#i think i have 6 weeks for his banner so yknow

[homoeroticvillain]

im so hyped for scara banner that its unhealthy

[inventors-fair]

Ride off into the Sunset: Power of Friendship Commentary

I don't have much to say this week, but lotsa cool cards! thanks again to everyone for putting their all into this silly little contest. I'll see y'all in a few weeks!

~judge @naban-dean-of-irritation

Abraham Desjardins by @bergdg - The Reckoners

An archenemy product like you mentioned alongside the submission would be neat, but if I get into the logistical implications of that I wouldn’t have any room left for commenting on the card. Abraham here is pretty simple- a nice throwback to the battlebond usage of “team”, though in this case you could just say “target creature your team controls”. Abraham’s character seems to boil down to “heavy weapons expert”, which I feel like comes across well here. He arms himself or other characters, and is willing to get his hands dirty, too. I honestly wonder if this might be a bit too much for a partner commander? The vigilance means you can attack and fight every turn cycle, plus the scaling buff (a small one, but still). However, I can’t really say for sure without playing with it. Altogether, fun and flavorful card, but maybe could’ve been a bit narrower.

Batman, Caped Crusader by @hypexion - DC Comics

Batman 1 of 2, both with Hero/Sidekick. There are obvious similarities between the two, but hey, Batman is a well established character. I like the idea of Batman being a toolbox commander, but a lack of repeatable tutor like Zur the Enchanter is probably good. Free playing cheap stuff as a combat trick is quite fun, especially since there’s some decently impactful auras at that cost. At four mana, though, I don’t even think you need the two mana in the ability cost. As it is, it’s kinda just a worse version of giving your artifacts and Auras flash, since you can only do it once per turn cycle. Also, given the flavor, I almost wish it was Equipments instead of all artifacts, and then came along with an attachment clause, though it would be tricky to make that wording smooth. The Sidekick clause is also interesting here- assuming sidekicks are mono-color, this means that you can’t actually have any 4 or 5 color partner decks, which might be for the best. Plus, it creates a pretty clear power structure between them, with sidekicks clearly being a support elements. All in all, neat card, and a good snapshot of Batman.

Batman, Dark Knight by @genericaura - DC Comics

Number two! Also dealing with his utility belt (because, yknow, duh), but taking it in a much different direction. It’s a bit of a hefty paragraph there, but ultimately you can stack these equipments onto your commander to have vastly increased combat flexibility. The power buff isn’t huge, but it’s also not nothing after a few turns. Flying and first strike are definitely good abilities both flavorfully and mechanically, but repeatable indestructible definitely seems like it could get annoying. For five mana, it’s probably worth the investment, but it also seems unlikely that you’d ever pick anything else, and just save up the equipment for cheating death. My last quibble is with the equip cost. Three mana is pretty steep for an admittedly minor effect- I think I would rather see it lowered if the intention is to be able to shuffle them around, or just remove the equip cost entirely if they’re meant to stay on the commanders.

Bruce Banner // The Incredible Hulk by @squeezyboi - Marvel Comics

I’m going to address the Hulk in the room first- as written, Avengers is not a functional ability. Going by even the smallest team size, and assuming this is a small product and not a full set, that’s a minimum of 6 commanders. Even if they all suck, that’s lowering your deck size by a not-insignificant amount, which helps a lot with consistency. However, there are easy ways to tweak that, so let’s look at the rest of the card. Exploring is definitely a different flavor here than on ixalan, but it’s a cute way to show his isolated wandering. Life and damage increments are numerals, so “3 or more life”, but the transform condition is the right cost and again flavorful- he transforms when you get hit/when he gets mad. The back face abilities need a bit of modal templating, but they’re pretty cool, and well costed given the hoops you have to jump through. All in all, this is a pretty neat card, apart from the rework needed on the Avenger ability itself.

Cat Master Joe by @wolkemesser - King City

Adding a pool of unrestricted commanders that were not previously designed to be commanders (or partners) is a dangerous game to play, but cheap cats is... fine? probably? I’m honestly more concerned about what this says about what the rest of the set would look like. What really gets me here is the four-color cost, and how that interacts with the Cat Master ability. There’s no real reason for black to be here (though it does match with the character), but regardless of whether you can use it to add blue, it just seems like this card doesn’t really scream partner to me. Sure, it’s nice to have a cat just chilling in the command zone for a guaranteed play, but the card just wants to be generally cat typal. All in all, the design feels a bit unfocused, and I think each element on its own is neat, but they don’t mesh with each other very well.

Cornelia, War-Princess by @helloijustreadyourpost - Code Geass

Vehicles are a popular choice this week, and honestly, it makes a lot of sense. There’s lots of person-vehicle partners in popular media, and they lend themselves well to evocative designs. Cornelia is simple, but straightforward and aggressive, which fits well with how she’s represented. I honestly don’t know if the once per turn is necessary? If you have ways to untap her, you kinda deserve to double dip on the anthem. At least, that’s my thoughts on it. However, there’s a bit of a sticky rules issue here- as written, it seems to imply that Vehicles that haven’t been crewed yet will benefit from the buff, which will be present as soon as they come online. And I.... don’t think that’s how it works? On the battlefield, uncrewed vehicles don’t have power and toughness, so I don’t think they can benefit from the buff. Counters are a different matter since they can just apply when the Vehicle animates, so if that’s what you’re looking for, might be better to balance around a permanent buff.

Falco, Ace Wingman by @arixordragc - Star Fox / Smash Bros

Another fast and aggressive Vehicle pilot- can Falco fly on his own in the games? I mean, I know he’s usually in a ship, but I wonder if it would be worth it to give him flying on his own. The ability is fine and simple, perfect for an uncommon commander. Hero/Sidekick is apparently a pretty common naming convention this week, which makes sense, but... I would argue that Falco is a sidekick in this scenario? Unless you’re going for a Smash Bros style Fighters/Assist Trophies thing, in which case it kinda makes sense. I guess he is sorta a secondary protagonist rather than a side character, but eh. Not much else to say, deserves another point of power or some evasion, though you’ll wanna use him for crewing more than anything.

Fourth Syllable by @stupidstupidratcreatures - Kill Six Billion Demons

Yowza. This one sent me on a DEEP dive to figure out the mechanics behind the magic system at play here, and... this is definitely a really cool way to represent it, but would there only be seven “partners” in this case? The “or planeswalker” is clever bit of informative reminder text there, though typically WOTC avoids planeswalkers in UB products. As for the card itself, it’s interesting that it’s not restricted by casting your commander like Oathbreaker, but rather scales in a way that makes it useless if you cast it first. It’s a neat concept for sure, but... this is WEAK. Even with a two-mana commander, which is pretty damn cheap, this is asking for a 13 mana investment to... scry 3. The threshold effect is nice, but we’re talking about huge amounts of mana for a pretty weak draw spell. And again, that’s with a very cheap commander already. The scaling effect is quite neat, but definitely needs to be managed slightly differently.

Lift, Defiance Incarnate by @mmmmmin - Stormlight Archives

I definitely laughed at that epithet, cause “defiance incarnate” sure does sum it up nicely. Interestingly, hybrid cards are usually chock full of color pie breaks, but the biggest issue here would be red caring about food- and even that’s a bend, since it’s neither making it nor cares about gaining life. Radiant/Spren is a pretty natural pairing to make for this contest, so I’m not surprised a few people landed on it, but your restriction of color identity is a very nice touch. Would Spren in this case all be mono color, or would there be 2c ones that just have to match with the exact right pair? Anyways, this could make for a nasty voltron commander with the right setup. 2 commander damage starting turn 1 is nothing to sneeze at, and with some food generation, the built-in protection is quite nice. Definitely depends on the rest of the pool, but the design here is pretty solid. My only concern would be that it feels like it’s asking for a very specific partner here, since I assume most of the Spren wouldn’t be making food, except for a very particular one. Ultimately, it would be tricky to have a Radiant/Spren pool that isn’t just cleverly disguised “Partner With”, so that’s something to watch out for.

Lord Xykon, Spiteful Lich by @just--a--penguin - Order of the Stick

With another common (and sensible) pairing of Boss/Subordinate, Lord Xykon does all the lich things you want him to do. Phylactery? Check. Sacrificing minions to fuel his zombie army? Sure, why not. Honestly, I don’t have too much to complain about this card. The phylactery effect is something we’ve seen on a few cards already, and it’s quite flavorful. One qualm with the sacrifice ability is that I reckon it shouldn’t be optional; if you have a non-Zombie creature, you should be forced to sacrifice it. The other part, as I’ve commented on other cards, is that it feels like Boss/Subordinate should have some sort of hierarchy, or mechanic to show off the big dog. I’m thinking of something similar to how Backgrounds don’t actually function unless you control your commander. Then again, Doctor’s companion works similar to what you have here, so this is probably just a me thing.

Mordecai, Cunning Sniper by @nicolbolas96 - Borderlands

Okay, having a spotlight effect on a sniper is really clever, and I’m honestly surprised that this hasn’t been done yet. However, it does run into a bit of an issue with the second ability that would likely be confusing for a lot of players: Mordecai will be able to target something with protection from blue/black, but he won’t be able to damage them. It definitely throws up a weird flag. The other aspect of this is that the damage rate is really good. This is a combination of Niv-Mizzet and Nekusar, despite being cheaper than both, and with more flexibility in what he can target. At four mana, this would make for a really oppressive commander, let alone with a partner alongside. Imagine if there was a Vault Hunter that drew you cards, which I imagine there would be. On a different note, Vault Hunter is a clever and straightforward way of avoiding 4-5 color soup. Outright banning it means you can have two and even three-color partners without worrying about the potential pairs, and it also means you can even plan around partners that would never be able to pair with each other.

Patches the Hyena by @0woah - Dark Souls

He sure do skulk, huh. Anyways, Patches is definitely neat, but there’s a lot going on with him, and he’s trying to pull in more directions than a partner commander really should. You can’t really rely on opponents to have enough equipment to make the tap ability a kill shot, which means you want to be targeting yourself for that part. In fact, those abilities are generally just scaled off of you automatically, though I suppose the choice makes it a bit more interesting? Additionally, an equipment theme with a skulk commander feels weird, unless most of the equipment in the set don’t give power buffs. It’s still a cool card, and does do some fun work with saboteur effects, but I’m having a hard time thinking of a pool of effects that would synergize nicely with him while still being general enough to match the rest of the pool.

Pattern, Seeker of Lies by @certification-wizard - Stormlight Archives

Templating nitpick up first- watch the order of your mana symbols on the bestow. Speaking of, bestow is a really cool way to represent spren, beings which are kind-of people and kind-of slivers of power that offer abilities through their bond. Being able to act as an aura or on their own matches well with their existence. As for the main ability, you don’t need to worry about flash since the ability allows you to cast immediately, which ignores timing restrictions. It also makes for a bit of an interesting build around, since you kinda want to know what’s in their hand first so you can plan your mana around it. My main nitpick is that this is a pretty brutal effect to be on an attack trigger, with a resilient body that can survive a boardwipe. I would make it a combat damage trigger, and probably also pump up the bestow cost a bit- remember, bestow gives you the aura and also the creature when the creature it’s enchanting dies, so you’re paying for the benefit of a second use.

Pikachu, Paradise Builder by @dravidious - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon

Pokemon! Everyone’s favorite! Well, it’s a spinoff, but hey. Mystery dungeon lends itself very well to mix-and-match partners, since, you not only get to “choose” what pokemon you are, but also what pokemon your partner is. Human Pokemon is also a weird enough typeline that it basically future-proofs itself, which is also nice. My one concern here is with pokemon being a type; that means that every single creature card in this product would be a pokemon, which makes for some strange typelines and probably weirdness with typal effects. Also, a generic 1/1 white pokemon token just feels... odd. I have no idea what pokemon it’s supposed to represent. Maybe that’s the point, but Pokemon sorta hinge on their individuality and their colorful designs, so genericizing them feels like it goes against that a bit.

Qiffrey, Patient Mentor by @batatafilosofal - Witch Hat Atelier

Professor and Apprentice is another take on the hierarchical partner pair, and honestly one that could work with a lot of different media, which is cool. Forgive me if I’m being blunt, but this card... is just Veyran, Voice of Duality. Take away the prowess, add Professor, and remove a color. It just doesn’t feel like a particularly original design, since we’ve seen this exact ability before. There is some depth to it given that it has partner, since your Apprentice could potentially have a magecraft-esque ability to take advantage of, but still. Feels like it wanted to be a bit more of an individual design.

Samus, Chozo’s Legacy by @misterstingyjack - Metroid / Smash Bros.

The big crossover Smash Bros IP you described seems very fun, though admittedly I am curious about which characters would get the honor of being player one, and which ones would be player two. Making Samus care about noncreature spells is interesting? I don’t necessarily see the connection there, but flavorfully, it works. It’s also a huge chunk of text for an admittedly simple ability, but I wonder if there’s any way some of the fat could be trimmed off. Also, since this can only happen once per turn, it feels weird that this will never kill anything with more than 1 toughness? Might be worth having it scale to the number of aim counters so that there’s an incentive to stack them up on one particularly nasty thing.

Shallan Davar by @fractured-infinity - Stormlight Archives

So I almost deleted this entry by accident because I thought it was a resubmission, heh. Good thing I didn’t! Phasing in is something that we’ve seen a bit of a resurgence on, and it’s a great way to represent these temporary illusions. The combat damage trigger is admittedly a bit odd, but it makes sense to give her a way to phase herself out so that she can pick up a new thing to copy. Radiant/Spren mashup makes a lot of sense, so no commentary there. Altogether, it makes for a cool card, and does seem like a good generic partner, without being too crazy strong on its own.

Shallan, Lightweaver by @aethernalstars - Stormlight Archives

Shallan no. 2, with a different take on the Illusion and cloning aspect. This leans more into disguising other things rather than disguising herself, but the Illusion tag is a clever way to be able to see what she’s copied. Stormlight tokens are interesting, but I don’t really see a format where they’re super helpful, unless it’s a multicolor soup-bowl of goodstuff. Especially when it comes to partner pairs, where you’re likely never exceeding three colors between the two, color fixing just seems unnecessary. Nahel Bond is a more clever and clinical way of going about the Radiant/Spren thing, while also allowing it to extend to some of Sanderson’s other books. The lack of sharing a creature type is also good, since it means two Radiants can’t just decide to pair up, though it does mean a careful cultivation of the secondary types for everything in this pool. 

Shinji Kaminaga by @eveydeevey - Shin Ultraman

Okay, so the idea of feeding one commander into the other in order to power it out is fantastic. I love it, and I think there could be a lot of fun to be had there. But 7 mana? Even with Human Offering, that implies that the Ultra Heroes are gonna be crazy expensive cards, otherwise Shinji offers little to no benefit. Additionally, it feels kinda boring that this is all that Shinji does? Like, give me a reason to keep him out on the field for at least a little bit. This also doesn’t tell me anything about what other Ultra Hosts might look like. They’ll probably all have Rise, since it wouldn’t make sense to keyword it otherwise, but will they all just be off-color versions of Shinji? Or will they do their own things, in which case one of them might have made for a better example this week. All in all, this hints at some great ideas that you had here, but doesn’t actually show me any of them.

Shirou Emiya by @curiooftheheart - Fate/Stay Night

Master/Servant is a neat dynamic, and has a clever way of excluding changelings so as to keep the pool to the (assumably) unique creature type. The rest of Shirou is pretty straightforward, caring about equipment in a fairly general way. But uh... what the heck is a command seal? Is it a counter? An emblem? Is this a threshold mechanic, a scaling mechanic, or a resource mechanic? I’m left with a lot of questions, and I kinda wish I saw something that utilised these command seals, or at the very least had some reminder text explaining them. Online searches described them as “manifestations of a master’s control over their servant”, which makes sense, but it still raises more questions that the design unfortunately doesn’t answer.

Suletta Mercury by @bread-into-toast - Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

Gundam is about as classic as you can get with “person pilots big vehicle/robot that is reflective of their personality”, so creature/vehicle pairings is definitely a good call. The ability is definitely a funky one. Vehicles have lots of triggered abilities, and most of them are things you want to double up on whenever possible. I’m curious if the top ability is one that all Pilots will have, or if it’s unique to Suletta and/or a smaller subset of commanders. It could be interesting, but it also means that the Mobile Suit crew costs would have to scale appropriately to make the power feel more like an actual decision again. It is neat to add another variable to tweak though, since you could have a pilot that has much weaker abilities, but is guaranteed to crew any mobile suit in the pool.

Sword and Shield by @deg99 - Monster Hunter

This is the only equipment commander we’ve seen, and Monster Hunter is a great pick for it given the intense focus on gear and improving it. Experience counters also seem like an interesting throughline for the weapons and/or hunters, since it’s a good way of indicating progression and growth. However, I don’t know if this was the strongest example of what you could have shown here. The ability is worded a bit awkwardly, since the first clause is just giving you permission to do something you can already do, and the secondary clause is very narrow. Also, it took me a couple rereads to confirm whether the ability cared about the spell’s mana value or the targeted creature’s. It’s cool, and I love the idea of hunters who gain experience and weapons that make use of it, but this specific example is a bit clunky. Also, consider making it cheaper, since a 6 mana investment for the equivalent of a 1-mana aura definitely hurts.

Tai, Light of Courage by @horsecrash - Digimon

Okay, so it took me a while to pick up on the implication you were going with here, that Digivolve counts as a variant of mutate. I do understand the need to stay true to the source material, but typically mechanic variants have some sort of commonality with the name to make sure the connection is understood. I can see a lot of folks getting confused about this initially. As for Tai himself, it’s a strong but simple ability, especially since he probably drops before your Digivolve commander, meaning they’ll have the abilities right when you play them. Haste is a bit of a strange choice, since mutating won’t cause summoning sickness unless the mutate target also entered on the same turn. Not a huge issue, more of a nitpick than anything. 

[tartagliaxx]

hi. i only got to play in inazuma today so here's me live reacting to the archon quest. it's a lil out of context tho so have fun trying to figure out which parts im talking abt. also, this is the only time i'm going to be talking abt spoilers for at least one week so... 🤷‍♀️

swordfish ii? cute.

Jesus Christ. and here i thought it was my lowest settings that made his hair grey… this poor kid. teppei i admire your determination but no… just no...

SCARAMOUCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IF EVIL WHY SO HOT

you know.... scaramouche could stand still and the air would get electrified. and yknow,,, that's p... that's p attractive

ugh im disgusting myself. and here i thought i still had an inch of sanity left in me.

of all people it had to be this little jerk

scaramouche is so fucking evil. i’d like ten of him, please.

man,, they expect me to dodge this shit? that’s the biggest l i’ve heard today. none of that shit. i’m bringing out my zhong and my sweet madames skrrt

sayu is adorable… i remember when i had hopes of growing up too… alas, it has come to this.

OH MY GOD AYATO CRUMBS. I AM LICKING THAT SHIT UP. PLEASE— HE HAS A SECRET UNIT. THATS SO HOT WTF. AYATO MY DEAR, PLEASE DONT BE A REGULAR ICKY NPC BUT WHITE HAIRED…

SNEAKY SNEAK. SNEAKY SNEAK.

THOMA OH MY GOD MY MALEWIFE. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? also, sayu’s sleeping again. this girl’s got talent. is her circadian rhythm okay?

pains me to be the bearer of all bad news and no good news…

WAIT THOMA IS LEAVING NO DONT LEAVE YET I WANT TO LOOK AT YOU MORE

oh nvm he’s still in the background.

EYY WHATS UP AYAKA. YOU’RE AS FINE AS EVER.

i… i don’t like where this is going… i refuse to be the bait. i’m too hot for that. so spicy they’ll spit me right out

DONT VOLUNTEER YOURSELF LUMINE— GIVE ME AN OPTION OR AT LEAST AN ‘OH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN’ LINE

YES FIREWORKS THAT WOULD WORK RIGHT? PLEASE TELL ME THAT WOULD WORK-

oh thank god… wait... they… they wouldn’t ask me to be the one to set off the fireworks right?

UNFORTUNATELY NO. AFTER YOU BECOME A FREE MAN, YOU’RE IMMEDIATELY MARRYING ME THOMA ANJKFHAIGHLANGKLAHOFJLKAB

oh crap… i’m… i’m in deep.

HE’S BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING US AGAIN EVERY DAY SINCE HE GOT THERE ANFLaglvbajlfblabvljabefva;bfalLJBLJDABVBAALSNADL tumblr user @tartagliaxx is broken. she is now irreparable. she has no regrets. goodbye.

ehem… what if… you and i… and hotsprings… together?? JUST KIDDING. PG-13 OVER HERE. NOTHING INDECENT WHATSOEVER MOVE ALONG NOW

poor thoma,,,

oh come on ayaka… cut us some slack… i just watched lumine wheeze bc of evil purple mist only to be dragged into 2 timeskips and an entire training arc. dont let her be yet another traumatized shounen manga protagonist… altho, it might be uh… too late for that…

oh dear… is thoma going to get another round of diarrhea?

OF COURSE. OF COURSE IT’S ME DOING ALL THE WORK. OF COURSE IT’S ME WHO’S RISKING MY LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN. GOD! GIVE LUMINE A BREAK. BEING A TRAVELER DOES NOT MEAN IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE.

hello yoimiya… still looking as bomb as ever i see……… mhm… gonna see myself out rn…

HELP MY SHITTY GRAPHICS COMPLETELY ERADICATED HER BROWS

oh god… are we dying because of fireworks? forget getting caught by the patrol… we’re about to light up an untested firework that was made to be a billion times more explosive….

NO. SHE SAID IT. SHE SAID THE CURSED SENTENCE. WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? IDK YOU TELL ME. YOU JUST SENTENCED US TO DEATH YOIMIYA GREAT GOING still love you tho.

man… these patrol guards aint shit… i literally walked an inch behind their backs and they did nothing… its a surprise the rebellion still hasn’t won when they place guards like this in their ranks………. ok that was kinda mean i’ll apologize in a bit.

SAYU OMG… DONT WORRY I’LL SNEAK YOU OUT AND RISK MY LIFE willingly JUST TO RESCUE YOU. ILYSM HONEY YOU’RE DOING SO WELL

no, paimon. it’s not but we’re doing it anyway 🤡

NO ONE TOLD ME WE’RE GOING TO RUN. I WENT COMPLETELY OFF COURSE. first try tho 😏

HELLO THOMA. HELLO AYAKA.

HELLO SAYU. HOW DID IT GO? IM GUESSING IT WENT WELL BC YOU’RE STILL ALIVE?

oh no….. she’s worn herself out…. man,,, this is why you dont make convicts out of kids….

WE ASKED SAYU FOR AN INCH AND SHE GAVE AS TEN THOUSAND MILES. SAYU MY CHILD YOU EXCEED EXPECTATIONS

god, don’t remind me. as hot as the shogun trying to kill us w her blade was, i don’t appreciate almost getting murdered on screen (even if we most certainly have plot armor)

awwww is thoma worried about me uwu owo? dw i have like… a lumine w 6% crit rate by my side

sigh… i dont want to leave yet… cant i just stay by thoma’s side and not go to war for a change?

it was at this moment that tumblr user lei saw the wonders of being a housewife.

oh sara… my stars… i’m so sorry. i feel so bad for you but at the same time… this oddly makes me want to write a song for you ABJFJKABJABCABVABVKA I KNOW JACK SHIT ABT SONGWRITING WHY AM I THINKING LIKE THIS

well… there she goes…

oh…. oh….. yae is stealing my heart. WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO (i have an alt for a reason heehee)

DEAR LORD. PLEASE STEP ON MY NECK SARA.

these guys got guts to say ‘i’m sorry ma’am’ to THE kujou sara.

oh old man… you’re dead. you’re so dead.

man… this old man is a simp? sheesh.

YES. GO TELL EM PAIMON. PREACH THAT SHIT LOUD AND CLEAR.

oh my god… is that dude dead? i probably should’ve uh apologized b4 he flopped down to the ground ig…

MAN,, SARA’S DOWN FOR THE COUNT?? tbf i didnt expect much but…. also, AYE SIGNORA’S SO ICY.

she’s calling me out for being a simp ;-; heart been broke so many times or smth

OH SHIT LUMINE SPOKE. MAN,, WHY IS SHE SO COOL.

oh… i love this part of the vow… im suddenly inspired to write… how about a wedding au? an angsty wedding au?

goddamn… it’s been nice knowing you all…. i dont think i’ll come out of this alive if signora went out like that…

WHATS HAPPENING? ARE YOU SAYING KAZUHA WENT THROUGH THIS BS? IS LUMINE OKAY-

DID THEY REALLY JUST STORM THE ENTIRE FUCKING CAPITAL?? THEY HAVE SOME NERVE.

FUCK OMG KAZUHA AHHAHFHAFHAHGKJABKASBGA IM TEARING UP WTF WHY AM I GETTING EMOTIONAL- HONEY BUN THATS SO HOT OF YOU TO DO

oh… oh it’s time for round two? haha… time to… say my goodbyes….

yo… there are actual tears in my eyes… like… idk why… but that cutscene? shit man… that hit me…

hm… i feel bad for the shogun… ultimately, there is reason behind every act no matter how horrid. no matter how unreasonable, the reason one thinks of is always justified on their end. whatever everyone else thinks pay little effect on whether the act is fulfilled or not. also, her little laugh? i’m extra deceased.

the animation's fire as always wtf

oh but my kokoro... oof... my kokoro... ugh...

I’M SO FUCKING DONE AJKFHAKJBVAK- WE BEAT A HARBINGER AND FOR WHAT? she should’ve just tossed that gnosis into the ocean or smth...

HAH OMG SCARAMOUCHE. WHAT A MAN. I’M- I WAS RIGHT OMG. I HAD A LIL THEORY AND ITS JUST SMTH I HAD IN THE BACK OF MY MIND. I NEVER THOUGHT IT’LL ACTUALLY COME TRUE DEAR LORD. so now ig i have to admit i think abt him a lot and he has a soft spot in my heart 🥺 he’s evil you see and you know what my type is? evil men or at the very least, men with the potential to be evil. ugh so annoying.

scaramouche banner when

bc i sold everything worthy of money in me (read as my organs) for albedo, i'll sell my soul for him how about that?

EYE- makoto huh… well… fuck…

it’s day 400 of being ayato less even if he’s like… teased a million of times (jk it’s like… a grand total of seven but thats still p high)

im so… sigh…

i wonder if i’m still alive by the time sumeru releases… at the very least, i know my brain wouldn’t be.

....we were literally a captain for like... one second. that is so sad.

[adorajoon]

stalked. (epilogue)

> epilogue of stalked

> an au in which you find a thirst account dedicated to you

> word count: +4k

—

4 Hours after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You can’t specifically recall the details from the day it happened. It felt like a hazy dream that you were on the verge of waking up from. In a regular situation you would have joked around about astral projecting the entire time, which in itself is funny to think about. But let’s be honest this was probably going to traumatize you for a few years, if not more. Even your primary coping mechanism, humor, wasn’t enough to protect you from the horror of reality. Somehow you had the seedling of a thought, that maybe just maybe this really was your fault.

Breathe.

You took a deep breath and rubbed your eyes. The potholes and constant bumping were doing the opposite of lulling you to sleep. The sky was dark and full of stars that whisked by. You moved around some to get in a more comfortable position but found your efforts fruitless. Again you sighed.

Your huffing caught the attention of Jungkook who had been your personal chauffeur. Even with your back turned to him you could feel his concerned stare. You felt bad about asking him to do this favor after leaving the police station, but he seemed eager to please. Not that you were complaining or anything, it was endearing.

Your destination was home. Home sweet home where you could leave behind the weighing thought of Hoseok and Uni homework you had yet to catch up on. Your house was about a 35 minute drive on a traffic free day. Far but not too far.

You looked through the window watching the stars go by again. The moon like always, was following the two of you. It took you back to when you were a kid when your parents told you about the rabbit on the moon. ‘Tokki’ as they called him would pound rice cakes on the moon. In a funny way, the story reminded you of Jungkook. In some ways he was like a rabbit with his big round eyes and cute bunny teeth. You made yourself laugh as you mused the thought of Jungkook being the rabbit on the moon.

“Hey Jungkook,” you shifted in your seat to look at him. His figure was illuminated by the street lights and moon. “Thanks for agreeing to take me home all late and stuff.”

He shrugged as if it was nothing, “Like I said, don’t worry about.” Jungkook spared you another glance. He put his hand on your hand which had been resting on your thigh. “You went through some Future Diary shit dude, it’s the least I can do.”

He gets a giggle and then a laugh out of you. ”You goddamn weeaboo.”

“Says the person with an anime profile picture.” His hand squeezes your hand but you retract it, indicating your (fake) offense. He continues on with his anime rant “All I’m saying is that Yuno was like ‘I wanna protect you’ and then homegirl nearly destroyed two universes just to be with Yuki...Also give me back your hand coward.”

You could see his point yet you continued to keep the banter/discussion going on. Anything to get your mind off your guilt.

5 hours after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

“Hey, I really don’t want this to come off the wrong way but...I haven’t brought a person home for my family to meet,” You looked down at the glove compartment, feeling a little bashful. “I want you to meet them under better circumstances and when yknow… we’re actually official?”

He nods understanding the position you’re in, “Oh I get you, it’d be weird of me to impose anyway.”

You offer him a weak smile and reach over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Be careful on the way home.”

“Y/n, don’t even worry about it, I have a black belt in kickassology.”

“Sehun’s thread says otherwise.”

—

You flop onto your bed with a defeated groan. You had spilled your guts to your parents all in one go and all that you really desired was to just sleep or at least forget about your day.

Feeling simultaneously frustrated and exhausted you grabbed your pillow and put it up to your face. You screamed into your pillow with all you had. And it went on for awhile before your tired yourself out. Flipping your body over you stared at the ceiling fan, you didn’t want to feel anything. Yet! Those intrusive thoughts of Hoseok came racing into your mind. His look of despair and pained face printed itself into your mind.

‘This is your fault.’

‘Wait no. Stop thinking it’s your fault because it’s not it was just the circumstances. Ok but wait, maybe-‘

You close your eyes for a few minutes before you suddenly feel the need to text. Typical Millennial. The person that jumps into your mind is of course Jungkook.

You smile at his response and throw your phone at the pile of stuff animals at the foot of your bed. He was a dork.

1 day after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You sat at kitchen table eating cereal across from your teenaged sibling. They had been typing away carelessly on their phone while you watched cartoons from their laptop. You guess they felt bad for you because they would have never trusted you with it otherwise. You put another spoonful into your mouth as you watched on. Your parents had left for works hours before hence their absence. You had to go back to campus later that day anyway so there wasn’t a point for them to stay and worry.

“Y/N.” They say all of the sudden. You look up to see urgency in there eyes.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” You narrowed your eyes at them. It was rare of your sibling to extend to olive branch. You supposed they were emotionally constipated, unlike yourself, so moments like these were rare.

“Well.” They tried to elaborate the best they could, “You went through some stuff, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone...I guess.”

The sentiment meant a lot to you. You needed to hear that. A fond smile found its way to your face and retracted your hand. You leaned over the table, “This is the shittest week I’ve ever had.”

You begin to tell them about how everything started but you end up stopping midway because your phone vibrates on the wooden table surface. Your eyes glance at the screen and you see a notification from Jimin. For some reason your mouth goes dry.

The look of dismay on your face must have been too obvious because your sibling picked up on it right away. “What’s wrong?” They asked peeping up from the other side. Thankfully it was a sincere question, not one of annoyance. Your sibling was (usually) an insufferable dick sent from Hell.

You frowned, “Check your Twitter, I’m everywhere.”

They quirked an eyebrow at you and began scrolling through their own phone. You bite at the inside of your cheek anticipating their reaction to it. “Damn...Better start calling yourself Dick Wolf because you just produced an episode of Law and Order.” They said holding back their shit eating grin.

There was the sibling you hated.

You stood up from your chair, creating a jarring floor to chair leg screech. “I’m not taking this slander from a freshman in highschool, good day to you.”

You had completely pushed the issue of the media getting ahold of your story aside and put it in your repressed feelings box. You would worry about that later.

—

The train ride back to campus was uneventful to say the least. Save for the fucking part when Seokjin, someone you previously regarded as a good friend, texted you from out of the blue.

You sat in your seat staring at his message. In all honesty you didn’t want to talk to him, it would just make you feel awful. But at the same time you wanted some closure, more information. Hesitantly you texted him back, saying you would call him after you got off your train. He of course complied and that was that. Well not completely because your stomach started to feel queasy.

Kim Seokjin, is- no was the boyfriend of your longtime friend Min Yoongi. He just sort of crashed into your life about a year or moreso ago. Your first impression of him was not exactly good, even if he had made your friend happy, you had found him irritating and nosey (particularly in your affairs and gossip about you). You never voiced your annoyance of course and overtime Jin started to grow on you and the rest of your little group. In hindsight you should’ve seen his betrayal coming but again, being the overly forgiving idiot you were, you still saw the good in him.

You didn’t call him immediately, in fact you actually went back to your dorm. When you opened the door you half expected Yeri or Jisoo to come and attack you with questions but that was not the case. It was the middle of the day so no one was there.

You closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. It still smelled like Jisoo’s lavender lotion, for which you were grateful for. Slowly you kicked off your shoes and pushed them aside. As you walked to your bed you saw a little banner hanging across your wall saying, “We Missed You <3.” You had no idea how long it had been hung up but it made you crack a grin. Somehow you’d pay them back later for the cute message. Despite everything they were probably the most patient and understanding.

But you digress. You came in to relax...and call Jin. You sat at the foot of your bed and scrolled through your contacts. Upon finding his name you pause and take a moment to compose yourself.

The phone begins to dial him up. You sit alone in anticipation, you had no idea what he would tell you. You hoped he wouldn’t answer.

“Hey y/n...it’s me um.” Jin wasn’t usually one to stutter with his words, he was usually proper with his speech, “thanks for calling me.”

“What did you want to tell me?” You ask cutting to the point. Small talk would just make you feel awful.

He paused. “Everything.”

6 years before Jung Hoseok’s arrest

It was a month into freshman year, you would say that you adjusted pretty well despite your initial thinking. You had plenty of new friends and acquaintances, mixed in with some old. You were particularly fond of the boy who sat by you in biology. His name was Kim Namjoon, he was pretty cool for an NHS kid you figured. The two of you had plenty of interests like anime and...copying off each other's homework.

Anyway, one day during a free period you decided to stray from the usual group of people to focus on your work. You didn’t know that would be your big mistake.

You saw him from across the room. Jung Hoseok. The boy who everyone told you stay away from. The boy everyone avoided. The sad little boy you would come to know as your stalker.

Now you were never one to buy into rumors, you liked to judge people for yourself before jumping head first into conclusions. You gave him a look over from where you were. Not sugarcoating anything, he looked like shit. Yes, he wasn’t bad looking-not in the slightest. It was just the fact that he looked like he had just gotten in a bad fight and lost. The bruise marks on his neck were what really got your attention. Without thinking you walked over to him.

“Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone?” You stood over him with a concerned look.

He looked up at you partly startled at your presence. His face contorted into a variety of faces but eventually found itself in a mesh of shock and fear. Hoseok said nothing as his eyes began to gloss over with tears. You cocked your head to the side a little confused by his silence. His eyes locked with yours as a tear ran down from cheek. It was your turn to be startled. He began to cry more and more. Not knowing what to do in the situation you did the first thing that came to mind and that was pat his back. You didn’t know how he would react to that but you definitely didn’t expect him to cry harder. In a panic you looked around to see no one paying attention to the two of you, figures. Not knowing what else to do you gently wrapped your arms around him.

Yes you didn’t know him and you thought he would push you away but to your surprise he weakly wrapped his arms around you and began to cry in your shoulder.

You wish you could say that it escalated into a beautiful friendship after that but it didn’t. Though more friendly towards you Hoseok was still pretty much the same, he kept to himself. You respected his space and let him come to you, it wasn’t your intention to overstep boundaries.

He grew out of his ‘emo’ phase near the end of freshman year and by the next year his personality took a subtle turn. Suddenly everyone thought he was much more cool—not weird. By this time you already had your established friend group but you stayed on friendly terms. Homecoming was evidence enough of that.

3 days after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

When Jin said everything he meant everything. He told you about how long Hoseok had been planning to talk to you outside of high school, how he would shift his schedule to yours, how many pictures he had of you in his room. He told you about the elaborate past plans the two had come up with. Hoseok’s motivation for becoming a cop, which was not to get close to you like you suspected, but for another. Jin disclosed your stalker’s family ties and how his father abused him and his his own mother didn’t even want him. Hoseok wanted to be a police officer to help others like him, or at least that what he told Jin.

The first thing that you had concluded from the conversation the two of you had was that Hoseok had been in fact emotionally manipulating Seokjin even before you had met. It disturbed you to say the least and made you feel disgusted. Disgusted towards him and somehow yourself. You knew it wasn’t healthy to think that way but the thoughts just came in and in. 

Anyway.

It unsettled almost as much as the people dming you about your situation. You knew very well that they were news outlet people or just snooping around. Your assigned police officer Sooyoung had told you about being weary of who messaged you over the course of the next few days. It was understandable to be honest, you were the center and cause of the investigation of the Seoul Police and a stalker case. In addition to that she kept you posted on any new developments in what she called the ‘Jung Situation’.

The two of you corresponded through text mostly on the account of the Incheon Police Department going into maximum overdrive.

You stared at your phone for the longest time looking over what you had typed. It was out of your control.

You sighed and put your phone in your jacket pocket. You were at the front door of Jimin’s place. He alongside Taehyung had invited you over for dinner (he had ominously said dress ‘hoe formal’ so you assumed it would be just more than that). Not that you minded or anything, and it was probably better that you got out the dorms. (Especially when you spent the past few days making up as much work as humanly possible).

Before you even got to knocking he seemed to have sensed your presence and dragged you in. There wasn’t a point in protesting he was about as stubborn as he was small.

To your surprise you see your group of friends huddled up in his tiny living room. Their focus shifts from the TV and onto you. Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Namjoon (with his patched up nose) give off varying degrees of excitement.

“Surprise y/n! I figured you needed a distraction from everything so we’re going out tonight!” Jimin held onto your shoulders as if you were about to book it and never come back. He was absolutely beaming.

“Where are we going?” You raised an eyebrow and tried to pry yourself away from his small hands (baby hands as you called them). It proves useless to struggle.

“Yeah I would like to know too.” Yoongi grumbles from the corner of the couch, basically drowning in his winter coat. You don’t blame him it was actually really cold. “You promised meat.”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up at the mention of food and he sat completely up from his spot, “Hyung are we...getting meat with y/n?” He says meat as if it’s a sacred word.

Jimin pouts and takes his hands off of you. He takes a few steps away from you to hold Taehyung’s empty hand (odd flex). “Well I was gonna tell you guys myself, but yes I’m paying for us to go eat and then we’re going to karaoke.” He seemed to squeeze Taehyung’s hand after making his last statement, “Yes I will pay so don’t worry about it.”

—

For the first time in what seemed like awhile you felt like a normal college student. Everything felt okay, and untouched by the heavy reality that was unwraveling around the six of you. Time seems to slow down as you all enjoy your dinner together, the table is filled with boisterous laughs and beer. Even Yoongi who had looked glum before had appeared to be in good spirits. You sort of thanked the alcohol for that.

All sitting around the table you all grabbed pieces of meat from the center of the table. There wasn’t a particular topic in the conversation it would just jump around from school to memes to the time Taehyung brought his dog Yeontan to school with him. And so it goes on like this right up until you all go to karaoke.

It was all shits and giggles by then but you were starting to feel the affects of drowsiness kick in. It was a shame that you were a sleepy drunk. 

While they went ham in karaoke you sat next to Yoongi who was taking a breather because he was partially tipsy. You watched everyone have a good time in front of you. Not that you minded you were perfectly content with watching man-children make a fool out of themselves.

 A little bit into it you saw Yoongi looking more or less sad. “...Are you ok?” You asked Yoongi, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t give you an immediate response. “As long as I have you guys I think I’ll be fine.” His voice was soft and his eyes were locked on his shoes.

1 week after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

“Y/n.” Officer Sooyoung Park sat across from you at her desk, she looked tired and run down from the overtime she had been working, “I’m glad you could make it on such short notice.”

You nodded, “It was no problem...”

She let out a huff and supported her head on her hands, “So I’m going to be one hundred percent with you, we worked hard for you to get justice while also keeping in mind the circumstances.” she continued to speak, “The judge found Hoseok unfit for trial due to his mental state so he’s going to rehabilitation where hopefully he can improve.”

“And what happens if he doesn't?” You sat on the edge of your seat. 

“They’ll keep him as long as he needs to be there.” She took a sip of her coffee while reading from a manila folder filled with papers on papers. Her eyes looked up at you with an unreadable expression. “I’ve done all I can.”

It was out of your hands now. You get up and thank her for her services.

“One more thing.” 

You stopped, your hand resting on the door handle.

“He told me to tell you that he’s sorry. He was annoying and insistent that I tell you or else he wouldn’t comply with the other officers.”

You just nodded and opened the door. 

Feeling bittersweet about the entire thing. you didn’t intend on looking back.

“Take care of yourself y/n.”

2 years since Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You sat next to Jungkook awkwardly adjusting the top part of your dress. It was hot and sticky and absolutely disgusting outside. You mentally cursed at Jin who insisted on having the outing outside in the first place. Jungkook wouldn’t stop squirming around in his seat either, it was easy to infer that he felt just as hot in his tux (as if his sweat didn’t give it away either).

“Who decides to have their wedding in the middle of May anyway?” You ask making sure to keep your voice to a whisper. “My thighs are melted to the chair.” You weren’t even being dramatic, if you tried to get up your skin would most definitely peel off the plastic chair. Graphic but you lived a sad life indeed.

“We both know Jin is...unique.” Jungkook crosses his arms and slouches in his chair. “And knowing him he probably planned it all without Yoongi.”

The wedding venue was nice enough, it looked expensive and elegant like you expected. White flower petals were littered everywhere you walked and decorative designs adorned any and all inanimate objects. Seokjin was a man of elegant taste what could you say.

There was a brief pause, you could hear the hushed murmurs of the other guests behind the two of you. You took a quick glance around to see some familiar faces mixed in with some not-so familiar faces. In the front you can see Yoongi standing awkwardly in his little suit. Namjoon and Jimin stand to the side as his best men laughing at him. You smile fondly at the sight. Yoongi notices your gaze and sends you a nervous smile. Of course your reaction is to send him an over enthusiastic thumbs up. 

“Y/n, do you think the emergency gummy bears are melted?” Jungkook asked you quietly while searching through your purse. You didn’t notice he had been snooping around until he said something.

Jungkook hadn’t changed a bit since the two of you decided to start seeing each other. He was still a dweeb who annoyed you by calling you mommy. Which was fucking disgusting. You relished your time spent with Jungkook even if you hadn’t officially started talking until the incident. 

Finally he retrieved your shared stash of gummy bears and began to open them. Soon after he did that the traditional wedding song from the organ began to play. Both of you froze in place and waited in anticipation for the other groom to come out. Quietly you both stood up and watched as Seokjin appeared at the beginning of the walkway. He took long strides with the music up to his husband to be.

You watched with bated breath as Jin approaches the altar. Yoongi had the biggest and most child-like grin on his face. 2 years prior you would have never forseen the two of them pushing through their relationships problems. It was almost laughable, the entirety of two years ago felt like a bad dream. 

It took a lot to get to this point you were not going to lie. It took therapy, confrontation, and acceptance of the circumstances, but you were finally glad to say that you and your friends were in a better place. Just a few days back you had heard Hoseok had requested a hearing to be discharged from the institution. 

The music stopped and your attention was now fully on the couple who were starting a new beginning. Somewhere in the speech you interlocked fingers with your boyfriend who was periodically eating gummy bears from his pocket. 

It finally dawned on you--You probably wouldn’t be here if Jimin had never found the thirst account. You wouldn’t be with Jungkook, but rather Hoseok who would still be dangerously infatuated with you. Jin could’ve still been pining after Hoseok, 

Hoseok would have still thought of you as his galaxy.

The notion of it made your stomach turn and you disregarded the thought. Nervously, you fiddled with the ring on your left hand while looking ahead at the altar. Jungkook’s eyes shift from the couple and onto you, he stays silent however his finger runs over the outside of your palm soothingly.

You feel at peace again and your restless thoughts are put to bed once more.