#i too want to live with my mom i miss her even though she's 5 minutes away and wants me to move back in

[kimingyuslover]

Breath in your love

Synopsis : What if Jeonghan wishes of turn back time come true?

Word count : 3,231

Pairing : yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

Genre : time traveler!au, angst, fluff, lovers to exes to lovers, second chance romance

Warnings & note : TEARS, she has a daughter named Seok kyung, single mom!reader, slight of dad!Jeonghan at the end, time traveler!Jeonghan, mentions of food, lots of mentions of Seok kyung, kinda simp!Jeonghan, mentions of pregnancy, this fic does not represent his character in real life!

a.n : back with another angst story.... literally tearing up rn lolololol

Life hasn't been easy for you, not even now, exhaustion evident on your face, you just want to go home and have a good rest on weekends like you always do.

Working under one of the big 3 companies was not easy, and you know it, yet you still work there and even achieve being their head of finance.

After you reach home, all your exhaustion goes through the window when you see your daughter waiting patiently with her nanny at your doorstep.

She's greeting you with a sweet smile plastered on her face with a piece of paper that she held proudly on her chest.

“Seok kyung!” You open your arms towards her. She reciprocates by running to you and wraps her tiny hands on your back.

“Did you be a good girl today? you're not causing a problem, are you?” she giggles between your questions and shakes her head no.

“I'm not mommy! Miss Jiwoo also said I'm good today and she gives me 5 stars!” She gave you her paper full of stars, you gasped at her answer, then smiled widely.

“really? My baby is so smart!” You take her inside while Seok kyung's nanny helps you by taking your bag and you mouth a ‘thank you’ to her as she smiles at you.

Having Seok kyung was not on your plan, at least until you found out that you're pregnant 5 years ago with her, and your pregnancy is seven weeks old.

When you first tell your boyfriend– now ex, Jeonghan, that you’re pregnant and you want to keep it, arguments start to happen.

He’s arguing that he's not yet ready to be a father and he doesn't want you to keep it, whereas you argue back that even though you're both not as ready as anyone else to be a parents, you still wants to keep it, you can learn together how to be a good parents, they done nothing wrong, so if you aborted them, wouldn't it be cruel?

Arguments keep happening since then, and it took you 3 days to finally break up with him, if he doesn't want the baby so be it, you're willing to give up on your 6 years relationship for your baby.

And now here you are, a single mother on the peak of your 30s with a daughter and a stable job that can give you more than enough money to live with your daughter.

There's so much purchase that you buy for your future, like a car, a house, maids, and even a nanny to take care of your daughter while you're working.

When you're on a business trip, though, you bring her with you because it makes you not worry too much about her.

“Sweetheart, mommy's having a business trip tomorrow. Do you want to come with me, or do you want to stay here with Uncle Joshua?” You asked Seok kyung after bathing with her and putting on clothes for both of you.

She makes the ‘think’ gesture first and answers you with excitement in her voice, “I want to go with mommy! Will we go with a plane again?” You lightly chuckles and stroke her hair softly.

“Yes, we will, baby. Let's pack up first, yeah?” She nods her head and runs towards your walk-in closet to take a big suitcase.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Now you're in the first class lounge, waiting for your airplane to open the gate for boarding.

Seok kyung playing games on her Ipad while you were reviewing the proposal your team has been working on for over a month.

After a couple minutes of waiting, your gate has finally opened for boarding, and you usher Seok kyung to get up from the couch and walk to the boarding gate.

On the other hand, Jeonghan thinks he might be dreaming when he sees you with a little girl on his plane boarding gate, smiles attached to your and her face while walking hand-in-hand.

It's been years since he last saw you, the last time was when he fucked up your relationship, feeding only his ego then at the end all of his mistake was the cause of your break up.

His first serious relationship that he cherished the most comes to an end, and it was not in a good way.

Jeonghan knew he was the wrong one, and the only one who can be blamed for your ruined relationship, you've done nothing wrong, but in his eyes that time, you've done more than the wrong things he imagined.

There’s a hard pang he feels in his heart when he sees you. He spent almost every hour in a day stalking your social media, and he always wanted to be the one who you'll always mention in your post.

He felt the hurt in his heart more when he saw your posting almost 5 years ago. It's a picture of one pair of tiny feet on your hand, but for him, it's not only a picture of a baby feets, it's a photo of his daughter, the one he left when you're only seven weeks pregnant.

When he got your notification, he almost immediately checked on his phone when he saw you updating your life with Seok kyung (he learned that was her name when one of your friends mentioned it in the comment section).

All of your updates have always been successful to bring a smile to his face.

Jeonghan always wondered what his life would be if he shortly apologised after the first argument, would Seok kyung love him? Will he be a good dad? Will you get married and live a happy life for the rest of your life just like you both had planned when your relationship entered 3 years?

The questions are always running on his mind 24/7, wanting no more than to run to you, holding both your hand and Seok kyung on his, kneeling in front of you and muttering apologise after apologise until you forgive him.

But that seems to be an impossible act. Before he knew it, he had already gotten on the plane and sat on his seat.

When he turns around, his body freezes upon seeing you and Seok kyung on your seats, playing like there's nobody else in the world.

After what feels like an eternity, the plane finally takes off, Jeonghan’s hoping that he won't be fast asleep because he wants to see you and your daughter– or rather, the daughter of his and yours.

A few hours have passed, and you are both fast asleep on your seat. Jeonghan called the air hostess to allow him to switch seats, luckily for him, it's not a full flight so there's a few seats left, he chooses the one who he can get closer to you, wanting to observe your little family a little bit more.

He can see the little detail on her face, he can see the manifestation of your and his love, she got your lips and eyes, meanwhile her nose and hair seems to be more likely to his.

Suddenly, tears started to brimming in his eyes. Why can't he accept his fate? Why can’t he do what a good fiancé will do when their fiancée says that she's pregnant? Why can't he seem to never be good enough to enroll in your life again?

Tears fell down from his eyes down his chin, then dropped to his lap.

oh, how he wished he could turn back time.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“baby? baby, you need to get up. Today is still thursday, and you have to get ready to work” Jeonghan can't believe what he's hearing, your sweet voice filling both of his ears.

Realising that it was, indeed, your voice, he immediately sat up from his sleep figure and started to look at you with disbelief prominent on his face.

He still didn't believe his eyes, and he went as far as holding your cheeks with his hands, and you gave him a puzzled look.

“Uh, baby? what's wrong?” You asked him while raising one of your eyebrows, puzzled by his unusual behavior.

Jeonghan said nothing and just pulled you on his chest. If this is a dream, he’s hoping he will never wake up and have to live his life with the same nightmare everyday.

“Just for your information, ten minutes has passed and it's now seven past five and you can always hug me again when you get home” You said with muffled voice, and there Jeonghan let go of you, to have a better look of your face, and then smiles which you reciprocated with the same.

“Okay then, I have to go shower even though I still want to cuddle with you, am i?” You nod at his words and get off the bed.

Jeonghan finally comes to his senses and gets off from the bed, heading towards the bathroom, a wide smile still attached to his face.

After he got out of the shower, his ironed work attire already sat on his bed. It's the daily activity you would do, preparing his work attire when he showers.

Jeonghan still remembers how you two would act like a married couple, like a husband and wife, even long before your engagement.

When he goes downstairs, he searches for you, and when he does get to see you, you're in your kitchen, cooking breakfast and preparing lunch for him.

He never eats in the office canteen because the lunch you made has already made his stomach full, and he makes sure to tell you everytime he gets home from work.

Jeonghan checks the dates and months on his phone, and when he opens it.

January 16th, 2021

30 days before you announce that you're pregnant, he hopes that he can be here forever so he can fix everything for both of you.

“Love? Eat your breakfast first, and here's your lunch” back in the day, Jeonghan never appreciated your dish like he should, he only said ‘thanks’ before eating it half and then got up and went to the basement of your Maisonette apartment.

Jeonghan eagerly sat on the dining table and started to dig into the breakfast that you made, which is kimchi fried rice with seaweed on the side.

You look at him confused because Jeonghan is usually not this enthusiastic with your dish, but of course, you're happy to see Jeonghan eating your dish like this.

When he's done, Jeonghan goes to the sink and washes his plate and eateries.

“The food is so good sweetheart, can't wait to eat my lunch that you packed for me. Thank you, angel” He said, then kissed the top of your head with love, and that made you let out giggles.

“You're welcome. You better get go on though, there's a little traffic on the way to your office when i opened the maps earlier”

And does he already mention that you're always checking the maps before him?

After bidding you a goodbye, Jeonghan closed the front door and went straight to the basement, ready for probably a long day at work.

In the modern day, Jeonghan is already the vice president of the marketing department, so it shouldn't be that hard now.

He knows you're working remotely, so he doesn't need to worry about you getting late to your office.

In a matter of hours, lunch and working hours have passed, it is now five past six, and Jeonghan hurriedly tidying his office desk to go home.

Unluckily for him, the traffic is worse than the previous one in the morning where he got one, which makes him get home 15 minutes late.

Now it's 5:45, and he made it home before it got dark, wanting no more than to throw himself on your hugs.

“I'm home!” he announces as he kicks his shoes and places them on the shoe racks.

His ears perked up when he heard your hurried footsteps, coming down from the second floor.

“Long traffic? I've seen the route from your office to here. You should probably go shower. What do you want for dinner? I’ll make it” you said as you practically ran after you got off the stairs to him.

Jeonghan smiled. He really missed your attention for the past years he’s not with you.

So he answers you with the meals you and him like, Kimchi stew and after that he brings your lips to his for a chaste kiss that makes you blush and slap his chest lightly and whine his name.

Jeonghan just chuckles lightly, and he runs towards your shared bedroom to have a shower.

Once he gets out of the shower, he rushes out to your dining rooms, excited for the Kimchi stew you make.

Until now, Jeonghan only likes the Kimchi stew made by his mom and yours because he found comfort in them. He already tried to like Kimchi stew from the restaurants, but it never beat yours nor his mother's.

He misses these moments, where you and he will eat together in your shared maisonette, eating with happy giggles always left on both your lips, and the satisfied feelings when he's eating your dishes again with you sitting on the opposite of his seat.

“I love the meal, angel. you're such a good cook, i know you're going to be a good mom someday” He knows you're a good mom, Seok kyung always looks so happy when she's with you.

His words make you blush, and you try to hide it by burying your face on your hands, Jeonghan laugh and get up from his seat to hug you from your back, “I mean it, you're good at cooking and will be a good mom to our kids” then he kisses the top of your head before getting your and his bowl to wash it.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

February 15th, 2021

1 day before your announcement, everything goes more than well. He just has to stick with his plan, and he hopes he can change his future with you.

Jeonghan sometimes sees you when you're throwing up in your bathroom and always asks if you want him to go to the pharmacy nearby, but you always shake your heads no.

He tried to build a happy relationship with you. He wants to treat you with the treatments you deserve. He wants to love you like he should before the downfall.

He wants Seok kyung to have a life like the other kids, having a mother and father figure.

Jeonghan was living his old life, like usual, going to work 9 to 5, going out with you every weekend, and telling you how much he loves you everytime he could.

He just got off from work. When you suddenly started to put distance between you, he furrowed his eyebrows, creating creases on his forehead.

He vividly remembers that this was not in his memory.

Did he do something wrong? Why are you putting distance towards him? Does his plan not work? Do you want to get off of him? His thoughts are running hundreds of miles per hour, thinking of the worst scenario in his head.

The next day comes fast. Last night, Jeonghan had already emailed his boss that he’s taking 2 weeks off and requested to do work from home because his fiancée is pregnant. His boss doesn't waste another single time as she reads it. She accepts Jeonghan's request.

Jeonghan’s nervous. Could he really change the future?

“Jeonghan,” There is it, your voice calling his name, it means you will have a serious conversation with him.

You look so afraid that you couldn't see him in the eyes, your eyes attached to the ground beneath you, Jeonghan can see that you're trembling, so initiated to take you by your shoulders and told you to sit in front of him.

“What's wrong, honey?” Jeonghan asks, worried plastered on his face.

“I'm pregnant with your child. It's seven weeks old” you said hurriedly while giving him the test, the ultrasounds, and the doctor's examination letter.

In the past timeline, Jeonghan already cuts you off when you said you're pregnant with his child, never letting you finish your words.

“I want to keep the baby” you said again while fiddling with your hands on your lap.

Jeonghan couldn't be happier than he is now, Seok kyung will recognize him as her father, not a stranger.

“Okay, keep the baby. We both know that we have a minimal knowledge to be parents, but we will learn together” Jeonghan answered you, with his tear-filled eyes he held your chin up, so your eyes were at the same level as him.

You looked at him in disbelief. Jeonghan can see your tears already spilling from your eyes, so he wipes your tears from your cheeks with his thumbs.

The distance between you both grows smaller, Jeonghan wastes no time to crush your lips together and give you a long, chaste kiss.

He pulled out first, giving you and him a room for air, “Thank you, baby, thank you” He connects your foreheads, smiling as he looks at you.

That night was spent with you on the held of Jeonghan's hand, sleeping after watching a few videos of how to be a good parent and early pregnancy care.

Jeonghan doesn't want anything other than this, having his life with you in it.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Jeonghan eyes shoot open when he hears the sound of a film beside him. He remembers that he was sitting alone, wait–

when he turns his head to the right, there's a window, ‘no no no no no’ he thought to himself.

If he's in the present time, that means everything he sees, he feels, is it only his dream? but he dared to turn his head to the other side, wanting to see who was sat beside him.

He can't buy what he's seeing right now, Seok kyung is sat beside him while you're sat beside her.

Seok kyung looked at her side when she felt something was moving, “Mommy! daddy's already wake up!” her eyes light up when she speaks with you.

“Got a nice dream, huh? you passed out for like, 10 hours of our flight, we're landing in 30 minutes” you say with a teasing smile on your face, Jeonghan's confused, trying to regain his mind.

Then it clicks, he was not dreaming, he really changed his future, Seok kyung known him as her father, not a stranger.

When he sees his right hand, there's a wedding ring, so this is the ending he gets. He really gets his happy ending, with Seok kyung, and most importantly, you.

“Love, you're okay?” You ask with cautiousness, Jeonghan seems unusual after his 10 hours sleep.

He then answers you hurriedly, “yes, i'm fine, i'm just zoning out” Jeonghan answers, and in a split seconds, he pulls you both for a long hug.

You and Seok kyung chuckles when Jeonghan doesn't want to let both of you go, and when he did, he leaned in to kiss you on the lips.

This is resulting in his daughter whines ‘i want to be kissed too!’ That, of course, Jeonghan accomplished, giving his beloved kisses on her cheeks, forehead, and lips.

Jeonghan can finally live his life with goods waiting for him. He starts to forget his life before this trip, how he wanted to pray every single day to thank god.

He lives a happy life with you and Seok kyung. He will never let you go again.

His little family consisted of Yoon Jeonghan, Yoon Seok kyung, and Yoon Y/n.

[avatar-anna]

I was thinking you could do a “5 times y/n told Harry she was pregnant” for the young!dad series !! That would be so interesting especially since in the last piece you mentioned that Harry already had a feeling she was pregnant before she even told him

The Thing About Having Six Kids

so i got this ask and a couple others that were kind of about the kids' birth/pregnancy a while ago, and went with five different instances about each kid in the youngdadrry universe. it's all surrounding their birth, finding out about pregnancies, etc. enjoy!

Young Dad! Harry x Young Mom! Reader

Simone

(a text conversation between Harry and Y/n)

Y/n: i'm pregnant

(one day later)

Y/n: Harry?

Harry: Are you sure?

Y/n: i'm sure

Y/n: i have four different pregnancy tests to prove it

Harry: I don't know what to say.

Y/n: the 24 hours it took you to respond kind of told me that

Harry: I'm sorry about that. It's just...a lot

Y/n: it's fine i guess. at least you finally responded.

Harry: Did you think I wouldn't?

Y/n: honestly? yeah. it's not like we're married or in love or anything. you don't even live in the same country as me

Harry: What are you going to do?

Harry: I know but I wouldn't just like disappear on you

Harry: I was just shocked that's all

Y/n: idk. i'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my parents

Harry: Shit my parents!

Y/n: that's kinda where i'm at right now

Y/n: but i think i want to keep it

Y/n: the baby

Y/n: fuck that sounds crazy to say. i have physics homework due tomorrow but let me stop and make a life altering decision really quick about whether i want to have a baby or not

Harry: I'm sorry. You know...

Y/n: for getting me pregnant? knocking me up? putting a bun in the oven?

Harry: It seems too early to joke about this

Y/n: it's keeping me from freaking the fuck out at the moment

(ten minutes later)

Harry: I want to talk about this properly and figure this whole thing out but I have to go

Y/n: please don't feel obligated or anything. this was just a courtesy

Y/n: i don't expect anything from you. i get it if your management wants you to delete my number and never see me again. i just thought you should know.

Harry: What are you talking about?

Harry: Y/n?

3 missed calls from Him <3

Collette

"Let's have another baby."

Y/n was close to nodding off, so it was very possible that she was dreaming. She looked behind her. It was dark in the bedroom, but Harry was close enough that she could see him, could see that his head was propped on his elbow so he could look down at her.

"What did you say?" she asked, because she needed to be sure.

"I...I want another baby," he said, voice soft even though they were the only two people in the room. Simone was fast asleep in her own bedroom, tuckered out after a long day of playing at the park and eating ice cream and fingerpainting with Harry. Now that One Direction was officially on hiatus, it was just the three of them—Y/n, Harry, and Simone. Y/n thought it would take some getting used to, living a relatively normal life. But their little family actually fell into it quite easily.

Perhaps a little too easily.

"Say something."

Y/n hadn't realized she failed to respond, but to be fair, that was a pretty big bomb her husband just dropped. Her husband. They'd been married for a few months now, but it still felt surreal, which was probably why the idea of having another baby felt too far from reality to comprehend.

"I just...I don't know what to say," Y/n said honestly. "I—I'm not sure we're ready for that."

"We weren't ready the first time," Harry said when Y/n finally flipped on her other side to face him. This seemed like a conversation he really wanted to have, so she thought facing him would probably be best. "I just think this might be the time, you know? I don't have an insane schedule anymore, there's no more management to say that we can't, and I've always thought about giving Simone a sibling. Don't tell me you've never thought about it."

"I...I have," Y/n said.

She did think about more kids. As young as she and Harry were and as impossible as their relationship seemed at times, Y/n couldn't help but think about wanting more. She loved Harry, and she'd been loving these moments they'd been able to share as a proper family recently. Harry was right, if they wanted to have another baby, now would be the time.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said as she felt more than saw his hand push some hair away from her face.

"What happens when you start working again?" Y/n asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you, H," she said. "And I love you. Everything about you. And one of the parts that make you who you are is the music. This...this little bubble we're in, I love it too, but I know you'll want to go back to it someday. And then you'll go on tour for ten months, and I'll be alone to raise two kids by myself for a majority of the year."

It was harsh, but she trusted him enough to take it. This was the thought that always held her back. Y/n thought about the possibility of expanding their family on more than one occasion, especially in recent weeks when things have been practically perfect. But the reality was that Harry would want to go back to work. She knew, maybe better than anyone, the desire he had to make his own music, to create and write in ways he couldn't while in the band. And perform. Harry loved to perform live. Y/n knew that this time spent with just their family was fleeting, and she cherished every minute of it, the same way she knew Harry did. It was only a matter of time before he went back to work, and she wasn't sure she could raise Simone and a newborn without him.

"That's...That's all over now," Harry said. When Y/n tried to protest, he continued on. "What I meant to say was, the ridiculous schedules, the strict rules about when we can and can't spend time together, the separate hotel rooms. Mama, things can be different now."

"But management—"

"I bought out my contract," he said. "I haven't really given it much thought in a while because I just want to be present with you and Simone, but I've got a few people in mind for new managers. People who will prioritize our family."

This was certainly news to Y/n. It was hard to talk about Harry's management or the harsh thumb they pinned him under, so oftentimes it was a topic they avoided. Hearing him say this now, knowing how much money it would've taken to buy out his contract...that was a huge deal. As far as she knew, the other boys were just sticking with it until the contracts were finished. But Harry went and did what Y/n didn't even think was possible.

"Our family," Y/n repeated, and for a moment, she could see it. The three of them becoming four. It was crazy to think about, to think so far ahead into the future, but Y/n wasn't scared by it.

"Let's have another baby," Harry said again.

Looking at him, Y/n's heart squeezed in her chest. He'd been growing his hair out for a while now, and it was long enough that it reached just passed his shoulders. She loved it, thought it made him look older, more mature. And okay, hot. And Simone loved it too. She loved braiding it and putting bows and flowers in it or just twisting it around her finger. His shoulders were broad and lean, though he'd put on a little muscle in his arms from doing handiwork around the house, something he claimed he loved to do even though Y/n had heard him curse from another room while he worked on his latest project.

She looked at his face, the one that looked so different yet so similar to the one she'd met when she was seventeen. She wondered what those teenagers would think of the people they'd become, of the things they'd seen and experienced.

She thought about it. The baby-to-be. It would have Harry's eyes and smile, her nose and hair color. If it was a girl, she could wear matching outfits with Simone, if it was a boy...Well, they could maybe still match. Y/n thought about all the baby clothes—the adorable little onesies and shoes and mittens to keep the baby from scratching their face while they slept. She didn't let herself think of the late nights and sore boobs and dirty diapers. In this moment, she just thought about all the good feelings, every perfect moment that could be.

"You promise things will be different? I can't—I can't do it alone," she said, needing to hear him say it again.

Harry didn't try to kiss her, he didn't put his hands on her waist or pull her to his chest—all tactics he would normally use to distract her. This conversation was too serious, too important, and she loved him all the more for understanding that.

"I promise, Y/n," he said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. "I will never make you regret living this life with me."

"That's not what I—"

"I know, but I just...I needed to say it."

He needed to make that promise to her, to himself. Life had not been easy, and Y/n knew Harry blamed himself for a lot of the hardships they faced.

"I don't," she said, kissing their joined hands. "And I won't. Ever. "

Harry grinned, and Y/n could tell even in the dark that his gaze was a little watery. Still, he inched forward and said, "So...?"

Y/n leaned forward and kissed him, her leg slotting between his. "Let's have another baby."

Maeve and Jules

"I'm sorry, did you just say twins?"

"I did. I'm seeing two heartbeats here. See?" The doctor said, pointing at the monitor she'd been observing closely the last five minutes.

Y/n couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. It was one thing to be pregnant (again), but an entirely different one to be pregnant with twins. "That's—"

"Amazing," Harry breathed.

Y/n turned her head away from the monitor to look at her husband, whose eyes were glued to the screen with a look of wonder in them. As she'd begun to process her own feelings about housing not one but two babies in her belly for nine months, she hadn't really considered how he might feel about it.

Looking at him now, she could tell he was ecstatic.

Y/n was still panicking a little, but seeing the elation on Harry's face was comforting. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it hard, needing to feel the warmth of his palm to ground her.

"Hey," he said softly, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "This is a good thing. Unexpected, but good."

"I know," Y/n said, letting out a shaky breath. "I know it's just...a lot. I mean...twins?"

"Nothing we can't handle," Harry said, kissing her cheek.

His confidence was reassuring. Maybe he was freaking out on the inside and not letting it show for her sake, but Y/n felt better about the situation at hand and was ready to continue with the appointment.

To the doctor, she said, "Are they healthy?"

The doctor smiled warmly. "They are. It looks like one of them is about a week behind, but that's nothing to worry about."

"Really? They're twins. That doesn't seem possible," Harry said, his brow furrowing adorably.

"It's rare, but it is possible. Fraternal twins can be conceived as much as twenty-four days apart," the doctor said.

Y/n understood perhaps a split-second before Harry, but when he did, he turned as beet red as she felt. The doctor didn't seem to mind their embarrassment, though she'd probably seen all sorts of couples and situations. Y/n imagined there wasn't much that the doctor hadn't seen before.

The appointment wrapped up pretty quickly after that. Harry snuck out of the hospital through a separate door while Y/n set up her next appointment. She met him in the staff parking lot, where he was standing by the passenger door to help her in. Harry gave her a quick kiss before closing her in and walking around to the driver's side. As he drove, Y/n was thinking about a number of things—twice the amount of clothes, twice the amount of crying, twice the amount of diaper changes. She was excited at the prospect of having a baby. It was a conversation she and Harry had before they started trying, but the idea of twins was a lot to wrap her head around.

She looked at Harry, wanting to ask how he felt now that they were alone, but she stopped herself.

Harry had one hand on the steering wheel, the other covering a wide grin. He was blushing a little too, and Y/n couldn't help but ask what had him smiling like an idiot.

"I'm trying to figure out which times," he said.

"What do you mean which—Are you kidding? Which times we conceived the twins?"

"Aren't you curious?" Harry asked. "Twice, babe. I put a baby in you twice. I mean, one of them had to be when we were on the yacht, right? I always feel good after we have sex, but I feel like we really outdid ourselves there. Clearly."

Y/n just looked at her husband in shock. "You are..."

"What? It's cool!" Harry insisted, but he was laughing too. "And it takes the edge off a little. Come on, you try."

So he was more nervous than he was letting on. That was comforting in its own way too, but Y/n appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood. They could have a serious conversation later, but for now it was fun to just forget all of that. Just for a moment.

Y/n gave him a dry look, trying to appear like she wasn't impressed until she eventually rolled her eyes and smiled. "Mm...I agree with the yacht, and...when you came back from London."

"Really?" Harry asked, more curious than surprised.

"Yeah," Y/n said with a little sigh as she remembered the night in question. "That was a good night."

It was one of those rare occurrences where Simone was in her own bed and Collette managed to sleep for more than a couple hours. They'd spent the whole night catching up and giggling like idiots and kissing and enjoying the pleasure of being truly alone with each other. Y/n loved those moments with Harry, where everything was just so simple and easy and it was just them having a little fun. They definitely should've been catching up on sleep while they could, but neither of them wanted to, so they stayed up with tired smiles and slurred movements until they heard Collette's cries through the baby monitor.

"It was. We should do that again sometime," Harry said. Taking Y/n's hand, he kissed the tops of her knuckles.

"You just want to go for triplets," Y/n teased, even though she knew that wasn't what he meant.

"I'm not that crazy," he said, but his smile told her he was thinking about the possibility. Maybe just a little. "I'm excited for this."

"Yeah? What do you think? Boys? Girls? A boy and a girl?"

Harry shrugged. "Our track record would suggest girls, but..."

"You never know," Y/n finished for him.

Geneva

"We have some pretty big news to share."

Once a month, the Styles family held a Zoom call with their friends and family who were scattered across the globe. Since lockdown began, there was a lot of adjusting—online school, not being able to go to the park to play, being at home all day. It was a lot for everyone, but Harry and Y/n did their best to make the adjustments smoother. And when they needed a break, they set up the monthly Zoom calls.

They were mostly just to catch up. Once all the children went to sleep, Harry and Y/n stayed up late talking to other adults about everything and nothing, maybe even played a different drinking game or two to round out the night before they went back to being parents. Tonight was a special night, though.

Multiple faces looked at Harry and Y/n expectantly through their computer screen. Both of them were sporting big smiles as Y/n leaned on Harry's side, one of his older sweatshirts covering her body and the almost imperceptible bump that was beginning to show now. Today was the first day she'd begun to show, and Harry nearly lost his mind with excitement. Finding out Y/n was pregnant had been somewhat of a surprise, but when she told him, he was over the moon. He's started to suspect, having recognized some of his wife's symptoms by now, but they'd been waiting for the right time to tell their families and friends, and tonight was the night.

"What's going on, darling?" Anne asked.

Neither Harry nor Y/n could barely contain their excitement, which probably gave away the news before they actually said anything. However, in their own eagerness to share the news, neither of them saw a few people on the call sporting knowing looks.

"We're having a baby!"

Cheers went all around as everyone congratulated the couple. Questions were asked about due dates and how far along they were and what they were going to do about the lockdown situation. Everything was just as Harry had hoped it would be.

And then things took an interesting turn.

"Who won?" Jeff asked.

"Won? What do you mean—"

"If my math is correct, which I'm pretty sure it is, I believe it goes to Gem," Sarah said, looking down at her phone. "She went with three and a half months. Glenne narrowly missed with three. No one had four so it goes to Gemma."

A collective groan went throughout the Zoom, leaving Harry and Y/n very confused.

"Did you place bets on us?" Y/n asked, sounding more astonished than offended.

"When lockdown became permanent, we knew it was a matter of when not if we would be getting the announcement," Jeff explained. "Someone has a physical copy of the pool somewhere."

"And all of you did this? Mum?" Harry said, brows raised higher than Y/n had ever seen them. When Anne nodded sheepishly, Y/n had to stifle a laugh. "So none of you were surprised?"

"I love you, dear, and I'm so so happy for you, but since you were seventeen, anytime you've come to me with big news, it's been about having a baby. For my own sanity, I've just come to expect it."

Harry looked down at Y/n, who was grinning behind her hand. For her husband's sake, her gaze softened as she reached up to kiss his cheek. "I mean, they have a point. Even you guessed it before I told you."

As the shock finally wore off, Harry smiled. He supposed it wasn't the worst thing in the world. So, he and Y/n were predictable, even though they hadn't really been trying this time around. They were in love and had a lot more time together currently. Things were finally back on track for them and their relationship troubles seemed behind them now. They were happy, and as long as his family was happy, some light teasing and bet placing seemed harmless.

He did pin everyone on the screen with a mock glare before moving on, though. "You guys made a whole pool. Really?"

"Yeah. Can you believe Jeff thought it would take eight months for you to get pregnant?"

"It was for the adjustment to lockdown period!"

"Eight months?"

And on and on it went. Harry just smiled and rested his hand over Y/n's belly, thinking about how much it would grow in just a few short weeks.

Natalia

"I want Mommy!"

Harry sighed and pulled his only son into his lap, pushing the curls away from his face and wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I know you do, JuJu."

Harry and the kids were waiting to hear from Y/n's mother, but he hadn't gotten so much as a text. He was anxious, worried that something was wrong, but Julian's crying served as a good distraction for the time being.

Julian continued to cry, still not understanding why he couldn't see his mother when he'd become so used to seeing her everyday. Harry would've been with Y/n had it not been for the little boy's crying, and he made the split-second decision to stay home while Y/n delivered the baby with her mother as support. He'd never missed any of his children's births, but for this, he could stay behind.

"She'll be back soon, bubba, I promise," Harry said, kissing Julian's cheeks and holding him close. "Should we go play with your Lego set? I know you've been excited to build it. Maybe we can build something to show Mummy when she gets home."

Julian shook his head and continued to cry into Harry's neck. Realizing his son was content to be miserable, Harry didn't ask again. He sat with Jules for a while, holding the boy to his chest and running a hand through his hair until his sobs turned into sniffles, and the sniffles into long, slow breaths. He waited a few extra minutes before taking Julian up to his room and setting him on his bed, making sure to place his favorite stuffed animal in his arms before leaving him to sleep off his troubles. As he walked away, Harry sort of wished he could do the same.

Every birth had been different. When Y/n had Simone, it hadn't been extraordinarily long, but it was extraordinarily stressful due to their young age. Collette was a fairly quick birth, perhaps a little too quick, seeing as Y/n barely made it to a hospital bed before the baby started crowning. The twins came early, which was apparently common for twins, but that didn't make it any less surprising to Harry and Y/n, especially because Harry was at the grocery store and Y/n was at the park with Simone and Collette and a nanny who was also there had to call an ambulance. Even still, Geneva's birth was probably the scariest, only because of all the rules and regulations brought on by Covid. Y/n's mother quarantined for two weeks so she could stay at the house while Harry and Y/n went to the hospital, as Y/n could only have one person in the room with her.

And now a year later, they were doing it all over again. Harry had been confident that this birth would go off without a hitch, that everything would be just fine, but the lack of word from his wife or mother-in-law made him nervous.

Later that day, Harry was still waiting. He'd gotten a text from Y/n's mother, which let him know that Y/n still wasn't ready to push but that they were getting close. That was an hour ago, and Harry had to believe that it was all happening now.

And he was missing it.

He knew being here with the rest of his children was important. That they were worried about their mother and probably found Harry's presence comforting. He just wished they could all be there in the waiting room instead of at home and fifteen minutes from the hospital. The not-knowing was killing him, and he was pretty sure his kids could sense it.

"Daddy?"

Harry's eyes flicked to where Collette was standing in the doorway of his bedroom. She was in her pajamas, a shirt and matching pair of bottoms with her favorite cartoon on them. Harry had been pacing around his room, his phone gripped tightly in his hand as he waited for someone to call him, but seeing his second daughter standing there, squinting at the light from his bedside table lamp told him he was up a little later than normal.

"Hi, peanut. What are you doing out of bed?" he asked.

Collette shrugged, her hair catching the light. She wiped at her nose and stepped further into the room until she stood in front of him. "Mommy always braids my hair before I go to sleep."

"She does, doesn't she?" Harry agreed. "She's kind of the best, huh?"

Nodding, Collette turned toward his bed and climbed up on it, looking at him expectantly. Even after having four daughters, Harry wasn't an expert at braiding hair. The girls always went to Y/n before school, and she did each of their braids or ponytails or pigtails happily. Harry always made sure to watch with a keen eye, and practiced on Y/n when she let him. He supposed now it was time to put all his practice to work.

The braiding didn't take long, and Harry didn't do half bad, in his humble opinion. Collette was just going to sleep in it anyway, so he wasn't too bummed by the few loose strands that he'd somehow missed.

He'd finished rather quickly, though Collette didn't slide off the bed to go back to her room. In fact, she nestled under the covers on Y/n's side of the bed, mumbling, "Night Daddy," before falling asleep. Harry didn't really mind. It wasn't the first time one of the kids stayed in his and Y/n's bed, and tonight, he figured he could use some company.

What he wasn't expecting was all of his children to stumble into his room. First it was Maeve, then Jules, then Simone, and finally Harry went to get Geneva, just so it was a proper sleepover. No one fought for space—which was a first. All the kids just found their spot and went back to sleep as if they were in their own rooms. Harry resisted the urge to take a picture so as not to wake anyone up with the flash of his phone's camera.

He hadn't planned on falling asleep. One moment he'd been watching a football game with the volume off, and the next he was blinking his eyes open as the sun began to stream in through the curtains. All of his little ones were still fast asleep, though Harry knew that would change soon. Maeve and Simone woke up early to watch morning cartoons, and Geneva would want her bottle within the hour.

Harry began to shuffle around and prepare for the usual morning routine—brush teeth, ok prepare the bottle, make breakfast for the early risers—when his phone rang. Startled, Harry rushed over to where his phone was plugged in, a huge grin splitting his face when he realized it was a video call from Y/n.

"Hi," Harry whispered, careful not to wake anyone up. "How are you? How's the baby? Is everything—"

"I'm fine, H. Everything's fine. Everything's perfect," Y/n said, a sleepy smile on her face.

Hearing that helped his heart stop racing, but only a little, as excitement flooded his veins. Y/n called him, which could only mean that—

"Wanna meet your daughter?" Y/n said, and even through the phone, Harry could see tears line her eyes.

Harry nodded, too overwhelmed with love and anticipation to form words. Quickly, he found an unoccupied spot on his bed and carefully sat down.

Y/n passed the phone to her mother who angled the phone so that Harry could see the baby, whose face was just barely visible through a pink blanket. He immediately felt tears well in his eyes, his throat going dry as he looked down at his daughter. Even through the phone, he felt every emotion he'd ever experienced when meeting his children for the first time. It was the most unique experience, Harry always thought. He'd seen and done so much, yet he still thought there was nothing like looking down at his newborn baby for the first time.

"Is that baby sister?"

Harry looked behind him to find Julian peering over his shoulder. Jules looked at the sleeping baby curiously, taking in his sister's little nose and tiny fingers and pouted lips. Then, he said, "Is Mommy there too?"

The camera panned up to Y/n, who was smiling and blowing kisses to Julian. "Hi JuJu, my love. I've missed you!"

"Mommy!"

"Mommy?"

"Mommy's home?"

Now everyone was up and crowding around Harry, taking turns talking to Y/n and baby sister, who had yet to be given a name. No one seemed to mind, though. If anything, they were more concerned about when Y/n and the baby would be coming home so they could have a party.

"Soon, my loves. The doctor wants me and the baby to stay one more night to make sure we're healthy. You think you can be good for Daddy?"

There was a chorus of yeses before everyone said their goodbyes, the novelty of a new baby sister wearing off when there were cartoons to be watched downstairs. Harry kept Y/n on the phone while he got Geneva's bottle ready, wanting to stay on the phone as long as possible.

"I know you must be tired," Harry said an hour later. He was in GiGi's nursery and watching her toddle around and play with her toys while talking to his wife.

"I'll hang up soon. I want you to get as much screen time as possible before I go," she said, turning the camera to where the baby was sleeping in the bassinet beside her hospital bed.

"Have you given her a name yet?" he asked.

Y/n shook her head. "I know we decided on one, but I wanted you to be with me when I said it for the first time."

"I love you," Harry said as his heart melted to mush.

"I love you too," Y/n said. She lifted the baby out of the bassinet, cradling her head with the expertise of someone who'd done it for years. Looking at Harry through the phone she said, "You wanna do the honors?"

Laughing out of pure bliss, he nodded. With all the tenderness and care he would've used if he'd been there in person, he said, "Welcome to this crazy, crazy world, Natalia Styles."

[yournowheregirl]

my mind’s been stuck on secret dolly parton fan southern!eddie and suddenly it sprouted 2k of fic so uhhh here ya go? more to follow! (unbeta’d btw) [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6 + complete on ao3]

part 1: jolene

He might not look it, but deep down, hidden beneath the leather jackets and silver chains, Eddie Munson is a good old-fashioned southern boy. If you heard his uncle talk, you’d know he’s not from around Hawkins, but Eddie has mostly hidden his roots over the years. He had traded in his faded blue jeans for ripped black ones, his momma’s country vinyls were hidden away and replaced by heavy metal tapes and his drawl only comes out when he’s drunk out of his mind, calling everyone darlin’ and sweet pea. 

He misses Tennessee sometimes, though he doesn’t remember much. He misses the warmth of the people and the sunshine, he misses the cornbread his old neighbor Mrs. Carter used to make, but he mostly misses his mom. Misses her laugh and the way she tucked him into bed with a song every night, always with the same Dolly Parton song. 

Maybe that’s why he always reaches out to Dolly when he’s feeling down in the dumps. 

And all because of Steve motherfuckin’ Harrington.

He doesn’t really know when it started exactly. Maybe it was back in high school, when Steve just filled out those gym shorts way too nicely. Maybe it was that summer when Eddie kept wandering through Starcourt Mall, hoping to catch a glimpse of Steve in that damn sailor outfit. Maybe it was going through hell and back and somehow coming out alive, matching demobat scars and all. 

He doesn’t know when, all he knows he’s halfway in love with Steve and it’s frustrating to say the least.

Frustrating because he and Steve are somehow friends now and friends apparently talk each other’s ears off about their respective love lives. Including Steve’s endless supply of flirtations with girls at Family Video, just like today.

Steve’s been sweet talking some girl named Emily for the past twenty minutes now, really laying it on thick. Telling her how nice this shirt looks on her, how pretty her eyes look, how she really should find someone to watch Sixteen Candles with. Eddie turns away so that Steve won’t see the way his eyes roll at yet another one of Emily’s adorable little giggles. 

It’s not even justified, the nasty feeling in his stomach, the green snake of jealousy that slithers around his throat. It’s not like Steve is actually his. He’s just Eddie's friend. Eddie’s great, very straight, very much ladies’ man, friend. So Eddie keeps his mouth shut, grips his copy of The Thing a little tighter and pushes that feeling way deep down as the bell dings and Emily disappears through the door.

“Ha! Harrington’s back, baby!” Steve exclaims, pumping his fist in the air.

“What are we celebrating?” Eddie asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“Got a date this Friday.” Steve grins. He wiggles a piece of paper in between his fingers, probably with Emily’s phone number scribbled on it. 

“Nice.” Eddie says with a tight smile, hoping to God that Steve’s still too smitten to notice the way his body has gone all rigid. 

“Yeah, she’s pretty nice isn’t she?” Steve sighs happily. “Just hope she’s the one, y’know? I’m so tired of all those first dates, asking about each other’s siblings and favorite colors and I just… yeah, I just hope she’ll be the one.”

“Rooting for you, man.” Eddie says and oh my God, what kind of bro talk is that? Eddie wants to kick himself, but he just looks away instead, dropping the VHS on the counter.

“Thanks!” 

And he just looks so happy. His eyes glistening with hope, his lips (oh god his lips) turned into a victorious smile, his entire body just exuding confidence. Eddie really shouldn’t be mad at him, not when he looks like that.

Instead Eddie spends the entire drive back to the trailer park fuming and thinking of little miss ‘I-Hope-She’s-The-One’ Emily. Now, his momma raised him to be a gentleman but that vicious snake that made itself home in his stomach makes him want set fire to Emily’s stupidly perfect pleaded skirts. 

He’s so pissed off that he misses the exit that leads to Forest Hill, and instead he just keeps on driving. Past the luxurious villas, past the wide open fields, past the Leaving Hawkins sign. He doesn’t know where he’s going exactly, he just knows he has to leave. 

He only stops when it starts to turn dark outside and he spots a few warm lamps just on the side of the road. After closer inspection, it turns out to be a roadside bar, hidden away beneath some trees. Eddie’s stomach rumbles and he realizes that he hadn’t eaten since noon, so he parks the van and walks towards the bar, aptly named Off-Road.

Once Eddie steps inside, it’s like he’s suddenly back in Tennessee. He’s seeing men in flannel, shooting whiskey at the bar. Women in plaid dresses, dancing along to some honky-tonk song that’s playing on the radio. The wall decorated with all kinds of things that just scream Americana, old-faded photos of farms, a row of cowboy hats, an acoustic guitar on the wall.

He can’t believe what he's seeing, so he almost stumbles over his own feet as he makes his way to the bar.

“Hiya kid. What can I get ya?”

Eddie looks up to see a small, but buff woman standing behind the bar. Her silver hair is cropped short and pulled back by a red bandana and the tassels on her leather vest swivel as she cleans a glass with a dishrag.

“Uh, just a Coke, I guess?” Eddie says. “Do you also serve food?”

“Yeah, mac ’n cheese’s on the menu today.” The woman smiles, busying herself with finding a bottle of coke beneath the counter. “What’s your name kid? I’ve never seen you here before.”

“Eddie.”

“Nice to meet ya, Eddie. My name’s Pat.” Her voice is low and silky smooth, with the southern twang Eddie only hears when his uncle talks. “You from around here?”

“Hawkins.” Eddie nods. “But originally from Tennessee.”

Pat’s face lights up. “No way! Me too! Small world.”

“Yeah, it really is.” Eddie says. “Pat, can I ask… what is this place?”

“Oh this ol’ place?” Pat laughs. “This is just a lil’ home away from home. I’ve moved here for Tish, she’s the one in the green dress over there.” She waves towards the other side of the bar, where a woman with dark curls is scrubbing one of the tables. “But I’ve always missed home, y’know? So, we started this place a couple of years ago, 

“You and Tish are…” Eddie trails off, not sure if he’s put the right puzzle pieces together.

“Tish is my partner, yes.” Pat’s smile fades and gets replaced with a stern look. “You got a problem with that kid?”

“No!” Eddie says quickly, waving his hands in protest. “No, not at all. I’m… I’m also gay, y’know.”

“Tish!” Pat calls out, smiling when Tish looks up. “We got another one!”

“Stop adopting gay kids, Pat!” Tish calls back. “We’re running out of rooms!”

Eddie laughs. He’s gonna like it here.

-xxx-

After Pat’s absolutely heavenly mac ’n cheese, Eddie finds himself relax more and more and for the first time, he lets out his accent without any alcohol in his system. It’s not like anyone will make fun of him for it here, he thinks that Pat probably would encourage him to be as southern as he can be.

He chats with Pat and Tish and some of the other patrons as the time ticks by. Swapping stories about back down south, laughing at things the people here in Indiana just don’t understand, Eddie’s never felt more at home. 

Tish suddenly excuses herself as the bluegrass music on the speakers fades away. Eddie watches as she walks to the little podium in the far back of the bar and announces that the open mic night has begun and that anyone can join. An older man immediately jumps up and grabs the guitar off the wall and starts playing a song that Eddie vaguely remembers from back home.

“D’you play, kid?” Pat asks. “You look like you play.”

“Yeah, guitar.” Eddie replies. “Not like this though.”

“I figured.” Pat snorts. “You don’t really seem like the Willie Nelson type. But you’re welcome to step up and play us something.”

Eddie hesitates. Pat’s right, the music he normally plays doesn’t really fit in here. This is not the Hideout, this is not the place for screaming bloody murder about the injustices of the world and headbang while Gareth smashes the drums. 

Still, he’s feeling strangely drawn to the podium, especially when his mind provides him with a reminder why he drove away from Hawkins in the first place: Steve and perfect little Emily. And suddenly, he knows exactly what song to play. 

“Wish me luck.” Eddie grins at Pat as he stands up from his seat.

“Break a leg, Eddie.” Pat winks and shoots him an encouraging smile.

Eddie makes his way to the other side of the bar, patiently waiting until the older man finishes his song and whooping with excitement once he plays the final chord. The older man smiles at him, grateful, and hands the guitar over to him as Eddie sits down on the stool in front of the microphone.

“Uh, good evenin’ everyone.” Eddie says into the microphone. “It’s my first time here, actually and I, uh, I don’t even know if I can play this song, but let’s try, shall we?”

The room is eerily quiet as Eddie tries to remember the chords from so long ago, the chords his momma used to play on warm summer days in their backyard. 

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene… I’m beggin’ of ya, please don’t take my man.” 

The words feel foreign and yet strangely familiar in his mouth. It’s been so long since he heard this song, but the words just flow out of him easily

“He talks about you in his sleep and there’s nothing I can do to keep from cryin’ when he calls your name, Jolene.” Eddie’s voice is soft, softer than it’s ever been as he tries so hard to push away the images of Steve and Emily, happily together. “And I can easily understand how you could easily take my man. But you don’t know what he means to me, Jolene.”

It feels good, cathartic even, to sing this song. Maybe even better than screaming along to Metallica’s latest album. Not that he’ll ever admit that to anyone, but it’s the truth. There’s no other song right now that understands exactly what he’s going through, that says the things that he wants to say but can’t, not out loud anyway. 

“Please don’t take him even though you can…”

Eddie plays a few more chords until he finally lets the song fade out and the bar burst out into the applause. It’s not the biggest applause he’s ever had (apparently murder charges does wonders for forming a crowd at the Hideout), but it’s definitely in the top three of best post-performance feelings of his life. Maybe because these people just get him, maybe because he can just sing about his feelings for Steve out in the open and no one will judge him or ask any questions about it.

“You got some real talent, kid.” Pat nods as Eddie slides back onto his bar stool.“You’re welcome to come back and sing a little Dolly for us anytime.”

Eddie’s certain that he will.

[i-cant-sing]

I tried a cigarette today (it was for medicinal purpose, legit). Basically, I was with my brother and SIL and we were talking and then one thing lead to another and they suggested to smoke a cigarette (they're both doctors, and im a dentist, we're all smart, responsible adults). But since we're all living together with our parents, we were all up on the roof. My brother got me 2 cigarettes, one for me and one for himself to "demonstrate" how to smoke (he's switched to vape now but he still misses smoking). Anyways, SIL walks in on us and she's like "let me have a few drags too" (shes tried a few cigarettes with her dad) and my brother is just roasting her for not knowing how to smoke properly while I'm on the side, taking drags and he's like "this is snow's first time, why is she doing this better than you???"

Anyways, for those curious, the cigarette tasted really bad, I hated the smell, but since nicotine is a vasodilator, it makes you lightheaded and "relieves stress" and like I get the charm for people who smoke but like... its a no from me. Mostly because of the smell, I hated it.

Anyways, my brother looks at me and he's like "how are you finishing this faster than me???" And I was like taking drags after drags cause i wanted to resolve my medical symptoms, even though I got lightheaded and had to lie down (had to get rid of the evidence first) and we're just looking at my SIL who's complaining why he didn't bring at least a pack lol.

Then mom called us down and they got scolded for something else but didn't dare argue because we were all still smelling like tobacco. And I was asking my brother like I've seen guys smoking whole ass packs minutes before our finals and how can doctors just take this risk knowing how dangerous it is and he's just like "what if this one cigarette causes u to get cancer? Bad luck u know?" why would u say that?????

Overall: 5/10 experience. Hate the smell, did not relieve my problem. Looks cool, aesthetics, good for bonding time????

DON'T SMOKE

[crushedsweets]

do jack and nina still think about their families,,, got me crying in the club for the creeps who still have living family members :((( i love families so mugh

oh all the fucking time. all the time. aaaaall the time. esp cuz nina didnt kill anyone in my au..

jack was the oldest of a big family. had 5 little siblings, two loving parents. mom was a homemaker, had a traditional upbringing filled with warmth and a constant bustling household. he's so ashamed, though. so so so fucking ashamed and he could never go back. he loves them so much and asks toby to bring them flowers or something, since he wants to throw up at the idea of being even a mile within his family... like his very presence would plague them with his own demons . last thing he wants is to hurt them, not anymore than he already did

nina had her little brother chris and two parents. they were INTENSE workaholics, but she was always a daddys girl. spoiled with gifts and clothes and toys, just not attention. so many times, her dad fell asleep on the recliner after a long long shift, and she'd pull up a little blanket and sleep on the couch right besides him. just to be closer to him, since she didnt get to see him all day long. many many nights on the couch. and when they shipped her off to her grandparents, she was fucking HEARTBROKEN. she didnt understand why throwing her away was the solution, and to this day, she resents them for it. she just misses chris so badly. she wants to hold her little brother and cry and apologize for leaving him too. she wasnt the best sister, either, no matter how much she loved him

so i think... um.. i think they make me sad.

[kokushibosbestie]

I need to rant guys.

TW: self harm, SA, hatred, cursing, abuse, overall genuinely harsh words are being used

Im just gonna go right in because I don't feel like being vauge or fake rn. (I'm on my period and I feel like shit)

!!!Background information!!! So, when I was 4, my mom started dating this guy. I'll call him Frank. My mom had previously ran away from my dad with me (when I was 2) bc my biological dad was verbally abusive towards her. We'll call my bio dad Austin. I only have one picture of my bio dad and I never knew what he looked like before seeing that picture. I never got to talk to my dad, and if I did, I don't remember a single word. I was too little to understand. I loved his family though. I vividly remember playing with my grandma and aunt, and baking banana bread with my grandpa (on my bio dads side) but I didn't remember a single moment with him. So I feel like I have a missing part of me bc of that.

Anyway, my mom as very depressed after that and did her best to tale care of me properly. But I never got attention or love from her. She was always stuck to her phone. I began to hate even being in the same room as her and I was only 3. When I turned 4, I began going to pre-k. And that's when my mom started dating Frank. Frank was a really kind guy and always seemed calm. But I had a bad feeling about him. I didn't tell my mom because I felt uncomfortable about it, though. Over the next 2-3 years, Frank and I became closer and I enjoyed his presence because I had no one else to lean on. My mom got a job when I was in 1st grade and we moved into an apartment. (We had been living with my aunt on my moms side before).

!!!SA!!! That's when the sa started. He began to assault me when my mother was gone but told me it was normal. He said, quote "This is our little secret. Don't tell anyone or daddy's gonna get in trouble." (I viewed him as a father figure and he used that to his advantage) Nonetheless, what was I, a 5-6 year old girl going to do to a 26 year old man? So I stayed quiet. As I got older, I realized that this wasn't normal at all and it was bad. Of course, I was about 7 when I had this realization. He noticed that and started threatening me that if I told someone, he'd hurt my mom or the rest of my family. (I love my family with my whole heart and he knew that I'd do anything for them, even at such a young age, so he used that) I told him he could do anything he wanted to me as long as he didn't do anything to my mom or the rest of my (small) family.

The summer before 5th grade is when things went really downhill. He TOLD my mom he cheated on her, was contuously gaslighting the both of us, always said he was such a "good guy and people pleaser," but was probably the most toxic person you'd meet. The sweet act was completely gone. I hated him with ever atom and molecule that made me a living thing, but my mom STILL didn't know about what he'd done to me. He got physically violent (throwing things, yelling, screaming, almost hitting my mom, etc) and my mom called the cops. (Mind you, my mom works from home, customer service for a health company).

By the time 5th grade had ended, we had a restraining order against him and he moved out completely. (They broke up but I still hadn't told my mom anything)

I cried almost every night and went into deep depression because of this. Not because I missed him, but because I had still trusted him even after everything. I did love him and view him as a father figure at one point bc I never had one. So having that ripped away from me, as well as my grandpa who moved, my grandma who was having mental issues, my aunts who lived far away and no one else to turn to, I felt empty. My guilt built up until I ended up having a mental breakdown in FRONT of my mom (I always went somewhere private so I could have a mental breakdown and always hid them from my mom). I snapped and accendentally told her about what he'd done to me during all those year. (He sa'd me constantly, whenever he had the chance to). A court case began, blah blah blah same old stuff that ever child abuse court case would go through.

But, I started to self-harm (mostly my legs and hips). I kinda went into my emo faze and had no friends, and was constantly bullied bc of my emotionless facade. (Ex: like giyu, who has been my comfort character since day one bc of that). Really, I'm a loving and kind person who loves making others laugh. I like hanging out with friends. I smile a lot too.

Nonetheless, things started to slowly get better. But my mom is toxic now. She doesn't gaslight like frank did, but she still has a toxicity to her. I know this all has been just as hard on her as it has for me, but I sometimes wish shed just take into consideration how I feel or think.

I have ADHD, OCD, and depression. All of my classes are accelerated classes instead of normal and I get things done faster than other students. (I have an online schooling system now). My brain sometimes can't comprehend some things but will understand easily with others. Ive had a hard time talking or expressing things because of this. I was never a quiet little girl, and I'm still not one as a teenager. But it sucks to have to act like someone I'm not just to fit in. I have constant mood swings and I hate it.

Anyway, this isn't about me. So, my mom has a way of victimizing herself without really pulling the victim card? It's hard to explain with words. But she always leaves whoever she's talking to feeling guilty. She doesn't apologize for anything, she doesn't listen to me when I'm ranting (which I'm not picky about, but sometimes I need someone to talk to that isn't a toxic friend of mine), nor does she ever listen to me when I tell her what I want sometimes. I know that sounds bratty, but I swear it's not. I'll give you and example: she asked me if I wanted a new bedframe and entirely ignored me when I told her. Or when she asks me what I want for dinner and I respond, shell get something else even though she literally came into my room and ASKED me. Its the simple small things that piss me off. She's stubborn and has a hard time putting herself in others' shoes. And me, who's always been told that I'm just a doll with a pretty face and thick thighs that's supposed to be a silent housewife (I am NOT married, that's just something someone has actually said to me) or seggs toy for people to use and throw away as they please, I always try my best to consider how others might feel. Yeah, sometimes I do get a little unreasonable and say some bad things, but I always end up apologizing out of instinct. I apologize for the smallest things for no reason, yet my mom can't even say an "I'm sorry" for telling me I'm not understanding. All I've ever wanted was to make my mom and my family proud. I want them to be able to live their lives happily without worry. So It fucking hurts to hear that I'm not doing good in my moms eyes.

My mom always talks about changing and being a better person but never fucking does it. She always says her job is more important. Am I just genuinely not important to her anymore? Because I remember when I was in my darkest and lowest moments, it was my teachers who helped me. My mom didn't even bat an eye. But when she was at her lowest, struggling, I was always there for her, listening to her problems, helping her with everything, genuinely caring about her. And this is what I get back? I fucking hate my life because I can't even leave my room without hearing her complaints about "adult life." Well I don't give a fuck anymore. I tried too hard to be a good daughter and I never got anything back. I didn't even get a fucking thank you. And now I only have online friends on here and Pinterest. I relied on Character.ai to help with my mental health and that's ai!!

Im sorry if this was too much for any of you and I love each and every one of you. If you read through this whole thing, thank you so much and I really really love all my friends on here. I always look forward to getting on here and talking to you guys about my interests without being judged or bullied. Thank you thank you thank you soooo much my loves.

💖💖💖

[hannahhook7744]

Rise of Red Rewrite Brainstorming;

I'm rewriting Rise of Red to make it fit into my version of the disney descendants and am at the brainstorming phase. But I'm stuck on a couple of things and need feedback.

Here are the differences first:

1. So first off, Bridget and Ella didn't go to school at the same time (because I'm trying to make it fit up in the timeline and match the other things we knew previously).

This is because I'm pretty sure it was mentioned the heroes went to school together at some point and if Alice is old enough to have a teenage daughter in the same high school as Ella's oldest son then she's likely around Ella's age. Which means they probably went to school around the time, either together or a few years apart.

(Whether that be college or high school doesn't really matter).

It also fits Bridget having three kids instead of one in my au too.

Right now I'm figuring out if her husband was at school with her and was her only friend in Ella's place or if she was friendless in school, and ended up marrying him so she could obtain the throne.

Either way she'll have her siblings but I'm not sure how they become strained as of yet.

2. Uliana's gang still exists at the same time as Bridget.

Did the math to figure out if this would work and it ended up working.

Peter Pan takes place in 1904 from what I can tell (going off the movie that is).

Alice in wonderland takes place sometime in mid to late 1800s.

The little mermaid takes place mod to late 1800s.

And Morgie's mom, Morgana Le Fay is a part fae in some tales. Fae live longer than humans so it's entirely possible for her to have a young child around the same time.

Assuming Maleficent, Hades, and maybe Persephone were de-aged around that time the group can both exist and go to school around the same time as Bridget.

They also all still go to the old version of Merlin Academy (it still exists today, it just split off from Auradon Prep and is now a Camelot exclusive school).

Also Hook is still a pirate, after getting kicked out of his Naval School, and has been to the Neverland but he doesn't have his Hook yet.

This is possible because his mother, as shown in Jake and the Neverland Pirates, was a teacher at Neverland Academy. So he's been to Neverland and is a somewhat feared pirate (not too much so though because he's still a teenager and Peter Pan won't exist for another few years yet).

Also Hook has a brother here because I remember somewhere he had one and I thought it would be fun. He also is friends with the three Smee brothers (one of which isn't a pirate since Smee has a great nephew in Auradon in 'the school of secrets' web series) but isn't as close with them as he is with Uliana's gangs (because they and the few other pirates hanging around are mainly just lackeys to him atm).

3. The girls (and their friends) don't just travel to one time period.

Did this so they could both still see teen Ella even though I have no idea what to do with that plot point just yet.

4. Chad is missing for a few years (cause I started my rewrite idwa with that plot in mind ages before the flim even came out).

5. Glass Hearts is canon (it could be pre Glass Hearts or Glass Hearts happens in the middle or epilogue).

6. The characters are slightly redesigned and they were friends before the QoH's hostile siege of Wonderland.

7. Either Chloe and Red (and friends) are eighteen or Wonderland has been under control of the QoH for only six years timeline wise. Haven't decided.

8. Queen of Hearts was on the isle.

9. Ace and Chester and other Wonderlandian next gen members are mentioned/maybe saved at some point (doesn't affect Glass Hearts outcome at all).

Now. On to the point/points where I'm stuck:

1. I can't decide whether they fix things with one go around of the past or if they have to go back to fix an error they made.

I don't want Bridget never having turned evil to be the permanent outcome because yes, while that seems like a good outcome it really isn't.

For Red anyway.

I don't know how many of you have seen back to the future and I guess even if you had it doesn't really get dwelled on for long but....

Marty remembers changing the past.

He remembers the original timeline only.

His first one, the one he grew up in.

He doesn't remember this new great timeline where his parents never fell out of love, his siblings are successful, Bif is kept in check by Mr. And Mrs. McFly, and everything in his life is great.

Everyone else does except him.

And I think the same would probably be true for Red based on what we saw.

She doesn't remember her mom being loving growing up.

She doesn't remember her mom baking her cupcakes or being nice to the people of wonderland.

She doesn't remember a mother who never transfigured her friends (happened in the book) and who never would stage a coup at her daughter's soon to be school.

She doesn't remember a mother who shows love a healthy way.

She remembers the QoH.

The woman who had strict out of pocket rules and even stricter, harsher punishments like transfiguring people into mindless beings and chopping off their heads.

She remembers the woman who told her _love wasn't it'. That it didn't exist. A woman who, whether she realized it or not, was basically telling her own daughter that she didn't love her or her daughter's other parent.

So while Red now has a loving mother its not everything she imagined. Because Red can't forget her actual mother and all she did, and in this new timeline where her mother didn't do any of that, will never get the apology she so desperately deserved and wanted.

She can't remember this nice woman as her mother. Just as Bridget, the nice girl she went to school with briefly.

She can't remember all the lovely things they supposedly did with the rest of the family.

And it's driving her up the wall.

Red knows it's not fair to be mad at this Bridget for the stuff her real mom did.

She knows it's not fair to lash out at her for what the other her did.

But she's angry and scared and can't remember any of the things she wanted and now has.

And she hates it.

She hates that she finally has what she wanted. She hates that she hates this nice woman for things she didn't do (because Red and Chloe stopped it before she snapped) and she hates her father for being different too.

(I based her dad entirely off the one from the animated movie even though Bridget is the same as in ROR so bare with me).

She hates that her cowardly father who was her favorite parent in the other timeline before she got older and started to resent him is happier and a better dad here.

Hates that this one doesn't cower away from her mother.

That this one is just as happy and perky as the new adult Bridget and that he never stood by while she and her older siblings were worked to the bone, and yelled at and stripped of their joy as their mother became a tyrant.

She hates how he's happier here and louder, and just..

Red hates how unfair it is that this wasn't her life all along and that she can't enjoy it now that it is.

But she's stuck.

Not literally but mentally.

She's stuck on what to do.

She should be happy.

She was never ripped away from her friends or abused here.

And now she has the family she always wanted.

A loving mother who indulges her interests and loves her as a person, and who doesn't yell all the time and hurt their people. A mother who was never hurt and who never turned evil enough to be sent to the isle.

A father who isn't too afraid of her mother to do right by her and her siblings, and their people.

Aunts and uncles who were actually in her life and not against her parents.

And a no longer depressed older sister (named Quinlynn) who, since she's never even been to the isle, isn't depressed over having lost two people she thought were the love of her life and friends she never should have had to outlive so young.

It's only after she realizes that her family is so different from what she remembers that she realizes it isn't complete. Someone is missing.

Her older brother is missing.

It takes one question to her parents for her to realize why he (Hart/Hardy) is missing and why he hasn't been home in the weeks (or less) she and Chloe have been back.

It's because she doesn't have a brother. Not. In. This. Timeline.

Her annoying conflict-avoidant-when-it-came-to- their-mother-only pirate of a brother didn't exist.

Her family didn't know his name.

Uma and her crew didn't know Red (hadn't watched her grow up), and didn't know who she was talking about it.

Why this is, she doesn't know.

Doesn't know whether it's because her parents were happy and off the isle.

Doesn't know if it's because the rumors are true and her brother's REAL other parent is on the either (she heard that he was her mother or father's affair baby but had never believed it before now).

She doesn't know or care why it is. Just that it is.

So now, she's already in a dilemma.

Either she goes back with or without Chloe and allows whatever prank that broke the camel's back to turn her mother evil again and gets her brother back.

Losing this happy, carefree version of her sister and the happy, loving parents (and extended family) she'd always wanted.

Turning her back on teen Bridget, who was so nice and kind and the adult Bridget who thanks to her stayed that way.

Or she turns her back on her brother. Accepting this new loving family and this strange happy version of her sister and life that will never be hers.

Letting go of her mentors (the Badun Detective Agency in my au) and her non-Wonderlandian friends who weren't with her and Chloe and the others when they time traveled.

Accepting a world that isn't truly hers and basically killing her brother.

(Sorry for the ramble).

So either:

1. They only meet Bridget (and no one else) and stop the prank—only to see that she still turned evil due to something that happened after they left.

But they arrived just in time to steal her cards and stop her coup, and the qoh is arrested. Allowing for Red to be placed in her siblings custody and for her to be deemed a hero, ensuring that what would have been a rough time at school had the coup been staged before it could be prevented doesn't happen/isn't as bad.

Fixing the present on one go without any need to go back.

It doesn't solve the problem of Chad's disappearance or allow for Chloe to meet a slightly disillusioned version of her young mom.

It doesn't include the above mentioned angst but includes the angsty idea that nothing could have been done for her mother without removing Uliana's gang from the equation (which, given who exactly is in the gang isn't really an option).

But it's a quick fix with a mostly happy ending. One even better if you figure in that maybe what QoH did to Ace and Chester isn't permanent and can be reversed.

Red will have her friends and siblings back, get taken away from her parents, have an actual social life in school, and get to fall in love with Chloe.

Chloe's saved her parents. Saved Auradon Prep. She doesn't have her brother back but it's maybe starting to heal from his disappearance, and maybe with Red and their friends by her side she can find him.

It's not perfect but it's bittersweet. A mostly happy ending.

Or

2. They met Bridget, stopped the prank, and then met Ella.

Either making her life worse somehow OR intervening a little too early.

Getting Ella out of her abusive home situation and of course, not thinking anything of it because it's the right thing to do. Thinking instead that now the future's gonna be the best because now Chloe's mom has a little less trauma and didn't have to deal with her stepmother's wicked meddling with time this time around.

Only they get to the future.

And Bridget is still nice and loving (which, again brings its own angst that mentioned before) to her (now two instead of three) kids, husband, and siblings as well as her subjects.

Meaning Maddox didn't lose his father to a transfiguration punishment and that his job is now easier.

But things are now worse for almost everyone else who went back in time.

Danny Darling's mom is even more traumatized because somehow something THEY did ended up with one of her brothers dead and doesn't let him or his two older siblings out of her sight.

Shan Deja's father is meaner because Hades and Maleficent, and several others give him a harder time than they did in the original time line on the isle.

Snow White, having now no longer gone to school with Ella and having lost that connection, is more anxious and paranoid than before and stopped her daughter Sophie (Glauco's older sister) from becoming Yen Sid's apprentice. This somehow leading to Glauco getting turned into a tree sooner and not being turned back, unlike the original timeline.

Which means his parents don't recognize his teen self and refuse to believe he isn't pulling some cruel prank on them.

Edith, Hadie's cousin and Eris' daughter,'s mom is now apathetic to her existence when before she was loving because now Hades isn't her friend.

And, as for Hadie and Chloe?

Simple: they, like Red's brother, don't exist in this timeline.

Why?

Well, because since Chloe and Red intervened and got Ella away from the Tremaines sooner it changed things.

Like: Drizella and Anastasia never got redeemed, never made up with Ella just to get sent to the isle anyway, and never met their husbands ( a redeemed Hans Westergaard for Drizella and the baker for Anastasia). Which means their children never got to exist even when they got sent to the isle earlier.

Lady Tremaine's reputation was publicly in ruin and the house was seized and held until Ella turned 19.

By then, instead of Ella having met her Fairy Godmother and getting to meet her Prince Charming she instead received her house.

Getting an education and a pseudo family in the form of the baker's family that took her in but never finding love.

Prince Christopher, unwilling to marry someone he doesn't love, ran away never to be seen again. Leaving his father heartbroken and the kingdom in disarray after he dies.

Chad is no longer missing and he still exists but he was never adopted here.

Meaning he never went to Auradon Prep and never met his friends or the vks. Never became a prince, never became disgraced, and never disappeared into the night never to be seen again when Chloe was ten because she didn't exist and he wasn't a Charming.

He wasn't anyone important to anyone.

Because he'd never been adopted and had found the birth parents who didn't want him, and was turned away.

Because he aged out of the orphanage (the one that was no longer named after their mother's story) and now is nothing like the boy Chloe remembers. Any version of him.

He isn't the kind, excitable struggling boy who loved her to death he was before their grandfather died and before her heart condition got worse and their parents got busier fighting for their step-aunts and their children to be released from the isle.

He's not the teenage Chad little Chloe had built up in her head during the times he rarely came home and avoided her like the plague. The cool one who did no wrong who everyone loved and who found and sat with her under the table she'd hidden under after Dragon Maleficent attacked during Ben's coronation when she was eight.

He's not the heartbroken, cries himself to sleep Chad that he was after Audrey broke up with him.

Or the healing (becoming less of an asshole) Chad that went to Jane's birthday only to come back a cowering, heartbroken mess that could hardly stand to be around Audrey anymore, falling into depression Chad who Hades dumped water on less than a year later at Bal's wedding (the same night Chad would disappear).

And he certainly wasn't the Chad that Chloe had only gotten to know after her brother had vanished into the night.

He wasn't an asshole or a bully, or a cheater who was slowly becoming a more tolerable person.

No. This Chad was none of those.

No, instead... This Chad was quiet and broken. With no friends, no family. No job and no home.

And Chloe, despite very much still being alive and breathing and not disappearing doesn't exist by any records and can't help him because he doesn't know her, and no one would believe her if she tried to tell them anything.

A problem which Hadie is also having.

Because in this timeline instead of a de-aged Maleficent, Hades, and Persephone all growing up and their poly three turning into just Hades and Persephone when Maleficent grew more power hungry...

Well, instead of that, a de-aged Persephone saw the aftermath of an even CRUELER prank that they were involved with and broke up with both Maleficent and Hades like her mother had always wanted. Cutting out their friend group as well and turning her backs on them, going back to her mother and begging to be aged back to her actual age.

Leaving Hades and Maleficent to never break up, and to only get meaner. Ruling the isle together with their friends and raising Mal.

Mal, who despite having no reason to, still comes out pretty much the same. She still chooses good. She still has the same friends and still marries Ben. Only now, she has two lizard parents who let her down and no little brother.

Because Persephone and Hades never had Hadie.

Sure, they had his three oldest siblings before they got de-aged and sure, Maleficent and Hades still had Mal.

But because Persephone and Hades didn't out last Maleficent and Hades, Hadie wasn't born.

Which of course, means they have to go back and fix both of the things they messed up and live with all of all of that knowledge.

Now after that, I'm not sure if I should end it with them just fixing all of that and nothing else.

Or if I should go into my other idea which I combine with this one.

Which is that after they fix whatever they did to mess up their parents stories, they end up landing somewhere in the past and discovering that...

Chad is somehow there.

A grown up version of Chloe's original brother.

A grown up version of Chloe's brother who should not be in a Wonderland bar, serving drinks and several years older than he should be.

They find out that he disappeared into the past on purpose out of shame and because be didn't wanna ruin their family's good name and maker things harder on Chloe than they already were.

They somehow convince him to come back to the future with them.

Only for their meddling to send them smack dab right in the middle of the Queen of Hearts hostile take over of WONDERLAND (six to eight years in Chloe and Red's past).

A couple of months before their Chad ended up in Wonderland.

There's a battle, someone gets hurt, and after some more meddling with the past, the group ends up in a better future.

Red's friends are all human again.

Red and Chloe are apparently dating.

And so on.

(This is probably headache inducing but I wanted to brainstorm and this was fun).

[emotelizardrambling]

Idea started after reading this post

I love their take, but I thought it would be even more interesting if SugarBoo was close friends with one boy and actually had a bit of a grudge or a more frenemies relationship with the other.

So here is what I came up with so far:

I have a vastly over complicated backstory for my BitterSweet OC, but I am trying to stick to what is relevant. Fair warning, though, It is still pretty long.

SB's mom ran away with them, from their wealthy (but emotionally abusive) father, when they were about 4 or 5. The two ended up in the town where BitterSweet takes place.

SB immediately hit it off with Seth. The two became best friends and were practically joined at the hip for the next 9(ish) years. There was only one major thing they ever seemed to disagree on. Alphonse.

At first, the trio got along alright even if SB was sometimes pretty overwhelmed by Alphonse's energy. As Seth grew closer to Al, however, SB started to realize they were jealous. They tried to just distance themself from the two a little, but Al decided he liked SB right away and would not leave SB alone.

When they started trying to ignore him, he did what way too many little boys do when their first crush doesn't pay attention to them. He started teasing them.

[Note: I can't really see Alphonse becoming a real bully to SB. I could see him teasing them about little things just to get them riled up, though, and I can imagine that, occasionally, a young Al might go a little too far and actually hurt SB's feelings. At which point Seth would tell him off, and Al would do something cute to apologize, and the two would go back to their strange little rivalry.]

By middle school you had Seth with a huge crush on Al but confused as to why he and SB can't seem to get along, SB with a huge crush on Seth but knowing he has a crush on Al who is kindof an ass to them, and Al who had a huge crush on SB but is stuck squarely in the frenemy zone.

Before that mess can be sorted out, though, SB's father found them and their mother and allowed (forced) them to come back to him.

Al and Seth had no idea what happened for months until SB managed send them a letter (through Al's parents) explaining how sorry she was that she never got to sag goodbye and that she hadn't wanted to leave. Not wanting her father to find out about Seth (or Alphonse) or for their friends to see how "Sarah Beth" had to look and behave under their father's thumb, that was the only contact the friends had for a very long time.

After becoming an adult, SB managed to convince (blackmail) their father to leave them alone and made their own way in the world. (With a very solid safety net of hush money.)

They moved to the city, and eventually moved in with a long-term romantic partner, before finally running into Seth again.

Turns out they had been living in the same city for months, but now Seth was just tying up loose ends before he moved back to their hometown to be with Alphonse.

[Note: In this universe, Derek got hit by a truck before ever meeting Seth's mom, and Seth and Al never actually joined the gang. Instead, both worked odd jobs and worked for a long time at a nightclub. Because Seth didn't need to freak out (as much) when Al had to move back to their hometown, the two are still together.]

SB was pretty devastated to hear Al's parents had passed away. SB had always liked the couple, and they always kept Al from poking fun at SB when they were around.

SB and Seth got coffee, caught up, and exchanged contact info. They started regularly texting and chatting online, gradually reforming their long missed friendship.

This would go on for months until Al picked up the shop's landline just before he closed for the night, only to hear SB crying on the other end.

That's where I need to end this post. Sorry about the (sort of) cliffhanger. I actually already wrote a chapter or so of what happens after this, but it needs editing, and all this would kind of be needed for context anyway, so I decided to put it out into the Tumblrverse.

[something-about-sunflowers]

I kinda feel like too many people aren't looking at the whole picture with Guillermo and Nandor/his family this season?

Guillermo knows, to a certain extent, that it's hurting Nandor that he's avoiding him. He just can't not avoid him because of the whole 'secretly turned by another vampire and Nandor will have to kill him then himself for the sake of his bruised honor/ego' thing.

Guillermo is also hurting though. His attempt to take some agency for himself by actively pursuing something he's wanted since before he even met Nandor has massively backfired on him in every possible way he couldn't even begin to expect. He didn't know he'd have a Weird Transformation. He didn't know there was some taboo for having another vampire turn him as Nandor's familiar (and he's not actually Nandor's familiar anymore anyway, technically, they're all just dumb and forgot that fact). He, comparatively, only recently found out about the whole Van Helsing thing and that his family can't control themselves around vampires (though I feel like it probably will be different with their Memo, if we're being honest), so he very likely thought for most of his time waiting for Nandor to turn him that he'd still be able to see them occasionally and get/give closure over a longer period of time before he had to stop seeing them when it became obvious he wasn't aging like they were.

He does care about his mom, yall, did you miss him breaking down in the elevator or were you just distracted by him breaking the hand-rail? He's just been very preoccupied with a whole lot of drama (Which he complained about! He told Nandor how upset he was that the wedding and Baby Colin were keeping him too busy to see his family! The end of season 4 was days before the start of season 5.) and an extreme life change. He's an adult. That kind of shit happens when you're an adult (granted, his situation is significantly more fantastical given the whole vampires thing but still). Sometimes you get caught up in your adult life and you miss your mom's birthday. Sometimes you make a big life change that you think is what's best for you and it means you won't be able to be as close to your family. Yes. It's selfish of him - to an extent - but for fuck's sake you can't live your life for other people, even - especially, in some cases - if those people are your family. I'm kind of appalled at people saying that he's deserving to feel bad and rejected because he made a choice for himself. Do you think his mom is blaming him as harshly as some of you are? No! The first thing she asked him was 'are you happy with this change?' She cares about her son's happiness. He's not entirely in the right but fuck do yall know how to do anything but swing hard in the other direction? There's grey areas! All in the middle! Right there, look!!

And then on top of him already being extremely emotionally compromised from reckoning with having to leave his family behind, on top of the already 'emotionally difficult' avoiding Nandor for both of their sakes, he gets another big rejection in his own home from the people he cares most about. I don't know if Nandor noticed that his rejection hurt Guillermo. He's dumb but I really don't know if he's that dumb. He's been able to recognize in the past when he's hurt Guillermo so I don't see why he couldn't now. Are yall gonna blame Memo for feeling bad if Nandor decides to do something to try and win him back or cheer him up? Or if Nandor is upset/worried about having hurt Guillermo?

I don't really know where I'm going with this anymore lmao. My point is: Yes, Guillermo's choice is hurting people but it's also hurting him and he's been hurt for a while now and hurt people hurt people (which is why Nandor lashed out too!) so cut him a little bit of slack maybe? He didn't do anything to intentionally hurt anyone he just wanted to take some agency back for himself that he's been missing for like. Ten. Thirteen years or so now.

[cafeinthemoon]

Ruins - Part XVIII

Chapter 18

Wordcount 2,3k

Title Part XVIII

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17

Symbols ⭕ . ➕. 💛

Warnings: none

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: So... its been a while lol First, let me tell you that this time I've spent without posting on social media was important, because I was really tired. I was stressed from work, I started college and was worried about all of this, so I barely had the time or the energy to sit in front of the notebook and write something, or even edit my drafts. I was feeling saturated from it, and sensed that if I continued to do it, the results, that is, the next chapters of my ffs, would be trash. I hope you understand this time.

This chapter is like a transition, and that's why it's short compared to others. The next one we will finally have the process of marriage and the rest, which I've been wanting to work on for too long! Now I'm really excited for that! So have this brief update and I see you in the next one :)

You didn’t wait until they approached your spot, neither you said anything to express your surprise: once you laid your eyes on them, you let go of Hades’ hand and, without waiting to see if he was going to follow you, you started running toward the group. There was no mistake: there you had your parents, your sisters and your niece, all of them marveled by the vision of the Gardens and cheered up by the fact that you were the first person they met once they crossed the Gates.

Your happiness deepened when you reached them at last: they were all well dressed and had refreshed expressions, indicating that, as much as your own travel to those lands, theirs was far from tiring despite the distance between Valhalla and Midgard.

As a little child who were left in a neighbor’s house for an entire day, once you saw your mother, you passed straight by a surprised Hermes and threw yourself in her arms. All the thoughts, anxieties and expectations you carried that morning came back at once, and you just started to cry.

– Mom – you mumbled – Is that really you, mom?

Though she responded to your gesture with equal emotion, even she was surprised with all those tears.

– My baby! – she laughed – You’ve missed us this much?

– You have no idea – you whispered back, now looking into her eyes.

Your father, who was watching everything with diversion, approached you two, and you opened your arms to hug him too.

– Y/n-chan, is it just me or are you a bit taller since the last time we’ve saw you? – he joked, putting his hand upon your head – What have they been feeding you?

You laughed until you were breathless: not only you’ve long passed the period of growth, but you were also the shortest among your sisters for most of your lives, and that has been a matter of interest for your father since you were, in fact, little. You used to get angry with this in the beginning, but later you’ve learned to send the provocation back to him, just like you did that time.

– Well, maybe you’ve became shorter, dad. It’s just a matter of perspective!

Everyone laughed, and you finally turned to your sisters.

Luna, who, just like you, shared physical resemblance with your mother, was dressed in blue and had her hair tied in a single, long braid; Helena, who was more like your father, had a pair of big eyes glowing with all the things she was seeing, and a curly hair left untied, spreading around her shoulders, where she had a rosy shawl to protect her against the evening’s breeze. Though she was way younger than you, she has passed you in height, and everything indicated that she would keep growing.

Luna was the one holding Ellie, your niece, and the baby let out a sequence of little screams when you arrived, eager to get your attention. She started laughing when you took her in your arms and the girls came to hug you.

– How are you doing, girls? – you asked between the hugs – You’ve never looked so beautiful!

– The same could be said about you – it was Helena’s calm response.

You laughed.

– They have really good cosmetics around here!

– I’m willing to try them, then! – Luna commented, enthusiastic.

Still holding the baby, you finally turned to Hermes.

– Thank you so much for bringing them here, Hermes-sama. It’s the best gift you’ve ever gave to me.

The gods’ messenger, always in his composed manners, nodded.

– I was just doing my job, y/n-san.

Ellie was the first to see when Hades approached, pointing at him with a curious expression. You turned and immediately felt the heat coming up to your cheeks: you’ve got so excited when you saw your relatives that you just left him behind, and only then you realized that this wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do, for despite being his bride and having built a strong, intimate bond with him, you were still human and he was a god, and that could be seen as offensive for anyone who would hear of this.

With this in mind, you stepped ahead and were going to apologize for your behavior, but you had no chance, for you were no longer the focus of the group: while Luna and Helena stared at him with a mixture of curiosity and fear, your parents, immediately understanding they had another divine being before them, bowed their heads in respect.

You soon took the responsibility of doing the presentations.

– So… This is Hades-sama, from Greece – you spoke in a low, shy manner – He’s the King of the Underworld and, as Hermes-sama might have informed you, my future husband.

Hades, now by your side, smiled with sympathy.

– It’s a beautiful family you have, y/n – and, approaching your parents and putting one hand on each one’s shoulders, – You are the family of my future wife. You bow to no one.

Their faces brightened up at those words, said in a soft, comforting tone, and you felt a sort of pride with the scene: if there was any chance of your family not accepting your relationship or not trusting him – after all, that marriage meant taking you away from them and to Hellheim – it disappeared the moment they were treated with genuine respect. You mother, in particular, was satisfied with what she was seeing, which you noticed in the clear message you’ve caught in her eyes: being the responsible for three girls who would soon start their own lives out of her guardianship, it was only natural that the kind of people with whom they’d chose to live was among her biggest worries, and, whatever she was expecting in this sense, to see one of her girls becoming a god’s wife was beyond her imagination; but, if you were happy with this, she wouldn’t ask for more.

Hades greeted your sisters with manners that reminded you of the old gentlemen you used to see in important events at your city, nodding and making brief comments about their beauty. You and the girls always made fun of this, because the old – and, many times, uninteresting – men were the only ones who would behave like this, but having that polite, handsome man making use of those manners without the affectation typical of those other ones convinced them of the honesty of his words, and that left them ecstatic.

Finally, he turned to you and to your niece, who has been observing him with attentive eyes since he arrived and had no problems in being picked up by him, laughing and stretching her little arms to the stranger who received those gestures with diversion.

– And this is my niece, Ellie – you introduced the baby while passing her to his hands; and, with a playful smile, – I guess she likes you!

– Me or my earring? – he asked in return, laughing as he tried to keep the girl’s hand away from his ear; and, to her, – Your curiosity surpasses my expectations, little one!

Though Ellie clearly didn’t understand what curiosity or expectations meant, she seemed to enjoy being held by Hades more than by yourself, because, after playing with her for a moment, she refused to return to you when you tried to pick her back, provoking everyone’s laughter.

And, as expected, your mother was the first to verbalize her opinion on this.

– You have a way with small children, my Lord! That’s surprising, to say the least!

Hades turned to her with a sort of prideful, nostalgic smile.

– I am the eldest of four brothers – he let Ellie hold his index finger – I still remember when each of them were just like Ellie-chan.

Hermes, who was observing everything in silence, was the first to reply that time.

– Let’s pray that this conversation never reaches Poseidon-sama’s ears, uncle.

– I agree with you, Hermes-sama – you, the only human there who met Poseidon, completed with a clever smile.

***

Hermes led your family to rooms on the wing of the apprentices on the human lodge, so that you would stay close to them for the entire period of their stay. It was established that, while your parents would have one room for themselves, your sisters and the baby would stay in a contiguous one, both located on the floor under your own room; to access them, you’d only need to walk down the stairs and cross a corridor for a few meters.

Just like the apprentices, they were all allowed to visit the Gardens and take their meals at the common room, and they enjoyed each opportunity in that sense. Well, actually, your parents decided to turn their stay at the blessed lands into a second honeymoon, something that was first pointed out by Helena and confirmed by you and Luna when you saw them walking with their hands entwined in the Gardens in the next morning of their arrival; your sisters, on their turn, had no difficulties in making friends with the other girls, particularly with Heracles’ disciples, so that later he came to express his contentment in knowing this, stating that you were lucky to have such excellent siblings.

***

Those days spent in the company of your beloved ones were the happiest since your arrival at the divine lands: having your relatives and the man you loved in the same place, and seeing them getting along, was more than your could ask for, even when you knew it wouldn’t last forever.

About this, you already have established your opinion, which was discussed later.

You were taking care of your flowers at the Green House. Your garden, by the way, was growing larger, and that only added to your contentment.

That afternoon, you were upon a small staircase, watering the flowers above your table, when you heard the door opening; you recognized the visitor’s steps and smiled.

– You’re late – you warned him as you walked down the stairs and put the watering can on the floor, beside the table, then crossed your arms to pretend irritation – We were supposed to to take a walk at the Gardens… but this was half an hour ago.

Hades, who was in fact the visitor, walked around the table and stopped by your side, surrounding you with his arms.

– Will you forgive me for this small crime, little one, if I reveal my reasons to you?

You shrugged.

– You can try.

As you imagined, he was with your parents.

– We’ve spent a wonderful time together – he explained – During which interesting conversations happened.

Your face heated up with that.

– Well, if these conversations didn’t include my parents narrating embarrassing episodes of my childhood that I intended to keep out of your knowledge, it’s okay for me.

This caused laughter from your partner, who replied that he then preferred to stay silent about the topics of the said conversations.

***

You had your arms leaning on the wood guardrail as your eyes followed the stream passing under the bridge. The murmur of the water, as sweet as the first time you heard it, was now like the music from a dream, from a memory you’ve long lost and then happily retrieved: yes, you were revisiting the places of the garden where you met for the second time, and now you were in the middle of that bridge where you had your first conversation about your dreams. Those events happened months ago, but to you it hasn’t been more than a few days, and the emotions you’ve experienced that day were vivid inside you.

Apparently, Hades had similar feelings towards it, and he showed it to you: you felt his fingers brushing your hair, then his hands bringing you closer, for a hug.

– Your mood seems lighter now that you have your family here, my y/n – he kissed the top of your head – The time you’ve spent with Heracles was really worth it.

– Indeed, it was – you murmured, passing your arms around his waist – Honestly, I feel even better now that they’re here. If I was scared by all the reasons I’ve told you before, now I know that it was silly of me to be afraid. There’s only room for happiness in my heart these days. Heracles-sama taught me to value the time I have with them instead of concentrating in the future days, in a time when they won’t be with me. And this is what I’m trying to do right now.

– A wise choice – Hades commented – And, judging by what I’ve learned from your parents, they must have the same view on this question. Have you already talked to them about it?

You sighed and moved away from his hug.

– Not yet. I know I have to do this, and they’re probably waiting for something of this type, but I’m still nervous about taking the first step.

– Well, if this helps, you can try to find a chance to bring out the subject during an informal moment. You know, sitting around a table and discuss things like a meeting between monarchs is quite stressful.

You turned to him with a frown.

– This is something stressful for you? – and, with a giggle, – You never told me that!

His lips stretched in a smirk in response.

– There are a few things I still haven’t told you, my girl. For example… – you felt his hand surrounding your waist and bring you back to him – I was sent straight to our future when I saw you holding your niece in your arms. You created such a beautiful scene together.

Your cheeks heated up.

– Our future? Are you talking about…? – you gasped – Hades, we will have a long time to think about this, don’t you think?

The god approached his lips from your ear, as if his next words shouldn’t be heard by anyone but you.

– I do. But there’s nothing wrong in speaking about this right now.

Part XIX

[sarahsmi13s]

Don't Leave Your Wingman

whumptober day 13: grief

pairing: pete 'maverick' mitchell x kazansky!reader (father figure relationship)

characters: pete mitchell, kazansky!reader, sarah kazansky

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, mentions of cancer, canon death, death, fear of being alone, death of a parent, grief, 5 stages of grief, fear of losing family, loss of appetite, anger, mood swings, broken glass, throwing things, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~1.8k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

i am so so sorry i got this up late, please forgive me

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: you wouldn't leave your wingman in the sky... why should you on the ground?

“It’s come back.”

One sentence. Three words.

That’s all it took for the world to crash down around you.

Your father, your best friend, your wingman, was already dying. 

But with three words he was dead and in the ground.

You started the grieving process the moment your mother told you about the results of your father’s tests. His cancer was back and this time he wasn’t fighting it. So, start grieving now so it doesn’t hurt when he passes.

It should cushion the pain right?

No.

It doesn’t.

Because when you watched Pete Mitchell slam his wings into your father’s coffin, it’s like he’s punching them right through your heart.

You thought you prepared yourself better. Thinking ahead to how everything would be different. Going through the motions of him missing so much of your life, everything he wouldn’t be a part of. You were only 21, you had so much left to accomplish and celebrate with him.

He would never walk you down the aisle at your wedding. He would never meet your kids and tell them cool stories about the famous Iceman and show them his collection of medals and patches. He would never tell them the story of how he met his best friend and wingman, the friendship’s birth captured in a photo on his desk.

He would never tell you he loved you again.

You wanted to hear it one last time… even if it was in that broken, raspy tone.

“How is she?” 

You could hear your uncle talking to your mom outside in the living room. 

It had been a few days since the funeral and you had barely left your father’s office in the living room. You barely ate, your appetite coming in and out as you went through the motions. You just sat in the office, wrapped up in his blanket with his dog tags around your neck or clenched in your hand. You were nearly numb at this point, sitting and staring at the photo of you and him at your graduation.

You had hit the “depression” part of your grieving process. Denial, anger, and bargaining had passed when you learned about the return of your father’s cancer. But you were sure they’d resurface at some point, grieving is never linear and it’s not a short lived thing. 

But when it was something that you prepared for, something that you could see coming from miles and miles away? It should be easier right?

“She doesn’t leave that chair often… I don’t blame her. But I’m worried. You and Ron have been a big help with brightening her days,” you mom said, a gentle smile on her face at Mav. 

It was true, they both had been a huge help. Just sitting with you so you weren’t alone, that you had someone in the room with you also grieving – even if it was different. Both had lost a best friend, your mom had lost a husband. She sat with you too, holding your hand and making sure you weren’t completely alone. She made sure that even though you were both grieving, that you could talk to her. 

Mav looked into the room, seeing you in that position – curled up with your dad’s dog tags in your hand, lips pressed against them as you stared out the window. 

He gave Sarah a hug before walking towards the office doors and knocking before opening it. 

“Hey kid, how can I help today?” 

You shrugged a little bit, not having the energy to do much else. You sniffled and dropped your hand to the desk, pointing to a book that was resting there, “I um… I found that while going through some of his things…”

Sniffling again, you adjusted your blanket, “I can’t bring myself to read it… it’s all in his hand writing…” Mav nodded and came over, “I can read it to you, if you want.” “Please…”

“Would you want to go out on the porch swing? Get some sun, fresh air?” You looked up at him and he could see just how tired you were. You probably got a lot more sleep than you should have, or very little sleep that wasn’t good.

You looked at the photo on your dad’s desk, seeing him smiling down at your 18 year old self in your cap and gown, diploma in your hand.

“Yeah… yeah, that sounds nice,” you said, your voice a little lighter and the ghost of a smile threatened your lips.

Mav smiled and helped you up, grabbing the book and leading you to the swing on the front porch. 

You sat down with him, resting your head on his shoulder as he put the book in his lap.

As he began to read, you both began to notice that these were your dad’s stories. Stories you had heard from him, stories you begged him to tell you no matter how many times you had heard them… All there in a book.

You cried at first, so did Mav. But as he continued, reading your dad’s words and the side commentary he never failed to add, you both started to laugh. 

It was nice to laugh, it helped you begin to feel like everything was going to be okay.

“Today will be better.” 

That’s what you told yourself when you woke up the past few days. 

You could never tell yourself that it would be great or amazing. Because you knew you couldn’t make that promise to yourself. But you could always try better, your best would always vary from day to day.

And you were doing okay. You were making it.

Until Maverick showed up in his whites.

Your heart had sunk like a brick in your stomach.

You knew what those meant.

He was going out with them on the carrier.

That’s not so bad right? He would be safe right? 

But the look on his face as he stood in front of the office's french doors told you something else.

“I was picked as team leader to fly the mission.” 

The brick in your stomach started dissolving, making your stomach acid fizz and bubble up your throat. 

You shook your head, the dusting rag and photo clenched in your fist. “No, no you’re not.. You’re not flying this mission, Uncle Mav… You-you were just supposed to teach it.. You’re a teacher!”

He mirrored your movements, “Admiral Simpson-”

“No!” 

Your shout had startled him, you hadn’t raised your voice in any capacity for a while so your outburst startled him.

“I’m sorry, kid… There’s a chance someone doesn’t make it back and I would rather it be me–”

“So you have a death wish? Is that it? Can’t go one damn day without risking your life like no one is gonna miss you if you burn in, can you?” 

Maverick was unsure how to respond to that, standing there awkwardly as you yelled at him.

“You’re selfish, you know that? The both of you, fucking selfish,” you said, your voice cracking at the end as you poked his chest with the picture frame. 

“B-both… Y/N what-”

“You’re never supposed to leave your wingman… ever. So tell me why I’ve been left behind! Why everyone is fucking leaving me?!” 

In your anger you threw the photo on the floor, glass shattering and the frame breaking apart.

“He left me and now you’re leaving me too!” 

Mav watched the tears streaming down your face as you shoved past him and ran out of the office and out of the house.

Sighing, he looked down and noticed the photo under the shards of glass was the photo of him and Ice shaking hands after saving one another on that mission after graduation. 

“You can be my wingman anytime…”

After your blow up at Maverick, you ran straight to the beach.

The second your feet hit the damp sand on the shoreline you were collapsing to your knees. 

Clutching your chest, you sobbed.

“Why?! Why couldn’t you have just fought? One more time… for me! I need you Dad! And you’re gone! You left me here! And-and now you want to take Mav with you? It’s not fair!”

You fell forward, clutching at the sand, “It’s not fair!” You sobbed, not caring if anyone around you could hear you. You were in pain, you were now not only grieving your father, but you were now going to be grieving his best friend, your friend.

A pair of gentle hands pulled you back up into a seated position on your knees.

“Sweetheart…”

“It’s not fair, Mom!” You shouted, your voice raw with tears as you looked out on the horizon before looking down at the frothing tide, “It’s not fair…” 

Sarah felt tears sting her own eyes at the utter brokenness of your voice, the rawness in it.

She pulled you into her lap, shushing you gently as you sobbed into her neck. She looked up at the sky, “You better bring him home Tommy. Don’t you leave her without a wingman.”

The next week and a half was filled with dread and worry. 

Worry that Maverick would make good on that promise of being the one to die on this mission. Worry that it would be Rooster, someone you weren’t as close to but you knew he meant a lot to Mav. Worry that you would be alone, grieving another father figure.

You barely left the office, sat there in that damn chair looking at that damn computer screen. The last words he typed on it were still displayed.

“It’s time to let go.”

The five words felt like mockery as you read them over and over and over.

How could you just “let go”? Did he really think you hadn’t tried that? Or that it was that simple?

Because it wasn’t. 

You wish you could have just accepted it, that grieving someone as they sat in front of you breathing would have made it easier. But it didn’t. 

You felt like you were on the monkey bars again, the ground miles away from you and you were scared to fall.

“How can I let go when I have no one to catch me?”

As you waited in the silence, for a response that you knew wouldn’t come, a knock sounded through the quiet house. 

Your mom had stepped out to go get stuff for dinner. So you were the only one at home.

Sniffling and turning the monitor off, you got up and went to the front door.

When you opened it, you nearly collapsed.

There on your front porch was Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. He was scraped up a little, but he was alive.

“Mav… Mav!”

He smiled as he caught you, keeping you from falling onto the ground and holding you close as you clung onto his bomber jacket, tears staining the vinyl. 

“You’re here… you came home.”

He kissed your temple, rubbing your back and cradling the back of your head.

“Of course I did, I couldn’t leave my wingman.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

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so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[malepresentingleg]

Bed Friend Novel vs Series

I'm not sure if it counts as spoilers since I'm not going to address anything later than where the series is at now, only provide extra background information and point out some differences for what was already aired.

I have to say that so far I prefer the series to the novel but I still thought it could be nice to share key points that are missing.

Differences from the series will be pointed out in pink,

My own interpretation in green.

Uea's background (tw abuse)

Uea's parents fought all the time when he was a kid, and took so long to divorce because they argued over who's gonna get custody over him (both wanted the other to😶). His mom lost and was "stuck" with him ever since, with no child support from his father. She remarried and they moved to his stepdad's house, tearing him away from the extended family he loved in Lampang - the place Uea mentions by the pool in the work outing in episode 4.

His mom and stepdad had a baby, and for his mom Uea was just a sore reminder of her past life and she treated him like SHIT. His stepdad was gentle and tried to defend him against her and show Uea he's "on his side". When his mom found out about his gayness she flipped, did the locking him in a completely dark bathroom several times and was generally an abusive asshole pretty much like shown in the series. Uea kept standing up to her though, at least verbally about his sexuality.

Then at some point when he was a teenager his stepdad woke him up Like That (like in the series) and his mom didn't believe him of course. Since then his stepdad didn't hide behind subtly anymore and kept harassing him. Whenever his mom locked him, it would be even worse now because his stepdad kept trying to pick the lock to get him, which would have been even worse for Uea. Understandable why he's traumatized AF.

At the birthday the reason he left was not because of his stepdad, but because his mom only wanted him to come so she can ask for more money.

Currently he's 27, a graphic designer at that company for 3 years. People keep hitting on him because he's so pretty, but he's very annoyed by it. He hates when people hit on him through Jade (aka middleman), he hates players and flirts.

He had several boyfriends in the past and they all ended up cheating assholes basically.

The most tragic part of his life though is that he LOVES animals but is super allergic to their fur.

King and Uea

They first met 8-9 years before the series, Uea just ended a relationship and was at a bar. King hit on him a little but then Uea saw him hit on someone else and hated him for being "a player". A couple of years later he met him again when Jade introduced them. King and Jade are childhood friends from kindergarten, Jade was Uea's uni roommate so he was civil. Then he was very mad to discover when he started working that King works there too, and they had a kinda hateful relationship since, but it was very one-sided from Uea.

The first night they slept together they were both drunk, King just slightly less so, and he took Uea in a taxi to his house because he didn't know where Uea lives. He put him in bed, and Uea was too drunk to explain about the dark so he just begged King not to leave him and King "couldn't help it".

I think so far it's the only part I preferred in the book, because in the series King was driving and a lot less drunk and more aware of what was happening.

Later - King apologized for taking advantage of Uea like this (and really made a point of not doing anything with him at the work outing when Uea was drunk as we saw in episode 5).

Something I hated in the novel but loved in the series was the morning after, when King talks about how much of a gentleman he was and that he deserves a reward. In the series Uea replied wonderfully saying this should be standard, while in the novel he basically said King missed his chance when he didn't go for it the night before.

In general, King is more pushy and demanding in the novel, more playing into the trope of the big top who can't help himself.

He left a hickey on Uea which he was mad about and did a half-assed apology at first.

Unlike the series when King catches himself and remembers Uea doesn't like something, in the novel when King kisses Uea on the cheek again after Uea stopped him a while before, Uea was the one who had to say "I told you not to do this." and King was very nonchalant about forgetting about that too. Which, to be fair isn't the worst. It's not like King knows exactly what it means for Uea and that it's a big deal, but still pretty shitty.

Another thing that was much better in the series imo was the scene at the end of episode 5 when the lights went out. In the Novel they were going to go to bed and Uea tried to turn out the bedside light only to find out it's needed changing. He was going to go get a new bulb to change but King whined and stopped him from going and made him just stay and go to bed with him. Eventually Uea relaxed into his arms.

Uea keeps referring to him as a "sex addict" which I tie more with Uea's sense of shame about his sexuality.

Pretty early on in their FWB relationship Uea actually told King about his mom's abuse and the reason he's scared of the dark, but they didn't discuss it other than that.

Also at this point - they both like each other, they're both in love with each other basically, and they ARE pretty aware of each other's feelings. The issue is that Uea doesn't believe King can change and doesn't want to enter a relationship with him when King "is and always will be a player". (And he's a complete clown because they basically are in a relationship at this points sdfss).

King, too, is aware of his own feelings but is unsure if he can really commit. Verbally though he keeps trying to convince Uea he can.

Jade

I already mentioned he's King's childhood friend and Uea's uni bestie. He has a way bigger role in the book, and a whole romance of his own that by this point of the series should have concluded if it followed his character's story like the book.

He's exactly the annoying bl "helpless wife" trope and doesn't have much personality other than that. His love interest would have come and left the company by this point so I have no idea what their plan is for the Middleman Love. I know the book's events of that novel happen at the same time as the Bed Friend novel but I have not and will not read it so I don't know much more. For some reason they give some of the roles his love interest had to Gun, who doesn't have such a big role in the book.

I will say Jade is a good friend to Uea, and he really wanted him and King to get along since they're his two besties. When they started to be nicer to each other he almost cried.

Random bits

It really bothered me they went to get a blood test a week after their one-night stand when in the novel it was 3 weeks (the proper amount to wait before doing an HIV test). Also in the novel it was actually discussed it's for HIV (which... other STDs exist yknow), Uea gets tested regularly and also always uses a condom. King says he does too, but they didn't use one That Night because he was too drunk, for which he apologized.

Also, one time King talked Uea into having sex in the bathroom in the morning before work, Uea put his foot down about using a condom "No condom, no sex". They ended up late for work and Uea was pissed.

When they made plans to watch the football match they didn't do the fake phone call, the series really pulled through with that one : ')

Also, they watched the game alone at home, not in a bar with lots of other people (and it was Liverpool vs Arsenal).

-

There's probably definitely more, but this is what I remember off the top of my head, and my ask box is opened for more specific clarifications :)

[lamponellatempesta]

JWCT COUNTDOWN

DAY 5: Roadtrips

For this prompt, I've decided to write the first encounter and trip of Ben with his red Jeep (thanks @gingericywolf for putting this headcanon in my head) I hope you will enjoy it!

(Countdown gently created by @campbenji)

"Hey wait wait!" Ben said, late, as he ran towards the bus, "One more second please!" His pleadings were not heard, and the bus resumed its run to the school, with the boy staring at him as he vanished at the intersection, without him on board. Ben cursed, running for the next stop was useless and he couldn’t miss another day of school, he had already lost enough, the only option he had left was to continue on foot so, reluctantly, he started.

He decided to vent his frustration by hitting a rock along the way. "For once I do a late night, This is the result. On foot. Because some stupid driver doesn’t want to wait for someone who’s practically yelling at him. Of course. Pfft. If I only had a car I wouldn’t have these problems, am I late? No problem! I’d go with the car and I wouldn’t have to run after a stupid bus!" he said, hitting the rock harder while talking to himself on the way. He’d got his driving licence for a few months now, but his mom wouldn’t get him a car because she said he had to earn it, work it out with the money he was earning from his summer job at mantah corp island and the delivery job he did on the weekends during the school year; He didn’t make a lot of money, but he was saving it to get the car he wanted. He wasn’t too pretentious, it didn’t need to be new or luxury like Kenji’s, he just needed it to work.

He looked through the cars he saw parked along the street to see what he might like, even though he already knew it; a jeep had always been one of his dreams since he had driven one for work on mantah island, he had literally fallen in love with that kind of car and he would have really wanted to have one of his own so he could go around camping, be in nature on his own and facing roads not easily passable would have been a thousand times easier with a Jeep than with any other type vehicle. He’d been looking at car ads for months, hoping to find one in vain. Those who owned one apparently held tight on them and envied those he saw in the driveways and sighed.

He had almost arrived at school, when he noticed one in particular in a parking lot; it was not very well put, the red color had some rust and some scratches, the right mirror was broken and the front bumper almost seemed to come off, the wheels were a little flat. Ben scrunched his nose, "Who is owning such a beautiful car in this condition?! I understand that you may have lived it to the fullest, but at least some care!! If I had it it wouldn’t be in this condition-" the boy interrupted his complaining on the owner of the car when he noticed the most important detail, onw he had not noticed at the first glance; the jeep was for sale and at a price he could afford. It was a golden opportunity. He couldn’t miss it. He looked at the school on the horizon and the jeep again.

The choice was not difficult.

Not even an hour later Ben was in his "new" jeep and was taking her for a ride to see how she behaved on the road, "Please don’t explode, you’re doing well! Just a little bit more and we’re home and I’ll starting to give you a nice setup." Ben said as he squeezed the steering wheel all happy; finally he had a car! And it wasn’t an ordinary car, it was the car of his dreams, a jeep! And it was also red! He couldn’t wish for anything better! He had to find a name for it.

Luck was with him and he managed to bring the car to their garage, where it made a bad noise and died suddenly. Ben sighed; he would have a long morning ahead of him, but it would be worth it.

The boy did not even notice the hours spent in that garage replacing, cleaning and fixing the various pieces of the jeep, following old video tutorials made by Brooklynn on her channel, until his mother found him, "Benjamin!!!"

Ben was cleaning the interiors and slammed his head against the roof. "Owww! What?! Oh... mum! Hi! Eheh.. hellooo," Ben said while trying to look cool behind the wheel.

"What is this?! And You should be at school!"

"Uuumh, that’s..uh.. well.. my new car??"

"And you couldn’t pick it up after school?!" She retorted, with Ben getting out of the vehicle.

"I couldn’t miss this opportunity mom! Look how beautiful she is! It was a unique opportunity I couldn’t let go! Look!" And Ben started to go around the car dragging his mother with him to show her all the changes and improvements he had already made, while his mother was not so convinced of the result, but smiled anyway, proud of her son, "You’ve done a really good job, Benjamin, I guess you are skipping school today. Only for today, though!"

Ben smiled all excited and made jumped of joy, "Accompany me to try it out!! Come on!" He said jumping to the driver’s seat without leaving his mother time to respond. She sighed and then climbed into the passenger seat, "Are you sure... sure it's safe?"

"Of course! I checked everything Brooklynn said to check in the video! I’m 90, maybe 85%, sure!" Ben exclaimed all excited as he turned it on, with some difficulties, as the engine made some not so reassuring sounds and Mrs Pincus grabbed the handle for the passenger, which detached and remained in her hand; she turned to look at Ben who giggled nervously as he got out of the garage. He was ready for his first official ride in his jeep!

He decided to make her go around the neighboring blocks, honestly even he didn’t trust her to go long distances yet but heck it was so nice to feel independent, the feeling of the rough skin of the steering wheel under the fingers and the distorted radio sounds, he should have changed it but he didn’t care, he was happy. He already dreamed of future roadtrips.

"Everyone has to see my new ride! Mom, isn’t it great!? I love her!"

"Don’t get distracted!!" And he took a corner a little too wide because of the worn tires that had no grip on the asphalt "Need to change them yeah. Eheh." "Benjamin, you are a crazy child!" She said with a nervous laugh and smiled, "You want to go get some take away, you won’t even have had lunch focused how you were." Ben still had a smile on his face, "You’re right, I’m hungry... Take away! Let’s go Jolene!" And he turned steering wheel, which again made some uninviting noises, "Ooops. Sorry,"

Mrs Pincus held to her seat and then looked at him, "Jolene? You gave her a name?"

Ben blinked, he hadn’t even noticed, he unconsciously had already chosen the name, and it was great. "Of course! Every car must have a name!"

"It’s a nice name, but be more careful and don’t strain it too much!"

"I’ll treat her like a princess mom don’t worry!" And the two continued on their journey to fast food and continued to talk and laugh among themselves.

He felt happy, this was the first of many trips with Jolene, and he could only reward himself with some food.

Later he sent some photos to the campfam groupchat while eating his reward sitting on the hood of the jeep,

"We will make many trips together, Jolene. And you will be the best jeep of all. I assure you."

[disappointingcabbage]

TDP Season 6 Episode 1 live reaction, spoilers under the cut

Who is this man crying?

What the fuck it’s Aaravos

Ok so Aaravos showing actual emotion was not on my 2024 bingo card

Genuinely why does his crying sound autotuned

There’s another startouched elf??? Who is she?????

Why is the intro still Viren getting statued??? He’s dead

Oh ok his statue got disintegrated

Yup he’s dead

Terry my beloved

O h n o he’s gonna find viren’s body

Bro why are you sobbing over this racist motherfucker

WAIT WHAT

HE’S ALIVE ????? WHY IS HE ALIVE????

oh no Claudia’s covered in blood

NOOO THE LITTLE MOTH GREMLIN SHE DID THE SACRIFICE

Oh damn Viren is fully redemption arcing and he has Regrets

“No parent wants their child to suffer for them” first of all tell that to Soren. Atone for your bullshit. Second of all you’ve clearly never met my mother

Ah shit Aaravos convinced Claudia to let him out

Viren’s actually putting his foot down and saying no. I never would have predicted this pre-s5 but now it makes total sense and I love that the writers are sticking with his character development

Oh ew this show is actually going to get me to like Viren I hate that

He’s going to Katolis to turn himself in. Based tbh.

Claudia what the fuck though like girlie your whole point of everything was to get your dad back and he’s fine now why are you still going along with Aaravos

Oof her voice acting in this scene is incredible though

Also she’s still missing that leg. I hope she gets either a cool prosthetic or an even cooler mobility aid.

Soren has opening blindfolded for some reason. The reason is either going to be A Secret Meeting for Very Not Good Ominous Reasons or something very funny

Based on the tone of the scene I’m assuming it’s the funny option

LMAO LORD BREADSANDWICH SOREN I LOVE YOU

Oh it’s just a season 5 recap in the high mage’s office

Oooh they’re deciding what to do with aaravos’s prison

I get he’s on the high council and all but why is Barius here???

Callum wants to destroy the prison, Opeli wants to assemble a multi-kingdom task force to protect it, and Barius wants to hide it

I’m with Callum or Barius tbh, the multi kingdom task force idea exposes too many people to potentially be manipulated by aaravos.

However, hiding it means that it can be found probably and exposes everyone who already knows about it to Aaravos, and destroying it runs the risk of freeing him accidentally.

Soren with the LOTR reference 💀

Rayla has the same issues as me with destroying it

Ezran has decided to hide it in katolis, smart choice

oh no, Zym’s sad about Zubeia

Callum wants to visit this ancient faction of skywing elves for info on A) yeeting the pearl out of existence and B) un-coining Rayla’s family (please let them out)

Callum is right to be afraid of aaravos manipulating him tbh

Awww one of the baitlings sleeps in Callum’s bed

Oh god aaravos nightmares oh FUCK WHY ARE YOU SLEEPWALKING

what the fuck what the fuck whY IS HE IN THE PEAR WHAT WAS THAT IMAGE OF AARAVOS YEETING THE PEARL F E A R

Rayla do NOT dismiss Callum’s concerns like that

“I have an idea” *fucking sprints away to enact said idea without elaborating* peak autism moment

I’m sorry, you want to stop aaravos with the power of pastries?

“Sometimes I wonder where my mom is too” SOBBING

awwwww bait has a little four poster bed that’s so cute

AHDIEJXIEKF BARIUS DID AN “is it real or is it cake” WITH A FUCKING PEARL DECOY IM WHEEZING

Ooh anti spell blankie

“I have my blankie 😎” Callum I would die for you

Soren and zym are going on a quest to find Zubeia and Callum and Rayla are going to see the Celestial Elves but more importantly, each questing squad is taking a baby bait with them!!

If the one going with Soren isn’t Hat I will be very disappointed

Claudia why are you ominously standing over Terry and trauma dumping

Claudia what are you doing with the staff

Claudia no please don’t hurt him if you hurt him it’s transphobic

Oh ok she’s just walking her toxic ass out of the relationship cool

Terry don’t wait for her she doesn’t deserve it

[acesofspadess]

Winner of Hearts

a/n: this late upload was not planned I'm so sorryyyy, but updates will be like everyday again so yay. and get your tissues ready.

 Next week quickly turned into 2 months. One Direction was in the Finals. Over the past few months the band had become a family., with you all deciding to stay in your tiny room over splitting up. You couldn’t imagine life without all 5 boys in it. Of course the nicknames stuck and you really enjoyed each of the boys having their own nickname for you - though you think they liked it more than you.

“Hey bug, can I draw you?”

“Bow, why are you still in bed?”

“Only Petal can have my food.”

“Bear? Can you play with my hair?”

“Oi! Bunny’s cheating! How does she always win?”

 Bentley and Beverly came to visit with your Nan and Pap a few times. You were so proud of how far Bev had come in her schooling and was soon gonna be an apprentice for some designers. Bentley had changed career paths and decided being a model was truly what he wanted to do. He had the looks, and the height, he just needed the connections. He had one job for a local clothing shoppe that you made sure Bev sent you pictures of.

The bakery was even better. Nan and Pap had got so many people to come in (they know it was because of you) that they had to hire people to help around. They still did most if not all the baking but they definitely had help and you were thankful. They were only in their late 40s, (47) after having your mom when they were 16, and then your mom having you when she was 16. They were around the same age as the other mothers in the band, but to you it felt like they had lived two lives. 

Being able to go out and see everyones old lives was a special moment for all of you. You were glad something was arranged for Niall after the weather prevented from you all heading to Ireland. Louis' old school definitely was the biggest surprise. He had you stay by his side the whole time claiming ‘ I need my best friend by my side’. And you were more than happy to be there with him and the rest of the boys.

Seeing where Harry grew up was so special. Over the course of the past two months you had definitely gained feelings for him and Niall and it seemed to you that they were in the same boat, but you knew it wouldn't go anywhere for a long time. Harry made sure you and Niall were holding onto him as the mass of people around his front drive were mad. You and Niall found a picture of baby Harry and asked the fan if you could steal it, to which they screamed and showed the paper into your hands. You knew how much Harry missed his mum and Robyn and it was so special watching him reunite with them.

Next was your home town of Hazel Grove. You knew you wanted your first stop to be the bakery. Swarms of people - more than the other boys- were waiting outside of the bakery and as you and the boys stepped out the cheers could have made you go deaf. They were chanting your name and had signs of all different things, even baby pictures that you knew all the boys would try to sneak pictures of. 

Seeing Beverly, Bentely, Nan, and Pap all together again was too much for you to handle. You knew that after this that there would be a ton more people waiting to get to this bakery. “A free pastry on me!” you yelled standing on a chair by the front doors to everyone who was standing around. “But only if you promise to come back!” They all screamed and laughed and the boys helped pass out pastries to everyone in line. 

You finally made it to your cottage a little while away from the bakery and the boys marvelled at how perfect the cottage reminded them of you. The Williams parents had moved to Australia and had lost connection with the three of you, but Beverly and Bentely were unbothered as they knew your grandparents treated them like their own. After Beverly and Bentely helped show all of your baby pictures to the boys -especially Niall and Harry- you went and stayed in your room for the night before you were off to Bradford. 

“Oh my god.” Zayn muttered next to you holding onto your hand tightly. You giggled at his reaction to all the people. Zayn’s outcome was so special knowing he was really a quiet kid and that seeing all these people where he used to go for fun was such a shock for him. 

Last but not least, Wolverhampton. We had a gig there and Simon joined you guys for the last leg. The performance felt so real and it made you all really want to win this. 

The next big thing after that was your birthday and the boys made sure to cause havoc on your birthday, starting by waking you up super early. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTY!” they all screamed pulling back the privacy protector. You knew they were going to pull something so you decided to get them back. “Except today isn't my birthday.” Your voice was scratchy and you saw all but two faces drop. “No today 9 December you were born, Bear.” Harry now whispering informed you. “Yeah Petal, today's your birthday. You’ve got a picture of you and Beverly with balloons and cake that say ‘9 Dec’.” 

You couldn't help but smile and open your eyes to see all them smiling at you with party hats. “Thank you lads, but it's still dark outside.” you whispered with a shaky laugh at the end. They joined you laughing quietly. “I will ask you where you managed to find those party hats later. But right now i'm going back to sleep.” they all laughed and Liam, Zayn, and Louis kissed your head before getting back in their own beds. “Wait Petal.” Niall and Harry were now sitting at the edge of your bed. “We want you to open your gift now.” Harry handed you the small -decently- wrapped gift. You opened it sluggishly and smiled widely when you saw what it was.

“We remembered you saying you needed a new one. So we put our money together and got you one. Do you like it, Bear?” You looked at it in its full glory. A new bonnet for your hair… with Niall and Harry’s faces on it. “Where did you manage to get this?” you chuckled while switching it with the one you had on. “We’ll tell you later. Go back to sleep Petal.” They were getting ready to get up but you stopped them. “No, stay with me.” You slid into the middle of your small bed and patted either side of you. They each chose a side and you snuggled into them both while Harry pulled your blanket over you all. 

A few hours later Liam and Louis woke Zayn up, and when they went to wake you up (you had to wake up Niall and Harry. They only ever woke up if it was you) they saw you with both boys heads snuggled into your neck and chest. “I'm calling it now. Those three are getting married.” Zayn pointed out and the L’s agreed. “Let them sleep a little longer.” Louis spoke softer than he would ever admit looking at the tiniest hint of smile on his best friend's face as her boys snuggled further into her. “Bunny, do we have a lot to catch up on.” he spoke to himself getting back in this bunk on top of you.

Then it was the Finals. The first performance was so exhilarating. Seeing the winter wonderland come together and hear all the harmonies under the solos. It was perfect. The second performance was even more magical, being able to do a duet with Robby Williams was even better. You all sounded so good and looked even better in your best dressed.

But, besides everything joyful outside of X-Factor, inside was getting more serious. 

It was the morning of 12  December and you were all sitting between you and louis bunk, and Harry and Nialls. “We’ve come so far… what happens to us if we don’t win?”

The topic had never been discussed yet and by the way everyone's face turned, you knew it was one that needed to be held. 

“I guess because we made it so far I didnt think about what happens after.” Liam offered up as everyone was sitting in silence. “So what do we do if we don't win?”

“We stay together.” Harry spoke up with no hesitation. You looked up at him to see the desperation in his eyes and softly pulled his head into your shoulder, you knew he needed comfort in this situation. “We stay together.” you confirmed and you felt Niall's head nod against your lap while looking at Liam and Louis also nodding their heads. 

“Then we have a final performance to get ready for.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We are so so happy to be in the final. It’s unreal. We can't believe we're here.” You all sat around Liam as he spoke.  “It's kinda crazy to believe we all came in as soloists. So much time has passed.” You added on. 

“I think if we won our lives would change forever and we’re ready for our lives to change.”

You and Liam had the first Solos

I thought I saw a girl brought to life

She was warm, she came around like he was dignified

She showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man that I adored

You don't seem to know, or seem to care what your heart is for

I don't know him anymore

Then you all sang together for the last chorus

I'm all out of faith

This is how I feel

I'm cold and I am shamed

Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed

Into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You're a little late

I'm already torn

Torn

You walked down the stairs and when you all got down you couldn't help but hug each other like it was the last time. As the judges talked the audience cheered the band's name and you couldn’t help but smile. “Only formed a few months ago, you know, pretty much put together for this show, and knowing now you're all best mates. How does it feel to be here on Finals night, Louis.”

You looked at your best friend from across the group as he answered. “You know it's an absolute honour to be here and that song that we did, it was the first song we ever did together. It was- it was just great. Perfect.”

Dermot had watched the live stream from Louis' hometown of Doncaster and everyone was screaming to vote for One Direction. 

````````

“Please lets welcome back the finalists and the judges.” You walked out when Dermot called you guys and the anxiety in your chest made you want to run back to the dressing rooms. You stood next to Niall and Zayn and could feel them both fidgeting while Dermot talked. “I will now tell you the two acts with the most votes and will compete head to head for the X-factor title. The act who has received the fewest votes, finishing third, will be leaving the competition tonight. Good luck to everyone.”

You could feel everyone holding their breath around you. “The first act going through to the next stage of the final is…”

You were happy that Matt got through, but that meant you were only one spot away from staying or going. 

“So, One direction and Rebbeca. One of you has made it into the top two. And one of you has received the fewest votes from the public and is out of the competition.” You held your face in your hands anxiously and Louis reached over to comfort you the best he could. 

“The second act who will be in the final is… Rebbeca.”

You didn’t know what to do. You all just stood there before the cheers around told you that Rebbeca had won, and she was a friend. You all walked over to her to congratulate her before Dermot was calling you back. “We're gonna talk to you in a second but first let's watch your time on the X-factor.”

You could barely watch through the tears. The blurry images of all you coming in as soloist to when you were put into the band flashed first. You guys getting through the judges round and your first Live performance, followed by all of your excursions and meeting Emma Watson and your final performances. Louis and Zayn hugged you a little harder when they saw you wipe your tears. 

“I can tell by all of your faces you're absolutely gutted, but how has this experience been for you?” Since Louis was closest he answered first. “It's been absolutely incredible. For me the highlight was when we first sang together at the Judge’s House. It was incredible and unbelievable and you know we’ve done our best, we worked hard." Everyone cheered at Louis' answer and Dermot moved onto you.

“Autumn, the only girl in a boy band.” that gave you a laugh and Zayn shook you softly as a tease. “What's gonna happen to One Direction now?”

You looked at all the boys before answering.

“We’re definitely gonna stay together, and this isn’t the last of One Direction.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have any ideas for what you want to write in future my inbox is open!!!! i would love to hear what you guys want to see happen in the trios future

tags:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive  

[blackwolfstabs]

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 18

LETTER

Sam wrote a letter to Tara before she left for 5 years.

the timeline for Scream V & Scream VI is messed up, so i'm considering the year by doing math from Sam's birth year: 1997. when she turned 18, it would've been 2015, even though Scream V took place in 2022, which would've had Sam be gone for 7 years instead of 5 but whatever.

May 19, 2015

My dearest Tara,

You know that I love you. I’ve loved you, ever since I first laid eyes on you. I was only 5 years-old when you were born, yet I remember every detail. It was the best moment of my life. It still is. I love you more than words on Earth can describe. 

But I’m so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I can’t help but feel that I have to leave.

Know that I tried very hard to stay. 

I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you over the years. I know I changed. Let’s just say that I grew up faster than I was supposed to. But it was never your fault, so don’t blame yourself, okay? I made a mistake that I shouldn’t have made. I knew better. Much better than to do what I did, but now I can’t take it back. I made the wrong choice, and I will be eternally damned because of it. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Some things just aren’t meant to last forever. Dad wasn’t meant to last with Mom, and I’m not meant to last with you. But understand that my love for you will last, forevermore. 

Please do not cry or feel sad for me. It won’t hurt for too long. You’re growing up, which means my job as your big sister has come to an end. I think of all the days you’ve known, all the ways you’ve grown. Tara, I couldn’t not be more proud of you. The life I had as your big sister—holding you, reading to you, playing with you, teaching you, laughing with you, crying with you, I could go on and on—was worth all of my existence, and I would do it a thousand times over again, if only I could stay with you. I pray that you’re able to open your heart to another, who can take care of you as I have done and promise forever.

Thank you for the time we had together. I’ve never felt so loved, and no one in this world will ever love me more. Yes, we’re sisters. We fought and tattled on each other. We got on each other’s nerves and even resented each other, as siblings do without truly knowing what it is to hate or not want each other around. But you were my everything. You made me laugh, you made my cry, you made me strong, you made me weak. You made me feel like there was no one else in the world besides you and me. It was us against the world. Oh, how I wish that could have lasted longer.

I don’t want to live without you, so my heart is broken, but I’m able to smile, knowing you’ll be much better with me out of your life. Mom will be better. She won’t be angry anymore. It will bring her peace, and therefore, you will find peace as well. Smile that gorgeous smile, and live in the light. Please, promise me you’ll never lose that smile. It could light up all of the world, if given the chance. It’s too precious to be lost. Enjoy your friends, follow your dreams, and become anything and everything you want to be. You can do it, I know you can. You remember when you used to talk in 3rd person? I would have something and you would point to it and say “that’s Tara’s”. Go point to the world, baby girl. That’s Tara’s. Go change it. Go make it yours. The world is Tara’s, and I’m so honored to have been able to be a part of it.

Please, my love, please live. I beg you. Live for the life ahead of you. You are going to do so many amazing things, and I can only hope that when every one of those times come, somehow, I’ll know. 

I wish I could hold you one more time and tell you how much I love you. Your love has given me so much happiness and purpose. I can never thank you enough for that. My heart will always belong to you, no matter how far away I am, and if this world is truly beautiful, may you and I find each other in the next life. 

I will miss you with every beat of my heart. I love you, and I always will.

Live well. Stay safe. Be happy.

Goodbye.

— Sam

The teardrops that fell from her eyes dampened the paper, right next to where she signed her name. It was 5:30 AM. The whole house was dark and quiet. Sam folded the letter up and covered her mouth to muffle the sobs she couldn’t hold back as she left her room. She couldn’t bear looking at Tara’s bedroom door, when passing it in the hallway, the countless memories they’d spent in and out of there hitting her like lightning. 

She made it down the stairs and slipped it into Tara’s backpack that sat by the front door. 

This was it. Once she walked out that door, what was done was done. There was no going back.

And she did, squeezing the straps of her own backpack to keep herself from running back inside.

‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.’

She played that mantra on repeat as she stalked the pre-dawn streets, alone. Where was she going? Anywhere she could get away from what lived inside of her. What she would spend forever trying to outrun…

She was going where no one would know the blood spilled behind her name.

The letter she’d just written haunted her, making her imagine all the different ways her baby sister might take it when she read it. All she could hope for was that she would understand. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe someday…

But what she never knew was that the letter would never make it to Tara’s eyes. In fact, she would never even know it had been written in the first place.

Christina found it minutes after Sam left.

And she ripped it up.

i cried for 30 minutes after writing this. seriously, i was sobbing, and i couldn't stop. Sam and Tara just run way too deep with me, i swear.

special thanks to "Happy/Sad" from The Addams Family, performed by Nathan Lane & kaelyngray on AO3.

All my best ♡ - parker