#i still could have put i drink poison to kill the cannibal that will eat me like yes it's funny

[thicctails]

Summer of Whump Prompt Day 2 [Food Poisoning/Starvation]

Hunter learns the true meaning of hunger when he and Echo are captured and tortured for information.

It had been four days.

 Hunter leaned against the side of the cell, the metal cuffs on his wrists chaffing the already raw skin. He had been leaning against this wall for the better part of the day, trying to conserve his energy and strength. Their captors hadn’t been feeding them, an attempt to break their spirits, he was sure. The lack of food was really starting to get to him now, he had a constant ache in his stomach and he hadn’t been able to get any rest last night. Clones lived an active lifestyle, and thus they needed a higher amount of calories to keep them going. Hunter had, at most, gone a day and a half without eating anything.

 In the cell across from him sat Echo, stripped of his prosthetic arm and any kind of tools or weapons he had on him. Echo was lying down right now, recovering from whatever torture he’d been put through today. His sides sometimes faltered, and Hunter sincerely hoped his squadmate wasn’t getting sick or had an infection. Illness hit Echo hard, and he didn’t need any extra suffering.

 His stomach growled, as it did most of the time. It had started to eat away at his fat reserves, but he had little to give. Soon, his body would start to cannibalize his muscle tissue, and then it would be all over. He rested a hand on his stomach, mentally willing it to stop making noise. His heightened hearing and already agitated state meant that any sound was louder than it should be and it pissed him off.

 Slumping down, he tried to force himself to go to sleep. He lay there with his eyes closed, staring at the darkness behind his eyes. Sleep danced around him teasingly, darting in close and then prancing back. After about half an hour of listening to his own breathing and the sound of his stomach acid eating away at his stomach’s mucus layer, he decided that sleep wouldn’t be coming to him tonight.

 Rolling over onto his side, he pressed his face against the cold stone. They’d come for him soon, he figured. At least that meant that he’d get water afterwards. They obviously wanted to keep them alive, although Hunter wasn’t quite sure how long their captors’ patience would last. They wanted information on how cloning was done on Kamino, and no matter how many times both he and Echo tried to explain that they didn’t really know, the aliens didn’t believe them. He’d been beaten, electrocuted, waterboarded, and, of course, starved, yet he couldn’t say anything that would make it stop. Of course, he wouldn’t say anything even if he did know, but it would have given him a sense of control if he’d had the choice.

 He growled and pressed his head into his arm, angry at himself for being caught. He’d been out scouting with Echo while the others stayed with Omega on the ship. She was still recovering from her brush with an icy death from a few weeks ago, and had been happy for the company. Pillow, her ever loyal guardian, had opted to stand guard at the door, ready to aggressively honk at anyone who tried to remove him.

 He’d just vaulted a rocky outcropping when he heard it. A quiet whizz that would have been imperceptible to anyone else. He’d looked for the source, but couldn’t see anything. Feeling cautious, he’d tried to com Echo, but had received no reply. That had solidified the idea that something was wrong in his head, and he had quickly started making his way towards Echo’s location. He’d just been reaching up to com Tech and Wrecker when a sharp prick of pain had appeared on the back of his neck. Suddenly, his legs no longer supported him, and he had hit the dusty dirt hard. His vision had swum, and he couldn’t feel his limbs. The last thing he remembered was seeing Echo’s prone form being dragged by an armoured humanoid that he couldn’t see the face of.

 Then he had woken up in this dark hellhole, incredibly sore and wishing he had eaten breakfast.

 The sound of footsteps made him sit up. He grumbled angrily as he waited to be taken away, his tired mind pounding inside his skull. The complete lack of food and pathetic amount of water he was given to drink was almost certainly slowly killing him, and he refused to go out like that. He’d rather be shot than slowly waste away.

 As the cage door slid open, he contemplated rushing the man that had come to drag him into the interrogation room. His arms and legs ached a the mere thought, and he was once again reminded of his weakened state, and a fresh wave of irritation rippled through him. He should have attacked his captors the first chance he got, but he’d been waiting for a better opportunity. That, it seemed, had been a mistake on his part.

 The man roughly grabbed his arm, yanking Hunter to his feet and shoving him out the door. The room swam slightly, and he wobbled a bit. He grit his teeth, frustrated. Damn this place. Damn these people for making him so weak by simply doing nothing.

   His ribs stuck out now, and it hurt to lie on his stomach. It hurt to lie on his back and side as well, but it hurt more to lie on his stomach. He was curled up in the corner, far away from the cell door. He listened to his own breathing as he simply existed in the darkness. It was slower now, strained too. His body was giving out, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Their captors hadn’t come in today, perhaps they’d given up and were now just waiting for him to expire.

 He wondered what death was like. Was it dreamlike, full of the spirits of his friends and brothers who had already crossed death’s vale? Or was it like sleep, dark and empty, but you didn’t know it because you were asleep. He almost hopped it was the latter, he wasn’t sure he could look his brothers in the eye after what they’d done. What they’d been made to do.

 He wished he wasn’t alone.

 Clones did poorly in prolonged isolation, as did any social creature. Sometimes, he wondered if the loneliness affected them more because they had always been raised alongside their squadmates. Their bonds allowed them to work harmoniously, which helped keep them alive. He always slept better when his brothers were around.

 He really wished he wasn’t alone.

 Hunter did not want to die here, but if he had too, if this was it, couldn’t he at least have some company?

 …

 Beyond the boundaries of his cage, something exploded.

 The loud noise shocked Hunter back into a state of semi-alertness, and he stared wide eyed at the cloud of dust that now filled the room. As the dust settled, he saw the body of one of his captors, the one that had delighted in electrocuting him. He lay there, unmoving.

 Dead.

 The hulking figure of Wrecker stepped into the dimly lit area, Tech not far behind him. The two made eye contact with him, he could tell, even if they had their helmets on.

 Hunter smiled, then promptly passed out.

   When Hunter awoke, it was not on the stone floor of his cell.

 The material beneath him was soft, and it felt utterly divine on his poor abused back. The room was lit with a soft yellow light, washing the pristine white walls in a golden glow. A comfortable pillow was tucked behind his head, and he could feel the ache in his neck begin to melt away. A twitch of his wrist revealed an IV drip had been attached to him, which explained why he no longer felt like he was on the verge of death. But… what was that weight on his chest?

 “Honk.”

 Hunter’s eyes landed on the fat little salamander that was resting on his chest. Pillow blinked at Hunter, his round eyes shining in the light.

 “You sir,” Hunter croaked, feeling a bit loopy, “are spectacularly round.”

 “Honk.”

 “It’s true.” He replied. “You are a pudgy boy.”

 “Hunter?”

 Omega’s voice pulled him from his riveting conversation, and he coughed a bit when he felt her arms wrap around his neck.

“You’re awake!” She cried, still sounding a little raspy herself.

 Pillow slid off the bed as the rest of the Bad Batch, sans Echo, awoke. They had been sitting in some rather uncomfortable hospital chairs for some time now, waiting for their leader to awaken.

 “Hey hey, look who’s finally up!” Wrecker said, grinning.

 “Wrecker,” Hunter said, smiling as he looked at the relieved faces of his brothers, “Tech, how long have I been out?”

 “Two days. The damage your body received, both from those sniveling scumbags and from itself, took a while to fix. You’ve been hooked up to that IV ever since we brought you and Echo here.” Tech said.

 Hunter sat up, taking Omega with him. “Echo! Where is he? Is he alright?” He questioned, moving to get out of bed. Tech and Wrecker both reached forward and stopped him, gently pushing him back down.

 “Echo’s fine, he’s just resting right now. He’s in the next room over.” Omega said quickly, releasing Hunter from her death grip.

 Hunter visibly relaxed, exhaling. He looked around the room, his senses coming back to him a bit. They were muted, and in that moment that was a blessing, as he didn’t know if he could stand to just sit in a room and listen to the sounds of his body.

 “Where are we?” He asked. They obviously were not on the ship, so they had to be at a medical centre of some sort.

 “We’re at the same medical centre we took Omega to. This was the closest one we knew that would be safe to take you and Echo to.” Tech said. “We were… very worried that you wouldn’t make it.”

 “Well I did, and so did Echo. We’re gonna be just fine.” Hunter reassured them.

 “We shoulda been faster. If we had just found a way in sooner, you wouldn’t have been so hurt.” Wrecker said, crossing his arms. Both Tech and Omega looked away as well, guilt written all over their faces. Hunter frowned.

 “Hey now, none of that. You saved us, that’s all that matters.” He said as firmly as he could, his voice leaving no room for argument.

 Pillow honked from his place on the floor, seemingly in agreement.

 “See, Pillow gets it, don’t you buddy?” Hunter smiled, tilting his head to the side to look at the salamander.

 “Buddy? I thought you didn’t like Pillow?” Wrecker asked, confused.

 “I never said that. Besides, just look at him.” Pillow blinked up at them, unsure as to why he was receiving attention from all of them. “How could you not get along with such a cute little marshmallow?”

 “Marshmallow?” Omega questioned, looking at Tech and Wrecker. Wrecker shrugged while Tech’s eyes drifted over towards the IV.

 “Hmm, must be a higher dose than I thought. Usually painkillers don’t affect him this much.” He said, looking back at his usually stone-faced squad leader stretching his hand down to rub Pillow’s head.

 “Hehe, look at those wrinkles.” He chuckled softly.

 “Definitely a higher dose.” Tech laughed.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[whump-princess]

Birthday whump✨

In honor of my 20th birthday, I’m sharing with you all some birthday whump! Hear me out, okay? Just think...

🖤The caretaker singing Happy Birthday to the whumpee like a lullaby, cuddling them close, petting their head. Their in captivity but the caretaker hasn't forgotten their birthday.

🖤Or the whumpee hugging themselves, curled up in the corner of their cell, quietly singing a happy birthday song to themselves like it’s a secret, tears breaking apart their voice. It’s that special birthday song that only caretaker used to sing to them.

🖤The whumper helps their captive whumpee celebrate their birthday, bringing them a cake and gifts.

🖤Poison cake that makes them sick? Or hears a creative one, cake with glass as a filling. The whumpee takes a bite and they feel the shards slice up their tongue and pierce their gums they spit it out and it’s a bloody mess. Uh oh! Did they swallow some already?

🖤Do they get to blow out the candles and what do they wish for? Freedom? The sweet release of death? Their caretakers freedom?

🖤What gifts do they get? More torture devices for the whumper to use on them? An extra special b-day beating and lashes? (Getting whipped for each year, how thoughtful!) Maybe their gift is freedom… Hahaha jk!!!

🖤The whumpee breaking down and crying. It’s their birthday, their birthday was always so much fun. Their family/ caretaker/ partner always threw them a party even though they said they never wanted one. They always had a homemade strawberry cake with ice cream. They would always blow out the candles and wish for the same thing; another prosperous, happy year. But that wish didn’t come true this year. They realize how much they took for granted. Now they have nothing.

🖤The whumper thinks their crying over their gifts and cake or they haven’t said “thank you” and praised them yet. They get upset like “look at all I've done for you! This is all for you!! Aren't you happy?! You're so ungrateful! How dare you!!” and proceeds to hurt them, cut them with the cake cutting knife (with the frosting on it and all), smashing the cake or throwing it at them (ya know cuz it’s sticky, and they would haut have to sit there with no way to clean it off. I mean, so much dirt and grime would stick to them lol) throw them back into their cell/cage.

🖤Literally being cut like a piece of cake. Like “your so sweet, just like a piece of cake, I could just cut you up and eat you!” lol or something like that, but let’s not get into cannibalism. Like just a big chunk out the leg like a slice of cake (would also mostly kill them bc they would bleed out, it would not be able to heal right without surgery and medication.) or ya know big slashes from one of those sharp, teethed cake cutting knives.

🖤And imagine this one!! The whumpee is kept in a dark room, like a basement, perhaps in a cage or cell, tied up/ chained up, whatever. They don't know what day it is, but the whumper does. They hear heavy footsteps across the ceiling above them, drawing near outside the door, whistling to the tune of ‘happy birthday.” The whumpee’s heart starts to pound. This happened every time when they knew the whumper was coming, it was never a pleasant visit. It feels like the captors hands are already around their throat, their lungs can’t get enough air. The door swings open and light spills in down the old wooden stairs. They watch the whumper appear as they slowly make their way down the stairs, twirling a knife, dragging a bat behind them, letting it hit each step with a loud “thump” on the way down. The whumper begins to sing “Happy Birthday” and it’s just the most horrible, spine chilling sound for the whumpee (even better if the whumper has a really smooth, calm voice) The whumper doesn’t really wish them happy birthday. They hope they have a horrendously painful birthday and they plan to make it so. The Whumpee’s birthday will never be the same.

🖤Pet whumpees getting a big, extravagant party where all the whumpees friends gives them gifts of fancy collars, leashes, outfits, whips and other punishment devices. They get a full meal and even cake. All the other fancy rich whumpers feeding them cookies and cakes and treats like their dog. At first pet is excited that they get to celebrate their birthday… but to be honest, it’s more about their master showing off their pets than it is about them. They get to stand around be fawned over, played with and touched, they still have to obey and be a good little birthday boy/girl. They’re just being displayed and paraded around, and they realize this. None of those gifts were anything they would directly use or there for really enjoy. It was things to cause them pain, to humiliate them, but it didn’t matter if they enjoyed them or not; their purpose is to make their masters happy and serve them. They're still just a toy.

🖤The whumper telling the whumpee it’s their birthday and they realize they have been in captivity for much longer than they thought.

🖤And my favorite!! Whumper brings whumpee a very special birthday surprise; Caretaker. It could go like this: “I’ve brought you a very special surprise for my birthday boy/ girl!” The whumper chimes. The whumpee is just like “oh, great. A new knife? A cattle prod?” The whumper leaves and comes back dragging someone by the chains connecting their wrists across the floor like a sack of flour. The whumper tossed them down in front of the cell, and they just lay there without any kind of fight. Whumpee almost thought the person was dead if they didn’t see the shallow rise and fall of their chest. Peeking out from under the dirty oversized tee shirt, they could tell their emaciated body was littered with bruises and caked with grime, they looked even worse off than them. This was their gift? Who was this poor person? “Surprise! Aren’t you happy?” The whumper questions, pushing locks of matted hair out from the frail little person's face, revealing their identity to the whumpee. The prisoner gasps moving up to press themselves against the bars. It’s caretaker. Their beloved caretaker is right in front of them and at first they didn’t even realize. They don’t look the same as they remember. They look cold and broken. “I’ve been preparing this gift for quite awhile now!”

🖤The whumpee had a bad experience with their birthday long ago (like they got whumped real good for their birthday). They don't celebrate it and explain this to their friends and their partner/ caretaker time and time again but their partner insists they have a party. They come home after having to hear “happy birthday” all day, forcing themselves to smile instead of cry, having to accept everyone's gifts and treats instead of running away. Of course they were thankful but it reminded them of that day… “Happy birthday,” huh? They would never have one of those again. Thinking they made it through the day, it's finally over, they can come home to their cozy little house and cuddle up to their partner and hope they don’t say anything about their birthday. Just a quiet night, just the two of them.  Upon unlocking and opening the door they are bombarded with confetti and balloons. “Surprise!!” Their family and friends gather all around them and once again they have to force themselves to smile. All night they’re fighting tears, having flashbacks that drag them away from all their friends and family around them. They tried to repress all those memories, the ones that make them feel claustrophobic, but they’re having a hard time ignoring them. They can’t escape them now. They’re spiraling deeper and deeper into their own little world they created, filled with darkness where no one can see them, where they are safe. They sit on the couch with a drink in their hand.  Spacing out, left behind, they’re almost invisible. Even in this dark little world of theirs, they hear someone calling their name. They don’t answer, they can’t. They’ve barely drunken anything but they’re shaking, they’re pale, beads of sweat clinging onto their skin. Someone’s calling their name. The music is loud, too loud, too many people, all having fun, laughing, dancing, drinking. The bright lights. It’s all too much. Someone places a hand on their shoulder, calling their name once again. Whumpee lashes out shoving the person with the strength of all their cooped up hurt and anger and fear. They snap. Their partner stumbles back into the crowd. They can’t breath as if their being choked. “Shut up! Stop! Everyone just shut up!” Their holding their head like it’s going to explode pulling on their hair. The music quiets, everyone stops dancing and laughing, the room freezes. Everyone watches in horror and confusion as the whumpee mumbles nonsense under their breath. Their tries to approach them again and the whumpee backs away. “I told you I didn’t want this, any of this!” They yell, tears streaming down over the apples of their cheeks. “I told you and you didn’t listen! You did this for you, not for me! You just don’t understand!” They run off to their room or whatever. (Angst to the max.) Their partner is left to clean up the mess and send everyone home, feeling awful for putting whumpee through so much. They knew something horrible happened on whumpees birthday many years ago, that they had some unresolved trauma, but they never imagined it was that bad. They never really knew what happened to whumpee that day.

🖤What about the whumpers bday? Maybe they make the whumpee sing them “happy birthday.” Or they have to sing it while being tortured and get hurt more if they mess up or stop singing. (This would be so much fun for the resistant type whumpee!)

🖤The pet whumpee who tries to do something special for their master. Maybe they end up just fucking shit up and gets in trouble.

🖤The new whumper who is given a pet for their bday. (In a pretty box and everything.)

Sorry for the long post! Happy bday to me tho and to all your whumpees 💕🎁🎉💖🎂🧁

[klitzo]

I’m a new writer and this is one of the first flash fiction pieces I’ve done, it’s not done yet and needs some work and it would be awesome to have some input 🥺 I have a bad habit of trailing off

The newspaper of the abandoned post office crunches under my feet like dry leaves as the sour nuclear air pours in through the hole in the boarded up windows. I take a deep breath and think about before the bombs fell, about my family, my dogs, my cousins aunts and uncles. After the nuclear exchange between the U.S.A and the lower regions of Asia it’s not surprising nor more tragic that everything here was blown into ash. This is one of those situations where you say, you should have seen the other guy, like after a bar fight. While the survival rate here was actually pretty low with only a seven percent rate , which consisted of managing not to get blown to bits or die from radiation poisoning, Asia has a survival rate that is a whopping zero point zero three. And ruining chances of survival there are also reports of strange mutated versions of cats dogs and even bears, deformed and oversized beyond recognition. I am so glad that America had hit first taking out all operating missile storage and launch sites in the entirety of Asia. Of course we missed a couple and our major cities still got hit but not country wide annihilation. I walk past busted printers toward the door which is swinging open on its hinges banging open against the tack board behind it, I’m making sure to check for any salvageable wire to pull out as well as for any batteries or food. Before the apocalypse I really had taken for granted flashlights and McDonald’s ,now , I’d probably drink a water I found half full in the bottom of a dumpster. I see only one light switch that hasn’t been screwed open and ripped of its contents and get straight to work on pulling of the cap and tearing the wire out. The wind picks up and gusts through the building, creaking the floor like it could fall apart any minute and carrying in the smell of something rotten and rancid. With my back turned towards to door I give one final heavy yank and the wire comes loose and I fall backwards with a loud thud just in time to see somebody slam a nightstick across my forehead.

Crickets, that’s the first thing I hear when I attempt to open my eyes, darkness, that’s what surrounds my vision, thick heavy musk from the scratchy sack that has been placed over my head stings my nose, it extends down my shoulders keeping me from lifting my arms up. I can feel the pressure from the ropes, tied in segments around my arms legs and ankles. I think I should be panicked here, but strangely the sound of the crickets and the cool night air is strangely calming. I can smell dew which means it’s morning but the crickets are still chirping so it’s not late enough for the birds to be out. That means I’ve been unaware for roughly 11 to 12 hours. The last thing I remember is pulling scrap wire from the post office, something smelling rotten and being hit over the head. I roll around a little bit and begin to kick my feet side to side and hear the thud of what sounds like a wooden box on all sides. I kick my feet upward to find that there is no lid. I ponder for a moment, I should at least try to free myself before waiting around and seeing what happens and who is gonna show up to untie me, worse case scenario it’s cannibals and they are here to eat my booty, best case scenario there were some wasteland-globetrotters holed up in there and the freaked out when they saw me. Usually globetrotters are friendly for the most part but you get the occasional that would stab you over a good pair of boots. Then you have the marauders and desperados, marauders don’t care much for violence but they do go around looting whatever they can find and if you get in the way of that you’re kinda fucked. Desperados, you see, that’s a different story these reckless, rambunctious, and bold bandits will go around killing raping and salvaging whatever they can with no regard of life. Awhile back there was reports of another fallout shelter opening at the old retreat, and being as close as I was I packed my bags and walked 153 miles to Jacksonville, Orlando has been my home for the last 10 years. But when I arrived 12 desperados had people all lined up at the front gates and slaughtered every last one of them children first by cutting Thru each side of the cheek and down across the neck, it was traumatic to watch but I can’t imagine how the people felt who broadcasted all over to families and every last one of the dirty raiders roaming the wasteland that there were supplies and safety. It was sad all around and goes to show that the desperados are motivated by uncalled for cruelty. I wonder where my bag went, it’s probably been gone through and tossed. A small rush of excitement goes through me when I remember that I had been keeping knives on me lately and I begin to move my hands around and check my pockets for the switchblade I keep on my waistband, not surprisingly, I find that apparently I have been checked for weapons and my knife was removed. I really hope my bag is still hidden in the service passage and that when this is all over I can get ahold of my last bag of beef jerky and my 22. Caliber it’s been pretty useful at putting holes in some things. Rummaging through my pockets I find a corroded and rusted bottle cap and in my haste to grab it I slice a small cut in my finger. Perfect, I think and straight away I bend my wrist at the most uncomfortable angle possible and begin to saw away slowly

[ko-fanatic]

Blue Blood Tastes the Same (Part four)

Rating: Teen and up

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club, Tokyo Ghoul AU

Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of emaciation, eating disorder, anorexia, starvation, gore, blood, cannibalism (sort of)

Summary: She’s walking back to that damn room, and there was no opportunity for help. They were cold, calculating, sick creatures? But, as she looks over as they joke and laugh like humans... Is that not the complete picture?

Other parts of this series: Part one | Part two | Part three

Haruhi just couldn’t repress the hopeless sigh that escaped her as she made herself walk back to that room. She had to give it to the blond, his goons were very good at being discreet, yet still made her feel as if she’d sincerely regret shaking them off to go call the CGC.

Not that she even could, honestly. Even now, she had to actively fight against the screaming of every self-preservation instinct she had, to not look behind her. She could feel the hairs at the nape of her neck stand on end, a shiver run through her spine, and all that stereotypical bullshit. Not that this situation was stereotypical.

At least she fucking hoped not…

She shifted the grocery bag to her other hand as she walked through the halls, preventing the paper handles from rubbing more abrasion lines across her fingers. Her lips pulled into a grimace, and she pretended it was from the bags, in case the men behind her decided that her offending them was grounds enough to just eat her then and there. Illogical and meritless, perhaps, but she knew nothing on the subject of ghoul psychology that wasn’t just salacious gossip spouted on late-night television to garner views.

As she entered Ouran once more, the guards decided that it wasn’t worth staying hidden, instead choosing to flank her on either side. She just remained silent, head up and gaze forward, face schooled into apathy. Just because she was internally screaming didn’t mean that she had to show it to these… these…

The door to the third music room almost startled her, seeming to leap out of the ether and surprise her in the most macabre way. Obviously, she didn’t want to step a single foot in there, but there was really no other option – at least as far as she could see.

She opened the door, and dinner service seemed to be starting up. The young waiters were all taking orders – accept the two red heads, who were currently missing from her line of sight. Well, and the skinny boy – Kyo-something? – who was currently sitting at a table with a group of cooing, giggling girls.

She could see the twist in his lips, a grimace he could barely seem to suppress, as those girls loaded up their forks and tried to bring them to the boy’s lips. Haruhi felt the bile rise in her stomach, utterly disgusted by the display. His eyes looked helpless as he shook his head, shying away from the dish they tried to share, which only increased the amount of cooing. She even saw one of the girls run her fingers through his hair in some pseudo-sweet gesture.

She was about to rush forward – to hell with the consequences, just wanting to save the boy from being forced into cannibalism – but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. In fact, looking up and seeing the all-too-familiar blond, almost gave her a heart attack. She would’ve screamed, but she was paralysed as a mouse caught in a snake’s stare.

“I see you got the coffee for Kaoru, good job piglet,” He smirked, tone light and almost teasing, and that really made her want to punch him right in the dick. Instead, she reasoned with herself that she’d definitely be killed if she did that, no matter how tempting.

As she was frozen, he slid the bag out of her loose grip, removing the purchase within and inspecting it with keen eyes. He frowned a little, turning the jar over and over, and Haruhi could feel her heart plummet to her shoes.

“What’s this?” He asked, a far too innocent look of confusion on his face, and Haruhi apparently just couldn’t help herself –

“You’re kidding, right?” She deadpanned, “It’s instant coffee.”

Tamaki made a too loud noise, drawing attention to them – which Haruhi cursed at. A room full of fucking ghouls, Fujioka – remember where you are!

However, rather than the feeding frenzy she imagined, she was met with… intrigue? Why in God’s –

“I’ve heard about this!” Tamaki enthused to the gaggle that formed around him. The big and little guys had made their way over, and the giggling girls helped a very tottery Kyoya to his feet and to the lecture that seemed to be happening, “Instant coffee! You just add water to it and it’s ready!”

“Wow, Kyo-chan could really use that!”

“Hani-senpai, please stop,” The thin boy huffed, before nearly being thrown across the room by Tamaki in the other boy’s excitement.

“You know how to make it, right?!” He all but demanded, and Haruhi just nodded, completely perturbed by the scene before her, “Then you have to show us! This’ll be so cool!”

Well, wasn’t that a one-fucking-eighty away from the ghoul restaurant’s boss?

She simply agreed, going about collecting the supplies in a daze. The twins, upon her entering the kitchen, were quickly brought into the circle of apparently willing taste-testers by the stoic senior. Honestly, she was too distracted to pay attention, even if her situation demanded she be aware of her surroundings… Wasn’t this really weird? A gaggle of ghouls animatedly chatting about instant coffee, surprisingly… normal.

Not the coffee part, or even what they were saying, really. It was their energy. It was like looking at a group of normal, human teenagers (if pampered and sheltered as all hell). Not the cold, merciless killers that plagued the world. That were cannibals with a ruthless appetite for flesh. She could hear their chatter in the kitchen, and it didn’t really seem like they were heartless monsters keeping up a pretence – at that moment, at least.

“So common folk really don’t have time on their hands, if they resort to this stuff…”

“It could be great! Besides, Kaoru, wouldn’t that help you cook faster?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess?”

“I don’t really care as long as it’s as caffeinated as the other stuff.”

“Kyo-chan needs to rest if he’s that tired.”

“Hani-senpai, again, please stop.”

She prepared a couple dozen cups, taking them out on a few gilded trays (damn rich ghouls). The others were almost in awe of her as if she hadn’t simply boiled and poured water, and as if there weren’t an actual cook in their midst.

Tamaki took a cup, inspecting it like he did the jar before. She felt vaguely annoyed, but the thought did occur to put something not coffee in the mix and essentially poison them… Well. A ghoul kitchen didn’t have anything like that…

“Cheers!” He called, drinking it down, the rest of those in the room following suit.

There were splutters and laughs, not expecting there to be so much difference, apparently, but beyond the jovial background, Haruhi caught a girl’s eye. Rather than the laughs and smiles, however, this girl was glowering – right at her.

She couldn’t say that she liked that at all.

A/N: I’d just like to say before I’m accused of OOCness, that Kyoya being so openly vulnerable in this chapter is comparable to the twin’s schtick. This’ll be more explored next chapter, but have this note in the meantime.

[thaliatimsh]

if its alright! wrt the 'directors commentary' asks, honestly anything /Anything/ for 'imperfect life', oof :0

ONE DVD COMMENTARY TRACK COMING UP BECAUSE HELL YES you may ask me about this one. GOD I HOPE THIS READ MORE WORKS OR I’M GONNA DIE OF SHAME. For those of you who’ve missed my pleas: imperfect life is on AO3 here. read it or i cry.

Okay I reblogged that post with not much of an idea about what I’d actually have to say but imperfect life is at least at the forefront of my mind lol

First things first I’d had an idea for a fic about Hodgson At Mutineer Camp that i wanted to write floating around my head for a while that was. I suppose centred on the sheer Betrayal of GIBSON YOU CHANGED MY SHEETS FOR THREE YEARS? WHAT THE FUCK? And as I did more research abt both of them and found that they’d been on ships together & that it was likely that either Hodgson or Peglar got Gibson his job? Fuckin wrote itself, especially seeing as in show-canon Bridgens is the Peglar Papers Steward.

Anyway I’ve said this before to everyone who’ll listen but I will say it again: I think Hodgson is misinterpreted & underappreciated by a lot of the fandom &  it makes me SAD and also ANGRY.

Like: I once saw someone say that he was “mad about Jopson’s promotion, so fuck that guy”? NO. He MISSED Jopson’s promotion! He would have gotten a KICK out of Jopson’s promotion! You BASTARDS! Hickey picks on him SPECIFICALLY because he’s out of the loop! I’ll kill you!

Ham jokes? I’m coming to your HOUSE. man’s as ‘obsessed with ham’ as any self-respecting naval officer starving to death in the arctic

Then there’s the “Who is this?” being taken as some kind of a-okay for cannibalism instead of a guy who saw someone shot dead just last night and then spent the morning burying said dead'un being literally scared out of his mind by a greasy lil rat with a knife and Tozer blocking the tent flap with a fuckign RIFLE. DAMN YOU ALL.

Do I think he’s a complete FOOL? YES. Do I think he ever had any kind of malicious intent? NO. Okay anyway I’m gonna talk a bit more abt that later so let me go back to the next part lmao

So Part 2 of the George Henry Hodgson Saga was then to figure out why he had to go stay with his aunts - this ALSO came pretty straight to me, for whatever reason. I think it might have started off as just his parents pleasure jaunt, but as I was thinking about later scenes with Jimmy Fitzjas I came up with a thing abt - Im not gonna find the reference now but in the battersby book there’s a bit abt William Coningham going to take the waters at bath or whatever for Weak Lungs which OBVIOUSLY made me think of my favourite comsumptive Of All Time Fryderyk Franciszek Chopin & the countryside retreats he & his sister Emilia took for their symptoms as teenagers (and unforch Emilia died of tuberculosis aged just 14… rip)

ANYWAY I had some VAGUE idea that George n Fitz could have some kind of Passing Discussion abt Brothers With Shite Lungs that obviously never came to fruition but. Lol whatever, it gave me a reason for why My Parents Sent Me To Stay With Two Aunts.

UH. Right, so then like the third leg for this to stand on was that Fitzjames and Hodgson had ALSO served together & Fitzjames had: 1. recommended Hodgson to the expedition 2: mentioned him TWICE in his Voyage of the Cornwallis 3. Mentioned him in his letters to the Coninghams from disko bay (one of the only Terrors mentioned - there’s a passage abt Fitzjames going to look at the icebergs with Fairholme and Hodgson. ANYWAY; show-canon Hodgson has a sense of humour and I really think he tried to make the men see him as approachable, at least compared to the other Terror officers and that reminds me a lot of how the historical Fitzjames seemed from mystery man! Seeing as they KNew each other I think it’s not unfair to suggest that he’s trying to emulate an older and more successful officer! He wants to succeed! He wants to have fun and to be loved by The Men!

My friend said something very Prescient abt this to me recently which was that THere are a lot of similarities between Hodgson & Fitzjames and it’s kinda like. Fitzjames is the Ideal, and Hodgson just misses the mark. He’s the average man’s James Fitzjames and because he doesn’t know about Fitzjames’ surplus of political luck that only makes him feel more of a failure. Fitzjames gets a bullet that gets him compared to Lord Nelson, Hodgson gets in the gazette as ‘slightly wounded’. Even their monologues! Fitzjames gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and he gets! Affirmation! Gets told that he’s a good man and brave and loved! Hodgson gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and gets! FUCK ALL! A MAN SITS IN SILENCE! He has to fucking! Walk out alone after all of that! FUCK!!!

Okay so this whole fic just sat in my brain for probably like six months until I literally sat up in bed because I worked out the last piece of the puzzle

(Drac has an epiphany, July 4th 2019, colourised)

Which was, of course, 'Hodgson went to boarding school’ - which is what all of this ends up hanging off of! Boarding school culture! The younger years are servants for the upper years, who in turn are responsible for the younger students!  including discipline etc so like… if a younger year brought something up to their “fag-master” it’d be sorted by them and maybe prefects, without getting schoolmasters etc involved.

WHICH is why George doesn’t tell the captains about what happens to Neptune, because he’s out here trying to be a good fag master and get it sorted himself! His own fag master fucked him over by getting the schoolmasters involved when they oughtn’t have been! He’s not about to be Archibald Harrington-Thurlowe! He’s not okaying the mutiny! He’s trying to minimise the damage *on his own* like a fuckin idiot!

IF YOU CALL HODGSON A MUTINEER I’LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE N MAKE YOU GET LOST AND ABANDONED AND END UP EATING YOUR BOOT BEFORE GETTING 'RESCUED’ BY THE SAME GREASY RAT WHO LITERALLY MURDERED YOUR PAL AND TRICKED YOU INTO SLAUGHTERING CIVILIANS! I’LL. I’M NOT HAPPY.

I’m just basically so upset about 'one perfect moment in a whole imperfect life’ being a childhood memory that he was taught to see as so shameful to compare it to cannibalism under duress? FUCK.

A whole imperfect life in GENERAL has me fucked up! He just kept trying and kept just missing what he was aiming for! I mean. That’s relateable. Not one part of a life turning out as you expected or planned? ME!!!! Your achievements add up to nothing and no matter how hard you try you end up a footnote! FUCK offfff

I had some difficulty with the religious angle for a while because. hm. okay. To start with the religious angle IN-CANON is just.... not correct. Catholics don't let you drink the blood. The church of england DOES... and that's what most of these men ARE. The Papist Speech as a whole was cobbled together from one of Crozier's ~Visions~ in the book - and it's important in that case that Crozier is IRISH... Poor analogy, writers! Putting aside that he was also... SEVEN... maybe he was an unusually tall seven-year old, people assumed he'd had first communion/been baptised & no one wanted to cause a fuss... I mean the guy has lead poisoning so it's fair to mis-remember but... YEAH. Messy, which is a shame because it's a powerful monologue very well-delivered, shame it's complete fucking nonsense 😂 (not to be like... SMH Americans but... smh Americans...)

Anyway, as I wrote it? that’s me. I wasn’t raised religious - my dad’s an old-school small-town Continental Catholic, my mum’s agnostic but raised CofE (but *her* dad was raised Jewish (also continental) during WW2), I think they couldn’t be fucked with the drama, I never went to church or anything and as a kid when we had prayers at school assembly I didn’t know what I was doing!!!! I felt bad because I couldn’t fathom God as a concept!!! I still can’t! But as a kid it’s like. I don’t understand and on account of that I’m afraid I’m going to Hell. tfw you write what you know.

ALSO there were definitely a couple of times where I wrote G H Hodgson as played by B W Wooster and I will not be taking constructive criticism on that.

ANYWAY My brain has kindof turned itself off now but I guess this is just. My own personal backstory to this jhsgfjhs. I actually probably have about 400x more to say but it’s fully evaporated. thank you SO MUCH for asking me though. i die.

[somethingfoe]

You’re SPECIAL (FO4): Tanks

Back on the meat grinder of text we go. Here is the third You're SPECIAL in the format of FO4 that I promised, after having to coincide with the fact that the base special I made 4 years ago was inconsistent with the base specials of the other characters I made for said series. Even though I was able to get this one out in less than a month compared to Saboteurs, it actually took me more time to make it simply because I had to make cuts to their base attributes. In hindsight, I could've maintained them and still manage the Level 75 base that I was doing with the main protagonists, but THEN said characters would have even less perk points to use for PERKS than said Saboteurs! Anyhow, If you are curious about how I came about my conclusions for the original base special of the 'Unstoppable Forces', here is the link for you: https://www.deviantart.com/somethingguy912/art/You-re-SPECIAL-Steelhooves-VS-Rampage-431114990 As for what has differed from then and now, below: STEELHOOVES SPECIAL THEN: Strength - 7 / Perception - 10 / Endurance - 8 / Charisma - 6 / Intelligence - 7 / Agility - 7 / Luck - 5 STEELHOOVES SPECIAL NOW: Strength - 6 / Perception - 9 / Endurance - 7 / Charisma - 3 / Intelligence - 7 / Agility - 6 / Luck - 2 RAMPAGE SPECIAL THEN: Strength - 7 / Perception - 6 / Endurance - 10 / Charisma - 7 / Intelligence - 5 / Agility - 9 / Luck - 6 RAMPAGE SPECIAL NOW: Strength - 5 / Perception - 4 / Endurance - 10 / Charisma - 6 / Intelligence - 3 / Agility - 8 / Luck - 4 I'm certain that the cuts I made won't effect how I came to my conclusions for how I attributed their points those years ago. Steelhooves still generally has a high Perception with good Endurance and Intelligence, while Rampage is still high on Endurance and Agility with less than average points across the board. As for the vectors, well, I literally had no choice but to cave in and use the Rampage vector from :devVector-Brony: and the Steelhooves vector from :devBrisineo: , two artists that I borrowed heavily way back then. It's really fucking hard too when no other compatible vectors work, and barely any are available since it depends on their relative popularity. So with that all out of the way, the explanations for the perks <h2><u>STRENGTH</u></h2> <h4>Strong Back</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that Steelhooves is encased in Power Armor, it only makes sense that his overall capacity would increase, and he'd be more inclined to take a heavy load. <h4>Heavy Gunner</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Being a stereotypical BoS Paladin, Steelhooves likes his guns big and lanky. Grenade Launchers, Rocket Launchers, heavy plasma guns, Steelhooves prefers guns with impact. <h4>Blacksmith</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage isn't exactly interested into making melee weapons, making weapons for her more unarmed opinion do fall in line with her up in your face attitude with combat. <h4>Armorer</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves has managed to maintain his Power Armor relatively functioning for over 200 years, especially considering how he's incapable of taking it off! You can't accomplish that without having a vast knowledge of maintaining all the pieces together! <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's armor is a bit imposing, but does have it's faults considering that it only functions to hurts enemies if they make a retaliation. Still, it does take some handiwork to jut spikes all over yourself to turn yourself into Sonic straight out of hell. <h4>Iron Fist</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: - Rampage is all about being personal with her combat, far beyond just using melee weapons. Her hooves are her greatest weapon, equally as manic and psychotic as she is. <h2><u>PERCEPTION</u></h2> <h4>Penetrator</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: - While Steelhooves hasn't necessarily blown your cover, his heavy ordinance of weapons usually helps to ensure you can't turtle in one place forever. Steelhooves is keen on flushing out any cowering opponents in battle. <h4>Refractor</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves not only is a pony encased in power armor, Steelhooves is a pony GHOUL encased in power armor, so energy weapons and otherwise radiation based weapons won't have much impact on him, if any! <h4>Demo Expert</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - May I repeat myself? Steelhooves grenades and rockets know where they are going, not nearly as clever as P-21, but still effective nonetheless. <h4>Locksmith</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage isn't a master of the lock as P-21 is, when Rampage happens to become one of her multiple peronalities (Twist specifically), she can easily get herself out of a lockpick pinch. <h4>Awareness</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - Seeing that Steelhooves know every rock turned and every plain walked in his lifetime, it would make sense that Steelhooves would have an idea how to deal with certain enemies, especially of Alicorns. This requires the Nuka-World DLC, and if you don't have it, than Demolition Expert will be Three Stars. <u>Rampage</u> :star: - Rampage doesn't have as much steely observation that Steelhooves has, but she is capable of managing her opponents if she can control her psychotic nature. <h4>Rifleman</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that most of Steelhooves weapons are two handed, he would most certainly have a hand at holding a weapon even if strapped to his side like a saddle. <h4>Pickpocket</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage, if she happens to take the personality of Twist, also knows her way into stealing some things out of people's possessions, even if she isn't nearly as subtle as P-21 is. <h2><u>ENDURANCE</u></h2> <h4>Solar Powered</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's healing talisman makes her regenerate almost infinitely, no matter in what gruesome way she dies. So of course, during the Daylight, what little daylight there is in the Hoof, Rampage will regenerate herself constantly regardless of damage. <h4>Cannibal</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - In the rare circumstance that Rampage is in the need to eat some 'strange meat', she'll do it, as she has no convention of norms or civility. <h4>Adamantium Skeleton</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - her Healing Talisman recovers broken bones, lacerations, addictions, almost anything that would hurt Rampage, so Rampage has a inner Adamantium Skeleton beyond just perks! <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: - While Steelhooves is a ghoul and can recover some damage, and his power armor does blast back most small arms damage, Steelhooves is still vulnerable to more aggressive attacks from Deathclaws for example. <h4>Rad Resistant</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves has the best of both worlds when it comes to rad resistance. Not only is Steelhooves wearing armor that makes him resistant to it, him also being a ghoul makes him not only resist it, but HEAL HIM too! This requires the Far Harbor DLC to do, and if you don't have it, Adamantium Skeleton will have 2 stars. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage is still susceptible to radiation literally destroying her body at a constant pace, through mere attrition Rampage is able to overcome what most would succumb to. <h4>Chem Resistant</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage can resist any negative addictions, her desire for Psycho with a bit of Peppermint Twists also give her more of a tolerance to it specifically. <h4>Lifegiver</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves ghoulish condition giving him healing from radiation, his power armor automatically inducing Stimpaks where needed, and of his hardy nature after 200 years of being encased, Steelhooves can take a lot of consistent damage without nudging. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage is quite a open target for enemies, seeing how blunt and CQC she is, but that doesn't necessarily make her resistant to sustained damage. Simply cutting her head off can merely slow her down with consistency, for example. Still, Rampage is damn stubborn with actually dying. <h4>Lead Belly</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that her healing talisman can make her disregard her own life, it only makes sense that Rampage could drink literally anything without fear of poison or intolerance to it. <h4>Toughness</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: - A half zombified pony encased in solid steel would make anyone wary of trying to topple him, through lead or bone. Steelhooves can take the most of any damage you can throw at him. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - While Rampage can be slowed down given the right firepower, Rampage's temperance for pain with her constant regeneration make her battle scars almost eternal in combat. <h2><u>CHARISMA</u></h2> <h4>Animal Friend</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's personality of Twist, the most dominant of the four or so personalities, has a sort of reverence for animals and beasts, probably because they fight as primal as she does, so it makes sense that Rampage would have some knowledge of convening with the fauna. <h4>Lone Wanderer</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves is the ultimate stoic being. Even though he was re-recruited into the Post-War BoS as a Blue Star Paladin, seeing that Steelhooves cannot remove his armor as it is wedged into his skin as a result of the 'megaspells' makes him ultimately detached from everyone else, making this perk ideal for his lonely nature. You need the Far Harbor DLC to get four stars, and if you don't have it, Steelhooves gets one star in Cap Collector. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage is definitely more dependent on her Arena job to keep her celebrity going, Rampage's inability to actually die makes her off putting to Blackjack and company, as she hopes that Blackjack will find a way to 'kill' her, often leading her to either leave the group or even betray her to get her sweet end. <h4>Lady Killer/Black Widow</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Rampage's personality as the Proditor makes her both a interpretor for the Zebra language and a cunning linguist for certain enemies, even if said Proditor is mostly stuck in the past. Rampage is also sort of conniving with the fact that her personalities are unpredictable. <h2><u>INTELLIGENCE</u></h2> <h4>Science!</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - BoS Paladins have a penchant for energy weapons, so it makes sense that Steelhooves knows how his own weapons work, particularly of said energy quality. <h4>Gun Nut</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Being alive for 200 years gives you an opportunity to have a feel for your weapons, again, I keep repeating myself, but Steelhooves knows how to use a fucking gun already! <h4>Medic</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - One of Rampage's personalities, Trottenheimer, gives her some ample knowledge in medicine, as Trottenheimer was med-bay pony for the Ministry of Peace. While limited in said use, given the length of the personality, Trottenheimer knows her anatomy. <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - Other than Steelhooves' automated stimpak injection, Steelhooves doesn't have a vast knowledge of medicine other than the simple and ordinary. It also doesn't help that being a ghoul makes it so that typical hygenics can be overlooked. <h4>VANS</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's desire to kill herself have given her opportunity to know the lay of the land, in a sort of ways. From the borders of the Hoof to other notably dangerous areas. This will require the Nuka-World DLC to get, and if you don't have that, Rampage gets Four Stars in Medicine. <h2><u>AGILITY</u></h2> <h4>Ninja</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Another of Rampage's personalities, Angel, is a criminal who was tortured constantly and brought back to life with a healing talisman in order to further interrogate her. Angel was also a bit of a sociopath, which would make sense Rampage's core personality, and knew her way out of escaping dangerous situations, so Angel taking over Rampage makes her a bit more sneaky and subtle than what Rampage normally is. <h4>Moving Target</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Rampage is manic, crazy, and most importantly, all over the place. While a big and open target, Rampage is a ball of frenzy that is nearly impossible to track properly. <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - While Steelhooves can keep himself on the go, his bulky armor does not necessarily make him as hard to aim for. <h4>Action Boy/ Action Girl</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Precise action is necessary for a win, as Steelhooves would go by. His Enhanced HUD also makes it a bit easier for him to track just how much AP he has to spare, and uses them carefully. You need the Far Harbor DLC to get 3 stars in this, and if you don't have it, Steelhooves gets one star in Gunslinger. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage is active and constantly pined for combat, Rampage is too reckless to properly manage her own stamina, even if it means very little to her. <h4>Mister Sandman</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - When Rampage is able to channel the personality of Angel, she is more than capable of quietly dealing with enemies before they even know what has happened. But only when, and it may very well backfire on her friends... <h4>Sneak</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Again, if Rampage is able to become Angel, she can help others to get out of hard situations with no alarms set, even if it may mean that she is doing it merely for her own good. <h4>Commando</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves can use almost any automatic weapon you throw at him, because he's seen them all in his lifetime. There isn't anything he can't possibly use, in his prior combat work before the great war. <h2><u>LUCK</u></h2> <h4>Mysterious Stranger</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - You might find it strange that I would put this perk on Rampage, but considering how unpredictable her behavior is already, it only makes sense that she'd have a unpredictable companion to help out in desperate times. <h4>Bloody Mess</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Rampage takes pride in all things blood and gorey. Nothing satisfies her more than just being literally covered in her enemies blood, including her own armor. She doesn't like killing her opponents clean or quickly for that matter! <h4>Scrounger</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that Steelhooves had to keep his power armor even functioning in 200 years less than trying to make it combat the dangerous environment, Steelhooves knows where to pick his hooves around, seeing that he lived through it all to know where everything is. <h4>Fortune Finder</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: - Rampage is keen at times to find some caps around, given her fame at the Arena and her prowess for having a target painted on her back. And that is all for the explanations! Medics will be up next, which is Velvet Remedy VS. Morning Glory if you aren't aware. Might take longer given that I have to prepare myself to move out very soon, and trying to do other things like make a video with this new pc (assuming it doesn't go down again!), and writing journals and whatnot!

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x09 - Re-Watch Review

Getting closer to catching up...Probably going to do these for weekly episodes too. 

Pyg donning those costumes. He must be fun on Halloween.

Poor homeless people...I thought you were all about the homeless, Pyg! Now you are just being hypocritical.

Being a hypocrite in Gotham? Crazy.

I imagine that pig mask must reek. Is it a real pig head? The question is directed toward the character, not the actual actor. 

Come on, Harvey. It was not meant to be personal.

Don’t you hate it when boyfriends fight?

Umm not necessarily, Harvey. Fish could have betrayed Falcone and ended up running things instead of him. You and Jim might have been arrested for Oswald's murder too. Lots of different possibilities if Jim killed Oswald. 

You know, deep down, Jim wouldn’t want Ozzie dead. He cares about him too much, you can see it with the way he is so desperate to bring him down and put him behind bars. 

Oswald: Not coming. Nope. No way. Have to investigate. Sofia's thoughts: Penguin isn't coming? Let me mention Martin. That'll change his mind. *mentions Martin* Oswald: Of course I will be there. Wouldn’t miss it!

Mr. Penn is more strategically smart than he's letting on. I’m telling you, he’s more of a mastermind than we all think and he will conquer Gotham next. Do not be fooled. Mr. Penn shall rise!!! 

Someone quiet...if only we knew someone Penguin could trust that fits that exact description.

Cervis is so amazing in this role. I will miss him. 

Well, I will never look at pigs the same way again... 

Seeing Pigs eat people...I do not know if it makes me feel better for eating bacon or more appalled. There is just something ironic about it.  

Alfred with his strict breakfast time. This is the one thing I disagree with you, Alfred. Can no one sleep in? Can you not have a brunch? What if he wanted breakfast food for dinner? You know that is actually a thing.

Bruce drinks coffee? Have we seen him drink coffee before?

Bruce is trying to find distractions for his feelings... I can relate. I mean, that is what fandoms are for, right? 

Let Alfred help you!! I feel like I have said this so many times that it has become my motto. 

It's always nice to see Harper out and about. Please keep her alive. 

Ouch! That stab looked like it hurt. Why Harper? Why???

Oswald helping Martin dress. How nice. Oswald probably learned tips from Elijah and Ed helping him dress. 

Well, Oswald isn't wrong when it comes to Sofia using the children. 

Oh gosh...the tear on Martin's cheek. Do not make him cry again!

Sofia clearly has the press wrapped around her finger. 

Jim is lucky that Foxy is there with such insight. Otherwise he would have to use Gotham's version of Google AKA looking through a bunch of books to find info like a cave man. Could take much longer.

So, is Pyg actually telling Sofia his plans? Is that what is actually happening here? 

I love hearing more about Alfred's past. They should really delve more in it for the show. 

Sometimes I forget how close Alfred was to Bruce's parents. It must have been so hard for him to lose them too...

Wow, Bruce. Alfred just tried to be personal with you...and you steal his car and leave him on the side of the road. Rude. 

Wait, I know Bruce is like 16 but can he drive? Or is there a cut scene where he runs into a tree, jumps out, and just starts running home? 

The matching suits for Oswald and Martin. Like father, like son. 

Jim, I don't recall you having an invitation to be there. Should have RSVP'd.

Oswald meeting Pyg. I love when villains have scenes together. 

Penguin just never catches a break with these dinners. Last year was the mad hatter, this year was Professor Pyg. What next? Condiment King for season 5?

"Is this another one of your plans?" Wow, Penguin guessed it initially. Should have gone with that instinct. 

Honestly, Oswald was right about each of his first thoughts on Sofia. It’s like when you take a test, fill in the right answer, but then second guess yourself then choose the wrong one. Always ends in failing.

Martin being full focus? It's like Pyg knew that Penguin loved him most... 

Pyg singing = the best ever. I love when villains be this extra. I want Pyg and Ed to have an extra off. 

So did Pyg find specifically named homeless people to fit the lyrics to the song? That would explain why he wasn’t in episode 8.

Oswald, you should be use to cannibalism and bodies cooked in food by now. 

This is pay back for when he did it to his step mother, isn't it? 

"But he's just an orphan" -- You're SO dead. 

Imagine cooking all those pies and at least two of them being wasted, uneaten. Pyg went through all the trouble to find homeless people, poison them, cut them up, bake them, and slaved over a hot oven for these pies!

RLT's acting on eating the pie...gosh, when he gagged, I wanted to gag too. 

Pretty sure there is an extended scene where Oswald critiques Pyg’s choice of baking. “Honestly, I would have baked the corpse to the point of crisp and added some flavor to it but that’s just me. I’ve tasted better.”

Jim saving the day, just in time before Sofia can eat a pie. I have to wonder if this was planned or was there even really a dead person in her pie to begin with? 

Wonder what would have happened if Jim just gave up. Would Pyg give up too? Try to kill him anyway?

I am still shocked that Harper is still alive after all this. 

"What you were going to do for Martin...that was real" Was it though??? 

Notice how Penguin agreed to abandon the licenses for Sofia...see, I still think he could have done it with Jim if Jim had just tried to just be his friend himself. Then Jim would ask, "Can you get rid of the licenses?" Oswald would say, "Sure, sure. Whatever you want. Want to get lunch now?" The end. Conflict over. 

"Bye bye piggy! Bye bye!" Gothamites giving intelligent responses to criminals when arrested. 

So, what did they say when Penguin got arrested? Were they just as original?  

First day as captain and he caught the Pyg? Almost as if someone planned it that way. 

I think I missed something. How did Alfred get back exactly? Did he hitch hike? Did he call an uber? 

Everyone being afraid of Alfred and just leaving. They know what’s up.

"Stop trying to be my father and be my butler. Clean this place up" Geez Bruce. He is trying to help you!!! I cannot wait until this moody faze is over. 

So, is Oswald near to tears because Sofia lied to him, Jim is betraying him, or Jim is taken yet again? 

Over all: Funny enough, there wasn’t much surprises in the episode when first watching. Despite this, it was an entertaining episode. It was mostly Pyg and Bruce/Alfred related stories. Professor Pyg was a very fun villain. Penguin and Martin grow closer. Penguin finds out Jim is involved with Sofia and Sofia is trying to bring Oswald down. Jim arrests Pyg, more respected as captain. Bruce keeps spiraling and becoming more a jerk to Alfred. Alfred tries to help Bruce through his moody teen faze. 

Previous Review: 4x08  Next: 4x10

[metawitches]

In Snowpiercer episode 4, Sean’s murder is solved, Josie visits 3rd Class, Andre visits 1st Class and Melanie pulls out her bottle of poisoned sake. Andre and the writers go with the “Lolita made me do it” murder defense to explain why a trained soldier killed several people.

This is a disappointing development for Snowpiercer. No matter what layers and nuances the show might add to the scenario later, a young woman has been publicly blamed for provoking the crimes of her abuser. This is an abuse tactic in and of itself.

Recap

Jinju provides tonight’s opening monologue. As she speaks, she prepares a meal of sushi for herself and Bess, starting with gutting the fish and ending with the two lovers toasting each other over beautifully presented food.

Meanwhile, Erik finishes slaughtering Nikki and lovingly examines his handiwork. Presentation also matters to him. He takes care of his appearance, and Sean’s corpse was certainly presented in a very specific way. Nikki’s is as well.

Poor Nikki Genet. The actress spent all that time in the makeup chair and her character’s life was snuffed out before she could share her secrets. Snowpiercer is a big ole fridge.

The dead, bloody fish are juxtaposed with the dead, bloody woman (after Bess was juxtaposed with the cow in another episode) and then the two women eating the fish. Meat eating is equated with cannibalism and women again. This time violence against animals and violence against women are overtly linked. Hello, Vegetarian Ecofeminism.

Jinju”s voiceover: “Adapt. That’s what humans do, isn’t it? Our great leg up. We roll. We hack. Knuckle down and change. Even Snowpiercer is an adaptation. That was classic Wilford. While the world froze and the other mega-rich tried to hole up in bunkers or upload their consciousness, Mr Wilford dusted off his train set. Snowpiercer is his system. Systems resist change, even without their maker. I’m just a scientist. I’m here to save the world. Not change it. I know our chances at surviving are slim at best. All I can do about that is provide small moments of happiness on Snowpiercer, 1,001 cars long.”

I forgot to mention the knives. So many bloody knives on this train. Jinju’s knives and Erik’s knives and the butcher’s knives. Two of those three are definitely murderers. I think Jinju is indirectly a murderer by creating and cooking the suspension drug and the kronole. I suspect that one of the ways she’s found to spread a little happiness is by making and selling kronole.

We return from the opening credits to nighttime in Melanie’s cabin, where she’s working at her desk. Ben knocks and enters. He tells her she’s working too hard and he needs her to take better care of herself. The train depends on her too much for her to overwork herself into illness. Melanie appreciates his concern. He also wants her to ask for help more often.

He means he wants her to learn to delegate more responsibilities, but she asks him to peel her tangerine instead. Control freaks never change. As they share the orange, he asks if she’s found a workaround for the lost cow methane. She has. She’s going to replace it with goat farts (goat methane). They joke that her MIT degree is really paying off. So is her degree from Yale Engineering School.

Later we’ll discover they’re wasting human methane down on 3rd Class.

Melanie has a map of the world on her wall and has written notes on her wall, all around the map, but I can’t make them legible. The map is some kind of polar projection perspective, maybe of Russian origin. The opening credits show Snowpiercer’s track following the outline of the continents (screencaps of opening credits in commentary section). This map makes it easier to see how the continents could be connected by tracks at their closest points.

Roche wakes Andre up to deal with Nikki’s murder. Melanie gets the call telling her that Nikki is dead.

Jinju and Bess linger in bed after spending the night together. Jinju wants Bess to walk her to work, but Bess feels weird about it, because there’s a stigma among Thirdies about dating uptrain. Bess thinks that Jinju doesn’t understand, because 2nd Class can swing in either direction, socializing with 1st or 3rd Class, while the other two classes are segregated among their own kind.

Jinju says they need to put aside old differences, like being from Detroit and San Francisco, and new ones, and start over in what’s left of the world. Then she gets the call from Melanie telling her that Nikki is dead. She answers using her official title, Agricultural Officer.

Melanie finds Klimpt sobbing on floor. After a few words of sympathy, she charges him with redeeming himself by discreetly moving Nikki’s body, then helping with the autopsy in order to obtain essential postmortem data.

She says, “Do you understand what I’m asking you? Will you do that for me, Henry?”

That sounds like she’s asking him for more than observations about how Nikki was murdered. She wouldn’t sound so secretive about forensic data for the case. Does this have to do with “the other work” she mentioned to Jinju?

Andre heard their conversation, but doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he asks Melanie why she didn’t make an arrest last night, when he gave her the killer’s description. Melanie says she was waiting until morning.

Bess realizes that the borders between classes have been closed all night, since the fight. Andre says that the killer is from 1st. He must have left the fight early to follow Bess and Nikki back to the Drawers, then gotten stuck downtrain overnight when the borders closed. He wouldn’t have had time to get uptrain. Melanie agrees that he must still be in 3rd.

Erik has been in the 3rd Class dining car for hours. When the restaurant switches to breakfast, he moves on, leaving a couple of 1st Class drink tokens behind.

Grey, Ruth, Roche and Till take over the Night Car to develop their strategy for searching for Erik. Roche is either equal to or in charge of Grey. Right now, he’s giving orders to the jackboot commander. Grey and Ruth try to get Andre sent out of the room when Melanie brings him in, so that he doesn’t pick up more details about the train.

Andre argues that he should be involved since he’s the one who obtained the killer’s description. Grey doesn’t want him going to 1st Class either. Andre and Melanie agree to question 1st Class together once the others are busy with the search for Erik.

Andre: “You have to clear that with Mr Wilford, or is that your call?”

Melanie lets Grey know that she decides whether Andre is allowed in 1st Class, not him, and tells Ruth to wake up everyone from 1st who was at the fight. Ruth doesn’t like the idea of upsetting the Firsties. Andre can’t believe she’s more worried about the comfort of the Firsties than finding the serial killer.

Grey will start at the Tail end of the train and Roche will start at the front of 3rd. They’ll do a thorough search and sweep, meeting in the middle at Ag Sec. The subtrain is still closed to all non essential personnel, but Grey will send an extra unit down anyway.

Roche sends Till and Oz to start the search. She’s shocked that Oz hasn’t been suspended for dealing kronole, but Roche maintains that they need everyone for this operation, so she and Oz will have to work out their differences on their own. (Her real problem might be that he ran from the Tailie rebellion, leaving her to be held hostage.)

Commander Grey, with his baton placed like a firearm to signal that he’s a predator on the hunt.

Note the optical illusions caused by the decorative trim at the top and bottom of the image. Miss Audrey has animal furs nearby. She’s dangerous in her own way.

Miss Audrey, dressed in widow’s weeds, makes her entrance down the grand staircase. She shoots Andre a look and he follows her into a private room to speak alone. But alone is never alone on the train, so this is still a coded conversation.

They speak in a padded room. Y’all know padded rooms are normally reserved for the severely mentally ill, right? Maybe some people need the private room experience more than others. Maybe on a super emergency, wearing a straight jacket so they don’t hurt themselves, type of basis.

Once they get in the room, Daveed Diggs and Lena Hall have so much chemistry together it’s ricocheting off the padded walls. It makes me wonder if the characters knew each other before the train. The way the scene is staged and shot is classic film noir, which generally means things are being hidden from the audience and probably from at least one of the characters, though I tend to think these two are co-conspirators hiding their plot from everyone out in the club.

The two circle and pace around each other as they speak, testing whether they can trust each other and whether one or the other is going to attempt to assert dominance, since this is the first time the two leaders have been alone. They’re on Audrey’s territory, but Andre is a man, physically larger and currently has Melanie’s ear. He could be a spy and he could assert physical or sexual dominance. He does neither and shows Audrey respect instead by showing her he values her opinions.

Remember this moment later for his conversation with LJ. He works to earn Miss Audrey’s trust and respect.

By the end, they’ve found at least a temporary sense of balance and trust, so they stand face to face and speak intimately. She gives him a bit of information about Melanie- that she never visits the private rooms. That means Melanie’s needs for intimacy are being met elsewhere, revealing a potential source of information, blackmail and a hostage if it comes down to it. Audrey also tells him that she’s sure there aren’t any leaks among her people. She agrees that Nikki’s death has the Thirdies riled up, but tells him he still needs to move cautiously toward engaging them in a full on revolution.

When Melanie enters, Audrey snaps at her to distract her from wondering what they were talking about. It’s a gutsy move toward the boss who allocates supplies and assigns people to jobs. Maybe Audrey has more on Melanie than she admitted to Andre. Or maybe the Night Car and Audrey are just that essential to the continued functioning of the train.

Andre: “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Miss Audrey: “If the killer’s from First, they’ll only let you get so far, and there won’t be any justice for Nikki.”

Andre: “How’s Third gonna take that? Both victims are theirs.”

Miss Audrey: “That remains to be seen, Detective.”

Andre: “Now that I’ve got a sense of what you do here, I thought you might have a take on it. You know people, high and low. You know their secrets.”

Miss Audrey: “Strict confidentiality. It’s assured in the Night Car.”

Andre: “I appreciate that. Melanie Cavill ever have a session?”

Miss Audrey: “That would be confidential- if the answer wasn’t no- she’s never shown herself like that.”

Andre: “Maybe now she’ll have to. Think Nikki’s death could be a catalyst?”

Miss Audrey: “Catalyst for what?”

Andre: “From what I hear, a lot of workers are pretty fed up.”

Miss Audrey: “You need to step carefully Detective, but, many of us do want change.”

Melanie knocks on the door and enters: “We’re waking First. Audrey, I promise I’ll do everything I can…”

Miss Audrey interrupts her: “Cut the BS, Melanie. You have my support, Detective.”

Miss Audrey leaves the room.

Melanie: “I’m holding the subtrain.”

Andre: “Not a lot of downtrain faith that the powers that be actually want to solve this thing, now that the suspect’s from first.”

Melanie- “I want it solved. And it doesn’t matter which class the suspect is from. Let’s go.”

He tipped Melanie off that he knows she’s Wilford, so she isn’t even bothering to hide that she’s in charge anymore. It must be a scary relief to be honest for once. She says she’ll make sure the murder is solved, but that doesn’t mean she’ll make sure anyone other than Erik, who’s not really a Firstie, is taken down. Or that she’ll delve into the reason why Sean was killed, if she can simply say that Erik was a serial killer who chose random victims.

The Tailies examine the blue chip and discuss what to do with it first and how far forward it will get them. They decide to have one of the sanitation crew use it to leave their breakroom during lunch. One of the Tailies who made the apprenticeship program early on, Astrid, now works making their nutritional bars. If they can make contact with her, they can set up a communication system and contact Andre.

Since Big John is becoming too sick to work, it’s decided that Josie will take his place and use the chip. She’ll blend in more easily than one of the more familiar guys on the crew. Lights wraps Josie’s arm with a cloth bandage, hiding the chip inside.

When the jackboots call for the sanitation crew, Josie joins them. They give her the eye, probably looking forward to the show when they make the crew strip naked and hose them down with cold water. They do this before the sanitation work, possibly trying to stop the Tailies from bringing parasites forward into 3rd, but maybe just as a humiliation tactic.

Melanie walks Andre through a corridor lined with some of the most valuable paintings in the world. Andre is openly disgusted by the greed and hoarding this corridor shows. It’s clear that the lower classes aren’t visiting the museum.

Melanie: “Layton, I was born on a dirt farm in Eastern Pennsylvania. I came from nothing. I know a thing or two about class. That anger that you feel, when you look at all of this? It’s justified. Let’s use it. Whoever the killer is, First is going to protect their own, so you be their worst nightmare from the Tail. I’ll do the rest.”

He takes one more look around, then follows her into the First Class dining car.

At first I thought Melanie might have made up her rags to riches story, but watching how fiercely she says the lines, I think she was serious. She hates the Firsties as much as most of the rest of the train does, but they are part of the order of the train and thus a necessary evil. It would be too disruptive to force them to change, so she tries to keep them under control. I don’t think she was as upset by the loss of the cows as Jinju, since she replaced their functions quickly and the train can be repaired.

But that story was unprecedented honesty about herself from Melanie. It feels like a spider weaving a web to trap an unsuspecting fly. Miss Audrey was right about being cautious. There is an unprecedented level of theatre going on for the rest of the episode, amongst Melanie, Andre, LJ, her parents and the side players. Each has their secrets and goals and is steering the conversation accordingly.

There aren’t many people in the dining car, but a breakfast buffet has been laid out. Andre stalks in, announcing that he doesn’t care who any of them are, but he knows one of them has a thing for chopping off 1st Class male appendages. LJ springs to attention the moment he enters. Now she laughs out loud. She’s been waiting for someone to become her parents’ worst nightmare for the last 7 years.

Andre eats from a serving utensil and speaks with his mouth full. He complains to Ruth that some of the fight spectators are missing. York complains that getting them out of bed for this is uncalled for. “No one from 1st Class has ever been charged with a crime.”

York doesn’t see the irony in his statement.

Andre tells York that he should thank Melanie for his luck so far, but Mr Wilford is taking a different approach this time. Melanie confirms it when Andre points to her.

He asks where the bodyguards are. No one answers.

He asks Ruth how many arms she’s taken in the Tail. When she doesn’t answer, he tells her- 14. That would 13 in the Year 3 Rebellion and Suzanne’s in episode 2. He asks her again, this time in a more serious tone of voice, “Where are the bodyguards?”

Hospitality Deputy Ruth, while wearing her uniform, says in all seriousness, “I didn’t invite the help.”

LJ: “Erik didn’t come home last night.”

Melanie: “He didn’t?”

Robert (Lilah may be the Queen of 1st Class, but Robert is still the King, where the buck stops and the hammer falls.): “No. He asked to leave the fight early and when we came back, he wasn’t here.”

Sharma: “You knew he was missing and didn’t tell us?”

Melanie: “Tell Roche Erik’s a suspect.”

LJ: “He has his gun, too.”

Robert and Lilah: “LJ!”

LJ: “What? I saw he had it with him last night.”

Andre: “He has his gun? There are no guns allowed on the Snowpiercer.”

Sharma: “Our security was allowed to keep their sidearm.”

Andre: “The rest of us were disarmed to keep you safe. I’m going to need to see Erik’s quarters.”

I’m not clear how much of what Andre, LJ and Erik do for the rest of the episode is preplanned and I don’t know if Andre really didn’t know about the guns or not, but he uses this as a turning point. Erik’s been wearing his gun in a thigh holster and visiting 3rd Class all season, so bodyguards with guns should be common knowledge on the train, all the way back to the Tail.

This is my interpretation of what we’re shown.

Lilah refuses to allow Andre into their car. He certainly won’t be searching through their things. She demands to speak to Mr Wilford, on behalf of everyone in First Class. LJ is extremely amused by her parents discomfort.

Melanie looks uncomfortable, but she goes to the phone and pretends to call Mr Wilford. Ben answers and realizes that they’re pretending he’s Mr Wilford again, so he plays along. Melanie explains the situation to Ben/Wilford. Lilah stands her ground until Melanie holds out the phone to her, then she backs down and agrees to let Andre into the Folgers’ car, as long as Melanie is present.

Melanie tells Ben that his services aren’t needed after all. He says, “I miss you, Mel.” She says, “Thank you for that.”

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Erik walks through the Chains, throwing off observers, until he finds the storage space he uses as his hiding place when he needs a break from the Folgers. He goes inside and puts his gun on a crate that also has candles on it.

The sanitation crew, which today includes Josie, Santiago and Last Australian, is brought into their horrifically toxic break room for lunch. It’s so filled with methane from the human waste they work with that the jackboot who escorts them wears a gas mask. It’s awful for them, too, but they’ve grown grown used to living in unlivable conditions, so they push through it. The crew has hidden anything they could scrunge in the cracks and crevices of the room. They pull out pajamas for Josie to change into from her sanitation uniform. It’s the middle of the night, so they figure the pajamas won’t be so noticable. The chip works, so she’s off to find the 3rd Class dining car and Astrid.

In the Folgers’ car, Andre tosses Erik’s sleeping area, rifling through the pages of every book and dumping out every container, then dropping them on the floor, like every TV cop ever. Though he’s quiet and polite as he works, Lilah and Robert are still put out. LJ offers him a beverage. He declines.

Andre notices a framed photo of Erik when he was a Marine. He asks what else they can tell him about their bodyguard. Robert says all they know about him is that they hired him to keep them safe and he did. LJ adds that he saved her life, but Lilah tells her, “It’s not pertinent.”

Wow, he lived with them for 7 years and the adults are going to play it like he was someone they barely knew and had no feelings about. Cold.

Andre finds a flat, squared off tool with a sharp edge. LJ says that it’s a J-hook, used for beekeeping. Erik found it and showed it it to her. She has a defiant look now. Ruth realizes that it’s from Snowpiercer’s old hives. Melanie explains that they used to keep bees until they died from colony collapse 3 years ago. Then the beekeeping supplies were packed up and put into storage. Andre asks them to send Till to find the crate the J-hook came from. While Melanie calls Till, Ruth takes Lilah and Robert into the living room to discuss their strategy for making sure this doesn’t affect the family’s reputation.

Josie sits down with Astrid as she’s eating a bowl of porridge in the dining car. Astrid is thrilled to see her. Astrid is in Food Processing, where she cuts and loads the bars, but she doesn’t have access to ingredients. She tells Josie that Andre is working as a detective, trying to solve a murder.

Josie explains that they want Astrid to make contact with him. She knows that Astrid could get sent back to the Tail for helping them, but they need her. Josie gets distracted by seeing the sun and the mountains outside. Astrid calls her back. They agree that they are OneTail. Astrid gives Josie her bowl of porridge.

Andre finds a stash of Erik’s photos and notices that he doesn’t come from a privileged past. LJ says he had a tough childhood. Andre asks LJ if she thinks Erik is capable of these murders. She replies, “Maybe. He sure wasted those rioters who tried to grab me on the way to Snowpiercer.”

Andre: “Is that when he saved your life?”

LJ: “He joked about being cold-blooded. Born for The Freeze.”

In the other room,  Robert and Lilah assure each other that Erik’s actions don’t need to reflect badly on them. And Erik’s actions certainly weren’t their fault. But Lilah is concerned about the resulting track talk.

Robert: “Over the years, we learned that as a private soldier, Erik did things. That’s what he’s for. Not psychotic murder.”

Lilah: “It can’t come off like we have sheltered a monster.”

It seems clear who the monsters are. But we’re just getting started. It’s not enough to dehumanize the man they lived with for 7 years into a killing machine meant for their personal use. They intend to throw their daughter under the bus, too.

Meanwhile, Andre asks LJ if Erik ever got aggressive or weird with her.

He must have had some amazing sensitivity training back at the police station that led to him using that kind of specific language with a young woman whose best friend and bodyguard has turned out to be a serial killer. With Melanie the judgy ice queen sitting next to him.

Where’s the guy who was so effective with the Tailies after their rebellion? He takes the opposite approach with LJ, poking at her wounds so she’ll shut down and reveal as little as possible rather than making her comfortable so she’ll talk.

In addition to the other complexities of this situation, he doesn’t want her to reveal anything to Melanie that would compromise the revolution. I believe Erik was working for all of the sides on the Train: He was Melanie’s spy and hitman, the Folgers’ bodyguard and drug runner and an occasional rebel Tailie agent as well. Since LJ was with him so much, she knows much more than she even realizes she knows. And she clearly knows a lot.

  LJ glances over at Melanie, then moves to the other side of the room and asks if they really don’t have windows in the Tail. Two can play the embarrassment game, Detective. She opens a shade, letting the light pour in, watching for his reaction, in the same the way he and Melanie are staring at her, watching for her every reaction. In the same way she’s been stared at as a Firstie every time she’s gone downtrain for the last 7 years.

But maybe it’s also an invitation to let some light in on her family’s life and on the activities of First Class.

Before she opens the shade, Andre tells her that most of the people in the Tail haven’t seen the sun in 7 years and asks how that makes her feel. She says that they didn’t have tickets.

Touché. It’s unfair to put the weight of the political system of the train on a child, especially one he doesn’t know, and that political debate has nothing to do with what’s happening to her family right now. It’s his issue, which he’s forcing into this moment because he’s not really investigating a murder. He’s prosecuting a war.

And Melanie is standing right there.

Andre has no idea who LJ is inside and he’s not giving her any reason to show him. If anything, he’s encouraging her to hide behind the walls Erik built around her. Andre doesn’t care about LJ at all, and she can see that. He only cares about what she can do for him. He’s another man who’s interested in using the Firstie princess, like everyone else on the train.

LJ didn’t choose to get on the train or to be a 1st Class passenger. She was forced into her situation and is now trying to cope with her own lack of power or options for the future. She’s just lost the only friend she had who’s showed her loyalty and who wasn’t ancient by her standards or separated from her by class. Everyone else is much older or younger or in the lower classes, and they won’t accept her, as Bess told us earlier.

Where does that leave LJ? Erik was her abuser, but he was all LJ had, in many ways. Her parents are terrible and she probably hates them. Her life is a dead end. Like everyone on Snowpiercer, she has very good reasons to be depressed and even suicidal.

Melanie reminds LJ that Andre asked about her relationship with Erik.

Andre: “Did he tell you things or ask you to keep secrets?”

Andre is asking LJ this to determine whether she knows details about the murders, but these are also standard behaviors for abusers, especially pedophiles. A yes answer would almost certainly mean that Erik was having an inappropriate relationship with LJ, and that he pushed her to keep it to herself.

Andre is toying with LJ’s emotions, trying to box her into a particular corner.

LJ goes wide-eyed, then shifty-eyed, then glances at Melanie and moves to sit down. She doesn’t look straight at either of them the whole time. Finally, she refuses to talk about it. It’s clear the answer is yes, he asked her to keep secrets.

Andre uses a nod of his head to ask Melanie to leave the room. She joins Ruth and the Folgers, asking about LJ’s relationship with Erik. She picked up on their abusive sexual relationship.

But she left LJ alone in the room to be questioned by a strange man anyway. This is a terrible scenario for getting the information they want from LJ. Now she’ll be triggered rather than feeling more comfortable speaking about her abusive, traumatic memories. Normally, you’d want to bring in a young, warm female officer like Till, who LJ could relate to more easily, to do the questioning, not a large man who’s purposely been using threatening techniques.

I believe Andre wanted LJ to be triggered, so that she’d be disoriented enough to go along with his plans for her without thinking them through.

Astrid leaves Josie in a corridor near the breakroom. After they hug goodbye, Josie turns around and sees Miles, now renamed Christopher, walking past another mysterious server farm with a strange woman. He’s telling the woman that his mother would understand. They disappear into a room and don’t notice Josie.

Santiago is panicking in the breakroom, since Josie’s time is almost up. She slips back in with seconds to spare. Her friends help her with a quick clothing change. When the jackboots return to send them back to work, they don’t notice anything amiss.

Bess and Oz are sent to the Chains to search for Erik in the beehive storage closet. He’s still there when they find the closet, but he escapes through the ceiling and leads them on a chase throughout the car.

LJ tells Andre that Erik, who is mixed race, hated his white dad, but he brought some of his father’s old records on the train. While she’s putting one on the player, a cat jumps on the couch and startles Andre. He hasn’t seen one in 7 years. LJ explains that Erik saved Snowpeter’s life, too.

Smuggling the cat on board shows that Erik doesn’t torture animals, one sign of someone who is a psychotic, unfeeling killer. It also shows that he cares about more than the upper classes, unlike most of the Firsties. Since the cat was smuggled on by one of the lower classes to save his life, rather than brought on as a Firstie’s pampered pet, he’s symbolic of the ticketless passengers and shows LJ’s true feelings about them as well.

Andre might still take Snowpeter’s presence as a symbol of 1st Class excess, if he’s never had a mouse problem. We know there are rats on the train and if anything survives the Freeze, it’ll be the mice, rats and cockroaches. Cats are essential.

She plays Bobby Vinton’s Sealed with a Kiss and slow dances as she sings along: “Though we’ve gotta say goodbye for the summer, baby, I’ll promise you this, I’ll send you all my love in letter, sealed with a kiss.”

For the rest of the scene, she acts in a sexualized manner, something we haven’t seen from her before, in actions or dress. She thinks Andre wanted to be alone in the room with her in order to perform sex acts, like he did with Zarah in the Night Car, and Erik and did with her. (The train is a small town with a large rumor mill.)

So, she puts on Erik’s sex music and dances for Andre like she did for Erik. Erik may even have been prostituting her out, with or without her father’s blessing, on their trips to the tail. The “Blue-Eyed Firstie Girl” would draw a good price.

LJ brings up the Tailie cannibalism story. She thinks it’s a good story, because it makes everyone scared of Andre. She’d eat someone to make everyone scared of her, the way they are with the Tailies.

She totally called him on that story. That’s exactly why he told it to Till and Pelton during Sean’s autopsy. Till has been busy creating the Legend of the Tailie Detective, just as Andre planned.

Andre thinks about what she said for a minute. She’s given him an opening he can use to to exploit her for his own purposes. He makes his decision.

“I know this song. So did Nikki Genet.” He tells her he recognizes what she’s saying. He’ll insert her into his official story of the crimes Erik committed.

LJ: “You know, you’re a lot cooler smashing the system than you are being Wilford’s dick.”

(This is about more than just the murders. Erik wasn’t just a hitman with a flare for gruesome crime scenes.)

Andre (chuckles): “Well, maybe we can do both.”

(He understands that. Next he offers his plan and where she fits in it.)

Andre, holding out the J-hook: “Erik ever tell you what he did with this?”

By asking her what Erik did, he’s admitting he knows she’s innocent and putting the ball in her court for a moment. This is her chance to back out and tell him straight out that she had nothing to do with Erik’s crimes. Or they can build a story that includes her in the murders, so that Melanie can’t sweep Erik’s death and all the others under the rug.

LJ gets a sly look on her face. She understands what he’s doing.

Cut to Lilah saying “Never.”

Lilah acts like a mother for once and confesses LJ’s innocence for her, but it remains unheard.

Lilah tells Melanie that Erik practically raised LJ.

He cared about her in his twisted way and probably didn’t involve her in the murders or describe them to her. If she was the Bonnie to his Clyde, it was only after she was extensively groomed. The episode makes the case that Erik wasn’t born a killer either, he was turned into one by the abuse he suffered as a child, his military training and experiences and the oppression he suffered.

Robert insists to Lilah that they tell the truth, because it will come out anyway. He admits that “Erik and LJ are close”.

Robert: “I can’t say no to her. It’s these times. Morality is a moving target.”

After blaming Erik for following orders when told and/or paid to commit violent acts, Robert now admits that he gave a violent adult man permission to have sex with his young teenage daughter under his own roof. Then he blames his teenage daughter and society for his inability to say no.

Robert is a sociopath.

He generally lets Lilah take the fall for him in public, though it’s clear he’s the one with the ultimate power. He attempts to keep his hands clean and his reputation flawless at all times, and when he can’t, he claims he was led astray due to his compassion or some other understandable flaw, while others were the real wrongdoers.

Jinju visits Anton, a tailor in the Chains, to pick up a gift for Bess. Erik wears a hoodie and wanders the Chains anonymously while Bess and Oz search. When they spot him, he steps into Anton’s shop and grabs Jinju. Anton is shocked to see a gun. Erik tells both hostages to be quiet.

Andre tells LJ that they took him out of the Tail against his will to solve Sean’s murder. He doesn’t care how the case turns out. But Erik screwed up by castrating his victims, since that turns a cold-blooded contract kill into a crime of passion. And, according to Andre, castration is a punishment that women lay down on men.

A quick google search will tell you that this isn’t true, but, once again, this is fiction. Layton is sending this story in the direction he wants it to go, just as Melanie and Ruth spend their days doing.

He told LJ they could smash the hated system together, so she’s listening for what he’s offering. She could punish a man named Wilford if she goes along with Andre’s version of events.

Andre: “That wasn’t [Erik’s] idea was it? He was probably just controlling the victim for somebody else, right? So, are we playing your song?”

He holds the J-hook out to her with a small smile. She looks at it for a long moment, then makes her decision and takes it. She continues dancing.

He just asked her if she’s willing to go along with his version of events. By taking the J-hook, she agreed. She doesn’t completely understand the implications of what he just implied.

Andre: “S**t, if I was a blue-eyed Firstie girl, I’d be playing for time, too. Erik’s going down in a blaze of glory, right?”

I’m not completely sure about what he means about playing for time. He must be implying that she’s trying to put off being arrested for as long as possible, hoping she’ll get off, the traditional meaning of the phrase.

But it’s clear that’s not what she’s doing. She’s already turned Erik in and told them where to look for him. That’s the opposite of playing for time. I don’t think Erik planned to go down in a blaze of glory, though I do think he plans to shoot the electrical junction box, so maybe his death is also planned. This episode doesn’t give us all of the information we need to understand what’s happening during the questioning and manhunt.

LJ: “He’s not going to the drawers.”

Andre: “So, no one tells… And you finally got to feel something… When he held those men down for you.”

No one tells… Both Nikki and Erik die in order to ensure their silence. LJ revealed he hadn’t come home after the fight so that he’d be part of Andre’s investigation before the jackboots murder him, rather than after he’s dead when the case will quickly be closed. She also makes sure that he’s killed rather enduring whatever it is they’re doing to people in the drawers. LJ and Erik may have had a suicide pact saying they’d rather die than go to the drawers.

And you finally got to feel something… I’m not sure about this yet- I think he’s giving her something to use in her trial, but it could be what he really thinks of her. She’s not numb inside at all, instead she’s putting up a good front, but anyone who resents her only sees the front, not the fragile bravado. At a trial that’s meant to crucify her and First Class, acting like a spoiled, numb Firstie who killed Thirdies for sport would make the lower classes even more angry, which is Andre’s goal. It’s also a good mask for LJ to wear to help her get through the upcoming ordeal. He probably already guesses he won’t be there for it, but she doesn’t.

When he held those men down for you… She hasn’t seen the bodies up close, so she needs to make sure her story fits the forensic story they tell. He’s giving her the information she needs.

She’s a little overwhelmed by how intense this all is. Then they look at each other with a glint in their eye and the deal is sealed. They play a little game, where she pretends to try to bribe him to let her go, but she’s really offering to actually get the Tailies stuff if they can figure out the logistics.

I believe that she and Erik were drug runners who were taking the kronole from 1st/2nd to 3rd Class, so this isn’t actually as naive an offer as it might seem. (They were getting noodle soup at the 3rd class lunch counter, remember?) She knows the bodyguards, the kronole network and is wealthy. She can use that.

She offers to get blueprints; he counters with guns. We don’t see the end of that conversation, so whether or not they make a deal is left a mystery. But she points at his crotch, where he kept items that Zarah smuggled to him. Maybe she wants to trade sexual favors for whatever she can get him. Maybe she’s telling him others have made that kind of deal, as we’ve seen multiple times.

LJ having access to guns isn’t a surprise. Access to blueprints suggests there’s a sympathetic engineer. Is Ben a double agent?

Back to the manhunt for Erik. Things are getting real. Roche and Grey have pulled the bulk of their men toward the Chains. He has Jinju and Anton sitting on the floor of the shop at gunpoint. He says, “She said this was coming?” Jinju asks him, “Who? Your girl?” Strange that she would jump to that assumption. When Jinju says that, Erik elbows Anton in the head and picks up Jinju, taking her out of the shop with him.

He puts himself in plain sight at the end of the car and lets everyone get a good look at Jinju, train chef and chemist, plus Till’s girlfriend. He fires a shot into the crowd to make sure he has their attention- this part was preplanned. Then he drags Jinju through a set of doors and through 2 cars full of server banks.

Seriously, is every other car a server farm? What are they for? While that would explain their perpetual battery issues, shouldn’t the heat they generate easily heat the train?

When they get to the other end of the car, he opens a hatch to the subtrain. They get down to the next level just before the brakemen and jackboots catch up, led by Till.

Erik takes Jinju a little way down the track, stopping next to a sign that says “Subtrain 778”. He has her stand on the opposite side of the track from him while they wait for law enforcement to catch up. She asks his name, but he doesn’t answer.

When the jackboots reach the ends of the cars to either side of him, he has Jinju turn around and kneel. He tells the jackboots to drop their batons. Then he shoots at an electrical junction box that’s above Jinju’s head. The bullet ricochets off the box and hits Erik in the arm. It leaves a hole in the box with something venting out. Methane? Steam?

Once he’s incapacitated by the bullet, Grey has the jackboots advance on him. He puts up a good fight, but he’s no match for their axes. They hack him to death, then keep hacking until he’s in pieces. Roche calls Melanie to give her the news.

Melanie is still in the Folgers’ car. She’s on the phone a long time and has a strange look on her face. When she tells the Folgers that Erik’s dead, LJ bursts into tears. As Lilah holds LJ, Andre nods to Melanie that she should arrest the Folgers’ daughter.

Andre: “Erik was a dog who did what he was told. And Lilah Junior told him to torture and kill two 3rd Class men.”

The Folgers are outraged. LJ attacks Andre, but the jackboots subdue her.

Seriously? The first murder must have been when she was 12 or 13. She’s quite the femme fatale in the making. LJ thought she was admitting to acting as Erik’s accomplice, whose only crime was the castrations, which would be close enough to cannibalism to make her seem formidable to the train. She’d serve a short sentence in the drawers and then get out, like Nikki. But she wouldn’t be murdered, because there would be no reason to.

By saying that Erik held the men down while LJ committed the crimes, Andre made her the one who was culpable and him the accessory. Andre didn’t tell LJ whether he’d say she or Erik committed the murders. She should have kept her mother, an attorney, in the room during the questioning, in order to avoid this very thing.

As Voice of the Tain, Melanie announces that the killer is dead and another suspect has been arrested. Order has been restored and justice will prevail. Andre asks if she’s in charge of making sure justice prevails.

She offers to buy him a drink in the Aquarium Bar. They toast each other with sake and she asks him what he thinks Wilford’s secret was. He says he just wants to go back to the Tail. She tells him she can’t let him do that. He’s seen too much. And she knows he’s figured out her secret.

He passes out from drugs in the wine. She makes sure he doesn’t get hurt on the way down, then tells him she’s sorry.

Well, as long as she feels bad about it.

Last Australian passes out nutrition bars in the Tail, with the charm of any professional maitre d’. He finds a metal capsule from Astrid hidden in one and brings it to Josie. The message inside says, “Layton’s missing.”

Melanie oversees Klimpt as he preps Andre for the drawer. She tells Klimpt to keep him off book and undamaged.

Commentary

Andre is nothing if not brave. He goaded Melanie into putting him in the drawers with Pike and the other Tailie rebels and she played into his hands. But who would be willing to voluntarily undergo the drawers after everything we’ve watched Nikki go through for the last 3 episodes?

Grey had Erik thoroughly killed so that the story can circulate and become a legend which appeases the masses. We saw Oz weaving a similar story about the rebellion of episode 1. But if 3rd Class isn’t worked up about getting justice over a Firstie murdering Thirdies, they won’t join Andre’s rebellion. He needs a true Firstie on trial.

Is it me, or does Ruth seem to be looking fresher and happier each day, while Melanie looks more frazzled as Snowpiercer’s order becomes harder to maintain? And Ruth is always making sure she keeps Robert, the kingpin of First Class, happy, no matter what. When the military coup happens, does she have plans to become the new Melanie?

The holes  the butcher made to breach the cattle car window looked alot like the bullet hole Erik made in the electrical box. Will the holes in the cattle car window be discovered and used to frame someone eventually?

I can’t imagine that Melanie, Miss Audrey and Zarah are supposed to sisters or even related, but they sure look like they should be. Somebody got Zarah called up out of the Tail and into the Night Car. Meanwhile Melanie and Audrey snipe at each other like two people with a history that goes far beyond a business relationship, especially if we’re to believe that Melanie doesn’t visit the Night Car. There’s some bad blood between them, and Melanie’s guilty enough about it that she lets Audrey speak in openly negative terms to her in front of Andre. Of course, that could be one of the reasons Andre has to go in the drawer at the end of the episode…

Speaking of 19 Century mourning practices (I will later), the hair of the dead was often collected and made into artwork or jewelry as a keepsake, much as we keep the dead’s ashes and sometimes make keepsakes with cremation ashes. Klimpt has been seen with passengers’ hair several times now. Could he be collecting samples for this purpose, since there wouldn’t be a crematorium or cemetery on the train? There might not even be photographs or any way to paint portraits, other than for 1st Class.

In her opening voiceover, Jinju mentions that many of the wealthy uploaded their consciousnesses. Shends by saying she just wants to provide some happiness on Snowpiercer. Nikki said being in the drawer wasn’t like sleep. This makes me wonder if the server banks hold uploaded consciousnesses and the people in the drawers are having their consciousnesses uploaded and experimented on. Did Nikki go to the San Junipero of Snowpiercer’s server banks?

That would add a new wrinkle to Melanie sending Andre to the drawers. Maybe she’s actually showing him another aspect of the train before she brings him in on her rebellion against 1st Class. Server farms suck up an incredible amount of energy. If they hold wealthy people’s minds and much of Snowpiercer’s battery power goes to power servers, it would be an injustice most people aren’t even aware of. “The other work” might be the search for a way to create fast growing human clones and then develop a way to download minds into them.

Jinju’s opening statement, in addition to her scenes with Klimpt, also lead me to believe she’s the one who makes the kronole.

Snowpiercer’s Distortions

This episode is full of optical illusions, mirror images and visual distortions. If you didn’t understand that nothing is as it seems on Snowpiercer before, the scene in Melanie’s cabin should have told you all by itself, between the skewed view of the world (map), the outer layer peeled off the fruit by a different person from the one who was meant to eat it (Eve gave Adam the apple, kids), the reversed image of the name of Melanie’s Ivy League school.

Then there was the way Melanie was up all night, alone, to figure out how to save humanity using goat flatulence. All of those heroes running around all episode, trying to catch a serial killer, and Melanie is busy being the real hero in the dark of night, figuring out how to use goats more efficiently. SO emasculating to the poor jackboots and their leader.

Both Ben and Melanie appeared in the mirror, suggesting he might have a double life we don’t know about yet, maybe just as her boyfriend, maybe something beyond that. Miss Audrey and Andre also spoke to each other while pacing in front of a mirror in a padded room. Contradictions upon contradictions. How are we to ever find the truth with those two?

There were reflected images everywhere in this episode, too many to analyze what it might mean for every character. They’re all spies, they’re all being spied on, they’re all using the black market and the black market is using all of them.

Widow’s Weeds and Proxy Wars

A note about Miss Audrey’s mourning outfit, which she’s wearing complete with the weeping veil, to make sure we know she’s in mourning dress: The custom of wearing of all black, or widow’s weeds, during a long period of mourning, often for a year and a day after the death of a husband or close relative, was at its height throughout the 19th century. It’s particularly associated with Britain’s Queen Victoria because after her husband died in 1861, she wore her widow’s weeds for the rest of her life, another 40 years. In the US, widow’s weeds are also associated with our Civil War, when so many died on both sides and many widows and children were impoverished because there were no men left for them to remarry.

Make no mistake, Miss Audrey is wearing that veil as a symbol of rebellion, to remind Melanie of her failures, and Melanie knows it. Miss Audrey is wearing a 50s/60s version of widow’s weeds, when she’d be mourning her Korean and Vietnam War dead- two Cold War proxy wars in which innocent young men died for the political struggles of the powerful and wealthy.

Similar to the way Sean, Nikki and Erik are dying for Melanie and the Folgers’ Cold War on Snowpiercer.

If you understand Miss Audrey’s outfit, you can solve Sean and Nikki’s murders, understand the kronole drug war and decode what happens to Erik and LJ in this episode.

More on the Power Structure on the Train

First, a little more of my theory of what’s happening on the train: My current guess is that the Folgers are the drug kingpins who ultimately finance and control the kronole trade, and probably other black market businesses, but Lilah and Robert don’t get their hands dirty. York is the COO who takes care of the daily drug and gambling operations, maybe more, such as prostitution, blackmail and protection for all of those independent small businesses in 3rd.

Erik and the other bodyguards are drug runners and possibly in collections for gambling debts and protection money. Jinju is the kronole cooker. She’s probably its inventor. Klimpt was covering for her, but he’s also heavily involved in the black market and probably in the drug market. He may actually be the one to hand kronole off to a courier, as he said.

That makes a minimum of 3 factions on Snowpiercer- Melanie’s official Authoritarian State, The Tail, and the First Class Business Empire. There’s also the military and the 3rd Class, with its independent economy of artists and small businesses. Roche seems loyal to Melanie and Grey seems loyal to the Folgers. Grey also seems like he might be using the Folgers until he can seize control of the entire train in a military coup. Roche seems like his loyalty is real. For now, we should probably count the military as a fourth faction which can act independently, split in two or side with one of the other factions.

The same is ultimately true of 2nd and 3rd Class, since they are made up of individuals. Most of 3rd Class might side with the Tail, but they like to eat and have heat, too. Melanie provides that and there’s no evidence that the Tailies have thought through how they’d keep the lights on after their rebellion. They have to show they have engineers and ag workers on their side and can keep the train running, in good repair and continue to produce food, not just provide social equality, before people will fully support them for the long term. Otherwise, they may manage a rebellion, but the people may want a return to Melanie’s or Grey’s order soon after.

The Night Car is the final faction. It’s still a mysterious place, but if even 1st and 2nd Class use its services, it will make up for its small size with power and influence in the underground economy. The treatment and behavior of Miss Audrey seems to suggest that this is true. Audrey has made it clear from the start that she’s on the side of revolution, but she prefers to move slowly and carefully. She might not like having her hand forced by Andre.

Even without the Tailies’ rebellions, there is constant tension, which rises occasionally to Cold War status, between the other factions in the rest of the train. Sean, Nikki and Erik all fell victim to this. Andre knows much more about the front of the train than we were led to believe at first, but it’s not clear how well he understands these political nuances.

His goal is apparently to smash the entire power structure, rather than to actually work with any of the leaders he’s seemed to make alliances with in order to restructure the system so it’s more just. Out here on the planet’s surface, you can theoretically smash the system and still get food and water and other resources while your country is in complete disarray.

Snowpiercer, on the other hand, is a delicate system that may go into a death spiral if not carefully handled, or so we’ve been told. There are still a lot of secrets, like what those endless banks of servers are doing. Are they full of people who are waiting for the thaw and new, cloned bodies? Are they the real, resource sucking 1st Class who contribute nothing to Snowpiercer’s survival?

Or do those servers hold the sum total of all human knowledge, including the genome for every living thing which had its DNA sequenced before the Freeze? When Melanie calls Snowpiercer an ark, is that what she means? Does the train hold the possibility of cloning lost species?

Beyond the servers, maintaining the health of the living things, including the plants, animals and people, on the train under such harsh conditions, for such a long time, would be next to impossible. Anyone who’s ever gardened or kept tropical fish can tell you that living things don’t do well outside of their natural environment. It’s hard work to maintain an artificial environment even when you can order what you need from Amazon.

There’s a reason Jinju and Melanie are the two most stressed people on the train. I believe Andre’s heart is in the right place, but because he’s been sheltered in the Tail, I’m afraid he’s not taking all of the variables into account and will kill the experts he needs to keep the train alive. Revolutions often succeed, only to have their countries fall into years of chaos or fascism. Andre might underestimate the power held by the Folgers and Grey, who will work together to seize control. They do understand how the train works and they’ll simply enslave the people who are essential to its survival.

Misogyny, Oppression and Child Soldiers

In 2020, it’s not okay to use the “Lolita/Eve Made Me Do It” defense, especially when Lolita/Eve is being framed to benefit a man. Even in war. By using LJ as a pawn, Andre proves that he’s no better than Melanie. I suspected that they were essentially the same character and that his warmth was just another tool in his arsenal. This proves it.

Andre and Melanie have the same fatal flaw. They both want to save people as an abstract idea, but in practice, they are willing to sacrifice or betray any individual in service of their goal. The end justifies the means, whether the means is a child of the enemy or their own spouse.

Perhaps even their own child. The Folgers have crossed that line. It’s not clear yet whether Andre has gone beyond using the idea of Miles and used Miles himself. Like LJ, Miles has certainly volunteered to be used as a child soldier for Andre’s cause.

Winnie has already been used in the rebellion. Suzanne took responsibility for sending her tiny daughter into battle and took the punishment for her, which was the right thing to do. Winnie was blatantly used because of her size. It’s not clear how much she even understood of what she was doing and she’s too small to defend herself from enemy soldiers.

The Tailies are desperate and crossing lines, while Andre is bragging to Melanie that his people are better than that. They’re not. They’re as oppressed as people can possibly be and they work hard to make their lives better in a variety of ways. But they aren’t a utopia and they aren’t better people than the ones in the front of the train.

Everyone has lines that they won’t cross. I guess cannibalism isn’t that big of a deal to Andre, since he brags about it. The exploitation of children for sex and war is my line in the sand. Andre crossed that line and I can’t look at him the same way now.

The Folgers are much, much worse, since they aren’t fighting wars against deprivation and oppression. They are just sociopaths who sacrificed their own child for profit and their own convenience.

But I’m worried that Andre and the writers look at LJ and see a spoiled rich girl who’s never wanted for anything and dares to complain about her petty problems when put alongside the overwhelming problems of the Tail.

My issue is, why is it a competition?

The Tail’s problems are extreme, and should never be forgotten, but their existence doesn’t mean that LJ doesn’t also have a dead end life, monstrous parents and a serial killer, pedophile boyfriend who began sexually abusing her when she was too young to consent, with her cold-blooded parents’ permission. That’s a horrific existence. No one should have to live with their rapist and his gun in a train car. LJ was fighting her own war, and she finally won, only to be drafted into Andre’s war.

Miles had people who loved and educated him, even in the extreme deprivation of the Tail. LJ had psychopaths who used her, but she had enough to eat. She did not have a healthy childhood, anymore than Erik did.

Images Courtesy of TNT.

Snowpiercer S1E4: Without Their Maker Recap- Sean's murder is solved, Lolita gets blamed, Josie visits 3rd Class, Andre visits 1st Class, & Melanie pulls out her bottle of poisoned sake. The Revolution approaches. OneTail #Snowpiercer In Snowpiercer episode 4, Sean's murder is solved, Josie visits 3rd Class, Andre visits 1st Class and Melanie pulls out her bottle of poisoned sake.

[barinacraft]

100+ Halloween Jokes, Puns, Riddles & One Liners

Hysterical Halloween Humor & Hilarious Haunted Holiday Humdingers

There's over one hundred All Hallows' Eve jokes on this page ranging from whimsical word plays to scary squibs, clever clowning around to frightening farces, and everything eerie about Halloween in between. You might want to settle in with a spooky sip because this could take awhile.

If you're still begging for laughs after this large list of larks, links to even more holiday hijinks are provided at the bottom of this buffoonery. Buckle up and chuckle.

Bat Banter

Q: What is Dracula's favorite cocktail to drink at a baseball game? A: Bat Bite.

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite position in baseball? A: Bat boy!

Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash? A: Because they have bat breath.

Black Cat Comedy

Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A: A sourpuss.

Devil Droll

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm the Devil!" she responded. "Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

Q: What happens when Ambrose Bierce drinks the Devil's blood? A: He gives new meaning to Mephistopheles' mustache.*

Dracula Jokes

Dracula is the most famous of all the Vampires. Those mythical nocturnal beings that feed on blood, get burned by sunlight and usually must be killed by stabbing them with a stake to the heart. There's something funny going on there.

Q: What kind of boat pulls Dracula water skiing on Halloween night? A: A blood vessel.

Q: What is Dracula's favorite kind of dog? A: A blood hound.

Q: What is the tallest building in Transylvania? A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A: At the casketeria.

Q: What drink does Dracula order when vacationing at the beach? A: A Blood and Sand cocktail.

Q: What does Dracula like to drink when he brandies about the ship? A: Nelson's Blood.

Ghost And Goblin Gaiety

A Halloween ghost walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "What'll you have?" Ghost says, "I'm here for the BOOs. A disembodied spirit if you please."

Q: Why don't ghosts like to go out in the rain? A: Because it dampens their spirits.

Q: Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A: It raises their spirits.

Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? A: Any old friend he could dig up!

Q: What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear? A: Boo-ties!

Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty? A: Ice cold Ghoul-aid!

Q: Where do hard working ghosts go on vacation? A: The Eerie canal!

Q: What did the little ghost have in his rock collection? A: Tombstones.

Q: What did the mother ghost say to her baby ghost? A: "Don't spook until you're spooken to."

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert? A: I SCREAM!

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: A hoblin goblin.

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo.

Q: What games do ghosts like to play? A: Peek-a-Boo and Hide & Shriek.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A: He is mist.

Q: What happens when a ghost haunts a theater? A: The actors get stage fright.

Q: What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal? A: SCREAM of Wheat.

Q: What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee? A: A boo boo.

Q: What do ghouls eat for breakfast? A: Ghost toasties with evaporated milk.

Q: Where do ghosts go swimming? A: The dead sea.

Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl? A: Something that doesn't give a hoot if they scare somebody.

Horror Humor [sic]

Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist? A: He was repossessed, again!

Q: Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? A: He was buttering up his teacher.

Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? A: He's all right now.

Q: What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show? A: A celebrity roast.

Q: What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? A: Decomposing.

Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A: A cereal killer.

Did you hear about the cannibal boy that was 8 before he was 7?

Jack-o'-lantern Laughs

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? A: With an orange pumpkin patch.

Q: What’s the true ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? A: Lots of squash seeds to sear.

Q: What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A: A plumpkin.

Monster Quips

Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”

Q: Have you seen Quasimodo? A: I have a hunch he'll be back!

Q: What do you do with a green monster? A: Wait until it ripens.

Q: Why wasn't there any lettuce left after the monster party? A: Because everyone was a green goblin!

Q: What's a haunted chicken? A: A poultry-geist.

Q: How do monsters tell their future? A: They read their horrorscope.

Q: Why did the Cyclops have to close his school? A: He only had one pupil.

Q: What does a monsters' child call his parents? A: Mummy and Deady.

Q: What do you call a monster with no neck? A: The Lost Neck Monster.

Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch? A: Fish and ships.

Mummy Gags

Q: Why can’t mummies go on vacation? A: Because they’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!

Q: What do you call a little monster's parents? A: Mummy and deady.

Q: What did the mummy say to the detective? A: Let's wrap this case up.

Scarecrow Caws

Q: Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? A: He was outstanding in his field!

Skeleton Shenanigans

Q: Why aren’t there more famous skeletons? A: They’re a bunch of no bodies!

Q: When does a spooky skeleton laugh? A: When something tickles his funny bone!

Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie? A: You can’t fool me, I can see right through you!

Q: What do skeletons say before eating? A: Bone Appetit!

Q: What type of art do skeletons like? A: Skullptures!

Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his motorcycle? A: I’m bone to be wild!

Q: What did the skeleton say to the bartender? A: I'd like a beer and a mop!

Q: What do you give a skeleton for Valentine's Day? A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs.

Q: What instrument do skeletons play? A: Trom-BONE.

Q: What kind of key opens a casket? A: A skeleton key.

Q: Why don't skeletons like parties? A: Because they have no body to dance with.

Spider Antics

Q: What do you call two spiders that just got married? A: Newlywebbed.

Trick Or Treat Tomfoolery

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night? A: Tweets.  [ Tweet this Joke! ]

Q: How did the priest make holy water? A: He took some tap water and boiled the hell out of it.

Vampire Riddles

Three vampires walk into a creepy bar. Bartender asks, "What's your poison?" The first vampire says, "A mug of blood." The second vampire says, "I'll have what he's having." The third vampire says, "No, not me. I'll have a glass of plasma." Bartender says, "OK, two bloods and a blood lite."

Q: How do vampires invite each other out for lunch? A: Do you want to go for a bite?

Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank? A: He was caught drinking on the job!

Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold? A: By his loud coffin from deep down in his chest.

Q: What kind of fruits do vampires like? A: Adam's apples and juicy neckterines.

Q: What did one thirst vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!

Q: What is a vampire's favorite holiday? A: Fangsgiving.

Q: Why did vampires toast the Democrat in 2000? A: They wanted to Gore.

Q: How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball? A: He turns into a bat every night.

Q: How does a girl vampire flirt? A: She bats her eyes.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.

Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A: A stake sandwich.

Q: What does a vampire fear most? A: Tooth decay.

Q: Who do vampires buy their cookies from? A: Ghoul Scouts.

Q: What is a vampire's favorite sport? A: Casketball.

Q: Why did the Vampire subscribe to the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal? A: He heard they had great circulation.

Q: What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor? A: Veinilla.

Q: What do you give a vampire with a cough and a cold? A: Coffin drops.

Witch Wit

Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with a clown? A: A brew ha-ha.

Q: Why do witches need to wear name tags? A: So, they would know which witch is which!

Q: What did one old witch say to other when she asked for a ride? A: There’s always broom for one more!

Q: What did the scary witch do when her broomstick broke? A: She had to witch-hike!

Q: When do witches like to cook their victims? A: On Fry-Day!

Q: What do you call two witches living together? A: Broom-mates!

Q: What do you call a witch who lives in the desert? A: A sand witch.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A: Spelling class.

Q: How do you make a witch scratch? A: Just take away the 'W.'

Zombie One Liners

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: A: Hope it's Halloween.

Q: What do you call dead cows that come back to life? A: Zombeef.

Q: What do zombies like to eat at cook outs? A: Halloweenies.

More Halloween Jokes

What A Great Costume

How Much Are We Taking Off?

References

* - Ambrose Bierce authored The Cynic's Word Book in 1906 which was retitled The Devil's Dictionary in 1911.

[thornstocutyouwith]

The Plague of Acne continues to run through my game lol. LOOK AT XAVIER’S FACE. Also, Claerwen and Xavier thought that NOW was the best time to start posing.

Bailey DID get pregnant from Zitfaced Xavier, Skies. ehehhe. Simon is still unaware. >:D.

LOOK AT THAT, Skies, Atticus is teaching little baby Asher his ABC’s.

And here are all of the Delkari’s eating a meal mostly together, more or less? Sylar is singing, and he’s not half bad. CANNOT SAY THE SAME FOR KILLIAN however. Terrible singer. Ezra and Asher are having a nice little chat however.

And here we can observe the Delkari family eating their natural prey, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. The baby of the group, Asher, has been left alone and defenseless. As all sins at such a young age are prone to being left. It builds character.

Killian and Sylar just beat the shit out of one another and are now hugging. Though the point of the event IS to kick the shit out of one another, so ahah.

Atticus giving Narcissus and Killian the UNHOLY words. He’s being such a good big brother to the little shits. The Acne is spreading!

Here is Zeke and Killian playing with one another, Skies. I Thought it was SO cute seeing Zeke be SOFT and playful with his brother. ( Though that could be because he’s missing some of his personality traits. I’ll have to fix that. It just ain’t right man.)

Hellspawn sleeps. Adorable hellspawn. As you can see, his bed is pink. And no one is trying to kill him, they are WASTING their opportunities.

Hellspawn wakes! And he’s upset because EVERYONE LEFT him for School and Work and he’s all alone, look at how sad he is, Skies. JUST LOOK AT HIM. What did he do to be treated so harshly!?

So I had nothing to do and just ended up spending the day with him, like the godly being I am of the sims 4. And He just sat on this bench all day. Sniffling, and looking around curiously. Then I was like “ Don’t you have a toy? I know you have grilled cheese to eat. Do something.” And I checked his inventory and...

Okay, first off, Zeke gave Asher a drink, awww. He knew his baby brother was dehydrating. Secondly, Asher just put it in his inventory. Clearly the drink was poisoned, clearly. If not, it certainly the fuck is NOW. lol.

THE PLAGUE OF ZITS HAVE HIT THE SINS!. RUN!  RUN!

Also, this is Killian’s face after Syler kicked the shit out of him, He’s so upset. Poor baby.

Annnd THIS is a lady Cannibalizing a dude, right outside the Sins home. Wonderful.

These were the only two idiots who notices it. Lucius in some Kill Bill get up and Zeke, crying about it. #NotMyZeke.

[sending-the-message]

I'm Hiding In A Mall Bathroom With A Fire Axe by molotok_c_518

I come out occasionally for food, but otherwise, I have been hiding in there fr several weeks.

The mall has been empty. No customers, no employees... everyone is outside, somewhere else, and that is what is keeping me mostly safe.

...and it's all thanks to some dumbass redneck who stole an experimental technology, and doomed us all.

I'm not sure if it has spread out beyond the city. For all I know, the National Guard has us quarantined to keep the violence contained. All I know is, I am hiding to keep myself alive and sane.

Let's back up, though. It's important that the world understand that I didn't do this to destroy us all. I did this to save lives, which makes this all the more tragic.

About 15 years ago, my sister died. Cancer... more specifically, an inoperable brain. We watched as she wasted away, in agony, while doctors tried first to save her life, then save her self, then "make her comfortable." It was like living in a horror movie.

It killed my father; the stress ruined his health, and he died of a heart attack while eating a bagel in his car. My mother took up drinking to cope with the double tragedy, and to this day she spends every waking moment in an alcoholic stupor.

I decided that I would dedicate my life to making sure this stopped happening.

I wasn't very good at biology, but I got good, and combined it with my abilities as a programmer. I threw myself into studying nanotechnology, and puzzling out how I would program nanobots (robots built on a microscopic scale) for complex surgery. I gathered like-minded individuals, and basically infected them with my vision of a troop of 'bots carrying out the kinds of life-saving surgery that was generally deemed too invasive and destructive to perform.

We set up shop on the campus of our local campus of the state university. After painstakingly applying for grants and donations to fund this research (which was hard, as no one wanted to put "real" surgeons out of work), we managed to get the money and time to begin.

It took 10 years, and numerous dead ends (examples: metal didn't work, and tended to degrade and poison the patient; ceramic was too dense to work properly, or so my materials guys said) to finally strike on the perfect solution:

We took a microorganism, and programmed it at the DNA level (creating a compiler that translated my proprietary language to "the machine language of the cells" took months) to repair damaged and infected tissue. A host of them was injected into the bloodstream, and they sought out tumors, nerve damage, torn intestinal sections, etc. The host would swarm these anomalies, and repair them by "eating" the non-viable tissue, replicating more of itself from the protein contained in it, then stimulating the natural regenerative properties of the body to replace the damaged tissue. If anomalies cropped up again (like cancerous tissue), it would sense them, "eat" a bit deeper until the cancer was gone, and try again. Once it stopped sensing cancer, and the area had healed, it would wait a set period of time (usually 8 hours), then "die" and be flushed from the body.

Testing, failing, recoding the DNA in the "meatbots" (as we affectinately referred to them), testing again... years passed, and we finally got consistent successful trials in rats.

In fact, we got miraculous results from rats: We were literally raising them from the dead.

We discovered it by accident, when we were trying to find the optimal time to inject after subjects were poisoned. Several of our test rats had ingested ricin, as a way of finding if the meatbots would save them (it worked). The ones we injected last had died... but then they popped back to life.

It was scary, actually.

The moral ramifications were immediately obvious to us: a world without death would rapidly become overpopulated, and the means to restrict access (by pricing the treatments higher, by restricting production, etc.) would get decried as unethical, or even tyrannical.

We decided, as a group, never to mention this side effect to anyone outside the organization. We instructed everyone to stay quiet about it, and if it did leak, we would terminate the employee and deny everything.

Since we had successful tests, we chose to move on the primate trials. It required a massive recoding of the meatbot programming, as they were set for rodent physiology and anatomy, and regrowing our stock.

As a result, an error crept in: The "killswitch" that was built into the original 'bots got commented out. They didn't become inert and get flushed; instead, they replicated using the "ambient" protein in the blood, and invaded the rest of the body.

I caught the error after one of our monkeys (test subject P1-1) started eating itself to replenish the protein in its blood stream. The wounds bled meatbots. I deleted that recording after we all agreed that no one should watch the poor thing destroy itself.

As I was frantically restoring the killswitch to the rest of the meatbot stock and making sure there were no repeats, our security chief discovered an anomaly in the security logs.

We had a security guard who was stalking a scientist in another department of the science facilities on campus. Somehow, his key card was still left active, and was used to access the "Lazarus Room" where we kept the meatbots. They were sort of clever, in that they put some protein mix into the storage tank to try and cover the depleted 'bots... but didn't think that we kept track of that protein.

It took us several weeks to find the culprit: A Kentucky-born guard named Bobby called in sick for an entire week, and then just stopped calling.

Our chief got together several of his guys to check up on him. An hour later...

"Hey, Dr. {Smith}, this is Chief Red. We need you here. Now. Something went horribly wrong."

"'Something', Chief?" I asked. "Be specific."

"Not on an open line. And definitely not if you have eaten." With that, he hung up.

The address was 15 minutes away. I took the time to stop at Taco Bell and have a burrito, because there was no way it could be as bad as he said.

It wasn't.

It was much, much worse.

The house itself was a tiny two-bedroom bungalow on the outskirts of the city. It was a bit beaten up around the edges, but you could tell it was well-cared for in better times.

Inside, in the living room, were the guard and his wife. They had been zip-tied back-to-back, with their arms tightly tied to their sides.

Those arms were chewed to shreds. Our meatbots were oozing from the gashes, which were rapidly healing themselves.

The two were struggling to get out of their bonds, and were trying to bite into anyone getting near them. "Hungry," the wife moaned. "We're so hungry..."

There was a spoiled-meat smell permeating the air, the result of hundreds of empty containers and plastic wrappings from grpund beef, fast food, and raw beef, as well as shreds of meat and flesh that were strewn along the floors and stuck to the walls.

One of the guards was limping. Bobby had taken a chunk out of his calf when he wandered too close, and the resulting wound was being bandaged by his buddy.

I really regretted that burrito.

Just when I thought it had gotten as bad as it could possibly get, though... it got worse.

See, they had also tried to eat several local animals. Those that had escaped had picked up meatbots, and had spread them to other animals.

Some of those animals had attacked humans. Those humans had picked up meatbots.

Within a week of discovering Bobby and his wife, we had an entire section of town infected with meatbots, which drove them to try and eat as much meat as they could get to feed the replication.

Within a month, no one in town was left unaffected. People ran through the streets trying to eat each other, or any animal they could get their hands on. Wounds would close immediately as chunks were torn from flesh, or gunshot wounds were inflicted.

Headshots? Healed in hours.

The only thing I saw that stopped them from coming back was full immolation. The poor fucker I saw do this screamed and laughed at the same time as he burned away to ash... and it was a close thing, as he was healing almost as fast as he was burning away.

I tried to cure some of them. I injected Bobby and his wife with the new meatbots, with the killswitch reinstated. The old 'bots ate them.

I ended up burning them both away. It was better than Bobby deserved, in my opinion, and I felt horrible about his wife... but she looked at me and thanked me was I poured kerosene over them both and lit the match.

...and so here I hide. I've seen Dawn of the Dead, and I locked the doors to the mall like the protagonists of every version of the movie did. I hide in the bathrooms, where I can hear the slightest whisper of sound in the doorways and be ready to defend myself.

I have stepped out on the roof, and watched an orgy of self-cannibalism play out in a parking lot before a horde of the infected moved on.

Hunger has overtaken logic and compassion. All that drives human and animal alike is the need to eat, and to feed the dreadful miracles that keep them whole.

People have semi-jokingly feared the Zombie Apocalypse. This is much, much worse.