#i’ll never forgive netflix for depriving me of them

[yan-purgatory]

Netflix and Kill

request: CHANGKYUN possessive yandere! Where he's your quite neighbor who slowly opens up to you but you have a house Netflix date with another member, he can't handle that, time skip you go to your kitchen to get some midnight snacks(same night after the date) and find kyun in the kitchen sitting in the dark etc etc👀

pairing: changkyun x reader

word count: 1.8k

admin: ღ

The first time (Y/N) had “met” their neighbour was the day after they moved in. There was a knock at the door, leading (Y/N) to abandon the assembly of their IKEA wardrobe and greet her visitor. By the time they were at the door however, there was no person but rather a box of fresh cookies, and there was a young man walking away. (Y/N) stepped out to try to talk to him and thank him, but he just walked straight back into his apartment and locked the door.

(Y/N) picked up the box with a smile on their face, the smell bringing a rush of happiness and peace to their exhausted body after days of heavy labour. Meanwhile, her neighbour was just watching through his peephole to see their reaction, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in in seeing the delighted smile of his new neighbour.

Changkyun collapsed on the sofa. He didn’t know why his heart was beating so fast when he hadn’t even interacted with them, when most of the people he saw on a day-to-day basis disgusted him and he had to put on the facade of kindness in order to advance in society. Yet, he was secretly yearning to speak to his new neighbour, a completely foreign feeling to his cold heart. Even if he’d put in the bare minimum effort by buying some simple cookies from the bakery, they seemed to treasure his gift and he liked that feeling.

Before he quite knew what he was doing, he was writing an email to his landlord to ask for the new resident’s name. There was a pit of worry when he hit send that his request would not be received and he would never be able to learn enough about the person who was occupying his brain.

Luckily, by that evening he had his reply, and his night was spent scouring the internet, fascinated by the enigma (L/N) (Y/N).

~ ღ ~

The next time that (Y/N) encountered their quiet neighbour face-to-face was a week later, when checking their mail in the morning. He was already there, a few envelopes in his hand and ready to leave only to stop in place when he saw (Y/N).

“Hi.” (Y/N) smiled awkwardly. “I don’t think I’ve had the chance to introduce myself.”

He nodded, not saying a word with his eyes trained on them.

“My name is (Y/N), and I’m the new chef at the Traveller.” They said, stretching out their hand for him.

Of course, Changkyun knew that but he didn’t dare tell them that. (Y/N) didn’t need to know how he’d spent long nights pouring over the social media of them, their friends, their family, just shooting any form of the drug that was (L/N) (Y/N). Nonetheless he took their hand in his own and gave it a firm shake, enjoying the soft feeling of their skin against his. It was better than anything he’d absorbed from the computer screen.

“Changkyun.” He replied shortly.

“Your cookies were delicious, by the way.” (Y/N) offered him a grin as they withdrew their hand from the slightly too long handshake.

“Thank you.” A ghost of a smile ran over his lips. “I’m afraid I’m not much of a cook otherwise.”

“Well maybe I can teach you. It is my job after all.” His neighbour said cheerily. He nodded and pushed past them to leave the mailroom, hoping they couldn’t hear his racing heart.

By God, Changkyun had never been so infatuated with anyone in his life. There was something about them, about the way that they smiled at him that made him feel alive.

~ ღ ~

In the passing months, (Y/N) found themselves establishing a closer bond with Changkyun. Teaching him how to cook their favorite dishes, helping him decorate his drab apartment for Christmas, listening to the playlist he made for them on spotify. All the while, his obsession with his neighbour was spiralling downwards - when (Y/N) stood a bit too close to him, the desire to bury his nose in his hair and breathe in their gorgeous scent was almost uncontrollable. When (Y/N) would stagger up the stairs drenched because they forgot an umbrella, his hands twitched to remove their wet clothes and run his hands down their naked body. (Y/N) had become his night and day, and they didn’t even know it.

He’d taken to walking around the block at 8PM on Thursdays, since usually (Y/N)’s shift was over and they would be walking back only to coincidentally run into Changkyun and have him accompany them home. However, when he engaged in his daily ritual on that night, he saw no sign of his neighbour. Clearly, their work was taking over their life - he was considering phoning their boss as their boyfriend to ask that she doesn’t work any more overtime, since it was depriving them of time together. A little white lie never hurt anybody, no?

However, just as he was arriving home and unlocking his door, he heard the familiar soothing sound of (Y/N)’s voice.

“No way! I swear, I’ll kill you one day.” Their laughter was medicine to his ears, but he froze in place when he heard another voice accompanying it.

“You’d never do that, you love me far too much.” The words sent shivers down Changkyun’s spine. Was there a secret boyfriend behind the scenes that he didn’t know about? Had he spent all this time chasing after someone who had already been taken?

(Y/N) didn’t even pay any attention to Changkyun, rooted to the spot in front of his door - as they dragged their partner over to their flat and continued to babble on.

He felt himself shaking with rage, at himself and at her. How could she seek out the company of someone else when he was always there for her?

All ideas of going to bed were now abandoned, as Changkyun abandoned his home to sit outside of (Y/N)’s door and listen in on the interaction.

He heard the ‘Ba-Boom’ of Netflix turning on, the sound of popping corn, and then relative silence whilst (Y/N) and their vermin watched some film together bar the occasional snarky comment.

It was practically torture, knowing that (Y/N) was with another man, possibly even cuddling with him. Changkyun wanted nothing more than to rip the bastard into shreds, but he had to be patient.

As the hours trickled by, he felt his eyelids starting to droop. Surely a coffee wouldn’t hurt, he posed to himself. If he had the caffeine, he could stay up and talk to (Y/N) long after that vermin had scampered. It was when he was on his way out of the apartment holding the steaming cup of joe that he ran into the man who had been plaguing (Y/N). And like that, an idea popped into Changkyun’s head.

“You’re (Y/N)’s newest victim then?” He spoke in a low voice, hoping that regardless of what state (Y/N) was in they wouldn’t hear him.

Kihyun gazed at him quizzically.

“What do you mean?”

“I see men like you in there most nights of the week. They’re practically the village bicycle.” Changkyun scoffed, taking a sip of coffee.

“We just watched a few movies, we didn’t fuck?” His rival retorted, but Changkyun just laughed coldly.

“They’re buttering you up. I wouldn’t expect them to be ‘friends’ with you for much longer.”

“Why are you- never mind.” The man sighed, turning on his heel to leave the building.

“Have a nice night!” Changkyun called after him, barely able to contain his shit-eating grin. Yes, it was satisfying to indulge in (Y/N), to admire them like anyone else. But it was way more fun to see the ones once enamoured with the ethereal being scamper away with their tail between their legs.

With the nuisance gone, Changkyun decided to enter (Y/N)’s apartment. The door was left slightly ajar, practically inviting him into the warm haven.

His angel was passed out of the sofa, having been tucked up nice and warm in a cozy blanket. He stopped to admire their perfect face, barely lit by the dim light of the television screen.

He found himself a seat in the kitchen to indulge in his lukewarm coffee as he waited for (Y/N) to awaken, so they could have a nice little chat.

~ ღ ~

When (Y/N) woke up, their apartment was dark and Kihyun was long gone. Brushing off the disappointment that came with no longer having his pleasant company, they sat up,

their stomach was screaming at them. The only food they’d eaten that night was the popcorn with Kihyun - they’d planned to cook a meal for the two of them, but exhaustion had won over them and they embarrassingly fell asleep in front of the movie before they even had the chance to offer.

Even if they regretted being an awful host to Kihyun, their hunger was a more pressing concern as they plodded into the kitchen to find something. Their mind was so occupied by their stomach in fact, they didn’t even notice Changkyun’s presence.

They found a packet of instant ramen shamefully hidden at the back of their cupboard, and were just about to heat up some water when a familiar chilling voice spoke up.

“Did you have a nice evening?”

They turned to finally notice Changkyun, leaning back in one of her chairs like he owned the place.

“Changkyun…? What are you doing in my kitchen?” (Y/N) rubbed at their eyes to make sure they weren’t dreaming.

“I thought it would be nice to pay you a little visit. It seems I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.”

He stood up and approached them, his aura more intimidating than they’d ever seen before.

“Who was he?” Changkyun snarled, his hand shooting out and gripping so tightly into (Y/N)’s neck that the nails were digging into their skin. “That son of a bitch you spent the entire evening with, leaving me out in the cold?”

“He’s just my colleague! Nothing more!” (Y/N) insisted, tears welling up in their eyes.

“Is that so?” (Y/N) was shoved onto a chair, with Changkyun standing over them. “Because I think some boundaries were overstepped. You don’t quite understand that you should belong to me, and me alone. You’ve severely betrayed my trust, and you should have to beg for my forgiveness.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“You’re going to phone them tomorrow and resign. Do you understand?” He breathed out, ignoring their scathing remark. “Your workplace doesn’t deserve a worker who will whore around with whoever pays them attention.”

He seated himself on their lap, his face getting dangerously close to them. It was then they felt cool steel pressing against their neck and realised he was brandishing one of their chef’s knives.

“You don’t need your job. You don’t need anyone else. You just need me.”

[words-writ-in-starlight]

the untamed is on netflix, right? i think i've seen it. i'm enjoying your posts about it and my mom would love if i watched a chinese show (it looks chinese, i might be wrong though) but i'm kinda short on time so please pitch to me why i should watch it so i will be convinced and look past the lack fo time

Anonymous asked:

ok the untamed looks cool af how doesone watch it 

A L L R I G H T I’m finally going to make a rec post, I’ve put this off long enough.  You’ve definitely already started to watch it, clever, so please forgive me for using this as an excuse to pitch this show.

So, for starters, Anon, The Untamed is indeed on Netflix!  It is in Chinese!  If you (like me) do not understand Mandarin Chinese, the Netflix English subbing is…fine, it’s fine, but I recommend poking around in the fandom because every single form of address is changed to the character’s full name.  And maybe I just spent too much time doing translations for my old Spanish and Chinese and especially Latin classes, but I think there are some things that, A, shouldn’t be translated or, B, should be translated awkwardly over being translated incoherently.  

I digress.  My thoughts about maintaining forms of address in their native language for the sake of clarifying levels of respect/etc are not relevant here.  Chuck a note in my inbox if/when you get confused about everyone’s three names and I’ll write/link you a guide.

POINT IS.  The Untamed is an adaptation of the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi, which is generally translated as “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,” and my quick pitch for it is: There’s a plot, sure sure, it’s the story of Wei Wuxian (his fall from grace to Most Hated Person In Magic!China, and then his resurrection and efforts to solve a murder), and if you like character-driven fantasy narratives you Will Like This

B U T

You know that post “but is he…you know…your narrative foil?”  That’s this show.  If what you crave is “one character committedly pines over another for twenty years even when the entire world hates that person,” please let me interest you in Lan Wangji, the love interest.  They have a kid together.  It’s a great romance.  Literally what else do you want from me.  I love a narrative foil, I love a tragedy, I love an epic love story, I love a found family.  And good GOD do I love a character who self-destructs in an effort to do the right thing.

Wei Wuxian isn’t evil.  He’s not even especially malicious.  But when the chips were down and he needed to survive, and to save people, and to figure something out, he took the only avenue left to him, and it was—it was inevitable, really, that it make him the villain of the piece.  He saved a lot of lives.  Everyone except Lan Wangji hates him for it.  He’s already thoroughly despised by the time he starts actually doing things that are objectively bad.  Talk to me about it forever.

My usual list of free-form associative Things I Like That You Will Probably Also Like under the cut:

Wei Wuxian!  I know he’s the main character but I love him so much that he gets a bullet point!  He’s the kind of lighthearted goofball who’s perfected the “I Would Honestly Die Before Showing Emotion To Anyone, How Dare You Imply That I Am Not Sincere In My Perpetual Good Humor” mask, and it hits like a sledgehammer when that mask cracks.  I would watch this actor flip between smiles and homicidal rage all day.  He gets a hug from Son Boy in the last episode and I almost cried.  50000/10.

Lan Wangji!  A great love interest!  Noble to the core!  Incredibly bitchy!  I want five more just like him!

This is where I mention that China has strict censorship laws, so, despite the fact that they kiss and have sex and get married and the whole nine in the book, the show is all Intense Staring And Love Declarations Where They Never Say The L-Word.  But like.  Please trust me, it’s actually So Romance.  If anything I think I like the  romance in the show better.

Wen Ning!

I don’t have anything else to say about him, I just love him so goddamn much.  He and his sister Wen Qing are stars and the rest of these sinners don’t deserve them.

COMPETENT. VILLAINS.  I’ve spilled a lot of ink on this one lately, but I love competent villainy, I love villains who have Goals and plan to Achieve Them and actually pull it off.  Jin Guangyao, the big bad of the “present”(the part where Wei Wuxian is resurrected and kicking around trying to solve a murder), is actually phenomenally good at his job and I support him even though I enjoyed watching him go down in flames.  There are enough villains in this show for everyone to have their preferred type of villain, from Devoted Right Hand Man to Megalomaniacal Overlord to Freewheeling Engine Of Death.  GREAT villains in this show.  Which brings me to…

YI! CITY! ARC!  I’m not going to tell you that much about it, but it’s dark and tragic and features my very favorite villain in the entire show, Xue Yang, who is just.  *chef kiss*  A horrible monster of a man.  An unapologetic, cold-eyed shriek of a villain.  The very best at what he does, and what he does is absolutely horrible, and I would watch an entire series about this five-ish episode arc.  Also, I’ve adopted Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen from the Tragic Ships Shelter and someone should toss me a headcanon ask for them.  Any AU your little heart desires.  I love them.

THE MAGIC!  I know it took me a long time to get here, but it’s a very character driven show and I am a very character driven person and I just wanted to yell about characters for a minute.  But anyway, I’m told that the Untamed is a great onboarding point for this genre of Chinese fantasy novel, because they do a really good job of making the necessary points accessible.  I had no familiarity with wuxia/xianxia/etc when I started watching this and everything about cultivation made sense to me, or at least enough sense to be going on with.  It’s very lovely and fascinating and it’s where they put their Entire Non-Clothing Budget.

This is where I mention that their effects department clearly used their entire funding for, like, cool sword stunts and beautiful clothing.  The wolf puppet in particular is just.  Almost adorably terrible.  If that’s going to severely impact your enjoyment, Idk what to tell you, man.

Related to the above, I love plotlines about characters losing control of their magic.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.

Unreliable narrators, baby! They set up a lot of concrete facts about Wei Wuxian in the first two episodes that become obvious as complete bullshit as you go on, and it’s very satisfying to watch!  See also, Nie Huaisang, the most unreliable narrator of them all, whom I adore.

Beyond all those things…it’s just got a lot of great relationships in it.  It’s hugely driven by the affection people have for each other, or the places they feel they’vebeen deprived of that affection.  It has a lot of iterations of the same relationship in wildly distinct ways, if that makes sense—offhand, there are maybe four major sets of siblings, five if you count the Jins, and they are all radically different and insanely compelling.  The basic structure of Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, the “black cultivator/white cultivator on a crusade to change the world” thing, appears a lot of times, and goes horribly awry in a slightly different way for all of them.  That kind of in-universe repetition of themes, doing the same thing over and over again looking for the Right Path, is one of my favorite things to appear in a story—see also, the Kencyrath (twins, Dreamweavers, Knorth lords, loyal Kendar, etc), the Animorphs (warrior teams, deaths on the field, etc), any number of other things I yell about.

TL;DR: The story is great and the cultivation is fascinatingand the schemes are elaborate, but

[tptruepolitics]

LGBT Thoughts

Netflix has recently decided to push transgender ideologies in their Babysitters Club series – a show directed at adolescent girls. While Netflix – an independent company that should only have to answer to itself and its shareholders – is perfectly within their rights to air such shows, the fact remains that this is a deeply damaging topic to be showcasing to the most vulnerable and malleable among us. I think it’s time we finally address the enormous elephant in the room: the LGBT community. Here I will break down my thoughts on their rights, their roles, and their realities in our society.

For much of history, there have been documented incidences of same-sex encounters. Even the Bible makes reference to same-sex relations numerous times. The word sodomy is actually originated from one such text from Genesis in reference to the city of Sodom. Shakespeare is even rumored to have been gay by some scholars. However, for most of human existence, these individuals were forced to live in secret – outcasts of society, ostracized by their own people. To be perfectly fair, religious extremism has only contributed to the past 2-4 thousand years of ridicule. Before that, it was still frowned upon (at best) by most cultures simply because it went against the laws of nature. Male and female animals and even plant parts reproduce in union with one another. There are no same-sex reproductive organisms to my knowledge (correct me if I’m wrong). There are asexual organisms that reproduce by themselves, but certainly no major animal species that reproduce in any extraordinary way. There is a certain species of bird, I believe, that lives in Hawaii (once again, correct me if I’m wrong) that sometimes chooses a same-sex partner for life in the absence of a proper mate, but this is certainly an exception, not a rule. To add, they do not reproduce together.

But what does all this mean for humans? How should the “laws of nature” or even God’s laws apply to humans in this age of constant progressivism and an increasing detachment from religiosity that we call secularism? Well, thankfully, in our country and many around the world we are allowed the freedoms to live our lives as we see fit as long as they don’t infringe on the rights and liberties of others. So, if someone chooses to live outside the bounds of religious or natural laws, they certainly should be allowed to, as long as they are minding their own business. This concept of allowing homosexuality was highly contested up until the late 20th century, and is still somewhat contested today in 2020. The original founders felt that upholding moral and ethical truths in our school systems were an integral part of maintaining our precious union. As a matter of fact, the often-misrepresented “separation of church and state” clause did not mean that religion could not be learned about in schools, but that the federal government had no right to establish a State religion (capital S). Most of the founders actually encouraged religious teachings and values in schools. The more modern interpretations of the separation of church and state are due to an influx of not only secular ideologies, but also religious beliefs that were not prevalent during the time of our founding. While I am a firm believer that no harm can come from learning about religious values in schools, in this age of progressivism it is reasonable to note that certain contentious religious principles need not be forced upon others. This would be a clear infringement of the separation of church and state.

So, to get specific, let’s talk homosexuality. A common misconception in the eyes of secularists is that the Church (I’ll speak specifically about Catholicism here) preaches that homosexuality is a sin – that simply being gay is a sin against God. Well, this isn’t true. The Church expressly teaches that acting out homosexual fantasies is a sin. Let’s say, you are a man who is attracted to other men, but in your devotion to your religion, you find a woman whom you love, marry her, and live your life without having sex with another man. Is this man sinful, because he finds men attractive? Of course he is not! When you feel like strangling someone, but then you calm down and don’t, are you guilty of murder? No. So, simply being gay is not a sentence to Hell. As a matter of fact, even in the eyes of the Church, acting on your homosexual impulses isn’t a death sentence. There is reconciliation and forgiveness in the eyes of the Lord. If you confess your sin and repent for it, you are seen as forgiven. Not to mention, there are people who sin in every aspect of life: liars, swindlers, thieves, murderers – and I’m not even just talking about big sins. Small sins add up, and if you are not repentant of them, you are not any more likely to get to Heaven. However, I will paraphrase this, but I believe there is a Scripture saying that says you will be judged by your worst qualities. So, if you work hard your whole life to be a good Christian, and your only flaw is that you are a wonton whore, a light will be shown on this most vulnerable area.

You might be thinking to yourself, “but it’s a genetic mutation that causes some people to like members of the same sex. God would not have built natural urges in us if he didn’t want us to act on them.” Well, that’s just ridiculous. We have natural urges and desires that are built into us that we are meant to fight off all the time: anger, greed, and jealousy to name a few. Lust is just one more urge that is built into our nature, and it happens to come in all shapes and sizes. Our animalistic desire is not only to have as much sex as possible, but to have it with as many things as possible. Evidence of this is your dog, if you have one. Dogs will regularly hump humans due to a natural urge they have. Should the dog be doing this? Should humans all of a sudden be accepting of bestiality? Maybe don’t answer that one. Now that I’ve gotten a bit off topic, I’ll try to bring this all back. Yes, acting on your homosexual desires is a sin in many Christian churches. However, your homosexuality does nothing to harm me or my church, and as such, I believe firmly that if you wish you act on those temptations, you should be legally allowed to.

Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual peoples should not be deprived of their right to happiness, which can include uniting themselves in lawful union. That being said, I would like to advocate for an alteration in the name of the union. With the full rights, advantages and privileges of a married male and female couple, I would like to revoke the name “gay marriage” and return to the previously used “civil union” terminology. Marriage is a religious term that has been secularized over decades to include all unions whether inside or outside of a church between a man and a woman. I propose that all unions made outside of the boundaries of a religious ceremony be labeled civil unions, reserving the term marriage to those unions made within the boundaries of a religious ceremony. Civil unions will differ from Marriages in name only as to lay to rest the disagreements of many over this divisive issue. Thus, men and women, women and women, and men and men united solely by a judge will no longer be “married” but “united”. Those churches that allow gay marriages in their communities are by no means precluded from including them or precluded from calling them whatever they wish. However, legally, in the eyes of the state, a same-sex couple “married” in their churches will be viewed as “united” under the law. This is a semantic issue, as opposed to a legal issue. The semantics are clearly important on this issue and have been increasingly becoming more important as time goes on. I may not feel it is right to legally prevent people from enjoying their lives in whatever manners they please, but I do feel it is within my purview to define terms in order to ease tensions.

With regards to the transgender community, I have immense sympathy and respect for your feelings. Feeling like you don’t fit into the gender roles that your biology dictates can be frustrating, confusing and upsetting. I know. During my high school years, I often noted to myself that I had feminine characteristics that I didn’t understand. In some ways, I felt that I didn’t share many of the masculine interests of my friends. However, because I was surrounded by many fine men who were very accepting of my differences, I never felt that I didn’t belong with them. Here is the reality of the situation. Many people are not surrounded by these positive influences, and thereby feel that they need to re-identify themselves in order to fit into their social environments. This is not the case. Acceptance, toleration and understanding are the keys to solving this problem. Our attention with regard to the gender debate should be redirected towards Gender Stereotypes. At one point, I was under the impression that we were heading in the right direction. In a very enlightening high school class, I was challenged to think about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. When I did this, I came up with many gender stereotypes that not only did not describe many of my peers, but also did not describe myself. Instead of concluding that I did not belong to my gender, however, I concluded that the stereotypes were the crux of the inconsistencies. At one point in history, gender roles were necessary for survival – the strong (men) went on the hunt, and the tender (women) cared for the children. They were important distinctions. This is not the case anymore! Over time, as technology and society developed to the point where strict gender roles were no longer necessary, women’s rights and roles in society began to change. This was a good thing and is a testament to how incredible our society has been for the less advantaged. These roles still play a part in our daily lives and still affect who we are, but they do not define us exclusively. Take Apples for example. The stereotype of an Apple is a red, juicy, sweet fruit. However, there are apples that are yellow, juicy and sweet. There are also apples that are green, juicy and tart. Is the yellow apple a mango now? Is the green apple a lime? No, their genetics limit them to the fruitful existence that they are. Nevertheless, biology dictates what type of fruit they are and not their characteristics; their characteristics don’t change the underlying biology.

To solve the issue of gender, some people on the progressive aisle have attempted to remove gender. I instead propose to remove the stereotypes/roles! This of course leads to inconsistencies in the Pride movement as a whole. For example, an exclusively lesbian woman might marry another woman who decides later that she is a man. Is this first woman heterosexual now, or should she be upset and betrayed and break off the marriage? Are you confused yet? This removal of gender is not only confusing to adults, but it’s confusing to children, and for them, it is dangerous. When you pose a child with the option to choose his/her gender identity, they will ask you what the differences are. Your response will undoubtedly be gender stereotypes. You are doing no one any favors by perpetuating these gender roles. The child will treat this as something fun, like a game. However, once you begin to treat it as something serious, the child will begin to treat it seriously. This is what major networks and schools and parents are beginning to do. Once you begin to treat your child as if they are not their biological sex, they will begin to accept that reality, more so to please you than anything else. This could have unimaginable consequences on their sense of self later in life, which could lead to self-esteem issues, learning disabilities, depression or worse. And making life-altering changes to your children i.e. long-term gender therapy, hormone treatments, or surgeries could permanently hurt them mentally and physically.

Conversely, if your little boy tells you one day that he is a girl, tell him, “No, you’re not a girl, you’re a boy. As a boy, you can be whoever you want to be, like whatever you want to like, and all of those characteristics will make you who you are.” If you tell your little boy that, there is an increased likelihood that he will have a more accepting view of others who are different from him, and will have a more positive outlook of himself. You can be a man who loves to sew, wear frilly clothing, and fixes his own car. You can be a woman who lifts weights, works on a construction site, and watches soap operas. They are not mutually exclusive. This also includes those members of our communities that wish to fully engage in their historical gendered roles. Women, who want nothing but to read, write, sew, be homemakers, and do the multitude of other activities that are considered feminine, should not be shamed into thinking that their choices are not valuable, are backwards, or are in anyway damaging to womanhood. Women who have no interest in science should not be shamed into believing that their lives are a waste and that they are giving in to the patriarchal oppression of women. This is not productive. Similarly, this standard applies to men, who should not be shamed into thinking that jobs that only use their hands are not worthy of respect because they do not require a college education. They should not be shamed into the common misconception that men are brutes, only caring about power and control. Men who are not interested in fashion design or cleaning are not uncreative or lazy. All humans have different interests and strengths.

The characteristics we have as human beings are largely taught to us. Generosity is taught, openness is taught. Negative things, as well: greed, sloth – they are learned. Selfishness is a learned characteristic. As a society, we have failed our younger generations. Parents, teachers, the government, and the media have all failed. To teach a child that they are so important that they have the ability to defy nature and choose their gender breeds self-centeredness and pride beyond compare. How selfish of us, how pompous! We are not that important. We are not able to create our own meaning. Our meaning is a gift bestowed upon us by a higher power. Who or what that higher power is, is for each and every man and woman to decide on their own, but a society based on the premise that they determine their own worth is doomed to fail because it is founded on the ideal that the self is the most important entity. This is not to contradict our founding principles concerning the individual. Those principles concern how government should act in relation to its people. The concept of self-importance, to which I’m referring, concerns how individuals view themselves and act in spite of the government.

 So, no, I don’t think that Netflix or schools should be teaching students, especially against the wills of their parents, that being a boy when you’re a girl or vice versa is acceptable. We should not be teaching children that biology can just be ignored. If we allowed this aspect of biology to be ignored, other aspects of biology may be ignored in the future (like age!). Nor do I think that sexual preference should be celebrated in public schools. This goes against the separation of church and state in a different manner, because teaching children that their religious observances of sin are incorrect is a direct interference with the practice of a religion. This would be a world where secularism becomes the state religion and that would be no more acceptable than some form of theism. Have no shame for who you are, but don’t put down other peoples’ views to make yourself feel better. Respect should be taught of all our children before they leave the home for school.

Here is my final message. Acceptance of self, love of one another, and understanding of our differences, should reign supreme.

[thorsstorms]

Touch Me

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: Thor hasn’t tried to contact, what is life like with out him?

Warning: ANGST!, Sad Thor. Acohol abuse Mention, LOTS OF SMUT +18!! This is really just pure smut, something I never do. so enjoy touch deprived Thor.

A/N: This is the third (and last) part to Drunk Me, one of my favorites. Also, I always picture Thor with long hair in these. I wrote Drunk Me pre endgame (im psychic I know)  but was stuck on long hair Thor bc who isn’t.  

Masterlist.  -   Drunk Me  -  Sober Me

“Thor,” I called for him, opening his bedroom door. I just got off work, but he never left my mind today. I woke up determined. I figure dinner with him is enough to present a proposition.

“My love,” he called from the bathroom. When he opened the door, steam rolled out. He was fresh out of the shower. Skin glistening from the shining lights around the mirror behind him. “Forgive me, I was in the gym for hours.”

“Not a problem,” I had to fix my gaze away from his skin that I missed so much. “I picked up some dinner, meet me?”

“Of course.”

I turn on the TV, automatically searching for something on netflix, background noise at most. He used to like to watch FRIENDS with me, so I settled on it. A few chinese take out boxes were on the table, ready for him whenever, but was I? I stared ahead from my spot on the couch waiting to eat. The sun was setting out the windows, leaving an orange hue to dance across the room. His eyes were always a catch this time of day, the contrast was impeccable.

“Smells so good, Love.” He walked into the room fully clothed, to my dismay. “Thank you.” Clapping a friendly warm hand over my shoulder before trecking around the couch to sit beside me. He smells so delightful, a smell I used to bask in, drink in every night. It was signature, nothing would compare.

I kicked my shoes off and curled my legs onto the couch, pulling a blanket from the back rest. They were a must in the cold open room, especially when he is not as close as I want him to be, not close enough to keep me warm.

“Pick what you want, I’m not too hungry.” He leaned forward, lining up three boxes without even looking. I wanted to fast forward twenty minutes. The time was not too slow with my favorite show to capture my attention, but I took the liberty of laying across the couch, my head on his thigh. I do not have to look at him this way and feel a sharp yearning in my heart. I can feel him and his closeness, his proximity, but I do not have to look at him.

“Baby are you going to eat?” He questioned, almost concerned. I had been quiet, but I just want to touch him, its physically making me ache and I cannot stand it any longer. Who can have an appetite with that?

“No, I’m not hungry,” I mumble, adjusting my head and pulling the blanket over my shoulder.

“Love, what’s wrong?” What is left of the food is discarded onto the table and he sat back with a sigh. A small spike of anxiousness flooded through me, down to my core when I look at him again. He was just curious, that is all. And he has done so good at telling me what he is thinking, it is only fair that I do as well. It is hard, I will give him that. 

Sitting up to face him is so much harder than not looking into his curious eyes. 

My hand reaches the side of his head when he looks at me like that. Like I am his only source of muscle that makes his heart beat on time. Like I hung the stars in the sky, curious and worried. Its endearing, comes with a feeling that no other would be able to give me. A feeling of love, rush, excitement, nervousness, and curiosity of my own when his head leans into my touch. It was subtle but by senses had zeroed in on it. A small experimental circle of my fingers and his eyelids fall closed, he did it again. Arms falling lax in his lap.

“I miss you,” I whisper and his electric blues meet mine, freezing me.

“I’m right here.” He keens, seeming to wake up slightly from my touch.

“No, Thor.” Of course, he is right here with me. I see him, but I want to feel him. My body works on its own accord, finding myself working to straddle his thighs. I just want to be close to him, that is all. “No, I miss you.” I speak with as much conviction I can muster, though a rush from the bold move makes my brain slightly fuzzy, tipsy on him.

His shoulders drop, tension gone when his hands settle where they are always meant to be, on me, my skin that itches for him and feels like fire under his hands. As if it was involuntary, his head drops back into my hands that curled around the base of his skull, entangling my fingers into his hair. It was not even anything sexual, just a need to be touched.

“Really?” He begs for the reassurance. Practically purring into the massage of my fingertips around his neck.

“Yes, really. I need you, I love you.” He watches me with wide eyes at my confession, not knowing how to respond, luckily I have got that figured out. I leaned into him, my lips meeting his in a searing kiss. It is all I longed for, for so long. For his hands to dig under my shirt so he can feel my soft skin, all for him. He was quick to react, quick to draw out a strangled moan from his throat, not hiding his longing to be loved like this. To do good by me and make me know he’s changed for us both.

His emotions were pouring out in waves, cradling me to him as if I would want to be anywhere else at the moment. Lips and teeth and tongue clash in the heat, he cannot get enough. I was here and I was not leaving this time, he was not going to give a reason to.

I need to breath, heaving from our exchange but he does not want to waste one single moment of his lips on my skin. Drawing them across my jaw in open mouthed kisses, across my neck in a heating rush to taste my skin. It was all he had worked for. He worked against his own mind for this trophy, this mark of success.

I whined against the pull of his lips once again marking me as his. It’s been too long. “Please, Thor, please.” I do not exactly know what I want, all I know is that I want him, all of him, this is what I wanted. 

Just please don’t stop.

“Shh, baby. I’m here.”  He promised his heart away, memorizing my decollete like it had changed in the months of his absence, lips across my throat, collar bones, down to my chest his lips traveled. “I’ll take care of you. I’m here.”

I met his lips again, clinging to him as he held my legs in place, standing from the couch and blindly walking to the hallway. His promises whispered like burning secrets, and couldn’t force myself to do much but listen and drink them in and store them inside me.

Only mere seconds before he laid me against those ever so soft sheets of his unmade bed. I was right. My shirt needed to be gone to feel the soft sheets against my skin, and they were so soft, just like I had imagined. Or maybe I was biased with his lips drawing across my breasts, swiftly losing my bra in the process. I could not think, only feel his touch, feel his skin. My hands made their own work of his shirt, his body hot against mine. The distracting assault of his lips left my hands to wander his arms, cradle his head against me. 

Don’t ever stop, please.

“I need you, please, I need you.” My voice was too breathless, I am not sure he can understand me. He must have, my skirt sliding away, panties all the same. Burning kisses followed a pattern down my abdomen. Where I want him, where I was heating for touch.

Just touch me everywhere.

I was offering myself to him, waiting for him to take. I know he needs it just as much as I do, he has to. And he takes.

His arm weighed down my bucking hips for friction, basking in the sight of my slick all for him. I have waited too long. One thick strip of his tongue across my cunt, basking in the taste he had been starved of, is all he needs to flip his switch. Groaning in the familiarity that he longed to feel, my twitching from his tongue, my hands in his hair pulling, pleading for more. It was a drug, I can be his fix. It is almost a punch of air out of my lungs, lurching forward for hands in his hair to ground myself.

“Ohh,” I whisper, eyes falling shut at the feeling. I am so close already, my blood thrumming in my veins from the first touch of his mouth, ready to burst. His hands designated to my thighs, parting them in favor of him tasting me with soothing strokes of his tongue. His eyes close, lashes fanned on his cheeks as he kisses me there, relishing in it. He groans quietly into the soft skin of my thigh when he comes up for a breathe, pressing a sticky kiss there.

I am quivering hot to the touch while he eats me out slowly with the velvet slide of his tongue, sounding off soft little grunts of pleasure. I watched as his hips turned to bunch against the bed, for friction. He is hard for me, all for me and it makes my mouth water.

“I want you so badly,” I whisper to him. It makes tears prick my eyes but I blink them away. He feels it, he has to feel this invisible force stirring and drawing us together. The soft pulses of his lips work, closing around, and it shocks me. The sight undoes me too fast, I tried to hold on, tried to stay there, but a second of lost focus folded me in, my walls clenching, gushing on his face. The coil gave, tipping over the edge throwing my body into a pool of tingles and heat. My head dropping in syruppy pleasure.

Before my vision could clear he was leaning over me, naked in his glory. My hands went to him, I just want to touch him all the time, be close. His eyes are still dark, making him look almost feral for me to wrap my arms around his body as he loses himself while buried to the hilt. We need it.

My heart lurches, stuttering in my chest at his heavy cock dropping on my heat as he leans in for a meeting of clashing lips, begging for attention. I curl my hand around him with a tightly wound fist, he hisses into the kiss, leaving to teeth at my jaw, down my neck and throat.

I guide him to my entrance, crying out as he breaches my soaking hole. “Please, Thor. Oh, God.” He presses in further, stretching my walls around him. A pinch is masked by his words of yearning for this, for working towards this, words of his proclamation to love me and do right by us both.

He sits deep, drawing out a slow drag against my tight walls before sinking in again. My moans are exclaimed, he takes them with his mouth over mine, breathing in the lick of pleasure. The drag is torture, sending shocks of pleasure after not being touched by him for so long. The sink of his tip to the hilt, knocking me in just the right spot to send a black image through my brain, emptying out all thoughts in exchange for him occupying my every thought and stealing my soul. The sink has got to be worse than the drag out, impaling, grinding and stretching all the right spots, it is sinful. 

He groans, ragged as my hands press into his shoulders from behind, my legs wrapping him to hold hostage. His hips rut against mine in the most delicious sense, his muscle rubbing into my clit with fire. I cannot last long underneath him, not with his rhythm guiding me to come again all too quickly.

My eyes struggle to remain on his, unwillingly fluttering away on a wave of pleasure, taking me away from his glistening skin. The sound of his narrow breathes, clenching around his driven need to protect that no one understands but him, the heat fans over me in shaking draws.

My eyes come back with the sear of his lips and teeth, drawing me back to the surface. His skin is reddened, crawling up his chest and neck, thrusting out small grunts as if he does not know he is making them. He is lost in my touch. Primal and drowning in my taste and tight squeeze. It was a sight to come apart to.

I am dropped into a second, coming hard while he drills and rutts deep over and over again, his huffs stuttered when he feels my walls contract tightly over him, proving to be too much.

He moans deep and heavy into my neck sending vibrations down my spine, only adding to my shaking orgasm thats rolling through in big heavy waves. I clutch him close, guiding his face to mine, opening for him and trading trembling kisses back and forth.

A relief of mind floods through us both. He pressed through my aftershocks, legs twitching slightly before drawing out and laying himself beside me, his chest rising and falling hypnotically.  He does not go far for long, his hand cradling my jaw for a close proximity, pressing his forehead to mine. He wants to be near, I want to be a part of him somehow, eyes closing in exhaustion and mind almost sailing away too soon.

“Thor,” I murmur. A tremble wrecks through my body, the last of the shocks from an extreme high, and he presses his lips to my forehead.

“Im here, Love.”

[winterromanov]

we will grow taller together - bucky x reader

PART ONE - THE GENTLE HUM OF EXISTENTIAL DREAD

parts: zero

Pairing: bucky barnes x reader

Extract: “No. No, what I’m saying is, he needs—they both need—someone. He needs someone to help look after Clover while they both get their lives back on track.” Steve pauses, looking you straight in the eyes. “Someone like you.”

Genre: romance, nanny x single father!AU

Taglist: @blindedbyyourgrace17 @verygraphicink @igotkatiepowers @welcome-to-my-studylife (taglist still open, reply/message to be tagged)

PART ONE

“Next please!”

The queue shuffles along until your face-to-face with yet another tired-looking college student, purple eye-bags visible underneath a pair of circular rimmed glasses. It’s fall dead week and if most of your customers are anything to go by, it certainly lives up to its name. Every single one of the tables spread out on the main floor of Vormir Coffee has been crammed with sleep-deprived teenagers and textbooks, meaning you and your colleagues have been swept off your feet with orders for caffeine products refills. You expect the rush to continue over the next few days as revision turns into actual mid-terms—as is tradition, you’ll be offering free chocolate muffins throughout the week by the door, because nothing heals the pain of a shitty Econ paper like chocolate muffins do.

Yet…as you look in the near-dead, distant eyes of your latest customer, you feel a pang of jealousy deep within your chest. While you’re pouring coffee into refillable mugs and forcing your best service smile (which is a difficult feat nine hours in to a ten hour shift) they’re reading and learning and absorbing.

You miss learning. God, you miss learning, even the terrible impossible chaos of one exam after another and deadlines piling up around you like sandbags. But being, y’know, poor, means there’s not much you can do about your grad school dreams, even if you do spend your free hours searching the internet for outlandish scholarships and funding schemes.

So. For now, it’s coffee. Potentially forever if you want to continue to eat and have electricity, which is just about all you can afford right now. And the occasional lipstick if you’re feeling particularly extravagant.

“What can I get you?” you ask the student, whose scruffy brown hair doesn’t look like it’s been washed in a few days. Oh well. Desperate times require desperate measures. At least you’re not his roommate. He grunts for an inevitable espresso and fishes round his wallet for some spare dollars while you get to work. Moments later you offer him the finished product and he drops the exact change into your hand, skulking away to a table without another word. Well, you’ll forgive a lack of manners during one of the most surreal weeks in the academic year.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

On the announcement of your name your glance flicks back to the remainders of the gradually quietening queue, and your face subconsciously breaks out into a grin when you finally see a customer that doesn’t look like a vacant zombie.

Steve Rogers grins back at you. He’s wearing a beanie over his blonde hair and a warm winter jacket—the temperature was freezing when you practically slid from the subway to work this morning and as the day slowly eclipses into evening, the temperature is falling back down with it. His cheeks are flushed from coming into the warm.

“Hey Steve!” you greet him cheerfully, because seeing an old friend is the perfect way to end a tiring shift. “How are you? How’s Natasha?”

Steve dips his head bashfully, like he always does when he’s asked about himself or his girlfriend. “We’re both great, thanks. What about you? It’s been a while.”

You gesture around you as an answer. Taking all the shifts you possibly can means you probably spend more time in Vormir than your own apartment. From what you can recall Steve has been back in the States for a few weeks after his most recent tour of Afghanistan; him or Natasha keep dropping you invites here and there, but you’ve been working or too dog-tired to accept them. It kind of makes you sad, as you watch your social circle shrink, but being an adult is the worst and staying alive is reasonably important to you.

“That bad, huh?” Steve asks sympathetically. You nod back, dramatically rolling your eyes.

“That bad. Always that bad, Rogers. I’m a slave to consumerism, but don’t let my boss know that.”

Steve laughs, leaning onto the counter. “I actually… (Y/N), when do you finish up here? Do you want get a drink? I’ve just got something I wanted to run by you.”

You narrow your eyes with curiosity. The clock that ticks mercilessly above the door reads six forty-two, so you’ve got less than twenty minutes left of your shift, and the look on Steve’s face is too intriguing to turn down just so you can rush home, open a bottle of cheap white wine and watch Stranger Things on Netflix. Even if you are up to the season three finale.

“I clock off at seven,” you reveal, but you nudge your head in the direction of the remaining customers who are starting to get annoyed at the hold-up. “Grab a seat. I actually have to do my job for a while longer and I’d rather not get fired because you’re distracting me.”

Steve holds his hands up in mock surrender and slowly backs away from the counter, allowing your next customer to slide into his position. You watch as he drops into a two-seater by the window, scrolling through his iPhone, a muted grin tugging at his lips.

-

Steve’s favourite bar is a short walk across town, the kind that is warm and dark and a little bit retro. You’ve been to Endgame before with him and Natasha, and you’d all split quarters so you could play ABBA songs on the Jukebox by the entrance. Right now it’s playing Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac, so it seems today’s patrons have taste.

You grab one of the more private booths through the back while he gets the drinks. You’ve not seen your phone since your lunch break so you take the spare seconds to scroll through your social media—less than an hour ago Natasha’s posted a photo to Instagram, both her and Steve making stupid faces in the living room of the apartment they share. It’s captioned who do I have to kill to make sure you’re not deployed again?

Your heart melts a little. Steve and Nat. Nat and Steve. Two people who have been together for longer than you’ve known them, and they just work so fucking well, two halves of the same coin and all that. Your thumb hovers over the like button for a moment before clicking it, because you’ve never had someone in your life like that. You’ve not found the other half of your coin.

Most days you’re too exhausted to really think about it. But sometimes…something will click in the back of your brain and it dawns on you like an avalanche that this might be your life forever. You’ll be serving coffee forever. You’ll be on your own forever.

Fortunately Steve slides into the seat opposite before you can go into a full-on existential crisis, but you sure as hell know that’s what will inevitably cross your mind when you’re stuck staring at the cracked ceiling of your apartment in bed tonight.

Steve’s smile is concerned as he pushes a desperado in your direction. “You look troubled.”

“When am I not?” you say with a shrug, taking a sip of your drink. The alcohol burns in your empty stomach. You haven’t eaten since lunch—maybe liquor isn’t the best idea, after all. “Anyway. As much as I love seeing you, Rogers, this isn’t just a friendly drop-by is it?”

Steve is drinking some generic American beer. He wipes his lip before speaking. “Yeah. Like I said. There was something I thought I’d run by you.”

“Ominous.” You wiggle your eyebrows. “Are you going to spend the next half an hour or so pushing a pyramid scheme you swear isn’t a pyramid scheme? Because I really didn’t think that was your style.”

“No. Not a pyramid scheme.” He shakes his head in mild disbelief, probably wondering why he’s still friends with you. “It’s more…do you remember my friend? James?” When you look back blankly, he elaborates. “Bucky. Guy I used to go to school with. Dark hair. Lost his arm in Afghan about a decade ago…”

“Oh! Oh. Bucky Barnes. James Barnes.” You feel kind of bad that the arm was what made it click, but you do remember a quiet, well-mannered guy standing in the background of a few of Steve and/or Nat’s social events over the last few years. You’ve never been formally introduced but Steve talks about him every so often, just casual mentions in conversation, nothing detailed. They’d grown up together, trained together, but their career paths parted after Bucky’s car nicked an IED on the outskirts of Kabul. Truly horrifying. “Yeah. Sure. I remember him. What about him?”

Steve grimaces. “Well, it’s a bit…complex, to explain, so I’ll just go straight into it. About seven years ago he met a girl, she got pregnant, they had a daughter.”

“Oh! I never knew he had any kids.”

“Yeah. Clover. She’s six now. Way too smart for her age, really mischievous—doing crazy things like sending vegetables in the post to the grandparents she doesn’t like and reading fucking Frankenstein. Big Mary Shelley fan, to Buck’s sheer delight. Awesome kid.”

You smirk, not sure what any of this has to do with you, but little Clover sounds exactly how you were at her age. “She does sound pretty awesome.”

“But Connie, her mom…she passed away just over a year ago in a really awful car wreck.” Steve’s face falls into a look of heartbreak, empathetic as always. “Her and Bucky haven’t been together for years but they shared custody of Clove, Connie having her a lot of the time.”

You feel something shift in your chest, like shards of glass are pressing in between your ribs. Real loss stories have always been pretty hard for you to digest, regardless of who they belong to. You think about death a lot in, like, an abstract and unreachable kind of way. You think it gives you size, an awareness of your place in the world, the universe. But that’s your own death. You’re kind of comfortable with that one day you will cease to exist. It’s just the people that you care about you fear for. And everybody cares about somebody.

“God, that’s awful, Steve,” you murmur, eyes softening. “Is he looking after her on his own now?”

Steve nods, biting his lip. “Yeah. And he’s not doing too great, (Y/N). It’s not my place to go into details about what goes on in his head, but nobody gets over the trauma he went through and goes back to before. And the loss of Connie and suddenly becoming Clover’s only parent, and her trauma, as well as trying to hold down a full-time job…like Jesus, I’m surprised he can even get up in the morning. Sometimes he doesn’t.”

You ache for Steve’s oldest friend as is only natural, but you’re still at a loss as to where this involves you. You rest your chin in your hands, looking at Steve intently. “It sounds like he’s going through a tough time. I’m really sorry. But is this…any of my business? Because you can always confide in me about things that are on your mind, but this sounds really personal.”

“No. No, what I’m saying is, he needs—they both need—someone. He needs someone to help look after Clover while they both get their lives back on track.” Steve pauses, looking you straight in the eyes. “Someone like you.”

The laugh that erupts from your chest is involuntary, but Steve’s expression is still completely serious. Is he really suggesting what you think he’s suggesting? “What? You’re asking me to be a nanny?”

“I suppose you could call it that.” When you stare at him with disbelief, he rolls his shoulders. “(Y/N). Why is this such an eccentric idea? You hate your job. Buck has a spare room at his place which, no offense, is way nicer than your apartment. You’re great with kids, you’re funny, you’re smart…and you’ve already said you think Clover sounds like an awesome kid. You two would get on great.”

“That’s all irrelevant considering a, I’m not a nanny and have no experience looking after a child in that close and intense an environment. And b, Steve, this is an eccentric idea. Other than the scraps you’ve given me I know absolutely nothing about James, and what the hell does he know about me?” When Steve’s face looks a little guilty, you roll your eyes. “Oh my god. Steve. James hasn’t even said he wants a nanny has he? He doesn’t even know you’re asking me this.”

“This would be so good for him,” Steve half-pleads, puppy dog eyes engaged, “He’s fussy about strangers and Clover, but he knows you through me. He’ll trust my judgement.”

“Steve. You can’t just go making decisions like that! This is insane.”

(Steve has a habit of thinking he knows what’s best, for himself or other people, and rampaging down that path in the pursuit of a happy ending. Sometimes people don’t need his version of a happy ending.)

Steve eventually relents, relaxing back in his seat. He’s forgotten you’re not usually one for blindly going along with one of his Heroic Schemes, preferring a more idealistic approach. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll discuss it with him first. But I think you should come along when I do that.”

“Steve.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, but I think you should meet them both properly. You could be a good friend to him either way. It wouldn’t hurt, (Y/N). Maybe it would be good for you too.”

God, you’re way too done for this shit, your legs aching from a day of being constantly on your feet and dead inside from getting up at six this morning. Steve is not the kind of guy to give up on something he’s clearly passionate about in his quest for the greater good, and this point it is just easier to agree to his requests. Even though his idea is way too bizarre for anyone normal to actually accept.

Being a live-in nanny for a guy you barely know and his daughter, both of whom have just lost someone extremely significant in their lives? And him being totally unaware that his best friend is proposing a job he has no authority to give? Yeah, fuck that.

Steve is right about one thing, though. You do really, really hate your horrible job.

When you reluctantly nod, and Steve grins, you jab a finger in his direction. “Like you said. It means nothing. This is weird as hell, but you’re super annoying when you don’t get your own way, and I’m totally allowing you to receive all the backlash when it backfires.”

“I think I can deal with that.” He gestures at your empty bottle. “Want another drink?”

The alcohol has made your body a little lighter, but your stomach growls loudly in argument. Instead, you clamp your hands on the table. “No, but you can buy me a pizza. It’s the least you can do for me, weirdo.”

Steve raises an eyebrow, used to your directness. “Pizza it is, then.”

Okay, so maybe Steve Rogers is the most annoying person in the world, and maybe his aggressive selflessness in the hope of doing right for his friends will eventually be his downfall, but he’s usually a pretty nice guy. You sometimes forget that you’re lucky to have him.

[namjoonchronicles]

beautiful, tragic | yoongi

✿ pairing: yoongi x you ✿ genre: domestic, yoongi as a husband, fluff, suggestive content, slight smut ✿ words: 4k ✿ summary: it’s hard sharing your musically talented husband with the world, and this is your story.

Stay home. He says. Watch the house. He says.

You’re stuck, scrolling idly on your phone with your drama on Netflix long abandoned on your 85” Sony LED Screen, equipped with the sound system that would surpass Dolby Surround System if it ever went on competition with each other.

Apart from the boring international celeb news, who broke up and who got divorced, the politic scene is too awry for you to read and you were not prepared for that headache so early in the day. One particular headline caught your attention, though.

Billboard Judge, Music Producer Min Yoongi Purchases USD$3M UN Village Villa In Cash.

Excuse me, what?

Screenshot. Clicking the home button on your phone, you tapped on Kakao Talk app next and ignored the messages from your ex-classmates group that has mounted to 120 unread texts and straight to ‘Fish’ ID.

You had sent him the screenshot of the news clipping, and proceed to multi-text him the following:

????????? Why wasn’t I informed?? Yoongi. What did I tell you about purchasing things without a proper discussion? Behind my back?? The nerve?? Bitch, square up when you get home. I also have watched five episodes without you. Fuck you.

Delivered. The anger had made you toss your phone to the side on the couch. This stupid huge ass house he is never in. You grind your jaws, glaring at your wedding picture on the top corner of your wall. And he dares to buy another one. You can hear him whispering a silent fuck from the distant. Fuck--is quite right, Yoongi. Your phone dings a new message in less than twenty minutes. He had machine-gunned you with replies that your phone had trouble keeping up with. You crossed your arm, scoffing at the sight of his name blinking on your screen. Oh, now you want to call me.

Volume : 70%, 75%, 85%. Netflix show has dimmed the sound of his calls and desperate texts.

He just never learns, does he? You’re starting to feel like he feeds on these little arguments like ginseng soup--has to have it when he’s unwell or deprived of something. Now that’s something you didn’t share with him. Yoongi’s work prevents him to be home as often as he’d like, requires him to befriend sketchy men and women with hidden agendas, they also constantly separate you and him--all this, you know and understood from the beginning. But like flying kites, when kites with strings tend to stray too far, and stretched too long, it snaps. Especially when you’re the one at the end of the string, holding him down to earth with a promise of a golden ring, always the one waiting for his return. When the blizzards come, the storm arrives, you gripped tighter, but there’s no guarantee that he felt the tug even if he should.

Here lies his expertise on words. Here lies the test of loyalty. Here lie your trust and his devotion. Love is a gamble, isn’t it?

It was supposed to be a surprise :( I wanted to take you there when I come home, but the news spoiled it :( :( Good news is, it’s not fully furnished and we can go furniture shopping… I know you love decorating the house :) I’ll forgive you if you watch the same 5 episodes with me later Babe? :( :( You’re still fetching me at the airport right? Right, sweetie?

He sends a screenshot of his expected arrival time, and you skimmed pass the message with a blank look. You tap the camera icon and took a selfie of your middle finger.

Fish was immediately typing…

OK, but it’s difficult with jeans on.

You gawked as you realized that he was talking about fingering you. You snarled against the screen and tapped video call button.

But it was declined. And he replied immediately.

Can’t. In a crash meeting with the staff.

You put your phone close to your lips and tapped voice recording icon. And Yoongi knows better than to play it in the midst of a meeting. You’re roasting him and for that, he’ll keep for his lullaby on the way to the airport later with his good headphones on. He gave a goofy smile on the screen when you replied with middle-finger emoticons. “God, I love her…” he stares fondly at your ID.

Flight JN1741 from Amsterdam arrives at Incheon International Airport on 2:00 PM. Passengers begin to rise from their seat before the ‘fasten-your-seatbelt’ sign was turned off. Already, Yoongi’s massive entourage are receiving calls within the moving but landed airplane. His staff is dependable but workaholics, like he is. He was just worried that his wife won’t show up because she’s mad. But he’s also certain that she will be there at the arrival. He likes that you make him nervous this way. He likes that he could mean everything to the world, and has his words as law to others, but won’t necessarily have the same effect on you. He loves the fact that you keep him on his toes and make him chase. He also loves the fact that he knows you’ll be waiting at home where he left you as he works.

Loving and having are different things.

Yoongi of all people knows the constraints of having a serious relationship in his hectic life will be hard to manage. When he couldn’t meet his lady love, he relies heavily on her profound loyalty and his blinded trust. God knows that both of you tried. Both of you really tried to keep the passion alive, never to fizzle out. But distance could make or break a relationship--and Yoongi really wanted this. This battleground he chose to live in. He was lucky to have the best of both worlds. Most couldn’t experience that. To him, the game is only over when the other stops playing.

A conversation is a conversation, even if its a fight.

He refastens his black facemask, his black hoodie and stood up as the manager asks him whether he needs a ride home or not. The 40-year-old man walks away once Yoongi said that his wife is fetching him.

“Also, hyung...can you bring the iKey to the Apple Store I bought it in? It had malfunctioned again. I left the warranty card inside the pack,” Yoongi politely asked. “Every single time we leave Amsterdam… Yoongi what did you do with it?” The manager pulls the bag out the compartment above the head. “Work I guess…” Yoongi shrugged and fiddled with the straps of his black backpack.

Most of the passengers had left the airplane. But before Yoongi leaves with his manager, something metallic clinked on his sneakers. His manager crouched down before he did and picked the object up.

“Can’t forget the ring when you’re meeting the wife...take it from me,” his manager returns Yoongi’s ring to him. “It keeps slipping out my finger, I think I’m losing too much weight,” Yoongi chuckled short and put them back on with a small wiggle. “VIP arrivals that way…” His manager pointed the way out, “Tell her we missed her around.”

Yoongi nodded, feeling rather bashful and shy. That’s right. You used to work in his entourage as medical staff. Until he had you hitched and away from the stressful job that costs you your mental health. Now, you review staffs’ health records from home and frequently, his. You fell sick prior to the world tour he led, so that’s why he had you staying home. Not that you tailed him often when he works. He just prefers you doing your own thing. His work requires a lot of movement while you had to be static in one place to finish your writing or reading. You were that hot white coat bearer with a sexy full-rimmed glasses and spoke medicine parseltongue. Every time you share a piece of medical knowledge with him or explain a medical condition, Yoongi drools like a lovesick puppy dog inwardly. He can’t wait to have you explain liver cirrhosis everytime he brings up how much he drank when he was away. That was his version of dirty talk.

But where’s my lady love? Yoongi hums. Scanning the room for any glimpse of you. Could you be standing nearby a coffee vending machine, or would you be in convenient stores searching for a mint? Or are you strolling idly in the expanse of the airport in slow, relaxed strides?

No, you’re walking straight towards him with your arms crossed from the entrance, your hair flew back at every trudge you make to close the distance between him and you. He fumbles with the strap of his bag, and a bit slouched to the side. Having to push his head back to see your face from the beak of his black cap and hoodie, while you draw in, closer and closer.

Your hand came in contact with his at the handle of his roller bag first, before you leaned up to his ear and he lowered himself down, “You and I have a lot of things to talk about.” You snatched the roller bag from his grip roughly and Yoongi watched your back getting smaller and smaller as you stormed away. He pouts at the sight and gripping his bag strap tighter, firmer. You passed an acid glance once and expect him to follow closely with a glare. Yoongi’s pouty lips slowly form a smirk and a naughty cock of his eyebrow. He really enjoys it when you’re angry.

The trunk opens with a hydraulic rise, and he helped you carry his own bag inside. It slammed shut and you dashed to the driver seat, knowing that he is often exhausted after a long flight. Engine purrs on, and your focus was interrupted by the sound of his seatbelt clicking. He’s here. He’s really home.

“Do you want to eat anything? Some fast food or anything like that?” You asked. “Yeah, but she’s driving…” He glanced outside the car window like he had said nothing explicit.

“Ha, very funny…” the car reversed and exited the parking lot with no hiccups, but the situation isn’t going to be smooth on the inside, “Don’t think that snarky remarks will get you anywhere near this coochie.”

Yoongi let out a tiny scoff to the window, shifting in his seat as the view of the city he calls home, come to sight. Miraculously, he has made it home within a month. Although the reunion was bittersweet and that he landed on soil knowing that you’re mad at him, he is well-informed by your passive behavior when you missed him the most. That much is true. And it needs no extra explanation.

How was Amsterdam?

“Cold. Great sound system… decent steak,” he answered. You smiled to yourself, noticing how much you missed his aloof response. Few words, big heart. That’s Min Yoongi for you.

“I think I made a great steak a few days ago…” you took the chance to brag on yourself and Yoongi switches to the side where you sat driving. Hands between his knees, eyes doe and soft.

“Tell me more about what you did…” he said, in a gentle voice.

“Nothing much. I proofread a medical article, cooked for myself, write a bit, stare at the 2 selfies you took last two years. Sniff your hoodie, organize your shoe collection, vacuum GeniusLab2, visit Holly at your parents. I made him this cute ass leash that I knitted on my own. He had stomach flu, so I took him to the vets. He’s okay now, though.”

“I wanted to video call more, but I didn’t have the time…” Yoongi complaints.

“You don’t remember?” You crumpled your face at the road before glancing briefly at him. You could see Yoongi’s confused expression. Head tilted to the side, his mouth opens and closes several times without a word uttered out. He really didn’t remember.

“Baby bear, you called me twice in a drowsy state…” you offered a line of explanation but the contortion on his face suggests that he requires more, “You drunk video call me to tell me you had a sandwich and fell asleep before you could tell me what was inside… Three days after that, you called me again but you were already snoring when I answered.”

“I don’t recall…” he hums.

“Anyways, whatever… that’s cute though. Also, this 3 million villa you bought, what’s the story?” you snapped, at the same time, you turn at the corner of the city smoothly.

“It’s not a penthouse like you said I shouldn’t get, so technically, I didn’t go against your words,” he sang. “How on earth did you carry 3 million in cash?” You scowled. “With many briefcases,” he retorted with a thin smile.

You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing because you wanted to be focused on being serious and mature. But the quick reply had you snickering. Such a matter-of-fact answer. His face lights up at your response.

“You said that we’re going to furniture shopping. Do you even have time to do that?” you stopped at the security cottage and flashed your residence card on the pad the divider retracts open.

“I knew you were going to make a dispute out of it. So I made sure Namjoon allows it,” Yoongi laced his fingers together, and made a dark chuckling sound.

“What did you do to him this time…” you felt uneasy already. The last time he wanted a day off, Yoongi hid Namjoon’s passport so the trip could be delayed for a day or two. He purchased a movie on Netflix and wanted to watch it with you.

He simply gave you that creepy smile and you already know.

“You put laxatives in his drinks, my god.” “It is my most brilliant plan of all.” “Yoongi!” “What...he said he was constipating. I am doing him a favor.”

Why wouldn’t he constipate from the amount of caffeine he had been consuming. You thought.

Everyone’s definition of success is different. Everyone’s definition of married life is also different. The married life you shared with Yoongi was entirely on a different level. There are no guidelines for marrying a music producer this world famous. So you focused on being a wife. If everything else in his life isn’t normal, then being married is.

The moment he steps inside the home he shared with you, you noticed he stifled a yawn. His eyes falling droopy at the sight of his long sought after nest.

“I’m going to get a late lunch going, and you can go lay down on the bed in your indoor clothes…” “No, I want to help in the kitchen…” “Look at your eyes, they’re barely open… go rest.”

But he wanted to unpack because he got you something.

“It’s a cross-stitch table runner…” he lays his head on his palm, curled on his side, watching your big grin as you unravel the precious gift. He remembered that you wanted to buy this the last time you were there. He got the correct design and correct color too.

“You got them custom-made,” you gasped excitedly, and then shrink your voice at him, “Thank you...it’s so pretty.” Pulling the runner into a hug while Yoongi chuckles sleepily.

Yoongi was less interested in his stories and more engaged in yours. All his relatives that he can call strangers because they rarely meet, his family members that have seen you more than they’ve seen him. He silently is grateful for you being here, being the glue between his family and close friends, an invincible knot that keeps him grounded and gave him the sense of belonging.

He drifts mid-through your stories and latest gossip. As you sat on the floor next to the bed, unpacking his luggage one-by-one, you no longer hear his response. You glanced to the side and saw him sleeping soundly. You could only imagine how many hours he could when he’s away in a foreign country. Yoongi somehow can appear to be sleeping but is in fact, listening to all the conversations surrounding him. You and he share that talent. But this time, he slept for real--the energy replenishing, body rejuvenating sleep. There’s soft snorings and little shudders from time to time. Your gaze fell from his fringes to his brows, down the slope of his nose and his doll-like lips.

Last clothing to be unpack looked familiar. It was yours. That’s endearing. He always packs one clothing that belonged to you. You know, for when he ‘misses his wife so much he could die’ moments. You don’t know when he snuck them in, but it’s probably when you’re busy at the living room, or the bathroom, making sure he didn’t forget anything. The luggage is taken away from the bedroom and into his home studio, where it stays until its service is required again--which you suspect, won’t be long.

You slid the blanket above his shoulder, and tuck him in like you would a child. He looks so tired and it breaks your heart that he has to leave again. It’s like a cycle. At least you can see him eat today, with your own eyes, so let’s get started with the lunch.

Nothing extravagant. Just broiled spinach, fermented white baby radish from last week, and warm chicken soup with ginseng to help him re-energized. But he isn’t awake yet. That’s alright, you can reheat everything when he’s up. He still needs his much-acquired sleep. With that thought, you disappear into the bathroom and undressed. Sweating from cooking, body sticky with remnants of watery expels urged you to shower before the sun is completely down. You don’t usually shower this early, but with Yoongi around, you felt self-conscious. He doesn’t know this, but you will always want to smell nice for him. Isn’t that the very core of being a wife? Being extra hygienic for the hubby? To keep him interested? Especially Yoongi, because he is constantly away and accompanied by many attractive females?

You discarded the dampened shirt outside the door of the bathroom and swung it shut as gently as you can. Off goes the bra, then the panties. The shower head expels drizzling liquid, the steam floats up to the ceiling and the glass door get fogged up from the heat. Water pools at your feet as you readied your face underneath the shower to come into contact with the sprinkles. The pleasure of a simple shower after a good sweat is ultimately unmatched.

So endorsed in your time alone, Yoongi pushes the door wider. He had come awake when he heard you turned the knob shut. He discarded his pants on the way, and pulled his black shirt over his head, charging forward like a soldier on his way to a battleground he intends to win. Then he discarded his last piece of clothing, his boxers. Afterward, he trudges into the shower cubicle where you were standing, facing away from him. “You thought I was too tired for a shower session with you?” His voice deeps lower than usual, as he snakes one arm around your naked waist, skin to skin, Yoongi sunk his teeth on your shoulder and you turned around wearing a big smile to greet him. “No I thought you wouldn’t be able to handle any sessions with me…” you smartly replied. Yoongi smiled into the kiss that began innocently enough and gradually increase in intensity and power as the seconds passed. Your arms slick against his shoulder as he held on palm flat on the walls of the shower, he stands directly underneath the shower head now--refusing to let go of your lips even when you tap out for a breath. A seasoned rapper’s lung capacity isn’t a shy away from a Navy diver. Provided with the long abstinence and accumulating want, Yoongi isn’t just going to stop here in the shower, best believe, he is going to continue making love to you in all the rooms available in this house until he’s finally sated.

His handprints on the fogged glass door is significantly larger than yours. The slippery sound of sliding skin filled your ears, and your strangled moans could only suggest an impending euphoric sensation you had longed for, since the last time he’s here. And Yoongi is a determined soul. The thrusts are languid and deep. From the way he buried his face in the crook of your neck, eliciting heavy desperate pants implies that he had been imagining this on his lonely nights for too long. His touches were too precise and calculated, coming from a veteran lover who knows his wife’s body like the back of his hand. Yoongi’s glazed orbs that greeted you in the midst of the steamy love-making, felt foreign yet familiar. But his lips that conquered yours right after the heaty glance was definitely, without a doubt, Yoongi’s. The time apart had made him a stranger to your body, and the passion that almost fizzled out from the distance had reignited to another degree.

“Fuck I miss you,” he breathlessly says against your ear. You didn’t stutter or faltered back into the lust like you used to when you first dated him. Instead, you smiled into his confessions and bit your grin--no longer shy to show how much you love having these moments with him. More, you encouraged him with your touches and sweet mewls.

I like the whispers you added at the end. She says.

No matter what the public critic might say, Yoongi’s only verdict comes from his wife. His true achievements and outcomes of his work rely heavily on what you may say. But your words can be sarcastic and Yoongi doesn’t like having to guess what you truly meant.

“You always say something like that…” “I don’t know what you want me to say,” you shrugged as you scooped out a bowl of rice for him, “I like the whisper part and that’s the truth.” “How many times did you listen to it… be honest,” Yoongi took his bowl from you.

You tipped your eyes up to the ceiling and clicked your tongue. Somehow Yoongi caught the expression.

“Are you serious…” he began, eyes following you as you pulled the chair next to him out, “Okay, fine. Do you listen more of Jimin’s Promise or my collab song?”

You added a long hum, not intending to give him the answer he wants to hear. “Technically, Jimin’s Promise came out first--”

“--don’t talk to me,” he darted.

Instinctively, you covered his knee with one palm, to soothe him. But of course, Yoongi wouldn’t let you console him that quickly.

“I spent nights writing that song while touring… Am I asking too much of you, to just listen to me more than you do Jimin’s, but no. Ultimately, I’m always the second choice for the industry AND my wife. Fine, I don’t care...I don’t want to care anymore. I worked so hard to earn money for you to spend, and all I’m requesting is that you be my harsh critic but you’re apparently too busy to listen to my songs. Hmm, I see how it is.”

“To even things out, you never told me you’re releasing a song…” you shrugged.

Yoongi set his chopstick down, clinking while you continued eating.

“To top it all, you watched dramas without me,” he tipped a glass of water into his mouth like he would a cup of soju, “Our drama.”

You knew he is just picking fights with you because to him, a fight is also a conversation.

“Gosh Alexa, this is so sad, play Seesaw,” you exclaimed with a forlorn sigh, “What do you propose I do? Wait for you until you come back? The second season would have begun by the time you returned, Yoongi… You have cities to tour, fans to meet and stages to check, and what about me? I have this house, Netflix and the chili plant outside. You’re being a little mean to me right now… my priorities aren’t always you, you know.”

Yoongi was deafened by the last sentence you said, that he couldn’t hear the rest of the off-topic conversations you promptly added after it. You didn’t seem to notice that you’ve hurt him. That’s the inspiration behind his rap verse ‘my razor tongue wife with a stone in her hand’. He likes that you’re honest and has trained you to be tougher, but the blade he sharpens strikes him once in a while when needed. He doesn’t apologize, he makes amends with his actions. He tries to be ultimately present when he’s here. When he’s home.

Like now, he sat on the floor, with a writing pad while you washed dishes.

“Turmeric powder. Can you check if it’s on the grocery list?” You raised your voice a little so he could hear from the living room. He puffed his cheeks with his cap turned backward, scanning down the awfully long list of things you needed to get for the family dinner this weekend.

“Nope,” he writes them scraggly underneath your neat writing. Then he heard you listed a number of things and gifts you planned to get before the weekend comes. Presents for your parents, and his; his nephews, his older brother’s birthday that he himself didn’t remember, a flower bouquet for his aunt who just opened a restaurant. He made a mental note to transfer a large amount of money into your account later.

“Is the villa far from here?” you asked him, wiping your kitchen stove down, spotless. “Not very… you’ll see when you drive there later,” Yoongi murmured to his chest, filling colors on the heart he drew on the grocery list, next to “Yoongi’s wife grocery list”.

“Also, I wanted to get grilled beef slices in that restaurant…” Yoongi promised to take you to the restaurant you had been wanting to go to, in two days time. Until a message from his manager came.

“...it would taste so damn good…” your mouth waters at the thought of it but when you looked across the counter at Yoongi perplexed gaze sitting on the floor there in the living room, you somehow caught what he didn’t, or rather--couldn’t say. That look could only mean one thing.

That the luggage you pushed into his studio is going to get another traveling sticker. That the restaurant trip is not going to happen. That you will be strolling aimlessly in this huge house. That you will be visiting the villa he bought alone. That your wedding picture and ring will be the only proof that you’re somehow married.

To the worldly loved, worldly known...the beautiful tragic, Min Yoongi.

Because he couldn’t keep his promise, you had him doing something similar to it. Peeking at his bobbing head, through your iPad playing Candy Crush, you smiled to yourself.

“Make sure you get all my toenails trimmed and neatened,” Yoongi lifts his head up short, sitting on the floor, with your heel digging onto his thigh as he nodded. “What color do you want for the polish?” He asked, getting cross-eyed as he hones the sharp edges of your nail, shorter.

“Your hair color right now…” “Babe, this is out of context…but” he dragged, “remember the voice note you sent me during the crash meeting with the staff?”

“The one I cursed at you? Yeah...why?” “It turns me on,” He hides his smile by lowering his face from you. What a strange yet tantalizing thought.

[jmlascar]

long tag for the bae

I was planning to work on my fic but then @krasnyzmeya posted this tag and said she’d like to read my answers so obviously this is what my productive brain chose to do! But it was fun haha (also bby your answers cracked me up so much, especially your mom’s quote, she’s a legend) 

1. Coke or Pepsi: oh man I drink way too much diet coke

2: Disney or Dreamworks: I love Disney songs, but i’ll have to go with Dreamworks because you don’t get more brilliant than Shrek. Also How to train your dragon makes me cry and I think the internet needs to thank them for the utter weirdness that was the Bee Movie. It gave birth to some quality memes.

3: Coffee or tea: Tea, because I like just about any type, whereas I’m very specific about my coffee. But I drink a lot of both.

4: Books or movies: Books.

5: Windows or Mac: I was raised by the biggest Mac fanboy this planet ever saw, so that’s what I’m most familiar with, haha.

6: DC or Marvel: DC for the comics, Marvel for the TV shows, both for the movies. (is this cheating?) (whatever that question is cheating) (you can’t just pick one)

7: Xbox or Playstation: Nintendo DS. Tbh I never played the other two. We did have a playstation at home but it effectively became my brother’s.

8: Dragon Age or Mass Effect: I haven’t played either, but from what I’ve heard of it Dragon Age looks really cool.

9: Night owl or early riser: It is currently 2:45am. Definitely night owl. (If only for the owl part.)

10: Cards or chess: I love chess.

11: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.

12: Vans or Converse: …I only wear boots? But I’ve owned my fair share of Converses in the past, so that.

13: Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Are these Dragon Age characters? Idk. Whoever’s gayest, probably.

14: Fluff or angst: I want fluff in my life and angst in my books.

15: Beach or forest: Forest. ‘I hate sand. It’s coarse and rough and it gets everywhere.’ –> my life

16: Dogs or Cats: …this is just cruel. 

17: Clear skies or rain: Rain rain rain

18: Cooking or eating out: Cooking is pretty nice, even if i’m often too lazy to do it properly. Cooking with friends is especially fun. 

19: Spicy food or mild food: I am so weak. Spice makes me cry. My tastes are boringly mild, lol. 

20: Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Halloweeen, because candy, scary movies, and cool costumes!

21: Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot (and no the winter coats and AC’s are not an option): I mean… normally I prefer cold over heat, but that’s because I get to be warm and fuzzy in my blankets. But if that doesn’t warm me up, I’d probably pick hot and drink lots of iced tea? But would the ice tea feel cool or?? idk the physics of that question hurts my brain lol

22: If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Controlling time! Or super memory.

23: Animation or live action: That’s so broad, I’m not even going to begin trying to pick one, man. 

24: Paragon or renegade: I don’t know what this is. But Renegade sounds edgy. So that.

25: Baths or showers: Give me a lavender scented bubble bath and i’ll probably ask you to marry me

26: Team Cap or Team Ironman: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN 

27: Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Sci-Fi

28: Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they? If not do you think you will in future? I’ve got sooo many, hahaha. I have a tendency to fall in love with pretty words. Let me pick the ones I can think off the top of my head:

from A Streecar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams: “They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at — Elysian Fields!”

from the Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison: “Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another — physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought.”

from Giovanni’s Room, Hames Baldwin: “Touch, but no contact. All touch, but no contact and no light.” I asked him: “Why?” “That you must ask yourself,” he told me, “and perhaps one day this morning will not be ashes in your mouth.”

from The Lake, Alphonse de la Martine: “Mais je demande en vain quelques moments encore, Le temps m'échappe et fuit ; Je dis à cette nuit : Sois plus lente ; et l'aurore Va dissiper la nuit.”

English translation: "But I demand in vain a few moments again Time escapes and runs away from me I tell that night: Be slower; yet the dawn Will dissipate the night.“ 

from salt. by Nayyirah Waheed: ” ‘no’ might make them angry. but it will make you free. — if no one ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger

29: Youtube or Netflix: Netflix. Their originals are the best of what tv can make, and they’ve never disappointed me so far.

30. Classic Disney, Disney Renaissance, or Modern Disney? Renaissance.

31. What would you tell your younger self? “Don’t listen to them. Keep being you. It’s going to be ok.”

32. If you could change one thing about the world around you, what would it be? I would make us all one hermaphrodite gender.

33. Make music or listen to music? @meta-duckling will tell you I’m off-tune and deprived of rhythmic sense (i’ll never forget nor forgive, nathan. never.) sooo i’ll go with listening, haha. I did play the harpsichord for a couple of years (& if you think it’s a lame outdated instrument just remember that hannibal lecter plays it, so u might wanna be careful, just saying) and used to sing kinda well but now it’s all gone

34. Slow burn or Oneshot?: Definitely slow burns. Big books and 300k word long fics with heaps of subtle character development give me life. That being said, I have a couple of one-shots I really love out there, and I think I’d enjoy writing one.

and I’ll tag @meta-duckling because i know how much you love making decisions ♡

[almajonesnjna]

6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night

Before we dig in, let’s talk about the title of this article: it’s “overeating,” not “eating”. 

In itself, eating at night is a non-issue when it comes to fat loss.

Total calories are the primary driver of fat loss and gain, not what time you eat them, and avoiding food after a certain hour is an unnecessary stressor for most people.

But nighttime overeating, by which I mean eating enough to put you in a calorie surplus (eating more than you burn), can absolutely lead to fat gain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you know what kind of eating I’m talking about. You finish dinner at 7:00 PM, then get hungry again around 9:00 PM while watching TV. A few Oreos turns into a full sleeve, and before you know it, you’re neck-deep in Pop-Tart wrappers.

You’re left thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Nothing, actually. Your issue wasn’t a lack of self-control. It’s a lack of preparation and proactivity, so check out these six steps to make sure you’re prepared when your next craving hits. 

1. Go to Bed Earlier

Very few of us are actually productive after dinnertime. Is there really a need to be up several hours beyond that?

If you don’t think you can fall asleep earlier, that needs to become your top priority. If you’re asleep, you quite literally don’t give yourself the chance to overeat.

As painfully obvious as that sounds, it’s often never addressed. We continue to stay up, watching Netflix and checking email, wondering how on earth we struggle with late night snacking.

Here are some ways to improve your sleep habits and quality:

Develop a consistent bedtime ritual.

Leave electronics out of your room.

Make sure your room is blacked out.

Keep your room relatively cool (65-70 degrees).

If you’ve been crashing at 2:00 AM, don’t try to radically change yours sleep habits right away. Using these strategies, try hitting the hay earlier over time.

The end goal should be 11:00 PM or earlier. It’s also important to note that adequate sleep also minimizes next-day cravings.

2. Have a More Filling Dinner

If you’re hungry all of seven and a half minutes after dinner, it’s not a cravings issue. It’s a meal composition issue.

Significantly upping your protein and vegetable intake will leave you feeling full for hours.

Aim for 30-40 grams of protein and 1-2 servings of vegetables for dinner. This is a minimum goal, and even more can be helpful.

I find a stir fry to be one of the easiest ways to satisfy that goal. Prep some meat (chicken, lean ground beef, etc.), prep some vegetables (broccoli, zucchini, squash, peppers, onions), and mix them together. Add a little stir fry sauce or olive oil, and you’re good to go.

If you still find yourself hungry after a dinner like this, reassess your protein intake as a whole. You’re probably falling short well before dinner.

You can also push back your dinner to a reasonably late time, which will help you avoid going to bed starving. Also, it’s good to note that eating too close to bed (<60 minutes) can negatively impact sleep.

3. Keep Food Out of Sight

After dinner is over, shut down the kitchen for the night.

If you have treats on the counter, staring you in the face while you’re watching TV, you’re going to cave. You’re human.

I’m personally guilty of grabbing cashews every time I leave them out. During each commercial, I’ll snag a few more. A couple handfuls later, I’m 500+ calories deep—without actually being hungry for them.

Avoid having snackable food on the counter, island, or top of your fridge. Put everything away before leaving the kitchen. It’s natural to want to pick into food that’s right in front of us.

Don’t give yourself that temptation. 

4. Have a Low-Calorie Snack

As mentioned, eating at night is a non-issue for fat loss. However, eating too many calories is. Having a lower calorie food choice can be a perfectly viable late night snack.

You can try snacks like:

Cottage cheese

Non-fat Greek yogurt

Vegetables (baby carrots, cucumbers, celery)

Low-fat cheese sticks

Fruit (apples, bananas, blueberries)

Leftovers from dinner

Nuts (cashews, almonds, peanuts)(With fat loss goals, you’ll probably want to limit your portions here.)

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with having some treats, too. As long as nutritious foods make up most of your calories, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun foods in moderation.

You can go as far as leaving 10% of your daily calories for an enjoyable nighttime snack. Nutritious or not, you’ll still make fat loss progress if calories are accounted for.

5. Leave No Room For Failure

Very, very few of us have the willpower to sit on the couch—especially late at night—and not be tempted by snack food.

The painfully obvious, but also ignored solution: stop bringing that shit home.

You have to give yourself a fighting chance at success. It’s nearly impossible to stay on track with cookies in the cabinets, chips on the table, and ice cream in the freezer.

It’s important to enjoy all these foods from time to time, for the sake of balance and sustainability. But let those times be away from home. Your environment makes all the difference.

If you have a significant other or child who “needs” their snacks, consider bringing home single-serving options. That way, even if you do slip up, you won’t end up looking at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream.

6. Reassess The Cause (And Be Proactive)

Sometimes nighttime overeating has nothing to with hunger. Sometimes it’s the symptom of a bigger problem, like depriving yourself on a diet.

If you try to lose fat by “completely cutting out all the unhealthy stuff,” you’re making a mistake. Regularly incorporating your favorite treats, in moderation, will prevent feelings of underlying deprivation that can cause late night overeating.

Your late night overeating could also be emotionally based.

If you think this may be the case, it’s important to develop self-awareness. If you’re eating because of stress or anxiety, overeating will make those feelings worse. Figure out the root cause of your emotional turmoil and replace your negative coping behavior (overeating) with a positive one (exercise, reading, meditation, etc.).

Finally, if you slip up, remember to quickly forgive yourself and get back to business.

A few times won’t affect your long-term progress.

What will affect your overall progress is letting one mistake turn into two, three, four, etc. Fat loss doesn’t require perfection; it requires consistency.

Take these steps to avoid nighttime overeating, but when it inevitably happens, don’t stress out. Know that a single night of overeating means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just get back on track the very next morning, and you’ll be good. 

The post 6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

http://ift.tt/2EHwjh2

[johnclapperne]

6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night

Before we dig in, let’s talk about the title of this article: it’s “overeating,” not “eating”. 

In itself, eating at night is a non-issue when it comes to fat loss.

Total calories are the primary driver of fat loss and gain, not what time you eat them, and avoiding food after a certain hour is an unnecessary stressor for most people.

But nighttime overeating, by which I mean eating enough to put you in a calorie surplus (eating more than you burn), can absolutely lead to fat gain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you know what kind of eating I’m talking about. You finish dinner at 7:00 PM, then get hungry again around 9:00 PM while watching TV. A few Oreos turns into a full sleeve, and before you know it, you’re neck-deep in Pop-Tart wrappers.

You’re left thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Nothing, actually. Your issue wasn’t a lack of self-control. It’s a lack of preparation and proactivity, so check out these six steps to make sure you’re prepared when your next craving hits. 

1. Go to Bed Earlier

Very few of us are actually productive after dinnertime. Is there really a need to be up several hours beyond that?

If you don’t think you can fall asleep earlier, that needs to become your top priority. If you’re asleep, you quite literally don’t give yourself the chance to overeat.

As painfully obvious as that sounds, it’s often never addressed. We continue to stay up, watching Netflix and checking email, wondering how on earth we struggle with late night snacking.

Here are some ways to improve your sleep habits and quality:

Develop a consistent bedtime ritual.

Leave electronics out of your room.

Make sure your room is blacked out.

Keep your room relatively cool (65-70 degrees).

If you’ve been crashing at 2:00 AM, don’t try to radically change yours sleep habits right away. Using these strategies, try hitting the hay earlier over time.

The end goal should be 11:00 PM or earlier. It’s also important to note that adequate sleep also minimizes next-day cravings.

2. Have a More Filling Dinner

If you’re hungry all of seven and a half minutes after dinner, it’s not a cravings issue. It’s a meal composition issue.

Significantly upping your protein and vegetable intake will leave you feeling full for hours.

Aim for 30-40 grams of protein and 1-2 servings of vegetables for dinner. This is a minimum goal, and even more can be helpful.

I find a stir fry to be one of the easiest ways to satisfy that goal. Prep some meat (chicken, lean ground beef, etc.), prep some vegetables (broccoli, zucchini, squash, peppers, onions), and mix them together. Add a little stir fry sauce or olive oil, and you’re good to go.

If you still find yourself hungry after a dinner like this, reassess your protein intake as a whole. You’re probably falling short well before dinner.

You can also push back your dinner to a reasonably late time, which will help you avoid going to bed starving. Also, it’s good to note that eating too close to bed (<60 minutes) can negatively impact sleep.

3. Keep Food Out of Sight

After dinner is over, shut down the kitchen for the night.

If you have treats on the counter, staring you in the face while you’re watching TV, you’re going to cave. You’re human.

I’m personally guilty of grabbing cashews every time I leave them out. During each commercial, I’ll snag a few more. A couple handfuls later, I’m 500+ calories deep—without actually being hungry for them.

Avoid having snackable food on the counter, island, or top of your fridge. Put everything away before leaving the kitchen. It’s natural to want to pick into food that’s right in front of us.

Don’t give yourself that temptation. 

4. Have a Low-Calorie Snack

As mentioned, eating at night is a non-issue for fat loss. However, eating too many calories is. Having a lower calorie food choice can be a perfectly viable late night snack.

You can try snacks like:

Cottage cheese

Non-fat Greek yogurt

Vegetables (baby carrots, cucumbers, celery)

Low-fat cheese sticks

Fruit (apples, bananas, blueberries)

Leftovers from dinner

Nuts (cashews, almonds, peanuts)(With fat loss goals, you’ll probably want to limit your portions here.)

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with having some treats, too. As long as nutritious foods make up most of your calories, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun foods in moderation.

You can go as far as leaving 10% of your daily calories for an enjoyable nighttime snack. Nutritious or not, you’ll still make fat loss progress if calories are accounted for.

5. Leave No Room For Failure

Very, very few of us have the willpower to sit on the couch—especially late at night—and not be tempted by snack food.

The painfully obvious, but also ignored solution: stop bringing that shit home.

You have to give yourself a fighting chance at success. It’s nearly impossible to stay on track with cookies in the cabinets, chips on the table, and ice cream in the freezer.

It’s important to enjoy all these foods from time to time, for the sake of balance and sustainability. But let those times be away from home. Your environment makes all the difference.

If you have a significant other or child who “needs” their snacks, consider bringing home single-serving options. That way, even if you do slip up, you won’t end up looking at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream.

6. Reassess The Cause (And Be Proactive)

Sometimes nighttime overeating has nothing to with hunger. Sometimes it’s the symptom of a bigger problem, like depriving yourself on a diet.

If you try to lose fat by “completely cutting out all the unhealthy stuff,” you’re making a mistake. Regularly incorporating your favorite treats, in moderation, will prevent feelings of underlying deprivation that can cause late night overeating.

Your late night overeating could also be emotionally based.

If you think this may be the case, it’s important to develop self-awareness. If you’re eating because of stress or anxiety, overeating will make those feelings worse. Figure out the root cause of your emotional turmoil and replace your negative coping behavior (overeating) with a positive one (exercise, reading, meditation, etc.).

Finally, if you slip up, remember to quickly forgive yourself and get back to business.

A few times won’t affect your long-term progress.

What will affect your overall progress is letting one mistake turn into two, three, four, etc. Fat loss doesn’t require perfection; it requires consistency.

Take these steps to avoid nighttime overeating, but when it inevitably happens, don’t stress out. Know that a single night of overeating means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just get back on track the very next morning, and you’ll be good. 

The post 6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

http://ift.tt/2EHwjh2

[neilmillerne]

6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night

Before we dig in, let’s talk about the title of this article: it’s “overeating,” not “eating”. 

In itself, eating at night is a non-issue when it comes to fat loss.

Total calories are the primary driver of fat loss and gain, not what time you eat them, and avoiding food after a certain hour is an unnecessary stressor for most people.

But nighttime overeating, by which I mean eating enough to put you in a calorie surplus (eating more than you burn), can absolutely lead to fat gain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you know what kind of eating I’m talking about. You finish dinner at 7:00 PM, then get hungry again around 9:00 PM while watching TV. A few Oreos turns into a full sleeve, and before you know it, you’re neck-deep in Pop-Tart wrappers.

You’re left thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Nothing, actually. Your issue wasn’t a lack of self-control. It’s a lack of preparation and proactivity, so check out these six steps to make sure you’re prepared when your next craving hits. 

1. Go to Bed Earlier

Very few of us are actually productive after dinnertime. Is there really a need to be up several hours beyond that?

If you don’t think you can fall asleep earlier, that needs to become your top priority. If you’re asleep, you quite literally don’t give yourself the chance to overeat.

As painfully obvious as that sounds, it’s often never addressed. We continue to stay up, watching Netflix and checking email, wondering how on earth we struggle with late night snacking.

Here are some ways to improve your sleep habits and quality:

Develop a consistent bedtime ritual.

Leave electronics out of your room.

Make sure your room is blacked out.

Keep your room relatively cool (65-70 degrees).

If you’ve been crashing at 2:00 AM, don’t try to radically change yours sleep habits right away. Using these strategies, try hitting the hay earlier over time.

The end goal should be 11:00 PM or earlier. It’s also important to note that adequate sleep also minimizes next-day cravings.

2. Have a More Filling Dinner

If you’re hungry all of seven and a half minutes after dinner, it’s not a cravings issue. It’s a meal composition issue.

Significantly upping your protein and vegetable intake will leave you feeling full for hours.

Aim for 30-40 grams of protein and 1-2 servings of vegetables for dinner. This is a minimum goal, and even more can be helpful.

I find a stir fry to be one of the easiest ways to satisfy that goal. Prep some meat (chicken, lean ground beef, etc.), prep some vegetables (broccoli, zucchini, squash, peppers, onions), and mix them together. Add a little stir fry sauce or olive oil, and you’re good to go.

If you still find yourself hungry after a dinner like this, reassess your protein intake as a whole. You’re probably falling short well before dinner.

You can also push back your dinner to a reasonably late time, which will help you avoid going to bed starving. Also, it’s good to note that eating too close to bed (<60 minutes) can negatively impact sleep.

3. Keep Food Out of Sight

After dinner is over, shut down the kitchen for the night.

If you have treats on the counter, staring you in the face while you’re watching TV, you’re going to cave. You’re human.

I’m personally guilty of grabbing cashews every time I leave them out. During each commercial, I’ll snag a few more. A couple handfuls later, I’m 500+ calories deep—without actually being hungry for them.

Avoid having snackable food on the counter, island, or top of your fridge. Put everything away before leaving the kitchen. It’s natural to want to pick into food that’s right in front of us.

Don’t give yourself that temptation. 

4. Have a Low-Calorie Snack

As mentioned, eating at night is a non-issue for fat loss. However, eating too many calories is. Having a lower calorie food choice can be a perfectly viable late night snack.

You can try snacks like:

Cottage cheese

Non-fat Greek yogurt

Vegetables (baby carrots, cucumbers, celery)

Low-fat cheese sticks

Fruit (apples, bananas, blueberries)

Leftovers from dinner

Nuts (cashews, almonds, peanuts)(With fat loss goals, you’ll probably want to limit your portions here.)

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with having some treats, too. As long as nutritious foods make up most of your calories, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun foods in moderation.

You can go as far as leaving 10% of your daily calories for an enjoyable nighttime snack. Nutritious or not, you’ll still make fat loss progress if calories are accounted for.

5. Leave No Room For Failure

Very, very few of us have the willpower to sit on the couch—especially late at night—and not be tempted by snack food.

The painfully obvious, but also ignored solution: stop bringing that shit home.

You have to give yourself a fighting chance at success. It’s nearly impossible to stay on track with cookies in the cabinets, chips on the table, and ice cream in the freezer.

It’s important to enjoy all these foods from time to time, for the sake of balance and sustainability. But let those times be away from home. Your environment makes all the difference.

If you have a significant other or child who “needs” their snacks, consider bringing home single-serving options. That way, even if you do slip up, you won’t end up looking at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream.

6. Reassess The Cause (And Be Proactive)

Sometimes nighttime overeating has nothing to with hunger. Sometimes it’s the symptom of a bigger problem, like depriving yourself on a diet.

If you try to lose fat by “completely cutting out all the unhealthy stuff,” you’re making a mistake. Regularly incorporating your favorite treats, in moderation, will prevent feelings of underlying deprivation that can cause late night overeating.

Your late night overeating could also be emotionally based.

If you think this may be the case, it’s important to develop self-awareness. If you’re eating because of stress or anxiety, overeating will make those feelings worse. Figure out the root cause of your emotional turmoil and replace your negative coping behavior (overeating) with a positive one (exercise, reading, meditation, etc.).

Finally, if you slip up, remember to quickly forgive yourself and get back to business.

A few times won’t affect your long-term progress.

What will affect your overall progress is letting one mistake turn into two, three, four, etc. Fat loss doesn’t require perfection; it requires consistency.

Take these steps to avoid nighttime overeating, but when it inevitably happens, don’t stress out. Know that a single night of overeating means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just get back on track the very next morning, and you’ll be good. 

The post 6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

http://ift.tt/2EHwjh2

[ruthellisneda]

6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night

Before we dig in, let’s talk about the title of this article: it’s “overeating,” not “eating”. 

In itself, eating at night is a non-issue when it comes to fat loss.

Total calories are the primary driver of fat loss and gain, not what time you eat them, and avoiding food after a certain hour is an unnecessary stressor for most people.

But nighttime overeating, by which I mean eating enough to put you in a calorie surplus (eating more than you burn), can absolutely lead to fat gain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you know what kind of eating I’m talking about. You finish dinner at 7:00 PM, then get hungry again around 9:00 PM while watching TV. A few Oreos turns into a full sleeve, and before you know it, you’re neck-deep in Pop-Tart wrappers.

You’re left thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Nothing, actually. Your issue wasn’t a lack of self-control. It’s a lack of preparation and proactivity, so check out these six steps to make sure you’re prepared when your next craving hits. 

1. Go to Bed Earlier

Very few of us are actually productive after dinnertime. Is there really a need to be up several hours beyond that?

If you don’t think you can fall asleep earlier, that needs to become your top priority. If you’re asleep, you quite literally don’t give yourself the chance to overeat.

As painfully obvious as that sounds, it’s often never addressed. We continue to stay up, watching Netflix and checking email, wondering how on earth we struggle with late night snacking.

Here are some ways to improve your sleep habits and quality:

Develop a consistent bedtime ritual.

Leave electronics out of your room.

Make sure your room is blacked out.

Keep your room relatively cool (65-70 degrees).

If you’ve been crashing at 2:00 AM, don’t try to radically change yours sleep habits right away. Using these strategies, try hitting the hay earlier over time.

The end goal should be 11:00 PM or earlier. It’s also important to note that adequate sleep also minimizes next-day cravings.

2. Have a More Filling Dinner

If you’re hungry all of seven and a half minutes after dinner, it’s not a cravings issue. It’s a meal composition issue.

Significantly upping your protein and vegetable intake will leave you feeling full for hours.

Aim for 30-40 grams of protein and 1-2 servings of vegetables for dinner. This is a minimum goal, and even more can be helpful.

I find a stir fry to be one of the easiest ways to satisfy that goal. Prep some meat (chicken, lean ground beef, etc.), prep some vegetables (broccoli, zucchini, squash, peppers, onions), and mix them together. Add a little stir fry sauce or olive oil, and you’re good to go.

If you still find yourself hungry after a dinner like this, reassess your protein intake as a whole. You’re probably falling short well before dinner.

You can also push back your dinner to a reasonably late time, which will help you avoid going to bed starving. Also, it’s good to note that eating too close to bed (<60 minutes) can negatively impact sleep.

3. Keep Food Out of Sight

After dinner is over, shut down the kitchen for the night.

If you have treats on the counter, staring you in the face while you’re watching TV, you’re going to cave. You’re human.

I’m personally guilty of grabbing cashews every time I leave them out. During each commercial, I’ll snag a few more. A couple handfuls later, I’m 500+ calories deep—without actually being hungry for them.

Avoid having snackable food on the counter, island, or top of your fridge. Put everything away before leaving the kitchen. It’s natural to want to pick into food that’s right in front of us.

Don’t give yourself that temptation. 

4. Have a Low-Calorie Snack

As mentioned, eating at night is a non-issue for fat loss. However, eating too many calories is. Having a lower calorie food choice can be a perfectly viable late night snack.

You can try snacks like:

Cottage cheese

Non-fat Greek yogurt

Vegetables (baby carrots, cucumbers, celery)

Low-fat cheese sticks

Fruit (apples, bananas, blueberries)

Leftovers from dinner

Nuts (cashews, almonds, peanuts)(With fat loss goals, you’ll probably want to limit your portions here.)

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with having some treats, too. As long as nutritious foods make up most of your calories, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun foods in moderation.

You can go as far as leaving 10% of your daily calories for an enjoyable nighttime snack. Nutritious or not, you’ll still make fat loss progress if calories are accounted for.

5. Leave No Room For Failure

Very, very few of us have the willpower to sit on the couch—especially late at night—and not be tempted by snack food.

The painfully obvious, but also ignored solution: stop bringing that shit home.

You have to give yourself a fighting chance at success. It’s nearly impossible to stay on track with cookies in the cabinets, chips on the table, and ice cream in the freezer.

It’s important to enjoy all these foods from time to time, for the sake of balance and sustainability. But let those times be away from home. Your environment makes all the difference.

If you have a significant other or child who “needs” their snacks, consider bringing home single-serving options. That way, even if you do slip up, you won’t end up looking at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream.

6. Reassess The Cause (And Be Proactive)

Sometimes nighttime overeating has nothing to with hunger. Sometimes it’s the symptom of a bigger problem, like depriving yourself on a diet.

If you try to lose fat by “completely cutting out all the unhealthy stuff,” you’re making a mistake. Regularly incorporating your favorite treats, in moderation, will prevent feelings of underlying deprivation that can cause late night overeating.

Your late night overeating could also be emotionally based.

If you think this may be the case, it’s important to develop self-awareness. If you’re eating because of stress or anxiety, overeating will make those feelings worse. Figure out the root cause of your emotional turmoil and replace your negative coping behavior (overeating) with a positive one (exercise, reading, meditation, etc.).

Finally, if you slip up, remember to quickly forgive yourself and get back to business.

A few times won’t affect your long-term progress.

What will affect your overall progress is letting one mistake turn into two, three, four, etc. Fat loss doesn’t require perfection; it requires consistency.

Take these steps to avoid nighttime overeating, but when it inevitably happens, don’t stress out. Know that a single night of overeating means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just get back on track the very next morning, and you’ll be good. 

The post 6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

http://ift.tt/2EHwjh2

[joshuabradleyn]

6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night

Before we dig in, let’s talk about the title of this article: it’s “overeating,” not “eating”. 

In itself, eating at night is a non-issue when it comes to fat loss.

Total calories are the primary driver of fat loss and gain, not what time you eat them, and avoiding food after a certain hour is an unnecessary stressor for most people.

But nighttime overeating, by which I mean eating enough to put you in a calorie surplus (eating more than you burn), can absolutely lead to fat gain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you know what kind of eating I’m talking about. You finish dinner at 7:00 PM, then get hungry again around 9:00 PM while watching TV. A few Oreos turns into a full sleeve, and before you know it, you’re neck-deep in Pop-Tart wrappers.

You’re left thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Nothing, actually. Your issue wasn’t a lack of self-control. It’s a lack of preparation and proactivity, so check out these six steps to make sure you’re prepared when your next craving hits. 

1. Go to Bed Earlier

Very few of us are actually productive after dinnertime. Is there really a need to be up several hours beyond that?

If you don’t think you can fall asleep earlier, that needs to become your top priority. If you’re asleep, you quite literally don’t give yourself the chance to overeat.

As painfully obvious as that sounds, it’s often never addressed. We continue to stay up, watching Netflix and checking email, wondering how on earth we struggle with late night snacking.

Here are some ways to improve your sleep habits and quality:

Develop a consistent bedtime ritual.

Leave electronics out of your room.

Make sure your room is blacked out.

Keep your room relatively cool (65-70 degrees).

If you’ve been crashing at 2:00 AM, don’t try to radically change yours sleep habits right away. Using these strategies, try hitting the hay earlier over time.

The end goal should be 11:00 PM or earlier. It’s also important to note that adequate sleep also minimizes next-day cravings.

2. Have a More Filling Dinner

If you’re hungry all of seven and a half minutes after dinner, it’s not a cravings issue. It’s a meal composition issue.

Significantly upping your protein and vegetable intake will leave you feeling full for hours.

Aim for 30-40 grams of protein and 1-2 servings of vegetables for dinner. This is a minimum goal, and even more can be helpful.

I find a stir fry to be one of the easiest ways to satisfy that goal. Prep some meat (chicken, lean ground beef, etc.), prep some vegetables (broccoli, zucchini, squash, peppers, onions), and mix them together. Add a little stir fry sauce or olive oil, and you’re good to go.

If you still find yourself hungry after a dinner like this, reassess your protein intake as a whole. You’re probably falling short well before dinner.

You can also push back your dinner to a reasonably late time, which will help you avoid going to bed starving. Also, it’s good to note that eating too close to bed (<60 minutes) can negatively impact sleep.

3. Keep Food Out of Sight

After dinner is over, shut down the kitchen for the night.

If you have treats on the counter, staring you in the face while you’re watching TV, you’re going to cave. You’re human.

I’m personally guilty of grabbing cashews every time I leave them out. During each commercial, I’ll snag a few more. A couple handfuls later, I’m 500+ calories deep—without actually being hungry for them.

Avoid having snackable food on the counter, island, or top of your fridge. Put everything away before leaving the kitchen. It’s natural to want to pick into food that’s right in front of us.

Don’t give yourself that temptation. 

4. Have a Low-Calorie Snack

As mentioned, eating at night is a non-issue for fat loss. However, eating too many calories is. Having a lower calorie food choice can be a perfectly viable late night snack.

You can try snacks like:

Cottage cheese

Non-fat Greek yogurt

Vegetables (baby carrots, cucumbers, celery)

Low-fat cheese sticks

Fruit (apples, bananas, blueberries)

Leftovers from dinner

Nuts (cashews, almonds, peanuts)(With fat loss goals, you’ll probably want to limit your portions here.)

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with having some treats, too. As long as nutritious foods make up most of your calories, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun foods in moderation.

You can go as far as leaving 10% of your daily calories for an enjoyable nighttime snack. Nutritious or not, you’ll still make fat loss progress if calories are accounted for.

5. Leave No Room For Failure

Very, very few of us have the willpower to sit on the couch—especially late at night—and not be tempted by snack food.

The painfully obvious, but also ignored solution: stop bringing that shit home.

You have to give yourself a fighting chance at success. It’s nearly impossible to stay on track with cookies in the cabinets, chips on the table, and ice cream in the freezer.

It’s important to enjoy all these foods from time to time, for the sake of balance and sustainability. But let those times be away from home. Your environment makes all the difference.

If you have a significant other or child who “needs” their snacks, consider bringing home single-serving options. That way, even if you do slip up, you won’t end up looking at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream.

6. Reassess The Cause (And Be Proactive)

Sometimes nighttime overeating has nothing to with hunger. Sometimes it’s the symptom of a bigger problem, like depriving yourself on a diet.

If you try to lose fat by “completely cutting out all the unhealthy stuff,” you’re making a mistake. Regularly incorporating your favorite treats, in moderation, will prevent feelings of underlying deprivation that can cause late night overeating.

Your late night overeating could also be emotionally based.

If you think this may be the case, it’s important to develop self-awareness. If you’re eating because of stress or anxiety, overeating will make those feelings worse. Figure out the root cause of your emotional turmoil and replace your negative coping behavior (overeating) with a positive one (exercise, reading, meditation, etc.).

Finally, if you slip up, remember to quickly forgive yourself and get back to business.

A few times won’t affect your long-term progress.

What will affect your overall progress is letting one mistake turn into two, three, four, etc. Fat loss doesn’t require perfection; it requires consistency.

Take these steps to avoid nighttime overeating, but when it inevitably happens, don’t stress out. Know that a single night of overeating means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just get back on track the very next morning, and you’ll be good. 

The post 6 Ways to Stop Overeating at Night appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

http://ift.tt/2EHwjh2

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

22 Things Every Woman Should Do Before Turning 22

New blog post! Don't ask me how it happened, but I somehow had my 22cd birthday yesterday! If someone would've told me that, at 22 years old, I would be living in Mankato, Minnesota and teaching a college class, I would've been shocked. As surprising as the last year has been, though, I've had my share of adventures. So, to celebrate on the blog, I thought I'd do something a little different this year: share a "birthday bucket list," per se, with some of my favorite moments from 22 years of lovin' and livin'.

Whether you're over 22, about to have your 22cd birthday or just want some fun ways to have a more epic life, here are 22 things you should do before you turn 22!

1. Spend at least one weekend without Internet access.

As a blogger, it can be especially challenging to unplug. Once you do it, though, you'll be amazed at how refreshed you feel...and how much more motivated you are to type up another post!

2. Have one dish that you can make without even looking at the recipe.

For me, this dish is definitely my homemade gluten free and vegan granola! I make a big batch every week, and I usually just throw whatever goodies I have on hand into the mix. It always comes out equally delicious!

3. Figure out how to read for fun on the regular.

I get it. When I was in undergrad, I rarely ever read books for fun. As a writing major, I already felt like I was reading and writing a ton! Now, as a grad student getting an MFA in Creative Nonfiction, I still feel like words rule my day...recently, though, I've become addicted to audiobooks. Now, I can enjoy my psychological thrillers without having to have time to sit still and actually read. The moral of the story? Keep experimenting with book genres and formats until you find the right mix that works for you!

4. Make a big mistake...and move past it.

So, maybe making a big mistake shouldn't be an actual goal of yours. But, in your early 20s (heck - any age, really), making mistakes is guaranteed to happen. So accept the situation, forgive yourself and learn how to move on. This is one skill you'll use time and time again.

5. Take a long walk with a good friend.

If you're struggling to balance all the demands of a well-rounded life, try combining your social life and your workout schedule. You'll be surprised how refreshing a good walk with a good friend can be - physically and emotionally.

6. Say "yes" to a work opportunity that scares the heck out of you.

Remember those pre teen growing pains? The sad part is that you don't really grow out of them. When I worked my first full-time job, I was given the chance to travel to Los Angeles and teach a class to the other Entity interns. It was a long, stressful and chaotic day...but it also showed me that I could roll with the punches a lot better than I thought!

7. Do something that makes you feel like a kid again.

Go to Disneyland. Dress up in the most ridiculous Halloween costumes you can think of and go Trick-or-Treating. Ride a seesaw while rocking a homecoming gown (been there, happily done that). The options are endless.

8. Go on at least one memorable girl's night.

My 21st birthday will always be particularly special thanks to the celebratory girl's night out my roomies and I enjoyed a month later. True Foods Kitchen + my first taste of alcohol (which is not really my thing, it turns out) + a random late-night visit to CVS. Lots of good food and even more good laughs!

9. Call a loved one who you don't talk to enough.

I'm definitely guilty of not talking to my extended family as much as I probably should...but those fifteen minutes spent catching up with grandma are always so worth it.

10. Take a short trip to Vegas!

Cliche? Yes. Still worth doing? Also yes.

11. Try a new workout with no expectations of how well you'll do it or how much you'll enjoy it.

No, I'm not saying you should sign up for a marathon and YOLO it, even if you've only run a 5K. However, there's something super rewarding about experimenting with a new workout routine without any preset beliefs at how "awesome" you'll be at it. Case in point: trying rock climbing with my dad turned out to be one of the major highlights of my summer. You'll never know what you're missing out on until you try!

12. Eat a huge, delicious, arguably unhealthy meal - and have zero guilt whatsoever.

I like eating healthy. I like how good healthy eating can make me feel. But, sometimes, a girl just needs a big, juicy burger (or whatever other comfort food is calling your name). Eat it, enjoy it and keep kicking life's booty!

13. Purchase at least one "power" outfit. 

Whether it's a tailored suit, a sweet pair of tight jeans or just your favorite comfy sweater, find an outfit that makes you feel like superwoman. Consider the day majorly slayed!

14. Watch the sunset...and I mean, really watch it.

You could say that going to college at PLNU desensitized me to sunsets. When you're used to seeing glorious colors of pink and blue and gold paint the sky every night, it can be easy to take that beauty for granted. But those nights that I sat out on the cliffs with friends, doing nothing but talking and watching the sun sink into the ocean, are some of my fondest memories.

15. Go to a social event that scares you and promise to stay at least 20 minutes.

I'm not a natural extrovert. When I'm with people I know well, I'm goofy, sassy and a little bit smart-assy (as my best friend puts it). Meeting new people, though, is challenging. So, I try to tell myself that if I go to an event and am just not feeling it, I can leave after 20 minutes. A lot of the time, though, I end up enjoying myself so much, I stay for a few hours.

16. Don't wear any makeup for at least a week.

From the time I graduated college in December of 2016 to when I started grad school on July 31, 2017, I wore makeup for two days during my college graduation in January. Sure, my self esteem gets a little boost when I cover spots or tired eyes with a swipe of foundation. But learning to accept - if not love - my own skin is even more rewarding.

17. Take yourself out on a date.

Who says you need to have a significant other to go on a date? Treat yourself to an epic me-date by going to your favorite restaurant, enjoying a long walk on a gorgeous day or even just spending the whole day relaxing with Netflix!

18. Find a way to volunteer that you actually enjoy.

It's easy to say that you don't have time to volunteer. My last semester of college, though, I spent a few Saturdays a month visiting a local assisted living home. While every visit wasn't great, there were a few conversations that still stick out in my mind. I'm going to try volunteering at an assisted living home in Mankato, this time with a writing workshop. I start two days after this post goes live, so we'll see what happens!

Like this post? Then tweet me some love by clicking here: "This #celiac is celebrating her #glutenfree b-day by sharing 22 things you should do before age 22! @collegeceliackc http://bit.ly/2eMEBsn"

19. Go on an epic road trip. 

If you've never traveled across the United States (or even just visited a few new states) in a car stuffed with a few of your favorite people, fix that error ASAP! Road trips can definitely be challenging and it's easy to get a little stir-crazy. But is there really a more "classically American" way to see the U.S. than through a car window?

20. Pay a little extra to buy that exotic food you've always wanted to try.

I'll admit it - dragonfruit actually isn't that flavorful. However, you do also eat with your eyes...and it's one cool looking fruit.

21. Stay up way too late doing, well, nothing!

Some of the other college memories that stick out the most in my mind? The nights where I went to bed waaaaay too late because I spent too much time talking about random things with my friends. The sleep deprivation was 100% worth it!

22. Dare to say "yes" to opportunities that scare you - even if you never imagined ending up where they lead.

Since I grew up as a marine brat, I'm used to not knowing where I'd be living a few years in the future. Yet, I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented and wondering, "How the heck did I end up living in Mankato, Minnesota?!?" And - to be brutally honest - the first month of living on my own in an entirely new state hasn't been easy.

But as I celebrate another year of adventures, surprises and delicious food, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the chance to grow, not only as a writer and teacher, but also as a person. I'm proud of the walls I've already run into and scaled. Even more importantly, I'm excited to see what 22 years old has in store for me. Let the next chapter of Casey's adventure begin! via Blogger http://ift.tt/2xcAqB9