#i suppose its only fair that im the one who gets haunted now huh

[stagenameouroborus]

something something how to leave quiet notes telling your friends that youre not quite okay but you're fine and dealing with it. wait a minute this isnt google. anyway

[naturallysuperbullshit]

S3 E13: Ghostfacers!

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GHOST! GHOSTFACERS! WE FACE THE GHOSTS WHEN OTHERS WILL NOT!

God I love these idiots

Ah there's the writer's strike callout that @marvel-and-moor told me about lmao

"Horrible horrors" jsjajajsjsj

I do love that Sam and Dean got put into the intro montage

THE FAKE SLOW-MO IM CACKLING

More unashamed racism during Spruce's intro, because we expect nothing less from the show at this point

Corbett just say you like geeky bears and move on

JFHHDDJHD THE GARAGE DOOR

So the boys really just drive around a haunted house that the cops apparently know people break into absolutely BLASTING music at top volume huh

"Not cops, just hicks" sjskdjkwkdndj what the fuck do you think hicks are what sort of definition are you going off of here

I love Corbett in full camo that's hilarious he really is doing THE most

Spruce said like a minute ago that hes mostly Jewish and then he makes a Hitler joke?????????? I'm not Jewish myself so I can't comment on if that's realistic or not but it seems really weird

I hate to say it but I really do believe that Ryan Bergara would get along famously with the Ghostfacers (Shane, on the other hand, would just be doing his best to fuck with Harry as much as possible, likely with Spruce's help)

Is Harry's EMF meter also made of a busted walkman? It's about the right size lmao

"Rats are like the rats of the world" sheer poetry

"Let's see some identification" sjdjsksjhs SAM

This episode really does prove that Sam and Dean swear exactly as much as you would expect them to. LET THE WINCHESTERS SAY FUCK!

"chisel chest" djkslakdjdn

The Ghostfacers have 0.5 of a braincell and it belongs exclusively to Spruce bc he's the only one paying attention to Sam and Dean

Corbett really is a "head empty, heart full" kind of twink huh

I do like this episode for the comedic value but damn SPN just cannot let go of "bury your gays" huh

"You got two months left" okay so it's been 8 months since Sam was shivved. Can we PLEASE show the passage of time on this show a little better!!!!!

"Does looking at this nightmare through that camera make you feel better or something?" "Um, well, I, um, yeah, I think so." "...oh." Jdjsjsks

STOP! SPLITTING! UP!!!!! MAGGIE COME ON YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST RATIONAL ONE AFTER SPRUCE!!!!!!!

It's always Sammy -shakes head sadly-

Aaaand now we see Dean's "im gonna MURDER" face

I don't need this weird C Plot of Maggie/Harry actually can we not

Dean is thisclose to just shooting Harry and Ed i think lmao

So the Ghostfacers really were planning to try and televise a brutal murder huh

Jdhdhdhdghs the party hat I cant get over Sam, bleeding and furious, but wearing a party hat

"Inside your duffel bag?????" I told you Spruce has the braincell

Ed is a misogynistic asshole but like we been knew

"I'm not gonna whine about my fucking problems to some fucking reality show. I'm gonna do my fucking job." This is what Dean is SUPPOSED to sound like and i thank this episode for giving us a glimpse of it

"Wow, you're strong" "-flips bird-" you know I almost had this exact same exchange a couple days ago, but i was at work and didn't wanna get fired

"How do you know this?" "'cause he told me." "Oh." Gotta love a mologuing ghost

"Aw hell guys, get in your ghost-role thing, something's coming." He sounds so bored jsjsjsnsnsn

"YOU GOTTA GO BE GAY FOR THAT POOR DEAD INTERN" Iconique

Why is Ed asking Corbett to help? I thought they were just trying to put hin to rest?

GHOST FIGHT GHOST FIGHT

Can we get Sam a moist towelette for his face pls

I like to think the paper Sam and Dean handed Ed wasn't a phone number, it just said "fuck off and stop looking for ghosts you absolute ASSHOLE"

"GAY LOVE CAN PIERCE THROUGH THE VEIL OF DEATH AND SAVE THE DAY" i👏con👏ic👏

"Its bizarre how y'all are able to uh, to honor Corbett's memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death, well done." Not only is this hilarious just bc it's true, but also Sam saying y'all sounds so weird for some reason

"Ghostfacers!" final thoughts: while this episode has its fair share of issues (outlined above), I do enjoy it. It's so different from all the other episodes, and it is genuinely funny. Plus, I'm one of those people who watches "ghost hunting shows" for shits and giggles, so this is right up my alley lmao.

[thecipherlegacy]

34 with Noshirr and Ari?

34: A pretend kiss.

So in case you were wondering, these two met through not great circumstances. Noshiirs ship had just been destroyed and he was being chased by bounty hunters. In an attempt to get away he hid amongst Ariannesses cargo. When he was found by her crewmate they immediately disliked him, assuming the worst of him, when in actuality he's just a sweet goof that needs a little help.

This one is a little silly but I enjoyed writing them pre-romance 💛

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arianness was annoyed. No, beyond annoyed. They were being chased by bounty hunters and for what? Some no-name Zabrak that stowed away on her ship? Luckily she had Chasaadia on board, having one strong bounty hunter to fight by her side would make this easier. But was this idiot really worth the trouble? His charm could only take him so far with the captain before she punched him. Oh and she was definitely ready to do that after all the trouble he's caused.

“Hey! Red!” She called as she allowed her Nautolan hunter to take control of the ship while they had a little talk. She found him elbows deep and covered in grease in the engine room. “Hey! What are you doing to my ship?!” The twi’lek shrieked and pulled out one of her blasters.

He quickly came up and threw his hands in the air. In one of them was a wrench. “It’s not what it looks like! I heard something rattling in there and noticed that your weapons system was a little busted. I’m just fixing it-”

She kept her blaster trained on the man and peered into his workspace. “Oh- yikes- I guess I hadn’t realized how hard a hit we had taken..” She holstered her weapon. “Thanks... I just came in here to tell you we’re touching down on Coruscant. It’s republic space so most bounty hunters won’t go there unless they’re gutsy…. Or invincible.”

Noshiir wiped off his hands on a cloth “Good I need to grab some parts for this if you don’t mind. I’ll buy ‘em since you’ve been putting up with me.” He told her with his usual charismatic smirk.

She had originally come in here with frustration and the intention of kicking him off her ship, but he was so willing to chip in. Currently, her crew consisted of an old imperial droid, Chasaadia, a tauntaun, and herself. Maybe another set of hands on the ship wouldn’t be so bad. “Alright. We’ll head into the shopping district, but you better behave yourself. If you don’t then you can find your own way off this planet."

Noshiir nodded "Noted." He replied "and look… I know you don't want me here… but thanks. I was pretty certain your guard dog was going to throw me out the airlock"

The pink twi'lek crossed her arms with a wicked grin "The night's still young, Red." She teased him.

"Hey now let's not do nothing hasty-" he replied with a nervous chuckle. "Ill show you that I'm worth keeping around" the wink he gave send a shiver down her spine, but she rolled her eyes anyway. He was a handsome zabrak, but also a very annoying one.

"We'll see about that, playboy."was her final response before leaving the room. Arianness rejoined Chasaadia up front and took a seat beside her. Coruscant was straight ahead.

"You hit him yet?" The nautolan asked. 

"Not yet. He was repairing a piece of my ship." Arianness replied as they entered the atmosphere. "But if he winks at me again I might."

Her friend laughed loudly at that. "At least let me be there for it. He stowed away on your ship, he deserves a little smacking around."

"Well, he's at least making himself useful now." The other sighed. 

The ship broke through the clouds and aimed for a landing pad. "So, while we're here I'm going to fuel up and go to the market with our stowaway. He said he'd buy some parts to fix our weapons system and I'm not about to deny free labor." 

"Fair. I guess I'm on guard duty with the Droid then?" 

As they made their landing the captain got back on her feet "Yes, and be nice to Toovee, you know how he gets." 

The wicked snicker she got in response wasn't inspiring in the least. When the bounty hunter spotted her captains pointed look she rolled her dark eyes. "What? It's funny" she argued as they touched down.

"Just… don't overload his circuits. You know how intimidated he is by you" Arianness groaned as she walked back out to join Noshiir by the airlock. "Ready?"

"Woo I get to take a walk with the captain!" He cheered "maybe I can finally have a chance to prove I'm not a liability to you"

She raised a brow at him and opened the door. "You have roped me into this bounty hunter chase. Youve already proven that you are a liability." She stated flatly. "But, I'm an optimist. You're willing to do some work around my ship and pay for it? I'll give you this single chance to earn my forgiveness" 

He watched the captain step put first. Noshiir wouldn't lie to himself. The captain was an attractive woman, and strong headed. He liked that. But she was also ready to throw him off her ship, so he wasn't about to press his luck with inappropriate flirtation. 

The trip to the speeder service was relatively quiet, until the zabrak insisted he pay for the ride, that was when Arianness spoke back up. "Alright I fold." She said. "Who are you and what have you done with the moronic stowaway I found on my ship."

He blinked at her. "Uh… well, technically your guard dog found me-"

"Stop calling Chasaadia that, she doesn't like it."

"Right, well. Anyway. Neither of you really sat me down to talk. I'm wanted for a reason. Some hutts put a bounty on my head a while ago." The mention of hutts caused the captains hands to ball into fists. "Not a fan, huh?"

"Im a twi'lek. You tell me." She muttered. There was a brief silence filled by the passing of other vehicles, then Noshiir spoke again.

"Sorry, I get that's a touchy subject. You'll be happy to hear that I'm on the bounty list because I freed a bunch of slaves and stole some rather valuable goods from the hutt."

She perked up and looked at him a moment. Her face stayed relatively neutral, what he assumed was her poker face, but her eyes were haunted. "Thank you." Was all she said before dropping the subject entirely. "We're almost there, we shouldn't have to worry about being attacked here so no need to be on edge unless you plan on doing something stupid" 

"I'm Wounded that you think so little of me!" Noshiir gasped dramatically as the speeder came to a halt. The twi’lek snickered and punched his arm. 

"Then prove me wrong, c'mon let's go." She jumped out of the speeder and started walking. Noshiir looked around as they walked to the starship vendor. 

"So… Anything you can tell me about yourself?" The zabrak bravely asked after a moment "or is it all hush-hush until I earn your trust?"

Arianness's lavender eyes glanced at him. "The Empire took something from me and I'm trying to get it back. That's about all you need to know for now." She said. They stepped up to the vendor before Noshiir could respond. He quietly picked out what he needed from their selection and paid the vendor. 

"A little pricey here, isn't it?" He sighed once they were walking away. 

"Well, its the capital of the Republic." The woman shrugged "not saying it's right, just saying that if there's one place thats gonna extort you for credits and call it 'just' its gonna be here."

He was a little surprised to hear that. So she seemed to care about the republic about as much as the empire. "So.. where does your loyalty lie?" 

Her shoulders seemed to heave in a sigh. "My family and crew. I couldn't care less about the war going on. Now come on, pick up the pace. Poor Toovee is probably blowing a gasket. He doesn't like being left alone with Chassy" 

Noshiir nodded, but was stopped in his tracks by a familiar young lady while his companion continued forward, none the wiser. "Noshiir! You did come back for me!" She squealed. He studied her face for a moment. Oh he definitely recognized her. He hadn't flirted with this woman, for once, she just became obsessed with him when he had stopped by to shop for gear at her booth a few times. 

"Well, actually I-"

"You don't have to say anything else! Oh I've missed you so much!" The woman was small but strong. "Now you can stay here with me like we planned!"

"We?-" he looked frantically for a way out of her death grip. Arianness had stopped ahead and looked back once she realized he was no longer with her. She spotted him and came back.

"This a friend of yours, Red?" She asked.

Upon seeing the captain the other woman's grip loosened. "Who's this, Noshi?" She demanded to know.

God how he hated that nickname. "This… is…" he looked at Arianness for a moment, then dared to pull her closer to him by her shoulder. "My wife!"

"What?!" Both women replied. The man's eyes screamed for help when he looked at the twi'lek again. She let out a frustrated breath and put on a fake smile. 

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting him to be so upfront about it. Yes I'm his wife." She lied. The girl looked heartbroken.

"How could you? We were supposed to be together!" She hissed.

"Sorry sister, you know what they say about… sparks and… stuff" the Twi'lek replied awkwardly. "Ready to go, husband?"

"Yes. Please let's go-" he pleaded. Arianness gave him a nod, then gasped when the smaller girl slapped the Zabrak. It was hard enough to make him stumble.

"You jerk! You just love to break hearts you soulless creep!" She snapped. Arianness couldn't quite understand her anger. Possibly because Noshiir had admitted to freeing slaves and has been showing how selfless he truly was today. Or maybe she just bought her own con a little too hard. 

She checked the spot on Noshiirs cheek and lay a gentle caring kiss on it, then she turned and punched the woman square in the nose. "Watch who you insult next time, got it?" She growled and started to lead her new crewmate away from the area before security got involved. 

Noshiir was in a daze, she kissed his cheek. It stung from the slap, but damn that tiny peck warmed his skin like no other woman ever had. "You kissed me-"

"Shut up."

"You stood up for me-"

"Shut up."

"You did something stupid for me!"

"Shut up!" The speeder took off and they could hear a commotion rising behind them. "Who was that girl exactly?" She finally asked as they got farther away.

"Some poor soul who fell in love with me I guess.. I just had to keep stopping by her vendor when I was here once. I didn't even try anything." He sighed. "Thanks for helping me out there, by the way… You're… a really great captain" Noshiir twisted the tip of his platinum ponytail between his fingers as he spoke. Was this what real infatuation felt like? He was normally the confident loudmouth, but not with her.

"Thanks." She gave him a smile "you're not so bad, yourself." She then stuck a hand out to him. "Welcome to the crew, partner. But, don't expect me to call you husband ever again."

The man chuckled and took her hand to shake it. "Thanks, honored to be part of it. And don't worry, I don't think i'll need a fake wife ever again."