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#i started this series like a little over a month ago and was the first thing i set out to consisitnely gif
ellatoone7 · 1 day
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❄︎ Pretty lights ❄︎
(Alexia’s favourite girls series)
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You and Alexia go to see the lights
Christmas time was always your favourite time of year. The pretty lights and decorations and just the wholesome feeling you would get during the holidays always made you feel at peace.
You honestly didn’t think you could love it more but the universe always has ways of surprising people. The warm hand that was placed gently on your thigh was proof of that.
Michael Buble was playing quietly on the radio as you sat in the most comfortable silence, throwing your favourite person and adoring glance every now and then. The gentle hum of her low voice buzzed in your ear as she sang along with the radio.
Taken by the absolute warmth of this scene, your hand grazed tenderly over her tanned arm, slowly making its ways down to where her hand was resting. Your fingers danced with hers for a minute before she opened her palm invitingly, welcoming your hand eagerly.
Alexia lifted your joined hands up to her lips, where she placed a delicate kiss to the back of your hand. You couldn’t help but let the red flush taint your cheeks as you stare at your conjoined hands resting on the console.
It still baffles you after all these years dating that she can still make you flustered. Alexia knows it too as she sends you a cheeky, not-so-discreet smirk. You let the peaceful silence consume you as you occupy yourself by looking out the window.
Barcelona was quite the city to see any day of the year, but something about the city at christmas time had captured your heart. (Or maybe it was the woman sitting beside you.)
Snow had fallen last night leaving the beautiful city covered in a dazzling white. A few snowflakes had started to fall since you had left your home but that didn’t bother you, in fact you encouraged it having not been used to snow from where you grew up.
The heating in the car did remind you that it was below minus degrees outside and you were almost there. You searched for your gloves and hat, preparing yourself for the first bitter shock when you got out of the car.
“Did we bring hats?” Alexia turned down the radio a tad so she could focus on your question. “Sí, I put them in the back seat.” You smiled softly at her memory because you would have completely forgotten them.
The closer you got the more excited you began to get. You and Alexia have had this long lasting tradition (more like competition) to go see which neighbourhood had the best christmas lights.
Alexia was one hundred percent positive that she had found the best lights ever, bragging all day about how she was going to win. You had complained that it was an unfair advantage as she had lived here her whole life and you hadn’t.
It was currently 11 o’clock, the digital lights in Alexia’s cupra wouldn’t let you forget as she drove you further into the heart of barcelona. Alexia pulled into this cute little car park, you bit your lip at the vein protruding from her massive hand that was on the wheel as she reversed into a spot.
You threw her a confused glance as she unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of her beloved car. You knew better than to open the door instead letting her do it to prevent the pout that would inevitably invade her face.
Sure enough she appeared at your door with an adorable grin, obviously happy at the thought of doing anything helpful for you. Ever the gentlewoman, Alexia offered her hand which you gladly accepted as she gracefully helped you out of the car.
“Gracias.” You thanked in her mother tongue before planting a kiss to her awaiting lips. The midfielder locked her car as she led you to this cute looking cafe that you had never seen before.
“Is this new?” You asked her as she fixed the hat on her head. “Opened two months ago. Mapi found it and told me it had the ‘greatest hot chocolate she has ever had.”
You laughed contagiously at your wife’s impression of her best friend. “Ahhh, so we are going here just so you can prove Maria wrong.” You teased bumping your shoulder to hers. “You get me.” Alexia sighed wistfully as she wrapped a strong arm around your shoulder, effectively bringing you into her warmth as she kissed the crown of your head.
The cafe wasn’t overly busy but it did have a nice buzz which Alexia had obviously noticed by the way her eyebrows raised in surprise that her best friend might have given her a decent recommendation. She was still scarred from the time Mapi gave her food poisoning after reassuring her that it would be the best thing she would ever taste.
Alexia pushed the door open and it held it for you with her usual charming smirk that always made your knees go weak. “After you hermosa.” Her accent purred as she beckoned you through. Alexia held the door for a few other people with a polite smile before resting her arm back around your shoulder.
You cupped her flushed cheek, pressing a quick kiss to her nose as you lined up for your order. Since Alexia was on her holidays, she could finally treat herself which is why her eyes immediately zoned in on the selection of cookies.
You followed her longing gaze, giggling sweetly at how excited she looked at the thought of finally having some sugar. “Do we want sugar cookies or chocolate chip?” She mumbled as she tried to make up her mind, leg tapping impatiently while she waited for the guy in front of you to finish ordering.
“Bebita which one?” She inquired, eyes not leaving the array of sweets for too long. “We can get both. One of each.” Alexia’s hazel orbs lit up at the genius suggestion and she licked her lips unknowingly, yet another gesture that pulled a giggle from you.
After what felt like years for Alexia, the man in front finished up and it was her turn to order. You let Alecia order, although you were fluent in Spanish you adored hearing how she spoke it, often encouraging her to stop speaking english which she refused, how else was she meant to converse with your dad about his terrible choice in teams.
The barista sent Alexia a shy smile but Alexia’s focus was solely on the cookies that were sitting on the counter. Although she must not have missed it as she placed her left hand right in the poor girl's eyeline. You couldn’t help but smile in amusement as her wedding ring glistened under the bright lights.
Alexia would do just about anything to show you off claiming that she felt selfish keeping you all to herself. The barista's smile dropped a fraction when she caught sight of the piece of jewellery but she managed to throw you a tight smile anyway.
After Alexia had shoved your hand with your card in it away and tapped her card, she took your hand and led you to where the other people were waiting. Alexia pulled one of the stools out from a table and offered it to you. After you politely declined she hopped up instead, needy hands immediately finding your waist.
You now stood in between her long legs, hands coming up to fiddle with the collar of her Barcelona jacket. Her ring clad thumb tapped against your hips as she skated for your order. You didn’t fail to notice how she didn’t once take her caramel eyes off of you, orbs flitting over every feature of your face that she had already memorised more than a million times.
“Pretty.” Your wife whispered, “So pretty.” Her cheeky grin was back as she watched the blush rise on your cheeks. You shook your head in amusement before bringing your hands to interlock behind her neck. You rewarded her with a feathery kiss, twirling her baby hairs in between your fingers as she sighed happily against your lips.
A large hand slid into the back pocket of your jeans as Alexia pulled you closer. Her other hand squeezed your waist encouragingly as she nipped at your bottom lip hoping to be let in.
You pulled back a fraction just to catch your breath but your wife didn’t like that as her hand slid up to cup your jaw, tenderly angling it back towards her awaiting mouth.
“Alexia!”
It was as if you weren’t even there. The minute the barista called her name your wife had nearly thrown you off of her as she raced up to her order. You grumbled as you followed her, annoyed at the interruption.
With a soft ‘gracias’ and nothing else, she was out the door, unwrapping her cookie and scoffing it. You decided to see if she would notice that you weren’t even with her by staying inside the cafe. It took Alexia an embarrassing amount of time to realise that you were in fact not attached to her.
You had to suppress your giggle as your wife frantically began to look around for you, mouth still full. Alexia, much to her relief, finally spotted you, shoulders sagging as she made her way back to you. You met her half way, feeling slightly guilty but much too amused to not laugh.
“Where did you go?” Alexia asked around her mouthful as her hand rested on your lower back. “You left me there.” You pouted playfully. Alexias eyes widened at your pout, quickly kissing it in hopes that it would disappear, “Lo siento cariño. I was just excited to eat my cookie.” You couldn’t hold back your laugh as you thumbed a few crumbs off of her chin, “I’m playing with you baby.”
Alexia huffed amusedly, “That’s your cookie gone.” You slapped her shoulder softly before leaning in to place a languid kiss to her lips. A soft smile dances across her face as she pecks your cheek a few times.
Without a word Alexia handed you your hot drink along with a piece of the half gone chocolate chip cookie. “Come on bebita, we have lights to see.” Your wife checked your hip before racing off towards her car.
You chuckled as she ushered you into her cupra, still holding the door. As she drove you closer to your destination, you took it as your duty to break off a piece of cookie and feed it to your wife.
Alexia laughed loudly as you waved it in front of her face. She took the piece gratefully and playfully bit at your hand which made you giggle. “Mi amor stop eating it all.”
You scoffed loudly before eating even more, “I’ve had one piece Alé.” Alexia whined as you put another piece of ‘her’ cookie. “You are buying a new jar of nutella when we get home.” Alexia grumbled as you licked at your thumb. “I already have two more jars at home babe.” You break the news to her knowing that if she knew that she would have eaten both.
“We agreed! We agreed that you wouldn’t have it in the house during the season.” Alexia argued, absolutely gobsmacked at the thought of you eating nutella in her house without her.
“Just because you have to suffer doesn’t mean I have to.” You sing out as you finish your hot chocolate with an appreciative hum. “I see how it is.” You knew your wife wasn’t mad with how her eyes sparkled when she looked over at you.
Once the car was safely stopped at a red light, Alexia couldn’t stop herself but to lean over and cup you face, pulling you into a searing kiss. “Te amo mucho mi amor.”
You smiled, softly stroking her strong jaw, forehead to forehead. “Even when I eat your cookie.” Alexia hummed affectionalty, placing another tender kiss to your soft lips, “Sí, even when you eat my cookie.”
The rest of the drive was filled with laughter as Alexia told you about her catching Jana and her girlfriend making out in the storage closet just after a tough training session.
“Okay, you ready?” Alexia asked as she slowed down, nearing the neighbourhood. You nodded, giving her a soft smile when she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
You gasped when you first saw the lights. Alexia knew she won, you knew she won, but god was it deserved. The whole neighbourhood was lit up in an array of colourful lights, basking you and Alexia in the prettiest glow.
“Alé, this is so beautiful.” You exhaled as your eyes were glued to a particularly pretty set of lights. “Not as beautiful as you bebita.” You hadn’t even realised Alexia had stopped the car until soft kisses were being pressed against your neck.
Your hand reached back slightly to cup the back of her neck as she left a teasing bite, soothing it with a lick. Her kisses trailed up to your cheek causing you to turn your head but instead of letting her kiss you, you pinched her chin between your fingers.
“I love you more than anything in this world Alexia Putellas.” Alexia’s breath was knocked from her lungs at the sincerity of your voice, “Por favor, let me kiss you.”
And you did.
Over and over again.
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Aita for blocking a friend on instinct? So i (f16) have this friend, (m16) we can call him D, who i've been friends with since kindergarten.
About a year ago, i started growing very close to D through our friend group's dnd campaign we held every friday. I knew him for a long time but that was the first time we had started hanging out out of school. We were talking on snapchat every night just chatting and after a while he started to send much more... revealing snaps. Just his bare shoulders but like without a shirt. He said it was because he had to let his medication for his back dry. I was a little uncomfortable, but we were friends so i didnt think that it would escalate into anything weird.
After about a month, D starts sending snaps in a towel and pictures of his chest which made me very uncomfortable. I kind of let the chatting die down after that because it was the only way i could think of that would be enough to gently let him down easy (i was wrong). I stopped going to the hangouts with that group and kind of distanced myself because how uncomfortable D made me. This only made D try harder to get my attention.
I was still friends with the others in the group so i would often have one-on-one hangouts with the others and watch tv. One thing we watched was Miraculous and we laughed and joked about it all the time. D overheard us or something and went home and binge watched the entire series in a week. Then everytime i ate lunch with that friend group, D would always make direct references to Miraculous or sing the theme song really loud. This wasnt once a day, D would make miraculous references every single minute. He became obsessed with the show (which, for reference of how weird it was, D is a very religious Christian boy. He gets upset if he gets an A- and never drinks caffeine (no problem with any of those things but just understand that kind of guy being deep within the fandom of Miraculous out of all shows 😭)). It was so bad, and it once again was making me very uncomfortable.
Eventually, it got to an insufferable point where D changed his route to go home and made sure to pass me every day after school and wave. I started avoiding him in the halls, he would always ask obscure questions that werent that important. I couldn't understand why he couldn't get that i didnt want to be friends with him anymore so i set boundaries.
A text i sent to D: i apologize if i ever caused any misunderstanding, but i would like to make it clear that im not romantically interested in you. i can see that you have been trying to grow closer, but i dont feel the same way. i don't appreciate being followed around, and i dont like when people force themselves to like the same things i like. its not attractive to be a copy of someone. i enjoy being your friend but it's difficult to disregard these things. if im being totally honest, when you do things like this, it makes me really uncomfortable and borderline creeped out. i know crushes wont disappear overnight but i would appreciate more space. if youre looking for a girlfriend, this isnt the right person, nor the right way to get it. and i wont tell anyone about this so dont worry about word spreading or anything. thank you
D's response: Oh, I'm so sorry I made you think that! I don't have a crush on you, I just noticed how you don't hang out with our friend group as often and I just wanted to make sure that I was being as nice as possible to make sure you weren't mad at us or anything. I did start to think that maybe me trying all that made me seem clingy or annoying, so I'm really sorry for all of that. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll try to do better now!
This didnt sit right with me because after all of that i cannot fathom how that translates to "i wanted to include you". This made me question a lot about the situation.
Reasons i feel like i MBTA: i'm over thinking things and D could be a genuinely a nice person. Its hard for me to read the room and i need to work on that and probably apologize to D.
Reasons i feel like i MNBTA: i should trust my instincts rather than ignore them. I've had a psychological abuser in my family before and the situation could be a stalker behavior that i've learned is not ok to have.
What are these acronyms?
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missmists · 3 days
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First bookbinding project a success. I think that my cat approves because he would not stay out of my photos. Five months in the making, but I couldn't be more pleased with the results.
I started with @armoredsuperheavy's amazing fanbinding tutorial to create a typeset of each work in @erisenyo's Burning Bright AU published on Ao3. Then had to reread the works in the new format and edit as I went to make sure everything was formatted correctly, (combined word count somewhere around 1.3 million) that took over a month all by itself.
I picked up a copy of Introduction to Bookbinding & Custom Cases by Tom and Cindy Hollander from my local library, to look at some detailed how to images and get multiple perspectives on construction methods. Excellent book, I do recommend.
My hunt for materials included a trip to Detroit with a side stop at Blick to look at decorative papers in person. Blick and the fine people at Hollander’s ended up having everything I needed to make covers. So between my brother kindly 3d printing me a punch cradle, making a DIY sewing frame of my own invention (courtesy of scrap lumber and a trip to the Lowe's hardware department), and three reams of late night printing, I managed to amass all my supplies.
Folding three reams of paper into signatures (the little bundles you sew together) takes about five days if you don't want to lose your mind or your place, and longer if you discover you need to fix things because that definitely happened. Then you get to unfold them to stab holes in them which is as terrifying at first and therapeutic by the end as it sounds.
Next came weeks of sewing books together, a magical process. I learned three new knots, repeatedly stabbed myself (because all forms of creation forcibly demand blood sacrifice) , and felt like I was roleplaying a monastic librarian from the time of Gutenburg. That's 600 years ago, 24ish generations, over 8million ancestors since then (by geometric progression, which excludes the possibility that any of my peasant ancestry is from small towns which is you know likely but I digress) and here I sat sewing pages together in a basement because story is the most sacred of human arts as it binds communities together and shapes perceptions of the self and our brethren, of outsiders allies and enemies, of the world as we know it and as it may come to be. Did I mention sewing books felt magical.
Then came the glue. So much glue. Multiple types of glue. All sticky. all stuck to me. I smeared glue with my fingers like a child.
At last it was time for the covers. Choosing combinations of the decorative papers and bookcloth and making sure I could get enough out of each material for what I needed. Precise cutting so many thanks to the architecture school professors who showed me how to properly cut chipboard. Then measuring and gluing, and more measuring, and more gluing. At last press a little groove by the spine and repeat eleven times.
Then I get to impress all my people with my latest and possibly coolest maker skill unlock, I am a book binder.
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Bottom to top in the stack or left to right at the bottom are: These Things Written  These Things Unsaid with Without Consent These Things Known with A Third Chance (or a First) Oh, The Way Your Makeup Stains My Pillowcase That Love You've Been Looking For  All I Need Is To Be Struck (By Your Electric Love) To Open Every Door to Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun (my favorite) Love Is In the Hair (fanart of this one originally lead me to read the series, thanks @ash-and-starlight) Lessons in Proper Asset Management Tangled Up With You  To Be Named, To Be Known (To Be Loved)
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elsafromcabinsix · 1 day
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she is the light in his dark life
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summary: the one where barbara thinks about an act of rebellion.
pairing: jake x mc
word count: 1.3K
warnings: sitlihdl takes place after the events of episode 10; cover images found on pinterest; english is not my first language.
author’s note: this is the first chapter in a series, so it probably doesn't have much emotion, but trust me, it was fun to write.
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Barbara was sprawled out on the dorm carpet, reading a Lucy Maud Montgomery novel she found by chance in the university library, when her cell phone began vibrating on the nightstand. Without wasting time, she closed the book and got up, waiting to hear from her roommate. But when Barbara swiped his finger across the lock screen, she came across some text messages from an unknown number.
i would like to invite you again to eat something at that hinese restaurant
if you want to meet me, just show up there tomorrow
i'll be waiting for you :)
Her head started to throb just at the possibility of it being who she was imagining, but she quickly pushed the thought away. Jake wouldn't put himself in danger like that.
After everything that happened in Grimrock, Duskwood's chief of police, Alan Bloomgate, personally went after her to conduct the interrogation, and, more than once, made it very clear that it was best for her to stay away from her new friends for a while. He didn't go into detail when he told her about what happened at the Ironsplinter Mine, but he confirmed that Richy was alive — despite having some serious injuries — and that Jake had fled from the FBI agents during the confusion caused by the explosion.
All the messages she sent and received during that time became evidence. Barbara had what it took to close Hannah Donford's case literally in the palm of her hand, including the kidnapper's confession.
Consequently, she also had the means that could lead the people who were after Jake straight to him.
She was interrogated by the FBI countless times for months, until Alan decided to intervene and convinced her to hand over her cell phone to them in exchange for her old life. Since then, Barbara has not been part of the joint investigation. Or at least that's what they say — she's too smart to really believe that.
For a few seconds, she considered the chance that it was someone trying to play a trick on her. The video Lilly Donford posted accusing her of kidnapping had gone viral across the Columbia University campus. Even his grandmother, who lived in the interior of Brazil, found out about his involvement with a hacker wanted by the North American government. However, no one else knew about the brief conversation they had about the chinese restaurant.
Except, of course, the FBI.
Without a doubt, it was a trap. Barbara felt her face turn red. It seemed that solving an international murder case, giving up her privacy, being forced to abandon her group of friends and possibly cheating on the guy she was in love with was not enough. She also needed to act as bait when it was convenient.
Barbara huffed, irritated. Little did they know that Jake had no contact. Their partnership in crime had ended almost a year ago.
Still, there was no reason to decline the invitation. She could very well take advantage of the opportunity to tell some truths to those nosy agents, and as a bonus she would have an excuse to go to Germany without Alan being able to question her too openly.
His lips lifted into a smile as the plan emerged in his mind.
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After going through customs at Zurich Airport, picking up luggage and going to an exchange office to exchange some notes, only an hour and fifteen minutes by car separated Barbara from Duskwood. Luckily, there were several yellow taxis forming a line next to the sidewalk, because it would be a nightmare to have to deal with someone trying to compete for the same vehicle as her.
She walked out of the lounge, pulling her hot pink rolling suitcase, and turned on her smartphone to announce on the family's group chat that she had arrived safely. But before she could check her contact list to see if her parents were online, she collided with a young man's broad chest.
She jumped away from him, apologizing — or at least trying to — in german. He laughed softly, grabbing her arm to stop her from tripping over herself, and for a moment, Barbara forgot to even breathe. The young man seemed to be a few years older than her, he was wearing a white hooded sweatshirt and black jeans, he was tall, had dark hair and kind eyes.
“I'm sorry, I didn't see you.” He spoke in english, with a slight accent.
“No problem, it was my fault.” Barbara quickly straightened up, realizing that she had somehow stared too long.
The young man analyzed her from head to toe with amusement before bending down and picking up the cell phone that had flown out of her hand during the impact.
“I believe this is yours.” He joked, handing the device to her.
“Thank you.”
He nodded curtly and turned, making his way through the travelers entering and exiting the airport, as silent as a wraith.
She was inexplicably disappointed to see him leave, however she had more important things to deal with. Then, she handed the luggage to the driver to put in the trunk and got into the taxi, giving the address of the Gates Hotel, on the outskirts of Duskwood.
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Barbara ran across the room, feeling the cold floor beneath her feet. She was considerably late, but as far as she remembered, she had never arrived on time to participate in the interrogations, so whoever was waiting for her at the restaurant wouldn't mind too much. She put on a black strapless dress, put on her highest heels and curled her wet hair with her fingers, leaving a small trail of water on the floor.
Through an opening in the peach curtains, she noticed that the rain had picked up outside, beating violently against the window pane. She cursed under his breath, hoping someone at the front desk could lend her an umbrella, and before Barbara could procrastinate her meeting with the FBI special agent any further, she took one last look at the floor mirror near the entrance hall, realizing that she was dressed for revenge.
“Someone would definitely approve of that.”
Smiling to herself, she went down a small flight of stairs to the ground floor, where the girl at the reception was reading a magazine with Nicholas Galitzine's photo on the cover.
“How can I help you?” She asked in english, without taking his eyes off the celebrity gossip.
“Hey, how you doin'? Could you lend me an umbrella, please?”
“Of course.” She said, reaching for the object under the counter and handing it to her. “A fee of two euros will be added to your room bill.” Barbara sighed, surprised, as she mentally converted the currency. “What?” The receptionist looked up, frowning. “Did you think it would be free?”
“No, obviously not.” Barbara lied, smiling politely.
“Return it by midnight or I will have to charge the full value of the item.” The girl announced, turning his attention to the magazine. Then she added: “Nice dress.”
“Okay, I'll pay when I check out.” She assured, walking towards the glass doors while opening her rented umbrella. “And thank you.”
“Have fun, Cinderella.”
Barbara regretted walking out the door as soon as she set foot on the sidewalk. Not just because of the rain, but because of the wind blowing your hair back. In any case, she had come too far to give up, and despite the storm, she could see the lights of the chinese restaurant through the blue haze a few meters ahead, on the other side of the street.
Before she could take another step, someone grabbed her arm and turned her around.
“What?” She blinked in amazement at the handsome young man she had met at the airport.
“I need you to come with me.” He said, pulling her away from the hotel entrance.
“You are crazy? I do not know you!” Barbara shouted, dropping the umbrella near her feet. The rain completely drenched them both in moments. “Let me go!”
“Barbara, please.” He asked, breathing short.
The sadness in his voice stopped her struggling.
“How do you…?” She gasped, eyes wide. “Jake?”
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taglist: @daniiiworlds; @labemquarts
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chuluoyi · 6 months
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heartbreak hotel
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- gojo satoru x reader
so you're going on a three-day-two-night getaway trip with the one and only Gojo Satoru. the catch? you two have just broken up.
genre/warnings: crack, jealousy, a dose of pettiness, hurt/comfort, fluff, zero angst i promise, suguru being a good buddy to his boyfriend best friend
notes: inspired by a very real life story :))) anyways, it takes place in an au where suguru never left and all is well with our little meow meow catoru the wonderful colored manga panel by the talented @redbluenight! this was so much fun to write (that it turned into a whopping 3k+ word, so sorry) and i even made a playlist while on it ;)
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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"He's intolerable!"
There were many things that led to the end of your relationship with Gojo Satoru, but if asked one word to sum it, then that was it.
When you started this thing with him, obviously you had never planned on how it would end―who started a relationship with that sort of mindset anyway? But if you could choose, you definitely wouldn't want it to end with dramatic shouting match that left you in tears.
Anyways, some things were just not meant to be. You refused to spend your whole life crying over that smug bastard, and so you moved on.
However, if there's one thing you've learned about plans, it is that whenever you already make a foolproof one, the world always has some funny way to mess it up.
Like this time.
"I... I remembered saving for months," you stammered dumbly, staring blankly at Shoko in front of you. The realization felt like a spiritual ascent. "I paid for that damn plane ticket and hotel with my whole saving. I can't just throw them away."
How could you possibly forget about this? This graduation trip that had been planned between your group of Satoru, Suguru, Shoko and yourself for months now. It was meant to be a getaway, a celebration of your most significant achievement after four years of barely getting by on exorcising curses and not dying in the process. This was supposed to be the ultimate milestone celebration in your life.
"Then don't," Shoko replied simply, twisting the cigarette in her mouth. "I'm still going though. No way I'm wasting that money."
"But!" you vehemently hissed. "He will be there. It means I have to see him for three days straight!"
Your cringeworthy breakup happened just barely a week ago. You had sworn in front of Gojo Satoru that you didn't want to see his face again, and yet in less than a week from now, you and him would literally share the same space―again?
"Can't I get a refund?"
"This late? Nah, it's like yay or nay at this point."
You slumped in frustration. Were the gods making you swallow your own words now? You were left with no other choice. Your frugality and tendency to get broke often compelled you to make the decision.
You were going on this trip whether he was there or not.
Meanwhile, on his end, the said smug bastard was brooding, groaning and pacing over the same predicament. Satoru had two options and had weighed them all, and somehow he still arrived at the more seemingly no-good decision.
"I'm going, duh!"
"You are?" Suguru asked with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Well, might be the first time I've seen someone agree to go on an overnight trip with his ex..."
"Hmph. I just don't like squandering money."
Suguru snorted, unimpressed. “Satoru, you have an entire fortune. The airfare is just an amount you'd donate to charity. Besides, you have wasted more than that.”
“Well, I want to enjoy my youth too! I’m going—who cares if she’ll be there!”
He was still miffed, recalling the day your argument spiraling out of control. How could you say those hurtful things to him?
“You never take things seriously—heck, I’m not even sure if you’re ever taking me seriously at all! Satoru, you’re always acting all high and mighty, but you’re just a selfish little twat!”
No way. The last time, he was left in the dust, not being able to say anything in his defense. So now, he would use this chance to be the one who had the last laugh. He was going, because he was 70% sure that you wouldn’t let your hard-earned money go to waste.
And he was right when two days later, he found you at the airport with a bitter scoff upon seeing him.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he moistened his lower lip in that obnoxious way. “Missed me?”
You walked past him, tone lacing with disdain. “Get lost, Gojo.”
He couldn’t help the prickling sensation in his chest when you dismissed him just like that. And the use of his last name—whereas you used to call him with all sort of available pet names? Now that was just low.
“Nah, you can’t get away from me that easily, Y/N,” Satoru sniggered. “You’re going to see me for the next three days, so suck it up and enjoy the sight,” and then the idiot proceeded to pump his fist in the air. “Wooo! Kyushu, here I go!”
Suguru and Shoko merely observed your icy interactions in silence, occasionally exchanging glances from time to time.
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ITINERARY ::: DAY 1 — BEACH DAY @ SEASIDE HOTEL
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After the three-hour flight, the four of you arrived at Karatsu, one of the main highlights in your trip—or back then, one you and Satoru handpicked yourselves.
You swore you still had your heart frozen for him, so you didn’t know what stirred it when you saw him giggling and doubling over in carefree delight, surrounded by those beach girls in skimpy bikinis.
“Hey, handsome~ is this even okay?” one of the girls in pink thong scooted closer to him, asking him with this cheap seductive grin. “Won’t your girlfriend be mad?”
At that moment, you could’ve sworn Satoru threw you a glance from the corner of his eye before replying with a triumphant bark. “What girlfriend? I’m wholly and happily single!”
The hell?
A rush of squeals grated your nerves as they swarmed your ex-boyfriend, prompting you to stalk away in irritation.
Absolutely not. You wouldn’t let this fine establishment be your heartbreak hotel any longer.
Gojo Satoru knew fully that he was petty. He let you see that on purpose just to rile you up, because frankly, he still felt like he didn’t deserve your messy breakup at all.
But when you were no longer in his eyesight, suddenly the urge to entertain these strangers dissipated, and what remained was this hollow sensation in his chest. You not paying him attention somehow made him crave it all the more.
He recalled how you pointed out that playing in the clear waters would be your ideal graduation gift. He specifically recommended this place himself and you had agreed. He remembered planning all of this, dragging Suguru and Shoko too just to make it merrier. To keep that cute smile on your face.
You were supposed to fool around with him in the clear waters of Matsubara Beach, splashing and pulling him underwater.
And yet in reality, he was toying with these questionable women and in your eyes, he was nothing but an irritable twat.
He didn’t see you again until evening, during dinner time. And the sight before him made him want to pull Suguru to the side and trap him inside his unlimited void.
"Really?" Your clear voice rang in his ears, every bit the same as when you would energetically question him with those doe eyes of yours, as you peered at Suguru. "We should go together tomorrow then!"
His eyes twitched.
What has his life come to? Reduced into seeing his ex-girlfriend possibly going on a date with his best friend?
He almost hoped that you'd stage up your pettiness level. It was worse because unlike him, you didn't make this up just to gauge his reaction.
That night, in their shared hotel room, he ignored Suguru completely, as well as silently waiting for him to divulge where he and you were going tomorrow.
"Hey Satoru—"
"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep."
It was obviously a wrong move, because Suguru apparently caught the hint and stayed quiet as a mouse throughout the night.
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ITINERARY ::: DAY 2 — HOT SPRING @ KUMAMOTO
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Or at least, last he remembered, that was the agenda.
Until he saw that only Shoko who was there, idling around at the hot spring area.
"Where are the others? Why is it only you here?"
She shrugged. "Geto said he's going to try the local specialties. Dunno where. As for me, I'm going to enjoy this onsen to the fullest."
Shoko noticed his irritated scowl, and a sly grin crept across her face.
"Heh, jealous much now, Gojo?"
Meanwhile, you and Suguru went to various dessert shops in town as per his invitation. Perhaps he took pity on you because you really seemed not to be having any fun at all after you stormed off from the beach area yesterday.
"Mmm! This is tasty!" you remarked, munching away the three-colored dango happily. You were so engrossed in eating today that you no longer had any room to think about anything else, which was a good thing.
Suguru smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself now." However, he appeared to have something on his mind, prompting you to hum and tilt your head in curiosity.
"No, it's just... so it's really over between you and Satoru?"
You let out a snort. "Yeah. Totally. He's an ass."
"He really is miserable, you know..."
"Nah, he doesn't look like it."
Your friend sighed. "Honestly, what was the argument even about? Both of you usually didn't take it this far."
You didn't want to go back to that topic, really. But Suguru was always the one with cooler head, and after his kindness today, maybe you could spare him a detail or two.
"It's a lot of little things that have piled up, you know," you mumbled. "It's probably just how he is, and I know. But I finally reached my boiling point. Why can't he try to see things from my perspective? Everything that's important to me doesn't seem to matter to him, and relationships need two people, not just one who resigns and the other who does anything he pleases."
And until now, you doubted if Satoru even realized what he did wrong. That was what hurt you the most. Like you were so small in his eyes, like he could toy with you and get away with it.
As you expected, Suguru would understand your point. "So that's how you feel... Yeah, I think I get it."
You thought he would end it at that, but then he went on. "I'm not defending him, Y/N. I think some time away from you would do him good, but later, maybe you can talk this to him? See if he will understand?"
"I already did, so many times." You narrowed your eyes at him. "Not to offend you, but it awfully seems like you're defending him, Suguru, despite you saying otherwise."
"I'm saying this because sometimes we can forget that Satoru is different," he explained sympathetically, and to be honest, you were surprised by his statement. "He is born exalted. He has a hard time comprehending things that come to us naturally. I just think it's a pity if... you can actually fix this, but just because bad communication, you lose the chance to."
Have you properly communicated this to him? Now that you thought about it, most of the times you would just get mad and point at the little things he missed, but never actually told him how it made you feel.
Your mind was still muddled with the fact Suguru had shed light on even after you got back to ryokan where you were staying for the night. The two of you were in for a surprise though as apparently there was a festival happening there.
Everything seemed to spark with glitters. The bamboo lanterns, lights, the gentle breeze. It created an undeniably romantic ambiance, to be honest.
You didn't know when Suguru slipped away, but suddenly, you found yourself alone amidst the visitors and dim lights.
And you found yourself to be immensely lonely.
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Satoru spotted you in all your solitary glory amidst the sea of people in this godforsaken place.
No, actually it was a pretty great inn and attraction, but this trip had been horrible so far, and so he just felt everything was bad.
But at that moment, bitterness no longer clouded his mind, because you were so beautiful, bathed in the glow of the lights that Shoko had forcibly dragged him to see. If it were up to him, he'd spend the last night sleeping his heartbreak away, but now that he was here, he was thankful to see the dazzling sight of you that reminded him once again just what made him hopelessly in love with you.
And why he didn't get his sorry ass back into your good graces faster.
He retraced everything had brought both of you to this point. Your last fight was about what again? Him not telling you any news when he would be back from a mission?
No matter how he thought about it, it was a trivial matter. So what made you mad? He kept thinking, and then he imagined switching places with you. What if you didn't text him at all for three days straight? How would he feel? Oh, he would be despondent, of course.
Now he was starting to understand. He had done that so many times he could no longer keep count. Granted, you would be angry.
Satoru suddenly know how to rectify this. He can make things right. He would be damned if he didn't. He just had to pull you aside, and he was going to when he lost sight you in the crowd.
Okay, now he was frantic, as the longer he didn't see you, the more his opportunity to make amends slipped away. He moved through the crowd, pushing people in the process, earning ire and questionable glares and yet he cared none for it.
He nearly cursed at how his phone kept vibrating incessantly inside his pocket. Begrudgingly, he took it out and almost gasped.
You are calling him.
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Bang! Bang! Bang!
It was so incredibly stupid. You just went to pee for a bit and then somehow got yourself locked in the toilet. It might have been fine, but then the lights unexpectedly went out, scaring the shit out of you.
How could such a upscale inn experience a sudden power outage and have doors that wouldn't budge? It was worse when no matter how many times you punched the switch or banged the door, it refused to turn on or open.
You were trapped. Honestly, it took everything you had not to cry.
And so you did the next best thing aside from forcing your way out. You called your friends. First, Shoko, and then Suguru, but both of them somehow didn't pick up the call even after you had called them three times each.
That left you with one possible person left. In your frenzied mind, it didn't even register in your mind what you were doing as the line connected and the last person you'd call on the other side answered.
"Satoru," you shakily breathed out, almost crying—or were you already? You didn't know as you focused on his sharp intake of breath, most likely surprised at how rattled you sound.
"Y/N? What? What is it?"
"I—" you wheezed, hating how helpless you sounded, yet still forced the words out. "I'm locked, it's dark—and it's just so—help! Help me please! I tried getting Shoko but she didn't—"
"Okay, sweetheart, calm down. Calm down, okay?" Satoru's voice brought you some comfort and it helped to reduce your tears, missing how he slipped up by calling you with his usual pet name for you. "Tell me. Where are you?"
"The women's restroom… I think it’s in the east wing."
"I'm coming, okay? Don't panic. I'll be there. Just stay on the line."
You heard his ragged breaths as he muttered several "coming through!" and "excuse me!" from where he was. It made your heart lurch. Despite the spiteful breakup, he rushed to your aid as soon as he realized you were in some kind of trouble.
Was this okay, to let your relationship end just like that?
"I'm outside." And then you heard his voice, much to your relief. "Y/N? Are you there?"
"Yes!" you shouted over the steel door.
You then heard how he rummaged to get the door open, and faintly hear him cursing it. "It won't open."
You wanted to sob, but then Satoru told you with an absolute tone, sounding so sure and demanding that compelled you to comply. "Get away from the door. As far as possible. Take cover."
Oh God, was he going to do what you thought he might do?
...he did. The next thing you knew, the door—and much more than that—was destroyed, and a rush of cursed energy was everywhere. After the blast subsided, you instinctively made a run for it, and you didn't know how, but you ended up stumbling into him.
Satoru caught you in his firm embrace.
"It's okay. You're okay," he cooed, whispering in your ear gently, urging your shivering body to calm down. "You're safe now, Y/N... I'm here. You're safe."
There was always something about your trembling form that made him want to tear down everything and anything in his path just to make you feel secure. And there was always this sense of rightness whenever you snuggled in his arms. Both desires clashed in a contrasting need and want and Satoru could do nothing but keep you close to him, torn between the two.
He kept his hand on your spine, and you clung on him, burying your face in his broad, sturdy chest.
Nevermind the fact that you technically broke up with him. Nevermind that ever since this botched trip started, it was the first occasion in which the two of you held a proper conversation without spewing bravado or sarcasm.
Afterwards, he led you away from the site, and he figured it would be best to go somewhere quieter rather than the festival, and so here you were, at the deserted lounge.
You had calmed down for the most part, and slowly you felt heat in your cheeks. In hindsight, you could've tried using cursed energy to blast the door too, why didn't you think of that earlier?
And yet, unaware of your internal musings, Satoru's thoughts were occupied with another matter entirely, and blame it on his insensitivity—he chose this moment to drop it without hesitation.
"I want you back," he declared, void of any hesitation. "I'll be better, I promise. Those things you hate—tell me, and I'll make sure not to repeat them again."
He wasn't the sharpest when it came to picking up on your feelings, but Satoru vowed that if it bothered you that much, then he would do his best to avoid doing it.
But you... you were still trying your best to grasp the situation. Amidst the plot twist you just experienced tonight, his blatant proclamation was the last thing you expected so you only managed a "What?"
He held your gaze, eerily serious. “I don’t want to break up. It’s hell. We can—I can still fix this.”
He looked sincere, unlike the usual empty promises he’d give you after you went off on him. And suddenly, you understood.
“…really?”
“Yeah. Just give me another chance. I’ll prove it to you,” Satoru said, visibly impatient now. “I won’t give you up. This literally is the fight of my life right now.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle, despite yourself. If there was anything that you had learned tonight, it was that apparently you and him were still salvageable.
“And how will you prove it?”
“Just so you wait and see, sweets. I’m gonna relight your feelings!”
It was beyond corny that he took a line from your favorite song. And both of you burst into a laughter at the sheer silliness of it.
You sighed, but this time of relief, in stark contrast to your earlier sighs that afternoon. You were giddy as a smile perched on your lips. “Fine. Let’s give this another shot.”
Satoru felt the tension in his shoulder melt with your answer. A genuine, wide smile emerged from the bottom of his heart and lit up his face.
“Now, this whole trip has been kind of terrible so far, don’t you think?” He made a brief pouty face for a moment before reverting to his mischievous grin His remarkable expressiveness—reminiscent of a child's, in your opinion—never ceased to fascinate you. “I have a pretty good idea where we should go next.”
You furrowed your brow in confusion. “What do you mean? Tomorrow’s our last day.”
“No freaking way!” he exclaimed, whipping out his phone to launch the travel agency app. “We are going to redo our graduation trip. This time just the two of us!”
There were many things that led to the end of your relationship with your dork of a boyfriend, but as you reflected on it, you realized that there were also many reasons for you to stay together, especially when he reached for your hand and held it firmly in his grasp.
You were unable to contain your excitement and bubbling with melodious giggles that he adored so much as he whisked you away from Kumamoto in favor of the last bullet train to Kyoto, where your long-awaited true vacation would begin.
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Epilogue
“I told you this was a horrible idea. I fucking told you.”
"Can you blame me? Dude was about to throttle me in my sleep."
"Geto," Shoko scowled, her disbelief at his simple answer evident as she gestured wildly with both hands towards the wrecked lavatory, emphasizing her point. "Look—now that he had gone and done it, we're the ones footing the bill for the destruction of property!"
Gojo had blasted the washroom with a freaking Red. And the innkeeper promptly held both Shoko and Suguru responsible since their roommates were captured on CCTV and had vanished without a trace.
Suguru rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I genuinely thought it was a good idea. I didn't expect Satoru to go overboard though," then he threw her a stink eye. "And hey, you were complicit in this too!"
Shoko mumbled a string of curses as she pulled out her phone, snapping some pictures of the undeniable evidence of Gojo’s doing, and then made a call. Suguru frowned.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm reporting him to the headquarters!"
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justauthoring · 6 months
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Just to be Enough [1]
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a series of snapshots of your life with geto and gojo -> this part: what if geto had called you that night?
a/n: this will more or less just be a collection of different one shots of potential moments of a relationship with geto and gojo. sometimes the plotline might change :)
pairing: satosugu x f!reader, shoko x f!reader
read the other parts here: one - two - three
-
His hands were shaking.
Part of you thought yours were as well.
You weren’t sure what to say – what was there to say? Being awoken by a call from Geto at three in the morning certainly wasn’t how you’d expected your day off to start; nor was the shakiness of Geto’s voice something you’d ever expected to hear. He was always confident, in your many years of knowing him that was something you’d come to expect – the unwavering confidence that both him and Gojo displayed no matter where they were, what they were talking about or what was happening.
He’d sounded afraid and distressed and on the brink of… you weren’t even sure what. Your heart pounded with fear of just exactly what.
Two girls. That’s all he’d manage to utter. Something about two little girls, locked and beaten and… his voice was twisted with something terribly painful and he was breathing heavily, words mixing together with his panic. You swear you’ve never called for Ijichi so quickly, now in a state yourself; enough that you hadn’t even had the politeness to feel sorry for waking the poor man up so early and abruptly.
It was when you were in the back seat of the car that you called Gojo.
“Something’s wrong with Suguru.”
“...what’s wrong?”
He’s away on a mission of his own. Just like he always was nowadays. It had been hard on your relationship, always missing one piece to make you all whole; but you understood, just like you understood that Geto was called on just as many missions. It was something you’d long ago come to terms with if you were going to be with the two strongest sorcerers, and you had no doubt about what that meant in terms of being physically with them.
Perhaps he’d answered, despite being on a mission, so quickly because, like you, he’d noticed the steady decline of Geto over the past few months like you had. Noticed but deflected every time you’d tried to ask. You’re a sorcerer yourself, and while you might not be as strong as them or sent on as many missions, you know the strain it puts on one's well being. You see it in yourself, in them, in your friends. 
It seems Gojo did as well.
And, if truth be told, not a single one of you had made it out of that mission last year the same.
It had taken you a second to reply, mainly because you weren’t sure how to. “I don’t know,” you confessed with a choked breath, “he just called me, said he found two girls. Satoru, they’d been locked in a cage, starving and with bruises all over them. I tried to get him to calm down enough to tell me where he was. But he sounded…. wrong.”
There’s an echoing pause, then; “you’re on your way now?”
You nod, even though he can’t see. “Yeah.”
“Okay, I'll be there.”
You hear the sound of him pulling away, as if to hang up; you can’t stop yourself from crying; “Toru!”
There’s a moment of silence before you hear him respond, rather softly; “yeah?”
“I’ve never heard him sound like that, Toru. I’m scared about what I’ll find when I get there.”
It feels wrong to admit – why would you be scared to see Geto? A boy you’ve loved since you’d first walked into class on your first day at Jujutsu Tech and laid eyes on him? But you are, terribly so; your hearts racing and it feels like you can’t breathe the closer and closer you get. You don’t know how to help – that was the whole issue of it all; how? How can you help him? How can you make it better?
What if you didn’t?
“I’m gonna be home soon, okay, Y/N/N?” Gojo whispers, gently; so opposite of how he normally sounds. “We’ll figure it out together, yeah? Just get him home.”
You nod, once again, “okay,” you whisper.
“I love you.”
“Love you too, Toru.”
You’re pulled up next to Geto ten minutes after that.
He’s standing there, the jacket of his uniform taken off, left bare in his white button up and slacks. When your eyes flicker lower, to the two little girls standing beside him, you find his jacket wrapped around the two of them; big enough to envelop them fully, huddled together. As you pull up beside him, stopping just in front, you first notice the girls; bruises and scuffs marked all over their skin, what little clothing they have on them ripped, dirty and clearly old, and then you see their big, wide, afraid eyes staring back at your own and your heart breaks.
When you raise your gaze, you meet Geto’s. He’s already staring at you, but his expression is blank; like he’s staring right through you.
You send a nod Ijichi’s way before opening the door, slipping out into the cool night air.
The girls are watching you carefully, shuffling closer to Geto, clearly scared of you, and as you stand fully, letting the door shut gently behind you not to scare them, you glance at Geto just briefly before crouching, so you’re at eye-level with the girls.
“My name’s Y/N,” you introduce softly, voice extra quiet so as not to spook them. “I’m Suguru’s friend. What are your names?”
They glance at each other, slowly, unsure, before looking up at Geto. He nods, a simple, silent gesture and then, as if relaxing, their tensed bodies ease and the lighter haired one speaks up first; “i’m Nanako and this is Mimiko,” she introduces her sister for her, and when you glance at the twins, it’s clear who protects who. The thought brings a smile to your lips, thinking back fondly to memories of your past, and nod.
“Those are such pretty names,” you smile, eyes crinkling with warmth. “Are you both cold?”
Nanako nods slowly, and you watch as Mimiko’s lips tremble.
“It’s nice and warm in the car, and there’s a nice man named Ijichi who’ll give you some snacks, okay?”
They look to Geto for guidance once more, and all it takes is one more simple nod before Nanako is eagerly grabbing Mimiko’s hand, pulling her sister forward just as you open the car door. They clamber in, and you adjust Geto’s jacket around them better as they huddle to the middle of the back seat, still holding tightly onto one another, before you let the door shut gently.
Left with Geto, silence echoes as you slowly push yourself up.
Then, with a shaky breath, Geto whispers; “I wanted to slaughter them all.”
His words scare you, but you force yourself to swallow down the fear, reminding yourself who this is and where you are. So, with a small step forward, you close the gap that had existed between both you and Geto, licking your lips. “The village?”
He nods.
“They did that to them?”
Once again, a nod.
“They would’ve deserved it.”
Geto blinks at that, shocked you’d agree with him. “...what?”
“I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong, because… you’re not,” you confess with a shuddering breath. The worlds feel wrong even if you believe them. There was a time that the simple thought of death upon anyone, even the worst of scum, would’ve made you feel ill. But now, it didn’t always feel so wrong — at least not in thought. Not in the deepest, darkest parts of your mind.
“But you didn’t,” you add, closing the gap completely between the both of you. You take a leap, ignoring your uncertainty and fear and everything in between and take his hand in your own, squeezing. “That’s what’s important.”
“But I wanted to.”
You meet his eyes and finally see something in it — a glimpse of hope, maybe. There’s something other then empty in those eyes, even for just a second, and you grab onto it, tightly, knuckles white as hope floods you because that was all you needed. 
Geto wasn’t gone.
“I’ve wanted to,” you confess, and it isn’t hard to know who and what you mean. “But I didn’t either. Do you think I’m a bad person?”
And his answer is instant; “no.”
“You aren’t either.”
His gaze lowers, and you think that’s all that can be said. At least now. Right now, those two little girls are important. Shoko’ll need to see them and when you get back to the school, Gojo will be there and he’ll help. You’re sure of it.
“Let’s go home,” you whisper, threading your fingers through his own. “Okay, Suguru?”
-
Gojo almost looks mad.
But one look at you, and his features soften, tense shoulders fading and he’s forced to remind himself of something maybe he just doesn’t quite understand. 
He’s never been good with words, at least not when it came to comforting. Not when it came to things like this.
So he doesn’t say anything.
After Shoko had checked the girls, and assured bith you and Geto that despite bruising, they were okay. They’d need water and food, but most importantly, sleep. 
You tuck them into your bed.
Geto is silent the entire time. He doesn’t say anything, just stands behind you, his presence is always there. There’s moments you catch, just faintly, where one of the girls will look at him and he’ll smile with a softness you’ve only ever seen directed at you or Gojo.
It fills you with a warmth, and that glimmer of hope you don’t want to lose.
The second he’s sure they’re okay and fast asleep, he slips out of your dorm and heads straight to his. A moment passes before you follow him, and when you finally reach him, he’s in his bed, back turned with the covers pulled up, as if hiding himself from everyone.
You stand there, watching, for ten minutes before Gojo arrives.
It takes him only one minute, after your look and after his acceptance to step forward, slipping into Getos much too small bed to carry two six feet tall men. But it doesn’t stop Gojo. He pulls the covers, slips underneath and presses his face into Getos back. It’s oddly soft for Gojo, caring in a way that words aren’t needed and comforting in a way only possible for him.
You feel distant from them in that moment.
You didn’t know how to help. What to say, what to do. You did what you thought was right, but it still hadn’t felt enough. Sure, you’d gotten Geto home, but he’d still been distant, cold and that look in his eyes still remained strikingly blank and gone.
Yet, you watch as the simple touch of Gojo relaxes Geto’s shoulders and he seems to ease, as if some, if not all, of the anxiety just washes away.
It hurts while comforts you.
You turn to leave, even if it’s your bed; maybe Shokos still up and—
“Y/N.”
Your body freezes, head slowly turning at the sound of Geto’s voice. He’s not spoken one word to you since you’d found him. 
He’s looking at you, meeting your eyes directly and one of his arms is stretched out towards you, as if inviting you.
Lips parting, you hesitate.
“Please.”
That’s all it takes. Your feet are moving before your mind can process, rushing towards the bed with an unfamiliar urgency. You’re desperate for acceptance. Desperate to help and comfort and be there for Geto — because that’s all you want. All you ask for. You just want to help.
He’s grabbing onto your arm the second he can, tugging you to the other side of him, back pressing against the wall your bed is pushed up against and your chest pressed against Geto’s own as he wraps his arms around your waist. You lay there for a moment, before Geto’s pulling you closer, a hand pressing to the back of your head so you’re leaning into the crook of his neck.
Everything washes away then, the warmth of Geto soothing you.
And the words he utters next could make you cry;
“Thank you.”
His words echo in the silence, and then, your eyes flicker upwards, meeting Gojo’s. His gaze is already on your own, soft, warm and there’s a smile on his face.
Everything’s okay then, you realize.
Geto’s home and so is Gojo, and you did help.
You did.
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sadeyedsugar · 7 months
Text
𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖) ₊ ⊹
part III
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ੈ♫‧₊˚ now playing: 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 - 𝒌𝒂𝒍𝒊 𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒔
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synopsis: fuckgirl rugby!abby x innocent!reader x dealer!ellie ; with all tensions resolved, you finally soothe the ache that’s been thrumming inside you when you have your first time with ellie and abby.
cw: 18+ mdni, very fem!r, innocent!r, dom top!abby, sub bottom!reader, switch/bottom!ellie, strength k!nk, loss of virginity, general rough s*x, slight corruption & breeding k!nk, family trauma, religious trauma, mentions of parental death, emotional/make up s*x, lotssss of fluff, mentions of christian holidays
an: hiii, here’s part three finally, my sincerest apologies for wait- if it helps at all this chapter is basically just smut, with some more smut and a little bit more smut to top it all off ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ I’m so so happy i started writing this series. I’ve made so many new moots & new followers and I’m so thankful and happyyyy ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა although this series is over I’m definitely not done writing for rugby!abby or dealer!ellie so send me some asks in my inbox 💌 I’d love to play around with them some more - sincerely, sugar ⋆˚��˖°
masterlist
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“Abby your room is…beautiful.” You say. It has a sleek, modern design, with trophies and award ribbons everywhere. “Really nice bed. A great bed. It’s really big...” You continue. It was one of the biggest ones you’ve ever seen, large enough to fit 4 of you.
You don’t know why you’re rambling and focusing so much on the size of it, instead of just jumping in. But you’ve nervous, more so than you’d like to admit. All the bravery in your body has jumped ship, and now that the two girls you’ve been wanting for ages are finally here, ready and wanting, you can’t even get on the stupid bed.
Always somehow able to sense what you’re feeling abby rubs comforting circles into your hand. “Want to wait?”
You shake your head no, not trusting your voice to stay stable.
Ellie squeezes your waist encouragingly before kissing the side of your head. “We won’t be mad, angel. Seriously it’s chill.”
It felt so nice knowing they were more concerned with your comfort level than their lust for you, but you knew deep down you were ready.
You didn’t say anything for a moment, working up the courage. Then you pulled your sweater up and over your head. You wanted this- and you wanted them.
Ellie’s face immediately flushed at the sight of your flimsy bralette and Abby suppressed a predatory grin.
“Fuck- well in that case,” Ellie muttered before stripping down to her wifebeater and boxers in less than three seconds. You giggled at her enthusiasm as she made herself comfy in Abby’s bed. She beckoned you over and you crawled across the comforter to snuggle up into her. She could tell you were nervous, your fingers shaking a little as you gripped her shoulders to straddle her lap. But she wanted you to feel good, knowing you just needed to get into it and you’d forget all about your worries.
“Let’s give abs a little show,” she said, lips brushing across your neck gently. You shivered at the press of her hot mouth against your jaw and nodded your head quickly.
Ellie groaned, finally getting to finish what she started in your bedroom all those months ago when she’d first met you. God she was so fucking glad that you were assigned as Dina’s roommate.
Ellie pulled you down to meet her and crashed your lips together in a messy kiss. While she bruised you lips her hand came up to palm your tits while the other tightly gripped your hip. Ellie’s kisses began to dip down, leaving hickey after hickey on the smooth expanse of your neck. Selfishly, she wanted to mark you, have you feeling her teeth marks in the morning. Her lips wandered down to your chest and found a home between your breasts.
She slipped a single finger under your bra and ghosted it across the skin there “Can I take this off, baby?” Your hips, seeming to have a mind of their own, bucked at the featherlight touch and both of you groaned. You nodded your head again.
“Uh-uh, need to hear you say it, sweet girl. Tell me what you want.”
“Please take it- I want it off.” You breathed desperately.
“That’s my girl.”
Ellie pulled the bralette gently up your body, and flung it across the room, hitting Abby squarely in the chest.
She grunted at the impact and you twisted quickly, “Ellie!” You giggled. But you were the only one laughing. Abby’s gaze was focused entirely on your chest, cheeks warm and lip tucked between her teeth.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” She muttered. She was stood casually at the foot of the bed, looking cool and collected. Except for her balled fist, like she was desperately trying to control herself.
“Best fucking tits I’ve her seen, where’ve you been hiding these baby?” Ellie squeezed you in her grip and you whimpered. She pulled you to her, ramming your back against her front, still fondling you chest in her calloused palms, giving Abby a crystal clear view of what she was doing to you. She pinched your left nipple and your hips jumped upwards.
“Ellie-” Abby said in a warning tone.
“Is it too much angel?” Ellie said, ignoring her, you could hear the smirk in her voice too. You squirmed in her arms. She tugged again and you cried out.
“Jesus, Ellie- just- be fucking gentle!” Abby finally got onto the bed, swatting Ellie’s hand away from you. Ellie chuckled quietly into your ear.
Abby smoothed a hand up your thigh and then back down again. “How ‘bout we take these off?” She offered.
“Yes please.” Your whiny plea made Abby’s fist tighten momentarily. She breathed out once through her nose before she continued. She was dangerously close to cracking. She wanted to be gentle with you, wanted your first time with her to be soft and loving like you deserved. She also wanted to prove you and Ellie wrong- that this wasn’t just a quick casual hookup to her. Though she knew she wasn’t being judged for her past actions she wanted to pour out all her care into her touches. She wanted to prove it to herself that she’d changed.
Abby carefully unbuttoned your jeans before shimmying them down your trembling legs. At the sight of the obvious wet patch on your underwear all three of you let out a shaky breath. Abby placed a soft kiss upon the fabric before sliding them off too, dropping them on the floor where they landed with an embarrassingly wet smack. You cringed at the sound, but the embarrassment of it all didn’t last long when you felt the warmth of Abby’s hand ghosting over your cunt.
“Can I touch you here?” She asked, hesitantly.
“Pleasepleaseplease,” you couldn’t take this anymore, “don’t make me wait anymore abby, please I can’t-”
She silenced you with a gentle brush against your clit and you whined so loud you swore the downstairs neighbors feared hear.
Abby swore under her breath at the feeling of your warm folds enveloping her fingertips. She drew slow circles around your clit, eyes trained on your face to gauge your sensitivity. But your eyes were screwed shut, cheek leaning into Ellie’s strong chest as you let wave after wave of pleasure wash over you.
Abby was slowly finding that she was becoming obsessed with your pussy, every shake of your hips, every twitch of your thighs and cry from your lips sent her reeling.
“You ever had your fingers inside sunshine?” She asked tightly, eyes still glued to your cunt.
You shook your head, “no but I wanna try- I think I can take it.”
She pressed her forehead against your lower tummy as she trailed her finger down her cunt, pressing one against your hole experimentally. She watched it flutter before her eyes and the grip she had on your hip tightened. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
Abby pressed a single finger into you and the feeling had your hips bucking and your hands fisting the fabric of Ellie’s boxers.
“Abbyyy, oh god-” you whined.
Abby rubbed the skin off your waist comfortingly, pressing kisses to your hipbone, “I know, baby, I know- you’re so fucking tight-” She said, “just relax for me, sunshine.”
You tried to loosen up, and Ellie helped, brushing your sweaty baby hairs away from your face and kissing the top of your head with every whine that left your lips.
Soon Abby was pressing a second finger inside you and you felt a pressure start to build in your gut. It was familiar, like the butterflies you often got when around them but so much stronger; they were swarming like a hurricane and you felt it in your whole body.
“Abby- Abby fuck, I’m gonna-”
You couldn’t even finish your sentence before your orgasm hit you, beautiful and bordering on painful from its intensity.
As you caught your breath, you felt Ellie’s soft hand brush away the tears that had escaped your eyes and felt Abby softly pry your thighs open to release her poor hand, which you’d accidentally trapped in the throws of pleasure.
Ellie grabbed your jaw gently, lifting your face up and forcing you to look up at her. “Feeling good, sweet girl?” You nodded shakily, and she grinned at you messy blissed our expression.
Once you caught you calmed down all the way, you wiggled out of Ellie’s hold and sat up, wrapping your shaking arms around Abby’s neck, “thank you.”
Abby gripped you tight in return, “of course baby. Was that good for you?”
You nodded your head rapidly and she huffed out a laugh.
“Abs?” Ellie piped up from behind you, “you know what I’d love to see?” Abby loosened her arms and met Ellie’s dark, lust full gaze with a confused look in her eyes. “I’d love to watch our pretty girl taking your strap.”
Abby’s breath caught at the proposition and she looked down at you for reassurance. You’d never done anything like that, but the image of Abby between your thighs, using all of her strength to fuck into you, making you take her- god you felt like you could come again, completely untouched, just thinking about it.
“Yes. Yes, god- please. I want it.”
Ellie grinned so wide it took up her entire face and promptly pulled you into a searing kiss. She eased you down into the mattress, mouthing at your jaw and tits whilst Abby stripped down. You heard the rustling of her getting a brand new toy from her bottom drawer and watched in awe as she dragged the leather harness up her strong thighs and secured it over her tight boxers briefs, the sound of the metal clicking into place making you impossibly wetter. Your body was pushing into Ellie but your mind was entirely consumed by Abby- she looked so comfortable and in her element: the cocky set of her jaw as she attached the toy, the way her muscles were glowing in the lamplight, her fucking knee buckling v-line. You wanted to lick that cord of muscle all the way down.
Abby eased herself onto the bed, lube in hand, and slid a comfy looking pillow beneath your hips with Ellie’s assistance.
“Want you to tell me if it gets too much.” She said to you, very stern. She was so fucking sexy when she got like this, all gently dominant.
You nodded and she kissed your forehead, before lubing up the toy hanging between her thighs.
“You don’t even need all that do you, sweet girl? We got you riled up enough- you’re dripping all over Abby’s sheets.” Ellie tsked, playing with your folds, smirking down at you arrogantly. “So fucking messy,”
You whimpered when Abby’s fingers joined in and both of their hands were exploring you, their faces watching yours carefully for your reactions. They were going to kill you if Abby’s giant strap didn’t. It wasn’t that big in retrospect, maybe 6 inches, but that was bigger than anything you’d ever had inside you.
Abby slid it up your wet cunt a few times, smacking your clit with it gently which made your hips jump.
“You ready baby?”
“Yes, please- just fuck me abby, please please please-”
Hearing you beg was music to her ears and she pushed into you slowly. You clenched down immediately around the unfamiliar intrusion and watching your face crumple in discomfort had Abby quickly second guessing her choices. But you reached a hand up to her face and put the other on her hip urging her forward.
Ellie kissed your temple from where she was laying next to you, on her side, head propped up on her fist, free hand stroking your tummy reassuringly. “That’s it babe- atta girl,” she cooed. “Doing so well for us.”
Her praises made it easier for you to take everything that Abby was giving. She pressed deeper and soon she bottomed out inside you, face sweaty and flushed with the restraint she was holding. She felt perverted, feeling her own pussy clench and drip at the sight of yours stretched out so obscenely around the silicone.
She began a slow, shallow rhythm, pushing into you and sweetly praising you periodically until you got used to the feeling of being so full, and god- what a wonderful feeling it was. The drag of Abby’s cock inside you had your eyes rolling to the back of your head and soon she began fucking you in earnest, every thrust pushing the air from your lungs and knocking all the thoughts from your brain, the ridges of her strap catching on your walls just right.
“You look so good baby” she grunted, and you whimpered in response, “taking every inch of my cock.”
She slid a big arms under your waist and held herself up with the other, ramming you against her roughly and the change in pace and angle made you keen loudly. She was finally fucking you like you’d always imagined, like she was letting her control slip. She thrust you up and down on her strap like a rag doll, like you weighed nothing to her- which you did. You knew she benched almost triple your body weight.
You cried out with every shove of Abby’s cock inside you, and every sound you made had Ellie more aroused than she’d ever been in her entire life, the obscene sound of skin slapping on skin making her clench around her own fingers. You and Abby both seemed to notice at the same time that she had a hand shoved down her boxers, jerkily getting off to the sight of you getting fucked within an inch of your life, splayed out whoreishly beneath Abby’s huge body.
Without any warning Abby’s slid out of you, gently of course, but the loss of her inside you had you immediately teary eyed and embarrassingly desperate to be full again.
“Wha- abby…bibi?” You questioned, voice wobbly.
Abby groaned at the sight of your wet cheeks, cursing herself internally for loving how much of a mess she’d made you.
“sorry baby,” she said gripping your jaw and pressing a messy kiss to the fat of your cheek, “I just think Ellie’s feeling a bit left out-”, she turned your head for you, and Ellie looked back with hazy fucked out eyes, cheeks flushed and almost a little embarrassed. “we don’t want that do we, sunshine?”
You shook your head no, “uh-uh, want you to feel good too els!”
Ellie thought you sounded so cute, voice sleepy and hoarse from all the screaming you’d done, but she felt selfish pulling attention away from you.
She looked at Abby, “I don’t know…shouldn’t we just let her come first and then maybe-”
Abby switched from gripping your jaw to gripping hers, giving her a look she never gave you- like she didn’t want to be argued with.
“Lie back against the pillows Ellie.”
“But-”
Abby squeezed tighter, “Lie. Back.”
Ellie let out the faintest whimper, you’re sure you wouldn’t have heard it if you weren’t so close. She shuffled over to the top of the bed and eased herself back against the cushions.
Then Abby patted you on the ass, and told you to flip over and you did, before she easily slid you forward so that your mouth was hovering over Ellie’s clothed pussy.
“Now, baby,” she said forcefully spreading your legs so that she could see your dripping cunt more clearly, “I’m gone fuck you, and while I’m taking you from behind you’re gonna make sure Ellie’s feeling just as good as you are- understand?”
“Yes Abby.”
“And Ellie’s gonna tell you exactly how she likes it, yeah?
Ellie shivered and nodded jerkily, “yeah- yes! Yes abby.”
Then abby shoved back into you and resuming her brutal pace, one hand pushing down on your back and the other gripping your hip with the strength of some kind of god. Every thrust sent your cheek bumping into Ellie’s pussy and she made quick work of ripping your boxers off so that she could finally feel your mouth on her.
You really had no idea what you were doing but you trusted Ellie, you knew she would help you.
Ellie laced her hand with yours where it rested over your stomach and used the other to guide your lips down between her thighs.
“Suck on my clit, angel,” she instructed, voice rough, “f-fuck, just like that.”
This position was quickly becoming one of your favorites: the feeling of Ellie bucking up into your waiting mouth and Abby pushing into you roughly was driving you crazy in the best way. You could feel them both everywhere, completely enveloped in their touch and their scent, the pleasure they’ve been given you crackling in your nerves endings and down your spine.
Ellie felt every moan and whine that poured from your lips ripple within her, the vibrations heightening her pleasure so much that soon she began to use you to get off, grinding into your tongue like you were a toy for her to play with.
Simultaneously Abby was fucking you harder, the rounded end of her cock ramming into your cervix with every push of her hips. She hadn’t used this toy before and was elated to discover that the backing was perfectly designed to bump her clit with every thrust she delivered.
“Fuck baby- swear I can feel you gripping me, you’re gonna make me come- Jesus fuck,” she rambled, and her shaking voice clueing you in to just how close she was, “can’t believe I’m the first one to fuck you, I’m the only one to h-have you like this- can’t believe you’re letting me break you in baby, wish I could f-fill you up, you’d like that wouldn’t you, sunshine-”
Abby’s thrusts start to get sloppy as her orgasm crashed over her, but it didn’t matter much because soon you were coming again, so much harder than you did the first time. You sob into Ellie’s cunt from how good it feels and she’s quick to follow, her thighs squeezing your head as she rides out the remainder of her orgasm on your tongue.
The room is silent, aside from the occasional whimper and heavy breath.
Ellie’s the first to speak, letting out a shaky “holy fuck.” As she sits up unsteady arms.
She looks down at you- face covered in tears from your orgasm, thighs sticky with your release, eyes glazed over- and lets out a soft chuckle at the state of you.
“I’m gonna pull out now baby,” Abby says softly in your ear and you can only nod. She slips out of you and detaches the toy, tossing it somewhere to clean up later. At the feeling of her fingers suddenly on your pussy again you yelp, weakly pushing her hand away but she doesn’t let up.
“I know baby, I’m sorry. Just need to check and make sure I wasn’t too rough with you.”
You let Abby do whatever she needs and nuzzle your head into Ellie lap, who welcomes the closeness, stroking your face clean with a tender hand.
Abby comes to sit beside Ellie, pulling your legs into her lap and begins to massage your still trembling thighs. “You tapping out, baby?” She asks, trying so hard to keep her arrogant attitude from slipping forth- she loved that she reduced you to a shaking, blissed out mess.
“I’m done. I definitely won’t be able to walk in the morning.” you admit, and both of them laugh.
Abby kisses you lightly on the head before disappearing into the bathroom. She returns with two wet cloths and throughly cleans you up, and tries to help Ellie who punches her in the arm and pridefully snatches it away to clean herself.
Abby lets you and Ellie borrow some clothes to sleep in- you in her huge rugby sweatshirt and Ellie preferring to sleep in boxers and literally nothing else.
“I think we need food,” Ellie says, springing up from the bed, “where the fuck is my phone. We should Uber Eats a giant pizza.”
Abby frowns and looks at Ellie with disgust, “we’re not ubering food when we can just make something homemade! It’s cheaper-”
“Okay, first of all you are loaded!” Ellie scoffs, “and this pizza is going on your card.”
Ellie turns on her heel and stalks out to the living room and Abby follows exasperatedly. You giggle to yourself as listen to the sounds of them bickering and play fighting down the hall.
The last thing you remember is cozying up in Abby’s bed, her pillows heavenly soft and smelling like sex and both of their colognes- the heady scent lulling you into a deep slumber.
When they return to ask your opinion on dinner, Ellie and Abby find you curled up like a kitten underneath the duvet, snoring adorably, cheeks smushed aggressively into the pillow.
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You wake up wrapped in the warm embrace of two bodies. You must have curled into Ellie in your sleep because you were hanging on to her like a lifeline, squeezing her like a teddy bear. And Abby’s big arm was stretched around both of your bodies, holding you two close. You decided you wanted to surprise them, give them a nice reward for taking suck good care of you last night. So you wriggle carefully out of their grasps and steal a pair of Abby’s socks before tip toeing to the kitchen. Lucky for you, you knew they were both heavy sleepers, slumbering away like corpses, and not even impending doom could wake those girls up.
You raided Abby’s well stocked kitchen, grabbing pans and baking dishes and ingredients- you were surprised to find she had a heart shaped waffle iron for some reason- you added that to the pile. You listened to music on a very low volume as you chopped ingredients and whipped eggs for an omelette for Abby, and prepared batter for some cinnamon waffles, that you knew Ellie would love. You even found Abby’s disgusting protein powder and decided to make a smoothie as well, and another mixture for you and Ellie that would actually be drinkable. You couldn’t complain too much, Abby being a total gym rat was one of your favorite things about her. You loved how strong she was and you especially loved it today, because you could feel her all over your body the morning after. Your thighs were so sore you had to drag a stool over from the kitchen island because standing for so long was making your legs even more shaky.
You heard some shuffling and groaning and you figured your girls were up so you skipped down the hall to the bedroom to rouse them for breakfast.
You cracked the door open tentatively, not wanting to startle them, but you were surprised to see them wide awake. Wide awake and deep in the midst of passionate love making.
Abby was tenderly fucking Ellie in missionary, holding her close and kissing her hair, both of them with tears in their eyes. “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s whimpered into each others lips. You quietly closed the door to give them some privacy. You felt like your heart was gonna burst, so happy that they had really reconciled and found love- found each other. Finally, after all these months, you knew they’d be okay.
You were sprinkle powdered sugar over the waffles when they finally appeared, Ellie covered in hickeys and Abby still slightly out of breath, you chuckled to yourself as they sat down in front of the plates you’d made them.
“Fuck yeah- I could get used to this.” Ellie said, grabbing a waffle with her bare hands, completely disregarding the fork you left for her.
Abby, way too happy to reprimand her, just kissed Ellie’s head, then yours, pulling you into her as she affectionately watched Ellie shovel food into her mouth like a toddler. Abby squeezed you tight, “I’m so fucking happy.” She said and you wanted to cry because so were you.
“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” You whisper, your voice betraying your nerves a bit.
Abby eyebrows furrowed cutely, “Of course you are baby. You’re mine, for as long as you’ll have me. Both of you.” She looks at Ellie hesitantly, and she looks back, face pink eyes wide.
She stands and walks over to you two, “Yeah. Obviously. You stayed… and I want you to stay forever.” She kisses Abby’s jaw, “my girl,” then your cheek, “and my angel.”
Abby eyes flood with joy and she pulled you both into her chest, and for the first time ever you finally felt at home.
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Two Months Later ──── ★ ˙ ̟
“I can’t believe you talked me into wearing this shit all fucking night,” Ellie grumbled, stumbling into Abby’s apartment, buzzed on life and cheap beer.
You twirl in after her, equally as tipsy, widest grin ever plastered on your face, “els it was an ugly Christmas sweater party! It’s my favorite holiday and you have to be festive- it’s important to me.” You pout.
Abby, the deeply sober designated driver for the evening, just shakes her head with a bemused expression at her girlfriends’ antics and locks the door behind her.
Ellie turns around and glares daggers at you, and you catch another glimpse of her sweater, that reads ‘jingle my bells’ in garish green lettering above a few Christmas bells that dangle from the bottom hem. You collapse into another fit of giggles, clutching your stomach as you try to hold onto the couch for support, which you don’t get, because your arm misses it and you plop onto the ground, still laughing maniacally. You’re sure it isn’t that funny, but the weed and vodka combo you’d had tonight was making anything and everything absolutely godamn hilarious. Ellie rolls her eyes at you but helps you up, before stripping the sweater off and throwing it on the ground where it lands with a musical flair into a heap.
Abby drags you both by the arms into the kitchen where she sits you down at the table and pours three glasses of water each for the both of you. “Listen you two, my apartments only got one toilet and I can only hold one persons hair back if all that liquor decides to make a surprise reappearance. So please, for the love of God, drink up.”
Ellie salutes her stupidly, but picks up a glass and you chug one down immediately because you don’t want to be a pain later on tonight- knowing you were the lightweight out of the group, notorious for making Abby comfort you while you vomited all over the place. Unfortunately, you still hadn’t learned to hold your liquor.
When you were done you threw your arms around Abby’s neck and gave her a million kisses on her cheek, and she let you, secretly loving how over-affectionate you were when you were drunk, “this is the bestest most wonderful Christmas I’ve her had! M’so happy bibi,” you said, still wrapped around her like a vine.
“Baby, it’s not even Christmas yet.”
“I know but still. All my christmases haven’t been so good. And this one is gonna be awful, because I have nowhere to go now that classes are out so I just wanna soak up all my festive Abby and els time right now!” You pouted, hiccuping a little from how worked up you felt.
Abby remembered what you told her about your parents- how they’d disowned you and banned you from ever returning to their house after you came out. She knew you bringing home two new girlfriends to introduced to your parents was definitely not going to go very well, so she understood why you decided to stay on campus.
Abby kisses your head softly, “I completely understand, sunshine, this uh- this is my first holiday season without my dad.”
“Abby, babe- shit. I’m so sorry.” Ellie said, reaching out and giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
“It’s okay, really! It won’t be the same without him if I go home anyway, so I’ll just stay here with you baby, how’s that sound?”
You instantly perked up, “really!”
She nodded and you squealed in excitement, giving her another round of kisses on her other cheek, her face now completely covered in your sticky lip gloss.
“Or,” Ellie piped up, cleaning her throat. She played with her fingers like she did when she was nervous, “you guys could um… come up to Jackson with me, meet Joel. No pressure or anything but it’d be like having a little family Christmas, like you want, and he asks after you guys all the time, mostly because I never shut up about you two during our weekly phone calls but that’s not the point-”
“Oh Ellie really?! That would be so amazing, oh my god I love you!” You screech, flinging yourself into her arms, almost sending you both toppling to the ground.
“Abs?” Ellie looks up hopefully.
“Yeah baby that’d be…amazing.” She breathes, trying to fight the tears.
The next morning Abby’s car was parked in front of your dorm hall, packed to the brim with all your combined luggage, 75% of it being yours because you needed to have all your outfit and shoe options, insisting that you needed to be prepared for any event that was thrown at you, which both Ellie and Abby rolled their eyes at.
You skipped down the stairs with the last of your bags, Dina trailing behind you in massive sunglasses with a huge jug of coffee, as she nursed her raging hangover from the night before. She kissed you and Abby goodbye, and you hopped into the car, Abby handing you the aux cable, remembering how music helped your car sickness. You thanked her for with a peck on the cheek.
Once they were alone, Dina pulled Ellie into a tight hug, “Merry Christmas, idiot.” She said, words abrasive but voice full of emotion seeing how loved and happy her best friend was.
“Yeah, you too asshole.” Ellie grinned.
“Call me when you get in!” She shouted, as Ellie jogged towards the car.
“I will, D.”
“And take care of them!”
Ellie winked, before sliding into the passenger seat. “You know I will.”
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𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅
⇦ part II
my masterlist °˖➴
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taglist: @abbysl0ver @zahraaziza @macaroni676 @kittnii @mikasasbabygirl @l0v3eli @paleidiot @machetegirl109 @kissesforells @i-love-milfs2 @dvrellie @feelsoseencantdream @patrickthepatato @ellabsmasc @scatapple @angelanderson @octavias-next-meat-bite @url0calwh0r3 @harmsworld1 @luvrmunson @wizardcat495 @spaceshipellie
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vivwritesfics · 2 months
Text
(Oh My God) They Were Roommates
Chapter Nine - Cough Cough I'm Sick
Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were teammates. Tension had been between from the minute they started driving together and, when it only got worse, McLaren CEO Zac Brown decides there's only one solution: Have them live together.
1.3K
(idk who sorts out the media stuff so i just said marketing manager)
Series Masterlist
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Here's the thing, it was exactly what it looked like. Max let out a laugh as he looked at the papaya drivers panicked. "Relax," he said quickly and walked out of the driver's room. "I'll meet you both outside."
Y/N and Lando looked at each other as Max shut the door. "Fuck," she whispered as she pulled her clothes back onto her body. She swapped Landos shirt for her own.
Wordlessly, Y/N left his drivers room. She pushed past Max and sped walked out of the track. She was so fucking stupid - this was why they had those rules in the first place!
And now that Max knew, what was going to happen?
She didn't sleep that night, anxiety overtaking her. For the first time of the grand prix weekend, Y/N checked her phone. She went onto her private account, went to the for you page (for the memes) and was immediately flooded with pictures of her in Landos hoodie. Fuck, that was right. She was wearing Landos hoodie.
She didn't know if Lando went to the club with Max, but she didn't care. She wrapped her arms around her pillow and tried to get some sleep.
***
They'd been home for two days and they hadn't slept together. It was unusual, but Lando couldn't blame her, especially after what had happened in Spain.
He missed her. Which, this time just a few months ago, would have felt impossible. But he really did miss her, everything about her.
She didn't entirely avoid him, but it felt like she didn't want him anymore. They hadn't properly spoken since the grand prix, almost like they weren't even friends anymore.
Lando kept himself busy. He gamed and streamed a lot, rarely giving himself time to think about the little hole in his heart.
It was an overreaction, Y/N knew. But she was terrified of the consequences that they'd inevitably get. So far, nothing had happened. But that didn't mean it wasn't coming.
The next week was the Canadian grand prix. For every grand prix since they began living together, Y/N and Lando had travelled together. One of them would usually drive to the grand prix, taking it in turns.
This time, though, Y/N travelled alone. She made her own way to the grand prix, over thinking and then sleeping on the flight.
Lando hadn't realised she'd left. He knocked on her bedroom and pushed it open. "Y/N?" He called, but she wasn't there, already on her way to Canada.
Obviously, Y/N arrived before him. She’d slept on the flight, sure, but she still made her way to her bedroom for a nap. Exhaustion gripped her as she got under the blankets and closed her eyes, still in her travelling clothes.
When Y/N woke up, there was insistent knocking on her hotel room door. “Fine, alright!” She shouted, her voice croaky. Her throat killed as she pulled open the door and came face to face with the McLaren marketing manager. “Hey,” Y/N said, rubbing at her eyes.
“You’re meant to be doing media things with Lando,” the marketing manager said quickly.
“Fuck,” she whispered under her breath and checked the time on her phone. Had she really been asleep for that long? “Okay, I’ll get dressed.”
She shut the door and got changed. What she would have loved to do was take a shower, but with the way the marketing manager was talking, she definitely didn’t have time.
As soon as she was dressed, Y/N followed the marketing manager down to the lobby of the hotel. Outside there was a car waiting for her. She climbed into the back seat and pressed her head against the cool window as they drove towards the track.
Somehow, she fell asleep in the car once again. She woke up to somebody shaking her shoulder, and was quick to follow them into the McLaren hospitality unit. Her had swam as she walked, but she ignored it; she had a job to do.
It was the first time she had seen Lando since she left their apartment. “Hey,” she said through a croaky voice as she sat in the seat beside him.
“Are you okay?” Asked Lando, his arm resting on the sofa behind her.
Y/N quickly moved it. She nodded her head and looked at the camera in front of them as a member of staff past her and Lando question cards.
***
She was sick. That was clear to anyone as she threw up into her bathroom. But to her, it was just stress. She’d had a taste of her first win and she wanted more. Th thought of trying to keep being consistent was making her so stressed that she was coming across sick.
She threw up before qualifying. How she made it all the way to Q3, she didn’t know, but she struggled to qualify in the top five. As soon as qualifying was done, Y/N rushed back to the hotel room while the team at McLaren took care of the media for her. She managed to avoid fans as she was driven back to the hotel.
As soon as she was in her room as she asleep on her bed, still wearing the McLaren shirts and shorts that she had left the circuit in. She didn’t even climb under the covers before falling asleep, her head just about on the pillow.
Again, she woke up to somebody knocking at her door. Again, she reluctantly stood up and pulled open the door.
Only this time, it was Lando on the other side of the door. “Shit,” he whispered as he looked at her. “You look…”
“Like shit,” Y/N answered for him.
“Are you okay?” Lando asked again and Y/N nodded, leaning her forehead against the wood of the door frame. But Lando clearly didn’t believe her. He stared at her, raising his eyebrows, waiting for her to take it back, to tell him that she was feeling as terrible as she looked.
Still, she couldn’t admit it. Lando tried to walk past her, to get into her room, but she stood in his way. “What do you want, Lando?”
“I want you to admit that you’re sick and let me take care of you.”
“I don’t want you to take care of me,” she said, somewhat stubbornly.
So, Lando grabbed a hold of her shoulders and forced his way into her room. He sat the door behind him and sat her on the bed. “Talk to me,” he said, kicking off his shoes and laying back against her pillows.
“About what?” She spat back, crossing her arms as she looked out of the window.
“About why you’re not talking to me.”
She visibly deflated. Fuck, she had missed him, but their last time had scared her enough to keep her away. No, he was just asking to get into her head before the race.
“Max hasn’t told anybody, you know,” he said, leaning forward and placing his large hand on her shoulder. “He’s not going to.”
Y/N twitched her head towards him, but she didn’t say anything.
“We could go back to the way we were, you know,” Lando continued. “I… I miss you and I want to go to how we were.”
She let out a sob and wiped beneath her eyes. She missed it too. Missed him. “I-“ but she couldn’t say more than that.
Wordlessly she crawled towards him. she laid down beside him, placing her head on his chest. “Lando, we can’t tonight,” she said.
“I know,” he responded with a nod. “You’re sick.”
“I’m not sick!” She insisted.
“You’re sick.”
Taglist (CLOSED): @biancathecool @hollie911 @topguncultleader @annispamz @carlossainzwho @spideybv28 @wherethefuckisthething @fangirl125reader @minkyungseokie @marialovesf1 @kitixie @i-wish-this-was-me @bborra @formula1mount @charlotte1697 @formulaal @eviethetheatrefreak @lordpercivalcharles @venisvendetta @marie0v @tbsloneely @laur20a23 @formulas-bitch @cmleitora @marvelavengers000 @gills-lounge @andydrysdalerogers @demipatterns @holy-macncheese-balls @jule239 @aexitizen-ln4 @landosgirlxoxo @allinestarr @starmanv @st0rmzi3 @random-human02 @nocoolusernamesavailable-blog @happymeal777 @ashy-kit @juniper-july19 @im-an-overthinker @haylenxx @kapsylia @prettiest-at-the-party @urfavnoirette @norassimpingzone @thehufflepuffavenger1 @taintet @amorydsmt @hi00000234567 @iamkaku @maxv33rstappen @noneofyourfbusinessworld @thatsusbitch @izzy-marvel @carqueensworld
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wosoreading · 13 days
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"Your opinion of me won't change, right?"
Alexia Putellas x reader
Masterlist
You've been hiding your poor family relationships from your girlfriend, sending you into a downward spiral
Wasn't gonna make this two parts but apparent I'm not capable of making anything short enough to not split it up so a second part will be coming. I've got a little road trip this weekend so it'll be a minute before it's done, just wanted to get something out before I left.
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Your relationship with your family had never been great. The four of you were constantly fighting and arguing, usually over things that weren’t all that serious. Your parents were the worst of it, always trying to keep you in their control. Although you had never gotten along well, your relationship worsened when you decided to make your move from the United States to Spain more permanent than you had originally planned. 
You first moved to Spain about three years ago. It had been temporary, for your job. You were only supposed to be there for a year. Over the course of that year however, you had no idea how much you would fall in love with everything that Spain offered you. Your company had settled you in Barcelona and you fell in love with the city instantly. The weather was far better than you were used to back home, every meal you had was significantly tastier than anything you could find there. You truly found no negatives to your new life you had started establishing in Barcelona. Best of all, you met your girlfriend, Alexia. 
The night you met, she ran into you at a club. You were out partying with some of the new people from work so they could show you the city. When you were at the bar waiting to order another drink, someone basically fell into your side. It had appeared one of her friends had pushed her in your direction in an attempt to force her to talk to you. The blonde woman apologized (and blushed) profusely, insisting on buying your drink for you. From there, the two of you got to talking and never really stopped. You weren’t one for random hookups and didn’t feel comfortable leaving with some stranger in a city that was brand new to you so you gave Alexia your number and told her to text you. 
To your surprise, Alexia texted you the next morning, asking if you’d want to get lunch. It was an obvious answer to you as you got ready to meet her at a local cafe she recommended. From that day on, the two of you fell fast. You had clicked instantly. Conversation always flowed easily between you and time flew by. As cliche as it was, it felt like the two of you were meant to be together. Your lunch date led to a series of other dates, often built around the idea of her showing you new spots around the city she loved so much. After about a month of seeing each other casually, Alexia finally asked you to be her girlfriend.
It was important to both of you to keep your relationship private, especially in the early phase of it all. You each valued how easy it was being just the two of you, not having to worry about the media, fans, or in your case- your family. You knew they wouldn’t be happy with you falling in love with a “random girl” in Spain. They wouldn’t be able to understand your love for her or how happy you were here. All they wanted was for you to come home. The further your relationship with Alexia developed, the more the chances of you coming home shrunk. 
After about 2 months officially dating, you each told your close family and friends about your relationship. Your parents met her over FaceTime and it went about as well as could be expected. They were (surprisingly) nice to your girlfriend during your call, being polite and going through all the formalities. However, later that night on the phone they expressed their disapproval to you. Your mom told you all about how you didn’t need a relationship distracting you from your job and how it was a waste of time anyways since you’d only be in Barcelona for about nine more months. You didn’t take much of this to heart as this was exactly what you expected from them. To you, you just smiled and nodded and spent as little time on the phone with them as possible. Alexia didn’t know the extent of the conflict within your family. Knowing she was close with her’s, you didn’t want her to judge the way your family treated each other. It wasn’t that big of a deal anyways. She knew the four of you weren’t all that close but you never let her into how bad it really was. Why did your girlfriend need to know that anyways? They were an ocean away, you just needed to get over it. It wasn’t that big of a deal, you just tended to sugar-coat it some when the two of you brought up your families. 
Alexia’s family had the exact opposite reaction upon meeting you. You knew your girlfriend’s family was extremely close, especially her and her sister. The pair of you had gone for dinner with them to officially meet and they were absolutely amazing to you. They greeted you with hugs and wanted to know all about you. Your dinner with them could not have gone better. Alexia’s mother had already made you feel like a true member of the family. They made you feel valued and important, something you often missed from your own parents. Sometimes you tended to bond closer with other people’s parents due to the lack of relationship with your own, so you appreciated how welcoming they had been to you. You were incredibly grateful not only to Alexia but to her entire family. During that dinner, you realized just how much you were falling in love with her. You loved everything about her and her life. 
About a month later, Alexia introduced you to her teammates. It was hard not to love them too. You could see clearly why they meant so much to your girlfriend and immediately started to form bonds with them as well. At this point you had both already confessed your love for each other and were becoming more and more serious. The more integrated your lives became, the harder it was to imagine going back to the US. You didn’t feel like there was much you were leaving behind there. As the months passed and your relationship continued to flourish, you decided to make your temporary work transfer into something more permanent. In less than a year, you had built more of a life for yourself in Barcelona than you ever had back home. It was impossible to imagine leaving the sunshine, your friends, the beaches, and most importantly, your girlfriend. 
You didn’t realize your relationship with your family could get any worse until you told them about your decision to stay in Spain. It was the middle of the afternoon when you called them, intentionally picking a time when Alexia wouldn’t be home. You knew it wouldn’t go over well and you didn’t need her to see the reality of your life back home. It was hard to have prepared yourself for all the yelling and crying that was directed at you through the phone. Your mom told you that you were throwing your life away for “some girl,” while your dad told you about how you clearly couldn’t care about them if you were willing to move away. The insults didn’t seem to end. No matter how much you tried to explain yourself, justify your decision, and communicate the feelings you had for everything (and everyone) in Barcelona, it just continued to worsen. 
It didn’t take long to lose your patience with your parents. Your guard was already up so you were on the defensive before you even dialed their number, putting you even further on edge. The more they refused to listen to you, the more your frustration turned to anger. Pretty soon, the three of you were fully yelling back and forth at each other. It wasn’t uncommon in your family to end up arguing and yelling. You didn’t like it but it felt like it was often the only way to get your point across. When they got in these moods, they’d refuse to listen. Sometimes your heightened emotions were the only thing that got through to them. As usual, your yelling turned to hot, angry, tears. You were so frustrated and full of rage. You didn’t even bother wiping them away, knowing more would just continue to fall. None of this was new to you, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating as you continued to hurl insults back and forth through the phone.. 
The group of you went on like this for over an hour on the phone before you had had enough and finally hung up on them. It had felt like a turning point in your relationship, and not in a good way. It felt like a point where there would be no turning back. As much as you knew you were okay with this, it still made you sad. How could you have ended up like this? Why couldn’t you just have a normal family? One that loves each other? 
You were far too distracted to notice your girlfriend come home from training while you were on the phone. When she walked in the door, she heard yelling and was immediately filled with concern. She knew you were planning on talking to your parents today about making your move permanent. You were nervous about it and had worried about it non-stop before she left for training. She didn’t quite understand the extent of your worries but supported you endlessly. The blonde had no idea how deeply this would hit. The volume of your voice both concerned and confused her as she further entered the house. 
Following your voice, she ran to your bedroom where she finally spotted you. You were sitting on the floor, leaning up against your bed. Tears were running down your face and covering the front of the sweatshirt you had stolen from her. In the time you had dated, just under a year now, Alexia had never seen you looking anything like this. You were normally extremely smiley and happy. Now you were crumpled on the ground yelling rudely into your phone. It confused her. Normally you were nice to everybody, all the time, no matter what. How could you be saying things like this all of the sudden? And to your parents? As she stood frozen in the bedroom doorway, watching you, she was also overcome with sadness. You looked so broken, so helpless. For once, Alexia had no idea what to do. She had such a wide range of emotions, seeing you like this for the first time ever. 
Alexia didn’t notice right away when you had hung up on your parents. As soon as you did so, you broke down fully sobbing. The sound of that was what had made your girlfriend snap out of her thoughts, running to you and immediately pulling you into her arms. It made you jump when she grabbed you, having no idea she had gotten home. You relaxed slightly upon seeing who it was but quickly tensed again, “Ale,” you choked through more sobs. “What are you doing here? How long have you been home?” you continued to gasp for air, more overwhelmed than ever both by your family as well as Alexia seeing how that had gone. 
The blonde continued to hold you tightly and stroke a hand down your back, trying to calm you down. “Training finished up early, I got home a few minutes ago,” she tried to explain, however you didn’t seem to be taking in her words. “You’re okay, mi amor. It’s just me, breathe.” 
You cut her off by shaking your head rapidly. Fully starting to panic, you pushed your girlfriend off of you and moved away from her slightly. The idea of Alexia seeing you like that, seeing how you and your parents treat each other, filled you with shame. Surely she would break up with you. Family was everything to her, and she just heard you yelling at yours. How could she possibly be okay with that? Somehow, you had managed to panic even worse, not even realizing it. At this point, you were fully struggling to breathe. All you could do was let out strained chokes and sobs, failing to catch your breath. “Mi amor, please let me help you,” Alexia started to plead with you as you still didn’t let her get closer to you. She was getting seriously concerned, not knowing how to calm you down. 
The more you struggled to take in air, you started to feel light headed. The rational side of you, deep down, knew Alexia was your only way out of this at this point. You had hit a point where you needed her help. If you didn’t let her help you, you’d most certainly make yourself pass out. Finally, you reached one hand towards her, nodding rapidly, inviting her to help you. Your other hand grasped at your chest, almost pleading with yourself to allow you to breathe again. As soon as you welcomed her, Alexia immediately came close to you, placing your outstretched hand on her chest. “Try to match my breaths, amor,” she spoke calmly yet much quicker than usual, filled with concern for you. “You’re gonna be okay, I’ve got you, just try to breathe with me, you can do it.” The older girl was basically begging with you, not something typical for her. Eventually, when your gasps started to be slightly more productive, she kept her one hand on yours, still pressed to the center of her chest. The other hand pulled you in close, now placing your head against her heart so you could hear it. She rubbed your back slowly, trying to not overstimulate you any further. “That’s right amor, you’re doing so good,” Alexia continued to encourage you as slowly your desperate breathing turned to silent crying. 
Eventually you spoke up as you became more aware of the situation. “I never wanted you to see that part of me,” you sobbed into your girlfriend, still entirely filled with shame over what she had just witnessed. It scared you so much. Surely this would make your girlfriend hate you. It should. You were awful to your parents. Granted they were equally awful to you, if not worse. And it had gone like this your entire life, you had no patience left for it. But it was no excuse. You didn’t deserve someone like Alexia. Someone who loved her family. And would surely hate you for how you felt about yours. 
Placing both hands on your face, your girlfriend forced you to look at her. “You never have to hide yourself from me. Never. You can talk to me, I promise.” Alexia was almost struggling to hold in her own tears at this point, her voice cracking on the last word. Seeing you like this, so broken, absolutely destroyed her. You just nodded slightly, not believing her words, as tears continued down your face. She pulled you back into her tightly, continuing to provide comfort. You tried to focus on the sound of her heart and the feeling of her hand running through your hair. The longer she held you, the more you were pulled from your thoughts of what had gotten you to this point. 
Once your breathing had become more normal, Alexia tentatively pulled back to look at you, “why don’t we go sit on the couch?” she asked softly, hoping that a new spot would further pull you out of the headspace you seemed to be so stuck in. “I’ll get you a glass of water? We can talk about it if you want or we can just throw a movie on?” All you could do was nod, tears still pooling in your eyes. Alexia was so perfect to you. You could never deserve someone like her. Not when your life was such a mess. The blonde stood up slowly, reaching for your hands as she did so. She pulled you into another tight hug once you were both standing before leading you to the couch. Once you were settled there with your favorite blanket, Alexia went to get you some water and a small snack, knowing it was your favorite. 
You felt numb as you waited for your girlfriend to return. Your mind was somehow both racing and empty. It was clear you needed to tell Alexia about your conversation, if you could call it that, with your parents. She deserved to know the truth about your family and you knew it was the only way you’d be able to make sense of the thoughts. Talking was your only way out of your head and Alexia admired how well you were able to communicate your feelings. It also helped her to know where your head was at and how she needed to be helping you. 
Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice your girlfriend returning to you. She sat close to you, leaving it up to you if you wanted to snuggle into her further. After drinking some water, you were much calmer than before, effectively blocking all your feelings from your mind for the time being. 
Alexia knew you well enough to know this was not how you coped with stress. Blocking out your feelings would make you spiral even worse and both of you knew it. No matter how much you didn’t want to let her into that side of your life, you knew it was your only option. “Amor, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything,” she offered gently, trying her best not to push you into anything. Even though she hid it well, she was desperate to know what was going on, what could have caused you to lose yourself so quickly. It wasn’t like you. It made her nervous. 
Your response broke your girlfriend’s heart even further, “Your opinion of me won’t change, right?” you avoided her eyes, looking terrified of what her answer might be. She could barely even hear you, you were quieter than she’d ever heard you speak before. 
“Nothing could change my opinion of you,” she squeezed your hand tightly, trying to make her words sink in. “I love you, remember? I just want to help you” You had nodded slightly, but Alexia knew you weren’t really taking in her sentiment. “Prometo, mi amor. I am here for you. No matter what.” 
Taking a deep breath, you tried to find your voice again, but couldn’t do it. It was clear that you needed to explain everything to your girlfriend as she sat in front of you, looking at you with eyes full of hope, full of love. The words you were going to speak would surely make her realize that you did not share the same family values that she thought you did. How were you supposed to just say something when it was obviously going to change how she looked at you forever?
Part 2
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wosoamazing · 11 days
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Mummy or Leah
Summary: Based on this request.
Warnings: Mention of death (Rs parents, Cancer) - like in last Paragraph thats it, mention of Arsenal's Injuries last year....
Summary: It's only short, but I hope you like it :) - currently I am working on the McFoord Teen!Reader Fic and the next story in the McFoord Baby Series.
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Today you were going to your first England camp since your Mum got an ouchie knee that meant she couldn't play for a long time, Beth and Viv had also hurt their knees, and Laura, something about an ACL. Lia, your Mummy’s friend had moved in to help originally but then she got hurt too. You had only recently been adopted by your Mummy when she got hurt, it scared you, you didn't want her to die too.
“You excited bub?” Your Mum said as she got you out of your car seat, you didn't say anything immediately seeing Lucy.
“Ucy!” you screamed as you ran to her, she scooped you up and threw you into the air.
“I think you’ve got your answer,” Alessia giggled.
“Nice to see you again, little one, where is your Mum?” She asked, picking you up, you pointed to where your Mum was standing with her Arsenal teammates, she started to walk over to them.
“Wessi” you said as you made grabby hands for her.
“That didn't take long,” Lucy said as she handed you over to Alessia.
“Oh Lessi is currently the favourite, isn't she monkey,” Alessia asked you as she tickled you, causing you to giggle.
“Wove Wessi, we go pway? Tooney, Mary?” Alessia looked over to Leah, who nodded.
“Sure monkey, let's go find them, I just need to go take my stuff up to my room,”
“We’ve got it Less, don’t worry,” “Thanks Le.”
__
“Weah,” you said as you reached up and tugged on her shorts, she hadn't noticed you walk in with Mary, you and Mary had run away from Alessia, so she was still outside, “What did you just say bub?” “Weah”
“Who’s that?” you pointed to her, “is that my name?” you nodded, she should know this shouldn't she, “but I’m Mummy, I’m your-” 
“Leah,” Alessia said loudly as she walked into the common room.
“Weah” you repeated after Alessia.
“Oh, I see the problem, do you think you need to call me Leah because everyone else does bubs?” you eagerly nodded your head, “oh, well yes, everyone else does call me Leah bubba, but that's only because I’m not their Mummy, you see I’m you Mum. Aren't I?” you eagerly nodded your head, “Well then, you get to call me Mummy.”
“O-tay” you replied before a big yawn escaped your mouth.
“Nap time?” you shook your head, “I think so bubba, why don’t you see if Beth will let you lie with her and you can nap,” you nodded slowly and your Mum put you down and you toddled over to where Beth was laying on a bean bag, she almost seemed sad.
“Bef, I nap wif you?” “Sure monkey,” she picked you up and you curled up on her torso, your head resting on her chest. 
“Wove oo,” you said to her, causing her heart to melt, a few tears started to well in her eyes, she tried to push them down as she drew circles on your back but when you drifted off to sleep and Leah went over to her, they left her eyes. Leah didn't say anything but wrapped her arms around her as best she could without disturbing you. A year ago today was the day a few of the Arsenal girls had met you, they were visiting kids in the hospital and saw you just walking about, as soon as Leah met you and found out your Dad had just died and that you had no one to care for you, as you Mum had died earlier from cancer, she knew she was going to adopt you. Your adoption was made official after you had been living with Leah for just over a month.
April 19 2022 marked the best and worst day of Leah’s life, it was the day you became hers officially but it was also the day her whole world came crashing down.
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strangersmunsons · 1 month
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Eddie, My Love! eddie munson x reader // valentine's day special series Day 10 Prompt: Date Night ❤️ ~ 2,400 words you and Eddie go out for Valentine's Day.
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Eddie can’t help feeling a squirm of embarrassment when he thinks about pitching you his date idea for your first Valentine’s Day evening together.
Admittedly, he hadn’t been paying attention to the calender; the date crept up on him without making a single peep. When Wayne pointedly asked him over breakfast what he was planning on doing for his girl, he just about choked on his cereal.
“D’you have eyes, kid? Every store window in town has been pink for weeks.”
His uncle just gave him an exasperated look, shaking his head.
All day, Eddie’s been scrambling to try and plan something special for you, which has proven to be difficult in a place like Hawkins, where opportunities for romance are pretty scarce, even when one (decidedly not him) has the brains to prepare further in advance than, well…the day of. 
He called you right after talking to Wayne, and confirmed a time to pick you up for your date, whatever it was going to be. He spoke too animatedly on the phone, laughed too loudly to hide his anxiety, but was careful not to let on that he had no idea what the hell he was doing. 
It ended up being only twenty minutes before he was supposed to leave when a lightbulb finally went off. But to say he wasn’t feeling confident about it would be…an understatement, to say the least.
He’s never celebrated this milestone with anybody before. Were you expecting something fancy? Maybe an expensive dinner that you could get dolled up for, and lose yourself in a dreamy whirlwind of fairy-tale romance?
Unfortunately, such extravagance was not only scarce in this rural town, but it’s also a little out of his price range. He desperately wishes that he could wine and dine you the way he thinks you deserve, but for now, on his bar-back wages, this is the best he’s got.
Eddie takes a deep breath, and raps quickly on your front door, pacing on the stoop. When the door swings open, you greet him with a beaming smile that makes you look so pretty it nearly knocks him off his feet. He’s seen it a million times before, technically; but it wasn’t until a few short months ago that you starting training that affection directly at him. He’s still not accustomed to the full force of it, and he’s not sure he ever will be.
“Hi,” you greet him, pulling the door shut behind you as you step outside. You move in close to him, closer than any mere friend would dare stand, but you’re not quite bold enough yet to reach out and grasp his hand, or lean in for the kiss yourself, so he does it for you. And with gusto.
If there’s one thing Eddie Munson is not afraid of, it’s PDA. Why should he care if someone sees him loving on you? He wants everyone to know how he feels. He’d shout it from the rooftops if he could.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He pecks at your lips again, and looks you up and down. “God, you look stunning.”
You try and laugh him off, looking a little embarrassed but not displeased. Eddie raises your entwined hands up into the air, and says, “C’mon, do a little twirl for me.”
Looking thoroughly flustered, you oblige, letting him spin you round — but only just the once.
“Yup, it’s just as I thought. Gorgeous, as usual.” He squints at you. “You got a boyfriend or somethin’ you’re trying to impress?”
You smooth the pleats of your skirt. “I do, actually. He’s ruggedly handsome and has a minor rap sheet — I’d watch out if I were you!” The last word comes out as a squeal, as Eddie suddenly snatches you up in his arms, holding you around your middle, and carries you down the short flight of steps. When both his sneakers are planted firmly on the sidewalk, he sets you down again.
Eddie escorts you to the van, and helps you climb inside. When you’re both seated, he pauses before putting the keys in the ignition. “I was thinking we could see a movie tonight,” he says conversationally. “Would that…be okay with you?” 
He watches carefully for your expression, waiting for the glimmer of disappointment to flicker across your face, but you look perfectly at peace with the suggestion. “Sure,” you chirp, giving him a shrug and and a small, perfect smile.
He tells you which film he wants to take you to, and you bust up laughing, nodding your head in affirmation. Eddie grins back at you, cheeks reddening. 
The drive to the theater is short, and within minutes, Eddie pulls into a parking space and cuts the engine.
Wanting to be sure, he asks you again, “Are you sure you’re okay with this? ‘Cause I know it’s not the most exciting night out, and I — I can call around to some restaurants if you’d rather do that instead, see if I can’t find some place that isn’t booked up —”
You cut him off. “Eddie, this is perfect. I think it’s a great idea.”
He raises his eyebrows skeptically, convinced that you’re indulging him. “If you say so.”
Eddie climbs out of the van while you wait patiently in the passenger seat, and walks around to your side. He’s been very insistent about this ritual since the first date: you cannot, under any circumstances, let yourself out of the vehicle; you must give him his chance to act the proper gentleman. 
Basically, he gets pouty and sulks if you don’t let him get the door for you.
Eddie bows, one arm extended in a flourishing gesture. “Milady.”
“Thank you, kind sir.”
With his arm wrapped securely around your shoulders, and yours around his trim waist, the two of you head into the movie theater. There’s no new releases, no blockbuster rom-coms on this Wednesday in February, so the lobby is practically empty, save for the bored, gum-snapping cashier at the box office register. 
“Two for My Bloody Valentine, please.” 
God bless the Hawkins Cinema manager for having a sense of humor.
The cashier slides two tickets across the counter. You take them eagerly, while Eddie grabs your free hand, allowing you to lead him through the spacious room. He lets you pull him along like a lovesick puppy, totally content to follow you wherever you go.
At the concession stand, he fishes a wrinkled coupon out of his jacket pocket. Fanning himself with the crumpled paper dramatically, he says, “Got a voucher for free candy. You get whatever you want, sweetheart.”
Your mouth falls open, and you look up at him with wide eyes. “You are sweeping me off my feet right now,” you exclaim giddily. 
He shrugs nonchalantly. “I aim to please.”
You make your way to the assigned theater armed with popcorn, your free Raisinets, and a large coke for the two of you to share. Eddie’s not even fully seated in his rickety chair before he starts tossing buttery kernels into his mouth. A few fly astray and land on the floor. 
“Careful,” you chide him gently. 
He responds by picking up another piece and flicking it directly into your face.
“Hey!”
Eddie leans in abruptly, face suddenly inches from yours. He stares at you intensely, the seconds ticking by, then closes the distance by sealing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.
When he pulls back he’s grinning brightly at you, while you’re rendered speechless. He wraps his arm around your shoulder again, pulling you as closely to him as he can manage with the armrest in the way. 
The house lights dim, then shut off, shrouding the room in darkness before the projector kicks on. Eddie watches the opening sequence of the film with interest, but you watch him instead. 
Hesitantly, you turn to whisper in his ear. “Hey, Eddie?”
“Yeah?” His dark eyes glint in the light of the silver screen. 
“I just wanted to say…I know we haven’t been dating that long, but I really like being with you. Thank you for taking me out tonight.”
Eddie blinks in surprise. His cheeks feel hot — now it’s his turn to be flustered. “O-oh. I do too. Like being with you, I mean.” He frowns uncertainly, gesturing towards the movie. “I mean, I know it’s not dinner at Enzo’s…” he trails off, unsure how to finish voicing his insecurity. 
You wave him off before he has time to worry again. “Eddie, you could take me somewhere to watch paint dry and I’d still have fun because I’d be doing it with you.” 
The corners of his lips turn up in a shy smile. “Really?”
“Of course.”
Eddie kisses you again, deliberate and slow, one hand lightly cupping your jaw. His lips move against yours when he whispers, “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”
~
“I forgot how Canadian they are in that movie,” Eddie snorts. 
With the film over, you and Eddie slowly plod back out towards the lobby, thoroughly stuffed on popcorn and candy and Coca-Cola. 
“Yeah,” you reply absentmindedly, suddenly much more focused on the selection of arcade games that are tucked away in the corner. “Hey.” You nudge him gently. “I bet I could kick your ass at air hockey.”
Eddie grins wolfishly at you, immediately game. “Oh, sweetheart, you wish.”
Both of you take your stances at either end of the table, Eddie fishing around in his pocket for spare change. He slots a quarter into the machine and the board hums to life; what follows is arguably one of the most zealous games of air hockey the Hawkins Cinema has ever seen, both of you slamming the puck back and forth across the table with so much vigor that, more than once, it flies off the table completely and arcs an impressive distance across the lobby. 
And as it turns out, you don’t need to wish for anything at all: you beat Eddie twice in a row, and quite gleefully. He tries to shake off his annoyance.
“You’re being too aggressive,” you tell him sagely. “That’s why you keep bouncing it back into the goal on accident.”
“I’ve never cared for sports,” he says dismissively, tossing his striker back on the now-still table, as though he’s not upset about losing.
“Someone’s got a case of sour grapes,” you tease him in a sing-song voice. 
“I do not.” He pouts. 
You pat his back sympathetically. “It’s okay. We can’t all be winners.”
“Alright, alright. Enough about my athletic ineptitude,” he laughs, poking you in the cheek. He nods over to the claw machine wedged between Pac-Man and Frogger. “Instead of spending my last quarter so you can get three-for-three on air hockey, how ‘bout I try and win you something instead?”
You clasp your hands together and hold them under your chin, batting your eyelashes. “Please do.”
He winks at you, and sidles on over, eyeing the miscellaneous goods piled up in the glass box. There are various toys, stuffed animals, small trinkets enclosed in bubbly-looking plastic containers. “This is my last quarter, you know. A lot riding on this.”
You shrug. “If you can’t get me a prize, we’ll have to break up.”
“Ouch! You’re a cold, cold woman, you know that?”
Eddie’s about to use his last coin, when he thinks better of it. Instead, before the machine eats it forever, he holds the quarter out to you in his palm, and with a deadly-serious expression says, “Blow on this for me.”
You blink at him. “What?”
He sighs with mock-impatience. “For good luck. C’mon, every gamblin’ man knows that.” 
“Oh.”
You blow on the quarter, and Eddie finally starts up his game. The pink tip of his tongue pokes out from between his lips, and his brow is deeply furrowed — the picture of concentration. He wields the control stick like it’s a deadly weapon, with the utmost care and precision. He’s aiming for a small teddy bear in the back left corner, perched precariously on the mountain of toys, but angled in such a way he thinks he might be able to nab it. 
He makes his last minute adjustments, then triumphantly slaps his hand down on the button, heavy rings clacking against the plastic.
The claw sinks down, steely fingers outstretched, and…misses the bear by inches, instead plowing deeper through empty space, and then enclosing around one of the smaller hidden prizes below. 
“You got it!” Your voice is excited; you grasp his shoulder and hop and down in victory as the claw rises again, veering towards the drop-bucket. 
“Yeah, but that’s not I wanted,” he grumbles dejectedly. “What is this shit?”
There’s a soft plunk! as the secret object hits the metal chute, and Eddie quickly opens the flap to snatch his prize. It’s a round, plastic container with a pink lid, small enough to fit in your palm; not unlike something you might find in a gumball machine. The plastic is frosted, so you can’t quite make out what’s inside.
“Can I open it?”
Eddie chuckles. “Well, I got it for you, didn’t I? Sorry for winning trash. I was aiming for the bear,” he hooks a thumb back towards the stuffed teddy, still trapped inside his glass enclosure. 
You ignore the little jibe towards your prize, and pop the lid open. Inside is a little plastic ring; fake silver, with a pasted-on rhinestone in place of a diamond. 
Your lips curl up into an involuntary smile as you examine the ring with joy; you love it. Eddie watches you play with the jewelry, mightily endeared. 
“I guess that’s not too bad, huh?”
“Eddie,” you put a hand on his chest, “you could not have won me something better. Thank you for spending your last quarter on me. I’m the luckiest girl in the world, I swear.”
Eddie takes the ring from you, and holds your hand with the other. “May I?” he asks.
You bow your head. “Of course.”
Eddie’s about to slip the ring onto your right index finger, then hesitates. “Actually…I think it may look better over here.”
He switches to your other hand, and slides it onto the ring finger — it’s a bit loose, but you wouldn’t want to wear it any other way. 
Your eyes are wide, sparkling as you beam at him. “I love it. It’s perfect.”
“It won’t be the last ring I put on you, sweetheart.”
Eddie Munson makes good on his promises. Three years to the day, in the exact same container, he gave you another ring just like your old one — except this time it had a real band, with a real jewel, and he did it on bended knee.
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Happy Valentine's Day darlings!! thank you for reading!! xoxo Valentine's Day Special Masterlist
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flanaganfilm · 1 year
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Good day Mr Flanagan. please what does "the rest is confetti" mean to you and in the context it was used in hill house??
Okay, here we go. Buckle up for a long read.
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To answer this, I've got to explain a little bit about what was happening and where I was when I sat down to write episode 10 of The Haunting of Hill House.
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Hill House was not a fun shoot. The picture above is from very early in production, when I was still chubby and happy.
It was my first foray into television. I was absolutely terrified that I'd mess it up. So I'd opted to direct all of the episodes myself, figuring that - if nothing else - I'd have no one else to blame if it went south.
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It was the most grueling professional experience of my career. The shoot was by no means a smooth one, every day was an uphill battle from a budgetary perspective, and between the three giant production entities involved with the production, I spent a lot of time fighting over the creative and logistical elements of the series.
I began losing weight. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.
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By the end of the shoot, I had dropped almost 40 lbs.
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I was very depressed. Every day was a battle, and for the first time in my career, I wasn't excited to go to work in the morning. We were fighting for basic resources, fighting for the show we wanted, and even fighting amongst ourselves by the end. It was grueling.
We hadn't written all of the scripts when we started production. I believe we had finished through episode 7, but the rest of the scripts had to be finished while we were already shooting.
We'd mapped everything out in the writers room, and I had great support on the other episodes, but I was writing the finale solo. I'd thought I'd be able to juggle it with everything else. I quickly fell behind.
I finally got to the script about halfway through production. I'd work on it between takes at the monitor, and then get home to our tiny rental house in Atlanta, where Kate was waiting with our baby son. (One of the rare bright spots of this shoot came when Kate found out she was pregnant about halfway through production. We even named our daughter Theodora, in honor of her origins.)
I'd typically fall down from exhaustion when I got home, but I had to push through it and work on the script. My weekends were spent shotlisting and prepping for upcoming episodes. We didn't have enough time to stay ahead of prep, so every available day was used for that... I went three months without a single day off at one point.
I'd sit up late staring at the script. I was in a dark, dark place. Overwhelmed, exhausted, and feeling like I lived in an eternal present. Each day bled into the next and it didn't feel like there was an end in sight. That feeling of unreality was heightened because we kept returning to the same sets, same locations, and even the same scenes throughout the 100 shooting-day production. Stepping back into the exact room we had shot in days or weeks or even months ago made the whole thing feel absolutely surreal. Making movies is always an non-linear experience, but this one felt particularly so... it was like the days of our lives were happening to us all out of order.
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I remember feeling something like despair creeping into my daily experience on the show. And I remember dwelling on that when I got into the scene work of episode 10.
As I worked through the draft, I recall that despair coloring a lot of what was on the page. My filter was breaking down. There's a monologue at the beginning of the episode where Steven's wife Leigh (played by my dear friend Samantha Sloyan) spews out a torrent of eviscerating insults about Steve's value as a writer. That is just me vomiting onto myself. She was voicing all of my deepest insecurities about myself at the time, and of what I was doing with this series.
She says "Is anything real before you write it, Steve? The things you write about, they're real. Those people are real, their feelings are real, their pain is real - but not to you, is it. Not until you chew it up, digest it, and shit it out onto a piece of paper and even then, it's a pale imitation at best."
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This was the mindset I was in for a lot of the shoot. The writing became a reflection of a lot of that turmoil, and I knew who I was referring to in that monologue - I was talking about my family. I was talking about how much of their lives I'd used as building material for this show. I was talking about the fact that I'd lost two loved ones to suicide, and seen what it had done to my mother in particular. And I knew I was using - possibly even exploiting - those people for this series.
There's a lot of despair in this episode. The Red Room, as we conceived it, was a place that would feed upon those emotions. Grief, sadness, loss... those were the real ghosts of our series, and where our characters find themselves at the start of the finale. They're being slowly digested - eaten alive - by those feelings.
So finally, it came time to write Nell's final scene with her siblings. I knew from the outline we'd constructed in the writers room what this was supposed to accomplish - she was supposed to be their salvation. She was supposed to take all of these feelings that we'd been wrestling with and finally provide catharsis... finally say something that would free everyone.
I remember sitting with a blinking cursor for a long time. The Crain siblings had just turned and seen Nellie standing by the door, and suddenly were able to hear her speak. But what should she say? What would I say? What would I want someone to say to me?
What she ultimately says lays bare a lot of what I was thinking about when it comes to grief. It exists outside of linear time, much as I felt I existed at the time. That sense of eternal present, that sense of a nonlinear eternity of moments and memories - it all came out in her speech to her brothers and sisters.
I remember feeling, looking at my insane present and looking back at my past, how strangely overwhelmed I was by memories. That I wasn't experiencing time in a straight line, and hadn't been for a while - for the better part of a year, I'd felt more like I was standing in a whirlwind of moments. "Our moments fall around us like..." Nell said, and I recall sitting back and trying to find the words.
"Rain," for certain, but there was something too uniform about that. The moments of life as I experienced them weren't that orderly, they weren't that small. They didn't fall the same way. Some sailed by, fast and unremarkable, while others lingered in front of me, twisting and stretching. So it was a good word, but not the right word. I left it on the page though.
"Snow" was my next attempt. Better, in that I imagined the snow blowing in the wind, swirling and dancing and feeling more organic. More chaotic. More like life. But for some reason, the word that stuck with me, the word I felt Nell Crain would connect with was...
"Confetti."
And that was because I was thinking not of Victoria Pedretti at this point, but of Violet McGraw.
Violet played Young Nell, and I wondered what she might have said if she experienced time this way. As an adult, Nell was despairing. Nell was overwhelmed. But as a child... there was an innocence to the word. There was a joy to the word.
I imagined moments falling around her, this little girl with the big smile and the wide eyes. Her moments would be colorful. They would be of different shapes and sizes, some falling fast and some falling slow, flipping and turning and dancing in the air, independent of the others. Sparkling, whirling, doing lazy summersaults as they sauntered down to Earth.
I thought of myself, and of the members of my family. I thought of those we'd lost. I realized what I hoped for them, and for us all, in the end... was to look upon that mosaic of experience, that avalanche of days and minutes and moments... and to smile with some of the joy we had as children.
And this, I thought, was something that gave me hope. This gave me a glimpse of some kind of salvation for them. This was also how I hoped my life might seem if I was a ghost - a cascade of color and light and shape and movement, something I could dance in.
So Nell smiled and said... "or confetti."
It stuck with me. The rest of her monologue gets heavy again, and gets to the real point of the show - the point of the whole series, if I'm honest - and that's forgiveness.
I figured the only thing that would let the Crain children out of the Red Room was to be forgiven. I thought of the losses in my own family, and I thought of what I wished for my mother and for my aunts and uncles and cousins and I tried to pour that into her final words.
"I loved you completely, and you loved me the same," she said, "that's all." And this was the point I wanted the most to make. That at the end of our life, if we can say this about each other, the rest doesn't matter. The rest is that rainstorm, or that blizzard, that fell around this one central truth, and maybe built itself in piles around it, to the point we lost sight of it along the way.
And I thought again of that little girl, and almost as an afterthought, wrote "The rest is confetti."
I liked the way it sounded, but I was insecure about the line. I almost took it out, in fact. I remember asking Kate to read the scene and talking about that last line with her. "Is it too cute?" I wondered. She was on the fence. "Depends on how it's acted," she said, and I figured she was right. We could always take it out if it didn't work. The scene could end with "I loved you completely, and you loved me the same. That's all."
Why not shoot it and see what happened.
I turned in the script, we published it quickly so that we could start breaking it down and prepping it. And the next morning I was back on set. I'd deal with episode 10 when it came down the pipe again, sometime in the coming months. We had a lot of shooting to get through before I had to worry about it.
I recall Netflix asking me to cut a lot of that monologue, and I remember them also having questions about the "confetti" line. I pointed out that it didn't cost us any extra to shoot it all, it was only words, and fought to keep the script intact.
Ultimately, they insisted I make a series of cuts on the page. I begrudgingly agreed, but left Nell's speech alone. I made superficial cuts around it, throughout the draft, and even considered changing the font size to fool them into thinking it had gotten shorter (I ultimately was told I wouldn't fool anyone and not to risk starting a war). But Nellie's final goodbye stayed intact.
It must be said - Victoria Pedretti SLAUGHTERED this scene.
By the time we got around to filming it, things had never been worse for the production. There was almost nothing left for a lot of us. Tensions were sky-high, resources had been exhausted completely, and we were all ready to give up.
Filming in the mold-ridden Red Room was depressing, morose, and led to a lot of arguments and unpleasantness. The room itself just felt gross, always, and we were in there for days at a time. The last thing we had to shoot in there was Nellie's goodbye.
Victoria came to set having to push through pages of monologue, and she did so with captivating bravado. I recall being teary-eyed at the monitor watching her work. And when we finally made it to the last line, I watched her deliver it with... a smile. A sincere, innocent, longing, joyful smile. A smile informed by the sadness, grief, and loss of her own situation, of her own life... but a smile that finds forgiveness and grace after all. Pedretti knew how to say the line, and how that word would work.
And as she said it, I knew it would stay in the show.
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Over the years, that sentence has become something of a tagline for The Haunting of Hill House. I'm always a bit mystified and touched when I see people approach me with the line on T-shirts, or even tattooed on their bodies.
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I started signing it with autographs back in 2020 after enough fans asked me to. Now it's my go-to when I sign anything related to Hill House.
The line, for me, represents a lot of things.
It's about the insane, chaotic, non-linear experience of making that show. It's about trying to find and hold onto joy, even in the grips of despair.
It's about the way the moments of our lives aren't linear, not really, and how we may be unable to understand them as we exist in their flurry. It's about finding hope, innocence and forgiveness in the final reckoning.
And it's about how, outside of our love for each other, the rest is just... well, it's fleeting. It's colorful. It's overwhelming. It's blinding. It's dancing. And, if we look at it right, it's beautiful. But it's also light. It's tinsel. It flits and dances and falls and fades, it's as light as air.
The rest is the stuff that falls around us, and flits away into nothing.
It's the love that stays.
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red-riding-wood · 20 days
Text
PSA - Community Predator
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Over a series of months, myself and other Tumblr users -- fic writers, gif makers, fans of created content -- have been victimised by @mrkdvidal1989, who has extensively lied about who he is, preyed on multiple women and denied involvement -- therefore ruining friendships, reputations and feelings, and promised me life-saving medical treatment that he never followed through on.
More information including mine and their stories under the cut.
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The reason I am going public with this is twofold:
A) To protect others from being hurt. He is known to reach out to many tumblr users, especially young women in the Cillian Murphy fandom -- but he may have a wider reach beyond this circle. B) Since his "disappearance" three weeks ago and the unravelling of his lies, this man has ruined my life and the only hope I had of obtaining treatment for a condition that has been plaguing me for four years.
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Killian Vidal is the name he has chosen to give us, and has claimed to be both a officer commander and general in the mobility troop in the SAS (the general rank does not even exist), has beaten cancer a while ago (but said to another mutual that his "time was running out" and he is currently struggling with it), and a plethora of other life experiences and general knowledge about him that varies in consistency when talking to different people and is questionable in its validity. He has also shared pictures of "himself" that when reverse image searched, belong to different people.
I got to know Kill when he reblogged one of my fanfics (as the story seems to start with a lot of his victims) and he reached out via DMs. We quickly became close friends who called nearly every day on Discord and when I told him about my health issues, he immediately offered to pay for my medical treatment wherever I could find willing doctors.
I was hesitant to believe this at first since all of this seemed too good to be true (and was). He claimed to be very wealthy, enough to afford private jets like it was nothing and to rent me an apartment in the UK in the same building as him. Over time, I grew to trust him because he felt like such a genuine person and friend, which was made all the more believable by the fact that he has such a huge following on Tumblr and was, at the time, part of a vast social network of fans and friends (one of which he even claimed to know IRL -- who will remain anonymous unless they decide to speak out). I decided to ignore the little red flags because I was so desperate to receive this treatment that for me would be life-saving.
For four years, I have been plagued by an array of (mostly) undiagnosed digestive issues that have made my life almost unbearable and have on numerous occasions nearly killed me due to malnutrition. I've spent months in hospital, endured years of malpractice and misdiagnoses, undergone heart surgery, and have tried absolutely everything I can to get better. In the winter of 2023, I was told by my doctor that I was refused in the TPN program (a treatment that may have slowed or stopped my weight loss) and that with or without it, I was looking at mortality. Refusing to stop fighting but having exhausted the public health care system in Canada, I went into 2024 not really having much hope of anything anymore.
So, when Kill came along, that changed. He promised -- and I mean, from the bottom of his heart, promised -- that he would help me get treatment, that he would get me out of my abusive home and fly me to the UK, that he would be there for me as my friend, etc. I was beyond grateful, and as my trust with him built, so did my hope.
The travel plans kept getting put off; originally, he would fly me out as soon as the apartment became available, which was the 11th of Feb, 2024. He kept finding excuses to not book the jet. Finally, it seemed as if around the 15th/16th I would be flying. My health had been declining rapidly and the situation was becoming all the more urgent, and he said he was in contact with a pilot and would send the ticket soon and call me.
That was the last I heard from him. The 16th.
Initially thinking he had ended his life (he had discussed thoughts of suicide with me prior to this), I was beside myself with worry not only thinking one of my closest friends was gone but also that my chance at life was. I reached out to his other friends, and I made several calls to the UK authorities and emergency services and ended up requesting a welfare check be made to see if he was even alive.
They reported that no one under the name Killian Vidal was in the records of the building name he gave me -- the same building that I was meant to live in within that week.
After reaching out to my now beloved friend @kittenonpluto (A.K.A., Cas) on Tumblr, I learned that Kill was in fact alive, and had told her that he was in hospital for digestive issues in Indianopolis, United States (though again, no record of his name in their medical system). He still wouldn't talk to me, but told her to tell me that he would reach out when he was out of hospital.
Cas and I compared information he'd told us (her story will be attached to this post) and looked into the mystery more. He constantly dodged confrontation and questions about the fake photos and information he'd sent her, and seemed to use his completely fabricated hospitalisation as an excuse to not fulfil his promises to myself and her, as well as a means to garner sympathy.
It was quite obvious that he didn't know how the American medical system worked, and he even incorporated elements of my actual story and used them in his. When asked about his treatments, he responded with medically false information. He reported digestive issues, reflux, and having both an NG tube and TPN -- both of which I have experience with -- and let me say, I am beyond disgusted and infuriated that my real life trauma was used as a ploy in all this.
How do we know for a fact this is false? I checked the police case for his welfare check again, and they said that they confirmed him being in the UK at the same time he had told Cas he was in hospital in the States.
After a final confrontation from both Cas and myself (and a desperate final plea for the medical aid he promised me), he was never heard from again from either of us or our friend circles.
I'm now having to pick up the pieces he's left me in and to be honest, I have little to no idea of what the hell to do or how to save myself. The fact that he strung me along for a month and built up my hope that I was going to live only to abandon me without even a word is deplorable to me.
And mine isn't the only story. I've heard from four women on Tumblr (who, again, will remain anonymous unless they choose to speak out) who he has been romantic or sexually involved with (and lied about his involvement, made them out to seem insane or toxic, created rifts in our friendships, toyed with their emotions, and made false promises to of relationships, marriage, and finances).
And that's not including the ex-wife who came back to Tumblr to claim that her and Kill had never met nor married. She was promptly silenced by a "lawyer threat" that we have strong reason to believe was a bluff.
At the end of the day, there are so many lies, half-truths, inconsistencies, etc. this man has wrapped himself in and we don't know for the life of us what his motives are, but from the information that we do know is false, he isn't genuine. He toys with people. He hurts them. Myself and the others that have been affected by this want that to stop.
And at any point, he has the ability to make a new account, and take on a new persona, pretend to be someone else. Tumblr is a wonderful place and I have met so many cool people on here, but please be careful about who you interact with and what you share, because aside from making this post, it is beyond my power to stop him from doing what he does. But after what he did to me, I could not remain silent.
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Other Stories
If you have an experience or story with Killian that you would like heard, please reblog it on this thread or make a post. With your consent, I can include a link to it below.
kittenonpluto's story
aurorag98's story
everyoneisawhore's story
your-nanas-house's story
hllywdwhre's story
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Final Note
Lastly, if you have read this far, thank you.
If you want to reach out to me about this issue -- whether it's to anonymously share your experience, ask questions, ask for evidence (of which I can back up these statements with), or anything at all --, please do not hesitate to do so. <3
For those who may be worried about the potential legality of this post, everything that I have stated as fact is fact and it is not my intention to slander or spread false information.
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megalony · 2 months
Text
Have You Slept
This is an Evan Buckley imagine based on a request and I am hoping to make it into a little series if anyone would like that. Any feedback is always amazing, I really loved writing this one.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz
911 Masterlist
Summary: Evan invites the team to meet his wife and twins who he is very protective over. As one of the boys is autistic and (Y/n) happens to have narcolepsy.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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"…It'll be great, Buck you're coming this time right?"
Evan paused a few feet away from the dining table in the station annex. He let his fingers continue to card through his wet locks that were forming into curls, flopping about near his forehead. He'd just had a shower and was ready to gulp down some lunch ready for whenever the bell sounded for their next call out.
He seemed to have missed the first part to whatever conversation was running rampid in the kitchen.
With a small, if confused smile, Evan walked over to the table and sat down opposite Eddie and Hen. He darted his eyes between the pair of them and Bobby and Chimney who were stood in the kitchen, finishing up grabbing plates and cutlery.
Evan had been working at the station for roughly a year now and it had been the best job he'd ever had. This had been the quickest that he had made friends in a new job and felt like he really fitted in with his co-workers. He could call these people his family, Bobby was more of a parent to Evan than his own parents were.
He felt at home with his work mates, unlike the other random jobs he'd had in the past like being a bar tender or the brief stint he had at being a bouncer. He didn't connect with people in those jobs and he didn't feel like he was making a difference like he did working at the fire house. But some things didn't change, like Evan's desire to keep his life separate from his work.
Working at the station made Evan feel excited about each new day on shift and he felt like these people were his family. They were a safe group of people to work alongside and call his friends.
"My uh, my first what?" He leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows on the table with his hands tangled together.
The way Eddie grinned across at him and the knowing smile on Bobby's face made Evan relax and manage a smile himself. It couldn't be anything bad or somewhat awkward if they were being so relaxed about it.
"We were just talking about the annual summer party the station has every year. It happens to be next week."
"Oh, yeah."
It didn't seem that long ago that they had all been having a barbeque a month or so back.
Evan remembered when he first started at the station they had been throwing a big party here but he didn't feel close enough to anyone to attend. Then there had been the halloween party, the pictures made it look like a successful night, but Evan didn't go to that one either. Finn didn't like halloween so Evan had made sure he had the night off to stay home.
And as for the Christmas party they had, Evan had been on shift that night and he wasn't really bothered about attending so he was happy to work while everyone else went out partying.
They seemed to make any excuse to have a party, not that Evan was complaining. He'd never had parties at any other places he worked at before. This was a pleasant change.
Bobby had talked about them always doing a Christmas party and finding a few extra people to cover the shifts so the 118 could go all out and enjoy the festivities. Evan guessed they would do that for the summer party too, find more staff to cover so as many regular staff as possible could attend.
"Yes we are, and I'm hosting this year." Bobby grinned as he set down a large bowl of lasagne in the middle of the table and took his usual seat next to Evan.
Usually they had as many parties as they could in the station to promote families being around and being included. But they couldn't have a summer party indoors. It was the middle of the summer and that meant they needed to be outside, in the sun and the sweltering heat. It was more of an occasion when a party was at someone's house and Bobby and Athena were always up for hosting parties.
"Are you gonna come to this one?" Hen reached across the table and started to dish up the lasagne onto everyone's plate but her smile was directed at Evan. They always invited him but he hadn't attended one of their parties yet.
It was strange for the team to have someone like Evan in their midst. Someone who was so bubbly, excitable and eager and like a bubble of fun. He was one of them, well and truly, but he was still somewhat distant with the team. They were only just beginning to learn about Evan's private life. They knew he had a turbulent relationship with his parents. They knew he was married and had two kids but Evan didn't talk about them that much.
They had only just met Evan's wife last month and that was a flying visit. Eddie was the only one out of the whole team who knew (Y/n) because he had been to Evan's house and Evan and (Y/n) had taken care of Chris a few times.
"I guess I could swing by for a while."
"Really?"
A bubble of adrenaline sparked up in Evan's chest and he nodded when Hen sounded so enthusiastic and Eddie grinned and gave him a thumbs up. They wanted him there. They really wanted to be around him and interact with him. Evan guessed they really were becoming his family now.
"Can I bring my family with me?" Evan almost felt guilty for asking but if he was going to do this, he wanted his family there with him. He knew parties meant bringing loved ones along but he wanted to be sure, he would never want to turn up and then feel like no one wanted his family around.
Everyone had been kind to (Y/n) when Evan brought her to the station and he was glad she was starting to become friends with the people he classed as his family.
Evan knew his wife wasn't very outgoing so it was nice for her to be around more people.
"Of course you can, kid. Our parties are for everyone, we're all one big family here and you're included in that. Bring whoever you like." Bobby clapped a hand down on Evan's shoulder and nodded at him reassuringly. They all brought their families round, it was a party, an occasion to be together and have fun and games and eat and just be together without the threat of having to rush off on a call.
"I was wondering…" Evan looked down at his plate before he glanced up. This was something he had been wanting to ask everyone and now was a better time than ever. "If you'd all like to come round for dinner, with my family? It'd be easier to get to know them before the party."
It would be a lot easier for everyone if the team could come over to Evan's house and meet (Y/n) and the boys first before he brought them to the party. (Y/n) and Finn didn't last long at parties for various reasons and Cole would be the only one who would be fine to stay for hours.
Evan wanted them all to get along and know each other like Eddie knew (Y/n) and the boys. Evan wanted that relationship with all the team. They were his family now and they meant the world to him.
Evan knew (Y/n) was already excited at the prospect of getting to know the people Evan worked with. She felt like she already knew them from the stories Evan told her when he came home from shift and her first meeting with the team had gone great. It was (Y/n)'s idea for Evan to invite them round for tea one day so they could all get together in a relaxed setting. And Evan wanted that to happen now before the party so at the party, everyone would be more familiar.
"That sounds lovely, you have two boys, don't you?" Hen never wanted to push the subject of family when she was around Evan.
She didn't want to make him feel like he had to open up and talk about his private life if he didn't want to. But when Evan talked to them in a few calm moments, he had said he had two boys with (Y/n). He didn't say much else though, not their names or their age and (Y/n) hadn't mentioned when they saw her a few weeks back.
"Yeah, we've got twins, Cole and Finn. They're four… um, I know you guys won't make a fuss, but just so you know, Finn's autistic. He's non-verbal."
Evan glanced his eyes around the table. Eddie and Chimney knew. Eddie had met the boys before and Chimney was close to Maddie who was close to the boys. He needed to tell them now before they came round and got a little surprise when they met the twins.
"He doesn't speak?" Chimney kept a smile on his face and tried to control his tone so Evan didn't think he was being rude. He didn't know anyone with an autistic child and all of them knew disabilities varied.
"Oh, no he… he won't say words, but he isn't exactly quiet. He babbles. A lot of random noises, and if he wants something he'll just grab you and take you to it. He loves meeting new people, he's taking a liking to Eddie."
Finn didn't say a lot of words. He could say a few things like his name or a mushed up version of random, compiled words. And Finn could understand every word spoken to him, he just couldn't quite talk yet but they were hoping he could start to learn soon. He would make a lot of noises, squealing when he was happy, screaming when he was sad. A lot of high pitch babbling when he was playing or concentrating or just happy.
When he first met Eddie, Finn attached himself to him. He took his hand and guided him into the kitchen and waited patiently for Eddie to make him a drink. Then he followed him around like a little shadow, always wanting to be close and entertained by him.
"I can't wait to meet him."
"Oh… and uh, no one has a problem with dogs, do they?" Evan glanced around the table as a light bulb went off in his head.
He'd almost forgotten about Dodger.
"Wow, full house, twins and a dog?" Bobby pushed his plate away and moved to grab his drink. It had been a while since Bobby had had a full house with Harry going to stay with his dad a lot and May getting ready to move out.
"Dodger's a service dog, for (Y/n) so if he starts barking or circling, don't mind him."
"What kind of service?" Hen could think of at least five different reasons someone would have a service dog and she wouldn't want to presume anything. But since Evan was opening up, she thought it might be good to get him talking to them. (Y/n) hadn't brought her service dog into the station when Evan introduced them, but Hen figured that was because Evan hadn't been on shift those days.
"(Y/n)'s got narcolepsy, random sleep attacks and cataplexy. You're all in for a treat when you come round mine next week."
***
Evan rolled his lips together and tilted his head to the side when he walked into the kitchen. His eyes darted between Dodger and (Y/n) before he slowly walked over to them both.
(Y/n) was stood near the sink, two glasses and two beer bottles in front of her. She looked like she was re-filling the drinks for everyone, but her hands were subtly shaking on the counter and she was stood motionless. When Evan looked down at Dodger, he could see the golden brown Labrador was sat faithfully at her left side. Nudging his nose against her leg and shifting his front feet around like he was tap-dancing.
A jolt ran through (Y/n)'s stomach and her chest tingled when a strong pair of arms bound around her waist. She tilted her head back onto Evan's shoulder and glanced up at him, moving a little so she could catch his jaw with a kiss.
"You spaced, sweetheart." He spoke quietly against the top of her head while his hands danced over her stomach and slipped beneath her shirt to feel her bump.
"Hm," Her head tilted to push into the crook of Evan's neck and she moved her hands to cup his wrists.
With her narcolepsy, (Y/n) had a lot of side effects. Whenever she or Evan told people about her condition, they immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was lazy or just had a lot of naps during the day.
No one seemed to realise the side effects it had. (Y/n) had to schedule her sleep, go to bed at roughly the same time and try to get up at the same time each day to regulate her body clock. She was excessively tired most days. She had random sleep attacks that could be for a few seconds or a few minutes or even longer, they didn't always happen. (Y/n) could go three or five days or even a week or longer without an attack of any length.
It affected her dreams, she had vivid dreams, horrid nightmares, she acted out and lashed out in her sleep and unintentionally rolled onto Evan or hit him by mistake. She got sleep paralysis quite often.
Headaches were continuous. And narcolepsy came with cataplexy, which was where she had sudden loss of muscle control. That could be her jaw slacking, her head dropping forward, her legs going numb and giving out on her. Slurred speech or difficulty focusing or paying attention.
"You okay?" Evan spoke into her hair and leaned his cheek against the top of her head.
"Yeah, didn't last long."
She hadn't spaced out for long. It didn't happen too often that (Y/n) had microsleeps where she would either close her eyes or her eyes would stay open but her mind would shut down for a few seconds. It could last between ten seconds to a few minutes for a microsleep but (Y/n) didn't get them very often.
"Have you slept today?" Evan kept one arm curved tight around (Y/n)'s stomach while he reached across the counter and finished pouring the two glasses of juice (Y/n) had started.
Routines for sleep helped (Y/n) and she tried not to take naps during the day to keep a regular sleep schedule. But now she was pregnant again, she was trying to take at least one small nap during the day. It stopped her feeling so tired and lessened the chances of random sleep attacks. It was hard enough looking after the twins when they weren't at nursery, (Y/n) didn't need to collapse in front of them.
"Not today," She hadn't had chance to take a nap today, not with the boys being pumped up and excited about having people over for dinner. There was a lot for (Y/n) to prepare and get ready and now the team were here, there was no way she could take a power nap now.
(Y/n) slowly turned around in Evan's arms and pressed her hips up against the counter while her hands roamed up and down his chest. She loved the way his hands squeezed her hips and tried to slip beneath her leggings until she shimmied to stop him.
"We have guests- Finn, what are you doing to uncle Eddie?" Her hands scrunched up into Evan's shirt when he stood closer between her legs.
But both their heads turned to look over at the kitchen doorway when Finn appeared. He had a wide grin on his features, obscured by his thumb that he was biting down on. And his other hand was tightly gripping Eddie's hand as he dragged him from the conservatory where they were having dinner and brought him all the way through into the kitchen.
Eddie had his free hand on his hip, but he was happy to be shown around by Finn. The moment Eddie walked through the door, Finn had attached himself to his leg while Cole had gone straight to Bobby because he knew he was the Captain at the station.
Evan leaned closer into (Y/n) and grinned when Finn toddled past him and dragged Eddie behind him like he was a dog on a leash.
He moved towards the fridge and stood in front of it, pointing up at the fridge as he started to make a noise that sounded somewhat like 'wow' over and over.
"What're you after?" Eddie leaned down and scooped Finn up into his arms so he could look into the fridge and find what he clearly wanted. When Finn pointed to the small cartons of apple juice, Eddie held one out towards (Y/n) and waited for a nod of approval before he handed it over to Finn and set him back down to his feet.
Evan held out one of the beer bottles towards Eddie on his way past following after Finn.
"Shall we?" He mumbled quietly in (Y/n)'s ear, keeping his arm tight around her waist as he grabbed the two glasses in one hand while (Y/n) got the other beer bottle. She leaned her back into Evan's chest while Dodger trotted faithfully by her side.
She didn't always take Dodger out with her but she did if Evan wasn't with her. The moment he started working at the fire station, Evan started to worry. (Y/n) was at home alone with twin boys, one of whom was always on his feet and quite a handful. He didn't like the thought of (Y/n) collapsing or hurting herself or falling unconscious with toddlers around and no one to help.
Dodger solved that problem. He could sense (Y/n)'s heartbeat and if her heartbeat dropped, then she was about to fall asleep. He whined and cried and nudged her arm or circled around her legs to get her to sit down. If she dropped or fell, Dodger would try and let her fall on him so he could nudge her onto the floor. And if (Y/n) had a microsleep, he circled around her so if they were in public, people knew something was wrong. Dodger would bark at any stranger that tried to come near or touch (Y/n).
They headed into the conservatory and (Y/n) placed the beer down in front of Bobby before she passed behind him to sit down next to Hen.
"Do you drive the truck too?" Cole leaned back in his seat and looked up from the toy truck in his hand towards Hen who was sat on his right. He was happily wedged between Hen and Chimney while Bobby, Evan and Eddie on the other side of the table. And Finn was happily sat on Evan's knee, although his focus was mainly on Eddie.
"Sometimes, but I normally drive the ambulance."
"Can daddy drive the ambulance?" He looked between Hen and Bobby, waiting patiently for an answer as he had been asking questions since the moment they arrived.
"We don't let your dad drive, he's Mr speedy."
Evan tilted his head up with a proud smile when Cole grinned and murmured "I like daddy's driving." He put his truck down next to him on the table near Chimney and started to eat his dinner again.
"That's only because I don't drive." (Y/n) glanced her head up and bit her lip when Evan's foot glided up her leg and nudged her in the knee in retaliation. The boys weren't used to anyone but Evan and Maddie driving them around, and it was mainly Evan.
If they went out with (Y/n) she had to walk or take the bus and wear her sunflower lanyard just in case she had an episode while they were out. The boys were used to Evan driving so if he cut the corners or went a bit fast, that was a normality to them and they felt safe with Evan because they were used to his driving. (Y/n) couldn't drive, she had never taken lessons and never could. It would be too dangerous.
"So, how far along are you?"
"Five and a half months." (Y/n) absentmindedly smoothed her hand across her abdomen as she smiled across at Hen. She leaned across the table for a piece of garlic bread and held one out to Finn. The four year old was currently stood up on Evan's lap, leaning back into his chest with their heads pressed together. It would make for a lovely photo since Finn was grinning madly.
"So we've only got Buck for another three months then?" Bobby knew Evan would be asking him for annual leave soon. Evan wanted to get his time off sorted out now so it was set in stone. He had to be home for at least two weeks after the baby was born. When (Y/n) had the twins she hadn't been well at all and Evan didn't want that happening again with him not being able to stay home and help her.
"Afraid so."
"I don't know how you're all gonna cope without me."
Evan leaned his head to the left and a soft smile flooded his face when Finn started to kiss his hair. He began making a bopping sound while his hands rested on Evan's shoulders to keep himself stood upright on his dad's lap.
A new line of conversation flooded the air and Evan tried to keep focused and chip in but his eyes kept landing on (Y/n) across the table.
She had her chin resting on her hand with her elbow propped up on the table and her other hand was on her stomach. But it was the dazed look in her eyes that worried him. She wasn't talking either and if she started to drift, she might end up having another microsleep.
He moved his leg beneath the table and rubbed his foot up against her knee to try and grab her attention. The action made (Y/n)'s lips twitch and she lifted her eyes to look at Evan before she tried to look back at Hen for the conversation. She had one of her usual headaches. She had been feeling a lot more drowsy and tired lately and she knew it was because of the baby.
(Y/n) didn't feel so ashamed or embarrassed now to say that she was overly tired or that she needed to start taking naps during the day again. She was pregnant and was already looking after twins.
She always used to feel like she needed excuses to be tired, so people wouldn't think she was lazy. Evan always put her mind at rest. She had a condition that couldn't be cured or helped, it could only be controlled. And Evan never wanted (Y/n) to feel like she had to find excuses to explain the way she felt. Especially not around him.
"Thank you." Evan whispered quietly when Finn kissed his temple and leaned over to hug him. He moved his hands from his dad's shoulders to wrap them around Evan's neck and he giggled when Evan started to sway them from side to side.
Whenever Finn couldn't sleep ever since he was a toddler, Evan used to pace up and down the room swaying him back and forth. Evan barely got whiplash or felt dizzy from the hundreds of times he had gone in circles because the motion was so soothing to Finn.
Evan smiled as Chimney started to go into the long-winded reasoning behind his nickname.
But his smile started to drop when he heard Dodger suddenly bark.
Evan lifted his head and leaned towards Eddie on his left to try and look over the end of the table. Dodger was prancing his weight between his front feet and he started to nudge his nose and mouth against (Y/n)'s thigh. That meant he was sensing (Y/n)'s heartbeat starting to drop.
She was going to fall asleep.
"Sweetheart-" Evan bolted up from his seat when (Y/n)'s head slipped off her hand and dropped forward.
Her arm flopped down onto the table with a loud thud but before her head could land in her dinner, Evan swiftly caught her. He juggled Finn in his left arm, keeping the toddler pinned against his chest while his right hand pressed against (Y/n)'s temple. He leaned his hips into the table and leaned across, trying to stop himself from landing in anyone's dinner.
His thumb swiped across (Y/n)'s hairline while he tensed his elbow to keep his arm straight and hold (Y/n)'s weight up. He could feel her chest digging into the edge of the table, she had gone fully limp which meant this was more than a microsleep like she'd had earlier.
"Wow, hey I've got her. Good catch." Hen placed her hand over Evan's on (Y/n)'s temple and swooped her free arm around (Y/n)'s shoulders so he could carefully reel her back. She leaned (Y/n) back in her chair and held the back of her neck so her head didn't flop back and cause her any neck pain.
Eddie wordlessly reached out to take Finn while Evan scooted round the back of the chairs and moved next to (Y/n)'s chair.
"Good boy." Evan clicked his tongue and pointed until Dodger backed up and sat near the conservatory door just behind (Y/n)'s chair. He knew to move back when Evan was around but he always stayed dutifully close just in case he was still needed.
Evan pushed up on his knees and rubbed one hand up and down (Y/n)'s knee while he cradled the side of her neck in his other hand. He let her head loll to the side so she was facing him and he pressed his fingers over pulse just to check it was still steady and calm.
"Can we do anything?"
"She'll come round in a minute, she's fine."
He leaned over to kiss (Y/n)'s shoulder while he waited. It didn't usually take long for her to come back around. Evan had only had it once where (Y/n) had a sleep attack that lasted half an hour. That was the longest he had ever known (Y/n) to have an attack for and it had scared the daylights out of him.
"Mummy falls asleep but dad always catches her." Cole grinned up at Chimney before he glanced down at the other end of the table.
It was a normality for the twins. Cole was used to seeing his mum space out or see her stumble when her legs gave out from her cataplexy or when she head-dropped frequently like this. He had been brought up to know it was normal for his mum and that it wasn't scary or dangerous and he knew how to help if it happened when they were alone. And Cole always knew his dad would look after (Y/n) when it happened.
Finn didn't seem to take much notice. He had grown up around this happening so it wasn't frightening for him. He would just sit by (Y/n) and wait for it to wear off which was a relief for Evan to know it never scarred Finn or sent him into a meltdown.
"There we go," Evan's thumb brushed across (Y/n)'s cheek and he smiled when a small groan murmured past her lips.
Her head leaned into the palm of his hand and her eyes started to flutter and blink rapidly. A headache burned behind her eyes and spots danced in front of (Y/n)'s eyes when she managed to focus her sights on Evan. She must have dropped off for him to of moved so quickly down in front of her like this.
A shiver rolled down her arm when she felt Hen gently take her left wrist and check her pulse out of habit.
"I- sorry… how long?" (Y/n) tilted her chin down into her chest and tried to clear the fuzzy feeling from her head. It always felt like her head was being filled with air and the blood drained down to her toes. She shakily reached her hand up to hold Evan's wrist and brush her thumb across the back of his hand.
But when she looked over at Eddie, her expression dropped as he checked his watch. "Half an hour."
"Oi! Don't panic her like that." Evan reached behind him and swatted his hand out against Eddie's knee who rose a brow and grinned. He knew (Y/n) couldn't tell how long she had zoned out for and she hated to have an episode in front of friends in case it did last a while and she ruined things. "You were out for a minute, baby. That's all."
Leaning forward, Evan kissed her shoulder before he reached out and grabbed the stool in the corner. He dragged it across so he could sit at the end of the table close to (Y/n). Now she had had one episode, she was liable to have another and he wanted to sit nearby ready for if another happened and he had to catch her again.
Evan had acquired lightning reflexes since being with (Y/n) and he thought of it as his super power, being able to catch her before she fell or her head dropped.
He curved his arm around her waist and gripped her thigh soothingly while (Y/n) held his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Does it happen often?"
"It's not as bad as it used to be… when I had the twins my cataplexy flared up every day." (Y/n) shivered at the thought. She could still remember when she was pregnant with the twins and the amount of times her head would drop or her legs would give way.
She remembered having to call Evan at work and ask him to come home because she'd had an episode and her head had slammed so hard and fast into the dining table that she gave herself a nosebleed that wouldn't stop.
At least with this pregnancy, so far things felt a little easier and her cataplexy wasn't playing up nearly as much.
Eddie leaned back in his chair and looked up at Finn when he started to babble something. The four year old began tapping his palm against his lips, making an odd popping sound that distorted whatever he was trying to say. Usually Finn's sounds weren't related to anything he wanted, he would make happy sounds or mush up words but if he wanted something he would just point.
"What's up mister?" He bounced Finn on his hip until Finn stood up on his thighs and pointed his hand over at Evan and (Y/n). "What… do you want your dad?"
Evan leaned back against (Y/n)'s chair and grinned over at his boy, but the smile faded from his face immediately when Fin started to babble.
"Daddy. Daddy, daddy. Daddy."
"Oh my God," (Y/n) pushed forward in her chair, bracing her hands on the table as she darted her eyes between Finn and Evan. She needed confirmation that she'd just heard that correctly. Did he just say that?
"What?… You said he babbles-"
"Yeah but he's never said my name before." Evan ran his fingers through his hair before he pushed up from the table. "He's never said a proper word- he's said my name!"
Finn didn't speak. That was why Evan had told the team beforehand about Finn being autistic and non-verbal. He could say something that sounded similar to his name which usually came out as 'min-min' when he babbled. He made a lot of strange and happy sounds and 'ow-wow' noises but Finn didn't pronounce or speak.
The doctor had said there was every possible chance that in the future and when he went to a school that focused on speech and language, Finn had a good chance of talking. He might not say full sentences or pronounce properly, but there was a chance of him talking. He could understand words. Finn knew every word that was spoken to him and he could comprehend speech and conversations he just didn't respond.
(Y/n) could feel the tears welling up in her eyes when Evan bolted up from his seat and leaned across the table to take Finn from Eddie.
He settled Finn on his chest and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, unable to stop the broad smile from lighting up his face. He sat back down next to (Y/n) and started tickling Finn who continued to repeat 'daddy' so loud and fast it mushed together and came out all jumbled. But when he started to tap his hand on Evan's shoulder, it just cemented that he knew what he was saying.
He knew who Evan was and how to say his name.
(Y/n) perched her chin on Evan's shoulder and pressed her lips to his neck while she heard the rest of the team cheering. Evan was never going to let her live this down. He wasn't going to let her forget that Finn said his name first. That his first word, his first big achievement, was saying Evan's name.
"Daddy."
"Clever boy."
473 notes · View notes
littlejuicebox · 1 month
Note
GINAAA MY GIRL!
Sending you a dadstarion prompt because you already know I LOVEEE your dadstarion content.
How did Tav find out she was pregnant with baby Gale? And how did Astarion react to the news?! Inquiring minds want to know.
To have and to hold.
Such a lovely prompt, my friend! Hope you like it!
Summary: Astarion turned mortal a few months ago, and this is his first-time experiencing illness of any kind. Unfortunately, as soon as he recovers, you start to show signs of sickness as well. Your condition is a bit different from his, though. (For more of this series check out the ‘Dadstarion’ section of my master list.)
Tags/Warnings: Dadstarion, domestic af, fluff, talk of illness, talk of vomiting, the mildest of angst with the mostest of comfort, pregnancy, etc.
A/N: I work in healthcare, not law, so I can’t guarantee the legalese is accurate lol.
Word count: 2.3K
-----
“Don’t come closer, darling, I’m disgusting.” Astarion groans from where you find him one morning, curled up on the bathroom floor.
It had been a few months since Gale of Waterdeep cast Wish, and from that moment until now the retired rogue had been a happy, healthy mortal. There were so many benefits to curing his vampirism that the elf never fully considered one of the major downsides… illness.
He’d never experienced a malady like this in his life. At least not in the one he could remember.
It’s horrible.
How had his little love or any of his friends endured this, more than once, in the past ten years?
Astarion is quite certain he contracted food poisoning from that questionable slab of salmon he ate at the Blushing Mermaid yesterday evening. He never did understand why you liked eating at that lowbrow tavern in the first place.
You crouch to examine your husband, pressing a soothing hand onto his forehead before running it down to cup his cheek.
“Astarion, my love, you have a fever.” You murmur, frowning with concern as you push sweaty curls from his face.
“Please make more obvious observations, dear,” Astarion gripes as he forces himself to sit up, still clutching his stomach. Gods, the vile churning in his gut is incessant.
He’s about to continue on with his quip, but the sudden urge to be sick forces the elf to shut up and scramble to the toilet. You hear the sounds of violent retching moments later.
“We are never going back to the Blushing Mermaid,” Astarion grumbles once the wave of illness subsides. His face is pressed against the toilet; all sense of decorum is gone. The rotten fish poisoning his insides won over any bits of pride he might have been clinging to.
You move to grab a wash rag, dampening it under the tap before kneeling back down by your husband.
“Poor thing,” You coo, folding the cloth in half before dabbing it against the back of Astarion’s neck, hoping to ease the fever.
The elf’s eyes flutter closed as he allows you to fawn over him for a moment. And then he groans and flicks his hand, palm faced downward, as if trying to shoo you away. His voice is hoarse when he says, “Just leave me here and go get ready for your meeting, darling. I’ll be fine.”
“In sickness and in health, remember?” You ask, running the cool cloth over Astarion’s face, causing him to sigh thankfully at the slight relief, “I’ll send word to the other Counsellors to inform them that I won’t be attending. You’ve never been ill before; I don’t want to leave you like this. Wyll can fill me in later.”
“Yes, ‘in sickness and in health’ and all that, darling, but those vows also included ‘until death do us part’ and I was an immortal vampire when we made them. So you were technically entering that verbal contract under false pretenses, which one could argue means it’s null and void. Go to the meeting, it’s—“
Astarion almost manages to finish his rambling legalese before more putrid liquid spews out of his mouth. When he’s finished vomiting, he whines again, any bit of stubborn resilience and feeble attempts at selflessness abandoned.
“On second thought, maybe you should stay here,” He says, his chest heaving with exertion as he clenches his eyes shut, “Please tell me you have a spell for this.”
“Unfortunately not, my love. I only have a spell for curses. Best I can do is half a bottle of Elixir of Health, some ginger-peppermint tea, and a bath.” You sigh, already crossing the bathroom on your way to the tub. You fiddle with the taps for a moment to start the bath and then begin to pour oils into the flowing water.
“Deal,” Your husband mutters, peeling off his sweat-soaked night shirt, “But none of that vile honey you got at the market here in town for my tea; I want the one Shadowheart and Lae’zel sent from Neverwinter.”
“Anything you say, Lord Ancunin.” You joke, rolling your eyes at your husband’s fussiness. He’d barely regained his sense of taste a few months ago and already favored upscale ingredients and meals, as if mortal food hadn’t been but ash in his mouth for two hundred years.
The elf glares at your insolence but doesn’t retort; he’s too busy trying to keep himself from vomiting again.
*
The following morning, Astarion wakes feeling much better. Practically brand new, in fact. It seems the potion and your strange flower child medicine must have done the trick. He sighs a breath of relief and then rolls to snuggle against you for a few more precious moments. He reaches his arms out and grasps at nothing but air.
The silver-haired elf immediately frowns and sits up. That’s exceptionally odd. You were not a morning person; you never had been in the ten years he’d known you. You always slept in longer than him, even in the wilds. On more than one occasion he’d had to lure you out of your nearly comatose slumber with the tempting smells of coffee and breakfast.
Astarion hears you gagging in the bathroom and goes to investigate. He soon finds you clinging to the toilet, practically mirroring how he looked the day prior.
“Oh no, little love, do you think you have food poisoning, too?” He questions, frowning slightly before kneeling down to press his hand against your forehead just like you’d done to him, “No fever, though.”
You whine, leaning into your husband’s hand before grumbling, “Damn the Blushing Mermaid straight to Stygia! Why do I even like that place, again?”
Astarion laughs, “I’ve been wondering the same thing for years, dear. I hope now you’ll finally reconsider. Do you want some tea and a bath?”
“Please,” You say, just before another wave of nausea hits you, forcing you to throw your head into the toilet and gag. Frustratingly, not much actually comes out despite the waves of sickness coursing through your body.
Gods, you wish you could simply vomit and feel relief.
Astarion begins to prepare the appropriate remedies, much like you’d done for him the day before. Thankfully, you seem to recover much faster than he did, and by midday you look and feel completely normal.
Good thing, too. You two were out of any elixirs that may have helped you had your ailment been as severe as Astarion's.
“Perhaps I’m just a better healer than you, darling.” The silver-haired elf teases as the two of you take afternoon tea in the sunroom.
“Perhaps I’m just stronger and more resilient than you, my love.” You retort, wrinkling your nose in jest at your husband.
He chuckles softly and then presses a kiss to your nose, “Agree to disagree.”
*
Astarion thinks the two of you are past this bit of bad luck, but when he wakes the following morning, he hears you retching once again.
When the elf finds you in the bathroom, appearing as almost an exact repeat of yesterday, though perhaps a bit worse, his brow furrows.
“Darling, I'm worried now. You look more ill than before. Perhaps we should take a trip to Jaheira? I can head to the apothecary for another Elixir of Health while she looks you over.” He murmurs gently, extending his hands to pull you to your feet.
You simply nod in agreement, too nauseated to do more than follow your husband’s lead as he slips you into a set of robes and ushers you into the carriage.
*
When Astarion returns to Jaheira’s after dashing out to the apothecary, he finds you sitting at the druid’s dining table. The two of you stop whatever hushed conversation you’d been having and turn to look at him in unison.
“Feeling any better, Tav?” He asks, coming to stand by your side before placing a worried hand upon your shoulder. You simply cover your hand with his and nod in response.
“Much better,” You say, flashing your husband a small smile. Something about your expression looks hazed, as if you’re stuck in a daydream. Poor thing, you're probably exhausted and experiencing brain fog.
“I’m sure you’ll be just fine with the teas and medicinals I’ve given you,” Jaheira assures, her eyes flickering between the two of you. She grins for the briefest moment before falling back into her typical, more serious demeanor.
Astarion swears he feels like something is off, but when he turns to give you a questioning look, you’re the picture of happiness as you sip from your tea cup, finishing it off.
Well, at least you’re doing what Jaheira has prescribed.
“What about the Elixir of Health I’ve just purchased?” Your husband asks, lifting the bag in his hand, “Will that help?”
“Oh, I recommend you keep it for something else. I don’t think Tav needs it for this,” The druid responds before standing, signaling it’s the end of the visit. She was always quite straight forward and lacking in certain genteel social graces, in Astarion’s opinion.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with the Harpers.”
You quickly bid your goodbyes and Astarion helps you back into the carriage, eager to get you back to bed so that you can sleep off the rest of this sickness.
*
Astarion notices you’re uncharacteristically quiet on the carriage ride home. He typically doesn’t mind when you’re in one of your pensive, stoic moods. But this illness of yours had him more anxious than usual and he had to know more about Jaheira’s examination results, if only to ease his own worries.
“Darling,” He starts, taking your hand in his. But you don’t seem to hear him; you’re still lost in your own little world.
“My love,” He says, this time a bit more urgently, squeezing your hand just enough to pull your attention to him, “What did Jaheira say, exactly? Did she mention how long this illness will last?”
“Oh, the nausea will probably go on for a few weeks,” You reply, a goofy, lopsided smile breaking across your face. You cannot stifle your grin at the little secret you know you’ll be unable to keep for more than a few moments longer.
“Weeks?” Astarion questions, his voice pitching up with worry and brows stitching together in concern.
Why in the hells are you smiling? What druid bullshit was in the tea Jaheira gave you?
He folds his arms across his chest, not at all pleased by the lack of seriousness you seem to display. The idea of you being sick for weeks makes his heart hurt and his stomach churn as if he’s still sick. He could never stand to see you uncomfortable.
“Tav, are you drugged? This is serious. I fail to see what there is to be smiling about right now. You’re going to be nauseous for weeks and you can’t use an Elixir of Health? Are you absolutely sure Jaheira even knows what she’s—“
“I’m pregnant, Astarion,” You interrupt, and you cannot help but to laugh at your husband as his mouth hangs open mid-sentence, frozen in shock.
He blinks for a moment or two, otherwise completely still as his brain rushes to process the new information.
When the elf finally regains his composure and finds his ability to speak, he shoots out a flustered, rambled, “Darling, I— I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I’m not certain I heard you correctly. The road is quite bumpy and the wheels of the carriage are loud— I think they need oil— and the horses—“
You laugh and firmly grasp your husband’s hand, wholly capturing his attention before murmuring, “You ridiculous elf. You heard me the first time. I’m pregnant, Astarion.”
You don’t think you’ve ever seen a bigger grin cross your husband’s face.
“Tav, darling, I— gods, just come here to me.”
Astarion’s lips crash into yours, and he’s smiling into the kiss as he threads a hand through your hair, intent on pressing you closer into him. A tiny, delighted hum escapes your husband as he uses the kiss to express all the feelings he cannot yet put into words.
When he finally pulls away, he cups your face with his hands and peppers a few more kisses upon your lips.
“Is this your way of telling me you’re happy about this, Astarion?” You ask, grinning at your husband as he gazes upon you with the most besotted eyes you’ve ever seen.
“Thrilled, my love,” He whispers, before pressing forward to kiss you again, trying to convey the depth of his excitement with his affections. He doesn’t let go of you the rest of the way home, almost desperate to cover you in worshipful kisses, each one a little vow of love to you.
You notice he's unusually quiet, but then, he’s far too busy smiling and smooching to do much talking.
*
Later that evening, you move to get out of bed and head toward the bedchamber door.
“Ah, ah, ah. Where do you think you’re going, little love?” Astarion calls, already tossing his book aside to follow after you, “What do you need? Let me bring it to you.”
“I just wanted a cup of water, Astarion. I can go get—“ You start, but he quickly presses a kiss to your lips, effectively quieting you.
“Hush, my love. You’re still nauseated and you’re carrying very precious cargo.” He gently chastises as he turns you by your shoulders and steers you back toward the bed.
“You’re being dramatic,” You grumble, sitting back down in the bed and wrinkling your nose at your husband.
“Perhaps,” He agrees, grinning down at you as he gently folds the blankets back around your legs, “But you knew exactly the type of theatrics you signed up for when you married me, darling. 'To have and to hold, to love and to cherish' and all that, hm?”
And in that moment, Astarion was certain he’d never love and cherish anything more than you.
Nine months later, the little silver-haired newborn he held in his arms would prove him wrong.
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im-poe-dameron · 8 months
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─── BREATHE ME IN
a/n: so um...i have no idea what this is. i started this when the kenobi series was coming out and sort of dropped it after a month. but here i am, finally finishing it and making it longer than it was supposed to be. did we really expect me not to find darth vader hot? i think he's where my whole loving a masked character came from. honestly this is basically filth with me trying to shove plot in not so subtly. so i hope y'all enjoy!
summary: the jedi fell and darth vader rose to power, but there's a secret he hides even from his own master.
word count: 5.5k+ (because i'm insane)
pairing: darth vader x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, cussing, angst, tenderness which is shocking, thigh riding, choking (obviously), oral (male receiving), a tad bit of face fucking, dom/sub dynamics, rough p in v sex, overstimulation, more hints of anakin than vader.
You’ll never be able to forget the scent of him after that night one month ago. It was branded in your mind, forever a part of you as he bent you to his will—made you his without even saying a single word. You should have fought him on it; made him see that you weren’t ready to relinquish the power you once held, but you knew the man beneath the mask he wore. You had known Anakin before he became this, before he twisted himself up inside and gave into being Darth Vader.
Even now as you stood in your small home on a planet far away from the Empire’s touch, you could feel his control over you. Long before the order was given and Jedi were slaughtered, you had been one of them. A knight who fought alongside Anakin in the Clone Wars—a warrior who chose the side of good rather than evil.
Then things fell apart. You were told that the man you loved, the person you cherished the most, gave into the dark side.
He became a stranger once more.
But nobody runs from Anakin for long—especially when he’s become a force more powerful than any Jedi could ever hope to be. You were hiding out on Devaron when he found you, attempting first to turn you to the dark side with him. Only for you to see something break in his exterior, his walls dropping for a split second and you felt it like a punch to the chest. He needed you.
This absolute desire was not born out of lust but pure necessity, because even as Darth Vader…Anakin Skywalker still lived beneath the mask and he didn’t know how to live without you. You’d always been the person he turned to when Obi-Wan wouldn’t understand the nature of his feelings. When he could no longer control them himself.
So, he left you there—allowing you to remain a Jedi who chose the light side of the Force over him. But he would return again and again. Desperate for someone to put his strained mind at ease—the memories of his past haunting him with every waking day. Perhaps that's where the submission started. In helping him by allowing him into your bed, into your heart little by little each time until eventually…you yearned for him to.
Jedi weren’t allowed to have such strong attachments, but as a Sith…he could keep you as his for as long as possible. A deal you wholeheartedly agreed to with a single word.
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The stars were starting to shine brightly in the night sky as you traversed the dense forest of Devaron, your lightsaber clipped to your side and hood drawn up over your head. You heard his ship land ten minutes ago; knew he now stood in the center of your home awaiting your arrival. So, you took your time. Anakin never liked to wait, Darth Vader was no different, and somehow that brought a smile to your face. So desperate to see you that he would battle his way through the forest alone to find you again.
He would come after you—you knew he would—and that brought back the pool of heat that always found its way to your body when he arrived.
There was something twisted about loving him even the way he was now. How could you, a Jedi Knight of your ability, love something so dark? How could you give into the sinister deliciousness of that side, yet still remain so true to the light side of the Force? The answer was simpler than you thought. In your mind he still remained as Anakin the man you loved and even though you knew what he did, what he now became, you couldn’t let go of your heart fully.
Even if the scars now showed as small canyons and ridges, each one holding a darkness that would ultimately cause your demise.
He knew this.
Nobody loved Darth Vader, nobody gave themselves to the most powerful Sith in the galaxy, without understanding they would die because of it one day. Perhaps that’s what caused the absolute ache in your bones at the mere sight of him. The thought of one day no longer being by his side. Some Jedi may claim you were betraying what you believed in—destroying yourself just for an inkling of mind numbing pleasure—but it was more than that. Pleasure ultimately gave way to the pain of loving someone beyond saving.
As expected you arrived at your small house to the sight of a black ship—big enough for one—in the clearing that was solely used by him. The darkness bled through the Force, encasing you in a biting cold as you walked towards the already open door. One might say the sight of him standing amidst your tiny living room was terrifying enough to run away. But you were never one to cower in fear from him and you refused to start now.
His head tilted, energy stretching out towards you through the old connection you used to have with him, and with a small smile you reached back. Twining your brilliant blue around his obsidian nature until you saw him shudder beneath his cloak.
“You’re late,” he said—his voice something you had to continue to get used to.
Humming, you dropped your robe onto the chair behind him, heading towards your small makeshift kitchen where you knew there’d be some bread from the day before. He turned, watching you move as you continued to press your Force signature against his own—reminding him of a time when he too held a blue lightsaber brighter than yours. This was a two way street. You savored the bitter sweetness of the dark side, relishing in the rush of power that flowed through your veins, and he once again fell back into what he used to know. The calming serenity of the light side.
“You’re early,” you teased, knowing his temper was far worse than before. However he always seemed to control it around you—the tight grip he had on his anger evident in the way his fist clenched.
“Where did you go?” He demanded more than asked nowadays and so you stayed silent, awaiting for the flare of anger to shove its way into your mind.
It never came though. The silence almost shocked you as you turned, eating the remainder of the bread. But that’s what he wanted out of you—a reaction that would show you actually acknowledge his presence. How could you not? When he stood there looking like the true embodiment of the dark side of the Force. Although there were times when you missed the sight of Anakin standing before you—a smile on his face that always reached his blue eyes.
“Exploring,” you said, eyes flickering down the length of him—taking in the sight of his rigid stance. “How long are you here for?”
“Tonight.”
His answers were blunt, to the point, because he didn’t have time to dawdle. You were his secret, you knew this. If anyone found out you’d be killed and knowing who Darth Vader answered to…he’d be forced to do it himself. So, you nodded and finished the remainder of your bread as you continued to watch him—prodding at the wall of his mind to hopefully see within. But they remained up, blocking you from anything other than his Force signature which remained tightly entwined with your own.
“How long will you be gone for?”
He paused, pressing against the walls of your mind to see what exactly you were thinking, but you knew he didn’t wish to forcefully tear them down. You were not a person he was interrogating—rather a lover who he may very well lose if he didn’t act accordingly. His fist clenched again, the struggle to remain in complete control now wavering as you stalled for time. He knew what you were doing and yet he still played along.
“I don’t know.”
You hummed, once more pressing against the wall in his mind. It was dangerous to be let inside—having seen what he harbored behind the thick barrier—but your curiosity always wished to drag you into trouble.
What was safety compared to intimately knowing the most lethal person in existence? To you there would be nothing more intriguing, nothing more worth the risk than this simple gesture.
“Don’t,” he spit out, stepping closer until your lower back was digging into the counter.
“You let me in once before—”
His gloved hand landed on your throat, silencing your words and causing a shudder to run down your spine. Though the position wasn’t unfamiliar, it still brought a small inkling of fear to peek its head out. He could kill you—without remorse. Yet he never did. He simply remained, holding your throat as tenderly as he possibly could—relearning what the meaning of gentle was. That thought alone brought a dazed smile to your face, your eyes nearly fluttering closed as his thumb ran along the column of your neck.
“That is no longer a luxury you are allowed to have.”
The words were sinister on his tongue, like a sharp knife to your heart, but you’d been scarred by him before. “Is it because I know what I’ll find? Or are you afraid?”
His control finally snapped, the pressure on your throat now crushing you until you struggled for air. But he didn’t squeeze harder, he didn’t make sure that you were unable to breathe completely, because he couldn’t cross that line. He refused to. You were the only light he let slip through the cracks of his helmet; the one thing keeping him stable on the ground and while it wasn’t very Darth Vader of him to keep you—it was the part of Anakin that still remained that held onto you tightly.
“You know nothing.”
Despite the lack of oxygen, you smiled. “I know you.”
The words came out choked and broken, but it was enough. He froze, his hand loosening around your throat as the final realization clicked into place just like it always did when he found his way back to you.
You knew him—knew Anakin that lay beneath the surface and Vader that rose to power crushing him in the end. You knew all the ugly bits that showed through the evident splinters of his being and in spite of all of that…you still loved him. Whenever he left you he seemed to forget that when he came here he didn’t have to wear a shroud of anger that resembled his cape. He didn’t have to wean himself from the light side with every bittersweet touch, because you held no expectations of him.
“Anakin,” you breathed, hand sliding along his leather covered limb. “Come home.”
Little by little you saw his walls come down, felt the darkness seep into his Force signature until you were surrounded by it. Until the only light left between the two of you was yours—guiding him back to you for a brief moment. He’d only be here tonight, so you’d have tonight.
You would take as much time as you were allowed if it meant seeing Anakin for a brief moment again.
“Anakin is dead,” he muttered, hand shifting until his thumb was pressing against your bottom lip. “I killed him.”
Parting your lips you allowed him to invade your senses even further—the taste of the leather permeated your mouth, driving a moan from your throat. Digging your nails into his arm, you felt him push against you—forcing his way into your mind and showing you images of a past that felt like yesterday. Anakin’s face flashed before you, the smile you ached to see again finally coming back to you, and it drew a whimper to the surface. A sound he liked if the pressure on your tongue was enough to go by.
The scene shifted and you felt the heat flare to life in your stomach as you saw yourself beneath him, sobbing his name as he practically shoved you into all encompassing bliss. Memories he still held onto—torturing himself because he could no longer have you in the way he wanted. But above all that, one stuck to the forefront of your mind. The taste of him as he kissed you; devoured everything you were and felt greedy enough to take even more.
The first hints of the dark side within him.
“Maker,” you gasped as he ripped his hand away, reaching for the ties of your robes. “I miss it too.”
Gathering enough of your energy you used the Force to shove him backwards until he stumbled into the wall behind him—his large frame taking up too much space. To anyone else it would have felt suffocating, but to you…this was as safe as you were ever going to get. He ached to have his old self back not to be a Jedi again. No, he thrived in the sinister ways of the Sith. He wanted to be Anakin, to have you again by his side—to kiss you like he used to on nights where things became too heavy a burden to carry alone.
Somehow in the midst of you pushing him back and him resisting you ended up pinned to the wall of your bedroom by him. He didn’t even have to touch you to make you beg for more; for you to do anything he wanted. This is what bending to his will became and he loved it.
He stood inches away, the tips of his boots touching yours and so like a fool you let your walls down without any warning. Shoving every memory and burning need his way until he was gasping through the modulator—his hand slamming against the wall beside your head. Each moment you were with him, each touch and night neither of you slept—too busy finding what made the other tick—it all poured into his mind. You made him see what you saw whenever you were near him even with the mask.
The cold feeling of his mask pressed against your cheek as he tried to push himself closer. This is all it would amount to. Nights spent in secret when really the both of you ached for one last thing. Something you never got.
A farewell kiss.
“Anakin,” you said softly, hand sliding to his shoulder. “Are you home?”
He let out a breath, the sound distorted through the modulator before finally breaking down the last of his walls. “Yes.”
You didn’t know how long tonight would truly last and so you began to clutch at his arm, feeling a hot press of his gloved hand dig into your thigh as he raised it to his hip. A natural movement he’d done a hundred times over. That was enough to make you smile, a small bit of laughter echoing off the walls of your tiny room. Although darkness still clung to him, still twisted tightly around your Force energy, he remained the man you loved.
Both Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader alike.
“Tell me,” he groaned, shoving his knee up gently and fitting it right at the seam of your pants.
It almost didn’t feel fair how he knew your body so well—how he knew which way to move you to finally hear that familiar moan tumble past your lips.  Grinding your hips down, your head fell back against the wall when pressure was finally applied to your throbbing clit, sending sparks down your spine. You knew he watched every emotion, expression, and heard every sound behind that helmet and somehow…that made it even more electric.
“Tell me,” he demanded, hand going back to your throat and keeping you in place as his other one guided your hips along his thigh.
Fuck, you were still clothed and felt like you would fall apart at any moment.
“I—” Moaning, your hands scrambled for purchase along his chest. “I love you.”
Placing pressure on your throat he shoved pressed his thigh upwards, watching your eyes flutter shut, a high-pitched gasp escaping you as you finally broke. Light flooded his senses, nearly breaking his stance, but the sight of you writhing in his grasp—whimpers falling from your lips was too addicting for him to let go of. They say that the dark side made one greedy; desperate for whatever they wanted, and in this moment he was prepared to take and take until you had nothing left to give.
He knew you’d let him. You would give him whatever he asked for.
“Anaki—” He cut you off, dragging you along his thigh again and watching as your face twisted. Both pain and pleasure collided as you were shoved into overstimulation.
“Again,” he said, moving his hand from your hip to your pants—helping you yank them off until the leather of his glove slid through your hot slick. “I want to see you do it again.”
“Oh fuck.”
Gasping for air, you dug your teeth into your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as he ruthlessly began to toy with your clit. He knew exactly what to do to shove you right on that edge again and perhaps that’s what flung you over it. Or maybe it was him shoving the same words back into your own mind until it echoed over and over again.
I love you.
Sith didn’t care about things like love, but Anakin Skywalker was never truly a Sith just as he was never truly a Jedi.
He was stuck in between—crossing the border of want and need.
“I can’t.” A cry ripped from you as his other hand moved down from your neck to your chest, rubbing a thumb over your nipple. “I—Anakin I can’t.”
He chuckled, the sound menacing even to you. “Yes you can.”
This wasn’t a question—it was a choice of when you’d finally give in. The pressure in your body built, the coil twisting as he continued to rub sharp circles on your clit. When your legs began to shake and your vision became blurry from tears, you knew you were right there on the very edge of shattering, but you couldn’t. Not until he joined you on that edge—relenting his power to give you some of your own.
“Say it,” you begged, eyes screwing shut as he sunk two fingers into you right to the knuckle—his thumb continuing. “Say it for me. Please I need—I need to—”
“I love you.”
The words sounded foreign coming from his modulator, but you knew this was Anakin speaking not the twisted side of him that fed off of pain. He’d finally ripped free from the cage he was put in, leeching off the light coming from you with glee. He may not have meant the words entirely, but they did what you both intended them to do.
Sobbing his name, you felt the pressure snap in two flooding your body with a white-hot pleasure. You could hear his fingers as they continued to pump into you, rubbing against the spot along your walls that made your legs shake and tears flow down your cheeks.
“That’s it,” he muttered, hand going around your neck to hold you in place as you practically grinded on his hand—the pleasure still coursing through your veins.
You were lost to it. Mind numb to everything else but him standing before you.
It took you a few minutes to catch your breath and gain feeling in your limbs again and he waited. Gave you a chance to breathe as he fought against the impatience that trickled into his veins—a quality that was unnatural to him. Once you were finally able to open your eyes, sighing in contentment, you focused on his mind—allowing yourself a chance to see inside of it. As always it was inner turmoil that had you flinching, but right now all you saw were memories of you and him. The same ones he played over and over again while he was away from you.
“And here I thought you never missed me while you were away,” you said, lips curving into a smile sweet enough to taste.
“I don’t miss you.” He leaned closer, hand reaching down to cup your swollen cunt. “I miss this.”
Words like that should have stung, but you knew him better than that. You knew why he said the things he said. So you smiled wider, dragging his arm up until his hand was in front of your face, the black leather shiny with your cum. Twining your Force signature around him until he couldn’t escape, you sucked his fingers into your mouth, moaning at the taste of yourself. He didn’t expect you to give in so easily—usually enjoying the fight you put him through. But tonight you’d settle for this so you could gain more.
“We’ll see about that,” you whispered, kissing his palm and dropping his arm.
You wanted him to give over the control he ached for; wanted to watch as the last of his residual armor came crashing down around you. Only one person would be able to say they brought Darth Vader down to their knees and it was you. His light, his moon, his lover.
Pushing his leg away, you pressed your hands on his chest, wishing you could once again feel the strong heartbeat beneath his skin. The steady thrum of it put you to sleep on long nights when you snuck away from the Jedi Temple, but for now you’d have to settle for the rhythmic timing of his breaths as they echoed around the room.
Without another thought, you dropped to your knees in front of him—his body keeping you caged in along the wall. You figured he already knew what you were going to do, if the way he widened his stance told you anything. His hand cupped the back of your neck, tilting your gaze back towards him. It was the gentle nature of his touch that sent heat spilling into your heart. Anakin flared to life right before your eyes with every passing minute.
Undoing his belt, you allowed yourself a moment to admire what lay beneath the leather. What he always drew your attention away from. The skin was burnt, scarred beyond anything you’d ever seen before, but that never mattered to you. He stood stiff, his other hand pressed against the wall, helmet focused on you. Almost like he was unsure of what would happen.
Would you not care? Or would what remained not be what you wanted?
“Oh…” you gasped when he was finally free.
He was scarred there too, you’d felt it before. Except you weren’t shocked by that; no you were surprised by how worked up he was. The glossy sheen of precum building up at the tip practically dripped down your palm as you held him—begging for you to taste. Leaning forward, you took the head of his cock into your mouth, the guttural moan he let out sending a flare of heat through your body.
“Is this for me?” you asked sweetly, knowing it would only succeed in riling him up even more.
He grunted, his hand pushing you forward until his cock was once more back in your mouth. Although you didn’t mind in the slightest. Not when his addicting salty tang spread on your tongue the longer you sucked on the head. He was shameless with the sounds he made. Entirely focused on his pleasure, but you felt the way he softly rubbed his thumb along your neck, sending goosebumps down your skin.
“Take me deeper,” he said, already knowing you were heading that way anyways. “I know you can.”
You moaned when he hit the back of your throat, his hips thrusting forward slightly until you gagged. That alone only made him do it again. Pressing against the firm line that stood between the both of you. He wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want—as long as you gave him control. Something you were more than okay with handing over.
It’s not like you had any semblance of it before he became Darth Vader. Anakin had always been one to take what he deemed he deserved. Except when it came to you, he always gave you the choice. Even now as your nose brushed the base of his cock, your throat squeezing him so tight his whole body shuddered, you still held the choice.
You sucked in a breath when he pulled away, tears streaming down your cheeks and spit covering your chin. Part of you wanted to keep going—to feel him spill down your throat—but you knew that wasn’t what he was here for. Dragging you up, he pressed the cold shell of his helmet against your forehead, hands grasping your hips tightly.
“I need—” He cut himself off, a loud breath reverberating through his modulator. 
For the first time that night you felt it. The small flicker of blue in his otherwise black Force signature. Only in moments like this, when his desperation practically permeated the air, did you find your Anakin.
The only thing stronger than Palpatine’s hold over him had always been the love he felt for you—that was clear to you now.
“I know,” you murmured, leading him back and watching as he sat on your bed. His large frame practically took up the entire room. He spread his legs, allowing you to step between them, but you had a different plan altogether.
Clambering onto his lap, you held yourself up as you positioned his cock at your entrance. Your slick practically pooled over him, making it easier for you to take him in one thrust. But rather than rush this, you held yourself there. Hovering over his needy and wanting cock—making him wait for the one thing he so desperately needed. The blue flickered again, vibrating through you and forcing a gasp from your lungs.
You longed to pull it closer until it enveloped you entirely; til you suffocated from its light. But whatever remained was now small and fleeting, only seen in moments like this. His grasp turned harsh, impatient. Letting you know that he only had so much left in him before he took back the small sliver of control he allotted you.
Your whole body shook as you finally lowered yourself, feeling the stretch of his cock sliding into your cunt. A growl ripped from his chest, his hands pressing you down further and watching in delight as your head fell back, a garbled shout echoing off the walls. You went dizzy with the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure. It rushed through you, setting each nerve in your body alight with a burning fire.
Which only made everything shine brighter.
Light flooded his senses, your Force signature practically bleeding out into the room. And he took it. He swallowed it whole in his never ending darkness with the hope that you were never extinguished.
“More,” you gasped, fingers digging into the leather that covered his shoulder.
He shoved his hips upward, grinding against you and tearing a sound from your chest that seared into his mind instantly. You were a wanton mess. Barely hanging on to the person you were thirty minutes ago—before he came back into your life. Instead there you were. The lover who fed off of his darkness; who took what the Jedi Order claimed was forbidden and begged for more.
“Maker—fuck—I-I’m oh fuck—” You made no sense, but that’s the way he wanted you. An incoherent babbling mess that rode his cock to chase that feeling only he could bring you.
Lifting yourself up slightly, you dropped back down haphazardly, hating the emptiness that came with his cock slipping out of you. A sound tore through his modulator, his hands tightening on your hips as you set a brutal pace. He groaned when your walls tightened around him, the sound of your skin slapping against the leather of his pants echoing in the room. If you listened closely you could hear the wet squelch of your slick as he set his own pace, pounding into you without abandon.
“Please, Anakin please,” you cried, unsure of what you were begging for.
He seemed to know though.
Without a response, his hand wrapped around your throat, pressing down tightly as he thrusted upwards even harder. The lack of oxygen seemed to only heighten the sensation you chased—pleasure building up to an almost painful degree in your body.
He bent you to his will, guiding your body in a way that felt familiar. You didn’t have to think when he was here, didn't need to focus your energy on any of this, because he did it for you. His gloved thumb pressed against your lips until you opened up with ease, sucking his finger into your mouth with a moan. It gave you a chance to take in a deep breath before he clamped down tight around your throat again. Turning your vision hazy.
“Good,” he muttered, pulling the spit slicked finger from your mouth. Only to press it firmly against your clit.
Your body arched, a broken cry falling from your lips as tears streamed down your face. It was too much, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to ask him to stop. You didn’t want him to. The pleasure nearly blinded you with each thrust of his cock into your dripping cunt. But what made you fall wasn’t the feeling of him finally striking against the spot that made your body curl in on itself.
No, it was the image he projected in your mind.
“That’s what you like huh,” Anakin’s voice grunted in your head, his blue eyes just as bright as before.
You sobbed out a garbled yes, eyes rolling back. The image continued. A bright blue light wrapped itself around you, nearly burning you from the inside out as he pinched your clit between his fingers. And you chased it; grabbed onto the sensation tightly and let it fill your chest until you swore your heart stopped beating.
“I want you to cum. Let me see my pussy drip for me,” he spit, dragging you closer until you were pressed so tight it nearly hurt.
“Don’t,” you gasped, shoving the image of Anakin away from your mind, eyes focusing on the empty soulless black mask he wore. His hand let up slightly, allowing you breath to speak. “I want to see you. Not him.”
Warmth spread through your chest when his hips stuttered, a groan reverberating against your breast. You wished you could kiss him. Feel the hot press of his lips on yours, but this—feeling him thrust into you quickly—was enough. His hand tightened again as his cock drove up into you harshly, hitting right where you needed to fly off the edge. Your mouth fell open, a broken sob making its way through as the all encompassing heat you so desired began to spill through your body.
A snarl ripped through your very being when he finally joined you, spurting into your swollen cunt and filling you until you leaked around the base of him. Except he didn’t stop. He pushed forward, thrusting into you until pain filtered through the pleasure. Once more you were shoved into that bliss, drowning in it with no way out.
Sobbing his name, you felt your body shake as he finally ceased his movements, allowing you to sag against him. The energy was completely depleted from you and he knew it. Which is why he didn’t move. Simply breathed deeply, his softening cock still deep in you, causing you to moan slightly at every soft twitch.
“How long until you have to go?” you sighed, your fingers tracing random shapes against his armor.
“Soon.”
“Will you come back?”
You knew you wouldn’t receive an answer. You never did, because even he didn’t know when Palpatine would finally release him again from his grasp. He let out a breath, his hands cupping your ass as he molded you to him. The blue light still flickered amidst the darkness, turning his once bleak Force signature a brilliant midnight color. And for a moment you saw the real him. The man who lay beyond the layers of his armor.
Laying a kiss against the cold shell of his mask, you allowed yourself a moment to be enveloped by him. The darkness would return eventually, wiping away the man who sat beneath you. But for now, he was here and he was yours.
Smiling, you pressed against it with your own, feeling him shudder beneath you. It was like looking at the night sky—a sight you wanted to keep until you were left alone once more. Curling around his body, you allowed sleep to finally overtake you, your mind soothed by the soft touch of the Force he pressed against you.
Only then did you realize.
In the small space of your home, beneath the strain of a galaxy under siege, your Anakin finally found his way home again.
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