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megan-is-mia · 4 years

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Omggg I love your blog!! I'm new here and I'm already so hooked! 😊💖

Could I please request #14 of the monster yandere prompt with Malleus?? With spiciness of NSFW if possible please

XOXO

(I hope you stay hooked cause you’ll be in for a crazy ride, and hell yeah you can get your NSFW. You are lucky cause this fic is loooong) 14. “You know you can’t run from me forever, one day I’ll catch you” (Yandere! Malleus Draconia x Fem! S/o) (WARNING NSFW AND NON-CON AHEAD) ((MILD CHILD GROOMING)) “Malleus do wipe that bitter expression off your face” Lilia said in a scolding tone as he poked the young king whose mouth was fixed in a deep grimace. “I don’t want to, if I must go to this christening then I will but I refuse to pretend that I’m happy about it” Malleus replied folding his arms and looking out the window of the carriage. “You were so excited about going before, why the sudden change?” Lilia said giving the draconic-fae’s face another sharp poke.

“That was before you told me it was in the Enchanted Dominion” Malleus said, the corner of his mouth twitching with the force of his frown. “You know I cannot stand that bratty little prince Dimitri, and now there’s going to be two of them” he added with a shake of his head. The Enchanted Dominion was the kingdom closest to the Valley of Thorns, and because of that considerable effect was put in by both countries to keep their diplomatic relations at least peaceful if not outright friendly. “Actually it seems that King Klaude and Queen Eden were blessed with a little princess this time. I believe they’ve named her (Y/n), for the Queen’s late mother” Lilia said, his lips quirked up into a half-grin as he noticed that Malleus’s posture had relaxed with this additional information. They rode the rest of the way to their destination without any further chatter. The two fae were escorted into the banquet hall where a great celebration was already in process as various dignitaries approached to pay their respects to the baby.

Malleus let out a sigh as he walked up to the cradle where the infant princess lay half-asleep. As he stared down at the baby, he found himself begrudgingly thinking that she was rather cute. Not as cute as Silver had been as a babe, but definitely deserving of the cooing and coddling that had been given to her by all the visitors. Absentmindedly he reached down to stroke the child’s cheek and her little eyes popped open to look up at him. (Y/n) gurgled and tried to grab the fae’s finger in her tiny fist. It was like a switch was flipped inside the draconic-fae at this action by the newborn and he scooped the child up despite the cries of protest from the seated king and queen. (Y/n) continued to gurgle and stared up at Malleus sending him into a trance of sorts as his heart raced with infatuation for the sweet infant. It took Lilia tapping his shoulder for the young fae to finally return to reality and set the babe back in her cradle even as she tried to cling to Malleus’s fingers and began to cry as he walked away. Even as he put distance between himself and the child, the draconic-fae’s mind was filled with thoughts of the infant princess. He remembered nothing of the festivities that followed after everyone had paid their respects to the baby and he thought of nothing but her until the next day. Well, that wasn’t entirely true… even though he forced himself to focus on his responsibilities Malleus still found his mind wandering to the condition of Princess (Y/n) to the point that even Lilia noticed he was out of sorts. It wasn’t until the young king finally sent a messenger, in secret, to the Enchanted Dominion to inquire about the state of the baby princess that he was finally able to get some peace and complete his work for the day. At first, receiving an update once a day about the state of little (Y/n) was enough to satisfy Malleus’s curiosity. However, as the months passed the daily message he received just wasn’t enough anymore. He wanted to see the young princess, see how much she’d already grown in the last four months. Malleus had to fight the urge to simply teleport to King Klaude and Queen Eden’s castle to satisfy his need to see the child. He forced himself to be patient and wrote a formal letter requesting permission to visit the castle under the guise of a diplomatic visit. His request was eventually approved and the day after he was able to finally see little (Y/n) again. She was crawling now and was just as cute as he remembered her being if not more so. It was clear, even now, that the baby princess would be a great beauty when she grew up. Regretfully the dragon-fae wasn’t able to spend as much time as he would have liked with the little princess before he was dragged off on a tour of the castle by the king and queen. However, this brief second encounter with the adorable child confirmed one thing in his mind: Malleus could not wait for another four months to pass by before the next time he saw young (Y/n). He resolved to begin visiting the child in secret so he could watch over her like a benevolent ghost or a faithful shadow. Five years passed by, and Malleus dutifully watched over (Y/n) as she grew from a crawling baby to a waddling toddler and into an energetic little girl. He came to realize that his infatuation with her was not only growing but slowly turning into something not as innocent as it had been originally. The draconic fae knew it’d be only a matter of a few more years before the princess would be old enough to start entertaining potential suitors, and that was assuming that she didn't end up betrothed before that! The very thought of such a thing happening irked him beyond belief. In Malleus’s opinion, no mortal man would ever be worthy of his darling (Y/n). However, there wasn’t much he could do to stop such an event from happening. Unless… he asked for the princess’s hand before anyone else had the chance and secured his claim on his future queen now. That thought should have disgusted him, wanting to take a child as his bride to be. Yet instead it filled him with immense satisfaction when he really took the time to think about it. Really he was the best choice for the princess. Their kingdoms were right next to each other so their union would allow their countries to merge and prosper under their joint rule. Malleus knew that some of the lower-fae might object to having a human queen at first but he was sure they’d come to adore (Y/n) with time. Even though she was still very young, the dragon-fae could tell she would only grow in grace, intelligence, beauty, and maturity as the years went by. He’d already seen it during the times he’d already spent by her side.

When the time came for them to finally wed there would be no way anyone could object to their marriage. Yet before any of that could happen, he had to ask for King Klaude and Queen Eden’s permission to become Princess (Y/n)’s betrothed. When Malleus went to ask for that honor he did not go empty-handed. Oh no, he wanted to make it quite plain to his beloved’s parents that he’d make for a suitable husband with extravagant courting gifts as he made his request. However, the king and queen did not respond the way he’d hoped they would. Instead of being impressed by the gifts and his heartfelt request they were disgusted by his intentions towards their second-child. Malleus’s eyes narrowed as these pathetic mortals tried to lecture him about how reprehensible they found his offer to be. They threatened death upon him as well as war on his people if they ever caught wind of him getting anywhere close to the young princess again. Malleus found himself consumed by rage and teleported back to the Valley of Thorns unaware that his wrath had taken corporeal form as green flames that sprouted where he’d been standing last before spreading like an actual wildfire through the castle ravaging objects and killing people in its wake. When news of the terrible disaster came to the young king the next day he found himself desperately hoping that (Y/n) had somehow survived the terrible blaze.

Sadly this was not to be. While King Klaude, Queen Eden, and Prince Dimitri had managed to get out alive, the little princess had been consumed in the inferno before it had been successfully extinguished and the Enchanted Dominion held a funeral for their dearly departed princess a week later. Even Malleus attended the event albeit in disguise. He was far from ready to face the reality that (Y/n) was truly dead nor was he ready to handle the accusations from the king and queen for his crime.

Malleus spent the next decade and a quarter in a deep depression. What was the point of living when you had nothing to live for? He ate little, slept little, and tried to keep his mind busy with work improving the Valley of Thorns. Alas, there were still times when his mind was filled with thoughts of (Y/n) especially when the anniversaries of her death and christening passed by each year. This year would have marked the princess’s eighteenth birthday, the year she’d finally have been old enough to wed. Overcome with sorrow the young king disappeared in the forest that covered the border between the Enchanted Dominion and the Valley of Thorns to wander aimlessly until his mind would finally allow him some peace. When suddenly a beautiful voice caught Malleus’s ear and made him stand straight at attention. The voice was clear as the call of a songbird and soft like the jingle of sleigh bells. The draconic-fae found himself drawn to the voice, determined to find out what its source was. Malleus followed the voice all the way to a glen with a cottage situated at the center but it wasn’t the cottage that truly interested the dragon-fae at this moment. No, his interest was for the figure who had been singing all this time. For a moment, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him; there was no way the scene unfolding before him was really happening. There in the glen, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world… was Princess (Y/n). Not as he remembered her, but how he’d imagined she’d one day be. Beautiful and graceful as can be, (Y/n) sang for all the world to hear as she walked away from the cottage and toward where Malleus was standing in the shadows of the trees. As she drew closer the young fae was able to see the burned flesh of her left cheek and right arm clear as day. Malleus felt rage begin to bubble in his stomach, he’d been lied to all this time. The princess hadn’t died in the fire he’d created! They’d hidden her away in the forest probably in an effort to make him stop pursuing her. “So this is where they’ve been keeping you all these years… clever” Malleus said, stepping out from where he’d been standing in concealment and making the young woman shriek with surprise. “Hello (Y/n), you’re looking quite lively for someone who supposedly died in a fire thirteen years ago” he added with a smirk as the girl stared at him with bug-eyed disbelief. “Come on, I know you can speak. I just heard you singing quite beautifully before you knew I was here” he finished before going silent to await her response. “King Draconia! How’d you find me?!” (Y/n) said with undisguised horror. She’d spent most of her childhood and teenage years in fear that the dragon fae would locate her. The great fire he’d caused was one of her only vivid memories of her youth and had been the basis of many nightmares when she’d first been brought out into the forest. Her parents had been planning to marry her to a foreign prince this year and she would never have to worry about being in the crosshairs of a fae again. “Fate my dear child of man, we are meant to be together and so fate made it so” Malleus said coolly as he advanced on (Y/n) and grabbed her wrist as the girl’s eyes darted from side to side as she tried to formulate an escape plan. “ (Y/n), I would advise against trying to flee from me for you’d only be postponing the inevitable. You know you can’t run from me forever. One day I’ll catch you, and the longer it takes for that day to come the more pain you’ll cause both yourself and your family” he warned softly. “What do you want from me?” (Y/n) asked quietly even though she already knew the answer to that question. “The same thing I’ve always wanted from you. I want you to be my wife. I need a queen to rule by my side and I want that queen to be you” Malleus said calmly as he pulled the young woman against his chest and wrapped his other arm around her waist to keep her there. “And what if I don't want to be your wife or your queen?” (Y/n) said hesitantly and received a patronizing laugh from the dragon-fae in answer to her question. “I’ll raze the Enchanted Dominion to the ground and still take you as my bride. I’m giving you a choice to either accept your destiny with dignity or to cause massive suffering for your kingdom through a refusal of your destiny” Malleus said gently but firmly making it clear that there was no choice, not really. “I’ll marry you… and I promise not to fight” (Y/n) said quietly, letting her head flop forward to rest against the fae king’s chest. She was dimly aware of him pressing his lips against her forehead before everything went dark. Malleus cast a minor sleeping spell upon (Y/n) with a kiss to her forehead. He knew that she was probably trying to process everything that had just happened and wanted to ease the process by letting her rest for the time being. He teleported the two of them back to his castle and into his chambers where he gently tucked the young woman under the covers with another kiss to her forehead before leaving the room. As much as Malleus wanted to stay by (Y/n)’s side and bask in her beauty, his kingly duties called.

First thing, first he needed to tell Lilia the joyous news and start the preparations for the wedding. He found the older fae hanging around one of the attics in the castle and gleefully told him of his discovery in the woods. Lilia was overjoyed to see his ward smiling again after so many years of sorrow and he eagerly agreed to oversee the arrangements for Malleus and (Y/n)’s wedding. He shooed the young fae away telling him to not worry about it and that he’d handle the specifics of the matter. Next thing to do was sending a wedding invitation to King Klaude and Queen Eden. He kept it simple and didn’t reveal the identity of his bride until the final sentence of the invitation. Malleus handed the letter off to a messenger and sent them off to the Enchanted Dominion to deliver it to his future in-laws. The draconic-fae spent the rest of the day buzzing through his paperwork with a vigor he hadn’t shown in years. By the time the sun had set, Malleus was finished with his work and retired eagerly to his chambers where (Y/n) awaited him.

As he locked the door behind him, the dragon-fae smiled to himself. The princess was still deeply asleep from his spell and there was a little smile on her face. Malleus sat on the bed and ran his fingers through (Y/n)’s hair and found himself memorized by her beauty. The burn-marks on her face and arm did not detract from her good locks, if anything they made her even more beautiful in his eyes. He still wished that things had turned out differently and that he had been granted her hand when he’d asked all those years ago. However, Malleus couldn't say he was totally unhappy with how things had turned out. Sure, (Y/n) was afraid of him for now, but with time she’d come to see how much he loved her and fall just as madly in love with him as he was madly in love with her. The young king was certain of it, he would make the princess a happy bride, happy wife, and happy queen in time. The young fae was pulled from his thoughts by the young woman moving in her sleep and letting out a soft whimper It was clear that (Y/n)’s sweet dreams had now turned into a nightmare and Malleus dispelled the enchantment he’d placed upon the young woman allowing her to wake up from her terrible dream. The young woman blinked slowly and looked around her with an expression of confusion on her features. The draconic-fae did not speak, allowing his darling human to take in the features of the room as he continued to stroke her hair soothingly as she did so. “How do you feel child of man? I’m sorry for the abrupt waking but you were having a nightmare” Malleus asked and felt the princess suddenly stiffen as if she only just remembered who she was in bed with. The young fae let out a sigh as he pulled down the covers and pulled (Y/n) out and up into his lap. “Relax my dear (Y/n), everything is alright, your bad dreams cannot hurt you anymore” he said softly pressing his nose against the nape of the young woman’s neck.

“King Draconia… Did you… did we? While I was…” (Y/n) trailed off her face turning bright red with embarrassment as she tried to articulate her question. Malleus found it adorable how easily flushed the matter made her. He knew humans took such interpersonal relationships more seriously than the fae did and he couldn't resist teasing his sweet human a little over it. “Did I deflower you while you were asleep?” he asked bluntly, making the girl blush even more as she nodded her head.

“What do you think? Do you think I took your innocence already?” the fae crooned, enjoying the way the young woman squirmed at his words and her skin began to heat up from how flustered she was. “Be at ease, I was only teasing you a bit. Your virtue is still very much intact my dear child of man” Malleus said with a chuckle. “And that is how it will remain until our wedding night my love so worry not. I promise to not lay a finger on you until then” he finished pressing a kiss to (Y/n)’s chin. “King Draconia—” a finger was placed over (Y/n)’s lips. “— (Y/n), I’d prefer it if you called me by my first name. We’re going to be married after all so you might as well start getting used to it” Malleus interrupted gently. “Malleus” the young woman said, not quite sure she liked the way the word sounded in her mouth. “Malleus... how long until we are to be wed?” she said even though she didn’t really want an answer to her inquiry. Maybe if the date was far enough in the future, she’d have a chance to escape and warn her family. “We will be wed by the end of the week my dear” Malleus replied, his words chilling (Y/n) to the core. “E-eh-end of the week?! That’s way too soon! We hardly know each other, we can't get married yet! I already agreed to marry you, can’t we take it slowly?” the princess said frantically with obvious dismay in her voice. “I have already been forced to wait thirteen years for you to reach maturity my dear child of man. So on the contrary, I think the end of the week is not soon enough” the fae replied with a small frown. “But, but… I’m not ready to be queen” (Y/n) said desperately. “I can’t be queen! Look at me!” the princess added frantically gesturing at her burnt face and then looking back at Malleus with a pleading look. “I am looking at you (Y/n), and what I see is the soon-to-be Queen of Thorns” the fae said resting his chin on the girl’s shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about, I will be by your side every step of the way through this experience you have my word” he finished as he pressed kisses to her collarbone. (Y/n)’s mouth opened again, but no words came out. What else could she say? The fae’s mind had been made up and there was nothing she could say to change it. Sure she could try running away, but doing such a reckless thing was sure to backfire on her. Even if she got away, Malleus would undoubtedly go after her family and take out his rage on them. The princess felt tears welling up in her eyes and soon her cheeks were damp as the tears began streaming down like little rivers on her face. Malleus forced her to turn around in his lap so he could wipe the tears away and spoke what he must have thought were words of comfort but only brought despair to (Y/n) who sobbed until she was out of energy and passed out in the fae’s lap. The next few days were a blur to the princess, between the lectures on fae etiquette in the morning and being forced to accompany Malleus when he held court each afternoon there was hardly a moment of peace for the young woman.

The only relatively quiet moments (Y/n) got were the three hours in the evening during the dress-fittings for her wedding gown. The seamstress had the tact not to ask about the burns that covered the princess’s left cheek, upper back, right arm, lower abdomen, and left leg. The young woman knew the fae wanted to ask questions but appreciated that she did not voice them. Instead putting her energy into making sure the dress would fit (Y/n)’s conservative tastes and cover her marred skin. The day of the wedding finally arrived with the finishing touches being put on the dress even as (Y/n)’s face was caked in make-up and her hair was pulled back into an elegant updo. Since her father King Klaude would probably not be in attendance, the ancient fae Lilia Vanrouge had volunteered to be the one to walk the young woman down the aisle and was permitted to help with getting her into the freshly completed gown. Once everything was laced up the girl was permitted to see herself in a mirror. “Well I’ll be, you look exquisite” Lilia commented as he watched the girl stare at her reflection with wide eyes. (Y/n) found herself overwhelmed with sorrow. The woman in the glass looked like a regal queen, not the terrified teenager she knew she was under the makeup and dress she wore. For a moment despite how ridiculous it was, she considered trying to run for it now. However, Lilia’s hand clamping down on her arm and gently guiding out of the room put an end to that notion. (Y/n) let herself be led down the aisle to where Malleus stood with an eager grin at the altar. Distantly she was aware of the sounds of screaming. The princess turned her head and locked eyes with her mother Queen Eden. She wanted to run to her mother and hide her face in the familiar warmth and aroma of cinnamon that clung to the queen’s clothes. However, she couldn’t move a muscle, whether it was because she was frozen with fear or it was because Malleus had bewitched her… she’d never know. When the time came to recite her vows there was no passion behind the young woman’s words, which were in vast contrast to the dragon-fae’s impassioned oaths that had been spoken only moments before hers. They exchanged rings and kissed before (Y/n) was swept off her feet by Malleus and carried up to his chambers before being dropped on his bed. She watched as the fae fumbled to undo the tie on his dress shirt before giving up and just ripping it off before sitting on the bed and kissing her again. This kiss was worlds different from the one they’d just shared at the altar and all the ones he’d given her over the past six days. This kiss was hungry, and it would not be easily satisfied. (Y/n) tried to pull away from the liplock but Malleus’s arm wrapped around her waist keeping her close as he forced his tongue into her mouth and ran it over the roof of her mouth, inside of her cheeks before darting under her tongue in what he probably thought was a playful move. (Y/n)’s vision was starting to go dark from lack of air when Malleus finally pulled back before flipping her over to start unlacing her dress before running out of patience and just tearing the back open so he could feel her skin under his hands. He had planned on taking his time originally, it was going to be his darling’s first time with a man and he did not want to hurt her unnecessarily. However, she looked so intoxicating it was hard to hold himself back and not just rip everything off so he could bend her over and fuck her. He had to force himself to take a few deep calming breaths as (Y/n) quivered beneath him. With his head a bit clearer now, Malleus slowly pulled the top half of the dress down to the young woman’s hips as he peppered kisses down her spine. He sat back on his heels and began unbuttoning his shirt and jacket so he could shrug them off onto the floor beside the bed. The dragon-fae gently rolled (Y/n) onto her back once more before bringing her hands up to his lips so he could kiss them. “I love you” he said in a low purr as he continued to press kisses to the girl’s fingers and gazed down at her with his cheeks now a faint shade of pink. “I love you so much” Malleus added, adjusting his grip so he could pull (Y/n) up into a seated position and kiss her again. He let go of her hands but kept kissing her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and began laying back so she’d fall on top of him. One of the fae’s hands crept down to cup at the curve of the young woman’s ass before lightly squeezing it.

(Y/n) threw her head back and let out a soft squeak at the sudden grope to her rear before hiding her face against Malleus’s neck. The young king smirked to himself as he squeezed again this time with a bit more force, and received a second adorable sound from the girl as her cheeks turned red with embarrassment. Not wanting to waste any more time undressing her, Malleus snapped his fingers making (Y/n)’s dress vanish into thin air and leaving her with nothing but her undergarments to preserve her modesty. The young woman tried to squeeze herself flat against the fae, shivering from how drafty the room was as well as the fear she felt coursing through her veins. Malleus allowed her to lay like that for a few moments before he coaxed her head up for more kisses. He slipped a hand under the cup of her bra so he could grope her chest experimentally. (Y/n) wasn’t the most well-endowed but the bounty she did have was more than enough in his eyes. He playfully pinched her nipple enjoying the way she twitched in response to his touch. The dragon-fae’s other hand retook its place on the young woman’s rump, squeezing roughly before slipping in between her thighs to press his nails against the fabric of her panties and tease her clit underneath. (Y/n)’s body twitched again, this time more violently and the fabric of her panties became damp from the stimulation she was receiving. Malleus pulled back from the kiss to chuckle at this cute response and continued his teasing until the young woman was shaking like a leaf with her eyes rolled back from his ministrations. (Y/n) wasn’t completely oblivious to the carnal pleasures of the body. She’d experimented quite a bit when she was first going through puberty. Yet all of that had been on her own, it was something else entirely to have her body manhandled by someone who knew what they were doing and wasn’t afraid to get a bit rough with her. Thankfully Malleus’s fingers went still and fell from between her legs to rest on the bed as his face contorted into an expression of thoughtfulness before he brought that hand up to her chest With a hand already under her shirt, it was easy for the young fae to pull the princess’s brassiere up and off her body before tossing it aside onto his shirt and jacket on the floor. Malleus pressed his face between (Y/n)’s breasts inhaling her unique aroma of raspberry and blackberry. His tongue flicked out from his mouth as he licked up the valley betwixt her boobs lapping at her delightfully, soft skin before reluctantly pulling back so he could reposition the girl into facing away from him with her legs straddling his chest. The young woman was perplexed momentarily by this sudden shift in position before her eyes focused in on the bulge in the fae-king’s pants and felt his hand on her back forcing her to bend forward. (Y/n) braced an arm on the bed next to Malleus’s thigh and with the other, she shyly ran her fingers over his clothed erection. Her move was rewarded with a soft growl and she repeated it a few times before a squeeze to her leg told her that more effort was necessary.

Timidly she undid the buttons to the draconic-fae’s pants and let out a yelp at his boner, no boners sprung free. (Y/n) stared bug-eyed at the twin dongs with a bewildered expression before jolting as her panties were ripped off and something wet touched her clit. Malleus’s free hand pat her butt to remind her of what she was supposed to be doing before it trailed down to the nape of her neck and gently pushed down on it so her face was now brushing against the dragon’s double cocks. Taking the hint she stuck her tongue out to give one of dicks a cautionary lick. The other she ran her fingers over tentatively. Malleus let out a purr and thrust his tongue into her cunt in answer to her inexperienced touches. (Y/n) was starting to understand what was being asked of her and responded accordingly, shyly taking the head of one member into her mouth and the other into her fist before slowly taking more of the fae’s cock until it was all the way in and someway down her throat. She went still for a moment, letting her oral chamber get used to the feeling before she pulled back a little and repeated the process with her hand moving in time to her mouth. While she jerked and blew the dragon-fae, he, in turn, fingered and tongue-fucked. Malleus knew if he wasn’t careful and didn’t probably stretch (Y/n) out beforehand he’d only hurt her instead of pleasing her. His free hand trailed down from her neck to tease her chest again causing the girl to choke a little on his rod. Slowly (Y/n) managed to find a rhythm to her movements and was able to disassociate somewhat from what was happening to her. Of course, it wasn’t possible to completely dissociate with Malleus’s mouth and fingers in her pussy but she was going to take what she could get. Her brain was going a bit hazy now, the combination of being eaten out and having a cock down her throat making her vision go blurry before she felt something burst inside her and she came all over the young fae’s face. A moment later she felt his cocks twitching in her mouth and hand, this was the only warning she got before she found herself coated in cum both inside and out. She had no choice but to swallow the dragon’s load as he lazily licked up her fallen juices and gave her cunt a quick swipe with his tongue to make sure he got everything. (Y/n) pulled off Malleus’s cock and tried to wipe off the cum on her face and hand on the mattress with little success before she was abruptly forced onto her back again. The fae-king stared down at his wife’s flushed face and felt both his heart and cocks twitch at the adorable sight before him. Malleus positioned himself between (Y/n) legs and lightly pressed the heads of his cocks against her now well-prepped pussy. He smiled at her as he began to slowly sink into her inviting depths. The young woman let out a whine, even though she’d already stretched out by the fae’s fingers and tongue it still wasn’t enough to make this part completely painless. Thankfully Malleus took his time sheathing himself, running his hands over (Y/n)‘s skin and pressing kisses to help her relax and take him without injury. The princess’s legs were wrapped loosely around the young king’s hips and her hands had balled into fists that caused her nails to dig into her palms so they were bleeding a little. The fae went still when he noticed this and clicked his tongue scoldingly before he reached down to force her fingers to uncurl from clenched fists “If you need something to grip onto, may I offer these instead?” he crooned bringing her hands up to his horns and gently encouraging her to grab tight to them before resuming the task of slowly burying himself inside the girl’s cunt. (Y/n)’s hands tensed up on Malleus’s horns and she began babbling nonsensically for him to stop. The fae-king ignored these ramblings as his mouth latched onto one of the young woman’s boobs and began to suck lightly as he finally bottomed out inside her. Malleus did not move until (Y/n)’s breathing had stabilized again and her body had finally relaxed again. He pulled back a little, and thrust forward striking her sweet spot directly and making her body arched up into his. The fae repeated this motion again and again with varying speed and intensity. Sometimes it was slow and gentle, sometimes it was fast and rough, and sometimes it was somewhere in between. Regardless it didn't take long until the young woman was babbling for a very different reason. To the fae-king’s delight, his darling human’s hips pushed back against his needily which only egged him on into being wilder and wilder with her. His teeth dug into her neck, her chest, any flesh he could get his mouth on was soon covered in marks. It made for a fitting contrast the burn-marks of passionate rage and the bite-marks of raging passion to cover his beloved one. Even better when (Y/n)’s fingers fell from Malleus’s horns they found a new perch in his shoulders and he let out a lusty growl as she bit down on his shoulder. The two drove each other closer and closer to that coveted high of orgasm before finally going over the edge in a fit of moans and groans that shook the very walls. Neither party spoke for a long while, too busy trying to catch their breaths as the horny haze over them began to clear. Malleus finally gathered the strength to gently pull out, his cocks flopping limply against the mattress as their exit was followed by a gush of cum flowing out of (Y/n)’s ruined cunt. The fae gently scooped the escaping jizz back into his darling’s pussy making her whimper weakly at this attentional stimulation to her already oversensitive body. Malleus chuckled softly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead and grabbed a plug from the nightstand beside the bed. Carefully pressing it against (Y/n)’s gaping cunt until it slipped it and prevented any more cum from dripping out and ruining the sheets. He had a second reason for doing such a thing of course. He knew that the sooner they had a child the better. A babe of their two people was sure to put an end to any objections that the princess’s parents might attempt to raise against him for taking what was his. Malleus knew that the human king and queen wouldn’t dare try to start war if there was an unborn grandchild they might put at risk. Plus… he wanted to be a father, a real father. As he pulled (Y/n) under the covers with him, his mind was full of thoughts of their future together as the King and Queen of Thorns… THE END

#Yandere Malleus Draconia #Malleus Draconia #Yandere TWST #TWST #Yandere Twisted Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland

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asterroidd · 4 years

Text

the double life of a feline

↬ Modern AU

↬ Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

↬ Word Count: 1.4k

↬ Warning/s: Swearing, horrible pun

↬ Synopsis: Little did you know that your cat has an ongoing affair behind your back.

In recent weeks, you have noticed that your tuxedo cat had become chubbier, which made you skeptical. You were a hundred percent sure that you have been feeding it the appropriate amount of cat food. Nothing more, nothing less. Suppose he had been hunting wild birds, which could explain the decline in population of local birds in your neighborhood. It might be, since your cat was once a stray, and even domestic cats nowadays are known to occasionally hunt in the night. They are natural-born hunters after all.

But it doesn’t erase the fact that your cat’s fur would sometimes smell like black tea. Which was odd since you don’t drink the mentioned beverage. You prefer coffee since it provides your daily need of caffeine. There were also instances where his fur is properly groomed, no knots to be found, and his nails are perfectly trimmed. Could it be that your cat has been living a double life?

Currently, your furry friend is beside you, with its back against the soft coverings of your couch. It was clear that he is having the best time in his world. With its day consisting of sleeping, eating, grooming, and sleeping once again. You could hear its faint purring, a sign that he is content and comfortable in your presence.

“Sir Meowsalaut. . .” you trailed off, gazing at your cat. “Have you been cheating on me?”

The cat opened its eyes lazily, briefly gazing at you before yawing and stretching its paws. It gave you a soft ‘meow’ before dozing back to sleep. You pouted, you expected better things from him. Sir Meowsalaut was a former stray cat, one that you adopted when you found him lying on the street heavily injured after being in a fight with some other cats in the area. He was bone-thin and covered with fleas, but still have fire inside him. You did not think twice in bringing him to the nearest veterinary clinic, fully dedicating yourself to this one feline. You could not just ignore him and watch the cat die, alone and cold.

“I work my ass off for you, the least you could do is stay loyal,” you murmured, in which your words fell on deaf ears. As much as you wanted to scold the lazy feline for its suspected infidelity, your work shift is nearing. Sighing, you pushed yourself off the couch to prepare. You dreaded your part time job as a waitress in a nearby coffee shop. Life as a college student is hard, especially if one is drowned in endless amount of debt and student loans. Nonetheless, you forced yourself to wear the uniform—a simple cream-colored buttoned-up blouse paired with brown knee-length skirt and red scarf to be tied around your neck—which thankfully is comfortable to wear. Trudging around your apartment, Sir Meowsalaut watched you. The tuxedo cat bored out of its mind and itching to explore outside. A young tomcat much like himself has urges after all.

“Don’t be a pesky kitty!” you called out before leaving Sir Meowsalaut alone in your apartment. Unbeknownst to you, your balcony door was left slightly ajar.

An opportunity was given and Sir Meowsalaut was not going to let it slide. The feline rose from his resting position, stretching his paws for a few seconds. His green orbs scanning the room he grew accustomed off the past few months. While, indeed, he loved you dearly (mainly since you provide his daily meals), the tuxedo cat yearned for adventure. He hopped off the couch, taking his time in walking towards the balcony door.

Due to your stupidity, it was left wide enough for him to slip past through, and sure he did. Though, he had minor difficulty given that his body expanded due to an increased intake of food. The feline jumped on the small shelf where your potted plants reside it, rattling a few off. Sir Meowsalaut did not care though, all he wanted was to visit his other friend in the apartment beside yours.

The cat prepared itself for the jump, eyes focused and limbs crouching down. Then, it pushed itself off the ground, gracefully landing on the other side. Sir Meowsalaut blinked, peering inside the glass door. His tail curved at the tip as he saw his friend. The feline then pawed at the door, its nails eliciting a screeching sound against the glass. And to his delight, his friend noticed him. Sir Meowsalaut waited patiently as the figure approached him.

“Oh, you again?” the male spoke out whilst opening the door to let the cat inside, Sir Meowsalaut making sure to brush its cheek against his legs. The mischievous cat was sure going to take his sweet time in this male’s apartment.

The sun was already gone by the time your shift had ended. It was a slow day, thankfully. A few customers here and there would walk in to order a beverage or two. While your co-workers chatted with one another, you made use of the time by cleaning the café, hopefully your boss would notice your actions and would give you a pay raise.

Your thoughts would always circle back to your cat, concerned about his ever increasing body weight. It could be hypothyroidism, which (as you have researched) could sometimes cause a feline’s obesity. However, your co-worker did suggest that it could just be a lack of exercise. Which made sense since Sir Meowsalaut had been doing nothing but dozing off in your apartment. You tried enticing him to play with mouse toys but he paid no interest to it. Perhaps an exercise wheel? You made a mental note to check online shops. For your dear catto, you are willing to spend every last drop of money to satisfy him.

A sigh escaped your lips as the familiar building of your apartment drew near. Finally. A well-deserved rest. Though, something caught your eye. A mix of black and white fur, sleeping peacefully on top of the windowsill. Its body pressed against the glass pane. It was then you realized that it was Sir Meowsalaut himself. Your heart swelled at the idea that your beloved cat was waiting for you.

Until it hit you.

Sir Meowsalaut was inside a different apartment. In fact, it was the one next to yours.

“What—” you blinked. How in the world did that fat cat escaped. Then it dawned on you, your balcony door slightly opened. You knew it! Sir Meowsalaut was indeed cheating on you! With a neighbor nonetheless!

Storming, you quickly rushed inside the building to inform your neighbor of your cat’s malicious activities. You knocked on the door precisely three times, then waited patiently.

“What do you want?” the door was pulled open to reveal a young man (suppose in his mid 20’s) looking at you with an annoyed expression. He had straight black hair, which was styled in an undercut curtain. You took notice the dark circles forming under his narrow gray eyes. The male raised a brow, waiting for you to speak out.

“So uhm. . . look. I am your next-door neighbor and this may seem weird but I saw my cat in your window earlier and I think he might be cheating on me with you. I am sorry for the inconvenience but can I please have him back,” you rambled.

The male blinked at you, processing your words. “Your cat cheated on you. . ?”

You nodded.

He seemed to glance back at the cat, before looking at you once more. “Make sure to keep an eye on him next time.” The male opened the door wide enough to let you inside his apartment.

“Sir Meowsalaut you cheater! How could you do this to me!” you exclaimed once close enough to the feline. The cat yawned, then looked at you with bored eyes, its tail swaying slowly.

“You call the cat ‘Sir Meowsalaut’?” the male questioned.

You blinked. “Yeah. . .?”

“That’s a shitty name.”

You took great offense to that. “Hey! It’s a nice pun!”

The male ignored your protest, preparing himself a cup of black tea. “Just hurry up and take the fat cat.”

Pursing your lips, you picked up Sir Meowsalaut with all your might, he did gained weight after all. His chonky body pressed against yours. “Say. . . I didn’t catch your name,” you uttered.

Your neighbor took a sip from his cup (in which he held in an odd way) before answering. “Levi.”

“If you want, Levi. I could maybe treat you to brunch at some point? To make up for feeding this guy,” you suggested, pointing to Sir Meowsalaut.

“Fine by me,” he replied.

You beamed at him, before stepping out of his apartment. Perhaps you could forgive your cat and his infidelity, since you got a date with a cute guy next door.

Sir Meowsalaut would 10/10 cheat again.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi #levi ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #asters fics

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ibijau · 4 years

Note

Ok, here's a prompt for you, should you choose to accept it, as a fellow angst connoisseur. I've been reading Impenetrable Walls by Gina3 which is a concubine AU, except so far Wei Ying has been too dumb to understand that his job as a concubine is to f*ck, but all the servants around him keep telling him to make sure Lan Wangji is happy or it's all their lives at stake. 1/2

2/2 Anyway, the prompt is this: imagine this scenario but with Xisang or Xiyao. Xichen is the emperor, he has spent his whole life being venerated and served and then he is gifted Huaisang/Meng Yao as a concubine and they both know they have no choice but to make the emperor happy no matter what. Xichen is convinced he's in a happy relationship and unaware that he has in fact been raping his partner this whole time, because there is no possible consent in this situation. The angst! Just imagine

Yes hi hello I, uh. Took this and ran with it, even though I have prompts left from the last ask meme and a bunch of fics that I should be updating and also actual work to do. But like. Fuck yeah. This is exactly the sort of awful, shitty, cruel settings that I love writing so bless you for sending me this.

It was a rare and pleasant day for His Highness when Nie Mingjue could take a break from the war on the frontier and visit the palace. On those too rare occasions, His Highness always allowed himself a break from protocole and tradition and, for a few hours, simply became Lan Xichen again. He had so few friends left since rising to power, but Nie Mingjue had never faltered once, never once treated him as a living divinity as others did, knowing it was not what Lan Xichen wanted from their friendship. It must have been a family trait.

As he walked toward his private quarters, Lan Xichen smiled to himself, certain that his dear little bird must be so happy to see his brother again after many months. Nie Huaisang always smiled so brightly after those rare visits, while teasing Lan Xichen with a renewed insolence that always deligthed him. It would be so nice to have his two closest, most beloved people with him at once, however briefly, and Lan Xichen couldn't wait to surprise them. He shouldn't not have been free for them until a little while longer, but on a whim he had cancelled a council. There was little point in being emperor if he could not get away with something selfish here and there.

As he entered the little house he'd ordered to be built for Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen heard his little bird chatting with his brother and stopped for a moment, suddenly feeling guilty for taking away the siblings' precious chance for a private discussion. Although Nie Huaisang rarely complained about anything, Lan Xichen knew that his little bird missed home dearly sometimes. No amount of presents and coddling could change that, and while the two of them were so happy together, a lover simply wasn't a brother.

As he hesitated though, Lan Xichen quickly noticed that something appeared to be off with his little bird. His voice, usually so soft and full of laughter, was uncharacteristically dry as he chatted with his brother.

“With Wen Xu dead, that bastard Wen Ruohan won't manage much longer,” he heard his little bird say, the violence of the words half shocking Lan Xichen. “His first born was a good general, whereas the second one... Is Wen Zhuliu still serving them?”

“For now,” Nie Mingjue replied flatly, apparently undisturbed to hear his delicate little brother comment on war affairs. “We're working on turning him. Lord Jiang's wife knew him when he was young, so we're having her make offers to take him in if he switches sides. You were right though, he is stupidly loyal.”

“You probably won't get him,” Nie Huiasang agreed, “but Wen Ruohan will hear about those offers and he won't trust him as much... and that means he'll have to rely on his idiotic second son instead. If Wen Chao is put in charge of their southern army, the war is as good as won for us. Can you imagine? Peace again!”

“But at what cost?”

A silence fell between the brothers. Out of curiosity, Lan Xichen came closer to get a look at them without being seen himself. An emperor ought not to have hidden, least of all inside his own palace, his own home, but something about that conversation was making him increasingly uncomfortable.

When they were alone, Nie Huaisang never wanted to talk about politics, pouting and complaining that he never understood anything of it. To hear him give his opinion about the border wars with such certainty was... unsettling.

And so he looked at his little bird and his dearest friend, sitting together at a table. Nie Mingjue was in a more comfortable position than he usually allowed himself in presence of the emperor, though there was a clear tension to his shoulders. As for Nie Huaisang, although he was wearing the same delicate and colourful robes as always while his hair was done up in an elegant bun decorated with elaborate pins, he seemed like a stranger, sitting not like the poised boy Lan Xichen knew and adored, but instead with no more grace than a soldier resting after a battle.

“Peace always comes at a price,” Nie Huaisang pointed out, rolling his eyes. “This one isn't so bad.”

“Are you going to tell me you're happy with your life?” Nie Mingjue scoffed. “That you're satisfied with being the emperor's whore?”

“Of course not,” Nie Huaisang sighed with a grimace. “Still, to defeat the Wens... it's not such a big price to pay. I don't blame father. He saw his chance to finally make me be useful to the clan, how could he not have taken it?”

A twisted, piercing cold seized Lan Xichen, making it near impossible to breathe. He had wanted to come out of his hiding place and order Nie Mingjue out of their home at hearing him call his own brother a whore, only to feel slapped in the face at his little bird's response.

It made no sense. Nie Huaisang was happy. Of course he was happy. Lan Xichen made sure to give him everything he could ever want, robes of expensive silk, beautiful fans painted by the greatest masters, all his favourite dishes served daily... he had even started construction on an aviary for him, so he could gift him rare and exotic birds. Nie Huaisang was happy. He said so often, made it clear through his actions, always enjoying seducing Lan Xichen as soon as they could be alone.

They were happy and in love.

They had been happy and in love since the first time they had laid eyes on each other at a banquet and Nie Huaisang, not realising who was in front of him, had chatting with him and teased him over wearing badly coordinated robes. By some great luck, Nie Huaisang had been sent to work in the imperial palace soon after and Lan Xichen had not lost a moment in pursuing that chance of friendship. It had soon turned into something more intimate, with Nie Huaisang being officially named his concubine so there could be no accusations of impropriety.

“I'm going to take you back home someday,” Nie Mingjue grunted. “The day father dies, I'll ask to have you back, I swear.”

“Don't be stupid,” Nie Huaisang retorted. “You think His Highness will let me go? I'm stuck here for life, or until someone else finds him a prettier boy to play with. And that's impossible, we both know I am, and by far, the prettiest boy in the entire country. Possibly the world even. Ah, it's a curse to be so beautiful.”

“Huaisang!”

Something shifted in Nie Huaisang's eyes. He slumped on the table, reaching out to take his brother's hand and holding it tight.

“I swear it's not so bad,” he sighed. “He's nice. He's doing his best to be nice. Please don't worry about me, and don't... don't do anything reckless on my behalf. I chose this. I agreed to this. He asked me if I wanted to be his concubine, and I said yes.”

“Could you have said no?”

Instead of answer Nie Huaisang laughed in such a broken way that Lan Xichen felt nauseous. Of course his little bird could have denied that request. Lan Xichen had even told him so when he had asked for this, reminded him that even his friendship was enough to make him happy.

Nie Huaisang could have said no.

Nie Huaisang should have said no.

“Can you imagine what father would have said?” Lan Xichen heard his little bird say in a bitter voice that no longer sounded like his. “MingMing, we needed His Highness's support. We have it. There's nothing more to be said about this, so let's drop that subject. I'm... I'm really not so bad off in here, just a little lonely. I hope when the war is won, you can come more often. You're my only link to the outside world, so do your job. Give me news. How are the Jiang kids? And Wei Wuxian?”

“Lord Jiang gave him a command at last,” Nie Mingjue announced. “And the young Lady Jiang is to be married to young Lord Jin after all. The ceremony will be held in three months.”

Immediately, Nie Huaisang sat up straighter and smiled so brightly that it rivalled the sun.

“Really? Oh, that's so great!” He exclaimed, half laughing. “They'll be perfect for each other, I'm so glad it worked out after all! Tell me what happened?”

Seeing him so happy for the friends he often swore he did not miss was the last drop for Lan Xichen. It was obvious, now, how insincere his little bird's smiles had been when directed at him, how fake his joy, how forced his laughs. And so, while Nie Mingjue told his brother about a happy couple figuring out their path to happiness, Lan Xichen mourned the loss of his own and quietly retreated from this little house where, for the last three years, he had been fed lie after lie.

He had freed his afternoon for the purpose of his two dear friends' company, but it would be easy to find some task or other that needed his attention. An emperor's work was never done.

And work, once more, was all he had.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #concubine au #jau writes #given half a chance I will absolutely write more on this #for the record I'd say the spark at their first meeting was sincere #but then politics happened and nhs had to play along to help his clan's needs #thehobbitbadger

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rainbowshawn · 5 years

Text

Home

A/N: This is based on a request from a prompt list by the lovely @fallinallincurls !! Go read her masterlist!!!

Summary: Shawn comes home from tour and all he needs is you.

Warnings: None? Just a bunch of fluff :)

Word Count: 2k

Months had gone by and Shawn was finally on his way home to you. He was finally finishing up his world tour and you two were practically bouncing off the walls to reunite. While he was away, all you had were blurry facetimes, static phone calls, and simple snapchats to fill the void of your missing boy.

Be home in 20. Can’t wait to see you, my love. xx

A giddy smile beams down at the text that lit up your screen and you quickly type out a reply. You make your way into your closet, grabbing some comfy clothes to sling over your body before you head over to Shawn’s condo. You observe your rosy cheeks in the mirror and smile at yourself as you tug your hair up into a messy ponytail. You grab your phone, checking the time.

8:46 pm

Calculating the time in your head, you slip on a pair of shoes and grab your coat as you make your way out of your house. You figure he’s just made his way home and you live about 15 minutes away, giving him a little time to settle in. The drive seems to drag on forever though, as you weave through the busy, traffic-ridden streets of Toronto. Butterflies rumble through your tummy in flocks as you think of reuniting with your beloved boyfriend after months of being apart.

9:03 pm

You stumble up to his doorstep, rapping your knuckles across the large front door and bounce on your toes as you wait for Shawn to answer it. The door swings open and in the blink of an eye, you collide with his sturdy chest in a strong embrace. You sigh into his chest as you breathe in the scent of his cologne that you missed dearly. His face is nuzzled into your hair for only a moment before he’s grabbing your face in his large hands and smashing his lips against yours.

The butterflies in your stomach flutter away as his soft lips work against yours. His soft hums dance into the air as his hands desperately grab you up, familiarizing himself with you once again. Your fingers slot into his wild curls and you give into the dizzying effect he has on you.

“God, I missed you,” he murmurs between kisses, “I can’t believe you’re here, lovey.”

Time seems to fall away as he kisses you and the air leaves your lungs as he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, carrying you to his room. You giggle against his lips; the kiss faltering as your mouth turns up into an undeniable smile.

Shawn lays you back against the bed, hovering over you as he continues to love on you. Your hands rub up and down his sides slowly, feeling the warmth from his body seep into your skin. You’re humming against each other’s lips as words seem to escape you. There were no words to describe how it felt to be in his arms again. Your heart thudded against your chest wildly, accompanying your steady breath. He filled up all your senses at once, reminding you just how much you missed him. His body eases on top of you slowly as you melt further and further into the searing kiss.

His lips become a bit gentler against yours as a wave of sleepiness begins to hit him. When he finally pulls away, his thumb runs back and forth across your cheek as he stares down at you with love brimming in his golden eyes. His lips turn up into a gentle smile as he whispers sweet nothings to you, “my pretty girl,”

Your cheeks turn red under his starry gaze and you giggle up at him. His heart thuds deep in his chest as his eyes scan your delicate features as if he’s almost forgotten them. Soft lips peck against yours slowly and repeatedly; tiny doses of love entering into your veins. Warmth envelops you as you melt into the mattress underneath him.

“Never gonna make me go that long without you again, hm?” he inquired softly against your lips. You hum in response, murmuring, “Miss me that bad?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe, my dear. Didn’t you miss me too?” he says, smirking down at you, pressing his hips into yours. His mouth meets the skin dressing your neck and he nips lightly.

“Mmm kind of,” you tease, snaking your hands under his soft t-shirt and tracing his skin with your fingertips. His head pops up and he glares down at you; eyebrows cocked in an offended expression.

“Excuse me little lady?” he rebuttals with a mischievous expression creeping onto his gorgeous face. Before you know it, his fingers are dancing across your sides, quickly. Yelps and giggles fill up the room and its music to his ears. He soaks up the sound of your happiness as if he’s been deprived his whole life. Sure, you talked on the phone and over facetime, but it pales in comparison to the real thing.

Your tiny hands grab at his wrists and you beg him to stop through your incessant giggles but Shawn shows no mercy.

“Say you missed me too,” he pushes as he watches you deviously.

You wiggle underneath him breathlessly, trying your hardest not to give in to him so easily. He’s wrapped around your finger and you both love a good game of cat and mouse. You’re a tease in every sense of the word and it lights his chest aflame. He’s always loved the chase, so he bites.

“Say it,” he says sternly, teasing you.

His fingers ghost across your skin and you let out one last yelp before you cave.

“Fine, fine!” you breathe, feeling his fingers finally start to ease up on you, “I missed you too.”

He hums, “Mmm, did you now?”

“Kind of.”

His face drops into a frown. His bottom lip pouts out, pinker than usual from your kisses. Shawn lets out a little hmmph and squints down at you before rolling over to the other side of his bed. You giggle as you watch him throw a fit with his back facing you.

You squirm a bit, shifting to lay behind him. Your body spoons his and you suddenly realize the stark size difference between you two. Your face only falls against his back as your hips line up and his legs stretch much further than yours. You press a few loving pecks between his shoulder blades and run your hand up and down his defined arm only for a second before he grunts and dramatically pulls away from you.

You grunt back, propping your head up and hovering over him. He shuts his eyes under your gaze and furrows his eyebrows.

“Don’t be a brat,” you laugh, “I was just teeeasing,”

“I get it,” he whines dramatically, “Didn’t miss me at all. Bet you didn’t even notice I was gone,”

He sighs dramatically, throwing a full-fledged fit. You shove his shoulder slightly, causing a crack in his facade as a small smile plays at his lips. He hides his face in his soft pillow when he sees you take notice.

You snake an arm around him, rubbing at his chest while you lower your face to his neck. Your lips connect with his skin, stamping kisses up and down the curve of his shoulder and neck. You make your way up towards his ear, where you press a few kisses before nipping lightly, “Now if I didn’t miss you, would I be loving on you like this?”

He hums and reluctantly leans back into you a bit; giving up his childish act. Your hand sneaks away from his chest and brushes his soft curls back, petting his hair lightly. His breathing slows as he melts into you. The only noise that can be heard is the bustling city surrounding his condo.

You lay like this for a moment, admiring the exhausted boy you got to call yours. That is until he suddenly shifts, flipping onto his back to sit up in his bed. You watch with curious eyes as he rolls out of his bed and walks over to his still packed suitcase. He rummages through it, haphazardly throwing clothes on the floor before settling on a tiny plastic object. He jumps back up to his feet and scurries over to the outlet next to his side of the bed.

You stifle a giggle as you realize what he’s doing. He plugs in his tiny night light and looks back at you with wide eyes.

“I know,” he starts, “I still sleep with a nightlight. It’s embarrassing.”

You continue to laugh, cooing a bit between your chuckles at the soft boy in front of you.

“No, no! It’s cute, bub,” you reassure. “Really, it is. And you have me to protect you from all the monsters, now.”

You wink at him and he groans.

“Shut up! It’s not funny,” he whines, crawling back into bed.

Your arms open as he not so gracefully clambers back into the bed and pulls the covers over you two. He plops down, slightly on top of you, and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. You kiss his forehead and feel him sigh into your skin. He feels the weight fall off his shoulders as he realizes he’s finally home. He’s finally with you.

You notice him open his mouth as if to say something before he quickly shuts it again.

“Hm?” you inquire.

He hesitates for a moment, turning over his question in his head. “W-will you spend the night?”

You quirk your eyebrows up in surprise. You had been together for a few months but haven’t quite spent the night together yet. There was no real reason. Just busy schedules that prevented any potential overnights together. He notices your hesitation and quickly stumbles over his words.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to!” he explains, hoping he hasn’t scared you off. “Just missed you a lot and I really, really don’t want you to go,”

His last sentence quietly trails off as he avoids your gaze. You notice his cheeks blush a deep shade of pink and you’re quick to grab his beautiful face in your hand. He looks at you with soft eyes, anticipating your denial.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

You feel the tension in his body leave in an instant as he sighs. A beaming smile adorns his face as he lays back down next to you. His strong arm wraps around you and squeezes your figure tightly. He turns you to lay on your side, facing him.

“Gonna give me kisses?” he whispers, rubbing your side needily. His eyes are glazed over with exhaustion, a year-long tour hitting him all at once. You easily comply, as he’s incredibly hard to resist when he’s so soft and sleepy, and your lips meet again.

After a few sweet moments of lazy love, you break away. His thumb is rubbing at your flushed cheek as you talk about his tour. He tells you about the last few cities, updating you on anything you’d missed from his busy schedule. You talk every day but sometimes his hectic life gets in the way of having real conversations.

“You must be so exhausted, bubba” you mumble into his cheek, falling there naturally as he nuzzled into your neck.

“I am,” he hums back, shifting impossibly closer to you as sleep tugs at him desperately, “Is it possible to sleep for two days?”

You chuckle softly, “Maybe we can find out.”

“Sounds good to me,” he murmurs, “Now gimme a goodnight kiss,”

You peck his sleepy lips and he immediately curls back up in the spot he was in previously. His arms hold onto you as if you planned on leaving him any time soon and his breath fanned softly over your neck. He’s beyond at ease in your arms, finally beginning to fall into the embrace of sleep. All he needed was you by his side to feel at home. You were his home and he felt it more in this moment than ever before.

You were sure he was asleep until his raspy voice broke through the air,

“Move in with me.”

#shawn mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes #shawn mendes fanfiction #Shawn Mendes blurb #Shawn Mendes oneshot #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x you

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pucking-insane · 4 years

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Speak Now - Ryder Donovan

Player: Ryder Donovan Word Count: 1866 Warnings: Swearing

Inspired by: “Speak Now” by Taylor Swift

I am not the kind of girl Who should rudely barging in on a white veil occasion But you Are not the kind the kind of boy Who should be marrying the wrong girl

The invitation was a surprise to say the least. Of course, you knew Ryder was dating, but you weren’t expecting the “save the date” to come. Immediately, you texted Shay, who, even though you and Ryder had broken up years ago, you remained close with.

It killed you to know that Ryder had moved on. You were happy that he was happy, but you were still in love with him.

Even though you didn’t really want to go to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding, Shay had convinced you to come as his plus one.

When you got to the wedding venue, you took a deep breath before even opening your car door.

Y/N Shay I can’t do this

Shay Donovan I know it hurts bub But you need closure I’ll see if I can sneak out to your car

Y/N Thank you

Eventually, there was a knock on your car window. You unlocked your car for Shay, who slid into your passenger seat.

“I can’t do this.” You said quietly.

“I know it’s hard and I know it hurts, but he’s happy.” Shay explained.

“It should be me.” You cried. “I should be getting ready to marry the love of my life. I should have my hair and makeup done and my dress and jewelry should be on. We should be taking pictures right now.”

“Believe me, Y/N,” Shay sighed. “It should be you.”

“You’re not making this any easier, Donovan.”

“Sorry, bubs.” Shay rubbed your back. “I’ll save a dance for you. That is if Cole or Turcs don’t get to you first.”

“They’re here?”

“Of course they are.” Shay smiled and glanced at his watch. “I should probably get going. But find one of them and you’ll be fine.”

I sneak in and see your friends And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel And she is yelling at a bridesmaid Somewhere back inside a room Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

Eventually, you willed yourself to leave your car and walk inside. You quickly spotted the familiar head of curly dark hair you had known since college.

“How’s LA treating you Turcs?” You asked as you fell into the natural conversation.

“Great. Thinking of buying a ring for Tori.” He smiled.

“Oh my gosh! That’s amazing!” You gave your friend a congratulatory hug.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked. “Not that I don’t want to see you, I just thought you wouldn’t want to go to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding.”

“Shay asked me to be his plus one, claimed I needed closure.”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

“Well. I had a mental breakdown in the car, so I’d say things are going swell.” You replied sassily.

You made small talk with Alex, Cole and some of their college teammates joining you. You laughed about the good old college days, when you and Ryder were dating, after all, you did follow him to Madison. You joked about the TikToks that were created in your dorms and the adventures around campus. The four years you spent at the University of Wisconsin were easily the best four years of your life and you were glad to spend it with your good friends, even though some of them left for their NHL teams before the four years were up.

But talking about your college years with the UW-Madison men’s hockey team brought some sadness. You remembered all of the wonderful memories with Ryder. How many times you fell asleep in his room that he shared with Shay, the number of games you attended at the Kohl Center with “R. Donovan” proudly displayed across your shoulders, the picnic lunches you would have on the quad.

Now, the love of your life was probably fixing up his hair, which you knew he was always particular about, one last time before entering the wedding venue. Those would be his last moments as a free man.

This is Surely not what you thought it would be I Lose myself in a daydream Where i stand and say

“Don’t say yes run away now I’ll meet you when you're out Of the church at the back door Don’t wait Or say a single vow You need to hear me out And they said ‘speak now’”

When you are all seated, you start to lose yourself in your thoughts.

What would it have been like at your wedding?

You would’ve gotten married in a church, for starters, and there would be far fewer flowers. Your bridesmaids would have been Ryder’s sisters, your college roommate, and a high school friend or two. The color scheme would have been coral and navy, two colors that complimented Ryder’s olive skin. Your first dance song would’ve been something by Dan + Shay. You would’ve had red velvet cake at your reception.

You would’ve been marrying Ryder.

Alex notices that you’re in your head and puts his hand on your leg, giving a quick squeeze to your thigh for reassurance.

In a perfect world, you would object when the preacher called for objections. You and Ryder would run away together, go to Vegas, and live happily ever after.

But it wasn’t a perfect world.

Fond Gestures are exchanged And the organ starts to play a song That sounds like a death march And I Am hiding in the curtains It seems that I was uninvited By a lovely bride-to-be

She Floats down the aisle Like a pageant queen But I Know You wish it was me You wish it was me, don't you?

The piano starts to play a nice andante movement as the ushers escort Bill and the bride’s mother down the aisle, and the preacher follows. Next, Ryder walks with his mom, giving her a kiss on the cheek before going to stand next to the preacher.

Cole, who is seated on your right side, gives you a sad smile, knowing how hard this was going to be for you.

Ryder stands in a black suit, one you had seen countless times on game day, only this time, he wasn’t wearing his usual beanie and a boutonniere was pinned to his chest.

You lock eyes with your former love as the wedding march starts to play. The doors open and Ryder’s bride and her father stand ready to walk down the aisle. She looked gorgeous. You looked back at Ryder, who had an empty stare.

He wished it was you walking towards him, and you knew it.

I hear the preacher say “Speak now or forever hold your peace” There’s a silence There’s my last chance I stand up with shaky hands All eyes on me

Horrified looks from everyone in the room But I'm only looking at you

“Dearly beloved,” The preacher starts. “We are gathered here to join Ryder Donovan and Alyssa Johnson in Holy Matrimony. If anyone has just cause as to why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Your heart races in your chest. Alex and Cole both look at you, making sure you don’t speak, Shay doing the same from next to Ryder.

You stay quiet. If Ryder was truly happy, then you were happy for him. Eventually, you would find someone to be your happily ever after.

You zone out for the rest of the ceremony. Until the vows.

Alyssa had already said her vows, saying “I do” through her tears.

“Do you, Ryder Donovan, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse,” Ryder glanced in your direction and then back to the preacher and then to Alyssa. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

Ryder took a deep breath before speaking.

I am not the kind of girl Who should be rudely barging in On a white veil occasion But you Are not the kind of boy Who should be marrying the wrong girl

“I don’t.”

Gasps come from everyone in the room. Ryder looks in your direction before turning to Alyssa.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I thought I loved you more than I really did. You deserve the world.”

Ryder pressed a kiss to Alyssa’s cheek before walking back down the aisle.

Shay runs after him, pulling you with him as he runs past you.

“I told you everything would be fine.” Shay smirked.

You and Shay found Ryder back in the groom’s dressing room. He sat with his head in his hands, sobs rocking his body.

“Hey.” Shay says as he approaches his younger brother.

“I just couldn’t do it, Shay,” Ryder cried. “I just couldn’t.”

“It’s okay.” Shay said as he rubbed Ryder’s back.

“I wish I hadn’t been so goddamn stupid when I left for Vegas. I should never have dumped Y/N. Never.”

“She’s here,” Shay said. “You know.”

Ryder looked up, his cheeks soaked with tears and eyes puffy.

“Can you give us a minute?” Ryder asked.

“Sure.” Shay said, patting you on the back as he left the room.

“Hey.” You said softly.

“I said ‘I don’t’ because of you.” Ryder said, staring into your eyes. “I saw you with Alex and Cole and then as Alyssa walked down the aisle, I wished it was you.”

“I kept imagining what our wedding would have looked like.” You explained. “How you would cry when you saw me and how we would have red velvet cake with lots of cream cheese frosting because it’s our favorite.”

“I’m so stupid for letting you go.” Ryder sighed, taking your hands in his.

“If you love something, set it free.” You smiled. “And if it’s meant to be, it’ll come back.”

Ryder looked into your eyes before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. The kiss was tender yet passionate.

And you’ll say “Let’s run away now I’ll meet you when I’m out Of my tux At the back door Baby I didn’t say my vows So glad you were around when they said ‘speak now.’”

Two years later, you were at another wedding involving Ryder Donovan. But this time, you were the bride and he was the groom.

Ryder cried as you walked down the aisle and you had tears in your eyes yourself.

“Do you, Ryder Donovan, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse,” Ryder smiled wide as the preacher spoke. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

“I do.” He smiled at you, squeezing your hands.

“By the power vested in me by the state of Minnesota, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The preacher smiled. “You may kiss the bride.”

Ryder pulled you in for a kiss and whispered in your ear.

“I’m so glad you were around when they said ‘speak now.’”

#ryder donovan #hockey #Hockey Players #Wisconsin Hockey #shay donovan #hockey imagine

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texanredrose · 5 years

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She’s A Pirate

Cannon fire exploded around them, a deep booming accompaniment to the high pitched tang and clang of crossed cutlasses and staccato notes of pistols firing. They’d played a dangerous game to get this far and the battle raging across the top decks of two ships acted as the culmination of a year spent sailing and fighting and falling love. To emerge victorious meant their wildest dreams coming true. No other option existed.

Blake’s feline ears flicked as she grit her teeth, her blade slicing through the air and the bone white plate of some monstrosity. She’d faced the royal navy, privateers, other pirates, and mercenaries but would gladly face the lot of them together rather than the otherworldly monsters that crewed the Grimm Reaper, twisted remnants of lost souls poisoned by the great goddess Salem’s touch. There seemed to be a neverending flood of them tearing free of the Reaper’s hull to storm onto the Longwang.

The Faunus twisted away from the gaping maw of another monster only to stumble and catch herself as her back fetched up against something too forgiving to be part of the ship itself. She turned, ready to strike again, and then froze. “Weiss?”

Blake felt a tightness in her chest, worry and love in equal measure making it hard to breathe for a moment. Before her stood the woman who’s stolen her heart, a noble daughter turned pirate queen, her dress soggy from rain and ripped by her own hands to allow freedom of movement, blood trickling down the unscarred side of her face and staining her left sleeve as she raised her arm. “Duck!”

Her feline ears perked as the order registered and she dropped down, the woman’s sword singing through the air and stabbing deep into the monster she’d narrowly avoided earlier. As Weiss dispatched that one, Blake saw another rear up being the woman, and she darted forward to protect her love. There they stood, back-to-back on the top deck, fending off the onslaught, and it struck the Faunus as deeply appropriate. That, in spite of the obstacles before them, the dire circumstances surrounding them, Salem’s fury descending upon them, and the armada awaiting them, Blake would choose to be nowhere else. Beside Weiss, no matter where that might be- land or sea or that world in-between life and death- would always be her place.

“Weiss!” She lifted her sword, blocking the blade of a Grimm creature, the weapon somehow fused to the bone plate of its forearm. “Weiss, I have something to tell you!”

“Is now the appropriate time?” Blue eyes flashed her way briefly as she pulled her own weapon from deep within the chest of yet another monster. “We’re both a bit busy for conversation!”

“If not now, then when?” Grabbing her scabbard in her offhand, she began lashing out with double the frequency, hoping to buy them a bit of breathing room. “I should’ve told you months ago anyway!”

“Well, then, get on with it!” Weiss growled, obviously frustrated as even more of the horrid creatures surged onto the Longwang’s top deck.

Setting her scabbard back in its place, she used her newly empty left hand to grab the woman’s right, the momentary reprieve they’d bought themselves allowing their eyes to meet.

“I’ve loved you for years,” she said, all her reading of romance novels through the years ultimately rendered useless. They didn’t have the luxury of a purple-prose laden speech to convey her intents, as the threats all around them wouldn’t give them time enough to savor the moment. It had to be quick, to the point, and it may very well be short lived… but she would regret it eternally, through whatever afterlife awaited her, if she failed to speak up now. “Through all this, every step of this adventure, I’ve fallen even further in love and I choose to give my heart to you.” The growling fury bearing down on them hastened her words. “What choice do you make?”

Blake could see how Weiss’ expression shifted as she registered the words and their meaning and a light came to her eyes. “Winter.” The Faunus’ brow furrowed in confusion as her ears fell but the woman didn’t seem to notice, turning towards the top of the wheelhouse. “Winter! Marry us!”

Standing beside the helm, the woman’s elder sister stood, a saber in one hand and a dagger in the other, fending off two of the Grimm monsters at once while shooting a glare down to the top deck. Frankly, though Winter still exuded the intimidating presence of a high ranking naval officer, Blake had come to understand the woman a little better in recent months and trusted Yang’s judgment most of all, relief suffusing her being as she finally registered Weiss’ words. Her sister, though, seemed mildly annoyed. “I’m a little busy at present, Weiss!”

“You are the captain of this ship-“

“Co-captain!”

“-and you have the authority, so do it! Marry us!”

At that moment, Yang appeared, dropping down from somewhere along the masts and using the rope in her hands to swing to Winter’s aid, delivering a brutal kick to one creature’s head while immediately launching herself in the opposite direction to throw a punch at another, somehow landing on her feet with a wide smile on her lips. Despite the fresh cuts along her arms and blood smeared across her knuckles, the woman seemed in high spirits but had always enjoyed the thrill of the fight.

“A wedding in the middle of a fight for the fate of the seas?” A full bellied laugh as she ducked a wipe swipe from yet another monster. “I’d expect nothing less from you two! If you don’t, Snowdrift, I will!”

“Oh, fine.” While using her sword to lop off the arm of an attacking monster, Winter jumped up onto the railing just in front of the wheel, somehow raising her voice to carry over the din of the raging battle. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, locked in deadly combat, to bear witness to the union of two thrice-damned souls in holy matrimony.”

Unfortunately, what small reprieve they’d bought themselves ended at that moment, and Blake and Weiss had to jump apart to dodge another Grimm attempting to destroy them, but they turned in tandem and struck it down before turning their attention to the new wave of Grimm surging across the top deck, Winter’s voice briefly straining as she continued her speech while fending off even more attacks.

“Brought together by the raging seas of fate- you blasted barnacled bastard, can’t you see I’m busy- these two have demonstrated a will to persevere, to remain loyal to one another- Sundrop, a little help- and to support one another in this world and the next and I swear I will destroy you, now- stop- this- nonsense!”

Blake briefly looked up towards the wheelhouse, watching as Winter somersaulted over one creature and plunged her saber into its back while catching another’s claws with her dagger long enough for Yang to tackle it away, using her fists to render it unconscious or possibly dead. Meanwhile, Blake’s own blade bit into the hides of even more creatures while Weiss assisted, one delivering the first blow or blocked an attack while the other finished the cretin off, their off hands finding the other’s again and interlocking. They danced along the top deck, the rhythm of their hearts their only guide, unable to stop the smiles beginning to curl their lips despite the life threatening battle they found themselves embroiled in, because they were there, together, as they were always meant to be.

“Blake, do you take Weiss- I swear by the eleven seas- to have and to hold-“ the clanging of swords briefly rose, swelling to a crescendo punctuated by a cannonball blowing through the side of the wheelhouse “- from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, with a few of those options being considerably less likely- ah!“ The Faunus couldn’t help but wince as a claw scored along Winter’s side, incensing the woman even further. “Oh damn it all to hell and back!” Her frustration reached a boiling point as even more of the Grimm swarmed up the wheelhouse stairs to reach her, blue eyes flashing with malicious intent. “Finish the damn vows yourself!”

To her surprise, Weiss didn’t miss a beat, pulling her close by the hand as they used their blades to block two incoming attacks. “In sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do us part.”

“And even after, yes, I do,” she replied, both of them silently counting in their heads before pushing back against their enemies, making quick work of one before dealing with the other. “And do you, Weiss, take me, to have and to hold, from this day forward-“

“Of course I do, really, as if you have to ask.” Again their swords flashed as they moved together, pushing beyond the physical limitations of one person to strike down monster after monster- a testament and demonstration that no problem, no obstacle, no force in this world or the next, could rip them asunder. “I crossed an ocean and more to find you, Blake. Now, more than ever, I do.”

The Faunus couldn’t help the way her shoulders relaxed and the goofy little smile that curled her lips. “Aw.”

The moment, perhaps, wasn’t best suited to the sentimentality, as Weiss had to dart around her to block yet another cutlass, and it seemed for every one they’d cut down, four more Grimm had sprung up in their places. “Focus, Blake.”

“By- the- power- I will rend your soul from your mangled body you pox covered cur- power vested- would you-“

As Winter struggled with defending herself twice over and continuing the speech, Yang effortlessly jumped in to join her- in more ways than one. As the woman’s fists connected and cracked bone plate after bone plate, her voice carried above the symphony of battle, a bright brass tone that cut through everything with ease.

“By the power vested in us as Captains of this ship, we now pronounce you wife and wife!” Now with help, Winter managed to switch from a mostly defensive fighting style to one that took advantage of the other woman’s presence, and together they beat back the boarding party and sent them tumbling into the tumultuous seas below. “Now kiss your bride!”

Even though they probably shouldn’t, Blake and Weiss temporarily disregarding the fight raging around them, pulling towards the other, their blades lightly crossing as their lips met. In that moment, they’d won- for all that still remained, for the strife and uncertainty they faced, it didn’t matter; they’d finally bared their hearts to one another- and the Faunus could hardly believe it. Her wildest dream come true.

“Blake! Weiss!” They jolted apart, surprised to find Ruby’s scythe deeply embedded in the chest of one monstrosity that looked like it might’ve been poised to deliver a killing blow to both of them. The young woman herself merely looked lightly annoyed, silver eyes pleading. “Priorities!”

“I make no apologies,” Weiss said, though she did lift her rapier and stab it through yet another of the Grimm that tried to take advantage of their distraction. “A pirate is always allowed to kiss her wife, Ruby, it’s in the Code.”

“They’re more like guidelines and totally not applicable when we’re fighting undead monsters conjured by a sea goddess! Please, focus!”

“More importantly.” Although still somewhat preoccupied by the enemies trying to dislodge her from the helm, Winter appeared invested enough in the conversation to offer her own viewpoint. “You can’t rightly start the honeymoon with all these uninvited guests.”

“She has a point.” Blake reluctantly admitted, her own sword flashing through the air and cutting through yet another enemy. “Let’s finish this.”

Then they surged forth, the two newly-wed brides fighting with renewed conviction, tearing through the boarding party and, eventually, finding their way onto the Grimm Reaper’s top deck themselves, eager to put the battle to an end. Beyond that, they couldn’t begin to fathom what fate awaited them but they knew the part that mattered most.

They’d face it together. --- Bonus Scene – while the battle still rages Yang: “I can’t believe those two beat us to getting married! You know what this means?” Winter: “And what’s that?” Yang: “We’ll have to beat them to having a kid!” Winter: *a beat* “Well, I suppose we’ve already accomplished that.” Yang: “Yeah, we- wait, what?” Winter: *knowing look* Yang: *blinks, then throws her fists in the air* “Whoo! I’m gonna be a momma!” Winter: “One step at a time, Sundrop, let’s focus on ‘not dying’ first and then we can address-“ *another Grimm swipes at Winter and just barely nicks her shoulder* Yang: [BEAST MODE: ENGAGE] Winter: *watches as Yang flies into a rage and begins laying waste* “… well, I suppose that’s one way to do it.” --- Y’all: “Hey, Tex, think you can write some Monochrome without featuring Elderburn?” Me:

Also, if anyone’s curious, the title is a play on Hans Zimmer’s “He’s A Pirate”, otherwise known as the Pirates of the Caribbean Theme Song, which is why there’s so many fucking musical descriptors and references throughout. A big shoutout to @maburito who, as usual, served as inspiration for the shenanigans.

#Monochrome #Day 1 prompt: Checkmateys #Checkmateys #monochromeweek2020 #monosweek2020

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jyiori · 5 years

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Hushed Tones

Arcana Fan Fiction | Asra x Apprentice Illain x Apprentice Ayda Hey it’s self-indulgent o’clock again~ Stealing Lazy’s Illain again for a bit. Let’s see what we have here... a heavy dose of insecurity, a sprinkling of tears, and an entire pot of sweet domestic fluff. I got inspired by my own drawing to write it out AHAHA~ To provide some context: Lucky is the child of Asra x Illain Khayalan is the child of Asra x Ayda Faust, Nyala and Aster are names of their familiars Keeping things under the cut. I’ll post the drawing later (´つヮ⊂)

The signs were so subtle at first, it was hard to notice. As time went on, they noted there was a certain look Ayda had about her, especially when watching the children play. It was almost…wistful? There were times when she started mid-conversation as if she had something to say, but cutting herself off with an apologetic smile. Illain and Asra shared concerned looks privately, but as always, it was hard to get anything out of her that she was not ready to talk about. The children were blissfully unaware though, not really noticing that mama sometimes hugged them a few moments longer than necessary, or spent more time fussing over them than usual. The air was usually cool that night, a small draft breezing in through the children’s bedroom window. Thoughtfully, the young woman shut half of the window, not wanting the sleeping children to catch a cold. Ayda lingered about in their room, busying herself putting away their toys and gathering discarded clothes from the floor. Sitting on the bed at last, she hovers over the sleeping figures. Gently, the mother smoothed back Khayalan’s stubborn curls, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his little ear. She narrowly dodges a kick to the face from Lucky’s wriggling figure, a soft chuckle escapes her as he almost managed to swat at his brother’s elbow in the same move. Still, she sets down the blankets and tucks them in lovingly, although she knows fully well that the unfortunate blankets would probably be kicked off long before morning comes. Lost in her own thoughts, Ayda stares unmovingly into space. There was a patter of footsteps, and a slightly worried figure appeared at the doorway, eyebrows creased in concern. It has been a little over an hour since Ayda went to tuck the children into bed. Illain finds her still seated on the children’s bed, shoulders slightly hunched over. The faraway look on her face brings a pang to his heart. He takes light steps towards her, warm hands resting on her shoulders. She starts slightly from her reverie, looking up to meet his smile. Smiling in return, she leans back against him and relaxes into his touch. Her beloved drops a chaste kiss on her forehead. “A penny for your thoughts?” he murmurs, in a hushed voice. Smoothly, Illain starts massaging her shoulders as she tenses up at the question. She bites her lip, frowning slightly – yet relents at last. It didn’t really do her good to wallow for so long, she already learnt as much. Taking a deep breath, she plunged right into the heart of matter that plagued her. “What do you think about having children, Illain?” There was a slight pause as he considers the question, kneading carefully to work out the knots in her shoulders. “Khayal and Lucky might be a real handful at times, but thinking about the joys they bring us… I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His honest response brings a wry smile to Ayda’s face, one that he couldn’t see as her back was towards him. “I mean yours thoughts on having another child, dear,” she says softly, almost too softly for him to hear. There was a pregnant pause, almost as if the air itself was stilled – only the rhythmic sounds of the children’s breathing could be heard. As the hands that were rubbing her shoulders stilled in shock, worry washed over her like a bucket of cold water. Her breath hitches at the painful silence, jumbled thoughts running hundred miles an hour. “…it’s fine. Just an errant thought, it’s nothing –” murmuring apologetically, she moves abruptly from the bed, trying to slip past the still-shocked Illain. Barely making it past the doorway, it only takes him a few seconds to come to and catch her in a tight embrace. “Ayda. Please… Ayda. Please calm down,” he repeats softly, hugging the trembling figure dearly to his chest, pressing soft kisses into her hair until her jerky breathing eventually calmed and returned to normal. “Of course – of course another child would be welcome to our family,” Illain murmurs, turning her around to face him, wiping away the stray tears from the corner of her eyes. “Have you talked to Asra about this?” To his surprise, a faint blush tinged her damp cheeks. She slowly rested a hand over her heart, and placed the other over his, looking at him earnestly. “I wanted to ask you.” The freckled darling blinked, still uncomprehending. “Ours. Our baby,” she tries saying it slower, dragging the words to emphasize them. Ah. She will carve this sight into her fondest memories. The way Illain’s face lighted up when he finally understood, or how his face flushed scarlet after he processed it. He didn’t put his reply into words. The shared kiss was so sweet even if it tasted salty with tears, and he hugged her so hard that she could hardly breathe. Ayda slips her hand into his as they wordlessly made their way back to their waiting husband, their entwined fingers giving her reassurance. The fluffy-haired magician was sprawled out lazily on the bed in a nest of blankets, perking up at hearing them entering the room. He sits up after seeing their serious faces, while Faust and Nyala lazily slide off him and burrow themselves deeper underneath the blankets. He opens his arms invitingly, and his lovers melt into his warm embrace. Ayda snuggles into the crook of Asra’s shoulder, Illain settles himself comfortably in Asra’s lap while Aster scuttles onto his palm. Much of her worry set at ease, Ayda’s eyelids begin to droop. Amused, Asra lands a kiss on her cheek, gently prompting her. “I’m listening.” They talked on for hours and hours into the night, long after the candles exhausted themselves. Whatever the outcome would be – she was alright with it. She felt beloved, and at peace with herself.

#apprentice illain #apprentice ayda #fan apprentice #asra x apprentice #arcana fanfic #my writing

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buns-with-a-book · 4 years

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Beginner's Luck

Teeechnically a Bayonetta/DMC crossover, only because it’s based on concept art from Bayonetta of Enzo and Dante gambling...and Dante losing because of his bad luck. And a little bit of his Diesel costume from DMC2 (which actually isn’t that bad?)

Fandoms: Bayonetta, DMC Characters: OC (DMC), Rodin (Bayonetta), Enzo (Bayonetta) Tags: @furyeclipse @synchronmurmurs @harlot-of-oblivion @queenmuzz

Summary: Cassandra takes up poker against an old friend of Dante’s to retake the hunter’s beloved guns: Ebony and Ivory. Of course, grabbing that signature red coat was a plus.

Cassandra hummed as she walked down the grimy streets, bobbing her head to a song only in her head. Despite her chipper attitude, she had a place to be: a bar that Dante visited and came out with nothing. Literally, given his change of clothes from the iconic red to muted green. It didn’t look good, hence why she was walking down the street, finding the very bar he had been in the night before: The Gates of Hell.

Cassandra really had only one concern: Did he have to head to the nastiest place in the city? The Dump was a perfectly appropriate name for this shithole corner of the city. Not even Morrison, as far as she knew, came to this stretch of the city.

But here she was, walking through the darkness like a lonely star in an abyss-black sky. She stood out of place, that she knew well enough, but ignored it to focus on where she was going. She could fend for herself, she wasn’t exactly unarmed despite all appearances.

She pulled out a flyer, a garish purple scrap of paper, and glanced at the building to her left. Just like it said, the Gates of Hell was here. She shoved the paper back into her bag, the bag being full of hard-earned cash to gamble with. If Dante had gambled away his prized guns, then she’d have to gamble it back (and have enough to pay for their tab, depending on how much of a drinker this mysterious man was).

Did it make her a target? Yes. Yes it did.

Was it worth it to make Dante happy? Yes. Yes it was.

With a soft sigh, she opened the door. Much to her surprise, it was empty. The only music in the bar was from the gramophone, the worn record playing a jazz piece that sounded like it'd come from a film noir. Her green eyes glanced around the empty establishment before she walked over to the bar, eyes focused on the black bartender.

“Hm.” The bartender hummed. She could feel his eyes focused on her, analyzing her every movement. It was almost supernatural...but she ignored that gut feeling for now. “Haven’t seen you ‘round here before, lightspark.” She squinted at the name, something that only Dante called her.

“I’m looking for a man. He was here last night gambling with my...employer, Dante.” She said. “Perhaps you know him?” The bartender was silent for a moment, mulling over her inquiry as he lazily cleaned a glass.

“What’s it to you?” He asked.

“...because that idiot gambled something precious to him and I’m here to gamble it back.”

“Sounds risky.” The bartender hummed. Cassandra shrugged.

“Perhaps. But I guess I’m feeling lucky tonight.” She said, tilting her head just a little. The bartender smirked.

“Better keep an eye on your back. Luck doesn’t like being pushed.” Cassandra glanced back behind her before back to the bartender.

“Duly noted-”

“Rodin!” The doors flung open, causing her to wince at the sound. “Fuck me sideways, I’m beat!” She glanced back, watching as a portly Italian waddle to the bar. “Hit me up with a martini!” She looked to the now-named bartender, who subtly nodded to her, before returning his gaze to the portly Italian.

“No can do Enzo. Not until you pay your tab.” Rodin said as he turned around. The Italian, now named Enzo, let out a whine.

“Aw come oooonn! You haven’t yelled at me for it before!” Cassandra slid a hand into her bag and pulled out a crisp $20 bill. Rodin paused as the bill hit the polished counter.

“You payin’ for him?”

“Yep.” Rodin shrugged before finishing the drink, setting it in front of Enzo. Enzo’s eyes widened.

“For me?”

“I mean, I just said I’d pay for you.” Cassandra said with a shrug as Rodin took the bill. “A second martini for me, please. Strawberry flavor.” Enzo laughed as he took a swing of the martini.

“Well, you have my attention. What cha want?”

“Well, you have something I want. Ebony and Ivory.” Enzo’s eyes went wide.

“Ooooh, you want those lovely ladies.” He laughed, walking to an empty table. Cassandra watched the martini rest on the counter before taking it. She took a sip, watching Enzo as Rodin counted out change. “Look, I ain’t gonna give those guns to anyone-”

“Not even back to Dante, where they belong?” She asked.

“You know Dante?” Enzo asked, flopping down in the chair. “How is he?”

“Miserable without his ladies.” She said, taking the change Rodin laid down. She quickly thanked him before walking over to Enzo. “But I get the feeling you won’t let them up without a fight. Or a good ole fashioned game of poker.” She sat down across from him, who had burst out laughing.

“Lemme guess, Dante taught ya! That man has HORRIBLE luck!” He howled. Cassandra rolled her eyes.

“You don’t need luck to explain the rules.” Cassandra pointed out patiently. Enzo set his martini on the table and pulled out a deck of cards.

“Tell ya what, let’s play a quick game and if you win, I’ll give ya the coat.” Enzo set the cards down and took a sip of the martini. “I’ll even go easy on ya for the martini!” He threw out some cards, to which she took with a smirk.

‘You think I’m a push-over?’ She thought as the game began. ‘You’ll find that I’m no pushover.’

“So.” Enzo began. “How long have you known Dante?”

“Oh, about eleven years. He’s like a brother to me.” She replied, occasionally glancing up to him. She noticed she could see his cards in his sunglasses but kept her mouth shut. If he was helping her win, then she would take that as long as she could have that boon.

“Eleven years? Cute. So you ain’t doing this because you wanna fuck him, right?”

“Hardly. I like him but, as I’ve said, he’s a brother to me. And he’s been looking like shit without his coat and his ladies.” She said. “It’s a good thing he’s not going off to do some big job because if he went out without those things, I don’t think anyone would recognize him as Dante. That coat is his brand.”

“It’s also expensive to repair.” Enzo rolled his eyes. “But I’m not dealing with that anymore. That’s someone else’s job.”

“Mine, actually.”

“Ha! I don’t blame you for trying to get the coat back! Replacing that’s expensive!” Enzo said, throwing down his cards. “Alright, let’s see what you got!” Cassandra did the same, looking at his cards. Enzo quietly swore: she had gotten three of a kind. Enzo had gotten two pair. She had won.

“Huh. Guess I won this round.” She said as Enzo took back the cards.

“Ok, that was just a freebie because I wanted to see how good you were.” He clarified, retaking the cards. “I’m gonna be harder on you for the guns. And that means real money!” He opened up his coat and pulled out a wad of cash. “For Ivory, $250 dollars!”

“I can match that.” Cassandra said, mirroring his actions. Enzo grinned wide as he began to deal the cards.

“I like a gal who ain’t afraid to gamble.”

“These are Dante’s ladies, of course I’m gambling for them to come back home.” She pointed out, taking the cards dealt to her. Enzo took a sip of his martini.

“Ah, reminds me of my brats.” Cassandra raised an eyebrow and looked to his fingers, seeing a golden wedding ring on his finger.

“You’re a family man?”

“Yeah, two little monsters of my own. They’re cute as fuck though.” He chuckled fondly at the thought. Cassandra felt a twinge of sadness at that. Despite his profession, it still seemed as if he loved them dearly. It was something she wished her own father had done with her in her adult years.

“Cards?” Enzo’s inquisitive voice roused her from her thoughts. Cassandra laid down her cards, a Flush. Enzo swore under his breath as he laid down the Straight he had accrued. “Beginner’s luck…”

“Well, how about we raise the stakes a little? $500 for Ebony.”

“$700!” Enzo snapped. Cassandra let out a humorous huff.

“A bit of a sore loser, aren’t we?” She teased as she pulled out $1000 and set it on the table. “Let’s make it $1000.”

“Do play nice with the lady.” Rodin rumbled from behind the bar. Enzo grinned and leaned forward, taking back the cards and reshuffling them.

“You got yourself a game...aw shit, I just realized I didn’t get your name. What kinda player am I?”

“It’s Cassandra.” She pulled back a strand of hair.

“Cassandra...ok, nice to get a name to a face. Dante was talking up a storm about you.” Enzo chuckled. Cassandra raised an eyebrow.

“Has he now?”

“Oh yeah!” Enzo nodded. “Went on and on about this chick that’s been rooming with him. It ain’t the bazooka gal so it’s gotta be you.”

“If he calls me lightspark, then I’m the one.” She hummed, playing a card. Enzo laughed.

“It’s nice to meet ya. I know Dante’s got a new broker now and that means getting you is off the table.” He shrugged. “Oh well. It’s nice to play cards with him-”

“Because you can win.” Cassandra interrupted dryly. Enzo snorted.

“Fuck yeah I can win.” He smirked at that before throwing down his cards. “Four of a kind, haha!” Enzo laughed. Cassandra glanced to the cards, to her hand, and then back to the cards before chuckling, laying them to rest.

“Straight flush. I believe I win.”

“WHAAAAAAAAAT!?” He howled, staring at the cards. “Oh come fucking oonnn!” He whined. Cassandra finished off her martini and set it on the table.

“I won fair and square, Enzo.” She gently pointed out. Enzo groaned before getting up with a grumble.

“Ok ok ok, I’ll go get them.” He waddled out of the bar. Cassandra took her rightfully won cash, frowning.

“I thought I’d gamble away more money.” She said quietly. Rodin merely laughed from behind the bar.

“I never heard someone wishing they were unlucky.”

“It’s not that.” She corrected him. “I didn’t think I’d actually win back the guns.”

“I believe it’s called beginner’s luck.” He said with a shrug as Enzo reentered the bar. In his hands were Dante’s red coat and the handguns of note: Ebony and Ivory. They looked pristine, not a scratch on them since she last saw them. Cassandra swung the red coat over her shoulders.

“Ah, I hate beginner’s luck…” Enzo grumbled as Cassandra made sure the two were empty before placing them in her bag.

“At the very least, I’ll pay for the tab tonight. And only tonight, before you get any ideas.” Cassandra said, walking to the bar. She pulled out five $20 bills and set them on the counter. “Au revoir.”

“Jeez, you better tell Dante he’s lucky to have someone as nice as you!” Enzo yelled as she stepped out of the bar, walking her way down the streets away from the bar and back to Devil May Cry.

One long walk later, Cassandra pushed open the door. While she was heading back home, she picked up a pizza along the way, just for Dante.

“Dante!” She called. “I’m home!”

“I’m awake.” He grumbled. “No need to yell-” He perked up at the box in her hands. “For me?”

“Yeah, you dummy. But don’t get your hands all greasy yet. I got more than pizza for you.” She lowered the pizza on the desk and opened up her bag, producing the handguns and setting them on the table. Dante stared at them, eyes wide before she whipped off his coat and threw it back at him.

“You got them back?”

“Fuck yeah I did. These two.” She pointed to Ebony and Ivory. “Are your ladies. And your ladies should stay in your hands, not in some alcoholic Italian in a grimy fucking bar in The Dump.”

“...thanks.” Dante took the handguns and put them away. “Did you lose anything?”

“Only a hundred and twenty dollars for drinks.” She shrugged. “Mostly to make sure said Italian’s tab was covered for the night.”

“You’re spoiling him.” Dante shrugged, opening the box and taking a slice. “He’ll want to be your broker next.”

“Pfft, nah. I’m taken by Morrison and he knows it.” She sat down on the edge of the desk, setting the bag on the ground. She reached over and took a slice. “You know, you should keep the scarf. It’s not that bad.” She said casually. Dante just shrugged.

“Thanks for...everything, by the way.”

“You’re welcome, Dante.”

#devil may cry #devil may cry oc #bayonetta #bayonetta rodin #bayonetta enzo

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chaptersinprogress · 4 years

Text

if I bleed (you’ll be the last to know)

Khai had been acting weird. Well, weirder than usual at least. They all had noticed it. And it had started not long after Third had learnt what Bone and Khai were up to.

Rating: T

Warnings: mild swearing

Pairings: Khai/Third

It took him far longer than it should have to realise that something was wrong.

"Third..." Khai whined, draping himself over the smaller boy. "Won't you come to watch a movie with me?"

Third ignored him. He continued working on the script; there were a couple of minute changes that he thought he could discuss with Un. Crossing out a few lines, he bit the end of his pencil. Would it be better to replace them or simply delete them entirely?

Khai dropped his chin onto Third's shoulder. "Third...Third, Third, Third" came the insistent call, each word punctuated by him thumping his chin.

Said boy let out a frustrated groan and threw his pencil down. "What?"

"Come watch a movie with me, hmm?"

Third twisted his body away forcefully. Khai let out a tiny yelp as he fell forward, barely catching himself in time from bashing his face into the wooden counter-top.

"I'm busy, Khai! Go be clingy somewhere else," Third snapped, turning back to the drafts.

Scribbling an idea down, he steeled himself to not react to the dawdling that would follow. He tapped his fingers impatiently. After a minute or two of anticipation, he looked up to see precisely what the boy he was trying to get over was up to. Except, Khai wasn't there at all. Third scanned the coffee shop in confusion.

"He left a few minutes ago," called out Bone, as he attended to the various orders he received. "Two followed him out."

"Huh," exhaled Third.

A small ache gnawed at his chest. He scoffed. Surely he wasn’t missing being annoyed by Khai. And he certainly wasn't feeling guilty. No, he was not. He shook his head roughly and turned back to his work.

There were moments when Khai seemed almost normal. But other times...

Third stopped abruptly. Two and Bone almost crashed into him.

"What's going on?" asked Bone, looking around in confusion. "Why did we stop?"

Two followed Third's gaze. "Ah," he said quietly. He shoved his elbow into Bone's side and thrust his head in the direction of what had caught Third's eye.

Bone squinted against the glare of the sun. At the bottom of the steps a few feet away, Khai was facing a girl.

"Shit," Bone whispered. He side-eyed Two, "What do we do?"

Two looked back at him with a matching expression of dread, "We can't do anything now. Third won't move even if we tried to distract him."

They turned back to the scene at hand, bracing for the fallout that was sure to follow.

Third felt numb. This situation was all too familiar. And it hit way too close after what happened with Ching Ching. But he found himself unable to look away. He had to know. If he was worth more than a fling to Khai or was merely a flight of fancy. He had been rebuffing all of Khai's advances; it wouldn't surprise him if Khai had moved on to people who were easier to deal with. He never stayed long with people who didn't give him what he wanted.

"Please don't fuck up, please don't fuck up," chanted Two under his breath, wringing his hands anxiously.

They watched as Khai replied to the girl. She tucked her hair behind her ear and took a step closer. Khai hastily took a few steps back and repeated something.

Bone frowned. "Two, Khai's acting a bit strange, isn't he?" he asked quietly. "I've never seen him react to a girl this way before."

Khai seemed tense. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, eyes darting to the girl, their surroundings and back again. When the girl attempted to speak again, Khai shook his head vehemently.

"Yeah," replied Two, in disbelief. "He almost seems to be frightened of her." He tugged Third, who looked like he had been hit in the chest, to face him and Bone. "We should leave - "

"No!"

The trio spun back to the scene below in shock.

"I'm not interested! Leave me the fuck alone!" yelled Khai before spinning and stomping off, shoulders shaking.

The girl he had been talking to burst into sobs. The rest of the Gangsters stared at each other with wide eyes. Khai had never brutally rejected a girl before. Hell, even Third - who was literally known for his harsh rejections - had never reacted so explosively.

Of all of them, it was Bone who recovered first. "I'll go check on Khai," he said. "Two, you take care of Third. I'll see you both tomorrow."

The little things became more evident after they had cemented their relationship.

The cleaning.

Third walked into Khai's apartment and stumbled to a halt. He eyed his boyfriend warily. Had he hit his head recently?

"What are you doing?" he asked slowly.

Khai cracked his back and leant his weight on the mop. He grinned at Third dopily. "I'm cleaning!"

Third nodded slowly. "I can see that. But why?"

Khai tilted his head, "Because the room's dirty?"

"Yeah, but you never mop."

The smile dropped off Khai's face. "Do...do you not want me to?" he asked quietly.

Third stared at him in confusion. What on earth did he mean by that? "Of course you can. You certainly shouldn't leave it for the cleaner who comes only every 2-3 months. Or for when I help out."

Khai visibly relaxed. "Oh. Well yeah, that's why I'm doing it now."

The cooking.

"So," asked Khai excitedly. "How is it?"

Third poked the mish-mash of roughly chopped vegetables which made up the stir-fry with his chopsticks. Hesitantly, he took a bite. Eyes widening, he looked at his boyfriend in shock.

"It's delicious," he said. "I didn't know you could cook."

Khai averted his eyes. "Ah, well, I don't actually. Only learnt how to make this one thing. I just…you always make dinner for us. So I thought I should help out a bit and make you something too."

A small frown crossed Third's face. Taking Khai's hand, he pulled on it gently till they were once again looking at each other.

"You don't have to. I like making dinner for you," he said. A fond smile grew on his face, "But I definitely don't mind you making things for me too. It really is quite tasty."

Khai beamed at him.

The tiptoeing.

"Third, are you ok with this movie? We can choose something that you like."

"Ah, this queue is very long. Do you want to go somewhere else? I'm sure this must be boring you."

"Is this ok?"

"We can do something else, no worries."

"Are you ok with...?"

"Is this...?"

"Do you...?"

"Third...?"

"Third...?”

Khai was slowly turning into someone he could no longer recognise.

At this point, Third wanted to scream. Khai refused to make any decision without his explicit permission and even then, would ask him over and over again if he was ok with it. He wasn't Khai's jailer, dammit! He didn't need Khai to tell him who, what, when, where and why for everything. And he wasn't going to be inconvenienced by every little thing Khai wanted either. They were in a relationship for goodness sake, he knew how to compromise. Khai didn't have to bend over backwards for him. He didn't want him to.

He missed his Khai.

Two and Bone glanced at each other. They too, had noticed the changes.

"Maybe you should ask him directly," suggested Two.

Bone nodded. "It's strange; seeing him like this. Hopefully, you two will be able to sort it out. If you need anything, we'll be there."

Unsurprisingly, the intervention blew up in their faces in a spectacular fashion.

Third waited for Khai to come home, sitting idly on the couch with Love Actually playing in the background. He smiled, recalling his failed confession as well as Khai's declaration of his feelings. Huh, turns out he really did help Khai confess to the person he was interested in. And Third was so, so grateful that that person was him.

The sound of the door unlocking jolted him out of his thoughts. He watched fondly as Khai kicked his shoes off at the side messily before dumping his bag near the dining room table. Khai met his eyes and grinned, hurriedly making his way over and draping himself over Third's shoulders. The latter huffed lightly and pressed his nose into Khai's hair. The two of them stayed like that for a while, basking in each other's presence. But they really did need to address the issue of Khai's strange behaviour.

Shaking his head, Third pulled away slowly before meeting Khai's gaze, "We need to talk."

Khai froze. The blood visibly drained from his face. "What?" he choked out hoarsely.

Third frowned and tapped Khai's arm worriedly, "You ok?"

He pulled the stunned boy onto the couch and gripped his clammy hands tightly. Was it low blood sugar? Perhaps he should bring over a drink and snacks or something?

"Khai, I-"

"No!" the word tore itself out of Khai's throat.

He grabbed desperately for Third's shirt, fisting the fabric. Third stared at his boyfriend in shock.

"What's gotten -"

"Please!" Khai begged, eyes reddening. "I'll do anything! I swear! There's no one else but you! I'll stop bothering you while working, I'll clean and cook and...and...I'll-" he looked around frantically. "I'll keep my shoes neatly, and I won't throw my bag around and I'll -"

"Khai!" Third interjected. "Khai, listen to me!"

"I swear I won't be a burden! I'll keep all my promises, and I'll do whatever you want me to and -" Khai continued babbling, tears starting to track down his face. He let go of Third's shirt and threw himself on his knees at Third's feet. "I'll do anything," he promised, the words coming out in harsh sobs. "I swear, I'll do anything. Just please, please don't leave me, please -"

"KHAI!"

Said boy fell silent as if struck. Third sank to the floor beside the boy he loved so dearly. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

"Khai," he whispered, lifting a trembling hand to press against his boyfriend's cheek. "Khai, I love you so damn much."

Glassy eyes stared right through him, the words going unheard. Tears still made their way down his beloved's face, dripping down his chin. He barely seemed to be breathing. Third felt his own eyes well up. He cradled Khai's face in his hands and ran his thumbs across Khai's cheekbones, gently brushing away the liquid even as more spilt over.

"Sweetheart, I love you. I'm not going to leave. I'm never leaving you."

At the lack of response, Third dropped a hand from Khai's face, grasping a limp hand instead. He squeezed, exerting pressure but careful not to hurt. He had done too much of that already. Letting his own tears flow, he pressed his lips to the side of Khai's head. "I love you." He kissed the tip of Khai's nose. "I adore you." His cheekbone. "You're my everything." His chin. "I'm not leaving." His forehead. "Never leaving," Third promised.

Leaning back, Third scrubbed his own face harshly with his sweater sleeve. Khai remained worryingly still. "Come on," Third murmured thickly. "Let's get you comfortable on the couch." He manoeuvred both of them onto the sofa with some difficulty. Propping Khai up halfway using the cushions, he clambered onto his boyfriend's lap and tugged the throw blanket over them. He tenderly wiped away the traces of tears from Khai's face, grateful that at the very least, no more were taking their place.

Winding his arms around Khai's middle, he pretended that it was enough to hold the shattered pieces of the love of his life together. He would give anything for it to be enough. To mend all the cracks that had formed without his notice. Third let his full body weight rest on Khai, hoping that it would ground him and prove that Third had no intention of going anywhere that wasn't beside Khai. He tucked his head into the crook of Khai's neck and continued pressing little kisses onto his jaw, breathing apologies, promises and declarations of love.

The sun had set by the time Khai took in a shuddering breath, his sole movement since the explosion earlier. Third remained quiet, merely stroking the back of Khai's hand with his thumb, fingers intertwined. After another quarter-hour had passed with no further change, Third risked pulling away to study him.

Khai's eyes flickered to meet Third's. Third's heart broke further at the confusion and disbelief he saw in them. As if Khai couldn't believe that Third was still there with him. Keeping a firm grip on their intertwined fingers, Third swung himself off the couch and tugged at Khai to stand up before pulling them to the dining table.

"I'm just going to heat up dinner, ok?" he said softly, watching carefully for any adverse reaction to the statement. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here the whole time."

Taking the lack of reaction to be agreement (because what other choice was there at this point?) he made sure Khai was seated comfortably at the table with a good view of the entirety of the kitchen before untangling their fingers to head to the fridge. Pulling out the congee he had bought earlier that day and a bowl to heat the food in, he could feel the burning intensity of Khai's gaze on his back the whole time. He bore the discomfort quietly. If it helped to settle some of Khai's uncertainties, it was the least he could do.

Heading back to the table carefully, he sat next to Khai and hooked his feet around Khai's ankles. With a bit of prompting, he fed Khai their dinner while taking bites for himself intermittently. The bowl was barely half empty when Khai pulled back, shaking his head. Third took the hint and scarfed down the rest of the food quickly before depositing the used cutlery in the sink. Those could be dealt with later; Khai was more important.

"Let's head to bed," he said, grasping Khai's arm lightly.

Khai allowed himself to be pulled into the bedroom and tucked into bed. Third snuggled into his side, throwing an arm and leg over Khai, all but crawling onto him.

Tracing little hearts on Khai's chest, he breathed out, "I hadn't realised. I had noticed that you were behaving strangely, all of us did really, but I never thought that I had given you cause to doubt my love for you. I'd loved you for so long, it seemed obvious."

He felt Khai tremble under him. "Khai. Khai, I love you. And I'm so lucky that you love me too. I'd never want to leave you."

"You don't have to change yourself. My love for you isn't conditional on you behaving the way I want you to." He huffed a laugh, "If it was, I'd never have fallen in love all those years ago."

He continued softly, "Yeah, I appreciate all that you've been doing lately. Because to me, it's like you're expressing your love for me in other ways, and I love it. But you shouldn't do it because you think that I'll get sick of you or something if you didn't do it. I chose you, Khai, flaws and all. You don't have to change yourself to fit the ideal that you think I'll love. Ok?"

They lay together quietly. Third felt a smile grow on his face as Khai turned to his side and drew closer, resting his chin on Third's head.

"Ok," let out Khai shakily.

It would definitely take them time to heal the wounds they had left to fester. But it was time to face them and hopefully come out the other side stronger.

Together.

#chaptersinprogress #theory of love #theory of love the series #khai x third #khaithird #fanfiction #fanfic #if I bleed (you'll be the last to know)

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ateeztories · 4 years

Text

If I Need You I’ll See You In My Dreams. (FULL: so far) word count: 11k+

Angst, Fluff, “Coming of age”

Very Easy Read.

Seonghwa, Wooyoung, y/n imagine.

*AU where Wooyoung never followed Yeosang to KQ. That, however, does not mean they are any lesser friends with each other.*

To anyone who’s reading this, I just wanted to say that this is the first time I’m writing anything creative or anything at all so feel free to give any feedback/criticism. I would certainly appreciate it. Thank you~ so long peeps.

Song recommendation: End by Jeremy Zucker

While reading i’d recommend listening to “Friend A” from Shgatsu Wa Kimi No Uso (Your Lie In April) maybe on a loop O_o

Pilot: Dreams

Seonghwa… You wanted to see him, one last time.

That day, you kissed your boyfriend Wooyoung goodbye at the airport and left him behind in Korea. He kissed you back.

He loved you, and you loved him. Wooyoung, he was the sweetest and the kindest person. He was your person.

He has work to worry about. You were going to miss him so much. Miss his bear hugs and all the other kinds, but you weren’t sad that he wasn’t coming. Only because you had your beloved friend Ji Yeon coming along. She had been with you through your middle school, high school and even ended up going to the same college. She was there for you through thick and thin. You and Ji Yeon were actually, best friends forever. The kind you read in stories and it astounded both of you.

It has been a week since you landed in Canada, there were things to see and to wonder about. You didn’t like to go to crowded places. You just wanted to enjoy the virtue of things that were unappreciated by the people. Go to places no one has ever been to.

That was something you both had in common.

It was Ji Yeon that “introduced” you to the group Ateez. She knew what it meant to you, but she was stubborn and did it anyway. Still, that was ages ago. College was taking over all your time and energy.

This was the break you needed.

You had long forgotten about them. You forgot about him.

...

“Can you believe this??” Ji Yeon Screamed while plopping down on the bed.

“this is the weirdest coincidence ever”

“We should go see it!!!!”

“The concert is in THREE days!!”

All the suppressed memories rolling inside of your mind; all the while Ji Yeon’s voice turns in to mumbled white noises.

“let’s go then,”

you said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

As if you didn’t feel a thing.

Seonghwa… You wanted to see him... From afar. For the last time.

For the last time and never again.

Part 2: Wanna Go Back

“I said I’ll go,”

you said without a drop of emotion displaying on your face. Unlike your heart and mind that was going bat-shit crazy right then.

“Awesome!! I just booked two tickets” Ji Yeon replied. Trying not to sound more suspicious than she already appears to be. You didn’t bother to question her intentions because that was simply none of your concerns at the moment.

Plus she would never do anything to hurt you. Ever.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

It has already been three days since Ji Yeon asked about the concert. You have been trying to contact Wooyoung. Even though, because of of the time difference and his work schedule, it never worked out. The calls were full of Hello’s and farewells. You missed him more than anything.

But now it was just another one of your ever-growing worries.

...

It’s today,

The thought of seeing his face in person never left your mind. It makes your heart feel some sort of way.

The way it feels to walk into a flaming pit of fire.

The way you feel at the drop of a roller coaster.

The way you feel when you see the person you once loved so dearly.

These thoughts made you feel guilty. It made you feel like a bad person.

“If Wooyoung knew what was going through my mind right now, what would he think of me?”

There was nothing you could do besides getting past those thoughts.

You felt all sorts of emotions as you walked into the concert hall.

“What are the chances that Ateez goes on tour here, at the same time we come to Canada??” Ji Yeon said.

“Ya… no shit”

Noticeably, you weren’t feeling it. you just wanted to get over it. You needed closure, and a part of you hated that feeling. Ji Yeon was no stranger to your mood swings. She caught on quite fast. Faster than you thought. Three days faster.

Somehow she knew what she was doing. Except, she didn’t know the whole story.

You walked through big brown doors into a seemingly small venue. You saw fan-girls falling into line behind the barricade like a bunch of tiny colonized ants. They bumped into your shoulder, passing you by as you walked among them, step by step. You looked around scanning the venue, while clinging to Ji Yeon.

“Maybe we should just go back,” you said with the least bit of persuasion.

“Are you kidding me? those tickets were NOT free” Ji Yeon said with a face that only you could decipher.

You knew there was going back.

The venue became full, there was no chance for him to see your face. Even if he did, there was no way he would recognize you. It’s been too long since he last saw you.

Eventually and gradually, the stage became brighter as the audience became darker. This assured you, he wasn’t seeing you today.

Ateez members entered the stage one after another.

You saw his silhouette.

His tall figure that was impossible to forget. You saw his face, he looked different. Different from the face that was buried in your memories.

The music began to play and the performance started. The crowd went wild while you stared blindly onto the stage… standing still, wondering what you went there to do that day. You questioned your intentions in the midst of being unable to look away from his direction.

You eyes flickering at the thought of getting closure

“What closure?”

“How is this closure?”

You thought, staring at his face full of demeanor.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. you took it out slowly looking down, though your eyes could not leave the stage. You wearily look at your phone.

“Wooyoung!!!”

Your face lit up, eyes shimmered. This was the first time you were able to reach him in three days. You unintentionally jumped up and down in excitement.

You forgot all your worries and unwanted feelings.

You signaled Ji Yeon and she was telling you to get out and take the call.

The song, Utopia, was coming to an end. The members stood on the stage when Jongho approached them while singing the last verse. It was a beautiful piece of art deserving of endless admiration.

Fan chants were echoing throughout the entire room: “Kim Hongjoong! Park Seonghwa! Jeong Yunho! Kang Yeosang! Choi San! Song Mingi! Choi Jongho! Lee Junyeong!!!”

As you were moving across the crowd making your way out, you looked at the stage for the last time. There he was… looking like the same old person that you knew. Head tilted up and with his eyes closed. His black hair wet with sweat that dripped down his chin and onto his shirt.

Still, you hated him for what he did.

You have Wooyoung now.

He is waiting for you to answer. He is waiting for you. You looked away and pushed your way out through the crowd. Went out of the nearest door which led you outside. It was dark, the street lights flickered and they were stable at the same time.

Not one single soul to be seen.

The door closed behind you as you answered the phone in a haste. “Wooyoung I miss-”

“Let’s break up”

…

Frozen.

Unable to take another step.

How to react?

“Woo- Wooyoung?”

your voice, weak, surprised and baffled in disbelief.

You can still hear noises from the inside. muffled screaming of the fans.

The music has ended.

There was silence and everything else.

“How to turn back time?”

Where did it all go wrong?“

"Why?”

Part 3: Your Lie

"Wooyoung I miss-“

"Let’s break up”

…

Frozen.

People say your body freezes when you don’t know what to do.

“Should I fight this?” …

“Should I just run away?”

When he said those words… You just froze.

Unable to take another step

“How do I react?” You think.

Think, and there is nothing.

Your mind is empty, exhausted and deluded.

Legs giving out, your body crumbles onto the ground as you sit on the pavement of the building, your knees nearly touching your chest.

Your mind completely disregards the sound of the door behind, opening and closing.

You finally find the strength to say the words lingering at the tip of your tongue.

“What do you mean you want to break up?”

“Why?”

“Why now?”

“Just tell me what is going on, we can figure this out together.”

Silence… Stillness.

You can hear Wooyoung’s breath. You can hear his longing sighs. His voice stutterers to break this ominous silence.

You could finally hear his voice loud and clear.

“I think you already know y/n.” His voice almost sounds drunk.

“There is nothing to figure out.” Has he been crying?

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” You respond.

“Wooyoung please…”

“Please… can you just wait until I reach Korea”

“I’m going to book the first flight tomorrow”

“Just hold on one more day”

“Please,” You sounded hopeless and desperate.

The silence of the surrounding creates goosebumps all over your exposed skin. The cold freezing winds making you sink into your own body. You are sniffing, your breath is shivering, and it is not because of the freezing winds. In the verge of tears, a lump in your throat. Your heart is beating so fast to the point you almost want to throw up at the thought of being without him.

You could hear footsteps behind you. You could see in the corner of your eyes, a tall shadow of a person. At this moment, you don’t care. Nothing matters as the only beautiful thing in your life slips away from your fingertips.

The tall figure gently walked to the side of you and stopped at the edge of the pavement. You didn’t look up at his face. You thought it was just a person coming out to get a breath of “fresh” air, a break from the chaos that is inside. Air that has now been polluted by the thoughts in your mind. He sat down beside you in a peaceful manner. Oddly enough, you weren’t scared of the stranger sitting beside you. All you could think about was Wooyoung.

Though it felt familiar.

You were now curious, this stranger that carries a homely scent, an intimate familiarity. You lookup slowly… Upon his direction… All the while holding Wooyoung on the other side of the phone… You look.

He was looking at the distant empty roads across the parking lot. Your eyes grew wider.

It’s Seonghwa… Park Seonghwa!

At that instant, Wooyoung’s voice echoed through and out of the space enclosing you.

“Fine! I cheated on you!”

You heard Wooyoung’s reckless voice breaking the silence, as you stared into Seonghwa’s eyes.

You can’t believe your ears. Your heart is beating so fast. To the point, you almost want to throw up at the thought of him being with someone else. All the moments you both shared, gone in a fleeting minute. All the feelings of love and devotion suppressed deep inside your mind.

You can’t believe your eyes. The person that sits beside you at this moment. The person you missed for the longest time, and the person you hated the most. Now knows your most vulnerable secret.

You are looking at his face, but you’re not looking at him. Your mind wanders to places no one wants to be in.

“I cheated on you. Is that what you want to hear?”

You are still looking up at Seonghwa’s direction. There is no doubt he can hear Wooyoung’s voice coming through the phone in this heart wrenching silence.

“This is it,” you thought. You were never gonna see Wooyoung again. He dares to break up with you over a phone call. End it all, after being together for two years.

Alone, you still loved him. All the feelings were suppressed. Yet they were still there.

All of this is happening so fucking fast. But, It felt like forever.

You still couldn’t say a word to Wooyoung.

Words are coming out of your mouth but your voice doesn’t make any sound. Your heart is shattered into dust. The street lights are flickering and glistering in your teary eyes.

Wooyoung continues, sounding spiteful than he’s ever been.

“Did you really think you were the only person I was with? Oh y/n you are too naive”

“This is not him,” You thought, while saying nothing and nothing at all. You continued to listen to him, step on what’s left of your heart.

“y/n, Did you honestly think I love-”

Seonghwa grasped the phone out of your hand and hung up. He latched on to the phone while keeping his head down.

Not once, ever since he sat down beside you, did he look at your face.

You looked at him. Then you gazed up into the distance.

There was silence yet again.

The deafening silence.

The silence that you loathed more than anything.

Part 4: The Story

“Wooyoung.”

Saying his name, just thinking about it, makes your heart, break into a million little pieces. You wanted to cry, cry your eyes out and throw up all the feelings that were bottled inside.

“y/n” Seonghwa muttered as he extended his arms to hold on while turning your way. To hold on to you… to comfort you.

“Don’t…” you said. Keeping a straight face. While taking a deep breath, in an attempt to keep your composure. Because you can’t cry. Not in front of him. You don’t need his pity. And he doesn’t deserve to feel bad for you. It puzzled you, how difficult it was to not cry out loud. Scream at the top of your lungs. Yet he does not get to see you cry. After all, he left you. left you to wonder where he vanished to, without a word. Without even saying goodbye, he disappeared.

“Don’t touch me,” you said. Calm, but stern. You’re not a high schooler anymore. You’re not young anymore. You’re not his friend anymore.

Nothing less and nothing more.

You gaze up at the distance roads, turning your face away from Seonghwa’s direction. There is a horizon between the field across the road and the night sky full of stars. It’s a magical view for a night like this. A night that carries a sob story for people to read about.

You look at Seonghwa with eyes that hold a thousand, million words. His soft black hair is reflecting against the moonlight. It is blowing across his face as the wind sweeps the tension among you. The tension that holds a history belonging to you and only him. His hair… it had so much character. Once again, he looks like the person you know.

…

He had blonde hair when you first saw him on TV for the first time. It was peachy and unfamiliar. It carried a cold persona. You couldn’t recognize him at a glance. When you finally understood, you stared at his face for hours on end.

“So that’s where he ran off to…” you remember thinking. You remember going through a roller coaster of emotions all alone.

…

Flashbacks rushing back into your mind like an old movie reeling, roll after roll, scene after scene. Each moment you spend together; good, bad, exhilarating and frightening.

You were just friends, but more than that. You weren’t lovers but you loved each other. It was a beautiful time to be alive.

How hard it was for you; he may never know. But there was someone… not Ji Yeon, someone else. And that person was Wooyoung. He was there for you when you cried for so many nights and poured your heart out to him. You never thought of this moment, never thought how painful this moment would be. This moment he chooses to part ways.

“It’s happening all over again.” You said.

Thoughts, speculations, tearing through your mind, “There has to be something going on… he is not the type of person to do this.” All the while knowing that this, won’t change the fact that he broke up with you. He’s leaving you…

He left you.

It’s hard to face reality. Reality is sitting beside you. It is staring at you right in the face.

“It’s not fair,” you spoke under your breath.

You look up at the starry yet gloomy sky and blink the tears away.

“Why is everything going wrong today?” you wonder.

You squeeze your eyes shut tight to stop the tears. Still, they come creeping down your eyelids and stream along your glowing cheeks. One fell, two fell, tears came pouring out of your eyes. You put your guard down. No… your “guard,” was never there. It was denial, spite and history.

With both hands you cover your face and eyes to hide,. Your entire body trembles to the beat of your sobbing. You can feel the muscles in your face shaking. You can taste the salty tears as they fall onto your lips. You hear yourself silently screaming to release the pain you hold inside your throat. Your heart sinks deeper and deeper, each time you let out air. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t pleasant. You felt pathetic and miserable.

As the night gets darker and your sobs get louder, you feel the embrace of Seonghwa. You feel his touch for the first time in two years. It’s warm in this cold weather. It brings you comfort and relief. You continued to cry like a little child as he held on to you.

“I’m sorry,” He said.

Guilt, regret, pity, sorrow and all the feelings you can feel. These two words held so much meaning and you can hear every single one of them through his gentle voice.

…………

Seonghwa left, but he was always there. In the back of your mind. From the day he stepped in to that classroom. There was always comfort in his presence. Even the thought of him made you feel warm inside. There was never a guard between the two of you. The walls between you collapsed a long time ago and they were never going to come back up.

“Can I say the same for him?” You ask yourself. Whilst being wrapped up in his arms and feeling hollow inside.

He was your person before anyone else.

Were you his?

Part 5: Friends

Park Seonghwa…He is with you, you feel his warmth, the feeling you craved at this moment. Your face is buried in his chest. Sobbing like a broken machine. A broken soul.

The history behind you two was always complicated, and it will always be, complicated.

━━━━━━༻p a s t༺━━━━━━

You were walking along the narrow sidewalk on the first day of high school. You stopped at an intersection, to wait for Ji Yeon. Waited and waited, you called her cell phone, and no one answered. You walked into the grocery store nearby to wait for her. You jump at everything so the ringing sound as you stepped into the store while opening the door startled you. It was a lovely day outside, but the sunlight was hot. You decided to get some ice cream for you and Ji Yeon. You were leaning, concentrated, picking her and your favourite ice creams.

You heard the ringing once again and It scared the hell out of you. Your head shot up and turned towards the door with eyes wide. He stepped into the store while caressing his messy school boy hair.

There he was… Seonghwa.

That was the first time you saw him. He was wearing the same kind of uniform; you knew he went to your school. He looked… handsome. Not your stereotypical “idol” handsome. Oh, the irony. It made your heart flutter, even though he looked like he could make you squirm with just a glance. His presence made you feel some kind of way. His aura was overwhelmingly attractive. You stared at him for a good minute until he noticed you. Which is when you were taken back to reality with a slap in the face. You looked away so quickly, you felt something snap in your neck. You were a deer in headlights.

You picked up the first two ice creams that caught your hand and went up to the counter hoping to escape this humiliation. While you were waiting for the cashier to scan the items, you felt a strong presence behind you. It was him… standing tall, making you feel all kinds of intimidated. “how did he get there so fast??” you contemplate during this mental chaos.

You paid the cashier at lightning speed and ran towards the exit. You looked back just for the sake of it while opening the doors, only to see him staring at you. He smiled at you. It looked more like he laughed at you but “What do I know,” you thought while making a face that felt like a smile while walking out of the store. If only the muscles in your face moved properly, it wouldn’t have looked like you just ate the world’s most sour lemon.

You walked outside to see Ji Yeong standing at the intersections waiting to cross the street. You sneaked up on her placing both ice creams on her cheeks. Ji young turned around in a flash raising her hand to almost knock you out. “Oh it’s just you” “Why do you sound disappointed? Are you sad you couldn’t knock me out??” Mundane conversations never felt so good at that moment. The big sister you never had. No… The big sister you always had, watching over you. Making sure you always have your life together. And you were the same. Clumsy, but you tried. She was the more mature one.

“Why is your face so red?” Ji Yeong asked tilting her head. While grabbing the ice cream out of your hands. “O? Oh there was-” At that moment, Seonghwa walked out of the store. Ji Yeong’s attention immediately went to him, she looked at you and him again. “She’s too smart for her own good.” you think while looking at her face that is now grinning like a clown

“I- I think he goes to our school,” you said avoiding her eyes “Ohohoho, you think??” Ji Young said still smirking like a damn clown. She looked up at you with squinty eyes with an even wider grin. You knew she was about to do something you’re both going to regret.

Ji Yeon looked at Seonghwa who was walking towards the school. “HEY, YOU!!!” She screamed. Seonghwa looked back afraid for his life.

“HEYYY WHAT ARE YOU DOING???“ You said, silently screaming.

Ji Yeong ran towards him whilst dragging you with her.

How she has the courage to do things like this, you never understood. But you were always grateful for that. But this time you weren't so sure, “Why in the world is she doing this??” you wonder all the while being dragged by the mighty hands of Ji Yeon. Seonghwa still standing, scared for his life by the sight of Ji Yeong running towards him amid pulling you like a suitcase. The way Ji Yeon suddenly stopped running and the moumentum she had built up made you crash onto Seonghwa.

“Sorry,” you said, frowning at Ji Yeon and blushing like no one’s business.

“You okay?” He asked with coughing out a laugh. You heard his voice for the first time. His voice matched so perfectly to his oh so handsome face.

Leaves started falling slowly, winds brushed through the three of you standing on the sidewalk. Autumn has never looked so beautiful.

You remember walking to the school together, he parted ways to walk with his friends at the Entrance. His friends, you became close to them too.

You walked into the classroom that belonged to you for the year. Took a deep breath. ”everything will be fine,“ you more so wished.

Ji Yeon ended up in a different homeroom, unfortunately. Her outgoing self was fine. However, you were scared.

You chose your seat close to the window. A place that made the classroom feel much bigger. Looking outside somehow made you calm. And the sound of birds and wind crashing on the windows made you feel like you were outside.

That’s when he entered the classroom. His eyes scanned the room and stopped at you. He slowly walked towards you.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked… with a smile? You don’t remember.

“No, you can sit here,” You said with a faint curious smile tracking his face as he sat down. There was that feeling again… But this time it was different. It felt normal, a beautiful, typical feeling… It was like he was always there in your comfort.

You two were quiet for a long minute.

“I can’t believe we’re in the same homeroom,” He spoke with that gentle voice again.

This was the beginning of a questionable yet charming, melancholic, and longing friendship that lasted for years… It was normal, doesn’t any friendship start out like this?

But a part of you knew how special this was.

Today, you are holding him once again… after years,

Crying because of another man.

Crying because of Wooyoung… His old friend…

Your old friend.

You just want this never-ending night to be over.

You needed time, to stop crying… Time to think.

Part 6: Timing

You hated “Time”…

Life happens… Time goes on without a care for your emotions, without a care for anyone’s feelings.

Time, the passage that left you behind at the peak of your teenage years.

It felt good at times but just some days, you could feel it. Feel the emptiness lingering at the back of your mind.

But now, you needed time. More than anything, you needed time to think about what had just happened today.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The memories of the early teenage years reeled in your thoughts. All the while, your head was buried in his chest.

He no longer belongs to you. You… are not his anymore.

You’re not anyone’s… anymore, and these thoughts frightened you.

His embrace comforted you while you melted away at his warmth. It distracted you from breaking apart this endearing connection.

As the night went by, you finally gathered the courage to pull away from him.

You’re not crying anymore, although your face was now swollen, red and soaked with fallen tears. You notice that his shirt was drenched in your tears as you bring your arms up to dry your face. You glance at his face with an apologetic smile.

“Are you okay?” Seonghwa look at you, only to look away at the distant roads.

A bitter laugh escaped your mouth… “I’m not okay,” You sighed.

“My boyfriend… just broke up with me,” You say while staring into the night sky.

“I know. I…heard”, Seonghwa stutter.

“Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk”, He spoke again, knowing full well, that it was Wooyoung. His old friend.

Hearing him say that angered you.

Wooyoung stuck by you during your worst times. He made you laugh with his whole being. He was there for you… He took care of you, and you did the same.

"He was there for me", You think. The person who called you today wasn’t him. You were still in denial. After all the things that happened, you still couldn’t shake away the pieces of hearts you left with him. The feelings you left with him when you kissed him goodbye at the airport.

“It’s Wooyoung…don’t you remember? You were friends with him in high school" You say although you knew… that he knew.

"And you don’t know anything about him,” You said, irritated by his words.

He did… probably more than you ever knew about Wooyoung.

Your thoughts yell at him… “HE was there for me when YOU weren’t!”

He doesn’t get to say those things when he was the one that left you.

Maybe saying “sorry” doesn’t make it all okay. Maybe it didn’t matter to Seonghwa if he said goodbye that day or not.

Maybe…he didn’t see you the same way, you saw at him.

All your pent up anger started pouring out of your body. But you were stern.

You stood up… looking forward, steadily. Head held up high with all the force you could muster.

Is it time?

Is it time to finally confront him?

there was that helpless silence again.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The concert ended a long time ago. The fans must have left the venue.

you looked at your phone to see a text from Ji Yeon.

“I’ll be waiting in the car if you need me"

You walked forward. Not having the guts to face him, you started to speak, facing your back at him…

Thinking that this, would be the last time.

The last time you will ever speak to him.

The last time he will ever hear your voice.

"You know what? … You could have at least told me why"

"Why you had to leave like that,” Your voice trembled at the thought of confrontation.

“You could have at least-”

“I did…"

Seonghwa cut you off.

You didn’t turn to look at him, but your face looks confused and baffled at his statement.

"My letter… I wrote you a letter” You could hear the disbelief in his voice as he recalls the day he left.

“Seonghwa…What are you talking about?” You ask while your eyebrows narrow in doubt and shaking your head in denial.

“The letter… It was so sudden… they gave me such a short time to decide and leave the city… I didn’t even get much time to say goodbye to my friends… And you” He continued.

“I didn’t want to text or call you and leave suddenly, so… I wrote you a letter"

You could not believe what was coming out of his mouth. your mind was unstable at his excuses.

"He can’t possibly be serious right now…What letter?” you think as you hear Seonghwa’s muffled voice described what happened that day.

You took a step forward and started to walk away.

“I wrote it and gave it to Wooy-"

...

You hear Seonghwa stop himself as the realization hits both of you.

You were no longer walking away.

You froze.

You could hear, the sound of wind brushing through the tree branches in this Midsummer night.

The whole world stopped and Time stood still. For the first time in your life, time was no longer passing you by. It stood still, and waited… for you to get on the passage that once left you behind.

For the first time, a piece fell perfectly into your puzzling life.

It fell into the perfect place while all the others blew in the wind…

Part 7: Let You Go (You & Wooyoung POV)

Maybe it was never meant to be…

“Maybe it’s time to let you go”

He thinks.

The day you left Korea he knew, you were going to slip away. He had friends that knew Seonghwa. He knew that it was only a matter of time. He knew that you were going to meet him there.

At the back of his mind, he also knew that you needed this.

He knew that maybe, it was time to let you go.

He loved you.

He loves you.

Still.

━━━━━━༻ p a s t ༺━━━━━━

On the first day of High School, he laid eyes on you for the first time, when he saw you walking with Seonghwa and Ji Yeon.

Seonghwa parted from you and Ji Yeon to walk with Wooyoung and his other friends.

His bitter unrequited, one sided crush... began that day.

“Who is that?” he asked Seonghwa, unable to take his eyes away from you.

You were radiating like a star in the daylight.

It was magic to him.

“Uhhh… she’s y/n, I just met her today. And that's her friend Ji Yeon” Seonghwa said.

He saw your eyes sparkling at the sight of Seonghwa…

The day he saw you for the first time, he knew that you were never going to look at him the same way.

The way he looked at you.

The way you… looked at Seonghwa.

He became friends with Seonghwa’s friends, which meant that he became friends with you and Ji Yeon.

Four Years of endearing friendships with you, Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Ji Yeon. The world belonged to the four of you. There were other people, coming in and out of your lives…

Yet the world revolved around the four of you when you were together.

Each and every one of you would do anything, to get back those four years…

To go back the time you were friends and nothing less or nothing more.

Everyone knew the relationship between you and Seonghwa was special. Everyone except you and Seonghwa.

Wooyoung didn’t know about the things that happened between just the two of you, except, he would notice the subtle changes. He saw the walls between you and Seonghwa slowly fall apart. It didn’t matter how high or how strong they were, he noticed. Ji Yeon noticed.

He was never going to come between the two of you.

The times Wooyoung spent with you, the four of you were always there.

Amid everything, he found everything that you did so endearing, adorable and he respected you for who you are. He loved everything about you. He saw that you were clumsy, intelligent and wise. He saw your flaws and quirks and still loved you anyway. He would get butterflies in his stomach each time he saw you enter a room. He could feel his heart beating faster when you were sitting inches apart.

He also knew that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

The only difference was that you didn’t see him the way you saw Seonghwa.

It was painful, to say the least.

But he saw how happy you were around Seonghwa. He wasn’t going to take that away from you.

Wooyoung being Seonghwa’s best friend, they only wanted the best for each other.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The day before Seonghwa left.

It was past 10:00 pm

Wooyoung got a phone call from Seonghwa that day.

“I need to tell you something”

“I need you to do this one last favor… for her"

He said.

It was a strangely quiet night that day.

There was a park next to Wooyoung’s apartment. A place the four of you used to hang out at night time looking at stars. A place where you all made late-night conversations that dove deep into your souls. The place that triggered conversations leading to teardrops that reflected the moonlight. It was merely a playground but for you four, it was perhaps the symbol of your friendship.

Wooyoung knew exactly where to go when Seonghwa called him to meet up. He saw Seonghwa’s back. His figure that was sitting on a bench crouched down. His demeanor had dark clouds forming at the top of his head.

At that moment he knew.

Seonghwa always talked about leaving… to go follow his dreams. It meant leaving his friends and everyone he loved. Wooyoung never thought this day would come. Although he knew how much talent and potential Seonghwa had, he never through this day would come. He never thought that Seonghwa would actually leave all of you.

Wooyoung approached Seonghwa.

He had an envelope in his hands. He was fiddling with it as if he didn’t know what to do with the envelope in his hand. It was as if he wanted to give it away as soon as he could.

"Hey”, Wooyoung said while making his way to Seonghwa.

Seonghwa’s head turned towards Wooyoung in an instant. He stood up slwoly while looking at Wooyoung concerned.

“Hey,” Seonghwa muttered. reluctant to let anything come out of his mouth.

“You said you wanted to tell me something?… Is everything all right?? Let’s just sit down first”

“No,” Seonghwa said… as if he was in a hurry to run away.

“Actually, I’m leaving…

Tomorrow”

Wooyoung let out a laugh “What are you talking about? Where are you going?"

He laughed because of how ridiculous Seonghwa sounded when he said those words without any context.

He laughed…

Because, at the back of his mind, he knew exactly what Seonghwa was talking about.

Seonghwa knew that Wooyoung didn’t need an explanation.

After all, they were best friends.

"I… I wanted to tell you at least.”

“I want to tell y/n too but right now, I don’t think I can look her in the face and say goodbye”

“Or even a phone call... she’d hate me”

“Just this once, can do me one last favor? Will you give this to her” Seonghwa asked Woooung.

“Of course,” Wooyoung said without hesitation.

There were no other intentions. The letter was meant to be for you and it was going to end up in your hands.

Seonghwa finally gave Wooyoung, the letter. The letter that holds a thousand words and feelings to be unraveled.

His hands… they felt heavy.

It seemed like he was about to burst into tears. Looking down, trying to trap the tears from leaping out of his eyes. Wooyoung felt the same. He thought that he was about to lose his best friend. They both held in tears because it’s not like them to cry.

It’s not like them to cry they thought, because they were who people thought they were.

Because when they act differently, people judge.

Because people are who determines what kind of children they are.

This was the mindset of these two teenagers.

Teenagers soon to learn what life is. Learn to love themselves as they are. Teenagers who were to learn how to truly love others. Learn to not care about what the world thinks of them. They would soon learn that as long as they were good, honest people, that it’s okay to cry if they feel like it. Cry happy tears, sad ones and all the other kinds.

But at that moment, they were just teenagers full of feelings and dreams.

And those teenagers were willing to do anything… right or wrong, to fulfill those feelings and dreams.

They talked for hours after. The typical things best friends talk about.

Both of them were known for their way with words. Perhaps the lack of it. But that night, they talked about the most mundane things for hours on end, while keeping a lump in their throats.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

They said their goodbyes.

Wooyoung watched Seonghwa walk away.

Nothing was going to break the friendship they had.

Nothing except Time, Distance and somebody else.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

Mondays.

Everyone hates those right?

Wooyoung biked to school that day. It was sunny and cold.

His mind was filled with a thousand, million thoughts as he swept through the cool winds.

An envelope tucked safely inside of his bag, he parked his bike and made his way into the classroom.

He stopped himself by the classroom doors, at the sight of you.

You were sitting by the window as usual. Enjoying the warm sunlight hitting your face. Not aware of how heartbreakingly beautiful you looked. The small crack in the window blew wind across your face making you look even more breathtaking.

“There it goes again,” He thought.

That feeling in his heart, every time he saw you.

It always started in a blur…

Everything would go quiet and then, like a train getting faster and faster, his heart would start pounding like crazy.

Ji Yeon came up behind him and put her hand around his shoulders. At that instant, he snapped back to reality. The classroom was full of noise once again and he began to notice the people around him.

“What are you looking at?” Ji Yeon asked jokingly.

“Hm?” He asked without making eye contact and pretending to be clueless.

Everyone knew about his feelings for you. Everyone but you and Seonghwa.

“Nevermind, let’s sit down the class is about to start,” Ji Yeon said with a smirk on her face.

He went to sit at the desk behind you, while Ji Yeon sat beside you.

You turned to Ji Yeon, “Do you know where Seonghwa is? I didn’t see him in the morning and he’s not picking up my calls.”

“Did you try texting him?” Ji Yeon asked.

“Ya, but he’s the type to rather call than text you know,” you talked with a concerning tone.

“Don’t worry, he’s probably just too lazy to drag his ass out of bed” Ji Yeon, being herself, tried to make you feel at ease. You let out a laugh only to bring yourself back to worrying.

Wooyoung saw that you were worried. He tapped you in the shoulder while calling your name.

“Y/n…”

You looked behind at him with the same expression. “Hm? what is it?” “Do you know where Seonghwa is?”

Wooyoung didn’t know what to say. Nothing was coming out of his mouth. He managed to say just one thing.

“Can you meet me after school? There’s something I need to give you.”

You looked at his face in confusion and curiosity, only to agree to him.

“Sure… of course,” You said while nodding.

The teacher entered the classroom. You and Ji Yeon went about the day thinking that Seonghwa was just saying home for the day. You were planning to call him after school. Maybe drop by his house to see if he’s okay. Not in a million years, you would have thought that he left his friends. That he left you.

The last bell rang. Students were rushing out of the school.

Wooyoung was standing by the gate, waiting for you.

He was holding the envelope in his hands. This time he looked at it carefully. It was white in color and had a pretty border around the corners. Your name was written on it with Seonghwa’s handwriting.

He noticed you walking towards him.

Thoughts began reeling in his mind, all the while he stared at you from a distance.

“What did he wanna say to you?"

"Why did he only tell me?"

"Why am I the one delivering this to you?”

“It’s not fair,” He looked at the bright blue sky only to turn his head back your way.

Those feelings came back.

He was a teenager after all. A teenager that was willing to do anything for his feelings.

Wooyoung was a good student. A good person.

But it only took a split second to ask those questions.

“What if you never get it?"

"What if you never find out?”

“Will things be different… between us?”

He thought, watching you getting closer and closer to him.

When you approached him he was looking at you. Although it seemed as if he was staring into another world.

“Earth to Wooyoung!!” You said while waving your hand in front of his face.

He looked at you once again as if he looked at you for the first time ever.

The envelope was no longer in his hands.

It was yet again safely tucked away in his bag… never to end up in your hands.

Or so he thought.

“Oh hey,"

Wooyoung said under his breath.

You held out your hand expecting something.

"You said you were gonna give me something”

“Huh?” he said as if he was caught off guard.

He’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Yet he thought that this was his only chance to make anything happen between the two of you.

“Oh…” he put her hand away gently.

“I wanted to treat you today…” He said.

“Treat me?"

"Yeah… let’s go get some food. Do you want to call Ji Yeon too?"

He said, trying to sound less suspicious than he already does.

"No, she said she wanted to go home early today.”

“Something to do with her mom.”

He nodded, “Okay let’s go then”

“What do you wanna eat?” He asked looking straight ahead while walking out of the gates of your high school.

“Anything… as long as you’re buying,” You said, sounding like the happiest person on earth.

It made him laugh. It made him happy, to see you happy.

But he knew that your happiness wasn’t going to last long. He knew that you were never going to see Seonghwa after that day. Never in a way that would able for you and Seonghwa to truly be together. He had to find a way to tell you all about it. Any other way that wouldn’t involve you seeing that letter.

The air was cool that day, but not cool enough to restrict him or you from buying ice cream. He knew you loved ice cream. No matter how cold it was out, you would never refuse to buy your favorite ice cream. Let along someone else buy it for you.

You noticed the worry in Wooyoung’s face. He has been like this all day. He knew you were smart enough to figure out that something was wrong, but never acted upon it. Even while paying the cashier, he was thinking of the things he should tell you.

You two were walking on the sidewalk, next to each other, when you suddenly jumped in front of him and said,

“Jeong Wooyoung… is there something you want to tell me?"

You weren’t expecting him to be serious about this but when you said those words, he stopped dead in his tracks. His head lowered and then he looked at you with his soft eyes like he was sorry.

”But what for?“

You thought.

"There…” he pointed to a park that was nearby.

“Let’s go over there and talk,” he said.

They walked over to the park. You kept looking at his face but he had his head steady and looking straight.

A part of you knew that this was about Seonghwa. You had been worrying about him that whole day.

Still, you weren’t ready for what you were about to hear.

“We’re here now… just tell me.”

“You have to promise me that, you won’t freak out... o-or cry...”

“Okay sure, get on with it already”.

“Seonghwa…”

You kept staring at him, as though you didn’t want him to speak anymore.

“He left the city,”

Wooyoung said under his breath. He didn’t want you to feel this way. He thought you were about to break down in front of him.

Instead, you showered him with questions that were pouring out of your mind.

“What do you mean?"

"Where did he go?”

“Why?”

You didn’t move. you kept staring at him with teary eyes until you got the answers you wanted.

Wooyoung kept quiet. He didn’t know what to say. He knew that you would find out soon enough. He knew that it was better to just tell you at that moment. But all that came out of his mouth was,

“I’m sorry”

“What do you mean you’re sorry?”

“You’re supposed to know these things!!”

There was no one at the park. You could’ve screamed at the top of your lungs if you wanted to but you didn’t. No one would understand the frustration, the anger and the sadness you were feeling inside. Yet you kept yourself composed.

“You’re his best friend… How could you not know?” You said finally.

Wooyoung tried to speak.

“He didn’t-”

“I don’t wanna be here anymore," You cut him off.

You stood up.

"Thank you… for the ice cream,” you spoke.

At that moment he knew that you weren’t angry at him.

You were angry at Seonghwa for leaving. Perhaps leaving without a word. For disappearing into thin air like your friendship meant nothing.

You went home that day resenting everything about Seonghwa. You assumed that he didn’t want to be contacted by you or anyone he knew.

So you didn’t.

It was emptiness more so than anger or resentment.

You felt betrayed and cheated…

From the wrong person. but you didn’t know.

Wooyoung watched you walk away that day.

He felt ashamed and guilty but he didn’t want to lose you.

If he were to tell you what he had done then, he knew that it would be the end of it all. It was too late.

Although it wasn’t forever, he knew he had to live with it, until one day.

What he didn’t know was that this would be the day when everything will be destroyed between everyone he loved.

...

Months went by before the time you learned about Seonghwa’s whereabouts. You were at home cleaning the living room and there was a music show playing on the TV.

That was the day you found out.

Where he had been all this time.

You saw him on TV for the first time… in months.

At first, you couldn’t recognize him.

“How can a person change in such a short time,” you thought.

You thought while staring into the TV.

It read “ATEEZ” at the bottom of the screen.

“What a weird name,” You thought.

“Was this his big secret?” You thought.

You thought and you though…

You couldn’t stop thinking.

His hair was peachy blonde. It looked unfamiliar and yet, he looked like the same old Seonghwa, the longer you looked. His built was familiar and beautiful as always.

He looked like he was having the time of his life.

“He seems happy…” You thought.

The emptiness you felt for the longest started to fill with sadness.

You felt your legs giving out and fell onto the ground.

“Why is this affecting me so much?” You wonder.

You felt emotions you’ve never felt before.

You felt your heart getting tighter at every breath you took.

“He could have just said goodbye…"

“ If you just said something to me…”

"We would have been fine…”

You thought.

...

You were no longer the same person you were before.

You went to Wooyoung and he was there for you.

Everything you wanted… he had.

He was there to make you laugh when you were sad.

He was there to take you to places when you needed it.

He was there to bury you in his arms when you felt like you were alone in this world.

He was there when you were crying your heart out because of Seonghwa at that time.

That was the reason for this endearing relationship.

The endearing relationship that was built on a lie.

━━━━━━༻ p r e s e n t ༺━━━━━━

Today,

Wooyoung sits on the empty beach at midnight.

The place you two kissed for the first time.

There is a bottle of alcohol by his side and a worn-out envelope in his hands. It didn’t look white anymore… and the corners looks folded and messy.

Yet it was unopened.

Unopened and still waiting for lingering feelings to be freed into the world.

The feelings waiting to be read to you.

Still waiting to land in your hands.

He recalls the phone call he made to you as he gets sober into the night.

The moonlight reflects on the ocean.

It looks beautiful and blue and yet his head is down.

...

“Fine! I cheated on you!!” He remembers saying.

Except he didn’t.

“Maybe it would be easier for you to hate me if I said those words,” He thinks.

“You would have met him by now,” He thinks

“Maybe its time to tell the truth,” He thinks.

His phone starts vibrating on the ground.

Making it sink more in to the sand with each vibration.

He finally looks at his phone. His eyes are red from crying.

He sees his phone lighting up with your name on it through the tiny sand rocks.

He tries to brush up his hair that sticks to his face.

Amid the sounds of waves crashing the sand,

Despite the dark yet beautiful scenario he sits before, He only thinks of you.

He reaches for the phone.

As Wooyoung answers your call, and as he brings it onto his ear, he thinks…

“Maybe it’s time to let you go…"

The beach was empty that night.

Yet there was the sound of ocean waves rumbling onto the sand only to fade back away at his feet.

The beach was empty that night because people were too busy to admire the moon light reflecting on the calm waters on a Tuesday night.

The beach was empty that night and his remorse, shame and regret managed to fill the air around him.

Making him lonelier than anyone could ever know.

Part 8: If I Leave Now… (back to “second person”)

If we only saw what we wanted to see…

What would we see?

If we only heard what we wanted to hear…

What would we hear?

“Right now all I see is the ground at my feet. I see the two years I spent with Wooyoung flashing before my eyes."

"Right now… all I hear is the sound of the wind. My mind… is immersed in the sounds of laughter from those times I spent with him…"

"Were they real to him?”

Your back faces Seonghwa. You were about to leave, thinking you said what needed to be said.

…

“Wooyoung… I gave it to him…”

“Did you ever get it?…” Seonghwa asks, not taking his eyes away from your sight. Expecting your answer to be “Yes” and nothing else.

But his voice… You could hear the little trembles of insecurity and doubt.

It’s been years since you hear Seonghwa’s voice. You can feel his gaze on you for the first time in forever.

You can’t stand to hear his shaky voice.

You can’t bear to turn around to look at his face.

All you could think about is running away.

Runaway to find the answers.

Runaway only to run back to the person you don’t want to see.

“I have to go…"

"I have to talk to Wooyoung.”

You say.

You could only imagine what Seonghwa’s face looks like. Eyes wide and his soft hair brushing across his creased forehead. You knew Seonghwa enough to know that this isn’t what he wanted to hear at this moment.

Would anyone?

You hear things you don’t want to hear.

The last thing you want to hear is that the mundane yet wondrous two years you spend with Wooyoung was a lie.

Despite the severed feelings, you were willing to carry those memories with you because it made you happy in a puzzling way.

But now those memories, tainted with regret and bitterness.

Just because at the start of it all, there was a lie.

Countless thoughts go through your mind and you still can’t wrap your head around what happened today.

Although you knew that closing your eyes, does not make this day any less real, that’s all you can bear to do.

You close your eyes…

You close your eyes and hope to wake up from this nightmare.

…

“If I leave now…”

“If I leave now, when will I see you again…”

“If I leave now… will I find my way back to you.”

The wind sweeps past you as you take a deep breath.

You open your eyes facing the sky full of stars before letting yourself do whatever your heart desired at the moment.

You want to see his face before you leave.

Your eyes wander at his direction and the body carried the rest.

Your footsteps are reaching him as he stares at you hopelessly.

…

There you are… standing in front of him.

The familiarity lingers as you step closer to him.

He has changed so much but in your eyes, the same old Seonghwa stands before you with his hair black as the midnight sky. Eyes shimmering with tears, so close to trailing down his cheeks.

You can’t stand to look at his face.

“I didn’t need a letter…” You speak.

“I didn’t need a letter to know what you felt about me."

Your voice trembles as you speak.

Your hand finds its way to his face. Cupping his soft cheeks while your fingertips touch the ends of his hair.

your face tilts as his hand traces up yours overlapping yours. He held it tight as if he’s been waiting to hold your hand forever and as if he never wanted to let it go.

"I know…"

"I wanted to say goodbye… I’m sorry.” Seonghwa spoke with his, oh so handsome voice.

“His voice… It’s different now." You think.

Not a care for his apology because it’s not his fault.

It was never his fault.

"It’s not your fault,” you say.

Your eyes shut tight as you feel tears creeping up.

…

You think…

“Till next time”

“I have to go”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“If I leave now… I want to kiss you goodbye”

You think and you think, all the while your eyes wander all over his face.

You find yourself moving closer and closer to him as he holds your hand tight.

A kiss on his temple…

Unable to pull away, your face lies on his cheeks as you feel his eyes close tightly. You feel his teardrops falling on to your face and trace down your neck.

“Stay,” He says.

A kiss on the cheek. Boundaries and unspoken feelings.

A kiss on the cheek. It makes you want more.

As if you were saying that you will be back. As if you were saying that

“If I leave now… we will see each other again.”

“I’ll be back… I promise.” You say.

He wraps his arms around you as you were about to pull away.

“If you leave now… I promise… I will find my way too you again.”

...

You think about the words he said as you look outside the car window.

Ji Yeon is at the driver’s seat. Concerned as usual.

Refreshing air is coming in as you drive past countless fields on a lonely road. You immerse in the way you felt in his arms and his comforting words that gave you butterflies.

“What are you gonna do about Wooyoung?” Ji Yeon asks breaking your thoughts while keeping her head on the road.

You run your fingertips through your hair, taking a deep breath.

“Hmm… I don’t know."

"I have to call him.”

You say with no emotion.

Ji Yeon didn’t say anything. Maybe she knew you wanted space.

The whole drive back to the hotel was quiet. Except for the sounds of horns and the city noises once you entered the highway.

One problem goes away while another creeps in.

Love is blind they say...

Maybe in another universe, we could have been together…

Maybe in another universe, he never lied to me…

Maybe in another universe, the four of us could have still been friends…

But this is the real world and If I leave now… I will find my way back to the right person.

Part 9: I’m Okay

Sitting on the passenger’s seat. You wait as you reach your hotel room, suffocating in this silence that somehow comforts you. The sky is as dark as ever, yet the stars shine through, making you hopeful despite everything that happened today.

Is it ignorant, to feel hopeful now?

Is it selfish to feel like my future is somehow going to be better from now on?

“Hmmm.”

A life without that person?

Ji Yeon is driving and you looking outside the cracked open windows. Looking at other passengers waiting to pass through traffic.

“They have no idea what happened today at the venue. They have their own lives to worry about.”

"Why do I even care about this?”

You look at Ji Yeon who is concentrating on the road.

“I’m not alone." You think.

"Despite everything that happened today… despite everything that will happen when I finally call him, I will not be alone.”

It’s hard to look around only to realize that you’re alone. But you always had Ji Yeon. The friendship you two had was rather complicated but she was always there. Like she is now. Even though it may not seem like it.

“She has her own life… Just like those passengers waiting in traffic. Each with a story to tell on their own. Mundane, Adventurous, Tragic, Exhilarating, whichever it may be… at this moment, we’re all waiting for the traffic to pass us by.

I’m not alone… I have Ji Yeon, I have Seonghwa and the rest of the world.”

Just like those people, Ji Yeon has her own story and you were glad to be a part of it.

You let out a chuckle because of these ridiculous thoughts reeling in your mind when you should be thinking about that phone call.

“Is something on my face??”

Ji Yeon asks, not taking her eyes away from the road.

“…Oh? What do you mean?” You say whist being startled and snapping out of these absurd thoughts.

“Well for one, you’re looking at my face AND laughing- is something on my face- are you thinking about weird stuff again?” Ji Yeon says while finally looking at your direction with narrowed eyebrows, after stopping the slow-moving vehicle.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WEIRD STUFF??” You ask as you look away, not being able to maintain eye contact.

“I don’t know… you think about one small thing and go off on meaningless ‘thought trains’ She tries to make air qutes with her hands while driving.

“And then you space out and STARE at things LIKE MY FACEEEE jUST nOw and THEN you start smiling like some creepy- that’s weird honey-”

You can’t believe she just said that. That she called you out like that. In disbelief, you look at Ji Yeon with your mouth wide open.

Before you know it, you both start bursting out into laughter. It echoes throughout the car and out onto the highway.

“Thank you…

For being on my side.

For being in my life.”

“Like everything, this will fade away.

Just like the waves crashing onto the words scribbled on a lonely seashore… Reality awaits to crash and take away our laughter.

But I hope we can do it again.

Laugh like everything is just fine.

Laugh like our stars are aligned, exactly how we want them to be.”

……….

You two finally reach the Hotel room after what anyone would call a quiet car ride.

You threw your phone and purse onto the bed along with yourself.

Ji Yeon placed her stuff and the car key on top of the nightstand.

“I’m gonna hit the shower, those Atinys were so damn sweaty jumping around and screaming in my ear.”

Ji Yeon says waving her hand in the air while walking into the washroom.

You let out a laugh “yeah right… Like YOU didn’t jump around and scream in MY ear”

“What do you have for Yeosang anyway? Let me guess… He’s your bias?” You say while staring on to the ceiling of the hotel room.

“Whatever.” You hear Ji Yeon say along with the sound of the shower turning on.

You were exhausted and drained of energy but you managed to sit on the edge of the bed. Your phone lays on to your side and it lights up with notifications. Notifications from meaningless advertisements and people you’d consider acquaintances. It lights up again and again as if it is inviting you to do the very thing you’ve been wanting to do when you parted ways with Seonghwa.

You hear the sound of the shower running in the background as you pick up your phone. It feels heavy. Everything… feels heavy now. The most recent phone call was from Wooyoung.

You were tired to think anymore… To deliberate whether to call or not to call him.

You take a deep breath and without a second thought, you call him. You close your eyes and open your eyes and the phone rings with Wooyoung’s name lighting up the screen.

“Wooyoung… It’s me.” You speak.

Your heart drops as you hear him say your name.

Your heart drops as you hear the waves crashing and the sound of the wind through the phone.

You know exactly where he is.

“Are you sober now?” You ask, with the most impassive voice you could muster to mask.

“How did you know-” Wooyoung stops himself realizing that you knew him better than anyone.

“So you met him… Did he tell you about it?”

“Did you figure-”

“Wooyoung…

When I hang up this phone, It’s over”

You can’t listen to his voice anymore. The voice that brought so much pain to you just a few hours ago… You want to say the things you want to say and hang up.

“I’M ending this. I’M breaking up with you… Not you…

I think I deserve at least that much.”

It’s quiet on the other side, yet you could almost hear his thoughts.

There’s no need to explain why. There is no need to explain what caused all of this. He should know that better than anyone else.

After a few seconds of silence, you hear him speak.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry doesn’t cut it.

But we’re adults now. Shouldn’t we be more mature?

We make mistakes when we are young, and carry those mistakes into adulthood.

Some people forget.

Some people forgive.

Some people grow out of them.

Is it ignorant to forgive somebody?

To forgive somebody but never want to see their face again?

Is it the “mature” thing to do?

To be okay with something that cannot be fixed?

To let go and cut ties?

To know when somebody regrets the things they’ve done?

To know that living with such regret is punishment enough for them?

For him?

The friendship, the deep-rooted bond between the four of you went above and beyond lies and secrets.

That’s what made you say…

“It’s okay.”

It’s okay because now you know.

It’s okay because maybe, he is sorry.

Because now you can end it.

And move on.

For good.

“One last thing… When I get back, I’ll come to find you…”

“Not for you… but for that letter.”

“Goodbye, Wooyoung.”

…

“When I hang up this phone, It’s over”

Words you say lingers in your mind as you lie on your bed once again.

You hear Ji Yeon turning off the shower and come out of the washroom.

“That was an awfully long shower Ji Yeon,” You say with a tiresome voice.

Ji Yeon nervously laughs and says “yea… sorry were you waiting for a long time?”

“No.. You’re just on time”

You get up and make your way into the shower.

“Hey, are you okay?…” Ji Yein stops you and asks.

“Yeah… It’s been a long day... I’m just tired.”

… … …

“Yeah… I’m okay.

Maybe it’s time to start believing those words.”

Chapter 10~

To be continued…? :)

5 notes · View notes

the-nonbinary-artsonist · 4 years

Text

Here comes a thought

Summary: Draven thinks on a bridge and meets a new friend

Warnings: Suicide, referenced abuse, death, referenced pan-phobia and ace-phobia, cutting mention (Please tell me if i have to add anything!)

------------

Draven shuddered as he breathed slowly through his mouth, looking longingly out and off the bridge. He frowned and closed his eyes, his grip on the railing tightening just a slight bit.

‘I should just get it over with, shouldn’t I?’ Draven thought grimly, leaning ever so slightly forward.

“Hey bud, whatcha doing here?” Draven flinched, gripping the railing like his only lifeline (because it was).

“ Ha-have you been there this whole t-time?” He stuttered, looking at the figure sitting a few inches away.

The person chuckled softly, voice raspy. “I’ve been here for a while buddy.” They said, tone devoid of cheeriness. They slouched a little farther into their red hoodie, watching silently as the water below rippled past. Draven took a closer look at the person beside him noticing the enormous bags under his acquaintance's eyes. The figure was also almost deathly pale, veins blue and popping.

Dravens face made a grimace, putting on his usual mask. “What do you want?” he asked, tone demanding and harsh.

The person only smiled softly, then saying in a voice that seemed like it hasn’t been used in weeks “Same thing as you my friend.” then the hoodie clad figure chuckled.

“Unless you’re here to go fishing, then we are definitely not here for the same reason.”

“My bad luck continues, the bridge I wanted to jump off is occupied. Great.” Draven replies sarcastically.

“Sorry to ruin it for you.”

“I should have seen it coming though.”

“Meh.”

It was silent for a little while, sitting in the uncomfortable silence. Draven felt the temperature drop, he silently looked over to the other on the bridge while pulling the sweater he was wearing closer to himself.

“So, who are you?” He asked somewhat hesitantly. “Moana Fear, they/them.” the newly dubbed Moana replied, rolling their neck. “How’s it hanging? Pun totally intended.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, we are here for the same reason aren’t we?” Draven said, bitterly.

“We came for the same result, not necessarily the same reason. Right?” Moana replied while stretching.

“Very poetic of you.”

“I try.”

Draven looked down, mouth twisted into a frown, his mask dropping. “I’m probably just being dramatic.”

“Everyone is dramatic at some point or another.” Moana replied, voice dry. “Doesn’t really matter to the situation now does it?”

“My reasons are stupid small things though.” Draven said, picking at the cuffs of his sleeves. “It was just getting to be too much.”

“Enough little things can and will do that my birth marked friend.” Moana replied with another chuckle.

Draven smiled sadly, sitting down next to his new companion. He looked over to them, smiling a little.

“So,” He mumbled. “What about you?”

Moana straightened a little, a smirk playing on their lips. “Oh well, global warming, society is breaking apart, no-one and nothing matters, life doesn’t have purpose, people are dicks, anxiety, depression and homophobia, you know, the usual.”

“You’re gay?” Draven asked, curious.

“Pan, but people were too busy yelling demon at me to notice.” Moana replied tiredly. “Then i actually met a pan person, but they didn’t respect me being asexual so…”

Draven laughed a little and Moana limply smiled in return.

“Do you work anywhere?” Draven asked, facing the enby.

“Technically I go to North Valley College, but I haven't gone in a while. Probably not counted as part of the student body anymore.” Moana shrugged.

“Why don’t you go?” Draven questioned.

Moana grimaced. “Nobody liked me there,and i had just almost failed all my classes, I was just too chicken to properly drop out.”

“Can’t judge you on that.” Moana suddenly leaned in, cold seeping off them while seductively arching an eyebrow. “You like coming here a lot?”

“And we are back to suicide jokes.”

“What can i say? I can’t cut them out of my life! ”

Draven let out a snort.

Moana leaned back on the railing, closing their eyes. “So what are those ‘little things’ you mentioned?” They asked, eyes staying closed.

Draven sighed dejectedly. “I’m just so tired.” He murmured. “People only judge me on appearance, and because of my stupid birthmark,eyes and piercings. People see me as something not good, something to get rid of. So why shouldn’t I leave on my own terms?”

He looked over to his hoodie clad friend, expecting to see pity like always. But no, it wasn’t pity, but understanding.

“Well… those are hardly little things in my eyes but, I know that feeling. Wearing a lot of red and an ominous hood doesn’t help me appear to others.” Moana turned and stared at Draven, eyes determined. “But I have to ask before you partake in what you set out to do. Do you want to die or stop living?”

Draven looked down at the river below, eyes dull. “I don’t know.”

“Well what day is it?” Moana asked, a smile dancing on their face.

“Saturday.”

“Perfect, why don’t you go sleep in? Maybe talk to someone, and don’t think i didn’t see that ring. Go talk to them. If they cared enough to buy you something as beautiful as that, they'd help with this.” Moana said, smiling and determined yet still tired.

Draven smiled, the image of his fiance giving him the ring pictured in his mind. He loved her so dearly, he couldn’t leave that amazing smile behind. “Thank you.” He said standing and going to the safe side of the railing.

Draven unlocked the door to his and Mals apartment, breathing in the familiar smell of home. He could barely take in a breath before he was tackled to the ground by a familiar bawling woman.

“DRAVEN MASON PINES, DON’T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!” She yells, hugging him so tightly he can barely breath.

“I won’t, I won’t.” He promises comforting her the best he can. She eventually sits up still rubbing at her eyes.

“You, me, couch, NOW.” Mal demands, pushing her partner towards the living room. Once they are settled she asks one question, with the most serious yet pleading voice Draven has ever heard her speak with.

“What made you rethink your decision?”

Draven sighs and explains what had occurred. How this kind young enby with the same plan as him convinced him to go back home. When he was done Mal was looking at him like he had grown a third eye. “What is it?”

“What did you say their name was?” She asked, tone somewhat fearful.

“Moana Fear, why do you ask?” He replied, now also a little scared.

Mal quickly pulled up her phone and typed in the name, and the way her face contorted with fear, fascination and sadness told Draven the results weren’t good. “What is it now?!”

“Draven, Moana Fear committed suicide on Train bridge in 2005.”

Draven walked across the small field of gravestones, finding the one he was looking for and placing the peach bouquet of roses down in front of it. Before he turned to walk away, he whispered an almost silent “Thank you.”

Moana Jane Fear

Beloved child, student and friend

1982-2005

“Help us in death as you have in life”

THE END

---------------

i wrote this like a year ago but i’m still proud, and i’m working on a prequel! i hope you enjoyed this mess of a story.

#Draven Fear #well his last name is pines in this but whatever #Moana Fear #Mal Kant #tw suicide #tw abuse #tw panphobia #tw acephobia #cutting mention #ghosts #idk how to do middle text on tumblr #writing

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sereisstuff · 5 years

Text

ｂｌｏｓｓｏｍ　オゾ唄 4

Intro - a soft-hearted male geisha and a poor broken musician who battle through a journey in which they explore the world through their performances.

summary - you finally performed but fate was never too kind.

genres - a very slow burn, comedy, angst and big sad

(A/N) - yes I have finally updated haha

.you nervously held the koto in your palms standing far from the stage as you glared at the unwelcome steps to your new life, holding in the cry waiting to pour from your cold eyes “I can’t wait to see the performance” the young maiko expressed as she stood nearby to your emotionless form.

unknowingly pulling you from waters you drowned yourself in, subsiding the fears for a few seconds in order for you to recollect your wandering thoughts “are you alright?” yuno asked worry coating her soft features.

she noticed the switch in your face when she dared to ask a look she perceived as nervousness or anxiety was slowly getting to you “you will do amazing I assure you” she promised, empty but still efficient.

you turned to her figure internally gasping towards her glamorous attire, black and pink flowers imprinted on her kimono as her lips dawned a heavy red colour against her white-coated features., similar to Jimin’s but less noticeable in a way “No need to worry over me miss yuno I’ll be quiet alright, you just focus on your training” you admitted through masked words.

“we’re on in a few” Jimin rushed through the tent with heavy gasps of breath pulling through to his lungs, he searched the place for his new friend, you, in hopes of seeing you before the performance “jimin” Miss Atsuko breathed a sigh of relief staring in disbelief towards the male who ignored her.

“Hey, there you are” Jimin greeted pleasingly, appreciating your mere presence. His eyes wandering around your new formal wear, his lips stretching into a smile as he ignores mama Atsuko.

“here I am” you repeated unfazed, wrapping your hands ever so tightly around your koto watching intensively as the mc made his way on to the stage preparing the crowd to witness their favoured Otoko Geisha in the flesh “you're gonna do great” jimin nudged you.

immediately after that sentence, he rushed on to the stage in small silenced steps glancing at you with a welcoming smirk shooting a wink your way, this baffled you.. in order for you to become friends with him and entirely trust the popular man he had to help you become comfortable around his presence.

you weren’t to be introduced in hopes of gaining recognition through your melodies rather than the fame your “friend” had, secretly making your way behind him further to the back where the light barely shone and your fears were masked.

before you laid your hands on the koto, you gazed forward holding in an anxiety-induced gasp watching the many favourable stares eyeing the stage with the possibility of watching the performance of their lifetime but sadly that weight had to be bared on your shoulders. curling your fingers again “you can do this” your mind thought, encouraging you to proceed.

Jimin stood in front of you form already in place for the first string to be pulled, now you must do this and there’s no backing out, breathing in a shaky breath, you shut your eyes..and played.

mama Atsuko stood further away from the stage watching you with a curious mind, the open suggestion that you weren’t so useless to this family, adamant on her obscene thoughts she stuck to the fact that you supposedly weren’t useful and one day you wouldn’t be welcome.

but all was a lie and even mama Atsuko knew one day she too would come to welcome you as her own, she had a heart of gold but as all know gold isn’t found without a groan and dedication.

you leaned back striking another string, passion oozing from both your’s and Jimin’s performance, your mind was finally in place and for a few minutes you were able to think probably under the influence of a song were the times you felt as if freedom was near.

but fear was never too far behind.J

imin’s contemporary performance made the crowd gaze in admiration endless compliments flowing from their mouths as all couldn’t wait to speak to him and most wondering who could possibly be playing behind him.

his black kimono elegantly waving through the air, gravity wasn’t known in his presence and he used the stage as his personal way of expressing his hidden emotion, so raw and passionate that he was being admired like the moon reflecting against the ocean, calming the crowd but edging them to stare more due to his flamboyant beauty.

but as you plucked the last string, opening your lids to the portal of reality staring directly towards jimin who no longer danced for the people but bowed to them with thankfulness “what a beautiful performance” the mc crowded the stage and suddenly you felt cramped again.

grabbing your koto and standing to your feet, rushing from the stage limply as your legs now felt like boiled noodles and your mind clouded in shock “you did great” Yuno whelped, throwing her arms around you as you stood in shock, even jimin who hasn’t known you for long reacted upon Yuno’s initiation.

“ah, Yuno we should be exploring the crowd now, mhh” he silently pleaded for her to release you from her hold, you so helplessly wished you could accept her warmth but failed at doing so, physical touch wasn’t at the top of your list, for all the wrong reason’s.

“oh, of course, I’ll be on my way now. see you soon y/n” she waved weaving out the door and now away from your sight, you sighed, your heart pulsating quickly and tears were well near pooling in your eyes “if only she was here to witness this?” you muttered remembering your dearly beloved sister who would have hugged you just like yuno.

Truth be told the day you lost her was the day you left behind all emotion known to man, the cruel fate of the world was struck upon you as you ran as fast as you could, forced to ignore the agonizing screams of your beloved with tears rushing down your face, and yet, the world still wanted you alive?“who was here?” Mama Atsuko interrupted, her eyes narrowing towards you shaky figure.“no one who has relevance in your life” you muttered an answer, staring blankly at the ground.

clearly, you should have been celebrating your first ever performance but you just couldn’t “clearly” Mama Atsuko sucked in a breath, as you stood like a statue.“you should be celebrating” she spat, holding her petite body composed in a shielded light, shedding a few of her angered layers to you, you gazed up, replacing your sad look with a determined one.

the past shouldn’t be chasing you and your dear sister wouldn’t smile if she saw you like this.“yes, I should be” you cracked an awkward half-assed smile, unfortunately, the feeble retired geisha grimaced raising her hands in the air refusing to see you attempt a smile “dear, it’s that way” her hands showed you the way and you rushed from the room outwards into the pathway.

A tear slipped amongst your scarlet cheeks, not your own but one of the skies, tears cascading on your form as the world felt your crumbling heart expressing your emotions knowing you couldn’t do such a deed yourself, you giggled sadly.

Grabbing your hat and you pulling the brims covering your now dishevelled look, heading towards the back of the room where you will drink sake until your worries subside, as for now the moment your living will be soon forgotten and sadly your memories will only be suppressed but you’d rather cage them in storms of alcoholic beverages rather than replay those clouded memories.

You smiled at the old woman greeting you at the door, biting the top of your lip when you entered, the strong smell alcohol comforted you as you treated it like a celebration, you stepped forward feeling a tug at your wrist.

“Ah, yes?” you turned to the old woman, her small greeting held a genuine place in your heart, examining her grey strands which complemented her skin perfectly, history dwelled in her face and she wore it proudly, you grew rather envious.

“Hello dear,” she greeted.

“H-hello” you bowed deeply in respect making her chuckle in a high pitched tone, she bent down lifting your weight weakly so you stand rooted in your spot “I dare say but your talent to play such an instrument is a gift, you nearly had me in tears” she continued, her inked out eyes turned into crescents “never in my late years had I heard the koto played so smoothly, please, for me, never stop, your gift is a treasure and I would want my grandchildren to witness it” she pleaded, her restless lips curled into a grateful smile.

You cooed, pulling your hat back as you replied “Thank you, and I would love to play for your grandchildren someday, you just wait, one day, one of your grandchildren may be playing the same as me” you didn’t know where this sudden confidence came from but something about her made your shoulders relax and your lips rest from the constant biting.

“oh .. that would make me very proud” she chuckled again, resting a hand on your shoulder.

Her smile so pure that you wished you had someone like her.“Well I must get going but please do visit some time, the old broken down home at the end of the street with a cup on its step” she bid you a goodbye as your hand immediately went up wishing for the old woman to stay for a bit longer, but she left and you sighed...again.

The cup on its step’ you rehearsed hours later with your 5th cup of sake in your palms, your head tilted down as you glared at the plain floor, for these past few weeks jimin has been more than kind to you, his endless banter with mama Atsuko brought a rigid smile to your lopsided lips.

“Stupid whore should have known her place” the loud ruckus of drunken men entered your ears, their voices awfully low, noses as red as the sun on its sets and they sniffled with crescented eyes, clearly intoxicated with something stronger than sake, you ignored them, their idiotic tones clearly not interesting you enough.

“Y/n” a voiced whispered shouted, drowning the men’s voices as they made their way closer to you, you turned, unamused.

“Yuno?” she nodded giggling, her kimono in a mess and she too as the men were was intoxicated, oh how mama Atsuko would punish her for this!” Yuno, w-what are you doing, y-your going to be -” she cut you off with a drunken giggle grabbing your cup of sake and downing it.

Her kimono sleeve lifted and you caught sight of a fresh bruise, you frowned.“I knew you cared about me” she giggled again another hiccup following close behind, wiping her lips so her red make up slid across her detailed art on her empty canvas.“What happened to your wrist?” you asked, worried.“Very…..very bad m-men” she pouted, her hands flying up in the air like an explosion.“What, men” she frowned, before breaking out into a smile, leaning in to whisper into your ear “ri-ight t-there” she pointed a lazy finger towards the men as you took a good look your eyes widened, it couldn’t be.

The slicked-back hair and the small stuble could engrave itself in your memory any day, his cruel smirk as he mimicked yunos cries.“Y-yuno, we need to go” you cried, grabbing her untainted wrist and gently ushering her out of the room unnoticed by the dazed men, Yuno cried the entire way back to the Ryokan “Yuno, please stop” you tried to get her to stop pulling, but she stopped midway, her anger now rising and before she could get a word out mama Atsuko, trudged past you gripping her hand.

“How dare you!!!”“You foolish girl!!” she screamed, her bamboo stick tightened between her fist, she ignored your presence leaving with yuno who waved goodbye to you.

Which now left you alone, as you squatted, wanting to scream. He was back. How dare he, after all, he did how could such an evil person show their face such as him.

The man who ruined your life.

#peter parker imagines #park jimin #park jimin scenarios #bts japan #BTS jimin #jimin x you #jimin scenario #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #park jimin x chubby reader #park jimin x you #Otoko giesha!jimin

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jericho-rk3k · 5 years

Text

A Fleeting Glimpse of Love (DBH: Connor/ Reader)

Author’s note: So I wrote half of this months ago but only managed to finish it now. Anyway, feedbacks are encouraged and until next time, my darlings!

Pairing: Connor x Gender neutral! Reader

Prompt: For as long as you can remember, you feel like there’s a gap in your memory. Who could it be; the one who plagues your dreams with incoherent bits and pieces of memories?

Warning: angst

— 🌹 —

Seconds stretched into hours, and hours into days when you thought of the gaping hole, which was expanding along the ticks of the clock, that your heart bore, and as if the God of Misfortune decided that their first gift for you wasn’t altruistic enough, there came those shallow depressions and faults on the surface of your memories that became a sunken cave with its wall coloured in melancholy.

The more you welcome them into your mind, the harsher their affects on you became, and the damage done to you in emotional terms was only acknowledged by you when you could finally feel the emptiness consume every bit of joy in you. Even after all these were done to you, the culprit was painstakingly yet to be found.

Ever since the injury sustained by you during the android revolution, you could feel a slight breeze in your memories which was supposed to be stacked, indicating that there was a spot somewhere along the shores of the sea of memories purposely dug by someone. The void in your heart made you feel like there was single damning piece in the entire puzzle, that was your heart, that was missing and seemingly lost in the maze of scattered emotions and memories -- damned to the point that the thought of an escape to this suffering was something that belonged to a horror film, and hope deemed an enemy of this place.

Who was it that formed this unfortunate chasm in your heart?

Who was it that shattered your masterpiece of a life that took years to paint -- who was it that made the canvas of life so barren and lifeless -- who was it that painted your walls black and white -- who was it that began all of this?

Brown.

After an unknown period of time, you unconsciously developed an attraction to the colour of earth: brown, the colour of the roots of ancient oak trees; of the chestnuts that provides an excellent, rich taste to the tongue; of the bitter, bold cacao that was yet to be tainted by the hands of humans, only to be turned into something that contradicted the originality; of the man-made strands of short hair that would dance along with the wind as if they bore some sensation of their own exhilaration and life; of the auburn tint in his eyes that spoke of great love, putting Shakespeare’s odes to a test.

His eyes.

When staring into the eyes created by the clumsy hands of humans themselves, profound, were they of gauche passion of an amateur; and yet, ever so deserving of so much love and attention that it was painful. Eyes, which on the surfaces were the barks and songs of nature that you dearly loved, and as one traveled deeper, that was to gain a deeper understanding to them, one would see the side that was touched by the silvery rays of sunlight of humanity. He was just that beguiling, and the feeling of staring into those eyes of his: heavenly.

Why? Out of all the memories of your beloved that were forcibly taken away from you, this was the one that created an abyss of sorrow that had no ends nor predictions of when it would strike you. Maybe this was because you were never really granted closure to the absence of the person who must have went through all sorts of hindrance and glory to offer them to you, and the inability to grasp even the silhouette of that person was enough to burden you with the guilt of thousands; it was as if letting something that your beloved had entrusted to you go without any vain attempt to halt its undue departure.

His love for you and only you; it amounted to the millions of fireflies during a rancorous desolate night that would guide you to a path that you have dreamed of ever since you were a child. Magical, was his love for you and only you.

By that time you were kicked out of your verdant forest of thoughts and flashbacks, you realized that you had unconsciously wrote ‘Connor’ on a piece of barren paper laying on your desk. Even if you have no recollection of when and why did you write that, you could sense a hint of intense despondency and separation of two lovers that took place sooner than what was planned by fate.

No great importance or attention was granted to the mysterious name, but after a few restless nights and unforeseen flashbacks of the blurry past that came in a tiny debris-like manner, you decided to inquire about it from your longtime best friend and colleague, who you fortunately reconciled with after the unfortunate accident resulting in the loss of certain memories, North.

“North?” you called out, your voice mildly shivering with uncertainty and fear, to which the reply was a simple ‘what’s up?’. “Do -- did... I know of someone named ‘Connor’?”

If only you had the ability to observe the tiniest actions and behavioral changes, you would have noticed the lips that trembled in hesitancy; the discomfort and worry that were etched in the delicate wrinkles that surrounded the eyes, then gradually scintillated and burst into hues of passionate woe and abnormally, relief. It was as if one was watching the play of Romeo and Juliet, only to feel the tragic tale stinging one’s heart throughout the period of time in which the prominent play took place, and the difference in the ending that was yet to shock the audience who were destined to heave a sigh in relief, as if they were blessed by a happy ending to the distressing tale.

Another twist to add to the list was the shoulders that tensed up after momentarily relaxing, “Not that I know of... why do you ask?” North replied, and only if you had noticed the sudden change in the way she articulated, however you were too busy indulging in the disappointment, and for an unsaid period of time, you let loose and was soon, once again, engulfed by the profound feeling of his absence and the void in your heart.

But by the end of the day, you were not an Android and because of that, you failed to analyze the minuscule inconsistencies in your friend’s behavior. Perhaps fate had decided that the time when you would be blessed with refills of the gaps in your memory had yet to arrive. Perhaps fate had decided it would be best if the meeting between the both of you was the last in the blurry sea of memories. Perhaps you had forever lost his identity, and the chance for new memories to be created deemed futile.

At times when the clock struck twelve and when the moon rose proudly above the dark sky, you laid in bed, listening to the occasional sounds of fabric and comforter ruffling according to your restless tosses and turns, and as vigorous as your movements, your mind was tempestuous with indecisive thoughts and flashes of incorigible scenes before your eyes. Over and over again, you wondered and pondered about him, and whether he was dealing with the consequences similar to yours. Did he trouble himself as much as you did over the absence of one another? A thousand of questions risen and demanded to be answered but by the end of the day, a mystery and fruitless questioning were all they ever were.

Contrary to your expectations, your line of work refused you to dwell on seemingly pointless conceptions, and before you knew it, you were entangled with the police as one of the higher ups at the place of your work was accused of money laundering and scamming, and occasionally, you were called into for questioning. Despite the process being mentally and physically exhausting, you were intrigued by one of the Androids that was stationed to the case.

Brown eyes and brown hair that seemed so familiar to you, and yet, the icy blue eyes and bitter frown that looked so... strange to you, as if they were supposed to be something else— something different; perhaps it was the colour of the eyes or the way the corners of the eyes were sloped and the warmth or lack thereof from the lips. How could someone looked so familiar yet so peculiar to you?

RK900.

That was everything you knew about him, other than the fact that he worked alongside the police and was partnered with a man named Gavin Reed. So far you hadn’t made the attempt to gain some sort of answer to this mystery, and often at night, you would think otherwise. Maybe you should let curiosity take over your logical side once in a while.

Still, despite your nonexistent efforts, your eyes would often travel towards the direction of the wordless man standing beside his human mentor whenever you were bought into question. As sneaky as you thought you were, the Android was far more adept and skilled than you would have expected and had noticed your interest in him ever since day one, hilariously, but chose not to comment on the fact. That was, until one particular day when he seemed to make an abrupt decision out of nowhere to talk to you.

“Y/N,” he called out, his voice deep as the ocean, smooth as silk and as cold as the Artic, one day just as you were leaving your work building. You may not know or may never know but he had been waiting for you hours long before the end of your work hour for some reason, and despite looking as composed as a man who has reached the highest level of understanding as life, he was as curious as you were. His feelings of interest and inquisitiveness were in contrary to what he was programmed to do; perhaps they were the result from being taught by his older model.

“RK900,” you replied quite dully although you would be lying if you said you weren’t shocked at his sudden appearance. The case involving your accused superior was over recently and there shouldn’t be any reason for the two of you to meet again, right?

“I... I noticed your occasional stares directed at me, Y/N,” he stated, sounding so bitter and cold towards the world yet quite nervous that he refused to look at you. After all, you were someone unique which he learnt from him. “I know I remind you of someone,” he continued, and as soon as he finished the sentence, your composure began to eat itself and you were, once again, disturbed and bemused.

“Connor. RK800. #313 248 317. Produced in August,3038. You met him months before the final Android Revolution,” he began, his eyes occasionally flicking towards you to check your response to the bombardment of information. Surely, from the way your lips quiver and hands tremble, he knew that you were starting to remember something. He could certainly thank himself for making the decision to come to you on that day out of his own will. Things were bound to end tragically but he thought that you at least deserved to be filled of the void in your memories and heart.

“The two of you bonded rather quickly and... things happened shortly afterwards,” he continued, referring to the time you fell in love with the Android first disregarding the situation and tension between the two races at that time. At this point, he was hesitant to continue since he knew what happened afterwards.

“I... I...,” you stuttered, desperately racking through your disorganized thoughts jumbled with recovering memories for something to say. Connor. Connor. Connor. RK800. The Android who evacuated you from the riot. The same Android who captured your heart with his corky and unoriginal attempts at jokes and adorable behavior unexpected from an Android of high caliber such as him.

“Ah... how could I forget him,” you laughed bitterly as you recalled the time you spent together with you tagging along him and Hank as an eager journalist. You remembered the way you two bonded and the amusing way he worried about the risks that came with being a journalist. Despite his concerns, you continued with the job and in the end, it was your foolish drive and carelessness that led you towards your demise; with you mortally wounded due to a failed attempt to photograph the confrontation between Marcus and the humans.

Sure, you were fond of the sweet memories that came first but you weren’t so certain about what was coming at the end. Your legs were wobbling like an earthquake was just beneath the very ground you stood on, so you had to take a deep breath and take a seat on a bench bellow a nearby tree. The man near you followed suit and sat awkwardly beside you, making sure to leave a generous quantity of space between you two. Although he knew how solemn and troubled you were, he was unsure on what to do; whether to act as himself and stay still or do something according to what he would have done.

“Blood,” you mumbled, desperately wiping the hot, stinging tears streaming down your face before covering your face with her hands, plopping your elbows down on your thighs. You finally remembered, and as much as your head throbbed painfully, the excruciating pain in your chest was something else. It was simply heart-wrenching and suffocating, as if you were buried 6 feet below underneath all the memories and pain, guilt and self-blame.

Blood. The sanguine red liquid was everywhere, as you recalled, and it was yours that leaking from the wound on your head from the collision before with the concrete ground. However, you wished and wished that it was only your blood there, but at last, your pleas and cries for help went unheard. You knew and remembered the weight on your body as you laid on the ground, barely conscious but sheltered and protected from the lifeless body above you. The cold, bitter blue liquid dripped onto you from the gunshot on his forehead, and before you knew it, the last thing you saw before you blacked out flashed before your eyes at a painfully slow rate.

“Oh god... please, no, please tell me it was all a dream,” you begged to no one particularly as you broke down once again. The pain of his absence and lack of final goodbyes devoured your mentality, and the guilt and blame on no one but you clung onto you with their malicious, poisonous long claws that dug deeply into your heart.

You hoped that his lifeless eyes were the last thing that you saw. You hoped that the reality was something different. You hoped... only if you hadn’t made the stupid decision that almost took your life... only if you had listened to him... only if he was alive now. Only if you could convince yourself that things didn’t turn out the way it did. Only if you could turn back time and... and save his life. So many only ifs and so much pain; it was almost unbearable; the feeling of having somewhat brought your beloved to their demise was damning, and you felt like you couldn’t ever forgive yourself for not paying heed to his warnings.

But most of all, you cursed yourself for having the audacity to forget almost everything about him. Perhaps you wouldn’t be suffering if you hadn’t learnt about him; however, you still felt it wasn’t right for you to forget someone who sacrificed himself for you and only you.

‘If he was only here,’ you told yourself, ‘I would tell him how much I love and treasure him and never let him go.’ Only that was impossible now that he was gone definitely. He wasn’t here anymore to tell you how much you mattered to him; he wasn’t here anymore to tell you jokes that he googled on his search engine; he wasn’t here to make you smile and laugh and cherish you. One moment he was here and the next, he was gone.

“I am so sorry... Connor,” you cried uncontrollably, wanting to rip your heart at this moment as it thumped painfully and rapidly within your chest which suffocated and strangled you from within. Your cries and screams resonated throughout the neighborhood as you grieved and grieved, and desperately wished for end to these mournful feelings.

“Y/N,” the man beside you whispered gently, reaching out to grab your hand tightly to try to reassure you. The LED on his forehead whirled into a brilliant yellow as several thoughts and memories flowed through his mind, but the most prominent emotion was sorrow and detachment as he knew that these memories didn’t belong to him. It had belonged to the man you had dearly adored and loved you. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you how his predecessor passed— by desperately transferring his memories into the system and screaming your name over and over again until his voice broke and distorted into that of a horror; slow and robotic and devoid of life.

“He would have wanted you to move on, Y/N,” he said before pulling you in for a hug, surprising yourself and himself as he was unsure if that action was based on his own will or Connor’s memories. Nonetheless, the two of you stayed locked in that embrace for a long time before the agony and despair in you began to subside. When you emerged from the hug, you were noticeably calmer yet still pained to the core.

“Thank you for coming here to tell me,” you said emotionlessly and numbly with a heavy sigh, staring at your own feet and feeling your nails digging into your palm as you tried to manage your composure.

“It’s alright... everything will be okay, Y/N.” He said with a smile that seemed like a rainbow after a heavy downpour for you. It was flamboyant and abundant of emotions and familiarity. You bit your lips at the sight as you felt tears threatening to fall once again. He looked so much like him and reminded you so much of him that it stung a bit.

At the end of the day, your final wish was to be able to meet him again one day, no matter the place. Even if the time spent together was transient, it was heavenly and you were grateful.

‘I love you, Y/N.

Love,

Connor.’

#reader insert #connor x reader #dbh connor x reader #dbh fanfic #dbh fanfiction #detroit become human #detroit become human fanfiction #angst #genderneutralreader #male!reader #female!reader #rk800 #detroit: become human

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