#i think what kills me is she's enigmatic... like YEAH i DO want to talk to her and stare at her beauty

[mhaccunoval]

elsie wagg — john singer sargent (1893)

[inkspiredwriting]

Flirt and Fight at the Sparrow Academy – Part 2

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

A/N: Many of you wanted a second part and @makanirock05 had this sweet idea. I'm not 100% happy with it, but I tried.

Warnings: none

Five couldn't stop thinking about her—Y/n, the Sparrow Academy's enigmatic fighter who had managed to leave an impression on him even amidst the chaos of their first encounter. It was frustrating. He had more important things to focus on, like finding a way back to their own timeline and figuring out how to prevent another apocalypse, but thoughts of Y/n kept creeping back into his mind.

Days passed, and despite his best efforts to stay focused, he found himself hoping for another encounter. It wasn’t long before his wish was granted.

The next time Five saw Y/n, it was by chance—another unexpected crossing of their paths. He was alone, scouting for clues that might help them fix the timeline, when he spotted her in a crowded marketplace, her Sparrow Academy uniform barely visible under a simple jacket. She seemed out of place, yet completely at ease, blending in with the bustling crowd.

For a moment, Five considered avoiding her altogether, but something pulled him toward her. Before he could think better of it, he started walking in her direction. She noticed him instantly, her eyes widening in surprise before a slow smile spread across her face.

“Small world,” she said, her tone playful.

“Too small,” Five replied, matching her stride as they walked side by side. “What are you doing here?”

“Just needed a break from the chaos,” she said with a shrug. “And you?”

“Same,” he lied, not wanting to reveal too much.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, the tension between them palpable. Finally, Y/n broke the silence.

“You know, my siblings would kill me if they knew I was talking to you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Five smirked. “That makes two of us.”

Despite the serious tone of their conversation, there was an undercurrent of something else—something neither of them wanted to acknowledge yet couldn’t ignore.

Back at the Sparrow Academy, Y/n’s mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. She couldn’t deny that she was drawn to Five, but the tension between their families made everything more complicated. It didn’t help that her siblings, especially Ben, were always on high alert, ready to fight at a moment’s notice.

Y/n needed to talk to someone, to get her thoughts straight, so she sought out the only person she could trust with this—Sloane.

She found her sister in the library, flipping through a book with a distant look in her eyes.

“Sloane, can we talk?” Y/n asked, her voice hesitant.

Sloane looked up, concern etched on her face. “Of course. What��s on your mind?”

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain the confusion that had been gnawing at her. “It’s about Five. The one from the Umbrella Academy.”

Sloane’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she nodded for Y/n to continue.

“I keep running into him,” Y/n admitted, her voice soft. “And… I don’t know, Sloane. There’s something about him that I can’t shake. He’s different from the rest of them.”

Sloane’s expression softened as she listened. “And you like him?”

Y/n hesitated before nodding. “Yeah, I think I do. But I’m trying to hide it from everyone, especially Ben. I don’t want to cause more problems.”

Sloane reached out, placing a comforting hand on Y/n’s arm. “It’s okay to feel this way, Y/n. We can’t always control who we’re drawn to. And if it means anything, I understand what you’re going through.”

Y/n looked at her sister, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “You mean with Luther?”

Sloane blushed but nodded. “Yeah. He’s different too, and I can’t help but feel something when I’m around him. But it’s complicated, with everything going on.”

Y/n sighed, feeling a bit of relief at having shared her feelings. “What do I do, Sloane? I can’t just ignore this, but I don’t want to hurt anyone either.”

Sloane smiled gently. “You have to follow your heart, Y/n. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. And who knows? Maybe Five feels the same way.”

The next time Y/n and Five met, it was in secret, away from prying eyes. They talked more openly, sharing bits of their lives and the burdens they carried. The chemistry between them only grew stronger, but they both knew the risks involved.

One night, after yet another secret meeting, Y/n returned to the Sparrow Academy with her heart racing. She couldn’t keep pretending that she didn’t care about Five, but how could she reconcile her feelings with the loyalty she felt toward her family?

As she lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, she couldn’t help but think about Sloane’s words. Follow your heart. It sounded so simple, but Y/n knew that nothing about their situation was simple.

Still, as she drifted off to sleep, a small smile played on her lips. No matter how complicated things got, there was one thing she couldn’t deny—she wanted to see Five again, and she would do whatever it took to make that happen.

[vanishxcanvas]

Enigmatic - Three

Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x Reader

Content Warning: Fluff

Tags: @ladyveronikawrites, @lma1986, @blackveilomens, @cookiesupplier

You're in awe as he's showing you around. This is basically heaven, the decoration in this place is making you fall more in love with it.

As he gets done showing you around, he stops and turns to you.

"Right. I have some errands to run, but feel free to explore. All I ask is you don't leave. I'll be back later, I promise." He tells you.

"Okay. That's fine." You reply.

"Good." He says, smiling.

After he leaves, you look around. Remembering that there's a library, you decide to go in there. You loved books. So, why not? While you're looking around in the library, you notice some books about vampires and their history. Not just some, it's a ton of them.

"Interesting..." You think to yourself.

There's one specific book that sticks out to you, but it's just another one about the history of vampires. You won't lie, you were kind of intimidated by the thought of them. Although you didn't think they were actually real.

What felt like hours later, Jolly finally arrived back. He looked for you, until he spotted you in the library, reading. He was one of them, and surely was afraid of telling you, in fear of what your reaction would be.

You don't hear him walking towards you. He glances at the title of the book you're reading.

"They're real, you know."

Looking up, you see him staring at you.

"I won't believe it until I see one." You say.

"Is that so?" He asks.

"Mhm." You reply.

"You sure you want that?" He asks.

"Positive." You say.

"Okay then." He says.

He smirks, then his eyes turn red and his fangs are more noticeable.

"Holy shit." You say. You've been staying with a vampire? You think to yourself.

"I told you they're real." He says.

"You're...one of them?" You ask, closing the book you were reading.

"For my entire life, basically. Yeah." He says.

"You know, I should be pissed. But for some reason I feel nothing." You say, crossing your arms.

"And here I thought you were going to kill me." He says.

You chuckle, "Never. Too pretty for that."

He walks closer to you, making you trapped. "You think I'm pretty?"

Smiling lightly, you nod. "Of course I do."

He runs his fingers over the strands of your hair. "Good to know."

"As much as I love talking to you, it's late and I need some sleep." You say.

"Well, come on then. I have clothes for you to sleep in." He says, offering his hand.

"Let me clean this room first-" You start to say.

"No can do, I'll do it later. A lady needs her beauty sleep, does she not?" He suggests.

Your cheeks flush. "You're not wrong."

"Good girl, now come with me." He says. You take his hand, and he leads you to his room.

[lyon-amore]

What if...? Duskwdood Chapter 24

Chapter 23 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  

Lilly and I had done everything we could to settle the matter and help her brother. Jake. 

When I found out who he really was, I couldn't help but cry every night. I had said horrible things about his sisters, how was I going to look at his face now? Insinuated that Hannah might have killed herself? Or worse: That she had done something terrible. And I had spoken badly about Lilly, if I had known from the beginning, perhaps I would not have said any of those things. But I couldn't go back in time anymore, I could only fix now.

I had everyone rule Phil out as a suspect. I didn't find anything strange and besides, I won a free drink, which Richy didn't like… Would Jake mind if he knew that? I'm trying to lead a normal life while we wait to hear from Jake. It's been two months now without hearing from him. Two months without a message. It scares me to think that something could have happened to him. Sometimes I would go to the coffee shop where we first talked, hoping that he would come back for me. But I know that it is dangerous to return to the place where you fled.    "Can i sit?"  I look up from my phone and see Brian, pointing to the chair.    "Yeah, sure." I replied, turning off the screen.     I was looking at the Nymos chat. So far, it's quite an enigmatic chat for me. Brian sits down and calls the waitress. I listen as he orders his coffee and then he stares at me.    "It's a cozy place." he tells me, adjusting his suit.    "Lian and I used to come here a lot," I answered, nostalgically, "until she met you and the fancy cafeterias."    "Oh, I'm sorry."    "It’s okay."     It had been a long time since I had seen him. The truth is that I don't know what to say. Seeing him again knowing he's after Jake doesn't help my emotions.    "Any reason you're here?" I asked, crossing my arms across the table.    "Well, I know you're interested in my case" the waitress hands his coffee cup and thanks her, returning to the conversation ", I thought you wanted news."     I frowned, studying him. I don't know what he's trying to do now, he would have to know that he can't give information to a civilian.    "Do they let you talk about it?" I ask, sipping my third cup of coffee today.    "I'm making an exception with you for…obvious reasons."     Again hinting that I know Jake. I remember he told me that my tears gave me away. I think that no one would be able to hold back their tears knowing that the person they love is in danger.    "Well, tell me what new news you have."     Brian looks at his coffee before taking a sip. He is preparing to speak.    “Two months ago, we managed to corner him."     I try to stay calm, though my heart is beating too fast with worry.    "Really?" I give him a smile. False " Wow."    "Yes, but he managed to escape... Not before being shot." It's then that my emotions come out. My hand shakes. "We currently don’t know his whereabouts."     I drop my cup, knocking over the coffee. Damn, he's using my feelings against me to find out. I get up taking my things, angry, scared, worried.    "Macie, come back!" I hear Brian yell at me, following me.     I completely ignore him getting to my car, but before I get in he grabs my arm, thankfully not too forcefully.    "Let go of me! I yell at him, pulling away from him.    "You have to listen to me-"    "Listen to you for what? Congratulations Brian!" I clap sarcastically "You did it! Now you can promote yourself as the best bastard there is!"    "You're putting on a show."    "Really?" Of course I was. With each passing day I grew more desperate. Now I found out about this, that Jake could very possibly be dead, how did I think he was going to react? "You come to see me and tell me that you shot him, how do you want me to react?"    "Is this your confession?" he asks me, placing his arms on his hips.    "Go ahead! Arrest me!" I challenge him "Arrest me and have your companions interrogate me to get information out of me! Is that what you wanted?! Is it what you wanted the most?! With me you could finish it, right? Is that what you think?"     Brian looks at me hurt, then shakes his head. I hold out my hands, expecting some handcuffs.    "What are you waiting for?" I put my hands on his face "Come on!"     Then he does something that surprises me.

Brian is a man of honor, laws and obedient. He is not someone who refuses the first time when he is ordered something. But this time, he refuses. He lowers my hands, looking at me concerned.    "I've investigated your past Macie" I start to get angry, breathing hard ". I know you're like me, someone who follows the law" his voice sounds calm, so I don't get nervous "but this is between us and the hacker, you have nothing to do That's why I want you to know to be careful, not everyone is as nice as me."    "Is a threat?"    "No, it's a warning." He leans against the car and rubs his temples. So far I haven't realized it, but he looks tired. "Macie, you should be careful, there are too many eyes on the situation. And it's not just about my team."    "What do you mean?"    “Very soon they will attack” he whispers, as if he fears they will overhear. ". Trust me, change your phone number, and forget about him. Don't get into any more trouble, it's not something I want for you."     I can’t do this. If I do, it will mean losing contact with Jake.    "Why are you telling me?" I ask defiantly again "Don't you risk losing your job?"    "I'm also risking losing a friend," he says in a sorrowful voice. "Please take my advice before something happens."     I nods and he steps aside, allowing me to get into the car. Brian leaves, and when he does, I put my head on the wheel, crying. It can't be true that Jake was shot, right? Does that mean he might be dead somewhere?

 The message notification sound makes me nervous, is it Jake? Please let him be and tell me that he is fine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Lilly Hi Macie ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Now seeing a message from Lilly was a relief. We both cared a lot about Jake and had worked to help him in some way. And well... I don't think it's a good thing to be angry with your possible future sister-in-law... Was it weird to think like that?

 I wipe my tears ready to answer it, but I get a strange warning that they were trying to hack me.    "Nymos?" I read on the screen. It seemed to be an antivirus program, which warned me that they were trying to enter my phone. Is this what Brian was hinting at?     I press the 'Reject' button and after a few seconds it manages to prevent them from entering my phone. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie Did the same thing just happen to you? Lilly Hm? What do you mean? Macie I got a weird notification Lilly What kind of notification? Can you describe it? Macie You know these antivirus programs, right? Lilly Yes Macie It kind of looked like them I think someone tried hacking me Lilly You don’t think it was Jake, do you Macie No, that wasn't Jake. He protected me Lilly Ok you’ve really confused me now Macie Nymos protected me, that’s all I know Lilly Hm ok, so that means it definitely wasn't Jake himself Omg Macie Do you think it was Jake’s persecutors? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I had to tell Lilly about Brian. She is aware that I have a friend who works for the government. We both thought it was nice to have someone around to get information. The problem that I couldn't bring myself to tell Lilly that quite possibly Jake is… I frowned angrily at Brian. No. Jake's not dead, I know. He told me that they would not be able to separate him from me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie I suppose it was It can’t have been anyone else ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Again, a warning pops up. This time they want my location.

 I reject it and Nymos manages to stop them. I let out a relieved sigh. It can't be that this is happening now. What are they trying to do? Jake walked away from me, why do they insist on me? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Lilly Macie? What happened? Please say something 🙁 Macie Someone just tried to access my location Lilly Oh no OK we have to keep calm! Macie But I am calm …So now Lilly You said Nymos somehow blocked the attack, right? Macie Right Lilly So as long as it exists you are safe That’s a start But what does it mean? I always thought that Nymos was just another part of the puzzle Macie You thought wrong then, didn’t you Lilly There’s only one plausible explanation for this Jake knew this would happen And Nymos is the proof for that ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 So Jake was extremely careful to show me his computer screen. Perhaps he was even preparing it even on the days we didn't see each other.

 The only one who knows about my relationship with Jake is Brian, but would he be able to betray me like this by hacking my phone? But he's warned me to stop, because I haven't been arrested yet… So it's not just the government that's after Jake, right? Any other organization?    "Jake…what did you get yourself into?" I sigh, my hand shaking.

 I decide to turn off my phone after finishing with Lilly, so maybe they can't reach me. I should go back to work. They make us come together for the new news that every reporter must cover. Exactly, after my #IAMJAKE article, they decided to raise me one more position due to the success of the article and all I did was divert attention with clues that could seem real or silly, so they could try to find out which one is true and which one is fake. Something like 'Is Jake messing with our minds?' I would at least throw them off track with anything.    "Well, apparently the body that was found in Duskwood finally has a name" Christian plays the video of a news from one of our co-workers this morning ": Amy Bell Lewis" When I talked about it with the group, the coincidence made me curious of Jennifer's case with this one. Both found in the forest. I pay attention taking notes like everyone else. So far they don't seem to find any connection to Hannah Donfort's disappearance. My gut tells me that Amy and Hannah have some connection. It's no coincidence that both girls disappeared almost at the same time and one of them only turned up dead. "So someone has to travel to Duskwood for any news that can be appreciated about this case.”     I begin to notice everyone's eyes on me. Of course... Since I was accused by someone from Duskwood, he thinks that would be something interesting, that the accused risks going to a town where they hate her.    "I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like a good idea to me" I comment, somewhat uncomfortable ", the people of Duskwood want my head, I can't go to Duskwood-"    "Connors, in the life of a journalist you always have to take all kinds of risks." I look at Brian who has a proud smile. "Now you're with the professionals, wasn't that what you wanted?"    <<I didn't want you to send me to Duskwood when there's a madman with a mask threatening me. >>    "And don't you think it's suspicious that the woman who was accused is now investigating a woman's corpse?" I ask, trying to get rid of the report. In other circumstances, it would seem like an honor, but knowing that I’ m under threat, going to Duskwood for now is not a good idea.    "A festival is going to be held in Duskwood" he sits at the table and presses the remote button, showing a kind of web page with information "Pine Glade, we can use it as an excuse that you are going to do a report about it while you take out information about this case."     That would mean getting into more trouble.

 Or… have an excuse to find some connection between the three cases and use it to Jake and my favor… The problem is that I'm going to have to lie in my job saying that I'll take care of it and I can lose it... Let it be what fate wants.    “Okay, I'll do it.” I say finally determined. But at the same time insecure.    "Okay, work will provide you with your travel ticket, tomorrow you'll have to be there "He turns off the screen and claps her hands together "And please don't end up kidnapping another poor girl, will you?" He jokes or… He tries.     Everyone laughs at his joke. I don't find it funny at all. After work, I meet Lian and Aiden for dinner at my house. When they found out that I was going to Duskwood, they got nervous about the situation.    "You should have refused!" Exclaims Lian "Christian wants to lower you position, why did you say yes?    "Christian thinks I'm going to do a report on Amy, but actually I'll do it on the festival" I answered calmly. "Do you think I don't know that it's dangerous for me to ask about the body now?"    "So you said yes… But it's a no." Aiden punctuates my words, confused.    "I'm not crazy enough to know that it is dangerous for me to be in the crosshairs of a police investigation again, besides" I show the screen of my phone an email between the two ", I have spoken personally with the mayor of Duskwood, he has agreed to do a article on Pine Glade as a 'Tour Guide'. And the director of The Vigilant' agrees with my request, he understands what is happening to me and that I should not give our work a bad image."    "Let me guess, that's up to you" Lian points at me with her fork, with a mischievous smile ", only you can convince him that our image is in danger."    "I don't know what you're talking about." I answered, drinking my glass of wine.     They both let out a laugh, amused. Clearly with a small threat in some news programs that have been totally clear with the image in which they wanted to give, they weren’t going to let a possible suspicion about me could ruin them. When I'm finally alone, I watch Jake's video again. It was a pity not to be able to hear his voice. My tears flow from my eyes again. Every time I listened to him, it hurt.    " We will see each other again when the time comes ."    " We will see each other again when the time comes ."     I say the last words of him at the same time. They are what keep me going.

Ah… Cleo wants to talk… I better put myself together... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Cleo I still can't believe it's Amy Macie Remember how glad we were that it wasn't Hannah Cleo Of course, I still am I mean… this body just became so real This dead woman got a face ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Amy Bell Lewis… According to Cleo, Amy hadn't been to art class for at least two weeks before Hannah disappeared. The idea that perhaps she was already dead, because there seemed to be no indication that anyone received any notice of her disappeared... She... They killed her... They killed her and no one knew of her disappearance... I can't feel anything other than true sorrow... I found out about Phil's arrest when I was on the train on my way to Duskwood. I hadn't told the group that I was going and I wasn't to surprise them. In part, I was trying to somewhat follow Jake's words about trusting no one. If someone tried to find out my location through my phone, it was better not to talk about where I was. I speak privately with Jessy and the last thing she tells me is that he wants to check something, I hope she doesn't do something crazy because of the arrest of her brother. I'm wearing the sweatshirt I always wore when I went to see Jake. I felt protected thinking that with it, I could go unnoticed like him. I look at a restaurant and when one of the customers opens the door, I get hungry. Chinese food how long since no eat? I sit by the window and smile as I savor the noodles and sweet and sour pork. It seems weird to be here and I'm not even on vacation or sightseeing.

 Finally Jessy contacts me. Hopefully it's good news. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Jessy Hannah only had one single address saved on her car’s sat nav. And I’m right in front of that house right now Macie How on earth did you get inside her car? Jessy It was just parked in front of her house. So I just asked Lilly for the keys I’ve been meaning to do this for some time But Richy was convinced that Hannah didn't have a sat nav in her car But Lilly did know that she did. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 A little strange, since Richy told me that he had gotten into her car and seen that she had a cup with change…    "And a sat nav isn't exactly small." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie Is this address is in Duskwood? Jessy No em Ashview Hills It took me a while to get here, but I hope it's worth it ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I finish eating and leave the premises, back to the motel. I'm a little tired and maybe after talking to Jessy, I'll get some sleep. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Jessy Alright I'm going inside Wish me luck 😕 Macie Good luck 😕 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 When I get to the motel, my phone goes on alert again. This time they were trying to access my camera. I reject again, a little calmer to have Nymos protecting me.

 Unfortunately, it didn't work.    "What?"     I reject it again and it gives an error again. I must keep calm... I will reject for the third time.

 It doesn’t work!

 Two masked men appear on the screen, staring at me at the camera.    "No..." I look around, as if looking for help. What should I do? As much as I now lock myself in the room, they will continue to have access.     One of them pulls out a computer and presses a button. And they try to access my camera. I start to get nervous. Although they didn't appear to be intimidatingly dressed, the fact that they would interrupt my privacy terrified me.    "Jake!" I squeeze the phone hard, exclaiming his name.     The screen starts to glitch and little by little I get relief.    "Macie!"

Chapter 25

[marvellouspinecone]

Sorry, not done:

Because I have decided that I want Mels to regenerate after all. That would mean that the Ponds will already be struggling with the fact that their daughter is their best friend and then also that she killed the Doctor before she talks to them. And us too, so that'll make the reveal better and more like in the series, I think. (but more impactful bc we know Mels and we've had fantheories about her being River that turned out to be true and we will be so happy about that :))

But it will also mean that the Doctor in his half-delirious dying state will start calling her 'River'. And she will totally call him out for it because she may have killed him but he is not calling her his other lover's name while trying in vain to kiss her so there's that. But then he touches her cheek and goes. "It's you. This face - that's River Song."

And I think that will always be an exciting idea for Melody but she obviously focuses on the important bit: "but Amy said River was your wife. We're not married." And he laughs in that quiet, dying way of his and goes "Spoilers." And she will tell him about dreaming to marry him before they had even met so he asks her to marry him. Her parents are right here after all. Hey, you know what? He'd even go and put on a suit for her, just let him pick himself up, hang on a sec. (also get rid of the blood because in my mind in this version there's a lot of blood). And she tells him "Don't you dare." Because if they're married in the future and she has not married him yet, then he simply can't die so she won't do it. And he probably makes a comment about how Pond stubbornness should be able to stop the world in its tracks. And they laugh and cry together and we'll all die from angst and cheesiness like we should <3

But when her parents talk to him one last time, it's that thought that gives her hope that this isn't the end. She hasn't married him yet and he will NOT miss their wedding

Honestly though. Moffat owes me boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/Mels. I mean, what he has with River is unparalleled to me, but add some softer, sweeter and then all of a sudden very devastating 11/Mels to that? It would be such a nice extra layer. And they would be so much fun together!

Like, obviously, we would need to have some kind of conversation about the dating River and Mels at the same time and them both being a little jealous of each other situation. But like, River would obviously find it hilarious and tease him about Mels. And I think Mels would be about as jealous of River as she would be of the fact that everybody seems to know and love that enigmatic person and she has always missed her so far?! Because if the Doctor has a girlfriend/crush/wife/whatever, Mels should get a chance at dating her, too. That's just a fact.

(Someone will probably tell River that Mels wants to meet her to see if they could possibly date and she'll go 'oh, yeah, obviously, she sounds like a blast. Someone should introduce us asap')

Okay, now I'm done.

Screaming crying, all the feels🤧😭

Mels being jealous of herself and then going "yeah she sounds fun we should meet" about HERSELF is peak Doctor Who timey-wimey shenanigans, and arguably is up there with the "you named your daughter after your daughter" masterpiece.

I don't think there would be much trouble with the Doctor dating them at the same time, simply because it never felt like dating to me when i was watching the show. The Doctor obviously doesn't trust River until he learns that she is Mels and it's more about cautious flirting while keeping her at arm's length, which is... ok hurts, but it doesn't prevent the writers from all the jokes about him getting it on with historical figures and such. He actually might keep the same distance with Mels, bc the curse of the Time Lords and all that classic Doctor/companion stuff that we love. It doesn't mean we can't get couple-y moments (Ten and Rose were always awfully touchy-feely and romantic without actually going canon until the very last moment) but it would add another layer to their relationship

[azuisreading]

What is Dark Within Me by L.B. Black

Alejandra Ruiz is a young witch plagued by the disappearance of her best friend, Violet. In a desperate bid for clues, she strikes a dark deal with the enigmatic Knowing One—the Prince of Lies and Shadows. But the power she needs to uncover the truth about Violet's disappearance comes at a staggering the heart of the next person who falls in love with her. As Alejandra delves deeper into Violet's case, the mystery takes an ominous turn, revealing a truth far more dangerous than she believed. With no choice but to make an ally of an enemy, she finds herself caught in a dangerous dance with the Knowing One, their attraction a sinister force of its own. Alejandra must navigate treacherous alliances, deadly betrayals, and sacrifices that blur the line between salvation and damnation. And as she uncovers the depths of her new power, her destiny intertwines with the fate of the Knowing One’s realm. Enter a world of forbidden desires and heart-wrenching choices in this gothic romance that will enthrall readers until the final, haunting page.

Review

Thanks to BookSirens I was able to be part of L.B. Black’s ARC team and, uh, I may or may not be hooked on this series for the rest of my life (I’m writing this review mostly due to that).

You know, when there’s some kind of eternal love, I become a sucker. There’s something about being immortal and continuing to love the same person over centuries and millennia, and also about reincarnation and finding (searching for it or not) and loving the same soul in the previous lives, the current one, and all that will come after. I just… I just can’t, alright? It just got me. Every time. So… it’s not a wonder I fell so hard for Nicolas.

It’s not only about that (but it does have more than a bit of spice, just a warning there). If you like things bigger than ourselves, you can jump right in. And we never know what the universe has stored for us until you light a black candle, but make sure you know what you’re bargaining for, the Knowing One doesn’t have that title just for show.

I have this idea about angels and demons and… creatures, that this book makes me see differently. I never thought of the ones in here like angels and demons, they were everything but, but… you will see! The problems escalate quickly and the risk just grows and grows, disproportionately, and there isn’t any other way to get things right than by playing. But, you know, right? You can never win if you don’t bet, though you can also lose everything if you do. What’s life if not a constant bet, huh? Just saying!

Before I go down my own rabbit hole with that philosophical thought, there’s something I really didn’t like, and that was the cliffhanger at the end! UGH, I need the second book so BADLY! I need to read more about Nicolas, he’s the kind of… creature who pushes me to try my luck in love and sparks my usually quiet desire to fall in love, but he’s one of his kind and is taken! I respect her, I do. Oh! And the friendship! Of another level. So, yeah, I do need to know what happens next.

Phrases that I liked so much that I marked them while reading

«“I thought we weren’t talking about them, witchling.” “Stop calling me that, would you?” “My apologies. I’ve never believed ignorance was bliss. Even so, you may not like the answer.”» — 2.

«“How did you choose?” she said quietly. “How did you choose which of my family to take?” “You’re asking questions I don’ think you’ll like the answer to.” “I want to know. How did you choose?” The question she really wanted to ask was; Why not me? Her family had spent years obsession over her red hair and treating her like someone whose time on earth was limited. “I took those who wanted to be taken.”» — 2.

«“She’s nervous. It’s okay! We’ll protect you, won’t we, boss?” Garm said. “Of course. If you die, you may take half of my power with you,” Nicolas mumbled. “Great. That’s great. I’m supposed to be reassured by a creature that’s already almost killed me once,” she said, turning the car onto the road. “Exactly. It would be very boring to do it again. Let’s find something else to kill!” “Garm, no,” she scolded. It was the first time she heard Nicolas give a genuine laugh.» — 2.

«“Why do you always do that?” “Do what?” “You seem to hate me, but every time I ask something of you, you agree right away,” she said. “I wouldn’t do anything to defy your free will unless I had no other choice.”» — 2.

«She might be terrified, but Nicolas’s calm dampened her fear, like two weather systems swirling together. That makes tornados too, said the voice in her head.» — 2.

«“I’m sorry.” “Stop saying that.” “I am. Believe it or not, deception is not something I’m fond of, especially when it comes to you,” he said.» — 3.

«“Oh, how do I put this without breaking your fragile human psyche?” Bonnie asked herself. It’s a little too late for that, the voice cackled.» — 4.

«“To survive the war, we had to break some of the Second’s rules. When it was over, Nicolas was supposed to be punished and stripped of his Otherlander powers. To be forced to live a human life and die as a mortal. But instead, you took the punishment that was meant for him. I warned Nicolas against contacting you. ‘I’m just keeping an eye out for her’,” Bonnie parroted in a rather good impression of the Knowing One’s accent. “Well, he always did turn into a complete dolt around you, so that tracks.”» — 4.

«“This is impossible,” she finally muttered. “No. It’s improbable. But we’re Otherlanders. Improbable is our whole deal.”» — 4.

«“It’s—“ “If you say it’s complicated one more time, Nicolas, I swear you will be walking down this mountain alone.” He smiled at her.» — 6.

«Garm cleared his throat. “Um. The car’s ready.” “I’ll drive,” Nicolas said, pushing off the tree. Her first instinct was to deny him, but every part of her body felt heavy. “You can drive?” “Of course.” “You’re not going to plunge us off a cliff?” “Depends on what music you put on.”» — 6.

«“This blade is sharp enough to damage even a Dark Saint. Keep it on you. Please.” Hearing the sincerity in his voice, Aleja met his eyes. “What if I try to use it to kill you?” she asked without animosity. “Are you going to use it to kill me?” he asked. “No.” “Then, that’s settled. Take it.”» — 7.

«It felt like she was standing at the end of the bridge with Nicolas waiting for her on the other side. As always, he looked confident as he beckoned her forward, but he didn’t realize the bridge was broken at the center. That Aleja couldn’t reach him, even if she darted across at full speed and attempted to jump over the gap. And yet you’re thinking about trying anyway, said the voice.» — 8.

«“I can tell you the entire story, if you like.” “You should try telling me stuff when we’re not trying to be stealthy.”» — 8.

«“I’ve always known you were going to be the death of me,” he muttered. Aleja decided now would be a good time to prove him right.» — 8.

«Trust your feet, without ever looking up to see what path they have chosen. Your body remembers how to return home, even when you do not.» — A Spell to Find Your Way Home.

«“I’ll find you again, I swear. I’ll crawl through any hell to get to you. He could make me forget a thousand lives, and I would still find you.”» — 9.

«“I’ve always thought you look beautiful when covered in blood. It matches your hair,” Nicolas said. “Are you hitting on me now?” “Sure, if you’re open to it.” “The village is on fire, Nic.” “That’s never stopped us before.”» — 10.

[sapphichymns]

Maybe I’ve been thinking about this too much of the “fandom wank” (I refuse to call it discourse) surrounding if Yaz’s story is good rep or not. Which, in my honest opinion, it is. I relate to it. I know people who relate to it. Good representation is when you see yourself in a character’s situation.

Of course, it has become about how it isn’t good representation and it came out of nowhere. The first part, it goes back to what I said which I guess you can try and fight me about this. The second part is just... did it though? This isn’t about how the Doctor feels but how Yaz feels.

...She has been vocal about it too? I mean..

YASMIN: I know. I love my family, but they also drive me completely insane. I want more. More of the universe. More time with you. You're like the best person I've ever met.

- Arachnids in the UK

YASMIN: Yeah. Don't obsess on that. Think how the Doctor would do it. Swan in like she owns the place, big smiles, loads of chat, total confidence. We can do this.

- Spyfall Part 1

TAHIRA: That's impossible. Nobody can travel across the stars. YASMIN: Unless you're the Doctor. She's basically the definition of impossible. 

- Can You Hear Me

CLAIRE: I have. His answers only increase the enigma. YASMIN: I know someone like that. CLAIRE: Mary reproaches me. Insists I should find a more reliable prospect. Not that she can talk. YASMIN: Perhaps she's right. His eye does seem to wander. CLAIRE: This enigmatic person of yours, would you trade them for reliable and dull? YASMIN: My person's a bit different.

- The Haunting of Villa Diodati

GRAHAM: Happy New Year, Yaz. YASMIN: When was it New Year? RYAN: You been sleeping in here? YASMIN: Maybe. GRAHAM: Yaz, you can't keep being here all the time. The Doc, you know, she went to do something she knew might kill her. We've just got to assume she didn't make it.   YASMIN: Why? Why do we have to assume that? RYAN: Mate, we've been back ten months. We have to get on with our lives. That's what she told us. That's what she wanted for us. YASMIN: But what if she needs us? How many times has she saved us?

(...)

YASMIN: It felt cruel... to be shown something I couldn't have any more. Felt like, er, I'd rather not have known. I'd rather not have met her, cos having met her and then... being without her, that's worse. How do you deal with that?

- Revolution of the Daleks

And these are some of the things she said, not even talking about Flux as a whole (WWTDD, the whole hologram scene, etc) or even the numerous parallels that exist between them.

This just feels so annoying because its denying the importance of characters like Yaz can and should exist. Not every queer character has to be upfront about who they are (even in real life, we still have that right of choice).

Then there’s the idea of it being introduced too late into the story. Which is nuts because its still part of the Doctor’s and Yaz’s journey. It isn’t some footnote on some random lore book. Its happening as the main part of their character arcs.

This kind of “discussion” isn’t hurting creators like Chibnall, its hurting queer authors. The same kind of “discussion” happened with She-Ra and how Catradora happened in the last season. How it was too late when this was the story they wanted to tell (plus people thinking it was easy to reach that point too LOL).

At times, creators just like to take some time to reach a point and should not feel they have to justify every single choice to satisfy some kind of fandom wank that is only being used to get some cookie points for good behaviour (which I mean, talking over people who do relate and understand the characters’ struggles).

[ever-is-typing]

Since I saw you do skins hdc can I request own for Desolate sand pleeeaaase 😗

note: yessssssss desolate sand :sobbing: legit so angry at myself for not being into the game when he was available he's so awesome >:(

🪙⏳ Desolate Sand!Andrew (Grave Keeper)⏳🪙 relationship headcanons

• the gold rush inspired many people to travel west-

• and you were certainly no exception.

• be it to chase a dream or to escape the dreariness of everyday life, you made the journey for the opportunity of a lifetime!

• though, your "opportunity" was cut rather short when Marshall- the wealthiest gold digger in the west- was murdered,,,

• and you were considered a suspect in aforementioned murder,,,

• then again, you weren't the only suspect in this ordeal.

• there were a variety of interesting characters involved- a bounty hunter, a western tycoon...

• and a mysterious masked stranger, just to name a few.

• like you, he wasn't from this small western town- no one knew where he was from, really

• either way, though, you were both outsiders. but that was about where the similarities ended

• this stranger was cloaked in secrecy. he covered his face with a dark bandana, but that didn't help to conceal the shocking red tint of his eyes or the stark whiteness of his hair.

• you were taken aback by his features at first, but you didn't find them as strange as the golden shovel he carried on his person at all times

• like what do you need a shovel for in the wild west bro that's kinda ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ

• he didn't have a name- or, rather, he never told it to anyone. so, when they're not calling him a "demon" because of his unusual appearance, the townsfolk took to calling him "Desolate Sand" for his solemn and enigmatic nature

• and, unlike everyone else involved in the crime, he didn't seem to care too much for money, which was practically unthinkable

• so yeah you were definitely intrigued by Desolate Sand from the start

• he, on the other hand, wasn't too keen on making friends. in his eyes, the westerners were all corrupt... putting their faith in gold coins instead of God, so they weren't worth his time

• but, when he sees you from the other side of the bar one day, fiddling with your empty glass, something about you stands out as different

• maybe it's the worry in your expression? the unspoken plea of innocence in your wide eyes? something about it just seemed so human...

• and, being a suspect of murder, he saw it as a breath of fresh air and rationale. you weren't like these other suspects, with their petty obsession for wealth and status.

• you were a person of reason, like him. a humble survivor of life, just trying to deliver God's justice in your own way...

• or, at least, he hoped so when he slid down into the seat next to you.

• "You look like you could use another drink, dollface."

• as he gestures for the bartender to fill your glass with the alcohol of your choice, you couldn't help but feel the corner of your thoughtful frown tug up into a smile

• "Dollface? That's awfully flattering for someone you don't even know." you would snort cheekily, looking him up and down. "Anything complimentary I should be calling you, stranger?"

• "The folks in these parts have taken to calling me Desolate Sand," he would respond, tipping his hat respectfully. "But something tells me you already knew that."

• you would nod, sipping on your drink in silence. at this point in the investigation, there wasn't anyone who didn't know about this mysterious man.

• "Well then, Mr. Desolate Sand, you can call me Y/N. Y/N L/N."

• "Charmed, Y/N L/N."

• "Likewise."

• from then on, you two would keep meeting at that spot in the bar- you spent most of your time together talking about your dreams for the future and your goals by travelling west

• or, at least, you did. Desolate Sand was rather reserved about his past, but he was more than happy to listen to you talk about yours. what a gentleman (¬‿¬)

• and, with every meeting you had, the both of you began to fall in love without even really noticing at first...

• ...which caused more worry to Desolate Sand than it did to you. you were a kind soul, a good person. you didn't deserve to be with a filthy sinner like him.

• besides, he's done some pretty horrible things in his life...

•...like killing Marshall-

• omg plot twist!! (o‿o)

• so, when you finally admitted your feelings to him and he hit you with that information, it was like a punch to the gut.

• up until this point, you had really grown to trust him- but this confession just felt like the grossest betrayal possible. what other horrible secrets was he keeping from you?

• so, not wanting to find out, you ran away.

• of course, Desolate Sand had his reasons for bringing that sickening man Marshall to his end. reasons he would never want to get you involved in.

• his deliverance of justice shouldn't come at the cost of a good heart like yours- so, even if it hurt, scaring you away from him was the safest option

• though, of course, that backfired on him once the infamous bounty hunter Black Rose got her hands on you.

• she was rather livid when she heard that someone else had gotten to Marshall before her-

• he was always at the top of her hit list, and she was expecting to draw a pretty penny out of his death before someone else had stolen the kill.

• turns out pretending to be a bartender is a great way to eavesdrop for information- and, seeing two of her fellow murder suspects chatting so pleasantly at the bar was quite intriguing to her.

• and how convenient that the mysterious stranger confessed to murder within earshot (even though she was already spying on you guys)!!

• "So, tell me, L/N," she cooed, pressing her cold black pistol to the side of your head. "Do you think that killing Mr. Desolate Sand will be enough for me to collect my bounty, or no? Perhaps I should take you out, too, just to compensate for all of the trouble your little lover has caused me-"

• "You get your filthy fuckin' hands off of them right now."

• even though he was far enough away from you that you could only see his silhouette, the rage in his eyes burned brightly enough that he was practically a beacon of raw emotion

• despite his obvious anger, though, Desolate Sand still leveled his revolver at her head with the confidence of someone who's shot it before

• and, though you were relieved to see him come to your aid, that remaining fact still scared you. the man you had grown to love had still killed a man.

• "So, what's it going to be, Desolate Sand?" Black Rose hollered. "You gonna turn yourself over to me so that I can collect my coin, or is pretty little Y/N here gonna have to die first?"

• Desolate Sand inwardly scoffed. it was always about coin in the west...

• the two stood in a silent stalemate for a while. neither moved a single inch out of place...

•...and that was starting to get on your nerves.

• so, you directed all of that pent up frustration into stabbing Black Rose in the gut with your elbow!

• she was actually caught quite off guard, so much so that she stumbled backwards and fumbled with the trigger of her gun-

• and suddenly, BANG.

•...though Desolate Sand's gun was the only one with one less bullet.

• Black Rose howled in pain and clutched her leg, red pooling around the flesh the bullet tore through

• you stumbled back, dazed by the sight, right into Desolate Sand's arms.

• you were at a loss for words- you didn't even know whether to thank him or apologize.

• though the urgency in his eyes told you right away that you had time for neither

• "Y/N, we don't have a lot of time here. The townsfolk will be out here any minute once they hear this broad screaming. She'll say we tried to kill her, so I'm going to get you onto a horse and send you away while I take care of all this-"

• you were very quick to shut him up with a kiss

• he was shocked for a moment, but he found himself slowly melting into it- you tasted absolutely heavenly.

• when you two regretfully pulled away for air, you told him very passionately that you weren't just going to leave him all alone.

• you'd take your hands in his, rubbing your thumbs over his hard leather gloves...

• "Desolate Sand, I... I know you lead a pretty intense life, but... that doesn't mean you have to live it alone. Neither of us do. I love you, and I'm not ready to leave you behind yet."

• he chuckled down at you. "Funny. I was about to say the exact same thing, doll."

• and so, you both made your escape, travelling from town to town in search of a quiet place to settle down

•...though that was quite hard with all of the wanted posters with your faces on them

• yeahhhhhh you're both kind of wanted criminals now I forgot to mention that sorry

• (Well, Desolate Sand more so than you. You're labelled as an "accomplice," and they just never seem to get your nose right on the posters. ;0)

• after everything, Desolate Sand agreed to deliver his justice in a less morbid fashion. despite everything you've faced in the past/will face in the future, you're both just happy to be at each others sides- and no amount of gold could ever compare to the love that you two share. ♡

"Y/N, you've got something these westerners and I lack- a good heart. You constantly prove to be a breath of fresh air in these lawless lands... don't ever change, darling. I'll protect you with my life."

-Desolate Sand!Andrew Kreiss 🕳🕳

[ava-candide]

Poldark’s Aidan Turner on playing Leonardo da Vinci

The newly married heart-throb actor learnt to paint left-handed for his new role, and he’s still daubing now, he tells Ed Potton

Aidan Turner takes on the role of Renaissance polymath Leonardo

I’m trying to work out where Aidan Turner is Zooming from. Is it London, where he moved to in 2017 after his Ross Poldark became the drooled-over king of Sunday-night television? Dublin, where he grew up, trained as an actor and returned to spend the first lockdown with his parents? Or Rome, where he shot his new series, Leonardo, in which he plays a young Leonardo da Vinci?

“None of the above!” Turner says. “I’m in Toronto.” The enigmatic charm, feline eyes and gleaming locks that he deployed so mercilessly in Poldark, The Hobbit films and Being Human are all there. “My missus is working here,” he explains, and so is he. That’s the American actress Caitlin FitzGerald, his partner of three years, whom he met when they starred in the 2018 film The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot. At first I assume the “missus” is laddish affectation but it turns out that it’s official: Turner and FitzGerald, both 37, got married in secret in Italy in August after filming finished on Leonardo. You can almost hear the sighs of disappointment ripple around the world.

Turner won’t say any more — he is famously guarded about his personal life — but he looks insanely happy in the couple’s rented apartment. FitzGerald — whose grandfather Desmond was a CIA agent and organised several plots to assassinate Fidel Castro — is shooting a series, Station Eleven, in Toronto while her husband works on another project that he’s not allowed to talk about. In their downtime they’ve been watching I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, an HBO documentary series about the Golden State Killer, and, on a lighter note, Ottolenghi and the Cakes of Versailles. They share the apartment with Charlie, an ebullient Norfolk terrier that Turner has to eject from the room halfway through our interview when he starts yapping. “I’m surprised he behaved for so long,” he says

Eight-part series Leonardo has been criticised for warping history

Like many of his fellow thesps, Turner has been doing a great deal of lockdown painting. “We have a roof garden here and the light has been really good,” he says. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this because I don’t know if the landlord knows. It’s not messy work anyway!” Unlike some of his peers — I’m looking at you, Pierce Brosnan — he has yet to unleash his daubings on the world. How would he describe his style? “I struggle to say abstract, but I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.” Did it help with playing Leonardo? “I don’t know. If you saw my paintings, you’d assume very much not,” Turner says. He has a studied line in self-effacement, honed after years of “sexiest man on TV” questions.

Leonardo premiered in Italy last month and was watched by seven million, many of them doubtless keen to see Turner brooding in a succession of smocks. The eight-part series has been criticised for warping history, having the artist accused of murder and featuring an apparently fictional muse, Caterina da Cremona, played by Matilda De Angelis from The Undoing. Luca Bernabei, the chief executive of Lux Vide who produced the series, defended it stoutly. “Matilda De Angelis’s character did exist. She was a model Leonardo asked to paint,” he said. “We have been really careful in our research. But this is not a documentary, we are not historians and this is not a university history lecture.”

And if the history pedants are spluttering, the art pedants should be happier — the series goes to considerable lengths to make the painting look authentic. Each episode is themed around a different masterpiece, from the portrait of Ginevra de’ Benci to The Last Supper to the Mona Lisa, and the candlelit cinematography is often sumptuous. Turner’s research included a private view of a Leonardo exhibition. “I spent some time alone with the actual paintings, which was brilliant,” he says. “They’re just like high-definition photographs. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a human had done this.”

Aidan Turner attended an artist’s boot camp before filming started

The series opens in Florence in the 1460s, with Leonardo a pupil of Verrocchio, played by the veteran Italian actor Giancarlo Giannini. Before the shoot Turner and his co-stars went on an artists’ boot camp (brush camp?) supervised by professionals. He says the hardest part was learning to paint, as Leonardo did, with his left hand. He compares it to learning to ride a horse for Poldark, which he pretended he knew how to do before going on a crash course when he got the part.

Brushwork was the same, he says. “I realised I had to get good quite quickly and look like I knew what I was doing with my left hand, which is more difficult than you would think. It’s keeping it steady — you find it just moves around a lot. Leonardo was very slow and precise — I think I got it down. After a few weeks you start picking up the brush with your left hand, it becomes natural.”

Leonardo was a vegetarian, Turner tells me, “and apparently later in life opened some sort of vegetarian restaurant”. He was also gay, something that, despite reports, the series does not shy away from. Was this Turner’s first time kissing a man on screen? He laughs. “Of all the things I was expecting you to ask next, that wasn’t one of them! In a lot of ways it was just another love scene. The fact that the gender was different — that was never a thing. No, it felt right. It didn’t feel any different at all. But yeah, to answer your question, that was the first time, which I’d never really thought of until now.”

What did feel weird, he says, were the Covid protocols. “Suddenly people are wearing masks and shields and hazmat suits. We had a big sanitisation machine as we walked in that would spray us. You take off the mask when you shoot the scene and it’s a bit strange for a second. Then you realise it’s the first time you’ve seen your co-star’s face that day. It’s not conducive to a very creative environment, for sure. But we made it work and nobody got sick.”

Turner spends a chunk of the first episode painting De Angelis, and both actors know what it’s like to be ogled. She has been asked endlessly about her naked locker-room sequence in The Undoing, just as he has been reminded of his shirtless scything scene in Poldark. Before that there was his lusted-after vampire in Being Human and his sexy dwarf in The Hobbit — branded a “dwilf” in some quarters — although that “definitely wasn’t the intention”, he says. “I think I just had less prosthetics on my face. My make-up call was 20 minutes and everyone else was sitting in the chair in the morning for three and a half hours. It wasn’t good to be around the other dwarfs in the mornings, that’s for sure.

“I get why people are interested,” he says of the ogling. “It’s just when it keeps coming up.”

We move on. According to a recent survey Cornwall has overtaken London as the most desirable place to live in Britain. Does he think Poldark played a part in that? He laughs. “Maybe we nudged a few people in the right direction. I think people forgot how beautiful that side of the world is. One of the first reviews of Poldark we read was like: ‘We can’t believe that this is our country, it looks like the south of France.’”

Could Poldark return, and would Turner be in it? If they stuck to the chronology of Winston Graham’s books they would have to leap ahead a few years. Maybe he could play an aged-up Ross Poldark in latex and fake paunch? “I don’t know if I’d be keen on the ageing-up thing,” he says. “It never really works. I don’t know whether they need to be too strict with that gap anyway. There’s the possibility someday, maybe. I enjoyed working with everybody on Poldark, from the writers right down to all the cast and crew. It really is like a family. So I’d be open to chat about it. But not for a while.”

Before that he will appear as the apostle Andrew in The Last Planet, the forthcoming biblical epic from Terrence Malick, revered creator of The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life. Well, he doesn’t know for sure if he will appear. Actors of the calibre of Rachel Weisz, Mickey Rourke and Jessica Chastain have seen their performances in Malick films vanish during editing.

“You want what’s best for the film. And if you don’t fit into it, you don’t fit into it,” Turner says in the tone of hair-shirt devotion that actors tend to use when talking about Malick. With a cast including Ben Kingsley and Mark Rylance as Satan, the movie is meant to tell the story of Jesus through a series of parables. Turner doesn’t really have a clue, though.

“You don’t necessarily know what you’re signing up to. You’re signing up to Terrence Malick,” he says. The director has “a great way of working. Everything is around ‘where is the sun’ at this particular time. That’s our natural light and it’s all we use. So things happen fast. There’s no trailers, hair, make-up, we’re just all together. You don’t know from day to day what you’ll be doing. It’s quite renegade stuff. That’s the way I always wanted to work.”

It’s closer to the immediacy of the theatre, which is where Turner started out. The son of an electrician, Pearse, and an accountant, Eileen, he represented Ireland at ballroom dancing before falling into acting. After studying at the Gaiety School of Acting in Dublin he acted in plays for five years and in 2018 he returned to the stage to rave reviews in Martin McDonagh’s The Lieutenant of Inishmore in the West End. Rave being the operative word — his performance was bracingly unhinged. “I can’t wait to get back to the theatre,” he says. “That’s what we’re looking at probably next.”

Turner’s character in The Lieutenant of Inishmore was an Irish freedom fighter, but he is reluctant to talk about the prospect of Irish reunification (“So I don’t get shot when I get home,” he told one interviewer). Culture is safer ground, and his native country is going through a purple patch with Sally Rooney in literature, Fontaines DC in music and the likes of McDonagh, Jessie Buckley and Denise Gough in drama. “It tends to happen in waves,” Turner says. “Coming out of drama school, Colin Farrell was such a big thing. When these actors really make it you can feel some of their light begin to shine on the industry back home.”

Like Farrell, Turner is an international star, although it has mainly been in period roles: Poldark, Leonardo, Andrew and his breakout turn as the 19th-century poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti in the 2009 series Desperate Romantics. It must be something about the hair.

That could be about to change, though. Toronto often stands in for New York, which suggests that his current mystery project has a contemporary setting. Does he yearn to act in jeans? “Yeah, you’re right,” he says with a laugh. “After Leonardo, I think tights and knee-length boots are out for a while.” Many would beg him to reconsider.

[rein4r1]

Portrait

Wc: 1.9k

Warning/s: Homophobia, Signs of Mental Illness, Mentions of Mental and Physical Abuse, Mentions of sexual activity, Dark Content

Pairing: [Modern AU] Mikasa x F!Reader (They/Them)

Genre: Fluff if you squint, Angst

Synopsis: On which Mikasa offers them a solution to their problems

or

They couldn't help but create a different reality

MINORS READ WITH DISCRETION

“So tell us Y/n L/n”

“Tell you what? I have nothing to tell you!”

“Tell us why you killed your parents.”

They pulled her knees to their chests, tightening their hold. The air from the AC doing nothing but worsen the already dreadful atmosphere. With shaking hands, they touched the side of their face, feeling the sting from where their father slapped them from hours ago. It wasn’t his aggressiveness that hurt them nor was it the shattered frame of a portrait that stood proudly on top of the island table, but it was their mother’s words; “I can’t believe we have a homosexual under our roof!”

Their parents were always conservative, believing that people who like the same sex are nothing but sinful. In all honesty, they believed every word they fed growing up. At least until they met her. Maybe deep down, they were already different from what their parents fear, just hiding in the closet. The first time they saw her was in the middle of the hallway, junior year in high school. To be honest, they didn’t have friends, them having friends is far-fetched anyway.

Not only did they hate their situation at home, but they also hate their situation at school. It’s not like they’re physically troubled by other kids, but they can always hear their murmurings, clearly them being the subject of their gossip.

“For someone with a pretty appearance, they sure are crazy.”

“Shut up! They might hear.”

School was already hell for them; just in the middle of the hallway stood a girl with short black hair, there she stood in the sea of despondence. They always had a downcast look, when was the last time they stared at anything but their feet. They can’t help but be drawn to her dark orbs, something about her enigmatic look draws them to her. The felt their body move automatically towards her, but in the heap of the crowd, she was gone. Their eyes searched any nook and cranny for her, hoping that there’s something she left by. And they felt it, the erratic beating of their hearts, as if nothing will help to calm it.

The next time they saw her was at the school’s courtyard, sitting at one of the benches looking like she’s lost in her own thoughts. They slowly approached her, sitting just at the other end of the bench. As if sensing their presence, her head turns towards them. Her face shows aloofness, but their eyes bore in theirs with curiosity. She turned her head back to the horizon, clearly not minding their presence.

“You look sad.” ‘What?’

“You look like… you’ve been failed by the people around you…” she continues as they look at her with sadness in their eyes.

“Wha- What are you talking about?...” And out of the blue, she pulled them towards her, letting their head rest on her shoulder. She brought her hand to caress their hair, and all they could do is cry. It’s been so long since they became vulnerable, looking no different than a walking corpse. “Don’t worry Y/n, I’m here now.” ‘Huh but how does she know my name?’

“Wait how did you-“

“I’ve always been watching you Y/n, I’m sorry it took me a long time.” They look at her face and saw genuine repentance. “But I haven’t- I don’t know who you are.” As if sensing their growing confusion, she smiled; “Mikasa, my name’s Mikasa.”

Mikasa is their first friend and the first person they talked outside of their family. They didn’t feel alone anymore with the girl beside them. The once suffocating halls didn’t feel smothering anymore. Their eyes didn’t look downcast, it slowly began to look less dull and look more with vigor. But that didn’t do anything to lessen the outlandish look their schoolmates gave them, their mumblings only continue to worsen. It didn’t matter anymore, since Mikasa is by their side, and she didn’t feel alone anymore.

Mikasa slept over at their house, this was something they’ve been looking forward the whole weekends. Lying together in their bed as they faced each other, Mikasa brought her nimble finger to draw in their features as she reached stay strand of their hair and placed it behind their eye. As if there was an unknown force that compels them to each other, they felt her lips brush against theirs in a gently manner. Feeling the way their lips moved in sync with each other, Mikasa’s kisses were steady, gentle, and slow

She looks at them as if she revers them with her whole entirety. They felt her hands drag across their skin like an adagio. Mikasa looked at their eyes for any signs of discomfort, but they only brought themselves closer as an answer. And that night, they made love under the light emanating from the moon.

A few days later, Y/n sat at the dining area with their parents for dinner. Their mother was babbling about how charming their neighbor’s son is. It fell into deaf ears of course, only having Mikasa in their thoughts.

“Y/n you should meet Mr. Grice’s son, I heard he’s about your age.” They snapped their head towards their father, they could not believe the words that came out of his mouth. Never in her life did he appreciate them having any malefriends. “You ought to have friends at your age, create a network with people.”

“I already have a friend ‘pa” he could only dismiss their reply. Their mother clearly being insistent on bringing the Grice boy and them together. “I know both of you are taking your exams for university, it doesn’t hurt having room for more people in your life.”

“I thought you never wanted me to have any guy friends.”

“But it’s the Grices we’re talking about.” They came to understand their mother’s intentions. The Grice family were considered wealthy and influential, who doesn’t want to marry into a rich family anyway? Obviously, Y/n L/n who only has Mikasa in their heart. Plus, the Grice boy already had an army of girls (and boys) willing to be his significant other. It was supposed to be a normal dinner, with them minding their business, leaving their parents to whatever chit chat they’re engrossed in. That is until, their father said something that triggered more on her already displeased mood.

“God, those sinners, parading around for some rights when they clearly don’t deserve any.” Her father muttered in disgust. The television was on, displaying news about a protest done by the LGBTQ+ community in accordance with the rights of their transgender brothers and sisters, considering that there is a rise of crimes towards the group. “If only they weren’t that then people wouldn’t-“

“I’m gay.” Their parents snapped their heads towards her, their expressions full of vexation.

“Y/n come again? What did you-“

“I’m fucking gay ‘ma, and I appreciate that the both of you stop asking those people for liability for something they clearly didn’t do, especially that they- we, are discriminated by people like –“ SLAP

They looked at their horrific faces, hand on their cheek. They expected this, they knew they were like this, but they couldn’t stand them any longer. They couldn’t help but think of Mikasa, the fact that they have this kind of mindset already means that after learning Mikasa’s existence, they’ll get in between them.

“I can’t believe we have a homosexual under our roof!” Their mother cried and their father’s face full of furry. “Go inside your room! We’ll deal with you later. FuckI can’t look at you right now without having the urge to murder you! And I don’t want to commit a sin like you!” Their father’s voice echoes around the room, as they quickly left her unfinished dinner, seeking solace inside their room. Sitting at the innermost corner of their bed, they leaned against the wall and brought their knees towards their chest. They expected them to be like this, but deep down they were hoping that they’d understand, that they’d accept them for who they are.

They felt their phone ring as they moved towards the bedside table and saw a text from Mikasa.

They immediately dashed towards their mini balcony, and there she is, Mikasa in all her glory. Seeing her made them break down, they found solace with this woman. To them, Mikasa is their sanctuary. Mikasa held them tight under the dark sky and the cold wind of the early hours of morning. She listened to them as they bawl their eyes out, pressing kisses on their face in hopes that this will make them feel better.

“I have something for you.” Mikasa reached something in her pocket to reveal a necklace with a vial as its pendant. They looked at the necklace with an astonished look, Mikasa then proceeds to wear the necklace on their neck. “You know you can do this Y/n” Mikasa smiled at them as she pressed another kiss on her shoulder, wrapping her arms around them. “I know you can”

Their parents woke up at the delightful smell of breakfast. They were bemused at the food that is already prepared on the table.

“Oh, both of you are awake, I prepared breakfast.” Their father looked at them suspiciously, but she only smiled cheerfully.

“What is this? Didn’t we tell you to-“

“I would like to apologize for yesterday, I was clearly stressed because of my exams. I was probably just confused… Yeah just stressed” they chuckled, they felt a bit unsure of their words, but they only brushed it off, content that their child finally came into their senses. They took a sip of their tea, as they began to converse with their parents. “You know about Grice, maybe I’ll approach him later at school.”

“Really? That’s great Y/n!” Her mother chimes.

“Yes ‘ma” They continue to look at their parents. Minutes pass as something went eerie that they could not explain. ‘Something’s weird’ their father glanced at their grinning face. They suddenly lack the ability to speak. As they slowly grow limp from their chairs. They could only stare at their child’s retreating form as the light in their gets swallowed by darkness.

“Tell us why you killed your parents.” Are they out of their mind? Kill? Why would Y/n kill their parents? They may have hurt them too many times, but they could never hurt their parents.

“Kill? I did not kill them!”

“The autopsy showed signs of poisoning, and the investigating team found its connection with the tea they drank. In addition, you were the last person they were last seen with.” They were confused, the tea?... The tea!

“It wasn’t me… It was… It was Mikasa!” Their eyes widen in confusion. “She gave me a vial. It was her!” They wrote their claim down on a piece of paper.

“Mikasa?... I need her last name.” He probes. ‘Wait, she never did give me her last name.’ The officer slid a small envelope. The opened it to reveal a portrait that looks oh so familiar. It’s one of the portraits her father flounced in the heat of anger. A portrait of a young woman with a baby in her hands. ‘No this can’t be… this is just a coincidence. This woman-‘

“-is Mikasa Ackerman, the one who gave birth to your mother.”

That night, they never received a text from her. It was only their alarm setting off.

An: I feel like this is badly written so bsoibhaoibh

I apologize for any grammatical errors and improper use of punctuation marks.

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 005

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)

authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩

there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.

especially being friends with jeon jungkook.

i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.

for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.

the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.

jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?

as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.

i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.

“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.

“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.

the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.

“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.

“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.

“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.

“what?”

“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.

“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.

“forced company?” i ask.

“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.

his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.

the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.

“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?

i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?

“do you think i am?”

“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.

it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.

the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.

“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.

“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.

“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.

“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.

“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.

“your cousin tried to kill herself.”

i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.

it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.

but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.

regret.

“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.

“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.

“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.

though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.

jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.

and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.

hope.

[captain-ross-poldark]

Poldark’s Aidan Turner on playing Leonardo da Vinci

Ed Potton

Friday 2 April 2021

Aidan Turner takes on the role of Renaissance polymath LeonardoJUSTIN SUTCLIFFE/EYEVIN

I’m trying to work out where Aidan Turner is Zooming from. Is it London, where he moved to in 2017 after his Ross Poldark became the drooled-over king of Sunday-night television? Dublin, where he grew up, trained as an actor and returned to spend the first lockdown with his parents? Or Rome, where he shot his new series, Leonardo, in which he plays a young Leonardo da Vinci?

“None of the above!” Turner says. “I’m in Toronto.” The enigmatic charm, feline eyes and gleaming locks that he deployed so mercilessly in Poldark, The Hobbit films and Being Human are all there. “My missus is working here,” he explains, and so is he. That’s the American actress Caitlin FitzGerald, his partner of three years, whom he met when they starred in the 2018 film The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot. At first I assume the “missus” is laddish affectation but it turns out that it’s official: Turner and FitzGerald, both 37, got married in secret in Italy in August after filming finished on Leonardo. You can almost hear the sighs of disappointment ripple around the world.

Turner won’t say any more — he is famously guarded about his personal life — but he looks insanely happy in the couple’s rented apartment. FitzGerald — whose grandfather Desmond was a CIA agent and organised several plots to assassinate Fidel Castro — is shooting a series, Station Eleven, in Toronto while her husband works on another project that he’s not allowed to talk about. In their downtime they’ve been watching I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, an HBO documentary series about the Golden State Killer, and, on a lighter note, Ottolenghi and the Cakes of Versailles. They share the apartment with Charlie, an ebullient Norfolk terrier that Turner has to eject from the room halfway through our interview when he starts yapping. “I’m surprised he behaved for so long,” he says.

Eight-part series Leonardo has been criticised for warping historyPA

Like many of his fellow thesps, Turner has been doing a great deal of lockdown painting. “We have a roof garden here and the light has been really good,” he says. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this because I don’t know if the landlord knows. It’s not messy work anyway!” Unlike some of his peers — I’m looking at you, Pierce Brosnan — he has yet to unleash his daubings on the world. How would he describe his style? “I struggle to say abstract, but I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.” Did it help with playing Leonardo? “I don’t know. If you saw my paintings, you’d assume very much not,” Turner says. He has a studied line in self-effacement, honed after years of “sexiest man on TV” questions.

Leonardo premiered in Italy last month and was watched by seven million, many of them doubtless keen to see Turner brooding in a succession of smocks. The eight-part series has been criticised for warping history, having the artist accused of murder and featuring an apparently fictional muse, Caterina da Cremona, played by Matilda De Angelis from The Undoing. Luca Bernabei, the chief executive of Lux Vide who produced the series, defended it stoutly. “Matilda De Angelis’s character did exist. She was a model Leonardo asked to paint,” he said. “We have been really careful in our research. But this is not a documentary, we are not historians and this is not a university history lecture.”

And if the history pedants are spluttering, the art pedants should be happier — the series goes to considerable lengths to make the painting look authentic. Each episode is themed around a different masterpiece, from the portrait of Ginevra de’ Benci to The Last Supper to the Mona Lisa, and the candlelit cinematography is often sumptuous. Turner’s research included a private view of a Leonardo exhibition. “I spent some time alone with the actual paintings, which was brilliant,” he says. “They’re just like high-definition photographs. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a human had done this.”

Aidan Turner attended an artist’s boot camp before filming startedVITTORIA FENATI MORACE

The series opens in Florence in the 1460s, with Leonardo a pupil of Verrocchio, played by the veteran Italian actor Giancarlo Giannini. Before the shoot Turner and his co-stars went on an artists’ boot camp (brush camp?) supervised by professionals. He says the hardest part was learning to paint, as Leonardo did, with his left hand. He compares it to learning to ride a horse for Poldark, which he pretended he knew how to do before going on a crash course when he got the part.

Brushwork was the same, he says. “I realised I had to get good quite quickly and look like I knew what I was doing with my left hand, which is more difficult than you would think. It’s keeping it steady — you find it just moves around a lot. Leonardo was very slow and precise — I think I got it down. After a few weeks you start picking up the brush with your left hand, it becomes natural.”

Leonardo was a vegetarian, Turner tells me, “and apparently later in life opened some sort of vegetarian restaurant”. He was also gay, something that, despite reports, the series does not shy away from. Was this Turner’s first time kissing a man on screen? He laughs. “Of all the things I was expecting you to ask next, that wasn’t one of them! In a lot of ways it was just another love scene. The fact that the gender was different — that was never a thing. No, it felt right. It didn’t feel any different at all. But yeah, to answer your question, that was the first time, which I’d never really thought of until now.”

What did feel weird, he says, were the Covid protocols. “Suddenly people are wearing masks and shields and hazmat suits. We had a big sanitisation machine as we walked in that would spray us. You take off the mask when you shoot the scene and it’s a bit strange for a second. Then you realise it’s the first time you’ve seen your co-star’s face that day. It’s not conducive to a very creative environment, for sure. But we made it work and nobody got sick.”

With his wife, the American actress Caitlin FitzGeraldREX FEATURES

Turner spends a chunk of the first episode painting De Angelis, and both actors know what it’s like to be ogled. She has been asked endlessly about her naked locker-room sequence in The Undoing, just as he has been reminded of his shirtless scything scene in Poldark. Before that there was his lusted-after vampire in Being Human and his sexy dwarf in The Hobbit — branded a “dwilf” in some quarters — although that “definitely wasn’t the intention”, he says. “I think I just had less prosthetics on my face. My make-up call was 20 minutes and everyone else was sitting in the chair in the morning for three and a half hours. It wasn’t good to be around the other dwarfs in the mornings, that’s for sure.

“I get why people are interested,” he says of the ogling. “It’s just when it keeps coming up.”

We move on. According to a recent survey Cornwall has overtaken London as the most desirable place to live in Britain. Does he think Poldark played a part in that? He laughs. “Maybe we nudged a few people in the right direction. I think people forgot how beautiful that side of the world is. One of the first reviews of Poldark we read was like: ‘We can’t believe that this is our country, it looks like the south of France.’”

Could Poldark return, and would Turner be in it? If they stuck to the chronology of Winston Graham’s books they would have to leap ahead a few years. Maybe he could play an aged-up Ross Poldark in latex and fake paunch? “I don’t know if I’d be keen on the ageing-up thing,” he says. “It never really works. I don’t know whether they need to be too strict with that gap anyway. There’s the possibility someday, maybe. I enjoyed working with everybody on Poldark, from the writers right down to all the cast and crew. It really is like a family. So I’d be open to chat about it. But not for a while.”

Turner with Eleanor Tomlinson in PoldarkMIKE HOGAN

Before that he will appear as the apostle Andrew in The Last Planet, the forthcoming biblical epic from Terrence Malick, revered creator ofThe Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life. Well, he doesn’t know for sure if he will appear. Actors of the calibre of Rachel Weisz, Mickey Rourke and Jessica Chastain have seen their performances in Malick films vanish during editing.

“You want what’s best for the film. And if you don’t fit into it, you don’t fit into it,” Turner says in the tone of hair-shirt devotion that actors tend to use when talking about Malick. With a cast including Ben Kingsley and Mark Rylance as Satan, the movie is meant to tell the story of Jesus through a series of parables. Turner doesn’t really have a clue, though.

“You don’t necessarily know what you’re signing up to. You’re signing up to Terrence Malick,” he says. The director has “a great way of working. Everything is around ‘where is the sun’ at this particular time. That’s our natural light and it’s all we use. So things happen fast. There’s no trailers, hair, make-up, we’re just all together. You don’t know from day to day what you’ll be doing. It’s quite renegade stuff. That’s the way I always wanted to work.”

It’s closer to the immediacy of the theatre, which is where Turner started out. The son of an electrician, Pearse, and an accountant, Eileen, he represented Ireland at ballroom dancing before falling into acting. After studying at the Gaiety School of Acting in Dublin he acted in plays for five years and in 2018 he returned to the stage to rave reviews in Martin McDonagh’s The Lieutenant of Inishmore in the West End. Rave being the operative word — his performance was bracingly unhinged. “I can’t wait to get back to the theatre,” he says. “That’s what we’re looking at probably next.”

Turner’s character in The Lieutenant of Inishmore was an Irish freedom fighter, but he is reluctant to talk about the prospect of Irish reunification (“So I don’t get shot when I get home,” he told one interviewer). Culture is safer ground, and his native country is going through a purple patch with Sally Rooney in literature, Fontaines DC in music and the likes of McDonagh, Jessie Buckley and Denise Gough in drama. “It tends to happen in waves,” Turner says. “Coming out of drama school, Colin Farrell was such a big thing. When these actors really make it you can feel some of their light begin to shine on the industry back home.”

Like Farrell, Turner is an international star, although it has mainly been in period roles: Poldark, Leonardo, Andrew and his breakout turn as the 19th-century poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti in the 2009 series Desperate Romantics. It must be something about the hair.

That could be about to change, though. Toronto often stands in for New York, which suggests that his current mystery project has a contemporary setting. Does he yearn to act in jeans? “Yeah, you’re right,” he says with a laugh. “After Leonardo, I think tights and knee-length boots are out for a while.” Many would beg him to reconsider.

All episodes of Leonardo will be on Amazon from April 16

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/poldarks-aidan-turner-on-playing-leonardo-da-vinci-wnmqhxqxr

[misslilli]

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Chapter 11 - Friday Night's Alright For Fighting

[ FM ]

On Friday, it’s Felix’s mother’s turn to pick him up from school since he’ll be spending the weekend at her place. I briefly wonder if he’ll tell her about his new-found admiration for the enigmatic Miss Scully and for just a little bit, the petty side of me wishes he would. It’s not that she’s a bad mother per se, but she never shared a strong connection with our son and ever since the divorce, it somehow got worse instead of better.

Felix took the divorce pretty hard, lashing out at me and the teacher and kids at kindergarten. There were times when I couldn’t even recognize my own kid. Because of my background in psychology, I tried to talk to him countless times but I finally had to admit that I was too emotionally involved to really help him. So we began to see a therapist back in Washington, D.C, him and I. His mother refused to participate because “He never acts out when he’s at my place, Fox, seems to me like that’s a you-problem.” That day, only the thought of what would become of my son if I went to jail had kept me from murdering her on the spot.

We don’t stay in contact much, except for negotiating pick-up and drop-off times for Felix, and that’s about all I can handle from her. The custody battle was a hot mess, not because she particularly wanted to keep Felix, but she used it to humiliate me, dragging my abilities as a father and caretaker through the mud in front of a judge and our lawyers. I tried to keep Felix out of the court hearings, putting my foot firmly down when her lawyer suggested that we could just ask the child where he wanted to live. He was three years old at the time, fat chance I was going to let that happen.

Thankfully, we were able to convince the judge that I was willing and more than capable of caring for our son and that me working from home was a more child-friendly environment than his mother’s job, which takes her out of the country several times a month.

I take off my reading glasses and close my laptop, this trip down memory lane has put me in a sour mood. After putting away everything work-related for the weekend, I stretch my arms over my head, contemplating what to do with my free time. I don’t have any friends here yet and since I can’t meet anyone at work, I decide to walk down the street to the harbor.

The streets are pretty busy with locals and tourists alike and as I walk past the crowd that stand around the rock that marks the place where the pilgrims debarked the Mayflower back in 1620, I think to myself ‘Guys it’s just a rock. In the ground. Walled in on all four sides.’ I was pretty disappointed, if you couldn’t already guess that.

I continue my walk and pass the dock where you can usually see the Mayflower II anchored, swaying with the waves of the Atlantic. She’s an accurate and beautiful reproduction of the original ship with which the pilgrims had sailed to America, founding Plymouth Colony after 10 gruesome weeks at sea.

Currently though, the dock is empty safe for a few seagulls harassing the tourists – they have taken the ship to a shipyard in Connecticut for restoration, much to Felix’s chagrin. When he heard that we were going to move here, he spent countless hours reading up on the history of Plymouth, the Pilgrims and everything that happened afterwards. He got a real kick out of imagining the American Protestors and the British Government officials dressed up in frilly dresses and huge feathered hats, actually having a fancy tea party instead of the Boston Tea Party, which escalated the American Revolution in 1773.

His special interest, though, had been captured by the Mayflower, which is not surprising because he loves anything that’s big and can transport people or cargo. Planes, helicopters, trains, you name it, but especially ships. On the first night in our new house, he insisted that we leave the boxes packed for now and head down to the harbor, right now.

At first, always the responsible adult, I refused, but he didn’t let up, resorting to pleading with me, then he practically begged me and when I still wouldn’t budge he went in for the kill with his puppy-dog look and a pronounced pout. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. Damn, he was using my very own look against me!

The tears still came a little while after, when we reached the harbor and found the dock deserted. I wanted to kick myself for not checking if the ship was actually there or not and I had to carry a bawling, devastated Felix back to our house. He only stopped crying when I promised him that we’d go see the Mayflower II the very second she sailed back into the harbor.

After another, more pleasant, trip down memory lane, I had reached my destination: The Cabby Shack, a local bar and restaurant that is made up of an inside bar downstairs and two large decks, the lower one housing the outside bar, the upper one the restaurant.

Making my way through the crowded room, I spotted an empty seat at the bar and ordered a drink aptly named Islands of Misfits. I snorted out a laugh at how accurately it described my situation right now. Island of Misfits alright, inhabitant: 1.

I took a sip of my drink and twirled the tiny umbrella between my fingers when out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone take the seat next to me at the bar.

“Islands of Misfits, huh? Must be bad!” Looking up, I’m surprised to see that it’s Walter Skinner, my son’s principal.

“Yeah, sort of. Sorry, hello sir, it’s nice to see you!” He shakes my hand briefly and orders himself a whiskey on the rocks. Had I been a more insecure man I would’ve felt stupid for my drink choice, but as it was, if I like my drinks sweet and with a cutesy umbrella in it, then that’s what I’ll have. And don’t you dare forget the fucking umbrella!

“So Mr. Mulder, what is it, love troubles?” As a born and raised city boy I have yet to come to terms with small town frankness but I like Principal Skinner and his lack of beating around the bush.

But still, I couldn’t exactly tell him the whole truth, I don’t think he’d appreciate a Actually yes, sir, I’ve been staring at one of your teachers for every damn day of the week and when I’m not busy staring at her, I think about her all the time. I wonder if her kisses taste like strawberries and what her hair smells like. I’m driving myself slowly insane by imagining running my tongue over the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and let me tell you about the dreams I’ve been having real quick. Yeah that won’t fly.

First, he’d kick my ass into the sixth dimension and then he’d have me arrested for gross misconduct or worse, sexual harassment. Even though I’m not sure if that’s really applicable when it only takes place in your mind, it’s still inappropriate as all hell and I’m not going to test out my little theory. I don’t think I’d fare well in jail, to be honest.

So instead, I opt for a more appropriate half-version of the truth. “Yeah, sort of. I had a huge argument with my ex-wife over the phone when she was late picking our son up from school. If I had one, I think my swear jar would be able to buy me my own Island of Misfits. And what’s even worse is that I think my – our son was there to hear at least her end of the fight.” I take a miserable sip from my drink.

“I’m really sorry to hear that, Mr. Mulder. Your son’s name is Felix, right? He’s in Miss Anderson’s first grade?” Thankful for the slight change of topic, I nod.

“Yes, sir, that’s him. We got off to a rocky start but after the first week, he really loves going to school, Mr. Skinner.” The other man shakes his head and offers me his hand once again.

“Please, call me Walter. Outside of school only, of course, you understand.”

I grab his hand and give it a brief shake, smiling wryly. “Of course. I’m Fox but I make everyone call me Mulder. Even my parents. I hate my name.” He huffs out a laugh at that and I can tell that it’s a rare occasion.

“I get the feeling you’re in need of a friend on your island, Mulder not Fox.”

That I do, indeed.

Island of Maybe not such Misfits, inhabitants: 2.

Chapter 12 - A Rainbow In Its Natural Habitat

[fanmoose12]

a little fic i’ve written based on this. Enjoy!

“Erwin!” Mike burst into his office, looking unusually pleased. “You would never guess what I just witnessed!”

“Hange and Levi making out in a corridor?” Erwin replied without raising his head from the paperwork.

Mike’s jaw dropped. How did he—? Could Erwin read minds now too? “How did you guess?” Mike dejectedly asked.

As he finally looked up, Erwin wore a smug grin on his usually serious face. “I’ve seen them too. Several times actually.”

“Huh? And you didn’t think to tell me? I thought we were friends, Erwin!”

Erwin shrugged. “I thought you knew. With your nose, I was sure you couldn’t miss this new development.”

Mike made a face. “You know I try not to smell Hange. Remember that time when I sniffed her hair and got an allergy for a whole week?” Mike shuddered at the memory, but then a huge grin appeared on his face. “Hey, do you think they’re trying to be secretive about this?”

“I’m sure of it. Have you noticed that Levi stopped sitting next to Hange during meetings?”

“And they don’t eat together anymore.” Mike nodded. “I thought they were fighting or something… But they are just trying to hide their relationship? Should we tell them we found out?”

Erwin didn’t answer for a long moment, staring into distance and rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Hey Mike,” he finally called. “Want to start a bet?”

Mike shook his head. “You and your obsession with gambling.”

“Do you accept or not?”

“Who are you taking me for? Of course, I accept! What are we betting on?”

“On how long Levi and Hange will continue to keep their relationship in secret.”

“Two weeks.” Mike stated undoubtedly. “Two weeks and the whole Survey Corps will know that they’re fucking.”

“Aha,” Erwin smiled enigmatically. “But the bet isn’t about that. It’s not about when everyone else will find out. It’s about when Hange and Levi will realize that everyone knows.”

“In that case…” Mike trailed off, thinking. “In that case, two months.”

Erwin hummed. “I’d say it will take them a year. At the very least.”

“The one who loses buys the best booze from MPs?”

Erwin smirked, shaking Mike’s hand. “Deal.”

***

To his shame, when Moblit saw them for the first time, he had completely misinterpreted the situation. He saw Captain Levi bent over Squad Leader Hange, and only one thought came to his mind: Captain Levi finally snapped. She managed to push him to the edge. And now Captain was trying to kill Hange-san with his bare hands.

In his defense, the lab was as dimly lit as always, with only a few candles illuminating the large room. Besides, all Moblit could see was Captain’s wide back. And the quiet groans coming from Squad Leader Hange only further proved Moblit’s guess.

He almost made a move, almost took a step closer, determined to at least try to save his beloved superior. Sure, Captain Levi was abnormally strong, and Moblit honestly didn’t have a chance in a fight against him, but he couldn’t just abandon his Squad Leader, right?

Moblit had already raised his leg, when he heard it, loud and clear.

“Oh, Levi, y-yes, exactly there…”

Moblit froze in place, with his leg still raised in the air. His cheeks reddened instantly, and he closed his eyes, trying to drawn out all the noises. Now everything was beginning to make sense.

Captain Levi wasn’t trying to kill his Squad Leader, oh no, he was trying… he was doing… Moblit closed his eyes tighter, trying not to think about what exactly his two superiors were doing right now. Instead he focused on planning what should he do next.

Obviously he had to leave, and leave quickly. As much as he cherished and respected his Squad Leader, he had no desire to know anything about her personal life. With Captain Levi, of all people. But Moblit also had to be extra careful. One wrong move, and they would hear him. Captain Levi would hear him.

Yeah, Moblit definitely wasn’t looking forward to that.

He slowly and very, very carefully took a step back. And then another one. And another one, until his back had hit the door. His hand tentatively touched the handle and turned it, mindful to make as little sound as possible. A second later, and the door was opened, and Moblit was almost saved.

Although, as it turned out he didn’t have to worry so much. Captain Levi and Squad Leader Hange seemed too focused on whatever they were doing to notice him.

As he finally exited the lab, Moblit breathed the sigh of relief. He needed to get drunk right fucking now. He had to get this image out of his mind.

If only he had known then that it was the first but definitely not his last time seeing Captain and his Squad Leader together.

***

Petra always admired her Captain. From the moment she had set her eyes on his not so tall, but definitely proud figure, her heart was filled with immense loyalty and adoration for this man. He wasn’t only strong and fearless, but he was kind and considerate too. Maybe, he didn’t show it, but Captain cared about other people and his fellow soldiers. And sometimes, Petra felt like Captain was paying extra attention to her, like he was especially kind and caring with her. It was probably wishful thinking, but Petra liked to think that she was special for Captain. Not just another one of his subordinates, not just another member of Survey Corps, but someone who he could talk with and open up to. Someone he trusted and someone he cared about.

That’s why Petra didn’t like the rumors about her Captain and Squad Leader Hange. Of course, as so many others she also noticed that something was going on between them. There was something weird in their interactions. Something unspoken, but almost palpable. And as hard as she tried to ignore it, Petra couldn’t deny that Captain Levi was different around Squad Leader Hange. He was less guarded, more open. As Petra watched him during one of his many banters with Squad Leader, she couldn’t shake the feeling that Captain’s eyes were almost shining as he gazed at the bespectacled scientist.

But still, Petra was just a girl. Even if she was a strong soldier and one of the most prominent fighters in the whole Survey Corps, deep inside her still lived a gentle soul, filled with hope and desire for love. And so she hoped against all odds that one day Captain would finally see her and realize his feelings for her.

Petra was slowly making her way through the dark corridors of Survey Corps’ headquarters. It was almost midnight, and most soldiers had already retrieved to their beds, but Petra knew that one person was still awake. Captain Levi’s insomnia was a known fact amongst the scouts, as almost everyone at least once saw him up at night, working in his office or drinking tea in the mass hall.

And so Petra decided to surprise Captain with a cup of tea. She bought it specifically for him during her last trip to town, and Petra hoped that its exquisite taste would lift Captain’s spirits. Maybe, he would even grace her with that rare, but pretty smile of his.

Petra speeded up, eager to get to Captain’s room. She smiled as she turned the corner and saw that the light was still coming from his room. Petra took a deep breath, gripping the tray with tea tighter in her hands.

She was almost by Captain’s door, when she heard a voice coming out of it.

“Levi, c’mon!” Petra immediately recognized Squad Leader Hange’s deep voice. The corners of her mouth slid down. What was she doing so late at night? And in Captain’s room?  “You can’t just ignore me, I’ve finished my work earlier, so we could spend more time together!”

“I’m busy.”

“Leeeevi!” Hange whined. “Are you still angry with me?”

Huh? Did Captain and Squad Leader Hange have a fight? Curious, Petra took a step closer. There was a small crack in the door, and through it she could see what was going on inside the room. Captain was at his desk, probably writing a report, while Hange leaned on his chair.

“You threw me out.” Captain replied. It was obvious that he tried to make his voice sound neutral, but Petra could hear that his words were tainted with anger.

“I was in a middle of an important experiment!” Hange threw her hands in the air. “I couldn’t let you distract me!”

“You. Threw. Me. Out.” Captain repeated, turning his head to glare at Squad Leader.

“But Levi! I came here today, didn’t I? And I apologized!”

“You didn’t.”

“Well, I’m apologizing now.”

Squad Leader moved from her place and only Petra’s quick reflexes saved her from gasping out loud. Because Squad Leader Hange got to her feet and then sat down. Right at Captain Levi’s lap. With wide, shocked eyes Petra watched how she casually circled her hands around his neck.

“I’m really, really sorry for throwing you out, my dear, beloved Levi.” Hange punctuated her words with a kiss. “Is your heart kind enough to forgive me?”

“You’re so full of shit.” Captain replied gruffly, his hands coming to wrap themselves around Squad Leader’s back. “Fine, I can finish this work tomorrow.”

“Yay!” Hange exclaimed, leaning in to give Levi another kiss. She yelped in surprise, when Levi got up, still holding her in his hands. Her legs circled Levi’s waist, and Petra closed her eyes, taking a swift step back.

She had seen more than enough.

She turned around, making her way back to her room. As she walked through the dark corridors, Petra realized that she didn’t feel as sad as she probably should be. Seeing Captain and Squad Leader made her realize that she wasn’t in love with Captain Levi himself, but with an idea of him. She dreamed about someone who would be strong enough to protect her, but wasn’t Petra already strong? Maybe, she didn’t need someone to protect her, maybe, all she needed was someone, who would be holding her hand and fighting alongside her, not hiding her behind their back.

Besides, it seemed like Captain Levi and Squad Leader Hange really made each other happy, and Petra was happy for them. In their world, cruel and dangerous as it was, it was vital to cherish every moment with your loved ones.

And Petra was happy that Captain Levi managed to find a person like that. Someone, who cared about him and listened to him. Someone who was always there for him.

In the end, she was really happy that Captain fell in love with someone. Even if it wasn’t with her.

***

When he first joined Survey Corps, Jean preferred to ignore all the rumors about Captain Levi and Squad Leader Hange. Of course, it was funny to gossip about them during breakfasts, but Jean didn’t dare to joke about it in the presence of Captain Levi. Besides, it was hard to imagine Captain and Squad Leader together.

When he was still just a recruit and before he got to know Captain and Squad Leader Hange, Jean couldn’t understand the roots of those rumors. Both Captain and Hange-san seemed completely foreign to the concept of love and affection. Captain was always so serious, and his hard eyes always made Jean shudder. And Squad Leader Hange seemed too invested in her work and research to notice anyone who was shorter than four meter.

But as the time went by and Jean survived one disaster after another alongside two veterans, he started to realize that he was wrong. Captain Levi, as scary as he appeared, was actually a very kind man. Sure, he frequently kicked Jean’s ass and made him work harder that Jean ever thought he was capable to, but he did it, because he cared, because he wanted Jean to become stronger, because he wanted to do everything in his power to ensure his survival.

And Hange-san was the biggest weirdo Jean had ever seen, there was no denying it. However, she wasn’t crazy or heartless as some soldiers claimed. She was actually kind of nice, and sometimes she even reminded Jean of his mother. Not that she was as annoyingly over-bearing as Jean’s mom, but her gentle smile and kind eyes frequently made Jean think of his family and home.

When she quietly asked him if he was tired, or when she brought tea for him, or when she ordered him to take a day-off, noticing the dark circles that started to appear under his eyes, Jean couldn’t help the wave of fondness and affection that settled over him as he gazed in Commander Hange’s eyes.

And, of course, as he got to know Commander Hange and Captain Levi, Jean couldn’t ignore the signs of their undeniably strong bond. He noticed the shared jokes and gentle teasing, the small, but fond glances and the not so discreet touching of each other’s hands. There was no denying that Captain and Commander cared for each other more deeply than they showed.

And really, Jean would have been very happy if it all stayed that way. If everything he knew about his superiors’ relationship ended with them holding hands beneath the table. But, unfortunately, life wasn’t as kind to Jean as he had hoped.

When he saw them for the first time during his training in a forest, Jean was terrified. He saw Captain Levi pressing Commander Hange against one of the trees, holding her tightly and kissing her passionately, and not a single joke or jab appeared in his mind. He felt nothing but panic.

One wrong move, and Jean was sure that Captain would see him. Sure, Commander Hange would probably just laugh it all off, but Jean wasn’t too keen on spending his entire week, cleaning the dirtiest toilets in the Survey Corps’ headquarters.

One time was more than enough.

So he slowly backed up, trying to make as little noise as possible. He knew he couldn’t use his ODM-gear, afraid that it would be too loud in the quiet forest. So Jean carefully climbed down from a tree and headed back to the barracks, trying to put this incident out of his mind.

And maybe, he would have forgotten about this, but once he saw Commander Hange and Captain once, he couldn’t stop catching them in the most unexpected places. He’d go to a library to find himself a book, and Commander would be there with Captain Levi sprawled beneath her. He’d decide to clean his horse, and in the stables he would happen upon his two superiors, passionately making out on a stack of hay. He’d go to the town to visit his mother, and on his way back to the headquarters he would see Captain and Commander, dressed in their civilian attire and kissing on the bench in the park.

This was honestly getting ridiculous, and what baffled Jean the most was the fact that Captain Levi and their highly intelligent and observant Commander were confident that their relationship was a complete secret to the others. They acted surprised and embarrassed when someone walked up on them, and their ridiculous excuses became a running joke amongst Jean’s friends from 104th.

Jean honestly had half a mind to tell them the truth. To tell them that they didn’t fool anyone, and that they didn’t need to fool anyone. Not a single soul in the Survey Corps gave a fuck about their relationship, they were actually happy for them. Jean and his squad were especially happy for them. Sometimes they even joked about Commander and Captain being the mom and dad of Survey Corps, as they so often acted like their parents.

But in the end, it wasn’t any of Jean’s business. If they wanted to keep it a secret, they surely had a valid reason for that. Or maybe, they didn’t, and both Captain and Commander Hange just weren’t comfortable in sharing the details of their personal lives. Whatever the case, they were adults and Jean’s superiors, so he could do nothing, but respect and tolerate their relationship.

Jean cursed, as he walked up to Commander Hange’s office and saw Connie leaning on the wall next to the door.

“I take it Captain Levi is already inside?”

Connie’s cheeks flamed and he made an expression that was half-horrified, half-disgusted. “For fuck’s sake, Jean!” he whispered with wide eyes. “You can’t just say things like that!”

As he understood what Connie had implied, Jean’s face reddened as well. “I didn’t mean it like that!” he said, trying and failing to keep his voice devoid of embarrassment. “I meant to ask if Captain is inside Commander’s office, and not inside… ins—” he paused, spluttering and blushing a deeper shade of red.

Connie burst out laughing. “Man, you should have seen your face!” he patted Jean’s shoulder. “It was hilarious! Oh, Sasha should have been here to see it!”

“Shut up!” Jean hissed, turning his face away. It was still as red as a tomato. “It was you have misunderstood me in the first place!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Connie smirked. “We all know that you’re a pervert, Jean, don’t try to deny it.”

“Whatever.” Jean muttered, still avoiding Connie’s eyes and gripping the papers in his hands tighter. “Anyway, how long have you been standing there?”

Connie shrugged. “Almost half an hour. So get in line, Mikasa’s also waiting, she needs to talk with Captain Levi.”

“I just need Hange-san to sign some papers for me.”

“And I need to get a provision list from her, so like I said. Get in line.”

Jean sighed, leaning on the wall next to Connie. They stood in silence for some time, before the peace was interrupted by a long and loud moan. Both Jean and Connie winced.

“I hope they’ll finish soon,” Jean mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, it’s a little impressive, don’t you think?” Connie nudged him in the side. “Not that Captain or Commander are old, but, well, they’re not young, right? And here we are waiting for them to finish for almost an hour.”

“Connie.” Jean pinched the bridge of his nose, his voice strained. “I’m begging you – shut the fuck up.”

“I’m just saying,” Connie raised his hands in a placating gesture. “They have great stamina.”

Jean groaned. “Please, can we stop talking about sex between Captain and Hange-san? I really don’t want to think about it.”

Connie opened his mouth to reply, but he was interrupted when the door to Commander’s office opened, and Captain Levi walked out.

His cheeks were the faintest shade of red, and his expression was unusually relaxed. There was even a hint of a smile on his lips. “Jean, Connie.” He nodded to them.

“Captain!” Connie saluted, while Jean poked his head inside Hange-san’s room. She was sitting at her table, her hair even messier than usual. There was a wide grin on her face and she was quietly humming while shifting through papers on her desk.

And suddenly, Jean felt a surge of bravery run through him. He looked down on Captain Levi, his lips curving into a smirk. “Captain, did you and Commander have another one of your strategic meetings?”

“Of course,” Levi grumbled, raising the collar of his shirt higher. Jean exchanged a look with Connie, as both of them saw a small hickey on Captain’s neck. “If you have any business with Commander, do it quickly. She had a long day and she needs to rest.”

“Strategic meetings are so tiring?” Jean barely held in a laugh, as he saw that Captain’s cheeks became red again. He muttered something intelligible before swiftly walking away.

Jean and Connie waited for him to disappear behind the corner before bursting out laughing.

“Man, how haven’t they noticed that everyone knows about them?” Connie asked between his laughs.

“Noticed what?”

Both Jean and Connie whirled around, their eyes widening and face paling.

“H-hange-san?” Jean asked shakily.

“C’mon, guys!” Hange smiled brilliantly at them. “Tell me what was so funny! You know I like a good laugh!”

“Ehh,” Connie scratched the back of his neck, desperately trying to avoid Commander’s gaze. “Sasha and Niccolo, that Marleyan guy, well, they, um, confessed to each other!”

To Jean’s knowledge, they didn’t. He wasn’t sure if Sasha even knew about Niccolo’s feelings, but it wasn’t a bad excuse. Maybe, Hange-san would even believe them.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Hange clasped her hands in delight. “I’m very happy for them. In our world, it’s important to find someone to love.” She extended her hands and ruffled Jean and Connie’s hair. “You should find yourself someone, too, boys.”

“Have you found yourself someone like that, Hange-san?” Jean asked, eyeing her carefully.

“Of course,” She agreed instantly, smiling gently. “I have you two, Sasha, Mikasa, Eren and Armin.”

“And Captain Levi?”

“And, of course, Levi,” a pretty blush appeared on Hange’s cheeks. “Where I would be without him?” She shook her head, straightening her shoulders. “Anyways, do you need something from me?”

“It can wait.” Jean waved his hand. “Take some rest, Commander. It looks like you need it.”

Hange chuckled, running a hand through her hair. “Then I guess I’ll retire for today. But if you need me, don’t hesitate to come and get me.”

“Of course, Commander.” Connie saluted. “Have a nice evening.”

She looked at Jean and Connie fondly, patting their shoulders. “Thank you, boys. You should rest as well. Gather all your friends and visit town or something. Have some fun. You deserve it.”

Connie and Jean nodded with a smile, and Hange bid them farewell, closing the door to her office and heading towards her room.

When Hange reached the end of a corridor, she was joined by Captain Levi. He looked around, checking if anyone was around, and then wrapped his hands around her shoulders. Commander Hange leaned on him and together they walked away.

Jean sighed, as he watched that scene. Suddenly, he remembered dark eyes and beautiful black hair. He remembered a soft, rare smile that was never directed on him. Jean ran a hand through his hair. Who would have ever thought that he would be envious of his two superiors?

“C’mon,” Connie tugged at his coat. “Commander Hange gave us a permission to go to town. Let’s use it to get drunk at the tavern.” Connie smirked, hugging Jean’s shoulder. “Maybe we’ll find our special people there.”

And while, Jean was very doubtful that it would be true, that his heart would be able to love anyone, except her, he still let Connie drag him out to the bar. And, maybe, his friend was right, maybe, Jean would also meet someone who would love him. Who would make him just as happy as Commander Hange and Captain Levi made each other.

[vegalocity]

What would happen if Syntax actually did get cured of the venom? Would he still want to hang around Huntsman and Goliath or would he Think 'huh. Maybe having the people who KIDNAPPED ME around me and my family Probably isn't the best idea.' - Pixel Anon

Uhhhhhhhhhhh yeah I think the answer is Not Good Things Will Happen. I think the answer is ‘Y’all are down an integral clan member hope you didn’t have any plans that hinged on technology or science in general right now.’

Honestly I think you don’t even need to throw Minyi and Xiuying into that equation to make that the answer. Even if you assume Syntax was essentially just alone in the world before spiderfication if he got the spider limbs pulled off and the venom drained from his system, no matter WHAT his Backstory is i think he’d just book it, he’d be OUTTA THERE he is GONE. He’s running before the purple has fully faded from his skin.

And when you THROW IN the ladies, then… well even more so. He’s got Minyi in one arm, a duffel bag in the other and loading into the gd car headed for Xiuying’s cabin to lay low for awhile.

(this gets long so it's under the cut)

Like, most people like to assume that there was a sort of… adjustment period when he had just been spiderfied, usually the flavor of ‘someone (usually Huntsman) reminding him of how he is at his base a human, not a spider, not one of them, and the second he stops being useful is the second he’s only good for how he’ll taste’ and even if he wasn’t afraid of whoever it was in the moment, confident in his ability to manuver extra limbs that aren’t there anymore and speed that wasn’t there either, all the physical additions that being a Spider Demon had are suddenly gone and that threat about being the next meal for the clan suddenly feels a lot more real. Even IF the others had actually grown attached to him and Minyi and even Xiuying, the fact of the matter is if these people decided to kill them all he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Something I could see having kind of a ‘disney channel cartoon’ resolution in this setup is a thing idk if i’ve mentioned before involving Minyi or not. Bc Minyi, as i know i have mentioned, fucking HATES Spider Queen, and at first for awhile there she was very vocal about it, she hated that her dad was working for her, she hated that he wanted her approval, and most of all she hated that whenever she’d say any of that to him, he’d just sort of… not listen.

Even when even Minyi knows what she’s talking about is silly or irrational, she never really feels like Daddy isn’t listening. Even when she’s wrong and he has to explain to her what it was that was wrong, she still felt like he was listening to her as she talked. But not this. Never this. Minyi’s an observant child, her plotline hinges on it, so she knows when Adults tune her out, she knows when she’s being condescended to. And when Daddy tells her that of course he wants to stay Loyal to Spider Queen and she’s Really Cool Actually she can tell he wasn’t listening to a word she’d actually said. Because he never mentions forgiving her for stealing him, or that he knows it might look like she pushes him around but he knows he’s always in control of the situation, or anything that would actually ANSWER her questions or settle her worries. She just… might as well have stomped her foot and yelled like she was half her age.

And now that his head is clear he can look back on that and be… embarrassed? guilty? His daughter was warning him that whole time out of honest fear and concern that she only barely had the vocabulary and emotional complexity to understand And he brushed her off as if it was nothing. And to rub some salt into it now that his head is clear and the unrelenting force of the Spider demanding subserviance to the Queen is gone it’s obvious that his fucking six year old was right about his ‘boss’ being bad news. So of course he figures he owes Minyi an apology, but Minyi’s just happy that he’s listening to her again so it’s all okay in the end.

And if this is the Cyberhunt timeline then can I get an F in the chat for Huntsman? Bc he ain’t even getting a breakup scene, i don’t think he’d even get a letter outside of the ‘I’m leaving the clan and leaving the city with my family. Don’t try to find us’ that goes out to all of the clan (maybe even still implying that Syntax DOES still have that Spider amplification in him so it’s not just a flimsy ‘stay away’ from an equally flimsy human)

I could see Syntax as being pretty mad at himself for letting the relationship happen at all in that context. Like yeah, his brain was all scrambled up and he can’t ACTUALLY be held accountable for decisions made with the fact that he wasn’t really in his right mind for the whole thing, but it still happened. But now it’s over, and- and it was just some echo of venom that hadn’t quite metabolized yet that left a bitter taste in his mouth to acknowledge that those people weren’t really friends, that he wasn’t really-... His brain is still re-adjusting, he’ll be fine in time.

Minyi I don't think would quite get certain parts about this, in her mind, the big boss is always the bad guy and the other people around are just as scared of the big boss as the person they’re bullying. So to her only Spider Queen was the bad guy. So when Daddy turned back to normal and said that they weren’t safe from the bad guys anymore and needed to go stay at Auntie Xiuying’s cabin for awhile she’d thought that Uncle Huntsman and Uncle Goliath hadn’t come along simply because Uncle Goliath didn’t fit in the car. That they’d catch up with them soon. Because surely, they’d ALL be running away from the REAL bad guy together.

So, she figures they must have gotten lost and had to head back home. Thats not good, surely that means she needs to help them find their way here like how she helped Daddy find his way home. Auntie and Daddy were both too scared of Spider Queen finding them to contact her uncles, but Minyi knew how to evade that!

She knows Uncle Huntsman likes to hang out at their apartment because he loves Daddy (she’ll keep that to herself for now, grownups don’t believe in happily ever afters) so if she mails a letter to the apartment he might find it when he eventually comes over.

She knows Uncle Huntsman doesn’t like puzzles, but he’s good with them when its something important. So she makes a cipher and writes the letter in it, copies down the decoder, and chops it up into distinct shapes, seals it all up in a letter closes the envelope with a sticker on it, and slips it into the mailbox.

Eventually Huntsman does find the letter, written in childish scrawl, the puzzle to decode the letter, and the knowledge that theres only one child on this entire damn continent that would be this obnoxiously enigmatic about sending a fucking letter.

But whatever, he wasn’t gonna do anything except sit in the apartment surrounded by things left behind and feel sorry for himself--er, that is, scavenge for anything that could be used by the Queen and take advantage of the internal heating. So he may as well do something. So he puts together the decoder, she’d just sliced it into fourths. Then translated the letter.

“Hi Uncle Huntsman! If you’re reading this that means you unlocked my letter! Yay! I knew you could! So I know you and Uncle Goliath want to leave the bad lady’s clan too and I know you’re only not here because you guys got lost.” and she just… gave them the coordinates for the place her family was hiding away. (not REALLY hiding, it wouldn’t have taken much to track down the cabin’s whereabouts through Xiuying, but the secluded nature of the cabin may as well have been)

I guess… the way the story ends depends on how you want it to end. Because Huntsman has three options, but really only two. Does he accept defeat and burn the letter, or does he do something with the information he now has? Either way he’d be betraying the queen, but he doesn’t have it in him to turn in the coordinates of their lost clan member and his family. Not this time.

There’s this youtuber i like called Breadsword, he does movie analysis, and in his video about Millenium Actress he says something along the lines of ‘My favorite moment in a romance is somewhere in the last ten minutes, after we’ve followed our characters through the buildup, payoff, and premature destruction of what they had, as they go their separate ways and come to the conclusion that it wasn’t meant to last, one rejects it and takes flight in pursuit of the other... our dreams and our love are the only things truly worth running in the name of.

[himbowelsh]

If you want to, 9 or 19 with webgott? I hope you have a wonderful week 💕

i’ve got another prompt for #19, so how about #9?

sha-la-la-la my oh my, looks like the boy’s too shy  💋 (accepting!)  9.  one small kiss, pulling away for an instant, then devouring each other 

The stars are brighter tonight than any other time in recent memory... and it’s not like Austrian skies aren’t impressive as a rule. The nights shine brighter in the countryside than they ever did over the bustle of New York City. No matter how many times he sees the skies alight, David will never get used to it. Something divine shimmers in each blinking star, something earnest and mythical in the constellations strewn like New Years’ confetti across the sky. He is not a spiritual man, but Austrian nights make him feel like he could be, maybe.

Tonight, the sky is putting in extra effort. Each star feels like a beacon, calling him away from war and mourning. One of them, he muses, might be Janovec. 

He spun off the road just that morning, with little warning and no fanfare. One second, he was alive. The next... the war had claimed him too, and he didn’t even have a bullet wound to show for it.

The men who died on D-Day were heroes. David saw them drown in waist-deep swamps... gurgle to death on blood and bullets... strangled by their own risers and left hanging from trees like Halloween decorations. Heroic deaths, all of them, and their parents must claim some sense of pride in knowing their sons lives ended, not in agony and fear, but in resolute patriotism.

American heroes still sob for their mothers in their last moments. David still hears their screams.

Isn’t it such a privilege to die for one’s country?

Janovec didn’t even get that. He wasn’t taken out by enemy gunfire — only it was an American Jeep, and an enemy tree. Hoobler didn’t die in the heat of battle. His killer was a German pistol, but an American hand. Van Klinken caught machine gun fire, but he bled to death on Dutch soil, with Dutch dirt in his mouth and Dutch ash mixing with his tears.

Will they be called heroes, now that the fighting is done?

Austrian summer is warm, but there’s always a chill this high up. It bites at David’s exposed skin. He draws himself up a bit tighter, knees pulling close to his chest. There’s no real danger of overbalancing. The street may be a dizzying distance below, but this part of the rooftop is steady and nearly flat. He’d never have climbed out otherwise. David is not in the business of risking his own life unnecessarily. He fought a war, which ought to be enough; he’s got no intention of dying now that it’s done.

(Done for some, in limbo for others. In a few months, will they all be speaking Japanese?)

It’s chilly up here, but quiet, and perfectly dark — exactly what he was looking for. The sky sprawls above him, endless and alive with constellations. Each one welcomes him, calls out to him, tugs at the exposed threads of his soul. There, glistening brightly off to the right — is that Janovec? There, the one with the steady glow — Hoobler? Or maybe it’s Jackson — maybe those twin stars, glittering playfully side by side, are Muck and Penkala. Maybe there’s a place in the sky for more — hundreds, thousands, him —

“You gotta be kidding me.”

The unexpected voice jars him, like waking from a deep sleep. David flails. If the roof were any more perilous, he’d have certainly gone over the edge — but if this occurs to the intruder clambering out the rooftop window, he doesn’t seem to care.

“Of all the places — ow, fuck —“ Joe Liebgott smacks his head against the top of the frame. He’s too lanky; on the ground, he carries his long limbs with the grace of a feline, but he clearly wasn’t made for cat burglary. David sucks his lip, determined not to laugh, as Joe awkwardly forces his too-big body through the opening. “Of all the places to get yourself killed, Web, you know how to pick ‘em.”

“Figured it would have happened by now, in some way or another,” he replies with an easy shrug. “Why wait for anyone’s help?”

Joe says nothing — unless another muffled curse as his foot gets caught on the frame counts. By the time he manages to haul himself out onto the rooftop, he’s got a tear in his shirt sleeve, and multiple bruises to show for the effort. Never mind the fact that David didn’t invite him, or tell him where he was going; Joe still huffs at him as if it’s somehow his fault.

“People who can’t climb out windows typically shouldn’t,” is all David has to say on the subject.

“If they were made to be climbed out of, they’d be bigger.” Joe inches forward on his hands and knees, peering over the ledge with his typical morbid curiosity. A low whistle echoes through the quiet night. With a sigh, David settles back in his comfortable spot, watching the interloper warily. He doesn’t know why Joe’s here. Nevermind what he wants — he’s never been able to figure that out, and they’ve known each other for nearly a year now.

Instead of explaining himself, as he can usually be relied on to do, Joe goes quiet. It’s... somehow worse than chatter. Silence is heavy, like a lead blanket draped over their shoulders, weighing them both down. It feels more intimate, somehow. There’s not much space on this rooftop, only a few feet of distance between them, but the longer the quiet stretches on the more that distance shrinks to inches.

If only he’d brought cigarettes — that’s something to share, and a good excuse for sitting alone at night. As it is, if Joe asks what he’s doing out here... David doesn’t know what he’d say.

Joe isn’t paying attention to him, though. His gaze, too, is trained on the sky. No one can escape it tonight.

Unexpected, unbidden, Joe breaks the silence. “You ever think about what’s up there?”

David tenses. Too close to home. “I mean... sure. Sometimes. I guess... lots of gasses, and dust particles, water vapor... and that’s just in our atmosphere.”

Joe casts him a glance that’s half-annoyed, in the way that isn’t really annoyed at all. David hates how  accustomed he’s grown to all those outspoken looks. “You know what I mean,” Joe says — and David says nothing, because he does.

“I used to... think there had to be something up there. Not really people, y’know? My Mom, she tried to raise us the right way — when our pet hamster died, she told us about immortal souls, olam haba, everything that’s supposed to come after. Except I never really...” He gestures for a minute, snapping his fingers like the words elude him. “Got it. My Mom will give you her opinion on anything, but even she can’t say for sure what happens when you die. It was all too hazy for me as a kid. I didn’t know what to look for, or... what it meant.”

David tries to understand. He comes up short, in ways he can’t identify but is painfully aware of. Even so, he tries.

“My mother’s family was Protestant. She used to say there were angels watching over us all the time.” His nose crinkles. “Just to get me to eat my Brussels sprouts, I think. The angels saw me feed them to the dog.”

Joe laughs, sound sharp as a knife in the gentle night. David can’t say why he’s pleased.

“Exactly, though. You Christians pretend to have it all figured out. God’s up there, he’s watching everything, and when your time’s up you’ll either go upstairs or downstairs.” His lips purse, the way they do when he’s trying and failing not to grin. “Jews are still arguing about how many heavens there are.”

“What do you think?” He asks the question before he means to, without really thinking. As soon as it’s out, David regrets it... but Joe doesn’t even spare him a glance.

“Aliens. Real ‘War of The Worlds’ type shit.” Finally, he allows himself to grin, and it only widens as he keeps talking. “Like to think Flash Gordon’s saving the universe up there somewhere. Maybe Superman too, but he’s kind of a chump. Probably some planets we ain’t found yet, suns and moons we ain’t seen.” He’s hesitates. “But I think I like that other idea now... that maybe there are people up there. Maybe there is something... something real after.”

He falls quiet. His hands are braced in front of him, taut as straining metal. David studies them, and doesn’t dare look at Joe.

“How many stars d’you think there are, Web?” Joe asks after a moment.

David has no damned clue. “A lot,” he answers confidently. “Millions.”

“Millions,” echoes Joe. The glittering stars are reflected in his eyes, like black pits sending each beam of light back outward. It’s almost hypnotizing, the way they flicker. If he stares too long, David knows he will get lost in them, so he forcibly tears himself away. Wherever Joe’s mind is going, he can’t — possibly shouldn’t — follow.

Guessing isn’t safe. Wondering isn’t safe. Seeking insight into Joe Liebgott’s mind, when it’s so… enigmatic to Webster’s own has never been, and will never be, safe.

The acrid smell of tobacco startles him. When he looks back over, Joe has lit up a cigarette, and is blowing a long cloud of smoke against the black sky.

“No, really, I’m fine. Thanks for offering,” David drawls, inching closer. Joe’s eyes flicker towards him; his mouth curls up around the cigarette. 

“Only got this one left, Web. If I had one to offer, you know I would.” He clicks his tongue. “I’m generous like that.”

“A modern day Santa Claus, huh?”

“Ho ho,” Joe replies.

David reaches for the cigarette. He doesn’t know why — it’s not like he really wants a smoke — but the idea of doing nothing, of letting silence linger between them as they both stew in their own thoughts, is worse. Also, if Joe gets a bit of relief via Lucky Strike, he’s got no right to hoard it. Determined, David leans forward, even as Joe angles away from him.

“Yeah, no, nice try.”

“Share! You — quit moving, we’re going to fall off the roof.”

“You’ll fall, and I won’t catch you.”

“I’ll drag you down with me!”

He catches the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger, and deftly plucks it from Joe’s grasp. Victorious, David brandishes it high, letting a thin stream of smoke blaze into the night. Over the chorus of Joe’s curses, he takes a drag. It goes too deep into his lungs, too quickly; he ends up sputtering, lurching forward in a chest-rattling burst of coughs. His grip on the cigarette goes loose, and it falls from his hand.

“Shit, Web!”

David is too preoccupied with his lungs turning themselves inside-out to pay attention to Joe… until a hand finds his back, rubbing steady curves between his shoulder blades. He sputters, but Joe is there, coaching him through it, until he’s finally able to take a breath without gagging.

“Oh boy,” he mutters. “Oh god.” Then, realizing Joe’s last cigarette has fumbled straight off the roof, to the cobblestones down below, he hisses. “Shit. Sorry.”

“Nah. Don’t bother.” Joe is still rubbing his back, even though there’s no need to — really, he’s fine. “I can get more when I need ‘em.”

“No, I’ll — I’ll give you some of mine when we get back inside.” He breaks off with another harsh cough. By the time he’s done, David is spent; only a moment too late does he realize he’s slumped back against Joe’s chest.

The other man doesn’t pull away. Joe supports him, easing David upright and bracing his weight. He handles him like a delicate thing… and from Joe Liebgott, who David has never known to be delicate in his life, the treatment is jarring. David looks up at him, gaze pulled as though caught in a magnetic current; he finds Joe staring back. His eyes are dark as ever, still lit with starlight. His lips are wet.

“You okay?” Joe asks.

“Yeah. Fine,” David replies.

“I ain’t mad, Web,” he says, “but I would’ve liked a little more of that smoke before you tried to eat it.”

“I got enough of it to share.”

David’s not sure what the hell he's saying. It doesn’t matter. Joe’s lips twitch.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His head tilts. David’s eyes close. A second later, Joe’s mouth is on his, warm and tender, and he couldn’t exhale even if he remembered how.

Maybe David’s the first one to cup Joe’s face; maybe Joe’s hand is the first to find his hair; maybe they're twined together for hours, or only a few precious seconds. When they break apart, none of it matters. Joe’s eyes are wide, pitch black. Surely his incredulity must be reflected back in David’s own face, because right now, his heart wants to pound out of his chest.

Joe’s hand is still on his face. He only realizes this when a rough-padded thumb caresses his cheekbone, unspeakably tender. “You okay, Web?” Joe asks again.

“Yeah,” he replies, voice shuddering. “Incredible.”

He’s not sure who moves forward then — it’s probably both of them at once, seizing that impossible instinct driven only by heat and instinct. Everywhere Joe’s skin brushes against his, his nerves explode into an electric shower; his mouth is hot and needy, consuming David’s as soon as they find each other again. Joe draws him in like he’s the only thing left that matters, and David is helpless in his desire to give himself up.

Please, he thinks desperately, kiss me like I matter. Kiss me like we’re both alive, and going to stay that way. Kiss me like the stars aren’t watching, and we’ll live forever.

Joe’s lips are a fantasy, and they thoroughly carry him away. For a moment, he lets himself go. Nothing matters but the pressure of Joe’s lips, sucking dark bruises along his jaw, or the determined hands that grasp at his shoulders. In the heat battle, you learn to zero your focus in on one thing, and that concentration keeps you alive. This is a different heat, a different ear waging between them, but David gives every ounce of attention to Joe all the same. He drives him forward, keeps them moving even when their hearts are beating out an urgent symphony in twin ribcages, and David’s is ready to burst.

“Joe —“ He gasps, over the sound of the other man’s harsh breathing. Joe shushes him, fingers brushing his swollen lips. David leans into the touch. Joe leans back to accommodate him. They both lean too far.

“Shit!”

For a second, it’s blind terror — the ground sliding away beneath them, fumbling for a hand of foothold as the ledge looms closer… 

David catches them both, his heels catching on a gutter and halting his descent. Joe’s still holding onto him, so the momentum carries over. They’re dangerously far down the inclined roof; a certain broken back looks twenty feet below, the ledge within spitting distance. They don’t go over, though, and that makes the difference.

After a moment, Joe exhales a great, shuddering breath. One hand runs through his hair. “Fuck. Jesus fuck. Just lost two decades off my life.”

“Better than losing it all,” David mutters. He’s determined not to look over the ledge. Unconsciously, his grip tightens around Joe; he doesn’t realize Joe’s holding him just as fast until a small tug pulls him back from the roof.

“Come on,” Joe mutters. “Let’s get the hell outta here before we both end up weird stains on the ground.”

He doesn’t need to tell him twice. David casts one last look up at the night sky — serene, twinkling like it knows a secret but doesn’t dare say — before huffing, and clambering up in Joe’s wake.

Existential questions can wait until morning. Joe, on the other hand, has never been good at waiting.