#i was looking forward to this too :( and had to read all the fan theories and not be allowed to say anything

[gavillain]

My thoughts and theories after Agatha All Along episode 3. Read no further if you haven't seen the episode yet.

SHARON NOOOOOOO :'( Honestly, with the way Agatha brought her along essentially to be a meat shield, it's not surprising that she died so early on the journey down the Witches' Road, but I was still surprised that they killed off the comic relief this early. But I caught that they didn't add Sharon's hair to the antidote when brewing the potion, and I think that'll be discussed next episode. The show definitely had to establish the stakes of the Road as life or death early on, and Sharon was the only character who they COULD kill off since she was the only one without a mystery to solve. Still, sad to see her go.

In more important news, though, MEPHISTO GOT NAME DROPPED. HE'S COMING ASDFGHJKL; Listen, after all the speculation we were all doing during WandaVision about Mephisto showing up, to hear him get referenced makes me EXCITED to see if that's just going to be a world building detail or if he's going to be relevant in the story.

Agatha giving up her son, Nicholas Scratch, for the Darkhold was established as a part of her reputation in this episode. The trailers confirm that it's a bit more complicated than that, so I'm curious to know the full story. Right now, I'm theorizing that the hair in the locket is Nicholas's, and, if you remember from WandaVision, she plucked that locket off of her mother's corpse after stealing mommy's powers. So, I'm fairly certain Agatha sacrificing Nicholas is tied in with why her mother tried to have her executed back in the 1600s, and maybe Mama Harkness did something that resulted in her grandson's death? I dunno, but I wanna know! I think Nicholas Scratch IS still alive, though, and I think he's going to be the twist Big Bad of the show.

Teen is pretty obviously Billy Kaplan, and it's so obvious in fact that I wonder if it's going to be a bait and switch and he's somehow Nicholas? But like... maybe I'm overthinking it and it's only obvious that he's Billy to us comics fans. For normies watching this with only WandaVision and Multiverse of Madness for context, him being Billy WOULD be a really interesting twist, so we'll see! Regardless, he's the only person on the Road who I am reasonably certain is going to make it out alive.

The hallucinations for Lilia, Jennifer, and Alice were all interesting, though they left more questions than answers: *Lilia saw what looked like Russian royalty taunting her saying "they're all dead" as they took on more decayed and corpselike forms. I joked to my boyfriend that it was the Romanovs, but that's honestly not necessarily out of the question. Lilia in the comics is the "queen of the gypsies" in Scarlet Witch's childhood, so maybe in this verse, she was a part of the Sokovian royal family before their dynasty was killed off by revolutionaries that led to the political turmoil of Sokovia that we saw in Age of Ultron. Being a psychic, I'm willing to bet Lilia survived because she saw the massacre coming but no one else believed her, sort of a Cassandra figure. I could be WAY off base, but I like my theory.

*Jennifer is the one who I have the least read on her hallucination with the weird man trying to drown her. We know that she is bound, unable to use her powers, so is this man maybe the one who bound her? Or is he someone else tied to the events that led to her being bound? She's been bound for a little over a hundred years, and the man's clothes seemed to be from that time period. In the comics, she's from Florida and was an ally of Man-Thing, so maybe something in her story is going to tie back into Werewolf by Night? We'll have to see!

*Alice's hallucinations are the most straight forward, she saw her mother weeping because her grandmother had passed away and the mother felt it. We know her mom was a witch, and we can pretty safely assume that the grandmother was one too, I think. The mother mentions that since whatever killed the grandmother got her, now it's after her, and since we know Alice's mom is dead in the present day, that would mean that this mysterious force is now after Alice too. What is this force, though? Alice tells Teen that she has a tattoo that wards off a curse that plagues her family bloodline that her mother made her get, so is it just this curse that's after her or is it connected to something else? In the trailer, we see Alice exploding with fire as a demonic entity emerges from her. I doubt this is Mephisto, since I think if Mephisto has ties to anyone here, it'll be Teen or Rio, but maybe some subordinate of his? In the comics, she and Wanda worked together to defeat a being called Dark Tongji. I think it's likely that he's the being hunting her bloodline.

Then a few notes from earlier:

1. The Salem Seven - I went back to WandaVision for a refresher, and, not counting Agatha's mom, the coven that Agatha murders and drains of their magic in her backstory numbers at seven and they were in Salem... I'm putting money that the Salem Seven is what's left of Agatha's old coven hunting her down, or at least their descendants.

2. Rio keeps getting hints that keep lining up to hint that she's a genderbent version of Blackheart, which has me excited! I don't know if they're actually going to go this route, and her being a "Green Witch" kinda makes it a bit weird. But they keep reiterating "black heart" in relation to her and now they've referenced Mephisto, his father. So I think if Rio isn't literally Blackheart, she's at least possessed by him. We'll have to see. But I do love the crackship of Agatha Harkness/genderbent Blackheart for lesbian Marvel villain lovers. That tickles me XD

Overall, SUPER into this show thus far, and I LOVE that there's so much mystery and intrigue to piece together! I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE FOUR, I NEED IT NOOWWWWWWWWWW

[sweetmoonbeam17]

,

[adventuringblind]

Hi, I noticed (mainly bc u read a lot of your work) that you write a lot of dark/ self harm based/themed fics so I was wondering if you would be comfortable with writing a lestappen x reader with an Ed. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to so ofc feel free to ignore

(Your work is always very well written and I look forward to reading what you post next)

One for you and One for me

Lestappen x Reader

Genre: Angst/hurt comfort

Summary: Nobody is immune to the toxicity of social media, Charles and Max help their girl through it

Warnings: HEAVY ED, toxic media, body dysmorphia, sexual acts are mentioned but nothing happens

Notes: You must be psychic because I you sent this while I'm struggling with my own ED. I hope this helps you as much as it did me! 😊

Masterlist

Social media is something that everyone seems to revolve around. In theory, it could be great. Getting to see photos of friends and family and updates from celebrities you wouldn't otherwise interact with.

But here's the catch: in practice, the entire thing falls apart. People are left with images of things that are unachievable. Photoshop and filters have become everyone's new best friends. People put only their best foot forward and try to look as perfect as possible.

And those who don't? The ones who are criticized? The ones who will never meet that expectation? They are left trying to swim to the surface of a never-ending ocean. Drowning under the weight never being enough.

So, they do what they can. Nothing can be that bad if it makes them feel better, right? What's one meal skipped every day to cut back on calories?

In her case, she'd cut it all out. The idea of perfection and control weigh heavy in the pit of her stomach. The one that is currently growling as she weighs herself for the fifth time that day alone.

It's addicting, really, the feeling she gets from having gone another hour without a meal. The elation of seeing the scale drop in number.

The media and fans had been all over her appearance after going public with Max and Charles. She'd tried to ignore, but there was a piece of her looking for an excuse to dive back into the habits of her teenage years.

Her mother said she never looked like she had an eating disorder. Her father only started compliment her on her appearance once she was significantly underweight.

Max and Charles had been there for the fall. Her habits finally catching up to her when she started working with Redbull. She didn't have the energy to keep up with the schedule and one day had simply collapsed.

She'd gotten better. Promised the two boys they would never be on the verge of losing her like that again.

Now here she is, breaking that promise over the triple header by not eating at all. She'd started slowly, but now she has a chance to speed things up before the two boys notice anything. Too busy to really pay attention to her weight.

Maybe it would've been better if they hadn't been caught eating together. The fans might have a little less leverage to use on her. Maybe if she wasn't wearing something more revealing to a party in Monaco then they wouldn't have noticed how she looks.

The number on the scale is far from perfect, but it'll do for now. She slips on her teamwear that is looser than it was a few days ago. A satisfied but tired smile plays on her lips as she walks out the door.

The paddock is busy prior to the race. cameras are everywhere and she does her best to avoid them. Thankful her job is away from the majority of people. The less the cameras see of her, the better. A small part of her wonders if it would simply be better to disappear or become invisible. Maybe if she's thin enough, she'll be invisible from the side.

The day seems to drag on. The race is good and ends with both Max and Charles on the podium. It's the last race of the triple header meaning they will want to celebrate properly tonight. Maybe they will compliment her more now that she's lost weight. There is a prominent gap in her thighs and maybe will even be light enough for them to carry. The though makes her swoon.

The cheery conversation in the car quickly turns to logistics. Plans for dinner are made and she claims to have eaten while finishing up her work. To hungry to wait any longer.

There is a hesitant pause. They like knowing she ate with visible proof. That being the reason they eat together or at least someone is there to tell she ate if asked. Even if it's a bite.

They don't mention it. Charles orders in while Max drags her out of ear shot. She assumes it's because he is pent up, nothing surprising after a race. But nothing happens and she is left mildly disappointed.

Max cups her face. "I'm sorry we've been so busy."

"That's not your fault."

"No, but-" Max looks hesitant. "We know you haven't been eating. You're exhausted and your clothes don't fit. We can feel your bones when we hold you at night." She looks at Max in horror. "We thought maybe if we just made sure you felt comfortable that you would come to us but it's bad again."

Charles puts hands on her hips. "We'll take it slow, like last time. But please, we love you too much to see you become a shell of yourself again."

They say in that embrace until there is a knock at the door. Max is quick to answer it. He comes back holding their dinner. An extra box sits on top. One she assumes is for her.

"We got you a small salad. Nothing massive, no dressing, just vegetables." Max sets it all out on the table. They keep up casual conversation, so she doesn't feel horribly uncomfortable. Until they notice she is just playing with her food.

"How about, we continue talking, but we take turns taking bites? If you manage three, we'll call it a night," suggests Charles. Goal setting was helpful last time around. One week she took one bite of every meal, the next was two, and so on.

She manages three bites. Each of her own followed by one of theirs.

They all clamber into bed afterwards. Exhaustion hits her hard.

No, it's not perfect or straightforward. Relapses happen but healing is full of ups and downs. But she has people who care and who love her for who she is, not what she looks like. They'd rather her be healthy then bringing herself to the brink of collapse. And she loves them enough to try her best which is all they can ask for.

[bindeds]

do you have any more lucifer crumbs that you can give us please 🥺 i love you and the way you write him please never leave me

first of all, tysm for sticking around as long as you did babe! I appreciate you sm ♥️♥️♥️ and I’m so glad you like the way I write him! You really have no idea how much it means to me that you enjoy it. So sorry I haven’t been posting as of late, been working on an original book, and suddenly I got this spark for Luci.

it’s genuinely been so long since I played poker so I’m sorry if this is wrong but—

˚⟡  ˖  ࣪     ROYALLY  FLUSHED. L.MORNINGSTAR. —   fluff,  sfw, gn reader, 639 words;  you  play  poker  with  Luci  and  he  never  loses. Ever.

Cards fanned out under delicate fingers, masking whatever his lips might have told you without hissing a word. His eyes were willing victims of the spotlight he’d casted himself—he always had known his power, how the very snap of his fingers could cause whole worlds to collapse. But for now, the stare that wrought the very foundation of your technique were worlds enough for him, it seemed.

Lavender lids casted over what one might mistake for bored eyes in a split second’s glance, but the embers in his ruby eyes spelled something far worse—deception. Lust, even, if you only had two more seconds. But given the poker game in front of you, his gaze—as heated as they were—had merely been a shield. You couldn’t read him. Not in the haze of all the other things his pupils might have implied. Not even in his glimmering pink waterline.

The crease in your brow dented further before you flung your cards like it had been a last minute defense.

“Straight!” You declared, still eyeing him up and down and casting an ugly look upon him. 

Lucifer didn’t waver. You weren’t even sure if he had even bothered to look down at your cards, and if you hadn’t known any better you might have said he was almost hypnotized by you, the way his gaze clung to you even after the supposed end of the road.

“Oh, me? It’s nothing—just …” 

With the bow of his wrist, Lucifer revealed his cards to you, and you leaned forward so fast your chair screeched.

“A hand fit for a king, wouldn’t you say?”

“agh!”

Two red diamonds threatened to puncture thumb with the angle he held his cards at. The center cards were all red diamonds too, with an ace, joker and a ten. Lucifer’s cards were a king and queen. 

A royal flush. 

“Lucifer, I know you’re cheating,” you accused him, and his eyes blew wide immediately. “It’s impossible that you’ve won five times in a row!”

“My heart, I warned you fair and square! I’m telling you I’m not pulling your leg when I say I never lose a game of poker!”

“When was the first time you played before this?”

Lucifer coughed, fist to his lips as he tried to stifle it. His eyes zipped between you and the floor countless times before he’d finally spoke up again.

“I uh—when I was teaching—ahem—Charlie how to play.”

“That’s your first time?” You crossed your arms.

“Yes! I saw how the humans had done it once, and I never bothered to play until Charlie had asked me to teach her.”

“Huh …”

“She got frustrated too. I don’t know why I don’t lose.”

Your frown had no longer been one of vexation but one of puzzlement. You were at the cusp of a theory, the light of knowledge ever so close before a hand slithered down your shoulder.

“But hey, you know … I think it’s funny I got both a king and a queen. I haven’t had the other in so, very long …”

Lucifer’s hot breath caressed your cheek before a pillowed kiss was planted.

You looked to him, and those eyes returned again.

But this time, of course, his brows melted, bringing his gaze to a softer edge as he smiled the way the sun would at the horizon, presenting you the colors it held dearest in its burning core.

“Someday, when you’re ready, you wouldn’t just be my queen; if Charlie’s my little Morningstar, you’ll be the star I kneel to amongst all the other ones in the vast night, wishing for just a moment more with you. For even when you give me all your waking days, I find it is not enough.

“It is not enough for how much I burn to always be with you.”

bonus : Lucifer never loses because gambling is the devil’s game 🤭

taglist: @saints-wrapped-in-plastic

[nalyra-dreaming]

Jones confirms that, just like in Rice’s books, Armand is the one who turns Daniel into a vampire. “Will we see that moment of turning? No, but Armand finally made a vampire and clearly made him out of spite,” he says with a laugh. “It looks like it was really not a great moment [between him and Daniel], but that connects those two characters. They will have scenes going forward, obviously.”

This is from the latest Rollins interview. I feel like an idiot now, I was desperately hoping that we would see the turning next season - but while I think Rollins may not reveal everything I don’t think he would outright lie. So we won’t see the turning.

I walked into the finale open to an exclusively present-day DM that might(!) kick-off and I didn’t expect too much given what screeners had warned about. I never thought Daniel would be turned completely off-screen however… I know there’s rumours they might write DM into the past still, but I’m a fan of Daniel and Armand outside of the ship as well and knowing we won’t see Daniel’ turning, probably won’t see anything of his first time with becoming a vampire (because of the time skip) and seeing that Armand might(?) actually have turned someone out of spite makes me just sad.

I also feel a bit off-put by how Rollins is speaking about if, feels a bit like he’s trying to affirm to fans well see more of them together (maybe surprised that so many people are invested?) but also just gives off the vibe that the DM if it all wasn’t fully planned out in the moment of writing. Which sucks when you decide to have one turn the other! This frankly does not inspire confidence and make me feel like my favourite characters been reduced to plot devices (in good writing characters can be both character and plot tool but now this doesn’t feel like it).

F*ck I’m sorry, I realise this is not a fun post to read, I just feel really upset. Thank you for hearing me out!

Okay. So.

I let this simmer a bit (and I still have a lot of catching up to do with the interviews, since, well, vacation 😅, so thanks for the quotes).

BUT.

You know what I was chewing on? Armand and… spite.

When does Armand do something out of spite.

And… I came up only with one distinct event that I, personally, would call spite, namely when he goes and has that affair with that english guy - to spite Marius.

Marius. Not yet introduced as a character, but more than hinted at. The one Daniel has also a relationship with in the books.

And here we’re back to my theory that DM did happen in the past… and that Marius wiped Daniel‘s memories.

Eric let spill recently that there might be something between Raglan and Daniel and… well on one hand… but you know if Raglan, as I also theorized, is actually Marius… then that would make a lot of sense.

DM happened in the past. Marius intervened (like he likes to do). Standing order is to leave Daniel alone (maybe). But… Daniel gets sick. They redo the interview. The “surprise“ after dinner, that never comes to pass (Louis wanting to turn Daniel for Armand?!). Louis leaving Armand with Daniel, (utterly pissed at Armand and therefore retracting his promise to turn Daniel) forcing Armand’s hand… Armand… knowing that if Daniel leaves now he will die soon.

And Armand turns Daniel - out of spite.

But not to spite Louis, or Daniel. Nor are they enemies (that‘s BS and given how Assad has talked about Loumand and what it has been on the show I do call BS here).

No, he does it to spite Marius, who wants Daniel mortal (for whatever reason). He does it IN spite of Marius‘ standing order. THAT woukd make sense to me.

And it would also explain why Armand isn’t there after… Marius might have come by for a… chat.

I know this sounds wild.

But honestly - spite? Anger?!! No. That doesn’t make any sense to me. And, I‘m sorry Assad, but I‘m side-eying your statements there after the Loumand ones. *shrugs*

So.

It sucks that we maybe won’t get the turning.

But I BET - I bet they have a good reason for that. Because it would contradict what they’re trying to establish for now.

It will be a big twist for show-only fans after all when it will be made clear why Armand turned him truly.

So. These are my thoughts, after chewing on it for a bit. Knowing Rolin likes to troll a bit obviously plays into that as well. And Hannah‘s tweet.

We‘ll see how it will hold. :)

[cowgirlcherrie]

⬭ 𓈒 hey there! all star. chapter two: the pink pen

╰   * rockstar! ellie x singer! reader x rockstar! abby

synopsis: At All Star University deviance isn’t tolerated. When the band room is up in flames with 3 music students to blame, community service at a band camp in the summer is in order.

warnings: 18+, MDNI, smoking, mentions of arson, fighting, sexual undertones if you look closely, jealousy, slighty dark! ellie n abby, descriptions of blood, stabbing (with a pen), touching, jabs at hooking up, crazy-exes, if you watched tsitp (like a team conrad vs team jeremiah type beat), big feelings denial

a/n: (9k + words) There is definitely a change of speed this chapter, now for the fun, a lot of stakes a presented this chapter which lines up for future chapters, thus why there is one flashback to the fight scene, and some gaps of events — as always my inbox is open I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter if you ever wanna pop in to talk about it, I would love to hear theories as well

previous. next chapter

02. the pink pen

You wish you could super-glue your eyes shut. 

The heat scorned your back, as the light layer of sunscreen you applied started to melt. The terrible air circulation from the broken bus fans didn’t help how sticky you felt against the red leather seats of the school bus.

Of course, apart from the 3 of you that had to volunteer, some other campus students were there as well; naturally volunteering out of the kindness of their own hearts. They were often plastered on the University’s Instagram as appreciation for their service.

Recognizable to you was first, Nora, who walked onto the bus with a pep in her step, followed by Dina and Jesse who you knew as friends of Ellie, Manny -- Abby’s practice buddy, and the silhouette of the last person who made your heart drop. A scowl appearing on your face as you brought a hand up to your face in shock.

Elora was the last campus student to enter the bus. 

The smug look on her face made you want to walk right up and slap it off of her. This was ridiculous. In this very moment, you hated the fact that you signed up for this – you should have just taken the expulsion, this was fucking awkward. You turned your head to look at Abby who was already looking at you as if she wanted to slam her head into a wall. 

With a loud – thud, Abby’s head hit the window, while you slowly slid down in your seat.

“If you act like you don’t see IT…it’s not even there” Abby whispered, referring to Elora as ‘it’ - making you only groan in response.

Ellie was to your right in the 3 seater, making you sandwiched between the two. Squinting at the two of you in confusion. The loud screaming music of her headphones masked any sounds your lips were making – so she tried to read lips. 

Ellie only got “don’t look” “not… there” and she eventually just tilted her head forward to mind her own business. Ellie was quiet this go round, you were waiting for her to just unclip her seatbelt and try to switch with Nora, who sat with Dina. Mentally, you thought she probably had enough of you and Abby’s shenanigans. 

Ellie wore long jorts in the heat, her leg rubbing against your own; one leg slightly further out in the middle aisle but her left leg still touching yours. You could feel Ellie’s cold hands slightly brushing at your knee from its position that it had on your own. You were overstimulated at this moment. Between Elora looking at you, Ellie being basically on top of you, and Abby throwing insults about Elora in your ear, it was too much. 

Abby and yourself went from cracking jokes and laughing to now trying your best to be invisible and unseen on the bus. 

“It’s hard not to she’s literally looking at me.” You hissed lowly back to Abby, who popped up from her slumped position like a popcorn kernel to look back at Elora as she twirled the drumstick in her hands some more. Abby pretended to throw the drumstick at Elora’s head, clicking her tongue and pretending that she hit her target. “Maybe I should wack her…again”

“Maybe you shouldn’t”

“Nah maybe I should, ya know…poke her eye out or—”

“Seriously…Abby?”

“The bitch can’t even read music!”

“What is up with you guys?” Ellie’s voice boomed as she took out her headphones to look at the two of you. Her sea green eyes were deep into your own, suddenly feeling yourself shake slightly under her gaze. Now that you got to see her features up even closer, she was more beautiful than your brain sought her to be. Her freckled face is slightly red from the sun and glossy from the sunscreen she wore as well. A cropped Guns & Roses muscle tee on her body, exposing the familiar tattoos on her arms. Sunglasses on her forehead – mirroring Abby. You broke the contact, your eyes pleading with Abby to help you.

Deny Deny Deny 

“You know…ex-flings” Abby blurted out, making sure to emphasize the word ex making you gasp and jab an elbow into her hip. Abby let out a huff at your unexpected jab. 

Abby entirely missed your que. 

You could feel your body getting jittery, your cheeks warm as your lips were slightly parted. You were not about to tell your crush about your failed situationship that nearly set you off. 

“I wasn’t asking you, rookie, I’m asking y/n…” Ellie interrupted, not breaking eye contact with you. Great. She was staring you down like a hawk watching its prey. She was onto you. Ellie bit her lip leaning into you “Y/n…?” 

You couldn’t focus. Between Ellie’s peppermint, eucalyptus scent that was hovering over you, your mind almost shutting dow; you looked past Ellie to look at Elora, who was already staring at you. Like you were a hunk of meat. It grossed you out, body shifting under her gaze, you could feel her eyes shifting to parts of your body that were exposed. Looking at places that she shouldn’t. Like your thighs, or your cleavage that was showing as your boobs pressed against each other in the tight pink halter top you wore.

Abby, on the other hand was twirling her drums got faster…and faster – to the point where you can hear the whizzing of the wood slapping against her flesh fingers.

You swore the wood was going to snap.

Ellie followed your train of vision, her lips shut as she looked at Elora. You could feel Ellie tense next to you, taking her hand off of her own thigh to crack her knuckles briefly.

“You fuckin’ around with Elora?” Ellie sounded disgusted, “ooh you could do better” she sang, reaching down to fix your signature necklace that was slightly crooked at the center of your chest. Your hand gently grabbing at her own, but still looking elsewhere.

You were still hyper-focused on Elora, Ellie periodically looking back between you and Elora to see if she stopped looking.

“I’m not– I didn’t,” you sighed “We used to talk she kinda fucked shit up it’s just awkward to see her here…and now she won’t stop looking at me” Your voice was small, soft, almost whining.

Ellie could feel that you were uncomfortable. So could Abby to your left who fallen awfully silent. Your discomfort makes both girls grow angrier by the minute. Ellie didn’t like Elora. It wasn’t even for the fact that you were previously entangled with her but Ellie had her personal beef with Elora. 

Starting with the fact that Elora swept her own ex-girlfriend from right under her own arms and was pretty determined to make sure anything Ellie touched would be briefly removed from her hands. Ellie’s hands gripped the backboard of the seat in front of you, her knuckles turning white.

“Stop staring back at her, just look at me” Ellie whispered aggressively making you blink rapidly out of the haze you were in. 

Her raspy voice was like a siren call, making you instantly submit yourself to do whatever she said, whatever she wanted “Want me to do something– say something? Cuz I will” Ellie whispered her voice, dark.

Ellie looked murderous at the moment. What the fuck were you doing to her? Ellie hasn’t felt this way in months. Jealousy nagged at her heart, enraging her head until all she could see was red. She hated the way Elora looked at you, it wasn’t in a saying hi to an old friend way, but like she was stirring the pot in her head cooking up the most chaotic and disruptive recipe. 

No sugar, bitter table-salt. 

Given the opportunity to put Elora in her place, she would do it any day free of charge. A scowl made home on Ellie’s face. In the moment she was rather expressive– extremely expressive, in comparison to her stoic face 10 minutes ago. Ellie dug into the front pocket of your shorts taking out your pink pen that was peaking out. Double clicking it a few times. The clicking becoming obnoxious to the ears, like nails on a chalkboard — Abby sat up this time watching Ellie’s hands as her eyes flickered to Elora who of course was aloof as ever.

Ellie spoke up again, 

“Say the word…” 

You couldn’t find it in you to speak. Your silence defies the room. Ellie bounced her leg steadily growing irritated at the fact that you weren’t giving her an answer. The minute your supervisor turned to sit in her seat after doing attendance checks, Elora took the chance to give one final glance at you - Ellie’s jaw clenched as she felt the pen almost liquifying in her hand and flying uncontrollably.

Ellie held the pen like a dart as it whizzed in the air whacking Elora in the face. Elora turned around holding her cheek, letting out a groan that could be heard throughout the bus. Abby laughed to your left in amusement at Ellie’s sudden behavior;  your mouth going wide staring at Ellie who only sunk back into her chair with a smug I don’t care - look on her face. Ellie’s head was skewing out different curses. The red she was seeing was pulsing, like a beating heart. 

Two could play that game. 

“So you let her do it but not me?” Abby shamelessly admitted, trying her best to conceal her laughter against the window. Even though she wasn’t the one to do it Abby found the situation entertaining.

Elora turned again, trying to figure out who threw the pen, locking eyes with Ellie who was already staring her down.

“Next time…” Ellie croaked,  raising a hand to point at her right eye “It’ll be your fuckin’ eye” Ellie’s voice was prominent, threatening; sending Elora a cocky wink to finalize her statement. 

It was safe to say that Elora didn’t look at you for the rest of the bumpy ride. Eventually, your head slumped against Abby’s bulked arms letting out silent snores as you slept peacefully for the 30-minute bus ride to the cabins. Abby was doing the same her head against the glass of the window while her hand was gently on your thigh.

Ellie looked like a guard dog, a Doberman, protective and alert – wired headphones returned in her small ears, zoning out ahead. Occasionally boring a hole into the back of Elora’s head before hitting the skip button to the song on her phone.

Ellie’s green eyes tilted down to Abby’s hand that was protectively over your leg — like a blanket keeping you warm in the winter. She wasn’t sure why she was feeling jittery all of sudden, she knew better than to think anything more of it.

Just a friend…

Abby was just a friend, right?

☆*•. 

Arriving to the camp-site, smelling the air filled of freshly cut grass, merky salt water from the lake, a boost of serotonin ran through you. When summer calls and nature picks up the phone it was truly a sight to see. The buzzing of the bees – working overtime in pollination and flies out for blood put you at ease. 

Stepping off the bus, you took your bags from the lower compartment to sling the pink duffle over your shoulder. Waiting in front as Abby did the same thing. Abby rightfully brought her drumsticks, tucking them in her butt pocket like she always does, while Ellie had her guitar case strapped to her back. A guitar pick hanging from her neck around a ball-chain silver necklace. 

It truly reminded you of the times there was marching band practice during high-school summers. 

Certain cabins with labels on them indicating the music rooms, dorms, and dining hall, nostalgia hitting you like a wet brick. A navigation stick at the center with arrows pointing at different locations of the camp. 

The bee’s decided that your perfume was perfectly sweet, making you swat your arm around your head at the bees that were effortlessly trying to kiss your ear. 

Abby, slid into the empty pocket of standing distance next to you, as you turned slightly to point at Abby’s sunglasses – your way of asking to wear them, to which she gracefully handed them to you with a smile.

Abby cleared her throat, “Ehm…Robin, hope you didn’t forget about our deal” 

Right. The fucking bet, you wanted to forget the bet and honestly just ditch it. Feeling ridiculous and immature for making the deal in the first place — words slipping out of your mouth uncontrollably. You looked like you just got caught doing something you shouldn’t – shrouding bashfully away from Abby, looking up at her through your tinted glasses.

“How about we delay that til’ fall?”

“It’s too late we already swapped spit” Abby grumbled, pretending to do the act of spitting in her hand and shaking an imaginary one in front of her. 

You puffed out your cheeks, rolling your eyes as you did so, letting the air deflate “I’ll bump it up to $40”

“Hey…you have one little interaction with the punk and now you’re giving up?” Abby began, nudging you with her arm “She got you feelin' hot and wet don’t she?’' Abby teased, her voice low and cunning almost as if she was daring you to try something. 

Abby slyly put two fingers in her mouth, slowly sucking on her fingers – humming out a low moan deep in your ear before pushing her fingers out of her mouth with a loud pop! 

Abby wasn’t wrong you were hot and bothered, probably not in the way she was thinking but definitely in need of a long cold shower to kill any sexual desires arising in your psyché. 

Lewd thoughts attacking your neurons, sending shots of dopamine throughout your body – wondering what sweet nothings she would whisper in your ear, lips grazing your ear – before meeting your jawline, running her tongue against your skin. Then swirling her tongue at your neck occasionally giving the flesh a bite like a vampire, creating art on your body and leaving you in violet hues.

Was it normal to have such lewd, unholy thoughts about your best friend? 

You couldn’t— no you shouldn’t. It felt almost illegal like you have been committing a crime.

No…you didn’t feel some type away it was just how she was. Maybe it was how she flirted you like always, but that was who she was, that was just…Abby. You needed to distract yourself - refocus, so you chose Ellie.

It didn’t help with how good Ellie looked under the sun’s gaze either. Shifting your gaze to where Ellie stood talking to Dina and Jesse who were giving very animated responses back to the girl. Ellie’s hands were on her hip slightly applying more pressure to lean on one leg. You could see the pack of Marlboro Reds in her back pocket, peaking out just a tad. Her cropped muscle tee lifts up every few minutes exposing the hemline of her boxers. You could feel the lace of your underwear in your denim light wash shorts, feeling stickier and wetter.

You were frustrated…extreemly frustrated, sexually.

Fuck 

Was it the sun beaming or was it her?

Maybe it was the way Abby was seductively trying to get a rise out of you that was turning you on even further.

Snapping out of your trance, that had you tilting your head in different directions, biting at your pink glossed lips while your fingers played with the ends of your hair.

Abby was an asshole, an asshole that was causing your heart to palpitate in an unusual manner. She was a little devious devil on your shoulder pushing you to the edge.

“Dude seriously! – gross”

“Whatever you say dear” Abby sang putting her hands up in defense – a shit-eating grin on her lips. “Ellie’s about to make you her bitch…watch…not like it’s hard” Abby swiftly looked you up and down.

Not that you would mind – sitting at her feet begging her to touch you, it was your perfect wet fantasy.

But you wanted to prove Abby wrong. You wanted to be in control and call the shots, you desperately wanted the ball to be in your court.

“Yeah…we’ll see”

As if on cue, your supervisor tucks the clipboard under her arm giving a triple clap to grab everybody’s attention. The woman appeared to be in her 50s and the name tag on her her breast pocket saying ‘Adalaide’ sealed the deal for you. Her smile was wide, and looking up at everyone through her visor, she almost looked robotic – artificial. 

“Welcome counselors to All-Star sleep-away band camp!” She shouted, bringing up her hands to give a mini applause. No one else followed suit to clap. It was almost humorous.

“We are so pleased to have you here! Helping to aid our student ran camping program is a big responsibility and the All-Star University family thanks you! At this table I have your staff shirts and name badges which you will be expected to wear, if you don’t wear your staff shirt because it gets dirty or unsanitary at any moment, name pins must be worn. Upon receiving your shirts you will initial next to your name, which has your cabin number at the top. We typically have separate cabins for the counselors…So that line of cabins,” 

Adalaide pointed to the row of cabins down the rocky road from where you were standing

“...has two beds and a bathroom. On the desks of each bedroom, there will be a clipboard with rules and the group you are running or teaching. We will be meeting back here – at this central spot,  around 12:30 which is when the campers start arriving”

You turn around to give Abby a slight smirk, taking off her sunglasses from your face and putting them on your head this time.

“We ensure you have a great experience, we hope you can make this a responsible and fun summer for the kids” Adalaide finished her announcement with an ear-splitting smile, the woman out of breath, clasping her hands together to make a loud clap. 

The group of you made your way towards the wooden picnic table, picking up a woefully ugly red shirt with the word STAFF bolded in white lettering on the back, it was definitely something you had to personalize.

 Initialing your name with the blue ink trailing your painted nail across the thin paper seeing your cabin number and bunkmate.

Cabin 3 with…ELLIE WILLIAMS

You mentally cursed at yourself, it was as if your downfall was being prayed upon. It’s not that you didn’t want to bunk with Ellie, but the thoughts of her that possessed you drove you insane. You didn’t think you could hold yourself back in a room alone with the girl.

Tilting to look at Abby, you let out a sigh seeing that she was occupied.

Abby got into a good conversation with Nora, Abby smiling, occasionally pushing her bangs out of her face. She was beet red, fiddling with the shark tooth around her neck.

Your small grin turning into a frown at the sight of it. It’s not that you were jealous…of course not — but Abby looked at Nora with such admiration, like she was the most beautiful girl you have ever seen.

You wanted Abby to look at you like that— no

You wanted someone to look at you the way Abby looked at Nora. You let out a growl at the conflicting voices in your head.

Looking around the mix of counselors you saw that Ellie had already disappeared off into the cabin. Deciding it would be best to just walk off on your own.

☆*•. 

Heading down the trail, your white vintage classic rebooks got dusty. The sand gravel blowing onto your feet from the breeze of the trees. You walked into your cabin, the door letting out a loud creek as it slammed behind you.

It was homey – definitely smelled of slightly rotting wood and water from the lake, and was rather small; It was going to do the job for the month. Ellie’s bed and your own are across from each other with a desk at the center of the room. The in-cabin bathroom is small and in the corner of the 4x4.

Ellie’s eyes shifted up, eyebrows raised in amusement as she saw you come into the cabin. Looking at you up and down with a small smirk across her lips.

“Hey roomie, it’s an honor to share a bunk with you” Ellie teased taking out clothes from her bag and putting them into the bedside drawers. Her tone was cocky, almost poking fun at you.

“Something tells me I’m gonna regret it” You challenged cracking a smile. You slammed your bag down on your bed, which was followed by your body resting against the hard mattress that almost was the equivalent of sleeping on a box. Ellie was moving with great speed, picking up her fitted linen sheets and putting her blankets on the bed. She was almost finished packing. There was silence between the two of you. Mutually comfortable as you both did your own thing. 

Ellie fluffed out her pillow one last time and looked up to where you were resting. Her eyes skimmed over your exposed skin: from how your shirt rode up and the way your shorts rested on your thighs. Ellie bit her lips looking closely at your waistline to see the light-pink underwear strap peaking through. She felt dirty for doing so, but she couldn’t help it. Your eyes were closed long eyelashes poking at your cheeks, giving your under-eyes butterfly kisses.

“Need a hand?” Ellie spoke up gently, as you heard a drawer close from her end, followed by the creaking of her bed. 

“…y-yeah I could use the help juuust taking a breather” you whispered, bringing up your arms to block your face almost as if you were about to start a game of 7-up. 

“You don’t mind me touching your stuff right,” Ellie asked, dipping a knee into your mattress and she fiddled with the puffball at the zipper of your duffle bag. 

“No no– go ahead, do your thing” you responded, mentally counting to three before pulling your body weight to help. The two of you put away your clothes, followed by your sheets and blanket in silence.

You tried to ignore the fact that Ellie was gracefully putting your intimates in the top drawer with ease, her fingers running across the hemlines and edges of your bras and underwear as she slid them into the drawer.

Was it bad that you wanted her to take one?

“The shirt they are making us wear is fucking ugly” Ellie confessed, as she pulled down the remaining corner of your blanket, her muscles flexing as she moved. Ellie shifted her body this time, collapsing on your bed as she watched your body move. Ellie thought you were attractive – she always did, but granted the right person wrong time was very much real, the both of you were somewhat involved in relationships before she could make a move.

Ellie was smitten for you, hell half of the shit she would do for you, she definitely didn’t do for her ex. 

Lifting up the red shirt and the pair of scissors on the desk, you pretend to snip air “Ugh I know, I was about to cut it into something” you began.

This wasn’t uncommon for you, fixing and revamping old clothes has been your creative passion since you were 10. Freshly in the 6th grade making your outfits yourself no matter how badly the colors matched. It was you; came strongly from your large heart. This was one of the moments where you could express your authentic self freely.

You rested the shirt flat on the desk, cutting a vertical slit at the neckline to create a small v-line and splitting the bottom into two halves so it would be easier to crop and tie in a knot. Smiling at your work you swiftly pulled the pink-halter top off –  ignoring the presence of Ellie who was gawking at you. Her eyes glossed over your boobs admiring how nicely they sat in your push-up bra. The glittery lace compliments your skin well. Her thoughts were interrupted when your previously displayed bra had been covered by the red shirt.

You were teasing her.

Giving her a show — just enough to where she wanted to taste you and then pulling it back with that typical sweet look that was placed back on your dolled-up face. You tied it off in a knot at the bottom, the shirt fitting as you turned around to face Ellie fully this time.

“Ta-da!” you sang giving a twirl as Ellie whistled at you from her positioning at your bed. Ellie bit her lips watching the way you playfully danced. She wanted to grab you by the waist and pull you on top of her. Grabbing at your hair and your face like it was her last time touching it. 

Ellie walked over, slightly tugging you aside by the waist as she set down her own red shirt on the table cutting off the sleeves – the shirt now in a muscle-tee format. Ellie mimicked your actions, disregarding her black top over her head leaving her in a Calvin Klein sports bra as she put the red top on. Ellie wasn’t breaking eye contact with you – like she always does. Staring you down as you adjusted her shirt to her body. It seemed like she got the hint – perhaps you were teasing her, maybe you did want her to look at you.

No 

You DID want her to look at you 

“That’s more like it…” Ellie mumbled, stretching her arms in the shirt. 

“Looks like we are going to be having a lot of fun this summer” Ellie whispered, her fingertips ghosting over your waist, as she trailed her fingers along the side of your exposed skin, before picking up the clipboard behind you. You exhaled at the feeling of her cold tips on your skin sending shocks through your body at the sudden temperature change.

Your body being hit with flashes, from cool to warm and eventually burning hot, as if someone turned on a heater and blasted in your face. Heart thumping in your ears like rolling thunder.

You quickly cleared your throat trying to push the out of body experience you were having out — followed her actions. Turning around to face the desk–  lifting up your own clipboard to see the thick layers of paper. A stack of 4 to 5 pages. 1-2 being rules, 3 being your attendance sheet and any dietary restrictions, 4 being the section you were teaching – which in this case was vocal lessons, and page 5 was your daily hour schedule. 

“So…where did they place you?” Ellie inquired, tilting her head to try to get a glimpse of your board.

“I’m at vocal lessons, with Jesse…” you mumbled eyes furrowing at what you were being expected to teach “Who were you so lucky to get?”

“More like unlucky… guitar lessons with your little weird friend, Elora” Ellie snickered bitterly, you almost choked on the air at her words. It seemed like a never-ending slope of bad luck – now would have been a good time to tape a clover to your chest. When things were doing just fine they would eventually reach the lowest of lows that you have seen them. Perhaps it was your karma for your negligent and careless way of thinking. Perhaps this was being done to punish you. 

“She’s not my friend”

“I know, just teasin’” Ellie shrugged, as she grabbed the sunscreen off the table to quickly reapply the aerosol. You watched as her body started to glisten, almost twinkling under the dim overhead light in the cabin. The thoughts of Ellie and Elora possibly working together escaping your thoughts. “Want some?”

Ellie shook the bottle of sunscreen in front of your face. You nodded faintly reaching for the bottle and making Ellie slap your hands away. Ellie took the initiative to spray the sunscreen for you, hitting your arms legs, and your exposed neck. Settling down the can with a faint smile. Ellie was sweet to you – from helping you avoid creeping Elora, unpacking, and now she was applying your sunscreen. You tried to keep your head screwed on tight. She was just being nice. You were convincing yourself that every little inkling or intuitive tingle you had about her liking you was untrue. You couldn't believe it. You didn’t want to. The bet also reappears within your head in flashes.

What Abby doesn’t know – won’t hurt her right?

That was your best friend, why did you suddenly care what Abby thought, what she felt?

You couldn’t grasp why that had such meaning for you.

So what if you got close with Ellie…fucked around – kissed and maybe even profess your liking. Wasn’t this all you wanted? Your happily ever after?

Ellie was making her way out of the door, while you were preparing to follow suit. Looking around swiftly for your pink pen – noticing its absence on your body. Right…it was probably with Elora after Ellie chucked it at her head. 

“Wait…Ellie!” you called out, rushing out the door with the clipboard tucked under your arm like a blanket. “Can you get my pen back?” 

Ellie smirked, casually rolling her eyes at your request. Of course, she’ll do it, she’ll do anything for you. 

“What– you’re gonna die without it?” Ellie teased abruptly turning around to face where you stood on the porch of the cabin, “Of course I’ll get it, back in blood” Ellie sent you a wink. 

By the tone of her voice, you couldn’t tell if she was joking or if it was just her dark-humored nature. Nodding your head to yourself, trailing behind her to get back to the main campsite. 

☆*•.  

Taking care of children was free parenting to you. The runny noses, spontaneous injuries; “he said” – “she said”. It was enough to make you never want to have children. Today went rather peacefully than you expected. Naturally, the campers were settling in, making best friends with their bunk buddies, provided with a tour from Adalaide, meeting with the counselors briefly for an introduction and schedule update, and now they were briefly in the lunch rooms for a quick lunch break. 

The dining hall was well cleaned and put together, wood against wood with fairy lights hanging through the ceiling. It was a cute attraction – something that the youth definitely would enjoy. On the wall there were plaques with BEST CAMP and CHEF OF THE WEEK engraved in the metal. Paddles hanging from the wooden banisters made years prior at the camp. 

With a sharp inhale, you dove head first for the table that sat all the counselors. Parking yourself next to the empty seat that Abby had left open for you. You felt like you haven’t seen your best friend in hours – so caught up in the camping activities it was like you didn’t exist to each other. Abby gave a comforting smile as she patted the wood next to her. You of course sitting at the table. The rotation was rather odd, Jesse, Dina, Abby, and Nora sat at this table but two familiar faces were missing. The absence of the cocky redheaded airhead was gone. 

Ellie and…Elora. 

“Where’s Ellie?” you question, looking at the empty spot next to Jesse. The mood of the table shifted at your words. Everything suddenly became awkward, Abby letting out a small unprovoked cough – Dina taking an awfully large sip of water and Jesse suddenly finding interest in the ice pop that was melting in between his lips.  You quirked an eyebrow, lips apart as you analyzed the faces at the table everyone was silent – avoiding eye contact. “Uhm..hello?”

Jesse coughed, “Infirmary [seriously Jesse!]” 

As soon as the words left his mouth everyone at the table tried to hush him up, Abby muttering under breath, Nora had her head in her hands, and Dina was jabbing at him in his hip. Scolding him. Something was up. “So…why is Ellie in the infirmary?” you pushed fiddling your thumbs against the wood of the table.

“Elora stabbed her hand with a pen” Dina finished, making everyone at the table groan. Ellie’s familiar words of Back in Blood ringing your head. 

“Now that the cat is out of the bag” Abby shot a glare at Jesse and Dina “Special delivery for you” Abby lifted the pen, your pink pen from her back pocket handing it to you gently. Taking it within your hands you felt almost guilty – like a criminal holding a murder weapon, your once cute and pink pen was now splattered in a crimson gooey mess – blood cleaned but spots noticeably there. Ellie’s dry blood was on your pen, staining the plastic. If you knew that Elora would have spontaneously jabbed a pen at her you would have never asked Ellie to fetch it for you.

Elora had her own intentions with Ellie – their beef running deeper than Ellie and Abby’s ever could. 

“Great…” you dragged, grimacing and almost gagging at the blood on the pen – carefully rotating it so your fingers wouldn’t touch the pen.

“This is a fucking biohazard”

Taking a napkin from the napkin holder you gently wrapped the pen with the cotton - briefly walking it to the trash and sitting down again.

“So why did this happen?”

“Payback from getting hit with it earlier, according to Ellie it was unprovoked”

Ellie was pacing in the room, walking around the group of kids doing a headcount – having them stand around in the circle. Ellie just had gotten finished reading the rules and expectations and playing a gentle round of icebreakers for the day. Everything was going fine – apart from Elora staring down Ellie like she wanted to kill her, everything was presumably fine.

“Okay, looks like everyone is here you are all free to go to the dining hall – no running right! We don’t want an injury” The students nodded pushing and shoving their way out of the cabin as Ellie let out a breath of air at the slam of the door. The students were gone. Ellie’s mouth was dry from all of the talking she had been doing. 

Sliding her guitar off from around her neck, she launched it into the stands – backing away to where her water stood on the floor. Picking up the bottle as the lukewarm liquid traveled down her throat, making Ellie groan in satisfaction.

Elora was hunched over in a chair. Watching Ellie as if she had been plotting something rather devious. 

“Is there something on my face or…” Ellie spoke up. Tightening the rest of her water bottle, before tossing it to the floor with a loud BANG! 

“Nah, I’m not even looking at you” Elora spoke up bluntly, her eyes still focused on Ellie. Are you fucking kidding me? Ellie thought. With the absence of people around leaving the two of them alone, she wouldn’t hesitate to send a fast blow to Elora’s rather punchable face.

“Yeah, the fuck you are– you got a real staring problem…do we have a problem?” Ellie was raising her voice, clearly irritated at Elora fucking around with her. Ellie’s hands crossed her chest as she looked at Elora up in down in disgust. 

“You know Cat warned me about you”

Ellie froze at the mention of her ex's name. Cat, who was vastly swept off of her feet by Elora and whatever bullshit lies Elora was feeding her. Ellie felt that her love for Cat was real – rather raw, one of the happiest points in her life. Then Joel died and every strip of happiness faded away into black and grey. She didn’t wanna see Cat anymore – enraged by anything and everything, she didn’t like how open Cat was about their relationship – now everything she did was catching up to her at full speed. Cat confided in Elora who whispered sweet nothings and “Ellie doesn’t know how to treat you right” in her ears.

Elora was a demon sent straight from hell.

“Warned you about what?” Ellie laughed, bitterly,  walking closer to Elora who had stood up from her seat.

“About how reckless you are…how you hit and quit…serial heartbreaker…a cheater, a player” Elora spat making Ellie roll her eyes at her statement. 

“Notice how she only said that after you stole her from me – you stole my girlfriend”

“Ex-girlfriend”

“Same fuckin’ shit!” Ellie fussed, throwing her hands up.

“She said since the death of your father you got reckless… that you get possessive to bitches n’ groupies you taped once…that you’re a freak who can’t control her anger” It was all true. Ellie feeling betrayed by the exposure. But for Ellie’s sake, she would deny it. For your sake…she would deny it too.

Deny Deny Deny.

“Tis’ not true” Ellie then thought about the situation again. “That would be the pot calling the kettle black don’t you think?” 

“Sure about that? Wonder what Y/N would think when she finds out her little crush is no better than her last” Elora shot back, with a shit-eating grin on her face. Ellie was rather startled. 1. By the sudden mention of your name and 2. That Elora was so far up her ass to bring you into this mess and 3. The fact that you liked her. It seemed wrong to come from Elora – your personal feelings had nothing to do with her. Ellie felt herself heating up. 

“Our issues got nothing to do with her” Ellie confessed “She doesn’t want anything to do with you either!” 

“They will now…the way I see you looking at her like you want to eat her.. I dunno fuck her – let her see how much of a crazy bitch you are…bring the lion out rockstar”

Ellie snapped, “Well she’ll be screaming my name over…and over…and over again – and not yours if that's what your insecure ass is worried about” 

“Oh, not for me…I think you should be worried about Abby” Elora warned, making Ellie furrow her eyebrows. Abby? What the fuck did any of this have to do with Abby either? That was your best friend like hell she had to worry about Abby. But Abby did sit a little too close, grab at your waist, call you names, kiss your forehead– do friends do that?

Elora smirked watching as Ellie began to rethink every interaction she saw between you and Abby. Like the day she returned your pen and Abby just had to drag you away. Her arm around your shoulder rubbing circles into your skin. No No No, Elora was just trying to get in her head, Abby wasn’t a threat to her and she knew that.

“And what about her?” Ellie squinted 

“Anderson’s got a wandering eye…y/n might be screaming her name before yours – she’s been 2 steps ahead of you this whole time,”

Ellie poked her tongue in her cheek about Elora’s warning, choosing to ignore it and change the subject. She couldn’t think about that right now she didn’t want to. Fuckfuckfuck! Elora was already enough. Ellie looked down to the clipboard on the chair remembering what you said about the pen. Perfect time to change the subject during this brief period of silence. 

Ellie swiftly pointed at your pink pen in the clipboard “Oh and I need that back” 

Elora turned around to look at your pen, darting her eyes back and forth between Ellie and the pen. The mood shifted again it was hostile, like the moment of peace and tranquility before everything goes terribly wrong. Ellie felt her intuition bubbling, sharp pains jabbing in her stomach – Elora was up to no good.

Before Ellie could say anything else Elora bolted for the pen jabbing it into the flesh of Ellie’s left hand making Ellie let out a blood-curdling scream. Blood pooled out of her gash as Elora twisted the pen-point side allowing the tip to dig into her bloodstream. Ellie shook off the pain bringing up her free hand to right-hook Elora in her face. 

“Fuckin’ bitch – and you’re calling me crazy?” Ellie shouted, reaching for the pen in her hand and taking it out with an animalistic growl. While Elora was still trying to recuperate from the sudden smack, Ellie took this as an opportunity to tackle Elora to the floor, straddling the brunette as Elora’s hands grabbed at Ellie’s face. Ellie bit her finger in a rush, sending another punch to Elora’s face with a loud THUD as Elora’s skull bounced against the wood floor.

The thud almost matched Ellie’s heartbeat - the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she felt herself reaching euphoria at Elora’s displeasure. Ellie always wanted to punch Elora, get the deed out of the way and she didn’t particularly care if she looked like a bad person now. Ellie wasn’t pulling her punches.

With each punch Elora’s words kept on playing in limbo at the back of her head ‘what would y/n think”

What would you think if you walked in at this very moment seeing Ellie on top of Elora hitting her repeatedly? That would make anyone pray it wasn’t a dent. Blood on her rings dripping down her hands both from the stab wound and Elora’s now bloody nose, Elora sent a hand up to Ellie slapping her across making Ellie fall back. It was Elora’s turn this time – getting on top of Ellie and sending two punches to her face. Ellie groaned out with each tension-filled punch, watching as Elora’s hand drew back one more time before a big- muscular hand dragged Elora off of Ellie. It was Abby, almost crushing Elora’s hand 

“Get the fuck up…and get this fucking shit off your face you look ridiculous”  Abby spat at Elora, Elora scrambling out of the cabin holding her face.

Ellie was beat…on the floor letting out heavy breaths as she tried to recollect her thoughts. A wave of relief cast over her body at the sight of Abby. Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt relieved or why Abby’s presence wasn’t bothering her anymore. Perhaps Ellie was tolerating Abby, just for you…But Ellie didn’t want to make Ellie an enemy, not anymore.

“Well don’t you look like shit” Abby sneered bringing an arm down to Ellie. A helping hand. Ellie grasped on with ease as Abby pulled her up from the floor. “What happened here?” 

“I was just asking for y/n’s pen and she stabbed me unprovoked – a crazy shit talker too” Ellie spat, wiping her bloody nose at the back of her hand. Ellie recalled your pen, bending down to lift up the pink pen that was tinted red, coated in her blood.

“Here” 

“I’m not giving her this…” Abby pinched her fingers together to hold the pen trying to avoid touching any blood. “Clean it and don’t tell her…just give it back”

Abby ignored her statement, “What’s your deal with Elora?” Ellie let out a sarcastic laugh at Abby’s question. 

“Try having a girl steal your ex-girlfriend and then try to plot on a girl you’ve been eyeing…I’m sure you’d react the same” Ellie breathed out, reaching for her water to take a sip.

“Touché”

“What are you gonna tell y/n?” Abby spoke up again.

“You ask a lot of questions…j- just that I fell” Ellie shrugged skewing a ridiculous lie. She didn’t spend years of heartbreaking to be a shit liar. 

“She’s not gonna buy it fuck-face…what about Elora, I mean come sunrise her face is pretty fucked up too” Abby confessed. Ellie cursed under her breath. She didn’t care anymore. Elora could tell you whatever she wanted – that’s if she could even catch you

“She can tell her whatever the fuck she wants “ Ellie’s voice was monotone. The freckled-face girl dug in her pockets pulling out the flavored stick to her lips realizing she didn’t have a lighter. Sitting on the chorus bleachers that were set up in the cabin for the students. “Got a light?”

Abby dug into her pocket flicking out a black BIC lighter, a replacement for the one from the school fire. Safety broken off, Abby lit Ellie’s cigarette for her – the fresh smell of tobacco filling the room. 

Ellie’s bloody hand was the one to bring the cigarette too in from her lips. 

“She brought up my dad…what kind of fucker does that?” Ellie mumbled as Abby took a seat next to her, “I want to–no I need to get rid of her, she is plotting something against y/n and I can feel it” 

Abby hummed looking at the small smudge of blood against the floor, “I could help you”

“What?”

Ellie was confused. Why would Abby want to help her? Why would the blonde go out of her way to give Ellie a hand? Clearly, it was not for her but rather for you. Ellie knew that Abby cared about you more than you can imagine or even muster up in words. Abby was your safety blanket, the bell ringer to call you home.

“It’s not for you…” Abby whispered, looking up at the ceiling briefly before finishing her statement “We both don’t like Elora, and we both want to protect Y/n…I say we team up”

“You wouldn’t…”

“You don’t know how far I’ll go…”

“Jeez, I don’t wanna kill her Abby, just fuck around with her a little – make her kiss my boot you know…She has this isolation technique I know how she moves – only a matter of time before she makes Y/n hate you too” Ellie assured, tapping the ash building up at the edge of the bleachers, Ellie spoke like a pro. Abruptly remembering the words that left Elora’s mouth that tormented her.

 “You like her or something” 

Abby was silent, it was evident she was hesitating and thinking before she gave her answer. It wouldn’t be an honest answer of course not.

“Actually scratch that…how long?” 

Abby’s eyes went wide at the question. Ellie wasn’t even giving her any room to answer. 

Abby scratched at her neck, reaching into her back pocket and cursing when she realized her drumsticks were missing. Clearing her throat, she instead played with the bracelets on her wrist, “Uhm…3- no, 5 months”

Ellie cursed under her breath. Ellie only liked you for 3 ½ Abby led the majority and she was a strong believer of first come first serve. Ellie quite frankly didn’t know how she felt about sharing – Elora wasn’t exactly wrong about her possessiveness. Ellie reached into her pockets of Marlboro’s offering Abby a stick – it was her offering solidarity. Abby obliged sticking the slender tobacco in between her lips and bringing a light up to get herself started.

“She knows?” Ellie questioned watching as her cigarette got shorter and shorter.

“Hell no, I’m not telling her either – she thinks I like Nora I wanna keep it that way”

“No, you don’t” Ellie read right through her like a book. Abby ‘nepo-baby’ Anderson certainly didn’t wanna hide it from you it was painfully obvious, no mind reader needed to see! 

“I don’t do the sharing shit” Ellie confessed blowing out the smoke, “But I can accommodate” 

“Let her choose it isn’t our decision…” Abby elaborated, making Ellie nod at the response. She was right. Who were they to choose who gets to have her? Ellie knew deep down you would trade her for Abby any day – she’s been with you through it all. 

“And if she wants both of us?”

“We let her have it” Abby shrugged.

 Abby could care less nor give a flying fuck if she had to share you…She rather it is with Ellie than some dick-wad like Elora. Ellie was a pure reflection of herself – perhaps that's why they clashed so much. Maybe that’s why she hated her. It was like arguing with a broken mirror. 

She was arguing with herself.

 Ellie nodded at Abby’s response, putting out the butt of her cigarette. 

Ellie took her bleeding hand out preparing to shake Abby’s with a mischievous grin, Abby’s lips slowly curled into one as well, taking Ellie’s bloodied hand in her own. A tight firm handshake. Business is business. 

“But seriously… go to the infirmary, it looks is gross” 

☆*•.  

After the lunch break, the campers were settling around the burning wood for a quick bonfire and s'mores night. Fire sparks filled the air as the radio blared a mix of recent pop hits while other mini activities and s'more building stations were happening. The sun was down, stars twinkling in the sky like a scene right out of a movie. 

You had enough of the fire. Flashbacks to how you ended up at this camp in the first place peaking through.

When the music room advises no outside equipment, like liquids – don’t bring them. Save yourself the trouble, the fines, and the embarrassment. 

Making a plate of s’mores, you looked around realizing the absence of Abby and Ellie. Other counselors dancing or talking to the kids but you were alone. Your best friend wasn’t around and the familiar faces started blending in with each other. It seemed like since you arrived at the camp this disappearing act had started. If it wasn’t disappearing then it sure was secrecy. Your white pullover sweater rested on your body, while your lower half was still covered in shorts, picking up your flashlight from the picnic table. Now that it was nightfall Adalaide was responsible for the children. She was the one to do bunk checks making the counselors free for the rest of the night. 

You walked down the gravel trail from the main campsite, the flames getting smaller and smaller behind you. Reaching up to your cabin the shiny number 3 flashing under the moonlight brought you comfort, flashing your flashlight around the open air to make sure there was no one else behind you. You haven’t seen Elora all afternoon. Not that you wanted to, nor did you care but it was as if she became a ghost. There one minute and gone the next. 

Approaching the steps, as the wood creaked underneath you, your nose tilted up at the sudden smell of freshly lit tobacco almost lethargic to the nose. The air was potent and spicy which lead you to believe that the people you were looking for were nearby. Deciding to reverse your feet at the steps, pausing to listen if you heard any voices. Hearing Abby’s subtle raspy voice against the wind you fully reversed your steps, turning away from the cabin to follow the voices. This leads you down a mini trail in the gaps between each of the Cabin, finding Abby and Ellie leaning up against the cabin walls, on opposite sides of each other blowing out smoke in conversation.

This was weird – strange almost.

It didn’t make sense to you – last time you checked they didn’t get along. You held up your flashlight at the two flashing it which caused their conversation to stop. 

Abby smirked seeing your figure approach the two, admiring your relaxed state. Her eyes eventually trailed down to the plate of s’mores that you had in her hand, three perfectly placed and put together on the plate. Abby thought to herself about the common phrase, “The best things come in 3’s"

“What are you guys doing here?” you whispered, voice soft as always – angelic and pure. Ellie looked up at you blowing smoke away from your face. This was the first time you got to see her all day, her hand wrapped in white gauze almost like a cast and the plump flesh around her eye was swollen. Hues of purple, yellow, and green blended around her eye, her skin clearly sore from all of the hits she had taken. A frozen ice bag was placed near her temples just above her eye. It was worse than you expected. 

“Well hello to you too…” Ellie spoke up, bringing the cigarette up to her lips for another hit. Abby pulled you into the two of them, her hands reaching down to the plate to take one of your s’mores off of the plate. 

“Thanks for the treat [It wasn’t for you?]” Abby whispered, sending you a quick wink as she took a bite of the rich and sticky dessert. Abby let out low moans in satisfaction at the gooey substance. Ellie looked down at the plate seeing that you had two more smores left. Mocking Abby’s actions and taking one for herself. You weren’t sad about it hell you weren’t gonna finish the dessert anyways. Queasy knots turning in your stomach.

“Why aren’t you hanging out at the bonfire?” Ellie pondered. It’s not like you would enjoy it anyways, ever since the fire incident in May that was enough to have you never want to see a fire again. The burning of the wood was enough to make your chest burn – having flashbacks of your feet feeling cemented into the practice room floor as the instruments melted and melted. Ellie’s tone was kind of cold almost as if you had been interjecting something you shouldn’t have. 

“Sorry…am I interrupting something” Your question was enough to shut up the both of them. Between Abby’s aggressive chewing, she abruptly stopped — eyeing down Ellie, very slowly shaking her head. 

“No, why would you be?” Ellie was reclining from her original tone, giving Abby the quickest glance before focusing on you with a killer smile. The way the light from the moon gently cast onto your face was enough for you to fully see how her eye looked.

“Holy shit…your eye” Your voice was full of concern, pushing the plate with s’mores into Abby’s hands as you walked towards Ellie running your fingers gently along the side of her face, Ellie fluttering her eyes closed briefly as her free hand dusted yours to bring it down, squeezing softly in appreciation.

“You should see the other guy” Ellie joked, putting the cigarette back up to her lips. The joke brought a slight frown to your face, you vastly looking at her hand that was bandaged up to the best security. “How’d you get the..uhm, bruise?”

Ellie cleared her throat, spitting out the build-up of phlegm onto the rocky road to her right, taking a breather – she wanted to stay true to her lie. “I fell, bumped into a table as I was crashing down – I’ll be fine though just have to keep icing until the bruising goes down”

Ellie’s voice was convincing – not a single hint of a lie being there. She was telling you the same story she told the nurse.

Abby cleared her throat making you redirect your attention towards her who was leaning against the wall with your plate of smores, She looked up at you through her lashes, a rather serious tone in her voice “You see Elora?”

“Mhm no not really…She was at the bonfire for a quick second…seemed like her face was bruised too” You recalled, voice trailing off as you glanced at Ellie briefly squinting your eyes at the girl. Something was up, and you knew it…the two just weren’t telling you. You weren’t to be fooled and you were gonna find out what the issue was – but you instead played it off while the deep intuitive knowing itched at the back of your brain.

“Well if she tries to talk to you, avoid her – come find me or…Ellie for that matter” Abby’s tone was rather serious. You knew she wasn’t the biggest fan of Elora but this time it seemed more advanced than the time that she had comforted you the night Elora broke things off. She was angered.

Your head jolted back in confusion at Abby’s mention of Ellie’s name. Reminding you of all the times she would be throwing insults – jabbing negatively at the girl, what was with the sudden switch up?

“Wait since when were the two of you, friends?”

Abby and Ellie looked at each other briefly – Ellie putting the cigarette back up in silence meanwhile Abby looked back at you, “Not important…– but I’m serious don’t talk to her”

“Not like I planned on it” you shot back, Abby nodded her head – Ellie repeating the nod as well.

“Good [yeah, good]” The both of them talked over each other.

“You guys are being weird…very weird” you blurted out, finally stating what was on your mind. They weren’t doing the best job at hiding it – it was painfully obvious. A thick awkward tension was in the air as well. 

“If the Elora issue was about me you’d let me know right?” you inquired. Testing the waters to see what they would tell you, “Right?” you repeated yourself.

“Yeah…yeah – of course, but it isn’t about you so don’t worry your pretty little head about it” Abby smiled at you reaching to grab at your head, shaking it gently like she had done in May after your meeting in the Dean’s office. Abby didn’t exactly deny that there was a problem though, her poor word choice digging – almost scratching at your beliefs. Abby reached a hand down grabbing you at your waist with one hand before bunching up the fabric of your sweater in the ball of a fist at your back.

“You look sleepy – think you should call it a night?” Abby analyzed your face, pushing the plate with a singular s’more in your hands. You weren’t tired – well at least you thought you weren’t, you couldn’t focus with Ellie’s gaze on you and Abby touching you. As if on instinct you let out a yawn bringing the back of your hand to your lips to block your mouth that was agape. At this moment Ellie knew that Elora’s words were correct. Ellie’s eyes were zapped on Abby’s hand, clenching her jaw seeing that Abby had gentle control over you. Dear ol’ Abby knew what was best. 

and Abby was 2 steps ahead of her.

But she didn’t wanna cave in now, or turn it into some fucking competition when she was already trying to handle Elora – but if she could just sway you to want her and her only, she would do it in a heartbeat.

This might have been the rocky first day of counseling. From losing your pink pen, Elora’s unwanted appearance, Ellie getting into a fight, and Abby and Ellie’s consequential team-up, this only seemed to be the beginning of a dark, wild, treacherous ride. Every action from this night forward would have consequences. Back in blood, definitely meant deeper now.

Eye for an eye…tooth for a tooth. 

taglist

@ellsss @rarestdoll @luvrgalore @starologist @destielcore @beforeimdeceased @kissesskittens @emluvselandabs @abbyily @sawaagyapong @zahraaziza

© cowgirlcherrie 2023

[cenorii]

And here we are again… RE9 theory

It's time for another theory! I'll be writing these right up until the release of RE9, so apologies if you're tired of speculation. I had a theory about this Wesker concept once before, but it came out too vague + I tied the concept to RE4R, but it never made it into the game. So here's a new theory that has captured my brain.

What if, this concept never belonged to re4r? What if it showed up in early development of re9? Let me explain.

Imagine that Wesker is alive in re9. You can imagine the importance of keeping such a news secret, because it is quite a shocking information for fans. If this is the main intrigue in re9, the game would lose it if information about Wesker leaked to the public. If you were the designers and developers, you wouldn't let such news get out of the organization any way. So, put yourself in the shoes of a Capcom employee? Let's move on.

Suddenly such an important detail is leaked by Wesker's voice actor and your intrigue risks becoming public, the game will lose half of its interest without keeping Wesker a secret. You, as a developer\designer need to solve something, somehow fix the situation so that no one will know about the return of this character in the new game.

Then you make a GENIAL decision, setting your sights on re4r, which is in the middle of development. You decide to add this Wesker design to re4r to ward off all suspicion and get out of the disadvantage. Well done, you succeeded in fooling the fandom, now everyone is convinced that this concept was originally made for re4r.

It would seem that everything is fine, no one will know the truth until the re9 release happens, but… Wesker's concept never showed up in re4r. That image is not inside the game or in the concept book. We, the players, are left to assume that this concept was trivially not intended for re4r.

To confirm this theory, I'll ask you to pay attention to a few details - the face (1), the hair (2) and the hand (3). 1. The face, to be honest, could be anything on these concepts, because they are made sometimes before the studio finds the right actor to give the appearance to the character. But I'm left wondering if his face here is taken from re5 and yet looks much older. If this was for re4r, wouldn't Wesker look younger? 2. His hairstyle deviates a lot from the usual style that every game has. Capcom couldn't change Wesker's hairstyle for the REMAKE of the game, because it's an important part of it. Changing his hairstyle is tantamount to removing his sunglasses. But that kind of hair is acceptable for a new game. I assume this is how his new style was planned for the future in which he is alive (?). If you've ever seen the "early" versions of re4r, you probably know that in them Wesker has that exact weird hairstyle, which Leon also has in the "hero" skin. I believe that when Capcom added the "hero" hairstyle to Wesker, they were trying to make him look even more like the concept to minimize information leaks among the staff.

3. In none of the games did Wesker suffer an arm injury. In Code Veronica, his hand was set on fire, but the wound is not serious and Wesker is able to heal his wounds in SECONDS. It doesn't make sense to emphasize his wound for a Code Veronica concept. It also doesn't make sense to do a wound for re4r, because in the original Wesker never left his chair at all, and in the remake he didn't get into any serious fights. This wound is something new that hasn't happened yet, but one day will. In all the games, Wesker heals any injuries quickly, but at the end of re5 he took too much damage, so he probably lost some of his strength, causing him to keep his wounds for a long time.

That's the kind of thoughts that visit me when I see this image but don't see it inside re4r. If it's a "discarded" concept, it too should appear officially, like Ada's concept for re8 that was never added to the game.

Thanks for reading, really looking forward to re9 to see how far I was from the truth. (Help me. I'm going crazy.)

[luulapants]

Goncharov (1973) is a perfect example of how fandom creates a shell around a piece of media and then slowly erodes the core it was originally built upon.

I have been in two fandoms that echo chambered their way to a theory invalidating all of canon, thereby making the source material itself irrelevant. One is the “Scott is an unreliable narrator” theory from the Teen Wolf fandom, which uses an odd POV choice from the series finale (the protagonist telling the story of their final battle to a character in a flash-forward) as evidence that the entire SHOW is actually him telling a heavily edited version of the story to make himself look like the hero. The other is the “Ghostfacers Effect” from the Supernatural fandom which also uses a weird POV episode (told through camera footage from a ghost hunting crew) to argue that, because the characters swear (bleeped out) in that episode but nowhere else in the series, this is evidence that the whole series is censored and edited by the author/God Chuck.

Both fandoms had animosity between fans and show creators, especially from queer shipping bases. Both have a huge amount of fanworks for those ships, and both experienced the “fandom echochamber” effect. Reinforced by positive responses from those seeking fluffy, kinky, self-insert, or otherwise wish-fulfilling stories, popular fanon characterizations slowly drifted until many fanworks featured characters virtually unrecognizable as their canon counterpart.

These drifts are addressed differently throughout fandom: Most people look at it and say, “No, that’s not canon, but it’s fun to read sometimes anyway,” or “This is just my headcanon.” Fanfic readers who never watched the source material are oblivious and perpetuate fanon characterizations as canon. Canon lovers decry the OOC-ness and complain that they can’t find fics about the actual characters they want to read about.

And some start arguing that fanon is actually more correct than canon.

Thus, the erosion of canon begins. “These episodes don’t count because the head writer was garbage.” “They made the character act like that to advance the plot - they wouldn’t have actually done that.” “Everything after this season is basically a different show.” “This happened off-screen but the network was too cowardly to show us.” And, finally, “Canon isn’t real.”

There is no canon. It’s a fanon shell wrapped around a desiccated center.

It’s Goncharov (1973).

Why do we need a source material? Canon isn’t real!

No shit canon isn’t real. It’s a fictional show.

You can’t argue the objective reality of a fictional story.

“But what’s the truth?”

None of it. None of it is the truth. It’s about werewolves. It’s about a gay angel. It’s not real.

You can argue objective reality in real-life historical accounts, analyzing sources and biases and excluded viewpoints. In a fictional story with an unreliable narrator, you can argue about what the text of the narration reveals about them. But there is no argument to be had about the objective reality of a fictional character. They are the text. Everything else is interpretation.

Why can’t your interpretation be what it is: an interpretation? Why can’t your headcanon be a headcanon? Why do you feel the need to saw the ladder off from underneath you? Why does fanon need to be more “true” than canon? Why would you rather have a fandom built on nothing than a fandom built on a text that disagrees with it?

Goncharov (1973) is the perfect canon because it will never disagree with fanon. It has no voice to do so. It is the perfect void that people have been trying to carve into their respective canons for years.

As Andrey said before his final betrayal, “You once told me you built your empire from nothing. You can’t get something from nothing, Goncharov. And so I fear we are nothing.”

[acourtofthought]

Your speculation on how Elain's voice (the inner thoughts in her POV) could be presented? Would it be more romantic? Witty? Sarcastic? Dreamy? or more observant and perceptive? A mix of all? or maybe more internal (like intuned to her emotions)?

Also for all the theories about Guilty as Sin, I think SJM just likes the song. It doesn't necessarily have to be about the books. I suppose we can all have fun theorizing about anything.

Regarding her post.

I think it is most likely that Sarah loving that song has nothing to do with Elucien or E/riel.

Do I think she felt moved by it? That it made her get in her feels? Definitely!

Do I think it could have given her some sort of inspiration as a writer? Sure! We have no idea what headspace she's in right now, we have no idea what she's writing right now. The song, while possibly about emotional cheating, is also about longing and her MMCs usually experience that. Maybe she's even writing a book set in the past and the song gave her inspiration for the LoA and Helion before they had the affair that resulted in Lucien.

However, Sarah says that she always has music on while she's writing so I do understand why everyone is trying to play detective. She chose her main platform for communication with her fans to create a post about a specific song and her author's website says "follow me for updates on IG". Considering she doesn't often post, when she does people are going to look for clues. When she herself has said she leaves all sorts of crumbs and easter eggs in her books and we all know she's a Swiftie (who also leaves easter eggs), it's not farfetched to think, "maybe that's what she's now doing on her IG!"

I do think people are being a little harsh towards others who are debating the possibility of clues.  It's not like all sides of the ship wars haven't read into her posts. I remember when she released a HOFAS excerpt, people were claiming that because she shared one with Nesta and Az it was further proof that she wants the focus to now be on Az but Nesta ended up being more heavily featured in the crossover.  Or how all sides of the ship war were using her last post of being in the mountains as evidence of who was getting the next book.

I think the theories / debates are fun and people should not be ridiculed for creating posts. We have literally nothing else to go on these days and in an an attempt to not recycle the same excerpts from the books over and over, even seemingly random IG posts can inject a little life (no matter how ridiculous) into our pages.

With that said, it's a little wild to claim her posts are confirmation of anything. While theories / debates are fun, acting superior and claiming the other side is crying because "her post proves E/riel endgame!" is taking it too far. Claiming that because she liked the song it's absolute proof of who is getting the next book is a stretch because, while we can theorize that maybe it does mean something, it could also still mean a hundred other things or absolutely nothing at all.

As far as Elain, I think she actually has a thoughtful / observant inner voice with a sarcastic edge.

A 75/25 ratio. Where she'll sit there thinking things that are insightful and observant then throw in a zinger from time to time to the point that it sneaks up on you. A lot like Lucien in ACOWAR, where he was going on and on about how well decorated the HOW was then throws out "Rhys was a good many things, but he certainly had good taste". Or when he was thinking on how he just wanted to read, thinking back on Jesminda, offered Elain tea then called Nesta a viper.

But where I think Lucien's inner thoughts are tinged with a bit of heaviness and sadness, I think Elain's will be slightly more optimistic.

I think Lucien pushes forward and carries on, he remains fair and polite, but there's a lot of guilt and hopelessness lying just under the surface.

With Elain, I think she leans more towards the positive. That's not to say she doesn't struggle with things too but I think despite that, she continues believing that things will work out, that things will be ok.

There's a reason SJM said Nesta and Lucien would cause one another more damage but that Elain was someone both she and Lucien didn't see coming. I think it's Elain's inner strength, that ability to remain positive, loving and kind that is going to be the central theme of their story. There is a lot of discord in certain relationships right now. Between Lucien and Tamlin, Lucien and the people of Spring, Lucien and the people of Autumn, Lucien and Eris, Az and Lucien, the sisters at times, Lucien and Feyre / Nesta at times, the IC and Tamlin, and there has not been a character to help rebuild those bridges yet. I do think it will be Elain's inner light and loving nature that will be a catalyst for many of these relationships beginning to repair themselves.

I hope you have a fun weekend!!!

[catgirls-reading-stuff]

I see so many posts that say comment on fanworks you enjoy, share your thoughts, gush about what you loved ect.

But i find it difficult. Because when i do i get critized by the writer for it. I read ninety chapters and was so excited about the set up, the implications, the looming threat from the past! And i commented, and i gushed and shared my thoughts and what i could guess from whats been revealed so far -

And the author was not happy.

'How could you think you know more than me, the author'

I dont, i'm just a fan. I was just excited and as a writer too wanted to share what i knew from my own research or experiences.

I dont think i know what the character went through, ive read the past ninety chapters with excitement at each update and had guesses and theories and was looking forward to seeing if i was close or not.

I'm sorry i commented at all. I'm sorry i even found your work. I wont do that again. I've blocked you, and removed my bookmark. I didnt mean to bother you. I didnt mean to offend.

I hope we never cross paths online again.

[zhoras-bitch]

Choices Spread Kindness Day 1

A bit late, but I really want to use the opportunity of @choicesfandomappreciation event to say a few words to the cool people in this fandom. Real life stuff and my own awkwardness sometimes gets in the way, but I just want everyone I've interacted on here to know that you are what make this fandom such a fun and enjoyable place. There are so many of you I could never list everyone, but that doesn't mean I won't try!

To start off, heyyy drought era mutuals and non-mutuals! The fandom was so barren when I joined, it felt like there were maybe 5 people here. But these were the 5 people who made me want to stay even through the books like [redacted] so that's how cool you are @yourqueenb @zoeywades-spouse @griffinsboyfriend @masked-alien-lesbian @choices-binglebonkus @becca-davenqueer!

Next, @gaiuskamilah love your long fandom rants, greatly appreciate your gothic romance propaganda and villain apologia. You never fail to bring up something interesting about the stories and characters you talk about, and your love for the books you talk about is contagious.

@livelaughlovecassie you are a loud supporter of women’s rights and women’s wrongs and I respect that! You’re also a sweetheart and a joy to interact with. I feel like we have similar taste in tropes and character we like, you know? You get me. 

@choicesfrog you’re a ray of sunshine. I look forward to when you come back from your hiatus so I can see your playthroughs and your OCs on my dash again. 

@princepotatosack your posts are some of the funniest in this entire fandom, I swear! I love your librarian rants, and I’m a big fan of your MCs profiles, which inspired me to make mine too.

@what-do-you-mean-theyre-evil I love our interactions, you just get me, you know? Fantastic vibes altogether.

@aallotarenunelma ayeee lovestruck days mutual! Little ace solidarity moment, I love how you explore acexuality through your characters and stories. Always so cool to see you on my dash, and our conversations always leave me smiling. 

@starlight-starfury you are so sweet and insightful! I always enjoy our interactions. Still waiting you to be 100% right on all of your Blades 2 theories.

@peonyblossom thanks for the trans Aerin hc, it lives rent free in my head, and for being an altogether joy to interact with.

@sazanes you're so supportive of every single creator in the fandom! Thank you for always making everyone here feel warm and welcome.

@itlovesinthewoods I love seeing your walkthroughs and your reactions on my dash, they make me experience the books I’ve already read all over again. You are so precious and a sweetheart to interact with! 

More people who I’ve had very sweet interactions with, I just want you to know that I think you're cool. Sending you the warmest virtual hugs @aces-and-angels @lawrencebarkley @lancelotsimp @trystanxthorne @secret-fungi @watatsumi-island

[detectivenyx]

A month or so back, someone made a tweet defending Himiko saying she's overhated by fandom and claiming she has autism. Of course, half the replies are people hating Himiko and she didn't deserve to be a survivor. I didn't know Himiko was disliked that much. This post was to ask, what are your feelings on Himiko?

if you asked a danganronpa fan on twitter if they'd like to examine their potential biases against a character and whether they're based on problematic stereotypes of marginalised groups or put themselves in a saw trap, they'd be strapping themselves into the fucking Shotgun Carousel with baffling enthusiasm, and himiko is one of the characters that makes that most apparent.

himiko has the exact same issue as hiyoko before her; she isn't waifu material since she looks like a child, and to danganronpa fans, if a female character who isn't explicitly a child isn't waifuable, there's zero value in them whatsoever. their flaws are exacerbated because they can't be sexualised and girlboss'd or failwife'd (which is not a problem reflected in male characters and them being 'husbandoable'). and this isn't an issue with the characters, but very much fan perception. there's no mistaking it, a lot of the hatred for himiko is just fans' misogyny; traits she gets criticised for having made gundam and kiyotaka fandom darlings. there's a fair amount of ableism in there too. himiko is never explicitly stated to have autism, but while i have the theory every character is at least somewhat autistic, himiko is probably one of the more obvious ones. she very clearly struggles with social interactions and her response to the life-threatening danger is to clam up and try to make herself seem insignificant, and she's a terrible liar - all traits common in autistic individuals, but additionally seen in depression. she reads to me like an autistic person with depression. to a danganronpa fan nothing is worse than an unsexy female character who is heavily implied to be autistic.

i absolutely do not get anyone who says she shouldn't have survived; the girl was berated and subjected to The Horrors every time she took a fucking breath. fuyuhiko might have had the most happen to him physically, but himiko definitely had way more on her plate. there's not a single murder in the game she wasn't accused of doing and she didn't want to bother with defending herself, and through chapter 2 and 3 she was put through the absolute fucking wringer. her magic show she put on to help everyone feel better about the motive was hijacked for the most brutal corpse disposal in danganronpa's history, then to top it off, she was accused of said murder by the person she trusted, with only tenko defending her innocence. she joins angie's student council for whatever security she can get as the smallest and weakest person left in the group, and then that crumbles when angie is found dead - the closest thing angie had to a friend. then, tenko offers to take her place as the medium of the seance, and dies because she did so. and honestly, himiko realising moments too late exactly what tenko meant to her and begging for her to move, to say something, is far more heartbreaking than anything to come out of any of the 5th chapters. and then, she gets accused of being the one to murder the two people she cared the most about. after all the shit she's already been through, of course she clams the fuck up and stops caring. she doesn't think she should've survived, the writing all but spells out that himiko's going through severe survivor's guilt, and she's just given up, if everyone goes down with her, so be it. it does require everyone to look at the case and provide himiko with a reason to go on; ultimately, she's the one who takes that purpose to keep moving forward (the old 'you can lead a horse to water' addage). and yet, STILL, she gets put through the wringer AGAIN in chapter 5 when she learns that it wouldn't have mattered anyway; they're the last people left alive and there's no more humanity. at every turn she's been given reasons to give up, again, and again, and again. and more realistically than someone heroically going 'no! i'll never give up!' she more realistically DOES give up - but giving up can be as difficult as not giving up, even more so. that's what she embodies - someone who very much does want to give up, but doesn't.

it's clear fans don't give a shit about the impact her death would have; when she dies in a fangan she's rarely given a second thought. so if her death would've been meaningless, why are people so upset she survived? that's a question i can't really answer - not when the characters that do die i think had to for the sake of the story. kaito and kokichi would've been terrible survivors because their stories do hinge on them dying; their deaths are their conclusions. but himiko, i think, for her story to have its intended effect - she needed to survive, and very much fought tooth and nail to do so.

i've noticed the video i made 3-4 years ago now did help to kind of rehabilitate her image because hatred was even more common before it but there's still quite a bit of unwarranted himiko hatred. my advice; get off twitter and get on cohost where i am and himiko's autistic swagger is always welcome

[salvador-daley]

Chained ⛓️ NEW CHAPTER

A Klaus Hargreeves murder mystery

A/N: Greetings, mystery fans! This chapter is a lot longer than previous chapters because it’s a pretty important one plot-wise. I hope the wait was worth it. Oh, by the way, did I mention Allison turns up in this fic? 🫢😮

We are so close to the end now I can almost taste it. Please share your thoughts, feelings and theories in the comments! 💚💚

Special thanks to @allisoooon for the highly sexual textual art - I love it (and you) so much!

CW: Drug abuse and other typical Klaus stuff

Snippet from Chapter 29: Family

“Hi, sis!” Klaus tries, giving her a little finger wave which he hopes comes across as cute and endearing.

Allison says nothing, continuing to stare at him. It’s a powerful tactic.

“Okay, I know what you’re thinking. And I’m sorry, okay? For whatever it is you’re still mad about.”

“You know the fact that there’s more than one possible option of things to be mad about isn’t a good sign, right?”

Klaus lets out an exasperated sigh. She was never going to make this easy. “All right, all right. I’m sorry about the car. And the curtains. And the time I let your dog get run over by that motorbike. And the magazine…”

Allison cuts him off. Her jaw appears to harden even more. “You told them my hair comes from Russian corpses.”

“It doesn’t?” Klaus asks with a blink.

Allison purses her lips together. “No.”

So that’s the thing she’s still mad about. At least they’re making progress.

“Gee, Allison, come on…”

“You also told them I’d had work done,” she spits.

“Well, I didn’t think they’d believe me! You’re so naturally pretty, everyone knows that.”

That last comment elicits the slightest flutter of her eyelashes - almost imperceptible. But it’s a sign that Klaus is wearing her down, chipping away at her defenses. If there’s one thing Allison can’t resist, it’s a compliment.

He takes a step forward. “Look, I’m sorry, sis. It was a stupid, selfish thing to do. But I was broke and I needed the money. If you let me in, I promise I’ll make it up to you. And I won’t break any of your antique furniture or steal any of your fancy knick-knacks, I swear.”

“And..?”

Klaus gives her a reluctant nod. “And I won’t put magic mushrooms in the punch bowl. Scout’s honour,” he adds with a salute. He takes another step towards her, closing the distance and offering his arms out. “Come on, I’ve missed you, sis.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she admits, if somewhat begrudgingly. Allison releases her pout and shrugs her arms out in his direction, bringing him in for a half-hearted hug.

He squeezes her and he feels her shoulders give in to his embrace, the last of her prickliness melting away.

“You better behave or I’ll rumour your head down the toilet.”

“I know,” says Klaus, squeezing her a little harder.

READ THE REST ON AO3

Reblogs feed the writer: @badsext @softforklave @anglophile-rin @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @allisoooon @cemeteryklaus @super-unpredictable98 @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @inspiremeandsetmefree @jender123 @vonkimmeren @sylvertyger @merrilark @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @squishitude @thislovelylife

[nalyra-dreaming]

I’ve loved reading yours and @cbrownjc thoughts about DM, I’m a big fan of the pairing but now I just feel a bit worried and disappointed following the finale. Would you be okay to hear me out and state what you think? I would gladly be convinced to be more optimistic!

During the season I’ve been leaning towards believing that they would do an exclusively present-day DM. I never found the Alice theories fully convincing cause that scene seemed to me better explained by other stuff. It showing how Armand is incredibly powerful with his mind gift (knowing of the proposal) and that Daniel was getting the flashback PTSD-style because Louis ”read” his mind similarly to how Armand did in the 70’s. Further I never felt that Armand was being kind with revealing that Alice didn’t trust Daniel. I do understand why other’s sees it as such but I just didn’t feel it came across as kind during the episode. It felt more like Armand trying to quickly intimidate Daniel to back off, which he basically stated the episode before was his plan. He did make an effort to stop Louis from pushing further in that scene however, so there’s that to be fair.

If they didn’t show any more flashbacks for Daniel this season I knew I was going to be more inclined to believe that there aren’t more memories. Because it arguably becomes too convenient that Daniel would only be getting flashbacks from those horrific days in San Francisco. That plot line and S02E05 thus far has seemingly boiled down to serving the plot in showing the extent of of Armand’s capability of deception + motivating Daniel to aggressively question Armand (as it relates to Daniel and Armand). I loved(!) the episode, but the lack of emotional fallout for Daniel and Armand disappointed me a little. Louis being awake the week following them abandoning Daniel and not knowing that Armand was out chasing/developing a relationship with Daniel also strains incredulity a bit. Like they could easily have had Louis state that he did sleep underground for a few years (if that is how/why Armand went after Daniel in the 70’s) in an episode - but they didn’t. I would love DM to have happened in the past - just to be clear. And yes, some of these points can be explained through a DM framework. I just feel the show hasn’t made an effort to purposely hint at it, which has made me doubtful. Because if they are going there shouldn’t they actually hint at it in a more substantial way?

When I heard of Daniel getting turned by Armand in the finale I thought that maybe Armand would do it as a form of revenge but fuelled by fascination and we would see the start of some sort of enemies-to-lovers-plot. I do think that during the series they are both checking each other out during a few different moments. So I thought that could develop into an interesting dynamic, them becoming fascinated with each other but also kinda hating each other. Which resulted in me looking forward to seeing the turning and the revelation of such a dynamic. Cause the fascination part is key IMO if this was to work, couldn’t just be hate.

However then I was completely floored by the fact that they didn’t show the turning at all! Frankly that was an extreme anticlimax! Why wouldn’t you show the scene of the tertiary main character being attacked and turned??? Given Arman’d comments about finding it repulsive to turn someone I do sincerely hope that this means that there is more to it, and that’s why we didn’t get to see it. But if that’s not true and they just skipped it cause it wasn’t important I’m honestly really sad about it, as a DM fan, but also as a Daniel and Armand fan (respectively). I also hate the idea of Armand turning Daniel just out of spite (and not caring that his fledgling will hate him cause that’s what fledglings do according to him). I’m generally worried now that they are just setting up Daniel as a vampire-chronicler at this point (and that he was turned cause it’s convenient for the plot going forward). And that maybe in the far distant future they will just have Daniel and Armand have a simple enemies-to-lovers-plot… which if that was the plan, I really feel they should have showed the turning already at least!

Last point: Armand definitely turned Daniel in Dubai, Louis’ expression ”I shouldn’t have left you alone with him” doesn’t make sense otherwise. He wouldn’t have put it that way (language wise) if he meant that Daniel was left on his own after Dubai. I saw some speculate about this and just wanted to point this out. I can be wrong about a lot of things, but about this I know I’m right. Also, Daniel saying ”make it up to me” does seem to affirm that he at least believes Louis to be right about Armand turning him to be spiteful (however he could just not want to share with Louis if there’s more to it). I’m really hoping there is more to it, but I’m a bit scared to hope now frankly. I’m hoping his curiosity about Armand means there was something more to the turning.

I have such mixed feelings now. I am very open to being told I’m being too pessimistic, so please share what you think is going on/what will happen. Thank you - and sorry for long post!

🤗 Okay so… for one I know my feelings on this don’t quite match cbrownjc‘s which is only logical. Just as a note.

There is no way Daniel was turned out of spite. And I have the suspicion that Louis is fully in on it. We‘ll see.

I personally do think the chase happened in the past. Alice and Armand got mixed. There were lots of hints and deliberate hooks and as we have seen this show is aware of its hooks.

And while Daniel most certainly will be the chronicler there will be a lot more to it all, I would bet real money on it. They already laid out the corner stones there with the Talamasca and Raglan. Lots of corner stones actually. ^^

I know the turning not being shown is disappointing rn. But it was very much intentional.

I just think… that with Loustat… DM is going to develop over the whole of the show.

The waiting will be the hardest part. :/

[kenna-is-reading]

Crescent City: House of Flame and Shadow Review

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Dear Readers,

I have, at long last, finished HOFAS!!! And I might just have more thoughts, questions, comments, and concerns than I did when I finished HOSAB. Strap in, cause we're in for a long post. I'd give a TLDR, but I think if you can get through 2,500 pages of Crescent City books, you can skim through this too :). I really enjoyed the book, but I feel like I want more time with these characters in order to really solidify them as a group. I am looking forward to the next book just to see how it all continues, especially given some of the connections that were made and the history that was revealed in this book. That said, let's wrap up the preamble and get into it.

Brannongate

I'm just gonna start with what was probably everyone's biggest takeaway from HOFAS, and that is Lidia being a confirmed relative of Aelin's. I was waiting for the TOG tie in, and I've had many different theories, but I knew as soon as we started getting into the deer shifter stuff, combined with Brann being Lidia's son's name, that it was coming soon. I definitely gasped out loud regardless when she said his full name, and I would very much like to get deeper into that history as soon as possible, because I miss TOG with every ounce of my soul and spirit. I love that Lidia is able to be so powerful with her fire, if only because I'm still mad that Aelin lost hers. I am not one of the genius Maasverse fans who have probably already figured out what everything means and how it will all happen going forward, but I am excited to be along for the ride to find out. Speaking of Lidia...

2. Lidia & Hypaxia

I would really love to see more of Lidia and Hypaxia as sisters and figure out what their dynamic will be. I feel like there could be a lot more to discover as far as the witches go, and I really like both characters. I really just want to see Lidia be able to love and trust and have a family. She has suffered a ridiculous amount and I want to see her happy. I think Hypaxia being the head of House of Flame and Shadow was a very interesting development, and I am interested in following that storyline further. I still feel like I don't know Hypaxia very well as a character, but that could also just be because we only really hear about her from other characters' perspectives. Her relationship with Lidia, if one is ever built, is definitely one of the aspects of the story that I am most excited to see develop.

3. Tharion or Sathia or Colin or Ariadne (to the tune of Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus)

These were the biggest questions I was left with at the end of HOFAS. Is Sathia okay? Did she get Colin out? What happened with the Viper Queen? What is Ariadne going to do? Why does Tharion consistently make such bad decisions? I knew that Tharion and Ithan, arguably the worst, most self-sabotaging decision makers in the series (if not the entire Massiverse), being the ones to transport the antidote was going to end...como se dice...badly. While I still love both of them down, I felt like Tharion definitely continued his streak of making me facepalm while reading to a very serious degree. His dedication to ruining his own life would be nearly admirable if it weren't so painfully stupid. That said, I don't think it was as bad as book 2. I liked his dynamic with Sathia, and I think he had good motives for marrying her. As I previously said, I do love Tharion. He's definitely one of my favorite characters in this series, but I want better for him. He and Ithan are so wracked by their own guilt that they only worsen things for themselves, but I'm really hoping it will get better for them as they all work as a group to establish a post-Asterian society. And speaking of Ithan...

4. Sunball McGee, Prime of the Valbaran Wolves

Some of y'all are about to be real mad at me. But it must be said.

Ithan Holstrom is one of my favorite SJM men.

Now, now, now- Let me finish- I have seen such a huge and, in my opinion, unwarranted amount of hate for Ithan as a result of his actions in this book. And while I 100% understand the frustration, (trust, I do!!!), I also understand Ithan. Think about it. This is a very young kid who is essentially a frat boy. His only personality trait, other than Make your brother proud, is sunball player. This is everyone's biggest complaint. Every time he is mentioned, he is reduced to sunball. And I know people find this redundant and annoying, but let's consider this for a moment. Walk with me. Sunball is all Ithan is reduced to, and I think that's the point. He thinks very lowly of himself. It is clear that he does not think he has anything else to offer aside from his sunball skills. In the whole quest to save Sigrid, (everyone's other complaint about him), he never once considers that he himself should lead. Again, this annoys people, but I think that is the point. His opinion of himself is so negative, and he lacks so much confidence, and he has lived so much in his brother's shadow that he seems like he had to cling to what he was good at in order to stand out and have something of his own. His identity as a wolf was somewhat overshadowed by Connor, his love for Bryce was overshadowed by Connor, and while he obviously loved his brother dearly and that's nothing against Connor, it would have made it very difficult for Ithan to develop his own sense of identity and sense of self outside of who he was related to and what he was good at. Now, am I reading too far into his character? Maybe. However, I am nevertheless appointing myself captain of the Ithan Holstrom Defense Squad, and I am trying to convince SJM Nation to join me. Signup sheet is by the door, grab a badge on the way out. I think becoming Prime is exactly what he needed to come into his own and figure out who he is, as a wolf, as a leader, and as his own individual. He has never been given permission to lead his own life, and now he must step up and take the reins of not only his own life, but the wolves' as well. All the deep psychoanalyzing stuff aside, I think him and Perry could be really cute. Don't know where y'all stand with that, but I was sensing some vibes between them that I wasn't mad at: "...Flynn and Dec across from him, the former eyeing Perry with an interest Ithan didn't entirely appreciate. Perry was blushing, and Ithan didn't appreciate that either...Perry laughed, and...okay, maybe Ithan liked the sound." (pg. 829). I really like Perry, despite seeing relatively little of her in the book. (I've only known Perry for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would k!ll everyone in this room and then myself). I'm curious as to what will happen with her, given that her scent didn't change when she took the antidote, etc. And I'll be done with my Ithan rant, but don't think I didn't notice the whole ice magic thing. I clocked that tea faster than Bryce can teleport. I won't make any theories, but all I'm saying is SJM men w Elsa magic >>>.

5. Call me Sigrid the way my life keeps getting progressively worse

Now I know we're not really supposed to care about Sigrid whatsoever at this point, but I feel obligated to note that she is out somewhere wandering, and the gang does not know where she is. I make it my personal mission to keep tabs on the opps of my favorite characters. I think she could have been more complex than a throwaway-side-villain character. She hasn't had a lot of choice in the things that have happened to her thus far in her life, but I do think she has to be kept out of the way so that Ithan can be Prime, so I can't guess at what will happen there, but I'm glad the Astronomer is gone. He was ticking me off.

6. Reapers and Necromancers and Lion Shifters, Oh My

I feel obligated to discuss with my fellow readers- do we all think the Lion Shifter Reaper that talked to Ithan and Hypaxia was the same one Bryce banged in book 1, or am I tripping? Ithan does think, "Gods, Bryce would have a field day with this guy-- his long golden hair was very carefully mussed" (pg. 608). Just something to think about, something I noticed, not important to the plot. Carrying on!

7. Ember & Nesta & My Tears

Let's just take a moment to read some lines that made me (No. 1 Nesta Stan) tear up!

"But Ember continued, looking only at Nesta, 'I am glad of one thing: that I was able to meet you.' Nesta's lips pressed into a thin line, and she glanced down at their joined hands...'Your mother loves you,' Nesta said quietly, reading the exasperated expression on Bryce's face. 'Don't for one second take that for granted.' Bryce could only incline her head to Nesta. 'I'm lucky,' she admitted. 'I've always been lucky to have her as a mom.' Ember really looked like she might cry now, especially as she turned back to Nesta and said, 'This time with you was a gift, Nesta. It truly was.' With that, she pulled Nesta into a tight embrace, and Bryce could have sworn something like pain and longing crossed Nesta's expression. Like she hadn't experienced a mom-hug for a long, long time" (HOFAS 813-814).

I truly love Nesta so much, and this book set up a lot for her in the next ACOTAR novel, which I really hope will have her perspective in it. I love Nesta and Bryce's potential friendship, and I hope there is more crossover content coming. I know a lot of people thought there was too much info-dumping about Fae history in this book, but I loved learning about the lore, and I think with Nesta's eight-pointed star situation could lead to us learning even more, which I am excited about.

8. Wyrd - Urd

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Finally some insight into the whole Urd thing! I have so many thoughts and theories about the different powers and gods in each series, and I'm so interested in the ways that they are intersecting and connecting. We learned that Urd is the Cauldron - "A cauldron of life, brimming with the language of creation...Wyrd, we called her in the old world" (pg. 692). The symbols on the "bowl" the statue of Urd is holding in this scene are most definitely Wyrdmarks, but the way they are described as tattoos running onto the statue's arms reminded me of Feyre's tattoos, which I thought was kind of a cool image: "And those symbols running from the bowl onto her skin...they were like tattoos" (pg 690). I am very interested in learning about the origins of the Under-King, too, him having come from the shifters' world. Again, I need to look further into theories to see if anyone with more brain power than me has figured it out, but I am really enjoying putting the pieces of this gigantic puzzle together.

9. HELLO????? VIKTORIA??????

Finally, I have to at least mention the gang's complete and total neglect to retrieve Viktoria from the bottom of the ocean, yet again. I understand y'all had a lot going on the first couple books, but come on. You've now worked closely and allied with not one but two Blue Court water queens, and you've gallivanted all over Midgard via submarine, and you're telling me not ONE person had so much as the THOUGHT of "oh hey, we should try to find Vik's box"??? And now that Asterigate has been resolved, they have no excuse! I feel so bad for her that they just...forgot about it? Assumed she's beyond help? I don't know! Justice for Viktoria!

10. Jesiba.

I love Jesiba Roga so much and I am so sad about her sacrifice, but I should have seen it coming. I think I did, but I was living in a river in Egypt. Talk about characters who are always two steps ahead, her having Ithan packing those boxes knowing darn well what she was going to do...Absolute icon. I shall never forget her. I've heard people saying that not enough people died, but I feel like it was simply spread out through the series and done a little differently than other SJM endings. This series started out with like seven people who meant the world to our MC being brutally slaughtered, we lost Lehabah, we lost Viktoria and Justinian, we lost Cormac, we lost Sofie, we lost the Prime, which some might not consider a "real" loss but he was on the right side, and then Jesiba. I think our characters suffered plenty, considering some character or another spent like half the series in an Asteri dungeon being horrifically tortured.

In closing, I will say that I really do love this world and these characters. I am so intrigued as to how it will change and develop going forward, especially with such a drastic shift in power in so many areas. I don't really care if the only conflict in the next book is them figuring out the Firstlight problem, I just want to know what happens next. I can't wait to dive deeper into the whole multiverse situation and see what is next for all of our favorite characters, and the more time goes on, the more ready I am for a new ACOTAR. Now that I have caught up on Crescent City, I will be diving headlong into Summer Reads, so I am thinking about doing some summer themed posts the next couple weeks to get into the summer vibes! If you read this far, thank you so much for giving half a crap what I think, and let me know what you think is next for the Maasverse! I want to hear all the theories, or things I may not have caught, or things you guys have figured out! Until next time! :)

XOXO,

Kenna

[nube55]

Hey lovely Nube 💕

Finally, finally, I have the opportunity to jump into your ask box & get to know you better!!! We're both huge fans of fanfiction so this ask game was made for us! As usual, I can't stick to one question only so, if you're ok with that, may I ask you: A8 | B5 | C2 | D8?

Looking forward to reading your reply 👀

Lots of love 💕

<><><><><><>

PS: your comment/reblog of Lucy's post about this stinky comment on her fic was perfect 👏

Hello Val!! 🎊 awwww thanks for stopping by!!! Hahaha don't worry, we'll get to all of them!

(Adding a read more cause this got LONG sorry I'm physically incapable of summarising)

What was your first fandom? Are you still in that fandom now?

My first fandom was Harry Potter. I am not in that fandom still and do not wish to engage in it anymore for a number of reasons, but it was my gateway to reading from an early age and it was an excuse to bond with someone I cherished a lot and who sadly isn't here anymore. I met some awesome friends through it too, friends that put up with me to this day! Hahaha

Which story have you read more than any other? How many times?

You know... come to think of it, I haven't read an entire fic all over! 🤔 (regarding multichapter fics). I do want to highlight the ones I've been going back for certain chapters/scenes that I love! This list shows a variety of writing styles that leave me on the ground swooning (Warning!! no concrete spoilers buuuut references to scenes):

Holy Ground by @lucysarah-c (ongoing): Lucy can pretty much give a masterclass on poetic writing and I'm not exaggerating. I come back to it for my faves: chapter 9 (aka Levi's quiet morning gets interrupted in the funniest of ways - for us readers, not for him lmao), chapter 11 (aka not knowing how to play Scrabble leads to interesting outcomes), chapter 15 (one OF THE BEST LEVI POV I'VE LAID MY EYES ON), and chapter 17 (when you can feel yourself in the scene, it's just that amazing)

North Star by @sixpennydame (ongoing): such SUCH a special story. I love coming back to chapters 6 & 7, the whole Mount Aspe arc is exquisitely written.

Spectrum by @19941117 (finished): I have nothing but praise for this story and the incredible talent of its author. It focuses on an AoT character I've never seen explored before, and has the most breathtaking of endings.

Silver Underground by @amywritesthings (ongoing): this girrrrl leaves Easter eggs everywhere so I had to go back an re-read many parts to come up with theories lmao. I really enjoy the first chapter, the pace in it, the dialogue, the tension. And the whoooole bit on the Underground arc makes my heart become pudding.

Please tell me I didn't f*** up any link hahaha.

What word or expression always makes you cringe when you read it?

Usually I cringe when I see a sustained behaviour that feels excesively out of character to me (in those cases I choose to opt out). I also feel cringe-y in NSFW scenes when intimate parts are refered to overly poetically for my taste. I'd rather have them refered to in a filthy way tbh 😂

Which fandoms do you read fic for?

Currently I'm 99% dedicated to AoT (had a YoI phase a couple years ago!). Buuuut I wouldn't mind reading some Vinland Saga stories 😏 (@atruewarrior I'm looking at you)

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Well I think that's it!! Thanks for the questions Val, have a wonderful week! 🌻🌻

Ask a reader meme