#i wrote all day but it wasn't working for me

[ladymarvel27]

Frazzle 🎀 Carlos Sainz

Carlos Sainz x Reader

Series Master List

Description: Can he return on time for the date?

f1 masterlist

“But why?” You almost shout out.

“This,” he opens his phone and shows you the message of details, “an event is today, and a meeting tomorrow.”

“I waited two weeks for this date!” You sat down on the edge of the bed, throwing your hands in the air frustrated. “TWO WEEKS!”

“Don’t worry. It’s just a small event. I will try to return by evening, okay?” He assures, placing his hand on your shoulder. You don’t say anything, your head hanging low. He lifts your chin and holds your gaze, “I promise you, I will be back on time.” You softly nod. “Now let’s get your dress before you leave for work, huh?” A small smile makes its way to your face.

The dress he got you hangs neatly in your wardrobe-Pink in colour. You lined up other accessories, a pair of earrings and a necklace to see how they look with it. Your phone dings.

Princess, how are you? He had messaged you.

Yeah, just returned, you? You replied.

Just attending this boring event.

Looks like you’re not enjoying.

Missing you so much me reina, he sends.

I am also missing you, my bear, you texted

Btw I have made dinner for you, check in the refrigerator.

Oh. You went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. You smiled when you saw an airtight container with a sticky note attached, ‘Dinner for you, Senorita’, and a kiss emoji next to it.

Thank you, Senor, you messaged him.

He sends a kiss emoji

Enjoy the dinner amor, going to dinner too, adios, He wrote.

Adios, my love, you replied and closed your phone.

After doing all your chores, you lay on the bed.

Going to sleep, you ate? He messaged.

Yeah, thanks for the dinner, I was too tired, the message was sent, received and read immediately. You smiled.

Few seconds later, he replies, Mention not mi amor

Btw, when will you return?

I have a meeting tomorrow, I will return by evening.

Good to hear.

It will be like the first date. I will pick you up from your home, bring you flowers, see the sunset together and couple dance to your favourite song.

So romantic, aha, you giggle as you write, remembering his old Renault interview. You send him a gif:

😂😂😂, he replies.

How was the event?

Ah, it was boring, but it was important for sponsorship. How was your day?

Yeah, fine, but I am exhausted.

You should go to sleep.

Yeah, I am in bed.

Good.

Goodnight, bear.

Goodnight, princess.

You closed your phone and placed it on the nightstand. You looked around the room, taking in everything. You smiled to yourself, excited for tomorrow's date. Your hand reached for the table lamp’s switch, you turned it off and went to sleep.

The next day, you returned in the early evening to get ready.

Got the flight, will reach by 7, he had texted you few minutes before.

Have a safe journey, you texted, but the message wasn't received by the other end. ‘He is in flight, it’s obvious’, you thought. Your stomach rumbles. You placed the phone on a charger and went to eat something.

You open the refrigerator to take out the face pack you will use. The water bottles were looking at you, but you ignored them. You didn’t want to go to the washroom in between. Leave them. Half an hour later, you come out of the shower and put on your dress. You put on some music while grooming yourself. You hummed to the music looking in the mirror. You weren’t a master, so you only put on a little so that it won’t ruin your look. You applied the finishing lipstick and pouted in front of the mirror. An hour later, you got ready. You decided to open your phone. The message was still not received. You looked at the clock. It was half past seven.

Carlos, where are you??? You messaged him. ‘What happened? Has he again gone missing like on Tuesday?’ You thought.

You sat on the couch and waited, but the message wasn't even reaching him. You tried calling him several times, but the bell wasn’t ringing. You put on your flats and went outside. Maybe he wanted to surprise you. But no signs of him. It was so hot, but you were still standing. Your throat felt dry. After it became intolerable, you went inside, to the balcony instead.

Your eyes roamed all over the neighbourhood, looking for his car if it was approaching. Your body was drying up, but you seemed to ignore it. You were already tense about Carlos. He wasn’t picking up calls, and your messages weren’t reaching him. You called his parents, but they seemed to come across the same problem. He wasn’t ignoring you. The calls weren’t reaching him.

The streetlights were suddenly turned on, blinding you. Your head felt heavy. You held the railing, trying to support yourself as you sat on the floor against the balcony. You tried getting up, but your steps staggered as you slumped on the floor.

Seperators credit: @saradika-graphics @saradika

Taglist: @faithshouseofchaos @itsjustvs4

[joeyalohadream]

Hi me again.

I saw your post about how you received a negative anon message and was hoping you didn’t mean me? I sent you an ask about how much I loved your clegan childhood best friends idea (like literally can’t stop thinking about it) and just suggested that you could give the idea to another great writer in the fandom. I think it’s just as cool to be the idea maker sometimes and I wasnt insulting you.

I really do love your writing but you do take a long time to post new stuff and that particular idea is just everything to me so I don’t want it to be in limbo.

like you posted a bit of an angsty story the other day and got people excited and now you haven’t mentioned it again. Just don’t want that to happen to the childhood story cause it’s such a good idea.

sorry for rambling I just had to come back and say sorry if I’m the anon that made you feel bad. Wasn’t my intention..

Sorry everyone that reads this but I'm taking some of Swifty's backbone for a minute and answering a negative anon. Hiding my response below the cut so you can scroll past without seeing my drama if you'd like...

---

Of course it was your message that I was referring to.

In this fandom, full of the most wonderfully kind people I've ever interacted with, your message was the only negative one I've ever received. The fact that you could send that message, and now this one and somehow not understand that you're being incredibly hurtful is beyond me.

I wasn't going to respond to this message at all, just like I didn't respond to the first one you sent (just flat out deleted that one), but someone posted about my 'childhood friends au' today and brought it all back.

I checked out library books for research for that story and wrote the most detailed outline of any story I've ever thought up. And after your message, I returned the books and scrapped the story because you made me feel like garbage.

You flat out told me to give my idea to a specific writer in the Mota fandom that would 'turn it into a masterpiece'. You and I can agree on the fact that the writer you mentioned is one of the most talented fanfic writers around. They are. But to be so blatantly rude to me about my own writing and to call it 'advice'? Come on. You have to know you're being an asshole.

I'm a kind person. I'm also sensitive and hate confrontation and it even makes my stomach hurt to respond to this message because I don't like being unkind to ANYONE. I work two jobs. I work 60 hours a week most weeks. The fact that I find time to write anything is something I'm proud of and you calling me 'inconsistent' is just absolutely unempathetic.

Since you keep choosing to remain anonymous, this is the only way I can know I reach you to tell you this:

If you follow me, unfollow me. Don't interact with my posts. Don't read my stories. And stay the hell out of my inbox.

[xxchumanixx]

Hiii! If its not much trouble could I request a tim Bradford and reader fic where she's really shy and sensitive, but still diligent at work and his rookie? He usually had a soft spot for her bcs he has a crush on her but she messes up a case and gets yell at by him?? Calls her a crybaby and all?? But later he comforts her and confesses? Maybe she thinks he likes lucy up until that point?? Just a lot of angst filled with pining and fluff! Thanks sm and I love your workk💕

Headrush

Tim Bradford x fem!reader

Warnings/Tags: language! (Shut up, Steve), fluff, hurt, angst

Word count: 2.523

Authors note: Oh my god, it's been so long, I'm so sorry! Thank you a lot for your request! I really liked the idea and I hope you'll like how I wrote it.

Lots of love! ❤️

Please, as always

Enjoy!

"Shit, shit, shit!" you cursed under your breath, biting your lip as your fingers anxiously fiddled with the belt on your hips.

This was not how this case was supposed to go.

Not at all.

It was like a damn domino effect - one thing went down the hill, and so did the rest one after another.

A whole fucking shitshow.

That your suspect was lying dead on the street was just the cherry on top.

He had tried to run from you, not watching where he went. You tried to warn him, yelled that he should watch out, when a car hit him, and sent him flying over the street.

Tim stood beside you, eyes wide and mouth agape, not really believing what he saw. He wasn't sure whether to yell at you, comfort you, or just get back in the car.

He gritted his teeth, hands balling into fists. He usually was softer with you, than he was with other rookies he had.

You just didn't know that he harbored feelings for you that went far beyond being your TO.

A conflicting thing, really.

"You-" he started, cutting himself off, eyes flying over the scene. The dead man on the floor, the shocked civilians all around you.

The poor woman that drove the car that hit the man.

The ambulance covered the man with a sheet, calling the coroner.

That was what snapped him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tim spoke up, rasing his voice as he looked down at you. "What the hell did you think?" You flinched at his tone, some of your usual shyness and sensitivity shining through.

Tim bit his cheek, so hard he almost drew blood.

He felt bad, sorry even.

To yell at you was one of the things he wanted the least, but he had no other choice if he wanted you to be successful.

At least, that's what he told himself.

"Sir, I-" you wanted to defend yourself, but he didn't let you. Once he was in that stage of rage, it was hard to see an escape through the fog.

"No, of course you did not!" he went on, the look on his face both terrifying and breaking you.

To ever think you'd stand a chance with the man yelling down at you seemed like the stupidest thing in the world suddenly.

"How could you let him get this far?" he continued to rage, seemingly not caring about the people around you that started to watch the commotion. "You should have stopped him!"

You swallowed, a bitter pill you'd forced upon yourself by letting the suspect get this far. That you'd fallen pretty badly along the way, most likely spraining your ankle, wasn't important anymore.

Who knew if he'd even seen it?

"I- I'm sorry." you breathed out, doing your best not to lose your face in front of him. The day had started bad, and it got worse the longer it went on. "I shouldn't have let him get this far."

Tim scoffed, hands fisting his belt as he looked around you. "I shouldn't have let you handle this on your own." he spoke, voice a mix of regret and spite. "I should have known better."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut.

You knew you were ready, and damn he knew it, too. Mistakes were normal, no matter how long you were doing the job already. But with your last week as a rookie rolling around, he pushed you more and more beyond your limits.

You felt tears burn in your eyes, the ugly tugging sensation in your jaw when you tried your very best to hold them back.

But Tim had already seen them.

His head tilted in disbelief, eyes widening before they narrowed.

Not a good sign.

"Are you gonna cry?" he asked, voice full of disbelief. "Are you kidding me? What are you? A fucking crybaby?"

Told you so.

You cleared your throat, cheeks burning in shame.

"No, no, of course not." you mumbled, trying to steady your voice. Tim tilted his head more, sending you a look that told you to repeat yourself. "No, I'm not crying." you repeated louder, looking up at him.

To say his behavior hurt was an understatement.

"Get in the car." he hissed, motioning at the shop. You nodded, doing as he told you without protesting.

It wouldn't have done you any good, anyway.

Moral of the story suddenly played in your head, and you couldn't help but think how right Ashe was, as you climbed into the passengers seat.

You had learned a lot about Tim the last year, yet he surprised you with how cold and harsh he was right now.

You should have never let your stupid crush get out of hand like this. Maybe to be hurt like this, to be talked down by him like that - maybe that was your moral of the story.

Like they said: Never fuck the company.

Not that you and Tim had gotten physically close somehow, but that didn't stop your mind from imagining sometimes.

You just were glad you experienced him like this before anything could have happened.

Not that you had much faith in that, anyway.

____

You let out a sigh, as you finally made your way out of the station.

It had been a long day, maybe the longest of your life. After driving back you had to wait before being questioned about the incident. It went on for nearly two hours, in which they decided you weren't responsible for the suspects death.

Yes, he had run from you, but it was his own decision, and you had tried to warn him.

You body-cam proofed it.

You hadn't seen Tim since you'd gotten out of the shop, silently thankful for it.

You didn't know if you'd been able to endure another round of his scolding today without actually breaking down.

Seeing Lucy though, only pressed on your sore nerves more. Yes, you liked her as a friend, but the thought that Tim seemed head over heels for her warred with that.

Only a fool wouldn't see.

The cold night air hit your skin, effectively cooling it down and clearing your head a little. You hoped to get home and fall in bed, only waking up again when you would have forgotten this day.

But someone seemed to have other plans.

"Y/N, wait!" he called out after you, and you only then noticed that his car was still in the almost empty parking lot.

You debated whether to ignore him, act like you didn't hear, but your consciousness said otherwise. You turned around as he stopped in front of you, silently cursing yourself for being such a good person.

He seemed at a loss for words for a moment, lips parted, like he didn't expect you to actually wait. "Listen," he then started, brows furrowing slightly as his gaze drifted away for a brief second. "I didn't mean to be so harsh on you back there."

You frowned, blinking a few times in confusion. Was he a-

"I'm sorry."

You didn't know what to say, now at a loss for words yourself. "I- i'ts okay." you then said after finding your voice, biting your cheek. "You lectured me, and it's not like it wasn't justified, sir."

He gritted his teeth, you could see even in the dim streetlight.

"No, that was too harsh." he gave back, shaking his head, frown deepened. "It wasn't your fault he was hit by the car. You tried to warn him and he didn't listen."

You pushed your bottom lip forward, not sure where his sudden change in mood came from. "Look, sir-" you started, but he cut you off. "Stop that." he demanded, the frown on his face bordering on angry now.

Your lips parted in confusion, not sure what you did wrong now.

"Stop calling me sir." he said. "We both know that's needless. It's not like- I mean, you're one week away from becoming a p2. We both know you'll make it with flying colors. Call me Tim."

He was selfish, he knew it.

But if it meant he'd hear his name from your mouth even once, he'd do anything. He didn't know yet if you'd choose to stay after graduation, and he'd have to take what he got.

He was in way too deep.

You swallowed before you nodded, gaze meeting the ground. Your teeth maltreated your cheek, not sure how to react.

"I've never- I've never seen a dead person like this before." you suddenly spoke, looking back up at him. "I didn't know where my head was, and you yelled at me. I was overwhelmed."

It just bubbled out of you. Maybe the dim lighting made you bolder.

"That's not me." you continued, shaking your head. "I- I'm tidily, I always make sure to give my best, it just-" Without you noticing, tears formed in the corners of your eyes, and you gasped for air.

Tim's own eyes widened, as he realized you were about to panic.

He closed the distance, wrapping his arms around you.

It was pure instinct, every nerve in him telling him to hug you, to comfort you.

To not make him see you cry.

He couldn't.

"It's okay." he spoke softly, as your fingers fisted the material of his jacket. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

You couldn't help the tears from flowing, not when he held you like this, doing his best to make you feel better.

"I should have known." you sobbed, pushing the shame for crying onto his jacket aside for now. "I wasn't ready."

He shooed you, one hand carding through your hair.

He knew if someone saw you two, this would have ended badly.

But he couldn't bring himself to care.

"You are ready." he gave back. "More than ready. I've seen you out there, you always have yourself under control. You're diligent, something that not every rookie is. You may be shy, and maybe a bit sensitive, but that's something good. You know how to talk to people, you understand them. And I know this wasn't your fault. You did your absolute best, and that's exactly what I told them back there."

You swallowed, cheeks heating up at his words.

You didn't expect him to be so open and soft with you.

"You- you really think that?" you asked, sniffing as the tears slowly subsided. He chuckled softly. "God, you have no clue." he mumbled, gaze flitting over the dark parking lot.

You frowned, not sure what he meant. But before you could have asked, he continued on his own.

"I'm not good at this emotional stuff." he said with a huff. "But you are. And I'm grateful for it, I really am, because I learned to get better at it, because of you. And I'm supposed to be the TO here, not you."

You chuckled, not having expected him to learn something from you whilst training you.

"You should talk to Lucy, then." you suggested, the thought jabbing at your heart. But if he wanted her, he'd be prepared for the emotional talk now, then.

Tim frowned, looking down at you with confusion. He gently pushed you away enough to look in your eyes.

"What do you mean?" he wanted to know, trying to make out what you were telling him. Your cheeks heated up, but you knew there was no turning back now.

Might as well reap what you've sown by digging into his personal life.

"I mean that you can tell her how you feel if you're better at emotional stuff now." you explained, doing your best to look encouraging. He scoffed a laugh, nose crinkling slightly. "Wait, you think I-" he started, but cut himself off with another laugh.

You frowned, suddenly feeling uncertain. "Yes, I mean-" you wanted to explain yourself, but he cut you off, hands on your arms as he leaned a bit down to look into your eyes. "No." he said firmly, a grin on his lips. "I'm not in love with Lucy."

The thought almost seemed absurd to him.

Why would he want Lucy when you were here, standing right in front of him?

Your frown deepened, thoughts running a million miles a minute. "Wait, you're not?" you asked, voice carrying a hint of disbelief and maybe relief. He laughed under his breath, shaking his head. "No." he confirmed. "I'm not."

Silence hung between you like a heavy fog, only broken by a huff leaving your lips. "Well, I'm not as good at reading people as I thought I am." you mumbled, biting your cheek.

He shrugged as if to say I noticed. "If you were you would have known I don't want Lucy." he said, empathizing her name.

You cocked a brow, looking up at him again. "What do you mean?"

He sent you a smile that sent your heart into a frenzy, and for a moment, you thought you'd have a headrush. "I mean," he began, eyes wandering over your face. "That I can't wait for you to be a p2."

You felt dumb.

"Tim-" you started, but cut yourself off, as realization suddenly hit you like a freight train. "Wait, what?"

He chuckled, a sound that seared its way into your brain the first time you'd heard it. "Yes." he confirmed. "I don't want Lucy, because I already want you, Y/N."

It felt like the night sky had decided to let all it's lucky stars rain down on you at once.

A mix of emotions rushed through you, and you felt like you'd actually have a headrush.

"What- How?" you stammered, words escaping your brain. "I- I mean, why me? Why not her?"

Tim cocked a brow at your words. He knew you'd say something like that, a clear sign of how well he knew you by now. "Because you're you." he said. "Because you care. You're smart, funny, cute. You are a good cop, and I couldn't ask for more in a person than you already are. I don't want Lucy, because I'm not interested in her the way that I'm interested in you."

You inhaled shakily, his words like a balm to your wounded heart.

"And if you'd let me, I'd like to take you out once you're officially a p2." he added with hope shining in his bright eyes.

A smile spread your lips at his words. "I'd love to go out with you, Tim." you gave back, causing his own smile to grow.

His eyes fell to the smile on your lips, and suddenly he cared even less about the open space of the parking lot.

"Can I kiss you?" he wanted to know, eyes finding their way back to yours.

Your smile widened, and you nodded. "You can."

It was delicate the way he pressed his lips to yours, like petals of a flower. One hand snaked its way into your hair, cupping the back of your head to pull you closer. Your own hands gripped his jacket, anchoring you.

It was all you could have wished for.

And suddenly, the headrush wasn't so unpleasant anymore.

Tag List:

@newobsessionweekly @laheysfilm @dhundhchrih @augustvandyne @rookietrek @nachofriess @dtftheavengers @wonderland2425 @freyathehuntress @skywalker0809

[superpyodan]

This is a silly little thing I wrote of @clarisinne's Cringefail Farmer, my Kenny, and The Harvey Debacle™️. Seeing the fanarts inspired me but I wasn't in the mood to draw, so now this exists. It's very self-indulgent (because i am Obsessed with cringefail) but PLEASE... enjoy...

—————

‘’And then,’’ Clarice says, flinging her arms into the air dramatically, ‘’I felt his dick on my leg!’’

Kenny stops dead in his tracks and turns to look at Clarice, comically slowly. Really, he should have been expecting it. She asked him to go out for a ‘walk’, and despite how uncharacteristic it was, Kenny assumed she meant well. It’s a nice day — Maybe she just wanted to get some fresh air, or a break from her farm work. But, she hasn’t stopped talking about Harvey since the second she and Kenny locked eyes. Even when she’s not talking about Harvey directly, he still drips from her words.

‘’Okay? That’s- That’s good though, right? Or bad? Honestly, it’s hard to tell, with you.’’

‘’Uh, bad, obviously. Like - What the fuck do I do about that?’’ Clarice asks. She’s obviously flustered, but hiding it under a thick layer of feigned irritation. Usually, she’s feisty. A firework on the brink of explosion, a person born from the embers of a campfire. Her emotions don’t come out gently, and being abrasive is not something she shies away from. Kenny has seen this exact type of person a million and one times, and there is no way he’d believe that Clarice genuinely believes that she is in a bad situation. Difficult, maybe even a little embarrassing, but not bad.

‘’Was your real motivation for asking me to hang out, to ask for sex advice?’’ Kenny inquires, squinting a little. He figures it’s better to rip the band-aid off instead of dancing around the subject. With Clarice’s temperament, they’d get nowhere doing the latter.

Immediately, she goes bright red, a defensive look spreading across her face. Her instinct, Kenny assumes, is to immediately deny. They’re just friends, hanging out, and talking about friend stuff — Until they’re not. Something Kenny’s been forced to learn over the years is that sometimes, you need other people. Even if it’s embarrassing, or awkward to talk about, you need other people. He can be ‘other people’ for Clarice, if only she’d admit she actually wants help.

‘’Fuck no. Obviously not. I’m just- I’m just saying!’’ She exclaims, just as Kenny expected. So, he holds his palm up to her, preventing a continuation.

‘’No. If you want to talk about this, we can.’’ He assures. Clarice looks straight at him, frantic eyes transitioning into a softness, defensiveness turning into quiet nerves. Quickly, her intentions become clear. She did want to talk about it.

Clarice sighs, and collapses cross-legged into the grass. Kenny shuffles a little then lowers himself to sit in front of her, their knees touching.

‘’I tried to talk to Shane,’’ Clarice starts, ‘’But he was useless. He wanted nothing to do with it.’’

‘’Uh, yeah. Shane’s great at emotional support, but… Yeah. He’d never in a million years discuss sex with anyone. He caught me and Alex making out once and almost killed us and then himself.’’ Kenny reminisces, and it makes Clarice laugh.

‘’Do you fucking know what he said? He was like, ‘I wasn’t even aware Harvey had a dick before all this’, and then started yelling. And then I was yelling, and it was chaos, and I’m never fucking talking to him about anything ever again.’’ She explains, much chirpier than she was while telling the Harvey story. That’s the thing with Clarice — It’s important to match her energy. If Kenny doesn’t make it weird and awkward, she won’t either.

So, he giggles along with her, leaning back on his hands and allowing the sun to hit his face. ‘’Right, well, I’m not gonna yell at you. So, like.. Shoot. I know I seem kind of lame, but I do have experience under my belt, especially with men. Excuse the pun.’’

Clarice grins up at Kenny, before closing her eyes and taking a deep and contemplative breath. It’s a little strange, but he’s grateful that she’s willing to confide in him about something so personal. Sure, he doesn’t know Harvey very well. He can be a bit of a mess, and just as anxious as she is. If Clarice doesn’t get anything productive out of the conversation, at least she will have spoken. For Kenny, that’s good enough. He understands the importance of being able to get things off one’s chest.

‘’I just… Ugh. I don’t know how to go about this situation with him! I haven’t been in a relationship for so long, and like… I really like him. What if it gets ruined if we have sex? What if he thinks I’m a loser?’’ Clarice rambles a little, stumbling over her words, a dust of pink sprinkled over her cheeks. Kenny, however, furrows his eyebrows.

‘’Uh, dude. He got hard just from kissing you. I don’t think you need to worry about him thinking you’re a loser.’’

‘’Men are just like that, though! They’re easily entertained!’’ Clarice retaliates.

‘’Yeah, exactly. If anything, he’s the loser. Men are losers. You’re cool and pretty and literally don’t need to worry about any of that. As for the other stuff, though…’’ Kenny trails off, allowing himself a moment to really think through what he’s going to say. Sensitive subject, sensitive words.

For a moment, he thinks back to the beginning of his relationship with Alex, trying to pull inspiration and advice from that. he was cautious — Terrified of making Alex uncomfortable, terrified of something going disastrously wrong. But, neither of those things happened. They fell into each other very naturally, eventually throwing caution to the wind and exploring each other in a way that suited them both. It seems to have been the way in every relationship Kenny’s had.

‘’I think having sex with someone is something that just, kinda… Naturally happens, over time. If you feel the need to discuss it first, you will. If it just randomly ends up happening, as long as you’re both comfortable, then so be it. Just, go with each other’s flow, you know? I bet Harvey’s nervous about it too, but you guys will come around. It’ll work. And if it doesn’t, then you can just try again. God knows me and Alex had some blunders at first.’’ Kenny says, trying his best to articulate himself well. Clarice nods thoughtfully, but Kenny’s advice isn’t quite enough.

‘’But what do guys even like? I haven’t had sex in so long. What if I’ve forgotten how?’’

He tries to suppress it, but Clarice’s question makes Kenny laugh. Amusement born from love, but amusement nonetheless.

‘’Uh, you definitely haven’t forgotten how to have sex. You forget that humans have been having sex since literally the beginning of our existence. For most of us, it’s pretty hard-wired. You just need to get to know him, explore your options, even ask him straight-up. Genuinely — You’ll figure it out. I know you’re shitting yourself about it now, but, I can promise you with almost one-hundred percent certainty that it’ll be okay. Good, even.’’

Clarice unties the ribbon from her braid, then starts re-braiding it in silence, giving herself a moment to let Kenny’s words truly seep into her brain. It seems to be working — Visually, she’s less tense. Her face is softer, and her shoulders aren’t attached to her ears anymore. Kenny knows that his advice isn’t going to magically absolve her of her anxieties, but if her body language is anything to go by, it’s managed to absolve something. Something is better than nothing.

‘’So, what you’re saying, is that I need to get over myself.’’ Clarice concludes, retying the ribbon in her hair. Kenny smiles at her.

‘’Well — Maybe a little bit. It’s normal to be nervous, but like… I genuinely think you’ll be okay. And if you’re not, you know where to find me, yeah? And please. If you guys do have sex, I want to know all about it.’’

‘’Pervert.’’ Clarice remarks playfully. ‘’But, yeah. Thank you, Kenny. Seriously.’’

‘’Of course. Any time.’’ Kenny replies, soft and sincere.

[rocknrollsalad]

rocknrollsalad’s Steve Harrington Bingo Masterpost

Free Space; “Five Times Steve Refused to Acknowledge His Crush + One Time It Was Unavoidable";  Steddie; Link

A1 & Jonathan defends Steve; “Life is Very Short and There's No Time For Fussing and Fighting, My Friend″;  Link

A2 & King Steve; "For a Bountiful Harvest (and Reprieve From Social Circles)"; pre-steddie; Link

tagging @steveharringtonbingo

[tenok]

.

[jotchia]

RELEASE THE MILF CUT

[dingo-saurus]

it's been 4~ weeks of CPAP trialing (i think) and i have hung out with my best friend more often than i have in 5 years, i've been chatting to another old old best friend frequently and chatting to THEIR loved ones and friends a little too. and i'm not anxious out of my mind about it - in fact i reached out and started a couple DM convos that went well. i've been writing again a little. doodled a mech. i've been showering every few days rather than every few weeks. i've been dancing to myself in my room while i do Tasks (and i'm *doing tasks*. i *vacuumed* and i *cleaned my bathroom*), listening to music more often In General. almost constantly. i started tentatively trying to build up strength in my muscles again and there's already a huge difference - i'm not struggling at all when lifting my paint station anymore, it's light. my legs stopped trembling when i go down stairs. i helped carry heavy groceries inside no problem. using my standing desk for more than an hour is comfortable. my sex drive is starting to return in bits and pieces. i'm pushing my limits slowly and carefully because i know how hard overexerting myself can hit me fatigue-wise. but i haven't been hit yet. i'm still just... fine

jesus christ i was fucked up huh

[theputterer]

good news all. my parents think I should be a writer. lol

[rubberbandballqueen]

a kid at work was like "look at my stuffed animal!!" and i was like "ooooo" bc i love soft things n then she was like "would you like to hold it?" n i was like "BOY WOULD I!!" n then she was like "but he's been injured so i put a band-aid on him" n i was like "oh does he need to be sewn up?" expecting this child to have been like me n just put band-aids on her stuffed animals For Funsoes but then she was like "yeah :(" and showed me the hole n i was like "oh my god. would you like me to fix him up?" n so anyway i have now fixed up the giant gaping hole in her stuffed sloth hehe c:

[six-of-ravens]

today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that just because Errant PM made up some bullshit, like a highly unrealistic deadline or randomly deciding to start showing clients half-built sites during the multiple meetings she has with them a week*, doesn't mean I have to do any of it. I can just build my little site like normal and she'll have to deal with the consequences of her idiocy.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

average United States contains 1000s of pet tigers in backyards" factoid actualy [sic] just statistical error. average person has 0 tigers on property. Activist Georg, who lives the U.S. Capitol & makes up over 10,000 each day, has purposefully been spreading disinformation adn [sic] should not have been counted

I have a big mad today, folks. It's a really frustrating one, because years worth of work has been validated... but the reason for that fucking sucks.

For almost a decade, I've been trying to fact-check the claim that there "are 10,000 to 20,000 pet tigers/big cats in backyards in the United States." I talked to zoo, sanctuary, and private cat people; I looked at legislation, regulation, attack/death/escape incident rates; I read everything I could get my hands on. None of it made sense. None of it lined up. I couldn't find data supporting anything like the population of pet cats being alleged to exist. Some of you might remember the series I published on those findings from 2018 or so under the hashtag #CrouchingTigerHiddenData. I've continued to work on it in the six years since, including publishing a peer reviewed study that counted all the non-pet big cats in the US (because even though they're regulated, apparently nobody bothered to keep track of those either).

I spent years of my life obsessing over that statistic because it was being used to push for new federal legislation that, while well intentioned, contained language that would, and has, created real problems for ethical facilities that have big cats. I wrote a comprehensive - 35 page! - analysis of the issues with the then-current version of the Big Cat Public Safety Act in 2020. When the bill was first introduced to Congress in 2013, a lot of groups promoted it by fear mongering: there's so many pet tigers! they could be hidden around every corner! they could escape and attack you! they could come out of nowhere and eat your children!! Tiger King exposed the masses to the idea of "thousands of abused backyard big cats": as a result the messaging around the bill shifted to being welfare-focused, and the law passed in 2022.

The Big Cat Public Safety Act created a registry, and anyone who owned a private cat and wanted to keep it had to join. If they did, they could keep the animal until it passed, as long as they followed certain strictures (no getting more, no public contact, etc). Don’t register and get caught? Cat is seized and major punishment for you. Registering is therefore highly incentivized. That registry closed in June of 2023, and you can now get that registration data via a Freedom of Information Act request.

Guess how many pet big cats were registered in the whole country?

97.

Not tens of thousands. Not thousands. Not even triple digits. 97.

And that isn't even the right number! Ten USDA licensed facilities registered erroneously. That accounts for 55 of 97 animals. Which leaves us with 42 pet big cats, of all species, in the entire country.

Now, I know that not everyone may have registered. There's probably someone living deep in the woods somewhere with their illegal pet cougar, and there's been at least one random person in Texas arrested for trying to sell a cub since the law passed. But - and here's the big thing - even if there are ten times as many hidden cats than people who registered them - that's nowhere near ten thousand animals. Obviously, I had some questions.

Guess what? Turns out, this is because it was never real. That huge number never had data behind it, wasn't likely to be accurate, and the advocacy groups using that statistic to fearmonger and drive their agenda knew it... and didn't see a problem with that.

Allow me to introduce you to an article published last week.

This article is good. (Full disclose, I'm quoted in it). It's comprehensive and fairly written, and they did their due diligence reporting and fact-checking the piece. They talked to a lot of people on all sides of the story.

But thing that really gets me?

Multiple representatives from major advocacy organizations who worked on the Big Cat Publix Safety Act told the reporter that they knew the statistics they were quoting weren't real. And that they don't care. The end justifies the means, the good guys won over the bad guys, that's just how lobbying works after all. They're so blase about it, it makes my stomach hurt. Let me pull some excerpts from the quotes.

"Whatever the true number, nearly everyone in the debate acknowledges a disparity between the actual census and the figures cited by lawmakers. “The 20,000 number is not real,” said Bill Nimmo, founder of Tigers in America. (...) For his part, Nimmo at Tigers in America sees the exaggerated figure as part of the political process. Prior to the passage of the bill, he said, businesses that exhibited and bred big cats juiced the numbers, too. (...) “I’m not justifying the hyperbolic 20,000,” Nimmo said. “In the world of comparing hyperbole, the good guys won this one.”

"Michelle Sinnott, director and counsel for captive animal law enforcement at the PETA Foundation, emphasized that the law accomplished what it was set out to do. (...) Specific numbers are not what really matter, she said: “Whether there’s one big cat in a private home or whether there’s 10,000 big cats in a private home, the underlying problem of industry is still there.”"

I have no problem with a law ending the private ownership of big cats, and with ending cub petting practices. What I do have a problem with is that these organizations purposefully spread disinformation for years in order to push for it. By their own admission, they repeatedly and intentionally promoted false statistics within Congress. For a decade.

No wonder it never made sense. No wonder no matter where I looked, I couldn't figure out how any of these groups got those numbers, why there was never any data to back any of the claims up, why everything I learned seemed to actively contradict it. It was never real. These people decided the truth didn't matter. They knew they had no proof, couldn't verify their shocking numbers... and they decided that was fine, if it achieved the end they wanted.

So members of the public - probably like you, reading this - and legislators who care about big cats and want to see legislation exist to protect them? They got played, got fed false information through a TV show designed to tug at heartstrings, and it got a law through Congress that's causing real problems for ethical captive big cat management. The 20,000 pet cat number was too sexy - too much of a crisis - for anyone to want to look past it and check that the language of the law wouldn't mess things up up for good zoos and sanctuaries. Whoops! At least the "bad guys" lost, right? (The problems are covered somewhat in the article linked, and I'll go into more details in a future post. You can also read my analysis from 2020, linked up top.)

Now, I know. Something something something facts don't matter this much in our post-truth era, stop caring so much, that's just how politics work, etc. I’m sorry, but no. Absolutely not.

Laws that will impact the welfare of living animals must be crafted carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely in order to ensure they achieve their goals without accidental negative impacts. We have a duty of care to ensure that. And in this case, the law also impacts reservoir populations for critically endangered species! We can't get those back if we mess them up. So maybe, just maybe, if legislators hadn't been so focused on all those alleged pet cats, the bill could have been written narrowly and precisely.

But the minutiae of regulatory impacts aren't sexy, and tiger abuse and TV shows about terrible people are. We all got misled, and now we're here, and the animals in good facilities are already paying for it.

I don't have a conclusion. I'm just mad. The public deserves to know the truth about animal legislation they're voting for, and I hope we all call on our legislators in the future to be far more critical of the data they get fed.

[whoslaurapalmer]

returning to the computer plot wall bc i figured out (well like 90% of the way) what i needed to of the pre-fic plot that i put on the physical wall and now it's just mapping out the fic beats in relation to the maltese falcon beats which i don't need the wall for (that is what i need a chart for) but........i miss you physical wall :(

[apollo-zero-one]

Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep

[somethingaboutvampires]

To the assholes in my office: I'm not 12, can't relate.

[artemisdesari-blog]

Sometimes being the mum who exists in fandom spaces leads to awkward, even concerning, conversations. Such as the one which happened this morning. The mum of my daughter's best mate asked me if one of their mutual friends had sent her a specific message. This message was a link to a fic on ao3, if this had been a G rated fic this conversation would not have happened. It was not G rated. It was an E rated fic. Our kids aren't even 12 yet. As it happens, both of our kids have their internet access heavily locked down and monitored. They have phones because of how their school manages homework. The mutual friend, however, is not so monitored. Or she wasn't, given what her mum found she's about to be. This kid had found a fandom, joined it, and found it chock full of antis. The fic had been sent to her by one of them as an example of the sort of terrible people out there who need to be harassed and attacked because they wrote a smutty story.

Someone thought it was appropriate to send written porn to an 11 year old to encourage her to attack the author.

This resulted in a very awkward conversation where I had to explain to multiple horrified parents the anti culture that is becoming so prevalent. The fact that there are adults who use that purity message to groom kids. The way they escalate and how it bleeds into real life. One parent told me she'd wondered why her 14 year old was suddenly concerned about the two year age gap between her parents. The more I explained, the more absolutely ludicrous it sounded and the more baffled these poor mums looked. More than once I was told "but the characters aren't real, it's really weird but it isn't hurting anyone". Which is the point. The fictional situation isn't hurting anyone. The person who sent porn to an 11 year old is.

Was the person who sent it the author? Doubtful, that thing was tagged in the extreme. Was the person who sent it an adult? Almost certainly. The parent who's child received the original message has found more concerning stuff and gone to the police, but from the language the person doing the sending was in the US. We aren't. Did my daughter receive it? No, she isn't interested in that fandom and therefore wouldn't have bothered with it. Is this the fault of the author? No, they didn't send the link, they didn't ask to be harassed, they wrote a story and put it on ao3, the website created in response to rampant censorship and designed to allow for all kinds of fiction. Is this the fault of the parents? Partially, they should have been looking at their daughter's internet use and clocked what was happening sooner. Is this the fault of the child? No, she's 11, she didn't know better.

This has been a difficult day. Multiple parents have had their eyes opened to parts of fandom culture they had no idea existed. And the thing of it is, they aren't concerned about the why of anti rhetoric. They don't care about the adults writing about teens or rape or incest or torture or any of the rest, because they looked at the clearly tagged and rated fics and figured that it worked the same as a warning on any streaming service. They only cared because some utterly vile individual decided to expose their child to something this girl might not have looked at for years.

Proshippers did not cause what I have spent afternoon helping several sets of parents navigate. Antis did. Normally I'm fairly quiet about the whole debate because I just want to get on with my life and share my experiences. Today I got dragged into that mess in my every day life and the adults in the equation didn't react the way Antis like to think they would. They didn't condemn the author. They condemned the anti who shared the work with a preteen.