#i’ll miss twitter a lot if it really goes down but I’ve been on tumblr for a literal decade

[snaccpopstudios]

Long time, no see, Tumblr!

Hello Everyone! It’s been a while, and we’re so sorry about the silence on our blog! But we have some big, important updates to share with you all. The entire team has been extremely busy with both personal, real-life responsibilities and with game production! On top of this, we have also had a big change in management and production, so we’ve been getting a handle on that at the same time.

I’ll start this by stating that I’m Tobias (he/him), the new social media and community manager, and I’ll be bringing this update to you all! And, all Patreon links provided (minus the ones near the end) are public posts, so you don’t need to be subscribed to a tier to view them, but you still need to be 18+! Now, this goes a bit back, so get a warm drink and get comfy to read this big post because if you haven’t been on the Twitter or Patreon, you’ve missed quite a lot (which is on us entirely! We’re sorry again!) In September 2023, we released a few screenshots on our Patreon showing off some script revisions for the demo of “Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack.” (read them + the update more in detail here!: https://www.patreon.com/posts/sunny-day-jack-90099502) As stated in that post, “A lot of grammatical errors, run-on sentences, etc.. are also being combed out in favor of: - Content that foreshadows future events in the game - Content that is easier to read - And content that more clearly portrays the rules, lore, and restrictions of the supernatural/horror elements in this world

Additionally, more content in general, will be added. Not a substantial amount, but enough to flesh out scenes and make things make more sense now that the world/game has been almost completely outlined.” This post was met with a lot of confusion, as SDJ fans mentioned that they feared the game was being toned down from its original concept. And while our re-writes do actively remove dialogue that unintentionally may be perceived as dubious consent or pressuring the player into sexual/romantic choices, there are no intentions to remove yandere/horror content! We cleared this all up in another Patreon post; a small QnA (here’s that one, again, more in detail!: https://www.patreon.com/posts/q-yandere-is-to-91034309). 

You may be saying “But Tobias! On the Kickstarter, it said there was soft, dubious consent!” And yes, that is true. However, as stated in the 2nd link provided, Our publisher at the time, Project Enso, originally put that warning up. Sauce (they/them) was not happy with that, but PE properly explained that people who were uncomfortable with the infamous "No Route" hadn't had that warning, and thus felt surprised.

This twitter post was the beginning of Sauce’s quest to remove that warning. (https://x.com/SunnyDayJack/status/1560782320533118976?s=20)

[Disclaimer: PE had nothing to do with the writing of the content. They just had to do what was safest!]

Now, you may have noticed that at the beginning of this post, I mentioned a big change in management. In a post made on Patreon in late October 2023, we got introduced to our new Director, Biscuit (she/her)! She’s previously made devlogs on the Patreon, but she’s since been made the Head of Operations for SnaccPop! These are big and important posts, so I really recommend reading them (as well as the previous posts I’ve linked) in their entirety on the Patreon! - Status Update: New leadership, steps moving forward, future of SnaccPop: https://www.patreon.com/posts/status-update-of-91558879 - Q&A: Project Enso departure, AphroDesia, Deadlines and more: https://www.patreon.com/posts/q-project-enso-91850042

But the main points of these two posts above are, 

Sauce will no longer be taking a management role at SnaccPop anymore. Instead, they will take a much necessary backstep to focus solely on creating art and supporting the studio through their continuous work.

The studio has Biscuit as its front-facing figure, but she will be helped out by Perrie (she/her, our current Voice Acting director), Nana (she/her, our current Art director), and other individuals who are key to keeping the content going smoothly at a decent pace. 

SWWSDJ is no longer being released as a full game in November 2024, and is now having Episodic Releases! (Acts 1, 2, 3, and 4)

The Patreon rewards will remain entirely the same. Sauce, as it has been said before, will keep working with us all the way!

Some of you may be wondering what happened with Project Enso and why we parted ways with them, you can read their parting message here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/official-from-92484578

We want to say thank you to Project Enso for all the great work they did for us, however, we believe this decision is the best next step forward to make Sunny Day Jack as best of a game as it can be.

Now, onto some fun stuff! Speed round!

An AphroDesia Game?! The customer is always right! But that doesn't mean that they're necessarily pleasant to deal with…   Available to our $10+ Patreon supporters, you can play a demo of the upcoming mini dating-sim featuring our beloved cutie-pie, TMon, called “ConciUrges.” Featuring 4 endings, two of which are NSFW!

Bachelor of the Month is back! We’re introducing our new icy, and first plus-sized bachelor for the month of December, Jacob Frost (who’s voice has yet to be revealed, but his look has been!) He’s draped out in front of a cozy fireplace, waiting for you to get to know him for $5+~

Another SDJ Demo? You betcha! We understand that there's been lots and lots of content for Sunny Day Jack, and that includes multiple demos that we've released in the past. However, we want to release one last demo. One that includes our new artstyle and script changes that reflect our ideology much more clearly so there aren't any doubts as we move into the future. The release date is TBD!

WE'RE HIRING!! Are you an 18+ NSFW writer and/or an audio engineer? Then you're the person(s) for us! Apply for the position(s) on the Patreon post or the Twitter post!  THE POSISTION IS ONLY FOR THOSE 18+. PROOF OF AGE WILL BE REQUIRED.

Project: DramaBoy As stated in the above linked posts in #5 (more in detail on the Patreon link!) We’re starting up a new project, Project: DramaBoy! As an explanation to non-paying patrons who may have missed our upload of our first teaser (Impish BF Surprises You on Christmas),  we'll be looking to release (hopefully) weekly NSFW and SFW POV Boyfriend audios! Sometimes they'll include characters you know and love-- such as Jambee or Sunny Day Jack. However-- sometimes, they'll include interesting beta concepts voiced by the same VAs from our mainstay projects! Read all about it and see the SLIVER of the list of BFs we’re planning to bring you at https://www.patreon.com/posts/project-dramaboy-94652067 (available to read for free!)

That's all for this update! We know it's lengthy and long overdue, so thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to read! ^_^

[golikehellmachine]

friday, nov. 4th

it’s the end of a very long, covid-y week full of chills, fevers, and the both hilarious and alarming beginning of the end for twitter as we know it.

anyway, social platforms and websites rise and fall. speaking of, i’m still getting reintroduced to tumblr and don’t really know what — if anything — i’ll do with it on the regular, but for now, i’m leaning toward the idea of using it as a music blog.

which brings us to this!

here’s a friday playlist of mostly new music. i’m going to try to stick with things that are available on bandcamp, whenever possible; if there’s something older, out of print, or worth sharing a video for, i’ll use youtube, but i’m going to stay away from the streaming services as much as i can.

***

first up, this track from soft kill’s newest, ‘canary yellow’. from their social media, it sure looks like they’re on a long hiatus, if not done for good, and i can’t blame them. some of them have young kids now, and they’re stuck in that terrible spot where they’re doing great work, getting good shows, bringing big crowds, but not big *enough* to even break them even by the time they get home from a several week or multi-month tour. the state of the music business is, well, sort of like the state of everything else.

the whole record is excellent, and their best work, by a *lot*. they finally seem to have a handle on both what they’re doing and what they want to do, and i think they got both right here. i’m going to link two tracks, because they’re both superb.

first up, THE LINE. if you caught the 2017 return of twin peaks, you’ll be familiar with the chromatics, ruth radelet’s full-time gig. she takes over vox on this one, and it’s a lovely, melancholy, swaying kind of song.

next up, my favorite from the record, and, i think, the first single, CONGRATULATIONS TEXT. this, to me, feels like exactly what they’ve been trying to get right since the beginning, and this sound is like a sweet little paper boat set sail down the river. hopefully it turns up again sometime in 2024 or 2025, as they’ve suggested it might.

next up is from a debut that seems to be picking up a lot of steam — big joanie. far too much indie and indie punk has been too straight, too male, and too white for far too long, and it’s super dope to hear a band that is none of those.

this record’s out on kill rock stars in the US and (i think?) the UK, and while KRS can be really hit or miss, this one’s right on target. it’s a slow build, with electronic drums, really lovely harmonies, and a good danceable club groove. i somehow managed to get my vinyl of this record last week, and i’ve been listening to it on and off since then.

it’s funny — as a hopeless jawbreaker fanatic when i was a young man, i was, at first, a little unsure of what i thought of jets to brazil, because, at the time, they sounded like such a departure from jawbreaker. now, as an (ahem) older man, i can hear all the ways that jets to brazil were just really a natural evolution from where jawbreaker were by dear you, and this really comes through on ETC., the final jawbreaker odds and ends collection.

i did become a jets to brazil fan, and, in a pretty similar progression, as a young man, i thought PERFECTING LONELINESS was inferior to the band’s debut, ORANGE RHYMING DICTIONARY. i feel exactly the opposite about it, today; i rarely put ORD on the turntable anymore, but this record goes on at least once a month.

this particular song, CAT HEAVEN, used to sound so sappy and trite to me when i first heard it, but now, i think it’s the loveliest song on the record, and my second or third favorite. it’s a lovely ballad, and the final lines of the verse have, once or twice, brought me to tears with their sweetness and melancholy. it’s a real gem.

a true story about rainer maria is that a friend of mine played in a wild, screaming, anarchopunk hardcore band called brother inferior approximately 300,000 years ago, who once did a few tour dates (or maybe a whole tour?) with them. it’s weird to think how you used to be able to catch profane existence-ish hardcore bands right up next to saddle creek emo tearjerkers.

this record felt like it was meant to be their big break, coming in 2003, right around the time that saddle creek bands and rilo kiley were finally getting out of basements and bars and moving into small and medium theater shows. they never really went all that far, but i always thought this single was supurb; it’s urgent, exciting, and feels like the wheels are about to fall off all the way through. even towards the end, in the descending close, it sounds like it might come apart any second.

twitter is a weird place, but there is (or, at least was) a lot that was fun about it, and one of those things was discovering other musicians and what they do.

dan lehner’s a fantastic and versatile trombonist based out of new york, and while everything he’s done is great, this is really, really superb.

DEEP RED BELLS is, of course, a neko case joint from blacklisted, and used to be *very* well known and prevalent anywhere you might hear neko case being played (bars, coffee shops, the supermarket). i think it faded to the background a little once fox confessor brings the flood came out, because fox confessor is such a monster record that it blots out the entire sun, but DEEP RED BELLS is still worth remembering.

dan tells me that sami stevens, the vocalist for this lovely rendition, only had a sort period to prep for it, but you could have fooled me, everything’s in the right place here, including dan’s trombone.

RIP twitter, long live twitter, twitter will never die.

x will never, ever, not be one of my favorites. i do not care that exene is paranoid, i do not care that billy zoom is a right-wing libertarian, i don’t care, it doesn’t matter, shut up. x are an american institution and a permanent american punk rock and americana staple, and all of those idiosyncrasies — unpleasant though they often are — are part of that, too.

we’re hoping to catch them next month at revolution hall, e.g., the venue of choice for people old enough to prefer to sit at shows. of course, they’re much older than we are, and doing all the hard work, and i appreciate them for it every time.

under the big black sun always has and always will be my favorite, and REAL CHILD OF HELL is my favorite from my favorite. there’s a version of this on the excellent documentary “The Unheard Music” which is just john doe and exene working on it together that i wish a full recording existed of, but the full band version is legendary and lasting.

bridal veil are locals here in portland, and friendly acquaintances of ours that we’re working on putting some shows together with in 2023. they’re a really fun live act — which is not always a given with their particular brand of droning, driving shoegaze.

this EP reminds me of some of the best parts of 90s alternative radio shoegaze — enough hooks to keep you engaged, even if you’re not a huge shoegaze fan, lush orchestration, heavy low ends and lovely highs that cut through it. jordan at room 13 did a superb job mixing this exactly right, and if we weren’t already firmly in love with our own engineer and studio, we’d definitely be looking them up.

i don’t know much about this band, other than my partner — whose taste is infinitely, unquestionably better than mine is — telling me that i absolutely have to hear it, and she was absolutely right. nothing else on this record hits quite right like this one does, but this song is such an excellent, raucous good time.

it reminds me, more than anything else, of james at their best, and james at their best were very, very good.

and so we come to the end — tumblr has a ten song limit per post, which seems perfectly reasonable, because otherwise this post, already too long, would go on forever.

not all 00s nostalgia is good; like every decade, most of what was released in the 00s was trash, and that was especially true for a lot of synth.

but not ladytron.

ladytron were always effortlessly, unbelievably cool. the kind of cool you absolutely would not ever meet, at least in the united states. they’ve been consistent from the beginning, but nothing ever quite scratched the same itch for me that light & magic, from 2002, did. until… maybe now? twenty years later, CITY OF ANGELS, the first single from their upcoming record, time’s arrow, might hit the exact same sweet spot that their jet black, white belt, neon breakout record did. it’s sure an enticing thought, enough to get me to pre-order it.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Could you repeat the question?

pairing: Taehyung x reader, oc x Yeonjun (TXT)

premise: a joint interview with your group, BTS, and TXT two months after you met your soulmate.

word count: 2k

[2/2] continuation of Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself

requested by anon - a picture of your request will be at the bottom of the post! 

------------------------------------------

“Please don’t tell them.”

“Me? Why would I say anything?”

“You...you have that look.”

Yeonjun whirls around to face Taehyung, who just entered the room. “Do I have a look?”

Taehyung winks at you in greeting, something that nearly makes you swoon and your group members snicker. 

“A look?” He frowns for a moment before giving his dongsaeng a pitiful smile. “Oh yeah, you do. Definitely.” Taehyung smiles at Jiwoo, my band member who is busy sending death glares at her soulmate. “He’s gonna spill it.”

Yeonjun jumps up from his seat at the same time Taehyung settles down beside you, placing his arm on the back of the couch and brushing your hair off to the side. It’s enough to make goosebumps rise on your skin, which of course he notices. 

Oh, how you’d like to wipe that knowing little smirk off his face right now. 

“I can’t believe this! I’m not going to say a thing-”

“Yeonjun, and I’m saying this with love, if you say a single thing about it, I will personally unplug your refrigerator when you least expect it.”

Your attention is pulled away when you feel Taehyung leaning in to whisper something in your ear. “So, do we know what they’re arguing about?”

You can’t help but giggle. “Nope. Jiwoo won’t say anything.”

“Neither will Yeonjun.”

The smitten couple have been teasingly arguing for the entirety of the morning, leaving the rest of us in complete and utter confusion. 

Oh well, I suppose it’ll help make the broadcast a bit more exciting. 

It’s been two months since Jiwoo and I first *ahem* teleported to our soulmates at the MAMA awards. Or rather, since I landed in Taehyung’s lap and Jiwoo was nearly knocked unconscious when Yeonjun was thrown into her at full force. Of course, Jiwoo claims that it was horribly embarrassing, to which I’m always quick to say that she should feel lucky that at least she didn’t end up in a grown man’s lap. For all to see, no less. 

Ari, our other group member, just rolls her eyes and tells us that beggars can’t be choosers. 

Yeah, whatever that means. 

The past two months have been busy, with hardly enough time to spend with my soulmate. Between the busy schedules and BTS and TXT and our own schedule, we’ve had to settle for late-night FaceTimes and the occasional lunch at the Bighit building. I’ve become really good at sneaking in and out of that building in broad daylight - so far I have yet to be discovered. 

Today, however, is an important one. It’s our first official schedule together as soulmates. Naturally, all three groups have come together for the interview/variety show. 

“Alright, time to head on!” A manager shouts into the room, and suddenly there’s a flurry of movement as we all head toward the door. “I need all the soulmates to stick to their own groups, ok? We don’t want to be causing a riot today.”

Right. With a gloomy expression, Taehyung parts from me to head back to his members. Jiwoo and I glue ourselves to Ari’s side, much to her chagrin. “Ready?”

Both you and Jiwoo respond simultaneously. “Nope.”

Ari just sighs, feigning annoyance. Together, the three of you await your cue as one by one, your groups are introduced. 

TXT goes first, the hosts making a big deal out of swooning over Soobin who now has a cult of his own due to his MC abilities. They make a show of handing the microphone over to him, begging him to take it over from there. He politely declines, while the rest of the boys bicker and chat in the background. 

Then your group is called out, and you find yourself walking out before a huge crowd. You didn’t realize that many people could fit in this building, but here they are. And all of them are here for the same reason: to get a look at the soulmate couples that have newly formed. 

And that have been trending on Twitter and Tumblr for two solid months, breaking all kinds of records. 

As BTS is introduced with an almost reverent tone, you understand why you’ve been trending for so long.

It has a lot to do with one of the men walking out right now, smiling at the crowd and waving, graciously bowing his way across the stage. 

Taehyung wears a gray casual suit which has him looking like he just stepped off a photoshoot. Hair perfectly styled and eyes glowing with adoration for the fans that roar and wave, he commands the entire room with a single raise of his eyebrows. 

Your soulmate, ladies and gentlemen. 

Today is the day where you prove to the rest of the world how much of a perfect match you are for this man. The notion is terrifying. 

“Wow!” The host, a jovial man named Donghyun shouts out, exaggerating how amazed he is by the crowd’s reaction to all three groups sharing the same stage. Indeed, it’s a rare sight. “Ok! Should we get started?”

After a few minutes of more introductions, a few cursory questions (he asks Yeonjun what he’s been up to recently and you’re pretty sure Jiwoo manages to telepathically threaten him, because he chooses the most vague answer imaginable), and instructions on how to begin the next activities, you’re off to the races. 

Painting races, that it. 

Donning a frock and eyeing the empty canvas before you, you glare at your opponent across the way. Taehyung, to his credit, refrains from winking at you. He thinks you’re adorable when you’re flustered, but now’s not the time. 

“Taehyung-ssi!”

Taehyung blinks up at Donghyun. “Yes?”

“Are you going to let your soulmate win?”

The game is simple: paint the listed object with as much detail as possible in a sixty second period. The others will have to guess what it is. 

Taehyung pouts his lips a bit, glancing over at you with a glint in his eye. “I’ll have to see, I think.”

Donghyun chuckles into the mic, turning to face you. “What about you? If Taehyung-ssi falls behind, will you help him win?”

You wiggle your eyebrows at your soulmate, heart soaring when he delivers a boxy grin. “Oh, of course not. I came to compete, not hold hands.”

The crowd bursts out laughing, and someone yells out, “I’ll hold his hand for you!”

You all dissolve into a fit of laughter at that, your cheeks blushing madly. “Yeah, thanks for the offer,” you say between giggles. Readying your paint brush, you wait for the signal. 

You’ve been given the word ‘Iceland’, which you figure shouldn’t be too hard. 

What you failed to account for was the fact that you’re perhaps the worst painter you know. What should look like a globe looks like a basketball and what should be a cube of ice instead looks like nothing more than a cardboard box. 

In the end, you’re pretty sure you laugh more than you paint. Your team members, consisting of a mix from both teams, look utterly confused at the end product. Eventually it’s Jin - who happens to be on Taehyung’s team - that accidentally calls out the answer. 

The rest of the games pass by in a blur of laughter and covert glances toward Taehyung. He always manages to find a way to make you laugh, even though he remains on the other side of the stage for the most part. You don’t miss all of the fans that look at him dreamily, and you can only hope that they’re happy with your overall performance today. 

At the end, you all squeeze onto a couple of couches. Donghyun makes a fuss over allowing the soulmates to sit together, and you can’t hide your smile as a beet-red Yeonjun sidles down to the couch to sit beside Jiwoo, placing his hands in his lap and trying not to do anything that will go viral. 

Taehyung sits on your right, crossing his arms in a way that pulls on his suit jacket enough to expose the outline of his biceps. You catch your eyes wandering, snapping your attention back to the front where Donghyun reads some questions off of a card. 

“I believe that this was the first time soulmates have met while performing at MAMA, is that correct? What were your first thoughts when you suddenly found yourselves face to face with your soulmate?”

The four of you that now have all the attention riding on your shoulders look to each other for help. Finally, with a racing heart, you answer first.

“I think the obvious answer is that I was shocked,” you smile as knowing chuckles ripple through the room. “But I was also really grateful, because Taehyung was so kind and understanding. The staff were very professional and helped us quickly. Overall, I really can’t imagine it having happened in any other way.”

There’s a few ooh’s and aww’s that greet your ears, but you look down at your lap as you blush. Taehyung slightly nudges your knee with his own, and in that simple movement you feel the comfort that he’s trying to give you. 

“I’d actually been talking to Jiminie earlier about soulmates,” Taehyung pipes up. 

“Oh, yeah! That’s right!” Jimin says, giving his friend a slap on the shoulder. “What are the odds?”

Taehyung flashes a shy smile. “I told him that I felt like I was ready. It can be strangely lonely sometimes, and there are times when I just felt like I was missing something. Now, all I have to do is pick up my phone and my missing piece is on the other side, ready to talk with me.”

Now people are really swooning, you included. You dare to peek over at your soulmate, heart nearly melting when you see that his shy smile is paired with pink cheeks. You wish that you could snuggle up to him right now, but that would definitely not end well. Instead, you lightly nudge his knee with your own, returning the little slice of comfort he provided you earlier. 

“And you two?” Dongyun asks after wiping fake tears away from his eyes. 

Yeonjun chews on his bottom lip, Jiwoo too lost in thought to notice that he has that look again. 

“I, er...” Yeonjun begins, squirming a little in his seat. “I was...really happy.”

Donghyun urges Yeonjun to continue. “Of course you were! What about finding Jiwoo made you so happy?”

Jiwoo looks up in horror, but it’s too late. Yeonjun has already opened his mouth and begun to speak. 

“I was so happy because the first thing she said to me was that she thought I was so hot.”

Radio silence. 

And then-

“Oh-ho!! Yeonjunnie you’re so dead!” Hueningkai laughs, and soon everyone follows suit. Even Donghyun has to throw his hand over his mouth to keep himself from snorting with laughter. 

Jiwoo looks at Yeonjun, who completely avoids her gaze as he stares unblinking at the floor. Then, quietly enough for nobody to hear except for you who sits beside her, she whispers, “Say goodbye to all the perishable items in your fridge.”

In the chaos that ensues, Taehyung discreetly traces circles against your arm and mumbles, “Why didn’t you say that to me when we first met?”

You smack his shoulder. “I should be asking you the same thing!”

Just before everything calms down again, Taehyung leans over to grab the abandoned canvas on the ground. Taking the still-wet paint and dipping his finger into it, he draws something out on it. Nudging you to get your attention, he flashes the canvas for you to see, hiding it from the cameras. 

It’s hard to keep a neutral expression as you see his handiwork. It’s just six words, but they’re enough to have your entire face flushed a moment later. 

I think you’re hotter than Yeonjun ;)

Stifling a laugh, you roll your eyes. “I hope you know I’m keeping that,” you mumble. Taehyung grins.

“Great. We’ll get it framed.”

A few days later, you do. It hangs in the front room of your apartment, for all to see. And for Jiwoo to loathe, as it serves as a constant reminder of her embarrassing first words to her soulmate.

Oh well. In the words of Ari, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

masterlist

[macgyvertape]

I find my self deeply frustrated by Bungie Vaulting Forsaken and the Tangled Shore. I had a lot of reservations when Bungie announced they were vaulting about half the game last summer, and I did talk about my mixed feelings about the trade off on other sites. That yes it improved the health of the game from a technical perspective, it set a precedent I don’t like.

With announcement of continued vaulting, with the implication Bungie will vault an old expansion ever new release, I’m feeling extremely Bungie critical. No other MMO vaults old expansions like this, and I hate this trend of building an “evolving world” by trashing old content I paid for and still enjoy. Maybe if more things came out of the content vault I would have better opinions but Bungie’s statements have led me to expect to never see Vaulted locations like Io or a Titan again.

Side note: why announce that Forsaken will be vaulted in 4 months, but keep charging for it for about half that time? I’m sure they want to tie in to celebrate the 30th anniversary but sucks for some people I know who just bought that DLC recently.

A lot of people are arguing that: 1) 3 years is a long time to have content it’s expected to get your money’s worth by then, 2) it isn’t story relevant and no one goes there anymore.

1) this is the biggest Your Milage May Vary point. If I buy an expansion I expect to be able to play that expansion storyline maybe with some minor changes until the game shuts down. Otherwise expansions are just extra long season passes. I enjoy replaying old games even if I’ve already sent hundred of hours into, and it’s such a matter of taste of “get your money’s worth” that it can’t really be argued well.

2) I don’t care if something isn’t currently story relevant in Destiny, it still has worth. Bungie takes literal years to circle back around to plot points. I could write a lore essay about a lot of currently relevant characters besides Crow are still heavily influenced by Forsaken and I could make a compelling argument about how chunks of Shadowkeep and even Beyond Light aren’t current story relevant. I enjoy going to the Tangled Shore just to run around: I think it’s a unique space hulk inspired area with great music, I like the strikes (even The Fanatic despite the bugs), I like The Spider as a character and his bounties, and I love the lost sectors. People said a lot of the same things about old zones like Titan and Mars that no one went there and once the new content comes out no one will miss them, but funny how for the past year there’s always been a number of high engagement posts across twitter/Reddit/tumblr talking about things that are missed and should return.

Wonder if this time next year when following the trend and Shadowkeep is announced to be vaulted that there will suddenly be a lot of posts talking about how no one goes to the moon, it’s dead content, Alter of sorrows is annoying, etc…

Personally a lot of my dislike for expected future vaulting comes from how I would not have returned to play several other online games if they cut content like D2 does, and how I would not have returned to D2 if I missed that window in Season of Arrivals to binge on soon to be cut content. I already pre-ordered WQ but I’ll spend next year evaluating does my enjoyment of playing this game outweigh the knowledge that the content will be gone in 3 years.

I know software development is hard, as is communicating with clients/customers (my job is both), but It’s not like Destiny isn’t making Bungie enough money that they can’t put effort into developing other options than continuing to vault things every year. Much like how after initially doubling down on sunsetting weapons/guns in Dec 2020 the developers reversed course and sunsetted sunsetting, if the Developers announced that Forsaken would be the last DLC to be Vaulted I would still be frustrated but a lot less so. Especially if they were as transparent of how it would improve the game besides file size, as they were with explaining how fixing bugs improved after the original Content Vault.

[admiringlove]

愛してる: 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏.

— we invite you to celebrate the brewery’s first valentines’ day, with freshly brewed sweet drinks, to honor the day dedicated to love. click for valentines’ day special menu!

↳ 烏野高校 — karasuno high. presenting: sugawara kōshi, sawamura daichi, azumane asahi. i’m sorry these are coming a little late, exam pressure lmao.

credits for image @ roarzoro on twitter.

sugawara kōshi

kōshi loves you with all of his heart. he knows it, and he's known it for a long time. his heart is always looking for you. he's watching you talk about your favorite volleyball anime, or he goes to the temple with you to watch you pray, as he wishes to the lords before him that by some miracle, you fall in love with him. 

and you do. but he doesn't know that. 

kōshi's looking at you, but he doesn't realize that you're looking at him when he's not noticing. he's talking about the crazy quick attack the first years have, and you notice the small spark in his eyes as you admire him from afar. 

during the weekends, the two of you always go on walks. it's calming—the small morning breeze passing through the two of you as you chat while feeding the fishes by the bridge. then, you'd get coffee by the small shop near the school. sometimes, the two of you would even have lunch together. you'd insist that he get the spicy mapo tofu because it's his absolute favorite, and that would make him fall deeper into the pit called love. 

so, as you two graduate from school, your heart burns as you watch him wave at you from afar.

+

"[y/n]!!" he yells out, "i'll see you this weekend at the park, okay?"

you don't want to say anything, because right now, all you can feel is that nostalgic feeling fading away. the high-school years are gone. kōshi and you have just graduated from high school, and he's being pulled by the sleeve by daichi to their families as you stand here, alone, looking at them.

but then, daichi stops. he stands there, whispering something to sugawara as you raise your eyebrow in confusion. the setter immediately places a hand over his face to hide his blush, turning away from the former volleyball team captain.

you sigh, walking back. you feel stares boring through the back of your skull, but you ignore them. and suddenly, the grey-haired boy is next to you, pulling your hood back as you bump into him. he sheds a toothy grin with a thumbs-up, asking, "where do you think you're going?"

you look away, annoyed, as you say, "go flirt with daichi or something, dumbass. i'm tired and i'm going home."

"wait, what?" he asks, stopping as he tilts your chin to look up at him, "did you just—you think i like daichi?"

"i-i..." you sigh, not finding the words you wanted to say. you look away in embarrassment when he says, "are you dumb?"

"okay, that's it. i'm going now," you huff, freeing your hands from his grasp as you begin walking away.

he chuckles out, the soft pink petals of the cherry trees falling as he yells out, "for the record, i love someone very much."

"okay, and?" you yell back, turning on your heel. you feel the rejection almost ghosting over your figure as he says, "they're standing in front of me thinking i like my best friend."

looking back, kōshi always manages to tease you about that day. he'd chuckle in the middle of a movie, or before going to bed asking, "hey, remember the day i told you i loved you?"

"and remember the time you thought i liked daichi?"

what a way to live a happy married life.

sawamura daichi

you're just a friend, daichi would remind himself. you're talking to him about how cool his receive was, and you're giving him a lucky charm, but he's not listening. because right now, all that matters is you. 

but you're not just a friend, are you? you're someone sawamura daichi holds so close to his heart, that it scares him. it's obvious to everyone, even the teachers—except you. 

because daichi and you have created that stupid bubble of friendship, that it's sort of adorable to see you interact. the soft touchings of your hands when you're passing something to the other, or the light chuckles when you're communicating through your eyes in the classroom, or how he always walks you home(then comes running back for volleyball practice). 

it's adorable, but at the same time, it's draining. because sawamura can't just tell you he's in love. he has to show it with his actions.

yet, even when he does, every single time, you mistake it as friendship. it makes him question his own existence, really, because he's trying so hard not to just burst in front of you. he's scared to say those words that might backfire at him. 

even sugawara has told him countless times, that you do, indeed, love him back. his anxiety is just always getting in the way. he’s always procrastinating—telling himself he’d do it soon, but he never does.

but today? he feels no anxiety whatsoever.

+

"so, why'd you decide you want to go to the temple all of a sudden?" he asks, walking up the stairs as you breathed out a long visible sigh in the crisp winter morning. he's looking at you, his hands stuffed into his jacket as you say, "i just... haven't come here in a long time. i thought it's time i pay the gods a visit. just because."

"you're supposed to continue that sentence," he retorts. you chuckle at him, finally reaching the top of the long-awaited temple, as you say, "i wanted to wish for something."

"so you're taking advantage of the gods now?" he mumbles. you slap his arm softly, making him giggle as you say, "no, it's just that i need a little confidence boost, okay? stop stepping on my belief here!"

"okay, okay, i won't! come on now, let's ring the bell," he gestures toward the shinto temple in front of you. you smile lightly, gripping a finger of his as you drag him along. he's mumbling about how you're supposed to go alone, and you say, "not many people are here anyway. i don't think it matters all that much."

after the two of you finish up and are going back down the stairs, daichi asks, "so... what'd you wish for?"

"can't tell you," you immediately say. his elbow brushes against yours as you turn into a beet red. he lets out a dry chuckle as he says, "let me guess. did you wish for the same thing i did?"

he's internally yelling at himself, asking his own heart why in god's name would he say those words. because for a fact, he knows that your wish probably wasn't the same as his. he's praying that it was, yet as his anxiety builds up into a tower taller than the skytree in tokyo, he regrets every word.

"i don't know what you wished for, dummy," you murmur, giving him an eye-roll as you rub your gloved hands together.

"you."

you blink twice. then you blink again as you turn around and yell out, "huh?"

"i wished for you," he looks down at his shoes, his brown eyes looking away with pure guilt as you yell, "wait, so we did wish for almost the same things!"

he looks up, asking, "there was more?"

"yeah, i wished for you too. but also good grades, i've been failing that stupid physics class that miss nari takes."

"oh god."

azumane asahi

asahi hates storms more than anything. his brain just always panics when thunder roars or lightning strikes, and he craves to be by someone whom he holds very dear to his heart. 

so, as you two walk back home from school today, he hears it. it's faint but he hears it. suddenly, a small bead of sweat is falling down his forehead. and his eyes are wide. his brain is racking up so many possible problems that can occur.

you're talking, but he's drowned you out. he can't break down in front of you—he likes you a lot, and he can't just show you his vulnerable side yet. what if you think he's too childish and distance yourself?

asahi remembers the time his mom told him to take deep breaths. he's doing exactly that, but why does he feel his heart beat faster? he's doing that, but he's still in a state of fright. 

why can't he stop panicking?

+

"asahi?" you ask, your eyebrows furrowing as you look at the boy's shaking hands. his eyes are shut tightly as thunder strikes again. you begin talking, but you don't think he can hear you.

"it's about to rain, azumane. come in, and wait it out before you go home," you gesture to your house. you were just about to enter, but asahi suddenly stopped.

you thought for a bit—the way he flinched while hearing the crack of the thunder, or the way his hands shake as it begins to slightly drizzle. then it hit you.

azumane asahi was scared of storms.

you grab his hand in haste, pulling him inside your home as you run towards your room. he was right behind you as you closed the door, still breathing a little too fast as you closed the curtains and turned on the lights.

"asahi," you say as he begins mumbling out incomprehensible words, "i'm here, don't worry."

he's still shaking as you sit him down on the bed, wrapping a blanket around him as you hold his hand in yours and say words of encouragement. you're rubbing his back, tracing small circular patterns.

"please don't leave me. i love you so so much, just please, don't leave," he mumbles into your ear as you hug him close. his body is shaking terribly when you stop rubbing his back.

a smile makes its way onto your face as you hum indulgently, "i'm never leaving your side, asahi. don't worry."

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[sometimesrosy]

what now? idk

TBH, I don’t really know what to do with this blog now that The 100 is over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s over, but I feel like just posting kitties and cool photo posts isn’t a good use of this spot. 

I really liked answering asks about the show and other stuff, and I kind of miss that, but not having the community makes it harder... even though I was unhappy with fandom for the last couple of years. 

What should I put on this blog? What would you guys like to see, if there’s still anyone out there? 

Let me tell you a bit of what I’m doing outside of tumblr or fandom or scifi.

Professionally, I’m ghostwriting contemporary romances. I’ve written about about 18 so far, in a couple of years. It’s hard work, it doesn’t pay real well. I can’t really suggest to other people, but it just manages to keep my head above water and I get to stay home and take care of myself and homeschool and write and be creative.

Reading wise, I’m leaning hard into the historical romances, and have been ever since I started ghostwriting. IDK why. I read one and write the other.

Writing wise, I am not getting very far on my science fiction books that I’m writing, nor am I getting far on querying for an agent for my finished novels. I’ve got Moonshine, which is based on a bellarke fic I wrote quite a few years ago, and then they’re Girl Of Freaks, which is a contemporary fantasy inspired by how annoyed twilight made me. Like. That’s not what vampires would be. Ugh. Whatever. That’s two finished novels I have that are ready for publication and me, having problems with querying and publication and staying on task. (sometimes I wonder if I too am ADHD after researching for my son’s ADHD. I have been doing a little poetry, too, although that kind of slowed down in the pandemic. It seems to be picking up now that we have a decent not terrifying president. I think I was too anxious to get my thoughts together to write poetry, which was disappointing because I was really getting into poetry.

I am ALSO homeschooling my two teens. One of whom is on the autism spectrum and has ADHD, etc, and one of whom wants to raise chickens. They’re 14 and 15.  He’s older. We’re reading greek mythology write now and writing essays. He writes about philosophy and psychology, and she writes persuasive essays about how we should have Disney+ and have chickens. 

That goes along with the gardening we’re doing. It’s a school project, but we’re also gardening for fun and health. so. We’re trying blueberries and green beans and spinach and herbs and tomatoes and ginger. 

Then I’m getting back into art, too. I took on a challenge on instagram to do 100 days of creativity. I don’t really know WHAT I’m going to do, but it’s essentially 100 days of art journaling as I rediscover what the hell I have to say as an artist. I’ve been doing so much writing that is where my energy goes. 

I am also working on an e-course about Writer’s Block. It’s specifically for writers, because I’ll be showing some writing hints, but a lot of it goes for general creativity. My main thesis is that writer’s block shouldn’t terrify us, but really if we pay attention and listen to what’s stopping us, we can actually learn about our own writing process and become better and happier writers. It’s turned out to be MUCH larger than I thought, a whole book, I suppose, rather than one e course, so I’ve broken it down into four courses, and I’m doing the first one on Overwhelm, which is self explanatory. The other three are; Fear (the internal demons that stop you,) The Narrative Itself (because your subconscious knows there’s a problem with the story itself,) and Not A Block, But a Fallow Period (in which you listen to yourself and DON’T write for a while.)

I suppose I’m also doing the health thing. I have hashimotos, which is basically why I was so sick for most of my time here and could barely get out of bed. Because of that, I’m eating gluten free and mostly natural, although ice cream and dark chocolate doesn’t seem to do any harm to me. So that means I’m also doing a lot of cooking, because processed food always seems to make me sick. Fun. On top of that I’m doing some easy going Yin yoga, or restorative IDK exactly what kind it is, but it’s mainly to manage pain and stay flexible after writing all day in a chair. 

So why post this? 

Because I guess I want to know if I should be posting stuff from my real life? Before, almost everything I posted was a response to an ask that someone sent me, so my entire blog was reader driven. Now I don’t really have that anymore, so it’s hard to know what anyone wants to hear, especially since I’m not doing that deep dive analysis into fandom or really any content. Any analysis I do is going to be impressions, or initial thoughts, not a dissertation like before. (It’s healthier for me that way.) 

So the question is, what do y’all want to hear about? Posts on homeschooling? Why? Most of you aren’t doing that? Do you want to talk to me about the historical romance books I’m reading? I could do that, but they can blur together, especially at the speed I read them. And because I reread the ones I really like a lot. I can’t really tell you about the books I’m ghostwriting since I signed a contract not to blab. They’re fun, I think. But you know. 

I could post my art work, idk. Not all of it is good. A lot of it is just about discovery. I could post poetry. I still haven’t figured out how to format poetry on this weird website. IDK maybe screenshots. I could post what’s happening in the garden. I could write about my ecourse and about writer’s block. Which I don’t have, obviously, since I am writing 3k words a day ghostwriting-- except I DO have it, every day. But I’ve managed coping strategies to work with it. I’m actually using it to deal with my struggles doing the e course. Listen this is how I get words on the page. 

I mean I post a lot of this stuff already on instagram instagram   https://www.instagram.com/rowenamurillo/ and on twitter   https://twitter.com/rosymamacita1 I’m mostly doing writer twitter, some romancelandia, some politics and feminism a touch of tv and movies. 

[laynemorgan]

I'm sure you've already provided it, but I'd be curious to hear your road to becoming a staffed writer. What first got you interested in it? Does it go back to school days?

Man it goes back far. I mean, I guess in some ways it doesn't. Since you asked more about what got me interested in where it goes back to, I'll give you the lest technical and more biographicl explanatin. My first goal was just to become a writer. I've been writing since I was a really little kid. I actually recently found journals from like the elementary and middle school days just filled with them. And it was never small scale, I'd always be planning out the whole fucking setting, how all the characters were connected, full universes. I made a fake fantasy. land in my backyard because my parents live on a lot of land. I called it Teleterania. I remember very little about it besides that that was the name hahah but I did do it!!! Everything I read only made me want to write. Everything I watched made me want to write.

Sometime around late middle school and early high school, I started watching more TV. I found soap operas and was OBSESSSED with their flare for drama. I found BTVS, Charmed, Smallville, Veronica Mars, OTH, etc. And all of those shows really got me actually looking at TV in a way I had never before. I got obsessed with their worlds and into their fandoms. I became the liek TV guy in my high school. There was even a group of girls I never got to really hang out with that would always call me over to their table to ask about what I knew about OTH stuff hahaha and 17 year old me thought that was awesome. Before my sister passed away, she and I took a road trip down to North Carolina to tour the One Tree Hill set. OTH was like the one thing that she and I agreed on. And it was so awesome. For me it was a first look at what the industry actually looked like, to see the sets and what went into it and all of that.

But I don't think my eyes really opened to actually WORKING in tv until college. I went to school for English Lit and Creative Writing in New Hampshire. My school had a great writing program and I was right at home there. i still credit my first writing professor who was only a grad student for really teaching me what I know about writing and editing and reading my own work for error and she passed me on to her favorite professor which was a hugely flattering moment for me. AND THEN -- I fell in love with PLL. And for me, that was really where shit started. I didn't realize it at the time and it wasn't even the show that did it it was what the show showed me. Through my tumblr at the time which had very little to do with fandom, I actually wound up running into Patrick Adams and Troian Bellisario. We all were always sharing each other's posts and at the time I was working for a journalist covering random TV out of a shitty free magazine in Boston doing work for peanuts. But I was going out to LA to meet up with a friend and we all decided to meet for lunch and they let me interview them for my magazine and stayed really rad people. They also helped boost my PLL photo recaps which I was doing at the time and those got the attention of the Director, Normal Buckley who asked me out to coffee and talked to me about my goals and what I was doing. He was the person who first really helped me understand that there's an approachability to the TV world that to me had always been this like magical hollywood bubble I didn't understand.

I went home THRILLED about LA, dropped out of college and set out to go to film school. From there, I hated film school because it was too technical adjacent, dropped out again, spent all the money I had on that move twice, and went home to boston broke and lost. I spent two years after that maybe more saving money, working in fandom, and waitressing while I went back to college online. That era wasn't super writing focused but it's where I found myself. I realized I was queer, I came out, I got into tumblr rpg, I met my fandom friends, I found tumblr fandom in a way I hadn't before. And then a couple years later I found tl100.

From there, the rest is kind of wonky. I had a big fan blog for the show and talked a lot about it on my twitter which lead me to many interactions with the writers who then invited me to dinner at comic con one year. I had a long talk with Shumway abut my goals and what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I wanted to be in TV somehow. I knew I wanted to be in writing somehow but I couldn't figure out how those two things aligned. I was doing a lot of journalism and critic stuff because that felt like the clsoest way to be both a fan and workin in the world I loved but it was really Kim and Shawna that opened my eyes to the ability to just .... be a TV writer. Film school had made me terrified of the wrtiing side but I think it was because film school was so much more about writing for film which I learned isn't my thing. But TV is a writers' medium, unlike film which is more fo a directors medium and suddenly I was like -- MIND BLOWN. It was everything I wanted in a career and married all of the things I loved. It was something that had previously felt like unattainable but they made it seem human and approachable.

They helped me get my first WPA job, I saved up 3 grand working and with the help of some friends and moved to LA to start that. And suddenly I was in a whirlwind of catching up on everything I felt like I had missed. I was reading scripts, learning what the process looked like, doing everything I coudl to figure out what being a TV writer looked like. After that job, I got another WPA job at Millar Gough on Into the Badlands and later Shannara.

THEN I got hired on Daybreak which I can fully credit with being a huge stepping stone for me and changing my life in a lot of ways. Aron was the best showrunner. He was educational and he taught us shit, he let us in the room, he let us write stuff, he let us pitch and try and fall on our faces and never judged us for it. My second season there he moved me up to writers assitant and patiently walked me through all the stuff I didn't know yet because he had faith in me and my voice and my ideas. He let me writ e afreelance episode that year and pitch it in the room and do all the things that real w riters get to do.

So after Daybreak season 2 got cancelled I was pretty ready to spend my next year or two just writing, finding an agent and moving forawrd. And then I got an email to go and work for Moira Walley Beckett. She was looking for an assistant with serious room experience to help develop something in a small room and stay on with her later. I took the job becuase she's MOIRA and I was stoked to learn from her and work for a woman for once. I ernded up very fortunate becuase a month later we were all surprised by the covid mess and I was fully employed that whole year while many people weren't which was a huge help. Moira was a STELLAR boss. I had thought I was ready and what she taught me was that ther's always so much more to learn. She walked me through the process of applying notes and taking notes and changing draft after draft of your story. SHe walked me through breaking a whole season of television. We had a great partnership for the year and I'm so grateful. And then that project didn't end up seeing hte light of day and we our separate ways as well.

Cut to a few months ago, I was still at home in Boston, post-covid, having been sick for most of january. My friend Rachel dared me to write a spec in a weekend for the Warner Bros fellowship deadline. So I did. It was a Legacies Spec. Given that we didn't have access to the WGA library because of the pandemic, Legacies was an easy and obvious choice. I had already seen it inside and out and didn't need as much access to learning a show from scratch. So I wrote what I loved, wrote a season 2 legacies spec that embraced my favorite things about legacies: the high school soap of one tree hill, Lizzie doing wild dialogue, buffy-esque monsters, and themes of grief and humanity.

AND THE REST you know.

Here we are. I'm still lost as fuck. I'm still running full speed through a world I don't always feel like I"m ready for. I'm still a perfectionist and an obsessive overworker. I still take notes I don't need to take and do work at 10pm and come in early and stare at the story boards. There's a whole journey in all of this about representation and coming to find myself and queer media and wanting to make more of it but that's one I don't feel like I can fully get into until I'm decades out of it and the world is truly made better. But I'm here. And it feels like the end of a journey and liek I'm standing at the edge of a brand new clif because I've only just started.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Thinking about the twitter "villain of the week" phenomenon and call outs that turn into dogpiles. Imagine you're with your family or some other large group for a holiday dinner. Everyone's eaten and you're back in the kitchen washing dishes, with someone else drying. Suddenly, the person drying the dishes notices you missed a spot on one of the plates. Now, people who aren't assholes (and even quite a lot of assholes for that matter) will just be "oh, you missed a spot" and hand it back to you to clean up. Because missing a spot when you're washing dishes is normal and no big deal. So you say "oops" or something and fix it and all's good. But maybe it doesn't go like that. Maybe they go "tsk, (your name) is being so irresponsible, they can't even do something as simple as washing a plate" and then suddenly your entire family show up with a list of everything you've ever done wrong since age 5. That would be utter bullshit, right? That would be emphatically not accountability, right? That would be your family deciding to make your life miserable just so they could feel superior or whatever, right? (That would be abuse, or at least something very close to abuse, since y'know it's important to name things what they are.) (I mean...a lot of people do the "let's talk about 20 different things you've done wrong at one go" thing without it being abuse per se...but it sure as fuck isn't functional.) (And no, the degree of the offense doesn't really affect things. If you, say, abandoned your terminally ill spouse to run off with the affair partner you'd been cheating on them with for the entirety of your marriage, that would be really bad, and it still wouldn't make sense for your family to all get together to tell you what a terrible person you are while bringing up things you did ages ago and so on. The focus should always be on making it better, not on painting the offender as a shitty person. No matter how big the offense. Figuring out who's going to take care of the ill spouse, not determining the exact level of assholery of the abandoning spouse and whether everyone should have known from one thing they said 15 years ago, right? There can be consequences, like not inviting especially nasty people to future events, without engagement.)

So, at one point I joined this one group on Facebook, when I was relatively new to social media. I mean, I'd been on FB for ages, but I'd just been following what my friends posted, I hadn't joined any groups specifically to engage with people that I didn't already know over shared interests. (A very different FB experience.) This group was nominally about being bisexual, but an awful lot of the posts (several a week) involved someone innocuously equating genitals to gender, or some other language thing that ignores the existence of trans people. (This was before I ID'd as nonbinary, but on a personal level that sort of thing still doesn't bug me. I recognize it bugs other people, and it is reasonable for people who do care about this to want other people to alter the language they use.) I'm not talking blatantly hostile stuff like calling trans women men. I'm talking the things that people who grew up being told there's boys and girls and you can tell which is which by looking at them, just do because they haven't yet adjusted their worldview yet. Intent isn't the same as impact, but there is a difference between an innocent mistake and outright hostility. And there'd be literally dozens of people making the exact same callout. And because there were so many responses, everybody in the group would see the post, because that's how FB's algorithm works. And then this would happen again the next day and a couple days after that. And I (being new to this sort of thing) was just like, wtf? Wouldn't it make more sense to set things up so that the mods have to approve posts so they can quietly shut those down and privately tell the posters what rewrites they have to make? Or at least shut down those posts as soon as a mod catches them, or make one callout and shut down replies so it doesn't turn into this snowball that you can't miss? If the problem is this is hurtful to trans people, why intensify that hurt by making sure every trans person in the group ends up seeing the post?

I eventually left.

I imagine people had good intentions, or at least thought they did. That "educating people" this way was the important thing. But thing is, mostly it teaches people that that behavior is OK, that behavior that recall I've already explicitly described as verbal abuse or at least as something very close to verbal abuse, and that's a terrible lesson. This is not how decent human beings interact with other human beings. In similar groups I've also seen one person make a brief call out and the called out person say "oh, I didn't realize, I'll (edit the post, or whatever)" and that's it, and that's entirely different, you know? A single low-key call out, not the entire group piling on. Which is why I don't really like the term "call out culture", because sometimes people have cultures around making call-outs that are actually healthy and reasonable and not abusive, that are much healthier than the cultural default of "if you bring it up, you're the one making trouble," and it really should be normalized for people to do small low-key "hey, you missed a spot" checks without it turning into "I don't have a racist bone in my body". If the person doing the dishes goes "I am a perfect dish-washer and therefore that plate is clean, and how dare you say I don't know how to wash dishes right", that's also a problem. But I do think we should have a way to distinguish between normalizing saying "you missed a spot" about social justice language, and normalizing everybody within a mile radius jumping on and amplifying the message and bringing the person's past behavior into it and also literally telling the person who missed a spot that they're a terrible person.

Especially since, y'know, follow the money? Social media companies financially benefit from those pile-ons. They encourage them. It's in their business model. It's "engagement." If you're cynical about corporations in general or social media companies in particular (and if you're on tumblr, you probably are)...then part of that should be recognizing when social media companies are manipulating people into being more assholeish than they would be on their own. Even when, especially when, it's done in the name of social justice.

[shinwhoohoo]

This is gonna be long sorry omgOn the differences in opinion- I think it has to do a lot with the level of involvement in B1A4 as a group. Seems like there were a lot of fans that were only fans for jy after litm but probably couldn't have named the other members so ofc they're gonna want jy back and take things like him leaving "b1a4 jinyoung" as his bio or whatev as a sign that he's "just left the company not the group!" (1/?)

(lmao can't believe that's still being said after A3 has put in so much work to continue as 3 like dont disrespect them like that please. They named their album origine for a reason bc it's like a rebirth lol jy is never coming back sorry everyone) And people that were like "who's gonna write their songs if jy is gone" w/o realizing they actually had 2 amazing songwriters in the group but CNU's songs were always crowded out by jy and jy always got the "jinthoven" credit or whatever. (2/?)

ANYWAY yeah i think it might come down to like singles fans vs full album fans if you know what i mean? i never had twitter so idk why it seems like more casual fans are over there though. On a side note I think A3 has made it clear that b1a4 is a three member group now and i don't see any future where jy would be allowed back in (not sure about baro, his situation was a lot different i remember talking to someone in like jan 2018 about how i though baro wouldn't resign his contract) (3/?)

Like i miss the 5 of them and i love them all but the level of trauma it was to A3 seems like it would be impossible to overlook. Like sometimes i wish i could be back w my ex but like it couldn't ever be the same as when it was good bc i've been hurt and we are different ppl bc of it and i feel like that's the same for b1a4 lol sorry to get personal. ot5 wouldn't be the same and what we have now with cnu, sd, and gc is better than anything a "current" ot5 would be. (4/?)

(but also my secret fever dream hope is that cnu and baro make some music together not as b1a4 just as a lil side project when sd and gc have to enlist lol obv not gonna happen but a girl can dream) okay that's it thank you for reading i don;t get to talk to anyone about b1a4 ever bc i deleted my tumblr and just come check in when something happens so i might have gone overboard but i loveee b1a4 so much and im sure everyone says this ab their fave group but b1a4 is special and the best (5/5)

Oh my gosh don’t apologize, there’s nothing I love more than getting a long ask like this!!

Totally. Jinyoung gained so much recognition After ‘Moonlight’ and being part of Produce 101 that a lot of fans probably just came on board at that time for him. And just being a fan of B1A4 because you’re a fan of his means you probably don’t follow what actually goes on with the rest of the members.

lol and I know-- you’d think naming the album ‘Origine’ and basically them talking about how it’s a fresh start as three etc. would be enough of a clue but again, who knows how closely these ‘fans’ are even following A3 now and what they say during promotions. It’s a shame though because they’re missing out on some really good CNU compositions. The whole ‘Jinthoven’ thing is funny-- at the time it started years ago I never thought much of it. But maybe it kinda got to his head after a while. And it definitely did overshadow the fact that CNU (and now Sandeul) also composes for the group.

The situation for sure seems different. I think Baro would probably be welcomed back sooner if it was of any interest to him. But Shindeulchan have for sure made it clear that the group is 3 for now. There’s been no mention whatsoever of ‘but we’ll welcome Jinyoung and Baro back’. There’s hardly been any mention of them, in general. And if there is, A3 doesn’t even refer to them by name so... yeah.

That’s a good point. When Baro and Jinyoung left, they started a new path for themselves. Prior to that, all five were on the same path, the same basic trajectory as a group who did so much together for 7+ years. Those paths no longer run together. So the last 2 and a half years has allowed them to grow differently, where even if they were all to get back together, it just might not be the same anyways. 

god a 2woo single of mix tape would have been fire. Yeah, probably not gonna happen but I’ll share that dream with you 🥲

Thanks for dropping by and talking with me about it!! Even if you don’t have Tumblr anymore, anytime you wanna drop and ask to talk, feel free to~!

[coastaldragon]

Dragon Diary 1/7/21

So...this is my resolution for the year.

I wanted to start a kin-related diary. I found myself missing how often I used to muse about myself and my experiences here, and have long since felt...detached from myself. Stuck in the loop of going through the motions of “human.”

A week late on my first entry, but so it goes.

These entries will just be flow-of-consciousness blabbles for the most part. I’ll talk about any kin-related thoughts I’ve had that day, how I’ve been feeling, how my otherkinity has affected my day, etc.

I have a lot of catching-up to do with you all, so the first few entries may seem disjointed and a little long. Lets get started. This is long. And a bit negative. But hopefully they won’t all be.

cw for death and drug mention and health talk like needles and stuff

I don’t quite remember why I dropped Tumblr like I did. I think I was getting annoyed at all the UI changes, and just overall very busy with “real life.” These things happen. I slowly drift away from a platform. Sometimes for weeks, months, or years in this case. Then I’ll drift back. Kind of like a scrap of wood on the waves.

In the time I’ve been gone life has been...interesting. The source of the stress that caused me to awaken in the first place is gone. He OD’d in...2014? 2015? Some time around there. My grasp of time is worse than ever.

We hadn’t even known he’d be using anything. Turned out he was stealing my late father’s remaining fentanyl supply. One of those guys who preys on widows like my mother. He lied about everything. His entire past as we knew it was a lie. And he was just leeching off of us.

It was...hard. I was the one who found his body upon getting home from work. My mother is still traumatized, even now. Even after all he did. She did love him.

I think all that hardened me quite a bit. And I’m sad for it. I’m still trying to soften myself again, but my trust has never been shattered like that before or since.

My now health is...poor. I had a great job working at an independent pack-and-mail sort of place for a few years. Very laid back, when the customers were nice. Helped me build a lot of strength and muscle. Quite enjoyed showing off by hefting 50lb boxes onto my shoulders. Helped me feel less weak in this squishy human body of mine.

But about...2 or 3 years ago [again, time is a myth to my brain] I woke up and my shoulders were just.

Locked.

It felt like someone had stuck paint spanners under my shoulder blades or something. Not only that, but I was weak. I barely had the strength in my arms to lift a half gallon of milk in the morning.

We thought I’d just hurt myself showing off, somehow. So we gave it some time. Took ibuprofen, used pain creams. Took a few days off work.

But it didn’t get better. It got painful. And the moreso. And moreso. And then my back began to have trouble as well. It was spreading. I felt...ill.

So. Doctors. Tests. More bloodwork than I’ve ever had in my entire life. [10 vials at once for one appt!]

My primary, who is a garbage person I never wish to see again, insisted it was just a sprain. Or something. Whatever. But I knew it wasn’t. My mother knew it wasn’t. Everyone I knew knew it wasn’t.

Specialist time! At the behest of my cousin, who has a litany of autoimmune disorders, we hooked up with a rheumatologist. Who I will call Dr.M. 

Dr.M is an angel on Earth. I am convinced of it. A full year he spent with me, ordering tests, trying treatments, working with me to figure out what the hell was going on. And we did. And what a mouthful it is.

Ankylosing spondylitis. No, it’s not a dinosaur. [Though I do think I’m ‘hearted for ankylosaurines...I don’t think it’s related lol!]

You can look it up if you like. But basically: My immune system is fucking crazy and attacks all the things. Most places describe it as being a lower spine disorder, and while that is certainly where its centralized in most folks, that’s not all it is.

For example mine is, obviously, centralized in my shoulders and upper back. But it does aaaaaaaaaaall sorts of crazy shit. Every day is different. Joint pain, exhaustion, GI trouble, stomach upset, lack of appetite, murderous migraines. The usual for an autoimmune illness. But also wacky shit like costochondritis [painful inflammation of the cartilage of the ribs], random organ inflammation like in my kidneys [not fun], lungs [I had a 3-month stint of chronic bronchitis last winter], and even my heart [very not fun.] Sometimes it likes to attack my “integumentary system” aka shit like my skin and hair meaning I’ll have weeks where my hair just. Sheds. Like a damn cat. It gets everywhere and w/ my long-ass quarantine hair it’s so annoying.

This attack dog immune system does mean it’s unlikely for me to catch little bugs like your common colds and stuff, which is appreciated. But it also likes to maul anything else it deems foreign. Like medication! I took Humira shots for a few months and had a “paradoxical reaction” aka it did the literal opposite of what it was meant to, because the injections pissed off my immune system so much it went scorched-earth on whatever it could. Mostly my thighs, since that’s where the injections were. I still get stabbing pain in them and it’s been over a year. [No, I don’t think I can sue Humira over this. Though I have discussed it w/ my Dr.]

This also means that if I do get sick, it’s bad news. Something strong and unique like COVID? Death. Deaaaaaaaaath. Would likely trigger something called a “cytokine storm” aka my immune system nukes everything and my organs die and so do I.

So guess whoooooooo’s been locked up at home for almost a full year now? :’)

I luckily am able to work from home, though it barely pays the bills, and my health has suffered from a lack of being able to Do Stuff I normally would.

As a result I decided to get back in touch with myself.

It started with Second Life, because of course it did. A new dragon avatar came out. Shiny and mesh and easy [by SL standards] to modify. So me and a few friends [some kin, some not] made a group for sharing stuff for the av and just hanging out. It’s fallen by the wayside unfortunately but those nights spent chilling in SL with a bunch of other dragons roaring and goofing off felt really really good.

And then I made a kin Twitter. [And found some exceptionally cool kinfolk in the process.] 

Then came Othercon the virtual otherkin convention and OtherConnect, the Discord spawned from the community that rapidly formed within the con. Othercon felt incredible. Panels and lectures about the history of otherkinity and alterhumanity and how we are today and rep in the media and just so! Much! Cool! Stuff! And tons of great kinfolk too! 

To not only be within a community but seeing others like me and speaking with them, not just typing back at words on a screen. It was...so very, very reaffirming. It felt like a second awakening almost. I wanted to cry for finally, truly not feeling alone.

And now I’m here. Because I need to be. Because something, deep down, is telling me I’m going to be needing myself sometime soon. So I’d better get started.

I hope I don’t drift away on the tide again. I’ve missed this site, worse for wear as it is.

But I’m a bit tired today. A nasty headache lingering from yesterday’s nastier flare up. Accursed cold fronts. I used to enjoy them but not so much these days. Ah well.

I know there wasn’t much kin talk in this first entry, but as I said, we had a lot of catching-up to do!

[lixrk]

plot call + muse update!

HELLO EVERYONE !!! my hiatus is ending soon so i wanted to make this post before it does to ‘get ready’ in a sense lol. anyways! first of all, lix finally quit his job as a host in a host club took him a while i know and has decided to... *drum roll* do youtube full-time! wow, amazing!

what does he do on his youtube channel?

dance covers, most of them he choreographed himself. he started doing vocal covers too!

he also vlogs, you know, for the views

mukbang with an assortment of cheap junk food

if you’re also a friend of his there’s an 80% chance he’ll try to drag you into his videos

AND NOW FOR THE PLOT CALL !!! i’ve been... super horrible with interacting with most of the people on here because i just stick to twitter for plotting and well, i don’t have all of you on twitter... and i wanted to change that! i want lix to meet a lot of your muses as well as make more meaningful connections, after all. so! this is an attempt at that!

under the cut i’ll be listing a few plot ideas that might interest you guys. please LIKE THIS POST if you want me to slide into your dms for plotting. you can also REPLY WITH A SONG TITLE if you want me to write up a random starter for you (based on a prompt generator or a sentence starter). thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to writing with all of you!

additionally, you can reach out to me on twitter (@wowyoungie) and discord (ask for the id) if you’re as bad with tumblr ims as i am (although i’m awful at messaging in general,,, i’ll do my best though!! i promise!!)

PLATONIC

a very close friend of his, his ride or die. they probably knew each other for a long while, and is aware that lix is... running away from his rich family lol

the one friend that helped him polish his korean... he owes you big time. he’ll share his pizza with you everyday

that friend that let him stay at their place when he just returned to korea before he moved out and found a proper roommate... this friend can be the same one that helps him re-polish his korean if you want!

since his family goes to korea every summer, friends that he made during those times!! he’d treasure every friendship... regardless of how often you meet up!

as of lix’s birthday, his dear roommate bought them two cute bunnies! maybe we can make a plot around that. he loves gushing over his bunny (which he hasn’t named... help him with that maybe hAHA).

people he can drag into his videos! it doesn’t have to surround dancing, he does random challenges too (for the views...) and you just somehow get dragged into it. he’s super embarrassed but you know, you do what you have to do. join in on his discount mukbang too

those who were his clients back when he was a host. his host persona and his real persona is a very different. in reality he’s mostly shy and easily embarrassed. maybe you ran into him expecting host lix but he’s just embarrassed and panicking and ‘omg they’ll think i’m so lame outside of work’

lix is a person that gets jealous quite easily. he still doesn’t have his life structured properly and you seem like you do. you seem to know what you want, meanwhile lix doesn’t, he barely knows himself. he admires you for that, but he also feels envious. bonus if you two are friends and it’s only a matter of time before he explodes on you

people his parents forced him to befriend, and though when he still lived under their roof he did befriend you, after he ran away he never contacted you ever again. he doesn’t know whether the friendship the two of you had was real, nor does he want to find out

alternatively, people his parents forced him to befriend, but he just doesn’t like you (and maybe you feel the same way or not). he tries not to let it show at the time, but after running away he starts treating you differently

he’s a bit awful at keeping up with debuted idols. teach him about them! make him stan a group! please please please! you can be his stan twt educator. he’ll do his best to keep up

trainee friends! he’s kind of jealous of you but he really wants to learn from you. whether you were friends before you became a trainee or after, it’s free real estate!

maybe you work as a delivery person, and you’re wondering why the hell this guy keeps ordering food at late hours into the night. he’s a night owl, mostly because of his previous job as a host club that usually occurs at night, and also because... he’s an insomniac

NOT-SO PLATONIC

exes. can work with girls even though he’s gay because it took him a long time to come to terms with it

if a girl, he probably didn’t give you all his attention. he doesn’t initiate any sort of physical affection, which might be the first thing that tipped you off that he isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are. 

if a boy, you probably witnessed his meltdown and insecurities firsthand. it was probably a quick relationship, because he panicked and couldn’t handle the pressure at all, ending things abruptly even though at the time he probably did like you. he just couldn’t handle the idea of being out of the closet

one night stands... that says it all. whether you were friends beforehand and got drunk and made mistakes or you were lonely strangers... anything is free!

friends with benefits... need i say more. could be a past thing, and now your friendship is on the verge of shattering or something

the one that got away? maybe you had feelings for him before. he knew about it, but pretended not to, because feelings are scary and his insecurities were just about ready to eat him up. whether you decide not to confess or you did and he let you down, things are a bit rocky now

an unrequited crush

on your part, it’s pretty much established that he’s awful at feelings so, that isn’t fun

on his part, it’s most likely a past thing. he was too scared to say anything about it, or maybe he did and you let him down, causing him to harbour a lot of regrets and ‘fuck i shouldn’t have said anything’ but time heals wounds and now he just misses having you as a friend

OPEN EVENTS

#rkcollab: collab time! lix is eager to learn more rapping and whatnot since he’s a beginner, but he also just wants to sing with friends on his youtube channel

#rkdanceoff: listen,,, he’ll love to have a dance-off with literally anyone, he’ll most likely upload it to his youtube channel too. be his competition! it’ll be fun, he won’t go down easy

#rkcharity: charity time! let’s do this! either you dragged him into it or vice versa. either way he’s not gonna half-ass this

[kaiternity]

some changes

no need for anyone to really read this, but there’s a sense of realization when something is written (that i apparently need), so here goes.

as i’m getting back to tumblr after a short break, i realized i have to make a few changes, so that i can continue being on this site happily. emphasis on happily. some things i’ve already done, some are left to be done, but i’m glad i’m taking the time to improve my experience here.

i unfollowed a lot of inactive blogs that i’ve been mutuals with for years. at first it felt weird, i still don’t know why it feels weird to hit the unfollow button even when blogs become inactive, but it just is. however, last night i did just that.

i unfollowed some blogs that i’ve been mutuals with for years but that don’t post about exo/as much exo anymore. again, this felt so weird, but at the same time liberating. i have nothing against the people behind the blogs, nothing at all. while everyone is free to post whatever they like on their blogs, i realized i’m also free to fill my dash with what i like and that is exo. there really is nothing more to an unfollow than just this.

i will check up more exo blogs and follow them. i realized that while tumblr really is dying, it’s also my fault if my own dash is dead. because i only follow a few blogs. so that is something i’d like to change.

i muted and keep filtering a lot of the tags/posts that simply don’t interest me or tire me. i didn’t do this up until a few months ago and wow i had really missed out! now that i don’t see the things or even the groups that are always accompanied by some sort of drama, my dash feels so much cleaner and i feel much happier.

i will become better at replying on time. while i haven’t felt like engaging with the friends i’ve made here because my job consumes all of my social energy, i’ve realized at the same time that i’ve missed talking to them. and if i keep telling myself i don’t have the right energy to reply, i’ll never find it.

i will care less and less over notes, until i don’t really care at all. i create a lot less than i usually did and it’s normal people forget i’m a content creator sometimes. while i have a tendency to not bother too much about how many notes my now rare posts make, i sometimes find myself falling down that hole. a lot less than before, admittedly, but it can always be better.

i stopped caring about my follower count. while i’m grateful for each blog that follows me, a while ago i would get upset over people unfollowing me. i didn’t think of the reasons why. some deactivate, others change interest, others don’t like a certain thing about my blog or my tags or something i said. i didn’t think beyond the fact that the numbers were going down. and it was wrong of me. in the end, i’ve also done the same and i’ve unfollowed a lot of blogs over the years, so why aren’t others allowed to do that? why should that upset me?

lastly, not tumblr related, but social media related. i will log out of my twitter account after jongin’s solo and at some point, maybe even deactivate it. that place is simply toxic. or maybe it’s the fandom. but while i don’t engage with the toxicity that goes on there, i realized that it still gets me because someone i follow will engage with it and i’ll have to see it, partly because i get curious. and i don’t want to be. i don’t want to do that. because it ends up tiring me. yes, twitter is faster for updates and news, but i realized i don’t need to know everything my bias/group does. no. i don’t have to know it all. it doesn’t make me a happier or better person. on the contrary, it just makes me want to feel more detached because there’s almost always drama accompanying it and i don’t want to be part of that. and i keep seeing even mature people becoming immature for stupid reasons. i don’t want to see that. i can’t tell people what to engage with and what not. so instead, i’ll do what i can and simply distance myself from all that.

i guess, what i’m trying to achieve through all these changes is a happier social media experience. i want to be happy! i don’t have time for anything less than that. i consume social media, not vice versa. i’m the one who’s in charge of my happiness and peace of mind. and if something doesn’t give me neither those things, then i don’t really need it in my life.

if someone ever reached until the end of this post, i hope you also think about these things and start taking control over your virtual experiences. like me, you’ll find it liberating. always ask yourself if something makes you happy. if the answer is no, then you know what to do. it’s as simple as that.

[heartofether]

Episode 5 - Run Rabbit TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S OFFICE.]

IRENE

I’m not—okay, look, I’m not recording this for personal reasons this time. I know last night was…really rough, and I should probably talk through it more with myself before I do anything irrational.

It really was just an awful night, huh? Not only did I cry in the Sonic parking lot, but I got home immediately afterwards and found out that the yellow mold had started growing in my kitchen. [SHE SCOFFS.] Yeah, not my night.

That’s not important, though. What is important is that… 

[SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]

IRENE

Last night, in the woods, I saw something that I couldn’t explain. Today, I am going to find it again and confront it—and this time, figure out what the hell it is instead of running away.

I guess this is sort of me taking you with me for the ride. It’s also for evidence purposes, though. [MUTTERS] For once, I have an actually valid reason to be recording myself. 

Here goes nothing. 

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE STAFF KITCHEN AT IRENE’S WORK.]

[THERE ARE FOOTSTEPS ACROSS THE TILE FLOOR.]

IRENE

Aden.

[ADEN DROPS A SPOON IN HIS SURPRISE.]

ADEN

Jesus—oh, Irene! Thank goodness, you’re alright. You, you startled me. [sigh of relief] I never heard from you last night after your…adventure, so I thought you had—

IRENE

[CONFUSED] Wait, you seriously didn’t hear anything?

ADEN

...no? You never—

IRENE

Aden, I tried to contact you through the radio.

ADEN

…oh. [HE REALIZES.] Oh! That makes sense. I swear, my radio got all static-y while I was watching TV, but no words were coming through. I thought it was broken. 

IRENE

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH.] That…that’s fair, actually. Look, I’m fine now, okay? That’s what matters. 

ADEN

Oh, that’s good. [STUTTERING] I definitely wouldn’t—I would have gotten fired if I had let you get killed by wild bears. [HE CHUCKLES.] Actually, wait, why were you trying to contact me?

IRENE

[HESITANT] It wasn’t bears, I promise. It was…something worse, I guess?

ADEN

Worse than bears?

IRENE

You really hate bears, don’t know?

ADEN

[PASSIONATELY] Obviously! They’re horrifying killing machines! How could you not be terrified of them?

[HE HUFFS.] What did you see, though?

[A BEAT OF SILENCE.]

IRENE

Promise you won’t think I’m crazy.

ADEN

Oh, I already think you’re crazy. You talk into your phone for a person who will never listen.

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] I do not—[STUTTERING] I mean—

[DEFEATED] How did you know?

ADEN

Carol told me.

IRENE

[MUTTERS] Oh, of course she did. [BACK TO A NORMAL TONE] Just please promise to hear me out?

[ADEN PONDERS FOR A MOMENT.]

ADEN

Alright, sure. Go ahead.

IRENE

I saw a big writhing monster rise up from the ground.

ADEN

[SUDDENLY OUTRAGED] Oh! Oh, okay! Sure! “Hey, let’s play a fun prank on Aden! He sure seems gullible and easy to scare. How about we make him believe that a big old beast in the forest—” 

[IRENE STUTTERS IN FRUSTRATION AS SHE ATTEMPTS TO CUT HIM OFF.]

IRENE

[OVERLAPPING HIS LAST FEW WORDS] Aden, I’m not messing with you. Cross my heart. I went to go check out the branches, and I turned around because I heard a scream, and when I turned back around, the branches and the dirt had gotten up into this huge living mass. I can’t make this shit up. I don’t even have a good reason to. 

ADEN

[SKEPTICAL] Okay…

IRENE

I even recorded it happening. I know it’s just audio, but it’s still proof. 

ADEN

Alright…

IRENE

[CONTINUING] And I promise I’ll play it for you if you just promise to come with me and help me find the creature.

[A PAUSE.]

ADEN

[SLOWLY] You…want me to…go monster hunting with you?

IRENE

[A BEAT.] Yeah.

[A PAUSE WHERE ADEN WAITS TO SEE IF IRENE IS JOKING.]

ADEN

Oh, you’re being serious about all this, um—Could I at least finish my coffee first?

IRENE

Take as long as you need. I’ll tell Carol we’re going out to do some field work, and then we can go back out to the branches. 

ADEN

You actually think we’re going to be able to find it? I mean, if it even is real and not just a figment of your imagination—

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] Hey—

ADEN

—then how can we prove that it even comes out during the day? Or maybe it only comes out when there’s only one person?

IRENE

[CONSIDERING] You have a point, I guess.

I have to check, though. I need to figure out what it is. Because if there’s an actual eldritch beast or whatever hiding out in our woods, I have a feeling that’s going to be just as, if not more dangerous than your average forest fire.

ADEN

[HE SIGHS.] You really believe what you saw?

IRENE

Yeah.

[ADEN THINKS FOR A MOMENT.]

ADEN

Okay. Alright, I, I’ll go. Just give me a bit.

IRENE

[SHE HEAVES A SIGH OF RELIEF.] Thank you.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE FOREST.]

[THERE IS FAINT FOREST AMBIANCE AND BIRD SONG IN THE BACKGROUND. FOOTSTEPS AS ADEN AND IRENE WALK.]

ADEN

You’re seriously recording this?

IRENE

If we’re going to run into it again, we need evidence.

ADEN

[HE SCOFFS.] Then take a photo and upload it to Instagram or something! A recording without any video hardly counts for anything.

IRENE

[SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE AND EMBARRASED] I...I don’t have Instagram.

ADEN

Alright then, whatever you have. Twitter, Tumblr, whatever. It was mostly just a joke.

IRENE

I don’t have anything, actually.

ADEN

Oh. [HE CHUCKLES.] Didn’t really take you for the “off the grid” sort.

IRENE

I’m not. I just don’t have room on my phone for any social media apps. 

[A PAUSE IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS.]

ADEN

Don’t tell me your entire phone is just those audio recordings.

IRENE

[SHE WINCES.] And what would you say if that was the case?

ADEN

Irene!

IRENE

[SHE GROANS.] Come on. I can still text, call, and check my email. I just...can’t do much else.

ADEN

[DISTRAUGHT] Not even listen to music? That’s a terrible and sad life to lead, Irene.

IRENE

I use CD’s or vinyl whenever I want to listen to stuff. 

ADEN

[TEASING] Oh, so you have a retro aesthetic?

IRENE

I have no clue what my aesthetic is. Can we please just find the branches?

ADEN

Whatever you say.

[THEIR FOOTSTEPS COME TO A HALT.]

IRENE

This is it.

ADEN

…so, what now?

IRENE

We wait, I guess?

ADEN

[WONDERING WHY HE AGREED TO THIS] Ah. Okay. 

What exactly were you doing when you saw it the first time? 

IRENE

Nothing? I was just standing here. I turned around, and when I turned back, there it was.

ADEN

Well then, maybe we shouldn’t stare at it.

IRENE

Good idea. [A BEAT.] Okay, how about this: we go sit on those rocks over there, wait for a bit, and then see what happens?

ADEN

[ANXIOUSLY] Or, wait, I have a better idea! We could just go back to work and pretend this never, ever happened.

IRENE

We’re already here, Aden. We might as well try.

ADEN

[WORRIED, BUT DEFEATED] Fine.

[THEY BOTH WALK OVER TO THE ROCKS AND SIT DOWN.]

ADEN

Now we wait?

IRENE

Yup. 

ADEN

[SLOWLY] What should we talk about?

IRENE

Um…I guess just, anything? What do you want to talk about?

ADEN

Hm… [HE THINKS FOR A MOMENT.] What kind of music do you listen to?

IRENE

A mix. Um, I like Fall Out Boy?

ADEN

[SNORTS LAUGHING] Fall Out Boy? Seriously?

IRENE

What? Their older stuff is good.

ADEN

Ah, so you’re only a classic Fall Out Boy fan.

IRENE

[SLIGHTLY DEFENSIVE] I just haven’t listened to their newer stuff, that’s all. I’m not trying to be an elitist or anything.

ADEN

[HE CHUCKLES.] Sure, sure. What else? [A BEAT.] If you say MCR next, I swear, I’ll never look at you the same again.

IRENE

[SHE SNORTS.] I mean, I dunno. Cage is good. I used to listen to Glass Animals a lot, too, but it’s been a while.

ADEN

Those are respectable choices.

IRENE

What about you? [TEASING] I’m guessing you only listen to the most underground of indie.

ADEN

Mm, actually, not really. I mean, I’m sure you’ve heard of Mitski, Superorganism—

IRENE

[OVERLAPPING] Mitski?

[A PAUSE.]

ADEN

Your life is a joke, Irene.

[IRENE STARTS LAUGHING, BUT ADEN REMAINS DEAD SERIOUS.]

ADEN

I’m serious. Your life is a joke and I have no idea how you manage to live this way.

IRENE

[STILL LAUGHING] Fine! Fine. I’ll listen to Mitski.

ADEN

Oh no, I’m definitely forcing you to listen to her on the way back. That’s a promise. 

[IRENE’S LAUGHTER DIES OFF, AND THERE’S A MOMENT OF SILENCE.]

IRENE

What else?

ADEN

I dunno. 

Who do you record messages for?

IRENE

[SHE BECOMES MORE SERIOUS.] What?

ADEN

If you don’t mind answering, that is.

[A BEAT. IRENE SIGHS HEAVILY.]

IRENE

My ex-girlfriend. 

ADEN

Ah. I understand not being able to move on from a relationship, [WHISTLE] trust me. Is there some sort of heartbreaking break-up story, or—?

IRENE

[GRIM] She went missing.

[SILENCE.]

ADEN

Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I didn’t—

IRENE

It’s fine. The wound is four years old. It hardly hurts to pick at it now.

ADEN

[SINCERE] Do you want to talk about it?

IRENE

[STIFLED] I mean, it’s kind of complicated? I’ll spare you the details for now. It’s just…I don’t know.

I just thought I’d be over it by now. That’s what those recordings were meant to do: help me get over it. I just keep obsessing over it, though. 

[ALMOST MOURNFUL] I try to look for the good in my new life, but I realize that she’s in all the things I think are good. I can’t even date other people—and I’ve tried. It doesn’t take long for the relationships to unravel and fall apart. [SHE SCOFFS.] One girl said it was like I was cheating.

ADEN

[SYMPATHETIC] People handle loss differently, you know. It’s okay to not be over it just because time has passed. 

IRENE

[DISTANT] Right.

[THEN, MORE AWARE] I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping this onto you. You’re my coworker, not my therapist. 

ADEN

Don’t worry about it. I’m always here if you need anything, work-related or not.

Have you tried therapy, though?

IRENE

I did, but it’s been a while. To be honest, at this point, I’m not sure if going back would—

[THERE’S A LOUD RUSTLING NEARBY.]

[EERIE MUSIC BEGINS GROWING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

ADEN

Did you hear—? [SUDDENLY PANICKED] Irene! Hey, stop!

[IRENE HAS ALREADY RISEN TO HER FEET.]

IRENE

Shh! [WHISPERS] I think that was the branches.

ADEN

[WHISPERS THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH] Irene, I think a big living mass of dirt would sound a lot louder than—

[ANOTHER LOUD RUSTLING.]

IRENE

I’m going to check it out. You stay here.

[SLOW AND CAREFUL FOOTSTEPS AS IRENE STEPS TOWARDS THE BRANCHES. THE RUSTLING CONTINUES.]

IRENE

[WARY] Hey…

Wait, is...is that—wo-oah!

[THE MUSIC CUTS OFF ABRUPTLY.]

[THERE IS A RUSTLING ACCOMPANIED BY THUMPING NOISES AS RABBITS RUN PAST IRENE, THEIR FAINT SQUEAKS AND WHIMPERS IN THE BACKGROUND. IRENE STUMBLES FOR A MOMENT BEFORE SHE IS HEARD FALLING OVER. A CRACKING NOISE IS HEARD AS HER PHONE SCREEN SHATTERS.]

[THE RABBIT NOISES FADE OFF.]

ADEN

[UNIMPRESSED] Rabbits. It was a family of rabbits hiding beneath the branches.

IRENE

[SHE GROANS IN PAIN.] Shut up.

[SHE SHIFTS TO A SITTING POSITION.]

IRENE

Oh, fuck.

ADEN

[WINCES] That screen is cracked pretty bad. 

Does it still work?

IRENE

[SHE SIGHS IN RELIEF.] Yeah, and it’s still recording, too.

ADEN

Whew, that was close. You, er, have all of your recordings backed up, right?

IRENE

No?

ADEN

[DUMFOUNDED] Seriously? You’re a young adult in the 21st century! How do you not know the basics of technology? Always back up your important files to a flash drive or something!

IRENE

Of course I know that. I just never thought to back up the recordings because…well, I guess I just never thought about what would happen if I lost all of them. I usually just focus on the act of making them.

ADEN

You probably should upload them somewhere else for safe keeping, though. In case your phone’s next fall is its last.

IRENE

You’re probably right.

ADEN

[NERVOUS] Can we please leave now? I don’t think your “eldritch monster” or whatever you called it is going to show up anytime soon.

IRENE

Yeah, let’s go.

[SHE GRUNTS AS SHE PUSHES HERSELF TO HER FEET.]

IRENE

Thank you. For uh, following me out into the woods and listening to me talk about my missing ex-girlfriend.

ADEN

Anytime! [HE PAUSES.] Actually, no, I never want to follow you into the woods to go monster hunting ever again. Er, no offense. Can you turn off the recording now?

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Sure.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today’s quote is:  “Real poetry, is to lead a beautiful life. To live poetry is better than to write it.”

Matsuo Bashō, 1644-1694.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

[epicstuckyficrecs]

Weekly Recap | September 2-8

It seems this week’s rec is making up for the short one I had last week XD Enjoy!

PS: if you’re a writer/fanartist and I’ve tagged you on Tumblr, but not Twitter (or vice versa), and you have an account on both platforms, please let me know! It’s probably because I don’t know your username(s) on every platform. 

~

Complete

This Bucky with This Steve by debwalsh/ @debwalsh​ (Actors AU | 1,8K | Not rated): Ascendant star Bucky with washed up but hoping for a comeback Steve...

💙 The Barnes Exotic Animal Rescue (for Magical Creatures) by Deisderium/ @deisderium​ (Shrunkyclunks, witch Bucky | 5,6K | General): In which Steve Rogers stumbles across the Barnes Exotic Animal Rescue for Magical Creatures, meets a witch named Bucky, accidentally adopts a unicorn, and never wants to leave.

💙 You be yours and I'll be mine by verzacefatale/ @verzacefatale (Post-CW |13K | Explicit): “Oh, god. We got married, didn’t we?” Steve sounds like he’s trying not to panic. “Seems that way,” Bucky says, before he bursts out laughing at the bewildered look on Steve’s face. “Come on, pal. It’s not the end of the world.”

Keep Me by dixons_mama (Evanstan RPF | 1,6K | Explicit): After working endlessly on interviews for Disney, filming 355, and now attending GQ's Men of the Year event, Sebastian is tired down to his bones. Yet, he he finds himself wanting to just be near Chris.

A Pal in the Hand is Worth Two in the Jacuzzi by dixons_mama (PWP | 1,7K | Explicit): Bucky asks for Steve's help getting off, being the good friend (that's also stupidly in love) he is, Steve obliges.

Quicksand's Got No Sense of Humor by paperstorm (Canon | 2,6K | Teen):  And Steve will be okay, because he doesn’t have any other option. It’s only a million tiny cuts all over his body, his heart, his soul, slowly bleeding him dry. How could be not be okay, when Bucky’s been through so much worse. (💙 Part 1 of Under the Dome)

Through the Monsoon by paperstorm/ @paper-storm​ (Post-CW | 3,1K | Mature): Steve’s expression is blank, empty, except for his eyes. A hardened, cold, unfeeling look is in his eyes, as they stare unseeing into the space in front of him. Bucky knows how this goes. It isn’t a regular occurrence, it's only happened a few times in the last half-year, but it isn’t good. Steve is an expert at shaking things off – which is either fortunate or unfortunate, depending on who’s asked about it – so when he can’t, it means things went really wrong. (💙 Part 3 of Under the Dome)

A Lifetime is Never Enough by paperstorm/ @paper-storm​ (Post-CW | 3K | Mature): Bucky reaches for him with his hand, eyes still closed, and Steve curls up against his side. Bucky’s arm goes around him, fingers sliding up to tangle in Steve’s hair. The sleep-warmed skin of his neck is a heavenly place for Steve to rest his forehead, tension going out of his limbs and greedily breathing in Bucky’s smell, his warmth, the safety his bed offers. (💙 Part 4 of Under the Dome)

Chasing The Light by paperstorm/ @paper-storm​ (Endgame fix-it | 7K | Mature): “The thing about you and me?” Bucky says, "is that the world isn’t as stubborn as we are. You’re right, I can’t promise it won’t separate us again. But I can promise we’ll find each other again if it does. Because we always do.” (💙 Part 5 of Under the Dome)

like rum on a fire by mcwho (PWP | 1,4K | Explicit): “You’re the one who wanted to see how far I could push you. You know how I like to follow orders, Buck,” Steve tells him, teasing drawl to his voice because Steve Rogers has never followed a goddamn order in his goddamn life up ‘til right about now.

Flaws by dixons_mama (PWP | 1,3K | Explicit): Steve catches Bucky scrutinizing his body, and while trying to reassure him, feels and smut ensue.

Recompense by debwalsh/ @debwalsh (Endgame fix-it | 2K | Not rated): When Steve Rogers travels to Vormir to return the Soul Stone, he’s greeted with an unexpected choice that will change his life.

Warmth by debwalsh/ @debwalsh (Modern AU | 5,3K | Mature): When Bucky Barnes receives the report that there is a guy lost on his mountain, he’s not prepared for the complications that ensue.

Wheels by debwalsh/ @debwalsh (Modern AU | 2,3K | Not rated): Teacher Steve Rogers is ready to settle into a lounger and enjoy his neighbor Natasha’s pool when he finds himself staring at the most beautiful man he’d ever seen already lounging with intent.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? by debwalsh/ @debwalsh (Shrunkyclunks | 1,6K | Teen): Steve moves into an apartment with a Captain America impersonator, and Bucky is the building super, and gets them mixed up.

💙 it takes a lot to know a man by kittyandmulder, steebadore (Modern AU |39K | Explicit): Bucky flips to the next page, and the world around him grinds to a halt as his brain struggles to process what he's seeing. The noise of the train fades and static fills the inside of his head as he looks down at the sketches of the metal-armed guy without the mask. It's—that's him. It's Bucky's own goddamn face staring back at him from this stranger's sketchbook."What the fuck."

Double Trouble by HeroicPinups, kittyandmulder/ @kittyandmulder​ (PWP, Steve/Bucky/Steve | 2,7K | Explicit): Bucky finds himself stuck in a super soldier sandwich. How unfortunate.

💙 time on my hands (could be time spent with you) by thedoubteriswise/ @thedoubteriswise​ (Post-CW | 23K | Mature): There’s no reason to be nervous. Steve’s just going to go see his best friend. This is Bucky, for God's sake, what could there possibly be to be nervous about? It's only been a little over a month since Bucky went under. He'd practically seen him yesterday.

~

Reading in progress

💙 Servitum by justanotherStonyfan/ @justanotherstonyfan (canon-divergent, Shrunkyclunks | 43K | Explicit): Steve's affection can be huge, almost palpable. His desire to take care of James can be overwhelming. But James can't think of a point so far where Steve's been overwhelming that he hasn't enjoyed immensely - and if they can roleplay some lifelong memories out of a spanking session, a shibari tutorial, and a carefully lit table, he's pretty sure providing Steve with the opportunity to do something he may not even be aware of wanting should go down a treat, and make for a pretty awesome afternoon. ( 💙Part 28 of the Honey Honey series)

~

WIP

💙 Cakes & Balances by mambo/ @whtaft (POTUS Steve | 16K | 8/? | Teen): It’s kind of hard to date the cute baker from down the street when you’re the President of the United States of America. But Steve Rogers will make it work.

oh the glory of it all by hitlikehammers (Post-Endgame | 4K | 1/23 | Mature): They end up stumbling almost unexpectedly into the white-picket-fence, apple-pie life they used to dream of. Except it’s not like that at all.

💙 An Escort's Guide to Navigating Tricky Work Relationships by Hopeless--Geek (wuzzy90)/ @hopelessartgeek​, Mystrana/ @mystrana​ (Escort AU | 24K | 4/5 | Explicit): Steve is an outspoken leader of the fight for escort legalization. He wants to show the world that they have relationships just like everyone else, but hasn’t dated in the past five years because he’s been so busy with work. Bucky’s still not quite recovered from a bad relationship with a boyfriend who degraded his choice of work. And while he can define professional boundaries like it’s his job (it is), Bucky’s not great at handling his personal life. A story of navigating tricky work relationships.

💙 This Side of the Blue by notlucy/ @notlucy (Mermaid AU | 121K | 33/44 | Explicit): A trick was the only explanation for what Steve saw floating there. This figment of his childhood. This myth. This legend. Within the tank, the siren bared its teeth.

💙 Political Animals by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades​, Deisderium/ @deisderium (Modern AU, politics | 29K | 4/9 | Explicit): Okay, so the real problem is that you shouldn’t fuck your arch-rival, political enemy, and the person you loathe the most in the world where you work. Or like, at least, you shouldn’t keep doing that.

~

Re-read

💙 straight from your heart by luninosity/ @luninosity​ (Stucky in Wakanda | 10K | Explicit): Steve doesn’t mean to have the orgasm. Not exactly. Not the first time, anyway.

💙 Tinder Is the Night by rohkeutta/ @rohkeutta​ (Modern AU, Tinder | 7K | Explicit): It’s the quality that gets him first. The profile photo looks like it's been taken with a semi-professional camera: it's sharp and remarkably unposed compared to most people on Tinder. The guy in the photo is the size of a fucking fridge but with Marilyn Monroe’s waistline, accentuated by the way he’s standing half-twisted towards the camera. He’s also in the process of getting arrested.

💙 If Only In My Dreams by odetteandodile (Modern AU | 28K | Teen): Bucky is a highly successful cooking and lifestyle blogger, the gay New England Pioneer Woman if you will. He writes all about life in his Connecticut home with his D.H. (darling husband). Only problem? It’s all complete fiction. When his agent Sam informs him that he's been offered an exclusive sponsorship deal with Stark Media and a three book contract to go with it, Bucky's forced to fess up to Sam, who's predictably...displeased. But Sam's also convinced the deal is too good to miss—even if they have to put on a little bit of a show in order to get it. So Tony and Pepper descend on Bucky and Sam's fake home for Christmas with a devastatingly handsome War Hero in tow, and their already complicated plan quickly gets even more complicated as Bucky finds himself falling head over heels for Steve. Can he keep it together just for the holidays? Did he ever have it together in the first place?

💙 took my love, took it down by LaughsAtThunder (Post-WS | 31K | Explicit): The problem, Bucky thinks now that he has most of his memories back, is that his whole entire world has always revolved around Steve Rogers. Steve has been always been half of Bucky’s identity. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers’ best friend. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers’ wingman. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers’ teammate. And now, well, now Steve had other people to fill those positions. And of course, of course he’d always been a little bit in love with Steve. So when he overhears Steve telling Natasha that he’s finally found someone he’d like to date, someone with similar life experience, Bucky clings blindly to the hope that maybe, just maybe, Steve is talking about him.

💙 Sex, Drugs, & Needles by OhCaptainMyCaptain/ @ohcaptainmycaptain1918​ (Modern AU, tattoo artist Bucky | 38K | Explicit): Bucky's a bit of a masochist in that sense – needles and the buzz of a tattoo gun have always turned him on... It’s even worse that this client is what they call a ‘needle virgin’. Doesn’t appear to have a piercing anywhere on him, and he’s already made it clear that he has no prior ink. Bucky’s always found something inherently sexy about being the first person to introduce another to that experience. He has absolutely no problem popping this guy's needle cherry.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

this is an outta nowhere question but what are your thoughts on Joker in Smash about a year since he was added? I've heard some folks say the reason the Persona fandom got so toxic is bc Smash got involved and I wanted to know what you thought since you've been in it way longer than P5 and Joker in Smash

Short answer: Yes AND No. 

Long answer (it’s me of course it’s gonna be under the cut due to length 8U):

I’mma be honest, there’s always toxic fans. I know Smash Fans (and Nintendo fans in general) haven’t exactly been peaches, esp when it comes to Twitter (which I think is also an issue atm). But there were toxic fans before than and there’ll be toxic fans later. It’s just life tbh. (dunno where to put this but I’ll put it here: Twitter nowadays is like 2012-2015ish Tumblr, different being Tumblr was a bit more hiveminded and if you disagreed with a popular fandom opinion you.....were kinda bullied let’s be honest so no one could really say their opinions. While Twitter now it’s not a hivemind but instead two sided extremist that you need to choose. Both toxic and similar but just a taaaaad bit different, I’d probs take the two extremist sides over the hivemind if I had to chose tho...even tho Tumblr had better content during that era than Twitter right now imo but that’s in general and not Persona only. 8U Tumblr’s REALLY calmed down since the porn ban I’m not gonna lie, and ironically that’s roughly around the time that Twitter started getting shitty. So like....kinda saying there’s a correlation, I think a lot of toxic tumblr people probably migrated to twitter, and while there’s toxic fans everywhere it feels like a lot gather on Twitter so it really highlights the fandom there sadly). 

From my experience (which is from P4 PS2 era onward, I missed the pre-P4 P3 PS2 era stuff but apparently there were waifu wars which from what I’ve found I probs would’ve just classified as “shipping war” stuff rather than waifu wars....and it seemed liked standard shipping war stuff from back then), the bigger a fandom grows the more fans it obviously attracts, but that also means more toxic fans too. And that’s why I say yes and no for the smash community, yes because they did attract more fans (and their community seems to be a bit toxic atm, like I get expressing your wants to a company and I support that! but the INSTANT you don’t get a specific character announced for the fighter pass and instead of just being like “oh golly darn :(” but instead “***** this place ***** Nintendo you all suck ****** *slur* *slur*” yeah no that’s a little....you gotta take a step back buddy, so yeah I’m sure there’s a bit more toxic fans in that fandom atm but they are also a BIG ASS FANDOM so I’m not surprised), but it’s also just the cause and effect of the fandom getting bigger in general.

It happened when P4 got it’s anime (btw anime fans ya still valid and are a Persona fan, just keep in mind if you wanna talk lore just know you did watch a very abridged version of the game so be aware you might have somethings wrong cause of that.....cause I’ve seen it happen.....DX btw let’s play watchers are also real Persona fans and I’d say even people who just like Joker in Smash are at least Joker fans and that’s ok too enough gate keeping guys DX), it happened when we started getting spinoffs, kinda with the P3 movies (only really cause FeMC fans were salty or P3 fans upset what was cut/changed, but it wasn’t on any toxic level tbh just normal complaints, I think the fact it was a movie instead of an anime bypassed newer fans than with P4/5 animes), it happened when P5 solidified it into the mainstream gaming market (I’ll stand by P4 helped break Persona into it via all the other avenues of mainstream, with P5 finally latching the main series into mainstream games.....I say mainstream cause spinoffs are looking the same as pre mainstream which.....>.> *shrugs* could be better imo), it happened with P5′s anime, and it happened with Smash Bros. And tbh I’m sure it happened or will happen with the Steam community (and Switch/Xbox if it ever goes there too) and P4G (P4 fans go through the same cycle of BS constantly, most of which I believe originated with the anime generation, that it’s hard to tell if there was an uptick or not). And it’ll probs get an uptick again with P6, and then P6′s anime. And maybe manga cause maybe P6 fans like the P5 fans and won’t listen when people say “don’t get attached to the manga name it’s probs not gonna be used so hold off till the anime” but hey let’s have drama for no reason cause we need it. 8U (obvie you can still like the manga name, it’s more for people complaining about name changes or not getting why Atlus just didn’t keep the manga name even tho an explanation is probs within arm’s reach and they were warned beforehand)

*sighs* Sorry back on topic, each time the fandom grows so will toxic fans. Tbh I feel like the phrase “toxic fans” are thrown around a lot. And it’s esp used for only....”haters” it feels like and I don’t think that’s right (cause it can be fans too), it just feels like ANY negativity (even constructive and kept reigned in by certain users) is viewed as that. Like take me, I’m sure I’m probs labeled as a “toxic fan” due to be being a Megaten/Persona fan but disliking P5 and talking shit/calling it out. But I try my damnedest to do that in the appropriate places (ie my personal blog, maybe a confessions place, or a thread/board that’s expressing negatives only OR it’s explaining/expressing pros and cons type of stuff, I find that to be the best because it keeps people who want to vent away from people who want to gush so no war happens, not saying I am perfect or you HAVE to follow this or you are toxic, it’s what I decided to ascribe to and find it works well and good enough and it gives me a better fandom experience). Aka, I don’t go on twitter to someone’s fanart of Yukari or Makoto and trash the character because I’m not a freaking asshole (or in this case a ~toxic fan~). But this also applies to the “fans” as well who will talk about something they like (character/game) but the ONLY  way they can raise it up is by tearing down something else (other character/game), it’s really rude and also toxic as well. Negativity is not inherently bad all the time, and Positivity is not inherently good all the time (with positivity it’s more of giving yourself a break from it rather than saying something positive can be bad at times, tho I’m sure there are times that-that has happened but it’s 2:30 am and I don’t want to think of an example for that). It’s how it’s used/expressed. I see the Twitter community trying to combat the “negativity” by trying to only spread “positivity” and I’m afraid 1) any negative expression, even constructive, will be scorned (I guess I’m afraid of us going back to a hivemind mentality again), but most importantly 2) the people trying to head it are going to be burned out and it’ll hurt them mentally (I do not want it to happen obvie, but I know personally it can wear you down which is why I’m concerned). Don’t get me wrong I love what they are doing/trying to do, but I think we’re generalizing the word “negativity” and “positivity” a bit too much and it’s just raising a few red flags for me (I’m just hoping I’m being paranoid/overanalyzing in this case). 

Uhhh there was one last thing I wanted to address.....Oh yeah gate keeping. I know you asked about Smash but this stuff is kinda related and hey think of it as a history lesson for the Persona fandom (or at least Nusona cause I didn’t have a game system in the 90s ;_; plus wee little me wouldn’t have been able to find P1/2 fandoms back then due to me not really using the internet like I do nowadays till around P3 was probs released). Plus you know how long winded I am so this is kinda what you sign up for, 3 am ramblings of overexplaining~! But gdi I will try to cover all the bases and get my point across in....some fashion. 8U

But yeah, Gatekeeping in relation to the Smash fans, cause I see Persona fans shit on new fans that got into Persona through Smash (I know above I said Joker fans are valid Joker fans rather than Persona fans, but I’m assuming they’ve yet to play/watch Persona and are just aware of Joker and are a fan of him vs the fans who saw Joker and then watch/played the games to get into the fandom. One set is a fan of a character vs the other set got into a franchise because of said character. Like I wouldn’t say I’m a FE fan cause I liked Marth/Roy in SSBM, which is why I have that distinction myself BUT if you wanna call yourself a Persona fan that’s valid, you’re valid, it’s whatever, I don’t really care about the details that much, I just have two categories for convenience). Anyway I don’t think it’s fair to shit on them. Same as I don’t think it’s fair to shit on anime only or manga only fans. Or if they got into the fandom through Nusona (Oldsona is P1/2, Nusona is P3-5 atm). Or Oldsona. Or another Megaten game. 

Maybe it’s cause I came from P4, where it got shit on cause it wasn’t (”dark”) like P3, it wasn’t (”dark”) like Oldsona, it wasn’t “dark” like other Megaten games, it got shit on every way to Sunday for daring to try to have a more lightened mood at times (3 murders happen, we see 3 dead bodies, a 6 yo dies onscreen, we have characters going through intense existential crises, we deal with characters mourning through death as well as other relatable struggles, basically shows our teammates die one by one in the final boss, having a chance to hear Naoto’s death scream on the phone if you don’t stop Adachi, just the “you didn’t save the person” phone calls in general, talks about society’s toxic gender roles and how it can negatively effect a person both to an extreme extent and minor, god forbid they eat an animal cracker to lighten the mood, and this isn’t counting the dark shit that happens in the spinoffs). As if P1/2/3 don’t have comedy, or any other Megaten game, all the demons are freaking weird of course there is comedy. Oh and it also got shit on for going mainstream first, and not even counting that it got shit on for spinoffs (which P3 was included but no P3 gets a pass for some reason), and the fact that it was shit on for not being P5 (before and a little while after P5 came out) because it wasn’t “dark” like P5 (fdksjafajkfljafj P5 has it’s moments, esp with Shiho, tho P4D did it first and went through with it, but seriously each game has it’s own light and dark moments and one isn’t better than the other only cause they have more of one than the other). And....*sigh* let’s just say thank god that I was able to buy other Megaten games right before the flood gates of shit came in, cause I dunno if I would’ve wanted to give it a chance if I had to hear my fav game shit on constantly. I say I dunno cause tbh I was craving more after P4 so badly I still would’ve probs gotten into it regardless of the fandom, I wanted more from the franchise even if it wasn’t 100% like P4. 

But tbh I don’t blame P5 fans, anime fans, or Smash fans for maybe not wanting to get into the rest of the series. I get old fans of whatever feeling like they are...I dunno being invaded? By new people in the fandom. Or their afraid of new fans not fully understanding the franchise (hey guys that’s where you teach people instead of try to passive aggressively try to get them to leave the fandom I dunno maybe make posts to educate instead of trying to push away??? 030). And change is hard and yeah. And maybe you don’t like the new game (keep in mind there’s a diff between saying “*insert* Sux” and “I don’t like *insert* because...” one’s shitting on something and the other is constructive), but hey shitting on the game they like is probs not gonna win them over to your fav game sflkdjafkjafja Educate and be helpful, don’t gatekeep and drive people away. That’s a sure fire way for us to lose this franchise (remember we almost lost Atlus all together, but it was able to get a 2nd life thanks to P4 saving it....tbh probably wouldn’t have ever gotten P5 nor SMTV nor any spinoffs if not for P4′s success with its game and anime, this is both a history lesson and a word of warning since it already almost happened once). 

Tldr; Smash didn’t help but it’s really just the fact the fandom got bigger and bigger fandom means we also end up getting more toxic fans mixed in. Twitter now is basically 2012-2015!Tumblr (diff is Tumblr’s was a hivemind vs Twitter’s now extremist two sides only thing), and Tumblr’s porn ban probably migrated a lot of their toxic fans to Twitter which probs hasn’t helped any fandoms on there. Negativity in general isn’t an issue, it’s if you’re being an outright asshole where it’s an issue. Don’t be an asshole in general, if you need to vent then vent where you need to, if you wanna gush then gush were you need to and without bringing anyone/anything down obvie. You are a Persona fan, regardless of where/how you started. Don’t gatekeep for the love of god, or so help me Jack Frost will sneak into your house and smack you in the face with a snowball (and if he doesn’t then I will.....jk...half jk 8U). Also *sprinkles of (allusions to? I dunno I tried it’s 3 am and my 2nd try on answering this and the first one was just as long) Silly’s Persona fandom history lessons throughout the post*

[kindaline]

FANFICTION TROPES; tier list

since i just announced an almost 2 week hiatus on wattpad, i wanted to post something writing (fanfiction) related here!

(i saw a youtuber do this, here’s the link to that vid xxx)

also because i can’t explain the way she did why she put certain ones higher or lower, i’ll just write a lil explanation for every one of them!

let’s get it! (woah been a while since ive said that jsjdajdf)

‘i- pls no’ category: 

amnesia fic; i just don’t really like this plot in anything, so this ain’t really a surprise tbh

arranged marriage; this fits the category name very well, just don’t pls... it’s not a fun dynamic to create romance by forcing characters together

baby fic; there are a few exceptions, but i usually don’t start reading something for it - but will keep reading a fic if its introduced further down the line

body swap; that is just a NO. that creates awkward and perverted situations, and i honestly hate both with a burning passion. to feel second-hand embarrassment is not why i read ffs.

major character death; i already am depressed af so i don’t need this in my life

fairytale au; i just don’t enjoy the magic element, i grew out of it pretty quick. the last time i liked something magical fairytale-ish related was when i was like 6.

gen fic; okay i did not know what this meant, but my hopeless romantc soul ain’t about that life kjdsnfdks

magic au; same thing could be said about this one and the fairytale one.

time loop; it’s just idk, not something i would read - even in shows i don’t really like it, since i think it makes the story hard to follow

pregnancy fic; as someone who reads mostly taekook and a few exceptions but still mlm fics i think that speaks for itself, not an mpreg kinda gal

sex pollen; this concept started out well, then went down the drain with the alien-y vibezz, other than that it would be good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

‘depends on the execution’ category:

abo; i don’t really read abo unless im there for the smut tbh... (i do be getting real comfy here tho saying that kdfskdjf)

crossover; same goes for this as for the pregnancy fic one, i read bts fics so the only crossover we gettin’ is other kpop idols showing up aka jackson wang lmao

dark fic; although this is what you could categorize the story im writing but not publishing as of my ocs, as i said before im depressed af and dont need to be even more

canon divergence; i mean as a taekook fic writer this be what im doing with everyone of my stories dkjsfdjs

established relationship; i put this in this category bc i can’t execute it without it being boring since i build most of my plots around the relationship that’ll be the end result, but i do read it if someone manages to pull it off

fix it fic; i mean depends what we are fixing, bc in my context i be just going au all the way lmao

miscommunication; again, awkward situations are my worst nightmare so-

unhappy ending; i guess depends on how bad it is, if it ain’t like character death i can bear it

‘sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯‘ category: (this a mood tho jdksj)

angst; i can take some of it, it be making things interesting - or like i use it to make things that lmao

bang or die; tbh i was this close to putting it higher... but also by ‘sure’ i mean that i’ll read it 9 out of 10 times so...

crack fic; for entertainment porpuses and an easy read (for ex. insta/twitter au) it’s good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

humor; all stories should have at least a lil in them!

fake relationship; it’s arranged marriage’s long lost sister who is the less toxic version of that 

high school au; i read a ton of it since most aus are set in a school environment, but usually its not the main focus so ended up putting it here

in vino veritas; aka drunk confessions - it’s good, something you can spin things off of or help build the tension with (saying that like im a professional lmao)

unrequited love; i don’t read a lot of it, but i’ve read ones that keep up with that through 90% of the fic and it was good so thats a sure

‘i like it, its okay’ category

college au; as someone who’s written more than one and mostly reads taekook fics set in college that’s a yes from me, not something i am actively looking for tho

fluff; i write and read it, sometimes i melt from it sometimes i don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

first kiss; i’ve done this almost every time in my fics, sooooo-

historical au; IF ITS DONE WELL ITS GOOD AF!! (my hamilton phase having ass thrives off of it kjfdskfjsv)

missing scenes; i think as someone who writes taekook and includes actual moments of them in my stories i kind of have to fill up the missing pieces of said cute moments so i do this, and see others do so as well

royalty au; i don’t read a lot of it, but sign me up for some majestic beauty of a kim taehyung being royalty anytime

slow burn; don’t read much of it on wattpad, but all my fav ao3 fics are slow burn and like a lot of words ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

love triangle; i don’t openly say this or anything but i do read it from time to time and enjoy it those times so...

‘LUW IT’ category:

sharing a bed; if you look at my reading lists on wattpad you’ll know why this is here ksjfsjfk

mutual pining; i do be writing this each and everytime without even meaning to, so that also explains why this is here

coffee shop au; AS THE WRITER OF STUDY SESSIONS, no but really i do be writing and reading a lot of it lmao

enemies to lovers; read a lot of it, love it a lot - fav ao3 fics are almost all enemies to lovers soooo-

friends to lovers; all my favs are either enemies to lovers, friends to lovers or bed sharing ones i-

hurt comfort; my heartu we luw luw emotionally supporting others in this house

huddle for warmth; sharing a bed and this go hand in hand and we love to see it

pwp; i *cough* yeahhhhhh, just yeahhhh

soulmate au; we love soma-ultes lfjskdjfksdjf

and that would be it! <3 

until my hiatus ends on wattpad i hope to be more active on here, so the ppl who follow me with tumblr accounts can be happy lmao