#i woke up at 4am (like for real to get to work) and i saw the mail and it was -10 outside making my room super cold and i was literally | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cjjohansson · 3 years

Text

NONE OF THIS WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN- PART 2

NATASHA ROMANOFF x BLACKWIDOW!READER

SUMMARY; After being apprehended by the Avengers and growing closer to Natasha, you let slip a secret she didn't know you knew. What happens when she realises you know the truth?

WARNINGS; mentions of abuse, swearing, previous suicide attempt, self harm, self doubt, mental health, smoking, drinking. sad natasha.

-PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION-

WORD COUNT; 4.5K

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

“So you’re telling me Yelena lied?”

Natasha didn’t expect this. She hadn't heard that name for a while now, not since destroying the Red Room herself with the help from her but since then nothing but radio silence. She thought Yelena was too busy still trying to free other widows but she knew from finding you and helping you Yelena hadn't finished her mission yet. But she was confused at how you knew Yelena and still had her in your mind even through the torture of the mind control and manipulating you had experienced. She continued staring at you, she didn't know what to do or say to you.

“So was she lying or not Natasha?” your voice came through her ears making her refocus. Your voice sounded desperate to know the truth, you needed to know the truth.

“I don't know what you’re talking about y/n.” Nat knew she should tell the truth, why was she still hiding this part of her past from you, no one knew about the help she had received when destroying the red room but no one knew her as well as you. Only knowing each other for this short amount of time you both opened up in different ways, it was freeing for Natasha to see someone who went through the same pain as she did and it helped guide her in helping you. Knowing if she could help you it’d help herself, she still saw all the red in her ledger but she was determined to wipe it in hopes she could help you wipe yours. She knew how you felt about the terrible things you did under control and for all the years up until now. She knew you shared the same pain. Apart from you only had Natasha. Slowly growing more open with the team but Natasha had you AND the team, the team she had grown so close with over the years to now finally call her family. But still the lie fell from her lips like it was a simple song.

“You’re lying, I know you're lying and I don't understand why it's me Natasha!” your voice only grew louder the more frustrated you got.

“I still remember holding Yelena the day you managed to escape the Red Room, I remember her crying and having to keep her quiet at night so no one saw her and thought she was weak! She constantly fell asleep holding the only memory she had left of you. But it all stopped months after I was taken from her in my sleep being transferred to a new location! I remember mouthing to her ‘it’ll be ok, we will find eachother again’ but after that nothing. I cannot even remember how long ago that was now Natasha, the years after being put through the mind control barely anything feels real. It was all confusing at the time trying to work out who this girl was that I kept seeing in my dreams and anytime I asked them it would only end in a beating. I knew not to ask anymore. But I remember being sent on this mission to kill you Natasha! I remember after I finally woke up again and saw your face that this person in front of me will help because my friend never gave up hope in you! It was like all I could see was Yelena and this random blue haired girl!”

“I'm not lying. I don't know who or what you're talking about!” another lie, slipping past her lips like it was nothing. Her lies only fueled you with more anger and frustration. Her face just stayed staring at you like she was trying to burn the lie into your head. You thought you knew her, but the person who was standing in front of you now lying was most definitely not the same person you shared a kiss with only moments ago.

“You said I could trust you Natasha. You might be able to get away with lying to the team but you're forgetting we were taught to lie by the same people. I can see straight through you.” your voice hit back at her laced with venom, she could see the disappointment in your eyes. You slowly turned to leave, you couldn't stand here with her right now knowing she was lying. How could she lie to you after everything she has helped you with over the last few months. You thought you loved her, you thought she might have loved you. You got off the bed and walked towards the door, you couldn't be here right now.

“Y/n/n wait.” she grabbed your wrist, stopping you from reaching the door, the same wrist that was littered in a big scar from the time you woke up. Her touch burnt, all she received from you was a flinch and you pulling your wrist from her touch.

“Don't you dare fucking touch me Natalia! Only moments ago I thought I finally had someone I could trust, someone who would keep me safe. But now all I see is the Black fucking Widow stood infront of me. So no Natalia, I won't wait. I won't stand here while you lie to me straight through your teeth. I wont stand here while you tell me you don't know who or what i’m talking about when I held that some person for months through her fucking tears because her so called sister left without her! I picked up the pieces you fucking ruined and now you expect me to stand here and think that you're telling me the truth and Yelena lied all those years? You expect me to think the voice in my head the day I woke up after I slit my wrist wide open telling me to trust you is fucking lying? Because if it was lying I wish, I fucking wish I let myself bleed out right then and there.” You knew you hit her then, like your voice was so loud filling the room like it was pounding in her ears. She knew you were right that it wasn’t her standing in front of you but was the Black Widow trying to manipulate her targets for information. Before she could even reply, the sound of the door slamming brought her back to focus. She quickly wiped her cheek as she felt the tears slowly falling from her eyes, not even remembering when she had started crying. Why did she lie? Why did she ruin the chances of you? Ruining your trust like it didn't take so much time to try and gain it? What had she done? Her and Yelena were ok now, they had worked on their differences and she had apologised for what had happened all the years ago but why wouldn't she tell you that? She knew Yelena held a grudge and hated her for leaving without her when they finally saw each other again but that wasn't the case now. Everything was different now and the main difference was Natasha finally realising that maybe she was falling for you and she had ruined all her chances in that becoming a reality. She needed to give you space, she knew that if she was to chase you now it would only make you more angry, she knew she needed to figure out how to talk to you and explain why she had done what she had done, until then she couldn't risk seeing you.

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

It had been a week since your argument with Natasha. Nothing made sense to you. It was driving you crazy at how she lied to you like you were nothing to her, like you weren't the person she had spent nights laughing with over stupid movies and also crying too when talking about each other's pasts. You had only slept once since then, a few hours after your argument, you had finally made your way back to your room knowing she would have left. You felt exhausted, only moments before your argument you had woken up from a terrible nightmare to then being in the comfort of her arms, to then kissing her to then shouting. It was like the only thing your body wanted to do was sleep right then and there. When you woke up hours later looking at your clock did you see the time read 4am, you had slept for 12 hours and by that point you understood why.

-flashback-

You steadily got out of your bed still feeling disgusted from being in your gym clothes from the day before everything happened, you made your way to the shower knowing you needed to rid all this grime off of yourself. You stood still in the shower letting the water fall off your shoulders like it was the first time you had ever seen water before it felt relaxing. Letting yourself get lost in the feeling of it but still your mind grew to the thought of what it would be like if Natasha was standing behind you right now washing your hair, touching you so delicately like you could break from any sudden movement. It felt too overwhelming. You crumbled to your knees like your body could no longer hold your weight anymore, your tears getting lost within the water that was over your face. It felt like you couldn't breathe, you were trapped in a place with nobody you could trust. Your mind grew dark so quickly, like the only way to get out of this place was to reopen that wrist but she still lingered in your mind, the thought of her finding you on this shower floor was breaking you even more. Why were you still feeling this sympathy for her after everything that had happened. You couldn't do this you needed to get rid of this feeling inside, it felt like your body was on fire, you felt scared and it was something you hadn't felt for a few months now, you had felt safe in her presence to now feeling as if you would leave this room and pass out, you needed it gone. You scrambled up from your feet in a hurry trying to find anything in your bathroom for a release, you remembered Natasha had made sure anything you could hurt yourself with had been removed from your pending room after your incident. There was nothing in here you could even butter bread with, it only made you feel more anger towards her. You stopped looking, taking a deep breath and staring at yourself in the mirror, wiping your hand over the mirror to see yourself clearer due to the fog clinging to it. And that's when you realised this would do. Bringing your clenched fist up to pound into the mirror sending shards flying everywhere, thank god for your enhancements you thought, that brought a light chuckle out of you. Frantically picking a big enough shard off the floor and moving yourself to sit on the toilet you knew this would help. Blood came seeping out of each cut, dripping down your leg and running onto the floor, you knew you'd done enough. The pain you felt inside had felt like it had disappeared more and more after every cut. You moved back into the shower preparing yourself for the sharp stings of pain that would soon follow, washing yourself quickly and exiting your bathroom, closing the door and leaving it shut. You knew you’d had to clean up later but for now you dragged yourself back to your bed in hopes to sleep more even though you knew you wouldn’t.

-end flashback-

You sat on the balcony of the compound still trying to work out how and why this had happened, you hadn't seen her for a week, you knew people had grown suspicious as to why you weren't joint at her hip and instead was constantly wrapped in a blanket on the balcony. The only person to come over and talk to you was Wanda, you would never say much. Only asking her if she could get you some cigarettes from the shop and some vodka, you knew if she said no you could always just ask FRIDAY to get some delivered, but she always came back hours later with the two things you'd asked her for, you always sent her the softest smile with a quiet thank you and she would leave after that. You wondered if she knew she was feeding into your new addictions and a way to stop the pain coming forward. You wondered if you were taking advantage of her but still you never wondered to ask.

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

You brought the cigarette up to your lips lighting it quickly, the feeling burning your throat and lungs as you slowly inhale the toxic chemicals it gives out, you had never smoked before this whole thing with Natasha, it wasn't until you had seen someone smoking in a movie did you grow curious of whole thing but now look, it was like you was a natural. Cigarette in one hand, half a bottle of vodka in the other, that is all you've done all week. You only moved from this spot to go to the toilet, not even bothering with food. It wasn't healthy and you knew that, you also knew this was a pathetic way of coping from everything with Natasha but it was helping.

A small cough is what brought you out of your train of thoughts, you looked up towards the door seeing her standing there. You hated how the first thing you thought was how beautiful she looked with the moonlight shining in just the right way. It made her eyes even more beautiful than they already were, you threw your head back to look at the trees across from you, no you needed to be angry at her.

“Smoking isn’t good for you, you know.” you wanted to chuckle at her but the hurt seeping through your veins was too much to deal with, gulping down the growing lump in your throat you continued smoking while staring. She sighed moving to sit opposite you so she constricted your view. You now sit facing her staring into her beautiful emerald orbs hoping the tears don't start to fall.

“I’m sorry” watching her slowly lowering her head after her words, her hands running through her hair, you're sure you heard a slight sniffle but you continued to stare, not caring to reply.

“Please say something, anything” she sounded so vulnerable, so small but you needed an explanation not just an apology. You go to speak but your tears are already threatening to fall so you turn your head to the side gulping down some vodka to ignore the pain.

“I'm not good at apologising, I'm even worse at talking about my past. I did lie. But I shouldn't have. I lied because I didn't want to remember what I did to her back then, the things I did in general back then.” you finally turned to look at her again slowly nodding for her to continue.

“Me and Yelena, we…errrr...we had a mission when we were young. Acting as sisters with two other agents as our parents. It was nice, you know, acting normal. I went from being in the Red Room, to a normal life. To then just be taken back away again. But it was different for her, I tried to not let them take her, she was too young, but like they said, I was younger…” she stayed staring down at her feet, you could tell it was a lot for her to be doing this, you were thankful she was opening up telling you the truth but you could see her discomfort seeping through. Holding out the bottle of vodka for her to take she brought her head up slowly looking at you and then to the bottle. She let out a light chuckle moving to accept the bottle from you and taking a drink. She gave it back, wiping the few tears that had escaped, you thought she was done talking until she sighed and carried on.

“I held her as they took us to the Red Room again, well me again, not her. It was terrifying. I just held her trying to shield her from seeing anything and everything, she just clung to me, sobbing. We were so young and I knew what was going to happen to her and there was nothing more I could do. I knew as soon as we were there she'd be taken from me and I'd never see her again. But I did see her, of course you know I did. It was quick stares walking past each other or it was me looking for her subtly when we would be eating, I couldn't protect her anymore. We could only protect ourselves. Any signs of love, affection or even friendship were frowned upon. How could I comfort her or look after her when everything I wanted to do I would have been punished for? That would have scared her even more. So I kept to myself.”

You didn't know how to react or what to do, the woman who was so continuously strong no matter what was thrown at her was sitting in front of you sobbing, it broke your heart and you knew it was breaking hers.

“Tasha, it's ok. Please.” you couldn't watch her cry anymore but you knew there was so much more she needed to say.

“No, y/n I...I need to do this.” you gave her a small nod, urging her to continue as you swallowed your own tears.

“She got out about 7 months ago too. Things happened and well me, her and our parents, Alexei and Melina. We took down Dreykov, we took down the main Red Room. I found out about all of these other widows that were placed all around the world being controlled. Yelena had this antidote that managed to break widows out of mind control, she found out the hard way what it was but we managed to save the widows that were at that Red Room. We only had one dose left, so with the help from Melina and Alexei they created more so they could go and save all the girls that were left. When you showed up I knew that clearly she hadn't finished the whole mission yet but I knew that 4 months wasn't a lot of time to do that hence why she hadn't reached you yet. I hadn't been in contact with any of them since then, I tried to get in touch but I never received anything back even up until two weeks ago.” she had stopped crying now, she looked more comfortable talking, it released this ache in your heart knowing she was becoming ok. You just wanted to hug her, so you did. You moved quickly, cigarettes and bottle of vodka long forgotten about and settled on her lap. She tensed slightly when you first sat down but soon enough you felt her relax, you just couldn't stop looking at her. Her eyes glassy from the tears she had shed, the light smell of the vodka she had drunk coming out from her lips as she breathed slowly. You just forgot everything that had happened in the past week. You cupped her face making sure all of her attention was on you, leaning in slowly to finally connect your lips in a gentle kiss. You finally moved away when you felt tears dripping down your cheeks, not evening knowing if they were yours or hers. Her hand came to settle on your cheek wiping away the tears that had fallen, the smallest of a smile on her face.

“I went to find them this week.” her words shocking you, making you shake your head confused. She laughed lightly at your reaction.

“Arguing with you just made me realise that I had no clue what was going on, I just left them with this information and took off, so I went to Melinas where I knew one of them would be and saw them there. That's why I had been gone all week.”

You felt relief when something rolled through you, although all this week you had been trying to avoid her, every time you moved from the balcony to the toilets you hoped she would pop out of nowhere. It wasn't until the third day you thought she was actively trying to avoid you too, it's what made you grow more angry. Thinking she just upped and left without a word but you now knew she didn't and suddenly all this anger and pain you felt towards her through the week was gone off your shoulders, but you now hated yourself for the way you reacted, the way you screamed and shouted at her for lying when now you understood why she done what she done out of fear of remembering. You hated yourself for the way you threw yourself into hurting yourself along with smoking and drinking. The guilt settled in your chest, it felt like it was too much to handle once again and you couldn't stop the tears from crashing down, a painful sob falling out of you as you suddenly felt like you could feel your thighs starting to tear and bleed again, like you could feel your throat burning from the bottles of vodka you had consumed and your lungs feeling as if they were suffocating from all the cigarettes you managed to smoke in such a short time.

Natasha reacted quickly, holding you tighter as you tucked yourself into the crook of her neck, a death grip on the back of her shirt as if, if you were to let go, this would all be a dream and she would disappear.

“Hey, hey, hey. Shhh it's ok, you're ok, I’m ok. We are ok. I'm here. I'm sorry for what happened and I'm sorry for leaving without explaining. I'm just so sorry.” her words were meant to be comforting but it only made you sob more.

“The things I did when you were gone Tasha, I overreacted. I'm sorry for everything I said that day of our argument. I understand everything now I do and I'm so grateful for you telling me and I'm so happy Yelena is safe. I'm so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry.” your voice muffled as you sobbed into her neck only made her grow nervous. No one had said anything about you all week when she called to check in on everyone.

“y/n, what happened?” She spoke so softly, one hand stroking small circles at the bottom of your back and the other hand moving to the side of your hair to move your head up so you were looking at her. It made the words you were trying to say even harder seeing how much her eyes showed her concern and worry.

“M...my...my bathroom, I...I...I ruined it, haven't been in my room since you left. I've stayed out here just smoking and drinking Tasha. I felt so angry and hurt and I hate what I did because now I understand why and what happened and I just overreacted so much and all I've done is cause myself pain and I know you don't want to know or even think that but I have. I hurt myself Tasha, I broke my mirror to do it, gosh thats so fucking stupid and it was only the one time and that doesn't make that ok I know that but it hurts so much. I feel like I'm suffocating, this guilt is too much. You've come back to explain and now here I sit crying and making it sound like everything I did this week was your fault but it wasn't. I'm sorry.” you rambled on continuing to sob, her eyes now just looked so sad, it broke you but you couldn't stop the ‘I’m sorrys’ from falling off your lips but she still stayed stroking your back, leaning your foreheads together telling you over and over that it was ok and she forgave you.

Your sobs finally slowly subsided, the exhaustion finally settling in after the week that had gone by so slowly, it consumed you. But Natasha never let up her continuous flow of ‘its oks’ and never failed to tell you ‘I’m here’ until you finally settled in silence. The silence felt comfortable between you, even though the past hour or maybe even longer held so much pain for the both of you. Your grib finally loosens on her t-shirt, moving to sit up straight to look at her.

“Я люблю вас” she blurts out in a hurry, you stayed staring at her in shock. You made no move to reply or even hug her or kiss her, it made her grow nervous. You felt her tense underneath you straight after it came flying out of her mouth.

“It's fine, you don’t need to...umpth” you cut her off short pulling her into an intense kiss, moving to straddle her lap, she moaned softly into you, making you melt. Even through the gentleness it still felt so rough and aggressive, neither of you pulling away until air became a problem.

“я люблю тебя больше моя Наталья”

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

The night seemed to flow so much more calmly after your late night confessions. You both moved to Natashas suite in hopes of getting some more privacy. Your night consisted of movies playing in the background as you both consumed each other with so much love and affection. You knew for sure that no one could ever love you or care for you the way this woman could. It overfilled your heart with so much joy, that even after these years where she was in pain and she blamed herself and the word for everything that had happened to her, that she could still love and feel so deeply. How she could still love you with so much passion in such a short amount of time, when you both grew up being told that it would make you vulnerable and that it was for children.

You knew the way you grew up was terrible and traumatic but in this moment, laying in Natashas arms sharing the smallest of kisses, giggles erupting from both of you, kind words whispered as if anything louder would ruin the moment, you were somewhat grateful that somehow no matter where this life was suppose to take you or what was meant to happen with you, you had never been so happy to have failed your mission against Natasha Romanoff, because right now who knows where you would be or what you was doing. You managed to be so lucky that this woman still accepted you with open arms and made herself vulnerable and somewhere fall in love with you that nothing from your past mattered in this moment. All that mattered was the love you were sharing and the love you can only hope to continue to share into the future.

Maybe ‘None Of This Was Meant To Happen’ but god was you so incredibly happy that it did.

#natasha romonova #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x reader #natalia alianovna romanova #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader

229 notes · View notes

some-kindofgnome · 4 years

Text

for auld lang syne

“And then I woke up in the hospital alone, and I saw the doctor alone and took a taxi home alone. I went to physical therapy alone and saw my counsellor alone. Whatever you thought, Katsuki, whatever you believed made me spend six months staring at my phone and thinking I’d ruined everything.”

It’s time for your agency’s extravagant New Years’ Eve party. But after a little sabbatical, there are some things you’re not ready to come back to.

characters: katsuki bakugou x f!reader

wc: 7.2k

warnings: smut (18+ please!) aged-up characters, pro hero!bakugou and pro hero!reader, mentions of injury, near-death experiences and gunshots, smoking, drinking, angst with a (filthy) happy ending, me being a whore for glamorous new years’ parties

notes: This fic has been dragging me across the coals since Christmas- I could not get it out of my head, despite how much work I knew it would be to get it out on time. Still, it feels supremely worth it. I have a metric ton of love to give to @hoe-doroki for beta-ing this mammoth on such short notice (I dumped it in her lap at 4am) because she really helped me whip it into shape. As always. 💖

Happy New Year, everyone.

(MASTERLIST)

“Won’t be long now.”

Anxiety bleeds into the already-nervous voice of your driver, muffled by the plexiglass divider that separates you. You’ve been sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the past four red lights, barely inching toward the intersection with every green.

You’re well past fashionably late at this point. You’re sure that the commissioned driver’s fearing for his job at this point, knowing exactly how long ago you were supposed to have arrived at your own party.

But you couldn’t care less. The longer it takes you to get there, the better. The vodka you’d downed neat, standing over the bar cart in your polished apartment, sours in the pit of your stomach. And the fact that your outfit barely allows a spare breath isn’t exactly cooling your nerves, either.

You’re draped over the door, resting one elbow on its edge to cushion your jaw as you lay your forehead against the chilly glass. Outside, the crowded traffic casts a golden warmth over the bluish urban night, betraying the slow swirl of fluffy snowflakes that drift lazily into the street.

Tonight has all the makings for an ideal, albeit bitterly cold, New Year’s Eve. But if it were up to you, you’d be watching all the wonder unfold from the comfort of your own bed.

You’ve been away long enough, though, says your agent. It’s time, says your manager. You stay away from the spotlight for too long and we’re going to forget about you, says the Internet.

The glittering gold fabric your stylist presented you with would’ve swelled your heart on any other occasion. He knows your taste to the button. And after breaking into exhausted sobs at your first fitting together, you’d been able to tell him that the outfit was perfect.

At long last, the glossy windows of your agency loom outside. You push the backseat door open before your driver can even kill the engine, stepping out as gracefully as you can muster and pulling the folds of your designer coat demurely closed around your glamorous party clothes. You’re greeted by swaths of flashbulbs and determined shouts of your hero name, and suddenly the practiced gracious smile that you’ve always saved for the cameras is stretching your lips one more time.

You used to love something about this. But you’ve almost never had to face it alone.

Inside, the party’s taken off without you. Your coat’s taken before you can even see who’s hands are slipping it deftly off your shoulders, but by the time you’re ushered into the elevator and sent all the way to the top floor, you’re already sweating with the anticipation of all that’s waiting for you.

The doors open to a rush of guests, each noticing you simultaneously and pushing in to greet you.

Arriving late does absolutely nothing to dissolve the grandness of your entrance. Your attention is immediately pulled in a handful of different directions as celebrities and dignitaries and politicians shake your hands and congratulate you. People you’ve never met are telling you how good it is to see you on your feet again and, despite the overwhelming distractions, you can’t stop searching the crowd.

You don’t want to let yourself search for somebody in particular, but you spot him long before your shame catches up with you.

It’s not a glimpse of his mussed hair you catch, bobbing through the crowd. Nor is it a slip of the edge of his suit, the most devastating shade of midnight blue you could have possibly imagined.

Your eyes, like magnets, are drawn right to his crimson gaze. Lightning shoots through your chest, and you look away so fast you nearly pull a muscle in your neck. You cast your gaze immediately to the red-faced MP in front of you and let yourself stare. Still, from the corner of your eye, you can see the way he lingers, still facing you.

You haven’t seen Katsuki in months. Luckily, your ability to multitask has not faded, and you make easy small talk with the mayor and his wife while you sense him, in all his midnight splendor, disappearing into the crowd again.

A close call. Too close, in fact, not to warrant a drink. You excuse yourself kindly from the mayor’s attention, cutting through the glamorous partygoers until you reach the bar at the center of the room. It’s crowded, but you grab the bartender’s attention quick enough and order the first of many glasses of Dom Perignon.

The agency knows how to spend, for a special occasion.

It’s while you’re trapped at the bar, waiting for that imperative first drink, that he corners you. You spot him an instant too late, sidling between two dancing couples and crossing the short distance between you. There’s no way to skirt subtly away from him now. Instead, you lean more fervently across the bar and immerse yourself in an intense examination of the liquor, shelved decoratively behind the working bartenders.

He hesitates—possibly for the first time ever—but you’re determined not to watch as he searches for the right way to bridge the silence. You spot the way he stuffs his hands into his pockets, and when he finally speaks it’s low and sharp and bitter.

“That’s a nice dress.”

He has to lean too close to make his voice heard, speaking low and gruff to you in a way he never used to. You’re too anxious to care whether he sees the way you close your eyes to dull the fervent ache that flares in your chest.

He’s not allowed to say things like that to you. Not now.

“Listen.” He doesn’t wait for you to answer, pushing ahead.

In the throes of closeness, it’s easy to pick up the tremor in his voice. That kind of shake used to scare you. It’s the way he’s always spoken to you when he’s keeping his temper at bay in public.

He’s opening his mouth to say something else, something deeper and far more expository perhaps, but your champagne arrives with no moment to spare. You pluck it eagerly from the bartender’s fingers with an exceedingly gracious smile and turn quickly in the direction you swear Katsuki’s not blocking.

“Watch it.” He grabs your wrist to keep you from sloshing half your fresh champagne down your front. His touch sears hotter than you’d dreaded, and you can’t stop yourself from flinching at the rough brush of his calloused fingers over your tender inner wrist.

Fuck.

“Don’t run off,” he insists, squeezing your wrist just a little tighter. Your entire body is drawn tight like a bow, but you’re not actively searching for an escape route at this point. Sensing this, he slowly unwraps his fingers, dropping your hand and letting you down half your drink in a couple of parched gulps.

“You look…” you start to say, letting your eyes wander his immaculate form one more time. Whoever cut that suit for him knew his shape well. It fits perfectly. Contrasts his golden hair like the night behind a harvest moon.

Absence has not culled your feelings for him. Especially not when he comes back to you like this.

You take another long, slow sip, ignoring the way Katsuki’s brows shoot toward his hairline when you nearly empty the glass. His gaze darts to the narrow flute in your hand, the prints of peachy lipstick that mar it.

With your heart beating a touch slower, you try again.

“You look good.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“I can’t—” he starts, shaking his head as his eyes swim the crowd. “I’m not doing this.”

“What?” Your stomach drops. When he looks at you again it’s dead straight, burgundy and blazing in that way that used to make you molten.

Now it makes you want to cut and run.

“I’m not gonna fuckin’ play nice, like this,” he pushes. He takes a step toward you, letting your name—your real name—fall from his lips as tender and soft as a prayer. “Explain to me why my agent had to tell me you were gonna be here tonight.”

“Katsuki,” you plead quietly, backing away from him a touch. “I don’t want to—I can’t. Here. Please.”

For a million other people he might press on. He might get angry and demand an answer, threaten anything it takes to solve the puzzles in his brain. For you, his strong jaw ticks and he shoves clenched fists back into his ironed pockets.

“Let’s just,” you begin, “make it through to midnight, okay?”

“Fine,” he bites, but he doesn’t like folding to you. He gets you back by clearing his throat and extending you a palm, drawing the attention of the people around you. They turn, charmed by the agency’s finest reappearing as the duo they’ve always adored.

There’s a glint of something in his eyes as he gives his chin a little jut toward the dance floor.

“Dance with me, then.”

You’ve been to hundreds of opulent agency spectacles together. Charity benefits, galas, holiday parties and the like have always been studded by your presence. But no matter how many times you’ve entered the party together, you never managed to get him onto the dance floor. Despite your whining and pleading and fussing, he’s never ever let you drag him out there.

So this feels like a particularly low blow. But the orchestra’s struck up a dreamy rendition of The Way You Look Tonight and there are too many people watching for you to turn him down.

Instead, you down the rest of your champagne, set it on the bar behind you, and slip your hand defiantly into his.

“Fine.”

His fingers close gently around your palm and he gives it a lingering squeeze that turns your blood to venom.

You’re already racing through a complex plan to survive this attention as he walks you onto the dance floor. Some of the other couples pause in their swaying to send a smattering of applause over the crowd. You can feel the winning smile tugging at your mouth, forcing you to swallow the panicked ache in your chest.

Katsuki pauses at the center of the dance floor and pulls you slowly closer. The low dip of your gown places his warm hand on bare skin when he settles it in the small of your back, and you’re sure he doesn’t miss the sharp little suck of breath that you’re not prepared to hide.

He does not try to speak, so you’re silent as you settle a shaky hand on the shoulder of his perfect suit. He’s as perfect a dancer as you’ve always known he’d be, and he leads you into a smooth little sway that’s easy enough to navigate in your precarious gold heels but sweeps you into the music like a scene from years gone by.

“Hey,” he grunts a few bars in, ducking a little closer as his fingers press into the bare skin of your spine. He pulls you against him, forcing your tense body against his. The gentle dip of his hairstyle brushes your temple as he leans forward to murmur in your ear. “You’re holding your breath.”

You deflate against him, letting your eyes fall shut. When you take your next careful inhale, your head is filled by the heady, smoky scent of him. Your heart pounds so forcefully it’s practically blinding you. But above all else you hate yourself for still feeling all of this, after so many months of promising to force it away.

Katsuki knows you well enough not to try and trap you in conversation in public. But he doesn’t pull back any further, continuing to hold you flush against him, letting your soft cheek brush his with every couple of steps.

Despite your best efforts, you’re drowning in him: the strength of his touch, the fluidity in his movements. His thumb strokes the base of your spine with an easy rhythm that you’re trying hard not to notice. It’s becoming too much. He’s holding you closer than a colleague should, tucking his nose too attentively against the side of your head for a courtesy dance. You’re overthinking too many of the signs. You’re letting yourself believe what should have been thoroughly dashed to pieces so many months ago.

It’s when tears well behind your glittery eyelids that you put a stop to it.

“Katsuki, I—” You can’t finish, pushing yourself sharply away from his chest. Whatever expression of dreamlike peace that had touched his eyes fades quickly as he sees the telltale wet sparkle in yours, and he reaches for you an instant too late.

He calls your name softly, fingertips brushing the edge of your upper arm. But your tears are spilling over and you’re backing away and you cannot be here anymore, not when people are starting to see.

“I can’t do this,” you plead. “I can’t pre—I’m sorry.”

With a final shake of your head, you turn and hurry clumsily from the dance floor, pulling up the beaded skirt of your heavy gown and sweeping, as quickly as possible, to the glass doors shut tightly against the imposing snow on the terrace.

It’s bitterly cold, nearly fifty storeys up, and the wind whips mercilessly past your bare arms with biting chill. You can’t stay out here long, but it still feels better than the alternative.

With shaking fingers, you dip into the tiny bag you’ve been wearing over one shoulder. You’ve stashed exactly one emergency cigarette in its silky depths. You haven’t smoked in weeks, but something told you that tonight would beg one.

You have to back away from the railing to even light it in the wind, but you’re barely two puffs in before the door behind you opens carefully.

It’s the last person in the world you hoped for. And the only one you can imagine finding you out here. He’s got a glass of something neat in each hand—amber in one, clear in the other. He spies the cigarette in your fingers and his soft, concerned expression melts into a scowl.

“You’re still smoking?”

You take a defiant drag, blowing the smoke in his direction. The wind catches it, carrying it in a sharp curve back over your head. Katsuki licks his lower lip, but you can tell by the way his nose twitches that he’s trying not to chuckle.

You nod toward the whiskey in his right hand. “How many of those have you had tonight?”

“Not enough,” he quips. He nods toward the cigarette. “Put it out.”

“You don’t get to order me around anymore.”

“I said put it out.”

Your livid soul wants to defy him. You’re craving the conflict that inevitably comes when you both dig in your heels. But you’ve got no energy left to fight, so you flick the smoke dejectedly onto the wet pavement and crush it under one delicate pump.

“Better?” The attitude cuts cruelly through your voice. Katsuki just pushes the other glass into your hand and you know that it’s gin before you even have to smell it. You roll your eyes.

“The healthier alternative,” you snarl, but he’s finished with your games.

“Come inside,” he prompts. “You’re gonna lose your nose out here.”

“I’m not sure that’s your problem any longer.”

“What the hell’s wrong with you? Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Katsuki, I wanna hear you say it.”

He’s throwing back an irritated slug of his drink, but he bristles, gesturing wildly with the cup.

“Like we’re not gonna be partners anymore.”

His voice is punctuated by a horrible, involuntary sob that breaks from your lips. He’s always been able to read you so well, picking up on things that you’re not even ready to acknowledge. But he’s right. That is how you’ve been speaking, because you can’t even imagine standing next to him in a photo right now, let alone letting him take your life into his hands.

Katsuki moves forward, shocked by your tears, but you hold your empty palm out straight and, like he would only for you, he relents.

“Because I don’t think we can be anymore.”

“Shut up. Look at you. You’re fine. You look…” his eyes cast briefly over your form, “fine.”

You clap a hand protectively to your abdomen, remembering the painful tug and knowing that he’s missing the point.

“That’s not why,” you snap through your tears. “That’s not even…close to why. Katsuki, don’t be dense.” Your voice is breaking because you’re about to say it, the thing you couldn’t even bring yourself to feel as you were zipped into your gown earlier tonight. And if you’re going to say it, there’s no point in doing it with gusto.

Might as well go out like the whimpering fool you are.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you whine, “because somehow, despite my best efforts, Katsuki, I fell fucking in love with you, so hard, and you knew I did, and so you…you don’t. You don’t, and I’ve ruined everything, and that’s fine, but I—”

He pulls your name from the very depths of his chest. If you were expecting fire and brimstone, you’re met with an even more harrowing sight—soft, somber, remorseful Katsuki, looking at you like he’d stop the world on its axis if it would make things better.

The memories are too easy to reconjure, and the sunshine of that sticky summer afternoon that changed everything lights up behind his gaze.

There was a crime syndicate you’d been uprooting for months. An underground hideout tucked well away from the prying eyes of hero society. A stray spray of bullets—bullets, of all things, finding the gaps in your shattered armour and nearly taking you from him.

You’d been sure. Both of you. There were too many shots. There was too much blood. The hideout was too well-hidden for anybody to find you in time. Your vision was bleeding out around the edges, and you saw Katsuki cry real tears for the first time.

In a slurred heap of breathless prose, you’d unloaded everything. The most important secret you’d ever kept from him came spilling from your blood-tinged lips.

You were glad to go, if it meant you never had to lose him. Glad to be the one to selfishly leave him behind. You were going to be okay if you never had to face a world without him in it. Because—and you’d choked this on a fresh wave of blood and ungraceful spittle—you’d loved him as long as you’d ever known him.

Six days later, you woke up alone in the ICU. And that was the last you’d seen or heard or known of the man who’d once promised to have your back, always.

Katsuki silently finishes his drink. His cheeks and nose have flushed deeply from the ruthless chill, and he turns to give the city one last glance before moving toward the door.

“Come inside,” he gruffs. Deep shivers have broken out along the column of your spine, but you wrap your frigid arms around yourself in protest.

“I’m not going back in there.” Not like this.

“Idiot,” he snaps softly. “Look at you. You’re gonna die for real if you stay out here.” He tightens his jaw and slams the empty glass down on the windowsill. Then he looks at you with all the lights of the night blazing in his crimson stare.

“Let me take you somewhere quiet. No one’s gonna see.” His chest rises and falls with a deep breath and he reaches carefully for your arm. “I promise.”

Even with a breaking heart, you’re a fucking sucker for him. Your voice is teary and pathetic but pinched by cold.

“Fine.”

He slips an arm around your shoulders—making your chest lurch—and you duck back inside. Immediately he takes you to the wall, putting himself between you and the rest of the party. With the breadth of his chest he shields you from prying eyes that grow drunker by the minute.

You skirt the edge of the party, making it to the stairwell door on the opposite wall. Somebody by the bar looks up just in time to see Bakugou tugging fiercely down on the handle, but you slip onto the fluorescent-lit landing and the silver door falls shut behind you without consequence.

You’re turning around to grab for the door that isn’t closing fast enough as he slips through it, colliding gently with his chest. Bakugou grabs your wrists to stop you, and for an instant you’re nose-to-nose, smelling him and the whiskey on his breath and the faint odour of paint that never quite faded from the concrete walls.

If not for the tears leaving streaks in your makeup, you might let yourself believe he’s lingering in front of you on purpose.

You pull from his grip and turn back toward the stairs before either of you have the chance to imagine more.

Your office is at the end of the hall on the next floor down. It’s a corner office studded with windows, far too lovely for someone who spends as much time in the field as you do. But you’d worked hard to make it a personable space, with plants and artwork and a couple of very comfortable guest chairs in emerald velvet.

Katsuki rolls his eyes every time he has to wave off the odour of your favourite scented candle, but you’ve caught him admiring what you’ve done with his office, too.

Now, the space is too tidy for either of your tastes, a little dusty from so many months of neglect. You’ve been out of commission for six months, and nursing a heartbreak far too immense to allow any casual visits to the agency.

He closes the door behind the both of you. Locks it, just in case. You’re already pacing across the rug and perching on the edge of the desk, gratefully taking some of the weight off your aching feet.

He keeps his back to you for a long moment, fingers lingering on the brass doorknob. His shoulders bob with a deep, harrowing sigh.

“You were dying.”

He turns around, and in the quiet dark of your office his eyes are lit up with a deeper fear than you’ve ever seen in him. He comes toward you and sits in one of your squishy little chairs, steepling his fingers and settling his elbows on his knees.

“You don’t–” he shakes his head and lowers it, pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead. “You don’t understand. You weren’t making any sense.”

“I was,” you bite back, gripping at the edge of your desk. “I meant everything I said to you, Katsuki; I remember every word.”

He flinches. He looks so sorry it’s starting to genuinely scare you.

“That’s not it,” he demands, straightening. “You didn’t. I did.” He slapped a hand against his chest, the dull thud reverberating through your own heart.

“You said those things and I didn’t believe you. They couldn’t have been true. Not when I’d spent so much fucking time wishing they could be. I couldn’t tell myself you felt that way about me. I couldn’t hope. Not when I’d come so fucking close to losing you so easily, I—”

His voice breaks and he looks away, and you might be crazy but his chin gives a telltale little shake like he’s holding back tears.

“So you thought it would be easier to what? Fucking ghost me like a bad Tinder date?”

That hurts more than it should. You’ve seen Bakugou at his very worst, bleeding and soot-streaked and showing you feelings he never means to. For a very brief period in your lives, you believed yourself to be special.

“Don’t play the innocent,” he snarls. “You never talked to me, either. I had to find out from my fucking manager that you were outta the hospital.”

“So you never thought to drop by? Bring some fucking… flowers?” You can feel the venom filling your mouth and you’re not altogether certain you’re strong enough to swallow it this time.

“And tell you what? That I was in love with you and, maybe I heard you wrong, but you said something while you were dying in my fuckin’ arms and I was hoping for some goddamned clarification?”

“Yes!” You sob, the word ripping itself from your chest and landing wet and heavy on the floor between you. “That! Anything would have been better than radio fucking silence. Katsuki, I was sure you hated me.”

“Well I fucking love you, okay?” He rises from his chair, taking one step forward. It lands him almost right between your thighs and you hate how close he is, but you have no power to pull away. He cups your jaw in strong, gentle fingers, forcing your eyes to his.

“I fucked up,” he presses. He leans down and presses his forehead to yours and this time his proximity is on purpose. You drink it down in eager gulps.

“I missed you,” he murmurs. Despite your tears and the ache in your heart, you give a wet little laugh and nuzzle your nose against his.

“I missed you, too.”

He takes your hands and pulls them both to his chest. And for a long moment you just sit there, curled over one another in the dark and growing accustomed to the idea of being okay again.

“Did you just…” you start after a long moment of silence. His eyelashes flutter against your cheek as he tucks his cheek against yours, but the grin that pulls your mouth is enough for him to stand back and look at you.

“Did you just admit to making a mistake?”

You’re laughing at your own joke before Katsuki can even roll his eyes. But he’s scowling good-naturedly and tugging himself against you by the hips.

“C’mere, you brat.”

He’s leaning in to close the distance between you when muffled chanting from upstairs makes you pause. You tilt an ear toward the window and light up, easily recognizing the five, four, three, two, one as the magnitude builds.

Bright flashes of gold and red light up the sky outside your window in a brilliant display. And all at once the lingering ache drains from your chest and you shoot Katsuki a fond little smile.

“I guess it’s midnight.”

“We missed the fireworks,” he notes, nodding toward the window as he edges back toward you.

“Not really,” you confess, and the first real big smile breaks through the pain when he steps up between your knees again, nice and tight and deliberate.

He cups your jaw in one hand again, settling the other palm on your knee, where it peeks through the golden slip of your dress.

“Happy New Year,” you whisper, eyes falling shut. You hear the way he smiles, that bare little chuckle that used to make your heart light up like stars.

He leans in and kisses you without another word. It’s soft but firm and so loving, so much better than any brush of the hand or lingering glance. Better, even, than the way he danced you into a stupor upstairs. This is yours and nobody else’s.

And you’re not letting him go anytime soon.

You let the kiss deepen as naturally as you can, dropping your jaw and letting the bare press of his tongue roll against your teeth. You reach up and grab his jacket by its lapels, hitching him even closer as the fireworks die out behind you.

He’s not backing down, either. Katsuki draws his hands from your body to unbutton his jacket, shrugging it away easily without breaking the kiss. He’s pressing his mouth to yours in long, lingering spells, tasting you eagerly while his hands have to stay busy. But as soon as he can he’s touching you again, teasing his fingers under the slit of your dress and brushing them over your bare thighs.

“Katsuki…” you whine into his mouth, turning your head to gasp and fill your empty lungs. He finds the next bare patch of skin, kissing down the side of your jaw. He finds your earring where it lays against your tender neck, sucking the crystal into his mouth and giving it a gentle tug.

“Fuck,” you gasp, and he grins into your skin.

“Don’t tell me you’ve had enough already.”

“Not a chance,” you growl. There are millions of questions flooding your subconscious. But years of tension and desire spiral more fiercely between you. It’s energy that demands release. And you don’t want to wait another second.

“God,” he groans hard, collapsing gently into you. As he presses forward against you, the twitching swell of his erection pushes into your bare thigh. You slide your palms down the meat of his chest and find his mouth again, kissing him with searing intent.

“Look at you,” he rasps into your mouth, gripping hard at the weighty skirt of your beaded gown. “You’re a goddamned vision in this, you know that?”

You pull back to look at him, raw sexual energy briefly dispersed by his tender confession. For a long moment you sit there, panting at each other, remembering how much this is about to mean.

Fuck it. If he’s in, so are you.

“Help me get it off.”

You slide to your feet, pushing him back a couple of steps to accommodate you. As soon as you turn around he’s sliding a palm up your side, thumbing at the fabric to find its zipper.

“God damn,” he growls, leaning in to kiss a path down the column of your spine. He drops to one knee as he works the zipper down the back of the dress—sitting low, thanks to its open back—letting his mouth trail all the way to the waistband of your underwear. All the while, you brace a palm on the edge of your desk, trying your best not to implode.

This is more attention than you ever could have prayed for.

He peels the thin straps down your arms and shoves the whole mess to your feet. You’re bending down to unbuckle the straps on your heels, but he stops you with a hand on the back of your thigh.

“Leave ‘em on.”

His voice sends a sharp pang of arousal through your entire body. When he stands, trailing his fingers all the way up the back of your naked thigh and over the swell of your ass, the arousal disperses into a dull ache that settles in the pit of your stomach and throbs incessantly.

He digs his fingers into the flesh of your hip and turns you to face him. Your nipples are already peaking in the chill of your office, and he sucks a deep breath through his teeth as he slides his palms up your tummy.

There’s puckered scar tissue and new ridges on your abdomen, but there’s no pain when he traces brushes over them.

He pauses, looking down with dull shock tugging his brow. You’re holding your breath again, watching him circle the roughest part of your new scars with one tender thumb.

“It’s okay,” you plead, cupping his cheeks and forcing his eyes back to yours. There’s pain littering his gaze that you’re determined to dissolve, and you lean in to kiss him until he’s groaning into your mouth and drawing his hands toward your chest.

“God,” you breathe, goosebumps betraying you as they race beneath his fingers. Katsuki watches your face as he dips his head, pushing your breasts together and laying kisses between them.

“Please,” you whimper, reaching forward and settling a hand over the front of his pants. You palm the shape of his cock through the pressed wool and he flinches, biting gently into your tender flesh.

“Katsuki,” you pant, squeezing and rubbing the hard swell in a gentle, heady rhythm as you set your ass on the edge of your desk again. “I need you.”

“Jesus,” he curses, dropping his hands and reaching desperately for his tie. “You’re gonna fuckin’ kill me before I even get my cock out, sweetness.”

It’s the dirtiest thing he’s ever said to you. And it shows. You’re a shivering, lustblown mess already, but the petname that falls from his lips is enough to make you whimper.

He shrugs out of his shirt and pushes you further onto the desk, dropping to his knees in front of you and pushing your thighs apart with strong fingers.

“Always kinda wanted to do this in here,” he confesses with that cocky smirk that’s always made a hummingbird out of your heart.

But Katsuki doesn’t give you too much time to swoon over his pretty words, kissing a path up the inside of one plush thigh and nipping at your sensitive flesh. He helps you brace your heels against the rug and lift your hips, peeling your underwear off and rucking it down your knees. There’s something very naughty about the way it feels to settle your bare ass on your polished desk.

But there’s something even naughtier about the way it feels to have Katsuki on his knees in front of you.

He pushes your thighs apart again, harsher this time, and settles your knees over his shoulders. You’d like to ride the wave of self-consciousness that threatens to crest when his breath ghosts over the folds of your heated sex.

He pushes higher for a moment, taking your sides in his hands and drawing lovely little kisses down the rough length of your scar. You push self-consciously at his head, making him pull pack and settle a hand over the flesh instead. He tilts his chin up, shooting you a look so filled with guilt and sorrow it nearly shatters the moment.

He wasn’t there for the pain. And as he kisses back down to your hips and thighs, you let yourself hope that this will be enough to make up for it on both sides.

But then he leans in and licks a long stripe up your cunt and the groan that echoes from his chest makes it hard to do anything but cum on the spot.

“Fuck,” you sigh wantonly, letting your head fall back as you brace your palms on the wood behind you. Your fingertips dig into the surface and he settles into an easy rhythm, slipping his arms under your thighs and tugging you tight to his face.

He’s not shy with his voice, either, grunting and sighing into your pussy with every stroke of his tongue. The noises double your pleasure almost immediately, coupled with the obscene slurps that vibrate all the way up your spine.

It doesn’t take long at all for him to find that tender little spot, the perfect direction from which to swirl his tongue against your clit. It’s obvious in the way your legs go tight around the sides of his head, the way you shiver and cry and clap a hand to the back of his head.

He grunts hard into your body when your fingers rake through his hair, harder still when your tense thighs press the narrow points of your heels into the flesh of his back.

“Katsu,” you whimper, already fucked out and tender like you’ve never been for him, “I’m gonna cum. Fucking shit, I-I’m gonna…”

He takes your warning like a hit, leaning more fiercely into you, keeping his rhythm with intense precision. Later, you’ll try not to think about why he’s so good at this. But right now, all you can think about is the way your pleasure rears up and crashes over you, sending loud gasps and breathy mewls of ecstasy from your chest as you squeeze his head and pull his hair and roll your hips shakily into his persistent mouth.

“Jesus Christ,” he snarls, sitting back on his haunches and swiping a palm over his flushed lips. He looks up at you, rubbing your thigh with one free hand as you come down panting from your ecstatic high. Between his legs, his cock juts obscenely down one thigh of his suit pants, and he palms himself shamelessly as he gets to his feet, taking in every inch of your pleasure-soaked self.

“You’re gonna make me cream my fuckin’ pants someday,” he chides, fumbling with his belt and impatiently shucking his pants. His undershorts follow closely, and you’re barely on your feet again before he takes you by the shoulders and turns your back to him.

“C’mere.” He slides a hand under one of your thighs, hitching it gently onto the edge of your desk and coming up tightly behind you. The brush of his knuckle against your ass proves that he’s stroking himself, and the tip of his stiff cock leaves a little print of wet precum on the back of your leg.

“Please,” you moan, still hazy and shaken from your first orgasm. Still endlessly needy, though, when Katsuki’s involved. “God, baby, just fuck me already.”

“Fuckin’ hell, you can’t say shit like that,” he groans, twitching behind you. “It’s like you don’t know how fuckin’ sexy you are.”

He braces a hand on your bare hip and then you feel it, the tip of his drooling cock pressing up between your slippery folds. It’s enough to make you whine and arch your back, wiggling your hips impatiently against his.

It’s enough to make Katsuki lose it.

“Shit,” he growls, gripping the fat of your hip and pushing forward, sliding home with one smooth thrust. He bottoms out inside you right away, buried perfectly in your belly and making you feel every inch.

“Baby—” you start to breathe, but he doesn’t waste time. Katsuki reaches around and lays his palm flat on your sternum, pulling you back against him. He keeps his other hand braced on your hip for leverage, dropping his mouth to the crook of your shoulder while he starts to thrust.

All you can do is keep your knee planted on the edge of your desk and try not to scream as he fucks you in steady, long thrusts, lapping and sucking all along the side of your neck while his hand roams over your chest and thumbs your nipple. Whatever hairstyle you’d left the house with has come long undone by now and you’re sure that if your makeup wasn’t smudged before, it’s certainly not going to survive the drool and sweat and heat that he’s forcing through you with every push of his hips.

The slap of his body against yours fills the space, punctuated only by your harsh pants and quiet whines of pleasure. Katsuki’s fingers dig harshly into your hip, gripping you tighter each time he anchors himself back into your fluttering cunt. Your walls are clamping ruthlessly around him, but he doesn’t miss a beat, slipping that free palm away from your nipples and down your belly to strum rhythmically at the swell of your stiff clit.

“I love you,” he grunts breathlessly behind you, and the raw truth behind it brings a rush of warmth to your chest you can’t ignore. You turn your head sharply towards him, pushing your forehead to his and feeling every beat as his breathing becomes laboured.

His body’s growing tight behind yours, his thrusts losing some of their impeccable rhythm as his brow knits against yours. He’s concentrating hard—holding back, you realize—and you reach down to cover his hand that braces your hip, giving it a relenting squeeze.

“Baby,” you plead. “Let go for me, baby, I can feel it.”

“God,” he mutters. “No—fuck, gonna make you—with me, sweetness.” Your body is clenching in preparation for your own climax already, and the fact that he can even pick up on it shouldn’t surprise you.

“I’m there,” you promise. “I’m there, Katsuki, fuck, just cum for me. Please.”

His arms tighten around you, seizing you hard against his heaving chest. You lean forward and seal your mouth against his, kissing him as he loses control and cums with a shout that echoes at the back of your throat.

He grabs your ass in one hand and fucks madly into you, spurting warm handfuls of cum into your belly and biting down hard on your lower lip. The erratic twitch of his fingers on your still-aching clit and the warm release inside you is enough to bring you to another tight, simpering little peak—not as powerful as the first one, but just as significant.

He stays behind you for a long moment, pinning you to the desk while he goes soft inside you. Finally he peppers kisses down the back of one shoulder and steps away from you, already smoothing his hair and taking in the image of you, in nothing but your heels, dripping with his cum.

The first of many, you let yourself hope, as you turn to carefully face him.

“I guess we missed the countdown,” you quip, reaching for your discarded panties. Navigating the strappy thing seems a great deal more complicated now that it’s not Katsuki tearing them off you.

He smirks at you in a way that does not make it easier to concentrate on the task at hand. Especially since he’s watching you struggle, easily buttoning himself into his now-creased shirt.

“I didn’t miss a thing.”

He’s already half-clothed by the time you get your underwear on again, stooping to collect your delicate dress from the floor and thumbing the sequins that pepper its surface. His smirk has dissolved into another pensive look as he examines the cloth.

“If I’d known,” he tells you, pressing the scratchy fabric into your hands, “I never would’ve—”

You lean up and push your mouth to his, soft and loving and just enough to silence him.

“I know.”

Once Katsuki’s got the rest of his clothes on, he helps you carefully into your dress and gets behind you one more time to help you zip it. He can’t stop kissing you even for a minute, peppering his lips over your back, neck, arms. He turns you around and takes your hands, kissing the backs of each palm with devotion that, if you stop and think about it, you’ve seen in his eyes a thousand times before.

“You’ll make it up to me,” you promise good naturedly, letting him slide his arms around your waist. He looks at you again, diligent and honest.

“I will.”

“Good.”

You slide your hands up his sleeves of heart-stealing midnight blue, smiling so big it ought to hurt. You tilt your head toward the door, giving your chin a little jerk as you squeeze his biceps through the pressed wool.

“For a start,” you say, daring to lean a little closer while he’s still feeling tender, “how about another dance?”

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bnha x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo #my hero academia #bakugou #bnha #bnha bakugou #bnha bakugo #it's new years eeeeeeve and i am not #spending it with him #sigh #;.;

577 notes · View notes

obsessive-ego · 3 years

Text

Just go with it

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Lewd mentions

Beetlejuice needs you to pretend to be his fiance or he's in trouble

"Babes?"

...

"Babes, wake up"

....?

"Y/n wake up"

What?

Was your first thought as you are shaken awake by the ghost who has made your home his, you mumble out something unintelligible as you grope around for your phone, you cringe as the bright light of the screen blinds you, as your eyes adjust to the light you groan, 4am.

"Beetlejuice, what-"

"Okay, babes, no time to explain but I need you to pretend to be my fiance" despite the odd statement beetlejuice sounded a tad worried.

"What?"

"Long story short I may have said a few things to some guys, and if we dont pull this off I will be dragged back to the netherworld" the ghoul whispered dragging you out if bed.

"Oh" was all you could muster is your drowsy state.

"So theres a suit from the netherworld waiting to meet you, in your living room, now" beetlejuice continued rubbing the back of his neck.

You sigh and shuffle about your room, slipping on slippers and giving your hair a quick once over, as you reach for your housecoat beetlejuice swats away your hand.

"Bee-"

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders "this will work much better babes, we need to sell this"

You groan, you were too tired for this, thank god you didnt work in the morning, who knows how long this shit is gonna take, but as tired as you were you couldnt let whoever take your ghost back to the netherworld.

"Okay you're my fiance, I proposed a week ago, and you're head over heels for me, that last part wont be hard to fake huh doll?" The ghoul gives you a wink, you sigh.

"Wait, almost forgot" the ghoul snaps his fingers, you feel a light squeeze on you right handed middle finger.

Upon your finger appears rather tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, you honestly felt your heart squeeze when you saw it, to be honest staring at the ring felt like a dream, maybe because you just woke up? It was beautiful, and the idea of it being for real kinda hurt knowing it was for pretend, but those feelings didnt matter right now, Beej needed you to help him avoid being dragged back to the netherworld, you can think about those depressing emotions later.

The two of you leave the bedroom, beetlejuice takes the lead as you shuffle behind.

As the two of you enter the living room you could help but pause and stare at the 'suit' beej claimed that was waiting for you.

In your little arm chair sat a fairly tall skeleton man, his bones a blueish hue, wearing a lime green suit that looked fresh off the rack, guess not all dead guys wore dirty clothes, in all honesty this was your first time seeing another dead person aside from the maitlands and beetlejuice, they were human, beej was humanish, but this guy looked like he walked out of a cartoon.

"Sorry for the wait, you know breathers, they need to sleep" beetlejuice cackled snapping you from your thoughts "well there's y/n, theres the ring, and theres the door, feel free to use it" beetlejuice snears, wanting to get this whole thing done with, yes he adored messing with you, and with different circumstances this could have been funny, but too much was on the line for him and you were an awful liar, he loved you sure, but theres no way you could pull off lying.

"Y/n I presume?" The skeleton gestures to you, completely ignoring beetlejuice, you nod "its pleasure to put a face to the name, I apologize for the rude awakening, when you've been dead for as long as I have, you tend to lose the meaning of time, my dear this wont take long, we just need to clear up some loose ends then you can get back to your rest" the skeleton gestures you to sit on the couch next to beetlejuice who has already made himself comfortable.

You gently sit down next to BJ who was quick to drape an arm over your shoulders and pull you into his side.

The skeleton pulls out a clipboard from his jacket and flips through the pages

"Lawrence B Shoggoth, y/n m/n l/n, I have requested an audience with you two to clear up some issues with Lawrence's recent updated paper work, not to mention a handful of rumours that need to be put to bed" the ghoul flips through the papers "it says here the y/n you are Lawrence's spouse, is that true?"

You nod

"You see y/n, Lawrence here cant be trusted at face value, so that is why I must converse with you on the matter, so you are his fiance correct?"

"Yes"

"I see, now how long have the two of you known each other?"

"About a year or so" you shrug

"Mmmhmm" the ghoul scribbles down something and continues "now when did he propose to you?"

"Last week" this was so anxiety inducing, for a man with no eyeballs it sure felt like he was staring into your soul.

"Now what drawn you to such a, oh how do I put this, such a man?"

You hear beetlejuice huff out as if he was insulted.

"Well, beetlejuice may be rough around the edges, and can be a dick at times, but he's great company, hes funny, witty, has great taste in movies, and he makes me smile, hes also, well, he's also good looking too" you look away from both parties, as you were clearly embarrassed over what you said, it was the truth, but it still made your face burn.

Beetlejuice leans forward, looking in your direction, eyes wide and mouth a gape, his hair now a bright pink.

"Mr Shoggoth, you look surprised at y/n's words" the ghoul grabs Beetlejuice's attention.

"Heh, you see y/n is the shy type, hearing that type a thing is rare and ALWAYS gets my attention". Beetlejuice slicks his hair back removing the pink and resetting it to its default green.

"Mmmmhmmm" was the ghoul's only response as attention was drawn back to you.

"So y/n you truly are betrothed to Lawrance, you want to be wed to him on purpose?" The skeleton's tone was almost surprised, as if beetlejuice was the most revolting creature in existence and you wanting, out of your own free will to be bound to such a thing, was the most insane thing he has ever herd.

You nod, beetlejuice gives the skeleton a smug toothy grin.

"This isnt a joke, nor is he blackmailing or threatening you?" His tone sounded desperate, as if he needed to prove beetlejuice was lying for his own good.

You only shake your head, while beetlejuice surpresses a laugh

"Ya see bone head? I'm innocent~" he chuckles, squeezing you close to his side.

"Y/n you are aware of what you're doing for Lawrence correct?" The skeleton sounded almost smug, you only stare back, waiting for him to elaborate.

"You see y/n, you are doing Lawrence here a huge favor, when the dead marry the living, they are able to walk the earth like you do, you are granting him life, something he has never had, this is why we must confirm with you, that you understand what he's doing" the skeleton gestures to beetlejuice, the demon only rolls his eyes in response.

"I know"

Attention is drawn to you

"I know all about that life giving thing, beetlejuice told me about it"

"Well you see y/n, this isnt the first time Lawrence has-"

"I know, I was told, by him and the person he tried to marry the first time, small world huh"

The skeleton pauses for a moment then coughs into his fist, as if to regain his composure after being surprised, he continues "I see, Lawrence has been honest with you, I didnt think he had it in him"

Beetlejuice snarls at the comment, tips of his hair turning red.

"Just a few more loose ends y/n then you can return to your rest" the skeleton flips through his papers "ah, Lawrence, y/n may have been couched, and since you seem so eager to speak, I do have a few things I need to clarify with you, if the two of you are in love as you say and this isnt a farce, you would know plenty about your future spouse, when was y/n born?" The skeleton snears as if hes caught you two red handed

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "easy *birthday day and year* hell I woke them up with some early morning birthday head"

You cover your face in embarrassment at that comment, yet you were surprised he knew the year.

"Correct, and might I saw congratulations on a LEGAL partner this time"

Beetlejuice rolls his eyes at the low blow before grumbling "it was a green card thing"

The skeleton ignores Beetlejuice's comment and continues "what drew you to this breather? And please keep it out of the gutter"

Beetlejuice huffs "spoil sport, y/n here is one of the kindest, sweetest, softest breather I ever met, they let me do whatever I want, they want me around, no stings attached, they got great taste, just look at the company they keep, and let me tell ya, the first time we met they sucker punched me in the jaw for scaring them, and I've been dreaming of that swing ever since"

You just stare at the ghoul, he remembered that? He remembered how he first met you? When lydia locked you in the basement and he jumped out at you, successfully scaring you but earning himself a fist in the jaw, wow. Your face felt hot remembering that, what a frist impression.

The night droned on and on with dull questions the suit had lined up to prove beetlejuice was lying, but every question had an appropriate answer, and the skeleton knew he could not prove anything as the night went on.

Low on patience and time he decided call it quits.

The skeleton pushes his clipboard back into his jacket and sighs "I appreciate your time y/n, thank you for your cooperation, and Lawrence, I look forward form your departure of death, a short vacation from you is the pick me up I deserve" the skeleton raises up from your chair and walks over to a wall on the other side of the room, you watch him draw a door, and knock 3 times, you're livingroom wall opens up to the netherworld. You freeze at the sight, you always felt uneasy seeing the netherworld portal open up, maybe it was a living thing? As if beetlejuice felt your discomfort he pulls you into a side hug, grounding your anxiety, you give a sigh of what feels like relief.

The skeletontirns to face the two of you "Before my departure, y/n I do have one final thing to ask you, can you kiss Lawrence for me?"

"What?" You gawk in confusion

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "what? You the type of guy who gets off on watching others get hot and heavy, I mean I feel ya, but if you insist, I can help a guy out" beetlejuice is quick to cup your face "give daddy some sugar~" he purrs puckering up to go in for the kiss.

"Lawrence you misunderstand me, I ask y/n, if you two are truly betrothed, shy or not, y/n shouldnt have any issues kissing their lover" the skeleton gestures to you, without eyeballs or eyebrows he sure wore a smug face, as if he found you two out.

Beej snorts out his nose, great, he's fucked, theres no way you could sell this now, the ghoul had to take the lead and try to steer this away from what this bureaucrat wants "Shy or not, my little sex pot here isnt too keen on others watching, believe me, I tired, the only thing they wont do in the bedroom-"

"Bee, it's fine" you interject, gently grabbing the demons sleeve, he looks at you mouth agape, green slowly blossoming into pink in his face and hair.

"You mind leaning down honey?" You ask softly, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, yes beetlejuice has kissed you more times then you could remember, and yes, youd be lying if you didnt enjoy them, but taking the lead? That was new, and to have someone watching? Not to mention if you dont make this look good he's gonna take beetlejuice away.

Beetlejuice on the other was practically glowing pink, and vibrating with excitment, not to mention drooling.

You gently cup the demons face, running your thumbs across his stubble, you swore you could hear the demon purring, you take a deep breath through your nose before closing the gap between the two of you.

Beetlejuice's hands find homes for themselves, on in your hair, the other on the center of your back. Your hands move from the demon's face and bury themselves in his messy hair, gently giving his head a scratch, you squeak with surprise as the ghoul lifts you up from the ground, instinct kicks in nd you wrap you legs around his waist, lips still locked with his, you feel his tongue probing at you mouth, begging for your permission to enter, you oblige, his tongue wasnt new to you, you felt it a handful of times, running up the side of your face when the ghoul was trying to get your attention mostly, but in your mouth?

It was long, and big, and kind of cold, it easily took the lead, exploring your mouth.

You push on Beetlejuice's chest to notify him you needed to breath, the two of pull your lips part from each others, a thin line of saliva still connecting the two of you.

"Oh Lawrence" you sigh

The demon now completely electric pink, still holding you up growls before asking "couch?"

You hum out "yes"

Before the ghoul flops backwards on the couch, having you sit on top of him, you give his tie a quick yank and he groans in response.

"Oh doll, you're lucky you dont work tomorrow, cuz I want you to ride me all night~"

"Ahem!"

The two of you freeze for a moment, beetlejuice snickers at your face, clearly embarrassed, you pause for a moment, swallowing your shame before addressing the ghoul who was still here

"You're still here?" Was all you manged to breath out

"I mean I'm into it, but y/n? Not so much, and they clearly arent into you watching so" beetlejuice snorts, trying to wave the skeleton off so the demon could relax.

"I see, y/n you clearly are attracted to him, and understand all the consequences of marrying the dead, I declare that Lawrence B Shoggoth was, in fact, telling the truth, this should be a holiday, such a rare occasion" the skeleton trailed off as he walked into the netherworld, you only watched as he vanished and the walls of your little apartment rearranged themselves like it never happened.

You sat top beetlejuice for a moment, sighing over dodging the bullet of losing your, very dear friend, you may or may not be head over heels for.

You're reminded of where you were sitting with a familiar pinch on your butt.

"Hey honey~" the ghoul purrs

You jerk up at recalling the situation you're in, beetlejuice groans at you movement

"Careful sweets, keep moving like that and you'll turn this semi into a boner" he snorts out a chuckle.

You're quick to get off the demon, though he did grunt in protest, before sitting back up and pulling a couch cushion over his lap, despite how crude he was, he did have SOME common courtesy.

As much fun as it would have been for the demon to tease you on your rather hot actions, he noticed how your attention wasnt on him, rather then you were staring at the wall that was once the door to the netherworld.

"So we did it?" Was all you seemed to whisper

"Yup, I got to hand it to you babes, you did quite a good job fooling that stiff"

You turn back to the demon and give him a soft smile feeling completely relieved.

"You know it's funny y/n, you're a terrible liar, and you sure as hell cant act, you got way too many tells, but yet, I didnt see a single twitch nor did I hear a single stutter, why's that?~" you knew that tone oh too well, it was the 'I know something embarrassing about you' tone, it was smug yet made your legs turn to jelly.

"I guess when it comes down to really important stuff i guess i can-" you stammer while fiddling with the hem of your shirt

"I dont think so dolly" beej was quick to interrupt "babes, you've been wearing my jacket the whole time, I've seen you keep glancing down at the ring, and fuck me, the amount of fire in that kiss, someone like you cant fake that"

You refuse to look his way, this was one hell.of a way to come clean with your feelings, a heavy silence fills the room, though you're pretty sure beetlejuice could hear your heart pounding away.

As if the ghoul could sense your discomfort, he sighs "ya know babes, it's pretty late, and breathers need to sleep, so how bout you head back to bed and I'll finish grilling you in the morning"

Glancing back at beetlejuice you could see the flicks of purple appearing in the pink mess of his hair, you give the ghouls half hearted smile, as you go to take off the jacket he raising his hand motioning you to stop

"Its gonna be cold tonight babes, how bout you keep it warm for me?"

"Oh, alright, night Bee, glad I could help you" you wave off as you head to your bedroom to over think what just happened.

Beetlejuice groans when he hears the familiar sound of your bedroom door closing, he was so close to getting a real confession out of you, but tomorrow morning is gonna be pretty dangerous for you, he sighs removing the pillow from his lap, he had a more pressing matter to attend too, and with your taste on his tongue and the beautiful imagine of you on top of him yanking at his tie, this 'problem' wont take long to deal with.

Bonus

The next morning was quite awkward, beetlejuice wasnt kidding about grilling you in the morning, but at least what felt like an interrogation last night, now felt like childish teasing

"Bee, can I ask you something about last night?"

The ghoul beams with excitement at your question "anything you want babes"

"If we would have failed, what would have happened to you, you said you would have been dragged back to the netherworld and" you pause hoping the ghoul would fill in

"Oh, yeah, if we would have got caught I would have had to spend a week in the netherworld with my mother fixing this paperwork and just being chewed out, a nightmare babes, we dodged a bullet" he raises his hand for a high five as if to congratulate you on helping him out

"What, I'm sorry what"

Beetlejuice lowers his hand and frowns at your response

"Beetlejuice I was worried sick, I thought they were gonna take you away forever, i was terrified if i fuck up I'd never see you again, like what am i supposed to do without you?! I dont want you to leave me" you practically screamed

Beetlejuice only started at you, slowly soaking in what you said

'I dont want you to leave me'

His blank stare slowly shifts to a smile, flicks of pink appearing in his hair "dont worry sugar, you're stuck with me"

#beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader

319 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 1 year

Text

I am pretty badly burnt out. I miss being home. Don't get me wrong! I have had the best time, this has been such a beautiful trip. But man. I am so tired and still very worried about missing things or not taking advantage of something so I'm being just a little hard on myself.

We went to bed really early last night but the ship was moving so much that I was getting really nauseous. So I ended up watching a documentary and playing a puzzle game on my phone until like midnight. I was able to sleep for a while but I had a really bad dream that startled me at like 4am and falling back asleep was tough. James woke up too and made me feel a little better but it was still upsetting.

We woke up for real around 630. The ship was already docked! And so we got dressed and cozy and headed to breakfast.

I was a little foggy. Which matched the weather. It was rainy out and very grey. James ran back to the room to get our umbrella. Just in case. And we had breakfast and it was nice.

We would head out and got off the ship really easily. After that first day in Juneau there hasn't been any trouble. I think everyone realized it wasnt that deep. So we got off and we were at the pier.

This is the newest cruise dock in Alaska. And while that was neat, its not in walking distance of the downtown anymore. And so even though we had planned to go on a hike, we were a 2 hour walk away from the trail. So that wasn't going to work.

I felt a little stressed because we didn't have direction now. But I wanted to stay positive. We took the shuttle to town. And it took a while but it was fun seeing everything go by. We even got to see eagles!

When we got down town we walked down the piers. I was just a little upset with myself for being so tired and out of it. I liked seeing the totem poles and reading the signs. I loved being with James. But I was tired and a little directionless so I felt. Not myself.

We did find a musuem! A little one and it was great. I got really emotional reading about a dinosaur and seeing the pictures of children that were rescued from the dump. I spoke to the woman at the desk about how beautiful the displays were. I felt more settled.

I was filled with anxiety though. And so even though it was drizzling and 45 degrees I took my jackets off and had my bare arms out cause I was overheating.

James bought me a lime green moose plush. And I took pictures of the pretty flowers. We took pictures. I thought about actually fulfilling my plan to go to a thrift store but it didn't open until 10 and I decided to not follow through. I don't want to buy anything else. I was still a little on edge. But I had James with me and I was happy.

The trashcans were all decorated like canned salmon which I thought was so cute and I loved the boats. We saw more eagles. It was great but it was time to go back to the boat. I was emotionally done.

The port had a little maker mall. So I got a few more little things. Talked to a lumberjack who made a really cool display about the paper pulp company that was there. Took pictures with bear plushies. James got me a really neat hoodie that I love. I am nervous about having a white sweatshirt, but it's so cool. Going to be very cozy. And then we finally, finally found a pair of raven earrings for James! And they look so cute on them!! Precious.

We got back to the boat and it was storming and windy. And the boat would start rocking and just kept rocking. When we first got back we would get some stuff to go hang out in the observation lounge. I worked on drawing and had a soda. James made sure our shuttle to the airport is all good for Sunday. We watched the world.

We went to get lunch next. It wasn't as horribly busy, mostly because the all aboard hadn't been called yet. So we had lunch and it was pretty good. The desserts were fine, though the one just tasted like butter.

Eventually we went outside. We brought our blanket. And it was raining and cold but I was having fun. Played games on my phone. Listened to my podcast. Enjoyed sitting with James. And then the ship started to move. It was time to leave Alaska.

I feel really lucky and grateful that we got to do this. I absolutely loved Alaska. I loved the mountains. I love the water. This has just been so wonderful. I just feel so happy, it's hard not to get teary. I am just so lucky.

We would spend a lot of time outside just enjoying the water. It was cold and I didn't have my jacket, just my fleece. James wrapped me up in my blanket and we walked around to watch the back of the boat. No whales still but that's alright I still really enjoyed all the little islands and trees and birds. I am going to miss this.

I started getting to cold. So we went inside and went to the game room. We had better luck with the hunt a killer app but not enough service to actually watch everything. So we gave up and James did a cross word and I played my puzzle and watched the water.

The ship was rocking very very hard. We're moving pretty fast and the waves are large, probably from the storm. Which made me just a little dizzy. So after a while I requested we go back to the room for a while.

We hung out there for a while. Letting our phones charge. James was able to get the new Zelda on their switch so they were able to play that for a while. I watched videos. Eventually I got horrible pins and needles in my foot and had to get up. Yelling and comparing the whole time. But I would stretch and things would be good again.

I wanted to walk around. We would go and loop the deck in the rain. It was scary out there!! But we were being silly and having fun. We saw some of our friends and said hi. I found another duck!! We also hid one of mine. We poked around for a little bit soon went to dinner. I wasn't particularly hungry. But I got new foods. Corn bread and corn and some Indian food and some chickpeas in taziki. It was good. Mostly though we watched the storm.

It's like we're inside a big grey cloud. We can't see anything but the waves. It's eerie but strangely soothing.

We came to the observation deck after we finished trying some desserts. We were able to get two chairs right at the window next to a lovely couple. The one woman was embroidering a bird and I asked to see and it was so nice! We ended up talking about my projects and I showed them pictures of my coat and would show them my digital paintings. It was fun talking to them. But soon they would go and me and James would just sit here and I would draw and it was lovely.

I feel a lot better now. I started this post earlier in the day when I wasn't my best. But I feel more normal now. We will go back to the room soon and I will wash my hair and we will sleep.

Tomorrow is our last day in the cruise. We just got into Canadian water and we are stopping in Victoria but we decided we will probably stay on the boat. It doesn't come into port until 8pm because apparently it's maritime law that if you leave the us you have to stop in a foreign port. A little annoying we won't get to see the places we had planned but it's fine. We have a lot of life left and now we know these things are there. This trip gave us a lot of perspective in that way.

I hope you are all safe and warm. Goodnight everyone.

2 notes · View notes

holidaywishes · 4 years

Text

and now we’re here

Requested: 👍

Summary/Request: This one is a collab with @kayleafs221! We flash back with (Y/N) after Freddie left her and to her finding out she was pregnant

Author’s Note: We have a part three! I wasn’t going to do more than two but @kayleafs221 wants ✨drama✨ so we’re gonna see what we can conjure up together. We teamed up to see how much drama we could fit in so hopefully it fits the bill. @kayleafs221 also mentioned that she wanted to structure this sort of how New Moon was written so we went with it! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I’ve got one last chapter in me to make it all fluffy and bring these two back together! Stay Golden, loves! <3

masterlist

the other masterlist

It had already been a month. You kept telling yourself you shouldn’t be so devastated but he hadn’t called or even texted. You were alone. He had left you completely alone and he wasn’t coming back. You found yourself curled up in his large hoodie on the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time while your chest tightened with every sob and gasp you took as if he took your lungs with him; falling asleep clinging to the last piece you had of him.

Month 2

You had no choice. You had to throw yourself into work, it was all you could do. Even when you were home, your laptop was out. You let yourself be distracted in any way you could but even that was no use. You had been sick all week and your boss had made you stay home. You didn’t know what to do as you sat on your couch refusing to watch movies because they were all the same. Always a happy ending and the thought of love and sex made you sick, sick to your stomach. You were determined to do something productive, maybe going for a walk would make you feel better. A walk by the beach. It was just as you remembered it. Beautiful. Peaceful. Suddenly your mind was flooded.

“I’ve been traded to Toronto. I leave at 4am.” What bullshit was that? How could he leave so suddenly and not even be phased? Not have any remorse for any of it?

“Stay in touch Freddie.” You were so stupid to think that he would care enough to keep whatever this was going long distance. You had to face reality, that you didn’t mean anything to him. It came again, the dizziness, the shortness of breath. It couldn’t be stopped this time. There was only black. You woke up to the incessant sound of beeping, beeping, what was all that beeping? Your eyes were met with an uncomfortable brightness. This isn’t the beach, you thought to yourself, before rubbing your head, “What?” you started to say, confused as to how you ended up in a hospital bed

“Ah, Miss (Y/L/N) I see you are awake,” the nurse checking your vitals said, “I’ll get the doctor for you, I’m sure you have many questions.” Sitting yourself up, you watched her leave the room before finding the clock and realizing that it had been two hours since you went to the beach. You couldn’t believe you were unconscious for that long, this was crazy, “she’s still groggy” the nurse said, directing the doctor to your bedside

“That’s normal,” the doctor explained with a smile, “well, we’ve run some tests and you’re severely dehydrated”

“Dehydrated?” you asked, “I don’t un– I mean I haven’t been out of bed for a couple weeks but I’ve just been dealing with some things”

“Seven” he smiled, checking the paperwork in front of him casually

“Excuse me?” you replied, furrowing your brow

“Seven weeks,” he added, “my guess is that you haven’t been drinking a lot of water”

“I haven’t really been up for it” you cowered

“Well, please do,” the doctor said, “for your baby’s sake”

“I’m sorry what?” you exclaimed, “Baby?” you said, shaking your head

“Yes,” the doctor repeated, “you’re about seven weeks along. Give or take a couple days. All women handle their pregnancies differently, which might account for your drowsiness and any mood swings you may have been experiencing”

“I’m not pregnant” you scoffed, readjusting yourself in your bed

“You are” the doctor returned your scoff, seemingly annoyed at your behaviour

“I can’t be…”

“The results say otherwise”

“But I haven’t had sex, I haven’t left my bed in.. like two months”

“Which is about seven weeks”

“But I… I can’t be pregnant”

“Is there anyone we can call for you?”

“No… there’s no one” you lowered your eyes as the realization came over you.

Month 3

After you were released from the hospital, you tried to make the pregnancy easier on yourself by reading a million books and telling your parents what you needed or letting your mom tell you what she thought you needed

“You know what I think will really help?” she said, “telling the father…”

“Mom…” you whined

“He deserves to know, too.” She was right, of course, as all mom’s usually are so you agreed to reach out but you deleted his number when you convinced yourself it was better to forget about him, forcing you to search him out online; a huge mistake really. There were stories about girls who he’d slept with and left ‘in his wake,’ none of which you could be sure of their validity, but then you’d find pictures of him hanging out with Auston Matthews or William Nylander or any of the younger teammates in clubs and bars and you could only imagine that their behaviours spilled into his, so you let it go.

Month 9

“But what happens when that kid is born with red hair and freckles? Or when he’s a natural athlete?” your sister asked

“What do you mean?” you scoffed

“You can’t hide that,” she tried, tilting her head as she continued, hoping you’d get her point. “He’s gonna know. If there’s a picture, he’s gonna know. He’s not dense…”

“The kid probably won’t be a red head. So he’d never know..” you said knowing very well it could be a possibility. She huffed when she realized she wouldn’t get through your stubbornness. As time went on, you realized that there was no use denying it, Jackson was already excelling at every sport he tried. Knowing this, you kept him as far away from ice as possible. You knew it was wrong but you just couldn’t risk it, especially after so many of the Ducks already knew you. Whenever you thought about reaching out and telling him the truth, something was being said about him. He seemed to be a magnet for negativity.

“Possible Frederik Andersen injury a very troubling turn for Maple Leafs”

“Maple Leafs placing all their faith in Frederik Andersen”

“Andersen Said What Every Maple Leaf Fan Is Thinking”

“Maple Leafs goalie Frederik Andersen fined $2K for embellishment”

“Toronto Maple Leafs: Andersen has been a Disaster”

Every headline seemed to be worse than the last and you knew that if you were feeling stressed just reading them, then he was probably shutting himself away to hide from everyone after living with them. This was a normal thing for goalies to go through in the NHL but there was something about the way Toronto was treating Freddie that made you want to be there for him. But you couldn’t make a decision like that so easily anymore. It wasn’t just about you and your feelings anymore, you had your baby boy to think about and the older he got, the more you could see his personality grow and the more his personality grew, the happier he was; you couldn’t imagine taking that away from him. You couldn’t take that life away from him. But watching Freddie’s career hit highs and lows, noticing he was alone through most of it, your heart broke for him. You hoped that, somehow, your love would reach him. You hoped for his happiness even before your own. Even so, you would protect your son through everything, knowing that meant it might cost you the truest of love.

Toronto 2021

“Why did you lie to me?” Freddie said under his breath. You could tell he was angry and there was no getting away from this.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t lie. I told you I had a one night stand with some guy– why are we even talking about this again?” You tried your best to keep the story straight, hoping to appease him

“You lied about Jackson not being mine!” he started to shout

“I didn’t…” you stammered. There’s no way. He couldn’t know. You had made sure of it

“I did the math… I saw your post and I went back because something didn’t… add up…” he admitted, “and the math didn’t fit with some one night stand. That kid in there, who looked an awful lot like me as a kid, he’s mine. And you lied about it. You kept it from me, kept HIM from me!”

“HE’S MY SON!” you cried. Everything was falling apart and you weren’t sure what to do anymore. There was no getting around this, you had to let out what you’d been holding in from that night, “and you left me! YOU LEFT US!”

“BUT HE’S MY SON TOO!” he countered and you furrowed your brow, shaking your head as you tried to think of what to say next.

“I made a choice, Freddie. I looked at how quickly our life together changed and I… made a choice. I couldn’t put a child through all of that. Moving at the drop of a hat, having to say goodbye to friends and homes and cities whenever your job called for it… You never looked back, you never reached out. After two months of waiting, I woke up alone in a hospital and you didn’t even care to call. So I did this. I HAD TO” you confessed, sorrow filling your eyes as you watched his face soften. “So yeah, I lied. But I didn’t lie to hurt you. I lied to protect him. No matter what. I make no apologies for that.”

“How was I supposed to know that you were in the hospital?”

“It doesn’t matter, Freddie,” you sighed, “the point is, you left and I was alone and I couldn’t wait for you.”

“So what now?”

“I don’t know,” you started. “If this had happened before you got traded, our life would’ve been so different. I pictured it, you know,” you smiled, “our life. With Jackson. We looked so happy in my daydreams”

“We could be happy like that,” he whispered, moving close to you, “in real life”

“I can’t change his life for you”

“I don’t want you to change his life,” he smiled, closing the gap between the two of you and you felt your heartbeat in your head, making it hard to think straight, “I just want to be part of it...”

“He doesn’t know who you are” you said through bated breath

“Let’s tell him then” he exclaimed

“No,” you insisted, putting your hands on his forearms, “if we’re going to do this, we have to take it slow”

“Slow?” he asked, leaning down to your ear, “how slow?”

“I just don’t want him to feel overwhelmed,” you replied, your hands drifting up his arms, “just... start by introducing yourself to him... We’ll have lunch”

“I can do that” he smirked, pushing your hair back before laying a kiss to the exposed skin of your collarbone

“You have to be patient”

“I can do that” he repeated as a moan left your mouth

“I don’t know if you can” you chuckled, finally pushing him away from you

“I can”

“I’m serious”

“So am I!” he laughed, placing his hands on your hips to stop you from turning around, “he’s my son and I will do anything to get to know him”

“He can’t know you’re his dad yet,” you said again, “I know it seems weird but, please, just don’t fight me on this”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it”

“Good” you joked, cocking your eyebrow before he smiled at you. That smile always broke you, always made your heart louder than your head, and, right now, you were more than happy to listen to it. He met you in the middle, pressing a kiss to your lips before his hands pushed your body into his and suddenly, it all felt so perfect. Like no time had passed. He was yours again and you were determined to keep it that way.

#Frederik Andersen #Frederik Andersen fic #Frederik Andersen imagine #freddie andersen #Freddie Andersen fic #Freddie Andersen imagine #Frederik Andersen request #Freddie Andersen request #Frederik Andersen angst #Freddie Andersen angst #masterlist #the other masterlist #nhl #hockey #tml

86 notes · View notes

seaweedbrain404 · 4 years

Text

Wolfstar Au: Questions and Confessions (pt 3 of Parties and Morning Regrets)

tw: panic attack

pt 2

pt4

read it on ao3

obligatory tag for @icitlali as you’re pretty much the main reason this fic turned into a series, i hope you enjoy it!

When Remus woke up again, hours later, he noticed three things. 1) there was a blanket over him, 2) Lily was home, he could hear her singing along to music in the kitchen and 3) Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

Just as well, Remus thought as he got up. He felt and heard all of his joints clicking and cracking while he stretched. He wrapped the blanket tightly around himself and waddled into the kitchen.

“Hi” He whispered, despite not having to.

Lily spun around, catching him in a hug. “Feeling better?” she asked, pressing her face against his chest.

“Yeah, sleep is good” Remus nodded as they let go, and Lily went back to cooking.

“I’m making dinner, you were asleep for ages”

“Figured, I’m starved”

“I slept with James”

“James?” The name vaguely rang a bell in Remus’ head but it’s not like he knew a lot of people called James.

“Potter- James Potter, remember?” Lily chewed her bottom lip, “from school?”

“Oh”

James Potter had been best friends with Sirius Black and that was probably the only way Remus knew him. There was also the fact that he had chased after Lily for most of their school days. Most people thought he was a rich, spoiled and arrogant boy but Remus found he never really saw him like that. From their limited interactions, Remus thought James was actually a quite pleasant person, a little big-headed but all round a good bloke.

“Yeah”

“And?” Remus waved his hands around, nearly letting the blanket fall to his feet.

“And… we may have exchanged numbers”

“Lily!”

“What?!”

“You always said you hated him!”

“Well I did… but, he got really fit” Lily admitted, pink dusting her cheeks.

“Fit? you slept with him cause he got fit?”

“Kind of- I mean, we talked at the party and he told me about his work and Remus, he’s a human rights lawyer”

This was an interesting piece of information. Remus didn’t know that James was also a lawyer but he did remember Sirius mentioning something about him the night of the party. Did this mean that maybe Remus was wrong? Maybe Sirius wasn’t working for his father anymore and he was in New York to team up with James. It was unlikely though since he specifically remembered his brain latching onto Sirius saying something along the lines of him doing business for his father. There was always the possibility of Sirius lying. However, Remus felt that was unlikely too. Sirius wasn’t much of a liar unless he had to.

He must’ve been quiet for too long because Lily nudged him gently. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah” Remus nodded, “just thinking”

“Bad thinking or good thinking”

Remus shrugged. “Just… thinking”

“Does it have anything to do with you definitely sleeping with your gorgeous ex-boyfriend the other night?”

Remus’ face reddened and he pulled the blanket tighter around himself as if it could shield him from all his problems and worries.

“Ha! I knew it” Lily was practically jumping up and down. “He left his phone number”

Remus groaned. “Throw it away”

“What?”

“Bin it, burn it, I don’t care”

“Remus, you can’t just cut off anyone who makes you feel things” Lily sighed.

“I don’t do that” Lie. He did it all the time.

“Yes you do… remember when you dated Anna? or Frank? or Sam?”

Remus shrugged and made a vague noise. He didn’t like where this was going but Lily carried on.

“You pushed them away as soon as it got too real, as soon as it got serious”

“Well, I just didn’t want to settle down with them”

“And why’s that, my friend?”

“I don’t know… they weren’t right” Remus shrugged again, “who are you? my therapist?”

“I’m your friend, idiot” Lily lightly hit his arm, smiling despite fully reading Remus like today’s paper. “I just think we both know it’s because they weren’t Sirius”

Remus had nothing to say to that. “Just… bin the number, I don’t want to talk to him”

Lily sighed, exasperated. “You don’t have to talk to him but I’m not throwing out his number, just in case”

“I’m not going to call him” He replied, leaning his chin on her shoulder.

“I know, you’re too set on making yourself miserable”

“That’s not true”

“Oh sure”

“I don’t even like him”

“I saw the way he looked at you, clearly he still cares a lot about you and…” she paused, kissing Remus’ forehead before reaching for two plates. “you do too or else you wouldn’t have invited him up earlier”

“I just didn’t want to leave him out in the cold” That’s all there was to it, Remus had told himself earlier. He was tired and leaving Sirius outside, alone in the cold, in a city he probably wasn’t familiar with just seemed like the wrong thing to do.

“Sounds like caring to me” Lily replied in a sing-songy voice.

Remus resorted to sticking his tongue out instead of formulating a response.

Lily passed him a plate filled with pasta and the two brought their food to the sitting room. “Who’s manning the bakery?” Remus asked, suddenly realising that neither one of them had gone to work.

“Marlene and Dorcas, I went in to check when I was picking up Mrs Pettigrew’s shopping” Lily paused for a forkful of pasta before continuing. “She was asking about you”

“Why me?”

“Dunno, she likes you”

Remus raised his eyebrow, changing the channel and ending up on an episode of Doctor Who.

“Yeah, I don’t know why but she said you should drop by soon” Lily added.

“Mmm, I might later”

The two finished their dinner in a comfortable silence, occasionally commenting on what the current Doctor was getting up to. After dinner, Lily showered and Remus finally got the chance to take that bath he had wanted nearly all day. He bid Lily an early goodnight afterwards, seeing as he was up for the morning shift the next day.

Remus didn’t mind working at the bakery, it meant he never had to walk far to get to work or to get home. He wasn’t passionate about it like Lily was though which meant for him, waking up at the arse crack of dawn wasn’t worth it. Still, he got up, feeling a billion times better than the day before, and got dressed. It was 4am when he got there and the only other person with him was Mary McDonald.

Mary was a good friend of Lily’s and just as passionate about making the best baked goods as she was. Their entire staff consisted of five people, usually there were two people there from 4 am up until 4 pm (despite it opening hours being 8am to 3 pm). During busier hours, another person came in from 11 am to 2 pm. It was a small business but it was open every day and sold everything from custom order cakes to bread, rolls and just nearly every other baked good under the sun. Lily was a fair boss and no one had to be in work for 4 am two days in a row since the bakery was so small, they didn’t need more than three people there at the one time. Usually they got by with just the two.

“Morning” Mary rubbed her eyes, turning on the radio when Remus walked in.

“ ‘Ello” He saluted, getting ready to sanitise the kitchen and get the dough prepared for all the baked goods they would be selling that day.

Remus liked working with Mary. She was quiet enough and most of the time the two got to enjoy listening to the radio, singing along to songs or commenting on the news as they worked. He hadn’t even thought about Sirius since the night before and all was going great.

That was until the clock hit 2:15. That was when Remus was working the till and that was when Sirius waltzed into the small establishment. Remus knew it wasn’t a coincidence because Lily’s bakery was small and very very local. There was no way Sirius had just so happened to wander in off the street.

To Remus’ dismay, after Sirius bought an eclair and a cup of coffee, he didn’t leave. Sirius didn’t leave even when he had finished, instead stuck around and ordered another coffee. Who drinks so much coffee, thought Remus, feeling more and more annoyed the more time Sirius spent not leaving. Eventually, it was time for Remus’ break and Mary took over the till.

Remus went out the back, into the alleyway for a cig and a yogurt. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to enjoy much of his lunch break by himself because after he had eaten, and lit the cigarette, someone he didn’t want to see appeared in his line of vision.

“You haven’t called”

Straight to the point then, Remus thought, taking an extra long drag of the cig. “No”

“Why not?” Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight between his two feet.

“Why is it that you always get to be the one asking questions and pointing out how much I’ve changed?” Remus countered, putting the cigarette out on the ashy tray on the windowsill.

Sirius didn’t say anything so Remus straightened and took a step forward with his hands tucked under his arms, to keep the cold off. The fingerless gloves weren’t much help. “How come you’re New York? Why are you still working for your father’s bloody firm? And why are you so quiet and subdued?”

While all of this was spilling out of Remus, he suddenly found himself right up in Sirius’ face with his breath ghosting his lips. Sirius didn’t back down though as steel grey met blazing amber.

“You never asked” He replied simply.

“Because you never gave me the chance to!” Remus took a step back and one forward again. “I did now so… go on, out with it”

“My father recently branched out to America, New York to be specific and I…. I wanted- no, I needed to get away” Sirius spat out. “I needed to get away from my parents because I had enough of them and everything they stood for and… and I finally stopped being so afraid of them!”

“So why did you go after me then?”

“I didn’t go after you”

“You talked to me at the party and then you showed up at my workplace” Remus reasoned, “I’m so sorry that I misread the fucking signs!”

“You’re the one that invited me up to the flat!”

“Yes, because it was cold out and I didn’t want to be that guy who left someone in a new city out in the freezing fucking cold”

“Really? because you didn’t have a problem making jabs at me and being a cruel bastard”

“Oh I’m the bastard, sure”

“That’s not fair and you know it!”

“Well life isn’t fair either and you don’t get to decide what’s fair and what’s not, so how about you fuck off Sirius”

“No” came Sirius’ sharp reply.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said no” Sirius’ voice was shaking and Remus hated himself for wanting to comfort him. “No because I’m still in love with you even though you clearly don’t want me to be because you’re acting like a condescending asshole 90% of the time and the other 10 you remind me of the guy I fell for in Year 7”

Remus felt winded. Year 7?? “You- you can’t just drop that on me….” He trailed off, staggering backwards. “I need get back to work”

He turned on his heel and ran a hand through his hair. Sirius said something, shouted Remus’ name maybe but his voice sounded distant and fogged. Somehow he stumbled back into the bakery to see Mary look at him with worried eyes.

“Remus?”

Her voice was distant too and the room was too warm. His lungs wouldn’t fill properly and his head spun. He felt like he was going to pass out and he would’ve literally hit the ground if Mary hadn’t caught him.

She put him in a chair against the wall and grabbed a bottle of water, fusing over him and saying things Remus wasn’t hearing because the sound of his heart racing was far too loud. Yep, this is how I die, he thought, leaning back in the chair and letting his head hit the wall.

Suddenly Mary appeared in front of him again, he could only tell by the hands on his shoulders as his eyes were closed. “Remus? Remus, deep breaths love” when Remus was unresponsive she tried again. “Remus breathe in, 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. and hold the breath 2... 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. and out again, 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8…”

This time Remus followed Mary’s lead. They did the breathing exercise a couple more times before Remus felt stable enough to open his eyes again. “What happened?”

“Listen I-“ Remus cut himself off because what did happen. “Thank you, I don’t really- can we not talk about it?”

Mary was kind, there was no denying that. She nodded, despite looking concerned. “Of course, yeah, whatever makes you comfortable”

Mary insisted that Remus stay in the back for the rest of the day and he was happy enough not having to man the till. Sirius had completely disappeared and Remus was too tired to do anything about it. At 3pm, Mary locked up and they set about preparing ingredients and products for the next day, freezing selected stock and cleaning the kitchen.

By the time they had finished Mary was still concerned. “Hey, are you alright now?”

“Mmm, yeah, I’m good” Remus would’ve preferred to face Sirius again and risk another panic attack rather than have to talk to Mary about what happened earlier.

Mary gave him a tight smile and put a hand on his arm. “Mind yourself, yeah?” she gave his arm a light squeeze before the two went their separate ways.

#marauders #marauders fic #marauders au #modern marauders #hp marauders #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar angst #wolfstar fic #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #wolfstar au #lily evans #background jily #mary mcdonald

29 notes · View notes

ughitsnic · 4 years

Text

Remember when: Chris Evans

Over 2k words... which a hell of a lot for me. i dont really know what i was doing with this one but i had fun writing it. angst? yeah kinda

It was never Chris' fault, he was so caring and full of love but that was just who he was. It was that you were in a relationship that felt forced and that was moving way too fast and way too public for both of your liking. It was tough on you where as before you would happily go places together, baseball games, go out for food get a drink, walk the dogs. But now? Everyone was watching over analyzing the headlines were ridiculous people conspiring about an inevitable break up because you both looked stressed.

"Hey" you sigh, putting the groceries down on kitchen island and kicking off your shoes. "Im home!" No answer. You take your time unpacking and putting everything away neatly in the fridge. You shut the door and look at the polaroid picture stuck on by a mickey mouse fridge magnet. A picture of you and Chris from when you were younger at disney in front of the epcot ball, vanilla ice cream allover your faces. You smile, you couldn't remember much from the trip because you were both only 8 but you did remember telling each other you were going to be best friends forever.

"Did you get stuff for waffles?" Chris questions, walking in only in his gray sweatpants.

"Yep, I got whipped cream, strawberries, blueberries and chocolate syrup" you tell him, putting the picture back up.

"God I love you" he mumbles, kissing your cheek and getting a bottle of water out the fridge.

"Do you remember this?" You question.

"I remember you crying on the tower of terror"

"No i didn't” you say defensively”

“Yes you did, you didn't stop crying for like half an hour!” he laughs

“At least i didn't piss my pants!" You fire back, laughing.

"Hey! I didn't piss my pants" he groans.

"Yes you did!"

"No it was a tiny bit" he stresses.

"So you pissed"

"Y/N stop" he laughs. "I'm still embarrassed" his cheeks pink.

"Shut up pissypants" you giggle

"Y/n!" he drags out, pouting.

"What are you gonna do tell your mum?" You question.

"I might" he shrugs, finishing his water.

"Oh please do" you laugh.

"Stop i was like 5"

"We were 8!"

"So! You know what" he points trying to hold back his laughter. "I didn't forget when we had that sleepover and you had that sex dream about Jackson and you woke me up sleep talking" your cheeks burn.

"Oh my god shut up" you cover your face.

"Oooo Jackson" he says in a high pitch voice.

"It wasn't a sex dream" you stress. "Fine. Remember when..." you trail off, you lock eyes, both widening knowing you're thinking of the same thing.

"Dont!"

"When you had sex with Jessica and you only lasted 20 seconds!"

"We both know that isn't the case anymore" he winks trying to play it cool but you can read him like a book and the pained expression on his face let you know that he was dying on the inside, thinking back.

"How old were you again?" You tease

"Baby, stop it" he begs.

"Okay, i'll stop" you stomach hurt from laughing so much. "I wonder if Jessica remembers?" You ponder walking over to give him a hug and to tease him even more.

"You're the worst" he mumbles against your hair letting out a little laugh.

"I heard she has kids now, so does Jackson," he says quietly. You press your lips together pulling away.

"I think i'm going to go take a shower before you make those waffles" you say quietly, the entire mood shifting. He just nods. That was the thing it was great, brilliant even, when you joked around and just hung out until actual relationship stuff came up, like the subject of kids. The plan was always for yours and Chris's kids to be best friends just like you two were because both of your moms were. The plan never was to have kids together, the plan was never to start dating in the first place.

"Can I join you?" Chris questions snapping you back to reality. You really had no clue if Chris felt the same about this whole thing.

"Another time?"

"I promise I'll last longer than 30 seconds" he smiles.

"Who said anything about that?" You question biting back a smile. You could never say no. He was just mind blowing in bed, on the couch, on and against the counter top, in the back seat of the car, the shower was no exception. In fact this entire thing started because you both decided, wine drunk, that you should sleep together. You were both fresh out of relationships, both sad and horny. And when people saw you leaving the guest room they assumed you were secretly together, so you both decided to give it a try. You were just 'testing the waters' and to start with it was perfect for everything you could want but now? You just wanted your best friend but if you did break up would there be a friendship?

“Are you being serious right now Chris?” you were so angry.

“What?” he questions confused. Is he being for real?

“In that interview you said you were hoping to have kids in the near future!”

“Whats the issue, we’ve been together for over a year y/n, we aren’t getting any younger!” he stresses. “I do want kids, and you want kids but what is your problem? Is it me?” he questions, he looked heart broken. “Why don’t you want a family with me?”

“I’m just not ready yet Chris, i don’t want to rush things” you lie… well was it a lie? You wanted to wait and see if this was even going to work out.

"I’ve known you all your life i know when you're lying! Do you know how embarrassing it is when there's pictures of your girlfriend ducking out the way so i don’t kiss you? Its fucking embarrassing y/n you need to figure out what you want from me because i’m starting to think we both have very different priorities!" Chris shouts, you reach for his arm as he tries to leave. "Just give me some space"

At night you lay on opposite ends of the bed despite both of you being cuddlers.

"Whats on your mind?" You question, watching him chew at his lip.

"Nothing just tired" he lies.

"I know when you're lying" you sit up.

"And i know when you’re lying" he snaps. "I’m sorry" he quickly apologizes before wiping his eyes. "I’m sorry that i don’t make you happy" his voice was unsteady.

"You do make me happy" you crawl across the bed and pull him into a tight embrace, his head resting on your shoulder.

"You can be honest with me" he mumbles, running his fingers through your hair. "I see you pull your hand away when i go to hold it, i see how you cringe when i call you baby" he sounded heart broken.

"Chris" you whisper, your own heart breaking because you knew exactly where this was going.

"No don’t lie, i know you hate that we cant go anywhere with out people taking pictures and over analyzing everything we do. I see how you dodge the subject of babies and i know you want one" he sighs. "But not with me and that’s okay... I’m sorry but i don’t think i can do this anymore. I love you y/n i really do but i’m not in love with you" he lifts his head up to look at you, his eyes already red and puffy

"I-I don’t want to lose you" Your eyes sting and he just sighs, you felt as though you couldn’t breath. Even though you knew this would be the outcome it didnt hurt any less.

"You wont" he assures.

"What? Are we just going to look back in 10 years and be like wow remember the time you ate my coochie for like an hour and we pretended to love each other" you try to lighten the mood despite the heavy flow of tears from the both of you.

"You really do have a way with words y/n, but exactly" he forces a smile, despite his cheeks being stained with fresh tears. "Or remember the time when i lasted way long than 30 seconds" you let out a shaky laugh.

"I cant believe you’re breaking up with me" you mumble.

"If you want, you can break up with me?" He questions

"Remember the time i dumped your ass?"

"I do i cried like a baby just like you did when we watched marley and me for the first time" he reminisces

"Hey" you nudge his shoulder playfully. "You cried at that movie too"

"I did" he frowns. "Its a sad movie"

"I know bub. But what do we do now?"

"I don’t know. Do you want to spend some time apart?" He asks and you shrug. Usually after a break up you would find your self at Chris's house for a week or to or vice versa.

"I- I just broke up with a really amazing guy and i really need my best friend right now" you start to cry all over again. "Because i don’t want to lose him"

"You’ll never lose me" Chris whispers, now holding you in his arms rubbing circles on your back. "I love you"

"Ouch too soon" you joke wiping your tears again.

"I love you, platonically" he corrects. "Now? Do you want to watch back to the future or lion king?" Both of them were yours and Chris’s go to films when growing up. "I’m going to go get us some snacks"

"Its 2 am" you remind him.

"So? It will be like old times" he smiles. "Only this time my dad wont come in and shout at us for talking too loud"

"Remember when we were playing on the playstation at like 4am and your dad came in and split us up so we would actually sleep"

"Yeah" he smiles, his eyes bright. "I had to sleep on the couch and you got my bed but you come and got on the other couch so you weren’t alone because you were scared of the dark"

"It wasn’t me who was scared of the dark it was you"

"Maybe was both of us... maybe it was me" he laughs.

"I cant wait to tell everyone i dumped captain america" you laugh.

Whilst it wasn’t what you wanted you both took a step back from each other you moved out and got an apartment the other end of town and hardly ever saw Chris because he was always filming but you still got to see dodger all of the time, watching him when his family couldn’t. Sometimes you’re relationship gets brought up in interviews and he just smiles and shrugs.

"People say marrying or even just dating your best friend is the best thing you could do, but when you've been best friends since you were born it doesn’t really work. Its like we dated because we owed it to our self and our families to see if we would work out. We didn’t. That’s okay and thankfully we are still friends. Maybe its not actually mutual and that i’m just harassing her and y/n is too nice to tell me to tell me to leave her alone. please hang out with me y/n lets go get food, come watch a movie" he jokes. "No" he shrugs. "We are still best friends"

You were sat in the passenger seat of Chris’s car as he speeds down the road, the radio blaring.

"If you don’t stop with this crazy driving you’re going to send me into labor a month early" you tell him.

"That’s the plan i cant wait to meet my niece" he smiles stopping at a red light, he reaches over and rests his hand on your large bump. You groan as she starts to kick, it was something about Chris's voice she loved.

"She better not replace me" you joke.

"I guess you can come to our movie nights" he smiles. You were currently on your way to a restaurant out of town, you were craving the food and your fiance Matthew was at work so Chris offered to take you. Your laughter dies down and you just listen to the radio. Moral of the story playing, you could help but laugh to you self quietly looking over at Chris who was in deep thought. Was he thinking the same thing as you? Or did this some almost perfectly describe those 18 months you were together?

(btw my requests are open so feel free to send anything in)

#chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans one shot #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst

104 notes · View notes

wordsfromthesol · 5 years

Text

Coffee is Life

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Tim Drake x Reader Warnings: Sleep deprivation, did I curse in this? I honestly can’t remember… Word Count: 1.2k Requested: @robin-obsessed

The perils of working at a 24-hour coffee shop was all the unique characters that came in during the dead of the night. You could always tell those working night shift, who were just getting up, from those who decided to stay up all night. You still didn’t understand why the latter thought that coffee would help. At this point you were pretty sure it was just a placebo.

4am strolled around, and thankfully you only had 2 hours left of your 8-hour shift. At least that’s the thought running through your mind when this costumed character strolled into the shop. You shouldn’t be surprised, Gotham was known for its vigilantes. You were more surprised that one of them hadn’t graced your presence until now. You recognized the costume as the infamous Red Robin.

Of course it had to be him. “Hi, welcome to The Night Cup.” You expected him to say something. But after several seconds of pained silence, you decided to continue. “Can I get you a cup of coffee? A shot of espresso?”

“Right. Coffee. The only thing consistently running through my veins…you wouldn’t happen to just have an IV drip with coffee, would you?”

Even behind the mask, you could tell his eyes were hopeful, yet awaiting disappointment.

“Sorry Red…Robin…Mr. Red Robin? Uhm, no we don’t.”

“Ugh, okay. How many shots of espresso am I allowed to order?”

“Well, 6 shots fit in our medium cup…but I really –”

He cut you off, “Perfect. Six shots of espresso.”

“Okay…would you like any milk or flavoring or sugar?”

“No.”

“Red…Red..Robin…uhm…sir?”

“UGH, it’s Tim!”

“Okay well, I’m not going to call you that. I really can’t recommend six espresso shots as a drink. Especially to someone who just divulged their secret identity to an unknown barista.”

“I just can’t figure this case out, and then it was my turn for patrol. Well,” Tim chuckled to himself, “thank god that’s over. But now I need to get back to this case. Which means I need to be awake. Which means I need coffee.”

You slowly rounded the counter and lightly tugged at his elbow. “Right. Well, I’m going to take you to our VIP espresso lounge while you wait. Is that okay…” You looked around, thankfully no one else was in the shop. You looked up at the masked man, still not moving. “Tim? Is that okay?”

He seemed to come out of his trance upon hearing his true name. “Yeah yeah, that would be great.”

You brought him into the employee lounge, which was really just a couch and a coffee table, and sat him down. Thank god Chrissy left early today. You thought, realizing your relief wouldn’t be in for at least another hour.

“Just lay here and I’ll have it ready in a minute.” You guided him to the couch and walked back to the bar. There was absolutely no way you were giving this man 6 espresso shots.

Fifteen minutes had passed, and not only did you have no customers, but you hadn’t heard anything from the vigilante in the back. Quietly, you stalked into the back room and found him passed out on the couch. Thank god. Alright, I have about an hour before Chris gets here. What on earth am I supposed to do with him. Before you actually developed a plan, the hour had come and gone and Chris walked through the front door.

“Y/N! Anything interesting happen tonight?”

“Oh, Chris. Is it time for your shift already?”

“Yeah, 5am rolls around real quick, doesn’t it?”

“I guess so. Listen, we’ve been absolutely dead here. I’ve stocked up everything, made backups, cleaned the floor…do you mind if I just take off?”

“Go for it, the summers are always slow.”

“Thanks Chris, I’m just going to go out the back!” You could tell you were acting weird, but you just couldn’t help it. Red Robin…THE Red Robin was sleeping on the couch in the breakroom, and you had put him there.

You crept into the lounge and kneeled by the couch, whispering, “Tim? I need you to help me. I just need you to walk for about 30 seconds.” His mumbles were inaudible, but slowly he emerged from the couch, albeit it leaning most of his body weight on you. Thank god I live on the first floor. The drive to your apartment was utterly silent. In fact, you couldn’t believe what you were doing. Could this be considered kidnapping? Your thoughts were interrupted by his mumbling.

“Wayne…Manor…Manor…take…Manor.”

“Alright, I am not showing up to one of the richest men in the world’s doorsteps with a passed out vigilante in my arms. Sorry Timmy, you’ll have to spend the night at mine and work on your case in the morning.”

Tim woke up dazed and confused several hours later. He was still in his red robin costume, and he was in an unfamiliar place. But strangely this place was not a prison of any kind. In fact, he was left unrestricted on a comfortable bed. He threw his legs over the side, trying to recollect the events of last night.

“Coffee shop” he mumbled as he trapezed around the room, that was until he saw your sleeping form on the floor hugging a stuffed animal. Realization struck him, the barista. You were the barista. Before he could move again, your eyes flashed open.

“Oh, uhm…sorry” was all your groggy and sleep deprived voice could manage.

“No. I’m sorry. Thanks.”

You woke up several hours later, still on the floor. What the fuck. You stood up and saw a note carefully laid on the bed.

Thanks for the sleep. Please don’t tell anyone my real name.

“That really happened” you whispered to yourself.

You went about your day and prepared for your next shift at The Night Cup. What you didn’t prepare for is seeing Red Robin enter the shop once again. Thankfully, this time, he was much less sleep deprived.

“Y/N,” he states as he approached the counter. “I thought I should thank you in person.”

“Oh, Red Robin,” you glanced around at the other people in the shop. “It was no problem.”

“Perhaps it’s time you take a break”

“Yeah, yeah I think it is” You motioned to Chrissy to let her know as you walked back into the break room, where Tim was waiting for you.

“Anyways, I wanted to thank you. Sometimes I can go a bit too far. It’s just when I don’t know an answer people get hurt. I’d rather myself struggle than others.”

“I understand,” you sucked your lips inwards, debating whether or not to speak. “It’s just, if you took care of yourself you would actually end up solving it faster. With a clear mind you can better seen patterns and correlations…” You trailed off realizing you sounded ridiculous.

“Yeah,” Tim chuckled, “I’ve been told that a time or two. Anyways, I wanted to thank you.” He handed you a card, “Call this number if you’re ever in trouble.” He began to leave but turned back towards you, “Or if you get bored on the night shift.”

306 notes · View notes

all-things-skam · 4 years

Text

Jens’ season | Chapter ten (finale)

Saturday, March 7th

They arrived late in Utrecht. Or, early.

Lucas’ father had refused to make the drive but allowed him to go and take the train if he wanted to. Jens get that they were divorced, but still. She was his ex-wife, the mother of his child. She must still have a place in his heart.

Apparently not.

Lucas had been fidgety and tense during the whole train ride, biting his lip and checking his phone every ten seconds in case there were any updates from his dad - who was in contact with the clinic -, but there weren’t.

Jens felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do or even say, having never been in this situation before. A part of him wanted to comfort Lucas, tell him everything’s going to be okay, but he wasn’t a psychiatrist nor a doctor. He didn’t know shit.

So, he stayed quiet, his head pressed against the cold window of the train, his right hand holding onto Lucas’ tightly.

When they got to the train station, someone was there to pick them up. He had blond hair and a darker beard, and seemed older than them. An old friend, Lucas said. He dropped the two teenagers at the clinic and told Lucas to call him if he needed a ride before driving off.

The door of the clinic was unlocked despite being the middle of the night. They walked in and the lady at the front desk frowned, seeing Jens and Lucas walking into the building. ‘’Hello. How may I help you?’’

‘’My...my mom’s been admitted here a few hours ago,’’ Lucas replied, his voice strained. ‘’I’m here to see her.’’

‘’I’m sorry, visits have ended hours ago. You should come back in the morning-’’

Alas, Lucas wasn’t taking no for answer tonight. He was scared and worried for his mother and wouldn’t calm down until he sees her.

‘’No! I took a train all the way here. I have to see her,’’ he insisted, hoping the woman will make an exception for him. ‘’She needs me, I- Please.’’

Still hesitating, the desk lady glanced at them, noticing the tired look on their faces and the backpack on Lucas’ shoulder and sighed, giving in. ‘’Patient name?’’

‘’Lieke Van Der Heijden.’’

She typed in the name in her computer, giving Lucas an apologetic look when reading his mother’s file. ‘’I can’t let you go in the room past visiting hours. But, I’ll call up the psychiatrist on shift and he’ll be able to give you details about your mother.’’

You could see on Lucas’ face that he wasn’t completely satisfied with the bargain, but it was better than nothing.

Jens smiled at the woman. ‘’Thank you.’’

Jens didn’t go in.

He waited on a couch in the waiting area of the clinic while Lucas went to talk with the doctor, not wanting to intrude Mrs. Van Der Heijden’s privacy. While Lucas wanted him by his side at the clinic, it didn’t mean Jens had to be all up in their businesses. And, if Lucas needed him, he’ll come to him.

Having nothing else to do, Jens checked his phone, seeing the group chat blowing up with unread messages and a few personal ones from Robbe, asking what was going on and where the hell he and Lucas went.

Did you guy ditch us to fuck? Moyo had bluntly asked.

In another situation, Jens would’ve rolled his eyes and laughed - maybe he would’ve told him to fuck off -, but not tonight. Instead, he he simply told them that Lucas had a family emergency and had to go home - sparing them the whole details for privacy purpose.

Half an hour later, Lucas returned and filled the empty seat beside Jens. His hair was a mess from touching them so much - a habit he picked up when he was stressed or anxious. Jens slipped his phone back in his pocket, giving his attention to his boyfriend.

''How is she?''

''Sedated,'' Lucas responded, forgetting to laugh at his own bad joke. ''Sorry.''

Jens shook his head. ''It's okay.''

‘’A neighbor called the cops. They said she was acting like a lunatic, throwing out my father's last belongings on her porch since 6am and was planning to redecorate the whole house to 'clean it from his bad energy'. The doctor said it was a psychotic episode. She hasn't been taking her meds for a few weeks.’’

Lucas's parents' divorce was messy and heartbreaking. She truly loved Lucas' father - he was her high school lover -, but the man didn't want anything to do with her after being diagnosed although he had vowed to love her in sickness and health.

‘’I don't understand. She sounded very lucid last week on the phone. I should’ve gone home-’’

Shaking his head, Jens didn’t let him finish. ‘’Don’t do that. Don’t guilt yourself for something you can’t change. You’re here, now. It’s all that matters.’’

‘’If I had been here, I could’ve made sure she was taking her medication. I always do. Sometimes, she forget...and other times, she doesn’t want to take them. When she’s off her medication for too long, things gets bad and she has psychotic episodes. Dad and I tried to have someone from the clinic to come and check up on her, but it’s really expensive and we can’t afford that. That’s what he said. Maybe he doesn't want to pay for her, I don’t know.’’

It was simply an assumption, but Jens hoped it wasn't true. If so, Mr. Van der Heijden was a very shitty person.

Feeling a wave of tiredness hit him, Jens glanced at the clock in the waiting room and then to Lucas who's head was resting on his shoulder, trying to control his anxious riddled brain.

‘’It’s late. Should we head...home? You need sleep.’’

Lucas shook his head stubbornly. ‘’No. I need to stay here. I need to be there when my mom will wake up.’’

''The clinic had made an exception for a short visit and a conversation with the doctor. You'll have to wait till visiting hours to see her. We can't wait seven hours here.''

The night had been long and stressful and Jens couldn't wait to head to bed. He understood Lucas' want to stay at the clinic, but sleeping in those uncomfortable waiting chair would only make him feel sore and shitty in the morning. Lucas needed rest. Good rest.

‘’They gave her medication. She’ll be out for a couple more hours. We’ll come back in the morning.’’

‘’But-’’

‘’We can ask the office lady to call you when your mom is awake. How about that?’’

To Jens' relief, Lucas agreed.

It was almost 10am when the doorbell rang, stirring Jens from his deep, dreamless sleep. He groaned, the noise keeping going again and again - unable to ignore it. Who the hell could be at the door so early? He almost yelled at Lotte to go open, but remembered he was in Utrecht, at Lucas' house.

Fighting sleep, Jens opened his eyes - keeping them open was the real challenge here - and saw Lucas still fast asleep beside him. He smiled, soft snores coming from Lucas' slightly parted lips. It took Lucas over an hour to fall asleep this morning, constantly checking his phone every five minutes to see if he had any missed calls from the clinic. Jens had pulled him into his arms and played with his hair, knowing it worked as a kid when his mom would do it.

Now, the doorbell was getting on Jens' nerves and he wanted it to stop.

Carefully removing himself from Lucas' grasp, Jens got up and searched for his pants from yesterday, not about to answer the door in his boxers. He was barely awake enough to function as he walked down the hallway to get to the door, not caring that he was looking like a mess right now. That’s what a middle of the night bus ride and falling asleep at 4am does to you.

Before opening the door, Jens checked through the peephole and saw a short girl with curly hair and a boy with darker skin and messy hair whom he recognized as Isa and Kes.

A frown formed on Isa’s forehead when the door opened, confused why someone else was answering and not her friend. ‘’Who are you? Where’s Luc?’’

‘’Erm, I’m Jens. You’re Isa, right?’’

She nodded slowly, still a bit confused until she realized who Jens was. ‘’Oh my god! You’re Luc’ boyfriend aren't you?’’

Jens nodded, eyes squinting at the brightness outside. ‘’Does Luc knows you were coming? Did he tell you about-’’ He interrupted himself, uncertain if Isa and Kes knew about Mrs. Van der Heijden’s mental illness.

Isa hummed. '‘Yeah. I figured he’d be here in the morning.’’

Jens didn’t have to invite them in, the two walking right in and making themself home in the living room.

‘’Where’s Luc?’’ Kes asked, looking around for his best friend.

‘’He’s sleeping. The night has been long.’’

Kes hummed. ‘’How is he?’’

‘’Not good,’’ Jens honestly responded as he sat down in the armchair.

The trio didn't have time to engage in much of a conversation, footsteps coming from the hallway a few minutes after sitting down. They tried to be quiet to let Lucas sleep some more, but failed. Or, maybe it was the emptiness in the bad that woke him?

‘’What are you guys doing here?’’ Lucas asked, seeing his friends and boyfriend in the living room. He was wearing Jens' hoodie, finding the comfort he lacked of when he woke up to an empty bed.

Isa stood, meeting Lucas halfway and pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back before going to sit with Jens in the armchair, unbothered by his friends' presence.

Kes, on the other hand, wasn't as nice as Isa and looked at Lucas with hard eyes laced with deception. ‘’Why didn’t you tell me about your mom? I had to learn from Isa who heard it from Liv who was talking with Ralf. We’re best friends, Luc.’’

‘’Sorry you weren’t the first thing on my mind when my dad called me to say my mom was in a clinic.''

Kes sighed, changing his tone. ‘’You know I didn’t mean it like that...’’

‘’How is she?’’ Isa asked, switching the conversation.

‘’She’s in a clinic, Isa. How well can she be?’’ Lucas responded, his tone a little too harsh.

Unhappy with the way he spoke to his friend, Jens put han hand on Lucas’ thigh, a silent way to tell him to not get worked up. Even if Isa’s question was stupid to him, it wasn't a reason to talk to his friends like that. They came here because they cared about Lucas and his mom, not to get yelled at.

''Have you seen her?'' Kes asked, blaming Lucas' attitude on stress and morning grumpiness.

''No. Visiting hours were over long ago. I'll be going today.''

''Do you need us to come with?''

Although Kes' offer was nice, Lucas already had an emotional support. ''No. Jens is here.'' He leaned into Jens' chest and Jens kissed Lucas' shoulder over the hoodie, confirming his words.

‘’Tell your mom we say hi, okay?’’ Kes said.

‘’Will do.’’

Sunday, March 8th

The past two days had been difficult and emotional for Lucas - and Jens, by bias.

Lucas had spent hours at the clinic at his mom's bedside, just sitting there and watching her sleep most of the time, too high on meds to stay awake. Sometimes, she'd talk to him, but never for long. She was happy that her son was here, but also felt guilty that he had to come home just because she went off her meds again. Lucas denied her wrong assumptions and promised her that he had come here on his free will, that he wanted to be with her, but she still insisted that she was disrupting her son's life and being a burden to him like she was to his father. Lucas knew it was the depression and meds talking, but it still hurt.

When Lucas left his mother's room with tears in his eyes, Jens decided it was enough for the day. Taking care of someone didn't mean allowing them to disturb your own mental health. You need to know when to take some space from them, even if it's just for a few hours.

Back at Lucas', Jens made them dinner while Lucas took a shower. He was a terrible cook so pastas will have to do - not that there was a lot of options to cook with in the pantries and fridge. Ten minutes later, Lucas came out of his shower and Jens brought the bowls of pastas to the living room.

''Talk to me. I need a distraction.''

''Okay...'' Jens racked his brain, trying to think of something to talk about when he remembered that he hadn't told Lucas about the move yet. ''My parents are separating. My mom, sister and I will be moving.''

By the look on his boyfriend's face, Jens realized he should have added more details in the first place. Now, Lucas must be thinking he's moving from Antwerp. He was supposed to distract him, not make him sadder. Well done, Jens...

He shook his head, swallowing his bite of pasta. ''I'm not changing school, don't worry. We are just moving to a new neighborhood where the apartments are cheaper.''

Relief washed over Lucas' face. ''Hopefully closer to mine.'' He smirked and Jens hummed.

They lived relatively close to each other, but they could be closer. Living closer would mean easily meeting up in the middle of the night when one of them couldn't fall asleep instead of texting or take the bus together to school.

''That would be nice, wouldn't it?''

Lucas nodded before snickering. ''As if we don't see each other almost every day already.''

Jens laughed. ''Wanna watch a movie?''

The brunet shrugged. ''If you want.''

''Any preferences?''

''No, you can choose.''

''You trust my movie taste? Be careful what you wish for. We might end up watching the Notebook or some other chick flick shit.''

A small smile curved on Lucas' lips for the first time since Friday and Jens took it as a win.

''I know I must not be fun to be around right now and this probably isn't the weekend you had planned, but I...I’m just not in the mood to do anything. All I can think about it my mom and-’’

Jens shook his head, understanding. ‘’It’s okay. I don’t mind. I like chill nights too. As long as I’m with you.’’

Lucas wrinkled his face in disgust. ‘’Ew. Don’t say that. I’m gonna vomit.’’

‘’You don’t like cheesy?’’

‘’No. Jens?’’ He hummed in response, but didn’t budge. ’’You might think that you aren’t helping, but you are. By making sure I get enough sleep, eat and don’t get stuck in my head too much. You distract me with movies and cuddles - lots of cuddles. All of this helps me a lot, I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.’’

''Look who's the cheesy one, now!''

''Shut up. This was supposed to be cute, but you ruined it...''

Monday, March 9th

Goodbyes, even temporary ones, always hurt.

Jens’ arms were around Lucas, holding him tight, dreading the moment they’ll have to part. If it hadn't been for his mother’s request, Jens would’ve stayed longer, but Fenna wasn’t too happy to learn that her son had left the country without any warnings and skipped school. She understood the situation, sending well wishes to Lucas and his mom, but still wanted him to come home.

Lucas sighed, sad blue eyes looking at Jens. ‘’I don’t want you to go.’’

Give it to Jens and Lucas to make their departures dramatic and seem like they were parting for war when it was only a couple days. They had been standing at the train station for half an hour, clinging to each other and being one of those couples.

‘’I don’t want to either, but I can’t disobey my mom. She’s already mad that I left without warning. Lucky for me, she loves you or else I’d be grounded for weeks.’’

Lucas smiled before pushing his face in Jens’ shirt, not caring that he was behaving like a baby at the train station. ‘’I’ll miss you,’’ he said quietly.

‘’That’s why I gave you my hoodie. It’ll feel like I’m with you when you close your eyes,’’ Jens explained. He kissed Lucas’ temple, his face hidden from view.

‘’I still prefer the real thing...’’

‘’Me too,’’ Jens agreed. ‘’But, it’ll have to do for now.’’

A voice echoed through the station, warning travelers of the trains that will be leaving soon and, sadly for them, Jens’ train was in the list. Lucas recognized the number and clutched the back of his boyfriend’s shirt, refusing to let go.

''My train is here,'' Jens announced, trying remove Lucas's grip from him but also not wanting to part either.

Tuesday, March 10th

After dinner, Jens sat on the floor, surrounded by the mess of his bedroom. He was folding and packing clothes, getting ready for the move when a text from Lucas came in and distracted him, abandoning the pile of clothes.

Lucas: I don’t know when I’ll come back

Jens: That’s okay. Take your time. Your mom needs you. I’ll be here waiting ❤

Lucky for him, his mom was there to keep her children on track with the packing. They were moving the following Friday and the whole house had to be packed up. It was a small delay, but doable if everyone helped.

''Have you started packing yet?''

''Yes.''

Fenna looked around the room and raised an eyebrow, not seeing much progress since she last came here to check - which was two hours ago. ''Quit talking to Lucas and pack your bedroom, it won't pack itself. Even Lotte has started putting her toys in boxes.''

Jens frowned, raising his eyes from his phone. ''How do you know it's Lucas I'm talking to? Why not Robbe or Moyo?''

''Because you have that smile on your face when you talk to him. Others might not notice it, but I'm your mom. I see these things.''

A light blush coated his cheeks.

Jens: Gotta get back to packing...😞

Lucas: 🥺

Jens: We'll facetime tonight, okay?

Lucas: I'll wait for your call. Love you ❤

Friday, March 13th

A mix of laughters and shoutings filled Jens' bedroom as the four boys battled at video games. They were in the middle of a heated competition between Jens and Moyo when the doorbell went off, forcing them to pause the game.

Jens handed the controller to Robbe, being the only trustable person out of them, and went downstairs to answer the door. A confused frown and a wide grin shared space on Jens’ face, surprised to see his boyfriend on the other side.

''What the-''

''Missed me?'' Lucas asked, a small grin on his lips, interrupting Jens.

Jens' grin broadened and he pulled Lucas into a hug after getting him inside, shutting the door behind. Lucas returned the embrace, snaking his arms behind Jens' neck, missing the closeness of his boyfriend.

''What are you doing here? You couldn’t get away from me for long, uh?’’ Jens teased instead of pointing out Lucas’ tired look, the bags under his eyes looking darker than at the train station on Monday.

Lucas rolled his eyes. ‘’Yeah, I missed your pretty face too much.’’ He squished Jens’s cheeks with his hand, making him pull a fishy face, and laughing at how ridiculous he looked.

‘’I knew it, you can’t get enough of me.’’ Smug look on his face, Jens leaned in to kiss Lucas.

Sooner than usual, Jens’ tongue pushed past Lucas’ lips and Lucas slipped his hands under Jens’ shirt, feeling the warm skin under the grey cotton, catching a soft sigh of content from the taller boy.

They hadn’t had a lot of occasions to kiss more than a quick peck since last Friday and it felt good to share a longer kiss. The weekend had been emotionally difficult for Lucas and his head wasn’t in a mood to make out despite having the house to themselves all weekend.

For a moment, the two boys almost forgot that they were standing in Jens’ entry.

Lucas pulled away, but kept his hands on Jens. ‘’I’m only here for the night, I’m going back tomorrow morning. I came to pick up a few things from my dad’s...and see you.’’

Jens hummed and leaned to kiss Lucas again when loud arguing was heard from upstairs, catching Lucas' attention and making him frown.

''You're having people over?’’ he questioned, feeling bad for taking Jens away from his guests. ‘’I can come back later if-''

Jens shrugged. ''It’s just the boys. We were playing video games. Come.’’

Lucas toed off his shoes and let Jens pull him upstairs.

As they got closer to Jens’ bedroom Lucas’ stomach knotted, worried Jens’ friend will ask questions after the way he left last week at the party. He never gave them an explanation and he was hoping Jens hadn’t told them what happened to his mom. He might be okay to share this personal information with Jens and his own close friends like Kes, Isa and Ralph, but he didn’t want everyone to know.

‘’Now we know why he was taking so long to come back,’’ Aaron pointed out when he saw Lucas behind Jens.

Jens flipped him off and went to the empty spot on his bed, pulling Lucas onto his lap, taking advantage of having limited seating space in his cardboard boxes filled bedroom.

Robbe handed Jens back the controller, ready to get back to the game.

''How are you gonna play with Lucas sitting on you like that? You can hardly see,'' Aaron pointed out.

Jens smirked, feeling confident. ''Don't worry, I can still beat your ass.''

#jens's season #van der stoffels #vds #lucas van der heijden #jens stoffels #wtfock #skam nl #vds fic #last chapter #i'm not entirely happy with the chapter but it's the best I could do right now #sorry for the LONG wait

25 notes · View notes

bang-and-a-blintz · 4 years

Text

A Little Extra

Deadass. I woke up the other night at like 4am because this idea popped in my head. Would’ve been nice for it to have been a dream but whatever (thanks a lot, subconscious) and I tried to write it instead. For some reason I can’t stop thirsting over Sasha but I also just want to give him a big hug so this ended up manifesting from that. And yes, I know his character is supposed to be a total twat but I still love him.

So here’s a little Sasha Mann/Reader oneshot that miiiiiight potentionally be more. I have lots of thots. 😇

Fandom: The Affair

Relationship: Sasha Mann//Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Warning: In the realm of smuttiness (basically just some not-so-dry humping)

Word Count: 3,504

~A Little Extra~

You've seen him on set a few times but never had the chance to be properly introduced, and it's not like you can just waltz on up to the lead actor, especially someone with as much prestige as Sasha Mann. No way. At least not when you just got hired fairly recently as an extra for the film. It had been a dream come true to finally be working on a real set in Hollywood and, not to mention, you always did have a little crush on Mr. Mann, so it was just a stroke of luck that you landed the same film.

Oh, how you wished you could go up to him and just say hey or something. Anything for the chance to hear him say your name with that charming accent and smile in that endearingly boyish way of his. But you feared the opportunity may have passed ever since he and that Helen woman split up. You had nothing against her, but the Sasha that walked into work now was a far cry from the man you remembered before the breakup.

Gone was the sweet and genial man who came in every day with a big grin on his face. Now, however, he was so easily irritated and ill-tempered, snapping at anyone who crossed his path.

He rarely smiled anymore and it saddened you.

Before, Sasha had always been kind to everyone working on set; he would make a point to take time out of his day to greet all of the cast members and crew. On several occasions, he treated the everyone to some wild nights out on the town. You knew the man must make a fortune, being an A-listed actor and all, but even still, catering to a group of fifty or more for all expense-free parties around town must add up eventually. But he never even batted an eye; it seemed like he just loved to see everyone having a good time. All in all, the guy was generally pretty friendly with anyone who crossed his path. At least as far as you could tell, but unfortunately, it didn't seem like that was the case as of late.

"Where the fuck is my coffee? And who the fuck has taken my robe?!" Sasha roared across the room and the chatter quietened a smidge. A few people scurried off while his assistant went over to him with the article of clothing in question.

"The coffee is brewing, sir."

"Brewing? Fucking hell, are you a witch cooking it up in a cauldron, hm? Ever heard of a goddamn Keurig? Well, I'll tell you, it's one of those funny little machines that have a rather conveniently placed button that when pushed, miraculously funnels out the magical fucking coffee!"

Yikes.

"Mr. Mann, it's broken." The guy looked bored with his boss and you had to give it to him for dealing with Sasha's little tantrum. He was acting more and more like a pretentious asshole every day and it was getting old.

You stood by and casually sipped on your cup of mint tea. They had just finished filming a scene with you somewhere off in the crowd and now you were just relaxing before they called wraps. Not wanting to be anywhere near Mr. Mann’s warpath, you shuffled around them and hoped no one would notice.

The last thing you needed today was to be caught up in that nonsense.

All of a sudden a hand gripped your arm, nearly spilling the tea everywhere, and pulled you in the opposite direction. It was the assistant director and he looked frantic. "Y/N, right? Well Rachel, the lead, you know, she's just called in sick and we have a super strict schedule today and it turns out that you look the part exactly so congrats to you. You get to be one of the big shots for a day! Sex scenes always get the talent agent's attention, so really, you’re probably getting the better end of the deal."

"Excuse me, did you say sex scene?" You stumbled a bit but his iron-like grip kept you upright as he plowed on forward towards the make-up department.

"Yes, you had signed the nudity rider that your agent had sent over to us stating that you would consent to any nude scenes that involved sexual activities, but not the actual act of sex itself, of course. This isn't porn." You begrudgingly remembered a conversation you had with your friend who had been sort of acting as your agent at the time. She insisted that these riders were simply a formality. She assured you that they were usually only for something like a pool party scene that would have you wear a bikini in the background or something of the sort. In this case, it seemed, you were getting the chance to do a sex scene with the main fucking character. "This is a very unique situation; normally we would not ask this of you, but seeing as time is of the essence and we are super behind schedule, we're going to have to make an exception today. Sasha just had to go through a fucking existential crisis in the middle of this movie. Set us back three goddamn weeks. Fucking prima donna."

No lie, though, you weren't even mad, and to refuse such a golden goose of an opportunity would be insanity. So you shook away the shock and squared up your shoulders as you let the man lead you into the makeup department. They touched up your face for the camera, even though no close-ups were going to take place, and fit you with a pair of skin-toned pasties accompanied by matching underwear.

After you were all dolled up to the assistant director's satisfaction, he unceremoniously dragged you the rest of the way to the set, opened a door, and tossed you into a room.

You tugged the silk robe tighter around your body and looked around warily; the scene had been made up to be like one of those super-cheesy-over-the-top romantic movies. An extravagant bed sat in the middle of the room surrounded by rose petals and candles, which made you a little nervous. It would be just your luck to accidentally knock one over and burn the whole place to the ground.

"Hello, who are you? This is a closed set." Sasha's deep voice cut through your internal monologue causing you to notice his presence and looked up at him. He was tall. Really, really tall. You swallowed thickly.

As he took a step towards you, you instinctually took a step back and then remembered your voice, "I'm Y/N. They told me to come in because Rachel is sick and they really needed someone now and apparently I looked the part…?"

"Of course she is." Sasha rolled his eyes, ignoring your rambling, and huffed in frustration while he dragged a hand through his hair. He wore a matching robe that was untied and hung open shamelessly. You tried not to stare and focused on his face instead. The look in his eye was wild and angry and almost sad but it quickly disappeared after Sasha blinked. You noticed how flawlessly he put back on the mask of a debonaire. "Well, let's get to it then."

With wave of a hand, he turned to shed his robe and you took that as your cue to do the same. When you spun back around, you saw Sasha staring at you for a little longer than what you imagined was normal. He took his time imprinting the image of your nearly nude body in his brain. You could hardly believe it was something to gawk at, not that you were ashamed or anything - you were rather fond of your body and appreciated it. But he was Sasha fucking Mann; he could have anyone he wanted. What made you so special?

"I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing here…" You spoke quietly and Sasha smiled at that, the first you've seen on his face in awhile.

It was a lovely sight.

"It's all very easy, you and I will act like we're having a very romantic affair and they are going to film through the walls." He came closer to you and you couldn't help but smirk a little at the funny cock sock he wore - it looked ridiculous. Clearing his throat, Sasha drew your attention back up to him. "Listen, Y/N, I know this might be a little strange and overwhelming but I promise to be nothing but respectful and professional. If you are in any way uncomfortable, please let me know and we will stop immediately. Okay?"

You couldn't help but nod dumbly, wasn't it just moments ago you were wishing Sasha would simply say hello to you? Now you were about to pretend to have sex with him…on camera.

"Are we - are we going to kiss?"

He chuckled and the sound went straight to your core. It was deep and throaty and you didn't realize sounds could be craved until that very moment. "Yes, some kissing and touching and perhaps a bit of pseudo-cunnilingus; all depends on how much time we have."

"Okay, let's start then." You hoped you didn't sound too eager but the way his smile stretched spoke volumes of your discretion. He called out 'action' but your focus was currently fixated on the way his chest hair traveled down all the way until it disappeared beneath his skin-colored underwear.

If only you had an unrestricted view.

One of Sasha's impossibly large hands motioned you towards him. You had seen those hands before and appreciated them from the distance, but at this proximity, you carefully took mental notes of all your favorite details. Like how long his spider-like fingers were, how the thick veins protruded from the tops of his hands and ran up his forearms like tantalizing lightning strikes, how the ridges of his knuckles seemed to be chiseled out of stone, and how they all moved together like a symphony of skin that drew you in with a single beckoning curl. "Come here, Y/N."

This man had a magnetic pull that was too strong to resist, so you didn't even try, and easily stepped closer into his embrace. One of those aforementioned hands came up to cup your face. His thumb drew a line from your bottom lip down to the base of your throat and then back up to the curve of your chin. You barely comprehended his other hand clasping around yours and bringing it up to rest on his chest.

You couldn't help but smile while flexing your fingers against his solid body, delighting in the feel of his fur tickling your skin. He took notice of your intrigue and tightened his grip on your jaw, smiling when you inhaled sharply.

Those long fingers reached across your waist, slightly digging into the supple flesh, and his thumb drew small circles along the hipbone.

Moving closer, you brought your other hand up and dove it into his thick expanse of hair. It was just as soft as you had imagined however many countless times before, but the sensation of feeling the silky locks sift through your fingers was far better than anything you could have made up.

The butterflies in your belly were throwing a rager.

It may have been just your imagination, but you could have sworn that he leaned ever so slightly into your touch. That vulnerable look flashed again in his eyes but when he blinked, it was replaced by hunger. Those dark brown orbs stared right through your soul as Sasha slowly brought his lips down to meet yours.

This was not how you pictured your workday going and, if you were being perfectly honest, you figured it was all a dream of which you would be woken up from very soon. So why not enjoy it while it lasted? You ignored the blaring sirens that rang in your head that told you to be conscious of the dozen people watching your every move. Fuck 'em.

If they wanted a show, that's what they were going to get.

Throwing caution to the wind, you happily sank into the pillowy softness of his lips. His eyes were locked on your facial expressions and you gave up trying to maintain eye-contact the moment his velvet tongue teased open your lips.

There was no battle for dominance; you were willing and ply and perfectly content with letting him take the reins. His kisses were gentle at first but quickly grew deeper and more desperate.

The grip he had on your waist tightened considerably as he pulled you closer and then slid his hand up, spreading those fingers wide along the space between your shoulder blades.

Sasha pulled his lips away from your mouth and began to drag them across to your neck, angling your head for better access. His breath was hot and heavy in your ear, "Arch your back a bit," his hand guided your body so that your breasts more firmly pressed up against his chest. He cooed, "Just like that, yes, good girl."

You couldn't help but moan at his words and it seemed to fuel the fire. He groaned loudly in return and devoured your mouth with a new fervor.

Suddenly, both of his hands were cupping your ass and he lifted you up effortlessly. You immediately wrapped your legs around his waist as he took a few steps towards the bed.

"Watch out for the candles." You gasped at the movement and gripped his shoulders to steady yourself.

There was that damn chuckle again, "No need to, they're fake."

Before you could even think about his response, Sasha caught your lips again with another searing kiss. The second his tongue lapped against yours, all coherent thoughts escaped your mind.

Not breaking the kiss, he held your body against him as he delicately lowered the both of you onto the mattress. The weight of him tucked in-between your legs and pressed against you was utterly divine; you wished to never be bereft of the feeling again.

He grasped both of your wrists with one large hand and pinned them above your head. Your body writhed beneath his and caused a low growl to emanate from his chest. You felt the vibration travel across his skin and couldn't help but grin against his lips. Briefly, you wondered if this was at all affecting him the way it was you or if he was really that good of an actor.

Well, there certainly was a way you could find out.

At once, you gently sunk your teeth into his bottom lip, and, while using the leverage of his weight firmly pressing your hands above your head, you rolled your hips up to meet his.

Sasha’s reaction did not disappoint.

"Oh, fuck." Those big beautiful brown eyes slid close as his body shuddered. He buried his face in the junction of your neck and panted against the sensitive skin. The evidence of his arousal was rather obvious now as you felt it pressed ardently against the inside of your thigh. He canted his hips and, with a grunt, gave a sharp thrust. "You're doing so very well."

Hearing your gasp, Sasha brought his lips back up to meet yours and the two of you began to set a pace. It became a blur of frantic grinding and clawing and teeth and skin and lips and tongue and sweat and saliva. He was everywhere at once; you could do nothing but hang on to the wrist that anchored you down and enjoy the ride.

You realized that the line of professionalism between the two of you had been long since crossed, but you could not have cared any less. The shocks that shot up your spine every time he rocked into you told you that you were completely and utterly fucked…or at least that was the sweet redemption you prayed for.

Sasha seemed to feel the same as he stroked your side all the way down to the curve of your ass and then brought his hand back up to palm your breast.

Knowing that your panties were sopping wet and he was sliding his hardness along your slit made you let out a long moan to which he returned with another nice, hard thrust.

Instantly, you saw stars.

"Oh god, Sa-Sasha, I think…I think I'm going to-" You breathed the words in-between his relentless kisses but he paid no mind to your concern. If anything, it seemed to spur him on even more.

The flimsy fabric between the two of you could barely even act as a barrier; his cock felt hard and hot as he rutted against you with abandon and you could feel the tension begin to boil over. You could focus on nothing besides the raw, wicked feeling of Sasha Mann enveloping your every sensation. Bright lights exploded in your field of vision as he sent you spiraling blissfully over the edge.

Your moans and sighs filled the room as your back arched, pressing yourself even closer to him. Sasha released your hands and instead curled an arm under your waist to hoist you up for a better angle. You immediately dragged your fingers across his scalp and held onto him as if your life depended on it.

After a few more short, frantic thrusts, his whole body tensed and he pulled you tightly against him. Sasha groaned lowly in your ear and buried his face in the crook of your neck as he came.

All you could hear above your heart pounding was the mix of panting breaths as the two of you tried to maintain control of your breathing.

After a moment, Sasha lifted his head to look you in the eye, and what you saw nearly broke your heart. His face was riddled with guilt.

"Y/N…" He started and then licked his lips, not quite knowing what to say, "I'm so sorry, I-"

The door to the room burst open and the two of you looked over with equally dazed expressions, feeling like two teenagers caught in the act. You had nearly forgotten where you were when you saw the assistant director standing there.

"Hey guys, we called cut like five minutes ago. Time to wrap up for the day." He said and gave you two a weird look.

"Oh, good. Well, thanks for letting us know, we'll be out in a minute." Sasha forced a smile and waved the other man away. The guy took that as his cue and closed the door behind him.

Awkward.

You turned your gaze back to the man above you, but he refused to meet your eye.

He began to ramble, but you were irritated with how he adamantly kept his head turned to the side. "I’m sorry, Y/N, this was completely inappropriate and I should have never let this get out of hand. I really fucked up and you have every right to -"

You were having none of it and cut him off, reaching up to cup his cheek and gently forcing him to make eye-contact. The raw guilt and sadness that was written all over his beautiful face felt like a knife to your gut and you wanted nothing more than to make it go away.

"Hey, don't…it's okay, Sasha. There is no reason for you to apologize. I mean, I enjoyed that quite a lot." You smiled up at him and smoothed out some of the crinkles in his brow with the pad of your thumb, "Did you?"

He contemplated you quietly for a moment and his silence was starting to make you nervous. Did you read the situation wrong? Was this all a mistake? Were you going to be thrown off the set for violating the lead actor? A barrage of anxious thoughts and self-conscious questions ran through your mind at alarming speeds and every second of silence was torturous.

Until that warm beam of a smile broke across his face and it felt like sunshine on your heart.

"Yes, very much so." As he spoke, those big brown eyes searched yours for permission before he leaned down and delivered a sweet little kiss to your lips. Sasha tucked some hair behind your ear and cocked his head down at you, grinning easily, "Now how about we get cleaned up and I can take you out to dinner?"

"That sounds wonderful."

~~~

Taglist (just a few who I thought might be interested - message me if you want to be added or removed!) :

@festering-queen @vissidarte213 @moony691 @allis143 @apocalypsenowish @torntaltos @hoefordarkness @thebeautyofdisorder @chrsitophwaltz @guardianbelle @gabesprincess @hiphop-gir @hyacinth-meadow @undead-notunreasonable

#what can i say?#i like my men toxic and tragic and blessed with a heart-warming smile #sasha mann x reader #claes bang x reader #so funny story - while i was doing some research on this about #how sex scenes were made in hollywood #SPOILER ALERT - they're not sexy #but the article was interesting #and guess who was the director in the interview?#i already forgot her name but it was the same lady who directed THE AFFAIR #like ???????#fucking wild!#and the best part was that while the other directors #weren't vibing with filming sex scenes ya girl was like hell yeAHHHHHHH let's do it #MISTER MANN #yum #anyways hope yall enjoy #perhaps there will be more #claes bang thirst squad #this was practice smut #it's been awhile since i've written any sauce #prolly not even that good #you can keep scrolling #okay i'm gonna go now byeeee

112 notes · View notes

papergirllife · 4 years

Text

" Without you I feel dizzy and sad, I feel low. " + Lucas

" Stop drinking, Y/N. I bought you along to meet new men, not get your sorry ass drunk over your ex. "

" Shut up, Yeri. It's only been three days. "

" It has happened for like what? Over a hundred times. You should seriously move on to someone better, this on and off thing won't work out in the long run. "

" But I don't feel the same way towards anyone else. "

You said as you took another shot from the table, the alcohol making your throat burn.

Yeri was going to give you another lecture from the look of her eyes, but she was interrupted by a handsome man asking for a dance.

" Go. I'll be fine. Let me sort out my thoughts for a while. "

" Stay put okay? I'll be back. "

You were going to down another shot when you realised that you ran out. You walked towards the bar stumbling into people, as you could feel the alcohol fogging up your mind.

As you walked towards the bar, you bumped into someone.

" Sorry. "

" Y/N ? "

" Lucas? "

" Y/N. You're drunk. I'll take you home. "

" No! I don't ever want to see you again. "

You pushed him away and continued your journey to the bar.

You ordered six more shots and downed them on the spot, not bothering to carry them back to your table as you're drinking alone.

Unbeknownst to you, Lucas was standing not far away from you, his heart clenched in his chest as he sees the pain he has inflicted upon you, regretting the fight the both of you broke out the other day.

You sat on the bar stool, dejected at the fact that you can't get him out of your head, nor your sight.

You tried to move on, you really did. But the memories and hardships you and Lucas had shared was an arrow in your heart.

You tried dating other guys, but called it quits when all you felt from the relationships were unsatisfaction and a sense of emptiness.

Your tears started to fall as you could feel the pain seeping into your heart, it was like poison, slowly killing you.

You ordered a glass of whisky to numb the pain, glass after glass, you could feel yourself losing grasp of reality.

Before you blacked out, you could feel a pair of strong arms lifting you up, and a pair of worried eyes staring at you.

You were still tipsy when you regained consciousness. You could feel a pair of strong arms carrying you around, there's only one person with a decent amount strength that could do that.

" Lucas? "

" Y/N? You're awake? Hold on for a while, you changed your key code to your door so I took you to my place. "

You felt Lucas set you down on a bed. You opened your eyes to see your boyfriend, correction, ex, standing in front of you.

You bolted up in a sitting position on the bed, your drunken state forgetting of your lack of balance under the influence of alcohol.

You grabbed onto his hands and looked into his eyes.

" Why did you help me? We broke up. Why are you here for me when you left?! Why?! Do you know how shit my past few days were?! Do you have any idea what you keep putting me through?! I don't even know why I keep going back to you! Why did I fall for you?! Of all people?! I'm so tired of making the same mistakes over and over again! All for you! "

At this point your whole face was stained with tears, the ache in your heart was unbearable, you don't even understand how it hurts physically, but it just does.

Lucas had sat down next to you on the bed when you stopped speaking.

" I'm sorry. I know now, that it was extremely immature of me. I shouldn't have fought with you over the little things. I shouldn't have said you were nagging me when you were just being caring. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I caused you so much pain for all the times we fought. This is the first time I've seen you during one of our breaks, the way you were drinking to forget your heartache made me realise what a dick I am. I'm sorry. I love you, Y/N, I truly do. I don't deserve you and I'll respect your decision if you choose to end our relationship permanently. "

Lucas's last sentence ended in a whisper, it was one of the most painful things he had ever said in your relationship.

There was never once that he suggested to end things permanently with you, but seeing you in this immense amount of pain knew that this time is different from all the other times. It was like the drop of water that broke the dam, it'll take a long time to patch things up this time around.

But Lucas decided that if you let him, one last time, he would give everything up for it.

Looking back he knew it was dumb that the both of you fought, he was so stupid for staying out late with the boys for drinks, he knew it made you worried of him, but he still did it.

He would've kicked himself if he could go back in time. The events from the night you fought came back to him.

It was around 4am and he had came home, absolutely wasted and pissed off at something, waking you up and he said some mean things that made you leave. It was utterly dumb of him.

He looked at you, snapping out of his thoughts. He could see how tired you were, and skinny. He could tell you haven't ate much these past few days.

Your chest was heaving up and down as you tried your best to recollect your thoughts and swallow down your tears to speak properly.

" How could I leave you? Without you I feel dizzy and sad, I feel low. There's no way I'm going to survive without you. And to be honest, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. "

Lucas pulled you close gently, trying to show you with actions that he is going to stay from here on.

When you made the effort to hug him back, your body let out another round of sobs.

" Don't leave me anymore. Please, my heart can't handle this sort of pain anymore, I feel like I'm dying from a heartache. "

" I'm sorry, love. I'll make it up to you, I promise. "

" Are you sober enough to stand up? "

You nodded.

Lucas stood up and took your hand into his, taking some clean clothes from his closet and leading you to the bathroom.

" Take a shower. "

After your shower, you tried your best to blow dry your hair in your semi intoxicated state but stopped and padded out to the living area when your head got too dizzy.

Lucas had already changed into his sleep clothes and was lying on the sofa, when he saw you he smiled, he always thought you looked best in his clothes.

" Take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch. "

You walked towards him and laid down on his welcoming chest.

" I'm not sleeping alone anymore. It feels lonely. Sleep with me. "

" Are you sure? "

" Yes. "

" You're going to regret this in the morning, but I'm too tired to argue with your drunk ass. "

Lucas once again carried you to the bed and laid you down, he slips into bed next to you, holding you close, as you fall into a peaceful sleep you haven't had in days.

When you woke up, you thought you were dreaming. But the feeling of Lucas's arms wrapped around you felt too real.

You closed your eyes and recountered what happened the night before.

' Fuck, I was supposed to be broken up with him. ' You thought to yourself.

You didn't know how to take in the situation you were in. You were promised yourself to stay away from him, but here you are again, back in his bed. But on the other hand, Lucas made a promise, to never hurt you that way ever again.

How are you going to make a choice?

When you felt movement next to you, you quickly shut your eyes.

You could feel Lucas's arms wrap around your torso tighter, as if he didn't want to let you go.

You could feel his neck nuzzling into your hair, as he inhales the sweet scent of your hair.

" Why do you like to smell my hair in the morning? "

" Because you smell like a combination of you and me, reminds me what a lucky man I am. "

You shudder at that thought. It made you realise how much you love this man, and that even though the both of you don't see eye to eye sometimes, there were also many happy moments.

Lucas must've felt your shudder, because he pulled the blankets higher, thinking you might've been cold.

' He cares for me like no one else. '

To your dismay, Lucas got up and wrapped the blankets around your body.

You could hear him opening and closing kitchen cabinets.

" Where the fuck did I put the Advils? "

You let out a tiny laugh, but quickly biting onto your tongue when you heard his footsteps nearing.

He set down a glass of water, as he takes a seat beside you on the bed.

" Y/N, wake up. You need to eat something, all that drinking from last night without any food intake is bad for your stomach. "

You opened your eyes to see Lucas smiling down at you as he holds the Advil and the glass of water for you.

After you swallowed the pill, Lucas looks at you nervously.

" Do you remember anything from last night? "

" Yeah, I remember the things we said here. Not much from the club. "

" I meant it, every word from last night. "

" No more fighting? "

" No more. " He said as he holds you close.

You nuzzle your face into Lucas's neck, loving the warmth it provides, something you always did whenever you woke up in his arms.

You start peppering kisses on his neck, slowly moving downwards.

Your hands itched to take off his shirt when he stops you.

" I want it to be about you baby, lay down. Let me make it up to you. "

Lucas trailed kisses all over you as he laid you down, removing the clothes he had given you from the night before.

He places a kiss on your covered womanhood, sending shivers up your spine.His fingers reach out to cup your vagina.

" You're already so wet for me, love. "

He hooks his thumbs beneath the waistband of your panties and pulls down.

The sight and the scent of your sex ignites a fire in him.

" I missed you, baby. " He says before he dives into your vagina.

He gives your pussy a fat lick as his fingers rubbed circles onto your clit.

" Fuck, Lucas... "

His fingers stop its ministrations as Lucas switched it to his lips, sucking and lightly biting on your abused clit, sending shocks straight to your already dripping core.

By now his sheets are ruined with your juices, you look up to see the sight of Lucas eating you out made you even wetter.

Lucas slipped in two fingers into your core as he sensed you getting closer to your high.

You thread your fingers into his smooth locks of hair, giving him encouragement.

He stops sucking at your clit and used his other hand to lightly flick and pinch your clit, he always knew you loved it this rough with him.

He scissors you open with his two fingers and fucked his tongue into you, the way his fingers move out as his tongue moves right back in made the coil on your stomach tighten.

" Fuck, Lucas. I'm going to cum. "

If he heard you he didn't say anything, but speeds up his actions, his patience running thin for a taste of your essence, you cum all over his face. But this time felt different, this orgasm felt stronger.

You sat yourself up to see that Lucas's whole face was wet.

" I am so going to make you squirt again."

Let's just say you guys aren't getting out of bed anytime soon, with hundreds of missed calls and texts from Yeri.

To request, follow the link below ❣️

https://papergirllife.tumblr.com/post/615715974898974720/300-followers-milestone-prompts-hi-guys-i-just

148 notes · View notes