#i took 40 minutes to calm down after she ended my session 20 minutes early

[cereusblue]

Hey yall, happy reminder that if your doctor/therapist/psychiatrist treats you like shit? Drop em. Like dead fucking weight. There's a difference between them telling you some hard to swallow information and them being a straight up asshole. Take care of yourself. I know it can be hard to distinguish between hard to swallow information and them being rude, and if you're having a hard time with it then maybe attempt to reach out to them and see how they respond. If they double down and do not take your feelings into consideration, dump em. If they seem apologetic and want to understand and help you feel more comfortable about the information you were given? Then hang on, you may have misconstrued some words. There ARE doctors who care and want to help you. The medical field isn't wholly evil, I promise. I work in it too, I know there's some rules we can't bend and some things we have to do but.. All in all, it's all about giving patients the care they need to live a better life. Please, please take care of yourselves out there. When it comes to your mental health, the only one who can truly take the best care of you is yourself. In the sense that you have to make the decisions to make changes, take leaps, and ask for help. Be good to yourself 💙

[uhbright]

Dilaudid~Ch1:Once//Spencer Reid

Chapter 1/?

Okay- I don’t really know how trigger warning work or what warnings are needed BUT I think 

TW; drugs/addiction/ minor death that you already know about

Is that good?

My italics are screwed up once again, why do I even try? My apologies though.

This is another part in my “Quotes from the Show” (better name pending), series.

And I think I’m going to make this a series within a series ooo!

Word Count:~3.1k

Synopsis; After Prentiss’ apparent “death” (season 6/7), Reid turns back to Dilaudid in order to get away from the pain of losing a friend that was practically family.

“She never made it off the table.”

Reid paused for a moment.

Stood.

He had known this was a possibility- in fact he had known it was the likely outcome of the situation, but he couldn't have known what this would feel like before it happened.

He rushed forward towards the large doors of the hospital and brushed past JJ. He had hoped she would stop him, that someone would stop him, but they all let him go.

In his car, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white, he let out a sob. One after another, tears rolled down his cheeks onto the purple tie hanging nonchalantly around his neck. Gasping for air, he clawed at it and threw it to the side, then let his head fall between his hands on the wheel.

He stayed there for a long while, waiting for something to happen. Anything. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare, or for, by some miracle, Emily to come walking out of the doors and sit in the seat beside him. Let him know that she was all right with some snide remark.

When the doors of the hospital infront of him opened, he glanced up. The rest of his team was leaving the building, all of them red faced and puffy eyed. On noticing Reid’s car, they took gentle strides towards him but he quickly put the key into the ignition and pulled onto the gloomy streets of midnight.

In his apartment, early golden rays of sun seeping through the blinds made the rooms seem lonelier than ever. Spencer sat on his couch, head buried in hands. After a  moment, he looked up across the room to a small set of wooden drawers. Inside the very top, two thumb-sized bottles of clear liquid sat, taunting Reid.

He shook his head, remembering his time after Tobias Hankle. It was so difficult to get his mind off of Dilaudid then, he couldn’t imagine what it would be like if he tried to quit in his current state. Spencer stood and walked into his bedroom where his sheets and comforter were neatly made up from a time when Emily wasn’t gone.

He quickly slipped his shoes and jacket off, and lay on the bed, eyes slowly drifting closed. As soon as his eyelids shut and darkness came, fragments of Emily getting placed into the ambulance, bleeding and half-conscious, flooded back into his mind.

He layed fully clothed in bed for hours, unable to calm his mind down enough to sleep. Tossing and turning only seemed to make his restlessness worse.

As light flooded through the crack under his door, it seemed to call Reid into his living room. He crossed to his couch where he once again sat and placed his head in his hands.

Why didn’t I just get rid of it? He asked himself, glancing at the collection of drawers across from him.

He could never bring himself to dispose of the bottles, just in case times like these rolled around, he supposed.

Reid stood and paced briefly, checked his cell phone in hopes of a case to distract him. Only a few texts from his team members checking in on him. Was he okay? How are they okay? He asked himself, and threw his cell back onto the counter.

He paced across his home several more times, reread a book or two from his bookshelf, then threw himself onto his couch. Spencer couldn’t seem to quite his mind for one second, and keep it from going back and forth between all the things that had happened to him in the past, the tragedies that have struck him now, and the growing dread for the future.

He continuously wiped the tears dripping out of his eyes, unable to stop them or exactly pinpoint the reason for them being there.

Just this once, he told himself as he quickly crossed to the wooden drawers on the opposite side of the room. The promise “once” floating around his head, knowing how easy it would be to break. He pulled the string to close his blinds and enveloped one of the small bottles into his palm. Searching his kitchen drawers and several other rooms for a needle, he refused to open his hand, as if to convince himself he wasn’t about to do what he was.

Finally laying eyes upon a syringe, he walked slowly back to his couch and sat. He thought about thinking this through but soon realized he couldn’t find any truly good reason to put the vile back into the drawer.

With a deep breath, spencer tightly wrapped a neck tie around his upper arm until he could clearly see a blue vein protruding from the light skin.

Slowly the syringe filled with clear liquid and was carefully flicked and inspected for any air bubbles. It was if Reid couldn’t even feel himself going through the motions, and he quickly stuck the vein with the needle and pressed the fluid into his arm.

A cool, relaxing feeling crawled through Spencer’s skin, pressing his head into the couch and his feet further into the floor. His eyes fell shut and his mind sunk back into a daze of memories, icy white and red hot all at once.

A ring drifted harmoniously through Spencer’s living room, his eyes opening slowly. The midday light now seeping through his eyes seemed to shift colors gently, from light yellow, to pale blues and pinks, and back again.

The phone continued to ring, taking Reid away from the stunned state he was in. He blinked a few times as his phone chimed with a new voicemail. Spencer dropped his head back  onto the couch and tried to float away once again, but his phone rang and chimed once more. He sat up and pressed his fingers into his eyes, trying to get rid of the spots floating around his vision. He looked around, his whereabouts beginning to unblur and a more steady thought process beginning to form in his mind. By the time his phone rang again, he was able to flip it open and fumble for the green button.

“Hey kid, I was just about to send JJ over to check on you. Is everything okay?”

“Mmm, yeah fine.” Reid mumbled, realizing his left hand had fallen asleep because of the tie knotted around his arm.

“Really?” Derek waited for a response as Reid tucked the phone between his neck and shoulder in order to unfasten the purple and white fabric. When he got no response, he continued, “Alright, well, we have a case. I’m sorry, I know a day isn’t much but the other teams are busy with their own cases and we’re all that’s left. Bad guys can’t just give us a rest.”

Reid nodded slowly, then froze, “Wait, a day?” He looked out the window at the sun high in the sky.

“Kid, Prentiss- uh-” Spencer could hear Derek trying to form the right words, “Two nights ago…”

“Right, yes, of course,” Reid shook his head and started looking around for his shoes before noticing that they were already on his feet.

“Can you get here in 20 minutes?” Derek paused, “Everyone would understand if you wanted to sit this one out… It’s gonna take a lot for any of us to be here, but we know you were clo-”

“No, of course I can make it.” Reid knew he needed a distraction and grabbed his coat from the foot of his bed. “See you in 20.”

Spencer hung up the phone and moved to slip it in his pocket but dropped it before making it in. He rubbed his eyes once again, and grabbed an old shirt dangling out of his dresser. In his bathroom, he studied himself in the mirror. The circles under his eyes were even more prominent than usual, his hair a mess on top of his head, with a dazed, sleepy expression on. He pressed down his hair and splashed cold water against his face, finishing with fastening the same tie he’d used the other night on his arm, around his neck.

Spencer’s eyes remained red and puffy but he appeared more awake and present than before. His ride on the subway seemed perfectly fine until the end, when he remembered how many germs he had just shared with the other passengers.

Arriving at the office 40 minutes after the call, Spencer slinked into the room filled with his fellow, red eyed coworkers, not receiving a second glance from any of them. Penelope blandly continued to recited the case, slowly flipping the images across the screen, and Hotch quietly let out a “Wheels up in 30.”

Spencer sat down at his desk and looked down to see a small blotch of blood on his tie from the needle prick, as well as a small, fresh scab on his arm just below his cuffed sleeves. He quickly slipped on his jacket and removed his tie, jamming it in his pocket. He looked around briskly, but everyone else remained in their dazed state.

Hand in pocket, Reid felt the small bottle next to his finger tips. Had he not put it back?

“Hey wonder boy,” Penelope whispered with a slight forced smile, and sat down across from Spencer, who pulled his hand out of his pocket and raised it in greeting. “How are you feeling?”

Reid shrugged and allowed himself the first deep breath since he had gotten the call that morning. Penelope nodded in understanding and patted his hand, then stood to go talk with the other members of the unit.

On the way to the jet, he fiddled with the vile in his pocket. He understood how bad it would be if he used again, but it seemed that Dilaudid made him the happiest he’s been in quite a while.

After a brief and somber brainstorm session, the team was assigned their respective tasks for once the plane landed in an hour. Reid was to head right to the police station and begin working on a geographical profile.

Through the plane ride, Spencer stared at the pages of a book, periodically flipping the pages but barely thinking about the words written on them. He couldn’t keep his mind from going back and forth between memories of Emily to the options he had regarding the clear liquid in his pocket. When he caught himself staring ahead of his book, he quickly looked around and turned the page, hoping no one saw him staring into space. No that they would blame him, as that seemed to be what everyone else was doing too.

When the team got back to land, Reid was escorted by Hotch, Morgan, and JJ into a black SUV provided by the local PD. The drive to the station was short, and they all walked confidently into the building not wanting to let on their grief.

“You must be Agent Hotchner,” A large man in uniform strided over to the quartet and held out a hand. “Officer Doges, this is SSA Morgan, Jareau, and Dr Spencer Reid.” They took turns shaking each others hands, apart from Reid who nodded curtly.

“Jareau, the families of the victims are right in that room,” Officer Doges directed her to a seperate area, then walked the other three into the conference room where a board was set up for them. “This is all we’ve got so far, I’ll have someone bring in the case files.” He shook hands with everyone once again and walked out the door.

Morgan’s phone began to ring and he quickly pulled it open, “We’ll be right there.” Derek nodded at Hotch, “There’s another victim.”

“Reid, stay here, go over the case files and get started on the maps.” Hotch stood and they strode out of the room.

Spencer took another deep breath and leaned back in his chair.

“Hi! You must be Dr Reid?” A young, raven haired woman walked through the door, a stack of files in her arms.

“Yes, hi, that’s me,” Spencer stumbled over his words and stood with an awkward smile.

The woman chuckled and set the files down before extending an arm, “Detective Reynolds, but Emily is fine.” She smiled widely and her eyes crinkled the same way Prentiss’ did whenever she laughed. Reid swallowed and forced a smile before taking a file and beginning to flip through it. The lady dropped her hand and let out a disgruntled sound before stomping out of the room.

Spencer took a deep breath. He had hoped that working this case would help him keep his mind off of Emily’s death, as well as off of using again, but that didn’t seem like an option for him, and there seemed to be only one option left. He stood and asked a different officer where the restrooms were and locked himself in. He knew if he took a lesser dose the drug would cause a more euphoric effect, rather than a relaxed one.

Reid rummaged through the cabinet in search of a first aid kit. When he laid his hands upon one he selected a small syringe from inside and set it on the counter. He pulled the tie out of his pocket and once again knotted it above his elbow, then slowly filled the syringe with a smaller amount than he had previously. With a deep breath, Spencer sank the tip of the needle just under the older prick, into a protruding blue vein. Once all the liquid had been emptied from the syringe, a rush set through his body, up his spine and down to his toes.

He placed the needle into his pocket, along with the vile and tie. In the mirror he saw a different version of himself than the one he had seen that morning. He appeared crisper, more content, farther away from all the memories that wanted to haunt him.

Reid unlocked the door and stepped out, taking a breath of the stuffy air that flitted through the station. He felt like he could hear every noise around him- the ruffling of papers, the coffee machine making caffeinated beverages in the distance. Around him, everything seemed more vibrant than before, if only a little bit. He strode back into the conference room and read through all the case files, a bit slower than he normally would, as much as Reid hated to admit it. He knew that using opioid based drugs would slow his ability to function, and slow was not something Spencer was used to. All the same, he accepted that there were some things he’d have to sacrifice in order to divert himself from the past.

On the board, Reid began to work up a map of the UnSub’s comfort zone. With over 5 victims all nearby, it wasn’t difficult to see where this serial killer was most likely living.

As Spencer stuck his last pin into the map, the rest of the team walked through the door.

“Tell us what you know,” Hotch said, as he sat down, straightening his shirt.

“Although the victims were found at five different locations, the drop-sights form almost a perfect circle around this one neighborhood.” The words flew abruptly out of Spencer’s mouth, on the verge of being almost too jumbled to understand.

Taken aback, Derek cleared his throat, “Woah, kid, slow down,” He chuckled.

“Sorry,” Reid pushed some stray hairs behind his ear and pulled his lips into a smile.

“So what does that tell us?” JJ asked, reaching for one of the case files across the table.

“Most likely that the-” Reid caught himself tripping over his words again and took a deep breath, “Most likely that the UnSub lives within this neighborhood, although it may be that the neighborhood has some other sort of significance to him. Like where his family lives, or where he grew up.”

JJ eyed him slowly but when Reid sat down across from everyone else, she went back to looking at the file open in front of her.

The rest of the team sat in silence and reviewed all the case files in front of them.

“Alright, I think we’re ready to give the profile,” Hotch announced and walked out the door to tell everyone else in the station to meet them in the conference room.

The team helped line the floor with chairs to make sure the whole police department would be able to get a spot, and once every chair was taken, the BAU stood in front of them.

“We believe this killer is a male, mid to late 20s, with very severe OCD,” Derek projected through the room.

“Most likely living in, or frequently visiting Beach Wood neighborhood.” JJ continued, and the rest of the team went around delivering the profile.

When the speech was passed to Reid, he froze for a moment, realizing he had been spaced out for the entirety of the profile and didn’t know what had and hadn’t yet been covered.

“Reid,” Hotchner nodded in his direction and the team turned to look at him, along with everyone else in the room.

“Right, um…” Reid brushed the hair out of his face and began frantically flipping through the case file, hoping it would somehow reveal what he was supposed to say.

After a long silence only combated with the rustling of Spencer’s files, Derek came to his rescue. “Remember to stay cautious and aware at all times, we believe this UnSub is armed and very dangerous. He will not hesitate before shooting. Now, let’s go catch this son of a bitch.”

The officers in the room grunted in agreement and gradually began to leave the room. The team followed suit, but Hotchner called Reid to stay back. “I’d understand if you want to sit the rest of this one out.” He subtly scanned Spencer’s face, analyzing his frazzled expression and far off look. “And, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“That’s alright, I’ll keep working.” Spencer tried to turn around and walk away, but Hotchner stopped him again.

“I’m going to rephrase.” He paused, for dramatic effect, Reid presumed. “Sit this one out.”

“No!” Reid spun back around to face a shocked Aaron. “I don’t need to ‘sit this one out’!” He taunted, “I need this! I need this case!”

“Spencer,” Hotchner stared at the young man, appalled. “I’m getting the jet set up to take you home. Now.”

Yes! This is a series, I’m excited to continue. I’d be very happy to know if you’re interested in the sequels, or if you have any tips to improve my writing over all! Thank you for reading to the end!!

[graemeruns]

Multiple update time: Reigate half, Sittingbourne 10 and Abingdon marathon

Oh dear, it’s been 3 months since I last wrote anything on here about my running, so now’s the time to get up to speed with what has been going on. 

After the Caterham half (detailed here) I looked at the goal races I had lined up and drew up a training plan. I actually only had two races booked in my calendar: the Reigate half marathon in mid September, and the Abingdon marathon five weeks later. So I decided to loosely follow the marathon training plan I used for my first ever marathon in Brighton in 2014, with Abingdon as the eventual finale and Reigate as one of the marathon tune-up runs. I always find training difficult in the warm summer months and during the school holidays, but this plan was doable because it shouldn’t mean excessive mileage (the greatest week being 55 miles, but most weeks between 40-50 miles). It also only meant five running days per week, so two days to fully rest and recover and not create any further injuries. I was hoping that training when it was warm would mean that the cool autumn races would be much easier too! 

I had entered the Reigate Half in 2017 at the ‘early bird’ price and it had always been my main aim this year once recovered from my injury; it had been useful to have a long term goal to focus on when I started back running in April. After my Caterham half disappointment my training needed to focus on building up the Sunday long runs (all after a fast paced Saturday parkrun) and also ensuring I tried to get one tempo or interval session in during the week. I was also determined to listen to my body, so if I felt too tired for one of the sessions, I would change it to something else, but make sure that I still got the miles under my belt. By the time the Reigate half came round on 16th September, I had managed 5 runs between 16 - 20 miles, and felt a lot more prepared than when I ran Caterham 2 months previously.

This was my first time running the Reigate half. The organisation was superb, and the communication, event village, baggage tent and parking was faultless. The course itself was all on closed roads, and I’d been warned it was quite hilly. In fact there were only really two hills - in the first mile and the last mile - but everything else was all slightly undulating; I never felt like I was on the flat at any point. My race plan was to go out at 4min/km (6:25/mile), and see how long I could keep that up. In the end I managed that pace for the first 8 miles, then started to slow, crossing the finish in 1:26:34. My whole run, however, had been slightly hampered by the hill in the first mile: going up it had been slow, so I had rocketed down it and that had made both my hamstrings sore, like a minor strain, which remained for the rest of the race. It probably didn’t slow me down much, but it certainly wasn’t nice to run with. Nevertheless, I was content with my time, and finished 1st in the V50 age category, which was an added bonus despite there being no age category prizes. You can view my race on Strava here.

After Reigate there were now five weeks until the Abingdon marathon. In the next two weeks my long runs consisted of a 16 miler with 12 miles at around marathon pace (4:13/km or 6:46/mile), and a 20 miler. The following week I decided to do a final tune-up race and entered the Sittingbourne Striders 10 mile road race. I had run this race in 2015 in a time of 64:30; you can read about that encounter here, which explains the course in detail. This year I was hoping to run a bit quicker and something in the 63 minute range. The weather was cool and conditions very good apart from a fairly stiff breeze in places, and this came to the fore midway through the race at the highest point of the circuit. I ran well, and, more importantly, enjoyed the race; I enjoy few races these days as I’m usually thinking of pace, splits and times rather than the event itself. The fact that I didn’t hit my goal time, but finished in 64:22 (which was a small PB) didn’t really bother me. Oh, and I was third too, and received a £10 Sweatshop voucher and a trophy for my troubles. 

You can view my efforts on Strava here.

Now there were two weeks left before Abingdon, so I tried to do a mini taper, but failed really because I had put myself down for the Surrey League Cross Country the following Saturday, and ended up with a 41 mile week. So in the end it was more like a 1 week taper, with a half-hearted attempt at carb loading two days before the race. I examined the training I’d done over the past 17 weeks, and the mileage worked out at an average of 43 miles/week. Compared to 2015, when I finished the London marathon in a time of 3 hrs 06 minutes on an average 52 miles/week, and 2016 when I finished in 2 hrs and 58 minutes on an average of 57 miles/week, the training was certainly on the light side. Saying that, I’d got some good long runs in, and was sure that the warm weather training would be beneficial now the temperature had dropped. I was also weighing in at the lightest I had been for some time, which could only help. Realistically, I didn’t think I could get under 3 hours again, but thought I could be close, so my plan was to run the first 13.1 mile in 90 minutes and see how it went from there.

5:10am on Sunday and I’m up before my alarm goes off. I’d sorted out everything the night before, but it still took me the best part of an hour to eat and get ready, so soon after 6am I was in the car and away. I hadn’t been looking forward to the drive much, and it took me about 1 hour 45 minutes, taking it easy as it was dark and also foggy in places, with the outside temperature about 8 degrees - perfect running conditions though! Parking was in a local school, for which there were plenty of spaces, and the event all took place at the local sports arena, so everything (toilets, baggage, snacks and coffee, and space to warm up) were all close to hand. I spotted the local scouts were selling flapjacks for 50p, so bought some to add to my pre-race banana as I was already feeling peckish from my breakfast 2 hours previously. I stayed dressed until 15 minutes before the start, did one lap of the track just to get the legs moving, and settled in waiting for the starter.

Abingdon marathon is a marathon for serious marathon runners. You won’t find many charity fun-runners here. The only real reason to run it is because it is flat and fast, and the race was packed with lean racers who were certainly not new to this game, looking for that elusive PB that perhaps they had missed at the hottest London marathon earlier in the year. It was 18 months since I last raced the distance, and I was quite nervous whether I’d be able to complete it on the limited training I had done. When the hooter went, there was the usual excited racing off by some runners who forgot that it wasn’t a 5k, but I soon fell into my own pace and let these runners gradually come back to me. 

The route heads out to the east at first to Radley, onto a footpath through Radley lakes (covered in low mist) then back to the west, twisting through the narrow streets of Abingdon town, where we were greeted with some generous support. The route then headed south out of Abingdon, along the River Thames, until it turned sharply to the west again, just before 10k, for the first of two loops through the local villages, each loop approximately 14k. It then headed back towards Abingdon town again, through western part of the town before turning back to the finish at the athletics track.

My memory of races is usually vague, but there were some parts that stuck in my mind:

There was the heavily panting runner who was taking up the whole path through Radley lakes by running in the middle (it was easily two-abreast if you ran to the side). That slowed me down a bit, and I genuinely worried that he could safely run 10k let alone a marathon. 

There were the three runners who drafted behind me for many miles, using me as a slight windbreak against the breeze. I didn’t get annoyed because I was running my own race, but it would have been nice for them to have taken turns at the front. I dropped them both later in the race.

There was the point after about 5 miles when I said to myself “Why am I doing this? It all feels quite hard, and I could just stop and go home early”. That was a strange emotion so early on, and I think I was focusing too much on the remaining distance. I calmed down by telling myself it was just a long training run.

There was the lady runner who caught me somewhere around the 18 mile mark, and it urged me to concentrate on my pace, which must have been slowly dropping. I ran with her for a few miles before she gradually pulled away and finally finished a minute in front of me. 

I remember the joy at seeing the 20 mile marker, and knowing it was only 10k to go. If I could keep my pace up I would finish in a respectable time. Although I was starting to struggle to turn the legs over, it was only in the last 5k that my pace really started to slow. 

As you run through Abingdon town with only 3k to go, you have to negotiate a twisty underpass, and climbing up the short steep far side was torture!

Finishing on the athletics track with a fast 300m sprint where I overtook a few people, including the triathlon legend Annie Emmerson. It was a great conclusion to the race.

So how was my race overall (which you can view on Strava here)? Well, I passed half-way in just over 90 minutes, and proceeded to lose another 3 minutes over the second half. My 10k splits were 42:28, 43:05, 43:43 and 44:34, so no big collapse, just a gradual slowing, although I did get my pace back on track for the final 2.2k which I completed in 9:33. My finish time was 3:03:23, which is my second fastest marathon time, albeit 5 minutes slower than my PB. I placed 152 out of the 744 finished, of which the first 124 ran sub 3 hours. Now that is a quality field of marathon runners!

Would I recommend it? Absolutely - the results speak for themselves! The race has a capacity for 1200 and does sell out, so enter early. It usually opens in mid February and is full within 6 weeks. I got a medal and a t-shirt for my £43, as well as some very sore legs for a few days, followed by a nasty head cold as my immune system wasn’t up for keeping anything at bay!

Next race is the Brighton 10k in 3 weeks. I’ve not run a 10k this year yet due to my long time absence with injury, so it will be interesting to see if I can remember how to pace myself over that shorter distance. I’d like to aim for 38 minutes but I need to shift this cold first and get some speedwork in to see if I have any hope of that. Whatever the outcome, it’s great to be back running well again.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

I sat in a 67 degree sauna for 45 minutes to make my skin glow and boost my wellness, here’s what happened...

https://fashion-trendin.com/i-sat-in-a-67-degree-sauna-for-45-minutes-to-make-my-skin-glow-and-boost-my-wellness-heres-what-happened/

I sat in a 67 degree sauna for 45 minutes to make my skin glow and boost my wellness, here’s what happened...

Like most millennials who work hard, play harder and then try and undo the damage, I’ll do anything in the quest for wellness. Desk full of crystals? Check. £60 splurged on a Himalayan salt lamp? You bet! Daily juices packed with ayuverdic powders I can’t even pronounce? Obviously.

So, when Glow Bar, a new wellness haunt, opened its doors in central London, I *had* to try it.

Glow Bar, which is the most Instagrammable venue I’ve ever set foot in, is a wellness company for women created by Sasha Sabapathy.

Sasha created Glow Bar to help other women manage their stress levels using techniques she’d learnt to battle her own anxiety, including infrared saunas, ‘moon milk’ drinks packed with adaptogen herbs and, of course, crystals.

I know what you’re thinking: heard it all before. However, Glow Bar is unique courtesy of the main attraction: its private infrared sauna pods.

Like most great wellness trends, this one hails from LA and New York. It involves you sitting (and seriously) sweating in an infrared sauna for 45-minutes.

I tried the workout that Selena Gomez and Kim Kardashian are obsessed with – and all it requires is lying down

“Sweating as a means of healing has been used for centuries in cultures from South America to India. Utilising the most modern of technologies, our infrared saunas allow you to have a similar experience with maximised benefits,” says Sasha.

The benefits

Glowing skin: Infrared therapy stimulates collagen production while healing your skin from the surface to deeper levels. The action of profusely sweating at a lower temperature means that your skin literally glows from the moment you leave, according to Sasha.

Mood-booster: The infrared saunas have been proven to release endorphins in your brain, helping to lower cortisol levels. This leaves you feeling a “runners high” when you’re done giving you the same benefit as a workout without the hard work. Sign us up.

Better sleep: 45-minute long infrared sauna sessions help your mind and muscles to relax in a substantial way, helping you to have a better nights sleep and reset bad sleeping patterns.

Better wellbeing: Increased circulation, detoxification and immune system boosting are all wonderful effects from infrared therapy. Research has shown that profuse sweating can reduce mercury levels in the body in addition to fighting infections, making our saunas the perfect lifestyle choice for those with a seafood heavy diet or if you’re fighting a cold.

The review

The best part about the pods is that you can take a friend in with you and trust me, you’ll need the moral support.

We were led into possibly the chicest changing room I’ve witnessed and given branded dressing gowns before heading into the pod itself. There’s a waiting area kitted out with an aromatherapy diffuser and bottles of Fiji water, as well as charcoal-infused water, which you’ll get through *pretty* quickly. They advise you to sit in the sauna naked but my friend and I opted for bikinis. You can plug your phone in to play your own music or a podcast, take a book in or just sit in silence.

Optimistically, we started chatting away but after the first 20 minutes went by, we were so hot we couldn’t stifle a word of conversation.

I’ll be honest, I left the room approximately 5 times to catch my breath but the 45 minutes did pass pretty quickly.

After our ‘sweat sesh’, we were treated to super refreshing ‘moon milks’ – a concoction of delicious macqui Berry, ashwagandha and lavender – and perused the carefully curated self-care products available in the shop.

The pods cost £40 a session (but you can get the first two for £55 or add a friend into yours for £15) and considering my friend and I would usually splurge over £50 each on a prosecco-fuelled meal that we probably wouldn’t remember, we agreed it was a worthwhile investment.

After a two-week holiday full of too much sangria and tapas, my evening at Glow Bar left me feeling revitalised and upbeat. It was honestly the perfect mood boost. I had trouble sleeping (possibly due to the endorphins) but my colleagues all noted my skin was glowing the next day.

Want to get your glow on? Glow Bar is open now on Mortimer Street, London.

Meet Sasha Sabapathy: The beauty boss behind Glow Bar

These days you’ll find 28-year-old Sasha Sabapathy drinking matcha tea in her cosy North London home; a ginger cat and fluffy Shih Tzu within patting distance. The soundtrack of Hamiliton is blasting in the background as she goes over the plans for her modern wellness brand, Glow Bar.

It’s a long way from the stressed and anxious 20-year-old – unhappy and far from home in New York – that she used to be.

But then she always had that entrepreneurial spirit, it just took some really sh*t times to spark the idea of something good.

Here, she shares her story of how she improved her mental health, the life moments that led to the beginning of her business and what gives her the mental stamina to keep going.

My first ever job was selling rocks for charity – yes, really!

Sasha’s success started young, with a booming paperweight business that she sold like contraband in the schoolyard.

“I would literally go hunting for pebble shaped rocks in my garden, give them a good clean, paint them, and rebrand them as paperweights.”, says Sasha. “Even as a child I was really aware of unfairness in the world and used the sales to raise money for charity.”

When she couldn’t peddle her school friends for money, she would sell her leftover “stock” to her Dad.

My early 20s were a struggle…

Stuck in a draining job and trying to keep up with the fast-paced big city life, Sasha’s wellness reached a low point while living abroad.

“Stress and anxiety was something that I really struggled with when I was living in New York”, says Sasha. “I constantly felt like the worst version of myself and was really unhappy. My skin was terrible and my energy levels were low.”

Sasha says she has her friend Izzy to thank for what happened next…

“When she discovered I was suffering from anxiety, she told me about Ashwagandha – a herb to relax and calm the mind, encourage better sleep and uplift your mood – she was the one who told me to give it a try.”

Ashwagandha root has typically been used in Ayurveda for centuries. The mind-body system, which began in India, is often sought out as a complementary or alternative medicine for those looking to improve their mental health.

Herbs and mushrooms became a way to manage

Growing up in Malaysia, Sasha was familiar with the use of natural plants as a way to heal and embraced Izzy’s suggestion.

“After taking Ashwagandha for a few weeks, I realised that I was coping with stress in a different way, and as a result began taking other adaptogenic herbs and mushrooms.”

From her personal experience, Sasha discovered that some herbs worked better for stress levels (like Ashwagandha), while others were better for energy (like Maca).

“I soon began to see serious changes and improvements within myself and in my skin.”

Following her move back to London, Sasha found that a lot of her friends were experiencing the same stress, anxiety and energy slump she’d experienced in New York, which is when the idea for Glow Bar began to form.

I wanted to launch one product, but I ended up launching three

Having taken multiple herbs and capsules every day for years, Sasha originally wanted to launch just one powerful adaptogen herb blend to beat them all.

“However, after doing some research and discovering that stress affected women in three different ways (inflamed skin, bad mood and lowered sex drive/energy), I decided to launch three really focused blends.”

Using her own knowledge and personal practice as a starting point, Sasha starting mixing herbs at home to determine which ones were best for targeting the aforementioned side-effects of stress.

“My own knowledge really helped me, but I still had to do a lot of research regarding my products. I read almost every scientific and eastern healing book on adaptogen herbs and devoured scientific studies. There were some herbs that research led me to, like, Astragalus – an immune boosting herb – which is in Super Happy.”

Any new herb discovered, Sasha would test individually herself, for an extended period of time, to determine their effectiveness and which blend they belonged in.

I set up shop in my living room

There’s no rule book when it comes to starting your own business. Sasha was studying to be a chef Le Cordon Bleu for 9-12 hours a day, and then coming home to read about herbs and work on her branding at night.

“I soon realised that if I was willing to sacrifice much-needed sleep and mental rest for this brand then it was something I should probably be doing full-time.”

“The day I graduated I officially set up shop in my living room and the rest is pretty much history.”

Glow Bar is still one of the only brands to sell Organic Ashwagandha in a powdered format.

The products I sell helped me for years, and now I get to help other women

Running your own company has to be one of the most stress-inducing jobs to undertake – an irony that isn’t lost on Sasha.

“It is so easy to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment thinking about work and what you could be doing better.”

“I’ve learned to spend some time every day thinking about absolutely nothing – whether it’s on a long walk with my dog or having a long soak in the tub. This time always gives me the mental stamina to keep pushing myself.”

Of course, doing something you truly love and believe keeps the light alive…

“These products have already helped me for so many years and knowing that they will help other women feel happier and more confident in themselves brings me so much joy – and makes the long nights worth it!”

If you or anyone you know is suffering from stress or anxiety, visit mind.org.uk.

[artsoccupychi]

Can A Sauna Help You Live Longer?

In Scandinavia, saunas have been used for centuries to promote wellness, and it turns out that the Russians and Finns may have understood something the rest of us didn’t.

Saunas are historically small rooms used as hot-air or steam baths, or, an exciting modern variation with many additional health benefits, an infrared sauna uses penetrating healing rays to heat not just the skin, but organs and tissues as well.

A growing body of evidence shows them to be a powerful force for health that can trigger our body’s healing and anti-aging mechanisms, as well as fight feelings of anxiety and depression.

How could a hot room do that? The way saunas benefit the body is a pretty amazing process.

Beneficial Stress

Most folks think of stress as an absolute negative, but there is such a thing as good stress, or “hormesis.” Exercise is a good example of that: we get our hearts pounding, we raise our blood pressure, we create micro-tears in our muscles, and eventually, we rebuild and get stronger. It’s a short-term stressor that does us good.

Another example of helpful stressors are the body exposed to toxins or bacteria triggers an immune response, which creates a “memory” and an organization of factors that make your immune system stronger against future threats.

Heat can be the same way, causing a “healthy” type of stress on the body, and controlled exposure to high heat like in a sauna can have a host of health benefits.

The Science of  the Sauna

While sitting in the sauna, your body releases endorphins as well as a brain chemical called dynorphin, which counteracts the endorphins and cools your body down, and makes you feel uncomfortable with the heat.

Here’s where things start to get interesting.

The dynorphins create a chemical response that actually makes you more sensitive to endorphins. As you know, endorphins are the body’s natural “happy chemical” that combat pain, increase feelings of wellbeing and security, and improve the immune response.

Think about that. Sweating it out for a bit can help upgrade your emotional state and reduce anxiety and depression.

Recent studies are showing that saunas can help you live longer!

And saunas can help you live longer. A Finnish study¹ followed a group of sauna-using men for 20 years and took into account everything that could affect the outcome of the data like lifestyle, body fat percentage, socioeconomic status, etc., and made some exciting determinations.

Men who used the sauna 2-3 times per week were 27% less likely to die from cardiovascular disease than men who took a sauna once a week. Men who used it 4-7 times per week were 50% less likely to die from cardiovascular disease. That’s a significant difference.

But it doesn’t stop there.

This study also found that non-accidental deaths in sauna users were lowered overall, meaning other causes of death like cancer, autoimmune disease, and stroke were impacted favorably. The 2-3 times per week users had a  24% lower mortality rate than the once-weekly users, and 4-7 times per week users were 40% less likely to die of non-accidental death.

The study carefully controlled for other factors, and ruled out that these were correlations rather than causation.

How does this happen? As Rhonda Patrick, Ph.D., explained in her presentation at the Biohacker Summit in 2016, there are a few key processes happening here.

The first is that the body’s Heat Shock Proteins (HSP) are activated. HSP repairs damage and makes proteins return to their normal structure, which can help prevent neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s Disease as well as cardiovascular diseases.

She explained that the heat also causes activity in the FOXO3 gene, which is a master regulator gene. It’s like the manager of other genes, telling them what to do and when. FOXO3 tells your body to create more white blood cells and stem cells, and tells your cancer-protective and antioxidant genes to get to work, detoxing your body at a cellular level.

FOXO3 is also linked to longevity. So when you sit in a sauna, your FOXO3 gene gets a jolt of energy and tells your other genes to work harder at making you healthier.

Sauna use can also temporarily raise levels² of human growth hormones, which play a role in metabolism and muscle repair after exercise.

And saunas just feel good.  My sauna calms me like nothing else can–perfect at the end of the day, and especially perfect in the winter.

I use my skin brush at the beginning of my session, stretch out on a towel, listen to the CD player that came in my sauna, and read a book.

I get passive cardio exercise, since my heart rate goes up from 50 to 90 just sitting for half an hour. This is great for when the day gets away from me and I didn’t get out for a run. Because research shows that the calorie burn of a 30-minute sauna session is the equivalent of a 30-minute slow jog!

Lately, I’ve been adding an additional benefit, that might sound a bit crazy to you. And that is, I increase the cardiovascular, immune function, and “feel-good” endorphin benefits, by jumping in the bathtub full of ice in cold water, at the end of my sauna time! When I have time, I do a second cycle: another 15 minutes in the sauna, and another cold plunge.

Bags of ice in my bathtub–for my “cold plunge” after a 30-minute sauna session!

For a long time, I was scared of the ice bath–and thought about doing it, rather than actually doing it. On a research tour, many years ago, I studied at a clinic in Michigan that had a Russian sauna next to an icy-cold stream. We’d sauna for as long as we could stand it, then jump in the cold stream, we’d all scream, and then run back in the sauna. It’s momentarily terrifying, and also the most invigorating thing I’ve ever done!

I felt equally amazing starting to do this at home recently (now I’m a daily addict and keep 20-pound bags of ice in my freezer). Turns out, you don’t have to have a stream in your backyard, or a cryogenic chamber–you can do this with a bathtub and bag of ice.

My skin looks so good, after the sauna and ice plunge, and I’ve been doing it in the early morning after a workout, every day. It makes me ready to tackle the day. The endorphin rush is incredible!

The evidence is pretty clear that the benefits of sauna use (and cold plunges, too) are more than folklore.  It’s why I have my own sauna at home, and why I arrange a wholesale Group Buy of HealthMate saunas every year.

It’s the most sought-after infrared sauna in the world, by the company who manufactures for many of the others, so we’re able to get you the wholesale price–directly from the wholesaler company! Unlike most sauna companies, the radioactive EMF (electromagnetic frequencies) emitted in the sauna

Once a year, they also give our readers some great accessories for their sauna, as bonuses (this year, in 2017, the freebies available in the annual group buy end Nov. 24).

This blog post is a digest of Rhonda Patrick, PhD’s YouTube video, which you can watch here.

Or, check out my short video showing you my own sauna and what I love about it. And learn more in the webinar I taught with Health Mate Sauna, all about why infrared healing rays are the best detox you can achieve in your own home, with many health benefits.

  Sources:

Laukkanen T, Khan H, Zaccardi F, Laukkanen JA. (2015) Association between sauna bathing and fatal cardiovascular and all-cause mortality events. JAMA Intern Med.

Lammintausta R, Syvälahti E, Pekkarinen A. (1976) Change in hormones reflecting sympathetic activity in the Finnish sauna. Ann Clin Res.

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[thebackroadtourist]

My Week in Bosnia: Belgians, Yoga, and a Homophobe.

The tequila bottle steadily made its’ way around us as the European fir trees towered over our petite wooden shack. 90’s hits blared from my iPhone as the mosquitos danced to the rhythm of ‘Here Comes The Hotstepper”. Outside our hut the Tara river flowed gracefully as the cold night breeze kept us huddled inside. The rafting boats sat still in the night as the stars reflected their light off the Balkan cliffs that surrounded us. It was midnight. Early the next morning we would journey on a 5 hour rafting trip through Bosnia and Montenegro. Around the tequila went, each mouth taking turns cupping the lip of the bottle until we reached the bottom. Instinctual dancing ensued, creating a ripple of energy in the calm setting of the remote village we were in. We didn’t care, because who were we in that moment? Just a trio of humans randomly selected by the universe and placed in virtually the middle of nowhere. No wifi signals could distract us, no job could stress us, no school could dread us, and nothing in our environment could cease our human nature to laugh, dance and be free in that moment. Little did I know these young and adventurous tequila companions of mine would become like family for me in the following days.

I had met the Belgians 3 days ago as I stumbled off the 14 hour night train From Serbia to Montenegro. We shared a taxi together to the bus station in Bar, where they had planned to stay as I caught a bus to Budva. They had mentioned they were headed to Budva the next day, but I never saw them there and had not been expecting to see them. 

If there is one thing I’ve learned throughout my travels, it’s that the backpacking community is small - very small. An Indian guy I met in Spain was on the bus with me from Slovenia to Croatia. A Portuguese Girl I briefly lived with in Costa Rica bumped into me in Colombia. Two Dutch guys I befriended in Belgrade were at my hostel in Sarajevo. A girl I rode a ferry with in Albania ran into me in Tirana and traveled with me to Macedonia. The list goes on and on. It’s easy to bump into each other by random because the destinations are quite similar and paths often cross.

We awoke early the next morning, geared up and prepped to set out on the Tara river. We had an hour to kill and one of the girls requested we do yoga. I had mentioned the night before that I was a certified yoga instructor. We lay our wetsuits on the wooden staircase attached to our hut and found a flat surface on the campground to practice. They had never done yoga before. I guided them through the basics and was impressed at how quickly they picked my cues despite the slight language barrier. They even understood “Down-dog” “Warrior” and “Pigeon”, raising my skepticism that it was indeed their first time, along with their flawless technique. Halfway through our flow I heard “My grandma wants me to teach her what you teach us.” I paused, those unexpected words riddled my mind for a minute. And for that moment I felt kind of cool. Cool because somewhere in the world there will be a Belgian granny busting out Mike Ryan yoga moves. I laughed at the image of a grandma doing headstands with her granny-friends and leaving a Mike Ryan yoga trail amongst grandmas in the country of Belgian. We ended the session with a child’s pose before we threw on our life vests and hit the waters. 

That night we took a bus to Sarajevo, the muslim dense capital of Bosnia where thousands of civilians lost their lives in a devastating 44 month war just 20 years ago. You could feel the energy of the town - damaged yet on the rise. Bosnia is relatively safe, yet known to be the sketchiest of all former Yugoslavian countries; the one country in the Balkans where a few backpackers have shared stories with me of hearing a gun shot, getting pick-pocketed or experiencing a conflict of some kind let alone a mean stare. The bus arrived at dusk, 15 kilometers outside the city center so we scanned for a taxi. After several attempts, I flagged one down and negotiated a semi-decent price to our hostel. The cabby had an attitude and was not the most welcoming guy, maybe in part that I fought to get his price lowered. With myself in the front seat  and the Belgians in the back, we made our way out of the Sarajevo boondocks, the lights of the city center upon us in the distance. We were half way to our hostel when one of the Belgian’s realized she had left her iPhone on the bus. Shit. Despite the odds of never seeing her phone again, they kept calm - like yogis. We called her phone and a Bosnian guy answered without a lick of English was spoken. We put him on the phone with our cabby as I gestured to our driver to speak with him. He looked extremely annoyed at this point, with not a lick of English spoken from his mouth either. He said a few words with the man from the other end and passed the phone back to the Belgian girl before whipping the car around in a U-turn and as he muttered the words “bus garage”. We accelerated towards the way we came, towards the apparent “bus garage” to retrieve the phone, so we assumed. We had no choice but to trust the universe on this one. It was dark now and the cabby sped with authority through the poverty-ridden residential neighborhoods and other unfamiliar sights as we passed many dead-end street signs along the way. At this point I think the three of us were experiencing horrific ransom-like images in our minds as the bald-headed broad-chested stoned-faced cabby winded through the shadows of the night, the mountains in front of us now, the lights of the city behind us. A few more disconcerting turns later and we arrived to our destination: A group of Bosnian men standing there, waiting for us in front of what appeared to be a house. My heart hastened as the men creeped towards us in unison like a pack of gorillas. The lead man knocked on my passenger side window. I rolled it down just a quarter way to be safe. My eyes darted from man to man, and then - the iPhone! I spotted it! It glistened off the moonlight in the hands of one of the men. The man with the phone then reached toward the opening of my window with a smile and in a soft tone said “Here is your phone” as he handed it to me. I thanked him profusely as he smiled and waved as we drove off, back towards the center of town. I thanked God, or Allah, or whoever was in charge that day for letting us keep our possessions, and kidneys for that matter. Supposedly organ hunting is a thing in this part of the world, though extremely rare - it can happen. 

Alas, the night wasn’t over yet. We approached the hostel, worn out from our long day of rafting, traveling and timid cab rides. As we entered inside the first people we saw were my dutch friends from Belgrade, completely out of nowhere! How random. What had intended to be a night of sleep escalated into a rejoice with the Dutchies, enthused with our spontaneous reunion. Chevapi, beers and bars with live music proceeded until the Dutchie’s went back to catch an early morning bus to Split. And finally, after nearly 24 hours of an action packed day, we laid our heads down to slumber. 

The town of Sarajevo was beautiful, Sarajevo meaning “Palace in the Valley” a name given by the Ottoman Empire just 500 years ago when the town was discovered. An “new” town, for European standards. Despite a stifling 40% unemployment rate the town was quite welcoming, with the beauty of over 200 mosques and unique architecture which stretched long down the river that split the town into two. Turkish food, markets, and Muslims occupied most of the town, but one small vegetarian restaurant stood out so we decided to try it. With so much meat in the past few days, weeks even, we were all craving some veggies.

The ambience was calm and inviting, decorative painting of colorful fruits and vegetables covered the walls of the cafe, a little tacky looking but light-hearted.   Our waiter seemed nice at first, poking fun with us and being the charming guy that he came off to be. Then half way through our entree he walked up to our table, turned towards me and said “You man, you are SO handsome!” I laughed and thanked him, unsure of where he was going with this. “Are you heterosexual? You’re with all these beautiful women!” He continued to ask more questions, some quite personal, until I humorously interjected “Bro are you hitting on me?” The Belgian girls giggled as his face turned red. 

“No man, I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t gay. Because that would be such a waste. I can’t understand how some handsome guys are GAY! It’s sad,” he pointed to his head and shook it in disgust. The laughter at the table ceased as our smiles came to to a halt. I cleared my throat. “You know man, maybe you should be gay - you would get laid a lot more. Gay guys really know how to have a good time. In fact, they are the funnest people in the world to be around.” With an astonished look on his face he frowned, realized that we weren’t a force to reckon with and he walked away. Moments later he dropped our check on our table without stopping and not a word came out of him. It was a shock to hear this guy openly admit his homophobia to a group of foreigners. Nonetheless, it was an experience that illustrated where some countries and their people are on the progression scale.

We arrived back to our hostel that night and the 3 of us hugged and bid our farewells. It was 5 days of adventure through Bosnia together, and that night I would take a 9 hour bus ride to Ulcinj. I knew I would miss these girls. I wanted to take them with me but as with all travel relationships, abrupt endings are inevitable. The Belgian girls left an impression on me, and inspired a future pit stop to Belgium for my next Euro-trip. I just hope they hold on to their phones.