I keep thinking about Durge, who, even after defying Bhaal, is never truly free from their father's legacy.
Because yes, the Urge is gone, the cursed blood of Bhaal doesn't call to them anymore. But body remembers, even if mind doesn't. Body knows what it did, it knows what it was created for. It's instinctual, bone-deep reflexes of a person raised to be the perfect murderer. It's little twitches and how easily opponents fall: foes and former allies alike.
It's small glimpses of the past, because mind doesn't remember, but the body DOES. It's the eerie familiarity of darkest corners of Baldur's Gate, it's people recognizing Durge on the streets, people they don't remember but who remember THEM.
It's the feeling of being haunted by your own self.
It's the body of Ketheric, the bloody mess left of Orin, Gortash's lifeless frame. It's the knowledge you're the last one, what this tragic story of conquer started with you and ends with you.
It's the feeling of emptiness where bubbling joy once was, the blood on the blade what brings no feelings. It's being charming, or kind, or honest, or gentle, or honorable, but at the end of the day still being the best in the art of murder - and who are they if not Bhaal's unholy blade?
Godless and fatherless, struggling to reimagine themselves.
Especially when memories come; they never return fully, never in the whole picture. But glimpses, the shards of existence what was once theirs cut deeper than any ritual blade would.
I keep thinking about Durge weighted down by the grief of the world, guilt of the world.
Alone: without a god, a father, a sister, a partner (Gortash, bc these two were absolutely insane for each other).
Alone and with whole life ahead; lost and confused and with hands bloodied.
Hero, people call them. They don't feel like a hero.
232 notes
·
View notes
hey suzanne, you probably aren’t reading this, but if you are I just wanted to ask if you could write a book about every victor of the hunger games, with descriptions of their lives, how they won, and what happened to them after that, because I am actually frothing at the mouth wanting to know more about mags flanagan and finnick odair and johanna mason and beetee latier and wiress and the morphlings and enobaria and chaff and even cashmere and gloss. I want to know everything about these people and how they survived such brutal circumstances, please pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseprettyplease can you write something like this for us suzanne???
31 notes
·
View notes
Was tagged by @oceancamp to post my current five favorite songs! (They should invent a stages-of-grief-esque model that encompasses and accurately describes both types of anguish I had to go through making this list - the one of limiting myself to only five songs, and the one of trying to put as little videogame music on here as possible so that I don't end up looking like an absolute goddamn geek, which... I am... Oh well!)
Thank you so much for tagging me - here are the songs!
Heaven Pierce Her - War Without Reason
Tatsuro Yamashita - Love Space
This specific arrangement of Death And Republic + Meet Again
Winger - Junkyard Dog (Tears On Stone)
The Protomen - Light Up The Night
Is it courtesy to tag other people after you've been tagged in a post like this? If that's the case, I'll tag @spiralled-fury, @solradguy, @swamppossum, @five-by-five, @northstarring, @ineedmoredragons and @tbonechessor!
20 notes
·
View notes
c.w: fem pronouns
Just watched the new Hunger Games movie and I need to slobber on some district!Bakugou for a while! 😫😫
Like imagine you're both there for the Reaping and a random boy's name is called and both your shoulders drop just a bit because at it's not Bakugou. However, your name is called for the female tribute and Bakugou immediately volunteers. He can't step in for you since there has to be a female tribute, so he steps in as the male tribute so he can at least protect you during the games, even if that means killing or to be killed 😫😫
FUCKKCKCKCKKKKKKKKK and you're just bawling as he walks up to the stand, half out of sadness half out of rage; he finally, finally escaped the games (this being his last reaping), yet here he is, just offering himself up on a silver platter all because of you.
You can't say you don't love him even more for it, are even a little relieved, but... now you're both gonna die and you're not sure who to blame. Bakugo trades places with the random boy (who practically runs off stage) and goes in to comfort you, tell you it's all gonna be okay as the peacekeepers start leading you away, but instead of accepting the gesture, I can imagine you swat him off, angry because he didn't just save himself.
(It doesn't get any easier as time goes on—in waiting for your turn to say goodbye to your family, you can hear his mother berate him for being weak and softhearted, his father is practically nonverbal with tears, disowning him unless he's able to make it home. In boarding the train to the capital, your district mentors tsk at him for "choosing" a girl over a lifetime of freedom, and even the news can't seem to stop bringing up the fact he volunteered only after you were picked.
It makes Bakugo mad, furious even, and more determined to win given how they underestimate him... but it's not like that protects you along with him.)
and even though he never brings those moments up to you once they pass (and you forgive him enough to at least speak to him), there's still these question of what your strategy is going to be. Do you play up the fact that you're a couple, or do you pretend that you don't know one another (except at night, when you can finally sneak into each other's rooms without anyone noticing)? Do you team up in the games as soon as possible and do the whole thing together, or see how far you get alone???????????????
UGH, JUST.... WHY WOULD U DO THIS BAKUGO ????????!!!!!!! we know he gets you both out though
28 notes
·
View notes