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thorns-fixations · 2 years

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THE RENDEZVOUS | Angeal Hewley/ Reader

PART ONE | 18+ reader insert | Eventual Smut

The Rendezvous is a nighttime-only establishment that opens at 7:00pm, and operates as a standard lounge style club until 1:00am, after which it changes tone to a lower to middle-class or “affordable” sex club. The bar staff, like yourself are not expected to work in any other capacity other than making and serving drinks and your new boss assured you that the club has a strict consent policy policed by the security team. At your interview he handed you some contact paperwork, as well as some general “uniform” inspiration imagery, your access card and keys, he had explained to you that as a member of staff you have unlimited access to all establishment spaces (other than his own office of course) to use as you wish. Today your shift was 7:00 to 11:00, giving you plenty of time to get home before the other activities began.

You flicked your hand up, silencing your alarm, 4:45pm, 2 hours before you had to leave for your shift, you had been working at the club for a few weeks now, at 4 shifts per week, and so far you thankfully had not bumped into anyone from Shinra, anyone except your classmate Lex who worked alongside you at the bar, it was fun to relax with her and gossip about the goings on at the company.

You breezed through your before-shift routine, making sure to eat a filling dinner, packing your lunch and changes of clothes (you had learnt pretty quickly that an extra set of clothes or two is a pretty good idea when you are servicing drunken customers who are prone to spill their drinks on you occasionally. You zip up your favourite dress, it fits so perfectly, hugging you in all the right places, you style your hair and put on your makeup. You feel and look amazing.

You walk into the staff room of the club and put your bags away in your locker before walking out to the bar, Lex was already there.

“Hey Y/N!, you look smokin’”, you smiled at her whilst jumping over the bar to join her “you expecting someone tonight or something? What’s got you looking so flash?” She jested, knowing full well you weren’t perusing anyone at that time.

“Very funny, Lex, unlike some people around here, I wouldn’t have a hook-up at work” gesturing to some of the other workers with your head “not to shame them or anything, just not my thing, you know?”.

“Yeah I hear you” Lex replied, leaning on the bar next to you “surely you have someone that you would break your personal morals for though?” she asked, a smile crossing her face and raising an eyebrow at you. “Personally I have always been fond of the head of Urban Development”

“Oh you mean Mr Tuesti?, I can’t say I blame you, he’s not my type personally but he’s not bad on the eyes” you replied, eyes scanning over the first customers entering the club.

You and Lex had a pretty fool-proof system of filling drink trays for the other workers to hand out on the floor and in the seats. You sped through about 10 more trays before Lex continued the conversation.

“Well?” She looked at you inquisitively,

“well.....what?” You looked back confused.

Laughing and shaking her head Lex responded “who would make you drop your morals! If you had one night with anyone...no, if you were to have anyone wanna walk through that door and ask for your ‘personal services’ who would you say yes to?”.

You stopped to think for a second, your mind scanning through all the people you have found attractive over the years; your 10th grade crush, that one coworker you had back in the slums, the lead of last years Loveless performance, the 1st class SOLDIER operatives. You felt yourself blush madly as your mind scanned over the idea of him, you’d always found him attractive, but since starting at Shinra and seeing him around the main building, you had to admit that your innocent little crush had developed into something a lot more x-rated, reflecting on the sex toy you recently purchased to help relieve your frustrations. You are snapped out of your imagination by the sound of your friend laughing

“Ha! So there IS someone that you’d take to one of our ‘special’ back rooms” she suggested, winking at you, “I bet I know who it is~” she teased.

You laughed back at her, a bit embarrassed, the truth is, she probably knows EXACTLY who entered your brain, after all, she was with you the other day when you got lost in the main building.

You had both been sent to deliver some paperwork to the different department heads, the Turks, SOLDIER, urban development and research. You both had decided to leave the SOLDIER director, Lazard, for last, he was almost always in the same place and often kept you both for a chat when you found yourself in his offices. As much as you both enjoy your classes, it’s a little bit more enjoyable to hang around the barracks for a little while, you don’t often get to explore that area in your study and hey, watching the Shinra army train isn’t exactly a bad view either. This visitation was FAR from an exception to the norm when two of the friendly 3rd classes, Kunsel and Cloud informed you that you could find Lazard in the bases gym.

“I wonder what Lazard is actually doing in the gym” you wondered out loud

“he doesn’t exactly come across as the work-out type, does he?” Lex responded, laughing at the thought.

You eventually found Lazard standing in the gym reviewing some paperwork whilst in deep discussion with a very familiar face,

“ holy shit “ Lex whispered to you under her breath “that’s Genesis Rhapsodos, right?”

You nodded back to her as your eyes met his, a sly smile spreading across his face,

“Well hello there, ladies” he greeted you with a voice, smooth like butter.

Lazard looked up from his paperwork and smiled warmly at you both

“Ah! Y/N, Alexis, I was hoping they would send you both with the mission reports, I’m just about finished here with the 1sts, I’d ask for your momentary patience.”

You smiled at him

“Of course director! We are more than happy to wait” you both sat on an nearby bench to wait.

You frowned at Lex, noticing that she was looking around the room as if she was looking for something, or someone. You caught her scanning eyes with your own confused look

“Didn’t Lazard say 1sts ,as in, multiple? I can only see 2nd classes other than Gen-

Your attention was drawn away by the opening of the shower doors behind her, looking up at the the shirtless form in-front of you drying his raven hair with a towel. Your eyes slowly scan up the mans large muscular form, water droplets still trickling down his tight abs, a fresh gleam over his chest as the smell of fresh soap hit you. Angeal Hewley. Steam still sneaking off his skin, your eyes finally land on his face... a face that is looking down at you, his sharp mako-blue eyes staring into your soul, you felt yourself stiffen up as the heat rushed to your face. He raised an eyebrow and smirked, looking your frozen body up and down before walking off to join Lazard and Genesis. You’d be lying if you denied using that memory to get off recently.

“I wanna hear you say it, Y/N, you’d be under Angeal in a heart beat wouldn’t you?”

She laughed. You composed yourself, placing your hands on you hips, looking at your friend

“Honestly Lex...... I would break so many laws to have that man throw me against a wall, respectfully of course”

“Of course, respectfully” she laughed.

11:00pm came around pretty quickly, you and Lex decided that with two hours to spare, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to stick around and dance for a while, leaving before the x-rated activities began of course.

That smile.

The damned smile had you weak at the knees, you almost hated that a smile alone would make you say yes to anything... almost.

You had already decided that you were not drinking anymore tonight, you had already had 5 glasses of your standard drink, more than enough to have you tipsy and confident. You had decided, in your infinite wisdom that regardless of the SOLDIER's presence you and Lex were going to dance like they weren't.

Okay

Maybe you were going to dance like it was only Angeal and you in the whole club, your hands feeling your body, swaying provocatively to the rhythm of the night. And honestly, you couldn't have a better hype girl by your side, she supported this sexy performance, even if it was only just that, an act. She was a pretty good teacher too, instructing you to take some quick shy glances in Angeal's direction when she caught him watching you, your performance became so familiar that you were soon dancing and giving him looks as if he'd paid for a private performance. More than a few times you had seen him shift in his seat at the lounge whilst watching your movements, it was about 12:15, you thought when you looked over and saw he was gone from his seat, having left Sephiroth and Zack there, actually on further inspection, Genesis was gone too. You frowned and continued dancing, turning back to face your friend. As you did, almost in the same split second your eyes landed on Genesis' who had appeared behind her, you were taken back by the feeling of two large arms wrapping around your waist from behind, hot breath falling into the nape of your neck.

"Lost something, sweetheart?" the rough deep voice echoed through your ears. Perhaps your performance had worked a little too well. You turned around slowly, looking up at him, his arms not moving from your body, his hands now resting on your ass.

"It would seem our little friend here isn't so confident in her performance with the audience up close and personal" Genesis cooed from behind you.

"That's disappointing, it looked so tempting from a distance that I thought I might come and join in the fun" Angeal smirked down at you, tightening his grip on your ass and pulling your body tight against his own. The smell of his cologne attacks your senses. No, you weren't going to let yourself fall into being shy right now, if he wants to play, dammit you can play right back. You reached your arms up and linked your hands behind his neck, smiling innocently up at him, you leaned up a tiny bit and stepped toward him with one foot. You feel him move one of his hands to your upper back a begin to move his face towards yours, just what you were after. With his guard dropped and expecting to feel your soft lips touch his own he closed his eyes, in response, you swiftly moved your leg against him, putting pressure on his clothed cock before moving your leg upwards slowly causing him to gasp, just the reaction you were seeking. What you didn't expect though was to feel his obvious arousal so clearly though his pants, so clear and so shockingly large, your shock must have been written all over your face. His expression quickly changed to a seductive smile, “What’s wrong baby? Bite off more than you think you can handle?”

#angeal hewley #crisis core #fanfiction #final fantasy vii #genesis rhapsodos #sephiroth #zack fair #smut #reader insert

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space-mermaid-writing · 3 years

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House Arrest [Reader X Loki] Chapter 3

Summary: You are Clint’s 'little' sister and actually a trained Shield agent. But you gave that up a few years ago and became a Chef, because you wanted a normal live. Then one day Natasha shows up at your door and takes you to the Avenger Tower for a while for security reasons.

Tags: Reader is an former Shield Agent, chef!reader, Reader Barton, 2012 Avenger vibes, everything is still alright, Slice of Life, Avengers Family, Loki has a good heart, still the god of mischief, Slow Burn, mention of food and cooking

Read it on AO3

Chapter 3: Nighttime pancakes

The next few days you got to know everything a little better: The tower, the Avengers - as far as they were present and showed themselves - and the rest of the staff that you ran into from time to time. You also discovered that the tower had its own training halls. Actually this was just logical given the team that lives here. Often when you were out and about in the building, you got the faint feeling of being watched. It was a little disturbing, but you dismissed it by saying that the environment was still new to you. Also, you had learned that JARVIS had access to all the public rooms and most of them were probably video monitored too. You weren’t sure about your own quarters yet, but you were also not sure if you wanted to know the answer.

Unfortunately the nights are very long, because you sleep very badly here. Despite the short time, you miss walking outside, through the streets, and besides, you are used to a rather strict daily routine. Sure, it's nice to switch off for a few days and not have to do anything. A little vacation, so to speak. But you're someone who soon gets bored with that. You chose a profession that requires you to spend hours running around the kitchen, preparing dishes and finishing orders for a reason after all. The price of your now lazy life is that you toss and turn in your bed at night without really being tired. Maybe there are some additional worries that keep you awake. For example, the Hydra question that was still unresolved.

This night you turn from side to side again, sighing, and at some point take a look at the digital alarm clock. Its digits glowing a light red in the darkness. It's three in the morning. Or night. Depending on how you see it. After a few more unsuccessful tries to sleep, you give up and decide to roam the halls a bit. Just walking around and stretching your legs. Outside, it's quiet. Only the soft whirring of some working machines can be heard. The corridors are discreetly lit, so you have no trouble finding your way, which leads you into the large lobby. It’s actually the first time since your arrival that you find it completely empty. Still, you have the familiar feeling that you are not alone. Jarvis probably never sleeps.

Out of habit, you end up in the kitchen and take a bored look into the fridge. Nothing in there appeals to you, but you're not really hungry either. Not even for a little snack. Still, you feel like cooking. Maybe pancakes. You could eat them for breakfast later. Without thinking too long about it, you get a bowl from the cupboard and tie an apron around yourself, which you have obligatory lying here by now. Flour, milk and eggs are quickly mixed and a few other ingredients are added for flavor. You put some butter in a pan on the stove. When it became liquid, you start to fry the first pancake and gradually got more and more, so that you quickly have a respectable pile together. Quietly, you hum to yourself.

"It's been a long time since anyone has been here at this hour”, you suddenly hear an unfamiliar voice behind you. Surprised, you whirl around, holding a knife that had been lying next to the stove. A dark-haired man in a green shirt is standing by the kitchen island, watching your actions curiously. When he sees the knife, he raises both hands to calm you down. On each of his arms you notice a narrow silver hoop with a red dot flashing. You hadn't heard a door, and you're not sure how long he's been standing there. "What’s your deal? Can’t sleep?", you ask him. "Just like you apparently." You raise an eyebrow and set the knife aside as the pancakes demand your attention. "You're Loki, aren't you?" It's more of a statement than a question, and the man nods. "And you're the archer's sister", he respond, which makes you in turn nod. "I‘m Y/N, pleasure to meet you." "You don't often hear that as a prisoner", he says amused, but still keeps eye on you, waiting for your reaction. "Heard about it. I guess we're sitting in the same boat." "Oh, really?" "Well, I probably won't be tasered right away if I try to leave the building." "Probably?", Loki follows up. "Yeah, I'm not entirely sure about that."

You talk for a while until you hear the elevator ping quietly in the lobby. But you're not paying attention right now, as you're busy scraping the last bit of dough out of the bowl and then turning off the stove. "Would you like some?" you ask Loki, turning to him only to find that he has disappeared. Taken aback, you turn your attention to the room next door, where you hear muffled voices. Then the door opens. "THAT'S what I call a nice welcome," Clint grins, looking at the stack of pancakes. "Brother dear", you greet him equally pleased and surprised at his unexpected appearing. Smiling, you walk up to him and hug him. Along with him, Steve Rogers, whom you've also already seen on the news as Captain America, came in. He seems a little confused at first, but after you fill him in on who you are, he welcomes you as well.

"What are you doing here?" your brother then asks you. "You can see that. I'm making breakfast for you." "No, I mean, what are you doing here?" He specifies the question with a gesture that included all the surroundings as well as the Tower. "Oh..." It's clearly too middle of the night for you to be that precise. In a few words, you explain your situation. Clint has some encouraging words for you, but can understand that you are not enthusiastic. "At least we can get more on each other's nerves again. Why don't you start right now and join us while we eat?", he laugh, putting his arm around your shoulder in a brotherly fashion as he pushes you toward the stove. You have to laugh, too. "You mean while you eat my breakfast." "Exactly." You go get two plates from the cupboard and serve the men each a good stack of pancakes with maple syrup. They thank you and the group of you make yourselves comfortable at the kitchen island. "Where and how do you guys usually eat here?", you ask in the meantime. "We each order our own food. Probably have a flat rate with all the suppliers in the neighborhood," Clint explains. Steves' gaze is on you questioningly. "Don't you want some pancakes, too?" "In the middle of the night? No thanks, I'm not hungry." "Then why did you made them, if you don't mind me asking?" "I knew you'd come and could use something in your stomach", you reply with a serious expression, to which Steve shoots first you and then your brother a scrutinizing look. He’d seen enough weird shit while working with the Avengers to take such a statement quite seriously. And he wonders whether you, unlike Hawkeye, have superpowers. But only until you can no longer stifle the broad grin, because his facial expression is just too funny.

Before you can say anything, though, Clint interjects. "As siblings, we've just developed some sort of telepathic ability." You nod in agreement. "Exactly. That's how I always know when he's going to say something stupid and deserve a head butt." "To be honest, I never heard him talk about you before”, Steve admits. "See”, you wink, "It‘s working out just fine." You laugh, and while they continue to eat, Clint tells you about the mission they just came from.

Afterwards, you put another stack of pancakes on a plate to take it with you back to the lobby. "Hungry now, are you?", your brother asks you, clearly tired after the long journey and at this late hour. Just as the super soldier. "Maybe”, you answer shortly and wish them both a good night. The greeting comes back double and you head into the large lobby with the elevators. "Jarvis?" "Yes, Miss Barton?" "Where is Loki's apartment?", you ask the computer. "You are not exactly authorized to receive this information." "I just want to get him something to eat."

You raise the plate in your hands a little higher and apparently your answer is analyzed, because for a few seconds there is silence. But then you get the information you want and are directed to the door you are looking for. It was on another floor and at the end of a long corridor.

You knock, but at first there is no response. So you try again. "Come on, my prince, I know you're not asleep and it's rude to leave a lady at a locked door." You hear an amused sound from the other side and shortly after the door is opened. With his arms crossed, Loki stands before you. "It's also rude to disturb a prince in the middle of the night, M’Lady", he replies. "Rude would be to refuse a dinner from a lady. Especially when she personally hands it to you", you add, giving him the plate. It's impossible for you to tell if he's amused or annoyed as he looks from you to the pancakes in his hand. "I never said I wanted any“, he states. "But you didn't say you didn't want them, either. Just give them a try. I'm pretty good at cooking." With that, you turn to go. "Good night, dear prince," you wish him, but without turning around. So you miss the grin on Loki's face as he closes the door.

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wwitbeyondmeasure · 4 years

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Summer at the Burrow / r.w. fan fiction

Previous Chapters

Introduction / Author’s Note / Chapter 1: The Journey to the Burrow / Chapter 2: Hidden Letters / Chapter 3: Ron’s Return / Chapter 4: Nighttime Conversations / Chapter 5: A Morning Surprise / Chapter 6: The Quidditch Match / Chapter 7: Girl Talk / Chapter 8: Aphrodite’s Push / Chapter 9: Mistakes and Love Potions

Chapter 10: You Would be Fine

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all the love and support for this fic, it means so much to me :) Get prepared because this chapter is a lengthy one (about 4,200 words I think...oops). Also, the gif has nothing to do with the chapter I just thought Ron looked really cute lol. Okay anyways enjoy!!!

You were fine. Really you were.

Every time Hermione or Ginny gave you a concerned look while passing, you could easily plaster on an "I'm-good-everything-is-good-thanks-for-asking" smile onto your face.

In reality though, your heart hurt ever damn day.

About 2 weeks ago, Ron broke your heart. Under the oak tree outside, he told you that whatever happened between you was a mistake. Mistake. So instead of moping around for the rest of your summer vacation, you tried to be happy. During the day time you would laugh and joke with the Weasleys, help make meals, finish your school work, and do chores. But at night is when you finally let yourself feel your heartbreak. Once everyone fell asleep, you would creep down the stairs and sit underneath the oak tree, and cry.

It was therapeutic, kind of. With each passing night, you felt better. Yes, it still hurt seeing Ron's freckled face every morning at breakfast. And it still made your skin and body ache when he accidentally brushed up next to you in the tight kitchen. But you were okay.

You knew that if you let Ron fully see how heartbroken you were, it would change the dynamic between you. You were best friends, and nothing more. No matter how much you loved him, that's all you would ever be. Instead of jeopardizing the friendship you had come to cherish so greatly, you simply suppressed your love for Ron so you could maintain it. And it was working, king of.

The night after your heartbreak at the oak tree, you started treating Ron exactly as you had before you came to the Burrow, before you had let your emotions run wild. He reciprocated this and before long, you were best friends again. You played Quidditch on each other's team, joked around with Fred and George, tried the newest Weasley Wizard Wheezes products (though you stayed away from the love potions), and played wizard's chess together. Although your heart still skipped a beat whenever Ron leaned closer to you, everything was back to normal with your best friend.

Over the past 2 weeks, you had been alternating between sleeping in Ginny's room for sleepovers, the bed in the attic, or the couch in the living room. Ron didn't offer his room to you again, which made you sad but you understood. If you were alone with him late at night when your emotions were high, your cover of "nope-i-don't-love-him-we-are-just-best-friends" was going out the window. So you stuck to your usual 3 beds.

That morning, you had awoken from the attic bed bright and early. Hermione had been getting the girls up at 8am for the past 2 weeks so that you could finish your school work early in the morning and have the rest of the day to relax. Although you hated her every morning for this, you were glad she had such a strict regimen because you had all finished your homework yesterday. Now, for the rest of the summer you were homework free.

By now you were so used to waking up early that it was no longer a surprise for anyone to see you help cook breakfast with Mrs Weasley. Besides Hermione, you two were usually the first awake and in the kitchen right away. This morning was no different as you padded down the creaky wooden steps into the kitchen.

"Good morning Mrs Weasley," you greeted her, tying an apron around your waist. There were four aprons in the Weasley house; a floral one designated for Mrs Weasley, a dark blue one for Mr Weasley when he would attempt to use a muggle grill, a plain white one for whoever decided to help cook, and a yellow one with stars for you. Mrs Weasley even spelled your name, y/n, on the edge in elegant cursive.

"For my newest child," she has said when she showed it to you. She pinched your cheeks, the way she did with all of her kids, and the action almost made you tear up. You threw your arms around her in a tight hug and thanked her profusely.

Mrs Weasley smiled approvingly at you as you started on the breakfast. As the usual morning rhythm took place, you cherished the routine of cracking the eggs, putting them in pans, flipping them, and then doing the same thing again and again.

But soon, Mrs Weasley's voice broke the silence. "Sweetheart, what happened with Ron?" she asked.

Your head snapped up from the frying pan, your eyes meeting Mrs Weasley's. She looked at you with motherly concern, and for some reason you couldn't look at her loving face and lie to her.

"I don't think he feels the same way that I do about him," you stated, turning your attention back to cooking.

Mrs Weasley huffed. "Well, my son has never been the sharpest boy, as you know," she said. You giggled, though you were still sad, and she smiled at you. "Maybe things will change honey," she told you, "love happens unexpectedly."

Before you got the chance to reply, thundering footsteps sounded from the staircase. You whipped your head around to see the twins barreling down the steps, practically tripping over one another in their hurry.

"Where's the fire?" you asked.

Fred ran across the room, picked you up around the waist, and spun you around.

"Percy's home! His work is called off for the week because of his birthday!" He shouted excitedly. You laughed, swatting at him with your spatula until he set you down.

"I didn't know you two were so excited to see your brother," Mrs Weasley noted, fixing her sons with a stern and skeptical stare.

"Oh mother, we're not," George replied.

"We're excited to mess with him for a week straight," Fred added with the largest grin you had ever seen.

As soon as the words left his mouth, more of a promise than anything else, the front door swung open and in entered the most prestigious Weasley of the house. With his rigorous work schedule, you hadn't seen Percy once this entire summer. But now, here he was, standing in the kitchen in a three piece suit with a pocket watch and shiny black shoes at 8 in the morning.

"Hi Percy," you said, trying your best not to laugh at the long tail of his suit coat.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Fred asked, his face shocked as he took in Percy's outfit. George's face was bright red as he held in his laughter.

"This," Percy said, unironically spinning so everyone could see his outfit, "Is traditional Muggle-wear. As I climb higher in the Ministry's success ladder, sometimes I have to encounter Muggles, so I must dress accordingly. This particular suit was a gift from one of my many clients."

He turned to you and you tried to wipe the teasing smile off your face. "Y/n, this is what muggles wear to their jobs, isn't it?" he asked.

You schooled your features into seriousness. "Oh yes," you responded, "definitely."

At that moment, Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione stumbled down the stairs, looking like they had just woken up. Everyone stayed up late last night playing nighttime Quidditch (an especially difficult yet fun game considering the fact that you can't see the bludgers because of how dark it is).

Ron froze when he saw Percy standing in the kitchen, his shoes so shiny they were reflecting the kitchen lights into the eyes of anyone who looked at them.

"Bloody hell, what happened to your clothes?" he asked incredulously. Him and Harry shared a look and then burst out in laughter.

Percy's ears turned pink at the tips as he huffed before sitting down in one of the chairs around the kitchen table. You and Mrs Weasley decorated the center of the table with plate after plate of delicious warm breakfast food. Proud of your hard work, you took off your apron and sat down next to Percy.

Ron sat down next to you as the others joined the table.

"For your information, Ronald, your girlfriend says my clothes are the proper Muggle attire," Percy said, glaring at his little brother.

"She's not my girlfriend," Ron responded, his ears turning pink now too.

"How's Penelope?" you asked Percy before you could let yourself get too caught up in the fact that you really wanted Ron's response to that question to be different.

Percy smiled at the mention of his longtime girlfriend, who had been a Prefect at Hogwarts with him. "Oh she's fantastic," Percy said before launching into a long-winded story about Penelope's latest project she was working on at the ministry. Words such as "top-secret" "highly important" and "imperative job" floated past your ears.

Ron leaned closer to you and mumbled in your ear, "I wish you hadn't asked him that."

"Me too," you whispered back, giggling behind your hand.

As breakfast began, you were proud of all the compliments you received on your cooking. Waking up early to cook with Mrs Weasley was a part of the day you always looked forward too, and the compliments only made you feel better about it.

After everyone finished eating, and cleared their plates, chairs scraped against the wood of the floor as everyone prepared to go about their daily business.

"Wait!" Percy shouting, using his wand to spell everyone back into their chairs. "Nobody leave this table until we discuss my birthday party details."

Theses past few weeks your brain had been so focused on Ron that you had forgotten Percy's huge birthday party that was taking place at the Burrow next week. From the guilty expressions of everyone else around the table, you could tell they had forgotten too.

"I want this party to be perfect," Percy said. "My bosses are coming to this party, as is Penelope, so I will not tolerate any shenanigans." He fixed his eyes on the twins and gave them an icy glare. "I mean it, no funny business."

Fred and George saluted him, shouting "yes mother" before jumping out of their chairs and running to their room. A memory flashed in your head from the beginning of summer. The twins were showing you fireworks in their room, "special fireworks for Percy's party" they had said. There was definitely going to be some shenanigans taking place.

Increasingly interested about what kind of pranks the twins were going to pull on Percy, you excused yourself from the table and followed them upstairs. You were about to knock on their door before it swung open and Fred dragged you inside.

"Can I have a sneak peek?" you asked them giddily as soon as the door closed behind you. Apart from the twins, you were the most excited about their funny products and pranks they always pulled. You knew Percy's party wasn't going to disappoint.

Instead of reciprocating your excitement, the twins traded nervous glances.

"What is it?" you asked them. You felt a strange sense of deja vu to the time when they picked you up to drive you to the Burrow in the beginning of summer. They were hiding something from you then, and they were certainly hiding something from you now.

"So we take it you're not going to tell Ron about your unconditional love for him anytime soon?" George asked, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish expression on his face. Fred was ringing his hands nervously next to him.

"That is correct," you responded flatly.

"Well, you see," Fred began, "When we ordered these special fireworks for Percy's party, we assumed you two would be dating and in love by the time of the party. And the thing is, there's no refunds on the fireworks, so we kind of have to use them." He spoke so fast that the words were tumbling together in your head.

"Okay...what does that mean? What do the fireworks have to do with Ron and I?" you asked, getting increasingly more upset by the moment.

The twins must have sensed your anger because they traded a quick glance before assuring you "Okay, never mind, love, everything is under control," Fred promised.

"Yep, totally under control," George said, steering you out of the room. You didn't even register what they were saying before you were standing in the hallway.

"What aren't you telling me?" you asked, eyes narrowing into a glare at the twins.

They both gulped nervously.

"Don't worry about it, y/n, everything is fine. Percy's party will be full of lots of laughs and fun," Fred promised, before promptly shutting the door in your face. Once again, you got deja vu.

And with that, you left the twins room, feeling even more confused about your relationship with Ron than ever.

...

The next week was frantic, hectic, and insane as you all scrambled to prepare for Percy's big party. Decorations needed to be made, food needed to be cooked, and you totally forgot to get Percy a present. After a day trip to Diagon Alley, you had returned home with a bag of more owl food for Dite and a magical watch for Percy. Despite all of the high energy and excitement in the house, the twins words still weighed on you. The party was quickly approaching and you had yet to "confess your unconditional love" to Ron. What would happen if you didn't? You didn't even want to think about it.

It was the night before Percy's party, and you were in the garden helping Bill string up lights around the outdoor tables. You and Bill had been spending a lot more time together over the past week. Bill had always opted to help you in whatever decoration or cooking you were tasked with for that day. Although you could tell that made Ron grumpy, you tried to ignore it. Your feelings were confusing enough without trying to unpack Ron's jealousy at the moment.

You wobbled on the chair you were standing on as you tied the last string of lights around the nearest tree branch. After you finished, you put your hands on your hips and took a look around the garden. It looked amazing. 10 tables were arranged in a neat circle around the yard, completed with white table clothes and centerpieces with Percy's photo in the middle. You bought a couple packs of muggle Christmas lights to hang from the trees to illuminate the area, which Mr Weasley was very happy about. He spent about 2 hours asking you about the mechanics behind muggle electricity.

There was a long table for the buffet to be served at and a short circular table for Percy's gifts to be placed on. At the corner of the garden the twins had set up a firing booth for the fireworks. To be totally honest, the decoration fit more for a wedding than a birthday party, but Percy wanted things to be perfect, so the family followed his decoration ideas to a tee.

While being distracted by observing your handiwork, you weren't really paying attention to what was happening behind you. This was unfortunate because Harry and Ron were practicing disarming charms right behind you.

"Y/n, look out!" you heard someone yell behind you. Whipping around towards the voice, you saw a red ball of sparks sailing towards you from the end of Harry's wand. How did Harry always manage to accidentally attack you?

You dove from your chair to avoid the sparks, and were fully expecting to land roughy in the grass. Instead, you felt strong arms wrap around you to prevent you from hitting the ground. You looked up to see none other than Bill Weasley as your knight in shining armour.

"Thanks," you said quietly.

Bill didn't let his arms drop from around you.

"Anytime," he replied with a grin. His arms were still wrapped around you when you heard angry footsteps marching towards you.

"Get your hands off her, you prat," you heard Ron's voice say. Bill's arms dropped from your sides as you both turned to face Ron.

"Calm down, Ron," Bill told him.

Ron glared at his older brother. "Stop flirting with her, she's my best friend," he said sternly.

Your heart hurt. You wanted Ron to be jealous because he liked you, not because you were just his best friend.

"He can flirt with me if he wants." The words were out of your mouth before you could even filter it.

Ron's gaze snapped towards you and you almost had to take a step back from their intensity. "Do you want him to?" He asked you, his voice strained.

The answer was easy. No. You knew you didn't want Bill to flirt with you. He had been your first crush and he was beyond attractive, but he wasn't Ron. The only person you wanted was Ron. You said those words not because you wanted Bill, but because you wanted Ron to stop acting possessive if he didn't even love you back. It just hurt too much for him to act like your boyfriend if he was never going to be.

"Ron, I'm sorry," Bill said, mediating the situation. "I know you and y/n have something together, I shouldn't have overstepped. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

It won't happen again.

That's exactly what Ron told you after the night he had taken the love potion. The night that made you believe that maybe he did have the same feelings for you. But in the end, he regretted the moment that you had loved so much.

It won't happen again.

Tears crowded your vision and you tried your best to blink them away, you were not about to cry in front of him and show him just how much power he had over you and your emotions. But soon there were hot tears slipping down your cheeks and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

Bill and Harry exchanged nervous glances as you and Ron just continued staring at each other. They both took a couple steps away to give you and Ron the space you needed to hash things out. Ron was breathing heavily, obviously still angry from the flirting between you and his brother. But you were angry too, angry that he didn't want you the way you wanted him.

"I don't want you flirting with my brother," he said, his intense gaze never leaving yours.

You rolled your eyes, "It's not your choice if I do."

Ron bristled at your comment, taking another step closer to you. You could practically feel the heat and anger radiating off of him.

"You know, you've really been pissing me off these past couple weeks," he said. "You prance around making breakfast in the mornings, but in reality all you're doing is trying to get with Bill. It's so fucking frustrating! I'm your best friend, we were supposed to be together every day you visited, but instead you found someone better to spend your time with."

God, he was thick. You told him that.

"I'm not trying to get with Bill, you dumb git!" you shouted back. Why couldn't he see that he was the only one you wanted. Bill hadn't even crossed your mind this summer, your heart was too full of Ron as it is.

At this point, you were practically nose to nose with him, your shouting words bringing you closer and closer towards each other.

Ron mimicked you from earlier and rolled his eyes. It was beyond infuriating. You set your jaw and clenched your hands as you tried not to yell more.

"Oh of course you're not. You just spend every waking moment with him and barely hang out with me, but sure you're not trying to get with him," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Now it was your turn to get angry. "Oh really? I'm the one to blame right now?" You shouted at him. The words were hot rolling off your tongue.

"You're the one who treats me so poorly! You cuddle me in your bed, and then run out the next morning. You almost kiss me and then act like it didn't happen! You told me what happened in your room was a mistake," the last sentence flew out of you, the anger just boiling and boiling up towards your breaking point.

Even though you knew it wouldn't do you any good, you kept talking. "Don't you dare try to put blame on me for this summer going to shit, because it's not my fault Ron! It's not my fault you're jealous of Bill, it's not my fault things aren't the same between us, and it's not my fault you don't love me back!"

Both of you froze as the words left your mouth. You wanted Ron to say something, needed him to say something, but he remained silent. You couldn't read his emotions and it was going to drive you crazy.

Ron stared at you, his eyes full to the brim with turbulent emotions that you couldn't read. All he did was shake his head.

"I don't want you with Bill," he finally said.

"You're not my boyfriend! You've made that perfectly clear!" You shouted back, your voice cracking halfway through the sentence.

Ron raked his hands through his messy hair, obvious frustrated. "If I were your boyfriend..." he started. "If I were your boyfriend... I wouldn't...." He glanced up at you and the words stopped forming at his mouth. You had tear streaks on your face and your eyes were still watery. The look of you must have shaken him too much for him to continue speaking.

"But you're fucking not! So stop acting like you are, because it hurts too much," you responded, all the fire gone from your argument. Instead it was replaced with a sad silence, the only sounds were the rustle in the tree branches and your occasional sniffle.

"I never meant to hurt you," he said, taking a step closer with his hand out to you, almost like he was thinking of reaching out to you.

You couldn't do this. You couldn't stay there, letting him reach out to touch you. It was clear he didn't love you back, so you couldn't stay and let him hold you when there wasn't any hope. You backed away from him, shaking your head as tears continued to fall down your cheeks.

"You did. You do," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. If not for Ron's body suddenly becoming stiff, you would have thought he didn't hear you.

"Y/n, please..." he began, but no words followed. You shook your head again before turning and running back inside to the Burrow.

Nobody moved when you entered the dimly lit house. The family was sitting around the crackling fire, chatting with one another. But all talk stopped as soon as you entered.

Hastily wiping the tears from your eyes, you tried to make yourself presentable.

"Sweetheart," Mrs Weasley said with that loving tone of hers only a mother could have, "are you alright?"

You nodded, despite the fact that you knew none of them believed you.

"I'm just a little tired is all, I think I'm going to head up to bed," you said, before climbing the stairs as quickly as possible.

As soon as you entered your makeshift room in the attic, you slammed the door shut behind you. You couldn't even make it to the bed before you crumbled onto the ground, your back pressed against the door. Drawing your knees up to your chest, you buried your head in your arms and let yourself cry.

Sobs racked your body as you replayed the conversation from outside. Ron didn't want you. He didn't love you back. He was angry and jealous, but he still didn't love you back.

You stayed there, pressed against the door for the next hour. Everyone headed up to bed at some point and Hermione and Ginny came to check on you. They explained how Harry told them about what happened outside but you just asked them to let you be alone for now. Being the good friends they are, they listened to your request, but not before Ginny promised to "beat Ron to a pulp for hurting you" the next morning.

Even Harry came to check on you. He was visibly uncomfortable, crying girls were never his strong suit (as you could remember from his first kiss with Cho Chang) but he still managed to give you a comforting hug. You thanked him and he left almost as quickly as he arrived. You got ready for bed in a trance, your eyes now swollen from the crying. Slipping on your pajamas, you barely noticed you were throwing on the vintage band shirt Ron had gotten you for a gift earlier. This only made you cry more. Dite landed on your shoulder as you lay in your bed. She affectionately pecked your ear and nuzzled her feathers against your cheek.

"I'm okay, Dite," you told her, petting her soft feathers. Your fingers traced the black heart on her head. Ron bought you an owl named Aphrodite, with a heart literally on her feathers, but he couldn't even tell you he loved you. These mixed signals made your head and heart both throb.

You fell asleep fitfully, waking up every couple of hours and tossing and turning in bed. Tomorrow was Percy's party, and you had to be okay for it. You couldn't let Ron know just how much he had hurt you. You would be fine tomorrow. You would be fine, just like you had been these past few weeks. You would be fine.

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asterekmess · 4 years

Text

Werewolves and Why I Love Them

So, hi, my name is Tali and I’m a werewolf addict.

I’ve been pretty much obsessed with werewolves since right around the time I turned twelve. The entirety of Teen Wolf aside, I’ve loved them for years. I wrote my first novel about them. I dream about them regularly (like two days ago, for instance). The majority of my original fiction is about werewolves.

For the longest time I honestly didn’t understand why I loved them so much. I mean sure, I’m in love with nighttime and am fucking entranced by full moons. I guess that helps. But it always felt like so much more than that, to the point that I used to wish desperately that I would find out I was a secret werewolf and just hadn’t changed yet, in the same way other kids wished they had magic powers. My husband and I joke pretty often about how I’m just a lil more wolfy than is probably normal. Or catlike, we can never decide.

There’s a reason for that, that I’ve found makes so much fucking sense???

I’m neurodivergent. Specifically, I have ADHD. I’ve always had it, bc that’s how it works, but you’d be surprised at how much elementary school’s strict structuring and constant supervision can keep a people-pleasing, terrified of rejection, neurodivergent kid under control. I masked most of my symptoms and I masked them well. Even at home, to the point that although I was diagnosed really young, my mother was insistent that I had no need for medication or therapy to help me deal with the altered development of my brain.

Then came middle school and my rebellious stage, where I finally stopped acting the way other people wanted me to act. Boom. ADHD symptoms galore, and my mother was flabbergasted. I was about Twelve.

Cue the werewolf obsession.

It was only once I started learning about all the symptoms I’d just assumed everybody was dealing with and figured out how to examine the ways that my neurological disorder effected my life, that it all started to make so much more sense.

Dude, werewolves are basically hyped up embodiments of ADHD.

Now, do not misinterpret me. I’m not comparing ADHD people to dogs or animals of any kind. That’s not what this is about.

This is about werewolves being almost painfully realistic representations of many ADHD symptoms from inside the ADHD person’s head.

You see ADHD people onscreen rarely, and usually when they show up they’re presented in much the same way Stiles is in the first episode. Jumpy, Distracted, Hyperactive, Addicted to meds. It sucks. And even when there is good representation, what the audience sees is almost always the neurotypical point of view rather than the pov of the actual ADHD person. You see them doing things for seemingly no reason, reacting to nothing or getting worked up over tiny things. Even the good rep doesn’t really encapsulate what it’s like to be inside that person’s head.

In my experience, werewolves get that shit right, even though it’s on accident.

There are so many things we relate to werewolves that actually express ADHD symptoms incredibly well.

Noticing sounds that other people can’t hear. (The buzz of a lightbulb or the hum of the fridge)

Getting hopeless distracted by other people’s conversations, even if they’re all the way across the room, just because you latched onto their voice.

Having strong reactions to scents and tastes and textures, that leave you nauseous around certain foods and keep you from being able to walk through the chemical aisle at Wal-mart (or is that just me?).

Impulsivity that makes you do things even you can’t fully understand, including things that you didn’t actually want to do.

Emotions that run so high you don’t know what to do with yourself.

That constant buzzing under the skin that says be more do more be more do more until you just want to run until you exhaust yourself.

Zoning out and losing literally all sense of time, occasionally with a bout of memory loss.

Constantly being on guard in public and adjusting everything from your behavior to your personality just so you can seem “normal.” Until it’s like you’re two different people.

Being unable to properly express yourself with words and it getting so fucking frustrating that you want to just growl and bite and scream (howl) to make them back off until you can think again.

Having things about yourself that some people call gifts but that others call a curse and not knowing which one to believe.

Right down to routines (wolves are on a monthly routine) and meditation or focal points (anchors) being the only way to deal with the sensory overload and calm yourself down.

Lots of ADHD people I know are really tactile. It makes perfect sense. Touch releases happy chemicals and we are perpetually lacking the happy chemicals. I myself love tactility, if only from literally one person. The concept of “puppy piles” is so fucking nice I can’t even describe it. It gives me a fucking serotonin high just thinking about it.

The reassurance that the concept of “packs” brings, a community of people just like you who accept you and let you be yourself? People who will accommodate you without blaming you for making their lives more difficult? That is so much harder to find than you think, even amongst other neurodivergent people.

Not to mention, when a werewolf freaks out about the loud noise or jumps at the slam of a door across the house? People just accept it. No one questions it, cus’ “They’re a werewolf.”

Werewolf shows or books or fanfic show a werewolf acting in a way that ‘normal’ people would find incredibly weird, but from their point of view. They let the audience hear the noise that made the wolf react. They alter the lens (sometimes really badly) so that you get a visual representation of the wolf’s vision tunneling so they only think about that one thing right now and none of the rest of the world matters.

No calling them ‘obsessed’ or ‘sensitive’ or ‘paranoid.’ No viewing them as ‘That annoying character who freaks out at nothing.’ Now the audience can see the cacophany of having that mindset and those feelings. They actually understand.

When I read about werewolves, I feel like I’m reading my own fucking thoughts. Yes, my dude, I totally feel you. The squeak of that person’s brakes might not bother anyone else because they can tune it out, but you can’t and it feels like the loudest sound in the world. No one else can smell that scent on the bed or the couch from like three weeks ago, but by god it’ll give you a fucking headache when you’re trying to sleep. Running off all that energy must be nice. I too lose my temper at the tiniest things for no discernible reason and have feelings so intense that I can’t breathe. I feel you about there being too much going on all the time, and I can’t get my homework done either.

It’s no fucking wonder that Stiles fits in so well with werewolves.

For ages I thought I was a total freak for being so obsessed with werewolves, but it’s just because I relate to them so damn much. Mystery solved, I can go back to my fanfic in peace.

Tldr; Werewolves are good ADHD rep and you won’t change my mind.

#personal #rant #ADHD #Oh and Yes this does also explain why I have a weird kinship with the Witcher #and literally any other character with heightened senses #impulsivity #and a Lot of feelings #with a bad temper to boot #sorry for the #long post #werewolves

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ranaeissance · 4 years

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Glad you're back ! I'd really love recommandations and tips on how to stay focused and motivated in distance learning. I struggle to wake up and study these days, and I find that having a regular rhythm is harder when studying from home...

hey nonnyyy!! so sorry for the late reply </3 thank you for the ask and the welcome back. i hope you’re doing alright wherever you are :) i’ll try to address your question in two parts: 1) life indoors and 2) distance learning where I’ll suggest both practical and lifestyle (?) advice. hopefully, by doing this it will address your concerns about staying focused and motivated.

How to stay focused and motivated during online schooling; a guide by @ranaeissance

I. Adjusting to life indoors as a student and individual

Mimic the life schedule you had before and adapt it to an indoor setting.

This one is really important. It’s not a matter of ignoring that our lives have changed, but rather it is trying to maintain a sense of regularity in new circumstances. This should help in finding some sort of a rhythm in your school and personal life.

Schedule times for your usual meals, your class schedule, your school lunches, your sleeping times, and of course to include breaks where necessary.

Colour blocking feature on Google Calendar is super fun for scheduling!!

Separate school, studying, and life

Reiterating the above point, to maintain a regular rhythm you have to know when it is time for school and when it is time for you.

School time is your designated morning routine, zoom calls, and lunch breaks. Studying is after these windows and/or during the weekend. Most importantly, your ‘me-time’ is your breaks, when you unwind after a long day or on the weekend. Don’t let your chemistry revision go into dinner and don’t let your social media distract you during your zoom calls.

Reach out to others.

For many of us, being indoors has drastically impacted our mental health, wellbeing, and interactions. Just remember that you’re not alone in this! Whether it be messaging friends and family, saying hello in someone’s DMs or sending an anonymous ask, reach out to others.

Give yourself a change of scenery from technology and school work

To break yourself out of the miserable cycle that is online schooling, every day try to do something different or out of routine. Perhaps during breaks, you walk around the house, daydream, look out the window or read. Maybe listen to new music or watch a new movie… talk to an old friend.

II. Staying focused and motivated in distance learning

Utilise the pomodoro technique

This is a technique I can never stop recommending to others! You don’t have to follow the usual structure and can always adapt it to how long you can focus. If you find yourself losing focus where you have difficulty paying attention to the words on the page or you find your eyes wandering elsewhere then it’s time to give yourself a break.

A good rule of thumb is a 10-15 minute break every 30-45mins.

Avoid using your devices or any other distractions while studying or at school

Being at home, you’re bound to be surrounded by all sorts of distractions. A good way to manage your distractions and stay focused is to

Use Forest (iOS, Android, desktop)

Turn off your device or leave it somewhere unreachable

Stop studying 2 hours before you sleep

Give yourself free time, allow yourself to relax and unwind after a long day to rejuvenate for the next day

On the more practical side, this will hopefully help to adjust your body clock and reduce the effects of screen time (eye strain and sleep)

Notes on workload:

Utilise the ABCDE method by @aescademic to organise your priorities - another personal favourite

Set SMART goals - I used to think these were lame in school but they actually help a lot with refining goals and making them more achievable

Additional ways to organise tasks:

By priority (e.g. by due date) By difficulty By time required By subject

Separate your online activity and works (i.e. tabs) by subject and scheduled periods. This should reinforce a clear distinction between your work and help visualise your workload. That being said, remember to close your tabs when you’re done!!

My others posts on motivation:

Gaining and maintaining motivation

Additional tips on motivation and organisation

III. General advice

Allow light and a breeze to filter through your room in the morning and/or during the day. It’s a great way to reset your body clock to the time of the day and remind yourself that the outside world still exists :’)

As soon as you wake up, get out of your soft blankets and pillows and get up!! Save your phone scrolling for later!! Make your bed!!

If you’re more of a night owl try to reduce your blue light during nighttime. I suggest changing your devices to warm light using ‘Night Mode’ (iOS), Twilight (Android) or f.lux (Mac/Windows).

Always give yourself breaks!! Don’t forget to treat yourself after a day of work :( Of course, be strict with yourself but be kind when you need it most.

On that note, good luck anon with online schooling (and to anyone else still at school!) I wish you all the best and if you ever need help with anything my inbox and dms are always open <3

Other helpful posts:)

Types of procrastination and how to deal with them - @emmastudies

How to stop avoiding studying - @emmastudies

Time management tips - @studycalleis

Tips for doing online classes - @study-sleep-tea-repeat

Online classes and exams tips - @eunoiamaybe

Tips for online classes - @universtudy

Productivity while working from home - @daisystudies

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alex-ruins-everything · 4 years

Text

Turning Pages - Chapter 7

Intrulogical bookshop au! Read the whole thing on ao3 here.

Logan took the steps back up to his apartment two at a time. Highly illogical considering the risk of falling, but he felt like his brain was short circuiting. The spot on his cheek where Remus had kissed him metaphorically felt like it was on fire. As he made it through his door he let go of a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding in. Logan had gone on a date with one of the strangest people he had ever met, but more importantly, he had liked it. He’d had possibly one of the best times of his life, which wasn’t too hard considering he usually spent time reading or studying or working. It was odd, he almost wished he had somebody to talk to about the events of the date, ‘gushing’ it would probably be called. That was insane, though. He didn’t gush, though for the first time he felt like he might want to.

Logan forced himself to go through his nighttime ritual, same as he always did, with one exception. He revisited the outfit he had set out for the next day and swapped out the previously chosen grey and blue pinstripe tie for the octopus one Remus had bought him from the gift shop. Thankfully it still coordinated with what he had planned to wear. As much as he still felt like his whole mind was going through a power surge, he still had to return back to reality tomorrow and an appropriate amount of sleep was required for that. He dozed off making a mental list of books he could recommend for Remus to read, just like he had promised to.

The alarm went off at the same time it did every morning, causing Logan to be pulled out of sleep as he blindly reached for his glasses on his nightstand before shutting off the harsh beeping. It was early, a consistent sleep schedule was highly important, but he didn’t have to be into the bookshop until three this afternoon, which left him lots of morning time to check off some chores and engage in recreation. He went through his strict morning routine, finishing it off with getting dressed and admiring his new tie a little bit. He finally thought to check his phone and saw he had a few texts from Remus, which wasn’t unusual he had noted. The mustached man seemed to disregard the use of paragraphs and texted in fragments. It was chaotic, quite like he was. The messages took a few seconds to decode due to the rather unusual way Remus texted, but they were just informing Logan that he had gotten home alright and that Roman was surprised he had actually gotten on the motorcycle. His favorite was a picture he had received of the stuffed octopus - Cthuwu - sitting on top of Remus’ messy hair with the other making some sort of silly face. That simple picture was enough to make Logan smile before responding to the messages.

The rest of his morning was spent tidying up and reading a few chapters of his book while keeping an eye on the time. Logan thought that maybe he could leave a few minutes early today and pick up a treat for the shop, like Patton usually did. It was seen as a kind gesture so he figured there would be no harm in bringing something in. For some reason he also deemed it a good day to walk through the park, the geese not seeming nearly as annoying today. By the time he got to the bookshop with a box of donuts in hand (truly something he’d never usually approve of, they’re horrible for you) it was three exactly. It was unlike Logan to be on time and not early, but at least he wasn’t late. He nodded his hello to Patton as he passed by the shelves and greeted Mr. Sanders before retreating to the back room to set the box down on the table and clock in.

“Logan! Oh, I’ve been waiting all day for you to come in!” Patton grinned, practically skipping into the break room.

“Why? Did something bad happen?” Logan questioned, pulling his apron out of his bag and unfolding it.

“What? No. I wanna hear about your date! If you wanna share, of course…”

“Oh,” Logan said with a nod. “It went quite well. We went to the aquarium and then got coffee.”

“You’re bad at gossiping, L,” Virgil said, joining the circle that was forming. “Ro told me that Remus got you onto his motorcycle.”

“Is everyone coming back here? Who’s watching the front?” Logan asked as Virgil entered the conversation.

“Ooh! You rode a motorcycle?” Patton said, ignoring the question. “You must really like this guy, huh? That’s kinda dangerous…”

“He assured me it was completely safe - or, well...safe enough,” Logan replied, pulling his apron on and tying the back. “Truly I don’t know why you both care so much, it’s not that exciting.”

“Well...you never really go out unless we drag you out,” Patton admitted. “We’re just happy for you. Right, kiddo?”

“Right,” Virgil nodded. “I mean, I have no clue what you see in Remus, but you do you.”

“You’re literally dating his identical twin brother,” Logan deadpanned. “Now, come on. My dating life is not important. I’m sure Mr. Sanders is wondering where you all ran off to.”

The three of them filed out of the room, Patton grabbing one of the donuts on the way. Logan joined Mr. Sanders behind the counter, reaching for a white binder that had the setups for the new display tables he would be working on today.

“So you got the ambush, huh?” the bookshop owner asked with a knowing smile.

“Please, not you too. It’s truly not that interesting,” Logan replied, flipping through pages.

“Oh, c’mon. You remember how Pat was after Virgil’s first date with Roman, it’s sorta just how friends are.”

“Yes, well...I did get the ambush, though apparently I’m terrible at gossiping,” Logan said, finding the proper page finally.

“Well anyone coulda told you that,” Mr. Sanders chuckled. “Nice new tie, by the way. It reminds me of a certain someone.”

“Thank you. It’s from the gift shop.”

The rest of Logan’s day was spent setting up new display tables and helping out the few customers that came in. Patton went home first since he had opened with Mr. Sanders that day, and Virgil followed a few hours later. Logan was excused for his break where he simply chose to sit in the back and flip through a new book that came in. He checked his texts to see a new one from Remus asking if he wanted to meet him after closing the shop tonight, followed by a suggestion for getting dinner together. There was also another picture of a yellow snake wrapped around the stuffed octopus from the aquarium further up. Logan responded to the text that dinner would be satisfactory before going back to finish up his shift.

Closing went fairly quickly considering there were two people doing the job rather than one, and they finished in half the time it usually took. Mr. Sanders bid Logan a goodnight, assuring him that he’d lock up the shop. Logan was met with Remus leaning against his motorcycle holding the spare helmet he had worn for their aquarium date.

“Howdy, Loganberry,” he grinned.

“Hello, Remus Kingsley,” Logan greeted, assuming they were using full names, hence the confusion when it made Remus laugh.

“C’mon, I hope you’re hungry...and that you don’t loathe sand too much,” Remus said, sticking the helmet onto Logan’s head and holding out a hand for the other’s bag so that he could secure it on the bike.

“I’m not fond of it, but I can tolerate the stuff so long as you don’t plan on us eating sand for dinner,” he replied, handing over his belongings and securing the helmet.

“A novel idea! I will jot that down on the to-try list, but no, not tonight. Maybe next time if I don’t manage to scare you away.”

“You truly aren’t that scary, I don’t see how you would,” Logan shrugged lightly as Remus slung his jacket back on. “But don’t eat sand.”

“No promises, Nerdy Wolverine,” Remus laughed again. “But c’mon! I really tapped into my hidden romantic side for this.”

Logan was very tempted to ask what he was getting himself into here, but had the sense Remus wanted to keep it a surprise even if he did ask. He joined the other on the motorcycle and they sped away from the bookshop, following the signs that led them towards the coastal area near their town which only served to continue to peak his curiosity. He didn’t come down here often, mostly because he didn’t swim at the beach and didn’t generally enjoy the company of the people who did, what other reason would there be? Remus always seemed to have some sort of adventure planned so here he was, getting pulled out of his usual comfort zone. Though, it wasn’t too bad when he remembered who was doing the pulling. It was about twenty minutes before the smell of the ocean hit and Remus parked the bike outside of a diner.

“We’re here!” He declared happily, killing the engine. “I’m telling you, this place has to die for, well...everything. Plus we can sit outside and watch the water!”

“Well, I’ve trusted you up to this point, there’s no logical reason for me to stop now.”

“I love the way you think, Loganberry. Onward we go!”

TAGLIST

@theiwatobiicepic

#alex-writes-everything #turning pages #intrulogical #prinxiety #moceit #remus sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides

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less--soft · 5 years

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New year, New goals, and no excuses 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

hi lovelies, for anyone who has followed me for a while, you know ive been gone from here for a while. i have acceptedand embeaced things about my body that no amount of diet and excercise will ever change, but here i am having gained over the holidays and i wanted to try to ease back into calorie counting and really try to build some better habits this year.

even though my goal weight isn't very low, i want to lose enough weight to be a normal, fully functioning size lady who doesn't have to worry about health risks associated with obesity.

THAT BEING SAID, the only thing that has EVER helped me eat consistently healthy and have good portion control has been the strict mindset and discipline ive learned from the ana community. no matter what i do or try, the only thing that has given me any amount of control over my binge eating disorder has been the inspiration, discipline, and focus that being in the ana community gives me. i am here for myself and to live my healthiest life. I DO NOT PROMOTE THIS LIFESTYLE CHOICE but its the ONLY thing that helps me not overeat and avoid unhealthy foods.

my body is going through some changes and I've been having a lot of weird reactions to foods I've always eaten and really need to do some elimination dieting to figure out what is causing me to be nauseous, bloated, gassy, and generally not feeling well lately.

this might just be my rough draft of what im changing until i figure out what i need to cut out of my diet completely, but i want to establish some new, good habits to stick to going forward.

Always drink water when you first wake up

Avoid dairy

NO fried foods, popcorn instead of chips always

No calories in drinks except coffee and tea

Avoid baked goods and candy (i am a cake decorator in a bakery, so this one is almost impossible for me to avoid 100%)

No white bread, whole grain only

never take vitamins on an empty stomach

High protein breakfast EVERYDAY

Green smoothie with fiber three times a week

Vegetables or plant based food at every meal

Intermittent fast as often as possible, skip dinner or no eating after 6pm

Drink 8-12oz of water for every three bites of food

Plan every meal as best as i can

NON FOOD GOALS AND HABITS

Track calories

Track sleep

Begin to build a consistent bedtime routine with no phone, meditation, and no nighttime eating, take medication

Build a better morning routine, eat good breakfast and meditate

Walk at least 45 mins a day: get off the bus a stop early and/or walk to the next stop

Floss every day

Wash face every single night

Drink water before bed

These goals will change as i get back into a more rigid routine and have my mind focused on not overeating and hopefully figure out why my stomach has been so messed up lately.

Wish me luck everyone and thank you for being an awesome community ❤🌠

#restricting #intermittent fast #diet #dont eat #eat less #ana #ana things #dont binge #binge eating disorder #not pro #personal

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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638

What website is it easy to spend too much time on? Reddit. I used to spend hours on end on Reddit back when I had just discovered it and saw how many subreddits I can check out, but I’ve toned down these days. I mostly use scroll through the popular tag to help me fall asleep, but I still spend a lot of time on it nonetheless. What's been bothering you lately? One of my classes is a subject I never really wanted to venture into because it will demand me to be insanely extroverted, but I didn’t have a choice but to take it and now I’m worried for my sanity for the next four months. Do you ever get cravings for cheese? Yeah but I’m not as crazy for cheese as most girls around me seem to be lolol. Cheese is ayts. I mostly like it as a dip for Korean barbecue, and I don’t really like the more challenging/funky cheeses. Do you ever crave affection? Yep, sometimes I act needy towards my girlfriend. Would you name your baby after someone or give him/her his or her own name? Their main name would be their own, but I wouldn’t be opposed to having their second name be a tribute to somebody important to me. For instance, if I have a son I’ve always thought of giving him Owen as a second name as an homage to Owen Hart.

Do you think boys can wear pink and girls can wear blue? It’s 2020. We’re way past pink vs. blue now lmfao. But yes, of course. Which hair curlers have you had the best luck with? I don’t use those. What is the best way to curl your hair? In like the four times I’ve had my hair curled, the stylists always used a flat iron. Don't you hate it when people act like idiots just to make you mad? That’s a different level of assholery, but yep I imagine that would piss me off. If you were thrown into a lion's den, would you trust God to save you? Nope, I’ll be saying goodbye to all my loved ones in my head. Do you wish you could call the police on the police? Not in this country, because most police are abusive and dicks. Do you write in cursive or print more? Print. My penmanship is nicer that way, because my writing usually comes out in messy scribbles when I try to write in script. But I always regularly practice my high school’s unique cursive anyway so that I never forget it/get rusty at it. Were you alive before the Internet came out? No, I think the Internet was already kind of a thing by 1998. Do you like that trends from the 90's are coming back in style? Yeah tbh I’m a fan. I love the simple t-shirt/mom jeans combo because it looks so effortless, and because it’s pieces I already have in my closet lmao. ....or would you rather have the trends stay the same as the last decade? Not really, I’m pretty good with all the 90s stuff coming back. Some kids ruined it by wearing chunky sneakers too much, but I like all the other trends that came with it, like bucket hats and belts. What was a horrible trend when you were in high school? I honestly didn’t know much about the trends when I was in high school because 1) we wore our school uniforms every single day, so imagine having one outfit 5/7 days a week, and 2) being from a Catholic school, we had a very strict dress code so it’s not like we could wear whatever the trends were. I do remember never being impressed with Roshes though. What is a horrible trend now? Hype/street clothes like DBTK. What would you do differently if you were God? Not make people suffer. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be God? No. If I did, I’d run far far away from them. If you had to leave the US and never come back, where would you move? First of all, I have to live in the US before I can leave the US. Would you buy a castle if you could afford one? Sure, whatever. What is something you aren't ok with? My default answer would be homophobia. Do you know anyone who isn't fake? Sure. I know more not-fake people than those who are. Name five people you know who aren't fake. Laurice, Aya, Tina, Danika, Amanda. Do you fully trust anyone? Yes. How many true Christians do you know? Do you know any? What does being a ‘true’ Christian even mean? Do you think someone's value is based on how much money they have or make? No. Would you rather be an aborted baby or a victim of child abuse? Wow THIS IS THE WORST QUESTION EVER. What's one trend you're behind the times on? Tiktok. I do nooooooot understand it for the life of me and do not wish to. Do idiots act like know-it-alls a lot around you? I think know-it-alls act like know-it-alls regardless of who they’re with. Do you think it's ok to call an idiot an idiot? Not to their face, but yes I’ve used that word occasionally.

If you had a child with down's syndrome, would you keep him/her? I’m honestly not sure, and I don’t really like stressing about that kind of stuff this early. Don't you wish people who weren't qualified would stop getting handed leadership positions? Obviously. But there’s little we can do, with the key word there being ‘handed.’ Who is the worst plagiarizer you know? People in high school would copy-paste whole paragraphs from websites or textbooks onto group papers and I hate those people to this day. If someone tried to murder your child, do you think it would be wrong to expose them publicly and talk about it on social media? It wouldn’t be the best and smartest way to go, especially if it was the first thing I planned on doing. ...Why do you think people think this is wrong? Because I would be putting vulnerable people under limelight they never asked for, and because I’d be talking about confidential stuff, especially if the whole ordeal is currently going through a legal process, which is stupid. Is there a toxic person that you miss? You know, despite how close I was with Athenna, I’ve never missed her. Are you still contemplating going back to someone you shouldn't? Nope. What do you need right now? I’m gonna need a higher inner morale for my business reporting class, which is the class I’m really scared about. When was the last time you had a new crush? December 2013. Do you know any "Christians" who are rude and judgmental? Almost all the Christians I know are rude and judgmental. What would you do if your Bible was falling apart? I dunno. Leave it wherever it’s always been. Do you have coffee with Jesus every morning? Groan. Do you pretend to be someone you're not on facebook? Why or why not? No because I have no reason to do that. Do you know anyone who pretends to be a Christian to get attention? Ooooh interesting haha, but no. I’m sure in this time and place they’d get called out almost immediately. Do you want Jesus to come back soon? I’m gonna paraphrase a quote from Friends and say “I know you’re asking me a lot of Jesus questions, but all I hear is blahhhhhblahhhhhhhhhblahhhhhhhhhh.” Do you believe that Jesus is going to come back in your lifetime? Holy shit. Would you rather wear blue jeans or jeggings? Blue jeans. I’ve never owned jeggings. What is the most comfortable type of pants ever? Anything but skinny jeans. What is something you can't wear because of your body type? I can’t wear dresses that are loose around the chest area. Stuff like those are loose because the boobs are meant to hold them up and give someone a flattering figure, but if I tried to wear those, the dress would drop down all the way to my stomach lmao. If you have curves, do you like them? I have some curves, but I’m generally skinny. I do like the ones I have though. What is the curviest part of your body? Butt. Have you ever been punished for doing the right thing? I don’t think so. How often do you cry? One or two times a week would be a good guess. How many Christians do you know who actually care? This is very vague. Is Tumblr all that it's hyped up to be? But it’s not hyped at all these days... Tumblr definitely already peaked a few years ago, and I don’t know what people are saying about it now. At what age do you think someone is old enough to give advice? I don’t think there’s an age requirement for advice. Have you ever worn matching pajamas with someone? No. What helps you fall asleep? When I’m alone, I need it to be quiet or at the very most have white noise around, like the buzz of an aircon or the whir of the electric fan. When I’m sleeping with my girlfriend I have to be cuddled and I have to fall asleep first, or else I’ll keep waking up and twist and turn through the night. I’m a difficult person to fall asleep with huhuh sorry Gab :’( Do you have a nighttime routine? No. I just scroll through social media until my eyes get tired enough to fall asleep within seconds. What was the last mountain you climbed? Not sure, but it was in Sagada. Who is the fakest Christian you know? One of my titas, although I love her to death, is a very devout Christian but had a meltdown/breakdown when her daughter (my cousin) revealed she was dating a black guy. I was stunned when my mom told me all about the ‘drama’ and it took every cell in my body not to explode and give a sermon to everyone else in my family who was upset about it. Just for context, Filipinos are among the MOST RACIST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET so stuff like this WILL be a big deal, especially among our traditional Gen X/Boomer population. Who are the fakest friends you've had? Athenna and Fern. Who's the most narcissistic person you know? I don’t know anyone like this, fortunately. Maybe me because I like taking these surveys??? Jk :((( Who gives the best hugs? Laurice!!! Who was the last person you hugged? My girlfriend.

#survey #surveys

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keelywolfe · 5 years

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FIC: One Hand Behind Your Back (baon)

Summary: Playing stupid games, winning stupid prizes.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, References to Illness, Kustard

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

Stretch didn’t have much in the way of an internal clock, but all it took was a quick glance at his phone confirm it was early enough that Edge probably hadn’t gone to work yet.

He rolled over in the bed to debate internally about that, trying to decide if it was worth waiting to get up to play at avoidance, but it didn’t really matter, did it? Edge would come up to kiss him goodbye before he left and besides, the siren smell of fresh brewed coffee was wafting into their bedroom.

In the end, he got up and pulled on his robe. Whatever would be, would be, and at least he’d have caffeine.

As suspected, Edge was sitting at the kitchen table, newspaper spread out in front of him as he sipped what was probably the third cup into his second pot of coffee. Honestly, Stretch loved him a cuppa, too, but Edge’s magic should be flowing in a dark roast by now.

“What are you doing up?” Edge asked, looking up with a frown. His pen, which had been in the process of circling any information in the paper that was worth passing on, hesitated, the tip trailing against the newsprint.

“don’t sound so happy to see me,” Stretch yawned, making his way to the coffee pot. “people’ll think we’re in love.”

Edge rolled his eye lights and went back to the paper. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but seeing you this early throws me off.”

Stretch poured a healthy, or well, probably not healthy at all measure of sugar into his cup, topping it with cream and then taking a deep, contented drink of the muddy results. That finished the pot, but he flicked the burner off instead of making a fresh one. If Edge wanted to up his daily jitter ratio, he could make another.

He leaned against the counter, taking a moment to admire the view. Edge was in one of his ‘I mean business’ work suits and there was something about seeing him all classy, in a dark crimson shirt and a black tie that had some seizure-inducing swirly pattern on it. Except he had his sleeves rolled up, jacket tossed over the back of a chair and Stretch would bet his lesser-used femur that no one at the Embassy got to see him like that. Classy, yeah, but ever so slightly taken apart, almost an invitation to disassemble him a little more.

It was like a sexy disguise, really, only much better than anything Batman had.

Any other day, Stretch would probably straddle Edge’s lap and make a good attempt at pushing his luck. Today he only wandered close enough to drape himself over the back of Edge’s chair.

“sorry i wrecked your groove. hmmm, you ever notice you call me sweetheart when you’re being a dick?” He grinned to take the sting out of it, nuzzling a smacking, wet kiss against the top of Edge’s skull.

Edge didn’t quite jerk away, but he did twitch and gave Stretch a look.

Actually, it was more like a Look, but that was okay. Stretch only smiled sweetly and leaned down, giving him a real kiss because those tended to soothe all looks and Looks when it came to his honey.

As per, Edge hummed appreciatively, kissing back for a long, toe-curling moment before pulling away and going back to his paper. “I’ll take your word on that, considering you’re the runner-up for the championship.”

“runner-up!”

Exchanging a Look for a smirk, oh, his baby was in fine form this morning. “Apologies, sweetheart, but my brother will always be better at being a dick than you.”

“eh, yeah, there’s an argument i can’t win.” But Stretch couldn’t help smiling because damn, he loved this asshole. He loved him so, so much…and he kinda needed him to leave. He plunked down into one of the chairs, picking at one of the half-eaten muffins Edge had on his plate. Long moments ticked by of Edge picking his dinosaur way through the paper, and yeah, he was going to have to move this along.

Nonchalantly, Stretch pulled out his phone and made a show of absently scrolling through it. “ooh, babe, you’re gonna be late.”

It worked. Edge looked at his own phone and made a disgruntled sound, folding up the newspaper and tossing it into his briefcase. He was only halfway into his jacket when he leaned down to steal another kiss and Stretch sighed into it, wishing he could share his affections as easily as he could his mouth, wishing he could damn well beam his love into Edge like Star Trek, one of the good episodes.

Meh, it wasn’t like Edge didn’t know. He hoped.

He waited until the front door closed and he heard the car start, pulling out of the garage and then down the road. Then he dropped his head down to rest it on his folded arms, breathing in slowly, letting it out.

Five minutes was all he allowed himself and then Stretch stood up. Time to get this over with.

Outside, there was a thin, fresh layer of snow on the ground, putting a lie to the idea that spring had sprung. It suited his mood and Stretch only zipped his jacket and burrowed deeper into his coat. It wasn’t like he was walking far anyway, not when a couple shortcuts would do.

~~*~~

All the windows were dark, and the glaring light on the front porch was less invitation than it was warning. Stretch ignored that, shortcutting up to the stairs.

Deliberately, he stepped on the pressure plate that he knew was concealed beneath the welcome mat. It set off a buzzer inside the house and he may as well annoy while he had the chance.

The front door remained closed, which meant either no one was home or no one cared he was here, and Stretch had pretty good odds on the latter. He knocked firmly. And again. Again, finally pounding on the door.

It swung open mid-pound and Stretch nearly fell forward on top of Red. Probably good that he didn’t; from the glare Red was sending up at him, he probably would have gotten shivved before they hit the ground.

“stretch, this better be good,” he growled. One of his eye lights was flickering, on the verge of going out.

Oooh, scary, especially with the way his shirt was on backwards.

“don’t even start with me, captain cockblock.” Stretch didn’t bother trying to shove Red aside to get in, sparing himself a possible stabbing by shortcutting into the front room. The strain of so many cuts in a brief time was starting to ache a little in his chest so he was either walking most of the way home or hanging out with the strangler here for a while. “i can’t even count how many times you’ve kept me from getting laid and i can recite pi for an hour. i need to talk to sans.”

From the shifty look Red was giving him, he was working up an excuse. Stretch deliberately toed at one of the shoes laying on its side on the mat, a shoe that decidedly did not belong to a Red and unless someone else in New New home was working lazyass chic, he knew who they belonged to.

Fuck it, they all knew who those shoes belonged to; these two could be dicks about it all they wanted, but no one except them was that stupid. Even Papyrus had more or less started discreetly leaving the cushion on the sofa next to Sans empty on movie nights, on the strict, unspoken understanding that whenever Red bothered to show up, if he showed up, that was where his ass belonged.

“for fuck’s sake, he knows i’m here,” came floating down the stairs. Proof that Sans at least had his head on in the general direction of straight. He appeared with a pop of teleportation directly on the sofa, still pulling a shirt over his head. “i’m not crouching in the closet with my pants halfway up waiting for you to get rid of him. hey, stretch, what’s up?”

Red was sputtering next to him like a cat in a swimming pool, but Stretch couldn’t pay attention to that. Now that he was in front of Sans, fear was choking him again, rising up thick and tight, clenching his soul. “check me.”

Uncomfortable prickles skittering over his bones, too much for one check, but he didn’t bother glaring at Red. Wasn’t like he didn’t know, or he wouldn’t very quickly find out. From their expressions, they were discovering the same thing he had the night before when he'd absently checked himself before bed.

Yeah, that had sucked a little.

Standing there in the bathroom, his toothbrush still in hand and foam dripping from his mouth. He hadn’t even really thought much about it for couple days, until he’d Checked. Not a minute later Edge walked in to go through his nighttime routine and all he could do was rinse his mouth and go to bed. Laying there in the darkness in Edge’s arms, listening to his even breathing, and waiting until morning when he could come here.

“the infusion didn’t work?” Sans said. His face reflected his dismay, and he was already on his feet, moving faster than most would give him credit for. “i thought-“

“no, it did work, it worked for most of the week.” Sans tugged demandingly on his sweatshirt and Stretch obediently crouched, shivering as another Check washed over him. “i noticed it dropped again last night.”

“is it still dropping?” Red asked sharply. Any irritation or sardonic humor vanished, he was all business in a blink, hovering back while Sans inspected him like a prospector in search of gold.

“don’t think so. it’s been holding steady all night. seems like my base hp just dropped to 4.”

“okay,” Red nodded slowly. He turned away and Stretch couldn’t see his face when he added, “you think if you use more of that infusion, it’ll help?”

“woah, wait a sec,” Sans straightened, letting go of Stretch’s sweatshirt so abruptly that he wobbled on his heels and fell back on his coccyx. “we’re scientists, and phd’s aside, we ain’t doctors. even if we were, we’re out of infused oil.”

“but you can make more, can’t you?” Not really a question. Red’s fingers tapped a rhythm against his femur, a thoughtful little tic.

Sans hesitated, then shook his head. “…yeah, we can, but. look, edge needs to know about this. i don’t play keep-away with this shit.”

“yeah?” Red turned back and favored them with a sharp-toothed smile. “and how’s he gonna react?”

Sans looked away. They both looked tired, Stretch realized, dark shadows under their sockets that didn’t look like they came from fun times. But Sans had very kindly invited him to stay out of it, so he wasn’t gonna ask. Not today, anyway.

Red only nodded as if Sans’s silence spoke a wiki's worth of confirmation. “fucking exactly. he’ll freak his shit and we just got him back on an even keel. fucked up shit at the embassy, fucked up shit with his…” Red bit off whatever he was going to say. “plus, we get the added bonus of paps and blue freaking their shit, and suddenly we got a shitshow on pay-per-view. is it really worth all that? say we tell him and it goes away in a week or two?”

“say we don’t tell him,” Sans countered, “and in a week or two his hp drops to three, only we didn’t tell him and he sees it on his own!”

Yeah, Stretch was about done watching these two arguing about his life. “i’ve had lower hp before, we all have. he could see it now, if he checked me. i’m not trying to hide it.”

“see?” Red wasn’t even bothering to hide his triumph. “not even a lie, only a little discreet ‘not sayin anything’.”

Years of dealing with his own crap had probably made Sans immune to anyone else’s. “yeah, it’s not me you’d have to convince of that, and you’ve got zero guesses on whether or not edge would buy stock in that line of bullshit.”

Not that he was wrong, but still—

“sans. two weeks. please,” Stretch pleaded. “i’ll go to the therapist, i’ll even see alphys if you want but…please.”

That was a carrot on a stick, a pretty fucking tasty one, and he knew it. They all hated doctors, but Stretch was usually the worst about it. Sans was visibly wavering, looking from Red to Stretch. Then he sank back with a shrug, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“you’ll go see alphys?” Sans asked, low.

“i promise.” Stretch made an ‘x’ over his soul and for good measure, held out a pinkie.

Sans hooked it with his own and sighed loudly. “okay. okay. you two are fucking me over a barrel, here, you know that.”

“that’s a new one,” Red leered. “better mark it down on our list. your magic-sucking machine still in the lab?”

Just the mention of the lab made Stretch swallow hard and that was on top of the nausea that watching Red flirting induced, “yeah, but—“

Sans must’ve still been feeling a little kindly towards him, because he didn’t force Stretch to finish. “don’t even worry about that, kiddo, the jack-off here can babysit me.”

“nah, i don’t think so,” Red said, “not my style. you can take the magic from me. specially if you’re gonna jack me off.”

“great, so stretch can grease himself up with your juicy jizz?” Sans’s grin was less forced even as Stretch made a gagging sound.

Red gave them a broad wink. “why should you have all the fun?”

“dunno if the ‘coconut cabana’ scent is gonna be enough to cover that up,” Sans said thoughtfully. “might have to take it all the way up to ‘moonlight lovebeam’ or whatever it’s called.”

“enough, i’m begging you both, stop before i barf on everyone’s shoes.” Stretch covered his mouth with one hand and crossed his eye lights in puke-pantomime. ”can we go back to pretending that i don’t know you two are screwing? it was a simpler, happier time for me.”

“you came into my house.” Red grinned. “play stupid games, win fucked up prizes. welp, i could eat right about now, not anything either of you can cook, and since we’re trying to keep pretty boy here alive, we probably shouldn’t risk mine.”

“edge made a strawberry cheese danish last night.” The least Stretch could do was offer them food, especially since he hadn’t made it.

“that’s what i like to hear!” Red slapped Stretch on the back as high as he could reach, which was still uncomfortably close to his tailbone. “let’s head back to your place, honey bun, and kill some of my bro's cooking, make some plans, yeah? get this done before himself gets home.”

“yeah, okay. can one of you…?” A faint sense of unreality washed over him, a push through the void that he never felt when he shortcutted himself. When it eased, they were standing in front of his house on the porch.”

“couldn’t put us in the living room?” Sans said disapprovingly. He grimaced as he trudged through the thin snow in his slippers.

“trust me, my bro would notice if we leave a smudge on the carpet. kick your shoes off at the door, sansy-sweet, and let’s try to be discreet?”

“you sure you wanna start playing pet names with me?” Sans asked. His tone was lazy, his eye lights anything but, “‘cause between shakespeare and the urban dictionary, think i can play to win.”

“that a promise? inquiring minds wanna know.”

Stretch trailed behind them, ignoring their squabbling. The fear that was making a home in his soul was muted, eased, a little. Not gone, no, but there was a plan now, and that was more than he usually managed.

Besides, Red knew Edge better than anyone, even him. He knew exactly how his brother would react to all this. It had to be better to try and figure it out before worrying him, see if it was an easy problem to solve, and it wasn’t like it was only the three of them, he was going to see Alphys, too.

It was a work in progress, was all, and not worth worrying him yet.

He couldn’t help playing with his wedding band while the three of them razed through the remains of the strawberry danish. The smooth metal was body-warm against his fingertips and the promises embedded into it were not ones he planned on breaking.

He’d talk to Edge if he had to, he would, tell him everything no matter how upset it would make him.

Just not yet.

-finis-

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #underfell sans #sans #kustard #by any other name

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Who won then? 🥊 Janis: But actual, you alright, yeah? Jimmy: you don't know me, I forgot Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Nah, had money on you and everything Janis: 👍 glad to hear it Jimmy: feeling like a winner 'til I try & come back in from my 🚬 & find he's locked me out Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Truly your kryptonite Janis: Cass'd open a window for ya Jimmy: not if it means round 2 Jimmy: she's #overit Janis: Might go as far as to say #fakefan Janis: you know you can come here if you actually need Janis: probably don't mention me by name though Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who's about? Jimmy: not trying to walk in on a 🥊 with Gracie Janis: Get it, she's a lot when you ain't #overit yourself Janis: just her and my two younger brothers, who are really not gonna bother with you so Janis: get her under strict instructions, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I'll let you know Janis: Try all the windows first, yeah Janis: Shoulda trained Twix to pick locks, my bad Jimmy: You literally had one job, mate Jimmy: get it together Janis: 😞 I know Janis: That's why he's really pissed, all that time I've been wasting when she coulda been a superdog by now Jimmy: you've let yourself down, that dog down & MOST importantly, you've let me down Jimmy: Oh Janet Janis: 💔 Janis: Really gonna think on what I've done Janis: and haven''t Jimmy: I woulda shown you the door if you hadn't legged it that way yourself sharpish Jimmy: so mad, like Janis: That's me, walk 'fore you make me run Janis: Soz to deprive you of that chance Janis: final fuck you, like Jimmy: if I come to yours, you gonna make it up to me? Janis: Obviously Janis: did you SO wrong gotta make it so right again, like Jimmy: I'll start walking now then Jimmy: Gotta make me hard done by enough for 🥇 Janis: Are you gonn get lost? Janis: 'cos get a safe enough distance from yours and I can come find you, like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Not an answer, lover boy Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: there you are Janis: Helpful Janis: Send out an SOS if you do then? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: He say anything you ain't heard at least 1000xs before then? Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: that'd mean he has to know what's going on Janis: Standard Janis: fun to pretend, we get it Jimmy: probably called you by the ex's name at one point Janis: Fair, he ain't asked and I ain't told but embarrassing for you sir Jimmy: he knows your name, Bobby ain't shut up 'bout you since the other day Jimmy: he loved it Janis: He's a babe Jimmy: ain't gonna stay like it living here & hearing that Janis: 😕 Janis: You're alright, ain't you Janis: just have to learn he's full of shit like you and Cass, like, which yeah Janis: shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I know Janis: Grace's mood is catching Janis: 😷 Jimmy: what's with her? Jimmy: did Mia die? Janis: I WISH Janis: fuck mourning we'd be having a party rn Janis: they're not friends currently Janis: long and short of it Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gutted I got nowt on here to wipe my tears on Jimmy: out* Janis: I hope you put clothes on Janis: rookie error otherwise Jimmy: you didn't stick round long enough to take 'em off Jimmy: your rookie error Jimmy: not gonna ruin my fancy shit though, am I? Janis: you know I'm gutted Janis: you looked so Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [selfie] Jimmy: change the tense Jimmy: still do tah Janis: 💪 still got it, kid Janis: unlike your father Jimmy: what's more goals than a #glowup Janis: I've been cute since birth so I don't know 💁 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'd say #same but there ain't that many 📷 of me to prove it Janis: I wish but you know Janis: kids are kinda my parent's thing so even at #7 & #8 they were disgustingly extra 😒 Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I trapped mine, more of a 'happy' accident Jimmy: less fun to document maybe Janis: reckon most first kids are, second and third even but after that like Janis: you know what you're doing here Janis: just didn't have your 📷 skillz Janis: baby you judging Jimmy: yeah, on my list, top one Janis: List of grievances? Janis: stick it on his windshield as you go Jimmy: 👍 deal Janis: Twix says she wants to add her own Janis: screenshotting this convo for her obvs #justgirlythings Jimmy: 🤞 she'll piss in his shoes when I ain't there to take her out in the morning Janis: Will you 💕 her then? Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: If it's a shit I might not kick her out Jimmy: tell your friend Janis: You want a companion out there in the cold, you just have to ask baby 🐶💕 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I do Janis: I didn't wanna leave but you know, for the best obviously Janis: I'll come get you forreal Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: put your running to use Janis: It's got uses Janis: 💪 Janis: but k, lemme take this ugly ass dress off first Jimmy: why did you wear it if you hate it? Janis: for the #goals Janis: it felt appropriate so I knicked it Janis: just from one of my sisters, not that rich bitch stereotype Jimmy: that'd be more #goals Jimmy: steal me better clobber if you love me, tah Janis: 😍 when he slowly introduces you to a life of crime Janis: that's how I saw this date ending fosho Jimmy: for real though don't do it again Janis: Why? Jimmy: 'Cause I like you Jimmy: we want 'em to know that Jimmy: #asyouare and all that bollocks Janis: Okay Janis: miss you a bit Jimmy: so come get me Janis: I am Janis: not that fast Jimmy: get it together, girl Jimmy: sprint not a marathon Janis: 😑 Good thing you're cute Jimmy: slowing yourself down with ugly dresses & 😍 Jimmy: what ARE you playing at Janis: Mean Janis: gonna go cry myself to sleep now instead Jimmy: you want some classic FM? Jimmy: bit of 🎻 Janis: You are rude and me and Pete are gonna bond over it Jimmy: I hope he likes dogs Jimmy: gotta know his place in the pecking order Janis: Make him get a dog with me Janis: how #goals 😍 Jimmy: you gonna move it too or make him do all the work? Jimmy: in* Janis: Probs depends how much his fam hate me Jimmy: you going for 🥇? Jimmy: or is that just for me Janis: You know you're special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: though feel bad for him, Gracie shaded him and didn't have the heart to tell her he's the love of my life 💔 Jimmy: feel worse if you did 'cause she'd be after him Janis: that's her type exclusively 😂 Jimmy: knew it Janis: plan backfired, she'll not leave you alone now, soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: really fucked me over you Janis: I know Janis: Good thing you're chucking me init Jimmy: good thing it ain't raining too 'cause if I was waiting in that for a kiss that ain't coming Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who said I ain't gona kiss ya Janis: not getting nothing out that date tah, who am I Jimmy: you not saving 'em all for Pete? bit rude Jimmy: & I bought you loads of drinks, rich girl Jimmy: that's not nowt Janis: I can have it all, babe Janis: including at least two lads on the go Janis: yeah that's braggable, got me drunk and didn't even try to fuck me 😒 Jimmy: It ain't braggable that you're a pisshead in love with my co-worker but here we are Janis: 😱 say how you really feel Janis: and I am not drunk how dare you Jimmy: do the touch your nose bollocks on your way Jimmy: send me the vid Janis: 😂 Janis: see that up on the 'gram be fuming Janis: I'm a sophisticated lady Jimmy: like I said, just don't dress like one again Janis: Did I look that bad? Jimmy: You looked good, you can't not Jimmy: but I could tell you didn't want it Janis: Not really my style but neither are dates Jimmy: You had a shit time then? Janis: Nah Janis: it was just like hanging out Janis: I don't know why I thought otherwise, maybe a real one is dead awks like everyone bangs on Jimmy: it is if you ain't got nowt to chat on Jimmy: or you don't eat Janis: 🙄 I can imagine Janis: what a waste of money above all else like just lemme fuck you why are we pretending Jimmy: they got money for the #flex Jimmy: not an issue for you rich kids Jimmy: harder pretending that you don't wanna/ain't gonna fuck before the main course Janis: calling me a slag tho Janis: ruuuuuuuuuuuude Jimmy: collective you Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: Unless you were only a fake virgin Janis: now you calling me frigid Janis: yeah, what I always say Janis: like, alright love, 'course you are Jimmy: some lads are into that Jimmy: just wanna be the first instead of 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: what's sexier than total inexperience to mask your own lack of skillz Janis: not a drag Jimmy: it's why Mia's just lie there technique is so popular Jimmy: god bless Janis: Want me to start doing than from now on? Janis: okay Jimmy: Piss off do I Jimmy: I never said she's my type Jimmy: have said the opposite Janis: well I don't know what that means sexually Janis: you want me to tell you you look like alex turner in his prime or?? Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: firstly I look better than him and secondly bollocks Jimmy: You know what I like Janis: 😂 Janis: Okay okay Janis: true and 🤞 true Jimmy: truest that you need to have a word with yourself if you don't reckon I love fucking you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I miss you too, yeah Jimmy: more than Pete does anyway Janis: I don't think that was really a question Janis: but good to know I ain't walking all this way for nothing Jimmy: don't ever ask him Jimmy: stay with me Janis: I'm not going to, I don't like him Janis: I like you Jimmy: alright Janis: alright alright or shut up alright? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I don't want you to shut up Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: Sorry I left Jimmy: Sorry my dad's a fucking bellend Janis: Yeah same but not on my behalf Janis: no worries seriously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Do you need anything, just passing a shop so be quick Jimmy: like what? Janis: I dunno Janis: you might have some fancy nighttime routines I'm not aware of Janis: or want some more 🚬s Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you've stayed at mine loads, how you reckon you don't know what I'm up to? Jimmy: that's a good shout though fuck knows where I've walked to but been 🚬 all the way Jimmy: #goals like Janis: I'm just trying to be a good hostess 'scuse you Janis: I mean you do look hot doing it so Janis: cancer smancer gotta die somehow kid Jimmy: saves my dad a job Jimmy: & yeah I get it rich girl, your house is fancy, pick me up a ballgown or whatever Janis: Not if he wants to keep his free childcare, think on, like Janis: It ain't it's just big Janis: not fitting us all in a 2 up 2 down, think it thru Ma and Da Jimmy: You gonna introduce me? Janis: If you wanna Jimmy: not what I most wanna do but a bit rude if I just walk in like a horny mute Jimmy: only one of us is pulling that off babe Janis: SHUT UP 😫 Janis: you don't have to they won't care but if we see them Janis: hopefully I won't die of embarrassment Jimmy: calm down, Jenna Jimmy: don't wanna lose your voice Janis: you mean you don't want me to, boy Jimmy: maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: #blatant Janis: we can be as loud as we like, the only other person downstairs is my brother Diego and he's deaf so Janis: thanks kid, unexpected solid there Jimmy: for real or like how your hippie brother wished he was blind the other day Janis: IOU so much more than petrol money 😳 Jimmy: I fucked myself over mentioning that though Jimmy: can't stop thinking 'bout it now Janis: It was Janis: good Janis: really fucking good Jimmy: don't say owt more I'm trying to walk Janis: 😶 Janis: was though Jimmy: yeah I know Jimmy: & I wanted you so bad before I thought 'bout it Jimmy: I just did Janis: I know Janis: It's hard doing anything with you that isn't fucking Janis: you're just very distracting at all times Jimmy: You are Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: hate you too Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: got the 🚬s Janis: if I couldn't and they'd carded me that woulda been a fail Janis: #flex Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: so proud babe Janis: it's the legs Jimmy: & 'cause you ain't wearing that dress Jimmy: but tah for the reminder I'll try & breathe Janis: floral dresses defs a way to look 6 or 86 Janis: not a mood and the 20 year old with bum fluff serving me agrees Jimmy: he better not be agreeing too hard Jimmy: I'll give him a smack Jimmy was timed out 15 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis: 😂 you're good at that bit Janis: the protective boyfriend Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: It's okay, very #goals of you 😍 Jimmy: just 'cause I let you win one play fight Jimmy: don't mean I ain't hard, alright Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: so impressive, babe Jimmy: now it just sounds like you want me to fight him Jimmy: get your 📷 out Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm that bitch Janis: #proveyourself Jimmy: stay there then Jimmy: I'll find my way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: nah #goals Jimmy: you already outed yourself, mate Jimmy: I know you want it Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: not my #goals Janis: theirs Janis: any sign that you care's'a huge pantydropper, obvs Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Poor Kev Jimmy: first name terms, yeah? Jimmy: back on your bollocks, Jasmine Janis: Only go for boys with nametags Janis: that's my secret Janis: would help you loads Jimmy: nowt secret 'bout it, love Janis: Calling me blatant? Janis: This was your plan, boy Jimmy: driving me to it, girl Janis: so 😠 yeah Jimmy: so 💪 Jimmy: I'll just spark him out & we'll go Janis: Nerd Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: & you want me Janis: Maybe Janis: but you're coming for Kev Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm coming for you, baby Jimmy: show him you're #mine Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: if I don't get lost Jimmy: nowt #goals 'bout me just wandering Janis: You're adorable Jimmy: piss off Janis: You are though Janis: how Janis: very rude of you Jimmy: rude of you to keep on when I'm trying to be tough Jimmy: & ain't even gonna mention that it's a bit cold Janis: Stop Janis: Ruining my rep here as well Jimmy: you alright? 'cause you ain't having my jacket, mate Jimmy: I don't like you that much Janis: Don't want it anyway Janis: back to looking 🔥 Janis: tah very much Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: fucking brutal you Janis: can't have it both ways mate Jimmy: can I have you not shitting on my #aesthetic Janis: 😂 Janis: You must do something right Janis: not in #scruffy camp with poor Pete and the white girl w dreads Jimmy: chat to me 'bout that then Jimmy: you love calling me pretty Janis: Shh Jimmy: go on, I could be close to death here Janis: only if Kev fucks you up Janis: you really want the last thing I say to you to be you're pretty Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: what do you want your last words to me to be then? Janis: Not gonna spoil it Janis: wait and see Jimmy: I get it, you wanna call me a dickhead one last time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You know you'd rather Jimmy: I'd rather you just kiss me Jimmy: if I'm gonna go anyway Janis: That's what I'll do then Janis: such a hardship for me, obvs but you know Janis: just that generous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: Tell me that 'fore you go, alright Jimmy: I'll force the words out for you, darling Janis: Tryna walk here Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where are you? 'cause I don't wanna walk anymore Jimmy: not for a bit Janis: Stay put and put your location on Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't fuck it up Jimmy: one job, you know Janis: Please Janis: these are my ends, like it or not Jimmy: tell it to that bus driver you pissed off with your bollocks, babe Janis: 😒 Janis: still your fault Jimmy: yours Jimmy: unless you wake up looking different, always is Janis: convenient Janis: but not that mad about it Jimmy: I'm mad 'bout how slow you are Jimmy: what kind of athlete Janis: If you shut up I'll get there faster Janis: chatterbox Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #shaded Janis: you know I like it when you're loud too Jimmy: you shoulda stayed for the 🥊 Jimmy: love shouting me Janis: Let your Da fully appreciate without my #distracting presence Jimmy: I'm sure he'll say tah when he next sees you Janis: 😏 Janis: I see you though, for now Jimmy: Can't see you, just some random Jimmy: dunno who she could be Janis: oh yeah? Janis: gonna go with her then or what Jimmy: might do Jimmy: she's got nice hair Jimmy: & legs Janis: she looking your way? Janis: [is, duh] Jimmy: good eyes too I reckon Janis: Sounds like you're well in Jimmy: sorry mate means you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Gutted Janis: gonna leave for you start making a scene then Jimmy: It's been #real Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause they gotta save this night] Janis: What was that for? Jimmy: job well done? Jimmy: you got here Janis: your faith in me was so encouraging, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: [kisses her again so he don't say something embarrassing about how much faith he has cos no boy] Janis: You're cute, boy Janis: come back to mine Jimmy: I will just Jimmy: gimme a Janis: [Kisses him] Janis: that? Jimmy: & a sec Jimmy: so I can Jimmy: [kisses her again too 'cause distract him from how much a prick his dad is thank you babe] Janis: We don't have to go there straight away Janis: whatever you want, within the confines of this shithole, obvs Jimmy: you know I want you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: [amps it up no chill ever lads] Jimmy: [Takes off his coat & puts it on the floor so they can lie on it & pulls her down onto it for more kisses 'cause same] Janis: Such a romantic, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Need a car Janis: making dogging low-rent us and that's saying something Jimmy: I'll nick one for us Jimmy: give you those life of crime goals Janis: 😍 damn daddy Janis: I'm driving though, deal with it Jimmy: I'll take my dad's then Jimmy: no 💔 if you crash it Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I can drive bitch Jimmy: only got your word for that, Janet Jimmy: & ain't gonna be your bitch if you can Janis: 👎 boo Janis: hit up all the other 15 y/os that'll blow me for lifts if you gonna be like that Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up] Jimmy: what if that's how I'm gonna be? Jimmy: what you gonna do? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lemme think Jimmy: [more kisses while she's thinking] Janis: You drive a hard bargain Janis: alright, we can still be mates Jimmy: yeah very hard me Jimmy: told you Janis: Prove it Jimmy: [pins her down in a sexy way for a hot make out sesh] Janis: I really missed you Janis: it wasn't even that long but everything is shit and boring when you ain't around Jimmy: I'd say prove it, but I reckon you have Janis: [Proves it some more, get up and go lads] Jimmy: I Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: we need to go Jimmy: or I'm just gonna fuck you here Janis: as much as I don't care Janis: all your Da needs is actual fuel to hate me more so Janis: let's avoid getting arrested tonight, like Jimmy: [helps her up and turns it into a hug 'cause he needs one not sorry] Janis: [Hugs back properly and for ages 'cos knows it] Janis: Come on then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [morning after but later when he's at work not early af when he left] Jimmy: Morning, Jillian Jimmy: how's it treating you? Janis: Impressed you managed to walk of shame without getting lost Janis: lowkey bit miffed you hmu, thought I'd finally got rid of ya when you weren't here, like but Janis: how 'bout you regardless Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll go then Jimmy: reckoned you'd wanna know it's dickhead day here at the CG so you could get yourself down Jimmy: had 'em all in, my dad included Janis: Serious Janis: how desperate and shaming, sir Janis: other places to get an overpriced espresso Jimmy: but nowhere you can get away with treating your server like shit & still get to finish Janis: 😒 Janis: so hard up for entertainment he had to have 'round two, like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: so desperate for proof of life after one night gone he can't accept a fuck you text like a normal person at that time of the morning Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Suddenly arsed, okay Jimmy: I can go anywhere I want as long as I end up under his roof Jimmy: on me own Janis: 👍 Assuming he wanted to go meet his newest then Janis: all fun Jimmy: tah for reminding me Jimmy: family dinner thursday Jimmy: come looking like the #badinfluence you are babe Janis: Yeah? Janis: knew he loved me 😏 Jimmy: I'm inviting you 'cause I do Jimmy: & you owe me that Janis: so you want me to piss your Dad off more? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & let his girlfriend now what she's getting into Jimmy: know* Jimmy: if she's gonna stick around for more than a night Jimmy: Me & Cass will do our bit, not all on you Janis: Alright Janis: Solid plan Janis: I'm in Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's cooking, tell your dad & maybe we can get that shit cancelled before it happens Janis: 😂 Janis: no one wants to make it that much of a family affair Janis: be more horrified and can't really blame him Jimmy: 💔 all around Janis: deffo the mood he's going for Jimmy: I know you're not into it but if you could seduce this bird it'd save me a job Janis: what's she look like Janis: you know yet Jimmy: nah Jimmy: could try & guess based on the last but he really ain't fussy Jimmy: or as committed to a #type as you reckon I am Janis: She ain't got at least 5 piercings and you out Janis: take one for the team Jimmy: tah Janis: be #troubling if she was your type Janis: next step in a midlife crisis surely, younger woman Jimmy: easier for me to fake date her & 💔 him though Janis: Beats the cliche of him stealing your girlfriend Janis: very porn plot this Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 🤞 MILF Jimmy: as long as she ain't got any kids Jimmy: the last one did & she was always trying to organise playdates Janis: Eurgh Janis: own siblings are bad enough Jimmy: didn't have a hot teenage daughter or nowt Jimmy: step it up, Valerie Janis: Un🍀 Jimmy: what you doing with your day? Janis: Gotta start prep now, obvs Janis: whole military operation you know Janis: give a bitch 3-5 working days notice next time Jimmy: you've got a bit Jimmy: not like its tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 yeah Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: NO JIMMY Janis: gonna look such a state now OMG Jimmy: just don't borrow owt from your sister & you won't have anything to bond with our honored guest over Jimmy: job done Janis: 🙄 she probably has a moodboard waiting for the day, like Jimmy: #sisterbonding Jimmy: how goals Janis: piss off Janis: defs don't owe you that much Jimmy: I'm gonna owe you loads of compensation for the cancer 'cause of all the 🚬 we gotta do Jimmy: my dad hates when I leave the table for it Jimmy: #deathwishinalltheways Janis: 😂 Janis: how many ways can you show him up Janis: challenge forreal Jimmy: wait 'til I start touching you up under the table, mate Jimmy: he's gonna be livid Janis: 😳 Janis: boy Jimmy: you turning down the challenge already? Janis: 'Course not Janis: #dedicated Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: why I like you Janis: Who else gonna come family dinner and fuck shit up, like Janis: duh Jimmy: If I told them I'll do more than play footsie with 'em probably a fair few lasses but Janis: shut up Janis: nuuh Jimmy: you shut up Jimmy: I want you to do it Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever Jimmy: whatever yourself, dickhead Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you love yourself so much, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: & that's what you like 'bout me Janis: Sure Janis: no convincing you otherwise so ain't wasting my breath Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lucky you ain't here Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💔 gutted I ain't 😍😍😍 Janis: Pervert Jimmy: won't tell you how adorable you look when you sleep then 😘 Janis: Good Janis: I ain't adorable don't be trying to spread that about Janis: cheek Jimmy: 👼 you Janis: Actually such a wind-up merchant Janis: ugh Jimmy: you love it, Jennifer Janis: Hmm clearly Janis: or I'm a sucker for the pain Jimmy: I get it, you're hurting being away from me Janis: yeah, every minute feels like an hour, babe Janis: 'specially the more you chat on Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It really aches, yeah Jimmy: you just Jimmy: need me Janis: don't make me actually miss you Janis: gotta get things done today, like Janis: can't stay in bed waiting and dreaming 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: rich girl fantasy Jimmy: it ain't my top one but it's the easiest for you to get done Jimmy: no effort like Janis: Tick it off my to-do list Janis: hmu with the rest Jimmy: I can't if I ain't allowed to miss you Janis: not on the clock, has your manager put a ban on Janis: Pete so highkey Janis: bless Jimmy: 😂 Janis: would love to run the place into the ground to piss off my sister but not gonna fuck w ur funds like that Janis: bit rude Jimmy: fuck it school starts soon Jimmy: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that much of a dickhead day yeah Janis: poor boy Jimmy: blasting classic FM Jimmy: full orchestra mood Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 😎 Janis: So cute how you dellude yourself Janis: 💕 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're meant to be making me feel not shit Jimmy: one job, like Janis: 😘 love you Jimmy: only works if you 😗 me in person Janis: you want me to come in later Jimmy: do you wanna? Jimmy: shit to do, yeah Janis: Not THAT much shit Janis: girl gotta eat Jimmy: in it for the smoothies Jimmy: & bacon sarnies Janis: what else? 🤷 Jimmy: pay up then, rich girl Janis: That's how it is now, yeah? Janis: gonna hit me with a massive tab to pay Jimmy: it's out of control Jimmy: sort it out, mate Jimmy: 👌 Janis: thought you was adding it to my sister's Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: I will from now on Jimmy: least I know I'll get it Janis: 😱 Janis: invite her to dinner if she's so reliable Jimmy: the IT couple would like her too much Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: not the plan Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: your grasp on compliments needs work Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what do you wanna hear? Janis: nothing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't matter Janis: forget about it Jimmy: don't be faking there's nowt wrong now Jimmy: what Janis: Seriously, it's nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when everyone chats how nice she is Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: I was saying she's #basic & so are they Janis: yeah Janis: it's fine then Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: bring some enthusiasm with you into it Janis: 😒 Janis: don't push it Jimmy: don't chat that it's fine if it ain't Janis: oh my god Janis: boy Jimmy: you're testing me, girl Janis: shut up Janis: haven't you got a shitty customer to go deal with or something Jimmy: yeah but your bollocks takes priority Janis: feel so special Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: & stop Janis: alright Janis: later then yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: am i coming at lunch or nah Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: so helpful Janis: yeah whatever Janis: gym is close anyway and that's where I'm headed next so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bring some enthusiasm with you Jimmy: saving it for when you show up Jimmy: gotta give the fans what they want Janis: 'course Janis: that's what really counts Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll have my 😍😍 fixed & ready like Jimmy: too much enthusiasm for the CG Janis: That's just your customer service style Janis: I be knowing Jimmy: ask your sister Jimmy: it ain't Janis: 💔 -her Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: such a heartbreaker boy Jimmy: hit my ex up Jimmy: she'll chat on it for ages Janis: well you had to do something pretty bad for her to steal your man Janis: figured Jimmy: 'course Janis: 💀 Jimmy: did you just die? Jimmy: no warning, tah Janis: the conversation did Janis: but good to know I gotta give you my notice 'fore I kms Janis: wasn't clear in the deal Jimmy: write me a letter Jimmy: it'll look great on the 'gram Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna fully blame you and ruin your life from beyond the grave Jimmy: figured Jimmy: already said ages ago what a nightmare you are Janis: I remember Janis: twat Jimmy: #inspo for your note then Janis: what you being annoying for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: you Janis: No I ain't Jimmy: actually piss off then Janis: Fuck you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you won't Janis: Very mature Jimmy: soz I didn't realise I'd added my dad to the chat Jimmy: hang on Janis: 😑 Janis: There's no point even trying right now is there Jimmy: do you even wanna try making that sound like a question Janis: What have I done Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: it's all me Jimmy: we established that Janis: 🙄 Janis: Yeah go on then Janis: if it makes you feel better Janis: go for your life Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah for the permission Janis: So welcome Jimmy: felt it Janis: What? Jimmy: so welcoming you Janis: Yeah fuck me for inviting you 'round Janis: what a nightmare Jimmy: leave it out Janis: whatever Janis: not gonna force you to be grateful Janis: not what it was Jimmy: why say it then? Jimmy: sounds like that is what you want, rich girl Janis: no Janis: it ain't Janis: I want you to stop being like this but I ain't gonna beg Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: could've been hot but alright Janis: it ain't funny Janis: shut up Jimmy: I told you to piss off Jimmy: how many times do I have to? Janis: I can do what I want Janis: mute me if you're so arsed Jimmy: you're so good at that yourself Jimmy: no need Janis: Ha Janis: good one Jimmy: not just a #prettyface Jimmy: why I kill in tips Janis: Obviously Janis: not your coffee Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: book your slot for comedy open mic, babe Janis: Too much like work Janis: with this bank account? Janis: fuck off Jimmy: must've got you confused with my other fake girlfriend again Jimmy: soz Janis: maybe one day you'll get a real one and she'll help you keep track Jimmy: if I get a real one there's no room for fake Jimmy: job done Janis: Rooting for you Jimmy: again, no need Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Do it then Jimmy: what are you trying to challenge me for? Jimmy: if I wanted one we wouldn't be here Janis: Nah Jimmy: what? Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: & I didn't understand it Jimmy: so Janis: Call it a language barrier Jimmy: just tell me what you're going on about Janis: Why would I want to Janis: more to take the piss outta me for, yeah, no tah Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Exactly Jimmy: if you can say something once & act like you stand by it you can say it again so I get it Janis: Why don't you want a girlfriend then Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: got enough going on Janis: Okay Jimmy: you wanna try that again? Jimmy: weren't convinced Janis: Shut up Janis: how is it any less time consuming fake dating then Jimmy: it ain't Jimmy: but we've got a deal Janis: It can be done Jimmy: is that what you want? Janis: I probably won't come out of it looking the best but I'll make it work Jimmy: not what I asked, was it Janis: Think what you want about me but I'm not trying to make your life harder Janis: let's get that straight Jimmy: what the fuck are you thinking if you reckon that's what I'm saying Jimmy: never did Janis: Are you serious, you literally just did Janis: you've got enough on, it's time-consuming Janis: don't act like I've pulled it out my arse Jimmy: nah you've just twisted it on the exit out Jimmy: I ain't got time to go looking for a girlfriend is what I said Janis: You would if you weren't doing this Jimmy: maybe but I am doing it Jimmy: I told you, we've got a deal Jimmy: I'm not just fucking off out of it Janis: Well I said you could Janis: you can't choose to keep doing it and make it my fault when I've given you an out Jimmy: well I don't want to Jimmy: & nowts your fault so shut up Janis: that ain't how it feels Jimmy: how's it feel then? Janis: like you're taking every opportunity to remind me of how much of a fucking hardship it is and how badly you don't wanna do it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know that ain't how it is Janis: That's how you're being Janis: how it seems Janis: which is pretty fucking shitty considering Jimmy: considering what? Jimmy: you let me in your big, fancy house or have we moved on to summat else now? Janis: Don't Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: don't what, tell you how you made it sound? Jimmy: like you did some huge fucking favor to me Janis: That's not what I meant Janis: but by that point you'd had several digs at me already Janis: so yeah, maybe it came out a bit harsh, if I recall you were saying just how welcoming I was and that was just the last of Jimmy: 'cause you were having a massive strop from the sec I mentioned your sister Jimmy: instead of just taking the compliment Janis: That's no excuse to say some of the shit you said is it Jimmy: I don't have any excuses Jimmy: just Janis: Fine Jimmy: don't say it's fine when it isn't Jimmy: I fucked it up, alright Jimmy: just like he wants me to Janis: I know you're having a shit time of it with your Dad, that's what I'm saying, I'm not trying to 'cause more problems Janis: if it stops being worth it on your end you don't have to keep doing it, it's not that important, my rep was for shit anyway so Jimmy: don't go Jimmy: that's important to me Janis: is it Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: so I need you, okay Janis: but you said Janis: no Janis: okay Jimmy: what did I say? Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you can Janis: I don't even know how you said it now or when in this convo and I don't want to reread but Janis: I was saying it was shitty to say all the things you did considering you fucked me and are still fucking me, like Janis: don't have to be my best mate but like Janis: can you not Janis: okay Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: for real Jimmy: I'm not just saying it Jimmy: & I shouldn't have said what I did Jimmy: I get it if you don't like me anymore Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I said some things, even if I didn't mean it that's still how it came out so Janis: sorry too and let's just Janis: move on yeah Jimmy: maybe I am Jimmy: stupid Janis: No you're not Janis: being it but we all do and it's excusable given, alright Jimmy: I really wanna be with you Jimmy: I should've just skipped & stayed Jimmy: I didn't reckon on him actually showing up Janis: I wasn't expecting that either Janis: I mean, devil's advocate and don't shoot me, guess it shows he cares on some level Janis: even if it's for the wrong, selfish reasons, idk Janis: trying to make him seem not like a total twat is hard Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: just try and forget what a total twat I am Janis: You're not though Janis: unfortunate, be easier to ignore with the rest then but you aren't Jimmy: are you at the gym? Jimmy: I'm gonna leave Janis: I didn't get there in the end Janis: do you want to come back here or Janis: I wasn't showing off, or trying to Janis: that ain't me, I know I'm rich and whatever but Jimmy: let me come back Jimmy: 'cause I know that Jimmy: I was just being a dickhead after he was to me Janis: I get it Janis: I should've been nicer Janis: I'm not good at all this Jimmy: nah you are Jimmy: don't be a doormat to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: If I'd been less of a dickhead to begin with we might not have got to this point though but Jimmy: you've always been a dickhead Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: I like you Janis: I like you too Janis: it Janis: it's not just a deal to me okay Jimmy: don't just say that to make me feel better Janis: I ain't Janis: I didn't think you'd wanna hear it so literal opposite of what I was reckoning but Jimmy: you're Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: too good for me & this bollocks probably Janis: Nah Janis: anyway, I want to too Janis: I'm not gonna just piss off, yeah Janis: sorry about it Jimmy: be my real girlfriend then Janis: what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: Yeah and it's a total 180 to like everything you just said so Janis: hold on, like Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: are YOU saying what you think I wanna hear now Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying what I wanna say Jimmy: don't make me feel weird about it Janis: sorry Janis: just checking Janis: okay then Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 'cause I'm coming to your house right now so be sure, tah Jimmy: hung up my apron & everything Janis: 💔 for the apron moment Janis: yeah, I'm sure Jimmy: I can keep it on if you're that into it Jimmy: take me a sec to go back & grab it & I'll get some weird looks but Janis: 😏 you're ridiculous Jimmy: you got me now so get used to the #craic Janis: God you're so cute, shut up Jimmy: will you come with me later to make sure everyone's alright at mine? your true love 🐶 included? Janis: Yeah Janis: 'course I will Jimmy: before my dad gets back, I'm not an animal Jimmy: you don't have to deal with that Janis: Don't worry, if it gives all of you an easier life, I'm happy to avoid him Jimmy: if only Jimmy: if it ain't you it's owt else Janis: 😕 yeah Janis: I'll climb up the drainpipe when I miss you, it's fine 💪 Jimmy: you're so hot Jimmy: can't even remember what I was feeling like before Jimmy: just 😍 now Janis: You know I like sleeping with you Janis: I mean actual sleeping Jimmy: you should stop growing though Jimmy: it's really gonna fuck us over Janis: Yeah, imagine it's easier with Bobs Jimmy: coffee stunts your growth, babe Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: if you really wanna make life easiier Janis: think of my basketball career Janis: someone should've warned Gracie, no catching up now love Jimmy: believe me i'm 💔 Jimmy: the potential those legs coulda had Jimmy: yours not hers Janis: 😂 speedy recovery like for the love of God don't start up again bitch Jimmy: you know Jimmy: don't want you dumping me when we only just got together for real Janis: You wish Janis: no chance, mate Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: scared enough tah Jimmy: always chatting 'bout how much you're gonna fuck me up Janis: 1. you love it Janis: 2. how nice am I to you actually, fuck the chat Jimmy: 1. your house takes ages to get to, owt could happen Jimmy: 2. see #1 Janis: Have a little faith, boy Jimmy: I told you, Jesus don't live with us, girl Jimmy: much as I'd love to make him pay his share Janis: 😏 he died for YOUR sins Janis: yours specifically Jimmy: I ain't done nowt wrong a day in my life Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Come here and start then Janis: Loser Jimmy: VERY rude Jimmy: 1. 🥇 Jimmy: 2. I want you so bad right now don't say shit like that Janis: 1. team Janis: 2. try and stop me now I've got every right to want you as much as I do Jimmy: 3. alright but I reckon this is the same bus driver so if you keep turning me on he's gonna think I love him Janis: 4. already tryna get an old man involved Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't kink shame me Jimmy: not very goals Janis: fine bring with but I ain't touching him Jimmy: I'm pretty sure he just likes to watch Jimmy: definitely remembers me Janis: Gonna have to be a solo show for now Janis: don't disappoint Jimmy: don't tempt me Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: being back here ain't helping Janis: how and why does that feel like ages ago Janis: i wanted you so badly Jimmy: 'cause I've fucked you so many times since then Jimmy: keep wanting me, alright Janis: 🤤 Janis: done Janis: you're Janis: i don't know but whatever you are you're a lot of it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I don't want to get arrested for being a horny mute Jimmy: especially when I fuck up the last bit Janis: He likes it, he's not gonna call Garda Jimmy: not gonna like it when I say your name though Janis: sure he would, he just likes to watch Janis: remembers me too, like Jimmy: might think I'm cheating Jimmy: girl of so many names you Janis: brought that on yourself, boy Janis: surprised you haven't said the wrong one during Jimmy: It ain't my fault I can't read Janis: can't stop shaming you can i Janis: how rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I get it though, trying to turn me from horny to heartbroken Jimmy: tah babe Janis: Poor baby Janis: switch it up on you and make you feel all better when you get here Jimmy: I'm so mad at you for being able to touch yourself if you want Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: i mean you could but you're 🐔 Jimmy: think carefully before you lay that challenge down Jimmy: you know I'll do it Janis: I know I want you to do it but Janis: are you up for the REAL challenge of not getting caught Jimmy: only but now is how bad do you want me to Jimmy: 'cause of course I am Jimmy: taught me everything I need to know, didn't you? Are YOU doubting your techniques? Janis: 'Course I'm not, I told you, I never got caught Janis: I want you to do it Janis: this bad [nude] Jimmy: alright, you have to do it too though & try to be caught Jimmy: that's your challenge Janis: Jesus Janis: Okay Jimmy: how are we gonna prove this? Janis: Record it? Jimmy: I already can't think properly Jimmy: no shit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Step in the right direction Janis: you don't need to think at all, just feel Jimmy: it's your fault, sending me that pic Jimmy: now I'm just Jimmy: feeling a lot Janis: You're welcome for the headstart I gave you Janis: I had to put my clothes back on and find a place I could get caught Jimmy: feeling left out? like it's too much of a challenge? Jimmy: Let me help you Jimmy: [sends own pics of how turned on he is] Janis: Fuck Janis: see, you have to touch yourself Janis: that is too good to waste Jimmy: if anyone does catch me I'll tell them it's a #medicalemergency Jimmy: but they won't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll cosign it babe Janis: why we have to fuck so much, yeah? Jimmy: feel free to use the excuse when you get rumbled Jimmy: female hysteria, yeah Janis: Not aftr that rant from my Ma as pillowtalk Jimmy: where are you anyway? Janis: Outside Janis: Nice day and it reminds me of the times we've nearly Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I should not have asked Jimmy: that's Janis: You'll see when you watch my video won't you Janis: do my best with the angles Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: fuck me outside when we won't get caught, alright Janis: You know you're so talented Janis: gonna be #art Janis: Yes, I want that Jimmy: You're #art Jimmy: tonight then 🤞 Janis: Definitely Janis: at yours or mine Jimmy: less people to catch us at mine Jimmy: but 'cause you're in your garden now I wanna do it there Janis: We can do it right here Janis: x marks the spot Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: real challenge is me doing you better than you can Janis: That's no challenge come on Jimmy: bit rude to yourself that Jimmy: I know you're good, babe Janis: You're better Janis: so much better Jimmy: I can't take that compliment right now Jimmy: I've got a challenge not to fail Jimmy: can't if I die Janis: Well if I get caught I might get murdered so Janis: see you in Hell baby Jimmy: 👍 Janis: How hard are you biting your lip right now? Jimmy: you'll see if I've got my angles Jimmy: but fuck Jimmy: I can really feel it Janis: it hurts good right? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it'll feel even better when you kiss me later Janis: I'll be so gentle Janis: 'til I can't Jimmy: never gonna be mad 'bout you losing control Janis: Good because Janis: This feels incredible Jimmy: I wanna know exactly how it feels Jimmy: but I don't wanna put you off Janis: I'm doing this for you, Jimmy Janis: I want to tell you Jimmy: yeah but typing & filming Jimmy: you need some control for that Jimmy: you're meant to lose it all Janis: I'm using talk and type already Janis: One step ahead Jimmy: I'm mad that I have to be sneaky & you don't Jimmy: I want Janis: What do you want? Jimmy: I wanna just Jimmy: let go too Janis: You can Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: so tell me what it's like Janis: It's like Janis: my hearts already beating fast because of how turned on I am but then it's going insane because I know anyone could see me, hear me, right now Janis: I feel like I could pass out Jimmy: I reckon you could hear mine on this recording 'cause I'm making no sound Jimmy: trying not to breathe too loud even Janis: You're so good Janis: You can totally lose control when you get here Janis: and tonight Jimmy: I have to with you Jimmy: nowt else I can Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: you're Jimmy: gonna be the death of me Janis: I can't help it Janis: You're Janis: there's so much I want to do with you Jimmy: we can Jimmy: you're my girlfriend now you can just Janis: say that again Jimmy: what? Janis: say I'm your girlfriend again Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're my girlfriend, Janis Janis: you're gonna know when you said that when you see this Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: bit awkward if I don't Janis: Trust Janis: How did that nearly get me off Jimmy: I better not chat 'bout how long I wanted to ask you then Janis: Tell me Janis: You gotta talk in here so you keep 😶 Jimmy: it's been ages Jimmy: before you made us miss our stop, like Janis: You mean it Jimmy: you don't think so? Janis: I believe you Janis: I just Janis: I dunno how this happened Jimmy: at the party I just Jimmy: there was so much shit I wanted to say Jimmy: I thought I was just drunk but Janis: I remember Janis: I felt it as well Janis: you can tell me anything you want Jimmy: I got drunk hoping I would just tell you Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: & so I could be around you & not be a dickhead Janis: I love hanging out with you Janis: I just do Janis: it never felt fake Jimmy: yeah but I reckoned you were faking it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: I'm not Janis: I mean, I don't have friends for a reason Janis: I keep people away Janis: I wasn't used to any of it, so I didn't think I would like you or anything, that it'd be easy to fake and feel nothing butt Jimmy: I get it, the only reason I had friends back home is 'cause I'd always had that same group since I was well younger Jimmy: they wouldn't go away Jimmy: I tried Janis: Yeah Janis: exactly Janis: you have to be a real cunt to get them to go, it's not fun Jimmy: I was Jimmy: & still Jimmy: but I don't want you to go Jimmy: don't Janis: Clearly, I'm a better actor than you #humblebrag #sorry Janis: I won't Janis: where am I going Jimmy: hollywood maybe Janis: unless I accidentally post this vid and make it big Jimmy: you better not 'cause then I'd have to post mine as a one up Jimmy: twitter already can't handle me Janis: not for moral support nor nothing, just gotta upstage me Janis: take the clout of how many times I've said your name already and be happy 'cos I can't handle you either Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it's getting really hard to be subtle Janis: you aren't subtle, that's what I like about you Jimmy: you might, the rest of the passengers won't Jimmy: not if I touch myself how I really want Jimmy: they're all gonna notice then Janis: they've seen worse on the bus, like Janis: not like you aren't the literal most drop dead gorgeous boy around Janis: appreciate and enjoy, people Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really not helping me win here Jimmy: different challenges, remember? Janis: 😈 Janis: Losing can be fun Janis: I'm finding out Jimmy: You're not gonna lose Jimmy: someone's gonna catch you Jimmy: come on Janis: why does that make me hornier what the fuck Jimmy: You want it Jimmy: baby come on Jimmy: you can do it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Jimmy: do it for me, yeah Janis: Yes Janis: Holy Jimmy: cum Jimmy: we can together Janis: I want you to cum on my face tonight, will you, please Janis: that's what I'm thinking about, and how much of a mess you're gonna be when you get here Jimmy: like I said, you're my girlfriend now Jimmy: we can do anything Janis: that's tipped me over the edge Jimmy: it's alright Janis: Oh Jesus who just pulled up Jimmy: you're winning, girl Janis: I don't think I can move Janis: this is Jimmy: so stay Janis: Okay Janis: Shit Jimmy: who is it? Janis: My Dad Janis: my brother is with him, Pablo Jimmy: at least it's not Grace Jimmy: then you'd have to move Jimmy: can't give her a captive audience Janis: More terrifying caught than them noticing me right now Janis: *thought whoops Jimmy: what do you look like? Jimmy: help me picture it Janis: Okay, so, I'm laying on the grass with my knees up, and I just have a baggy t-shirt on and I had my knickers around my ankles but I quickly took them all the way off when I heard them so now I'm just holding them in my right hand and they're soaked, I must be so pink and embarrassed, I'm literally out of breath, it's so obvious Jimmy: oh Jimmy: let me know if they decide to stop and say hi then Janis: They better not, I'm holding it back, but I really need to cum again Janis: I know I can't be quiet Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I believe in you Janis: Jimmy tell me what to do Janis: this hurts, I don't know if they're staying or going or what Jimmy: don't wait for 'em to stop pissing 'bout Jimmy: do what you gotta do Jimmy: make yourself quiet this time, you already won Janis: Yeah I did Janis: you're Janis: actually the best boyfriend Jimmy: it's cause you're my #muse Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: never more than now Janis: So cute Jimmy: if I could I'd draw you exactly like this Jimmy: You're actually art, you know Janis: that's what 📸 are for Janis: but I cannot deal with all these compliments right now Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: 'cause you said I could tell you anything I want Jimmy: & you're like properly beautiful Janis: Baby Jimmy: I wanna know you & I don't wanna know anyone Jimmy: hate you a bit for it but Janis: Sorry Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: It's alright, I really like you too Jimmy: we can still be goals Janis: we are Janis: undeniably Janis: even the haters are obsessed Jimmy: did you check your bushes for Mia before you started fucking yourself? Probably should've Janis: even the idea of accidentally getting her off by-proxy isn't enough to turn me off right now Janis: though I would've ideally been way more rough Jimmy: you need to keep going 'cause that's the horniest anyone has or could ever have been Janis: 😂 I told you it was bad Jimmy: I'm not far away Jimmy: we can sort this Janis: My hero Jimmy: gonna make you swoon dramatically, yeah Janis: Better be planning on making me do more than that, boy Jimmy: I don't need a plan Jimmy: I know what to do Janis: You really fucking do Jimmy: 1. is fucking you with my tongue for a bit 'cause as hello's go, top one Jimmy: if you can stay conscious I'll show you what 2. is Janis: 😩 You know how hard I'm gonna cum right, like, be prepared Janis: your tongue is Jimmy: I want it & you want it Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Why are you perfect Janis: and how Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm just a good boyfriend Jimmy: you'll see Janis: I believe it Janis: but I look forward to knowing Jimmy: leave your review under my pillow as part of the Dear John to soften the blow when you dump me Janis: Hush Jimmy: I don't have to now Jimmy: challenge is over Jimmy: video now or later? Janis: Hmm Janis: Later, I wanna watch it with you here, preferably when you're going down on me Janis: can have a review then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gives me time to edit so I look pretty how you like 😏 Jimmy: gonna give myself anime eyes or some shit 😂 Janis: You always look pretty, you just are, it's rude Janis: we've all jacked it to hentai, ain't too proud, try me but please don't 😂 Jimmy: this is why you're girlfriend material Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏

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