#i was like this with error for a LONG time but its currently gone to silly guy error n mentally destroyed dust

[meimeikyu]

i need to draw a scar chart for my dust so i can do them decently consistently but i have this issue called 'i love giving characters so many scars to a point that i cant actually do them consistently'

[utterlyotterlyx]

In This Shirt

Azriel x Rhys!Sister!Reader

Summary - It had been a distant dream, to reunite with your mate, but you never believed you'd live long enough to experience it.

Warnings - angst, depression, trauma, swearing, fluff,

Like it had happened yesterday, Azriel could remember the moment he had found out that you, his beautiful perfect mate, and the Princess of Velaris, had been trapped Under The Mountain.

It had been Cassian who had told him, he was the only one strong enough to battle against Azriel's fury and be able to walk away from it. His eyes had been brimming with anguish but Azriel already knew, he felt that last rush of love flow through his body like a current before it vanished, leaving him cold and broken.

Cassian didn't even need to utter the words.

Y/N is gone. So is Rhys. They've been taken Under The Mountain. Amarantha has them.

Every day that passed made his world feel heavy, and dark. Azriel had forgotten the sound of your voice one day, and it had tore his heart straight from his chest. He knew that your voice was melodic, he often likened it to that of a sirens song, pretty and serene.

The fight to get to where you were, mated, married, was long and turbulent on its own. Rhys had refused to accept it, he was furious with Azriel for it. You were his youngest sister, the light of his life, and he knew Azriel would never hurt you, he had always doted on you, he never let you do anything by yourself, but your older brother had certainly struggled with the news.

Rhys had gone as far as to ban Azriel from being near you and sent you away to reside in the Day Court for a couple of months, truly believing that the distance would make you both see that a path together was not one to be walked. In actuality, the distance had almost killed you, the land spanning between you and your mate had settled so deep within your soul that you had become very ill.

Never wanting it to go so badly, but always feeling the need to protect you, Rhys saw the error of his ways and brought Azriel to you, and watched as you cried as the colour returned to your cheeks whilst Azriel held you in his arms.

From that moment on, Rhys had been your biggest supporter, and he had cried like a baby when he saw you in your wedding dress, telling you how much your mother and sister would have loved to see you looking so perfect.

The Light of Velaris had vanished that night, you and Rhys had both sacrificed yourself to Amarantha to protect your court, your home, and it was because of that fact alone that Azriel couldn't tear at the foundations of the fortress beneath the mountain to get you out.

It was rare to get a smile out of him, or anything notable really, but Cassian had been the one to find him that evening, when the stars were hurtling across the blank canvas of the night sky, crying on his knees in your shared bedroom. One of your dresses was furled between his fingers, his shadows coiled around the velvet of the skirt, breathing you in and wishing you were there with them, "I can't remember the sound of her voice," his voice was hoarse, like it was the first time he had spoken in years, which it had been, all he emitted were huffs and grunts, but no words.

Cassian had stepped into the room, the room that had become darker since you had left, just like the rest of the family home. Just like Velaris. Shirts and dresses were strewn about the room, some on the floor, some splayed across the bed, as if Azriel had sifted through your closet to find the thing that held the strongest scent of you, of nightfall and starlight, of the faint salted oceans and warm sand.

"Az," Cassian fell to his knees. pulling his brother into his side and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Azriel had let his wings drop to the floor, he didn't bother holding them up anymore. "It's going to be alright. She's strong, they both are, they'll come back. She'd never leave you forever, you have a bargain to fulfil."

Azriel glanced to the bargain inking his forearm, a symphony of shadow and stars, holding one another like lovers in the night.

Then your wings came.

Your beautiful wings of midnight purple, so dark in their hue that many would think they were black, with the thick onyx membrane that Azriel always used to run his fingers along and smirk at your shivers, were gone. Packaged up with a blood red bow and dropped onto the table.

Azriel couldn't think about it. All he could do was pray to the Mother that you had at least been unconscious as they were taken from you. Part of him expected Rhys' to follow, but then the stories came, stories of Amarantha's whore and his ill-tempered sister who fought so hard that she was rid of the only things that gave her identity as punishment.

The wings were drooped at the tips, curling inward from the pain and torture from being away from their mate for so long. Comparing wingspans was something you did often, you were small compared to Azriel, your wings even smaller, but they were incredible things. Azriel could have sworn on countless occasions that he saw them hum with light whenever you were overcome with love.

The fiftieth year of your absence had crept in, and Azriel had forgotten what your lips tasted like, how the felt against his. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to bring you home, to him, where you belonged.

Until someone did.

Loud cries awoke him that night, he sat upright, the shirt you usually wore to bed nestled against his chest, the ever-faint aroma of you clinging to it like the last snow before spring. Frowning, Azriel shifted from the bed. He knew that voice, he knew that low rumbling power, and when he looked out of the window, his heart stopped.

Rhys was on his knees, bundled up into Mor's arms as he cried, but Azriel couldn't listen, he couldn't listen to the pain in his brothers voice, he couldn't stop himself from bursting from the room and running down the staircase.

His mind was blinded by hope and love and the mere possibility that you might have made it back too, "Where is my wife?"

Rhys rose to his feet, looking around the space as if he would find you not standing too far away, and frowning when he saw that you had vanished, "She was just here," Azriel could have crumbled at the words.

She was just here.

You were back. You had come back to him.

Rhys went to speak again but Azriel was already gone, he scoured the house top to bottom, checking every room and hallway, he went to the library, hoping to see you curled up in your spot like you had never left and the last fifty years had been nothing but a putrid nightmare.

Azriel's heart ached, he reached deep within him, deep into a place he couldn't bring himself to graze, and tugged.

Once. Twice.

The gates opened.

Azriel saw the golden thread pour from his chest, he saw it hum like a pulse as it stretched out and slithered around the corner, and his shadows danced outward to meet it, to wrap around the golden threat leading him to you, peering backward as if telling him to go.

Your mate, your husband, followed that thread, he followed it up the staircase and down the halls, breezing past the portraits hanging on the wall until he stood before the closed door of the bedroom. Azriel reached out a hand that was trembling and twisted the doorknob, softly pushing it open to reveal you.

Weight had dropped from you, and your posture was shrouded with fear as it hunched inward, your hugged yourself as your head surveyed the space. Then he saw the scars, the marred flesh poking from the back of the dress that hung from your body, a humiliation to everything you stood for, and his eyes landed on the rings of scarred flesh around your wrists and ankles, some still angry and red and peeling.

What had she done to you?

Shuddering, you turned around, stopping in your tracks at the male in the doorway being kissed by the moonlight pouring in from the thin slits of the curtains.

He was as beautiful as you remembered, hazel eyes that you had dreamt of nightly to allow you to hold onto some hope, the sharp jaw and cheekbones that you imagined your fingers brushing against, his lips that would often call out to you, not like you remembered the sound of his voice.

"Az?"

His breathing hitched and became shaky, you knew he was doing his best to not be overcome with emotion, not when you had every reason to cry and fall apart, "Say it again."

A soft sob broke through your lips at the sound, so low and hoarse, raw, but still teeming with warmth and beauty, of brighter tomorrows.

Say it again.

"Az."

Even in the dark he could see your face crumple and contort, and he rushed to you as you weakly reached for him, not being able to stop the sobs pulling from his chest either.

It was all there. Nightfall. Starlight. Salted oceans. Warm beaches.

Azriel cupped your face in his hands, so delicately, like he was afraid to break you, and tears fell from his eyes. It was you. Glazed orbs of plum peered up at him, your fingers reached to brush his tears away, "Is this some beautiful nightmare?"

Air rushed from his lungs, your eyes were glazed over, almost as if you were in some sort of trance, "No, my angel," his voice was a hush above a whisper, his fingers caressed your cheeks, "This is real."

"I'm home?"

Realisation hit you and your eyes became clear, "You're home."

"I thought I was lost," you placed your hands on his arms, and he watched your tattoo dance in the moonlight, a twin to his own, "I knew I'd find you."

Azriel pulled you in close, he cradled your head against his chest and held you tighter as the weight of the last fifty years crushed you, "My wings," you cried and Azriel's wings pinned themselves backward, dipping themselves from sight, "She took them. How can you love me? How can you see me as anything other than weak?"

Lifting your head to meet his, Azriel's finger trailed the line of your jaw, "You are not weak, my love. Weakness would weep at the mere thought of being associated with you, for they will never get to know what it's like to have courage in the most awful of odds. It would never get to know you, because it is not a part of you and it never will be. I love you, y/n. I have always loved you and always will. I would love you in any form, in any life, in any universe. You are mine. You are my everything. You are the strongest thing I have ever encountered and the most beautiful thing to walk the heavens."

"You would not save your entire court, your family, and your husband, and go through everything you have been through, and lost what you have lost, if you weren't the strongest creature on this planet," Azriel's lips curled downward, uneven breaths fell from his lips, "I forgot the sound of your voice."

In the worst moments of your torture, all you thought of was Azriel and this moment, the moment where it would have all been worth it just to see him healthy and alive, "I forgot yours too."

Azriel sighed, he pressed his forehead against yours and took a moment to just inhale you, to let the ocean breeze pour into his soul and bring him back to life, "Can I hold you?"

Nodding softly, you felt Azriel pull away, he peeled that dress from your body and pulled one of his jumpers over your head. He led you gently over to the bed, placing you down on the side of the mattress which had forgotten the shape of you and pulled you into him.

"I'm sorry for what this has done to you."

It hadn't escaped your eye at all, the curls of onyx under his eyes, the droop of his wings, the worry that clung to him and haunted his every step. It may have been awful Under The Mountain, but you'd never want to be the one waiting for their love to come home. It would destroy you.

Azriel didn't say anything as his fingers raked over your scalp, loosening all the tension in your mind. The scent of cedar and night-kissed mountains flooded you and you nestled into that spot on his chest, reaching behind you to pull his wing over your side and smiling softly at the feeling of it. To have wings.

"I'm home," Azriel just held onto you tighter, moulding your body to the curves of his own, pressing kisses into your hairline and running his fingers through your hair.

Then your breathing fell soft, your eyes had drifted closed, and you looked peaceful, a soft smile lingered on your lips.

Azriel slept better than he ever had that night, knowing that you were back, that you had come home to him, and knowing that no matter where you walked, Azriel would always follow.

Author's Note

I love himmmmmmmm

[joels6string]

dear santa,

i mean, dear kate* 🫣

can i wish a very spicy joel miller story? as if the ones you wrote weren’t spicy and perfect enough… BUT! maybe something like enemies to lovers?

i actually have no idea what i’m asking. you’re the mastermind here. anything joel related, i want it on my desk 😮‍💨🫶

Merry Angst-mas for this one. I swear the other prompts are very lighthearted and happy. Like, Joel ice skating, and modern AU snowstorm hero... don't give up on me 😂

Damned If I Do

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You hate him, he hates you. It's as simple as that, right?

Rating: E

Word Count: 3.1k

Content: Enemies to lovers. The two main food groups: Smut and Sad. Creator has chosen to not give content warnings, read at your own risk.

“You give a shit about me, Miller?” you asked, trying to taunt but only sounding as desperate as he did. Despite his words over the months you’d known him, his actions had certainly always told a different story, one he was trying to keep from pouring free right now. “Tryin’ not to.” “Why’s that?” “Lovin’ me’s a curse.”

The mood was somber, even more so than usual. It was December, the frigid winter air whipping through the Boston quarantine zone, the dilapidated building you were currently holed up in doing little to keep you from its stinging bite.

“You gonna be a god damn liability again this time?” The voice made your skin crawl.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” you grumbled under your breath, it was no use arguing with him.

Tess had gone ahead to negotiate the terms of your impending deal, leaving you and Joel to wait for the upcoming weapons haul pickup that had been looming over your head for days. You’d chosen Christmas Eve in hopes that the military personnel surrounding every wall of the zone would be scarce, on holiday leave, doing something other than their damn worthless jobs for once. Not that there was shit to celebrate anyway.

“I asked you a question,” he barked in response to your muttering, his face severe when you dared a peek at it.

“I don’t know, Miller,” you sneered, “Just let them take me out this time and put us both out of our fucking misery, huh?”

“I’d never hear the end of it.”

Tess would give him an earful. Sometimes you thought the threat of Tess’ wrath was the only thing keeping you alive, this was doing enough to prove that to be true. When the woman in question returned to you and him on opposite sides of the room facing your respective walls, she sternly reminded you both that lives were on the line. Now wasn’t the time for bickering and your heads belonged in the game, not your asses. You both begrudgingly agreed.

When it came down to it, it was your turn to put a bullet between the eyes of someone that had Joel by the throat long enough to make his vision blacken at the fringe, the ice beneath his cheek brutal and sharp as he fell to the ground with a huff.

“You’re welcome,” you snapped, stepping over his gasping body without so much as a glance down, his furious snarl still audible over the winds.

It had been a setup, of course, hunters almost picking the three of you off when you got to the abandoned drop zone.

“Thought you negotiated this shit, Tess!?” Joel barked, throwing his bloodied baseball bat onto the ground with a heavy thud, “We come out here just for a quick shoot out and frostbite or you got somethin’ else up those sleeves of yours?”

“I thought it was sound!” she snapped back, guilt heavy in her voice as she accepted her error in ways Joel could never.

“Yeah, Merry fuckin’ Christmas–”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Joel,” you interjected, exasperated, cold, and perturbed beyond a reasonable limit, “You wouldn’t have done any fucking better–”

“I would have made damn sure I wasn’t bringin’ either of you to a god damn ambush! That’s what I woulda done!”

“Well, you were a great help tonight–”

Your words were cut short by a hand clamping over your mouth, the frozen sharp tip of a knife knicking into the soft skin of your throat. The ice scattered throughout the cracked pavement made it impossible to get your footing as you were dragged backward, your heart pounding as you watched Joel’s eyes widen in panic, his revolver drawn and aimed, his gaze begging for a clear shot. Looks like he’d get his Christmas wish after all.

There was no use in fighting it, if anything having the warmth of a body pressed behind you would have you one less step from miserable as you took your last breaths. You hoped he made it quick, you weren’t in the damn mood for games or semantics. Joel wouldn’t trade a dirty sock for your life, but that look in his eyes before you were pulled from his sight had certainly been unexpected. 

He and Tess had probably run off, who knew who else was coming, this man couldn’t be alone. They were smart to do so. Ammo was running low, stamina even lower, and even at their best, they couldn’t take out another squadron of hunters. You’d made it 15 years in this God-forsaken world, it was a lot more than most could boast. Somehow dying at the filthy hands of this human felt worse than getting infected, at least those monsters didn’t know any better.

Even through the thick canvas of your jacket, you felt the burn of the pavement scraping your elbows, your hiss of discomfort pulling a sneering smile.

“Don’t move,” he ordered, and you curled your lip as your eyes rolled, Joel's voice echoing in your head, ‘Don’t gimme that sass.”

Had it been an hour? Maybe two? You couldn’t tell. The darkness was unforgiving and unwavering, the cold setting into your bones as you shivered knees to your chest in an attempt to preserve your body heat. You’d be dead by morning from hypothermia alone. Gunshots rang out, screams and cries, yelps, glass shattering. What the fuck? What kind of hell zone was this? Crawling to peer around the old metal shipping container you’d been stashed in, your curious gaze was met with the sight of Joel Miller bashing at your captor’s head with a brick, blood splattered across his face, eyes alight with rage. 

“Joel…” you gasped through numbed lips, you’d never been happier to see that sour face in your life, his expression softening as the man in his grasp fell to the ground in a gory heap.

“There you are,” you sighed, “Let’s go. Can you walk?”

His heavy coat he’d slipped over your shoulders swallowed you whole as you led you through the still hunter-infested maze. Ducking behind crates and in abandoned buildings, he had the exact route mapped to have you free and clear within minutes, the walls of Boston greeting you just as the feeling had returned to the tips of your toes. He was silent on the route back, his eyes flicking over his shoulder to ensure you were safely behind him periodically, the sphere emanating from your flashlight highlighting the silver hairs streaking through the black on the back of his head. 

“Stop,” he instructed, tanks driving by as a new congregation of troops gathered right outside the final building that led to safety, “Shit. This might be as far as we get til dawn.”

“Great,” you scoffed.

“Let’s go up, keep eyes on ‘em.”

With enemies so close, a fire was out of the question, your chattering teeth and tensed muscles hard to ignore as you stared at the hulking form staring out the shattered window.

“Joel…” you finally sounded, his head ticking towards you the only acknowledgment you received, “Why’d you come back?”

“If anyone’s gonna kill ya, it’s gonna be me,” he teased, a puff of breath glowing in the moonlight leaking in around him, “and now we’re even.”

“We’re even…”

Of course it was about evening the score. You’d saved his life, he’d saved yours, though you were almost positive you were still deep in his debt. It wasn’t often Joel needed a helping hand. He was as formidable as he was cold, that stony expression rarely breaking. Except it had, tonight. You hadn’t forgotten.

“Joel…” you called again, his body turning now to face you pathetically shivering in the corner. You hoped he didn’t make you ask, it was already mortifying insinuating it.

“I got you,” he cooed, leaving his post and gesturing for you to lean forward as he approached, nestling in behind you, legs on either side caging you in, his arms wrapping around your middle as you nestled back against him.

Even in nothing but a worn-out flannel, he was warm, your sigh of relief drawing a muted chuckle from his chest as you melted in his hold. Bygones could be bygones, the chill you swore would be permanent dissipating with each deep breath you were now able to take. It had been years since you’d been this close to another human in a non-threatening manner, the first time someone cradled you against them, allowing you a moment of solace and safety. You’d never expected to find that safety here, in these arms.

“You can sleep,” he permitted, your body immediately accepting the offer and drifting off, your head lolling beneath his chin as his thick beard caught on your hair.

Gray light filled the dingy room as your eyes fluttered open. You were sweating now, your neck straining beneath a heavy weight settled on your head, heavy breaths echoing in your ear. Joel. He was asleep behind you, his cheek resting on you from where you’d spent your night pressed into him, his arms still tightly wrapped around you even passed out cold. At the first twitch of your head, he was rousing, grunting as he became alert once again.

Shifting enough to peer up at him, you watched his hazel eyes wake in the eerie glow of dawn before they locked with yours, the stone chipped away just enough to reveal a glimmer of vulnerability.

“Why you lookin’ at me like that?” he asked softly, keeping the proximity you’d woken in instead of pulling away like you’d expected him to.

All you could muster was a shrug, his plush lips too close for you to concentrate.

“I can’t do this…” he whimpered, his tone stabbing you right in the chest, “Stop making me give a shit about you.”

“You give a shit about me, Miller?” you asked, trying to taunt but only sounding as desperate as he did. Despite his words over the months you’d known him, his actions had certainly always told a different story, one he was trying to keep from pouring free right now.

“Tryin’ not to.”

“Why’s that?”

“Lovin’ me’s a curse.”

That didn’t matter. You’d danced with the devil already, what was one more tango? His hair was softer than you thought it would be when your fingers weaved into the strands on the back of his head, pulling his lips to yours in a daring risk of affection. You weren’t sure what shocked you more, your bravery or the fact that he greedily accepted your kiss, one large palm splaying across your stomach that was currently churning with something you hadn’t felt in over a decade.

It was all teeth and pressure, tongues wrestling as you tugged him closer by the hold on his hair, his body turning to face yours and press you down onto the cold wood of the floor, one hand cupping the back of your head to save it from the splintering surface. Your hands started on his belt first, your mouths still devouring the other as months of pent-up tension and hidden desires spilled over, your lungs selfishly inhaling his carnal groan as you gripped his cock as it sprang free and dragged your fist along his impressive length. Control was forgotten as you leaned up and captured his bottom lip again, his mind unable to focus on both your mouth and your hand as you continued to tug, his reciprocating kiss always slightly too late as his hips began to rock into your hold.  

“Turn,” he commanded, his voice giving no room for objection, “S’too cold for any other way.”

As much as you wanted to argue, he was right. You obeyed, presenting yourself to him on all fours before your jeans were pulled just past the swell of your ass, his hands squeezing at your searing globes voraciously. You wished you could see his face. Slick fingers swiped over your pulsing hole, swirling spit around to ease his plunge into your waiting depths. You were quivering with anticipation, a stark contrast from last night as every inch of you burned now even in the subzero December temperatures. 

Even if you wanted to stop it, you wouldn’t have been able to contain the lewd cry that erupted as you stretched around him. The feeling of his shaft slowly slipping inside of you made you realize just how soaked you were, his path unhindered on its way into the deepest parts of your body. You knew he could feel it, too, his hands shaking where they held you in place around your waist, breaths audibly ragged as he bottomed out.

“Shush now, darlin’,” he soothed, once again stroking over the plushness of your hips, “I can’t kill a man in this state.”

If that was intended to calm you down, he’d failed. Your cunt clenched around him so tightly he chuckled gruffly, pulling out and snapping his hips back against your ass just hard enough to have you jerking forward and keening, your teeth sinking into the sleeve of his jacket still loosely hanging on your much smaller frame. It didn’t take long for his pace to regulate, hard and fast just as you expected him to be, your arousal leaking down your inner thighs as he pinpointed the velvety patch decorating your inner wall, his precision just as accurate as he was with a rifle.

The limitations were agonizing. You wanted more. You wanted to marvel at the way his lips were parted and the hazel of his eyes swallowed by blackened lust, grip his chest and his neck, swallow his muted whines, and whisper how fucking good he felt into the soft, scarred skin of his neck. Pressure was building immeasurably quick, his rough fingers now rubbing circles over your clit leaving you nothing but a boneless heap in his hands. He was holding you upright now, your body limp for him to use as he saw fit, but the only thing he chased was your release.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he urged, “just let it go for me.”

Who were you to deny him anything? You clamped down around him as the elastic band in your belly finally snapped, shockwaves electrifying every nerve from the tips of your toes to the top of your skull, your eyes rolling back in your head as you chanted his name like a prayer. He followed not long after, pulling out with a roar and emptying onto an old rag he’d grabbed from the floor, his chest heaving as he moaned in relief. You wanted to scramble over to him, kiss his cheek, temple, eye, forehead, anything you could reach as he finished in the absence of your warmth, but you were too spent, too delirious, too thoroughly fucked to move quickly enough.

“Joel…” you whimpered, searching for him in the still-dim space, your hand reaching up and waiting for his fingers to intertwine with, “Joel…”

“I’m right here,” he answered as he gave you what you were searching for, his lips pressing to the back of your palm as he pulled you back into his chest, “We need to go. Tess’ll be worried.”

When you returned, you didn’t need to tell Tess what had transpired, she could tell. But even with her deduced knowledge, she kept her lips sealed. Maybe she knew Joel would tuck and run the moment he was caught, or that he’d recognize what a liability this was in a world such as this. A liability he’d come to terms with faster than he would have liked.

Two months later as February began to slide into March, a hoard of infected was an unexpected addition to your supply run. It was just you and him, it was meant to be simple, and it was, or so he thought.

“Let’s go,” he panted, “More’ll come. We can go another day without.”

“Joel…” you mewled, tears welling in your eyes as he continued to scout the area, “Joel!”

“What? Sweetheart, we gotta go.”

“You gotta go.”

“What the hell are you talk–”

Part of you wished you’d never told him. That you’d run off into the woods and let the last image you had of him be with his revolver in one hand and a machete in the other, doing what he did best with his brute strength and unmatched finesse. Because now, now you’d die with the snapshot of his horror-stricken face staring down at your outstretched palm, frozen, in denial, and forlorn.

“The hell is that?” he asked as if you’d have another explanation.

“You know what it is,” you replied, swallowing your own sorrow, he needed you to be strong now. 

“No. No. No, that’s…that’s somethin’ else.”

“Stop–”

“Tell me it’s somethin’ else.”

“Joel, please!”

The way he muttered Jesus fucking Christ under his breath as he turned was the final swing on your shattering resolve, a hand dragging down his face as the other dropped to his hip, his blade plummeting to the pavement with a shrill clang as he let it fall from his grip. You stood still as a statue, watching him come to terms with those teeth marks pierced into the hand that had cupped his jaw so tenderly this morning as he’d kissed you awake. 

“I warned you,” he finally said, turning to reveal his soaked cheeks and reddening eyes, “I told you I was a curse.”

“That really what you want to talk about right now?” you pressed, your chest burning as you fought the sobs clawing to get free. 

“What do you want me to do?”

Your final wish. It wasn’t hard to decipher what he meant, one of you had to do it. 

“I can do it,” you assured, puffing your chest out in a masquerade of bravery and strength, he could see right through it, his brow furrowing as he shook his head.

“No you can’t,” he resigned after clearing his throat and repressing the rage and grief already surging through him, pulling his pistol from the back of his waistband, “Lay down, I can’t watch you fall.”

“Joel, I can–”

“Just…do it.”

The grass was cool against your cheek, its soft caresses weren’t the worst things to feel with your final breaths. Your tears decorated the blades like the dew drops not due for another few months, your heart thudding between your chest and the ground, Joel’s footsteps somehow in tune with every slam of it against your sternum. 

Where you expected the muzzle of a pistol, you felt his large palm stroking gently over the back of your head, his lips pressing to your hair one last time and lingering as the wound on your hand pulsed like a warning beacon. You knew you still had time, but the urgency had begun to eat you alive with every dragging second.

“Get on with it, Miller,” you pushed, refusing to give him your eyes, he’d hesitate. You knew that. “Waiting won’t make it any easier.”

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, he was crying again, “I’m sorry…” and that was the last thing you heard before the click of a trigger.

Joel Miller Masterlist

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 6 - Tov’s Log

Vermillion vs. Aurien - ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR

————————————————————

Solei had been the sun to Aurien’s moon for as long as Tov could remember.

Their light illuminated every fiber of Aurien’s being. She shined because they shined.

But after Solei disappeared, after Aurien’s daylight gave way to endless night, she let the darkness swallow her whole too.

She was never quite the same.

Even the way she sang was different.

It was haunting.

To the audience, it probably sounded beautiful.

But Tov knew the ghost behind Aurien’s voice was real.

Vermillion sounded haunted too, though in a slightly different way.

His ever present charm had melted away, raw emotion flooding his voice as he sang.

Tov knew right away that this round would be close. Aurien would have to give everything and then some to avoid a repeat of Round 3.

She couldn’t watch another friend die.

She couldn’t.

But Vermillion was Aurien’s friend too, right? Tov didn’t know if Aurien would ever betray a friend in the way that was necessary to win.

She ground her teeth.

The song finished, and the scoreboard totaled the points.

Vermillion 54. Aurien 46.

Her heart thudded once, hard enough to bruise. She stopped breathing altogether.

The moon would crash to the planet’s surface, and the tide would rise wild to meet it.

Tov thought of Solei. For the first time since they disappeared, she hoped they were dead.

If only so Aurien could reunite with them sooner.

“Vermillion Win” was projected in big letters on the scoreboard.

Then the screen went black.

“What the—”

A gun fired.

An emergency alarm started blaring.

Then the audio cut out too.

No! Aurien!

Something fast and sharp shot through Tov’s system, seizing her still weakened heart in its brutal grasp.

It wasn’t adrenaline, she knew that chemical reaction well.

No, this was something different. This was something worse.

Cassio, her mind screamed, I need to call Cassio now.

Tov fumbled for the phone and punched in her guardian’s number with a bit more force than necessary.

She held her breath as the line rang.

As soon as Cassio picked, Tov was assaulted by the panicked cacophony in the background.

Aliens were screaming, guards were shouting orders that fell of deaf ears, and that damn alarm was still wailing too loud to think.

“Tov?”

“Cassio.” Tov never thought she’d be relieved to hear their voice. “The broadcast lost the video feed and then there was a gunshot. Is everything alright?”

“Alright” definitely wasn’t the right word to describe the lead up to Aurien’s execution, but she couldn’t think of anything else.

“Everything’s gone to shit.” They hissed. “Someone cut the power to the whole complex and triggered the emergency alarms. There’s a stampede of aliens trying to get out of here and I’m currently stuck in the middle of it. We’re all trying to get to the backstage tunnels now.”

Tov’s mind was spinning. Was there an attack on Alien Stage? If so, what — or who — were they after? The judges? The audience? The contestants?

Himei and Tallis were still there.

What if something happened to them?

What if something already had?

She would have no idea until the lights came back on and someone sorted through the carnage.

Tov’s medical band beeped.

“This place is swarming with AREPH agents.” Cassio muttered, yanking Tov out of her spiraling thoughts.

AREPH. The Agency for the Recovery of Escaped Pet Humans.

Tov remembered a few AREPH agents showing up at Anakt Garden the morning after Solei disappeared.

The agent who interviewed her wore a silver badge with the agency’s seal. She could still recall what it looked like; how it gleamed when it caught the light.

Tov frowned.

Why would AREPH agents be there?

“Oh fuck—” Cassio’s voice shook.

“What? What is it Cassio?”

Their tone turned grave, “Tov, I need you to listen to me very carefully. I’m only going to say this once, and then I’m going to hang up.”

“What’s going on—”

“JUST LISTEN TO ME TOV!!”

Tov recoiled from the receiver. Cassio had never so much as raised their voice at her before. Her medical band beeped again.

They took a deep breath to compose themselves, then spoke in a very deliberate and deathly even voice, “Lock the doors. Turn off all of the lights in the house. Draw the blinds.” They instructed. “Don’t make any noise. Don’t pick up the phone. And don’t answer the door for anyone. Stay put until I get back.”

Tov finally had a name for the emotion that had a vice grip on her heart.

Fear.

She’d felt it so infrequently in her life that it was hard to identify amidst the chaos. But she felt it now.

Strong. Overwhelming. Terrifying.

A chill ran down her spine. Ice surged through her veins. She couldn’t move.

“Why?” Tov could barely get the words out. “Why do I have to do all of this?”

Cassio took pity on her.

“It’s about Solei. They’re here.”

And the line went dead.

————————————————————

Round 6, amirite?? <- (is definitely failing to cope)

Shit got real this round. Lots of chaos. Lots of blood. Lots of thoughts and feelings. Honestly I’m still processing most of it.

It’s a good thing Tov stayed home for this round too because the ensuing panic probably would’ve given her a heart attack (not joking btw).

If you’re wondering how Cassio knew it was Solei at the competition, they passed by a monitor backstage that had the emergency message from this post flashing on it and recognized Solei’s ID number.

They tell Tov to act like she’s not home because AREPH agents could come looking for her since she is thought to be withholding information about Solei’s Anakt Garden escape.

Aurien belongs to @aurienneirua and Solei belongs to @solei-eclipse.

Himei, Tallis, and the Agency for the Recovery of Escaped Pet Humans (AREPH) belong to @lookatmysillies!

[e-icreator23]

Ok, So this is a post about the Possessed Struggles AU

Yes it is inspired by other games, shows, and the GB (Gaster Blaster AU)

LONG POST!!

Context:

An unknown person had become aware of the multiverse through a vision and wanted power for themselves. Due to this, they looked around to gain control of someone or some people and then found a "small book with a broken crescent moon and sun on it." After reading what was in it, they decided to use it on one of the Guardians. They found loopholes when portals opened into other multiverse and once they saw a pattern, they used it to their advantage. Dream had been walking with Cross and Moon when they used a spell, The Possession. Shortly after, Error, Ink, and Nightmare were sent threatening messages and they met up in a graveyard like the message said. Once they were there, a burst of green light came from underground and the person was there. But the thing that caught them off guard was Dream, Cross, and Moon were there but no longer looked like they used to. They were corrupted, and their clothes were in a darker, more menacing style. They fought shortly after they refused to submit to them. The person lost and The Possession was calmed down in the three, however, that caused it to split itself into unknown amounts and possess random aus.

Aftermath:

After the fight, the three passed out and stayed like that for a few days. One of them disappeared, Moon, but a few things of his were left. Ink took Cross, Error went back to the Anti-Void but was now more paranoid, and Nightmare took Dream. After 4 days, they woke up but their appearances did change. They got bigger, something black was constantly leaking from eyes and mouths. Dark bags were under their eye sockets but they were to their main color. Dream is more yellow/gold, Cross is purple, etc. They helped them out during the day but at night, horrible pains would take over around 8:30. 3 days after waking up, the pains came worse and the animals mixed with other animals or things showed and slowly, their bodies contorted to become what the mark was. They realized that the Possession wasn't gone and it won't be gone for a long time. This has its issues because it can happen at random sometimes. Other things relating to the book summoned other things around the multiverse and became enemies.

How the Possession works:

The possessions are usually vengeful entities that want to cause harm but need a main host/leader. Once they have a leader, they listen to them but are more reluctant to people who want to do good unless they like the leader or ones they personally like.

If they don't have a leader or host, they quickly try to look for one, and the ones they are most attracted to are ones with previous trauma or ones that they deem too innocent or kind to corrupt.

Quick note: There are others like I have said before, Nightmare, Ink, and Error are some of the more key players, the possessed one's siblings also try to help out with them but sometimes create conflict with them.

He was the main target to get possessed/controlled. There are percentages to how possessed someone can be and he is around

Possessed: 80%-89%.

OG Height: 5'5 (167 cm)

Current Height: 5'9 (179 cm)

Peronsality: Still kind, helpful to certain people, more paranoid, can't hide his feelings/lie, less talkitive to random people.

Weapons: Bow and arrow, Double bladed dagges, golden clawed rings, alternate form, magic.

Powers: stronger magic, Speed, light magic/light manipulation

He happened to be with Dream when he was attacked. After, he was more relutctent to be around Ink for perosnal reasons but bore with it.

Possessed: 75%

OG height: 5'7 (173 cm)

Current Height: 5'11 (180 cm)

Personality: Distant with certain people, active, constant training, only around certain people, caring, a bit absent minded

Weapons: Huge blade, Steel Claws, Double Daggers, small chain whips, Blasters and bones

Powers: Nightvision, Strenght, healing magic improved/slight regeneration

He was one of the first to be found out to have been possessed. He didnt realize until his brother pointed out his appearance. Nightmare found out about him like this when he became scared of himself

Possessed: 58%

OG Height: 5'3 (161 cm)

Current Height: 5'7 (173 cm)

Personality: Absent minded, chill, slightly paranoid, curious about learning more, slightly lazy

Weapons: Blasters and bones, two daggers, claws

Powers: Floating, telekinesis stronger, far sight, slight speed

He was found out when he started acting off, like getting even more hungry and the massive height change. Nightmare confronted him and he was honest with it.

Possessed: 84%

OG heightt: 5'8 (176 cm)

Current Height: 6'3 (192 cm)

Personality: Usually calm, massively hungry, stern with strangers, helpful to ones he cares about, angrerd more easily than before, more harsh on criticism

Weapon: Bones and Blasters, Corrupted Axe, claws, bitting, scycles, alternate form

Powers: masssive strength, x-ray vision, retractable claws and teeth, blood control, massive eating/endless eating without gaining anything

(yes its not like the others)

He was found out when he was wondering around in the city and Killer saw him slighly turing.

Possessed: 86%

OG height: 5'10 (177 cm)

Current Height: 6'7 (207 cm)

Personality: Rude to random people, angered easily, drinks often, smokes often, blunt, slightly helpful

Weapons: Bones and blasters, Claws, bitting, needles and syringes, guns, alternate form, massive corrupted axe

Powers: massive strength, retractable claws, hypnotic eyes, blood boosts, slight shadow manipulation

He was found later on around the river by Dream. He had been there since he was freaked out but the pains and noticed Dream had the same leaky eyes and mouth.

Possessed: 58%

OG Height: 5'6 (170 cm)

Current Height: 5'10 (177 cm)

Personality: quiet, not trusting, anxious, panics often, stays to himself

Weapons: bones and blasters, fur spikes, throwing knives, flash bombs

Powers: water maniplation, emotional manipulation, water breathing, speed

His brother got freaked out after he came back home and noticed his eyes right off the bat. He asked around and thats how Nightmare found out

Possessed: 73%

OG Height: 6'4 (195 cm)

Current Height: 6'8 (207 cm)

Personality: Laid back, tired all time, Constant smoking, Figity, suspicious of people easily

Weapons: bones and Blasters, bitting, corrupted scycle

Powers: smoke density, poison smoke, never ending cigarette, retractable fangs

He woke up seeing something leaking out of his eyes and panicked and told his brother. They bumped into Horror and he noticed it and told them.

Possessed: 80%

OG height: 6'2 (188 cm)

Current Height: 6'6 (201 cm)

Personality: Skittish, quiet, very anxious, scared easily,panics easily, incredibly angry at people who insult his brother

Weapons: bones and blasters, claws, sudden spikes from back, guns, throwing stars

Powers: sonic screams, exploding spikes, infinte storage, invisibility

He went to Ink after seeing his clothes and vision was different from before. Ink quickly notified the others. So are he is the last one to be know as possessed

Possessed: 83%

OG heights: 6'0 (182 cm)

Current height: 6'5 (198 cm)

Personality: still acts dumb, paranoid, gets quiet randomly, will become threatening randomly

Weapons: bones and blasters, smoke bombs, parsite tentcles, small throwing spikes

Powers: parsite growth, scarf like tentcles, night vision, metal manipulation, illusions

I might add more but when I do, I'll update it so yee

[quitealotofsodapop]

Double anon answer cus similar ideas.

I can imagine that the immediate reaction from the Red Sons, is to cast fireball at the "imposter" DBK just in case its SWK playing a really complicated prank (he did turn himself into DBK in Jttw).

After a lightning round Q&A - including the infamous "When was the exact hour Red Son was born?", both families determine that they are in fact alternate versions of one another.

Princess Iron Fan is the first to notice something very off about her Au self.

Canon!PIF: "You look... exhausted." Au!PIF, smiling excitedly: "I am!" Canon! Ironbull, like a psychic lightbulb moment: *simultaneous gasp!!!* Canon!DBK, uber hyped-up: "LET US SEE THE CHILD!" *cue both pairs of the Ironbull parents charging off towards the Demon Bull palace's nursery*

The Second Son/"Black Boy"/Huoshan is about to have a bunch of confusing wake-up kisses.

The spicynoodles reaction to one another depends on whether or not spicynoodles has already occurred in the canon verse. Otherwise, if we're strictly canon; then this the first time Canon Red and MK have considered eachother anything but shaky powerful allies.

Canon!Red, at seeing their parents run off: "What was that about?" Au!Red: "Probably about my little brother Huoshan. He was a long time coming." Canon!Red, trying to hide his own excitement: "A baby brother!? How dare you not be overjoyed on our parents behalf!" Au!Red: "Normally I'd be running off with them too, but I too am exhausted. The twins have been running me ragged." Canon!Red, blue-screen-error: "wut?" (°∀°) Au!Red, too tired to wonder what the issue is: "Yeah the girls have been keeping Me and MK up at all hours. Monkey plus bull genes equals loud chirping calves." Canon!Red, blush covering face: "..." Au!Red: "Of course there was the whole debacle with Uncle True Compliant sabotaging mother and father's plans for more children, and trying to kill MK. That really stressed the situation." Canon!Red, hair starts steaming: "....!?!" Au!Red: "And thank buddha that jiā gōng [father-in-law] gave mother that vase from Guanyin. Would have never gotten rid of that curse from grandmother otherwise." Canon!Red, mouth agape: "!!!!!!" *making sound of a boiling kettle* Au!Red: "Thankfully me and my sunflower get a lot of help from-" *notices the look on Canon!Red's face* "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost." Canon!Red: *hair flooms up like a pink wildfire* Au!Red, realizing: "AH. You uh... haven't gotten to those parts yet I bet?" Canon!Red: *nods head slowly* *the two MKs walk into the room* Canon!MK: "Hey Red Sons! Other me was just showing me the baby bull photos! The twin girls are super cute! Are they this Red's sisters or-" Canon!Red, flames growing higher: "AAAAaaaaaa...!" Au!MK, looking disappointed at his Red: "You told him the twins were ours, didn't you?" Canon!MK, interrupting before Au!Red can reply: "THEY ARE!?! OH MY BUDDHA! No wonder they have little monkey face patterns!" *starts squeeing loudly* *Canon spicynoodles are both screaming, and theres now a large fire in the Demon Bull palace entrance hall* Au! Spicynoodles: "Could have gone worse, right?" "I mean, the Nezhas had a little more flames."

The Canon MK & Red are in near shock for the rest of the visit, and refusing to meet eachothers gaze. Mostly cus they keep getting reminded by the Au!DBK about his "PERFECT GRANDDAUGHTERS!" (currently being babysat by their other grandparents), and by the baby photos plastered almost everywhere. A small fight does break out between the Bull Families at supertime though.

Canon!DBK: "So did your son release you from under the mountain as well?" Au!DBK, spoon-feeding little Huoshan: "Yes, in a sense. My body was trapped under the mountain for sometime until my Red and the little thief lifted the staff. Canon!DBK: "Ah. Much the same." Au!DBK: "Ingenious how he was able to contact me in the astral plane in the meantime though. Brother Pigsy and Sandy really helped Red bring out the best in himself." Canon!DBK: "...excuse me? The swine and the boatman!?" Au!PIF: "You seem shocked. We've known Chef Zhu and Sandy almost ever since I brought Red home from the Southern Ocean. Save for the whole, underworld and the staff fiasco, we've been nothing but amicable." Canon!PIF: "The Southern Ocean? But I brought Red Son home with me over... how long has your Bull been out of the mountain?" Au!PIF: "Physically? Only a few years. It's a bit of a long story. His physical body couldn't be released with the staff still in the mountain, but my genius little boy honed his mediatation skill enough so we could at least have some family time in the astral plane." Canon Ironbull: "...what." "WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT!?" Canon!Red: "Hey! I don't know if I can do that! This is an entirely different universe father!" Canon!MK: "Yeah! And at least thank him for making the gauntlet in the first place. If he never made that, you would probably still be a bull skull underground." Canon!DBK: "Not another word little thief. I am still wondering why you and your simian counterpart are even here." Au!MK, already peeved at Canon!Ironbull: "Cus me and my Red are married!" *Table is quiet, esp on the Canon end* Canon!Ironbull: "What." Au!MK, realises that he shouldn't have said that: "Hehehe, yeah... married. Where do you think the twins came from? Hehe" *nervous laughter* Canon!Ironbull: "..." Canon!DBK, turns seriously to his Red: "Son... WHY HAVEN'T YOU MARRIED THE LITTLE THIEF AND GIVEN US PERFECT GRANDCALVES?!" Canon!Red, hair flooming up blush-pink: "Father! You just don't say that!!!"

So yeah, most of the Canon and Au crossover is Canon Ironbull getting dunked on + Canon Red Son dying of embarassment at learning that the Noodle Boy becomes his Noddle Boy in marriage in the alternate timeline. Canon PIF & DBK might have reservations on Red being with MK, but the thought of beautiful grandkids (and Red's confirmations that there's hope for more Ironbull children) really makes a compelling argument.

[melloianv2]

Genovese (Fake Peppino)

Go ahead look over to Dr Abe's Laboratory post if new or need refresher: link

and this

Guess am back with Dr Abe's laboratory

Wait a minute..., a new logo? why its pink? Well...this is afterlab. Am going to talk about it if I have to time too.

But in a short description: events that happened after the laboratory is destroyed. Its pink because it something to do with Abette. So this only content that only happens after the lab is gone, reduced to atoms.

Btw I named it Abe's Afterlab instead of Dr Abe's Afterlab, which I have done deliberately.

I'll still talk about the regular Dr Abe's Lab since am not finish obviously lol.

Back then...

(he can mimic others voices though, that is a way of talking...)

(i didn't mentioned he's 1 and play with toys because i wanted to look very cool back then /hj)

Back to afterlab:

There's two sections of Genovese, Sweet and Cruel.

We going talk about Sweet first since its the longest so..

Sweet

(It moves like hair though, weird. Due to error with his chromosome, he ended up have a limb hair instead of hair strings...)

(the hair string can move. But can he feel things like his arms? depends. He only use his hair string limb if he needed too.)

Origins

(it influence from other people and how he became himself.)

(btw am not going explain the actual event until the real post of afterlab comes sorry)

just sneaking this post here

Relations

(Genovese loves Peppino because he made in way to loves who ever he's loyal too.)

(Peppino had a hard to caring about Genovese, since he thought it weird to care about your own clone..)

(he is scared of him too btw, only when he's not in his dr abe persona...[we'll talk about that if i can])

Back to Sweet

(why did i make genovese 5 year old? because I can)

(jokes aside, because Dr Abe just got Peppino's DNA before he kidnapped him. So which is why he's quite young.)

(another flaw is he's native but he's not stupid. However he's not native to violence, swearing, drugs, alcohol, weapons like...at all (and cannib-) . He knows that stuff very well.)

Anyway now we at Cruel, its very short

Cruel

l

Extra

Genovese more likely insult someone if he's annoyed

Genovese's current clothing is actual clothing, and not something he shapeshifted in. Simply to blend in of course.

Genovese can fly when he shapeshifts something that is able to make him fly, however he gets tired very fast doing so.

Genovese used to not have an cruel side. back in 2021 during this au was developing.., he used to be fully pacifist and kindhearted. This was changed because due to nowadays. I decided to make him more half good now. Though, i think it fits better being half because I think it be better for him to struggle trying to be good (after being brainwashed for so long) instead of already being good.

Despite trying to be different from Peppino, He still have an habit of copying off what Peppino's wearing sometimes.

When Genovese doesn't want to play, he watch something on tv instead

Genovese is not allowed to use an stove or oven. Nor is he allowed to use a gun despite trying to use one.

Whenever Genovese is hanging out with someone without Peppino, it gets little embarrassing because he don't even know to use certain things nor when to know what's normal or not in the situation. He's still learning.

The reason why he has his eyes togther instead of being seperated because...

(he got surgery on his face to stop the melting. But the surgeon accidentally made his eyes together..)

Genovese would usually try to reason before attacking.

His tears are acid. touching him awhile crying is dangerous. Though his tears do not have the color of acid, but rather regular tears color

Genovese likes flowers, all flowers.

Genovese know a lot of ways to how to kill some one. Totally not taught to him, absolutely not. Nope.

Immature self is just as smart as mature self, he can catch things like mature self.

I don't know what I expect out of this so...

[shyvioletcat]

A/N: I'm gonna be honest, i lost my editing steam about halfway through Rowan's second POV, so past there we're just going to ignore any errors due to my impatience. Thank you so much for your patience, this chapter has been sitting in my brain for a long time. It's something other than poorly edited

~ Made of Ashes Masterlist ~

~~~~~

Aelin was so tired she didn’t know how she was conscious or functioning. The inevitable had happened, her precious little baby was sick. And she was left floundering.

It had started out fairly mild. Just a little bit of a runny nose and some irritability. The first few days had been next to nothing and Aelin had been able to cope fairly well. She was a little sleep deprived and a little anxious, but that was all and overall it hadn’t been too bad. And then Elsie didn’t get better, in fact she got worse, and everything flipped on its head. Now Elsie was coughing, often wheezing, a low appetite and a fever just to round it out. Aelin was doing her best and she managed to get Elsie to take some pain relievers that helped the baby sleep. The real issue was getting Elsie to eat enough, she was still only breastfed but Aelin fed her whenever she wanted, no matter when. It just felt like it wasn’t enough.

It had been two days of Aelin barely sleeping while fretting over her fussy daughter. Every cough and whimper had her nerves on edge, as did trying to placate to Elsie’s every whim. Aelin was battling this fight on her own. Her parents were on a business trip in Rifthold and she didn’t want to risk spreading the infection to Rue, and Korby was already sick. So Aelin would soldier on, in the trenches and on the front lines. 

Seeing her daughter sick was heartbreaking. It left her with a deep feeling of helplessness, because at the very heart of it there was nothing Aelin could do to ease her baby’s suffering. Nothing seemed to please her and the best Aelin could do was hold her just about every minute of the day. When Elsie wasn’t attached to her mother she cried like her own heart was breaking. Aelin hadn’t showered in a good 36 hours and sustenance came from whatever she could make and eat one handed. 

They were currently on Aelin’s bed with the pillows stacked so that she could lean back and rest Elsie on her chest so they were both mostly upright. Elsie fussed, fighting sleep, her little whimpers sounding congested. Aelin knew her daughter needed rest, it would be the fastest way to get better. A nap would do them both some good in fact. 

“Come on, darling,” Aelin whispered, eyes closed like all her energy diverted to keep her mouth moving. “Just sleep, even for a little bit.”

Elsie protested, rubbing her face on her mother’s shirt, no doubt getting drool and snot everywhere. Aelin didn’t care, dirty clothes weren’t a concern right now. Keeping her eyes closed Aelin started to hum and there was a moment of quiet before Elsie started fussing again. She changed to singing You Are My Sunshine softly. That one almost worked but Elsie’s contentment only lasted about a minute. And then a song came into her head at random, and Aelin was singing it before she even realised what she was doing. 

Beautiful Dreamer, wake unto me,

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;

Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,

Lull'd by the moonlight have all passed away!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,

List while I woo thee with soft melody;

The song was one Rowan used to sing all the time, one that his mother used to sing to him if he was to be believed. Aelin’s voice was weak and uneven, but she did her best. This song sounded better when Rowan sang it, his accent adding a bit of whimsy, almost making it sound like some kind of faerie lullaby. 

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,

Mermaids are chanting the wild Lorelei;

Over the stream let vapours are borne,

Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,

E'en as the morn on the stream let and sea;

Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Elsie went quiet and Aelin let out a shaky sigh of relief. Finally, a reprieve. Aelin sang it again and Elsie stayed quiet, and half way through the third time the baby was asleep. Too tired to care, Aelin didn’t bother trying to open her eyes knowing that sleep was hovering over her. It was barely a minute later and she was asleep. 

Something pulled Aelin to consciousness, not even realising how deep of a sleep she had fallen into. Within a few heart startling moments she would realise it was mother’s intuition. Elsie was still on her chest, awake and in distress. Her breathing was rapid and Aelin was sweating herself from how hot the infant was. Aelin’s body reacted first—tipping forward and cradling Elsie in her arms so that she could see her better. 

Elsie’s breathing was deep and rapid and she was looking pale. One of her fists waved about, knocking the side of her head and ears. And then Elsie coughed, an awful sound that had Aelin’s insides twisting with panic. Her baby was unwell, severely unwell.

Aelin fumbled for her phone, her hand shaking from panic and exhaustion. She couldn’t manage the string of numbers so she went to contacts instead, tapping frantically on the one that simply read: Mum.

“Hello, hello,” Evalin said cheerfully, her face appearing on the screen. 

“Mum, what do I do?” Aelin asked.

Concern flooded her mother’s features. “What do you mean?”

“She’s breathing so hard and her temperature is so high,” Aelin said, her voice heightened with her increasing alarm. “I just fell asleep for a second, just a second.”

Aelin was aware she was reaching hysterics but she couldn’t help it. Panic well and truly had set in and the overwhelming need to protect had taken over, except there was no physical threat. There was nothing she could do. 

“Show me what her breathing is like,” Evalin said, the tension in her voice clear but she was trying to stay calm.

“It’s ah… it’s fast,” Aelin flipped the phone to show Elsie. “And she’s coughing and the pain medicine must have worn off because her fever is back.”

Elsie’s breath caught and she coughed, disrupting her breathing more. Two sets of worried turquoise eyes met each other through the phone screen. Aelin broke. 

“Do I take her to the doctor or the hospital? How am I supposed to drive? I can’t watch her if I’m driving, what if she stops breathing?”

“Oh my sweethearts,” Evalin sounded devastated. “I’m sure she’ll be okay but I think you should take her to the hospital.”

Aelin sobbed, she couldn’t help it. She tried to keep it together but exhaustion and fear were overwhelming her—she was so alone right now. 

“Aelin, don’t drive. Call someone to come get you,” Evalin said. 

 But Aelin’s brain was scrambled, no one immediately came to her. “Who?”

“Aedion, he’s the closest.”

“Yeah, okay,” Aelin said a bit weakly. 

“Call him and then call me back,” Evalin said. “I’ll stay on with you until he gets there.”

Aelin hung up, then called Aedion straight away. She was holding her breath until she got an answer. Somehow she managed to be coherent and Aedion promised to be out the door moments later. Aelin was about to call her mother back when Elsie had a coughing fit, lasting so long that the baby vomited. It covered both of them and Aelin swore under her breath as she tried to contain the vomit and make sure Elsie was all right. 

Elise cried and cried, her pain and discomfort obvious. Aelin tried to comfort her as she bundled Elsie up the best she could and headed for the bathroom, snatching a change of baby clothes from a clean washing basket on the way. There wasn’t time for a shower and Aelin didn’t want to risk the chill Elsie might get after. Aelin stripped the soiled clothes off both of them and threw them in the bathtub and then yanked down a towel to give Elsie a wipe down before dressing her in leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt. The crying hadn’t stopped and Aelin felt tears gathering in her own eyes. The helplessness was overwhelming.

“Aelin.” Aedion was standing in the doorway, his face tight as he took in the scene.

“She’s sick,” Aelin said, sniffling. Her brain was fried and she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Yeah, poor thing.” Aedion’s tone was soothing, low and soft. 

Aelin stood, keeping a safe hold on her daughter. “We gotta go.”

Aedion stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Hold on—’’

What was he doing, didn’t he realise they had to leave? Now. Aelin was about to verbally protest when Aedion gave her a look that had her biting back the words.

“You don’t have a shirt on, and you’ll need your wallet and the nappy bag.”

Aelin had been so concerned about getting Elsie dressed after the vomiting that she hadn’t got a change of clothes for herself. All Aelin wore was a crop bra and pyjama pants. She couldn’t go to the hospital like this. 

“Pass her to me and go get what you need,” Aedion said, holding out his arms to take the baby.

Aelin nodded, passing Elsie over. “Clothes, wallet, bag.”

Over the crying Aedion repeated, “Clothes. Wallet. Bag.”

Aedion left the bathroom, murmuring to Elsie as she cried, but Aelin forced her brain to focus on what she needed to do now. She needed clothes, and her wallet, and stuff for Elsie. Three things and then they could go. In her bedroom Aelin threw on a pair of leggings and the first clean t-shirt she could find, also grabbing a sweatshirt because hospitals were always cold. Next she darted off to Elsie’s room, stuffing more clothes and nappies and a pacifier into the bag. All that was left was her wallet that was on the kitchen counter. 

She found Aedion pacing between the living area and the edge of the kitchen, whispering to Elsie. Aelin was so focused on getting out the door that she didn’t notice the quiet at first. Her daughter was still whimpering softly but the desperate crying had stopped. It irrationally hurt to see Elsie settled when Aelin had been trying so hard—for days. Aedion’s eyes met hers over the top of Elsie’s head and he gave her a weak smile. 

Aelin didn’t return it, too single minded to sort through her feelings. So she just grabbed her wallet from the bench and she was done. “Ready.”

There was a wordless agreement that Aedion would keep Elsie, at least until they got to the car. Elsie was content for the time being and there was no use disturbing her more than she needed to be, even though it caved in Aelin’s chest a little to keep the distance. Blessedly the elevator was quick to arrive and there were no stops down to the garage parking lot. Aedion unlocked the car, but Aelin opened the door and he eased Elsie into the car seat. As soon as the connection to her uncle’s chest was lost the crying started again. Each second seemed to drag on, and for a few of them Aelin waited just holding the door. When Elsie’s cry broke into a screech it kicked Aelin into gear and she was darting around to the other side of the car and climbed into the back seat. 

“I’m here, baby girl. I’m here,” Aelin tried to soothe and Aedion finished up with the buckle. Elsie’s eyes peeked over at her, her bottom lip pouting. “Just hold on, we’re going. You’ll feel better soon. 

The drive consisted of Aelin repeating assurances over and over again, words of comfort and keeping her hands on Elsie so she knew her mother was right there with her. When they got to the hospital everything passed in a blur. Aedion dropped her at the doors and Aelin hurried with Elsie through the doors. As a sick infant Elsie was seen within minutes.

Aelin felt like she was in a limbo as she waited for Elsie to be assessed. To help with her initial comfort they gave Elsie oxygen and put a monitor on her foot. Next it was quickly determined that she was at risk of dehydration so they attached an IV too. That was traumatic, and Aelin thanked the gods that Aedion was by her side when that happened. He was able to hold Aelin’s shaking hand and help keep Elsie still while the nurse injected the needle in her hand. Aelin wasn’t letting her daughter go, even if she barely had the strength. 

It was nearly another hour before they got the full diagnosis. The doctor had introduced herself as Sorsha and Aelin had to hand it to her, she had an excellent bedside manner. She was patient with both Elsie and her mother while the stress was high. Her hazel eyes were kind and sympathetic, but she was assertive and clear every step of the way. 

Sorsha delivered the news on Elsie’s diagnosis herself. She had RSV, which led to an ear infection and bronchitis. Aelin’s heart seized at the words but Sorscha assured her that it sounded scarier than it was. All three were common and treatable, and it was all caught early enough that there were no serious repercussions. And on top of that they had discovered there was a slight structural abnormality in the tubes that connected her ears to her sinuses which had been the cause of the ear infection. It had to do with drainage and bacteria, but Aelin had been too focused on fixing it that most of what was said went over her head. She was told Elsie would most likely grow out of the ear problems, she would just be more susceptible to more infections until she did. The doctor commended Aelin on her actions and left her to process what she’d just heard. 

Aelin had done the right thing, Elsie was okay— just needed to be monitored.

They were moved from the ER department to a room in the children’s ward of the hospital because they would be staying for at least a few days. Aelin barely left Elsie’s bedside, and quickly fell back into the habit of barely sleeping. There was a reclining armchair for her to sleep in, a consideration made for those parents that would be staying with their children. But the constant beeping and noise of the hospital kept her awake, as did the anxiety over her daughter’s welfare. It didn’t help that every time Aelin started to drift off she was graced with dreams of Elsie screaming, or crying, or vomiting. She would startle awake, unsure of what was reality and what wasn’t, only to find Elsie sleeping soundly. 

Aelin’s mother arrived around lunchtime on their first full day in the hospital, and it was only then that she managed to get a solid amount of sleep knowing that someone else had eyes on Elsie. She was unfortunately woken up about an hour later by a nurse coming in and doing another check. The consensus was that Elsie wasn’t declining, but she still needed to stay in for observation. 

Evalin went out for food, which Aelin only picked at until visiting hours were over. Elsie’s condition had kind of plateaued instead of getting better. Everyone kept saying at least she wasn’t getting worse. What ate away at Aelin was that maybe she hadn’t done enough, that she hadn’t seen the signs earlier and acted too late. Maybe all this could have been avoided if she had been more vigilant. Aelin had been hanging by a thread so she hadn’t noticed how serious Elsie’s condition was. To punish herself further Aelin had googled the what ifs in those hours that she couldn’t sleep and was berating herself for letting it get this far to begin with. 

Another night in the hospital was spent watching Elsie as she slept, sometimes fitfully in between medications. They gave her doses to keep her comfortable but it couldn’t take all her ailments away. The tiny girl still woke up in distress, crying from pain or discomfort from the IV, or coughing and waking up in an unfamiliar bed. Aelin was doing everything she could to make sure Elsie was comfortable and content. But it wasn’t enough. 

A new day started and Aelin was still staring at her daughter, cataloguing everything. Her breathing was easier, but it still shuddered every once and a while. There was a slight decline in the frequency of the coughing fits and blessedly they deemed that Elsie was eating enough that she was unhooked from the IV, temporarily at least. 

Evalin was their visitor today and had taken it upon herself to fill everyone in with the updates, using the group chat on Aelin’s phone. Lorcan was checking in incessantly, because guilt was riding him too. Unbeknown to everyone Korbin had RSV, and yes, it was the consensus that was where the sickness had come from. Elide and Lorcan had kept him home instead of coming to dinner that night, but it seemed that Lorcan had been the one to pass it on to Elsie. He felt awful and had sent Aelin numerous apologies, he even went as far as calling which was all but unheard of from him. Aelin told him it wasn’t his fault, reciting the statistics of how common infections were this time of year. It was winter, it was cold, people got sick.

All her friends were rallying to Aelin’s side, offering any and every kind of help they could—mainly in the offering of food to keep the visitors down in the hospital room. Her mother was in charge of crowd control, Evalin was a pro at managing people and telling them when to do things. That was probably the reason why the next guest arrived.

“Hey,” Fenrys said softly from the doorway. 

Aelin nearly jumped despite the non-startling care he had taken. “Hey, Fen.”

“I’ve got some snacks,” he said, holding up a bag as he walked into the room. “How’s she doing?”

Aelin looked back at Elsie, who was sleeping. “She’s doing okay. Getting better.”

“That’s good,” Fenrys said. 

Fenrys drifted over to where Evalin sat by the window, passing over the food and chatting quietly. Aelin didn’t bother to try and decipher what was being said, the beeping of Elsie’s monitor was too loud. As were the thoughts tumbling around in her head. 

“Go home, Aelin,” Evalin said, snapping Aelin out of her trance. “She’s okay, I’ll be right here.”

“I can’t,” Aelin replied. 

“You can,” Evalin’s voice was a little firmer. “Have a shower, get some clean clothes. I won’t leave her side, I promise.”

Aelin looked up to her mother’s face, seeing the honesty there. If she promised not to leave Elsie’s side, Aelin believed her. It would be hard but Aelin knew it was the right thing to do. She’d been in these clothes for two days and she hadn’t done more than wash her face. 

“I’ll drive you, come on,” Fenrys offered. 

Fenrys dropping by with food had truly been divine intervention or very purposeful planning. Aelin supposed it might be the latter. She might have been able to take her mother’s car, but she wasn’t too confident in her driving right now. With Elsie sleeping and Aelin didn’t want to wake her but she couldn't leave without pressing the softest of kisses to her daughter’s head. 

On the way out to the car Aelin stopped by the nurse’s station just to let them know what was happening and that she would be back as soon as they could. They nodded along and promised to ring if anything occurred while she was out. When they undoubtedly saw the colour drain from Aelin’s face they told her nothing would, because Elsie was doing fine. It still left Aelin’s stomach in a tight knot. 

Fenrys led her out to his car and opened the door for her. Aelin fingers drummed on her thigh as she waited for him to get in. The quicker they left, the quicker she could get back. The usually talkative man was silent on the drive back to her apartment and Aelin wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. She didn’t have the energy for conversation but the silence also left her alone with her thoughts. They swirled inside her mind, building and inflating into what felt like a treacherous storm.

“Want me to come up?” Fenrys offered as he yanked on the handbrake.

“Um,” Aelin's brain was foggy. “If you want?”

Fenrys looked at her for a moment and then made his decision. “I’ll come up.

As soon as they were out of the car Aelin had her keys in her hand, ready and waiting to get her to her apartment. Then it was just the habitual ride up the elevator and walk down the hallway. 

Being inside her apartment had Aelin relaxing, even if it was just by the smallest amount. She wanted a shower, maybe some food, but then she found she couldn’t move from where she stood in front of her couch. Aelin’s tumultuous emotions were winning, try as she might she couldn’t hold them at bay any longer. She wrapped her arms around her body as the last defence of keeping herself together. It failed and a sob tore out of her before she could stop or flee to where no one could see her long held in breakdown.

“Aelin,” Fenrys said tentatively. She didn’t answer, she just cried harder. 

Fenrys was moving closer and a little voice in the back of Aelin’s head told her to stop crying, wipe her face and smile. But she was tired and sad, her daughter was sick in the hospital and it was all her fault.

“Hey, come here.” 

Arms that weren’t hers wrapped around her and Aelin was pressed against a hard chest. She let it happen, accepting the small gesture of comfort. Tears soaked Fenrys’ shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind, he just kept holding her until she was the one to call it. Aelin was embarrassed at how long it took her to calm down, and even then she couldn’t stop tears from gathering and falling down her cheeks. 

“I’m okay, Fen,” Aelin murmured, not pulling away just yet though. “Sorry about your shirt.”

“I don’t mind,” Fenrys said. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I—” the words were choked on a sob. “This is my fault.”

“What? No.” Fenrys pulled back enough so that he could look down at her. “This is not your fault.”

Those words meant nothing, guilt and despair was all consuming. “It is. Because I am not enough for her. I let it go too far, I should have taken her to the doctor or the hospital sooner, but I was just so tired and I have no idea what I’m doing. Elsie is suffering because I am not enough. I am supposed to be everything that she needs and I failed her.”

“No, Aelin. You know that’s not true,” Fenrys said.

“It is. I should have seen the signs but—”

“Aelin, please listen to me,” Fenrys actually pushed Aelin back so that she could look her in the eyes. She couldn’t hold the eye contact, she turned away, eyes closing and squeezing more tears from her eyes. “Kids get sick, and you were everything Elsie needed. There is no doubt in my mind that you sacrificed just about all of yourself for her benefit. That was enough for her, but shit happens, things that are out of your control. That is what happened. Not you.”

Aelin exhaled, her body shuddering as she tried to wrangle some control over her emotions. She risked a glance at Fenrys’ face. This man was known for his perpetual joking and troublemaking, seeing him so serious was odd but comforting.

“You are more than enough for Elsie,” he said. “You always will be. We’re all here for you, the both of you, but you are all she needs.”

“How did I mess up so badly then?” Aelin’s tears fell with a new fervour. 

“Because you’re new to this and you did do the best that you could. And when you had to, you asked for help,” Fenrys told her. “And RSV is so common, it’s something that they say is only a matter of time.”

“How do you know that?” Aelin asked, dabbing her nose on her sleeve as she finally felt brave enough to step away. 

“I did my research once your mum let us all know,” Fenrys replied. “She’s awesome by the way, real cool lady.”

“I’ll have to tell her you said that, she’ll be flattered.” Aelin felt a bit lighter. 

“What makes you think I haven’t told her myself?” Fenrys said cheekily. That made Aelin laugh and he tapped a knuckle in her chin. “There we go.”

“That’s gross, Fen. Who knew it would take you hypothetically flirting with my mother to break me,” Aelin's voice was shaky with laughter and withheld tears. 

“Had to get you to listen to me somehow,” Fenrys said with a genuine smile. 

“Um, watch TV or whatever,” Aelin waved at the couch. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

That question threatened to trigger a new wave of tears. Aelin had always been too independent for her own good, the last few days had proven that. So not wanting to set off another round she declined and all but fled to the bathroom and showered. It felt amazing and she was more than refreshed when she stepped out onto the mat and grabbed her towel. It was then she noticed that the vomit covered clothes had been removed. Someone had been in and tidied up, and instead of feeling embarrassed she just felt gratitude. 

Dressed and ready to go, Aelin did a quick check of her phone to see if there were any messages. Just one, from her mother, letting her know Elsie had woken up but was content. Aelin knew that would only be for the time being she would have to get back as soon as she could to prevent a monster meltdown. She also noticed that it was mid afternoon on a Tuesday—time and space had no relevance in the hospital. 

Fenrys was sitting on her lounge and Aelin shot him the question her phone had triggered. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Nope,” Fenrys said, not looking over right away. Like he needed a moment to form his single word answer.

“But, it’s a work day. Don’t tell me you took it off for me.” If he had… it was just something else that she would beat herself up over. 

Fenrys now doubt sensed her rising panic as it was broadcasted across the room because he said without hesitation, “I quit. Finally.”

Aelin remembered something about a game company seeking him out, but as far as she knew he had stuck with Stone City. “You what?”

Slapping his hands on his things once, he stood from the couch. “Come on, let’s get you back before your mum eats all the good snacks.”

There was something more going on here, Aelin could feel it. But she definitely lacked the tact to get it out in the right way. So she just nodded and grabbed what she needed. They stayed silent until they got to the elevator, right up to when Aelin started to fidget again. Fenrys hip checked her, making her smile. 

“Remember what I said, okay?”

Aelin turned so that she could face him, finding him looking quite serious but still with that underlying playfulness which she decided to take advantage of. “What exactly? You say a lot and most of it is straight bullshit.”

Fenrys raised his eyebrows at her, like that was the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard her say. But then made a show of contemplating the words, making Aelin smile.

“You may be mostly right,” he conceded. “But you are everything and more to Elsie. You will always be enough, don’t forget that.”

Those words were said with such sincerity that Aelin felt her frayed emotions rise up again. She nodded and then turned away before the tears could fall. Fenrys, being the decent guy that he was, pretended not to notice. Damn him and his unfailing charm because despite herself, Aelin might just be starting to believe him. 

~~~~~

It had been an uneventful few days at work. The company was in their post Yulemas lull, giving all the employees a slight breather. All their clients had blown out their budgets in the lead up to the biggest commercial season of the year and were now recuperating and re-evaluating their next steps. So, all Rowan had to do was maintain contact and scope out new clients, wooing them through stories of successes from the past few months. 

The wider office outside his door was fairly quiet as Rowan read the company email that went out everyday. It was full of information he already knew, most of which he had some hand in as part of his managerial role. Skimming it, Rowan assumed there was nothing he needed to take note of. 

And then he almost missed a memo, it was so short and brief and he’d been intent only glancing over the words. But Rowan’s eyes caught on a familiar name and that was enough to give him pause and to give it the time of day. His eyes went a bit wider and he even went as far as checking his phone like the answer would appear. It didn’t, all he had were email notifications from clients. 

Rowan sat back in his chair, reading over the memo again. Fenrys had left Stone City Advertising. There was no explanation, just a short note that he was leaving that was meant to notify everyone else that there was no point in contacting him. Rowan didn’t know why, but none of his friends had said a thing about it. That unsettled him, and it also made Rowan question why he wasn’t notified as part of his role as manager. He picked up his phone ready to send a text off to Lorcan to ask him about the sudden departure when there was a knock on his office door.

It was Dresenda, a new hire. Maeve’s assistants usually had a two year job life span before they started to look for employment elsewhere. Rowan liked his job well enough but he would never want that job. “Hey, Rowan. Maeve just got in and she wants to see you.”

“Thanks,” Rowan said, standing and slipping his phone back into his pocket. 

Maeve had been over in Terrasen, wooing a high profile client and from how long she was gone, it seemed like some sight seeing as well. It would be bitterly cold there this time of year. The end of January into February was when winter sunk its claws in. Snow would cover the city for days, maybe weeks if they were lucky. In Doranelle the weather was milder all year round, snow was a rare sight here. Rowan loved the cold, it had made Terrasen feel like home in a way—like that climate was made for him. All things considered it certainly didn’t feel that way anymore. 

It was irrelevant, he was here—his life was here. His affection for the cold wouldn’t be enough to draw him back. Roman wasn’t sure there was anything that would lure him back to that city that had so painstakingly thrown him out.

~~~~~

Rowan should have been working. Not technically, but there were things he needed to do. It was a Thursday evening and he’d only left work half an hour later than everyone else with the plans to go home and finish off a few things before he went to bed. And he had opened his laptop and left it by the chair he planned to eat in… but then he’d got distracted. Rowan had made his dinner then had every intention of reading over some reports when he very randomly opened a website for one of the local department stores and was now scrolling through pages of children’s toys. 

He didn’t know much about kids but he knew that they liked toys. His company had developed more than enough advertisements to appeal to the younger audiences to know that it was a very lucrative business to be in. What Rowan hadn’t been prepared for was the sheer amount of variety. 

Dolls, building blocks, miniature kitchens, unicorns, plush toys. The list went on. His mother had mentioned that Elspeth’s birthday was coming up soon, and an idea had taken root. In his quest to get to know his daughter better he had the idea that he might buy her something. To him sounded dangerously close to bribery, but he was willing to try anything. 

Rowan was cleaning up after his fairly late dinner when there was a hurried knocking on his door. He shook his hands off over the sink and then snatched the tea towel from where it hung on the over handle to dry his hands. The knocking came again, this time more urgently. Curiosity had him moving a little faster, wondering who was insistently trying to disturb his evening. 

This time the knocking was short, sharp and hard. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Rowan muttered. 

He swung the door open and the sight in front of him made his heart skip a beat. Aelin stood there, Elspeth cradled in her arms. The child didn’t look good, her skin was pale and her body seemed to be shuddering. 

“She’s sick,” Aelin said, stating the obvious. 

For a moment Rowan just stood there, trying to process. Then his brain kicked into gear, along with a healthy dose of panic. “What’s wrong?”

“I just need you to drive us to the hospital,” Aelin said, ignoring his question. “Please.”

“Yeah, of course,” Rowan wouldn’t press the issue—not when he could see the urgency of the request. “Just one minute.”

The door swung when it was released but didn’t close but Aelin didn’t bother with entering his apartment. All Rowan did was grab his wallet and keys and then found them waiting in the hallway. Elspeth’s head was now resting on her mother’s shoulder and Aelin swayed in place. There was a bag hanging off Aelin’s arm and taking that small burden was the first thing Rowan did.

Aelin rushed off to the elevator and Rowan followed. He kept a cautious eye on Elspeth, feeling useless as they waited. What he was trying to comprehend was that Aelin had come to him for help. It must have been a real emergency then if she wasn’t going to wait around for someone else. Or maybe, Rowan selfishly thought, this was progress.

The elevator finally arrived and Aelin stepped in, Rowan right behind her hitting the button for the garage. Elspeth coughed and then let out a whimpering cry. It was an awful sound, something in his chest twisted because of it. 

“My keys are in the small pocket, we’ll take my car,” Aelin said, nodding at the bag Rowan held. 

He found the keys, holding them in his hand so he was ready. Rowan wanted more information but he knew this wasn’t the time or place to ask, he would just have to silently manage his building concern. And even though he was being useful, he still felt a little helpless struggling with the unknown. He would drive them to the hospital and then what? What would happen to Elspeth when they got there? Would it just be a short stay or would it be longer? Would Aelin want him to wait? What could he realistically do to help in this situation when they got to the hospital? Rowan could feel the tension in his body building with each new question. 

It wasn’t much longer until they were at the car. Rowan left Aelin to get Elspeth sorted and he dropped into the driver’s seat. His long legs were bent uncomfortably and he pushed the seats back. This brought him back to years ago when he would drive Aelin’s car. He always copped it afterwards if he didn’t put it back to the original position. 

“I know, baby I know,” Aelin murmured as she strapped Elspeth into her car seat while she protested. “I know you don’t want to go but we need to make you feel better.”

Rowan monitored the progress in the rearview mirror. When Aelin sat back and clicked her seatbelt into the buckle he started driving. 

Elspeth whimpered and complained, and he saw her reaching for her mother. Aelin lent over and kissed that little hand and gave Elspeth and her own to hold onto. “You’re okay, Elsie. I know it hurts, but we can make it better. 

Rowan was tempted once again to seek some explanation over what had Elspeth so distressed, but it seemed he didn’t have to. 

“She’s okay,” Aelin said, no doubt noting how Rowan couldn’t stop checking the rearview mirror. “I would have taken her to the doctor but it’s after house and the quickest and easiest way to get her seen is take to the hospital. It’s just a bit of a cold but they hit her pretty hard and I just want to get some things checked.”

“Poor thing.” Rowan couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

“We manage.” 

Those words were clipped and a little defensive and they had no need to be. Rowan wouldn’t come for her over this. Gods, seeing Elspeth so miserable and in obvious pain… Aelin was doing the best that she could. And it would have taken a lot for her to knock on his door for help. It stung a little that she would still assume he would think so negatively about her in that way. 

It was ten minutes more before they reached the hospital and Rowan dropped them as close to the doors as he could. Aelin hadn’t said anything besides thanks before she left so Rowan wasn’t sure what he should do. Maybe he’d just wait in the car, but when he parked he saw the bag that Aelin had been left behind. 

Rowan ended up in the waiting room, the bag keeping him company on the seat beside him. Neither Aelin or Elspeth were in sight, and he was glad that they were seen so quickly. To kill time he mindlessly scrolled through his phone, his mind too muddled to do anything productive. The bag next to him was all the prodding he needed to approach the reception desk and get whatever information they would give him. 

“Excuse me, I was wondering if I could get an update on Elspeth Galthynius?” Rowan asked. 

The woman at the desk gave him a polite smile and then clicked a few things. “She’s been moved to the children’s ward.”

“Her mother left a bag with me, am I right to take it through?” He held up the bag as evidence. 

“No problem, go through.”

“Thanks,” Rowan said and then followed the signage to the children’s ward. 

He was stopped again at those doors and he gave the same story and was let through without much fuss. They had also given him a room number so he kept an eye out for the right one. The door was open and he found Aelin sitting next to Elspeth’s bed, watching her daughter. There was a monitor bandaged to Elspeth’s hand and he noted there was an oxygen apparatus next to the bed that wasn’t being used. Besides that Rowan couldn’t decipher anything about her condition because Elspeth was asleep. Rowan could immediately tell that Aelin was less stressed and that was reassuring. She didn’t look ready to fight the nearest threat anymore, her shoulders were looser, the lines of her face more relaxed. He knocked and then stepped into the room. 

“Hey, I just wanted to see if there was anything else you needed,��� Rowan said, handing over the bag.

“Oh,” Aelin looked and sounded exhausted. “Um, no we’re okay.”

“Alright,” Rowan still hesitated. “Is anyone else coming? I can leave your car here and get myself back.” 

“Shit, I didn’t even think of that. Take my car, Fen should be here soon,” Aelin replied, rubbing at her face. “Thank you, again.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rowan moved closer so he could lower his voice. “What’s wrong?”

Aelin rubbed her hands on her thighs and swallowed hard. “When Elsie was just about four months old she got RSV, it’s a respiratory infection. Since then she’s been more susceptible to reinfection or getting a bad cough when she gets sick. She also has something a little off about the structure of the inside of her ears, so whenever she gets sick we usually get ear aches as well. Just… Overall she gets infections easier so I always want to make sure they get seen and diagnosed right away.”

Elspeth being this unwell explained why she had fallen asleep so suddenly on him the other day. 

“Do they happen often? The earaches?” Rowan asked and Aelin nodded. “I had ear problems too, the eustachian tubes, Right?”

Aelin swallowed again, eyes darting from him to Elsie. “I didn’t know that.”

Rowan took a chance and sat down on the chair next to Aelin, feeling less awkward and imposing. “I used to get horrible earaches, so bad that I still remember them vividly. But I eventually grew out of them.”

Aelin just nodded, eyes fixed on a spot on the floor. They were quiet for a while and then Aelin laughed stiffly. It left Rowan a bit surprised and he didn’t know what he was supposed to respond with. 

“It hurts so much to see her in pain and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s a sickening kind of helplessness,” Aelin explained. “I try… but it never seems good enough. She wanders off and licks the glass at work or something, or we go to the library and some random kid coughs on her.”

That comment made Rowan huff a small laugh, and to his surprise his response made Aelin lips quirk in a fraction of a smile. But it fell away too quickly and when Aelin looked to where Elspeth slept Rowan could see the unshed tears in her eyes. 

“Last time you saw me I lost her and then there was her almost taking a solo ride in the elevator,” Aelin said. “I don’t know what it is but you seem to keep witnessing my worst mothering moments. I just—”

Aelin broke. Her breath caught and Rowan recognised her tell tale efforts she was dedicating to stop herself from crying. It stunned Rowan for a moment and he was about to tell her that these supposed failings didn’t affect his opinion of her as a mother, but he didn’t get the chance. From what he had seen, Aelin was a dedicated mother, this evening had been proof of that. Right now she was practically shaking—he could see the tremors in her hand from where it rested on the arm of the plastic chair. 

He wasn’t sure what made him do it but he reached and took Aelin’s hand, squeezing it just a little bit. 

“You’re doing great,” Rowan said, hoping she could understand how genuine he was. 

Aelin looked from his hand to his face, reading his open sincerity. She swallowed, and she withdrew her hand to stop tears from rolling down her cheeks. Rowan was searching for something else to say when there was a knock on the door. Aelin’s head jerked towards the door, Rowan looking away from her to send his eyes in the same direction. A pretty doctor stood in the doorway, probably around Aelin’s age, her hazel eyes darting between him and Aelin. 

“Dad, I assume?” she said. 

“No,” Aelin said quickly. “I mean, yes. But no. Gods,” she muttered.

Rowan’s gut twisted at hearing that awful and hurried explanation. He didn’t dare contend it.

“Can we talk outside? I don’t want to wake her.” Aelin stood and was halfway to the door when she stopped. “Is this… you all right with this?”

Meaning being left alone with Elspeth. 

Without hesitation Rowan gave his answer. “No worries, I’ll sit with her.”

An expression filled with mixed emotions appeared on Aelin’s face and then she followed the doctor out the door. Rowan was left alone in the room with Elspeth. It was quiet except for the quiet hum of the machines and Elspeth’s sharp intake of breath every once and a while. She was still asleep, laying on her stomach, her hand with the monitor attached resting beside her head. Her skin was still pale, but there was a rosy flush on her chubby cheeks. Every once and a while she took in a deep breath and it jerked her whole body, making Rowan start every time. He had never seen her this still, she was usually so energetic and it gave him the opportunity to study her. 

She looked so much like Aelin. He could still recall the photos of her as a child that he had seen and Elspeth was like a mini double. But Rowan was also starting to see himself in her too. His mother had been right, the way her brow furrowed was like him and maybe there was something in the shape of her face that was like him. And there were her green eyes, of course. 

Those eyes that opened now, lost and hazy for a moment before they focused on the unfamiliar room and what was weighing down her hand. Elspeth’s face fell, tears quickly gathering.

Rowan was out of his chair in an instant, panicking with the need to calm her down. “Hey, there sweetheart. It’s okay.” 

That did nothing and tears ran down her cheeks as she raised her head up, no doubt looking for her mother. 

“Hey, Elsie, it’s okay,” Rowan said, crouching beside the bed. He realised a moment later that was one of the few times he had said her name. But it seemed to get her attention. “Mum’s just outside, she’ll be right back.”

”Mama,” Elspeth just about squeaked. 

“Yeah, she’s talking to the doctor, she’s still here,” Rowan assured her. 

“Hurts, Rowan.” She remembered him and was saying his name a little better. Elspeth pulled on her ear. “Hurts here.”

So carefully, he pulled her hand away from her ear so that she didn’t irritate it more. “I know, sweetheart.”

Elspeth held onto his thumb, not even trying to go back to her ear. Her hand was so godsdamned tiny compared to his. She didn’t say anything, but did start to cry harder.

”Hey, hey,” Rowan tried to soothe, scrambling for something. “How about a lullaby, one from when I was small?”

She didn’t give a verbal response, just watched him with expectant and wide eyes. Rowan cleared his throat and then started singing. 

Beautiful Dreamer, wake unto me,

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee

Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,

Lull'd by the moonlight have all passed away

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,

List while I woo thee with soft melody

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,

Mermaids are chanting the wild Lorelei

Over the stream let vapours are borne,

Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,

E'en as the morn on the stream let and sea;

Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Rowan stopped singing and it seemed to have worked. Elspeth breathed a little faster and her eyes fluttered, but she was relaxed and happy. The smile she gave only reached half her mouth with her cheek squished on the mattress. Regardless, it was sweet enough to make Rowan’s chest tighten. It was beautiful in a heartbreaking way. She tried her hardest to keep her eyes open but they stayed close, and just like that she was asleep again. For longer than he should have, Rowan let Elspeth hold onto him, not wanting to lose the small weight of her hand just yet. It was only when he was sure she was soundly asleep and that moving away wouldn’t wake her, he did so. A little regretfully because he had been more than happy to offer her that small comfort as long as she needed it. He sat back in his chair and just waited. 

Aelin came back into the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. “How’d she go?”

”She woke up for a second but then she settled,” Rowan said, some of that awkwardness from before still lingering. 

“Thank you,” Aelin said. 

Rowan couldn’t help the slight smile that tilted his lips, remembering  Elspeth’s little smile. “I was no problem, Aelin.”

“I mean for everything.” 

Rowan took in the way that Aelin stood with her arms crossed, but not with hostility. It was enough of a reprieve to prompt him to ask, “Why me?”

“You were closest,” was Aelin’s simple answer. “I might have been able to drive myself but I would be fretting. Everyone else is on the other side of the city right now and I don’t like to wait, not when it comes to her.”

”I would never have turned you down,” Rowan said. He almost added I hope you know that but Aelin answered before he could. 

But he didn’t need to. “I know that.”

They fell into silence again, slightly awkward, but when weren’t things awkward between them these days? At least they’d expended most of their anger. Aelin shaking her head drew Rowan’s attention, and there was nothing he could think to say. Then he heard hurried footsteps and then the door opened. Fenrys stepped into the room, concern written all over his face. 

“How’s she doing?” Fenrys asked, all his focus on Aelin and Elsie. Rowan wouldn’t have been surprised if his presence was going completely unnoticed. 

“She’s okay,” Aelin said, as Fenrys met her at the foot of the small bed. “It’s her ears again.”

Immediately Fenrys wrapped an arm around Aelin, and it was over her head that Rowan was finally noticed. Fenrys’ dark eyes went a bit wide, but there was no other reaction besides that. Rowan shifted his attention back to Elspeth who was still soundly asleep thanks to his singing. Aelin and Fenrys were conversing quietly and it was apparent that he was no longer needed, so he’d excuse himself and leave. 

“I’ll head back,” he said. “Hope she feels better soon.”

”Thank you, Rowan,” Aelin said again. 

In response Rowan nodded, and with one last look at Elsie, he left. He didn’t get far before he heard his name being called. Turning, Rowan saw Fenrys walking towards him. It gave Rowan a chance to take the other man in—he looked dishevelled, his curls were messy and there was almost a frantic air about him. He must have raced from wherever he’d been, likely getting caught in traffic. 

“Hey,” Fenrys said when he got close enough. “Thanks for bringing them here.”

This was the first civil interaction since the park and, like now, they had been in public. But this time there was no impactful audience here in the hospital hallway. Nothing about what Fenrys was doing right was performative, that much was very clear. 

“Don’t mention it,” Rowan said. “Even if that was the least I could do, I was happy to do it.”

“I know.” Fenrys extended his hand. “I mean it. Thank you.”

This was strange for Rowan. Once upon a time he would have been Aelin’s knight in shining armour, now that role was taken by someone else. Fenrys’ affection for both Aelin and Elspeth was genuine, there was no doubt about that. And Rowan saw the hand shake for the peace offering it was. This was an offer for burying the hatchet once and for all, prompted on by gratitude. 

Rowan had nothing to lose here, and everything to gain. Holding onto this grudge when he didn’t even have the full story of how things ended up the way they had was going to keep him from his goal. Rowan’s priority was Elspeth, any animosity that remained would only cause more damage to everything he was working so hard to build. More than that, seeing the way it had unfolded tonight, how many times had Fenrys been the one to step up when no one else would?

His daughter had benefited from that care and attention. That was the bitter truth of it, because Rowan was not there himself. 

Rowan shook Fenrys’ hand. “It’s all good, Fen.”

Some of that tension lifted from Fenrys’ face, and a soft smile appeared instead as he glanced back to the hospital room. “I’ll let you go.”

”Look after them,” Rowan said and left before he got any kind of reply. 

It was clearer than anything now, Elspeth—and Aelin— had everything they needed. And it wasn’t just a ride home for the hospital. If Rowan left tomorrow, the impact he would leave on Elspeth’s life would be next to nothing. She would go on and forget he existed. That didn’t sit well with Rowan. His daughter didn’t need him but Rowan was beginning to wonder if he was the one that needed her.  

~~~~~

Rowan left and Aelin felt like she could breathe again. She had been thankful for the way he hadn’t even hesitated to get them to the hospital, but there was still so much tension when he was around. 

“I’ll be back in a sec.”

Fenrys left, dropping a kiss on the top of Aelin’s head. She didn’t know what he had to say to Rowan and she was too tired to try and eavesdrop. It didn’t feel like her place to monitor their every interaction, not like it had before. All the volatile feelings that led to adverse reactions seemed to have worked themselves out. That was good, one less thing for her to worry about.

Her boyfriend wasn’t gone too long, and he ended up leading them over to one of the chairs, pulling Aelin down to sit in his lap. She’d been stuck in a trance watching Elsie breathe and hadn’t realised how close her legs were to giving out until they started moving. Aelin leaned into Fenrys, letting the closeness of his body and his steady heartbeat relax her. She dropped down a bit more so she could rest with her feet on the other chair.

“What happened?” Fenrys asked softly. 

Taking in a deep breath Aelin explained everything. Elsie had been rundown for a few days, Fenrys had known that, he’d even been the one to point it out when he picked them up from the shopping mall the other day. It had started with a runny nose, then a cough, then this evening Elsie’s temperature had spiked and the earaches had started. Aelin knew what would happen next, the symptoms would escalate and so would Elsie’s distress. When her daughter was sick she would wind herself so much that it would exacerbate her cough, then she’d vomit and then it would go down from there. At the hospital they could put her on oxygen and give her pain relief, minimising the risk of dehydration and worse.

“Elsie was close to vomiting and I couldn't get her to keep the medicine in her mouth,” Aelin explained. “I weighed my options and Rowan was the best of them.”

”It was good of him to bring you two down,” Fenrys said. “I thanked him for it.”

”I did too,” Aelin said, then she laced her fingers with Fenrys’ and snuggled into his side. “So, it turns out that Elsie’s ear problems were inherited. From him.”

Fenrys huffed out a breath. “Guess that they have more in common than that frown, huh?”

“Mhmm,” Aelin hummed. Then she was silent for a long time, considering if she should say what she was thinking, knowing Fenrys would rally to assuage her doubts. But she couldn’t leave it, not when old insecurities raised their ugly head. “Do you think she might have suffered less if I had of known?”

Just as she knew he would, Fenrys wasn’t hearing a bar of it. “Chances are she would have had the same problems no matter what. Maybe we might have cottoned onto the cause a bit earlier, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Elsie is fine, she always is and always will be as long as you’re her mother.”

Aelin tilted her face up while Fenrys looked down at her. Her boyfriend was full of shit and she was about to tell him so when he stopped down and kissed her. “Don’t start. I’ll always win. I have years of evidence to counter every argument.”

“Fen,” Aelin said, her throat getting tight. “You’re too good to me.”

He kissed her again. “Maybe.”

There was a soft groan from the bed and Elsie stirred, her free hand rubbing at her eyes and she panicked for a moment while she tried to work out where she was. Aelin was instantly moving, sitting on the edge of the bed and smoothing a hand over Elsie’s hair. 

“Hey, I’m here. We’re at the hospital, remember?” 

“Where Rowan?” Elsie asked, raising her head up a bit, but that seemed to disturb her ear which she started pulling at.

Aelin gently pulled that hand away. “He went home.”

Her daughter looked visibly upset by that. “He sung me my song, Mama.”

“He…” it took Aelin a moment to figure it out. The lullaby she had stolen from him. “That was nice of him.”

“He’s my friend,” Elsie said with full confidence, as much as she could be in her sickly state. 

Aelin didn’t know how to take that little bit of news, little did Elsie know that biologically he was much more than that. 

“Uncle Fen!” She said when she saw who was seated behind her mother.

Fenrys gave the girl a smile full of adoration. “Hey there, Pumpkin. Not feeling good?”

Elsie shook her head. “Ears, uncle Fen.”

”We should get rid of them,” Fenrys said, making Elsie gasp.

”No.” she drew out the word, her voice hoarse. 

“I’ll do mine to match.”

Elsie laughed and Aelin smiled along with her. But then her daughter’s demeanour changed to something more serious.

”Home, Mama?”

Aelin shook her head. “Tomorrow, my love.”

Elsie frowned in response, Aelin hated to see her upset.

”Can I come up there and give you a hug?” She asked. 

Elsie nodded enthusiastically, and Aelin cradled her in her arms, rocking back and forth gently. Then she started humming the lullaby again, knowing that it would calm Elsie down immediately. Because Aelin had been singing it for years, ever since that first hospital visit. That lullaby had been one thing she could rely on to soothe her fussy child. While Aelin hummed her way through the tune she tried not to think about the unexpected and lasting effects the father of her child seemed to be having in not just her and Elsie’s lives, but what it might mean for him now as well. 

~~~~~

I have no faith in the tagging system at the moment, for better notifications please follow @works-of-shyvioletcat

[sarakingdom]

tonight I felt like writing about stevensara and so I came up with this sloppy little draft of a scene that could fit nicely into an ordinary life - i’m currently half asleep and typing this on my phone so please do forgive any spelling / grammar errors !! 💗

~~~

She sits with Steven in a cold room in London. It’s 1952, and the snow is so thick that it’s began to fall through the cracks in their thin windows. He hands her a mug of hot chocolate, and she sighs contentedly as the smell reaches her nose.

‘Do you think we’ll win?’ he says, looking away from her and instead out into the icy pavement outside where two boys pelt snowballs at one another.

Sara stops mid sip, holding her mug in both hands. Normally it’s her that brings this up - her paranoia, the repeated checking of her weapon and the taranium happening far more frequently than she’d like to admit. Steven has always seemed far more capable of truly taking to their new lives which for Sara seem as though they could never be anything more than temporary. Maybe that’s why his question shocks her so much.

Sara studies Steven’s face, or the little of it she can make out from her angle. He looks worried, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched.

‘I…I’d like to think so…’ she trails off, unsure of how much she believes it. It is a very un-Space Security Service answer, she thinks to herself. No reassurances, no platitudes.

He turns to face her, and Sara realises that she must have sounded more confident in her answer than she felt - or Steven is just desperate for reassurance on the matter because a small smile has found its way onto his face, his eyes seeming brighter. Sara feels that odd twist in her chest that has seemed to be happening more and more frequently, but swallows it down.

‘So do I. Especially when we find where the doctor’s got to…I’m sure it’ll be for good reason and we’ll definitely have some stories to tell him, won’t we?’

A smile sneaks its way onto Sara’s face at this. It hasn’t been a long time they’ve spent together without the doctor, but it feels as though it’s lasted years. She’s gone to sleep every night with her head spinning from a world of completely new things - some good (ice cream) and some bad (her attempt at finding g a job was definitely a point she’d keep to herself upon their reunion with the doctor).

Steven is looking at her even more intently now and Sara berates herself for noticing the slight pink dappled across his cheeks - something that she thinks makes him seem newly vulnerable to the extent she worries it’s an invasion of privacy for her to note it.

‘I guess…why I asked about us winning-‘ he trails off, fiddling with his hands and then the mug he holds.

Sara gives him a searching look which she hopes urges him to continue.

‘I just…god…I can’t stop thinking that something awful is going to happen. To me, or worse…to you.’

Sara’s soft smile is replaced by a raised eyebrow and a frown. ‘Why would it be worse if something happened to me?’

Steven sighs, placing his mug on the small rickety coffee table and standing up.

‘I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sara.’

He walks out of the room before Sara can say another word, and she is left alone on the sofa. The temperature drops as he leaves, opening the door, but her face is flushed and she worries there’s the beginning of a winter fever setting in. She wraps a blanket around her, feeling her heart beat so fast she thinks it might burst out of her chest.

[thewertsearch]

FCG: I CAN'T SHAKE THE FEELING SOMEONE ELSE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. FCG: IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN OUR SESSION. FCG: SOLLUX HAS THE SAME INTUITION ABOUT IT AS ME, HE THINKS THERE'S SOMETHING FII2HY ABOUT IT.

If Sollux is the one who smells a rat, then maybe the mechanism of the Mistake relates to one of his interests, such as coding. Sollux would surely notice the telltale signs of a botched ~ATH script, or other supernatural programming error. 

Sburb’s source code doesn’t control the Medium - but it did transport the kids there. Maybe they’ll try to reverse this process, opening a gateway out of the Incipisphere to escape their failed session - but since none of them can code properly, the program actually tears holes in unrelated sessions, such as the trolls’. 

FCG: HE SAYS HE'S WORKING ON TRACING THE ORIGIN OF THIS DISASTER.

I love how Kanaya’s sitting right behind the origin of this disaster. 

FCG: IN A WEIRD WAY I'M SORT OF LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING SOMETHING NEW TO BE PISSED OFF ABOUT. FCG: IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE TO LIVE FOR NOW ANYWAY.

I totally get it. The whole team must be...

Actually, let’s think about this. Now that I’m familiar with all the trolls, how do I think each of them is reacting to their failure? 

Aradia saw this coming, of course. Before the session, she was completely 0k with their inevitable failure - but now that she’s partially alive again, that might be about to change. We do know that she’s going to be uncomfortable with Project Trolling - but why? 

Tavros misses Prospit. That aside, he’s probably just happy to get to relax after their month-long campaign. 

Sollux is suspicious. Something has gone very wrong, and he suspects that the cause lies outside the session. Plus, he’s apparently been spending a lot of time with Feferi... 

Nepeta probably misses the outdoors. We don’t know much about her role in the session, so I can’t tell if she’s going to be heavily involved in the current crisis. What’s a Rogue to do? 

Kanaya is surrounded by her scared, confused teammates, and her level-headedness is surely being tested. She’s probably working closely with more reasonable trolls like Karkat, and desperately scanning Rose’s guide for any clues about their situation. Once she realizes the truth, she’s going to be livid. 

Terezi’s skills lie with people. She’s keeping a close eye on her peers, trying to figure out how they’re responding to this disaster, and who might become a problem. She also finds the whole thing kind of funny. 

Isn’t it awful, Vriska, to be forced into a loss through no fault of your own?

Equius probably blames the session’s failure on its lowblood leader. He might try to take command, but I think he’ll be distracted by relationship drama with Aradia. That one ain’t gonna last.

Gamzee hasn’t been paying attention, and still thinks the session is in full swing. He’s just chillin’. 

Eridan doesn’t understand what went wrong, and doesn’t care - he’s still struggling with the fallout of Alternian societal collapse. Unlike Equius, he has no relationships to distract him, and I’m expecting an actual coup attempt. 

Feferi has grown closer to Sollux, who is about to locate the humans. She’s probably involved in this search, since she’s going to unite the two races. 

FCG: LAST SWEEP'S EVE WAS PROBABLY THE LAST HAPPY MEMORY I HAVE IN FACT. FCG: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO FOR THE LAST HOLIDAY? FCG: ANYONE? FCG: I REMEMBER MY LUSUS HAD BEEN GONE FOR DAYS AND I WAS STARTING TO GET WORRIED. FCG: BUT THEN HE FINALLY RETURNED, TRIUMPHANT. FCG: HE BROUGHT THE FRESH BEHEMOTH LEAVING INTO OUR HIVE, AND TOGETHER WE DECORATED IT. FCG: AND FCG: I DUNNO FCG: THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY, I'M GETTING A LUMP IN MY SQUAWK BLISTER.

Alternia hates its young.

It hates them. It really does. They’re forced to prove their worth in the brooding caverns before they can even speak - and even if they survive, many of them will be murdered by the state for arbitrary reasons. They’re killed for being single, for being mutants, and for standing too close to a body of water, for fuck’s sake. This planet hates the children who call it home.

But they still have holidays. 

If that isn’t the most bittersweet thing I’ve ever heard. Alternia scoffs at art, fashion, peace and family, but in a strange twist of fate, it does not scoff at Sweep’s Eve - presumably, the troll equivalent of New Year’s Eve. On this brutal, pragmatic planet, these kids celebrate the simple joy of a new beginning - just like us. 

There’s a crumb of warmth baked into Alternian society, despite everything its leaders have done to stamp it out. 

FCG: I GUESS I'M DONE. FCG: I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW FCG: ON THE STEEL FLOOR OF THIS FRIGID METEOR DRIFTING THROUGH THE BLACK UNCARING VOID OF OUR NULL SESSION. FCG: NULL, KIND OF LIKE THIS MEMO I GUESS

For its inhabitants, this warmth can be rather hard to find... 

But it’s there. 

[selfspinninglies]

Cerebral

tws/cws: body horror, brain fuckery (idk what else to call it), descriptions of overstimulation/sensory ickyness, very brief mentions of both vomiting and self harm, shitty writing from yours truly

wordcount: 929

notes: did a secret santa event in a discord server and this is what I did, but I might end up continuing it . idk yet . I hope they like it because this thing took me foreverrr

Access denied.

Access denied.

Access denied.

Tendrils. Twisting, touching, examining, attaching. Like curious little leeches. Except instead of draining and taking they gave.

Sensations. Textures. Feelings. Information. So much information. They felt like their brain would explode right out of their skull. Buzzing, electrical, diluted thoughts.

They're being exposed to information they never would've known. It's unnatural yet far from artificial. Currents of consciousness flickered in and out, barely understandable among the others. Rain falling into the ocean, individual yet part of the whole.

Unexpectedly, the technodrome wasn't one mind, a strand of being, but an entire network of interconnections, spiraling together like a knot, neverending conflicting thoughts and feelings of their own. Sprawling out into this vessel. The technodrome. They almost forgot where they were.

It was so easy to lose yourself in the constant stream of feelings. Maybe that was on purpose. They weren't sure if it(?) even had programming, but they knew that if it did, everything written in code was purposeful.

A purpose. What was the purpose of this thing? It felt wrong to call it that. A thing. It was a living database, collections of information and ideas. Like brains, almost, even if artificial. How advanced was kraang technology? Questions, yet no answers.

Another thread among the others. Their thoughts buzzed along with the rest. Lost among the current. Wondering if they would even get a response. Inputs, outputs.

Error messages blare in the background. Panic. What was happening? There was a disconnect from their outer vessel body. It was barely theirs. Poking and prodding. Examination. Was it fit for use? Leeches again. Inspection. Mess of tentacles. Sensory hell, slime and feelings and fluid and gross. Eugh. Don't slip back, focus. What happened.

Access denied.

Access denied.

Access denied? To what? They weren't trying to access anything. Everything was orderly until a few moments ago. A disturbance. Busy. No more poking.

Noise. Outside noise. Voices. Talking. External. Threat. Familiar voices. Who?

The asset you are trying to access is occupied.

...Asset? Which asset? What was trying to access it?

It was incredibly difficult to see outside of the console. Despite having an external form, it wasn't as active or useful because of the disturbance. Plus they weren't sure how to function it while being able to concentrate on other things. Everything was foreign. New. Scary. what am i even doing what is happening nononono everything is wrong all wrong wrong wrong wrong

Responses. Electrical sensations. Everything was fine. Everything would be as long as this thing threat was gone.

Movements, pulling, dragging, attachment. Leeches are back. This time their body was being moved, puppeted, not simply inspected. It was fit for use. A good vessel. No longer theirs.

Their vision is shifted out of wherever it was before. Everything is blurred and yellow-tinted, like they're looking through a dirty camera lense.

They try to blink to clear their vision. Nothing happens. They try to move something, anything, desperately, but nothing happens.

They feel things happening. Their body being altered to better fit its new purpose.

Tendrils trail around their body, sticking onto their scales and fusing with their being. It felt horrid. Sickening sensations. They would've vomited by now if they had any semblance of control.

Their skin feels itchy and gross. They can do nothing to fix it. Scratch it get it off out out get out of me get off leave please this is mine not yours off-

Their body shambles towards whatever was infront of them. Their vision was still strange, so they couldn't really tell, but they could make out colors. Different shades of green. Red, blue, orange..

Wait.

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT nononono anything but this shit FUCK.

The threat had been identified.

Maybe they would get lucky. Maybe it wouldn't be able to pilot their body well enough to do any damage. They knew this was all wishful thinking, but if there was any time for irrational thoughts it was probably now.

They didn't doubt their siblings abilities, but they didn't doubt theirs either. They'd kicked a lot of ass, and this made their body stronger. It didn't have any sense of mercy either, so in short, them and everyone involved were fucked.

Like an idiot, they tried to move their body again. The definition of insanity was trying the same thing over and over again in hopes of a different result, so maybe they've lost it. It was better then doing nothing and letting it happen. They hoped that somehow their efforts would amount to something, even though they knew better.

Their body moved again, (if you could even call it theirs anymore) getting closer to their siblings. It seemed inexperienced with piloting a body like theirs, but it was unfortunately a fast learner. Shuffling quickly turned into full steps. Closer, closer.

They weren't sure what was happening anymore. As time went on they felt more distant from their physical form. The dissonance of the technodrome's inner workings began to buzz in the back of their mind again. They felt themself slipping despite their rising panic and desperate efforts.

Despite their hatred for metaphors they felt like they were a fly in a spider's web. Trying and struggling again and again with no result. Small. Afraid. Unable to fix anything. Save themself.

Everything felt distant. They felt their hands grip something metal. High grade titanium familiar against their palms, familiar shape curled around their fingers. Thoughts about fighting tactics and a specific battle style being picked through.

They didn't know what happened next.

[acowardinmordor]

I have mentioned this a couple times in a couple of ways, but I need to talk it out. It's my real life stuff, so scroll on if you're only following for the Stranger Things stuff. It's long, and I'm under NDAs, so its delightfully vague.

Real life is currently Real rough.

I am very susceptible to the desire to be the superhero. For good or ill, it's something I am capable of in my job. It's sort of my specialty. I get brought in on disaster jobs to land the plane. Or I get brought in because they know they need to run a skeleton team, and I am able to wear a lot of hats. Yeah, my rate is high, but I can cover several roles on my own. Not permanently, and not at full capacity, but if you need part of an artist and part of a modeller and part of a td and part of a fab designer and part of a construction and vendor manager, I can do all that. It's a weird skill set. When I have left projects midway through it takes multiple people to replace me. One time it took four.

I do anything I can, legitimately, to get what I know into other people's brains. I do not like single points of failure, either in rigging or in design. One person should not be the hinge for a project's success.

Just. look. I have been told directly, by industry legends who I deeply respect, that I'm exceptional. This is why I am susceptible to superhero dreams.

My current project is a shit show. Hand to god, if someone lit the building on fire, we'd be in better shape because insurance would kick in and we'd get time and money back to fix this mess. If it can go wrong, it has gone wrong. We were supposed to open four months ago. We are crossing our fingers to open before september. Every permit has had issues. Every product I order has had a turnaround issue, a sudden price spike, a stock issue, or a usability issue. We are massively over budget.

In theory my job title is Lead Design. In practice, my job is Get It Open.

That is not unique in my life. Sure, this is more disaster than usual, but this is my specialty.

The problem is that the company might not survive if we push to september. Like. Peoples income is hinging on me pulling some miracles. Not just the owners, though they'd be fucked. Artists and assistants and interns.

Yes, I could lower my standards and let this be meh.

But that is anathema to me. I have had the next chapter of FtB for months, but its still not right, so I keep retouching it and trying to make it good enough for my standards. This is not a place I compromise. I don't put my name on projects I won't stand by. And I'm in too deep. If I have to work 7 for the next two months, I will. I'll balance it with my body's tendency to try to kill me, but I don't let my projects fail.

It's so bad the owner dips out early and shuts down when told about whatever new bullshit we've encountered. So I've just stopped telling him. If it doesn't need his input to correct, he doesn't need to know its happening. He gets looped in as a 'hey we had an issue, its corrected, we'll be back on schedule in X days, which fits in schedule'

Again, this is my job. I am very good at it. I am paid well.

The pat that is making me insane is that about half the problems are things that I could have prevented if I'd realized earlier no one else was looking for them. Its stuff that shouldn't be my job, but I know enough to see the imminent issue, and bring in someone to prevent it. The other half are things that I specifically, explicitly pointed out as disasters in waiting, and was outright told that I was overreacting or that the thing I was asking for was unnecessary and a waste of time.

I don't believe in saying I told you so. Either they already know, or they won't listen if I say it. It's also crass. Its frustrating as fuck though. We have to rebuild stuff and redo stuff bc errors got missed. those errors would have been caught in a fab design review. I was treated like I was crazy when I asked for those drawings six months ago. We're getting fucked by it now.

So. Yeah, Everyday I ride my bike to the office -- cause yeah, I started commuting by bike which is great but also sweaty -- and my brain gives me all sorts of fabulous ideas and inspiration to write. And then work all day and suffer. And then ride home and am deluged by inspiration while riding. Then I get home and all the energy saps out of my pores and it takes hours before my brain has shifted gears enough to properly write. but then its past 9, on good days, and past 11 on bad days. Lately, its all been bad days.

Oh, and I'm having many more seizures than usual, my AC is crap so my house was over 90 last weekend, I angered my leg on my bike because I had to slam on the brakes, politics is Like That, and the guy I've had a crush on is being inexplicable.

So.

It's a very strange blend of infuriating, fulfilling, exhausting, and anxiety inducing.

I miss writing.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hiii Dani honey, how are you? Its been a loooong time. I have been studying, I recently started a new career and I am currently studying for the end of semester exams, that is why I have completely disappeared. I hope you haven't forgotten me, I definitely haven't forgotten TLND, I think about it every day. That's why I'm here: recommend a song. The song (released in 1970) is called "La Nave del Olvido" (the ship of oblivion? the oblivion ship? the ship of forgotten? I don't know how to translate the title) by José José, mexican singer and actor, although the version I give you is an official cover made by Cristian Catro, mexican singer (also José José appears in Cristian Castro's video clip awwww), and another version by Mon Laferte, a chilean singer. The original version is also very good but Cristian's version brings back special memories with my mom and that why it is my favorite. I also recommend Mon Laferte's because she made a very interesting version and it is beautiful to hear the female version of the song. After all this very long introduction JJAJAAJ I'll give you the lyrics translated into English so you can read it because I swear IT'S SO TLND ALEC it makes me cry I'm literally reliving all of Alec's moments after Magnus asks him for a divorce this is my soundtrack Version by Cristian Castro: https://youtu.be/Q3_PRhm5iZc?si=m39UASpbZUfuJuv7 Mon Laferte version: https://youtu.be/3Ar9riR2z1E?si=oZf8mGUL6iY3Ezzv

LYRICS FROM LA NAVE DEL OLVIDO Wait The ship of oblivion has not yet departed Let us not condemn what we have experienced to shipwreck For our yesterday, for our love, I ask you Wait I still have springs left in my hands To fill you with all new caresses That would die in my hands if you ever leave Wait a little, a little more To take my happiness away Wait a little, a little more I would die if you ever leave Wait a little, a little more To take my happiness away Wait a little, a little more I would die if you ever leave Wait I still have joys to give you I have a thousand nights of love to give you I give you my life in exchange for you staying Wait I wouldn't understand my morning if you were gone And I even allow you to lie about your love I would adore you even if you didn't love me Wait a little, a little more To take my happiness away Wait a little, a little more I would die if you ever leave Wait a little, a little more To take my happiness away Wait a little, a little more I would die if you ever leave Wait a little, a little more To take my happiness away Wait a little, a little more

(Sorry if there are any translation errors, I don't study translation but I did the best I could translating the meaning of the lyrics without trying to be too literal but without losing all the pain and fear that is transmitted in the original lyrics -you know sometimes some things have more meaning and feeling in their original language but we try to do the best when we translate-) I hope you like it Dani!!! And I hope you are doing very well✨💜

I really REALLY liked this. Thank you for translating it for me. The song felt so emotional even without me understanding the lyrics.

“The ship of oblivion” almost feels like a metaphor for their relationship (not for their love, because we know that was never lost) 🩵

Thanks again 😇😇

[casteliacityramen]

Munday Tuesday Lore Post: Humanity - Threat Assessment REBUTTAL

Scribe and Artificer J., I am writing to further inform you of our opinions on the subject of your most recent letter. Yes, your 'e-mails' did go through. Stop sending them. No, we will not accept the "good old-Unovan values of one on one combat" on the issue, no matter how many "fite me" messages you send. I am aware that this 'e-mail' is a lot more convenient than our courier system, but perhaps you are spending too much time on this "internet" that you so adore. This new messaging system of yours is enough to handle, as is. I feel that I must, at the very least, clarify our reasoning behind our verdict. For the most part, the council agrees with your assessment. Yes. Humanity is destined for greatness. Yes. Humanity shows limitless promise. Yes. We do take inspiration from their innovation (it'd be strange not to address this due to the way we talk to each other now). But humanity is an abnormality to the point of absurdity. They are our precursors, long before His Majesty Arceus gifted us with life, yet they still show signs of incremental growth. They repeat mistakes. They are prone to infighting. Their restrictive age keeps them from making wise decisions. For Arceus' sake, they only recently realized that it may be important to write things down. They are too unpredictable. Worst of all, they possess a power far greater than you give them credit for. Their abnormal power to persuade. Like you say, they have made complex societies, and have even gone as far as to borrow pokemons' powers for a mutually beneficial gain. What's mind-boggling is how oblivious they are to their power. No one is arguing with you that Humanity has cemented themselves as the top sapient life on the planet. Our scholars still debate on whether or not they should be classified as psychic-types due to this feat and the discussion is far from resolved. Perhaps this discussion would have been finished were it not for the fact that they are constantly changing, as you have mentioned in your assessment. Frankly, my dear friend, if I may be honest, humanity terrifies us. Imagine, if you will, the Order brought into chaos because we were convinced to make a decision without careful deliberation. Like you say, humanity barrels its way towards greatness. However, we cannot afford such rashness due to the gravity of our work. Which brings me to our next point. I understand your frustrations in our decision-making process. In comparison to mortal life, you are right in that we take too long to make a decision. This is an issue we hope to address in the future. However, these rules are written in blood. Yours included, if I'm not mistaken. We guide the entirety of existence in their path--there is no margin for error. You, of all people, should know this, given your current assignment. Your mind seems cluttered. Perhaps you need a reduction in your duties. As scribe, artificer, and now warden of some… particular probationary members, you seem to be spread thin. Do let me know if it's too much for you. Kindly, Head Scholar and Council Member Lok P. S. Are we still on for Dungeons and Dragonites? Steward Lia would like to join us. P. S. S. I know I've been pencil pushing for the past couple thousand years, but I bet I could kick your ass. Even with your blessing from Lady Victini.

[heartlandians]

Filling Empty Spaces (Amy/Mitch), part 226

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11->.

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won’t be too many grammar errors.

****

The lull of the truck was a stark contrast to the hurricane inside Mitch's head as he drove away from Leah's place few hours later.

Their parting words at her driveway echoed in his ears as Mitch kept his eyes on the horizon that seemed unattainable. It was hard for him to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

"Don't be a stranger", Leah had said as they had broken off their embrace in front of his truck as they had said their goodbyes.

"I try not to be", Mitch had promised, a gentle smile on his lips. "Take care."

Coming to visit Leah, he had had no idea what he was in for, but everything had gone so much better than he could have ever imagined. It was hard to believe it was all even real.

There had been a point, just few days ago, where Mitch had realized he had not really thought about Leah for a long period of time. It had been strange to think about just how much time had passed in order for that to happen, as he had done nothing but think about her after their break-up back in the day, even after years later, due to the situation they had found themselves in.

Then, just some days ago, he had come up with the idea of reaching out to her, not knowing if she'd ever respond or would even have a neutral response to him.

Now, he was leaving her place with a promise to stay in touch in the future.

It had all happened so fast eventually, and yet, it had taken them for years to get to this point.

Everything - the memories, the speculation, the mixed feelings - had been living inside Mitch's mind for years now, but at this very moment it felt like he was literally moving from the past to the future as his truck was heading back home.

It wasn't all cleared out yet, but this had been a huge first step.

Dwelling in the transition made Mitch overwhelmed, and it started to feel like some type of anxious sensation was working its way out of him, through him, like a fever spell.

After he started feeling his breathing getting more shallow and a familiar tingling of a panic attack rising up to the surface, Mitch pulled up the shoulder of the road and turned off the engine, trying to make sure he wouldn't involuntarily cause an accident.

The blood pounded in his ears which didn't help the sensation of feeling like he was the only man on Earth as there was no other noise than the shortness of his breath and the thudding of his heart on his chest.

With shaking hands, Mitch clutched the steering wheel while it felt like his legs were disappearing as they tingled. He kept closing and opening his eyes repeatedly, hoping the disfigured vision would become normal at some point.

Usually, this type of episode would left him reeling, but now, surprisingly the gasps turned into a relieved laugh.

As if he had been facing a crossroad where he had thought that he was either dying or turning crazy, but instead he had made a 180 and left both of those options behind him.

He wasn't trying to suppress this feeling because there was no use in trying to suffocate it anymore; he had taken the first step and it had gone well. The trigger of this episode was currently being destroyed by a wrecking ball.

Wiping his sweaty forehead, Mitch did his best to calm himself down. When he was able to use his hands again by grabbing the handle of the door, it eventually swung open, letting in fresh air.

Mitch leaned back and closed his eyes, taking a long, slow deep breath. Slowly, but surely, he felt the bile retreating in his throat.

He wasn't sure how long the panic attack had lasted exactly, but for him it had felt like minutes. Usually it could feel longer. Despite that, the aftermath felt the same; his body felt weak now, so there was no use of getting back on the road yet as he didn't want to endanger anyone else - or himself.

Instead, he found his phone from the pocket of his jacket that was spread next to him on the passenger seat and looked up Amy's number.

Mitch knew that Amy was at the rodeo, so she most likely wouldn't answer, but he still wanted to leave her a message. That's what they usually did whenever they wanted to keep in touch when the other one was busy.

It was a nice pick-me-up at the end of the day to hear the other one's voice, telling you about their day.

And just like he had predicted, the phone call went straight to the voicemail.

"Hey, it's me. I hope you're having fun at the rodeo. I don't know when you'll be listening to this message, but I just wanted to let you know I was... thinking about you and felt like reaching out, I guess", Mitch spoke out.

As he was imagining Amy listening to this, he began smiling.

"I'm driving back to Hudson after meeting Leah. It went better than I expected; I'll fill you in later. I appreciate you giving me the support you did so I would be able to do it. Maybe we could meet up tomorrow? Meet at the meadow at dawn, after work? Check out Diablo, while we're at it. I don't know. Let me know. I'd love to hear about your day, too."

His eyes looked around, and Mitch noticed his vision was more clear now. Just thinking about Amy seemed to help him calm down. The feeling of anxiety was replaced with the warm feelings of falling in love.

"Anyway... Uh, yeah. Call me. Or text me, whatever's best for you. Talk to you later. Bye", he finished his message.

Putting the phone away, he sat there for a while, thinking how his natural instinct had been to call Amy. Even though their lives were still very much separate, she had become part of his life in a way he had not expected; even when she wasn't there physically, she was always there in spirit, inspiring him and pushing him on.

Hopefully it would continue to be that way and maybe eventually they could incorporate more time together once Amy was ready to tell about them to the rest of her family.

When Mitch had calmed down, he pulled the door shut and then turned the key in the ignition. After he had steered the truck back on the road, his fingers looked to turn on the radio.

Maybe singing along to his favorite tunes would help him feel even better.

****

After doing his evening chores and checking everything was okay with Maverick and Whisky, Mitch took out his phone from his back pocket, hoping maybe Amy had reached out to him by now.

When there was no call or even a text message, Mitch wondered if maybe she had just been so busy or was too tired to reply.

Still, he checked the bars on the upper corner, making sure if wasn't about having a bad connection.

He didn't want to be too pushy, because he knew that Amy was so busy with so many things, but Mitch still wanted to let her know he was thinking about her, so instead of calling, he figured text was more lowkey approach.

"Hope you got home okay" and a little heart emoji was what he sent out before putting the phone away and getting ready to brush his teeth.

****

The next morning, when Mitch's alarm went off, he reached out to turn it down. The alarm not only reminded him that it was time to wake up, but also that it was a new day.

Maybe Amy had replied as she was usually up this early too, doing chores, and that was usually her "alone time" where she often sent him a "good morning" text.

But when he opened their conversation, Mitch noticed his message from last night had not even gone through.

"Huh..." Mitch hummed and figured he could try turning his phone off and back on to make sure it wasn't his side that was blocking the messages.

Perhaps there was an update that his phone was pushing and that's why it was being annoying.

While his phone was getting back on, Mitch got up and walked to the bathroom, leaving his phone to wait for him on the kitchen table.

After doing his morning washing up, he came back and checked the phone again. According to its status, it should have been working just fine.

When he started to feel a strange feeling at the pit of his stomach, Mitch had to re-evaluate if he was being clingy or if there was cause for concern.

He didn't want to scare Amy away, but at the same time he couldn't deny he cared to know what was going on with her.

The problem with this situation they were in was that they weren't openly together, therefore he couldn't just check from Jack or Lisa, who both lived at Heartland as well, if they had seen Amy and if she was just busy.

Mitch didn't even care about getting a reply, but instead his main concern was to know Amy was okay.

To calm himself down, he tried to go over the situation with the facts that he had.

Yesterday, Amy had attended a rodeo in Calgary with Jade and her girlfriend. She had had a ticket for Georgie as well, but due to their current situation, he was under the impression Georgie was staying at Wyatt's (for now?), so she had probably not joined them.

No, wait, Mitch then recalled.

What had Amy said about that job interview the other day? The guy had texted him, and she had pushed that over to the next day - which had been yesterday.

So, had she done both?

But from what he could recall them talking, Amy had said that she was planning to leave early in the morning to the rodeo. So had the job interview been later in the day then?

If that was the case, it was no wonder she wasn't replying. She must have been exhausted, on top of looking after Lyndy.

Still, Mitch couldn't shake the feeling. He didn't like being in the dark, but he had to keep reminding himself that he needed to be patient.

One of the things he had struggled with in the military had been not knowing what was going to happen and when, but it had been something he could have not changed, so he had just had to adapt.

So maybe he could do it again.

Amy would reply eventually.

He had to trust that.

****

Later that day, when Mitch mounted Maverick for work, he took out his phone from his pocket and made a call to Tim, so his partner would know that he was on his way to meet him as they had plans to check on the cattle.

Tim didn't always check on his text messages, so it was better to call him. Not to mention, Mitch could also test out if his phone was working properly.

Today, it even took him a while to answer his phone, so Tim definitely wouldn't have noticed any text.

"Yes?" the older cowboy's stern voice on the other end asserted.

"Well, hello to you too", Mitch said.

He knew Tim wasn't typically a ray of sunshine, but Mitch still expected people to have good manners when interacting with other people.

Still, he wasn't going to get hung up on it or take it personally, but Mitch did always tried his best to point out when Tim's attitude could use some work, because maybe eventually he would decide to do something about it if he was told about it enough.

"Sorry, it's just been... long 24 hours", Tim sighed, still sounding like he was stressed. "What is it?"

"I was just letting you know I'm on my way. Do we meet at the usual place?" Mitch checked, collecting his reins and slowly giving Maverick a cue to start walking.

"Oh, right..." Tim sighed at the other end. It sounded like whatever weight he had had on his shoulder had suddenly doubled. "Forgot about that. -- Listen, I can't make it today."

"Everything okay...?" Mitch's annoyance was now turning to worry, as he knew Tim had had health scare and a surgery due to it somewhat recently and it was almost starting to sound like maybe this was more about something like that than him just having a bad day.

"Amy's in a hospital, so I'm gonna stick by her side today-- or however long this is going to take", Tim said, his sentence making Mitch heart drop.

"H-hospital...?" he echoed. "What's happened...?"

He was trying to remain calm, even though his whole body was suddenly trembling.

"She was at the rodeo yesterday and hit her head really bad, and they're keeping her in a coma for now. They're still running all kinds of tests and... we don't know how long this will take", Tim summed up. "It's just..." his voice suddenly sounded strained, like he was choking back tears.

Mitch had so many questions, but at the same time he didn't know if it was his place to ask them.

"Anyway. If you could just check on the cattle today on your own. Or maybe ask a friend to join you. We're all a bit tied up here. I don't want to leave her side till we know more", Tim requested.

At first Mitch couldn't understand why Tim was even worrying about the cattle right now, because Amy had gotten seriously hurt and that should have been their main talking point, but he then remembered that Tim actually didn't understand just how personally invested he, too, was.

What Mitch wanted Tim to tell him was more about Amy's situation, but in Tim's mind, it wasn't really something he figured Mitch should be concerned with because he didn't know that he and Amy were together.

Tim only saw Mitch as his business partner.

Right now, Mitch didn't want to ride out and check on the cattle like Tim had requested. What he really wanted to do was rush to the hospital as well, but he wasn't family.

And none of Amy's family even knew he was dating her.

Well, except for Georgie - and Lou.

But time for that kind of announcement wasn't now, he figured. The family had enough to deal with as it was.

"S-sure, absolutely", Mitch replied, trying to keep himself breathing. "I hope Amy's going to be okay", he added, feeling his chest tighten.

"As do we all", Tim agreed. "I'll let you know when-- if something changes. I trust you to run the business on your own for now."

"Of course. Thanks, Tim. Take care of yourself", Mitch said before they ended the call.

Mitch pulled the reins and stopped Maverick. He stared at the phone for what seemed like minutes at first, then looked around him. It was a beautiful summer day and yet everything felt grim.

These last 24 hours had been so surreal and they were getting even stranger.

Yesterday and this morning, he had been anxiously waiting for Amy to return his text, but now he didn't even know if she was going to survive this traumatic accident.

How long it would have taken for him to get the news had he not called Tim now?

If he had thought waiting for a text would drive him crazy, waiting for updates about this was going to be even worse.

[m34gs]

Twisted Wonderland Saw AU Ask Time! 👀

Everything is perfectly set. Months of planning, preparing, testing, and many late night are finally paying their dues. Victims? Secured. Traps? Tested and will work without a hitch. Witnesses? Never been a problem. Now, time to sit back and watch what will... what's this? Why is their phone ringing? Who would call them at this...? Wait. They pale and scramble to dig their phone out of their pocket. Caller ID says "Yuu". Reflexes snap and the phone call is answered.

"Uh hello? It's me. We're still on for tonight, right?"

Tonight? They blink before everything rushes to their brain and the only coherent thought is, "Shit, I had plans with Yuu".

Please tell me... 1) What were their plans with Yuu 2) What is their excuse? and 3) How long do they keep Yuu waiting?

I am SO EXCITED to answer this ask!!!! (further discussion with Kim clarified that rescheduling is a last resort; the boys would much rather avoid it if possible, and I fully agree!) In the interests of this post not becoming an entire novel all on its own, I will be grouping the characters into their respective dorms and giving one response per dorm.

No explicit details on the traps in this one; I don't think there are any warnings I would put for this. The rest is under a cut simply because it is so long! Hope you enjoy :D

Heartslaybul:

What were the plans with Yuu: The plans were tea-time with Yuu's five Heartslaybul friends, and then a sleepover with Ace and Deuce. Trey is the only one who showed up on time, though Cater said he is on his way. Riddle is the one Yuu called, as it's very odd for him to be late.

What is their excuse: Riddle would have gone over his plans meticulously. There is no way he would miss anything that was written on his calendar for the day...except that he wrote "tea with Yuu" on the wrong date. He owns up to that mistake easily without letting on as to what he is currently up to (he's gotten much better at owning up to his mistakes and allowing himself to have human errors). He then says he is just out for a walk with Ace and Deuce, to cover for them as well.

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: He tells Yuu it will likely be an hour as they "need to come back home and then get dressed in appropriate teatime attire" (Yuu doesn't question this, since they figure there probably is some rule about teatime attire that Riddle wants to observe).

Savanaclaw:

What were the plans with Yuu: Watching a Spelldrive Tournament on TV and having snacks together. Something cozy and casual. Except, the tournament comes on in 5 minutes and Yuu's Savanaclaw friends haven't shown up yet, so they call Ruggie (Yuu finds Ruggie to be the more responsible one when it comes to being on time, though it should be noted that Leona tries very hard when it comes to spending time with Yuu).

What is their excuse: Ruggie spouts some excuse about how some family stuff came up for Leona. Leona's trying to manage a crisis from a distance. They'll still be there, he says. It's a good excuse because Yuu is the kind of person to be understanding and not pry into the affairs of the Royal Family.

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: Ruggie says Jack will be there in 10 minutes. Ruggie and Leona will follow when the "crisis" is dealt with. Leona makes sure the trap will be over in less than 30 minutes.

Octavinelle:

What were the plans with Yuu: Dinner and drinks after hours at the lounge, and Yuu would be spending the evening at the trio's home (firmly believe those three live together in this AU). Yuu shows up a little before closing time, but now it's last call and the waitstaff are starting to clean things up and it's creeping closer to the closing hour, and it's entirely unusual for Floyd to not have found them and hugged them by now...

What is their excuse: Azul answers the phone. The excuse he gives is "there was a disruption at one of our other locations in the city; and unfortunately it escalated to needing myself there to resolve it". Yuu understands customer service jobs well. They shudder to think what awful kind of customer must have caused such a disruption that Azul felt the need to go there with both Jade AND Floyd.

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: Floyd advocates that they should completely abandon the trap and go find Shrimpy. He's upset that Shrimpy has been waiting so long for him and he wants to hug them immediately. Jade shows a bit more restraint but does suggest they move the trap up to tomorrow. Azul will not allow this; he insists it needs to be done tonight. However, he's willing to compromise. He sends Floyd and Jade to greet Yuu immediately and make them feel comfortable and happy, and he will oversee the trap by himself this time. He will join them when he arrives (estimated time for Azul: 2 hours. Less if the victim dies before then).

Scarabia:

What were the plans with Yuu: Going to a festival together. (Listen, your mafia au has given me Festival Brain Rot, lol). Yuu is ready to go, but Kalim and Jamil, who insisted on picking them up, aren't there yet...and they're worried plans have changed.

What is their excuse: Yuu calls Jamil. He quickly spins them some sort of tale of Kalim not being able to decide what to wear. At the same time, he uses Kalim's phone to text another worker for the Asim family and request they come to a location nearby to deliver festival clothes for both him and Kalim to put on, and for the car and driver to wait at that location for them.

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: It's Kalim's trap, and he always has his designed to run from a distance so that he doesn't have to watch the person die if they fail. They can leave as soon as it is set up; so Yuu only ends up waiting twenty minutes. This time would not change much with Jamil's traps, as he makes inescapable ones, so it doesn't matter to him if the person makes it through or not. Jamil only has to step away momentarily to deal with the trap if the person succeeds and survives the trap, which he can easily excuse as some duty or other to the Asim family that he needs to manage.

Pomefiore:

What were the plans with Yuu: Spa night. It was going to be a really relaxing time for all of them.

What is their excuse: Vil is extremely upset with himself for forgetting (He stuck a sticky note to the calendar regarding something related to his acting work, and the note covered up the spa night with Yuu). He tells Yuu honestly what happened with the calendar. As the cover story, he says that he is just out with Rook and Epel on a walk.

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: Vil doesn't want to leave the trap because he feels it's his responsibility. Rook volunteers to go and look after Yuu immediately. Epel would feel guilty leaving Vil alone, so he stays. Besides, Rook is better at lying than he is. He needs Rook and Vil to help him out if Yuu were to ask any questions. Rook tells Yuu that Vil and Epel are getting some groceries to cook a late dinner, and they are all back within an hour.

Ignihyde:

What were the plans with Yuu: Idia and Ortho were going to have an anime marathon with Yuu. Yuu is at their place, waiting outside to be let in. Idia actually receives the notification from their doorbell/surveillance system about half a second before Yuu's call lights up his phone. Luckily for him, all his traps can be managed from a distance.

What is their excuse: Idia makes up some excuse about misreading the time and going out to pick up a specific snack food he wanted to have for their marathon night.

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: They are nearly there instantly, just stopping on the way to buy a metric fuck-ton of snacks to add credibility to their story. Yuu only waits about 10 minutes. Idia checks on the trap periodically using his phone which is connected to the cameras, but Yuu is used to him checking his phone once in a while during conversations or movies since he plays a lot of video games with time-sensitive quests.

Diasomnia:

What were the plans with Yuu: Dinner and movie night together as a group. Yuu is hosting, but no one has arrived yet...did they get the date wrong? They call Lilia.

What is their excuse: Lilia tells Yuu a (far too detailed) story about how his lunch disagreed very much with his bowels and the other three were helping him out with getting medicine and lost track of time. They will be there shortly, sans Lilia who will stay behind for his "stomach troubles".

How long do they keep Yuu waiting: Malleus teleports there instantly, and he is deeply sorry (perhaps he kisses their hand in apology?👀👀👀). Silver and Sebek have to travel across the city. It takes them about 20 minutes. Lilia stays for the duration of the trap. He arrives about an hour later, claiming his stomach issues to have "resolved".

Here are my thoughts! Thank you so much for this ask, it was a lot of fun to answer!!! Let me know what you think :)