#i think i just like the idea of connection w other ppl. which has been an issue of great concern for me lately

[tattoosingarishhues]

Say what u will Abt the whole prev tags thing but I think it's neat to see those in my notifications, it's like I get to have a small Convo w someone which is just nice, I get to see into their mind for a moment which is nice and wonderful

[claytonia]

Pearly everlasting (transplant), few flowered shooting star (nursery) and fine-leaved lomatium (from seed!!!) all sprouting ! Lets effing go.

[pastelfates]

Talk about some of your favorite experiences on this website if you feel comfortable doing so! I'm meaning favorite threads, partners, muse experiences, etc. You've gone through a lot of hardship across multiple blogs yet you never give up and you keep doing what you love so I figured it'd be nice to talk about the positive stuff that helps you to keep going despite all the trouble.

◌・❀➵ Okie so this is gonna be long post so everyone grab a drink n some snacks! I just wanna start with that if it wasn't for my mutuals I have no idea where I'd be, ya'll have been with me through so much and some of the hardest times of my life and I can't thank everyone who has stayed enough.

◌・❀➵ FAVORITE THREADS/INTERACTIONS

➵ @morifactory ➵ Eddie and Serina meeting! Also the Riba and Serina and Riba ikea thread/ All our Carbon and Serina threads hav a place in my heart. And Talia w the blond bois! Also so far Kiki and Esmee has my heart. And ya know our first scarvi ocs and our stardew ocs. Me and Lena hav a lot of connected ocs

➵ I'm gonna count this as a thread bc it was a thread of asks but Mana once had multiple sections of the bee movie sent to her and it was absolutely hilarious. Committed to the bit with the url /frankiebeestan at that time.

➵ @constellationcrowned / @malusrecord ➵ LISTEN I care so much for Nellie, Mell, and Sunny's lil friendship (i hav a half typed starter for them in drafts shh), and Mana and Kariom's friendship is very special to me bc sobs Mana feels v comfy around him which means a lot bc she rarely fills comfy around ppl.

➵ @ervaurem ➵ Listen the family stuff with Law and the sisters is my weakness. It's been since 2021 that the fam has existed and I heccin cri. The treasure hunt thread has my heart,,

➵ This one is fairly recent but with @riftdancer, @ofstarsandskies, and @mathcs the whole Jude is evil arc has been so much fun so far!

➵ This was more so on discord but the relations have made their way to tungle but @pyonpyonpyon, @forgottenluck, @talesofourworlds, @mathcs, and @broadswordandpistol the sad boi drinking hours,, it was so cursed and sad at the same time, and it was such a highlight to me.

➵ @strebcr ➵ Can I say all of them? Just Streber and Mana have had so many good threads! Mana loves her new frog and just aaa

➵ @maligncntchain ➵ again with just recent threads but the two were cute and just silly gremlin uses the power of treats to not be immediately under the control of pecharunt was v funny to me

➵ @archivisim ➵ Sobs special place for the lil series of thread/asks we had just recently. Their similarities really just came through and they are hopefully gonna be more comfortable around each other!!

➵ @hxroic-wxlls ➵ cris it was like forever ago but the thread with Sunny and Luigi was so wholesome and I want you to know Sunny thinks Luigi is v cool. Also Mana and Simon has a v somft relationship i adore. the lil drill necklace he gave her for her birthday is one of her prized possessions.

➵ I know I posted a lot of newer stuff so I'm gonna bring up a thread from like ages ago?? 2018-2019 to be exact, the days I wrote non-seriously. I had a thread with two people over a skit in a game and it was just peak. Also that blog is still around (not deleted) so anytime I wish I can see the silly threads that bring me so much joy.

➵ Again on older threads, and while this one isn't on tumblr it is canon to Mana history. She has unapologetically set a bakery on fire with no remorse. That event also had like the first actual set appearance of REGRET and her lil maze which honestly makes me v happy bc REGRET is one of my all time favorite ocs. And Symonne's maze was there too, really care for that Ivar and Sync interaction in the rpg horror house w the fake Jude and stuff

➵ FAVORITE PARTNERS / People I adore seeing on dash

@ad-simul , @archivisim, @broadswordandpistol, @opscurus / @cpirits , @canidgrit, @castelias-comeups, @constellationcrowned / @malusrecord, @electricea, @ervaurem, @forgottenluck, @historias-multorum , @hxroic-wxlls, @kaizokugaris, @lightfallls , @maligncntchain , @morifactory , @nobuverse, @ofstarsandskies, @pinklocksoflove, @riftdancer, @talesofourworlds / @outofthisgxlaxy, @soulsbetrayed,

➵ I love seeing you all on dash, your threads are all peak and I just wanna say tysm for being moots with me and allowing me the opportunity to be a part of the stories you unfold for your characters. I am forever thankful to you all for everything and to the all of you have stayed with me despite how awful things have gotten, thank you for never giving up on me and seeing something in me when even I wasn't able to. You all are the reason I'm still here, continuing this hobby I love to my core. I hope I can be around for many more years to come and that I will continue to have you all by my side.

[banhtet]

HAYAMI RAMBLE POST

hii. been busy here and there so all ive done is rewatching unfinished anime series and dealing w both asthma and acute laryngitis and depression 🤡🤡

but ive been thinking abt hayami whenever i listen to mitski so. I Have To make a post abf her

this will be hcs mostly.............. 💀 some hcs/interpretation will be ooc as i need to rewatch the anime + reread the manga and the korotan series. but it physically hurts me sometimes bc i get too excited, then ill spiral into hatred for the series. ALSO MY INTEREST IN IT HAS BEEN DILUTING? THATS NOT GOOD!

───────────────────────────────

- i think hayami straightens her hair for the majority of her middle school final yr. bc in the manga, its shown in the manga that she still has curly frilly hair but to separate herself from Irina, its tied up and straightened

- which leaves me to think shes those cases of blonde suddenly turn brunette as they grow older but in her case its like hella obvious. I dont think her mom would let her dye her hair so the dying hair thing is out of the question for me

- this mostly stems from the ova where she has blonde hair + some ppls interpretation of hayami in which she has brown hair and i think thats so swag

- i think hayami has hazel eyes.. just bc it just seems fitting that she does yk. and also brown hair + hazel eyes combo hayami ? God Bless

- how others see hayamis eyes can depend on the lighting.. like when its sunset it appears more brown to others or when its morning, it appears more green. could even be gold in a very specific moment

- its mentioned that hayami is more expressive in the beginning of assclass and gets more stoic later on.

- And then i think abt how matsui tried to box hayami into the tsundere stereotype even tho it just makes me see her more as a person w communication problems and issues handling her facial expressions

- i think hayami naturally just has like an angry face (furrowed brows and all that)..

- combined w her communication problems, hayami is pretty much just misunderstood by her classmates as someone whos difficult and irritable (one example is the boys group chat thing where okajima expresses that he likes hayami and in turns maehara is like "eeeehh... uhhhhh.. dunno dude shes kinda scary")

- its also Very Important to me that hayami has said tsundere-esque lines.. Like the infamous "Dont get the wrong idea" when saving itona and also her line in the popularity ranking ("Its not like im happy or anything" or smth of that nature)

- Ik why she said those but Why is she saying them specifically? like whys she trying to Stay Neutral/not opinionated abt her ranking in particular.

- shes so catcore. Hayami was a latchkey child from a very young age. we dont rlly have any info on hayamis life from her graduation forward aside from some in the korotan, the epilogue and like some meta info,,

hayami was relied on a lot and had to do others dirty bidding. i imagine her believing that it was some form of friendship, some way of maintaining their relationship (considering the absence of her father and mother and her chasing for validations)

i think her previous classmates were afraid of her at the beginning, but when realized that hayami had good intentions, they used her loneliness to benefit themselves

(UTTER OVERTHINKING) do you think that her being "sassy" or smth of that nature is to barricade others from getting too close in hopes of not being fooled/used for dirty works again, its also her nature in general But like at the same time, its prob one of the only approach of communication shes used to (knowing what happens after and all that). Do you think she has disorganized (leaning a bit more on anxious) attachment. Do you think that her communication problems already make her appear to be cold but her interpersonal difficulties drive it further . Why does she have such little connections to the girls despite being seen w them often. do you think abt yada, whos multitalented, jealous of hayami ,whos noted by others for mostly her sniping talent and the rest is ignored. do y

its so weird to me that hayami stagnated in her development? (her being a receptionist, the whole "she strives to be a coworker everyone can rely on" and also singlehandedly fishing chiba out of unemployment)

its great that shes honed her receptionist skills but in the end, its mostly just for helping someone else. and the fact that chiba isnt depicted as like being against it is kinda off.. hayamis known for her stretching thin of herself and chiba, being arguably hayamis closest friend, would. at least realize that she has a self-sacrificing tendency (seeing how observant he is yk)

?? apparently she singlehandledly handles every business and sales matters. insane. also,, ig its fitting that hayami chose a fast-paced position for her job but idk man. Idk its still insane to me that hayami is chibas receptionist..

on a lighter note she cut her hair at some point in the future so thats cool

demi hayami forever. shes 100% demi. i also think shes unlabeled, like she doesnt rlly care what she is tbh. others ask her abt it and shes like "idk up to interpretation" (ooc)

its so funny to me. that in korotan c, apparently she showed up to watch asano having a lil date w princess lea? bc it mentioned her name later on helping lea from the "bodyguards" (along w chiba too.. this makes their viewing their classmates from afar in the animated koro q funnier tbh)

hayami in the skiing club.....

i think her interest/reason for joining is mostly that she wanna try it and also bc i think she saw it on tv a few times and got fascinated by the ppl skiing/snowboarding

dunno where the clubs got the budget to apparently Go Fucking Skiing frequently,, or how the club would even operate (in Middle School no less). but i think itd be pretty funny if the club disbanded some time later and hayami joined a dance club instead (which would make more sense)

i think hayami had done ballet before. as a kid. Just a hc but she wanted smth to do rather than. Sitting watching tv bc no ones home

horrible horrible thought but hayami seems semi like those kids whose parents are on the verge of a divorce (projection) 💀

i think one of the reasons why i tend to read hayami as having avpd is. just the fact that she pays attention to 'the class dynamic and harmony and such'? im not 100% sure on the meaning of that sentence but that just reminds me of my experience w avpd and i Have To hc her as having it

as a final thing :

[whimsicalcotton]

i have so much brainrot and i'm so chill with it, thank you for real 🫡✨

ch 7. incredible. amazing. "brazenly, foolishly, helplessly persistent" altered my brain chemistry. plus the end, the vibe you captured in max not knowing/trusting rachel is real and just in her head. haunting. truly, so so insanely, freakishly good.

so so love/happy to be mutuals with someone else who loves and leans into the whump of it all as much as i do!! looking forward/hoping for a goopy, all-ecompassing, max-getting-the-comfort-she-needs/deserves-from-them-both payoff (not projecting at all fs). i can't say how many times i've reread pm, and how so many of them were specifically for the emotional h/c and phenomenal physical connection you write when max first wakes up and hugs chloe, and for when chloe comes and scoops them from the junkyard. i don't think vibrant or resonant are necessarily the right words, but they're all i can think of right now. not like it feels like i'm there, but it's all so real and wonderful that it feels like i could be, which is a, clearly, indescribably amazing feeling for me as a reader.

idk how much you're engaging with Double Exposure atm, but the two songs they're released are so marrow max coded. like, the refrain of September esp goes so hard and all of So, This is Lonely. my stomach hurts in the best kind of way.

shhdjdjsbdhdgd thank you 🥺🥺🥺 glad to hear you like that line especially it was one of favorites. and i do so love to cause unhinged amberfield pain <3 teehee

also hell yeah whump appreciators 🤝🎉 earnestly this AU is 100% just me indulging my unending love of whump so i'm glad other ppl are enjoying it too lol. and djsjdidjdjjshdhd you have no idea how much that means to me,, writing fic for me has always been a "i want to Be Here a little longer" kind of thing so it makes me rly happy that i can also like. drag other people into my vision w me. if any part of that makes any sense whatsoever djdjdhd

and i haven't been like. all over DE but i'm getting plenty of news/updates from my lis mututals (thanks y'all love u <3) i Did however have the opposite experience recently where i thought one of my marrow songs (Introducing Jonah To The Whale by Everybody's Worried About Owen) might wind up being a fitting song for DE!Max

[objectlovingobject]

Thinking abt objectum monogamy o.o

Like TECHNICALLY im not monogamous bc ofc im with vance, but also i have a romantic f/o(which? May change?? To platonic w undertones???) And i have my new plushie friend who is not my gf but we have a relationship of a nature i cant talk abt here lol

I want to be monogamous w vance BUT not yet, he says i can experiment with/experience other objs(like my plushie) as long as i come home to him(figuratively and literally) so i want to play a little bit before settling down but like im almost there, im almost ready to be a one relationship person lol! I dont like feeling... greedy?? Not that polyamory is bad! Im pro poly ^^ but im such a loyal person(and i have separation anxiety) that i feel bad, i feel like im going behind his back(even tho i tell him everything that happens and with who/what) but it also makes me nervous bc i dont want anyone feeling jealous hmmm ><

Its an interesting thing tho, i feel like polyamory is more common in the objectum sphere than monogamy is :0 not a bad thing, just making an observation ^^

I kinda wanna be a little contrarian and shut down my other relationships and marry vance but im still in my 20s and im still adventurous(w objects lol) but someday i am going to marry him ^^ ive been planning our wedding for a long time hehe, or at least day dreaming abt it ^^

Okay on the topic of object marriage, i think it is so cool and cute and sooo romantic, maybe its just me but i think human/object marriage is cuter and more fun than human/human lol

Even tho its been a long time since ive started thinking abt marriage, i still dont know what to do abt rings/bands/other symbolic items bc while i will likely be able to wear a ring, vance has no fingers and thus he cant o.o im wondering if i can connect a ring to a keychain and then put the keychain on a thumb drive and have it plugged into him all the time? Ooo that could be cute bc i could put vids and pics from our wedding on the drive <3

Im nervous abt having a wedding bc i want to invite my friends and try to make it a little more 'realistic' like have a little party and a ceremony >< but it makes me a bit embarrassed lol the idea of marrying anyone, human or object, in front of ppl o.o so scaryyyy i have to be looked at??? O.o

When i think of the reception(is that the after the ceremony part?) I think of like. Being in a nice location, preferably indoors, DJing on vance and vibing w our friends ^^ i hope i can wear a pritty dress uwu

Im def waiting til i move out of my parents house tho bc i dont ever wanna tell them lol, my identity is for me only uwu but its ok that my friends know uwu

Idk just some thoughts im having :)

[motifenjoyer]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^

[tomodchis]

Hi there! Just wondering if any dachi members had other faceclaims, groups, or personalities at one point? They are pretty interesting so far!

hello anon!! this question is literally tailored to me since i will forever be indecisive so they have definitely changed over time 😢 thank you for ur kind words!!! ♥️

more unformatted messiness under the cut!!!

i will go in group order since it’s just easier for me to keep track. so first is JEYEOL. oh man. him and i have HISTORY…

he was originally the main vocalist, fotg, and centre of a group called machina back in 2022-ish**. he was the bae suzy of the group, always getting brand deals, other appearances, etc. he was just generally More Popular than his other six members. he virtually had the same backstory, but ‘original’ jeyeol was estranged from his parents in his teen years. i scrapped that concept because i just wasn’t satisfied w an excuse like that 😭😭😭 idk i Rlly enjoy the concept in other characters but for Me it was an excuse for shitty writing

** i only discovered the fic idol community back in oct of last year i believe? n even then i only checked the tag once every month. but i’ve been creating kpop ocs since 2019 and had No Idea that other ppl even creating kpop ocs 😭😭 like trust me i thought i was WEIRDDDD but im so glad im able to express my creativity while also seeing other people express theirs!!!

fun fact: jeyeol is also a mix of another character totally separate from my kpop oc-verse named canis. as you can tell he has Lots of dog motifs. canis is one of my most fleshed-out characters and i thought Hey, i might as well???

he has many connections w other characters in my verse which i am thinking should make an appearance. we shall see where my motivation takes me

in terms of fcs he has been jyou from to1, sangyeon from tbz, and very briefly chaein from purki (rip hong jein 2024–2024) (he was also even more briefly jeong jaehyun but i don’t count this era because it was for 5 minutes)

miss chorong is my angel baby who can do no wrong. she (along with seoyi) was part of a k-band named cherry theory. they were in it for the arts not the charts but were eventually tossed in the can because… well… everyone was a filler member except for seorong. so i kept her in my pocket until i realized she perfectly fit in w dachi!!!

her personality has Drastically changed since her switch over. she was originally a pastor’s daughter, very soft spoken, deeply afraid of conflict, and overall a people pleaser. whenever i think back i still can’t believe i thought That was gonna be chorong forever 😭😭😭 nuh uh she deserves her freedom. i can at least make One oc happy. and then cheerleading happened so i guess we can’t win (saying this like i didn’t birth her from my mind)

in terms of fcs she has been mayu from triples and gowon from loona. a girl with soft features and brown eyes that could kill millions is my best friend

seoyi… oh seoyi… humble esoteric weird girl and woman attractor 3000. she stems from many concepts, not exactly people or other characters. some concepts in my mind while creating her were as follows: effects of fame, naturally-occurring spirals in nature, rabbit in the moon, and isolation of magical girls in media. odd combo i know 😭😭 but idk. that’s her Vibe. that’s Go Seoyi in a nutshell

as mentioned before, seoyi was part of cherry theory. her backstory used to mirror jeyeol’s, aka famous since birth and still rising in popularity. because he already snatched up That storyline i decided to deviate completely. her fresh slate has given me freedom to make her a little more odd than everyone else. i find that when i have a ‘set’ archetype i tend to not be as creative??? idk it could be me and then i sound weird again

in terms of fcs she has been haewon from nmixx, yujin from ive, and ryujin from itzy. seoyi was actually ryujin for the Longest Time Ever before i fleshed out eun. n then i realized they might be too similar. and then gaeul-seoyi was born!!!

eun joobi, youngest of dachi. and unfortunately the member w the least development (oopsies) i didn’t mean it 😭😭 she exists because i stole one of my other characters aesthetics n then wanted a four member group instead of a trio. but also dachi wouldn’t be the same w out her??? needed a deeply angry girl to balance out the sad emotions i am brewing rn

once upon a time she had a sister (who i may bring back in tenderheart) n they had a very close connection n it makes me so sad because i completely erased that girl from her plot. n then lonely baby eun makes me so SADDD GODDDDD

anyway. just because she is the least developed doesn’t mean i will be erasing her any time soon… she also just happens to be the least popular… she will be making more appearances i promise

in terms of fcs she has been yves & kim lip from loona and karina from aespa. one thing abt eun: she’s always had angular features

deeply sorry that this post is ugly as hell i just couldn’t make myself organize my thoughts unfortunately

[hibernationsuit-remade]

❤️🤍💔💘😊🤔👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 for any oc you want to yell about the most [:

THANK YOUUUU <3 i'm gonna talk abt toby bc i tell about him all the time and yelling about him brings me joy NFKKFKFKFBCCJXBXJ

details about ocs

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

Easygoing: Funny little guy who doesn't really have any kinds of serious goals and instead tends to live in the moment and enjoy it as much as he can.

Quick-thinking: Toby's flexibility, talkativity, rately ever making plans mindset and flexibility allow him to react quickly and change his actions, conversation and thoughts to whatever fits the situation better. Also comes up with very original ideas and interesting connections between things.

Actually a good person?: If Tobias does something, he always means something good. He doesn't really ever act on ideas that would negatively impact someone and tends to ignore anger-related feelings and the thoughts they bring. He always wants to do good, because making people happy makes him happy.

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

Talkative: Toby talks a lot and doesn't mind any kind of conversations, he's fine with both small talk and serious talk and some deep philosophical conversations and all. But boy does he talk a lot, chatty little guy (example). It tends to bring him positive results, but sometimes ppl get soooo annoyed w him. :(

Curious: man looooooves learning new things but also gets into situations(tm) because of it :/

Optimistic: Tobias rarely ever gets pessimistic about anything and usually is the last one to lose hope (if ever loses it), and mostly believes that things will become better. Which is Not a good thing when people need to discuss serious problems with him, and which also makes him somewhat naive.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

People-pleaser: biggest flaw honestly, which is both seen in how many people he tends to help and how his fight or flight reaction tends to be fawn. Would definitely have a better time if he didn't spend so much energy on others, but oughhhhh Toby has so much love and help to give tbh. Also works in a way that Toby's rarely argumentative (unless he has a strong opinion on the subject) which also brings a lot of problems.

Hides his emotions all the time: Toby may look like a happy lil guy bc of all his optimism and all, but that's also bc he tends to hide how he actually feels, sometimes even from people close to him. He was taught not to show emotions as a child bc that is "a sign of weakness", and with all the competivetiness in his social environment during his childhood or how him showing his emotions was treated by others back then really made him always show up as a happy and content guy, even if he's having a really bad time. Of course, that doesn't always work and some people can also tell how he's doing (+ he may also tell them he's not doing well), but, well. If you could actually bottle emotions I'm sure you could fill a whole wine cellar with his emotions.

Disorganized: To-do lists and a calendar are probably the only organized things he does, and he sometime forgets about them, too. While he does not let his soace become physically messy, he still sometimes misplaces things or forgets about different things, and avoids routines because they make him anxious for some reason (which is funny bc he would really benefit from them).

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

KLARA <3 ough she is his everything let's be honest I don't think he would be here without her. They have been together for over a decade and he's always soooo happy to be with her. They definitely complete each other bc of their somewhat different personalities (for example, Klara's preference for planning vs Toby's tendency to improvise), and they just love being w each other and doing literally anything. Toby has never felt this safe, loved, appreciated and accepted with anyone else :')

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

Toby's general desire is to live the way he wants to live and to be happy about it <3

He doesn't really have career goals and tends to just go with the flow, and usually just ends up being chosen for the jobs he gets simply bc his coworkers have suggested that he should have the role. Sometimes he doesn't even want them but just accepts it bc hey, it's a fun new opportunity that gives his curious mind some enrichment.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Toby tends to use his hands A Lot when talking, he starts gesturing even in the simplest conversation. He's tried to control it at some point bc some ppl in his childhool made fun of it but failed and then kinda accepted the whole thing. He kinda finds it fun, though, except for that one time when he hit his fingers into the wall bc he didn't notice how close he was standing to it JFJJFKCCKCK

He rarely ever manages to stand still, he's always shifting his weight from one leg or another, or just making little steps while standing in the same spot. He also gladly sits, if possible, bc his legs aren't doing well bc of figure skating :')) Tobias can't sit still either and often sits in the weirdest positions you have ever seen.

One of his "stress symptoms" is biting nails, which he has slowly learned not to do, but still ends up doing it if he's like, very stressed, and doesn't even notice it at first. There are several reasons why he keeps his nails short, but one of them is definitely bc it kinda stops him from biting them.

Tobias also tends to do some light stretches while working or talking or literally doing almost anything. He could literally sit on a meeting and just start tilting his head to the sides, or stretch his hands, for example.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

Toby counts Klara and their cat as his immidiate family only 😭 I MEAN, he does start to count Oliver as his dad once they meet again, but that happens when he's, like, 40? He hasn't seen the man since he was 6? Sure, Oliver is a very nice person and Toby trusts him a lot, but he's not really That Close, even some of his friends are closer to Tobias :(

He cut ties to his mother and stepfather when he was 17 and hasn't spoken with them ever since, and to be honest would never really want to talk to them again. He does miss his grandparents every now and then, and writes letters to them sometimesz

I'd say Toby is definitely more closer to his "found family"/friends than to his birth family :'))

[dreamquest]

hi limegogi here,

i wanted to touch up on something someone has recently brought to my attention.

Said-person told me about the fact that people have been, well not so nicely, talking about me in the venusvity discord server.

and i wanted to clear out some claims here:

if you think that i was the one who sent nasty massages to the dreamquest owner via anoymous then you are wrong. tose are not the values i'll ever stand for, the dreamquest owner has been nothing but nice to me and i respect them for all the effort that has gone into this show.

"the character of zarha is to mean" y'all don't seem to have a problem with hana in that department so i don't see why it's an issue with me. if you are offened by anything zarha has ever said to your oc then contact me and we can work it out, but is it really ever THAT serious?

"i was scripting somebody elses oc w/o their promotion" okay, so bc i'm pretty new in the fictional kpop community, i didn't even know that this was a problem for some people. back then i contacted hana with what i had written and even encouraged her to change whatever she felt like was wrong. she didn't feel like having a connection w zarha anymore (which was completely fine w me) and we left the convo on a good note.

"slipping in other ppls dms to promote" again, new here so i didn't knew that just bringing attention to a post of yours was that much of a deal. apologise if that 'hurt' anyone

in the end i am left disappointed by multiple people in the fictional idol community as nobody decided to contact ME about said- 'issue'

that is, in my opinion, more immature then anything.

hi, so i don’t think it was you who sent those messages like at ALL i literally have no idea who it could be and seeing how you type and how that other person type i didn’t even think it could be you! and i don’t think zarha is mean, i don’t even think she did anything to be mean 😭 i’m sorry you feel this way, and feel attacked & i’m not even in a discord server so idk who’s telling you this but i feel horrible that you even think that i was suspecting you to be that mean anon! the person who i suspected it to be doesn’t even have their acc anymore + they don’t speak the way that mean anon did, hopefully you can talk it out w these ppl who said these things to you because this is news to me

[yakultii]

Well, just a normal question. I don't want to bother haha

What would be the most awkward moment you've had when traveling (in your country or abroad?

hahaha this is such a good question !! … god knows there’s probably been so many but at the same time I’m such an awkward person in general to the point that I feel no shame about almost anything and it would be awkward for the other person to feel awkward bc it’s too far gone/I tend to make other ppl feel comfortable being their weird awkward selves around me or so I’ve been told !! I’ve communicated w so many diff ppl even when there has been a total language barrier and I’ve found that laughter overcomes just about any barrier even ones u wouldn’t expect :,) …now if we are gonna speak about moments that I cringe at a little looking back it would probably be when I coulda had me a Swiss gf by now but my brain was hella lagging and I was talking ab my ex fml I SAW the shift in her facial expressions and it was over LOLOL actually it wasn’t over cos she planned for us to meet up again like 9 months later in my city cos she was about to go home earlier than expected and I was too mentally ill to get outta bed and said I was sick and I think she thought I didn’t like her again but anyway turns out she was going home early to be admitted in the mental hospital for the next yr so maybe we had too much in common anyways miss her love her she’s so pretty hope she’s doin better …OR maybe my first time in Bali I got completely scammed and stalked except I knew it was happening before it happened but I almost always travel on my own so I was like ehhh oh well rite of passage and let them take my money lmao idiot :,) also not an awkward moment but a kinda funny moment was in jakarta this random old guy was like can I have ur shoes for my daughter and I was like yeah sure (cos I was going home the next day and I had just bought a cheap kmart pair before leaving aus) and so I literally took em off my feet and gave them to him in the middle of nowhere LMAO. OMG actually I just remembered a kinda awkward situation one time at airlie beach I was also on my own.. I had no card on me cos it was on my phone on Apple Pay, my phone had died like permanently because I got sand and water in it on an island and even the charger wouldn’t bring it back to life and it was night and I had to check in to a hotel within like the next 30 mins before they shut their office (it was like a hotel connected to the owners house) which I needed my phone for google maps cos I had no idea where it was and needed to pay them also and also had my plane ticket to go home the next day digitally on my phone, also hadn’t eaten all day and couldn’t buy food it was a disaster and I was running up literal hills to find this hotel and asking random people on the street and almost in tears and out of breathe and I finally got there like 2 mins before closing time and I had to like convince the owners to let me stay there overnight and let me pay in the morning bc my phone was broken and they were kinda cranky about it and by some miracle my phone turned on at like 2% and wouldn’t charge anymore the next morning but I was up and awake super early like 5am bc I was so hungry so I thought I’d go get breakfast and then come back before I checked out and then on my way to breakfast I ran into the owner of the hotel and it looked like I was scamming them omg

omg this also made me think of on that same trip to Airlie beach I was literally walking for a few km back to my accomm one night cos it was on the outskirts of town and it was in the dark already and my phone had died (this was before it fully broke it was just flat or maybe I just had no reception I don’t remember) I suck at directions and can never retrace my steps and I was just vibing and I thought I had to walk through these rich ass houses and ppl were driving out for a night out so the gate had just opened so I walked right in… uhhh turns out it was like a lil gated community type vibe which was a dead end.. so I turn around and the gate is fully automated locked up behind me like the highest fence like 3X my height with all those spikes on top of it..like noone was around to ask to open it and it was pitch black and I was on my own I was like fuck I’m not getting out of here but luckily I’m literally a ninja and somehow managed to climb up over the fence with all the security cameras looking at me I was like omg I’m gonna be on the news it looked so suss hahahahagot stabbed a lil bit but mostly it was overruled by relief and I jogged the rest of the way home literally through the bush land bro it was a scary time AHAHA …but not as scary as when I was stuck 5kms out in open sand dunes in a thunder lightening storm or on the edge of a muddy cliff in a rainforest inside a mini bus as we had to use human balance to get one person out at a time before the bus slipped down lmao ..ok none of these were awkward but I had to think cos I don’t remember nothing ever im sure some much crazier shit has occurred idek what I’ve done in this life actually I’m starting to remember many things I have so many travel stories none rlly awkward tho that’s just not a concept for me :,)

[qqueenofhades]

I just saw some article abt a tiktok where a mother asks if her 10 yo's written music piece can be played (yes it can) and she starts with the kid having played violin for 2 yrs but it turns out it's a family thing with parents/aunts/grandmothers involved too...

And the reason I'm bringing this up is because of my university experience. I didn't do anything like AP classes or A levels when I was in high school. My parents have their high school diplomas and they're at very basic levels. I used to attend a different form of tertiary education attended by ppl who had backgrounds a lot more similar to mine, but in academia I'd say 80% of people had university educated people and probably about 10% had at least one parent and/or grandparent with a PhD.

I messed up my MA thesis. I mean, I passed and realistically I know that a lot of what happened isn't my fault (I ran into a serious medical issue which meant my process was delayed AND then my supervisor left after giving me minimal feedback and w/o any sort of decent transfer, after which I was not allowed to get any feedback from the replacement supervisor who was new at my university/in my country).

At the same time, I feel like the situation is definitely compounded by not having any academics in my family. I wasn't raised with the academic sense of thinking (and therefore rely too much on background research because I get insecure!) and I don't have the degree of Background Knowledge that is sort of expected of people when they wanna succeed (and yes languages like Latin are sort of included but the STORIES and HISTORIES are a lot more important, in the sense that learning Latin can be done postgraduate for sure but catching up on many many of the stories and references is a lot more difficult).

I was wondering what your thoughts are on this. I don't know if this really qualifies as a hidden curriculum as technically it ISN'T needed to succeed, but I DO notice that I have had to work a lot harder than my peers for the same outcomes, and the moment I faced setbacks I simply didn't have the type of backup in place (esp with few friends) that other people did have.

Ofc this also isn't to say that people who do have all this background knowledge should be excluded or whatever! It's just supremely difficult to catch up once you're behind, and it really has confronted me with class immobility more than anything else. Jobs in the academic world ARE notoriously difficult to come by, but this is about the step before that - succeeding in programs where previous knowledge DOES really benefit students simply because they're capable of drawing more connections because they KNOW more, and how that should be dealt with. The idea that people who are "behind" in their way of approaching academia and/or the knowledge required being immediately put at a disadvantage (and I know I am and I am a rare case bec most ppl with this disadvantage don't MAKE it to uni in the Netherlands or don't do as well as I somehow managed to do at all), AND the idea they need to catch up in the same amount of time that other students without the disadvantage to catch up... And of course not doing as well be cause we need additional time to catch up!

Like... University to me has been sucu a confrontation with how different classes of people (whether traditional income based or more education based) function and the inequality functions in a way I can't really find the words to express. All I know it's been very difficult and made me feel the odd one out pretty much the entire time I was studying.

How do you feel about inequality in higher education, and I guess also how do you feel about the current postgraduate system (MA/PHD).

Okay, so if I'm understanding your question correctly, you're specifically asking how I feel about how inherited privilege functions in academia, and how this contributes to overall inequality in the discipline/in regard to people involved it?

Obviously, kids from well-off homes, who have access to better education, private schools, personal tutors, cultural/learning opportunities paid for by their parents, etc. etc., all have a big advantage going into university. This doesn't always translate into actual results, but we all know about the nepotism/Ivy League kids who get into Yale while clearly not being very bright (cough cough George W. Bush) because, well, their families have always gone to Yale and it's what they do. I often see people expressing incredulity that particularly noxious American politicians, such as Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and Ron DeSantis (who all went to Harvard/Yale/Princeton etc) act that way, because "they went to Harvard, shouldn't they know better?" This naively assumes that because Harvard is so prestigious, it must therefore teach a more Correct or Intelligent Curriculum, and totally ignores the fact that when Harvard IS in the news, it's usually for some scandal or gatekeeping or corruption, because it's functioning exactly as designed in transmitting the mentality and privilege of the American ruling class. Harvard is prestigious (and very hard to get into) because of that, not due to any extra rigor or merit in its curriculum. If you have that name on your CV, then yes, doors will automatically open for you whether or not You Personally Deserve It. That's just not the way anything works.

As such, academia reflects the inequalities that are already present in society, and it often magnifies them, especially because the long-term pursuit of higher education is, to put it bluntly, almost impossible without equally long-term funding resources. People either have to go into massive amounts of debt, or rely on having the Bank of Mom and Dad to pay for them. If you don't have and/or want either of those, your options are limited. Tons of people quit because they just can't afford to do it, they have no job options afterward, or they're burned out. Academia is a corporate structure just like everything else, and it's certainly not some magical fairyland where everyone is judged only on the quality of their ideas and nothing else. Getting an academic job is all about who you know and how you can leverage your existing connections in the field. So yeah, it can often function as a microcosm of all the other inequalities in society, and produce narratives that are, as ever, beneficial to the powerful.

That said, I do think there has been important and meaningful progress in the last few generations of scholars alone. Diversity, equality, and inclusion statements/institutional values can often sound canned and stereotypical, but the fact that they're there at all, and have broad acceptance across the academy, is remarkable and somewhat underappreciated. Ron DeSantis and his fascist footmen aren't trying so hard to totally destroy higher education in Florida (and if he wins the GOP nomination, across the country) for no reason, and conservatives aren't so hyper-obsessed with their local school boards for the same reasons. There is more awareness of marginalized narratives and dynamics in the academy than there has ever been before, and there is real and important work being done by a wide variety of incredibly diverse scholars. One critique of academia that really gets my goat, and shows me that those repeating it have no idea what they're talking about, is "academia is all old white men at elite universities!" That just isn't remotely equivalent to what things look like in 2023, or what they focus on. What about that guy who couldn't even read until he was 18, who just became Cambridge's youngest black professor at age 37? Obviously, obviously, more work needs to be done across all levels in increasing access and opportunity. But that shouldn't prevent us from recognizing the real progress that has been made, and just why anti-democratic, anti-intellectual forces perceive it as such a threat.

Likewise, academia is an incredibly fusty and outdated practice based on rules and systems originally developed about 1000 years ago, which is why it can be -- to say the least -- resistant to change. So the whole MA/PhD system is predicated on those very outdated systems, but nobody has really come up with a better one. I was very fortunate to have had the support of friends and family, including financially, while I was completing my degrees; without that, I too would not have been able to finish. Likewise, anti-intellectualism and the idea that all information is created equal, that academic expertise doesn't matter, that all intellectuals/college professors must be secretly lying to you for the power trip, etc., is something that often turns up in left-leaning as well as right-leaning spaces (see, uh, Tumblr, which tends to think that whatever is empirically true is whatever aligns with their favorite belief). So I have to push back on that as well as the rest of it, if that makes sense.

[kurjakani]

hey I'm too shy to ask off anon but do you have tips on finding illustrator work in finland. I have zero marketable skills besides drawing but I have NO idea how to find people who want to hire me

(Im gonna answer in eng since you msgd in eng but im gonna tag this w fintags in case someone has extra tips- im a super beginner in my work area so im sure there's other more compitent ppl out here who might wanna add answers etc? :0)

OK SO IM SUPER W U im like ass at anything that isnt art, like, i tried a lot of other stuff before i succumbed to doing graphic design/art as a job bc i just did so bad at everything. Which, im sure ill be doing a bunch of other stuff on the side throughout my life because IT. IS NOT EASY!!! ITS A SUPER HARD JOB TO GET WORK IN!!! I mean im on the medicore side as an artist so it might just be me but LMFAO. I dont wanna scare you off but it is tough HOWEVER. yes there are things you can do ill readmore this tho

I think the easiest to get into IS like. private commission work. The usual "drawing ocs or fandom stuff" for people. It requires a lot of self marketing- building a platform, making your art a desirable object. Im planning personally 2 open comms again after my current gig is done, and ive been hearing good stuff about the small business options osuuspankki offers- re: being able to do the billing via paypal &helping w the taxing which makes overseas work a LOT easier to figure out. I cant swear on them personally tho since i have not used their services before, but i can give more info in abt a month when Im planning on looking into them more! So. Online market yourself. (you can ask further on this but this post would be too long if i get into that, also im not like a master of this), commission work. PRICE YOUR STUFF RIGHT, Look into how long it takes you to make your pieces and create an approx. price based on your hours spent working. And then price higher.

As for a lot of the stuff i do&post about here. I personally DID start w education, which, i am incredibly lucky I could. I studied graphic design/illustration in Ikaalinen, its a really great school which i can recommend if that is an option for you. I could talk abt it more but I think the main things i got from that education was a) making connections b) learning how printing works which is INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT. If you want to work in book illustrations which i have done, I recommend looking into the technical aspects of printing on your own. You can learn it online definetly. As for connections, thats a little tougher, but really anything beyond for me has been. Just making a portfolio & CV and emailing and asking for work. Its tedious and annoying but yeah.. Other options im aware of for illustration work is like. in advertizing (though its kinda rare to do ILLUSTRATION), game companies (theres a lot of other stuff you need 2 learn there tho)... Ik some ppl sell their illustrated products eg. stickers, prints etc, but idk anything abt that section. In finland its rly tough bc you rly dont. I like got curious and just googled "kuvitus töitä" and yeah theres just Nothing. It is abt looking for where illustrations could be (looking for small book publishers, looking for childrens books writers specifically and reaching out to them, etc etc) and reaching out and being a pushy bitch its AWFUL its my least favourite part of this job but it is. Yeah..

[aerithisms]

hi! I just wanted to share my 2 cents about your aerith post and her screen time bc after I finished the game I shared the same sentiment, but after 2 weeks of thinking, rewatching and analysing cut scenes (this game lives rent free in my head now), I realized why they pace her arc the way they did. basically her arc deals with her duty as cetra and coming to terms w/ it. however there wouldn't be any progression if she was already resolved to do it, hence at the beginning of rebirth we have aerith who is happy to start her adventure w/ her new friends (the one she wanted to go w/ her mom as we learn from her trial, so her moment of joy after leaving kalm feels even more deep). but as we continue we can see the mix of inner struggles that resides in her: being last cetra, trying to moving on from zack and dealing w/ dark thoughts about hojo. her Costa del Sol scene suggests that she'll learn how to deal w/ all of that and she believes it'll make her a better person in the future (in some way it has come true bc aerith sacrifices her life and any chance to spend it w/ ppl she loves, and of all things she wanted exactly this). despite that it doesn't cancel her desire to have a normal life and enjoy every moment while she can (in the same Costa del Sol ch. where everyone leaves the beach you can see aerith lingering and watching the sunset as she tries to take it all in for the last time). I think starting from Cosmo canyon her resolve comes into form bc she admits about the loneliness she had to face. At the temple she's willing to learn how to control lifestream (even tho you can see moments when she's upset when it doesn't work out). and at the end she's resolved to fulfill her duty not bc she's a cetra but bc of her friends.

This way you learn to care about her as a person and not just her role as a chosen one. also it's just my personal impression that the devs didn't want her to be a walking sign of death to preserve that feeling of her loss. instead they tease the player the idea of saving her to via marlene, red xiii and partially zack scenes (which feels even more cruel imho).

i can definitely appreciate your perspective!! to clarify i didn't want her to be fully formed in her identity and duty as a cetra at the beginning of the game, and this sort of arc about her learning to explore that side of herself more was in fact exactly what i wanted, i just feel the game doesn't really address it as much as i wish it did. like besides the cosmo canyon fire scene and the last couple chapters there's not a lot there and you're left to infer a little too much imo. i would've liked to see aerith voice her feelings about it to someone more so that we could get inside her head about it. nanaki would've been great since he has a similar connection to the planet/responsibility to uphold the legacy of his people, or tifa since she and aerith confide so much in each other already. or even cloud! that could've brought more attention to their relationship in the narrative so it wasn't so sparse.

i do get that they don't want it to be obvious she'll die for new players but by the same token i sort of feel like if they were that concerned about that they wouldn't have had marlene straight up say sephiroth is gonna kill her. by and large this game's story feels targeted at a primary audience of people who've already played ff7 so i don't know that i feel that's a good enough justification not to explore all the facets of her character in more depth while they could.

that being said i absolutely agree that i love her arc about her connection to the party and how she clearly struggles with but ultimately is able to accept her fate because of how much she loves them and how much they brought to her life. i thought that was really beautiful and heartfelt. and for all my griping i did sob over the ending so it's not like these critiques i have ruined the emotional impact overall!

[thestobingirlie]

i saw this post saying that eddie is v intelligent but is "actively being failed by the system" and it's just so irritating. like we don't even technically know why eddie struggled so much in school. it's not implied that it's tied to satanic panic or biases against him or his family life or him potentially being neurodivergent (and that fact that immediately after eddie's big speech about how oppressed he is bc he plays dnd he never connects that to his issues w school is telling imo) - we just know that eddie seriously struggles w school and that's not 1:1 w intelligence but it's also not 1:1 w this idea that he's being "actively failed by the system." the post then went on to say that he's never deliberately mean or cruel and that he's not a bully. like,,, we watch eddie be deliberately mean in real time on our screens to lucas. tbh i would also say it toes the line into bullying. i would also say eddie's lunch time rants toe the line into bullying considering the way he goes at ppl and the fact that this doesn't seem surprising to any hellfire members indicates it's a regular occurrence. not even getting into how he treated erica which is literally standard mean gatekeeping male nerd behavior. whenever i see stuff like this i yearn for a fic where eddie tries his bullshit w steve and steve pops his ego like a balloon. or anyone does that to eddie bc so many fics have every character revering him or treating him like a delicate flower and i am so tired.

oh yeah, i got a long ask defending eddie against the bully allegations, and it’s just like, even if we say that screaming at people and shaming their interests isn’t bullying, he still didn’t treat other people very well, and we just can’t deny that! it’s something that he improved upon during the season. but i think because we spent so little time with eddie in s4, people just don’t seem to recognise that he grew? him acknowledging that steve isn’t who eddie thought he was, is supposed to be eddie’s big moment of realising that he was wrong about the way he interpreted the world. it’s not a scene that shows eddie was always super accepting! but some people seem to take it that way.

and yeah, the way some fics write eddie pre-s4, it’s like they just want him to be the boy that has suffered and been persecuted most in the entire world. and that’s just kinda boring. to me.

[sinkableruby]

mini meta

spoiler talk for monogatari up til zoku

i wanna talk about oddities in monogatari so im just gonna dump my current thoughts n developing ideas on it rq theyre like the big conceit of the series and i think the most common reading is of them as representing mental illness-- but i dont think it can be simplified to this so easily. they are also things like gods, myths, which suggests to me the idea of God/gods existing in the self. but also they are people a lot of the time too:

the series tends to humanize the oddities, giving them personalities and even often shifting to the perspective of one (noticing this a lot in the light novels esp). so they are subjectified. but at the same time they are objectified: they often act to fulfill a set purpose, what they were created to do, some kind of function, which can be most clearly seen with oddities like kako, the weight crab, the rainy devil. so they flow between subject and object... making me think they represent a kinda abject in a way. abject being something of the Other the "I" recognizes in itself-- and feels horror or disgust in that recognition...

theres also a really interesting aspect to how oddities r connected w the idea of deviant identities-- ppl who are different from the norm and subvert it simply by virtue of being themselves, and are thus Otherized and demonized by society and shunted under the system. clearest example that comes to mind for this is ougi. ougi represents a deviant existence, as they are an "unknown" that gaen sees as dangerous and seeks to get rid of. not to mention their genderqueerness. but i think also notably, they are created as an entity of critique, and as such represent a critique of the norms of society. they r also an oddity composed of ALL oddities (bc of the whole thing with shishirui seishirou), so this is suggesting to me that monogatari is definitely linking oddities with the idea of a deviant or norm-defying identity. i think this is part of why i like them so much. i think this is also where the idea of the darkness could come into play, as a kind of symbol of societal norms and dominant culture subsuming everything. it exists to uphold the Rules but those Rules kinda suck ngl. it absorbs and subsumes everything as a 'nonexistence--' but it IS there. society isnt smth u can touch but it certainly has a heavy impact on everyone. and the oddities have always been societal, existing within people, so it makes sense that the darkness as the judge of oddities would be connected there too. this is kinda another point for ougi in terms of representing identities defying the norm (and therefore, for the idea of oddities in general representing identities defying the norm). ougi is a quasi-darkness, and imitates the role of the darkness, but obv they do not acc share values with the darkness. so in imitating the role of the darkness but not the values, it serves as a critique of the darkness. which is followed up on during ougi dark, where she faces the disapproval of the darkness but ultimately survives the encounter. their whole existence, then, subverts the darkness and critiques it-- literally by continuing to exist it is a statement against the darkness that would have had them erased. in being a quasi-darkness they are a critique of the darkness And a better darkness Than the actual darkness. kaiki is that you lol but that kind of subversion of the norm, of the Rules and Laws, just by existing, is simply incredibly queer. ougi, who in a way represents oddities in general, being this super subversive person and being suggests to me that oddities in general represent the 'oddness' inside a person, the oddness that disrupts the conventions of society.

and that also kinda gets back into the abject too. people are not like, things to be fit into boxes. people are fucking weird, and even if they try to fit into the boxes dictated by their societies, meeting the oddity is undeniable proof of the Other, the subversion of the norm, the deviancy within them. its too late in other words your gender has been transed not my fault! sorry i was too gender for you i guess lol!

um. yeah