#i think 16 is gonna be so good
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aight, aside from the fact that 3 houses by Dave Malloy is now gonna Haunt My Waking Thoughts For The Week...
nah, that's it. The only pandemic play I can get behind. Proper amount of drunken revelry, fantastic amount of fairytale allegory, Yes She Does Smoke Weed, vindictive dragon spirits and knockoff tom nooks, cairns of amazon boxes, The Ending, The Set, The Parallels...
and the wolf. Gods help me, but I wanna kiss the wolf on his broken-toothed maw. dance with him. ask him for a metal straw. I'd be a furry for that wolf in his stupid knit sweater.
(And then, the harmonieeeeees my love, they're so perfect and ugly and pretty and the genre shifts and and and)
#I can go on#pleaasee ask me to go on#everybody with the ability to get tickets see this show#Signature does student tix for like 16 bucks seriously#regular tix I think are pretty cheap for theater too#During work breaks my roommates just gonna hear a faint “me and my weed and my currant wine...” humming out of my bed#cast album isn't even on spotify yet I cry#it's so good you guys#it's so so so good like you have to understand#I'm shaking you by the shoulders and staring deep into your eyes with the deranged glint of a starving madman#you want to see this show#you need to see this show#the world around me is breaking and crumbling and burning#and I'm gonna be stumbling through its ashes in a daze thinking about the Fucking Spider Above The Cairn#The pigs will be breaking my and mine's bodies over their knee on the fucking “free speech lawn”#and I'll be in the corner thinking about Mr. Malloy's Use Of Polyphony#100 out of 10 would recommend#it runs through June please support good art#when the world is depressing this is the stuff that makes us remember the light#go see it#Dave Malloy#3 Houses#Three Houses#pandemic fiction#theater#musicals#If I have to start this fandom by myself I Will#“three strangers with their pinkies entwined...”#<3
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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Oda when I catch you Oda 🙂🔪
#egghead island#spoilers in tags#for todays ep#OP episode 1115#one piece 1115#yapping in tags#one piece#I am so fine and ok after todays ep#I am perfectly fine and good and dandy#trafalgar d water law#trafalgar law#winner island#polar tang#oh god I’m gonna cry cuz I keep thinking about#wolf one piece#and their departure from him in Law Novel ch7 with the ship and- UGH!#that was their home since they were 16#bepo one piece#aka the best and most dependable reliable amazing guy ever Bepo I love you#he made such a hard choice even though it was probably the smart one to protect his capitan/best friend but WOW he must be hurting#they balance each other out so beautifully I love their friendship#“I can’t leave my friends behind“ JUST FUCKING STAB ME IT WOULD HURT LESS#I can’t even- oh my god.#he loves them so much and he’s been fighting for the ability to love people like that for most of his life#please don’t let him lose that a third time#not when he just started trying to live for himself#I can’t even think about the other two of the OG 4 heart pirates#my only hope is that we saw how insane they are at swimming. and we never actually saw anyone get cut down - only the aftermath#I’m running out of tags so imma use this as a sign to draw my feelings instead of typing them.#me yapping
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transformers one 2nd trailer is out I have so much to say but like so much to digest rn im gonna pass out IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS MOVIE BROOOOOOO
#transformers one#sorry for anyone who has to deal with me up until september 20th#tf one trailer#OH MY GODFDDDDDDDD#tf one#maccaddam#maccaddams#transformers#rex rambles#THE FUCKING#ARACHNID AND ELITA FIGHT#AND THE WAVES#AND STARSCREAM#AND THE GORGEOUS ANIMATION#I dont think this movie is gonna end on a positive note im so fucking ready#THE FINGER JOKE AND THEN D-16 PUNCHING ORION OUTTA THE WAY IM LOSING IT#i really hope the humor is good but not overdone
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I'm gonna post this hopefully quickly and then go make bracelets to distract myself bc I wanna get it out but not have to come back to it later . And I will be whining about this on main a lot so I might as well give yall some context first
#i got soft fired.#they said it was bc summertime is slow and they dont have the hours for me#but they also said smth about my 3 month evaluation ? which i was not involved in but i felt like it implied something about my performance#but they didn't say it was about my performance not being good enough#and they also didn't say its just bc of the hours but you're a good employee so don't worry about that#they said they still might call me at some point if they have hours for me again#the words fired and let you go were not used#but. i stg they just hired a new froster. idk for sure but i thought they did#and one of the cashiers (the girl i know actually 😐) said she might get trained in frosting this summer#even tho by company policy youre not supposed to work in the kitchen if youre under 18. shes 16#but there was no warning or critiques or anything#there was when i first started#but not for a long time now#the manager gave me one note like 2 or 3 weeks ago and not since and that was the first time in a while#i had a panic attack when i got home#idk what im gonna do and idk what to think or feel about it rn#i just . yea#thats whats going on in my life lol anyway
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absolutely and wholeheartedly believe that bakugou is one of those metal drummers who adds in completely unnecessary metal math breakdowns at every opportunity
#he doesn't necessarily think about it in so many terms but he is one of those guys that's like yeah lets do a quick alternating bar of 2/8#and then 5/8 and then 5/16 and then 3/16 and then jirou is like STOP this is CLUB MUSIC we need FOUR ON THE FLOOR#not freakin metal math#and bakugou's like FUCK YOU I'M GONNA MELT THEIR FACES OFF#and jirou's like look. look. i too enjoy a good mosh pit. but that's not what we're going for here#fumikage tokoyami#bakugou katsuki#jirou kyouka#kaminari denki#tokoyami fumikage#yaoyorozu momo#i love this band i love them i'm obsessed with their dynamic#1a band#tt reads bnha
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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yesterday my history lecturer gave me a good grade and a really lovely comment about my assignment, and now ive just uploaded the worst essay ive ever written for her to read 😭 i feel so bad that she has to read this shit and i know im just gonna plummet in her estimation 😭
#throwing UP i hate myself#i do this everytime. this is the worst though#i was so out of my depth w this essay question and i literally didnt know which side i was gonna argue until like. four hours ago#and just ueah...............gonna be lucky if i get a 60 tbh#GOD#my heart is still THUMPING from submitting it at 16:58. and i didnt get to properly reread it or edit it#like thats how bad it is lmao#also skipped two lectures to write it 😭 im soo annoying like i only have myself to blame. GOD.#spent a good amount of time trying to get used to my uni's history department's#style of referencing bc it is. Unique#god i am so sorry dr [redacted]. please forgive me fr#okay i just checked and grammarly found 0 plagerism thank god BUT 108 WRITING ISSUES???? IM GONNA DIE#hopefully its like. mainly wanting to change words to the us spelling. gonna cry#or just trying to sell me its shitty service. anyway. time to do other stuff and not think about it until i have to get my grade#and have to look my lecturer in the eyes again.
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it'll all be okay because there's only one more day left in the school week and after that it'll be the weekend. wait no what do you mean after the weekend I'll just have to go back to school? what do you mean the cycle of going to school and coming back home completely worn out is gonna continue?
#mole talks#ive been back in school for..... one week.#im so tired i can't stop feeling tired all of the time now this is horrible#i have to walk around school so much and im forved to be around other people anf its just exhausting#for me school would be better if they removed all social aspects#and all you would have to do is work and you wouldn't have to see other people ever#(apart from the teacher who is teaching you about the subject)#because if theres no forced socialisation that also means....... my classmates would never be ableist towards me again#:[ i can't believe i have to continue going to school#and ill probably have to continue going for many years to come#i hate how much it wares me out. i was si productive during the summer but now im not at all#and i JUST started school. it only gets worse from here#i just wanna learn. i dont want some annoying kid to call me slurs#i dont want to wear a uniform that makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin#i dont wanna walk around the corridors feeling like everybody is staring at me and judging me#i dont want to go home feeling too weak and tired to do anything#i just want to learn stuff#i don't think i even really care about how going to school is good for my future because i don't know whats in the future for me#i just want to learn things in the present#:[#wow i have a lot of homework i need to do. i say i don't mind the work but i haven't finished all of this yet so maybe im just lying#im gonna cry. i dont want to go back to school tomorrow i dont want to be surronded by people who hate what i am#but also i dont want the teachers to infantalise me anymore! im not a kid. im 16. treat me like everybody else im not a kid#why am i crying into the tumblr void again
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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hi guys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. sorry i just thought about the passage of time
#i just keep thinking about the past and the future and mostly the past#especially 2022 because i was 15 mostly. for most of that time. or barely 16#idk 2022 was so eeeasyyyyy so little pressure. i think i am building it up in my head a bit much though i've seen my google docs from those#times. there was a lot of optimism for the future cause nothing was going on in my present LMAO. but that in itself was kind of peaceful#like idk i feel like in 2022 and years before I would get sooo INTO things . which hasn't really properly happened 4me since adventure time#it was my own personal adventure time renaissance#i know there was a big resurgence when fionna and cake released but ehhh. u know. whatever. ehhhhh#golden times for me was like ~nov of 2022 because I was in a massive slump before that irt drawing and it pulled me out of it a bit#and then also the time right BEFORE f&c released & everyone i knew or knew of was active but also people weren't reallyyy talking about f&c#they were just kinda talking about regular adventure time. and the stuff everyone wanted to see in relation to the non genderbent character#that was a good time#anyway sorry for being wistful about the past. it will happen again.#but the past has already happened and it will never happen again#and also theres way more exciting stuff for me in future#not just the general idea of it even. it's just that theres stuff thats gonna happen this year that im looking forward to#i think its just easier to think about fun stuff from the past than stuff im looking forward to cause waiting sucks#and you dont have to wait for stuff that has already happened#i should go to bed#i typo'd 'too' instead of 'to' without realising TWICE i REALLY should go to bed
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feeling better now I spent like 2 hours browsing fragrantica and found samples of a few intriguing ones on lucky scent + it's my payday tomorrow so I'm going to treat myself to that :3
#so desperate to find smth with a good tomato vine note so i can always have her around... i miss the tomato soap i used to have soooo bad#every time i hydrolyse oil at work (like. weekly) it torments me bc fresh out of a 16 hr incubation it has this lush green tomato smell#so im reminded of it super often..... anyway im still working thru these fancy deodorant balms i got gifted and the most recent one-#has a tomato note its rly gorgeous i think possibly my fave of them so far. might see if i can get a bigger tube of it hmm#ive been using a harsher black pepper/vetiver one bc i need smth stronger in this sweaty weather but forgot how effective the balms are#and how yummy and subtle they smell.. wouldnt it be nice to smell like that all the time ahh..#but yes ill wait in case my roomie wants any samples too so we can split shipping. summer of me smelling nice <3#also gonna try the demeter tomato one n maybe dirt or earthworm too..not sure id use them alone as perfume but maybe to stim#lucky scent doesnt have them tho sadly.. but i shall find elsewhere#i would LOVE a summer fragrance that was kind of loamy/earthy like rich wet soil but with buddleia notes. but i cant find anything-#in that kinda area on fragrantica sadly. just very specific nostalgic smell for me probably my top 5 smells ever#most stuff w buddleia is super floral n has so many other notes that throw me off from the description#ANYWAY.. i need to sleeeep#goodnight <3#.diaries
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Gonna also get my license soon. This time for real.
Need to find that sheet of the driving times... hmmm
#speculation nation#gonna get some more practice to increase my comfort but im generally a good driver already regardless#i just need to have the damn driving log sheet#which ive never actually filled out but certainly i have enough experience#(never recorded anything bc my dad told me from the start aka fresh 16 year old that he cared more about ability than experience#so even if i didnt log as many hours as required if he felt like i was ready then he'd have me take the test.#this makes more sense when U know he was a UPS driver so he was all about driving safety above all else.)#so. im just gonna make some shit up. but i need the sheet to do so lol.#if i cant find it maybe i'll go on campus and print one out. i think i can still do that even tho im in an online class rn#worth a try at least. if not then Uhhhh i guess i could try to buy a printer lol. probably would be good for me to have one#and they cant be That expensive can they...??#oh well i'll try the school first. if i cant locate it in my apartment that is. idk i'll just have to see.#either way im gonna get my license soon bc i dont wanna be stuck without easy transportation again#now that i no longer have a girlfriend to drive me places :p ya kno#i want the freedom. and this time for sure im gonna actually do it.
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20 & 21 for the Durge asks, pretty please?
hello dear spite!!! thank you for the ask 🖤
20. Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?
Aune is not even remotely open about her Urge, but she's not so good at hiding it either. She tries to keep it a secret as she's terrified and deeply ashamed of it. However, in her panicked fear of not understanding her lack of memories or her violent urges, she asks nearly all of her companions about advice on the subject. (Oops.)
When confronted, Aune successfully convinces the others that she had nothing do with Alfira's death. (Well, everyone except for Astarion... 😏) When she kicks the squirrel to death just mere HOURS after they discover the bard's body, it becomes a bit more difficult to explain away. It's pretty much common knowledge amongst the group after the Grove massacre, but it is officially confirmed for the companions once they arrive at Moonrise.
21. What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?
You've unleashed the beast with this question because I love collecting my little songs and making my little playlists
The number one Aune song of all time is Carrion Comfort by aeseaes:
wring the world black / springs on my back / teeth tearing at the skin
bleeding a blundering mess / beetles and worms in his chest
sorry seeder / bottom feeder / nipping at what ankle's left
all you wanted was a little taste / won't let a single sinew go to waste
you should stop, you know, you know you should / but nothing else could make me feel this good
voices howling and it's out of control / until you're nothing but an animal
carrion comfort me
The Usher by Subrosa is a good that describes her relationship and perspective on death:
all of my life I've been waiting for you
with open arms, I'll come running towards you
you're supreme, immutable, unchanging
you're never failing through the ages
you're more constant than the stars / because they change their paths with the seasons
you're more constant than the moon / because she hides her face in the shadows
you're more constant than the sun / because one day her embrace will melt the earth
you're more constant than the gods / because sometimes when we call, they don't answer at all
all in all, we end the same
When That Head Splits by Esben and the Witch is a bit of a nebulous choice, as it's a vision into the future for Aune - what things might look like if she succumbs/accepts the Urge
alone she sits, a silent voyeur / kneeling naked at the altar
while ants clamber over the / petrified hand of her neighbor
there is a bulb inside her head / where once there was a brain in place
a clod with roots, a ball of string
that's full of love and lycorine
when she grows numb / set by the sun
she will become / part of the kingdom
#(I have a playlist for her that has 16 songs in it atm. believe it or not that is IMMENSELY little on my part because#I narrowed it down as sharply as I could. I deserve a prize)#one word to summarize her playlist: Pain#aldkfjd;lfkj#I have a good one lined up for how I think she will be post-game but because Idk how her story will end yet I can't share it#I was gonna include my honorable mentions but it was literally 8 songs LOL so I stopped myself#oc: durge!aune#durge spoilers
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Why'd no one but these annoying Star Wars tiktok guys tell me about Legends Aurra Sing
New blorbo just dropped send help
She's ex-Jedi too, Star Wars 1998 was just made for me huh
#i'm obsessed#star wars canon we had a good ride but I think it's over#sill gonna keep reading high republic tho#the quinlan and dathomir parts were meh and I did not read the first 16 issues that also have aurra but I'll get there#aurra sing#stasr wars legends#star wars 1998#she's so shaped!#started reading for aayla stayed for other women isn't that gay of me#star wars comics
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Pros to ffxvi:
-gay party member
-pretty game
-combat is brilliant
-apparently the thesis of the game is about different kinds of love, which is an idea I really like bc I love love
Cons to ffxvi:
-my friend said he skipped over half the cutscenes in the demo bc it felt like the kind of fantasy novel that feels vaguely racist but you can't quite pin down why, and he didn't even know about the shit yoship said about not having black people in the game for "historical accuracy"
-same friend (who is straight) said it's excruciatingly heterosexual & very vanilla with its approach to writing both the romance & the plot
-i personally think the character designs are a HUGE step back from the often costume & musical performance-inspired characters of literally every other ff game except maybe 12, 11, and 14. (Yes im including 1-5. Look at the art for them. They're super glam rock (not quite as glam rock as 6 but still) and even the designs that aren't have a certain flair and grace to them!!!) And those games still have like, queer vibes & at the very least dont feel basic as fuck
-my mother (who loves hallmark) says the characters look and feel like a bunch of hallmark actors (this was an insult, she was clear about that)
-the shit that yoship said about "historical accuracy" and the pervasive whiteness of everything I've seen in the game
-no turn based elements at all ;_; but that's a super personal criticism
-no lesbians :( (though this was expected and also an extremely personal criticism)
-potentially no chocobos?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
#ffxvi spoilers#final fantasy 16 spoilers#i really dont think im gonna play it#makes me sad#ive been disappointed since rhe first trailer tbh because the art direction felt so BORING#i was cautiously optimistic that maybe it was just bc new trailer blah blah#but the more ive seen the more disinterested ive been which is sad for me bc i love almost every ff game#i get that theyre like trying to make it as dissimilar to 15 as possible but they decided to go about it in the most uninspiring uncreative#way possible. unfortunately. also like whats up with the racism shit#like why#why did they think that was a good move or even like an ok move#whats the point#it does nothing but make me think poorly abt yoship and the art directors#terrible move#makes the game bland as hell#a lot of these points are extremelt shallow (except the racism thing) but idgaf this is my post make ur own if u disagree
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