#i was gonna be upset that i didn't finish this project but now the idea of it finishing seems wholly achievable and that's wonderful

[beauzos]

me earlier this year: SOBR probably won't go above 90k words since i imagine every act is about 30k words give or take?

me recently: okay, it'll be 120k words at max

me now: ok. it'll PROBABLY be no more than 150k-

[g4yforethan]

new idea

pairing: peter parker x male!reader

summary: peter is sad but reader knows just the way to help him

warnings: cursing, top!reader, bottom!peter parker, reader and character are 18+

a/n: been a while since i've written so if this seems all over the place pls forgive mee

you were on your way to peter's house to finish the project you two had been assigned. he had texted you to come over but earlier in class, he looked upset and stressed. you thought you would be able to cheer him up so you brought a movie along to watch together. you arrived and rang the doorbell and aunt may opened it. “oh hi y/n! it’s been so long.” the both of you hugged. “hi aunt may! where’s peter?” she looked towards his room. “he’s in his room right now. PETER Y/N IS HERE! anyways come on in, i’m gonna go to the store and get some food. you’re welcome to stay for dinner.” “aww thank you aunt may. it’s good seeing you.” she smiled and closed the door.

“PETERR! where are youuu?” you went to open the door to his room and saw him in his bed with the covers over his head. you went over to him and removed the blanket to see his cute and soft face. “peter what’s wrong?” “nothing y/n just feeling out of it that’s all.” an idea sparked in your head and so you went over to his bed and started massaging his thigh. “thanks y/n but i don’t know if i’m in the mood right now.” peter said as he looked at you with his puppy dog eyes. you grabbed his face and stared at him in his eyes. “trust me peter this’ll make you feel better.” you leaned in and touched his sweet, soft lips. you stopped to look at him and saw him still puckering for a kiss. you laughed and he opened his eyes as his face turned red. “you look so cute like that. you want more?” “yes please.” he said in a shy voice.

you grabbed his and laid him on his back and continued kissing his face and went down towards his neck. his soft moans turned you on even more as you left hickies all over his neck and chest. "i wanna fuck you so bad." you said as you massaged his crotch. "fuck me please."peter begged for your cock as he took off his pants and underwear. you did the same and flipped peter over with his ass facing towards you. you started licking his hole and slowly putting one finger inside. peter's moans filled the room as he arched his back ready for your cock. you listened as you slowly entered his tight hole. your grabbed onto his waist and continued fucking him. each stroke you gave become stronger and faster. peter reached his hand out, begging for you to stop, but you didn't.

you flipped peter over on his back and lifted his legs up. you rubbed your fingers on his hole before putting your dick back inside of him. you fucked his hole for a few more minutes before it was time to cum. "fuck peter. i'm gonna cum." he looked at you in your eyes. "cum inside me y/n." you listened and came inside of him wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders. he rubbed your back and kissed your neck before you flipped over laying next to him. "so how do you feel now? better?" you asked him as he smiled and kissed you. "yeah of course. way better." the two of you kissed before a knock interrupted you both.

[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

1/100 days of getting my life back together

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

So I decided to try to do a thing for the first time ever since forever - try to start having a blog(?) again, because, well, the brain rot is real. I've deleted twitter for now to give my brain some rest, because a lot of things were stressing me out.

My life has been a real mess the last few months and I really need to get my shit back together. This semester was the biggest flop so far (which is not to say that much - it's only a second one, but still) and I'm really upset about it.

I've come off one of my meds, that were making me insanely sleepy whenever I tried to focus (still have no idea whether that was a real thing or no, but they either way were not doing anything for me), got back on antidepressants, that are a-okay to me, at least side effects wise, and I was hoping that NOW I will be so much better at school. It got so much worse.

Not my room, but the vibes sum everything up quite perfectly. Everything feels insanely hard to do. I feel like a failure. I'm stressed and lost, but we persevere to the best of our abilities.

Anyway, I am writing this post one day after the 3rd of July, because I figured I should start somewhere, and despite wanting to have the first entry be as perfect as I want to become later, I figured that I have already tried that approach earlier, and it always falls off. Maybe it's better to start bad, slowly trying to build up all the habits and changes.

After all it is 100 days of trying to get my life together, not 100 days of describing my life being together.

Anyway, on 3rd of July I wanted to do some document related work and do some job applications, but because of fucking up my sleep schedule days prior to finish an assignment (which I got 100% for, insanely), I could not resist falling asleep in the day and then waking up late in the evening. That then scaled to 4th of July night, when I could not fall asleep again until 4 am, and the cycle repeated again.

So, yeah. T'was a flop. I didn't do anything good or productive for studying. The only thing I managed to accomplish was tidying up the place a little, but not the dishes. Luckily, my boyfriend helped me with that. It feels so much better to be able to work as a team on tasks that feel this big and unbearable.

2/100 days of getting my life back together

Thursday, July 4, 2024

It is currently 13:44 as I am writing this. Woke up (or more so, thankfully, got woken up by my boyfriend) by about 12:30. Still feel very poopy, but in today's plans are to do some studying for the first out of my two exams, and maybe a little bit for the second one.

DB 2

DB 3

SE2

dishes

DB 4

Probably will keep editing this post for any relevant updates that are not shitposts.

15:08 - 16:02 finished the db2 and 3 bits, 3rd one was way shorter than I expected. it turned out that I already had a set of flashcards on quizzlet there on it, so that was a win. originally was planning to study for one hour, but then finished 6 mins earlier, because my brain was fried and finished the dishes on my break. now back to studying

16:17 - 18:01 finished working on the SE2, but the lecture was kinda short and won't be that important at the exam, so I can't say I studied it properly. i will put more thought into it later (maybe), but not for now, since my ass is BURNING from the heat of upcoming deadline for the exams and there are more complex things i need to learn. started working on DB 4, which was an addition on initially planned to-do list. a little more than 1.5 hours of trying to understand the lecture made my brain feel GONE. i started to feel very irritated at the end, so im gonna be taking a break.

18:36 - 19:52 some minecraft break for mindlessly and quietly doing some things around our base. cleaned up the ground for where i want to build our house, transferred some stuff and organized it in a new chests system. the project will take A LOT of time so yuh. did i spend too much time on it? yes. will i do it again? also yes, probably. then we ate some dinner and now im comming back to some studying and note taking.

21:09 - 22:22

did some more note taking on DB4, not finished with it yet, but I think I'll call it a day for today. I'll probably play some more Minecraft before sleep and reread my notes and flashcards too. overall I feel still kind of unsatisfied with the day and its' results, I think mostly because of this is 1.5 hour game break, but it is what it is for now. overall I guess I did do some stuff done today, so it's still a win, right?

[real-life-cloud]

Hey uhh I vaguely remember reading in your tags somewhere some time maybe long ago that you were homeschooled, do you mind me asking just generally what that was like? Don‘t share if you don‘t want to

Y'know what, sure! I like telling stories and oversharing on the internet tbh. Strap in lol it got long.

Tldr; homeschooling was isolating, it definitely set me back socially. The self paced nature of the work put way too much pressure on me, and now I have terrible choice paralysis and rarely finish a project I start. If you or someone you know is considering homeschooling someone, make sure they know what they're getting into.

A lot of homeschooled kids were put into that kind of schooling because their parents want to monitor them. That's not healthy. I'm sure that's not how it is every time and that there's applications of homeschooling that work for people, but it needs to be done well. Kids need to be properly socialized, supported, and given the privacy they need.

Some background info on why I left public: There was an incident where a teacher yelled at me for no good reason in front of the entire student body during lunch. (I was holding a piece of paper (THAT ANOTHER TEACHER GAVE ME FOR HIM TO SIGN) in the lunchroom which wasn't allowed??) I was EXTREMELY embarrassed and anxious around that teacher from then on. I got moved to a different class so I didn't have to be near him. The guidance counselor was really helpful during the whole thing.

OKAY storytime 📖

"Homeschooling" can mean a couple different things , I did it two different ways at points in my life. I feel like the first thing ppl think of is being taught at home by a tutor or parent, but I wasn't homeschooled in this way. And I was in public school until about 7th grade actually!

However, my mom was super mad, and wanted to talk to the man that yelled at me, but the principal wouldn't let her. They kept giving excuses as to why but the jist was: the guy was an asshole and they knew it. SO mom got fed up with the staff and just pulled me out of public school altogether. It was actually my idea! The thought of seeing that teacher again was so upsetting that I just wanted to leave.

[ I feel like I should also mention that I grew up religious and that it was super common for kids to be homeschooled in my church; you were looked up to for homeschooling your kid bc it "kept them away from bad association" and "gave them more time to devote to god." So my mom didn't really fight me on the suggestion. ]

First, I did cyber school! I was in cyber school from 7th - 10th ish. I was given a laptop that blocked anything fun (but not well, so I zipped right past all the blocks lol) and had online classes. It was similar to how I think school worked during covid? No cameras yet tho, just a teacher on VC with power point slides and a chatroom for students. I was a pretty good student up until this point, but I started barely scraping by a lot of classes and failing others. I think I retook pre algebra 3 times? I passed with a very low D 🫶

And SOME classes were self paced. Those were the Fucking Worst. No teacher, not really. I could technically email a teacher with questions but I was a horribly anxious little 14 yr old so no way was I gonna do that. I remember one year I had a civics class that was self paced and I was so lost and stressed about it that I procrastinated til the entire course had like a week til it was due. And it wasn't just tests, I had to make multiple power points on different topics throughout the course. I had a complete emotional breakdown in front of my mom cause I'd been hiding this from her. I was so afraid she'd be mad, but she helped me finish everything on time. She basically did like half of it for me, bless her. God I hated that class.

So at this point school is going. Kind of really bad. My grades suck and half the time I cheat. I don't really have friends because all I do is sit on my laptop and go to church with my family. I didn't have any contact with my old school friends because they weren't a part of my religion. (Jehovah's Witnesses are super exclusive and cult-y) And teenage me has just realized they're not straight!

Like many isolated, repressed, gay teenagers, I mainly expressed myself online. But a few months after I turned 16, my parents found my secret email account that was connected to all my private social media. It was very apparent I was gay. So I outed myself by accident. They pretty much took away all my access to the internet and started paying super close attention to the media I consumed. I'm just glad they didn't go to our church elders and tell on me for my sins or whatever. Life continued as "normal" with them just. Pretending it didn't happen and hoping and praying that I'd magically turn straight. I actually recently found out that my parents NEVER talked about my sexuality with each other during this stage. They just completely avoided the topic.

[ another note, my entire immediate family is actually out of that religion now, and everybody's cool with the gay thing 🫶 my dad actually told me that my coming out is what made him question some things with our religion. ]

But then it became a question of what I was supposed to do for school. I couldn't be on the Websites That Turn You Gay, but I was also doing bad in school and would be put behind a grade or two. Not to mention I was terribly anxious and hadn't really socialized with people my age for the past 3 or so years.

That's how I started correspondence schooling! Another kind of home schooling. It's exactly what it sounds like. The school sends you books and tests, then you mail back the finished papers to be graded. And you might be thinking, Cloudy didn't you just go over how much you hated the self paced classes in cyber? This sounds just like that but worse! And I would say why yes, anon, I did! Such a good memory!! Gold star for you ⭐

This schooling didn't go great, as you could imagine... I think I finished two classes? This didn't have any time limit, however. So why on earth would I feel any pressure to do anything? Overall it was a giant waste of money. I just kept not doing it! Then life got super crazy, I won't go into detail but it was a rollercoaster of family drama, my mental health being at the worst it ever was, and leaving that religion. And then covid!!!! Everything happens so much 😞

I was so far from my diploma that I gave up on finishing my classes and started focusing on getting my GED. This took me another 2 years lol. I finally got it last summer!! I also landed a new job in the spring after being unemployed for a little over a year. And I just got my driver's license last week! It's taken me a longgggg time but my life is on the roll again. This is probably more than you were asking about but yeah.

[alitgblog]

"live" blogging s7, vol 1 (some analysis, some jokes lol)

first off, I totally forgot there were other casa amor girls so opening the app to see them on the banner I was like oooo

the S7 MC isn't too bad art wise, like it's definitely better than I thought with the preview, but

I do think the skinnier size MC is super skinny and the bigger one is not that much bigger, which is a little disappointing (always appreciate more size inclusion). ideally I think there would be one more size up i think but I do understand that means they'd have to fix all the clothes 3 times.

speaking of clothes they've always been bad at the beginning of the season since like s4 and this is no exception. I wish we got more options in the beginning and then the others they tack on later

the skin tones really are only three shades with each having one warmer variation, which is kind of nice to have people get that option in tone, but I do still wish there were more shades variation in between (and darker ones in general)

for absolutely no reason I have decided that my MC is also gonna be the S5 MC from my first playthrough getting a second chance after a second failed relationship with Suresh (let's just pretend she didn't win her season lol) and she's cute in this style (but again i wish we had the right skin tone for her). I guess if fusebox is backing out of bringing back Eddie then I'm bringing my MC

Her name is Junie and she's doing a lot better now mentally and has gained a little bit of healthy weight and finally loves herself now so fusebox better not make an embarrassment out of her again.

this actually works out pretty well bc usually the casa amor girls on the show arrive at the same time unless something is special about one of them who can show up separately like MC does here (ok fine I've only seen that happen in LI USA S5 and I guess s6 of the game)

Ep 1

Bonnie being an LI feels solely like penance for me thinking Iona was hot but sad she wasn't even a friend really let alone an LI in s3 so thank you but for narrative purposes I'm making Junie straight

Uma is gorgeous

also fusebox is not beating the reused assets allegations even those poses are just too eerily familiar

"I wanna try the slow burn" *has war flashbacks to the Ozzy route I never finished*

short king raf

ok Alex picking MC when Summer was flirting so hard is actually very funny to me

I understand bc it's a gem choice i didn't pick that we didn't get the last card but very funny that they were like we're just not gonna give Summer a chance at all actually

Let's goooo confirmed Joyo is Indonesian (I'm filipino so i was hoping filipino so I could draw him singing karaoke but I am here for any southeast Asian representation at all 🥳)

however I am upset with the use of "rizz" again. maybe once or twice but if they do it again I'm rioting

Alex nerding out is so cute. also who wouldn't want a bob the builder boyfriend for home improvement projects lol

am i too old to understand what normcore is?? like I barely understand e-girl aesthetic but there's more??

Bryson and his sister Jess have the most realistic sibling relationship from the last two seasons bc I also would mess with my brother's partners. and I once again am mourning the idea of a protective brother slow burn storyline in s6 instead of whatever Amelia was doing

"I won't bore you with the details" no pls do it I wanna know and I don't wanna pay the gems

all the guys have great personalities so far and idk if it's because I'm paying attention more this time or it's just better but oh no I'm falling for all of them

the drama set up with the guys and their partners is promising writing (namely the triangle with Geri, Bryson, and Joyo but maybe just because im torn between those two anyway) I'm shocked but cautious it's episode 1 lol

ep 2

early doors?

the gem party outfit is so 2013 disney channel, I actually will be taking the free outfit

wait why is it not night time for truth or dare why did they change clothes lol

joyo, get out of here with the graphic tee and blazer combo. Maybe this is why Bryson doesn't like you, and it'd be justified (tbf him being a bad dresser has been established already though)

oh God I didn't see his pants too jfc let him borrow some clothes

I'm into the frenemy relationship with Summer, like there's always a female villain in the game and they're almost always entertaining to me at the beginning (minus maybe Kat and Ivy)

I'm warming up to the all the guys like how can you pick

I'm starting to realize I personally have a problem because I always go, at least initially, for the chefs/foodies (Jake, Bobby, Camilo, Roberto) and I like Bryson rn and I think my MC would go for Bryson based on how I played her in s5 but I'm slowly inching over to Joyo and honestly i see the vision for Bobby clone I mean Raf and it is absolutely bc they've mentioned cooking

stop talking about feet pls not again

I expect this from Summer but Uma coming over to try to steal my man?? I appreciate her boldness though and at least she's not going behind anyone's back

ep 3

as someone who doesn't have the modded app and will not pay real money for gems, I feel very happy with choosing to eavesdrop on the guys' conversation. I feel like usually a lot of the gem scenes aren't worth it but this one is fun

Joyo does skincare but can't dress and Bryson is a fashion expert but makes fun of skincare. If they joined forces they'd be unstoppable, thank God they hate each other

hey what the fuck happened to cassius

so in summary im pleasantly surprised and hyped for this season at the moment. and lastly, pls don't drop the ball on stick or twist again please please pleaseeee

[smol-chaotic-creations]

Angel Time!! 😉

I'm not posting these in order of favorites, it's just who's design gets finished first Lol

Angel and David's dynamic has me rolling every time I listen to his audios! David is an exception when it comes to Tsunderes for me because he truly makes sure to let Angel know how much he loves them! Most just seem to be written to be big jerks with little to no comfort for their love interest, but David has whole audios that are him comforting Angel. With that, my version of Angel has the name Archer and is the playful flirt we all know. Remember, this will have a bit of spice, talks of nightmares, breakdowns, and some spoilers!

How tall is David? The others have talked about how big he is, so I'm stretching ideas by imagining David as a whopping 6'6". I am aware of that size difference but hey, it leaves some room for hilarity.

Archer is an absolute punk, and while she enjoys poking fun at David, she would stop at a moments notice if she noticed he was upset.

Her junk food addiction consists of things like a lot of sugar, frozen pizzas, and pizza rolls. She even has a stash of it in her home office that she hides from David, "Ahhhhh, Davey!!! Hey babe, watcha need?!"

He actually knows about it but decides to keep quiet and watch how much she eats.

I imagine Archer mainly works from home but goes into the office for big meetings and group projects. She also goes on trips when there are things like conventions and conferences.

The first time David shifted, Archer was just giving him a bit of a hard time but felt bad for pressuring him. Afterward, though, she made a mental note to try to give him ear scratches later on.

I do want to address the video where David confronted the Listener thinking they were cheating.

Archer thought David wouldn't care about the cat situation, and she felt a mixture of guilt and anger at his response. Not gonna lie, she had to stop herself from crying because of how angry David was with her. She knew he had a right to be, but it didn't warrant the level of his outburst.

Afterwards, she probably would play Minecraft for a bit before sitting him down to talk the whole thing over again in a more calm state of mind. She is not going to just let it go without talking it out when they're both calmed down.

Archer during Inversion? The moment she arrived and heard about the situation, she asked all kinds of questions as to what was happening. When she figured out the department was waiting, anger boiled in her like a geyser.

Seeing David caused a dam to burst as she tackled him sobbing and kissing him. The aftershocks made her quiet and really careful about handling David's mental state.

The only time she slipped was when she saw the Department's video where they name-dropped David. A part of her wanted to uh... "speak with the commissioner directly." "I swear to Christ, I might commit a crime if they dare to mention your name again."

I can imagine David had some nightmares and tried to hide them from Archer, but she wouldn't have any of it. She also had similar issues, but of course not as severe as David’s.

When she is stressed, it can cause her to shut down emotionally and mentally. She becomes quiet and will drown herself in something she likes as a way to distract herself. At first, she tries her best to hide it from David, but once he figures it out, she begrudgingly allows him to comfort her.

I had an idea where David once gave Archer a stuffed Avocado as a present, and it is one of the most precious things she has now. She keeps it in her office to cuddle anytime she misses him.

I also imagine there has been a time when Archer has teased David so much at a pack meeting where he has just told her, "Run." She tried to hide with Asher, Milo, and their mates but failed.

SPICY TIIIIIIIME!!!

There are times where David will randomly pick Archer up, and she will become a flustered mess while also really being riled up.

This can be used against her though, as sometimes he will come just close enough to touch her but will walk away just as quick with a smug grin on his face.

That kind of teasing will get the whiniest reactions out of her, and she will try to latch onto him like a parasite. If he does ask her to stop, she'll do it in a heartbeat, but will give him looks and make noises that make her mood apparent.

Archer has made some jokes about David letting her uh... Be on top... And at some point, I can imagine him going, "I don't think you could handle that responsibility..." (I am fully aware David would never actually do this Lol)

Little Personal Thing: Archer really isn't into the whole... predator thing. So, in her storyline, that situation never happens.

[beyondthebarrier]

Starker Festivals Summer Bingo

Prompt: Didn't Know They Were Dating | Title: Rising to the Occasion | Ao3

Summary: The media seems to think that Tony and Peter are dating. In fact, so does Rhodey. And Aunt May. And the team...

Don't worry. Tony sets the story straight.

This is my first proper Starker fic so bear with me!

It wasn’t abnormal for Peter to be alone when he woke up, if he was being honest. Tony was rarely still in bed in the mornings, presumably quick to dismiss himself from the actions of the night before. Peter never minded, usually always able to find the man elbows deep in some project that he might be able to pick the genius’ brain about.

“FRI, can you start me some coffee?” Peter asked quietly, his voice a little raspy from sleep.

“Of course. Good morning, Peter.”

“Good morning, FRIDAY.”

Peter got to his feet, finding his sweatpants from the day before and Tony’s discarded Black Sabbath shirt before making his way directly to the kitchen for the promised cup of coffee. It took a few sips for him to realize that he heard voices coming from the living room - he’d assumed he was the only one in the penthouse. He recognized the second voice easily though so he wasn’t shy about heading that way.

“Look who’s awake,” Tony announced with a smile when Peter and his bedhead popped up in the open door frame. Rhodey looked his way and Peter waved around his coffee mug.

“Hope you’re here on your own accord and not because he dragged you for some nonsense, Colonel,” Peter greeted with a smirk towards the man in question.

“I’m not here for damage control this time, miraculously,” Rhodey replied easily, chuckling.

“In that case, I’ll leave you two to it. Tones, I’m gonna shower and head downstairs. It was good to see you, Colonel!”

As Peter made his way back towards the bedroom, Rhodey looked over at Tony and sighed at the look on the billionaire’s face.

“He looks good on you, Tony.”

--

“Here, May, I’ve got it,” Tony swooped in, grabbing the woman’s empty plate before she could fully get to her feet. Peter rolled his eyes but stood as well, his own empty plate in hand.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him,” Peter started, exasperated. “This man would rather buy new dishes than wash them at his own house and then he sits here and readily offers when we’re over here. Please, I need to know your secret. I’m tired of coffee rings in all the mugs.”

“Oh it’s easy, Peter. He’s scared of me,” Aunt May said in a faux whisper, winking at Tony before she settled on her sofa with the rest of her glass of wine as the boys worked to clean the kitchen. Tony washed while Peter absentmindedly dried and put away dishes, chatting away quietly to the older man. When Peter turned back to face the man, Tony quickly smeared soap bubbles onto Peter’s cheek, grinning. With a laugh, Peter reached into the sink, splashing the man with the water in the sink, despite the expensive suit Tony was wearing. Tony didn’t seem bothered as he grabbed the young man around the waist and pulled him in close for a hug, getting him wet as well. Peter squeaked, making Tony lean his head back in laughter before kissing Peter’s forehead and letting him go. Only Tony noticed the look that May was giving them both and he just smiled before turning back to finish cleaning.

As they left, Aunt May wrapped both men in crushing hugs to say goodbye. As Tony helped Peter into his jacket, he looked over his head at the woman, smiling.

“It’s our turn next Sunday, May. Be at the penthouse at seven.”

--

“I thought the little spider was supposed to be here? I brought ale for him to try!” Thor announced, holding up a large jug full of… well, not even Tony was eager to try the liquid sloshing around. Peter had been excited with the prospect of an alcohol that would give him the proper effects but Thor was right - Peter was nowhere to be found.

“Maybe he’s just running late,” Tony replied with a casual shrug, even as he slid his phone out to send yet another text to the missing member of the team. It was meant to be a little game/movie night and Peter was usually the one coercing him into attending so his lack of punctuality was bothering Tony. However, it wasn’t until Natasha and Steve also pointed out Peter’s absence that Tony excused himself. They weren’t sure exactly where he was going until they saw the suit fly off from the landing deck, heading in the direction of a shitty little apartment in Queens.

When Peter didn’t answer the door, Tony let himself in with his key, calling out Peter’s name frantically. It was a studio apartment and Peter groggily sat up in bed, blinking at the man who had just rudely interrupted his sleep.

“Pete, there you are. You’re missing game night, why are you- You’re burning up, sweetheart!” Tony sat on the edge of the bed, the back of his hand pressing against Peter’s forehead.

“M’cold,” Peter mumbled, trying to wrap the blankets around himself again so he could lay down.

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten?”

“Not hungry..”

“Okay, you’re definitely sick,” Tony pointed out, jumping to his feet to search the kitchen for food. Peter spent so little time here now that the cabinets were practically barren. There was certainly no cans of soup or really… anything. With a wince, Tony reached for a half-empty jar of peanut butter and a spoon, heading back to the bed.

“Tones, m’not hungry,” Peter whined as he scooped peanut butter out of the jar.

“Sweetheart, you need calories. Just a little bit and some water and I’ll let you go back to sleep. Your body will kick this in no time but it needs fuel to do it,” Tony said firmly, lifting the spoon to Peter’s lips. He opened them, accepting the spoon reluctantly and smacking his lips as he tried to get the peanut butter down. Tony got up, fixing him a cup of water. Between the two of them, they painstakingly got a full eight ounces of water and four big spoonfuls of peanut butter into the enhanced man before Peter gave up, flopping back into the pillows.

“Are you going back to game night?” he asked Tony, a rather pitiful look on his face. Tony shook his head, laying down beside him and wrapping his arms around him.

“No, I’m not going anywhere. Go back to sleep, I’ll be right here,” he assured, running his fingers through Peter’s sweaty curls and kissing his forehead.

--

Peter had decided to leave the tower for his lunch break, the idea of a sandwich from the deli down the block on his mind all morning. It was a beautiful day and he’d been looking for an empty space on a bench when he noticed the pointing in his direction from a few people by a magazine stand. He glanced down at himself, trying to see if maybe his shirt had come untucked or he had trash trailing on his shoe but he didn’t spot anything. However, he did hear the words, ‘Tony Stark’s boyfriend’ come from someone’s mouth and his stomach immediately twisted. He couldn’t stop himself from going over to the stand, dreading the idea of seeing Tony’s smiling face on a magazine cover with some- Oh. It was him. Peter laughed, picking up the glossy booklet. They’d attended a gala on Saturday evening for SI and the photo on the cover was the two of them all dressed up and smiling at each other in front of some rose bushes. ‘Tony Stark and boyfriend, Peter Parker, Rose to the Occasion.’ Peter scoffed at the title, setting it back down and reaching for his phone. He wasn’t sure Tony would find it as amusing as he did but he was just relieved that it hadn’t been someone else on that cover.

Thankfully, Tony didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He had already known about it, getting the alert from PR hours before, and even seemed a little concerned that Peter might be upset about it.

“Do you want me to put out a statement about it?” Tony asked him over the phone, as if sensing Peter’s slight discomfort.

“You won’t be rude about it or anything, right? Just clarify, sweet and simple?” Peter asked, noticing that he was still garnering a bit of attention. Thankfully, New Yorkers themselves were usually nonchalant about that kind of thing so it was only the tourists that were trying to draw attention to him.

“Of course. I’ll get it out right away,” Tony assured him.

Peter had no reason not to believe him. He thanked him, hung up, and moved further away from the news stand. He muted his phone before digging into his sandwich, taking advantage of the rest of his lunch break before heading back to work. It wasn’t until he was in the elevator going back up to R&D that he noticed his phone was blowing up. He sighed, expecting a tweet or something from Tony laying out the truth but what he found caught him off guard.

Relationship. Tony said relationship. He hadn’t claimed that they were just friends or fuck buddies or whatever. He said relationship. Peter was so hyperfocused on the words that the next thing he registered was FRIDAY’s voice.

“Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker, are you alright? Your vitals are concerning, should I alert Mr. Stark? ..Peter?”

“No! No, FRIDAY, no, don’t alert him, I’m fine!” Peter scrambled to answer, glancing up to see what floor the elevator was at currently. “Please don’t. I’m fine. I’m answering you, I’m fine!”

FRIDAY reluctantly agreed not to tattle just as the elevator stopped at his floor. Peter wasn’t feeling very fine, despite his protests, as he stepped out. He expected lots of stares and whispers, perhaps even direct comments about him ‘dating the boss.’ But there was nothing. Either nobody here had seen it yet or they just didn’t care. That certainly helped matters as he made his way to his table, intending on trying to focus on work but finding himself scrolling through the comments on the post instead. It was full of congratulatory messages from strangers but their friends didn’t seem very surprised. Rhodey, Nat, Ned, even Steve commented, all seeming as if this was barely news to them.

Peter got to his feet, heading back to the elevator to get to Tony’s lab. As the doors slid open on Tony’s R&D floor, Tony was standing there waiting to get on. The man flashed him his signature smile, stepping aside so he could get out.

“I was just coming to see you. May texted, said you seemed a bit out of it. Are you okay? I know the attention can be a lot but if I repeatedly make it clear that I want your privacy to be respected, it shouldn’t get too bad. Trust me, the fangirls will go rabid when reporters get too in-your-face about something,” Tony explained, leading Peter towards his office. Peter didn’t respond, staring straight ahead as Tony closed the door behind them. “They’ll want to protect you at all costs,” Tony continued, heading for the sofa instead of his chair. Peter remained standing, still just staring. Tony finally realized something was up and quirked an eyebrow at him, curious. “Pete?”

“Boyfriend.” Peter said blankly, staring at the man.

“Um, yes? I also have a name you can address me by.”

“Boyfriend.”

“Oookay, that works too. Peter, what’s wrong?”

The younger man started pacing the length of the office and Tony sighed, covering his face with his hands for a moment before regaining composure.

“FRIDAY, diagnose him. Fever? Has he been drugged? Is he having a psychotic break?”

“Sir, it appears that Peter is in a state of shock,” FRI replied easily. “His heart rate is elevated but nothing to be concerned about.”

“Shock over what?” Tony asked, watching as his partner continued to pace. He could practically see the gears turning in the boy’s head.

“It seems that Peter was not aware that the two of you were dating, Sir.”

Tony let out a humorless laugh while Peter came to a halt, his cheeks tinting pink as he stared at the floor. Realizing that there may be some truth in what FRI was telling him, Tony got to his feet, carefully approaching Peter.

“She’s right, isn’t she?” He asked softly, frown lines deeply engraved into his forehead. Peter refused to respond, not even looking up. Tony sighed, cupping the man’s chin and gently lifting it. “Pete? Is she right?”

Instead of answering, Peter’s face crumpled.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, hiding his face in his hands. Tony immediately pulled him into his chest, wrapping his arms around him securely. “I didn’t know that’s what this was.”

“That means I fucked up somewhere, Peter. Not you,” Tony soothed, rubbing the boy’s back. “If it had just been sex, I could understand, but Pete, sweetheart. I go to Sunday dinners with your Aunt. I host Sunday dinners for your Aunt. I take care of you when you’re sick, I let you wear my clothes.. Baby, we practically live together.”

“You never asked! You never used the words dating or boyfriend or-or-or relationship or anything,” Peter defended, lifting his head to look at the older man.

“Eight months ago, we laid in bed and I told you that I never wanted this to end. That I wanted forever with you,” Tony explained. “You agreed. I thought we were pretty clear from there on.”

“I thought that was pillow talk!” Peter exclaimed. “I’m so angry right now that it’s not even funny.”

Tony frowned once more, immediately letting Peter go and holding his hands up in surrender.

“Angry? You’re angry that I thought we were dating?”

“I’m angry that I’ve been holding back for eight months because I thought I wasn’t allowed to have you! I don’t kiss you first or touch you first or cuddle you whenever I want because I didn’t want to be too much for you!”

Tony’s face broke out into a grin, seeming relieved.

“Well, let’s rectify that right away.”

[suga-kookiemonster]

every time you mention how long your current wips are getting, i feel guilty because i can FEEL the fatigue through the screen lol, but more of your writing just equals a huge win for your readers, and it's sooooo worth waiting for! so while you're all "😮‍💨still working on it 😩IT JUST KEEPS COMING😭" i'm just sitting here like "😈gonna read the shit outta this 😈gonna read for DAYS" lol (also for the ask game: 23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t & 24. favorite fic you read this year)

omg, don't feel guilty!!! at the end of the day, i love sharing my work with you guys, even if my creative process definitely has periods of frustration and angst on my part 😂😂 but you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you look forward to the word count going up, because i feel bad it's taking me so long to post! thank you so much for the reassurance this morning 💜💜💜

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

i actually wanted to finish lost & found last year (a taehyung resort bartender fic that is 1000% just me projecting ☠️☠️), but didn't get around to it. hopefully i can post it this year!

i also was in the middle of writing a jungkook best friends, never lovers oneshot that was pure angst when my computer crashed last year, and i lost it completely 😭😭 i had written about 4k and i was really invested in the idea, but was upset about losing it and couldn't bring myself to rewrite it. and then, of course, completely forgot most of my plot points as time went along, and now if i wrote it, it wouldn't be the same story i originally envisioned. maybe someday i'll pick it up and attempt to write something similar out of the concept!

24. favorite fic you read this year

i read so many wonderful fics that idk if i can pick a single favorite? but i definitely need to call out straight shooter by @snackhobi and lovely demons by @kpopfanfictrash. CAN YOU SAY WORLDBUILDING??? i am truly in awe. my ass could never 😭

fanfic end of the year asks

[hoggyywarts]

TWO OBLIVIOUS IDIOTS (pls head the tags on ao3)

Vote for Jegulus or Jily in the comments

also pls teach me how to do the read more line

Chapter 1: What a fucking mess!

Remus knew he had to find a way to get over his stupid crush on Sirius, considering it had gone on far too long, and Pads was never going to like him the way that Remus wanted him to. And, really, it was okay. If he were Sirius, he wouldn't want to date him either, with his furry little problem (not to mention his anxiety). But he knew he had to do something before he embarrassed himself in front of Sirius and lost all his friends. It was a wonder he even had them to begin with. It only dawned on him after Justin had asked him to go to Hogsmeade together that exploring other people would be an excellent idea to get over the beautiful raven-haired boy that was constantly near him. He couldn't just tell Sirus to leave him alone with his internal struggle, but sometimes he kind of wanted to. Other times, he wanted to constantly be near his best friend, hoping that he might reciprocate his feelings. Drawing him out of his musings, Justin poked his arm with his quill.

"Earth to Remusss," he said jokingly, laughing as Remus startled and fell out of his seat. "What'd you get for question four?" A furrow grew between Justin's eyebrows as he pondered the possible response to the undoubtedly.

Remus jokingly slapped Justin on the arm as he laughed through, " Not funny."

"Then why are you laughing?"

Remus pouted from the floor and exclaimed, "Be nice, or I won't let you look at my paper, and you're going to have to figure out the side effects of Veritaserum all on your own" Justin threw his hands up in defeat before offering his hand to help Remus up. Soon their heads were bowed together, diligently working on their homework with the occasional flirtatious remark from Justin, a blooming blush on the cheeks of Remus, a scowl from Sirius, and an elbow bump from Lily, who was sitting next to Sirius.

"Stop scowling; you're going to get wrinkles. Also, Jealousy is not a good look on you" Lily followed her words with a pointed look (eerily resembling McGonagall when Sirius knew he was in trouble).

Smoothing his face out, " I'm not scowling, and I'm definitely Not, erm, Jealous. I'm just, erm, concerned for Moony."

Lily raised her eyebrows, "Right..."

"We don't even know the guy! For all, we know he could be some serial killer who is out to get poor Moony. You know they are charming, right?"

Lily groaned, "Just admit you're jealous."

Sirius's face dropped as his eyes slid over to where Justin ruffled Remus's hair. His Moony liked Justin, and he didn't like him. Sirius didn't put that blush on his face; Justin did. Hell, he was jealous. He abruptly picked up his books, and with a huff, he sped out of the library, Lily quick at his heels.

"Sirus- Sirius! Slow the fuck down! I'm sorry I didn't know it would upset you that much."

Sirus stopped and turned around, waiting for Lily to catch up, and frankly, catch her breath. "No, I know, you're right. I'm just mad and jealous. Stupid Justin!"

Lily sighed and ran her hand through her long auburn hair, "Listen, I know Sirius, but don't make Re feel bad about this. If you love him, you should support his happiness whether it is with you or someone else. Got it?"

"Okay, I love Moony and want him to be happy. Listen, Evans, I'll see you tomorrow; I'm kind of tired," and with that, he waved Lily off, heading in the direction of his dorms.

what a fucking mess

Chapter 2: Not the way I want

Sirius slumped as soon as he waved Lily off and slowly trudged towards his dorms. His shoulders dropped even lower as soon as he dejectedly closed the door. He knew that Lily was right. Sulking around filled with anger would only push Remus away. But, also, who even was this Justin guy? The only thing Sirius knew was that the hat sorted him into Ravenclaw. Perfect for his smart Moony, he thought bitterly.

James burst into the dorm with vivacity screaming while twirling his tie in the air like a lasso, "GUESS WHO JUST GOT A DATE!!!!"

His erratic gaze found Sirius's sorrowful grey eyes, and his mouth made an involuntary oh shape of realization as his best friend's feelings towards the werewolf dawned on him. Although Lily often called James dense, James knew Sirius after everything they had been through together. And right now, he knew Sirius was going through inner turmoil, and he would have done something. Or rather, he was going to do something. But a blushing Moony was behind him, and he couldn't concern Moony the day before his date. He felt for Sirius, after all, who knew better but him what it felt like to see the one you love with someone else; however, he also knew that his best friend Moony deserved to be happy, and if he was in love with Justin, then that was that. Although in his humble opinion, Sirius was much hotter. Also, who was this Justin anyway?

"Moony did," Sirius spoke ever so quietly. James had to strain to listen to him while Remus only did due to his heightened werewolf hearing.

The furrow that Remus always got while studying grew between appeared between his eyebrows, "You okay, Pads?"

Sirius clapped his hands together and tried to pull himself together, throwing his brightest and widest (and hopefully not noticeably fake smile) towards Remus. "Of course! Now Moony-mine, what are you going to wear to this date of yours? Don't you worry. I've got it covered!" And with that, Sirius fled towards Moony's closet, pulling out clothes and frowning at some while nodding at the others. Unbeknownst to the two, he had his back towards; tears were prickling his eyes as he furiously tried to contain them.

98, 91, 84, 77, 70, 63. Counting down by sevens always helped him calm down, and by the time Remus approached his dramatics, his tears were just barely contained. At least they were contained enough to hold clothes up to his Moony to decide what he would wear (it was a hard task, as everything looked good on Moony).

Whatever bullshit Sirius was trying to pull, James knew better. He definitely liked Remus. And he most certainly knew Sirius was gonna sob himself to sleep.

Remus felt his heart swoop at Sirius' nickname. Moony-mine- ugh, I wish. He wondered what was wrong with Sirius as he sounded somewhat down, although his mood sure did seem to swoop for the better once he thought of the date Remus had. Maybe he got a letter from that dreadful family of his. Just as quickly as his stomach had swooped, he felt a sharp drop. The kind you get going down roller coasters. If Sirius liked him, he surely wouldn't be holding up clothes to Remus with glee.

"Moons..."

"Hmm."

"You zoned out for a second. I picked out that green sweater. It looks perfect on you," Sirius finished softly.

"Thanks, Pads. What would I do without you" Remus spoke as he pulled his best friend (ugh) into a hug. He felt Sirius's arms snake around his shoulders and gently rub circles on his back. He sighed in comfort until Sirius pulled away.

"Love you, night Moons."

(not the way I want)

"Night, Pads, love you."

(not the way I want)

That night when Sirius sobbed into James' shoulder, the only thing James could do was wrap his arms around him, put a silencing charm up, and gently whisper, "it's okay," which only prompted Sirius to sob harder until he fell asleep.

That night Remus silently sobbed as he tossed and turned until he fell asleep, wishful thinking turning into pleasant dreams of a dark-haired best friend turned boyfriend.

[angelsnuffbox]

Writers blues under the cut

Recently I've been thinking I may be on my last days of writing/posting fan fiction. It's been getting really hard to be motivated, and I've never had a writing funk that's been this bad/lasted this long before.

It's funny, cause I'm still writing a lot. In fact I just finished a 26k GO fic that I worked on in 10 days. I do enjoy writing, I still have so many ideas, and I still often get inspired by imagining my loves Aziraphale and Crowley in so many different situations and building stories out of them. It's just when I finish them that's the problem. I haven't been posting most of my stuff on ao3 lately because of it. "It" being a mixture of so many things: 1) a major case of imposter syndrome (they're bound to figure out im a terrible writer eventually), 2) general anxiety that people won't like it, 3) more specific anxiety that i've done something wrong (again), etc.

I won't pretend that the incident from last August didn't have anything to do with this. And while I'm super super glad to have received a lot of support during that time, I just haven't been the same since then. I haven't recovered, even tho I really really tried. Because people encouraged me to keep writing. Because I wanted to keep writing. Because people said I still have great stories to tell. I'd published Glassblowing since then, but I wrote that even way before I'd written Perpetual Estrangement, so the fun sexy vibes you saw in Glassblowing is just a ghost presence of how I was before when I still knew how to have fun with my writing. I can't imagine being able to ever write something like that again. I haven't even tried writing any smut in 2 months now, even for my private projects.

Now every time I post something I don't have the heart to look at the comments anymore. To be honest it's been super super stressful. Even though people are so nice to me. And people are still reading. I'm still fucking terrified every time I receive an ao3 notif that it's gonna be another round of people screaming at me for having done something wrong. Even if people have been very sweet and nice to me in the comments, sometimes my brain catches on something and immediately twists their words into something bad. I've had SEVERAL cases where I got upset over a comment that I thought was critiquing my fic only to be told by other writer friends that I misunderstood it cause it was actually something nice. And I hate myself for assuming ill intent on people who just wanted to leave a comment.

I was never that good at replying to comments, but I usually was able to reply to most of them. Now I can't even do that anymore. I can't even express myself in author's notes anymore because I just don't absolutely do NOT want to be perceived by anyone anymore. And it SUCKS because my wish to be invisible and to just disappear from the face of this fandom is directly in conflict with how inspired I still am by Crowley and Aziraphale and my want to get my stories out there.

All I ever wanted is to just make people happy with my fics, idk why Im making it so hard on myself. Even just writing this post on a public tumblr blog is making me feel pompous because who even cares, yknow? It's not like I was ever a BNF or anything. And while I do appreciate my consistent readers who are all so very nice to me, I know I'm definitely more of a "the author who writes a lot of okayish-to-good quality fics" as opposed to "the author who's BRILLIANT and is MY FAVORITE", and this is really just me drawing attention on myself when I really shouldn't, since people care less about that anyway.

I wish I can be like other authors who just brush off the stuff they don't want to see. I'm lucky enough to be friends with so many talented GO fic writers and my problems are so petty compared to theirs, but the way they deal with all the toughness of writing for such a big and varied fandom is just so admirable. I tried to do it. I tried to not care and keep writing/posting anyway. But it hasn't been getting any better. The only thing that makes me happy right now are the fics themselves, because I try to write uplifting stories that mean a lot to me, that call back to a certain period in my life (Half of Me being the most personal story to me so far), but sharing my work just isn't fun for me anymore. It's distorting my head and ruining my relationship with my writing, as well as turning me into this paranoid monster who assumes the worst in some readers. And I'm just really sorry because I feel like an absolute failure.

So that's the gist of where i kinda am right now. My ao3 will probably still be active for a few more weeks, mostly cause I already made commitments for christmas-themed gift exchanges and I don't want to turn my back on my giftees. Beyond that, though, I don't really know. And anyway, GO is so fortunate to have such a wide breadth of talented writers and I know I definitely enjoy being a fic reader much more than being a writer. I won't really be much of a loss.

[mostgeckcellent]

my submission for the @drinkwithme-exchange for @fuckyeahlesmiserables

I originally wrote something completely different, and I didn't like it at all, but you mentioned you liked my Old Guard series, so I wrote a new installment of that for you instead!

Platonic Ships: Eponine & Musichetta, Eponine & Grantaire

Eponine swirled her glass. Cosette was still with Enjolras - she’d dragged their newly-returned-from-the-dead friend off pretty quick, but Eponine was still processing. Did she believe him? She wasn’t sure. He’d convinced Bahorel, though, and Baz had never been the type to believe just anything without questioning it, especially something as batshit crazy as all of this.

Immortals. What next?

She drained what remained of her whiskey and coke, and stood. She needed to go for a walk.

Eponine was three blocks away from Jehan’s little house when Musichetta caught up to her.

“Hey.” Musichetta put a hand on Eponine’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Eponine stopped walking, lit a cigarette. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You know it’s okay if you’re not,” Musichetta said, never one to just back down.

“Yeah,” Eponine repeated with a sigh. “You want one?”

“Sure.” Musichetta took the offered cigarette; Eponine lit it for her.

They stood in silence for a while. Eponine liked that about Musichetta, that they could just be. That she didn’t have to talk, or fill the space.

“It’s fucked up, right?” Eponine said eventually.

“Yeah.” Musichetta didn’t have to ask what. Enjolras’ return was a miracle unlooked for, of course, but it was bittersweet, too. They’d mourned him. Not moved on, never moved on - it felt impossible, when there were no answers - but he’d left them.

Eponine understood. She did, probably better than any of the rest of them. She of all people knew about needing to run away and not look back, knew about new lives and new beginnings and the colliding of worlds.

It still hurt, to have been left behind.

“It’s good to have answers,” Musichetta said eventually, when their cigarettes were burned nearly to stubs. “Fucking weird answers, mind you-”

Eponine laughed, sharp. “Fucking weird answers,” she agreed.

“-But it’s good to have them,” Musichetta finished.

“Yeah,” Eponine agreed. “I’m glad he’s alive. And hey, if he really is immortal, I can shank him for doing that to us,” she grinned, all teeth and no joy.

Musichetta nudged her in the side. “You’re not gonna stab Enjolras,” she shook her head.

“I might,” Eponine protested.

“You’re not going to stab Enjolras,” Musichetta repeated sternly. “I know you’re mad. We all are, a little. It’s a lot. But-”

“But what? But he had to?” She knew that. “It wasn’t safe?” She knew that too. She dropped her cigarette, put it out with her heel. Could hear Enjolras’ voice in the back of her head, chiding her for littering, for letting the chemicals inevitably leach into the water somewhere. She ignored it.

“Yes,” Musichetta said, as if it were that simple. “And he came back in the end.”

“Because he got caught,” Eponine snarled. “Not because-”

“He cares about us. He cares about you,” Musichetta said softly.

“Does he?”

“You know he does.”

Eponine sighed, looked away. “I’ll forgive him eventually,” she muttered. “I’m just - I’m not ready yet.”

“Okay,” Musichetta agreed with a soft smile. “Can I hug you?”

Eponine rolled her eyes a little, but she opened her arms, and really, she’d never admit it out loud, but Musichetta’s hugs had a way of making her feel like everything really might be alright, someday.

--

Enjolras would stay for three days. That’s what he said when he got off the phone with his friends. Three days. His friends would make the drive today, his new family.

Eponine didn’t resent him for it. Or - she did, a little. He’d ran off with his new friends to a new place and left them all to pick up the pieces, and now his new friends were coming here. But it was fine, and Eponine didn’t resent him.

Maybe if she repeated it enough she’d convince herself.

She knew she wasn’t being fair to him. She knew she was wasting time - if they only had three days, she ought to be making the most of it, not sulking in the bathroom.

“You’re going to regret avoiding him the whole time when he has to leave again,” came Musichetta’s voice from the other side of the door, because Musichetta was a fucking mind reader.

“Maybe so,” Eponine called back, but she unlocked the door and opened it.

“Apparently they’ll be here in around an hour,” Musichetta reported. “They started the drive this morning.”

“Great,” Eponine muttered.

“Ep.” Musichetta frowned. Apparently, sympathy hours had run out. “Come on. They’re important to him.”

“We used to be important to him,” Eponine scowled.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Musichetta stepped into the bathroom with Eponine, shutting the door behind her. “I love you, you know I do, but he still loves us. And you’re going to feel like shit when he’s gone, and you’ve just been resentful at him the whole time. Did he do a shitty thing? Yes. Do you have a right to be upset by it all? Absolutely. But you’re going to kick yourself for wasting the time you’ve been given.”

Eponine glared at Musichetta for a long moment, but Musichetta was used to her moods, and didn’t back down an inch.

Eponine deflated, sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. “So, we’ve moved on from pity to ass-kicking, huh?”

“You know the drill, baby,” Musichetta grins at her. “One day for wallowing, and then we get the fuck back up again.”

“Ugh. I fucking hate you.”

“No you don’t.” Musichetta clapped Eponine on the back. “C’mon. Let’s go do this thing.”

--

Enjolras’ friends were.. Well. They were an odd bunch, which meant, in the end, that they fit right in. Marius was looking up at Courfeyrac with the widest puppy eyes, enraptured by the tales he wove. Marius wasn’t the only one - even Eponine had to admit the man had charisma. He’d won over most of the group within moments of arriving, cheerful and kind as he was. Combeferre was a quiet, steady presence beside him, the pair of them orbiting each other in a way that was as enthralling as it was sickeningly sweet. Joly had managed to tear Combeferre away for a separate conversation at some point; Eponine wasn’t listening, had stopped listening when they had started discussing the more gruesome points in medical history. And then there was Feuilly - she was gorgeous, and better yet, she swore like a sailor and beat Bahorel at arm wrestling three times in a row. Enjolras’ new friends had been folded neatly into the Amis, like it was easy, like they fit.

Well, most of them. One man kept to the corner, nursing a drink and watching Enjolras, always watching Enjolras.

“Grantaire, right?” Eponine leaned against the wall beside him.

He looked over at her, startled. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“A bit old for him, aren’t you?” she asked, because she wasn’t stupid, she knew what it meant that Grantaire stared like that, that Enjolras only blushed when stumbling over his introduction of Grantaire, and not the others.

Grantaire snorted. “You have no idea,” he admitted. “But he knows what he wants, and I’ve learned not to get in the way of his decisions.”

“Hm.” Eponine sized Grantaire up. Honestly, she’d assumed Enjolras was some sort of monk, before he’d disappeared. He’d never dated, never so much as looked.

He definitely looked at Grantaire, though. In fact, he was looking now, looking away from his conversation with Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Marius and Cosette to stare at Grantaire, and it wasn’t a look Eponine had ever seen him direct at anyone before.

“You’re not what I’d have expected for him,” she said.

“Tell me about it.” Grantaire didn’t seem to care to argue the point.

Eponine narrowed her eyes at him.

He glanced at her, and shrugged. “I love him,” he said after a moment. “When I was ready to give up on the world, there he was, all..” He waved a hand in Enjolras’ direction. “Well, you know him. You know what he’s like - justice and whatever, Apollo fucking incarnate, the way he speaks..” Grantaire trailed off. “I don’t know how anyone can hear him talk and not love him.”

“I dunno, he’s not really my type,” Eponine said drily, a smile beginning to curl at the edge of her lips despite herself.

Grantaire laughed. “Must be weird, all of this.”

“Now there’s an understatement,” Eponine muttered, eyes locked on Enjolras, who had returned to his conversation.

“He’s not going to age,” Grantaire said, not quite casual.

“I guess not,” Eponine agreed.

“It’s going to kill him, watching you all age and die.” Grantaire crossed his arms over his chest.

Eponine.. hadn’t thought about that. “Is that why he stayed away?”

“Absolutely not.” Grantaire huffed out a laugh, though he didn’t seem happy about it. “No, he wanted so badly to get in touch, no matter how much we - I - warned him he’d just get hurt. He thinks it’s worth it.” Grantaire looked around the room, and Eponine could see when he softened. “Maybe he was right,” he allowed. “I just hope it doesn’t break him.”

“So you’re the reason he stayed away,” Eponine narrowed her eyes at him.

Grantaire glanced at her. “I just want him to be safe and happy. Getting attached to mortals? Never ends well.���

“It wasn’t your call to make,” Eponine frowned at him.

“No,” Grantaire agreed. “It wasn’t. I didn’t try to stop him from coming here, I just..” He sighed.

Eponine sighed too. “You’re right,” she said eventually. “It’ll kill him to watch us die. And he won’t look away, I know he won’t, he’ll be here.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire agreed.

Sad wasn’t the right word for Grantaire, Eponine thought. Weary, to his bones, with sadness etched into him… for a moment, she felt like she glimpsed him properly, ancient and grand as he was. And then he was just a guy again - a young man in a green hoodie, someone she’d pass on the street and never give a second thought to.

“You’ll be there for him, when it happens,” Eponine said like it was a certainty. She had to hope - believe - that it was.

“Yes,” Grantaire agreed. “I’ll be there. So will they.” He gestured to where Enjolras was gesticulating wildly, accidentally smacking Courfeyrac’s nose when a gesture went too wide. Courfeyrac just laughed, and tweaked Enjolras’ nose in return. Enjolras squawked indignantly, and then the whole group of them were laughing, Cosette and Marius included, and Bossuet, who had joined them at some point.

“You’ll keep in touch,” Eponine said. It wasn’t a question. She held out her phone.

Grantaire looked at her for a long moment. She didn’t squirm, didn’t flinch, just raised an eyebrow.

Grantaire nodded, took the phone, and plugged his own number in. Enjolras’, too, for good measure.

“I was determined to hate you all,” Eponine admitted as she took the phone back.

“I get that,” Grantaire agreed.

“I don’t,” Eponine pocketed the phone. “He seems happy. And he’s out there, making a difference or whatever. If he can’t do it with us, I’m.. glad, I guess, that he can do it with you.”

“He’d stay if he could,” Grantaire said.

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Eponine shook her head. “He cares about you a lot. And them, too, your whole bunch.”

“He’s got enough in his heart of all of us.” Grantaire looked at her.

Eponine smiled a little. “Yeah. Yeah, he does.”

[not-reagan]

milf: man i love forests

pairing: deforester boo seungkwan x frat boy mirror demon han jisung (side pairing reagan x rainbow)

genre: crack, strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: cursing, brief supernatural elements, i don’t know if this applies but all lcase, and i listened to christmas music and abba while writing this

word count: 2.7k

authors note: happy birthday @miyuuraiura !! i am so sorry about this monstrosity being your birthday gift but you asked for it so it's your fault entirely. i was gonna include some context on this story for those who are not rainbow and i but actually i don't think i will.

seungkwan did what he could to get by. he loved nature, he really did, but sometimes you have to make moral sacrifices to survive. he was a college kid strapped for cash, and when he saw a sign reading “GET RICH QUICK, INVEST IN DEFORESTATION” in the summer going into his freshmen year, he jumped at the opportunity. sure, he would have rather been a freelance singer, hired for bar-mitzvahs and children's parties, but that job market was flooded at the moment.

jisung, on the other hand, had no care for nature. actually, he didn't care for any human things, apart from “banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches”. he hated quite a bit about earth, the worst of all to him being college. as a demon, he had no reason to attend university, but after he was summoned in the bathroom of a frat house by the school’s power couple; rainbow and reagan, he felt obliged to follow the two around and keep them company.

for seungkwan, his main job rarely required in person work. he usually just chose plots of land to demolish, and sent plans to local managers. the only time he actually had to knock down any trees himself was during his summer break. he has a part time job of course, but it didn't provide him enough cash to survive. for someone with a job as a deforester, he truly did do what he could to save the environment. he joined his schools environmental club, becoming vice president his sophomore year because of his work with them. he kept his job a secret, not even telling his parents where the influx of cash was coming from. he kept a low profile and went through the motions of life. he didn't have much of a social life, with his small amount of friends being from the environmental club.

han jisung found joy in witnessing his professors and fellow students lose their minds over his lack of effort in class. he did the bare minimum and still passed with flying colors. most of all, it angered his seatmate in earth science, who happened to be none other than boo seungkwan. seungkwan was a hard worker in everything he did, particularly in school. he didn't get the best grades, but by no means was he the worst. averaging a steady B+, seungkwan spent most of his nights studying or working, rarely going to parties and enjoying himself only through one person karaoke rooms.

this fact upset jisung. he didn't know why, but seeing seungkwan so tired every day made him feel sad(? jisung wasn't sure what it made him feel. it was an emotion he had never experienced before. rainbow told him it meant he had a crush. to this he threw an empty soda can at them). not to mention seungkwan’s upsetting karaoke addiction, which he knew all about the danger of because of reagan, who spent most of her weekends drunk and singing. jisung didn’t know why he took such a liking to seungkwan. what he did know was that he was ecstatic to find that they would be paired together for a project. a project that required quite a bit of teamwork, and a lot of after school work sessions.

seungkwan liked to think that he didn’t hate anyone. he hated evil people, like hitler and stalin and jyp, but he didn’t really hate anyone besides the worst of the worst. that was until he experienced jisung. he wasn’t sure why jisung always talked to him when he was trying to take notes in class. he especially wasn’t sure why he was so excited to be partnered up together for the project that was worth 25% of their grade. seungkwan was less than happy to have to cooperate with jisung for an extended period of time, and he was not looking forward to letting him into his dorm room, or going anywhere near jisung’s frat house. seungkwan had no idea what he was pushed into.

they planned to meet at the cafe on campus at 5:00 pm after class. seungkwan was less than happy. jisung was thrilled. when jisung arrived seungkwan was sitting at a table drinking an americano and working on an english essay. he wasn't sure how to approach him, slowly walked closer before tapping on his shoulder. seungkwan jolted in his seat.

“jesus fuck jisung. you scared the crap out of me,” seungkwan gasped. jisung’s ears flushed as he brought his hand to the back if his neck.

“sorry,” he started, pausing for a second before starting again, “why don't we get started?”. he swung his bag down to the ground as he took a seat. seungkwan offered a small, non genuine smile before pulling out the project’s guidelines.

“let's try to finish this as quickly as possible. im pretty busy and don't have much time to fool around.” seungkwan said. jisung felt his heart drop. did seungkwan really think that little of him? granted, he always dozed off in class but he got his work done on time and in an orderly fashion. he felt his mind begin to wander. if seungkwan felt this way about him now, how would he feel when he found out that jisung was a demon. would seungkwan start to like him if he knew him better? jisung couldn't figure out why he cared so much about how seungkwan perceived him. he had never had an issue with others opinions of him before, so what made seungkwan so different? for some reason, jisung felt the need to connect with seungkwan. if not for himself, then at least to help him let loose.

after working silently on each of their portions of the projects for 3 hours, jisung finally spoke up. “do you want to maybe come to my party next month? well, it's not my party, it's for rainbow’s birthday. i know you're not one for social interaction but it would be cool to see you there. i’ll give you the details if-”

“i’d love to go,” seungkwan cut off jisung’s rambling. to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he was agreeing to, but he knew it would shut jisung up, and seungkwan valued his peace and quiet. part of him also just felt downright bad for the other. he seemed to be trying awfully hard to become friends with seungkwan, and he wouldn’t admit it, seungkwan had started to warm up to the boy. he really wasn’t as much of an issue as he had thought before, and was actually really respectful of seungkwan’s wishes. maybe i’ll give him a chance, seungkwan thought before going back to his work.

over the next month, jisung and seungkwan continued meeting to work on their project. seungkwan was less short with the other, and jisung was still red faced every time seungkwan decided to talk to him, which became quite frequently over the next few weeks. jisung was starting to realize that the feelings he had for seungkwan were not simply platonic, and that he didn’t just want to be friends with him. with the help of rainbow and reagan, he had come to the conclusion that he really, really liked seungkwan, and that he was going to do something about it. remembering that he had invited seungkwan to the party, he devised a plan to not only tell seungkwan about his whole “i’m actually a demon” thing, but also about his true feelings. it wouldn't be easy, but it was what he had to do.

a month later, seungkwan still wasn’t exactly sure why he had agreed to go to jisungs frat house at 9:00 pm on a saturday night. yet there he was, standing on the front porch of a large house, wondering if he should bite the bullet and walk in, or spare himself and leave right then. he didn't get a choice, however, as rainbow and reagan stepped out of the house giggling while clutching onto each other. both stopped in their tracks when they saw seungkwan. the couple and seungkwan stared at each other for a good minute before seungkwan shook himself from his trance.

“hey rainbow!” seungkwan started, “and reagan too. i know we aren’t super close, but jisung invited me and i thought i’d just drop by and wish you a happy birthday.” he passed her a birthday card filled with $50 bucks and then turned to leave. “i’ll leave you guys now. have a great birthday!” before seungkwan could get very far, however, rainbow grabbed him by the arm.

“hey, i’d love if you’d stay! at least go say hi to jisung. i’m sure he’d like to see you,” she said, silently making note to have jisung pay her back for being a great wingwoman.

“he’s probably hiding in the second floor bathroom. if you don't see him in there, just say his name three times in front of the mirror. he’ll appear.” reagan explained. seungkwan thought she was joking. how wrong he was.

following his entrance to the house, he had to refuse not one, not two, but three different people who were looking to give him bottles or cups of something which seungkwan presumed to be various types of alcohol. navigating through the house was difficult, reaching the stairs to the second floor only after running into numerous people borderline fucking on two large couches in the living room, a smoke circle taking place in what seungkwan assumed to be a dining room, and a very aggressive makeout session against a wall. once he finally reached the second floor, he had some difficulty finding the bathroom, accidentally walking in on reagan and rainbow, who had miraculously made it upstairs faster than he had.

“if you don’t stop shitting constantly i am going to break up with you! also, stop taking feet pics! it’s weird!” he heard rainbow shout.

“at least i can eat seafood! how does it make your head hurt? you’re the weakest link! that fucking seafood platter was delicious. and you know what, i’m glad i didn’t have to share it with you!” reagan responded. seungkwan quickly shut the door, not wanting to get involved in whatever drunken argument was going on there. after a bit more searching, he finally stumbled across the right room. knocking first to see if anyone was in there, he entered, and to his surprise, nobody was there. jisung was nowhere to be seen. seungkwan reviewed his options. he could a) leave the party, or b) continue to look around the packed house. but there was another option. he thought about it for a second.

“what's the harm in trying,” seungkwan thought out loud, before staring directly into the mirror.

“han jisung, han jisung, han jisung.”

nothing happened. that's what seungkwan thought, until a minute later the lights in the bathroom flickered off and the mirror began to glow. “what. the. fuck,” seungkwan managed to squeak out before falling backwards into the tub. first a leg emerged, then two arms, and finally the rest of jisung’s body.

“i feel like the genie in aladin every time i have to get into a fucking mirror,” jisung complained before seeing seungkwan toppled over. to that view, he jumped down off the counter and moved to help him up. seungkwan, aside from falling, seemed to be reacting well to the whole situation, at least in the sense that instead of freaking out he seemed to be in a state of shock. jisung took this as a good sign, and lifted the motionless body up onto the toilet seat.

“hey seungkwan, you there?” jisung waved his hand in front of seungkwan's face as he slowly came to his senses.

“what kind of twisted party trick was that?” seungkwan asked, pretty seriously. jisung just laughed.

“you summoned me from the mirror. i’m like a funny version of michael jackson except i'm a demon and not a man in the mirror.” jisung explained. seungkwan just stared. “are you ok kwan? do you want me to get you some water?”

“it was… kind of sick.” seungkwan stated. he didn't know why he wasn't scared. under any other circumstance like this one, he probably would have shit his pants. for some reason he felt comfortable around jisung. he felt warm. he felt seen. it was something he hadn't felt before. that's when he realized. he wondered why it took himself to long to figure it out. he never hated jisung. he just didn't know what to do with the fact that he made him feel special, and that he felt as though he belonged when they were together. it had hit him why he was so nervous the whole night, why he had wanted to make such a good impression, and why he was willing to embarrass himself by calling out jisungs name as opposed to just choosing to go home. it was because he loved him.

“can i tell you something?” both of the boys said at the same time. jisung giggled and seungkwan flushed red. **authors note! bonus starts here**

“you first,” seungkwan offered. he wasn't exactly sure he would be able to make it through a sentence without getting any redder than he already was.

jisung took this opportunity to finally get his true feelings out into the air, “i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-”

“you're rambling again,” seungkwan told him. jisung flushed a dark shade of pink. “it's a habit of yours. i think it's cute actually.” seungkwan wasn't sure where his sudden surge of confidence came from, but he was glad it came. he was standing up now, holding jisungs hands in his. jisungs heart was racing a mile a minute as he looked down at their intertwined hands and them back up, catching seungkwan looking directly at his lips. “can… can i kiss you?” seungkwan stuttered out. jisung couldn't find his words, so he opted to just nod.

when their lips connected, seungkwan could have sworn he heard fireworks. he did later find out that someone was setting off a firework in the back yard, but it was the thought that counted. their lips melted together perfectly, and seungkwan wondered why it took him so long to admit his feelings to himself. he could have been kissing jisung for a month before this.

once they finally parted, seungkwan spoke softly, “i like you too. i think that's pretty obvious now but just in case you didn't know.” jisung had the dumbest, most confused face on, and seungkwan had the brightest smile he'd ever had. seungkwan had rendered jisung speechless, for once in his life. not long after, they started kissing again, content with their emotions and their new relationship.

seungkwan was never one to believe that good things were permanent. he was overdramatic, stubborn, and hated interacting with people outside his small social circle. that was until han jisung came along. he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could let someone else into his life.

jisung was a simple man. well, not a man, but he was simple nonetheless. he liked banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches. well maybe there was one more thing he liked. he knew for sure he liked boo seungkwan. maybe he loved him. maybe seungkwan even felt the same way.

-fin

**BONUS**

reagan and rainbow leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on their matchmaking work.

“holy shit!” reagan gasped.

“what is it?? tell me what happened. you're hogging up the door!” rainbow hissed.

“our boy is so grown up,” reagan pretended to cry. “put your goddamn ear up here.” rainbow felt her ear connect with the cold door just as jisung confessed his feelings.

“i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-” his next words were cut off on the girls side of the door as reagan squealed.

“shut your mouth! seungkwans saying something!!” rainbow said, obviously annoyed that reagan was obstructing her ability to hear the exchange.

“can… can i kiss you?” they heard seungkwan say. both looked at each other in shock.

“oh. my. god.” was all rainbow could say.

“i think we should give them some alone time,” reagan suggested as she tugged rainbow down the hall.

“i think we need some alone time for ourselves,” rainbow said as reagan pushed her into a random room and locked the door behind them.

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.1k

warnings: swearing, slight angst in the beginning but not really, fluff

i owe you guys an apology. i’m not very active on tumblr as of posting. i’m sorry about that. school has been hard on me and i’ve been very stressed. i’ll try to do better in the future :)

listen to the music masterlist

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Armin was discharged from the hospital only a day after the accident. The doctor said there was nothing extraordinary to worry about. But of course, even with this information, Eren still made a fuss. That much was clear when he walked through the door with Armin's arm slung over his shoulder.

"I didn't break my leg, Eren. I don't need to use you as a crutch," Armin grumbled as the two walked into the kitchen from the garage. He reached back to shut the door with his free hand.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for supporting you in these trying times."

"I don't need your support," they scoffed. He unwrapped his arm and made his way across the room.

Eren gave him the finger, rather aggressively. The gesture wasn't reciprocated since the blond already disappeared into the hallway.

Sucking on a freeze pop, you leaned back against the cool countertop. "Welcome home, lovely. Have fun?"

Eren sighed loudly as he walked toward the freezer and got a popsicle for himself. He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the top of the wrapper off into the trash.

He said sarcastically, "Oh, absolutely I did." He paused and shook his head disapprovingly. "He's a lot bitchier when it's us two. How's it been here?"

You shrugged. "So, so. Pretty quiet."

He nodded and pushed up the pineapple-flavored ice. "Thought so. Jean's gone today, obviously. Is Mikasa here?"

You huffed softly at the mention of her. "I haven't seen her since breakfast. She's been upstairs all day."

He frowned. "Oh, I see. Armin told me about the kiss, by the way. At first, I was gonna make fun of you for passing out but now that just seems cruel."

"You think?" You laughed lightly and rested both arms on the counter.

The sound that followed from him was more of an exhale than a laugh. "Listen, Y/n, even if she's avoiding you right now, I know she'll come around. Just wait and see."

"You're right," you mumbled, sticking the freeze pop in your mouth again. Armin basically said the same thing. Eren sent you a quick smile and patted your shoulder before leaving through the hallway.

You swallowed the remaining ice and threw away the wrapper. Noticing the bin was full, you took the trash to the bigger bin outside. Maybe doing some chores would distract you from Mikasa for a while.

Plus, today was the only day that allowed you to do so. Practices for the band's upcoming performance were every day until the date of it. You'd be rehearsing 24/7 since it was scheduled on such short notice.

It was going to be at a middle school some of your friends went to. The DJ they booked before flaked and your manager was kind enough to offer your talents.

Jean was meeting with Hannes and the school administrators to work out some extra kinks before the practices began.

The only day there wasn't a rehearsal was on Eren's birthday. You all decided it'd be best to take the day off to celebrate and set up for the party that would be happening later in the night.

The day passed easily as you got caught up on chores that weren't done over the past few days. The house was messier than you liked it although it hadn't been long at all since the previous clean-through. However, it had been a hectic week.

Speaking of hectic, when Zeke was there, he sure made himself at home. That much was clear when you made it to the living room portion of the basement.

Eren probably couldn't find time to clean up yet. Either that or he was just lazy because at that moment he was more focused on a pinball machine than the state of his living space.

His brother's suitcases were lying open by the couch. To be honest, you didn't love the idea of a criminal's possessions lying around your home. So, you decided that throwing them in a storage closet was the best option. 

When you finished tidying up, you started a game on the pinball machine next to Eren's.

His birthday was in three days. The house looked a lot better than it did when you started, which was perfect for throwing a party. You could only hope it would stay that way.

After a few hours of playing games with him, Jean came down the stairs to let you know he was back from the school. He left when he saw neither of you were interested in what he had to say.

Once it got dark outside, you left Eren to his own devices and went to your own room to chill out some more.

Unfortunately, when you flopped down on your bed, Mikasa started to consume your thoughts again. In an effort to fight them, you turned on a show to distract yourself.

For the slow hours you spent staring at the screen, you couldn't focus, not once. No matter how hard you trained your eyes on the screen, you still thought about her.

Sighing, you got out of bed and walked to your bedroom door. You were careful of the creaking hinges, it was around midnight. Everyone would either be asleep or close to sleeping.

Except for Armin. You had no idea what he did at night but you knew better than to ask. However, he was probably pretty tired from the time spent at the hospital. So, there was a solid chance he actually was asleep.

You crept outside, checking that the front door didn't make too much noise. Your car was parked in the driveway since there was never room in the garage. The gravel underneath your feet made noise as you walked toward it. You pushed yourself onto the hood and leaned back against the windshield.

Drawing in a long breath, you stared up at the sky. You needed to calm down and clear your mind. This would help, as it usually did.

Even if it was a little chilly, it was warm for a night in March, especially this late.

The stress that bubbled inside you simmered down the longer you watched the thin clouds dim the stars.

Any negative thoughts you had about the situation with Mikasa or the previous days seemed to disappear the longer your focus was on the sky.

Gravel crunched and you snapped your gaze toward the noise. Sitting up, you were surprised by what you saw.

Mikasa froze when she realized she'd been caught. She held a white blanket in her arms and still had one foot on the porch steps.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

"Hey." Your breaths were a tad ragged from the initial scare.

She came closer to the car. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." You took the blanket from her arms and she pushed herself up to sit beside you.

"The door to your room was open when I came downstairs for a drink. I thought you'd be out here."

"Oh." She knew you better than you thought.

She spread the blanket over both of your laps and leaned down on the hood of the car.

She looked at the sky but your eyes were still on her. "Why did you come out here?"

After a moment of silence, her gaze finally shifted to you. "I wanted to apologize. Ignoring you was immature. Plus, I remember how you used to come out here when you were upset. Above all else, I wanted to make sure you were alright." A blush coated her cheeks when she finished talking.

You took note of that and couldn't help but blush yourself. "I'm okay. I understand why you'd ignore me, though. If you didn't want it, that was probably your only option since we have to see each other so much."

Her brows furrowed and she sat up again. "What? Y/n, did you think I didn't want to kiss you?"

You blinked stupidly. "Well, yeah."

She laughed. "You can be so ridiculous sometimes. I've always wanted to kiss you like that. I'm just not great at expressing it."

Even more heat rushed to your face. You gawked at her and she looked down at her feet. Many things were running wild in your head. For some reason, though, there was one thing that was so prominent in your mind once you remembered it.

Out of all the questions you could have asked, this one came out rather bluntly. "What did you mean in your letter? What should I know?"

Her eyes widened, she didn't expect you to ask about that yet, and quite frankly, neither did you. Nonetheless, she answered anyway. "If only you knew. That's what I wrote. That's easy to answer now. If only you knew how long I've loved you."

She turned her face and made direct eye contact with you. She seemed to know the next question on your mind. "You never knew it but I've been in love with you since high school."

That can't be right. This is a dream. You're dreaming, Y/n. What the actual fuck?

"Are you sure? Then why did you ask Jean out when we were seniors? Why did you break it off with me mere weeks before?" Your mind was racing and it translated into sentences quickly spilling from your lips.

She still looked straight at you. Her facade of confidence was making you nervous. "I'm sure. Back then, I was so afraid of what I felt for you. Pretending the feelings weren't real and projecting them onto Jean seemed like my easiest option. For years I convinced myself I loved him. But it was never him. It was always you. I felt so awful when I realized what I was doing."

And just like that, the facade fell. Her words were no longer held confidence. She was afraid of how you'd react. She had little idea that you were ready to be just as vulnerable as her.

"When did you realize?"

Looking up at the dark sky, she pushed a stray tuft of hair away from her face. She continued, sighing softly before she spoke, "When I saw him that night with Marco, I was relieved that I didn't have to be with him anymore. When I tried to figure out why that was, I could only think about you. Every feeling that scared me before came back. I got so scared that I left. But, even then, they never went away."

You were having some trouble believing that this was actually happening. Mikasa loved you back this entire time. If she hadn't kissed you before, you would've thought this was only possible in your dreams.

However, things were actually starting to make sense. That whole time it was your fault. Every night of those two years you spent wondering about what you could have done to make her stay. It turns out you did enough. You were the reason she left. 

But maybe you were the reason she came back as well. You could recall something Jean had told you a day before she came home.

"Why did you come back? You needed to do something?"

She looked back at you again. "I've just done it," she said.

Before you could process her words, she was leaning closer to you. Her lips were so close to brushing yours but she paused before they could fully touch. "Can I?" she whispered.

"You don't even have to ask."

When she kissed you, you felt everything. Her feelings, your feelings. The world was minuscule compared to you two. Anything else meant nothing at that moment.

It was the first time in a long time that you felt fully complete. You were a puzzle and she was the missing piece. It was like before, only this time, you knew for sure what you wanted.

Pulling away, you managed an, "I love you too, Mikasa." 

There were no other words that would feel so good to finally say out loud.

Everything was clear. You understood. 

Now more than ever, you wanted to be with her.

posted: 9/26/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[mochikeiji]

Rest Your Heart

↠ Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji

↠ Warning: TimeSkip AU! Over thinking, anxiety, angst to fluff

↬ Word Count: 2,052

Summary: Everyone has that one person who will always look after them and their well being. Bokuto has had enough of Akaashi torturing himself from all the papers and projects given to him. He didn't like knowing the fact that he was always drowning into an ocean of hardship and darkness, so he steps up his game into letting Akaashi take a break.

⇢ Day 5: Touch (cuddling, hand holding, huddling for warmth), Bed-sharing! @bokuakaweek2020

✎﹏

Working is tiring for everyone. It's even more exhausting to use your brain into thinking with good ideas. What's worse is that sometimes, people tend to force to milk out every bit of their brain juice in order to master and reach their own satisfaction in their work.

Akaashi was not a stranger to that description.

When you work as an editorist, like he is, it's automatically embedded in you that what you must submit it worthy to be read. Like a every writer, the common thing they had was content. Will it be good? Will it be read? Thousands, even millions of thoughts would swarm a single person for that matter. There mustn't be one speck of mistake in your work. Everything must be already there, written, revised and correctly formulated.

Dealing with this especially when you were assigned to take care of a big project from your seniors was a huge amount of pressure for Akaashi. He couldn't say he hated his job nor loved it. But he can tell that he wasn't happy knowing he wasn't taking care of his health anymore.

"Akaashi~ you're taking too long."

Luckily Bokuto was there.

"10 more minutes, Bokuto. I'll be done." he replies without taking his eyes nor hands off of his laptop. Still hunched over his desk, eyes squinting on each word he's typed in so far checking to see if there were grammatical errors or spelling errors that needed to be changed.

"You've said the same thing 6 times way back now, look," raising his foot, Bokuto points it out on their wall clock above his desk, "It's already 7:30 pm. You haven't even touched your onigiri!" Akaashi takes a small glance to his left side. The onigiri's were left cold and untouched for the past hour since Bokuto had bought home, "Seriously, you need to stop over working your self. One of these days you're bound to collapse.." He mutters the last past, not wanting to imagine his beloved Akaashi fall without him around to pick him up.

He hears a frustrated sigh coming from him. When your partner is stressed and you were just trying to help, it usually ends with the stressed one blowing up on the other one. Atleast, that's how other couples work.

"I'm sorry." not for both of them though, neither one would dare to hurt the other one. For one reason, Akaashi was just not the type of person you'd want to yell at, look at him, he's just a quiet, little man trying to pass by. Next is Bokuto, you can never yell at someone who looks like a child filled with innocence, and besides, he was right at this point for scolding him.

"The deadline is in 2 days time..I'm just terrified that if I don't submit something properly written, they'd stop giving me these opportunities." looking over his right side where a stack of papers were unorganized.

"So? Atleast you won't have to over work yourself. It doesn't matter anymore if you can't be happy and healthy." sitting up with crossed legs on the bed, Bokuto observes Akaashi from there, ready to attend to any needs and necessity.

"I'll be marked with a lower rank and get paid little..."

Bokuto knew how much Akaashi wanted to help him pay for their rent and other taxes ever since they've agreed to live with each other. Even though Bokuto had a lot of money in his pocket to aid them both, Akaashi simply doesn't want to be dependent on his lover and let him do all the hard work.

That's why he loved Akaashi so much. Even up until now he was still giving his all to him like in highschool.

His 120 percent in things.

Akaashi leans back on his chair, closing his eyes for a brief moment to gather all his thoughts to think properly. That gave Bokuto a chance to get up from their shared bed quietly as he walks up to him from behind. He wraps his strong arms around his neck from behind, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as he strokes away the frustrated tears now streaming on his cheeks.

"If it ever went down to that, I'll talk to your boss," moving his hand on both of his shoulder blades, he held the male down by pressing on the tight knots that had formed way back, "No objections, Keiji. You've been working hard, if they treat you like shit I'm complaining. There's no fairness." it was endearing to hear that coming from him. He had grown up to be a mature man than he was before. If Akaashi wasn't so frustrated he would've been crying from so much love coming from Bokuto.

He raises both of his hands, cupping Bokuto's smaller ones on his chest, "You're too nice to me." smiling sadly as he let's all pent frustration out with his tears, "I can never know what'll be enough for me to give you."

That was another thing that Bokuto was saddened about. The fact that Akaashi was an over thinker he'd often degrade himself to the lowest of all. To Akaashi himself, he was nothing more than a bother. A hindrance. But to Bokuto, how he wishes he could tell him he was more than enough and that he has given him too much even before.

"You're already good enough," tapping his chin with his fingers, he pushes his head a little, making his eyes flutter open, "I mean it, Keiji."

There was a short pause of silence. Neither one daring to move as they clung onto each other's love language and affection. Pretty soon, Bokuto found this opportunity as a good sign to lead him back to bed for a break. Removing his arms away from the seated male, much to his dismay, he grabs on the plate of onigiri's and walks to their shared bed, placing it on top.

"Come on, I'll eat with you."

Akaashi watches as Bokuto sits back down on their bed with his legs wide enough. Enough for him to fit and sit in between them, and pats the free space.

"But I have to fini—"

"Your dinner, yes, you're gonna finish your dinner. Now sit here!"

He can never say no when it comes to Bokuto whining. With a sigh, using his sleeves, he wipes away all the excess tears. Not bothering to take his glasses off, and stand up from his chair.

"I'm going to get im trouble after this." nesting himself in between Bokuto's legs and leaning his back on his chest. Bokuto hands him an onigiri along with his and watches Akaashi take his first, but small bite. He didn't have the mood to eat from his constant thinking which makes the owl haired male frown deeply.

"No, you're not. Have a little faith. I know you," taking a huge chunk of the onigiri in his mouth, "You always manage to make things work, that's what I love about you." Akaashi didn't like messy people, but he couldn't make any comment on how silly Bokuto looks and sounds with his mouth stuffed.

"Please don't chew your food while talking, Bokuto."

"And please don't be sad in front of the onigiri's, Kei. They have feelings too."

Hearty laughter filled the room coming from Akaashi. Bokuto savored every moment of it. His happiness was his happiness as well.

Watching Akaashi finally take bigger bites and chowing down like a starved man, hr let's him have all the onigiri's to himself, using an excuse that he was already full. He can see the way his eyes sparkled shyly as he took all the rice filled meals into his stomach.

"Hmm, you're getting kinda chubby there, Keiji," pushing his pointer finger on his cheek, he watches it squish adorably from his touch, "Not that I'm complaining. You look hot and cute." grinning when he saw his lips pout a little with his cheeks growing red, he couldn't help but pinch them.

"Bokuto please, I'm trying tk eat."

"I wasn't suggesting anything!"

Disposing the plate to their night stand, Akaashi wipes the side of his mouth with his sleeve, Bokuto hugging his stomach with his hands rubbing them.

"You're so soft, Keiji." he hums, squishing the baby fat from the smaller male.

"I need to get to work." he was feeling embarrassed. Had he really gained weight that much? Akaashi was taking a note in his mind that he was going to join Bokuto in jogging next time.

"But its late. And you need to rest." nuzzling his head on his shoulder. He really didn't want to see another one of those nights Akaashi would be sitting, hunched on his desk until sunrise.

Stroking his stomach to his chest, Bokuto whines a little when Akaashi tries half heatedly to break from his hold, "And I wanna cuddle you to sleep. It gets lonely when you always leave and work yourself to the bone."

There were times Akaashi would slip from his hold around 3 am to get back to work. During those times Bokuto would pretend to be asleep and wait for his return. And he got pretty upset he's reached until the birds started chirping. The bed was cold without him.

Akaashi feels the guilt rising from him as he remembers all those times he's left the older male. Thinking of what was more important, he forces the arms around his stomach down and turns his body to face him. Bokuto already had a sad expression on his face knowing he was still going to over work himself. It was already part kf his nature.

Until Akaashi wraps his arms around his neck and pushes him down to bed with him placed on top of Bokuto.

"I thought you were going back to work?" nonetheless, Bokuto wraps his arms tighter around Akaashi. He flinches when he feels him started to shake and his neck getting wet.

He was crying again.

Petting his head, Bokuto reaches out for his glasses, removing them and placing it gently on their night stand near the plate. He pushes his head deeper on his neck side, allowing him to cry as he whispers sweet words next to his ear.

"I promise, Keiji. You're already fine as you are. Please, let me take care of you."

He hears a choked sob escape from his lips, "You don't have to keep doing this if it doesn't make you happy. If you're doing this for me then I'm not hapoy if you're not." sniffling from his words, Akaashi listens to him, finding his body warm and home like feeling. His words soothing like a sweet lullaby.

"I don't care about anything, Keiji. I'm hapoy because I have you. But I'm more happier to see you happy and well."

Turning his head, golden eyes meeting teary gun metal ones, Bokuto swipes away the tears again with his thumb and places a small smooch on the tip of his nose.

"You're already enough for me and others. So please," pressing his forehead against his, they both closed their eyes, feeling their breaths close and their bodies warm with fluttering feelings, "Take a break for me."

Akaashi knows to himself sooner or later he'll crumble again like today. He knows to himself that he couldn't help but let his thoughts overcome his sight on things. But that didn't matter right now.

He was in his arms, and that's all he could think of with his presence.

"I love you so much." whimpering softly as he buries his face against his neck again. He felt so safe and secure woth Bokuto around. Loved. That everything around him got a little better. Brighter. It made him nuzzle even more into him and his small arms squeezing him.

Bokuto counters back the same squeeze of affection and kisses the side of his ear. His breathing soon slowing down and into a calm one before he hears soft snores from Akaashi.

"I love you too, Keiji. Sleep tight."

That day Bokuto doesn't sleep until 3 am. He has spent his night watching over him. Occasionally stroking his hair or back whenever he moves from his position.

He wasn't going to let anything ruin Akaashi and his peace for the day.

[onewfantaesy]

suggestion: an evil producer or something decides to out taemin's relationship while filming something/doing something live, and onew and minho come to the rescue (and since the fans already knew and didn't care, I bet they'd give the producer reasons to live in fear lol)

It was supposed to just be a documentary on various SM artists, and on the way the company runs in general. It was some sort of special anniversary thing, Taemin didn’t really know exactly. All he knew was that he had a small interview about his debut and his growth in the company and film a couple scenes learning some new choreography and recording songs and blah blah blah. Standard shit. Taemin wasn’t fazed.

Until months later when it was released and he was sitting at the premiere with so many labelmates and general employees and the press and even the damn CEO and there, on the big screen, is Kibum kissing his neck and tugging him close and Taemin himself giggling and trying to tug himself away, only to sneak a kiss on Kibum’s lips just moments later.

Apparently, secret relationships were a big part of this documentary. An unplanned addition. An unannounced plan that the director had as a way of exposing idol dating culture. Something that got no approval from those in charge of running this entire project, so pretty much everyone was shocked and confused and angry.

There were several other relationships outed as well, but Taemin felt frozen in his seat after his was finished playing out. So many people were looking at him, staring at him, whispering about him, and Kibum wasn’t even there that night and Taemin felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Let’s go,” Jinki, his manager, whispers to him. And he pulls Taemin up and ushers him out of the theater, out of the building, and into a van all while shielding Taemin as best he can from various flashing cameras and nosy reporters who want to know why he (and several other idols) are leaving so soon.

Taemin is 24. He’s 24 and he’s been an idol for ten years and he’s been dating Kibum for five years but he has no idea what to do. This is his entire life that’s just been potentially ruined by a single director with an agenda of outing idol relationships. His whole life is about to be turned upside down, he could lose his job, his fans, everything because of one person.

“It will be okay,” Jinki tells him. “They’re already no doubt figuring out how to damage control. No one else will ever see that movie. Everything will be okay.”

“No it won’t,” he chokes, staring straight out the window and not moving. “Everyone’s gonna hate me.”

“No they won’t.”

“Yes they will!” Taemin screams, his head snapping abruptly to turn to Jinki. “I have to be perfect! And not being single makes me not perfect! Dating a dude makes me not perfect!”

“Life is not about obtaining perfection,” Jinki tells, his voice firm. “You work your body to the point of pure exhaustion, mentally and physically, trying to achieve something that’s impossible. Your fans love you because you’re you. Because they like your music and your personality and your dancing. Real fans won’t give a shit who you’re dating so long as they make you happy.”

Taemin doesn’t say anything for a while, instead going back to staring straight ahead. Jinki ends up walking Taemin up to his house, making even helping him over to the couch. Taemin is completely dazed, and it’s really worrying.

“I’ve worked so hard,” Taemin eventually says in a strangled voice. “For practically my whole life, I’ve worked so, so hard to be good at this. And it’s all ruined.”

He’s panicking and tears are spilling from his eyes and Jinki just sits next to him and holds him close. He’s been Taemin’s manager since he debuted, he knew exactly when Taemin started Kibum, he’s been there for everything Taemin’s ever had to go through. But this is by far hitting Taemin the hardest.

But of course it is. It’s a blatant invasion of privacy, and it really does have the potential to ruin Taemin’s career. Jinki won’t let it, of course, but that doesn’t mean the possibility can’t scare Taemin.

Jinki rarely sees Taemin cry, and this is by far the most he’s ever seen Taemin cry so desperately. Jinki sits with him for hours, consoling him, comforting him.

When Kibum comes home later that night from teaching a dance workshop, he freaks out over seeing a crying, distraught Taemin being held by his manager.

“What happened?” Kibum asks, rushing over. “Did someone get hurt? Are you hurt? What happened?”

Jinki has to tell him, because Taemin can’t quite form a coherent sentence.

Kibum is pissed. He’s angry and pissed off and he wants to do something about it, but he decides the best thing to do right now is just help Taemin calm down.

“I’m gonna go,” Jinki says after Taemin finally starts breathing normally again. “I’ll text you any updates on the situation. Just try to lay low for now.”

For the next three days, Taemin barely leaves the bed. He doesn’t answer calls, he doesn’t go online, he barely even looks at his phone. He just stays in bed either staring out the window, sleeping, or watching old kids movies.

Kibum stays with him as much as he can, tries to help him feel some sort of comfort. But they don’t really talk much. He’s never seen Taemin retreat into himself as much or as drastically as this.

“I’m gonna go get us something to eat,” Kibum says gently after a couple days. “Do you want anything specific.”

“Not hungry.”

He’s barely eaten anything if Kibum hasn’t practically forced him.

“I’ll be back in a little bit,” Kibum says. “Maybe try showering before I get back?”

“Kay.”

He probably won’t. Kibum knows he probably won’t.

While the incident has been in a few gossip columns, it’s been effectively buried by the company. It could have potentially ruined several of their most popular artists, it wasn’t something they were going to let get out there. Really, they said the documentary was highly fabricated by the director, that it was entirely unreliable and fictional, and that’s enough to appease the general public and fans alike.

Although many fans know the dating rumors are true. Most of them don’t care. Taemin’s fans in particular have known about Taemin and Kibum for years, but they’ve never been bothered by it. So long as Taemin is happy, that’s all they care about.

But Taemin is clearly unhappy during this time. The photos and videos of him leaving the original viewing very clearly show him upset and panicked. He’s been MIA for over a week since then, and even Kibum’s Instagram and online presence has severely declined in activity. He posted from the dance workshop that was held the same night, but nothing since then. It’s very worrying, especially since Kibum usually posts at least once a day, if not more.

It’s not until Minho, an actor and frequent variety show guest, finally speaks up about it that Taemin realizes maybe it won’t be the end of the world.

“We might be in the public eye, but we’re still people,” Minho says. “And to put these relationships on blast and just out all these relationships as what? A power move? Is just so reprehensible. It doesn’t matter if they’re true or not, you’re actively trying to ruin someone’s career because you think idols dating should be talked about more. But that just opens us up to more potential for hate by non-fans. And seeing so much hate does a lot more damage to a person’s health than you think it would.”

Minho, although not technically an idol, is an actor under SM. And his relationship with a stylist within the company was shown as well.

But seeing that Minho is okay, that he’s still out there doing his job and his life isn’t crumbling around him - that helps Taemin realize his career isn’t over because of one potential scandal.

Taemin is back to his usual self after a couple weeks. He’s still nervous and afraid of backlash, but he tries his best to just be happy in the moment. Plus, it helps that Kibum is so supportive.

After almost two weeks of complete silence from both of them, a fun video of Taemin learning new choreography is uploaded to Kibum’s Instagram. They’re in a company practice room, and Taemin comes out of a spin giggling, a little dizzy, and falling over to make funny faces at Kibum. Five minutes later, Taemin posts a mirror selfie in the same room with Kibum standing right next to him, an arm wrapped around his waist.

They’re so obviously together. They’ve never been super subtle about it. But they should be allowed to make the decision of when to officially announce it. And right now, neither of them are comfortable doing that. And that’s okay.

[panicatthehottopical]

Just Tell My Crush I Like Him

Summary:

This was it. This was the day Virgil was gonna confess...except he couldn’t. He promised the he’d confess today but he just didn’t feel comfortable so, he did the next best thing.

OR

Virgil rants with his crushes about his other crushes and none of them know he likes more than one of them

Pairing: LAMP

Warnings: Self deprication and a slightly sexual joke

Tags: Pining, fluff, angst, and a touch of chaos?

Chapter 1

If there was one thing Virgil could do, it was talk about his crushes for hours upon hours. During different days, Virgil would spend one on one time with different sides: On draining days- he'd recuperate in Logan's room, on emotional days-he'd bake with Patton, and on inspired days- he'd participate in a craft with Roman. At least, that'd how it started. A few days a month, he'd somehow end up with the other three, typically under those circumstances. Logan would invite him to spend time in his room as the other read. They would interact a bit here and there, sometimes sharing whatever they were looking at and debating the subject. Mostly though, days in Logan's room were just a relaxed way to spend time with each other. If Virgil was ever significantly distressed, Patton would ask Virgil to bake with him. Virgil accepted as the change of scenery and activity helped the anxious side calm down. In some cases, the baking even made him excited. After a particularly wonderful day, Virgil asked Patton if he'd like to bake. Now, he was definitely a tad bit nervous, but he knew it would make the other's day. Patton was certainly surprised but visibly excited. After that, baking became their thing: no longer as just a way to recover, but as a way to just spend time together. Virgil's first encounter spending one on one time with Roman was a bit different. Unlike the others who wanted to spend time with Virgil in those instances, Roman needed a helping hand and the others were preoccupied with one of Thomas's dilemmas. Roman didn't mind having Virgil be the one to help however, he was a bit weary due to never interacting with Virgil separate from the group. Their interaction was uncomfortable for a few minutes before they started playfully bickering as Roman led him into Imagination. Virgil leant Roman a second pair of eyes (not literally, Remus) as he observed the prince's painting. He had spent days slaving away on it and every second paid off thanks to the look on the shorter side's face. He-was-spellbound. The painting depicted a mixture of things the sides enjoyed but surprisingly the differences in interests complimented each other beautifully in the swirl of colors. Once Virgil was finally able to tear his eyes away, he complimented the prince and for the first time in his life, had no pointers to give. Roman didn't even try to contain his joy at the response. And yet even after receiving no helpful advice, Roman asked him for his opinion again, on another project. At some point Roman began helping Virgil with his drawing techniques while Virgil helped Roman with specifically dark or disney themed projects. Virgil helped when Roman created another castle in Imagination, only this time it had elements from every single Disney movie in existence: Pete's Dragon, Treasure Planet, you name it! (And let's just say Virgil made sure to leave a few extra surprises for Roman in that castle of his.)

Despite his effort to remain distanced from the others, Virgil found himself looking forward to every moment he spent with them. Light hearted conversations and banter with the others began to give way to something Virgil was extremely unfamiliar with. Conversations began going deeper and deeper and deeper still and this stirred something in Virgil that he didn't know he had the capacity for, love. Learning the though processes and dreams of the others along with their unfiltered care for him lead Virgil to fall deeply for them. The more time he spent with them, the more time he wanted to spend with them. Family meals and movie nights became more lively as they all became closer and he wouldn't trade that for any-well, maybe...no. He wouldn't trade that for anything. As they revealed personal things about themselves, Virgil began to as well. He was admittedly slower to open up but all three of them were patient, nonetheless.

Unfortunately, his feelings couldn't stay hidden. After a nice debate in the starry room followed by scrolling through tumblr and reading respectively, the silent agreement to avoid that territory was breached.

"May I inquire something?"

Virgil raised an eyebrow, "Shoot."

"I have nothing to 'shoot' at you, and even if I did, I doubt I would be inclined to do so."

"It's means ask away, buddy."

Logan loosened his tie seeming almost nervous as he spoke, "Do you possess romantic feelings for anyone?"

Virgil's body went ridged. Did he know? Virgil stuffed his phone into his pocket and kept his hands there as well. As much as he'd rather escape into the world of tumblr, if he held his phone any longer Logan might have noticed how much his hands had begun to shake from nervousness. Virgil tried to force his shoulders to relax as he shifted into a more comfortable position,

"What brought this on?"

Okay, that was good. Figure out how much he knows or thinks he knows and figure out a way to counter, just like any other debate.

"I've noticed an increase in the length of time you spend around Patton, along with more of a variety of expressions than you had previously shown when exposed to him, and an increase in the length and frequency of your time spent 'spacing out' or as Patton would say, during your 'daydreams.'

Virgil opened his mouth only to close it again, he had no idea how to respond to being caught but boy was Logan attractive when he did that. Shaking his head and snapping out of it, Virgil simply nodded. Logan gave him a small timid smile as he asked if the emo would like any advice, if he needed it, because despite not experiencing a relationship himself, Logan did have some helpful information about them in his pretty little head. "I'd uh I'd like that, thanks Lo," Virgil gave a two finger salute before slipping out of the room. It was a little earlier than he'd normally leave but not so early that he'd seem upset. This was a relatively rare occurrence, as he would spend every moment with Logan that he could, but what the heck it was a pretty weird day already and Virgil had a few things he needed to wrap his head around.

“And then he just winked at me! Completely unaware of how adorable what he just did was! I swear that one is gonna be the death of me!” The logical side chuckled at this, Virgil had previously explained the phrase and it was certainly entertaining to see it in use.

“And did you feel his hair? Softest thing in the world I’m telling you. I just wanna hug him and never let go.”

“He is quite endearing.” A content sigh escaped the shorter one’s lips, “You can say that again.”

The next to find out was Roman. The prince gently rested his sword on his shoulder as the walked, similarly to how a guard would in old movies. The atmosphere was intoxicating from exotic plants to mystical beasts, this part of Imagination was not to be missed. They walked along the stone path as the Prince strayed from their previous subject, “He’s just soooooooooo annoying.”

Virgil gave him a look, “Who?”

“Logan. It’s just.he. He just. He’ll correct some of my ideas which can be helpful but is sometimes just hurtful but then there are these other times,” he trailed off for a moment as a dreamy look crossed his features, “and he’ll give me this smile.”

“So you’re upset he smiles at you?” Virgil didn’t know whether to be exasperated or amused. “No well uhm yes? It’s just so annoying. Have you seen the way he flips his hair out of his face after working out?” Roman turned to look beside him, only to find that Virgil had stopped walking a few feet back.

“Wait I’m not the only one?” Virgil took a quick few steps and stood facing Roman.

“The only one what?” Virgil was too wrapped up in the fact that he wasn’t alone in this that he didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Not the only one that finds that extremely attractive.”

“Wait, you too? Yes he’s so freaking hot! And he, somehow doesn’t even know it.” Roman’s arms were thrown around in all directions as they fanboyed over the freaking hot guy who had no idea when he was being awfully distracting. They stopped by a creak along the path and Roman kneeled down to drink some. Virgil leant against a tree as he waited for his companion. Roman coughed for a minute or two before breathing steadily once more.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, choked on the water. Nothing shall ever defeat this prince! Nothing can choke me no manticore or spider people, I shan’t lose to this liquid again!” He claimed.

“You’d let Logan choke you,” Virgil smirked. Roman sputtered in response before increasing his speed as he stepped back onto the stone path, so that Virgil couldn’t see his blushing face. He muttered an embarrassed, “You’re not wrong” before attempting to distract the other. Virgil found his response surprisingly adorable as he sped up and fell into step beside him. He wasn’t gonna let Princey live this down but he’d let it go for now.

And lastly, Patton found out during one of their baking sessions. Patton had just finished washing the dough off his hands as they waited for the cookies to bake when he asked the question “Have you ever fallen for someone before?” Virgil was incredibly nervous at the question but quickly decided he do what he tried to do when Logan asked. He just has find out how much Patton knows and deny it. “Why? What’s up?” Patton sighed at the non answer, “It’s just, I have so many feelings. You know, I’m Thomas’s feelings, so does that mean that nobody else can have crushes?” Patton tried to dry of his sweaty hands on his apron, but it was no use. “I don’t think that’s the case. You know we can all feel other emotions so why would feeling-feelings be any different?”

“I have no way to be sure. There are so many things we still don’t understand about ourselves and other sides. I could spend my entire time pining and never know whether or not there’s even a possibility of having a shot.” Patton looked so lost that Virgil let his guard down just a tad, “At the very least at least two of us, other than you, have those kinds of feelings.” Patton’s eyes lit up, “Wait really?” At Virgil’s nod Patton started hopping up and down in excitement. After the initial excitement wore off Patton looked a bit perplexed, “How do you know? That the other person has feelings, I mean.”

“Well, we’ve talked about feelings like that before.” “Is it okay for me to ask who the other guy with feelings is?” Virgil thought for a moment, “I don’t think he’d mind me saying, he’s literally the side that covers romantic stuff.”

Patton practically squealed, “Roman!”

“Yep,” Virgil said popping the ‘p’

“I bet he’d be super romantic. Probably do all of those grand romantic gestures.”

Virgil would have laughed if Patton hadn’t looked so invested, “Yeah that’s actually like half of what he talks about.”

“I wish someone would do that for me.” Virgil frowned at Patton’s disappointment, “I’m willing to bet a limb that someone will.” Patton gave a small genuine smile, at that.

“So how about you?”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to be swept off of your feet?” “Depends on the person and how they do it. As long as they didn’t pressure me into anything or make me feel extremely uncomfortable, I wouldn’t mind it.”

“Wait, really? I thought you’d be against that kind of thing.”

“Nah, I mean I’m not dying for it to happen but I think it’s really sweet. Shows how much they care, ya know?” Patton smiled and ruffled Virgil’s hair, “Yeah, I think so.” The timer went off and Patton hopped over to the oven, earning a smile from V. Something was tossed onto Patton’s chest as he struggled to catch it, “Forgetting something?” Patton stared at Virgil with a puzzled expression before both of them said, “Mittens,” at the same time. The little guy had a habit of forgetting the oven mitts and burning his hands, while baking. Patton put them on his hands before pulling out the hot tray of goey cookies and breathing in the smell. The scent was a mixture of butter, flour, sugar, and chocolate, it was his favorite smell. Patton’s blissful expression caused Virgil to melt a little bit inside. They snacked on a few cookies and put the rest in a bowl, for later. The question from earlier got him thinking, “Hey, Pat?” “Yeah, kiddo?” “If you could date any of the sides who would you pick?” Patton looked away, a little embarrassed, “I’d probably pick Roman.”

“Okay yeah, I can see that.” “What about you?” Virgil had already kinda told the other two about two of his crushes so maybe it would be nice to have someone to talk about his last crush with? Well, he was about to find out. “I guess, Roman.” Patton was caught a little off guard but started gushing over how sweet Roman was and how he subtlety made sure all of the others were taken care of, in a way that differed from the others. Logan made sure they were physically taken care of, Virgil made sure they were safe, Patton made sure they were taken care of-emotionally, and Roman was extremely protective of them but tried to cover it up. They all had their ways of looking out for each other, one they all had in common was ranting. Whenever a side was stressed or confused or really happy, the sides would rant to each other and the receiving side, no matter who it was, always listened and helped where they could. Patton and Virgil had a new topic to talk about. Whenever Roman made something for Pat or did something out of the ordinary when with Virgil, they would meet up and talk about how incredibly sweet, dumb, and just overall ridiculous he was.

As amazing as this was, this was bad. This was so so bad! Virgil knew that Patton had feelings for Roman and Roman had feelings for Logan but he didn’t know if Logan liked anyone. It felt wrong hiding what he knew from his friends, especially since he hadn’t told them everything right off the bat. But, there was no way he could tell them that he liked all of them. He knew for a fact that they cared about him a great deal but that it was platonic, I mean he knew their crushes so how could they like him.

After a couple months of all of this, Logan forced him into a position he would rather not be in. Logan had informed him that while it was beneficial to confide in him with his feelings, it would leave him feeling unhappy if he did nothing about it. Something about it not being fair to let Virgil hurt and continue pining when he was certain Patton returned his feelings. What Logan didn’t know is that Patton liked Roman! Nonetheless, Logan had stated that either Virgil told Patton or he would. Virgil had till the end of the week to make a decision. And here’s the thing, he couldn’t ask for advice because Roman would think that he liked Logan and not Patton and would probably try to fix things but end up making them worse. He could tell Patton that Logan had said the same thing that he had actually said to him but change the fact that he would tell Roman instead of Patton but then Patton might try to confront Logan, in a kind manner which would just result in Logan telling him anyway. It was a lose lose situation so, he did the next best thing.

During a break between the movies of a nice movie night Virgil did the only thing he could think of. Moving the popcorn off of his lap and getting off of the couch, he double checked to make sure everyone that needed to be there was in the room. It wouldn’t be very smart to say something while Patton was grabbing drinks or Roman was in the middle of a song. Virgil stood up quickly glancing at all of them before staring at the floor, “Tell my crush I like him,” the second the words escaped his mouth, Virgil bolted out of the room. Even if the others hadn’t been stunned by the fact that he was telling them to tell his crush that he liked them, they still wouldn’t have been able to stop him from leaving. Logan was the first to break the silence by clearing his throat.

Chapter 3 is up on Ao3 :D

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25576879/chapters/62070481