#i think it also doesn't help that i have low empathy so if someone told me they needed something back bcs that was a familys dying gift

[eclaire-went-bam]

morals are so confusing sometimes. it's not like i'm trying to do anything malicious, it just doesn't occur to me that most people see these things as bad — to me, some things are just kind of a means to an end and if nobody gets genuinely hurt idrc ??

if i let someone borrow something and they're not giving it back, i don't really see anything wrong with telling a lie about the importance of that item to guilt trip someone into giving it back (eg, so & so gave this to me before they died & it's rlly important to me so i really would appreciate it if i got this back soon ...). not because i want to go outta my way to make someone feel bad, but that's just how i view the world. they are probably maliciously keeping my stuff, so just talking to them wouldn't be enough. so why shouldn't i?

i don't see an issue in hacking into my parents email so i can get the verification code for a family streaming service, it takes me a really long time for it to click that actually People Don't Like Someone Going Thru Their Private Stuff even though i'm not trying to find anything but the verification email

type of things that i don't really realise could genuinely upset someone until i think about it a lot and ask someone for their opinion. i could realistically just ask and communicate better, but i often fall into the pit on never relying on anybody to do something when i put a task in their hands. that will only end up hurting or disappointing me.

oftentimes in trying to watch my own back and keep myself safe from nonexistent problems, i somehow create them

[wutheringskies]

everyone is like: if wei wuxian told everyone he gave his core to Jiang Cheng, all of this wouldn't have happened!

me: if he told jiang cheng, it would be WORSE.

consider these points:

Jiang Cheng was a newly appointed sect leader, hell-bent on revenge, finally surpassing others. He would emotionally break if he finds out it's all because of Wei Wuxian's core. He wouldn't want to lose it; but Wei Wuxian holding that over his head will make it terrible for him; rage, tantrums; in that war-time would have literally robbed him of his senses.

This is a war. If some people find out Wei Wuxian doesn't have a core, what's stopping the enemy from finding out? Even so, there would be people who wish to kill the ever-powerful son of a servant. The hundreds-hole curse could only succeed because Jin Zixun had low cultivation. Think of how many enemies (Wens, and the others) Wei Wuxian had. They don't dare curse him because 1) they believe he has superior cultivation and 2) if he comes for revenge with his stygian tiger seal and chenqing, it simply wouldn't be worth it. So, high risk and low reward. but in actuality, if someone did curse him, without a core to cleanse him, it would be fatal!

As the "son of a servant" and "wielder of immense power," his place in the cultivation world was already unstable. If they find out he doesn't even have a core, he cannot stay in the cultivation world! If he leaves, then there's no protection guaranteed for him from those who wish to claim his power anyway!

Literally, the only ones who would genuinely care would be Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli. And what could they do? Lan Xichen would be sympathetic, but when has sympathy saved lives when there's no follow-up action? Nie Mingjue would commend his sacrifice, but will he save the Wens? Nope. Nobody would magically go like, "oh, let us help wei wuxian who doesn't have a core tragically."

Among the general public, would anyone look at it as anything other than a grand sacrifice for his superior? "Wei Wuxian is really loyal," and when he saves the Wens, it would go down the path of, "Can't believe he betrayed the Jiang Clan."

The only one who wished to know the why's and the how's and the reasoning behind it all was Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, who would try his utter best; but Wei Wuxian himself was so powerful. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan were powerful. Wen Qing and Wen Ning were also powerful. All the righteous people had tragic ends - if Lan Wangji was allowed to know, he would push harder at Wei Ying. But will Wei Ying accept it? Will he feel a certain disregard of respect? A lack of trust from Lan Wangji because they dont have the fundamentals down?How can it magically make things alright, when their issues go deeper than Wei Wuxian being on an "unorthodox path"? So, who's to say, even if Lan Wangji realized it all, somehow forced himself into Wei Wuxian's space when Wei Wuxian did not want it with some OOC syndrome, but even then what can he do? In the end, rather than just one, both would die. The odds are bad when it's 1 vs 3000, but is it much better if it's 2 vs 3000?

Wei Wuxian's arrogance protected the secret that would've signed him out of the war, out of the cultivation world. The fear people had for him protected him. Even after his death, they only noticed the annihilation of minor clans because "oh no yllz is here to take revenge!" If he acted weak and approachable and sad, just how few would hold true empathy compared to all the many that would see an opportunity to strike? Whoever wields power, speaks out, and is from an unproveleged background yet sitting among the gentry is already an outcast.

The only way he wouldn't have died were if he were someone who bowed to servitude, if he kept quiet, if he counted his losses and gains like Jin Guangyao. Will this harm me? Yes. So I cannot do it.

That's not Wei Wuxian.

"Let gains and losses remain uncommented upon." If the whole world wishes to kill innocents to satiate their own hatred then the whole world is wrong, and he won't stand up for it - whether or not, he has a romantic relationship with Lan Wangji early, or if he's actual siblings with the Jiangs (like actually adopted.)

Whether he wields a sword or his flute or nothing at all; whether he's loved or hated, he is bound to be resented by those who are hypocrites. The loss of his golden core won't shake them with empathy, but mockery not just towards him, but towards Jiang Wanyin as well.

"Congratulations, Jiang Cheng, for killing the man who killed your entire family (false, but you know) and was unrighteous!"

"But isn't the Jiang Clan only alive because of Wei Wuxian's core?"

"Jiang Wanyin is such a loser; he took his servant's core."

That would be a fucking literal nightmare. That is why, Wei Wuxian doesn't say a word or whine or cry. He probably thought he could wait until Jiang clan is in a better spot and tell only Jiang Cheng, but by then, he'd already been caught up in the Wen's situation.

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

___

297. Almond by Sohn Won-Pyung & Joosun Lee (Translator)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Did I enjoy this book? If I say that I listened to this audiobook and then went and bought the physical book as a trophy, would that be enough to show how much I enjoyed this book?

I wasn't sure what to expect from ALMOND, especially because it was recommended in a batch of other recommendations that were either low-ratings or DNFs. But I'm so glad I gave it a shot because it was an incredible read with, ironically, a lot of heart.

The MC is teen boy who was diagnosed with a disorder that leaves him without the ability to understand emotions. As tragedy strikes his small family, the truth of his situation is made even more obvious. That horrible moment sets off a chain of events that will lead the MC to incredible character growth and, in some ways, showcases him showing more empathy and understanding than others who CAN feel emotions.

ALMOND isn't the kind of book where I'd say I loved the relationships the MC cultivates, but I did appreciate them and the role they played in helping him grow. One of his childhood friendships is slightly abusive, but because the MC is so straight-forward, I was able to look past that and see the friendship through his eyes. The character in question is morally questionable, but his intentions (when stripped of all emotion) were things that made that friendship worthwhile.

There were many moments of prejudices, assumptions, abuse, and grief, but because it is from the perspective of someone who lacked emotion, the story felt strangely candid. I really, really enjoyed this book and it definitely left me thinking about how the world is and how heavily it depends on emotions and the perception of situations BASED on those emotions.

I highly recommend this one for anyone looking for a unique story in translation and for anyone who wants a very interesting exploration of grief.

___

298. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Andy Weir will always be an auto-buy author for me. I don't know if I'll get to his books right away, but you bet that book will always be preordered.

After hearing so many good things about PROJECT HAIL MARY, I finally told myself to start reading Weir's latest. The hype doesn't lie--just like with THE MARTIAN, weird somehow made a book heavy with science and tech talk feel like a hilarious adventure.

For anyone who wasn't a big fan of Weir's second novel, keep in mind that this one is more in line with THE MARTIAN, just definitely a bit more science fiction. Weir's famous wit is mixed into some seriously interesting science as the MC races to save the world from a sun-ending parasite. The way that the past and present were braided together made the story flow so well and I liked that we slowly had information given to us AND the MC.

I really loved the connection between the characters in the present time, and enjoyed the back and forth of the characters in the past. That wit and banter in both made me laugh a few times, or at least smile. And despite this being a bit of a lengthier read, it flowed so well! (The only reason why there is such a gap in my reading is because I had to pause and focus on other books first). But even as I was reading the other books, I couldn't stop think about this one and what would happen to the MC and his new friend.

While THE MARTIAN will always be my favourite by Weir, this one is a close second. It had that fun energy that his debut had and kept me hooked. The MC and his new friend were great together and I loved their bond of their need to protect each others' homes.

I highly recommend this one if you're looking for a science fiction book that isn't too heavily science fiction, save for a few aspects, but could also technically be speculative fiction set in space.

___

299. The Stars Beneath Our Feet by David Barclay Moore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE STARS BENEATH OUR FEET was one of those books that I went into fully blind and without any sort of hype. It has lived on my bookshelf for years and I finally picked it up in an attempt to tackle my physical book collection.

There were times where I almost DNFed because I was wary of the MC and how his grief was driving him down a very not-nice road. I find that even though these books are sometimes tough reads, I do appreciate them being middle grade reads because it will hopefully help a young teen who is in need of reading a similar experience in their lives.

But ultimately, I loved the character growth. I liked that the MC takes accountability for his actions and although he ends up making decisions that work better for him, he still has his human moments where his questions what is right and what is wrong. And through it all, we see his best friendship grow and face some pretty heavy obstacles. We also see him making a new and unexpected friend and I really liked how that was approached and that representation.

The messiness of grief is also a big topic in this book, and also the queer representation that wasn't made into a plot line but was just a fact was refreshing.

I thought this book was also a great allegory for following your dreams even when everyone else thinks they know what you need or want. At the age that the MC is, a lot of people think they're the ones with the power to determine what a kid should or shouldn't do with their lives, but I liked that he made his own decisions--even if they were difficult choices in the end.

I think this would be a great read for anyone who loves LEGO, anyone who wants stories that explore grief and how it affects a family, and the difficult decisions made when one lives in a community full of gang violence and at-risk youth.

___

300. I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Definitely one of those books I had to restart a couple of times, read the synopsis to remind myself why I was reading it (LOL), and then had to sit with while listening to the notes at the end of the audiobook.

This book hits hard and I ended up getting hooked on it. I feel like this is definitely one of those books that could be read more than once in the future. It was such an incredibly powerful read. It was such an interesting take on humanity and how lonely it can feel, even when surrounded.

There were definitely some jarring moments, but the way everything was described made it so easy to see everything in my mind. I could easily imagine the land the women explored and the way everything started changing as time went on.

I think one of the most fascinating things about this book was how we get to see the story form from such a young perspective and then we watch her grow and see how the perception of her world changes. She has a wholly different experience than the other women, simply because of her age. We get to see how the idea of womanhood changes throughout the years as she navigates this strange world, which is something that the other characters never really get to do.

The end of the audiobook had some great commentary on the novel and offered deeper explanations of the themes in I WHO HAVE NEVER KNOWN MEN. Some of the important points centred around consumerism, feminism, and sexuality.

Overall, though the story itself feels bleak, there's a certain level of hope that you can't help but feel for this lonely character. And though learning where they could be was certainly a twist, it could also be a sign of new beginnings away from the humanity that kept them encaged.

___

301. Forgotten Romance by Saxon James--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm so sad to see this series end!!!! These two idiots were so in love.

This was one of my more anticipated reads in this series and while it wasn't a favourite, I still loved their love story. It wasn't as spicy as the other books, but the tension and chemistry was there between the two.

I loved seeing the side characters and the kids were hilarious and adorable. I found the ending a little too easy BUT I still liked it.

I'm really sad to see this series end, especially because there was one character who deserved an HEA. But I'm excited to see what new series Saxon James does next!

___

302. The Black Girl Survives in This One by Various--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE BLACK GIRL SURVIVES IN THIS ONE was at times hilarious (because of the twist in the usual cliches), entertaining, and terrifying. Some stories were better than others, but overall the collection was a great exploration of how we perceive Black characters in horror. I loved the intro to the stories because it expressly mentions the portrayal of Black characters in horror media, so you kind of have a very clear picture of what's coming next.

First, I want to say that it was very refreshing knowing that no matter how dire the situation was in a story, the Black character survived. Not a spoiler, it's literally in the title.

That first story HOOKED me, it was my favourite and immediately creeped me out. I think that of all the stories, that one was the one that really scared me. I remember I was listening to the audiobook at night, while brushing my teeth, and I had to pause what I was doing to fully feel that terror that crept in during the story. The reveal of said story had me wondering if I had locked the doors of the house and the twist at the end had me yelling out because while not wholly unpredictable, it was just such a classically great ending to a scary story.

As I mentioned before, some stories were better than others and some were outright weird. Some stories I wish we had for longer moments than a few pages in an anthology, while others I thought were too long.

Overall, if you're looking for a scary anthology for this upcoming Halloween season, I highly recommend this one. You get a good dose of terror with your social awareness of how media treats characters that aren't caucasian. You'll especially feel this when a certain group of people become the victims in these stories.

___

303. The Pairing by Casey McQuiston--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE PAIRING is probably the spiciest book McQuiston has written, but in my opinion, it's also the most sensual. I really liked how they wrote this story and how they presented this relationship. I liked how messy the characters were, but how they found each other in their own unique way.

And trust me, I know this can be polarizing--the conflict of their love and how they find themselves in the end.

But I loved it. I loved the back and forth and the sexual tension that kept building and building as the book progressed. The travel and the wine and the food--these were all aphrodisiacs for a relationship that shuns the conventional ways of viewing a relationship. I remember it took me a moment to adjust to the idea that these two characters were so sexually active after their relationship ended because past romances have (falsely) taught me to believe that the only way to show love is to be abstinent until the reconnection happens. But not every great romance is the same.

I genuinely loved their sexual chemistry and how their relationship evolved into what it is by the end of the book. They are literally on a tour of over-indulgence so it's only fair that they over-indulge.

But beyond the chemistry, I genuinely enjoyed the commentary on the food and wine. It was informative and gave the book an interesting fullness so the story didn't solely focus on the romance. I felt like I was going on tour with these two and was enjoying their company along the way.

The star loss comes from a few things. One being how the miscommunication was once again a star player in this romance. While I DID love learning about their history together, I thought it should have been a strong enough history for them to communicate beyond the initial misunderstanding.

Another reason for the loss of the star is that I felt this one was a little on the long side. There were moments that would fly past, but then I'd hit these patches where the story would just lag and it ruined the rhythm of the book for me. Overall, this felt like one of those books where I felt every hour passing of the audiobook, whereas there are some books where I don't even notice the time passing.

Overall, I really enjoyed the characters and their romance. I liked them individually too and how much they showcased their growth after their breakup. One of the best things McQuiston did for this book was making it have a dual-POV narrative. Reading this from the other side added a wholly different level of angst for the romance between the two MCs.

I'd recommend this if you love travel, food, wine, and a whopping amount of sexual tension. While it isn't the spiciest book on the market, it definitely has a very fun sensual element. It presents an interesting side of sexual connectivity that we don't often see in traditionally published books and, trust me, my pansexual self was very content with some of the things mentioned in this book.

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304. The Pumpkin Spice Café by Laurie Gilmore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Honestly, this was cute but not spicy enough to get that "spicy romance" byline.

This was, for all intents and purposes, a hallmark movie put into a book. The romance was kind of quick and didn't have a lot of body to it. The MMC is self-aware enough to know that he tends to fall too hard and fast, so I was surprised (not) when he falls so heavily for the FMC.

I always find it fascinating how certain books get hyped up for their spiciness and then only have a couple of scenes of spice. It's not that I want a book with a lot of spice--I enjoyed this for what it was--but I know some people will jump into this one and be disappointed.

The story itself was cute and cavity sweet. The romance was a little insta-romancey, but it had a surprising mystery. While everything was a bit predictable, it was still fun to guess with the characters to see whodunit. This added layers to the story that made it harder to put down.

My biggest gripe is with the FMC and how much of a pushover she was during the whole thing. Someone does something scary around her store? Let me not call the cops because I don't want to be a nuisance! Her decision-making skills were truly something else. And you're telling me this woman was once the secretary of a CEO? Please. He would have eaten her alive.

And back to the spice--this wasn't closed door, but like, the scenes were BBQ chips level of spice. They were quick and just...shrug.

But again, I didn't stay for the spice. This was a cute romance I'd recommend for Autumn reading. LOL I HAVE ALREADY ORDERED THE OTHERS. Don't judge me too much.

___

Happy reading!

[swoosbadfuture]

ian mckinley (FD3) is autistic here's why

i orginally wrote this for twitter for autism awareness day but my friend said to post it on tumblr so . throws this to the masses no particular order im kinda just rambling . i have autism myself a lot of this will be relating to My personal exprience being autistic and why Ian sticks out to me and is a character I feel seen by :) -- Ian seems to have low empathy for others. Not that he doesn't care - he very much does and I will get to that too - but rather he struggles to relate to people on an emotional level prefering to use logic instead of emotion. Hell his first line in the movie is he alongside Erin trying to reassure Wendy that she'll be fine on the rollercoaster.

Though unlike Jason, their approach is more logic and reason based. Using facts and logic to communicate their point > saying something like "hey, it's okay to feel scared, but you'll be fine". And like many autistic people including myself who do this it's kinda regarded as him being rude/a smartass by those around him. When his intentions were entirely the opposite and he was actually just trying to be helpful.

Something personally I relate to a lot. I've been told countless times that I "don't need to be a smartass" when just trying to use logic to deflate a problem because, to me, it makes more sense than being emotional about it.

Ian trying to find logic in things is shown again in the scene where Wendy and Kevin come to warn he and Erin about death's design. Ian is completely opposed to the idea that death could possibly be a thinking or feeling entity. Again he isn't trying to be a smartass or be sassy about it, just trying to work out what the fuck Wendy and Kevin are on about because to him? It makes no logical sense.

He's very rooted in his beliefs and even when he choses to humour Wendy and Kevin he still takes a logical approach and tries to make sense of it in a way that makes sense to him. Even coming up with a solution that would seem most logical.

And yet again, he's treated like a bit of an asshole for it. It's not like he grabbed Wendy and shook her and told her to die no he just accepts this. He might have low empathy but he's still understanding.

Ian actually seems to care a lot about people. Especially Erin, who he's closest to in the movie, but this care extends even to Ashley and Ashlyn. Who he very likely wasn't friends with judging by how he and Erin laugh at them when they try to invite Wendy to the tanning salon.

But he cares, still, and has a very strong sense of justice. His interruption at the funeral is a prime example of this. You can see him dwelling on it for a moment before he speaks. He's not speaking up because he wants the attention, he's not trying to cause drama, he's just upset. Because to him, even as people who he wasn't close with, Ashley and Ashlyn's deaths were unfair and the fact that someone is trying to suggest otherwise just set him off.

If he was doing it for attention or to cause drama he would've put up more of a fight when Kevin and Lewis got him to leave. But he doesn't. He's probably pretty aware that what he did was wrong but the need to speak up outweighed that in the moment. Something again that I can relate to heavily. If something is unfair you will know about it. And people with autism often have strong senses of justice.

Ian also has very few people he's close with. Erin being his closest friend possibly even Only. Hence why her death impacted him as much as he did. He may not have been Wendy's best friend or anything but he did trust her and get along with her. So when Erin dies - a death that only occurs because Wendy interrupted his death causing it to skip to Erin - it feels like a betrayal. An injustice against someone he cared deeply about.

And that feeling of betrayal coupled with the fact Erin died so awfully is what drives him to act so irrationally.

His whole thing at the tricentennial was almost like a meltdown or at the very least an all-reason-out-the-window moment and god as someone who's autistic and frequently misunderstood by people / misunderstanding people leading to moments of severe anger and lashing out... i get it man i get you Ian.

Think. Erin died horribly less than 24 hours ago. It's fresh in his mind. He's focused so so heavily on Wendy being there, thinking about how unfair it is. Wondering "Why could Wendy save me but not Erin?". He's acting irrationally, he isn't thinking. Hell he sounds like he's on the verge of crying. And again I get it I GET that. When I feel something wrong has been done to me / someone I love I tend to fixate on that person and place blame onto them and act very irrationally about it.

Lastly I'm also 99% sure Ian never makes direct eye contact with anyone in this movie for longer than 5 seconds. So.

He's just a bit silly and him being autistic means a lot 2 me. end of thread . god hes just like me for real.

[resinfossil]

Bartimaeus Sequence headcanons

Faquarl is extremely touch-starved. Someone please give this poor djinni a hug.

Queezle is fifth-level. I don't have much evidence to back this up, I just get the feeling that her power level is somewhere between Bart's and Faquarl's, closer to Bart than to Faquarl. The little evidence I do have amounts to "Bartimaeus seems to be most likely to befriend humans and spirits who are stronger than him"

Most if not all of the protagonists are autistic. Yes, including Bartimaeus. (More on this in a later post)

Ptolemy has a protective streak of his own, we just don't get to see that much of it in canon because he also knows damn well that his djinn are all far more qualified to handle physical threats than he is

Ptolemy has low empathy (for humans at least). Yes he's compassionate, but empathy is not the same thing as compassion and he is absolutely terrible at predicting how people will react to things.

Bartimaeus has ADHD. Let's be real here, do I even need to explain my reasoning for this? If you went up to someone who'd interacted with him for any significant length of time and you so much as told them what ADHD stands for, I bet they would immediately think of Bartimaeus. (Also, "energetic but unreliable" is totally magician-speak for "has potential but doesn't apply himself")

Bartimaeus was friends with Asmoral and Ianna. We all know he'll get attached to just about anyone who's willing to get attached to him, and we also know Asmoral and Ianna were at least willing to bond with each other. Plus he mentioned them both by name in that one footnote, so he probably knew them personally rather than just hearing about what happened afterwards.

When Bartimaeus is talking about something emotionally painful and he picks at his nails or shrugs his shoulders, he's not actually doing it to seem aloof. It's a handy side effect, sure, but that's not why he's doing it. The real reason he does it is because he's learned that having a physical distraction helps a lot when you're trying not to cry.

[indigo-scarf]

Heyy! So, I’ve been on a 8+ month slump with my fic because I have scenes of Draco with his mates and I'm just unable to make them flow because I can't for the life of me capture Crabbe and Goyle’s voices & dynamic, so I was wondering… How do you see Crabbe and Goyle’s personalities? <3

Wow, ok, this was worth the wait. I'm flattered you asked me <3

Thinking about this (and searching potter-search.com) I realised Crabbe & Goyle never speak through the first 6 books, so no wonder it's hard to write them interacting (it's like they're actors who couldn't be given speaking roles due to the show's low budget lol). All they do is eat a lot, play dirty as Beaters, follow Draco around, laugh at everything he says, and look menacing while Draco bullies his victims.

The scene in CoS when Polyjuiced Harry & Ron talk to Draco gives an idea of how their interactions are expected to go: Draco talks while they listen, and Draco gets mad if they don't give him exactly the reaction he wants (he even outright tells them "I want to show you something really funny," and then "Don't you think it's funny?").

The one time one of them speaks is in the Fiendfyre DH chapter, when Crabbe turns on Draco and says he won't take orders from him anymore. That bit is what informed my entire idea of them: Crabbe is only in it for the status, so once Draco loses that he's worthless to Crabbe. And then I headcanon Goyle, for the contrast, as having genuine devotion, admiration, and affection for Draco.

Maybe Crabbe is more ambitious, trying to use Draco as a means to his own social ascension; maybe he grows resentful of Draco's bossing him around over the years, something that was already implied in HBP when Draco tells him, "Look, it’s none of your business what I’m doing, Crabbe, you and Goyle just do as you’re told and keep a lookout!" (also, he reads a comic and he and Blaise snarl at each other in HBP).

Goyle, meanwhile, takes pride in being Draco's servant, simultaneously being his protector and someone he was gracious enough to take under his wing.

But also both of them are teenage boys who enjoy laughing at Draco's cruel shenanigans. I think the key is striking a balance between side A: Draco doesn't treat them as equals, they're trying to extract value from one another, they don't have real emotional intimacy, and side B: they do have some (sick & twisted) fun together, and they're children.

Then there's also the matter of Neville saying they are good at and enjoy using the Cruciatus on other students under the Carrows. I don't have a formed headcanon about it, but it might be worth considering what exactly was going on in their minds to make teens lose or shut away all empathy like that, beyond JKR's "see, they're just spiritually eeeevil".

I've never written Crabbe, but I've written Goyle (speaking! and thinking!) in One Night and Something Old, Something New. Hope this helps 💖

[ihopesocomic]

That low-empathy anon made me see red a little because like. As an autistic person with low empathy towards people, like really low at times, I'm gonna hope they aren't thinking this about like, other autistic people with such a thing, or adhd folks who have low empathy (Heck, my sister does too). Not to go on a tangent but Storm having low empathy made me so happy, because sometimes I never notice other people's feelings. I'm also a lot of an ass ngl, I have a really hard time being considering of people's feelings, or even feeling what I think I'm supposed to feel in situations. If you told me why am I not crying at a family member's death when other people are I'd be bothered af because wow thanks, but that doesn't make me a .... psychopath. Wow, and you're talking about being ableist, anon. There are actual psychopathic people that exist I am SO TIRED of people throwing that around and I don't even have psychopathy =3=)

Nobody deserves less kindness just because they don't process/notice others emotions the way 'normal' empathetic people do. Nor are those that question said low empathy obligated to be close to us. All we ask is to like, understand it and be patient. The complete lack of empathy towards us that struggle with it don't help one bit. Ironic even.

It makes Hope's patience and willing to banter with Storm's lack of said empathy when we saw it nice to see because I'd give for someone like that. It's upsetting yeah, but nobody with low-empathy is gonna like, secretly hurt you or something or think less of you deep down for thinking differently than us. Storm was really upfront about how she didn't get why Hope would want to live in a situation like that, and Hope gave back her piece on the matter. Hope was willing to talk to Storm about the whole pride thing. Even if it made things a little complicated and awkward given their upbringings (and Storms past experience with them as seen in the recent PMV especially, man I'd love to see that talked about eventually), Hope was willing to discuss it nonetheless. And didn't think any less of Storm afterwards.

I'd even say I have higher empathy for fictional characters than people, because I've connected with them better than actual people, and they don't question my empathy problems and blah blah, I'm rambling rn, but funny how the brain work.

@ That anon, please understand that Low empathy havers don't want to hurt you just because we don't get certain things, and we will not call you ableist if we did hurt you, that has nothing to do with our struggle with empathy, you definitely didn't make yourself look better asking that, and nobody will take being called a psychopath lightly regardless of their empathy level. So I can't say as a low-empathy haver that you are on our good graces with that ask. But please, do your research, ask folks with low empathy what it's like so that you can get different viewpoints, it's a lot more complicated than you made it sound anon, and preferably next time, do not villianize us and deem us as secretly evil or something like that after you do so. x.x

All of this. Thank you, anon, and I'm very sorry that you and others here had to be exposed to that last anon's bulllshit. Normally, we might have deleted an ask like that but sometimes this kind of stuff needs to be called out.

Oh, and if the last anon is reading this: I'm just gonna come out and say you were being ableist. Don't really care if you're disabled or not. How dare you come onto this blog and insult an entire group of real people over fictional lions. The hell is wrong with you? We're not changing our comic to be as vindictive and mean-spirited as My Pride was: deal with it. It's also real funny how the initial criticism of the comic was that it's "too much like My Pride" and now we have to read garbage about how we need more ableism "because well that's why My Pride was entertaining for me" because the comic is heading in its own direction now. Because that's 100% what this is all about. As I've said before: I'm done being nice to people who simply view our comic as the best of a bad situation because it's highly unlikely My Pride will continue. If you like My Pride for its rampant ableism and trivialising oppression for plot beats: re-watch it to your heart's content. Because we refuse to accommodate this kind of mindset and have our comic fill that weird void for you.

If anybody here thinks this kind of talk is remotely OK because "Storm and Hope's relationship doesn't have enough drama for me because they don't trade enough insults over their respective disabilities": piss off. Our comic isn't for you. - RJ

[theplottdump]

Do you relate to any of your ocs? If yes, why? 🚨 Send this to 10 simblrs you adore ❤️

I think the only answer to this is of course, that our characters will always in some way be a reflection of ourselves and our experiences. It's how we give life to characters and add that realism that helps people connect with them. While I can't personally say I relate directly to being a gay male supervillain living on a private island- I do pour quite a bit of myself into the main three of this gen.

Valerian has my anxiety and dramatic nature. When there's a problem he's either extremely level headed or he hyper focuses on the solution til said problem is solved. Sometimes we need to be pulled out of our own heads and told everything is going to be okay. Poppy is kind of a bitch, so am I. We're both very blunt people that say what we mean and mean what we say. We're Gretchen Wienerses that grew up to be Regina Georges. (This isn't even coming from me. Like 3 people have told me I'm Regina, I mean I guess???) BUT when we care about someone we're ride or die for them. Chad has my low impulse control and strong sense of empathy for others. Again, he gets tunnel vision with Valerian. We're also both a bit narcissistic with vain streaks. Confidence can be both an asset and a weakness for us.

I hope this doesn't come off as negative or anything. Hopefully it reads as more self aware. It's the negative qualities that make Characters more interesting imo. If everyone is perfect there's no story to be told.

[simp-for-enrico-maxwell]

Mental state of Enrico [headcanons]

TW: I will be talking here about some mental disorders, PTSD, coping, alcohol abuse, and SA. So if any of these are triggering for you - please skip this post.

Okay, so... Some of these are more connected to canon Enrico, but some of them are inclining towards Enrico from my fanfics/the way I portray him. Which means that you can have different point of view, and that's valid! After all - these are just headcanons.

• I should start with the fact, that I diagnosed Maxwell with narcissistic personality disorder. I won't list all of the symptoms, just a brief description of this disorder: “mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.” - Feel like there is no need for further explanation, but if you want to read more, here is a link for the source

• But it would be boring to see him struggle just with this, right??? So of course that I added SA and harassment from a priest/member of Iscariot. Yeah, yeah, I know it's kinda a basic, over-used trope, but I just felt like adding this to his backstory, because I like to dive into psychological stuff and I seriously wanted to write what kind of impact this had on Maxwell.

• In my storyline he had been harassed since like six to thirteen/fourteen, till he started locking the door of his room. (It was during the time, he was already living in Iscariot headquarters because he had been in the training for a while.) And he was mostly molested in his sleep, because the said priest had somnophilia aka “sleeping princess syndrome”.

• I feel like I don't have to explain why Enrico never told anyone. - Because of his pride. He would feel ashamed admitting that someone did this to him, and that he was completely helpless to it. So he rather kept this to himself, “saving” himself from public embarrassment.

• I dare to say that these events gave him some sort of PTSD, which made him scared about sudden physical touch. (Especially if it's in his sleep. - That can trigger a full-on panic attack.) And nightmares are a casual thing for him, even though now they aren't that common. - So that's why he never lets anyone to get too close, and hugging is definitely NOT and option.

• He never opened about this not even to people that were close to him - Yumie and Heinkel - because he was terrified of them wanting to do something about this situation and confronting the said priest. He chose path of a loner - someone who will become the greatest man alive and will look down on all the people that did him wrong.

• Despite all of this Maxwell never thought about self-harm nor suicide. He saw these things as something pathetic and miserable, and he would never let himself to sink so low. In this he was the exact opposite - he started aiming as high as possible, to achieve power that would help him to cope. (If you are actually struggling with this: No, you are NOT pathetic nor miserable. My man is just an idiot with twisted thoughts. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, please, don’t be scared to ask for help. You matter.)

• That's also why he stayed in church/Iscariot. His view on God kinda changed (“He can't be real. If he was real... Why would he let me suffer like this?”), but he became fanatic in his own way. - Twisted man in need of power great enough to help him cope with his trauma.

• But being in charge wasn't his only way of coping. - Through the years Enrico developed another unhealthy habit, which was drinking alcohol in order to cleanse his mind. When he got the position of leader of Iscariot, he started enjoying expensive and luxury wines not only from Italy but also France. He doesn't drink every day, but when he gets in this certain state of mind, he is able to drink two or three bottles all alone.

• Since he was never taught to show his emotions nor talk about his feelings, he started bottling everything up, growing more distant and cold to everyone around him. Yet he made it look like he just grew up very quickly, and that he just became a very wise and disciplined young man.

• The only emotions he is capable of showing up are frustration, anger, and disappointment.

[whiskehorange]

Hey sweetie! I'm in a very bad mental place right now and I would really appreciate a s/o who has a depressive episode, has really low self-esteem, mainly focused on self-harm ( if u don't want to do that sort of stuff it's totally understandable) for Venom(if u want) Morticia & Gomez, Hannibal, Hellboy, Abe, Prince Nauda and maybe Sundrop 🌼 Thank you 🖤

Morticia & Gomez

Both of them loathe the place you're in mentally right now and both try to go about how to talk and approach you without seeming overbearing or overly concerned. It's much hardest for Gomez to do that both they both work together a game plan to really help you out of such a low state

Morticia is much quieter about it, but physically is there the most for you. She's always around and including you in whatever activities or hobbies she's doing and makes sure you always have something to do when she's around. Gomez, on the other hand, worries his head off about you. He tries his best to keep his composure around you and not squeeze you until you pop

Both of them try their best not to be overbearing and pushy when it comes to getting you help or helping you themselves so they give you your space if you need it, but they're always keeping an eye out for you. If you happen to be especially quiet and not with the family both of the calmly look for you to make sure you're alright. They also sort of... baby proof the house but it's nothing noticeable. You're still allowed to use knives when cooking or razors for shaving, but they have their ways of watching out

They take a lot of family time throughout the day to make sure that you're active and not in your room all day, but they give you your space if you really need it. They're an active family and drag you along all the time, even when they just stay in the house

Hannibal

Hannibal almost thrives off of your codependency and the thought of you, of everyone in the world, possibly not being by his side due to your mental health is not an option for him. Or you for that matter. If Hannibal makes up his mind about something it's going to happen. He is particular about how you spend your day quietly and inserts activities and subtle "life" talks throughout your days to hopefully help your thoughts

He has his way with words around you, but is particularly picky about how he talks to you when you confide in him about your urges and depressive, scary thoughts. There isn't another soul in the world he would think about sharing what you've told him, but if push comes to shove he will make sure you get the proper help you need if he can't do it for you (which he doesn't like to accept)

Now... I wouldn't put it past Hannibal to slowly, over the course of many months to drug you with whatever medication he sees fit to help you grow if you're spiraling particularly fast. He will take matters into his own hands, like I've said and certainly nothing is off the table if it comes to helping you better yourself with your consent or not

Thankfully for you, that is a last resort and it will likely get to that point. There is a very slim chance that he cant gaslight girlboss you into avoiding self harm in any way. But he really doesn't give you the time to even think about hurting yourself by how involved he's become in your everyday life since you've confided in him

Hellboy

He's... unsure of how to handle the situation, but does deeply care about your wellbeing. He can't recall a time where he really had to deal with these thoughts himself let alone around someone, he's lacking in the comfort department extremely. Hellboy is blockheaded, but does an oddly good job at remember just about all of the trauma and venting topics you've told him. However his blindness to comfort and empathy lead him to ask a lot of questions in the 'why' department. Why do you feel the need to hurt yourself over that?

It comes off as insensitive, absolutely, but he also doesn't mean to come off that way. There is a hefty part of his heart that needs to know why so that he can fix it, not to invalidate your struggles, God that's the last thing he'd ever want to do. So he lets you talk whenever you need to and take time off whenever you might need him. Over the next few weeks he does eye you down whenever the two of you meet in the morning or in the afternoon after work to make sure your beautiful skin is left unblemished

While he isn't too sure how to handle the burden of your emotions with relative and effective advice, his praise sees no end. There isn't a thing in the world that he could think of that he'd rather have than you and he makes sure you hear it everyday. Even if you didn't particularly do anything that day he's quick to make sure that you know that he's proud that you've made it this far

His favorite praise is to smoother you in hugs and boast about how strong you are, mentally and emotionally. Of course you're down right now but it's a minor setback that he refuses to let continue. At least not while he's around

Abe

Abe is, quiet honestly, no better in the comfort department that Hellboy is, but only because of how nervous he gets trying to explain to you how much he cares for you and your situation. He would 100% comfort and verbally praise you if he could only get the words out in the correct order. He's more likely to formulate his words better if you didn't stand so close to him, only because your depression practically radiates off of your body and he doesn't even have to touch you to know

He's quite confused on the concept of self-harm but knows the how's and why's when it comes to the human mind and mental health. He keeps a lot of the 'distasteful' questions to himself about why you would ever choose to hurt yourself, knowing that what you need is his comfort and validation, which he gives you in many many forms

Now, while Abe can't necessarily cry, he feels the overbearing urge to do something like cry whenever he grazes over your previous scars, if you have them. Especially if they are new, which he demands that he is the one that tends to them. He's a listener when you need him to be and has just about anything you cold imagine to distract yourself with in his library

He loves to teach you just about anything if it means that you're focused on that instead of self-harm. It can be a bit boring... but all you have to do is tell him so and he's got something else for the two of you to do. Of course, this goes without saying that he really pushes hydrotherapy in his own way while you're with him. You can really feel like your negative emotions are floating away from you when you're in the water

Prince Nuada

He's blunt and overbearing. At first. It takes him a bit to get the severity of your situation and things like self-harm in general, especially with the harm being inflicted for the sole purpose of... well pain. Of course he listens to you vent and go on about your trauma but sees everything so narrowly that he thinks that he has the cure for your depression. Boy will that hit him like a brick when being active and doing elf-shit doesn't work for you

Nuada is adamant about making sure that you stay away from hurting yourself even once he's grasped your mental health situation, and he's stern about it too. He's the definition of tough love but does everything in his own power to make sure that you're not alone and isolated, especially after venting to him. Comfort, once again, is not a strong suit for him but he is always physically there for you and will continue to be there for you

If he could somehow physically make you better in an instant he would, it hurts him to see scars, dull or new, on you but looks at you with soft eyes. He wants to scold you but Nuala told him that it won't do anything but add to the tension in your brain, so he doesn't say anything. Most of the time when he comforts you he doesn't say much but instead holds you and looks at you lovingly as you sob or sit there quietly

He's a massive advocate for making sure that you're always with him attending just about anything he's got on his schedule. It's one way for him to keep a heavy eye on you and your health but always a better way for him to spend time with you and get used to being a bit softer with you in the long run. He feels like the time he spends away from you adds to your negative thoughts and will not stand for him aiding in such awful behavior

Sundrop

God, you're a walking hazard to him and there's nothing he can do about it. His inability to make your smiles last and your laughter genuine when you're around him drives him off the walls quite literally. It's a lot to handle, especially when he thinks the correct way to help is to just up his energy and the pitch of his voice, it works for kids so why doesn't it work for you? Of course Sun has a different programming for working with adults but purposeful self-harm is... not quite in his protocol for adults or children

What he is good at though, fittingly, is distracting and first-aid when you need it. Blood and particularly dangerous activities are absolutely banned from the daycare, and that includes you. His job, literally, is to entertain and distract which he fully intends to do with you when you come to him for any type of comfort. He lectures you on safety and playing nice with yourself to hopefully prevent you from continuing to think about self-harm

Thankfully though, Sun is rather calm providing first aid to make sure that he doesn't worsen wounds or cause panic. He can tell that you're already particularly worked up and upset so he tries his best to be as quiet and as delicate as he can when tending to you. His softness carries over into caring for you for a bit but he inevitably slips back into hyper-ness after a while. He tends to sing to you after he cleans you up

While he does insist that you stay with him and the kids for most of the day to keep your mind occupied, he also urges you to explore other areas of the pizza plex from time to time to get out of the stuffy daycare. Of course, please come back soon or he's going to worry to death about you and eventually have a guard locate you and bring you back out of his own paranoia of loosing you

[classysassy9791]

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Humor/Fluff Pairing: InuKag Rating: T

Originally written for @inukag-week on tumblr circa 2016, now officially being updated. Its been a hot minute, hasn't it?

For InuKag Week - Day 2: Warmth

Part 1 l

Part 2 Word Count: 2,600

Can also be found on FFN and AO3.

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Kagome couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard.

Sometime between the moment she met the arrogant, rude man known as Inuyasha and the three shots she had consumed, they had fallen into a flirtatious banter that she rather enjoyed. Gone was the pompous jerk who had so rudely called her audacious names, replaced by a man who proved to actually be decent company.

No, she hadn't forgotten about their initial meeting, but as she downed another shot of whiskey, she realized she didn't much care. For the first time in months - maybe longer - Kagome found herself enjoying her evening. With her shackles removed and her inhibitions lowered, she relished in the sweet taste of freedom that had been sorely lacking from her life.

"You did not!" she squealed with absurdity in her tone, clamping a hand over her mouth.

Inuyasha chuckled, tilting his glass and giving a half-shrug. "I did," he confessed sheepishly, but not at all ashamed of his actions. "Miroku ran down the dorm hall, completely naked, screaming after me."

Kagome shook her head. "I can honestly say I have never stolen my roommates clothes while they were in the shower. Or pulled any pranks on them, really."

"To be fair," he continued, signaling the bartender for another round. "He actually met his girlfriend that way."

"By running naked down the hallway?"

He nodded. "Knocked her down and stopped to apologize."

"Still want to leave the tab open?" Kouga interrupted.

"Yeah, that's fine." Inuyasha finished off his beer. "Another round of whiskey shots while you're at it."

Flashing Kagome a smile, Kouga took their empty glasses. "You're going to dry me out."

"It's still early," Kagome barbed playfully. "Your bar will last until midnight at the very least."

He chuckled, filling up their shot glasses and handing them another drink. "Oh, thanks. I was afraid I'd have to close up soon."

Leaving with a, "flag me down if you need me," Kouga wandered to the other end of the bar where a busty blonde waved at him.

Typical, Kagome thought sourly. On the one hand, she didn't like the way her thoughts were turning, considering she didn't really know Kouga, and hated grouping him in with the rest of the spineless male population she had become accustomed to - especially since he was a bartender and it was literally his job to tend to the needs of his customers. But on the other hand, she couldn't help but feel bitter about his attention leaving her. Maybe it was because she had so blatantly been deprived of it for so long, that her longing for companionship had been exacerbated ten-fold.

Taking a sip of beer - which she had switched to once they started doing shots - Kagome heard her phone buzz in her purse again; it had already gone off several times during her conversation with Inuyasha. She finally pulled it out and unlocked it, frowning at the array of messages popping up on her screen.

Inuyasha raised a brow at the irritable look that overcame her expression before Kagome sighed and locked her phone. She quickly downed her shot of whiskey, not even bothering to 'cheers' him.

"Everything okay?" Inuyasha questioned, against his better judgement. There was a reason people showed up by themselves at a bar on Friday nights - either to drown their sorrows in whiskey or to find company for a few fleeting, midnight hours.

Kagome pressed her lips together. She didn't come to the bar to talk about her problems. She wasn't some sad case that needed a therapist to pour her drinks. If anything, she wanted to forget about the emotional damage that had been inflicted earlier that day. Her heart had been broken, her ego bruised, and no matter how many times her friends had told her he wasn't worth it, their sympathies didn't make her feel any better.

But, alcohol had a funny habit of turning into truth serum, and she found herself spilling her guts before she could stop herself. "Just my ex-boyfriend - er, fiance - blowing up my phone."

Inuyasha chuckled. "Can't take a hint, huh?"

Kagome shrugged with a bitter smile. "I mean, he broke off the engagement. Not sure why he can't follow through with his decision."

She had expected sympathy, perhaps even empathy. That's what most people offered in a situation like this, when they didn't know what to say or how to react. But Kagome was caught off-guard by Inuyasha's next question.

"How long were you together?"

Kagome eyed him curiously, his honey gaze hiding a wealth of understanding. "Five years," she answered him, twirling a strand of her dark hair around her finger. "Planned our life together, put a ring on it, and even booked the venue. But… I suppose he got cold feet a long time ago."

"His loss. What kind of bastard would put someone through that?"

She hummed thoughtfully, but didn't answer. It wasn't in her best interest to start talking about the past now, and she would rather take the spotlight off of herself all together. "What about you?" she asked her barstool companion as she took another sip of beer. "Any lucky ladies in your life?"

Inuyasha chuckled mirthlessly. "Nah, not anymore."

Kagome arched a brow. "Dare I ask?"

"Not much to tell. Her career and ambitions drove a wedge between us, and she decided they were more important than me. Simple as that."

"Sounds high maintenance."

He grinned. "Something like that. I mean, she knew what she wanted and didn't care what stood in her way. Even me."

Kagome felt an ache beneath her breast for the man beside her. She knew the pain of rejection very well. "Put out in the rain just like a dog. Doesn't that bother you?" she asked, tilting her head.

He frowned at her choice of words, and Kagome knew she may have touched a nerve then, but the alcohol had stripped her of her filter apparently.

"Well, I guess we're all damaged somehow," he replied with a shrug.

She scrunched her nose. "That's a bit thoughtless."

"What can I say? Shit happens. Get over it."

And then Kagome suddenly remembered the arrogant, rude, condescending jerk she had met when she had sat down at the bar earlier in the night. She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you such an ass?"

Inuyasha smirked while bringing his beer to his lips. "You are what you eat?"

Kagome let loose a growl of frustration. She had only known him for a short time, but she had quickly learned that Inuyasha was the most infuriating human being on the planet! "Your immaturity is revolting," she stated matter-of-factly, waving down Kouga for another shot of whiskey. She was definitely not drunk enough to deal with the way the conversation had turned.

"I'm not known for my friendly disposition."

Kagome glared at the man sitting next to her. "Is it fun being a jerk to me? Does it satisfy you?"

Inuyasha chuckled. "Actually, it is pretty entertaining."

She rolled her eyes. "You know, Inuyasha. You can hide behind that fake bravado all you want, but I know you're just a big softie underneath."

"Keh," he grumbled, finishing off his beer.

Kagome threw him a glare. "What? No witty repartee?"

He set down his empty glass with a little more force than usual, grabbing Kagome's attention. "I know your type, wench," he snapped, his amber eyes boring into hers. "I know exactly the kind of person you are; all high and mighty, acting as if you're better than everyone else. You think you can show someone how great life can be and how fantastic it is if I would just try. Well, sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but not everyone is worth saving, all right?"

His words left Kagome stunned into silence for a brief moment. How did their witty banter only a few minutes ago turn into this? This… This denied anger and unadulterated cynicism had Kagome reeling, her thoughts turning to what exactly had penetrated Inuyasha's life so completely that he had such a negative outlook on such.

She pursed her lips. "How much do you think you're worth?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Like twenty bucks. Or two twinkies." He grinned at his own comment, but Kagome didn't find it very funny.

If anything, Kagome felt pity for him. No matter how bleak her life became, she always managed to find the good in it. If a person couldn't do that… Well, that was a pretty sad way to live. "As much as I would love to hear you divulge all of your secrets, this is a great song and I feel like dancing."

"Look, wench," Inuyasha barked out, his anger palpable. "I'm not looking for your validation. I'm pretty fucking happy with my life of dirty pennies and whiskey bottles. We don't all need to be Barbie."

She looked over at him, the low dim of the bar lights shining off his silver hair, and found she could only nurse one wounded heart at a time. "I just wanted you to leave tonight and think the world is a little less horrible than you thought."

"Hey, pretty lady," Kouga greeted as he appeared at the perfect time with another shot of whiskey for her and a full beer, stealing her full attention away from Inuyasha.

Kagome immediately downed the shot and chased it with her beer, ready to forget half of the night and lose herself in the music pounding through the speakers. As the evening wore on, the bar became busier, and the DJ had started up a round of tunes that had half the customers on the dance floor.

Kouga watched her curiously, arching a brow. "You alright there?"

"Dance with me?" she called over the bass pounding through the speakers. Oh yes, it was now the time of the night in which she had no qualms for asking for what she wanted.

He chuckled and glanced over at the other bartenders who appeared to have things under control. "You can steal me for a few minutes."

Kagome grinned and giggled like a school girl, leaving Inuyasha behind without delay. Kouga met her at the end of the bar and took her hand in his as she pulled him out onto the dance floor.

Some upbeat dance music blasted through the speakers. Kagome moved and swayed through the bodies crowding near the DJ, the vibrations of the music becoming part of her energy, raising her up several levels at once. Gone were her heartbroken wallows and the biting arrogance of her barstool companion. Her mind buzzed with pure joy. She moved in her dress like her hips were made to sway, the black sequins catching the disco ball that twirled above, causing her to glitter on the dance floor.

Kouga pulled her close, his strong hand pressed against the small of her back, his chiseled chest pressed against hers. She ran her fingers through her messy hair and pulled it to the side, feeling the beat of the music pound with each beat of her heart. Bodies pressed in tighter all around them. Kagome felt the part of her that was really her come out to play, to feel the vibe of the music and let her body go free.

"You're beautiful," Kouga's voice whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

His lips looked soft and very kissable, and Kagome knew her decision-making skills were indeed hindered by the alcohol that buzzed through her veins. And then his attention was caught by something else, his royal blue eyes pulling from hers to the outskirts of the dance floor. He said something to her, attempting to shout above the music, but his words were swallowed up by the electric beat that kept her entranced.

Kagome felt his hands slip from around her waist and he disappeared into the crowd. She didn't bother to follow, her hands playing with her hair, her hips moving to the music as she lost herself within it. This was what her heartbroken soul had fiercely needed; a night to forget all the troubles of the day.

Large, meaty hands found her waist, but they were unfamiliar and too warm to the touch. Kagome felt a warm flush find her cheeks as she gazed up to meet a stranger's hazy stare. He pulled her in close - too close - and even in her alcohol-ridden mind, she felt mild panic begin like sparks in her abdomen.

She tried to push him away, first gently and then forcefully, pretending to laugh at his behavior. "Thanks for the dance, but I need some fresh air."

"C'me on, baby," he slurred, pulling her tighter to his sweaty frame, his hot breath rolling over her skin. "We just met. Let's dance s'me more."

Kagome frowned. "I said no." Before she could stomp on his foot and fight her way out of the throng of dancers, the man was forcefully pulled away from her. They became separated by another man, one with very familiar silver hair who had his back to her. She didn't hear the words exchanged, but whatever was said was enough to send the man scampering off to the other side of the bar.

Inuyasha turned around, his piercing honey eyes studying her expression, before his hand gently wrapped around her waist. His grip on her wasn't strong like Kouga's, or possessive like the stranger. Inuyasha's hand was warm against the small of her back, and the anxiety she felt moments ago melted away.

"You okay?" he asked, swaying his hips in tune with hers as they continued to dance to the beat of the music.

She grinned up at him. "Were you worried about me, jerk?"

"Keh," he grumbled, his lips pulling into a smirk. "I despise you more than any other human I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. You're loud and wild and apparently have no sense of self-preservation. You also act like you have the mental capacity of a five year old."

"Are you flirting with me?" she barbed in return.

"Maybe."

His hand found the back of her neck, his fingers finding purchase in her hair, his hips grinding against hers. Warmth pooled into the pit of her stomach, his breath caressing her skin, and she moved her lips to find his.

Kagome barely had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips and delved inside her mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of beer being exchanged between their billowing breaths. Her arm reached up and tangled around his strong neck. She pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, letting a moan escape in the contact of body heat against her own, before she drew back into his lips.

She could nearly taste the slight bitterness of the beer as it rolled off her tongue and seeped down her throat with every push of his tongue against hers. The kiss coupled with the beer and whiskey humming through her system obliterated every thought. For the first time that day, her mind was locked into the present. Her usual concerns for her life were suspended, and she had no wish for the kiss to end.

But as the music changed, they pulled apart. Inuyasha's skin shimmered with sweat and his amber eyes flecked with gold held her gaze. The beat of the music consumed them under the crazy neon lights, and Kagome felt alive during a night that was still so young.

[heresathreebee]

That G-D Ring of Yours

High Fidelity’s Robyn Brooks X Female reader

Summary: You seek comfort from your neighbor Rob

Masterlist

There's probably gonna be a part 2

Word count: 2.5k words

Warning(s): +15 | implied cheating, internalized homophobia, heterosexism, author and Rob swearing, no hate to polyamorists but major hate to bad faith players, shameless self insert, no beta, barely edited, long as fuck I'm so sorry

Author's note: I'm having anxiety for no discernable reason and my brain has decided this is ideal fuel for a fic, so please enjoy. EDIT: ha ha yeah still anxious but we're doing stuff about it

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"-- And she just touched my hand by accident and I just felt this–  this spark between us…" 

It was so sweet how he was talking about it. Or at least it would be were this not your fiancé explaining how he had been seeing another person behind your back. Had you rushed into things with him? Gotten hitched after three months because of familial pressure to settle down and start your family? Quite possibly.

But it didn't make that stabbing in your gut hurt any less. 

You had been a little gung-ho from date number 1, but he had been right there with you the whole time. Date number 2 happened the following weekend and then you just kept seeing each other more and more until before you knew it you had been introduced to each other's extended families and announced your engagement on Valentine's Day. 

You started to suspect something was amiss on Sunday, when you were braiding your hair on the bed and he had gone to take a shower. He accidentally set his phone screen aside with a text chat still open. Thinking nothing of it (he had already told you he was talking to Mark about getting drinks tonight), you looked at the name and saw it belonged to a woman you had never heard of before. Your immediate reaction was 'she must be a new coworker or a cousin,' but then you glanced again and saw the text conversation mirrored the same kind of ‘sentiments’ he texts you. 

The dirt burned into your brain for eternity: 

You had looked away then. You were actually not going to say anything at all to him that night– had planned to bring it up after Tuesday dinner with your auntie's family, but something came up. It turns out that Jessabelle also frequented the same Starbucks as you (and she's your age, not a teen like you worried). You can't even find it in you to be mad at her since it seemed like she had no idea who you were when she showed you the picture of her date at a baseball game. You tried not to puke as you asked for her number and to send her that picture "for her contact profile." 

You hadn't heard a word your fiance had said since the beginning of the phone call and you cut him off with some excuse you barely remember. You tossed your phone carelessly onto the couch and laid back on the cushions in defeat. What now? 

You weren't really a drinker or a smoker, and you didn't exactly have friends who would be supportive right now. You could hear them now, your family too– asking you what you did wrong, telling you to just forgive him or how to get even, or simply saying 'well what do you expect? Boys will be boys.' 

Maybe… no, you definitely need to get this off your chest before you do something stupid like pretend to forget about it. You had a bad habit of that because you tend to fall fast and hard. Perhaps your neighbor could give you some advice. 

Thank the Lord for fire escapes. Rob lived on the floor beneath you, always playing something good from her huge collection of vinyl records. You've told her at least a hundred times before if she played nothing but Phil Collins for the rest of eternity, you could die happy. You crossed your fingers and hoped you weren't being weird or invading her privacy. 

Thankfully, she seemed to be expecting you. She even motioned that the latch was undone and waved you inside. Ok the second wine glass made your face grow hot. 

"I'm not interrupting am I?" 

Rob gave you a warm smile. "I could hear you pacing around your kitchen for about an hour. Was about to come and get you actually." 

She pressed the glass into your hand and you made an effort not to grimace. Rob liked her drinks cheap and strong and she never held back. You tried a sip just to be polite, and she snorted at the face you pulled. 

"That's right, you like that sweet stuff. What's it called again?" 

"Stella Rosa," you mumbled, grateful when she takes the glass back and hands you a water to replace it. 

"Favorite flavor," she asked looking at her phone. 

"Uh… the peach and the rosé. They're all pretty good, not gonna lie." 

"OK, take this, grab a blanket from the hall closet, and tell me what's going on." 

You curled up on Rob's couch and put your feet up. There were piles of records all over the place, empty beer cans and a pizza box or two on the coffee table. Your neighbor tapped away at her phone screen before silencing it and slipping it in her back pocket. She gave you a minute or two to speak up, sipping her drink like you two had all night. Which actually you did as you did not want to see your fiancé right now. 

You felt two fingers gently tap your forehead. "Come on, dreamer, tell me what's going on in that head of yours." 

You swallow the lump in your throat. "I feel a little over dramatic saying my life is about to fall apart." 

Rob raised her eyebrows at you. "Damn, OK." 

You rush to correct yourself– explain your weird sentiment in more detail but you end up just vomiting words until your voice is hoarse. 

"I mean– like– like it's not falling apart per say or whatever– I… the rest of my life is fine its just my relationship that's screwed. Which I guess I'm more worried about because it's gonna screw up all my other relationships for a while too– dang it, let me start over–" 

"Babe! Slow down. Breathe." Rob switched drinks with you and against your better judgement you took a sip. Oddly enough it did calm you down. "So… it's your fiancé, right? What did he do?" 

You stared at her trying to unscramble your thoughts. "He… I found out he was kind of... dating another person. After I found out, he tried to explain that he didn't think I would mind–" 

Rob barked, "let me guess: he didn't think you were exclusive? Pull the Main Chick, Side Chick schtick? Tried to claim 'polyamory' after he got caught?" 

Two and two clicked together at last. "Yeah… yeah, he did!," you scoffed, "and it's not like it didn't ever come up in conversation: we spent our third date talking out our, like, sexualities and fantasies and fetishes and shit. If he was polyamorous, wh- why wouldn't he have brought it up then?" 

"That is so fucked." 

You took a deeper draft of her wine, coughing before setting it aside. Up until now, you've been numb. Now there's this wave of anger boiling up to the surface and you hear yourself getting louder. Rob doesn't flinch but she does give you this look of empathy unlike anything you've seen before. 

"If he– if he would have just asked me, I would have told him it was fine. My family does shit like that all the time: nobody bats an eye! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, he wouldn't have been so freaking sneaky about it. He literally lied, Robyn!" 

You whipped around and for a brief moment you knew you looked crazy. "He said he was going out for drinks with his guy friend, but he was making plans to go to a baseball game with a girl I've never heard of! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, or if he 'thought I would understand,' then why would go out of his way to lie about who he was with?" 

Someone buzzed Rob's door and she left you on the couch momentarily, coming back quickly with two bottles of your favorite wine. "Damn girl, these are kinda bougie: Peach or Rosé?" 

"I--"you choked, "Robyn you didn't have to–" 

"Peach it is!" She unscrewed the caps and handed you the whole freaking bottle of white, downing the last of her merlot and getting a fresh glass for you. 

You felt a little guilty she had spent money on you. But then again it had been her choice. If she didn't want you there, Rob wouldn't have let you in in the first place. Maybe you were just a tinsy bit worried you shouldn't be here. 

You and Rob took a break from talking to put on music and get a little tipsy. It came much easier with the help of the Stella Rosa, though Rob initially complained it was 5.5%, she did get accustomed to the sweetness pretty fast, and after consuming half the bottle, realized it was a little easier to get carried away with a drink like this. She admitted it was her first time trying rosé and now she was hooked. Eventually you started talking again, just spilling your guts out with no filter anymore. 

"I really think I just hate myself," you said cuddling the cool glassware. "When I found out, I wasn't even thinking of it as a betrayal of my trust– it felt like I was trying to come to terms with it so I could continue with the relationship. Not because it would make me happy but because… I don't know… it's what everybody else wants me to do. They don't even know about it and I was fully prepared not to tell them even though they'd want me to marry him whether they knew or not." 

Rob barked a laugh of surprise. "Doh-K!" 

"What?" 

"Nothing, nothing…" she said, "keep going." 

You stared off into the middle distance and leaned into her side. She was a tiny bit warm despite her lithe figure. Made you want to throw your blanket over her shoulders and share your greater warmth. 

So you did (you're not great at acting out your desires but this is nice!)

"It's just easier," the words left your mouth unbidden, "I don't even know what that means, but it's true. I don't want to marry him anymore but I don't want to break it off. Not marrying Fiancé means disappointing my family. It means having to find an entire new man to marry sooner rather than later because I'm already 'behind' and lowering my already low expectations. 

"It's not gonna make me happy, but I just think it's easier to keep this wedding going because at least I won't have to find somebody new who might not be as good for me just because I didn't want him. Another man won't make me happy so there's no reason to drop him... except that I don't want him." 

Rob's brow furrowed. "Are you saying it's easier for you to please your family than it is to be happy?" 

"Yes? I– no, I– … I don't know," you sigh. "I guess you could say my priorities are a little… mismanaged." 

"Sure, you could say that." Rob wrapped her arms around your shoulders and you inhaled the scent of her soap and cigarettes. "What if you tried… like… not doing that anymore...? You just said you do whatever your family wants you to do. So, just like do what makes you happy for a change." 

It really does sound so simple the way she puts it, doesn't it? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're not dependent on them for money or security or happiness for that matter. So... why has your whole life been centered around pleasing them? 

"I think… I think I've never really sat down and thought about what makes me happy," you admitted. "I think it's just been that way forever and I might have been too scared to try anything else." 

Rob hummed. "Are you still scared now?" 

Are you? You look into her eyes and ask yourself a question that has never crossed your mind with such depth. You used to be scared– but what is it about your happiness that you are so afraid of? OK, let’s start a little simpler: what are things that make you happy? 

“I like…” you swallowed, trying to break down the barriers you’ve built years and years ago. “I like… coffee. I like… short skirts. I like… girls– I like… my job. I like… music. I think I’d enjoy camping, you know, some day…” 

Your words… these things seemed so arbitrary and trivial. But in your house, these things cause dissent. “My family has an opinion about everything. There’s no right way to live in all of their eyes, but I think I figured out a way to get past it. Keep my head down and do what’s expected of me. Graduate college, get a respectable job, find a man to marry, drop the job and become a mother. Just… don’t make waves. It seemed better because the cousins who didn’t or couldn’t… well they became the butt of every joke at the family dinner. Lisa had one miscarriage so she was a ‘failure’ and Don never dated girls so he was gay and that was ‘bad,’ but grandma Zelda did everything a good Christian woman could do and they still gossiped about her behind her back… 

“And I just… I just let their ignorance control me for my entire life.” God, you could cry right now, but somehow it just felt too good to say it outloud. “That.. that is so fucked.” 

Robyn snorted, and you turned to her as if you’d forgotten she was there. There it was again, that sympathy. Not pity, she did not burden you with tears of her own or try to be angry for you. She just listened and understood. You twisted the diamond encrusted ring on your finger and stared at her. You felt it, that feeling in your heart. No one else had given you that look, like she could really see you. 

“You’re not going back to Fiancé, are you?” Her question was equal parts worrisome and hopeful and you already knew the answer in your heart. 

“No.”

And that was it. Decision made. Actually easier than you'd thought. Maybe not down the road but it felt good for now. There's the telling your fiancé it's over, the moving out, the public announcement, the inevitable feeling of failure, your family, god, his family too. Untangling your lives would be long and hard. You're not sure if you have that level of commitment and motivation in you but fuck it. Problems for tomorrow.

You rest your head on Rob's shoulder and hope your not pushing any boundaries. She doesn't stop you though, in fact she snuggles you deeper into her. You get the feeling she's been here before though your not sure which side or how bad it was for her.

"I like you way more in the few times I've met you than any man I've ever dated," you heard yourself say. "I'm sure that means something but I'm too tired to decide anymore. No tonight at least."

Rob chuckled. "I like you too, sugar."

If you made it this far, hi 💛 appreciate you, leave me a comment! Or just comment "💛"

[st4rship]

Requested by: @rexburn12

Request: Can I have a One shot where male reader is the last bearshifter and goes to forks highschool. He doesn't trust the Cullens, and is a loner. He hears and sees Rosalie and Alice getting attacked by vampires and is about to leave but ends up saving them. (The request is longer but I resumed it, but don't worry I do the whole request.)

Hii, I did my best I hope you like it and sorry for taking so long. 💕

Empathy.

Summary: You never trusted the Cullens but when you see Rosalie and Alice getting attacked something inside you tells you that you should help them even if that wasn't your first intention.

Song played by Y/N:

Y/N have moved to forks not long ago. And everything was going rather good for him. Studying in forks highschool wasn't that much of an interesting experience for sure. Especially being the loner he was.

No one really talked with Y/N, not because he was a bad person or anything but it was rather because he could a bit intimidating sometimes. He was actually really kind and a good person inside but he didn't have many friends.

Thanks to being a bearshifter, Y/N had a strong, tall figure. Even the Cullens we're kinda intimadated by him but honestly they thinked that he was just normal teenager that liked to work out.

The Cullens didn't know of bearshifter. Carlisle had an idea of what they we're like but he thought they didn't exist anymore. However, the Cullens soon found out about them.

It was a rainy day in forks, like usual, and Y/N was heading to his house while listening to music. The music wasn't too loud because of his bear hearing, he could be listening to music and also know what a couple was talking about down the block.

Thanks to his incredible hearing, he was able to hear screams coming from the forest. His house was near so he headed to where the scream was coming from just to see what was happening.

He was rather surprised when he saw Rosalie and Alice Cullen getting attacked by vampires. Honestly Y/N never really trusted the Cullens very much and he was heading to leave the scene but something inside him told him that he should help them out.

Maybe it was destiny or sudden empathy towards the Cullens but wathever it was, it was strong enough to make Y/N change his mind. He went back to where they were and shifted into his bear form. The vampires seemed kinda weak, or maybe Y/N how strong he was thanks to not shifting into a long time.

Alice and Rosalie got scared when they first saw the big bear getting close in a fast speed but once the bear attacked the vampires that they we're trying to fight they feel more relaxed. They backed off a little bit to let him fight without getting killed but helped him with the vampires. Y/N bitted the vampires head out of their bodies throwing them away.

He then turned to where the Cullen sister's we're and looked at them while deciding what to do. They were grateful but the fear could be seen in their eyes. Rosalie was in a more defensive position than her sister. Y/N decided to change back into his human form. He headed to where he left his clothes, changed and get dressed.

Alice and Rosalie, seeing who he was, thanked him but he ignored them putting his earphones back on and starting to walk away from them and going to his house. He wanted to just leave it like that and pretend it didn't matter but they were really grateful for his actions and also surprised of his existence so they decided to tell Carlisle everything that happened.

Rosalie and Alice ran home and once they arrived they headed directly to where they knew Carlisle was. Luckily for them, he was in the living room and Jasper, Edward and Esme were there too. They told Carlisle what happened and he was really surprised too.

— Well, I think it was very kind of him saving you both. We should go as a group to thank him and maybe present ourselves properly.— Carlisle answered and headed to tell Emmett so they could all go talk to Y/N.

Thanks to them being vampires and able to track people, they figure out where Y/N lived and headed there. Once they arrived, they could hear someone singing from the inside. The voice was really enchanting and had a guitar accompanying it that suited the song really well. The song seemed to be kind of ending or at least that's what they assumed when it ended all of the sudden.

However they were surprised with Y/N opening the door with a surprised and low-key pissed of look in his face. — Hi, can I help you with something? — He spoke, yes he saved Rosalie and Alice but he still didn't trust the Cullens very much.

— Hello, you may be Y/N right? I'm Carlisle nice to meet you. — He said giving his hand to Y/N to shake it, and Y/N did. — We wanted to come thank you for saving Rosalie and Alice. It was a really kind and consider action from you and we are very grateful for it. — Carlisle ended up saying with a warm smile.

Y/N appreciated their gratitude but being totally honest, he wanted to be alone. — Hi Carlisle, you're welcome. It's nice that you come to thank me and everything but I think you should leave. — He said the most kindly he could having a little smile in his lips trying to don't show his annoyance.

The Cullens thinked about it a little bit but didn't want to make him angry so they decided to just leave. — Sure thing, it was nice to meet you and if you need something don't hesitate to ask us. — Carlisle kindly respond and Y/N give them a little smile before closing the door and going back to the couch in his living room taking his guitar again and going back to sing.

The cullens had a little peak of Y/N's voice from the outside and they thinked before leaving but they didn't want to make him angry or annoy him so they decided to leave. But they doubted that this was the last time they had this kind of interaction with him.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Heyo can I request a hq matchup thingy? I've been all over yer blog and its cute!

I'm 5'8 (on the verge of 5'9), sorta athletic build, lanky but not really slim and more on the curvy side, she/they, light redish brown skin tone, I have shoulder length coily dark brown hair with bangs, glasses, i wear beanies to hide my bedhead and I have a slash on my left eyebrow from when i scraped it on a desk at age nine it was very fun. Totally unrelated note but my friends say i smile like Squirtle and when I'm mad i just look like a really intimidating baby duck 😞

I'm a sagittarius, I have ADHD, a little tomboyish personality wise bc i wear a lot of skirts but im nowhere near girly, I'm a bit rowdy but I'd never do anything to make someone uncomfortable, i gots mommy issues and a little bit of a temper but I'm very approachable, I speak fluent sarcasm and can come off a little rude if ya don't know me that well but I'm very respectful but i kinda swear a lot....

Despite my 'sense of instability' i come from a family full of lawers and veterans (kept separate my parents broke up before i as born), growing up I didnt have the best childhood so i always have empathy and best believe i will fact check you if your out of line 🤬. I'm the one who's willing to cheer you on and support you through thick and thin as well as being at almost every game or event your preforming/ playing at :), I'm very generous and a bit of a care giver(more of a simp if ya squint): ya want water?? "here have mine", hungry? ''oh want McDonald's? i can pay if ya want'' cold?? "here my hoodie im pretty warm already"

My hobbies include singing, playing bass and acoustic guitar, both traditional + digital drawing, dancing and i play a lot of sports like volleyball (i spike and/or set), softball (pitch), boxing + track and field (are those two even a sport???). I've always wanted to be a really big artist and if it doesn't work out i can always try out voice acting bc even though my voice is pretty low i can make it really high pitch like shoujo anime girl high pitch or become a sports journalist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm the memer of my friend group and i like to think my sense of humor and style are on point. I'm a big horror movie junkie... from 80s to late and early 2000s, every slashers, thrillers to sci-fi trust me I've watched it all >:), i loveeeee Pokémon i may or may mot have had a huge crush on Brock and James when i was 6 , and Sanrio, i stick kuromi stickers on everything i own 😅. I also have a really big Batman obsession (grew up around a lot of bois other than my brothers) but i prefer MARVEL...

Sorry this seems pretty long and totally disregard if yer busy but have a good day/night <3

@callmedirtbag

Romantic Matchup

Semi Eita

How Y’all Met

So you we’re new to Shiratorizawa

And you we’re just walking around campus when you found a gym

When you peeked inside you saw a empty gym

But what really intrigued you was the volleyball net and balls inside 👀

The gym looked pretty empty so you decided to mess around with the volleyballs for a bit

You got so into your practicing that you didn’t notice Semi walk in

Semi was a little confused on why there was just a random person in the gym

But he couldn’t deny that you had some skill 😗

However he saw that you were struggling with your sets

So he decided to help you 😃

Ngl you we’re very kinda embarrassed about getting caught practicing

But he assured you that he didn’t really care and that the rest of the team wasn’t coming for another 30 minutes or so

After hearing that you gladly accepted his offer to help you practice

You two actually got to know each other quite well during this time

So when the rest of the team started filing in to practice

You gave Semi your number and told him to text you if he ever wanted to hang out

You left just before Tendou started picking on Semi for blushing 👀

Anyways you guys became really good friends and would hang out A LOT

So nobody was too shocked when you both decided to start dating

But apparently Tendou and Shirabu had made a bet on it 😅

What They Love About You

He loves the fact that your kind

But will fuck someone up if needed 🙂

He knows he never has to worry about you

He loves that your a fellow musician

To him it’s just one more thing you two have in common

And it’s one more thing he gets to do with you

He loves how supportive you are

Even though you know that semi doesn’t get to play that much

You still show up to EVERY one of his games to cheer the team on

And oh god when he does get to play

I swear people from OUTSIDE the gym can hear you cheering for him

Honestly he doesn’t mind if your a simp 👀

There’s a teeny tiny 🤏 part of him that likes to be babied

Favorite Things To Do Together

Oml he loves for horror movie marathons

He absolutely loves them

Because A: he gets to watch almost EVERY single horror movie made

And B: he gets to watch them with you :D

Oh and he also loves to watch any and all marvel movies with you 👀

But other than movies

He loves to make music with you

Duh

It’s usually you both playing instruments together

But every now and then one of you will sing 🎶

Random Hc

You two write the CUTEST songs together

But you never ever sing them

Like wtf you two

One time semi offered to help you practice your spikes

And you accidentally hit him in the face 💀

Now he swears you have a better spike then ushijima 👀

Your friends mentioned your squirtle smile to him...

And now he can’t unsee it 🥲

Astrology

The security and flexibility they can give one another.

Once they open up to one another and to appreciate their different philosophies in love and in life, these two have potential for steamy relations, deep connections and heartfelt respect.

As long as they communicate and celebrate their differences, theirs will be a passionate relationship.

Both Scorpio and Sagittarius see each day as an adventure and as an endless opportunity to explore, to probe, to learn. Shared escapades bring them closer.

While Sagittarius may get fed up with Scorpio’s stubbornness and inflexibility, Scorpio could be thinking their Sagittarius mate is just a little too hotheaded.

They’ll enjoy learning together, and travel could be very beneficial for this pair.

Their relationship is always on the go!

Mars is the God of War, opening the door for Scorpio’s determined, courageous character.

Mars, when combined with Pluto, represents rebirth and renewal.

Jupiter focuses on philosophy, higher learning, expansion, optimism, luck and travel.

These planetary attributes — of growth, expansion and masculine energy — combine to create a sustainable relationship of mutual admiration.

Overall Aesthetic

90s

No Scrubs - TLC

Say My Name - Destiny’s Child

She’s So High - Tai Bachman

99 Red Balloons - Nena

[iristhepladsen]

Another Day, Another Bounty (Pt. 2)

Chapter One: here

Warning: None?

A few hours later, they found themselves in the camp of Kuiil.

"I thought you died." Looking over at her, Kuiil's face melted to one of deep concern and near anger.

"Xola?"

"Kuiil?" She asked, looking around.

Climbing quickly down the ladder, Kuiil began approaching them. Raising his rifle warningly, the Mandalorian watched him.

"I won't interfere with a Mandalorian." Kuiil curtly stated. "So you can put your weapon away."

Taking her hand in his, he checked for injuries, her eyes staring blankly back at him.

"I am sorry."

Looking down at the ground, Xola shook her head.

"It is time I met the inevitable. Too many people after me to where one of them wouldn't catch me." Squeezing his hand briefly, they returned to her side. "Thank you. For all of your help."

Sighing, he returned his attention to the Mandalorian.

"And why have you returned?"

"Jawas ransacked my ship. It's destroyed."

"No, not destroyed. Jawas don't destroy, they need to sell."

"Destroyed, ransacked, it makes no difference."

Eyes staring out into the distance, she seemed contemplative to his words.

"Trading." She said. "You need to trade with the Jawas."

"Trade?" Turning back to Xola, the Mandalorian shook his head.

 "With Jawas, are you out of your mind?"

"If you have something you can trade, you can get all your things back, without an issue." She pressed on.

"That is if he has anything of good," Kuiil remarked.

"Don't you think you should at least try?"

He didn't like it. It was a trap. There was no other reason why she would propose this. Maybe Kuiil and Xola were working together so she might make her escape. But she was with him the whole time, no communication devices. Kuiil had a face of a deep surprise to see the bounty. 

All he could think of was: Why would she want to help?

"Where do we go then?" He asked, the edges of his voice growing in tiredness.

Boarding the rickety metal carrier, the Mandalorian and Xola sat in the cart, Kuiil taking them further into the desert. Lightning crashed all around them, rain pouring non-stop in the near-black landscape. 

As the hours pressed forward, he watched her huddle in the sudden coldness of the desert, her cloak wrapped tightly around herself.

"You know the old man." He said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Yes. He would trade parts at the compound, or help fix things." She replied shortly. 

Looking down, Xola's fingers intertwined with her cloak fringe. "He is also very kind. And loyal. And helpful, maybe even when he shouldn't be."

Her voice almost angry, her eyes drifted out into the black and rainy night.

He didn't enjoy dragging people into his world, not in the least. Taking their arms and delivering them to stormtroopers and men with suspicious plots. 

Maybe now, even more. But, he had a bounty to deliver, and credits and beskar to collect. 

"That won't help you." He said, his voice containing an edge of forced chilliness.

"No." Pulling her hood lower over her eyes, she leaned against the cold metal. "Nothing will."

Daybreak rising, the Mandalorian slowly awoke to watch the red sun. Curled into a fetal position, the girl slept on. Peering at her face, her cheeks were starting to peel from the sun, dark circles growing evident on her face.

"The journey must be hard for her. She hasn't stepped outside the compound in five years." Kuiil replied, driving on.

In other circumstances, would she have been happy to have had the sun on her face for the first time in so long?

As the Jawas grew louder, Xola woke up with a jerk. Eyes blearily opening, she sat up slowly. 

"Jawas."

"These are my parts. To trade for something that already belongs to me." He grumbled, stepping off the cart.

"You need to understand and accept that right now, they are not. You'll also need to remove your weapons."

"I cannot. Weapons are a part of my religion."

"Then, you don't get your parts."

Hesitating, he watched the sunburned figure looking in his direction, her disconcerting gaze watching the center of his armor.

Shaking his head, he shrugged off his rifle.

"And, your blaster."

Hesitating, he slammed that under a canvas bag. 

No doubt they'd steal that too.

"You'll have to forgive me, my Jawa dialect has grown rusty from time to time. But, I can give a summary of the tradings." Kuiil was apologizing as the Jawas approached. A hand reaching out and grabbing Xola's cloak, she gasped and jerked back. In an instant, the Mandalorian's rifle was at the ready.

"This doesn't belong to you! Please, stealing from someone who is still warm and living! We are trading soon, so just sit still and wait!" It seemed that these miserable creatures were the ones to receive her underlying rage. 

"...But, it seems your asset speaks it very well. Where did you learn to speak?" Kuiil asked in surprise.

"From...many times." She replied, finger swiping over a lily on her cloak.

"Then. Translate for us...please." The Mandalorian requested. 

Giving a short nod, her feet felt for the ground underneath. Hands feeling the air, she strained to hear the distant squabbling amongst the Jawas.

"They...remember you." She told the Mandalorian, whom she could assume was on her side.

"Well. I did disintegrate a few of them." He replied shortly, eliciting a quiet huff of a smile from her.

Watching Xola smile, the Mandalorian felt something. Something he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

Guilt.

When they reached the rug, she slowly sank down, hands touching the worn carpet. 

"The Mandalorian would like his parts back," She began. "What are you willing to take?"

Listening, she reached out, her hand touching his chest plate. 

"Your beskar."

"No, not that."

After speaking and listening more, her body stiffened as she formed her next words.

"We could use a translator. We will take her." She replied, anxiety slipping into her tones.

When they reached for her, he stuck a hand in front of her, thinking of the thirty-four ways he could end their lives.

"Get away from her! Something else!" He almost spat out.

"What else indeed, you tin scrap." They jeered.

He understood that sentence.

"The-these my part! No take! No trade! My!" Desperately stumbling in the language, the Mandalorian noticed Xola openly wincing at his poor attempt. 

"Haha, you talk like a Wookie, we barely understand you. Just leave it to the girl!"

"Yeah? You understand this?" Anger mounting, he thrust his hand forward, fire blazing from the tube under his armor.

"Mandalorian!" Grabbing his arm, he immediately stopped the fire. "Do you want the parts or not?!" Voice raising sternly, her brows pulled into a glare.

Listening to her reasoning, he lowered his arm. He usually could handle mockery and jeering. Why not now?

"Yes."

"Then. Patience, cunningness. Flattery."

Lowering his arm to his side, he kept his head low in contrition. Turning back to the conversation, Xola twisted a fringe around her finger.

"Please. Anything, anything else?" Xola asked. 

It seemed there wasn't anything the Mandalorian could or wanted to give. 

Head raising, a Jawa seemed struck with a brilliant idea.

"Egg! Egg! Egg!" They cheered, jumping up and down.

"Egg?" Blinking, Xola seemed as confused as the Mandalorian.

Pinching his nose, Kuiil looked at the Mandalorian with deep empathy.

"What do I need to do?"

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Okay, so, like, if you're uncomfortable answering this, that is absolutely alright, but I'm curious and it doesn't. like a completely inappropriate question, necessarily, so I'm gonna ask, but also apologies bc my social skills are lacking so it may be. How are you so confident in yourself and what you do? And do you have tips/help/recommendations for getting a similar or. y'know, any self-esteem?

not uncomfortable, you’re good uhhhh gonna get a lil dicey-talk here but theres really no way to sugar coat this first point - 

i got mental illnesses out the ears, basically, and was suicidal from 10-19, at which point i was committed to a psych ward. it was bad. 

all this you see, its not something that comes naturally to me. honestly if you went back in time and showed 15-year-old me this ask the first thing out of their mouth would probably be surprise i was alive for you to send it, followed by laughter

so i promise i am not preaching from some high mountain here. I get it, i really do.

and this is maybe not going to sound like helpful advice (it didn’t sound helpful to me when i got it) but - Just blatantly, lie-through-your-teeth fake it.

When you trip its not an “im such a klutz” joke you make - its a “look at me, a total deity of grace in this bitch” etc etc

and youre gonna feel a little silly, honestly.

but heres the idea - some things you can fake, and some you cant. kindness, for example. there is no such think as “pretending” to be kind. an action is kind or it isn’t - your motive doesn’t make a difference. if you give a homeless man a twenty out of nothing but empathy or you do it because you’re with someone and you’ll feel guilty if you dont, either way you did a kind thing, and thats kind.

everybody thinks confidence is something you can fake (people talk about “false confidence” all the time) but thats not really accurate either. Confidence isn’t what you think (thats self esteem) its a way you behave.

yes the usual way this goes for most people is High Self-esteem > More Confident Behavior, and Low Self-esteem > Less Confident Behavior

but theres no reason you cant do it the other way around.

and i do know, i promise, how hard it is to say nice things about yourself when your self esteem levels are the downstairs neighbors of the seventh circle of hell. 

its like pulling teeth. and it doesn’t feel genuine, and it doesn’t feel natural and you feel like you could say it a hundred times and it will never sound less obviously fake

if it helps, say it sarcastically - but if you can just manage to get a compliment out of your internal monologue, thats progress, even if its mocking.

because the more you do it, even sarcastically, the more likely you are to do it without thinking - eventually you’ll get to a point where its a coin flip, if you get Just Mean Inner You or Sarcastically Nice Inner You. and then its usually sarcastically nice, and then you get so used to hearing the compliment you start to just hear regular compliments.

another example - children. they need encouragement and kindness and praise and all that good good emotional enrichment. most people know this.

but you never stop needing that - its not a kid thing, its a people thing. think of your self esteem like inner-child-you, who needs compliments, and gentle words, and needs to be told their drawing or their story or the stuff they glued together into a sculpture is cool and neat (because it is) even if grown-up you on the outside doesnt actually believe it yet.

basically - if you wouldn’t say it to a child or your friend, dont say it to yourself. think of what you would say to them, and try to say that instead.