#i think my standards and just. very high. because of the good ass content i’ve been devouring

[soup-scope]

anyone got any good audio rp channels to check out to fill the void

[dannysdreamgirl]

Addressing Drama!!!

CW: INCEST, SA, ABUSE, GROOMING, PROSHIP MENTIONS!!

Okay, so I was recently removed from a tcm discord server and there was a whole ass post about it made on their profile.

I have “Minors dni” because i posted some sexually explicit posts as well as posts about heavy topics before, and I don’t want minors to follow my blog just to see that shit pop up on their feeds. And you saying me interacting with minors is werid when i was legit a minor a few months ago is wild, the mentality that when someone turns 18 that they suddenly should never interact with people 1-2 years younger than them is a crazy and chronically online take since im still in highschool.

What makes you think my post about Johnny’s SA was… glorifying it? It was written in a way people with media literacy could see how much that affected him, I literally never said bro liked it or made it seem all fetishy.(if i went into HORRIFIC detail about his rape and how nancy groomed him would actually be more lending towards Fetish content.) And if it’s such a bad read on Nancy and Johnny’s relationship, maybe you should read more about the psychology of incest and how it affects the victims. Because to me, Johnny and Nancy’s relationship clearly looks like a boy mom’s relationship with her son; which is emotional incest. The post was made in a way that shows how Johnny feels about it, which is typical for how most male victims react to incestual sa.

My connection with the proshipper known as Zora and their friend is completely in the past, as I’ve grown to realize the content they were posting was actually terrible and not something I should inspire to do also. I was freshly an adult when I became friends with them, and was excited about being close with a big creator of my favourite ship. I’m still impressionable and very naive to dangers people present to me, as I was groomed into being okay with any warning signs. To put this into perspective; I’m still a senior in high school, if you are in a high school we would be in the same school. No dont going saying Zora groomed me either, they were under the impression i was near 19 when becoming apart of their friend group. Stop the hate parade with them too, yall chased bro off the internet. I am still accountable for my actions as an 18 year old, but I will not tolerate you bringing stuff up from the past when I’m still considered a teenager in real life and have made steps to improve my mental health.

Yes some of my posts about Danny/Johnny were lending themselves towards unhinged fetish content, and I apologize. I was going through something because guess what? I’m a victim, a victim groomed repeatedly into this behaviour. Believe it or not, victims of this type of abuse will not always reach your moral purity standards. This is not excusable, but just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you can’t have empathy for why they’re like that.

Incest, abuse, any of that shit is NOT my fetish. If writing these topics mean its my fetish, then any good piece of writing in literature means those authors have those fetishes by your standards; like the author of Lolita. (A book well known for its use of a deceptive narrator to portray how truly evil pedophilia is). By your logic, he should be into it too. I write about it because i find it interesting to explore the horror of it and how it would horribly impact the victim.

Read that all through very carefully before commenting. reach out to me in dms if you want to genuinely discuss any of this or tell me what isn’t right about it. If you just call me disgusting or belittle me you are no different from me.

[sadisticyouko]

how did you get into writing if i may ask? i have so many fic scenarios in my head but when i consider writing, i freeze and it's literally my current major and bachelor 🤦🏻‍♀️

hey ! haha I love this question because I was literally just like that too 😂 I majored in English when I got my bachelors and at the time I was incapable of writing creatively !

This is prob gonna be a long answer, so I’ll put a read more for those not curious 😂

TLDR: I’ve been writing my whole life ! It started with my love of fanfiction ♡

I got into writing because as a kid fanfiction was my only escape ! I prob started reading at around 11 years old, and it was all for yyh of course 😂 I came up with ocs, scenarios, and I had a notebook that I drafted some stuff on, but I actually wasn’t able to complete a fic until way later ! I think that because I read so much fiction (books included), that my standard for good writing had gotten pretty high, and my own level of writing as a novice was too low to reach that standard. So I’d only get maybe a paragraph in before deciding it was bad and trash it

Which is horrible ! Never delete anything you write ! I’m sure you’ve seen the advice before 😂 but because my reading level had gone so far ahead of my writing level, I assumed the writing was bad and not worth attempting. But this isn’t true ! Writing is always worth attempting ! We start learning how to read very young but creative writing isn’t necessarily taught (k-12), everything we write is more focused on academic papers and personal introductions, y’know? So naturally when you eventually do start using it to be creative, you’re gonna start off at the beginner level. It’s takes practice and constant writing to build up that level ! And even then most writers don’t like their own work 😂 but we fall in love with the process and our ability to express ourselves !

So anyways, because I didn’t really know that stuff and thought I just sucked, I only wrote things here or there and never committed to getting a story down. this went on until prob 2020 ! when I got into my hero academia 😂 I hadn’t read fanfiction since … well, prob since quizilla shut down cuz I hated fanfiction.net, I got obsessed with bakugou and just wanted to know more about him, so I googled him and it led me here ! To tumblr! I devoured all the content I could find on him, literally starved for it, and some of the fics that became my favorites weren’t even necessarily…I don’t wanna say not well written ! But they had grammar errors, lost track of plot and position, had him ooc, and I was literally so excited about reading fanfics again that I devoured them all 😂

And I guess that’s kinda when it clicked ! You don’t have to worry about like…being a pro at writing from the moment you pick up the pen. You can just write because it’s fun ! Cuz you wanna get dicked down by a fictional character ! You can write long, or short, about smut, fluff, or angst. Choose to capitalize your letters or not. It’s so free ! I think that I had collectively built up all this pressure on myself to be a good writer that it ultimately stunted me and stopped my growth because I didn’t wanna try if it meant being bad, but I like that on here “bad” is not bad ! The only requirement for it to be good here is for it to exist, and that ability to be free without judgement is what helped me finally start finishing whole fics and plotting out ideas and finally something that I had been passionate about all my life was taking center stage.

So my advice is to write ! Write a lot, write some more, don’t delete anything. And don’t be afraid of being bad because that’s more than expected 😂 there is no human alive that did not crawl before they learned to walk !

So there’s my answer, sorry for the long ass reply ! I hope it helps ♡

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[i-did]

Do you know when the racism and ableism accusations against Nora started? Because back when I was active in 2016/2017 and don't think they were a thing, or were very low-key. Was it something she said or are people just basing it off the things she wrote in the books?

From what I remember, the first time I heard the blanket statement of “Nora is racist/fetishizes gay men” blanket statement was early fall 2019 (which is so ironic for the fandom to say on so many levels lmao). There wasn’t a catalyst or anything, just she went offline 2016 and no new content was coming out and the aftg fandom is such an echo chamber that… an accidental smear campaign happened.

 Before then, I would see occasional “Nora used ableist slur” which… is funny (not that ableism isn’t serious) to me people care more about that than Seth saying the f-slur. IMO this is because with Seth, it clearly shows the character thinking it and not the author who is writing about what will be an end game mlm relationship. 

But anyways! Long story short, it's the fact that she’s an ace/aro woman who wrote a mlm book, and based off of the events in canon. There is no “Nora called me/someone else a slur” it’s “Nora wrote a book where slur(s) are used” and “the Moriyama’s are Japanese.”

Below I put my own opinion on these claims and go into more detail:

CW for discussions of: racism, ableism, mlm fetishization

Fetishization: (and mentions of sexism at the end)

To one question in the EC about her inspo for aftg she jokingly responded how she wanted to write about gay athletes. On other parts of your blog you could see she was a hockey fan and an overall sports fan (anime or otherwise) but I've seen this statement taken out of context and framed as “she's one of those BOYXBOY” shippers. Considering how… well-developed both Andrew and Neil’s relationship is, and it takes them until like the 3rd book and there is a whole complex ass plot going on around, you can see how that's just. Not really true. And considering the fandom is like… 85% women (queer women but still women) and I've gotten into a discussion with someone who is a woman and called Nora a fetishizer and was ignoring my opinions as a mlm, and I really just wanted to say “well what does that make you?” it's a very ironic high horse. She didn’t write 3 all 3 books to put Neil in lingerie pwp or crop-top fem-fatal fashion show, fandom did. 

Also, I talked to an ace/aro friend about this, and she talked to me about how AFTG spoke to her very much so as an ace/aro story. Neil is demisexual, Nora didn’t know of the word at the time of reading it, but she did get an anon asking if Neil was demi after, and she said “had to look it up, and yep, but he doesn't really think about it” (paraphrased). Obviously it would have been cool if andreil were canonly written as wlw by Nora instead, (which would have increased the amount of wlw rep and demi rep) but tbh I don’t think tumblr would have cared about it nearly as much and everyone would just call Neil a cold bitch–like people do with Nora’s other published book with a main character who's a woman. Plus they're her OC’s, not mine. 

The fact is that 50% of all LGBT+ rep in literature is mlm, mostly white mlm, and not written by mlm. I’m not going to hold her to a higher standard than everyone else, she already broke a shit ton of barriers in topics she discusses that otherwise get ignored. I’m grateful to these books for existing even if it's a mlm story written by a woman. I still will prioritize reading mlm written by mlm–and vice versa with wlw– in the way I prioritize reading stories about POC written by POC. But credit where credit is due, this is a very good story, and a very good demi story. 

Ableism:

To me, AFTG is a story about ableism and how we perceive some trauma survivors more worthy than others. Neil and the foxes using ableist language shows how people actually talk. Neil thinks shitty things about Andrew, like the others do too, and thinks he's “psycho”. The story ultimately deconstructs this idea and these perceptions of people. Wymack, someone who says the r-slur (which is still not known by the general population as a slur even in 2021 much less the early 2000s when the book was beginning to be written and what the timeline is based off of) is a character who understands Andrew better than most of the others do, and gives him the most sympathy and understanding despite using words like the m-slur and r-slur. Using these words isn't good, but it is how people talk, and this character talks. Wymack is a playful “name caller” especially when he’s mad, the foxes think Andrew is “crazy” and incapable of humanity and love because of it. They call his meds “antipsychotics” as an assumption and insult in a derogatory way, when really antipsychotics are a very helpful drug for some people who need them. Even Neil thinks these things about Andrew until he learns to care about him. All the foxes are hypocritical to am extent, as people in real life tend to be. Nora herself doesn’t use these or tweet them or something, her characters do to show aspects of their personality and opinions and how they change over time.

Racism:

As for the racism, I've seen people talk about how racial minorities being antagonists is inherently bad, which I think lacks nuance but overall isn't a harmful statement or belief. However, Nora herself said she wrote in the yakuza instead of another gang or mob because she was inspired for AFTG by sports anime, (which often queer-bait for a variety of reasons). I haven’t seen a textual analysis acknowledging the racist undertones surrounding the Moriyama’s as the few characters of color who are also major antagonists, but instead just “Nora is racist”. Wymack having shitty flame tribal tattoo’s is just… a huge 90’s thing and a part of his character design. Her having a character with bad taste in tattoo trends doesn’t mean she's racist. There is the whole how Nicky is handled thing, but that's a whole thing on it’s own. The fandom… really will write Nicky being all “ai ai muy spicy, jaja imma hit on my white–not annoying like me–boyfriend in Spanish. With my booty hole out and open for him ofc.” and as a Mexican mlm I’m like … damn alright. 

I think there is merit to the fact that she writes white as the default* and unless otherwise stated a POC a character was written with the intent to be white is another valid criticism, as well as the fact that the cast is largely white, but everything Nora is accused of I've seen the fandom do worse. That goes to the debate of, is actively writing stereotypes for POC more harmful than no representation at all? And personally I prefer the lack of established race line that lets me ignore Nora’s canon intent of characters to be white and come up with my own HC’s over the fandoms depictions of “zen monk Renee with dark past” “black best friend Matt who got over drugs but is a puppy dog” “ex stripper black Dan who dates Matt” vague tokenism. I HC many of the upperclassmen as POC and do my best to actively give thought behind it and have their own arcs that also avoids the fandom colorism spectrum of “darkest characters we HC go to the back and fandom favorites are in the front and are the lightest.” 

*I however won't criticize her harsher or more than… everyone else who still largely does this in fanfiction regarding AFTG as well as literature in general. This isn't a Nora thing, it's a societal thing, and considering the books came out in like 2014 I'm not gonna hold her to a higher standard than the rest of the world. She's just someone who wrote her personal OC’s and self-published expecting no following. I don’t know her race and I’m not gonna hold her to a higher standard than everyone else just because. 

The criticisms I've seen have always been… ironic IMO, and clearly I have a lot of thoughts on it. I think most people say those things about Nora because they heard them, and it's the woke thing to say and do and don’t critically analyze their actions or anything, but just accept them. 

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Lost Boys: Call 911

GIF by lostinsantacarla

Paul x Reader

Word Count: 2,550

Summary: Reader is out on patrol as part of the Santa Carla PD when they respond to a call out at the wharf. 

Amid the riotous flare of fireworks and fire crackers, it was difficult to make out the quickly approaching cop car but Marko prided himself on being observative.

Paul, Paulie, P-Man, his forever partner on the other hand…

Grabbing Paul by the front of his tank, he pulled the other vampire down to hiss in his ear. “We got company. We bail on my signal, got it?”

The honey blonde nodded distractedly, mesmerized by the bright bursts of colors overhead. The reds and blues and whites and pinks mixed with the curtain of smoke, creating a kaleidoscope against the inky night sky. 

He only heard part of what Marko was gripping about—something about a signal—but it wasn’t his fault he was having so much fun.

Another of their fireworks went off from behind Max’s Video, making him laugh even harder when some empty pallets became collateral. They splintered into pieces, the crunching sound of the wood masked by the other explosions.

Nothing said summer time fun like launching some Big Boys at the video store. It was a rockin’ light show and piss-off-Max scheme all wrapped in one. The crochety, old douche in question would no doubt have some choice words for them later but Paul wasn’t thinking about that; the only thing on his mind was blowing shit up.

In fact, he was so into it that he wasn’t prepared for the sharp punch to his ribs. He flew into the wall as Marko ran past, scampering to get airborne. “Go, go, go!”

The back door to the store opened with such force that it banged into the wall with a loud crack. Paul could sympathize. Two officers came through and before he could even think to pick himself up and run, they were on him.

The rounder of the two sat on his back, putting all his pounds into pinning Paul down. Normally, he would’ve thrown him off and maybe, probably, killed him, no sweat.

But.

There were too many people around that could catch him in the act. There’s no way Max would step in and not even Paul was stupid enough to slaughter that many people in plain sight.

Marko, he whined through the bond. A little help, bud? I’m kinda stuck.

All he got back was a manic cackle.

Paul squawked in outrage, knowing that the other would not be lending an assist. That traitor was all too content to sit back and laugh at him.

Whatever.

Screw him then.

It’s not like Paul had never been hauled in before anyhow.

“You know,” he grunted to the cop on his back, “It’s a good thing you’re not fat or anything, otherwise this would be more difficult.”

The knee dug into his back even harder and his head was pulled back by his hair. It didn’t hurt that much but still! He worked for hours to make his hair look good!

“Police brutality! I have rights, you know!” he yelled. The cop was starting to get on his nerves.

His face was shoved back into the ground and he ate gravel, sputtering to get the pebbles and grime out of his mouth with mixed success. The taste lingered and the only way to get rid of it would be to wash it down with something—

Hmm. He hadn’t planned on feeding that night but some pig blood would take care of it nicely.

He attempted to at least think of an isolated spot to rip out his throat without getting caught. Maybe in the cop car. Maybe he could drag him to the bushes outside of the station.

Oh! If the guy stopped for doughnuts, he could steal the car—doughnuts sounded good though. A nice chocolate glaze with sprinkles or something filled with strawberry jelly! The corner store on the boulevard had the best selection this time of night. He needed more hairspray, too, as long as he was at it, a magazine or three—he shook his head.

Come on, self, get it together!

“I’m going to find the one that ran. Officer Y/LN, you take this idiot back to the car and sit tight until I get back.”

Roughly, he was hauled to his feet and he had been so focused on the tub of lard that had him on the ground that he forgot two cops had burst through the door.

He planted his feet and refused to be moved as he glanced at the second one. It was like pushing at a stone wall, the other at his back unable to shove him into motion.

Immediately, Paul realized his mistake.

Why was he so occupied with that other asshole when he could’ve been looking at you, been pressed up against you the entire time?

The saying was that everyone loved a person in uniform and Paul was no exception. You made the normally dull standard navy uniform look good, the short sleeves showing off your arms and the pants managed to cup your ass in the tastiest way.

He’d cup your ass even better, if you gave him the chance.

Even the serious, disapproving scowl on your face was hot. What he wouldn’t do to get you to make that face with you on top of him, manhandling him any which way you wanted.

Screw his little feeding plan. He was willing to spare your partner in exchange for getting to know you better.

A big happy smile stretching across his face, he finally moved, dragging your partner rather than being forced forward.

“Hey, sexy,” he said with his signature wink, the one that always got him what he wanted with people. “Name’s Paul.”

To his disappointment, you didn’t respond and merely took control of his handcuffed hands as they were passed over.

As you lead him back through the video store, he pulled his arms to the left, acting like he was trying to resist. Just like he expected, you corrected him with a strong, tight grip that sent a rush down his spine.

“Ouch, babe, not so rough,” he purred. “I’m very sensitive.”

He glanced back quick to see your reaction and his bottom lip pushed out in a pout. You still wore a straight face that gave nothing away. No clenched jaw, no embarrassed tightening of your eyes. Definitely no hint of an amused smile.  

Gods, babe. You were really testing him.

Guess he’d have to try harder.

*** 

You were new to the Santa Carla Police Department. Very new. New as in it was your first incident on your first night on patrol.

It was just your luck that you’d ended up with airhead who’d set off a whole fireworks display right outside of a crowded store, which could have serious injury, and was now trying to flirt his way out of it.

Hell—was he pouting?

For a city of its size, Santa Carla PD had a surprising number of job openings. You were new to the area, having moved because it seemed like a nice, sunny California beach town and you were in need of a change.

You didn’t have any prior experience but you’d passed all the screenings and tests and expected the job offer they made. It had benefits, the pay was good, and, importantly, it was legal which seemed to be in short supply around these parts.

That last part was a surprise, especially with the high number of missing people’s cases; you’d think that more places would be desperate to fill jobs, too.

Steering the suspect towards the check out counter, you flagged down the owner who had been the called in to the station.

He turned towards you with a smile on his face and greeted you politely. “Hello, officer.”

“We caught one suspect, sir. The other fled the scene and my partner went after him. I’ll get started on the report—are you planning to press charges?”

The smile was suddenly no where to be seen and he casted a glare at the handcuffed blonde.

“But of course. I’ve told this degenerate and the others in this gang to stay out of here a hundred times before. They’ve gone too far this time.”

The suspect merely shrugged his shoulders and winked at you which set the owner off further.

“That! That right there is what I’m talking about. No respect, no conduct. How is a father supposed to parent if he gets no respect? Maybe they’re missing a motherly influence,” he trailed off.

A motherly influence? Okaaay, then.

Clearing your throat, you tried to bring the conversation back to topic. “Yeah…Well let me put him in the car and then we can get started on the report. Have a good night, sir.”

That should’ve been the end of it but of course the blonde had to open his big mouth. “Bye daddy!”

Max’s hand came down heavy on the counter and you jostled the boy away before he managed to start a full-blown confrontation.

“You surely have a big mouth for someone who’s being arrested. Don’t make things worse for yourself.”

His head perked up and you had to really plant your weight to keep him from turning around and sending you flying into a display in the process. Definitely stronger than he looked.

You noted that piece of information just in case he tried anything else.

“Aww. Are you worried about me?” he cooed. “Don’t be. I trust you to protect me, officer.”

“Any one ever tell you that you’re ridiculous?”

“All the time,” he nodded happily.

The profile of the suspect was coming together in your mind. Clearly, he was simple.

Happy and excitable, and yes, even pretty, but simple.

There’s no way he had been the mastermind behind the firework plot; that honor was likely saved for the one who escaped. He probably hadn’t agreed to do it with malicious intent either. Unfortunately, his inability to think things through had landed him in trouble and he was your problem now.

When you got to the entryway he even tried to the door open. “After you, officer.”

With a resigned sigh, you prodded him forward. Again. Really, this guy was worse than a puppy. A puppy could eventually be trained to listen but seeing as how he was late teens/early twenties, it was doubtful he ever would.

“You said your name was Paul?”

The p in his ‘yep’ popped.

“Last name?”

“Just Paul. I wouldn’t mind getting your name though.”

There’s no way you were telling him that. He would be that much more insufferable if he knew. And try as he might to hide his full name, that would come out when you booked him at the station.

“Well, Paul. You’re being charged with public endangerment and vandalism. Under California law, those are both misdemeanor crimes so most likely—”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved away your words with a flick of his head. Annoyed, you yanked on the cuffs, causing him to moan. “I do appreciate a good pair of handcuffs.”

“You—!” You had to stop yourself from calling him a little shit out loud. No one would’ve stopped you, but you felt weird about it, almost like it would come off as being unprofessional.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to bring your voice back down. “Saying crazy things is only going to make things worse for you.”

“Promise to punish me if I don’t?” Another wink was flashed at you.

It was at that point you noticed he had long lashes for a male. They fluttered like butterfly wings whenever he blinked. Except you had a job to do and really shouldn’t care about how pretty he was.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that it took you by surprise when he leaned in close. Acting on tactical instinct, you threw him against the police vehicle, his torso pressed against the hood with legs spread wide.

The position was designed to be as uncomfortable as it looked so that there was little to no chance of him bucking you off. Good.

“Need I remind you,” you said gruffly, “That you are under arrest. Don’t test me.” 

“You should most definitely frisk me,” he panted.

You sincerely hoped it was pain, and not from pleasure, but from your brief encounter with Paul, it honestly could be the latter. Your own heart was pounding in your chest as well but that was due to the adrenaline pumping through your system.

Or so you maintained.

Still, he had a point. Frisking was standard procedure to make sure the suspect was carrying anything potentially dangerous, or illegal. Hell. You were going to have to give into this particular demand, weren’t you?

Wanting to get it over with, you tried to be as fast as possible while still be thorough.

His muscles were surprisingly cold as you felt up his arms and then his back. It was summertime and when most people had problems overheating, it didn’t seem to be an issue for him.

You dreaded going anywhere near his ass but it had to be done. He even insisted on ‘helping’ by pushing his cheeks further into your hands by curving his lower back as you patted down his pants pockets.

“Check the front too. I could have anything down my pants, ya know.”

That didn’t sound suggestive at all. His flirtations were so over the top is was near comical at that point. You couldn’t let him know that though. You were the authority figure in this situation.

“Alright smart guy, the frisking is over with. And surprise, surprise there was exactly nothing in your pants.”

“You wound me, babe.” If he had use of his arms, his hand would’ve definitely been placed over his heart.  

Standing him upright, you opened the door to seat him in the back. That had been the plan any way.

One second you held his metal clad wrists firmly in your grip and in the next, he twisted himself away effortlessly.

He spread his hands apart and although they each had a shiny steel band around them, the chain that had connected them broke off with a metallic clink.

Just like that he was completely mobile and he wasted no time.

In another imperceptible move, he covered your back with his front, his breath tickling you.

You couldn’t hold back a shiver.

“It’s been a pleasure, officer, but I really should get going. I’m just too cute for jail.” He rolled his head and his nose traced the shell of your ear with a deep inhale. “This was fun though. Let’s do it again, hmm?”

He shoved you into the back seat and luckily your reflexes were fast enough to catch yourself before you face planted into the leather seat. Thrashing like mad, you spun around as fast as you could but it was no use: Paul was already gone.

Stumbling out, you looked back and forth hoping to catch a glimpse of what direction he went but it was useless. Not only was that little shit stronger than he seemed, he was also faster.

Noted.

With a sinking realization, you knew you were going to have to explain this to your partner.

Oh, you were not looking forward to this…

Worst first night on a job ever.

_______________

Hope you enjoyed Paul! I feel like this is goofy and over the top but I guess that’s basically Paul’s vibes in a nutshell. Marko has definitely gotten Paul arrested before and Max has definitely called the cops on them before too haha. Thanks for reading <3

[thyandrawrites]

New to your blog but not bnha, but I was wondering if you’ve ever touched on the dichotomy of fanon vs canon Dabi. Mainly asking because from what I’ve seen you really seem to care about the nuances of his character. I’m trying to find fics to read about him, romantic or not in nature, but the ones I’ve seen are, well, they’re very abusive?

I would understand if it was an an emotional over attachment turn into abusive actions or just being an ass with his words but based on what I’ve read I just don’t see Dabi as someone who would physically violate someone like in the batch I’ve seen? Maybe I’m reading canon wrong, but he seems more detached with most of his focus on his personal family issues. So I just don’t get this dirty, I’m super into making everyone super uncomfortable for my own joy. He strikes me as more, I don’t like that I’m having to forgo all I did hold morally right in order to get to my objective, and thus I don’t mind calling you all crazy, gross, and nuts, but I’ll do it because I’ve nothing else to live for.

I don’t know, just throwing this out there. If you’ve responded to something like this before I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll find it as I continue to read your stuff. Have a great one!

I’ve never done a canon vs fanon analysis despite sharing similar feelings because those types of posts always felt a little passive aggressive and conceited...? if that makes sense. A lot of people don’t mischaracterize him out of malice, and I’d hate to make anyone feel like they have to write him to a certain standard for them to be considered “good” writers. Characterization is a very subjective concept anyway.

But I do agree that some people like... push the boundaries of credibility? I remember when dbhwks was still a rarepair and I complained about the popularity of rapist dabi fics. Most of which weren’t even tagged properly. I’m referring to non-con or dub-con fics, which still count as rape fics. Cause that’s something I find extremely gross on principle, even if they weren’t about my favourite character who I don’t think would ever intentionally take advantage of someone else.

But as I said, I’m just a reader myself and I don’t think my reading of Dabi’s personality is superior or more accurate to canon to anyone else’s, so I never really... idk, tried to change people’s perception past my usual breakdowns and commentary of canon. If they happen to read my stuff and feel challenged to rethink their interpretation of Dabi, or to see some of his actions and words in a different light, that’s one thing, but for me to openly shame those who don’t write him up to my (admittedly very high) standards? I personally feel like the latter would be a dick move. I have taken to disregarding the tags entirely for over a year now, only relying on friends fic or friends rec to find new content, and that has saved me a lot of frustration tbh

I hope that makes sense. With this I’m not saying I condone the above content. I simply don’t have the energy to engage with it in any way without damage to my mental health

[sailorspazz]

Remote 10 Dance Ball

I know this is coming way late (as in, 3 months after it occurred!), but I’d always been planning to write up a report about the Real 10 Dance event that took place shortly after vol. 6’s release in Japan. Before I get into the explanation of what exactly this is under the cut, enjoy this promo image that ticket holders were able to print out at Japanese convenience stores (mine had to be printed by friends who live there and then scanned to me)

The Real 10 Dance is a series of events that have taken place over the past few years featuring real life pros performing routines inspired by the manga, meaning that most of the dances feature male-male couples (though they all have female partners in their regular careers, for these performances they dance together, and the women are given a group number to perform). The most recent live event took place in September 2019 shortly after vol. 5’s release, and there was another planned for 2020 in Osaka, but it was delayed and eventually completely canceled due to Covid restrictions. Wanting to still put on the event in some form, they later announced that it would take place virtually, and would be branded as the Remote 10 Dance Ball. For the cost of 1,000 yen, viewers could watch a stream of the event as many times as they pleased from the time it went live on March 20 until the viewing deadline 72 hours later. Unlike the in person events, there were no merchandise buying opportunities, but there was the option of paying additional 1,000 yen tips to either the performers, the production committee, or Inouesatoh herself. Choosing any of these options would give that ticket holder access to a code to print the postcard shown above, as well as a link to view a 17 minute making-of video of the event.

Before I get into the rundown, The Real 10 Dance Twitter account posted a preview video a couple weeks before the event, which you can watch if you’d like to see some of the action instead of just still images (and the only ones I’ll share here are those that were posted publicly, since they were pretty adamant about no screenshotting/recording of the event…not gonna lie, I did attempt to screenshot a couple parts, but due to the shaky streaming quality, the official photos are much better than what I was able to capture anyway :P) Also, I only made bare minimum notes while I was watching this (and was drinking hard cider), so I’ll give as much detail as I can remember, but there are definitely things I’ll have forgotten by now.

The show started off with one of the female pros giving a demonstration of how to apply makeup for competitions. After this came an introductory show with all of the participants dancing to the opening theme from La La Land.

Next up was some of the pros talking about the characteristics of their costumes, such as the Latin outfits having features like illusion netting to make their limbs look longer, and fringe to create movement.

After this, some of the pros gave tours of the dance schools that they run, which also served as advertisements for those who may be interested in signing up for lessons.

Then came some step demonstrations, showing specific panels from the manga and then describing how to perform the moves. This included Al and Suzuki’s rumba walk from chapter 18, and the throwaway oversway from the chapter 4 scene where Sugiki turns Suzuki into a princess. For the oversway, they performed the move a few different times, using prompts such as “do it like the world’s about to end” to show how the same move can feel very different depending on the emotion behind it.

This was followed by an interview with former standard world champion Christopher Hawkins. The interview was conducted in Japanese, as he is fluent in the language (Inouesatoh tweeted about him being the inspiration to have Norman speak some Japanese in the story, though she acknowledged that Chris’ abilities are far above Norman’s very basic phrases). It included two interviewers asking questions that were submitted by Inouesatoh and her editor. It started off with some basic talk about the process of training and getting prepared for competitions, then moved on to topics like whether he had any competition related superstitions/habits, such as how some dancers will have a pair of lucky underwear they always wear when competing. He said he had a specific order to how he would button his shirt and attach his cufflinks (as in, not just going straight up or down, but skipping over some and coming back to them), and if he didn’t do this specific routine it made him feel like the competition would go poorly. After telling this story, he laughed and said that he’s never told anyone about this before, so it was definitely an interesting question. Then came probably the most important question for fans of 10 Dance: since the series centers around men dancing together, what sort of experience does Chris have dancing with other men? (Funnily enough, for some reason, the male interviewer first asked this question in Japanese, then rather enthusiastically asked the question in English as well lol). Chris said that of course he’s danced with male students a lot in the course of teaching them, but outside of that also had times where he would train in the female role so he knew how it felt to be the following partner, and therefore could become a better lead. He mentioned some performance he did with another high level male dancer that was pretty amazing (forgive me, I didn’t catch the name at all, or even whether he was a standard or Latin specialist), which caused the female interviewer to joke about writing a love story about the two of them.

Then came the main draw of the event, the dance show! I’ll include the song, dance style, and an image from each performance below.

One Way or Another by Blondie, jive

Lady Marmalade (I believe it was the Moulin Rouge movie version), ladies group cha-cha

Half of Me by Ken Hirai, rumba (I don’t know if it’s just because it made me think of the melancholy rumba shown on vol. 6’s cover, but this made me both want to cry and watch it multiple times over, definitely my favorite because apparently I like to punish myself with sadness :P)

All of Me by Michael Bublé, foxtrot (this was filmed both in the performance space and out on the streets in one of the locations used in chapter 33, as shown in this video from one chilly looking morning. Also, this dance featured a leader switch partway through!)

If I Can’t Have You by Shawn Mendes, cha-cha

Finale with all participants to It’s Time to Dance from “The Prom” musical

Last up was a virtual art exhibition featuring 17 sketches by Inouesatoh, including the most powerful sexual stimulant in the known universe, Bathrobe Sugiki.

Overall, I was very happy to get the chance to witness this event. Normally, the number of people would be limited to just those who were in Japan and able to purchase tickets before they sold out, but this remote version allowed a much larger number of people from all over the world to watch (I bought my ticket not even knowing if it would be region locked or not, but thankfully it wasn’t). I hope that the world situation improves and they can put on the event live and in-person again (even better if I could somehow find a way to attend when that happens!), but I think this was a great alternative, and probably a good way to make some revenue in a time when the ability to stage events is limited. The price of 1,000 yen was an incredibly good deal for all the content that was presented (and you better believe I slammed an extra 1,000 straight to Inouesatoh; the only merch I’ve been able to buy is secondhand, and while this satisfies my needs as a collector, it unfortunately doesn’t provide any support to the author). If real life performances are still a long way off and they decide to do a virtual one again, you bet your ass I’ll be right there in the (imaginary) front row!

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it---because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree---so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

4. Pat Will Not Tweet at Nintendo This Week Because He is Resting at Home — PLEASE RETWEET, Episode 12 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 0 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +1 Total Score: 11

I know I’m breaking a rule I set for myself a few paragraphs earlier by including an episode of Please Retweet, which counts as a video series, but this is my post and I can do whatever I want. More importantly, this video is so fucking funny to me, it feels like it would be a crime not to put it in this list. 

Solid 5 out of 5 for entertainment. Pat Gill, alone in his apartment, drinking six cans of what I think is beer silently while the intro music plays. That scene in itself should win an Oscar. Sadly, a solid 0 for Education, because I learn nothing in this video except for the fact that Pat Gill is the type of person to put out a coaster and then just completely not use it. I quantify things as educational if I can maybe answer a trivia question with them, and unfortunately, this fact does not pass that test. In terms of Exaltation, seeing Pat Gill lie down on the floor next to his cat made me get out of bed to do the same with my dog, and with myself thusly out of my bed cocoon of sadness, I was able to actually complete tasks on the day I watched this video. Perfect 5.

BONUS: Pat is +1 hot in this because there’s something very beautiful about him being a little bit miserable. However, I do miss his beard when I watch this video. It is one of my favorite things about him, and it is not present here.

3. Pat and Simone Play Human: Fall Flat

Entertainment: 5 Education: 1 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: 0 Total Score: 11

I very much enjoy Polygon’s gameplay streams. I often play them in the background while I’m doing other stuff like doodling or origami, but this stream is special. It is special because of the moment at 24:00 when Pat Gill, in game, swings a stereo into a glass window, shattering it, while saying, “Actually, y’know what? Let’s talk about trauma.” and then proceeds to tell a horrible and embarrassing story from his childhood where he had to do a rap about Ancient Egypt. 

5 points for Entertainment. This is partly because of Pat’s tragic childhood story about the Egypt Rap (and, segue just to point out 33:22 the incredible moment where you can hear Pat’s feral panic when Simone finds the lyrics to the Egypt Rap) but also because Pat and Simone just talking to each other is so deeply entertaining to me in a very comfy way. I’m starved for human interaction, in this quarantime, okay. Let me enjoy listening to other people have conversations while playing video games. Education scores a 1 because, again, nothing in this video will let me answer a trivia question, however it does get 1 point and not a 0 because the Egypt Rap’s lyrics are in the comments and I did end up learning stuff about Ancient Egypt that I didn’t know. A perfect 5 for Exaltation because this video showed me that talking about trauma can actually be cathartic, given that you’re trashing a video game living room at the same time, and I think that message of not bottling up your experiences really helped me, in these trying times.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for the entirety of this episode, so he scores the standard 0. I’m sure he was hot. We just couldn’t see him.  

2. Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the same thing

Entertainment: 4 Education: 4 Exaltation: 3 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 12

Ah yes, one of Pat’s “x is y because of z” videos. He’s made a number of these and they’re all very good but this one is my favorite among them and earns a spot on this list because 1) I think puppets are cool and 2) I fucking love monsters. 

This video scores a 4 on Entertainment, just shy of perfect, because as funny as it is, it also gives me the vibe like I am being lectured by a professor who’s just a little bit off the shits. And we all know that lectures are supposed to be taken seriously. Which brings us to Education, which also scores a 4. I learned a lot in this video! Watching Pat Gill explain to me that children’s puppets and these horrifying viddy game monsters use the same character principles in different ways is not only very educational but is also explained in a streamline and easy to understand manner that I WISH some of the shitty professors at my old university could emulate. As for Exaltation, while this video did give me enough energy to have a meal, I did eventually end up back in bed for the night at 8pm crying myself to sleep, thinking “I’m like the slime scholar. Used to be a scholar. Now they’re slime.” 

BONUS: Pat Gill is +2 hot here. He’s rockin that basic ass monochromatic aesthetic and I love his look dearly. 

1. Preparing for Big Boy Season in Red Dead Redemption 2 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 3 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +3 Total Score: 16

Here we are. My favorite non video series Pat Gill video. The video where Pat Gill tries to make Red Dead Redemption 2 protagonist, Arthur Morgan, large. 

Perfect fucking 5 for Entertainment, which I’m sure many may find odd. Afterall, this video is told in a serious investigative tone reminiscent of Vox’s videos on current issues. But that’s the glory of it. The complete and utter ‘playing it straight and serious’ for a ridiculous issue in a video game. It is high tier comedy in a subtle, understated way that sings to my comedy loving heart in a melody so lovely, so wonderful, that it urged me to give this video 5 points for Entertainment. It scores 3 on Education, because I have never played Red Dead Redemption 2, nor will I ever, but now I know things about it. The information was also relayed to me in a very interesting style, via something like a crime procedural, and thus it was engaging for me to absorb all this new knowledge. Exaltation scores a perfect 5 because of this video’s beautiful end about existential smallness. No joke, but hearing Pat Gill say “Our bigness isn’t measured in pounds, but in the impact we have on the people with whom we shared the world.” deadass made me want to talk to my friends again after conversationally isolating myself for 3 days. Preparing for Big Boy Season has a special place in my heart. And there it will stay.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for most of the video but he does appear for like 15 seconds in the middle of it, and guess what. He’s hot. +3 hotness. Good beardage, good hair, all in all, good Pat Gill. 

So there you have it. My five favorite Pat Gill videos. If you read this whole thing, holy shit. You’re welcome, I guess.

[aricazorel]

“I’ve wanted this for so long.”

follow up to this prompt ~~ “How ticklish are you?” <from the trilogy appreciation week event>

Pairing: Kaidan Alenko x Kori Reese; set post ME3; word count: 1274

“Kaidan, I don’t understand why you had us go back to the cabin,” Kori Reese-Alenko said as she shifted in the skycar’s passenger’s seat. “I especially don’t understand why you insisted on grabbing two bags and leaving again.”

“It’s a surprise,” Kaidan Alenko said with a grin as the forest north of Vancouver passed below them.

“But where are we going?” she asked looking at him pointedly. “I thought we agreed we were going hiking and camping for our honeymoon.”

“It’s a surprise, Kori,” the Major repeated fully aware she hated surprises.

“Alenko!”

“I thought you might say husband…”

Reese growled as she crossed her arms. The L2 just chuckled as his new wife pouted. It would only be for a little while. He knew the surprise he had in store would change her mood. He only hoped it would be for the better and not result in yet another threat to kick his ass.

***

Somehow Kaidan had managed to convince a very annoyed Kori to shut her eyes and keep them shut as he ushered her to a tent. Once inside, he had revealed the contents of the two bags: a dark suit similar to what he had worn to the fundraiser even during their last shore leave on the Citadel and a dark navy-blue dress. It was made of satin with a sleeveless bodice, a square neckline, and an opened back with a high slit coming to about mid-thigh. Blue flats to match.

Kori’s reaction was one the Sentinel would never forget. Her grey eyes lit up like a super nova as she ran her fingers over the garment. A bitter sweet smile played across her face as she whispered, “How? Why?”

“Back on the SR-1 I promised you that we’d try to make up for somethings you missed out on.”

“But this…This is almost exactly like the prom dress I had picked out on Moirae.”

“I know. Tali, Traynor, and EDI were nice enough to help me figure that out.”

“But where—”

“Kasumi Goto. That’s all I know and all I want to know,” the Specter said firmly.

“But why? What did you do?”

“I made a promise. Even if it was almost four years ago, and I’m keeping it.”

Kori nodded in appreciation as they began changing into the formal wear. Kaidan smiled. At least she hadn’t kicked his ass yet. But there was still the second part of her surprise to get to.

***

Sometime later Kaidan led Kori carefully from the tent down a familiar stretch of beach. One they had frequented many times before on shore leave. Now as the stars began twinkling above, the Lt. Commander was greeted with the sight of a fully decorated beach party. Tiki torches, tables of refreshments, outdoor lights strung from poles, decorations favoring the standard Alliance colors. More than that, several of their friends were there. Garrus, Liara, Joker, EDI, Tali, Traynor, Cortez, and Vega.

Reese froze as everyone greeted them. Kaidan leaned down and murmured into her ear, “It’s not exactly a prom but it is a dance on the beach.”

“How—”

“Hey, Mako! Grease! Looking good!” Vega called with a beer in hand.

“Yeah. Kaidan said he’d take care of keeping you distracted while we set up this little party,” Garrus added.

Reese glanced around. Everyone was dressed in formal wear too. She glanced up at the Major. “But we already had our wedding, and it was just a prom—”

“It was a promise I made to you, Kori. That matters…”

“Are we going to dance or what?” Tali called out as Joker started the music.

Kaidan smiled as he led her to where the others had already begun dancing. He looked down at the woman he was now married to. The dress complimented her in all the right ways. She always looked beautiful to him and that moment was no exception. He suddenly noted the pink tinge to her cheeks.

He cocked his head. “All I did was look at you. Why are you blushing?”

“Because of the way you looked at me in this thing,” she replied motioning to her dress. “And you remembered after all this time.”

“I just want to see you happy,” Kaidan said honestly as he took her in his arms.

“Yeah and when you made that promise you said something about finding all my ticklish spots,” she said as they began swaying with the music.

“And I think I have but the slit of your dress makes it very tempting to double check that,” Alenko teased with a wink.

Kori groaned as his hand found her lower back, his thumb stroking the bare skin not covered by her dress. Her groan became a hum of contentment as she murmured, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

As the ocean breeze gently blew her shoulder length hair, the sounds of the music faded away. He looked into her grey eyes and asked with all seriousness, “Then why don’t you do it?”

Kori made a face as she fumbled with his suit jacket and then jerked on one of his lapels. The Major chuckled as she kissed him hard, her hand slipping from his lapels. She was about to curse when he tangled a hand through her layered hair, keeping her attention on the kiss rather than her injuries. She was still receiving therapy and treatments from the nerve damage she’d sustained during the Normandy’s space battle over Earth. She had been injured during the attempt to deploy the Crucible. Her grip was still weak, but her temper and patience were still as short as ever.

With the distraction successful, Alenko smirked. At least his surprise had worked so far, and Kori hadn’t threatened to kick his ass either. They continued to dance as he watched his wife glance around. Her grey eyes looked from the decorations to the beach to their friends to the ocean. Finally she peeked up at the stars.

Quietly she murmured, “I’ve waited so long for this.”

“I am sorry your prom was taken away all those years ago—”

She shook her head. “Not that.”

“Then what?”

She glanced down, staring at his chest. “I know we just got married and had a reception a week ago. And there was dancing, and we just saw everyone but…”

“Hey,” he said, nudging her cheek with a nuzzle from his nose. “Tell me. Please?”

Grey eyes met whiskey brown ones as she said, “I know I said you didn’t have to keep your word from four years ago but…I have always hoped you’d find a way to do it.”

“Well, like you said it took four years and I did have help to make this all happen,” Kaidan replied with a smile.

“But it did happen, even after everything,” Kori insisted.

“So you’re not going to kick my ass for surprising you?”

Kori laughed as their friends celebrated around them, the music continuing to play. “Some surprises are worth the wait…and not kicking your husband’s ass over.”

Kaidan sighed in relief. “At least I keep my word.”

“I know you do. It’s called integrity and you have plenty of it.”

“You said you wouldn’t tease me about that—”

“It’s sexy. Especially with your grey hair.”

Kaidan groaned. She was never going to let that go. “Kori—”

“I love you, tech boy,” she said sweetly with a grin.

He smiled, embracing her tighter. Those words made everything alright, and he had waited so long for the opportunity to say them to her forever. Now he had that chance. “I love you to, Kori.”

<link to what Kori's dress might look like>

[shingekicornwrites]

Agricultural Werewolves, pt 1

Fandom/Tags: Hero Academia, alternate universe/werewolves, mentions of past bullying, Counseling, Bakugou Katsuki Faces Consequences, modern fantasy, unreliable narrator, Katsuki is kind of an asshole please don’t take his commentary as my opinion or truth

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki/Anger Management Counseling, future Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, future Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto

A/N: This is just a fun au full of wholesome farming, but also boys dealing with issues and a whole lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and attempts to heal. Please enjoy

Not all farmers are werewolves, but many werewolves are farmers. For some reason this fact makes no sense to people who don’t know werewolves. For everyone else it makes perfect sense.

Werewolves have to eat a lot.

As in: the number one drain of money in werewolf houses is filling the cabinets enough to keep all members of the family healthy. Creatures who change shape with regularity, who shift their bodies and have immense strength that burns calories faster than they can blink, have to maintain an intake that allows them to function without their bodies resorting to eating itself. Even werewolves who don’t change all that often, either out of preference or a lack of opportunity, have to eat more than their human peers or suffer symptoms of starvation.  

Hence: werewolves are farmers.

It is infinitely easier to exist outside of poverty when werewolves, congregated into their own communities, make the food themselves instead of buying it all at the nearest grocer. They raise and cut the meats themselves. They grow the appropriate fruits and vegetables that balance their diets. They sell the portions according to their needs as opposed to human needs. It only makes sense that they do things this way.

They control the food market. They have space to run to their hearts content without worrying about bothering human neighbors. They make the rules for their communities with the standards they need, instead of standards written by people who don’t understand how they function. Government approved wolf reserves more often become farmland than anything else.

Werewolves are farmers, and statistically they’re more likely to be happy that way.  

This statistic does not account for Bakugou Katsuki.

At the moment, he is the furthest thing from happy.

“This place smells like shit.”

Normally he’d be cuffed upside the head for that. Instead his mom just looks at him, with that fucking pity in her eyes that hasn’t left in days, and frowns. Katsuki pointedly doesn’t look back and continues staring out the window at the trees and dust being kicked up by the tires.

“That’s the chicken houses. It is pretty rancid,” she says. Acting like she’s not on her way to get rid of her mess and wash her hands of it. “Ah, there’s the gates. Kind of nostalgic.”

The gate marking the Kiyashi Wolf Reserve is flanked by stone wolves howling at the sky in unison. Their car passes them by with no fanfare and Katsuki growls at the town beyond.

It’s as unimpressive as he thought it’d be. A town in the middle of Fuckoff Nowhere, with nothing to its name and a bunch of people who will die there the same nobodies they were born as. All it has to show are a bunch of old ass buildings for tourists and a stupid shrine.  Their car slows down once they pass the gates and Katsuki gets a good, long look at the shitty little storefronts lining the main street. His mom makes some weird noise when she sees them and starts yammering again.

“Oh, I’ve missed this.” She eases up on the gas as the traffic increases, slowing down to turn her head and look at a restaurant that’s filling the car with some kind of greasy meat smell. “That place over there makes the best dango. And there’s this cartilage karaage that’s so delicious—they pile the plate high, too. I forgot how much I missed getting the big portions. City eating just doesn’t give you enough.”

Katsuki huffs, glaring at a group of bumpkin kids who stare at their car as they walk past. “S’at why you left? Got cankles?”

Once again, no cuffing comes. Not even a growl. His mom just frowns with that fucking look again and doesn’t do anything.

“Better business in the bigger towns. Oh my, that store is still there? God, I used to go there every week to blow my paychecks. It looks even nicer than when I left it.”

They pass the shitty little boutique and she smiles at it, taking a left when the main road ends and humming at all the ancient scenery. There’s more old as shit buildings, more little shops and restaurants—more kids staring at their nice car and whispering to each other, which is just fucking great. There’s signs for the local shrine next to fox statues lining the side of the road and Katsuki makes a face at each one as they pass. This whole town looks like it hasn’t had a pulse in decades.

“Do you remember the Midoriyas, hon?” his mom asks as she takes another turn. “They left when you were small, around first grade.”

He thinks back and the memories come to the surface easily. Kindergarten had been spent running around followed by lackeys, catching bugs, making a mess of the local playground, and...huh, right. A face pops back into his mind. Freckles and curls, big green eyes, crying all the goddamn time because he had no spine and didn’t get that he wasn’t wanted around.

“Deku?” the name pops up before he can think too hard about it. Deku. The little snot who yelled too much and probably still wet the bed when he moved away. Useless little Deku.

“That’s not his name,” the hag nags him, jogging him out of the trip through memory lane.

Katsuki scoffs. “It’s what he was.”

“Katsuki,” she starts, finally seeming a little more like herself before she sighs and buries it deep. “Izuku and his mother moved here when they left. Inko’s offered to take you in while you’re here.”

So he’s gonna be under the care of the family with the worlds biggest crybaby? “Great.”

“It is great. You know her, a little. You and Izuku could catch up. Plus, Inko has a little business now. This old ryokan got turned into the local youth hostel, and it’s all under her name now since the old owner retired. It sounds very relaxing. Isn’t that nice?” His mom smiles, like this is actually good news, and it’s disgusting.

“I’m gonna die of boredom,” Katsuki mutters. He looks back out the window and there’s old people with baskets of vegetables just walking next to the road like they want to be hit by a car. Christ this place sucks.

“Don’t say that. This town has a ton of stuff to keep you occupied. You can run around to your hearts content and nothing’ll stop you.”

He lets his head rest against the glass and hopes the vibrations from the shitty road will concuss him. “Wheeee.”

“You’ll like it,” His mom promises. She’d also promised he’d be a winner, and here she is ripping him away from his top school of choice. So he thinks she can take that promise and fucking shove it.

The road gets tinier and the car slows down, with his mom squinting at each building as they pass and muttering under her breath. There are more old people with vegetables and stupid hick kids running around. The car slows to a stop at a break in whatever pathetic excuse for a sidewalk this town has lining its roads, shutting off as the hag smiles at the old ass building next to them.

“There it is,” she breathes.

It looks as shitty as he thought it would. Old, traditional, with weathered wood one good termite away from crumbling and an ancient sign trying to pass for new with a fresh coat of paint slapped on. Small for a ryokan, too, which is probably why it got sold off. There are planters surrounding the front entrance filled with flowers, where a pudgy little figure is hunched over and pulling weeds.

The hag doesn’t hesitate to unbuckle and climb out, shouting over the top of the car. “Inko!”

The pudgy woman turns around and drops the clippers in her hand. Katsuki doesn’t move to get out. He remembers her face. He remembers her taller, presenting snacks and endless bandages for her crybaby son. He remembers seeing her less and less before she was gone altogether. The short, heavy woman he’s looking at how doesn’t resemble her at all. She’s in dirty jeans and flannel, with a handkerchief tied around her head to keep her hair back and rubber boots caked in mud tracking mess all over the walkway.

Damn, Auntie let herself go.

“Mitsuki?” Inko asks, before throwing herself forward to give his mom a running hug. “Oh my—I thought you weren’t due until later!”

“Traffic was a lot lighter than I thought it’d be.” His mom laughs, as if it’s just a stupid social visit and not her dumping her goddamn kid to cover up a mess. “Look at you! You’re radiant! Kiyashi must be treating you well.”

Katsuki resists the urge to double take. His mother is a shit liar.

Inko just smiles. “It’s all the hiking. I had no idea how much fresh air makes you feel better.”

“Oh, I know. I felt like I couldn’t breathe after I left, city air is disgusting.” His mom makes a face. “How are you and the kids doing?”

“Wonderful. Izuku’s out working right now.”

“No foolin? Feels like yesterday he was learning to walk.”

“They grow up so fast.” Inko finally looks over and spots Katsuki slouched in his seat. “Is that Katsuki?”

He growls. She doesn’t even look phased.

“Yep,” his mother nods, then for the first time since this trip started she raises her voice. “Oi! Get out of the car and be sociable!”

He bares his teeth—fuck her, fuck this trip, fuck this stupid hick town—but opens the door. He makes sure to slam it shut. Just because he can. And he wants everyone to know he thinks this whole thing is a pile of shit. Especially the hag, who just glares at him but refuses to yell, even though he knows she wants to.

She always wants to. She always does. This stupid fucking pity game is going to drive him insane, why the hell does she think shutting up is gonna work?

“You’ve gotten so big,” Inko fawns, looking up at him with a big smile. “I bet you barely remember me, huh?”

“He does,” his mother deadpans. There’s a silent threat while Inko isn’t looking to at least greet her, but he responds to that with a sneer that just makes her shake her head. Instead of yelling, once again, she turns her focus to Inko. “Thank you again for this.”

“Oh, it’s no issue at all. The hostel doesn’t just exist for tourism,” Inko deflects. Katsuki looks at the hostel with another critical eye and snorts. Of course it isn’t for tourism. The whole place looks like shit. Tourists who pay for this must be idiots. “Katsuki, dear, I have a room set up for you. It has your name on it so you can go ahead and start loading your things in if you want.”

Finally, an excuse to get out of this. He yanks the car door open and grabs for his first few bags, eager to get away from sight for a few minutes. The women just keep blabbering on about nothing like he’s not even there.

“How’s the boarder?” his mom asks as Katsuki hauls his duffel bag out.

“Oh, he’s doing well. He’s at the shrine now.”

“That’s two working boys, then—“

It’s nothing to load two bags over his shoulders and get away. Leave the biddies to their gossip, he thinks. It’s the only thing they’re good for.

The inside of the hostel is...less shitty. Huh. Maybe that’s how it stayed in business. Katsuki kicks off his shoes and puts on the slippers set out with a scowl, surveying what’s visible past the entryway. The floors are polished wood, the insides done up so that everything looks bright and new. There’s a lounge right next to the entrance that’s been done up to be more teen friendly—a gaming console and a TV, a little fridge with a clear door filled with drinks, and a few bean bag chairs—he bypasses it with a huff and makes his way toward the rooms.

There’s a courtyard. The doors are open, letting him get a good look at the tree and flowers planted to look all pretty. He doesn’t see any people, though.

He passes rooms with no name on them. Empty, empty, empty—how the hell does Auntie keep this place in business? At first it’s nothing. Then it starts getting annoying.

Empty, empty, empty.

Empty.

Empty.

Motherfucker.

He circles the place twice and can’t find anything. No sign. No name. Just empty rooms in a shitty hostel in a shitty hick town and his own shitty breathing because why the hell has he had to carry the bags for this long?

The next time he finds his way back to the lounge he yells in frustration, kicking a chair. He’s about to ditch the bags and run through the place when he turns just a little too quickly and his duffel bag hits someone in the shoulder.

Katsuki bares his teeth before he can think about it. “Oi! Watch it!”

The stranger stumbles back. It’s some hick kid, in a dirty t-shirt and ratty baseball hat. His arms—thicker than expected for someone shorter than Katsuki is, with a fucked up hand that looks like it’s made of scar tissue—are carrying a wooden box filled to the brim with vegetables and paper wrapped packages that smell like blood and raw meat.

“Sorry about that—“ the stranger steadies himself, hefting the box up and stepping back. He’s too busy making sure nothing from the box is falling to even look at the guy he’s apologizing too, the asshole. “Are you lost?”

“No!” Katsuki barks.

“Well, it’s alright if you are, I just—“ the stranger meets Katsuki’s eyes and his own widen. “...wait.”

Katsuki bristles. Then something starts to churn, in his head. The stranger has big green eyes.

Big green eyes, and freckles. Familiar patterns speckled all over his face. Wild curls are attempting to escape out from under the hat, pasted to his forehead from sweat. If the hat wasn’t on it would be the same wild mass of uncontrollable coils that he remembers.

The last time he saw that face was years ago, out the back of a car as it drove away.

“Kacchan?” Deku asks, bigger and thicker and smelling like wolf in a way he definitely didn’t in first grade.

What the fuck?

[empathyfought]

a couple of things now that tfatws has ended.  it had very good moments throughout the show, but i think the pacing + less episodes + amount of plotlines got a bit messy.  some parts weren’t written well, but at the same time i recognize this is fiction, it’s not gonna be perfect, and that for what it’s worth, there was at least some effort made regarding some pretty important issues (which is kinda sad but it is what it is i guess fjksdjkhfasdjk).  anyway, long-ish post under the read more!

sam wilson continually shows just how empathetic and compassionate he is.  in the face of danger, he refuses to fight.  he wants to talk.  he’s not always a ‘punch first, ask later’ kind of guy because he recognizes that not every fight is always about bloodshed.

at the end of the day, he understood karli’s movement, understood her and the flag smashers’ motives.  karli’s death felt far too rushed, but the entire ending felt rushed, so i can’t even complain about it just being one thing.  anyway.  it’s why he brings her body along, why he has to explain to this white man why the hell her fight mattered at the end of the day.  she was treading into terribly dangerous territory, but she was also a misguided, displaced teenager, who had to face unfair life-threatening consequences (herself and her entire found family) upon the return of the blipped, none of which was her, or any of the flag smashers’ fault.

although they stooped low and started to get innocent people killed, it can’t be completely ignored of the hypocrisy that is written into the show and the entirety of the mcu where heroes also will kill or have to sacrifice other lives that aren’t always their own for the sake of the greater good.  it’s a lot of grey area that isn’t explored, mostly because ya know, it’s superheroes, so i’m not expecting much on that front.  like i said, it’s fiction, and though we can point out the irony within some of the writing and motives, holding the show / writers too accountable / at too high standards won’t necessarily change anything because there’s a highly likely chance they don’t think that deep when they write everything, lol.

i think it’s pretty impressive that they showed sam finally go completely vocal against the senator and other foreign leaders.  they didn’t need to incorporate that scene, but it was pretty well written from what i can remember, and i’m glad they finally had him call them out to hold them accountable.  on live television, at that, because unless revealed to the mass public by a figure of ‘justice’ and ‘safety,’ the regular joe isn’t going to exactly enact visible change, especially at a large scale.

aside from that, however, it’s kind of weird that instead of getting a public apology and compensation for isaiah, sam had them only erect a statue in a museum?  this is where it kinda gets muddy and feels ironic again.  the whole thing just feels like a half-assed attempt at reconciliation.  i loved the writing between them as characters, and it was very well acted (i really applaud carl lumbly for his fantastic acting), but in terms of the actual written intention behind it, it just feels very reminiscent of real life where we erect statues of ‘heroes’ as if that changes anything.  it is important that he isn’t forgotten for the suffering he went through, but it’s exactly because of what isaiah was put through that i don’t think a statue in a museum fixes all the wrongdoings the government and military enacted against him.  i think i’m gonna have to kinda retcon this bit sfkmsdj

although sam and bucky worked with jw at the end, i think it’s kinda weird that they just let walker go like that, and though sam can understand walker’s grief, it doesn’t excuse how far he descended into his madness.  he still sees walker as a man too attached to the name, the role of some ‘face’ for america.  safe to say, the next time he meets US agent, he isn’t gonna be too pleased.  jw had a shitty ‘redemption’ arc if that’s what i have to call it.

disappointed i didn’t get a crumb of riley content so i guess i gotta write up my interpretation of riley’s character and influence/history with sam.

also a really big shame we didn’t get much torres content?  he’s supposed to be the next falcon, and it just feels weird that he got like, literally no screentime by the end of the season.  sam wouldn’t have just given him the wings and said “alright buddy off you go bye!”  fdsnjadjhjkasdf he’d probably help him out. sam & torres content pls.

and of course, sharon was done a complete disservice.  her entire character is just… not right.  idk what marvel writers were thinking, but they don’t think half the time, so i can’t say i’m too surprised sdnjshjak

anyway, that’s all i’ve got for now.  thx for coming to my tedtalk.  i will be writing out my post-tfatws verse and whatnot which will obviously be open for plotting.  it’ll likely also end up becoming my default verse because... that’s my captain america!!

[rpbetter]

Do positivity blogs ever feel like a big circlejerk popularity contest to you? Am I a bad rper for thinking this?

Firstly, I am so sorry for the delayed response. I've apologized on the blog as well, but I think it's important to apologize individually. I didn't give anyone a head's up about not being here, then left. Not cool!

Secondly, I absolutely feel that way, yes.

I don't want to imply that every positivity blog that ever has or ever will exist is Like That (or anything else I'm going to say herein), I know there have been some legitimately great blogs out there in the past. I appreciated what they were doing because it wasn't a circlejerk of popularity, ice-cold hot takes, and at least vaguely juvenile, malicious behavior. They were run by people who, maybe they were way too personally positive for me, but they lived it and weren't hurting anyone. These blogs promoted the idea of caring about other muns through specific compliments and good behavior, while they didn't use their platform to engage in things like callouts or content policing.

Sadly, I can think of one blog that is at all like this today in the RPC, and they're a meme/resource blog. They just happen to be the sort of responsible, reasonable, genuinely kind mun that the good positivity blogs used to be run by.

The actual "positivity" blogs I see now...well, they're just like the "positivity" PSA's and RPers heavily reblogging them (all of them indiscriminately, multiple times a day or week). At best, there's some kernel of good intention in there somewhere, but it's hard to ignore that the only people in the RPC deserving of positivity are those who hyper-specifically subscribe to whatever popularity, performative behaviors/virtue-signaling, and policing is going on at that moment. Most positivity blogs, and the blogs of those RPers within the circlejerk, are dotted with some truly reprehensible shit.

If your positivity is coming between rage-spurts of callouts, calls to normalize detrimental things, refusals to agree to disagree because "this will NOT be tolerated" and so on...my friend, I have news for you: this isn't positivity.

Neither is just demanding positivity. I mean that literally. The number of posts that float across my dashes that use that very word, "demand," in reference to supposed positivity is kind of alarming!

Neither is demanding it through mob-mentality compliance to one's own standards of what positivity, or RP for that matter, is/should look like.

And neither is stopping at hollow, performative statements. Are you giving people advice on how to be supportive or spread meaningful positivity in their spaces? Or, are you just posting another PSA about how the RPC is a sad place full of hate and we need to love each other?

I genuinely think that most people here are interested in being nice to their friends, at least, (which is very important and a start) but they lack the tools and ideas. They lack ideas on how to work with their anxiety or limits in order to be positive in a way that works for them and their mutuals. I can tell you twenty times in a single day to go build the island/shelving/overpriced storage thing in my kitchen because I really, desperately, need it put together months ago, but if I leave out the instructions, don't even show you a picture of it completed, and you've never put together two Legos in your life, you're unlikely to be able to do it. Let alone do it well, or without the kind of frustrating, negative experiences that lead you to giving up on this and all future endeavors like it.

However, I also genuinely think that we have a large portion of the RPC that is a bit...socially lost? Regressed, even? Even in their thirties, they're resorting to behaviors that were unacceptable in high school because it's rewarding to be popular, witty, and correct. It can be even more rewarding if one is also cruel; your friends think you're being hilarious, it got you attention, and you were given permission to be an ass because the issue is one your opinion falls on the "correct" side of. It's a recipe for muns acting like belated meangirls. And because they profess positivity, inclusion, and concern for the RPC in the right ways here and there, or they're already entrenched in the circlejerk community, it all slides.

If you send someone an anon like this, their response is very unlikely to be like mine. You'd be attacked for this opinion, told that these blogs are out here every day trying to make the RPC a more positive place, and all you can do is bitch. People like you are the problem, not me and my echo chamber! You're probably a racist, pedo, or incest supporter! Ew, proshipper alert!

So, no, not only do I agree with you (especially after having more proof than I ever desired of the narcissistic shit show behind too many positivity, RPH, and meme blogs), I don't think this makes you a bad RPer! Even if I did not agree with you wholeheartedly, having a different experience, coming from a different place, or having a different opinion doesn't make anyone an inherently bad RPer or person. <-Positivity, genuine. You're absolutely entitled to your opinions, no matter how unpopular they might be in the RPC, Anon!

The only time someone is a bad RPer or other element is when they vilify and harass others, try to run people out of the RPC or police their content/muse choices, or refuse to take responsibility for their harmful actions.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dangerous Minds

Those of my readers who haven’t known me long may not know that I was once a corps member of Teach for America. I taught 10th and 11th grade English for about 5 weeks, then I was told on a Friday about my “involuntary transfer” to another school in the district, where I’d be teaching 7th and 8th grade English instead. I went from having about 110 students to about 190. My classroom had no books (textbook or otherwise), no pencils, no paper, no markers or chalk, but it DID have one of those folding lamps that come out of the ceiling at the dentist’s office. The kids had been in there for 5 weeks with a rotating roster of subs; they’d done no schoolwork of any kind. I was teaching in a very poor area of the city, and my students were predominantly Black and Hispanic. One of my 10th graders wrote his first personal essay about getting shot the previous year. I say all this to tell you that when Chad asked that I review Dangerous Minds, the 1995 adaptation starring Michelle Pfeiffer of the true story of Louanne Johnson’s experience teaching in inner city schools in California, I was prepared to laugh it off as a cringey, Lifetime-movie representation of my experience. Is that what I got? Well...

For the most part, what I got was a ball of anxiety in my chest. It’s well-worn territory, obviously. A teacher bonds with their students from the wrong side of the tracks, and ends up learning just as much from them as they learn from him/her. Usually poetry or music features heavily as a tool that can set the students free from the depressing circumstances of their lives. Depending on the rating, usually a student dies, and the teacher learns just how Important their job is, so they commit to it even harder even though it pays no money and garners no respect from the administration who just doesn’t “get it.” But these cliches and stereotypes and broad strokes exist because at their core, they’re true, and they make me anxious and uncomfortable and I can’t laugh at them or Michelle Pfeiffer being a Nice White Lady because I’m too busy being angry about the systems we put in place that straight up abandon so many kids, all in the name of white supremacy.

Some thoughts:

Oh we’re starting right off the BAT with “Gangsta’s Paradise.” Fantastic news. Two things I associate so strongly with this song is skating around the skating rink in 2nd grade and buying the Weird Al cassingle of “Amish Paradise” and wearing it out. 

Ooh, the score was composed and performed by Wendy & Lisa! Love that, you don’t see nearly as many film scores as you should composed by women.

God, the salary is $24,700 a year and Louanne acts as though that is appealing - I can’t tell if that’s because it was 1995 or because teacher salaries are so dismally low that this feels like a good salary?

This scene in which Louanne goes into her classroom for the first time and the kids are all shouting at her and getting in her face and sexually harassing her and throwing paper balls at her is giving me stress hives. 

Also her friend Griffith (George Dzundza) saying, “You wanna teach, so teach! All you gotta do is get their attention” is rather disingenuous. Trust me, you can have their attention, and still not be able to teach. 

I’m excited to see Sally-Can’t-Dance from Con Air as Raul (Renoly Santiago). He’s honestly fantastic in this, with a tough exterior but a sensitive and gooey inner sweet boy. All of the teens give pretty solid performances, but he’s a real standout.

I recognize this is based on a true story and Louanne Johnson’s lived experience, but I am not sure it’s wise for any teacher, regardless of grade or subject, to be teaching her students how to fight each other. Or taking them to dinner on what looks to outsiders like a date. I know some people have a problem with the bribery (giving her students candy for speaking up in class) but I have no problem with it - you get paid to do all the dumb stuff you don’t want to do at work, why shouldn’t kids be compensated for going to school if they don’t want to be there? External motivation goes a long way to building up internal motivation.

Mm I do love me some Courtney B. Vance, but he’s such a quiet, condescending ass in this. It’s a different vibe than I’m used to seeing in a principal in a movie like this. 

Ooh, Griffith grading papers and saying “What a fuckin’ idiot” is a real mood. 

“Since when has the Board of Education done anything for us? We barely get fuckin lunch” is legit. The lunches my students were served in summer school were some of the most horrifying things I’ve ever seen. One day it was spoiled milk, white bread, and pickles. And one of my students put his in a microwave that was hidden in the back of my classroom behind some dividers and left it for a week. And just so you know, as stomach-churningly awful as that sounds, the day I found “pickle man” as my student called him, isn’t even in my top 5 worst days teaching list. 

I like Griffith, and I’m glad Louanne has a friend, but frankly I’m not that interested in these interludes between them - they really feel like they slow down the momentum from the scenes of her in the classroom slowly earning the kids’ trust. The pacing is kind of a mess, because the most dynamic sections all revolve around the kids in the classroom, and I feel like that only makes up about a third of the movie. 

One thing I know for sure is you do not get in the middle of a fight between students. I have a friend who worked in the same district I did who interrupted a fight and got punched in the face because of it. And her principal blamed her. 

Oh wow the way the soundtrack picks up when Emilio finally engages in the class is some kinda cheesy. And it continues through the rest of the scene to a distracting degree. Oh Wendy and Lisa, I hoped for better. 

Can I just emphasize that to reach these kids, Louanne uses her experience as a LITERAL MARINE by demonstrating she can kick all their asses, and then she bribes them by paying for 25 kids to go to an amusement park for the entire day with her?

Also, even if they like and respect her now, I call bullshit at any scene in which ALL of  the kids are A) sitting in their seats or B) silent, and especially C) both. 

Um suddenly feeling some weird vibes with Louanne and Raul having a dinner date at this fancy restaurant by themselves. Also, the double standard here is pretty telling - there’s no way this scene makes the movie if Louanne had been a male teacher and Raul was a female student.

Wait wait wait, she’s also loaning Raul $200? Like, is this why I didn’t make it as a teacher? Because I wasn’t a former Marine taking students to amusement parks and fancy dinners and lending them money? I was 25 and could barely afford rent. Maybe teachers who have enough money to take care of themselves are better equipped to take care of others. Idk, I’m just spitballin here.

Oh “Gangsta’s Paradise” is happening again! We already heard the whole song over the opening credits but now it’s happening again about 3/4 way through. I mean this song is definitely the best thing about the film, so I get it, but it feels weird that they think we wouldn’t notice it playing to completion twice.

Michelle Pfeiffer is doing everything she can to make this movie feel less cheesy and more real. Like, you can tell she’s really trying with her performance. Of course, it’s not like the character is a huge challenge acting-wise, but she is definitely committed to the part and can walk the line of both accessible and tough. 

This scene where Louanne tells her class she is not going to be there next year, that what happened to Durell and Lionel and Callie and Emilio made her too sad to stay has not aged well at all. And it’s certainly true to life, and I say that as someone who did the same thing. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s a reality - the fact that I’m a nice white lady is exactly the reason that I can choose to leave when things get too hard. Just because the kids convince her to stay at the end in this very rushed “all’s well that ends well” way doesn’t sweep this scene under the rug, and it shouldn’t. 

Ope, “Gangsta’s Paradise” shows up one last time in the credits for good measure. 

Side note: after the film, I researched Louanne, and she’s still teaching, which honestly made me emotional (in a good way). And I’d like to point out the racist ass bullshit the studio and screenwriter Ronald Bass pulled by changing the poems the students read to Bob Dylan lyrics when Louanne originally used rap lyrics from popular artists in ‘89-’90 to teach the kids about poetry. 

Did I Cry? No, but I did get heartburn from anxiety flashbacks.

This genre of film is easy to mock and parody because it tells the same story and hits the same beats to the point that they’ve become cliche. Ultimately, the truth at the heart of the movie (which is the un-nuanced and candy-coated depiction of Johnson’s real memoir, My Posse Don’t Do Homework) is that high schoolers crave someone who will see them and validate them, someone who is willing to put in the effort. The quality of the package that truth is wrapped in varies, and this one certainly leans in hard on stereotypes that feel like cheat codes rather than any real illuminating depictions of living teenagers. But as cringey as it is to watch, maybe it’s not a bad thing to remember that all people - including those who are trapped in poverty and all the cruel injustices that entails - want to be seen and valued for who they really are. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: New World Order (1x01)

Watching this show is going to be strange for me because I genuinely ship Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson with one Steve Rogers... so basically I just want to watch them sitting around being sad about him being dead the whole time. But I'm open to the possibilities, here, I really am...

Cons:

Positioning the bad guys here as... well, as communists who want a world without borders, and then making them into terrorists... let's just say I'm side-eying this pretty hard. You have that twist at the end, where the United States brings forth a new symbolic hero, a new Captain America, and my brain immediately started spinning forward as to where this is going to go. See, we've got anarchist baddies who want to destroy all the flags on one side, then we've got this pretender to the throne on the other side. But the issue won't be that there's something inherently flawed with the whole concept of a militarized heroic folk legend for Americans to idealize... it'll be about how it's the wrong man carrying the shield. At some point, in a moment of triumph, Sam will take the mantle on for himself, and then we can safely and comfortably cheer as our hero takes down the big bad commies who don't love 'Murica enough. I want to be wrong. I want them to mix things up, to challenge things, but all I can see is that the ultimate heroic conclusion is going to be "government control of Captain America is Bad, but Captain America himself, and what he stands for, specifically America, is good."

While I know this episode needed to set up a lot of puzzle pieces, I did think there were moments of somewhat clumsy exposition with both Bucky and Sam's story-lines. We've got Sam who's worried about his sister and her kids losing the family home and boat, and going to get a loan. There were some good moments in here, but it was a bit paint-by-numbers, and some of the dialogue fell into that "as you know..." trap where characters were having a conversation, then needed to stop and tell us it's a conversation they've already had a million times before. They're having the talk for our benefit as the audience only. That's a tough needle to thread, and they didn't quite thread it. The same thing happens during Bucky's therapy appointment. First off, the whole waking up out of a dream thing, cut to a therapist talking about nightmares... another cliché. And then we have the therapist walking him through the three steps, and restating them for the benefit of the audience, even though in the ordinary course they wouldn't lay it all out like that again, since Bucky would already know. It's a small thing, I'm nitpicking, but there were some rough aspects to the start of the show.

Pros:

First off, let's just acknowledge that the show looks great. That whole opening action scene with Sam rescuing the guy, flying around, helicopters blowing up, the base jumping tech... damn. It felt like I could be watching an action sequence on the big screen, in any standard MCU movie. Maybe not the climactic fight, but one of the shorter, introductory ones for sure. And that's what this was, wasn't it? A strong, exciting, high-energy start to the show.

I really love Sam Wilson, y'all. There's something so incredibly powerful about watching a show like this with a black man in the leading role. He's such a good person, he's charming and funny and bad-ass but compassionate. He's a little cocky but nowhere approaching an asshole about his power and fame. He's stubborn but that just shows that he really cares. The movies don't have a ton of screen-time with Sam, if we're being honest, but I already really liked him, and here I'm seeing the chance to flesh out the details and let Anthony Mackie do his thing on the silver screen. It's all really working for me so far.

I like the side characters we're folding in here - his sister seems like an interesting character with a lot to offer, and I love that Sam has these nephews in his life to care for, something to anchor him to the world in a way that Bucky, who I'll talk about in a second, kind of doesn't. It provides a nice contrast between them. I also really liked Torres, the man who helps teach Sam about the Flag Smashers (ugh, that name) and seems like a solid dude who wants to make a positive difference in the world. I hope we see more of him too.

(Also, while I'm sure Rhodey was just a brief appearance in this first episode, it was so good to see him too! I'll miss him in the MCU, if he doesn't keep popping up.)

The last thing I'll mention on Sam's side of the story is that bank loan scene. It was such a punch in the gut to see Sam denied the loan, and one of the reasons being "you don't have any income for the past five years." Well... Sam didn't exist. He got Thanos snapped. This feels so realistic to me, that the system would not pivot to adapt to the new situation, but instead leave more and more people out in the cold. Then you have the bank employee trying to get selfies with the Falcon, all excited to meet an Avenger, all while denying him and his family the money they needed to make ends meet. It was such a devastating scene, and you could see so much hope draining out of Sam's eyes. I'm anxious to see where this goes.

And then you've got Bucky Barnes... let me just say, that despite the fact that he's a super assassin, whenever I see Bucky on the screen I just want to wrap him in a blanket and protect him from all harm. When I saw how Sebastian Stan was debuting on the show, in a flashback to his Winter Solider evil days, I literally said out loud, "oh no, poor Bucky" as if I wasn't watching him murder a bunch of people in cold blood. I have such an intense desire for him to be okay, so seeing him not being okay, but trying in these small ways to atone for his past actions, makes me so proud of him already.

Despite my undying belief that Bucky Barnes is deeply in love with Steve Rogers and that nobody will ever take Steve's place in his heart... I thought the date scene was actually very cute. The flowers, the board game, just chilling in the restaurant... I don't know. I hope that woman is in the show moving forward. I want Bucky to be happy. I want him to make new friends, forge connections in the world. I also really liked the stuff with Yuri, and when the reveal happened about Bucky having killed his son, it was a severe punch to the gut. Maybe I was supposed to have guessed it before the show told me, but I didn't, and when I realized why Bucky had befriended this old grumpy man... oh god. It's all too tragic.

On the one hand, it makes me a little nervous that there are only six episodes in this season, and in the first one we didn't even see Sam and Bucky interact. On the other hand, it's a pretty smart move to keep us waiting, at least a little, for the duo to emerge and develop a rapport. I can't wait for the fun banter, as I think Sam and Bucky are both funny, snarky people albeit with different attitudes and ways of expressing said snark. And I also can't wait for some more serious content between them, as they ruminate on all they've lost in the wars they've fought, on how hard it is to be suddenly missing five years of your life... and on Steve Rogers, a great friend (*ahem* boyfriend *ahem*) that they've both recently lost.

They're also holding back on Sam taking up the mantle of Captain America. I wonder if that will be a point of contention between Bucky and Sam. Bucky was there, Bucky gave his blessing, honestly, when Steve handed over the shield, and it was the only thing about Steve's ending in Endgame that didn't make me insanely furious. I want this to be a point of conflict with them, I want them to argue about the best way to honor Steve. So much juicy material here! And I'm intrigued by this "new Captain America" concept, even though I'm wary about where they're taking it, in terms of theme... we shall have to see!

All in all, this was very standard Marvel fare. I like the characters, the action is creative and enjoyable to watch, there are some emotional gut-punches and some funny lines here and there. Nothing mind-blowing, nothing so innovative and fresh and new, but just more of the same... a same that I've come to really love over the past decade or so.

8/10