#i was joking to my friends about giving Mushroom a mushroom wife that looked like Connecticut Clark and welp

[bubba-draws]

How Shroomie met their future wife Fefe

(also jsyk the thing on Shroomie's head is a weird ass hoodie, not hair hakdhajd)

[kcrossvine-art]

Heya folks n friends! Today on our LotR cooking series, we're going to be making something inspired by Mrs. Maggot, wife of Farmer Maggot. Originally we were going to do a cream of mushroom soup, but the idea of adding meat as a cheeky lil joke on their last names was too good to pass up. In my mind meat goes better with thin soups than creamy ones.

And thus Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew was born.

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew?” YOU MIGHT ASKFor the stew portion itself we're going to be using a hearty base, aiming for a layering of flavors. If you feel comfortable making a roux, feel free to do so, but I did not due to energy levels and thus the flour in this recipe is only used for searing the meat before its added to the pot.

Cubed beef

Flour

Peanut oil

Beef stock

Dried porcini mushrooms

Carrots, chopped

Onion, diced

Garlic, crushed

Scallion, chopped

Bay leaf

Salt and pepper

Ground red pepper

Cumin

Zatarins gumbo file

For the other mushrooms, were going to cook them separate and throw them in at the end (but they'll have friends to keep them company!!).

Cremini mushrooms, sliced

Half an onion

Carrots

Garlic

Salt and pepper

Thyme

Olive oil

This took about 4 hours in total. If you have a slow cooker itd probably be easier to use that, but as is isn't too bad either. I mostly worked on commission stuff in the kitchen in-between stirring. "The best food is the one you don't have to make, the second best food is the one you don't have to think while making."

AND, “what does Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

HOT HOT HOT

Tastes like walking from the cold into the cramped but cozy bar your friend works at

Meat was so tender and juicy, melts in your mouth. Makes you cry

It wanst actually carmelization but the onions had a hint of tasting caramelized

Mushrooms- a strong umami flavor with a bit of smokeyness

Once you get that Perfect level of gumbo file, it just makes every other element stick out more

Like an energy booster for the ingredients

A spotlight on the bay leaf, and oils, and spices

. If you don't want to use beef, feel free to use vegetable stock instead and replace the cubes with strips of king oyster mushrooms. Exclude the flour but still cook them in the pan. . this isnt officially part of the recipe since im not sure itd be 'on theme', but feel free to start your rice cooker around the 3 hour mark so you can have some hot rice ready for serving as filler.

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When I was looking through food and food mentions in LotR, Mrs.Maggot just stook out to me. 'Queen amongst farmers wives' is both really sweet and a fuckin killer description. What a legend. I wanted to do something based on her and our two options were either beer, bacon or raw mushrooms. Beer while very appealing is also not something you can whip up in a day, while raw mushrooms have a chance of killing my beloved readers. I don't want to talk about me and bacons sordid past.

And so as praise to this funky farmer women, may you add this stew to your collection of potpie, lasagna, and roast recipes.

Did i mention i started my first grease fire when making this? Yeah. Don't cover any empty greased pan even if your intent is to keep water from splashing into it.

Anyway, this recipe is a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) The partner has already made me pledge to cook it again hehehe

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 lbs cubed beef

A little bit of flour to 'tumble' the meat in, in a bowl

Peanut oil to sear the beef, as needed

3 kilograms beef stock

28g dried porcini mushrooms

4 carrots, chopped

1 white onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, crushed

1 scallion branch, chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Ground red pepper to taste

Cumin to taste

3 bay leafs

A pinch of Zatarins gumbo file

Ingredients… . . TWO:

1 lb cremini mushrooms

Half of a white onion, diced

1 carrot, chopped

2 cloves garlic, crushed

Salt, pepper, and thyme to taste

Olive oil as needed to pan-fry

Method:

Put the porcini mushrooms into a bowl, add enough warm water to cover. Give them roughly 20 minutes, or until softened and the waters turned color.

Cut the carrots, onion, and garlic.

Get a large pot with a lid, pour in your stock (or water and bouillon cubes). Pour in the porcinis and the mushroom water. Turn the burner to medium-high.

Add your bay leaves, carrots, onion, and garlic to the pot. Add extra salt if you'd like.

Tenderize and cut your beef into roughly 1 inch cubes.

In a small bowl, pour a handful of flour along with pepper, cumin, and ground red pepper. Mix until combined.

Lightly toss each cube of beef in the mixture, get a little coverage on each side.

Heat a frying pan to medium heat and add peanut oil. If using an electric stovetop it will take time to heat up.

Add some of your beef cubes to the pan, don't overcrowd it. Flip to check sides are a light brown with dark brown edges, its good for some pink/red to poke through.

Add beef cubes to the pot when done, careful of splashing.

Keep doing this in batches until all beef cubes are added. 

 Once the pot has reached a simmer, turn the heat down a few notches and cover.

Set a timer for 4 hours. Taste test every so often. Aim to stir the pot every 10-15 minutes.

(You can do steps 14-21 immediately or optionally wait a bit)

 Rinse and dry your cremini mushrooms.

Slice them vertically. Cut the carrots, onion, and garlic.

In a frying pan on medium-low heat, add olive oil, carrots, and onion. Keep the vegetables moving! When they start to change texture, add your cremini mushrooms.

Bring the pan up to medium heat. 

Once your mushrooms have cooked off the liquid inside, theyll start turning a deeper brown. Add the garlic. Keep! the! vegetables! Moving!

If the pan gets overcrowded, take some out and set it aside in a bowl. Smaller batches.

This process took roughly 15 minutes, but youll know its done once everything has a nice sear on it and the garlic is brown but not burnt. Add salt, pepper, and thyme to taste.

Set everything aside in a bowl.

Once the 4 hours are up the meat should be cooked all the way through and tender enough to pull apart. Strain the bay leaves out. Cut and add scallions. Add the bowl with cremini mushrooms.

Add a pinch of gumbo file to start, stir and taste test.

[raphmybeloved]

Mama

This is a little fic I made for @idiot-mushroom 's Teenage Turtle Ninja Mutants iteration. This is not canon to that iteration but I was just thinking a lot about shitty parents who suck at boundaries and the combination of oldest daughter syndrome and this was born.

TW there is no actual incest but Splinter makes an incredibly poor taste joke along those lines that's uncomfy to read

Raph doesn’t know when her brothers first start calling her mama. They mostly use it to tease her or complain that he’s a mother henning them. She thinks there may have been a time where it annoyed her but these days he likes it. 

As far as nicknames go it’s pretty solid and better than the normal dipshit and dickface that they tend to call each other. 

It doesn’t bother her. Until it does.

At first none of them put any thought into Leo entering the kitchen with a “hey mama what’s cooking?” It’s practically a guaranteed reaction from Leo when he sees Raph wearing an apron. It's normal.

They aren’t thinking about the fact that Splinter is in the room.

“Mama?” Splinters asks and Raph watches her siblings all freeze. This could go bad. Splinter's parenting is one of those things he’s sensitive about and there's always a chance he’ll have a reaction even to something as small as a nickname.

Splinter laughs and Raph knows it should be her cue to relax like her brothers are doing but she just can’t. She just has a feeling of dread that keeps her shoulders tense.

“Oh Mama, that is hilarious. Raphael is such a good mama after all. Always taking care of cooking and cleaning! It’s like he is my little wife ha!” 

Raph watches her brothers relieved awkward smiles transform into uncomfortable grimaces. He has no idea what his own face looks like or even how to fix it to an appropriate expression. Splinter seems to be immune to the clear discomfort that is drowning the rest of them as he continues laughing.

“Alright ‘mama’ I am going out,” Splinter says, patting Raph on the back before heading to the door. “Make sure to put the kids in bed.” 

The silence after he closes the door is suffocating until it isn’t. His brother’s are talking but Raph doesn’t really know what they are saying. Everything is a little too fuzzy to understand and it's hard for Raph to fully comprehend anything except this feeling of wrongness..

She feels weird. She feels gross. He can’t even quite pinpoint why but the feeling just consumes her. Eventually he must have shaken it off even if he can’t remember doing so because suddenly he’s in bed and everyones eaten and the lights are out.

She has no choice but to try to fall asleep and ignore the phantom feeling of bugs crawling all over her.

Like a lot of things they don’t talk about it. Her brother’s stop calling him mama as much and she tries to ignore the feeling of wanting to vomit whenever splinter says it.

She would have probably continued to never talk about it if it wasn’t for Casey Jones.

It's a fire escape night. A routine for just Raph and Casey to look out at the city, eat snacks, and shoot the shit. No siblings, no responsibilities, just a flimsy little platform that could give out any moment and two teens who don’t care. 

“So is something up?” Casey asks. The snack of the night is sunflower seeds and Casey seems determined to get as many shells into a flower pot on a balcony across the alley between apartment buildings and is mostly failing at his goal.

“What do ya mean?” Raph asks. She wishes she could join Casey in his quest but he eats her sunflower shells whole in a way that horrifies her friends and family and therefore has nothing to throw. Instead she picks at her nail beds.

“You’ve been weird, Mikey called you mama and you flinched. You’ve never done that before.” Casey says and not for the first time Raph is reminded that Casey is far more observant than he lets on.

“It’s nothin,” Raph mutters. 

“C’mon you know I don’t believe that.” Casey stops his sunflower seed mission and turns to look at her. There's something about the look Casey is giving him that Raph actually wants to tell him. 

“Splinter caught on to them calling me ‘mama’ and now he's started doing it,” Raph tries to keep her voice even as she stares out into the city but she can feel the bitterness sink in. “Pretty sure he can tell I don’t like it but he won’t stop.”

There's a moment of quiet before Casey lets out a hiss of air from his teeth.

“That sucks.” There's another moment before Casey lets out a small laugh.

“What’s so funny asshole?” Raph says glaring at the boy who is unfortunately her best friend

“Your dad is such an ass that he accidentally validated your gender. I mean obviously he’s being a dick but it’s just kind of funny that he is doing it in a way that uses feminine terms after trying to ignore your whole deal for so long.” Casey snorts, “What a fucking idiot.”

Raph looks at Casey. In a way he’s right. Splinter has brushed off any attempt Raph made to come out and now he’s using a feminine term. Sure it’s in a shitty way. At best it’s a crappy consolation prize and it doesn’t fix the weird gross feeling but-

Casey is trying. Raph shared an actual feeling and Casey isn’t mocking isn’t ignoring he’s trying to make her feel better. It’s.. nice. It helps Raph push away that gross feeling Splinter brings.

“Yeah,” she says. “What an idiot.” 

Things aren’t really better. Splinter is still an ass and Raph is still stuck in a situation where he just has to deal with it but when Casey smiles at him it's not hard to smile back.  

She at least has that.

[pixeldistractions]

Ten minutes later—okay, maybe closer to fifteen—Maria returned downstairs in pajamas with a towel on her head, a flush in her cheeks, and she hoped not too obvious a tremble in her knees.

Johanna grinned with an animal cracker in her mouth. “Mama’s all squeaky clean!”

Lou said, with an eyebrow raised, “Yeah, your mama was a very dirty girl.”

They made polite conversation about Lou’s legal work while Johanna finished her crackers, then she left the table to play with her dolls.

“So he’s still calling?” Lou asked.

“You thought he wouldn’t?”

Lou laughed. “Do you want me to be honest?”

“He was just out of cell range for a while. See, here.” Maria pulled up some pictures he sent of where he camped in the northern Cascades. It looked so beautiful and wild. Maria kept thinking about this one photo he took from a summit, an expanse of pine forest for as far as the eye could see, and she never imagined anywhere could be so uninhabited. It seemed scary, to be honest. He was so brave.

But Lou was more of a city girl, and she didn’t appreciate the appeal. She smirked. “Nice rocks, they look very mountainous.”

“You think he’s a bad influence on me?”

“He’s definitely some kind of influence,” Lou said. “It’s just, so, he ran off to follow his dreams? What about your dreams? Don’t just sit around pining for him.”

“I’m not pining, this is just my face.” Maria shrugged. “My dreams? I don’t know, should I start knitting? Scarves can’t be that hard, they’re just like rectangles, right? I’ll open an Etsy shop. Do you like that dream for me?”

“God, that would be a very sad shop.”

Maria never considered what her dreams were supposed to be. She thought she had that figured out once. She married a military man, and she was going to be a wife and mother. She’d already decided to give up her music. When that didn’t pan out, next she dreamed of Jordan, her elusive and charming friend, her sweetheart, but that didn’t pan out like she thought, either. Now what?

She pined for Jordan, yes, but she also pined for his bravery, that he was trying to know himself so deeply, that he actually went out and did it. She was proud of him. She was inspired by him.

“Well, whatever you do,” Lou said, “don’t throw away your whole life to follow this one, too.”

“I was supposed to be a military wife,” Maria said. “Maybe following a man around is the one thing I’m actually built to do.”

Lou sighed and shook her head. “But look at how that turned out for you.”

Lou never really loved Joseph much, either, or the idea of her sister ditching her orchestral aspirations to get married and then soon widowed at the tender age of twenty-two. It was an old wound at this point, but still, an actual husband dead wasn’t something to joke about. The thing was, Maria was pretty sure her sister wasn’t joking.

“Rude, Lou,” Maria said. “You’re just a mean old lesbian who hates men.”

Lou chuckled. “I am a mean old lesbian, but I don’t hate men. I love Leo.”

“That doesn’t count, he’s your brother.”

“And he’s not much of a man,” Lou said.

They both had a little giggle at their brother’s expense. “Okay, this calls for a girls’ night,” Lou announced. “Let me know what nights you have off. We’ll do it at my place so JoJo can crash. Not too many people—Jaime, Jessica, Laney, some girls from work. We’ll get smashed and watch dumb horror movies and play cards.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll let you know,” Maria said. Then she called out to Johanna, “Bedtime, little monkey. Come say goodnight.”

Johanna gave her aunt a hug and ran upstairs to wait for her bedtime stories, which meant playing with every toy in her bedroom and leaving them all sprawled across the floor before her mother got there to read.

“You’re going to show me more pictures, aren’t you?”

“Just a couple more,” Maria said.

“Okay, go on then.”

Maria scrolled through a few more of Jordan’s photos. A selfie on the edge of a cliff. A fish he caught. “There was only one fish, he’s very bad at fishing.” A stew he made from mushrooms he foraged. Several shots of campfires. The murky mountain lake where he swam. “And he got a leech on his ankle. Oh my god, I would have actually died!”

“How many pictures did he send you?”

“I don’t know, like a hundred or something,” Maria said. “Oh, and he got another tattoo. It’s hot, right? Well, you probably don’t think it’s hot. But trust me, it’s hot.”

“You’re a complete lost cause, you know that?”

Maria grinned. “Goodnight.”

— from “boxes and squares #3: what dreams?” (8/8)

story notes:

So we only just met Lou properly, even though she’s been mentioned several times as “Maria’s sister” in the stories. She doesn’t have a profile page made yet on the blog (although there was that short OC bio), so I’ll fill in just a few gaps about her. She’s a logic type, a lawyer, she’s opinionated, independent, and no, she doesn’t have much fondness for many men she meets, except her baby brother. She cares about her family, and she does look out for her siblings in her ways. But besides that, she is rather detached and a little cold. Not mean, exactly, but definitely blunt. I don’t think that’s because of any trauma or anything, it’s just who she is and how she prefers to operate. Sometimes that bluntness hits Maria a little hard, because Maria is much softer. But I think there’s a lot of genuine caring there. I’m very much looking forward to exploring their sisterly relationship as we go forward.  

Next ->

[bedoballoons]

What medieval/royalty roles would you give to your anons?

Oooo good question! (Also not sure if these are all the same person, but the Christmas present version of this I am in fact saving for December <3)

Im also gonna add a bit of fantasy in here too!

Fairy anon: Starting right off the bat with fairy anon being a fairy of course! It's not only fitting name wise but she just truly has the perfect vibes for it!

Mushroom anon: They would definitely be a mushroom person, a adorable very small (and I mean mushrooms are bigger than them kinda small) person with a cute little mushroom hat and a sketchbook to write/draw about the mushrooms they grow!

Sleepy anon: Sleepy anon would be a royal guard! Might snooze off a little here and there but the second there's any trouble they are right there to help save everyone! They also like to sneak away when they have a break to sketch fish in the river!

Starstruck anon: A astrologist! They are searching the stars for answers and figuring out the things that make the world go around. Commissioned by royalty often to see out prophecies, although they themselves look to find love!

Bananon: I feel like bananon would be a sweet maiden, they find life hard sometimes but also see beauty where others don't. They wish to find someone who understands their point of view, romantic or simply friends! Definitely talks to animals too!

Donut cat: A black cat who actually brings luck to others! (Random I know but hear me out) They constantly appear when others need a laugh, causing a fun ruckus or just finding ways to make people smile! Good friends with the maiden too <3

Princess: Clearly a princess! But truthfully a kind ruler, wants the best for her people and has alot she wants to say as well. She likes to have fun and flirt alittle with her royal guard 😉 A magical person all around though!

Fox anon: A traveling adventurer! They appear every so often with gifts and stories to share! They are always mentioning the wonderful people they met on their journeys and always make the people who listen wish to adventure too!

Ramen anon: The royal chef, doesn't always know exactly what he's doing but he tries. He loves his beautiful wife and spoils her the best he can with the royal spoils he receives as payment. Hopes one day to learn the most delicious recipes so he can get more payment and buy his wife the perfect home to live in.

Pancake anon: The royal jester! Full of jokes and super funny, but when royalty isn't looking they are just adorable! They give treats to little kids and also attempt to make everyone laugh! Sweet and funny!

(Goodness I hope I remembered everyone this time 😭)

Also...isn't this technically writing headcanons about my anons...

[blam-marie]

It's Nothing Personal - 4

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Ghost dropped casually in the chair, swiped Tristan’s coffee cup from right in front of him, and took a sip. He hoped that the other man would make a face at the triple espresso that had long gone cold, but of course he didn’t. Nothing ever really bothered him, and no expressions touched his features that he hadn’t put there himself.

The scar was nowhere to be seen today, likely concealed by a heavy layer of makeup. His chin-length hair, which Tristan was used to seeing well-brushed and slicked back, had been fluffed in a way that made him seem boyish and charming, as well as about ten years younger. He had earrings dangling from his pointed ears, but they didn’t look terribly expensive. Similarly, his sports jacket was nice, but worn at the seams. He had unbuttoned both said jacket as well as the first few buttons of his shirt, going for an air of casual dishevelment that was entirely at odd with what Tristan knew of the man’s actual personality. It looked good on him, though.

He put the cup back down, wiped his mouth delicately with a napkin, then lounged backwards in the seat.

“Your partner’s been delayed,” was his opening salvo.

Tristan blinked. He had thought that they would dance around the subject a bit longer, but clearly Ghost was in a rush. So, the plan was not to make him miss the departure of the cruise. He’d already guessed as much, but it was nice to have confirmation.

“What have you done to him?”

Ghost raised a fine eyebrow and almost looked insulted.

“Me? Nothing. Airport security, on the other hand…”

Tristan was unimpressed. “You slipped something into his bag? What is this, sabotage 101?”

“He got caught with it,” he pointed out.

Tristan shook his head. “Point taken.”

Damn it, Reed. What was he doing, falling for the most basic trick in the book and making them all look bad?! And knowing Ghost, it must have been some truly nasty shit, too. Undeclared bags of soil samples, expensive mushrooms, a pet moss ball, or a novelty magical fishing lure; the sort of thing nobody were aware they weren’t supposed to carry across country lines until they had several governmental agencies yelling at them about it. Airport security was no joke, but give Tristan a loaded handgun in his bag to explain away any day, rather than having to face the International Agriculture Oversight Committee after having tried to bring an orange as a snack for a trip oversea, when that orange had potentially been exposed to a deadly roots-melting bacteria that was common and harmless in his home country but could ravage entire landscapes if allowed to escape somewhere with a different climate. He’d have better chances of surviving close combat with Special Agent Mark.

In all likelihood, Reed would be stuck explaining himself to local authorities for hours, and might even have to be bailed out or pay a substantial fine, depending on what exactly it was that Ghost had put in his bag. If they had been on their home turf, he could have simply pulled rank and skipped the security check altogether. But the cruise was departing from a sovereign polity who had only just clawed their democracy from the claws of a rigged election that could have plunged them back into ten more years of dictatorship, so having one of their spies get caught sneaking into the country would just not be a great idea for Tristan’s agency right now. Or worse, getting caught sneaking aboard a cruise ship where the brother of the new president was taking his wife for a well-deserved and suspiciously-timed vacation along with all of their friends.

Tristan sighed. “What do you want?”

Ghost shrugged one shoulder. “Same as you, I imagine. Intel.”

“Right. So you and…” he waved a hand. “Whatever partner you’ve got are going on this little trip too, and you figured that I’d recognize you as soon as I got on board, so you decided to come and say hi out of what, courtesy?”

The other agent’s lips quirked with amusement.

“Not quite. Its a very exclusive cruise, as I’m sure you know,” he said. “All the tickets sold months ago, mostly by word of mouth. It would be suspicious if four entire passengers dropped out at the last minute and were replaced by wait-listed strangers no one knows, as opposed to just two.”

An uncomfortable rock dropped in the pit of Tristan’s stomach.

“We are not boarding together.”

“Why not? Our missions are the same, or close enough. We have no reason to get in each other’s way. Might as well collaborate.” Tristan had no idea if his side would want to keep the information he was about to gather out of anyone else’s hands, because he had no idea what that information even was. But he had caved to Ghost’s ‘we should collaborate’ logic once before, and it had been nothing but a mistake. One that he wasn’t really eager to make again, even if his entire body sung at his proximity with the other man. Or perhaps exactly because of that. Ghost took another casual sip of the cold coffee and Tristan tried not to look at his hands. Or at the quick flip of tongue that came out to wet his lips.

He tried to make his voice firm. “I am not pretending to be a couple with you.”

“Why not?”

“You know why.”

He could still vividly remember the rush of kissing him — as well as the flash of the gunshot and his voice, cool and steady in his ear: Don’t be upset. It’s not personal, it’s work. Yeah, no. There was a reason his ‘do not get involved with other agents’ rule was in place. Ghost turned to gaze thoughtfully out of the café window.

“So you intend to board as a newlywed on his honeymoon… alone? Or are you just going to not board at all?”

Tristan groaned and shoved his phone into his jacket pocket. He shouldered his bag. “I need to make a call.”

“Is there time?”

He looked at his watch again. “Fuck!”

Ghost chuckled. “Relax,” he said, standing up and grabbing the handle of his suitcase. “It’ll be fun.”

[pastelskyesblog]

Thoughts on the parents of Coral Island: Dad edition

So... I think it's still too early to say considering everyone's stories and dialogues aren't complete yet but here's my thoughts on the parents of Coral Island so far

Jim

what do you mean Lily's job is not a real job?

being rather cold at first aside, he's a pretty cool dude

have you seen his younger pic drawn by the og artist? holy shit he was so hot

major tsundere vibes. like seriously we started off with him saying I look like I've never used a tool in my entire life before (he's right) to him teaching me how to make his specialty- smoked salmon

he's one of the non-dateables in the island that I have most hearts with

probably the kind of father your classmates look forward to seeing during parent-teacher conferences because he's good looking (along with his wife, she's good looking too)

you inherited your abundant knowledge in fishing and fishes overall thanks to him, even thought you don't fish often

Sunny

I LOVE HIM

his personality totes match his name

second highest hearts with him, only because Jim loves shiitake mushrooms and wasabi and those are abundant in spring.

he reminds me a lot of my grandpa so i love him x100000000

i give him a flower everytime i see him

much like Jim, thanks to him you know a lot about fishes and fishing in general.

Jack

another cool parent, he gave me phat thai and then a lemon to make phat thai

another parent your classmates look forward to seeing during parent-teacher conferences

probably a cinnamon roll

the kind of dad whom you'd spend your weekend mornings together with the animals, telling each other about your week.

feels like a friend more than a father

Randy

TBH i don't know him enough but I have a lot of hearts with him because I see him often so I just gift him a flower like I do with everyone else (i should really chill and take it slow and talk to people smh)

probably the fun dad that you can easily open up to

definitely the kind of dad that can help you with your homework

the kind of parent every your friends look forward to seeing whenever they hang out in your house

Paul

another cinnamon roll

another dad that can help you with your homework

takes you on his adventures whenever you're not in school

lots of great memories together

always excited to tell your classmates about what he does for work

thanks to him you know a lot of animal trivia

i feel like out of all the dads, along with Randy, he'd tell the most number of dad jokes- and they're actually funny

Antonio

another dad I don't know shit about, but considering he takes days off to spend time with Valentina, he's definitely a good dad

the kind who'd take his kid's drawings to work to show his colleagues

I feel like he's also the type who'd support whatever occupation you want to pursue, as long as he sees you putting in effort and results are showing

probably lowkey strict, but you'll be thankful once you're older that he is (with a bit of pettiness cuz you missed out on some of the fun stuff your other friends went through)

you have cool and pretty outfits thanks to him HEHE

Walter

typical old money dad, what more can i say

knowing how to deal with money is something that's become second nature to you, thanks to him

brings you out to play golf with his associates

brings you out to play tennis with his associates

good luck if you're the only kid, the family business is definitely going to be managed by you

Joko

another super fun dad

cracks a lot funny jokes, not just dad jokes

his storytelling is god-tier, probably the reason why dinner is at least 2 hours long

known as the funniest dads of dads among you and your classmates

Wataru

another dude i have a lot of hearts with but don't know much about because his dialogue is so little

the kind that takes care of you silently (and you're super grateful for it)

quiet type of dad, but probably very observant regarding your needs (hence probably why Wakuu is the way he is towards him)

dinner is often quiet, but once it's time for dessert that's when the tea starts to spill (but you're doing most of the talking)

he's definitely the coolest, he owns a friggin chickin boat

[akaashisupremacy]

Yes, Always

Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. As you and Gojo try to pick up the pieces, what does love look like?

Gojo Satoru  x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: Mostly fluff, lil bit of domestic angst, exes to friends to lovers (wc: 1.8k)

“How on earth are you still bed when the sun is setting? Gojo Satoru dramatically bursts into your apartment. The door flings open and you’re sure the knob dented the wall. 

You don’t even blink. His theatrics rarely faze you anymore. You shift on your bed to face the wall. 

You don’t have energy for this. 

Gojo knows you since your childhood. You hadn’t always been so easy to tire. But Jujutsu work was a lot. It accumulated fatigue that  drained you physically and emotionally ever so often. 

“You cancelled on Ieri, I knew something was up and I was right!” he placed his hands on his hips. He walks over to you.

You yawn and ignore him. 

Gojo opens a window and pulls out your covers in response. 

“Hey!” you yelp. 

“You go shower while I make you something to eat.” he commands. 

You continue to ignore him. 

He tries to haul you off the bed and into the tub. 

You finally sit up, crossed beyond words. He kneels down so he can look up to you.

“You need a warm shower. It will help you feel better, I promise.” he says firmly, “Get yourself some fresh clothes. I’ll run you a bath.” His tone is is a mix of stern and gentle in away you don’t hear often. 

You grudgingly get up and do as he says. 

You drag yourself off the bed and into the bathroom. As you body soak in the hot water, the fatigue peel off and you feel re energised. You look up at the steam that floats around you. 

Your reverie is interrupted by the kitchen noises.

Why was he doing this? You thought to yourself. This wasn’t like him to cross the boundaries of your home and to check up on you. Sure you were dating, but coming over was way too cozy for Gojo who only ever dated casually. 

You walk out in new clothes, hair still dripping wet. 

Gojo had set up a pot over a portable stove on your dinner table with some food already boiling away. The smell of dinner on the way was already wafting in the air. 

“Thanks for doing this.” You murmur, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face into his chest. 

Gojo resists the urge to pull away or look extremely nonchalant. He’a never been good with commitment or sincere expressions pf affection. 

“The water was nice.” you added. 

He carefully plants his hand your nape and press your forehead on his lips. You body is still warm from the shower. It still shocks him how close he can hold you. 

“If you like the water so much we can go swimming in the summer.” he nods, “I’ve always wanted to go to Okinawa and go diving or snorkeling.”

You briefly pull away, “If we’re still seeing each other.”

He hesitates, “We will.” 

“How do you know we’ll last till then?” 

“I just do.” he pushes. 

“Sure,” you take tour arms off him.

Gojo is not good at commitment. It is hard for him to sustain his interest in any one person, which you’ve accepted when you began dating him. Your set-up isn’t even exclusive. Why was he kidding himself? 

Now that you’ve detached yourself from him. He heads back to the kitchen counter. 

“Because this is the hardest I’ve tried.” he replies softly, “I’m concerned about you you think and how I make you feel. I don’t think I can take the weight of disappointment if things spiral a second time.”

You look at him as he prepares so vegetables. Gojo was your technically your ex-fiancee. You thought the break-up freed him. Maybe you weren’t completely right. 

This is your second shot of your relationship. Why are you surprised that he’s trying so hard? Why is it difficult for you to believe in his sincerity? 

“Okinawa sounds nice, I want some oysters.” you reply, taking out some bowls and chopsticks. 

“I want to see you in a bikini.” He smirks. 

You instinctively throw a towel at him. He dodges with a grin. 

As the meatballs begin to cook, you both take a seat. Gojo recalls his conversation with his student earlier today. 

“Yuuji,” Gojo called out as he enters the kitchen, “I need you to teach me how to make meatballs. I’m bringing them over for a friend.” 

Itadori Yuuji is busy cutting up some mushrooms. Must be hotpot night again for the students. 

“Here take this, this is ready made.” he pulls out a container of meatballs from the fridge.

“Aren’t you going to teach me how o make it?” Gojo asks his student, slightly perplexed.

“You look like you’re in a rush. I can teach you another time,” Iatdori smiles congenially and waves his hand. He causally takes the meat and scallions from Gojo’s bag and begin prepping them for his meal. 

“Is this for you ex-wife?” he causally asks his teacher. 

Gojo snorts, “Ex-fiancee. Yeah that one, they’re not feeling well today. I’m going to drop off something to eat.”

“I think it’s kind of nice you’re a second try.” Yuuji grins good naturedly. 

“The first time wasn’t really a try. Our engagement was arranged.” Gojo packs some other things onto a bag, “Our marriage would have ended in flames if we had pushed through.”

“Yeah, but even if you had married, I think it would eventually work out. It might take years but you clearly do get along and you’re attracted to each other. You’re both willing to put in the work.” Yuuji reasons. 

“Just people try doesn’t mean they always succeed.” Gojo mutters. Yuuji is the eternal optimist. 

“Its not gonna work any better if you don try at all. Relationships aren’t a one time task.” 

“Why can’t you just teach me? It’ll take just a little bit of time.” Gojo asks again. He slings the bag over his shoulder, ready to head out. 

“But a little bit of time is still worth something. More time together is always good.” Yuuji nods. 

“Just take it sensei,” Itadori said before he left the school, “Make the most out of today.” 

——————————————————————

After dinner, you yawn. Gojo goes over your side and sweeps you off your chair. Your legs are dangling awkwardly over his arms. This feels so new yet strangely comfortable.

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

He looks into your eyes, framed by your lashes. Warmth has returned to your cheeks. Your face is brighter than when he first came. 

You lace your arms around his neck. 

Gojo has never been to your house on a personal visit before. He doesn’t know how to feel in this new kind of intimacy—an intimacy outside of sex. It is intensely emotional for him to see you at your lowest, at home, without the trappings of your jujutsu powers or even you work coat. 

Who were you outside your jujutsu sorcerer? Who were the two of you outside of your jujutsu connections? 

“Put me down, I want to stand.” you quietly request. He relents. 

When Gojo gets up to do the dishes, you follow. You’re standing side by side, elbows bumping as a creeping sense of domesticity inches up his spine. 

Gojo prefers to eat out. Cleaning up after dinner was like breakfast after sex—too much commitment. 

“If this is freaking you out, we can stop.” You mumble, quickly reading through him “I can do the dishes and you can just go.”

He’s surprised by the exit you create for him, but he buckles down.

“I’m not running away from anything tonight.” he says. He’s shirking from extra time, not from his feelings and definitely not from you. 

He fills his ears with the sound of clanking dishes and your slow and steady breath. His time today was your anyways. Why would he take it back? Domesticity is unfamiliar, but he so badly wants to give it a shot. 

After all the dishes are put aside, you wipe his hands dry with the kitchen towel. His heart is racing, his palms sweaty. He thinks about cracking a joke to hide his tension, but decides otherwise. 

You eyes look steadily at him, as if testing him to see if he will sat or go. He takes the towel and gently dries off your hands, careful to get in between your fingers and to be gentle around your wrists. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” he remarks, “even if you don’t believe me.”

“I’m really trying.” he adds. 

“I believe you.” you nod. Some of the tension and discomfort in his face fades. 

You walk towards your room, “I’m going to bed. I’m tired.”

He scurries behind you, turning off the lights as he goes “Can I lie down beside you?”

You’re taken by surprise but you don’t let it show. 

“Sure.”

Gojo mostly lies on top of the sheets and he watches you tuck yourself in. You look so young like this — pajamas, no make up, no work clothes. 

You were arranged to be married by 20 and you look just that age. He notices you staring back at him, inspecting him in this new angle you’re both experiencing for the first time. 

“Did you ever think about what our first night would be like?” you ask candidly.  

He rolls onto his back and stares into the ceiling, “It would probably be awkward. I’ve thought about taking a sleeping pill to knock myself out. What about you?”

“Just the usual stuff.” you shrug. 

“What usual stuff?” he prods. 

You make a face and reply, “I guess I expected you’ll about some of my habits that I’m embarrassed about eventually.”

“It’s not the sex?” he asks surprised. 

You laugh and shake your head. When you were younger you were curious about it, but once you learned what it was it didn’t seem as interesting to you. 

“No, I thought the sex would just make me sad. Judging by the way things were going then, you’d be thinking of someone else while I give myself to you.” you turn away from him as you talk, sheepish to voice your hurt out loud and look at him in the eye at the same time, “You’d make me feel small, like my family did. For most of my life, my only value was to be married to you and I couldn’t even feel good in it.”

Your words heave silence into the room. You don’t know what expression he has on. 

“Man, I sound like horrible husband.” he murmurs. 

You slowly turn back to him. 

“But that was what would have happened if we had married at 20. That’s not us anymore.” you shake your head. 

Your faces so close your noses touched. 

“What are you doing?” he half-asks. 

You press your face to his shoulder. He pulls away a bit to get under the sheets. He wraps an arm around you and uses his other arm to turn off the lights. 

“Can I stay tonight?” he breathes in your smell even though he already knows the answer. You feel so impossibly soft against him, he feels the lull of sleep approaching. 

“Yes,” you barely whisper, “always.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. Check out the other parts!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

Comment or message to be added to the taglist! Or write down some comments about your feelsssss

Series Taglist: @tokyo-love-hotel @samkysnks@herownescape@cherrianne192@shamelessdonutsludgebanana@kageyamakock@shirostrbl@luvang3l @cloudsinthecosmos@httpjungoo @saturnki  @itstheee-ha-chan @gucci-froggy @soy1melk @dora-the-grownup@cherryonigiri

If you’d like to continue being part of my taglist (JJK or Haikyuu), please let me know! I also write oneshots for both fandoms and soon I’ll be doing BSD too!

[amara-scott]

Enjoy your dinner.

Movie: The Gentlemen Characters: Raymond Smith x Reader Categories: Teasing

you’re reading part one | part two

Takes place a few weeks before the movie timeline.

...

3rd Person P.O.V.:

Her father knew very well that she did not enjoy these kinds of events. Richlings bragging about their richness to other fat cats. Not to mention the young ones. The ones her age, who did not have to flip a coin to get any of the wealth their parents owned. Dirty or good money, does not matter. It is more dirty than anything else though. And she knew that also. Another reason for her to usually not stay longer than needed.

It has been a while since her father has last asked her to join him and her mother to a dinner party. It was way more just a synonym for let’s see who will embarrass themselves first by drinking too much of the way too expensive bottle of rum. Long translation - but a hundred percent correct. 

And even though she loathed going, she always used the opportunity to make the largest impact possible without trying to say a word. She loved the longing stares and the surprised ones every time she did indeed attend alongside her parents. Today it was just her father though. Her mother was out in Paris, probably spending all the pocket money her loving husband gave her. At least their love for each other seemed honest.

(Y/N) P.O.V.:

When I walk down the stairs to stop in front of a mirror in my hallway, I hear another honk of the limousine waiting outside. I sigh, grabbing a light coat and throwing that over my arm, holding a small clutch in my hand. After locking the door behind me, I greet Mitch with a smile.

“ ’Ello Miss (Y/L/N), hope you are doing well today.” I hold back a roll of my eyes, long forgotten how many times I made him call me by my first name. If I had to guess, probably around 64 times. He doesn’t work for me, he works for my father and my father alone. 

“Very well indeed, how about you, Mitch?” He smiles, about to answer, when a voice from inside the car calls out.

“-You can chat on the way there, we’re late as it is.” Now I do roll my eyes at my fathers words and send Mitch another small smile. He nods, closing the door when I’m in, going back to the drivers seat.

“Wow, darlin’, you look lovely tonight.” I greet him with a kiss to each cheek and buckle up.

“Thank you, is that a new suit? I’ve never seen you wear burgundy red.” He nods, smoothing out the fabric. 

“It is, it is. You’re a smart one. I despised the colour but your mother thinks it looks expensive and high-class. And you know her- there’s no telling her no.” I chuckle along and we get a few small-talk questions out the way before we finally arrive at the mansion. Some old business partner of my father’s. I can’t keep names in mind so I usually go the shy and long time no see route. It usually works.

My father helps me step outside and Mitch rides off, picking us up later again. Before walking after my father I take a deep breath and exhale, placing a smile onto my face. Fake- but no one seemed to notice the last few times. So no worries there. Walking up the stairs, an arm wraps around mine and I glance up to my right, frowning at the sudden physical contact. James. Yes, the one person I loathed the least. Or you could say - who I actually liked a bit. I grin and bump my shoulder with his as he guides me up to the entrance.

“Hello there gorgeous lady, haven’t seen you around a lot lately.” 

“Well, can you blame me? These types of gatherings do not amuse me much. They rather support my boredom and make me want to drown in expensive alcohol. I don’t want to turn into an alcoholic.” He smirks at my statement but shakes his head. 

“You’re a special one, you know that?” I nod, sighing dramatically. I look up front, where my father is already involved with other suit-wearing snobs.

“I know- I am.” I try sounding posh, but fail miserably, making us both laugh. I still have my arm wrapped around his’ as we get offered a drink and then he is off. Talking business, making connections. A life I would not want to live. That is why James and me could never be more than friends. Even though he might wants change my mind on that one day - I would never accept his advances.

“Well, well, well. If it is not little Miss (Y/L/N) Junior. How are things going?” I turn, taking another sip of champagne as I recognise the slimy man in front of me. His eyes wandering up and down my presence. 

“Oscar- what a nice surprise-” My fake smile widens and I let him kiss my knuckles briefly - even though some of the potatoes I had for lunch earlier wanted to revisit. He must be double my age - I never thought of that. 50 at least.

“Would not be that much of a surprise to you if you would join our parties more often.” So it is his housing we are inside of right now. Good to know...

“Oh, Oscar. You know I am a busy woman. Cannot have fun all the time.” My smile starts to hurt my cheeks but I keep it up. Having held it for longer. My record is 24 minutes and 37 seconds. Yes, I know. Very impressive.

“But you never fail to make a grand entrance, what a gown on you - just lovely. Perfectly fitting for you, an extraordinary woman.” His sickly, slimy words feel like nails scratching on a chalk board but I hold back a flinch, nodding once. Not quite sure how to reply. I glance down at my drink, assumingly and very unconsciously having drank it all.

“Oh, would you look at that- I think I need a refill, it was lovely chatting-” “-Let me get you a new one.”

“No need, Oscar. I will just go myself.” 

“Oh please, I insist-”

“-Here, take mine. I don’t drink Champagne.” I turn to my right, looking at the source of the new voice. A man I have not seen before stands there - a neat three piece in dark blue, adoring his well shaped physique. His dirty blonde hair combed back to perfection. He rearranges his glasses with his free hand before it disappears in the pocket of his trousers. The other one still holding out the glass to me. I realise I held a breath and nod at him, this time smiling genuinely. 

“Thank you-” I drift off, not taking my eyes off his. A little staring contest going on. I accept the drink and take a sip. Not having blinked once. Just like him.

“-Raymond. Raymond Smith.”

“Nice to meet you, Raymond Smith. I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” 

“I know that.” I quirk an eyebrow at his answer, him staying silent though, a small smile grazing his lips. 

“Well, why don’t I give you a little tour? We have a whole new balcony on the east wing-”

“-no, thank you Oscar. I just found a way more interesting activity.” I cut him off, not taking my eyes off of Raymond Smith. I see his lips twitch but he is holding back a smirk. Which makes my smile grow. I only hear a huff and grumbling. 

I then break the eye contact, feeling rather lost now and walk past him, closely past him. My shoulder barely touching his jacket. I can feel his eyes on my back, making me sway my hips a tad more than usual. The things the right man can make you do.

I decide to sit down at an empty table and pick out some of the delicate canapés placed in the center. It looks like a mushroom tartlet and once inside my mouth I nod to myself. One thing that makes me come back to these parties is definitely the appetisers and the drinks. Lot’s of effort goes into them but no one seems to enjoy any. Either because they are busy laughing at jokes that are not funny or because they think others would judge them for eating. I learned to not care, ever, about what someone thought of me because I eat more than them. Their loss.

“Enjoying the food, I see.” I chew quickly and swallow thickly, holding a napkin to my lips as Raymond sits next to me at the round table, taking a tartlet himself. I hum.

“I do, cannot be mad about the food. I am a true gourmet, what can I say. But- you probably already knew that, did you not?” I grin at him, watching his chew and making eye contact with me once more. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“No, did not. I will note it down though.” His teasing tone sparks my interest and I wonder how far I could go. Or what he works as. Why I have never seen him before. 

“Tell me, Raymond Smith, who are you?” I turn toward him, leaning my arm on the table and tilting my head slightly, full attention on him. He wipes his hands at a napkin, eyes cast down as he seems deep in thought. Choosing his words carefully. One of the only men here who do.

“I don’t really exist. I just - like a good dinner party every now and then.” I bite my lip at his cheeky reply, trying to hold back all the things running through my mind. 

“Can I guess?” I lift my head and he nods, gesturing for me to go ahead. He leans back slightly, probably expecting the most cliché answers anyway. So I think again, observing his posture and the drifting of his eyes every now and then. Back over to the big table. A couple people sitting there. He must be here either with his wife or colleague. I shake my head at the wife, he wouldn’t be sitting here with me if he had one. 

“Well, seeing as you’re not here by yourself, you must be the right hand to someone or - maybe you are the kid of a big fish.” He smirks, nodding. One must be correct. I go with my first instinct. “-a right hand man it is.” I look back over to where he seemed to focus earlier. I do know a few of them. One being a partner to my father’s business. Another one the son of said partner. And then - no way. Micheal Pearson himself. The Micheal Pearson. Sticky bush Pearson. But Raymond would not be involved-

“-I see you figured it out.” My eyes snap back to Raymond and I close my mouth, licking my dry lips in the process. I tense up, not knowing if running would be an appropriate reaction. But then again - I never cared about appropriate behaviour that much.

“And I also see you’re taken aback.” It sounded more like a question really. But I only nod, sending him a small smile.

“It is not every day that I cross paths with true gangsters.” 

“I will take that as a compliment. And just for your information-” He leans in closer, elbows on his thighs. “-there are a few more gangsters here than you would like to care.” 

I gulp at his intense eyes, he leans back up and stands to his feet, smoothing out his suit and buttoning his jacket. 

“Well, if you would excuse me, my duties as a right hand man are needed. Have a good rest of your evening, Miss (Y/L/N). Enjoy your dinner.” 

“You too, Mister Smith.” He nods, walking off. I look after him, Mister and Misses Pearson walking off with him and exiting the building. I let out a breath I was holding and sink back into the chair. Not without being haunted by those icy blue orbs.

...

_________________________________

More The Gentlemen Imagines

Full Masterlist

part two

[catthegreat123]

From life to death, from the last to the first

In the beginning there was only yesterday, ruled by fifteen gods.

..

..

..

These gods grew in strength and even more with the want to create.

So the first Ą̸̡̨̛̭͎̲̪͔̜͖̰̱̜̘͇̹͚͓͍͚̼̗̦̯̬̞͔͓̣̘͖̥̘̱̩̯̃̋̏̉̔͋͋̒̀͛̑̽͒̌̄̐̀̇͊̍̓̊́̽͌̒͗̇̒̈̅͘̚͘͝͠͠͝ͅl̷̨̛̜̺͙̤̘͆͑̆̈̇̃̊̀̽͂̔̀͑̎͆̔̀̅̂͂̌̉͒͆͗̍̆̋͊̚̕̕̕͘ͅl̵̨̛̛̦͍̥̅̈̓͒̐̎̾̅͂̌̃̊͆̅̌̊̉̔́̆͊̓͐͆̀͒̀̓̅͛̒̋͛͆͘̕̚̚͘͠͠m̴̛̲̟̳̪̱̻̰̞̪̲̯̺̉̂̔̍͑̌̈́̓̽̉̾̀̌͐̍͑́͊̾͊̈́̇̈̏͌̅͊͘̕͝͝͝o̷̧̧̡̧̢͖̤̹̩̼͉̩̭̾̌̒̉̀̾̅̐́́̏̓͌̍̑̓́̈́͛̑͒̓͊̓̂̔̕͘͜͝͠͠ẗ̷̡̢̜̬̺̮͕̬͖̹͎̪͓͉̳̳̮͕́̈́͋̇̚̚͜h̷̛̥̖̬̜̘̼͎̣̟͚̯͙͉̱̥̦̥̭̀̌͑̈́͛̐͗̈́̕͜͝͝ͅe̶̢̢̢̛͇̰̟̦̦͎̟̪̱̭̘̹͕̫͈̜̮͈̰̞̬͊̒̄̈̉̋̋̅̔̉̅̊̈́̎̀͐̌͛͋͛͗̑͌̂̈̊̎̓̆͗̃͂̽̍̕̕̚͝͝͠͝͠͝ŗ̵̧̢̨̧̡͙̥̼̯̣̭͕̙͖̗͉̣͙̫̫̜͕͍̜̟̣̻̪̱̘͕̗̰̦̜̮̝͖̞̖͇͈̤͔̻͊̌̓̂͜ͅͅͅs̸̨̧͓͈̳̩͚̑͌̋̆̑͋̈́͂̈́̀̾̒͑͘̕ were created.

They breathed life into a distorted growing world, a vast landmass emerging in their wake. The fifteen gods who created land and sea.

The Ą̸̡̨̛̭͎̲̪͔̜͖̰̱̜̘͇̹͚͓͍͚̼̗̦̯̬̞͔͓̣̘͖̥̘̱̩̯̃̋̏̉̔͋͋̒̀͛̑̽͒̌̄̐̀̇͊̍̓̊́̽͌̒͗̇̒̈̅͘̚͘͝͠͠͝ͅl̷̨̛̜̺͙̤̘͆͑̆̈̇̃̊̀̽͂̔̀͑̎͆̔̀̅̂͂̌̉͒͆͗̍̆̋͊̚̕̕̕͘ͅl̵̨̛̛̦͍̥̅̈̓͒̐̎̾̅͂̌̃̊͆̅̌̊̉̔́̆͊̓͐͆̀͒̀̓̅͛̒̋͛͆͘̕̚̚͘͠͠m̴̛̲̟̳̪̱̻̰̞̪̲̯̺̉̂̔̍͑̌̈́̓̽̉̾̀̌͐̍͑́͊̾͊̈́̇̈̏͌̅͊͘̕͝͝͝o̷̧̧̡̧̢͖̤̹̩̼͉̩̭̾̌̒̉̀̾̅̐́́̏̓͌̍̑̓́̈́͛̑͒̓͊̓̂̔̕͘͜͝͠͠ẗ̷̡̢̜̬̺̮͕̬͖̹͎̪͓͉̳̳̮͕́̈́͋̇̚̚͜h̷̛̥̖̬̜̘̼͎̣̟͚̯͙͉̱̥̦̥̭̀̌͑̈́͛̐͗̈́̕͜͝͝ͅe̶̢̢̢̛͇̰̟̦̦͎̟̪̱̭̘̹͕̫͈̜̮͈̰̞̬͊̒̄̈̉̋̋̅̔̉̅̊̈́̎̀͐̌͛͋͛͗̑͌̂̈̊̎̓̆͗̃͂̽̍̕̕̚͝͝͠͝͠͝ŗ̵̧̢̨̧̡͙̥̼̯̣̭͕̙͖̗͉̣͙̫̫̜͕͍̜̟̣̻̪̱̘͕̗̰̦̜̮̝͖̞̖͇͈̤͔̻͊̌̓̂͜ͅͅͅs̸̨̧͓͈̳̩͚̑͌̋̆̑͋̈́͂̈́̀̾̒͑͘̕ had three for every of their species, the first mothers. They are false gods, worshipped for their power but just as dangerous and killable as a minawnii.

I feel the rocks shift, I watched my sisters leave for the shallow colors above me. I want to sleep, I do not care for yesterday it bores me, though I do quite like the island in the middle.

It’s so full of life and society builds around herds of thousands….that’s the only place I want to go. Maybe I will go one day…maybe…

I reached my head out of the sea, watching the sands of tomorrow calling for something to take me from this sea to the land beyond. I have hoped for eons for that, now yesterday is gone, Today is here.

I have watched things pass over me as the land becomes lush, huge white kangaroo-like beings. They have black pupils that have watched me…I will not care when they die..

As I beg on this watery fence a nycoton comes to me, oh how I owe them my life. I know now I should not have cared for another mortal again after this NYCOTON but I did, and it hurts me still.

They stared at me like a pitiful dog who just fell in the river, I am older than the lush grass beneath that creatures claws. Though I will never be able to tell them not in my garbled words, corrupted and vile.

The white beasts came and attacked the poor creature ripping them apart, they died taking me to that lake, forever I wonder how it would be if they never lifted me from that cursed stream.

They lifted me from those waves and took me to a lake, an oasis. The same white creatures stare at me forever more like I am a plague come to kill them. In the end I was I guess…

The days grew hotter and I watched the pond shrink as centuries passed it became sand, the dense fur of those white diesura made them leave I think. They looked panicked every time I rose my head from the water, tossing meat at me in fear.

They ran and the oasis was empty for a while I watched hungrily, and soon wardens came.

Huge creatures, hellions I believe they came in wondrous elegance casting order in an empty land. They were at war I think, they didn’t like a poisonous alternates, big as them or as toxic as a mola mola.

I watched as in fear a huge green portal ripped through the sky, I watched as these wardens, overseers, protecters.

They betrayed their own duty….

They chased the creatures they warred with to the sky killing those who ran. I saw a young sar’hingaro fly away in tears, given mercy and vengeance by the wardens, allowed to live forever alone in this evil land.

I decided this land must learn, I told stories and legends from yesterday to anyone who came near my pond, speaking of trees bigger than imaginable, and mushroom grass that fed you like berries.

They all listened to these tales, some stayed to hear more, despite the stories being limited to the tales and songs told to me by the winds.

These tales attracted many beings across the lands, some came to the oasis for the stories. But overtime it became that the creatures wanted to not be alone.

Many creatures were roaming the land, alone save for their family. This barren desert served a collection, the steps and gallops of these creatures led to the oasis becoming more desert like.

Under the wardens rule the land flourished, but I listened to the wind, and heard the cries of that sar from oh so long ago.

It was called grief, it was alone forevermore, all it’s people left in a wasteland save for this poor beast.

Grief, as what was it’s name, grows to vengeance, so I watched as the sky was painted green in its monstrous size.

I watched helpless, as the wardens queen, a huge boreal, followed by verdants, ardors, and hellions alike.

It was a slaughter, the beasts I played games with and wondered at snow the young creatures I watched dance under the moon,

Gone,

Fire painted the sand red as the sar named grief destroyed the land, blowing holes in the mountains.

I watched it felt as if my gills ripped themselves from my body and cried with me.

A black and white kendyll heard, it listened to my distorted garbles, incomprehensible but full of tangible emotion, I had not eaten in so long and I was sad.

The kendyll listened and left for a few days and brung me, a carcass of something too marred with bites and blood to tell. I stayed quiet, carnage wrote itself over this poor thing.

MEAT

I feasted like a starving dog that night.

I learned how to speak sonarian better because of that kendyll, she talked to me so much….it was nice. A friend…I hadn’t had that in many millenia they were something I wanted to be if I could walk these lands…

But all things die, some more brutally than most.

I woke up one day swimminb to the shallows looking for that kendyll who spoke to me so much bringing me food and warming a heart as cold as the trenches below. Only to find only her dead floating body , bobbing on the surface of the sea covered in poison, already starting to rot.

Yet again I felt my heart twist and feel heavy, yet again that horrible feeling you despicable mortals call….grief. I swam around the shallows looking for any sign it was a joke…it wasn’t…

I will keep hope I WILL you mortals are just….lost…

But after a week or so, her child came to me, tail between their legs filled with the same twisting sight in their own hearts. They ranted sadly about how unfair it was an so on and so forth, I listened my heart broke a little more…. More than a god could even stand….. funny..

I have been here since the world began but I just can let go of the fact that mortals are corrupt.

The young kendyll grew older, as all mortals grew, they shown like stars on their stripes, a beauty to rival the three moons above our own heads, but at a cost of their own mother. A sad price I don’t think any being would pay…

I came to the shallows again hoping to be given food by the sad kendyll but found their drowned body instead, another friend had died. Those useless mortals can’t stay ALIVE why can’t they just STAY.

Yet again I cried and cried, but I didn’t want them to be eaten by a hungry idiotic scavenger so I buried their body in the sandy waters where kelp still grows, green by my blessing.

The last these kendylls to bring me food was the sad ones niece. I never learned their name but they were excitable. They ruled when the rulers of the oasis were divided, and rules were strict and cruel.

She ranted to me about the unfair rules and made plans of rebellion, they never came true though…. She died of sadness after she found her eggs crushed, and wife dead.

So useless….

The ani’s lasted longest out of all the rulers of the oasis, probably more than in the rule of the cruel Jeff’s.

The Jeff’s I never saw, but was told to me by the gods. The Jeff’s who built castles out of lightning and rock. Bigger than mountains and crushed creatures big and small out of rage.

The ani’s grew to a empire across the oasis. They swam in my waters playing and giving me food, as every ruler did before.

They were cruel killing every carnivore that came, it was hypocritical in a sense, they kept me alive at the cost of many I will never know…..

….

Their foolishness though led them to die to a volcanic eruption. I do not miss them though, they were religious and hateful to other species.

The ones who had lived under other kings, queens, emperors and empresses.

The final true caretaker was a green kendyll, scarred and mute. He never spoke but he is the only one I knew by name. The kendyll’s name was luv, a weird one but land dwellers are like that.

He showed me things in the sand I will never see and I marveled at it despite my life eons longer than his.

He brung me food more than the others, quiet, always seeming regretful.

One day I watched as he looked around with insanity in his eyes, a need to kill.

I watched as he killed anyone in his path, it was a slaughter. He killed everything, the sands blood red. Bubbling with hate and white hot vengeance.

Luv roared words that could only be described as madness, and anger that was fueled by a broken mind.

He screamed and crashed in hatred killing the divided rulers and their people. When I looked out of the pool of water I saw blood everywhere. Many sought retribution.

He came back after a few weeks scarred beyond comprehension and filled with grief. I couldn’t bear to lose another “friend”. I tried to protect him but….Luv didn’t survive his grief of killing so many. I tried hard to protect him and heal him, but it was all for not.

So that night he passed away.

As many centuries passed, empires and tyrants rose and fell like the suns above us all, the oasis changed. The sand would forevermore be red with rage and insanity and murder and disaster haunted every corner. I protected those who asked but was feared.

Kohiiki’s as old as me looked ghoulish and as ancient as I was I still hoped every little creature to every mammoth would live in peace one day.

One who shared my thoughts was a small vaumora not even three, who danced and played on the shallows of my large pond, always joyous when I spoke in my garbled mimicry of you land dwellers language.

The vaumora seemed to light up every bit of the red sands painted by blood for so long. Making even the worst of the inhabitants smile. But the little vaumora’s joy didn’t last, caught in the crossfire of a turf war, they died in flames.

I loved the oasis but I had seen it grow for what was three millennia now, crying over lost friends or watching coldy over corrupt rulers.

The last of these rulers to ever reign under my blessing and hopes was a group of jotunhel.

These seals were smart enough to protect and Ally with the worst but after so many generations the ideals changed. War painted the dunes, the plains, and redwoods. What was my last promise was gone, so I take my last goodbye.

I have watched the world change and tears of the last wardens. I hope while I leave to the dark abyss that I came from, immortal as I am. That your world changes to something better.

But I will not watch, my heart has been ripped from my gills to many times for that.

I want to come back, maybe when you have learned…

So goodbye to the oasis May we meet again at a time which is better.

:::::::

I have listened to the words of the wind for a long, long time. Watching the waves sing their hymns to me

My hope, despite being broken so many times may just be true. So I tell my sights back to the place a lot oh so long ago.

When I returned it was not the same place, scattered but at peace. It did have an overseer of sorts.

I really should have listened to those words and warnings the wind carried to me, through the depths of the ocean to the place this world rose from.

I placed to much hope in you creatures filled with greed and fear, to angry at each other to notice what had watched, like me fro an eternity.

:::::::

Aereis were old things, things that had been there since before the mountains were even molehills.

They always watched, some came but many hid and died in the ancient mountains of yesterday.

But for every species there was an allmother, the first of their kind, immortal and huge. There were three Aereis that were allmother’s, and one who watched a bit to closely. They were jealous of the allmother kohiiki who despite their title never had a single child.

A false god of sorts, she was jealous that they played, and spoke, and shared eternal knowledge to those from today and tomorrow. The Aereis waited, and waited for three millennia, and finally the Kohiiki allmother left, sad and hopeless.

The Aereis flew down casting order and life in to a broken kingdom teaching them of the world from before, when the volcano was a mountain in a sea. When the very oasis they stood on was nothing more than an island therochales congregated in massive herds of thousands.

The broken lands stood in confliction staring hatefully at the first predators, the ones who caused this wonderlands destruction.

From this hate the Aereis allmother molded the land into what she thought as perfect.

A land with no rules and only her false prophecies stolen from the great lmakosauridons from that long taken sleep and dreamed of better days.

::::::

I saw what had become of my waters filled with scratch marks, trying to get rid of what was the last words to this beloved place to me.

What changed?

I saw the Aereis, staring along the land like it was a junevile just out of the egg. What cruel fate was this?

I forged this land though my broken heart and it now belonged to a false god? They did not know who had forged these sands into something better, who watched it change and cry?

I looked for anything that remained, I may have been confined to the waters and held captive by the binds of the waves but the rain and wind told me songs and stories from tomorrow and today.

I listened to what happened, not of peace but of trickery and jealousy, and I raged.

I called every storm I could call hoping for change

I called for the greatest floods and the strongest hurricanes

The most evil gales that tore through mountains like paper

I called to every cloud and every drop of water to reek justice to what had been my hopes and dreams.

Dishonor to had been once was, but I am not cruel.

I called to the furies had sent to not harmed those who still remembered, those undeserving of the evils. Those who met justice would be given it in kind, I will reap just what they sought.

What was left of my land, stricken grew better, the red sands filled with blood no longer haunted the corrupt oasis. Trees grew tall and the island from yesterday grew back. But this cruelty still must meet justice.

I swam to the heart of this world and cried my regret, not thinking of the blood shed to a world that will never know. I will give something back to fix what had been lost.

I wanted to give the gift of a portal locked away. The wardens were long gone, I could not open it.

So I searched for some being who could. For decades a swam the endless waters, listened to the rains chatter and the winds excited symphonies.

I found what could’ve been, the tired ancient sar’hingaro from the days of the hellions, and it’s dying hope. I took what was needed, a soul for the freedom of a wastelands sorrows.

….

…

..

.

Finally my gift had been given, the world the wardens locked away in their unfit justice.

So few were left from that exile but they came back and I was happy.

I watched as my gift healed the blood that had built this tomorrow.

I am at peace now so I say this to my last hopes and dreams, I am ready to sleep I have rebuilt a world into something that yesterday had been, today had destroyed, and tomorrow was again.

It had been 20 long millennium and I am tired, so I sleep in the primordial rocks I came from with my two sisters. They will comfort me while I sleep, have been away from them for much to long…

From the ends of the earth and the reaches of the sky, my greatest treasure, I have told to you,

Till I awake again,

Leviathan

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Aftermath Chapter 7 - Now That The World Is Ending

Warnings: Cuteness, Gabriel holding baby/toddler Daenerys

Word count: 2.4k

Summary: In the final chapter of Aftermath, as the bombs drop down to Earth above their heads. The Winchesters have a surprise guest living with them. 

Guest OCs: Just the usuals. 

Guest Characters: Archangel Gabriel [Supernatural], John Seed [mentioned]

Note: Next is NEW DAWN: NEW HORIZONS. Taking place 15-17 years later in the year 2035. THANK YOU FOR READING MY CRAP!!!!

Far Cry New Dawn x Supernatural [crossover with OCs]

********

“Gabriel?!?” Kate mutters in confusion, and also in surprise. He looks up at the two sisters, with a soft smile on his face and weakly mutters “Surprise to see me?”. That question was directed towards Kate, and she smiles back in return. 

Surprised and also happy to see her Archangel. 

“How did you g-” Paige asks, before stopping herself when she realizes it was a stupid question, “That was a stupid question”.

They help him up, and take him to the main room. Sitting him down on the living room couch.

“Gabriel?!?” Mandy mutters as she walks into the room. In shock and surprised to see the wounded celestial, bleeding a little through his shirt. 

Paige leaves her mom, sister and the Archangel by themselves to go get Kenny and the others. Mandy then stands up, and goes to grab a first aid kit, or something that can heal an Archangel. Leaving Kate and Gabriel alone. She takes a seat in front of him. They look at each other for a few seconds. 

“What happened?!” she asks, opening his shirt, and cleaning his wound on his stomach. 

He shrugs, and softly groans in pain “I’ve sorta lost my powers”.

She furrows her eyebrows at him, “Sorta?!?”. 

He sighs, “I’ve lost some of my powers when I was cast out”.

She looks at him, confused, “Cast out?. What do you mean cast out?”

He looks at her, “I’m sure you saw the giant mushroom cloud in the sky”. She nods, “Yeah, we all saw it”.

He shifts in his spot on the couch, “Did you see what else appeared in the sky shortly after?".

Shaking her head, “No, we all ran down here. What else happened?”.

He looks her in the eyes, and says in the most dramatic way possible, “All Angels were cast out of Heaven”. 

Her eyes widened, “What?!?. All of them? Everyone?". He nods his head slowly, she stands up from her spot, and paces. Worried about her boyfriend, her friends and everyone she got to know in Hope County. Playing with the bracelet Wheaty gave her. Her thoughts are interrupted by the wounded Archangel on the couch in front of her. 

“A boyfriend huh?” he asks, chuckling and looking up at her.

She looks at him confused, “What?!?”.

“You got a boyfriend?" he asks, "Or had one".

She tries to hold back her tears, biting her lip “Not helpful Gabe” she mutters softly. Standing there in front of him, her hands resting on her cheeks, looking at the floor. Her anxiety builds up, and her hands become shaky. 

Gabriel stares at her stomach, just something about it looks different to him. It looks slightly bigger, like she put on some weight. He can’t seem to put his finger on it, but whatever it is he can feel some strange essence, or some sort of energy coming from it, coming from her body. She has a slight glow on her face, but it could be sweat. 

Kate notices him staring at her stomach. “Why are you staring at my stomach?!?” she asks, glaring over at him. Breaking his focus on her slightly bigger stomach. 

He looks up at her, anticipating for her to slap him for asking the question, “Don't hit me for asking this but, did you gain weight??”.

She scoffs at him, rolling her eyes, and crosses her arms. Taking a few steps away from him, “You never ask those types of questions to a human Gabe”. 

He tilts his head, curiosity getting the best of him, and motions her to come towards him, “Come towards me”. She heeds, and walks towards him, standing in arms reach. He places his hand on her 7 and a half week baby bump, and feels why his curiosity is concerned about her belly. 

His eyes widened, he looks up at her with his eyebrows raised “You’re pregnant?!”. 

Feeling somewhat hurt that his special human is pregnant with another man's child. 

For a moment she forgets that she’s carrying another tiny human being inside her, she nods her head, “Yeah. I am”.

"And it's not mine?!" he jokes, totally not hurt that his human is pregnant. Moving his hand away. 

She scoffs again, "We both know the outcome for that". Taking a seat next to him.

"You were there, you knew I'm pregnant" she tells him. He looks at her confused. 

"I was where??" he asks, very confused. She looks at him in disbelief,  thinking this Trickster is messing with her. "In my hallucination trip. A few months ago" she tells him. 

He looks at her like he has no idea what she's talking about. Shrugging, "What are you talking about??". 

She shakes her head, "It's nothing. Forget it". She drops the hold thing, she knows what she saw in her bliss hallucination a few months ago. 

A few moments later, Paige walks back into the living room with Kenneth, Cody, Martin, Mark, Nate and Adrian. 

"Gabriel?!?" the 6 men say in unison. 

The Archangel chuckles, "Did you all rehearse that?!". 

He catches them all up on what was happening in the world. Angels, all of them were all cast out of Heaven, God tried to wipe out all of humanity with a nuclear explosion. The Collapse. The Reckoning. The Apocalypse. The End. The whole world is up in flames. Literally. Heaven is shut down with no one but God up in cloud city. 

*****

May 2019. 7 months later

It’s been 7 months since the bombs were dropped. After several hours the bombs stopped falling, and you'd think everything would be safe to go back out. Nope, knowing that you're gonna have to live underground in a bunker with 20 other people for the next 6 and a half years. After 2 and a half months the world has now ended but it's only just begun. 

No other bombs, or explosions have been dropped by The Man upstairs. The World was going through the route of regrowing, and being reborned. Starting over again.

On May 2nd, Kate gave birth to a healthy baby girl. A few weeks earlier on April 16th, Paige had a C-section giving birth to triplets, 2 boys and 1 girl with the help of Cody, his wife and Adrian’s wife Amanda delivered all 4 of them. Having all the right equipment in the bunker infirmary, stored away.

Jeffrey Dean Winchester-Smith named after her cousin, Dean. Weighing 7 pounds, and 5 ounces.

Thomas Sam Winchester-Smith also named after her cousin, Sam. Weighing 7 pounds, and 5 ounces. 

Bianca Rhea Winchester-Smith because she's always liked the name Bianca. Weighing 7 pounds, and 4 ounces. 

Daenerys Arya Brienne Winchester named after Daenerys Targaryen, Arya Stark and Brienne of Tarth all female characters from Game of Thrones. Being the smallest of the 4 infants, weighing 6 pounds, and 5 ounces. 

Cristina is over a year old. 1 year, and 6 months old. She is now walking, she has almost all of her teeth, and can say 7 to 10 words. She is able to comprehend language, and know from right from wrong. From good from bad. 

The triplets are a little over a month old now, Daenerys is 2 in a half weeks old. 

During her pregnancy, Gabriel was very protective of Kate, even though they were all living underground in a huge bunker, and couldn't leave for another 6 in a half years. 

Cradling her 20 day old daughter in her arms, Kate feeds her a bottle of formula. Gabriel was very cautious around her, afraid that he'll somehow hurt the tiny infant. Even though he has very little to no powers left in him. 

He tried to keep a safe distance from her, Kate constantly reminded him that he didn’t need to worry about hurting the infant. That he and Daenerys will be fine. He is very fond of humans, of course, unlike most celestial beings. That was his one fear, hurting her. 

"You wanna hold her?!" she asks him. He looks up at her, stammering. "Uhh, do-do you want me to?". 

She smiles at him, "It's fine with me" she responds. She hands him the tiny infant. He holds her, cradling her and she starts to fuss in his arms. Making her typical baby sounds. 

He groans uncomfortably, holding her away from him, stammering “Uhhh w-what is happening?!?”.

“She’s fine” she reassures him, fixing her baby blanket, “It’s a normal infant reaction”. 

She starts to calm down, yawning and falling asleep in Gabriel’s arms with her finger in her mouth. 

“What’s happening?!?” he nervously asks, “Is she dead?!?”. 

She looks at him, chuckling, “She’s not dead. She’s asleep”. She takes the infant from his arms and puts her in her old bassinet. 

Paige comes in holding one of her triplets. “Hey” she says, looking down at the one month old infant in her arms. 

“Hey” Kate responds, “Which triplet is that?”. 

She groans unsurely, and checks the diaper, “Thomas, and/or Jeffrey”.

“It’s Thomas!” Kenneth calls out from the next room over, “You’re holding Thomas!”. 

She points in the direction where her husband's voice came from “The 2nd one. Thomas Sam”. 

“How’s the scar?” she asks, referring to her C-section scar. 

She groans uncomfortably, “It’s healing. Slowly, but it’s healing”. 

*****

Later that night, Everyone is in their own bunker rooms. Kate is in hers, changing Daenerys into her night onesie. 

Talking to the infant in a soft voice. Gabriel, who is a few rooms over, can hear Kate and the tiny human with the very little powers he has. Leaning against the headboard of his bed, listening to her conversation.

He knows he’s Kate’s Guardian Angel, he saved her several times, he gripped her tight, and raised her from perdition when she was a somewhat innocent teenager. He’s her soulmate as well. He has had these feelings for her since forever. He knows she would be better off with her boyfriend before God dropped the bombs on humanity, but he’s most likely dead. John? He’s dead as well, and he knows damn well that Daenerys is his kid. He knows Kate is ashamed that she’s his kid, regardless she loves her. 

He couldn't possibly imagine how Daenerys would've turned out if John Seed had lived. How he would've treated Kate, how that demented, psycho family would've treated a pregnant Kate. A premarital baby. How that sadist psychopath would somehow ruin Kate and their baby.

He gets up, and goes to her room. Walks down the hall and knocks on the door. 

“Yeah?” she responds her voice muffled from behind the closed door. He opens the door and steps inside her bedroom. 

“Hey” he sighs, “How she doin’?”. 

“She’s doing great” she answers, taking a seat on her bed. Gabriel takes the leap of faith, not holding back.

“I just wanted to get us over with” he tells her. Kate looks at him confused, “What are you talking about?!?”. 

He lays down on her bed, laying on his side with his hand prompt up against his cheek. Looking up at her. 

He lifts up his free hand from behind him, and holds a diamond ring between his index and middle fingers. Her eyes light up, and gasps softly. 

“You already know where I’m going with this” he chuckles, “Will you marry me? Blah, blah, blah. I love you. Blah, blah, blah. You could do so much more better than that idiot Yes man John Seed”.

She laughs softly at his comments, “So. In all seriousness” he continues, “Will you marry me?”. 

She looks at him, “You already know the answer” she whispers to him before passionately kissing him on the lips.

Katella Evyanna Winchester is set to marry an Archangel. Archangel Gabriel. She always thought of herself as the human he had to protect. That’s all she thought she was to him. His human.

*****

A few years later, November 2022, the children are all 3 years old, Cristina turned 5 years old that same month. 

Daenerys, the youngest of all the children, wakes up at 6:00am, which is unusual for a child at her age to get up at, and feel energetic.

Her and the other 4 Winchester children share the same bedroom, across the hall from their parents rooms. She stumbles to Kate and Gabriel’s room, pushes the door open and climbs onto their bed. 

“Mommy! Daddy!” she says loudly, waking them up. 

Kate groans, as her daughter steps on her with her tiny feet. She sits on Gabriel’s chest and playfully slaps his cheeks. Waking him up.

“What?” he asks, half asleep. She giggles softly, “Wakey wakey”. He chuckles softly, slowly sitting up. 

He looks over at the clock, “It’s 6 in the morning, how are you so energetic?!” he asks the 3 year old child. 

She lets out a playful giggle, and jumps up and down on their bed. 

She looks up at the child bouncing on the bed, having the same exact eyes as John. Those baby blue eyes that she got from him, a reminder that this little bundle of joy and happiness is also John Seed's daughter. 

He gets up out of bed and carries the 3 year old child down the bunker hallway towards the kitchen. 

Despite him being an Archangel with very little of his powers. He manages to get 3-6 hours of sleep, and eat solid foods. Not wanting to use his very little powers in fear that he’ll hurt any of the children living in the bunker, he manages to get by without using them, he knows the world above them is going through some change, a huge massive change that'll change everyone's lives. 

But finally being able to marry the human he fell in love with, and fathering her child, he was more than happy to be a part of their lives.  

Paige and Kenneth walk into the kitchen shortly after, her holding Jeffrey and Thomas in each of her arms. Kenneth holding Bianca, and Cristina following behind him. 

"Here you go" Paige mutters, sitting the two toddlers in their seats at the kitchdn table. Everyone else wakes up half an hour later. Adrian, and his wife Amanda. Mark, his wife Dana and 2 kids. Nate, his wife Ellen and 3 kids, Martin and his fiancée Megan, Cody and his wife Brandy. Mandy, Barbara, Kenneth, Gabriel, Paige, Kate and their kids. 

One bunker with 20+ people, and 1 Archangel living in it. 16 adults, and 10 kids. Having to spend another 2-4 years underground while the Earth regrows, and the radiation goes away. Its only a matter of time, and they can go back to their normal lives, or at least they think its their normal lives. 

Hopefully, a new hope. A New Dawn. New Horizons will come their way.

[cao-the-dreamer]

OC interview: Kosaqun Adaar

Thank you @razumairon​ for the tag!!

Introduction

Can you introduce yourself?

*enthusiastic wave then signs* I’m Kosaqun Adaar! Nice to meet you!!

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

My gender is wild wheel and my orientation is ONWARD! *silent laughs* Just kidding. And the love of my life is Aderyn. Maybe you saw her lurk in the halls. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

Where and when were you born?

On the road! Baby Me popped out during a journey. *pondering look* That was around 9:05 Dragon, I think? 

What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

My fists! I’m a mage but I can throw a mean punch. As for my other weapons, it’s a secret. *grins*

Lastly, are you happy?

*smiles disappears* ...How am I supposed to answer that?

Family and Friends

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

According to Aderyn, I am a lucky bastard because I have four parents. I totally agree! They’re Ticiss, Meraad, Vatreth and Kathaban. They’re chaotic, full of ideas and with their heart on their sleeves. I get so many hugs when I visit them *soft squeal* I’m an only child though. That was fine, there were lot of other children to play within the Lavellan clan. Keeper Istimaethoriel is like an aunt to me.  

Have you ever ran away from home?

Clearly, you have never been in my home, or else this thought would have never crossed your mind. It was like an island amidst the chaos. Full of peace and laughter. Before we settled, we used to travel with the Lavellan clan. They were my second home.

Would you consider marriage or having children?

*beams* Aderyn and I are planning our wedding! But kids, no. We have enough babysitting duties with the Valo-Kas as it is, thank you very much *snickers*

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Why would I???? Do that?????

Which friend knows everything about you?

*hums* Does Cole count? He reads minds. But I would say Varric. He helped me a lot to see through this mess and he was one of the few who knew sign language at the time. We can have very long conversations.

Asked by Fans

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

If you mean human school, then the answer is obvious. No. But my parents taught me to read and write in Common, in Qunari, in Riviani and in Antivan. Meraad and Kathaban used to be sailors, so they had to learn the tongues of the different harbours they accosted to.

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

I once joked that my pretty face would help charming people in joining the Inquisition. Turns out my advisers did make recruitment posters with me being half naked on it. I admit, I laughed my head off when I learnt that. Hence why I often wander with my tits out *chortles* helps swooning the people in the room.

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

*coughs* apparently there are deadly mushrooms and I. Didn’t know that. Cassandra blew a gasket when she saw me eat one and forced me to spit it out. I guess I’m tolerant to their poison? *shrugs*

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

I don’t think anyone wouldn’t get a bad case of anxiety if they’re suddenly catapulted at the top of a massive organisation and they have to save the world. Not the best way to wake up. *mournful gaze*

What is your current main goal?

Aside from defeating Corypheus? Getting married to Aderyn *beams* I’m so excited!! Have you seen my future wife? She’s so wonderful and strong and witty and-- I just love her so much!!!

Choices

Drink or food?

You guys can have a meal without drinks or food??

Cats or dogs?

*nervous laughter* *commotion heard from outside, Cassandra yelling at Aderyn to keep the damn dracolisk in the stable* Cats?

Optimist or pessimist?

*deadpan stare* My dear, were I a pessimist, I would be drinking myself into a stupor buried in the snow and we wouldn’t have this discussion.

Sassy or sarcastic?

If rolling eyes on a hourly basis counts as sarcastic, then sure, I’m sarcastic!

Have You Ever

Been caught sneaking out?

*coughs* Cassandra caught me every time I tried to leave Haven in the middle of the night. I hated this place, no matter how many times she yelled at me. Skyhold is... much better.

Received flowers?

Fools, I’m the one who gives flowers. You will leave this interview with a flower crowns, whether you like it or not.

Ghosted someone?

*blank stare* What is that supposed to mean?

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Well, I don’t even hear the jokes, and most of the time the pun is lost on translation. It’s fine, there are other ways to genuinely laugh with other people. Like tickles!

[desiraypark]

When the Sun Sleeps in Canto Bight [5]

Previous Entire Work CHAPTER PLAYERS

The Knights of Ren: Ushar, Cardo, Trudgen, Ap’lek, Vicrul aka “Vic”, and Kuruk) Kylo Ren, Leader of the Knights of Ren Ruby Girard, The Beautiful Singer CHAPTER CONTENT N*FW -| Sexual content; mention of sex work; alcohol; language; back-story Additional Notes: Galactic Standard Calendar | 1920s Stockings, Tights, Nylons, Socks History by Vintage Dancer (scroll down to see how women of color (particularly Black women) wore their stockings) Word Count: 2,721

“I don’t get it. You fuck ‘em good, you give ‘em money and nice clothes—put ‘em up in a nice place, and they still aren’t satisfied. If I was a broad, I would be a-fuckin’ okay,” Ushar said, leaning back in a chair and smoking a cigarette. “She wants the ring, man. She wants the ring,” Cardo said. He was cleaning his gun. “Well, I’ve got a damn wife! Shit!” Ushar proclaimed. The Knights of Ren—all but Kylo, Vic, and Kuruk—were sitting in office of The Garden Lounge—their flagship establishment for over thirty years. It was a placed that lived up to its name: beautiful plant décor in the lounge; sky blue walls and plush brown carpeting—girls dressed in just enough to not be obscene, but just a little to remind you of “nature”, if you will. Vic was out front entertaining guests and Kuruk was manning the office. Trudgen was leaning against the teak-wood desk, downing a glass of whiskey, while Ap’lek was stretched out across the chaise. Finally, Kylo came in. 

“Evening, fellas,” Kylo said. “Evening,” they responded. “Where’s Vic?” Kylo asked as he sat behind his desk. “Minglin’,” Ap’lek answered. “Do you have your fuckin’ shoes on my couch?” Kylo asked. Ap’lek sat up and planted his feet on the floor. “Sorry, Boss.” “What’s goin’ on with the wife?” Kylo asked Ushar. He shook his head. “Wife’s fine. It’s the other one that’s bein’ a fuckin’ brat,” he responded.    “Why don’t you get rid of her?” Kylo asked, organizing things that didn’t need organizing on his desk. “Pussy’s too good, man.” The Knights chuckled. “Can somebody get—” Kylo started. At that moment, Vic walked through the door and left it open. Kuruk stood outside but stayed close enough to the office to hear what was going on. Vic sat beside Ushar, and Trudgen sat beside Ap’lek on the sofa. Kylo looked up at Kuruk and waved him in. “Come on in, Kuruk. Nobody’s gonna barge in here,” he said. Kuruk nodded, closed the door, and leaned against the wall beside it. “What’s goin’ on, fellas? Ap’lek, anything you wanna discuss?” Kylo asked. “Nope.” “I hear the Kesyk gang’s got a hold of some new toys. Automatic. Fast,” Cardo chimed in. “What makes ‘em special?” Kylo asked. “Faster. More precise. Lightweight,” Cardo answered. “Interesting. Look into it. How’s tricks?” “Steady,” Ushar answered. “The johns are startin’ to get a little bold, though. One of ‘em got a little rough with Hela and she cut him.” “Why can’t these bastards shoot their fuckin’ nut and leave?” Kylo asked. “How’s Hela?” “You know her. She’s cool but she said she’ll do it again,” Ushar answered. “As she fuckin’ should.

“Yeah, but--you think that would drive men away?” Ushar asked. “These fuckin’ johns would step over alligators to get some ass. And they know we’ve got the best fuckin’ girls and guys in Canto Bight. If they act like they have some sense, they ain’t gotta worry about nobody pullin’ no fuckin’ blades on ‘em.”

Ushar shrugged in reluctant agreement, and Vic smiled to himself. 

 The booze?” Kylo asked. 

“Booze is flowin’. Hearin’ more complaints from South Side, though,” Vic answered. “They still waterin’ the shit down?” Kylo asked. “No. This time they’re puttin’ in too much,” Vic answered. 

“People goin’ in for a couple of drinks and walkin’ out eatin’ the fuckin’ concrete,” Trudgen chimed in. He polished off his whiskey. “Fuckin’ idiots. I guess the only thing we can do is give them a fuckin’ recipe book or somethin’,” Kylo said. “Anything else goin’ on?” “Nope/No, boss,” the Knights said in unison. Vic cleared his throat. “There is one thing. Ren’s cousin reached out to me,” he said. “Sheev? That fuckin’ weirdo. What does he want?” “He was very vague. Said he wanted to discuss business and his “retirement”. Said to swing by the Death Star anytime. I was thinking Primeday? Around 2?” Vic suggested. “No can do. Got plans on Primeday. Centaxday. Afternoon.” Vic nodded. **********************

PRIMEDAY 

Kylo had spent the afternoon before dreaming up the perfect Primeday dinner. Everything usually closed or closed early on Primeday, so he had to think fast. Once he got an idea, he made his list and headed out to the markets—the butcher for lamb chops; the produce vendor for potatoes, mushrooms, lemons, and carrots. He’d even snatched a bottle of wine from the Garden Lounge’s inventory, and bought a chocolate cake from the bakery. Ruby agreed to be picked up at three. 

When Kylo pulled up at about 2:55, Ruby stood outside her building wearing another pink dress, blue baby doll heels, white stockings, and holding a white clutch in her hand. Thick curls peeped out of her white cloche hat. As she walked to the car, he climbed out and lifted his hands. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked. Ruby froze. “What?” “You’re supposed to wait for me to come to your fuckin’ door,” he said. Ruby shook her head and kept walking, and he walked toward her. She looked him over—his tall figure dressed from head to toe in black: black trousers, black shirt, black vest, black oxfords. “I just thought it would be more convenient for me to wait outside for you,” she fibbed. Truth was, she didn’t want Crystal sizing him up and asking him questions. Kylo took her hand and led her to the car.  

Kylo had called Ruby’s building a dump. His building was nice, but so lifeless and empty. No art on the walls; no flowers. His own apartment was similar. Clean. Very clean and neat. But no art. No colorful accents to catch your eye. He had a gramophone but owned no records. At least he had a radio. After he’d poured her a glass of wine in his tiny kitchen, she’d taken it upon herself to go into the living room and turn it on. Then, she got a better look at the place—no pictures. Just a burgundy couch that appeared to never have been sat on and a dining table with only two chairs in the corner. “You gonna leave me in here by myself, Babydoll?” Kylo called from the kitchen. Ruby smiled and walked back into the kitchen. Kylo had taken off his vest and rolled up his sleeves. He was standing over his stove, putting potatoes into a pot of water. Then, he went into the icebox and pulled out a thick piece of brown paper—stuffed with something. Ruby leaned against the counter and watched him work, trying to bite down a smile. “Tell me about yourself,” he requested. Ruby took a sip of her wine. “You first.” She saw his chest rise and fall, trapping a chuckle. “What do you wanna know?” Ruby thought back to the things Crystal told her. Where to start? Why did he call himself Kylo Ren if he was a Solo? An Organa? She chose to point at the most intriguing target. “Did you try to kill your father?” she asked. Kylo dropped pieces of meat into a bowl he’d filled with water. “I didn’t try to kill him. We got into a fight. He was winning. I pulled a knife on him to scare him off.” Ruby’s jaw dropped. “Oh…” Kylo didn’t continue. “May I ask what the fight was about?” Kylo sighed. He grabbed a bottle of vinegar from his cupboard and poured some into the bowl. 

“I’d been out with some friends. Fuckin’ around. Stayed the night with some br--some girl--and didn’t come home until the next morning. I was 18. Thought I was a man. My dad wouldn’t let me inside. Told me I was falling to the Dark Side...that I needed to repent and start coming to sanctuary with him, yada-yada-yada. I told him to shove his sanctuary up his ass and we just started brawlin’ in front of the neighbors.” “So, you’ve always been a little smart mouth,” Ruby joked. Kylo laughed. “Not always. I was just tired of people telling me what to do.” Ruby put her wine glass on the counter, grabbed the edge, then lifted herself to sit high. Then, she yanked off her hat and fluffed her hair. “What did your mom have to say about all of this?” she asked. “She did what she usually did. Defended me in front of him. Because she hates him just as much as I do. But told me how much of a disappoint I was to her behind closed doors.” Ruby’s watched Kylo move about in silence--moving the meat around in the bowl. Everything was making sense. The typical tale—poor little rich boy, rebellious and angry. He glanced at her, then avoided her sympathetic stare--placing his eyes on the pot of boiling potatoes instead. 

“I’m sorry you went through that,” she said. He shrugged and washed his hands.

"Eh. I’m over it. It was a long time ago,” he said. He dried his hands on a towel, then poured himself a glass of wine. “Your turn,” he said as he poured. 

“What do you want to know?” Ruby asked, echoing him. “Tell me about your parents.” He rested his hip against the counter and took a sip.

“I think…my mom is essentially your dad,” she said with chuckle. “Everything is dark-sided to her. Singing about anything unrelated to the gods. The radio. Picture shows. Lipstick. She didn’t have to put me out. As soon as I turned 18, I was outta there.” Kylo listened to Ruby speak, but found himself getting lost in her--her hands that moved with every word she said; brown legs that lifted by the knee when the edge of the counter started cutting off her circulation. Even when she talked, there seemed to be a melody in her voice. She spoke highly of her father—apparently he was a laid-back and funny man—and she justified her mother’s puritan ways by admission of her being protective and caring. “So, mom wouldn’t think too highly of me, huh?” Kylo asked. “Oh, she’d probably melt into a puddle, she’d be so incensed,” Ruby said with a laugh. She guzzled the remainder of her wine. Ruby’s laugh made him smile. He tapped his fingers against his wine glass. “What does Ruby think about me?” he asked. A stillness fell over her. She stared at Kylo’s face—dark eyes boring into her; long waves draped over the side of his face as the result of a side part. Her eyes fell onto the stitches on his cheek, then back at his irises. “I think you’re impulsive and hot-headed,” she said. Kylo rolled his eyes and smirked. “…and passionate. Maybe even loyal...in search of something…” Potatoes began to knock against each other in the pot. Kylo stared into Ruby’s eyes, then at her painted lips. They parted just a centimeter, as though tired of being pressed together. Tired of not being touched. Kylo leaned in close and stopped. Ruby traveled the rest of the space and pressed her lips to his. He moved to stand directly in front of her and held the nape of her neck, pulling her closer as she rested her hands on his waist. He stopped kissing her but didn’t pull his face away. “You want me to stop?” he asked breathlessly. His heart was pounding and he silently prayed that she said “no”. “No,” she said. Kylo pressed his lips back against hers and ran his hand up her thigh. She held the back of his neck and deepened their kiss—pushing her tongue into his mouth. He let her tongue in, and the hand that was on her neck, moved up to grab a handful of her curls. Ruby moaned into his mouth and opened her knees. The feeling of Ruby’s knees moving against him made Kylo stiffen. His hand moved further up her thigh, and in between them. He slipped two fingers past the seat of her panties and rubbed them against her outer lips. Then, he rubbed his way to her warm core and pushed them inside. Ruby pulled her face away and rested her head against the cupboard. Her eyes were wide. “Your fingers are big,” she said with shock in her voice. Kylo smiled and kept fingering. He pushed her left knee open some more, then watched her face crinkle. She closed her eyes and bit down on her lip—allowing ecstasy to overtake her. Then, he stopped fingering her and bent at his waist. Just as he did so, the water on the stove began to boil harder. He jumped up—annoyed at the stove for doing its job—turned the burner off, yanked Ruby’s panties down, and put them in his pants pocket. Then, he pushed back the skirt of Ruby’s dress. She tilted to the left to lift the right hem, then tilted to the right to lift the left—revealing the hooked garters that pressed into her fleshy thighs and held her nylons up. She let the bottom of her dress bunch at her waist.

Kylo stared at her vulva—everything. The lips; the slit leaking from its top and probably down to her core with arousal; the brown rosebud that was fighting to be seen. Ruby pressed her palms against the counter and opened her legs more. Kylo smirked. “Anxious?” he asked. “Yes. I am,” she answered—breath loud, hot, and sure. Kylo bent at the waist and turned his body to the side. He dipped his head between Ruby’s inner thighs, and without hesitation, rapidly flicked his pointed tongue against her clit. Ruby cried out and grabbed a handful of his hair, moaning as he lapped her up. He didn’t abandon an inch of her—tongue venturing around, over, and inside of her—causing her to grind against his face. With a mouth full of pussy, he stared up at her, ego steadily growing with every squirm, every twitch of her brow and every bite of her lip. When he stuck his fingers back inside, she tightened her grip against his scalp and finally looked down at him. The sight of him looking up at her with darkened eyes made her own eyes close again, but he put space between his lips and her flesh. “Look at me when you come,” he said. A chill went down Ruby’s spine and she looked down into Kylo’s eyes. He inserted a third finger and massaged her walls as he sucked and ravaged her clit. Suddenly, he felt her contracting over his fingers. Her jaw dropped and a strained sound left her throat. Then, she let out an endless high-pitched moan and tried to pull away from his lips—but Kylo didn’t stop until his tongue absorbed the very last drop of her sweet cum. She fell backward and rested her head on the cupboard again—loud breaths filling the quiet of the kitchen. Barely giving her a minute, Kylo peeled her off the counter and tossed her over his shoulder—making her squeal as if she were on an amusement ride. He carried her to his bedroom and dropped her onto his bed. He pulled off her shoes, then pulled at the buttons of his vest. Ruby sat up, pulled her dress over her head, unclasped her bra, and tugged at the hook on her right garter. “Keep those on,” he said. He stared at her thighs and licked his lips.

Ruby moved her hand and fell back. She watched Kylo get completely naked. She barely got a good look at him before he was on top of her, planting kisses against her neck. He grabbed her right leg and pressed it back so that her knee was over her chest. Shortly after, she felt something warm and stiff rubbing against the outside of her core—it pressed into her, and the pressure sent a wave throughout her entire body. “Fuck…” they whimpered at the same time. Then, they chuckled. Kylo kissed her lips and inhaled her moans as he pushed more inches into her. He caught her grabbing the blanket in his peripheral, and slowly penetrated her until he couldn’t go any further. “You okay?” he asked. “Yes,” she strained to answer. 

He grabbed her left hand and placed it over the meatiest part of his waist. Then, he dragged out of her, and drove back in. He held on to her right thigh, the leg still pushed back, and dipped in and out of her—fast enough to please, but slow enough for the both of them to feel their lover’s every twitch and pulse, and grip and stroke.

[vikingsarememes]

His True Wife

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Main Characters: Hvitserk Ragnarsson, Reader.

Characters Mentioned: Amma, Ubbe, Ivar, Original characters

Summary: you finally found your friend, but you didn’t like what you saw, it was time for you to take things into your own hands.

Word Count:   1850

A/N: none.

warnings: typical addiction and hallucination stuff

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

“Hvitserk please, there’s someone who wishes to meet you” Amma pleaded, knocking harder on the door, Hvitserk finally opened the door, hiding most of his face and body, he looked at you as if he just saw a ghost “no! You are dead!” he shouted pointing at you, fear in his eyes “what?” you frowned and looked at Amma, waiting for an explanation “he’s sick, he sees ghosts sometimes, he thinks you are one of them” the man slammed the door shut.

Seeing him like this made your heartache, made you want to scream “what happened to him?” you demanded, trying your best not to fall into tears “Ivar happened my lady, he… he banished him then burned his wife alive, Thora, he keeps calling her name, he sees them everywhere” she said with sympathy, you took a deep breath, trying not to vomit, Ivar would never do that to her, or would he? Now that you look back, the man’s changed, he was driven to madness by that snake.

You knocked violently on the door “Hvitserk open the door, please, let me talk to you! Let me see you! I thought you were gone I will not leave before talking to you” you said determined, and you kept knocking until Hvitserk opened the door again, he screamed at you, you looked at him, so calm, then you screamed back at him, you pushed your way inside of his cabin, dark, with no fire to keep him warm, only one candle was lit, you saw the roof leaking a little, you kept looking around, trying to gather enough courage to take a good look at your friend.

“I will let you two talk, you know where you can find me if you need me,” she said mostly to you, Hvitserk stood in the middle of the room, dazzled, yet his head hanged so low, Hvitserk was a tall man, who stood with pride but now, he seemed ever so small, like a child, his eyes were red, his golden hair turned dark of dirt, you walked closer to him, he didn’t dare to look at you “Hvitserk, for Odin’s sake look at me!” you pleaded, cupping his face with both of your hands “I’m not supposed to… Ivar killed you… he went to your farm before heading away… please be gone, I’m begging you, I have enough ghosts of my own” his tears started to fall, yours as well.

You took him in an embrace, hoping it would be enough proof, “tell me, would a dead person hug?” you whispered softly, Hvitserk didn’t hug you back, Hvitserk used to visit your farm just to hug you, and now, he can’t bring himself to wrap his shaking arms around your body and hug you “Hvitserk what happened to you?” you asked taking another look at your long lost friend.

“I see her everywhere, my wife, Thora, remember her? She said she’d leave me alone if I avenge her death, I drink to make her go away, she never does! She’s everywhere! Her face is burnt! Her touch feels like death, she wants to kill me Y/N, she wants blood! And Ivar… he’s everywhere, he’s mocking me, he’s torturing me!” he explained, looking at empty spaces in the room, trembling, shaking, you held him, knowing if you let go of him he’d fall.

“Damn you Ragnarssons” you mumbled and caressed his hair, feeling the grease on the palm of your hand “Hvitserk are you staying here alone?” you asked, already made up your mind about what to do next “Amma visits sometimes” he replied, “Ubbe?”, “he wants nothing to do with me… I’m disgrace, he’s ashamed of me, and I do not blame him, I try to make him proud, but I fail, just like I failed Thora” he started sobbing, you held him close, waited for him to calm down, cursed Ubbe for not looking after his brother, for letting him go this mad.

“Would you like to come with me? Back to the farm… away from everyone and everything” you suggested, but mostly, you informed “I… I must stay here, I need ale, and mushroom, I need to forget” you took a deep breath “you need to recover, nothing bad ever happens in the farm” 

“Elizabeth, Trys, please, gather Hvitserk’s belongings, we will take him with us” you roared, your two slaves joined in, picking up his clothes, they put them in a basket, Hvitserk didn’t protest, he simply stood, shaking and looking down at his feet “please Hvitserk, you love my farm, you love playing with the goats, I have so many now. Some are babies, don’t you want to play with them again? I have sheep too, and Trys here, she cooks well, she can prepare all of your favorite food, chicken, and bread, what do you say white shirt? Would you come and stay with me instead? Allow me to look after you” 

You waited patiently, your maidens already took everything that seemed to be useful and placed it in the cart, Hvitserk eventually nodded, a shy nod but you’ll accept it “you won’t regret it, I promise” you grinned and hugged him, leading him to the cart, you made sure he sat well and safe, you sat next to him in the back, afraid he might fall if you weren’t there to hold him “should we inform king Ubbe, my lady?” Elizabeth asked “send him a word, let’s get going now” 

The ride was peaceful if it wasn’t for Hvitserk screaming every now and then, and everyone giving you weird looks the minute you stepped down with his hand in yours “well, don’t just stand there! Help the poor women! Trys would you prepare something for Hvitserk to eat? Lorenzo, would you be a dear and prepare him a bath, wash what needs to be washed! Come on! I know it’s barely morning but today is exceptional!” You led the way inside, where Thoman was waiting for your return “my lady” he said respectfully “you remember Hvitserk” you reintroduced “how can I forget the man who rescued me from being sacrificed” he took few steps closer to Hvitserk who clang to your arm like a child would when he’s scared.

“I take it your visit to Kattegat was rather fruitful,” he said sneeringly, you rolled your eyes, even though Thoman’s a mere slave, he had became a good friend of yours in the few months that had passed  “Ubbe threatened me” you exclaimed, holding Hvitserk closer “I hope you answered him wisely, we need no enemies” you shrugged “I reminded him of my role in this kingdom, the provider” it only took few minutes for Lorenzo to come “my lady, the tub is filled and ready to be used” he informed, you nodded “Hvitserk dear, would you be kind and go with Lorenzo? He’ll help you wash” you told him ever so nicely, he shook his head no violently “Hvitserk please, you must clean or else you’ll get sick” you pleaded, but it only made him shake even more “would it be better if I’m the one who helps you instead?” 

The three of you waited for him to decide, and when he finally did, he did it with a simple nod, funny how Hvitserk was suddenly quiet, you’d beg him to stop talking before, he’d joke with the slaves, play with the animals, this place was his happy place yet he can’t seem to stand being in a room with anyone but you “alright then” you smiled a little and led the way to where the tub was, in a separated room, warmer room, Hvitserk eyed the slaves and you knew it must’ve been uncomfortable for him, you knew because you felt your arm being ripped off as one of them tried to help him undress “leave us” you requested, they obeyed.

You stood in front of Hvitserk, and lifted his head up a little “it’s alright, you’re safe with me, I won’t let anyone hurt you I promise” you assured him, taking off his clothes, piece by piece, he seemed rather numb, as sad as you are as glad as you are, you wanted him to remain this calm until you’re done cleaning him, you helped him into the tub which is filled with warm water, he sat down and hugged his legs “things changed, I have ten slaves now, you already met a few, they’re all nice and they teach me about their way, this they call a tub, makes washing easier, it has wheels to be dragged from that door, the water is used several ways, do you like it?” You asked as you leaned down and picked a piece of clothes, washing the dirt from his hair, from his face, you still didn’t get any comment from him.

Next, you cleaned his body, the best you could since he’s hugging himself, you convinced him to let loose of his legs eventually and cleaned that too, blushing when you came across his private area “I need my mushrooms, did you get them to bring some?” He finally asked while you were drying him off, he looked better than earlier now that he’s clean, more like the Hvitserk you once knew “they couldn’t find any, I’ll ask them to buy you some when they visit the town next time” you lied, the truth is, you were cutting him off, whether he liked it or not, but he doesn’t need to know that. 

You led the naked man back to the main room, where the women started blushing and the men looked away, Lorenzo stood there with clean clothes in his hands, you helped Hvitserk to put them on, combed his hair and sent him to sit next to the fireplace while you discussed few things with Thoman.

“Ubbe has his eyes on my land, I warned him I’d rather kill everyone in this farm and burn it before handing it to him, but Ubbe wouldn’t give up easily no, Thoman we need to work our defenses” you whispered to the older man, who had few white strikes on his brownish hair “I see that. I convinced the Thoranssons to sell us part of their land, expanding as we agreed, to plant more seeds and raise animals, also build an archery” he informed you nodded “I don’t mean to be rude but why did you bring him? He’s no good for us, he’s mad” he asked as he glanced at your warrior who was drying by the fire “two reasons Thoman, first one is because he’s my friend and he needs help, he helped us enough back in the day don’t you remember? It’s time we help him back, and second, Ubbe might hate me but he loves his brothers, he gave away his life for them, he wouldn’t hurt us once he knows Hvitserk is here” you replied, then glanced at him, curling to himself “I take it as the prince has no idea of where his brother is staying?” You nodded.

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Tags: (let me know if you want to be tagged for this story) @youbloodymadgenius​ @lol-haha-joke​ @i-am-a-teenage-dirtbaggg​ @moonlightsspirit​ @heavenly1927​ @supernaturalvikingwhore @fuck-i-cant-find-a-name

Images source: stolen from google images.

[krolock-in-the-snowlock]

I watched Broadway’s Dance of the Vampires so you don’t have to

Ever wondered how bad the broadway version actually is? Now’s your chance to find out, my friend...

So about a month ago, I came across a bootleg of the broadway show and, because it was late and I am a Certified Idiot, I decided to watch it and write down my thoughts. Having heard how bad it was, I knew to expect a train wreck, but I had no idea just how much of a train wreck it was going to be until I pressed play and witnessed something that truly cannot be described in words.

I was originally just going to post my whole list of thoughts but it ended up being over 5000 words (many of which were me screaming NO and wHYYY) so I’ve put it in a separate post, so click that link if you want to read it in its entirety!

Instead, I’ve decided to do a (slightly) shorter summary of ‘highlights’, if they can really be called that, with a kind of silly score for each ‘category’. A review, if you will. I’m sure I’ll have missed some things, but this should hopefully at least give you an idea of what exactly they did to poor Tanz der Vampire. Still, I apologise for the length of this in advance - I just had a lot of thoughts, okay?

A quick disclaimer: While I have seen clips of producations of Tanz from various countries, I’ve only seen the whole production once - the Berlin bootleg from somewhere around 2009-11 - so I’ll mostly be comparing with that!

I know the broadway musical is a big taboo subject, so I’m not expecting many, if any, to actually read any of this. But if you ever wondered how bad it was and didn’t want to have to actually watch it, this post is for you!

So, without further ado…

The Characters: -7/10

Let me begin by saying that many of the characters bear almost no resemblance to the originals. The worst case, of course, is with Giovanni von Krolock. A cringeworthy caricature, his awful faux-Italian accent, terrible jokes and horrifying bat form make him the polar opposite of what Krolock is supposed to be. In my notes, I actually referred to him as Giovanni rather than Krolock, because this is not Krolock; where Krolock is mysterious, aloof, powerful, and occasionally slightly sarcastic, Giovanni is silly, makes puns in nearly every line, and commands no respect or fear whatsoever. I resent that I began to ironically enjoy mocking him by the time I’d finished watching it.

Alfred is absurdly confident and confrontational, and narrates everything he writes in his journal (and tbh is probably a closeted bi). Sarah now apparently has friends and is allowed to leave her room. Koukol doesn’t exist, and is replaced by a man that Krolock hypnotises, who sometimes acts like a dog. Herbert is French, ridiculously stereotypical, and there is a very poor attempt from Krolock at pronouncing his name in a French accent. The other characters are fortunately mostly the same as the originals, although not entirely.

The Music: 2.5/10

Oh, the music… how do I begin?

Long story short, it was generally horrible. Multiple songs were cut entirely, and others were mashed together into strange frankensongs. The opening song, for instance, is completely different (and was what immediately made me realise I’d made a terrible mistake in deciding to watch it). The lyrics were mostly not as interesting as the original German lyrics, and often had less syllables, so the songs often felt empty and drawn out.

Many of the songs had slightly different overall meanings/purposes to their German counterparts, and I though that songs like Total Eclipse and Invitation to the Ball were way too sappy and romantic, lacking any of the drama and tension of Totale Finsternis and Einladung zum Ball. Krolock had been so ridiculous the whole time that Die Unstillbare Gier sadly could never have worked, even if the lyrics had been better. The singing itself was actually pretty good from what I remember, which was the only thing that saved the music, but Krolock’s horrible accent ruined many of the songs he was in. There was so much potential for it to be good if they’d just done a faithful adaption…...

I could go on forever about the music (as I do in my full commentary) but that would probably need a whole new post! So instead let’s move on to…

The Costumes: 2/10

Boring. Sarah’s red ball gown is nice enough, but all of the other vampires’ costumes are painfully simple and poorly designed. Krolock lacks a cape for most of the musical (which is a crime), Herbert is dressed in a hideous bright blue coat and an aggressively yellow wig, and the finale costumes are just simple black leather coats. It all lacks any of the detail or, in Herbert’s case, sparkle, of any of the other versions of the costumes that I’ve seen. While I should probably note that this was in 2002, it is still noticeably simpler than other productions of Tanz around the same time. Krolock also lacks his usual makeup, and Herbert’s is just ugly. And Krolock’s top hat in the opening? Why???

The Staging: -5/10

When they aren’t dancing, most of the ‘staging’ is just the characters at opposite sides of the stage facing each other. It doesn’t matter what is supposed to be happening in the scene, or the message of the song; they just... stand there. Occasionally, if you’re lucky, the characters might stand next to each other, but such close proximity is a rare occurrence in Dance of the Vampires, saved mostly for Alfred or Krolock with Sarah or Herbert and, in a strange duet about books, Krolock and Professor Ambronsius.

Krolock does pretty much nothing in Die Unstillbare Gier, and the staging for Einladung zum Ball was very confusing, at least when they weren’t just standing still. Sarah’s bedroom inexplicably becomes a cloudy place with no floor, and it was never quite clear whether the scene was a dream or not. Considering the rest of the musical, either possibility is honestly equally likely. At one point at the start of the first act, Krolock literally rises out of the ground in a huge coffin. I could go on. Also the sponge Krolock gives Sarah is a fraction of the size of the one he gives her in the original, which I like to think is a metaphor for the broadway production itself.

The Sets: 3/10

While not accurate to any other versions at the time or since, a couple of the sets were admittedly quite pretty (though still not quite on Kentaur’s level). However, there was no inn structure for the first act, and some of the sets were quite limited. One of the most popular (and nicest) sets in the second act is a huge stairway covered in a frankly impractical number of candles.

In the finale, despite the characters on multiple occasions declaring that the story takes place in Transylvania in “18something”, the background is for some reason Times Square with all of its neon signs (which I’m pretty sure did most certainly not exist in the 1800s). Whether a huge location change and time skip of a couple hundred years has taken place or whether the directors and set designers finally gave up trying to make the story make sense, I have no idea.

Worst Moments:

I just had to include this section! These are only a few of the worst and/or most bizarre moments I could pick out. I’m sure there’s more that I forgot but here are some (read: quite a few) of my favourites:

Krolock, wearing a top hat, rising from the ground in a giant coffin before saying, “God has left the building”

Krolock appearing as a hideous animated bat thing

Sarah and her friends getting high on mushrooms in the opening

The fact that Sarah’s birthday is on Halloween at midnight during the total eclipse of the moon

Krolock offering Alfred a sponge shaped like a penis then slowly tilting it down when Alfred says no

Ambronsius decorating Sarah’s room in Halloween decorations to scare off Krolock

Krolock genuinely being convinced that Sarah is a literal princess until he visits her room

Krolock and Ambronsius harmonising about books together

The big grey winged gargoyle demons dancing on the bed during Carpe Noctem

Krolock repeatedly dressing in a big grey dress and pretending to be his own mother/wife/who even knows what

Alfred angrily threatening Krolock, followed by Krolock physically attacking Alfred (this happens on more than one occasion)

The nonsense ‘prophecy’ they randomly introduce

“I use my body as a bandage, I use my body as a wound” (and this is instead of “Ich will frei und freier werden, und werde meine Ketten nicht los”) WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Koukol-replacement saying, “Okay, here he is, the man you’ve all been waiting for, his excellency… the Count von Krolock!) and Krolock waving and pointing like a rockstar as he kisses people walking down the stairs to the ball

Krolock dramatically dying on the stairs at the end of the ball for a solid minute

The Good Parts

Surprisingly, there were a few redeeming features!

Firstly, the couple of songs where they kept things very similar to the source material (such as Knoblauch) were actually quite good at times. Unfortunately, this isn’t to say that they were necessarily good, but compared to the less faithful parts they were a nice surprise, even if Knoblauch was never my favourite song from Tanz.

The singing itself was generally pretty good too! I also hate to admit that I did at times find myself laughing a little at the awful jokes.

And... uhh...

...yeah, that’s about it...

Some Highlights From My Notes:

And finally, here are some out of context quotes from my notes that I feel sum up the musical quite well:

It sounds like he’s about to start a really sad rave

I was gonna roast the lyrics some more but I’m gonna be honest I’m not sure what he’s saying

This feels on the same level of what kind of acid trip hallucination parallel universe have I landed in as seeing the Cats film in the cinema

Is this actually Deadpool in disguise with all the fourth wall breaking

Crawford looks like he regrets everything and can I just say Michael so does everybody else

He looks like a potato or a rock or that neutral nicolas cage face that people put on the sequin cushion

This sounds like a poorly written Krolock/reader wattpad fanfic

Giovanni would highkey be like lol arent i so random rawr xd on myspace

He might as well have said, “Itsa me, Mario”

They’re just stood there like two pigeons aimlessly squawking at each other

Alfred is like a chihuahua with small dog syndrome barking at a bigger dog, except Giovanni is barely bigger and is a flea-infested Chinese Crested dressed in a cheap Halloween costume

The throne glides like a magic carpet only it doesn’t leave the ground so I suppose it’s actually more like a chair with wheels, which is much less exciting

He just stands there like a poorly-dressed rock

-22/10 would not listen again

Final Comments:

So, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope that was somewhat informative and/or entertaining for you! It took me weeks to get through the whole musical because I couldn’t stand watching it for too long at a time, and maybe you can see why! Like I said at the start of this monster of a post, there’s probably a lot that I’ve forgotten to mention, so if you’re unfortunate enough to have seen any of this car crash of a musical, feel free to add your thoughts! :D

[medea10]

Medea Plays Pokemon Sword (&Shield): Part VI

Okay, it’s been several months since my last update with Sword & Shield.

Mostly because as soon as you finish the main story and the side-quest with Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Balls, what else is there? Just fill up the Pokedex and have a go at the Battle Tower.

I just took some time to go through the Shield game (since Sword is kinda my main game this time around).

I would just like to say, Allister is the cutest little fella.

Maybe it’s because of the episode of Pokemon Twilight Wings that just aired a few hours ago here, but Allister is such a sweetie.

And of course we have Thick-Chick Mama, Melony.

I knew going through her gym was going to be a pain in the rectum, just like Gordie’s. I was right. Her gym is on par with Wallace’s gym in Ruby & Sapphire.

But thanks to some Youtube videos, I managed to avoid falling through the ice pitfalls.

Sorry, she set me up for this joke.

Then in January, we got a taste of what to look forward to when the Isle of Armor expansion hit.

Like catching the odd-looking Slowpoke and meeting new rivals like Klara and Avery.

And I could tell then and there that Klara was one of those psycho, pink-haired bitches and Avery was Robert’s psychic cousin. Will that theory let up once the expansion hit? Let me think about that while I chow down on some Slowpoke Tail curry.

Itadakimasu!

Then a month passed and we were introduced to Pokemon HOME and Professor Oak’s other relative from some weird timeline where Macho Man Randy Savage and Jiraiya did the fusion dance and merged into the Grand Oak here.

A place where you can transfer all the pokemon you’ve caught throughout the years and STILL not transfer them to Sword and Shield.

And then Animal Crossing came out and we forgot about Pokemon’s existence.

Three months later and here we are!

At your arrival, you get an update to your Pokedex.

Don’t get too excited. We get SOME old pokemon added. Not all. Just some.

It’s nice that pokemon like Poliwag and Bulbasaur aren’t illegal in Galar anymore. But um...Ampharos? Dragonite? FRIGGIN’ BLAZIKEN?!

Whatever, take your time, dudes!

After the upgrade, you are met by Klara (in Sword). In a mistaken identity story line, she mistakes you for some other wank for joining the dojo nearby.

You battle her (or Avery in Shield). You wallop her.

OH, YUP! YUP! Look at that! Crazy bitch alert!

Anyways, this rival will try by any means to keep you away from the dojo by enticing you with a style card (which gives you exclusive hairdos and clothes).

But because I like to move this story along, I’m gonna go to the dojo.

Up yours, skank.

The dojo is headed up by an old fella named Mustard. And you’re met up with Mustard’s dotting wife...

I am not kidding.

His wife is named Honey.

And she’s a MILF.

Like I give a fuck about you, Yuno Gasai-Lite. Sheesh, maybe Avery isn’t this much of a cunt like Klara.

Oh, go shove a bent spoon up your ass, you watered-down looking Alucard, mother fucker.

Oh and if you’re wondering, I actually hate Bede, Sordward and Shielbert more than these two. I just feel like being mean since Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Balls aren’t around for me to poke fun at anymore.

Once inside, you’ll meet the master of the dojo, Mustard. He gives you a uniform and then we get down to the three tasks.

Task one:

Catch three speedy Slowpokes.

They took Avery/Klara’s dojo uniform and it’s up to you to catch them.

Just don’t expect a thank you from the Slutty Succubus of the South.

Task Two:

Find the Max Mushrooms.

These babies are the key to unlocking certain pokemon’s potential in Dynamaxing. So in case you keep getting your ass kicked by these special pokemon at raid dens, here’s your chance at getting the Gigantamax pokemon.

So after going through this twisted forest and nearly going insane by getting lost, I’m not about to have this little tramp steal my findings.

After you beat Klara/Avery in a battle again, you get the Max Mushrooms. But they come back with the mushrooms too and insist on cooking them instead of the ones you found.

For once, you did me a favor. I can use this for my Cinderace.

Task Three:

Fight Klara/Avery.

Now this might be a little tricky. Because at the beginning of the battle, Klara and Avery do something sneaky.

Before you could start, Klara sets up Toxic Spikes, causing immediate poisoning for your pokemon. At least Avery only had mist surrounding the battlefield. This bitch intentionally poisons your pokemon.

Just use a Steel type when going up against Klara.

After these three tasks, you get the secret armor of the dojo.

Kubfu.

You will get a Kubfu from Mustard. But that’s not all folks!

While you’re on the Isle, you are now able to have the first pokemon on your roster walk around with you.

Good that you bond with the Kubfu before you go to the next part. Also, all of those XP candies you earn in Max Raid Dens are going to be your best friend.

Okay, time to do what I love to do in Pokemon games.

FUCK YEAH! MISSY GETS TO TRAVEL BESIDE ME!

Anyways, once you bond with Kubfu and you’re the best of friends and train Kubfu to a decent level, then it’s time to take on the Tower of Water or Tower of Darkness.

You can only choose one. If you choose water, Kubfu will evolve into a part water type. And if you choose darkness, Kubfu will evolve into a part dark type. And the tower you do not choose will be closed off to you forever.

You’ll fight a few trainers with one pokemon each. Suggestion is to have your Kubfu past level 70 and know moves like Aerial Ace, Zen Headbutt, and/or Thunderpunch.

At the top of the tower, you are challenged by Mustard. And once you defeat him, you can evolve Kubfu.

By staring at a wall scroll.

I’ve seen stranger ways of evolving a pokemon. I’ll just sit back and accept it for what it is.

After this part, there’s a baby side-quest you have to go through in order to have this fella take part in the Dynamax process.

Apparently, this pokemon is picky about his food. But some Max Honey will make the Max Mushroom soup taste pleasant.

And that’s when Hau 2.0 comes in! And once again, we go through a three-tasked mission in order to get some Max Honey.

Task One:

Reunite a mother Lilligant with it’s baby Petlil.

Back to that twisted-ass forest again.

Some friendly advice, don’t use your bike to get back to Hop when you find Lilligant. Lilligant will get lost and just go back to where it originally was. Just walk.

Task Two:

Chase an Applin.

Task Three:

Go to the special tree.

Hop will tell you to shake it to get the attention of a Vespiquen.

...

ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE HOP?! It is 2020, the worst year on the record. I am not about to be stung by Pokemon’s answer to the fucking murder hornet. And what do I do next?

I shake it like a Polaroid picture.

So I’ve chosen death.

*snorts*

No you didn’t, Pokemon.

You didn’t do this!

-___-

I can’t EVEN...

Anyways, you’re taken to a Max Raid den and you take out a Vespiquen.

Fuck you Hop. Just fuck you.

Now that those three tasks are taken care of, you can feed your picky pokemon some Max Mushroom Soup. And now you can battle Mustard in a six-on-six.

After winning...

Can I please shove her off a cliff?

I know, I shouldn’t be mean to Klara and Avery. But I am. Klara tried to be a pop sensation and only sold 8 copies of her CD. And Avery is the outcast of his family with the least psychic energy. So maybe I’ll cut them both some slack.

I’m just not over Klara poisoning us at the beginning of the match with absolutely no warning.

And that’s the end of that story line.

But there’s still plenty to do around the Isle of Armor.

Catch pokemon for the updated pokedex.

Catch an actual level 80 wild pokemon!

No joke, friggin’ Wailord is level 80.

Also look out for Sharpedo in the water. They’re so fast that you won’t finish the Jaws music score fast enough before Sharpedo bites you in the ass.

Help this fool find his 151 Digletts.

At least he gives you gift pokemon for your hard work.

Like Alolan Meowth, Alolan Raichu, etc.

Combine four items to get a special item or pokeball.

So this nightmare fuel takes four items and can combine them into a pokeball, a TR, or a special item (depending on which four items you use to combine). And now that Apricorns are back, you can use them to make those special pokeballs you’ve been only able to get one up to this point.

Help the MILF around.

Welcome to the daunting task of getting Watts. Honey will not be fulfilled until she gets her hands on at least 2,000,000+ watts. Yes, I said that. But it’s to help put special things around the dojo like vending machines, a hair stylist, food for the fridge, and other essentials. But then there are other incentives you get for helping Honey out including battling with Honey and getting rare league cards.

Best method of gaining watts, find Digger Pa and Digger Ma. The digging brothers have parents. Pa digs for watts as long as you give him special ores. And Ma finds the ores (as long as her stupid shovel doesn’t crap out).

Now was buying the expansion package to Sword and Shield worth it? I don’t want to be premature in my thoughts since the second part of the expansion package isn’t out yet. So I’ll save it for later. This has been a fun side-story and it’s been able to take my attention away from Animal Crossing for just a little while. I know there will always be special events with Max Raids. I just hope we can add more pokemon from the National Dex when we can go to the Tundra later this year.

But if you’re one of those folks that’s National Dex or bust, maybe wait off on purchasing the package until we get more info about Tundra.

Okay, see you in a few months!