#i wanted to pull for kafka also but i think i have two pretty good nihility characters already in the form of silver wolf and sampo

[nohkalikai]

see i wanna pull for blade bcs hot traumatized character w decent straightforward kit and spider lilies but i wanna pull for imbibitor lunae bcs i think his kit is very cool.

[everestica]

How some of my favorite characters celebrate your birthday in honor of my birthday today! 

 

Furina

So Excited, she loves decorating for it and trying to find a really good gift for you. Luckily for her being the past Archon has its perks and she can basically go anywhere and get anything, though it might be hard avoiding you the whole day so she will say she's sick and then throw a huge party for you and by huge I mean just the two of you! Even so she always somehow knows what you like and what one of the best gifts to get you is.

Dazai Osamu

 Loves when it’s your birthday, and loves the birthday pranks he can pull at you when you're at the agency. But no worries he will always have a surprise towards the end of the day, you always end up having 2 kinda parties, one at the agency, and one when you get home with Dazai. He’s a smart man and he can basically read your mind sometimes and always knows the perfect gift to get you, even if you never mention it to him. 

Tachihara Michizou

He’s normally pretty busy on your birthday but as soon as he gets home he would love to just have some one on one time so that he can really celebrate you, probably has things that he got for you over the year tucked away in his closet, and always ends up having a bunch of stuff that he thinks you’ll like! At least tries to remember what you like to do/what you like to eat for desserts and stuff on your birthday so it will be more of a surprise for you when you see it sitting on the table.

Blade 

Says he hates birthdays and any sort of celebration when it comes to anybody else but will celebrate it behind closed doors. All those times that Kafka and Silverwolf go shopping in different places, he is too, but he’s just getting small things that will end up being for some sort of holiday, but by the time it is christmas or your birthday he always has quite a few little things so he tries to separate them evenly between the holidays, especially if your birthday is close to the holidays! If Kafka and Silverwolf ever find out he’ll never hear the end of it. (And he always says he never has a favorite, we all know that’s a lie) 

Firefly (Penacony Spoilers!!) 

THIS GIRL!<33333 I love her so much if you can’t tell. Anyway, She doesn't come from a lot and doesn’t have a lot, so instead she celebrates your birthday by taking you around Penacony and taking you to her special spot where you guys just talk for hours. She prefers more quality time when it comes to showing her love anyway, so it’s a win win. Though she will have a small dessert and some small gifts for your birthday, She gets things that mean a lot to you or you have mentioned, though most of your gifts are also symbols of dates, or when you met. 

Lilia (In honor of him saying happy birthday to me this year) 

Lilia has celebrated a lot of birthdays in his life, but yours is always a little different. Of course he has to start the day by scaring you in some way, he wouldn’t be Lilia if he didn’t! Diasomnia by this point has already all said Happy Birthday by this point. Another person who has collected things throughout the year and likes to give them to you, some you might not know what they are and when you do figure it out it may or may not be like 200 years older than you, it is fun to see what you end up getting for your birthday though! 

Ruggie 

It’s more or less really just a gift from Leona with him, but this is also the only time he will share his food with you! He also has experience in the kitchen so he is able to basically make anything that you would want to eat for your birthday, so don’t be surprised if when you get back to your dorm there's a little cake or something sitting on your table and him sitting next to it, covered in flour. His gifts though, again will be smaller things that he probably collected, only a couple things will actually be money bought and it’s leona’s money, but it’s the thought that counts with him.

Luke Pearce 

Another one who loves your birthday, and also, Like Firefly, likes more quality time when celebrating. So instead, he loves traveling and will let you pick the place you go and you’ll have a whole trip planned for your birthday or a couple days later! When it comes to actual gifts he will find things on the trip that he thinks that you’ll really like from past conversations. You once mentioned that you liked snowglobes like 7 months ago? Somehow he remembers that and now you have a cute little snowglobe from wherever you traveled too! 

♫ - Please if you are going to repost any of my works anywhere else, ask permission first! There will be almost a 100% chance that I will say yes as long as you just ask and give credit! Thank you for your understanding!

[sinsmockingbird]

Five threesome pairs I want to be apart of. They'll be listed from the pair I want to be in between the most of, to the I still want to be in between them but not aching for it. For @sea-lanterns.

✧ GENSHIN IMPACT

1.) Raiden Ei & Yae Miko. I love these two, I love the ship (for the most part) and love their dynamic. I just know being in bed with them both is fucking crazy, and I want to experience that. Miko teasing the hell outta me and Ei, while the Archon is just getting a sweet tooth off me.

2.) Beidou & Ningguang. How can I not want to be with these two!? Lesbians, I love them, I want to witness their banter in bed while they pleasure me. You know Beidou is more rough and sloppy while Ningguang is slow and precise (great with her tongue).

3.) Arlecchino & Furina. Yes, a more toxic pairing with pretty dead dove themes, as deemed by the fandom. I don't fully ship them, but I just want to ruin Furina with Arlecchino. I want us both to make her cry and beg from our teasing, we'd be good cop bad cop.

4.) Ningguang & Ganyu. I'm sorry, but Ningguang has made it up here twice, because fucks sake I want her. I want these two to be slow and gentle with me, particularly after a hard day. We can take a warm bath and then after have loving sex.

5.) Shenhe & Yelan. Being tied up by Yelan and just having Shenhe all over me is.... yeah. I'm not too into Yelan, but goddammit, I am very into Shenhe.

✧ HONKAI STAR RAIL

1.) Black Swan & Acheron. The only reason this is number one is from that YouTube video. The two at, 2, were originally here, but it's changed. I want to be fucked hard by Acheron and become traumatized with Black Swan. I'll be the one to bring these two back together.

2.) Kafka & Himeko. I don't think much has to be said as to why, I mean... the chemistry between these two and the obvious history. Plus I want Kafka to ruin my pussy while Himeko is there comforting me, and allowing me to suck on her boobs. Best therapy fuck, right here.

3.) Stelle & Firefly. Let me please dominate and tease these two!! Oh my god I want to make Stelle squirm while I jerk their cock off and make sure she gets to the point of release before stopping. Then making Firefly a flushed mess while she watches, touching herself until I go between her legs-!!! God I want them.

4.) Jingliu & Yukong. My tragic old yuri women. Deranged Jingliu fucking me hard and in heat Yukong- yes I want to be bred and knocked up. I don't want to leave that bed until I'm filled with their cum, okay!! Plus, they both just need love.

5.) Serval & Natasha. This is a rare pair between two old women I love so much. We need Natasha to heal Serval's broken heart, the one Cocolia left her with, she is a doctor after all. And if getting into bed with them will start that? Then 100% we're doing that.

✧ PATH TO NOWHERE

1.) Zoya & Angell. After that fanart I saw with them both, and that thirst I wrote as well, I've never wanted to be between two women more. I want them to try and stake claim on me, fighting over me even as they fuck me dumb. I don't care how many bites and scratches I have on my body after.

2.) Shalom & Rahu. I want Rahu fucking me raw, like a dog in heat, while Shalom watches and praises us both. I also want to participate in endlessly teasing Rahu and making her unable to cum until Shalom gives her permission. It's a coin flip with them both for me.

3.) Deren & Raven. Give me these two creative ladies and let me pull them into bed with me. Just knowing Raven would be very high energy with a low energy Deren is amusing, but it works. Raven is doing most of the work, not that she minds, while I lazily jerk Deren off. It's fucking heaven.

4.) Cabernet & Kelvin. Intimidated but aroused Kelvin, having her thighs pinned down on the bed with Cabernet eating her out. Then I'm on the side, teasing her nipples and marking her neck, praising her. I want it.

5.) Tetra & Pricilla. These two would be beyond teasing in bed, and you know what, I'd take it all. I want to their prized gem that they worship and love.

[goodluckclove]

I'm having a lot of fun talking with people about why they struggle in their writing, and I figure I'd share a little bit about what would keep me from writing. It's especially relevant given how soon Blind Trust is coming out - and, like I said, if you're willing to be real to me I'll be real right back.

I'll put it under a read more, as I've had the amount of alcohol that it takes me to be extra loose - meaning half of one canned cocktail. And I don't want to freak anyone out who doesn't want to see me feel a little more angsty than I tend to be online. But as I said before, I want to be honest about the craft as much as I urge others to be.

Here we goooo. Say goodbye to proper capitalization babies, Dad's getting funky.

so i started writing when i was twelve years old. i wrote carnation, a 10k word zombie novella about thinly-veiled representations of me and my two best friends at the time fighting zombies. it wasn't very good. i never wrote anything before. i enjoyed it though, so i proceeded to keep writing, near-constantly for the next fifteen years.

here's the thing, though, and it's something i don't see a lot of elder writers talk about. probably because it's not a super pleasant thing to hear, but i'm pretty sure i could pull it off.

uh, my name is clove gardener. i'm twenty-seven years old now. and i do not think i'm that good of a writer.

i don't think i'm bad. i mean, i've been published. i've worked as a copywriter and a ghostwriter. i've written for work for a few years now, so - like - objectively it must be passable. i don't hate my writing. i think it's accessible, which is cool. but if you were to ask me hey do you think you're a good writer? i would skirt around the question without answering directly until i could figure out a way to change the subject.

at this point i don't think that's going to go away. the improvement, though, has been that i barely think about that anymore. it's like there's a little dipshit in the back of my head, and occasionally he will hiss-whisper this is shit what are you doing until I find a way to shut him up.

i kind of feel like that's just the thing that happens when you're a writer. it's the camp i'd rather be in, at least. because the alternative is that i'm a really good writer who might consider themselves capable to claim authority and tell you how to do things i actually know nothing about. i'd rather have doubt. maybe less than what i have now, but still.

writers, i think, overlap with theater kids in the sense of being dramatic little piss babies. i am proud to say that i am significantly less of a piss baby than i potentially could be, especially considering that i'm in writing and theater. but you're bound to be a little dramatic at some point.

i think in the six-ish months since i've started blind trust, i've had maybe two creative existential crises. that's pretty good. that's reasonable. and they were not too unproductive either. i've learned that you can feel whiny and pitying and scared and self-loathing, and still do the thing.

i don't think you should publish your book. cool, ryan (i named my inner dipshit ryan). i'm doing it anyway.

nobody actually wants to pay money for it. yeah, ryan. maybe.

you're a terrible writer. i like it, though. i want to see how it ends. so let's keep going.

if you're wanting to publish/self-publish, and you think you don't have a chance because you aren't a beacon of self-assurance and confidence - guess what, buddy, i don't think many of the greats were. it's almost a stereotype i've seen of famous writers also being angsty weirdos who crumble into despair because the apple they ate was slightly too mealy (this is based on nothing but i can see it happening to kafka). if you think you can't be a writer because you aren't like me - friend, colleague, son, daughter, child, we are both angsty weirdos and that's okay.

last week i sobbed because riley showed me a video where a kiwi bird was sad and we had to spend the rest of the night watching videos of kiwi birds before donating to a kiwi bird charity. i make one phone call to the doctor and i have to lie down for the rest of the day. i am kind, i am fun, i am funny, and i am also like three bad dice rolls away from a breakdown. you can be both of those things. i have nuance.

i'm fine, by the way. it's been a good day. i'm just stressed about publishing because the thought of asking people to pay Human Currency for my work makes me deeply uncomfortable. but we're going to fucking deal with that, aren't we, ryan?

i don't know if this is unprofessional to reveal, but if it convinces one person to pursue a life in writing even though they sometimes take a trip to the Panic Zone, fuck it. i'm fine, you're fine, we're all going to be fine.

we should name our inner dipshits. drop your dipshit names below. ryan is your classic little goblin, but he's dressed like an e-boy. i think he vapes. i hate him.

[tranquilpetrichor]

zb1 as honkai: star rail players

— may this journey lead us starward.

synopsis: you end up getting the zb1 boys to play the popular hoyoverse space fantasy rpg called honkai: star rail, and this is how it goes...

genre: headcanon, fluff, crack

wc: 944

warnings: mentions of video game deaths, cursing, there may be unfamiliar video game terms

a/n: haha please lemme summon all the zerose that play this game. very self-indulgent headcanon. i actually have not played this for a couple weeks because college = busy so... yeah.

taglist: @restlessmaknae

sung hanbin

he now thinks it would be a fun idea to have the members play video games like this for content so there you go

i can see him looking at bronya and thinking "she's a great leader" because honestly so true

he starts off with a fairly standard team composition (shielder, healer, support, dps) because you know less is more

likes the story, finishes it fairly quickly

thinks the feature where characters text you is cute

gets really happy whenever you use his support character

kim jiwoong

absolutely confused as hell and really, you can't blame him

"wait, why i can't jump?"

you spend a bit of time explaining the turn-based combat stuff to him and now he does get it... sorta

doesn't play too much but sometimes does it on a free day

pulls for characters he finds pretty (so valid)

and that's how he ended up with luocha, imbibitor lunae, jing yuan and kafka

has decent luck too

zhang hao

plays with chinese dub, chinese dialogue text

pulls for as many characters from the xianzhou luofu as he can

a lore enjoyer, probably excitedly talking about his favorite parts with you

probably got sucked into all the side quests

busy testing out the simulated universe, enjoying every second of it

has the ost samudrartha on blast, he'd love to cover the song one day

having a field day with any lore-heavy updates

seok matthew

he probably tried memory of chaos with f2p characters "because he was bored" and already did it w cracked as hell 5 stars

i can see him having a bunch of the standard banner characters from losing the 50/50s

he prob saw welt and said “haraboji" which means grandpa. if y'all know that joke i love you.

curses a lot if he dies

if something actually ends up being too hard for you to beat he gladly tries to help you (he's sweet like that)

named the trailblazer (main character) woohyun

also loves exploration and just running around the map even if he can't find everything

finds it fun in his free time

kim taerae

plays it casually (because he’s probably already too dedicated to valorant or something to pick up another game)

yk i think he would be a fan of the music, this game has a very good ost

in the parlor car of the express there’s a phonograph and one of the songs you can play on there is called “take the journey”, it’s this acoustic guitar song with soothing vocals

if that’s not taerae, idk what is

as a music lover, he's probably listening to the whole ost for this game

a very proud serval main (no did you see that pic of him with the electric guitar on his birthday? i'm sure he can appreciate a fellow guitarist)

thinks it's funny that gepard uses serval's guitar case as a weapon

probably builds at least two good teams

and complains when realizing he didn't get that many materials from beating the calyxes (same)

ricky

plays with chinese dub, english text

lazy af, turned on auto battle feature we stan

plays maybe twice per week

dialogue skipper

yk this man is buying whatever the equivalent of the battle pass is for this game

he can and will whale for the characters he wants (and this man already has better 50/50 luck than you, for sure)

probably doesn't give a shit about meta when deciding to pull on banners even though because oh wow that character is cool

actually pulls on the lightcone banner (because he can)

sees asta and her constant purchases and goes yep that's relatable

he jokingly tries to name the trailblazer something like youngandrich

kim gyuvin

sometimes starts leveling up relics randomly not giving a crap about stats even though he probably should

"it's a 5 star one and the correct mainstat, so here we go!"

he shows you relics leveled all the way with absolutely shit substats just to troll and annoy you

another proud dialogue skipper

but when the trailblazer speaks, guyvin picks all the funny and wacky dialogue options

lets your support character do all the work for him

probably let excess exp accumulate until he finally does his equilibrium trial or whatever

thinks it would be funny to main sampo or qingque. so that's exactly what he does

says fuck it we ball and puts 4 dps characters on one team

randomly says character voice lines like "HELP ME MR. SVAROG" and you're just like "please shut up"

probably named the trailblazer eumppappa

park gunwook

the most likely to enjoy the game imo

also ends up getting good at it (because he’s talented and good at learning new things)

doesn’t like to auto battle, actually enjoys grinding battles

started laughing at you because he got gepard for his beginner pulls and you don’t even have him yet (but you laughed when he lost his 50/50 to himeko of all people so you’re even.)

has a decent amount of characters

you give him so many credits because you keep using his gepard

to return the favor, he uses your characters occasionally, mostly seele.

he likes putting shielders and healers as support characters because "some people need to be able to not die"

easily finds the chests, is a completionist

always updated and knows when new redeem codes are out

han yujin

very intently focused on the game, you find it hilarious

but since our maknae is very dedicated, you’re quite surprised at his trailblaze level..

“yujin, slow down, you’ve been playing for what, two days?"

he’s probably already reached somewhere around trailblaze level 25 already

truly a yanqing enjoyer, he likes everything about him and sees a bit of himself as yanqing is also young and dedicated to his particular craft (yes i wish i had him on my account shut up!)

sulks whenever he loses a 50/50

ngl i imagine ricky probably buys some stuff in-game for him

[fictionfixations]

if i had a nickels for every brown-haired fem-presenting protagonist in a mobile game, id have two nickels. also i cant think of any other rn so there might be more (that ive played). also can i just say the visuals are very unique (the surroundings i mean)? like like its. i dont know how to explain it idk this stuff

(this is other protag im referring to. this is mystic messenger. i dont have a better img unlocked so uh. also hi if youve seen my recent mysme posts, i got the good ending :D)

clearly it wants you to explore so i was like 'haha what if ii dont want to'

but like oh

'gosh its just a branch' why did that actually make me jump im crying i just saw something while we were walking and was like 'huh?' and then it cracked when we stepped on it and it startled me i

voiced jumpscare (they(bc idk who tf this is) say 'do not worry' but i pressed past it so ermm oops)

are these guys dateable i know literally nothing about this game im going in blind (which is a first for hoyo games lOl. with the exception of honkai impact since that was my first hoyo game actually.)

his voice is hot. also im playing in jp. idk if theres like some voiced language that is a league above the others, or if youre meant to listen to it in like idk the og language, im just more familiar with hearing jp cause im an anime person

why do i feel like the white doctor person is a villain it honestly reminded me a lot of kafka in hsr's intro (just vibes though..? also vague stuff that probably refers to the future)

also maybe because its the latest actual like 2d sort of visual novel i saw was ddlc, but our protag reminds me a lot of monika. visually i mean. even the facial expressions

oh fuck it kicked me out of the game nOO PLEASE I WANT TO GET INTO IT SEEMS INTERESTING AND I LIKE DETECTIVE LAW SHIT

the pulling animation is pretty but uh. the going through the cards are very bright like the entire screen goes white oh my god this is a bad game to play at 4 am o w oh 💀

i mean like. i dont mind. i play way too many games that arent english voiced to be mad about actually reading

Oh shit it quit me out again WHYYY PLEASEEE

happy that the investigating the surroundings part has like a hint button that highlights what it wants you to find

i dont think anything like that is in danganronpa. or at least v3? i played through it and remember getting stuck on i think it was the 5th trial? dont wanna spoil so ill keep it vague. i got stuck in the investigation portion because i missed that you could click on the sleeve of the jacket (i had to google because my dumbass didnt even think about looking at it 😭)

anyway uhhhhhh

i might make more posts on this? idk. i dont know anything about the story except what ive gone through so far and im starting to get a headache cause words so er im gonna stop here

[crguang]

did you see the 2.5 banner leaks? I am actually crying, they came out like a week ago, but I’m not sure if you pay a ton of attention. apparently 2.5 first half is supposed to be Feixiao, Robin, Kafka, and Black Swan. I haven’t finished playing the other quests (idk what they’re called), the genius society one, the belebog one, and the new Luofu one so I don’t really have an opinion on any of the characters, Feixiao is pretty cool, and I like her design, but that’s abt it. I should also get a Jiaoqiu for my Acheron, but I have 75 pulls exactly and I need Kafka so bad, I’m actually going to cry if I lose my 50/50. I would do anything for her.

Even tho I should get a black swan, for my Acheron bc they deserve to be together, but…I’m not in love w her, like I can acknowledge that she is hot, like extremely hot like I will stop to admire her, her voice is so sexy, but I’m not giggling and kicking my feet. Actually that’s the cause for most women what’s a man…but we don’t need to get into my sexuality crisis rn.

I also should probably get a Robin, but I should’ve pulled for ruan mei, and I used my guaranteed on firefly, who I didn’t rlly need, since I have Acheron. Hggsbsbbd all my worries will be resolved whenever I get Kafka. Or smth, idk at least I can brute force my way thru Genshin, but now I actually have to think. I MISS HER PLS COME BACK KAFKA

-🌠

sorry… haha, sorry. um. why would there be four 5 star characters in one half of the banner…? i saw the leaks when they came out i just assumed that feixiao would be running with one of the three on that list (i’m expecting black swan because she was rumoured to rerun with jiaoqiu and it ended up being sparkle instead). why would they put 4 characters, two who are necessary for the DoT team and two necessary for a FuA team, TOGETHER? the robin-topaz-ruan mei-firefly banner run was nightmarish enough like i’m not believing anything until we get it confirmed because i’ll actually lose my mind. i pulled for jiaoqiu cause i was guaranteed and he’s a great unit for both DoT and acheron, and planned to pull swan + lc afterwards so do not tell me that pink bitch is coming back at the same time i will TWEAK.

the good thing about acheron is that you don’t really neeeeeed 5* supports because she’s a tank on her own but it definitely helps and jiaoqiu + swan are her best supports (ignoring you saying you’re not in love wth her bc i will not accept blasphemy🙅🏾‍♂️) if you have firefly then yeah ruan mei works better with her and since u don’t have her, robin is diverse enough to be worth pulling if you need a good support even if she works better in FuA teams. i would say to focus on the kind of team you want, since you’re getting kafka and will play DoT, swan is like the best unit for her rn (AND she works with acheron, see how great my wife is) but there’s always f2p options like guinaifen and sampo.

team composition is exhausting im really hoping those leaks are false i’ll take literally anyone over kafswan in the same patch because i have 30 pulls and a dream rn and if i dont get them both i will end my life

[idyllic-affections]

Hi so i was able to get some time to myself and there are a lot of things i wanna say

1. I GOT IMBIBITOR LUNAE ON FIRST PULL! HE IS MY PRIDE AND JOY AND IM SO FLIPPING HAPPY

2. Also i am in love with your snippets of Ex fatui agent reader x collei. I am so glad i gave you the idea as i knew you can make it as amazing as always! Although, i have one question for the reader, what in teyvat’s name cause them to be Dottore’s assistant?? Like why are they still working with him if all they’re getting is abuse and all??? The only thing i can think of is maybe the paycheck is really really good but is it really worth all that abuse????

3. Also ALSO while i would love for them to just punch scara in the face back. Realistically, they are both very traumatized people who are in very bad situation that they sadly can not escape. So i personally see them just glare at them and calmly say that they are a brat and please calm down. Like in a tone that you use when you are tired with everything that has been culminating for a long time and is just an inch away on going batshit

I will be eagerly waiting for the full fic to come out but ofc take your time and remember to take care of yourself every now and then! Hope you have a good day/night!

- 🐱 Anon

HELLO MY BELOVED ANON WITH SOME OF THE MOST WONDERFUL BRAINROTS 💗💘💖💕🫶💖🫶💕💘💕💗

THAT IS SO AWESOME i think im going to pull for him tbh... he was a lot of fun in his character trial and i never did end up getting kafka, so i think i'm more likely to get him if i do pull <33 no idea what the lore behind this man is but that's okay. he's pretty and his playstyle is fun. i'm now at a high enough level to continue the main trailblaze missions so maybe i'll find out the lore soon!

THIS. this is such a good question and i promise it will be explored in detail in the fic, but to satiate some of your curiosity... [name] sticks around for two main reasons: (1) ...yeah, the paycheck is really good. working under a more dangerous harbinger means they get paid way more than some of their coworkers, such as childe's agents who do not get paid anywhere near as much as they do. (2) they're afraid. dottore knows their name and face. they're scared of what might happen if they quit.

AND THIS the general consensus so far seems to be that everyone wants to put scara in his place, so... that is what we shall do! [name] will, in fact, put him in his place!

you as well, lovely! i promise i am taking breaks in between writing ajsosjsk sometimes i just get a burst of motivation <33

[kulaiyin]

(content: xenohydro side quest, world 1 finale, world 2 beginning, simulated universe world 3)

(picture unrelated) wrapping up world 1 and heading towards world 2! 

excited to jump into a new world! ╰(*°▽°*)╯

mitosis... 

GETTEM LAMINA!!!!! DON’T LET THIS GUY BOSS U AROUND

XENOHYDRO REAL?! this quest chain (?) was fun... i ended up letting both lamina and the xenohydro go, because i can understand the urge of a living curio to be free... lamina’s story also made me emo. i didn’t manage to find her again after this quest, but i hope she’s living her best life! 

after the quest, i smugly ran straight for where capote and lamina used to stand around and found capote in one of those coffee rooms

to my surprise, he was very humbled by the experience?! i’m glad that he’s reflecting on himself! usually i kinda feel bad for my choice in these side quests, but i like this ending! 👍 

BACK TO BELOBOG... SO WE CAN GET OUT OF BELOBOG!

i took these screenshots weeks ago but... happy pride (❤´艸｀❤)

OH?! THIS IS SO ANCIENT CHINESE DRAMA... 

THEM... this whole sequence was so menacing...

i honestly didn’t expect blade to be “evil,” i thought he was just an edgy emo guy... wait, no, i guess the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that he could smile like that 😱

not the coffee cups 

my phone graphics are CRYONG

during the dan heng nightmare cutscene, i also got a texture error with the sword. after rewatching it online, i realized it was supposed to have a shattered effect, but for me it had some pink stripes just like above! ∑( 口 || 

h-hang in there, phone...

WELT IS COMING ?!!?!?!?!?!? 😳😳😳

MY PHONE POOPED AT THIS PART, THE HOLOGRAMS KEPT GLITCHING BUT KAFKA YOOOOOOOO

the moms are FIGHTING

i'm so curious to see what our destination would have been... but it’s ok, the docking location for xianzhou luofu looks REALLY COOL! 

REALLY DIDN’T EXPECT THE XIANZHOU LUOFU FIRST LOCATION TO BE A BARGE

COOOOOOOOOL!!!!!! COLORFUL

march 7th’s Droppings

KYAAAAAAAA SPACE CHINA LOOKS COOL!!!!

at this point, i hit trailblazer level 35 and got my 10 standard warp passes! (bites nails) WE’RE HITTING PITY, LET’S SEE THE GOODS...!

sampo goes for a 散步

HAPPY TO HAVE HIM! regrettably i haven’t had much opportunity to build/use him since i got him, but it’s nice to fill out the 4-star roster! 💪 only missing sushang and tingyun!

(definitely thinking of throwing pulls on the luocha banner... WANT SUSHANG)

... AND I GOT BRONYA’S E1 YOOOOOOOOO!!!

after reviewing what it does, it seems really good?! now using her skill doesn’t hurt that much anymore! 👀

... REALLY WANT TO GET SEELE TO MATCH WITH HER GF but maybe i will get her on a rerun _(:з)∠)_ i have guaranteed after losing 50/50 to E0 bronya, but i don’t have enough to hit pity... 

march u are so funny (genuine)

XIANZHOU LUOFU IS SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL i love how distinct the architecture is and how there are colorful ribbons in the sky as clouds... ✨ 

(but also please excuse my poop graphics...)

bro has two tails

my phone HATES THIS AREA LOOOOL BUT OMG YUKONG 😳

the holograms and screens glitch like crazy so i regrettably was a bit distracted during this scene... later on i found out that it’s purposefully like that o(￣┰￣*)ゞ

i didn’t expect yukong to have such a high position! ... and to outright reject us akjdlawjl luckily jing yuan is here to our rescue...

(by the way, i genuinely thought yukong was tingyun’s mom or something when i saw the initial character lineup... maybe i’m a fool... THERE ARE A LOT OF FOXIANS HERE) 

oh she lesbiab... i appreciate this npc... 🙏🥺

SIMULATED UNIVERSE WORLD 3... DEFEATED!!!!! i was using preservation buffs and basically it was a cockroach fight with gepard ALKJDALW i can’t even tell you how long it the boss battle took...

yeah... 

i don’t think this is my first time i attempted SU3 (i’m pretty sure nanook sabatoged my first run lol) but i love the fact that we get to use CURIOS...! with curios and blessings, there’s a lot of potential for silly builds...

[lostacelonnie]

Hey no worries i have to interact with people i dont wanna all the time & have to take a moment & not be like that myself. Oh shit its school time already? Maybe some will know but the beauty is that eventually you reach a point where nobody will who you dont want to so fuck it we ball on that one. Lakeside beaches are also very good i think mt fuji in japan has some like. Lakeside beaches that offer a good view of it & i wanna see that. Im not sure what the definition of fancier english words is here but mostly you dont need them in my experience anyways. Even specific words have workarounds. Ah so making it easier & more generic but not going into the details like they used to. Thats a shame especially with how confusing english can get. I went one town over a week or two ago & it was 108 F, or 42 c i had to convert that, at like 8 at night i was dying. Totally fair sometimes knowing when to hold off is best & its nice to enjoy stuff later for certain things. Turned out i had enough for 2 ten pulls but kafka came home on the first so my luck got burned for a bit i think. Cant wait to use her. The story is interesting but ive been having. So much fun diving in fontaine i ignored the story for a whole day. Good luck on your gear maxing & eventual ender dragon fight! Ah yes a tough choice. That i guess boils down to how much you like your family. So good luck on that decision as well! Oh please do! I found a purple that should work with my hair just need to use it when i have time. I would like to grind more but it kills my phone battery. Oh i got sampo too but i dont think i need to worry about building yet. So no artifact grind for me. The aeons are conceptually really cool & i cant wait for more simulated universe. When i get back to it. So many side quests. My brain is a sponge for fish facts mostly. Its weird. Like antarctic sponges are theorized to live so long because the low temperature & high pressure slow their aging dramatically

thanks ahdfkjg i appreciate it. it is indeed school time already! i start in just under a week but the beginning of the school year is pushed back this year bc september 1st is on a friday so its starting on the 4th instead! yippee! and yeah defo but luckily the people who already know, that being my mother and a couple friends, are very chill about it so even More fuck it we ball. yeah im pretty sure it does but not completely certain. speaking of which maybe ill go see mt fuji if i end up traveling more when older. and well its hard to explain shdfj i mostly mean like, rarer words used, for example, in poetry, or more specific words, lets say the parts of a ship- which, yes, i DO know the basic ones, but theres a couple that i only know the polish equivalent of [for example, a dziób is called a prow! i had to look that up!]. but yeah it doesnt really hinder my day to day understanding of the language, its just occasionally mildly annoying. and yeah it is like that but oh well. GOOD LORD 42C????? id just Perish. the moment it starts getting uncomfortable for me is like 27c [80f]. yeah ill see What Life Brings!! and oh congrats!!! tbh i didnt really have the energy to play star rail recently sjdnflgk but at least i converted that time into actually drawing so id say its for the better. and oh cool!!! im back in warsaw so ill probably check it out any day now sjdkfjm if im not too busy with rain world that is. god i love rain world. and thank you!!!! its extremely funny bc while ive liked minecraft for YEARS now i never actually ended up beating the game cos i have an unfortunate tendency to abandon saves.... but ill try to finally do it. beat the fake gamer allegations. i do actually like my family, or at least my mother since im not really close with my half siblings [all adults, also 2 outta 3 dont moved out of poland] or the rest [live like half the country away] so yeah i still have to think about it. anyway, dye update: i actually managed to do it! finally. thank god. and oh i feel you, my phone was dying bc of memory so i play on pc now. best decision of my life tbh. YEAHHH im so curious about them...... SWARM DISASTER GAME MODE SOON THO....... AND EPIC thats so cool!!! i love hearing fish facts knowing damn well im Not going to remember anything

[mickey-henry]

𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝

pairing: bucky barnes (bookstore au) x reader

summary: eager to escape the heat, you find yourself in the presence of a mesmerizing bookstore and an irresistibly beautiful man.

word count: 2.3K

author’s note: hello! welcome to my third fic😊 I’m eager to share this with you all! I now have a taglist (the link is also in my bio) if you’re interested🥰 thank you to @certainaesthetic​ for helping me workshop this idea, @fuckandfluff​ for the grammar help, and @midnightf​ for hyping me up as I wrote it! likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! the header images are from pinterest and the divider is from here. I hope you like it! 💖

You’re desperate to escape the smoldering heat. It’s too hot to rest in the car; it’s been baking all day beneath the sweltering summer sun, parked just outside your place of work. If you attempt to sit in it now, you’d only be greeted with a wave of torrid air, stung with the touch of your seatbelt, and burnt from the searing leather of your steering wheel.

You’re off from work earlier than usual—the blinding sun is usually long beneath the horizon before you head home for the day. The pathetically small sun visor does nothing to shade your eyes from the blazing sunlight. Rather than driving half-blind, you decide to wait out the setting sun.

As you ponder how to spend the rest of your afternoon, you realize that now is an opportune time to visit the new bookstore, The Book Haven, that opened last month. After changing out of your uniform and throwing your work stuff in the trunk, you walk across the plaza to the shop entrance.

The bookstore greets you with the chime of a bell and a rush of cool air as you step in, a blissful contrast to the scorching outdoors. The welcoming scent of coffee grounds and the tangy aroma of old books accompany the refreshing breeze. You take a deep breath, appreciating the convivial atmosphere. The bookstore is a sublime sight; words almost can’t describe its charm.

Shelves like skyscrapers—stuffed to the brim with books, magazines, and comics—graze the ceiling. An intimate reading nook lies next to the door; an inviting window seat dwells beside a floor-to-ceiling window. Clear mosaic window clings cover the glass, casting beautiful rainbows throughout the store. Stringed vintage light bulbs illuminate the shelves; candle-lit sconces adorn the top corners of each one. Oriental rugs lay between the shelves, covering a dark mocha floor. Tucked in the back of the store is a small coffee cranny, hidden at first glance. Frank Sinatra’s charming, rich vocals travel through the air, tickling your ears. The owner clearly put the utmost time, energy, and love into the creation of their shop. It is unequivocally perfect and already one of your favorite places.

You wander to the classics section, enthralled by the exquisite covers. Sensing someone nearby, your eyes glance at movement caught in the corner of your eye. Your stomach somersaults at the stunning stranger. The instant you lay your eyes on him, you forget to breathe for a moment—your breath engulfs your throat. You’re astounded by the Adonis of a man before you.

Bristles of scruff grace his defined jawline—his low man-bun neatly styles his dark chestnut hair. A grey short-sleeve button-up shirt hugs his toned arms; a white tank top clings to his lean, fit frame; cuffed slim-fit khaki pants, help up by a bronze braided belt, embrace his thick thighs; and weathered, chunky brown leather shoes don his feet.

Through the rose-colored glasses that surround your heart, your soul imagines a life with a perfect stranger. The hopeless romantic in you can’t help but steal glances, hoping to catch a better glimpse of him. The moment he turns to walk away, your heart sinks to your stomach. You hope this isn’t the last time you see this gorgeous man.

A few minutes later, you’re mulling over a collectible edition of The Catcher in the Rye, attempting to justify purchasing yet another copy of your favorite book. A melodic voice interrupts your pondering. “That’s a pretty edition of The Catcher in the Rye you’ve got there.”

You turn towards the charming voice. Lo-and-behold, it’s the love of your life: the handsome stranger you’ve mentally lived a lifetime with. His beauty is even more profound up close: now you can see that his eyes are a lovely shade of blue. His eyes, haunted by a subtle sadness, draw you in, unlike anything you’ve experienced before. You find yourself entranced in his sea-blue current; you could easily drown in his gaze. You attempt to hide your awestruck expression and converse with him like a normal human being. “I agree! I already own a copy though, do I really need a new one?”

“I think we both know the answer is always yes,” he assures.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. I'll get it! Thank you for justifying my unnecessary purchase.”

Your words hang in the air, everything going quiet as you wait for the ravishing stranger to introduce himself. The two of you stare in silence at each other, the tension thickening as the seconds pass by. After a few moments, his face flashes in realization—you were waiting for his name.

“I’m Bucky,” he offers with an enchanting smile, extending his hand out to you. You share your name as the two of you shake hands. Your eyes stare down his veiny arm to his ring-studded fingers grasped around yours. You allow yourself to imagine for a few moments how amazing those fingers would feel tracing your arms, tangling your hair, and teasing your inner thigh. Your lustful reverie comes to an abrupt halt at the sight of the book nestled inside the crook of his elbow: The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, the bane of your existence. You scoff with furrowed brows; of course, Mr. Handsome Stranger would be interested in the one book you despise.

“Got something to say there, sweetheart?” he questions with an amused grin.

“Out of all the classic novels in this entire store, that’s the one you chose? The Metamorphosis?”

“What’s wrong with this one?” he jives.

You pause for a second, debating whether it’s worth it to argue with a stranger. The pondering lasts only a few seconds; the exhaustion from your day disintegrates your filter. Besides, you loathe The Metamorphosis.

“What isn’t wrong with it? The dude wakes up thinking he’s an insect? The reader has to sit there throughout the entire book, wondering whether he’s a man or a bug? What the actual fuck? I didn’t appreciate the existential crisis that book gave me at fifteen; if I can help someone else avoid the suffering caused by that monstrosity, I'm going to do my part,” you huff, unamused by the joy Bucky seems to gain from your zealous analysis.

“Wow, what a passionate review! Perez Hilton would be envious of your slander. Okay then, what classic would you recommend instead?”

You cross your arms, expecting him to challenge your response. “The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde.”

“That’s a play,” he counters.

“It’s published as a book; it counts! It’s witty, playful, and has a happy ending, which is the most important point of all. It also doesn’t make you want to pull a Fahrenheit 451 and burn every copy in existence,” you attest.

He steps closer to you, tucking loose strands of his hair behind his ear. “Life doesn’t always have a happy ending, sweetheart.”

Great, there he goes again with that freaking pet name; it’s going to be the death of you. He knows your name, you just gave it to him, yet here he is, infuriatingly insisting on calling you sweetheart instead. Stupid pretty boy with his ocean blue eyes and amorous smile.

“That’s exactly the point,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “So, why would I want to read something that doesn’t end well? If I’m going to escape this reality for a while, it better be for a happier one.”

“And if it's not?”

“Then I’ll throw the book across the room and make up my own happy ending!”

“Ooh, aggressive,” he tuts. “The owner of this place might not be too happy with you if you’re throwing books all over the place; it’ll scare away the customers.”

“Then it’s a good thing the owner isn’t here,” you interject confidently, knowing full well you have no idea who the owner is.

“Well, that just isn’t true, sweetheart. You’re looking right at him.”

He’s lying—he has to be. Why would a dreamboat like Bucky own a bookstore?

You scoff, “you’re not the owner of this place.”

“I’m not? What makes you say that?” he banters.

“People like you don’t own bookstores!” you exclaim.

“People like me?” he goads, cocking his head to the side. The action erupts butterflies in your stomach.

“Attractive people!” you groan.

“So you think I’m attractive?” he plays, stepping to close the gap between you.

“Psh, no, you wish,” you muster. The heat spreading across your cheeks betrays your bluff.

There are mere inches between the both of you now; you hope he can’t hear your racing heartbeat. You watch his eyes go down from yours to your mouth and back up again. He eyes you with a smirk, his teeth playfully tugging his bottom lip. It takes everything in your power not to give in to his spell.

“I’ve known you for what, five minutes? I don’t go around kissing strangers, Bucky,” you falter, taking a step back from his closeness.

“Then let’s not be strangers, sweetheart. Grab a coffee with me; I know a nice place, not far from here,” he flirts, gesturing to the counter at the back of the store.

“Let me learn more about what goes on in that pretty little head of yours,” he purrs, his breath tickling your cheek.

“Okay, fine. I’ll have a coffee with you,” you surrender.

A bright, honeyed smile dons his face.  

“It better be good, though. Not the stale crap you usually get in the middle of the afternoon.”

“I’d only give you the best, sweetheart,” he winks, extending his right hand. You take it; he gives you a soft squeeze before weaving you through the towering shelves.

Your discussion continues with another passionate book review as he prepares your drink. He’s a sucker for gritty dystopian novels while you gravitate towards sappy romances. He shares his passion for painting as he guides you to the reading nook. The artwork hung on the edges of the bookcases is crafted by him—a detail you hadn’t noticed at first glance. His stunning work features both landscapes and people. He loves to sit in a picturesque landscape and paint for endless hours. Occasionally, he takes his old polaroid as he explores the town, snapping moments between strangers, translating their intimacy to canvas when he gets home.

He gestures for you to take a seat in the reading nook before handing you our steaming cup of joe. You sit with your legs crossed, your hands hugging the mug in your lap. Bucky sits with his leg draped over the side of the bench, his left foot pressing into his right thigh. The conversation shifts topics; the two of you divulge your desires and unfulfilled ambitions. You aren’t sure if it’s the look in his eyes, the sweet cup of joe in your palms, or the aroma of coffee surrounding you, but in his presence, your senses feel wide awake.

Before you know it, the mesmeric moon replaces the sizzling sun, melting away the blistering heat, and the steaming cup of coffee in your hands has long chilled. Bucky’s employee interrupts the blissful rendezvous, informing him that all the closing duties are complete, and he’s headed home for the night.

You stare at your watch in shock—it's five past nine. Where did the time go? You apologize profusely to the poor kid who had to close up alone; he assures you it’s no problem.

A melancholic pit in your stomach forms as you turn back to Bucky. He’s nestled himself into your soul; you don’t want to say farewell to him so soon. He has a sad glint in his eyes; you hope it’s because he’s also dreading the end of this perfect night.

“Can I walk you to your car?” he asks timidly, his earlier suave demeanor gone from his voice. He stands up in front of you, offering his arm to escort you.

“I’d love that,” you reply with a shy grin, grabbing his arm and hugging it tightly.

In the blink of an eye, you’re in front of your car. You let go of his arm and lean against the trunk. You stare into his eyes, hoping that he can see without the use of words how much you don’t want this moment to end. There’s a few moments of painful silence before Bucky clears his throat.

“So, now that we’re not total strangers, how about that kiss?” he flirts with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” you reply with a bashful smile.

He slowly reaches his hand towards your cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb. He presses his forehead against yours. “Are you sure you want to do this? ‘Cause if we do, you might not be able to get rid of me, sweetheart.”

“Yes I do, Bucky,” you giggle.

He grins as he gently presses his pillowy pink lips on yours. The kiss steals all the air from your lungs—his touch sends tingles throughout your body, electrifying your veins. You’re breathless when your lips finally part.

“Let me get your number before I let you go,” Bucky insists. You nod and hand him your phone, unable to form a coherent thought.  The ghost of his lips and fingers trace your figure. You’re barely acquainted with his tender touch, yet you feel naked without it, yearning to once again be within his grasp.

You exchange phones—adding your number and name with a sparkling heart emoji and swiftly passing his phone back before you can change your mind. Bucky snaps a quick selfie for his contact, smirking for the camera. You grin when you see he also put emojis by his name: a beetle and a kissy-face.

He pecks your cheek before opening the car door for you. “Hope to see you around, lovebug.” The new pet name burns your cheeks and erupts butterflies in your stomach.

He doesn’t leave the parking lot until your car disappears completely from his view.

You drive home with thoughts of Bucky swirling in your mind. You send a silent thanks to the universe for bringing this beautiful man into your life. His voice, touch, and smile echo in your thoughts for the remainder of the evening—his presence paving its way through your dreams. You’re falling hard and fast; you only hope he’ll be there to catch you.

tagging a few mutuals who expressed interest in this story🥰please fill out the taglist form if you’d like to be tagged in the next story! 💖

@ritesofreverie @midnightf @certainaesthetic

[interstellar-changkyun]

being students together (ot7) :

shownu | son hyunwoo

he’s in your economics class and yeah you are super intimidated by him

he’s quiet and handsome and tall and he’s a music production major but he’s taking a high level economics class FOR FUN so he’s smart too

basically all the girls in the class love him and the guys look up to him

you haven’t talked to him all semester but then you’re paired together for the final project

“Hello I’m Shownu, you’re y/n right?” he came up to you after the pairs were announced you were surprised he knew who you were you just nodded and he asked for your number to talk about when to meet and you gave it to him without hesitation

Shownu was all business and you seriously doubted he even liked you

over time you had grown even more fond of him, he was kind and caring and definitely not the scary tough guy you thought he was

you were one year younger than him and he teased you about it pretty often but you didn’t mind especially since shownu insisted on paying for all the snacks you bought while working on the project

finally when you were done he said, “we’re finally done, let me treat you to meat kid” and you definitely liked being younger now

when you went to eat there was a group of drunk guys at a table nearby being rowdy

shownu, despite his big appetite, made sure to pace himself so you could eat properly

it only occurred to you when he literally stopped eating to watch you eat and maybe you were blushing

as you were about to get up to leave the group of men came up behind you, “hey beautiful why don’t you come with us instead.” you cringed at the slurred voice and turned around to glare only for the man to lean in towards your face, inches apart you could smell the alcohol on their breath

almost instantly shownu was standing up and walking over to your side of the table they cowered away as he moved to stand in front of you, you got up then getting ready to pull him back

“i would leave if i were you” shownu said sternly and it made you remember just how intimidating he was they scurried away after that and he turned towards you, his body still tense

“i- thank you shownu” you couldn’t express how happy you were he was here and how kind he was and he seemed confused by your expression, you looked ready to cry tears of gratitude

“don’t mention it, seriously i’d do it again any day”

you expected shownu to stop sitting next to you in class or meeting you between classes after your project ended but he didn’t, instead he became apart of your friend group, still quiet and talking only to you

then he introduced his other friends they were all music production majors but they were fun and shownu loved them like brothers they joined your group too

after a random guy from your class asked you out shownu realized just how much you meant to him and asked you out

wonho | shin hoseok

let’s be real he’s intimidating asf

but wonho’s the sweetest man alive

he would definitely sit next to you because you’re pretty and then be too shy to talk to you

he blushes when he sees you and when you smile he can’t help but stare

you never notice despite him being right there and stare at him too but he never catches you

your best friend, changkyun, who walks you to class every day notices him watching you as you enter and he’s sure wonho likes you so he tries to prove it

“what if i just ask you out one day?” you smack his shoulder and he yelps in pain

“he doesn’t like me so if you want to embarrass yourself then yeah go for it?”

“maybe i have a humiliation kink.” changkyun wiggles his eyebrows and you just roll your eyes but sure enough the fucker does it the next day waiting a couple seconds for you to take your seat before walking up to you

“y/n i was wondering if you want to get dinner with me i really like you?” changkyun was a good actor you had to give it to him, wonho couldn’t believe this kid but he really hoped you would say no

“i’m sorry i like someone else actually.” you couldn’t think of anything else to say and you immediately regretted it

“oh do you mind if i ask who?” you were gonna kill changkyun you glared at him but could feel wonho looking at you both so you regained your composure

“i-it’s personal” your gaze flitted to wonho and sure enough he was looking at you, you blushed instantly

“i understand no worries.” changkyun said and walked away knowing his work was done

“that was awkward huh? sorry you had to witness that.” you said to wonho without looking at him, trying to cool your cheeks

“it’s okay you deserve better anyways.” his voice was so soothing and you decided you had to be bold or you would regret it forever

“like you?” you looked at him now and he looked so shocked but he was blushing too

“yeah exactly like me.” he smiled a bright grin and you knew you were head first falling for him

kihyun

definitely the intimidating but annoyingly smart student that argues with everyone

you don’t mind being quiet and unassuming in class but today is discussion day and you actually liked the assigned reading

Kafka’s Metamorphosis made you excited about reading again so you decide today will be the day you wrack up on participation points

“Okay class lets start off with an open-ended question as we do: does anyone want to share what they thought about the reading?” The professor asked and there was a couple beats of silence before you raised your hand and she called on you

“Personally I really liked how the salesman describes the events of his metamorphosis so matter-of-factly and it gave insight into his general outlook on society.”

“I would argue the events of his transformation made him numb and traumatized him so much that he became nihilistic.” Kihyun was talking to you now, looking at you with his sharp eyes and you couldn’t deny your cheeks flushed under his stare

and then you two started arguing with each other across the lecture hall forgetting there were other people there until the professor cut in, “kihyun and y/n while your discussion is riveting let’s give others a chance to add in,” you huffed and looked away from kihyun not missing his smirk, did he think he won?

when class ended you decided you had to set the record straight, no way in hell were you backing down you stalked over to where he was packing up his laptop

“i hope you don’t think you won,” your were arms crossed and your cheeks were still flushed from the heat of the moment

“no you were right i just kept it going because you look cute when you’re angry,” you closed and opened your both in incredulity

“well then ask me to get coffee and we can argue some more,” you still feigned anger and his smirk turned into a grin and he did just that

you and kihyun’s first d(eb)ate was the same day you properly met and he couldn’t help but squeeze your red cheeks when you were done arguing and you let him walk you to your dorm and kissed him goodbye

minhyuk

class clown and kinda intimidating too

all the girls in your class are in love with him and you thought he was cute but you had always been in a relationship and you wouldn’t be swayed be anyone besides your partner

he’s funny, cute, smart, and sweet but definitely not interested in any of you nor does he notice the attention

but then you’re breaking up with your partner and you don’t let them see you cry, they had cheated on you after all they don’t deserve your emotions now

you run off to the library, sat down in the old reference book aisle that no one ever checks but you weren’t lucky it seems because lee minhyuk is walking through the aisle until he sees you on the ground and crying

he squats down in front of you, “do you wanna get something to eat?” he doesn’t ask if you’re okay because that’s a dumb question and it makes you giggle because you were hungry and dehydrated from all the crying so you just nod and let him lead you to an empty diner near campus

he orders you fries and a milkshake, strawberry, coincidentally your favorite flavor, and you feel better as you both eat in silence

minhyuk is funny and sweet making you forget about your day, for a while and then you’re telling him what happened and he’s sympathizing, “what’s his name i wanna beat this guy up?!” minhyuk is not intimidating you learn he’s actually just a softie and you make a great friend that day

minhyuk knows you’re not ready for a relationship but he’s always there for you after that day and months later when you get fries and a milkshake like that first day he tells you he wants to date you and you just kiss him square on the lips

hyungwon

quiet, smart, respectful boy but also sleepy

he always comes in with a 24 oz americano and your class wasn’t THAT early so you couldn’t help but notice the large drink

then you notice how adorable and handsome he is and maybe when you stare off into space during lecture your eyes always land on him, but alas you’re both too quiet to approach each other

one day he comes in without coffee and he falls asleep during lecture but you feel bad because the professor just announced details about the midterm and he definitely missed all of it

so after class you stand up and go to his still sleeping form and poke him a couple of times and he groggily says “wha-what’s happening?” and then he’s blinking and sitting up straight with wide eyes

“uhm you fell asleep and class ended but you just missed all the midterm details so i can email you the details or quickly tell you all of it?” you couldn’t help but giggle at his appearance and you desperately wanted to fix his messy hair

“oh uh- thank you do you mind just walking with me?” he was clearly still disoriented but you agreed since you didn’t have another class for a couple of hours

you and hyungwon walked to the nearest library on campus and you told him everything you could remember and he thanked you profusely

“i never sleep in class but today i didn’t have coffee and ugh i’m so grateful thank you,”

“i noticed,” you don’t know why you said that but hyungwon smiled a lazy and soft smile and you decided you wanted to get to know the caffeine addicted tall boy

the next lecture he brought you a cup of coffee too and sat next to you and as you became friends it wasn’t soon after he asked you out

jooheon

like minhyuk he’s the smart class clown but also intimidating

he jokes around with the professors like he knows the entire content of the course and he’s so smart he probably does

one day you’re late to lecture and the only seat left is next to him and he gives u a nod as u sit down

you’re struggling to stay awake and when your head falls out of your hand it’s resting in slightly jooheon is giggling next to you

“hey you can sleep i’ll take extra good notes for you,” and you could cry from gratefulness but instead you just give him a smile and rest on your arms and then he’s waking u up and giggling at your grogginess

it’s the first time you see his dimples and you feel like an arrow shot through your heart and you must be half conscious because you can’t seem to control your body as you outstretch a hand and poke one of his dimples

he’s shocked but just laughs and his dimples deepen impossibly and you’re apologizing and he just says, “you can poke my dimples any time,” and well you just tell yourself you’re still sleepy even though your entire body feels awake now as you do it again and his eyes vanish as he smiles

you’re definitely whipped and he is too and it’s only until one of his friends notices you two being annoyingly oblivious of your feelings for one another and says, “yah just ask them out already!” to jooheon do you two actually start to date

he takes you bowling and you’re grossly whipped for each other

I.M | im changkyun

the type of hot and intimidating you would never approach him but just stare at him from a distance

sits behind you in class and rarely talks but when he does you shiver just from how deep his voice is

you sit next to your friend and they constantly tease you about how reactive you are just to his voice alone

one day you’re running late and rushing through campus and when you finally make it to your lecture hall you’re almost late so you stumble on the steps to your chair and fall

a all too recognizable voice says, “are you alright?” and then he’s kneeling in front of you and giving you his hand to help you up and your hand is oh so cold but his is so warm and so are your cheeks now because he’s staring right at you

“yes thank you,” and you’re stumbling as you stand up so he naturally grabs your arms with both hands to steady you and you’re so sure your blush is out of this world and changkyun feels like he might have just fallen for you right then and there

after that he notices you more and more until he can’t stop seeing you everywhere what feels like all the time

when he sees you in his favorite cafe in what is his usual seat he just mumbles “fuck it,” and takes the seat right opposite from you and you’re sure you’re imagining it, maybe all the caffeine was battling the lack of sleep and you were losing it

“you know we haven’t properly met,” changkyun introduces himself and you give up on your homework as you begin talking to him, after a while you don’t find him intimidating any more and revel in just how easy he is to talk to

as you’re walking out of the cafe he walks you to your dorm and your hands are cold as you desperately try warming them up, even resorting to blowing on them, and he notices and takes both of them in one hand and puts them in warm pocket and you feel yourself falling headfirst for the seemingly edgy truly soft boy

[teenwolffanclub-me]

Season 1, Episode 1: Wolf Moon (Part Two)

Hey there beautiful reader! If you’re new here, this is a series I’m writing where each chapter is an episode from the first season of Teen Wolf. If you’ve been here before, hey! I missed you! Previous and future chapters are linked at the end of each part if you want to catch up.

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader (eventually)

P.S. Stiles and Y/N finally talk! Yay! 

                                              ————————

I nearly jumped out of moms car as she skidded to a stop outside Beacon Hills High School. Somehow, I was late on my first day. Not a good first impression. She started her new job at the hospital today, too, but she didn’t have to be in until around noon.

“Good luck honey!” She called out and I sent a dismissive wave over my shoulder.

I slammed the passenger door shut and walked briskly toward the school. I was supposed to meet the principal out here for some reason, so I found a bench to sit on while I waited. I plopped down and immediately noticed a girl sitting on the bench across from me, talking on the phone. She had long dark hair that fell over her shoulders in loose waves and dark brown eyes. She looked tall and slender as she crossed her legs and ruffled through the beige bag beside her.

“Mom, a call on my first day is a little overdoing it.” She huffed and continued searching in her purse. “Everything but a pen. Oh, my God. I didn’t actually forget a pen. Okay. I gotta go. Love ya.”

Just then, a man wearing a grey suit approached us. He stopped in front of her and smiled politely at us both.

“Sorry for the wait.” He greeted.

I stood and slowly made my way toward both of them, assuming that she was another new student getting a chauffeur to her first class, too. She pulled her sleeves over her hands and sent me a timid smile. I returned the favor.

“Allison, meet Y/N. Y/N, Allison.” The man started walking and we followed silently. “So, you were saying San Francisco isn’t where you grew up?”

I figured he was talking to Allison since I’ve never lived in San Francisco nor spoken to him before.

“No, but we lived there for more than a year. Which is unusual for my family.”

That piqued my interest.  

“Y/N, I take it you recently moved here as well?” The principal’s eyes met mine and I nodded. 

“We move a lot, too.” Allison looked relieved not to be the only one and I had to admit that I was glad too. It was nice to know someone who could relate to my weird upbringing, even if we didn’t end up being friends. 

“Well, hopefully Beacon Hills will be both of your last stops for awhile.” Our tour guide said cheerfully with a grin.

He led us into the school and through the halls casually. They were empty since we were late, and everyone was in class already. I glanced around, noting that it looked utterly normal. Normal was good. Normal was safe. Despite that revelation, my heart rate picked up and I wiped my sticky palms on my jeans. I always hated starting over. It made me incredibly nervous every time.

The principal made a right turn and opened a wooden classroom door. He stepped inside and both Allison and I followed. We must have the same first period. She looked even more nervous than I felt. She was constantly fidgeting with her hands and wasn’t making eye contact with anyone as we stood before the class. I, on the other hand, let my gaze sweep over the room as he introduced us.

“Class, these are our new students, Allison Argent and Y/N Y/L/N. Please do your best to make them feel welcome.”

He left quickly, leaving us to find empty seats. Allison instantly started walking toward the back of the room, probably not wanting to be the center of attention anymore, but I hesitated as I caught sight of two familiar people. It took me a second, since I’d only seen them in the dark, but those two boys were definitely the same ones from last night.

The one with shaggy hair, Scott, was staring at Allison with a small, dopey smile. His friend with the buzzed hair was glaring at the back of his head, as if he could sense that he was thinking something stupid. He, once again, was wearing too many layers. He wore a t-shirt, a grey zip-up hoodie, and a black jacket. I figured it must just be a style choice. 

I forced my legs to move when I noticed that Allison was already sliding into the chair behind Scott. I made my way to the only other free desk, which was a row over behind his friend. Once I was seated, I let my bag fall to the floor beside me and tried to relax. That had been pretty painless.

I fished inside my bag for a pencil and watched as Scott turned to Allison. He handed her a pen and she took it with a quiet, “thanks”. My brows furrowed. How did he know she needed a pen? She’d said she forgot one while outside, but she had barely just sat down. He had no way of knowing.

“We’ll begin with Kafka’s Metamorphosis on page 133.” The teacher announced, and my attention snapped back to the front of the room.

Well, that was weird.

                                                  ————————

The bell rang to dismiss us for the day and I rose to my feet quickly. My first day hadn’t been awful. I’d chatted with a few classmates and hadn’t felt too lost in my classes. Sometimes it was hard moving from place to place, because not every state teaches on the same schedule. 

I glanced down at the piece of paper I’d written my locker number and combination on and made my way toward it. It was only when I started dialing in the numbers that I noticed Allison was standing beside me at her own locker. 

“Following me?” I joked, and she laughed lightly.

“Hey, us new kids have to stick together, right?” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and concentrated on opening her lock.

She popped it open and glanced across the hall. I followed her gaze and rolled my eyes when I saw that Scott was staring dreamily at her. He was leaning against his own locker, looking like a lost puppy. She sent him a timid smile in return and turned back toward me. 

A sudden voice from behind had us both turning around. “That jacket is absolutely killer.”

The compliment had come from a petit girl with strawberry blonde hair and an outfit to die for. She was wearing a red, white, and blue plaid mini skirt with a royal blue sweater tucked inside. Her beautiful green eyes were expertly framed by subtle makeup. She looked more like a model than a high school student.

“Where’d you get it?” She prodded when Allison didn’t respond right away. 

She hesitated for another moment. “My mom was a buyer for a boutique back in San Francisco.”

The girl’s gaze moved in my direction and she looked me up and down. I prepared myself for the worst but was surprised when her eyes lit up in excitement.

“Those shoes!” She gasped. I looked down at my ankle boots then back up to her. “Is your mom a fashion buyer too?”

“No,” I chuckled, relieved that she was actually being nice to me. I didn’t have a great track record with the popular crowd. “She’s a nurse.” 

“And...you are my new best friends.” She smirked as Allison and I shared a quick, uncertain glance. This girl was nice, sure, but also a bit over the top for my liking.  

Just then, a guy walked up and put his arm around our “new best friend”, who I realized still hadn’t formally introduced herself.

“Hey, Jackson.” They shared a brief kiss before both of their gazes were on us again. Well, at least I know his name.

He was admittedly a very attractive guy. His blond hair was short and spiked at his forehead, and he was clearly muscular beneath his thin t-shirt and plaid button up. He even had a strong jaw and striking turquoise eyes, to boot.

“So, this weekend there’s a party.” The girl crossed her arms and leaned back against Jackson’s chest.

“A party?” Allison echoed with a swallow.

“Yeah, Friday night. You should come.” Jackson chimed in, smirking devilishly.

“Oh, I can’t. It’s family night this Friday. Thanks for asking.” She quickly brushed them off. It was clear that she was lying. To me, at least.

All of their eyes moved in my direction and I glanced between them as I weighed my options.

“Sure. I’m in.” I shrugged.

I had never been a big partier, but it wouldn’t hurt to socialize a little. I’d never been invited to something on my first day at a new school, so I took it as a good sign. I wanted to make friends here. I wanted normalcy. And fun. 

“We have tryouts in a few minutes.” Jackson suddenly announced. It took me a moment to realize that he was inviting us to watch. “That is, if you don’t have anything else...”

“Well, I was going to...”

“I actually have...”

We were both cut off as the girl gripped each of our wrists lightly.

“Perfect.” She smirked and urged us with her eyes to comply. “You’re coming.”

                                                ———————

I took a seat next to Allison and Lydia—yes, I finally asked her name—in the stands, rubbing my hands together against the chilly late afternoon air. I was slightly surprised to learn that we’d be watching lacrosse. I just assumed the tryouts would be for football.

I watched as Allison and Scott stared at each other from across the field very obviously and wondered what their deal was. It was almost like they had a history or something.

“Who’s that?” She suddenly asked, her eyes still on him.

“Him? I’m not sure who he is. Why?” Lydia’s tone was slightly judgmental, giving her feelings away easily. She clearly didn’t like to associate with anyone outside her clique. 

“He’s in my English class.” Allison muttered, seemingly embarrassed to have asked.

I saw him cock his head to the side out on the field, almost as if he could hear us. I narrowed my eyes as the coach blew his whistle and Scott covered his ears like it physically hurt him.

“His name is Scott.” I said without thinking about how I shouldn’t know that.

Both girls looked at me in question and I shrugged with a sheepish smile. “I’m observant.”

They easily accepted my answer and turned their attention back to the tryouts. I winced as the poor guy took a ball to the face. After that one hit, he did surprisingly well. He caught each pass that came his way without effort. After Scott caught another round of balls, Jackson shoved his way to the front of the line, looking pissed off.

He threw as hard as he could, jumping a couple feet in the air as his body twisted from the force of it. We all watched with baited breath as the ball flung toward Scott. The stands erupted into cheers the second he caught it. His friend with the buzzed hair jumped up and waved his hands excitedly. Even Lydia stood to clap her hands.

“That’s my friend!” The guy shouted. Jeez, I really need to learn his name already.

Lydia cheered again and sent Jackson a pointed look. It was as if she were scolding him from afar and saying, “I’m only dating you because you’re the best player, so shape up.” He glared back, his nostrils flaring in anger.

                                                   —————————

“I made a complete and total fool of myself.”

I rolled my eyes and shut my locker with a quiet click. Allison was freaking out over nothing.

“He asked to you to go to the party with him.” I reassured her, leaning against the cool metal while I waited for her to gather her things. She had graciously offered me a ride home from school since my mom was working until late tonight.

“Probably out of pity or something.” She sighed and shut her locker.

She was nervous that she had scared Scott off after rushing into the animal clinic last night with a dog she’d somehow run over. Clearly, it was fine. Despite her “utter hysterics” as she called them, he’d invited her to the party this weekend. That was a good thing. It meant he didn’t care that she was an over emotional dog-hitter.

Speaking of Scott, we were quickly approaching where he stood at his locker. We were still at the end of the now empty hall when Jackson walked up and harshly slammed the metal door shut. On instinct, I grabbed Allison’s arm and dragged her into a nearby classroom.

I moved my head into the hall just enough to see them. She looked at me like I was crazy until I pointed in their direction. She seemed to catch on and ducked down beside me.

“Alright, little man.” Jackson huffed, invading Scott’s personal space. “How about you tell me where you’re getting your juice?”

“Juice?” Allison murmured, and I shushed her. 

“What?” Scott sounded breathless.

“Where are you getting your juice?” Jackson enunciated each word, as if dumbing it down for him to understand.

He hesitated for a long moment. “My mom does all the grocery shopping.”

I had to slap a hand over my mouth to keep my giggle from outing us. I mean, come on. That was so dumb. Allison glared at me for laughing at her crush, but I saw her lips twitching as she fought a smile.

“Now listen, McCall. You’re going to tell me exactly what it is and who you’re buying it from, because there’s no way in hell you’re out there kicking ass in the field like that without some sort of chemical boost.” Jackson spat the words in Scott’s face, sounding incredibly angry. 

“Oh,” Scott’s eyes lit up with recognition. “You mean steroids. Are you on steroids?”

Jackson slammed him into the lockers and both Allison and I jumped in surprise at his aggression. “What the hell is going on with you?”

“You wanna know whats going on with me?” He shoved Jackson away harshly. “You really wanna know? Well, so would I! Because I can see, hear, and smell things that I shouldn’t be able to see, hear, and smell. I do things that should be impossible! I’m sleepwalking three miles into the woods—.”

My shoulders tensed as memories of me doing that exact thing the other night flashed in my mind. He’d been sleepwalking too?

“—and I’m pretty much convinced that I’m totally out of my freaking mind!” He breathed out a heavy sigh and let his head fall back into the lockers.

Allison and I stood completely still, stunned by his words. So he had been listening to her phone call on the first day. That’s how he knew she needed a pen. And he’d heard us again in the stands at tryouts. He’d just confirmed it, he had supernatural abilities. By the sounds of it, they were new, too. But how? 

“You think you’re funny, don’t you, McCall? I know you’re hiding something. I’m gonna find out what it is. I don’t care how long it takes.” Jackson slammed his fist against the lockers and stalked off.

I shut the door to the classroom we were hiding in and leaned against it, my head swimming with information. My eyes caught Allison’s and she looked back at me, slightly terrified.

“What. The. Hell. Was. That.”

                                                    ————————

I shifted my red solo cup between hands and leaned against one of the thick columns on either side of the pool. Lydia really knew how to throw a party. The outdoor space was packed with dancing bodies. Music thumped loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood. It looked like everyone was having the time of their lives, my friends included.

Scott and Allison were dancing a few feet away from me. On the car ride home, we’d decided to investigate his weird outburst another time. It was just too much to deal with right now. It appeared she’d moved on from it already as they got progressively closer. Lydia and Jackson were grinding against the column beside me, although she was glaring in Allison’s direction with a hint of jealousy, which was weird.

Just then, someone bumped into my shoulder, causing my drink to spill down my arm. I jumped back, trying to keep it from going all over my clothes, and glared at the perpetrator next to me.

“Ah, sorry.” He winced before turning away. I rolled my eyes at his quick departure. Great, just great. It was bad enough that I was fifth-wheeling at this thing. Now I was cold and sticky.

Surprisingly, the guy returned a moment later with a handful of napkins. Way too many napkins. I let him dab at my arm for a few seconds until he was satisfied that it was dry. He glanced up at me, and I realized it was Scott’s spaz of a friend. 

Now that I was less than a foot away from him, I noticed how adorable he really was. His boyish features were littered with small freckles and his thin lips were pulled into a sheepish smile. His light brown eyes, the color of molten caramel, were warm and kind.

Those eyes flickered around my face before landing back on my own.

“Stiles...” He mumbled, sounding breathless.

“What?” I wasn’t sure if he’d just sneezed or had a stroke or what, but that was definitely not a real word.

From the corner of my eye I saw Scott suddenly wince in front of Allison and stagger away from her. She watched him disappear into the crowd, looking both confused and concerned. His friend called his name and immediately ran after him, ending whatever weird conversation we were starting.

Just then, I felt a dark presence behind me. My heart started racing and my shoulders tensed as an ominous feeling overwhelmed my senses. I turned slowly to see a tall man in a leather jacket staring straight at me. 

That is definitely not a teenager.

He took a step forward and I took one back.

“You know, you shouldn’t make a habit of trespassing on private property.” His voice was deep with warning. He stared straight into my soul and I gulped. 

My brows furrowed in confusion. “Excuse me?”

I was suddenly missing the goofy boy’s company. Before the creepy guy could say anything else, Allison appeared at my side with tears in her eyes.

“I wanna go home.” She sounded incredibly upset that Scott had just up and left her. I couldn’t really blame her, either. He was acting really weird. “Who’s this?”

“My name is Derek.” Creepy guy shoved his hands into the pockets of his thick jacket. “I’m a friend of Scott’s.”

I eyed him carefully. I’d never seen the two talk and he looked way too old to be friends with a sophomore in high school. The guy practically exuded dishonesty.

“Need a ride?”

I was about to politely decline when Allison nodded enthusiastically. She just wanted to get out of here, and since we both drove with other people we were kind of stranded. She started walking away with him so I had no other choice but to follow along, I didn’t like it one bit. My stomach was churning uncomfortably at the thought of us being alone with this guy. 

Whatever happened to stranger danger, anyway?

Although the ride was a little awkward, we both made it home safely that night. Little did we know what was lurking just around the corner. 

Episode 1, Part One     Episode 2, Part One

[stickylittleleaves]

okay so 8, 42, 43, 63, 85, 133, 135 !

8. a book you finished in one sitting the last one I remember was Intimations by Zadie Smith. it's an essay collection that's only about 100 pages, and it was a very slow day at work. but I rarely if ever do this with longer books, no matter how good they are, because I'm a pretty slow reader. 42. a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end hmmmm... I guess there are a couple different ways to interpret this. if I'm screaming because the book itself is so frustrating, I usually don't bother finishing it at all. but I could also be screaming because the subject matter is so overwhelming or intense. Neil Gaiman's Sandman comic series comes to mind for the first kind--I really enjoyed the series at the beginning and wanted to finish it for completion's sake but pretty much despised it by the end--and Arundahti Roy's Capitalism: A Ghost Story would be the second kind, because she captures the hellscape of 21st-century neoliberal capitalism in a very scream-inducing way! 43. a book that you have read more than three times probably the only adult book I can say this of would be Willa Cather's novel My Ántonia. the first three(!) times were for various classes and the last time was because I had grown affectionate towards it after being required to read it so often lol. (it was also the subject of my first ever published piece of writing!) 63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud I read a novel called Bright by Thai author Duanwad Pimwana for a book club recently, and there's a scene where a boy is raising a family of crickets which had me full-on belly laughing. I'm not even really sure why, it doesn't sound that funny trying to describe it, but that's the power of a good book I guess. 85. your favorite book about magical realism I have sort of a love/hate relationship with magical realism--sometimes I love it but if it feels lazy or pointless it can really drive me crazy. if it's not cheating, I think I'd have to go for Kafka's short stories. imo his best stories have the feeling of when you're just waking up or drifting off to sleep, when you're sort of half awake and half dreaming and the line between the two gets blurred. that's what magical realism should be like, but not many can pull it off. 133. a book that you came across randomly and fell in love with hmmm... I come across a lot of random books through my job at the library, but because my work is so book-oriented it's also rare that I know absolutely nothing about a book or author before I try them. but a couple that I came across pretty randomly and ended really liking recently were Amanda Petrusich's Do Not Sell at Any Price (about the crazy people who collect old 38 rpm records--way more interesting than it sounds) and Katherine Addison's The Goblin Emperor (sort of a political fantasy novel, also way more interesting than it sounds). 135. recommend any book you like! just for you: Angels in America by Tony Kushner! 😘

[spiltscribbles]

Metamorphosis

Notes: This was written for the most wonderful, gorgeous and sweetheart babe in the history of ever!!! @omgcmere for her birthday! ILYSM sweetheart! Huge thanks to my babes @pastelle-pvnk and @bibliothesophfor reading over this for me!<3<3

.-

~A reblog is worth a thousand stars~

.-

I am free and that is why I am lost

-Franz Kafka

.-

Henry wakes up the day before classes of his junior year exhausted, hung over, and to a positively shit-eating grin that Pez is boasting while he gleefully pushes open the blinds like the sadistic fuck that he is.

“You’ve become a real tosser ever since making out with my sister last Christmas,” Henry informs him bluntly, stretching out slowly while looking around for his shirt until coming to the realization that the bloke from last night must’ve taken it while on the walk of shame.

Henry really tries his damndest not to think of his ass taking that walk.

“Ah Beatrice, my sun and stars.” Pez magnanimously throws Henry an old henley from his still unpacked suitcase. Tosser status withstanding, He’s still Henry’s best friend, has been ever since freshman year when they found solace in each other being the only two Brits in this entire university— well the only ones that matter, anyhow.

“Oy, did you wake me up at this godforsaken hour just to wax poetic about my sister of all people?” Henry grouses, padding over to their joint bathroom to brush his teeth, wincing only slightly at the already raucous chatter going on in the downstairs of their frat house.

“Believe it or not Haz, dealing with your temperamental arse actually wasn’t on my list to do today,” Pez crows, standing there all put together and fresh and well-rested. Like a fucking monster. “But we’ve got that meeting with the Dean of Student Affairs about the room situation for rush week, and we’re still in that debate with Chi Phi’s president over it.”

Henry glares  at the reminder, a spark of fury running down his spine, and perhaps an extra thudding to his heart, but Henry’ll studiously ignore that.

“God damn Alex Claremont-Diaz.”

“Only took you around three minutes to mention him today,” Pez perks with a knowing leer. “I reckon that’s a new record..”

“Get the fuck out, Pez.”

.-

Henry was seven years old when he realized that his family were the sort of folks that end up on magazine covers and the headlines of salacious talk shows— that his dad was a renowned movie star and his ma’s the cousin of the queen of England. Henry was fifteen years old when he first started to hate as much.  When a nurse assigned to his father's hospital room leaked his death before the doctor even had time to tell them, his damn wife and kids.

Henry was sixteen and lost at sea when Philip and the bloody queen herself sat down with him to tell him that his public presence required a certain sort of image, a  discrete sort of image. An image that didn’t condone printed scarves and lingering hands with the son of a Lord who was two years ahead of him in Eton. Henry was eighteen years old when he ran off to America and learned how to keep everything hush, hush,  becoming untethered to all the bull shit surrounding him.  When he was accepted to Yale, and joined a fraternity and tried his damndest to emulate some douchebag wanker in the likeness of Philip.

And you know what, it was all going as planned until Henry met the infuriatingly arrogant, and downright mesmerizing boy in the rival fraternity. The one with an upturned nose and such big brown eyes and a delicious sort of half grin when Henry challenges him on something, or keeps him on his toes. Though if Henry’s being frank, he likes it most when Alex is keeping him on his knees, when Henry’s mouth is full and Alex’s lips are preening and he’s spouting out a sort of cursed poetry with every flick of Henry’s tongue and bobbing of his head.

Though that’s irrelevant now in the light of day when they’re on opposing sides and Alex is smirking at him from across the way with such irresistible swagger, sporting Henry’s red t-shirt that brings out the specs of golden in his almost molten eyes.

Henry hates him.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he calls out, just because he knows it makes Henry flush.

“The room’s ours, you prick,” Henry retorts, beyond mulish.

“It’s so cute when you get all flustered, Fox.”

“I’m not joking around, Alexander! That room’s been Alpha Delta Phi’s every opening week since the bloody eighties.”

“Don’t you think it’s time for a change in venue then?” Alex asks with an owlish blink, sliding lower in his seat so that his legs spread even further.

Oh fuck him. Fuck Alex Claremont-Diaz’s stupid cocky attitude and his stupid fucking face and so what if Henry just wants to just fuck him stupid. He can’t win just because Henry’s a weak, weak man.

“The room’s ours, Alex,” he warns lowly.

“You wanna prove it, pretty boy?”

Henry’s eyes flicker to the clock over the office door. It doesn’t technically open for another quarter of an hour, and they’ve worked with less time in even more compromising positions, so Henry doesn’t think twice when he tugs a very caught off-guard Alex into the bathroom down the hall, praying to God that there are no cameras around here.

“Woah there cowboy, didn’t get enough last night?” Alex grins, hands already down to unbutton Henry’s jeans.

“You’re fucking infuriating,” is all Henry says in answer, swatting Alex’s hands away before going down on his knees and tugging down the abhorrently orange basketball shorts Alex has on. God, if Henry actually cared he’d pull Alex aside and give him a lesson on what’s actually excusable to wear in public.

“Now why don’t you try to stay quiet for once,” Henry tells him in a hush, biting lightly on the skin of Alex’s inner thigh before kissing the spot in penance.

“Psha, you — erm, you like it when I’m loud.”

Henry doesn’t argue, isn’t in the mood to lie. Instead he takes him in slowly, tongue lapping around Alex’s tip and pushing down with precision.

“Ah, yeah H,” Alex blurts, about two octaves higher than his normal speaking voice, as his head hits the stall, a shaking hand curled in Henry’s hair while the other one is clenched tight around his shoulder.

Henry lets one of his hands wrap around the base of Alex’s cock as the other inches to Alex’s admittedly fantastic ass, wants this done quick and sloppy and to teach Alex a lesson that he can’t just win every argument by sitting around looking like some sort of brought to life Grecian statue.

“Henry— H,” Alex comes too close to whining, tugs harder on his hair and cants his hips forward. He at least has the decency to look sheepish. “You really need to calm down or I’m,” Alex falters right then, eyes going blown when Henry’s first finger dips into his asshole, hooking in deep before Henry takes a mouth full of him again. He repeats the action another two and a half times before Alex has to frantically tap on his head in warning, and Henry gets to stand up — more than a bit smug — smirking down at a boneless Alex who’s using the stall as his only support.

“I reckon while you clean up here, I’ll go speak with the dean on the behalf of Alpha Delta Phi,” Henry tells him, swiping his mouth with the back of his hand to get rid of the pre-cum still found there.

Alex’s brows hike up as he slowly realizes what Henry has done, breathless while he spews out a fuming, “Bastard.”

“Least you got a consolation prize love,” Henry goads, kissing him full on the mouth before adjusting himself and walking back out to the office.

Alpha Delta Phi gets the room just like they have for the past half century, and Alex fucks Henry senseless for the next week. Balance is restored.

.-

Henry thinks it’s important to note that this thing he has with Alex — well, it’s not even a thing, really. They’re fuck buddies, but no. That would imply that there is some sort of camaraderie found between them, when simply there just is not. It’s a thing of convenience, truly.

The fact of the matter is that they find one another ridiculously hot, but also can’t stand a prolonged conversation without feeling the burning need to wring the others neck by the end of it. They realized as much halfway through freshman year when they had the same English lit class and Henry had to be physically restrained by Pez when Alex was arguing against Henry’s point about Hemingway being oversaturated and a blowhard.

“He’s a classic,” Alex had charged, the snow of early February in New England cascading in his dark curls and catching in his long lashes.

“He’s only adored because he’s got a dick! Why don’t you read Austen or at least a man who has something to say!” Henry had fumed.

“Let me guess, you like Metamorphosis?”

“What do you have against Kafka?” Henry gaped, only just beginning to notice the others eyeing the pair of them. And yeah, it might’ve been bewildering how they’re arguing about literaries from centuries passed in the middle of a bonfire party, but people need to learn how to mind their own fucking business.

“Well dude, if we’re speaking about blowhards, he’s definitely the king of them,” Alex had snorted loftily, taking a swig of his spiked hot chocolate.

“Don’t call me dude,” Henry had sniffed, which made Alex squint at him, more than a bit amused.

“Okay, tell me, does Prince Douche do anything for ya, pretty boy?”

That was the first night Henry grabbed Alex by the collar and showed him what it meant to be an actual blow hard. And well….they never stopped. They didn’t stop the sniping at each other or the razor-tipped barbs being volleyed around, and especially not the fucking. Never the fucking.

But yeah, it’s not really anything, especially not the best thing. It could never be that. And not even just because his shitty family basically told him straight up that Henry could never actually come out in the public eye, Henry’s accepted that, has learned how to slink around those rules to live in some sort of happy purgatory. But the thing is, Henry’s just not a good boyfriend. He’s always too in his own head and he’s not really that attentive, and besides all that, Henry didn’t come to university to meet some bloke and live some gay romance story from the 1900s.

Henry’s here at university to get a degree, to become someone. He’s here because his father always told him to reach for the heavens, to do something beyond himself. Henry wants to be the next great literary, wants to write something that matters, that makes a difference. Something that’ll make Beatrice laugh with no more worry eclipsing the sound, and maybe even something that’ll bring the stars back in his mother’s eyes. Henry wants to say something that’s worth being said.

Henry doesn’t want to have anything getting in the way of that, preventing him from becoming someone important. But regardless, it’s not as if Alex has ever seen Henry as more than a good lay, has made it abundantly obvious throughout the year and a half  of their sleeping around. Most notably, that three month interlude when Alex began dating that boy from the student government, Liam whoever, at the end of last term. Though to be frank, Alex was always far out of Liam’s league, and the week that followed their breakup included some of the most dynamic and mind-blowing sex Henry’s ever experienced.

But that’s irrelevant.

Alex and Henry are only a last resort to one another, and it doesn’t have to mean anything more, it doesn’t have to be complicated, Henry hates it when things get complicated.

.-

Henry’s in the midst of editing his term paper on the impact that Woolf created in the discussion of gender in Orlando when he gets a text from Pez telling him to “stop being a robot.”  

Glaring, Henry ignores the text from Beatrice about David, and the email regarding alpha Delta Phi’s first charity function for this term, and the half dozen snapchat notifications from Alex alone. He instead moves to reply to Pez with a middle finger emoji before he’s accosted by a pair of hands wrapping around his eyes.

“Guess who?” an ever-amused and incredibly buoyant  voice asks.

“A prick?” Henry replies in a deadpan, making it so Alex cuffs him on the back of the head.

“Say dick you douche, you’re in America now,” he commands, taking a seat besides him in the almost empty top floor of the silent library.

“Fuck off,” Henry hisses, rubbing the tender spot. “And since when are you in the library this late?”

“You mean at three in the morning?” Alex says pointedly. “Never, because I’m normal and not a school-obsessed freakazoid like you.”

Henry sticks out his tongue in retaliation because he’s too groggy to come up with anything clever.

“And yet?”

“I’m a good person and dropped off a spare key to a brother who’s wigging out about a midterm,” Alex says, studying Henry with a peculiar amount of intensity. “Saw your pale ass haunting this place like a ghost and thought I’d bug you a little.”

“What is it?” Henry asks moodily, surprised at the lapse of silence that follows before Alex shrugs in answer.

“You’ve got some nasty circles under your eyes, white boy,” he says, not quite as crude as usual but Henry still glares in exasperation.

“So what? You got up in the middle of the night just to help a friend and criticize my looks?” Henry says with a huff, rubbing his strained eyes, only just starting to feel the exhaustion weighing heavy on his shoulders.

“I was at Nora’s place, so I was already up,” Alex says, unwittingly making it so Henry stiffens.

It’s not unusual for them to discuss each other's conquests, but it’s different when it comes to Nora. Henry knows that she and Alex had dated for a stint freshman year before the two of them  crossed paths. She’s a gorgeous and fierce computer sciences major with a minor in mathematics. There’s no way in hell that Alex isn’t still carrying a torch for her, which is fine and all, it’s not like Henry and Alex are anything beyond occasional hookups, but yeah— it still makes it so something uncomfortable is squirming right beneath the surface of his skin. And God does Henry hate it.

“How is she?” Henry asks evenly, ignores the way Alex is searing a hole into the side of his head while Henry adjusts the syntax of one of his topic sentences.

“Fine,” he says in the same detached sort of inflection. “You’re working on that paper for your gender lit class?”

“It’s due tomorrow morning,” Henry answers.

“Haven’t you been done with it for, like, a week?” Alex asks.

“Haven’t you heard that revising is the only way to get a decent paper?” Henry sniffs.

“Dude, I think you’ve edited enough,” Alex snorts. Everything always coming so fucking easy to him, it’s maddening. He’s gorgeous and charming and brilliant and he doesn’t even have to try. But worst yet, it’s not even a big deal to him. Even if he weren’t all those things he never had a family name to live up to, was never expected to be something he was not. Henry’s so fumingly envious but also so goddamn lost on him and  how it is he’s come to be.

“Alexander, is there a purpose for this ridiculous conversation?” Henry lets out a long-suffering sigh. “I really need to get back at this.”

“And what? Not sleep till tomorrow?” Alex snipes.

“If you don’t say anything worth my while in the next five seconds, I'm putting my earbuds back in and ignoring you,” Henry tells him point blank. “Five, four, three—“

Alex’s face goes a furious scarlet, jaw set, before he gets close enough that his breath skirts against Henry’s lips, and his hand finds its way to the front of his trousers.

“I’d really like it if you’d let me jerk you off right now.”

It's Henry’s turn to burn red.

“What?”

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

“We’re in public.”

“We’re in a dark library in the middle of the night and your weird ass always picks the corner surrounded by the shelves.”

“It’s always quietest,” Henry argues weakly.

“Bet we can change that,” Alex counters smugly.

Henry has already admitted that he’s a weak man, so he’s not surprised when Alex’s challenge actually works and he’s led to the most concealed corner with heated kisses and impatient grappling tugging him closer.

“You’re unruly,” Henry whines when Alex bites down at the hinge where the column of his neck meets his shoulder.

“And you’re really sexy when you’re all focused and nibbling down on that pen,” Alex leers, pulling himself and Henry out of their pants. “Really gets a guy imagining things.”

Henry swallows down, hard.

“What sorts of things?” He asks lightly.  

“You know H,” Alex croons,  gets a hand locked around each of them, knocking the breath out of Henry and making it so he’s gripping at the shelves, bracketing Alex on either side. “You get this little dent between your brows,” he leans forwards and nibbles against Henry’s neck once more. “’S the same one you get right before you cum.”

“Oh yeah?” Henry asks, pleads as he jerks into Alex’s hand, watching the moonlight dancing in his hair and tracing his strong features with a romantic sort of gentleness. Holy fuck, is he beautiful.

Okay, so Henry might’ve said that last part out loud, but he doesn’t even care because Alex’s grin goes lopsided, and he kisses the corner of Henry’s mouth and everything goes a blinding white when Alex strokes him over the edge.

“You are really something, Henry Fox,” Alex says in a voice that’s caught between befuddlement and a sort of wondrous intrigue. Henry can’t really reply though, feels heavy and sated and like he really wants to curl up with Alex. But that’s a ridiculous notion and Henry needs to get those thoughts out his mind or else this’ll all be ruined.

“You’re like an orgasm fairy,” Henry tells him in a yawn.

“I want that for my epithet,” Alex winks, gently pushing Henry’s overstimulated cock back into his briefs and zipping him back up. “I’m calling one of the vans if you want to join, our houses are the same way,”

Henry blinks, confused. “I can’t,” He tells him with a hint of irritation. “I’ve got to finish that paper.”

Alex frowns fully now, pinning him with a one-eyed squint.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead.”

“This’s how I always look after sex,” Henry contends, unconvincing to his own ears.

“You’re gonna run yourself into your own grave if you don’t give yourself a break,” Alex tells him, near fuming.

“Then that’ll be my own doing,” Henry says, steadfast.

“That’s fucking psychotic,” Alex hisses and Henry hates how he can’t understand why this, being here, being worth something greater than just a jumble of letters and familial connection, is so important to Henry.

“’S not your life to live,”  he shrugs, turning away from Alex.

“You don’t have to be the best to be worth anything, Henry,” he calls after him, cutting and cruel and careless.

Henry feels like he’s been caught out, like he can’t breathe. And how dare Alex, how dare he pretend that their situations are at all similar. Like there aren’t chasms separating them.

“Fuck you, Alexander.”

“I mean that’s all you ever want, isn’t it?”

There’s a sound like Alex kicking a chair but Henry doesn’t know for sure, refuses to turn around and check.

.-

It’s been two weeks since the library incident.

Neither of them has texted first, not even glancing in the other’s direction in the one class they share. And it’s good, it’s fine, it’s whatever. Henry’s never wanted anything more than a consistent fuck, and Alex has got dozens of options of incredibly pretty and incredibly smart and incredibly affable people just like him. He doesn’t need Henry and Henry doesn’t need him.

It’s fine.

“It doesn’t look fine, mate,” Pez tells Henry that Friday night with knit brows and a worried expression splayed out all over his face. Henry doesn’t answer in so many words, just tosses him the bird instead. “Right, good talk.”

“It’s nothing, Pez,” Henry insists, taking a drag of his joint and pretending that it helps.

“Then come to the party with us tonight, yeah? It’s Spencer’s birthday and I know he’d be a total mess if you actually tagged along to get drunk with us commoners.”

Henry glares with feeling but accepts the offer merely to prove his point that whatever happened between him and Alex means nothing.

Admittedly, that notion might’ve been thrown out the godforsaken window when the party goes into full swing and Henry finally catches sight of Alex near the beer pong table, laughing with Liam of all fucking people.

They look happy, happier than Henry’s ever seen him.

Henry feels cold all over.

He doesn’t know why he’s acting like this, doesn’t understand the reason why his stomach’s twisting into knots and his veins are spiking with a truly awful emotion and why his ribcage has cracked open, screaming at Alex, telling him to notice, to look at Henry, to see that he’s here, dammit. To see that Henry’s here and whole and has so much to give him even if it looks like the contrary.

Henry doesn’t understand any of it, so he ignores the feelings and races up stairs to his room, crossly slamming his door shut and cursing at his own stupidity.

Like he does whenever he’s overwhelmed, Henry grabs for one of the novels lining his shelf and gets lost in the fictitious lives penned in black and white, lives far away from his reach, lives that Henry could get lost in studying and forget his own for only a little while. It’s what he did when Bea and Philip were doing grown up things and he was stuck at home all alone. What he did for days on end in the hospital room, reading to his father while he faded away bit by bit. It’s what he did to forget the fact that his own brother wants him to hide himself in all his varieties of light.

It’s the one constant in Henry’s life and he does it now, gets lost in the words and tries to forget the throbbing to his own heart.

It’s the first time it doesn’t work.

.-

Henry doesn’t know how much time passes when his door creaks open and he looks up to a face he put to memory long ago, even if he pretended otherwise.

“Alexander?”

“Cinderella,” he grins, slow and warm like molasses. “‘How cruel, your veins are made of ice water, and mine are boiling.’”

Henry’s heart feels like it’s just lodged into his throat, his eyes never leaving Alex’s own.

“Excuse me?”

“Wuthering Heights,” he says nonchalantly with a one-armed shrug while stepping closer into the room and pushing the door shut. “It’s your favorite book to read when you’re overwhelmed.”

Henry’s lips pinch, sitting up completely now, regarding Alex fully. “Is that right?”

“Mhmm. You like Sense and Sensibility when you’ve done well on a paper. And you have a secret copy of Little Women stuffed under your bed for whenever Bea messages you and you begin to miss her.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a stalker, Alexander,” Henry says, pretending that the butterflies swarming in his belly are just from nerves of speaking to him after so long and not from the pleasure of him knowing Henry without his evening realizing it.

“You’re not that difficult to figure out, Fox. I’ve told you: you’re just a bimbo with great legs and an accent that makes people think you know two shits about anything.” Alex flops stomach first on Henry’s bed, his head resting up against Henry’s thigh. It’s against Henry’s will when his hand moves forwards to card through Alex’s mussed curls.

“Charming, you’re truly so charming, Alexander. Do you know that?” Henry says blithely.

“The newspapers call me charismatic,” he smirks airily, making it so Henry can’t help but snort.

“Prick.”

“Says the guy who ghosted me,” Alex counters.

“The phone works both ways, love,” he says condescendingly, hating how something golden and splendid is coiling somewhere deep inside of him, merely to due with Alex’s presence.

“Pfft.” Alex gets up now so that they’re face to face, brown eyes boring into blue. “Do you know what you told me after the first night we slept together?”

Henry doesn’t have the slightest clue, so he just shrugs helplessly. “You’ve got a good mouth?”

“Shut the fuck up, you ass. I’m being serious.”

“So am I?”

“You called me a fucking distraction,” Alex hurls, like it’s been something that’s been clawing against him for a while now, itching to be spoken, clacking against his teeth and finally pouring out with vengeance. “You said you had to do well in your studies and you didn’t need a distraction.”

Henry furrows his brows, confused to the point he’s trying to make.

“And you agreed, if memory serves me well,” He says defensively.

“Yeah, because I wasn’t about to be rejected by some rich, pretty boy.”

“I hope you thought a bit more of me than that,” Henry teases, inches closer to him so that the tips of their fingers touch on the bedding.

“You also have a truly remarkable shoulder-to-waist ratio.” Alex shrugs, and Henry knows he’s trying to be a shit, but he still preens. Likes the reminder that Alex is just as much into him as he is Alex.

“I don’t see what’s wrong here.”

Alex shoves at Henry’s forearm, hard.

“The problem, you prick, is that for some fucked-up reason I was actually into you, like a lot.”

Henry’s head swings up from where it was lazily gazing at Alex’s lips, waiting for a chance to kiss them.

“Like truly into me? Like you want to go steady and out on dates and spend the night in my bed?”

“I mean, whatever the non-old man sounding equivalent of that is,” Alex tacitly agrees, head cocked like he’s trying to parse out Henry’s own feelings.

And for his part, Henry can’t believe what he’s hearing, what Alex’s saying, what he’s confirming. This must be a dream, a figment of Henry’s imagination. Stuff like this doesn’t happen to him, they happen to the protagonists of his favorite stories, not real life.

“Wh—What? Why?”

“Dude, that’s what I’ve been asking myself for the past year and a half,” Alex gripes, rocking back; Jesus fuck, he’s nervous. He’s just admitted all his feelings like that and he’s waiting for Henry to either confirm or shoot him down. Henry’s the one with the upper hand here, and it’s awful.

Holy fuck.

“You—you said you liked me,” Henry says tentatively. “But now, do you—erm, ahem,” Henry coughs awkwardly, and Alex is gracious enough to answer the unspoken query.

“I didn’t break up with Liam last semester because he didn’t root for the Cowboys, dumbass.”

“Oh,” Henry blinks, befuddled, which makes Alex roll his head back so fiercely that Henry’s afraid he might strain something.

“I broke up with him because I’ve got this massive, irrecoverable, disgusting thing for this blonde prick. A douche who puts too much on his shoulders and tries to prove something to someone who isn’t even here, and who is so goddamn dense that I have to spell my feelings out to him like he’s actually a frat bro instead of just pretending to be.”

Henry feels himself going scarlet, feels it how his heart blossoms with wanting, unrestrained and painful in its ferocity.

“But Nora?”

Alex’s face goes blank, and then a sickly green color. “Dude, why are you bringing my sister’s girlfriend into this?”

“Wait—You’re not? I thought you still had a, erm—a thing for her?”

“She’s not the one I just gave a Twilight-level cringe speech to, is she?” Alex harrumphs, crossing his arms and scowling at a point over Henry’s shoulder.

“So, you really like me?” Henry asks hopefully.

“I swear to God, Fox: if you don’t tell me how you feel in the next five seconds I’m going to—“

Alex stops speaking right then, is interrupted by Henry’s slamming lips and desperate palming and long limbs tangling into one another.

“You’re a monster,” Alex pants once Henry’s lips finally unlatch from his and Henry’s almost tearing off his shirt.

“I can’t believe you actually want this,” Henry says in contrary. “I’m a mess, you do realize as much, don’t you?”

Alex looks endeared when he smiles, shrugging helplessly. “I like messes.”

Henry can’t help the laugh he lets out, relishes when Alex finally gets a good hold of him and lays him back so that they’re pressed skin to skin and he’s spouting out nonsense about Henry’s eyes and mouth and dick, each point punctuated  with a kiss across Henry’s protruding collarbone, helps him shed off the last of his clothing.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,”Alex marvels, making Henry’s cheeks redden and causing him to hide it by kissing along Alex’s jaw.

“I’ve liked you for so long,” Henry can admit in the blanket of night, is soft when he slants their lips back up against each other, back arching when he feels Alex pressing inside of him, stretching him out. He’s always so gentle with Henry, even before this was supposed to mean anything. But, holy fuck, who’s he kidding––this has always meant something, even when Henry pretended otherwise.

“You’re the most stubborn fuck I’ve ever met,” Alex tells him, making it sound like an exaltation. “You always had your mind set, know exactly where you’re gonna go.”

Henry groans when Alex puts in the second slicked up finger, followed quickly by the third.

“Ah-Alex, ‘Lex, please.”

“You’re so smart and beautiful, and you have such a good heart.” Alex just keeps on talking, only stopping occasionally to pepper a kiss on a spot around Henry’s face.

Henry feels his eyes prickle with wetness, knows that it’s a combination of feeling so much and feeling so exposed, so open in Alex’s eyes.

“You’re amazing, sweetheart,” Alex whispers, kisses the tears away before he lines up and thrusts into him, something this side of painful with the first couple canting of the hips, until he hits that miraculous point that makes Henry’s insides go feral and something ferocious unfurl within him.

“Alexander, please. Please, love, please,” Henry pleads, hands scratching against Alex’s back and head tossed with yearning.

“You’re so good, so perfect, Henry,” Alex says like an oath, pushing deeper and harder into him, biting down on Henry and making him shout as he cants his hips up to meet each of Alex’s own.

Alex is spouting out a new round of praises towards Henry’s brilliance and butt and beauty and Henry can hardly handle it, feels the white streaks landing on his belly right before Alex begins speeding up in a graceless round of thrusts, finishing  with a blown out expression, slowly pulling out and tossing the condom to the trash bin beside the bed.

He collapses half on top of Henry but he doesn’t mind, moves slightly so that the blanket is covering the both of them and kisses Alex’s shoulder tenderly.

“I think I might love you,” he whispers, snuggling closer to Alex.

“Good,” he yawns, slings an arm around Henry’s torso and curves against him. “Makes us even.”

.-

Next week Henry calls Philip and tells him to kiss his ass, and that he doesn’t have to prove shit to anyone.

“You’re sexy when you’re mad,” Alex tells Henry when he hangs up.

“You always think I’m sexy,” Henry sniffs loftily.

“Guilty as charged.” Alex shrugs, pulls up to kiss him senseless once more, making everything go delirious.

[bi-dazai]

ok my bsd predictions for major plot points in the future

1.

If dazai were to be killed off in bsd, chuuya would probably be killed with him in a final act of coded symbiosis.

Tbh tho that's such a major thing that it probably wouldn't happen until when the manga is finishing up so

2.

Chuuya will either become the PM Boss or he'll join the ADA.

So chuuya is strongly suggested in two ways for his future which is HM INTERESTING. So the way that Mori clearly recruits him not just for his ability but for his leadership skills, plus the how chuuya has been developing those skills, is something I was thinking about a lot in S3. Mori is very clearly not happy with Dazai being the heir, even though he was the best choice. Dazai would have probably killed Mori and taken his place by the time he was 20 if odasaku hadn't died. Chuuya has loyalty to the mafia plus the fighting and leadership abilities. He's also got a certain obedience and controllability that if Mori was to step aside and not die he would like. Also something ppl forget is that chuuya is actually good at negotiation and staying calm under pressure, it's suggested that dazai particularly triggers his anger because dazai is an annoying shit who seems to be in canon attached to him whenever they're in the same room.

HOWEVER. Now I don't think I've ever said this on this blog despite me constantly thinking about it but Fukuzawa's ability is the perfect thing for Chuuya, as it has the possibility of actually reigning in corruption. If chuuya joined the ADA he would actually be able to use corruption's ability of throwing black holes without losing control of himself. Arguably that would also get rid of the need for dazai's intervention although it's been established that skk were thought of as a perfect fighting duo for a year before corruption even first manifested in a fight, so I don't think this would kill skk. And chuuya joining the ADA would mean that he and dazai have to interact on the daily. It also means that the mafia is left without any clear heir. People have vouched for kouyou in this situation but I think it's clear that kouyou is being forced to be in the mafia, she's given up on leaving and doesn't want to be there actively.

I don't think the second outcome is very possible plotwise for a few reasons. These are all totally writer's arguments so appeals to logic and plot aren't exactly going to work here, but as a writer myself these are the planning issues that stick out extremely badly if we get chuuya to defect:

- it would have to take something extremely major to get chuuya to leave the loyalty of the mafia

- chuuya becomes even more OP. asagiri kafka has said that though he really likes chuuya (as evidenced by the amount of goddamn times chuuya comes up in the novels), he avoids putting him in the manga because chuuya is extremely overpowered. If he and dazai were logically paired together for each issue every arc would be solved far too quickly for things like character development, or like...story...to take place. This is why chuuya is constantly sidelined. You have to actively make it so that chuuya isn't on people's minds constantly, or get him out of the picture immediately, so that your narrative can actually develop. Chuuya is honestly a mistake in a writing sense. But he's a strong character and he and dazai were written in tandem to each other so he's absolutely unremovable. A character like chuuya NEEDS to exist. So the way chuuya has been toned down is Corruption. Chuuya's ability by itself is just...incredibly powerful. He's virtually indestructible. However Corruption, the ultimate form, is shown to actively kill chuuya. The only times we've seen corruption used is cthulu, shibusawa, and shibusawa big dragon, all extreme threats. So chuuya's life when he's pulled out as the deus ex machina is tied to dazai. This makes chuuya's unchecked OP a little less unchecked and a little less OP. Chuuya is actually a fantastic example of why you CAN have OP characters, you just have to write them a certain way.

However in writing them a certain way, the most stupid thing you could do for your narratives would be to bring corruption under control, and to bring chuuya into the group of protagonists. you have to find excuses in every problem to why chuuya can't just come out and handle this himself, like you were before but now dazai's absence isn't an issue PLUS your readers are paying more attention to chuuya because he's around all the time.

So yeah, chuuya being in the ADA would be a bad choice narrative wise unless it was for like...one arc or smth. Chuuya becoming the next boss of the port mafia is wayyyyy more likely to me. I don't think chuuya would like it but he's really the most obvious choice

3.

Dostoyevsky/rat arc is going to be mega arc/s.

one of the exciting things abt this series is that I have no idea how long this conflict with the rats will go on for. At first I thought it would be an occasional and ongoing plotline that is explored not as one big set arc but interspersed with other non-rat arcs. However by the way it's going it looks like we have two options, either 1) the rat issue is being dealt with across one mega-arc or 2) rat issues will still be dealt with like I thought, interspersed, but each time they pop up it will be a mega-arc like it has been so far. I genuinely don't know how this will be resolved, and I'm actually kind of wondering if the characters will finally leave kanagawa prefecture and maybe head to Russia to defeat the rats. I think this could be a good start to travelling the characters to settings outside yokohama.

4.

Agatha Christie is going to be matched up to Ranpo.

Like Dostoyevsky is dazai's foil because their works IRL were similar in tone, Agatha Christie and Ranpo match up in that way perfectly. We've already met the trick foil (we thought he would be, but he wasn't) for Ranpo in Poe (IRL Poe actually did write mystery at times, and his works do contain elements of suspense and unknown). Ranpo is clearly going through hell in this arc which makes me feel like he's going to start being a much more major character in the future.

Agatha Christie and Edogawa Ranpo's works both fit in the mystery genre and were both alive irl around the same time. They both played historic roles in developing the mystery genre of their language's literature and are pretty well-known in non-literature circles because mystery often has a pulp, mass-consumable aspect to it. It was actually surprising to me that they were made into characters considering the other characters are named after authors of much "higher grade" Literature, as in Literature capital L. Mystery authors especially like Agatha Christie don't fit that bill, but they've played a central role in developing the fiction industry so I don't find it odd. Plus there's a bit of a debate what counts as Literature and every person has different opinions. Mine differs to asagiri kafka's which evidently seems to be that if the author has had a significant impact on the literary field then their works become Literature, thus they become 文豪 (Literary masters), thus they become a bsd character. I think that's fair, even if it isn't what I would personally say Literature is. This is par for the course tho lol, p sure any person who is into Literature will have a different thing to say about what gets that capital L.

But yeah, I think Ranpo and Christie are clearly going to be each others foils.

5.

Christie is going to be cold. Like. COLD.

Dostoyevsky is more obvious evil, it shows on the surface. But Christie will have a polite veneer, a charm to her. We've seen her in a shot, and she sits tall, she enjoys tea, she dresses expensively and lives in colourful rooms. But she had no hesitation to destroy Yokohama if a situation wasn't dealt with within half an hour in the cruelest way possible. Christie was actively ready to incinerate Yokohama alive, that was her first instinct when contacted for help. Christie very clearly has a lack of care for the lives of others, OR she wants to destroy Yokohama in particular. However considering this is the goal of Dostoyevsky and Christie will probably be the next major villain after Dostoyevsky, repeating that goal and motivation is pretty boring and not very bungou stray dogs.

6.

The order of the clock tower will not come to yokohama first.

The Guild were the ones to come to yokohama and threaten it up close. The order of the clock tower was a major threat to yokohama from across the continent. That's terrifying. The ADA/Mafia will have to work proactively

7.

The end of the clock tower will have major repercussions.

The order of the clock tower seems to have its claws in everything and has a tight maintenance of leadership and control over almost every gifted organisation we've met. The Order seems to literally keep order. But they've clearly got a goal with sending the guild and the rats after the book. If the order is destroyed then certain aspects of gifted society slip loose and create new problems. This will probably be the creator of an arc or two after the order arc is over.

8.

Chuuya's backstory is linked to Dazai's.

Chuuya was used by the military and experimented on until he could contain a god of destruction, after which he went haywire, blasted a huge crater in yokohama, and became a feral child.

Dazai was...we don't know. The furthest back we can tell is that some time in his early teens he was taken in by Mori. Before that he was apparently wandering around trying to find some kind of emotion, something to make him feel. He eventually found that with the violence and adrenaline rush of the mafia.

Now I don't think that dazai is a psychopath. It's easy to say he is with the way he seems to talk about the hole in his heart and the absence and emptiness. However dazai very very clearly cares. He cares about odasaku, he cares about atsushi, he cares about the ADA, and he even cares about chuuya (this is not my shipper brain talking, I am literally talking about canon). Dazai very clearly CARES. He isn't a psychopath.

My belief is that dazai is the most clear argument for my case that the series is about mental illness and self worth. Dazai very clearly has a major depressive disorder.

I also think that dazai is extremely traumatised. Obviously he's traumatised by being in the mafia at 15 and by odasaku's death, but I also think dazai may have been traumatised even before then.

Atsushi is dazai's mentee, the half of shin soukoku. He's shown to have childhood trauma. Akutagawa also has childhood trauma. Chuuya has childhood trauma. This may be a coincidence but almost every main character in this series has some form of early trauma.

Dazai IRL was not called Dazai Osamu. Dazai Osamu is actually a very sad name but Dazai's birth name is Tsushima Shuuji. IRL dazai/Tsushima was the son of a rich family that lived in Aomori prefecture (which is very rural lol). Dazai had an absent father and a sick mother and wasnt raised by his parents but rather by servants and his aunt. His father died when he was young (not that he got very old) and his life was plagued by constantly running off with girls, getting his allowance cut for being a marxist, and, yes, suicide attempts.

So my ideas for how this may translate into bsd dazai is this:

- dazai ran away from home when he was young

- dazai never had a good parental figure

- dazai is from a rich family in a rural area very far away. Like for those who don't know Aomori is at the northern tip of Honshū, just below Hokkaido. Yokohama is just south of Tokyo. The region in between is mostly forest and smaller cities. Most of Japan's (major) cities are cloistered around Tokyo and Kyoto and Fukuoka which are towards the south. So dazai is a country boy who has wandered japan after running away from home.

- dazai's real name is Tsushima Shuuji and there's a personal reason he's distanced himself from that. This one im not sure about but yeah

- thus follows that why would dazai be so fucked up if he isn't a psychopath and he did come from a rich family? Dazai to me reads that something major happened. In shin skk it's clear that atsushi and alutagawa share a past of abuse at the hands of parental figures and loneliness. With all the similarities and parallels drawn between the characters in skk and shin skk it seems logical to me that chuuya's past of torture may be similar to Dazai's in a way. It would be disappointing to me if dazai's past was covered and it didn't in some way affect him. The clearest parallel between skk is that they both lacked parental figures most if not their entire lives.

There's also this comment that dazai makes when the head of atsushi's orphanage dies. It's that relationships with fathers are messy and even if they were terrible it's natural to cry. This seems like bsd dazai may share irl dazai's father's death early in his life. It's hinted therefore that dazai's father was either abusive or neglectful and died when dazai was younger.

Anyway this went longer than I thought it would but I invest far too much brain time into bsd so it's gotta seep out at some point lol