#i would go more in depth for some of these answers but i dont want to make this post any longer than it already is qwq

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

your transfem friend recommended a clinic to get your bottom surgery done at. she says its cheap, not gatekeepery, and the results are good, even if the doctors a little skeevy. youre at the address she gave you and are wondering how exactly your murder will go down. the door is on a third floor landing accessible only from a fire escape out of a back alley in the worst part of town youve ever seen. you knock three times and the door is answered by a ratty-looking woman with a severe slouch smoking something that doesnt smell like nicotine and doesnt smell like marijuana. her wavy blonde hair is unkempt. shes wearing an oversized grey hoodie that hasnt been washed in some time. you can identify blood on the left sleeve and vomit across much of her side, as well as other, more mysterious stains. you cant tell if shes wearing anything underneath the hoodie. the inside of the apartment - because it is, very clearly, her apartment - has a smell that you cant place but, if pressed, would probably call sweat, though you know that description is lacking something.

dr davis, you ask. she smiles wide, and her teeth are shockingly good for the state the rest of her is in. just call me riley, she says. never did get a degree.

she ushers you inside and sits you down on a sofa almost as stained as her hoodie. can i get you a drink she asks. a drink, you repeat, dazed. she says yeah. she says she has diet coke, beer, vodka, and coffee. says she used to keep tea around for a friend of a friend but she hasnt come by in a few years and the leaves are probably losing flavor by now. you say just waters fine. she shrugs and says your funeral. she comes back from the kitchen and sweeps some stuff off the coffee table. you see a stray scalpel, a roll of gauze bandages, a soda cup from taco bell, and various crumpled papers amongst the rubbish that she knocks aside before setting down your glass of water. she has a beer in her own hand and pops the cap off with her teeth, though the motion isnt quite how youre used to seeing people do it. she takes a big gulp before she keeps talking.

so what do you want your pussy to look like, she asks. you splutter a bit. she says you are the one who needed their bits redone right. you flush and say yeah thats me. she nods and says right so what do you want. you struggle to give a good answer and she starts asking questions. depth? width? color? clit size? you give your answers falteringly. she starts asking about labia. oh, you dont want dentata, do you, she says. that costs extra. you say you dont know what that means. she says dont worry about it. hey do you wanna get pregnant? you splutter again. not now she clarifies. well i can get you pregnant now too if you want that. doesnt even have to be human i think i have some horse sperm around here if you want. i just meant like ever in the future. you say you dont know. she says okay shell leave it out for now but come back if you ever want her to put the womb in. youre too stunned to reply.

she says oh do you want to keep your dick, i can do that. you say you thought they needed the tissue from the penis in order to make the vaginal lining. she laughs and takes another gulp from her beer. she says so is that a no. you say you guess you hadnt thought about it. she says she can reschedule if you need to think, no rush. you say no i guess i dont want it anymore. she nods and says come back if you change your mind.

she says ok, i think i can start operating now if youre ready. you say okay and she tells you to lie on your back and strip naked. you follow her instructions. youre still not sure if youre going to die today or not. she pulls on a big pair of rubber gloves. not latex medical gloves, they're yellow dishwashing gloves. she grabs a small jar of what looks like petroleum jelly off a shelf nearby. you cant help but notice that theres also lube, condoms, saran wrap, and a bottle of honey on the same shelf. you dont ask. she starts vigorously rubbing the jelly into your skin from the belly button down. everywhere it touches you instantly go numb. she keeps talking while she works. a lot of it is her telling stories about "her amy." you cant tell if amy is a sister, wife, or pet. she might be all three.

she reaches up to grab an empty syringe off the top shelf. when she stretches you notice shes naked under the hoodie. you look away bashfully. she doesnt seem to notice.

she fills the syringe with liquid from a bucket in the closet. the liquid is neon green. she injects it into your inner upper thigh. you are now certain you're going to die today, but you cannot make a break for it with your legs numbed, so you wait.

she says okay this is the part where a lot of people get squeamish so look away if you think you might get sick. she pulls out a set of knives. some of them look like dentistry tools, some of them are medical scalpels, and some of them are kitchen knives. you look away. she starts humming to herself while she works. the tune is pop goes the weasel.

hey, she calls out to you from between your legs, how many nerves do you want in your clit? you say uh i dont know, whats a normal amount. she says about ten thousand give or take two thousand in either direction. you say ten thousand sounds fine. she doesnt respond, just goes back to humming. its a different tune. shes humming old macdonald now.

she gets up a couple times to grab new drinks. you say should you be drinking during an operation? she says dont worry i know what im doing. besides i never took the hippocratic oath. she laughs at that, the sound somewhere between a giggle and a cackle. you don't think its that funny. she resumes her work.

this time shes humming the alphabet song. you ask how old are you anyway? she says somewhere between 12 and 47. then she laughs again. you decide to stop asking questions.

four beers, two diet cokes, three unidentifiable cigarettes, and five hours later, she stands up and announces shes done. she wipes her brow without taking the glove off, smearing unidentifiable bodily fluids across her forehead. she jabs another syringe into your other thigh and the feeling returns to your lower body. you're a little sore but other than that you feel great. she wheels over a full length mirror and tells you to take a look. its perfect. youre everything youve ever dreamed you would be. you cant describe how euphoric it feels to see a vagina, your vagina, between your legs. you thank her tearfully. she smiles awkwardly. of course, shes saying.

how much do i owe you you ask. she shrugs. iunno, a hundred bucks? im not in it for the money. you pay her the hundred bucks and leave quickly. you barely remember to get dressed again before heading out. you have never seen Riley again.

[vxiphoid]

EXIXIR OF EMOTIONS

❨ summary ❩ genshin › more than friends? moments. is he feeling too much or too little?

tags ✧ gn!reader, fluff, modern au (?), friends to lovers, y’all are dorks, the sweetest of feelings.

amanuensis’ message ⊹ y’all are not just friends babes, smooch.

⌜ O.7+ ⌟

♫ lover boy - phum viphurit

genshin masterlist

CUDDLING.

“you’ll put me to sleep at this rate.”

“its not like i’m going anywhere anytime soon. i like you here, in this moment. just sleep.”

— there’s absolutely nothing better than hearing your beating heart while he rests over you. no better feeling than your hands carding through his hair, braiding a few small pieces he was sure not to remove. he listens to your absentminded humming, your muted whispers about how soft his hair is, and the delighted thrum of your heart. his hand finds your unoccupied one and you were quick to interlock fingers, a reassuring squeeze following shortly after. maybe a small nap wouldn’t be so bad, little did he know you weren’t that far behind him.

AETHER, kaveh, WANDERER, zhongli, shikanoin heizou, BAIZHU, ayato, gorou, venti.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

LATE NIGHT TALKS.

u up? ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀2:23 am (read)

been up ever since i heard your ringtone, are you alright? ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ 2:23 am (read)

— you have a different ringtone from everyone else in his contacts for times like this. honestly, it doesn’t matter if you want to rant, call, or even plan something like going for a walk, his answer will always be yes. its the yearning need to hear you laugh over the phone, even if he did see you three hours ago. babble on about the first thing that comes to your mind, watching you light up as you spoke. he’s sure he has heart eyes as his pupils as he takes you in for the umpteenth time tonight.

XIAO, DILUC, childe, kaedehara kazuha, shikanoin heizou.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

LISTENING TO HIM GEEK OUT.

“sorry, i’m talking your ear off.”

“no, keep talking. i love your voice. what happened then?”

— its the complete adoration and love swirling in your eyes that makes him lose his train of thought. he notices when he turns to see if you’re still following, the smile adorning your face spreads wider under his gaze. what are you trying to do? give him a heart attack? don’t look at him like that (please do, he’s literally in shambles.) you’re so willing to listen to him even when you dont understand the topic. give me a night, ill have it all memorized and we can talk about it together, you’d say. how could you be so perfect?

ITTO, KAEYA, thoma, ALHAITHAM, tighnari, CYNO.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

D.I.YING CLOTHES TOGETHER.

“and then the needle goes through here…”

“please don’t poke yourself—”

— you texted him about some moss embroidery on a sweater you had saw on pinterest and he was already on his way to pick you up and run to the nearest store for yarn and string. he found two old similar sweaters in the depths of his drawers and you were quick to get to work. he could barely pay attention to his own stuff because your shoulder kept brushing his… by the end of it, made with your hello kitty bandaged fingers, on the very end of his sleeve was his own embroidered moss and your initial.

AETHER, BAIZHU, albedo, VENTI, kaveh, zhongli.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

DANCING TOGETHER.

“no but, what if i fall? that would be embarrassing.”

“i would catch you. always.”

— having his hand interlocked with yours has never felt so faultless, he’s been close but never this close. the amount of times he’s wanted to play with your hands but refuse because of the fear of making you uncomfortable yet you seemed so at ease grabbing his hands to mess with his knuckles at any given time. your hand that was splayed out on his chest traced little hearts into the fabric while you studied his face. for a second, he swore you leaned in.. that was until you stumbled on his foot. instincts kicked in quicker than he could react, tugging you flush against him. well that was embarrassing… even then, both your laughter, firstly stiffed, echoed throughout the atmosphere.

ALHAITHAM, ayato, DAINSLEIF, tighnari, KAEYA, THOMA.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

KISSING HIS SCARS.

“why do you do this?”

“i want you to know i accept every part of you.”

— weither that be his hands, his arms, back, neck, waist, there’s no place that your lips don’t leave a tingling feeling upon his skin. it’s how you say hello, its how you say goodbye, it’s so frequent he finds himself counting the mere seconds of the intimate interaction. how you lingered for a second longer one day or a second less the next. you’ve found scars on him where he didn’t even know he had-including the invisible scar you insisted he had on the corner of his mouth that you’d pecked last.

AETHER, albedo, childe, CYNO, dainsleif, DILUC, gorou, itto, KAEDEHARA KAZUHA, XIAO, WANDERER.

[tenjikyu]

𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 - 𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘬𝘪 - 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ really angsty with some fluff at the end , male!reader throughout the entire series .

PART I • PART III • GENSHIN M.LIST

tag list :@wanderchive @wanderer-baizhu-simp @gimmealamp @mis-disaster @remi-appalace @lucianidealz @sleepdeprivedpotato @unemiart @heejinsong @kiiyoooo @sweett-heartzz @camryn-ciel67 @aruaruaru @danika-redgrave124 @ravencalamity @snowcatlove @bunbunboysworld

it’s been awhile since diluc had seen his little brother’s face, and from the moment he stepped into the manor he knew something was up.

he noticed it in your eyes, the colour dimmed down and that childlike glint lost into the depths of your coloured iris’. he saw your eyebags, weighing down your once flawless skin. he noticed your attitude, expecting a big hug and questions of his wearabouts, however he received nothing more then a harsh glare and a quiet “i’m going out, see ya”, not even sparing him a second glance. you just walked out the door, not a care for his presence.

what a familiar sight that was, only the brothers roles had been reversed. just how much had he fucked up, and what was left of yourself to apologise to?

you laid your head on the young bards thighs, his fingers dancing upon his lyre with a gentle breeze forming in the winds. your tears stained your cheeks, however you made no attempt to wipe them, as a soft white feather came down before your fingers could reach and wiped them away for you.

“what should i do barbatos? i’m lost” you whispered gently, the gods ears picking up every word as your lips moved.

lord barbatos knew the answer, however he knew you may not take his answer lightly. you were only getting colder, showing even less signs that your old self was still present in your husk of a body.

for now though, his thin fingers would continue to caress your head, stroke your hair and keep you close. for now, he would do his best to stand in as your light in the dark, your safe place.

lord barbatos knew, deep down in his soul, that you weren’t just unhappy, you were utterly shattered and no amount of apologies, gifts or explanations could repair what your brothers had caused you.

for now though, he wants you to just continue holding onto whatever you can of your sanity.

you wandered aimlessly around the streets of mondstadt, dragging your shoes against the pavement and sulking to yourself. the lingering numbness that never left your side since that fateful day was a lot more rowdy then usual, thumping in your stomach. how much longer should the gods make you suffer like this? how many tears will you shed on that bards shoulder until you finally feel at ease? how many times do you have to push away diluc before he takes the hint that he can’t fix this??

making your way back home to the manor, you dreaded what awaited you.

it was the same thing every time you made it home.

diluc would be sitting in the dining room chair, mulling over how to approach you. he’d give you an apologetic smile, open up his arms.

and you’d shove him away, just like every other night.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T CHECK IN ON (Y/N)?! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SINCE I LEFT YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL” diluc’s voice boomed through the dawn winery.

“I WAS SCARED DILUC! I WAS TERRIFIED YOUD DISOWN HIM, JUST AS I WAS!” kaeya had fought back.

that shut diluc down, and so kaeya continued.

“ YOU UP AND LEFT HIM JUST AS MUCH AS I DID, DONT YOU DARE MAKE ME THE SOLE PERSON TO BLAME. WE BOTH FUCKED UP MAJORLY AND NOW THERES NO FIXING IT! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF EARLIER, HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF US ANYMORE” kaeya sobbed, salty tears soaked his cheeks and dropped onto the wood floors of the tavern.

both of them fell silent upon heading a third party enter the tavern…

“ he left.” was all venti spoke.

it was only just above a whisper, red strains in his eyes indicating tears had recently filled his vision not long beforehand.

“i didn’t stop him, he just picked up a bag, said his goodbyes to me and headed towards liyue. my best guess? he’s either headed towards inazuma to be as far away from this mess that you both have created, or he’s headed towards fontaine using liyues route, as an attempt to throw the both of you off his track.”

and then, the sounds of the dieties shoes exited the tavern.

the two contrasting brothers could only stare in utter disbelief at the bards words, but then,

they ran.

almost in sync with eachother they raced towards the manor i’m a rush unlike any other they had ran.

kaeya had never run so fast and diluc had never felt so ill. both of them could only pray to the gods above that there would be some form of evidence of your whereabouts once they arrived back at the manor.

and they were completely out of luck.

your bedroom had been destroyed beyond repair. diluc hadn’t entered your bedroom once since his return, in hopes to give you as much privacy as possible and kaeya hadn’t even entered the place since the fight.

your bedsheets were mauled, almost as if a boar had trampled on them. your clothes were everywhere, only your staple clothes seemed to no longer be in the room. notes upon notes with incomprehensible writings but obviously very emotional statements were scattered around them. your walls had marks and scratches from furniture denting them, plates and cutlery were stacked on your desk and finally,

you. you were gone.

for the first time 3 years, diluc held his brother as he broke down in your bedrooms floor, his own body suddenly to heavy for his legs to withstand.

and unfortunately for them, it would be a long time before they ever got to see you again.

you had finally made it to the entrance of the court of fontaine, only your bag in hand as well as a melusine next to you, guiding you to your new home that you had purchased with some of the mora you.. obtained while back in mondstadt.

“here it is! this apartment unit has been on the market for awhile considering it’s price! i’m surprised a foreigner was the one to claim it! all the furniture is already in the house, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. here’s the keys!” the ever so kind melusine handed to you.

not having the heart to be rude to such a sweet creature, you gave her a gentle smile and she skipped away. with a deep breath, you decided to head into your house..

or you tried to, anyways.

“hello there good sir! it’s lovely to meet you! we live close by and thought we’d introduce ourselves.” the hyperactive man in front of you spoke.

sighing to yourself internally, you decide it’s better to start off on a good foot over a bad foot when it came to your neighbours.

“my name is lyney, and this is my lovely twin sister lynette! we have a younger brother too, however he is currently out diving at the moment, so he couldn’t be here to greet you. both my sister and i would love to have you come to one of our shows that we’re performing in two days time! here’s a free ticket.” he winks to you, handing you a ticket, lyneys (seemingly reserved) sister only sighed at his antics.

“thank you.” you you muttered. “now may i please enter my house? i’d like to see it” you say with a.. slightly irritated tone, however neither of them payed much mind to it.

“of course, mon chéri! but only if you let us in for tea” he once again winked at you with a sly smile.

you knew should have just shut the door in his face when you had the opportunity…

[redsrooftopprincess]

Gravity (Part 3)

Last chapter? Idk. Taking suggestions on what to call this.

Asks are open, but I don't have a lot of free time and I'm new at this so be gentle. 😅

Okay, let's face it, you're not here for me. On with the show.

Warnings: alcohol, hypothermia

chai-tea level spice.

gn (w/ longish hair) reader x Raphael

Page 1 Page 2

You're anxious tonight. You aren't sure why. Maybe it's the weather. You hate when the boys are out on nights like this. Another rumble of thunder shakes the near empty glass of wine on the coffee table, and you glance at the window which offers nothing more than a void. Unhelpful.

You'd drifted through the week, distracted. That night, and his words, echoing your head. Even April had noticed. Eyeing you one morning while sipping her coffee.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Huh?" You looked up from the cereal you were supposed to be eating. By now, the marshmallows had half dissolved.

"I said... What's wrong with you?" April asked, sitting down at the table across from you and looking you up and down.

"Nothing," you reassured unconvincingly, your eyes darting back down to the generic cereal, which was pretty swiftly becoming a thick sugary soup. You poked at it a few times with your spoon.

She'd let it go, but you caught her watching you closely a few times. Screw her and her journalism instincts.

You and Raphael had always been close. He'd been standoffish at first, acting in his self-appointed role of family guardian, but it didn't take long before you were endeared to him, and not long after that you were spending nearly all your free time together.

More than a few times you've gotten sideways glances from his family. You're so in-sync that you almost seem like a couple at times. You laugh and cry together, and talk deep into the night about things you just can't tell anyone else. He's become your person, and you his.

The last few weeks have been hard on the both of you, and the last week has been the hardest. You dont want to push, especially not right now, nothing important should be discussed right now, but you don't know where his head is at and you're worried.

You frown at the television, readjusting your position on the couch and scrolling to find something to watch. You are attempting to settle in to some exceptionally stupid movie (this way, when April asks what you did tonight, you don't have to lie) when you hear something heavy hit the roof.

He didn't make a sound if he didn't want to. Usually he would land just hard enough that you would know he was there. They all did, out of courtesy. Like a knock at the door. But this was different. Clumsy.

You stare out into the pitch black, grabbing your phone and sending the call. It goes to voicemail.

Raph was always encouraging you to trust your instincts and right now, your instincts were screaming that something was very *very* wrong.

You toss your phone on the couch and are out the window and halfway up the fire escape without a second thought. You're soaked through in seconds and shivering, but you slow before you crest the roof. You shout into the squall.

"Listen Red, I know you don't want to see me right now, but you're not answering your phone and I need to know that you're okay. Okay?"

You wait for a response and there is none, which doesn't make you feel better. You finally reach the roof, and suddenly neither the cold, nor the rain matter.

Sheets of rain and sleet crash over his fallen form like waves, and you run to him. He's freezing cold. Damn it. He'd promised you he'd gotten that fixed. You don't bother checking for a pulse. Your hands are borderline numb, and you probably wouldn't be able to feel it, anyway.

You call his name and make a valiant attempt at shaking him awake.

Somewhere in the depths of unconsciousness he hears you, but he fights it. He wants to stay. He likes it here. It's soft and warm and safe. The world behind him is cold and hard, full of pain and longing. He wants this. He wants this peace.

Then he hears you call his name again, and there's no contest.

He stirs and it's raining so hard that the only way you can tell you're crying is the warmth on your cheeks. You hear him groan weakly. You need to get him inside.

You know you can't physically help him in any way, but you make the attempt. You know it's not going to work, but at least now you can say you tried. He could feel free to laugh at you later.

After very much not budging your beloved behemoth so much as an inch, you lean down next to him.

"I'm gonna need your help here, Bruiser, you know I can't carry you."

A Herculean feat, but he manages to pull himself to near standing. You help him as best you can down the fire escape. It's slow going and he nearly passes out twice, but eventually you make it inside.

He doesn't make it to the couch, but collapses in front of it, sitting on the floor and leaning back against it. His eyes are closed and his breathing slow, you snatch your phone from the cushion behind him and call Donnie.

He doesn't pick up.

You call again.

"Yes. What. Do you need something?" He snaps, exasperated, as if you interrupted a hyperfocus (which, let's face it, you probably did).

"Raph is soaked and freezing and in my apartment. Get the fuck over here and fix your damn tech." You end the call and toss the phone on the couch.

You could apologize later.

You sprint to the linen closet and grab a stack of towels, tossing them into the dryer and turning it on. You quickly change into something dry, before running back to the reptile. You thank whatever god of foresight made you force Raphael teach you how to remove his gear just in case, and get to work.

Your hands don't want to cooperate at first, but adrenaline is one hell of a drug, and you have his waterlogged equipment off in record time. You retrieve the now warmed towels from the dryer and return to him. You lay a couple over his carapace, and use the others to start drying him off.

By the time you finish toweling off his extremities, he is once again beginning to stir. You step over his legs, straddling him while standing to better reach behind his head, and as you lean against him your warmth radiates through his plastron like a sun.

Almost involuntarily, his hands raise to rest at your lower back, pressing you gently against his chest.

You gasp as his hands slide under the back of your shirt, searching for warmth. His hands are still freezing cold, but you're pretty sure the gooseflesh rippling over your skin is unrelated.

You finish toweling off just under his shell, behind his head, and pull back, bracing a hand on his shoulder. As you do, his hands move to your waist and you try to ignore how they nearly envelope you.

You look down at him as his eyes slowly open and smile softly. It's obvious he's still pretty out of it.

Wreathed in warm lamplight, you look ethereal, and when his eyes finally focus on you, he thinks he's either dreaming, or dead (with his luck, probably the latter). The moment you place a warm hand against his face he decides he doesn't care.

"Hey Bruiser," you say quietly, smiling softly as your thumb wipes a drop of water from his cheek, "you're safe, the boys are on their way." The sound of your voice pours into him like warm honey and he closes his eyes with a sigh.

Reaching up to the back of your head, he pulls you gently toward him to rest your forehead against his. It was something you started doing to him not long after you became close, whenever he would get really worked up. You weren't sure if it was the physical proximity or the emotional comfort, but it seemed to help ground him. In reality, it's the closest he would ever allow himself to kissing you, and that thought by itself was very, very grounding.

But he is still warming up, still half conscious. You are filling his senses and it's overwhelming. The curtain of your hair falls around his face, and he feels drunk on your scent. You're so soft beneath his hands and the one around your waist tightens gently.

There is only about two more weeks left in the season, but it's by no means over, and something old and primal stirs in his DNA. He presses your head more firmly against his as intelligence and instinct battle within him for control.

You are his *mate*. And it is *time*. And you are *right here*.

Besides, regardless of whether he's dreaming or dead, it doesn't ultimately matter. He can't hurt you if you aren't real.

He lifts his chin, brushing his lips softly against yours. When you don't pull away in disgust he grows a little more bold, and kisses you in earnest.

It would be a lie to say that you hadn't been thinking about it more-or-less from the beginning, how different it would feel than kissing a human. Admittedly, you'd been a little worried about the mechanics, but any concerns you had dissolve when his mouth fits so perfectly against yours.

His body still feels like lead, but his mind is growing sharper, and about the time you are kissing him back he realizes how very real this is. Unfortunately, his reptile brain realizes it first.

His hand grips your waist as his kiss deepens, and there is a deep rumble within his chest that you can feel inside your own. When his thumb brushes over your abdomen you can't help the involuntary sound that escapes you.

The sound is like a starting pistol and suddenly you're flush against him and his mouth is on your throat, pressing open mouthed kisses along your jawline, blood burning in his veins at the way your heartbeat quickens under his tongue.

You had to stop this. If this was going to happen it shouldn't be like this. Right now he's borderline drugged, and if you let this happen and he later thought you didn't actually want it? You can't imagine the fallout.

But you'd had a few glasses of wine this evening, and Gods, he felt *so* good.

When his teeth graze your pulse point your attempt at a deep breath becomes a gasp, and you close your eyes to steady yourself. You had to get his attention.

You attempt to say his name, but it tumbles out of your mouth as a sigh.

"... want you..." He murmurs into your shoulder. The way his breath scatters over your skin like a shower of sparks is doing nothing to help you regain control of yourself or the situation.

He begins kissing down to your clavicle, both hands now at your waist, and despite knowing what this is, where it's going, and why it needs to stop, you can't help placing a hand on the back of his head to pull him closer.

"Sweetheart, we should really talk about this first..." you attempt again, but the tremor in your voice is the only thing that seems to register.

He holds onto you like a lifeline, as if he was drowning and you were his only oxygen. When he grips you tighter and his thumb presses into the hollow of your hip, you almost buckle. A moan escapes, despite your best efforts, and your nails scrape against the back of his neck.

The rumble in his chest grows deeper and he shifts beneath you, movement becoming easier as his temperature rises.

The sound of three very heavy things landing very softly comes from overhead.

The two of you break apart, flushed and breathless, and look at each other in shock.

You glance at the fire escape when you hear the metal rattle outside, before looking back into bewildered amber eyes.

"We're gonna talk about this," you say. He looks at you as if he doesn't understand. "When this is all over, and your brain is no longer swimming in hormone soup... We're gonna talk about this..."

He blinks up at you, a hesitant hope blossoming behind his eyes as you smile down at him, "... because I'm tired of not talking about it."

(Fin)

[faeyramaeyra]

Hey! I dont know if you have already, but do you have a guide on what you NEED to know as a beginner?

🌷 Beginner Advice/Guide 🌷

As a beginner, You should be learning “The Golden Five” (as I like to call them) before anything else. They include: Grounding, Cleansing, Warding, Protection and Banishing. You can find information for these literally anywhere but I’m more than happy to cover them!

I will also cover some extra things too that are just handy to know/keep in mind!

Grounding

Grounding is something good to know in general, Not just for spirituality/paganism. The principle behind it is that you want to use techniques that calm/relax you (send you into your comfort/happy place) so you can focus on the here and now. I hope this makes sense. Meditation is a form of grounding!

Cleansing

Cleansing is the act of getting rid of any unwanted or negative energies etc. Different methods are used for this but the most common are smoke cleansing (using incense or even candle smoke for example), sound cleansing (using the sound of bells for example) and water (example: some people use moon water or create little bags of herbs they use in the shower/bath to cleanse themselves). There are plenty of other methods too but those are the ones I see used most often! Just use whatever works for you. A good incense to use if you like smoke cleansing but are prone to headaches (coming from someone who has chronic migraines) is frankincense and myrrh. A lot of people recommend dragons blood but for me it’s too strong.

Warding

The simple explanation for this one is that wards repel or trap any negative energies/entities/etc that attempt to attach to you or enter your space. People also use wards as defensive barriers against baneful workings. I have a guide on making a plant ward on my page that you could give a quick read but there are other methods too. I have enchanted witches bells that hang on my doorway for example. A common ward I see is salt along doorways, windowsills or any other point of entry into your space. Depending on the energy and intent you place into wards, Some may need to be renewed often and others may be okay for months.

Protection

This is the act of protecting yourself from unwanted/negative energies, backfired spell work, entities you may encounter etc. I have a more in depth guide on my page about why protection is important. Some common protection methods include: crystals and crystal jewellery, witches bottles, candles (use black ones for protection or you can substitute them with white candles as long as you set the intention of protection into them), drawing a pentagram on the roof of your mouth with your tongue and many more. Just use whatever works for you and your practice!

Banishing

Banishing is the act of getting rid of something, Not just repelling it. Most commonly it’s used to get rid of entities that try to attach themselves to you or enter your space but it can also be used to get rid of baneful workings, unwanted spell work results etc. This works for me (for entities) but may not for others: Opening a door or window and telling the entity to leave while shoving it out pretty much.

Extras

- Research closed practices. Learn why they are closed, who they are closed to, what practices are closed etc so you don’t unintentionally/accidentally appropriate a practice. Note: You shouldn’t be doing/using things from closed practices if you are not a part of them.

- Have a grimoire or book of shadows. A book of shadows/grimoire is basically a journal of all the knowledge you have learned throughout your practice. It’s a place you can find answers from or just give yourself a refresh on a topic. It’s like when you would write down everything you learnt in class.

- Meditation is the basis of everything. You need to be grounded and you need to be in tune with yourself for things like divination (as one example) to go smoothly. Try different methods of meditation, Find out what works for you. For example, I struggle to meditate unless the room is pitch black, there is no noise and I am laid down. Other people may benefit more from things like guided meditations which you can easily find on YouTube.

- Be careful of what information you take from social media. Always properly research a subject, cross reference resources and make sure the source is not problematic. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of misinformation and potentially harmful activities being promoted on platforms such as tik tok.

🌷Recommended YouTubers 🌷

Below is a list of YouTubers that I would personally recommend for useful information:

- The Witch of Wonderlust (Great source of information for beginners. Has plenty of videos to do with cleansing, protection and banishing. One of my go tos for witchy content.)

- The Norse Witch (Has plenty of information for beginners as well as additional information about Norse Paganism if that’s an interest. Occasionally does unboxings for witchcraft subscription boxes if you are interested in those.)

- The witches cookery (Has a great playlist called “Witchcraft 101” which has some great “how to” and “witchy tips” videos. Also features a lot of information for kitchen and green witches.)

Side note: There are probably more content creators out there that are worth recommending but I rarely use YouTube anymore so I’m not too up to date on witchy channels on there.

Sorry this post took me so long to write, I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life today that I’ve had to prioritise. I hope this helps even a little! 💕

Tip-Jar and Readings

[creacherkeeper]

happy pride everyone

for some reason i was sitting outside this morning and enjoying some shockingly not boiling hot weather and reflecting on a post i had made like ... 12 years ago on here that "blew up" (like 60k notes on early days tumblr) and thinking like. wow i sure do know a lot more about myself now that makes all that make sense but

the post was someone saying like. hey how can you call yourself an atheist and support gay people because gay people go against the concept of evolution. and my reply was like. actually there are gay members of like every social species weve studied it in and i had a bunch of facts laid out about all the different very gay animals of this world (like giraffes having very largely m/m sex)

but now, like 12 years later, i am thinking about human evolution and queer identity and thought it would be fun to talk about. i am by far not an expert and so if there are experts who want to correct me or talk more in depth about this Please jump in but

... why did humans evolve to be queer anyway?

very short answer: because its helpful to raising kids

longer answer: though its debated whether humans are a prosocial or eusocial species, it is agreed upon that early humans cooperatively raised young, including those that they did not personally sire or give birth to, and that we lived in multi-generation communities where younger members would help raise older members offspring, and vice versa

(note: im using the terms amab and afab for human populations potentially pre concepts of gender but work with me here, i dont want to keep repeating genitalia or genomes when those arent always a helpful 1 to 1 either. sex is a spectrum gender is made up etc support intersex rights)

we know that due to fraternal birth order effect (npr link), youre 33% more likely to be gay with each older amab sibling that you have (not 33% total, but 33% more, so like 2% to 2.6 to 3.5 etc). this is true of both amab and afab people with older amab siblings. we also know that a birthing parent having more of a specific antibody makes their children more likely to be gay (and that antibody is not exclusive to but is highly tied to giving birth to amab children)

in addition, evolutionarily speaking, its just as advantageous for your siblings children to do well than it is for yours to. its incredibly rare you would happen to have a very helpful mutation that your siblings dont have. which means that your siblings kids would be about 25% amab grandparent, 25% afab grandparent, and 50% a parent who is unrelated to you. this is exactly the same for your own children

okay, so what does that mean?

to put it simply, it means that having older siblings, specifically older siblings who are more easily able to sire more children, makes you more likely to end up in a same-sex couple, which means you are two adults with no children who are now around to help raise children you are equally invested in the success of than if they were your own

the more older youth or adults you have around to help who are not also using up a bunch of resources by being pregnant and having non-helping-age children, the better off that community's children will be. more people to hunt and gather and create resources like tools, which means everyone prospers, especially the kids

or, to frame it from the opposite view: having gay siblings means your children are more likely to survive and thrive

(kind of funny how conservatives are like gay people shouldnt be around children when the entire point of our evolutionary development was that we were great to have around if you had kids but like. alas)

so, thats the very basic core of it. but you can apply this concept to a lot of queer identities. aroace? working adult around to help who is not bringing in an unrelated partner or having kids. trans? you now either have an m/f couple who can fill two different social niches without having kids, or you have a gay couple who is able to do more varied physical tasks whether or not they do have kids. bi people may have kids or may not, or their children may be more spread out if they have partners of different sexes over time

not to mention you kind of have some built in, ready to go parents in the case that another community member dies, and there are now orphans that need raising. its a lot harder for someone whos already a parent to take on more children, as opposed to an adult couple who doesnt have any

so yeah :) were queer because we were helpful to have in communities and allowed everyone, but especially youth, to prosper and thrive

tl;dr: queer people were an evolutionary advantage to have in an early community because we were helping-age members who were able to cooperatively raise young and take on orphans without using up resources on birthing and raising our own young

yay science :o) happy pride everyone!!!

[damagedcoda6669]

how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

[bobacupcake]

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but do you need to be good at math to understand shader programming?

short answer: no !!!

longer answer: there can definitely be a decent amount of math in shader programming, but the number of math things you need to learn is like, fairly limited, and you dont necessarily have to learn How they work, just what they do

the two biggest Math Things that you will run into in shader programming are dot products (kind of simple) and matrix multiplication (hellish), but when you break them down into what they actually do it can be pretty intuitive. and when you know them, you are set for like 95% of shader math unless you want to start doing things that involve like, diving into research papers

lets say dot product for example, which is probably the math concept you use the Most, instead of thinking of it like a math equation, you can just think of it as how close two directions are to eachother

this is the one thats used All The Time since its essentially your main way of comparing the direction of light (or anything else) with the direction of the surface of your objects (the normal)

matrix multiplication is harder but, you arent actually doing the matrix multiplication, so you can just treat it as a black box that converts points in 3d space from one "space" to another

it's a bit more to wrap your head around, but luckily, unless you are doing some fancier stuff, you will be doing the exact same matrix multiplication Every Time and most programs even handle all of it for you!! in unity, literally all i have to do is add this line to all my shaders (or i would if it wasn't already there in every base shader i make)

so, Yes there is some fancy math going on underneath, but you can absolutely do shader programming without being good at it . sorry if this seems intimidating i went a bit more in depth than i needed to but i promise even if this ^ all went over your head you are 100% fine

[nr1chaedickrider]

It's all in my head, who do I trust? - I thought that you loved me, what is happening to us?

anyway, don't be a stranger.

2 new messages,

[user: momo]

'Hey'

...

'Happy birthday,

I did not forget.'

...

'meet me at han river in 10?'

...

'okay.'

-

The cold night air hits Jihyo's face, giving her goosebumps.

It's completly empty except for some couples sitting on the grass.

It makes her wish that she would be one of them.

She puts her hands inside of the pockets of her jacket.

She reaches a familiar bench.

It makes her think, about the old times.

About her first kiss.

About the confession of love in the rain - like a romantic movie that would have the watchers sobbing in their seats.

It got her sobbing too, in the depth of the night.

When she feels lonely, and vunerable.

A side of her that she doesn't want anyone to see.

She sits down on the bench, staring at the water.

She tries to lean back, tries to relax.

How is she able to relax if exactly she was the first person to congratulate her on her birthday?

"Jihyo" says Momo in a soft voice.

How is she supposed to relax when she says her name like that?

She looks up, from the water, and looks Momo in the eyes before she joins her on the bench.

They both stare at the water, without saying anything.

Even though people would describe Jihyo as someone that always has something to say, as someone that can't stay silent for too long, she has no idea what to say in this moment.

But that is nothing new to Jihyo, or to Momo, moments like these, in silence, are nothing new to them.

Jihyo decides to break the silence though.

"I only allow myself to miss you at night, I miss you in the secret -

because thats how it should be." she says, it comes out as a whisper.

It's an impulsive thought.

Momo looks at her, nods a little, then looks back at the river.

"Do you still think of me sometimes?" Jihyo asks.

She wishes she didn't ask that question after thinking about it long enough.

She wishes she didn't answer Momo's stupid texts.

She knows what her answer is going to be, something like a "no, I dont, not really."

But she is actually surprised when Momo answers.

"I do.

A lot actually"

This time Jihyo looks at Momo, without saying anything.

It feels like they are having an pointless conversation, with no goal or no end.

"Sometimes I want to text you -

but then I remember" Momo says.

Jihyo thinks she even heard a little sob when Momo said it.

But she doesn't want to think about it too much.

It's silent again, both watching people slowly leave the river.

The couples leave together, hand in hand.

Jihyo gets emotional seeing it.

"Atleast we are under the same sky" Jihyo says.

She feels the tears coming, but tries to hold them back.

"Maybe in another universe" Momo says, or rather, whispers.

And Jihyo is definetly sure that she heard a sob.

"I'm starting to forget you, I'm starting to forget us -

and it scares me." Jihyo says.

It's pointless.

This conversation.

They are both pathetically crying, like little, spoiled children that got their candy taken away.

They try to focus on the han river infront of them, they try to ignore the fact that this,

somehow is a goodbye.

"Can we have one more meaningless conversation?" Jihyo asks, even thought she already knows the answer to her stupid question.

"It's too late" Momo answers.

And she is right, she is so fucking right.

But Jihyo doesn't want it to be true.

Jihyo just wishes they could go back to talking once in a while because one of them is feeling alone in the middle of the night.

It doesn't need to be constant texting.

Just every now and then.

"I don't want to forget your voice"

She is trying to drag this out, to stop Momo from leaving.

"Or anything about you." Jihyo says, looking down onto her lap.

She watches her tears dropping onto her black jeans.

"I will look at the stars every night -

and I will think of you" Momo answers.

"My birthday wish for you is to let go" Momo says as she stands up.

Jihyo doesn't stop her when she starts walking.

She knows she can't stop her.

She knows she couldn't.

So instead of running after her, or leaving to walk to her apartment, she just watches Momo leave.

Her figure disappears in the darkness of the night.

"Anyway,

don't be a stranger." she whispers.

[risquefanfics457]

Could you maybe do a stardust crusaders imagine but with a reader who starts having a sensory meltdown? i'm neurodivergent, and I sometimes get those overloads?

i put a link to what a sensory overload is. you dont have to answer, but i enjoy your wrting

https://www.health.qld.gov.au/newsroom/features/sensory-overload-is-real-and-can-affect-any-combination-of-the-bodys-five-senses-learn-ways-to-deal-with-it#:~:text=Sensory%20overload%20is%20when%20your,%2C%20flight%2C%20or%20freeze%20mode.

I hear you. Sensory overloads can be hell. Neurodiverents unite!

You didn't specify if it was romantic or platonic so I'm going to keep it platonic.

Anyway, ENJOY!

JOSEPH

Joseph has gotten used to handling situations that are overwhelming. He’s grown to be more quiet overtime, but let’s be honest here, it’s still Joseph. He’s going to worry. When you begin to look uncomfortable, he’s going to ask what’s up. Don’t lie to him, he can tell something is wrong, the man is a father, and he learned the tell tale signs of discomfort with his own little family. 

When he asks and you don’t respond immediately, he’s going to pause and pull you aside to make sure you heard him. 

“Y/N, are you alright?”

“…”

“Are you feeling unwell? Sick?”

You shrug

“Okay, let’s sit down.” He puts his hand on your arm and you flinch at the contact, which makes the overstimulation flare. When you yank your arm away from him, he’s going to be suspicious that maybe there’s a much bigger issue at play but he’s going to lead you away from the crowd and get you to sit.

“Can you tell me what’s the matter?”

A panic attack seizes in your throat and he can see it, “Can you talk to me?”

Your palms sweat and shake your head with shame.

“Okay, well, can you point to anything that you need?”

You shake your head again, closing your eyes, trying to avoid the harsh light.

“Okay…” Joseph tries to problem solve, “Can you point to what is bothering you?”

You manage to your ears

“Your ears hurt?”

You shake your head

“Is something in your ear?”

You shake your head again, this time covering your ears.

“It’s too loud.” He realizes. He thinks for a moment. “Hold on.”

You notice he pulls something from his pocket, earbuds. Connected to them is a Walkman, he unplugs them and holds the cord out to you, “you can put them in, it’s not much, but they’ll make it a bit quieter until I can find some earplugs.”

It’s a few minutes before Joseph comes back and puts a pair of earplugs beside you and a pair of headphones, “Use either. They’re the highest quality, so don’t worry.”

JOTARO

Jotaro can’t lose it. He’s got too much riding on him. If things go sideways, he would never forgive himself for the consequences, that is if he made it out alive. Because of this, Jotaro isn’t very in touch with his own emotions and prefers to keep them tamped down and if not in danger, he might actively ignore some signs of a sensory overload. He just doesn’t have the mental capacity to deal with it. Don’t mistake this for a lack of empathy or effort, he’s just way out of his depth here. That being said, if things really escalate, he might snap at you, thinking he can get you to act ‘reasonable’ if you take notice of how you’re feeling and pull yourself out of it on your own.

“Hey, quit muttering! It’s damn annoying.”

When you cover your ears and whimper, he feels something in his chest ache. 

He made it worse. He gets up from his hotel bed, huffs and goes to sit a bit closer to you but not too close, he gets wanting personal space, “I didn’t think you’d be that sensitive.” He pulls his hat over his eyes.

When things stay quiet, and he doesn’t really know what to say, he might ask you if you need anything. He’s frustrated. He gets when the world is just too full of pointless talking and noise, but watching you suffer, well, it was a new perspective. Jotaro wants to understand, but now he doesn’t know if it’s even his business. He’d leave you alone, but stand users lurk around every corner, and he’d be damned if he was leaving you alone in this state.

Fuck. What do you even do in this kind of situation. People don’t really cry or breakdown in front of him, not unless they were babies. You weren’t a baby. But that was the closest thing he had to what was going on. Babies get upset if they’re overwhelmed and need a nap…

Jotaro drapes the sheets of the hotel bed over you and closes the curtains, “I’ll be on the patio.” He grabs a book. He doesn’t expect an answer. If you need him, you know where he’ll be. 

POLNAREFF

Polnareff is pretty clueless. He means well, promise, He just hasn’t been a person people look up to for guidance and support for a while. Polnareff is a funny and flirty guy a lot of the time. He understands sorrow and grief, but he also knows when he should distance himself from things if they get in the way of the objective. Well, he’s better at it now. He’s been on a long journey of suffering to get closure because of his sister’s death. This all means he’s all too familiar with personal meltdowns, but not somebody else’s. Polnareff will first start picking up on your sensory overstimulation when you start to lag behind everybody else.

“Hey, Y/N, pick up the pace. You’re going to still be in Aswan by the time we’re in Cairo.”

You didn’t reply. He notices this and hangs back while the rest of the crusaders keep moving but will slow a bit so they don’t get out of eyesight. They tell Polnareff to be quick, because they need to keep moving. 

“You’re going a bit slow, mon ami.” He remarks

You hide your face.

“Oh? Too hot? I get it, I’ve been wearing this rag. I found it at a market. When we get to Luxor, maybe you should get one for yourself.” He points at the cooling towel on his head and shoulders. You don’t respond and just try to stay quiet and breathe.

“Man, you aren’t this quiet most of the time. I mean, you talk a fair amount, but you’re acting like a recluse.” He says without much understanding.

Your shoulders haunch with shame. He doesn’t get it.

“Maybe you’re hungry, or thirsty.” He guesses, “Mr. Joestar has a canteen, but you’ll have to pick up the pace to get it.”

Still, no sign you’d even heard him.

“Y/N, are you even listening to me?”

It was then he noticed you shaking, “Hey, Y/N, are you hurt?” When you don’t say anything, but shake your head, he yells out to the group, “Hold up! Y/N might be hurt!”

You bury your face in your hands, his yelling setting you off even more. This becomes a back and forth movement to counter the overstimulation. He notices the rocking and checks you for injuries, “Where is it? Who was it? Was this the work of an enemy stand?”

You shake your head vigorously. 

“What?” His concerned look mixes with confusion, “I don’t get it, what’s going on then?”

Your hands shake as you crouch down and try to hide. 

“Polnareff, what’s going on back there?” You can hear Joseph’s gruff voice.

Avdol ends up coming and looking you over, “Stress.” He says plainly, “Or something along those lines.”

“Stress? Stress can manifest like this?” Polnareff asks

Avdol nodded, “It can even overwhelm the senses.”

“Okay, which senses are bothering you?” The silver haired man asks.

You clench your eyes closed and point to them and your ears. “Sound and sight.” He says, “What about touch? 

Your answer is a hand moving side to side, ‘a bit’. 

“What if we stopped for an hour or so, just find a place that’s cool and quiet?” He asks.

You nodded. “Okay, can you stand?” He asks. You sign back ‘a bit’ again.

He nods, “Can I take your arm and lead you?” 

You nod.

“Alright, we’re going to take care of you, Y/N, don’t you worry.” He says gently.

AVDOL

Avdol picks up on this SO fast. This man is a reader, not just the book type, but he reads people as a living. He might even notice something is off before you do. Like the amount of people bustling about, the crowds and the people who accidentally bump into you. He’ll talk to Joseph and you and advise a quieter route. Unfortunately, this is the fastest way to get through. A detour would cost the group precious time. Avdol will instead hang at the back of the group with you and ask you what you need. Avdol is also much faster in places like markets because he’s grown up around them. In this case, if he’s sure you’ll be okay for a few minutes, he’ll haggle and find you something that might help.

“Where’s Avdol gone off to?” Polnareff asks Joseph

“He’s picking up a few necessities.” Joseph replies, he’ll meet back up with us in a few minutes, if he doesn’t we’ll assume he’s in danger and move quickly to a quieter location in case there’s a stand user in this crowd. I don’t want civilians involved in anything harmful.” He says gruffly

You walked behind Jotaro, his tall stature making people stare and move around him, maybe in respect or trepidation. You got bumped into less this way. “I’m back, Mr. Joestar.” Avdol seamlessly weaves his way back to the front of the group.

“Welcome back. Y/N is in the back behind Jotaro, maybe he’s good at blocking out the sun.” He grins playfully

Avdol nods in good humour and squeezes onto the back of the group. He walks beside you, giving you a foot of room on one side to ensure nobody brushes against you when you’re already overwhelmed. He holds out a small box, inside there are wax earplugs. And in one of his deep pockets he produces a beaded bracelet, “These are to cancel the noise, and if you need to keep your hands moving, you can rotate the beads in your hand.” You take the gift and look at him with surprise. “I don’t mind.” He says with a smile, “I can see that you’re struggling. We need to build each other up on this journey, so if there’s anything else you’re in need of, just communicate in anyway you find comfortable.” Your smile of gratitude is all he needs. He’ll hang back with you for as long as you need it. 

KAKYOIN

Does this guy get neurodivergence or what? Kakyoin spent a lot of time alone. He didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. He learned to communicate in lots of ways. Verbal wasn’t always his strong suit anyway. If there is anybody who understands isolating one’s self because you are different, it’s him. Jotaro isolates, not because he’s entirely socially awkward, it’s also because he just doesn’t want to. Kakyoin wants people to know who he is, more than that, he knows being a bit different comes with its own experiences and self-honed skills. He’s going to pick up on you retreating back into yourself in the beginning, not as fast as Avdol. He’s not a people reader after all, that being said, he is a people watcher. For years, Kakyoin watched people from afar, this helped him understand other people’s friendships and relationships. He’s also learned a lot. When you’re on your own, you don’t exactly get distracted by other people asking you to join them in things. So he’s read quite a bit, even on neurodivergence. He can spot the overload in a few minutes and get into action. He gets up from the seat on the train he’s in and sits next to you.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

No answer. “Is it stress, or maybe are you just overwhelmed?”

You looked up at him, not expecting him to understand.

“Overwhelmed?”

You nod and stare at the ground.

“Is there anything I can do?” 

You have a moment to think, but you’ve gone nonverbal at this point, and realize you can’t really act out what you need because it’s a bit complex.

“Hmm…” Kakyoin thinks for a monent and then pulls out a notepad from his uniform

You look at him quizzically. 

“I’m a student, I always have this on me to take notes.”

You smile up at him.

“Here.” He hands it to you, along with a pen.

You jot some things down.

“Too bright, too many sounds, chairs bad texture.” 

“Yeah, I bet there’s years worth of dust in these.” He chuckles, “I have a scarf, maybe we can put that around your eyes? Or your ears like earmuffs?” 

You nod and jot something else down, “Is the scarf soft?”

“Yes, it is. My mom bought it for me when we travelled to Egypt the first time.” He smiles and goes to get the scarf. 

He comes back and sits next to you, “If you need anything else, write it down for me, and I’ll be happy to get it.” He relaxes in the seat next to you, “Promise.”

[the-lonelyshepherd]

im sorry im stumbled upon your poll

can you explain from where the trans travis martinez comes?

or point me to the posts about that analysis

i just dont see it

you dont have to.do it if you think it'll bring the haters. thx

Hi! yeah um no worries i’m always happy to answer questions.

tldr in the words of @periwinklekryptonite

but if you want some more in depth personally for me it’s because of the themes of yellowjackets. it’s a story very much centered around girlhood, ESPECIALLY in the wilderness. 

(gonna be using she her for travis. for the sake of the post)

we start off with only three guys - javi, travis, ben (coach martinez immediately dies lmao)

lets look at each of their fates - javi? killed and eaten. ben? isolated, off in his own world and… probably going to be killed and eaten. but the outlier is none other than travis. why? she becomes part of the group. 

the wilderness is at its core a place where there’s a complete shift in power and gender dynamics. in early season one travis plays up this big though guy, something that she very clearly is not. and everyone can tell because it doesn’t work out in the slightest. similarly to ben, besides his hunting (and other stuff) trips with nat he’s relatively outcasted from the rest of the girls. it’s when we get into season two when things really start to change. after javis disappearance it’s a rough spiral for travis, out of the rigid social dynamics of wiskayok new fucking jersey and into the fluid and very female wilderness. 

i’m not like. a pioneer of this idea at all and it’s relatively new to me but it is something i thing is very very compelling and interesting and i do really think it makes sense. i do think @periwinklekryptonite’s (though introductory) write up is very very good and he’s writing more in the future i think so im going to add that here vvv

i’ve also written an analysis on that travlottienat scene in Edible Complex and i do talk a little more in depth about Travis’s relationship with femininity

AND EDITING TO ADD LIKE THE MOST INSANE AMAZING THING IVE EVER READ THAT JUST DROPPED LIKE TEN MIN AGO BY @cannibalizedyke GENUINELY JAW ON THE FLOOR

yeah it’s a headcanon but it works. pretty well imo and it would make a lot of sense narratively and is just overall fun. i love her :)

[sparring-spirals]

I need to yell about fcg and *specifically* this great post that you wrote ( https://www.tumblr.com/sparring-spirals/747570433506902016/okay-after-some-sleep-back-on-my-bullshit-lets ) because it made me realize that I really, truly hope Laura will remember she took off her circlet moments before the bang and Imogen had the chance to hear that fcg was at peace with this decision, not because they were trying to be a martyr, but because they had a true chance to save their friends, knowing full well that detonating *would* be a sacrifice because their life *did* matter.

(I hope sending asks is okay, sorry to barge in like this)

Ahw, hell yeah, glad the post hit hard, recontextualizing it in my head helped a lot with chewing through my feelings about. All of this. I'm always okay with asks!! As long as folks are aware I am not necessarily going to agree with every ask that comes in, and more critically, sometimes I disappear off the face of the Earth for a while, dont answer asks, and then feel too embarassed about answering them so much later/get asks about something I didnt watch, go "ah ill answer when i watch it" and then. Well.

(To the various people who sent the total 12 asks that have been sitting in my box for over a year now. I am. So sorry.)

Honestly, I didnt even think about the possibility that Imogen might have heard it, goddamn. Fascinating. I was fully bracing myself for Bell's Hells just- never knowing, and them having to grapple with it. Which. Takes me out at the knees, tbh. I hesitate to speculate on it too much when the episode is going to come out Thursday and probably prove me wrong, but. God, there's no world where the Bell's Hells would instinctively know that F.C.G had made the call with that attitude, and fuck, that puts all of it into a different light, clearly.

I'm a little apprehensive and tbh deeply curious to see how the Bell's Hells take this- the depth of the loss, the sudden nature of it, the victory against Otohan probably not even feeling that way. Maybe wanting to honor F.C.G's sacrifice but. Probably. And understandably. Angry at them for making that call, but he's not. Even there for them to be angry at. So what then? So what then? They can have all these feelings and have all these questions about why he did it, about what he was thinking, and he's not there to answer them, and that's the issue.

If Imogen did hear his last thoughts, this elevates it into a different kind of heartbreaking, but probably still easier overall. The world where they don't know. Is. A more tricky one to navigate, for sure.

But also if I'm being honest. I am not opposed to how the cast would have the Bell's Hells experience and explore that scenario. So i mean. I mean. I hope so too. But if Imogen didnt. Consider me buckled in for whatever happens.

[frodolives]

I've decided that I would like to understand what my mutuals see in the old man music cinematic universe. I have loved and supported their derangement from afar in my life and would like to dip my toes in, so to speak. so I come to you humble now and ask: where can I get information about the beatles that will make me think about old British boy band members exploring eachothers bodies? if it helps, I dont mind their more well known music, but I've never really dug into it properly.

Oh man. You've no idea how tough this is to answer lol. My derangement regarding the Beatles has been built up over 6 years now and I hardly remember how it even began.

I suppose that yes, if you're new, you should begin with listening to all their music because it's genuinely very good stuff. Their filmography is also good. If you haven't seen any of their films yet, it's a great place to start because the Beatles' looks, personalities, and sense of humour are just as important to understanding their appeal as their music is (in order: A Hard Day's Night (1964), Help! (1965), Magical Mystery Tour (1967), Yellow Submarine (1968), and Let It Be (1970) - most of these should be free to watch on Dailymotion).

If you're very serious about the Beatles and into the history on an actual academic level, this is a pretty good list of free resources to browse through.

My personal introduction into becoming an actual gay Beatles truther was a series of fan-made documentaries on YouTube called Understanding Lennon-McCartney. It's been a very long time since I've seen them, but I remember them blowing my mind and making me believe in the concept of soulmates. As fun as it is to make jokes about the Beatles exploring each other's bodies, there's something genuinely profound and beautiful about Lennon and McCartney's relationship that shouldn't be overlooked. Chris Evans said it best:

The Understanding Lennon-McCartney documentaries series is also just the most comprehensive overview of McLennon that I know of, even if it's semi-outdated now. I watched them in 2019 and even in just the last 5 years, a lot of new McLennon info has come out. We are truly living in the golden age of Beatles RPF.

One of the biggest recent developments was Peter Jackson's 2021 Get Back series. They're basically a revamped version of Let It Be (1970) and also required viewing at some point. I know a lot of Beatles fans who were introduced to the band via Get Back so I suppose it's not a bad place to start if you're so inclined, though since they chronicle some of the last days of the band, I think they can be best appreciated if you're already at least somewhat familiar with the boys.

After watching all of that, I think you'll have a pretty decent foundation of what people on Tumblr are talking about. Then oddly enough, I'd consider Tumblr the best resource for info. There's more in-depth Beatles talk on here than any other website as far as I know and, in my experience, I learned a lot just by freely exploring various tags and blogs.

There's also the Beatles biopic cinematic universe which is worth dipping your toes into if you like RPF and want an entertaining way to learn the gist of the band's history. There's a lot of low budget biopics out there about those boys. Even I haven't seen them all yet so I wouldn't say watching them is an absolute must, though there's three iconic "gay john lennon biopics" that are entertaining bc of how genuinely gay they are: The Hours and Times 1991 (about John's relationship to Brian Epstein), Backbeat 1994 (about John's relationship to Stuart Sutcliffe), and Two of Us 2000 (about John's relationship to Paul McCartney; the most iconic and revered of all Beatles biopics).

I don't really know what other reccs to give. If anybody wants to chime in with other suggestions, go forth! There's just so much Beatles lore and it's easy to become overwhelmed by it all so definitely take your time lol. And if you ever have any specific questions about the Beatles, I'd be very happy to answer them!

Happy RPFing!

[kings-highway]

Sneaking into the advice corner: how do you write non-serious but also non-crack conversations? How do you balance the mundane friendship-building levity bits with the need for purpose and capturing the themes or progression you need without jumping directly into the heavy stuff?

Thank you!

so so so sorry it took me so long to answer this one! just busy and wanted to make sure I could give it the attention it deserves

now, obviously, the master key to this kind of question is just to understand people very very very well, because all questions of dialogue sort of eventually become questions of psyche, but thats a lot of work so Im gonna run through some things I use to address a few of the points mentioned above: non-serious but non-crack; balance between levity and seriousness; and how to avoid jumping into the hard stuff.

1. Non-Serious but Non-Crack

this answer might not gel with everyone but the truth is... just write the crack conversations. based on some comments ive seen on my own stories recently, fandom has turned the word "crack" into anything that isnt intended to be emotionally enlightening or significant. you might be looking at perfectly normal conversations as crack conversations. Or, you might be VASTLY overestimating the average intelligence of the conversations between friends. People are WEIRD. As long as you play it straight and dont make a joke out of your own writing, you can pass off pretty much anything as non-crack if its meant to be characters goofing around and being silly. How the fuck else do you think I pulled off daichi straight up biting a pencil in half in TETRIA or the Peace Sign in In The Woods? Crack content played straight is just regular funny.

2. Balance

im gonna say one piece real quick and then go more in depth.

**Your funny ha-ha jokes have to come before your serious Oh-Nos**

If you finish a serious conversation with a stupid joke, you've ruined the serious conversation. If you finish a joke by having the characters somber up, you've heightened the intensity with the contrast of humour. You know that scene in Mulan where they transition from "A Girl Worth Fighting For" into gazing into a razed village? Imagine how fucking annoying the scene would be if they found that village, and then when marching off to continue on their way broke into that song exactly as it was performed? Terrible. [TBH this mostly applies to scenes that flow into each other, not so much if they are separated by chapters, scene breaks or time skips.]

A much more challenging piece of advice is to try and have a good mental map of how all your characters feel about certain topics/emotions. for example, if you want your character to be avoidant of feelings, theres no reason to make them bad at avoiding feelings, you can use genuinely funny jokes to break up serious conversations and distract the reader (and other characters) exactly as the avoidant character intends to. This just requires some awareness of your scene and will carry more of a weight on the other characters who may realize (or come to realize) what that character is doing. etc, etc. For all types. This sort of transitions into the last one...

3. When to Get Serious (And How to Make It Natural)

now you've probably heard the classic writing advice "people will say everything except what they want to say" and I have a LOT of issues with that for various reasons, but its a good benchmark for understanding the timing on these things. Saying what you Want can be almost impossible. If youve ever had to break bad news to someone - and I mean really bad news, "someone passed away" bad news - youll know how paralyzing doing so can be. You end up doing everything BUT saying that. You pick up a glass sitting on the table and make a joke about how, from the corner of your eye, you thought there was a spider in it. This isnt true, youre making it up you need to tell them something important. You both laugh about how gross that would be. you need to tell them. You think it'll kill you if you say the words out loud but you need to say something so you joke about what would have happened if youd poured yourself some water and there was a spider inside. This is supposed to be a conversation about their father passing away. And now youre talking about drinking spiders. Everyone is laughing. (crack conversation amirite?)

Look, I have severe anxiety about expressing my wants and this bullshit happens to everyone. Do you know how many days I spent telling my roommate about the plotlines of haikyuu before finally suggesting we should watch it together? SO MANY. Because I was just terrified of rejection. This works for everything. People HATE feeling bad. People hate feeling bad so much they'll do the weirdest shit to avoid it. And honestly that's when you get your best humour.

Of course, similarly, since people hate that feeling, they're often likely to COPE by making quips. Typically, if two characters are fighting each other, I find it better for them to be 100% serious. BUT if two characters are communicating while fighting a 3rd thing, theyre WAY more likely to start making little one liners. Obviously if its the climax of your story, hold off, but the very classic "WATCH OUT!" "NO I WAS JUST PLANNING ON GETTING PUNCHED THANKS FOR THAT." (screamed across a field mid fight) kinda never goes out of style. you just dont want people making jokes WITH the things theyre fighting (in my opinion) - this whole concept can be combined with point 2, where these jokes can be inserted in a climactic conlict only BEFORE the emotional beat hits.

But when it comes to timing, it can be hard. Here are a few quick things to keep in mind:

1. If there is external pressure (man coming to kill you RIGHT NOW) that anxiety disappears. These are the scenes you want to break into 100% seriousness right away.

2. If there is tension to break or potential conflict between characters (are YOU the Killer??) characters will avoid this like the plague. Beat around the bush. Possibly for as many scenes as it takes to turn it into a #1

3. If there is bad news or a message to deliver (Your Mom was Killed by the KILLER.) you can hesitate and beat around the bush but it probably should be passed along in that scene.

4. do NOT try and break the tension with humour AFTER the intensity. Sincerity is a good thing, and allowing your intense scenes to be intense and to be heavy and serious even if theyre not funny is really important.

and finally, of course... all advice to be taken with a grain of salt. If you write a scene that breaks all of this advice, and you love it, and its exactly what you want... then that scene is perfectly written. Do what makes you happy.

thanks again!

[understandableparadox]

I think a fundamental problem with a lot of vampire media is that a vampire is not supposed to be a zombie. it is supposed to be a human who surrendered to their own vices and flaws. the flaws of cowardice in the face of death and the vices of pleasure and gluttony.

which is why vampires can be made very versatile. As much as I don't really like Twilight, it is still a story of dealing with vices with creatures that fundamentally have allowed themselves to be dominated by them.

which is why i really like the movie Renfield.

THATS RIGHT YOU BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO READ A SCATCHING BITCH AND MOAN SESSION ABOUT THE SATURATION OF SHITTY VAMPIRE MOVIES BUT NOW YOUR TRAPPED HERE READING MY THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON A NICK CAGE MOVIE, SIT DOWN SWEETHEART IM NOT GONNA BE DONE YAPPING FOR A FUCKING COUNTRY MINUTE

Renfield 2023 is a movie starring Nicholas Hoult, Nicolas Cage and Awkwafina.

Renfield if you do not know is the fanatical familiar from the original bram stokers dracula movie. the human who in exchange for aiding dracula in their dark dealings would perhaps gift him with the same dark curse, making renfield a fellow child of the night.

This movie takes place Years afterwards after a very serious battle with the last vampire hunters of the modern day and age. Dracula has suffered Severe damage from the fight and has Renfield aid him in taking refuge within the depths of an asylum while he recovers.

Here we get into the meat and potatoes of the movie, as much of a sin as it sounds, it does focus on nick cage as dracula but instead on nicholas holt as the aforementioned Stooge prime renfield. Renfield, between his random killings in order to sate the blood lust of his master, becomes more and more acquainted with the new modern world, undergoing the most harrowing journey of them all...

Therapy. 

Renfield over the years has lost his spark of mad fanaticism and is worried not only with his relationship with Dracula but his relationship with himself. Aiding at least one by attending an abusive partners support group to find victims. Mostly abusive partners and criminals.  

This is very notable because it's already setting up the original themes of vampires. Your cowardice and your vices. It sets up Renfield as a true coward whose vice is his love of dracula, or more exactly his desire to  Be Like dracula. Enough so that even though he wants to feel better about himself- to feel less like a monster- he still follows dracula's demands in killing people who he has decided to pass judgment on. 

Oh sorry i forgot a detail, renfield is a power ranger and his morpher is eating bugs. He gains some vampire powers everytime he eats a bug and does some john wick shit but thats not my deal, i dont care if renfield can do a sick back flip and punch a guy (complete fucking lie, the action scenes in this movie are so god damn rad sometimes, please watch this movie, please please please!!!)

The movie splits into a couple of different story lines. One being Renfield attempting to balance his burgeoning need to have a functioning moral compass and his romance with awkwafina character, rebecca the detective. Rebecca the detective attempting to balance both the rash of murder cases and a rash of mob related crimes in order to avenge her father, and the mob themselves attempting to figure out who is wiping out their foot soldiers. 

I'm not going to harp on the story for long so let's start talking about renfield. 

Renfield is a hypocrite, and it's made apparent throughout the film that he is a hypocrite. Despite wanting to be a good person he is still a murder. He has doomed multiple people to die across the world. He left his wife and child to be with dracula. He has done so much to cut himself off from his own humanity that it's almost insane that he wants to run back to it because Dracula has not yet answered renfields desire to be a true vampire. 

This all is blended into the idea of having dracula be a parallel to an abusive narcissistic partner in a relationship. Which in all accounts throughout the movie is true and we're going to bounce back and forth from that for a bit so buckle up bud. 

The main ire of the movie is that Renfield wants to push his problems that he has gained away onto Dracula without acknowledging his roles in them. Again we see that cowardice. Renfield cannot stand to see his own faults. He listens to Dracula both out of fear and admiration. At the start of the movie I mentioned that Dracula sustained heavy hits from the last vampire hunters. Well I forgot to mention how he survived. Lets go ahead and listen in Real Close to what he says 

The hunters had dracula dead to rights if you can dare to pardon my puns. Trapped in a binding circle, burning in holy flames and about to get skewered through his heart. The dialogue is specific, Dracula makes no specific promises but notes that Renfield is complicit and that regardless of whatever Dracula has done, he is still his greatest ally. We play on that cowardice and that vice. That desire to be near dracula or be like dracula contrasted with his fear of the repercussions of his actions. 

Snap back to reality and we see that Renfield is still struggling with this. He does not want to face the repercussions of his actions so he continues doing as instructed by Dracula while also indulging in his vices, his desire for escapism by delving into all of these new things. Vigilantism, pushing his problems onto dracula, pretending that he is at the moment capable of having a new life while still using dracula's powers to attain it. 

Ah but now we need to introduce the main concept of this film. That being the portrayal of Dracula as an abusive partner with narcissism. Dracula plays on renfields, and says it with me in class, Vices and Cowardice. He knows what to say to make Renfield back down. He knows all his fuck ups and exactly what renfield wants, that being to have a simple life with dracula, but not in a gay way of course, we still have to have a straight romance sub plot, i mean its insane to think that renfield wants to bone dracula its not like dracula promises to be his salvation while he is suspended in air in a soft whispery voice while renfield stares at him with all the gale of a oculerly enlarged puppy but hey what do i know? I unironiclly read isekais, my media literacy must be that of a brain dead lemur. 

We can see this played out in this scene here

Dracula knows how to keep the hook in renfield's mouth both taught and loose enough to keep him at the perfect level of knuckle dragging dejection to ensure that he runs back begging. In that while yes he is right that renfield at so many points gave in to his own desires and *coy eye to the audience as I listen to them scream “vices” at me.*. He has begun to make an earnest attempt to become a better person. Better late than never. 

Thus renfields true growth is him rejecting that which made him so close with dracula, the rejection of what makes a vampire and vampire. He embraces his cowardice by both admitting to what he is and now allowing himself to push his own crimes onto dracula, and then standing up to dracula, and then rejecting his vices when once again dracula makes him the same offer. To be that same shield towards himself and his own shortcomings rather than deal with a life without a master. Despite it being possible in the future coming with the promise of being a full vampire like himself. 

Look guys, let's not juggle bowling pins and call it arm wrestling, Watch Renfield. Its a good movie and nick cage is fucking awasome, thanks.

[lunarleonardo]

Ok, quick question, do you have an idea for how long you want Love Letter to be? Because I genuinely need a vague idea of how long it's going to be until the comfort because IM DYING. I NEED A RESOLUTION, PLEASE. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE PLANNED OR ANYTHING, JUST AN APPROXIMATE ESTIMATE FOR HOW MANY CHAPTERS THE FIC WILL BE. I don't usually read stuff this gruesome, so I'm like suffering right now because of my own dumbassness because I need a happy ending. I'm slowly dying from the suspense. I eat your content up every time, and like out of the maybe 4 or 5 fics you recently have made on the saiouma tag, I've only recently realized you wrote them all. YOU WERE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND I WAS JUST SHOCKED. (How are they pumping these out left and right?? What type of stuff do they think about to come up with this stuff? How do they stay so serious when writing?)<- genuine thoughts I had a few weeks ago. ANYWAYS, keep up the good work. I'll be waiting in dread until the comfort comes, but I'll still be eating the love letter chapters whenever they come out no matter what. Also, please shuichi do not cannibalize yourself. Please. Do not. That last paragraph in chapter 9 has e so worried.

Hi sorry! I would have answered this much sooner, but I got stuck in an Uno game that lasted for over an hour. BUT I'm finally free (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

I'm expecting Love Letter to be at least 20 chapters or so. There will be two more nighttime segment chapters (Shuichi's pov), and the rest will be the daytime segments with Kokichi and Maki. We're nearing the end of this arc, and after that, the recovery will start. I won't give away too much, but we're drawing ever closer! ^_^ As for an estimate until the recovery chapters... I'd say at least 7 or 8...? Maybe?? I don't have the last few days planned out chapter-wise, so we'll have to see for that one ;o; it's at least over 5

If you can't stomach the gruesome bits, I really don't recommend reading the fic (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠) at least not the nighttime segments. Don't force yourself to read anything that makes you uncomfortable or ill!!

I can answer those three questions!

I have a lot of free time @_@ . Whenever I'm bored, I start writing. I have sooo many ideas and I love to share them! Everyone has been so supportive, and it's given me the confidence to post more and more of my stuff :) I write a lot and I write fast lol

Ever since I was little, I enjoyed the darker parts of fiction. I enjoy whump especially :p so I'm always thinking about different whump tropes and applying them to my favs. I also take a lot of inspiration from music and games-- M5DP was born between my replaying Your Turn To Die and an event that happened in a roleplay between me and my gf. The base idea for Fever Frost was born from the third Wings of Fire book, and reinforced with Kitchen Fork by Jack Conte. Impermanent Attachment happened because I found it funny to give Shuichi a gun, but also mostly because I had a Komahina timeloop fic I wanted to write for ao3 and just never got the confidence to at the time. (If anyone wants me to go more in depth with how I put these fics together, just ask. I have lots of notes o_O) I'm ALWAYS thinking and having ideas ^_^ trust me i would have way more fics up if i came to ao3 with the confidence to post my mer / vampire / dragons fics

? Honestly I'm not sure what this means, sorry QwQ I've been writing since my hands could touch a keyboard. I submitted a Pokémon fanfic for one of my 1st grade creative writing assignments. I take every story as seriously as the writer wants me to, and in the case of my own fics, there are some parts where the tone is serious and some parts where it's just like "wtf is going on". That "two late!" joke in Love Letter wasn't planned at ALL, it only happened because the idea made me giggle ;P

Anyhow, thank you!! Dread is a good emotion to have when it comes to Love Letter updates <3 /j I PROMISE the comfort will come. I cannot physically handle an unhappy ending,, or at the very least a hopeful one xD

As for Shuichi... well. I can't promise anything. O_o