#i wasnt there for any of him being alive so hes just a weird little guy

[ganondoodle]

(totk rant)

something i dont know if i have ranted about specifically is .... how i hate how little defined the sonau (zonai) magic is

like i get it, its magic, but it feels like it can do anything when the idiot plot demands and cant when it doesnt for no good reason, just like the enigma stones (secret stones)

(its not that each little thing is a problem, i dont need everything single thing explained, but that the whole mess of sonau magic, enigma stone magic and elemental magic feels like .. a mess, and a stupid mess at that! you dont know what is what and what soemthing can and cant do and that leads to a bad kind of confusion, one that makes it feel like there are no rules except when the plot demands it)

(also i will forever refuse to call it sonau 'tech', bc its not, its some vaguely stone textured pieces that do a thing when hit or pieces floating around some vague magic bs, theres no cogs, not maschinery, nothing that makes you feel its got an internal mechanism like the shiekah tech had-- worst part being they had planned sonau bs to be more magic than 'tech' but then, as i previously ranted about, decided to make it 'so players can immedaitely know what it does just by looking at it' and then decided they still needed to explain to you what the obvious fan thing does 5 times over when you already learned it on the literal tutorial ALSO ITS A FAN- WHAT IS THERE TO TEACH ME ABOUT IT- ... wrong post .. anyway)

sonau magic, apparently, can, replace an entire living persons arm that was 'beyond repair', when the person giving their arm IS ALREADY A GHOST (or dead for that matter, yes you can argue its the part of his arm that was left over at that point but .... that also leaves the question how the hell he could suddendly, conventiently, move that arm part independendly to catch link, when it flopped over limply a second ago .. and was also able to .. see? how would he catch him otherwise .. but only after it flopped over .. for no apparent reason too, its not like zelda picked the stone right off it or soemthing-- ALSO why does it not look like it then, like its long nailed creepy thing, but instead his perfectly alived arm argh)-

teleport people to places that have moved kilometers away from where it originally was (as in, rauru teleporting link via dismembered arm part train to the garden of time that was not in the sky last he remembered) but ..only like that?? i guess?? since no one else ever teleports via sonau magic, its always shiekah stuff that teleports except for this one instance (and it cant be it just went back to raurus ghost bc .. he acts like he just woke up as a ghost too so he couldnt have been ghost chilling in the garden of time either ....... why wasnt his ghostly version attached to his slightly less ghostly arm part anyway .....)

lift entire pieces of land into the sky i guess ?? (off screen ... somehow .... for no reason ............ after all the sonau that were there were dead (who did that?? the constructs??????????) and no scar left on the surface either)

make shield, once rauru, otherwise minerubot (we dont know if either did that in the og fight with ganondorf since ... we dont get to see ANYTHING of that 'fight' i am BITING this game in a non sexy way)

let you swim upwards and through ANY amount of earth (only link ever does it)

glue literally anything to anything (unless you shake it too hard) and have that glue actully make the glued together pieces work together as if there was a mechanism connecting it (only link ever does it like that, other NPCs are shown to be able to get pieces to work together without it ... and with no explanation either how THAT works, sicne there is no mechanism in anything??) (fuse is just the same glue glued into an extra ability slot, its not different in any means)

can ALSO glue stuff to the literal MASTERSWORD?? which, if i can be honest, i really dont like, idk, the mastersword itself being fused to some random other material and getting those weird green symbols on it while even changing its form temporarily when you pull it out?? idk, that feels like desecrating an holy object to me (and yet again .. sonau stuff in everything and everywhere ..)

reverse time on objects and generally copy other peoples abilities?? its not the stones since link doesnt have one, its like .. built into rauru bracelet even, thats kinda weird, what do you mean his bracelet is perfectly made for housing that exact number of peoples abilities- or ghost copies for that matter O.o

grab someones heart and seal it in a condition between life and death for THOUSANDS of years while dissolving its wielder ??? i would consider it being influenced by rauru light powers (which is still stupid to give to him of all people) having sealing capabilities towards "evil", but when he does it its really only typically sonau magic stuff, green glow, the symbols, the spiral (... why IS it a spiral, did he turn himself into a less stupid version of the shrines? lol)

(now theres things that overlap with the engima stones, but since its all such a mess i cant tell what part is strictly sonau magic bs and what is magic pebble bs and what is just kinda ... both)

stripping people of their clothes and teleporting to weird dream like dimension tm (end of game)

bringing back ghosts (rauru did the oh no im ghost gone now too which is why i cant tell you anything you should know link looooooool- whoops he back) sonia was never even shown as a ghost before (why? .. no seriously, why? you cant me she didnt have any regrets when she died? why does everyone get a ghost like its nothing but not sonia .. until that point .. which is probably just so she can hold hands with rauru and fuck off again, we wouldnt want her around when rauru isnt, the most importnatest coolestest guy to ever kingexist )

reverse irreversible transformations via stone (you can, uwu its time powersss!! me all you want it sucks in every aspect and i will not be argued with)

restore someone 'beyond repair' arm even when it was not fully purified as it was implied to be necessary at the start- and also just .. take away the arm that got transplanted? (games allergic to consequences)

(more stone than sonau but .. i feel like those two are inherently linked anyway)

"enhance" peoples already existing magic abilities- which .. isnt really true? like that sounds like a lie bc except for giant rauru laser he uses only once, no one seems to actually use it like that, speaking of which

giant laserbeams capable of taking out an entire family of moldugas

my point being, like i talked about before, is that all of the other people with stones, we either dont get to see what they can do bc they just get it and are only shown standing around doing nothing giving no example of its effect (old sages) or the new sages creating copies of themselves that they give to you, which i would argue, is not enhancing their abilties, bc their ability is very element specific, not the shiekahs copy game, yes their ghost houses their ability but .. thats not 'enhancing' that just a double- plus, and this drives me mad, THEIR GHOSTS GO AWAY WHEN THE REAL ONE IS AROUND, which defeats even the idea of it being stronger just bc there two of each now, so they get nothing and you get a ghost copy if they arent around themselves which is not something i would call "enhancing" (its so gamey .... it only exists like that so you get shitty companions with those abilities in the game and when they are around dont get double the already shitty way of activating them.. and i hate it, i hate how gamey it is, you can make things work without it feeling THIS gamey)

ooooor, are just a set piece, like sonia, who doesnt use her stone for anything, bc she cant have been too weak on her own to time reverse a single cup of tea now can she (i wouldnt put it past them)

the only other time it seems to work as it was said is with ganondorf, bc he had miasma (gloom ... ) powers before and just kinda .. miasmad himself up more

time travel! somehow!! even though the traveling person has not shown any time powers before that point, has no idea what the stone is or how to use it, and no idea where to go, nor to think of going there even in panic (which is something i would have accepted, like .. idk atreus travel via the marbles in god of war, how he thinks of home and travels to his old home instead of where he meant to go, thats a neat twist!) (also .. sonia is the one whos lived all her life with time powers and, supposedly, acts like a mentor to zelda (if you can count that one scene where she says some vague -cheer up- stuff) .. what if sonia could time travel, bc she actually knew how to use it, and went into the future to warn them or lead them into the right direction .. already thinking of better things again ..)

stones can also turn people into eternal, immortal (lie, you can kill dragondorf) dragons, permanently (also a lie, zelda is reversed, and 'she was just sleeping uwu', stone she ate is ALSO back) (dragons being something i thought of being ethereal, untouchable and timeless sacred beings you shouldnt try to understand or control- but no, sonaus stupid stones can just turn people into them and its only used for one cool set piece and a fake emotional hook, also a shitty way to bring zelda back into the future all fine and dandy bc her learning to control her sudden new time powers well enough to travel back on her own would have been too much agency for our little maiden prize- the whole dragon thing also feel like desecrating dragons to me)

(probably more im forgetting here lol)

in the end, what my problem is that its TOO much and TOO messy, theres no lines and all the rules told to you are proven wrong with no input from you or even hint at it being possible and no logical lines to it

like sure, in botw the shiekah tech and the encient energy is also rather vague, but you get a sense of what it is, its magic that powers their tech! and it doesnt go beyond that (unlike the sonau stuff which is .. both made AND powered by sonanium?? which feels a little ... stupid) and the people sometiems had some elemental magic, like urbosa and her lightning etc in totk its just all over the place, all the things work together in vague ways and seem like they can both do everything and nothing, which leaves you with an unsatisfying confusion and possible frustration (if you are me, who cares too much) instead of a intrigued curiousity (like i had with the ancient energy from botw) that can still feel like you not knowing the answer too doesnt distract from anything, its feels plausible on its own-

... hey, been some time since i got to rant in long form! take everything with a few more grains of salt than usually, i still have covid :/

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Todoroki Siblings Dynamic

I would like to talk about dynamic between Todoroki siblings.

Fuyumi & Natsuo;

I think Fuyumi and Natsuo are each other’s biggest emotional support. Natsuo was abandonded by his father since birth and his mother was hard to reach because she later busy with raising and protecting Shouto but Fuyumi was there for there. She always unconditionally love him. She take care of him. She was less like big sister but most like mother figure for him. And for Fuyumi too, she was most likely more comfortable with Natsuo than she is with other members of family. Her father is out of reach, her mother is in pain, her big brother is in pain and his little brother is in pain. She feels guilty for not being able to do anything for their pain but she doesnt have to feel that way with Natsuo.

Not only Fuyumi and Natsuo shared emotional connection and they both feel guilty for not doing enough for their family and again, other members of family were out of reach. Endeavour abandonded them. Their mother was in hospital. Touya died. Shouto wasnt allowed to be close to them. This is why they only had each others for long time. And we can see how they both try to support each others. Fuyumi makes sure that Natsuo having outside life and tell him ‘he shouldnt compare his pain with others because he was in pain too’ in novel and Natsuo forces himself to join family dinners for the sake of his sister.

Fuyumi & Shouto;

Shouto wasnt allowed to interact with his siblings so he doesnt really relationship with any of them but once again, Fuyumi was a lot like mother/sister type of figure for him, just like Natsuo. (Her personality is also like Deku). Fuyumi feels guilty for not being able to protect his little brother, she feels like he is her responsibility, just like how she feels for Natsuo. As if she has to take care of them and protect them as big sister. Its her mission. She stays at home for the sake of Shouto and try to help him from certain distance. Their relationship is natural. Shouto doesnt have any negative feelings for him but he (just like Natsuo) has the youngest siblings/spoiled child energy around her. Their relationship is improving.

Touya & Natsuo;

Touya wasnt happy when Natsuo was born because he was born to replace him so he didnt like him at first but Natsuo being abandonded, just like him, most likely the reason Touya felt relate to him and of course Natsuo’s kind nature. Despite the fact that his little brother is bigger than him, instead of feeling insecure, he still felt more comfortable around him tells a lot.

It is mentioned that Touya and Natsuo were close and Touya would cry on his shoulders. They were a lot like friends but it is actually weird, if we think about it and here’s why; Touya is the oldest and Natsuo is 5 years younger than him. It is really wierd that 13 yeard old seeing 8 years old as equal which is another proof that Touya was mentally regressing. Not just his psychical condition but his mental state didnt improve so instead of his 12 years old sister, he felt more emotionally close to his 8 years old brother who most likely doesnt even udnerstand a lot of things that his big brother was talking about. The age gap is too big for them to be equal and Natsuo (despite being the younger one) has to be the one ‘emotional support’ for his big brother is actually messed up. For Natsuo, his big sister was like a mother who take care of him and his big brother is someone he most likely looks up to and he is the one who has to take care of his big brother. Once again, all of these shows how broken Touya was.

Of course, Touya’s death hit Natsuo a lot. He felt guilty for not really listening his brother and not doing something for him. This is became the reason he cant ever forgive his father, not because his father abandonded him but because what happenned to Touya. In novel, he mentioned that he was too busy for thinking his dead brother that he couldnt focus on alive ones (Shouto etc).

Note; Touya felt ignored by his family and later died and turned into Dabi. I dont think Dabi targetted Natsuo, he couldnt know that Natsupo would be there since he is rarely at home. It was concidence that Natsuo was attacked. Dabi’s mission is to destroy Endeavour, not really his family. Actually i think he is ignoring them on purpose because they ignored his pain when he was child too.

Natsuo & Shouto;

At first, Natsuo also felt jeolous of Shouto because it lead Rei to neglect her children but it mentioned in novel that he changed his perspective when Shouto got hurted by boiling water, he said he couldnt forget Shouto's screams from that night and feel guilty for not doing something for him (kinda edit). Besides that, there is not much to say about their relationship since they didnt interact much. Shouto wasnt allowed to interact  with them and also Natsuo were dealing with grief of Touya and he most likely wanted to be far away from Endeavour as much as possible which means staying away from Shouto too. Natsuo feeling guilty for not being able to protect Shouto but Shouto doesnt mind. Despite not having much interaction, they also have common thoughts about their family. They both dont blame their mother and want to help her. They both view Fuyumi as sister/mother figure and act like spoiled children aound her. They both know who to blame, Endeavour, for the pain of their family. They both dont want to do much with him and try to endure him for their mother and big sister. They both used to look up to Touya (I think Shouto kinda looked up to him too, since he is the oldest). They both kinda healthiely and childishly hate their father. They are similar about a lof ot things and they both are kind natured so they will get along well. Their relationship is improving.

Touya & Shouto;

I mentioned about their relationship in here. They both have so many common points. Literally written to be parallels. Whether they are too opposite or too similar. They were complete strangers but they already have a lot of complicated feelings about each others because of this.

Touya idolized Endeavour and view him as creator of him but this broke him and lead him to destroy him. Shouto hated his father and viewed him as monster but later seeing him ‘change’ lead him to give him a chance. Touya saw his mother as guilty too for failing him. Shouto only view her as victim, even blamed himself for her pain. Touya felt like his siblings failed him but Shouto didnt think about that before since he never really interacted with them, he didnt much thoughts about it. Touya questioned the society of heroes and system that lead Endeavour get away while Shouto only view his father as problem. They both too similar and too opposite, dealing with similar issues which is why they see theirselves in each others and they really dont know how to deal with it.

They both meant to come to and understanding so they both can heal from their traumas and be a true heroes they both always desired to be.

Touya & Fuyumi;

I think this relationship is underrated. They have kinda twin energy. (Well, Touya is like this with every sibling of him, lol).Touya and Fuyumi are polar opposite which makes sense because siblings shows similar type of behavours with opposite personalities since they need to balance each others. Touya was intense, he is the truthteller over and over, in every single moment he would have to talk about his issues while Fuyumi is peacekeeper, she is silent and run away from her issues to that she could keep the peace even it is fake. Which means she would have to ignore Touya too which is why Touya didnt feel close to her and they both didnt but i do believe that they love each others. Fuyumi is still Fuyumi-chan to him, his little sister no matter what. She would call him out to play with him so he wouldnt feel left out. Fuyumi’s relationship with Touya is different than she has with Natsuo and Shouto because she doesnt know how to reach out to him. She play the mother/big sister role for her brothers and she thinks she has to take care of them and protect them and this is the best role she knows but she cant do that with Touya since he is the oldest.

For both Touya and Fuyumi, they thought their family was normal at first. Touya thought training was normal, Fuyumi thought the way her father distance from her is normal. But Touya found out the truth after he was abandonded and he called out his parents for it. For Fuyumi who is just have to watch all of these, her closing eyes and ears is her trauma response, just like Touya who cant hold his intense emotions keep inside. They both loved Endeavour once and gave him many chances. Fuyumi wants to forgive him for her sake but for Touya, for Dabi, it is not even about forgiveness anymore, it passed that point years ago. Years later, Fuyumi wants their broken family to turn into normal ones but she is doing it without actually adressing the problems while Dabi is constantly reminding what is the problem. Well, Fuyumi cant move on if she doesnt adress the problem and Dabi cant really adress the problem and heal without eventually moving on.

And in the end, they both need to come to an understanding. Fuyumi should understand that their family will never be normal but at least she has her family and it is enough. She shouldnt force them to be the family she imagined while Dabi also eventually in the end has to respect other family members’s desire to forgive. I think they both can do that with each others and their family. Because they love each others. Once upon a time, they were the besties, before everything went worse. I cant wait to see them getting over their problems together.

They all have interesting interactions as inviduals. I hope they hang out together at the end. They deserve to be happy together.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

The Umbrella Academy season 2 episode 2

Oh I KNEW I hadn't seen the last of her

I don't trust death or seemingly fatal injuries on this show to mean I stop seeing a character. I mean, look at Ben. Dude died forever ago and he's still around

Oh hey! It's the fish dude! Doesn't Five murder this Goldfish?

A fish smoking. I- sure, why not

Nah, Herb, that was a good one, you should laugh!

"I took a bullet in the head for this company!" "And we thank you for your service" this is real and hitting me in ways I can't fully articulate.

This lady is just trying to be nice! She was the same with Five, and both he and the Handler are so mean to her!

Luther DOES have a point, Five IS always saying that

Lutherrrr

Five is saying that HE needs you, you dumb ass

Is that Carl? Thank you subtitles

"Dad should've left him on the moon" LOL

Nah, the sentiment is there even if the words themselves are morbid

Wait I just realized something. In the newspaper article, Diego has s1 length hair. And he said he was in there for 75 days. His hair? Should not be this long

"You know the other window was open, right?" Says the man that jumped through a window instead of just checking to see if the door was locked (it wasnt)

He doesn't know she doesn't have her memories

Does her husband know about her rumor ability?

The fuck is that shit? Cause it's not milk. Is it giving them some weird ability or something? Does it keep them alive?

"Imagine batman, then aim lower" this season keeps making me laugh in delight so far, five is so funny

Five has just decided to trust this guy, seeing him as harmless. I haven't gotten any inclination from him that he's not what he appears, but he could still have a role in the apocalypse because he's not what he was supposed to be in the original time line

I mean, his father is dead. But, yeah, he has issues, no doubt

"Because he's an idiot" "who the hell are you" "Hi, I'm his loving brother" Five is a delight this season so far

Im hitting all these racist fucks with cars in my mind

So many of the sibilings are just soooo close to meeting but they arenttttt

Klaus meeting her husband! I really like Ray so far he seems like a really great guy

Oh Klaus, back them up, fight for them, discover your sister, comeon my guy

Lila fucking painting Elliots toenails while he's bound and gagged, oh my god

Luther, I swear to fucking god if you fuck this up

LUTHER DONT YOU DARE

Luther let's his fucking fear control him and I'm beating him with hammers and frying pans

SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS SHES NOT A FUCKING THREAT YOU FUCK, SHES PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK WITH A NONVERBAL CHILD SHES HELPING TAKE CARE OF, WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS "DANGER"

You are right! She shouldn't be the one to apologize! She was manipulated and hurting and she doesn't know who she is and she's your SISTER, who you obviously do still love you fuck, so don't fucking do this

Im confused now. Cause the things he's saying? Good! Excellent! Yes! BUT HE HAS THE GUN AT A MOMENTS NOTICE

...okay imma rewatch this scene now while not thinking the worst of him

...alright so I may have over reacted a bit and I now feel bad about that. In my defense, he had his hand on a cocked gun ready to be fired at her for the majority of that touching little speech, and considering the last time he said gentle things like that to her he choked her out and threw her in a cage, I feel justified in being suspicious as hell

Well these guys are massive freaks

So I had a thought last night: How did Hazel know about the world ending in 10 days? He claimed the agency was gone but clearly it ISNT so what's the truth?

Leave Vanya alone you fucks (them going after her is going to re reawaken her powers isn't it)

Okay, so no, her husband doesn't know

Careful Diego

Okay but is this their shitstain of a father or is it older Five? Alright well that instantly got answered

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

[anon-wilford]

TRICK OR TREAT !!!!

omg hi thank u! I wasnt sure what to do as am ccurently already working on two art pieces but not smth I can post to tumblr (I think) but I remembered this writers wip! hermitcraft angst incomming, with Evil X. Pain.

Pain is the only comfort Evil X Has. The little healthy tissue still to succumb to the void cold touch, screaming and begging for warmth, sending waves of agony up his arms. It's ironic that it feels like touching hot oil on a pan. His feet's no better either, but they're holding up better. At least that's what he hopes. He hopes that they're not just too far away from his heart for his body to have given up on them. Nausea forces its way to his stomach by the thought of his feet being black, frozen, and cold, to the point they've gone numb. He tells himself that the slight weird tingling sensation pushing its way up his legs means something else. But he doesn't dare look to confirm that. He gave up screaming a long time ago. The angry insults could have simply lasted an hour, or a day. Or several for all he knows. He's unsure if Time is ticking by agonizingly slow, or going by faster due to the lack of general stimuli, other than watch the few particles of the void rush by him, almost as if he was falling.

Falling...or floating for eternity. He's pretty sure he's falling. Just the way his stomach churns at every movement, like going over the peak of a roller coaster, down. Yet nothing around him would confirm that he was. No wind is whipping past him, screaming in his ears. No hair flailing wildly as the effects of Gravity takes its effect. No resistance of his limbs due to the natural force. Maybe he's not, the metal around his wrists and ankles to keep him from entering servers, worlds or the central hub in general, suggests he's chanied up, but there's not much here to chain him to, he supposes. He cant assume the magic ingrained in the metal would do much if he was falling. But

The feeling of slowly slipping further, and further. Deeper. Just his guts tensing and with a sharp cold energetic pain at every flinch, suggests his assumptions are correct.

His throat feels sore. Every swallow, cough or even breath feels like swallowing shards of glass. His thrasing and screaming had taken it's toll, ripping the inside of his throat open, littered with sores. Every heave his lungs crave, that his throat is forced through, screaming at him to let it rest, the infalmed irritated tissue fighting his very want to stay alive, sending waves of tears prickling and itching to fall. If he had any left to shed, that is. He guesses that he's too dehydrated to cry. Being in the void might pause several of his bodily functions, but it's mercy only extents so far. The tears he shed wont come back. His stomach's still empty. He's still running on fumes. And you can still wither away and die. It's not a time bubble. He's not sure if that's a curse or a blessing. Probably a blessing. It would be agony to be consicous till the end of time. Though still far from generous. Never forgiving the poor souls that's send into it's embrace. Most take forgranted how quick the death would be, in some- if not most- circumstances. Falling off an end island, falling through a glitched hole in the world. The gravity letting you slip, like breaking through water's surface tension, but scaled a hundred-fold, is what harms. The pop of of the void tearing you from the egde of your world, tearing you out from it's force's reach, like two siblings fighting over a toy. Killing you. Tearing you apart and in the end, nobody wins. Both crying over the loss of their precious toy. Though if given to the void. If you're send there intentionally. If someone negotiates with the worlds code, like writing a command, lessening the whiplash... you die from your body not being made to live there.

All he hears is the internal turmoil and the void's singing. The ringing in his ears almost resembling a tune if you listen for long enough. Attempting to soothe you, before the high-pitched ringing stabs your ear's inner organs like a million tiny needles, slowly yet surely digging everything out.

It feels like years have passed since he last saw his brother. Well, clone? Well, he himself is the clone. Xisuma is most likely the original. No matter how simillar he looked, he always stood out. He doesn't mind that, of course. That's what he tells himself at least. It's good to stand out, be different, not blend in with all the normies living their plain boring life, talking about their unitneresting lives. Their words tasts like boring plain bread left out on the counter for too long.

...and look what that got him...

A one way ticket to the void.

Handed to him on a silver platter by someone he once called his brother. Whom he had shared most of his life with, walking along side eachother. He never thought their roads parting ways would have lead him here.

The forgiveness he had once teased his brother for being too generous for giving so easily, is what he has been begging to receive for the past... Few years, most likely. Yet he remembers that spiteful, hurtful, look his brother had given him before the darkness of the void had embraced him.

At first he despised his brother for sending him here. Screaming about how Xisuma himself had talked and thought how unforgiving the void is. How no human being deserve such a slow and torturous death.

But Evil X is just a clone after all. Just another number. A duplicate, a fake. And the worst part is, that he's a terrible duplicate at that. Meant to be so much greater than whatever he had become. Or at least, that's what he felt was assumed of the situation. He rose so high, ignoring the promise of the inevitable fall being even harder than his success, plummeting and dragging it down with him. And oh, how ugly his fall was. Slow and agonizing.

It's ironic, isn't it? That this is how he dies. Falling slowly in the void.

At least he'll die the way he lived, if that means anything. Probably doesn't. He hope they didn't forget him. He hopes that the time that has passed, is time spent warming Xisumas cold shoulder. Yet he's sure they both know deep down that this is what he deserves. He deserves to slowly lose his senses. Slowly have his person, his soul, his very core wither away. He deserves the cold biting away at his body, circling his heart still pumping out the warm blood, like a predator seeking the warm flesh of it's prey. Seeking to suffocate any sign of warmth in its territory. He can feel the last bit of life draining from him, but he's too cold, too tired to fight it. And he knows it's utterly useless. The exhaustion is overwhelming. His eye's are heavy. He can feel his eyelids slip. His muscles loosing the energy to keep themselves together. He can feel the exposed skin on his face crack from the dry cold, blood seeping from his face. He really should have kept his helmet on and not chugged it as hard as he could, never to be seen again. Maybe it would have kept him alive long enough for his pleas of forgiveness to reach Xisuma's heart. The only warmth left in him is the blood seeping through his cracking skin across his corehead, lips and cheeks. He hoped that at the very least he would die in battle, with fellow warriors by his side to comfort him with the promise of vengance and victory; or someplace where he gets to say goodbye to mothernature. Hoping to die blissfully lulled to sleep in her lovingly warm embrace, with the beauty of the flowers, trees and animals she created and allows to live and die in her embrace with a promise of peace.

As his eyes close, he can feel a surge rush through his body.

And everything goes black. Everything disappears. He no longer feels the weight of his armor, the weight of breathing.

[ratcandy]

also whats weird is like, that mushroom gotta be like ATTACHED to his brain?? no way he doesnt have brain damage from that. also its not hard to imagine that with all his intense mushroom use, that he'd have some sort of substance use disorder. and he is, suddenly, in a DEATH CULT. actually. i dont feel like anyone talks about the last part. ?? doesnt anyone wonder how hard it would be to adjust just suddenly. being in a cult? we dont really know how his life was before but if he wasnt in a cult beforehand then id imagine all the Cult Stuff would be at least a little uncomfortable.

I guess it would depend to what extent we're leaning into the parasite actually being a cordycep. Because if we're going full throttle on that, teeechnically cordyceps don't attach to the brain at all and only control the musculature; hence why I always hc'd that there's two different mushrooms involved, with the menticide doing the brain fuckery and the cordycep doing. The everything else

But at the same time it could very well just be advanced cordycep and we can make up whatever rules we want ! But YES, regardless, there is some brain nonsense happening that would ABSOLUTELY have everlasting effects on this ant. Not to mention if the cordyceps DID have control of his muscular system, then his entire body has got to be feeling the effects of it as well.

So he's here, in a death cult, probably having to re-learn how to walk and suffering extreme withdrawal symptoms as well as memory loss.

ANd no nobody ever considers the full ramifications of the death cult because everybody is a coward and won't consider how horrifying cults actually are!!!!!! And to be a disabled old man suddenly thrust into a scary ass scenario where people are being sacrificed and brought back to life around you while you can't even remember how old you are or where you've been the past few years because time was fucked while you were Shroomed, it HAS to be HORRIFYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But at the same time it really just works out from a cultist perspective. He's already isolated, vulnerable, and probably only halfway lucid at any given point. He'd be extremely easy to manipulate and keep dependent on the cult. After all, they're keeping him safe there, it's dangerous out there. (Not to mention him just feeling some inherent loyalty to the Lamb upon becoming sober, which certainly wouldn't do him any favors)

Like what's he going to do? Leave? Stumble out, suffering withdrawl, into the Lands of the Old Faith?? As an old man??????????

He has no CHOICE but to make peace with where he is. Despite all the questions about if his FAMILY is even STILL ALIVE. Despite having no idea what he DID while under the influence. Despite the HORRORS around every CORNER

It's FUCKED!!!!! It's AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sneakystorms]

misc spoilerous saltburn thoughts

love how oliver went off and mordered two people in two days but then sat on his ass for however many years waiting for the dad to die of natural causes. love how they came JUSSSST short of implying he long distance assassinated him

speaking of, the dad is the only family member oliver didn't manage to fuck in some way. come on man. commit

it's weird how the story couldn't commit to anything strong enough to make it interesting... like the absurdly rich family has a few satirical moments but isn't rich people satire in the end because too much of their screentime is spent being kind of realistic. oliver doesn't come across as sinister or evil because he has those scenes at the very beginning of him being pathetic and unpopular before he had any reason to put on an act. like if he actually knows how to act normal and comb his hair well... why doesnt he.... i was kind of waiting for a parasiteesque 'rich people can afford to be nice but poor people have to be cruel to survive' but then that wasnt the case. it could have done a secret historyesque thing where the ugliness of poverty is contrasted with the allure of the beauty of wealth but then he wasn't actually poor. i could have vibed with a 'boy is ashamed of boring middle class upbringing, sees allure both in extreme wealth and extreme poverty' sort of commentary but that is not even hinted at. it's just so mid, like some of the visuals go hard but the only thing the story commits to is various kinds of shock value, nothing of real substance

farleigh was like by far the most compelling part of the whole film like???

the scene with him and felix is FAR more interesting and nuanced than the rest of the plot put together. the way it makes you think about their relationship growing up and how it might have felt. the way it shines a light onto the fraughtness of farleigh's own position in the family, paralleling oliver's. the way farleigh brings up the racial context, clearly a bit hesitant, and the way felix reacts (one of the few moments where he's actually less than perfect. maybe the only one once the story moves on from oxford??). the way felix, despite often being the one to chastise or criticise his family's inappropriate behaviour, now comes not only to side but to identify with his family (esp his father) and its decisions (he shifts from 'my father has been beyond generous' to 'maybe we have done all we can')

his confrontation with oliver at the party where he shows full confidence he'll be accepted back into the family despite causing them serious trouble, simply because he belongs and oliver doesn't? genuinely interesting, especially in contrast with that earlier scene with felix where he appeared uncertain

only family member to make it out alive. icon

love how oliver tried to get him on his side and he just responded with ultimate cunt move

ok moving on. did anyone else notice that in that little montage of oliver settling in at saltburn and being more at ease, all the three saltburn kids take turns to read deathly hallows?? lol

i have to say after farleigh the mom was my favourite part of the movie. she got most of those rare satirical lines and she delivered them perfectly. times new roman queen

love how oliver bothered to actually kill felix but with venetia he just left her those razors and she went hmmm guess i might as well

what is the fucking point of having a labirynth in your movie if no one is gonna get lost in it????? no random police officers dont count

and what was the point of venetia saying ooh the full moon is gonna make us all crazy. that had nothing to do with anything. i was really expecting the family to ritually sacrifice oliver and to have done so with felix's previous friends but no that'd be too interesting

are those glasses even prescription?

[khaleesiofalicante]

hi dont mind me , i am writing this just after reading the chapter and with swollen eyes with how much i cried for other max, fuck this is worse than the last two chapters, i havent cried this much ever. you have such a brilliant mind i love it.

also i loved magnus in this chapter as well. as well as rafe it seems so much easier to understand them once you see the consequence of lucifer. also

also wtf was wrong with alec, like pointing an arrow is one thing but shooting a version of your kid, wow wasnt max supposed to be his fav technically like a bit biased not saying fav fav. i mean i get it, rafe is his kid of that timeline who is being threatened but shooting max was a bit too much for me from alec. i get it they dont completely understand max but atleast try to see from his side. i knew since arthur died and other max didnt tell it was all part of the plan and lance was aiming to be dead as per him. but it was a bit weird that magnus was more worried about the general health of his kids than alec (which idk just makes him colder to his kids, like almost superficial in a sense, u know what i am not making sense, its 1:36 am ist rn and i have just cried since 12 am bc of this chapter) but i know i am feeling a general sense of disappointment for alec generally in this chapter and like the whole fic in gen and not bc of other things just his take on well being(which used to be my fav thing abt him) which rafe often seems to be more in tune with than alec and yes i know he isnt the main character but idk why this got stuck i have just finished reading it literally so i will come back and write more about other max)

but anyways this was such a good hauntingly beautiful chapter. i loved it really so much. I think it was our max that went thro to the portal so when max came to he was in the changed timeline of whatever max did ? i think. my heart just went out for other max and what he had to deal with, like david suicide was something i saw coming but baby max doesnt deserve all the bad things happening to him in any universe, i knew there was a reason he has always been my fav even when he is annoying. like even in canon like cassie universe, since i started the books from 4th tmi book and then finished the whole series, max was literally the first character i knew of after the tmi novel like outside of his characters and i loved the little blueberry character since the start, always, (maybe also why alec's behaviour stuck odd to me, bc i love his and max relationship so much) bten has always been my fav story( again the alec-max relationship my fav). i literally bought my first tsc novel to be ttosa for him, just for his story ( and bane chronicles bc magnus being a fav is a canon event) i love him so much. bless just let him be alive and happy to some extent dani, that is all i ask

If it is any consolation, I cried a lot writing that chapter too. LIKE A LOT.

About Alec - I think it was a very Alec think to do. If you notice, he was the only one who was sceptical of Other Max - WHICH IS GOOD. This man could be Lucifer for all they know and one of them needed to be rational (i feel the shooting was very much reactional than intentional). But yes, among the LB fam, alec is the rational one and i think his reaction to Other Max, including the "how do we know you are saying the truth" is very practical of him. (i am a lbaf alec defender byeeee)

We don't actually know if Max changed the canon event. All we know is that Other Max didn't. If he did, he'd remmeber it.

Love all the love for Max. He is truly the bestest ;)

[viro-lil-goat]

Parents au again shoutout to this post

Basically this au (or an addition to any other au ) Jekylls parents play a role in the story.

Margaret and Ernest

^ My most recent art of Jekylls mom Margaret, she plays a bigger role in the story. (And btw this art is scanned thought an app bc lighting wasnt great.)

^ My first art of them both(was trying to figure out their designs) Margarets red dress ended up being her newer clothing and orange one is her in the past.

^My full body refs of them a bit later. I hid Ernests eyes because i couldn't decide which eye colour to give him, green, so that he kinda looks like hyde, or brown. Ended up choosing brown but that may change in the future.

^Mix with encanto i watched at the time (not the biggest fan of this drawing their head sizes are weird)

^ Andd art with her missing her past and regreting her actions (mm trauma ☺️)

^ In those 3 drawings you can see i wanted to give her a lot of old spots before the initial desing (first picture) but ended up making less of them.

^ plus height chart (sorry for bad quality im to lazy to redo the photo)

So uhh yeah thats a lot, now to context:

Margaret

[she/her] [60 y.o] [a doctor]

Hers and Ernests marriage was against their will so they have only platonic attraction

She inherited a hospital as a bisness. She is both a boss but also sometimes performs surgeries.

her shortened story [tw mention of death, abuse and depression]:

she was born in arranged marriage family.

her mothers murder was planned and made by her father (who is a leader of a mafia) because family would mess with his (secret) bisness. He sent a infected by him with rabies werewolf

but Margaret survived so he decided to leave her alive, but he used her only for his needs and was abusive and manipulative

She also had later o an arranged marriage with a man (Ernest) she knew from childhoid, but they only ever had platonic feelings for each other

Because of her father threatening her with leaving her with nothing to inherit from her family in his will, which would literally leave her on the streets, if she wouldn't have a child with her husband. At age 25 she had Jekyll.

Margaret grew with prejudice towards magical creatures and mad scientists (because of her mothers murder and the society's influence).

So when she found out her husband helps magical creatures and scientists (hid them from police in a little house in the woods) she on emotions went to the police.

Ernest was imprisoned. Where he died

so it become just her and her son now

for her son it was a hard hit, he loved his father very much

So resentment stayed with him

And Margaret also wasn't able to forgive herself ever since

She also was hyper-protective to her son and often manipulated him out of what she thought will be best for him

So one day they had a big fight because her son, Henry, wanted to create a place where the "mad" scientist who are in bad situation can have a chance to improve and not fear police anymore. She have done an ultimatum, that if he does that, he could never come back. (Or alternatively, when he changes his mind)

So he left, she was now alone, but instead of trying to fix what she had done, her pride didnt let her. Each passing year she convinced herself he will come back. For about 10 years.

she regretted her choices, her actions was haunting her which dived her into depression

But after a hard path, she will come to terms with herself.

That will happen after she will come to society to support it financially. And reunites with her son after them making peace with each other. Which dosent mean forgiveness from Jekylls side.

Alsoo there may be a sub plot about her and Frankenstein becoming "roomates".

Ernest

Well, he was a very positive and caring person. Despite that not that mature or responsible, Margaret was the responsible one. And face of the family.

While he was a househusband, and spent time with Jekyll. Thay got in trouble because Ernest didnt really twice while even little Jekyll sometimes was like "welp thats not a very good idea".

Also considering Ernest maybe inspiring Jekyll to be an alchemist. But himself he most likely had completely other interest. But still supported his son, unlike Margaret.

Mad scientists and creatures he cared for was caught with him, but they managed to escape.

His parents were mostly ignorant of his existence, exept for when that would make them a profit (like with the arranged marriage) . So he promised himself he would always care for Jekyll (🥲)

As to him and Margaret, they were pals, he always was with her when she finally was finally opening up to him. But hid his own feelings under a happy mask.

Was the same age as Margaret. Died when he was 36 (went to jail when he was 35) no one really knows what happened.

(i actually most of the time before were considering him to be alive and Margaret lying that he died, but i changed that for storys sake, i didnt felt like he had much of a purpose in the current status when jekyll is 35. BUT THAT MAY ALSO CHANGE IN THE FUTURE)

So in where hes alive version

I remember vividly daydreaming about jekyll/hyde being exited to see his/their dad after so many years, cleaning society etc while lodgers are confused. Him coming and jekyll being very exited and emotional but not knowing how to tell lodgers. Later on Margaret will come as she recieved an invitation by jekyll, which was actually written by Ernest to reunite their family. (Kinda sugar sweet compared to ver. where he died)

So uhh yeah this au was one of the most thinked about by me. Now not that much but its not forgotten ‼️

[rodeoromeo]

u dont have to reply to this i just wanted to get it off my chest tbh but re: the cult thing LITERALLY ur so right god its so fucking annoying as if he wasnt diametrically opposed to organized religion and as if he hasnt NOTABLY pointed out the failings of it and spoken against it in interviews AND his lyrics ??? sure he fucked with the krishnas but he was generally operating peripherally to them like he wasnt One Of Them like you said . he hung with them and helped them and liked their message but beyond that he wasnt a part of any group. and i dont think he ever intended to be ! maybe im crazy but i dont see anything wrong with that. and i feel like to frame george as some sort of Cult Guy in any way is to just TOTALLY discount all of the nuances surrounding his views on religion and spirituality and its just flat out Wrong — youre relying on some sort of caricature of this like .. eccentric spiritual hippie guy at that point . without taking into account his actual sentiments about religion and spirituality — the idea that its an individual journey for one thing — which, again, he has spoken about AT LENGTH so its really not that hard to find!!!!!!!! and in doing that i feel like people are doing him such a disservice because theyre really painting him in a false light. ive just been thinking about this a lot lately because i keep seeing that post thats like “if george were still alive he would have founded a cult by now” okay well youre wrong. i know youre doing a fun little silly hypothetical and its just for pretend but also .. You Are Wrong .

to be honest I do think the he would have founded a cult post is funny

but I have been annoyed with a lot of people ive seen seriously saying well "george funded a cult lmao" as a means of saying that he's a bad guy essentially

I relate really personally to the way george approached and felt about faith and about religion and honestly his approach to it has been really spiritually lifechanging for me recently. so i get touchy about it. but also it is just an unfair assessment of a man who worked very hard to take care of the people and the world around him and never did anything that would warrant or make him deserve being pointed at as a cultist. its a fucking weird stance to take and its just people once again talking about george without knowing shit about him.

super crazy how george's philanthropy and just his overall philosophy and approach to the world are somehow not a part of his image here at all.

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

ok episode 10 time. i ended up only putting together the head and body of the mk-ii earlier

starting off with sarius trying to bring up aerial again to the benerit group to try and get some punishment in but rajan is like lol nope.

given how we later see prospera and delling together at the end of this ep, i figure its a pretty good assumption that some time between grassley duel and now (its 2 months from what shaddiq says later), delling bring prospera on for quiet zero and he likely also help front aerial's repairs

also man vim is a fucking idiot lol. i totally forgot he says this to sarius. and then iirc all we get once we're in cour 2 is peil bringing up that jeturk suits were used at plant quetta which like yea lmao he can't be like oh btw i knew about it all beforehand

oh this little lovestruck tanuki

knowing endgame miorine, what are the chances that little lesbian was keeping count like this too

i'm glad suletta no longer sees relationships as transactional but lmao this little gay baby. just ecstatic to be of use to miorine and tend to the greenhouse while shes away

honestly cool as hell that they got this prototype all set in the last two months - likely mostly nika and belmeria's work. i have a dumb headcanon that gund-arm probably didn't really get to do much R&D in the 3 year time skip because of all the loose ends miorine's probably been dealing with from the benerit group, on top of taking care of suletta, taking care of her mother-in-law and then nika's in fucking jail lol. even then, since it's likely ojelo and nuno were the ones doing most of the work (maybe belmeria still helping?), it's still neat that they have prosthetics about to start testing rounds with petra. yeah i wrote all this just to say wow nika's so smart

this scene is so ridiculously heartwarming lol she's such a little dweeb

who knew these stupid things would become such an integral part of the story lol

also, i'm glad we didnt get the secret message inside cool-san thing everyone kept theorizing about after the break up. that just wouldnt have made any sense with what miorine was trying to do lol

gosh its so nice to be rewatching this and just KNOW somewhere within those 2 months suletta and miorine's relationship just became normalized to the earth house kids and we just see it over and over in this episode

like when has nika referred to suletta as hanamuko-san lol and she does so immediately after our tanuki is gushing about giving miorine the ugly ass keychain lol

oh yeah, shes thinking of her tanuki

in retrospect this was kind of insanely naive of miorine, wasnt it? shes lucky feng jun and guston weren't onboard with what the rest of the SAL was cooking up

lol at this "stick to your duels". my dude you literally fund proxy wars on earth. you have no moral ground to stand on

lol this episode really is so good at setting up for episode 11. just look at her happy little faces each and every single time she's felt useful

oh the fucking bracelet 😭

weird to think shaddiq's plan works out in the end and plot convenience keeps delling alive, but it pretty much ends up as his plan of trying to obtain majority shares

i hope they've just been teasing her for 2+ weeks miorine's been gone and possibly even before then

iconic tanuki shot

platonically, of course. as gal pals.

actually i think of note in this scene with elan and him planting doubt in suletta's brain is whether what he says is true or he's just making shit up as part of doubt sowing. but he's basically implying that miorine has been acting in such a way that everyone at school is talking about it and they can't believe how different she's being. and part of that is certainly true given what shaddiq's said numerous times over the last few episodes

lol this will always remain such an excellent take on the misunderstanding trope

oh yea and don't forget mom and dad

almost forgot there's a post-credits scene on this ep. i wonder what his original plan to break up the group was before the delling assassination plan fell in his lap

also imaging living in a world where BOBBU became a class traitor and actually learned from his experiences..... yea right lmfao

ok definitely not finishing the 1st cour because it's taken me forever to watch this one episode. gonna see how many episode i knock out over the weekend

[miiilowo]

Ough tell us abt William and gender

bc Funtime Foxy and Springbonnie are both characters Will had a very strong influence in making. I've personally always seen it as (likely unconscious) projecting on his part. I have Many Thoughts on Funtime Foxy being feminine presenting with a masc voice and passionate entertainer like William. And Springbonnie being William's absolute favorite; and Sb can very much be interpreted as not caring about gender and using any pronouns from the fnaf world screens

How do you think William's life wouldn't turned out if there were no murders and nothing bad happened? Would he have stayed with Henry and Fredbear's or pursued different passions? What would he be like as an old man and potential grandfather, theres not too much in canon you can base on so it's fun to ask and seeing all the different answers you can get

Would do you think about William's apparent fondness for the circus and the like? (Based on the SL designs and ar springtrap having a clown skin) I think it makes the random "1810 circus pipe organ" audio in fnaf 1 real fun. Like. the implications of it or something

I LOVE HOW FUCKING QUEERCODED HE IS 💥💥💥💥IT GENUINELY MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO THINK ABOUT. i 100% would not be surprised if scott did it on purpose, especially when you take the spring bonnie gender thing into account. he is bisexual & aro To Me and while i do generally perceive him as a cis guy, that doesnt mean he cant get a little silly with gender stuff :3c id never thought it about funtime foxy being projection, but it absolutely makes sense, especially considering the tie-in with him being an entertainer. using spring bonnie probably wouldve been bad rep at that point in the timeline, so having using funtime foxy instead is delightful and im incorporating that into how i view him now. i love effeminate queer coded villains. they r everything to me. no way this dude wasnt spotted as being queer by the general population. type of motherfucker to have a musical number if i am being honest. like if there was an animated fnaf movie i wholeheartedly believe he would have some over the top song and performance about his Evil Plans. he loves that shit. hes soooooo FUCKING SILLY im going to eat him alive. anyways

he probably wouldve just kept doin what he loved if everything went well. its his passion ! god knows the two of them would be well off enough to retire. i dont think theyd be anything too extraordinary, though if william went down the path of wanting to be Better than henry still, murders aside, then i can see him achieving some pretty cool shit. i think he'd eternally have like, weird uncle or embarrassing dad energy for the rest of his life. this is because he is autistic

aaaaaaaand as for the circus thing, i think it just makes sense given his adoration for entertaining. being a clown isnt really too far off what he already did- both of em dress up as characters to perform for people, especially kids, and are known for doing silly little tricks. e.g. juggling. which he can do, canonically. im not sure he has too much interest in clowns, just likes them, and it makes a lot of sense thematically :o)

[aggressivelyclueless]

i wasnt gonna write fic for birthday blorbo hours

spoiler alert: it's fic for birthday blorbo hours

@beehivian i have very politely refrained from killing him in this one :) thats as close to a birthday present as he gets

The exisal was dormant, motionless, utterly silent in the maintenance hangar. The exterior skin of its armor was cold steel, betraying nothing, but without the ventilation running, the inside had begun to feel like an oven. It was not airtight: in theory, Kaito would not asphyxiate no matter how long he was wedged into the thing.

But, all the same, he was sure it was suffocating him.

He tried to doze for a while, one foot in consciousness, the other in the grave. He dreamt, in a way, but those half-dreams were restless and malformed, always rooted in the faint sound of some electrical unit's hum or the clanging pipes overhead. His mind took those sounds and twisted them into scuttling, multi-legged things or monstrously jawed exisals like rabid animals that chased his friends up and down every hall in this whole damnable place.

In his more coherent moments, he thought of the others. Once things went to shit (which they would; there was no doubt in his mind there), fallout and consequences became a guessing game. He was confident that Maki Roll, at least, would make it, no matter what happened or what that weird little bear and his weird little entourage threw at her. She, in turn, would ensure Shuichi's survival. It wouldn't be pretty -- but they would both make it. . . probably.

But there was an awful lot riding on that probably, wasn't there?

How much did he trust Kokichi's little plan, again?

Three hours ago -- give or take -- if you'd have asked him that, he would have blown off the question as absurd. Trust him? How stupid do you think I am? he'd say, and he might tell you too that he had his own plan, and he'd have said it had a pretty good chance at getting him out of there.

Being cooped up in a bathroom, even a clean one, was not how Kaito wanted to spend his last few days alive. He was convinced, at the time, that these were shaping up to be his last days: Kokichi was keeping him alive on a whim, nothing more, and it would be on a similar whim that he would change his mind and go for the throat. Kaito could hear him on the other side of the locked door sometimes, talking to himself or pacing up and down the length of the hangar or giving in to fits of unbridled, shrieking laughter.

He said nothing about it, not to anybody, and refused to admit it even to himself, but it was that laughter that had begun to scare him.

Kaito was trying, of course -- and that went double whenever he heard someone coming up the hall outside and knew he had a visitor -- but keeping his nerves together was becoming a stretch. Every time he heard Kokichi's footsteps, he imagined him opening the door and saying time's up! with a bright little smile; every time one of the exisals came or went down the hall outside his tiny window, in his mind's eye he saw it turn to him and take meticulous, precise aim. . .

His own aim was dogshit, of course, but that was no deterrent. The crossbow was something that could be slipped in through the limited space of the window, assembled, and used in close quarters where it wouldn't matter. As long as he could catch Kokichi off-guard, he was adamant that he could land a hit, maybe even kill him outright.

Not that he wanted it to turn out that way, but how much of a choice did he have?

Sitting there on the tiles, with the weapon half-assembled in his lap, he was beginning to doubt if he could do it. Hit, sure. No problem. The fucker deserved it.

But could he kill?

What if he incapacitated him? Hit him in the leg, maybe, just so that he couldn't do any more damage?

What if he put that bolt clean through Kokichi's skull?

Could he afford to hesitate?

The laughter from the hangar stopped in an instant, and the incredulous thought came upon Kaito that Kokichi had, somehow, been listening in on his very thoughts. It was as if he had shut himself off; one moment there were the sounds of an uproarious giggling fit, then a sharp gasp of air as if someone had slapped him.

Then there was nothing.

Then, from just outside the door: "Kaito. . . ?"

Kaito's eyes went between the closed door and the scatter of parts on the tile, wishing desperately that he was as efficient as Maki at putting the thing together (fifteen seconds flat was her record, which Kaito had deemed impressive as hell! at the time). Had Kokichi heard him? He had been careful to keep quiet, or at least he thought he had -- but he heard a fair amount of what went on out there; it stood to reason that his own activities, although they generally didn't amount to much, would be within earshot as well.

"Shit," he mouthed, not daring to voice it.

He did not have time to sweep the parts back into the bag, much less stash it in the cabinet under the sink. The sharp, damning click! of the door unlocking made him freeze red-handed.

"You know I wanted to ask you some. . . thing. . . " Kokichi had started, but his gaze came to rest on the partially-assembled weapon and his voice trailed away to nothing. For all he had sounded, moments ago, to be caught in rapturous glee, he showed no sign of it now: his cheeks had not reddened; no trace of smile remained in the corners of his mouth, much less the corners of his eyes; his voice was deceptively casual, almost singsong, but without the stifled quality of trying to keep one's composure.

But now, even with that practiced innocence, that voice carried a creeping threat underneath it that set Kaito's teeth on edge.

"Kaito? What is that?"

It was not a question, not really. Kokichi just wanted to see him squirm.

But Kaito, ever the expert at steeling himself, refused. Every muscle in him was as tight as a bowstring; the silence between them drew him tight enough to snap. It was fight or flight, and he had nowhere left to run.

So, without a choice, Kaito lunged.

One of the air units somewhere in the complex kicked off and the vents which crawled along the ceiling shuddered down into eery silence, unmasking the occasional plink! plink! from the still-dripping press across the hangar. The thing loomed like a grinning beast in the shadows, its jaws defunct and painted with gaudy sprays of blood; Kaito wanted to turn away, wanted not to be sick at the sight of it, but the armored windscreen of the exisal did not afford him any other view. He could shut his eyes all he wanted, but he could not tune out the smell, and the sound when those two steel plates had come together -- a merciless, wet pop! like biting a grape in two -- still echoed in his ears.

He took as deep of a breath as he could manage, and the nausea subsided again. But he knew it would be back: it would be an uphill battle for a while.

Not for the first time, he wondered if he could hold out that long. Kokichi was banking on the fact that he would -- his plan more or less revolved around it, in fact -- but Maki's antidote was taking its time (oh, you knew it would do that, and you agreed anyway, you fool), and that was on top of how his lungs had started to rile themselves up again. . .

The fight, such as it was, didn't last long. With Kokichi caught off-guard, he was on the defense from the get-go, and it was only a minute, two maybe, until Kaito had the front of his shirt in both hands and hoisted him off the ground. He was screeching -- unfair! you idiot, put me down! -- and clawing at Kaito's wrists, but Kaito wasn't about to let him go now.

But then he heard the exisal clomping on the steel floors, and the hangar's door began to come up. He had known to make it a quick fight -- and yet, with Kokichi still shrieking and kicking at him, Kaito had run out of time.

"Dammit," he hissed, knowing in an instant how all of this was about to go. The exisal, at Kokichi's command, would shoot him, and it was going to hurt; it would take hours for him to lie there and bleed out. Maybe less, if Kokichi was feeling generous -- but probably not. And over it all would be that horrible, screaming laughter like a banshee.

But the exisal did not shoot him. It stood there in mechanical silence, as if giving Kaito a chance to come to terms with his own imminent death; it was only for a second, but he felt as if time had ground to a halt.

Then the cockpit opened, and everything seemed to happen at once. Kokichi succeeded in wresting himself from Kaito's grip at last; Kaito registered that it was Maki who was piloting the exisal; she brought her own crossbow around in a split second to aim; Kokichi made an instinctive dive for cover, the nearest thing being Kaito (nevermind that they had been brawling moments before), but he wasn't fast enough: the explosive thwap! from Maki's weapon drove the bolt into his shoulderblade, about an inch from dead center.

"Shit!" Kokichi cried, pitching forward and catching himself by the knee. Maki was out of the mech and on him in two great strides, swinging her foot against the side of his head like a sledgehammer and sending him careening sidelong. He tumbled blindly, caught the concrete flooring under his palms, half kicked, half skidded backward on his ass. "Please don't," he stammered, the ear now bleeding, "please don't kill me, I -- "

"Tell me everything," demanded the assassin, advancing, refusing to let Kokichi scuttle out of reach. His movements were frantic but hers were deliberate and precise, and to Kaito it seemed as if Maki herself was gone and the Ultimate Assassin had taken her place, acknowledging nothing around her except the fact that her prey was still breathing. "Tell me," she repeated, "the end of the killing game, the Remnants of Despair, all of it."

"The what?" Kokichi exclaimed ("the what?" Kaito exclaimed), "I don't know what you're talking about -- "

"Liar!" the assassin barked, sharply enough to make even Kaito flinch, and the hand which wasn't holding her crossbow tightened into an impatient fist at her side. "Don't you play stupid with me!"

Kokich had backed himself into the corner by the control platform's steps; sensing it, he froze, a frightened little gasp escaping him. "No wait I swear I don't -- "

"Last chance, mastermind," the assassin growled, her crossbow aimed directly between his electrified eyes. "Start talking."

"I don't know!" Kokichi bawled, "I don't -- I'm not even the Mastermind, I'm just -- please, you can't -- " he must have been really grasping here: " -- Kaito, call her off!"

True desperation or not -- the assassin paused, inches out of Kokich's reach. "Kaito. . . " She turned, but did not shift the aim of her weapon. "Did he hurt you?"

"No I didn't touch him I swear -- "

At Kokichi: "Shut up!" Back at Kaito, more urgently this time: "Did he hurt you?"

"I. . . " Under the assassin's glare (jesus, is this really what she's like? he thought), Kaito froze like a deer in headlights, instantly convinced that if he so much as moved she'd cut him down. It was ludicrous -- that was Maki and she was his friend, wasn't she? -- but her face was like stone and her eyes were cold and cruel, and as his mouth went dry he understood why even Kokichi was reduced to a trembling, weeping heap on the floor.

He hated to think it, but simply being in her presence -- being seen, being watched by her -- filled him with an immeasurable, unshakable dread.

"No," he said, as soon as he could force himself to say anything at all. Then the spell of paralysis was broken; he swiped a wrist under his bloodied nose (one of a handful of blows that he and Kokichi had traded), but that blood didn't faze him. "No, not till just now. It's fine, I started it. . . I'm okay. I promise."

Why are you lying to her? Do you really want her to let Kokichi go?

Or is it because you just want to see her become Maki again?

At his assurance, the assassin eased. "You should go, then. You won't want to see this."

"Now wait a second, I don't -- " Kokichi started, but the assassin was having none of it: she whirled on him, cutting him off with a look alone.

"I'll find out what you know one way or the other," she said lowly, "once that poison starts to kick in, you'll even beg me to kill you. I've seen it all before."

"Poison?" Kokichi squeaked, "N-no, tell me you're not -- you can't be -- you are. . . you are serious. . . "

"Maki, what the hell did you do?" Oh, but Kaito didn't want to know. He hated seeing her like this. There was no warmth to her at all; she may as well have been a machine. He had known that she possessed the skills, but seeing them demonstrated -- seeing exactly what she would do for his sake -- brought the bitter taste of bile into the back of his throat. "Don't kill him. Don't do it just because of me."

The assassin regarded him again with that icy stare and he wished for all the world that she hadn't, because then he could remain convinced -- he could still pretend -- that she was human. She was supposed to be human, but looking into those eyes now he saw nothing but the bloodlust of a beast. "Just because of you? Do you know how long I spent wondering if I was going to be too late? If I was going to finally break in here and find your corpse? And now you're telling me that I should let him live? He doesn't deserve it."

"Fine, maybe not," Kaito conceded -- ignoring the tear-stained protests from Kokichi -- and eased a little closer to her. "But I can't. . . I can't watch you get that kind of blood on your hands for my sake."

"Then go," said the assassin, and this time it was a warning.

But Kaito slowly shook his head. He was pushing his luck, and part of him knew it -- are you sure she won't cut you down too, if you get in her way? -- but he couldn't help himself. "I can't. Maki, please. He's not worth it."

"What has he done to you, really?" the assassin asked warily. She readjusted the grip on her weapon, shooting Kokichi a warning look to keep him from trying to slink away. "Why do you want to save him?"

Kaito hesitated, a few feet shy of her. "I don't give a shit what happens to him" -- which was at least partially true -- "but I can't see you like this. I just can't." He was really pushing it, all right.

But he could see her finally starting to thaw.

"Come back to me, Maki. . . please?"

The assassin was hesitating, her crossbow tilting slowly out of precise aim. If only a little, her stone-hard facade began to crack. She could become Maki again, Kaito knew. She would, she had to, because he could not imagine getting free of this murderous place without her. "I want to," she said, "I will. But. . . "

"Please, don't say it." She took a deep breath, and with it the determination had returned. "It's already started. I have to finish this."

"No, don't -- "

Maki brought the crossbow up again at the same instant that Kaito moved to intervene. The bolt bit into him, shooting a white-hot arc of pain up his arm and across his collarbone, plunging his mind into a flare of static and disbelief.

He had taken the hit.

But if he hadn't, Kokichi would have been killed instantly.

For a few terrible seconds, it was all he could do to grapple with the pain, but then the fireburst began to fade and the full weight of it slowly sunk in. Then Maki had him by the shoulders, crossbow empty and discarded by her feet; she was yelling why, damn you, why? and what have you done? and do you want to die? and she was crying as hard as Kokichi, and the only thing that could go through Kaito's mind was she's back, she's still here, it's always been her, oh thank god she's still human. . .

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely, knowing it wasn't enough. He want to justify it -- he felt he had to, or it would be negated somehow -- but the truth of it was that he had acted almost on reflex: he simply could not bear to see her kill.

Maki stepped back, her face all red and patchy, her eyes glistening. "I think there's an antitoxin," she said, in between tight, gasping sobs, "I'm sure there is, just stay here. I'll be back, okay? Just a few minutes, I'll be right back. . . "

Then she turned tail and fled.

Kaito wanted to trail after, taking a few steps before even realizing that he was doing it. But she was gone; he and Kokichi were in the hangar alone. The fluorescents overhead droned like hornets, interrupted only by the haphazard sound of Kokichi trying to catch his breath.

It didn't take him long. "This is your fault," he spat, once he was able, and smeared a sleeve under his eyes one at a time. Kaito whirled to face him, and he doubled down: "Yeah, you heard me. This whole fuckin' game's gonna start up again and it's because of you!"

"Like hell it is! I saved your skin just now!" Kaito exclaimed, but he had missed his chance: Maki had succeeded in getting Kokichi off his bearings -- unquestionably off them, and that was a rare feat -- but he was snatching them back again and Kaito on his own could not hope to keep them away from him.

Kokichi shook his head and laughed hollowly, still half crying. "Shut up. Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about, do you? You never do! You fucking idiot!"

Kaito nearly boiled over. "Hey, knock it off already! Quit treating me like I'm stupid!"

"Then for once in your life will you quit acting like it?" cried Kokichi desperately, his voice ringing through the hangar and echoing back and forth off the steel walls. He shifted up to his knees and one hand untucked itself from against his chest, making a grab for Kaito's sleeve. Kaito felt that it was shaking. "I know you're not, okay? But for fuck's sake: give me something to work with here!"

Kaito drew away in disgust, yanking the sleeve out of Kokichi's grasp and watching him stumble forward after it. "I'd rather die than work with you! You're nothing but an insidious little rat!"

"Yeah! Maybe! But you don't get it, do you? Come on, Momota, listen to me: what do you think happens now? If you die? If I die? Who becomes the blackened then?"

Kaito wanted to punch him, if just to shut him up. His hand -- the good hand -- was flexing into a fist seemingly on its own, as if goading him. Go on and hit him. Smash his head into a cracked, bloody pulp, see how much bullshit he can spew at you then.

But he couldn't do it.

"No one's going to need three guesses to figure this one out," Kokichi went on, knowing he had Kaito's full attention now. He forced himself up to his feet, eyeing the control panel by the shutter door, but made no move for it yet. "Would you rather she die knowing she'd killed you? Or let her get even with me, and stick around and watch her execution?"

Kaito felt the knot in his chest twist. "Don't say that," he pleaded (is that how it's coming out now? are you that desperate, too?), "Just don't. That's not a fair choice."

Kokichi scoffed. "I don't give a shit if it's fair. It's your own fault anyways. You put us both here."

"But what if she can -- "

"You think you can convince her to save me? After she already decided to mercy-kill me? Pssht, maybe you are the stupid one after all. The second she sees me, she'll probably snap my neck." He didn't seem to like how that sounded: Kaito caught a flicker of uncertainty behind those eyes. Disguised, of course -- he had a good grip on it -- and it was gone just as soon as it had come, but it was there nonetheless.

And for the first time, Kaito recognized exactly what it was he was hiding: is he really so scared of her? Sure, she had surprised the hell out of him and sent him into a panic, but Maki could do that to anybody (the number of times she had scared Shuichi without even meaning to was indication enough of that). But to think that Kokichi could be truly, deeply afraid of her -- that he could be truly, deeply afraid of anything in the first place -- didn't quite connect. Kaito wanted to dismiss it as a lie.

But that didn't feel right, either.

Kokichi had made his way to the shutter console and the hangar's door rattled closed, once again shutting out the rest of the complex. He had every one of his bearings back now, although they came through under a veneer of pain. The lilting quality returned to his voice and Kaito found that he was glad for it; its absence had unnerved him more than he would later admit. "Well, I suppose you don't really care what she does to me. You've got your own bad choices to make, huh?"

"She won't save you," said Kaito, feeling distant. It's already started. I have to finish this. God damn, why couldn't he have stopped her? Why couldn't he have stayed out of her way? "She's going to die, no matter what. . . "

Kokichi said nothing, only regarded him in patient silence. The side where he'd been shot was held a little more carefully, his arm not wanting to stray from its place, but his breathing had come under control again and he was keeping a firm grasp on the pain. He cocked his head deliberately, as if expecting another answer.

But they both knew that Kaito was defeated. He was out of options. Maki was out of options, whether she realized it yet or not. More than anything -- more than his own death, which he'd been staring in the face for a while now -- it terrified him to see her kill, and yet he was the one that ensured that she would. One way or the other.

He had done this to her. Kokichi was right after all -- and of course Kokichi was only right when it counted.

This time? It counted double.

"How do we stop it?" Kaito asked, his own voice feeling like an echo. "Ouma, please. . . tell me you have a plan, tell me you can get us out of this -- get her out of this, I don't care, just. . . lie to me."

That was when Kokichi's smile finally showed itself. "Of course I have a plan," he said, and Kaito had no choice but to believe him. "I just have to know whose side you're on. That's all. So: you're going to work with me, and you're not going to try and back out. Is that a lie?"

"No," said Kaito, and he didn't have anything left with which to resist. He was thinking of Maki, wondering if he would be able to explain anything to her when she came back. He wanted to tell her not to worry, that he'd be all right, that she wouldn't be the one to kill him. . .

. . . and that was how it was going to go, wasn't it? Kokichi was going to do it instead, removing Maki from the equation, at least as far as official guilt was concerned.

Unofficial, he didn't think she would ever be rid of it. He wasn't going to be, either.

At least, he hadn't thought so at the time. Now, with nothing but his own thoughts to fill the exisal's silence, he supposed that guilt was beginning to ease. The weight of Murder pressing in on him had been crushing, but he was braced against it now, fortified an extra degree with every moment that he heard the light, shallow breathing alongside his own.

He was no longer wholly convinced that Murder would be the truth.

But he wasn't convinced it was going to be a lie, either.

How long was it, exactly, that he was going to be in here? He felt like he was roasting alive; his poor head was still swimming; every joint in his body was aching and cramped now, demanding to be stretched out; the bad arm had dulled, no longer reacting to every irritation with fire, but it had settled into a grumpier, more consistent pain. His lungs were starting to feel slimy and raw again, and it would only be a matter of time before he lost that battle. The weight on his lap felt like a stone.

But he couldn't back out now. Even if the concrete out there was blissfully cold, even if he could reach over with the good hand and crack the windscreen open just a little, just enough to breathe. . .

Soon, he wanted to say, but could not bring himself to make a sound.

Soon as that shutter rolls up, we'll find out whether that plan of yours succeeds or fails.

That was the moment that it would all be worth it. . . or it wouldn't.

And if not -- if Kaito was forced to fall back on his last resort, would he get away with it?

Kokichi had brayed laughter at him when he had brought it up. "Last resort?" he snorted, "like a backup plan? But this one can't go wrong, what do you need a backup for?"

"Just in case," said Kaito defensively, "and besides, Maki made it look cool as hell."

Laughter turned on a dime to revulsion. "Maki's a piece of shit! We're not doing this for her!"

Kaito scowled, half of a mind to smack him. Maybe he would have, if the bad arm wasn't still in Kokichi's hands. "You're not, maybe. You're just doing it for you, same as everything else. But if this fails, she becomes the blackened. You even said so. And I can't sit and watch -- "

"Oh, blah-blah-blah!" Kokichi interrupted, accentuating each syllable by swaying on his seat. "Don't you get started on the oh-but-I-love-her-so-much bullshit! She's nothing but a pain in the ass! This is all her fault, remember?" He paused, giving Kaito the arm back. "How's that?"

"You're the one that's a pain in the ass," Kaito snapped, leaning back and testing the arm out. Conclusion: not great. The fingers on that side were already going stiff, and if he shifted the wrist even a few degrees, everything up to the shoulder complained with a fiery, lashing temper.

But it was better than leaving the bolt in it.

It would have to do. He nodded at Kokichi anyway, and held out the good hand. "And besides, didn't you say it was my fault?"

"If you have to ask it, then it's already a lie," said Kokichi, plunking the half roll of bandages into Kaito's waiting palm. The two of them sat on bare, marred concrete, the empty bottle of antidote and the pilfered first aid kit between them. It was proving to be pathetically insufficient -- the painkillers, at least, were a bad joke -- but it was that or nothing, and they were on thin enough ice as it was.

"Isn't that the point?"

"No," said Kokichi, declining to elaborate, and scooted around so that Kaito could get at his injury. Over his shoulder, sounding a little too chipper: "You better be fast, okay?"

"Hold still," said Kaito, setting a hand lightly on the side of Kokichi's arm and feeling him go rigid under his touch.

". . . okay. Go." The hand moved gingerly to the protruding end of the bolt; Kaito took a deep breath to steady himself, and -- knowing exactly what it felt like, forcing himself not to hesitate -- yanked it out in a gaudy spurt of blood. Whether Kokichi cried out or not, he did not process, only the wet, wrenching sound of the projectile coming free.

With the bolt in his hand, dripping, he felt as if he were going to be sick.

". . . Ouma?"

Kokichi said nothing, made not a sound; Kaito thought, for one terror-stricken moment, that he'd somehow killed him.

"Ouma, I'm sorry -- "

Then, impossibly, Kokichi laughed. Just once, but forcefully enough that it was unmistakable. "All of your fussing, just for that? You made it sound like it would hurt."

Kaito just stared in disbelief. Why are you still lying? What are you trying to prove?

"You're such a complainer, Momota."

Or are you doing it because you don't know how to be honest anymore?

"For being the tough guy, you're not really that tough of a guy."

Stop it, just stop it!

"Makes me wonder if you'll be able to -- "

"Will you quit it already?" said Kaito in exasperation, his patience snapping like thread. He grabbed Kokichi by the shoulder -- on the good side -- and pulled him around, forcing him to face Kaito directly. "Can't you just drop it -- ?"

It was a mistake: Kokichi's voice had betrayed nothing but his face looked like sickly porcelain, cut through with gleaming lines of tears.

He was hurting plenty.

"Of course I can't," he said, and his voice -- his lie -- sounded almost amused. "Why should I? Just for you?"

Kaito, taken aback, withdrew his hand. "Why not?" he asked, a little more gently. "You already swore you'd tell me every detail of this whole weird scheme, you already said we'd make it and you weren't lying then -- you're getting what you want, right? I'm helping you, and I can't back out. So why in the hell are you still lying to me? Why are you still trying to convince me you're okay?"

Kokichi smiled, and it only took a moment for it to turn bastardous. "Learned it from you," he said, and just like that his truth was under wraps again. Despite the pain, he was unnaturally good at it. . .

. . . but all it took was a glimpse to know it was there -- to identify it -- and, now that he had an idea of what it looked like, Kaito was starting to make out the shape of it underneath the veil.

"You want me to admit it so damned bad," said Kaito, "fine. Maybe I'm not okay. But you're not, either. So quit pretending already." He hated how that tasted coming out of his own mouth, hated how easily Kokichi was playing reflection, hated how even a thing like agony could be twisted and utilized to make a point.

"It's funny, isn't it?" said Kokichi, "how you're only ever honest with your enemies? Do you ever wonder why that is?"

"No," said Kaito, but that was a lie. He had thought about it plenty, lying on his back at three in the morning because that was the only way he could even breathe, and most nights he was trying to convince himself that he was going to tell the others (first thing tomorrow, right? just like you said last time?), feeling his chest wind tighter and tighter until he couldn't take it anymore and made a dash for the bathroom sink where at least he could wash all the blood off his face after.

But it was just because he didn't want Shuichi and the others to worry. It wasn't a lie, merely the omission of truth, and those were not the same.

"Maybe," he said, and sighed. "Sometimes."

"Oh," said Kokichi, not seeming to like that answer much. "Enemies it is, I guess. . . hey, grab the other end of my jacket, will you? This arm's all stiff now, and -- "

"Yeah, I got it," said Kaito, easing the jacket off, hesitating when Kokichi winced. The shirt underneath was drenched and sticking to his skin; the wound, Kaito was pretty sure, was still weeping. "Damn, she really got you, huh."

Kokichi hissed through his teeth. "Told you she was a piece of shit."

"So are you."

Kokichi offered him a one-sided shrug in concession, carefully enough that he wouldn't agitate the injured shoulder too much. "And you're stuck here with me anyways. So what does that say about you?"

Only in retrospect did Kaito understand what that meant. He had assumed it was just another prod (one of an infinite supply, it seemed), just another assurance that he was sinking down to Kokichi's level after all -- and perhaps he was. How could he not, when the only option for both of them was to be in it together?

But maybe -- in some odd, backwards way -- he did consider Kaito a friend. He didn't feel like one, not to Kaito, not in the same way that Shuichi was, or Maki. . . but there was some level of understanding between them that hadn't been there before. He couldn't explain it. He couldn't put it to logic like Shuichi could, and perhaps that was by design. Shuichi did his thinking with his brain; Kaito did his with his heart, and there wasn't always a clean way to translate between the two.

Kokichi wielded both. He aimed logic like a weapon, held emotion like an ace up his sleeve; when he lied, he didn't always want to be called out, and when he wanted to be called out, it wasn't always on a lie. Shuichi tried to dimiss it out of hand: he didn't understand an ounce of it.

But Kaito was starting to.

He did not feet the weight shift on his lap -- both his legs had gone to static and needles -- but rather heard it; in the near-silence of the hangar, with nothing except the muted hum of the single auxiliary light in the corner, he couldn't miss it. He looked down at Kokichi, mostly a muddle of white in the shadows, folded into the front half of the cockpit like a sardine. He was dozing, but not well: Kaito saw the way his knees drew a degree tighter against his chest, the clutching little spasms of his fingers, how his light, even breathing was slowly starting to work itself up. . .

Bad dream? Kaito had trouble imagining any other kind. He set a hand on molten, sweat-damped skin, making Kokichi jolt. "Easy," he breathed, "hey, easy. . . are you doing okay?"

Kokichi stilled, his head resting lightly against Kaito's arm. The single bulb from the far end of the hangar cast everything in a skewed, off-yellow light, throwing jutting angles against walls and corners and making it all seem surreal. "I thought something went wrong," he whispered at last, "I thought. . . I thought this whole plan fell apart. How stupid is that?"

"You mean the one that you said couldn't possibly fail?"

"Yeah, that one. D'you think something's wrong with me for thinking it, even if it was a dream?"

Kaito considered. "No, I don't think so."

"Oh, blah," said Kokichi, wrinkling his nose with a tired little huff.

Had he been asking for a lie? Kaito amended: ". . . whatever's wrong with you goes way deeper than this. Insidious little rat just about sums it up, doesn't it?"

"Insidious little rat," Kokichi echoed in amusement, as if it was a title of pride. "That's a good one."

"And horrible bastard."

"Yeah." Then his face turned serious again, scrutinizing. ". . . but not boring?"

Was he asking this time for the truth? ". . . no. Not once," said Kaito, and -- for better or worse -- he meant it.

Right answer again: Kokichi let out a long, slow breath of air, and Kaito felt his curled-up body slacken with relief. There was no point anymore in trying to disguise the pain; that, like everything in the past few hours, had been split down the middle between them. It was give and take and give and take and give, and somehow neither of them had managed to break even.

Yet.

They both sat there for a while, all cramped and bunched-up and half delirious. Kaito was keeping a firm hold on his breathing, stifling it even though his chest wanted to catch every time he inhaled. It was manageable, really. For now. Fifteen or twenty minutes down the line (being that generous, are you?), well, that was another matter entirely. But he could hold onto it.

That, of course, was a lie he'd been telling himself for a while.

Kokichi shifted over again, only a little, to look up at him. Those eyes of his were huge and round, staring but unfocused; it was as if he were staring through Kaito at some distant star. He wanted to disguise it, to lie even without words -- he wanted to, Kaito knew, but there was no point in it anymore. So his hand went up, a little at a time, fighting the bad joint in his shoulder, and came to rest on Kaito's shirt, his thumb rubbing softly back and forth across his collarbone. He wouldn't look Kaito in the eye now, but it didn't matter. He didn't have to say a word.

And for the first time in days -- in weeks -- Kaito felt his lungs begin to settle on their own. He shut his eyes, taking a moment just to breathe, just to try and get those round, sad eyes out of his mind. He didn't want to see it: he knew that Kokichi didn't want him to see it.

I guess we're in it for real this time, huh? he'd said, as Kaito had given him his good hand and helped him clamber up into the exisal. Getting the cockpit to close had been an effort; they had sat there for a few minutes, both of them pushing hands and feet out of the way to try and get enough space, and Kokichi had paused, the windscreen still cracked open. One last thing, he'd said, and Kaito had groaned internally. One last thing, you gotta promise.

Don't remember me like this, okay?

"I won't," Kaito whispered, knowing exactly what Kokichi's bad dream had been about, and knowing how badly he wanted to lie to disguise it.

But there was no such thing as a meaningful lie between them. Not anymore.

[angeloftrumpets]

Hiii ^_^/ I was wondering if you had a back/story for your S/I(s) with any of your F/O(s)? I'm mostly curious, and only if you'd like to share :3c

HIIIIIIII okie this is going to probab;y be a very jumbled adnd maybe confusing and long post bc AA but i will try to make it understandable and write it before my ride gets here and picks me UP OKIE (edit i have been adding onto this post on my shift since like 1 am my time so i apologize if its confusing my work laptop is weird ANYWAYS)

I only have one s/i aside from just straight?? up me?? (or a backstory if that makes sense) and thats neph or, the cat/shark guy (Funfact!!! neph came from a convo with toonie, ill explain a bit below but he is cursed to not have a name and since hes a Nephilim toonie decided to start calling him neph, as like a shorter version of it! (thanks toon ! :3 💛)

to begin obviously he is a Nephilim, i hc six also is one since i remembered my mom telling me something about the Nephilim teaching humanity about technology i dont know where it is said about that but thats where that hc comes from!! they are both (neph and six) are kind of a 'different' kind of Nephilim as in they are only related with technology and were apart of the ones that showed humanity technology, so example both him and six both have the ability to go through the television and when it is invented computers/phones etc, that just kinda explains the general basis of how he works the cat tail/shark stuff is cause im cringe and think that combo looks cool and that he can shapeshift (As i imagine most nephilims can?) and since he mostly exist on a digital plane no one is going to question if they see some weird combination of animal on some animated program if he were to appear in it even though he looks like that physically also. due to the fact that he is a Nephilim, he obviously isnt liked by most beings from the heavens since he is a product of a human and a fallen angel and was cursed by the big g himself to not have a name nor be seen physically by humanity, which can get pretty lonely and make someone weird, he has a long history of being chased out by various angels that catch him lurking by (he likes to hang out around the garden of eden, thats where him and toonie met) ALSO if we are gonna get specific michael DOESNT like him and has definitely nearly killed him like twice. hes welcome in hell tho :))) neph doesnt hold any hard feelings twards angels for not being fond of him considering what he is, but not all of them are like that. obviously, toon being one of them (or i guess archangel gabriel if we are being literal but i dont want to confuse alt g and him so i will say toon)

when they both first met toon was definitely a little anxious at first considering hes heard of Nephilims/his peers going after them/ and the flood in general (by the way, i dont remember what ep it is but i hc when alt g tells noah something will be joining him on the boat it neph was apart of that (specifically six and neph, and some type of alternate, since the flood also wiped out Nephilims he had to keep some alive to help him) anyways back to what i was saying sjhfdfh they ended up becoming close and when toon isnt off doing angel or messenger duties hes usually with neph in the garden of eden (same goes with if neph isnt doing something for alt g or something along those lines) after the events of overthrone (if we go by the toonb/riel sand tomb theory i know some people think that was jesus or atleast my roomate hcs this so ) neph wasnt told about what had happened to him and was confused why he was no longer able to find him, noticing that there was definitely something very wrong with the heavens (due to alt gs actions yk) he ends up eventually figuring out what had happened and in a weird time/universe fucky way is able to get toonb/riel out, since its no longer safe at all for toon to exist (and also alt gab doesnt know that he has escaped) he basically is forced to exist within the realm of media in a strange way (BEGINNER BIBLEEEE HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEEHEHE) though this isnt 100% set in stone and it changes but i like to think it would be cool if he is able to exist within the realms of technology as some digital angel OKIE i am SO SO SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG POST i got so giddy and excited at seeing this ask and have been trying my best to figure out how to answere it THANK YOU SO MUCHF OR ASKING ME!!!!!!

[hollisofficial]

49 and 50 for the OC ask game 😎

THANK YOU DAME!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

100% cena, whos entire existence is based around a meme from jr high. hes since became an actual oc with his own serious story, but his roots still remain and i continue to only make fun of him and redraw him over memes. his seriousness can continue to live in only my head.

alternatively: geb, who, if they knew what memes were, would fucking love them.

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU im going to talk abt ttt. forever.

for background: ttt and a decent chunk of other characters only fit into my (human oc) stories via a character named jeanie who can see ghosts. i know. marry sue but i am free<3

ok!! so, ttt is a ghost and hes the second oldest ghost in the story (time on earth wise). my story is set in the way future of (maybe) this world, and ttt is introduced around the time that theres a giant nuclear war and subsequent fallout. while he was alive he was a doomsday prepper which was (for the time) rightfully so. he spends about 5 years living down in a bunker eating a shit ton of shelf stable doomsday prepper stuff. as you can imagine living alone in a concrete hole for years didnt treat him very well mentally, but thats besides the point for now. it will all be erased once he becomes a ghost (and replaced with more trauma). at any rate, he ends up running out of food/water earlier than planned and has to wander out into the wasteland to try to find supplies. he doesnt last too long out there (havent decided on a time but probably a little less than a year). he gets stabbed in the remains of a walmart over a can of beans. and ends up dying.

ttt becomes a ghost! in this universe when people become ghosts its usually for a reason (think unfinished business, need to atone, or have some grander purpose type stuff) but for whatever reason t just got fucked over and wasnt actually supposed to become a ghost. his ghost-ness coincides with a time period where a lot of fucked up things are happening with the deities that are in charge of the solar system and at the time the deities that controlled things like death + fate were MIA. so all in all ttt becoming a ghost was genuinely just a glitch in the system type thing.

because of this ttt is. interesting as a ghost. unlike all other ghosts he doesnt really have an appearance. instead hes just vaguely brown/gray humanoid (ignore the ttt sign on him for now, thats not part of his appearance and i'll get to that later). additionally, t cant remember a single thing about his time as a human nor what his name is, hence the name ttt. i know what his human name is but thats secret information not in the story. most importantly to t's story is that he cant be seen by 99.9% of other ghosts.

the reason behind this fact has to do with the weird mechanics of being a ghost. it kind of works like channels or levels on a tv. when you become a ghost youre randomly given a handfull of 'channels' you can access and this ties into certain powers that ghosts can have. for example: being able to touch a ouija board or mess with radio-frequencies would require you to have access to those two channels- not all ghosts can do so. almost everything runs on channels, even just simple things like 'have an appearance' and 'being seen by others' and 'see others'. theres also an insane number of duplicate channels, so for example one ghost could have quite a large number of 'being seen by others' channels which allows them to be seen by a large number of ghosts that share those channels. conversely, (in ttts case) he only has a few 'being seen by others' channels and quite a few 'see others' so basically he can see other ghosts, but they cant see or interact with him. sorry that was longwinded but i love my ghost mechanics. theres more to the mechanics via a ranking tier system but for the sake of brevity i WILL NOT BE GETTIN INTO THAT.

at any rate. because of weird ghost mechanics and because t was fucked up and wasnt supposed to be a ghost, he cant be seen by almost anybody, but he can still see them. as you can imagine this is horrible. ttt spends centuries wandering through the post-nuked world as a ghost trying to find other ghosts to interact with. as the centuries go on he just slowly loses hope more and more and bitterly resigns himself to the fact that he'll never be able to interact with people in the way that he wants. (small sidenote: despite ttt not having baseline/low level channels like being seen, he does have some fairly high level channels that let him interact with the physical world (think like typical poltergeist stuff like throwing small objects ect). this ofc is not a very good substitute for being able to interact with people).

so anyway, ttt spends centuries being functionally alone again. kinda meant to mirror his time in the bunker. resigning to not being able to mess with anything, ttt just tends to pass the time people watching and trying to entertain himself other ways. one day hes people watching and happens upon a literal murder (theres more to this bc its someone elses story but i wont get too detailed bc its edgy emo). this ofc isnt the first time t's seen something like this and (being a touch bitter abt his unable-to-interact-with-anybody situation), t basically just watches and once the murdered guy's ghost drags himself outta the river t just starts roasting the new ghost for being stupid and getting murdered, thinking he cant be seen or heard.

unfortunately this is the first ghost that can actually see and hear ttt.

the new ghost (whos name is perry) is basically just like. (status: doesnt know hes dead or whats happening) HUH?? WH?? WHO ARE YOU?? ttt proceeds to freak the fuck out bc HOLY SHIT THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAN SEE AND HEAR ME?!? WHAT?!? hes completely elated and brain short circuiting at the same time, so hes falling over his words and trying to explain things and say sorry for being a dick to him (thats the least thing perrys worried about). amongst the confusion perry somehow gets it into his head that ttt is his guardian angel because hes some like shapeless entity that appeared after perry (apparently??) died (perry voice: wh huh what do you mean i got shot???).

they speedrun getting to know each other bc ttts just railroading the conversation bc hes so excited and perrys still on like “my name… its perry right..?” brain . perry sticks with t for a while (still assuming hes his guardian or smth) but it literally only takes like half a night for perry to realize like . ok maybe im wrong . (ttt hotwires a car and drives the two of them around before crashing it [another pastime] and thats when perry kinda decides like . no i dont think this guy is an angel.) (during the carride perry also keeps phasing thru the seat + out of the car bc he cant do ghost stuff yet) (also ttts able to hotwire + drive the car bc touching irl stuff to an extent is one of his aforementioned powers).

oh also, the name ttt came from perry and t's first interaction. perry asked what t's name was and t (who didnt know his name) just made something up on the spot and ttt it was.

after that the two of them just end up constantly being together (bc perry really hasnt met anyone else yet so he doesnt exactly like, know theres others out there . and t is ofc not leaving perrys side). it is very evident that ttt is basically attached at perrys hip and VERY afraid to lose him. i mean, perrys the first person who hes been able to talk to for literal centuries and now that ttt has that lifeline hes clutching to it for dear life.

the more they get to know each other t opens up and lets perry know that like . yea youre the first person thats been able to see me and ive KIIIINDA been alone and unable to interact with anyone for a few thousand years . no big deal or anything (<-guy whos brain was becoming mush from lack of interaction). perry starts to understand just everything t must have been through + why he acts so.. like that. he assures t that theres no way he would leave t behind.

i dont have very much for what the two of them did between their meeting and the current timeline in the story, but basically the two of them fuck around for 400 years or so. sometime during that time perry finds a super old (prewar) magazine ad for fiji and the two of them decide they wanna go. so now their thing is perry constantly is trying to teleport (one of his powers) them to fiji but he cant bc fiji doesnt exist anymore and he keeps (unknowingly) teleporting them to the remnants of old fiji water bottles. theyre on like a mission to find fiji.

eventually, one of such teleporting incidents lead them to meeting the character jeanie by chance, who, by the power of I Say So (and a whole nother plot i wont get into), can see ghosts. perry and t end up staying with jeanie as well as a couple of other ghosts that hang with jeanie (their names ade hummingbird and ekr). the five of them become very found family. the rest of their story becomes the group getting wrapped up in/uncovering weird deity politics and subsequently trying to change jeanie and his friend pattersons fate and keep them from dying.

oh yeah, and the ttt thing on ttt's head is a floating apparition of a stickynote that perry controls so the other two ghosts can tell where ttt is.

more doodles:

[maskedinfinate]

what was that about me being crazy and stuff? maybe yk listen to me at times. anywayssssss i gotta go to the pizzaria after i make one important stoppppp hehehehe..pepperman and i gonnaaaa have little talky talk

oml. anyways hi! what were you doing like..before margarita came over here- and..what was your first impressions on margarita? ALSO (sorry for all these questions) what your opinions on the other bosses?

"Yeah yeah go talk to Peppy- I mean..Pepper all you want, I don't care."

"And uh..What I was doing earlier? I was just sweeping. Gotta keep the emporium clean, amiright?"

"First impressions? Well you'd be surprised that I did not expect Margarita to show up, especially to my performance! Or deathmatch as some called it, which, yeah they were right. Was kinda pissed off that they ended up winning after I went through the trouble of hijacking a whole floor JUST to fight, but, yknow."

"And the other guys? Hoo boy. Well, me and Pepper are basically best buds who just fight a lot, both physically and verbally. He beat me in arm wrestling once, despite me not having any arms, and since then I've been training to suplex him when he least expects it. We became buds cuz he found me eating a whole bucket of paint because I thought it was yogurt, then we kinda talked about how we got our asses kicked by..passionfruit or whatever his name is.

Whos next uh..Vigi? We talk. Moreso familiar than friends. He and Pepper are pretty close, so Vigi hangs out with us a lot. A bit quiet though.

Noise is great! Super fun to gossip with him and Noisette. We're pretty buddy-buddy over the fact that we both hate paisanos guts. Or whatever he calls him. Noisette always has something fun to say too.

Fakey is..interesting. Kinda weird having a clone of your worst enemy as your ally, but, they're nice! Even if they turn into that weird monster thing at times."

"...And our boss?"

"Boy..Boy oh BOY DO I SURE LOVE MY BOSS! YA SEE. I got over there in the first place cuz they were threatening to fire a giant lazer at the ONE restaurant I'M competing with! So, I go over there, get landed some sorta job for the big man, and I was all like 'cool can i have control of the lazer' then HE says 'Oh no silly YOU'RE in charge of getting me coffee 24/7' AS IF THATS THE THING I SIGNED UP FOR. NO! NO I WANTED TO BE IN CHARGE OF THAT DAMN STUPID LAZER SO I COULD BLOW THAT RESTAURANT TO SHREDS BUT NNNOOOOHOHO I HAVE TO BRING SOME LANKY PIZZA MAN COFFEE ALL DAY. OH AND THEN?? THEN WHAT?? WHENEVER WE HAD TO HAVE SOME EMERGANCY MEETING, HE SPEAKS TO EVERYONE NORMALLY, BUT THEN PUTS ON THAT WEIRD VOICE YOU USE FOR PUPPIES OR BABIES WHENEVER HE TALKED TO ME! CUZ I WAS A 'NEWBIE'!! GOD. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. HE DIDNT PUT ME IN CHARGE OF A FLOR, SO I HIJACKED ONE FOR MYSELF. CAUSE I WASNT GETTING OUT OF THAT TOWER, DEAD OR ALIVE, WITHOUT A FIGHT WITH uh.. paper-io or whoever he is."

[pigeonrocks]

okay i need to like. rant about the post campaign in hong kong.

so. its a fun little dlc, the runs are definitely interesting. but that's the only positive thing i have to say about it. i like the writing during the runs and in the beginning. although the ending when

(spoilers for the bonus campaign under the cut. ofc)

the ending when you face off krait is not exactly played well imo. the entire dlcs plot twists aren't done the same way like in the prior games. returns had a better twist imo, although its a tad confusing- but the betrayal twist doesn't hit the same like how the plot twists hit in the main campaign or in any of the other two games in the returns trilogy. like the vauclair twist had me fucked up. but the betrayal by lam or whatever his name was is very flat as a twist. its not like. done extremely well to really not be predicted. you dont see it yeah but if you do a few runs and then go to find krait and then that betrayal happens. its not like. you already dont trust them?? bc they basically gassed you and dug around in your brain. so why do that reveal so quickly?? i feel like closer to the end would've been better bc it builds more of a relationship with him and qui. but it happening early on in the dlc is such an eye roller.

my vice is also the difficulty of the fight before you go and meet the boss. im playing on easy mode and it took me days. i stopped playing for like weeks because i gave up and went to start playing dragonfall. its so weirdly difficult and the final fight with krait isn't anything in comparison. the writing when you confront her aswell just rubs me the wrong way. the entire ending feels so out of character for the characters you bring (i brought racter, duncan & gaichu w me)

like with gaichu for example. both are from the dlc, the lily lai run & meeting krait, but one of them imo feels so much more like gaichu than the latter. and its the run screenshot in this example. it rubs me the wrong way because. i know damn well its gaichu. but it doesn't feel like something gaichu would say. this is a pretty fine example with duncan imo where it kinda? just feels like all the development from the main campaign is tossed aside and it barely makes any sense to me still.

because. again- all of this is my opinion. take this with a grain of salt.

but burning the warehouse is the best option. i dont think mitsuhama should have the weapons that were inside the facility(or anybody. thats wayy too much power. its better off as ash.) so ofc i burned it down but kept qui alive. because. qui will restore duncan's SIN. its so bizarre that this entire dlc has him so focused on carter. i get him being upset but i feel like. theres bigger fish to fry. like. carter doesn't mean anything. hell i forgot about carter. its so weird for Duncan to really only have carter as his motive? i get that they were extremely close but the corrupt police chief who labeled us as terrorists is killing innocent people for no reason. get it the fuck together man come on. what normal life does he want? we dealt with a fucking demon goddess and are marked as fucking terrorists dude. how do you even live a normal life after that?? its been like a week after the main campaign. its so frustrating to me.

like. i completely can understand why hes upset but qui is still fucking alive. she has the power to restore his SIN. i try and pick the options that will land me in the position of a good ending. or the one thats the best in terms of my own morals. killing the feuerschwinge, killing Jessica, burning the facility. makes sense. the feuerschwinge was a great dragon but any other option wasnt a good pick imo. shes suffering so letting the virus do its work, handing her off to apex or just leaving her there is cruel, but releasing her is also strange- considering what she did when she was alive which was reprehensible. i killed dragon. letting jessica live is probably a good option. but shes still behind the end of the world, kidnapping her own niece and Killing her brother. revenge is revenge 🤷 sam wanted me to avenge him and by god did i

but theres no good option in the srhk dlc. yknow? duncan still leaves no matter what you pick. whether thats on good terms or on bad terms depends on what you do. killing qui, burning the facility- or letting her live and handing it over to mitsuhama. or going with duncan to restore your SIN.

maybe its just a me thing. the dlc rubbed me the wrong way with how the characters were written. it just felt?? out of character and weird for the characters to say. i wasn't even sad that duncan left i just got pissed off. at that and the actual ending. where you go back to FUCKING SEATTLE. this shit sucks.

i played the dlc after i beat dragonfall. and in comparison to the main story of hong kong. its very disappointing and underwhelming to me. nor was it fun. ending was pretty lame to me. it didn't do it for me. which is honestly kinda sad. bc i had good expectations after the main campaign and its just. kinda bad. anyways! thanks for reading my long ass rant. not the usual ramble post but i needed to put my thoughts on the srhk dlc somewhere.