#i truly believe that if this is such a sensitive situation as it was originally made out to be

[justcallmecj]

Seeing Your Dragon Form: First Years

(I feel like this chapter of the series may be crappier than the previous ones. I'm slowly running out of ideas and have used up quite a bit of my writing energy recently. I've come to realize that writing for the First Year Squad is just harder for me because I'm used to the pure crackhead energy the fandom gives them, but I'm still going strong! Oh well, I really want to write, so here I am!)

^Original note from Quotev that I put prior to the chapter. As a sort of mini explanation for my mindset going into this one.

Ace

Ace wanted to look unimpressed and chill, but he was currently losing it, and you could tell.

When you finally settled down, he approached you with his hands behind his head, really trying to hit home the idea he wasn't fanboying over you right now.

You brought your head down to allow him to get a closer look as well as touch your horns and snout.

He was a lot gentler than you thought he'd be.

He carefully ran his hand up and down your snout, making you hum in the process.

He tried talking to you, getting frustrated when you'd only hum and growl, before those two working brain cells in his head worked and he figured out that you couldn't actually talk.

He doesn't know, for some reason, a part of his brain just assumed you'd be able to talk.

Despite the current situation, Ace's behavior didn't change. He still tried to tease you, coming up basically unsuccessful because that's just how it is between the two of you, didn't stop him though.

Once, when you weren't paying attention, he tried to climb onto your back, not expecting the reaction that you'd have.

When you realized, you rolled over, trapping him under you. Due to the size difference, he was completely stuck, despite how much effort he put into trying to push you off him. You made sure not to hurt him though, and you didn't.

He could practically hear you laughing, even if it just came out as draconic grumbles.

sigh "You really never change, huh? You big bully! Though honestly, what can I say? I'm the same way, and I wouldn't want you any other way."

Deuce

Deuce was certainly nervous.

No fear. His brazen, delinquent years prepared him to take on any challenge that may be thrown at him, but this was definitely different.

He was stunned for a decent while after you transformed. Just kinda standing there, frozen in place.

Pretty sure his brain fried for a moment.

When he finally came back to his sense, he tried to play it all off with compliments, but really, there was no tricking you, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt and ignored it.

He was the most interesting by your wings.

(If I remember correctly)One of the reasons he likes being on the Track Team/Magical Wheel(?Can't remember which), is feeling the wind rush past him when he picks up speed. Because of this, he really admired your wings, which could do the same thing but ten fold.

He really wanted to ask you to take him on a flight with you, but was too shy to ask out loud. Maybe one day he'll have the confidence.

He made sure to be extra careful around parts like your horns, tail and other parts that may be considered sensitive/vulnerable. He didn't want to risk being even a little to rough and hurting you. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt you. (He doesn't realize how tough dragon skin and scales are, just give him a while).

All in all, it was a pleasant experience for the both of you. He had fun getting to see a new side of you, and you got to have a breather in your dragon form with no worries about who's around you.

"This is truly amazing. I can't believe you're capable of something like this. You really make NRC much more fun than it would be if you weren't here."

Jack

His reaction was much different from the others.

You and him are pretty similar in more ways than some may think.

Both of you are non-human beings capable of turning into a natural animal form. Him a wolf, you a dragon.

He was calm, but astounded. He didn't think you'd be quite so big.

He gets bigger than a normal wolf when he uses his Unique Magic, but he always assumed that was because he's a bigger person himself. Maybe it's just natural for anyone capable of this ability.

He was cautious to approach, not fully aware of how conscious you are, taking his own wolf state into account.

You just sat down, tail resting on the forest floor, wings at rest, showing just how comfortable you were in the situation. That convinced him that nothing had changed except how you looked.

He sat next to you, showing the same peaceful signs. Tail resting and ears calm.

You came closer, laying your head down next to his side. He reached out a hand and gently stroked the top of your head.

You two just stayed there like that for a while. Peacefully enjoying each others calm presence, until he stopped petting you.

You had gotten so used to the feeling and were so close to falling asleep, him stopping upset you.

In retaliation, you picked up your head and placed it down in his lap. He panicked for a moment before freezing, not knowing quite what to do.

He soon recognized the affectionate action. It was one his younger sister and brother would do when they wanted affection without actually saying they wanted affection. A silent plea.

He placed his hand back on your head, petting you like he was not even a minute ago. Sometimes he'd move his hand and scratch behind your ear, which caused you to hum and delight.

"We really are more alike than I thought. Are you sure you're not just a dog in disguise?" You grumbled at the playful tease, making him laugh.

Epel

Epel actually reacted much differently than you expected.

The moment he saw your dragon form, he wasted no time in rushing over and didn't even attempt to hide his complete adoration.

He jump up and down, bouncing on the heel of his feet. He rushed around, taking in every detail about you that he could.

His attention to speech completely leaves his mind and his natural accent slips in until he's speaking with such a think accent it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying.

This may very well be the most excited you've seen Epel act, other than when he's getting competitive.

When he was finally able to wrap his head around everything and calm down, his demeanor changed on the dime, much like his personality can.

He softly took hold of your snout and held if close to his chest with his arms holding onto the underside of your head, something he likes to do even when you're in your normal form. For him, it's a show of trust, one he knew you'd understand.

A soft hum found its way out of your throat. He giggled at the affection.

You both took a rest and talked. It may have been a one-sided conversation, but he didn't mind.

He rambled on and on to fill the silence, accompanied with the occasional scratch under the chin.

There was a moment where he got jealous about how much bigger you were than him normally, let alone now. But, he soon got over it after thinking about how it must have just been natural since you weren't human.

"As much as I think it's unfair you can do all these cool things about how you look while I'm stuck like this, I'm still really happy that you opened up to me. I know what it's like to not be content with how you look, but we can do our own thing together!"

Sebek

Now, normally, Sebek is really respectful towards you. A byproduct from how he treats Malleus and how similar the two of you are.

Throughout the school year, it's taken some work, but you've gotten him to truly see you as a friend, not just another fae.

But, things did change a little bit after seeing your dragon form.

He's never seen Malleus's, because Malleus sees no use in taking his dragon form most of the time, so he didn't quite know what he was expecting to see from you.

When he watched a massive, spike covered, ice coated dragon walked out of the mist that practically came out of now where, he was honestly a little scared.

He remembered a story Lilia had told him and Silver once. It was about how once, when Malleus was young, he changed forms after throwing a temper-tantrum. After that, Sebek just started associating the idea with anger.

But, his time as a guard(and your friend) allowed him to be more observant than some. He saw every cue that would tell your current mood. There was no anger, only a calm curiosity. A curiosity towards him.

The idea of you watching him with the intention to see how he'd react embarrassed him. He turned his head to hide the reddening of his cheeks, but he didn't realize the red had crept up his ears and right into your watchful gaze.

You made a sound, one he didn't recognize, but it sounded faintly like laughter.

You were laughing at him!!!

He stomped a foot and grumbled under his breath, only causing you make more of the laughing sounds.

After that whole fiasco, Sebek finally felt comfortable enough to let down his guard.

His sharp hearing allowed him to quickly pick up on the different meanings of certain sounds, enough to have a semi-coherent conversation. He made sure to keep his voice quieter than usual, only being able to guess how sensitive your hearing may be right now.

Eventually, the interaction between the two of you fell into a comfortable and familiar conversation, like nothing was different about this scenario than usual.

"I really should be finding Waka-sama right now, but as Silver has told me, I may need to lighten up. So, we'll stay here for a while longer." His voice got just a bit quieter, "Thank you for showing me this."

And then the original note I put on Quotev after the chapter-

(Well, I think this set actually came out a lot better than I initially though it would. These five weren't as hard to write for as they usually are once I actually started soooo- YAY!!)

You can see the mindset change, wow.

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

Sister Moon Sign Dynamics 1

Gemini & Sagittarius Moons

The astrology of the sister moon sign basically Gemini Moon are rational creative thinkers who are always coming up with schemes to mess themselves up or mess others up because they are self destructive rascals who like to test the limits that with themselves and others because they're naturally curious and seek to uncover patterns. this makes them work well with Sagittarius moons because Sagittarius are action-oriented and they like to test the limits physically. Sagittarius are also looking to uncover patterns but more so within concepts and theories as they are the sign that rules over philosophy.

When this Duo is together they are quite chaotic but they also enjoy each other's company and they both have a low attention span. Therefore this makes it easy for them to always entertain each other with new ideas new topics and learn from one another. this is the true partners in crime duo because Gemini's always coming up with fun plans and ideas and Sagittarius is always down for them.

Oftentimes the person acting out the plan or schemes on the front will be a Sagittarius moon in the person behind the scheme is a Gemini Moon. Sagittarius gets a bad rap for being unloyal but these people are devoted when it comes to taking action for you so Sagittarius will be devoted to Gemini Moon by constantly being down for them they'll be down for any adventure or any plan, they will always be there when the gemini moon wants to do something.

Gemini moons actually help keep Sagittarius moons in check because Sagittarius easily gets carried away or too excited while Gemini knows how to rationalize Sagittarius and help organize their thoughts with their Mercurial influence. Sagittarius helps Gemini feel more at ease will also lightning up the room they like to show them new perspectives as Gemini can easily become nitpicky or critical of themselves and others Gemini is a naturally anxious sign so Sagittarius helps them feel at home.

I truly think Gemini moons honesty can be just as brutal to Sagittarius Moon's so Gemini's are the best sign to keep Sagittarius in check because they understand them but they also aren't afraid to tell Sagittarius the truth using logic and reason when Sagittarius acts purely based off of their feelings in situations that require a level head. Gemini Moons tend to be much colder on the surface while Sagittarius moons are much warmer.

This particularly makes them an interesting duo because they both have that soft and tough duality to them. Gemini moons appear cold on the outside but they are very friendly soft and sensitive on the inside well Sagittarius moons are very sensitive friendly and passionate on the outside but on the inside they're very resilient and tough. I think this adds to the whole Devil versus Angel exterior they present when they are together.

Usually because they're so polar with their mindsets they actually tend to not work that great together in group projects because Sagittarius wants to go full-out, they don't think of rational ideas they always want to come up with the original and extravagant ideas. While Gemini wants to make something easy efficient and logical. however once Sagittarius gets over their stubborn ego (I'm saying this as a sag moon 💀) they eventually work really well together and come up with the greatest ideas.

Leo & Aquarius Moons

These two moon signs are funny to witness together. Usually, Aquarius is so chill that Leo gets annoyed by how calm and indifferent Aquarius is, wondering why they lack passion. However Aquarius moons have this fire in them that balance a Leo moons individual spark. Aquarius the sign of humanity is incredibly sacrifical as theytend to think that no one is special and everyone is the same. So naturally they try to give their best to everyone as they believe everyone is equal and deserves the same respect. Leo moons on the other hand believe everyone has a special unique charm to them, everyone has something that makes them different and stand out but they don't believe that someone is above another

They believe that everyone has different qualities that can be used for something great. Leo's see a lot of potential in people being the sign associated with Fame and ruling over the heart. There's always a fire burning within Leo's why was Aquarius there's always space to be explored within their mind. Leo shows Aquarius what life is, while Aquarius shows Leo's how to work with people and how to make things happen within a community.

Because sometimes Leo's can become stubborn to the point where they don't like to work with people they like to do everything on their own but Aquarius knows that's not how Leo's will get recognition. They need to work with people in order to make great things happen. Aquarius also shows Leo the perspectives and understanding behind the worlds problems. As, sometimes Leo's can be so caught up in their own head and in their own game they don't realize what other people are going through around them

Aquarius shows that part of humanity that Leo's ignore due to being focused on their own passions. Leo's are very generous they rule over the heart so they do often care for and protect other people and have high emotional intelligence, but they can get so caught up with their passion they lose sight of other paths or other directions.

Aquarius numbs Leo's Ego, Leo's commonly tear themselves apart and they're usually very insecure or they acted very arrogant to compensate for their insecurities. Therefore Aquarius knows how to show Leo that not everything comes from the ego and you can detach yourself to the point where not everything feels like a personal attack.

This Duo is like musical instruments to me they playoff one another's ideas they bounce off of each other and they harmonize. They are both very passionate although Leo exudes the passion from outside well Aquarius keeps it inside but they are both very focused on what they want in life.

They both usually ever since kids think they are meant to change the world and make it a better place to their own values. They feed off of each other's energy but you can often find them as rivals as it's a battle between mind and ego personified. I usually think this pairing could become famous bandmates or something can showcase their creative talents and their dedication towards them.

Taurus & Scorpio Moons

Taurus aims to get out of their comfort zone but is too scared to do so, while Scorpios aim for stability. Taurus is grounded practical and reasonable they see things how they are and they operate off of that. they often solidify whatever is put in front of them. they're naturally cautious and competent people. They do enjoy the Finer Things in life and find it necessary in order to make them feel comfortable wherever they are. Usually they have a favourite bag that makes the biggest difference when they set out to achieve their goals and feel off when they don't have their material items that comfort them.

They probably have Lucky Charms that they bring with them because although they're very practical they are open to superstitious beliefs long as there is reason for them see it working in their life. Scorpio Moon's on the other hand are trying to find stability. A Scorpio moon's biggest fear is losing everything they worked hard for like their home or a relationship. Any significant foundation in their life that can be threatened is their biggest fear as they were exposed to losing these things as kids and often unfairly and in a tragic event.

They know what it's like to lose everything and feel empty. This is why they are seen as controlling and skeptical. They're also known for being obsessive because they don't want anything to fall apart or be taken advantage of under their watch. Taurus moons on the other hand are exalted therefore they are used to living in comfort and being cared for physically on the emotional plane, because their mom was very practical and logical usually gifting items or cooking food as a type of support.

While Scorpio moons are used to being criticized, blackmailed, or micro-managed by their mom or family. Scorpio moons like Taurus moons because they don't try to control the Scorpio Moon and provide an emotional and physical support system for the Scorpio they can't find anywhere else.

Scorpios appreciate actions over words because they know words can be empty or used as forms of blackmail and Taurus are naturally action-oriented and care through physical affection or acts of service. This is highly valued by Scorpio Moons because they feel safest with this type of support. And for once in their lives don't feel the need to question it.

Scorpio moons do transform Taurus moons through helping them believe in the unknown. They show Taurus that not every problem can be seen nor fixed and are good at protecting Taurus moons from people with bad intentions.

Taurus moons do have good boundaries with people but oftentimes they question if they even know who to trust or not, while Scorpio moons can instinctively feel out who is trustworthy and who isn't. This dynamic is based off of trust and boundaries.

Taurus Moon's build-up Scorpio news sense of self-worth and help them understand is worth their time or hard work and what isn't. Scorpios make a Taurus realize that in order for relationships or projects to progress they have to integrate change instead of everything staying the same.

Taurus are usually quite uncomfortable with conflict but they understand it's needed sometimes with Scorpios help. they're both stubborn and quite devoted which gives them the superpower never losing track of what they want in life. They both don't let people into their lives easily because they either click with you or they don't and understand how important energy is to them so they do self-preserve themselves to an extent.

However Scorpio moons often fall trap to trying to rescue people those people are Taurus moons and sometimes they're not. Either way Scorpio Moons learn how to self-preserve healthily instead of blocking people out, and don't act or form opinions based on assumptions right away due to understanding from Taurus that there should be healthy balances in what a Scorpio moon feels.

They're both highly sensual and appreciate the desires in life, using it to their full power and feeling valued as a pair even as they go through tough situations. They both like power and knowing they can't be taken advantage of by others through their personal power.

[jokeroutsubs]

ENG translation: "When I'm on stage, I know that I have to be here and only here"

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin in Slovenian newspaper Delo, originally published 31.10.2021.

Original article is available here for Delo subscribers. Original article written by Beti Burger for Delo; photos by Blaž Samec; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

Bojan Cvjetićanin, frontman of Joker Out, says that the success happening to them is not the result of something that happened overnight.

When he's standing on stage, he doesn't know what's actually going on. Even though after the concert, he realises that he was on it, and remembers certain moments, he's actually in a zen-like state: his head is somewhere else, and his brain does what it wants to do. Young, reflective musician Bojan Cvjetićanin believes that he was born to write music and lyrics and sing them on stage. "What I enjoy the most at a concert is when we play a new song from start to finish with the band for the first time and we're 'vibing'."

And if some of the lines above did not have context yet when we talked the day before the first concert, and sort of 'hung in the air', in packed Cvetličarna it was crystal clear what he had wanted to say. They were 'vibing' not only when they played well-known hits - Omamljeno telo, Umazane misli, Vem da greš - but also to new songs from the album, when they felt the strong energy and heard the audience was singing the new songs with them... She'll find herself there, where no one knows her, where the road always carries the smell of fresh rain (...) where pearls are in seashells, not on necklaces (Barve oceana).

Bojan truly, as he said, seems a little distant on stage, as if he's in his own world, but also in contact with the audience at the same time. He is both confident and childishly playful at once, with a wide smile on his face, with the charisma of an experienced frontman. His friend and member of the band, bassist Martin Jurkovič, with whom they started their musical journey as young teenagers already, described him well in an interview as someone who "draws all the attention to himself and the band during a concert". When the band members look at each other during a gig, they recognise each other's exact thoughts, and a kind of perversion of pleasure happens. We witnessed this exact thing at the album presentation.

"On stage, I feel sexy, I feel free and accepted. I'm on autopilot and I'm never thinking about what my next move will be, it's when I'm 'free as a bird' because I am surrounded by friends who know me very well, so I don't have to be ashamed of anything. It's also a good feeling when you know that there is a crowd of people in the hall who came to our concert because they like something that we give them. This mutual accumulation of love and energy is very strong." Are there places where he doesn't feel accepted, I query his words. "I think that we all sometimes find ourselves in a situation when we feel like we don't belong there and we ask ourselves what we're even doing there. When I'm on stage, however, I know that I have to be here and only here."

Bojan Cvjetićanin Born in 1999. Frontman of currently the most in-demand young Slovenian band Joker Out which, with their shagadelic rock'n'roll, a genre they actually invented themselves, sold out Cvetličarna twice last week with their just-released album Umazane misli. Even off-stage, he's the 'joker' in a group, optimistic and talkative and an occasionally childishly playful young man. His lyrics (and music) are mature, sensitive and empathetic. The Ljubljana resident, otherwise a sociology student, has been making music for almost half of his life. Last but not least, a listener can quickly recognise that he actually grew up exactly where he feels the best: on stage.

Tired and sleep deprived, just a few days before the concert in Cvetličarna, which had been postponed (more than once) due to Covid-19 and which seemed like it would never happen, he had a nightmare. He dreamed "that there was one song that we just could not start and we tried again and again". He really had a lot of stage fright before the first concert this year. At the end of April and beginning of May, it still looked like there wouldn't be concerts in the summer, and then everything started to open up. They've never had as many concerts as this summer. "Those concerts hit us like a train, because we were neither mentally nor physically prepared for this many performances. We'd got used to rehearsing all day long and being completely self-sufficient. It was pretty hard before the first sold-out concert in Čin čin in Ljubljana, because the audience's expectations, as well as our own, were high. We performed with a new drummer for the first time, so the tension was even greater. When we stepped on stage, however, an enormous wave of energy that reflected from the audience washed over us, you could feel and see that people had been locked up at home, that they needed to relax, needed concerts."

"In these times, when the internet and media constantly bombard us with so much information, that defines us pretty strongly. So it seems like any kind of thinking for yourself, about anything, is already a dirty thought."

The epidemic was also a time when changes happened in the group, as during the creative process, they realised that not all members of the band have the same creative drive, so in the end, they switched their drummer. Since then, they have significantly changed the way they work. They have created, even if not completely intentionally, a spirit of band co-production, they've become more dependant on each other. They've realised that music demands that they help each other. It's also important that, when they start to grow wings from all the congratulations and praises, they pull each other back to solid ground. In interviews and articles, he is described as "the most recognisable voice of the new generation of Slovenian rock" or as "a rising star" and he feels honoured by those compliments, but in truth, those titles don't really tell him a lot. Hearing that from the people who listen to their music is what means the most to him. He says that it's not the sea of congratulations that caresses your ego, but rather certain moments and situations when you actually feel strong and in your own skin. "In the moment when the light shines on you on the stage, the feelings are indescribable, you feel like a god. That's the 'awesome' thing, not when someone tells you that you're a god." He adds that he thinks he's still the same Bojan he was years ago, when all those congratulations and titles didn't exist yet.

"The bassist Martin and I have been making music for almost half of our lives and I think that with time, we've managed to work through everything that happens during the evolution of a band. Our current success didn't come overnight, it is the result of a long period of work." The pivotal year for Joker Out was 2017, when it first started looking like this band could truly become 'something'. "From the start, you want it to be something more, but it's usually just a distant wish, like Cvetličarna used to be." Back then, however, after the single Omamljeno telo, all the positive response gave them the feeling that everything was being taken to a higher level. And there were several of those levels, they have jumped over many of them. "If I look at the situation objectively, it seems crazy to me that we sold out Cvetka (Cvetličarna, a.n.) twice with three singles." As he says, however, nothing that they do in the band is left up to chance. "Very early on, we put our heads together and had an in-depth discussion, first of all about our relationships with one another, and then about our duties, and we promised each other that we would never be afraid to tell each other what we wanted. When we determined our wishes, we turned them into goals, which we are now achieving." In his words, something that definitely contributes to their success is that they're surrounded by people who love what they do. "Now we work as a team, and if a team works well, it can't miss." In the future they want to release another album, and they're also drawn beyond the borders of Slovenia, to the Balkans.

As a band, they want to give people the things that drive them as artists - currently the prevailing theme in their lyrics is love, but also self-reflection and musings. These are very general, many songs talk about how young people sometimes feel constricted or lost and are looking for their place in the world. "We're currently not interested in politics and we don't plan to define ourselves politically one way or another, although our songs do feature some messages about society. We think that our job is to spread love and that people can, based also on our lyrics, come up with their own political opinion, without our imposition," he says.

And when I challenged him to use one of their songs to describe his current feeling before the concert (adrenaline, fear, uncertainty, expectations), he said that "there's a butterfly in my head that's just swimming through a weird universe. It feels like people around me are buzzing and not actually talking." Metulji ('Butterflies') is actually his favourite song. He wrote it at the same time as Omamljeno telo and it already meant a lot to him back then. He wanted to hear a recording of it, but today he says that he's happy that they recorded it later, because back then it wouldn't have been anything like it is today. "Now, the song is exactly as we imagined it back then, but didn't know how to embody it."

As the singer, Bojan Cvjetićanin is also the most recognisable and exposed member of the band. On the Slovenian scene, his role models are (were), among others, Tomi Meglič from Siddharta and Gregor Skočir, the singer of the band Big Foot Mama - "today I can already call them friends, they feel respect for us, as we do for them and for both bands. They come to our concerts, we hang out in private. Even though some people say that you shouldn't meet your idols, because then everything falls apart, now that I know Tomi and know who the person who made all that music is, I like listening to it even more." Among foreign frontmen, his favourite is Liam Gallagher, who became famous with the band Oasis. He was actually his inspiration for keeping his hands crossed behind his back while singing on stage. "I had a period of that 'Liam pose'... I didn't know what to do with my hands on stage, and when I put them behind my back once, it seemed like a good trick. Today, I grab the guitar more and more on stage, so I don't have an issue with what to do with my hands anymore. (smile)." What, then, are the key characteristics of a good frontman? "He has to be honest, genuine. There are many types of lead singers, Mick Jagger, for example, gives himself away completely, goes crazy and dances, while some others stand still constantly, but they both completely enchant you." He doesn't think about this too much, he simply exists on stage.

While some musicians, actors, or other performers are completely different, introverted, in their private lives and in the backstage, Bojan is generally very talkative and smiley. "Even as a little kid, as others have told me, I talked all the time, I wanted to socialise, with older people too, so it seems like I really never had issues with making connections. Now it's actually the same, there are just more people in front of the stage." At Poljane High School, which, as he has stressed many times, shaped him a lot as a person, he performed in a theatre group, so he already experienced the stage in the role of an actor, later he was on TV in the role of a host. These days, he still often says, half-laughing, that - if music won't be what he earns a living with - he'd like to be a sociology professor at Poljane. "But I heard they just got a new one, so I don't know how realistic the chances are."

But for now, he doesn't have to do anything other than make music. Bojan Cvjetićanin is also the author of the lyrics of most of the songs, in which, as he said, he's a kind of medium who conveys others' pain. While he did say not long ago that as a songwriter, he sometimes lacks unhappy emotions and that he doesn't know the pain of a broken heart, it's different now. "I got my dose of inspiration for quite some time..." He says that when making songs, it's almost always the music that comes first, and then the lyrics. "Most often, I take the guitar, lately I also sit at the piano, and I try to find the chords that sound interesting to me in that moment, and then I also sing along. Usually, associations form in my head and it feels like it suddenly becomes clear to me what the lyrics will be, sometimes I "accidentally" sing some lines that end up staying in the song and define what I will talk about." The lyrics are mostly, as mentioned, about love and self-reflection, but there are also a few slightly different ones among them. Aleppo, the duet with Omar Naber, who has been by his side from the beginning and helped him record demos, was created differently. The song, which talks about the city Aleppo in Syria, which is ravaged by war, was created when, in a TV report about what was happening there, he saw a young girl that inspired him. Then, he immediately started writing.

As someone who is sensitive to feeling other people's pain, does he ever fear that he could lose this empathy in the rather apathetic world we live in? "Just last year, there was a moment when I thought that I was completely alienated from myself, and I felt like I was never going to fall in love again. For a while, nothing excited me, I thought I had gone numb, but then something suddenly changed, I just waited for that natural 'click'." When songs become evergreen, hits that everyone sings and that connect generations, is it also important how much empathy the lyricists have?

"Absolutely. You have to have enough empathy to be honest with yourself. If you're honest, some people will connect very strongly with your lyrics. Nowadays, so many songs in the musical world are written just to be written. Not because they carry a real story within. And you can really feel that. It's that easy."

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

[etinceelle]

𝚁𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙶𝚛𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝚊𝚞𝚟𝚎'𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜

I don't think I ever described Gris and Fauve's personalities here, so I thought I could talk about it for a bit ! I'll start with Gris below :]

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𝙶𝚁𝙸𝚂

Gris' a very friendly and warm person, and she genuinely loves to be around people and to help. She's generous and ready to do as much as she can to be there for others. But she tends to push herself a lot because she feel like she can only matter to people by being useful. As she doesn't have any Spark and special magic like others, and as she's seen as a bad luck charm and rejected, she goes out of her way to do what she can but she's often pushed on the side or on tiny tasks because she can't do as much as others and is vulnerable.

This complex follows her in her whole life so she tends to "mask" that problem by being there, even if she truly only wants to be accepted as she is, and to understand why she's the only one without that Spark. This created a sensitive side inside of her, she wants to understand. She loves to explore but she tends to take risks to "prove" herself. She wants to be as capable as others. People consider her weak and she tends to believe it too. What she doesn't know is that she's VERY far from being "weak" 👁️

Gris' tribe (who lives on the island of Chah) believe that Sparks originate from stars, so they study astronomy a lot. Sagel is Chah's leader and Gris' mentor, and he's an astrophycisist. She borrows his books and also goes a lot to the library to study.

Gris takes the train often to go see her best and closest friend Sahel who lives on another island of the North. Sahel works at a forge and they love to hang out together and go drink and talk.

Train is the main transportation in the North islands. Also Gris works as a waitress at a restaurant/café who accepted her in Chah, but she doesn't really fit in this job either as she's more a discreet person. She has a lot of personality but likes to stay in her little corner most of the time. But as long as she can live peacefully and be useful to her tribe that's what matters the most to her.

She also can be pretty grumpy and impulsive. With her complex she also developed a deep anger for being different, and she tends to struggle in stressful situations. Gris loves to collect plants and tiny trinkets wherever she goes, she travels a lot and you can find her explore nearby islands alone even if that means she can be in danger and vulnerable to the Corruption.

She feels weak but is actually pretty fierce and strong when she face other people or creatures, for what she thinks is right. She can be stubborn but she'll always be joyful and curious.

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𝙵𝙰𝚄𝚅𝙴

Fauve is the embodiment of what I like to call a "gentle giant", she's REALLY strong but she's mostly KIND. Fauve is the incarnation of kindness and loyalty and will always do what she thinks is right for others and herself.

She can be pretty impressive or scary at first because she looks and feels powerful, especially since she's an Oruh and a powerful one. But despite all of this strength she hates to hurt people or other creatures, and if she does it unvoluntarily she'll cry and feel so guilty. She's the kind of person to be able to punch, destroy, bite, roar and scratch whatever or whoever is putting her tribe and herself in danger, but only because she HAS to. She'd rather not have to fight at all, or only in the friendly tournaments of her Oruh tribe.

Fauve has a lot of energy, she can be pretty stubborn too but also very clumsy. She's strong and fierce while fighting because she's very good at it, but outside of that she's like a complete different, innocent and even a bit naive creature.

Fauve is used to live in harsh conditions due to her Oruh life, traditions and environment. She fights a lot and isn't scared at all, she's actually really brave. She can defends herself but what matters to her is to protect others so she tends to take hits for them. Fauve's daily life is very busy, between her tribe and her role in it, her BIG family (both of her parents died when she was young, so she was raised by several members of her tribe and is used to have friends who are like her family).

Fauve's best friend with another girl named Kanaah, an Oruh as well, and they're really known together in the tribe as the trouble makers (mostly because of Kanaah's fault oops). Fauve always feels scared and guilty but also always ends up following Kanaah's chaotic plans.

Kanaah's not a bad person but they both enjoy to do some naughtiness. xD Fauve's life always has been pretty simple and she enjoys the most basic things, such as a meal, time with friends, sleeping outside in the grass...

She's not complicated and that can sometime be hard for someone who's not to it to follow her. She's rarely cold due to her Spark (thermal amp). She has no problem in warm environments, but she struggles more with very cold temperatures.

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𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙳𝚈𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙲

As people as well aware now, Gris and Fauve end up together at some point >:] I'm not gonna describe the whole "how did they met" stuff because I'm still building stuff. But I still can talk about how they interact together

Without much surprise, Fauve tends to protect Gris a lot, while knowing how to leave her space and manage to do things alone. She's very worried about her being vulnerable so that's something they can struggle with at the beginning of their bond, but they learn how to trust each other on that aspect. Because even if Gris doesn't have a Spark, she can fight just like anyone else (because everyone learn to fight in this world, otherwise you can't survive). Fauve learns to trust Gris with that and to not overwhelm her or make her feel like she's weak.

Gris is very impressed and even scared of Fauve at first, not only because of her Oruh powers and form but because she has very strong vibes and look. But as they learn to know each other she realizes she's really not scary at all, and that's pretty much the opposite.

As they balance with their personalities and their problems, Fauve is here to support Gris in moments of weakness, and Gris is also here to support Fauve on her own struggles (which I did not describe because plot building lol) What is certain is that between them there's a biiiiig slowburn and they love each other a lot yey ♥

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𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽

Because why not, I have ideas for that too-

To be short : most of the time, Fauve top/Gris bottom LMAO

But that's more than that obviously, Fauve gives a lot but in these moments they just enjoy to share with each other a lot. I imagine them as both demisexual, which means they never felt attracted sexually to anyone they didn't love. So these moments are really special and exclusive to them.

(Also, top/bottom is a very quick description but they can do both depending of the moment aha)

Fauve tends to have a bigger libido than Gris but they pretty much have a good balance on that aspect. They also enjoy sensual and intimate moments without having it to go that far.

Taking naps together, drinking/eating, cuddling, watching movies, travelling, they really love all of that but, the s3xual part is something they enjoy a lot in a very irregular pace and depending on the mood. It can be every 6 months, or later every week, it really depends

Anyway I ended up RAMBLING about them and my story so hard but I enjoyed it a lot- Happy of its development and characters in any case ♥

[notdiabolika]

What do you think would happen if yui suddenly shrank ? Like if she got cursed by the potion that shrinks her what do you think would happen?

What if Yui became VERY small? 🌸

[Português]

A man's voice resounds through the empty church: "Confess your sins." Bare feet walk on the icy ground, It’s covered in shattered stained glass windows A strange painless path, To the silver bottle on the altar. "Drink me," the note reads.

The flavor is strange, But as soon as the last drop touches her lips The maiden opens her eyelids And finds darkness again ——

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"This... Is a dream, isn't it?"

So confused, she slides her hands through the covered fort, discovering that she almost drowned in it as she emerges. It's tiny. Getting out of bed would be an arduous task of ziplining through the sheets, so she sat on her pillow until someone came to see her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened... I just had a weird nightmare and... I woke up like this."

She tells the Sakamakis everything she has seen in an exasperated tone. It's only a matter of time before everyone else finds out what happened.

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"What? Don't tell me you became small because of a dream..."

He lets out (at least) a nasal laugh when he hears this story while finding it scary. Whoever is behind this is quite powerful, and childish too.

"I think that is what you get for hanging out with vampires like us... You know, it is more comfortable to hear your voice like that, quieter."

Despite his comments, he strives to keep her safe. After all, if something happened, "the responsibility would fall on my shoulders.”

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“... Do you seriously drink from an unlabeled bottle and expect to have no side effects? What nonsense."

He is disappointed and even angry with the situation, believing it would be easy to avoid. 

"Luckily for you, potions rarely have lifetime durability, so I believe the effects are not permanent. Anyway, I'll seek an antidote."

Having access to several books and archives, he does intense research work to make her body return to its original size as soon as possible.

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"Pancake, you're the size of a cockroach..."

Will he bully her? Of course, because "it's your fault for being so careless". But the truth behind his dry banter is that he's stressed, thinking about how he will keep something so small safe.

"How do you expect Yours Truly to drink your blood like this? What a pain... You better get back to normal soon!"

Ayato will fight for mini Yui's attention anyway, he doesn't want her fleeing to any other guy at a time like this.

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"How DARE you do this to us?! What will happen if Teddy needs sewing? Uu... you're so selfish..."

First, he cries, because the sweets she bakes, the tea parties, and all the other plans she made for the two are ruined.

"You know... I might as well crush you with the sole of my shoe. But I will have mercy... if you fit my dolls' dresses, of course."

He starts treating her and playing as if Yui were a real doll, and if she cooperates, he may become more lenient. Or not.

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"Aww... little bitch looks so adorable... It seems like you will need our help for a long, long time."

He finds the situation funny instead of complaining and teases her a lot for having fallen into such a trap.

"What's it like to watch me be so much bigger than you? Does this size difference make you excited? Fufu... It's a shame there's nothing we can do like this."

A fraction of him is satisfied by caring for Yui, stroking her head, and helping her get around, even if it's problematic. Maybe he would even feel a little vulnerable and sensitive for that reason.

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“... What the fuck? How did this happen?"

No one is more confused than him. Now Subaru has to ensure his brothers don't hurt such a delicate version of Yui.

"Give her some space! She can't breathe with all of you taking her oxygen and talking like a bunch of parrots. It's even hurting my ears."

Definitely takes the prize for being the most stressed out in this situation, can't wait for Reiji to find an antidote because he can't take this anymore and it’s only been five minutes.

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Choosing Sakamakis to answer that request was definitely a big mistake XD

The monologue at the beginning had a slight reference to the plot of Lunatic Parade, so consider this mess a whole work by Count Walter. How small Yui actually got is debateable, and I wouldn't take the boy's words at face value.

I would like to thank the anonymous person who sent me such an exotic idea, it was fun to explore and think about how they would react.

Have a nice day ✨

[antianakin]

Forgive the silly premise but I saw a meme video that inspired this question, feel free to ignore. The meme was Anakin and Palpatine in that "Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise?" scene but Anakin answers; "Oh yeah that's the story of the the Sith Lord whose apprentice cowardly killed him in his sleep. It was a real eye-opener for me, it taught me that you should never, under no circumstance whatsoever, trust a Sith."

With that ridiculous background out of the way my question is what do you think Anakin would do if he came to the conclusion that he absolutely couldn't trust Palpatine to save Padme or help him learn something that could? What do you think he'd do in that kind of situation?

I mean, my first instinct is to say it doesn't matter. Anakin is already someone who believes he cannot, under any circumstances, trust a Sith. He fully belives the Sith are "evil" and his initial response to finding out Palpatine is a Sith IS not to trust him, to turn him in to the Jedi and let justice have its way with him. But the more he thinks about it, the more Palpatine's words slither into his soul and cause him to realize that what Palpatine is offering him is worth more than the possible consequences of leaving Palpatine alive. He'd rather have Padme and doom the Jedi and the Republic than the other way around. He also is explicitly planning to kill Palpatine himself, he says as much to Padme, he's just waiting until he can guarantee Padme will survive past childbirth or whatever. So even when he chooses to save Palpatine, he ultimately doesn't REALLY trust him that much because he KNOWS Palpatine is inherently untrustworthy. The possibility of saving Padme is worth working with someone he doesn't trust. He doesn't see any other options.

But just for the sake of argument, let's say something caused Anakin to decide Palpatine couldn't help him save Padme AT ALL, that Palpatine is lying to him or something and doesn't truly know shit all of some kind of secret power to keep people from dying. There's really no reason to believe he does, so Anakin has no reason to bother keeping him alive.

My assumption in that kind of scenario is that he'd just stick with the Jedi for the time being, he'd let them kill Palpatine or kill Palpatine himself, but then he'd probably fuck off on his own to go look for some kind of cure. I don't think Palpatine's death would keep him from obsessing over saving Padme, it would just force him to run off and look for alternatives. So he'd run, he'd abandon everyone and everything in search of some kind of miracle power or cure to keep people from dying and in the process he'd still probably lose himself to the darkness and to the desire for power for power's sake alone and he'd either remember to come back too late (after Padme had already given birth) or he'd just never come back at all because the thing that motivated him originally has lost all meaning in the quest for more and more power.

Padme would have the twins, Anakin would be gone, and what happens there is probably up to you and what you think Padme would actually choose to do with two powerful Force-sensitive twins. Maybe she refuses to give them up to the Jedi and raises them on Naboo as best she can. Maybe she DOES give them up to the Jedi because Anakin left her and the twins are now a constant reminder of that loss and the pain she associates with him and she can't stand to look at them most of the time. Maybe Padme dies in childbirth anyway and the Jedi take the children with them afterwards because she gives them away in her last breaths or something. Take your pick, I guess.

[toluene-sister]

Hi :),

how would you describe the Joker and Bruce in your stories? I know they are both based on Ledger's and Bale's portrayal but you added some new quirks. Also how did you come up with these? Do you have tips for new writers?

Hey there! This is gonna be a long one, because I have no idea how to answer this in a succinct manner, so please bear with me here ><

Let's start with Joker--the way I see him, he is extremely organized and likes to be ready for just about anything, to the point of being ridiculous about it. He's always trying to think several steps ahead, even in the most mundane situations. That's not something you develop overnight, it's a trait that could stem from having very little sense of security in your early life and feeling you can only ever depend on yourself. In the original script, he says to Bruce "Can't rely on anyone these days. Have to do everything yourself. I always have- and it's not always easy…" which didn't make it into the final version of the scene, but I think it's such a telling line!

There's also another line that didn't make it into the final cut that I like very much. When J calls Engel to say he wants Reese dead, he was originally written to be impersonating an old lady, only to reveal himself at the end of the call. This is the fragment of the original script:

ENGEL Who is this? OLD LADY Just a concerned citizen- (drops pitch to the JOKER'S VOICE) -and regular guy…

It's another little tidbit that shows he was probably just some guy who was severely let down by the system, hence why he's targeting all of the organized structures of the city, not differentiating between the mob or the law--it's all establishment in his mind. It might also be the reason why he likes to hide in plain sight, considering himself just a regular citizen.

I think he's also extremely empathetic, which allows him to read people and play them like a fiddle (as being empathetic does not equal being sympathetic lmao). Like, I headcanon him to have some sort of Anna Breytenbach level of superhuman empathy that allowed him to get fucking attack dogs to follow his command within hours of stealing them from the Chechen lol--this is normally something that requires a lot of training and trust-building, definitely not something you achieve in a few hours (if you don't know who Breytenbach is, I highly recommend googling her, very interesting stuff). I also HC him to be very sensitive, to the point of being easily and painfully overstimulated. I really, truly believe the entirety of all the shit he pulled in TDK was just a big stimming session for him XD

Now let's do Bruce. He's the kind of guy who dropped everything and fucked off to some third-world country as a stowaway to train and gain some insights, and he kept at it for seven years. That's a really, really long time. And the level to which he committed to it all, surviving in a foreign country with zero resources, becoming a gang leader, going to prison, then training with the League of Shadows--all of it demanded tremendous mental fortitude. It's one of the reasons why I like the Nolanverse Bruce so much--he's not emotionally constipated, I mean he is dark and obviously very haunted, but he's not blocking anything, he knows himself extremely well, I mean he has to in order to pull off everything he does in the movies. He knows exactly who he is and what he's capable of, which means, psychologically speaking, he must have spent a lot of time integrating his shadow with great success (which is mainly what I believe his training with the LoS and facing his fears was all about). That's why when he's experiencing severe trauma and loss (Rachel's death), he is able to sort of skip all the stages of grief, go straight to acceptance and keep going, in spite of all the pain and doubt.

With that in mind, I would put self-knowledge as Bruce's main character trait. It's how he came to terms with his feelings for Joker and accepted them, even though it wasn't an easy process for obvious reasons. It caused him severe mental anguish and gave him insomnia, but he didn't flinch away from those feelings at any point.

I also think he's got insane survivor's guilt, which is the aftermath of his parents' death and drives him to sacrifice himself and carry the weight of the world's sins on his shoulders (taking the fall for Dent is one example). It's part of the reason why he can't seem to put any blame on Joker for the crimes he's committed, instead he just blames himself for not stopping him.

And lastly, there's the traumatized child at the very core of his being, and I believe there is absolutely nothing he could ever do to truly heal that part of his psyche, he can only try and comfort it. That's why he enjoys acting submissive towards Joker--deep down, he just wants to be taken care of.

As far as writing tips go, I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask, as I don't really consider myself much of a writer--LISMBWYD and Dissolve & Absolve are the only things I have ever written in my entire life. I suppose the main piece of advice I can give is to simply try to know what you're writing about, and I don't mean doing research--just keep asking yourself, what is this scene really about, what am I trying to convey here, does this serve any purpose, what would a living, breathing person with this set of characteristics actually feel or do in this situation? I think if you stop and think about what you really, really want to write and then spend some time visualizing how the scene would go down in the real world, then the writing itself will come fairly easily. And most importantly, have fun with it! Your writing will be all the better for it if you simply enjoy the process <3

Again, apologies for the length of this but I could write entire essays about these two lol, so it goes without saying that if you'd like me to elaborate on any of the above, please feel free to message me~!

[asherlockstudy]

Hey! I am fascinated by your randl theories and i find your analyses quite creative and inspiring to read. But do you really think them having a romantic/sexual relationship is all that plausible? i have a hard time believing that if that were the case, assuming that they wanted to keep it secret until very recently, they would put themselves through the psychological, mythomaniac ordeal of talking so much about their personal lives on ear biscuits, (1)

Hello! Thank you for your kind words 🩷 You make many valid points and ask me to discuss a lot of things but I will try my best. Obviously I am discussing my personal understanding of the situation here - it doesn't mean that it's certainly the case. But I believe it. And if someone gets mad at me, well, sorry (not really)? I believe it. No point in pretending.

Regarding the first two parts of your ask; Do I think them really having a relationship is plausible? Yes. Completely. More rather than not. I see your points and what confuses you about the way this means they handle the situation and basically torture themselves in the process by creating a chaotic mayhem of lies, deception, pretense and steps back and forth. Here’s the thing - although there is a big plan, their approach is not all that well conceived and realised as you would expect. Rhett and Link do not seem to be totally on the same page regarding how they ideally wished to deal with this, which creates miscommunication between them and consequently inconsistency in what we receive from them as viewers. Still, I wouldn't question their homophrosyne one bit when it comes to the mythos they have built around themselves. Don't forget that they hid for ages their religious and Campus Crusade past and only talked about it 4 years ago for the first time. Before that, only those few following them since their NC days knew about it. They have also started coming clean about other stuff in the meantime like their origin story and how close they truly were during some elementary and middle school years. Those of course pale in comparison to what is at stake now, however it gives you an understanding of the slow process with which they try in sync to reveal the truth - most of it, eventually. But it also makes evident that all those years prior to this, they were very skilled at saying vulnerable stuff without ever disclosing the most sensitive parts. This is not all that hard for them because they typically hide from the viewers the stuff they also hide from their close people. All that they say in Ear Biscuits about their lives are not lies, they just withhold large chunks of truth. Did anyone ever even suspect Lily was going to undergo a very risky surgery before Link revealed it much later after its success? No. Link likes to be an open book but both he and Rhett are good at controlling and regulating what the other says, when they sense some derailment coming. And even Link can shut it when he really wants. Most of the time, if he lets something slip is because he does not care if it slips. Or perhaps he secretly kinda wants it to slip. On the other hand, even though Rhett has much more restrain, he also has the most genuine accidents because in his case most of them are real accidents.

What is their current relationship and how it evolved, how it works with other people?

(Under the cut in hopes we will avoid any potential stroke out there)

IMO they are currently in a full blown relationship which is known only to certain people and a few others have figured it out on their own. I will give you a timeline I believe to be probable. My reasoning is in short based on watching non-stop since 2016;

As they go to California and start GMM, they get closer again (they had grown a little more distant for their standards during early years of marriage and working, they have said this) and spend a lot of time everyday together and in close proximity, all while they start questioning religion more seriously as they flee the shadow of their close people's influence in NC. They are very stunted and uncomfortable and have knee jerk reactions everytime there's a moment between them but the tension is there and is palpable. After the newsical kiss in late 2013, Link finally decides to abandon religion fully and pursue Rhett by pretending he needs something casual because he's curious. In truth he always wanted something serious from the get-go but he pretends because he knows Rhett is into sex so much and by the tension between them he calculates Rhett will have trouble refusing. Rhett falls for it (it's just more sex to help a confused friend, right? Win - win - peak clowning by Rhett there) and they attempt to start a "friends with benefits" situationship. It doesn't work out all that well sexually in the beginning (awkwardness, inhibitions, maybe solidified ideas of what it means to be a dominant male and what to be submissive that they have trouble getting rid of and how this will inform their general dynamics etc), however that new situation despite all its issues rejuvenates and warms them up to each other, you can see it in all the buzzing cuteness of 2014-2015. By late 2015, they have gotten the hang of this and they also reach some mutual understanding that this is more serious than they thought, however it should remain a secret arrangement.

After they get more and more sexually compatible (Rhett learns to be more attentive and Link less vanilla), they figure out how to maintain their relationship in secret and they also make some drastic yet positive changes in their appearance (mostly Link), they then enter their sex crazed phase, which is around 2016-2018 for Rhett and 2017-2019 for Link, and is evident even in GMM. However, in the middle of this period, Rhett gets scared that they are spiralling out of control and puts a halt to their affair for the "greater good", meaning their families and their career. Although he doesn't want this, Link agrees to it and tries harder to stay away from Rhett because he also suffers from a lot of guilt while Rhett has more trouble succeeding in this despite being the one who came up with this decision. They come up with a series of very weird rules in order to stay away from each other but they often fail all the same. At some point in 2018 - early 2019, Rhett stops trying and returns fully to his affair with Link and perhaps also makes a transformative arrangement in his marriage (maybe opening it up). This on-and-off secretive guilt ridden situation going for years however (which also affects their friendship) wears Link out. Link at times tries to push Rhett sexually to his limits, because he knows this is the key to make him obsessed with him and at other times comes clean about his feelings and warns Rhett that if this keeps going like this, he will have to end all of it for good once and for all. Kinda a carrot and stick approach. Initially, Rhett tried to ignore Link's complaints and warnings, neither did he open up about how he felt despite Link’s pleas but instead preferred to unload his burden in creative projects (i.e TLCOBC and the October sketches way in the beginning). At some point he gets the wake up call, he finally talks to Link and they agree to begin the process of coming out and being properly together. Rhett does not truly want this but he's afraid of losing Link and also destroying their careers for good. The plan about a very gradual coming out is Rhett's idea - he agrees to it for Link’s sake but he asks to be the one in control to try to minimize the consequences and Link complies to this so that he won’t lose him. They release TLCOBC in late 2019, they return to the hometown for a series of videos, they release the Lost Years and the first spiritual deconstructions in early 2020. They buy the Creative House at the same time. Covid stops them right in their tracks, right at the moment they were getting enthusiastic momentum. Link withdraws to his family, full of guilt, to help Christy who is very affected by the pandemic, while Rhett realises all the more that he needs Link and climbs the walls in his absence.

In 2021 they set their plan in motion and release Hazel as the first of a series of videos that would eventually lead where we know and that were inspired by the October sketches and Buddy System, but this time they were supposed to have darker undertones just like their truth does and like TLCOBC. Hazel (which is a great project materielized strangely in tik tok shorts) flops big time and breaks their heart, especially Rhett's. They lose faith in the plan while they also start the GME project, which attempts to train viewers into seeing them in questionable situations. In 2022, there is maybe a backpedalling and second thoughts (mostly from Rhett) and they are at a loss of what to do next. Link's patience has grown very thin which causes strain between them sometimes. Link doubts Rhett’s earnestness to this day and he also doubts Rhett can give up on his wife or women in general. By late 2022, they decide to keep going with the videos, even if they don't get the reception they hope for. In 2023 they resume their effort which indeed doesn't have the results they hoped for but this time they push through. By late 2023, they decide making one video every once in a while does not help the viewers pick up on the clues and decide to wait and make a full project like a series that will connect all the dots (and I assume "be the final step") and for which they know they will be losing rather than gaining money. By things they have said, I believe they have set a deadline of coming out by late 2024 right after the series or right at the beginning of 2025. In the meantime, they plan the live GMM tour for the summer and I think there is some intention there as well. We'll see.

What do wives / families know? That's the toughest part. I now think Jessie knows more than Christy because I doubt Christy would take this so stoically. But perhaps they have reached an agreement with their wives to go on exactly like nothing happens especially in front of the relatives and friends until the last moment. Or they truly don’t know. The kids probably don't know much, maybe Lily does. The parents might have taken a hint, especially Link's, but Rhett's are also naturally suspicious and maybe have picked up on it as well. Or he talked to them. Some friends and coworkers know as they have to be in it for the plan. But who knows and who doesn’t is really the most perplexing part in this whole ordeal.

Why do they try to come out with cryptic messages? Their plan was to start really cryptic and progressively become bolder and bolder as they would get encouraging cues by the viewers, except they are not getting such cues at all. This causes them frustration towards us which they have openly expressed. The reason they have chosen the slowest, most torturous approach in the history of coming outs is because they are very aware of all that is at stake. Their families, their careers, their fortunes, the wellbeing of the about 100 employees working in Mythical. They can't just show up one day and be like "Sike! We've been a couple for ages haha". They will get canceled and demonized, they will be crucified by Christians and by fans thinking highly of them as role models and good family men and loving husbands. And some will simply turn their backs on them because they will feel so betrayed. It's going to be a considerable scandal in youtube and American celebrity circles, you know, even with the slow approach. Imagine if they did it abruptly. The shock and uproar. They try to condition the viewers to accept it, to expect it as much as possible. And another reason is that, to put it simply, they are very scared. They still have knee-jerk reactions, these are engraved into their subconscious. It feels safer to them to think they make baby steps towards their goal. Rhett especially is very afraid (he might get rejected and disowned by his family) but even Link hesitates too. And some part of it is the celebrity exhibitionism you said. I think Rhett and Link are consumed by their own love story, they think it makes for a great dramatic story, Rhett searches higher meaning in it. I believe they earnestly think highly of it and to be honest it is not at all a conventional love story, is it? I don’t blame them for this, if this is the case. But I believe the ultimate reason is fear and postponing the dreadful day.

[sweet--sweet--muffin]

Ben 10 Aliens As Their Own Characters (Original Series)

This has been on my mind for a looooong, long time and I finally decided to share this here.

I’ve seen some cool concepts for the “Ben’s Omnitrix glitched out and caused the aliens to have their own sentience” AU (like @thisunknowngenius’ take on the AU for example, as well as @justmenoworries​‘ glorious @omniglitch-au​) and I thought of sharing my own take for this.

Gonna call this AU of mine Ben 10 Alienated.

Let’s start with the Original 10 here because I have no idea where to start with the others lmao.

Wildmutt - Considered as the family pet, he’s just like any other normal man’s best friend. He always strive to be close with his family (especially Ben) to show how much he loves them.

Four Arms - an extremely violent, short-tempered, and very brash berserk who tends to be quite unkind to others around him, especially towards the people who dare hurt his loved ones. He seems to think that punching things, including people, is the best way to solve problems and his hot head can sometimes get him into trouble.

Grey Matter - tends to be boorish, and sarcastic with a dry sense of humor. He usually has a stoic frown, though he does smile from time to time. Grey Matter is very honest and blunt about what is on his mind. His brutal honesty isn't so much out of a sense of morality, but because he doesn't want to waste brain space by making up a lie. Regardless, he’s willing to help his family with any problem that only relates to knowledge and tutoring.

XLR8 - an energetic and upbeat Kineceleran who loves to do all sorts of bizarre things and dislikes "dull" things, like reading and studying. He’s a menace in the pranking field, but thankfully, his pranks are all relatively harmless. XLR8′s also a good sport and loves doing some competitions with his siblings. Well, unless you’re cheating then you’re really asking for a pie in the face.

Upgrade - literally the nicest alien you’ll ever meet. Upgrade possesses emotions and acts more like a human than a normal Mechamorph. He’s a bit shy but is generally a very kind-hearted individual who speaks in a polite manner and is sensitive to others' feelings. Despite his typically shy behavior, Upgrade occasionally demonstrates more assertiveness, confidence and can stand up for himself without resorting to anger (Heatblast joked that Four Arms should take notes about this). He’s pretty much seen with Grey Matter in most cases as he is more like an assistant of his.

Diamondhead - If someone were to look up “father figure”, then Diamondhead is sure to appear in those results. He is very responsible and talks formal. He rarely loses his nerve and can maintain clarity in any situation. He’s like the loving father figure of Ben, Gwen and the aliens and has a closer relationship towards Max due to sharing the responsibilities of being the parent figure of the fam.

Ripjaws - Not exactly the most intellectual member of the aliens, as Ripjaws is clueless, easily confused by complex words and misinterprets insults and figures of speech. He is also very gullible, often easily believing things people say and is surprised when others tell him that they're lying. In general, his mood can shift very quickly. He can bounce between bored, to happy, to angry, and to happy again. Despite his easygoing and aloof personality, Ripjaws is a good-natured and well-meaning alien.

Stinkfly - the very definition of “lazy” and a good-for-nothing couch potato of the family. He may be laid-back, but he’ll do anything to help the world in need and protect his family. Despite this, there’ll be times that he can be cynical towards others, even to the aliens and Tennysons.

Ghostfreak - he’s quite hard to approach given his quiet, deadpan and distant demeanor. But that’s because Ghostfreak is simply not good at expressing his emotions and would rather do so through his poems. It does help with giving him ideas on how to express his emotions more. Regardless, he has a heart of gold to the people he truly trusts; his one big family.

Heatblast - he’s a sporty athlete with a fiery personality and is always eager to challenge someone when he’s being challenged. Heatblast is one of the more mature aliens unless he ends up getting himself caught into the childish antics of his siblings (mainly XLR8).

[jujutsukgojo]

Magic Man

Summary: Who was once a failing magician, ended up finding the spark he needed in the worst way.

How Atsuhiro Sako became the villain called Mr. Compress.

A/N: Major character death, abuse of authority, origin story, unemployment, murder, violence.

If you are sensitive to these things, please avoid!

Once again, Atsuhiro walks off the stage in shame. This is the second time he was booed. A showman with tricks is always welcomed. At least it was until lately. He cannot figure out what went wrong! Is it the obviousness of his quirk? Making things magically appear can be tricky to figure out. Then again, in today's world, anything can be explained.     

No one believes in magic anymore. Especially with quirks running around. Sighing, he goes home and silently hopes he doesn’t see the lovely you, his dearest friend. He opens the door to his apartment and smells pancakes. That can only mean two things: you broke in and he is out of ingredients for everything else.     

Atsuhiro comes from behind you and wraps his arms around your middle. Humming in acknowledgement, you rub the top of his head. After asking how he is, your affectionate friend cannot say. It doesn’t take the smartest person to figure out what happened.     

“Don’t worry, magic man," A nickname you gave him years ago that stuck ever since. It fit him greatly since he became a magician and didn't just use it for a hobby. "Everything will be okay!” Your voice is reassuring as hell. It always is. Sometimes he wishes you were honest about your feelings about him.  

How long has he carried a torch for you? Do you feel the same? He is quite the loser, so no way could you be experiencing the butterflies that soar within him when he knows you’re there. He doesn't even need to see you for him to feel this way. Luckily, his ways of being affectionate towards you is welcomed. An excuse to hold you without it being too forward.   

It is embarrassing to hope that you’d give him the time of day.   

  “Out of stuff?” He asks without removing himself from your body. “Yes. But don’t worry,” There you go again. “I made pancakes! And there is honey, just how you like them.” Handing him a plate with a smile, you go back to flipping more for yourself.     

  Another thing about you: you serve him food first whenever you see him. Not just with food either. It's with everything. To him, it shows how much you are covering yourself. Your lack of honesty can be suffocating at times.  Be selfish, be honest! It's okay to complain to me.  

He sits down and doesn’t touch a thing. Atsuhiro waits for you as always. A few seconds later, you sit in front of him and cover your pancakes with the sweet gold. It was something you picked up from him over the years.     

  The two of you eat in silence for what feels like forever. There is something in the air, something unsaid that he is a little leery against. “Buddy, what do you think of me helping you out?”    

There it is.     

“I am getting a promotion and I want to help you.” He wants you to be honest, to be free from those chains of yours because you spare him. But why does this sting? Is it the embarrassment?

“No.”   

“Don’t be prideful. There isn’t anything wrong with a woman working.” There truly isn’t. This is not about that though. This is about his own pride and failure. You working extra to support him is leaving a bitterness in his chest. “I know there isn’t. It’s not about that.”    

“Then what?” You put your last bite in your mouth. Your eyes trail to the last pancake. Quickly you look away and try to start the conversation again. Of course, you save the last for him. Yes, you have your own place and food. However, you sitting here in front of him hungry creates a frustration like no other. Not at you, but the situation. It feels like salt rubbing into the wound. He knows you mean well. You always do.  

He feels like screaming. He takes the pancake and places it on your plate. “Eat.”    

“You’re still hungry-”    

“Eat it. I’m not hungry.”    

“It’ll be fine.” You grab his hand and squeeze it. "Besides, I don't even live here. You don't need to feed me." Looking up at him with such wonder reminds him of how you met. In his younger years he was performing tricks on the street. There were a few people in his audience but none of them held such a look. Complete awe of him, not towards his great-great grandfather. No, just him.   You clapped and cheered him on. Doing that was amazingly flattering.   

   He gets up from the table and puts the last bit of honey on your fluffy pancake. Atsuhiro cuts it up and puts a piece in your mouth. Then he says, “If you want to, then fine.”    

As much as it bothers him because of it feeling like a testament of his failure, he won’t let you go through this. If you are willing to work harder for his sake, then why should he make it harder for you by not helping? Soon, he will look for a proper job. When he does, you won't have to worry about him anymore.   

At night, when it is time for bed and for the moon to shine, you wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his back. His heart flutters in his chest. “I don’t regret you, never forget that.”    

He removes himself for a moment and gets on his knees so he can bury his face in your middle. “You’re my goddess. Forgive me for it all.” He hears a slight gasp. He has always been affectionate, so you have gotten quite used to it. Though the declaration is on another level of sweetness. Being viewed as a deity to a dear friend is a lot to think about.    

“Always.”    

He applies for job after job. No one is biting.     

Every time he is rejected, he remembers his grandfather telling him about his grandfather. How the great villain was capable of doing wonderous things, like Robin Hood. How the man was liberated and yet kind; loved and respected but fearsome.      

  He always looked up to his great-great grandfather. Their quirks are so similar too. What he didn’t like was how people thought of him. Since he is a little older, he lets their opinions go; whether good or bad.

One more time, he thinks. If one more job denies him, he has no reservations then. You'll understand. He won’t kill anyone, hopefully. Atsuhiro can’t imagine the face you would make if you discovered blood on his character. The knowledge of him murdering someone would devastate you. Crimes like murder could ruin the relationship.   

“Perhaps you shouldn’t know then...” He mutters.  

Thinking about his plan b has him remembering when he told you of his heritage. Only that he came from a villain and a family that supported the man’s rampage. You said you held nothing against him. In fact, what you had responded with is: 'How can you blame the child for the sins of his father?'  

Atsuhiro admired you for that. It made him feel good that you didn’t judge or compare him. How many times did people realize who he was related to and cursed him? It was always hero fans, too. Always, it is the hero society that scorns who they consider the lesser beings. Although he has never committed an illegal act, he has had a horrible experience with heroes.  

    Atsuhiro takes a deep breath. That ill feeling still lingers about that. It has been-what?- twenty years or so? 

Cracking his neck, he goes home after another turn down. Sucking his teeth, Atsuhiro is done.    

You don’t come over. Hunched over his table, he fixes a mask out of the material he had from a spare costume then paints it white with a basic design in black. Shoving his feet into his boots, he takes one last look in the mirror. It is his stage costume he always wears for shows.  An orangish button up with a vest, and a hat to top it off. Something fun that grabs the attention of the audience.  

Might as well wear it now. Leaving his house, he turns off the lights.     

His plan is simple. Just rob a couple of people! Nothing extreme or totally dangerous. Before he can walk up to an unsuspecting man, he sees where the mister’s line of sight was. A crime scene that was littered with heroes and officers. Not too long after does he recognize the place.     

Your job.     

Ripping off his mask, he runs to it. Atsuhiro grabs people to look at their face, hoping one is you. They complain about him as he quickly searches for you. The ambulance carries a couple of crying nobodies that tell of the horrific crime. A rogue hero lost his temper and crashed the place.     

Then, Atsuhiro sees you on the ground. Still behind the yellow tape, he pushes past people to get to you. No, no, it can't be you! Not now. Not here. Not like this. As soon as he touches the tape, a hero in blue grabs your shirt, easily lifting you off the ground. “Ain’t this a pretty pity?”   

Your neck cannot support your head. It dangles and your eyes meet his hazel ones. You don’t blink or move.   

“I love you.” Is what you mouth. Atsuhiro screams that you’re still alive. The hero carrying you so disrespectfully, whips around. Whether it was unintentional or not, that action caused you to hit your head on debris, letting out a sickening crunch.    

“Oh shit.”    

“It’s whatever. This cannot go out to the public anyway.” An official says next to him. The hero looks down with a sad face. The man in blue tights lifts you up higher and carries you bridal style. As if that is supposed to help anyone.   

That is how you were taken from him. By heroes that didn’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. But you, oh you...are something totally different. Patient, kind, the love of his life. His greatest friend. And he never got to tell you he loved you. That you were the reason for his every breath. He lived just for the sight of you. Messy or clean, clumsy or graceful, it never mattered. Dolled up or not, you were a goddess for mankind. It was an honor to have been so close to you.    

You're dead, aren't you?   

And you loved him too.   

Later, your family collected your remains. He attended the service and left without a word.    

Weeks, later did he find his laugh. Atsuhiro stood on several stages and performed without a boo from the crowd. This wasn't what he wanted. No, he wanted another form of audience. One that causes him to itch and claw his chest. A scream in his throat that he can't place.

Before he struggled with performing. Could your death have been the cause for this extra flair? The confidence and commanding presence of his is new. He was never shy but he wasn't bold.  

Now, his work has changed. And he hates it.  

On the news, your death was not covered. The incident went without acknowledgement. The temperamental hero was not dealt with publicly or at all. Your family never got closure for your death. No one has. However, Atsuhiro got information in immoral ways covered in blood. The hero that killed you shared an agency with the other. Apparently, both are on sabbatical. Fortunately, it was nothing for him to find both of them.    

Knot and Fury, are their names. Completely tacky. Fury stands by his name as he is easy to set off while Knot had a squeaky-clean record. Atsuhiro doesn’t believe that for a second. The way Knot handled you said it all.    

First, Atsuhiro wants to deal with them, then the agency. How irresponsible could they have been? Do heroes not check up on themselves? Letting bastards like them run the streets is insane.    

He stalks the one that was in blue, Knot. The one that killed you. Don’t misunderstand, it is possible that you were a dead person anyway; that isn’t the issue. The issue is that he did kill you. This so called hero grabbed you without a care, didn’t even attempt to save you, killed you, and of course, instead of helping you the gross bastard commented on your looks.    

Pretty pity. Knot had said that to you. Who does that?!   

Atsuhiro watches him enter Fury’s obnoxious looking house. So, Atsuhiro waits for them to have a sense of security. Why not? Surely that is how you felt when you saw them. Believed you were safe until terror struck.    

Finally, a few hours later, he enters the unlocked house to deal with them. Lounging around with beer, the two say nothing. Knot has his head down, almost like he is ashamed. But Atsuhiro does not believe him. Fury is frowning and tapping his finger on the couch.    

Fearlessly, Atsuhiro comes before them with his mask on.    

“We know why.” And he did it. Painfully, slowly, and happily.    

The same day, he had arrived at the agency with a lighter load on his shoulders and a pep in his step. Knowing that he done a public service is a nice feeling. Vengeance for your poor soul was almost complete.  

Should the agency suffer from their sins? Maybe not. Then again, they knew of the duo's crooked ways. They knew of your murder and yet they let them go. Where was your justice? Or everyone else's that were present at the time? Why is there so much corruption?  

With an exaggerated panache, he appears before the majority of the agency. Releasing marbles of various objects, people scream. He laughs and smiles at the chaos. This is a performance of a lifetime. One question pops up and only once: his name.     

“Dearie, I'm Mr. Compress.”   

It is a fitting name for a magic man like himself.

[caniculture]

Just going to ramble a bit because, if my friend is to be believed, what else is Tumblr for.

People who don’t know shit about proper dog husbandry and have never been to a show or had their hands on a dog need to shut up about proper ethics. If you don’t understand why a dog looks and is structured and acts the way it does then you shouldn’t have a say in it. People who cannot spell Brachycephalic and don’t know the actual history of Brachycephalic Breeds and the specific, likely now extinct, breeds that went into developing them shouldn’t have a say in the breeding, legality, or husbandry of them. The Dog Fancy hobby is dying and with the death of it comes the death and extinction of wellbred, well-structured dogs as a whole, mixed breed or not.

And, it is not just the actions of ARAs and the manipulated, unaware public that are leading to the death of the hobby. As someone new to the hobby that’s overly passionate about dogs, I have been talked down to by people in the hobby every step that I have taken further into the hobby, I will only put one of these examples here. I was originally interested in Beauceron and when I looked into the breed and talked to some people in the breed that were rude and put me off a little, but, I didn’t want to give up, the breed seemed to be everything I wanted; a driven, smart breed that excels at many many sports and has the desire to try anything with their owner at least once, and then I learned about the biggest source of drama in the breed, a well-known breeder knowingly selling a puppy to a zoophile and all the people supporting and shielding her from criticism. When I wanted to talk about it to find breeders who aren’t associated with her I was met with harassment and was told that it was “no big deal” and other statements undermining the situation. That was when I gave up on the breed.

I’m sure there are many good people and good breeders of Beauceron, but, as a sensitive and autistic 18 year old just looking to dip his toes into showing and sports at the time, I couldn’t handle that part of the community.

Then I talked to a delightful person who has and breeds Cardigan Welsh Corgis who pointed me towards Manchesters and told me to keep an open mind to breeds until I find the ones that click. They said that they had started with Manchesters and that Manchester people were very welcoming. This is true, every Manchester person I have spoken with, both in person and online, has been delightful. However, the Manchesters I had met, despite being wonderful dogs and the breed as a whole just being wonderful, didn’t quite click with me. The breeders and exhibitors and owners of Manchesters that I had met are the only reason that I had the courage to try again in the community and hobby as a whole.

Then, I joined many dog groups and talked to more people, reached out to some people about Japanese Akitainu, a breed I had adored since childhood, and they had been nothing but welcoming and encouraging. They helped me figure out what breeds would fit me best and connected me to some people to talk with and hopefully meet in person at a show so I can meet their dogs in person. The breeds they suggested were Kishu and Shikoku, both primitive breeds that mixed very well with my needs and even with most of my wants.

Then through them I found out about the Japanese Terrier, a terrier breed bred for companionship that still has that terrier spice in a small, around 10” to 13” to the shoulder, package. An alert dog that gets along with most other dogs and enjoys dog sports.

I hope someday to be a breeder for at least one of the following breeds as they have truly captured my heart, I don’t think any other breed could fit quite as well as what I’ve heard about these breeds could:

Kishu, Shikoku, Japanese Terriers, and/or Algarve Barrocal Dogs.

Now, you may be wondering about Algarve Barrocal Dogs as they aren’t really known outside of Portugal and I had not brought them up earlier in my ramble, well, this is because I found out about their existence completely on my own while I was learning about the culture that my father left behind. They are a medium sized, primitive hunting breed that comes from Barrocal in Algarve, Portugal.

Described as perfectly suited for the rough terrain of Barrocal, they were bred to be prolific hunters that are lively and accepting of other dogs, they should be tolerant with a “pyramid shaped” head. If I had to choose a breed they looked the most like I’d choose the Silken Windhound, but don’t think they’re interchangeable, there are several key differences. Algarve Barrocal Dogs are also not recognized by the AKC, UKC, or even the FCI yet, so in order to get involved with them I’d have to visit Portugal and track down the right people which I hope to do someday, they’re amazing dogs and if everything goes well I hope to bring them to the US and help them get recognized if I could manage and afford such a venture in the future

If I could afford and manage to breed all 4 breeds I would, however, it seems more likely that I’ll start with Kishu and Shikoku and see if I could handle more from there. I get to go to my second show ever the weekend of October 20th, it’s in my hometown, I’m hoping that some dogs of the breeds I’m interested in will be there this year, however, I’m aware that it’s a long shot and will continue to attempt to meet dogs and breeders from these breeds.

~~~

All of this to say, don’t talk on things you aren’t willing to listen to others who are more educated about, and if you choose to talk on something, don’t get pissy if someone corrects you respectfully. The hobby needs to pull together and be more welcoming, if we stay divided and not willing to talk about controversies and not willing to hold people accountable, we will fall and the breeds we love will have less and less good breeders keeping them healthy and stable. We should be nurturing people’s interest and fascination, not stomping them down for asking “stupid” questions or pointing out things and asking about why we do things the way we do.

I hope to be getting my first wellbred dog soon enough but, I know I can handle it. I know I’m prepared. I hope to see the hobby be what I know it can be, these bans will keep coming and affecting things for the worst if we don’t politely and respectfully educate the public, go out and talk about our dogs, help people find good breeders and be able to identify bad breeders and the shades of gray between, and encourage people to show and perform with their dogs instead of tearing them down for mistakes. I hope to see a community that’s less clique-y and more supportive of each other in the future.

Once I'm established with my dogs and have been around the block, absolutely I will be encouraging and helping new people handle, show, and do sports with their dogs. I may be a purebred snob but will never ever turn my nose up at new people who are willing and able to learn or even people wanting to argue. We're all just people who love dogs at the end of the day, we should help each other achieve the best we possibly can so we can do justice for all of the amazing breeds out there, even if some aren't personally our tastes. We all have things we can learn from each other and I cannot wait to learn even more about dogs and this amazing, yet nerve-wracking to get into, hobby!

Sincerely,

Luka of CaniCulture🐾

Canine Trinket Collector

Dog Enthusiast and Aspiring Photographer

Aspiring Dog Groomer, Breeder, Exhibitor, and Trainer

[etherlights]

“Feel Good: The Romanticization of Tr*uma”

TW:a*use tr*ma *ssault *ddict*on

I recently happened upon this Netflix original series when I was well out of television shows to binge and searching for a good British comedy.

Originally, I decided to watch the series after a brief introduction through the trailer in which I found Mae Martin to be attractive (and reasonably so) and was also excited at the prospect of masc/nonbinary queer representation in a TV show (which is rare to happen upon these days but that is a whole other story)

I will have to admit, I did find the presentation and acting style a bit hard to stomach at the beginning, although I did understand it was intentionally meant to be choppy and a bit jarring, but I kept watching - partially out of boredom, partially for the eye candy ;)

However, I definitely did not expect the show to end up being so raw, touching, and straight up illuminating.

The character ‘Mae’ who is a factionalized version of the Canadian comedian Mae Martin, walks us through her life as a recovering addict who is living abroad in England.

The series is essentially an autobiography of the comedian’s story as they navigate relationships and adulthood while stuck in a relatively pubescent state of mind; as is a quite common psychological response to trauma.

The problem is, as the character is spiraling, they aren’t even aware of the root cause of their self destructive tendencies.

They spend a majority of the series, sorting through bits and pieces of their blurred memory, to only eventually remember the fact that they had been s*xually *ssaulted as a teenager. After which, their agent attempts to use it as a marketing advantage claiming “trauma is trendy.”

The heart of the matter is: that statement, although meant to be ironic, is actually reflected as true in today’s world.

I remember as a teenager, binge watching my favorite TV show ‘Skins’ (also a British drama) which revolved around the lives of secondary students who faced severe family issues and toxic relationships.

At the time, I was truly naive as to what was being portrayed, but with the partying, the s*x, drugs, and “forever” friendships - I truly believed this was a representation of life at it’s finest.

Only years later, I realized these kinds of portrayals of toxic relationships, impulsive behaviors, and reckless endangerment are far from romantic or even remotely enjoyable.

I can unfortunately, deeply relate to these characters struggles to this day, especially in this particular series - in which Mae had subconsciously blocked out entire periods of their adolescent because it was too painful to bear.

On many social platforms, including Tumblr and more recently TIkTok: unhealthy behaviors and situations are continuously romanticized through the use of aesthetic appeals.

We may not even realize it as we consume, but we are dangerously being fed notions that toxic romance is alluring, mental illness is just as relatable as a meme, and drug and alcohol abuse are a iconic way to breeze through life.

Too often, we excuse people who subtly promote these behaviors with commentary such as “Don’t be so sensitive, it’s just a joke”

There is a fine line between comedy and the mishandling of life-altering behaviors and this series dauntingly explores what happens if you don’t tread carefully.

The series leaves you wondering exactly how “trends” can warp our idealizations of reality, but ultimately ends on a wistful note.

I would rate this Netflix original a 7.5/10 and recommend it to those who may relate to it with caution.

Although, there is a comfort in knowing someone else has experienced similar pains, there is always the danger that it could trigger something buried deep down under.

I hope anyone who is struggling, gets the help they need and the love they deserve. You are not alone, and you are going to make it.

Peace and love,

X Ether

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Fear 8x06 - Maps, Clocks, Frosty the Snowman, Dwight and Sherry

@wdway

Frosty the snowman!! Not there, there, just gone.

@wdway

In the one shot where we see Morgan moving across, Frosty is still in the corner, we see two clocks, Tara would you take a closer look at that clock above Morgan, it seems like the numbers 7,8,9 are in white. Just look closely and let me know what you think. But then Frosty disappears.

@galadrieljones

I saw that Frosty and had a total brain fart moment. I was like, “I know that’s important but I can’t remember why.” LOL. Good call!!

Also, yeah that Frosty comes out of nowhere. He’s not in the original shots of the scene with Mo and Morgan in the boat. He shows up only after the cut to Madison’s situation. Idk if he’s just hiding, but it’s a little weird!

Unfortunately I can’t make out anything on that clock though.

@galadrieljones:

A couple of other things. I have some stuff I still need to look up. But, here’s the location of Madison’s coordinates:

Lea County, NM

A similar if not exact location is circled on the map in the coda

it’s where I maybe thought the Diamond was, but I can’t be sure about that.

I’m actually standing corrected on the Diamond now, so disregard that. The Diamond is estimated to be closer to Austin, in east Texas. In any case, there’s a spot marked on the map in the coda that looks like it’s at Lea County, NM, which is on the list of PADRE secret coordinates

Okay sorry I’m looking up all these places, but I may be in and out lol

Also weird discoveries emerging. I’ll be back lol.

@wdway:

I'm a little confused about the one location on the East Coast showing Savannah and that area. Are you saying that the location takes us there.

@galadrieljones

Yeah this is the location of the coordinates Madison broadcasts over the radio in the coda.

@wdway:

I understand your thinking about the possibility that it could be Troy. You've present a very good case. I think that most people that are Fear watchers from the beginning will follow that line of thought. Here are some of the things I'm hung up on whether it is Troy, Beth or someone from left field that we have no idea of. TPTB wants the viewer to think and talk about the possibilities here. Which is exactly what we're doing.

There will be very few people, numbers wise from the audience that will even connect Beth to this person. In looking at the map I assumed that the places that are circled were places that the Fear group had been. You mentioned the canteen as a Troy symbol. A water canteen is also a Beth symbol because water is a big Beth symbol.

The hammer I think you pretty well proved it is the same as the one that Madison hit Troy with. But a hammer can be a symbol for Tyrese, although I believe he had a claw hammer. The sunglasses do look like Strand's. But sunglasses themselves has been seen once on Daryl when he and Aaron first go out looking for people he's wearing them while on his motorcycle, in the same episode where they find the blonde girl tied to the tree. Sunglasses are also connected to Morgan, we see him wearing sunglasses when he takes off that strange mask and sunglasses in the coda of No Sanctuary.

We have talked for years about the possibility of sight issues with Beth, possibly sensitivity to light so the sunglasses would be a hint of that. I guess I go back to my original point of for whoever this person is supposed to be they left enough clues that could connect to Beth but only Die Hard TD'ERS would connect to Beth. I truly don't know that I believe it's her. I think it could be, but I would not be shocked if it's not and probably more shocked if it is.

We do know that Emily was in Savannah thanks to her letting us know that she was there for, "a friend's wedding" during the same time that we know Fear was filming. So the possibilities there. The radio is also this huge connection since we believe that that is how Daryl could possibly find that that is alive. So you see I'm totally back and forth open to all possibilities and not really wanting to eliminate any. But no matter who it is it makes me want to see part 2 of Fear.

I feel that this first half of the last season of Fear was about tying up Morgan's story and the characters that came on board once he joined the show. The second half it's going to be more about the characters that was on Fear the first 3 seasons before Morgan.

We need to keep in mind also that they're only 6 episodes left to finish up Fear. Doesn't mean there won't be things plots dangling, but overall they need to close it out.

@galadrieljones:

I have the EXACT same thinking as you, which is that they for whatever reason want us talking about this, and they want us thinking it could be Beth, but also they have planted the evidence for Troy’s return (or somebody avenging Troy). To me, that lock of blond hair is what does it most. I agree with you that I don’t really know if I think it’s Beth, but…what if it is?

I also had the same thinking about the hammer and Tyreese. The hammer is also associated with Nick, but I think that Nick is meant to be a Tyreese proxy in the end. The hammer I also associate with Christ imagery, as Jesus Christ was a carpenter.

@wdway

I agreed with @twdmusicboxmystery about how they wrapped up the Dwight and Sherry's storyline was abrupt. I could see if they had longer time then they could have gone through the mouring process and decide to leave because it was just too painful to be together always being reminded that their son was dead. They didn't have time to do that. I do assume that we'll see Dwight again and not Sherry.

I found it sad that Finch didn't live but then again I was totally ticked at so much time on this brother and sister duo that ultimately led to nothing but death and heartache. I truly think things had to change and they had to shorten the story because of the limited number of episodes for the last season. They did leave enough to go into other plot lines and they did show us that we have not been crazy in noticing all these things that must have come from other places like coffee, tropical fruit, different items like that. The Walking Dead universe is much larger than Georgia, DC or the CW.

@galadrieljones

I totally agree about Dwight and Sherry, and I feel they were treated with a bit of disrespect here in the end. Their story line was rushed and led to only pain with no hope and no catharsis. I don’t get what the message or point was for them. If they wanted to write Dwight into the CRM storyline they could have done that in a million ways. They could have even just had Sherry like, wake up and find a note from Dwight, saying he had to go do something and he was too scared to bring her with him because he couldn’t lose another person he loves.

As it stands it did feel like Dwight/Sherry whump, which I always dislike. I was surprise they let Finch die. It’s not that they haven’t let kids die before, but this was the first since basically Henry, and Finch is much littler than Henry. It felt like some sort of weird sacrifice.

Maybe it’s meant to communicate that the only way to survive the bites is to be exposed to radiation BEFORE you’re bitten, or to keep applying radiation for an extended period of time. I wondered if perhaps the thing that ended up killing Finch AND Grace was actually just the radiation and not the infection. A gnarly radiation burn won’t look much different than a gnarly infection.

It might also be communicating that the infection only goes dormant with radiation and doesn’t ever die. Remember, we all have it, whatever the infection is. I have begun to wonder if it’s something written in our genes, or if it’s like mRNA or something. Once it’s in us, it’s a part of us. Almost like a cancer.

Also, Alicia’s situation was so unique. She was exposed to constant micro doses of radiation, because she lived in an irradiated wasteland. She was also able to amputate, which may have prevented the full viral load from proliferating through her blood stream.

Speculation: Is this part of why they couldn’t let the wards go at Grady? Because they needed constant doses of the treatment for a long time? Or if because they were still being studied, in terms of how long and how much treatment they need? Do they need to be treated until they are able to survive the fever? It seems like we need the fever to burn off.

Also, does it matter where the bite is? A bite on a limb is simply further from the limbic system. Any infection needs more time to spread from a limb than from anywhere on the torso where all the vital organs are stashed. It seems like all of June’s patients were bit on inoperable parts of the body, like the back or shoulder.

@galadrieljones

In any case I will say I was very shocked that Dwight would want to separate from Sherry on purpose. His whole arc was about becoming strong for those who need him and not just capitulating in the face of threats. He is definitely a “quitter,” I think.

I think Dwight is in a constant fight for authority over his own life, and I think that Sherry sees this and she sees his lack of a core belief system. He is only ever fighting. He’s not doing it for any reason other than to protect the people he loves, and while this is fine we do see what happens to Shane in the beginning. He’s doing the same thing. He’s willing to go full-blown evil if that’s what it takes (or what he thinks it’s going to take). Anyway, I think they could have done this in a way that wasn’t so haphazard. I think it’s actually w the lowest point of the entire show.

I would have rather them just kill off Sherry, tbh.

But now I’m digressing lol.

Part of the issue I see with the show right now is that they are very hesitant to kill characters because they want the potential to bring them back later. Because the future of the franchise is a bit unclear right now, they don’t know how long or far they want to take things. They may want to reunite Dwight and Sherry again, as it’s a crowd pleaser. Part of me though doesn’t believe they’ll actually separate from each other as they’ve tried now a million times to do just that and it never takes.

But like imagine being all alone in this life and suddenly your husband of like ten years is like, “Well, I’ll go my way and you go yours.” I would be devastated, like, what am I supposed to do? Start over? Find a whole new community? Granted I am not Sherry, but still. It broke my heart.

It’s not like she can just move back to her hometown and live with her mom till things settle down. She’s just…alone…on an island…in the middle of the apocalypse.

@wdway

I think it really must have been that they wanted to leave the Dwight's character open-ended since he is going to head back to Virginia. Sherry, I'm assuming would go help June or Madison. I think the idea of Dwight leaving Sherry a note would have been a better ending. Dwight explaining that he couldn't bear to look at her because it reminded him too much of what they had lost and he will always love her, he just can't deal right now.

You talked about Grady and if the wards might have needed long-term exposure to radiation. I think they pretty well told us that when Dawn was talking to Beth saying that people always ultimately returned. Dawn implied that people had nowhere else to go but she did tell Beth that if she didn't eat Beth would start to feel bad and need more treatment. I think treatment is ongoing at least for a while.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Love all the discussion today, Ladies! I’ve enjoyed popping in to read it a little at a time.

Yeah, I watched the end of the episode this morning, and was probably still sleepy. I totally didn’t register that the person in the coda has both hands, lol. But of course that makes the tease, and especially the blond hair, all the more intriguing.

I think the arguments about Troy are compelling. I equally think it’s possible that it’s Beth (and obviously I’m hoping for that). I also agree that even if it IS Beth, this probably isn’t Emily. They’re purposely making this person androgynous to keep us guessing on the gender.

Of course, even if it is Troy, that would still be interesting because, as you’ve both laid out, it would still be a “dead” person returning and reuniting with past characters.

And, it sounds a little weird to say it this way, but if it’s Troy and he suddenly has blond hair, it would be even more of a Beth hint, akin to Leah suddenly having blond hair. (Tho of course I would prefer I’d this was just Beth.

I also wanted to say that I thought their “we never really lose people” theme was interesting. It just feels very convenient to bring it up now, when Morgan is about to go looking for Rick and we’re going to head in to the CRM storyline.

@wdway

Have you guys noticed that on AMC Plus they have been pushing the origin stories of Maggie and Negan. Obviously it's part of the promotion for their spin-off. But I'm hoping that they do the same thing just before Daryl's spin-off which would mean the viewers hearing Daryl talk about Beth. Him acknowledging Beth being to only girl to be nice to him. ;D)

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I love that idea!

[waterolivecoffiyeh]

Replying to Puppyluver256

Well, I see I finally have your attention. @puppyluver256

You'll have to excuse me if I couldn't reply sooner given the waterfall of word vomit I had to slog through for anything relevant. It was incredibly hard to pinpoint your actual response when you're simultaneously rambling about everything and nothing at all.

Additionally, it's hilarious that you think sprinkling random videos into your reply makes your points more valid. If anything, it just makes you look like you can't formulate a proper rebuttal without turning this into a dumb meme. Way to demonstrate how little you actually care about the topic.

But since you’ve decided to finally acknowledge what I’ve written, I will address everything you wrote, irrelevant as some topics may be and unlike you, I will not be lazy and ”skim through”. If I don’t cover a specific thing, it’s because I’ve either already stated my opinion elsewhere or I didn't care enough to discuss it.

And by the way? Confessing that you just skimmed through my blog shows me you still don’t understand a single word of what I’ve been saying as your response is so tactless, disorganized, and rife with paranoia.

Oh, and if you’re going to be "using my words" actually take time to read what I said vs "what you remember”. In fact, here's a link. Anyone who's reading this post can see exactly what I said. I'd have added a quote to this post but my response to you is already far too long and my old post is possibly even longer.

But I’ve stalled enough. Let’s comb through this mess together, shall we? Do try, and extend the same courtesy I’m giving you by actually reading my reply this time. Perhaps you will learn something.

Firstly, I’m going to get this out of the way since it really stuck in your craw: The misgendering.

1. You have not been going exclusively by they/them pronouns for years. I had been a follower for years prior to my departure and even when I returned when this whole debacle started, you still had she/they listed as your preferred pronouns on your blog and on other socials. You had she/they up for years. It was only within the past two weeks you made the switch (at the time of this post’s original upload). 2. I've paid enough attention to you to know this was a recent change, so if my older posts still say "she" that's because you still had female pronouns displayed on your blog at the time they were originally written. Trying to retroactively accuse me of transphobia is completely disingenuous. 3. Furthermore, if you wanted to be known exclusively by they/them you should have nixed the "she" stuff long ago. Additionally, my recent post doesn't even use "she" so stop trying to rage-bait anyone reading this with the narrative of me being transphobic. I'm LGBT+ too and frankly, I’m disappointed someone who’s in the same community would stoop to such a level.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let's get right to the heart of things: Addressing the holes that make your argument about Israel VS Palestine null and void.

I’m going to straight out call you a liar about you having known about Palestine for 20+ years.

1. If that was truly the case it would infer you knew how sensitive this subject was the entire time and still choose to believe your own interpretations of events instead of the actual facts. 2. You wouldn't have worded your so-called "freeverse" poetry so vaguely at a time when news of the genocide was breaking. Yes, you could have still said you felt helpless, but you chose to spin the current news of Israel vs Palestinian as a consequence of religious dogma, which it is not (more on this point further down). 3. Your “freeverse" poetry is nothing more than a bunch of melancholy platitudes where you lament your ineffectiveness and wail "Oh, woe is me! Won’t someone please comfort poor little me?” Frankly, that's the majority of your posts. They have always been tiny soapboxes for you to stand on to whinge and whine about how a specific situation affects you selfishly, treating your personal discomfort as more important than any actual victims of said situation. 4. This claim you care too much? It's a load of BS. You’re insincere to others and lying to yourself. If you truly did care, you'd take a hot second to actually read my blog. Leaving the poem up is just you not wanting to admit it's tone-deaf and a poorly uneducated take. If you truly learned anything you would have either removed it or added an addendum about why it was harmful, but you don’t want to do either because then it would draw more attention to you and you might actually be held accountable for something for once. 5. All of the posts that I archived coincide with dates of big news coming out of Palestine and they are either passive-aggressive or purposefully vague. I told you before whatever you're complaining about you're not the least bit subtle. If you didn't want people to scrutinize what you wrote, you wouldn't post certain things online and quietly keep your certain thoughts to yourself. 6. Don't use the excuse of "Well it's my blog!" to dodge accountability. When you use social media like a personal journal, everyone can see your opinions and since this is SOCIAL MEDIA, emphasis on the word “social”, anyone can respond. It's like reading your diary out loud to strangers in a crowded room. Everyone can hear you and they may have an opinion about what you wrote and it may not be what you want to hear. People can and will call you out. You are not free from criticism or rebuttal just because it’s a personal opinion. Consequence free speech does not exist. The moment you open your mouth, you are opening yourself up to a response from someone else be it positive, negative, or neutral. Trying to hide behind a shield of “Don’t reply to me! This is my personal space!” makes you appear weak in conviction. 7. Touting your atheism and your “secular humanism” as if makes you intellectually superior or more empathetic is self-aggrandizing and frustrating to watch. Pretending to be more intelligent because you don’t believe in God does not make you better than those who hold faith in their hearts. Playing this role as the untouchable enlightened who has seen the truth unlike the “masses of ignorant sheep” who believe in a higher power is what egotistical jackasses do and it’s a bad look. You’re every bit the Strawman archetype for the “Insufferable Atheist”. You’re almost at parody levels of cliché.

Just look at this paragraph you wrote without a shred of irony:

“I may be an atheist, but more importantly I am a secular humanist, and before knowing the latter term and taking on that label I was still an atheist even at the time, so the religious argument of “god gave them that land, they own that land” would never have worked on me the way it seems to with so many people. And tbh I don’t even know if that’s an argument that the Israeli government themselves put forward (it’s a terrible argument no matter who put it forward), but I do know that Christian fundamentalist extremists say things like that in their push for “god’s people” to return to "their god-ordained homeland” so they (the Christian extremists, I mean, just so we don’t get confused here) can try to usher in the end of the world based on the drug trip of a final volume in their bizarre storybook and no I am not kidding that is literally what they believe.”

Way to give yourself a pat on the back for a way of thinking millions of other people also share. You’re not the only atheist living in the Bible Belt. You’re not that special or unique.

If you were knowledgeable about the conflict in the Middle East you would speak from the socio-political perspective and not reduce this tragedy to a simple religious war (as if those too aren’t also extremely nuanced and complicated). Do you want to know how I know this? You contradict yourself in the very next paragraph:

”You must inform anyone you come across of this travesty. You must not let them look away either. But the suffering will continue regardless. They are all convinced they are in the right, all fighting for the will of a god that they will never confirm to be real, in fact the same god in wildly different interpretations. All the while, the innocents caught in the crossfire will continue to die, glorified in the disgusting “honor” known as martyrdom."

…Do you not see the irony here?

Tell me you didn’t imply this is situation is a religious war right there. Your words alone are tell me you believe it's solely religiously motivated and nothing more.

Let me tell you something. It's not.

The genocide of Palestinians can be rooted in the fact that Israel is basically an illegal colonization and occupation of land. People were forced to leave their homes, losing them in the process and then having Israel settlers move in and take over. Anyone with half a brain and a lick of common sense knows for a fact that Israel is trying to kill off the natives to take this land. Don't you dare blame the Palestinians! Most of us do not blame the Jews or the Muslims for this conflict.

Also? "Crossfire?" Please enlighten me where the crossfire is because most of the time it's Israel causing the destruction and killing. There is no crossfire when the Palestinians are the intended targets. Or are you gonna bring out Hamas as another excuse for calling it a crossfire…if you even know who or what Hamas is.

And the most insulting thing of all is that you sit, comfy and safe thousands of miles away from the horror of this reality, blaming both sides simply because they have faith in the same kind of God. Their religious texts may not be the same as the Christian fundamentalist extremists but they have the same roots. Calling any religious text a “bizarre storybook” is a disgusting insult. For someone who claims to be a “secular humanist” you seem to lack a core component of humanity. Your inference that if only both sides dropped their beliefs and chose logic & reason over faith & God, the blinders would fall off and they would instantly come to their senses, stop fighting, and be at peace.

That is not how real life works.

Religion is not the end all be all seed of all evil that sows discord all over the globe and it’s repulsive you believe it could ever be that simple. Even if EVERYONE in the Middle East adopted your perspective, there would still be pain and suffering. It would still be a genocide in that region. You have a lot of audacity to reduce this down to such a trifling matter, much less say and believe it.

You think you’re the smartest person in the room because you can’t be “fooled” into believing in God? In reality, you’ve shown your ass to the world with how callous and apathetic you are. And I’m not interested in your grandstanding of how decent you are.

And if you want to continue to deny it? Look at your own damn tags:

Side note? You should take the advice listed and grab a snack and a drink because we’ve barely scratched the surface. We’re going to talk about your justifications and excuses for why you can’t handle this news (Spoiler: none of them are valid).

“This is something that is not going to surprise anyone who knows me to hear: I have the emotional constitution of an improperly set flan.”

Tell me something I don’t know. In fact, how about you tell me how you’ve made it to your age without learning how to strike the proper balance between staying informed and not being burnt out from information overload.

You claim you want to hide from “the horrors of the world while online for the sake of your own sanity”. I have some very bad news for you: that environment no longer exists. The internet is no longer a niche little ecosystem that only a few people have access too. Everyone and their mother has a Facebook, a Twitter, an Instagram, etc. and that includes news organizations and major corporations. These days information travels faster. We live in a world where we can get live updates happening in real time which is absolutely paramount when so much news is actually being censored. But I’ll go over that later. I want to focus on this part specifically:

“Every single post about it, tweet about it, insertion into a video I was watching that gave no prior indication it would even remotely talk about it, it kept breaking my heart little by little, especially as I could do nothing to help and the charged language of everything was written to basically shame anyone who didn’t do anything regardless of whether or not they were actually capable of doing so.”

Of course people are talking about this! Its major news that has a global impact on so many things especially your country! We are potentially about to get involved in another so-called “war” that will last 20+ years and cost trillions of dollars! There are people who still don’t know if their loved ones are alive or dead because they’re being held hostage by amoral monsters who will kill them without second thought. Everyone is afraid for the future. Try to step outside yourself for a few seconds and look at the big picture.

No one is asking you to donate everything you own, join all the boycotts, or get involved in every debate and discussion. You always had the ability to choose your level of engagement, even none at all. Yet what you fail to grasp time and time again is that if you want to have an opinion on Palestine, you have to stay informed. You can’t reject information because it upsets you and then turn around and state your opinions on said subject even vaguely. You can’t have it both ways.

And you can tell me till you’re blue in the face your “freeverse” poem and all those other posts were not about Palestine. I do not believe you. You are trying to sneakily weasel your way into the discussion in a way that prevents anyone from replying because the slightest pushback leaves you running scared, blocking to avoid any productive conversation.

Also? I just have to ask: Where are these pictures of dead bodies you’re talking about? I have been plugged into multiple news outlets and even some accounts right at the source and I have not seen even a fraction of this “gruesome injury and death” you speak of. You phrase it as if it’s just a 24/7 parade of gore to mentally scar you. You’re the one in control of what you see. No one is holding your eyes open as you oh so dramatically put it. The onus is on you to enforce your boundaries, which by the way, are for your protection not to correct or change everyone else’s behavior.

Don’t like what someone posts? Unfollow them.

Don’t like when a video starts talking about Israel vs Palestine? Skip ahead or close out.

Don’t want to read posts about it? Keep scrolling part.

Try to actually learn how to properly use the tools you have instead of complaining that total strangers who wouldn’t know you from Adam aren’t catering to your incredibly specific sensibilities. Maybe take a look at your block list and see if some of the things on there are really worth losing sleep over.

As for the rest of section 2?

“All of this on top of my more direct struggles–adjusting to a new house I never wanted to move to in a location I never wanted to even visit again.”

It’s been a year and half since you posted you were moving. You’re telling me you still haven’t adjusted to your new home?

“learning to care for a new dog and never getting enough time to get anything done as a result, constantly getting bitten by said dog”

You are seriously blaming your dog for contributing to your “heartache”? Really? That’s the level we’re at? Frankly? You don’t sound like a responsible pet owner either. You adopted that dog last September and you’re still struggling with training? In my opinion, you could benefit from spending even more time with him. Less opportunities to get mired in the news and decompress mentally.

“the brand new house constantly falling apart either due to shoddy workmanship or because of Dog”

Old houses need a lot more work but in general you need to follow basic upkeep so things continue to run smoothly. And if your dog is destroying things, he’s not getting the proper attention/training.

“never getting enough sleep anymore (admittedly through no one’s fault but my own)”

You are quite literally your own worst enemy.

“pulling my hair out over all this stress and then stressing out over that in a vicious cycle of bald”

If that is the case, you seriously need to seek help to figure out a proper way to manage your stress levels. It should never get this bad. However, everything else before it? The move? The house repairs? The dog? These are just the daily routines of everyday life. If this is the “worst” it gets then you’re already doing better than most. You should feel incredibly blessed you even have a home, a pet, and a living family. The Palestinians don’t even have the remains of their loved ones to properly bury. Try to keep things in perspective. It’ll keep you humble and grounded.

Now, shifting gears to things that are only tangentially related because you're incapable of staying focused on the main topic, your "Fandomazation of Tragedy" section is ridiculously over-bloated with random nonsense totally unrelated to my criticism but I will address it since you felt you had to include it. I’m only doing this because there is one specific paragraph that truly enrages me so I’ll cover that first.

1. I know and have seen people show support for Palestine via edits, gifs, cartoons, or game characters because that was what they felt they could do to show solidarity and support. And if not that, they are boosting other support posts.

You want to claim it's tasteless and wrong for people to make Fakémon for Palestine? I'll tell you what's truly tasteless. This right here:

“I’m sure you can gather what Fakemon is through context, fan-made Pokemon, something I’ve heavily gotten into myself via the Cantessy project and at least three planned future Fakemon projects, and have been following plenty of artists and collaborative creators in the field for years now.”

Using genocide as a springboard to plug your fanfics and art? This is NOT the time nor the place to promote your fan projects! There is ZERO reason this should have been included! How dare you try to siphon attention away from an actual genocide and turn it into an opportunity to get more attention, followers, and feedback. How dare you try to milk this for your gain. And finally, how dare you criticize people using art as a means to express viewpoints or work through the emotions associated because it intrudes on your precious little playground while you try to poach new followers. That's true hypocrisy right there.

2. Cartoons and game characters have been used to make political statements for years (WW2 shorts via Disney and Loony Toons anyone?) This is not a new trend. FREE HONG KONG was just a few years ago after the controversy with Blizzard siding with China. This sort of thing isn't new and it’s not going away.

Side note? I've seen you complain about seeing Palestinian stuff in Splatoon 3 plazas, yet at the very bottom of your response to me is a manta ray character with a watermelon design. You wouldn't be using that to support Palestine if you honestly believed using fandom in political talking points was so "wrong".

And since Pokémon is your favorite fandom judging by your recent fanart series, need I remind you that when PETA tried to take potshots at this franchise for promoting animal abuse, there was a slew of pushback from its fandom in the form of fanart? They openly mocked PETA for trying to push their agenda on a fantasy game and claimed Nintendo and Game Freak supported animal abuse. Does that count as “unsettling” to you because it brings in real-world issues to light-hearted media…or does this one get a pass because it aligns with your personal system of ideals?

3. People do this sort of fanart to come to terms with stressful situations or to show solidarity with others because if there is anything we all have in common it’s the cartoons we watch, the comics we read, and the video games we play. Fandoms cross international borders. Those artists who make pro-Palestine art do so to connect with others to say, “Hey, I see you. You’ve not been forgotten. We’re with you.” And maybe, just maybe, those things can provide a little bit of comfort and support for people trapped in the middle of this nightmare. God knows they deserve a moment of levity and solace.

That being said if that sort of thing really doesn’t gel with you, that’s fine. But you need to understand other people feel differently. Furthermore? There is still plenty of non-politicized fanart out there. Yet you get so worked up when you stumble across anyone who posts pro-Palestine related fanart in your wanderings that you obsess over it and then sulk for hours before going online and crying about how you can’t escape “The Current Bad Thing That’s Been Happening Lately”. It’s absolutely pathetic for someone your age to act this way.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let’s get back on track: Your so-called "state of decision paralysis”.

That is a weak excuse for why you haven't do thing one to demonstrate your supposed support despite asserting it multiple times in your response. Saying you don't know what to boost? You don't know what's actual real vs fraudulent?

Well, Mx."I've known about the Palestinian conflict for 20+ years" you'd know if you were actually tuned into the issue, did a tiny bit of research to see which posts were gaining traction, checked their authenticity, or even followed Palestinians online. So yeah, that argument? It doesn’t track. And it’s contradictory too. For someone who claims to have over two decades of knowledge on this subject, you seem to know only two things: Jack and Shit.

1. Saying delving too deep into this subject would shut you down entirely? Apparently not since you had knowledge of this conflict before anyone else? You must be an oracle if you were able to see 20 years into the future! 2. Hesitant to donate because you’re weary of malicious scams? While understandable you can still find established charities like the UNRWA to provide relief or if you truly can’t spare the money, look into the backgrounds of those funds to see where the money is going so you can include links in your bio or boost posts that have them listed. 3. Can’t attend a protest? No one said it was required. I don’t know why you’re letting the charged language of more vocal or active supporters have so much influence over you like this. Can you really not weed out the impassioned from the manipulative? And don’t delude yourself into thinking getting arrested would have any impact on your parents. You’re over 18. You’d be responsible for you.

Oh but wait! The protests you are involved in are coincidental! Well, that balances out!

…I’m being sarcastic by the way if you can’t tell.

Saying you unknowingly have been joining the boycotts cause you avoided Starbucks/Walmart/McDonald's up until recently? That doesn't count if you weren't aware of the movement when it started, so stop trying to score brownie points from your followers.

The simple truth is you didn't want to boost anything because it didn’t fit the aesthetic of your blog so don't come online claiming you can't make a decision. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You only recently reblogged that one post to try and save face. If you truly cared about this situation then your blog would reflect that fact.

And now the last paragraph in section three and the entirety of section four: That I ”misrepresented your posts" and your issues with how people write "censor tags."

If you’re concerned about people misinterpreting your posts, you need to consider reviewing what you wrote before it goes up. With how much you complain over the news, anyone who watches you would assume you were making more digs at Palestine. And when you add that to the passive-aggressive posts you’ve already made, it's not hard to draw certain conclusions.

“I was being vague for the purposes of letting anyone fit in whatever thing they’d find upsetting and needing to filter, and that was deliberately taken as me dismissing a very specific travesty.”

Yeah. No. That does not line up with the timeline of breaking news and when you posted.

“In my case, I often times forget entirely to clear out my filters when I’m in a mindset to not need them anymore.”

Then why are you getting angry at being, in your own words, “tragedy-jump scared” when you’re the one who took the filters off in the first place? Why are you upset other people are still talking about an ongoing situation they want to know about instead of hiding themselves to protect your sensitive soul? And that leads me into the second paragraph…

Your complaint about how people misspell tags to get past the censors.

…I’m going to give you a quick crash course in Internet History because you either don't seem to understand the why: People wouldn't need to change the spelling of those tags if it wasn't being seen as something to already censor. The reason that type of "misspelling" began was because POCs were being censored for talking about their trauma and personal experiences by non-POCs. They became uncomfortable with POCs talking about racism, rape, suicide, gun violence, police brutality, abuse, drugs, alcohol. The POCs used purposeful misspellings so they could stop being harassed by non-POCs for making them uncomfortable or getting their stuff taken down. But before long, this practice migrated outside of Tumblr and has now been adapted by people who did not understand the original origin and it snowballed from there.

People like you always cry about how you hate seeing certain topics brought up but then turn around to complain about misspelled tags and how it trivializes serious subjects. People like you create these conditions and then act clueless about why it so. And why? Because you try to push your boundaries on other people to change their behavior instead of taking yourself out of the environment causing you stress. THAT is what true boundaries are.

However, tag censorship is your own personal pet peeve to deal with and I've wasted too much time on this tangent. It is seriously so hard to stay on message when you go off random topics unconnected to the core issue. Can’t help but feel that’s intentional to obscure things. I guess it works for you though. If you can’t counter an argument, just wear the other person down into giving up. Brevity must not be a word you’re unfamiliar with.

Too bad for you I’m actually willing to pick your response apart sentence by sentence so let’s get to the conclusion which for some reason is the longest section! I’m going to be jumping around a lot. Try to keep up.

1. I said earlier that Palestinian news is being suppressed as hell online here in the West. Getting news straight from the source is very important in situations like this. Suppression of information is detrimental to us as a whole so if people need to circumvent mass media censorship to tell the world what's really going on, so be it. I will stand in support of them. That will always matter more to me than the whims of advertisers or the lobbyists who have these companies in their pockets. Or in this specific case, the emotions of one sad blogger. 2. Just as I have the right to this information, you too have the right to burrow your head in the sand and remain blissfully unaware. You're an adult. You have the power to just close a tab or block anyone you wish. You have a lot of tools to curate your feed but you can’t do that and it’s not because its everywhere you look. It’s because if you truly cut yourself off, you’d have nothing of substance to say…not that you had much substance to begin with. You need a reason to complain. It helps you feel self-important. 3. The fact that a huge portion of your response was tangents about tag censorship, using fandom as a platform for political discussion, and retroactively joining boycotts demonstrates that you can't even give Palestine the attention it deserves, miring the issue with personal anecdotes or mindless prattle.

To put it bluntly, you're not someone who can have a mature conversation with me.

“You carefully made sure there was no way I would find your blog and your targeted harassment under normal circumstances–even with that one instance of you commenting directly on my post that led to me blocking you.”

The reason for this is right there in your very own words. I confronted you outright rather than trying to hide in your DM’s and you instantly block evaded me to avoid any further conversation. I had to resort to these backward measures of archiving because you cut all communication instantly. How can any effective communication be had when the other person chooses to run away rather than address the issue?

“You’d tagged all of your posts with tags you either knew or suspected I would have filtered via vanilla Tumblr so that I could not see it while logged in even if I unblocked you or told Tumblr to show me your blog despite my block, or perhaps you blocked me on that blog and Tumblr finally fixed the issue of blocked users being able to view the blogs of those that blocked them.”

Considering your block/filter list probably goes into the hundreds? I’m not surprised you couldn’t find me initially. And by the way, you’re still not blocked on my blog. You’re welcome to respond at any time. And unlike you, I won’t try to hide.

“Hell, I only found out about this in the first place from a mere google fluke, trying to make sure my own inattentiveness on a completely unrelated issue didn’t lead to someone doing exactly what you’ve done on that issue and just so happening to be on an incognito window while doing so.”

Gotta say that’s a hell of a coincidence. Also gotta say I don’t believe it for one damn second.

As far as I've witnessed, you’re extremely reactionary and simply unable to tolerate it when you get called out so don't try to hold me to a standard you yourself don't follow. I've seen how you interact with people who challenge you or disagree with you, including going out of your way to pester folks in their online space to provoke a reaction before you block evade, and then congratulate yourself as if you outwitted them and laugh "haha another hater”. This has always been about your attitude and your ignorance on subjects you don’t truly understand, putting your personal spin on things because of your own internal biases.

You’ve stated in your response that I’m guilty of harassment and running a smear campaign. I have to ask: What harassment? Pointing out your hypocrisy is not harassment. Informing other people of your true nature is not harassment. I’ve never used slurs or insults based on your identity. I’ve never doxxed you. I’ve never threatened to physically hurt you. Not liking someone is not harassment no matter how much it hurts your feelings.

If this was an actual smear campaign, why is it everything I’ve linked back to your blog still the same as when I first took the screencaps? If you consider sourced words with proper links a "smear campaign" that tells me you’re actually very afraid everything you’ve ever said coming back to bite you in the ass. This isn’t cruelty as you described. It’s pointing out all the holes in your arguments and letting your followers decide if they want to follow someone with such a judgmental view of the world.

“You don’t intend to make the world a better place by doing this, not in the slightest. No, instead you’ve just berated the “snowflake trigglypuff” for trying to keep their “safe space” intact, while painting that sentiment in the language of the social justice warrior you believe yourself to be rather than that of the crazy altright loser I believe (or at least hope) you’d find as repulsive as I do so that no one would clue in that that is in fact what you were doing.”

You really are projecting a lot.

Saying I’m co-opting the language of a social justice warrior? Suggesting I’m alt-right? You’re grasping at straws more than a choking sea turtle.

And calling yourself a “snowflake trigglypuff” even in jest? Who still uses edgy SJW terminology like this anymore? I think this says more about who you are than anything it could about me. I don’t need to reduce myself to dated insults like those. I can come up with far more effective wording to describe how callously ignorant you are.

“Clearly someone who thinks it’s in any way appropriate to tell someone, and I’m quoting mostly from memory as it’s been months, “I’m sure all those dead kids are glad you’re protecting your mental health” has NO sense of shame whatsoever. If I were to stoop to your level, I’d tell you that those same dead kids are probably really proud of you for harassing someone who has, at worst, made some tactless statements out of frustration.”

You are right about one thing, however. Those same “dead kids” don’t care about your mental health or about me calling you out. But this isn’t about those “dead kids”. It's about their families and friends who may still be alive. It’s about the other children who have been lucky enough to not been slaughtered. It’s about people who will suffer generational trauma and PTSD for the rest of their lives. It’s about the same people who may end up dying by their own hands because they can’t live in pain any longer. They’re the ones I’m concerned about.

The dead don’t care. The living do. The opposite of caring is not hatred. It’s indifference. And that’s why I’m speaking out against people like you who take the suffering of others and make it their platform to soliloquy about their first world hardships. So, to borrow a very old Tumblr-ism, I would check your privilege.

“I don’t believe for a second that you actually give two shits about the plight of the Palestinian people beyond some vague sense of "clout.”

Clout? Seriously? If I was interested in immaterial nonsense like that, do you think I’d be posting on Tumblr exclusively where things like “clout” don’t matter to anyone? No. I would be posting this everywhere to reach more people. The reason it’s only on Tumblr is because it’s where you primarily spend your time. It’s the only place you can be reached, where you can’t ignore me.

“I looked at your blog, its layout themed around the symbols of Palestinian liberation, and as far as I can tell it’s all just window dressing.”

And your poetry and posts are just soapboxes for you to puff yourself up or use as “cudgels”, as you say, to pester people into reading stories about your fan-made Pokémon region. Yet you want to accuse me of clout-chasing and using dead kids to bully you? Yeah. Okay. /s

Do you truly believe I’m doing this for attention? For some imaginary internet points to “win”? Win what exactly? What game do you believe we’re playing? There are no winners, only one loser talking out their ass.

Oh and as for this?

“Hell, with the vindictive nature of your blog, you’d think you'd’ve even had posts targeting other peoples who are at best trying to get on with their lives through the 24-hour news cycle of death and destruction or at worst actively supporting the deaths of innocents. (I still wouldn’t encourage such things, but it’d at least make sense given your general vibe).”

There’s nothing vindictive about cataloging these posts and making sure you can’t hide your judgmental nature behind that paper thin veneer of wholesomeness you try to fool people with. The reason I called you out specifically is because you’re a two-faced jackal. That’s the true core of my dislike of you: Presenting an image of niceness while hiding the vileness behind fluffy words and emotionally manipulative language to make people feel sorry for you.

You're not someone to support as an artist. Frankly, you're not a wholesome person either. You're judgmental, emotionally immature, and have a lot of issues, issues you couldn't even pay me to address. I don’t know what you need but it’s something well above my pay grade to diagnose.

And finally we’re going to close this disaster out by talking about your suspicions of my identity. I’m going to summarize because a lot of it is repetitive from earlier points or in the section itself.

You’ve identified me as “H” and for a short while believed I was someone called “A”. You believed that “A” was upset by you and took their frustration out on you, leading you to unfollow “A”. You later realized that wasn’t the case and are now referring to me as “H” (for Harasser). Clever.

I'm not “A” or “H” or any other letter of the alphabet. You’re just upset you don't know how else to address me because I’m smart enough to not leave so much of my personal details online. Whatever happened 4 years ago with whoever? That's not me. Try and not be so quick to assume before you start pointing fingers. You make yourself look paranoid. If you’ve got beef with other people, make sure you're addressing the right person at the least.

I already said multiple times I was a follower of yours and only called you out about the Palestinian stuff because I was appalled that someone I once saw as a good kind person morphed into a self-centered jackass who had no problem using a tragedy as a means to emotionally manipulate people into paying attention to them. If you don't believe me, that's on you. But if anyone uses this genocide as bait for their own little pity party, I'm not afraid to draw attention to it. And since you claimed to have known about the Palestinians for more than 20+ years, I’m holding you even more accountable to get it right and act gracefully.

“Maybe you’ve gone after more than just them, but these are the two I know of for certain. M told me directly, and I saw C’s post about getting an anon “warning” her about someone with an “anti-religion agenda”, and because I’m not a complete moron I could put two and two together because that’s the kind of bullshit religious people spread about atheists all the damn time.”

The only person talking about religion here is you. What I’m doing is pointing out how your animosity towards religion has given you a bias towards the Israel vs Palestine situation because you can’t see past the faith of people in that region. I merely pointed out your concerning behavior to your mutuals because “M” and “C” have the right to know your true character. Friends should not be complicit when one of them is acting poorly.

“Like I’ve said numerous times, I’d take a dozen progressive theists over one asshole atheist.”

Those same progressive theists? They want nothing to do with you. Not even other atheists would want you. You are the asshole atheist in this scenario because you are incapable of thinking critically and simply write off the whole genocide as religious zealots fighting over the Holy Land because God told them to. It always comes back to this. You keep making the genocide about martyrdom so it's easier to maintain your hatred of all things religion. “But you are no hero, nor am I a villain, and I would not be so gauche as to claim the reverse is true either. We’re just a couple of randos on the internet, one who has an unhealthy level of vitriol toward the until-recently clueless other.”

And finally, we come to the point where you try to appeal to my sense of empathy by a generic “we’re all people at the end of the day” sentimentality, going even so far as to say that you’d never claim I was the villain. You’re not going to placate me this way. Stop trying to minimize your actions and act like they are inconsequential. They’re the earmarks of a person with poor morale character. You asked what I hope to gain from doing this?

I want you to drop this façade and either do better or start being honest. You’re full of false sincerity and niceness, pretending to be the bigger person while also muttering your petty disdain for people who don’t think like you, like what you like, or share your exact beliefs. You hide it subtly in the way you write. You think you’re above reproach. You’re the judgmental rotten soul you see in everyone else.

The only reason you'll end up as a "Persona non grata" is because how you present yourself online will eventually catch up with you. At some point, everyone will grow tired of watching you spinning your wheels and gaining no traction anywhere. They will move on to something that's actually worth their time. But until then I will continue to warn others about you and show them your true personality. Take the advice you gave me: Fix yourself and do better or disappear into irrelevance and be forgotten.

PS:

“Whatever your goal was with that, it was your final mistake, because now I know exactly who you are.”

Your threat has no teeth. If you really knew who I was, you’d name me or you'd at least open up a conversation with me. But you won’t. You never will. You’ll continue to cower away while putting on a mask of confidence and arrogance, thinking you outsmarted me until the only one applauding you is yourself.

[thealyssaperrine]

A Year In Retrospect: Kodee Rants “THIS GABBIE HANNA FAN GOES TOO FAR!”

addressing ‘kodee rants’ video about me since drama channels nowadays cant seem to research things! 

Kodee starts off by listing what city I'm in, which honestly is odd because they themselves say its not relevant to the story and ask people to not bring it up if they cover the story. If its not relevant............why did YOU mention it? Kodee finds it necessary to squeeze in the drama surrounding Gabbie despite the fact that its barely relevant to the story. Jen and I first interacted with each other when I called her out for lying about one of Gabbie’s response videos. This however, is a completely separate situation from the one Kodee goes on to speak about.

(this tweet was about Cami running troll account, and Cami was the person who was on Alicia and Jen’s side.) At 2:41 Kodee makes multiple very loaded statements about the fandom as a whole, and about situations I personally have 0 part in. When Jen was falsely accused of SA’ing somebody, we believed the accuser. Why wouldn't we? How would that be any different from what Gabbie did to Jessi? We have 0 proof any which way on whether it was a false accusation. Why does Kodee expect Jen to get special treatment when it comes to such a serious claim? I personally can vouch that I reached out asking for proof, and never once accused Jen. 

We didn't just “believe them because we’re Gabbie Hanna fans and dislike Jen because she sides with Jessi”, we trusted but verified because its incredible harmful and traumatic to tell somebody they’re lying about such a serious claim. We LEARNED from Gabbie's mistakes, and we weren’t going to be making the same ones. 

The fact that this is included in a video “addressing” our situation is simply there to paint both me and the fandom in as negative a light as possible. How could you possible side with me after I affiliate myself with people like that? Except I didn't. That wasn't me.  I never once contacted Jen’s employers. What would I even gain from that? Everything I did was for two reasons. Originally, because Jen was lying. That has nothing to do with Gabbie, and everything to do with the fact that my autism causes justice sensitivity.  The second reason was because Jen used my intellectual property without paying for, or even ASKING for, the right to use it, while also disparaging it. You don’t have to like it, but you, as a self admitted trust fund baby, who works as a nurse, and is known as a Viner-- don’t get to use my work as a small creator without paying. It’s as simple as that. It’s less than a dollar.  Kodee including Gabbie’s texts at 3:12 is truly irrelevant, seeing as previously mentioned, I wasn't apart of the people involved in spreading that accusation against Jen.  Kodee FINALLY manages to get to the point FIVE MINUTES into the video. 

This is the one gripe that's not really necessary for me to point out, but I'm 100% NOT a micro-influencer. Fully playing semantics here, but the correct word would be nano-influencer, and even then, I wasn’t a nano-influencer until 2022 The main reason this is a problem from me is because Helloleesh tried to characterize me as a “public figure” when I was doxxed, saying that it was allowed. That it all public information because I was a public figure. I had 300-500 followers and 170 subscribers at the time. I was not a public figure, nor was I a micro influencer.  

Kodee stated around 5:55-6:00 that I was apart of the people harassing Jen, but lets not get it twisted! Jen was the one mocking abuse survivors while they were still ACTIVELY APART OF THEIR ABUSIVE SITUATIONS, doxxing the same abuse survivor during the same situation which put them at risk of their abuser finding their twitter, doxxing minors, harassing minors, sneaking into the discord server and collecting traumatic stories we would share in vent sessions together, constantly targeting and harassing us, and to this very year, still talking about me unprompted. 

keep in mind, publicly, I'm a Melanie Martinez stan. At this point, I'm simply just a ‘fan’ of Gabbie, she’s not my stan.  As proof of my harassment, Kodee include these two images:

I stand by this fully. Oh no!! Her kids might have a differing opinion than her!! Such harassment, so bullying, very very scary!

And this? I get this video was posted in 2021 and Trauma Queen didnt come out until 2022, but I had explain at least 10 days before Kodee posted their video that these are lyrics. Just an OUNCE of research, just a TEEEEENY TINY bit of effort, it might do them some good.

But none of this is mentioning that my harassment amounts to “2 tweets”, while jen has harassed me for years.  Kodee then goes on to talk about the cease and desist. Finally something I'd LOVE to speak about!!

For those who are unaware, a cease and desist LETTER is literally a professional piece of paper that says “hey! quit it!”. They have 0 legal standing, and they are NOT a legal document. I could take a piece of printer paper and write “stop!” with the words ‘cease and desist’ and legally, and it’d hold the same standing as any other cease and desist.  The only time a cease and desist is legal, is when you make it legal. If you involve the courts, or if its ordered by the courts-- of COURSE its a legal document. That is when a cease and desist LETTER turns into a cease and desist ORDER. But last I check, I am not a court, nor did I send Jen an ORDER such as Kodee’s video claims.

Next, lets talk about contract attachments! “Contract attachments are added to a contract after it has been drafted. In most cases, attachments don't change the original contract. Attachments may be known by different terms depending on your jurisdiction, such as the following: Schedule. Exhibit. Annex. Supplement. Appendix.“  “Attachments are different from addendums because they can be placed within the contract without changing the agreement itself, and they may also be referred to as annexes or appendices.“  

You don’t have to like it, but yes, Jen DID sign. She sent her signature as a contract attachment, which is an acceptable form of signature to a cease and desist letter.  Now, lets talk about my notary! People seem VERY confused on this and honestly.... I don’t get why? I was well aware of the legal ramifications of adding Jen’s signature to the cease and desist. A notary is a witness of the signing of important documents. Why wouldn’t I want somebody who’s aware of the laws in regard to signatures be a witness to what I was doing? Why wouldn’t I want a professional who’s seen the email exchange, who knows about what is or is not a legal document, and who knows about signatures-- to be a witness to everything that’s happening? Clearly everyone thinks I committed forgery, so why WOULDN’T I have someone professional witnessing what's happening?  The notary is there to confirm I'm not some jaded kid who wants revenge and is creating fake signatures to ruins someone's life. You know, the way they tried to paint it? The notary is also the reason I KNOW its not forgery, that, and my lawyer that told me as much.

Kodee then goes on to state as much as “its forgery, in my non lawyer opinion, because I have eyes and can read” Well....maybe you should be reading the legal definitions, no? 

“Under common law, forgery is a crime committed when a person creates or alters a legal instrument with the intent to defraud. False documents are frequently used to describe forged records, and counterfeit is used to describe forged money or currency. [Last updated in December of 2022 by the Wex Definitions Team]“ “Legal instrument is a legal term of art that is used for any formally executed written document that can be formally attributed to its author, records and formally expresses a legally enforceable act, process, or contractual duty, obligation, or right, and therefore evidences that act, process, or agreement.“

A cease-and-desist letter is a non-binding letter and does not have a legal effect. I did not alter a legal instrument. On top of this, there was no intent to defraud anyone.  Kodee then goes as far to say that my cease and desist was a “document”. This too is incorrect, seeing as a document in the eyes of the law is a legal instrument and a cease and desist does not fall under that.  Then, at 7:31, Kodee mistakes JEN’S EMAIL TO ME as me emailing Jen. 

“TO Alyssa Perrine”.

Kodee says “kind of creepy that you Alyssa, are acting like you know where Jen lives" and you’re right! It WAS super fucking creepy for JEN to say that about me, and to act like she knows where I live! And, you know what? It’s been the longest 10 business days of my life because I still haven’t gotten that actual paper document from her!

I did however get an apology from Jen for even doing this in the first place, saying she only did it because she had a trauma response to me sending the cease and desist.

Crazy how that implies I didn't actually break any laws, huh?

At 8:18 Kodee brings up Jen stating I “committed crimes for Gabbie”. This is Jen coping hard with the fact that I sent her a cease and desist for using my music. My music has nothing to do with Gabbie, and everything to do with Jen using it without paying for it.  On top of this, Jen states that “maybe Gabbie will finally know who I am” but the truth is, I had emailed Gabbie back in 2020 because Jen was sending me her and Gabbie's chat logs from the first time the two had ever spoken in 2014. In these emails Gabbie had, in detail, accounted her abuse to Jen because Jen tried to belittle Gabbie’s experience as a survivor.   The fact that Jen found it okay to disclose that information to one of Gabbie's fans when Gabbie had never been public about it before is genuinely despicable. That was never Jen’s story to tell, so yes, I got in contact with Gabbie.

In this same conversation with Jen, she said that she and Jessi had “napalm” on Gabbie. Gabbie told me she didn't know what Jen could possibly mean, and now it’s VERY BLATANTLY clear she was talking about the phone call. 

You know. The same phone call that Jessi said was so traumatic to experience that she had to leave social media the second Gabbie spoke about it? Yeah. Her and her friends were boasting about it to fans. Talking about ruining her career. That is the MOST calculated shit I have EVER heard.

And people got MAD when Gabbie said Jessi calculated her crying?? Of course she did. She could’ve easily have edited that out or put it on a black screen like Gabbie did. They were calling it napalm, what else would you call that? A coincidence? Them bragging about it is a coincidence and not calculated? What’s worse is that Gabbie not knowing what they could’ve had on her means that Gabbie truly thought she came to an understanding with Jessi back during the phone call. She didn’t know what they could’ve possibly meant, and instead of cutting Gabbie off or telling the truth back in 2020 when it happened: Jessi saved it and used it against her.

 Keep in mind, this was after Jessi harassed Gabbie into taking the phone call in the first place. This is something Kodee calls Gabbie out for around 3 minutes into the video, saying “all while Jessi is trying to deal with the family crisis. super considerate, huh? I hope you realized that was sarcasm.”

(from gabbie’s video on jessi)

  But for some reason, Jessi gets a pass to do the same thing? 

At 8:20 Kodee says that I “spam hacked” Jen’s email. Fathomably untrue. I signed Jen up to donald trumps email listings because it was a big meme at the time. However, I wasn’t the only person doing this. Fandom friend and jen’s new bestie Kayde was ALSO doing it, and was actually the other person jen doxxed in regards to the email spams in 2020. I don’t know what Kayde did with Jen’s email, but I know for a fact I didn’t “spam hack” them lmfao

At 8:25 Kodee admits that Jen posted my IP address and tries to say this “isn't doxxing because my city is public”. let's be REAL mother fucking clear here.  Albuquerque is a big city filled with 562,599 people. It takes 40 minutes to get from one side of town to the other. That ip address, when put into an “ip location look up” took you to FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM WHERE I LIVED. A place I visit almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

If you are going to look me DEAD IN THE FACE and say that isnt doxxing? You’re genuinely stupid. Not “im retorting to insults because I have no argument” stupid, but “you absolutely NEED to research and think before you speak because the words leaving your mouth contradict each other” stupid. 

Doxing is the act of revealing identifying information about someone online, such as their real name, home address, workplace, phone, financial, and other personal information. 

Not only did she dox my location, she doxed my ip, my email address, and all my social media’s that weren't linked to my public profiles. If your argument is seriously going to be “but, Alyssa! we already know you live in Albuquerque!” you have seriously lost the plot. you know my city, but you do NOT know my fucking NEIGHBORHOOD, which Jen revealed. 

At 8:41 kodee perpetuates Jen’s argument that my having a notary argument is irrelevant, but it begs the question. Did Jen sign the C&D, in which ME, MYSELF, AND I, do not need a notary? Or did I forge a signature in which case, yes I WOULD need a notary to act as my witness? You can’t have it both ways.

The answer is, none of them actually. I had a notary witness my TRANSFER of Jen’s signature to my paper for my side and only my side of the C&D. I had to make sure I had ALL of my facts straight when it came to signatures, cease and desists being a legal document, and what I'm then allowed to do WITH this piece of paper (because that's all our C&D was in this case. a virtual piece of paper). 

TW// SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

Kodee then goes on to talk about the Kez situation, but completely misses the point entirely. I wont be explaining it here since I did make a video on it but I will explain the hypocrisies.

Alicia was acting as if she was entitled to a response from Kez as Kez was actively in the middle of an attempt. Kez had asked Alicia for help before Kez’s partner had arrived home and took them to the hospital. While they were in the hospital, they didn't have their phone on them and were barely in a conscious state to even reply. Alicia went on to paint this as Kez “baiting suicide” and “manipulating her to guilt trip her”, which is utterly fucking disgusting. Kez deals with multiple mental health issues, but they’ve been VERY open about their struggles with their borderline personality disorder. Suicidality is something they’ve struggled with since age 15.  Alicia was upset that Kez “wouldn't tell her where she lived to call for help” but the reality was that Kez THOUGHT they responded by sending the flag (meaning the UK, and Alicia had her name) but Kez couldn’t elaborate because help had already arrived. To try to worm your way into somebody else’s attempts like that instead of just reaching out to their friends or accepting that she’s okay and you couldn’t be the one to help is just cruel and disgusting. Alicia made it all about herself, and went on to shame Kez for not talking to her about it.

Kodee says two things: “If your friend was having mental illness issues then that is their problem and not strangers on the internet. Do what you can for them as a friend” Yes, obviously. That was my entire point in the video. Alicia had no right to demand information from Kez when she was a stranger to them. But then Kodee goes on to say “But if they make their issues public then it is perfectly valid for people to have a public opinion about it“ Like...? No? Fuck that? You are not entitled to anybody’s mental health, especially a stranger. You don’t get to make triggering and hurtful statements under the guise of “but you did it publicly!” That is literally just an excuse to bully people. 

Kodee states that Jen doxxing Jerize wasn’t ACTUALLY doxxing because “they had their information public” but none of this addresses the fact that Jerize didn’t make their last name public until after they had turned 18, AFTER Jen had doxxed them. Jen also doxxed their Instagram and face, which Jerize did not have public. Kodee says its good that someone reached out to my dad on Jen’s behalf because “he should know I broke the law” but like.....who...who do you think helped pay for the lawyer and notary? Why do people think I joke about a “Lawyer Fund”? It’s definitely NOT because I kept things hidden from my parents.  I never have and never will understand the notion that I'm being secretive about what I'm doing. why would I? I've done nothing wrong. 

At 12:46 Kodee says they’re “not sure if Skia was getting suspended because of Jen”, but Skia didn’t get suspended until after jen made posts to report her account. 

It’s clear we’re blaming Jen because Jen got her account suspended. The same way Jen blames us when we got her locked out of her account for breaking TOS 

Kodee then tried to reupload my videos to a google drive to “not give me a view” so obviously I copyrighted the clips. This all started because Jen used my music without permission and now they try to use my video without permission. Are any of us actually surprised? But hey, at least YouTube marks any all engagement as good engagement so my channel got a boost from them doing that! 

At 13:27 Kodee references Jen’s tweet talking about how ‘Alyssa’ isn't my name, because my parents intentions were to name my after their wet nurse named Alissa (pronounced Alicia, ironically). The only reason Jen is talking about this is because she’ll randomly stalk my twitter (as she still does to this very day) and mischaracterize the odd facts I'll post about myself for my friends to read. They also reference me not having a job. No, I don’t. I’m fucking disabled, dude. The fact that a god damn nurse was perpetuating this gross negative stereotype about “needing to work and if you don’t you’re a lazy neet” when DISABLED. PEOPLE. EXIST. Not everyone can physically get a job! I have a form of scoliosis and all the jobs that are available to me interfere with my disability! The fact that Kodee includes this is absolutely abhorrent.  Kodee includes Jen talking about Skia’s messages. Yes, Skia used to disagree with the things Gabbie said in the phone call and thought that Gabbie could be malicious. Over time however, after having time to process everything and knowing everything we were told-- Skia no longer believes with what she said here. 

In fact, Skia felt very manipulated by the way Jen was speaking about her abusive situation, which is what these blurred messages were, and is the reason Jen was asking Skia about her life.

In Jen’s TikTok which Kodee included in their video, Jen calls me transgender. I’m not trans, however, I’m neurogender and identify as gender non-conforming under the nonbinary umbrella. I just want to say, it’s very easy to confuse this because i do use nonbinary as an umbrella label, so most would assume I'm just trans.  Jen also claimed I do everything for Gabbie, but as previously stated, no. I do everything I do because I fucking HATE injustice, and I HATE liars. 

The fact of the matter is that Jen wasn’t involved either. She butts her way into Gabbie's blackmail situation (because Curtis DID blackmail Gabbie) and Jen went out of her way to DM CURTIS, A FUCKING RAPIST, TO DISPROVE GABBIE. The same man who LIED about raping Jessi, is supposedly the beacon of truth when it comes to Gabbie?  It’s disgusting. It’s outright just plain fucking disguising. There’s 0 excuse for talking to a rapist (END SENTENCE!!!) let alone after you publicly shame and berate someone for doing the same thing while actively being blackmailed. That's disgusting, and hypocritical, and fucking wrong.  Jen says “I would never send a legal document like this” and that's true! Because a cease and desist is not a legal document! If I sound like I keep having to repeat myself with that, then welcome to the past three years of my life. I don’t know what’s so hard to grasp about that for these people. Also, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s only illegal to cold email people for offers. Like, buying things. It’s not illegal to sign people up for email listings, especially when your email is publicly listed on your account. All in all, that was Kodee’s video about me and thus, my response. I hope this cleared some things up, and I’m sorry if this was long. It’s been on my mind since the day it was created but I wasn’t sure quite how to respond.  Thank you for reading! Bye.

[lilcrespin]

Cultural Shock and Trauma PART 2

Before I start diving into the part 2 of cultural shock and Trauma, I would like to say I am the original creator of this blog and all of these poems, memos, monologues, and quotes. IF I mention or use any other artist, I will sincerely give them credit, As of right now I have not and these are all my own, lil crespin a sensitive poet.

Anyways, So cultural shock and trauma, like I mention in part 2. Its like a canyon that's carved so deep into the body mind and soul. I truly believe we all have this one way or another. Unfortunately mine, the Trauma and cultural shock is carved deeply. I wonder why and how I am here. Out of my own situation and suicidal thoughts. I believe some sort of miracle is keeping me alive and sane. Anyways like I said about trauma, its a feeling that lingers in the background and lingers right in-front of you. To explain I feel dishearten and lonely, like how water Is eager to flow into any kind of shape, The scars and pain shaped like a canyon or river onto my body mind and soul, only this time with no water. Water Is what keeps all things alive here in my monolouge and to put into perspective. like an analogy, I am comparing how water is my sanity and peace of mind, but I am also stating that I have no water. So I am in turmoil with my own cultural shock and trauma. Comparing how a canyon thats carves the earth so deep. The emptiness feeling is scary but trauma and cultural shock has this side where I myself and maybe others realized that Its also eagerness to know why and spend a lot of time trying to fix it, Causing a more of a Traumatic effect. Knowing that it's an issues that can never go away. like depression and anxiety. most of the time trauma and cultural shock being so eager to trying to fix it, it makes it can or cannot make it worse. when I am writing, alone and outside of home. I say this to compare how eager I am to fill in that void like water. I know I am repeating the analogy of canyon and waterless river a lot because it really does fit the description of trauma and cultural shock very well. I feel naturally motivated and pushed to fix the trauma and like how water flows into a river, except this time there's no WATER. I notice I, family, friends and coworkers. Day by day this double edge sword really does more harm than good. The eager that hurts, Sadly enough the countless times I am trying to forget about this scar of mine it is a sad effort, only because its permanitly there. like the disturb feeling I get when I realized I am trying to heal my trauma. Even in attempting to heal it, it is still a heart breaking cultural shock feeling. This feeling I believe comes from how shocking and impactful life can be. The ultimatum that I believe, is that Truama and cultural shock can really blind side us. So to my dearest readers who have read this much. I lil crespin sincerely hope this monologue helped you or sort of peace of mind. This extra note is to remind you help and peace of mind can be found through any kind of positive treatment. what helped me the most is my love and passion for poetry, music and the arts. I consider this part 2 a heartfelt poem. Poetically explaining the worries of trauma, through abstract meaningful analogies. Thank you once again. Take care love lil crespin.