving into the intricacies of Gu Won's past, it's essential to grasp a couple of key points. Firstly, the past is the reverse of the present. Secondly, within the show, the notion of "wealth" or "richness" takes on an unconventional meaning. While wealth is conventionally linked with material affluence --having substantial money (i.e dollar dollar bills)--here, being "wealthy" or "rich" can also mean having a soul, as souls are considered a form of currency. For example, in the present, Do Hee is rich in both the conventional and unconventional sense-- she has substantial monetary wealth and a soul. However, in the past, Do Hee was poor in the conventional sense (she was the Cinderella character in this context) but rich in the unconventional sense (i.e had a soul). Now, Gu Won in the present is rich in the conventional sense but poor in the unconventional sense (has no soul; he's the Cinderella type character in this sense). In contrast, in the past, Gu Won was rich both in terms of monetary wealth and spiritual wealth. I hope this wasn't too confusing for anyone!

Before Gu Won was a mean bankrupt vampire in the the present, he was a kind man who was well-loved by his servants in the past. Gu Won treated them with respect and as equals. This type of behavior would've been viewed by many of his social class as unusual and unconventional. In the hierarchical society of the time, where nobility often maintained a distinct separation from their servants, Gu Won's compassionate and egalitarian approach set him apart. His genuine care for those around him challenged societal norms, earning him both admiration and, inevitably, disapproval from those who clung to the traditional expectations of class distinction.

One such person who would've greatly disapproved of Gu Won's actions was his father. Judging from the flashbacks, it seemed Gu Won's father was a strict individual devoted to tradition, adherence to societal rules, and maintaining an image of wealth and power. In contrast, Gu Won disregarded these conventions, prioritizing modernity and challenging norms, a stark departure from his father's values. Therefore, Gu Won's father would've viewed Gu Won as a rebel and a devil similar to how Madam Ju viewed Seok Min. Unlike Seok Min, however, Gu Won was inherently a good person. Side note, I think it was funny that in the past, Gu Won was all about being modern, while in the present, he's all about tradition haha. How the times have changed!

Being a hedonistic individual, Gu Won would have been a frequent visitor to local kisaeng houses, and this is where I believe he initially encountered Do Hee and God. My bet is that God may have been employed as either the owner or a waitress here. As we know, God tends to hang around places with casino games, and kisaeng houses often had various gambling games.

In the past, Do Hee was the antithesis of her present self. Unlike the present Do Hee, who held no belief in God and perceived her life as modern warfare, the Do Hee of the past was deeply religious and traditional. Similar to Sonia in "Crime and Punishment", Do Hee worked as a kisaeng to support her family. Her family's financial status was probably in shambles due to her father's gambling problems and alcoholism. Despite his vices, I don't think Do Hee's father was abusive like Ga Yeong's father in the present. I think he was more like Sonia's father, where even though he was a gambler and drunkard, he never mistreated or abused Do Hee.

Much like Sonia, Do Hee was a devout Catholic. However, in contrast to Sonia, Do Hee couldn't openly practice her faith. This was because during the Joseon dynasty, the predominant religion was Confucianism. Those of the Confucius faith viewed the rise of Catholicism as a major threat to their current belief system. Therefore, many Catholics faced persecution during the Joseon dynasty.

Despite coming from two different worlds (rich vs poor), Gu Won and Do Hee connected because they were seen as oddballs and outcasts in their own social classes. Gu Won, a nobleman who treated his servants as equals found common ground with Do Hee, a religious prostitute. These two odd birds were equally matched in every respect (odd and even get it? 1+1=2), creating a connection that transcended societal norms--they were, essentially, each other's soulmates. Their only "crime" was being born in the wrong era. Their love wasn't destined to flourish during the Joseon Dynasty. Instead, it was meant to thrive in the more modern times, like the present. If only these two had a time machine to fast forward to the future. Oh right...they did have a time machine and it was called God haha.

In Ep 9, God said to Gu Won, "Some call me time". Gu Won and Do Hee had the favor of God and time on their side. While God couldn't fast-forward time in the conventional sense (i.e give them a time machine or snap her fingers to transport them to the future), she could fast-forward time in the sense that she could make one lover immortal, freezing them in time, while she reincarnated the other lover at the right time so they could meet.

Just as in the present, Gu Won and Do Hee in the past also had to deal with people who were trying to sabotage their relationship. Much like their present-day counterparts, Ga Yeong and Seok Hoon of the past were among those who sought to break up Gu Won and Do Hee for their own selfish gains. Just remember what Gu Won said in Ep 1, "Evil stems from human desires". It's the desires of these two that contributed to the tragic fates of Gu Won and Do Hee in the past.

In the past, Gu Won's father had likely chosen Ga Yeong as a bride for Gu Won instead of Do Hee. Unlike her life now, past Ga Yeong was from an affluent and influential family, making her an ideal match by Joseon's standards with her beauty, wealth, and power. What remained unchanged from the past to the present is that Ga Yeong still had a bad personality and was just as obsessed with Gu Won in the past as she was in the present.

As for Seok Hoon, being a Ju in the past, he likely still enjoyed wealth, but instead of being the humble and kind person we know him to be today (I still have my doubts btw), he was a greedy and power-hungry Ju.

If we go with my theory that Gu Won was a Ju, one might ask, what was the relationship between him and Seok Hoon in the past? I think they were brothers--Gu Won, the lazy older brother set to take over the Ju household, and Seok Hoon, the younger, ambitious brother. Seok Hoon was probably jealous of Gu Won because Gu Won seemingly had everything handed to him on a silver platter without much effort or desire (maybe they were like Cain and Abel?). Side note, I'm going to laugh if it turns out Seok Hoon killed Gu Won with a rock because that's what Cain did to Abel.

Another possibility is that Gu Won and Seok Hoon were brothers who found themselves in love with the same woman. Seok Hoon got butt hurt because Do Hee chose Gu Won over him so he decided to destroy them both. If he couldn't get love, he would seek power (hmmmm sounds similar to the present haha).

Gu Won and Do Hee were just trying to be in their own little love nest but societal norms and people's desires got in the way. Similar to the present, Ga Yeong and Seok Hoon teamed up to exploit the lovebirds' vulnerabilities. Ga Yeong coveted Gu Won's heart while Seok Hoon sought the position of heir to the Ju household. Gu Won's vulnerability was Do Hee, and Do Hee's Achilles' heel was her Catholic faith. Team Judas decided to use the lovebirds' secrets to fulfill their greatest desires. As we've seen in the show, revealing people's deepest secrets can be an effective means to achieve one's goals.

Seok Hoon found out Gu Won was in love with Do Hee and wanted to marry her which again was a no-no because noblemen couldn't marry those from lower social classes than them. And Ga Gyeong, she discovered Do Hee was a Catholic by paying someone off.

Seok Hoon and Ga Yeong probably informed Gu Won's father about Gu Won and Do Hee's secret relationship. Gu Won's father couldn't have Gu Won tarnished the family reputation by being involved with a Catholic kisaeng so he sought to eliminate Do Hee.

On the day they died, Gu Won and Do Hee were doing normal couple things like walking on the beach. However, their blissful day turned into a nightmare as they found themselves being chased by the men Gu Won's father had hired to kill Do Hee. They eventually ended up being cornered on a cliff. Subsequently, they fell into the ocean similar to the events of Ep 1. The only difference between the events of Ep 1 and the past was that Gu Won was a mortal man who didn't have the powers to save him and Do Hee.

After this death, Gu Won woke up in Hell. Why? Because he was rich and lazy. Remember what Do Hee said in Ep 1- the rich and those who don't believe in God go to Hell. You might wonder why being rich automatically lands you in Hell? It's because those who are rich usually acquire their monetary wealth through unethical and immoral means. In turn, their actions eat away at their soul until they have none. Therefore, those who don't have souls go to Hell. While Gu Won might not have been directly involved in shady dealings, he still lived off his family's wealth which may have been obtained through dishonest means. Additionally, Gu Won's slothful nature and lack of diligent work might have been another factor contributing to his descent into Hell. As for Gu Won's religious beliefs, I don't think he had one. However, maybe he did in the end because of Do Hee.

So, what about Do Hee then? Where did she end up? She probably found herself in Heaven because she was poor and believed in God. This created the same issue for the lovers in death as they had in life-- being in separate worlds. Just like in life, they weren't able to be together even in death. Do Hee ended up wishing she could be where Gu Won was, which in this case was Hell. Do Hee sacrifice her soul/Heaven for Hell.

Do Hee's sacrificial act probably deeply touched God and prompted her to offer the two lovers a once-in-a-lifetime job...become demons and earn your souls back. However, I think Gu Won wouldn't have wanted Do Hee to become a monster, so he negotiated with God that he would become a monster for the both of them. Meaning he would work as a demon to earn back both of their souls and spare Do Hee the life of working as a demon.

By doing so, Gu Won would be able to save them from Hell and live a happy life in a place between Heaven and Hell, which was Earth. However, it wouldn't be all rainbows and unicorns though. Without any soul money to bargain with, Gu Won had to give up the only bargaining chip he had--his human memories. With the last vestige of his humanity gone, God imbued him with powers so that he could work towards saving his and Do Hee's souls from Hell so that they could have a better and brighter tomorrow.

Alternatively, I can envision the events unfolding similarly to those in Episode 1 with minor differences. Gu Won regained consciousness in the waters, and instead of turning back to try and save Do Hee, he swam up and left her behind. Once ashore, he felt immense guilt about his actions and saw himself as a monster and a poison to the very woman he claimed to have loved. Like the previous theory, God appeared and offered him a deal that would allow him to redeem himself. Though I find this theory plausible, I believe the other one is more likely to occur.

Section 3: More On The Contract with God

Section 3.1 Soul Money

Now let's take a deeper dive into the specifics of Gu Won's once-in-a-lifetime job! I'll start this section off with an analogy. God is the owner of Jesus Corp. Bank where money is stored. When I say money, I'm not talking about dollar bills, I'm talking about souls or as I like to call it, "soul money".

Gu Won is working at Jesus Corp. Bank as a loan officer because he's spiritually bankrupt as in he has 0 Soul Wons (SW) in his soul bank account. As with any job, Gu Won gets paid except he doesn't get paid with earthly money, he earns soul money. To buy a soul, you have to have 1000 SW (1000 SW=1000 W). For every year that he works, he earns 10 SW or 10 won (I will go over how I came up with these calculations further down). This may seem like a lousy pay, but when it comes to reclaiming your soul, sacrifices must be made. It really is a small price to pay hahaha.

Anyways, if it costs 1000 won (1000 SW) for a soul, how many years does Gu Won have to work to earn 1000 won at a pay rate of 10 won per year? 100 years. You're probably thinking where are you getting these values from and how the math ain't mathing, but don't worry just keep reading!

Let's first start out with how I deduced a soul is worth 1000 won. I kept thinking about the bill God was holding which was 1000 won. 1000 is "cheon" which means Heaven in Korean. It dawned on me that souls have the same value as Heaven, meaning souls = 1000 won and Heaven = 1000 won. You have to have a soul to go to Heaven and those who end up in Hell have no soul.

After this, I started to investigate the clocks. I discovered the clocks in Gu Won's place and on the promotional posters were decimal clocks, commonly used by those in accounting for payroll and hourly billing. If you're curious about what these clocks are, just Google it. I'm not going to spend more time writing than I have to

Ok so now you're wondering how I came up with 10 won/year. Let's consider how Gu Won's 10th name would be Sip Won or 10 Won. Then consider how there are a total of 10 hours on the clocks in Gu Won's place which are representative of 10 years. Put those things together! Each "hour" on the clock is 1 year and each time the hour hand moves from 1 hour to the next, it's 10 won. Therefore, it's 10 won/year.

To help you understand this, I have created a figure below that includes the decimal clocks seen in Gu Won's place (orange), the promotional poster (green), and a 12-hour clock (red). It should be noted that both the orange clock and green clock have a total of 10 hours, it's just that they start at different numbers. The clocks (orange) seen in Gu Won's place are a countdown until the people go to Hell while Gu Won's clock (green) is a countdown until he gets his soul and Heaven.

Now, let's revisit the deal Gu Won offers people. The term is that you get 10 years of Heaven for selling your soul (keep in mind you don't get all of Heaven, you only get 10 years of Heaven). Mathematically calculate how much 10 years of Heaven is worth to see if it's really an equal exchange. Multiply the rate (10 won/year) by the number of years which is 10 years and you would get what? 100 won. That's how much 10 years of Heaven is worth...100 won. You might be thinking now that it wasn't an equal exchange at all, right? Depends on how you look at it! One way to look at it is that you just got cheated because you sold your soul valued at 1000 won for only 100 won of Heaven.

On the other hand, one could view it as a fair exchange because these people (except for the mother and daughter) were trying to cheat the system. Meaning they didn't want to work hard to acquire their Heaven, they would rather acquire it through dishonest means (i.e signing the contract). In the end, the cheater got cheated so it's fair haha!

The thing is every time one engaged in shady crap, it eats at your soul until you're spiritually bankrupt. In this context, you've already sold your soul to the devil. You didn't need to sign a contract with the Devil to go to Hell, you would've ended up there sooner or later because you had engaged in deceitful acts to acquire your greatest desires. One could then see Gu Won was doing the world a huge favor by signing contracts with these cheaters because he removed these bad eggs from the living world more quickly!

Some might wonder, can you be a rich person while living and not end up in Hell after? Yes, you can. How? By acquiring your wealth through honest means, following the rules, and engaging in acts of charity. In this way, you would not only be materialistically rich but spiritually rich as well.

The moral lesson in MD is to live a righteous life and work hard for the things you want in life. If you decide to engage in dishonest behavior (i.e cheating), just know you may not have to pay for it while you're living, but you'll eventually have to pay for it in the afterlife.

Section 3.2 Why Did Gu Won Have to Work for 200 Years?

Now let's consider what would happen if say were in Hell like Gu Won was, but wanted Heaven? What can you do if you are spiritually bankrupt? You got to WORK BITCHHHH to earn back your soul. Shit.... that's hard for a sloth who had never worked a day in their life...cough...cough Gu Won.

Why did Gu Won have to work for 200 years? It's because he not only had to buy back his soul but he also had to buy back Do Hee's soul too. Let's do some math....if a soul costs 1000 won and you make 10 won/year, how many years would you have to work? 100 years (10x=1000; x = 100). Again, because he had to get Do Hee's soul out of Hell, he had to work an extra 100 years.

I believe in the first 100 years on the job, Gu Won earned back Do Hee's soul which freed it from Hell. In turn, this allowed her to become reincarnated while Gu Won was still stuck working towards getting his soul back.

Now, you might be wondering if Gu Won obtained more deals, wouldn't he earn back his soul faster? Nope. It doesn't matter how many contracts he signed, he still got paid the same amount every year. What mattered was that he worked period. And this is why Gu Won didn't know how many contracts he had to sign to prevent spontaneous combustion haha. He didn't get that all he had to do was work. To earn back your soul, you have to be diligent, not take any shortcuts, and follow the rules. As a worker at Jesus Corp bank, if you're lazy for one second, you spontaneously combust haha. If you cheat and break rules, same thing haha.

One might think Gu Won would be able to get out of his job as a demon if he became human right? Not quite. I was wrong in my previous theory when I said after he became human, he would no longer face the threat of spontaneous combustion. He still faced the threat because he did not fulfill his end of the contract with God. Gu Won agreed to work as a demon for 200 years in exchange for his and Do Hee's souls. The keywords are "demon" and "200 years".

The moment he became fully human, it was like he breached his contract with God. Hence this was why he still faced the threat of spontaneous combustion even after he became a human. He was close to hitting 200 years exactly but you know some things got in the way haha. God was basically dangling a bone (i.e Do Hee) in front of Gu Won to motivate him to become a guardian demon faster. Oh and the last piece of his soul is in Do Hee!

So how much longer does Gu Won have to work for God? ~1.2 years. If you look at the clock at the beginning of Ep 9, you'll see the hour hand is pointing at ~8.80 which equates to ~1.2 years left haha. This is why later in the ep, the writer hints at this by having Gu Won say to Do Hee, "Otherwise, I might have to wait another year." So yeah, if you don't work, you die and if you break the contract, you die hahaha. I think Gu Won will continue to work for God even after his contract with her ends.

It was funny Gu Won was trying to blame God for everything. I was like boy you're the one that signed the damn contract haha. You made that decision and now you have to face the consequences of your actions haha. End of the day, God was just trying to help these two lovebirds out and to get Gu Won to grow the fuck up and know the true meaning of hard work haha. Oh, and she was also trying to get him to forgive himself for what happened in the past.

Something Punny

Let's take a quick break with something funny before we head into the next section! So what do you get when you cross a line? Read that really slowly and think about it for a minute.....YOU GET A CROSS HAHAHAHAHAHA. This writer though hahahahahaha. On a serious note, it's because Gu Won and Ga Yeong crossed the line that things have been going in a more positive direction.

Section 4: The Mechanics of The Tattoo Transfer

Before going into how everyone's choices influenced Gu Won and Do Hee's fate, let's first explore the mechanics of the tattoo transfer. I have to say, I'll never trust anything Park Bok Gyu says ever again haha. Because I believed in his little hypothesis, my theory was completely wrong haha.

The essential conditions for the tattoo transfer are as follows: 1) A full moon must be present, 2) Gu Won and Do Hee must face a life-and-death situation, 3) The person without the tattoo must genuinely desire to save the person with the tattoo, and 4) The person with the tattoo must be near death or on the brink of it. The location and timing of the ritual are inconsequential. As long as the specified conditions are met, the transfer can take place!

Section 5: Fate is a Web Woven By a Myriad of Choices

Section 5.1 Free Will Vs. Fate

Ok now let's talk about the great debate...Free Will vs Fate. Did anyone catch the writer's stance on this debate? It was conveyed in Ep 1 and Ep 10! The writer believes these two concepts can coexist with one another. This belief is known as "compatibilism"!

What is compatibilism? It's the belief that while external forces, such as God, upbringing, society, and environment, may play a role in shaping our fate, the ultimate responsibility for our decisions lies with us as individuals. All actions, whether deemed as good or evil, are fundamentally driven by the choices we make. These choices, in turn, are influenced by our internal desires, which can be shaped by external forces. In this perspective, we are active agents, empowered to play a significant role in shaping our own fates through the conscious decisions we make.

God can influence our choices, but the crux of the matter remains we are free to choose whether or not to align our choices with divine guidance. As my bf noted, "Those who don't obey God or adhere to their plans tend to find things don't work out for them. This underscores the idea that aligning our choices with divine guidance can lead to a more favorable fate.

In the show, Do Hee's decision to save Gu Won and vice versa, who had the cross tattoo, can be seen as a complex interplay between free will, determinism, and compatibilism. Her desire to save him reflects an exercise of personal agency, emphasizing the role of free will in her choice. Simultaneously, the symbolism of the cross introduces a deterministic element, suggesting an alignment with a divine plan. This dynamic highlights the compatibility between personal choice (free will) and external influences (determinism/fate), echoing the principles of compatibilism.

Simply put, God can present you with a plan, and you can choose to follow that plan or not. It's your decision. If you choose to follow the plan and things don't work out then don't go around blaming God because you're the one who made the decision, you're the one who's responsible. Nevertheless, the underlying belief is that adhering to God's plan can lead to favorable outcomes.

The ending scenes of Episode 10 exemplify the convergence of everyone choices influencing the fate of Gu Won and Do Hee. Let's start with the puppet master – God. If God hadn't conveyed to Gu Won that Do Hee needed to die to regain his power, what would have happened? Gu Won and Do Hee's plan would likely have failed, leading to Gu Won's demise. However, God disclosed this crucial piece of information to set in motion a chain of events that ultimately resulted in a positive outcome. I aslo see this as one of God's tests to determine if Gu Won was ready to have the training wheels taken off haha.

Gu Won had the option not to disclose to Park Bok Gyu what God had communicated, but he opted otherwise. As a result, Gu Won's actions led to Park Bok Gyu expressing his concerns about the necessity of Do Hee's death, which Ga Yeong overheard. This, in turn, led to Ga Yeong providing poison to Do Hee, a necessary step in fulfilling God's plan for Gu Won to regain his powers.

You see, God does know everything despite her saying otherwise (in this show, God does lie haha). She knows all the possible outcomes there are and intervenes strategically to ensure things align with her desires. Thank God, she's Team Dowon haha!

Section 5.2 Team Judas

I believe Ga Yeong's decision to disclose Gu Won's secret to Seok Min will have broader consequences than she anticipated. In the preview for Ep 11, we see Seok Hoon joining forces with Seok Min, with the motive behind Seok Hoon's decision left unrevealed. I can only speculate and say that Seok Hoon perceives joining forces with Seok Min as the lesser of two evils. Thanks to Ga Yeong, Seok Hoon views Gu Won as the embodiment of evil that needs to be exposed and crucified, and the only person with the necessary "power" for such an undertaking is Seok Min. My question is, is Seok Hoon ready to sell his soul to the Devil? In all honesty, Seok Hoon is just doing this because he wants Do Hee to be with him and not Gu Won.

I guess Seok Hoon and Seok Min will devise a plan to expose Gu Won as a demon/devil. I have no clue how exactly they're supposed to do that given when someone tries to film Gu Won doing magic, the camera cuts out. The only other way I could see them able to accomplish this goal is by hiring someone to stab Gu Won in public so people can see Gu Won can instantly heal. Or if they want to do it "The Bodyguard" style, they would hire someone to shoot Do Hee, and then Gu Won would jump in front to protect her which again would expose him as a supernatural being since he would instantly heal. In either case, People would then see Gu Won as a monster. They would try to hunt him down like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast and crucify him like Jesus. Then again this plan might fail because Gu Won being a human now might not be able to instantly heal anymore.

Another theory is that Seok Hoon is teaming up with Seok Min to take him down. Maybe Seok Hoon realized after the incident at the gas station that Seok Min was behind everything. Seok Hoon will go undercover to dig up evidence of Seok Min's crimes. This could be his redemption arc maybe. Again, I still have my doubts that Seok Hoon is actually a good guy, but I could definitely be wrong!

Section 5.3 Do Gyeong

I might be in the minority, but I genuinely hope Do Gyeong survived the car crash so that he can testify against his father. While I understand Do Gyeong crashed his car into the gas station because he saw death as the only way to escape his father's abuse, it was still wrong. I also think he did this as a way to get revenge on his father. By crashing his car into the gas station, the police would start investigating his father. In turn, this could lead them to discover Seok Min as the real culprit behind everything. Additionally, I think Do Gyeong was the one who stuck a knife into Kwang Chul's chest after he was burnt like a crispy duck. Do Gyeong probably did this for the same reason as I mentioned above...to lead cops and Gu Won to his father.

Section 6: Madam Ju, Murder of Do Hee's Parents, and Seok Min

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Madam Ju wasn't in Eps 9-10. This was odd given that in previous eps, she would always make some sort of appearance. I posed a question in my previous posts asking if Madam Ju was a figment of Do Hee's imagination or a real spirit/ghost. I've concluded Madam Ju is not just a figment of Do Hee's imagination. I think she's a real spirit/ghost.

Going back to Ep 1, Do Hee wished on her 28th (8+2=10 haha) birthday that Madam Ju would be around for a very long time to continue stabbing her in the back. God granted Do Hee's wish. God probably allowed Madam Ju to come back and talk to Do Hee as a spirit to help her heal. However, I think God restricts what Madam Ju can tell Do Hee. I feel like we'll see Madam Ju again after Do Hee discovers her dark secret.

In regards to the deaths of Do Hee's parents, I don't think Madam Ju killed them. I think it may have been an accident, but Madam Ju still blamed herself for it. Maybe what happened was that Madam Ju committed a crime out of greed like cutting costs on the production of electronic products or sabotaging a product to get insurance money and Do Hee's father found out about it. Subsequently, he went to investigate it/fix it and that's when the explosion happened.

Interestingly in Ep 10, we saw Seok Min with a tape recorder on the day Do Hee arrived at the Ju household. Could it be that Seok Min recorded his mother confessing her dirty secret and guilt for the deaths of Do Hee's parents? This might explain why Seok Min said, "So it's you, mother's way out." Maybe Seok Min was planning on using the recording to later blackmail her so he could get the chairman position.

Another theory I have is that Do Hee's father had discovered what Madam Ju was trying to cover up and then Seok Min found out about it. Seok Min then took the initiative to cover up his mother's dirty secret by getting rid of the only person who knew about it by planting a bomb in their car. Seok Min probably did all of this because he thought it would "win" his mother's love and approval and that she wouldn't see him as a devil anymore. Additionally, he thought in his own twisted way that by doing this, he was protecting his mother. Maybe Seok Min's real desire was that he just wanted Madam Ju to love him.

When Seok Min discovered Madam Ju's Chief Financial Officer had uncovered her secret and contacted Do Hee about it, Seok Min once again, turned to murder to "protect" his mother. Instead of receiving gratitude for his actions, Madam Ju scolded him for them. This was the final straw that broke the camel's back. If Seok Min couldn't have love, he would seek power, even if it meant killing Madam Ju. This act is what essentially transformed him into the real devil demon.

I just had an interesting thought. Seok Min killed the very thing he loved to obtain power, mirroring what God implied Gu Won should do with Do Hee to regain his powers (anyone getting Thanos and Soul Stone vibes haha). Perhaps this is the real difference between Seok Min and Gu Won. Gu Won wasn't willing to sacrifice the one he loved for power. Instead, he was willing to sacrifice himself to save the one he loved, which transformed him into a guardian demon. Gu Won's prioritization of Do Hee's needs over his own enabled him to obtain real power.

Section 7: Guardian Demon

Do Hee was right when she said Gu Won would be reborn as a perfect demon hahaha.....guardian demon that is! He probably follow a path similar to Lucifer Morningstar from the show "Lucifer," transforming into a figure with a psychologist-like role, assisting others in finding redemption and embracing goodness haha.

Section 7. 1 God Placed People From All Walks of Life In Gu Won's Path to Help Him Become His Best Self

Every person God strategically placed in Gu Won's path served a unique purpose, guiding him toward personal growth and offering them a chance at salvation. Take, for instance, the Wild Dogs. God orchestrated their encounter to provide Gu Won with an opportunity to rehabilitate them, transforming them into a force for good rather than evil. Similarly, the girl and her mother were placed in Gu Won's path so that he could learn guilt and compassion. Additionally, they were placed in his path so he could use his guardian demon powers to heal the girl without damning her mother to Hell!

In the case of Ga Yeong and Seok Min, I think God placed them in Gu Won's path so he can learn to forgive those who basically killed him in the past. Forgiving those whose choices once led to one's death is a challenge, but it's a necessary step in Gu Won's journey toward becoming a guardian demon.

Simultaneously, God granted Ga Yeong and Seok Min a second chance at redemption for their past actions. Witnessing Gu Won and Do Hee's genuine love for each other might be the very thing that contributes to the healing of their dark hearts, leading them to realize that deceit and manipulation should not be employed to obtain love. Quite frankly, they both need to learn to let go and move on haha.

As for Park Bok Gyu, God strategically placed him in Gu Won's life to be a positive influence, reminding Gu Won of his humanity and encouraging him to embrace his role as a guardian demon. In return, God restored Park Bok Gyu's past memories, preventing him from inadvertently signing another contract and facing a second stint in Hell. It's a fair exchange, highlighting God's generous repayment for those who serve her purpose. Random thought, is Secretary Shin like a real angel or something? Because "shin" in Korean does mean "god" haha.

Last but certainly not least, Do Hee. God placed her in Gu Won's path to assist him in confronting his inner demons, particularly the guilt he harbors for failing to protect her in their past lives. Forgiving oneself is one of the most challenging feats, and Do Hee is poised to help Gu Won realize that the tragic events of the past were not his fault. This, perhaps, stands as one of the final steps before Gu Won can fully embrace his role as a guardian demon.

God also put Do Hee on Gu Won's path so he can help Do Hee in her journey of self-forgiveness. Do Hee carried the burden of guilt for the deaths of her parents and Madam Ju, and God intended for Gu Won to be a guiding light in helping her forgive herself. Moreover, God orchestrated their meeting to help Do Hee overcome her lingering fears, including her aversion to water (in Ep 9 she didn't want to get on the ferry haha). I think her fear of water stemmed from the traumatic events of their past lives, where she and Gu Won met their demise in the ocean.

Section 7.2 No More Following The Rules in The Demon Book

In my last post, I predicted Gu Won would break one of the rules in the demon book to protect Do Hee and that's exactly what happened in Ep 10! Can you guess which rule he broke? It was the rule that stated, "You can't bring back the dead". With the training wheels off, Gu Won could now bring back the dead and that's how Do Hee was alive again and fully healed. You're probably like wait why didn't Gu Won spontaneously combust? Because he became a guardian demon!

You see, the rules in the demon book only applied to devil demons, not guardian demons. What does this mean? It means Gu Won could now do all the things the rule book said devil demons couldn't do (review my previous post for the rules). According to Kwang Chul, humans were greater than the devil or God because they could be anything. Be it the devil, god, or something much greater. In Gu Won's case, he became something much greater. He became a mutant.... a mortal human with demon powers just like I previously said.

Here comes that quote again, "With great powers come great responsibilities." God couldn't make Gu Won a guardian demon right off the bat. He had to go through a bunch of trials and tribulations beforehand so he could learn to use those powers responsibly. I mean, can you imagine if God gave Gu Won those God-like powers with no rules back when he was a spoiled lazy rich boy during Joseon? The world would be destroyed as we know it!

However, it's not over yet people! Remember Gu Won still has 1.2 years left of work in his contract with God! If he doesn't finish up that contract, he can still spontaneously combust regardless if he's a guardian demon or not! Also, Gu Won can kill now which is scary! If I were Seok Min, I would be shaking in my boots right now. Madam Ju did say Seok Min would have to pay for his sins sooner or later!

In the end, Gu Won won't be a man who couldn't have his cake and eat it too. He'll become a man who can have his cake and eat it too! He just has to learn to be a good hard-working boy like Pinocchio haha. If you work hard and live a righteous life, God rewards you with all of your heart's desires (The atheist in me wants to vomit... sorry haha).

Section 8: Who Leaked Information About Gu Won and Do Hee's Whereabouts?

Everyone is thinking it's Secretary Shin who leaked the info about Gu Won and Do Hee's location. However, I think it was Do Gyeong. Seok Min probably had Kwang Chul place a tracker on Do Hee's car and when Do Gyeong hacked Seok Min's phone, he was able to obtain the tracking data. As for Team Judas, maybe Seok Hoon had placed a tracker in Do Hee's purse or put himself as a contact in her "Find My" app!

Section 9: Symbolism

Section 9.1 The Necklaces

In my first MD post, I highlighted the presence of both a silver and a gold necklace worn by Gu Won and Do Hee, and I've now unraveled the significance behind them: Gold symbolizes the Sun and Heaven, while Silver represents the Moon and Hell. Let's delve into Gu Won's necklaces first.

As mentioned previously, the silver cross necklace was speculated to either have belonged to Do Hee or been a gift from her to Gu Won. Notably, Gu Won's gold necklace doesn't feature a cross (unlike Do Hee's necklaces, which bear lover's knots). Why is this? Simply put, Gu Won didn't embrace faith in God and wasn't a Catholic. Gu Won wearing the silver necklace with the cross serves as a testament to Do Hee's steadfast faith, which played a pivotal role in saving them from eternal damnation in Hell. At the same time, when I think of silver, I think of Judas who betrayed Jesus for 30 silver coins, werewolves, and vampires haha.

The choice of material may also offer insights into Gu Won and Do Hee's past. Gold, being an expensive material, was a luxury afforded only by the wealthy, such as noblemen. In contrast, silver, being more affordable, aligns with the humbler status of individuals like kisaengs. Silver exudes humility akin to Do Hee, while gold mirrors the extravagant and ostentatious nature of Gu Won haha.

Now, turning to Do Hee's necklaces – they symbolize the enduring connection between her and Gu Won, transcending realms of Hell and Heaven forever and to infinity! Their love acts as a powerful force, enabling them to overcome any barriers to be reunited.

Section 9.2 Flowers

Section 9.2a Devil's Trumpets

Remember Devil's Trumpets from "The Glory" haha? Its scientific name is Datura stramonium, also known as devil's snare (any Harry Potter fans here? haha). This plant belongs to the nightshade family, a group where many members are poisonous (potatoes, eggplants, tomatoes, etc are part of this family, but they're not toxic). While Devil's Trumpets can be highly toxic, they can also possess medicinal properties and have been used to treat various illnesses. Occult practitioners sometimes consume this flower for visionary experiences.

In the story of Romeo and Juliet, the poison the star-crossed lovers consumed was from a member of the nightshade family called "Belladonna." Considering this, Ga Yeong's poison to Do Hee could have been either Devil's Trumpets or Belladonna. Additionally, the Devil's Trumpet might symbolize Gu Won, suggesting that despite the toxicity of his family (the Ju family), he is a benevolent person capable of healing rather than harming. He's an eggplant haha!

Section 9.2b Poppy

What do poppies symbolize? Death, dreams, and remembrance. It's fitting given in the Ep 11 preview, Gu Won will have a dream of his past life and remember shit. Who knows maybe we will finally get to see how he died? The poppy in his ear could also be a foreshadow that he will die again verrryyyy soon haha.

Section 9.3 Snakes

Christianity seems to have a knack for twisting once-positive symbols into something negative! Before snakes became synonymous with evil, the Devil, and Satan, they were revered as good spirits in Greek and Korean mythology

In Ancient Greece, snakes were often linked to Agathodaimon, a lesser deity meaning "good/noble spirit" (this is what Gu Won is; I bet the writer will mention this term haha). Agathodaemons were household gods and protectors of those who worshipped them. Representations of Agathodaimon featured snakes with a poppy flower (similar to Gu Won's in the EP 11 preview) and an ear of grain, symbolizing prosperity and fertility respectively. This deity was also portrayed as a man holding a cornucopia, akin to Thanksgiving traditions. Ancient Greeks would honor Agathodaimon with a few drops of wine after a meal.

In Greek myths, Agathodaimon was believed to be the spouse of Tyche (probably Do Hee), the goddess of fate and fortune (also known as Lady Fortuna or Lady Luck). In Egypt, Agathodaimon was associated with Osiris, the Lord of the Underworld, and Shai, the god of fate. Basically, you would want Agathodaimon because he would bring you good luck, wealth, and protection.

In Korean mythology, snakes were also viewed as creatures of good luck. For example, in Korean myths, the Imoogi was one big fat snake that brought good luck and fertility to crops. However, it was believed if you ever prevented an Imoogi from ascending to the Heavens, bad shit would happen like plagues, typhoons, infertile land, and famine. The overall message is don't kill snakes because bad shit will happen. I'm suddenly getting a bad feeling Gu Won is going to get killed and a natural disaster will occur haha. For those wanting to learn more about Imoogis, you can click on the link below or Google it.

So y'all are probably wondering why the hell i'm telling you all of this? It's because in Ep 10, Gu Won rolled what is known as "snake eyes". The reason this roll is called "snake eyes" is because the 1's resemble the two pips to the eyes of a snake. In craps, this roll can either mean you're really lucky or unlucky, representing an odd phenomenon. For example, when you roll snake eyes on the initial roll, you have to roll it again on the next roll to win the round. However, the probability of rolling "snake eyes" is very low (2.78%).

Another thing to mention is how 2 odd numbers can equal an even number where 1+1=2. You could also view Gu Won's roll as a good omen because it's 1...1....11 which is considered a lucky number! Our little lovers are snakes who are bringers of luck and fertility haha.

FYI, one of God's rolls was a "push" or "standoff" roll which are two 6's. Like snake eyes, this roll has the same low probability of 2.78%. The funny thing about Gu Won's roll and God's roll is that Gu Won's roll is the lowest value you can get which is 2 and God's roll is the highest value you can get which is 12.

Section 10: OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS

I have none. I'm brain-dead from researching, thinking of stuff, and editing this monster of a post. K byeeee

#my demon #there are probably grammatical mistakes #song kang #kim yoojung #do dohee #jeong gu won #gu won #devil #ga Yeong #do hee #why did i write so much #my brain hurts now #kim you jung #long post #long reads #i hate plagiarists #daemon #seok hoon #the writer of this show is so religious hahaha

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jellybeanium124 · 4 months

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Hi, Australian Jew here.

Sending this anonymously because I'm not openly Jewish on Tumblr, however I am considering doing so in the short-term.

I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you a few questions, if you're open to it (feel free to ignore this if so). Just so you know, I'm asking the same questions of the Jewish bloggers I follow who post regularly - both those who blog about the current Israel/Palestine situation, and those who identify as Jewish but post mainly fandom/other content.

Do you or have you receive/d abuse for being Jewish, or for your stance on the war? If so, how often? How do you respond to any hateful messages? Do you post them publicly or answer them privately? How much would you say your mental health is/has been affected by any messages, or by the content you see on your feed? Have you developed any strategies for handling social media during this time?

Thank you for reading. :-)

I've received maybe half a dozen antisemitic hate anons since 10/7. I wanna say maybe 2 or 3 between june 7, 2020 (when I created this blog) and oct 7, 2023. I think I've posted the hate anons publicly once or twice, but after that I just screenshotted, blocked them, and sent them to one of my jewish friends for mocking. honestly they didn't bother me that much. a lot of them were low effort. nobody even threatened to kill me. the terfs put more effort into harassing me and I'm not even trans. frankly the antisemites need to step up their game.

while the messages haven't hurt me... yeah... the war in general has affected me. I've lost a lot of faith in the strength of my relationships with goyim. several of them have left me. every time I post about the war I'm certain I'm going to lose another friend, and that hurts. it's been a little nerve-wracking discussing it with my irl goyische friends, but to my massive relief all of them are normal about the situation. however, about a month ago, me and a friend of 15 years got into a small tiff about it, and when they went radio silent all day, visions of them hating me filled my head and I had to send a super annoying socially anxious text to make sure they don't hate me now. thank gd they do not. I love them deeply and want them to be in my life for as long as we live. we still have to come up with a gender-neutral alternative to aunt/uncle for my kids to call them someday. if they decided to cut me off that would've been the last straw for a mental breakdown, actually.

sometimes it gets really tough to see this stuff on my dash. I've gotten better at just filtering out all the blocked posts that pass me by. to be perfectly, 100% honest with you, if tumblr didn't allow me to block content so thoroughly and I had to see every single post about the war put onto my dash... I would've left tumblr months ago. or just unfollowed 95% of the people I follow. I could not handle that. I'm sorry. this war did upset me enough to the point where I decided to take a two-day break from tumblr (I... have a problem... you all know how much time I spend here...). I've lost a close friend on tumblr of several years that made me cry. as for other social media? I only look at two people's instagram stories these days. one of my friends, who posts her outfits daily and basically nothing else, and con o'neill. I don't trust anyone else not to put stuff that will upset me in front of my eyes. I've unfollowed a couple of people on instagram because I can't block stuff as thoroughly there. I'm also just... not on ig that much.

the past several months have also made me deeply disillusioned with the state of the left. why should I care about unrelated leftist movements when I know all of my comrades there would turn on me in a millisecond if they knew that I thought israel should keep existing even though it's done horrible things? it's turned me off of activism... seeing these "pro-palestine" protests quickly turn into "harass jews" protests and the way these college students discuss these issues, fetishizing palestinian pain and not knowing a single thing about it, is just... it makes it all feel so fake and hollow. these privileged college kids are comparing themselves to gazans and I'm supposed to believe they actually care about gazans and don't just want to feel like righteous heroes? these people verbally and physically harass jews and I'm supposed to believe they're the good guys? I don't like feeling this way. I wish I didn't feel this way. but right now the only political action I give a shit about is voting. I'm gonna vote. I'm always gonna vote. but why on earth would I get involved with people who say "punch nazis" until nazis are on their side and increase their numbers then suddenly it's all "uwu nazis are hard to get rid of 🥺?"

I understand why you're hiding your jewishness. I've started hiding it too. I stopped wearing my magen david on october 13th. I recently had my first paid film gig (yay for that at least), and whenever I was telling a story that involved my jewishness in some way, I bent the truth to go around that tidbit and told no one. someone asked if I was irish. I answered I was eastern european. a year ago I would've said I was jewish without a second thought.

I'm tired. I want the war to end. I want there to be a peace deal. I want innocent civilians to stop dying and be safe.

I don't think I'm brave, or anything. I'm a safe lil american thousands of miles away. I don't know what palestinians and israelis are living through right now. my pain is a single molecule of sand compared to the pain people actually affected by this war have gone through. all I want is for people to listen to us. I don't speak up to be brave, I speak up because knowing a jew is the only inoculation against the hatred spreading through the pro-palestine movement. because if you know me, then jews aren't foreign. noa's a jew. noa's my friend. noa likes billy joel. noa writes silly incorrect quote posts. noa's a person. she's not some scary unknown. she's my friend.

I wish people still wanted to be my friend.

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piethemoon · 5 months

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In defense of Abby Clark

I've been watching 911 for 3 years now, but I've always kept to myself and haven't interacted with a lot of people from the fandom. This changed recently because of my excitement for canon bisexual Buck (and the very real chance of canon Buddie) and my for you page on Twitter is now full of tweets about 911. It made me realize how many people hate Abby, to the point of sometimes advising people on skipping season 1 entirely (which I don't get because why would you willingly miss an entire season, especially one that set most of the characters and their relationships with each other?).

I think it's totally fine to dislike her but sadly, some people seems to need to twist the reality in order to look good while doing it.

As of today, I have watched the entire first season again (and the first few episodes of season 2) and thought I'd question some stuff that are presented as facts to new fans :

She was abusive/toxic toward Buck:

Where ? Like, really guys.. Where ?

First of all, I think some people are turned off by the age gap. Nothing wrong with having your own preferences. But there's no reason to make it into something it's not. Nothing in the show even hint that Abby targets younger men. There's also no scene where she tries to use his age against him. When we can hear her thoughts about him, she's never thinking about him in a predatory way and while she does seems to be a bit self conscious about her age, that's it. It's not even an important part of the plot.

Also, you know. Relationships with a big age gap between two (or more) consenting adults aren't inherently harmful, especially when the characters are fictionnal. Buck is absolutely not "too young" to date her. He's an adult man who's considered adult enough by people around him to take decisions about people's lives every day.

Sure, the way she gets his number is very questionnable, but she tells him the truth very openly. I think it's one of the many times in the show where the characters are shown being unprofessional and we're supposed to suspend our beliefs about it.

Also, if you consider this preying on Buck, do you realize the amount of women he has preyed on by using his status as firefighters? We know he dated or had sex with women he saved before, which is pretty creepy when you keep in mind that it means they might feel like they owe him a date (or more). And yet we all know his intentions are absolutely not to manipulate them into anything. So why is it so difficult to also assume Abby's intentions were absolutely not to prey on him? She seems to be happy to see someone in their work field recognize her skills, and feel like she understands him. She seems to just wants to connect with him, whether you interpret it as a romantic interest from the beginning or not.

She went away to Dubling at a key point of their relationship :

That's because she's a well written character, who's personnality doesn't revolve around her romantic relationship! That's a good thing! She's a normal woman, who spend years taking care of her mom, pretty much on her own for the most part, and she not only watched her mom's state worsen, but she also watched her suffer and loose her sense of self. And it's so tragic that her mom dying is the only thing that can truly make her free. She seems to have given up many things (including a relationship) to care for her mom.

Obviously leaving to go to Dublin wasn't the best thing to do for her relationship but to be fair, she certainly seems adamant that she's going to come back. Also, I think it's good writing! This is a woman who's far more than her romantic relationship, who lost her mom and who's realizing she doesn't know herself. It's only natural that a person like her, with self respect and a lot of life experiences would understand the importance of some selfishness, especially because she's been selfless for so long. Her mom sacrificied many things and she doesn't want to do the same!

She ghosted Buck

Well, actually... She didn't? I actually remembered that too since it's often presented as fact by some fans but she seems to have broken up with him in a way that is obvious enough that (at least) Chimney realizes. I'm not saying it was well done, of course and she probably should have been a thousand times clearer but it does seems she tried to end things. We can't be a hundred percent sure of what was said between them so it's difficult to know if part of it isn't also Buck not having the experience of a serious relationship ending/being a little bit in denial. But interestingly, certain fans seems to think it's completely her responsability.

We can assume she might have been a bit careless with it, but again, I think it makes sense for her character, who cared for her mom & her job so much that maybe she's becoming a lot more selfish now.

But no matter what you think about it.. This is absolutely not the proof of a toxic or abuse relationship. It doesn't erase the actual happy moments they shared together, the way they both improved through that relationship and it's literally the only time she messed up in their relationship, that was obviously about to end anyway. And if you can forgive/understand Buck for cheating on Taylor.. Why can't you at least not rewrite their actual relationship?

She didn't trust Buck when he was accused of being a cheater:

Again, she's not written as one dimensional character who's existence only rely on her romantic interest. Sure, she trusts Buck (and she does end up believing him) but it's understandable that, while she's going through the first stage of grief, she might not have the patience or energy to listen to her boyfriend defend himself in the very public place where everyone saw him being accused of cheating on you. It was very brief and she wasn't even mean about it. Come on.

Athena hates her:

I see people making edits of out of context moments to try and say that Athena (and the others) always disliked Abby.

To be honest, that one feels a bit sexist. So because Athena is not jumping to hug her it means she hates her? Female characters (and real women) can be not super close without hating each other. Honestly, they both don't look like they really care about the other, and that's all. And that's really not a big deal.

And I think it's the same for the other characters. Bobby seems to respect her a lot and actually helps Buck improve his relationship with her. The other characters don't seems to care for Abby and it's not like they really interact with each other anyway.

Conclusion :

Basically, I wish people would just say they don't like her instead of using moral reasons to make themselves look good for disliking her. And I would also add.. I've seen some of those people says they want complex female characters. Are you sure this is what you want or do you just want female characters who are easily disposable when they're not needed for your favorite male character? (it's not a judgement, I just think people should be honest about that)

And personnally.. I kind of like her. She's always very tired and we don't necessarily see the best moments of her life but I think that's the point of her story in the show. And I'm so glad 911 gave us so many women who are in their 40s or older (Athena, Hen, Karen, Abby...) and who are living full and rich lives. It's so very refreshing and I love that they never tried to make Abby look younger. She has wrinkles! She never tried to convince herself or other people that she was young! It's not even something she really cares about!

And I do think that, as much as she messed up in the end, she was a very good influence for Buck, and it's pretty sad to deny that part of his story. Her age actually helped with that because her life experience means she wasn't too impressed with him and was able to stand her ground which I think Buck liked. She challenged him! It helped him see that he is able to have a serious relationship (which I hope will be used for Buddie hehe) It's pretty great imo and I'm glad she was a part of the show.

#911 #abby clark #evan buckley #buck

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cleverthylacine · 1 year

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Tag 10 People You Want to Get to Know Better

Relationship status: Extremely divorced. Prowl levels of divorced. Four times! Multiple genders! Still hopeful though! I would like to be in a relationship but probably nobody who is not a quadruped should live in the same house with me; while the other parties involved definitely had contributing issues and one was an honest-to-G-d abuser, I’m the only one who’s done it 4 times.

Favourite colour: This varies; it’s usually pink, but can also be purple and various shades of light blue, teal or peach. There are shades of yellow and yellowish green that are deeply, almost physically unpleasant and painful for me to look at. I’m very autistic that way.

I always get the highest scores possible on those colour sensitivity tests, and was almost broken as a kid by my mother telling me I had to match colours because to my eyes almost nothing matched so I just wore whatever I personally thought looked good. Turns out everyone other than my mother thought so too. I was really good at “matching blacks” during my goth stage.

Something I want right now: universal basic income and to quit my job so I can write and dance and learn how to draw again. Song stuck in my head: Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds (it’s one of my Starscream songs)

Three favourite foods: My three easiest to obtain favourites are: 1. Rib eye steak, particularly the outer part, rare but not cold. 2. Salmon and asparagus with brown rice farina and cheese. 3. Haagen-Dazs butter pecan ice cream. I’m autistic. Other brands are close, but for me close but not quite as good is “nasty” not “acceptable”‘ -- if the brand isn’t available, I’ll get some other gluten free flavour. Too close is deeply disappointing. Something that doesn’t sound awful can only be mildly disappointing and might be good.

Last song I listened to: “You Better You Bet” by the Who. I always imagine Grimlock singing this to Howlback.

“I don’t really mind how much you love me--oooh, a little is all right When you say, come over and spend the night, tonight!”

(He is demiro, she is aro. She loves him to pieces, but despite the fact that they are so hot for each other they fuck rather than hug hello, she has never been In Love in her life and is grateful for that because she thinks being In Love makes people of every species act crazy AF.)

Last thing I googled: 1960s brutalist jewellery. That’s what @legendtrainer, who tagged me, googled last, and I, who have only ever heard “brutialist” applied to architecture, wondered what the fuck that was. It turns out that I own a fuck ton of it, though it’s all from the 70s and early 80s. I bought it when I wanted to cosplay my Star Trek: TOS OCs. I thought it would look like Klingon or Vulcan stuff. I wonder if the ones I haven’t taken apart and strung together with other things are worth anything.

Dream trip: I want to go back to Japan with more time and a lot more money.

Aside from that, though, in terms of practical dreams: I was supposed to go to TF-Con LA but my brother got cancer and I bought him some of his meds while waiting for his coverage to kick in because, you know, I don’t want him to die. And his special food that insurances just don’t cover.

Don’t live in America. We’re a beautiful country but we’re a cruel one.

No pressure tags (seriously, NO PRESSURE): @bitegore (who I know very well but not about this kinda thing); @byzantienne (who I was very close to for years but rarely see now because she is Married and writing really good books and it’s Ninety-Three Thylacine, I know animals are weird choices but when have I ever not been weird); @stuffbyshelby2; @guesso13; @inktheblot (who I wanted to be friends with for years because of the videos and finally met in TF-land); @satellitesoundwave; @shychangling; JD (you keep changing blog titles); @jariktig; @cybervillainess.

#get-to-know-you-games

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adventuretolkienlover · 1 year

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The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 2: Home At Last!)

Intro: OMG THIS TOOK FOREVER! I'm am so sorry guys! Yeesh! I've got to get faster. Anyway, I hope you all like this new chapter. I tried to accurately write Hugo's PTSD from his previous life with Donella and Cyrus. I don't know how good I did, but I did my best. So, I guess that's what counts. Also, I've done a great injustice to portraying romance. Namely Ulla and Quirin. I'm am so sorry.🤣 I'm SO terrible at the lovey dovey stuff! Hopefully I'll get better at that. Honestly I'm better at comedy. (Oh! And as usual, please do not tag as Varigo! This is a Sibling AU! Thank you guys!) Now without further Ado, the chapter! (EDIT: Fixed a big mistake in the continuity. Note to self: Never update when under pain meds.🤣)

Chapter 1 ⬅️ Chapter 3➡️

Summary: Varian is finally going home! And Hugo and Ulla are with him! Hugo is nervous about meeting Quirin. He's a an ex-knight and a lord? Yikes! But that becomes the least of his worries when a "technical mishap" occurs.

Trigger Warnings: Brief Implied Abuse

Varian drove the caravan down the road that led to Old Corona. It's engines we're on it's last legs and he hoped it would make it at least to the edge of the village. Varian couldn't wait to see his dad again! It had been so long since he'd been home. He could hardly wait to be back in his old lab. And have some of his dad's home cooked meals. And it wouldn't be just him and Quirin anymore. Varian looked over his shoulder at Hugo and Ulla. They were sitting in the back. Ulla was excitedly talking to Hugo about everything she wanted to do now that she was free. And Hugo looked all to happy to be spending time with her. Varian figured it was the only real exposure he'd had to a good mother figure. And knowing that said mother figure genuinely cared about him made everything better. The sight warmed Varian's heart. He couldn't be happier with two of his favorite people with him.

Of course the pets were there. Ruddigar and Cheese were sitting on Varian's bunk and appeared to be reading a Flynn Rider book together. And Frankie and Buttercup, the two puppies that Hugo and Varian had found were also present. Buttercup was snoozing on Hugo's lap. And Frankie, being the bundle of energy he was, was trying to get Ulla to notice him by tugging on her apron strings. Ulla put the squirmy puppy in her lap to calm him down. It wasn't very effective. He instead took to tugging at her sleeves. Varian smirked. That pup was nothing but trouble sometimes.

Despite all this, the caravan still had a feeling of emptiness in it. It was strangely quiet without Belle and Jacky. Jacky and Belle had left to find places to stay at the capital. Ulla had offered to take them in, but they didn't want to encroach on the family. For a house that was used to having only a father and one son, having a mother and another boy in the house would be quite the change already! They promised they would find a good place to stay and to keep in touch. Varian hoped they would be okay and that he see them again soon. Varian had other worries too. They had made plenty of enemies on their journey. Some of them were still alive and searching for them. He hadn't told Ulla yet, out of fear of what it would do to her. And Donella? Donella was a whole other story. Telling her that her best friend had turned evil and tried to kill him and his friends? Varian had contemplated simply not telling her, but the truth would get out eventually. He shook the worries from his mind and tried to focus on the positive. He turned back toward the road. "We're almost there guys!" he shouted to them!

"Yes! Can't wait!" said Ulla! "One thing a have to do now that I'm free is check out the capital! I haven't been there in years! And Varian told me that the princess there had magic hair, but she doesn't anymore. But I'd still love to meet her! She was stuck in one place for a long time just like me! Of course, she was stuck in a tower for eighteen years and I was stuck in a library. Did I tell you how happy I am to be out?"

"Yes." Hugo chuckled. "A few times."

"Oh right! Ugh! I'm sorry! I'm so excited. I can't wait to see Quirin again! I wonder if he's changed much?"

"What's Quirin like?" asked Hugo curiously. He wasn't gonna lie. He was a bit nervous meeting Varian's father. He didn't know what to expect.

"Oh! He's the best! He's kind and thoughtful! And he loves everyone in the village! You'll love him! And he's gonna like you too! The last time I saw Quirin, he was a knight for the Dark Kingdom! And klnow Varian tells me he's been farming all this time! Tall about a crazy career switch amight?" rambled Ulla. Hugo's eyes widen. "Wait, he's a knight?" Varian realized he never told Hugo much about his dad.

"Uh, yep! Well he was knight."

"You mean knight as in, has military training?" asked Hugo worriedly.

"Um, yes. Is this a bad time to tell you my dad's kinda the lord of Old Corona?"

"WHAT! Wait, your nobility?!"

"You didn't tell me that Varian! Cool!" exclaimed Ulla.

"He didn't tell me either!" said a very flustered Hugo!

"I guess... It didn't cross my mind. I mean we've been on the road most of the time and running from you know who."

Hugo stood there with his jaw dropped. He didn't know what to say.

"Who's this You Know Who?" asked Ulla.

"I - Uh- N - Nothing!" Hugo stammered. He hugged his knees and took a deep breath. "Okay. He has military training AND connections to the crown. I've make sure I get on his good side." Hugo was so anxious, he didn't even realize he was talking to himself. But Ulla did.

"Hey, it's okay Honey." Ulla rubbed his back. Hugo looked at her. "Don't be so nervous. He's gonna love you. You're a sweetheart. It will be fine. Okay?" Hugo nodded. Ulla pulled him into a side hug. Varian smiled. He heard everything. The caravan climbed over one last hill. At the top, Varian could see Old Corona stretching out before them. "Guys! We're here!" Varian tried to put on the brakes to slow down. But nothing happened. Varian looked down surprised at the brakes and tried again. Nothing. Varian's eyes grew wide. "Uh oh." He thought. He tried again. And again! And again! His panic rising with every attempt! Suddenly Ulla and Hugo both noticed the commotion up front. They both looked at Varian in confusion. "Everything okay?" Ulla asked. "Yep! Just fine!" shouted a very frantic Varian. He turned around and gave a fake grin. Suddenly his hairstripe started to glow!

"Gah!" yelped Varian and he frantically covered it up with one hand before quickly turning back to the dash, his face reverting back to panic. Now, this whole "Hairstripe Glowing Thing" may seem strange. But there will be more on that later. Varian furiously began pressing the brakes again. Hugo looked at Varian clearly struggling with a deadpan expression. "Varian. You're not fooling anyone. What's up?" said Hugo.

"Okay. Nobody panic." said Varian. "But uh... I think the brakes went out."

"WHAT?!" shouted Ulla and Hugo!

"I said don't PANIC!" said Varian, who was panicking.

"We're not panicking!" Hugo said as him and Ulla frantically ran up into the cab! "Who says we're panicking?" (He was though.)

"Maybe we can jump out!" said Ulla!

"We're going too fast!" replied Varian.

"Okay! Well, what if we hit something soft?!" Ulla suggested.

"Not any people I hope!" yelled Hugo as he spotted some bewildered farmers watching them pass by in their fields! Varian spotted some hay stacks in the distance. He got an idea! "That's it!" he said! "If we cut the power, and steer into those hay stacks, we should stop!"

"The ones on the other side of town square?!" shouted Hugo terrified!

"Yep!" replied Varian!

"Okay everyone! Strap down! This is gonna get bumpy!" called back Ulla! The puppies ran and hid under the bunks. Ruddigar grabbed Cheese and jumped in a crate!

"Guys? There's only one problem with that plan! The fuel intake is one the outside!" said Hugo.

"I know. Hugo! Take the wheel!" said Varian!

"Varian?! What are you doing?!" said Hugo as he switched places with Varian!

"Saving us!" said Varian, as he began to climb out the window and onto the hood!

"VARIAN! Get in here!" Yelled Hugo! But Varian was already almost on the caravan's hood! "Be careful!" shouted Ulla!

"I don't worry! I'll be fine! I hope." replied Varian, who's was now hanging onto the hood! He opened it a crack and began fiddling around, trying to find the fuel intake. He found it and yanked it out! The engine made a loud BANG noise and then lost power! They we're moving purely on inertia now! "I got it!" said Varian excitedly! Suddenly he almost lost his balance! Varian yelped and waved his arms, trying to keep his balance! Ulla and Hugo gasped! Ulla kicked the cab door open, grabbed Varian, and pulled him inside just as he began to fall off! Hugo looked over his shoulder at Ulla hugging a very shell shocked Varian! They were both on the knees! Clearly neither of them had the nerves to stand up.

"Oh my gosh! You have me a heart attack!" Ulla said!

"How do you think I feel?!" said Varian shaking!

"HOLD ON!" yelled Hugo as they neared town square! People had already spotted them and were running out of the way screaming!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Varian's father Quirin was quietly turning the soil in one of his estate's many pumpkin fields. It was what seemed a mundane or tiresome task. But for a man that had seen many a war and bloodshed, there was no better peace found then in tending living things. Unlike most nobels, he enjoyed working the land. Instead of leaving farm work to the lower classes, he always helped in farming the land surrounding his estate and in bringing in the harvest. It always brought him joy to see his people working together and with him. However, lately he had been a bit depressed. Even when doing his favorite farm chores. He lifted his face to feel the calming presence of the wind and sighed. He's gaze fell upon the road that led away from Old Corona. The wall surrounding the kingdom had been long since torn down and he could see the road reaching far into the distance. It had been almost a year since Varian had left down that very road. And Quirin missed him more everyday. And it was agonizing to not know if his boy was safe. He turned to go back to his chores when he heard a familiar sound faintly in the distance. He looked up and searched around for the source. It sounded like Varian's caravan! And people screaming? He looked toward the town! Was that Varian's caravan?! At first, Quirin got excited. But something seemed off. Quirin peered at the strange sight in the distance. Where we're the caravan's horses? And why was it barreling toward town?! Something must be wrong! Quirin quickly threw down his gardening hoe and mounted a nearby farm horse. Quickly, he began riding toward the town!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hugo steered wildly through the town, trying not to cause any damage! "Sorry! Excuse us! Coming through!" he shouted as another group of farmers ran out of the way! Varian just knew they were going to get an earful from them later. "LOOK OUT!" Ulla yelled as they dodged a horse drawn cart!

"Was that Ulla?!" said a villager as the caravan sped past! At this point, everything was pure chaos! Chickens were fluttering! People were running, jumping, and screaming! Objects ranging from fruit to tools we're flying everywhere! And Hugo was trying his hardest to navigate through it all! Quirin reached the village just in time to see the caravan shoot out of it like a rocket! It wizzed past him and steered into a nearby field. Hugo headed for the largest hay stack!

"Making contact in three, two, ONE!" said Varian! And with a FOOMP the caravan crashed into the hay stack! Hay and dust went flying! But the caravan had stopped! Quirin stared in shock at the crashed caravan. Then rode toward it. He dismounted his horse and ran up to the cab. "Varian?!" he shouted and banged on the cab door! Suddenly the door swung open! Varian pocked his head out! He was covered in hay, coughing from the dust, and his googles had slid over his eyes! "Hey! *Cough* Guys! I think we- *Cough Cough* I think we stopped WAAA-" Varian clumsily fell out and into Quirin's arms! Varian looked up at him.

"Dad!" he said excitedly!

"Son!" said Quirin hugging him. Varian threw his arms around Quirin's neck as he was lifted clear off the ground in his embrace. Quirin was incredibly relieved to see his boy. He was finally in his arms again. Safe and sound. Varian was just as happy and buried his face in Quirin's shoulder. The scent of familiarity calming his soul. Just then, Quirin heard the sound of someone approaching. He looked up curiously. He caught sight of someone walking out of the cloud of dust behind the caravan.

"Varian?" said Quirin. Varian looked behind them. Then smiled. He knew who it was. The figure got closer and closer. Then walked out of the dust. It was Ulla. Quirin's eyes widen and his jaw dropped. He slowly put Varian down. Ulla coughed from the dust and brushed off her clothes. Suddenly she locked eyes with Quirin. Her arms dropped to her sides and she stared at him. They stood there for a moment. Not daring to move. Was this real? Were they really together again? Ulla gulped and broke the silence.

"Quirin?" she said quietly.

Quirin nodded. He had tears in his eyes. A smile broke out across his face.

"Ulla?" he said. Ulla gasped excitedly and ran toward him! Quirin reached out to embrace her. Ulla leaped into his arms. Quirin lifted her off the ground in hug, just like with Varian. And spun her around before stopping and holding her tight.

"It is you!" said Ulla through the joyful tears. "It's really you!"

"I thought I'd never see you again!" said Quirin. This was better then he could have hoped for! His son AND wife had come home! Varian meanwhile was practically quivering with excitement. His whole family was back together. Just then Ulla and Quirin gave each other very passionate kiss. "Woah! Oh, uh." Varian blushed and looked away with a nervous laugh. He didn't want to encroach on their moment. They certainly needed one after being so far apart. A crowd began to gather. They had made a big commotion and everyone was curious.

"Is that Varian?" said one.

"Of course! Who else would it be?" someone answered.

"Who's that lady? Is that Ulla?" asked another.

"Yes! I think it is! She's back too!"

Soon Varian lost sight of his parents amongst the town's people. But he heard his father reassuring them that everything was okay. The back doors of the caravan opened and the puppies scampered out. Followed by Ruddigar and Cheese, who staggered from the rough stop and fell right out of the caravan! They both laid on the ground, trying to stop the world from spinning. Hugo staggered out next.

"Hugo!" said Varian! Quirin and Ulla turned their eyes toward the boy walking dizzily towards them. Varian ran up to his friend and began leading him toward his parents! The crowd had began to dissipate and there was clear path now.

"Come on! I want you to meet my dad!"

"Heh. Great Hairstripe." said Hugo. "Let do th-" Hugo froze in front of Quirin. Hugo was not expecting him to be so... GINORMOUS!

"Hugo, meet my dad! Dad? Hugo!"

Hugo nodded and tried to fight the urge to run away. "H-Hi..." Hugo squeaked. Hugo was used to be the tallest around. Having someone towering over him like this was a bit unsettling.

"Hugo is my best friend and also pretty much my brother. At least we think of each other that way. Kinda like you and the Brotherhood?"

"I see." said Quirin.

Quirin looked toward Hugo for confirmation. But Hugo was too focused on wondering just how strong Varian's father was. He looked like the type that could snap a tree in half! Quirin looked Hugo over. He clearly wasn't from Corona. And had a few piercings in his ears and an undercut. He was also very pale compared to Varian. Quirin guessed he was from one of the colder kingdoms. He felt a twinge of suspicion, because he looked a bit like some of the thieves he'd seen hanging around Bayangor. But his demeanor didn't seem threatening. In fact, he looked quite nervous. Quirin was always a bit awkward in social situations. But even though the boy seemed a bit different, he wanted to make a good impression. Especially since he was one of Varian's friends. He put on a friendly smile and shook Hugo's hand. Hugo almost jumped out of his skin in surprise. He looked down at Quirin's hand in shock. It practically engulfed his own. And his grip was like a vise! "Well Hugo, it's good to meet you. You and Varian seem very close. You're welcome to stay with us if you like."

"Th - Thank you." Hugo stammered. After his hand was let go, he rubbed it and let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sure you're all tired from the journey." said Quirin. "Let's go home. We can all rest and talk there." Ulla squealed with excitement and took her husband's hand. "Let's go Varian!" She said.

"Yeah we'll be right there!" he called back. "Come on!" he said patting Hugo on the shoulder. "Let's get out stuff from the caravan.

"Right." said Hugo. Varian ran inside the caravan. Hugo paused and looked nervously after Quirin and Ulla walking away. His eyes fell on Quirin's fist. A brief frightening memory of Cyrus raising his fist to strike him ran through Hugo's mind. Hugo flinched and shut his eyes. He gritted his teeth as he tried to make the uncomfortable memory fade. He took a deep breath and let himself calm down. The memory faded away a bit. He looked up again at Quirin walking away, before hurrying to join his brother in the caravan.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Varian shut the caravan doors closed and locked them. Him and Hugo had their packs of stuff ready and on their backs. "Alright. Let's go home." said Varian tossing the keys in the air cheerfully. They began to walk down the road toward Varian's home. The pets ran on ahead. "You're gonna love this place. It's kinda quiet, except when your know, I'm causing accidental explosions - But besides that, it's really calm and laid back!"

Hugo didn't answer. Varian noticed his mind to be other places.

"Hugo?" he asked.

"Hm? Oh! Sorry Var! I uh, heh. It sounds better then anything I've had to call home."

"Right." said Varian. Hugo was being strangely quiet.

"You okay Hugo?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! It's just, I didn't expect your dad to be so BIG."

Varian snorted and laughed. "You think he's big, wait till you see my house. Oh! Oh! I have to show you my lab! I built to be state of the art and fully functioning! And I don't want to brag, but I have some of the best technology in this part of the Seven Kingdoms there."

Hugo stopped in his tracks. Varian stopped too and looks at him worriedly. Hugo looked down at the ground and rubbed his arm. "Varian?" said Hugo quietly.

"Yeah bud?"

"Do you think... Quirin likes me? I thought he seemed like maybe he didn't."

"What? Of course he does! I'm a hundred percent certain he has no problem with you."

Suddenly Varian's Hairstripe began to glow brightly and stick up!

"Gah! Uh, eh! Heh heh heh!" Varian frantically tried to pat down his mood ring hair. He gave Hugo a sheepish grin. Hugo looked at him with a deadpan expression.

"Yeah. I'm sure." he said sarcastically. Varian sighed and his shoulders dropped. As I said before, Varian's hairstripe had been a little different since he left. At one point in his journey, he also seemed to have acquired Moonstone powers. And with that, his hairstripe had been able to tell lies from truth. It has to do with the "Connected to Emotions" part of the magic. Eventually after a rather frightening adventure, they had figured out that somehow, a small piece of the Moonstone was inside him. And he had not yet figured out how to remove it.

"Okay. So maybe my dad was a little thrown off by you. But I don't think he really disliked you. He just has a hard time with new things sometimes. And that includes people." Varian's hairstripe stopped glowing and fell back down. "That hair of your is a tattle tale, isn't it?" said Hugo with a smirk. Varian sighed again.

"Yeah. But look." said Varian. "I know you're nervous. That's perfectly understandable. But I'm sure that Dad will warm up to you. And besides. We got mom on our side. And she loves you. That's a big win in our favor. You'll do fine."

The stripe didn't light up this time. That seemed to give Hugo a little confidence.

"Promise?" Hugo asked.

"Promise." said Varian confidently. Hugo smiled and hugged Varian. Suddenly he looked at the estate in the distance, than at Varian. Then he bolted off!

"First one to your house wins!"

"Hey!" shouted Varian! "Looks like the old Hugo is back." he thought. And the two boys took off running toward Varian's home laughing! Hugo tried to leap over a fence. But his foot got caught and his fell flat on the ground. Varian vaulted clear over the fence and kept running. "You can't beat a country boy sucker!" he shouted back at Hugo. "I was born and raised here!"

Hugo sat up and looked toward Varian with a mischievous smile. "We'll see about that!" He shouted as he got up and took off! Varian looked over his shoulder and saw Hugo gaining! "Shoot!" said Varian! Of course, to look over one's shoulder, you have to not look forward. Varian turned back to the path and saw he was heading right for a flock of the sheep cross the the path!

"Holy Flynnolyum!"

Varian skidded to a stop right in front of the flock. The sheep all looked at him in shock. As if he'd offended their great sheep ancestors by almost plowing through them. Varian laughed breathlessly. "S-Sorry guys." he said. Suddenly Hugo ran past Varian, leapt up, grabbed a tree branch and swung clear over the flock! He land safely on the other side and ran off laughing. "Hey!" shouted Varian!

"We'll see who wins now Goggles!" shouted back Hugo! He dodged carts, trees and fences, completely leaving Varian in the dust. "I'm gonna win!" He thought. Suddenly Hugo gasped and skidded to a halt. He was stopped infront of one of the biggest houses he'd even seen. Hugo stared at it. He didn't even notice Varian catching up! Varian spotted Hugo standing frozen in awe. This was his chance! Varian ran past him and touched the front door knob! "Ha! I win!" said Varian.

"Yeah! Only because I was in shock!" laughed Hugo. "You live here?"

"Yeah! Pretty big, huh?" Varian motioned to the house with a flourish. The house, or more accurately a castle, was bigger then even some of the mansions Hugo had been in. He stared up at it. It's tallest tower seemed to reach into the sky. "You want to come in?" Hugo looked down at Varian again. The door was open and Varian was waiting for him. "Sure!" said Hugo.

"Great!" Varian walked inside. "Come on in!" Hugo walked up the front steps. He almost walked inside. But then he remembered something important. Where were the pets? Hugo looked around for them and spotted them by a nearby sheep pen. Ruddigar appeared to be scolding the puppies for chasing the sheep. Ruddigar angrily paced back and forth chittering. Then pointed at a sheep that appeared to be missing a small patch of wool from its hindquarters. Franky had a mouthful of wool in his jaws and didn't look the least bit sorry. He was wagging his tail and all smiles. Buttercup on the other hand was looking down at the ground embarrassed. And Cheese meanwhile, appeared to be having a conversation with the sheep? Perhaps apologizing to them? He was sitting on the fence whirling at three sheep. All of whom were staring at him intently and baaing now and then. Hugo stared at the scene perturbed. Then shook his head in confusion and walked through the door.

To be continued....

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ghostonly · 3 years

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How to have a good internet experience in 8 easy steps

#1 - Stop having a bad faith interpretation of every thing you read

If you think something someone said might have been something you disagree with, instead of starting an argument, ask them to clarify or ask them specific questions about what they said

You will be so surprised to find that half the people you assume are being shitty or negative just didn't phrase what they meant very well

#2 - Learn to block people

It's free, it's easy, and it will save your life. Tired of someone tagging your stuff with characters from a fandom you don't like? Don't try to control them by telling them not to, just fucking block them. Less upsetting to them, less work for you, less inflammatory, more effective.

#3 - Don't share your entire backstory with strangers on the internet

No one is entitled to your information - not your pronouns, your age, your sexuality, your location, nothing.

Share the things that you're comfortable with, but remember that the more you share, the more vulnerable you make yourself to attacks. Like, do not share your triggers in your bio. You are giving abusers and harassers a to do list. Keep that shit private for your own safety.

You can get harassed, you can get stalked, you can get doxxed. Internet safety is real and necessary and the less we care about it, the more we set up future generations to get hurt through the internet

#4 - Learn to say, "It's none of my business."

Don't understand someone's desire to use neo pronouns? None of your business. Can't understand why someone is a furry? None of your business. Curious about how someone who talks about being poor can have a Starbucks in that last selfie they posted? None of your damn business.

If you don't like certain things on your dash, unfollow or block people. If you don't understand how someone can identify a certain way or do a certain thing or like a certain thing or feel a certain way or literally anything, just remember, it's none of your business.

If you have genuine questions from a place of good faith (i.e. what inspired you to use neopronouns?/what do you pronouns mean to you?) Go for it. But if you're only asking questions to draw negative attention to someone or make them feel bad or to other them, you're just being a nosy asshole.

Minding your own business is also good for you because - and I mean this genuinely - feeling entitled and superior is fucking exhausting. I know, because I've been 20 before. You will have a way better time online if you just stop caring about shit that doesn't concern you

#5 - Learn to lurk

Lurking is frequently seen as a bad thing, like someone who's lurking is somehow being creepy. The truth is, lurking is a great way to learn. More people should do it.

For example, if you're new to a community, spend some time consuming content and information from that community without saying anything. This goes for fandoms, queer spaces, disabled spaces, cultural spaces, etc.

Nothing is worse than being in a community for years and someone popping in for the first time in their life and airing their opinions loudly and with zero respect for the space. A great example of this is that post someone made about the leather pride flag. You know the one.

(If you don't, basically, someone said that the leather pride flag is embarrassing and insulting to the queer community and has no place at pride and then got schooled by hundreds of people about how the leather pride flag is one of the oldest flags in the queer community and leather daddies and leather dykes were the people on the front lines protecting other queer people from cops back in the 80s and 90s)

So basically, learn the history of a community, research your opinions before you decide they're your opinions, and keep your ignorance to yourself until you're not ignorant anymore. Not only is this better for community spaces, you won't have 9000 notifications of people telling you to shut the fuck up

Learning to lurk to educate yourself about a space also makes actually speaking in that space a lot easier

#6 - Stop believing everything you read

I'm not talking about stupid funny stories. Believe them - it's not hurting anything to get a laugh out of something that may or may not have happened.

I'm talking about news and current events. If you hear that some celebrity did something and there are no receipts, go and find the receipts or discard it. People spread misinformation on here all the damn time. It's like a game of telephone and, unfortunately, a lot of small creators end up getting slandered and canceled because of it.

#7 - Quit wasting energy on hating random shit

Being annoyed by a certain fandom is one thing, but actively hating things that other people do just because you're not into it is such a waste of your energy. Not only are you actively putting more negativity into the world, you're wasting your own time on things that upset you.

Focus your time and energy on the things you do like and quit scrolling through Tumblr user AnimeIReallyHate7648's discourse blog. You might think it's fun, but there comes a point where hating something goes from kind of fun to actually obsessive and unhealthy for you as a person.

#8 - Unlearn purity culture

This is a big one guys. What is purity culture? It's referenced a lot, but I think a lot of you don't know what it is.

In short, purity culture is when people take many nuanced situations and try to divide them into black and white categories. There's the Good category and the Bad category. The problem is, life is not in black and white. You can't put a neat line down the middle between good and bad. This kind of thinking is extremely regressive. Ask any therapist alive and they will tell you that black and white thinking is unhealthy and often a Symptom of Something.

So, what happens is, someone sees something on the good side and spots something they think is morally objectionable in it and says, "this can't be here, it needs to go to the Bad side." (Cancel culture). The problem is, people are always on the lookout for anything wrong in the Good - constantly looking for impurities so that they can completely sanitize things and therefore be free of sin. So they will look harder and harder and harder and keep moving things to the Bad side of the line until there's basically nothing left on the Good side.

This ends up meaning that perfectly good media is canceled because every character in it didn't make the perfect, right choice every time. It damages media in that it demands characters be completely flawless - something no human is. When a character does something that's actually problematic, even if the media doesn't condone the behavior, instead of engaging with it and using it as an opportunity to learn and teach other people why that wasn't okay, people who subscribe to purity culture throw the baby out with the bathwater, saying the entire piece of media should be canceled because its creators support the problematic action of that character (even if they don't).

This entire line of thinking is extremely unhealthy, heavily informed by Christianity, infantilizes adults, assumes no one can distinguish fiction from reality, and promotes censorship, which has a long and sordid history.

I could go on about this at length, so if anyone wants a full post, just let me know. But the point is, purity culture is bad for community, it's bad for media, it's bad for healthy emotional and intellectual development, it's bad for interpersonal understanding and empathy, and it's bad for you.

Unlearn purity culture and you will be a happier person. If all else fails, remember step #4.

#purity culture #canceled #Tumblr #internet #Twitter #fandom #queer #lgbt #lgbt+#lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbtqia #disabled #actually disabled #actually adhd #ADHD #ghost wisdom #1k #5k #10k #20k #30k #50k

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the-lone-witch-and-secret-room · 3 years

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Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)

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fortheloveofexy · 2 years

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What advice would you give to beginner artists/those trying to get back into art about resources or techniques? Specifically figure drawing because YIKES

Oh my darling Lev, I'd be happy to tell you what I've learned!

Okay, so some of this advice is going to be especially geared towards digital art, but the first thing I will say right now is that traditional art is great for learning the fundamentals. If you're completely new to art, I would recommend starting with traditional first.

Traditional is especially good for figure drawing bc you can work with really fast, loose shapes. I like to do timed sketches, where I spend 15 minutes drawing a figure in pencil or charcoal and try to get as much form in as I can. The goal is to work light and quick; don't get caught up in the details or erasing mistakes, just get the basic shape down. Do this regularly, at least once a week. You'll be amazed at how much you improve.

But, whichever medium you choose, here is some general advice:

Use references. I cannot stress this enough; references are essential for nearly every artist. Do not shy away from using them because you think it might make your work "less original". Most, if not all, professional artists use references in some form. It saves time, it saves your wrist, and it still hones your skills. Do not suffer needlessly drawing every single thing from memory when you can use a reference.

On that note - tracing is not a bad word. Tracing, outside of the art world, has a terrible reputation, and this is because it is often abused by people who don't know how to use it properly. Tracing can be a great way to improve your skills, save you time and save your wrist, provided you do it correctly.

A few tips for how to use tracing the right way - don't trace another artist's work. Trace stock images or photos you have taken instead.

Also, don't trace an image line-for-line exactly - instead, loosely sketch over the image you are tracing, mapping out general shapes and form, then draw in your own lines without the reference image and make any adjustments and changes. This way you're still improving your skills and your understanding of proportion/perspective, and the drawing will look more natural. Badly done tracings are very obvious and have a specific "look" to them that most people will be able to pick out. Well-done tracing is nigh undetectable.

Finally - while tracing is a useful and valuable way to improve, it should never function as a replacement for the fundamental skills. You still need to practice free-handing. Tracing is not a replacement for those skills - it's just another tool in your arsenal.

Even professional artists use tracing at times. Muralists, painters, even some of the most well-known artists in history used methods of tracing in their great works.

Now, for the more digital art-specific stuff:

I mostly use Procreate (which is only a $10 one-time fee on the app store) but that requires having an iPad and Apple Pen. So here are some alternatives:

Wacom offers drawing tablets that are less than $100 and come with a 2-year Clip Studio Paint subscription - a well known program that many artists use and some even prefer to Procreate. You can use Wacom tablets with basically any PC.

Krita is a free drawing program that also works well. It's a bit more simplistic than CSP and Procreate from what I've heard but it's a create way to get started with digital art if you've never tried it before.

There are literally hundreds of options out there for digital art programs to use, so I won't list them all here. But if other artists have rec's, please feel free to list them in the replies.

#asks #ask jess #art advice

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flashfuture · 4 years

Text

Let’s talk about canon Batfam things. Basically I just wanna jot down a list of batfam relationship things in canon that might make your fanworks more spicy.

As well they’re great for generating AUs because if you know how things are then you can ask, but what if?

Okay let’s get started with some relationships-

It’s pretty common knowledge that Damian and Tim don’t get along. Dick and Damian do get along. And I think a lot of people know that Damian and Steph get along

But did you know that Tim was the first one to reach out to Damian? That even now after years of mental and physical abuse Tim would die for his baby brother and mourned his death so heavily he hallucinated him.

Dick and Damian do not have a perfect relationship. Dick has knocked Damian flat on his ass before when he’s getting out of line. Dick does not have endless patience and no one tests patience like Damian.

Duke has never once been afraid of Damian and they hang out sometimes

Jason and Damian don’t really know each other that well. Jason rarely is in Gotham and he’s tried to reach out to Damian but the boy is rude and Jason doesn’t have time for that. Still Jason would do anything for his brother and probably vice versa.

Jason and Tim on the other hand is an interesting one. Started from the bottom and now we here type of deal. We all know Jason tried to kill Tim and was angry as hell. But currently Tim is Jason’s favorite sibling. They get along well and seem to hang out every once and awhile. Jason couldn’t even bring himself to go to Tim’s funeral. Not that he was really dead of course.

Another thing in fanfiction is that everyone is equally loved or Cass is the favorite (she deserves it). But in the comics it’s pretty much non negotiable- Dick is Bruce’s favorite kid.

Important to note about Dick and Bruce which might give more insight to their relationship and why it’s so much stronger. They are not just father and son. They’re also brothers and friends. Many people including Clark have said no one knows Bruce like Dick does. The way Bruce and Dick act is not comparable to the way the others interact with Bruce and he interacts with them.

Dick is adopted by Bruce. He was adopted as an adult in the early 2000s. There are lots of in universe reasons given for this. Important to note that the real reason is back in 1940 a single male was not adopting a kid he had no blood relation to. Bruce had to fight tooth and nail to get guardianship and even had that questioned once or twice. But of course from this point in time twenty years ago Bruce could have adopted Dick but to keep the stories the same and stuff they have to make up reasons to why he didn’t.

When Jason was introduced Dick was angry. He was jealous. And he was hurt that his dad replaced him. Dick told Jason to call him if he needed help and gave him an old costume. They weren’t brothers in the sense that Dick was spending weekends at home. Remember this is when Bruce and Dick were on the outs. They get along better now in post rebirth but there is a bit of tension with Dick faking his death.

Another interesting point. Dick and Cass do not get along in the comics. Dick doesn’t trust Cass and she is tired of being judged by him. They don’t interact often and Dick wants nothing to do with her. I haven’t really seen them talk post Flashpoint so I have no idea what’s up with that. But they basically erased Cass from the Batfam in New 52 so whatever make up what you will I don’t want her erased.

Steph isn’t really a batkid she’s more like a bat-in law between Tim and the very popular I hope it’s canon soon StephCass ship.

Babs is also not a batkid. She works with the Batfam but her main squad is the Birds of Prey.

Anyways feel free to add anything. I just think these could be fun points in fanfiction to address. Basically a lot of Batfam fics I read have everyone getting along with no biases but like you have your favorites and that’s normal. Parents shouldn’t say who their favorites are obviously but humans latch onto some tighter than others. Siblings do the same. But also I like reading about non abusive batdad so what are ya gonna do.

Edit: When I say batkid I mean one of Bruce’s kids. Not a member of team Batman. Just want to clarify. Steph and Babs are obviously very important to the Batman/Gotham Team Roster.

Edit 2: For Jason I mean anything Post Flashpoint really. Post Crisis Jason was a mess and he had his reasons but he really was just out for blood.

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sleeping-on-cracking-ice · 4 years

Note

pls do part two of “you're everything you once hated” 🥺

Alright! I originally wasn’t going to do a Part 2 of this but a few people have asked so here you go! 😙

You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi

PART 1 | PART 2

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

{Main Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC, Ann, Tatta, Hatter, Kuina)

Summary: You attempt to escape Niragi to replenish your visa by yourself, but he catches you and makes sure you won’t do it again

Warnings: (okay here we go) blood, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, obsessive themes, suggestive themes, graphic violence/torture, needles, being held hostage, deranged behaviour, reader is traumatised, implications of a panic attack, dehumanisation (kind of?), mention of amputation, mention of suicide, guns, knives, reader sees a corpse, minor character death

Word Count: 4.6k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: this is quite heavy and messed up, so I recommend people under 15 don’t read this

The young man leant against the large building, holding a small rose in his sweaty palms as he waited for you to arrive from your after school class. He winced as the thorns slightly caught on his olive skin. He sighed and craned his neck back to rest on the wall behind him. No matter how much he attempted to distract himself, the rate his heart was beating kept bringing the nausea to his stomach.

The sky was painted a soft mix of orange and pink as the sun began to fall asleep below the horizon. Valentine’s Day couldn’t have created a more romantic atmosphere for Niragi, he couldn’t mess it up now or he would let cupid down himself.

“What the hell am I even doing?” he questioned himself, wiping his brow with the back of his wrist. “She probably doesn’t even see me this way. We’ve been best friends for years, if she felt something she would’ve told me by now, right?”

He was stressing himself out, continuing the doubt whether his idea was good or not. He was considering dropping the rose and just walking away, being too afraid of the reality that he had been in love with you for years and had never been able to voice it. He felt embarrassed about himself, making his head fill with insecurities and doubts.

His phone vibrating in his pocket pulled him from his thoughts. Niragi reached into his blazer and pulled out his device, noticing a text from you.

‘I’m on my way,’ it read.

He heard your footsteps around the corner and straightened himself up, letting out a sigh to relieve tension. He knew there was no going back now, so he had no choice but to go ahead with his confession.

Just as he was about to turn the corner to meet you, he noticed a male voice that echoed yours, making him freeze in his tracks. He kept himself pushed against the wall, trying to listen to what you were saying.

“I mean, movies are cheap at the moment. Do you want to go see one together?” Niragi heard the boy say. His heart sank at the males words and his hand holding the rose fell from his chest to drooping towards the ground.

Your voice, that was all too familiar to Niragi, answered him. “Sure! I’m busy this afternoon, but I’m free this weekend on Saturday.”

Saturday. Niragi frowned. You and him always went to the park together every Saturday to have a picnic together. You wouldn’t forget about that, would you?

His disappointment turned into anger suddenly. The exhilarating emotions filled his mind and heart so quickly, it took him off guard. As his hand twitched slightly, he shook his head to remove the thoughts from his head.

“Okay, I’ll send you a text later to talk about times and stuff,” the boy said. Niragi’s curiosity got the best of him and he peeked his head around the side of the building to catch a glance of who you were with. He wished he didn’t.

It was one of the young kids that picked on him in Science class, which you weren’t in. Niragi felt betrayed, but tried to reassure himself that you just didn’t know what this guy was really like.

“Bye Y/N,” the boy muttered shyly, making Niragi fume at his fake behaviour. ‘He obviously is just trying to get in her pants,’ Niragi thought to himself, jaw clenching in annoyance at your blindness.

The boy leaned close to you and left a soft kiss on your forehead making you smile and wave happily as he walked away. As soon as he disappeared up the stairs a few metres up, Niragi leant back so you couldn’t see him.

He felt tears building in his eyes, so he quickly wiped them away before you found him. He jumped as he saw you turn the corner, hiding the rose he held behind his back.

“Hey Niragi!” you exclaimed, having the same gorgeous smile that you always conveyed around him. Usually the small action would make him melt into the ground. But at that moment, he didn’t think anything you did could make him feel better.

“You okay?” you asked, leaning close to his face with your eyebrows raised. His heart beat picked up, noticing how your lips were only a few inches away from his. He turned his face to the side, hiding his blush. “Yeah, I’m just tired,” he lied through his teeth.

As he kept up his innocent façade, small droplets of blood slowly drizzled down his wrist from the tight fist enveloping the thorned rose. His confined anger flowed through the blood that spilled from the cuts in his palm, but he didn’t feel a pinch of pain through his tensed muscles.

Perhaps one day, the world would give him another chance to show his love for you.

***************

You woke with a start as someone busted through the door of the room, looking around in a panic at who would enter so suddenly. Your eyes widened as you caught sight of Niragi, stumbling into the room with his usual sniper rifle slung over his shoulder.

“Sorry love, did I wake you?”

You stayed silent, sitting up properly and watching his movements closely. You didn’t trust a single thing he did or said, so you still remained on high alert whenever he was in this room alone with you, despite the fact you had been sharing the room with him for three days.

“You getting hungry? I brought some food up last night for you while you were asleep,” he said, placing his rifle on a small table. You watched as it collided with the wooden surface, flinching at the loud noise.

You hadn’t been able to leave the room since your injury. You had been shot in the foot by an overly sensitive militant woman who you weren’t even sure was still alive after the beating Niragi gave her in front of you. His behaviour during that time alone was enough to you terrified, especially the fact that it is impossible to run from him now.

But the lack of movement on your foot has proven to help and you have noticed the bullet wound healing quite well. The ointment and bandages you apply regularly on it (no help from Niragi) has been working perfectly, and you were praying for the moment you could move your stuff back to your own room and escape Niragi’s unpredictable and psychotic behaviour around you.

As if he read your mind, Niragi spoke up. “How’s your foot? Is it getting better?”

The sweet tone in his voice was so contradictory to his intentions. You hated the fact that he thought you fell for his fake façade. To be honest, he probably knew you didn’t believe him, but continued with it to keep you on your toes.

You glared at him through the top of your eyelids, keeping your head low in suspicion. As Niragi sighed from your unresponsive behaviour, he strutted over towards the bed that you were laying on. You panicked and used your arms to push yourself away from him, being terrified of his presence alone. Spending only a few days with him was enough to make you realise how despicable of a human being he actually was.

“Shh, calm down. It’s just me,” he attempted to calm you.

You froze as he sat on the bed nearby your legs. A pained expression grew on your face as he slowly lifted your injured foot to place it gently on his lap, running his hand carefully over the bandage you had applied before going to sleep.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, glancing up at you. You shook your head no, watching as he smirked slightly and turned back to it.

“I’m going to have a look at it,” he demanded, beginning to unravel the bandage on your foot.

You remained still, watching as he was unusually careful. It made your adrenaline run rapid, not knowing when he was going to suddenly snap.

As he pulled the final layer off your foot, relief filled you when you saw that it was still fine. The injury had turned into a small hole in the top of your foot, no blood or redness in sight. Maybe perhaps you could walk again soon, and be able to replenish your visa that was due to end in a few days.

Unfortunately, Niragi wasn’t as happy about this knowledge, and he intended to do something about it.

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, leaning over to the night stand and picking up a small unwashed needle that he had kept there. It was left there by Ann a few days ago, as she had to come to the room to stitch up a cut that Niragi had obtained during a game.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him holding the needle close to your bullet wound. “W-Wait, Niragi,” you stuttered, nervous about his intentions. “What are you doing?”

Niragi glanced up at you, a devilish smirk painted across his face. His expression made your stomach churn and you attempted to pull your leg from his grip. Your heart rate picked up and you began to panic when he refused to let go.

“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt much. Just... try not to scream.”

Just as you were about to protest, Niragi pinned your foot onto his lap and pushed the tip of the needle as hard as he could into your bullet wound, making you let out a silent scream and thrash in his hold.

You screamed and screamed and screamed, a horrific pain continuously shot through your foot to your leg. You swore at some point it felt like he was cutting your foot off.

“NIRAGI!” you wailed. “STOP! PLEASE!”

You begged and begged through your cries of pain. After what felt like a century, Niragi pulled the needle out of your foot slowly and placed his hand over the wound to attempt to stop the bleeding. You were now lying on your back, sobbing lightly into the sheets and given up.

You felt Niragi caress your face with the back on his hand lightly. “My little princess needs to stay here, where I can keep her safe. You can’t leave. There’s horrible monsters at The Beach and I would hate for you to fall prey to one of them.”

You felt like screaming at him. How could he be so blind, so ignorant. He was the monster, and he failed to realise it.

He placed your leg off his lap, making you let out a small cry. Niragi crawled further up the bed next to you and sat on the sheets. You were facing away from him, not even daring to turn to look at him. You could hear him unbuttoning his checkered shirt, seeing it fly over your frame and land on the floor. A shiver made its way up your spine as Niragi’s hot breath hit the nape of your neck and his warm limbs snaked around your torso. He placed his hands underneath your shirt and softly caressed the skin of your stomach whilst nipping at the skin on your neck.

“You’re so pretty. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you over these years.”

His words sounded so loving, so sweet. But your reaction was the opposite of what he wanted. A slow, sorrowful tear traveled down your face and you began shaking in his embrace in fear of having him so close. You wanted to close your eyes and wake up back home, back in your own bed with your family’s hushed conversations spread throughout the house. This wasn’t home, this was absolute hell.

“Why are you shaking? Are you cold?” your tormentor asked. He removed his hands from underneath your shirt and pulled on your shoulders to make you turn over to face him. You kept your eyes shut tight, refusing to submit to his demands.

He pulled you close once again and placed his hand on the back of your head to push your face into his bare chest. Niragi’s usual smell of blood and metal filled your nostrils, making you grimace against him.

You continued to shake, not being able to control your movements. Niragi sighed, tucking his chin on the top of your head and nuzzling into your hair, taking a breath of the all too familiar scent of the shampoo you’ve always used for your hair. How you managed to find the exact one in the Borderland was beyond his understanding.

The smell made him feel at home. The comfort he found in you was too strong for him to handle, making him become deranged at the thought of you being back in his arms. It scared him, how much he actually depended on you to keep him happy.

And while he continued to hold you close and smile happily at the feeling of your soft breath against his chest, he failed to notice the continuous flow of tears that cascaded down your face and the shaking of your hands that gripped the top of your own thighs violently, trying to realise the tension of the adrenaline in your veins.

************

You had had enough.

Niragi did nothing but put you through absolute torture and trauma no matter how much you attempted to reason with his psychotic self. Bruises littered your body from his usual violence, committing to the awful promise that he was going to make sure you couldn’t leave the room.

You were imprisoned. It felt as if you were trapped in a cage that had the easiest lock in the world to pick, only you didn’t have hands to unlock it.

So two days after the needle incident, you decided you were going to escape, even if it killed you.

You had to replenish your visa, considering it ended the next night. You feared that Niragi would just leave you to die, not caring about your visa, so you had to take it upon yourself.

You may have had an infected bullet wound and a nearly crushed spirit, but you weren’t going to let this be your end. You had to at least try.

*************

“Oi, I’m leaving now,”

You shifted your eyes from your hands resting in your lap to the tall, deranged man who stood at the door of your room. He had his usual black and white buttoned shirt on, charcoal hair tied up at the top to keep it out of his face and his relaxed hand tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans. You almost felt disappointed. How could such a handsome man be wasted by such a horrific mentality.

He carried his loaded sniper rifle in his arm, fiddling with the trigger as he awaited an answer from you.

You nodded your head and turned back to your hands, twiddling your thumbs nervously. You stayed frozen as you heard his footsteps make their way over to you.

Niragi lifted your chin with a harsh grip to your jaw and smashed his lips onto yours. You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort, feeling his desperate lips bite over yours hungrily. It made you feel sick to your stomach.

He pulled away, your lips connected by a string of saliva, making him chuckle. “I’ll be back kitten. Maybe I’ll bring you back a present,” he suggested, raising his eyebrows.

You nodded once again. You knew what he meant. Perhaps an amputated hand of one of your friends? Or the eye of a seeker/hunter to remind you of the “monsters” he’s hiding you from? At this point, you were desensitised to it.

The feeling on his lips on your head brought you from your thoughts. He softly stroked his hand through your hair, tucking slightly on the ends, making you wince.

“Stay here, and don’t answer the door if someone knocks.”

And with that, he left. You stayed completely still for a few minutes, waiting in case he decided to come back just to torment you further.

After you were sure he was completely gone, you shifted to the edge of the bed and swung your legs over the edge to stand up. You had practised walking around the room on your injured foot for the past few days when Niragi wasn’t there, so you had grown used to the random aches that shot up your leg from your bullet wound while walking.

You waddled to the door, slowly swinging it open and grabbing the small knife that sat on the table nearby. You had to have some kind of weapon in case something was to happen.

As you stepped outside, a few people were still making their way down the halls towards the lobby. You noticed a young man that you had somewhat befriended when you first arrived at The Beach named Tatta. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you, a smile growing on his face.

“Y/N! Where have you been?!” he exclaimed excitedly, running to you and throwing his arms around you in a playful embrace. You grimaced at his loud voice, being afraid of a certain someone potentially hearing him say your name.

“Hey Tatta,” you said back, giving him a right hug. You swore you felt like you could’ve cried in his arms from how deprived you were from normal human interaction without the fear of being assaulted.

“Are you coming to the games tonight?” he asked, pulling back from the hug and keeping a hand on your shoulder. You nodded. “Can I stick with you?” you asked with hope in your eyes. Tatta smiled and hit your arm lightly. “Of course! I’d feel better going with someone I knew.”

You agreed and began walking down the hall towards the lobby together in a comfortable. Tatta failed to notice you being more cautious, checking around corners before you turned and whipping your head around to glance behind you every now and then.

************

Just your luck, a ten of spades. You swore the world just wanted you dead. At that point, you had become used to the never-ending bullshit that was thrown your way.

You clawed your way to the table that held the card. Holding the single piece of cardboard between your fingers had never felt more satisfying. You slid down against the wall near the registration area, limbs shaking from the muscle strain you faced during the game. Tatta knelt in front of you, rubbing your knee in an attempt to comfort you, but nothing he could do would make you feel better.

Back at The Beach, you sat in the lobby on one of the leather couches, rubbing your foot to try and ease the aching pain coming from your wound. You had heard when you arrived back that the executives had called a meeting, so you weren’t too worried about running into Niragi.

You closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your head back to rest against the couch. Moments like that were complete bliss. For a moment, you were able to forget your current situation.

A sudden hand on your shoulder ripped you from your meditation, and you turned your head to see none other than Kuina with a red face and heavily breathing from running. “Hey Y/N,” she started. You sat up and turned around fully to face you.

“The executives want you in the meeting. They heard you collected a high number card and they need you to deliver it.”

Your heart dropped at her words, realising what was coming for you. You had to walk into that meeting room, where Niragi stood. He was going to find out about your little adventure you had without him knowing. Adrenaline filled your senses from the thought of what he was going to do to you.

You slowly stood up, wiping your sweaty hands on your shorts and checking your card was still in the front pocket. You gulped heavily and nodded to Kuina. “Okay, I’ll head there now.”

Every step towards the meeting room was another towards hell. The more stairs you climbed, the more nausea filled your stomach, the more thoughts filled your head. You were seriously just considering throwing yourself off the roof of the hotel, as that seemed like a better option than facing Niragi.

You arrived in front of the double doors, freezing in your path. You don’t know how long you stood there, sighing shakily and attempting to crack your knuckles to relieve tension. But still, as you lifted your hand to push on the large wooden door, your arm shook like a leaf.

You trudged in, hearing the room fall silent at your entry. You refused to look up from the ground, keeping your widened eyes locked to the carpeted ground until you reached the end of the table.

“Ah, Y/N. Finally! Care to show your card?” you heard Hatter ask. You glanced up and caught sight of all the executives gathered around the table on chairs. One of which was of course Niragi.

You locked eyes with the psychotic man, and your stomach dropped when you saw the scowl on his face. He was staring directly into your soul, eyes hardened with anger and unforgiveness. If looks could kill, you would’ve been on the floor dead before you even made it to the table.

You focused on the task at hand and pulled the card from your pocket, placing the somewhat damaged ten of spades on the table. Hatter reached over and held it close to his face to examine it as everyone watched. Well, everyone except Niragi, who held his piercing gaze on you. You swore you could feel him burning holes through your skin.

“Hmm,” Hatter hummed in approval. “Thank you very much Y/N, that will be all,” he said, making a shooing movement towards you.

You nodded and thanked him before quickly walking out of the room. As soon as you stepped out, you broke into a sprint towards you and Niragi’s shared room.

You had to leave the room before the meeting finished. You feared the absolute worse.

When you arrived at the room, you ripped open the door and scrambled inside, groaning at the pain your foot was in. You didn’t have a choice, you had to hurry.

You made your way to the large closet, immediately reaching for the top shelf to pull down the miniature machine gun that Niragi stored up there as a spare. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to know about it, but you managed to spot him tucking it underneath the clothes at some point.

As you were shuffling around the cupboard trying to find some bullets desperately, annoyed and stressed sighs and gasps leaving your mouth, you froze when the sound of the door opening hit your ears. Immediately assuming the worst, you grabbed the door of the cupboard and closed yourself inside, attempting to enveloped yourself in the piles of clothes and resources.

The keyhole in the door of the cupboard allowed you to have a small space to look through. You closed one eye and glanced through the hole, spotting Niragi placing his sniper rifle on the bed and untying his hair, running his hands through it in stress.

You didn’t dare even breath, keeping all your limbs tucked close so you didn’t knock over anything. You were so afraid that Niragi would even hear the sound of your heart beating, as it was as loud as a drum in your own ears.

You grimaced as a sudden putrid smell filled your nose. The smell of fresh flesh that you were all too familiar with from living in the Borderland. You turned around in the cupboard and moved to the side so the light of the keyhole would at least somewhat illuminate the small space. The sight in front of you was enough to make you throw up.

There sat Tatta (or at least, Tatta’s remains), empty eyed and leaning against the back of the cupboard. Bullet holes littered his once kind face, probably counting eight at least. You covered your mouth in horror, letting out a loud cry at the sight, pushing your legs against the ground to scramble away from your dead friend.

Once again, just like the other day during the needle incident, you screamed and screamed and screamed. You fell backwards out of the closet, curling into a small ball and screeching into your palm in horror at the now clearer sight of your friend’s corpse.

Everything was crumbling around you. Your voice was being ripped to shreds at the back of your throat. Your mind was falling apart, not being able to handle the traumatising events that you’ve faced, breaking and tearing itself apart. Your body was broken. Bruises and scars scattered your frame like an artwork, each one holding a connected traumatic event.

Niragi sat on the bed, watching as you screamed on the ground over by the corner of the room, tears sliding down his tanned cheeks.

What had happened to you? Why did you change so much in these few years?

Niragi slowly stood and made his way over to your shaking frame, hooking his arms underneath your shoulders and knees to lift you bridle style. He smiled sadly down at your shivering frame, not being able to control your rapid movements.

“Aw baby, you’re a mess,” he cried, a sob escaping his mouth halfway through his sentence.

He brought you back over to the bed, crawling on his knees to the centre of the mattress and crossing his legs to lay you in his lap with your head tucked into the crook of his elbow.

He brushed your hair with his fingers, trying to ease your breathing as you kept your eyes tightly shut in fear. “I tried to warn you. Look what happened,” he chuckled through his tears, motioning his head over towards the cupboard. “Do you like your present? I saw you walking with him on your way back to the hotel and thought it would be perfect. Why don’t you like it?”

You opened your eyes and looked up at him with fear all written all over your face. You didn’t dare move from his embrace, being too afraid.

Niragi smiled as he caught sight of your glistening eyes, reaching a hand up and stroking his thumb along your cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he breathed out, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

You brought your shaking hands up and rubbed your face before finally speaking up. “I want to go home,” you desperately whispered, turning your head and pressing your face against Niragi’s clothed chest. He watched as you brought your hand up and gripped the material of his shirt in your fist tightly, conveying anger and stress through your grip.

“You are home kitten,” he states, rubbing his cheek against your head. “I’m your home. I always have been.”

He wasn’t lying to you, and that was the pill that was hard to swallow. Niragi had been your source of comfort for so long, and for once in your life, it felt foreign to lay in his arms and to look into his night eyes.

Oh how weird it felt to look at something that conveyed such sweetness, such delicacy and such empathy, only for it to be utterly ruined by its environment.

You’d like to think that it wasn’t either of your faults. But in the end, it doesn’t depend on the environment, it depends on how you react to it.

Neither of you were perfect, but you were both incredibly different. It never would’ve worked between the two of you, and being in the Borderland did nothing but strengthen that fact. In the end, your differences would either tear you apart from each other emotionally, or you would tear each other apart limb from limb.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I’m back to finishing off the fanfic requests that have been sent to me because I finished all the prompt scenarios. I won’t be doing another part to this because I honestly struggled for so long trying to figure out a plot for this one 😭 But anyway thanks so much for your patience. I’ll be uploading these fanfics as quick as I can! ❤❤

Small addition to this fanfic talking about Niragi’s motives and intentions

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland one shots #alice in borderland scenarios #alice in borderland x reader #aib #aib imagines #aib imagine #aib one shots #aib scenarios #aib x reader #niragi #suguru niragi #niragi imagines #niragi imagine #niragi one shots #niragi scenarios #niragi x reader

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 3 years

Text

A Bad Option for Close Quarters

PART OF THE VIPER & THE WILD THING COLLECTION

A/N: Hey there, Prince Oberyn party people! Before we get started in this one, I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone for all the encouragement and kind things that you had to say after I posted the first part of this collection. I was and still am nervous to take on Oberyn, so reading the comments that you left really made me feel less nervous. You are Great!!

A/N 2: And now I have to talk about serious stuff- this part does have some sensitive material in it that may be difficult for some to read. I don’t normally put big red warning stickers on my work, but this one feels like it warrants it. Please as always read the content warnings and if you are still unsure, know that you can always send me a message to ask specifics.

Warning: language, violence, blood, injury, abuse (physical & sexual in nature) death, NO LIKE ALL THE WARNINGS APPLY. general brothel un-pleasantry.

Word Count: 4.9k

Summary: Oberyn has made it clear that you are his favorite way to pass the time while he is in King’s Landing, and you are perfectly happy with that. But not everyone is.

“‘Bout fuckin’ time.”

You heard him before you saw him, lined up a few heads behind the front of the procession of prostitutes spilling into the brothel’s main chamber, but there was no mistaking his rough voice or the lowborn accent he tried so hard to hide when he spoke in the presence of others. Shit. You had known him long enough to pick him out from a legion of men by sound alone. Or smell.

It was Gannon Yast, a foot soldier in the Lannister army who had saved up his coins for years to purchase his surname from a forger on the black market. Like you, he had been born on the streets of King’s Landing, and like you, he was just another drop in the bay, another bastard bearing the name Waters. But unlike you who knew what you were, Gannon had always been subject to outlandish fantasies and truly believed the lies he told about himself and his upbringing. He had been spinning them in his own mind for so long that by now there was surely an elaborate tapestry depicting the lineage of a House that had never existed.

House Yast. The very thought made you roll your eyes. His sigil could be the pot he bought himself to piss in on a shit brown background.

The penalty for falsifying documents such as the ones that Gannon had illicitly procured ranged from execution to public flogging and time in the dungeons beneath the Red Keep. To him, imprisonment in a cell was no worse than suffering the flea bitten life his birth name chained him to. Since he wasn’t so bold as to impersonate a nobleman, he knew that he wouldn’t lose his head, and to him it was worth the gamble.

You didn’t share his viewpoint. You had heard stories, rumors, about female prisoners and the things that had been done to them at the hands of the Gold Cloaks, and while you had no idea how true they were you were not at all interested in finding out. If you were going to get fucked by Lannister guards and soldiers, you may as well be paid for it. Forged proclamation of respectable provenance wasn’t the only way out of King’s Landing, and you’d also been saving your spare coins, few and far between as they may be, for passage across the Narrow Sea and out of Westeros. Even if it would take you a lifetime to save, you would rather hoard what you could over decades than spend even one night in those dank caverns.

Unless Oberyn actually… You had done your best not to dwell on the offer he had made you to leave the city with him, to live free in the Kingdom of Dorne. He hadn’t mentioned it again though you had been with him several times since. Six. Six times in eleven days. It wasn’t as though you were the only one of Litlefinger’s whores that the Prince and his paramour came to see. The only one he chose every time though. The only one he spent an entire night with. You shook your head and followed Dria, one of the other girls who had been there nearly as long as you had, into the chamber where Gannon and two others were waiting. Even if he truly meant to make good on his offer, his departure from King’s Landing was still weeks away. Anything could happen in that much time. He could make promises to half the whores here about-

The thin curtain separating the hallway from the main reception chamber was still billowing near your ankles when you felt Gannon’s meaty hand close securely around your wrist. He yanked you straight out of line, much to the dismay of the other men in the room, the girls in front of and behind you scrambling out of the way so as not to get tripped up by your sudden departure from the lineup. Biting the inside of your cheek to hide the grimace on your face at the twisting and pinching of your skin beneath his rough fingers, you stumbled into his hold. Shit. From the corner of your eye you saw Dria sneering at you as she draped herself over the shoulder of one of the other infantry men, and you knew it was because she was bitter about how much time you’d been spending with Oberyn and Ellaria while she and the others were left to serve the lesser customers like Gannon and his acquaintances. Jealous witch.

You didn’t have the chance to sling a glare back at her, Gannon spinning you around to catch your chin in his free hand, the other releasing your wrist to grab at your ass. Squeezing both to the point of pain, you let out a small muffled sound as he brought your face close to his own.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t that fuck-drunk prince’s prized little cunt.” His breath reeked of stale ale and whatever the slop stalls were serving up in their brown bowls that week, his clothes and hair soaked in the bodily stench of a soldier who had been away for long months. He drew his lips into a vicious grin, continuing to grope your flesh through the gauzy sash that barely covered you. The stark contrast between his touch and Oberyn’s made your skin crawl and your stomach turn. You knew that the next time you saw the Prince you’d likely be riddled in bruises and marks left behind by Gannon’s greedy grip and forceful fingers. What will he think of that?

Your mind provided a quick answer, the way he had looked at you when you told him how you ended up working as a whore in King’s Landing flashing in your memory, his eyes filling with pain, anger and dark fire. He won’t like it. At all.

Dria’s shrill laughter met your ear as the man she’d been pawing at picked her up and brought her into one of the private pleasure chambers, the door slamming behind them. The third man in the room seemed happy enough where he was, two of the remaining girls already stripping each other of their sashes and teasing him with the perfumed fabric. Those unselected by the men were already shuffling back down the hall, waiting to be called when the next batch of customers arrived. You longed to join them even if it meant forgoing pay for the afternoon, but wishful thinking wouldn’t get you out of this.

Nothing could.

You’d been anticipating this encounter since you caught word that the Lannisters were bolstering security around the city leading up to the Royal Wedding. You knew that meant low ranking soldiers like Gannon would be flooding the inns and brothels. The fact that Oberyn had been monopolizing you, keeping you from giving Gannon the homecoming he clearly thought he was entitled to only exacerbated the man’s jealous anger, his lack of patience, his belief that he was owed things from you and your body.

The man who was currently claiming as much of you as his fingers and thumbs could fit between them broke through your thoughts, continuing to snarl his displeasure over your recent unavailability. “You had me settle for scraps while you fucked that southern shit,” he snarled, spit flying from his lips to land on your cheek. “Every time I came looking for this,” the hand that had been squeezing your ass slipped between your legs as though you of all people needed him to explain why he was in a brothel. You winced, every last fiber of your being trying to recoil from him and finding nowhere to go. “Every fucking time, you were in that room bouncing on that peacock’s prick.” He turned you roughly towards the room that you had utilized several times with Oberyn on his visits and shoved you towards it. “I could hear you in there. You made me fuck scraps while I listened to that and-”

“I didn’t make you fuck anything, Gannon.” Knowing that you were only making him angrier in your struggle didn’t stop you, and even though he was twice your strength you did what you could to resist the way that he was steering you into the private chamber. “It isn’t my fault that you have to buy time in bed with a woman because no one who wasn’t forced to fuck you ever would.” You bit your words at him only because his flesh was too far from your teeth. “It isn’t my fault that-”

He timed his backhand with the slamming of the door that he had just pushed you through, releasing his grip and driving the knuckles of his right hand across your face so that you fell hard to the stone floor. Your knees and palms made blunt contact and you knew that as soon as the white hot ache tearing through your skull subsided, pain would erupt over those areas too. Fuck. Letting out a small groan, you tried to crawl away if only just to turn back towards him to see the next blow coming, one scuffed and scraped palm coming up to your already swelling cheek. You could feel warm blood pooling in the shallow cut there, saw a drop fall to the floor as you inched yourself closer to the wall, and though you knew it was likely that he would hit you again, while your body throbbed with the raw, abusive way he was handling you, you didn’t regret saying what you did.

Gannon Waters was a pile of shit in the gutter, and no forger could change that no matter how fancy the calligraphy on the falsified lineage documents looked. He was foul and filthy and that had nothing to do with which surname he paid for. He was a rotten being and it had nothing to do with where he was born or how many golden coins he could rub together, and suddenly you couldn’t bear to keep those opinions from leaping from your tongue. Not when you’d seen and known better men well before you ever even met Oberyn. The men you served were not always like Gannon, seeking only to assert dominance and demean the unlucky prostitute who didn't feel quite as unlucky until he put his hands on them. Not all of them were despicable and suddenly you had reached a threshold for what you were willing to accept without at least letting loose your venomous feelings, consequences be damned.

Before you could get too far though, you felt his tight grip wrap around your ankle to yank you back towards him, your knees both hitting the floor again as he did. You let out another involuntary cry, trying in vain to kick free of his grasp, aiming for his chin if at all possible. He thwarted your attempts with another hard pull, dragging you closer so that he could hold himself above you, trapping you between his limbs with one hand pressed firmly over your mouth. “You’re going to regret the day you turned me down, you little cunt.” He seethed as he tore at the sash that somehow still covered your lower half as he dropped his heavy weight on you, the hilt of the sword he still wore and the buckle of his belt scraping at your skin to leave indents. “You could have been my wife, could have had a name, but you wanted to be whore, and I am going to make you regret that choice no matter how many times you fuck that Dornish dog. I’m going to make you regret that until the day that you die, do you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

It was Oberyn’s voice that you heard next, and at first you thought it was just a trick that your mind was playing on you, dizzy from the strike and the fall, wishful thoughts sweeping in to carry you away from consciousness. What? How is..?

The dangerous vibration in Gannon’s voice, the unhinged way that his eyes were twitching, the crushing grip he had on you, all of it made your world shrink to just those things, just what you could see and feel and hear. Which meant that you hadn’t noticed the door bursting open, hadn’t heard the shouts or the hurried footsteps of two figures as they rushed inside, hadn’t fully registered what was happening as Gannon was hoisted off of you and slammed into the hardwood table that stood in the center of the room. Someone was pulling you to your feet, wrapping a pair of warm arms around you, murmuring your name and pleading with you to look at them.

Shaking in shock, you managed to turn your head and focus your eyes, blinking them furiously to force the room to stop spinning. Ellaria? As soon as you recognized the woman you let yourself collapse into her, feeling as she let out a sigh and strengthened her hold on you to keep you on your feet. “You’re alright now.” She spoke softly in your ear as she led you closer to the small table beside the bed where a wash bin and cloth had been set out. “Come here.” Without letting go of you, she reached for the white cloth and dipped it in the cool water before bringing it up to your cheek, the soothing relief of the soft fabric instant as she gently pressed it there. She continued to hush and soothe you, letting you lean into her, and more quickly than you would have thought possible you felt your breathing return to normal, the adrenaline still pounding behind your eyeballs, but allowing you to make sense of what was happening at least.

Oberyn and Ellaria… they must have come in just after… and then they-

“I heard you,” Oberyn growled at the man again as he used his agility to duck Gannon’s reactionary swing, slamming him into the table’s surface once more. Using the momentary disorientation, Oberyn disarmed the man before Gannon could fully unsheath his long sword, simultaneously forcing the man into a seated position in one of the chairs that hadn’t gotten knocked to the ground in the fray. “Now tell me why I should let you live.” He moved one hand to the back of Gannon’s neck and pressed hard until the man began to choke out, gasping and gesturing to the Lannister crest emblazoned on the leather chestpiece he wore, and Oberyn released his grip enough to lean back and glance down at the embroidered lions, a look of mock appraisal pulling his handsome features into a cruel mask. “A soldier? Is that what you are trying to say? That I should let you live because you are a soldier?” He scoffed, shaking his head as he tossed the sword aside. “No, no, no,” Oberyn chided, the skin over the knuckles of his left hand stretched tight over the other man’s neck as Gannon fought to free himself from the Red Viper’s hold. “You are not a soldier.”

The dented steel clattered noisily against the stone floor, skidding halfway across the room to where you and Ellaria stood, the woman stopping its momentum by placing the sole of her sandal atop the flat width of the blade. She still had one arm around your waist, the opposite hand still covering yours to help you keep the cool cloth pressed to your bloodied cheek. Eyes never leaving Oberyn, she turned only enough to whisper into your ear. “He’s going to make that swine pay for what he did to you,” she told you, leaving a comforting kiss on your uninjured cheek. “I promise.”

You didn’t doubt it. Ignoring the ache, your upper lip curled as you eyed the man who struck you. “Good.” From the corner of your eye you saw Ellaria’s mouth lift into a grin at your response while Oberyn shifted his grip from behind Gannon’s head to one of his wrists, forcing his fingers to splay open atop the carved wood.

“You are not a soldier,” the Prince went on, “I am sure of this because a soldier would know better than to draw his longsword in such close quarters. No, I don’t think Lannisters have soldiers. That word implies training. Dedication. Skill.” Leaning closer, he paused to allow his voice to fill with disdain, then looked over to where Ellaria’s foot held the weapon in place. “You are just a sack of meat with a pointy sword that is too far away to save you now.” Gannon began a string of swears then, but Oberyn didn’t let him finish it, cutting him off with a question. “Do you know why King’s Landing is such an ugly place?” He used his free hand to grab the sniveling, shaking excuse for a soldier by the jaw.

You shivered, watching his fingers dig in with enough force to leave deep bruises if not crack the bones beneath them. How are those the same hands that he- With a rough twist he forced Gannon’s face in your direction, left hand still pining the other man’s wrist to the table. The man who only moments before had been holding you down even more harshly actually had the audacity to shoot you a pleading glance, the fear in his eyes begging you to call off the attack. Fuck you, Gannon. You narrowed your eyes at him and spat blood onto the blade Oberyn had stripped him of.

Dropping his level he lined himself up directly beside the coward. Releasing the man’s chin as roughly as he’d grabbed it, he turned in your direction. You saw a quick flash of pain in his eyes as he looked at you, and though it was gone before you were truly sure it was there, you felt it in your chest. Oh, Oberyn, it’s… I’m alright.

As though he could hear your thoughts, he blinked and the remnants of the flash were gone, replaced with renewed anger. He swiveled his head to face Gannon once more. “Because worthless fucking shits like you destroy all the beautiful things.” With lightning speed he reached for the short dagger hanging from his own belt to unsheath it and dragged it across the tabletop. Gannon’s chair shifted as he tried in a desperate panic to distance himself from the glinting edge of the razor sharp weapon, the rounded legs scraping the stone floor as Oberyn brought the crooked dagger to hover over the man’s pinky finger. “Do you know what we do to men like you in Dorne?” He rested the edge of the dagger between the top and middle knuckles of Gannon’s last two digits, a thin crimson line appearing beneath the blade before it had even had the chance to bite into the skin there.

“Oberyn, wait.” You called out his name, raising the hand you’d been clutching onto Ellaria’s forearm with to stop him from removing Gannon’s fingers. His forehead creased in confusion, the woman beside you drawing a breath to protest your seemingly merciful request. But you only waited long enough for a spark of relief to flicker in Gannon’s eyes, your own burning with hate- for Gannon and men like him- and that flicker fizzled to nothing as he realized that you had no plans to grant him mercy. “It was the other hand that he struck me with.”

Flashing a grin as quick as the blade he held, Oberyn switched Gannon’s hands so that it was his dominant one to take the punishment, and in a testament of just how sharp the Red Viper of Dorne kept his knives, removed the top portion of the man’s four fingers with almost no pressure needed, the detached parts rolling over the table, no longer a piece of the man’s body, now just bits of waste. Gannon let out a nearly inhuman howl of pain as he keeled over onto the floor in a bloody heap, clutching the gushing stumps above his knuckles that used to be fingers. Though you had never had a digit cut off and couldn’t begin to guess at how it would feel, the sounds coming from the man were twisted, inverted almost, turning into a shriek, his face contorted as though he was being consumed in flames you couldn’t see. Finally, writhing his way to his feet, Gannon scrambled from the room, his screams still audible even as he fled the brothel.

You hadn’t even realized that you’d stepped away from Ellaria, not until you were reaching for the handle of the dagger that Oberyn had released once he’d finished carrying out the sentence he had passed on Gannon. But before you could close your fingers around the hilt, you felt and then saw Oberyn’s hands coming from behind you to cover yours, stopping you. Pressing your hands into your own stomach, he pulled you back gently but urgently into his chest, his lips immediately finding a home behind your ear where he kissed your name. “You’re safe.” His breath hit your skin in a wave as he slowly turned you in his arms to look you over. Satisfied that you hadn’t been more seriously injured than you were, he relaxed but only slightly.

Sticking one hand out wordlessly behind himself, he waited for Ellaria to pass him the cloth she had been using to clean your cheek, his eyes glued to your face as he brought the cloth there, dabbing so feather light that you hardly felt a thing. You did feel the weight in his eyes as he looked at you though, and you could tell that what he and his paramour had walked in on had shaken him. Just as your lips parted, intending to whisper his name, his eyebrows came together, a crease forming between them to turn his expression even more grave and it silenced you. Cradling your face between his large palms, he kept you framed between his bent forearms as he spoke. “You must never touch one of my blades unless I place it in your hand, do you understand?”

Sucking in a breath, your eyes widened as they flicked back to the blade where it still sat atop the table. You had heard the rumors about the poisons that the Dornish Prince coated his weapons with, and as the sunlight filtered through the window, you saw it shining a dark sickly green color and everything fell into place. That was why he was in so much pain, that’s… he- You looked back at Oberyn then, your chest heaving as you wrapped your head around everything. “You… poisoned him?”

“He deserved worse.” You watched his nostrils flare, something fiery roaring to life in his eyes. “For what he did to you, he deserves-”

“Will he die?” You asked without flinching, without your voice wavering, giving him no reason to believe that you were off put by how he had handled Gannon.

His upper lip curled slightly as he answered, his voice dropping lower. “Not right away.” You inhaled a breath through your nose. He will, then. You caught what he wasn’t saying, that the poison he had used was not only responsible for the increased pain sensitivity, but that it would also masquerade as infection soon enough, sickening the man well beyond the point of saving before he’d even shown signs of illness.

“Good.” You narrowed your eyes to add emphasis, wanting him to know that you were entirely supportive of the fate he’d subjected Gannon to. He did it to himself.

Oberyn tilted his head to one side as Ellaria stepped around to take the cloth back from him, the pair of them existing in such harmony with each other that they didn’t even need to communicate verbally. She laid her hand on his arm, moving closer to press her lips to his bicep, kissing him through his robe. Though she didn’t even make contact with his skin, the action was so intimate that their connection was almost tangible. They’re so… Despite the pain you were still in and the shock that still coursed through your veins, the pure beauty in the way that they loved one another wasn’t lost on you. Most people would never have even a fraction of what they gave each other, what they allowed one another to have, what they encouraged each other to experience. You knew that no matter how long you would be involved in their lives, even if you did end up going back to Dorne with them, there was nothing that you or anyone could do to come between Oberyn and Ellaria. It was gorgeous, the way that they respected and supported each other, and you knew that most people wouldn’t understand it, but that didn’t matter to you, or to them.

Ellaria leaned over to tuck a piece of your hair out of your eyes, sweeping her fingertips over your swollen cheek. “This will fade, I promise.” She gave you a smile then that was softer than you had a feeling she liked to appear to anyone but Oberyn, then leaned in to speak into your ear. “Let him take care of you. He… he needs to know you’re alright.” Dropping a soft peck to your eyebrow, she pulled back and gave you a minute nod, and then she was heading for the door without another glance or word.

Once it had clicked shut, Oberyn took both of your hands in his and led you slowly backwards to the bed, pausing when he felt his calves hit it to shift his grip to your waist. As he sat on the edge, he pulled you into his lap, and you let him fold you close to his body. But instead of staying there, he slid his arms beneath your legs and around your torso, moving both of you backwards towards the pillows until he had enough space to lay you down. Completely bare, the sash you’d been wearing torn in bloodied pieces on the floor, he let his eyes roam every bit of you, taking stock of the bruises and scrapes, the scratches and red marks that you’d received before he and Ellaria had come to your aid. Then, without warning, his eyes were on yours, and they were spilling over with need, but it wasn’t the same kind of need that you’d seen there before.

He needs to know you’re alright.

You heard the other woman’s words echo in your mind, and you knew that this was what she meant. Licking at your lips, you reached for his jaw, fingers grazing the deceptively soft hair that covered it, and you felt him lean into your touch, eyes closed for several beats. “I’m alright, Oberyn,” you kept your voice as even as you could, knowing that it would help convince him that while you were hurt, it could have been far worse. “I’m alright, because you and-”

“I am sorry that I could not stop him sooner.” He hadn’t waited for you to finish speaking, nor had he opened his eyes, and the way that the muscles in his throat contracted as he swallowed told you that there was more to what he was feeling than you knew.

“I...Its-” His eyes opened as you swept your thumb over his cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yes- I do.” He shook his head slightly and took your hand in both of his. Bringing it to his lips, he fit the knuckle of your middle finger between his lips, dragging it along the seam of them before kissing the very end of it. “I have my reasons,” he said, “for why I… why seeing this happening was-” he swore under his breath and swallowed again. “Something…monstrous happened to...to my sister.” You felt your heart break at the sadness in his usually vivacious tone, and you wanted to say something to comfort him, but you fought the urge, remembering what Ellaria had said. “I do not wish to talk about that with you tonight, not while you are…” He brought one hand to your abdomen, fingers finding a divot left there by the press of Gannon’s metallic sword hilt against your skin. “Not while you are in need of my care.” He carefully lowered himself to lay beside you, letting his touch travel over your body to caress each bruise, and then his lips were raking over the cut on your cheek, impossibly close but so gentle that even though the skin was raw and angry, it didn’t hurt at all. “I will tell you about her one day. I… I want you to know me, understand me. And you cannot do that without learning about her.” You wanted to know whatever he would tell you, even if hearing it would shatter your heart all over again. “But not tonight. Tonight…” he looked into your eyes then, that need still there. “Tonight, let me take care of you, my wild thing.” Though it wasn’t sexual, the burn in his desire to tend to you purely to help heal your wounds, you couldn’t help the way that your stomach flipped and your heart lurched, because that somehow made it mean even more. “I will not rest, he went on as you hummed at the sensation of the backs of his fingers trailing over the purplish marks on your arm, “until I have made my penance to every part of you that he touched.”

You fell asleep that night to his fingers in your hair, his lips resting against the crown of your head as you lay against his chest, not a single mark left untended by the Prince.

THANK YOU FOR READING! If you would like to be added to or removed from the tag list please feel free to let me know. And like I said up top: if you have any requests or ideas that you would like to see for these two, send an ask and I will see what I can do!

tags: @something-tofightfor @gollyderek @pheedraws @valkblue @alraedesigns @beefcakebarnes @persie33ik @fific7 @g0ldenlush @insiespeckagain @thisgirl-knm @writeforfandoms @paracosmenthusiast

#oberyn martell fic #oberyn martell x reader #oberyn martell x ellaria sand #oberyn martell x you #pedrostories #game of thrones fanfic #got fanfic #the red viper of dorne #oberyn martell #the viper and the wild thing #pedro pascal characters #TV&TWT #please read warnings

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volturiwolf · 3 years

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The Volturi Princess - A Felix Volturi x fem!Reader Story (part 6)

A/N: I haven't written that story for a long time now, so I hope it makes sense

A/N 2: This chapter contains mentions of sexual activities, but nothing explicit

A/N 3: Enjoy :)

No of Words: 4800+

Mentions of: Abandonment, Abortion, Anxiety, Blood, Bruises, Coma/Comatosed State, Death Emotional Abuse, Emotional and Physical Pain, Gaslighting, Greece/Greek Language - with translation, Heartbreak, Italian Language - with translation, Manipulation, Murder, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Suffering, Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts, Swear Language, Throwing Up/Puking, Witches/Wizards/Witchcraft

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

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(Y/N)'s POV

(130 years later)

The past decades had passed by quite pleasantly for me, the new century bringing many promises for the Volturi coven. After the two world wars, Italy had been transforming from a rather poor country to an unprecedented glory, becoming an economic and social power. It transformed from the glorious years of the Roman Empire and the Renaissance to the Dark Ages, to two of the most catastrophic world wars, to its current glory. Life was promising for the Italians and the Volturi as a result. More people visited the country now, which meant more food resources for the Volturi members.

The day I woke up Aro gave me a pardon and dismissed my punishment. Contrary to what had been happening until then, he started paying way more attention to me, like he used to, way before he found the Twins. He valued my powers and gave me a leading position in the Volturi Guard, as well as a ruling position in the coven, alongside him, Marcus, and Caius.

It wasn’t a position I would say I always sought after; I did consider that it could be a possibility one day, but that day came earlier than expected. I was not only in charge of the whole Guard, but I could also take important decisions for both the coven and the other vampires. It also helped that I was present in the missions, so I could take the necessary decisions when needed.

I would lie if I said I didn’t enjoy being in charge, leading the Volturi, making sure that all vampires knew they couldn’t mess with me or the Volturi. It was a different kind of power from the ones I already possessed. It was the respect I earned; I was feared and others knew they couldn’t mess up with me or the coven. I didn’t need Chelsea’s gift to stay in the Volturi - it also didn't work on me.

It was easier for me to protect Felix, as we were always together, either on missions or in the castle. Him being an Elite Guard meant that he was also present for the trials, along with Demetri and the Twins. Aro allowed me to move to the Elite Guards’ quarters, giving me a bigger room and easier access to Felix’s room. We decided to keep our separate rooms but we constantly stayed in each other’s room when there was no mission and we could spend our free time together.

Felix would regularly spend the night in my room, laying on my bed, taking care of me, and protecting me while I had to sleep. It was there that we had our first time together, a magical moment that we would both remember for the rest of our lives. Felix didn’t like to show it, but he was a hopeless romantic; he always wanted to make sure I was okay with us sleeping together, and he would constantly ask if he hurt me or if I wanted to stop.

Our first time together was simply perfect, because we were experiencing it with the person we truly loved and we both felt safe and comfortable with. We were both inexperienced, but it didn’t matter because we were together in this. I remember my heart beating so fast and my breath hitching in my throat - they were the only things we could hear at that moment.

He always kissed me lovingly and passionately, showing how much he loved me, but when we were alone together, his kisses would make me dizzy and they felt like sparkles and fireworks all together.

His skin was soft, smooth, and would sparkle against the sun rays, making my whole room sparkle, a truly amazing spectacle that Greek and Roman sculptors could only dream of creating. Our bodies fitting perfectly together, his cold skin against my hotter one, the perfect mix of warmth and coolness.

Felix was the type of lover to want to touch every part of me, as he wanted to feel every single aspect, every single part of me, and make sure I felt loved. I was so happy and in love with him, every single part of him. He was so precious and a loving mate.

Our bond was unbreakable and unique; it was easy for each other to know where the other was at any time. He knew when I needed him and I knew when he needed me.

Surprisingly, he attempted to follow an animal blood-based diet; occasionally, he would crave human blood, but I told him that for me it didn’t matter, human blood or animal blood, I would still love him with all my heart. My poor baby would actually go a few years on animal blood, to “experiment, see how it feels, how it would affect my body”, as he said.

A few months into the diet, his eyes turned golden and I couldn’t stop myself from staring at him. He was mesmerizing and I would catch myself drooling over him, his golden eyes, his chiseled face, his toned body. A true spectacle for the eyes - my eyes only, as we both reminded each other; I could be really possessive over him, and he didn’t mind at all.

The funniest thing for me was that Felix was actually determined to protect me with his life from any enemy, while I could just move my hand around and disarm or repel anyone. He forgot - or more like chose to forget - that I needed no protection and that I could actually protect both of us, or any other Volturi member.

Nevertheless, for me, he was my prince in shining armor, the only thing that truly mattered to me, the only thing that kept me in the Volturi. I was comfortable here, I was powerful, I made decisions around here, but, still, Felix was the reason I stayed.

I thought plenty of times that I could easily cast a spell on them to make them forget me like I did to my parents, and just leave. But I also knew that the Volturi were important to Felix, they were family to him. I couldn’t take him away from them, but I also couldn’t leave my friends behind - Jane, Chelsea, Demetri, Alec, Heidi, Renata, Corin, Santiago, even Afton, whom Aro never actually really liked. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them behind.

Funny thing was that now that I was in a higher and respected position in the coven, I could see that Aro had not been fighting for this position in vain all these centuries. He managed to establish and maintain the Volturi’s sovereignty for all this time. He managed to find so many talented vampires and actually make them known to the world.

If it wasn’t for Aro’s idea of the Volturi, none of us would be where we were now. Felix would die either fighting as a gladiator or paid assassin of some sort, or, if he survived and retired, of old age; Chelsea would have died at some point, in Greece, as “Charmion”, not Chelsea; Jane and Alec would have been burned at stake as witches, their talents and personalities wasted away; Demetri would probably still live with Amun; Heidi would still live with Hilda and the other coven members; Renata would either still live with Luca, or somewhere else. If it wasn’t for Aro’s plans; if he never met Sulpicia; if they didn’t have my mom; if she didn’t have me.

All these probabilities, all these possible and different scenarios and results. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was glad for Aro choosing the life he wanted to have and bringing all these different vampires together, even if it was just for his own master plan.

Even if I existed, and it wasn’t for Aro’s plan to “collect” talented vampires around him, I would have never been sent out, searching for humans who could potentially hold talents and bring them to the Volturi. I would have never found Felix, I would have never found my mate.

Despite the “stories” about how Aro was the one to find Felix, it was actually me who found him. I didn’t know at that time what that human triggered inside me and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I clearly saw the potential, his raw strength, his combat skills, his courage, and his passion; everything that made him an unexceptional fighter, everything that could make him a prominent member of the Volturi Guard.

I dared to follow him around a few times; he lived in a poor neighborhood, and he was the one to take care of his family, and the stray animals that wandered around. He loved playing with children, and telling them stories about the animals and other fighters he fought, but without all the gore details, so as not to scar them for life.

He seemed kind-hearted, and, although I didn’t want him to leave all these small moments of happiness behind, I had to meet him, talk to him, and eventually offer him to come and join the Volturi, as it was stated in the plan Aro had created, regarding the recruitment of new members.

Felix was actually the only vampire I brought to the Volturi. I walked past him one day, moving a cart with vegetables around, as he was sitting outside of his home. The only thing he saw was a weak-looking girl struggling to move a cart ten times her weight around.

He jumped in front of the cart and asked if I wanted him to help. He didn’t think that I wasn’t capable because I was a female, but because I seemed “tired and so small”, as he told me. I laughed slightly at him, and I accepted his help.

He helped me move the cart for more than 10 kilometers, until we reached the outskirts of town, having a small talk throughout this course. I’ve learned quite a few things about him, like his name, which I thought was just as beautiful as him, and I tried to be as honest with him as I could, without revealing my true identity.

“Can I see you again?” was the one question that threw me off. That was my chance, that was how I would ask him to come with me. I decided to tell him the truth. I told him what I was, and, though he didn’t believe me at first, I proved to him what I was when I lifted the cart above my head and threw it away, one hundred meters away.

He was shocked, but he did not back down. He was intrigued and amazed; I told him that I found him some time ago, and I would be pleased if he came with me to Volterra, to become a vampire and serve the Volturi, the “vampire royalty”. He was pretty confused, a hundred different questions passing through his mind - what would happen to his family if he came with me, how would they survive without him, what would happen to him if he refused.

I tried to explain everything to him as best and simply as I could. “I will be honest with you. As much as it pains me, if you do not wish to come with me, I would have to get rid of you. We cannot have humans knowing our existence. I told you all you needed to know for now, in case you did consider joining us. As for your family, we will take good care of them; you wouldn’t have to worry about them. We will send them a letter on your behalf, telling them that the Roman Army recruited you and your family will be compensated well. They will not have to worry about food or anything ever again, as long as you come with me.”

He seemed skeptical for a while, but he slowly nodded. I stretched my hand to him, which he slowly took in his and shook it in agreement. What he didn’t expect though was me pulling him towards me and actually lifting him in my arms, one hand on his lower waist and the other behind his knees. The spectacle was laughable; he was at least 30 cm taller than me, with broad shoulders, his figure seeming enormous compared to any other human.

“Hold my neck tightly, please.” I ordered him and felt his hands hugging my head, squeezing me hard, though I only felt a tiny pressure. I then jolted forwards, running at a speed faster than the average vampire. I was as worried about Felix getting cold, as I was for myself being this close to him. His blood was making it hard for me to concentrate and think clearly, and if it wasn’t for my feet moving me, I wouldn’t be able to make it back home. I had to get him back to Aro; he told me that any human found and brought back to Volterra would be transformed only by him.

It was the longest one and a half-hour of my life, my heart pounding in my chest and me trying to breathe as little as possible so I couldn’t smell his intoxicating scent. I should have known that he would be someone special to me, but I didn’t know then.

“(Y/N), are you alright, dear?” Marcus's voice brought me back to reality. I didn’t realize that Marcus found me, wandering around the gardens. “You seem lost in your thoughts, cara (dear). Are you feeling alright?” Apart from my head which was dizzy, and my stomach which was killing me the past few days, I was thinking a lot about Felix lately.

“I was just thinking about Felix. How we met, what we’ve been through, the incidents. I know it’s been a long time since then, but I can’t help these obsessive thoughts, like what would happen if I never met him. You only get one soulmate in your life. What would happen if I never found him, and he just died, as a human?”

Marcus was a mix of skeptical and melancholic. I hit a nerve I didn’t wish to. “I know things have not been easy for either of you. But, I think you’ve both been doing well since..the incidents. You've actually confessed what you both felt for each other; you have both princess and guard duties; Felix has never done better than he’s been doing since you’ve been together. Even the Guard as a whole is more organized and motivated than ever before. I think there’s something else in your mind.”

Could I truly tell him what has been clouding up my mind the last few days? Probably not. So, I decided to tell him part of the truth. “I was questioning myself about my place in the coven. I don’t mean that I don’t realize the importance of my position. I just keep wondering. What if I left? What would happen then? I don’t want to disappoint or let anyone down, but sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I stay here just because I’m obliged to stay for Felix and my friends. I feel like a hand is squeezing my throat, and I can’t breathe. I don’t know if I am myself anymore.” I felt tears falling down my face, staining my red dress, Felix’s favorite dress on me - probably the only thing he remembered from the time we were in Greece, was me wearing it when he found me.

Marcus hugged me with one hand and patted my head with the other. “Cara, you are not only important here for your powers per se, but you are important to every single one of us for just being you. Even if Aro doesn’t want to admit it, and you may think otherwise, he cares a lot about you. He doesn’t want to look weak to others, but he got very upset when you left, and then when you came back and fell into a coma. He had to punish you to set an example for everyone else, but he didn’t wish you harm. And then, you know how he is when he finds a new..“toy”, let’s say. He invested too much time in the Twins, and you may have thought that he didn’t care, but, as long as you did not declare a gift, he also wanted to make sure that you, too, would be surrounded by the most powerful vampires he could find. Don’t ask me why he never told you, you know that Aro is complicated.”

I let out a sob. “But what if I want to leave?”

“Well, you have to think about that, carefully, with a clear mind. Forget about everyone and everything. Think about yourself first, and if that is what you really want. Then, think about Felix. Can you stay away from him? Your mate bond is strong, stronger than you think. Could you stay away from that? From your only and true mate?”

My mind was as dizzy and messed up as my stomach. I couldn’t think straight, besides one specific thing. I had to know what was wrong with me, though I had an idea, which I didn’t want to believe right now. I pulled myself out of Marcus’s hug, nodded at him, and ran directly into the castle, to my room.

I quickly got changed into a light lime long-sleeved dress that ended just a few centimeters under my knees. I considered it an appropriate attire for the outside world; vampires had to follow the fashion and the trends of each era when we were out of the castle, but within the castle’s premises, we were free to dress however we liked, whether it was something more revealing or something more conservative. I grabbed my white-framed cat-eye sunglasses - which were a gift from Felix, my white Gucci bag, and left my room and the castle, trying to get unnoticed, using Afton’s gift.

I headed towards the square, with its main cafes where humans would spend most of their time. I sat down at a cafe which was the farthest away from the castle, and when the waiter arrived, I ordered “un succo d'arancia freddo” (a cold orange juice), an appropriate beverage, considering how hot the day was. I paid in advance, leaving him a rather generous tip, while I asked him if I could use the cafe’s landline phone.

He showed me the way into the cafe and I smiled at him, making him miss his step and almost tumble back. Heidi’s gift was truly convenient in moments like this. I took the phone in my hands and dialed the number I needed to call. A few minutes later, I closed the phone, thanked the waiter, and headed towards my table. I sat down and he brought me my orange juice. I chugged it down pretty quickly, leaving him a few dollars as a tip, in case he “wanted to buy anything fancy for a love interest”, and left the cafe.

I didn’t feel like going back to the castle, so I preferred to stay around for a while and walk through the city. I always loved Italy, especially Toscana and its picturesque villages that looked like they came out of a medieval fairytale. I really wished I could stay here forever, but, if my assumption came out to be true, I would have to leave as quickly as I could.

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A few days later, I was traveling down to Rome, in my deep burgundy/wine Chrysler Imperial, which Aro ordered specifically for me, all the way from the States. Traveling in style mattered more and more to the Volturi as decades passed, so we were all provided with luxury cars.

The more important you were within the coven, the more luxurious car or cars you received; although Aro, Marcus, and Caius never drove on their own - they had Renata and a few guards as extra protection for themselves. We were all expected to get new cars every few years, getting rid of the old ones once new and improved cars were available, with just a few exceptions when a car was deemed timeless.

The day was hot, but the air that traveled through the window and made my hair dance around cooled me down. It was a pleasant feeling, a luxury I got to cherish as partially human. Though I was more witch and vampire than human, I was still pretty much mortal, a mortal frozen in time. I wish I could stay like that forever, but I knew I had to give up my mortality someday, sooner than I thought. I was lost in thoughts, so much so that I didn’t realize it when I eventually reached the Italian capital.

I had arranged for a doctor’s appointment since I couldn’t call for Carlisle. I heard he had a family now, which made me extremely happy for him, he deserved it more than anyone. The appointment was quick, the doctor asked a few questions, I gave a urine sample and it was over.

She told me that it usually took about 2-3 weeks to get the results back, but I was in a hurry. So, I paid her a lot more than I was supposed to, asking her to inform me as soon as possible. She looked awkwardly at me, telling me she could try to do the best she could and to come over in a few hours. I thanked her and left the office, deciding to walk around Rome to make the time pass.

The doctor’s office was located in Trastevere, and I didn’t realize how close that was to the Colosseum until I saw it from afar. I felt a tight knot in my stomach and guilt in my heart. The Colosseum always reminded me of Felix, and now, here I was, possibly pregnant and ready to leave everything behind me and run away.

The only thing I have thought thus far was to cast a spell on the Volturi, like I did with my own parents, and run away. I thought of going to Carlisle; if any doctor knew about vampires, that was him. Sure, he had never helped a hybrid give birth, but there’s a first time for everything. The only thing that actually pained me in this scenario was staying away from Felix; he would lose the chance to be with his baby, to see them growing up, to experience every new experience and feeling with them.

Of course, there was the other scenario, where Felix would leave everything behind him and join me wherever I went. But that was pretty unlikely; though our mate bond was strong, he was devoted to serving the Volturi, so I didn’t think that he would leave them without effort.

In the end, I thought it would be better to mention it indirectly and see what I would do based on his reaction. That would be the best option I had, given the circumstances. In any case, I would have to get prepared for my departure, arrange everything so as not to draw suspicion, and get my priorities straight.

Rome was beautiful at that time of the year, lots of tourists came here for the summer, sightseeing, tasting the food, drinking wine. There were lots of children around, their laughs echoing in my head. The air was warm; the bright sun was partially blocked by my sunglasses. I was walking around the town aimlessly, just trying to take in as much as I could.

The Volturi were around when all these were being built, but seeing them even now, you could still just sit and stare at them in awe. People walked around, looking at the monuments, not really understanding the true extent of their glory.

I walked around with the confidence of a vampire, someone who should be feared and admired. I needed to feel like that for once; I usually was quite reserved and laid back, but I really needed to feel what it’s like to be in Rome. The city itself brought a wave of fashion, history, culture, freedom.

Women in Rome were confident in their own skin; they knew what they wanted and they knew what they needed to do to get it. They were the type of people I would like to be one day: confident, sure of myself, to be able to make my own rules and live my own life.

Unconsciously, I rubbed my belly with my hand. I never thought of having a baby really; I was never too fond of babies. But now, I don’t know why, I did like the idea of having a baby, especially if it was mine and Felix’s. If it turned out that I was pregnant, I would give everything for this child. I owe it to at least one of us to grow up happy; my mother didn’t have this chance, and I didn’t quite either.

I wouldn’t let my child get involved in Aro’s plan and be used and tossed around until it was needed. They would have a normal life - well, as normal as being a hybrid can be. They would definitely be “more” vampire than I was, thanks to their dad, but I only hoped that they would display magic powers, so I could teach them how to use them and feel powerful.

I didn’t realize tears were rolling down my face until I saw them fall on my lap; I wished I was indeed pregnant, as I really wanted to have a child with the person I loved most in this world, but, at the same time, I was scared that if I was, I would have to leave him behind.

If I was really pregnant, I would tell my child about their father, but I would also tell them the truth; that I had to leave to save all three of us of the pain, of the disappointment, of Aro. In the end, Aro would always be my main issue. Could I fight him? Sure. Would I win? Definitely. But, as I told my parents, I didn’t want to directly fight Aro; I wanted to create a more fair world for the vampires around the world.

Aro’s rules were plain autocratic; they weren’t fair for every vampire. It became worse when Aro desired a specific vampire for the coven - he would do absolutely anything to force said vampire to join the Volturi, whether that meant threatening their coven, accusing them of crimes they didn’t commit, use Chelsea’s gift on them, or all three. I wanted to be in a position where I could help other vampires in such situations, and to achieve that, meant that I first had to go against Aro. I couldn’t risk my child getting caught in the middle, so I had to take them away.

The confirmation of my pregnancy came a few hours later when I went back to my doctor’s office. She said I may be anywhere from three to four weeks pregnant. In my head that meant that my child was definitely part witch. When my mother was pregnant with me, the pregnancy did not last three weeks, like Sulpicia’s; more like thirteen months, like every other witch pregnancy.

My belly did not show yet, so I assumed the magical element would be more prominent than the mortal one. That also meant that I had two or three months at most until I started showing, so the time limit was choking me slowly. I thanked the doctor, before I handed her a few golden Italian lire, and left her office before she could protest.

I walked back to my car, my heart heavy, my mind working overtime, and my feet barely holding me up. I sat in the car, taking a deep breath, and removed my sunglasses. My eyes, still golden, shined against the afternoon sun.

I would soon have to go back to feeding off of humans; it was the only way to properly sustain a vampire baby, something which I learned from both Sulpicia, in one of the rare occasions she left her room, accompanied by Athenadora and Corin, as well as my own mother, during the few months I stayed with her and my father.

I started my car and drove to a nearby petrol station to fill the tank with benzina (petrol). As convenient and robust as my car was, the distance traveled was somewhat long, so I needed to fill the almost empty tank before I headed back to Volterra. As I drove along the highway, thoughts flooded my mind. I had to follow my plan and not let anything else get in the way. It was time to ask Felix who or what he wanted more: me or his position in the Guard.

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