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#i was gonna keep going and say some stuff but... i think this is enough
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Back to Here - No Love Lost One Shot
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Series Masterlist
Author's Note: One-shot request from the amazing @afroslacks! Title from Shade of Yellow by Griff
Word Count: 1.2k
Summary/Warnings: Takes place in Chapter 14. We once again face the horny fluff.
When you’d told Ben you were okay with him touching you in front of everyone, your exact phrasing was as long as you’re not gross. You’re absolutely positive he’d heard you as well, because he’d rolled his eyes before kissing the words out of your mouth.
But the man doesn’t listen. On purpose. You know it’s on purpose, because usually he’ll grunt and grumble but do what you tell him, and right now he’s not even pretending to remember.
What’s annoying is that you’re not even that mad about it. What’s more annoying is that he knows you’re not mad about it, because he’s not even worried about you making him stop. Ben never pushes your lines to tries try see if he can make you budge, because he knows you won’t and he’ll get in trouble. But that also means he’s impossibly good at knowing what lines aren’t real. What things you tell him to do that you say because sometimes you just say stuff. Sometimes you’re just trying to pretend that you’re not always thirsty for him, don’t always want him at your side.
And the asshole has you figured out. He knows that when you say we’re going to team dinners every night you mean it, but when you say play nice with everyone you’re talking about everyone except Butcher. Ben knows that if you tell him clean up after yourself you’re serious, because that’s the start of it. Ben cleans up once and now, months later, you somehow trust him with your life and every part of you he’ll take. He also knows if you tell him we need to get out of bed he can just hold you tighter and you’ll immediately give in with a sigh.
He knows when you say not everything, not yet it’s important that he listens. That he can take everything else he wants except that, and he does. Ben touches you everywhere you’ll let him, but waits for you to give him the clear to take more.
He knows that when you said don’t be gross you just meant don’t make me visibly horny in front of everyone. Don’t make me grind into you or pin me on top of the table. 
And he is walking that line very precariously.
“Bloody fuckin hell,” Butcher mutters, and you can feel his glare from across the table. “You twats can’t keep it in your pants for one hour? Some of us are tryin to eat.”
“They are still in their pants,” Frenchie’s words are muffled from a mouthful of pasta. “And I am eating just fine.”
“That’s cause you’re a fuckin pervert, Mate.” Butcher snaps. “I didn’t come here to see two supes neckin like teenagers. I came here because Hughie gets all bloody puppy faced when I don’t.”
“You promised-“
Butcher cuts Hughie off with a scoff. “I’m here, ain’t I? And I would appreciate it if I could fuckin eat my shitty ass spaghetti without worryin that Soldier Boy’s gonna cum all over the table!”
A chorus of groans echoes through the room, and it’s almost enough to make you push Ben away.
Almost. But he drops his mouth to your neck, pulls you closer in his side, and you decide you can find a way to live with yourself.
You’re starting to worry that he can read your mind. Because before that brief hesitation even fades, Ben sucks the skin at the base of your throat once—sloppy and wet—and pulls away. You’re grateful, half because you can bury your flushed face in his shoulder as he gives Butcher a lazy grin, and half because you were getting dangerously close to climbing on top of him.
“It’s not our fault all you pussies have blue balls.” Ben drawls, and you kick him under the table, glaring up at his stupid, smug, handsome face.
Don’t be an ass.
He rolls his eyes. They’re being fucking prudes.
Benjamin.
“You two care to have this conversation out loud?” You turn to see MM looking at you with a bored expression. He’s never really pissed about this anymore, and you think he just gave up on being disgusted. He doesn’t like it, but he’s not mad. It’s honestly more than you could ask for.
“No.”
You whack Ben’s arm. “Sorry. We’ll stop.”
Ben scoffs, and hunches over his plate. His arm over your shoulders drops down, tugging you into his side so you can only move your hands—everything past that trapped against his body—and you don’t care. He’s touching you, and he’s warm, and you can feel his annoyance but it’s nothing compared to his desire. It’s nothing compared to the affection you can feel rush through him when you give him a smile, even if he just grunts and glares at his pasta like it’s the one that cock-blocked him.
You know it’s a lie. You might not lie to Ben, but you lie a lot to your team. You lie to Hughie when you say you like certain Billy Joel songs because you don’t want him to gape at you and try to convince you otherwise. You lie to Frenchie when you say you’d love nothing more than to hear about his latest supe-killing weapon, because he gets really excited—it’s kind of adorable—and sometimes it’s actually pretty interesting. You lie to Annie when she picks you up for lunch and asks—every time without fail—what’s going on between you and Ben. You say it’s complicated, but it’s not. It’s actually really simple: You want Ben more than you’ve ever wanted anything and he wants you but not like that, just as a friend he can fuck. And that kills you a little, so you’re trapped in this limbo where Ben can almost make you moan at the dinner table—but you won’t let him just carry you back to your bed and make you scream and fall apart under him—and Annie can give her a look that tells you she knows. She knows you won’t stop doing this. There won’t be more tonight, because Butcher’s still glaring at you and Hughie’s whole face looks like a tomato, but tomorrow the exact same thing will almost certainly happen. Ben will kiss you once, innocently enough if you’d only seen it in passing, and you’ll taste him, you'll feel the want pounding in his chest, and immediately pull him closer. The absolute fucking asshole always anticipates you keeping yourself against him—he plans on it—and his arm will immediately move over your shoulders, hand reaching your jaw to angle your head where he wants it. And then he’ll go and go and go until someone coughs—Hughie or Annie—or makes a remark—Butcher or MM—and he finds whatever line you have for the day. Then he’ll pull back and you have to pretend you’re fine with it. Like your pouting is because he’s being cocky and annoying and not because you wish he would pick you up and lay you on the table. 
It’ll happen the after as well, then again after that, then every night until Butcher either shoots one of you or you figure out a way to just attach Ben to you forever. 
End Note: They really can make any situation horny. Also if you've noticed I'm re-using gifs, yeah :( I am. Please sign my petition to make Jensen Ackles just do stuff in character so we can have more gifs.
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@manicjk @lordofthunderthr @artemys-ackles
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Just friends? Fuck no.
author’s note: I love enemy!jj and I’m a hoe for an enemies you lover arc but I just want me a flirty best friend jj so bad so I had to write his headcanons (?). I don’t even know what this is actually. There’s hc and small little blurbs all together so it’s definitely a little longer than a blurb but not a one shot either. I’m confused but I hope ur not. Enjoy!
summary: just some hc(?) about best friend!jj !!
pairing: best friend!jj maybank x pogue!reader
First of all, you can’t convince me that this man isn’t clingy with his best friend. And honestly not just with you and Kie but with Jb and Pope too. So picture this, divorced parents, your dad lives in another country with his new wife and your mom lives with your sister whilst you stay in the château. Your best friend John B offered you a room after his father made it clear that he wasn’t going to be back soon if never. So now you’re practically living in the château, stopping by your own house to check on your mom and your sister every couple of days. That also means you’re practically living in the same house with the one and only Jj Maybank.
At that point you were familiar with the lines such as; “How can you wake up that early? What’s the deal with that?” or “Y/N open the door! I don’t care that you’re changing, I left my lighter in there!”. He would wake up in the spare room with his messy hair and in his John B’s shorts. No shirt, obviously. He has to show off those muscles. “Yeah, you know, this is what happens when you’re god’s favorite.” He act’s like this is totally from his genes and just basically from carrying stuff to help his dad and shit but his dirty little secret is that he works out for it. Not a lot but enough to keep him in shape.
He’d walk around the château looking for some kind of food, any kind. He’d see Jb standing in the hallway, fresh out of shower, hair wet, of course he wouldn’t miss the chance to make some kinda flirty comment. “Hey, Jb. Morning shower? Too bad, wish you had invited me.” John would scoff, rolling his eyes, “Stop saying shit like that, Jj.” But Jj being the Jj he is, of course he wouldn’t stop. “Cmon gimme a hug, babe.” “Get away from me.”
“Don’t be shy.” He’d playfully caress his shoulder, with a smile on his face. “I’m literally throwing up in my mouth.” John took a step back, replicating gagging noises. “Cmon, John B. Don’t hide the infamous John D from me.” The brunette boy would pick up a pillow from the couch, shoving it right in the middle of his face before speaking, “Dude, you creep me the fuck out.” In that moment you’d walk in door from the porch, you’d woke up early to enjoy to morning breeze because you knew you’d be burning and melting and suffering thanks to Jb who kept putting off getting his AC fixed. “There she is! Hey, peach.” he’d say smiling, walking over to you before grabbing your face and giving your cheek multiple wet sloppy kisses.
“Gross.” you’d mumble. You’re tripping if you think this boy wouldn’t call you some kinda cheesy lame nickname like ‘peach’ or ‘sugar’ or ‘cupcake’ that’s suddenly music to your ears when he says it with that crooked southern accent of his. “Okay, rude. You lookin’ mad cute today. Don’t wanna kiss?” you pushed his face away, not able to stop the smile growing on your face.
Since when did you pushed him? You made the blonde mad. He’d wrap his arms around your neck, placing his head on top of yours. He’d pull you towards him until your back was completely leaning against his chest. He was heavy, you had to give him that. He was hot too. Not that way. I mean, yes, that way, he was hot, everyone knew that, including him. But he was the type of guys whose body heat was always high. The heat from how he wraps his arms around you, hot. He’s hot. In every way, shape or form. “Jay, get off! You’re hot!” He’d raise an eyebrow, pretending to be impressed by your sudden compliment that he knew was not a compliment, “Oh, I’m aware. But too bad I’m not gonna get off of ya.”
Definitely the kind of guy that would get offended if you told someone he wasn’t your boyfriend, “No partners over! This is my house and y’all are using it as a motel six!” John yelled to Kiara who had just been walked in by the owner of that very house. “That’s not fair! Y/N and Jj stay here all the time!” Kiara bit back. You crossed your arms over your chest, furrowing your brows, “What does that even mean?” Kiara sighed, “It means that boyfriend and girlfriends do stay here together and that I’m allowed to too!” you gave her a disgusted look, okay, to be completely honest, it was kinda cute she said that but you couldn’t act like you find it cute. Obviously. “We are not!” you whined. Jj shot you a look, “I mean, you don’t have to say it like that…” he frowned. The man actually frowned.
“Huh?” you were genuinely confused, was he upset? “You didn’t had to sound so aggressive about it…”
Sometimes he’d come up to you in the middle of the night, tv noises coming from the living room, meaning Jb wasn’t asleep either. “Peach?” you saw his figure on your doorstep,“Yeah, Jay?” you sat up on your bed. “I can’t sleep.” he walked over to you, sitting on your bed. “Why?”
He pouted, “Hot.” Oh how the tables have turned, “Thank you.” you spoke as he’d grin, scooting over more to your side. “I always appreciate a self aware girl.” “Okay, back off playboy.”
You scooted back, closer to the head of your bed now. “I’m just being honest.” he kept moving to get closer to you as much as he can. “Well, keep your honest ass over there.” you gently pushed his knee, trying with everything you have in you to keep your distance.
Sometimes you’d wonder if you were really only best friends. You knew how you felt about him but this is how he was with everybody, so he was ridiculously confusing. All the long weed sessions in the Twinkie, the way he’d beg to be the one rubbing your sunscreen, how he’d get visibly happy every time you’d pick him to sit next to on the couch. He is cheesy. And he isn’t embarrassed of it. If anything he knows he’s cheesy and I feel like he’s proud of it.
He’d yawn and gently stretch his arms, one of them slowly going over your shoulders and he’d end up caressing your arm. You know what he’s doing, he knows you know what he’s doing. Is he ever going to stop? No one knows. The way he’d rest his hands (definitely and totally not gripping them like you’re gonna jump off the bike and run away) on your thighs on red lights whenever you’re on his bike for him to drop you off for you to see your mom.
How he’d wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder despite your whines about how you want him off of you. It’s just him, it’s just Jj Maybank and you don’t know if he’ll change or not. Not that you want him to, anyway.
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moonshynecybin · 22 hours
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would you mind sharing your marc marquez likes you power ranking?
im still working it out in my minddddd… so. with the caveat that i am just saying words recreationally:
alex
HUGE gap
aleix has known him FOREVER. theyre complex but im throwin him here bc there arent many men on the grid marc would let ass-lift him to the moon
im gonna say. fabio. traded helmets. always friendly. also fabio LOVES HIM and marc will usually match someone's energy…. have they hung out much this year? no. but we always have TOMORROW
enea… maybe… he’s ALSO known him about ten years by now and enea is like. the contrarian of the italians. friendly little guys having gay brunch together as ive discussed… again marc WILL meet your energy and i think enea is just kind of a dreamy lil sweetie sometimes and he can leave stuff on track pretty well. marc appreciates that i would wager…
about on par with enea if MAYBE slightly under him depending on who we’re talking about are the rest of the spanish/catalan riders... he helmet traded with jorge martin last year, he was teammates with joan... i think mileage varies depending on how long hes known em but we can go ahead and group them under distantly friendly but bonded by place of origin. pedro not really a marc fan but also a child so he maybe drops a few places but not too far.
luca. true neutral. would be friendlier but the vale of it all prevents them from wearing joint turtlenecks to some event in like. cunty solidarity
diggia? needs further investigation
pecco. do i think hes UNfriendly no. do i think they could easily GET unfriendly absolutely. they dont super jive to each other's jokes, pecco was mean to alex like three weeks ago, they genuinely would rather crash than let the other pass, and there's the specter of vale's little legacy coloring every interaction. that being said i think they are both VERY invested in not having the media recognize it as an actual personal rivalry and could play a game of cards in an airport waiting lounge if pressed. pecco i think in particular has this gentlemen's duel perspective, but marc simply doesnt want to get asked about it every weekend until he dies... pecco ALSO likes to get a lil bitchy in presscons and i think marc doesnt like that lol. have some couth. anybody remember BYE BYE HONDA ? not endearing
franky. marc and alex have had an INSANE relationship this year with franky including like. rushing to his aid in a medical emergency and numerous racing incidents where franky was low key being a maniac with BOTH of them. lots of that. franky had been around the longest of the academy kids so he has enough context to keep his cards relatively close to his chest but i get the sense hes a little WISER than some of these other punks so hes kind of an x-factor. ranking him below pecco purely bc i dont think marc in particular takes kindly to alex slander lol sorry 2 my frankyalex queens you are correct but MARC. is stupid thx
jack miller. called marc a whiny princess or something about his arm surgery that marc ranks among the most traumatic events of his life. im guessing marc did not enjoy that.
bez. no quarter for this clown.
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seariii · 9 months
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how do i threaten my boss to give me a raise
Ok so. You have to be careful with this one, because too much aggression will send you to prison, but too little will ruin your reputation.
+ ゚ * 。 For legal reasons, this is a joke 。⁠ * ゚⁠ +
My advice would be, attack something personal, like their family, and say something among the lines of "oh poor little ol' me, who has no money and so many taxes to pay" in an overly dramatic way, extra points if you throw yourself in a sofa or something.
After that, show them a picture of their family "btw look at what I found! I heard X school (where the children go) is really expensive... And this other adult is so pretty that could look good on my wall! Haha just kidding!" What does that mean exactly? Let the boss decide on their mind. And then add "I don't know who they are tho, but I thought that they could be my lucky charm, so I was debating on picking them up" and hold eye contact with a confident smile until the boss looks away. Even if they say something or get aggressive, keep holding the contact and evade with "oh it's just a joke, but the adult had car keys for Y car, thought it was interesting" just drop information you have, right?
After the boss finally looks away, you put your hand on their shoulder to assert dominance and say playfully "anyways! About that raise!"
If it doesn't work, you can always kidnap one of the people and send your boss a fake finger or something. But while the person is in your care, treat them nicely, they will be really scared and this isn't their fault, we want to scare the boss, not the family.
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#snap sketches#i was thinking about all the weird mine variants that exist and theres more than i thought there was#i JUST wanted to do suit variants tho none of the extra okinawa and new year rggo cards. and a bare variant#because i can ...... also cause i needed to exercise the knowledge that his plushie's undies are white SOMEHOW#funny enough the only time i like properly assembled mines colors was on my kirin mine sheet so yay for a semiproper color sheet#anyway. the grey suit's inspo'd from the date scene in y3- that shot with him and kanda#i chose a brown tie to act as an in-between transition from blue tie to gold tie#the rggo cards are forever funny to me but while i was drawing these i remembered that for some reason#with the newest card mine's sleeve is. white ???????? its white .#i only realized this after posting these to twitter so if you saw this there first and are like 'girl his sleeve changed color'#Thats Why <- literally no one is thinking that#ok i have nothing else to say probably im gonna eat one more bowl of pasta then go to bed#i keep mentioning kirin mine so maybe ill doodle one of my things with that tomorrow ..#if not i have stuff i wanna draw tomorrow so if im not tired after grocery shopping Theres That To Look To#ok bye its pasta time <- has decided to make pasta my personality for june#oh my god wait its june now jesus christ. yeah happy pride month ive finally drawn mine again#ok bye bye pasta's calling my name
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faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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nervocat · 3 months
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man.
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#gonna say I'm venting a bit (kinda of a lot)#but I may seem selfish from this and let me say now ik everyone was putting themselves first (which is a very good thing)#but having three mutuals deactivate their accounts within I think two months or so??#I rlly don't like to be negative and I might also take a break from Tumblr (as much as I love posting here#so I'm still unsure if I'll even stick to that) bc of how negative I've been lately#I just don't want to keep venting and putting that on everyone so#but yeah I just. It makes me sad to see old/new mutuals go#I never thought I'd have to like#witness it#Idk#I've cried over losing them all and it feels rlly silly but I mean idk#I (try to — my feelings with crying are iffy and I hate admitting I do cry) not cry over everything but I just can't word stuff rn#might be posting less/not posting at all for the next few days or so#I'm gonna be busy in July anyways so it's probably better to just say that now#sorry guys I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally lately (an example being gender dysphoria but I can't even word the stuff going on#not to sound like I'm overexaggerating bc I rlly don't wanna seem like I am. It's nothing too serious so don't#be worried at all pls I'm ok enough I won't just disappear)#I just wish I could have alone time in my room with my cats without my family bugging me for a few days#It's tiring atp#I wanna lock myself up just to recooperate and figure out how to deal with certain things the best I can#anyways yap fest over I'm gonna go play wuwa and build Jinshi more#sorry for venting again 🫡🫡
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iceeericeee · 11 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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triglycercule · 17 days
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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡
dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)
#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients#i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE#i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all#do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR#i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like#i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts#too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it#oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys#or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts#quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose#my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags#tricule rant#i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls#like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff#i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened#its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations#anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic#even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES#anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real#and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages#the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them#everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust#he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M#i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me#i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation#and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY#it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today
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tomfordjasminrogue · 10 months
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rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
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byanyan · 4 months
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the amount I've been hoarding away some of the memes I've seen on the dash over the last week or so is so not okay for someone with as many drafts as me ashfjdh
#me: i want to focus on getting through all my drafts when i get some energy back#also me: but good & juicy memes........#I'm thinking I'm gonna lean more into doing whatever the hell pleases me once I get back to writing tbh#but I'm almost definitely throwing all the drafts into a paused queue that I won't start posting until they're all finished#will I reblog a meme or two to play with as I do that? probably. almost definitely.#fresh stuff always helps get my brain going again ahdjgsg#but know that drafts will be happening!!!! I did delete some stuff but like. not enough lmfao. I have too many great threads#that I can't bear to let go of and i've kinda accepted that at this point#sorry I'm so slow y'all pls know that me taking forever to get to shit has nothing to do with how much I'm enjoying our threads#the fact that I'm clinging to them despite wanting to start completely fresh & dump everything says a lot more about how much I love em all#anyway. may or may not write tonight? I'm going with the flow tonight & rn the flow is telling me to keep reading#I finished my reread of the second book in the millennium series last night (& stayed up way too late in order to do so ahdgksg)#& I've started my reread of the third today and I just. I can't stop. it's too good.#if I find the willpower to put it down at some point I might dabble in poking at smth but. if not perhaps tomorrow uvu#(also want to note I've been marking the books through my reread with pink page flags#whenever smth really smacks me in the face with how much byan was inspired in some way by lisbeth lmfao)#ANYWAY. love u guys!!! I'm lurking & hoping you're all doing well!!! 💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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neverendingford · 7 months
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Therapists have two genders:
Professional Asshole and
Well-meaning Incompetent
#color says shit#text post#replying to my therapist is the most frustrating thing in the world. ma'am you think you're building rapport with me?#I hate to tell you but you've been wildly unsuccessful if that's what you think you've been doing here.#stop trying to educate me about my bullshit diagnoses that I already know about from my years on the internet.#like. babygirl I'm over here trying to build up to feeling comfortable enough to talk about the six-layer trauma cake I've got going on#and you're over here showing me a diagram consisting of two concentric circles meant to convey the idea of self versus other#you're very nice and trying to be helpful but I don't want to fucking talk about the girlfriend I want to talk about the issues that matter#girlfriend is an experiment. the other shit is stuff that lives in our fucking soul. shit that made me into the weird person fragment I am#and I had to fight for an hour. therapist kept on scheduling us for half an hour. HALF A FUCKING HOUR HALF AN HOUR ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO TALK#I had to fight for it and even when she finally scheduled us for an hour she still tried to cut it short#I had to pull up the appointment confirmation to prove I had an hour allotted. like seriously what the fuck.#one of those people who had their own mental struggles and then is like “I want to become a therapist and help other people uwu”#and then is fucking useless and projects their own issues onto someone else and shoves their personal solutions onto you#like someone in r/aita projecting their own shitty relationship onto someone else. some of us are different Daryl#ugh I'm so fucking pissed and I'm not giving up the controller until I get this shit sorted out for now.#r wanted to hop back on this morning in the shower and we had a shouting match but our deal was she takes a week break so I'm keeping it#because too much shit has built up and she's been not doing so hot so I'm gonna get this mess cleaned up before I let her back on.#I bought groceries. I did laundry. I got the car repairs done. I got our bike fixed up. I showered. I did dishes. I'm going to#and I'm going to get even more done tomorrow. maybe then I'll go back to watching over her shoulder and backseat gaming but not for a while.#it feels nice though. like I get to finally stretch my arms and yawn real good.#and btw to answer the question she's always fucking asking. she's not ace in the slightest lmao. I am and the bleed over confuses her.#there. question answered so maybe she can stop asking about it.#I feel like in her push to find herself she kinda pushed me back into the corner. which... ngl that hurts a little.#oh well. you don't need to hear about our lovers' quarrel. I'm going to bed in these cozy fresh bed sheets I just put on the bed.
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dandyshucks · 8 months
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i think it is a little bit funny (not necessarily haha funny but like a "huh. thats something." sort of funny) that the two main F/Os of mine (Guz and Julian) both have abusive parents fnfkdl like ,,, idk i guess like attracts like but ough theres something about that that makes me feel a little bit "this probably says too much about me" dbdkdkl (also the mk system,, and one could make an argument for the celestial robots too tbh with how theyre treated at the company djdksl)
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missshame · 11 months
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I hate studying I just wanna create stuff and see the world I hate how little control I have over my life
#Let's make it clear I know I'm lucky to get higher education and I'm grateful for it + knowledge can be the greatest tool#It's just that medschool is killing me and there's just too much stuff to learn and I'm struggling so badly with it that at the end of the#day it feels like I'm not learning anything and I'm completely dumb and uneducated#I'm not even a good student but it takes all my energy and even when I'm not studying I rarely have the energy to do anything#The only thing I sorta do consistently is working out because it makes my brain shut up for a while and it helps the muscle pain I got from#All the stress and sitting at my desk/working long days at the hospital#Anyway I love complaining sorry#I just feel like I had /have a very creative artsy nature and I'm really suffering from the lack of it like not in a I don't have enough#time for my hobbies and to relax#Which is already bad enough btw I don't think it should be considered normal for anyone to be too exhausted to do anything outside of work#But I really feel it in a I'm not myself anymore it's hard to move forward and build confidence and a sense of self while having a life so#far away from what you love and feel like you need + denying yourself what you desire the most can't be good to your brain let's face it#Anyway long story short first thing I'm gonna do when I finally get my degree is by me some drums learn the guitar and paint on the walls#And in the meanwhile Idk do I keep living this way? If I do will I go completely insane?#Or do gift myself the right to give up on the idea of being a slightly less bad student and do I say fuck it and start living my life now ?#Idk! Idddkkk !!!#Oh my god
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nomairuins · 1 month
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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Alright boys pack it up no more rain world posting new oni dlc is coming out in less than a week
#rat rambles#oni posting#rain posting#I jest I will probably still be posing some rain world stuff if I get around to designing more guys#but I can already feel the oni brain coming back and am half tempted to do one last comb through the files even tho I know itll be#pointless because the full dlc will be at my fingertips very soon#to be clear I 100% will be combing through the data of the full release too but thats a given#calvin my boy pls make it in pls don't get scrapped pls my boy#oh now that we're getting close Im gonna let myself talk abt this just this once but if you care abt potential spoilers stop reading#anyways so last I checked where the duplicant descriptions and stuff is stored there was an additional new duplicant named calvin#now I wasnt able to find anything else referencing him from my admittedly not super deep digging but he was there#I did thoroughly look through the spritesheets tho and hes definitely not there from what I could yell#or at least he wasnt when I checked idk maybe they put him in during one of the patches for some reason#but yeah I hope he makes it in despite all the specific advertising of them adding one new duplicant#its actually these descriptors that have been making me not wanna talk abt calvin dupe too openly as if he does make it in its probably#going to be a pretty big spoiler for a bit?#ofc if he is a secret of sorts then he wont be for long but if he is meant to be a surprise I don't wanna scream on the rooftop abt it#but I do wanna have proof that I found him before hand it he is a surprise I need to feel cool and special for looking at one file <3#yknow what I think I actually am going to pop open oni and tripple check that I'm not missing anything#I was playing rw a lot to cope with the dlc not being fully out but at this point Ive finished every campaign except saints#and saints is being a buggy bastard for me rn and keeps repeatedly softlocking me so Im giving up on it for now#like just this morning I did the entirety of the hunter campaign in like 2 hours I have so little left to do#if I do decide to replay a campaign tho it's probably going to be either gourmands or spearmasters since theyre my favorites to play as#idc what anyone says Ill always preffer the spearmasters story to rivulets I adore them both but ppl do not appreciate spearmaster enough#like every person Ive seen play it sees the ending as disappointing and I wont stand for it its high-key my favorite ending#now thats entirely because Im a moon enjoyer and a tragedy enjoyer but still I will always lose my mind over moon's final message
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