Tumgik
#i still look at myself sometimes and im like. yeah right. who would want o fuck someone with stubble on their thighs.
meow-moment · 8 months
Text
dysphoria kind of sucks sometimes. like sure i can sexualize it but i still dont really like towering over people and looking kind of scary and having 5 o clock shadow and a flat chest and a deep voice. its like i cant take myself seriously. like, ill think "oh you were given the genetics that would make you fantastic at being a cis man but instead youre trying to be a 'pretty girl,' yeah right." also in sexual scenarios i always kind of get railroaded into the role of top and i feel like thats a related fact. it sucks.
13 notes · View notes
pepprs · 1 year
Text
beaver gnawing on wood noises
#purrs#delete later#this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or#idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who#like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different.#and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the#knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know#there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find#magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o#one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me#the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all#these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live#with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it.#and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other.#and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so#hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they#are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who#im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all#appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a#symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will#never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want#love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3#like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling#and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and#bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.
13 notes · View notes
jalluzas-ferney · 8 months
Text
Soooo….I made some nationality headcannons! At first I was a liiittle bit unsure if to do so cuz then again.. they live in ninjago…. And im pretty sure countries like argentina or Morocco don’t quite exist in the ninjago universe LMAO. Butttttt. Already seen others make headcannons, so hell, why not? I uses they apply to some irl au or what if they lived in our world uk? And what different countries would I see them coming from and etc.
I can imagine that the EM might have travelled all over the world, either to go into hiding, or missions, or escape conflict, etc. Or maybe simply that’s where they came from! So yeah that’s my little explanation that is mostly for myself cuz im a little bit too literal sometimes lol.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
When thinking about nationality I always think a lot about where they grew up and what nationality they grew up with and would later on identify with the most. It’s a complicated concept when your parents are from a different nationality and theyre immigrants in a different country- so you grow up in this country, surrounded by this culture and people, but your. Also. Raised by your parents who also have your family living in this completely different country- where you also find home and relate to the people considering how you look, the language you speak with your parents- or the specific culture and environment your parents grew up wiooith, impacting your home life and the way your raised. Perhaps you lived in both places, or travel a lot to your parents homeland. Perhaps you live in one of your parents countries but the other. Not. but you still identify with one of your parents nationality because of the rest of your family from that side and the culture your take in from them. So it’s always very personal! So for Kai and Nya, I imagined that ray was Argentinian and Maya Filipino. And perhaps - because I want to project onto my faves- they were born and grew up in Argentina. But have always also identified a lot with their mothers homeland, since not only does their race impact the way they might feel more different and set apart from kids there, maya loves talking about her childhood in the Philippines and is always talking over the phone with their aunts and cousins, meaning Kai and Nya def were taught some Tagalog, tho theyre not incredibly fluid with it. In their early teens they probably travelled to the Philippines, (took ray and maya some time to settle down and get enough money to travel, as well as find time) and met their whole family, and the place they reside in, habit that would turn quite common as they would continue to travel other times the following years.
For Lloyd, I really wanted to make him Asian -Brazilian. It just felt right. So imagined that my queen (don’t you judge her >:() Misako would be Brazilian, meanwhile Garmadon,Japanese. i imagine that Misako adores traveling, so she met Garmadon on her trip to Japan, and decided to stay there for a WHILE because of the brothers. During her time there, she had Lloyd. Since her family heard of her new baby, she travelled back to Brazil with a two y/o Lloyd to have her family meet the him and catch up overall. but as the serpentine wars rose In japan (ill hc it happened in japan let me know what u think of that) Misako was told to wait in Brazil. Misako didn’t really like that though, and while she dreaded having to leave her son, she was sure shed come back soon after helping out the Brothers in the battle against the serpentine. So Lloyd was left to live with his aunties and grandparents in Brazil. Of course, after Misako found out about the whole Green Ninja thing and all that crap, she pulled the same stunt as in the series and ✨ vanished ✨. But then Garmadon came and fucking took him like divorced parents sometimes do uk? So then he spent some other of his childhood years growing up in, ya guessed it, Japan. This is how Lloyd identifies both with being a Brazilian and Japanese. As for the rest, I just envision that they lived in their respective countries their whole lives till they were recruited!
98 notes · View notes
valentine-writes · 1 year
Note
Spot nation is here humbly requesting again u-u One of your recent works breifly touched on The Spot getting protective over an upset reader. Would love to read your take on expanding that concept. :^] Make it as lighthearted or serious as you like! Maybe the reader has to tell him to chill out instead. Like, we love you queen but take it easy. No worries if this isn't smthn you want to do! Loving your writing in general! Take care :>
:(
Tumblr media
「 tws + notes: POSSIBLE FLASH WARNING FOR THE GIF BELOW THE CUT?? (jus to be safe!! idk if this is needed or not-), no tws, unedited, super silly moment from me im not in a slash srs mood 」
Tumblr media
「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」
↳ ft. johnathan ohnn/the spot
author's note: AUWWHJWAB HELLO!!! u are so so polite omg thank u so much ! ^_^ i luv tha enthusiasm i've been seein from spot nation tbh!!! o((>ω< ))o i'd be happy to expand on that hc! im gon make it a little teeny tiny bit more lighthearted becuz i luv myself some silly hcs but here we go!! super duper soz if itz a bit short anon </3
Tumblr media
▸ i think i like writing the spot as a silly lil dude who is jus tryin so so hard. but also he did work for Fucked Up Evil and Co. (alchemax is just brimming w/ all sorts of brilliant minds with horrifying ideas in the name of science. kingpin ran this shit and would not have it any other way) like he's not beyond being an absolute menace he just didn't have the means for it at the beginning of the movie. so we're gonna keep it lighthearted and silly but,,,
Tumblr media
we're gonna keep this in mind too, yeah?
▸ you're incredibly dear to him. he's become a little more protective than he usually would be (can't have you being taken away from him! not after literally everyone else in life life ditched–) and it's just the littlest bit unhealthy.
he really does mean well! you just find yourself reminding him to dial it down a bit.
▸ especially after he's gotten a hang of using his powers?... he's got the means to keep you from harm. he may still be insecure about his appearance, but those thoughts can be (temporarily) satiated when he knows what he can do.
the power at the multiverse, in the palm of his hand
i mean. you can't expect him to not want to defend you with it.
▸ you remind him, time and time again that he really doesn't need to check up on you that frequently. in spite of this, he can't help peeking into a portal, just to check on you here and there.
"i swear to you, i'll be fine." you tell him, time and time again- and he trusts you, he really does. but it doesn't hurt to be absolutely, positively, 100% certain, right?
▸ on the days you're upset because of a particularly bad day (not specifically conflict with people, just little things or internal issues, etc, etc... the Horrors,,,,) he offers the support he knows that he'd want.
if you're a person who's obvious with their emotions, he's pretty okay with picking up the cues you're not doing fine. will start up a conversation and then awkwardly ask if you're doing okay.
it's a little more tricky if you're subtle. overtime, he learns what to look for- little signs that indicate you're not doing well- and ensures that he's straightforward in asking about how you're feeling.
and sometimes, he able to sense that something is off. there's a tension in the air neither of you want to talk about, a feeling in his bones that he can't quite shake. he dislikes this the most. mainly because it's easy to attribute this feeling to overthinking. he'll check up on how you're feeling anyways. even if it takes a while to muster the courage.
without fail, he feels his heart break a bit when you look up at him with the saddest expression he's seen on your face. your frown is almost painful to see :(
he's got a very formulaic strategy in his mind that he uses to help you deal with bad days
something like this mefinks,,,
[ step a: he starts by asking what's going on with you... ask how you're feeling and all that. if your mood is negative, he'll try to ask why and if you wanna talk about it ]
if you choose to take up the offer, go to step b. if you refuse, go to step c.
[ step b: listen! provide support, be attentive. he'll let you rant, scream about it (ok maybe not too loud though, but,, y'know. if it helps, it helps), cry- anything. if you do cry, go to step d ]
[ step c: distract!! distract, distract, distract. you got a favourite comfort show or movie? he tells you: hey, you haven't watched it in a while (even if you have), why don't we put it on? your favorite video game? he'll play with you! talk about your favorite things or talk about nothing while you grab a snack or drink. he knows avoiding stuff isn't gonna work for long term problems, but he's more than willing to cheer you up ]
[ step d: SILENTPANICSILENTPANIC... internally he's just kinda freaking out because it's hard to see you cry. he's not awful with comfort- just a little stiff, y'know? much better with distractions. but in the event of you crying: he'll rub your back, wrap his arms around you. or give you space (depending on what you need) probably goes "hey, no, no no- it's okay, it's okay-" while attempting to soothe you. gives you time to cry it out while he babbles reassurances under his breath. ]
he really does try his best (´꒳`。)
▸ if you're beefing with someone and it's making you upset, he'll listen to you complain about them. out here nodding and agreeing with you like he was there to witness. again, he's got your back!!
(this part partially inspired by @//spdrslayr 's posts!!) in interest of cheering you up,,, you two make fun of the person.
if you're someone to openly bitch about someone and aren't afraid of getting a little mean behind someone's back,, he's making fun of them too.
of course, if you're like "noo,, but like,,, that's mean-" he's quick to remind you what they did. like they had the audacity, there's no need to be sorry.
if you're consumed by harrowing guilt anytime you're remotely rude (even behind someone's back) he'll tone the jokes down. just a little. he can be VERY a little out of pocket.
likes watching you try not to lose it, stifling laughter, as you share a moment over mutual hatred for said person
"hey– that wasn't.. that wasn't funny–" you're snicker, doing very little to hide the obvious smile on your face. he loves seeing your face brighten, the frown on it now replaced with a grin you just can't hold back
he's gonna crack jokes about them randomly too in your conversations. he's good at holding a grudge yeah,,, but at least in this case he's funny abt it. it's lowkey starting to sound like he was wronged instead of you.
▸ if someone hurts you? that's a whole other story. (hehe. whole- my bad.)
being inconsiderate, rude, and mean to you is one thing, but bringing physical harm to you?
he can't stand the idea that someone would want to harm you. it doesn't matter what happened in the events leading to it. he knows you didn't deserve it. he knows it. the minute he sees the tears stinging in your eyes,, the bruising on your body– the blood–
someone's going to have to answer for it.
(but im not talking abt him tryin to rock someone's shit becuz that would be 10x longer blehhhh :p)
157 notes · View notes
pastanest · 2 years
Text
A/N: you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @bakedcrispss - thanks so much!! ♡
a gif of Daryl looking down at us to set the mood ⤵️
Tumblr media
Daryl x Short!Reader
- let’s start with how you met
- so Daryl was out on a hunt when he heard some commotion, something was moving fast towards him and just as he realised which direction the sound was coming from, you quite literally ran into him
- and when you ran into him, you bounced back and fell right on your ass, while Daryl just scowled down at you
- so there you were, staring up at him
- and then you stood up, and there you were, still staring up at him
“Sum’ followin’ you?” Daryl asked, glancing off in the direction you’d ran from.
“Only dead ones, but my knife broke so I had to run to get them off my trail. Sorry about running into you.” The apology was awkward, but Daryl just nodded.
- he considered correcting you, sarcastically saying he should be the one apologising since he was apparently in your way and knocked you over, but he thought it was too soon for a dig at your height
- Daryl waited a few seconds to see if he could hear any walkers coming after you, and when he couldnt, he skulked off
- much to his surprise, you followed him, and he found that he could barely hear you creeping up behind him because of your lack of height and therefore heavy steps
“So, what’s your name?” You asked, definitely taking Daryl by surprise, but he hid it well.
“Daryl.” He answered shortly. haha y’all see what I did there
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Daryl! Im (Y/N). Do you have a group or a place to stay? ‘Cause if not, there’s logically a better chance of us surviving if we stick together.”
- he didnt want anyone following him, much less someone who didnt even see a man directly in front of them that they then ran into. he didnt even know if you could handle yourself. Daryl assumed that what you really meant was you were more likely to survive sticking with him because he’d save your ass
“Got a group an’ a place.” He said, hoping to throw you off, but he quickly realised his own mistake.
“Oh, that’s great! Do you, uh...maybe have room for one more?”
- have room? Daryl had to hold back a laugh, you could live comfortably in the average sized closet and you were asking if his group had room for you?? he, again, refrained from making such comments, and decided to stay professional
“How many walkers you killed?”
“Havent kept count, but some. I can usually sneak away from them, Im pretty good at getting into small hiding places.”
- Daryl looked down at you, struggling to tell whether you were insecure about your height and whether making jokes would be okay, or whether you would get insulted and sad and think your height a weakness
- in response, you rolled your eyes
“Daryl, do you really think I’ve gone my entire life blissfully unaware of being a short-ass? It’s not something I can change, so I work with what I’ve got, but sometimes I run into dudes and knock myself on my ass.”
- and much to Daryl’s absolute shock, that last part made him laugh
“That a regular hobby o’ yers?” He teased.
“Oh yeah, try to squeeze a collision in at least once a month.” You replied with a grin.
- and so your friendship was established
- when the two of you got back to the prison, you saw the people at the gate and in the guard tower and sighed because you knew from a distance they’d think Daryl had brought back a kid
- still, the small group that greeted you were welcoming enough. Maggie and Glenn were both very sweet, and as was Rick, but you’re certain you werent the only one to notice that his teenage son Carl was almost the same height as you
- you fit into the prison nicely, offering to help out wherever you could and getting to know as many people as possible. Daryl was fascinated by how easily you seemed to make friends, especially since you made friends with him in a matter of seconds
- Daryl was your favourite person to hang out with, you loved asking him questions and finding out things about him. he was far from the most open person when it came to talking about himself, but when you’d stroll over and sit on his bike, kicking your legs in the air because you couldnt reach the ground and giving him that damn smile, Daryl found it increasingly difficult to resist giving you anything and everything you wanted
- he definitely had a soft spot for you, and at first he hated that
- you’d wave at him when he was up in the guard tower and before he could even consider his own response, he would be waving back at you with a stupid smile on his face like some friendly dumbass
- one time Rick was coming up behind you and caught sight of the way Daryl waved at you, so Rick waved up at him to tease him and Daryl flipped him off
- once you’d earned the group’s trust, it was difficult for them not to notice how useful your lack of height could be in certain situations
- whenever one of the kids got a toy stuck in an inconveniently tight space, you would be the adult they summoned
- but equally, when the group found a decently large herd of walkers that they wanted to lead away from the prison, they looked to you as the first person to run by them and get to the other side of the herd, because you were the least likely to be spotted
“Naw, ‘s not happenin’.” Daryl shook his head, and Rick sighed.
“It’s the smartest play, you know it is.”
You nodded. “Yeah, and I’ve got no problem with it. At the start if this thing, all I did was run and hide, it’s what Im good at.”
- Daryl scoffed and stormed off, not even slightly onboard with you being the one in the most dangerous position of that whole thing. he knew it was the best option, but he would rather anybody else took that job and you stayed home. Daryl couldnt understand why he was so angry at the thought of you being in danger, but worst of all...when had he started referring to the prison as ‘home’?
- obviously, you ran after the big bad angry crossbowman, and soon enough you were walking at his side
“Why have you always gotta walk so fast?! Takes a lot for these little legs to keep up, y’know!”
- a small smile curled at the corner of Daryl’s mouth, and you nudged him playfully
“That’s better. Now, you wanna tell me what that was all about?”
- Daryl shrugged, having never been one to put his feelings into words without Merle calling him a pussy before he’d even opened his mouth, but you wouldnt do that to him, Daryl knew that, so he tried
“Jus’ don’...don’ want you t’ be in danger.” He managed, and your eyes softened as they stared up at him.
“Daryl, you’ll be on the other side of the street-“
He cut you off by shaking his head. “Ain’ enough. Sum’ could still happen.”
You rolled your eyes. “I can handle myself.”
Daryl was quiet for a moment, choosing his next words carefully, and he decided to test the water.
“Ain’ much t’ handle.”
- you were silent, and Daryl immediately regretted what he’d said. you stopped walking, and he turned to look at you, trying to piece together your reaction from how wide your eyes were
“Was that...a short joke?”
- Daryl could only nod, very quickly realising that this was neither the time nor the place to make a joke, the mood was completely off and he couldnt explain why he decided to do it if he tried
- but then, you burst out laughing
- once you’d calmed down, you explained to Daryl that you heard every short joke in existence throughout school, but once you became an adult the jokes died out, in the workplace it wasnt professional or whatever. but you missed the jokes even then, and when the world changed, there were even less of them. it had been years since anyone had made an actual joke about your height
- so, Daryl made it his mission to make playful jokes about it whenever he could after that
“Anyone seen (Y/N)?” He’d ask when you were standing right in front of him, he’d look over your head and pretend to look around for you until he couldnt resist glancing down at you and laughing.
“Rain’s eased up, gonna go out on a hunt, it’s hot out there now. But how’s the weather down there?” Of course, Daryl Dixon found a way to incorporate the classics.
“Best stay behin’ me, cant promise I wont think yer a mouse out there an’ shoot ya by mistake.” He teased whenever you walked next to him on a hunt.
“Daryl, I swear, I will spin your jaw if you dont shut up.” You’d say, and Daryl would smirk.
“If ya can reach.”
And you’d sigh. “Fine, I’ll just bite your ankles.”
“Sure ya can reach those?” Daryl would answer effortlessly, knowing he could continue forever.
“Daryl I SWEAR-“ You’d yell, and he’d burst out laughing.
- anytime anyone around you used the words “little”, “small”, “shorter”, Daryl found a way to spin it on you
“We should take this road, it’d be shorter-“ Rick began, and then he closed his eyes in a pained blink, waiting for what he knew was coming.
Daryl smirked, diverting his gaze from the map on the hood of the car and glancing down at you beside him.
“Shorter, huh. Remin’s me o’ someone.”
- anytime anyone asked anyone “what’s up” you could guarantee that from somewhere else in the prison, you would hear Daryl Dixon yell out “NOT (Y/N)!”
- secretly he found your lack of height to be very endearing, the way you looked up at him was adorable, the ease with which you could jump on his back at anytime for a piggyback ride without fatally wounding him, the fact that the cliché short-problem of having to ask someone else to reach stuff for you and Daryl usually being the closest person for you to ask. he loved it, and he made sure to remind you with a series of cute height-related petnames
“‘ey, mouse, c’mon, aint got all day.”
“Been lookin’ all over for you, li’l one, where ya been?”
“Listen, small person, ya better ease up on that tone with me.”
- later on when your relationship progressed, Daryl introduced the petname of “doll” cuz thinks you’re small and cute like a doll, but he only uses that petname in softer moments between you, like if you’re upset or he’s tired
- and he didnt see your height as a weakness either. once you’d joined him for a few hunts, Daryl could see that you really could handle yourself, you were a strong fighter, he had no doubts there. but he couldnt help worrying that you were just a little more fragile because of how small you were, it was a natural worry to have, all things considered, and you loved his protectiveness of you, so you definitely werent complaining
- the only problem with Daryl’s protectiveness was that it extended to him wanting to beat the shit out of anyone else who joked about your height
- Rick, Maggie, Beth, Hershel, Glenn, Carol, Michonne- the entire core group as well as Tyereese because he’s a fkin unit, they were all allowed to make fun of your height, but anyone else who tried had a death wish
- sometimes new arrivals would be stupid enough to voice their opinions on you being inferior and incapable because of your height when Daryl was nearby. they’d joke about wondering how you made it this far, assuming you’d been living safely since the start otherwise you wouldnt have made it, assuming everyone around you needed to protect you because you were a liability
- and Daryl would be there in an instant
“The hell’d you just say?!” He’d growl from your side.
“Anyone built like that cant even reach the top shelf, let alone survive in a world like this! It’s survival of the fittest, plain and simple!” The idiot would be stupid enough to say, laughing through his own explanation.
And then Daryl would knock him to the ground a lot less playfully than he knocked you to the ground on the day you met, he’d be on top of the idiot and punching him until someone (usually Rick) pulled him off.
You’d be there right away, standing on your tiptoes to hold Daryl’s face in your hands and calm him down. He’d rest his forehead against yours and ask if you were alright, if the idiot had hurt your feelings ‘cause “if he did I’ll go right back over there an-“ and you’d say no. You’d take him back to your cell and clean up his split knuckles while Daryl just watched you, utterly mesmerised.
And then you’d sit on his lap, his arms wrapping around you without him having to think about it.
“What would I do without you?” The question would pass your lips quietly, as though truly bewildered by wondering what life would be like without Daryl in it.
“Hear a lot less jokes.” He’d reply, his voice rumbling in his chest, you’d feel it through his shirt, against your palm.
You’d laugh, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “And be a lot leas happy.”
502 notes · View notes
humanmorph · 1 year
Text
PALISADE 28.crazy good this week etc
New radio person for the intro...! This comes at a good moment. I still miss Baldwin Home like. That very first PALISADE intro is genuinely so hard to beat... but this feels good. I'm once again thinking about Austin writing these... The style used for Black Screens intros obviously shines through (she's his protégé) but she does have her own voice already (way more rhyming? I mean, I'd have to doublecheck HIS intros, it's literally just a feeling). Just the tone used and intonation already does a lot. Austin is so good at this fr. I'm still curious how he even approaches that. Also the "watch me unloose 80 Ls on these next lines" I knewwww that's 80 Ls for real as soon as Parti said illogical. I wonder if he wrote that bit first trying to see how many Ls he could fit in there & then finetuned it to get to a good number? I guess that's just how I would do it.
Tumblr media
(who knows if we'll ever get a description for Parti. we never did for Black. maybe if she shows up in a conflict turn somehow? so im just fuckin around for now... i haven't sold myself on the clothes. i'm just not a fashion guy. but i do like the braids)
Oh & new guy alert part 2!!! New Keith character! And he has a funny hat. Not even funny as in goofy it just makes me laugh a bit because my dad and maybe every 5th 70+ y/o man I see has a hat like that. Love the sequin poncho.
(btw I am almost certain Keith has posted a picture of that teapot on Cohost before... He posts about tea sometimes so there's at least a chance. I mean the description of the coloring he gives is actually pretty good IMO, you can work with that, but I as an artist I like to have a visual reference. EDIT: someone just asked him. thank you keith and also rosecrest)
I have the. I got Armor Astir & a lot of the playbooks other people made in a bundle a while back and I'm real torn if I should just look at the Investigator because I'm really curious. But. I also love to be surprised. So I probably won't, but it's good to know I COULD, if I wanted to. Anyways, I was pretty sure it'd be another B-Plot character too, just because it makes sense. Brnine COULD go alone on a B-Plot, I guess, but it's more fun with 2 groups to jump between, surely. Though this means the Eclectic-Brnine dynamic is crucial! I hope they can meet up soon... But yeah I just really am gonna miss Phrygian backing them up and cheering and clapping and asking questions. They were so fun together... A great team :' (
ok so I wrote everything else about Eclectic down yesterday & then noted down "vibes?" as break between paragraphs because all I had at that point was the description & I wanted to get back to this. And ooohhh my god the vibes are fucking immaculate right off the bat I'm having a hard time to not Already be obsessed with this guy he's SO funny conceptually and it KEPT getting better... Truly delighted with this new type of guy (& Keith is doing a voice!). And I fucking love the hooks. Truly so great to me. The thought of these getting loosened OR deepened is already really really good. "Leap says"..... oh it's SO funny I keep laughing to myself
Tumblr media
And I'm VERY excited it's a delegate like genuinely so happy. I was mourning the loss of a branched onscreen (okay.I still am) but this does make it worth it. Ever since they got introduced basically I so badly wanted to know anything more about them, but especially what Austin mentioned in the episode itself: the delegates relationships to the divines they are made from & of course the divines themselves (who are alive!!! Apparently that was already written in a dossier way back when, but I rarely read those). That has me sooo excited.
Oh and the like... I only thought about this just now but the connection there to Thisbe's new project is. That's gotta be something! "The divine who's being held captive somewhere on this planet, and has been tortured for millennia" hearing a message of... That this can end & rest is possible and it's SO CLOSE? But does that just make it worse... Ohhhhh. Yeah this rules. What a great idea.
That project generally is really... god, I love Thisbe so much. I love how Janine talks about her and what she thinks and why she does what she does. Thisbe's relationship to work and being a tool and of use is so interesting to put here, with the divines wanting to rest. (And Janine saying something like... Thisbe thinks of herself in relation to divines how Mow is to her? Kind of?) And saying it seems so solitary a project... every divine should know about it. Every divine deserves the right to rest. But it's also a call to action of sorts when she talks about like... "shouldn't you want to protect this?" I think her "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over." hook could be in conservation here too... Also I'm just looking forward for Thisbe to Broadcast again. It was like, one of her things in PARTIZAN. I really liked her & Cori working on this together with the. Experience they just had behind them. Sylvi & Janine reading the hooks for each others characters kind of sheepishly was soooo funny "I forgot how bitchy this was!". That's good stuff to me. (as an aside: god, Thisbe has always had good as hell hooks/beliefs/whatever else. Remember "Operant Broun lies to me because they believe I am a person."? Banger. ) I also love that she thought of this/about this at the rib(?) of Barricade. Barricade as an axiom who had this close (& good, protective) relationship with another axiom...
btw now that Leap is NOT coming back I do miss him a bit. Mostly out of principle like I am So happy we have Eclectic but Leap is my guy.... shoutout to him... being a bitch bastard pirate out there in space... + shoutout to Figure A too always : ) (speaking of, on the Gathering Information Extra bit from today he talked about if he had played Leap, picking a class that also had like, a crew, and I'm mostly just really curious who that would've been. I would love for Keith to make up some funny guys for Leap to order around. I wonder if Eclectic or an Eclectic type would've been on that?)
(Also Leap investigating Motion. Ok. To ME it's at least partly bc this was so important to Millie. And he has reason to be concerned generally he fought Motion too but. That's MILLIE'S rival! And it doesn't even have to be at the front of his mind when he does this. Maybe it isn't. But it's real & it's something to remember her by through actual action. Because he's not the sentimental type.Do you get me.?)
Brnine talk show. This was sooo good. After they joked about it in PAL25 too. I recognized the hosts name, but wasn't quite sure from where until I read the dossier - of course he's that guy from the podcast. God. I have got to relisten to that sometime... I remember Ali on one of the recent Gathering Information ep (the one w/ Austin on, I think) mentioning a conversation that was like. stressful to do. and then also to listen to? (since she has to for production/editing) and I figured it would be another Gucci-type talk but ooohh my god. This was sooo. EDIT: ACTUALLY what if it wasn't even. What if it's about to be this talk with Rye edit: GALLICA i cant believe noone called me on this. mixing my elects up. rye is the one gur killed (mvp). Austin was sounding a bit ominous about it at the end of this episode! HUGE shoutouts to Ali again she is just absolutely killing it this season for real... And I honestly feel like overall Brnine was, considering the situation, doing very well. Genuinely. You're feverish and hollowblooded and have this fucking. Guy needling you & asking the stupidest questions... & like. "You made Kalmeria. They'd never let you rot in jail." of courseeee they want Brnine working for them. They're so GOOD at what they do. They messed with the parts of A Fucking Divine. . I just had a scary thought and it involved Mustard Red. But. Surely not. Nooo. I'm shaking my head. However Arbitrage? An Arbitrage deal (like they tried to make them take before) would work just perfectly for this, wouldn't it...
Tumblr media
some other stuff:
When Austin mentioned Grand Mag in that vision Cori had I thought something like 'man. sucks to be him : (' but like. In a genuine way. "I can't stop it from hurting people a little"........... Hah oh wow I just thought of this but I am so excited for people who haven't listened to TM to meet him now. He's not even my favourite he just makes me crazy in a way almost no other character does? Like there's something so WRONG with him. And there's things wrong with a lot of FatT characters but it's like... Well. Grand Magnificent.
I love the thought of them watching Brnines interview at the next movie night (POOR BRNINE.) but I also want to know what Eclectic would pick for movie night. Oh and Partial too. Though he may not be staying I would still really love to know. Partial coming on board for the mission has me intrigued generally.
Oh and Gur talking! Even if just a little. I still feel so bad for them. "I believe in whispers in ears"... and they have reason to now. Figure is a person trying their best to do good & make changes, which is what Gur wants. I just wish they weren't a specter haunting someone elses body & what even happens when Figure rolls a 10+. Is Gur still there and Figure just stops seeing him? oohh it hurts a bit.you can't do this to him you can't (related: I extremely forgot about the other specters and ghosts and ghouls and whatnot that Figure can also see. It's not just my friend Gur Sevraq. Looking forward to hear more about that & how it affects Figure so much as to roll with disadvantage!)
Love to learn just a little more about devotion. I really need to just relisten to that again & think about it a bit harder.
At one point Austin says "Still flanked by guards, you are" and it caught me off guard & made me wheeze. He didn't even do that on purpose . I get him I do this way too often(realize I forgot to say part of a sentence and pack it at the end)
20 notes · View notes
w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz · 5 months
Text
as many ttpd thoughts as i can coherently write down
first of all grateful for the folklore x midnights x 1989/rep sound we have going on here. i hate comparing artists but seriously the best way i can explain it is phoebe bridgers this album sounds like phoebe bridgers. not like it's a bad thing it's phoebe fucking bridgers!!!
i feel like it's so easy to call music "intimate," whether because of lyrics that feel personal or just a certain raw sound, or whatever else, but this album truly is the most intimate thing i think taylor's ever given us. i don't know what sets it apart, cuz at this point she's written plenty of deeply personal lyrics, but the way i best know how to describe it is that it truly feels like she trusts us.
anyway i'm willing to admit that this album isn't a spectacle or a revolution or game changer, and i know it won't satisfy everyone (ngl i'm scared to see what everyone else is saying bc they'll never understand Like I Do) but damn it sometimes that much is more than enough. without further adieu
fortnight a solid vibe. i'd literally love any song with the lyric "i love you it's ruining my life"
ttpd love that lucy and jack cameo that's about it. but really who else is gonna hold you
mbobhft AUGGGHHH THAT HOOK. you'd think you'd be able to tell which tracks are entirely self-written but you'd never guess some of the best tracks would you? jokes on me. love the metaphor (as i tend to do), big fan of infantilizing men (no like actually)
down bad this song was not clicking at first but it won me over with the alien abduction theme
so long london aw fuck yeah i knew i was right to claim this one. that hook is delectable. every verse is like a juicy kiss on the mouth i love this song yOU SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WERE THE CLU
but daddy i love him this was the point where i thought to myself "wow this album is a lot more romantic than i would've thought" which, in hindsight, idk if that can be the consensus but still--this is such a feel good happy lovely time
fresh out the slammer evermore would love this one. yee haw
florida i mean there was really no way for this song to be bad and damn. twas not. this is a screamer fs. how on earth they managed to make a song about fucking florida feel like this mysterious shady world that we the people are not apart of is astounding to me
guilty as sin yas girl let your freak flag fly!!! successor to false god fr
who's afraid of little old me oh. o,h my god. taylor. taylor r u good honey. this song is fucking batshit wild oh my god YES GIRL TELL EM i will never be the same i could end the california drought with these tear ducks holy shit im gonna go set something on fire
i can fix him i love this bc this is literally my best friend and now they're gonna know how they look. that "woah maybe i can't" both absolutely slaps and is hilarious. also love how horny that bridge was yas girl let your freak flag fly!!
loml oh god. lmao my ass rlly thought this album wasn't gonna be too depressing. they had me in the first half ngl. i'm not crying you're crying nahhh we're both crying and you know it. the lyrics here really popped off, like more than the rest of the album and that's saying something. bonus i remember seeing someone theorize that it was actually gonna be "loss of my life" instead of love, and while i was listening i had that in the back of my mind, but then i was like "ok no it's actually love" but then THEY WERE RIGHT and i felt so accomplished for no good reason. so if ur that person who called it, good job brother
i can do it with a broken heart this one shocks me so good oml why is this making me wanna throw it back. with all do respect if you didn't want us to enjoy your suffering why did you make your suffering such a bop. /j that "i'm miserable and nobody knows!! :D" gives me chills but like in a good way. "try and come for my job" literally get it queen i love you
smallest man who ever lived it's quite funny to me that literally nobody was claiming this track and then it permanently altered my brain chemistry. back at it with the hooks damn. wow this one really. this one is really sticking with me guys
the alchemy yay the vibes are back!!!! sweet simple romance you gotta love it
clara bow you had me at that intro. shove that guitar down my throat if u will. this is the better version of the lucky one (im not sorry.) damn "you look like Taylor Swift in this light" gets me every time i'm sorry that will never not hit
the black dog OLD HABITS DIE SCREAAAAAMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i did not expect to like this one as much as i do but i can't stop thinking about it
imgonnagetyouback i had really mixed feelings but i literally can't dislike this song it's straight up good (also this song is so gorgeous-coded its wild)
the albatross idk i just love this one it is so sweet to me. in the way molasses is sweet but still
chloe or sam or sophia or marcus this melody has wriggled its way into the few folds of my brain and i don't see it leaving soon. i love me some good whimsy. fr as i'm listening to it again rn i'm realizing how good this production is. anyways bi rights
how did it end? you know................... i was really trying to not tie her real life into any of these songs, since i really don't know that much lore + i'm not a big fan of obsessing over celebrities personal lives--relationships most of all (especially when it comes to taylor)--in general, but damn i immediately did just that with this song and.. wow. but aside from all of that oh my god welcome back to Songs On This Album That Absolutely Haunt Me
so high school this one's kinda crazy bc damn it's such a taylor swift song but the sound is so new to her and it kind of makes me cry. but anyhow "touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" is the funniest fucking line i have ever heard in my life
i hate it here oh wow hahhahahhahahahha taylor what the fuck :3 imagine relating to this song on an cosmic level lmfaooooo
thank you aimee removing from irl context, putting this song next to mean genuinely makes me want to cry. like the maturity and growth both happy and sad is so evident it's like watching my child graduate
i look in people's windows another stellar string hook thank you and goodbye. ok but fr the visual here is inherently funny
the prophecy claiming this one for the neurodivergents
cassandra yeah yeah drama i know but damnnnn greek mythology BANGER
peter *taking notes* never... trust.. a man.. named..... peter.........
the bolter she's a runner she's a track star (can you tell i've run out of things to say it's just a good fucking album)
robin ohohoho i am an absolute SLUT for a good ode to childhood
the manuscript now that's a story
and at last--my current rankings:
who's afraid of little old me?
so long, london
how did it end?
chloe or sam or sophia or marcus
the smallest man who ever lived
florida!!!
clara bow
the alchemy
loml
i can do it with a broken heart
the albatross
my boy only breaks his favorite toys
i look in people's windows
cassandra
fortnight
i hate it here
the black dog
but daddy i love him
thanK you aIMee
the bolter
guilty as sin?
robin
i can fix him (no really i can)
the prophecy
peter
the manuscript
so high school
fresh out the slammer
the tortured poets department
imgonnagetyouback
down bad
now i know being critical is not one of my specialties but seriously it's a solid album ok. midnights is literally my baby and it has a skip for me so
now naturally my enthusiasm for each song will potentially decrease and most certainly increase over time cuz that's how i process albums buttttttt yuh 👍
almost any other artist building an entire persona about being an emo poet would make me roll my eyes but damn it she's so right
6 notes · View notes
mercifullymad · 1 year
Note
yeah i have ocd too and ive been reading your posts + the ask you answered and man i really really feel it. i was in erp for about two years steady, and i was genuinely able to overcome a few of my less severe obsessions that way, to a large amount of relief. but for my most severe thing, a (very visible, facially) brfb obsession/compulsion that has caused me so much strife and social anxiety for years, i got next to nowhere. even when i would manage to go a handful of days without doing it, i would inevitably lapse - and then feel like absolute shit about it, because i felt like i wasn’t strong enough to win this battle i’d been told i’m fighting. since i have some overlapping perfectionism issues, this cycle was just brutal for my self esteem. then my regular erp therapist retired, and ive been meaning to get back into it but the thought just.. exhausts me. but then i also keep brfb-ing myself and still need help with that. but then erp wasn’t really working on it anyway… it’s really left me feeling like i don’t know what to do. so on the one hand i fully agree with what youre saying about how erp is not necessarily the answer to every o/c and that reassurance is not the Worst Imaginable Thing to offer a person with ocd, but unlike some other compulsions that im sure could be lived with, the thought of going through my whole life doing what i do is… hard lol. socially, mentally, physically hard. anyway i dont mean to just vent at you.. i guess my point is that yeah its just so so so frustrating that erp and fighter mentality is treated as kind of the be all end all solution for ocd right now.
like not to sound like a baby but. im not looking for a fight, im looking for help!! and yeah “only i can save me” or whatever but it feels like ocd is kind of underrepresented in the world of mental illnesses that are/can be utterly debilitating. because its nuts that there is kind of no other treatment suggestion for who are really suffering and simply arent - for whatever reason, temporarily or otherwise - the vigilant mentally tough fighters erp recovery models want us to be. and i dont even mean that in a defeatist or deprecating way, i mean like.. sometimes your ocd makes you depressed! and then, what with the depression and all, you just don’t have it in you for what erp demands. im not a psychologist or anything but man there’s gotta be a better a way
I really relate to and empathize with what you’re saying. I also struggle with a BFRB where I pick at my face and other very visible spots on my body, which increases my already-substantial social anxiety. It is an absolutely brutal cycle for self-esteem, including how you feel “defeated” by not being “strong enough” to be a “OCD fighter.” This is another reason why I don’t like the fight(er) framing around OCD; it makes those who don’t respond to ERP in the prescribed way feel like they have failed, rather than there being a morally-neutral mismatch between the treatment and the individual. 
I do want to ensure we don’t fall into the misconception that critiquing ERP or other “gold standard” treatments for OCD means that the only other option is to learn to live with OCD without attempting to alleviate our suffering or cut back on our compulsive rituals. I have tried, as I’m sure you have, a great many things to try and stop myself from picking (badly) at my face: countless fidget toys, thick press-on nails, NAC pills, pimple patches and hydrocolloid band-aids, reducing my anxiety levels, avoiding mirrors, etc. I doubt I will ever completely eliminate my urge to pick, but I can pick and choose (ha) from what treatments, therapies, and means of harm reduction I find most effective in combination with each other. I can try lots of different things and see what works for me and what doesn’t. And this approach — going in with the assumption that many things won’t work for me, and some will, and neither of those results is a moral reflection of how hard I’m “fighting OCD” — allows me to have a more compassionate and forgiving relationship to myself and my picking. 
You really nail my own feelings when you say “I’m not looking for a fight, I’m looking for help.” This framing of requiring mad/mentally ill people to be “fighters” in order to receive help/treatment is extremely counterintuitive for those of us too depressed to muster up the energy to “fight.” One of the reasons I stopped structured ERP was because I was too depressed to get out of bed, let alone go out into the world and do daily exposures. Like most of the mental health treatment industry, this treatment is not structured for people seriously struggling in more than one area, despite the fact that most people do. 
I agree that there has to be a better way to treat/heal from/live with OCD than the limited options we’re given now, and I believe that creating these “better ways” starts with conversations like this one: talking, sharing, and brainstorming with other mad people and forging new ways of relating to each other and ourselves. I sincerely hope that you’re able to hold compassion for yourself, regardless of whether you “lapse” in picking, and that you’re able to access means of treatment that work best for you as an individual. This is an extremely difficult thing to live with, but thankfully, we don’t have to live with it alone — there is a community ready to commiserate and create with you, regardless of how “successful” you are at “fighting” OCD.
7 notes · View notes
seraxfemme · 1 year
Text
storytime! :o
i don't usually share this kind of stuff but this was a first for me soo..
ok so i was w a friend at a bookstore at the mall looking for some new reading material and maybe an oracle deck. So as we walked in i caught a glimpse of a guy at checkout and overheard him say something like "oh the bible is a different story". i thought he was just one of those Unsolicited Public Sermon types so i moved on. We're at the spiritual section now and i was really quietly taking my time. Suddenly the guy i had seen at the front just kinda spawned next to us and was saying he needed to tell us his message cuz if not his soul would be in danger too. He goes on about how he used to mess w tarot and that its really evil and that it led to the death of his brother (?!) He seemed kinda wonky ngl but that's normal where i am so as long as these ppl don't try to follow u out the store, u had a good day. Towards the end of his speech he urged us not to play around w this stuff. TBH i feel like this was the impression bc my friend (who doesn't practice) was just excitedly rummaging through the decks like christmas morning and being very loud about it bc she's very supportive of me, but this does tend to attract attention. ANYWAY. as the guy leaves, he said 'well god bless u' and i said 'yeah u too'. i pretty much just moved on, got a deck and we kept going. Then my friend was saying she didn't like his vibes and that was annoying and i was like 'yeah maybe it was a sign for me to just not spend money rn lol'. Then i started feeling anxious and kept thinking about the guy and how his presence felt heavy and invasive even tho he kept a respectful distance and never tried to make physical contact/his voice wasn't aggressive either. then i thought about going to checkout and realized I never actually checked the price of the deck, so i checked and it was over my budget so i put it back. i only got the book and we left. When we got back to her place i started feeling nauseous and her room was hot but thats usually not that much of a problem for me. But i felt like i was swimming in hot water, i had a never ending migraine, felt weak... .,my friend suggested i cleanse myself w an egg. So i did. As soon as i finished the first Lord's prayer it felt like a layer of my skin was shedding. or like something was shedding/sliding off my body, especially my arms and i got chills and this really overwhelming emotional sensation. I did this until it felt right to stop. Finally, i got dressed and discarded the egg and went back into the room. i was still really shaken up and still felt like i wanted to cry but i never did cuz there was no real reason to. I told my friend about what i felt and we concluded that maybe that guy had had some kind of effect on me bc i was the one making eye contact and i responded when he left. BTW i only responded bc i know sometimes ppl say something that seems innocuous but its their way of cursing you, and depending on who his God is, im not sure who would be "blessing" me so i just returned it to him. because he went off about how tarot is evil but he never gave me an alternative, about coming to Christ or anything like most Christians. So i thought that was interesting paired w what i heard him say when i walked in. So i finally calmed down. aannd then my friend starts feeling the same things i did. So i cleansed her too. And then she threw up. It was really quick and painless but it was like thick, black sludge instead of what's considered "normal" vomit. I discarded that egg and then we went grocery shopping. I was full of energy but now she was the one feeling weak. We were fine by the next day, but that was the most intense thing i've ever felt- spiritually speaking. It sucks that it got to her too but i'm glad i was there to fix it sooo.. yeah idk be careful ya'll cleanse regularly and when the vibes are off return to sender!
0 notes
slashersangel · 2 years
Note
EVE BABES ♡♡♡ i will never ever rush u cuz ur purrfect ♡
Whenever ur free amd ready, wanna do a part 2 on lost boys (+ micheal) with an s/o who has superpowers :D
okayokay! so im writing rn to try and get myself back in the mood to write cause I just have no motivation, so sorry if this is kinda shitty :\
Poly!Lost boys + mikey with an s/o with superpowers!
Tumblr media
• so you’ve gotten much better at controlling your powers, so much to the point where the boys dont need those stick thingys to light the barrels of the cave, they have you 🥰
• paul definitely asks you to lighting someone three times a day, David always follows up with “what if she struck you?” with that look and head tilt he does, which shuts Paul up.
• they’re all super proud of you tho, figuring out how to use your powers (with their help of course, even if Dwayne was really the only helpful one) and they definitely use it to their advantage. David asks you to light his cigarette when he can’t find a lighter (even tho they all carry one respectively, he just want you to do it for him). He smirks at you as he takes a hit, hand coming to hold the side of your face. You smile and kiss his cheek, whispering a ‘your welcome’ in his ear before doing whatever you were doing before he asked
• michael definitely uses it selfishly, oh he has a test he didn’t study for because he was out with you and/or the boys? Y/N, can’t you just flood the school this one time? C’mon if he doesn’t pass this test then he’ll fail the class! Or at least make sure the teacher has a small accident! It doesn’t matter if your in school or not, he’ll ask you to do it, just for him, and he’ll promise he’ll study that very night! As long as your there to help him ;)
• marko asks you to cause a little accident for the people who cross him. Yeah, he could take care of it himself no problem, but he has his gorgeous s/o to help him out! Besides, think of it as practice! Maybe they get caught in some freak storm that only seems to be happening wherever they are. Or their car gets struck by lighting, it’s not your fault babes, just the weather
• dwayne would be too respectful cautious to ask you of anything. Your power could go out of control and you could hurt yourself! Or at least thats what you think, really, he’s just coming up with the best way to ask. He’d ask without seeming too selfish, like if it was raining on his night to take you out, he’d politely ask you to clear up the weather. He wouldn’t ask you to do anything bad, encourage you if you wanted to? well, as long as your not hurting yourself or one of the boys, then sure! go ahead love
• paul would use your abilities menacingly, he would be semi careful to not push you or hurt you, but his limits are definitely not your own, sometimes he’s oblivious to you getting tired and not wanting to do it anymore. But if it starts to hurt, he’s hyperaware, asking if you’re okay, if you need anything, and maybe you can just try again later! when you’re all rested right? Nope, once you got hurt, dwayne and david forbid paul from your powers, even though he was very sorry and apologetic and sulked about it all night.
• they’d all be careful with you, make sure you were okay with doing something before asking you to do it. And they’d always make sure you were okay mentally, because last time, a group of girls on the boardwalk pissed you off, your skin got so hot that when Paul tried to touch you, you burned him.
• after apologizing profusely and a short dip in the ocean, you were okay. Though, they knew to keep you away from things that’ll seriously piss you off,
• or that one time, david yelled at you, well not at you but he raised his voice in your direction and tears started falling and it almost sent the cave crumbling in for the second time.
• new rule, david wasn’t allowed to yell at you, even though he swears up and down he didn’t yell at you, the rule was still in place. along with you and the rest of the boys calling him a meanie the rest of the night.
117 notes · View notes
shotorozu · 3 years
Note
hi bae!!! deku, shoto, denki with an s/o who's like affectionate with all her friends and they get insecure and kinda jealous :( ?? tysm in advance <33
s/o that’s affectionate to friends
character(s) : midoriya izuku, todoroki shouto, kaminari denki (bnha)
legend : [Y/N = your name, L/N = last name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not specific
headcanon type : fluff, kinda angsty but there’s reassurance (x reader)
note(s) : another one i kinda held off doing because of it getting buried in the inbox sndjwkd i’m sorry for the delay! i didn’t like how denki’s turned out im so sorry
➽───────────────❥
Tumblr media
midoriya izuku
man already knows that you’re very touchy with your friends, that’s just who you are
heck, i think before you guys started dating, you were touchy to him too! (but even more because,, you like him)
so he shouldn’t be shocked when you link onto kirishima’s arm, or when you jump to give mina a back hug
and most especially, when you poke at bakugou’s cheeks— and he just LETS YOU for some reason
he’s glad that you feel comfortable around people, considering that it’s why you’re even touchy in the first place.
but he can’t help but wonder,, is he doing enough to you? i mean, you basically do the same to him, but added the cheek, lip kisses
and the wonderful words you get to shower him in daily.
not only that, but he does tend to flush up when you try to initiate some sort of physical affection. maybe,, he’s supposed to let you be?
let you do all of that, since it makes you happy? i mean,, he supposes that he’s willing to do that.
izuku’s not a restrictive person when it comes to things like that, so he supposes that he’ll just have to ignore the weighted feeling on his shoulders despite not carrying a thing at that very moment
on the other hand, you couldn’t help but notice a change in izuku. not anything too concerning, of course
but he’d turn a blind eye— whenever you’d initiate physical affection to your other friends. he’d go silent, until it was over
eventually, you overhear a rather heartbreaking conversation between the dekusquad, and izuku himself
“deku! if you’re so down about it, then maybe you should tell Y/N about it! i don’t think they mean any harm.” you could hear uraraka console him
“correct. L/N-kun does not look like the type to be unfaithful. and even if they were, that would’ve been unacceptable behavior!”
and through out the discussion on how izuku could confront you, his s/o— he speaks abruptly
“i mean.. if Y/N is happy with being physically affectionate with their friends then,, i can’t stop them.” he says sadly, but it breaks your heart knowing that you’ve caused him to sound like this
“plus, i’m sure they have a reason to be acting that way, right?” you didn’t think how your affectionate attitude would have its effects on him
so, the next time you saw your boyfriend, you had a talk with him
“hey, honey!” he’d greet you with the usual demeanor, as if he didn’t just talk about his feelings “how are you? sorry that i was a little late, i was talking with the others!”
you smile, accepting the reason (since it’s true) “izuku, can you be honest with me?”
and this statement shocks him for a bit, “oh uhm,, yeah i can! did i do something wrong?” he scoots next to you, waiting for your reply
“does me being physically affectionate towards my friends make you,, uncomfortable?” you inquire, as straightforward as you could
he’s silent for a bit, which makes you speak again “you can be honest, it’s okay. you’re not in any trouble, zuku.” you ruffle his hair softly for comfort
then, he finally answers. “uhm,, uncomfortable isn’t the word. it’s not that i don’t trust you but,,”
“yeah?”
“i don’t trust,, me.”
this statement takes you by surprise, “oh, why?”
“i don’t trust myself that i could make you happy,” he continues “with physical affection, i mean. i understand if you weren’t, i just feel like i’m not giving you enough.”
“i understand though!” izuku continues, “whenever you initiate physical affection, i can’t help but get all staggery and nervous,” he rambles
he sounds normal, sure— but he’s not looking at you, his emerald eyes set in a downcast state
you make him face you, gently grabbing a hold of his shoulders “i’m sorry, zuku.” you press a kiss on his temples
“in truth, yes. i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with my physical affection.” you confess, “i’d see that you’d go red whenever i’d initiate something,” you tease, which gives you the exact reaction you’ve wanted
“but then,, i also didn’t think about how you felt about it. i didn’t consider the possibility of you being uncomfortable with it, so i want to apologize for that.” you lean against him, taking his hand and pressing a kiss on his palm
“if you want, i could stop it. there are other ways i could show affection to my friends anyway!” you suggest, but he shakes his head, smiling
“i appreciate it, but you don’t have to.” he reassures, “if it makes you happy then i’ll be happy.”
“is there anything else?”
“just maybe uhm,,” he trails off for a second, before continuing “give me what you give them, but multiply it by 200!” he suggests, his regular self coming back to you
you laugh, leaning forward to kiss him softly, “i love you, izuku. only you. people may receive my affection, yes— but you’re the only one that deserves all of it.”
and with that, the weight on his shoulders is lifted, and he didn’t actually have anything to worry about.
Tumblr media
todoroki shouto
despite shouto being sometimes socially ignorant, he is a very observant person when it comes to the person he likes
so the first thing he noticed was your touchy behavior, specifically towards your friends
sure, he’s had some of that physical affection— but it was like you knew him too well. so, he received it less that the others
it doesn’t mean that todoroki disliked your physical affection. during those few times, he did tend to,, not mind it at all, when he’d usually pull them off
and it doesn’t automatically mean that you didn’t like being around todoroki, it was given that he wasn’t very big on being physical
he didn’t care, again— as long as you were happy, but then there would be this tight feeling in his chest whenever you’d run off to do it to bakugou, hugging him leisurely
or even midoriya, sometimes
so, when you guys finally confess to each other— it doesn’t appear that your physical affection towards your peers came to an end
it remained the same, and while he’s the one that received your delightful words, fully devoted love, and time— he can’t help but frown whenever he sees you latch onto kaminari
or when you sit beside midoriya and count all the freckles on his cheeks— the blush on his face being hard to ignore, in your boyfriend’s eyes.
i don’t think shouto’s a jealous person— protective is one thing, and possessive? maybe that one time, he was. but jealous? maybe not.
well, it’s not like he doesn’t trust you to stay loyal and faithful, that’s a different thing. but it’s more like,, he wants for the affection you’re giving to them
needy, that’s the word
early on, (and maybe even before you got together with shouto) it’s been established that shouto wasn’t a biggest fan of physical affection, besides hand holding, and cheek kisses for now
it makes sense to you, especially hearing about his childhood, and his father’s true colors— that are far from anything heroic.
and you definitely respect what he wants— if he wants space, you’ll comply! and if he wanted more, you’ll also be willing to comply!
that’s why you’ve been keeping things just at that— the last thing you want is making shouto uncomfortable, the concept terrifies you
but,, shouto doesn’t exactly know how to tell you that he wants more, more and more— he wants all of your affection
so, what does he do? he tells you in one exact way— he tells you what’s on his mind
and quite bluntly for that matter
the both of you have been sitting in silence for a bit, no words were exchanged. however, glances were sent towards your way
his stare has a different edge to it, as if he had something in particular he wanted to say— mouth gaping open as if he were to speak, but no words come out
“shou,” you call out to him softly, “it looks like you have something to say,” you smile at him, wanting to know what was in that head of his “you can talk to me.”
a minute flies by, and he’s still silent, and you’re about to drop the topic for good— until he finally speaks up “i don’t know what i’m feeling.”
this quirks your interest, “oh, what,, are you feeling?” what he said worries you, since it kinda sounds like he was about to deliver some bad news
“i’m,, not sure myself.” he stares down at his hands “i feel weird, whenever i see you be.. touchy around the others.”
weird, huh? “what kind of weird? could you try to explain? maybe i could pinpoint what you’re feeling.”
“i feel weird, since i haven’t experienced this before,” he breathes in, before he goes on “i feel like i want more, selfishly more. i thought i would’ve been fine with receiving minimal physical affection,”
he turns to you, heterochromatic eyes staring deep into yours “but i’m not fine with it! i want more, like what you give to the others. so that’s why,, it’s weird.”
and it suddenly dawns onto you on what he’s talking about, he’s talking about you being physically affectionate towards your friends and classmates
and how he doesn’t like it.
you frown, scooting next to him “i’m sorry you feel that way, shou.” you fix a stray piece of hair that has been misplaced, hanging near his brow
“i’m glad that you were being honest, and told me,” you cautiously hold his hand, looking at him to detect any discomfort
there’s none
“yes, i’ve been careful. i don’t wish to make you feel weird— in the bad way, and most especially uncomfortable!” he nods in understanding, he adjusts the hold on your hand, choosing to place his hand on top of yours
“and i didn’t.. think about how you would’ve felt about it. i should’ve asked you about it first.” you look at him with meaning, “‘m sorry.”
his gaze softens, and he leans closer— ever than before “it’s alright, love, no need to apologize,”
“that’s just who you are, if you show gratitude and affection with being physical, then that’s okay. i just,, want more— if that’s okay with you.” you nod, laughing softly
“i’ll give you more, if that’s what you wish. i’ll give you everything you want, whatever makes you happy.” shouto presses a kiss on your temple
“so,, does that mean you’re going to.. stop?” he asks— just because he wanted to know
“oh, if you want to, then i will.”
“you don’t have to but.. maybe tone it down?” he suggests, because although the idea of your physical affection towards your friends coming to a halt, is nice he wouldn’t admit that outloud
he doesn’t want you to stop, if that’s how you show gratitude to your friends. so, toning it down’s the best option
“i will,” you smile, “only high fives, pats on the back, and quick hugs, from now on!”
the statement makes him smile, a genuine one— he’s just glad that his concerns have a resolve now. man was just really touch starved, couldn’t blame him
Tumblr media
kaminari denki
it took a while for him to actually start being concerned
i mean— dude’s practically the same as you. have you seen him play with ojirou’s tail? he always finds himself touching someone
whether it’d be him poking bakugou’s spiky head of hair (until he’d scream at him) or him resting his elbows on kirishima— he’s always touching someone
so, he understands if you’re going to be touchy feely with others. he actually finds it quite cute when you show your endearing side to your friends with touch (without crossing boundaries of course)
so, it was okay keyword : was
until you slowly started kissing your friends on the cheek— and it erupted,, something from within
it was so casual, that he had to process what just happened— following it up with a smile, to play it off.
he feels bad for feeling iffy about it, honest! he doesn’t have a reason to distrust you, so this feels all,, wrong for him
the gesture was definitely a gradual process. it wasn’t like you just randomly started to kiss people on the cheek— and it wasn’t like you were depriving him
so this made him think harder than he has ever thought before. maybe you were getting tired of being affectionate to him only, so you moved away from that?
or maybe you were tired of HIS affection?
maybe you were giving people affection, because they deserved it, and he didn’t? if this was the case, denki can’t complain.
denki knows he’s not smart like iida, or serious like bakugou.
but even to denki, all of that is a stretch. he’s just laying out all of the possible reasons— rational or not
and before he realized it, you knew that there was something up
denki; utterly afraid of losing you, switches from super affectionate to being isolated in his room— every single day
this is his way of experimenting with your reactions
even the bakusquad didn’t know what was up so,, yeah. there must be something bothering him.
you’re given a few ideas as to why kaminari might be acting this way, and the exact idea popped into your mind
you made him insecure
and you instantly felt bad— yes, you give all of your friends cheek kisses, and you give them to your boyfriend too!
but you didn’t realize that you would’ve potentially harmed him in the process. so, you sought out to talk to him
“hey babe,” it was just in time, your boyfriend enters through your door, “i was looking everywhere for you, you won’t believe it! i would’ve evaporated if i had to endure bakugou’s screaming one more time!”
“i was looking for you too,” you smile, ushering him to sit on your bed, “listen, i want to talk to you.”
“oh,”
“don’t worry, denki. you’re not in any trouble,” you reassure, “i just want to apologize”
it’s his turn to be confused “what? why?”
“let me ask you one thing, how do you feel about me giving people affection?”
he swallows harshly, but answers truthfully “i like it a lot, babe! i do find it cute.” he smiles, but you’re not fully convinced that his statement made it’s end
“i feel like there’s more i should know.”
“i,, yeah.” he admits, and not very gracefully “it’s— ugh! i’m sorry. i know this is really out of character for me, and i’m sorry that you have to see me feeling like,,”
“you can be honest.” you remind him briefly
“—weird. look, it’s not like your love language is weird to me. i think it’s just me being a needy idiot! and it’s not like i think you’re cheating on me!” he holds his hands up in defense
“but in a way,, i didn’t expect you to do that— you’ve only started doing it recently.”
“so it made you uncomfortable?” you’re preparing for the expected answer, ready for what’s about to be said
“,, if the shoe fits.”
seeing denki in this sort of manner gave you the biggest reality check. yes, you knew that you had something to do with his recent personality change
but you didn’t realize how much it made him question himself.
“i’m sorry, once again” you apologize, “it was wrong of me to assume you were fine with it, i just thought you’d be fine with it since well,,”
“hey, it’s okay,” denki smiles, his mood slightly better “i’m touchy too, i mean,, we both show affection physically! i’m not very surprised that you thought i was fine with it.” he brushes his thumb on your cheekbone
“i mean it, denki. i didn’t realize how much it would’ve affected you. you might not realize it, but i do.”
“it’s fineeee,” he whines playfully when you’re still upset, “Y/N, you’re affectionate, which is a trait i absolutely love. if you’re physically affectionate, that fine.”
“just uhm,,” he trails off, almost awkwardly. “maybe,, don’t bless them with your,, cheek kisses? ugh! omg there was definitely a better way to say that.”
to any other person, that would’ve been awkward— like,, really. but you understood, that’s how much you know about him
“got it, they will be exclusively for you.” you kiss him on the cheek, “thanks for being honest, denki.”
at that moment, denki’s shoulders felt lighter, and he suddenly forgot about why he even felt this way. yes, you still gave people physical affection BUT
denki kaminari still wins 😎 your kisses and ultimate tokens of affection are strictly for him
Tumblr media
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission :))
1K notes · View notes
enhypia · 3 years
Text
JW ; bestfriends to lovers
Tumblr media
bestfriends to lovers answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering
pairings: yang jungwon x gn!reader
genre: fluff, angst if you squint
words: roughly 1.1k
masterlist ⸺ series masterlist
~guides and warnings~
italics - reader speaking
bold - jungwon speaking
[enclosed] - interviewer speaking
italicized bold - both reader and jungwon speaking
[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)
heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink
warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing
i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
hi i'm jungwon
and i'm (y/n)
and we're bestfriends besties
okay one more time
we're bestfriends to lovers!
*they high-five
[you guys were invited here today as bestfriends turned lovers for a fun little drinking game, you guys aware of that right?]
we were
i had to convince jungwon a little bit because he's a lightweight
i am not
you can just answer the questions instead of drinking anyway
i hope you get hard ones so you get drunk
*(y/n) :P
[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]
*both nod
[how did you guys become bestfriends?]
our parents forced us, we were threatened
*they laugh
no, our parents are friends and they had this little get-together and they brought their children with
yeah, that's why we were forced to interact
it was better than listening to our parents and not relating to anything
and they got so happy seeing us interacting that we were just always brought to their hangouts
[what was your first impression of each other?]
that jungwon wouldn't hesitate to kick my ass
you weren't wrong
i know. his eyes are very expressive, and i thought he hated me the first time we met
i did
sucks to suck then cause you're dating me now
*jungwon sighs deeply
*(y/n) :O
i thought they were shy
I AM ?!@#
uh huh keep telling yourself that honey
*(y/n) !!??!?
[how about we officially start the game now?]
*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jungwon wins
*jungwon ohhhs after seeing the question
[was there a point where you wanted to end our friendship?]
why are we starting heavy already? gosh
sooo??
i'm answering. there wasn't?
WHY AREN'T YOU SURE??
becaUSE I HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU??? of course i didn't want just friendship, isn't that technically ending it? but from my understanding is end the friendship like completely cut ties off?
*interviewer nods
then no, there wasn't
*(y/n) quickly picks up the card and immediately laughs after reading the question
what? what is it
oh you better answer this cause even i don't know
[when did you start having feelings for me?]
*jungwon blushes and starts to pour a shot
yah!
i'm still answering! i just need this drink
*(y/n) laughs
i started liking you around prom....
*jungwon refuses to meet (y/n) widened eyes
that was almost 2 years ago?!@!
*jungwon ignores the claim
so you're telling me that we could've been together already two years ago ?!
*jungwon eyes widen and smirks
*(y/n) realizes their mistake
[so you already had a crush on me back then too?]
*(y/n) takes a shot sporting a blush and gives a pointed glare, then smiles innocently
i've liked you way before that darling, you just didn't notice
*jungwon.exe has stopped working
okay! next question
[have you ever been jealous of anyone who hit up on me?]
oh god, you wouldn't believe how much time i wasted constantly reminding myself that i have no right to be jealous
*jungwon laughs
what do they even see in you ugh
*he rolls his eyes
you're literally dating me
and what about it??
*jungwon :P
[have YOU ever been jealous of anyone who hit up on me?]
no why would i be?
damn thought for sure the reason you distanced yourself from me when-
*he clamps his hand on (y/n) mouth
we do not speak their name
*(y/n) laughs and pushes jungwon's hand off their face then picks up a card
[question for both: was it scary falling for your bestfriend]
*both share a look and takes a shot
it was terrifying. because you're risking this once in a lifetime friendship and bond you know? that's why i tried really hard to suppress what i was feeling because i couldn't stand the idea of loosing all those just because i liked the person.
*jungwon takes a shot making (y/n) laugh
it was super scary since we've been beside each other for years and i'd rather deal with the unrequited love?? because not having them by my side would be more painful than that
*(y/n) drinks
*both giggle because they're getting tipsy by drinking even though they still answer the question
[who confessed first? how did you guys get together?]
i confessed first. my parents were thinking of moving and i was panicking because i'd have to leave everything behind and in my head i didn't want to leave without jungwon knowing what i felt for him, so i just went 'fuck it, i wont see him again anytime soon anyway' and confessed.
and then they RAN straight home right after, i couldn't even reply??
I WAS SCARED GIVE ME A BREAK
yeah but they forgot that i literally have a key to their house, so i just went there and confessed as well.
and it turns out, we weren't moving, so tada, here we are
we got together after like a week since the confession
jungwon got jealous of-
*he puts a finger to (y/n) mouth to shush them
no❤️
*(y/n) chuckles
what's important is that i love you, you're mine and i am yours, period.
*(y/n).exe is malfunctioning because of jungwon's boldness and drinks
sorry, he gets more straightforward when intoxicated
im intoxicated, not drunk, so my words are true
*(y/n) can't fight the heavy blush appearing on their face
i swear if you don't shut off i will fight you
no you can't, you love me
*(y/n) deadpans and suddenly stares at jungwon lovingly
*pokemon jungwon is paralyzed!
i do, i love you so much.
*he squeaks and tries to hide the blush on his face
*(y/n) bursts out laughing
[last question, how does it feel being in a relationship with your bestfriend?]
it's amazing and kind of scary actually, jungwon knows me so well, and too well, so i can't escape anything from him. whenever i don't feel the best he just knows already without me saying anything. i'm thankful honestly, because he's always there ever since, the bonus now is just i get unlimited kisses and affection
*jungwon rolls his eyes
it's,,, comfortable ?? it's like the safety and comfort home brings. i just feel so understood and loved, sometimes i wonder if i really deserve all these but like (y/n), i'm just grateful that i have them with me.
*everyone in the room aww'ed making them laugh
*jungwon and (y/n) takes one last shot and waved to the camera
and CUT!
»————- ♡ ————-«
bonus: youtube comments
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: im so hapi that the series masterlist is getting notes huhu tysm <33 i hope you like this one, ive always imagined jungwon as someone who flusters people but you can easily fluster him back, esp if you're his s/o, i'll try to create the rest of the members' as quickly as i can :>>
277 notes · View notes
monsterenergysimp · 4 years
Text
Permanence
corpse husband x fem!reader 
summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you 
warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing
word count: 1.9k
notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)
main blog @itsmysleepover
read part 2 here!
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.
“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.
On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.
“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.
“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”
Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.  
“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.
“I told you guys I was ruthless!”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.
C: hey :)
You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?
Y: Hii! This is sudden
C: was i bothering you?
    shit sorry!
Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn
C: how has your day been
    i dont usually do stuff like this
Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored
C: what were you doing that was so terrible
Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(
C: im sure youll find something to do
You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.
Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo
C: what?
    NO!
You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.
Y: [image] it came out nice!
C: thats  super cool actually
    i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and       youre super talented
Y: Thank you!
For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.
Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch
    [link]
C: ill be watching ;)
What’s that supposed to mean?
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.
C: wanna talk?
You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.
Y: Yeah id love to talk
Here goes nothing.
Y: Wanna facetime or something?
     No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call
     I think facetime is just my default lol
You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.
Still no message.
Why am I so fucking stupid?  
Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.
C: sure lets facetime
    xxx-xxx-xxxx
You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.
“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.
“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.
“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.
“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”
“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”
“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”
“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”
“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”
“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”
“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”
“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.
“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”
He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”
You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).
“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”
1K notes · View notes
kaijuconfessions · 2 years
Note
person who dated a 13y/o as a 16y/o you are not alone in having a shitty relationship you cant really vent about because the age gap makes you sound predatory/gross if you mention it.
when i (transmasc but at the time not out so “still a girl”) was 14-about-to-turn-15 i was friends with a 12 year old who developed a crush on me and he asked me to go out with him. for some reason i said yes, i think i felt bad turning him down since i was like his only friend at school? aaanyway this was not a good decision on my part i still regret it.
once we were actually “dating” he started to cross boundaries SO fast. he would ask me to skype call him like, every night and he would just spend the whole time either a) spend the entire time venting about how depressed he was, claiming he wanted to kill himself constantly and fucking telling me i was the only reason he hadnt, i saved his life, i was his “guardian angel” and he would kill himself if he didnt have me, etc (which kept me in the relationship longer because i genuinely believed it). a couple times he actually threatened suicide, asking me what i would do if he just took a knife and slit his throat right there on call while i watched. OR 2) masturbating and asking to see my tits/watch me touch myself. i was never comfortable with this but he kept pressuring me so i went along with it way too many times -_-
oh also we lived really close to each other (next neighborhood over in a suburban area) so sometimes he would ask me to meet him out in the wash between our houses. specifically there was this huge bridge we would meet under since it was the most “private” area out there and we would idk make out and such. he would always want to finger me even tho i clearly wasnt into it. he wanted to actually have sex (“at least put it inside just to know what it feels like”) but i was TERRIFIED of getting pregnant so i shut that shit down. but he asked me to “at least” suck his dick and i didnt feel like i could explain refusing so i did. i gave the worst blowjob imaginable lol i just put it in my mouth i like barely moved and did not suck it at all but he was like “ughhhh youre so good at this 😫” LOL anyway he didnt tell me he was going to cum in my mouth. it tasted like fucking hand sanitizer. he asked if i would let him actually fuck me if he got condoms but thankfully that never ended up happening.
anyway i somehow managed to end things with him. i felt bad about it for a while worrying it would make him more depressed and shit but a few years later he dmed me on discord going “heyyy just so you know my cock is way bigger now. like 8 inches. oh gode im sooo high rn” and i didnt feel quite as bad anymore bc anyone that does that shit to people just sucks lol.
but yeah i cant vent about this shit to ANYONE because “i dated and engaged in sex acts with a 12 year old” automatically sounds awful and i still feel like i shouldve been more “mature” and shut him down bc no matter how you look at it a 12y/o should never be engaged with sexually esp by someone older. and i know people would still judge me for it even hearing my side of things where its clear that i was manipulated and coerced and shit.
anyway sorry for the essay in your inbox youre doing the lords work running this blog tho 👍
Sure he was just a kid but so were you
17 notes · View notes
goldentsum · 4 years
Text
━ jealousy
REQUESTS: (seperately) bokuto, hinata, and akaashi x jealous s/o. say that she isn’t a very jealous person to begin with but there’s another girl who seemed to have taken a liking to the boys and she doesn’t like it. add some angst if you will :) hopefully ends with some fluff. 
🎕 asked by: nonnie 🎕
CHARACTERS: bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou, and akaashi keiji
GENRE: angst, fluff
AUTHOR’S NOTE: i don’t know if i did it right but D: i’m rlly active rn cus im excited idk why-- also hinata has a lot of dialogue in this one
━ bokuto ♡
bokuto is a jealous baby owl and you know it,, know it too well... he gets pouty if your attention is elsewhere even for a minute!
you, on the other hand, is as cool as a cucumber. well, that what it looks like anyway. 
you get jealous quite a lot, to be honest, but your pride won’t live if you show it so you just try to shrug it off every time
but when kou gets a little too much attention it pisses you the fuck off 
you get snappy and your mood is down for the day but kou is always on his way to make it better~ 
the baby owl may be oblivious but when the topic is about you, he pays attention to your every movement and to what makes you tick
so when someone!! a person you hate because of their flirty attitude and rude remarks gets a little too close to your baby--
oh, it's about to go down!
you’re in the cafeteria sitting on one of the free tables, waiting for your hyperactive baby owl, when you see a certain someone clinging to Bokuto and pressing their chest against his arm
aND WHAT PISSES YOU OFF MORE IS THE OBLIVIOUS SMILE ON BOKUTO’S FACE
you turned around and looked at the juice box you bought for bokuto and grabbed it roughly, stabbing the straw to drink it yourself
you knew how popular bokuto was and how ‘plain’ you were but it still hurt when people never respecting bo’s personal space and your relationship as you two were publicly open with your relationship
akaashi, who was lagging behind bokuto, saw this and quickly rescued the dense captain making a certain someone whines about it but akaashi paid no mind and dragged bo away and towards your table
“hey, babe!” 
you looked at him and rolled your eyes, scoffing a little with the straw still on your mouth as you proceed to ignore him
bokuto’s eyes widen at that and sat closer to you, leaning closer and putting his head on your shoulder, nuzzling at you. 
this usually makes you break but nope, your pride said nope and you ate lunch with bo pouting and whining to you. akaashi who watched the whole scene sighed.
the next time you saw bokuto was at dismissal with him racing to your classroom the moment the bell rang. he went inside when your teacher dismissed you and waited on the side for you even though you were ignoring him. but what slightly shocked you was the serious face he has on. 
when everyone else was gone and you were about to go to, bokuto grabbed your hand and made you stay
“what’s wrong? please talk to me...” He whispered, hugging you close to his body. 
you pouted at that, the gesture cracking your cold demeanor quickly. you sighed and hugged back the sweet boy.
“i’m sorry for ignoring you, kou...” 
you felt his smile on your skin making you smile too
“It’s okay but please explain...” 
his innocent words and eyes made you shy. maybe you overreacted a little bit but your ego is too big sometimes
you averted your eyes and looked at your shoes, bokuto’s arms still around you. 
“cus... you let (h/n) touch you and you were smiling too!” 
you whined a bit, looking up at him. his surprised expression then turned into relief and he started laughing
“who knew you were the jealous type too, (Y/n)!” 
you pouted and hid your face on his chest, 
“shut up... i’m human too, ya know... and you’re not one to talk, you’re the one who always gets jealous..”
“That’s cus my girlfriend is too pretty and too many guys have their eyes on you!”
you scoffed playfully at that, not having the energy to remind bokuto that those guys were just asking for some notes or something to you, knowing well that it would brew into bokuto pulling up his ‘facts’ and arguments on you again that those guys were unto something...
“shut up, you owl”  
“your owl~” 
━ hinata ♡
this small bean is also one of the easily jealous type and he creates a safe and danger distance around you in his mind
there’s only a certain distance a guy can come close to you and if that line gets crossed, he goes pROTECTIVE MODE
tanaka and noya are proud of their pupil as they watch him circle around you like a rabid dog or crow?
he is always with you! ALWAYS! And he always buys you some cold drink or if you don’t bring lunch, he lets you share his bento with the courtesy of his mother as he asks her to make a bigger lunch for him when he knew that you don’t really bring your own lunch.
so when it was lunchtime and hinata was nowhere in sight, that worries you a LOT
you run to the courtyard where you two usually hangs out with kageyama but was surprised to only see Kageyama and his milk box
jogging up to the tall male and you asked him about shoyou and you heard an answer you were not expecting to hear
“some fancy pink letter asked him to go to the rooftop, it said that they wanted to say something to that tangerine” 
(y/n).exe has stopped working
kageyama looked at you with a quirked brow, still sipping on the milk box, he poked you with a curious look
“why did you let him go, you idiot!” you said, surprising kageyama who pouted and glared at you
“why the hell are you yelling? he’s just meeting someone!” 
“you dense blueberry!” you shouted and hit kageyama on the shoulder with a light scowl
kageyama was about to retort when a familiar childish growling caught his attention as you both looked at the side and saw a glaring hinata racing towards you two at a fast rate
“why you kageyama--! don’t get too close to my girlfriends!”
hinata slotted himself between you two and started bickering with the tol blueberry
you sighed at the scene in front of you and a light pink object caught your attention. there it was, a pink chocolate bar in hinata’s hand as he waved it around, trying to punch kageyama. 
you frowned at it and started walking away, leaving kageyama and hinata at the courtyard. hiding from hinata, you ate lunch in the bathroom stall as icky feelings start to grow.
after lunch, you quickly run to your classroom wanting to avoid seeing hinata at the moment 
but luck wasn’t at your side when Hinata dragged you off and got inside the janitor’s closet with you. 
“hinata, what are you doing! lunch is already finished, i’m gonna be late for class!” 
you tried to leave the small room but hinata closed the door when you tried to open it
“no! you left me with kageyama all lunch break!”
“i-i had a stomach ache and went to the nurse’s office--”
“i went there too, you weren’t in there” 
an awkward silence filled the small room while you looked at hinata with surprise
“i-it doesn’t matter--”
“It does matter! If you feel the need to lie to me then it’s a big matter!” hinata said, frowning at you 
you sighed and let hinata hold your hand
“please tell me what’s wrong” 
“i heard you got confessed to”
hinata blew a fuse at that and started waving his hands furiously, “h-how’d you know?! i didn’t accept it, i promise--!” 
“you didn’t?” 
hinata stopped for a moment and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing
“yeah, i got myself the best girlfriend... why would i wanna change that?” 
you went closer to Hinata, letting your body hit his and hugged him
“i-i’m sorry... it’s just that, i thought you would find someone better and leave me...” 
“I WOULD NEVER! You’re the best girlfriend in the whole wide world, (Y/n)!”
“You’re the best boyfriend too, little tangerine” 
━━ akaashi ♡
let’s be real here, you’re definitely the jealous one in the relationship. I mean having a boyfriend who’s too pretty to comprehend and easily attracts a lot of attention can make you like that. but you hide it pretty well, well most of the time anyway...
akaashi always ALWAYS pays attention to you and knows everything that can trigger you to become sad, angry, jealous, and happy
he always makes sure that you’re always fine and happy, that you’re comfortable and content
we stan the perfect boyfie 🥺
bUT he can be quite dense sometimes when it’s not about you or volleyball.. fUKURODANI PPL ARE DENSE 
girls would always flock his classroom before you can get there, snacks and treats in their hands to give it to akaashi and being the petty little gremlin that you are, you were pouty
akaashi sighed because it’s always either you were pouty or bokuto is and sometimes the worst-case scenario happened where both of you are pouty at the sAME TIME! 
akaashi= Mom Daddy
you reached our final form of pouty when you saw a certain someone a bitch dragged akaashi to talk to him or whatever and being the curious thing you are, you followed them and hid behind the vending machine, listening to their convo
“you know, your girlfriend is cheating on you, right?” 
wHY THAT BITCH! She just lied like it’s her common language wtf! 
you prayed that your baby boo won’t believe her cus YOU ARE NOT CHEATING ON HIM! why tf would you cheat on him when you hit the jackpot? tf
“and you must know that spreading rumors and lies about a person can take you off the first string in the track team right?” 
oOF--! YOUR BOYFIE REALLY POPPED OFF HUH
you snickered behind your hands, listening to the lying snake stutter a complain but akaashi cut her off 
“if this is all then I’m going now but if i hear any rumor circling around (y/n), i won’t hesitate to take action myself.” 
the snake scoffed at that and walked away, stomping 
there was silence for a moment but then keiji called out, surprising you
“i know you’re here, (y/n)” 
you stiffened at that and moved away from your hiding spot while coming up with excuses
“i-i wasn’t doing anything! she just dragged you off so i followed--!” 
akaashi smiled softly at you, walking closer and patted your head gently making you feel flustered.
“i know, let’s go? you must be hungry” 
“you won’t leave me for her, right, keiji?” 
akaashi shook his head at your question, a small smile on his face and looked at you, letting his hand fall and held your smaller hand in his
“it’s not like you’ll let me leave”
“HEY! you make it seem like i’m holding you as a hostage or something!”
“hmm”
2K notes · View notes
weeb-writor · 4 years
Text
Do you still love me?
Hello lovelies! Today I am back with a angst piece but a happy ending don't fret too much! I was really thinking about making it end horribly or leaving it up to the readers imagination but I decided nahh i couldn't do that to my heart. So here Bakugou and his s/o who fell out of love??(or did they??) when then have a large family in the mix. I have also decided im kind of obsessed with domestic pieces lol, they are like more than half of all my posts. Anywho, reader is neutral hope you guys enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
You and Bakugou call its quits not thinking of what it would do to your 5 kids who are stuck in the middle
Words:  3606
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are we going to dad’s today?” Hiroyuki asked softly.
“Yeah, your going to spend the weekend with him, all of you.” You smiled at him.
“Can I bring Tokki?” He said looking at the ground already knowing your answer.
“We went over this last time baby, Daddy can't have pets at his new place and Tokki is a cat, he likes staying at home.” You said with a sigh. It really sucks that it came down to this, spend a week with you then a weekend with dad, then rinse repeat. Sometimes you even wondered if it was better. That’s what you and Bakugou told each other, I mean what else can you do when you fall out of love? You approached your car where all of your other children were waiting. You and Hiroyuki sat down and signaled the diver to go.
“We going to daddy’s right?” Kohana said as she bounced around in her seat. You booped her nose and nodded at her.
“Yay, daddy’s home!” Yoko said, clapping.
“Don't get excited Yoko, Dad’s probably busy. Were probably gonna be with Grandpa and Grandma.” Hiroyuki said playing with your fingers.
“You're so dramatic Yuki! Of course dad is busy! He is a Hero but he always makes time for us.” Your oldest said little explosion going off around her.
“Kaori.” You warned her with a stern voice. The little sparks calmed and she went back to quietly gazing out the window. 
“Your dad is a hero and therefore busy but I know he is very excited to see you all and will spend all the time he has with you.” You smiled at them. They all smiled back before going back into relative silence. When you and Bakugou decided to have a big family you were ecstatic and so was he. This, however, wasn't what you imagined. A tiny rift right threw your family and it was growing bigger everyday. When you told the kids about the spilt they didnt say much and the youngest ones didnt even really understand but as they lived through it, they changed. They formed their own opinions about who’s fault it is and why it happened. And now they were splitting up, there was Kaori the eldest who didn't care too much, Yoko, and Kohana. At the opposite end was Hiroyuki, just him. Your fragile little boy who was so sure it was his dad’s fault. Saiyuri was too young to choose a side but all the change wasn't really helping the 11th month old baby.
“We have arrived.” The diver announced. You thanked him while getting everyone out of the seats and exiting the car. Bakugou lived in an apartment now at the tippy top of course. It was a long and loud elevator ride as your kids were antsy to see their dad. When it opened Bakugou was standing there waiting for them and was immediately met with an armful of girls.
“Daddy! I missed you so much!” Kohana said almost in tears.
“Misses Daddy.” Yoko echoed her sister.
“Yeah, I missed all you brats too, you better have been on your best behavior! You have to keep up the Bakugou reputation.” He teased them
“Of course we have! I'm still number one in my quirk development classes. Yuki has the best grades in all of his grade. Kohana is reading at a 3rd grade level already and Yoko and Saiyuri are everyone's favorite at the Daycare!” Kaori said with vigor.
“Yeah, your all Bakugou’s for sure.” He chuckled at them. He turned to talk to Hiroyuki but he was gone. You heard a door shut, he was probably already in his room.
“I've got homework to do dad and them we should do something all together!” Kaori said kissing his check before taking off. Her sisters followed her as usual.
“How long do you think he’ll be like that?” Bakugou asked you with a sigh.
“Honestly I don't know, it's not like I tell him awful things about you. Maybe it would have been better if we did cause then he would have one thing to be angry about, one event, It would be easier than him just being angry at you.” You said placing Saiyuri onto the ground to walk around.
“They’re so mature and smart I forget they’re so young. Hell we don't understand why it happened, you can't just pinpoint a time where you fell outta love, it’s gradual. So how can we expect them too.” Bakugou said, sounding in pain.
“Yeah, sucks they had to witness it. I’ve got to go meet up with someone but just… He thinks you’re going to call your parents and abandon them to do Hero work. I know you can't put off everything but I think he just wants to know that for once he can come first to you.” You said as you kissed Saiyoui’s forehead. You were about to enter the elevator when a weight crashed into you. You didn't have to look down too far to see Hiroyuki hugging you.
“Take care of Tokki, please.”
“Yes and you make sure you and your sisters behave for your dad.” He sighed but nodded at you. You gave him one last hair ruffle before leaving. You couldn't help but think this wasn't ever gonna get any easier. You sighed before heading to the next destination, a café to meet with a few of your friends.
“Y/N!” You heard a voice call to you as soon as you opened the door. You identified the voice as Mina.
“Mina! Long time no see!” You said giving her a hug.
“Y/n, dear come sit down.” Momo said smiling at you, you sat down with the group.
“How are you doing.” Mina asked you cautiously
“I’m surprisingly doing awful, I see Bakugou too much to truly get over him. The kids are still adjusting to us being apart and Hiroyuki has been really upset and distant. I thought breaking up would fix a lot but it just made everything worse.” You sighed out.
“Well of course it did!!!” Urakara whisper yelled.
“You and Bakugou called it quits way too soon! I've never seen someone handle Bakugou the way you do. I’ve never seen anyone love him like you. Hell Bakugou loves you so much it’s ridiculous! Do you remember when he was gonna put his hero work on hold because of Kaori! I’m sorry y/n but I’m not buying this fell out of love thing.” Deku rushed out.
“Mm I’d have to agree. If there is anything I’ve learned from being friends with Bakugou it’s that he never half ass anything and if he put time into it he’s gonna see it through till the end so, logically it doesn’t make sense.” Todoroki said quietly.
“Yeah so what’s your side of the story?” Mina asked carefully.
“I… loved him, you know and when we had kids it only intensified but now it’s different. Bakugou is a great dad don’t get me wrong but he’s absent and that was fine when it was just me, Kaori, Hiroyuki, and Kohana but now there is Yoko and Saiyuri. It’s hard when they all have different school times and different needs cause of their ages. It’s hard because I had to put part of my life on hold, I went to UA too and I was supposed to be one of the greatest support people out there, every agency would want me. But it was Bakugou’s dream first so I sacrificed it all in a heartbeat. Over the years he just got more busy and I got more left behind. I’m tired of waiting up till 3am to make sure he’s alright knowing I have to be up at 7 to get the kids ready for school. I… love him and I don’t want to argue with him and I could feel myself growing angry at him, feel myself growing resentful. So I brought it up under the disguise of “do you still love me” and he said No… so that was that and we were done the next week.” You said not meeting their eyes. They just looked at you with wide eyes.
“Y/n I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this.” Momo said softly.
“It’s fine, he is the love of my life and our kids are my everything so I would do it all again, just for them.” You smiled with a few tears cascading down your face.
“You haven’t tried to talk to him about this, you still love him, you guys can fix this.” Deku said almost mumbling.
“But he doesn’t love me and so there is nothing to talk about. Now come on let’s talk about something else. You can hear sob stories like mine anytime.” You waved them off. They were hesitant but the conversation did pick up about their lives and your time at UA, at least the happy parts. The rest of your two days without your kids were a blur. You just remember waking up with your phone going off a Monday.
“Hello is this Bakugou Y/n?” A women’s said. The title hurt just a bit.
“Yes it is.” You responded drowsily.
“I am very sorry you have to receive a call like this but your son Bakugou Hiroyuki has been rushed to the hospital, his sister did refuse to leave his side so she is there as well.” You were silent before hanging up and immediately calling Bakugou.
“What’s up?” He rushed out. He sounded panicked so he must have gotten a call too.
“I need you to pick up Yoko and Saiyuri.” You said rushing to put in on your clothes.
“What? But yuki is in the hospital, we’ve got to be there.” He said 
“Yes but they are done with daycare in.” You paused to look at the clock on your way out the door. “A hour. If we don’t get them now we’ll have to leave him to get them.” You said finally in your car.
“Yeah and he would rather be with you than me…” he trailed off.
“I didn’t say that.” You rushed out
“You didn’t need to, I'll get them and be there as soon as I can.” He said hanging up. You sighed and continued your drive to the hospital. When you got there you rushed to the room where you looked in and saw your son unconscious and Kaori laying next to him.
“So he is going to be okay, we do want him to remain here for another day or two.” The doctor said to you, smiling.
“Okay but what’s wrong with him.” 
“Well he hasn’t been eating or drinking or sleeping enough, especially for a boy experiencing his growth spurt. Pair that with how much he has been using his quirk in class and you have a pretty bad situation.” She said as if it was nothing to worry about.
“Uhhh okay so we just need to make sure he is eating and drinking right?” You said pacing a little.
“Yeah and I would figure out what made him stop. Your daughter was very adamant about it not being abuse just that there was something going on at home and he is trying to deal with it.” The doctor said as you froze thinking you did this to him.
“Just a divorce…” you trailed off.
“Yeah that will do it but I don’t need to know about it. It's your business just make sure to talk to him so you don’t end up back here.” She said before leaving, you let out a few tears before heading into the room. Noticing you, Kaori got up and was hugging you tighter than she ever had.
“Did you know he wasn’t taking care of himself?” You asked, stroking her hair. She shook her head no.
“I didn’t either, I didn’t know it was hitting him so hard… you know you can ask me about anything, tell me anything… me and your dad will always be in your corner.” You said lifting her chin so you gazed into her eyes.
“But you're both not in our corner anymore. You guys are in to different corners and it’s hard to keep up with two different houses and two different.. well everything’s.” She said looking away from you.
“I never meant to you guys to feel like this, I just…” You trailed off but before you could finish Hiroyuki tossed and turned in his bed.
“Yuki sweetie, can you hear me?” You said as you rushed to his side.
“Mmm.” He said, he’s eyes still shut in pain.
“Oh baby, i'm so sorry I didn't notice you were in pain. It’s never gonna happen again, okay? Do you need something?” You said stroking his hair, he hummed before falling back to sleep. You sighed and kissed his forehead.
“So whats up with him?” Bakugou rushed into the room with the girls in his arms.
“He hasn’t been eating, or drinking, or sleeping. So when he used his quirk it drained his body and he’s here for 1 or 2 more days.” You said eyes never leaving his.
“That's impossible, he was just with me… he… didn't eat very much.” He trailed off. You hummed at him understanding how he was felling as you missed the signs too.
“Hey, girls I texted Grandma and Grandpa and they said they miss you so much. So while we take care of Yuki how about you guys go see them, yeah? Mr. Yuri is waiting to take you.” You smiled at them. You see a fire rise in Kaori but it goes out quick as Bakugou ruffles her hair.
“Okay then, be good for them and don't cause too much trouble. Mr. Yuri will pick up Kohana, Kaori please explain what's happening to her. And don't worry, we’ll see you real soon.” You said waving the girls out of the room. When they were out of sight you and Bakugou visually deflated. 
“Katsuki, how does this keep happening?” You asked him
“What?”
“How do things keep getting worse, first the break up, then the kids being mad at each other, Yuki’s anger at you, and now this.” You cried out.
“The break up was bad to you?” He asked voice cracking.
“Why wouldn't it be, Katsuki I know you don't love me anymore but I…” You trailed off
“Would you just spit it out dumbass! This is why we didn't work out because you never say shit. You just bottle it up and never lean on me or depend on me the way I do to you. You used to say “we're a team” all the time but in the last 2 years you haven't said it once. It was you who fell out of love with me so don't pretend like it was so hard for you.” He yelled at you.
“This is why we don't talk Katsuki, all you wanna do is yell and project all the feelings you bottle up from working so goddamn much. Of course it was hard on me and you would know why if you could drop your ego and talk to me like you can tolerate being around me or love me!” You yelled back at him but before the argument could turn into a big screaming match your sons voice rang out.
“Would you two just stop it…” He said weakly.
“Yuki, im sorry we shouldn't have been yelling even if you were asleep.” Bakugou said caressing his check. At the touch Hiroyuki let out the tears he’s been holding in.
“Its us isn't it?” He paused to look at you. “Me and my sisters… You had Kaori and me pretty young and you didn't really get to be young. You had all of us before you really got to live together just the two of you.. And Uncle Izuku and Auntie Urakara's relationship is doing fine even though they started to date around the same time as you, difference is they just started having kids like 4 years ago… Im 12 and Kaori is 13. So its us isnt?…” He said curling into himself.
“Kid, I'm not gonna lie to you, having you and Kaori at the ages we did was a nightmare. We were barely out of school, we lived with my parents for a while cause we didn't have jobs or a place of our own and even we did get one it was a shitty hole in the wall place but even at the young age of 19 we pulled our shit together and made it work so when you came a year later we were a lot more prepared. Yes we did miss out on a lot of things people our age did but we had you and Kaori and that was so much better than party’s and hangovers. Then we decided to have Kohana, Yoko, and Saiyuri and you all make us so happy. You all have nothing, not a damn thing to do with what's going on between me and y/n. If we ever made you feel like you did we didn't mean to. We love you so much and I am so sorry if we ever made it seem like it was your fault.” Bakugou said, eyes boring into Hiroyuki’s. Hiroyuki looked at you and you nodded to show you agreed with Bakugou.
“Don't ever forget how much we love you, okay? Now you should eat, we’ll get you anything you want.” You said wiping your tears with a smile.
“If it's not too much trouble, I want you and dad’s spicy pork curry and you guys should take some to the girls.” He said drowsily.
“But in order to make that we both would have to leave since it's a meal we make together… we couldn't leave you here alone.” You said mostly to yourself before any could say anything else a new voice was heard entering the room.
“You guys go talk and make him some food, ill stay with him. I didn't watch you guys terribly flirt and kiss everywhere just for it to end over some miscommunications.” Aizawa said as he took the seat next to Hiroyuki. Aizawa had remained close with a lot of students from 1A, becoming like a second dad but he had been extra close with you and Bakugou. When Kaori came into the equation he was like a nanny to her and it only increased when Hiroyuki was born, the two having a really strong bond so neither you or Bakugou was shocked he showed up.
“Okay, then old man. Watch my kid.” Bakugou said, grabbing your hand and pulling you away. You almost forgot what his calloused hand felt like. He drug you to his car and the car ride was mostly silent. The talking began when you began to cook in the house you used to share.
“Do you love me?” You asked as you cut pork
“Yes, I love you. I never stopped, I am in love with you y/n. Today I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.” He said slicing onions.
“Then why did you say that, say that you didn't love me.”
“Because I could see it, you don't look at me the same. We don't talk the way we used to. I don't want to string you along and make you hate being with me, because I love you more than life itself. And I was scared that one day you would wake up and you wouldn't need me and realize how easy it would be to leave me. That it would be my fault we ended because I was so focused on me I didn't see your pain. Scared that I would wake up and gaze into your eyes and find no love or joy in them. So I decided to let you go… I was thinking we just needed a break but you suggested a divorce and I agreed because I would do anything to make sure you keep that beautiful smile of yours. Even if you weren't smiling at me anymore… do you..” He said calmly, growing more emotional with each word.
“Yea, I never ever stopped. I was just tired, I am tired. But I want nothing more than for us to work… we can get through this, can't we?” You asked cautiously.
“Of course we can, we are Bakugous, we can do whatever the hell we want. And it will be different this time, we’ll talk about things and communicate better, I swear. I aint seeing a shrink though.” He said flicking water at you to make his last point more effective.
“Yes we are.” You giggled at him.
“No we aren't, you shitty dumbass. We don't need help, I can talk about my feelings without some dumb wanna be life coach.” He yelled as he began to wash the rice.
“Well we don't have to but I guess that means Zuku and Urakara have a better relationship than us since they go to counseling…” you trailed off with a shrug.
“Oh fuck you!” He roared at you, you giggled knowing he would now go. This was the most normal you felt in months, the happiest for sure. Just maybe things would be okay, and who were you kidding you could never fall out of love with the spiky haired explosion boy no matter what he did. It was toxic in a way but you could unpack that in the therapy sessions you were gonna force him to attend.
284 notes · View notes