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pulisicsgirl · 3 months

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in my hour of need - mason mount

summary: eight months after the end of their relationship, Y/N and Mason find themselves at the same event—a charity gala—and the night’s events leave them both unsure of where they stand with each other

pairing: Mason Mount x reader

word count: 8.4k

warnings/tags: inappropriate joke is made about the reader, angst, self-doubt, exes-to-lovers, hurt/comfort (hee hee hee), ends with fluff of course don’t worry, lots of crying involved along the way

requested: no

based off of this concept from @mountttmase and @saltyheartnightmare

A/N: I’m so excited to finally have a fic ready to post for y’all again!!! I’ve literally been working on this one for the last three months, so it’s definitely a relief to put it out there! This is set during the TFSL gala that Mason attended back at the beginning of March, so some things might be a bit”outdated” by now… I hope yall enjoy!!!

Seeing Mason tonight had been more difficult than you had anticipated.

Eight months had passed since the fairly amicable breakup between the two of you. Things had ended on fairly good terms, but it had been the little things that built up that had led to the end of your relationship. Between Mason’s injury along with the situation at United and new, huge career opportunities that had arisen for you in the last year, the two of you seemed to be in completely different places in your lives. It seemed like you barely saw each other for a few minutes after you woke up in the morning and a few minutes before you fell asleep at night.

In the end, the disconnect was too much, and the two of you agreed to end things before they could get ugly.

You were thankful to have avoided the period of fighting and bickering that you knew would inevitably come with the track that you and Mason were on. Your relationship with him had many fond memories attached to it, and you didn’t want to see those tainted by a messy breakup. But every day that passed, you missed waking up in his bed, being by his side, spending time with him— all of it.

The two of you had tried your best to remain friends, truly. You had texted back and forth a bit, doing your best to keep up with each other’s lives and keep each other updated. You met for coffee about three weeks after the split, but after that your communication had quickly fallen off. You wondered if, like you, Mason had realized that trying to maintain a friendship had grown too painful. If, like you, it was killing him to have you sitting across from him and not be able to hold you, to kiss you, to call you his.

But there was no way for you to know— the two of you hadn’t spoken since.

It hadn’t come as a surprise that he was making an appearance at the charity gala. After all, it was him that had connected you with Together For Short Lives, the organization that Mason had a long-standing relationship with and also the organization benefitting from tonight’s events. Mason’s passion for the charity and its work had sparked something within you, and you had quickly pulled some strings to get your workplace involved with it as well— all of this while you were still together.

So when your boss told you about his contribution to the charity gala and has asked you to be the representative for the business at the auction itself, you knew that seeing Mason would be inevitable.

But it’s been eight months since the split—seven since you last saw him. Surely, you’d be fine by now, you had thought.

Unfortunately, you had thought wrong.

The first glimpse of him in the sleek black suit had sent a sharp pang through your chest, a wave of emotions crashing over you. His hair and beard were neatly trimmed and the softness of it immediately made you think of how it felt when you would run your fingers through it, or the scratch of his beard when you would cradle his jaw in your palm. His shoulders seemed to have grown broader, if that was even possible. His eyes looked brighter, and he seemed far more well-rested than you had seen him in the months leading up to your breakup.

And then the terrifying thought had hit you.

Maybe he was better off without you.

Maybe the breakup had been good for him. Maybe you had been the thing draining him in the last months of your relationship.

You felt the tears spring to your eyes as soon as the thought crossed your mind, blinking them away quickly.

But the thought continued to plague you as the night went on. There were a thousand things that were making you feel unsure of yourself and the thought that your relationship with Mason had actually been detrimental to him was just the cherry on top.

This just wasn’t the kind of event you usually found yourself at, even less a setting that you felt comfortable in. You would much prefer a quite night in or the opportunity to fade into the background. When you had been with Mason, you found yourself at a few events like this one, but you always had him at your side. Often you would allow him to navigate the evening for you, so you didn’t even have to think about anything. Tonight, instead of standing next to you so you cold hold tightly onto his arm when you felt unsteady, he was 100 feet away, engaged in conversation with someone else.

To make matters worse, you had asked a friend of yours to help you find and choose a dress for the evening, and she had insisted you would look and feel great in this elegant, low-cut, dark green dress that had an open back. At the time, she had convinced you that the piece complimented your figure and would make you feel confident and sexy. However, it was completely out of your comfort zone, and you regretted your decision to listen to her as you tugged on parts of the dress to try to cover yourself up more throughout the night.

Between the unfamiliar environment, the dress, and Mason’s presence, everything left you feeling quite unsure of yourself.

When you reached your seating assignment, you were relieved to see that you were familiar with a few of the individuals that were sitting at your table—acquaintances that worked for the same company as you who, no doubt, were also sent as representatives for the charity gala. The relief was short-lived, however, when you realized that, directly in front of you, a mere two tables over, Mason’s seat was directly in your line of sight.

You did your best to sink into the shadows, allowing conversation to flow around you without making any contribution, unless someone directly asked you a question. You also tried your hardest not to look over at Mason— this sight of him happily engaging in conversation, seemingly unaffected by your presence, was too much for your heart to handle.

A wave of relief washed over you when someone got up on the stage, removing any pressure to engage in conversation at the table as everyone turned their attention to the announcer. He spoke a bit about Together for Short Lives and the work that they did, soon announcing that it was time for the items to be auctioned off.

Some of the auction items piqued your interest, seeming like items or experiences that you thought you might enjoy. But any sort of intrigue faded when you heard the amounts of money that some of the gala’s patrons were volunteering for them, quickly realizing you were way out of your depth in this room of people.

Before too long, the announcer introduced a “Manchester United Experience,” involving a tour of the team’s facility, accompanied by the team’s star boy himself. Mason approached the stage, walking up the short flight of stairs as applause rang throughout the room. You didn’t hear much of the discussion of the experience as you got caught up in watching Mason and the playful way he interacted with the announcer and the crowd. His silly boyishness sent a pang through your heart, missing the playful way he used to interact with you.

You could’ve sworn his eyes caught yours as they swept the room, and you flashed him a short, forced smile as a sort of sign of goodwill. You weren’t exactly sure where the two of you stood, but you wanted to show him that you didn’t harbor any negative feelings toward him, despite the loss of contact.

The faintest of smiles tugged at the corner of his lips before he turned his attention back to the announcer who had just asked him a question— one that Mason had to ask him to repeat.

Soon Mason was leaving the stage, having earned an ungodly amount of money for TFSL with his promised tour of Old Trafford.

A sick feeling settled in your gut, knowing it couldn’t be much longer before your company’s contribution was auctioned off. The mere thought of stepping onto that stage sent a rush of fear through your veins.

Before you knew it, you found yourself standing to the side of the stage, awaiting your queue to join the announcer on it. Your palms felt sweaty, your heart racing as you tried your best to compose yourself. Applause rang through the room, and you put all of your focus into not tripping as you walked up the stairs.

The room felt ten times bigger from atop the stage, filled with many more people than you had realized were in attendance. You tried to focus on smiling and nodding at the appropriate moments as the announcer explained what your company was auctioning off.

“And of course, we’re very appreciative of Miss… uhm…”

“Y/L/N,” you spoke quietly as the announcer trailed off.

“Yes, we’re very appreciative of Miss Y/L/N being here with us tonight,” the announcer resumed his charismatic personality after it had faltered briefly. “She’s certainly doing her part to raise money for a good cause. I mean, with this much skin on show, that has to be worth a few extra pounds on your bid, right?”

Your stomach sank to your feet as laughter erupted in the large room. You felt the heat in your cheeks, your smile faltering at his words. You suddenly felt ten times more self-conscious of yourself as you stood on the stage, feeling like a zoo animal being laid bare and displayed for everyone’s entertainment.

“With that, we’re going to start the bidding off at…” The announcers voice faded as the room felt like it was closing in on you. Your eyes flicked through the crowd, jumping from face to face until you found the one you were looking for— Mason.

While everyone else seemed to still be composing themselves from the eruption of laughter at the joke the announcer had made at your expense, Mason’s eyes met yours with the saddest expression you though you had ever seen. You could just barely make out his lips mouthing the words it’s okay, you’re okay, before your misty eyes could no longer make out his face.

You composed yourself just long enough for the announcer to finish off the auction, and you offered him a forced smile before you rushed off of the stage.

All you knew was that you needed to be anywhere but this room. You needed to get out, away from all of the people who had just witnessed your very public humiliation.

You made a beeline toward the back of the large hall that everyone was seated in, spotting the double doors that you knew led out to the hallway. Your heels click on the floor as you push through the doors and find the exit out to the decorative garden off of the side of the building being used for the gala. Thinking a bit of fresh air would do you good, you rushed outside, ignoring the chill that rushed through you as the cold air met your skin. Moving quickly away from the building, you ducked behind some hedges in the hope that no one would see you.

Your breathing was heavy as you tried your best to dampen the emotions welling up inside of you. Your throat felt tight as you fought back the tears of embarrassment, frustration, and regret. Forcing yourself to breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth, you did your best to wipe gently at the corners of your eyes, praying that you wouldn’t ruin the makeup you had done only a few hours before.

“Y/N?” you heard a voice call from around the corner. Your heart sank as you recognized the gentle tone and the footsteps let you know that he was close. This was surely not the circumstances you had hoped to be in when you spoke to him for the first time in months.

You turned your back just in time for Mason to round the corner and find you hiding away in your little nook. There was nothing you hated more than the idea of letting him see you cry in this moment.

“Y/N, love-“

“I’m fine, Mason.” Your voice came out harsher than you had meant for it to. “Really, I’m okay. Just go back to the auction.”

Undeterred by the way you had spoken, Mason took a couple of steps closer to you. “No, you’re not, Y/N. I know you better than that.”

You couldn’t respond, and you knew he hadn’t missed the small sniffle you had let out as you bit your lip to keep it from trembling.

It was only a moment before you felt his fingers gently take hold of your arm, turning you to face him. Your head was bowed low, still unwilling to let him see your misty eyes.

“C’mere, love,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around your torso as he pulled you in for a tight hug. You couldn’t keep yourself from returning the gesture, your arms wrapped under his as you pressed your palms into his broad back to hold him close. You tucked your face into his neck and suddenly, your heart felt more settled than it had in months.

“He had no right to say anything like that— about you or about anyone,” Mason mumbled into your hair, pressing a barely-there kiss to your temple. “It was completely inappropriate, and you have every right to feel upset. I’m so sorry.”

He brought a hand up to cradle the back of your head, holding you closer to him. You didn’t fight it at all, settling into him more and taking comfort in the proximity.

When he could tell that your breathing had steadied, Mason pulled back, still holding you with one arm as he looked down at you with a soft smile.

“There she is.” He brought his free hand up, brushing his thumb gently under your eyes to wipe away a tear that had fallen. The gesture was so gentle and intimate that you felt like your knees were about to give out, thankful that he still had one arm around you to steady you. “Whatever waterproof makeup you’re using is working because you still look perfect,” he joked, warmth flooding through him at the soft giggle you let out before dropping your forehead onto his chest.

“For the record, your dress is beautiful,” Mason said softly. You knew he must have sensed your discomfort with how much skin you had on show, even before the gala announcer had made any comment about it. “And, in the least creepy, predatory way possible, you look amazing tonight.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, wanting to convey your gratitude to him while trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach at his words. The one thing you did like about the mostly open back of the dress is that you could feel Mason’s palm flattened directly against your skin as he held you close, his thumb rubbing back and forth in soothing motions. This, combined with the look in his eye that you couldn’t quite place as he looked down at you, made your skin feel like it was on fire, the heat rising up your neck and into your cheeks.

You brought your hands to his chest, holding the lapels of his jacket in your hand before you spoke quietly. “We should go back inside before anyone realizes we’ve gone.” You felt suddenly overwhelmed by the interaction with him, feeling yourself falling back into old habits without even intending to.

Mason unwound his hands from your waist, seeming a bit discouraged by your comment as he merely nodded, holding his arm out for you to take. You did so, holding onto his elbow to keep yourself steady as he led you back inside.

It was quiet between the two of you, neither sure what to say to the other after the intimate moment in the garden. Once back inside you squeezed his elbow gently, saying, “I’m gonna go freshen up really quickly, but I’ll see you back out there,” with a gentle smile. Mason nodded, letting you step away from him and into the bathroom.

In truth, while you did feel a need to freshen up a bit after the tears you had shed outside, you needed a moment to collect yourself— not because of the auction announcer’s comments, but because of Mason.

You stood at the small sink in the ladies’ room, watching yourself in the mirror as you tried to stop the way your head seemed to be spinning. The last time you had seen Mason was seven months ago, engaged in stiff conversation because neither of you knew how to speak to each other after the breakup. But now, he had come to your rescue without a second thought and held you as if the breakup had never even happened.

And it felt right…

You shook your head, telling yourself not to read too much into it— Mason is a caring person and just because he ran to your side when someone had said something hurtful about you doesn’t mean he wants you back. You were self-aware enough to recognize that you had a tendency to let your thoughts run away with you, and you did your best to shut it down before it got out of hand.

At the same time, Mason’s mind was also running wild. His brain felt as if it was under some sort of fog, intoxicated by the feeling of being able to touch your skin again. He was like an addict who had quit, cold turkey, some months ago, and the first taste of your proximity had nearly done him in. He couldn’t stop thinking of how it felt to be so close to you again— to feel your weight against his body, to smell your shampoo that was still the same, to hear your soft voice, muffled by his own neck, your gentle breaths fanning over his skin.

He was worried that maybe he had been too forward— maybe you hadn’t wanted him to run after you. He didn’t want you to think he felt like he needed to rescue you from every poor situation, but after hearing the announcer’s comments and seeing the way it had so clearly upset you (even though everyone else seemed to have overlooked it), he knew he couldn’t just let you be on your own.

He been wary of overwhelming you, but it felt right to pull you into his arms out in the garden. It felt right to hold you close to him and rub gentle, soothing circles into your back with his thumb, the way he’d always done before.

Mason felt unsure of himself. He worried that your hurry to get back inside was to get away from him. He pondered with the idea of going back into the gala so it didn’t seem like he was hovering. But he battled with himself internally, thinking that you may not have wanted to be left to your own devices.

He hated that the months he had spent apart from you had robbed him of his ability to read you. He just wished he could figure out what was going on in your head.

In the bathroom, if you hadn’t had a full face of makeup on, you would’ve taken this opportunity to splash your face with cold water. However, a few deep breaths while you told yourself to get it together would have to do, and you exited the bathroom, planning to find your way back to your table and leave as soon as the event was over. It would be best, you thought, to not engage too much with Mason to avoid getting your hopes up before they were inevitably crushed.

Those plans were cut short the moment you stepped out of the bathroom and into the building’s foyer. There, Mason was waiting for you, and your stomach did a flip at the soft smile that took over his face when he lifted his head and saw you.

A wave of relief that you hadn’t expected washed over you at the sight of him waiting there.

“It sounds like they’ve wrapped up the auction in there.” Mason jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, gesturing toward the large hall that you had fled from just a bit ago. You could hear the sound of loud conversation and laughter, signaling that Mason was, indeed correct, and the guests would be starting to exit the hall soon.

Unsure of what you were meant to say, you were thankful when Mason spoke up again. “Look, I’m here, and you’re welcome to stick with me if you’re still feeling a bit overwhelmed, but if you want me to just leave you be, I understa-”

“No, please,” you rushed to cut him off, the thought of having the face the room full of people before you alone sending a feeling of dread down your spine. “I mean… I just… can I just walk with you?” Your voice was small when you spoke again, feeling pathetic for being incapable of facing an event without him by your side.

A warm feeling spread across Mason’s chest at your words, feeling a sense of pride that his presence made you feel even a little bit safer in the unfamiliar environment. Wordlessly, he offered his arm to you again, a reassuring smile on his lips.

As much as you wanted to portray yourself as an independent person who was able to take care of yourself, you had to admit that the rest of the evening felt much easier with Mason at your side. It was so easy to slip back into the same old routine—everyone wanted to talk to the star footballer, and you were happy to stand quietly at his side while he shook hands and unleashed his irresistible charm on each one.

Mason kept you close to him at all times, and the warmth of him settled your nerves tremendously. The gentle placement of his hand on your lower back sent tingles up your spine every time, and it took everything in you not to wrap your arms around his waist, afraid of overstepping.

It wasn’t much longer before Mason was leaning down, mumbling in your ear to ask if you were ready to leave. He knew this wasn’t your scene at all and had been looking for an opportunity to get you out of there since the two of you had stepped back into the gathering hall.

You had to hold back a shiver as his breath fanned over your neck, nodding in response. You let him know you just had to pop over to your table to grab your things and he nodded, following as you led the way.

Once you had retrieved your clutch and bid as quick of a goodbye as you could muster to those that were still lingering at your table, you and Mason turned to leave, heading back toward the set of doors you had entered through. The hall had grown more crowded, and as you weaved between tables, you allowed Mason to grasp your hand, leading the way through the sea of people so you wouldn’t be separated.

As you entered the foyer, Mason tugged you forward gently so that you returned to his side. The two of you exchanged a short smile.

“Is your hotel close by?” you asked, trying to make a bit of small talk as the two of you walked toward the exit.

When the bridge of Mason’s nose went red, a shy but unsure smile on his face, you slapped a hand over your face, realizing the double meaning of your question.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” you felt the heat in your face as you, no doubt, were turning bright red. “I was just trying to make small talk. Clearly, I’m not good at it.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” Mason couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Uh, I’m actually making the drive back to Manchester tonight. We’ve got training tomorrow morning, so I’ve got to get home.” Mason reached the door, holding it open for you. “What about you? Are you nearby?”

“Yeah, actually.” The two of you reached the sidewalk in front of the building, coming to a stop as you turned toward each other. “I’m supposed to be a hotel just a bit that way.” You pointed behind him, toward the accommodations that your job was paying for.

There was a beat of silence between the two of you.

“You know… you’re welcome to tag along back to Manchester with me, if you wanted to. I could use the company to keep me awake.” Mason smiled softly at you, remembering how much you hated staying in hotels.

“Don’t you have Lewis or someone with you? I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Mason shook his head in response, mumbling a quiet, “just me.” He was subtly rocking back and forth on his feet, and you could tell he was nervous about your answer.

Getting to go home, rather than sleeping in an uncomfortable hotel bed did sound pretty nice after the turn your night had taken.

Mason watched your eyebrows furrow in thought, an anxious feeing settling in his tummy as he awaited your response.

“You’re sure?”

Mason did his best to conceal the excitement he felt at the idea of getting to spend a couple more hours with you. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he whispered. “Come on, you and I both know you won’t get any sleep in that hotel bed.”

You couldn’t deny that he was right.

It wasn’t long before you were ducking into the passenger seat of Mason’s car, making sure the bottom of your dress was all the way in before Mason closed the door behind you.

The drive started out quiet, neither of you sure how to navigate the situation that you found yourself in. But as soon as you asked Mason about the FA Cup quarterfinal win over Liverpool where he had made his return following injury, his face lit up and things felt like they were almost back to normal.

You did your best to keep the topic of conversation on Mason and his life, not wanting to speak about yourself. Any time he seemed to be coming to the end of one topic, you were sure to ask another question before he had the chance to ask one to you.

Because, truth be told, life had been nothing but dull since the two of you had parted ways. Seeing him tonight was the most interesting thing to happen to you since… well, since the last time you’d seen him.

It was no secret that the transition to Manchester had been difficult for the both of you. There was no doubt it had contributed to the ending of your relationship. Leaving behind your friends, your old flat, and all of the things you had known had been no easy task. Thankfully, you had been able to stay in the same line of work, merely transferring to a new location. But you had struggled to adjust to the new, unfamiliar city, even more so when you didn’t have Mason at your side. Weekend visits back to London to visit your old friends were all that had kept you going in the last months.

As you listened to Mason telling stories of all of the fun things he had gotten up to with the boys on the team that he had grown closer with, the self-doubt creeped back in. He seemed to be doing so much better since the two of you called things off, and again your mind told you that maybe he was better off without you.

Mason noticed the change in your demeanor almost immediately. The car grew quiet, and you sat with your head leaned against the window, watching the lights as they passed. It may have been months since he last saw you, but he could recognize the signs of you overthinking from a mile away, unsure of whether it was about the announcer’s comments from earlier in the night or the fact that you were sitting in a car with him.

Wanting to provide a bit of reassurance, Mason reached over, taking your hand in his, bringing it up to his face, and pressing a quick kiss to the back of it. He placed your hand back in your lap, moving to put his back on the steering wheel, but your grip tightened slightly to prevent him from doing so. Your head remained pressed against the glass, but the small gesture brought a smile to Mason’s face as he shifted to intertwine his fingers with yours.

Mason didn’t press you for conversation, allowing you the space to process the events of the night however you needed to. Before long, Mason heard the soft sound of your deep, steady breathing, and a quick glance in your direction revealed that you had drifted off to sleep, your hand relaxed in his. The dull ache that had settled in his chest all night grew a bit sharper as he stole a few glances in your direction, admiring the peaceful expression on your face.

As much as he tried to hide it, as much as he tried to put on a brave face and talk about all of the amazing things that had been going on in his like recently, he couldn’t deny…

He missed you.

He missed having you like this, at his side at the end of a long day. He missed the feeling of ease that washed over him just by knowing you were close by and being able to have that same effect on you. He missed catching up with you at the end of the day, instead of trying to accurately recap the seven months that had passed since he’d last seen you.

He just missed you being in his life and had spent the last eight months trying to find out how to get you back in it.

You were jostled awake as you heard the sound of a car door closing. You sat up straight, blinking your eyes a few times as you tried your best to figure out where you were. You recognized the interior of Mason’s car, a flash of confusion running through you before the memories of the night came flooding back in.

The car door at your side opened, Mason appearing at your side as he crouched down, offering you the gentlest of smiles.

“Hey there, love,” he spoke softly, and the kind look in his eyes made your heart flutter. “You fell asleep on the way back, and I realized I don’t know where your new flat is.”

The little flutter of your heart quickly died, the reality of your failed relationship crashing back in after you had been able to put it to the back of your mind for much of the night since Mason had come to your aid.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry,” you shook your head, reaching for your bag to pull out your phone. “I’ll just order a car, I’m so sor-”

“Don’t be silly, just stay here. I’ve got some extra things you can use, and I’m going into training late tomorrow anyway, so I can drop you at home on my way,” Mason smiled at you, and the way his eyes shone hopefully meant you wouldn’t need much convincing, whispering a soft “okay” in reply.

Mason took your hand, helping you out of the car and leading you inside as you wiped your bleary eyes. He led you to his room, releasing your hand as he wandered through the room, laying out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants for you to wear. He wandered to the bathroom for a few moments. When he emerged, you watched with confusion as he collected a few things in his hands and walked toward his door.

“You can sleep in here tonight. I still had some of your skincare products left over from before, so they’re out on the counter,” he smiled at you. “I’ll just be in the guest room, if you need anything.”

His generosity caught you off-guard, and before you could come up with a response, he placed a quick kiss to the top of your head and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

You stood in the middle of the room for a moment, just looking around, taking it all in. You never would have suspected that you’d find yourself here again, and you couldn’t wrap your head around the turn that this night had taken.

Finally snapping yourself out of it, you slipped out of your dress, pulling Mason’s shirt over your head. The scent of his cologne mixed with the laundry detergent he always used brought a wave of emotion crashing over you, and your lower lip wobbled as you walked into the bathroom.

Along with a spare toothbrush that he had set out for you, all of your skincare products were lined up on the counter, and the thought that he had held onto them for you after all this time was what finally caused the tears the spill down your cheeks, the emotions of the night finally catching up with you.

When you crawled into the bed, face washed and feeling fresher after the long night, you allow the tears to flow, pressing your face into Mason’s pillow.

All of it was so overwhelming. Seeing him again after so long. How unsure you had felt of yourself throughout the night. Being humiliated in front of an entire audience. The way Mason had run to your side without a moment’s hesitation. The way it had felt so natural to fall back into conversation with him, to touch him, for him to touch you. Being back in the house that you had once shared with him.

It was all too much.

Not even 30 feet away, Mason was lying on his back in the guest bed, eyes wide open as he stared at the ceiling. There was no way he was falling asleep any time soon, the thought of you in his bed only a few steps away enough to keep him awake.

After an hour had passed, accompanied by only his racing thoughts, Mason toyed with the idea of sneaking down to his room to see if you were awake. There were a thousand things he wanted to say to you, and he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t get to say them soon.

But he thought better of it, guessing that you were probably already asleep, and he didn’t want to disturb you.

However, Mason had guessed wrong. Instead, you were lying on your side, legs tucked up close to your body, staring at the small, framed photo of the two of you on Mason’s side table. It had always been there during your relationship, and the thought that he had kept it in the time since you had split brought such a weight of sadness over you that you felt sick.

Did he miss you the way you missed him? Did he, too, regret not fighting harder for your relationship with every day that passed?

The thought kept you awake until the early hours of the morning.

When Mason awoke the next morning, a heavy exhaustion weighed on him as he had only slept a few hours, tossing and turning the entire time. He crawled out of bed and slipped a shirt over his head, his feet padding softly on the carpeted floor as he moved down the hallway to check on you. He noticed that the door to his room was already open, and when he peeked his head in, you were nowhere to be found.

From the way the blankets were shifted, Mason could tell that you had slept on his side of the bed, and his chest tightened at the thought.

The sound of clinking pots and pans coming from the kitchen caused Mason’s ears to perk up and led him in that direction.

As Mason rounded the corner, he found you, with your back facing him, standing in front of the oven. Your hair, falling across your shoulders, still held some of the curl that you had done for the event the night prior. Mason’s heart clenched at the sight of you in his shirt and a pair of his sweatpants.

A few pans and bowls were scattered across the stovetop and counters, and Mason recognized all of the components of the hearty breakfast you used to make when both of you had the day off. The combination of smells was so specific, and the déjà vu nearly made him dizzy.

You turned around, reaching for a bowl on the counter and jumped slightly when you saw Mason there.

“Sorry,” he breathed, still at a bit of a loss for words. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that.”

You just gave him a small smile and a short “s’okay” as you turned back to the stove. “Sorry if I woke you.” Your voice sounded so small—Mason hated it. He hated the tension that hung in the air between the two of you. He hated the fact that you had nearly become strangers to each other.

In the hours that you had spent, lying awake with your thoughts running wild in Mason’s bed, you had resolved to avoid complicating things further than they already had been. Things were awkward enough between the two of you after Mason had graciously come to the rescue, despite the ending of your relationship, and you were determined to make it home without making it worse.

You owed it to yourself— your feelings for Mason were still there, hidden just beneath the surface. But you refused to put yourself out there and put your heart through that pain again.

You wished you had it in you to be cold with him, completely cutting off any chance of rekindling something between the two of you— any risk of getting your hopes up. But you knew Mason, and you knew that he often wore his heart on his sleeve, and you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt him like that, either.

But despite your resolve and determination, the sorrow-filled gaze in Mason’s eyes had already begun to pierce through the armor that you had put around your heart.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Mason slipped into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the island countertop. His eyes followed you as you finished preparing the last of the breakfast. You dished out two plates— a portion for yourself and another, larger portion for Mason.

“You didn’t have to do all this, you know?” Mason spoke softly as you set the plate in front of him.

You shrugged, standing on the opposite side of the island from him as you stared down at your own plate. “It’s the least I could do. It’s your food anyway,” you mumbled, poking at your eggs with a fork, suddenly feeling too sick to eat anything.

“Well, thank you, Y/N,” Mason said, earnestly. “I really appreciate it.”

Mason couldn’t help but feel discouraged by your stony demeanor. He had hoped that after the night prior, the two of you might be on the right path to sorting things out between you, but now he wasn’t so sure.

He kept stealing quick glances at you as he ate, savoring every delicious bite. But he could tell how uneasy you felt as you stood there, tucking your hair behind your ear as you took small bites from your plate.

The tension was thick as the two of you ate in silence, neither one sure how to even begin the conversation. Did you talk about last night, or leave the topic untouched?

The longer the silence stretched between the two of you, the heavier the weight on your heart grew. As much as you had tried not to get your hopes up, and as many times as you told yourself that your relationship with Mason was well and truly over, a small part of you had still hoped that he would say something this morning— anything, really. That small part of you wanted to believe that this chance encounter was the key—a sign that the two of you needed to find your way back to each other.

But despite it all, the spark that you had hoped was still there seemed to have been snuffed out.

You kept your eyes glued to your plate, afraid that Mason would see them shining with tears and start asking questions. You didn’t want him to think you were pathetic— needing him to rescue you the night before and now here, standing in his kitchen, crying because he didn’t want you back.

You took a breath and steeled yourself to pack up your things from his room and get the fastest Uber back home you could manage.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat, you scraped the last of your food into the trashcan, no longer able to stomach another bite, and placed the empty dish in the sink. You left the kitchen as quickly as you could, trying to hide your face from Mason as the first tears fell.

Mason was taken by surprise at your sudden rush to leave the room, the noise a stark contrast to the silence that had hung thick in the air. He watched your back as you walked out without so much as a glance in his direction.

His stomach sank. He had hoped, after lying awake all night thinking of you, that you had been cooking breakfast for him as a sort of sign—a signal that you wanted to talk things over again and revisit the topic of him and you. But the unpleasant aura that had remained between the two of you while you ate had gotten you no closer to that conversation.

Maybe he had read too far into things. Maybe the breakfast had just been a ‘thank you’ for driving you back to Manchester last night. Maybe he had pushed too far and inviting you to stay at his was too much, too soon.

Mason pushed his plate away from him, dropping his head into his hands and huffing a sigh as he felt his eyes burn with tears that surprised him. He hadn’t realized just how much the last 24 hours had gotten his hopes up for reigniting a relationship with you until you seemed to have walked away from it altogether.

It was almost like he could feel his heart breaking all over again.

But no, Mason resolved. He refused to let you walk away from him again, not until he had fully expressed to you how deeply he missed you, how much he still cared for you.

With renewed determination, Mason stood from his chair and nearly ran to his bedroom.

Standing outside of his own bedroom door, Mason hesitated for a moment, again overthinking his decision to confront the issue head-on.

But that didn’t last for more than a second before he was tapping his knuckles gently on the door three times.

“You can come in,” he heard your small voice.

When he opened the door, slowly, he found you just returning from the bathroom, several of your own items in hand. As you attempted to collect all of your things, Mason didn’t miss the tear you tried to inconspicuously wipe from your cheek or the soft sniffle you tried to hide with a cough. His heart softened— seeing you cry had always been one of the things he hated most.

“I have an Uber on the way. Should be here any minute. I don’t want to ask you to drive me again,” you spoke hurriedly, as if overcompensating for your fragile state by talking too much. “I can, um, just wash these clothes and drop them off sometime. I really-“

You were cut off when you turned to walk around to the other side of the bed and instead, ran straight into Mason’s chest.

He steadied you with a hand on each of your arms. He held an unreadable expression on his face, and you knew there was no hiding the tear streaks on your cheeks now. However, Mason’s eyes shone with as he looked down at you.

It was silent for several seconds until Mason spoke in a whisper, pleading.

“Don’t go.”

And the silence returned. Your thoughts were spinning a mile a minute. Your mouth dropped open, your brain making its most valiant attempt at forming a response, and yet no words came to you.

Mason took your loss for words as an invitation to continue. “I miss mornings like this. I miss falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up next to you. I miss talking to you at the end of the day,” his lower lip wobbled as he paused to collect himself. “I miss you, Y/N.”

His words pierced right to your heart. Whatever walls you had built to keep him out were nowhere near strong enough and you could already feel them beginning to crumble.

“Letting you walk away was the biggest mistake of my life, and I’ve spent every day since then wishing I could go back and change it all. I would’ve fought harder for you— for us.” Mason pleaded softly. “Seeing you last night made me realize that none of that has gone away, I still feel the way I did before. Please— please tell me you feel it, too.”

The tears poured freely from your eyes now, and there was no holding them back. You rolled your lips into your mouth, attempting to hold in a sob. Mason’s hands left your arms, coming up to cradle your cheeks as you closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. His thumbs swiped at your cheeks, trying to dry your tears.

“I can’t, Mason. W-We can’t,” your voice trembled.

“Why can’t we?” Mason was desperate, resting his forehead against yours. The proximity was making your head spin, the feeling of his breath fanning across your face too familiar, too overwhelming.

“Who’s to say it won’t be the same as the last time?” you cried, finally looking back at him. “I can’t go through that pain, not again.”

“We decide that it’ll be different.” Mason was ready to get on his knees and beg if he had to. “Things will be better this time— I’ll be better.”

He knew that what you had was worth fighting for, and if there was any chance—even a shred of hope—that you would give him another shot, he had to take it.

You looked up into his tear-filled eyes as he whispered, “I just know I can’t lose you, Y/N, not again.”

Like a dam breaking loose, a sob wracked your body at his words. Whatever had been left of the walls you had built up came crashing to the ground. Mason was quick to pull you into his chest, resting his cheek on the top of your head as he rubbed soothing circles into your back.

It was like all of the hurt and emotions from the last eight months tore through you at once. Mason, feeling the way your frame was shaking, held you tightly to him, as if he were the only thing holding you together in that moment. He kissed the top of your head, and you could hear him sniffle, knowing that he was crying, too.

As your cries grew softer and you began to calm down, you clutched Mason’s shirt tightly in your fists, afraid that if you released him, he would disappear.

Mason eventually leaned back to look at you and you lifted your head from where it was buried in his chest. There was the softest hint of a smile on his face as he tried to wipe away the remaining tears.

“I-If we do this…” Mason’s tummy flipped at your words, clinging to the sense of hope that they brought. “If we give this another chance, we have to take it slow.”

Mason nodded quickly, his eyes flicking all over your face for any sign of hesitation. “Anything you need, love. Anything at all.”

Your lower lip wobbled as you took him in. “I’ve missed you so much, Masey.”

Mason pressed his lips firmly to your forehead, his heart soaring at the use of his nickname. “I’m here now, and I’m not leaving— never again.”

You leaned forward, pressing your face into his neck and hugged him again, trying to drink if the feeling of being back in his arms. You let him overwhelm your senses— the feeling of his arms around your body, his comforting scent as you breathed him in, the sound of his heartbeat that calmed you so easily.

“I know we’re taking it slow, but I have a couple more hours until training,” Mason spoke softly as you pulled back, looking up at him. A hopeful smile played on his lips. “Will you stick around? Cancel your Uber. I can take you home on my way.”

“Are you sure?” There was still that shred of lingering doubt, the fear of imposing yourself.

“I’m so sure,” he smiled. “I don’t think i’m ready to let go of you just yet.”

You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips before you whispered a soft “okay.”

Never, when you left for the gala the night before, did you think this was where you would find yourself—back at Mason’s house, as he led you to the couch to cuddle while you talked about what your next steps would be. But as you lay in his arms, admiring the soft scattering of freckles across his cheeks, you felt a piece of your heart that had been missing those last few months begin to heal.

And you couldn’t be more thankful that you had your boy back.

As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated!!! 🤍

tag list:

@hischierswhore @thoseboysinblue @lovelynikol16 @swimmingismywholelife @masonsrem @brasiliangp @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @notsoattractivearenti @chilwellspulisic @sid-vii @captainpulisic

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount fic #footballer fic #footballer imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount one shot #mason mount blurb

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runnning-outof-time · 8 months

Note

Hello K! Happy 3.5K followers celebration! I couldn’t wait to join in the celebration and also see what you have prepared! Enjoy the bunch of followers!

May I ask for a glass of wine 🍷? 🥰✨🎉🍾

This is my request: Tommy + “Look at me right now.” (If it’s not taken already of course)

Thanks for this lovely message, Mar! I’m sorry it took me a bit to write your request - it got pretty angsty. And I’m sure none of y’all were watching my posting schedule, but I’m technically a day letter with this one. Sorry! I hope you like what I did with it! Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration - find more stories here!

Take the Ring

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Tommy’s a bit of an asshole…what else is new?, (Y/N)’s a bit brash in this one too

Word Count: 964

Summary: (Y/N)’s last straw slips when she confronts Tommy about his absence.

“I really can’t let you in there, Miss,” the man sitting behind the desk in the receptionist area told (Y/N) for the umpteenth time.

(Y/N) sighed. She’d been at this for at least twenty minutes now. She was hoping that maybe her persistence would soon reward her with a different answer. So far it hadn’t been helping.

“Why not?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.

“Because you do not have an appointment. Mr. Shelby only sees those who have an appointment scheduled with him,” the man explained.

“And if I were to say that I was his fianceé?” she tried, “would I need an appointment then?”

The man’s expression changed immediately. (Y/N) just watched as he scrambled to get up from his chair as quickly as he could. “No, you most certainly wouldn’t. I’m sorry, ma’am,” he apologized as he led her to the door that connected to Tommy’s office.

“Thank you,” she nodded at him, a pleased smile on her face as the door was opened to show Tommy sitting at his desk, his face practically buried in papers.

“Mr. Shelby, your fianceé’s here to see you,” the secretary announced, allowing (Y/N) to step inside before he shut the door again.

Tommy’s head snapped up upon hearing the door shut to see (Y/N) standing with her hands clasped behind her back. “Why’re you here?” he asked, no evident emotion present in his voice. If anything, he was confused as to why she was paying him a visit.

“Seriously, Tommy?” (Y/N) was shocked by his nonchalant question. Tommy raised his eyebrows and flipped his right palm to the sky, as if he was repeating his question in a nonverbal manner. “You’ve forgotten what we were supposed to do during lunch today?” Silence followed her question. “We were supposed to tour the venue?”

A sigh left Tommy’s lips. “Something came up, love,” he told her, removing his glasses then so that he could pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Just like with the fittings and the tasting appointments. Something always comes up,” (Y/N) huffed, crossing her arms, “it’s almost like you don’t want this wedding to happen anymore.”

“That’s not it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Than what is it?” her eyes were wide as she waited intently for an answer.

“I’ve got important things to do here, (Y/N). I’ve been elected to this position, and there’s expectations placed on me. I’ll call the venue and reschedule the tour,” he spoke in a flat voice, as if he was dealing with another item of business.

“No, you’re not going to reschedule it just so that you can miss it again,” she insisted, pursing her lips to stop them from quivering in anger.

“I won’t miss it,” he assured her.

“You said that the last time,” she snapped.

“And I’m saying it again,” he said dismissively. Shock filled (Y/N)’s features then as he looked back at his papers, trying to figure out where he was with his work before she’d entered the room.

Is he being serious right now?! (Y/N) thought incredulously, her eyes wide as she watched him slip back into his work like it was nothing. “Look at me right now,” she demanded then, even surprising herself by how assertive she sounded. She waited until his eyes were back on her before continuing, “do you even care about this, Tommy? Do you care about us?”

Tommy stared at her for a moment, digesting her question and thinking it over. His eyebrows were so deeply furrowed together at this point that his forehead was almost starting to hurt. Where had all of this come from? “Where’s this coming from, eh?” he asked exactly what was on his mind.

“It’s just that…” (Y/N) paused with a long sigh. She’d kept all of these feelings bottled up, but now that it was time to talk about them, she had no clue where to start. “I feel like I’m on my own with everything,” she finally said. Her statement barely scratched the surface of what she was feeling, but it was a start.

“You’re not. I’ve got a lot to do, (Y/N). You know that,” he told her, motioning to his desk before he glanced at the clock. He had a meeting that he needed to be at.

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes it feels…”

“Mr. Shelby, you’re needed for a meeting,” the secretary broke into (Y/N)’s statement, his words making Tommy stand from his desk.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” he told the man, who nodded and shut the door. He took a glance at (Y/N), who now looked baffled, before he went through the motions of lighting himself a cigarette. “Now, is there anything else that’s needed to be talked about? Anything that can’t wait until I get home?”

Is. He. Being. Serious. Right. Now? she repeated to herself as she blinked a few times, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that he was essentially dismissing her. The more she thought about it, the more her anger rose. This was the final straw for her. She was at the end of her rope.

“Yeah, actually there is something else,” she responded, her emotions quickly becoming apparent as she took a few steps closer to his desk while fighting with the piece of jewelry present on her left hand’s fourth finger. “Take the ring, Tommy. I’m finished with all of this.”

“(Y/N)…”

“No. Save it. I see how this ends now, and I’m saving myself from it. Goodbye, Tommy Shelby,” she cut his objection off, looking up at him only to reveal her glare before she turned on her heel and stormed out of the office.

*tags in reblog so that hopefully they get sent out

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby blurb #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders x you #peaky blinders blurb #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #k’s 3.5k celebration

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joeshiestyslover · 8 months

Text

i just wanna feel your love again

pairing: cocky!joe burrow x reader

summary: you see joe again two years after you left to pursue your dream job in new york

warnings: language, some angst, some fluff, happy ending bc joe deserves it

masterlist

lowercase intended

a/n: part two to hotel room bc i know y’all wanted it so here you go!!

it’s too late for us. those words cut through joe’s heart like a knife. he regrets letting you walk out his front door without fighting for you. joe really was in love with you, but for some reason he couldn’t show it. something inside him prevented him from telling you how he felt, and because of that he lost the only person he truly loved. since that night, joe swore to himself that if the opportunity ever presented itself, he would never let you walk out of his life again.

it’s been two years since that night, and joe still has hope that he’ll see you again. he stopped hooking up with random girls, he stopped drinking and going to clubs, and he turned all his attention towards football.

joe still checks up on you sometimes. a few months ago, you finally unblocked joe on instagram, though his number remained blocked, but he’ll take what he can get. when he looks through your posts, he’s happy to see you doing so well. you’re thriving with your new job and your new friends, and it seemed as though you would stay in new york forever. little did joe know, that your job is relocating you back to cincinnati.

the moment you stepped back in ohio, you felt like you were home again. you made so many great memories in cincy, but there were bad ones too. well, one bad memory in particular: the night you left joe for good. that night is on constant replay in the back of your mind. since you left, you always wondered what if. what if you stayed? what if you told joe you loved him back? you tried not to think about him, but it was just so difficult. you loved joe with everything in you, hell you still do, but you know it would never work. joe isn’t the type of guy you marry and have kids with; he’s the guy you have fun with in your early twenties before you realize you want something serious.

ever since you got back to cincinnati, you’ve been thinking about joe. what would you do if you saw him? what the hell would you say to him? you decide to try to take your mind off the quarterback by going out with your friend, kennedy, who you haven’t seen since you left for new york. you both decided to meet the club you two always went to, and coincidentally, the same club where you met joe.

your uber pulls up to the club, and you take a deep breath before thanking the driver and getting out of the car. the moment you walk in your eyes connect with kennedy, and you let out a sigh of relief. “y/n!!!” kennedy yells as she basically sprints across the club to hug you. “i missed you so much! you have to tell me all about new york!” she exclaims excitedly. “i missed you too, and i will tell you about new york, but for right now let’s drink!” kennedy laughs and leads you over to the bar, where you order two shots of fireball. once you receive your shots from the bartender, you immediately down the shot, and you wince at the burning sensation in the back of your throat. “we should go dance!” you yell. “omg yes let’s go!” kennedy takes your hand and leads you to the dance floor.

you don’t know how long you were dancing for, but after a while, you both go back to the bar for more drinks. you’re about to take your fifth shot when you hear kennedy gasp. “what is it?” you ask, concerned. “y/n, don’t turn around, but there’s a certain blonde, blue-eyed quarterback fifteen feet behind you.” you freeze. there’s no way. going against your friend, you slowly turn around to find the man you fell in love with. you quickly turn back around to avoid him spotting you.

across the club, joe is accompanied by his teammates who somehow convinced him to go out with them. they all settle in a corner before joe’s teammate, ja’marr, speaks up. “there’s no fucking way bro.” joe’s eyebrow raises. “what?” “dude look straight ahead at those two girls at the bar.” ja’marr points to exactly where you and your friend are standing. joe’s eyes follow to where his receiver’s hand is point and his eyes settle on you. at first, he thinks he’s dreaming, but it really is you, and you look more beautiful than you’ve ever looked. you’re practically glowing.

he sees you and kennedy trying to leave, and he almost lets you, but he remembered the promise he made to himself the night you left. without a word to his team, he begins to run towards you, determined to get you to hear him out.

you and kennedy are outside, booking an uber when you hear your name. you shake it off, thinking you’re just hearing things, but you hear it again. you turn to where the voice is coming from, and you lock eyes with joe. before you know it, joe is standing in front of you. “joe what the hell are you doing?” “y/n look before you say anything, i fucked up. i waited too long to tell you how i felt and i paid the price. i lost the love of my life. after you left i bettered myself. i stopped hooking up with random girls, i stopped drinking, and i stopped going to clubs every weekend. hell, this is the first club i’ve been to in over a year. y/n i love you so much, and i can’t stop loving you no matter how hard i try. it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but i just had to tell you.”

you’re speechless. one part of you wants to punch him in the face and tell him to fuck off, but the other part of you wants to leap into his arms and kiss him. “joe… i would be lying if i said i don’t love you because i do, but you treated me like shit. you made me feel horrible about myself, like i didn’t matter.” you can feel your eyes begin to burn from the tears that are forming. “i cannot tell you how sorry i am for doing that to you. i promise that i will continue to be the man you deserve. please just give me the chance to prove that to you.” he takes your hand, and you let him. you bring your hand up to joe’s cheek. “just please don’t hurt me again.” you tell him as he grins from ear to ear. “i would never dream of it honey.” he replies as he dips his head down to kiss you with passion that you had never felt with him before. it may have taken a while to get to this point, but it was well worth the wait.

#joe burrow #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #nfl #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fic #cincinatti bengals #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow angst #cincinnati

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chosotallgf · 1 month

Text

UNEXPECTED TURN - CHOSO KAMO [chapter 1]

SUMMARIZE.. y/n never bothered getting to know choso after the shibuya incident happened and he became an ally to jujutsu high but what happens when he decides to try and get to know her on a personal level and they start getting put on mission together

TAGS.. choso x fem!reader, shibuya incident arc spoilers!!, post shibuya incident au, character dearth mentioned, slow burn, smut, angst, reader is a sorcerer, oral sex, masturbation + more

A/N.. hi this is my first fanfic ever also I posted it on A03 under the same username. keep in mind I’m a beginner at writing lol. like & rebolgs are appreciated | DONT NOT REUPLOAD :D

………………………………………………………………………………….

you and choso where out having lunch discussing your plans for an upcoming mission later that day. It’s been half a year since the shibuya incident, even after the many deaths that took place that night you ended up finding yourself making a new connection later down the line

choso become an ally for jujutsu high short after the incident, first it started off with you two getting place together to go on small missions together outside of Tokyo. When you first heard of the idea of you and choso being partner up you weren’t a big fan of it, everyone seem to connect well off of first interaction and start to enjoy choso company especially after finding out that he is yuji half brother but you? barely even talk/avoided him outside of missions.

“what are you thinking about”? choso asked as he saw your blank expression as you two were waiting on the food to come out “Huh? oh.. just that how much I hate working with you that’s all” you softly smirk at him. you love teasing choso so often that become y’all daily thing to do to each other. One day after you and choso got back from a mission you were about to head out of jujutsu high until you heard fast steps catching up to you.

“hey.. um y/n you have a moment?” choso asked awkward while scratching the back of his head. you then turn around and sign “yeah what is it?” choso honestly wasn’t sure how he should approach you, when y’all get sent on mission its just strictly about the mission no personal stuff about each other lives, nothing.

he kinda took the hint that you didn’t want to conversation about anything outside of that 3 weeks after the incident when you both were on the train headed to koyto and he asked how long you been a sorcery at jujutsu high and you responded with “why do you care just let’s just do our jobs, the faster the better”

every since then choso didn’t dare to bring up anything after that until the day he generally was curious and had enough of this ‘only talk during and about the mission thing’ he wasn’t a pushy person but he can bet there has to be more to you than this nonchalant mask you are pulling because of the story’s yuji told him when he himself first started out and you and gojo teach him. he had to know why you were so casual with everyone but not him

“Sorry to bother you y/n, don’t take this the wrong way but did I genuinely do something to offend you? every since I came to jujutsu high and going on mission I feel like you been bothered by my presence of that makes any sense” your response could go south either way choso though he didn’t know if you would just curse him out or just turn around and keep ignoring him like you been. “Are you that much of new puppy that you need everyone attention and become friends?”

“hey wait a min don’t go yet” as you turned your head a little bit choso could see your eyes get glossy. “Let me go pls” you barley spoke. A single tear fell down your face. “I’m sorry if it’s becaus-“ choso was about to finish his sentence until gojo loudly interrupted them.

“Heyy choso how have you been? Oh y/n you there too? did you file the last mission yet I haven’t seen it yet if you did” gojo said when he got a glimpse of your hair behind choso back as he was walking up to y’all. as soon as you heard gojo voice you quickly pull your wrist back from choso and he let go.

you then quickly rush off campus and into your car. “Hey come back” choso shouted. You thought how embarrassing that was,now you wouldn’t even dare show your face in front of choso now after he seen you in that state. “I guess she really doesn’t like doing reports after all” gojo said confused.

part 2 coming soon… don’t forget to like & reblog :)

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jagibee · 1 year

Text

Call Me Luna

(Stray Kids x Reader)

Chapter 8

5,994 Words

A/N: A bit of a longer chapter as an apology for taking so long but also bc it was originally supposed to be two chapters and I just couldn’t find a good split point😭, and I did change the story title bc I got bored with Stray Pack but this is the same story and plot, and I’m sorry but my taglist is at its limit (which I didn’t even know existed?) so if I didn’t tag you on this post, it will be on the reblog!

Also, Happy Birthday to the love of my life who isn’t in this chapter nearly enough, but will be in the next chapter. Bang Chan, you have brought me a light and inspiration that I haven’t felt in a very long time and even if you have no idea who I am, you will always be the one for me🖤

Also

Nobody:

Me with the foreshadowing in this chap:

Let’s get started!

TW: references to sex, mentions of spanking (not necessarily sexual but could be interpreted that way)

…

You all settled down so that they could get through recording. Felix was sandwiched between you and Hyunjin, just as a small precaution in order to prevent any more growling. On your other side was Jisung and Seungmin sat on Hyunjin’s other side, providing extra padding against alphas. Chan and Changbin were both at the sound table and Minho was currently being recorded, so you didn’t have to worry much about them getting too close anyway, at least, not at this exact moment. Jeongin himself was settled at Felix’s feet like a trusty guard dog.

You, Chan, and Felix had all taken off your scent blockers as well, which helped to calm Innie down.

Minho was the last one recording, so everyone was a bit subdued. Changbin had paced around a bit while being sure to keep enough space between him and Jeongin. When the youngest alpha had recorded, everyone in the room held their collective breath, but he seemed to be doing fine.

Next to you, Jisung had leaned down so he was laying down on the couch with his feet splayed out in front of him, body posture indicating that he was zoning out, but one look at his eyes told you that he was paying rapt attention to what was happening in the recording box and at the table.

On your other side, Felix leaned his head against you and pulled out his phone instead of watching the older boys.

He pulled up Twitter and started scrolling through. You wanted to give him some privacy, but curiosity got the best of you. It’s not like he’s actively turning his phone away, you told yourself.

Once the word ‘caretaker’ caught your eye, you gave up the pretense and shifted even closer. The movement caused Felix to notice and he tilted his phone so you could see it more easily. “They’re sort of all over the place with the caretaker news.” He told you, deep voice soft as he tried to not interrupt the others. “Some people are really supportive of it but of course there are some people who think that either caretakers are sasaengs who manipulated the system so that you could be close to us, or that you’re going to steal our attention away from our fans.”

“Both of those statements are true, also, did I forget to mention I’m a spy from Dispatch meant to expose your secrets?”

Felix giggled and you let your eyes scan over the comments.

Maybe if y’all stanned TXT this wouldn’t have happened🤷‍♀️

tell this random weirdo to stay away from my lixie!!!!!!!

YALL IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS THE CARETAKER IS THE ONE IN FELIX’S BUBBLE POST

Reading over the last one, you bumped your shoulder lightly against Felix. “What exactly did your bubble post say?”

He frowned. “It just said ‘lunch with a new friend’ with a yellow heart emoji. It’s kind of impressive that they did actually connect the dots.”

You hummed thoughtfully. “Well, at least people probably won’t recognize me out on the street just from my hand.”

Felix smiled and went back to scrolling, giggling at a semi-professional debate about what Lee Know would give up for the rest of his life between pudding or butt hunting.

Said pudding lover and butt hunter then finished recording, striding out of the recording box as Chan spun his chair to face the rest of the room. Changbin rolled his own chair across the floor until it stopped in front of Minho, who grabbed it and spun it so he could sit in Changbin’s lap. Changbin squeaked in surprise but didn’t make any signs of protest when Minho brought the younger’s arms to wrap around his waist.

“Alright,” Chan began, “I think it’s pretty much a free day from here on. I know Jisung has a vocal lesson and Hyune wants to talk to Y/N, but other than that, I’ll be in the studio and Minho is going to be going over choreography so if anyone wants to join either of us, feel free.”

“But not too free, I need a break from you degenerates sometimes.” Minho retorted from where his head lay against Changbin’s shoulder.

You missed what Chan said in response as you leaned across the back of the couch behind Felix to consult Hyunjin. “You wanted to talk to me?”

His wide eyes met yours then quickly moved to Felix’s hair as Hyunjin started twirling it nervously between his fingers. “Yeah. Chan-hyung said we should talk about my h-heat. Especially since it comes so quick after Felix’s that we might not have enough time between our heats to properly talk.”

You could hear the other members join Chan and Minho’s discussion, but your focus remained on Hyunjin. “That’s a good idea,” you murmured, “But you don’t want Chan or another member to sit in with us?”

He shook his head, glancing back at you and biting his lip. You didn’t want to push him when he was so clearly nervous so you nodded and turned back to the others.

Right next to you, Jisung was declaring that “this group is not a democracy, hyung”.

“Sungie, you are the one person in this room that has a strict schedule today.”

“Don’t you start with me, Kim Seungmin-”

“Okay, okay!” Chan raised his hands. “I think that’s enough. So, Han will go to his lesson, Jinnie and Y/N will talk, Seungmin and Felix will come to the studio with me, and Bin and Iyen will go with Lino to the dance studio. Wait.” He paused and turned to you. “Is it okay to have Innie with the two members he’ll be aggressive towards?”

You considered it for a moment. “I think it should be fine. It might actually be better, hypothetically, since Innie won’t have to deal with either of them getting too close to Felix, so I think he’ll actually be less aggressive.”

“If my aegi-alpha gets too aggressive, I’ll just give him a good spanking.”

Chan turned to Minho and stared at him, narrowing his eyes while his knuckles turned white from his grip on his chair arms.

Instead of retracting his statement or apologizing for it, Minho simply basked in the attention, leaning back against Changbin and crossing his arms with a smirk on his face.

You glanced at Jeongin to see his reaction, but he was a bit preoccupied with Felix’s fingers running through his hair. Innie’s eyes were shut as he leaned his head back in between Felix’s knees.

You felt like you were intruding on a special moment, so you looked up and your gaze met Chan’s. He had a soft smile as he glanced from you to the two boys.

He blinked as if coming out of a trance and cleared his throat. “So, everyone know where they’re going?”

“Wait, hyung!” Jisung’s hand shot up in the air like he was a student eager to be called on. “I know you told us that we can be comfortable around Y/N-noona, but exactly how comfortable is that? Like, is it the same level as we are with our managers, or our makeup noonas or what?”

Chan smiled at him and swiveled his chair to face him more directly. “Since Y/N’s job actually involves a little more… familiarity with our group, especially when it comes to our emotional and physical health, I figured that we could be a little more open with her. She knows about our relationship and everything. The company did ridiculously thorough background checks and she’s signed several NDAs, so we can be as honest with her as we want.”

Han scooted forwards until he was barely on the couch and gestured with his hand for Chan to come closer. When Chan rolled his chair over, Jisung leaned to whisper in his ear. Whatever he said caused Chan to giggle. “Yes, we can kiss in front of her.”

“Oh.” Jisung blinked twice. “Well, in that case…” He grabbed Chan’s collar, pulled him close, and planted an obnoxious, cartoon-level, lip-smacking kiss right on the alpha’s lips.

Chan sputtered and his ears burned as he pulled away. “I meant- why did- you didn’t have to kiss me now!”

“Nope.” Jisung wiped his mouth with the back of his hand theatrically. “But I enjoyed it.”

…

Once everyone had reapplied their scent blockers and straightened themselves up, you followed Hyunjin out of the recording room.

Instead of going to the small meeting room like you did with Chan and Felix, Hyunjin led you in the opposite direction you had come from.

He fidgeted with his hands as he walked you rode down the elevator. First, they fiddled with his jacket buttons, then his rings, then tapped against his thighs.

It was obvious he was nervous, but you didn’t want to make him even more so by pointing it out.

The two of you made your way into a room and you realized that it was the same small dance studio you had met Hyunjin in.

He stopped in the middle of the room and frowned at the wooden crates you had all sat on last time. “I guess we could move them so we sit across from each other, that seems the most professional,” he murmured while rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb.

Your mind blanked for a second before you refocused. “Well, this doesn’t have to be super professional. No one is grading you,” you joked. “Here, we can even chill on the floor if you want.” You brought some cushions from a stack in the corner of the room and brought them to the middle of the crates.

Hyunjin smiled at you and adjusted one of the cushions before sitting down on it.

You placed your own cushion on the ground across from him and pulled one of the crates over so you could use it as a back rest.

You sank down and Hyunjin smiled at you politely. “Where should we start, noona?”

You pulled your bag over and pulled out the file on him and his bandmates. Handing it over, you told him, “What Felix and I started with was going over the information the company gave me so that you know what I know and you can tell me if there’s anything wrong or anything big that the company doesn’t know or didn’t share with me. I don’t want to be overly nosy or creepy or anything, but as a caretaker, it’s important that I know things that relate to both your physical and mental health. Also, client confidentiality applies in my job, so I couldn’t tell your company anything even if I wanted to, unless it involves you hurting yourself or others.”

Hyunjin blinked at you wide-eyed, the file bending slightly in his tight grip. Then, his eyes narrowed and his lips pouted slightly.

You felt your own fists clenching around the straps of your bag at the sight, but you collected yourself when he started to speak.

“I thought you were hired by the company. Doesn’t that make them your client?”

Your smile widened at him. “What a smart question!” At this, you could see the corners of his mouth flicker up. “The company is my employer, but they hired me to be a caretaker for you, not for the company. If I had to be a caretaker for everyone in this entire company, I would scream.” You raised your eyebrows playfully. “Could you imagine if I went up to JYP and asked him to tell me about his sex life?” You shuddered theatrically.

Hyunjin let out a startled exhale which quickly morphed into full-on cackling. He threw his head back and clapped, leaning backwards and almost falling over which only caused him to laugh harder. You giggled along with him, relieved that the slight tension was dissolving.

Once you two managed to mostly calm down, he looked at you with his hand hovering in front of his mouth. “Oh my god. “‘“Oh my god”’”. Eugh!” He scrunched up his face and stuck his tongue out in disgust, which just set off another round of laughter for both of you.

You took some deep breaths and noticed Hyunjin doing the same. You both smiled at each other and he ducked his head as he went to pick up the file he had dropped when he started clapping.

He flipped through it and got to the page with his information. As his eyes scanned the page, his smile slowly faded.

“Not particularly possessive of my nests? The only reason I’m not possessive is because they’re my pack! My m- my band! They’re always welcome in my nests! I may not be as protective as Felix but it’s not like I would let just anyone in!”

Noticing his distress, but most notably, the lack of a distressed scent, you realized that you both still had your scent blockers on. You took yours off and allowed your calming scent to sweep the room. It wouldn’t be as potent to Hyunjin while he had his own scent blockers on, but you hoped he could sense it nonetheless.

You didn’t want to touch him without his consent, so you gently pushed the file down, away from where it covered his face, gaining his attention and making it easier for him to see you.

You smiled at him. “Hey, Hyunjin. You want to take a deep breath for me?”

He blinked at you twice before nodding and inhaling. He held it for a second before his cheeks puffed out as he exhaled.

“Good job! Now, I know that you’re probably upset since the company is making these assumptions about you based on limited information. I would be, too. But, since you aren’t exactly inviting your managers into your nests, does it really matter what they think about you?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he considered it. After a minute, he shook his head.

“No, it doesn’t matter. And the ones whose opinions you do care about know that you keep the nest open to them because you trust them and love them. I promise you, they don’t think any lesser of you because of the way you keep your nests.”

Hyunjin’s tense eyes softened around the edges. “I guess… that makes sense.”

Your voice took on a more teasing tone. “Do you not believe me? I could call Chan right now, and I’m certain that he would march on down from his studio just to tell you how wonderful your nests are. And I’m certain that your other packmates would be right behind him.”

Hyunjin smiled shyly as he traced a shape on the ground that vaguely resembled a heart. “Yeah, they would.”

You tapped on the file still in his other hand. “Now that that’s settled, is there anything else you want to tell me?”

Hyunjin put the file down on the floor and rested his hands on top of it, like he was trying to press it into the ground. He turned his head to look at the wall of mirrors next to you and you could see him swallow. His eyes flickered back to meet yours and you could see the pure vulnerability in them. “Since you’ve been so upfront and honest with all of us, I figure I should return the favor. I… In Korea, male omegas- or, just, omegas in general, I guess, are sort of taught to hide their heats? Or, not hide them exactly, but it’s not something you really talk about? Not even with other omegas. We’re pretty much taught that heats are signs of weakness or that they’re gross to talk about, so you sort of pretend that they don’t exist, even when we would get a week off of school or work.”

He paused to look down at his hands and you waited while he took a second.

“When Felix first came over, obviously there were a lot of cultural differences between Australia and Korea. He would casually mention how he was nervous about spending his heats here. Channie-hyung and Minho-hyung helped him the most, not just because they’re the oldest, but because Chan could sympathize with the change in culture and Minho… had a lot of omegan friends back in Gimpo when he was growing up. Even when Felix got used to spending his heats here, he still never really stopped talking about them. Of course he didn’t say anything when we went out in public or anything like that, but he never tried to hide it around us.” Hyunjin’s mouth curled up at the corners. “There was this one time when we were in the dressing room and he was complaining about his pre-heat cramps loud enough for all of the staff to hear. Changbinnie-hyung’s face was so red,” he snickered.

Suddenly, his face sobered up. “I really wish I had been there for him more. As the other omega in our pack, it should have been me, but at that moment, I just felt… all I felt was shame. Shame for him, for letting other people know that he had heats, shame for me, for being the other omega and being afraid that people would think that I would talk about my heat in the same way, shame for the poor staff members who had to listen to that,” Hyunjin took a deep breath. “But then, one of the coordi-noonas came up and recommended a good painkiller brand, and one of our managers told Felix that they could buy some ice cream on the way home, and I… I was so amazed. Talking about anything related to heats was supposed to be this horrible, embarrassing thing, but instead, Felix just got sympathy and support.”

Hyunjin looked back up at you and stared deep into your eyes. “I know that I don’t like to talk about my heats, even after seeing that and being with Felix all this time, but I know that you’re here to help me and my pack, so I’m going to do my best to not be ashamed anymore.”

You took Hyunjin’s hands in yours. “Thank you so much for telling me. I really-”

You were suddenly interrupted by his stomach doing its best impression of a whale song. His eyes widened before he hid his face in his hands. “Talk about embarrassing and shameful. I guess we forgot to eat lunch.”

You cackled and stroked his shoulder in what you hoped was a soothing way. “Well,” you giggled, “should we get some now? I’m pretty hungry, too, now that you mention it.”

Hyunjin’s hands slid from his face as he looked back up at you. “Hmm. I’m kind of craving something sweet.” He turned until he was lying on the floor with his face turned towards the ceiling.

As you scooted over to lay down beside him, he sat up and stared at you with his eyes lit up. “I have a genius idea! Have you tried any good Korean snacks since you moved here, noona?”

You thought back to everything that happened since you got off the plane. “Uh… not really? There were some chips or something in the hotel room but I didn’t want to spend the company money on ridiculous stuff like that.”

Hyunjin waved his hand dismissively. “Even if you did eat them, it wouldn’t really count. Expensive places always overcharge for mediocre things.” He set his hand back on the floor and turned back to you. “Do you know what this means?”

“That I need to order more of my own snacks from home before I run out?”

“No!” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, but you could see a hint of mirth in them. “Well, yes, noona, you should definitely do that. And order some for us to try. But we should raid the vending machine and have a taste testing! I even stole Binnie-hyung’s credit card this morning, so we can use that!”

You giggled at his enthusiasm for both having a taste testing and using his member’s money to pay for it. “I’m up for it if you are, but if Changbin finds out, I’m pinning everything on you. He’ll probably go easy on you, anyway.”

Hyunjin shrugged, his expression somewhere between fond and smug. “Yeah, he’ll definitely go easy on me. Especially when I tell him our pretty noona coerced me into it. He’ll understand. How am I supposed to say no to that? Anyway, we could also get some snacks to drop off at the dance studio after we’re done with our taste test, I’m sure that Changbin-hyung and Innie would be glad for a snack break.”

“I- okay.” You stuttered, trying not to fixate on the phrase “our pretty noona”. “Let’s do a taste testing. Lead the way to the vending machines.”

After reapplying your scent blocker, you both made your way down two flights of stairs and down a long hallway before you came to the vending machine. Hyunjin explained that there was one closer to the room you were in, but that this one had better snacks.

You stopped in front of the vending machine, a little surprised at how high tech it looked. You were more used to ones with sticky buttons that refused to take your dollars more often than not and that you would occasionally have to shake to free your snack. This one had a whole mini snack elevator.

“Let’s see, Innie likes these cheesy crackers, Changbin-hyung will cry if he finds out we used his credit card and didn’t get him anything, so let’s get him the barbecue chips, and this is Lino-hyung’s favorite pudding…”

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you watched Hyunjin mutter to himself about his bandmates’ snack preferences. “You’re so considerate of your packmates,” you told him.

He blinked at you in surprise, like he had forgotten you were standing there with him. “Ah, well, it’s really more of a survival tactic. I have had one too many pudding lectures from hyung, so if I show up with the wrong one, who knows what he’ll do to me?”

Back in the studio, you spread your bounty around the two of you, like you were preparing for hibernation. The three snacks for the boys in the other dance studio were carefully set off to the side, so that neither of you would mistakenly eat them.

“So,” you started, “I know the nest thing sort of threw you off, but is there anything else you think I should know before your heat? It can be anything, things you like to avoid, your favorite things to nest with, things you like to eat,” you asked, shaking the bag of chips you were currently eating from. They were a bit different than what you were used to, but still pretty good.

Hyunjin hummed around a ring-shaped gummy. “Well, I like to do laundry before my heats and then get my members to scent my stuff. I just feel a bit icky when I’m not sure when the last time I washed something was. Felix likes to bake during his preheat, which is sort of perfect because I eat more than usual during my preheat, so I can just eat whatever he made and put in the fridge. But I don’t like eating during my actual heat. As for the stuff in my nest… I have this scarf that Seungminnie bought for me once when we visited Paris. And Lino-hyung gave me a scrunchie that he drew a bunch of Jureumis on that I like to wear on my wrist. Also, Jisungie got me a dumpling plushie that also has a hot water bag inside. I have some other things from the members, too, but those are the first things that come to mind. Most of the other stuff is pillows and blankets. Felix likes fluffier blankets in his nest, but I like the smoother, silkier ones. And I love having my members in my nests with me. Also, I have at least three fans going on at the same time because I hate how hot I get. I do react a bit… dramatically when my members accidentally move something in my nest, which sort of confuses me a bit because that really only happens during my heats.”

You quickly brought out your notebook and pen and scribbled down all the information Hyunjin had given you. As you wrote semi-legibly, you did your best to talk to him at the same time.

“Well, that’s definitely a heat-brain thing. Do you only feel anger or annoyance at your pack when they move your nest around or is it something else, too?”

Hyunjin stopped chewing and set down the bag of candy. “I guess… it does hurt a bit. At first. And then I growl or nip them or something like that.” He shrugged dismissively.

“And that hurt, could it be that your anger is sort of a way to get around it or cover it up?”

He looked up to meet your gaze and squeezed the plastic package so it crinkled. “That… it could definitely be that, I suppose. I think… my brain is sort of telling me that my packmates are changing my nest because they don’t like the way I arranged it.”

You nodded and set down your notebook. “Well, I know that no matter what I say, during your heat, your omega is still likely going to react like that because you don’t have the same level of brain processing power as you do when you aren’t in heat, but maybe, hopefully, you’ll feel less guilty about it afterwards. Hyunjin, you know that your members love your nests. They don’t want to move it or change it, and from what they’ve told me, they always try to move carefully so that they don’t offend you. They also understand that you’re protective of your nests and that you react, as you put it, dramatically. They know that that can be a risk to stepping into your nest, but I am sure that it’s worth it to them. Even if they get nipped or growled at, they made the choice to enter your nest and they obviously think that it was worth it if they come back again and again.”

Hyunjin watched you with wide eyes before his face broke out into a soft smile. “Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. Plus, Lino-hyung bites the others enough that they should be able to deal with me if I bite them once or twice during my heat, even if I bite them a bit harder than he does.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes and leaned backwards until he was lying down. “I can’t believe I’m in a relationship with those losers.”

You smiled at him, glad that he could go from serious topics to more light-hearted ones. You grabbed another candy bag and a question formed in your brain.

“What exactly does the company know about your relationship?” You asked, tearing open the packet, this one with cartoon purple lizards advertising how “de-liz-cious” the gummies were.

Hyunjin hummed, popping a chocolate-covered cracker into his mouth. Once he chewed and swallowed it, he passed the bag to you.

“The company knows that we help each other through our heats and ruts, that’s why they had you sign a bunch of NDAs,” he told you, “but they don’t exactly know about the actual relationship between us. They know Hannie and Lino-hyung go out together, but they don’t know they’re actually going out together. They know Binnie-hyung flirts with me, but they don’t know that I flirt back when the cameras are off. They know that Chan-hyung and Felix sleep together a lot but they don’t know that they sleep together a lot.” He paused. “And I mean a lot. Honestly, most of the time, sleeping seems to be the last thing on their minds. Horny losers.” He shook his head fondly before refocusing. “The company tells us to play things up for the camera a bit for fan service, but what they don’t know is that we’re actually toning it down.” He finished with a smirk.

You grinned. “Wow. So they don’t know you’re in a relationship at all?”

“Nope. Just our families and some of our friends know. And now you, noona.” Hyunjin rolled over and stretched his arms out. “I guess we are pretty affectionate towards each other around our staff, but I think the whole 8-members thing actually throws them off. Poly packs aren’t as common as they used to be, so it probably hasn’t even occurred to them. They likely assume that some of us are together, just in couples, but they’ve never asked us outright, I think they’re fine with acting ignorant as long as we don’t let them or the public know anything.”

You had collected all of the empty snack bags and were about to throw them away while Hyunjin stretched his arms above his head. “So, is there anything else you want to tell me? I feel like we covered a lot, but just let me know if there’s something else.”

Hyunjin had moved on to stretching his back but paused to smile at you and shake his head. “No, I think we talked about everything we needed to, noona.”

“Okay.” You collected your notebook and bag before shoving the extra snacks in there as well. “Do you think now is a good time to interrupt the dance practice?”

Hyunjin stood up gracefully and sighed. “It’s always a good time to interrupt dance practice. I think Changbin-hyung and Innie will be eternally grateful to you.”

“Not you?” You questioned. “You picked out the snacks and it was your idea.”

He waved his hand dismissively as you made your way out of the dance studio and into the elevator. “They’ll be grateful for about five minutes until they conveniently forget it. Or they’ll ask me why I didn’t come and save them earlier.”

The elevator ride was silent, but much more comfortable than when the two of you had been in the same elevator earlier. You stepped out into the hallway, following Hyunjin until he came to a door on the right.

He peeked in through the window and smiled before gently opening the door.

The song and dance they were doing weren’t as intense as some of their other tracks and routines, it was a B-side they recorded earlier that day, and were still dancing to the guide version, but you could see that they were putting in the exact same amount of effort, no matter what the tempo or sound quality was. Their moves were soft, almost floaty, but they were still very deliberate and precise.

You saw Minho’s eyes glance at you and Hyunjin in the mirror from where he was at the front of the formation, but he gave no other acknowledgment of your presence.

I.N and Changbin also noticed you, but they were less smooth about it. Changbin faltered in his movements and Innie fell behind rhythm.

“Yah, finish up the song, brats. Then we can take a break.”

At Lee Know’s words, the other two seemed to come alive, dancing with more energy than before. The song wasn’t much longer, and their positioning for the ending pose almost made you laugh out loud. Of course, the dance was meant to be for eight members, and there were quite a few missing, so there was Minho and Innie posed together on one side of the studio and Changbin all alone on the other side. Evidently Hyunjin shared the same thoughts as you, but didn’t keep quiet about laughing, even as you two clapped politely.

“Oh, my Binnie-hyung, are you lonely over there?” Hyunjin teased.

Changbin unfroze from his pose to flop down on the wood floor, all splayed out and breathing heavily, but focused on Hyunjin. In a high-pitched voice, he called out, “Yah, Hyunjin, I’m always lonely when I’m away from you!” He wriggled on the floor in a way that you guessed was supposed to be cute, but his obvious lack of energy made it seem more like a fish flopping around on land.

Hyunjin giggled and walked over to Changbin, squatting and grabbing the alpha’s outstretched hand as he murmured something you couldn’t hear.

Innie had flopped down as well, almost mirroring Changbin as he took deep breaths. Minho had walked over to turn the music off, and then sat on the couch with a water bottle.

Seeing that he was mostly okay, you turned back to I.N. “Hey, little alpha. Do you want me to bring you your water bottle?”

Jeongin let out a loud groan that echoed around the studio. “Oh my gosh, noona, you are seriously my new favorite person. Yes, please. It’s the green one.”

You walked over to the wooden counter and retrieved the green water bottle. You spotted a blue and pink water bottle next to it and, deducing that it was Changbin’s, you handed it to Hyunjin to give it to Changbin before you headed back over to I.N.

You squatted next to him just as a loud groan pierced the air. “Y/N! You are welcome to stay with our group for the rest of our lives! I’m going to produce a song about you and sing it at every single concert and award show!”

You smirked at Changbin’s words as Innie thanked you for his water. “Just for brining you your water bottle? At least wait until you see what Hyunjin and I brought in my bag for you.”

Changbin sat up like he was possessed. “What do you have?”

You walked over to your bag and unzipped it, pulling out the barbecue chips Hyunjin had picked out. You tossed them over to Changbin, whose eyes widened as he caught them and read the label. “Yah, Y/N, how did you know I liked these?”

You shrugged as you made your way over to Minho, pudding in hand. “A certain omega packmate of yours might have told me. It was actually his idea, so make sure to thank him.”

Hyunjin had fully sat down next to Changbin, but now, Changbin tackled him onto his back and wriggled the two of them around like happy earthworms.

Minho smiled and thanked you as you handed him the pudding before peeling it open and lying down on the couch. You weren’t entirely sure how safe it was to eat the pudding like that, but he seemed confident in his abilities, like he had done this before, so you left him to it and walked over to Jeongin with the cheese crackers in hand.

Innie had been staring at the other two members, his expression one of disgust, but you could see the fondness sparkling in his eyes. “Gross,” he stated, as Changbin started kissing all over Hyunjin’s face.

“Hopefully, you’ll find this a little less gross,” you told him as you handed him the crackers.

His eyes lit up as he took the packet from you. “Thanks, noona.”

You zipped up your bag and threw it to the other side of the room. “You should be thanking Hyunjin, he picked them out for you.”

Jeongin frowned as he ripped open the snack package. “I don’t need to thank him. If anything, this is what I deserve as compensation for dealing with him.” His eyes wrinkled with his smile as he stuffed a cracker in his mouth. “Oh, thank you, noona! I’ve been extra hungry all day for some reason.”

You smiled and were about to respond when you were interrupted by Hyunjin flopping down next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. “Yes, thank you, noona. I’m really glad that you’re our caretaker. We haven’t known you for long, but I can tell that we’re going to love you.”

…

Sorry for any mistakes, I edited this and posted it in my college’s parking lot😭

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agustdef · 1 year

Text

Will You

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Black!Reader

Genre: Fluff; Idol AU/Idolverse

Word Count: 3k

Warning: Light Language

Rating: PG-13

Beta Reader: @hobeemin

A/N: This was due to idk and I have so many ideas that I simply didn’t write a ff that ended up posted for much too long. So here’s to hoping to finishing these ideas.

“And without further ado, I am more than happy to introduce you to our keynote speaker Ms. YN LN.”

Clapping fills the room, and Jungkook joins in a beat late. His mind wandered as he’d listened to the other speakers for almost an hour. They’d all had interesting things to say, but something about being in a room with all these people with a person at a podium felt too much like school. Plus, a few of them seemed just to enjoy hearing themselves talk.

He refused to admit that to YN, though.

His beautiful girlfriend tried to give him an out when he said he’d come with her for this event. Told him how boring it would be and that she didn’t mind if he just did something else until she was done. Of course, he pushed for it, and she relented with one final warning about how he’d be bored as hell. To a degree, he’d known that going into it, but he wanted to support her. And to see her in her element.

Though they both work in the same industry, they’re on different ends of it. Jungkook as an artist and occasional writer, while YN worked legal. Their first encounter was when an American artist friend of his invited her out to dinner as a thank you for helping him with a contract issue with his label. They’d made him promises and tried to backtrack when it was time for the new contract. YN worked at a firm that specialized in that kind of thing, though they usually worked with smaller artists. His friend had been her big break, bringing in business and a promotion.

Of course, Jungkook was too much of a punk to ask her for her number at that meeting. He was too nervous about if it was forward, and he didn’t want to mess with the mostly professional nature of the event. But he got her card, and that was enough.

Until they kept bumping into each other at the more business-like industry events. Well, half bumping into each other and the other half him hunting down her name on programs and making sure to show up to those panels or events. It made him feel like a little bit of a stalker, but to combat that, he finally got his shit together and asked her out after running into her at a restaurant.

Grateful to not be turned down was an understatement.

As they got to know each other, he felt himself fall hard and fast. She was perfect. Not in how one thinks when they hear the word, but in how that worked for him. That made their relationship work through the lows as well as the highs.

I love you slipped out of his mouth five months in.

If that didn’t explain why he put himself through this boredom, nothing, else would at least not in a way that made sense. His members still sometimes looked at him crazy with how he felt about her and how he could only sometimes find the words to explain it in a coherent way.

“I promise to try not making this too boring for y’all. I can not, however promise it won’t be boring at all. My line of work has to have some pitfalls besides all that paperwork,” YN joked.

The entire room laughs. It’s not the funniest thing in the world, but the way she delivers it and the energy she exudes as a person gets to people. It’s why Jungkook lets out a laugh that’s a little too loud and draws the attention of those around him. And of YN, though she doesn’t look his way to make that clear. He just nose from the way she pauses for a second longer, and her smile widens.

Embarrassed isn’t even the right word for him at the moment. Part of him wants to flee the room, but he stays in his seat. It helps that anyone who side eyes him switches to being shocked to see him there. Being identified as a member of BTS is what he can handle; being embarrassed is not, despite what his variety show content and the lives over the years might suggest.

To let the feeling pass, he focused on the stage. Well, on YN.

“For those who don’t know me, I’m YN LN, and I've been working at Heights Law for the last six or seven years,. We specialize in fair contracts for indie artists. From things with their label to tours, merchandise, the people they hire, and even contracts between members if it’s a group. About thirty-five percent of those we work with don’t even have a label they’re signed to and don’t want to. And then about twenty percent of our clients are more mainstream artists looking for the same services.

We don’t work with any sort of label because we feel it ties us to worrying too much about keeping on their good side when trying to figure things out. And while we are not on a mission to do anything that would be, for the lack of a better word, line crossing with the people we are trying to get to sign the contracts, our clients come first. That’s made us stand out in a way y’all may have heard about a time or two. I’d like to personally apologize for making you sit through articles about a certain label trying to screw over up and coming artist Minx and all the weird things that were honestly not so weird about her tour rider.”

Again laughter, but with some whispers and grumbles thrown in. That entire situation had everyone in the industry confused as hell, and for the last few months, they thought Minx was trying to be greedy until everything was settled and it was shown that all her asks weren’t as crazy as they’d seemed. Even Jungkook found himself looking at YN like she’d lost it with every new bit of information that was released. He’d asked her about it, but she gave him a look, and he had to wait out the outcome like everyone else.

“And for this, I think Minx is the perfect situation to discuss. I mean, when else will you see how things can go when a former lawyer turned pop star wants to sign with the label she used to work for but knows all their tricks.”

That was all it took to have people enthralled. After everything settled, everyone still had a million questions about it, but they were still waiting for someone at the firm to answer them. Jungkook had the fortune of dating YN around the time, so he got her to tell him, and Minx had invited them somewhere and told him more. So, he knew everything.

Which meant he could just stare at her. He didn’t think of himself as the type to be much of a creepy person, even if him trying to run into her wasn’t a clear indication of that. That and that looking at her was one of his favorite pastimes.

YNs cute.

He would and did use a million words to describe her. But the first thought in his brain when he saw her was how cute she was, and he felt his heart triple in size from that alone. Her genuine smile and soft features do a lot to counteract the fact that she’s only an inch shorter than me, which throws people off when they meet her and had only seen her face before.

Those legs of hers, when she wears heels, drive Jungkook absolutely feral. And he has to fight off the thought of them as his mind spirals. He focused instead on the light tint of pink pushing through the brown skin because of all the bright lighting, the way there’s a stray piece of hair not as curly as the rest that she swears isn’t from heat damage, and she can fix, the soft red of her lips, and the way every part of her body seems light and open as she talks about a subject she loves. A look he’s familiar with and is how he knows she looks at him.

More than anything, Jungkook is sure that YN loves him as much as he loves her, and like a revelation, he knows how much that is. How much space that love takes up in him, to the point that sometimes it feels like it’s overflowing. Right now, it feels like it’s overflowing.

“Questions?”

That one word pulls him out of his head, but he looks at YN with a clarity he didn’t have a few minutes ago, let alone a few hours ago.

Someone clears their throat, but his eyes don’t leave her.

“Why not just go with what the label wanted? I mean, sure, Minx had the background, but that shouldn’t make her any different than any other artist. Should she not be thankful to get into the place twice on different sides of it?”

There was agreement in the crowd, but it died out quickly with everyone else's quietness drop quiet.

Despite the shift in vibes, there’s a smile on YN’s face.

“Why do you think that? Is it because others don’t have that same knowledge? I can see how that could be seen as unfair because it is. But because she has the background,, she used it to help herself best,, which made it so we could best help her and those in the future. However, I can assure you that they changed their contract language a lot since then. Height and many other firms who deal with them and this kind of thing all saw a shift for the better and for the worst with them. So, while you may wonder why Minx didn’t simply take what she should be lucky to have gotten from them, I hope you’re settled by the fact that unless the rare thing happens. Someone else does the same thing, no one else will be able to give the insight on how to best make the next contract work for the client in the way she did.”

The response is assertive, sarcastic, and professionally annoyed. It doesn’t leave room for anyone to say anything that doesn’t make them look any more like an ass. But the man at the podium opens his mouth a few times to try and figure out what to say. In the end, he walks away from the mic with his head down. Jungkook is sure that if it weren’t for pride, he would walk out of the room altogether.

“Any more questions,” YN said after a moment.

There’s one that Jungkook has. One he needs answered, but he finds himself glued to his seat.

Several people go up and ask their questions, all of them better than the first one, though some of them toe the line. There are also a few that Jungkook would deem flirting, but they don’t bother him. Not with the thoughts swarming around in his head.

Before he knows it, she answers the last question, and everyone is dismissed. A few linger to talk, but with this day being so packed, everyone wants to rush off to the next talk or event happening.

He sits in the seat for about fifteen minutes before she walks up to him, and when she puts her hand on his shoulder, he looks up at her startled, even though he watched her approach him.

“Ready to go?”

Jungkook’s mouth opens and closes as he stares at her. He feels all over the place, but none of it’s uncertainty or doubt.

“I have a question,” he managed.

“Huh?”

“I have a question. I didn’t get the chance to ask it in there. I was… I’m nervous to ask it, and I couldn’t do it in there.”

YN frowned. “You can always ask me anything, my love. No need to be nervous about it. Plus, I’m sure yours is better than some of the bullshit I get asked in general when it comes to work.”

For a moment, Jungkook says nothing. All he can do is stare at her and try to keep his breathing normal. The latter is the hardest part, but YN takes his hand in hers and squeezes it tight.

Taking a breath, he gets to his feet, takes both of her hands in his, and stares into her eyes. He’s more than sure about what he has to say.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

Question nor answer was said with any hesitation. However, Jungkook could tell that YN was still trying to process what was happening. He was too, but that wasn’t important now.

After a second, Jungkook released one of her hands, and with the other firm in his grasp, he led her out of the room. He hears her ask a question, but it doesn’t fully register in his brain. All his focus is on weaving through the crowd of people and out the door of the convention center. The place isn’t as isolated as some can be, so he walked past the parking lot where his car is and made his way past the hotel they were staying at.

“Where are we going?”

“Jungkook?”

“Jay?”

There’s a loud exhale too, but Jungkook paid it no mind. He’s on a mission.

“For goodness sake, Kookie.”

YN matches his pace though she’s clearly confused by what the hell is happening. He knew he should say something, but couldn’t find his words just yet, so he kept walking until ten minutes later, they were in front of a popular celebrity-use jewelry store.

A few of the things he bought for himself and others - YN included - were from here, so he had a code that they gave him to get in. The door buzzed them in, and the moment that they walked in, there was a person there and ready to help. Though it might not be obvious to most, it was clear from the knowing smile on the woman’s face she knew what was up.

Didn’t stop Jungkook from being so flustered, though.

“Hi. Engagement rings. I mean, we would like to see engagement rings.”

Without a word, she directed them to the back of the store. They followed close behind her, and when they entered the room, she’s taking them to another person is setting down a tray of rings, with others sitting on a cart behind him.

Yeah, she knew.

Once everything is on the table, the man leaves, and they’re directed to sit. The woman who welcomed them stands on the other side of the table.

“This is a collection of all the rings we sell in the store. Though there are others, we can have custom made if what you see in front of you isn’t the right fit or you want a mix of styles. There’s a mix of the traditional sort and the non-traditional. Some are even without diamonds. Please, take your time to look through them and see if something catches your eye.”

Then she’s gone, and all the sound goes with her.

“We’re doing this?”

“You asked me.”

“True.”

Jungkook finally turns and looks at her, and despite all the nerves he’s feeling about if she’ll take it back, there’s a smile on her face. And a lack of anxiety like what’s going through him. Though he can tell, she’s a little thrown off by it all.

“I did. And I want to.”

“Then we better start looking, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

All the tension that was once there leaves the room, and they both turn their attention to the hundreds of rings in front of them. It’s an overwhelming site, but they dive into them. Jungkook tries to get YN to try some on, but she says that she doesn’t want to just yet, so they set them on the empty tray right in front of them.

Each one feels perfect to Jungkook, but not right. More of the diamond rings that look how he’s used to seeing American engagement rings look like end up on the tray, which isn’t much of a shock with YN’s usual preferences.

A tray marked as morganite is second to last, and Jungkook almost avoids it, but then one ring calls to him. His eyes zone in on it, and he reaches for it just as YN gasps. His neck nearly breaks when he turns to look at her, but the slight pain means nothing as he follows her gaze to the ring he was reaching for.

Without another thought, he picks it up, takes her hand, and slides it into place. Though it’s a little loose, it fits her finger. The oval champagne colored gem is on a white gold band and surrounded on either side with diamonds that fan out, almost like leaves on the stem of a flower. They wrap perfectly around her finger and stop before they reach the palm side. Everything about it is YN. Is them.

“Perfection,” YN whispered.

“Yeah.”

And like the whirlwind that this was, Jungkook was happy to find that they had the same ring, the right size, on the premises, and he paid for it right then and there. It only left YN’s finger so they could clean it, and then it was on again.

They walked out of the room, and both were on a cloud. All those nerves Jungkook felt before were gone, but something else replaced it.

“I guess we have a wedding to plan. I can’t imagine when we’d even have it,” YN said.

“Now.”

Not the least bit startled, she turned to him with a raised brow.

“Now?”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe?”

Silence sat between them for what felt like forever, and then YN turned her attention back to the jeweler.

“We need to see wedding bands, too,” she said, then turned back to Jungkook. “And you need to start making phone calls.”

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jeonscatalyst · 1 month

Note

Hey May, welcome back we missed you so much and I'm so happy you are back.

What are your thoughts about AYS so far? Loving it?

Hey anon, thank you so much and I missed y’all too so much.

I actually have alot of thoughts about AYS so far and I might be making a more detailed post later but if there is any particular thing you would like to get my thoughts on, you can shoot me an ask.

I think AYS so far has been amazing. The first two episodes gave a more calm and domestic vibe as we just got to watch Jimin and Jungkook go about normal daily activities as well as doing a few fun stuff like going camping, kayaking, yacht rides, motobike rides etc but I never thought i’d see the day where Jimin and Jungkook would head out to walmart to get a sponge to do dishes lol.

I think Episodes 1 and 2 gave us a closer look at what I always imagined Jimin and Jungkook’s off days would look like. By off days, I mean days where they weren’t working. I had mentioned before that one of the biggest things that convinced me about the possibility of Jikook being more than friends was how real they are. It’s the good, the bad and the ugly and the way their story so far with all it’s ups and downs makes perfect sense in the context of things.

While watching them, I couldn’t help but smile at how domestic and comfy they looked doing such simple everyday chores and activities. Getting out of bed, Jungkook immediately going to lay by Jimin’s side and just bask in his presence and company right before they start their day. It was also so refreshing to see how Jimin and Jungkook don’t necessarily need to be doing or saying alot to actually just enjoy being by each other’s side. I had mentioned this before in one of my post from my previous account. They have such an interesting dynamic and I would be lying if I said I don’t get fascinated at times.

I didn’t love the fact that Jimin was sick most of the time though but I thought it was so cute how Jungkook took care of him and how he also tried to make light of the situation by making jokes about it. Jungkook’s ability to tease Jimin in any and every situation is very telling of how comfortable he feels with Jimin. He doesn’t always have to try being the nicest or trying not to laugh in certain situations. The more you know someone and the more comfortable you are with someone, you show them more of the authentic you. You laugh when you find something funny without being too worried of how you might come off because you know that, that person knows YOU. It’s the same way your best friend would laugh at you after you fall before they think of helping you up while a friend or an acquaintance would help you and subdue the laughter for fear of upsetting you because they might not know how you would take it, while a bestfriend knows that sometimes that fun is better than feeling sorry for yourself. While some other people have shown concern about how Jk chose to handle certain things by claiming that he wasn’t careful enough, I think that is very on brand for Jikook and anyone who knows them, and has paid close attention to them all these years knows that.

Jk would scold Yoongi for teasing Jimin about saying “Sorry” at the UN and ask him to make Jimin feel better instead of teasing him, but will later tease Jimin about the same thing to make him laugh. It’s like he hates it when other people tease him but knows that he can because Jimin knows and he feels that his teasing makes things better for Jimin or atleast makes him laugh. I mean on rookie king, Jk told us that he teases Jimin alot because he like him so much and Jk had also admitted that he likes the reaction he gets when he teases Jimin. Need I say more? I honestly love how realistic Jikook feel.

I also noticed that Jimin really has a problem not helping when he sees someone else doing something even for him. At the camping site, Jungkook was in charge of cooking and all but Jimin just couldn’t sit still even though he had a stomach bug and went to go help in slicing the onions. In episode two, after they got back from walmart, Jimin again just couldn’t let Jk make the carbonara without helping in some way. He lingered around for a bit and then went to start cooking the kebab. Let’s not even talk about how he immediately jumped up to help the pregnant waitress at the first place they stopped to eat. He is the sweetest human alive.

Jungkook is not so different. I have always mentioned that Jungkook is the most sensitive and one of the most thoughtful people ever and it is kinda sad that many people misunderstand him because of his looks. The way he always thinks about the staff is so wholesome. The way he felt bad about the staff not having anything to eat and made sure he gave them something to eat was so beautiful.

As I said earlier, I have alot to say about AYS but will do that later. So generally, I think the first two episodes were absolutely amazing and just gave us a glimpse of domestic Jikook (we ofcourse should expect that things should be a little different when they are not being filmed) and it was just as I had imagined.

Episode 3 felt like a completely different show. While the first two episodes were more domestic and calm, episodes 3 felt more like run bts to me. I guess this was because of all the games they played and that fact that it just lacked that homely feel that episode 1 and 2 had but episode 3 was probably the most interesting to so many people for so many reasons.

There was a third member, there were more upbeat activities than just sailing on a yacht, cooking at home, cuddling in bed or going shopping. I also think Tae being around helped Jikook relax more. In the first two episodes, they seemed relaxed around each other but there was still this tense air that I could sense, you know that tense, awkward energy that Jikook always have around them when they are too aware of the cameras? Yes that one but with Tae in the mix, they had a buffer of sorts and someone else they could interact with to make things more “normal”. I think it was beautiful seeing Vminkook together just living. Jimin wasn’t feeling his best at the beginning but it seems like things got better before the day was over and I think with episodes 1,2 and 3 we could really see how different Jikook’s dynamic is when they are alone Vs when they are with another member (we ofcourse cannot get the full picture with them being filmed and everything but atleast we got an idea).

PS: Tae was an absolute ray of sunshine. I noticed that he seems to be back to his fun, chaotic, quirky and slightly weird self and I love that. I had missed that Tae so much.

Let me know if there anything else in particular you would like me to talk about.

#jikook #jimin #jungkook #taehyung #are you sure #areyousure #ays #jikook travel show

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hangmanbrainrot · 2 years

Text

more than this

a/n: HI. Me again! After talking with @rosiahills22, I simply HAD to give this idea a whirl. I hope y’all enjoy! Reader’s callsign is Van Gogh (to be explained) and I don’t use Y/N. :) special thanks to @bradshawsbitch for the encouragement. :’)

warnings: so much mutual pining, dash of angst toward the end. Generally, all my posts are 18+ because I don’t want minors interacting with my page! Probably naval inaccuracies.

word count: 3975

summary: You and Jake have been best friends for years now… Why mess with a good thing?

pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader, Jake Seresin x Aviator!Reader — callsign: Van Gogh

“Vee, you aren’t seriously wearing that to Family Day.”

You glanced down at your striped sleep pants and faded Navy t-shirt, then whirled around to look up at the oh so familiar source of the question. Lieutenant Jake Seresin, in the flesh. He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt, jeans, and black leather-banded watch on his wrist. His signature toothpick was missing from its usual post between his lips.

“You clean up nice,” you retorted, ignoring his initial remark. “And I thought we agreed, no call signs today.”

You ‘tsk’ed at him and turned back toward your laundry basket, then bending to pick it up and hold it at your hip.

“You have one of the coolest callsigns, besides mine, of course. What’s wrong with Van Gogh?”

“I got it because I dropped my books and everyone saw all the doodles in the margins of my notes. And it doesn’t even make sense, because Van Gogh was a painter. At least yours has a cool story, I mean—”

He said your name, low and sweet, to cut you off. The two of you weren’t about to rehash that story again.

“Better.” This earned you a smile. “I told you, I’m not going this year. I’m just gonna hang out here, take advantage of the empty lounge, and chill.”

“And I told you, my mother demanded to see you. In fact, I’d dare say she’s more excited to see you than she is to see me.”

“Can you blame Mrs. Seresin for having taste?” you replied easily, the teasing lilt to your voice unmistakable as you flashed Jake a megawatt smile.

“I’m absolutely telling on you, when I see her. ‘Mrs. Seresin’ instead of Sandy, as requested.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” you shot back, mock horror covering your features.

“Can, could, and would. Get dressed, Vee. Families will be here before you know it!”

The way that Jake departed after speaking let you know it wasn’t up for debate.

———————————————————————————————————

You heard Jamie and Courtney before you saw them, their familiar, slightly shrill voices carrying over the crowd of people all waiting for their own aviator to make an appearance. Jake’s older and younger sisters had always treated you like the additional sibling they’d never had, but on a day like today, it made your heart ache. You knew, of course, not everyone was lucky enough to find a kind family to adopt them the way the Seresins had adopted you. Even Robert Seresin himself — gruff as he was, he had a you-sized soft spot, much like his son. Though good luck getting either of the Seresin men to admit it.

You smiled as you spun on your heel, ready to retreat. Content to revel in the knowledge that you were loved, but too heavy-hearted to witness it today. You’d beat Jake here, somehow, so maybe you could slip out without his notice, either. Come up with some feeble story about suddenly coming down with a migraine, and nurse your ache alone, with your mounds of freshly laundered clothing, once you were sure he and his family had departed for the day.

But instead of proceeding forward, you collided with navy cotton and ginger and leather and… Jake. Had he always smelled this good?

“Hi, I was just,” you pushed out, before being interrupted. Why were you so nervous, all of a sudden? It was just Jake.

“Trying to ditch me. Darlin’, my feelings are hurt.” The tips of your ears burned red with embarrassment, even as your stomach did backflips over the way his accent thickened on the word ‘darlin’.’

“Sorry, Jake.” You didn’t even have the wherewithal to hide the giggle leaking into your words. But you were smart enough to play it off. “I was just going to get a jacket.”

“Vee, it’s July.”

“Yes, I do have a calendar and I can read!” Your eye roll was practically involuntary. “I just get cold sometimes in the AC.”

A lopsided grin slid onto his features while he aimed a pointer finger at himself. “Human furnace. Let’s go!”

Before you could protest, he was slinging an arm around your shoulders and all but crushing you into his side. “I think this outfit is much more appropriate for a trip off base.” It sounded like he was testing the compliment. And, truthfully, you liked this particular combination of white cap-sleeve blouse and jeans quite a bit yourself, too. But it was nice of him to notice. Then again, you couldn’t recall a time when Jake hadn’t noticed you, not since the beginning of your friendship. He was just always so checked in with you. Always so present. If you squinted, you could call it attentiveness.

“Jacob Michael Seresin, it is rude to keep your mother waiting! And where is — there she is, there’s my girl.”

Before either of you could inhale, a head of blond hair identical to Jake’s came bounding toward you, Sandra Seresin bundling you up in her arms like she hadn’t seen you in years, rather than the months it had been since the last time she had seen you via FaceTime.

You hugged Sandy a little tighter, as if you were afraid you would disappear if you let go. If it weren't for this woman and her family, holding onto you — in more ways than one — you often feared no one would remember you at all. No one to be on the receiving end of a phone call or a folded flag, if you didn't make it home one day. You would just… cease to exist. Quietly. Perhaps that was fitting, considering that was exactly how you lived your life.

You were your parents' only child, and they were gone. Well, your father was, anyway. Your mother never recovered after his sudden death, and had taken to self-medicating to ease the pain of his loss. Which, sure, you got, once you were old enough, but you were still small and new to the world, when the light that was your father went out. No one is ready to lose a parent they're close to, but certainly not when they're five. And it felt like you'd lost her, too, by the time you were 10. Moved out by the time you were 16. So, she wasn't gone, but there was no relationship to be had. You knew, of course, that if something did happen to you, they'd find her. But who would she be mourning? You had lived a whole life she knew nothing about; you had become an entirely new person. Someone she knew nothing about, but that the Seresins knew like the backs of their hands. Courtney was filling your hands with your favorite candy on the walk to the parking lot, and Jamie's kids were telling you about how they were doing in school.

Maybe someone, maybe a few someones would remember you. And fondly, you hoped.

At the height of the day, the sun was relentless, but as you walked beside Jake in the parking lot, you couldn't help noticing it made his hair the perfect shade of blond, and rendered his eyes the color of sea-glass.

"You know they just missed you," he chirped, misreading your expression and mistaking your melancholy for annoyance.

"No, no," you said softly. "It's nice to be missed. I just.."

"Today is hard," he finished your sentence matter-of-factly, and without any sort of air of pity. You heard, in its place, respect. He had no idea how you felt, but he'd always left space in your friendship for you to feel it. And, in true Jake fashion, he'd tried to fix it, by introducing you to his family, all those years ago, now. You'd only known each other a few months, then. But he didn't want you to be alone. And, the truth was, you hadn't been. Not since the moment you met him. All you ever felt when you were with Jake was ease. Comfort.

Your hand found Jake’s without thinking, eyes burning with unshed tears. “You’re my best friend, Jake. And I will not hesitate to kick your ass if you tell anyone how soft I got.”

You glanced over at Jake just in time to watch an unreadable emotion cloud his expression. Before you had time to think it over, he was squeezing your hand. “I’ll always keep all your secrets, Vee. Including that you prefer green Jolly Ranchers, even though blue are clearly superior.”

—————

The Seresins took you and Jake to a small diner off base, and it was today that you learned it was Jake’s favorite. You all sat in a booth toward the back, bunched up together in the cushioned semi-circle bench. Jake’s warm thigh brushed against yours, and you’d be lying if you didn’t notice the jolt that went through you, every time those thick cords of muscle pressed against you when he laughed, or when he reached forward to grasp one of the menus wedged between the matching salt and pepper shakers on the table.

With an arm lazily draped on the booth behind you, fingers loosely grazing your shoulder every so soften, Jake opened a menu for you to share.

“Well, what do you think, darlin’?”

“How did I not know this was your favorite place?” You asked, ignoring the question he was obviously asking you.

But he indulged you. “This was the first year I actually convinced you to come with us.”

“Convinced? I felt slightly bullied, Seresin.” You grinned, in spite of yourself.

“Forgive me for wanting to spend a little time with you, darlin’.” He sounded almost coy. You glanced up at him, at the same time he looked over at you, and found that ‘butterflies’ were an understatement for what that look was currently doing to your insides. It felt like a cross between adoration and desire, but what was even wilder was that Jake’s expression seemed to mirror your own — which was absurd because it was Jake. Jake, who always made sure you never got left behind; Jake, who sometimes pulled his punches with you when he was ragging on you over the comms. Yeah, that Jake, your Jake was looking at you like… that?

But then you heard Jake’s dad clear his throat from across the table and you and Jake glanced up like you’d been caught doing something far less innocuous. Your mind worked overtime trying to decipher what just happened here but the moment flickered and burnt out before you, and the conversation moved on like a film unpaused.

Despite the fact that his entire family was here, it felt like Jake couldn’t bear to take his eyes off you for a moment, not that you were complaining. And it was something his mother noticed, too.

“So, between the two of you, who do you think is the better pilot?” Courtney teased, a mischievous glint visible in the hazel of her irises.

But then Jake said your name at the same time you said his, causing you both to turn to each other in surprise, mouths agape.

“Stop being modest,” he accused, almost immediately. Part of you wanted to make special note of this moment, record it somehow. So that the next time Jake decided to have a pissing contest with some other pilot, you could chime in and remind him it didn’t matter, since he thought you were the best anyway. You went to shove at his chest, but your hand — and your heart — stuttered with you made contact. He was so solid. Just firm muscle and warm skin. When your gaze dared drift upward, he was blushing. Your comment, voicing the observation, would die on your lips, as your server returned to the table with a tray full of milkshakes. Leave it to Jamie to secure dessert when you weren’t looking.

—————

When the meal had run its course and everyone was preparing for the trip back to base, you couldn’t help but hang back a little bit, just to take it all in. Jake was indulging Courtney in one of those rare, long bear hugs, while Jamie and his mother ran off to the bathroom, and his dad made small talk with another patron seated at the diner’s counter. In spite of your resistance, this family had yanked you, kicking and screaming, into their lives. Whether you’d found them or they’d found you didn’t matter, what mattered was the moment unfolding before you. You wished you could wrap it around you and let it warm you from the inside out.

You weren’t sure when Jake had released Courtney to return to your side, or when the rest of his family had filtered out the diner’s front doors, so you jumped when you heard his voice from beside you.

“You okay, sugar?” He was close enough that you could smell the tang of his cologne — softer than before, but still present — and feel the body heat rolling off of him in waves. You practically ached with the desire to move, to be touching him in some way, and the ferocious way this feeling roared to life within you startled you. Instead of giving in to that yearning to touch, you spun around and put some distance between you, eyes trained on him. You were desperate to find out what had changed, but when you gazed into Jake’s eyes. You just saw him, you just felt him. Nothing else had changed. But maybe nothing had needed to. High stakes situations meant you were constantly filtering out your emotions: keep, alter, discard; keep, alter, discard. You rifled through feelings often before you took a breath. It felt silly to question whether or not you’d simply overlooked or ignored your feelings for your best friend all along, but what else could be true? It wasn’t the way you felt about him that was new; no, it was the sudden impulse to do something about it that felt like an unscratchable itch.

You took a nearly imperceptible step closer, and Jake mirrored your actions. He said your name softly, cautiously.

But then, from behind: “Hey, is everybody else outside?”

Jamie’s voice was like cold water to the face. Still, you nodded, regaining the distance between yourself and Jake. You blinked a few times, as if you were hitting some sort of invisible reset button in your mind.

Keep, alter, discard.

You were silent, the entire ride back to base. You went through the motions of ‘see-you-next-time’’s and ‘take-care’’s, and stood in the parking lot until Robert’s truck was completely out of view.

“Thanks for today,” you mumbled, without looking up at Jake, then spinning on your heels to head back inside. There was still enough of the day that you could get your laundry done if you headed straight in and got to work, you just had to —

Jake’s hand on your wrist stopped you in your tracks. Your skin was tingling where his fingers were wrapped around you. Jaw set, you clenched, mouth forming a straight line. You were back on base now; you were back to being naval aviators. There wasn’t any room for these silly little schoolgirl feelings Jake inspired in you. You didn’t get to twirl your hair and bat your eyelashes and fall head over heels for your best friend. Instead, you got to linger somewhere painfully between ‘duty bound’ and ‘already in over your head.’

“What is it, Jake?” You hadn’t yet turned to face him, and that was an offense he didn’t take lightly to; though instead of waiting for you to rectify the situation, he does so himself. It was so very like him.

“Look at me, please.” The raw edge to his voice startled you into compliance.

You turned and regretted it immediately.

“What did I do?” His eyes were so soft, so entirely unguarded. A fear you didn’t recognize was plain on his face. “How can I fix it?”

“It’s nothing, Jake.”

But he was not convinced by your sighed syllables. “That’s bullshit.” Even the way he spoke was gentle, like he was afraid you’d evaporate from the sheer force of his words if he spoke too loudly.

“Something changed, after lunch, something… Something happened,” he continued. “Did Jamie say something to you? Court?”

A short burst of laughter punched out of you, but it sounded colder than you imagined, and Jake stepped back like you’d slapped him. Fear was replaced by irritation. You recognized that particular crease in his brow, but you resolved that this was good. Maybe he needed to hate you a little, so you could get over whatever was most definitely not happening here.

“What?” You laughed again, though this time it sounded more forced than before. “Did you expect me to go all weak-kneed because you saved me, Jake? Showed me what a real family was like? Would you like me to grovel with gratitude now, or can I save that for later?”

And you regretted the words the moment you said them, instantly spiraling. It was vicious and careless, but a low enough blow that it would end things — it would fix things, once and for all. But then that feeling from earlier returned, that burning at the back of your throat and the sting in your eyes. You understood now that what you were feeling was loss; you were preparing for the loss of your best friend. Prematurely, perhaps, but if you knew Jake at all, you knew it wasn’t that premature. He let the others think he was a jerk and a blowhard but, to you, he admitted to the real softness of his heart. The purity of it. It was you he sat beside, shaking with worry after Phoenix and Bob went down after a bird strike. You, he called when his niece got a case of the flu so bad she was hospitalized and he couldn’t see her. You, he pleaded with for help when he’d mouthed off too much in class and was pretty sure everyone hated him now. You knew everything he did was so startlingly fucking earnest. To question how genuine he was, to question his integrity, was the kind of wound that could only be delivered intimately. And you had done it so very well. A real stab and twist.

You mumbled an apology, just desperate to escape Jake and that angry, but somehow still pleading look in his eyes. It was when your back was turned that Jake finally spoke.

“God, I have to be so fucking stupid.”

“Jake, don’t,” you said, stilled but not turning back around. Your pride wouldn’t let him see you cry.

“No, I must be. I must be a complete fucking idiot to have misread all the signs that you… That we want the same thing.”

You didn’t dare speak at first; you couldn’t. And then, when you did, the ragged nature of your breathing startled even you. “And what is it that you think we both want?”

“More than this, Vee!” He sounded exasperated, and you didn’t need to face him to know that Jake had run a frustrated hand through his hair. “More than tiptoeing around each other and how we feel about each other, and trying to pretend like, like…”

“Trying to pretend like what?” The words ripped out of you like a sob and you couldn’t will yourself to be still anymore. Your body angled toward his like you were fucking magnetized.

“Trying to pretend like I am not in love with you.”

The words landed like lead around you, and you had to bite back a sob. When that wasn’t enough to muffle the sound, you slapped a palm to your mouth.

He had done it. He had taken that big thing, wrestled it into submission, and then laid it bare in front of you. But, more than that, he’d laid himself bare in front of you. He was more naked now than he’d ever been in any locker room. This was Jake at his most honest.

And you could feel yourself teetering so dangerously on the edge of giving in. Your breaths heaved in and out of you with great effort.

What if you ruined this? What if he left you? What if, what if, what if…

God, but what if you didn’t? What if, for once, something just fucking worked out, and someone just stayed? If there was anyone in your life who was capable of staying, wouldn’t it be Jake? Who else could it be?

Your resolve was so thin, so fragile; when you finally spoke, it was: “Jake, I’m scared.”

He took a step toward you. He could’ve closed the gap between your bodies in a singular stride, but he was giving you an out. One last chance to walk away. You remained anchored to your spot on the pavement. When he took the final step toward you, he had a palm raised to frame your face — he was shaking, but he rested his forehead against yours, too. And that was Jake, in a nutshell. Scared, but pushing forward. It was one of the things you admired, one of the things you loved most about him.

“Don’t be scared, Vee.” The plea was soft, softer than a prayer. “Don’t be scared. Whatever there is to figure out, we’ll figure it out together. We can make this work.”

“And if we can’t?”

“We’ll figure that out together, too.”

Even as your every survival instinct was telling you not to, even as all you wanted to do was run, you leaned in. The kiss was a little clumsy — he hadn’t been ready, you were too nervous. But then your hand found purchase against his chest, and one of his at your hip. And then you were practically tugging each other closer; your lips fitting together more seamlessly. How had you held out this long? How had you deprived yourself of this?

Jake retracted, eyes wild and bright when he looked at you. As his lips sloped into a grin, you knew something was coming.

“Ma’am, I’m not sure if you heard me, but…”

“Oh, you mean your little love confession?” you reveled in the flush that crept up his neck and the laugh that fled your now kiss-swollen lips as a result.

Though realization seemed to darken his expression, and his eyes left yours. The loss was one you felt immediately.

“What?”

Jake must have felt the tension begin to seep into your body, because his thumb began to press slow, soothing circles against your hip.

“Vee, I know you don’t need me to save you. You have never needed to be saved by anyone.” His brow furrowed a moment, and the hand still cradling your face dropped to meet the other at your hips. “But if you want to be… If you want someone else to help you carry all that weight on your shoulders. Well, that would be okay, too, alright?”

You weren’t certain, but when Jake met your gaze once again, you were almost positive there were tears welling in his eyes. The sight of his vulnerability rendered you speechless, so you nodded mutely, then managed a small ‘okay.’ It was instinctive for you to rest your forehead against Jake’s chest and allow his arms to envelope you in his embrace. More so than ever before.

You weren’t sure how long the two of you had been standing there when you finally spoke up again. “Hey, Jake?”

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“I love you.”

He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t need to. Instead, he dropped a kiss on the top of your head, and tightened his arms around you. And maybe, just maybe, you thought… this wouldn’t be so bad. Whether it was 20 minutes or 20 years, you wanted as much of Jake as he was willing and able to give.

Keep, alter, discard? You were definitely keeping this feeling.

#jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman x reader #hangman angst #hangman fluff

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throneofsapphics · 10 months

Text

old faces, part six

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret.

Warnings: mentions of death, drinking

Word Count: ~5k

A/N: here we go! I’m curious, would y’all prefer short chapters and more frequent updates? or keeping them around the same lengths?

series masterlist

Three weeks passed since the two of you left for Caraverre for the last time, and today they received the letter telling them you’d arrive a week from now. The month was spent eagerly awaiting your arrival.

You’d written a post note;

Ceri found a kitten, and she’s coming with us. I asked if she was certain about keeping her, and was hissed at twice.

“You’ll need to make a new friend,” she told Fleetfoot, currently dozing at her feet. He was about ten years old now, and not quite slowing down, but not as energetic as he was several years ago. Lazily lifting his head, he opened one eye, before laying back down, tucking his head between his paws. He didn’t have the best track record with cats, but hopefully the new kitten would be an exception. Or at least confident enough to stand up for herself.

“Another friend?” Rowan asked, door closing behind him. She handed him the letter.

“A cat,” he looked at Fleetfoot, then at her.

Aelin shrugged, “she’ll keep the mice away.”

“When she’s here,” he pointed out.

“Wherever she is.”

He couldn’t argue with that. Preemptively, they’d looked into a few different places the two of you could live - even if they hated every second of it. If they could at least sniff out the safest areas, they’d feel a bit better. Then, just make some subtle nudges. Would you let them participate in house hunting?

“How long do we have to stay at the castle?”

“Until we find a home.”

“When will that be?”

“After we find one.”

A groan of frustration, “How long does that take?”

“It could be days or weeks.”

She didn’t look pleased with the answer, but that was the truth. As far as homes went, you’d be relatively picky. Maybe a tad more than relatively. There was a running list in your mind.

High exposure to magic in the past.

Enough space for Ceri to have her chickens, not enough space for a Wyvern.

Walking distance from the city.

The criteria was high, but you hoped something would come around quickly. You were eager to create a home base in Orynth, to establish a safe place, a place that belonged to both of you. A castle could be a home, you supposed, but not for you. You’d never feel like you belonged there.

You meant what you said to Fenrys. You were never born to live in a castle, and as of now, you had no desire to. That’s something you couldn’t picture changing over the years.

Another thing you didn’t expect was Ceri being this adamant against living in the castle.

Scanning the cramped interior of the carriage, you saw Ceri still wrapped up in another dragon book - but her eyes were starting to droop. You let a small smile curve on your face, gazing out the frost-covered window. A few more hours, and you’d be passing the gates of Orynth.

Breathe, you reminded yourself, and watched as your breath condensed in front of you. Gods it was cold, both of you bundled up as much as you could. Still, better than being outside.

A soft snore, and Ceri was sleeping, body laid out across the bench, mitten covered hands still wrapped around the book, now clutched to her chest. It was a miracle she could read with those on. Quietly standing, you lifted the bench beneath you, dragging out a warm quilt, and tucking it around her shoulders. It’s likely she’d sleep all the way to the gates, if not to the castle door.

Even with the relative safety, you never slept on your trips if you could help it, catching just a few hours as needed. A small shield covered the cabin the entire journey, and after the driver said they were comfortable with the magic, you let it cover them as well. At least it managed to keep out some of the cold.

Soon enough, you passed through the city gates, then - the Castle loomed ahead of you. The carriage halted in front of the gates, a guard peered in through the window shooting a smile your way and waving you inside without another question.

You’d met him the last time you were here, and wished you’d at least remembered his name. You made a note to ask later. You were reluctant to wake Ceri, with her looking so peaceful, but you did, gently squeezing her shoulder.

“We’re here.”

She perked up, throwing the blanket off her, face pressed against the window. One hand swiped away the condensation, wiping again as her breath fogged the window. She wasn’t this excited earlier, pestering you about how long you’d have to be here. It was easy to figure out why, peeking over her to get your own look out the window. Three of her friends were waiting there, a good distance away from Rowan and Aelin, but you could spot them.

Your heart warmed.

“Make sure you at least say hello to your father,” you reminded her. She sent you an offended look, and you only raised your brows.

Rowan watched as Ceri jumped out of the carriage, her gaze going to his right. He knew exactly who was waiting for her over there. But, you shot her another look, and instead she sprinted right to you and Aelin, barreling into him.

He’d gotten used to that, to her throwing her entire body weight into him. The first time it caught him off guard. She was stronger than any ten year old had a right to be. He shouldn’t have been surprised, you used to do that when they met up, flinging yourself into his arms.

At a slower pace, you followed behind her.

Ceri hugged Aelin, and bounced on her feet, eyes darting behind them. Where he knew three other children were waiting, a respectful distance away.

“Go say hello to your friends,” he told her and she shot off without another word.

Aelin wrapped you into a warm hug, squeezing until you let out an oof, complaining you couldn’t breathe.

You stiffened as Rowan wrapped his own arm around your shoulders, squeezing you into his side. Had he never done that? It felt .. natural, he almost released you - momentary panic setting in that he might’ve made you feel uncomfortable, but you wrapped your arm around his waist, giving a quick squeeze back before stepping away. Nothing seemed tense or on edge, in fact you still looked perfectly relaxed. Thank the Gods.

Aelin linked her arm through yours, talking about the book you’d mentioned in your most recent letter. As soon as you scribbled in a line about it, that Aelin might like it, she set out to find it. Three bookstores in Orynth later, Aelin had located it and devoured it in two days.

Gods, he’d even found her reading it in the bath.

“I should send this to Dorian,” she announced. After closing the book, in a daze for ten minutes before she finally spoke. Rowan learned the hard way not to interrupt that phase.

“A trashy romance novel?”

“It is not,” Aelin hissed.

“So I didn’t find you in the bath …” Wind suffocated the fiery dagger thrown his way.

“Scandalizing the King of Adarlan is always amusing.”

“Does he even read them?”

Aelin shrugged.

Aelin and Rowan weren’t quite as subtle as they thought they were. They’d obviously done some research and snooping on houses before the two of you arrived, and you found it endearing and helpful.

“What do you think about this area?” Aelin traced her finger over a spot on the map.

“I haven’t exactly seen it,” you shot her a smile. “Tell me about it.”

A moment of shock, but she did tell you everything she knew. Neighbors close enough you could vaguely see them, but not hear them. That’s a plus in your book. Most of the surrounding neighbors already planted a few gardens. A few houses were up for sale, the owners eager to get rid of them. Apparently there’d been a big push to move into the city, into the hustle of people. It’s still close enough to the city, within walking distance of a few schools.

You noticed that although it’s on the outskirts of Orynth, it’s located closer to the castle. It makes sense, considering Ceri will still be spending plenty of time there.

“We should go take a look around.”

Aelin’s eyes lit up. You liked that.

“Tomorrow?” She offered.

“Tomorrow.”

“Are we inviting Rowan?”

That, you didn’t know how to answer. “I’ll leave it up to your discretion.”

Turquoise eyes fixed on you, and it took everything not to break her stare. “A girls trip sounds nice.” You tried not to let out a huge sigh of relief. “Besides, he’ll likely terrify everyone we come across.”

You offered a half-smile, your sentiments were the same. That might be pushing a line. Lines you were very careful to balance. Gods, you’d practically made neutrality an art form over the years.

You bundled up, pushing a pair of mittens into a protesting Ceri’s hands.

“Do you want frostbite?” You kept the exasperation out of your voice. She snatched them from you, shoving them onto her hands, as you wound a scarf around her neck. It wasn’t actively snowing, but Terrasen winters were brutal. A grinning Aelin waited for you just past the castle doors. The two of you each linked one of Ceri’s arms. A good strategy to keep her from sprinting off.

She led you through the city, you’d hit the sweet spot in the morning - less people on the streets, less to gawk and stare, and she knew every back road and alley. It might take you a while to get used to the city, considering none of the roads made any sense. Scratch that, it would. They all lead in nonsensical directions, sometimes looping back on each other.

“I’ll need a map for a few weeks,” you commented.

“I’ll get one for you.” Aelin grinned, leading you through the city gate, and to the right, tracing back along the wall. You figured it had been a twenty minute walk so far, and sure enough five minutes later the small houses began to grow, and Ceri began bouncing.

A few for sale signs, and you opened your senses - looking for spots of residual magic. Where some magic wielders might have lived for a while. The area was brimming. Beautiful and ancient.

This was as good of a time as any for a lesson.

“Ceri,” you caught her attention. The two of you had let her go, making her promise to stay within ten paces. She stopped and turned, bright green eyes staring at you, before bounding back towards you. “See what you can feel.”

Her eyes squeezed shut. “Eyes open.”

She scowled, but listened. It was a crutch, and although you let it help at first, you knew she didn’t need it anymore. Her eyes scanned the perimeter, fingers wiggling beneath the mittens.

“A lot of magic. Old.”

“What else?” A long pause, but you waited. Aelin was silent beside you, watching curiously. You kept your focus on Ceri.

“It’s mostly from humans.” She was looking back at the various fields, now overgrown with grasses. Farmers used to live here, in masses.

“Good,” you grinned at her. She looked nearly identical to Rowan, but that was your mother’s grin on her face. Ceri led the way this time, spotting the houses with “for sale” signs.

You could tell Aelin was brimming with questions, so you started. “It’s the first thing I learned as well.”

“Sensing magic?”

You hummed.

“Is there a big difference between Human and Fae magic?”

“It’s subtle,” you admitted. “But it’s a good thing to know.” To know who you’re facing.

“How does your magic work?” She probed.

“I have the basic shielding, myself and others,” that was the easy part to explain. “I use magic to put … intention into different materials,” you huffed a laugh. It always sounds ridiculous when you put it like that. In reality, it’s a bit more complex than that, but that’s the easiest way to describe it.

“It lets you sense other magic.”

“Most of us can,” you countered.

“But more than others.”

“I haven’t had a chance to compare,” it’s true, plus you had no desire to. Few knew the extent of your magic, and most of them were dead. You preferred it that way.

“Intention,” she murmured - thinking aloud. “Like that dagger?”

“I didn’t create it,” you said, slipping into neutrality, hand slowly drifting over your cheek. You avoided looking at her.

“Is there something else different about it?”

Yes, but nothing that has to be said. Still, this was an opportunity for you to show you trust her. Trust, of course, has to be earned, but giving a small show of it - even just providing a bit of extra information like this, could make a difference in the future. A small thread tugged at you, encouraging you to share. The Goddess who’d always guided you. Listening was the only option.

“That particular one was created by an ancestor of mine. I don’t know who. Those daggers are more common than you’d think, most don’t know what they are. Usually intended for … ritual magic, tattooing, scarring,” you still couldn’t meet her gaze. “They used to be common practice. I don’t know how that male got that specific one, and it had worried you more than you cared to admit. But he was dead, they were destroyed. “It’s an object a collector probably would’ve loved.”

“Are there a lot of those in circulation?”

“Two less now,” you said without thinking, wincing before clearing your throat. “Made by my family? Very few.” Five were made actually, and you knew where one was, but the other two were still lost. The next part you hesitated, but one extra tidbit couldn’t hurt. “It’s not exactly illegal to create them on the Southern Continent, but highly frowned upon.”

“Is that why you destroyed them?”

“No,” you couldn’t lie to her. Silence radiated between the two of you, her surprise palpable. Aelin was waiting, waiting to see if you’d keep speaking. That wall started to surge, to form itself around your mind, to block, block, block, but this time you pushed back against it, a firm hand lowering it. Not to the ground, but so you could see past it. Finally, you looked at her. No judgment, just curiosity.

“You don’t have to share, if you don’t want to.”

Did you want to? Not particularly, but that stupid little thread tugged again. Mentally, you muttered a sorry at calling it stupid.

“That one was special. It scars as intended, yes, but any blood it encounters … if the victim has magic, some of it will transfer inside of the blade. Just a trace, nothing someone would miss, but enough to have other uses.”

You’d had too much time to think about it, to think on what it could mean. If someone had a dagger with your magic, even a hint of it … a weapon with the ability to throw magic into other objects? It doesn’t limit itself either, it would’ve kept on building the more victims it crossed. If the wielder knew how to use it correctly, they could potentially use it to throw someone elses magic into another person. One of your family’s daggers, objects missing for too long, thrown into circulation just as a large upheaval occurred. Just as everything changed again. It’s not something that could be completely ignored, even from Terrasen. But, some things were your burden to carry. Consequences passed through time and generations.

“Good you destroyed them,” Aelin said quietly. A glance at her, and you knew her mind went the same way yours did.

“They were originally used for healing,” you felt the need to defend your family’s legacy. You didn’t want to give the impression that they’d created an object with the intention for harm.

“Sounds like it could’ve been a great tool.”

“It was, for some time.”

Gods, you were sharing too much now. Ceri saved the day, bounding back towards you and pointing to the house.

“It’s perfect.”

Not huge, but not small. From the outside, everything looked fine. Glancing at the price, you knew there had to be a catch. A bit of fixing up, you could handle. But if the roof was about to fall down? That would be a no.

You looked underneath the price, squinting your eyes. To a good home.

An older male ambled out, spying the three of you eyeing it.

As he led you through the house, you got the sense you were being interviewed, and answered all of his questions honestly, explaining what you were looking for in a home.

“What do you want it to become?”

Aelin looked at you from the corner of her eyes, but the male’s keen gaze, piercing brown eyes, were fixed on you.

“A home for my daughter and I,” Ceri clutched your hand tighter, glancing between you and the other male. “Somewhere her friends can visit,” you squeezed her hands, “and relax.”

“Have a lot of friends, do you?”

Ceri nodded, and started rambling about the things they’d done yesterday. He listened patiently, commenting in all of the right places, and you could tell Ceri was taken with him. He did have a grandfatherly aspect to him.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “There’s some mice sometimes, you’ll need a cat.”

“We have one,” Ceri piped.

“That’s perfect then,” he patted her shoulder. “It’s yours if you want it,” he looked up to you. Now, three pairs of eyes were on you.

“We’d be honored.”

The words felt … right. You’d learned the home had been in his family for generations, but he was the last of them. He didn’t need to tell you what happened to his family, but he said he’d been the last occupant of the home, and would be moving into the city with a friend.

“Are they a special friend?”

“Ceri,” you hissed.

“It’s alright,” he chuckled, looking at you with a hint of amusement. You replied with an apologetic grimace. “All friends are special.”

You squeezed your daughter's hand, telling her now is not the time. Thankfully, she kept her mouth shut. She’s at the age where a filter is a foreign concept to her, and any question seems appropriate.

Turn around would take about ten days. He’d left you all of the furniture, all of the kitchen ware, nearly everything, even a collection of what looked to be ancient books. It almost seemed too good to be true … but, this time, an instinct told you to accept something good happened. That it happened without a greater cost. That you were worthy of good things.

Aelin’s mind had wandered during the rest of your ‘girls trip.’ She half paid attention to the tour and conversations, enough so she knew what was going on if asked a question. But, her mind drifted to what you told her. She’d watched as you froze up, as you hesitated, but then told her anyway. As you showed trust in her. Trust with things you probably hadn’t told another person. There was still more to the story, but when she saw how uncomfortable you grew, common sense told her pushing wasn’t worth any potential knowledge she might acquire.

She was correct that someone from your bloodline created it. First the admission of the type of dagger, then how the ones your family created were different. Something a collector would’ve loved.

They were used for healing at some point, then stolen. At least that was what she picked up on. Her mind trailed to why you would’ve destroyed them, destroyed a family heirloom. Blood. Magic. Your magic - imbuing.

Victim’s magic store itself. Enough to have other uses.

Very few. Two less. There’s still more. And you don’t know where they are, or she has a feeling you would’ve tracked them down by now. Aelin had a decent read on you at this point, and she’s well aware you wouldn’t let something like that exist in the world.

Could those daggers have a history? Could she find mentions of them somewhere? You didn’t say relative, you said ancestor.

She needed to talk to Rowan.

Rowan could tell Aelin was nearly bursting at the seams with something. She waited until it was the two of them, you and Ceri already off to bed, before sharing.

He sat on the new wealth of information Aelin had learned. Moreover, he was shocked you’d shared all of that. It was more than you would’ve told him … would’ve told him in the past. There’s other reasons why you wouldn’t have shared that with him before. Still, if he’d asked the question would you have answered? A useless question, considering he wouldn’t ask you. He recognized you wouldn’t have told Aelin this if you didn’t expect he’d hear of it as well.

It wasn’t meant to be hidden from him, just to be heard second hand. It felt like a consolation prize.

“Is she worried about it?” He finally said, his pause giving the impression he was thinking the information over.

“Not excessively,” she shifted, stretching her legs out over his lap. Absentmindedly, thumb ran circles into her calf, loosening the tense muscles. A small purr left her chest. She was silent, contemplative, for a few moments. “There’s more to it. I know there is.”

“Aelin,” he paused his movements, catching her eyes, hoping to tell her not to dig into it. Based on the look in her eyes, that wouldn’t be a deterrent. “At least don’t push her. Let her come to you. It’s sensitive family history you’re digging into.”

At least that’s the impression he got. Aelin described how you seemed reluctant, emphasizing how she didn’t pry much. Speaking about your family had always been difficult for you, one of the topics you were most evasive about, and he doubted that changed too much over the years.

“I know.”

For the first few days, you struggled to figure out how to fill your time.

Last time you’d been here, everyone was snowed in for the majority of the time, but now there weren’t any restrictions or requirements to stay in the castle. Last time, your stay in Orynth felt temporary, even with the knowledge you’d be returning. It was also the first storm of the year, and an early one. Now you’d just hit december. Meaning Yulemas was quickly approaching. Peak season for you, to sell any kind of little crafts, but you didn’t have a space to work yet and working out of the castle didn’t feel right to you.

In the mornings and early afternoons, Ceri had lessons with the rest of her friends and a few teachers from the castle, so you took it on yourself to walk through the city, trying to memorize each street and back alley. That was a new kind of torture for you. Going alone made your explorations much longer, but it was important you learned how to find your way through without help, to not rely on anyone - besides the little map now becoming worn down and creased with how frequent you referenced it.

Making your way back to the main square, the jingling of bells and a few festive tunes reached you first.

A market.

Evergreen wreaths lined the streets, accented by bows, pinecones, and all sorts of little decorations. Stalls and stalls of vendors selling their wares, all of them braving the cold. A few had flasks on their hips, ones they took a few sips from time to time. You smiled to yourself, that’s certainly a way to help keep the chill out.

As it happens, you came across a woman selling little carvings, a list of different types propped up on her table. ‘Enchanted,’ had a line crossed through it. She wasn’t particularly busy, so you decided to be nosy.

“Enchanted ones already sold?”

She smiled ruefully, “aye, the normal provider’s temporarily out of business, don’t know when they’ll be back.” You realized she might be referencing you. “A female from Antica, now based in Terrasen, not sure where.”

“Are there others?”

Her mouth pressed into a tight line. “Not particularly good ones.”

“Out of those too?” Gods, you really were being nosy, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“If they don’t feel right or genuine, I try not to sell them. I like the ones that already have a bit of magic in ‘em.” She narrowed her eyes at another stall across the way. You nodded, and she seemed in the mood to share today. “The seller’s out of Antica, don’t know how she got here, but it’s lowered the price.” She was speaking of you.

“The price?”

“I used to import.”

“Oh.”

Maybe you should’ve kept track of where some of your work ended up.

“I try to keep the prices fair,” she sighed and leaned back in her seat, balancing it on two legs. “For the ones who look like they need it.” That, you could appreciate. “Makes me sell out quicker.”

You hummed, maybe you could make a few before the seasons up. “I heard a rumor,” you started hesitantly, and her head tilted, eyes curious. “That she’ll be back in business, have something ready about a week before Yulemas.”

Oh, you had her attention now. “Do you know her?”

A small nod. “You don’t?”

A shake of her head, but you’d caught her attention. “Always dealt with someone in the middle. A bit annoying,” you tried not to wince, “but safer for her that way, I can understand.”

“I can put you in touch.” It can’t be that hard to pretend you’re actually the one in the middle.

“Really?” She looked skeptical, and for good reason.

Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a small trinket. A small amulet, one of the last things made before you left Caraverre, and a design you hadn’t used before, but if she’s sold some of your things, she should recognize it as genuine. Carefully, you handed it to her, watching as she examined, eyes squinting to look at the tiny carvings.

“She won’t have much stock, and not til week or so before the holiday, but I can put you in touch and see what she has.”

“Even a few would make a difference,” she reached out and handed it back to you, gingerly. Almost like she was holding a treasure.

“Keep that one for yourself. I’ll come back and let you know.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

Based on your smile, and the way she undid the clasp, tucking the small necklace inside her coat, you knew she would. Keep it and not sell it. You’d need to wait a few more days before returning, maybe even up to a week. Just to give the impression you actually were someone in the middle.

Feeling in high spirits, a good deed done for the day, you headed back to the castle, hoping there would only be a few wrong turns this time.

Aelin reached an arm around pulling you into her side, a hug of sorts, but her arm lingered. Naturally, your head dropping to her shoulder. She squeezed further, and didn’t move. Aelin tugged you closer. Rowan didn’t look uncomfortable when you stole a look at him. In fact something like a smile ghosted across his face. You realized how much you’d missed touch and affection. Platonic touch and affection, just among friends. Reya had always been a big hugger, the two of you cuddling up next to each other on the couch.

Something you’d never even thought might be necessary. But now that it was here … you found yourself clinging to it like a lifeline. Touch starved enough that even the smallest affection feels like a blessing, like a gift from the gods.

Aelin sighed, and you relaxed your body further, letting the wine send you loosen you, giving yourself permission to feel this. To bask in this momentary peace.

“You’re much better at this than Rowan.” An indignant huff from the offended male. “Take notes,” Aelin teased him, drawing a laugh from you and a half-hearted glare from the other male.

“And you’ve had a lot of wine,” you countered Aelin, but didn’t move. She’d initiated it … and if she felt uncomfortable, you’d let her move away. Maybe you should, maybe this is crossing some invisible line the wine haze is keeping you from recognizing, but it felt so right.

“Am I a better cuddler than Fenrys?”

This time, you did laugh. Aelin is definitely competitive. “I wouldn’t know.”

She seemed pleased, and matter of fact, so did Rowan. You’re imagining it, for certain. In the morning you’d swear he never looked like that. Swear it was a figment of your imagination.

As much as Fenrys made jokes about it, this hadn’t happened with him. Right now, you didn’t want it to, maybe you wanted to claim her as your official cuddle-friend. It’s the wine. Aelin wasn’t yours to claim, not in any way. Besides, you don’t believe in belonging to others. You belong to yourself, and that’s it. That’s the way it’s always been, and how it will always be.

A part of you still lingered, still wondered what it would be like to have a mate. To forge a bond so deep, such a permanent and everlasting connection, one that could cross worlds and eternity, to love and be loved so deeply that separation was unbearable - that separation would tear your soul into tiny bits.

Not the love of a mother and daughter, the love of two people meant to bind their souls together. Meant to claim each other equally.

Could a bond like that be forged, or was it some kind of gift? Given just to those deemed worthy of it?

It’s the wine.

The odds are you’ll never know, and there’s no use in wasting time imagining it.

taglist: @holb32 @moonlightttfae @cassianswh0reeee @reidishh @fussel9913 @abbyrose13 @brandywineeeee @acourtofbatboydreams (sorry it didn't let me tag everyone! you can comment on this or any others if you want to be added!

#rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin x reader #throne of glass fic #rowan whitethorn x reader #aelin galathynius x reader #rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x y/n #throne of glass x reader #rowan whitethorn x y/n #aelin galathynius x y/n

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yoonieper · 2 years

Text

Snow Blanket | MYG

The warmest place is in your arms.

❅ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

❅ Genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut

❅ Rated: C for Cozy

❅ Warnings: Yoongi is a cutie boy in luv, y/n is deep in her feels as well, very fluffy, yoongi’s a little subby, handjob, oral (m + f receiving), a little hair pulling, unprotected sex (don’t even think about it <3)

❅ Word Count: 9.5k

❅ Prompt: “Snowed in and huddled for warmth.”

❅ Summary: Yoongi decided to join you on your ski trip and as a snow storm starts moving in, you retreat back to your cabin, only to find out the heater’s broken. With the storm blowing over and the temperatures beginning to plummet, it only makes sense to search for warmth in every possible way.

❅ Thank you: Thank you so much @jamaisjoons once again for the banner~

❅ Now Playing: Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex

❅ Author’s Note: Another one that was part of an event that was meant to be posted a year ago~ Didn’t get to edit this as much as I wanted to, but please enjoy this softness, this literally melted my heart tryna write this so I hope you guys like it! I love Yoongi so much y’all don’t even understand 🥲

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

As soon as the door closed behind him, Yoongi sighed with relief knowing that you both made it back to the cabin alright. The storm seemed to come out of nowhere. You two had been hiking up the mountain when the flakes began to fall and things quickly turned from bad to worse the closer you got back up to the cabin. You had just narrowly avoided getting caught in a blizzard.

Yoongi turned his attention to you, who was smiling ear to ear as you started taking off your ski gear. Your smile made everything worth it. He was freezing, sore, and hurt all over, but he would do anything to see you smile like that.

Some might wonder how exactly Min Yoongi ended up coming on a ski trip with just you. Nothing about this screamed like something he would be interested in. He couldn’t ski, he hated the cold, a cabin with spotty Wi-Fi?! It sounded more like a nightmare than a vacation. There was only one thing that made this trip worth it and he was looking right at it.

“Ok I admit, maybe we should have left sooner, but still, didn’t you have a good time?!” You smiled and Yoongi felt his heart flutter.

Yep, he was doing this all for you.

Originally your ski getaway was planned with all your friends in mind, but for various reasons your friends started backing out one by one. They were all legitimate reasons as they all were just as excited as you were about the trip, but Yoongi would see the way your face would fall each time one of them would let you know they couldn’t make it. It eventually got to the point that if you still wanted to go it would have to be a solo trip, and he knew you would never end up doing that.

Yoongi was never interested in going and you knew that skiing wasn’t really his thing either so you never invited him originally. As your friend he knew how excited you were for this ski trip and how much it hurt to think that you were going to have to cancel it.

He was a simple man and seeing that look on your face had him somehow rationalizing that it would be fun to go with you. He was hesitant up until he saw the excitement on your face when he told you that he would go with you.

That’s how he somehow found himself on top of this mountain with you. Alone.

To be honest it never really sank in that he was going to be alone with you on this trip until you both made it to the cabin. The whole trip up just felt like normal times, you did karaoke in the car, you played landmark bingo with the boards you brought, you chatted about life and philosophy like you both always seemed to do. The entire time, you were either smiling or laughing and by the time you guys made it up north you both complained about how much your cheeks hurt. When you pulled up and started getting settled before your ski adventures the next day it really slapped him in the face on the fact that it was just the two of you.

In some parts of his mind he was excited, it felt like he was on a trip with his girlfriend. The other side of him knew the anguish this was causing him, knowing the fact that it was not the reality.

You’ve been friends for what’s felt like forever and Yoongi’s also liked you for what feels like forever. He never tried to ask you out because he knew it would be pointless, you didn’t see him like that. He’s seen the guys you would date and nothing about him was like them. It was hard to accept, but eventually he was able to come to terms with the reality. Asking you out would run the risk of ruining the friendship he cherished so much, so instead he tried to keep his feelings at bay while still being your supportive friend.

It was always easier said than done.

Yoongi moved over toward the table and unzipped his coat, you didn’t miss the way he flinched. Your brows immediately furrowed with concern.

“Yah wait, you said it wasn’t that bad!” You exclaimed, immediately going to help him take off his jacket, revealing his blue cozy sweater.

“It’s not, just a bit sore is all.” He grumbled and you rolled your eyes.

“Stop lying…” You sighed. If you were paying attention you would have noticed the way Yoongi’s face got slightly red seeing how attentive you were.

You helped him take off his helmet and goggles and watched as his long dark fluffy hair flopped all over his face and his glistening eyes stared down into yours. You could get lost in them, the dark orbs always containing so much mystery.

It was only then that you realized how close you had gotten and you awkwardly shuffled back.

“Anyway, did you want me to make you anything? After all that I’m sure you’re probably hungry.” You already started moving toward the kitchen.

“I can cook us something…” Yoongi was heading toward you but you stopped him in his tracks.

“Nope, not today. As much as I love your cooking, you’re obviously sore so you should sit back and rest while I make you something.”

“But–”

“No buts! Sit at the table and I’ll have something for you soon.” He felt his heart flutter again. It was stuff like this that despite your contrasting personality, Yoongi found it impossible not to like you the way he did.

He didn’t object and sat down at the little table. With the layout of the little cabin he was able to talk with you as you continued making dinner. Yes this was dinner. The sun had started going down as you both hiked back up the mountain after your ski adventure for the day. By the time you were serving the mul naengmyeon the sun was nowhere to be seen.

Yoongi marveled at the dish in front of him. It only dawned on him how much he never realized you could cook. If ever given the opportunity to cook for each other, Yoongi always seemed to take the lead, he didn’t mind and honestly liked cooking, but wow…

As you set the bowl down you watched earnestly as he took a bite and the way his face lit up at the taste. Instantly your pride went through the roof.

“Is it good?”

Yoongi just nodded as he took another spoonful. You melted at the confirmation, something about Yoongi saying your food was good made you feel out of this world.

“See I told you you could trust me with dinner tonight~” You smiled as you started eating the dish as well.

“I’m surprised, ever since Tae said that–” You instantly shushed him. Yoongi knew about the little incident that happened that one time you cooked for Tae at your place, and how he basically recounted a terrible series of events that led to you almost setting your entire apartment on fire.

“I’m not that terrible, it was just a bad day. Most of the time I make things like this!” You held up your bowl and you saw the judgemental look in his eyes.

“I’m serious!” You sighed and you saw Yoongi slowly start laughing, turning from a chuckle, to the point where he was whipping his eyes from tears.

You just watched wondering what could possibly be so funny.

“What?” You whined and he tried pulling himself together.

“Sorry, you’re just cute~” It definitely didn’t register what he said. It was one of those moments that he didn’t even really realize he said it aloud. He thinks you’re cute all the time but seeing you flustered trying to prove that you’re a good cook even after the amazing meal you gave him for some reason had tears spilling from his eyes.

You, however, definitely paid attention to the endearing compliment. You tried not to let it get to you, he could have meant it in a friendly, endearing way, but your body had a mind of its own and your face was warming up.

You quickly needed to change the subject before it got weird.

“Don’t tease me! What about you huh? Do I need to bring up what happened merely hours ago?” You retorted and it was enough to finally get him to stop laughing but he still had that stupid, yet adorable, smile on his face.

“Do you know how many videos I got of you falling on your face?!” You laughed

Today’s been a day to say the least. The minute you made it to the ski lodge you realized how much Yoongi couldn’t ski. You figured the fact that he offered to come with you, he had been down a slope or two before and could at least make it down fine, but boy were you in for a surprise.

Considering how sore Yoongi was should be enough proof that it didn’t go as planned. He was terrible, bad, the worst you’ve literally ever seen. That didn’t stop you from having a great day.

You had an amazing time actually, more fun than you could have had with any of your other friends who you knew could ski.

Your camera roll was now full of pictures and videos of Yoongi going down the baby slopes with all the little kids laughing at him as he kept falling down.

You even at some point tried to teach him, but by the time you finally started heading back, not much progress had been made. Lucky for you though this was the first day of your little ski adventure out of the 4 days you planned to spend the day at the slopes, so you have a tiny amount of hope you can help him out.

“Very funny, I know I’m terrible.” He chuckled, your words didn’t hurt him at all. It was simply a fact and your teasing didn’t stop him feeling good that at the very least he provided you with decent entertainment for the day.

You didn’t even get to do much skiing today because you were focused on making sure he didn’t end up tumbling further down the mountain somehow. It was only toward the end of the day that you went up to the expert slope and made it all the way down. You were good– certainly not good enough to go professional, but you did know how to do a few tricks on the jumps.

“Yoongi, why did you even come with me if you couldn’t ski?” You questioned, curious.

“It was for you. I mean, I saw how sad you looked when you thought you were gonna have to cancel the trip. Besides, I thought it was easier than it looked so I thought it could be fun.”

Your face was warm. “Did you have fun?” You wondered out loud.

“Of course I did. I may be bruised all over but it was fun… spending time with you.”

See Yoongi had this one little detail that always made it 10x harder to keep his feelings at bay. He sucked at lying, or really more so, he was terrible at not being honest. He was terrible with feelings and expressing himself, but when the words do come, they come and don’t stop.

Part of him wondered if you knew he liked you. He sometimes wanted to ask to see if he was being as obvious as he thought he was, but he was always scared of the result. Either you weren’t picking up on the signals, or you were picking up on the signals but were purposefully choosing to ignore them.

The latter scared him too much to ever see if you knew.

As much as Yoongi tried to convince himself that he already knew he wasn’t your type and that he was at peace knowing that you would never like him like that, he knew, his subconscious knew, that it was all bullshit. He wasn’t at peace with it, he wasn’t at all.

It was moments like these where he liked to pretend. Some may call him delusional, but he liked to think that you liked him back.

In his little fantasy he was currently on this romantic winter getaway with his girlfriend. You two were at the table bantering as you always do, eating the delicious meal you made. Later you were going to help him ease the soreness he felt all over, making sure to kiss him everywhere it hurt. Then tonight, probably after midnight, one bedroom lamp was on as he kissed you while the storm blew outside, searching for warmth that only each other could provide. He would love you, feel you, confess all over again how much you mean to him as he was buried deep inside you.

But that was just a fantasy and he was in fact very delusional.

What was very real though was how cold it currently was in the cabin.

While you were in awe at the fact he just admitted he liked spending time with you, Yoongi looked around quickly for any signs of the thermostat but then he was reminded how shitty this cabin was.

“Do you know where the thermostat is?” He finally asked you. You looked around as well and had just as much luck as he had. Either you were both blind or this place didn’t have one, and judging by the freezing temperatures the heat wasn’t working either.

You sighed. “I should have known with how cheap this place was that there would be some issues…”

In truth you had originally planned to stay at the snow lodge that you went skiing at earlier but after your friends canceled you were a bit too hasty in canceling your reservation. It was winter and a prime time for families, friends, everyone really to hit the slopes. All the rooms were booked when you found out that Yoongi was coming with you. You thought you found the next best option, a cabin right down the street at an amazing price.

There always was a catch in situations like this...

It wasn’t this cold yesterday when you arrived so you knew something had gone wrong. This was at the worst time, the snow storm outside only seemed to pick up speed as the minutes passed.

Fast forwarding a few breakdowns, a couple of phone calls, etc etc etc, and the heating was going to be fixed!

Tomorrow…

Yep that’s right. The storm had gotten so bad the company told you that they wouldn’t be able to come by and fix it till the morning. What made it worse was that by now all the heat that still remained when you came back was escaping, leaving it almost as cold as if you were outside.

You and Yoongi had put back on your coats, hats, and gloves and were sitting on the couch trying to let everything sink in. This definitely isn’t how you wanted this trip to go...

“I’m sorry…” You were shivering but you felt like your voice would have been shaky anyway. Your thoughts had spiraled down to the point that you had convinced yourself that this was all your fault. Yoongi didn’t even want to come to this trip with you originally, maybe it would have been better to–

“Don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault, just the shitty owners who didn’t fix the heat before we came here.” He tried to reassure you, but he could still see that look on your face.

Yoongi looked around wondering what he could do, he wasn’t really the best in situations like this, but a quick glance over at the firewood that sat in the corner of the living room had a solution coming to mind.

Yoongi got up, feeling the way your eyes followed him, as he grabbed a few logs.

“I may not be able to ski, but at least I can start a fire.” He smiled at you and he saw the curiosity. Yoongi was the last person you would expect to somehow pull out and say they knew how to make a fire, but a couple of camping trips with his family when he was younger was enough for suddenly the fireplace to be filled with bright oranges and yellows flaming over the logs.

He did it. He was always the handy one.

You stared in amazement as he came back to you with a giddy smile on his face.

“At the very least we won’t freeze to death tonight~” He chuckled and he was happy to hear you laugh along with him.

“I’m sorry, how long have I known you and I had no idea you could do that!” You were still shocked. Yoongi watched you earnestly as he saw that light that he loved so much about you start to come back. And to think this was all because of him~

“Well you know, I’m more than what I seem~ If you ever need to know how to survive in the wilderness for a few days, I’m your guy.” You laughed again and Yoongi could have sworn he heard his heart explode.

Suddenly he was aware of everything. The mood lighting that the fireplace provided and the fact he was alone with you with his very real feelings for you.

In his fantasy he had pulled you close the minute he realized you were cold. You both were laughing about the situation and making the most out of these unfortunate events. No matter what he imagined, there was always one thing that all of them had in common, you were his.

‘Remember she doesn’t like you like that,’ he tried to tell himself as you smiled and tucked your hair behind your ear. Usually the nagging voice that would remind him was all he needed, but today… today…

“I guess on the bright side, the power still works– we could watch a movie if you would like!” You suddenly said, snapping him out of it. Stop doing this to yourself, but his heart didn’t know how to listen.

Yoongi was a little too out of it to pick a movie with you so you took it upon yourself to be in charge of that. He didn’t catch the title nor your explanation of the plot, but he could tell a few minutes in that it was a romance movie about the upcoming christmas holiday. It was a feel-good, happy movie, something you might find on hallmark this time of year.

Usually movies like these were cringey and he would have spent the whole duration laughing about it, but one look over, he found you completely interested in it while you were nibbling on the popcorn you brought, and suddenly he couldn’t find it in himself to say anything bad about it.

You both were practically cuddling while the movie played. The fireplace warmed you both up a little bit, but you were still bundled up in your jackets and snuggled up together under the blankets you brought from your place. They were all thick but not that big so you had to huddle up close to keep warm.

Very close.

Your arm was right next to his and he could feel each time you’d reach for the popcorn.

Yoongi tried his best to focus on the movie but… well that wasn’t working out very well. You didn’t help his situation whatsoever. He knew you probably didn’t do it on purpose, or at least with the intention of making him flustered beyond belief, but you started leaning in. You rested your head on his shoulder, smiling and giggling at the movie, like this wasn’t affecting you at all.

The urge to pull you closer was getting harder and harder as the seconds rolled by. What he would do to get you to look at him like the girl did in this hallmark movie. When was it going to be his turn…

He started getting a little angry just thinking about it. An amazing girl was put into his life and he can’t do anything about it unless he wanted to ruin the friendship he’s cherished so much. It was cruel…

Yoongi was so out of it he didn’t even realize that the movie had ended until you said something.

“Are you sleepy yet?” You asked, already getting up to stretch.

He finally came back. “No, not really…” He was the furthest thing from being tired.

“Really? I’m surprised~” You chuckled, another attempt to tease him.

“Are you?”

“A little, but I could stay up a little longer.” You started pulling his hand to make him stand up.

“What’re you doing?”

“I was going to get ready for bed and you should too before you end up passing out. We should probably stay out here by the fire. I can get us some pillows and things like that.” You started leading him to where your rooms were.

“Meet back in 5?” You said and Yoongi could only nod, dumbstruck at what was happening. He was sleeping with you…

Yoongi dragged his feet into his room and mindlessly changed into more relaxing clothes before putting back on his heavy coat and hat. This wasn’t happening was it…

Yoongi came out of the room and was shocked to see you already standing in the living, a fur blanket laid across the floor, a couple of pillows laid around for comfort, the fire was still burning brightly as you were scrolling wondering what movie to watch next.

Oh shit. He wasn’t going to make it through this.

You turned toward him once you heard him start to walk over.

“Ooh, you’re back~ You ready?” You asked sweetly, like nothing about this was affecting you the way it was him.

What he wanted to say was no, but he found himself shyly nodding before taking a seat right next to you on the floor. Oh how much he wanted to pull you close…

Apparently you were a mind reader because you leaned your head against his shoulder right after you pressed play. The look of shock on his face was priceless— one for the history books.

If he couldn’t concentrate on the movie before, he was in Alaska at this point. No where in the room, he’s not even in his body anymore. His heart was practically beating out of his chest and he wondered if you could hear it.

Never once had he thought about confessing before, but the tingles that surged through his body made it impossible to just try his best to bury these feelings. It was hardly 10 minutes into the movie and his whole body was on fire, there was no way he was just going to ignore this…

“Y/—“ Yoongi looked over and he could already see your eyes fluttering. Cat got his tongue in an instant, instead it was replaced with a fondness he could never describe.

“I thought you said you weren’t that sleepy…” he smiled.

“I’m not… you’re just comfortable,” you sighed. His heart flipped again.

“Alright, time to go to bed.” Yoongi reached over for the remote, turning off the tv. He laid the both of you down, pulling up the fur blankets you brought.

The only sounds now were the snow blowing outside and the fire crackling. It was soothing. He didn’t even hesitate this time pulling you close, wanting to feel your warmth. He tried to convince himself it was purely so he can be a little warm tonight, but that would be a lie. His face warmed at the position— you were spooning, he was spooning you…

Yoongi immediately felt you tense up slightly, but you quickly relaxed in his arms, almost like this was something you did all the time. You both didn’t say anything, but just enjoyed each other’s presence.

With the fire crackling in the background, its soft light the only thing filling the room as the snow storm raged outside. The mood was so cozy as you both cuddled by the fire and after a day spent skiing, you would think it wouldn’t take much for sleep to finally come to Yoongi, but he never felt more awake than he was right now.

He should have thought about this a little more, but you were so close and he thought you were going to head straight to sleep but—

You shifted slightly, it wasn’t much at all, yet the slight movement of your hips was enough to get something to start stirring inside him. Your ass was right there and the leggings you were wearing weren't making things any easier.

You shifted around a little more, trying to find that comfortable spot you were looking for, sleeping on the floor was not making things any easier. You were a little shocked to suddenly feel a hand on your waist.

“Y/n can you not move around as much?” He said breathlessly. You hadn’t done much, but he knew if you didn’t stop things were going to get awkward.

You turned around and nodded.

“Can you come a little closer? I'm still feeling a little chilly.” You asked and as much as he knew this would not end well he still followed your request. He just hoped you might fall asleep soon because the minute he inched closer he knew it was only a matter of time before he knew his body would betray him.

Despite that, he loved holding you like this. It was so easy to pretend this way, you in his arms so cozy, so warm. If only it didn’t take such dire circumstances for you both to end up in this position.

If you were his like he wished, how easy would it be to pull your leggings down just enough so he could take you like this.

The thought was dangerous and something he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about considering your position and how much he was trying not to pop a boner. But if the thoughts in his head weren’t enough you still wouldn’t stop moving, you moved your hips just ever so slightly that he felt this close to losing his mind.

Oh how much he wanted to move as well, either further into your warmth or out this room so he could calm himself down again.

His cheeks burned brighter than the sun because at this point he knew you could probably feel just how much he wanted you.

And you did, you were still trying to find that right spot when you moved your hips a little to suddenly feel something poking your thigh. For a second you wondered if Yoongi had left his phone in his pocket, but you were sure you didn’t feel it earlier.

It didn’t take long to guess what else that might be when you moved a little again and felt Yoongi’s fleeting grip on your waist get tighter anytime you moved back a little.

Suddenly the freezing winter chill that filled the cabin was not enough to keep your skin from burning.

You pondered what you should do. Should you just try to ignore it or do you say something? In the end you found yourself turning around so you were facing him and was incredibly endeared to see how flushed he seemed.

He stared at you for a little while, both trying to rack his brain for the right words to say and also because you looked so pretty like this. The warm flames illuminated your face and made your eyes sparkle, and you looked so cute with your hat on. His heart was beating out of his chest because he knew the reason you turned around.

“I’m so sorry…” Were the first words that came to mind. He’s made things so much more awkward than they needed to be.

“Why are you sorry?”

“You know exactly why… you kept moving and now I’ve made things weird.” He couldn’t even look you in the eyes he was so ashamed.

Suddenly he felt your hand on his cheek making him look straight at you. “In that case it should be me apologizing to you.”

“You don’t need to be sorry.” Yoongi said while looking at you like you were crazy for even suggesting such.

You giggled. “Maybe I shouldn’t then. Is that really all it takes to get you going?” You lightly teased as you rubbed your thumb over his pinkening cheeks.

If he didn’t know any better, he would think you’re flirting with him.

“No, not normally— you do things to me.” Yoongi didn’t even realize he essentially confessed to you until he noticed your shocked expression. If things couldn’t get any worse, somehow he made things even more weird.

He was at a loss for words as his eyes fixated on your expression. A concoction of emotions all swirled around in his head, too many thoughts and feelings he wanted to say to you in that moment. But all he could do was stare into your eyes as his cheeks grew warmer and warmer, hotter than the fire that was burning right next to him.

This wasn’t at all what he pictured confessing to you would be like and this isn’t at all how wanted it to go.

“I—I’m sorry I—“ He couldn’t face you anymore, his eyes instantly filling with worry that he just messed everything up. He pulled away from you, his gaze traveling from you to the ceiling up above before he slowly turned away from you completely to stare at the dancing flames.

“Yoongi—“

“Please… please just forget everything that happened today.” He pouted. His heart was beating so fast, did he really just do that? Was he seriously about to lose his friend?

Silence passed for a little while and all Yoongi wanted to do was go to fall asleep so he could pretend for a little while this never happened.

He’s made things so awkward you probably would never want to talk to him after today. Like who in their right mind confesses like this? It’s not like he meant to, but of all times his feelings finally managed to come out, it just had to be when he was embarrassingly hard.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck—

Yoongi was wallowing in self deprecation when suddenly he felt the blanket tug before you could feel you move a little closer. He was about to question it when you moved again so you were pressed against his back and your hands were snaking around his waist.

“Y/n– w-what are you doing?” He panicked as your hand came up to lightly caress his arm.

“I wanted to help you silly…” You smiled, though he couldn’t see it.

Yoongi had no way of processing your words before he felt your hand travel further down so it was resting right where the waistband of his sweatpants were and you moved even closer so he felt your lips ghosting over his skin.

“You don’t have TOoo–” He wasn’t even able to get that out before your hand slipped underneath the waistband and you started stroking his thigh.

“We could pretend like tonight never happened– I can leave the room if that makes you more comfortable.” His words were saying one thing but his body was crying out for you to move closer to where he wanted you.

“Mmmmm is that really what you want though?” Your voice was so sultry and made his face burn because, fuck you’re so hot.

Yoongi was about to deny it, say it was really ok if you really didn’t want to do this, but then your hand gently brushed over his cock and suddenly couldn’t think like a normal person. You didn’t stop either, immediately noticing the instant reaction you got out of him you let your fingers lightly trace over the outline of his hard on.

“Ohhhhhh, fuck–” He whined, bucking into your hand, desperately wanting even more friction.

You could feel it too, precum had already stained his underwear and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself at his reaction as your fingers focused on the tip, tracing over it lightly before steadily adding a little more pressure, just enough that he thought he was going to lose his mind.

“Only… only if you want to…” He was grasping at straws trying to stay level headed.

“Alright, how about this…” You leaned closer so you were right by his ear “Yoongi I really want this, want you closer, want to play with your pretty cock until you cum all over my hand. Maybe you might even let me fuck you as well?”

As you pulled away things got very quiet before suddenly Yoongi let go of the blanket and his hand found the one you had in his pants. With a shaky breath he guided your hand up and helped you slip it past the waistband of his boxers so you could finally touch him like he wanted.

“Please…” He begged and you were in no mood to deny him. You grabbed onto his length and slowly stroked it, quickly getting a reaction out of him.

“Ohhhh, fuck– mmmm–” He sighed and you couldn’t help but smile. Your friend was a lot more vocal than you pictured him in a situation like this, he was normally so quiet and soft spoken, it was a pleasant unexpected surprise.

You pulled your hand away quickly and Yoongi was this close to going insane when he quickly figured out why you pulled away as you slipped your hand back under his boxers.

Your soft palm was wet this time, making it so much easier to move over his length.

“Isn’t this better?” You asked and Yoongi couldn’t even answer. Your pace had quickly increased, almost becoming too much too quickly. Instead of saying anything, he reached behind him so his hand grabbed onto your thigh.

He wanted to touch you, wanted to kiss you so badly, but the angle made it impossible. He made due instead by grabbing onto the only part of you he could reach.

“So good… don’t stop, please.” He pleaded. What if he woke up and this was all some dream that played in his horny mind as he slept cuddled up next to you? It almost felt like it had to be, you touching him like this? This can’t be real.

Just thinking about how disappointed he would be if that turned out to be the case, it only made him cherish any pleasure he felt even more.

His entire body burned and it was suddenly way too hot to be wearing this thick coat along with being smothered underneath the fur blanket. Oh how much he just wanted to get naked with you.

Yoongi could have cried at the way your hand would pump him so quickly before you would swirl it around the tip, fascinated by all the precum leaking profusely.

It was a little embarrassing, but it didn’t take much for him to get close.

It had been so long since he’s found himself in this position and with you nonetheless, made it even harder to try and enjoy this as long as possible.

He eagerly rutted into your hand, matching with your own strokes, a combination that made his toes curl in his fuzzy socks.

“Fuck, Y/n…” He panted.

You could tell he was getting close, his grip on your thigh growing tighter and tighter and his thrusts into your hand growing more frantic. You thought about finishing him off like this like you had planned, maybe you could have pulled the blanket out of the way and you could have watched him make a mess all over your hand and even on the floor probably, but you had other plans.

You pulled away once again and this time he whined as he hurriedly caught your hand before you got too far.

“No, please, please, I’m so close–” He begged, but you quickly stopped him when you pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck.

“It’s just–” You wiggled your hand out of his grip and you got up and moved so you were hovering over him. He turned to look up at you and it was then did you realize how flustered you made him.

His cheeks were so red and despite the freezing temperatures he was clearly sweating. You couldn’t help but smile, he was so pretty like this.

“Want you to finish in my mouth…” Your expression was so soft, like you didn’t just say what you did. At this point he had no more words left, instead just nodding eagerly because fuck was that hot.

He helped you pull his sweatpants and boxers down a little, just enough where his cock was springing free and it lightly hit his stomach. You couldn’t help but ogle, the fire was the only light in the room, but even that didn’t stop your mouth from watering.

Oh you needed him.

You bent down and stroked it lightly before making quick work and taking as much as you could.

“Ohhhhhhh…” He sighed in ecstasy, you noticed his tightening grip on the soft fur blanket you were meant to be sleeping on. You tried your best to pay attention to all his mannerisms, his soft sighs of pleasure, the adorable way his face was scrunched up as he moaned your name.

It made you so eager to please.

You made it sloppy, you let your tongue explore every curve and vein, even traveling down to run over his balls, earning you a surprised gasp that turned into the prettiest groan you’ve ever heard, before taking him once more. You quickened your pace and relished in his moans for you, they were pained and desperate and he didn’t even need to say that he was close.

You suddenly felt a hand on the back of your head. He wasn’t pushing you down, but you smiled to yourself in your head because why was this man so cute.

“Cumming, cumming, I’m–” That was all the warning you got before he groaned as he spilled into your mouth, the minute you felt a drop touch your tongue you took him as much as you could, slowly you bobbed your head helping him work through his orgasm.

He was so pretty like this.

You eventually pulled away, but first you couldn’t help yourself, running your tongue along that thick vein, right up to the tip, making him whine from overstimulation, so you pulled away.

You finally sat up and looked at him.

If you thought he was flushed before, his cheeks were somehow even redder and the hair that was sticking out of his hat was sticking to his face with how hot you managed to make him.

You couldn’t help but smile as you watched him try and slow his breathing back down.

You happily moved back up so you were laying next to him.

“W–Why?” He asked breathlessly.

“Why what?” You cheesed, a little too busy staring at his pretty features up so close to fully realize what he was asking.

He turned over to face you. “Y/n you know exactly what I’m talking about… why’d you help me?” His eyes were pleading for an answer and you wondered how come he wasn’t seeing the obvious.

“Why do you think I did?” You asked right back.

“I don’t know… maybe you just felt bad and you wanted to help me out?” You laughed at his theory.

“You think this is how I try to make all my friends feel better?” You chuckled at the thought and he did as well. The answer was just as obvious to him as it was to you, but for some reason it seemed strange to think that’s actually how you feel.

“I mean… does this really mean what I think it mea—“ Before he could even finish you were hurriedly cupping his cheek and pulling him into a kiss.

Yoongi was shocked at first but easily melted into the way your lips fit against his. He hurriedly pulled you closer, needing to feel you as close as possible.

Your lips were so soft and tasted like the candy lip balm you always carried. You tasted so sweet and it fit you so well, so sweet inside and out, everything in his body surged with emotions he’s tried to keep at bay since you met.

So long in the dark, to finally kiss you like this…

His hands slowly ran up your side and it quickly bothered him that your puffy jacket was in the way of feeling you properly. He wanted so much more.

Without being separated for too long he got on top of you and the new angle quickly let things begin to heat up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and despite the fact he just came, his body ached and he wanted more.

“Why’d you never say anything?” He hurriedly asked in between kisses, moving down from your lips to gently trail down to your neck.

“What do you mean?” You asked, but once again you found it hard to pay attention.

“Did you know I liked you?” He was genuinely curious. Were you completely oblivious to his feelings this whole time or did you know?

“I figured, but I didn’t know for sure.” You sighed softly.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Yoongi finally stopped to look you right in the eyes. He wanted to know.

“I said something now, didn’t I?” You smiled.

“No you haven’t actually…”

He normally wasn’t like this, everything about your actions has told him you like him back but this night felt so unreal he just wanted to hear it out of your mouth directly.

You found yourself a little stunned by his words, you quickly needed to rack your brain for exactly what you wanted to say. How were you meant to tell him? Should you show him your gc messages with your friends, how much you would scream to them about your crush on your friend? Do you tell him the whole story of how you fell for his adorable gummy smile, big heart, and his amazing meals?

No, that would take too long and way too many tears to get into when you’re wetter than the ocean and he’s so close to touching you.

Instead of anything too elaborate you went with this.

“Next Friday, that new restaurant by Seokjin’s place… 8:00pm, be there or be square. I’ll tell you everything you want to hear, including a possibly tear-jerking story of how I came to like you so much. For now, I need you too bad to tell you like I want to, so you better be there next friday and please do something…” You wrapped your arms around his neck, hoping he might kiss you again.

Instead you felt his hand slide down to eagerly tug at your leggings.

He placed a gentle kiss right on your cheek before moving down your body and pulled your leggings down with him, revealing your soaked underwear.

You heard him quietly curse to himself at the sight and made quick working pulling down your panties and throwing them somewhere across the room.

Knowing what was about to happen your hands eagerly went to tangle in his hair but you only felt the hat he was still wearing. Without even thinking, you grabbed it and angrily threw it somewhere across the room.

You were immediately rewarded with his long, dark brown locks cascading down his face as he looked up at you with so much adoration. You loved his long hair so much, he started growing it out after you suggested for him to try it and anytime you’d see each other you were always knocked breathless at how pretty it framed his face and accentuated his delicate features. Just seeing him in this light, his eyes sparkling because of the fire or maybe he was filled with just as much emotion as you were, tangled up together in the fur blankets you brought, you almost found yourself teary-eyed.

You finally let your fingers run through his hair, it was still a little damp from earlier, but you marveled at the way the soft curls ran through your fingers before letting your hand travel down to cup his cheek, your thumb lightly caressing him.

He was so warm and so pink, he was just too cute as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the way your hand was making him.

You stopped a little too soon, moving your hand on top of his head once more to push him down.

Your body cried out in pleasure as he got the message and wrapped his arms around your thighs as he eagerly dove to taste you finally, his tongue licking a stripe between your slick folds.

“Oh, fuck, yes–” You moaned and he was quick to dive back in and this time paying close attention to your clit, sucking it and using his tongue to rub patterns into it that had you gripping his hair tightly as you groaned for him to continue.

Yoongi was really good at this, too good almost as he kissed and practically made out with your pussy. He was so eager to please, make sure you felt as good as you made him feel earlier.

You were honestly taken aback, not at all prepared for how good he was making you feel. You had heard things from your friend who he used to date when you both first met all those years ago, it was through her that you both became friends, and she always found the need to tell you about how good his oral game was after you confessed that you liked her ex boyfriend. She said it was to encourage you to finally make a move and ask him out, but you still found her weird nonetheless.

In the moment you only wondered how could she break up with a guy like this, but then you thought about it again and silently thanked her for being blind to how amazing the guy was that she had wrapped around her finger.

You were taken out of your thoughts when suddenly you felt a finger running through your folds. You blushed at how wet you sounded, the slick sounds louder than the crackling fire beside you both. You couldn’t help but laugh and used your free hand to cover your warming face.

Yoongi laughed along with you but he shook his head. “It’s hot.” He smiled at you and he was being painfully honest. Eating you out got him embarrassingly hard once more, and each time his finger ran through your folds he couldn’t resit grinding into your blanket, desperately wishing to fuck you like he wanted.

“You think you can take me?” He asked so gently and you whined trying to tell him at this point you could probably take his whole fist. He laughed at that, but happily he curled two fingers inside you.

“Fuck– mmphhh–” It was too good, he was too good and finding at the spots that had you crying, you felt like your whole body had been electrocuted at the way it tingled and pleaded for more.

Yoongi could have came at the way your walls were gripping his fingers, you were so fucking tight and so wet and warm. Just imagining what you would feel like on his cock had him practically fucking the floor at how desperately his hips moved

His fingers brushed against your walls, and pumped in and out of your sopping pussy, it was almost embarrassing at how close he’s got you already.

“Baby please…” You pleaded, completely unaware of the sudden use of a new nickname, one that immediately caught Yoongi’s attention. As much as he wanted to say something, he was quick at finally finding that spot inside that instantly had you seeing stars.

“There! There! Don’t stop, so fucking close–” You begged, that feeling so close you could practically taste it.

Yoongi took the hint and quickly bent back down so he could replace his fingers with his tongue. The combination was a deadly one, he was determined to get you to cum on his face.

“Fuck, fuck!” You cried, grabbing onto his hair creating a beautiful concoction of pain and pleasure. He never knew he was into getting his hair pulled until today.

Yoongi was absolutely ruthless in the way he was devouring you, it was only a matter of time before that final wave of pleasure crashed over you like a tsunami, overwhelming but in the best possible sense.

Yoongi watched your expression earnestly as he helped you work through it. He had to try hard not to cum along with you as he watched the adorable way your face scrunched up as your thighs clamped tightly onto his head and your grip on his hair reached an all time high. It was so good and just made him that much more eager to finally get inside.

You were still breathing heavily when Yoongi finally pulled away. You looked down to see that adorable smile he does when the corners of his lips turn up, it’s normally so cute but this time his mouth was glistening, all telling of what he’d just done.

He got up before quickly climbing back up to meet your lips, you could instantly taste yourself and for some reason that had that craving back all too quickly. You needed him.

You suddenly felt a tug on your coat, making you break away.

“Can we take these off?” He wondered and you eagerly nodded, already reaching in between you two and pulling your zipper down.

“You won’t get too cold?” He asked so gently, looking at you a little concerned. By now the temperature in the cabin probably was only a few degrees higher than it was outside, but your body made you delusional and you were honestly sweating by how warm he’s made you.

“We’ll be fine, besides I think we’ll be able to warm ourselves up just fine.” You smirked but Yoongi was too busy trying to get your coat off to get the joke.

As quickly as you both could, your coats, shirts, pants, and underwear were thrown away with the rest of your clothes and you both snuggled under the fur blanket once again for a little warmth. It was a strange, but perfect combination, the chill air in the cabin, the cozy warmth from the fire, and the softness of your blanket against your naked bodies. It was perfect.

Yoongi had almost tackled you back down the minute you pulled your shirt off, he wasn’t thinking straight whatsoever and seeing you like this made it impossible to think with anything other than the problem that started this whole ordeal.

You both were ready to go, your legs were wrapped around him and Yoongi had his hand around the base ready to finally get inside you when a horrifying revelation hit him.

Yoongi buried himself into shoulder as he groaned, because how could he forget that.

“What’s wrong?” You panicked, sensing something was wrong.

“I didn’t bring condoms with me.” He was this close to losing his mind, he was so fucking close. To make matters worse he noticed your saddened expression as well. To be fair, he really didn't think he’d find himself in this position at all when packing for this trip, and he’s usually the type to prepare for the just in case but the one time he didn’t–

“I guess you didn’t bring any either?” It physically pained him when you shook your head.

Suddenly your hand was on his cheek once more. “I’m on the pill though, if you’re comfortable we could continue if you’re alright with it.” You said and that glimmer of hope returned.

Normally he would never say yes to a situation like this, one good night not worth the chance of paying for it for the next 18 years (really the rest of your life), but he wasn’t thinking straight at all and this was with you. He trusted you.

“Alright…” His whole body lit ablaze once more as he lined himself up again.

It was your face once again that he paid attention to as he slowly pushed himself inside, but fuck, you felt so good he quickly found himself burrying his head in your shoulder trying to take it all in. Things were so much more intense because you weren’t using condoms, something he’s never done before today.

He wasn’t gonna last long at all.

“Is this g-good?” He shakily asked as he waited for you to get adjusted. You hurriedly nodded.

That was all it took for him to slowly bring his hips back before pushing himself back inside. The steady rhythm he set was quick to set, had you both a mess so quickly, you just felt so good around him and without any barrier in the way was almost too much.

You were so warm, pressed right up against him like this, with your tight walls embracing him so lovingly.

“Yoongi… so good…” You sighed and a warm fuzzy feeling spread all over his body as you moaned his name. It was him who was doing this to you, you even made plans for the both of you once you returned back to the city. You really liked him back…

Yoongi couldn’t resist kissing you, needing you to know he felt the same way. He wasn’t always the best at expressing himself sometimes and he wished he could eloquently tell you what your years of friendship have meant to him and truly how happy he was that you liked him as well.

It was passionate, the kind that would keep him up daydreaming about a night like this. Your hands ran over his back and grasped his shoulders as he started speeding up.

He groaned at the growing pleasure, knowing he probably wasn’t going to last much longer.

Before he knew it though, you suddenly had his back on the floor and you were climbing on top and sinking back down on his cock.

Yoongi was stunned but was quickly brought back in the moment, the minute he noticed the view. No longer being blocked by a blanket or his own self being in the way, every curve on your body was highlighted by the fire beside you both and you were absolutely gorgeous. You looked like an angel.

“Y/n… fuck, I’m so close, please–” He whined, his eyes welling up with tears but he was quick to blink them away.

You nodded. “Me too, I got us…” And you did, the way your hips rolled on top of his had that feeling returning all too soon and it was only a matter of time before…

Yoongi hastily grabbed your hips before traveling down to get a handful of ass.

Oh my gosh–

So fucking pretty and you like him too– fuck.

It hit quicker than he would have liked but when that wave of relief washed over him as he filled you up. It was one of the most mind-numbing, toe-curling orgasms he ever had, his eyes screwed tightly shut, tears ran down his face, as his hands encouraged you to keep moving steadily.

The first thing on his mind as he steadily came down from that high was you and making sure he could get you to cum again as well.

His hand found its way to your clit and helped push you over the edge as well. He watched your face intently and in the moment he couldn’t think of anything more beautiful than you right in front of him

You eventually got off of him and snuggled into his arms.

Yep, there was nothing greater than this.

━━━━━━━━ ❆ ━━━━━━━━

You and Yoongi had just finished breakfast when the doorbell rang. He quickly got up and ran to the door, not surprised to see it was the guy who was coming to fix the heater.

Yoongi invited him inside.

“Woah, it’s cold in here. Did you and your girlfriend make it alright with the storm outside?” The repair guy asked worriedly. He was about to say yes but then he realized a label he had yet to consider, where you really his–

“Yeah we made it alright. His fire kept us warm last night.” You said looking not at the repair guy, but straight at Yoongi.

You didn’t bother correcting him and Yoongi couldn’t stop that smile that enveloped his face.

He could have screamed and he did internally, but instead he turned to leading the repair guy to where the problem was. He would just tell you later, he already had something in mind…

1K notes · View notes

supernovafics · 2 years

Text

𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 4.8k words

summary: in which the vecna events hurt you a lot more than you would allow yourself to admit to anyone. you lost your best friend, someone who was quite possibly your only true friend, and you just felt empty inside because of it. you somehow find solace in steve harrington and an unspoken bond forms between you two. you and him barely talk, though; talking is probably the last thing you do with one another. but, maybe, you should.

warnings: post season four, mentions of eddie, mentions of stancy, reader grieving eddie’s death, soft!steve, some fluff, SO MUCH angst, explicit language, smut (minors dni!), overall a lot of sadness but with a happy/hopeful ending

author’s note: this idea randomly came to me and i immediately stopped everything else i was working on to run with this lmao hope y’all enjoy!<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was because you almost died.

That was what you kept telling yourself.

It was the life-and-death situations that you had found yourself in that past month that led you into Steve’s bed almost every night. And it was also the fact that he’d experienced those fucked up moments with you.

You and Steve weren’t friends. Even after what happened a little over a month ago, you rarely ever talked to each other during the normal hours that most people talked to one another. In fact, you found yourself actively avoiding him during the day.

But, when night rolled around and you were feeling way too restless and insanely sad, you would call him and he would always answer because somehow he was always awake too.

When you pulled into his driveway on this specific night, you didn’t hesitate to head to his front door and give it three quick knocks. He usually would leave the door unlocked for you after you told him you were on your way, but you still liked to knock.

For some reason, the thought of letting yourself into his house made things feel a little too personal and intimate; even though you and him were doing perhaps the most intimate thing two people could do with one another.

When Steve opened the door, he gave you a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” You responded softly before walking inside.

You took notice of his attire which was typical, basketball shorts and a simple t-shirt, but his hair was much more disheveled than usual. It made you silently wonder if this time you actually had woken him up when you called.

You peeled off your jacket and toed off your shoes, leaving them both by the front door.

You followed him up to his room and quickly found comfort atop his bed as he closed and locked the door behind you both. Your legs dangled off the edge of the bed and you looked up at the ceiling.

“Were you actually asleep when I called this time?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

You propped yourself up by your elbows and looked at him. “You can tell me to fuck off sometimes, you know that right?”

He ran a hand through his hair, which let you know that he was at least a little bit nervous and there was also a lot going through his head right then. You wish you didn’t know that about him, but it was hard not to notice little things like that with all of the nights you’d been spending together.

“I could never tell you to fuck off,” He ultimately responded.

Why?

That was what you wanted to ask him, but you couldn’t let the word fall from your lips. Because you were scared about what emotional shit would be attached to his answer. You were scared that it just might finally break you open.

Ever since everything went down you felt numb from it all and, for the most part, you were okay with that. You liked not feeling anything because it meant that you couldn’t truly grasp the pain and grief you were experiencing.

By no means was it healthy, you knew that, but it still somehow made things a little better.

However, there was still a part of you that longed for something, anything, that resembled the opposite of the emptiness you were feeling.

And that was where Steve would come in.

He’d give you something that would momentarily fill that void while simultaneously making you forget all of the shit going through your head.

And you’d give him the same thing. Make him forget about the girl he was in love with who was perfectly happy with someone else.

The two of you needed each other. You would never say it aloud, but it was the truth, and you couldn’t let a question of “why?” potentially ruin that right then.

So, instead, you stood up and slipped off the sweatpants you were wearing and then pulled off the ratty old band t-shirt that had been Eddie’s. You hadn’t been wearing a bra under the shirt so you were standing in front of Steve in only your black underwear. His eyes slowly traveled up your body as he walked closer to you and a hand found your bare waist.

When this all started weeks ago, it slightly surprised you how you never felt nervous or awkward under Steve’s gaze. Somehow you always felt comfortable, maybe even a little safe.

You leaned into his soft touch and tilted your head up so that you could meet his lips. When your mouth met his, your mind effectively turned off and the next few moments felt like they were being lived by a different version of you. The version that was normal and not so painstakingly affected by grief and sadness.

Steve guided you back onto the bed, his lips not detaching from yours once, so that your back was flush against the comforter.

Soft words fell from his lips that you couldn’t decipher because you were so lost in your own pleasure.

You felt him almost everywhere. Lips against your neck and trailing down your body, hands squeezing your breast and teasing you through your soaking underwear.

“Please,” You found yourself muttering desperately as you bucked your hips upward a bit because you needed him so badly.

Steve knew what you were essentially asking for and he wanted the same exact thing. So when he pulled away for a second to remove his t-shirt and basketball shorts and boxers, you slipped off your own underwear and let him make you simultaneously feel and forget everything.

Three Weeks Earlier

“Hey.”

His presence startled you. So much so that you lost your balance a bit and almost fell into the lake.

“Jesus Christ, Harrington, you can’t sneak up on a girl like that.”

“Sorry about that,” He said and pushed a quick hand through his hair. “I don’t think there was any right way to get your attention.”

You tilted your head at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Also, how did you get here? I didn’t see your car parked.”

You turned away from him. “I walked.”

“That doesn’t sound like the best idea.”

A small shrug was all you gave him in response as you kicked a small rock into the lake.

You didn’t tell him that all of the walking you did made you so exhausted that the only thing you could think of when you finally stepped foot in your home was sleep and absolutely nothing else.

You’d come to learn over the past few weeks that it was way too easy for your mind to spiral when you were alone in your bed if you didn’t force yourself to stay awake and do things until you were completely sleep deprived.

“How’ve you been?” He asked as he walked over to stand next to you.

You almost laughed at how ridiculous the question was because, in your mind, the answer seemed obvious. You’d been sad, angry, upset at the world, sometimes even upset at Eddie— and you’d always end up feeling like a horrible person when you did become upset at him.

But you hadn’t seen Steve or anybody else involved since everything happened, so as ridiculous as the question was, it did make sense that he was asking it.

“Not the best,” You ultimately answered.

He waited a few moments to see if you would elaborate on what you meant, but you didn’t.

“You’re kinda one of us now, so you can talk to us whenever. You can talk to me.”

You took a quick glance over at him and saw from the look on his face how much he meant his words. “That’s the thing though, I don’t wanna talk.”

“So, you just wanna wallow forever?” His tone wasn’t accusatory like you expected it to be. Instead, he was genuinely curious.

“I just want to…” You let out a long sigh. “Forget. Forget what happened, forget what we went through, forget that he’s gone. Everything.”

Steve didn’t say anything in response to that for a few moments, and you fought the urge to look at him because you knew that he was either staring at you like you were crazy or pitying you. You couldn’t decide which look would be worse.

“Let me drive you home,” He said softly. You realized then that he probably felt sorry for you and his eyes were more than likely saying the same.

You kept your gaze trained on the lake in front of you. “I’m okay.”

“Please?”

You only nodded because you knew you couldn’t say no. He’d probably ask a bunch of questions about what was going on with you, and you were a terrible liar so you knew you’d actually have to be honest with him. And how were you going to be honest with him, if you couldn’t be honest with yourself just yet?

You allowed yourself to get comfortable in the passenger seat of Steve’s BMW, leaning back into the seat and staring out at the dark road ahead of you both. If the circumstances had been different you could’ve maybe found yourself falling asleep in his car. But, it was too quiet and things felt awkward, so you couldn’t help but say the first thing that crossed your mind.

“How are you and Nancy?”

Steve didn’t say anything for a few long moments, but then he cleared his throat. “She’s, uh, she’s still with Jonathan.”

“Oh,” You said, and couldn’t hide the surprise in your voice. During everything, it seemed like the two of them were on some sort of course toward getting back together. “Sorry.”

He shrugged halfheartedly. “It’s fine.”

Something about his demeanor told you that it actually wasn’t fine.

Your eyes glanced at the time displayed on the dashboard. It was two in the morning but you weren’t tired enough. And you really didn’t wanna go back home just yet.

“Um, can we go to yours actually?”

You fully expected him to question you and ask why you wanted to go to his place and not your own. But, he didn’t ask anything and instead gave you a small nod. “Okay.”

His house was quiet and although you weren’t entirely sure how long you’d be staying, you slipped off the sneakers you were wearing and left them by the front door.

“You want something to drink?” Steve asked. “I would also offer something to eat, but there’s nothing really here.”

You shook your head. “Where’s your bathroom?”

“This way,” He said and then led you upstairs to the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom.

When you flicked on the light and looked in the mirror, it was then that you noticed how bad you looked, and it actually made sense to you that Steve had wanted to take you home. Your face looked exhausted, but you didn’t feel tired at all.

The t-shirt you were wearing, which had been Eddie’s, was insanely wrinkled and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d taken it off, and the old dark sweatpants you were wearing had some random bleach spots on them.

When you exited the bathroom, after splashing some water on your face to hopefully bring some life back to it, you noticed Steve lingering by his bedroom door.

“You could’ve told me how insane I look right now,” You told him.

“You look… fine,” He said hesitantly and you rolled your eyes as you sat on his bed. “I think you just look tired?”

You let out a small sigh and crossed your legs underneath you. “I’m quite literally the opposite.”

He sat down next to you and things became quiet.

“Why were you at the lake?” You decided to ask as you turned to look at him.

“Couldn’t sleep, so I was just driving around,” He responded and you nodded at that as you looked down at your lap.

You silently wondered if the aftermath of everything was hitting him as hard as it was hitting you. You almost asked him how he had been doing since it all happened, but the question couldn’t form on your lips.

“I did mean what I said back there,” He abruptly said as he turned to you. After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you met his gaze. “You can talk to me. I know we didn’t know each other before everything happened, and we still don’t know each other that well. But, still… I’m here. If you ever wanna not forget about everything, we can talk about it.”

You appreciated his words, you truly did. But, the thought of actually talking about everything made you feel physically ill.

Steve placed his hand atop yours and gave it a light reassuring squeeze. The action was so minor and could’ve easily been deemed as meaningless, but it did mean so much to you. For some reason that you couldn’t decipher or understand, he really did care about you.

You shifted a bit closer to him and allowed your body to move faster than your thoughts could tell you that what you were doing was a bad idea. You moved into his lap, knees straddling either side of his waist.

“Is this okay?” You asked, eyes meeting his.

He nodded slowly and you could see the minor confusion on his face but you chose to ignore it because if you didn’t you knew that you would start thinking too hard about what you were doing.

So, instead, you kept your mind off and let your body run on autopilot. Your hands settled at the nape of his neck and you leaned down to kiss him. His hands were firmly planted at his sides, too scared that all of this somehow wasn’t real to touch you back, but he did kiss you with just as much passion as you were giving him.

It finally felt good to actually feel something; something that didn’t cause you sadness.

“Touch me, Steve. Please,” You said in-between heated kisses.

He didn’t have to be told twice and his hands were on you in an instant, sneaking under your t-shirt and rubbing the soft skin of your hip, then waist, then back, then all the way up to your bra-covered breast. You moaned at the feeling of him squeezing you through the thin fabric.

You pulled back for a second to pull off your shirt and toss it somewhere in the room, and Steve took the opportunity to flip the two of you so you were pressed against the bed and he was on top of you. Your hands found a home in his hair as the two of you resumed kissing with even more intensity that time around. When Steve’s lips found your neck, you involuntarily bucked your hips upward and rubbed yourself against his hardness, which elicited a soft groan from him.

Abruptly, he pulled away. “Wait– Shit– Sorry.”

He rolled off of you and you turned on your side to look at him with confused eyes; he was staring up at the ceiling. “Why are you sorry?”

“You’re sad right now,” Steve said, still avoiding your eyes. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

He was right about the first part, but that didn’t mean that what the two of you were doing was a bad idea. In fact, you thought it was the opposite.

You were lonely, and you were pretty sure he was too. Why couldn’t the two of you help each other feel not alone?

“It’s okay. Seriously. I want this,” You told him as you shifted closer toward him and ran a hand through his hair.

He was looking at you now, searching your eyes for full confirmation that this really was okay. And he didn’t see any uncertainty in your gaze, but he still was hesitant.

“Please,” The word was soft and quiet, but Steve heard you loud and clear, and something inside of him shifted.

Finally, he was kissing you again and not wasting a second to move you back on your back so that he was on top of you as he peppered kisses down your body.

And finally, he was pulling off his shirt and pants and boxers and grabbing a condom, and you were taking off the remainder of your clothes as well.

And finally, he was slowly pushing himself inside of you and groaning at the feeling of you around him, your wet walls taking him in so well and squeezing around his cock so tightly.

You moaned and winced at the feeling as you adjusted to having him inside of you. You had had sex before but Steve was huge, and it felt like it was your first time all over again.

“You okay?” He asked, hand finding your cheek to softly stroke it.

You gave him a small nod and let your eyes slip shut as you shifted your hips a little. “Mhm. You can move now.”

He pressed a quick kiss to your lips as a way to say “okay” and then slowly began moving, pulling out just a little bit and then pushing right back into you.

You moaned uncontrollably as your chest swelled and your body was overcome with an insane amount of emotions; and all of them were surprisingly good emotions, which you hadn’t been used to anymore. You had felt so empty for so long that you didn’t expect to ever feel anything again.

But, now here you were with Steve.

You opened your eyes and immediately met his dark gaze. You didn’t shy away from his stare. Instead, you liked looking at him and seeing how equally enamored he was with you in that moment because of what the two of you were doing.

His hair was falling into his eyes with every thrust, so you reached up to run your hands through it, and you loved the loud groan he elicited when you gave his dark locks a soft pull. He began pounding into you with much more vigor.

“Fuck, Steve. Yes.”

“You’re so good, doing so well for me,” He said as his hand snaked down between your bodies to begin rubbing tight circles against your clit.

You cried out his name loudly and arched your back at the feeling of his fingers against the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“You’re so close, aren’t you? I can feel you squeezing around me so tight, fuck,” Steve groaned, movements getting harsher and sloppier with each thrust. “You wanna come?”

You nodded immediately and frantically. “M’so close, yes. Please, please make me come.”

His fingers rubbed your clit harder and faster, which was enough to make you see stars and send you over the edge. His lips messily found yours, swallowing your moans as he continued fucking you through your orgasm and found his own release only moments later.

Your breaths were still coming out in soft pants and you could feel Steve softening inside of you. “Fuck, that was really great.”

“Yeah,” He agreed with a nod and smile as he slipped out of you and moved to his side, still looking at you. You turned your head to meet his eyes.

Things became comfortably quiet as the two of you simply stared at each other and you could finally feel your eyelids actually getting heavy. But, you didn’t want to fall asleep there.

“Can you take me home?” You asked, breaking eye contact and sitting up in the bed.

“Yeah, no problem.”

Minutes later, you were back in the clothes you’d shown up in and then you were back in Steve’s passenger seat.

And right when your head hit your own pillow, you were asleep and didn’t wake up for a solid eight hours. Which was much different from the usual six, sometimes even five, hours you had become used to getting.

You didn’t think that you’d have sex with Steve again.

Yes, it was absolutely mind-blowing and you’d love for it to happen again because of how good it made you feel; probably the most “good” you’d felt in a while. But, in your head, it was a fluke. You didn’t regret it, but you just didn’t think the circumstances would align for it to happen again.

However, when the next night rolled around, you found yourself creating your own circumstances and calling him, and he didn’t hesitate to tell you to come over.

Now

“You miss him?”

You almost made some joking comment about how Steve was still inside of you and he somehow decided that right then was the time to shift the conversation to your best friend, but you refrained from doing so.

Steve was always so much softer than you were after sex, and he had always wanted to make sure you knew that he was there for you if you wanted more than just sex.

You had wanted to show him that you would do the same for him too; let him talk about Nancy and everything he was feeling from that situation. But, it was too hard.

Because more than anything, you wanted this to be as mindless as possible.

After a few weeks, he decided to stop trying to start a conversation with you after because of how little you reciprocated. However, apparently, this time was different though.

And it was also different for you too because you actually found yourself wanting to talk back.

“All the time,” You finally answered as you shifted off of him and let your head find his pillow as you grabbed the thin sheet to pull it over you a bit. “Pretty much all hours of the day.”

You didn’t say that the only time you didn’t miss Eddie, that the only time things actually felt the tiniest bit bearable, was when you were here with Steve. Because you hadn’t realized that until right then, and the thought slightly startled you.

You turned on your side and faced him. “You miss her?”

He turned too and his hand found your hip underneath the sheet and mindlessly started tracing small circles on the bare skin. “Who?”

You gave him a look because you knew that he knew exactly who you were referring to.

His eyes shut for a second and you could tell that he was thinking about what to say. “Sometimes, I guess.”

You glanced down at the scar he had on his abdomen from where he was attacked by the demo-bats and slowly let your fingers trace against it. “You could always just tell her, y’know? Tell her that you love her.”

“Did you ever tell him?” His voice was quiet.

Your eyes flickered back up to his. “Tell him what?”

“That you love him.”

His words slightly confused you but you nodded your head. “Of course, probably every day. But, that’s different.”

“How?” Steve asked, genuinely curious, and you thought it was slightly funny because in your head the answer to his one-worded question was obvious.

“I didn’t love him how you love her.”

“What?” The confusion was evident in his tone.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

He shifted and sat up in the bed, the sheet sinking down and barely covering his hips. You almost followed suit and sat up too, but you were too tired to do so, so you just looked up at him and started becoming confused because of how confused he seemed.

“You and Eddie… You two– You guys were together, right?” He asked, eyes finding yours.

“Ew, no,” You said and laughed a bit. “Eddie is like–” You sighed at your mistake. “Was like… a brother to me.”

“But…” Steve trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say because there was a lot circling his mind right then.

“What made you think that we were dating?”

“You guys were so close. It just– It made a lot of sense,” He answered, and you understood what he meant. You and Eddie were insanely close, but not in that way. Never in that way. Simply the thought of him being anything more than your closest friend felt slightly incestual to you. “And when I saw you that night, after everything, you were crying at lover’s lake.”

“I was not crying,” You said with a small scoff. Although you did remember that you had been close to it that night. “And I hadn’t necessarily gone there on purpose, I was just walking around to make myself tired so that I could sleep, and I ended up there.”

“Wow,” He said, letting out a small breath as he leaned back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

You almost laughed at how surprised he was at your words. “I can’t believe how big of a revelation this is for you.”

He turned toward you again. “It’s just– Wow.”

“Okay, now that that is cleared up, I guess, back to you and your situation. You should just tell–”

Before you could finish your statement, Steve abruptly pressed his lips against yours.

The two of you never kissed outside of sex, only during it and as a prelude to it. Never after, though.

So, that surprised you. Even though you kissed him back almost immediately because of how many times you’d kissed him before, you were still in shock because this was probably the most chaste and sweetest kiss he had ever given you. But, it still felt so familiar.

When he pulled away, you should’ve asked something along the lines of “what was that for?” or “why did you do that?”. But, instead, your mind trailed back to something Steve had said earlier.

“I could never tell you to fuck off.”

And that statement made you ask a question that might have sounded so random, but it felt like it was connected to what he had just done.

“Earlier, why did you say that you could never tell me to fuck off?”

Steve’s hand softly stroked your cheek and he was completely unfazed by your question. “Because I like you too much.”

“But, Nancy–”

He shook his head before you could finish. “She’s with Jonathan and she’s happy. They’re meant to be. I’ve accepted that.”

“But…” It was your turn to trail off because you didn’t know what to say. All you could do was simply stare at him and take notice of how tenderly he was looking at you in that moment.

“This whole time I felt like a horrible person because I was falling for you while I thought you were grieving your boyfriend. I can’t believe how wrong I was,” He said with a small sigh.

Your mind was effectively blank and there was nothing you could even think of saying to Steve right then. There was way too much to process in such a short amount of time.

You felt like you were in the same “misunderstanding boat” as him. Because in your mind he had still been in love with Nancy. Therefore, why would you allow yourself to like him? You would’ve just ended up getting hurt and losing him, and he was the only thing in your life that made you feel somewhat better about Eddie.

You were then reminded of your earlier realization, and how good it felt being with Steve on sleepless nights like these.

“I thought you loved Nancy,” You finally said.

“And I thought you and Eddie had been together.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “We should talk more. Our communication is pretty shitty.”

His arm circled your waist as he laughed too and pulled you close to him. You let your head settle on his chest and your eyes slip shut.

It was quiet for a few moments before you decided to finally let yourself be completely honest with him. “I think I like you too much too. Like, too much. It’s so much harder to go to sleep when I’m not here with you. And you make things feel a lot better. Everything that happened… It doesn��t hurt as much when I’m with you. Somehow it all actually feels okay.”

Your voice was soft and it could’ve been easy for Steve not to hear you, but he did. Instead of immediately responding, he simply held you tighter and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You could’ve sworn if your eyes weren’t closed you’d be crying from the action.

“Don’t leave tonight, okay?”

His request didn’t fully surprise you, but at the same time, it did. Mainly because it was something that neither of you ever really talked about or acknowledged.

Sometimes, actually a lot of the times, you would end up falling asleep in Steve’s bed with his arms around you, but you’d always be gone before the morning came because you knew that everything would feel too “real” if your moments with Steve lived beyond the nighttime. And he never called you out on abruptly leaving or ever tried to convince you to stay.

Of course, now, you didn’t care about what it would mean if you stayed with him as the night slowly faded away. And in fact, you found yourself aching for mornings with him and days spent together doing nothing or driving aimlessly around town in addition to the amazing nights you’d have together.

You smiled softly into the darkness as you nuzzled yourself impossibly closer to him and finally responded. “Okay.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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