#i would have three children

[yourlazykitkat]

azris wip

“I can’t,” Azriel fumed, disgust settling over his body like dust in a forgotten home, “I can’t leave you alone.”

Good, Eris thinks hysterically, I’ve never wanted to be alone. “That hardly seems like my problem.”

And then, because Eris Vanserra is a selfish creature, he touches the skin- too cold- below Azriel’s left ear, fascinated by the shiver that follows. Icy repulsion is etched in the shadowsinger's stone face, similar to when the youngest Acheron sister had anxiously fretted over his wounds, when the Ilyrian’s sworn brothers had held him for warmth. But unlike them, there was no sudden uproar to try scare Eris away, no aggressive physicality to draw a line between them. Perhaps the shadowsinger already understood that if there were such a line, Eris would’ve pushed and pulled and pushed till he owned every space which Azriel left behind, left untouched. 

Why the man had surrendered to his touch and his alone- the thought made Eris giddy. Undeserving. Eris swallows inexplicable emotion as the wretched sight of Azriel, ashened and queasy, makes him let go.

A desperate whimper and suddenly, the shadowsinger is too close. His face is riddled with horror and shame, eyes wide as if he hadn’t understood what he had just done or why.

The Autumn Prince’s lips stretch wickedly and his hands return to their sanctum. There's a tightening ache in his own chest, “Are you brave enough to tell me why you want this? Is it simply solace from the cold?”

“Eris-”

And then, because Eris Vanserra is a cruel creature, he casts his fingertips alight with flame as he presses them into frozen skin like snubbing a cigar into an ash-tray. Azriel gasps, pain taut in his beautiful eyes. He shakes in anger but for all his protest and drama, he stays exactly where Eris can hurt him. 

“Good boy,” He coos, mean laughter escaping him when the trembling man glares at him- spiteful, humiliated, piercing. In mockery of an apology, Eris blows hot air on the pink blisters with his other hand on Azriel’s waist- locking the other in place. He shudders when the Ilyrian moans. Eris is tempted to kiss the skin a breath below his lips, deliberating between sadism, in which he wishes to see Azriel’s pained face when he’s kissed, and mercy- a dull knife to put a messy end to the shadowsinger's conundrum. Inexplicable emotion rises in his throat like bile.

“Put some ointment on those,” Eris says, stepping back. His fingertips are cold and sore now and he smirks before turning away, “Or don’t.”

[moeblob]

New farmer (for 1.6 update reasons).

His name is Death and he's really death. He's pretty quiet and just wants to live in peace with his chickens. Tries to interact with the town as little as possible but is really curious about them and how they live and is super satisfied to simply watch them - but as the new person it seems no one wants to let that happen.

[triglycercule]

nightmare viewing the murder time three as little toys but more in like a little spoiled kid kinda way. because it would be funny and if you take into the account that he was like 6 before getting corrupted and do some mental loopholes it would be even funnier. like these are his dolls (killer dust and horror) and this is their barbie dreamhouse (his castle). they all have to stay in one room because nightmare needs to keep his toys in a toy box. the toys only ever come out when he wants to play but oh damn it they keep on breaking out!! silly toys,,, and then he locks them into the room again.

nightmare serves them food with plastic tea cups and plastic plates and there is no food. there is no tea. they have to imagine the food because dolls can't literally eat. there are food containers and stuff in the house but its all just a bunch of empty boxes. horror starts tweaking out after he scavenges the kitchen and finds a cereal box and milk carton that have NOTHING in it (why keep empty boxes?????)

they have to go where he wants them to go. nightmare gets to dress them up in whatever he wants because theyre his dolls they can wear anything he wants. it gets incredibly embarrassing when the trio is forced to wear pink pretty dresses and fight like that. or they have to go around the castle doing stupid fucking roleplays and it gets weird because theyre being forced to reenact a bullying scene and nightmare's giving them the death stare if they don't get it right (is this projection. this must be some form of coping mechanism dust theorizes)

and then you know nightmare's not exactly the best toy owner so he loses a few of his dolls here and there. maybe they get destroyed when he was playing a bit too rough with them! (killer dies in battle for like the 29th time) but its okay because he can just go back on down to the store (something new) and buy. wait no. steal another doll and then put it back in his dreamhouse and BOOM he has a full set again!! so sweet so cute. his dolls don't have consciousness what are you talking about theyre begging to be let go?? that's all just your imagination. what do you mean you're asking about the several slowly dying bodies with removed arms or legs in his dungeon. oh that's just where the broken but not yet destroyed toys go dw theyre fine its humane

[spasikonik]

hii this is my first post i've never used tumblr before !!!

[secondbeatsongs]

I genuinely don't know how people survive without earplugs

[backpackingspace]

Okay but consider by the time the odysseus is baby girling himself during suffering, it's been very well established that he is the distraction/talk their way out of trouble friend. So eurylochus who has probably been putting up with this nonsense since they were children was going no no this is 100% normal just ignore it. While the crew (who was just random subjects yes?) Was going what the fuck what the fuck

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

[zhimaqiu]

if they don't spoon in the show i'm just going to make them do that myself

[cosmosnout]

Dimitri would be an incredible dad I’m so convinced of it

[cauls-antique-pepperbox-pistol]

Would love to have that first time reading experience again with the MPHFPC books, but that would require me to forget about everything that happened and everything I’ve made up about the story and characters, so actually never mind, that sounds terrible

[yuridovewing]

Definitely a little controversial but tbh I'm a "Crowfeather would have been a bad dad to the three if he and Leafpool succeeded in running or if he knew about them" truther.

[mediumsizedpidegon]

The Naruto timeline is killing me. I know the general idea is that it’s been ~60 years since Konoha formed but everyone’s talking like Konoha has existed for forever.

It doesn't make sense! Tsunade is in her 50s in canon! she shouldn't talk about Konoha like it was well established when she was a child! By saying Tsunade is Hashirama's granddaughter instead of his daughter, we must interpret that Hashirama had a child like. a decade before Konoha formed, so that when Konoha is 10, Tsunade is born. But that's BATSHIT. that means anyone older than sixty– an age even front line shinobi can reach as evidenced by Hiruzen, and surely an age shinobi that specialize in skills that are less directly combative/take them out of the village often, MUCH LESS CIVILIANS!! You cannot make propaganda good enough to make an entire generation of senior citizens forget that your honorable village hasn't even hit a century.

There is such a big deal made of Hiruzen remembering a time before Konoha and so you expect him to be like. late 80s or 90s. old enough to makes him recalling that time suitably rare. old enough that every shinobi is like. wow. you're hot shit and also God Of Shinobi. But he's SIXTY EIGHT. Sakura's civilian grandparents probably remember a time before Konoha. This is not that big of a accomplishment. I don't care if Kishimoto thinks 60 years is a long ass time to a shinobi. It just doesn't work for the sort of worldbuilding he's trying to sell.

My only options are to either stretch the timeline to fit the vibes of "Konoha has been around soooooo long (while still be relatively new in the grand scheme of things)" or scrap all that "Konoha is ancient" shit.

......So. I’ve stretched it to Konoha being formed 100 years ago when canon starts (the year Naruto graduates the Academy). This is more reasonable, making it so that no one alive really Remembers A Time Before, making Konoha's propaganda much more effective.

This, however, has had some significant impact on Hiruzen's generation because even though I have made them significantly older when canon starts (like. mid 80s) they were still born about ~20 years after Konoha was founded. Early enough that some instability was around and Hiruzen's generation could personally know Hashirama and Tobirama, but they don't actually have any experience living through the Warring Clans Era. This has likewise made the Sannin much much older– around the same age as Hiruzen actually is in canon.

But Tsunade's age actually makes sense for her being Hashirama's granddaughter now! So there's that!

[thedawningofthehour]

I was thinking more about how Yokai life stages are so different from ours and what kind of effect that would have on everything else. Like, if we assume their life cycles is similar to that of a human, just on a much longer scale, then a Yokai could be in their 'child-bearing years' for literally centuries. (I mean, it all depends on the Yokai and the life cycle of their source DNA and how much they inherited from that, but assuming most of them are more human-like) And their kids do take slightly longer to mature, but not by that much.

I've already figured that there's much less of a push to get people having babies as soon as they can-they've got so much time, and especially since Yokai are generally healthier and less susceptible to disease they're expecting most of those kids to survive to adulthood. That would just be a lot of babies, and rapid population growth would really put a strain on resources. So even though Yokai are legal adults at 20 and probably reach sexual maturity around the same time as humans, having kids before you're a century old is considered super early. Like, Bella is 45, and she would practically be considered a teen mother if she had a kid now. "You're not even fifty yet, oh my god, you haven't lived! You need time on your own to figure out who you are!" (ironically, there are kids she went to school with who are grandparents now)

But anyway, considering the baby-having window is so wide and Yokai kids don't take that long to grow up, I feel like it would be the norm to have one, maybe two kids and then raise them to adulthood before having the next. That way you're not splitting your attention between a bunch of kids and can devote all your energy and resources into the one you're working on right now. Then once the kid is a young adult and doesn't really need to be actively parented anymore, then they can move onto the next one.

This also makes Draxum's decision to mutate and raise four mutant children at once even more unhinged.

[thebad-lydrawn-sanses]

Thoughts on each other + The random users who've appeared in the blog

*Sits and waits patiently in a corner :>*

Killer: welll… boss is the easiest! he's nice but also fun to mess with. dust is grumpy and would rather sleep, and ax is too patient. he makes good food too. cross is the easiest to mess with, but he's too sensitive and i have to hold back to not hurt his feelings in a way that actually matters… Killer: the askers are super funny too! Horror: well, Boss helped me feel more comfortable existing, gave me and my brother a place to stay. i like Dust, even though i have to remind him to eat- at least with Cross, he'll eat something even if i leave him alone. Killer- Horror: Horror: …usually, i'd just refer to him like an annoying little kid, but right now i really just wish he was just less fuckin' reckless (and stupid) Horror: (the askers are okay, i guess) Dust: Nightmare's the boss- and saved me from Error, so he's alright. Horror feels… safe, almost, but Cross is more like a coworker. Killer really needs to learn how to shut the fuck up, though. The askers are alright- though, there are probably better things we could do with our time. Killer: like napping? Dust: …maybe Killer: snrk Cross: boss and coworkers. askers are fine Nightmare: Dust is the favorite (of course), Horror comes a close second… Nightmare: (the askers are a good way for all of them to get social contact outside of each other)

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Me, faced with a shiny new story idea: Save it for the Inklings Challenge, save it for the Inklings Challenge, please save it for the Inklings Challenge, I'm begging you please save it for the Inklings Challenge