#i won't be writing edo again

[liminalpsych-in-teyvat]

Notes for A Matter of Duty - Chapter 11 - Protector from afar

I'm back and fully caught up with 4.0! Help, I've got Neuvillette brain rot, and I'm going feral over every crumb of additional House of the Hearth content.

Thanks again to the fantastic PancakeBeast for beta reading! Also thanks to the Hidden Akasha Records Genshin fanworks Discord for helping with all my weird questions, listening to my rambles, and hosting writing sprints.

Notes and references:

I'm using actual NPCs whenever I can. Reina made a brief appearance at a festival event once in game and had one line, but still! She exists! A lot of OCs in this fic are original characters because they won't be around (dead/out of Inazuma/etc) by the time the game starts, or there's not an extant NPC who fits the role. A couple unnamed side characters in earlier chapters are also NPCs in game (e.g. the guy from the bathhouse last chapter - any guesses?). It's a little tricky because the story is set 9 years before the game, so I have to remember that all the NPCs in game would have been 9 years younger, and that rules out a lot of options.

Drought does actually increase the complexity of flavor with tea, supposedly because the tea grows more slowly with less water, and thus has a chance to develop more flavor.

In the early Edo period (and into the late Edo period in some cases), if you were a performer for the masses (as opposed to for the nobles as with noh theater), you were understood to also be available for sex to the right buyer. Kabuki actor = sex worker. Dancer = sex worker (and early Kabuki was also more dance than acting). Even some shrine maidens doing performance = sex worker (maiden as in unmarried, not maiden as in chaste).

I'm taking some Genshin-style liberties and blending a bit of early Edo period kabuki (where everyone played the opposite gender and kabuki was inherently queer) with some later-period kabuki (when it got a little more formalized and more acting-focused, and also male-actor-only for a variety of crappy reasons). The Inazuma kabuki is not purely sex worker advertisement (which was something of the case in early kabuki: dances and prostitute-purchasing skits to show off the options and actors), it has some actual acting and scripted plays rather than just disconnected dancing and skits. But it's mostly sex worker advertisement, and it hasn't become gender segregated to the same degree, especially since the Raiden Shogunate doesn't emphasize class separation to the same degree as the Tokugawa Shogunate that it's based on.

The clapping at the end of the performance is tejime, a kind of ceremonial rhythmic hand-clapping to conclude special events.

Shrines and temples had their own playhouses, called Miyaji-shibai. They were under the jurisdiction of superintendents of the temples and shrines (e.g. Yae Miko and maybe the Yashiro Commission) rather than the other categories of playhouses, which were under the jurisdiction of city magistrates (Kanjou Commission and possibly Yashiro Commission depending on how one wants to define it).

Here's a fun Twitter thread overview of Kabuki and prostitution.

There were almost certainly more inns at Inazuma City than are portrayed in game. It's 9 years before the game started, the inn and theater could have burnt down or shut down for any number of reasons before the Traveler arrived.

I used Ayato to walk the path from the edge of Hanamizaka where I've set the kabuki theater, down the road to the river ford to Chinju Forest, and all the way up to the Kamisato Estate. It took 12 in-game hours. Then I jogged him back down it, which took closer to 2.5 in-game hours. If you add in the jog to Tenshukaku, it takes 5 hours total. So I have decided the Kamisatos have horses, because otherwise Ayato has a commute of anywhere from 5 to 12 hours. A horse probably brings it down to 3, minimum. (Needless to say, I now understand why Ayato's gone from the estate for days or weeks at a time. I would sleep in town too if I had a 3+ hour commute.)

This one's a thorough but highly readable overview of the history of Kabuki theatre with a focus on prostitution and gender/sex roles: Birk, Sara K., "Sex, androgyny, prostitution and the development of onnagata roles in Kabuki theatre" (2006). Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers. 3537.

Super useful and had information I couldn't find in the various online resources I was reading: Nakane, C., Totman, C., & Masakatsu, G. (1997). Kabuki and its social background. In Tokugawa Japan: The Social and economic antecedents of modern Japan (pp. 192–292). essay, Univ. of Tokyo Press.

This one's fabulous; it's a translation of a text from 1687. The introduction is fascinating context, the first half of the stories are all samurai m/m love stories, and the second half are all kabuki theater m/m love stories which was super helpful for getting context (such as the average cost of a night with a kabuki actor-prostitute). (Also, content warning for age gaps and references to sex with minors, a norm of the time.) Ihara, Saikaku, and Paul Gordon Schalow. The Great Mirror of Male Love. Stanford University Press, 1990.

This book details specific plays, and provides cultural context and history for each of them. Really useful read when trying to figure out what Inazuman kabuki might look like. Crandall, David, and Kesako Matsui. Kabuki, a Mirror of Japan: Ten Plays That Offer a Glimpse into Evolving Sensibilities. Japan Publishing Industry Foundation for Culture, 2019.

Life of the courtesans in Japan's floating world: An interesting read, if somewhat pearl-clutching in tone at times.

Summary of the fic itself with content warnings, tags, etc so you can decide if you want to read it or not before you click on the link.

A Matter of Duty https://archiveofourown.org/works/47604337?view_full_work=true

A year after the death of Ayato and Ayaka's parents, the clan succession is contested from within and without. Kamisato Ayato will do anything—anything—to ensure the safety of his family and the stability of his clan.

But powerful supporters come at an unimaginable price. When Ayato's own sacrifices aren't enough, he is forced to involve Thoma in a web of intrigue and exploitation that will push them to the breaking points of their bodies, their minds, and their very hearts.

or: Kushiel's Dart meets Genshin Impact in a quick-scorch-to-slow-burn romantic drama of court intrigue, sexual politics, and sacrifice.

Note: Mind the tags. More specific content warnings will be given at the beginning of each chapter, and the story tags will be updated as needed. All characters in sex scenes are adults.

Rating: Explicit. It's porn with plot. Porn as a vehicle for plot, or plot as a vehicle for porn, you can interpret it either way. (I prefer: porn and plot as a vehicle for ~feels~)

Tags that I'm not actually turning into tags here, but it gives you an idea of what you're in for: Kamisato Ayato/Thoma (Genshin Impact), dubious consent but not between Ayato and Thoma, slow burn, sex ed, first time, self-sacrifice, humiliation, exhibitionism, oral sex, anal sex, bdsm, bad bdsm etiquette, rough sex, breath play, impact play, bondage, service kink, abuse, sadism, codependency, shame, guilt, jealousy, possessiveness, trauma, ptsd, dissociation, political sex work, or sex work for political maneuvering, or political survival sex work if that’s a thing, exploitation, blackmail, political machinations, political intrigue, no aftercare, maybe someday some aftercare, hurt/comfort, mostly hurt for a long time but eventually comfort, oblivious disaster gays, for such socially savvy people they are terrible at personal relationships, dominant Ayato, submissive Thoma, top Ayato, bottom Thoma, Ayato is incredibly parentified, Thoma has no sense of self-preservation, self-sacrifice isn't a contest but don't tell Ayato and Thoma that, it's like the snipe-the-check game at restaurants but with sex and politics, Kushiel's Impact, no really this was in my drafts for the longest time as Kusheline Thomato Fic, everyone's an adult in this timeline except Ayaka, she gets protected at all costs, original characters out of necessity, finding appropriate existing Inazuma npcs for some of these roles was impossible

Full fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47604337?view_full_work=true

Chapter 11 - Protector from afar: Ayato navigates a web of family intrigue. Thoma follows Yae Miko's clues into the kabuki theater to find a mentor.

Chapter contains: Family politics, guilt/shame attempts, discussion of sex work, implied sex work.

[ezralva]

3×1 AU where they're from 2 different time periods.

Hayate is a farmer in the, say, either Heian period or Edo period. Mima is a salaryman in the modern-day - either from the late 2010s to early 2020s (2017-2022).

It's a special day for one Ichikura Hayate. For today, he'll finally get to see and receive the family heirloom for the first time. Hayate sits in anticipation. He can't wait to see the item that's worth a lot of treasures.

Soon, his uncle returns home, carrying a large box wrapped in a luxurious fabric. He lifted the fabric to reveal an ornate looking cabinet.

Hayate is a bit slumped. He expected something more fancy, like a piece of jewelry. But still, he can't deny the excellent craftsmanship of the cabinet.

Oh well, at least he has more room to put items on.

In a moment of carelessness, Hayate absent-mindedly put his favorite book inside the cabinet.

And if he pays close attention, then he would've noticed the cabinet closes by itself & there's a brief flash of light shone through the keyhole.

Mima Takayuki just got back home from work when he remembered that he needed to finish some chores.

So he gets up, puts his bag away, & starts cleaning his apartment.

He puts his phone inside an ornate looking cabinet so he won't be distracted.

However, little does he know that the cabinet is no ordinary object. The moment he takes his eyes off, the cabinet closes itself & a small glimmer of light flashes from the keyhole.

Hayate is certain that he put his book inside the cabinet. So why, instead of his book, there's a strange looking object inside?

The object is rectangular, with rounded corners. It appears to be made of metal, except for one side of the rectangle that looks reflective, almost like a mirror. Hayate also notices a few slim, smaller shapes on both long sides of the object & some odd-shaped holes on the object's short sides.

Out of curiosity, Hayate presses one of the smaller shapes. And the reflective part of the object glows.

Hayate dropped the object in shock. He's stunned by what just happened.

Cautious, he picks up the object again. He presses his hand on the glowing surface, preparing for the worst.

But nothing happened.

So he looks at the glowing mirror (?) & notices a picture of a man, a woman, & a little girl. Perhaps one of these people is the owner of this object?

Before he can find out more about this strange object further, he hears his uncle calling for him.

Guess Hayate will have to put his search on hold.

Takayuki can't find his phone.

He swore he left it inside the cabinet, but when he opened it, his phone was nowhere to be found.

Instead, there's a book inside.

And it's not just any book. It's one of the oldest books in history. But the most puzzling thing for Takayuki is the book's pristine condition. No yellowed pages, no smudged, blurred writings.

But for now, he has more pressing matters: find his phone. So he uses his tablet to search for the phone's location. He logged in using his business accounts to message his personal accounts.

Hayate starts to have an idea how the object works when suddenly the "mirror" glows again & this time there's a writing on it. Curious, he taps his finger on it & the "mirror" shows several writings.

"I'd like to have my phone back, please."

"Please return my phone."

"Why aren't you answering my calls?"

"Please give me back my phone. Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to report you to the authorities for theft."

Hayate feels slightly intimidated. And as much as he wants to return this...phone (?) to whoever owns it, he has no way of finding out the owner's location.

But apparently, he doesn't have to worry about that as whoever messages him initiates a meeting at a park.

So he agreed.

It's been hours since whoever has Takayuki's phone promised to meet, but there's no sign of anyone out there.

So he takes out his tablet, messages them again.

The reply comes in seconds.

"I a m at th e p ark"

Takayuki replies, asking their specific whereabouts, their appearance & what are they wearing.

"I m n ea r t he gi n ko tre e"

"I ha ve a sho rt b row n hai r"

"Im we ar ing a blu e ha o ri"

Takayuki tries to search for anyone with the matching description, but he has no luck.

So he takes a photo of himself & sends it to the chat.

But the reply is unexpected.

"Wh a t ki nd of ga r me nt i s th at"

"An d w ha t is the th i ng on y our e ye s"

Takayuki explains its a sweater & a glasses, respectively.

More conversations, questions & answers later, Takayuki eventually find out whoever this person is, they're from an era where Takayuki hadn't been born yet.

Hayate can't stop looking at the picture of the man.

A small sound comes from the phone, showing Hayate a picture of a book. His missing book.

"By any chance, is this yours?"

Hayate immediately replies.

"Y es"

Another small sound.

"What's your name?"

Hayate replies.

"I chi k ur a h ay at e"

Another small sound again.

"I'm Mima Takayuki. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Hayate-kun."

And that's how the friendship of 2 young men separated by time & space begins to blossom.

Oooh very interesting and unique!! I also just read similar 3x1 fic with the Tom-Riddle-diary concept a few minutes ago.

This concept, I wish there were more, these two need to meet in person for sure, dont you think? how would that happen? Maybe the cabinet or Mima's smartphone are gonna be some kind of portkey that transfer them back and forth? Imagine farmer Hayate of Edo period suddenly goes into the future, modern day Tokyo, getting all flustered and overwhelmed by the buzzing and new tech lol. Or vice versa, Mima goes to the past.

Or maybe they'll stay corresponding thru the book and gadget, imagine Hayate accidentally snapped a selfie of him and it gets sent to Mima's tablet and that's how the older guy knows how Hayate looks like, and then Mima starts doing the same, taking pictures of things and shows it to Hayate who is always amazed by the simplest little thing that doesn't exist yet in his era and asking this and that... Or Mima teaches him more function of the smartphone etc etc. Some comedy and their typical clumsiness ensue 😂

[mannequinentity]

Manny,

I hope this letter finds you, somehow. I wanted to inform you that I'm moving from Edo to be with my fiance in Germany. I didn't want you to assume anything bad had happened to me if you were to come back. I hoped to tell you in person, but I haven't seen you, and we've been engaged for some time now. I'm honestly not sure where you are, if you still are, but I think writing this will help give me some closure in that. I guess we'll see...

Please stay safe, Hibiko

It's normal for an adult to stroll through with many obstacles in their lives. One of them isn't divine retribution. He thought he could escape from his task and indulge in alcohol and sex with many men and women. His master once warned time and time again, if he failed, there will be swift punishment once they bring him back to their haven.

Today is the day they'll retrieve him back for a thorough review of his performance. They will not be happy from his assumption. What's his next punishment? Isolation or a month in the lava pits where mannequins are forced to mine under extreme conditions?

If he was blunt to himself, he would say he's used to these sorts of sentences.

There came a click, and a creak of the front door apartment. It was the shadow silhouette of his master.

"You know why I came here, and I don't need to say hello out of formalities. Manny, when will you learn? You might just be the worse puppet we've tolerated. We leave. Now. You've had many moons to complete this and you failed once more."

With paper in hand, Manny read her melancholic words, realizing she won't see him ever again. Self-deprecation clouded his mind and thought this was for the best. He caused trouble for his own self-indulgent. Least she'll have peace of mind without an alcoholic disrupting her day-to-day life.

Once again, he's forced to leave his possessions behind and leaving this world entirely.

He made no utterance of a single word, except glare at his master before following him out in the sun.

[phoenixenforcer]

//I’m no longer here ! I’m over at @talentbloomed​​ !!

[tozettastone]

"I wish you would write a fic where"...Sakura travels back in time to the warring states era and accidentally becomes an international menace.

Excellent. With time travel fics, I think "I need to get back to my world/the future!" can really hamstring the characters from fully exploring the new setting presented to them and forming bizarre anachronistic bonds. So unless there's a linear way to get back to the regular setting/time (eg., breaking a spell or rules lawyering a time loop or something) I think I'd probably try to avoid that kind of narrative convention...

So, let's say, when people start to be resurrected en masse via edo tensei, it messes with time and space, and it threatens temporal stability—if it's allowed to continue and expand, the instability will simply eat reality.

Sakura is selected on the basis of her chakra control (affecting the time travel technique, I guess) to go back in time and tell Tobirama to knock it the hell off. It could have been Tsunade, but she's got more responsibilities.

The first time she's remarkably polite about it: she just explains the situation to Tobirama and trusts in his judgement and understanding. He was a hokage, after all, and very celebrated for his good judgement and creation of systems with lasting impact. She's got faith.

Tobirama, unfortunately, is young, smart and socially insecure, and at this time in his life he is absolutely desperate to be the smartest person in any given room. Any attempt to tell him he's wrong immediately backfires, because he finds it threatening—she can't come out of nowhere and tell him he's wrong. He's smarter than her! He's worked hard on this! She's not even part of the clan. 💀

It backfires so hard that Sakura ends up trying to take the matter to Hashirama instead, and then Tobriama tries to kill her. He is a lot stronger than Sakura and only Hashirama's confused intervention saves her.

She tries the time travel technique again.

And again.

And AGAIN. The third time she's so frustrated she stabs Tobirama in the kidney in his sleep (a beloved hokage is a price she's willing to pay to stop having this argument with him protect space and time), gets the Uchiha clan blamed for it by accident, and thereby precipitates a continent-wide expansion of the ongoing war. Konoha is not founded.

So at this point she's thinking a) Tobirama's personality is a more powerful force than space and time and b) she should probably start to worry about HER impact on the timeline...

The fourth time is when she becomes an international menace: she decides that since the founding of Konoha pisses all the daimyo off anyway, she can play the Uchiha and the Senju clans off against the local feudal lord instead. Genius. So she kills Tobirama again—he's stronger than her, sure, but that's irrelevant if he never sees it coming—and blames the feudal lord's nephew. Using a genjutsu, she sends one of the feudal lord's people to attempt to assassinate Uchiha Madara and Izuna as well. (She won't be mad if he succeeds but it's not actually in her plan—he's just a wind up toy in this case. She's just trusting the Uchiha clan to be irrationally upset and take it personally. She feels pretty confident.)

And then she washes her hands of it and attempts to live out her life as a wandering ninja in the new reality she's created. Good news: Konoha gets built 2 years early, the edo tensei technique doesn't exist. Bad news: everything else.

"I wish you would write..."

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Madara & Obito : awakening the Master of Chaos

I've always wanted to write a clever analysis about Madara and Obito relationship but I realise everytime I try, it slips away from me, I fail them. Talking about how Uchihas members interact with each others is like facing two mirrors, a never-ending illusion. And I can tell too this post is about to be under Obito's strong influence, because it's messier than usual. But considering the context it's fitting when talking about him and his chaotic mastermind ! Let's try to find some sense below !

I) Madara's presumed heir?

Even if we know, that Madara never wanted anyone in his back, or neither an official heir or disciple. there is few indication than Obito in a twisted way, was selected as his heir and the only one worthy of following his path.

From the databook we learn than the gunbai, a war fan symbol of the Uchiha, always belongs to an the leader, and should be passed down on his successor. But when Madara left the village, and presumably was destituted to his leadership, he never abandoned the gunbai. In his mind maybe, he was still the leader, or no one for him was capable of taking his place.

After Madara's natural death, Obito inherited his name, his identity and of course his belongings which included the gunbai. We never witnessed any Uchiha using it as weapon or symbol except Obito. And first move of Obito after realising that Madara escape Edo Tensei, is to give him back his gunbai. and in a way abandoning his heritage for realising his own objective.

II) What did Madara see in Obito ?

There is something about him that the entire Uchiha clan, Konoha village and the best shinobis of their time couldn't see about Obito but Madara can. Ok we know he said he chose him for his naive personality but that's not enough. Naivety don't qualify you to be one of the most dangerous skilled shinobi ever.

Let's just remember Obito's achievement after spending just few years under Madara's traumatizing internship :

able to destroy a whole Kiri ninja section on your own at 13 years old

reinventing still as a teenage Akatsuki into a world wide terrorist organisation

putting under a genjutsu for years the fourth Mizukage (not your average joe shinobi)

putting bijuus under a genjutsu,

Like Madara being able to summun Kyubi like your personal toy

best actor studio's skills, and playing Madara and Tobi for years

fighting around 15/16 years old as equal his ex-sensei Minato Namikaze, an actual Hokage (still not an average joe)

outsmarting extremely intelligent shinobis : Itachi, Sasuke, Danzo, Oroshimaru.

Slaughtering all by himself the strongest Uchiha fighters (except Fugaku)

Manipulating the 5 kages including Onoki who knew him personally (an other bunch of no-average joes) into believing that Madara is still alive.

Launching world war 4, alone.

Invoking Gedo statute as if it was a tiny pet, while Nagato is seen physically struggling to master it.

Controlling juubi as a jinshuriki, sure it take longer than Madara but it's still an achievement.

One can tell it's because of Hashirama's cells but we know from Oroshimaru's experiences on Yamato and plenty innocent children that being compatible with Hashirama is extremely rare and cause many deaths. So again Obito has an immense strength of his own that no one except Madara was able to exploit.

When you think about it, Obito is really that goofy guy undercover psychopath that you shouldn't invite at your family dinner or he'll succed to create a family civil war and make everyone believe that you are the sole responsible for the bloodshed.

III) What was Madara's plan and Obito's own agenda ?

Fight me if you want but Obito is a way more violent villain than Madara and by far. What's scary about Madara is both his illimited raw power and his inflexibility to accomplish his plan. If you are on his way he will crush you, if you're not he won't care about you anyway, if you can entertain him he will dance with you a little bit. But he never tortured for fun and only killed trained shinobis, never civilians. Everyone who encountered him had previously signed for the dangerous life of shinobi and if you feel uncomfortable by him using and killing Rin, ask yourself how come 13 years child soldiers including Obito and Kakashi were still a thing during the third Shinobi war while the whole concept of Konoha was to stop those practices ? Yes, send your complains to your Hokage. Only Nagato is a question mark, we don't know how both of them met, and how he end up with Madara's eyes. Did he save his life in a similar way he saved Obito's ? Did Nagato had some kind of eyes illness and need transplantation ? Or did Madara just ruthlessly pluck off eyes of a baby ? We really don't know. Only Black Zetsu is still alive, sealed in some dimension to answer this question.

Obito is a total different kind. He has an appetite for perversion and torture of both shinobis and innocents. And he did it not once but repeatedly. Even if he hid himself behind the idea that « this world doesn't matter anymore since Rin is gone », instead of urging himself to realise the Tsukuyomi's plan, he took the time to have some fun & revenge.

What was the necessity for him to launch Kyubi on Konoha resulting in a lot of civilians death ?

He felt no hesitation to play with Naruto's life, and kill both his sensei Minato and her wife who just gave birth.

What was the need for him to involve himself into Uchiha's massacre ?

If we admit that traumatizing Itachi by killing his teamate was a way for him to create future Mangakyo sharingan in case he is loosing his own sight. Why did he kept this huge collection of sharingan eyes, his own people, that will most likely make Danzo very jealous.

The cynical pleasure he took in Kiri. The village of the Bloody Mist , under the fourth mizukage was in fact his creation. In a way Obito who always dream to be an hokage had been de facto the actual Mizukage and he made of Kiri an extreme representation of what is actually a shinobi village : zero-tolerance policy against any dissent, the practice of pitting children graduates against each other in death matches, exploiting money from the weak. Resulting in revolts among kiri shinobi (Zabuza whole life and arc)

I think Madara's plan was more straight to the point than Obito : Collecting the Bijuu, befriend and control Nagato and resurrect him, lauching the tsukuyomi to the moon. While Obito very early showed that he will do the plan but in his own fashion.

Edo Madara was surprised to discover a new war but not anymore when understanding it was Obito's idea. He knew already Obito's taste for creating disorder. And black Zetsu from distance was able to update him on the situation post-resurrection. From annihilating the Uchiha clan, destroying economic system of shinobi through akastuki, destroying politically Kiri as a shinobi village, finally destroying the whole 5 villages through war.

In a way, Obito is a perfect Aquarius villain. A genius mind who made him unpredictable and dangerous, a keen understanding of the shinobi system and how to pervert it. A love for chaos. A detachment from emotion.

So to answer my own question : What Madara saw in Obito, he saw a perfect « disciple » because he was a perfect mix of him and(I think) his deceased brother. We can tell that Obito share in the beginning the same pure kindness toward those he loves and the will to protect them. But Obito is outgoing, fun, and deeply excentric which is far from Madara's stern personality. About Izuna we don't know much but that he has the exact birthday than Obito, 10th of february. And oh what a coincidence ! But Kishimoto never does anything randomly.

Having the same birthday doesn't automatically made you a clone but still, it gives you the same set of cards in life, the same energy to play in the world. And there is only one ninja that Madara knows in full details, from the character, the style and the potential skill not Hashirama, only one with whom he knows from cradle, he trained endlessly, fighted side by side and lead the clan as War Lord up to his 24 years old : Izuna Uchiha. Madara then most likely felt the same energy in Obito which made it easier for him to manipulate and train when it's someone that you feel so much familiarity. And lastly, Obito seems to be a direct descendant of Madara himself (which I doubt but who knows ?) or from Izuna (most likely). and it is known many side of abilities are hereditary. Apples doesn't fall far from the tree, right?

It's as well interesting to note that if Obito seems to look physically more like Madara and (by deduction) spiritually more like Izuna. Sasuke is the opposite. Spiritually close to Madara in character and through Indra's reincarnation, but physically a twin of Izuna.

And if you want to read more about my Madara’s analysis follow me in my main page here

[arasei]

Halloo halloooo! I checked your old fic recs and I’m now reading Little Hell by Countingcrows (currently at chapt. 9), and I’m loving it soo soo muchh so farr! It haven’t updated in a long while though. Will it ever update again, I wonder? :((

That said, do you, by any chance, have more okikagu— or just gen gintama— fic reqs?

Ps. I have been binge watching your fics and now at Hotel Del Sol. You mentioned writing about the mafia AU multi-fic in there, so I’m soo soo very excited to read it next!! ♡

Hello!!! It's awesome to see there are still plenty of okikagu readers out there, thank you for keeping us authors going! I can't wait for you to begin reading the mafia au, I'm very excited about the story 🤭 I hope you enjoy Hotel Del Sol!

I actually still chat with CountingCrows to this day haha, she was very happy to hear your praise but she told me to relay to you that she's a sagittarius and therefore terrible when it comes to commitments hfkbgdmd (I, however, am an aries and am nothing if not persuasive; I don't wanna get your hopes up, but 2022 may finally be the year of Little Hell's return 👀)

As for recs, I have plenty to go around!

---

OKIKAGU FICS

Not sure how old you are, but some of these fics lean or the mature side of things (smut, death etc) so be warned 👀

Innocence and Darkness by blunderingcloudwalk (18+)

One night is all it takes to turn their worlds upside-down.

This fic is sooooo well written, the first few chapters hurt a LOT cuz of all the angst but I promise you it gets better. The latest chapter was super fluffy and sweet, I can't wait to read more from this author!

I choose to be happy by onefortheluna

When he'd collapsed in that alley way, he'd really thought it was finally his time. All these images, these memories, they started flashing before his eyes.

He was sure if he called for help someone would hear and come. If he forced himself to he could get himself to stand and drag himself out of the darkness.

Instead, he stayed there. He's realizing that he's actually been waiting for this moment to come. And now that it's here, he won't let it slip out of his hands.

Yeah, may be he silently did pray for this every day of his life. An escape. A get away. Anything that would take him to his sister.

He's a jerk. He's an ass. He's a piece of shit. Selfish and cruel and a coward and he deserves to die alone.

-

She's staring at her lap, and he stares at her back. When she speaks, he can barely hear her. She says he's sick. Her voice is so small.

Is it something serious.

She doesn't answer. It can be treated, is what she says.

What is it?

Cancer.

He pauses. Oh.

Yeah. His sister had cancer too.

I haven't finished this fic yet but it's been on my to do list for a LONG time, it provides great insight into Sougo's character and I remember reading it at 1am and crying real bad, it was so so good 😭

Killer by Advocaat (18+)

In the glamorous, perfumed pleasure paradise of Yoshiwara, a discreet nighttime killer has sunk their fangs. Girls are being murdered in their futons and Hinowa and Tsukuyo determine that the only way to lure out the perpetrator is to dangle a bait he can't resist.

Enter: Kagura

AAAAAAAA this fic is truly one of a kind, so much mystery and drama, and it's written so well! The pacing is fantastic and the plot easily draws you in! The only problem is that the author hasn't updated in a while which is a shame since the story was getting so good. I'd still recommend reading it tho, you never know when they might suddenly come back haha

Lacuna by aruminiumu (18+)

The Shinsengumi are investigating a series of kidnappings all throughout Edo, the severity of which necessitates unorthodox alliances with partners both willing and unwilling alike.

Sougo struggles to play nice with others; Kagura gets caught up in others' messes. Everything is different and nothing has changed.

I read this one a while back so I don't remember much of it (I also don't remember if I finished it hfrhtjdm) but it was super funny, and the plot was interesting! Kamui is also a major character which is always fun 😉

Captain Goes Down with the Ship by aruminiumu

Series of random, unrelated interactions between and around Sougo and Kagura.

Story tones and styles will depend on my mood, so hopefully there’s a bit of something for everyone.

Another fic by the author of Lacuna, they have such great humour. I read this one last year so again, I don't remember much about it (sorry aruminiumu hhhgg), but as mentioned in the summary, it's a collection of funny short stories rather than one overarching plot.

Kids Will Be Kids by Kingfishers_game

"Something was wrong. Abuto had known his commander quite a long time, and over the years, he’d become attuned to Kamui’s different expressions. It could be difficult to discern actual thoughts from the commander’s face, given that he was almost always smiling, but Abuto thought he'd become fairly adept at it.

And now he knew something was wrong, because Kamui was beaming like a kid on Christmas morning."

...

A recipe for disaster with three ingredients:

1) a police officer with a sadistic streak

2) a bloodthirsty space pirate

3) the only thing in the entire universe that can get them on the same side—a girl. Of course.

This fic hasn't updated since 2020 which is a travesty because it was crazy good 😭😭😭 I'm not sure where the author went, but I hope they're okay. If you don't want to read an unfinished fic, they have other okkg shorts that you can check out!

A Seasonal Affair by purple_umbrella

Winning her over had nothing to do with flowers, dinners by candlelight, or whispered affections. He only kept barreling into her life to harass her. There wasn’t ever a chance she’d fall for anyone else, really.

I read this one years ago, it was rlly cute! Yet another author with plenty of okkg fics to go around, so do check those out as well 😌

Change of Plans by Saffyyy

Becoming his wife is definitely not something she would have ever expected, but she gets used to it.

Came across this one while looking for fics to rec, it's super cute! This author actually writes a LOT of domestic okkg, I highly recommend browsing their other works if you ever run out of stuff to read

Nothing by passivagrestiv

A warning dies in his throat as the wine comically spills on her face.

“Fuck,” she sputters and then blows her stinging nose furiously.

“Serves you right,” he sniggers.

(For Sougo, there's nothing like doing nothing with her.)

More! Domestic!! Okikagu!!! This fic was soooo cute, I think it's meant to be set in covid times since they're living together in quarantine, and their daily shenanigans are so sweet.

---

GENERAL FICS

Schoolyard Children by unidentifiedpie

"You're a wizard. Didn't you read the letter?"

(Shouyou tries to invite Gintoki to Hogwarts. Before he can get a word out, Gintoki tries to shoot him. Things don't get much better from there.

Or: Hogwarts AU in which the joui four are wizards, Shouyou is the headmaster, and Otose is very done with it all.)

This fic lives in my mind rent free. I hate that it only has one chapter, but it's so good 😭

Antigravity by unidentifiedpie

Six months after the world ends, a samurai and a little girl walk into a bar.

The Joui war was cut short on account of the Earth being blown up. In an unnoticed corner of the universe, Otose watches a seventeen year old Gintoki attempt to raise a four year old Kagura.

Dadtoki. That's it, that's the fic. This one was also written by unidentifiedpie, who is an amazing author. I actually recommend all of their fics because they're all very introspective (not to mention beautifully written), but I'm especially singling out these two because of how deep of an impression they left on me

Pandemonium by Xparrot

The Yorozuya trio gets an unexpected reward. They really should've checked their daily horoscope before accepting: Beware of old women bearing gifts, don't count your lizards before they're hatched, and be careful when life seems too good to be true, because it might be a sign that everything is soon going to go very, very badly.

I never finished this one, but it's very popular in the Gintama community. Let me know your thoughts on this one if you end up giving it a go because I genuinely don't remember much about it.

---

Aaaaand that's it! Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of general recs and I'm sure I've missed plenty of good fics, so if anybody wants to recommend others in the comments, pls feel free to jump in and add to the list!

[get-chazzed]

July headcanon meme: 07, 20, 31!

How easily do they grant forgiveness? How would they go about trying to earn forgiveness if they were in the wrong?

Forgiveness is something that Manjoume will selectively dispense. It's very different to him if the one performing an action he doesn't agree with or actively hurts him is someone he knows and cares about- when it's complete strangers he'll curse them to hell and back.

He wouldn't forgive a stranger, but, then again, unless it's someone notable or very particular (notable examples being Amon or Judai himself), he won't even remember them or how they wronged him. He's convinced people don't like him and are out to get him, so he can't worry about every single person he meets and how they'll try to hurt him or his reputation. He will, however, retaliate on the spot, if given the chance. He does hold grudges against strangers who harm his friends in any way- whether it's badmouthing them online or literally anything else ( he has a blacklist and it ranges from internet trolls to actual criminals, yes).

As for his friends... well. He talks big, always. He'll shout at someone if they step on his toes, but he won't actually get upset about it unless it has to do with something that he holds particularly dear. Whether it's a small or big deal, he's forgiving to a fault, surprisingly enough. He can't hold anything against people who do things for him and stand by him despite how he is. He doesn't really believe he's worthy of the bonds he's created, so he thinks it's only right that he'll be mistreated every now and again ('they put up with me on a daily basis, so I can't call them out on x'). When he responds strongly to offences and the likes (because he still is a very impulsive individual), he always ends up regretting it, so he tries to keep outward reactions to a minimum.

Earning forgiveness, now that's a different story. The most crucial point is that he has to care enough to be willing to swallow his pride and acknowledge outwardly (because you can bet he's kicking himself internally) that he's done something wrong. Once that is accounted for, he has two preferred methods of going about it: either he'll write (by hand, yes) a letter of apology or he'll do something small for the one he's hurt (buy them a slice of cake, for example). There are very few people to whom he'll outright apologise. As a rule of thumb, these are the people who are both older than him and who've earned his admiration, the only exceptions being Judai and Edo, whom he respects enough to forego the fact that they are both younger than he is (unless you look at manga canon, in which Edo is older). If he verbally apologises to someone who doesn't fit those standards, it's out of pure necessity and it's most definitely physically hurting him to do so.

Can they play chess? If so, how good are they? Do they enjoy it?

... He’s tried in the past because he’d heard Mr. Kaiba was a chess master. It turned out that it required a lot of effort he wasn’t willing to put in as a child, so he ended up giving up and pretending he’d never even wanted to learn. He regrets it now, but he doesn’t want to be the dumb guy who started playing chess after finishing highschool. He believes that you’re meant to learn at a young age; it’s too late for him now and he wouldn’t want to find out that he simply isn’t smart enough to be good at it. In short, chess scares him, much like all the other things that are believed to be for intelligent people only. Just because he’s come to accept his shortcomings it doesn’t mean he has to go and put them on display for everyone to see. ... He might maybe try playing against an AI and see whether it’s worth the trouble. Maybe.

How tech-competent are they?

Well, he can operate devices without any problems, but he has to look up tutorials for most things? HTML? Never heard of her. He’s familiar with certain games’ commands and cheat codes, but that’s about it. He can’t program or read code, nor is he the kind of person who’ll grab an Arduino and build a robot to pass him the salt at the dinner table. His interest in tech is mostly limited to reading/writing documents, texting, making cursed memes on ms paint, listening to music, watching content (whether it’s twitch, youtube or just movies) and using social media. Speaking of which: he has a twitter (it’s just vent tweets) and an instagram (edgy pictures with vague captions and rants in the stories), but his social of choice is reddit. What he does on there can’t be disclosed, sorry (it’s mostly cackling at memes and upvoting the dumbest shit he comes across). That would be intruding on the private life of Manjoume Jun (he’ll tell you all about it if you ask because he’s real fucking proud of his karma).  Ah, he does also run a stan page for Seto Kaiba (featuring Jonouchi Katsuya and Joukai), but technically nobody knows it’s him. 

If all else fails, he believes he’d make a great disembodied voice streamer or youtuber. He’s edgy enough for it and thinks he looks decent enough to pull off a face reveal for the eventual fangirls. He’s very aware that all it takes to get a fandom to explode is to take a picture in which you accidentally show a hand with painted nails. Bonus points for being visibly skinny, which he is. Yes, he’s thought about all this in detail. 

[makkoskafanfic]

hello may i dump every idea i'm too lazy to write right here -they are very unoriginal, do what you want with them. Plus, you might not like them at all since my fav is hashirama and i guess urs is madara (and I used to prefer him too, but something in me changed when i went to look up the tag madara/hashirama on pixiv and discovered smithsan- such a great artist. okay i'll stop telling my life, but honestly it made me understand how ships worked so much, to switch points of view like that. anyway)

- three words: mokuton cancer cells (but it shows up before he's an old man)

- european medieval au (totally the idea of akatsukiarts but i'm shamelessly asking a talented author to write it :D)

- u probably prefer bottom madara -i've read all ur fics lolol and have i tell i love them all? cuz i do (which i totally get! we can't choose which one we're projecting one) buttttt may i ask for kinda nasty dom madara and obedient sub hashirama? (i'm again going on a tangent but it's so funny how people get "vibes" for who is top or bottom when it doesn't work like that. I mean yeah, u can get clues, but you could turn those clues totally upside down. The opposite situation is soft dom hashirama and bratty sub madara and it fits them just as well - according to me, because opinions are personal-. But that's what i'm getting at. It usually goes from "the sexuality u feel fits the character" -> finding the clues indicating it fits the character. And not the opposite direction. ANYWAY. I'M TALKING TOO MUCH.)

- tajima lives au; what does it change? -probably nothing. I'd like to hear ur opinion hehe (or worse; butsuma lives old au. what happens?)

- do u write hashitobi? i feel like i read one of urs but i might be confusing with another author. Anyway, idea: yandere/dark tobirama (honestly i feel like im so predictable it's not even funny, sorry for those awful ideas this is the worst)

- au where it's tobirama with the mokuton and hashirama (so without mokuton, to be clear).... well u tell me, but i doubt he would fit the scientist role.

okay, i think im done because the rest is even worse and u probs won't use them but here we go! do what u want with these! thank you for the opportunity to share ideas with u! bye now i'm going to hide in a ditch somewhere. urgh why did i write that. :(

Oh Anon, this is a treasure island or a minefield of ideas depending how you look at it!

But first of all, I have to say that if I have to pick one favourite, it is Hashirama and I do project to him maybe a tad too much. That’s why I like to write him from different aspects and see him suffer now and then. Let’s not dwell on this too much hehe.

(Smithsan is indeed a great artist!)

Mokuton cancer cells sounds way too sad! Not that I can’t see Hashirama turning into a tree or something, not knowing how he actually died and all that, but I’m not ready for it!

European medieval AU! Now that sounds a whole lot of fun, especially with some fantasy elements? Dark magician/warlock Madara and knight in shining armour Hashirama? But I do love akatsukiarts lovely arts there, will need to check them again. I fear this might be something longer winded than I currently have the capacity for atm!

I’m all for switching, but yeah, I do picture Hashirama toppier and Madara bottomier. Which makes bottom Hashirama all the more fun to write. Spice things up and all that! While S/D isn’t necessarily my cup of tea, I do like to play around with the dynamics. I actually really getting into the obedient sub Hashirama idea as I can clearly picture him struggling big time with that role, while Madara, I can equally see him struggling with being all dominant (though probably not with being nasty!). Anyhow, this can be gold for The Awkward Sex Scene I Always Wanted To Write, But Never Got Around To Do It.

I have maybe half a page started on a Tajima (and Butsuma) lives AU! It’s one where H&M managed to achieve peace pretty early on and their biggest concern is introducing the other as their boyfriends to their family. I wanted to write it for that one scene where Izuna tries to set Hashirama’s hair on fire with the Katon over family dinner as he can’t stand him having his hand over Madara. Not sure I’ll ever write it though!

I did on one (okay, two, it had a sequel) occasion wrote HashiTobi and I killed myself with it. I’m not saying never again but anything that comes to mind is rather sad and dark. (wow, you’re asking for Dark Tobirama and it’s Dark, who would have ever thought so.) Never wrote any misuse of Edo Tensei (bringing back Hashirama temporary) kind of story, so when I feel I’m in the mood I might go for it.

And nothing loads in my mind when I think about Tobirama and the Mokuton, but knowing me, this will wake me up one day 3 am hehe.

I’m really happy that you took the time to share all these ideas with me. I absolutely don’t promise anything, but I have two weeks before starting a new job and I plan to spend it as any responsible adult would, with playing video games and writing fanfic.

[wackiekebab]

Japanese teacher: so, how much do you guys know about the history of japan

Majority of the class: not much

Those special few: well........................japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's "beautiful"

(ominus low E5 maybe?)in the year negative 1,000,000,000 (drop music, dead)japan might not have been here.

(resume music, mybe) in the year -40,000, it was here, and you could walk to it

and some people walked to it.

then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, (slosh sound) it became an island ,and now there's lots of "trees!" (brisk, short, up beat. airy.like maybe with a light high reverby string triad)because it's warmer.

so now there's people on the island, they're basically sort of hanging out (in between the mountains) eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology, like stones! and bowls! (groovy! they put like shoelaces on them or something)

[actually their technology was super sick. they had bows, and they knew how to fish, and there was plenty of food growing on trees all the time, it was great, but then it got colder and there was less food and less people and it was pretty sad.] cut

(ding, dong) (bell sound) it's the outside world, and they have technology from the future (flash "bronze age" on the screen in the corner somewhere).

like really good metal, and Crazy Rice Farms (exaggerate this visually, but not with vocal effects). now you can make a lot of rice, really really quickly.

(side note: (like, tint the screen and caption it as a side note) that means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food. (red)

which is something everybody needs tosurvive (epic reverb and matching graphic huge dramatic effect or whatever)

so that makes you king.

rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here, with these main kingdoms. eventually, This became the main main kingdom (yamato), in control of the entire land.

knock knock, get the door, it's religion.

it's buddhism, and Baekje wants you very badly to try it.

"please try this religion" said Soga. (baeklje was paying him to say this, i think) NO, said everybody.

"TRY IT" said soga.

NO said everybody, again. quieter this time.

and so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. (show 17 article constitution.)

eventually someone else took control of the government.(Prince Naka no Ōe and Nakatomi no Kamatari) and made some reforms. (taiko reforms). Like making the Government govern More (ritsuryo) and making the government more like china's government, which is a government thay governs more.

"Hi china," they said.

"Hi dipshit," said china

"Can you call us something other than dipshit?" Said japan

"Like what"

"How about sunrise land" said japan

And they stole some of China's alphabet to write a book about thmself. then write lots of poetry and art and another book about themself

then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died, and kept it in one place for a while . right here  (heia?? kyo) so they could make it bigger and stronger with like more offices and departments.

and they conquered the north, finally.  (show checking off checklist) (just) get that squared away

& they generally stopped talking to china, because the Chinese government was kind of falling apart at this point.

japan changed their writing system (kana) a little bit.

then they did more art, and poetry start to show examples)

(then clarify)

the rich people in the palace did art and poetry the poor people probably had to work

the art and poetry and writing got better and better, and the imperial palace was so busy doing art and fighting over the throne that they didn't really care about the rest of the country.

rich people in the suburbs had to hire Thugs to protect their shit

the thugs got more organized and became as powerful as the government. (right here, say where the headquarters is, and introduce terms "shogun" and/or "shogunate")

they let the emperor still be "emperor"  but the warriors were actually in control

Breaking news,  the mongols have invaded china.

"we've invaded china" said the mongols.  "please respect us, or else we might invade you as well."

"okay"  said japan (swords drawing, with sheath noise)

so the mongols came over, and tried to fight the Japanese.

on the first day, the Japanese did pretty well, and on the second day, the Mongols army was randomly destroyed by a tornado

the mongols said what the fuck and tried again.

this time, after 7 weeks of fighting, the mongols were randomly destroyed by another tornado.

the warriors were very excited, but very tired ......

then the Emperor overthrows the Shogunate, then the the shogunate overthrows him back and installs a different emperor, who makes the shogun shogun again,

now in Kyoto.

[so how's the economy right now?]

It's Great, actually! there's a lot of trade with Korea and China, things are going really great, thanks for asking.

AND THERE'S A LOT OF NEW ART, here are some of the types:

(list types)

it's time for Who's Going to be the Next Shogun?

usually it's the shoguns kid. but the shogun doesn't have a kid. so he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. he says 'ok' but then the shogun has a kid.

SO NOW WHO IS IT GOING TO BE?

vote now on your phones.

and everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down.

the shogun actually didn't care, he was off somewhere doing poetry.

and the whole country began fighting for control of the country.

["FREE FOR ALL!" (sound clip from smashbros64) everyone is fighting. EVERYONE is fighting.] cut, replac with above line.

(can you show a map?)

(boat crash landing sound)

knock knock, it's europe. no, they're not here to Take Over (yet), they just want to sell some shit, like clocks. and GUNS (pan hard right with rev/delay jingle: and "jesus"

meanwhile, this clan is ready to win the free for all, but they are INTERCEPTED by somebody younger, crazier, and more talented (oda nobunaga)

he builds a castle Close to the city, but just far enough so that it won't catch on fire from drama. he is about halfway through conquering japan when

someone who works for him kills him. and then someone else who works for him kills them . and That guy finishes conquering japan.

and then he confiscated everybody's swords!

"and now i'm going to invade korea, and then hopefully China!" he said, and failed. and also died.

so ANOTHER GUY (tokugowa Ieyasu) took over (after fighting everyone else who wanted to take over)

and moved the capital to Edo, which seemed like a good strategy at the time, and he still let the "Emperor" in kyoto dress like an "Emperor"

the Tokugowa family continued to rule japan for a long time, and they were VERY strict. so strict they closed the country. no one can leave, and no one can come in. (sidenote)EXCEPT for the dutch, if they want to buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (circle Dejima)

now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a LOT. business increased. schools were built. roads were built. everyone learned to read. books were published. there was art, poetry, plays, fashion,

and Dutch Studies.

people started to study european science from books they bought from the dutch. we're talkin geography, medicine, astronomy, languages, physics, and maybe even electricity (emphasize this with graphic swell and touch of audio. and full screen something .)

over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow d-

(interrupt the narration.)

(boom. big huge low drone note/drum hit. just show a huge freakin ship. and possibly an overlay of the united states flag at the time.

narrate a little more solemly this time)

knock knock. it's the united states. with Huge boats, with guns. gunboats.

"open .. the country. stop .. having it be closed." said the United States.

there was really nothing they could do. so they signed a contract that lets United Stats, Britain and Russia visit japan any time they want.

Choshu and Satsuma hated this. "that sucks." they said. "this SUCKS."

and they overthrew the shogunate, and somehow, made the Emperor the Emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed 'Eastern Capital' (Tokyo). they made a new government... which was a Lot More Western. (maybe show 'privy council' compared to british privy council?) in fact they hired hundreds of Westerners to help make the government more Western. they made a new constitution, that was .. pretty Western. (show a diagram of govt if you can, showing house of representatives, etc)

and a military that was pretty western. (show visually LARGE)

and do you know what else is western?

that's right, it's CONQUERING STUFF (visually large, but not so much in audio)

so what can we conquer? (map showing japan and surroundings)

(quick zoom to korea) Korea! they conquer korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, ... and then go "a little bit further" (liaodung peninsula) but Russia rushes in, out of nowhere, and says "stop, no, you can't take that. we were gonna .. build a railroad thru here, to .. try and get some warm water, ..

and Russia builds their railroad ... supervised by a shit-ton of soldiers, and then when the railroad was done, they downgraded to, (fake out decrease graphic, then immediately increase) a FUCKTON. did i say downgrade, i meant upgrade.

and Japan says "can you maybe chill". and russia says "how about maybe you chill." (maybe pointing finger appears on that word?)

(silent, black background.) japan is kind of scared of russia. you'll never guess who is also kind of scared of Russia. quick crossfade into spin around the world.) Great Britain

so Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together, so they can be A Little Less Scared Of Russia.

feeling confident, japan goes to war with russia, just for a moment (show actual time),

jingle: "it's time for world war 1" see movie 65

the World is about to Have A War. because, it's the 1900s, and Weapons are getting crazy, and all these Empires are excited to try them out on each other. (you can show diagram if you want)

meanwhile, japan has been enjoying conquering stuff, and wants MORE (huge, voracious emphasis.) and the next thing on their list is (show "to be conquered" checklist)

this part of China, (tsingdao) and lots of tiny islands .

All that stuff belongs to Germany.

which just had war declared on it by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being tresspassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria/(hungary)'s ass, because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's ass, because someone in serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass. er, actually he shot him in the head.

and Britain is currently friends with Japan. so you know what that means. (silent pause.) Duh, japan should invade all up in Germany's shit! which they wanted to do anyway.

so they call britain on the Tele(gram) to sort of ... Let Them Know .

and then they did it! and they also helped Britain a little, here and there, with some errands and stuff.

(classic ringing bell sound)

now the war is over, and Congratulations Japan! you technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the Negotiating Table! with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. and Yes, japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from germany.

you also get to join the post war Mega Alliance: the League Of Nations !!! jingle see movie 66

(spoken quicker, like fine print) who's mission statement is to Try Not To Take Over the World

The Great Depression (big low ominous slam, title screen, slowly growing multiple layer thing a la pineapple or mountain of regret)

(narated still over that ominous thing) the great depression is bad. and japan's economy is now crappy.

(break from ominous) but the military is is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria.

and the League of Nations is like

"no, don't do that, if you're in the league of nations your'e not supposed to take over the world!" (almost like Eric Wareheim 'i cant waeeaeit' sort of voice)

and japan said, "how bout i do anyway" jingle , see movie 71.mov

and japan invaded more and more and more and more of china, and was planning to invade the entire East. (show proposed map of greater east asia co prosperity sphere)

you've got mail" it's from Germany, the new leader of Germany. he has a cool mustache, and he's trying to take over the world and needs friends. (show text, quick letter type / crop reveal of the contents of email: "i am interested in taking over the world, and i was wondering if you could be my friend." this also got forwarded to Italy.

they all decided to be friends, because they had so much in common. (immediately fill table with 'trying to take over the world' and 'needs friends')

"it's time for world war 2" jingle movie 72.

Germany is invading the neighbors. then they invade the neighbors' neighbors. then the neighbors' neighbors' neighbors , who happened to be britain said 'holy shit' and the united states started helping britain, because they are "good friends" see movie 77.

and

started Not Helping japan (clearly indicate or caption somewhere on the screen that that means they stopped "selling oil"), because 'they're "friends and our friends are not friends" (tiny gap) "plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean" same mel. see movie 79.

the United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb. bigger than any other bomb, ever.

Just In Case (maybe like, real silent, plain text, full screen, background dimmed. real dead voc.) ( if you can really subtlely indicate Germany .... in the background. )

but they still haven't joined the war. war looks bad on TV, and united states is really starting to care about their image.

But then, japan spits on them ! in Hawaii, and challenges them to war. and they say Yes! and then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also.

so the United States goes to war in Europe (scale tip, germany flies off) and they help the gang chase germany back into germany, and then when they are done, they chase japan back into japan.

and they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on japan. (devastating explosion which stops all music.) (then after a medium pause , like 3 sec?) "they actually drop 2"

(longer pause, overwhelming silence / mushroom cloud, etc.)

(silent.)

(white flag appears, which says "ok, you win" no vocal here.)

United States installed a new government (show like install wizard or something, maybe even include process details like constitution, blah blah blah, etc) inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for big international businesses to do big international business, such as sell lots of cars, and electronics.

then the economy got worse and staed kinda bad, (show line graph of econ) but they continued to make great video games and cartoons.

Everyone: ....what the fu-???