#i will talk about it more in-depth one day

[writtenapoiogy]

home; jacaerys velaryon

pairing: jacaerys velaryon x f!reader

summary: 'You were 20 weeks pregnant when Jacaerys and the Queen had deemed Dragonstone no longer safe for you and the babe. You were to be sent to Winterfell where your safety would be secured. Or so Jace thought.'

word count: 3.8k

warnings: nsfw, 18+, smut, MINORS DNI, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, pregnancy sex, slight hair pulling, some dirty talk, jace is obsessed with readers belly, ALSO-- ANGST, pregnancy, miscarriage, blood, hurt and comfort, and sadness PROBABLY SOME OTHER STUFF I FORGOT

a/n: i don't go too in-depth about the miscarriage but it is known that she has one ALSO THIS IS THE MOST IVE WRITTEN EVER???? yall it took me TEN days to write this... anyway i hope you guys enjoy it <333

You stood watching the Dragons soar above the castle. Your hands sat clasped under your growing belly. You heard footsteps approach from behind you. You were pleased to see Jacaerys yet shocked to see the Queen trailing closely behind. You didn’t see Rhaenyra much unless she had matters to discuss involving the war— more specifically what you could do to help.

“Jace,” you smiled before curtsying to Rhaenyra. “Your grace. Is everything all right?”

Jace came up beside you and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. His hand came to rest on your belly; something he did regularly since you two found out you were with child.

Rhaenyra smiled at the happy couple. “How’s the babe, Princess?” Her question was genuine. She was very happy for you and the prince.

You smiled and placed your hand on top of Jace’s, “He’s moving a lot more.”

“He?” The Queen exclaimed.

Jacaerys chimed in, “The princess believes we are having a boy. I think it is a girl.”

Though it was nothing but harmless small talk you couldn’t help but think there was something more they came up here to talk to you about. “Not that I don’t enjoy your presence, your grace, but I can’t help but wonder if there is some other reason you came up here with my husband.”

Jace stepped away from you and you looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. A feeling of worry and impending doom took over. The worst of the worst flooded your thoughts. You took a deep breath, “Was there a raven from the North? I-is my brother okay?” You tried to remain calm but the thought alone had you hyperventilating.

“Hey, hey. Shhh.” Jacaerys cupped your face to calm you down. “Everything is alright, my love. Everything is safe up north.” More than one meaning was behind his words. He kissed your forehead as you caught your breath before you had a panic attack. “Which is why you must go.”

What? You must’ve not heard the prince correctly.

“Beg your pardon?” Your eyes went from your husband to his mother quickly. The Queen, however, did not move. She let you and the prince talk this through.

Jacaerys grabbed your attention again. “You are not safe here. Neither of you.” He looked down at your belly. Worry dripped from his words. After losing Lucerys he couldn’t survive if he lost you too— the both of you. What is a man without his wife and child?

“Yet Dragonstone is safe for you?” You couldn’t believe what he was saying. You are going through something that should be faced together as a couple. Together as a family.

Jace took a deep breath. It was going to be harder to convince you than he originally thought. “It’s different.”

“How? How is it different, Jacaerys?” You quipped

“Because you cannot fight. We don’t need you to fight. I don’t need you to fight. I just need you and our future prince or princess to be safe. And that is not here. It cannot be here.” Jacaerys’ words punched a hole in your chest.

You felt so useless. You knew how to fight. It was one of your favorite pastimes with Cregan. But due to you being with child, it seemed to have left you feeling worthless. You stormed past the two of them, heading inside the castle.

You headed down a corridor for your bedchamber with hot tears running down your cheeks.

Rhaenyra was quick to follow you inside.“Princess,” the queen spoke gaining your attention. “Every day that that babe grows and flourishes inside of you, you are helping my claim and your husbands. You’re helping us win. That is why we need you in Winterfell, with your brother and his men, so that you will be safe.” Rhaenyra and Jacaerys had spoken about this before they came outside to find you. They knew that this was the best way to secure your family’s future. They just needed you to see that too.

She was right. You had the crown prince’s child growing within you. And keeping you safe is keeping the baby safe. “Okay, your grace. I will go.” You continued, rubbing your belly. “For our protection.”

“It must be tonight, Princess. Once you are farther along it will be too dangerous for you to fly.”

You nodded at your queen and headed to your chambers to gather what things you could.

Within hours you were atop Vermax, your arms wrapped tightly around your husband. The air grew crisp and cold as you flew closer to Winterfell. You buried your face into Jace’s shoulder. You inhaled his scent, never wanting him to leave you. You knew that this was necessary. You held part of the succession to the Iron Throne inside of you.

You landed fairly close to the entrance of Winterfell. You embraced the cold air then you looked at Jacaerys who looked as if he might turn into a popsicle at any given moment.

Cregan called your name as you walked through the doors into Winterfell with the prince by your side. You picked up your pace and threw your arms over your older brother’s shoulders. It had been a while since you last saw him. He squeezed you tightly. After your brother had passed, it was always the two of you. Protecting and comforting each other.

After separating from your embrace you both looked at Jace.

“Could we go inside? Preferably by a warm freshly lit hearth?” The crown prince’s teeth chattered together. His arms wrapped around his chest to preserve heat.

“Always a dramatic to our cool air, my prince.” Cregan jested.

Jacaerys scoffed, “Cool is drastically an understatement, my lord. Sea breeze is cool. This is whatever the complete opposite of dragon fire would be.”

You tried and failed to bite back your smile as you stuck your hand out to Jace. “C’mon my icicle.”

You and Cregan had convinced Jace to stay for supper and to spend one night in the castle before heading back down south.

You were in your nightclothes, standing in front of a warm fire. So much had happened in just a day. Your day had started in Dragonstone and had ended in Winterfell. All you could think about as you looked into the flames was your future with Jacaerys. What the future would hold when this dreadful war was over. What life would be like with your little family on Dragonstone.

Jacaerys walked up behind you and brought his hands to rest on your plump belly. He placed feather-light kisses on your neck, making you relax into him. He rutted his hips against your arse. You felt his hardness against you.

“Jacaerys.” You warned. You brought your hand to the back of his head when the kisses to your neck got rougher. You spun around and as you went to slot your lips together, Jacaerys began to back away pulling you with him. He made you yearn for his kiss, a devilish smirk adorning his face.

You followed him entranced. You climbed into his lap as he sat on the bed. Jace rid you of your gown. Your arms fell to his shoulders, using him to steady yourself. He wrapped a strong arm across your back. He ran his unoccupied hand across your full stomach before running his hand up to cup your plump breast.

You let a whine out at your husband’s touch. His hands left a trail of molten lava on every inch of you they touched. You’ve been ultrasensitive to his touch recently. “Someone will hear us.”

“I do not care,” Jacaerys said bringing his hand to the nape of your neck, pulling you down to smash your lips together. He didn’t know the next time he would see you after tonight. He was going to make sure he left an imprint. He moved his head down giving you a second to breathe. Your foreheads rested together. “I am the crown prince. I will have my wife when I so please.”

You moaned, snaking a hand to the back of the prince’s head to pull his head back. He groaned in response. You felt wetness pool in your smallclothes. Staring down at the pale skin on his outstretched neck. You quickly made work of ridding him of the thin shirt. Not even bothering with removing his pants completely, you only freed his hardened length.

The two of you stared down at your hand wrapped around the top of his shaft. Jacaerys’ slick smirk faltered when you began to pump him slowly. The tip of his cock hit your stomach, eliciting a moan from the dark-haired boy. Droplets of precome dripping from the head, smearing on your stomach.

Your breath hitched, “Jace. I need you.”

“Then take me, darling.”

You let out a low whimper. You lifted your hips and ran his member down your folds til he reached your entrance. You leaned your forehead against his. You began to sit on his hardness. Feeling his cock enter you deliciously slow.

Jacaerys helped guide you down. You tensed, the burn from his size becoming too much.

Running a soothing hand along your spine, “Breath, my love. It is nothing you haven’t had before.” Jace rasped against your lips.

You took a deep breath in and tilted your forehead against Jacaerys’. You moaned as you exhaled—his cock had begun to slip inside of you as you adjusted to his size.

“That’s it. That’s my girl.” he moaned as he slid completely into you. He adjusted his grip so that his hands were at the base of your bottom, assisting you.

“Jace.” You whimpered feeling so full it was overwhelming. So full of him. So consumed by him. He was all around you. He was completely inside of you, everywhere. You carried his babe inside of you. His blood practically ran in your veins.

“Yes.” He groaned.

You attempted to move your hips to the best of your ability. But you were beginning to realize that your condition was going to be hindering your mobility. Especially while in bed with your husband. “I can’t anymore. I’m too-,” You tried to get out your words, exasperated by the difficulty this was causing you.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jace reassured you. He helped move you so that you could lay on your side. After placing you on the bed he stripped the rest of his clothes off of his body.

He laid behind you so that the two of you were spooning. “You are so perfect.” Jacaerys praised you as he placed chaste kisses from your shoulder to your cheek and then to your neck.

You hummed at the words that left your husband’s mouth. You lifted your leg so he could guide his cock to your entrance. He slowly began to press into you, his hand which was once on his member, moved to your hip to completely push into you.

Jace had to squeeze his eyes shut hard to make sure he didn’t come too quickly. Your wet walls welcomed him in. They pulled him deep within your warmth. “Your sweet cunt is all mine, pretty.” He said into your ear, his voice coming out hoarse. He started to slowly thrust into you. He was so tender with you.

Jace had your walls clamping down on him within minutes. The angle at which he was rocking into you, made his cockhead hit that sweet spot deep inside of you leaving you a complete whimpering mess. You swear you could feel every detail of his member. The slight curve it had. And the vein that ran up the side— which you loved to trace with your tongue.

“Fuck.” He groaned into your ear. His hand moved to hold on to your belly, spurring his thrusts. He pumped into you harder now. He loved seeing the results of his actions. Seeing his seed having taken root and growing a beautiful life inside of you. It drove Jacaerys absolutely insane.

“Jace, it’s so-, Fuck!” You yelped at one particularly sharp thrust.

Jace brought his hand down to your sensitive cluster of nerves and drew figure eights. His hips snapped against your arse relentlessly. He loved the noises he was pulling from you as you attempted to keep quiet.

You turned your head back to face your husband as you felt your body begin to convulse. He covered your swollen lips as you let out a drawn-out mewl as you came. Pulsing around him, milking him for all he was worth.

The push and pull of your cunt caused his release to hit him hard and unexpectedly. He moaned into your mouth. He covered your walls in searing hot come. You two lapped your tongues at the others as Jace continued to slowly pump into you. Making sure he had emptied himself completely inside of you.

You winced as Jace pulled out. You hated the feeling of being empty, being without him.

He cleaned you up and you cuddled. One last night before gods knew how long.

One moon had passed since you last saw Jacaerys. And though you had not seen him, you had received a letter from him every other day. He expressed how much he missed and loved you deeply. How much he missed rubbing and kissing your belly. He worried the babe would forget his voice.

He told you that his uncles had been keeping a close look at the skies and that flying to you on a regular basis would do nothing but endanger the both of you. But he promised to fly to you when the babe arrived. He would be there for you. No matter what he would find a way.

You decided to take a stroll, needing a break from the interior of the castle. You were beginning to feel woozy and a change of scenery should do the trick. You had just begun your walk when your brother approached you. “Sister. What are your plans for this afternoon?”

“Read, and read, and then probably read some more.” You joked with the taller man.

Cregan smiled warmly. “What if I knew something fun we could do that does not involve dusty old books?”

“And what would that be dear brother?” You had missed your brother and your people. You knew no one other than Jacaerys down south.

He leaned down, closer to you, “Hunting.” Cregan said in a hushed whisper.

“Hunting? In my condition?” You could’ve let out an obscene laugh, but you didn’t. That would’ve been absurd for a princess.

“Our ancestors had been doing it for centuries. You don’t even have to get close to the animals.” Cregan bumped into your shoulder. “You always had a natural talent with a long bow.”

He was being truthful, however, you hadn’t picked up a bow or, any weapon for that matter, since you began your courtship with Jacaerys. That skill you once had probably dwindled to nothing. “Fine. Under one condition.”

“Anything. I have missed my sister, dearly.”

Your lips upturned into a smile, “We must stay close. If Jace sends a raven or by the grace of the Gods flies in, then I want to be near.”

“Deal.”

The two of you stepped just outside the gates of Winterfell. A quiver weighed heavy against your back, and your longbow sat comfortably on your shoulder. You welcomed the crisp air against your face. The war beams from the sun greeting your cheeks. Oh, how you missed the North. The South was beautiful but it would never compare— it would never quite feel like home.

You and your brother forgone your horses for this hunt since he promised you you would stay close to the wall. You missed hunting. You missed having a bow in your hands. The adrenaline rush it gave was unlike any other.

You were about a quarter mile from the gates when something felt terribly wrong. Cregan turned towards you as he heard your footfalls cease.

Your bow fell, your hands dropping down to your stomach. “Somethings wrong.” You blanched. You turned behind you and looked down noticing a trail of blood. “Cregan..” You gasped and just as you were about to collapse your brother rushed towards you, catching you in his arms.

Cregan had one arm under your knees and the other behind your back. He ran all the way back to the castle yelling for them to open the gates. His heart was pounding. He couldn’t lose his sister like this. He made it to your bedchamber with the Maester Kennet following closely behind.

As Cregan placed you in your bed the Maester tended to you swiftly. You moaned in pain. “This can’t be happening.”

“How far along is she?”

You spoke before your brother had the chance, “We only found out two moons ago.” Your sentence finished with a loud groan.

Cregan stood there frozen watching you in pain. His first wife had suffered a terrible fate at the birth of his son. But you were his baby sister and he needed to be there for you in the absence of your husband. He ran to your side taking a warm wet cloth from one of the handmaidens, dabbing it on your forehead.

“Send a raven to Jace. Please.” You said hoarsely to your brother.

“He won’t get it in time.”

“But he will get it. Please just tell him it is urgent. I need him here. I do not care.” You moaned in pain, lurching forward. “CREGAN GO PLEASE!”

The lord rushed down the hall, your screams fading. He quickly found a sheet of paper and wrote a message to the prince hoping he would receive it faster than normal.

“Where is she.”

When the prince arrived in Winterfell, he immediately sought Cregan. Finding him in the Great Hall. The letter Jacaerys received told him something was wrong with the babe and that he needed to come to the North as soon as he possibly could.

“She’s at the godswood.” Cregan looked destroyed. “She refuses to leave.”

Jacaerys went into the woods inside of Winterfell with a lantern since it was the dead of night— and way too cold for you to be out here in any state.

You didn’t turn your head when he called out your name nor when he placed his hand on your shoulder.

“Please look at me.” He pleaded. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that without me. I’m sorry we were apart.”

You turned to him sharply. Bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “We were apart because you decided. You sent me away. You sent me away to go through this alone.” Venom dripped from your words, not hiding your pain.

“I sent you home so you would be safe. So you could bear this child in a safe environment with your family.” Jace tried his hardest to make you understand why he did what he did. “I did what I thought was best.”

“And how did that work out Jacaerys?” You knew you shouldn’t be mad at him. It was a great loss for you both, but you needed to direct your anger, your hurt somewhere. “You are my home. I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

“I didn’t know this would happen. The queen needed me and she needed my dragon.” He let out an exasperated breath. “This war needs me!”

“More than I? Your wife?” Your words stung him. Tears welt up in his eyes, seeing you like this. Hearing you speak to him like this.

“Please,” Your name fell from his lips.

“You cannot believe that to be true.” You finally reached out and grabbed Jacaerys’ hands, pleading. “Just stay here with me. That way we don’t have to be apart again. We can guarantee each other’s safety.”

“I can’t.” The regret in his eyes was evident. He knew you needed his comfort. Husband and wife shouldn’t be separated the way you have been. He, however, feels that pull to the war. Jace will not be seen as the princeling who didn’t fight for his kingdom or his people. What kind of king would that make him in the future?

“Jacaerys, you can. Your mother has plenty of men to fight for her. She sent your brothers away for their safety. Why would she deny you the same luxury?”

“Their dragons aren’t grown-,” Jace began.

You cut him off, “And Vermax is?”

Jace exclaimed your name, frustrated, “Sending me away with Vermax means my mother is losing another dragon and dragon rider in a war between dragons.” He tried to compose himself not to raise his voice at you. “We cannot sit here and argue when there is a war going on. We just lost our child! I do not want to sit here and argue with my wife when I should be holding her.”

Your face softens. “So stay and hold me Jace. You can fly off with my brother in tow when the time comes. When you are needed. But for now, I need you here. I need you with me. Just come home. Your mother has to understand that. More than anyone. She should understand that.”

“I am home. Anywhere I am with you, I am home. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

You brought your hands up to his face, his face resting in your palm. The two of you were so young. Only ten and seven. He placed his hands on your back and closed the distance between you both. You and Jace relaxed into the kiss. Millions of emotions poured into one kiss.

You pulled yourself away from his lips. “There is something I want to show you.” You took his hand and walked him behind the beautiful weirwood tree. At the bottom of the stomp laid a carving of a baby girl.

Jacaerys gasped. “Is that-,” He started.

“Our beautiful little girl.”

He tried to hold his composure but it hurt so much. He blamed himself. A thousand maybes and what-ifs clouded his mind. He fell to his knees and traced the carving. “I am so sorry.” Jace started to sob.

You fell to the floor and embraced him. “Jace this isn’t your fault. There has been a lot going on. Maester Kennet said it could’ve happened no matter where I was. I was under a lot of stress, Jace. We are in the middle of a war.” You pulled away and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

He pulled you so that you were sitting in his lap. He held you tight, almost suffocating. “I love you. This will never happen again. We will never grieve a loss like this apart.”

“I love you most, Husband.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and buried your face into his neck.

“I won’t leave you again.”

“Good.”

divider creds: @cafekitsune

[reidmania]

soon, you’ll get better | s. reid

summary; when spencer decides to get help for his addiction, you are right by his side the entire time, even when you are both more scared than you’ll admit.

warnings; fem!reader, early seasons spencer (s2) mentions of addiction, withdrawals, getting help, hurt x comfort, its kinda really fluffy though, mentions of tobias hankel, references possible overdosing, (nobody overdoses, reader is just afraid of it happening) this is comfort, pure spencer comfort tbh.

an; heart BROKEN guys. this one hurt. remember you are not alone.

‘I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky, I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try. And I'll say to you, soon you'll get better, soon you'll get better, you'll get better soon, 'cause you have to. And I hate to make this all about me but who am i supposed to talk to? What am i supposed to do, if theres no you?’

You sit beside him, your hand resting gently on his, feeling the tension pulsing through his skin. Spencer's fingers twitch, as though his body is having a silent argument with itself—one part of him wants to hold on to you, to feel your comfort, and the other part is restless, needing something more than your touch can provide. You know what that something is. It’s been between the two of you for weeks now, an unspoken weight that has grown heavier with each passing day.

The hospital waiting room is quiet, but inside your head, it feels deafening. Your eyes flicker to the clock on the wall. The seconds drag on, and you know he feels every single one of them. You squeeze his hand lightly, drawing his attention back to you. His eyes meet yours, wide and anxious, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. You see it all—the fear, the shame, the self-loathing. But beyond that, buried underneath, you still see the man you love.

"You're doing the right thing," you whisper, your voice soft, barely louder than the ticking clock.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His lips part, but no words come out. You don’t push him. You’ve learned that sometimes, silence is safer for him. His mind is always moving, always analyzing, always thinking ten steps ahead, but right now, he’s fragile. His brilliance can’t help him here. And that’s what scares him the most.

You lean in, pressing your forehead against his, grounding him in the moment. “I’m so proud of you,” you say, and you feel him exhale, just slightly. The warmth of his breath touches your lips, and for a brief second, you feel that connection again—the one that always makes you believe everything will be okay, as long as you're together.

It was difficult, sitting here and pretending like you weren’t scared. You were, you wondered if you had a right to be scared. Spencer was the love of your life, you had never once questioned that — and seeing him like this, well it wasn’t easy. Being here, wasn’t easy.

Spencer closes his eyes, a shudder running through his body. He grips your hand tighter, the pressure almost painful, but you don’t pull away. You want him to know you’re here, that you’re not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.

A nurse walks by, and Spencer's eyes snap open, his body stiffening. You can feel his heart rate spike, the anxiety flaring up again.

“I can’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. His voice is tight, strangled, like he’s holding back something that threatens to choke him.

“Yes, you can,” you reply gently, running your thumb over his knuckles in slow, soothing circles. “Please.”

It was a plea, a genuine plea. You tried to be strong for his sake, he needed someone. You were his person, you would always be. But he was also your person — and the idea that if he didn’t get help you could lose him one way or another terrified you. It caused a genuine ache in your chest at just the thought of him not being him, or not being around at all. You couldn’t lose him, not at the hands of tobias hankel.

He stares at you, searching your face for something—maybe reassurance, maybe strength. You aren’t sure if he finds it, but he nods, his breath coming out in shaky bursts.

The doctor calls his name. The sound makes him flinch, and for a moment, you think he might bolt. You can see it in his posture, the way his muscles tense, his body preparing to flee. But then your hand tightens around his, and he looks at you again. And you know he’s staying because of you.

Together, you stand, and you walk beside him as he follows the doctor into the office. His steps are slow, reluctant, but each one is a small victory. When you sit down in the small room, the doctor’s eyes flicker between the two of you—taking in Spencer’s pale, trembling form and the way you hold onto him as if he might disappear.

The doctor speaks softly, his voice calm and measured. You hear him explain the treatment plan, the options for managing withdrawal, the therapy that Spencer will need. It all sounds clinical, distant, like the words are coming from a place Spencer can’t quite reach.

You glance at him, watching the way his jaw clenches and unclenches, the way his eyes dart around the room, not settling on anything for too long. His mind is miles away, you can tell. But you’re here, anchored in this moment for both of you.

“Spence,” you say softly, turning to face him. He doesn’t respond at first, lost in the cacophony of his own thoughts. So, you reach out, brushing your fingers against his cheek. His eyes snap back to you, and you see the vulnerability in them, the sheer weight of everything he’s been carrying.

“We’ll take it one step at a time,” you remind him. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

His lower lip trembles, and for a second, you think he might cry. But he doesn’t. Spencer’s never been one to break easily, even when he should. You wish he would sometimes, just so he wouldn’t have to hold it all inside.

The doctor gives you both a moment, stepping out of the room to let the words sink in. Spencer drops his head into his hands, his shoulders slumping as though the world is pressing down on him with all its weight.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

You scoot closer, pulling him into your arms, cradling his head against your chest. His body relaxes, just a little, as if the touch of your skin can quiet the chaos in his mind.

“You deserve everything good in this world,” you tell him, stroking his hair gently. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m broken,” he breathes, the words thick with self-reproach.

You shake your head, holding him tighter. “You’re not broken, Spence. You’re just…hurting. And that’s okay. You’ll get better. You have to.”

Maybe it was a plea, maybe reassurance, you weren’t even sure. Spencer was single handedly the strongest person you knew, he didn’t deserve what had happened to him — nobody did. The signs had been there for a while, you noticed the change instantly and you tried to brush it off as him coping, but when it got to the point where you knew there was more, without a doubt — you had the conversation.

It took some convincing, and a few weeks before he even approached the idea — he denied for a while. You let him. You could only help him as much as he allowed you to, but then when he nudged you gently in bed one night and broke down — he wanted help, and you were happy to provide him with as much as you could, which also meant getting more help.

His arms wrap around your waist, clinging to you as though you’re his lifeline. And in a way, you are. But you know he’s yours too. You’ve never loved anyone the way you love Spencer—so deeply, so completely. He’s flawed, yes. But so are you.

When the doctor returns, you help Spencer sit up, though he keeps one hand resting on your knee, as if needing to stay tethered to you. You listen carefully as the doctor outlines the next steps, and this time, Spencer listens too. He’s scared, you can tell, but he’s fighting. For himself. For you. For what you both have.

And when you leave the office, walking back through the waiting room, you feel a shift. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but it’s there. Spencer’s steps are still hesitant, still burdened, but there’s a determination now. He’s facing it. He’s facing himself. And you’re right there beside him, as you always will be.

As you step out into the crisp evening air, Spencer pauses. He turns to you, his eyes soft, vulnerable, but this time, there’s a flicker of hope.

“I love you,” he says quietly, the words shaky but sincere.

You smile, your heart swelling. “I love you too.”

And in that moment, with the world quiet around you, “You will get better Spence.”

[raphaelesbian]

Day 24 - Favorite Villain (a Saki and Yoshi analysis)

Okay friends. Rubs my hands together evilly. I love 2012 Splinter and Shredder. Like, they are by FAR the most fascinating iteration of both characters—raised as brothers, both completely unaware that Saki is a member of an enemy clan, a clan that the Hamato categorically DESTROYED. It leaves Shredder with a very sympathetic story, and portrays the Hamato as, at BEST, incredibly morally grey. And I think that is so fun! It makes the Foot/Hamato conflict in the main story much richer to me, as it’s a very PERSONAL story. The Hamato and Foot have been in conflict for centuries, but it rarely feels like that is the catalyst for their interactions in present, y’know?

But so much of their story is left vague. Which I, perhaps in the minority, actually really like! I love having the puzzle of it all. It makes sense to me that Splinter doesn’t talk about the situation in much depth, despite his overall openness with his sons about his past as a human. I think the conflict with Saki hurts, and it’s just. More than they really need to know. As it becomes relevant, he explains, but he doesn’t sit them down and regale them with the story of Saki and Yoshi. The closest we get to that is in Vengeance is Mine (S2E22), where he sits with Karai and explains what happened between them. However, even then it is implied that he’s leaving a lot out I think. This is the transcript:

Splinter: The bitter feud between the Hamato and Foot clans lasted centuries. Oroku Saki was the son of the enemy, but he was just a child, so my father gave him shelter. We were raised as brothers and rivals in all things, as brothers are. But that rivalry soon turned bitter when we met Tang Shen, your mother. Jealousy became hatred when Saki learned of his true heritage. He swore vengeance and rebuilt the Foot clan. One night, Oroku Saki struck. The blow that was meant for me struck your mother instead. Shredder blamed me, and in his rage, he burned our home to the ground, leaving me to my fate. 

Very short and to-the-point. But something that stood out to me was what we see in the flashback while he’s talking. He says “The bitter feud lasted centuries,” and we see this:

He says “Oroku Saki was the son of the enemy, but he was just a child, so my father gave him shelter,” and we see this:

We, as viewers, can pretty easily infer that the Hamato attacked the Foot, very violently! He speaks about a long feud, but does not actually reference any specific incident. But the on-screen flashback does. Similarly, he says that Saki was “just a child,” but then shows Hamato Yuuta (their father) standing over him, surrounded by flames and bodies, with his swords drawn. The implication being that Yuuta made the choice, in that moment, to not kill him. Which is a far less passive action than what Splinter states. 

Shredder, of course, we know is pretty delusional, so he says very little of substance on the situation. The interesting part about him is what it says about his psyche and interpretation of it all, but I digress. 

Beyond flashbacks, we have Tale of the Yokai, where we actually get to SEE young Yoshi and Saki. One of my favorite episodes by far—seeing what they were like before everything got BAD bad is really fun, and also gives a lot of insight into their relationship. But the timeline of it was very intriguing to me. Because it is the day before and then the day of Saki’s revenge on the Hamato. Okay, cool. 

This is not where he learns of his heritage. He KNEW his true heritage already going into the episode. 

And he’s still living with them. 

Some nebulous amount of time passed between him learning he was an Oroku and him killing all of the Hamato, and during that time he continued to train with Yoshi, Yuuta continued to call them brothers and received no pushback, etc. That’s not what you would expect, right? And I don’t think Saki learned the truth and kept it a secret or anything. When this happens:

Yoshi: Take Miwa and go, Shen. Shen: [worriedly] But, Yoshi, Saki, please! You are brothers. Saki: [coldly] No, we were never blood. Yoshi: [to Shen; sternly, but calmly] Shen, go now.

Neither Yoshi nor Shen react with any confusion at Saki’s statement. They know that he isn’t related already.

(Also, sidebar, the line immediately after this: 

Saki: How can one love and hate someone so fiercely? [Raising his Tekko-kagi claws in a fighting stance.] Yoshi: If your desire is to fall by my hand, brother,[Putting his hands behind his back.] so be it.

He’s not talking about Shen here, change my mind)

Okay, but then, when DID he figure it all out? That has been my question, and I think I kind of pieced it together watching Vengeance is Mine. Timeline:

“Jealousy became hatred when Saki learned of his true heritage.” He learned the truth AFTER Shen left Saki for Yoshi. Here’s the relevant flashback image:

This is just a very interesting frame to me. Saki pointing at them, Yoshi glaring back at him, both with their fists clenched and their shoulders hiked. A very tense situation! What were they saying? Was Yoshi defending their dad’s choices? Was Saki lumping him in with their parents’ generation, and Yoshi was pushing back on it? Was Yoshi refusing to believe him at all? Shen looks shocked, while Yoshi looks more defensive than surprised; however, we also know that Yoshi is a hotheaded guy, so he could’ve been thrown by the situation and reacted with aggression. (These questions were the catalyst for my most recent fic lmao)

Which brings me to the one other real flashback/story we get from Splinter about them (that I can remember, please remind me if there’s more!), from Turtle Temper (S1E3). Splinter tells Raph a story about a time he lost his temper:

Splinter: Her name was Tang Shen, and I was not the only one who loved her. There was another man competing for her attention. Oroku Saki. Shredder. One day, he insulted me in front of her. He called me many things. I felt I could not let those insults go unanswered. I lost my temper. And over time, our rivalry festered into hatred, until Shredder sought to finish me, and I lost my beloved Tang Shen. Raph: But . . . but it wasn't your fault. Shredder insulted you. You had no choice. Splinter: No choice? I could have chosen to ignore him. I could have chosen to let his words wash over me like a river over stone. But I let him anger me. It was I who made his words into weapons. That's the choice I made. What choice will you make?

This is obviously super early in the series, so there’s some weirdness here. Referring to Saki as just “another man competing for her attention,” no mention of the Hamato/Foot rivalry, etc. But still, the flashback has this image:

Which, you may notice, is the EXACT same frame from Vengeance. Now, obviously, this could just be laziness, BUT. If you interpret them as having been the same incident, I think that’s very intriguing! Assuming Yoshi is telling the truth for both flashbacks, just with varying amounts of detail, Saki insulted him here, and that led to a physical altercation. Was the insult ABOUT the Hamato clan's past? Did Saki storm in and start yelling about the murder of the Oroku, and Yoshi reacted by losing his temper? Or was Yoshi perhaps trying to calm him down, Saki insulted him personally, and Yoshi attacked him in response? There’s a lot of different ways this could’ve gone, but I think looking at the two as the same thing is like. I Am Looking Intently. 

Which then leads me to the timeline. I think they look about the same age in that section of the flashback as they do later, where Saki takes the Hamato down, so my guess is he wasn’t rebuilding the Foot too awful long. But it also couldn’t have been too short—there was enough time for him to build the Foot up pretty strong, AND it seems that there isn’t much awkwardness or animosity between Saki and Yoshi/Shen/Yuuta. My guess is a few years have passed, long enough for everyone to THINK Saki got over it. 

Which??? Is that not INSANE to think about?? I mentioned it earlier but just. Again. Saki learned that he’s adopted, learned that his adoptive family killed his bio family, and then continued to live with them and go about his life. For potentially a few years!! Like it could’ve been less time, obviously, we have literally no idea. But I just feel like, for him to have a whole actual Foot clan ready-to-go to massacre the Hamato, that takes time. Plus, I assume for that fight that Shen and Yoshi weren’t already married + Miwa, just from the way Splinter talks about it (though that’s loose since, as mentioned earlier, he isn’t always the most upfront). Plus, for everyone to be so chill with Saki? Like I just don’t think it’s fresh. I think he played the long con here. With his family. And none of them had a clue. 

Anywayyyyy. I was mostly just very excited to have pieced those flashbacks together lmao, and I need more people thinking about the implications of what we know (and what we DON’T) about their backstory. 2012 Splinter and Shredder you are everything to me. 

[cocolacola]

maybe im being delusional from sleepiness but literally why does nobody in this fucking fandom actively talk about Girlycard. does she not exist to us anymore outside of like, 2 shitposts

[bookishdaze]

How much time needs to pass before it's appropriate for the apes from Eagle Clan to start making "send the flood" jokes?

[trobedistic]

hello trobed nation !!! i don't have a trobed edit for u today but i DO offer trobed rambles because i'm trying to do hw but i can't stop thinking about them so i need to get them out of my brain

from really early on, like, a few episodes into s1, troy wanted to be friends with abed SO badly and that is so incredibly important to me?

in advanced criminal law (s1 ep 5), abed makes up an elaborate prank about being an alien from another planet to mess with and get closer to troy, and troy tells him "from now on, abed, friend's don't mess with each other. okay?" and troy proceeds to initiate their signature handshake

and we know from cooperative polygraphy (s5 ep 4), that troy watched a video showing how to do a handshake with your best friend. he wanted to be friends with abed SO early in the show, best friends even, and it physically hurts me that we don't see that more in the beginning ☹️

this is purely self projecting but it's so important to me that we see an allistic person be so interested in an autistic person, especially when we see it more from troy's perspective, because we get to see how MUCH he cares about abed. as an autistic person it's not something usually shown in media and it definitely isn't something i habe a lot of experience with, so it's nice to see an autistic person be autistic without it ever being mocked or ridiculed

that's all i have to say for now . lineup for evening kisses trobed nation i love u all 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

Jon becoming KiTN in Winds (specifically) would actually be bad as far as themes go

[codexbrainhasbrokenfree]

what is yakuza even about

[rainbow-crane]

Trigger Happy Havoc may be the part of the franchise I talk about the least in Junko's analysis(after V3 ofc lol). Which is funny considering that's her first real appearance but like, it's also just the start of everything we learn about her and you get the real meat from DR 0 and beyond

[bumblingbabooshka]

If 'Resolutions' happened with Chakotay & Tuvok they would have made a beautiful home down there on that planet. It'd be Better Homes & Gardens material by the time they left. If it happened with Tuvok & Janeway it'd just be the captain running around barefoot chasing a monkey while Tuvok grew flowers and made comments about her not tracking dirt into the house after he just cleaned the floors.

[heloflor]

Btw I played Paper Mario 64 recently and just finished it last week, three takeaways from it:

1. Bowser is a delight of a character no matter the game, he’s hilarious and I love how hard he’s trying when “courting” Peach.

2. Peach was the absolute MVP of that game and amazing proof that you don’t need to know how to fight to play a vital role in a story.

3. The Kolorados need to divorce already.

8.5/10 Really good game!

[katyspersonal]

11, 17, and 21 for Micolash!

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Although I liked him from the start, the "falling in love" did not happen instantly! Especially because my primal Bloodborne exposure was within an extremely small and secluded group, in which a snobbish near-Redditor friend would condemn "cringey Tumblr girls crushes" XD I was a little nervous upon realising that my attraction and curiosity to Micolash was only growing with every day, that I kept checking the same fanarts of him every day. I was not thrilled to feel judged so I was in denial and forged exclusively lorediggey interest. And then I just took my confidence back with this meme that started it all:

Basically, there was no particular trigger, but instead, everything I've learned about this character became planted seeds, and yet they sprouted and kept growing. My own wild, unhinged imagination and daydreaming was the water, good fanart and headcanons were the sunlight. Ironically though, this same friend helped to nourish it; he is very good at making impressions of characters and I asked him to write as Micolash in my starvation for more dialogue. It was so in-character that it did feel like getting extra script of Mico's lines.

17) Have you ever felt physical pain over this character? (ex: physical heartache).

Yeah... I am a little ashamed of it, but ey. No need to beat myself up for how my brain is wired? I've had two times of unexplainable nausea (as it, I was not sick or poisoned) because of this man! Both times happened after a particularly striking dream revolving around him. I also sometimes got strong headaches because of him, when I was spiralling into thinking about him too much!

21) Are your feelings about this character platonic, romantic, or familial? All of these feelings at once maybe?

All of these in this order of development, and currently all of these at once. Like I said, I was instantly fascinated by him, then it grew into a strong crush.. And, strangely enough, whereas I instantly latched onto Rom, kinned her even, and shipped Romicolash, my brain involuntarily imagined an OC that I could project onto more than onto Rom, yet that'd be his sister. So, I had a chance to imagine myself being with him, and yet threw it away for familial relationship instead? This is a part of the many years long string of strange self-sabotages, in which whenever I fell hard for a fictional character I'd "ruin my chances" by making their sexuality exclude me, or inventing any other way why we could not be together even in my dreams. What scares me so? But hey, at least I had Rom, right? .....right?

Wrong. Meet the description I've glossed over at first, but that changed everything when @val-of-the-north convinced me to really peer into it all like 'ohhhh whooo could they beeee?'. Given the context, the description could be referring to Micolash and Rom, and my lore brain instantly picked up 500+ canon-fitting clues and explanations for why it absolutely made sense. I was delighted by it. I was frustrated by it. I felt like a genius that deciprehered a mystery that fandom did not see for 6-7 years. I knew Romicolash shippers would shy away from me for that one and I felt lonely. I felt proud because on the other side I started a "trend" that ricocheted across the fandom so much that now headcanon of Rom and Micolash as siblings is the norm, not exception. I hated myself for sabotaging my only means to "be" with Micolash in my dreams.

But in the end, I just... accepted it? I've found peace in knowing that different parts of my identity feel differently towards this man, and I can't sacrifice either. And I was able to internalise the differences between my Rom, other people's Rom and Rom as 'general character concept'. So I can like teacher-student, I can like friendship, I can like familial, I can like ship, I can like them as enemies. But this applies to me-me too! It is easier to name what feelings I do not have towards him hahah;

[fictionadventurer]

In my mind, there's a platonic ideal of the traditional fairy tale retelling that takes the story seriously, follows the general outline of the fairy tale in a traditional fairy tale setting, and--most importantly--has well-rounded characters and a well-developed world that grounds us in the details of the setting. It often has romance in it, but the romance is part of the character's wider story instead of the focus.

The authors with books that fit this ideal include:

Gail Carson Levine (Ella Enchanted)

Shannon Hale (The Goose Girl)

Sarah McGuire (Valiant)

Amity Thompson (the first half of A Trial of Words and Worth)

[finalset]

I love drawing <3 I just bought some rainbow pencils that I’m excited to use and incorporate in my art. I’ve been having so much fun since I let myself do smaller artworks in my sketchbook instead of big fully shaded pieces or nothing.

[suffarustuffaru]

i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)

[fruitsofhell]

       An idea I’d been working on for a second was that Morpho Knight isn’t the only grim reaper of the Kirby universe, and more just fills the specific niche of taking the souls of warriors. It came from reading the novel where Meta Knight falls into hell, which explained that he came just for the purpose of taking the souls of strong warriors, (something that was then canonized in KatFL). Which is fun cause it opens up the idea of like a little pantheon of reaper butterfly characters for specific niches.

Which I will talk about a lot now.

       So building off that I thought about Morpho’s actions and how it seems he specifically shows up when a character has long overstayed their mortal welcome and needs to be taken away, or needs to have a “final battle”. Given the nature of how Soul Bosses work and how Forgo himself was in that state before Morpho came and got him, I figured the idea was that in the Kirby universe character’s souls can linger on and get lost when they’re still filled with too much emotion and a will to fight on. Thus needing to be tracked down and forcefully taken away by a reaper. It’s easy to imagine this happening with warriors, who are likely to die in fights still full of energy and vengeance, but also power seeking maniacs drunk off power are commonly turned into soul bosses within the games.        Another part of it I thought of though is how much “judgement” is emphasized in Morpho’s descriptions, so obviously that’s an important part of why reapers would exist beyond souls just wandering off. Warriors are probably very tricky to judge because their job includes spreading death and destruction, and you have to weigh that against the good they brought as well as intended to bring with it. And back to the theme of those power hungry maniacs, while some of them were clearly vain like Sectonia, you have Haltmann who started just with the wish to bring back his daughter before he went down a path of corruption.        And Morpho’s origins had always been hard to think about for me, the most obvious idea at first was that it was the same species as Galacta, Kirby, and Meta, but his appearance couldv’e just been because of absorbing Galacta. But then KatFL comes around and he’s still an orb with wings which is in line with our description of their species. As well as the fact that Forgo manages to get “Chaos” powers it previously never showed off only after escaping Morpho... I think it made a strong case for Morpho being soul matter, the way Kirby is heart matter and Zero is dark matter. It’s power’s seemed in line with the idea of how Kirby and Zero represented their specific elements.        (Also as an aside, I wondered if Elfilis would be dream matter, but if Kirby, Zero, and Morpho are our bases for this species... it would not make sense. Plus like I said, it only got the “Chaos” powers related to Astral Void after interacting with Morpho. So no in my opinion.)

Headcanon Starts Here:

       ANYWAYS, thankss to KatFL I’m very sure Morpho, and subsequently his reaper pals, are all a form of Astral Void. But unlike Kirby (Heart Matter) or Zero (Dark Matter), they’re weird trans-dimensional shadow orbs. Which is how they can teleport, turn into butterflies, and break the rules of space-time in order to judge souls across the universe. A butterfly of a certain type comes to everybody who dies, but these bad boys only really make true appearances when things are special. The butterflies work kinda as just pieces of them spread across time and space, and they can appear from them at will as long as they have enough power.        There’s probably far more I could hypothetically make (it would be fun to make a whole rainbow of them), but these are the ideas I have now based on the qualifications of being needed to wrangle troublesome souls and/or those souls needing careful consideration. They also have roles in the actual underworld, which is probably where they consciously spend most of their time as their butterflies go about bringing souls to them.

       All the reapers regard eachother warmly, as being an eternity old makes it hard to keep grudges, and they see eachother sort of as friends or coworkers. Unlike Heart Matter and a lot of other creatures in the universe, they don’t have a burning need for deep attachment and they spend lots of time completely solitary from eachother. They sometimes have small rivalries and running gags though. A big one is how Morpho had been looking forward to claiming Galacta Knight’s soul for most of the warrior’s life in order to punish his hubris, but once he got sealed outside of space-time that became rather impossible - much to Morpho’s despair and the others’ amusement.        The reapers are also completely sexless, and regard themselves as genderless. They just pick up whatever mannerisms or characteristics they feel suits their niche, like Morpho adopting warrior-like traits that could be read as masculine, and Shepard adopting caring and nurturing traits that can be read as feminine. They mostly refer to eachother by name or maybe as “it”, but adopt the pronouns of any peoples or mythologies who regard them as well. To a patriarchal culture the King reaper would be thought of as a man inherently, but to cultures like the Ripple Star fairies who are matriarchal they’d refer to it as a ‘she’.        Most cultures across the Kirby universe pick up on the connection between the butterflies and death, but interpret them in different ways. Some base their versions of them on accounts of their true forms, and some make up characteristics from scratch. The ancient Halcandrans were very familiar with accounts of Morpho and the Artisan as a culture who valued both valor and ingenuity. The fairies of Ripple Star are most familiar with the Shepard as a species of children, and the King who comes to take their queen. Some cultures like the Jamba whom are very absorbed in their own beliefs actually attribute others, such as Astral Void, to ferrying the dead. Which surprisingly holds a tiny nugget of truth as the reapers are spawn of it.

       And speaking of Astral Void, the reapers do tend to pay extra close attention to their fellow voidspawn cousins. Morpho watched Galacta very carefully from a young age, knowing that he would be a truly great warrior but blinded by ego. He did try to scare the guy into not developing a god-complex, but Galacta was stubborn and only saw death’s warnings as challenges. Ever since then he’s watched Meta and Kirby very carefully, and is actually a big fan of Kirby due to him quickly becoming such a humble, merciful boy. Zero created a similar problem for King, and it waited very very patiently for his unimaginably long reign as the god-king of dark matter to be ended by everyone’s favorite pink ball of peace.        They’re not able to communicate directly with other beings, only with their souls, which isn’t very easy to reach in life. Even when appearing as Morpho did in KSA and KatFL, it wasn’t able to talk to others, but it could finally talk to Galacta’s soul in it’s head. The only way they can make appearances like Morpho did to the living and healthy is by using a dead or dying soul, and to those in that state already they can appear like that when casting judgement. They can also control souls of the dead as ghosts to do their bidding and send messages too. But that’s fun stuff for my HC writing. I’ve rambled on long enough.

TL;DR - Morpho is the Knight of Hades, and I thought up a King, Shepard, and Artisan of Hades who have their own niches of souls to guide and judge. They’re genderless, solitary, hyper-dimensional shadow people who are interpreted across the cosmos as different pantheons of death gods. They’re cool with eachother and even look out for their fleshling void-kin, but don’t interact with mortals outside of death matters. Morpho is an exception with it’s shenanigans cause Gala and Forgo cause hard times.