#i would hate not being able to eat yummy things anymore

[jjpmoans]

painting the galaxy | ijb

w.c : 2.6k+

a/n : Happy Birthday to my one and only ice princess @fairygyeom​. I am sorry that I have to put this one up late, I explained it to you earlier. It’s 1.22 am on 29th May but I wished you before 28th ended sooo I hope this one is validd! I hope you like it and it serves a good gift for you. I am thankful to have you in my life. Happy Birthday clingy baby! Hope you have a blast birthday!!

“You’re late.”

“I know.”

“And it’s my birthday.”

“I know that too.”

You hate the fact that he sounded not apologetic at all. Being late is actually forgivable since you know his job needs him to put people first but sometimes it would be nice to know that he actually feels sorry for being late on your birthday date. It’s a special day for you, not because it’s your birthday but because you’d spend it with him.

That’s what makes it special.

Jaebeom knows too much about you. He knows when you’re hungry, your face will scrunch upward and you’ll be more demanding, though you usually demand him to hurry up so you can go out to eat. He also knows that when you’re truly happy, the corner of your eyes narrows and your smile – you still wonder how he thinks that is genuine -  is when your cheeks bounce up and almost shut your eyes.

And he knows when you’re sad or disappointed, you will try not to show it for the sake of him; you care less if it’s about others, but you will refuse to look at him and appear to be not shaken. He knows you inside and out, it is scary to have someone knowing too much about you.

He reaches for your hand, interlocking yours with his and offers you a bright smile. “What are you being sad for?”

He tries to pat your hair but you quickly duck your head to avoid him. You wanted him to know that you’re a tad bit hurt when he doesn’t feel remorse for his action.

Though it has been only ten minutes while you wait for him, you can’t help but be jealous of couples passing by you. But who you are to blame, this spot is crowded with couples. The street is so lively even on weekdays night, making you sigh even more. It must be hard to get seats to dine in.

A kiss lands on your cheeks, making your eyes go wide, whipping your head to him in a second. There he is, still smiling; grinning even.

“There, there my ice princess. The ice is going to melt at this rate. Forgive me and don’t be sad. It’s your birthday!” you know he’s putting effort to make you feel better. And like you said, you’re not that mad. Nothing that Jaebeom can’t fix.

“Fine.” You grumble, not wanting to be seen so cheap for being able to change mood in one second. However, Jaebeom laughs at that, of course you will be such a baby. His baby.

“Let me make up to you okay?” he whips out a pamphlet; you have no idea what the pamphlet is about but you doubt it is a vacation pamphlet. When he gives it to you, your eyes go wide as you read the title.

“Princess’s Day”

By yours truly, Jaebeommie.

You snort upon seeing his cute nickname. He rarely- almost never – wanted to use that cute nickname. Usually it took a lot of convincing and whining to get him to use the name.

“Hmm, Jaebeommie?” his breath hitches, sighing as you caught the name. He grins half-heartedly, allowing you to know the extra efforts he did for your day.

“I made an exception. You can call me Jae-“ he takes in a deep breath and through gritted teeth, he mumbles a quick jaebeommie, and blinks his eyes rapidly for you. “and I will be your tour guide today.”

“Today is ending in four hours.” true, because he is late, your day has shortened from six hours to four. He knows better though, ringing you up two hours before 6pm, letting you know that he was going to get off work pretty later. “And we are going to…six places? Jaebeommie, this is too much for dinner, don’t you think so?”

You giggle as he flinches every time you say his name, partly because he was so annoyed by the nickname. He earned it when Jinyoung was teasing him for being recklessly jealous of your male friends and he went home annoyed even more when you told him off for being jealous. It is lucky that he lets you use the name, however that can’t erase the fact that he hated being called cute.

“Also, we are late already so I don’t know if we can have the seats. We can only go up to four places,” you ramble, opening the pamphlet to see more activities planned by him. “Stargazing!? When- oh lord Jaebeom we don’t have time!”

You opted to cross out places to visit in order to fit the stargazing into the schedule. He can list all the things but you are really excited for the last activity. If you go later than midnight, the stars might not even be there anymore.

Jaebeom chuckles behind you and you huff, annoyed by his still cold demeanour. He has the audacity to laugh at your panic state!?

As soon as he feels your burning stares, he plucks the pamphlet off your hand and tug you to walk with him. “First off, we are going to visit all the places tonight. No exception.”

“Secondly, I don’t want you to look at your watch every five minutes because you thought we would miss the stargazing.” He sees your pout and he shakes his head, “nuh-uh. Not even a glance.”

“Which is why,” he tugs your handbag and goes through it, “I am confiscating your phone.”

“What- Jaebeom!”

He hisses and you give up wrestling with him, looking sadly at your phone that was taken away. “You only have four hours with me, princess. What is more important than spending it all with me?”

Okay, that is true. Honestly you don’t have anyone texting you. Even if you do, you can read it later. Tonight it is all about celebrating your birthday with Jaebeom. If he wants your sole attention on him, well he doesn’t have to. Your attention is all on him.

“Now, I’m sure that the little monster in you needs to be fed.” You scowl at that, even if it’s true, he doesn’t have to say that out loud. Jaebeom laughs in return, leading you to the brightly light-up street. “Let’s start our date.”

Your first stop is a barbecue restaurant. You manage to get a seat; which later you find out that he has reserved the place beforehand. He should have, really, because the first time your eyes land on the pamphlet, you’ve been eyeing the barbecue place for ever.

You love meat. Jaebeom knows it too. Hence when you stuff in more and more meat inside your mouth, Jaebeom can’t help but to laugh after your attempt to shove in a lettuce as well. “Slow down, oh god. We are not rushing. Eat slowly.”

Jaebeom mainly works as the griller, an expert one. He arranges them in a partition so you have all kinds of meat on the grill in one go. Back when you first met, he grilled them one batch per session, making you mad when you wanted to try the other meat but it was still uncooked.

Jaebeom learnt his lesson though. His princess can be a little monster when it comes to food.

“Is it good?” he asks as you dunk your last drink. You nod enthusiastically, happy that you’re full. Eating barbecues is all about arrangement. You have to eat as much as you can without drinking. Because as soon as you start drinking, you will start feeling full when it’s just water filling you up. And it will be a waste to pay so much just to fill your stomach with water.

Next on the pamphlet says a walk along the street. Jaebeom forces you to walk, saying that you need to burn all the food you’ve eaten so you can get side foods later. You grumble in annoyance but still enjoy walking, because it’s with him.

Both of your working life takes the excitement away from you. Jaebeom with his patients and you with your own work. It is rare for you to take a walk, a date even. Whenever you have time, you’ll spend it inside where you will cuddle and stick to each other until Jaebeom’s phone rings for his service.

Walking with Jaebeom is everything you’ve ever imagined. His calloused hands hold your waist, keeping you close to his side. Everytime your eyes linger a bit longer than intended on some things, he will stop and drag you into the shop even if you refuse. He is so soft for his lover.

And you’re lucky to have him by your side.

The first time you agreed to date him, you were conflicted. You’re clingy, with cherry on top. What if you get so clingy that you can’t understand the nature of his work? What if he fought with you because he got tired of needing to choose between you and work?

“Hey.” Jaebeom nudges your cheeks with his nose. You’ve never been a fan of skinships but Jaebeom? Oh the things you’d do for Jaebeom. “Want to get those ice creams and choco shake?”

Jaebeom knows everything about you. He knows when you need energy, chocolate drinks will do it. If you are sad, chocolates will solve it. If he makes you sad, chocolate will help him.

It has been a part of your life. You and chocolates are inseparable, not even Jaebeom would win over chocolate. However, he could win you with chocolate.

“This is sooo yummy!” you hum as the cold ice cream melts in your mouth, relishing the taste over and over again. “Jaebeommie, aaaaaahh?”

Jaebeom, even though embarrassed that a few people are looking in your direction, still accepts a large scoop of chocolate flavoured ice cream – mind you it’s Baskin Robbins, who can say no? – and hides his face in embarrassment. Oh lord the things he would dumbly do for you.

“Careful.” He hoists you up the hill, your heavy breathing fills the silent night. After going to some arcade and Jaebeom got fed up when he lost a few games to you, you end up getting fast food and hop on his car to the last place.

Stargazing.

As soon as you manage to catch your breath and stand straight, your head tips to the sight of the galaxy spread in front of you. You’re breathless again, at a mere sight of stars and astrology that you don’t even understand such a beauty exists.

Jaebeom carefully brings you to the closest spot you can go and spreads the mat open to place all the food and drinks you’ve gotten.

“Jaebeom, this is so pretty.” You whisper. You don’t know why you whisper, it’s as if the stars will wake up if you talk too loud. You don’t want them to disappear. No, not yet. “Oh, look!”

He takes a seat behind you, caging you between his legs. He becomes the bigger spoon, resting his chin on your shoulder while watching you still in awe with the beauty of nature.

Jaebeom likes this. Away from work that holds him from meeting you every time he wants to. Being together with this. This is all he ever wanted.

He sneaks a hand around your waist and you squeal as he pulls you nearer, dropping a soft kiss on your cheek. He told you before, cheek’s kiss is what he lives for. He believes that your cheeks hold overloading cuteness and he feels happy whenever he manages to drop your cheek a kiss. Mainly because you hated people playing with your cheek, let alone kissing it.

“I love you.” He mutters.

You know. If he doesn’t, he won’t take a day off for you. Tomorrow is supposed to be his day off, but he’s taking off work early starting today. He wants to spend more time with you, precisely.

“I know.”

You rub his hand, the warmth emitting from him is one of a kind. You won’t find it anywhere else.

The warm, comforting warmth.

“What do you want for your birthday gift?” as he asks, you frown in confusion. You literally have gotten all your birthday gifts, his time, his effort and he, himself.

What else would you want?

So in return, you shake your head. You can feel his smile forming at the back of your head, pressing his nose further to take in the scent of your hair. You’re serious, there is nothing you would ask anymore.

He fumbles with his pocket and when you tore your sight away from the bright sky, you’re met with a shiny ring right in front of your eyes.

You jolt, turning in Jaebeom’s embrace to stare at him in surprise. Of course, he did not expect for you to be that shocked, but judging from your reaction, you’re a hundred percent confused.

He plucks the ring out of the box, pulling your hand towards him. “This is a promise ring.”

You gape as you heard the name of the ring – honestly you don’t know that is a thing.

“This promise ring can give different meaning. I promise to be loyal.” He stops, looking at you in the eye. “I promise to love you, always.”

“I promise this heart only belongs to you.”

“I read somewhere that promise ring is given when it’s too soon to get married but you’re not ready for engagement.” Jaebeom smiles fondly. “I am absolutely not against engagement but I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

You shake your head. Indeed, engagement and marriage are far-fetched for now. You still have work to synchronise and your life is still a mess. Well you shall start with that first.

“But I want to show you that I’ve been serious for you. That this ring shall promise you that I am always here, always loving you.”

“There are times when we may have got into fights and you may have resented me. But as long as this ring is still there, I promise you we will fix it.”

He slides the ring to your ring finger, fitting nicely while caressing your cheeks as tears start to form at the corner of your eye. The ring has no diamond, only empty round shape, of course with small diamonds around it; as if the empty space will be fitted by another diamond ring.

“When it’s time for us to get married, I will complete this ring with a diamond ring. Which is why it is called a promise ring.”

“This ring promises you that my heart here,” he points to his chest, “beats for non-other than you.”

You blush, melting at his words. His strong gaze completely captured you and now his words, your heart runs a thousand mile. “You’re so cheesy, Jaebeommie.”

He smiles at your comment, eyes sparkling mirroring the stars. “Happy Birthday, my ice princess.”

Leaning slowly, he captures your lips, perfectly moulding yours with his. Fireworks start going off in your mind, the feeling of his soft lips nibbles at your lower lips makes your stomach flips. Jaebeom deepens the kiss, holding your head in place while he continues his subtle bites on your own.

Jaebeom pulls back, searching for your eyes. He is met with teary, red eyes, which promises to only look at him.

“Happy birthday my clingy baby.” You shake your head in disapproval but Jaebeom chuckles, delving into another kiss despite you protesting. Who will you kid, you can’t deny Jaebeom’s kisses. They are precious, they are tempting.

You keep in mind that you will scold him later for calling you a clingy baby, but maybe very much later. Now you need to tend his kisses, the one that paints your own galaxy.

Copyright © 2020 jjpmoans. All rights reserved

[ Writings ]

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 26 already! I can’t believe we’re about halfway through... This episode seems to be end point for the current “arc,” or “mini arc,” maybe?? I’m not sorry to see it go but overall, this episode was pretty eh... Not bad, just kind of... I don’t get why we needed it. A fair few REALLY important things do happen! Those are awesome! I just think we could have got them in a more... interesting... way? xD Like, I didn’t hate watching it or anything, it just kind of felt like, with all the important stuff going on, shouldn’t there be more... oomph? (And I know we had a ton of oomph lately, it’s about time to wind down for a while... but then why pick now to spring certain things on us... anyway...)

Pic of the day!

generic group shot that captures each Chosen’s individual fighting spirit!

Koushirou: *intent focus*

Sora: *look of concern*

Jou: *I must have learned something in school that will be useful here*

Mimi: *Jou thinking always makes me nervous and a little grossed out*

Recap below!

So last week I’m pretty sure I vowed to violently murder someone in a back alley (or something like that) if we didn’t get to see the gang eat some FOOD this episode.

Well, looks like y’all are safe from me for now. Though I gotta say, I’m mildly concerned that they are eating Digi-eggs. Don’t those look like Digi-eggs? Other than the random very normal looking grapes...

Thank HEAVENS they are taking a BREAK.

Taichi uses his telescope to remark that Cloud Continent is not only a continent in the clouds, but it sure looks small from down here. Leomon admits he’s not really sure what’s going on anymore either xD

Leomon’s mainly weirded out by Patamon, who... I suppose just doesn’t fit the bill for what he expected the holy Digimon to be like :P lol

Ok so quick aside... I’m honestly kinda peeved that we’re still with Leomon’s silly group of clowns. I know that sounds harsh! And I love Leomon! But his army is... uh... well, he definitely made sure he’d be the coolest one around at all times xD It makes sense that he’d be hanging around because after all, getting to the Holy Digimon was one of his goals as well, but honestly he and his team just feel like replacement back-up for the other Chosen Children who are in the real world atm. AND FIZZ IS NOT INTO THAT. At this point I really do NOT understand why the kids had to split up and send some to the real world at all. I suppose it may be explained in the future but I also won’t be surprised if the answer is “It’s exactly like you saw, Devimon tried to separate them.” I would much rather have had the whole team together. I mean, if this was an excuse for Taichi and Yamato to get close... it really didn’t feel like that. At least not to a point where they couldn’t have gotten with the others around too.

Anyway, break time’s over, because there’s an actual monster fight going on. It must be cool to watch - the way Ebidramon shakes Seadramon reminds me of the T-rex vs stegosaurus battle in Fantasia xD But then Seadramon has the last laugh and EATS EBIDRAMON’S DATA, enabling it to evolve to WarSeadramon. That must have been an epic meal

Meanwhile in the real world, important things are happening, Koushirou’s using lots of Big Words with Kanji and Mimi is happy to get back at Jou for one-upping her last episode by correctly recognizing the roman letters this time. They are still sitting on the same bench where they’ve been for SIX episodes now. My butt hurts just thinking about it.

Patamon is very informative.

Patamon: We’re all gonna die!!

Thank you Patamon. You are so cute.

WarSeadramon decides Takeru and Patamon look like a yummy dessert after his meal, so he attacks them, only to be feigned off by our heroes. WarSeadramon gets pissy and says “Two on one is no fair! I have friends too!” and calls MetalSeadramon to join him. Apparently, MetalSeadramon can move on land :O This was one of the freakier things, I was actually like GAAH

Taichi tells Yamato to take Takeru somewhere safe. Since he is clearly very tasty to Seadramons. Yamato doesn’t bother arguing xD

Takeru: Hey! I’m your brother not a bag of beans!

However they are both cut off! Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Meanwhile, Koushirou is literally a bad ass. He’s managing to reroute the rogue ships whose GPS have gone haywire by sending a signal from a second satellite, which the ships then pass on to the other ships.

Thus helping them get back on course and not collide with each other.

I mean this kid is in fourth grade. HOW HAS HE NOT BEEN SNAPPED UP BY THE GOVERNMENT AND TRAINED INTO SOME CHILD SUPER SPY???

no seriously... I’d actually kind of LOVE it if that were a thing x’D Like the government goes to Koushirou’s house and tries to get him to come but his parents are like “Um no he is a child and he needs a childhood” and protect him :’< When will this show realize WE ALL LOVE KOUSHIROU

Mimi: HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!

Mimi: H... Hikari... you were still here...? Ehehe.... um... *whisper* hurry up!!

so yeah Hikari is still here! Standing! Staring! Really creepy! I get that the others are very distracted atm but it seems like someone should be like “do you need help? are you lost? do you need a doctor since you seem to have gone catatonic??” Only Koushirou is actively doing anything, I think someone could be spared to at least let her sit on their lap!

Back in the digital world, Garurumon is so distracted by the fight happening in front of him that he fails to notice the attack from behind, and Professional Self-Sacrificing Idiots Taichi and Greymon save the day.

They predictably fall off the cliff wheeeeeeeeeeee

It’s raining men, hallelujah

Under water, Greymon gets his assed kicked until Taichi manages to swim to him

which seems to give him renewed focus, I suppose, and he’s able to get away from the two Seadramon pals and get some air.

However they almost immediately drag him back down. You would think Greymon would be REALLY bad in a water battle and at least need to evolve to be any use (especially given that both evolved Seadramons are perfect levels), but both Greymon and Garurumon never evolve this episode, so I think we’re supposed to assume that even after eating they’re just not recovered enough for that yet. GOOD

Yeah but here’s what confuses me. Yamato does not do anything to help. Well, I shouldn’t say anything - whenever an enemy comes out of the water, he and Leomon’s team attack it from afar. But I mean, Taichi is in the water, being attacked by two Digimon who are both a level higher. WHY DOESN’T YAMATO GO IN TO HELP?!?!

We can’t even give him the excuse of needing to protect Takeru because 1) Takeru has Leomon’s entire team to protect him and 2) Takeru is fighting!!!!!!

I’m sorry but Yamato should be in the water. This is just crappy writing. He’s shouted “Taichi!” three times in the exact same way this episode and has very few other lines, so I actually sort of suspect that Namikawa Daisuke might not have been available to voice him this episode?? Maybe? So they just couldn’t give him too much to do for that reason. That’s totally speculation, I just don’t understand why Yamato does so little here.

Back with Koushirou, his plan has worked and all the ships are successfully changing course woot

Aww looks like a Christmas tree

The way Garudamon carries Zudomon is A++

The partners inform them that the Zurumon are on the move...

Jou theorizes that they’re off to gobble up more data somewhere else. Mimi’s like “ew?”

They decide they really need to get back to the digital world now. They’re finally worried about Yamato and Taichi and figure they’ll be more useful over there. I really can’t think of a reason why Koushirou could not have saved all these ships from the digital world so YEAH HARD AGREE. What even was this interlude?? Show us how cool a hacker Koushirou is?? We already KNEW that, he can do it from the digital world too, and watching the kids sit on a bench for six episodes was NO GOOD. Grrr. At least I needed them to do something really cool to justify all this but... nope! Can’t say it was necessary for Taichi and Yamato’s sake either!

There is one awesome thing that comes out of the separation...

Hikari: Oh you want to go back to the digital world? Why didn’t you say so?

ZIP!

Aaaaand they’re gone! Hikari included! :O

I kind of guessed this was gonna happen when Hikari first showed up, but I also sort of thought, it seems so early to have her join... I know this season is Doing It Different but we JUST got Takeru, I figured we’d spend more time on his story first. Also figured the lead in to Hikari joining would be more... Idk... this was just kind of anticlimactic, y’know? But whatev.

Now the only thing is... there’s no reason they had to go back to the human world for this. Hikari could have just come on her own. “It’s calling,” she says. Well, it could have called her regardless. So we really didn’t need this for Hikari’s sake. Bleh.

Curly

Ok so injuries really are a thing now. I’m down. We don’t get blood but we get to see lots of sparkly data leakage.

Still best boy, warts and all

What I DO really like... that i think we saw this ep as well as the episode before last in particular, is how important the kids are to their partners this season. Greymon loses it when Taichi’s KO’d in the Devimon battle, and this time, when they were separated under water Greymon started to panic until Taichi arrived. That alone seemed to restore his confidence. And even though he can’t evolve further, Taichi’s still able to give him a power boost. That was the one thing in 99 Adventure - the idea that the partners were connected with their human partners and needed their help to reach the next level was always fun, but mostly left the kids just running around unhelpfully much of the time. Tamers added on to it with the card game boosts (which were just to sell toys to kids BUT I still thought was cool lol). And then Frontier just did away with the partners all together and made the kids the monsters which I did NOT like personally. (YMMV although that one ep where Takuya has a crisis and becomes Flamemon was a cool effect.) This season has found a good balance, I think, between keeping the kids involved and preventing them from being too involved, if that makes sense. Of course it still means they’ve got suction cups on their shoes and can hold their breath underwater for unusual lengths of time...

Yay we won!!

... Never mind, now there are four of them xP

(but really, did he think he’d beaten two Perfect levels just like that? A level below, under water, and two-on-one? Taichiiii)

Yamato’s still just shouting Taichi’s name like the girl in Forrest Gump. “Run Taichi run!”

Then... Taichi hears a lovelier voice than Yamato’s!

Taichi: Zudomon!! Why do you sound like my little sister?

Bang bang Zudomon’s silver hammer came down upon his head

Bang bang Zudomon’s silver hammer made sure that he was dead

The whole gang is back!!! YAAAAAYYYY the one reason to love this episode!

So nice to see someone other than Greymon and Garurumon be a badass xP

And then this!! Anticlimactic though it was, I’m really excited to have Hikari on the team. She’s joining about halfway through which is kinda similar to how it was in 99 Adventure, but 99 Adventure had a much better lead in... however this season still has lots of storytelling to do.

Taichi is pretty amazed but not freaked, at least not yet.

Hikari’s just like “I was called here” and yes she’s as freaky as ever. If anything she’s even more freaky. I’m down as long as she gets a bit of personality beyond “mysterious” and “adores her brother”

I mean Takeru’s had plenty of opportunities to be a baby BAMF so far, so Hikari deserves some too. I wonder how long she’ll go without a partner?

Next week! It’s our first Takari shot!

Also... ooooohh??

The group will go to a new continent. Exciting exciting. Though I ragged on this episode, I’m still overall enjoying this season. But yeah I’m so GLAD the team is back together and unless something happens to change my mind, I def think they never should have been separated from the beginning. Or at least it should have been a much shorter separation. Anyway they’re together again so fingers crossed for more good stuff to come.

[cordonian-literature]

The Aftermath - Ch. 27

Apples and the Doctor’s Office

Summary: After the first day of the Apple Blossom Festival and Drake’s birthday, Riley, Liam, and the kids visit a doctor

Word Count: ~4.8k

Warnings: mention of character death, mention of addiction/drug abuse

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s book “The Goldfinch”)*

Catch up here!

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I’m not sure if the tags are working or not, but I hope I got everyone down! If you would like to be added/removed, please let me know :)

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- Eleanor - 

Mama woke us up extra early the morning after the beach party. While she helped bring my stuff to the car that was waiting outside, I decided to go back onto the bed and take a nap until it was time to actually leave. But when I opened my eyes, I was already in the car, my head on Mama’s leg. 

Mama and Daddyo were sitting next to each other and talking quietly while Gabe was sleeping on the other seat. I looked out the window to find that we were driving by large fields. There were trees surrounding little farms, and I saw animals that looked like sheep or goats, but I couldn’t tell from the distance. 

We eventually reach a large house and Daddyo wakes up Gabe to eat breakfast. When we walk into the kitchen there are already waffles, omelets, and fruits waiting for us. During the meal, Daddyo tells Mama that he’s worried about some investigation but Gabe and me are too focused on eating to pay attention.

After that, Daddyo asks us what we want to do today, and Gabe suggests soccer. I didn’t really want to play, but I still follow the two of them outside. 

While we walk through the large house, there are people working and cleaning like crazy. I ask Daddyo why they’re doing that, and he tells me it’s because the court is going to show up in a few hours.

Daddyo leads us far away from the building and towards a bunch of apple trees. I skip alongside him, humming whatever tune came into my head. Him and Gabe find four sticks and push them into the ground. Another person walks out of the house with a soccer ball, and Daddyo gives it to me to start out the game. 

I kick it, trying to get it back towards him, but the ball goes to Gabe instead, who kicks it into the goal and gets a point. He goes to get the ball and gives it back to me. When I try and kick it towards the goal to get myself a point, I kick it in the wrong direction again and it ends up at Daddyo’s feet, who manages to kick it into the goal to get us a point. 

The three of us play around for a few hours until some servants come out and tell us that the court has started to arrive, and Daddyo told us we needed to go get ready for the Apple Blossom Festival.

Mama helped us get dressed, but Daddyo had to leave to get ready for something. I was upset since I wanted to spend more time with him, but Gabe said that we would probably see him later. 

After everyone is dressed, Mama, Gabe, and me walk back over towards the apple trees with Duchess Olivia and Countess Hana. I ask Mama if Uncle Boris and Aunt Rowan would come, too. She tells me that Aunt Rowan is with Lord Maxwell, and comments that she hasn’t seen Uncle Boris since the horse race. 

We keep walking until we reach a small area where there aren’t that many trees, but a lot of people were gathered. There were photographers and people who I recognized from other events. I see Daddyo walk towards the front of the crowd, with Bastien and some other guards walking behind him. 

He faces the crowd and asks for everyone’s attention. I notice Heather out of the corner of my eye and walk up to her. Uncle Leo gives me a high-five when he sees me and Hunter walks towards my brother.

“Welcome to the annual Apple Blossom Festival!” he calls out. People clap lightly, and I see Lord Maxwell start cheering. “Traditionally, the Queen Mother and other ladies of the court would taste the first apples of the season, so in her memory, I propose we all take a bite.” 

There are some nods, and servants begin passing out apples to the adults. When a servant gives an apple to Uncle Leo and Aunt Katie, Uncle Leo takes both apples to give to Hunter and Heather. The same servant gives Gabe and me apples, and someone shoves a camera into my face.

“Go on, kiddos,” the person behind the camera says to me and Gabe. “Take a bite of the apple.” 

I look at the fruit in my hand, which is probably one of the brightest and reddest apples I’ve ever seen. Gabe takes a bite of his apple, but before he can even start chewing, he starts coughing again. The cameraman angles his camera away and asks Gabe if he’s okay. 

“Yeah, sorry if I coughed on your camera,” Gabe says. 

“That’s fine,” the man says. “Were you choking?” 

“No, my chest just started hurting.” 

“Gotcha. Wanna take another bite?” The cameraman looks over at me, and I take a large bite of my apple. 

It’s sweet and sour at the same time. I hate sour things, and I feel like my cheeks are burning. I force myself to swallow the apple and smile at the cameraman, because spitting it out would probably look gross. “Yummy!” I manage to say.

“Adorable!” the man says, then turns to take a picture of Gabe, who smiles while chewing. 

“That was delicious,” Gabe comments. The cameraman thanks us and walks away. 

“That was sour,” Hunter says, wiping some juice off his chin.

My brother shrugs. “I like sour foods.” 

Gabe finishes his apple and asks for another one. When the rest of the court has also eaten at least one apple, Daddyo asks for everyone’s attention again. 

“As everyone has taken a bite of their apples,” he begins. “I would like to thank our farmers, ones whose families have provided for Cordonia for generations.” He clears his throat, then starts talking again. “There is something else I wish to speak about. I know that recently Cordonia has faced many challenges. There have been natural disasters, economic recessions, international disagreements, and uprisings by anti-monarchist organizations. But Cordonia and her people have always been resilient. We’ve always stood together in unity. 

“Some of you I’ve known since my early childhood,” he continues, “and you’ve held my trust above all others. But this is a very unique issue we are facing, and Cordonia has learned from experience that her allies are not always who they are said to be. 

“My security team has reason to believe that the late Queen Mother did not die of a heart attack, but was actually poisoned, just as my own mother was more than thirty years ago.” People in the crowd gasp and begin whispering with each other. “Investigations are being led, but my team has suggested furthering those investigations by searching the belongings of certain members of the court. Do not fret, your privacy will be respected and if need be, the search may be done while you are present.”

The crowd of photographers and reporters start yelling questions towards Daddyo, and Uncle Leo leads us all back towards Mama and Duchess Olivia. 

“Did you know Regina was poisoned?” Uncle Leo asks. 

“Yes,” Duchess Olivia answers him. “Jacob told me what he discovered this morning. I didn’t know if Liam would tell the people, and I’m surprised that he did.”

“He was worried about it this morning,” Mama adds. All the adults turn to look back at Daddyo, who still has microphones being pushed in front of his face.

“I hope he’s doing okay,” Uncle Leo says.

“I’m sure he is.” Duchess Olivia turns back to Uncle Leo when he speaks, and there’s an angry tone in her voice. 

Jessica walks up to the group, pulling Drake behind her. She greets everyone and pinches Gabe’s cheek. Drake starts talking with Uncle Leo, and Jessica turns to Mama. 

“I wanted to ask if you would join Drake and I for dinner tonight,” she says. “I made a reservation at a restaurant for his birthday. It would be lovely if you all attended.” 

“That’d be nice,” Mama says. “We could all go.”

“No, thank—” Duchess Olivia begins, but Mama gives her a look, and instead says, “Fine.” 

“I’ll go fill in Hana and everyone else,” Mama says, walking away. 

“Hey, do you wanna go pick some apples?” Heather taps my shoulder to ask. 

I search the crowd for Daddyo, but can’t see him anymore. I tell Heather sure, and our brothers follow us towards some trees. 

Hunter and Gabe are the ones who want to climb up, and Heather and me are left near some baskets. Gabe tells us to catch the apples they throw down at us and to count them. 

For a second I think it’s not a good idea, since I don’t think I’ll be able to catch the apples and am a little scared that I would drop them, but Gabe already sends one down and I throw myself at it. 

I catch it, but land face-forward in the grass. Gabe calls to me from the top of the tree, saying that I had to get up. 

Heather and I continue to catch apples until our baskets are full. I had lost count around twelve, but Heather counts my basket, too, and says that the four of us collected about fifty apples altogether. 

Hunter frowns, complaining that we could have done better. Heather looks around for where we have to bring the baskets. And Gabe reaches down to eat another apple. 

I see Aunt Katie call for Hunter and Heather. The two of them walk away from us, and we wave goodbye to them. Gabe and I start walking away to go look for where Mama is, but Hunter and Heather call to us again to say that we’re all going somewhere together. 

Gabe and I are led in a car that has Lord Maxwell, Aunt Rowan, Duke Bertrand, Duchess Savannah, and Bartie. They tell us that everyone is headed to the same place, and that we would be celebrating Drake’s birthday. 

“I wonder what Jessica has planned,” Maxwell wonders aloud. 

“Probably cake?” Gabe asks. 

“Naturally,” Maxwell replies. “But do you think there’s a chance she didn’t get balloons?” 

“We can bring some!” I suggest. “In case Jessica forgot.” 

“I like the way you think, baby blossom,” Maxwell says. 

He crawls over towards the driver and asks him to bring us to a place we could get balloons. Duke Bertrand tries to stop Maxwell, but he refuses to sit down and the driver has already parked in front of a store. 

Me and my brother follow Maxwell into the store, who goes straight to the counter. 

“Do you have balloons?” he asks. There are balloon designs on display right on top of our heads, and I pull Maxwell’s sleeve and point at them. “Hmmm...” he stares at them for a while, then turns back to the person at the counter. “Do you maybe have a balloon that’s shaped like a whiskey bottle?” 

“No, but I got champagne ones,” the old man says. 

“Good enough, we’ll take ten,” Maxwell requests. 

“Ten?” my brother and me ask in union.

“Do you think we should get more?” he turns to us and asks. “What if we get forty and say ‘Happy Fortieth Birthday’? He’s not forty yet but it would be funny.”

“I mean, I don’t know,” Gabe starts. “If Lady Jessica already got balloons, then bringing forty more would seem like a little too much.”

Maxwell sighs. “Fine.” 

“Gabe is now the bossy blossom,” I point at my brother to announce. 

“What? No—” he tries to protest.

“Are you gonna tell me not to call you bossy?” I question, crossing my arms in front of me.

“That would make you extra bossy,” Maxwell states. 

“But—” he tries again.

“Stop being bossy, bossy blossom!” I cry. 

Gabe turns away from me. Maxwell pats him on the head and says, “It’s okay, bossy blossom.” 

Maxwell and I laugh while Gabe stares at the balloons. 

We all hold three balloons, and Maxwell holds an extra one. When we get back into the car, Duchess Savannah and Aunt Rowan laugh, and I can tell that Duke Bertrand is upset, but he doesn’t say anything.

For the rest of the ride we punch the balloons at each other until we have to get out of the car. Aunt Rowan ties some balloons to my wrists because she was worried they would fly away. 

When we enter, there’s a guy in a fancy suit who greets us. 

“This is not the kind of establishment you bring childish balloons into,” Duke Bertrand whispers loudly to Maxwell.

The three of us ignore him and follow the fancy man through the restaurant until we reach a very big table. Everyone else is already seated, including Uncle Leo, Aunt Katie, Hunter, and Heather. 

Except for the ones me, Gabe, and Maxwell hold, there are no balloons in the room. And there aren’t any decorations either. 

“Happy Birthday, Drake!” Maxwell cries, walking over to where Drake was sitting. 

“Tie ‘em to his chair,” Uncle Leo comments, pointing at the balloons. 

While Maxwell works the knot of the balloon tied to my wrist, Drake grabs the string and pulls it close to his face. “You know these are champagne bottles, right?” 

“Imagine that it’s whiskey,” Maxwell tells him. 

I follow Gabe towards a few seats. I got to sit on Mama’s right, while Gabe was on Daddyo’s left, with the both of them in between us. Thankfully Heather was next to me. Gabe feels far from us, and when he tries to say something to me, I couldn’t really hear him. I wave at him to exaggerate the distance.

The adults talk steadily throughout the meal. Mama and Daddyo were sitting close to each other, mostly whispering. Countess Hana was talking with Maxwell and Aunt Rowan. Duke Bertrand laughed with Uncle Leo, and sometimes I saw Daddyo send looks in their direction.

As time went on I got more and more tired, and I wanted to ask Mama when they would finally cut the cake, but then Drake and Jessica stand to thank everyone for coming, and we all head outside.

“No cake?” I whisper at Gabe when we take a seat in Daddyo’s limo. 

He shrugs. Mama and Drake join us in the car, and I wonder where Jessica is. I spend the drive back looking out at the streets we passed. 

“Do you think they’re already done with the search?” Drake asks. 

“Perhaps,” Daddyo answers. “I don’t believe it should have taken the entire day, especially if no one resisted.”

“Do you really think it could have been someone from the court?” asks Mama.

Daddyo shrugs. “I’m not sure. I certainly hope not.” 

When we get out of the car, we see Lord Maxwell and everyone else walking into the big house. They wave at us, and we begin to follow, but someone walks up to Daddyo. 

“Your Majesty,” the man says. “There is something you need to see.” 

The five of us follow the man up the stairs and down dark hallways. I don’t even hear people talking, and the big house suddenly feels spooky. 

The man leads us into Gabe’s room, where there’s Bastien and some other people in similar suits. Bastien stands over Gabe’s open suitcase, and he looks down at something on his bed. 

“What is it?” Mama asks. She rushes forward to lean over the thing that Bastien was looking at, then gasps. 

Drake and Daddyo follow Mama, and their faces frown when they inspect the object.

“I...” Mama tries to speak. “I saw this at the Met. Before the bomb went off.” 

Gabriel and I look at each other, confused. 

“What on Earth was it doing in Gabriel’s belongings?” Daddyo questions Bastien.

“I don’t know. We didn’t even know this was the prince’s room,” Bastien tells everyone. “My team believed it was the room of another Lord or Lady, so we decided to inspect it. We only realized it was His Highness’ room after we had already found the painting.”

What painting are they talking about? I turn to look at Gabriel, but his chin starts to shake. All the adults are still questioning each other, and since they aren’t really paying attention to me, I make my way over to the edge of Gabe’s bed to look at what the problem was.

It was a painting of a bunch of dancers. They were wearing bright-pink pointe shoes, and I figured they were ballerinas. The whole thing looks like it was recently painted, but I tap the painted flower in the painted girl’s hair, and my finger comes away dry.

“What’s the commotion?” Duchess Olivia comes into the room. She towers over me to look at the painting. When she looks back at everyone, she’s just as confused. 

“This painting,” Mama begins to explain, “was in the Met the day of the bombing. The Dance Class. There was ash on it, and... look, they’ve painted over it to make it look new.” Mama points to certain places on the portrait.

“Weren’t the missing paintings around Europe connected to the incident at the Met?” Drake asks.

“They were,” Duchess Olivia speaks up. “And there was some evidence that the perpetrators were from Europe, but nothing came of it.” 

“So that means it is someone at court,” Drake states.

“I’m still concerned as to how the painting got into Gabriel’s room,” Daddyo states.

“Mom, I didn’t do anything,” Gabe goes to our mother. Tears are falling down his face and he’s having a hard time breathing. 

Mama holds his head in her hands. “Baby, I know you didn’t.”

She holds Gabriel while he cries. Duchess Olivia and Bastien continue their conversation. 

“Everyone whose belongings were searched showed no suspicious behavior or resisted in any capacity,” Bastien tells us. 

“Give me the names of whose rooms were checked,” Duchess Olivia demands. “I’ll have Jacob look into it.” 

Gabe starts to cough roughly into Mama’s side. He tries to take in a breath, but a cough, vibrating from his chest, forces its way out. Gabriel’s face goes pink, and Daddyo and Bastien kneel in front of him.

“Your Majesty,” Bastien says. “Perhaps the prince should see a doctor.” 

Daddyo’s focused on making sure Gabe can breathe, and once he’s calm and Mama wipes the tears from his face, Daddyo nods at Bastien. 

“I’ll schedule an appointment for you early in the morning, Your Majesty.” 

“C’mon, you two,” Mama says to us. “Let’s get you both to bed.” 

... 

Mama woke us up extra early again, but this time I wasn’t so tired. Her and Daddyo fussed over Gabe while we ate breakfast in a small dining room. 

They brought me to the doctor’s office with them. I didn’t like that I was back in the hospital, but when we were brought to the waiting room, I was glad that I didn’t see any patients or sick people. 

Once a nurse tells us that the doctor will be here in a few moments, Gabe comments, “I ate two whole apples yesterday but we still ended up at the doctor’s.”

Mama laughs. “Really?”

“That’s a lie,” I add in. “He ate three.” 

“The extra apple didn’t save me,” he states.

The doctor arrives and shakes Mama’s and Daddyo’s hands. She says that she wants to bring Gabriel into another room to run some tests and ask some questions. Mama follows Gabe, and Daddyo and me are left in the waiting room. 

“Is Gabe sick?” I ask him after Mama and Gabe have left. 

“I’m sure your brother is fine. There’s nothing to worry about, angel.” 

His phone rings, and I expect him to walk away and answer it, but he stays in his seat and talks. I spend the next few minutes walking around the waiting room, picking up magazines and staring up at the television. I grab three booklets from the stands and hand two of them to Daddyo, who is still on the phone. 

He leans back in his seat and watches me flip through the magazines while talking. When I’ve gone through all of them and sniffed more than twelve perfume samples, he’s finally done with his call. 

“What are we doing tomorrow?” I ask him. I was hoping that we could go to the movies again so we could all spend time together. Even though we had fun yesterday morning, the moments felt too short.

“The fox hunt is tomorrow. We’ll be visiting an ancient village.” 

“We’re gonna hunt?!” I cry.

He gives a deep laugh. “No, no, we’ll just ride horses to get to a village.” 

“Phew,” I voice, making him laugh again. “Wait, I don’t know how to ride a horse! Do you?” 

“Yes. Perhaps after the baking contest today, I can teach you and your brother.”

I wanted to ask him what the baking contest was for, but the doctor finally comes back to tell us that we can come into the room now. 

Gabe is sitting on the examination table, and Mama stands next to him. I take a seat next to the table and Daddyo stands next to the doctor.

“So I’ve taken a physical exam,” the doctor starts explaining, “and a lung function test. We’ve been able to determine that Gabriel has asthma.”

Mama and Daddyo both frown. 

“How?” Mama asks. “He’s not allergic to anything, doesn’t have allergies...”

“Sometimes,” the doctor starts again, “asthma can be triggered in children by cold air, excessive exercise, or air pollutants.” 

“Air pollutants?” Daddyo questions. 

“Like tobacco smoke.” The doctor pretends to hold up a cigarette to her lips. 

“Oh, God,” Mama whispers, putting her face in her hands. 

“What is it?” Daddyo asks. 

Mama lifts her head again. “Theo smoked. A lot. While I was pregnant and during Gabe’s first year. I think he only fully stopped before Ella was born.” 

Daddyo’s mouth falls slightly agape and his eyebrows furrow.

“Well, that explains it,” the doctor states. “I’ll give you some treatment options so it doesn’t get worse, but if it does, make sure to give us a call.” 

Gabriel jumps off of the examination table. We walk together out of the hospital and back into the car. 

No one says anything while we drive back. Mama and Daddyo both seem tense. I want one of them to start talking, but I’m afraid to speak. 

“I thought that Theo would go outside to smoke,” Mama finally says. “I didn’t even consider...” She trails off and puts her head back in her hands. 

“Didn’t consider that you were putting my son in the care of a drug addict?” Daddyo says quickly. We all turn to him. He looks at Mama like he’s angry. I’ve never seen him or heard him like that. I don’t understand why talking about Daddy made him mad.

“What?” 

“Instead of bringing him to me, where I could have kept him safe, you decide to bring my son into the hands of a stranger?” 

“You’re saying that as if I had a choice.”

“You’ve always had a choice, Riley!” 

“Not then, I didn’t—”

“You always did.” Their voices get louder. I think they’ve forgot that we’re still in the car with them. “If you had refused to depart with him, what was the worst that could have happened?” 

Mama’s voice breaks. “I did refuse!”

“Truly? Look where we are now.”

“Do you really think that I left that day with no intention of coming back? I tried for years to convince Theo!” 

Daddyo doesn’t say anything for a few moments. He looks away from Mama, but not at us, until he finally says, “Riley, we were the ones who had to bring you back, and that was when you were on death’s door.” 

“So you’re assuming that I never even tried to come back?”

“Clearly, Riley, you didn’t!” he screams. “You told me that you traveled to Europe numerous times, but not once did you try to contact me.”

“I wasn’t allowed to!” 

“So you voluntarily let that man determine my son’s health and your life?”

They’re both leaning forward in their seats. Mama looks like she’s ready to cry. I can’t tell how Daddyo’s feeling, but the tone of his voice kinda scares me. 

“You’re blaming me for all this, aren’t you?” Mama asks. “He’s still just a kid, his asthma hasn’t gotten into anything worse—”

“And if it did? If it had gotten worse before we realized it? Tell me, Riley, what would have happened then?” 

Mama pauses for a moment. She looks helpless. I want to hug her, but I was still too frightened to move a muscle. 

Daddyo breathes out and leans forward, looking down at his shoes with his elbows on his legs. 

“My father battled lung cancer for the last few years of his life,” he continues. “How do we know if Gabriel’s condition won’t worsen into something similar?”

“We can talk to the doctor about it,” Mama suggests in a small voice.

Daddyo doesn’t say anything. We all fall into silence again. I turn to look at Gabe, who seems like he’s trying to melt back into the seat. Craning my neck, I try to see what’s out the window, wondering how long it would take us to get back to the big house.

I turn to look at Mama. My mother’s face is slightly pink, and there are tears streaming down her face. I get up out of my seat to hug her, wrapping my arms around her waist, but she doesn’t react. 

Daddyo looks at her, but he doesn’t have the same face on from when he usually talked to Mama. He looked mean and angry.

“What about Boris?” Daddyo speaks up. He turns to Mama again, but she just stares at him. “He was with Theodore when he forced you to leave New York?”

“Yes.”

Daddyo sighs and leans back in his seat. “Did he also forbid you from returning to Cordonia?”

“No,” Mama answers simply. 

“So it was just Theodore?” 

Silence again. Daddyo doesn’t look away from Mama. 

“What did he say about me that... inspired you to leave?”

She doesn’t answer him. 

Someone opens the door to the car. I didn’t even realize we had stopped driving. Mama wipes her tears and gets out of the car, rushing into the big house. As soon as Daddyo steps out, some people surround him and start talking to him. His expression changes quickly, and it’s almost like he was never mad. 

Gabe and me get out of the car, and we follow people back towards the apple trees. My brother stays quiet, and I don’t try to talk to him, either. I knew the both of us were thinking about what had just happened. 

When we reach the crowd of people, Lord Maxwell and Aunt Rowan call us over to them. “Baby blossoms! Come bake some apple pie with us!” 

I ran over to them, hoping that the apple pies would make me feel better. Gabriel still walks slowly. 

“Hey, Gabey,” Aunt Rowan says to him. “Everything okay?” 

He shrugs. “They had a fight...”

“Who?” Lord Maxwell asks, putting down the knife he was using to cut apples. 

“Mama and Daddyo,” I tell them. 

“About what?”

Gabe shrugs again. “The doctor said that I have asthma, and then they started talking about... about Dad.” 

“Aw,” Rowan says. She pulls Gabe into a hug.

“They���re both probably worried,” Maxwell wonders aloud. Him and Rowan give each other a look, but then we go back to making apple pie. 

Lord Maxwell had forgotten to tell the judges that he wanted to be a part of the competition, so our pie was not judged, which meant that we got to eat the entire thing. Countess Hana and Lady Kiara’s pie won, and we cheered them on from the sidelines. 

I didn’t see Daddyo for the rest of the day, and Lord Maxwell told us that he was probably really busy. I wanted to go find him and ask him to teach me how to ride a horse, but I was worried that he was still mad. 

So instead, a little after sunset, Lord Maxwell brought me, Gabe, and Rowan to the stables and taught us about horses for a little bit. I learned how to sit and stay balanced, and was excited for the hunt tomorrow. I just hoped that Mama and Daddyo weren’t still mad at each other.

[dine-on-darling]

Animal Chaos

The Animal Chaos devilgram is filled to the brim with some vore teasing, so as the resident Shall We Vore representative, of course I had to do a rewrite to give the real way the story went~

Based on the devilgram, so a lot of the dialogue leading up to the vore and a little bit after is from the game.

---------

Darling had grown used to all the craziness of the Devildom pretty quickly. She hadn’t been left with much of a choice given how something weird seemed to happen every five seconds or so. Still, even this was...

“Mammon, what the hell was that?” Darling waved a hand in front of her face to get rid some of the smoke still curling about thanks to the magical item Mammon had thrown to the ground; the same smoke that had apparently turned her friends into... animal boys. Another day in the Devildom, then.

“Look, it’s a magical item that turns you into an animal! the effects wear off after a few hours. Pretty cool, right?” His new tiger tail flicked back and forth behind him, and every now and then his matching ears would twitch on top of his head.

Belphegor looked far less pleased by his own new traits, his fox ears drooped low. “Why did you have to drag me in to this?”

“C’mon, what’s the big deal?”

Darling watched them bicker back and forth, eyes flitting between them in mild shock. Idly, she felt the top of her own head, and to her surprise she felt something that hadn’t been there moments before.

“Woah, Darling, you’ve got horns!” Levi pointed to the top of her head, only confirming that she wasn’t imagining things.

“What kind? Am I some kind of deer?” She tilted her head back to try and get a glimpse, but however they were positioned wasn’t making that easy.

“Nah, I think you’re a gazelle.” Belphie said.

“Oh, really? Those are pretty cool, graceful and all that.” She reached up to touch her pointer fingers to the tips lightly.

Levi laughed. “At least I’m not the only herbivore.” He leaned over for a high five, which Darling gladly returned with a laugh of her own.

“Yeah,but what does it say about you that the only other herbivore is a human, Levi?” Mammon teased, flicking one of his little brother’s giraffe horns.     

His face turned beat red, and he swatted at Mammon’s hand. “Shut it, scumbag!”

Before more insults could be hurled, there was a low growl resounding through the room, and all heads turned to look at the source.

Beelzebub, bushy lion tail hanging sadly behind him, pressed a hand to his stomach. “... I’m hungry. I could eat a whole zebra.”

“Geez, sounds like your appetite transformed as well.” Mammon said.

“Also...” Beel blushed, his eyes flicking to and away from Darling. “Darling... smells really good right now...”

Mammon took a step back, his ears standing straight up and his tail going stock still. “Your jokin’, right? You can’t go around eating people just ‘cause you’re a lion right now!” 

Like he wasn’t even fully aware he was doing it, Beel walked a step closer to Darling. “Darling looks so yummy...” 

“Lol, you carnivores are such beasts.” Levi shook his head.

“How about I eat you first.” Mammon growled, angling his head in his direction.

“Hey! You can’t seriously be thinking of eating some poor, innocent giraffe, can you?”

Belpie sat back, folding his arms. “Levi probably tastes bad. If I’m going to eat someone, I’d rather it be Darling.” He nodded his head lazily in her direction.

“Oh, I guess you’re a carnivore too, Belphie. And excuse me! I’ll have you know that i’m delicious!”

“Levi... Maybe that’s not the battle you should be fighting right now.” Darling sighed.

Mammon pressed is hand to his own stomach, a curious expression on his face. “I do feel kinda strange... And Darling does look really appetizing right now...” 

Darling’s new set of ears twitched at his words, weird, like an involuntary fear response. She’d hardly spent much time being truly afraid of the brothers, even if she should, but it was like she could feel some new instincts creeping up, telling her to beware the vicious predator. But it was only Mammon, he’d never do anything to actually hurt her... Right? She played it off with a joke. “Well, of course I do~”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Is that somethin’ you should be bragging about?”

Beel’s baritone voice interjected into the conversation. “Cut it out, you guys...! I won’t let anyone eat Darling! Over my dead body!”

Darling blinked up at the gluttony demon, his ears folded back against his head and a small hint of fangs showing as he talked. She hadn’t expected him to jump to her defense so strongly. Though, she thought she noticed something else in his expression after, some sort of hesitance in the way he brought his hand up to grip his wrist.

Mammon put his hands up to placate him. “We’re just jokin’. Did ya really think we’d eat someone so important to us?”

Belphie leaned forward, his eyes squinted as he examined his twin. “Beel, you seem like you’re in pain. Are you okay?”

A loud groan filled the room, a familiar sound that was already normally so loud but now seemed to be even further amped up. Beel clutched his stomach, his face scrunching up. “Ngh... Darling...!”

“Heh, I gotcha.” Mammon leaned forward with a smirk and poked a finger against Beel’s stomach. “You’re tellin’ us off, but you’re the one who wants to eat Darling the most!”

Darling rose from the couch, putting a hand out towards Mammon. “Mammon, hey-”

Beel’s stomach growled again. “Ngh...” And quick as that he spun on his heel and took off running, out of the common room and away from them... from her.

Belpie stood up too after his brother. “Beel! Wait, where are you going?” He took a step, but Darling placed her hand on is arm to stop him.

“Let me go after him, please?” No, no, no, her prey instincts screamed, run fast and far away from the predator.

He looked at her with concern. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, no way.” Mammon spoke up. “You saw him, he totally wants to eat you right now!”

“So do you.” She pointed out.

Mammon and Belphie both blushed, suddenly unable to meet her eyes.

“That’s why you should stick with me until this spell wears off.” Levi said. “Come back to my room; us herbivores can barricade there to protect ourselves.”

“Guys, please.” She said, already starting to back towards where Beelzebub went. He’s so much faster than her, she’s going to have to hurry if she wants to catch up. “Trust me, I promise it’s fine; please let me talk to him.” Maybe she should give in to her instincts, her common sense to stay away, but something stronger and more powerful pulled her to follow him. So she turned and ran after him without waiting for a response from the others.

She actually found him not too far away, leaning against a banister with his back to her. “Beel!” She called out to him.

He stiffened, and after only a beat he took off running again, not looking back at her.

“Beel, wait!” She urged her legs to move faster. Stupid demon speed, stupid human speed... Wait, stupid human speed feels somewhat faster than she remembered; was this somehow due to her new gazelle features? Whatever the case, she was able to keep up with Beel a lot better than she normally would have been able to.

“Don’t follow me...!” He called back to her without breaking stride. “Go back to the others! The way I am right now... I might eat you!”

“No you won’t! Please, stop running from me, Beel!” She continued to chase him.

“You’re still trying to follow me? You never know when to give up, Darling. Until I’m back to normal, i’m not sure that I’ll be able to control myself; so please, just leave me alone for a bit.”

“No way! I’m worried about you, Beelzebub, so i want to stay with you no matter how dangerous you say it is.” Darling huffed. They were in a long stretch of hallway and she saw a chance. He’d started to slow a bit, distracted by their conversation, and she pushed her legs to close the distance, sliding past him baseball style and skidding to a stop in front of him. She spread her arms wide, Beel almost tripping over himself in his haste to stop before he crashed into her.

They both stood there, breaths coming out in pants and staring the other down, waiting for one to break and give in. Darling poured every ounce of her resolve into her eyes.

“... you’re really not going to give in?” Beel shifted, shoulders slumping as he loosened the tension in his body and caved to her; and then, he smiled. “Fine, you win; I’m not going to run from you anymore.”

Darling’s arms flopped to her sides and she slumped forward, letting out a huge breath. “Good... phew, damn that was exhausting. Ah, I think my legs are going to hate me for the next month.”

Beel stepped forward to pat her on the back. “Honestly, that was pretty impressive.”

Despite her exhaustion, she laughed. “Yeah, it was, huh? Even with this animal spell, I never knew I had that in me.” She lifted her head, looking at him with a smile.

As soon as she looked at him like that, a blush appeared on his face and his eyes skipped away from her face to look anywhere else. “I appreciate you being willing to stay with me, but...Ah, it’s no good!” His gaze came back, hunger pouring out of the purple, and with it a hand rose to grip her chin, the other flexing against her bicep. “You look more delicious than anything in the world right now, I can barely stand it. Everything about you: your scent makes my stomach growl, and I can’t look at your skin without thinking about how it’s taste against my tongue, what you’d feel like slipping down my throat and deep into my stomach... Dammit!” He growled, squeezing his eyes shut and ducking his head.

“Hey... Hey, it’s alright, Beel; look at me.” She brought her hands up to cup his face, but he only shuddered and squeezed his eyes tighter. She frowned, how could she get through to him? “Beel...”

Darling ran her thumb along his cheek, and then she pulled his face forward and pressed a firm kiss directly to his lips.

That pulled a groan from him, and finally his half lidded eyes looked into hers. “Darling... No... No, that only makes me want to have you more. It’s like I got the smallest sample of the world’s greatest meal, I... I can’t...” Another growl, and this time faster than Darling could blink she was on the floor, Beelzebub’s nose pushed into the crook of her neck. “You smell so delicious.”

Darling pushed against his shoulders but it was no use, he was simply way too strong and so much bigger than her. “Beel, come on, you have to fight the urge. It’s only the lion instincts making you like this, please, you have to try and tap into your normal self.”

“That...” His hold on her tightened like he was almost scared to admit what he’d say next. “That won’t help.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean these feeling aren’t entirely new; I’ve wanted to eat you for a while now, but I’ve been pushing that desire away this whole time, all these animal instincts are doing is making it stronger but it’s not creating them.”

Darling felt everything around her still, she couldn’t even form a response. Sweet, precious Beelzebub had really been hiding the fact that he wants to devour her this whole time?

“I’ve been so scared of admitting it, I never wanted to chase you off and ruin things between us.”

“Wha- i think digesting me would do more than simply “ruin” thing between us, Beel.”

He pulled his head back abruptly, arms moving to frame her head as he looked down at her. “I would never digest you!”

She raised an eyebrow, trying very hard not to shrink and scramble away from him, knowing that would only put more hurt into his eyes. “But you already said you’ve been fantasizing about eating me,” She could barely get the word out. “I think you of all people would be very familiar with what happens to things that get eaten.”

He shook his head. “i want to eat you, sure, but I never want to hurt you. I... I could make it safe...” He blushes. “There are all kinds of protection spells out there, I even already know a couple of them.”

“So then if you weren’t holding back out of fear of hurting me...?”

“I was afraid I’d make you uncomfortable if I gave in and asked; I know the concept is pretty odd and even a bit terrifying to humans.”

Darling could hardly believe the situation she was in right now; if it weren’t for Beel’s still growling stomach, one would be able to hear a pin drop. “Okay,” She took a breath. “First of all, could you please let me sit up.”

His ears stiffened as though he’d only now realized what position he had her in, and he quickly pushed himself up and scooted back to give her some space.

“Thank you.” She raised a hand to run it through her hair. “This is kind of a lot to take in, if I’m being honest.”

Beel clutched his wrist to his chest, a clear nervous sign of his. “I know...” Another growl tore out of his stomach and he winced.

“I hate seeing you in pain like this...” The mental cogs in her head were turning as she looked at him, an idea clear and building. The prey instincts screamed and scolded her for even humoring it, but another part of her thought back to what he’d said earlier, his description of the hunger she made him feel and of her being swallowed up into his stomach. She wondered how it’d feel to be surrounded by him like that... Why was her face so hot? “You can really promise I won’t be digested?” Was she really going through with this?

The look on his face made it clear he couldn’t believe it either. It took him a couple seconds to find his words. “I, uh, yeah, yeah i promise I wouldn’t ever allow you to get hurt, especially by me.”

She chewed on her lip for a minute, wrestling with logical thought and primal fear and this new desire she’d never been able to entertain before. “I trust you, Beel; I know for a fact that you would never betray me.”

“Then you’re saying...!”

She looked into his eyes, a sure smile on her face. “If this is what will help you stop being in pain, then of course I will.”  

Cautiously, oh so cautiously, he crawled back over towards her. “You’re... sure?”

“Positive.” She cupped his cheek in her hand. "Ah, what about these horns, though?" She gestured to the top of her head.

 "Hm. They might be a bit of a challenge... but nothing I can't handle." Smiling affectionately, he placed a hand between her horns to lightly ruffle her hair. "Thank you,Darling."  A soft kiss was pressed to her forehead. "I promise to keep you safe." And then he whispered some words in a tongue that she had no idea what they meant, but they caused a warmth to wash over her like a blanket of security. 

 His tongue flicked out over the spot he kissed, before he shuffled back a bit until he was kneeling by her feet, gingerly picking up both and lifting them towards his opening mouth. She couldn't help the way her breath hitched at the sight. Shit, this was actually happening; Beel was actually going to eat her. Even knowing it was safe, she knew at least some of the fear she felt was a basic human instinct running back to their time closer to the bottom of the food chain. 

 He paused once her feet hit the back of his throat, and he looked up at her, giving her one last chance to back away from this precipice. She nodded her head, giving him the silent go ahead. He swallowed, deeply, as though he were a man starving, and she felt the slick muscles suck her feet and legs deeper within, until quick as that she was up to her thighs right below her hips. Her feet already pushed into the wider space of his stomach. A groan shuddered through Beel; and though his mouth was occupied, she could tell he was smiling. She shivered at the feeling of his tongue running over her thighs, tasting her skin and drinking in her flavor. His jaw ground lightly against her, not enough to hurt but enough to make it clear he was very much enjoying this meal. 

 He grabbed her by the waist and in one smooth motion hefted her up so she was now upright, looking down at what awaited her. Another heavy gulp and she slid further; first to her chest, her arms pinned to her sides, and soon her entire vision was engulfed by the cavernous mouth. Hot breath washed over her and she twitched at the ticklish sensation. The muscles of his throat though, she was surprised at how soft it felt against her face. Something pressed tenderly against her from outside the throat, and she figured it was safe to assume that pressure was Beel feeling her as she slide through his throat, until finally the large bulge of her head dipped into his chest. She felt his grunt of discomfort more than she heard it as his throat struggled with her horns, but there was never a possibility of her being too much of a meal for the avatar of gluttony to handle. She piled into his stomach, forced to curl up into a ball in the constricting space. A deep sigh resounded around her, satisfaction singing out of it. 

"You taste even better than I imagined." His voice rumbled through her.

 Hesitantly, she placed a hand on the stomach wall before her; her hand involuntarily flinching back at first contact. "Beel?" 

 "Yeah? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Concern laced his voice, and his hands gripped the under side of his stomach. 

 "I- I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm a little in shock still I guess; you actually did it. I'm in a stomach." Her skin wasn't burning and melting off, so she figured that meant whatever spell he put on her earlier was working as intended. 

 "I did, yeah." She couldn’t see his expression, but she could hear the nerves in his usually so steady voice, now so vulnerable and unsure; not about her safety, but for the standing of their relationship with this new introduction. "How do you feel?" 

 "I feel..." 

How does she feel? Scared, certainly, the duel primal instincts within her still telling her this was all wrong. Curious, all of this was so entirely new and something she hadn't even considered as possible up until a few minutes ago. But there was another feeling too, one that came from the surprisingly plush walls, the soothing warmth, and the solid presence of the man surrounding her. "... Comfortable. I feel comfortable." 

 "Really?" He relaxed around her, the smile he had on evident. A pressure roamed against her, his hand rubbing circles into his stomach. 

 "Yeah, honestly I wasn't expecting it to feel so nice in her. I think it will still take me a minute to fully relax in this situation, but... You're really comfortable, Beel." 

"I’m glad. I knew you'd feel nice in there, but imagining it is nothing compared to how you actually feel." 

 She giggled. "Exactly how much fantasizing have you done about me, Beelzebub?" 

 "Ah, well that's, I-"

The voice sounded farther away than it was do to being muffled by Beel's stomach, but she could faintly make out Levi calling out. "Hey, Beel! Are you back to normal?" 

 "Is Darling still alive?" Belphie chimed in. 

 "Ah." Beel gripped his stomach a little tighter, his back to his brothers so they couldn’t see how it hung out in front of him. "Yeah, she is."

 "Then where'd she go?" Mammon asks. 

 "About that..."

[disastrousxdebby]

P-=

1 - What was the last thing you watched on TV? I was trying to watch the new season of American Horror Story but, this season seems like it's a bit iffy and rough with itself. It surely didn't keep my attention like other seasons have.

2 - Do you have the heating or air conditioning on at the moment? I have a fan on at the moment.

3 - When was the last time you did something to help someone else? I tried to talk to my coworker and help her out some... however, I feel like I may have not been able to help as much as I would have liked. x.x

4 - If you have a job, have you been busier or quieter since the whole COVID thing hit? In the beginning of it... it was really crazy and busy but, then it died down when there was a limit and curfew?! Then after things started opening again... it got crazy busy again but, usually in the winter it's quiet.

5 - Do you spend more time on your own or with others? Are you happy with that? I spend more time on my own with family. I would like to go out and hang out with others eventually. More or less... find a decent significant other. I have been single for five years and it's nice but, I still would like to think as well that there is someone out there for me. x'D I am a weirdo.

6 - Do you know anyone who has been diagnosed with autism? Yeah.

7 - Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? What about your tonsils or your appendix? I have my tonsils and appendix. I am trying to get my wisdom teeth removed because they cause issues for me. So... I have an appointment in September to get a cleaning done but, I really hope they can pull the teeth out as well asap.

8 - Are you scared of needles? Yeah huh.

9 - Do you dress more for comfort, fashion or practicality? I dress more for comfort now a days.

10 - When was the last time you smoked a cigarette? I don't smoke.

11 - Would you rather drink tea, coffee, hot chocolate or water? I should be drinking more water but, I can't go without coffee sadly.

12 - Do you have a lot of ornaments around your house? If I owned my own place... x'D I would definitely have a lot of decor around it. I have as much ornaments and decor I can around my mother's place. I even stick random stuff around her home and car. This morning I made another Parasyte sticker and stuck it on the back of my mother's van. My fave characters... Migi and Shinichi ...my other fave characters from the show are Murano and Ryoko Tamiya (more so because she was a mother... even though she was a parasyte and gave birth to a human child, she protected that human child with her all. You could tell how she changed with time... is what I feel.) Also, Kana I liked her as well.

13 - Do you own more books or DVD’s? I own more books.

14 - How often would you say you took surveys? I really like taking surverys and sharing with others if they are ever curious about me.

15 - Have you ever worn a uniform to school or work? They spoke about having students wear uniforms to school but, it never happened when I was going to school. I do have to wear a uniform at work ... it kind of sucks because I am an ASM and I feel like we should be able to have a bit more freedom in our clothing choice but, good news is that ... they allow us to wear blue jeans now! [[-=

16 - Who was the first person you had a sleepover with? Are you still in touch with that person today? I think the first person that I ever had a sleep over with was my best friend Lariah and we are grown now... so we have a lot that we do in our lives. We very rarely ever get to see one another or speak anymore sadly.

17 - When you were growing up, did you have any friends who were almost like family to you? Most definitely.

18 - Could you cook an entire Christmas or Thanksgiving Dinner entirely on your own with no help from other people or recipe books? For the most part, I think I would be able to do something of the sorts but, I still would need a tad bit of help.

19 - Do you cook from scratch or do you rely more on ready meals or frozen food? I really enjoy cooking from scratch but, because my schedule is so crazy and busy most times... I have to deal with the ready made stuff or frozen. x.x On my days off though... I tend to cook dinner sometimes and make that from scratch.

20 - What’s your favourite type of fast food? Is it something you eat often? I try to stay away from fast food however if I am out and about it's mostly burger king that I am grabbing and eating. x.x

21 - If you’ve been under a lockdown or stay-at-home order, what did you find the most difficult about it? I wish I could be under something of sorts sometimes.. I would have more time to craft. Aha... as long as I am getting paid for it and eventually I could go back to work. I never had a "pause" from work. I even got a letter stating that I was allowed to be out past the state's curfew because of work and being "essential".

22 - Do you still buy or read any magazines? Sometimes. The last two magazines that I brought were a health one and another one about sleep studies. I'm a geek or nerd. x.x

23 - As a teenager, what did you spend most of your pocket money or allowance on? Definitely food.

24 - Do you have much of a sweet tooth? Sometimes. I don't eat a lot of sugar often... but, I do have moments where I eat a lot of gummies and recently I tried chocolate covered roasted coffee beans and they are really yummy too.

25 - Are there any common “popular” foods that you don’t particularly like yourself? Have people ever told you you’re odd/strange for disliking that particular food? Mayo on sand. Peanut Butter and Jelly (ever two blue moons I may eat one of those sand.) I really don't favor any kind of mayo on my sand. unless it's a gas station made sand. it has to have extra oil and vinegar on it with the mayo and not just plain mayo but, for a sand it's just usually meat, cheese and the bread for me. I have been told I am pretty odd for such a thing.

26 - Likewise, are there are any commonly hated foods that you love? I guess frozen tater tots if that counts...haha...

27 - Would you rather eat pizza or pasta? Pizza.

28 - Do you own a lot of store loyalty cards? Nope.

29 - When was the last time you read a newspaper? A while ago.

30 - What kind of noises can you hear around you right now? My family. <3

[fcxryzen]

TAG GAME

tagged by: @overthemoonbae sorry this is so late:((

what’s your favorite color?

i really like pastel pink and blue!! but sage green is also really pretty!

what’s your lucky number?

13!

do you have any pets?

yep! i have a dog & a cat!

how tall are you?

five two☹️☹️

how many pairs of shoes do you have?

four! two of them i bought not too long ago and still need to break in and one pair is like two years old and NEEDS to be retired

favorite song?

you can’t sit with us by sunmi!

favorite movie?

i’m not sure! i really enjoy to all the boys i’ve loved before, all the bright places, and the half of it, they’re probably my top favorite to watch but i wouldn’t say they’re my favorite movies ever, if that makes sense??

what would your ideal partner be like?

someone nice, and funny, and understanding! someone who would listen when i talk and wouldn’t get upset when i constantly interrupt them cause i’m excited to tell them something. and someone who gives good hugs😁😁😁

do you want children?

i can see myself being a parent!

have your gotten in trouble with the law?

i’ve definitely done something illegal at least once in my life👍👍

bath or shower?

shower!!!

what color socks are you wearing?

feet🥰🥰🥰

favorite type of music?

k-pop!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

zero, i just lay on my arms lol

what position do you sleep in?

lots of different positions, usually with one leg up and my arms up near my head sksjjsks

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when i finally get comfortable and then i have to pee:((

what did you have for breakfast?

two and a half cheese sticks😁😁😁

have you ever tried archery?

nope!

favorite fruit?

apples!

favorite swear word?

probably the f-word🤪 #quirky😍😍💯‼️👍😘🥰😉

do you have any scars?

if you look close enough you can see spots on my skin where i had scabs that i would peel for like three weeks to a month before letting them fully heal😁😁

are you a good liar?

depends on the lie and who i’m lying to🤨🤨

what’s your personality type?

I CAN NEVER REMEMBER TNRNSNSN

what’s your favorite type of girl?

chaeryoung<333

innie or outie?

innie!

left or right handed?

right handed!

favorite food?

pasta with butter and bread with garlic butter from this one restaurant and i had it last week it was so yummy:((

favorite foreign food?

i don’t eat foreign food:((

are you clean or messy?

in big spaces i’m very messy but i’m clean in tinier places

most used phrase?

i’m not sure🤔

how long does it take you to get ready?

for school it would take me like 45 minutes i’d say cause i needed to like fully wake up but i don’t get ready anymore🙂🙂🙂

do you talk to yourself?

indeed😁😁😁

do you sing to yourself?

mhmm!

are you a good singer?

i’ve received a decent amount of compliments on my singing in my years of living but i don’t really sing anymore so i’m not sure if my voice is as good as i used to😔😔

biggest fear?

i have four- spiders, bugs in general (specifically when they fly/crawl around), needles, and wiggly teeth

do you like long or short hair?

i like having long hair (my hair isn’t the longest ever, it’s kinda like medium length but it’s the longest i’ve ever had) but it’s really hard to take care of since my hair is pretty thick (obviously not the thickest) and since it’s thick it makes me overheated pretty easily on hot days if i have it down

favorite school subject?

i hate school😐😐

introvert or extrovert?

i think i’m an ambivert.. or something

what makes you nervous?

when bugs are in my house, going outside at night, school, doctors/dentist appointments, probably some other stuff too

who was your first real crush?

i don’t think i’ve had a “real” crush yet lol

how fast can you run?

i used to be able to run pretty fast but it would make my ribs hurt really badly so i’d get winded really quickly and couldn’t go very far and i haven’t ran in a while so i’m definitely not as fast as i used to be

what color is your hair?

dark brown! but sometimes, when the light hits it just right it looks like light brown sometimes even reddish!

do you like your own name?

it’s really unique so to that degree it’s nice, but sometimes i don’t really like it which is sad cause it’s a really pretty name:((

what makes you angry?

lots of things

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i’m fine with having a kid that’s any gender!

what are your strengths?

i don’t really think i have any strengths

what are your weaknesses?

i don’t think i have any strengths:(

what’s the color of your bedspread?

it’s purple.. i don’t really like it

what’s the color of your room?

it’s like a greenish blueish color? like it’s turquoise

tagging… whoever wants to do it!!

© fcxryzen 2021

[bobasheebaby]

91 Lucifer prompts

Some of my favorite quotes from my favorite devil. (Cut at 15 cause it’s long.)

Lucifer Morningstar

1 “People don’t arrive broken. They start with passion and yearning until something comes along that disabuses them of those notions.”

2 “People don’t have power over us. We give it to them.” 

3 “The best thing to do is always to follow your greatest desire.”

4 “Sometimes we are what we are, and we should embrace that.”

5 “Desire shouldn’t be contained, it’s unnatural.” 

6 “Why do humans think they can rectify one evil with another?”

7 “Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

8 “Believe me, there is no winning when you play by a twisted tyrant’s rules.” 

9 “You shouldn’t have to change for anyone. And neither should I.” 

10 “I refuse to be a scapegoat for which something I bear no responsibility. It’s a theme in my life.”

11 “Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time. I know evil.”

12 “If you desire something, just take it.”

13 “Trust me, if there’s one thing I know, it’s desire.”

14 “What I hate more than anything is a liar, a charlatan, someone who doesn’t believe in what they say.”

15 “Hell truly hath no fury like a man/woman scorned.”

16 “No one gives us the right… we take it.”

17 “Mmm, dangerous. NAME likes.”

18 “There was immediate danger. He/she was about to leave this man/woman completely unsatisfied.”

19 “When in doubt, go with the classics. That’s what I always say.”

20 “Guilt is such a useless emotion”

21 “Take a swing and I’ll shove that so far up your ass, you’ll have splinters in your stool.”

22 “What makes us vulnerable is often right under our noses.”

23 “Now tell me, what is it that you truly desire?”

24 “Well, maybe it’s like butt stuff. Easier the second time around.”

25 “It’s always the ones you least suspect, the ones you trust the most, that hurt you. They wait until your guard is down and then wham! In my case, it was tequila.”

Chloe Decker

26 “It’s better to move forward than stay stuck in the past.” 

27 “We can’t control what happens to us only how it affects us and the choices we make.”

28 “You have to stop taking responsibility for things that you can’t control.” 

29 “Sometimes we get along best with the people we’re most different from.”

30 “Pull yourself together. You look like a homeless magician!”

31 “It’s really not a good day for… your… NAMEness”

32 “You don’t save a marriage by sleeping with other people.”

33 “If you go looking for loopholes, you’ll always find them.”

34 “NAME’s not another guy/gal. He’s/She’s a weirdo.”

35 “As any parent knows, the best time to get things done is when everyone else is asleep.”

36 “I wasn't afraid of you.”

37 “I don't want you to see me like this. I know it scares you.” “No, that's... that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not... I'm not afraid of you anymore.” “You're not?” “You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet. I'm going to puke.”

38 “I miss him/her. I mean, he/she pisses me off all the time. And there are so many things about him/her that ... that I find hard to accept, but I just have to believe I can find a way. Because ... I'd rather have him/her in my life than not.” “Well, then... I think you know what you need to do.”

39 “You're different than me. You're stronger. You could have run, but you didn't. Why didn't you?”

40 “It's not like you haven't always told me the truth. You know? So ... I think, deep down, I just ... I always knew.”

41 “Let's pretend for one second that you're someone else. Someone nice, someone mature.” “Ooh, I love role-play.”

42 “What, you're just gonna leave me here? In this part of town?” “You said you wanted danger.”

43 “Please tell me I'm hallucinating.” “Well, I am dreamy, but try to contain yourself.”

44 “You step out of line one time …” “You can give me a right-good spanking, I promise.”

45 “This cannot be true. Can it? I mean ... if you knew this, why wouldn't you say something? I mean, I almost married him/her. I mean, I almost married him/her.” “I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.”

46 “Oh, my God. Did the world just turn upside down? Did you just admit to being wrong?”

47 “You know, it can be scary sometimes, but ... being who you really are is never a bad idea.”

48 “I need you to stay here and watch your dad/mom.” “That's true. Without the two of us, he’s/she's defenseless.” “I don't know if I like what you're whispering about.”

49 “How long have I been out?” “Three years.” “What?!” [NAME starts laughing] “You’re such an ass.”

50 “I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up all night working, and, you know, I drank a lot of caffeine. Like, a lot.”

Mazikeen Smith

51 “If you go by someone else’s pace, it shows how much you really care.”

52 “Sometimes you have to accept when someone doesn’t feel the same way about you.” 

53 “Self-worth comes from within, bitches.” 

54 “I would never ask you to change. I like who you are.” 

55 “Hey! No one calls my skank a skank.” 

56 “Good. It's settled. Now, where do I put my knives.”

57 “Okay. One, I like to fight when I'm happy or ... horny. And, two, I really don't want to accidentally kill my best friend.”

58 “Maybe next time, I won't be around to save your ass.” “Mm! Well, that is a shame. 'Cause you and my backside used to get on very well. My front side, as well, actually.”

59 “And your name?” “NAME.” “How do you spell that?” “Surprise me.” [Later gets coffee with "WRONG NAME" on it]

60 “Everything that happened showed me exactly why I need to go back.” “I don't understand.”

Linda Martin

61 “Emotions are hard, but that’s why they make you strong.” 

62 “Goodness isn’t a toy.”

63 “Sometimes we need to lose something to understand its value.”

64 “Sometimes it’s easier to make intimate issues about something bigger than yourself.” 

65 “I find people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives. Terrified of not being in control.”

66 “Look... I know I'm not dad/mom, or partner or whatever. But I ...” “No. No, you're not. Come here. You are Uncle/Auntie NAME. And you will always ... be a member of this family.”

67 “Let's talk about what you're dealing with emotionally.” “Yeah, I really don't want to.”

68 “Why is he:she able to refuse my charms? I mean, is this thing on?” [points at him/herself] “Yes, yes. Definitely on.”

69 “How's that saying go? We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.”

70 “Should've seen that one coming.”

Amenadiel

71 “We need the most love when we’re being most unlovable.” 

72 “No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain. We suffer, or inflict.”

73 “Cosmos are yummy.”

74 “If you really want to know if you’re a worthy romantic partner, ask yourself.”

75 “NAME. What are you doing here? Did you hurt NAME?” “Only when he/she asked me nicely.”

Ella Lopez

76 “Whenever I’m procrastinating on something, I make an appointment for myself to do it. That way, can’t back out.”

77 “You see what I'm dealing with?”

78 “Hey. No one insults my family, except for me.”

79 [high on "candy"] “I know I should be freaking out right now, but your hair is so shiny.”

80 I'm usually not into reality shows either. I prefer more, you know, scripted-content, documentaries, but... I've got a little extra time these days, so... sort of kind of watched, uh, 27 seasons in two weeks.

Dan Espinoza 

81 “We all need someone to have our backs every now and then.”

82 “Ooh, lemon bars. My favorite. Mmm. Oh, man, these are amazing. Who made 'em?” “Uh, NAME did. Would you believe that hunk bakes?” [spits out the bars] “On second thought, who needs the empty calories?”

83 “Say you fall in love with a man/woman who has a cat. What are you gonna do? You accept the cat.” 

84 “Are you sleeping with this idiot?” “He/She hasn't had the pleasure, unfortunately, no.”

85 “Dude, I cannot deal with your weirdness right now.”

Trixie Espinoza

86 “We’re wearing the same shirt!” [both] “Sushi shirt!” [from around the corner] “I don’t know what’s going on out there, but I hate it!”

87 “I ate it.” “Mm-hmm.” “But NAME said it was okay.” “Oh, really?” “He/She said, if you really want to do something, you should. And I really wanted to eat some chocolate cake.”

88 “Are you looking at a no-no site?” “No. Why would you think that?” “Because you put it away so fast, and you look really, really guilty.”

89 “NAME, sever their Achilles first. If they can't walk ...” “They can't betray you.”

90 “You need to get a thicker skin. Stand up for yourself, because the truth is, nobody’s gonna do it for you.” — Charlotte Richards

91 “Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you … you.” — Ev

[anomitafics]

When The Heart Beats || [7]

WHEN THE HEART BEATS|| Levi Ackerman x Reader

CHAPTER VII

"You're your own person. Decide for yourselves."

Eyes widened at Levi's words, Farlan tried for the right words to form. The continuous buzzing of the mess hall never helping.

He was ecstatic at the thought of having their captain sit with them throughout dinner.

'Maybe this would make them view us more as an equal...'

He couldn't help but reminisce the harsh memories of constant mocking stares and cruel hushed whispers they were able to receive as an ironic welcome.

"Well, we'd be delighted--" Isabel's exclamation had prevented Farlan from continuing another word as she pointed out to (Y/N)'s empty front.

"But you're not bringing any food with ya'!"

"Well... " the [c] haired female leaned in closer as if to not let anyone hear aside from them.

Levi couldn't help but notice the fragrant smell of roses lightly lingering on her hair.

"...would you three like to eat at my office?"

Levi's frown had even been much deeper than before, as while Farlan and Isabel both had dumbfounded expressions on their faces.

'The fuck did she get the food from?'

"...I don't really favor the food from the kitchen..." (Y/N) sheepishly explained, noticing their sudden change of expressions.

Deciding that she'd be needing to wait for them to decide, (Y/N) plopped herself onto the creaked wooden bench.

"Well... I guess I am still kinda' hungry..." smiling sheepishly, Isabel started standing up from her seat.

Staring at her Captain's arms, she suddenly had the urge to encase one into hers, gently tugging, urging the young captain to stand up.

(Y/N)'s dark eyes lit in delight as she stood up along side Isabel who was still holding her arm.

Levi however, was aware of the filthy stares the other soldiers were shooting Isabel. Along with the whispers of hate who danced around the strawberry haired female and their respected captain.

"The hell's wrong with that underthug? Clinging to the Captain like that..."

"I'm pretty sure they've already stolen a few things from the poor Captain..."

"Who the hell do they think they are?"

"They don't even deserve being placed under her squad."

And he would be damned if he couldn't beat up at least one.

Standing up from his seat, Levi tried to confront the one with the most taunting stare.

Farlan noticing Levi's sudden change in focus, was fast to hold Levi's arm in restraint to the stern male's actions.

"We probably should go with them." looking at where the blonde's gaze was situated, Levi watched as Isabel and their captain squeezed through the crowd. Bumping and being slightly thrown out in the process.

And just like that, there they were again. Following in tow after her, as they ventured through the same halls to her office. Their boots made soft dignified clanks resonating through the cramped walls.

The heavy door creaked open as the small group silently made their way in.

And once again, Levi was welcomed by that fragrant smell.

Unlike their first time in the office, Levi was now able to scan the room without feeling wrong.

Eyes studying everything within his sight, he continued to walk his way inside the office.

And sure was the onyx haired male satisfied with how everything looked neat and organized.

He resisted the urge to touch the under part of her office table. It may look organized but he can never know if it were clean.

'...Maybe another time..."

Farlan nudged Levi's form slightly, making the male look at whatever Farlan had wanted to show.

And there, in front of them, was the finest dinner they've ever seen.

To the trio's surprise, there were food like pork meat, chicken--or was it a turkey--, and a white substance they couldn't determine.

"Wow!! These all look so yummy!" Isabel exclaimed, already taking as sit on one of the chairs, her carefree movements making series of noises.

"...and damned expensive." Levi murmured under his breath as they walked over to the table.

The smell of food getting mouthwatering by the second.

"Just make sure you all won't tell anyone about this." (Y/N) chuckled softly as she scratched the back of her head nervous. She too had took her seat next to Isabel.

Oh was she going to be in deep trouble.

The table was an eight seater, and Levi had a quick contemplation on weather sitting beside the captain or in front the captain.

"The hell did you get the money to afford all this?" came Levi's brusque question, as they all sat around the dinner table. He decided on sitting neither nor his previous choices: he sat in front of Isabel.

"You embezzling the Corps' funds or something?"

Levi clearly didn't know how to start a proper conversation, yet still attempted on doing so.

The male wanted to show his friends that he wasn't that tight on engaging with her anymore, and thus starting a conversation.

Levi's question made the young captain halt her movements, making the trio eye her with concern, yet the captain, was indeed, smiling.

(Y/N) couldn't help but remember a certain memory back at her trainee days.

"Hange! Over here!"

The brunette frantically looked around, in search of her dear friend's voice.

Finally being able to find her, Hange ran carelessly to her side.

There, (Y/N) stood, smiling as she held two pack lunches on both her [c] hands.

"Again?!! Where'd you get all that food from?!" Hange held both her hands on her head as if to emphasize her distress.

"...did you stole it from the officer's pantry? " she whispered this time, aware of what big trouble they'd get if one were to hear.

"What...? No! Of course not!" (Y/N) waved her hands in denial, her head whipped around making sure nobody had heard.

"Then where???" Hange asked, extremely curious.

"Well..."

"Oi! (Y/N)!"

Not too far away from them, a young cadet called out. His slicked blonde hair slightly coming loose near the ear, blue orbs narrowing as he checked if he got the right cadet.

Hange eyed the jogging blonde haired male, curious of who would even know (Y/N)'s name without her being aware of it.

The male just didn't look familiar.

Hange was sure she was always in tail after her, so it didn't make sense that she doesn't find this cadet who knew (Y/N) familiar.

The brunette turned to look at the [c] woman beside her, only to see her staring at the unknown male with unease flashed before her features.

Eyes narrowed, Hange once again studied the incoming male, her eyes landed on his vest and instantly, the brunette's eyes went wide.

"H-he's not in training (Y/N)!! He's already part of the Survey Corps!" she shouted as she slightly shook her in confusion.

The sound of polished boots hitting the grass carpeted ground was louder, making it known that the male cadet was closer.

(Y/N) just stood there, as Hange kept babbling about how that guy was able to see the Titans already.

Why would Erwin...?

"How's training going? You should keep in mind to at least be ranked among the top 10. That way you could enter the Military Police Brigade." Erwin paid no mind of the brunette beside (Y/N) who seemed to be staring at him in such maniacal manner.

"Erwin! Why would you be here?" came (Y/N)'s chirped question.

"EEHH?? YOU KNOW HIM?!" Hange exclaimed, the woman almost looked like she was shaking in curiosity.

"He's a friend of mine." (Y/N) murmured, Erwin had also caught the attention of some of her classmates.

"Commander Shadis came to the city and I joined him." the blonde suddenly looked like he remembered something, rumaging through his pockets he continued:

"I was able to see your mom in the process and she asked me to hand you these."

In Erwin's palm, were two gold nuggets. Shining brightly as the Sun hit it's surface.

(Y/N) hurriedly grabbed the blonde's hand close, yet it was no match for Hange's quick kick of intellect.

"That's where all those food came from!" Hange shouted pointing at Erwin's covered palms.

"...food?" the blonde's gaze snapped back at the young woman who's trying hard to cover his hands.

It was a futile attempt to hide it now that the brunette seemed to have already found out. Yet what does she mean by 'food'.

"Those are for medicine purposes. Don't tell me you use it for anything else aside from that." Erwin continued.

"You mean (Y/N)'s a damn nobel! But why...?" Hange's voice trailed off not being able to continue as she had already buried herself in deep thought.

She just couldn't believe that her friend, the one who had joined her in scrubbing the stabbles as punishment, was in deed a nobel. But why would she even take part in the training corps.

"Yes indeed, (Y/N) is a part of a noble household from the West of Wall Sina, she's here to join the Military Police for experience purposes and will withdraw after a year. So please be mindful with you attitude towards her." eyes narrowing at Hange protectively, Erwin explained.

And yet, plans are always meant to be broken anyway.

That day, poor (Y/N) was instantly bombarded with questions from the brunette.

Some she couldn't even answer herself.

(Y/N) stared at the trio as she finally finished telling them about a certain memory, she knew she had to share in order to answer their questions.

Levi stared back not knowing how to reply.

So she was a nobel.

Silence filled the room as everyone waited for another to speak, neither Farlan nor Isabel knew how to react.

Levi watched as the young female stood up from her seat, idly serving the white substance they weren't quite familiar with on their plates separately.

It was her own way of breaking the dense silence surrounding the room, and he couldn't help but let out a satisfied breathe.

He didn't even notice that he was holding it back. Maybe because it was the fact that she was indeed a noble, and here he was, being served, by a person who's life is worth thousands of gold.

How ironic, that her job includes having to get killed anytime, and at the most gruesome way possible.

Levi was very confused both at the current situation and how he was feeling. He couldn't even bring himself to pull off a snarky comment that he didn't even had problems with earlier.

He could feel his brows furrowing further, yet the latter was too confused to even care about it.

What was this feeling? It was so strong he could feel it in his guts.

'Dang it feels like having to go to shit.'

He couldn't understand why he was so affected by the fact that she was noble.

Was it because of his respect for her growing too much for his shitty pride?

Was it because he was trusting her too fast?

Was it because of the fact that he despises nobles and he couldn't bring himself to even feel anger towards her anymore?

Or was it because he wanted to hit her hard until she realizes that she could've just enjoyed a great life within the walls without fearing death at any moment and grow old not having to witness the gruesome reality of what lies outside the world.

He doesn't know, and he didn't plan on knowing.

He was here because of something he had to do, a crime he had to commit, in order to bring his friends and himself out of the shity place they once called home.

END OF CHAPTER VII

ANOMITAFICS

When The Heart Beats Masterlist    <--------- Chapters here

[all1e23]

Serendipity [One-shot]

Pairings: Alpha!Steve x Reader

Summary:  Things between you and Steve have always been a little frosty, but you’re starting to warm up. 

Warnings:  Nada. It’s just cute fluff. Well, I guess A/B/O Dynamics, but tbh it’s fairly light throughout. 

A/N:   This is for @thefanficfaerie Disney Quote Challenge!  My prompt was the song “Something There” from Beauty and the Beast. They live at the compound. Yes, Bucky is there because I like everyone together and happy, okay??? Send me love because I’m needy.  

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!*

Steve Rogers hated you.

There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

It was the only explanation for the way he acted around you. He despised you; no rhyme or reason you could think of. You had no idea what you did to make him dislike you so much, but whatever the reasoning behind his feelings, Steve wasn’t letting it go. The two of you barely shared a word upon your arrival to the compound, but from the first moment, Steve laid eyes on you; his feelings toward you were quite clear.

Most days, Steve could barely look at you, and if it were possible for him to do so, he would leave the second you entered the room. No matter what was happening, he would excuse himself and dart out of the room as if it were on fire.  Missions together were a rarity, but when they did happen, Steve would stay unusually close to you, notwithstanding the amount of contempt his heart held for you. Whenever this practice was brought to his attention, Steve simply said he had to ensure you stay safe; you’re part of his team and an Omega after all.

Because an Omega couldn’t possibly be able to protect themselves without a strong Alpha to watch over them? He was Lucky Natasha didn’t hear him say that.

So much for Captain America being all for orientation equality.

It was more than the way he looked at you, though, or didn’t look at you. You heard the whispers within the team. You weren’t the only one who noticed Steve’s behavior towards you. Tony, Bucky, and Natasha were glued to the two of you like they were watching some overly dramatized reality show.

But, hearing it from his lips hurt more than you expected.

You wandered through the halls,  intent on stopping to grab a snack in the kitchen, and maybe see if Clint was up for a movie night. You were coming to the end of your heat, and after three days of being cooped up, you were finally able to leave your room without the fear of disrupting the rest of the Alphas on the team. You were about to round the corner when you stumbled upon Steve and Tony having what looked to be a tense chat.

Not that it was unusual for them, the topic, however, piqued your interest.

“I’m telling you I can’t be around her right now,” your feet froze, keeping you firmly planted to the ground as you peered around the corner to find Steve standing before Tony, arms crossed over Steve's chest and that lovely scowl on his face; the one you were sure he saved just for you.

“You’ve been around an Omega in heat before, Capscicle. I don’t see the problem.”

“I’m not talking about other Omegas! I can’t be around her,” Steve growled, sending a shiver through you. The bitter edge in his growl was enough to cause you to slink back and hide behind the wall.

Clearly, Steve didn't want to see you, and you weren't about to go out there now. Not while he was making sure Tony and anyone else within earshot knew just how he felt about you and, well, you got the message loud and clear.

Tony’s sharp whistle hit your ears, and you risked a quick glance back at the two Alphas; Tony grinned at the taller Alpha and shook his head, “You’ve got to get over her being here.”

“I can’t,” Steve snapped. “I can barely stand to be in the same room as her.”

Oh, because you're so great to be around all the time, you thought. You couldn’t keep listening to how much Steve couldn’t stand the thought of being near you. It was too much. Movie night forgotten, you tiptoed back to your room and locked the door behind you.

If he didn’t want to be around you, he wouldn't have to. You were teammates, not friends, and he made that quite clear tonight.  

“Cap, I know things were different in the ’40s, but nowadays, when you find your mate, you don’t avoid them. Maybe flirt a little. Tell her she smells yummy. She’s got that sweet flowery scent, right?” 

Steve’s eyes flashed red as a warning. “Yes, she’s... roses and vanilla.” 

Tony grinned and continued on, “Throw her a few rumbles. I doubt she will turn you away. You should see the way she looks at you.”

“Because I look like this?” 

Steve waved his hands down, gesturing at his large and very muscular frame before quickly dropping his gaze from Tony’s. Tony finally understood why Steve was going to such great lengths to avoid the Omega. Steve liked you. He wanted you more than Tony grasped from first glance, and Steve was worried you would only see him as Captain America -- as that Alpha, not as Steve.

“I’m not gonna lie. You’re a delicious slice of beefcake. Don’t tell anyone else I said that, but no, that’s not why. Y/n is your mate. Not Captain America’s mate. Steve Roger’s mate,” Tony patted his shoulder and made his way towards the elevator. 

“Don’t be an idiot. Just spend some time with her without all the pressure. You’ll be fine.”

---------------------

“Who the hell buys a stove like this?” You grumbled quietly as your eyes roamed over the twenty or so buttons on the newfangled stove Tony had put in the kitchen. All you wanted to do was make a sandwich and slink off back to your room before tall, blond, and grumpy got a hold of you and drained every ounce of joy from your day. You twisted a knob that resembled something close to what would turn on a conventional burner, but it didn’t help. The large appliance just beeped loudly, and all the lights slowly faded to black.

“What the hell?” You groaned and let your head fall against the cupboard in front of you. 

You were never going to eat at this rate. It would be takeout for the rest of your life!  A deep chuckle filled the air behind you, and you spun around to find Steve standing there, smirking at you and looking utterly adorable. 

Why couldn’t you hate him back? It would make things so much easier if you could hate him as much as he hated you.

“Need help?” Steve asked you, shaky and unsure as if he was worried you would yell at him merely for asking. That was so unlike the way Steve usually acted around you. 

“Um, I guess? I don’t really get this stupid stove. The knobs say nothing. How are you supposed to know which is which or what is low heat, and what is high heat? Why couldn’t Tony just buy a normal stove? One that isn’t so difficult to turn on.”

“You’re asking me why Tony does the things he does?”

You chuckled and gave a light shrug in response.

Steve walked up behind you and rested his arms on the counter surrounding the stove, leaning in to rumble softly in your ear, “You could have asked FRIDAY to turn it on for you. Do you want me to show you how to work it, or I can make it for you if you would like?”

You closed your eyes and started to sink back against his chest. That heady scent of amber and cedarwood set your skin on fire and left your head spinning. You didn’t want him to make you anything, or maybe you did. You’re not so sure what you want from him anymore. It was confusing with him standing so close and talking to you in that voice.

“Um, you can m--make it,” you whispered, earning a pleased hum from the Alpha behind you, and you quickly realized you were standing far too close, but, oh, you wished you could hear him make that noise again. You peeked back over your shoulder, no longer leaning into his warmth. Steve’s eyes had gone dark but were unreadable. He was probably thinking how incredibly incompetent you were if you couldn’t even work a stove.

No doubt, this will be added to his list of reasons to hate you.

‘If you don’t mind,” you added quickly.

“I don’t mind at all, Y/n. Go sit down, and I’ll make it,” Steve assured you and ushered you towards the stools behind the two of you. He truly didn’t mind. Steve wanted to take care of you in any way you would let him. The Alpha in him had been screaming at him to do so for months. If the only way to take care of you was making your lunch, then he was more than happy to do so.

Steve’s eyes raked over all the ingredients you had laid out on the counter and turned back to you with his brow raised, glowing smile on his face and asked, “Grilled cheese? Really?”

Was he... teasing you? Interesting.

“Grown-ups can eat grilled cheese, Steve. Don’t give me that look. I’m even using Tony’s fancy cheese. It basically becomes a four-star meal if you add expensive cheese.” 

Steve snorted and turned back around towards the stove.  You tried to watch what he was doing so you wouldn’t have to ask for help next time, but your mind was too busy trying to catch your racing thoughts. What could you have possibly done in the last few days to make things less frigid between you?

Maybe Natasha had been right this whole time; Steve never really hated you.

“When is the last time you ate something healthy?”

You wanted to roll your eyes at the Alpha’s question, but you couldn’t help the smile that split your face in two, “Not sure. Sometimes I can convince Clint to get a supreme pizza, and I get Beef and Broccoli when we all order Chinese.”

Steve turned back to look at you, lips pressed into a thin line looking thoroughly unimpressed despite the humor dancing in his eyes.

“Not exactly what I meant, Y/n.”

“They are never going to figure this out,” Bucky griped from his spot on the couch, glancing down at the red-head who had her legs thrown over his lap and was purring sweetly every time Bucky ran his fingers over the exposed skin below her shorts.

“I tried to talk sense into him, but he’s not listening,” Tony added as he watched the two of you dance around each other in the kitchen. “Not that anyone is surprised by that.”

“Tasha,” Bucky kissed the back of her hand softly, “Omega, I think you and I need to nudge them a bit, ya?” Natasha smirked and returned a kiss to her Alpha’s cheek.

“Sweet that you want to help. I don’t think our meddling will do anything to help, but we could try, I suppose.” 

She climbed off the couch and sauntered towards the kitchen, gracefully sliding onto the stool next to you. She stayed quiet as she watched you subtly court each other, neither discerning what the other was doing.  Steve set your plate down, and there were several pieces of sliced apple occupying the space next to your deliciously buttery grilled cheese. Your nose crinkled at the sight of the addition to your meal, making the Alpha chuckle.

“Things between the two of you seem less… frosty,” Nat whispered, watching Steve wash the frying pan he used to make your lunch.

You shrugged as you pushed your food around your plate, the food that Steve made for you, “I guess. He’s not so bad. He might even be a little funny, and maybe he doesn’t hate me like I thought.”

“Who would have guessed? I’ve been telling you that for months,”  Natasha was quick to remind you.

You glanced up, catching Steve’s eye for a fleeting moment and quickly dropped your eyes back to your plate, just in time to miss the amused smile tugging at his lips.

---------------------

Lunch with Steve had become a regular thing.

So did the fresh pink roses in your room. They appeared every few days, and you couldn’t help but grin when you saw them. Somehow Steve was always around when you wanted lunch. You would find your way to the kitchen where Steve would be waiting on you,  and he would fix you both something to eat while you talked. Sometimes the conversation flowed, and other times it was awkward and stilted. You were just starting to get to know each other under these new terms, so some problematic conversation was expected. There were times you felt like Steve was holding something back, and couldn’t put your finger on what it was. Uncomfortable tension or not, he never stopped trying to get you to eat something that resembled healthy food.

Usually, it would bother you to have an Alpha waiting on you like that, but the pleased scent rolling off Steve made it not so bad.

It had been a week since you’ve had lunch with Steve, and there were no roses mysteriously placed in your room. A full seven days without seeing that dopey smile, he got on his face when you walked into the kitchen, and it was starting to weigh heavily on you. You snapped at Natasha one too many times, and she had finally had enough. She told you to get dressed and meet her in the gym. You assumed she wanted to help you work out your aggression. But you wouldn’t put it past Natasha if she was planning on kicking your ass for snapping at her.

By the time you made it down to the gym, you were still unsure which to expect.

Probably the ass-kicking.

You took two steps into the gym and froze at the soft notes of amber that hit your nose. You looked around the nearly empty room and paused when your eyes landed on Steve, shirtless and pounding away at the heavy bags Tony designed to withstand a super soldier or two. You didn’t know he was back, but maybe Steve wanted it that way. You attempted to quietly tiptoe out of the gym without Steve noticing you, but you smacked into the wall behind dropping your metal water bottle to the floor with a resounding clang.

Steve slowly turned around, letting the bag still on its own and smiled at the sight of you. Not that Steve didn’t know it was you standing behind him before he laid eyes on you. He’s mesmerized your scent, and even through your blockers, he can still catch notes of rose and vanilla hanging in the air of every floor of the compound; he loved it and hated it.

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were in here or even back home. I was looking for Nat. She said to meet her here to train for a bit, but I’m guessing she’s not here since you’re in here. Not that you being here is the reason she’s not in here! I just meant I didn’t see her, and I am guessing you wouldn’t be working out with a shirt on if someone was in here with you.”

Steve glanced down and his bare chest chuckling as you continued to ramble, “Or maybe you would. I don’t know what you do. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and you can wear whatever you want to work out. Although, I guess not whatever you want. Probably should wear pants. Not that I’m thinking about you without your pants!”

You closed your eyes, hoping one or both of you would disappear so you wouldn’t have to face him after that embarrassing attempt at socializing. The only bright side to the moment, Tony wasn’t around to witness this disaster and use it tease you for the rest of your life.

“I could help you train. Since Nat seems to be missing in action, but only if you want.”

You opened your eyes, and sure enough, there he was. Steve was still standing there looking thoroughly cute and offering to help you after you made a total fool of yourself. You pulled your lips between your teeth, gnawing nervously as you watched him for a moment. There was no way you could train when he looked like that. His charming smile was enough to distract you but add in the chiseled abs? No way you would survive.

“Okay, but you have to put a shirt on,” You motioned to his bare chest. “I can’t focus around you, to begin with, and that’s all very distracting.”

Steve preened and grabbed the shirt he had tossed to the floor a few hours ago. He gave up on the shirt once he started punching; Bucky had irritated him more than he realized it seemed. A moment of worry flashed through his head. Maybe he was right all along. You didn’t see the man he was under all... this. Steve pulled the dark grey shirt over his head and brushed his hair out of his eyes, meeting yours, and he knew he was acting foolish.

God help him, Tony was right.

“Better?”

The dumb shirt that you insisted Steve put on was slightly wet and clinging to his well-defined chest. No, it was not better. In fact, adding more clothes was somehow worse? It made him look like sweet, caring Alpha you meet every day around lunchtime, and the soft look in his eyes had you forgetting all about what was under that incredibly thin shirt. How were you supposed to focus when he was looking at you like that?

“I guess,” you squeaked.

He grinned, “Ready, agent?”

“What are you guys looking at?” Sam peeked his head over their shoulders, staring at the bright blue live feed of the gym. “Since when are Steve and Y/n training together?”

“I can’t believe it’s finally happening,” Natasha mumbled. “I never thought they would come together on their own.”

“I guess we should have locked them in the gym months ago,” Tony snickered.

“What’s happening? Man, What are you three going on about?”

Bucky draped his arm over Natasha’s shoulder and pulled her towards their bedroom, leaving Sam confused and staring at the floating screen before him.

“Nothing, Sammy. I’ll tell you about it when you’re older.”

“When I’m older?” Sam shouted after the dark-haired Alpha. “Buck, I swear-- get back here so I can beat your ass old man!”

Steve, had you secured to the floor under him and smirked at how easily you were distracted by a few sweet words, “Thought you’ve been training with Natasha for a few months now? That’s all you got?”

You growled, and the scent of a pleased Alpha filled the gym, making your heart flutter. You quickly shook it off and batted your lashes, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth. Steve’s brows shot up, and you slowly lifted your head towards his. He went completely still as the grip on your hands loosened, and his focus was lost somewhere in your pretty lips and intoxicating scent.

Within seconds you had your legs wrapped around his tiny waist and had him flipped and pinned under you before he had a chance to react. You grinned down the Alpha, hands pressed firmly against this chest.

“Don’t you train with Bucky? Is that all you got, Cap?” you taunted back.

Steve grinned.

You’ve never seen him grin at you like that. He slowly sat up, not even phased by the so-called hold you had on his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around your waist and secured you in his lap, leaving you nose to nose and breathless from the thick scent of cedarwood surrounding you.

“What would everyone say if they knew Captain American could be brought down by an Omega batting her lashes at you?”

Steve chuckled, but his eyes were earnest as he corrected you, “Not Captain American, Just Steve and not any Omega. Only you.”

Your fingers slipped into his hair, attempting to still their tremble and steady the frantic beats of your heart.

“Only me?” you whispered.

Steve hummed in response and tightened his hold on your waist.

“I think I like that. I prefer ‘just Steve’ anyway.” Steve’s smile faltered for a second and then spread into a wide grin. He’s been an idiot not to see what was right in front of him all this time. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was back I was trying to find the right way to tell -- Buck was a pain the entire mission. I needed a minute to cool down before I came to find you.”

“You wanted to find me?” You asked brows pinched at the thought.

“I’ve wanted to ask you something since we first met, but I wasn’t sure I should...” The confident Alpha seemed to fade away, and when he spoke, his voice stuttered with uncertainty, “Do you-- would you want to get lunch? With me, I mean. Outside of the compound. Away from all the other--”

“Alphas?”

Steve growled and pulled you closer to him, a gentle, teasing smile playing on his lips. You smirked and slowly wiggled yourself free of his arms, much to Steve’s dismay, and sauntered towards the door. Stopping to grab the water bottle you dropped by the entrance, you peered over your shoulder where you left Steve. 

“I can be ready in twenty. Meet you outside?”

“Now?!”

“Better hop to, soldier,” you purred softly.

In all the time you’ve known Steve, you’ve never seen him move that fast before.

[jay-and-dean]

I don’t need you  Chapter 5 : Home

Dean x reader

Summary : She’s a warrior, she’s a loner. Nothing can stop her, nothing ever had. She doesn’t need Dean, does she ?

This is a request by @magssteenkamp​ that I decided to turn to a serie, see the original request on the serie Masterlist.

Serie Warnings : Swearing (duh). Mention of death. Smut, probably all kind from rough to fluffy, I’ll precise in the chapters if there are specific warnings. Fluff. Angst of course.

Chapter warnings :  Swearing. SMUT, unprotected sex (you are smarter than this !) and I don’t know... a hint of angst and fluff ?

Words : 3.4 k (Yeah, I know... but smut...)

Note : I’ll try to stick to the 3k rule, like for Rescue You

If everything goes as planned, you’ll get one chapter every wednesday (Thanks to @magssteenkamp, I call it WednesJay, lol. Sorry okay, I shut up).

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

*** I don’t need you MASTERLIST***

_________________________________

5.      HOME

 Dean’s Pov

             She doesn’t say a word.

           Her pale face turned toward the car window, I can see how bad she’s trying to stay strong. If only she knew she doesn’t have too. I will never think she’s not, this woman is among the toughest person I have met, and nothing will change how I see her.

“Y/n…” I say cautiously, my hands tight around the wheel. “Can you tell me what happened ?”

She turns to me, her tired eyes piercing me, she clears her throat and takes a deep breath.

“I… woke up surrounded in flames. They found me, they found my address, my work… And they decided the war wasn’t over” her voice is calm but her body is tense. “I passed out after…” she stops, looking down.

“Yeah…” I just say to encourage her. “I’m glad you woke up in time.”

“They don’t have magic fire so the flames were eating the entire building, people will lose their home, or be hurt or worse…” she turns to stare absent-mindedly at the road. “Then I thought… If they found my apartment, they found my identity, so I ran to the bar and it… They locked the doors from outside and set it on fire. Joe was working this night, Lina too… Because of me, the main hunter shelter of center city burned, with the hunters in it.”

“It’s not your fault” I state, knowing this won’t reach her heart ; I heard that a thousand times myself, and never believed it.

“And the cops, they will make the link” she continues, ignoring my words. “I’m used to hide, but not both from monsters and the authorities.”

“They won’t find you, I’ll make sure of that.”

           She doesn’t answer but her stomach gurgles loudly.

“When was the last time you ate ?”

“I don’t know… Two days ago or something like that” she opens her hand to stare intensely at her palm. “I didn’t call you right away… I wanted to get through this myself but…”

“Hey Y/n, you can’t do this alone, no matter how… well badass you are. You need a team. I am your team now… We are. And you need to eat.”

“I have nothing left, Dean, not a cent, not a toothbrush, and all my work is gone” she sighs.

“I have fake credit cards and a home I don’t have to pay. Sweetheart, let me share.”

             I turn right, to that mall big ads praise for a few miles now, trying to make believe you could find everything that could built your happiness here.

In our case, maybe that’s actually true.

While she gets out of the car, her hands around herself, looking to the entrance in a frown, I grab my bag on the backseat, and find the green jacket I was looking for.

“Here” I state, giving it to her.

She hesitates but takes it in a sigh after a look to her corset, and the goosebumps on her skin.

“Thank you, Dean…”

I smile.

I know it’s a pretty awful time to smile but I can’t help it, being able to take care of her just makes me happy somehow.

           This place is huge, colorful, noisy, and I’m pretty sure she hates it as much as I do. But we need a few items.

“Take this” I say, handing her one of my fake credit cards. “First we eat something, then we go buy the things you need to stay with us a few days or weeks” I state, not giving her any choice to decline my offer.

           She just nods, biting her lips. She’s not used to ask for help, and I can see how uncomfortable that makes her, so I try to act as casual as I can, even with my heart pounding in my chest because of that pain I feel for her… and that persistent desire.

           In the little diner inside the mall, a loud group of teen and a tired waitress. Y/n’s steps are unsure, and I can only imagine how exhausted she is.

           The waitress doesn’t even look at us when she approaches, and Y/n doesn’t look up, her eyes on the table, a hint of shame in her eyes, something I hate deeply.

“I’ll take a bacon cheese burger and a coffee please” I say, hoping she would know what she wants, but of course, she mutters something about only a coffee. “Two bacon cheese burgers, please.”

She lifts her eyes on me and sighs.

“I’m not eating alone” I shrug.

           She eats pretty slowly, and by the time she reaches the pickles in the middle of it, I’m done with mine. I try not to stare at her but everything she does, every move, is fascinating to me. She licks her fingers, she’s not doing it on purpose, cautiously trying to eat cleanly… and it’s even better.

           Eating gave her a little strength. I’m sitting on the chair of the store, waiting for her to choose a few panties, jeans, maybe a t-shirt or two. I can see she only picks necessary things even though I repeated her several time that it was not, technically, my money.

           Going through my phone, I read the articles about the fire, but nothing is more detailed than what she said for now. They don’t seem to have made the link to her yet, or at least, the media don’t know.

“I’m done” she appears in front of me, a bag hanging in the end of her arm, my jacket too big for her, hiding her hands, the shoulders seams falling too low on her arms.

“Do you need anything else ?” I ask, getting up.

“I guess you have soap at home, considering you don’t stink too much” she gives me a corner smile and it warms my heart.

             She’s fighting sleep. I try all I can to make her feel comfortable, but she is still fighting, her eyes struggling to focus on the road.

“You can sleep” I state, my voice hoarse for saying nothing for a long time.

“I know” she smiles kindly.

“Do you want to stop for a few hours ? I could use a little rest too you know.”

She turns to me and frowns.

“You drove seven hours in a row, and you’re driving back… You must be exhausted” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay sweetheart” I chuckle at her concern. “There must not be a lot of motels around here, but I’ll find one.”

She looks down and smiles, nodding for herself.

“What ?” I ask, intrigued.

“It’s stupid” she tries to sweep my question away but my whole face insists, so she surrenders. “When I was… When I had no home, I used to dream that you would… show up, and that I could share a motel with you” her smile fades and I swallow. “Because it was so much better than the street…”

“I’m sorry I never showed up before” I state very seriously but she starts to chuckle to make that moment fade.

“I actually never went to one, it will be a first” she smiles now, her mask back in place.

             She puts the store bag on the bed and looks around.

“I’m officially a Supernatural character.”

I smile, entering behind her.

“I’ll take the other room” I say looking in my hand for the right key. “I’ll go buy food, you take a good shower…”

When I’m about to go out, she stops me.

“Dean ?” I turn around, instantly high on her voice saying my name. “Can you lend me a knife or a gun while you’re gone ?”

 Reader’s Pov

             I sit on the bed, trying to take in everything that’s happening, staring at the ugly decoration, waiting for him in my brand new sweatpants. I never wore this kind of pants before, but I never lived with someone, so I figured I couldn’t sleep in my underwear as I usually do.

           The shower really helped, and now I use Dean’s shower gel, it seems that the entire room smells like him. I look at the green jacket and take it in my hands, playing with its collar while I list the events in my head. Playing the scenes over and over, like it could give them a sense.

           My phone rings, and I look at it, plugged on the nightstand. It’s a number I don’t know so I just stare at the screen, not making a move.

“Did you know” Dean says, suddenly entering the room with a white plastic bag in his arms. “That this shithole doesn’t even have a store ! Only a Gas station !”

My eyes follow him, amazed by this way he has to move, so Dean, like it was described in the books. I get up, tugging at my brand new black t-shirt, to help him with whatever he found.

“So on tonight’s menu, Madame… Coke, chips” he gets everything out of the bag naming them one by one. “Twinkies… this thing, whatever it is, Cheetos, M&Ms… and that.”

“Yummy” I chuckle, frowning at the packs in front of me.

“You need to sleep” he states. “I’ll be in my room.”

“No” my voice is a little too enthusiastic. “Maybe we could eat together before you go to sleep…”

He smiles.

           This is a simple smile, but it makes my heart miss a beat because of how pure it is. His wrinkles highlighting it with the charm of his age, wearing every adventures he lived like crowns of bravery.

           He’s not the young impetuous wolf he was in those books anymore, he grew in the best way possible : nobly.

           And still the afraid little girl inside is exited to meet her superhero, because he really is exactly that.

           I can’t let myself be blinded by that smile… Life doesn’t work like that.

“I swear this stupid town, not even beers ? Come one !” he grunts, putting all the packs on the bed, before sitting on it. “Can’t wait to be home.”

I sit next to him, enjoying the sight of his large, manly hands grabbing those tiny M&Ms to stuff his mouth with it.

“Tell me about your home” I say, crossing my legs.

He turns to me, a serious look on his face, searching for his words.

“It’s my very first home…”

“Yeah” I nod, remembering the books I read a hundred times.

“It’s huge” another, tinier, smile. “And it’s legacy…”

           While he explains how he got the key to that bunker, I nibble on the little balls of chocolate, trying to keep my mind off the deaths I caused, and fighting the urge to yawn, because I really don’t want him to think he has to leave right now. I’m exhausted, but I desperately want him to stay.

           His story is fascinating, and for me, it is a fairy tale. Discovering you own a place like this, after a life of roaming… It was the best my brave hero could get after the end of the books. I spent my life trying to build a home for myself but maybe I just don’t deserve one.

           Like I don’t deserve that friendship Dean is offering me so naturally, his whole tall body spread in the bed so casually, as if we had been close for years. His long legs crossed, heavy shoes on the mattress, his elbow holding him up, turned toward me, bathing me in those legends that belong to him with such a simple trust.

           Flashes of my phone call to him fight to come back, and the more I try to chase them, the more I remember my body craving, clenching around my own fingers in frustration.

           And it’s already too late.

           I’m suddenly too aware of his arms muscles flexing to grab the chips, of the leather belt at his waist, resting on the little piece of skin showing there, of the perfect line of his jaw and his delicious smell.

           There is something about Dean Winchester. Something that has nothing to do with this deep respect I have for him, with the fascination I feel for a hunter so legendary, with that trust I could give him way too soon and the one he is offering me without any question…

           It is something physical that I never thought I would feel. Sex, for me, was always a way… A way to pass time, not be alone, let go some stress, forget, or even manipulate –even if I’m not proud of this one-. It was never a need.

           Dean makes me want, that’s annoying enough. But the bastard makes me need.

           I have to get rid of that, before my brain mixes it with this stupid hero myth it created, and start confusing want with feelings. I really don’t need feelings…

           I put the M&Ms down and lick my lips.

Get rid of that need.

Take what I want and make him fall from his pedestal.

“Dean…” I cut him in the middle of the British Men of Letters story, and he looks up at me while I sit up.

If he doesn’t want that, he’ll make a sign or say a word, but I heard he’s still pretty fond of one night stands.

           In a deep sigh, I loose no time, and get closer to straddle his lap, the simple gesture of spreading my thighs above him, without any contact, starting a fire inside me.

“Y/n…” he groans low, his pupils dilating right away and his face changing radically, from a friendly puppy to a wolf in a split second.

           His hands firmly grab my waist, the pure strength irradiating of him already making me drip in anticipation.

           I bend and, for a second, I see he’s ready to kiss me. But I won’t kiss him. I won’t indulge in giving him this tender gesture, something that might let him think this is anything more than sex.

Kisses are too important.

My lips find his neck instead, and I sensually roll my body on his while they start to suck at it.

“Y/n” he lets his head fall on the pillow and lifts his hips a little, pressing his crotch between my legs in a help back moan.

“That phone call left me craving for the real thing” I murmur in his ear.

“Me too…” he groans, his fingers digging in my thighs harshly. “You have no idea…”

           I finally sit on him, fully enjoying the hard feeling of his too full jeans on my folds, starting to rub through the fabric, desperate to finally feel in there.

“Fuck, don’t tease me” his voice is hoarse, veins showing on his neck that I want to kiss.

           But kiss is too important.

           So my hands find his belt, and while I open it, I stare at his mouth, agape and plumb, and at his chest going up and down.

           The second the belt and the button of his jeans are open, he lifts his hips to wriggle and push it down with his underwear, just enough to free his cock.

           I want to kiss it too… And its veins are calling me like the veins on the side of his throat. But instead, I wrap my hand around the velvety skin and lick my lips, guiding it to my still covered entrance, just to tease both of us, his precum joining the wet stain between my legs.

“The real thing, Sweetheart” he grunts, unable to keep himself from pushing up in my hand and against me.

           When I move again, it’s only to take my sweatpants and panties off, immediately straddling him again.

“Fuck yes” he moans, his piercing eyes between my legs, and his lip between his teeth.

I’m high.

A drop of my own juice falls on the head of his cock heavily, and I know I’m already panting but I don’t really care.

           Taking his length in my hand, I lift my hips, starving for him, and push the head to my entrance.

“Shit” I gasp, feeling my body resist just a little before it swallows the first part of him hungrily.

“Oh God, Y/n…” he cries out, short nails digging in my sweating thighs.

           It only takes me a few seconds to welcome him entirely, stretching myself faster than usual because of how wet and eager I am. And when I do, I don’t lose a second.

           Placing my two hands flat on his chest, I start rolling my hips, grinding, and finally bouncing up and down in haste, unable to get enough of the feeling of him so deep inside of me, twitching hard and stretching me with no mercy.

“Sweetheart, easy…” he pants. “Or I won’t l-last long.”

But I’m too far gone, and I want him to come so bad.

In my high, I start needing things I never thought I needed : I want him to let the wolf out, to push me down on that mattress and take everything, to force a kiss on my mouth, to make my defenses shatter…

“Fuck… Dean !” I moan loud, my stretched out arms still keeping me from being too close to that temptation that could break me, too close to that dangerous man.

“Yes… Yes… Fuck…” he praises, now closing his eyes tight, his daring huge hands going under my shirt to hold my waist, his thumb digging in my ribs.

           And, surprising him totally, I come first ; hard and brutally in a desperate groan.

“OH MY… F-F-FUCK” he cries out, feeling my walls strongly clenching around him and my restless thighs crushing his hips.

Grabbing me fiercely by the neck, he makes my lips crush on his, almost making us break some teeth, while he empties himself deep inside of me, not really kissing me, but panting and biting my lips and moaning with his jaw clenched.

           This is the hottest thing that even happened to me, and my orgasm becomes so long I’m afraid I might pass out… My face now buried in his neck, I hold on to his shoulders.

             Then nothing. Silence and heavy breathing ; his hand lazily stroking my back slower and slower.

           I wait a minute before I grab his softening cock to take it out in a hiss… and a few more minutes before I dare looking up.

           He is asleep.

           I smile for myself, adoringly admiring his face, and take a deep breath.

You had it. It’s over now.

           I get up slowly, and grab my pants, along with the key to the other room, looking one last time to him.

I really hope it’s over now.

             He didn’t say a word when he came to my room to wake me ; and he didn’t say a word in the car during the four hours drive left to reach the bunker. He gave me the rest of the snacks from yesterday with a smile, a coffee in a plastic cup, and put some music on…

             By the time he enters the garage, my heart is beating fast. I’m nervous for so many reasons, overthinking everything.

Hoping it wouldn’t damage our young friendship. Hoping I won’t feel like I felt in the shelters I tried a long time ago. That I won’t be a burden, that I will have my freedom, that I will find the vampires that killed the closest I had to friends, that I will win this war…

           When I enter the bunker for the first time, my breath gets stuck in my chest, and my eyes can’t take everything.

This place is a palace, and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

           And when Dean kindly offers me a visit, I understand the true value of it, and I have to hold back my tears :

It is not its size or its warmth that makes it a true home. It’s the perfect details that are witnesses of the life going on here.

It’s the glass that someone forgot on the table, the phone charger lazily dangling from the wall, the smell of coffee in the kitchen, the flannel on the chair of the bathroom, the toothbrush stain in the sink, Sam’s smell coming out of his bedroom, the post-it that says “Jody bday Friday”, the initials carved on the library’s table, the pie in the fridge…

And Dean’s voice. Dean’s voice calling me to show me the control room.

His voice so new to me, and yet so familiar.

That’s what makes it a home.

And I wish I was legacy, that it could be my home too…

________________________

***FEEDBACK IS GOLD***

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[aaronhart93]

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @davieslandon​​

When: early morning March 22, 2020

Mentions: @jayceelynd​

Description: Landon tells Aaron that he is going to have another baby with Jaycee

Trigger Warnings: pregnancy

LANDON

Landon wasn’t sure who he was the most nervous to tell about Jaycee’s pregnancy, Aaron or Roman. He knew how protective his best friend could be of Jaycee so Landon couldn’t he sure of his reaction over an accidental pregnancy. Now that Elle knew she was about to be a big sister, he knew it was only a matter of time until she told Des and once Des knew...well, Aaron was bound to find out as well. Landon wanted the news to come directly from him so inviting him over for lunch seemed like a good place to start. He went for an easy plate of pasta and was plating everything when he heard Aaron letting himself in. “Hey”, he said, glancing up as soon as the other walked in. “I know it’s a bit short notice but...there’s something I really need to tell you.” 

Aaron.

When Landon had told Aaron that he needed to tell him something in person, Aaron was less than thrilled. Whenever Aaron needed to tell someone something in person, that typically meant that it was bad news. Did he decide that he really didn’t want to be friends with him anymore? Aaron had figured that things between the best friends had been going pretty well after his accident and that things were getting back to normal between them. Maybe he was picking up the wrong vibes and maybe Landon still hated him for what he’d done. Needless to say, Aaron was nervous and he’d had a drink or two in his office before coming over to Landon’s. Just to loosen up a bit. The businessman made his way over to the familiar apartment and walked in to the smell of some delicious food. Something that Landon had definitely made for Aaron before when they’d been helping each other out with the girls as men in their early 20s. That seemed like a whole lifetime ago now. “Hey, man.” He walked in and help himself another drink when Landon told him that he needed to tell him something. He leaned against the counter and took a big sip of the beer he’d gotten from the fridge. “Okay...” he prompted. 

LANDON

Landon wasn't sure how the best way to go about this was. Roman had taken the news pretty well, all things considered, but that didn't mean that Aaron would as well. He briefly considered telling his best friend after they finished with their lunch but he knew Aaron must be wondering about what was going on and he would just be postponing the inevitable. So he placed the plate of pasta in front of his friend and sat down. Anyone with eyes would be able to tell he was nervous but it wasn't every day he had to announce that he was about to become a dad...again. "So...Jaycee and I kind of hooked up on the night of the holiday party," Starting out with the basics was probably a good idea. "Well, it turns out she's pregnant and...it's mine."

Aaron.

Aaron sat down across from the other male, and honestly practically drooled when he looked down at the plate of paste. If Landon was buttering Aaron up for something, he sure knew exactly how to do it. The businessman dug in almost immediately. He didn't have much regard to niceties in front of his best friend - he'd seen him at his very worst after all. He only practiced good table manners in front of his daughter and new company. This was Landon and he was very comfortable around him. What Landon had side next made Aaron nearly choke on the penne. He took a deep breathe and focused on chewing and swallowing his pasta before processing what Landon had just told him. Landon was going to be a dad...again...with Jaycee as a co-parent. Jaycee. His two best friends were having a baby...together. "Hold on...you fucked Jay?" 

LANDON

Landon should have probably waited for his friend to finish swallowing his mouthful of penne before blurting out the news but he couldn't help himself. It was the way he worked; overthink everything and finally blurting it all out like ripping off a bandaid. If the situation wasn't as serious, he would laugh at the sight of Aaron almost choking over pasta but he was too nervous over his reaction to really think about that. At Aaron's question, he felt his face turn bright red and trying to come up with the best way to explain the situation he found himself in. It was just his luck that only a few weeks after admitting what everyone apparently already knew and coming out as gay, Jaycee found out she was pregnant. "It's...a funny story." It wasn't really but what else could he say? "The night of the holiday party there was that snowstorm that trapped everyone indoors. I was with Jaycee, we were both a little drunk and one thing led to another....now here we are." Landon wasn't sure if he should mention that it wasn't the first time but since he was being honest, he might as well go all the way. "It wasn't the first time we hooked up either." 

Aaron.

Now that Landon had said it, Aaron did remember hearing that they had hooked up before. It wasn't a huge deal - Aaron hooked up with his friends all the time. And so did Jaycee and Landon. It was just...shit. It was a lot to take in. Aaron did remember that night, and he did vaguely remember seeing Jay and Landon leave together. These were his two best friends. And they were going to be co parents. He looked down at the table silently for a few moments, letting himself process what he had just heard and trying to figure out exactly how he felt about it. This was Aaron Hart - he had a tendency to take things completely out of hand and get mad about things he shouldn't really get mad about. He could understand why Landon was hesitant to tell him. After another beat, Aaron smiled and looked across the table at the other father. "Well shit, man. That's amazing! Elle is going to be a big sister. Have you told her yet?" He exclaimed, his eyes wide with happiness for his best friend. 

LANDON

Landon could count on one hand the number of times Aaron was so silent around him and that wasn't a very good sign. He might pick on his best friend a lot but he also knew that the businessman was very protective of the people he cared about. While Landon knew he was part of that list, Jaycee was also included. It's not like he couldn't understand why Aaron might get upset over an accidental pregnancy, even though it was very obvious that Landon was going to stick around. The silence was almost worse than anger and Landon was stuck watching with bated breath as his best friend looked at his plate of food like he was contemplating something very interesting. Landon was about to say something himself when Aaron looked up with a smile and he could feel relief course through him. "Jesus Christ you scared the shit out of me mate", he said, feeling his tense body finally relax slightly. "Yeah, she was one of the first people I told so obviously I had to tell you next before you found out from Des." 

Aaron.

Aaron managed to laugh, just now realizing how intimidating that could have been. Aaron was not known for his patience, that's for sure. But of course he was happy for Landon. He knew how much Landon loved being a father, and how good of a father he was too. He knew that his best friend was going to do an amazing job with this one too. Aaron was looking forward to having another baby around too. He was such a sucker for those tiny finger and tiny toes. "Sorry sorry..." He told him, shaking his head slightly then continuing to eat the yummy food that Landon had made him. "Oh yeah, I'm sure Elle is going to slip that news as soon as they see each other at school tomorrow. Des will probably also insist that she's getting a new sibling. Or cousin at the very least." He laughed. "That was the news you got me all buttered up for? Damn, I'm more of a hard ass than I thought. Are people just nice to me because they're scared of me?" He joked. 

LANDON

With the way their two girls were together, Landon wouldn’t be surprised at all if Des ended up referring to the baby as her other sibling. They were just that close and Aaron and Landon probably didn’t help matters with how often they went to each other’s places or organized sleep overs for the two. Add to that the fact that he was having the baby with Jaycee and there was no way the poor thing wasn’t going to end up with two overprotective older sisters. Landon rolled his eyes at his best friend’s comment but didn’t deny it. It was true after all, the lunch was his attempt at getting Aaron in a good enough mood that he wouldn’t be upset about the news. And technically it worked. “Sure you are. You’re an ass alright”, he laughed, shaking his head. 

Aaron.

Now that the air was cleared, Aaron found himself being able to relax and smile. He had so many questions for the older male. He thought about how different this was this time around. How when they found out that they were going to be dad's the first time around...how terrified they were. But they had each other, and that certainly wasn't going to change this time around either. "So when is she due? Do you know what you're having yet?" He asked, almost a bit too excitedly. Like he was having a kid himself. In a way he was though...at least it felt like he was getting a new addition to his family. 

LANDON

This was completely different than the time his sister was expecting Elle. Back then he had more time to prepare and more of a choice about what happened or not, but he was still terrified. He was still so young back then and still felt like he could barely take care of himself let alone a tiny baby. So Jaycee’s pregnancy was completely unexpected and sudden but Landon still felt more prepared. He was older, hopefully more mature and more financially stable. “She’s due in April but with how these things go you never really know”, he said, finally allowing himself to smile widely now that he knew Aaron was okay with it. “And yeah, we know.” It was actually one of the first things he found out after Jaycee told him she was pregnant. “We’re having a boy.” 

Aaron.

April. That seemed like it was so soon. They would have to do a lot of preparation in that time...Yes, Aaron was talking like he would have to do the prep work too. This was his little extended family and he was going to treat it as such. "I can't believe I'm going to have a nephew." He grinned. "And you're going to have a son...of course." Aaron always secretly wanted a boy. Of course he loved Des more than ever and she was such a daddy's girl, but when he found out that he was going to be a father he really hoped for a boy. Of course he soon realized that he could do everything with Des that he would with a son, but that didn't stop him from maybe wanting another one someday. A boy this time. "I know I don't need to say this, but whatever you need....you ask me and it's yours." He assured his best friend. 

LANDON

It was still surreal to him and he’d known for a bit now so he couldn’t even imagine what was going through Aaron’s head. The fact that his best friend was taking it all in stride already, so soon after finding out, meant the world to him. “I know...if someone told me at the start of the year that I would be having a son I would have laughed”, he shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I always knew that I would have more children someday but I never imagined it would be so soon. I don’t regret it though, even though it wasn’t planned or expected...is that weird?” Landon didn’t need the businessman to tell him that he would be there for him as he’s more than showed him that throughout the years but it was still good to hear. “I know, thanks mate.” 

Aaron.

The millionaire wasn't sure if he was actually jealous or if he was just getting a really bad case of baby fever. Now he couldn't keep himself from thinking about having another child. Maybe it was because he very best friend was going to have one, and it was something they had done it before. Aaron almost felt weird that he and Landon weren't doing this together again. Aaron nearly furrowed his brow because, no, that wasn't weird at all. "You kidding, bro? No, that's not weird at all. If I someone ended up with a kid tomorrow, I wouldn't be upset. I would be really damn excited actually." He confessed with a laugh. 

LANDON

Landon wasn’t expecting Aaron to say that but he chalked it up to him being happy over the upcoming baby and getting to be an uncle again, although he did make a mental note to bring it up again later. They both loved their daughters to pieces and this was obvious to anyone with eyes but Landon didn’t think another kid was something Aaron was interested in, or at least not right now. Then again, he would have said the same a few months ago and look where that got him. “Hopefully, when it happens to you it’ll be a bit more planned out and you won’t be caught so off guard”, he joked. 

Aaron.

When Aaron had initially found out that he was going to be a dad, he really thought that his life was completely over. But what he had her, he soon realized that his life was really just starting. He knew now that he wasn't dating a woman, that having another kid would be something completely planned out...but even if he woke up to the news that he was some how having another kid again tomorrow, he would be absolutely ecstatic. "How do you think your mom is going to react?" He asked his best friend. 

LANDON

Landon always thought that his second child would be planned, more so after he came out as gay. It was kind of hard for a surprise pregnancy if he was dating and holding up with men. What he didn’t consider was the last time he hooked up with a girl and now here he was. Not that he was complaining. Landon meant what he said to Jaycee, no child of his could ever be a mistake. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up getting the safe sex talk again”, he rolled his eyes. “But she’ll be happy in the end. Or at least I hope so.” 

[unmanageable-day]

16. Between a friend and another friend

When you are friends for so long, and it has never come across your mind to date one of them. Until one particular guy friend of yours came to offer you a relationship, a new chapter of life like no other before.

prev | next

Taeyong wished he could skip the dinner invitation from Yuta who specially arranged it for you and Doyoung. He didn't have to come though. But you had personally texted him in the morning, asking—making sure that he would be there. Now he felt obliged to come. Despite the fact he had talked with you and Doyoung, basically suggesting he was now (still trying to be) cool with your relationship, how he wished there is a pain killer for his longtime broken heart.

There you were, approaching the group with a big smile. Doyoung walked behind you. On the contrary, he looked tense but he tried to give his best smile. This dinner was held to celebrate you and him after all. Maybe he was just nervous to meet Taeyong again.

Somehow you just made the way to sit beside Taeyong. Doyoung had no choice but to follow you. He would never choose to sit across you to have better sight of you and Taeyong.

Taeyong felt it again. That happiness, warmth, and the comfort whenever you were around, yet pain wouldn't leave him. He must know his boundaries. And he must witness all your interaction with the dearie fiancee. Although, little did he know, Doyoung felt the more or less similar.

Trying his best to shrug off all the bothering feelings, Taeyong would just respond at the bare minimum to everything you said. Yet he effortlessly earned your attention, making him like the center of your world no matter the least words coming out of his mouth.

He lost it.

The initial intention was not to get too close to you. Instead, you were the one who kept approaching him, merely thinking because things were cool and you could have your bestfriend back. Taeyong found himself unable to reject your friendly gestures. He kept coming back at you, like he used to be, with random stories about his niece and nephew, a new dog he was going to adopt, the never-ending battle in games with Jaehyun, and how he wanted to re-decorate his closet. Just like the old days, you would actively respond with enthusiast. The little giggles you let out whem he told you silly stuff of how clumsy he was. Oh, how he had been longing to hear that.

Taking things even further, he also kept making sure you have something on your plate. He knew you were not into seafood dish, beside that you were allergic to some of it. He forgot to tell Yuta to not pick a seafood restaurant. He knew you can't eat spicy food too much, that was why he would always have a taste before giving something to you. He would do all of this unconsciously and he couldn't stop himself. Even after realizing that Doyoung seemed bothered.

Doyoung was mostly paying his attention to the youngsters. Or more like diverting his attention so he didn't have to look whatever Taeyong did for you.

"Doyoung, try this." You had nacho chips with tomato salsa in your hand, ready to feed him. He took a quick glance at Taeyong, who was not looking at you. He accepted the nacho with a shy smile yet he felt a little victory.

"Yummy, right? I think I can eat this my whole life. It looks like it's easy to make too," you commented as you took another bite.

"Don't. Let's just go here if you want to eat this. You'll leave crumbles all over the place at home." Soon he exposed you how he had to do the cleaning after you cooked—more like experimenting a new dish you never did—and ate the food in the living room. Non-stop complains and nagging kept coming out of his mouth.

Taeyong's ears sting at the word home, which followed by the stories he didn't want to hear about your new life. Doyoung's voice sounded like murmurs as sharp as knife piercing both his ears and heart. He instantly lost focus and stayed quiet, while your friends were laughing and chattering. He couldn't even smile when the youngsters were teasing Doyoung.

"Oh, what to do.. Our Joo-ey noona has to spend her entire life with Hyung's nagging," Donghyuk said dramatically.

"Since we live closer now, Noona can visit us easily anytime. Especially when Noona is fed up with Hyung," Jaemin added. "We will send Jeno there and we are very happy to exchange Jeno for you."

"Jaemin, not you too!" Doyoung hissed.

"Be ready to pick up my call everyday, guys," you replied their jokes. "Ah, right. Since I live nearby, it would be easier for me to get a ride home. Johnny, Jaehyun, my office is the closest with you guys." You wiggled your eyebrows at the giant guys.

"What, why? I will pick you up." Doyoung protested.

"It would be faster if I go home with Jaehyun though?"

"Eyy, Hyung, Joo-ey noona already stays with you. She can't even take a rest on the way home? She must want to have some time not being with you." Donghyuk butt in again.

"Look at you speaking, Lee Donghyuk." Doyoung pointed at him with a bread instead of his finger, his expression was rather funny than threatening.

"Taeyong hyung, this hyung bullies me," he cried, still teasing the bunny guy. "Noona, too, you will join us against Doyoung hyung, right?"

You let out a crisp laugh. "Anything for baby Hyuckie."

"That's right!" he exclaimed with his annoying face that never fails provoking Doyoung. "Teaming up with Taeyong hyung is much better than with Doyoung." Donghyuk meant it as a joke. Either you, Doyoung, and Taeyong himself knew that better than anyone else. But the three of you slightly got worked up. If Johnny didn't cut in to save the mood, the tension in the air between you, Doyoung and Taeyong would be too obvious.

Taeyong couldn't help but feeling envious and jealous. He imagined it over and over, would it be the same if you chose to be with him? Would he now sit where Doyoung was sitting, bickering like lovebirds with you?

"Taeyong?" you softly called him, making him flinched now that he had gotten back go reality.

He always liked the way you call his name. It was always soothing his ears. Sometimes he wondered if you call Doyoung that way too. But why would it matter? Doyoung had all the privilege to be with you 24/7 now.

"I think I'll head back home first. It looks like Doyoung's brother sent us something. The delivery guy is waiting for us," you told him.

Nodding was the only answer he could give. Again, how he wished it was him who gets to leave with you. He silently watched the figures of you and Doyoung walking away without looking back. You'd often rub Doyoung's back and stretch up your neck talking to him. Taeyong hated himself for asking this over and over; why it can't be him. Why Doyoung instead of him?

Johnny, Jaehyun, Mark and Yuta ended up taking him out for another round of drinks and some more of late night snack. They kept saying 'good job' and 'you've gone through a lot', hoping it could console him even for a bit. Yet those words couldn't even penetrate his ears anymore. His throat felt numb as he chugged on his drink, not even bothered to feel the burning sensation of the alcohol.

Taeyong felt a buzz from his phone inside his sling bag. He didn't feel like knowing who contacted him this late at night, yet he still checked his phone. When he saw your name popping up on the notification of new messages, again, the mixed feelings filled his heart. To him, you were that close yet so far. He could easily come to you, but he wouldn't be able to reach your hand. If he pushed himself, either he couldn't afford letting you go, or you would end up leaving him again. Pretending to be strong was never this difficult. From : Joo Great to see you today. I know you had a hard time and you went through a lot. But you are stronger than you know. You did well. You always do. Thank you once again. And one more thing... I'm sorry. —

on the way back home from restaurant

"Doyoung?"

"Hm?"

"Don't think too much of what the kids said. You and I know how much jokesters they are," you calmly said, as if having the capability to read his mind. "I would never compare you and him. Both of you are my friends. I cherish you both."

Teaming up with Taeyong is better. With Taeyong is better. Taeyong is better.

Doyoung would acknowledge that. Even when he was the one with you right now, Taeyong would still win.

Yeah, sure, both Doyoung and Taeyong were your beloved friends. But why did it feel like he had to compete with Taeyong? The intention of marrying you was merely for Doyoung to have a normal life as someone's husband who will make the wife, the parents, and the in-laws happy. He knew he was capable of that. You were not someone he chose after going for a deep thinking. He was just 'oh, I think she's good and we both know each other for a long time, so it should be easy' and there he was now. Everything went smoothly until he realized there was this man named Lee Taeyong and his great willingness to walk through fire for you if he has to. It was truthfully one part that Doyoung never thought it would be this severe. None of his intention ever had something to do with him. Thr relationship with Hyemi used to be promising to be the long-term one. Who knew it would get crushed by Taeyong himself? Why can't he just stay with Hyemi? Doyoung even had imagined it before, him and Taeyong being married with the significant other, complaining about marriage life, sharing their old married couple stories, and also the happy and dark days in child caring when they got much older. Honestly it was a beautiful future he had hoped. Yet now he and him became rivals?

"I don't," he lied, giving you a smile to convince you enough.

Was it Doyoung's fault to choose you out of all people?

You smiled back at him, hugging him from the side part and rubbing his back.

No. Up to this second, you never brought up any sensitive topic about the relationship that will be official in a matter of weeks. Doyoung kept reassuring himself that he had made it clear to you if in any time you doubt anything, you could call it off.

Calm down, Kim Doyoung. She already chose to be with you. If she doesn't have any regret, then this should be the right thing to do.

[florbexter]

The F in Fake stands for Love

a Love By Chance Fanfiction

Pairing: TinCan

+++

Chapter 2 - The fake-boyfriend liquidation [AO3 Link]

Normally, Can told himself, normally he wouldn’t take Tin’s offer to give him a ride. The less time they spent with each other the better he thought. Ae’s words though, they just wouldn’t leave his head. 

What if he was an accomplice in Tin’s game without knowing? He wasn't going to be used like that!

Tin was already waiting outside when he left his home and Can tried to remember the conversation, he had rehearsed most of the night. If Tin cooperated, he would know his true motives in ten minutes flat. 

“Good morning,” Tin said and because Can hadn’t slept most of the night he just did a wai and fastened his seatbelt. Tin started the car and Can asked himself if Tin would let him drive his car if they really were boyfriends? Focus, he told himself. This was not the question he should ask.

“You already had breakfast?”, Tin asked, and Can was thrown off his path. 

“No?”, he said because yes, he ate something, but also no, he wouldn’t mind eating again. 

Tin threw him a look. “We’re early, we can stop at a café and take something with us. It’s on me.”

Can squinted at Tin. Did Tin know how easy it was to distract him with food? Did he suspect something? Why was he so nice?

“Are you in love with Ai Pete?”, Can asked out of the blue because he really had no idea how someone would start a conversation like that any other way.

Tin frowned. “What?”

Can cleared his throat. “Simple question, are you in love with Ai Pete?”

“Did Ae make you ask me that?”

Can crossed his arms in defence before his body. “No! I just want to know if I’m used in a nefarious -”

“Look at you using big words.”

“Don’t interrupt me! Nefarious plan to break up Ai Pete and Ae. Because that would be mean, and I wouldn’t help you with it. Because when you use me to break up Ai Pete and Ae then Ae will hate me forever, and he is one of my best friends. He is also on the football team and with him hating me I wouldn’t be able to play football anymore, because of guilt! And I really like football, okay? And I like Ai Pete. Their break-up would force me to choose between them and I would choose Ae, but he would hate me so I would lose both and…”

“Your head seems like a scary place,” Tin commented and held up one hand to stop Can from yelling at him again. “Before you set yourself on fire with your panic, I can assure you, I’m not in love with Ai Pete.”

Whatever untangled inside him in sheer relieve was because of his concern for Ae and Ai Pete Can told himself. There was no other explanation for his feeling of being able to breathe more freely. 

“You sure?”, he asked and Tin chuckled. 

“Ai Pete is my best friend since we were little. Am I possessive? Am I concerned for him, maybe more than you would understand? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with him.”

Can nodded and fiddled with the seam of his shirt. This had been easier than he thought it would go. Which brought up the question of why Tin was so nice and cooperative? 

“Since it’s question time, why don’t you tell me why you made up a boyfriend?”

“Why are people gossiping about you doing drugs?”, he asked out of sheer desperation and flinched away from his own question a second later. There was a crack in Tin’s easy-going mask, a strain around his eyes and his knuckles around the steering wheel turned white. Can chewed on his lip. He hadn’t meant to… he didn’t want to.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Who’s telling that?”, Tin asked and Can saw that he tried to relax again. 

“Ai Pond said yesterday that some IC guys are talking about it”, he said and sent a silent ‘Sorry’ to Ai Pond for selling him out like that. 

“Pond? The porno guy?” 

Can blinked and nodded because yeah Ai Pond was still known around campus as the porno-party guy. 

“He just mentioned a few rumours going around.” Rumours which had, next to Ae’s accusation that Tin was in love with Ai Pete, made Can tossing and turning that night. 

Tin drove the car into a parking spot in front of a café. He switched off the engine and turned to Can. 

“I don’t do drugs,” he said. “There are certain stories about my time in England but most of them aren’t true.” 

“Good,” Can replied. “Because it’s also frowned upon in the fake-dating-community if the fake-boyfriend doesn’t talk about drug addiction to warn the other fake-boyfriend.” 

Tin chuckled and Can was glad because the atmosphere in the car had gotten heavy, but Tin didn’t make it better by laying his arm around the top of Can’s seat. He felt caged. 

“I answered two of your questions, you none of mine. So, I have one last question. When you stole my pictures from Ai Pete’s cell phone - did you do it because you already had the plan of the fake-boyfriend story or because you liked what you saw?”

“Croissants,” Can yelled and didn’t care if he even pronounced the word right. He fought with the handle of the door and remembered to unbuckle before he strangled himself and leapt out of the car. 

+++

“You can’t run away from me,” Tin murmured in his ear and Can almost jumped across the counter to ask the helpful café employee for asylum. 

“I never had macarons,” he said out loud and tried to bring some distance between him and Tin. Who had freakishly long legs and was able to follow him easily? 

“You have two options, answer the embarrassing question or the really embarrassing question.”

“I think I want three croissants.” The man behind the counter eyed them and waited for Tin’s nod before he packed up the pastry. Rude, Can thought. Was it that obvious that Tin had money and he hadn’t? 

“You know practically everything about me, but you’re a mystery.”

“Oh, please,” Can scoffed. “I only know that you’re rich, lived in England for a while and that you have an unhealthy obsession with the relationship of your best friend.”

“Should I change my obsession to you?”, Tin asked, and Can was only able to stare at him. The café employee hemmed and held the bag with the croissants out for them. Can snatched it out of his hands and ran out of the building. The blood pounding in his ears and his chest made it impossible to hear or think clearly so he found himself back in Tin’s passenger seat. This was not okay, he thought. He put a hand on his chest, and he could actually feel his hammering heartbeat and that was…

He flinched when Tin opened the car door and slid into the driver's seat. If not for the croissants in his hand he would have sit on them to avoid touching his chest again. 

“I bought some macarons,” Tin said and threw the little package at him. Can caught it on autopilot. Tin just looked at him and Can fished one of the croissants out of the bag and took a huge bite out of it. He stared straight ahead but he saw out of the corner of his eyes that Tin shook his head, smiled and started the engine. 

The croissant was delicious, buttery and soft and normally Can would voice out loud how yummy it was, but every word would be used against him by Tin. This was only the second day of their arrangement. How would he survive the next days?

He was finished with his first croissant and eyed the macarons. 

“You really never had one?”, Tin asked and Can nodded. 

“I’m a fan of Thai sweets, so I never saw the need to buy them.” 

“How many flavours are there?”

The way they spoke was polite and Can had the feeling they were avoiding explosives. 

“Uhm… Strawberry, pistachio, chocolate, red velvet and lemon. Two of each.”

“Can I have one strawberry? My favourites.”

“Sure.” Can took the sweet out carefully and handed it to Tin. 

“Now you know my favourite macaron flavour, so it’s like 4 to 0 for you.” 

Can groaned. Tin winked at him. Can stuffed his face with the two chocolate flavoured macarons and didn’t really taste much of the confection because he felt himself blush. 

Tin chewed his macaron and if chewing had an emotion it was smug. 

“I’m going to drop you off at your campus, okay?” They already were on the premise of the university and Can saw the sports science building in the distance. Can nodded and used another macaron to occupy his mouth. Maybe he would gain twenty pounds during those two weeks but at least he wouldn’t have to answer Tin’s questions. Which wasn’t so bad he guessed. Tin seemed like someone who would like to have information about you but would use them to stab the knife in personally and not to tattle to others. And maybe he earned the right to know the reason behind Can’s whole scheme. He was, after all, one of the persons most affected by it. 

He swallowed and waited until Tin halted the car on the curb next to the sports science department. 

“You remember P’Techno?”, he asked and tried to suppress his nervous fidgeting. 

“Your ‘trainer’?”, Tin asked back and used his hands to make air-quotes. 

“Hey. He is the best, okay? Not in a very good mood for the last couple of days, but he is a great trainer.” 

“Sorry, please continue.” 

Can frowned at Tin because he had heard his mocking undertone, but let it slide. 

“I have no idea if he ever had a relationship or if he just doesn’t want one or doesn’t need one, but…” He took a deep breath. “They said I was like P’No. They made fun of me and asked if I want to be like him in every way and that… It’s stupid, I know! Okay? I know it’s stupid and maybe P’No is happy and I know that at least three of the guys on the team are not happy in their relationships, but... “ He sighed again and saw that he had torn apart the second croissant and little flakes laid on his lap. Irritated he brushed them off. “There was so much pity and they were so condescending. I hated it…” 

“They don’t really deserve the truth when they act that way,” Tin said. 

“Yeah,” Can said and let a huge sigh escape. “They’re my teammates, I don’t really do much with them outside of training, but…” He had felt so dumb and immature. He had wanted to escape that conversation so bad that he had said the first thing without thinking about it. Now he sat in a foreign car and had croissants flakes at his feet. 

“So… that’s the whole story… pretty simple, huh?” 

Tin just looked at him. He was so handsome, Can thought, he had gotten used to it, but then, bumm, it hit him like a freight train. He froze when Tin leaned forward an intense look in his eyes. He wouldn’t…. he couldn’t... this was not… what?

Tin’s breath brushed his ears as he said: “Nothing about you is simple Can.” He leaned even further and Can let out a squeak. He felt the breeze from the open car door and stared at Tin who had opened it for him. 

“Have fun in your lectures. See you at lunch.” 

Can stumbled towards his seminar room with an ache in his chest. 

+++

“Are those macarons?” 

Can looked down and saw that he still had the bag with the last croissant in one hand and the box with the macarons in the other. Amth, a fellow football teammate, stood in front of him and Can had no idea how he had made it to the lecture and what it had been about. 

“Yeah, macarons… you want one?”, he asked but pulled his hand back the moment Amth wanted to take one. “But not the strawberry ones.” Tin had said they were his favourite and he bought the box so it would be unfair to not give him the remaining one. Which, again, made him think about the scene in the car and he was torn between a shiver and goose bumps. When he moved his head, he had the feeling to catch a whiff of Tin’s smell as if he had imprinted himself on him in the car. 

It messed with his head and he had the urge to turn around and see if Tin stood in the door to the classroom and looked at him. What exactly had happened back in the car? Had Tin flirted with him? That couldn’t be right… nobody had been around to see them being fake boyfriends so why would he... 

“Nothing about you is simple,” he had said. What did that mean? He was simple. That what made him Can. He wasn’t complicated, he had no secrets… oh, yeah, that was wrong wasn’t it? 

He was one of the last to leave the classroom and wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He didn’t remember his timetable… what time was it anyway? 

His cell phone vibrated and on the cracked screen, he saw a message from Tin. Figures, he thought. The internet just worked sporadically most of the time, but Tin’s messages went through. 

“Don’t forget our lunch date. xo.”

Can blinked and his eyes traced the shapes and forms of xo. That didn’t mean what he thought it meant, right? 

He groaned and put the phone back in his pocket. He wasn’t… he… he wasn’t equipped for stuff like that, as if they were in one of the dramas his mum loved so much. He stomped with one food and wanted to start a string of whining, but in the distance, he saw a familiar face and without thinking he yelled: “P`Type!”

His senior startled and Can saw that for a moment he contemplated to run away, but he didn’t. Can liked him for that. He jogged up to him. 

“N’Can, I’m sorry but I’m not able to feed you today. Moreover, it’s not lunchtime, you can endure until then.” 

“I’m not hungry P’Type!”, Can said and pouted. Which strangely was true. He remembered the croissant and held the bag up for P’Types inspection. 

“I need your advice. I have one croissant if you want.” 

P’Type frowned at him and looked behind Can as if he wanted to make sure he wasn’t pranked. Can understood him. Never had Can provided food for others. Can remembered to do a wai and did another for good measure.

“Please! Please, please, please. I need your help. P’Type!” 

“Fine! You don’t have to scream in my face. Come on, let us sit outside.” 

P’Type snatched the bag out of his hands so Can pouted a little bit. At least he still had the macarons. 

Can had been, from the first moment he had met him, convinced that P’Type had the answers to almost every question. It was only logical to go to him when he didn’t know what to do. 

“So… what do you need my help for?”, P’Type asked and took a huge bite out of the croissant as if he wanted to make a point. Can fiddled with his fingers and wasn’t sure how to begin. P’Type scrutinized him. 

“Is this about your fake-boyfriend?”

Can spluttered and jumped up. “How… this is… I’m… not… lies!!!!”

P’Type just rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure how you thought people would believe you,” he stopped and frowned. “Or how you thought I would believe you? I’m not surprised about Ai No, to be honest, but deeply disappointed in Champ.” 

Can sat back down. “Why didn’t you say something?”, he asked. 

P’Type just shrugged and devoured the rest of the croissant. “It’s not my place I thought. You’re normally not someone who lies so I thought you maybe had a reason.”

Can wanted to say something but P’Type interrupted him: “How Champ fell for your lie is still a mystery to me, we know you, he knows you! As if it isn’t strange that we didn’t witness your whole falling in love part… how?”

“Could we focus back on me, please?”, Can asked and P’Type blinked at him as if he had to shook himself out of his disappointment over P’Champs gullibility. 

“Yeah, sure, sorry. Tell me.” 

And Can sighed and took a deep breath and told him. About the pictures in Ai Pete’s phone, his lie, that Tin had the audacity to come back from England. That he was suspicious of Ae’s intentions towards Ai Pete and how he blackmailed him to be fake boyfriends for two more weeks. 

“Wow,” P’Type said at the end of Can’s ramble and methodically smoothed the crinkles out of the croissant bag. “That is quite a development.” 

“What should I do?”, Can asked. 

“You have to decide first if you really care about Tin telling everyone about your fake-relationship or if you’re freaking out because you want to kiss him.”

Can gaped at P’Type. No… no, he didn’t want to kiss Tin! Tin had planted those thoughts inside his head because he had pulled that stunt in the car. Can had never and would never want to kiss Tin! Maybe other people wanted to kiss Tin because - objectively - he was handsome and smelled nice and why would you kiss someone who you didn’t find attractive and smelled bad? That would be stupid, and he wasn’t stupid and… wait… what? 

“I don’t want to kiss Tin!”, he said out loud to make P’Type understand. Meanwhile, P’Type had folded the bag in a tiny little square. 

“Believe me, you want.”

“I don’t really know him! He’s rude, he blackmails me… how could you think!” Can had to stop because he had started to breathe heavily and needed time not to hyperventilate. 

P’Type patted him on the arm in a very condescending way. 

“There are no rules, you know. You’re allowed to want to kiss someone after you met them, or after you knew them all your life. You’re allowed to crush on someone you met for only a minute or your whole lifetime. You can fall out of love as quickly as falling in love. There’re no rules.” 

Can just stared at P’Type.

“You stole his photos because you’re attracted to him. This whole blackmail thing is a huge mess and still… you’re allowed to like him despite that. And if you really think that it would be that big of a deal if Tin would tell everyone about your fake-relationship… there are more ‘scandals’ happening at the university than I’m comfortable with. I promise you no one would care. You two should go back on even ground. Ask him if he really wants to ‘investigate’ Ae’s and Pete’s relationship or if he has other motives.”

“Other motives?”

“You think you’re the only one making stupid decisions when being cornered? Or when you thought there are no other options? Get this whole blackmail thing out of the way and I would advise communicating but If you have the urge to run away for some time by all means…”

P’Type looked up and wanted to hit himself. Can had a dazed look on his face and P’Type knew he had unloaded too much on him way too soon. He should have just fed the guy. With a glance to his watch, he saw that he had to go to his next lecture. He felt a bit bad leaving Can like this, all alone and lost. 

“You have some thinking to do… And, actually, I can’t really tell you how you feel or how you should feel. Or who you want to kiss. That’s your decision. Just… stop the blackmailing or whatever you two are doing, okay?��

Can nodded, but it seemed like an automatic response. P’Type patted his head because Can looked like a lost puppy. 

“See you,” he said and Can waved half-heartily at him. He looked back before he turned around a corner and Can still sat on the bench and looked at his box of macarons. 

+++

Can had given up on his normal schedule for the day. He prayed his mum wouldn’t find out, but he wouldn’t be able to concentrate in the classes anyway, so… the library was not very occupied at this time of the day just some haggard looking grad students mumbling to themselves. 

He had thought to talk to P’Type would clear everything up, but his thoughts were a mess and he couldn’t concentrate. Which was why he was in the library and dumped every thought on a piece of paper. 

I don’t want to kiss Tin, he wrote on the top of it. Because Tin was rude, and didn’t stay in England, and because he didn’t follow the rule of enough distance between their bodies. And the blackmailing thing. He couldn’t forget that he thought and wrote it on the paper in capital letters. 

P’Type had said he should stop the blackmailing. And when Can really, really, really thought about it then he had to admit that he didn’t care what the IC faculty would think about him. He didn’t know anybody there… expect Ai Pete, but he was an honourable Thai Program, so he didn’t count. P’Champ would roast him endlessly… but that was nothing new. If it wouldn’t be Can it would be someone else… so he took one for the team. Also, if he was brutally honest with himself… he wouldn’t have been able to last the whole two weeks. He would have screwed up, either because of embarrassment or for prattling away. He wasn’t a good actor, telling the boys that Tin was his boyfriend had been the first deliberate lie he had ever told… 

A letter, a letter would be a good idea. Can wasn’t always sufficient enough verbally so he could write a letter and explain to Tin that their arrangement was null and void, and he could kiss his… someone put a stack of books on the table with a loud thump. 

+++

The IC parking lot was deserted, nevertheless, Can had the urge to tiptoe to Tin’s car. Which would make him look like he wanted to steal the car he realized… He pinned the letter between the windscreen and the wiper with care because the car was a beauty and shouldn’t be scratched and when he stood back, he was pleased with the result. It shouldn’t fly away and there was no scratch on the car and…

“Are you serious?”

Can turned around and squeaked. He may have even flailed a little bit. 

Tin looked at him but there was no frown on his face. It was strangely blank and only his eyes seemed to convey an emotion. He was angry. 

Can felt a huge lump in his throat and swore internally. Why was he the unlucky one in this universe? He pointed at the letter.

“I wrote you something, you should… read it… yeah! Bye!” 

He didn’t get far. Can was still insistent about the fact that Tin wasn’t that much taller than him, but he had long legs and moved like lightning. Can groaned at the hand around his upper arm. 

“You’re staying here.” Tin said and Can heard a weird vibration in his tone. He was dragged back to the car and Tin pulled the letter off with his free hand. Can felt like a wet towel hanging off Tin’s arm and he squirmed. 

Tin shushed him. 

Heat flushed his face while Tin read the letter and why hadn’t he memorized Tin’s timetable? 

“Your grammar is appalling,” Tin said and Can tried getting off his hold again. Tin’s hand was unforgiving and why was a rich spoiled kid so strong? 

“Just let me goooo,” he whined. Why was it only him who got humiliated all the time? What did he do to deserve this kind of karma? 

“You break up our fake-relationship with a letter? How pathetic can you be?”

Can spluttered. “Your reading this letter wrong! I’m telling you off!! Off!! This is about me no longer bowing down to your paranoid and weird stalking of Ai Pete’s and Ae’s relationship.”

“With very bad handwriting,” Tin mumbled, and didn’t he get the point? 

“This is not what you should be focusing on, asshole! I’ll no longer be blackmailed by you, you hear me?” 

Tin let go of him and Can stumbled backwards. The spot on his upper arm hurt a little bit and he stroked it with a frown. Tin seemed to read the letter again and folded it in half afterwards. Can wasn’t sure but he didn’t look angry anymore… disappointed? The lump in his throat grew which was weird. He shouldn’t be the one feeling guilty. 

Tin looked at him as if he was surprised, he was still there. He waved with the letter. 

“I get it… just forget about everything.” Tin was about to get into the car and Can felt panic rise in him. This wasn’t what he wanted, he realized. But he had no idea what he really wanted and… 

He remembered P’Type words and surged forward. 

“Wait,” he said, and Tin turned around and flinched because Can was suddenly in his space. Can thoughts didn’t make sense to him, but that was normal, so he just did what his instinct told him. He grabbed Tin’s face and kissed him. It wasn’t a very long or, he thought, a good kiss and their lips weren’t perfectly lined up, but it counted. 

His heart pounded so hard it hurt and he hastily stepped back after a few seconds. Tin stared at him and Can wasn’t sure what his face meant. Maybe he had hated the kiss or wanted to laugh at him so Can held his head up high and tried to look as confident as possible. 

“You got my first kiss… we’re even now.” His voice sounded scratchy and rough and foreign. He ran away. 

+++

His lips tingled. His lips tingled and he felt jittery and dazed and the memory of the kiss wouldn’t leave his head. Can stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were fixated on his mouth. His lips weren’t swollen or redder than before. He had refused to touch them as if the memory of the kiss would spring on his fingertips. 

They looked the same, but they felt different. 

“Stupid!”, he shouted at the mirror and someone banged against the door. 

“Don’t yell!”, Ley yelled at him and Can stuck out his tongue at the door. 

“Mind your own business!”

She kicked against the door and Can flinched back. His sister was a demon, he was sure of it. He listened to her retreating footsteps and checked if the door was still locked for good measure. 

His lips still looked the same when he looked back in the mirror. 

They were even now, he thought. He had used Tin as his fake-boyfriend and Tin got his first kiss. He couldn’t even recall how it had been. He remembered the pressure, but his heart had hammered so hard, the blood had rushed through his ears. It had happened within seconds…

He wanted to kiss Tin again…

“Nooooo,” he wailed and opened the faucet to throw cold water on his face. This shouldn’t be the outcome of it all. He sank to his knees and put his forehead against the cold surface of the sink. Nevertheless, all he could think about was that he wanted to kiss Tin again to properly remember kissing him. 

No… he shook his head. It wasn’t about Tin it was about his first kiss. 

“It’s normal that I would want to remember that,” he murmured and sat down. He never had thought much about how his first kiss would be, but now that it had happened, he wanted to remember it properly.

“Tin most likely doesn’t care,” he mumbled and flexed his toes into the bathroom carpet. “What do I know about how many English people he kissed.” Which didn’t matter to Can, Tin could kiss the Queen of England if he wanted to. Can wouldn’t care. 

He pulled his legs towards his body and pressed his face against his thighs. How as he going to survive the next time he saw Tin? Would he make a comment? Had he already told everyone about their fake relationship?

He fished his phone out of his pocket, but a new weird-coloured streak had appeared across his screen and made it difficult to read anything on it. It was practically useless now. 

Ley knocked on the door again. “Are you done in there? If you stank up the place, I’ll kill you!” Can rolled his eyes, got up and stomped out of the bathroom. He let himself fall face-down on his bed. His phone made a dull sound as it fell on the floor. His mum was going to kill him if he asked her for a new one. 

+++

Can had draped his body around the goal post and played with the net. P’No had banished him to check on it after Can had proved himself useless on the field. He pushed the tip of his shoes into the ground and looked through his fringes towards the bleachers. Ai Pete was sitting on his usual spot and waved at Ae. There was no one sitting next to him.

One week after their kiss and it was like Ai Tin was back at England as if he had vanished from Thailand. It was… unsettling.

In theory, Can had known that Ai Tin wouldn’t want to see him again after he ended the blackmailing but wasn’t it unfair?

“It isn’t like I blackmailed him,” Can mumbled and shuffled along the outer lines of the field towards the bleachers. They were even now, right? Can had used Tin, Tin had used Can and Tin had gotten Can’s first kiss.

“I didn’t say he should disappear.” He slouched over to the bleachers and waved at Pete.

“Hey, Ai Can.”

Can kneeled on a seat in the row in front of Pete’s.

“Hey, Ai Pete.”

Pete smiled at him. “You’re not training today?”

Can shook his head. “Isn’t it a bit hot here?”, he asked.

“It’s alright, I’m sitting in the shadows and have enough to drink.” Pete pointed at the cooler under the seat next to him. Can nodded and pursed his lips. He beat a drum on the back of the seat and tried not to acknowledge that Ai Pete eyed him with curiosity.

“Ai Tin and you are no longer fake boyfriends?”

Can almost slid off the seat. “How do you…?”

“He’s not here watching you, right?”

“He was watching Ae,” Can disagreed.

“Why should he watch Ae?”

Can rolled his shoulders and sighed in discomfort. He was better with people yelling at him. His sister yelled at him a lot when they talked, and his mum yelled at him when she wanted him to do something. Yelling was better for conveying emotions.

“Ai Tin told me he doesn’t trust Ae, but I never believed that was the real reason why he would sit with me for hours watching you all train.”

“Why else would he?”, Can asked and jumped up to rock back and forth on his feet.

Pete tilted his head and the smile on his lips was certainly because of Can.

“You remember, when you visited me, and Tin found us? The benches?”

Can nodded and put one hand around his neck. He still felt Tin’s breath on his skin.

“We know each other for a long time, and yes, I would consider him my best friend, but I never knew he could be this playful.”

“Playful? He’s a bully!” He had blackmailed him! He had invaded Can’s comfort zone and even worse: he wouldn’t leave Can’s thoughts.

Pete shook his head.

“He’s playful around you, believe me. He would never gotten along with the fake boyfriend scheme with anyone. From the moment at the party until now… he acts totally different than I’m accustomed to.”

Can felt the need to run a thousand laps around the field. He had jitters in his knees and a hollow feeling in his belly. It felt so weird. And nice… to know that Can saw a side of Tin no one knew about…

“I didn’t want to drive him away from the football field or… you know, stop hanging around with us.”

“Us? With you, right?”

Can groaned. “We hung out! With other people? I’m—”

“Can,” Pete interrupted him and leaned forward urgently. “Why do you think you were able to convince people that you were a couple?”

Can squirmed and wasn’t it hot today? He turned around to look at his teammates. It hadn’t taken much to convince them. Maybe P’Type was right and they should have figured out what was going on.

“We only did it for like four days,” Can said.

Pete stared at him for a moment and then leaned back with a sigh.

“I can only tell you that he’s different around you. I never saw him with such lightness.”

Can thought back to Tin’s face as he had read the letter. His impassive face, the darkness of his eyes. He had been so angry and then…

He crossed his arms in front of his chest so that he wouldn’t touch his lips. It didn’t matter anyway, right? If Tin didn’t want to be around him anymore, then it was irrelevant how he had been around Can before.

He sat down on one of the chairs and groaned. Why had this become such a mess?

++++++

end of chapter 2

to be continued

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Yeah. What’s your favorite season of the year? Fall and winter. Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? Nope. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? My dad’s is next month. Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? Yikes. No one. Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? No.

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? My best guy friend at the time, Kyle. When was the last time you burned any part of your body? I don’t recall. What are the last three songs you listened to? Diamonds by Megan the Stallion ft. Normani Going Bad by Meek Mill ft. Drake Yummy by Justin Bieber. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No. Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? No. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Have you ever called somebody dollface? Yeah, I used to say that sometimes jokingly. If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? Food. Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No! What do you do in awkward situations? Act awkward and make it even more awkward haha. Are you up later than you should be? I’m always up this late.  What are you most excited about right now? Nothing. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? Nope. Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? No. How long was the longest survey you ever took? I’ve done most of the 5,000 questions survey. Do you like sour candy? No. I don’t enjoy the sour sensation and it irritates my mouth. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? I don’t plan on ever getting married. Do you have Verizon? Yes. What do you do to stay awake when you’re tired? Try to do something like this. Are all nighters something you have grown used to? Yeah. I usually go to bed around 5ish, sometimes not even until like 6. That’s pretty much morning. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I never wear sunglasses. I also don’t drive. Do you wear your shoes around the house? No. Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? Nope. Even in the summer when I complain about being hot and miserable, I still take hot showers. I’m weird. What clothes are you most comfortable in? Leggings and oversized tees. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? For the most part. What has changed most about you in the past year? Nothing in a good way. Are you good at painting nails? No. If it’s late at night and you’re hungry, what do you reach for? Nothing, I just wait until later. Smoothies or slushies? I haven’t had either one in years. Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? Nopeee. Be honest, have you ever used Wikipedia for school work? I’ve gotten info and ideas, but I fact checked reliable sources. What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? Hmm. Can you multitask well? Depends on what I’m doing. What’s your opinion on good grammar: important or not? Important to me. Will you eat something if it falls on the ground? Nopeee. The second it touches the ground, it’s germ food. Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? I cross it out if using a pen. Or use white-out if I have it. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Blah, nooo. Do you see the value in education? Absolutely. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I’ve volunteered at homeless shelters, an animal shelter, a nursing home, the hospital, and for events with the club I was in in college. Do you use a full length mirror daily? No. Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I can’t. What type of TV shows do you like best? Dramas. Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? Yeah, a few. Do you care much for the music on the radio? I haven’t listened to the radio in so long. Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don’t have a sex life. Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? Of course. Mac or PC? Mac. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yeah. Mostly just coffee. Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? I’m so bad about that. :X Are you prone to illness? I have health issues, but I don’t get colds and things like that often. I feel sick a lot for other reasons. What does most of your money go toward? Food and clothes. Do you ever actually make your bed? It stays made. I sleep on top of the blankets and just use a throw blanket. Do you make an effort to eat healthy? No. :X How are things between the person you like/love/are with? I’m single and I don’t like anyone in that way. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. When was the last time something bothered you? There’s always something. I bet you miss someone, huh? Yep. Does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure they have a good reason. The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? I don’t recall. That was so long ago. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing, yet.  What year do/did you graduate? I graduated college back in 2015. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? Probably tequila. How long until your next birthday? 5 months. What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? I don’t have anything in particular.  Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Mhm. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I would have loved to have seen Linkin Park when Chester was still alive. :( If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? As tempting as the money is, I honestly think I’d go with changing a regret. If I could change a health related one, it would make a big difference with something I’m dealing with now. It would be very beneficial.  I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Nope. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? Like 4 years ago. Are you taller than your mom? No. Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again? No and that’s fine. I moved on years ago. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah, a few people. I’ve been high myself. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? At night. Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? Nope. I’ve been single for several years now. It’s been 4 years since I’ve even talked to anyone in that way. What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving? Uh, I’d have a lot of questions if my mom told me that. If she’s moving, so are we (my dad, brother, doggo, and I). You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? No, it’d just be super awkward. It’s been so long since we’ve seen or even talked to each other, so. What’s so special about what you’re wearing? Nothing. Does anyone think you are a bitch? Probably. Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? No. Could you handle living with a male roommate? That’d only happen if it were a boyfriend. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? I’d like to be up by then already, but we’ll see. Are you ticklish? Just my neck. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not anymore. I love scary movies, though. Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? We just don’t talk anymore.  Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings. What do you miss the most about your past? I miss when I wasn’t dealing with certain issues. I miss when I was in college only cause I was actually doing something with my life and I had goals and motivation back then. I really miss my childhood. Are any of your friends taller than you? Ha, most people are taller than me except for small children. When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. It’s hard for me to imagine ever finding someone again, honestly. Was this past weekend a good one? I didn’t feel well. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? No. In the past week, have you cried hysterically? Not hysterically. Are you satisfied with your life as of now? No. Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes. Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? Nope. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No. Have you ever been rude to someone without even realizing it? Probably :/ Are your nails painted? No. I haven’t painted my nails in years. Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody?

 Like I said, it’s really hard for me to imagine ever finding someone. Are you on birth control? No. Has a guy/girl sat on your bed before? Yeah. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. How bad are heartbreaks? They’re horrible to say the very least. They’re, well, heartbreaking. Have you ever kissed anyone with the name starting with an R? No. Last time you were really happy? I felt happiness during my Disneyland trip. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I’ve gone almost 10 years now and I have no desire to drink. I don’t miss it at all. Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes. Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? I think my aunt last messaged me on Facebook. Do you tend to fall for players? No. I fell for guys who didn’t fall for me. Why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex? It didn’t work out and we moved on. Where is your biological father right now? He’s in bed asleep in the next room. Who’s the last person that you felt was stalking you? I’ve never felt that way, thankfully. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother. I’m actually going later today with my mom. Who else is in the room with you? Just me. How is your hair right now? It’s up in a bun. Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Yeah, I used to ask my guy friends for advice about guys. When you say you don’t care, do you mean it? For the most part, no. Did you say “f—” today? Not so far. I probably won’t. I rarely drop an f bomb. How late did you stay up last night? I think around 430AM. Could you go a month without cursing? Yeah. I don’t curse a lot. Do you have a job? If so where? Nope. Do you usually have weird dreams? All my dreams are weird. What color is your hair? I dye it red. What was the last thing you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot. Water with ice or no ice? No ice. I’m not an ice fan.  Are you wrapped in a blanket? No. Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? No. Have you spoken to your mother today? Not yet. It’s 4:30 in the morning, I haven’t talked to anyone so far. Father? ^^^

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #253

hope everyone is staying safe through this quarantine. wash your hands.

Which band do you have more music of than anyone else on your computer? Ozzy. Who’s your favorite philosopher? *shrugs* I don't know any's ideals well. How old were you when you learned how to read? I'm not sure, but I know I was exceptionally young. What’s the coolest Halloween costume you’ve ever worn? I don't think I've ever worn something rather cool. Who’s your favorite painter/artist? If we're talking about well-known, "popular" artists, I'm not sure. Maybe DaVinci. What’s your favorite song lyric- ever? ARE YOU??????????? FOR REAL?????????? Holy FUCK I get goosebumps from lyrics SO easily, this is like impossible. Probably an Otep lyric, though. I really don't like her personally, but goddamn can she write. What’s your dream tattoo if you don’t have it already? I've linked it before, so I'll just remind it's "Denialism" by deviantART's NukeRooster on my entire, upper left arm. I've already gotten her permission (I don't like just... stealing artwork to put on my body), now just comes the day I can pay for it by a top-tier pro. What’s the coolest screen name you’ve ever had? I don't think any have been necessarily "cool." Who do you think was the most badass serial killer? (Real life.) I'm not well-versed in serial killers honestly, but I can say Charles Manson was a C A S E. I think we can all admit he was... interesting. Just the epitome of weird. Most badass fictional serial killer? ig Jason; again, I don't know a lot off the top of my head, but I like him. How many bank accounts do you have? I don't have one. Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yep. Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? Parts of it, sure. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive a car, but Mom's is a... Honda? Kia? Idk. I'm bad with car brands. What kind of car would you like to have? Average size, pretty simple. Burnt orange or red. I know I want one of those screens you look into to see what's behind you when backing up. Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. So unhealthy, but I will destroy and Oreo Cupfection. Try. That. Stuff. Their milkshakes are also great. Which website do you email from? Outlook. Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Sure, it's nice. Have you ever had the flu? No. What about strep throat? Maybe once? Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school? Kinda, yeah. Did you ever enjoy gym class? Fuck no. Even when I was healthy. What is your biggest insecurity? My body. Have you ever painted a room alone? No. How many huge secrets do you have? Huge? Uhhh, none, I think. Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? Yes. Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? I prefer eating out because yummy food, but considering I'm working on losing weight, I avoid it. Do you have any younger siblings? One. Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? To the point of being snow white. Considering my hair is super healthy and bleaching so heavily would destroy it, I'll be avoiding that. I DO want to bleach my hair to do other colors, though. Brown hair sucks. Do you drink vitamin water? No. Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Oh sure, a good handful. The Outsiders probably tops it. Have you ever had a Big Mac before? No, doesn't appeal to me. I don't like veggies on my burgers... despite eating veggie burgers when I was vegetarian lmao. Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I doubt that. Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No. Do you enjoy reading often? I'm finally back into it!! Lately all I've been wanting to do is READ READ READ. Have you ever had a deadly illness? Well, I consider depression (among other mental illnesses) to be very deadly, but on a literal level, no. I mean I have dormant MRSA, which can kill if active, but it never has been. Most people carry that dormantly anyway, if I remember correctly. Ever had food-poisoning before? No, thankfully. Where did you last eat dinner at? Mom bought Nicole and me Sonic. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground & carried you? When I fainted, yes. Are you a flirty person? Not really. A name you hate with a passion? Edward, to name one. Erwin. A lot of old names. What is your favorite type of water (ex. arrowhead)? Essentia mmmmmmmmmmmmm,, Have you ever been to Warped Tour? I WISH. :( Do you know anyone who wears fur? I fucking hope not, because I wouldn't associate with them anymore. When was the last time you were on myspace.com? Damn yo, millennia ago. How often do you cuss? Too much. I mean, I don't even believe "profanity" is a thing by our definition of "that word is magically bad," but still, it's like when people say "like" too much. Have you ever cussed out a teacher? No. What did you think of the movie Juno? I never watched it. How often do you eat meat? Sigh, more than I wish. What grade did you meet your best friend in? We didn't meet in school. Last time you cleaned your room? Couple days back. I'm honestly bad at dusting regularly in here, but that's gotta change with Mom having chemo now. Her immune system will be compromised so this house needs to be as pristine as it can. When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? Disney Channel. We weren't really Cartoon Network kids, actually. It was Disney or Nickelodeon. Do you shave your arms? No. Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? Never read a book, never watched any movies; the first one was playing in my presence once, but I paid no attention. How often would say you pulled all-nighters, if you ever do? Shit man, never, nowadays. I don't think I've had one for two years now. My youth is escaping. Has a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend ever had a problem with you for any reason? I don't think so. How many times a day do you find yourself cracking your joints, if at all? Maybe not even once a day. Only my big toes and upper back can pop. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? No. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? On the side. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Mom. Do you have a dog? Not anymore, thank fuck. Do you like orange juice? Yes. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister? I never liked it. They're not inclusive at all towards fucking NORMAL bodies, nevermind plus size. Apparently even their rules on looks for workers are absolutely horrible. Ashley liked them though, so sometimes I just had to go in with her. If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? My goth could finally  E S C A P E. How do you/did you get to school? My mom drives me. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Four times that I remember off the top of my head. What candy cane flavor is your favorite? MMMMMMMMMM get the pink Starburst kind. Do you get angry when fast food restaurants mess up your order? It's annoying, yes. Angering when you've already driven away, especially when you really wanted something. What was your favorite elective class in high school? Art. Did you ever wish you could be homeschooled? Yes. I was homebound for a little while. Have you ever had a dream so realistic you could’ve sworn it happened? Yes. Do you have any mental disorders? I'm a walking mental disorder, lmao. Y'all know the biggies, and now ADD and especially DPD (dependent personality disorder) are being considered. Do you feel comfortable talking about these disorders, if you have them? Yeah, I really don't care. Where did you go on your last field trip? I want to say to a band competition in high school. Are you able to agree to disagree? Or do you have to have the last word? Yeah, pretty easily. Is there a cover song you like better than the original version? A whole lot, actually. Do you have a hard time talking about sex with the opposite gender? I have a hard time with anyone. Have you ever had major surgery? Major, no. Is there any food you don’t like that a lot of others do? Here in the South, everyone is most surprised when they hear I hate fried chicken. What was the last thing you bragged about? Hm. I'm not sure, actually. I don't make a habit out of doing that. Can you do a backflip? Hell no. Are you listening to anything right now? I have a video up of relaxing tracks from Silent Hill 2 + 3. Great shit. Has anyone ever tried to tell you you were adopted? No. How many doors are in the room you’re in? Two, but one's just the closet door. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yes. Do any of your friends have children? Yep. Is there anything you’re craving right now? Not really. Who got married at the last wedding you attended? A family friend. It was the second wedding I shot. Is happiness something to be achieved and sought after or is it something to be retained and held onto always, no matter what happens? The former. You can't just stay happy when, like, your grandma dies. What gives you a peaceful feeling? Nature. Hearing water and birdsong, specifically. Are you a Toys-R-Us kid? Hell yeah I was. My sisters and I would go crazy if we had the chance to go there. We were SOOOO upset when it closed down. If you believe in Heaven, are there separate heavens for different animals (kittie heaven. dog heaven, bird heaven, etc)? I don't know if I believe in a "heaven," but some sort of peace after death, yes. I believe it's one, unified "heaven." When you sleep next to someone do they fall asleep first usually or do you? They always do considering it takes me ten years to fall asleep. If they do, do you watch them sleep? I have. Not in a creepy way, but rather a "wow I love this person" sorta way. What is your usual breakfast? Usually apple and cinnamon oatmeal What do your salt and pepper shakers look like? They're nothing special. The salt is a blue ceramic, and the pepper one is just what you get from the store. Have you ever had your car towed? I've never had my own car. What band or singer do you believe started rock and roll? I'm pretty sure Elvis is given that credit. Whose voice irritates you like fingernails on a blackboard? The female singer of Mother Mother's voice. Mom and I can't stand her singing. All I songs we enjoy feature almost solely the main singer. I can *tolerate* it in some songs, but. What do you contribute to society? Ha. Do you take naps? Almost daily. Do you have any cavities? Not to my knowledge. Do you believe that there has been a man on the moon? Yes, though I do believe the "first" landing was faked in competition with Russia. It sounds ridiculous, but I'm so serious, look into the theory - there's incredible evidence. Would you ever go into a sex shop? I'd be too self-conscious to. I'd just order online. Let’s just say your school team is on a winning streak. One of the cheerleaders cheers both for your team and the other team during games. Does it make you angry? I don't care enough about sports to even consider how I'd feel. Do you prefer carnivals, festivals, circuses, parades or faires? To be real, I only know the difference between parades and circuses. What even distinguishes the other three from each other. Do you believe in psychic ability or is it a sham? I lean towards no. What is your favorite classic rock song? You CANNOT ask me this question. Classic rock is some of the best music there is.

[egotuberwriting]

Long Live the King

*Walks in with a smoothie* Yo. I finally have another fic after being gone forever. And of course it deals with angst ;D

Bless @sidespromptblog for coming up with the prompt that inspired me to write again, and I’m just gonna casually tag @starwarsdestroyedme and @ky-likes-sanders-sides because I saw their expanded ideas in the notes and decided to use those in here too! Because more angst is the best!

I’m gonna be basing King Creativity’s, Mars, outfit from these pics

Tw: Getting sliced in half; though it’s not graphic I don’t wanna risk anyone getting uncomfortable when getting to the part. If I need to add something, let me know.

Free Cookies to anyone who gets why I named King Creativity ‘Mars’

Wordcount:  1832

    Things were not looking good in Patton’s eyes.

    With Thomas now a teenager and the horrifying thing that is puberty starting to kick in at full force, the Mindscape was a mess. 

    Logan was swamped with work. While he did enjoy learning everything Thomas learned in school, he struggled to ensure Thomas kept the dang knowledge in his long term memory. He was also in a losing battle with him to make sure he ate healthy and went to sleep at a reasonable hour, though Patton would take the blame on that one since he just wants Thomas to have as much fun as he can and eat all the yummy treats he can too.

    And then Anxiety fully made himself known. Sure he was always around, but now he practically took over the driver's seat and is steering the poor boy down an angsty path. Sure, this is the time where Thomas is supposed to discover who he is, but it doesn’t have to be like this! Thank goodness Patton knows how to steer Thomas onto a ‘better’ path, even if for a little while. 

    Patton isn’t even gonna think about what Deceit will be capable of later on in Thomas’s life. Although he does wonder if that snake is the reason Anxiety is the way he is… And then starts to wonder if Deceit’s influence over Anxiety is the reason his friend started changing for the worst.

    The King of Creativity, or Mars, was noticeably getting more and more disturbing, to say the least. While he of course continued to create the  loveable fantasy ideas that he was supposed to be known for, he had started to make very crude jokes and began to delve into dark humor. And to top it all off, he started to go a bit insane and took an interest to more ‘physical humor,’ to put it lightly. Patton gags every time he thinks about the last ‘joke’ Mars showed him. 

    Patton had asked Logan if he noticed these changes in their friend, and while Logan did notice, he only said that this is just a normal phase that will pass. When asked how long it would take to pass, Logan couldn’t give Patton a straight answer since it could be a few years at best, if that.

    That, however, was not the answer Patton wanted to hear.

    It’s been roughly a year since Mars started falling down the rabbit hole of ‘impureness,’ and Patton have had enough. Instead of improving, Mars got worse, and Patton was going to put an end to this once and for all. 

    He stood in front of his best friends door, starting to question his if his decision was a good one or not. He let out a stuttered breath as he reached for the doorknob, only to hesitantly pull away.

    ...No, he had to do this. He had to go through with this. For the good of Thomas, this was something that needed to be done. 

     Patton is Morality; he knows what’s best for Thomas. 

    Besides, if he doesn’t do this, then no one would accept Thomas. He wouldn’t ever grow and would devolve into something horrible and would thus be shunned by everyone around him.

    Taking a deep breath, Morality finally entered Mars’s room. It was a mess; filled with many journals containing ideas for different things that Thomas could create, good, angsty, and disgusting, and a lot of art equipment. Though Morality would prefer to ignore some of the unfinished paintings that’s in his peripheral vision. 

    Mars’s room is significantly bigger than everyone else's due to him wanting to wanting to feel like he’s actually in a castle, so it takes Morality a few minutes before he actually finds Mars. 

    When he finds him, he has his back turned to the other Side and is aggressively painting a new picture with both hands, not at all noticing that Morality stepped into the room. Using this opportunity to his advantage, Morality quickly looked around for Mars’s favorite sword. It was always in the same room as him, so it had to be around here somewhere. To his delight(?), he left it against the wall, almost as if he just left it there while in a rush to paint whatever new thing he thought of. Morality made sure to take it without making a noise, then hid it behind his back.

    He has reached the point of no return.

    Clearing his throat and putting his happy persona on, Patton tapped on Mars’s shoulder. 

    “Hey there, kiddo!” 

    “wHO GOES THERE-” Mars wildly spun around to face the other man, almost hitting him in the face with a paint brush, and didn’t realize that Patton was trying to hide something behind his back. “Oh! It’s just you, Pa! Erm, I’m afraid I cannot show you my next masterpiece because it’s not yet PERFECT! And therefore not actually a MASTERpiece yet. And you know how I HATE showing things that aren’t a perfect masterpiece!” 

    Patton chuckled nervously, “It’s fine. I, uh… I actually wanted to talk to you about something, if you have the time.” 

    Mars gasped, offended at the thought he wouldn’t have the time to listen to his best friend. “Have the time?! Patton, you know I always have time for you, my friend! So, what can I do for you?” He asked, throwing the paintbrushes he was holding to his sides.

    “Well… I wanted to talk to you about your… recent behavior.” Patton gulped. 

    Mars tilted his head curiously at him. He honestly had no idea what Patton was talking about. For all he knew, he was acting normal and adapting to whatever Thomas seemingly had an interest to. 

    “You’ve been, how do I put this? Erratic and really disturbing. The crude jokes and the ‘physical humor’ just isn’t right!” Patton continued with the feeling of dread starting to wash over him.

    Mars was quick to defend himself. “What do you mean? I’m just adapting to what Thomas is growing interested in, or at least what he takes in from his environment! It’s fine!” 

    “No! It’s not fine!” Patton’s breathing started to stutter. “I… I don’t want to do this, but… If that’s what you think, and you’re sticking to it, then you give me no choice.” 

    Slowly, Patton revealed the sword and held it in both hands. Mars’s eyes immediately widened as he took a step back and Patton lifted the sword so it was above his head.

    “W-Wait… Pa… Dad… What are you doing!? Y-You don’t have to do this! Please, think this through!” Mars began to plead, holding his arms up in a defensive position. 

    “I’m sorry…” Patton whispered as he closed his tear-filled eyes. 

                                       “...Long live the king.”

    With a quick slice of the sword, Mars, King of Creativity, was sliced in two. 

    As the two halves slid apart and hit the floor, the Mindscape shook violently. Everything in the room, and probably everywhere else, fell off the walls and onto the floor. 

    The reality of what Morality did hit him quickly. He dropped the sword and looked at the scene in front of him, dropped to his knees, then looked down to his hands. He did this. This was his doing. But… it was for the best, right?

    He didn’t have time to really fully process what happened before he heard the sound of footsteps running towards him and stop at the doorway.

    “...Patton… What have you done?” A shocked Logan asked.

    Morality didn’t answer right away as he was still staring into his hands in horror. Logan is only able to take a step forward before Morality looks over at him, tears streaming down his face.

    “L-Logan… I… I… I had to do it… I couldn’t take it anymore so I… I cut him in half… I-It was the only way… O-Otherwise poor Thomas would have been rejected by others...” 

    Logan, unsure of how to comfort him, just stood there in the doorway. Why in the world Patton would go this far to stop those intrusive thoughts Mars produced was beyond him, but what's done is done. All he can do now is watch as the two halves regenerate to form their own whole body, and watch as Patton continues to break down in the middle of the room.

    What intrigued Logan was that as the halves regenerated, so did their clothes. One half had his clothes turn white, his sash remain red, and had a small bit of gold on his clothes. He looked the most like the former king. 

    The other half, however, was almost dramatically different. He kept the primarily black outfit, but had a green sash, a silver quiff in his hair, his eyes looked like they were both bruised, and his outfit human teeth and eyeballs. 

    It was obvious which half had which traits.

    While Logan was still observing the halves, Patton managed to get up and stumble to him, falling into him grabbing his shirt before he fell to the floor.

    “Y-You need to help me… They can’t remember this. They can’t remember what I did to them!” He pleaded, looking the other man right in the eyes. “A-And we need to figure out what to do with… him…” He then glanced at the more disturbing looking half.

    Logan felt bad, which was new, but Patton was right. If they remembered what Patton did, it wouldn’t end well. Also, something did have to be done with the two new sides anyway. 

    He gently nudged Patton off and carefully helped him sit onto the floor so he wouldn’t fall down. Then he goes over to the now fully formed sides and crouches next to them.

    “...They’re gonna need names you know…” He said. There was silence between the two before Logan finally spoke up again. “...I think Romulus and Remus are adequate names for them. Romulus shall be the one in white while Remus is the… more disturbing one…”

    Patton had to think about it for a moment, all while still trying to calm himself down, and nodded at the name suggestions. 

    “I think those are good names… But, Romulus is a bit much, don’t you think? How about just Roman?” 

    “Well, Romulus named his city Rome, so I suppose Roman shall suffice.” Logan agreed. “Now, Patton, I would suggest you go to your room to calm down. I’ll… figure out what to do from here. You’ve done enough today.”

    “...No. Let me at least finish what I started.” Logan looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. “I know what to do with Remus. Just… figure out how to wipe their memories and I’ll handle the rest.” 

    Normally Logan wouldn’t want Patton to handle anything by himself, especially after this mess, but something told him this was an argument he wouldn’t win, so he allowed it.

    Nothing would be the same ever again.

    The king was gone forever.

    All that was left was the Prince and the Duke.

    ...Interestingly enough, the painting Mars was working on depicted an army of red exiting a castle to face an army of green, coming from a tower.