#i’ll be hopefully selling this as a print so stay tuned

[tigerbaulm]

cockroach showdown

[tell-tale-taeil]

A customer (Chapter 1 out of 2)

Protagonists: Jeno Lee, original character, NCT Dream members mentioned Genre: mystery, noir, self-knowledge “Jeno wanders to a mysterious bookstore where he encounters even more mysterious individual, but somewhere deep down Jeno knows that this story is actually only about him.” TW: none 

See other members’ stories here:

TBA

Author’s note: When I saw this particular moodboard, an idea sparked inside my mind. With a constant support from my friends, I finally finished the first half of the story that I am presenting to you now. Thank you for your love and kindness, this is for you, I hope you’ll like it :) Special thanks to Woo and Volpe for proofreading <3

Any feedback, reactions, comments, recommendations or ideas for other members’ stories are welcomed, I wouldn’t mind turning this into a series.

Tagging: @neocluefor , @your-local--trashcan​  Let me know if you want to be added!

A dark, dim evening, the sun had just set, bits of the dusky orange sky shone through the maze of power lines, chimneys, rooftops and posts. As Jeno was walking down an empty tucked away backstreet, he felt like he set foot on a hidden crossroad between two worlds. The feeling of the unknown and the unexplored sent shivers down his spine and he quickened his pace, as he did not wish to get held up at here any longer than necessary. He told his manager he just wanted to grab something warm to eat and stretch his legs a little, but the truth was… He wanted to be alone.

Not so long ago Jeno realised he has a very rare gift – a gift of invisibility. Wherever he’d go, no matter how many people surrounded him, he felt unseen and unnoticed. Jeno, we need you to voice over this ad. Jeno, we need you to shoot a dance video. Jeno, we need you to smile for the photos. No, no, do the thing with your eyes, yes. Oh, you’re still here? We don’t need anything now. Sorry, were you saying something? Listen I gotta go, talk to you later maybe? Everyone knows Jeno the idol, but how many people have heard of Jeno the person? How many people remember Jeno the friend from school, Jeno the boy next door? What’s the point of rushing back into dorms, if he’s going to feel all the same? At least at here I can hear my own thoughts for a change. Without having to fight to get a word in. Noone’s interested in what you have to say anyway, so be a man, Jeno, and go sulk somewhere where people don’t have to look at your sorry face. Hmm, jjamppong sounds nice.

He walked where his feet led him, hands in the pockets of his coat, eyes staring blankly on the passing pavement tiles, red tiles, black tiles, grey tiles, shapes and figures, forms and contours. His mind unfocused, his thoughts scattered. Stop. Wait. Like in a dream, he saw himself standing in front of a narrow door, black paint flaking away, a few variously shaped and randomly placed yellow window panes, a big brass handle waiting to be pulled. He noticed a little oval plaque in his field of vision and the next thing he knew, he was standing in the middle of a bookshop. A minute passed, maybe ten, maybe an hour. Jeno glanced around, scratching his head. „Uh… good evening!“ He bowed his head a little, even though he didn’t see anyone at the counter. Nevertheless, he felt like he’s being watched, scrutinized, evaluated. Something was staring at him and Jeno suddenly wished that he was invisible again. He turned his head to where he felt the uncomfortable feeling coming from and there it was - behind the desk, on the left side of the wall, squished between large overflowing bookcases, right next to a tall wooden coat-stand shaped like an old tree - a red door with a big round opened eye painted on it. The door was opened, just a few centimetres, and a faint piano music was coming from inside. Come in, if you dare.

Jeno cleared his throat. Might as well look around properly, before they come back out. It’s no use of shouting or trying to make myself heard while that song is still playing. Listening to the melancholic but somewhat promising tune, Jeno inspected the surroundings. The shop looked messy and untidy. Chaos was the king of this castle, carelessness the lady of this household and together they ruled over their tiny land made of heaps of books, magazines and papers haphazardly placed on each other, shelves full of postcards and pictures, walls covered with ornaments and embellishments. Without a single tag or label in sight, Jeno wondered how could anyone find anything in here. He imagined the miscellaneous objects flowing into the shop and never leaving again. His gaze landed on a flashy pink paper packet filled with chewing gums in a no less showy wrapper on one of the shelves. Cool, a freebie! He reached for the gum, unpacked it and threw it into his mouth only to immediately pull a disgusted face as he chewed into the candy. It was like biting into a tasteless rubber. He spit it back out into the crumpled wrapper, put it next to the rest of the unused gums and set out to look for a trash can. He tripped on the thick dusty carpet and nearly stepped on something that looked rather expensive. This must be a bookshop with super rare prints and antiquities of some kind, this isn’t a place for me, I don’t fit in here, I should leave. And so, he stayed, bound in the place by a force of increasing curiosity he did not quite understand.

The piano stopped playing. Perfect, now’s my chance. „Hello? You, uh, have a customer! Heh…“ he stuttered awkwardly. Jeno wasn’t the type of a person who would enjoy excessive attention. If he ever tried to voice his opinion and was met with disregard or unconcern, he would simply think it was because his opinion on that matter was stupid and pointless. That’s why he was fairly used to this, not being heard. The only difference was that usually the rest of the members would fill the room with their chatter, so his lack of involvement in the group activities would normally go unnoticed. Unlike here, where the only sound was a deathly silence and Jeno’s thoughts humming in his head. He already spoke twice, what more does he need to do to be heard? Raise his voice? I just want to buy a book and get out of here. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak and right at that moment, the piano started playing again.

„Wha-, are you kidding me?“ he mumbled quietly under his breath. He looked around, confused, as if he was looking for understanding and sympathy from the other angry customers waiting for their turn to be served. He was the only one here and yet they’re making him wait. What is this, a private concert? Did they possibly saw him coming? Did they think that they’ll impress him with playing lowkey creepy piano melodies? This better not be a prank. He really wasn’t in the mood for fans and he didn’t think he could fake a smile at this hour. But he didn’t notice any hidden cameras, or any security cameras at all for that matter. He paced around the room nervously, scratching his neck. That’s it, I’m leaving. I don’t need that book anyway. I don’t need anything. If they don’t want me here, that’s okay, I’ll do just fine on my own.

He made a few strides towards the front door and then turned around again. „Hellooo! I came here to ask about books! Books that you happen to be selling!“ he raised his voice to the most pleading yet still polite level. The piano stopped again and Jeno gazed hopefully at the red door. He started walking back to the counter, slowly, carefully, as if he didn’t want to scare off the possibility of finally being served. He leaned on the desk, ready to place his order, tapping his fingers impatiently on the dark wooden surface. And just like that, as if it wanted to laugh directly into Jeno’s face, the piano started playing yet another tune, as impatient as Jeno himself. He pursed his lips and bent his head down. What the heck is this place, huh? A bookstore or a concert venue? At least serve some coffee and cake next time! He could just leave, never come back and forget about this place. But he really needed that book, he’s been looking for it so long, and he knew, he just knew, that this is the right place to look for it.

„Alright!“ Jeno raised his head and pointed his index finger to the door, from which the music was coming. „I’m going in there! And I’m going to knock real loud, so you better not be scared or surprised or angry!“ I doubt they can hear me, he thought, as the music only grew louder and louder. Okay, here we go… He approached the door behind the counter, cautiously, and with his finger still pointing forwards he tapped on the red wood with his nail a few times, gingerly, like he was expecting the door to bite his hand, after a while he shook his head and finally made a few feeble knocks. He put his head inside with a quiet: „Excuse me…“ and peeped into the backroom. As soon as his foot touched the threshold, the music stopped playing and Jeno opened the door wide. The room was small and empty, safe for the piano by the wall. No other door, windows, cabinets, electrical appliances, boxes, merchandise, not even trash. Just four bare walls and the damn piano that he swore was playing just a mere second ago.

Jeno gulped, his hand on the doorknob, his feet midstep, his whole body ready to run in the even that something would go wrong. Now now, be brave. „Hello?“ his voice was dry, hoarse and small. Goosebumps covered his nape. „Oh! A customer!“ said a voice behind him. „JESUS CHRIST!“ Jeno nearly fell back onto the ground, as he made several hurried steps backwards, tripping over boxes, books and papers, knocking over the tree coat-stand which embraced him in its patulous grip, making him feel trapped. „Can I help you?“ said the voice and as Jeno’s ragged breath started to decelerate again and as the stars stopped dancing in front of his eyes, only now he saw a pale face hovering in the shadows of the dimly lit place. The initial shock was over and, gradually, the face grew hair, and connected with a torso, arms and legs. „I…“ Jeno stuttered as he finally untangled himself from the clasp of the coat-stand and stood straight, „came here to buy a book.“ He clutched his hand near his heart and blinked hard for a few times. Get a grip, man, get a grip. „Then you’re in the right place! After all, this is a bookstore and we store all kinds of books,“ smiled the face that no longer resembled a ghost, but a person. „I’ve been… waiting here for 15 minutes… at least.“ He tried to sound angry, but the truth was he wasn’t really sure of how much time he actually spent here. Oh my god. A thought just crossed his mind. What if they’re already closed and I didn’t notice and just practically barged in here demanding to be served?!?! He wiped his forehead and opened his mouth to apologize for his intrusion, but before he could say anything, the figure in front of him spoke again. „Gosh, but I didn’t hear or see you at all!“ said the person, covering their red coloured lips with their hand. Typical. „I… tried to…“ Jeno sighed. If they didn’t hear me, I should have made more effort I guess. „I apologize, I’m sorry for the inconvenience I caused you.“ He bowed his head slightly. The person, dressed in a silky black dress that rustled with every step, fixed their dark eyes on Jeno’s apologetic face and shook their head disappointedly. They passed Jeno, who hurriedly backed out of their way, bumping into the red door, oh, I could have sworn the eye was open. huh, weird, and started to rummage through the bookshelves and bookcases, opening drawers and cabinets, dancing around all the clutter with their feet bare, without knocking over a single thing.

„So?“ asked the bookstore owner, combing through a particularly overflowing drawer. „Sorry?“ „Which book are you looking for?“ Jeno resisted the urge to facepalm himself and laughed nervously instead. „Ah, the book…“ Wait, the book? What book? „Umm… the book,“ he frowned. Why is he here again? He finished his schedule, yes, and then got out of the car sooner than the rest, because…? Because I wanted to buy a book? Uhh… I guess? „Um, yeah, I was hoping to get a book about the history of-“ „Hey!“ the character was now standing in the middle of the room, their arms crossed in an irritated manner, the long red painted nails tapping angrily. „Did you eat my chewing gum?“ You IDIOT! And you even left the wrapper and the actual gum right there on the shelf, ugh! „I’m really sorry,“ Jeno started apologizing at the double, „it was just sitting there, I thought-“ „How did it taste?“ asked the owner. „Um…��� Jeno blinked a few times and frowned. „Weird,“ he answered, looking down at his feet, like he was feeling guilty and disappointed at the same time. „I remember really liking this brand and it surprised me that is tasted so… stale,“ he answered truthfully. The woman sighed. „No wonder. It’s a special edition, a collectible. It’s been sitting here for five years. And now it’s ruined.“ She took the whole package in her hands and shook her head, discontented. Who the hell stores a pack of freaking chewing gums? „I guess I should have treated it better, maybe all the exposure made it tasteless and bland.“ She clicked her tongue. „What a shame. But at least the wrapping is still colourful and pretty to look at.“ „Uh… yeah. Sorry about that.“ She put the gums back in place and resumed with the thorough scouring of the area. „What book did you say you wanted?“ Oh, yeah, the book. The damn book again. „Ah, yeah, um… I was interested in the techniques of-“ „How about this one?“ The woman, currently kneeling down by one of the huge bookcases, proposed. Jeno stared at her, eyes wide. She reached under the furniture, scrabbled and felt around a bit, until she triumphantly retrieved a blue hardback tome. Just what is going on in here?  

Jeno watched the woman get up again, dust down her knees with a sigh, and then walk back behind the counter. She put the book on the desk and Jeno finally got a good look. The jacket was dusty, creased and torn in a few places. There were no pictures or details, it was just… blue. „Sound…” he read out loud. „Sound?“ Jeno raised an eyebrow. „That’s the title, yes.“ „It looks like a… heavy reading.“ He took the book in his hands to weigh it, it must be at least 500 pages long. „And pretty expensive.“ „It’s a poetry book, if you’re worried about the pages. And you don’t have to pay me for it.“ „Ah, I-… Wait, what? You don’t want me to pay you for it?“ „No, because I am not selling it to you. I’ll only let you borrow it. I‘ve always wanted to read it, because I am curious about the story, but… Do you sometimes get the feeling, be it a book, a movie, a photograph, or even a new pair of shoes, that it’s calling out to you? And when you finally get it, it’s like it’s your missing puzzle piece that you didn’t even know you need and it makes you complete?“ „I… guess, yeah.“ But not really, no. I can’t remember the last time I had this feeling. „Well, turns out, this book doesn’t complete me.“ She packed it in a plain paper bag and sealed it with a decorative tape. „But it might complete you,“ the owner said expectantly, sliding the wrapped book towards Jeno. He touched the paper and for a while, the room drowned in complete silence and time stopped, like a movie that froze and only showed a single frame. A frame with a book wrapped in a plain paper bag in the center, a woman’s hand with red fingernails touching it on the right, a man’s veined hand touching it on the left. Jeno’s hand.

He moved his fingers the tiniest bit and with them, the book. His body was immediately hit with a wave of electricity, the time unfroze and Jeno sighed heavily, leaning against the counter, like he just ran a hurdle race. „Will that be all?“ asked the owner with a kind smile. „I… can’t just take it.“ „You already did.“ She pointed towards the book Jeno was hugging anxiously, like he was afraid someone would steal it from him. He looked down, sighed again and finally stood up straight again. „I can’t take it for free. Even though I’m just borrowing it. How do you know I won’t run off with it?“ „Are you a thief?“ „No, but… I could be!“ „Well, in that case… How about you leave something behind then, like a pledge? I quite like the ring of yours,“ she pointed on Jeno’s hand, which he quickly pulled away. „That’s… it’s not anything fancy, and it’s bent, twisted… it’s worthless.“ „I’ll lend you a thing that’s worthless to me and you’ll lend me a thing that’s worthless to you. That’s a fair deal I’d say.“ She held out her hand. Jeno hesitated. What will the others think when he comes back without his friendship ring? They probably won’t even notice. „Alright…“ he took off the ring and rolled it around for a bit in his hand. Then, with a guilty feeling, he placed it in the owner’s hand, immediately regretting his decision. „Thank you for your purchase, have a nice day and see you whenever!“ he heard the woman say with a smile, pocketing the ring quickly. Then the door behind him shut with a loud bang and he was staying outside, with a book he didn’t know he needed and without a ring he didn’t remember wearing.

[my-mechanical-heart]

H o l l s t e i n •• 🔥

“I’m on fire when you’re near me,

I’m on fire when you speak...”

—

@carmillaseries ;; @natvanlis thank you for the inspiration, always 🙌🏻💛

—

Seems like it’s either update my Instagram or my Twitter or Tumblr and not all at once or in any kind of order, for that I am sorry! Because by posting this I am now horribly out of sync! But I have something exciting to share with you all (not sure how many people still follow this page though tbh so I might just be shouting to an empty room!) some of you may know that CarmillaCon is in October in Toronto, Dev (the gf) and I have the pleasure of going (after pulling all kinds of strings to get the funding for both of us to go together), back in April I applied to become a vendor to sell my fanart love for Carmilla with you all ☺️ I was successful and have the pleasure of sharing with you guys that I will be there with prints and 2020 calendars and maybe something else if I can get it sorted in time, and I’m equal parts happy equal parts terrified; I have only ever done one other con as a vendor and I had the help of my incredible friend Lee from EndlessWonderDesigns (put that into Etsy! She’s an amazing jewellery artist of various fandoms and ships!) who literally showed me the ropes and was very understanding even when I was having my artist freak out moments. I’ll be there on my own this time but hopefully with the support of my gf we’ll do okay 💛 stay tuned, here, twitter or Instagram, wherever you feel most comfortable, I’ll hopefully have more information later on! Till then; 🔥🔥😘🔥🔥 — This is a Photomanipulated artwork made in Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 using a Wacom Intuos drawing tablet. Please ask before sharing and give credit where credit is due. Thank you.

[sayuyuv]

To everyone who hasn’t received my update emails (I sent them regularly to your email address you left at tictail):

There has been huge production issues with the fanbook merch. The production teams for the stickers, purses and the charm messed up, I was doomed with a lot of bad luck. I had to correct their mistakes several times, until they got it right. There were errors reaching from color errors to jagged cutting lines. All errors I could not sell to my customers as they were. And this is only the tip of the iceberg.

This caused a massive delay for the fanbook over and over. Everytime I thought this couldn’t get worse, it did. But by the end of last year I finally got all merch together - with no errors. In the meantime while waiting for the corrected merch to arrive, I started to draw more illustrations as compensation for your wait. So now in total the book has 96 pages instead of the 80 pages. The book also gets upgraded to hardcover.

Before Christmas I sent off the fanbook file to the print company for sample printing. It should arrive this week and when I approve of the book’s exterior and interior quality, I’ll greenlight the big production of all fanbooks. So I can hopefully send off the first badges this month.

Please stay tuned. I’ll post photos of the sample book, when it arrives.

Once again thank you really much for your patience and understanding. I did my best to complete the fanbook as best as I could, with the best quality possible. I promise, that it’s worth the wait. (Trust me, I’m not someone who steals your money and runs away with it. You get what you payed for.)

If anyone wants to get all update emails resent to them, let me know via

issekiakeru(a)googlemail.com

[sofiewikstromart]

Had the lovely @memokkeen and her adorable dogs over for a longer visit recently, and we did tons and tons of stuff. I taught her some nifty Photoshop techniques while she taught me some cool traditional techniques! I made some marker illustrations on brown paper and I figured I should post some. Today’s feature is Kamina from Gurren Lagann because.. duh! When I was done, @memokkeen kind of just nodded, like yees.. Good…. and a couple of days later she stole my drawing pad and did some final touch-ups so it’s a collab in a way :D 

Also, I will (hopefully) be attending Comic Con Stockholm, Sweden on the 14th-16th of September. I’ll be selling some prints, networking, doing some on-site discounted commissions and selling gems like this one. So come to say hi if you’re in the neighborhood! Will post more info in the future!

[pieman24601]

Big Changes Coming in October (Patreon and More)

I am incredibly nervous to finally write this journal. This October, I am going to be completely restructuring how I do art on the internet. For the past few years, I've been very... Unhappy, with where I am as an artist. I've been struggling to enjoy myself like I used to. Drawing used to be something I had an energy to do, but now it's very difficult for me to find that energy. Things like vore don't bring me as much enjoyment as they used to, and that absolutely breaks my heart. I feel like I'm just doing art, rather than creating art. This has left me feeling incredibly burned out, sad, and longing for the days of old. When I create while I feel like this, the quality of my work suffers a noticeable dip. That is unacceptable to me. This unhappiness comes from the fact that I have been doing commissions non-stop for the past 5+ years. I've been trapped in a very unhealthy cycle in order to pay my bills and survive. This has sucked the joy out of art for me, and I desire nothing more than to escape. I want to make art something I love again, and I've been doing everything I can to make that possible. I tried to get a job in order to pay my bills, so I wouldn't be dependent on commissions. However, after getting that job, I quickly discovered I have a crippling anxiety disorder. I had horrible panic attacks that rendered me unable to work, so I had to quit in order to protect myself, my co-workers, and the customers. I've been seeing a counselor to try and fix this problem, as well as getting medication for my depression. Unfortunately, these things will take a long time to fix, and it doesn't look like I will be cured for a long time. Basically, I am unable to work right now, so the only possible source of income I have is my art. You can probably see the problem I'm faced with. I need to pay my bills, but I don't want to be burned out by doing commissions constantly. After thinking about this for a long time, I have come up with a solution: Beginning in October, the new phase of my life will begin, and many things will be changing: PATREON My Patreon will be greatly expanded. I will be posting a journal before the beginning of October with more details. Stay tuned! COMMISSIONS I will be taking fewer commissions to reduce my burnout. When I do accept commissions, I'll only do 1 or 2 at a time. I will also be a lot more strict on what I will or will not draw. I will not be accepting a commission that I have no desire to draw. I will also be doing more themed commission streams, as I do enjoy doing those. Accepting ideas I am more excited about allows me to be more motivated to work on it, and therefore produce art of a higher quality. I desire nothing but the best for all of you, I don't want to produce something of lesser quality. These changes will hopefully make it so that every commission I do is much better and more enjoyable. GAMES This has been a huge debate for me. My dream in life is to be a game designer. I wanna make video games for people to enjoy. However, with the recent changes Steam has made, putting up an indie game on their platform just isn't really viable for me anymore. So I've decided to focus on the furry community, and to make games for our various niches. I plan on making games that are not only fun to play, but also satisfying as fetish content. I plan on doing stuff that hasn't been done before, and I really hope you all enjoy it. More information will be coming soon about specific games. I can also say that the development of these games will be heavily tied to Patreon, as it will help motivate me to get them done faster. PRODUCTS Plushies, Pins, Prints, Mouse Pads, Dakimakuras, stickers, I'm gonna do it all. I am going to build up a wide variety of physical and digital goods for all to enjoy, that I will be selling online as well as at conventions. Want a plushie of Sarah Vixen? That may be a thing I plan on doing. COMICS/INTERACTIVES I wanna tell stories about my characters. I want to share with you the worlds I have inside my head. I will be making comics and interactives in order to do so, fleshing out my cast of characters to actually be... well... characters. As you can see, I've got a lot planned. I probably missed some details, so if you have any questions please feel free to ask. I am very very nervous about moving away from dependency on commissions. I'm curious about what you guys think, as I just want to make sure I'm making you all happy. PLEASE let me know what you think. I hope that in the months to come, I can make high quality art for you to enjoy. I love you all so much and I cannot thank you enough for the endless support you give me. Thank you so much for reading <3

[kacchakozine]

Shipping + Orders update !! (3/3)

Hello everyone!

Unfortunetely Mod Kipio had fallen extremely ill and won't be able to ship out the packges this weekend. I (mod Kipio) would like to personally apologize for the delay on sending out the orders as I've fallen ill with the flu and I've also run out of ink for printing the shipping the shipping labels to which I going to buy on Monday!

Please stay tuned for further updates. Hopefully I'll be able to send out packages again by Tuesday and Wednesday so please stay tuned for updates and tracking numbers by then!!

Along with this, we've received several asks in regards to selling more copies of the PDF zine. We will be sticking with the decision to not open orders for the PDF copy again. There might be, however, a chance that we will open orders for any leftover copies of the physical zine and merch! So please stay tuned for further updates on that as well!!

Thank you so much for the support so far everyone and we deeply apologize for the delay on sending out the orders!!

[jenzelart]

Hello, I love your art and I would like to know where can i purchase some of your crows painting. I live in France. Thank you.

Bonjour, mom ami, and thank you so much for your comment and kind words, much appreciated!I haven't yet figured out how to sell my work - I've been all art, no business up until now. But I do intend to work out the business side of things and be able to sell prints, hopefully in the near future. Stay tuned, I'll be posting about it when I've got it all sorted out.Merci beaucoup!

[orbyssarchives]

My First Con! SuperCon Retro!

I'll be having my first ever Artist Alley table this year at SuperCon Retro this year! As a smaller con this'll hopefully be a great way to test the waters for myself and gauge the kind of stock I'd need to carry for a larger con. Retro Con is on the weekend of April 14-16. I'll post more later with details on what kinda stuff I'll be selling (mainly prints and stickers/decals). Florida SuperCon was the first con I ever went to way back when I was little lad in highschool so it's really cool to have the opportunity to go back to that modest version of it as an artist. Stay tuned, If you're into that sorta thing.