#i’ll use my delusions to make it happen

[hoss-bonaventure]

i think it’s so ridiculous how they basically coded trevor and mike’s relationship to be like they’re scorned lovers of sorts and have harvey act like capulet-ian about their relationship ONLY to have him end up with jenny like wtf is that about???

[kavehater]

Well now I just feel used ? 🧍‍♀️

[gor3sigil]

I’m Trans and Insane and I’m doing fine.

[TW Psychosis, transphobia, psychophobia, medication, psych ward]

“Are you sure ?” she asked.

I remember looking back at her in disbelief, because that was certainly a question I never asked her when she came out.

“Why do you ask ?” I say.

“Dude, I’ve seen you go into depersonalization so hard you even thought you were a human soul in a robot vessel and now, you want me to trust you when you say that you, too, are trans ?”

That’s the memory that comes back to me as I fold and put in my bag my psychiatrist’s note attesting that I suffer from gender dysphoria, NOT LINKED to any psychotic symptoms. Here it goes in my folder with my prescription note, an increase - again - of my anti depressants and Xan, and my endocrinologist’s HRT prescription, increased too - finally.

I go to two separate pharmacies to pick up each prescription for two reasons:

There is only one in this godforsaken town that always had testosterone in stock.

I can’t explain to you with words the look you can get when you give back to back, to someone who, despite not being a doctor, works in healthcare, a note for trans HRT and then a note for psychiatric meds.

And I’m lucky, because I’m not taking antipsychotics anymore. Contrarily to what you could think, it doesn’t magically makes the voices and the shadowy people disappear, but it can make a mess of your head pretty bad and my doctor and I both agreed that I didn’t need more damage up here than what I already had. And no, it doesn’t make your delusions vanish magically too: in fact, I was still pretty certain that I was talking to my soul family out here in Argentine telepathically about my mission on Earth, the meds just made it more difficult to understand their voices, but the belief was still solid.

Anyways, I’m back home with the Hoy Grail I fought tooth and nails to get: a letter from the Sacred Council of Mental Sanity also known as Psychiatry that I was, indeed, a bit delulu, but also trans, and that both things didn’t play into each other. My transness wasn’t a delusion, my delusions didn’t have anything to do with being trans.

Or did it ?

Chicken or egg, you know the drill. Did I have my selves fractured before and one of the piece that shattered my brain happened to make me trans or was I just trans with a shitload of traumas in the back that made me insane ?

But don’t worry, at least, trans people when we’re together, we have each other’s back ! Right ?

“Transidentity ISN’T a mental illness !! We don’t DESERVE to be FORCIBLY LOCKED UP and MEDICATED and MADE TO CONFORM FOR OTHER’S SENSE OF SECURITY !!”

Neither do I, RIGHT ?

Oh

Or do I ?

Remember what she said, my girlfriend, right at the beginning ?

How I can’t be trusted about myself when sometimes I don’t even have a sense of self anymore or I have too much selves who fight against each other ?

And what do we say to that ?

Get treatment. Get in-patient. Take medication. And for the love of God, shut the fuck up about it, you’re giving us a bad name.

Because being trans and crazy can’t exist. It’s absurd. You have to fix one of these two things. Choose which jacket I’ll wear, and they call it a straitjacket for a reason it seems, so am I queer or am I insane ?

All I know today is there isn’t a universe in which I’m a trans without any mental illnesses, or mentally ill without being trans. And yet, I can’t tell you how many time I got asked “do you think you’d be trans if you never got through [x trauma] ?”. I. Don’t. Know. I’ll never know. And I deserve just as much agency as you get despite being mentally ill. If you don’t believe in that, don’t come yapping about “liberation for all of us”, but “if one of us is crazy they’ll all think I am too and that can’t happen”.

No LGBTQIAA+ person deserves to be told they need to be put away, to be cured, to be allowed out in the open only if they’re deemed “acceptable” by society’s standards. And no mentally ill people deserve to either.

No trans person should be going through years of counseling to have the access to HRT.

And I shouldn’t have had to threaten my own mother’s life to avoid being locked in an adult psych ward at 14.

If you ever think, for one second, that these two things have nothing to do with one another, you are far removed from history.

To hear queer people say “yeah but some mentally ill people are dangerous !” feels like you don’t even know where you come from.

And if I want to say, that me being trans is linked to me being mentally ill, or at least, that both are connected in a way, all hell breaks fucking loose.

So I’ll explain very carefully.

See, when I was young, my mind got shattered into a thousand of pieces I had to try to glue back on. All these pieces of myself broke further more down the line because I couldn’t catch a fucking break. And now, it happens that the final puzzle does not have the same face it had before. It happens that its shape changed over time, for reasons over the control of all of us who tried to build ourselves back. Now there’s a bigger picture, less pieces, a few other shadows, and me. Built from the shatters. With my own needs and afflictions.

And whoever you are, whatever your agenda might be, I will not let anyone take any agency away from me under the false pretext that I can’t know anything for myself. They say that about children, they say that about minorities, about physically disabled people, about the people they want OUT. And my trans siblings, you know that.

I came out for the first time 7 years ago, to my then girlfriend, who was the one asking the question that is the first sentence of this text. I came out a second time 3 years ago. Been on HRT, had top surgery, had psychotic breaks, got my meds changed, switch therapist.

Because I am trans and crazy. And yet, all these choices I made, I made myself. It didn’t have to be that hard to get the basic care I needed. It didn’t need to be. But it WAS. And I’m part of the lucky crowd of people who had access to out-patient treatment, who never have been locked up in ward, who managed to stay alive through meds withdrawals without medical assistance when I had no therapist.

Be very careful of when you start to put conditions on the rights you think you deserve. Be very, very careful about your definition of sanity and of how it warps the way you see people. When you start to say “I have access to that, but there’s people like X or Y who shouldn’t BECAUSE”, pause and ask yourself what led you to think this way. More often than not, you’ll find yourself playing the same mind games as the ones you swore to fight against, and when it gives them the upper hand, they won’t hesitate to come for you after that.

[shooting-love-arrows]

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎'𝐬! 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃 reacts to...cheater! reader

Request made by Anon:

Hi! I just read your post about yan 1950 house husband, it's amazing. Can you write his reaction if reader cheated on him? If you don't feel comfortable with this ask, feel free to ignore this.  Remember to take care of yourself and have a nice day.

Hello to you too, dear Anon,

First of all, I must apologize but your request suddenly disappeared from my inbox! Thankfully, I have the content of your request saved in my google docs so I pasted it above. 

Putting that aside, although this topic is sensitive to some, I am fine with writing about that. 

I appreciate your words. It's very nice of you to think about little ol' me. I wish you a nice day too (even if it's not a daytime)!

Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon!

PAIRING: 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 x [CHEATER!] reader (gender not specified/mentioned/implied), your lovers genger isn't specified/mentioned/implied either. Don't be swayed by the curses used to describe them; Tw. cheating/indifelity from the reader, cursing, description of a m*urder, delusion (delulu is the solulu), emotional manipulation, gaslightning; A/N: As a person, I do not support this kind of behavior. This is only a piece of fiction, serving for entertaining purposes only.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Denial. Denial. Denial. At first 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 doesn’t believe it. No, he refuses to do so. You’re the most faithful and perfect partner known to the human kind. Right then, he's desperately holding on to that image. But unfortunately, evidence says otherwise. A simple photo, sent to him by your lover, secretly taken by some photographer is clearly showing you and (that whore) your lover, in some hotel room, in an intimate position. It is clear that day that you have an affair. 

“But what if my darling was forced to do this?”

That question sends him into a spiral of delusion, rage and sorrow. As a defence mechanism, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 made up a story where suddenly you were a victim in this whole situation. It was definitely your lover who has forced themselves on you. Probably blackmailed or worse, drugged you to have a taste of sweet love and burning passion you share while making love with him. 

“My poor darling…” 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 wailed, clenching his chest like someone was physically ripping away his still beating heart from it. Fat tears ran down his rosy cheeks, smudging his mascara and turning him into a crying mess. “I’ll avenge you, my darling. I won’t forgive what was done to you!”

He doesn’t even blink when he sends your lover into the pits of hell. There’s no hesitation when 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 plans this hideous crime, making sure every detail is taken care of. And so, it begins small, like creating false and disgusting rumors about your lover. Day by day, he patiently destroys your lover's life. Until the day when 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 poisons them through his signature pie and then proceeds to repeatedly stab your lover until no one is able to recognize them in the first place. 

"YOU WENCH!" 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 roared at the person who happened to be your lover. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!" With every word he dove the sharp, kitchen knife deeper and harder into his victim's chest. "DIE!!" 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 yelled for the final time and knife one last time, straight in this whore heart. He was left alone in the empty and messy kitchen, covered in blood, panting and trying to catch his breath. 

In the end, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 begins to gaslight you. Once again, with the patience of a saint, he began to manipulate you to believe that it was in fact your lover who was using you all this time. You were forced into this vile affair and you are a victim. 

“My innocent darling, you mustn't think about it (them) anymore. I will make everything perfect once again.”

But isn’t it weird how he started wearing clothes that are scarily similar to those worn by your lover? Sniff…sniff…and those perfumes…

All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Even if the sky was falling

Part I

a/n see I’m a nice person, I listen… sometimes.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It felt as if the sun was snuffed out as Azriel unleashed all of his shadows. Clawing and ripping at everything they found in their way, they drank in all drops of light. They were weeping alongside their master. The screaming returned as everyone around tried to escape the wrath of a man who no longer had anything to lose. A man who had nothing else to fight for. A man who was finally in so much pain he no longer could handle it.

“Azriel”, a voice called him but Azriel didn’t move. How could he move when his arms were wrapped around your limp body? “Brother”, that’s when he felt Rhys’s arms reaching from behind him as the high lord wrapped the two of you in the darkness of his own. “There’s still a heartbeat”, Rhys muttered, “She’s alive but you need to let a healer close, Azriel, do you hear me?”, his voice seemed foreign and far away, yet Azriel still pulled back slightly so he could look at your face. “Don’t take her away”, a sob slipped past his lips and even Rhys had to tilt his head up so the tears would not flow down his face. Because he had his suspicions. You do when your brother who had been cold as stone starts walking around with a hint of a smile. “Let Madja and her healers take her”, Rhys urged him, pulling at his arms that were wrapped around you. “Rhys”, Azriel grunted trying to fight back but Rhys didn’t let go, pulling his arms behind him, right as Madja slipped through the shell of darkness, her arms replacing Azriel’s. “No”, Azriel trashed against Rhys, “I’ll kill you all, you hear me?”, he howled, watching as Cassian picked you up following the orders Madja was giving him. “Let me to her”, Azriel growled his shadows ripping at the walls Rhys had built around them. “You’re not thinking brother, we are not the enemies here”, trying to send calmness down the mind threads Rhys was trying to latch on to. “It’s because of your fucking kid this happened. You and your plans, you would sell us all if it meant you were the one happy”, deep down Rhys knees that Azriel didn’t mean it. Deep down Azriel knew better but not now. Not when his palms were soaked in your blood. Not when there was a wound the shape of you in his chest, eating at him. “I’m so sorry, Az, you got to know that I’m sorry”, Rhys muttered, his palm coming to brush over Azriel’s eyes and in a blink of an eye everything went dark.

Azriel had no recollection whatsoever of what had happened when he woke up. To his left, he saw Feyre, curled up in an armchair. He knew that Rhys had been in his head. He always felt the aftermath of it. The ache and that dirty feeling as if someone had rummaged through parts of you they had no right to see. Yet the strongest feeling was the depths of loneliness. As if longing for a limb you never had in the first place yet you felt it as if it was yours. He stood slowly, not feeling like interacting with anyone so in need of keeping Feyre sleeping.

But bumped into Madja almost as soon as he slipped out into the corridor. “Oh, Az, you should still be in bed”, the elderly lady muttered. Azriel didn’t meet her eyes, couldn’t. “Where did you bury her?”, his voice didn’t even sound like his own as he spoke. “Who, my dear?”, Madja asked, clasping his hand. “My Y/n”, he breathed and the name alone was enough to make his eyes sting. “Come”, was all Madja said as she squeezed his palm. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to see you yet. He just wanted to know where. Seeing you would make it real and for now, he wanted to live in a sense of delusion. Azriel tried to push the smell of medical herbs out. The smell of incense burning. His body walked but his soul was no doubt knees deep on the grass by the school still.

“I’ll get you something to sit on”, Madja muttered, before reaching for the door. Azriel knew there was no going back from this after he stepped in. But the door opened. Madja ushered him inside and the moment his eyes got used to the dim light he saw. And his knees buckled once more. “No”, he breathed out. Rhys halted, putting the spoon down. “Azriel”, it was so weak, barely a kiss of the wind but there and it was yours. “Get out of my head Rhys”, Azriel growled, shaking his head. “This is real-world brother”, Rhys reassured him, his hand moving to squeeze yours. But your tired eyes were on Azriel. And that was enough to make him crumble.

“Baby”, you whined, pushing to sit up only to be met by Madja’s firm palm, “You will rip the stitches, stay how you are”, she breathed. Yet your hand still pushed back, reaching for Azriel who was on the floor, head in hands as he cried. “Please, I… Come closer”, you begged, needing to feel him. “You were dead in my head, you were… I lost you”, he shook his head.

“Come closer, please”, you choked out, fingers grasping at thin air, “Azriel, please”. It was unbearable to hear his cries. To feel his pain. It was as if someone sent crushed glass down your bloodstream and told you it was fine. Each blood cell called for him. Ached for him. You knew he wouldn’t heal your scars. He wouldn’t make the pain go away. But you were sure that feeling him, sensing him would bring you peace like no other.

Azriel practically crawled towards the bed. Mindful of the stuff around the push tables, his hands first grasped your legs before he pulled himself closer. Hands moving to cup your cheek as you leaned into him. “Y/n”, he muttered, waiting for you to fade into nothing. But no matter how many times he blinked you didn’t go away. “I’m here, it’s me”, you whispered, letting your palm brush over his, “And I love you”. Your words made Azriel halt before a little smile spread onto his lips.

“I was ready to end the whole world for you”, he mused, “I wasn’t gonna stop till…”, “But you don’t have to and you will never have to”, you cut in, reaching out to pull his face closer, “Cause the way you pulled me out of my darkness, I’ll pull you out of yours”. Azriel let his eyes soak you up, the slight rosy tint that had crept back onto your cheeks. “Lay with me”, you muttered, trying to tilt to the side only to hiss in pain, Azriel’s shadows instantly swirling around you in worry. “I don’t think it’s a good…”, he had started. “Do as the girl wants”, Madja huffed, “Do it while I’m here so I can make sure it’s all decent”. Rhys snorted from the corner making Azriel shoot him a look.

Madja ushered Rhys over as they carefully lifted you up, letting Azriel settle onto the bed, before they carefully laid you into his arms. You both let out a sigh of relief in unison. As two puzzle pieces finally clicking together. “Rest”, Azriel muttered, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. You reached for his hand, draping it over yourself, right above the tender skin of your abdomen. “Can you sing to me?”, you tilted your head up. “All night long, my love”, Azriel mused, kissing the top of your head.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[boydepartment]

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍩₊˚⊹♡ so what do you recommend? nishimura riki x gn! reader

250ish words- riki being a loser- engene reader working at a donut shop - masterlist

you stood at the counter waiting for your name to either be called to the back or for someone to come in. the chain you work at was supposed to be closed today but your manager asked if you could come in for this specific store as you guys decided to be open

to be honest you didn’t mind, you liked your job and it’d keep you distracted from the fact you couldn’t make it to a concert you desperately wanted to go to. you had the money to attend just not the means to get there, who seriously has a concert mid week? and in a place where they already go to every tour? it wasn’t that far but just the hassle of getting there and work. ugh it was just a mess. you really wanted to go too… you loved k-pop and concerts. especially hybe groups and especially enhypen.

unfortunately the cards just aren’t in your favor this leg of the tour.

you sighed as you watched out the window as people walked by the store, wondering who was going to walk in and ask for a donut. you looked down for a split second picking at the bandaids that covered your fingers from earlier in the day.

when the little ding came up you perked up. smiling at the two boys who walked in.

“hi welcome in! how can i help you?” you leaned against the donut case in front of you. the two boys looked at you and then at eachother. you took a quick note of the apparel

one was shorter than the other, denim vest, chain, a backwards hat that looked oddly familiar. when you took note of the taller one your heart stopped for a moment.

there was no way this was happening to you at work…

the taller one wore the absolute ugliest jacket and jean combo you have ever seen in your life, and he wore the ugliest baseball cap to accompany it. the unfortunate part was, you’d recognize that ugly outfit combo anywhere.

“um hi sorry about that- can i get-“

AUSTRALIAN 🫵

okay y/n play it cool.

the taller one who you assumed you knew to be none other than nishimura riki, hit the shorter one and stood closer to you.

“i’m sorry he’s dumb-“ the taller one spoke, “we have never been here before actually-“

“I LITERALLY HAV-“

the taller one waved him off and kept his attention on you. the closer he got to the case display, the more you could see the little mole under his eye.

“ignore him.” he said quickly, you couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you. he leaned against the counter next to the case display and looked at you.

“so what do you recommend..?”

was he trying to hit on you?

you put your hand under your chin and looked at him, throughly enjoying this and thanking the universe if this was real and not just delusion, “definitely anything with crème but you cannot go wrong with a strawberry donut.” you smiled at him. you heard riki giggle under his mask and his friend(who you guessed was jake) groaned, probably embarrassed.

“i love strawberries actually. i’ll get both though.” he said and you started to bag them up, you looked up at his friend.

“anything for you?”

jake walked closer to the counter and apologized quietly, “can we just get two dozen of the signature donuts too..?”

you nodded and grabbed the ready to go boxes behind you.

“actually can i pick the-“ riki spoke big jake interrupted him.

“MAN STOP MAKING THE WORKERS JOB HARDER JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK THEYRE CUTE!” he shoved him and got shoved back. you started to giggle again and gave them their total.

jake paying and trying to apologize for his friend’s behavior.

they quickly grabbed their donuts and headed out, riki wishing you a good day before running into the door and getting laughed at by jake.

you felt yourself look down smiling.

part of you felt like you were being delusional until you saw a little piece of paper near your sticky notes that you used to remember restock…

‘be back tomorrow by MYSELF- hope ur working-

my name is riki :)’

your jaw dropped slightly before you pocketed the note and was called back by your manager to help in the back. you quickly scurried to the back of the house and tried to hide your smile.

[star-girl69]

Love Song

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!

Love song - Lana Del Rey

warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

i’m sure we all agree on this

but clarisse is very protective of you

even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you

i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED

she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with

like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED

she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault

she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions

major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age

the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down

obviously that did not work

but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings

when it comes to you tho she’s an open book

she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE

i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours

your relationship is partly very public

she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you

she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER

so naturally she gets very jealous

even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE

there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you

it went like this

boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine

y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..

clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—

then she started attacking him

lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)

now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity

you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”

“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”

b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently

she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl

most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy

but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO

she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist

also one more note about your relationship publically

everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes

i hate everyone but you trope save me

save me i hate everyone but you trope

THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY

clarisse: pushes percy over

you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee

clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf

you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly

clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily

like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??

so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy

privately she lets herself be a little more chill

this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah

idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands

SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS

would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY

but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands

like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you

cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle

you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest

this is what happens whenever you feel scared

like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day

TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight

wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you

also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer

she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)

or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers

she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!

also she lays on top of you if you get hurt

like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand

you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”

“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”

third option

you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you

she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart

like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel

oh lord take me now

also she loves you the way hozier loves

“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”

“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”

like she BREATHES for you

if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life

totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date

devotion is the only word that comes close

anyways

ok nicknames she calls you:

baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)

(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)

dates she takes you on:

forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you

this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE

so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together

she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water

you like have a cold

she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means

you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!

you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line

you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”

“okay ☹️☹️”

“why are you touching my feet with your feet”

she places you above everyone else

like yeah other people are ok…….

but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍

this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you

LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)

“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)

THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”

clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt

in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”

you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness

but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story

LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”

NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭

clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions

like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused

but still

she never lets anyone see her as WEAK

so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense

after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”

she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN

then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword

you’re like 😔😔💔

you’re the only one she will let clean her up

unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers

if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”

anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill

thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one

anyways bye bye 😘

—

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme

[worldlxvlys]

one choice

part 6 of the CRUSH series

bsf! matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of sex, cursing

a/n -> hope u like <33

read the previous part for context !!

MATT’S POV

when my eyes fluttered open, i was immediately met with a pillow that wasn’t mine. i knew this pillow though, and those sheets.

i had forgotten where i was momentarily, until i looked over and saw her. her eyes were closed, lips parted slightly while she slept peacefully.

she looked angelic, the soft rays of the sun seeming to make her glow. she moved around in her sleep last night, leaving her barely covered by her blanket.

i couldn’t help but let my eyes wander her body, taking in every feature. her smooth skin was littered with dark marks all over, and the blanket left little to the imagination. before i knew it, i was hard again.

it took everything in me to fight the urge i had to take care of it right there next to her. what would she think if she woke up to me jerking myself off to her sleeping form?

oh my god, what was gonna happen when she woke up? she would want to talk about what this meant for us, but i couldn’t handle that.

what if this was a one time thing? what if she wanted nothing to do with me after this ? did i fuck up our friendship? i had to get out of there.

i got up quickly and quietly, careful not to make any noise while i got dressed. when i was done, i pulled her blanket over her so she was fully covered. i looked around for a pen and paper to leave her a note, as i didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

ok, she has nothing to write a note with. i’ll just leave her a text.

well i could have done that, if i had realized i completely forgot my phone in her room before i left. i didn’t make this realization, however, until i had gotten back home.

so not only did she think i was the type of guy to fuck and dip, but i also couldn’t avoid the conversation that i was running from in the first place.

it’s not that i never wanted to talk about it, i just wasn’t ready for our friendship to change yet.

was running away the best way to handle the situation? definitely not, but i only had so much time to decide what to do before she woke up.

so basically, my overthinking ended up screwing me over. doesn’t it always ?

what was wrong with me? this was the girl who made me feel safe and loved, and now i couldn’t even talk to her. how did i manage to fuck up this badly?

one choice. one choice stemming from my fantasy-filled thoughts is all it took. and the decision i made last night led to more poorly made choices. choices that i wouldn’t have made had my brain not been corrupted by her.

her face, her smell, those perfect little moans that fell off her lips, she had a way of making me ignore every logical thought that my brain produced. i was so desperate to finally have her in the way i’d only dreamed about for years.

now if i didn’t fix this, i wouldn’t have her in any way.

———

READER’S POV

when i woke up, matt was gone. the spot where he had slept next to me was cold, meaning he hadn’t been there for a while.

for a second, i questioned whether last night was even real. had i really fallen so deep into my delusions that i started to believe them? i found the thought to be worrisome, but i tried not to dwell on it as i got up and made my way to the bathroom.

when i caught a glimpse of the hickeys decorating my skin i felt relief wash over me. i wasn’t going crazy. just as quickly as it came, the relief was replaced with a new feeling; embarrassment.

i seriously let myself think that he would want something more. hell, he marked me like he did. but he didn’t treat me like i was his best friend, he treated me like i was a one night stand.

maybe he had a valid reason for leaving. i tried to talk myself out of the rabbit hole of assumptions i was about to go down, and picked up my phone.

once a few hours had passed without him returning my texts or calls, i knew. he was done with me, he had to be. why else would he just leave without warning and ghost me?

i should’ve know this was going to happen, people always leave me in the end. it just never occurred to me that matt could be just like everyone else.

——

MATT’S POV

when i got to her house, i let myself in using the key she had given me. “y/n?” i called her name, not receiving an answer.

i pulled out the ice cream i had bought her on the way to her place, putting it in the freezer for her.

when i got to her room, she happened to be fresh out of the shower. she wore nothing but a towel, her eyes widening when she saw me.

“matt?” she asked before rushing over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. the water droplets that coated her skin soaked into my t-shirt, but all i could focus on was the fact that she was in my arms.

i inhaled the scent of her fruity body wash, eyes falling shut as i rubbed her back soothingly.

she then pulled away, smacking me upside the head with her heavy hand. “don’t do that again matt, i thought i scared you off. i thought you hated me- i thought i lost my best friend”

i cupped her cheek gently, “i could never hate you, and i’m not going anywhere. i was just overwhelmed, but i shouldn’t have just left life that. i’m sorry, i was gonna leave a note, but then i couldn’t find anything to write with. and i was gonna text you but i left my phone here and-”

“matt, it’s ok. i’m just glad that you’re here now” she whispered. “but there’s nothing to be scared of, i mean- last night was just the heat of the moment, right? i mean, it had to be, why else would you leave like that” she whispered the last part to herself.

shit. this was the problem, i didn’t know what the night before was.

i didn’t know what i wanted, and i didn’t want to hurt her in the process of figuring it out. what i did know, was i wasn’t going to lose her because i got greedy. so, i decided i would figure it out later, but for now: “yeah, that’s all it was”

“so, we’re good?” she asked. “we’re good” i confirmed.

“good. then i’m gonna get dressed and then we can watch something?” she posed the last part of the sentence as a question.

“yeah, and i brought you ice cream” i told her, watching her face light up at the news. “wow, you thought you really messed up, huh?” she asked as she grabbed her clothes to change into.

“i did really mess up, but i won’t do anything like that again” i told her. she just smiled at that letting out a quick, “i know” before moving to go back into her bathroom.

“wait, you’re seriously going into another room to get changed? did you forget how we spent last night together?” i joked. admittedly, it was probably a little too soon to crack jokes like that.

“last night never happened” she spoke before closing the door.

shit, why did that sting a little?

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[wasitforrevenge]

new romantics pt 2

pairing: MODERN AU!college azriel x female reader

warnings/content: suggestive language, yearning!!! alcohol and drugs mentioned, two love sick idiots, some parts are flashbacks, this is not edited…ill do it later sorry, photos from pinterest

word count: 4.5k

summary: the start of long weekend vacation starts, azriel surprises you and both of you struggle with holding your feelings inside.

authors note: i feel like i use too many of the same words im trying here please! anyways hi part 2 of my azriel fic! i think im gonna write 4 chapters, i’ve already started on part 3 and can’t wait to post! hopefully this weekend, azriel smut coming soon!!!… i am so excited i can’t stop blushing as i write it so! enjoy this part and hopefully i’ll have the next one out soon! thank you for all the likes and comments! i appreciate all the feedback thank you all!

the next friday afternoon, you’re sitting in the last row of the room, fake listening to your english lecture droning out your professors voice with thoughts of azriel. as always. you truly wonder how you manage to keep passing.

this is your last class before a four day weekend, your whole day has just dragged on and frankly, you’re exhausted and just want to go home and do nothing all weekend.

your head has running with thoughts of last weekend all week. its been driving you mad. you’ve never been one at being able to talk about your feelings, like at all. growing up an only child left and never having any more than just a couple friends you knew growing up left you lonely.

but once you became friends with azriel, you just felt like you belonged somewhere. the days you just spend laying around and talking about anything and everything. whether its what some dumbs said in class, the best dad joke you can find to the hardcore shit from your childhoods.

the only thing you could never talk to him about was… him. all you wanted to do was confess to these feelings but yet you haven’t. how can you just admit to your best friend that you’re in love with him.

that’s also something you came to the conclusion to over this week. that you’re in love with him. you thought azriel was driving you mad before you realized this but afterwards… it was so much worse!

when you and nesta finally connected after the party, she for sure entertained your delusions. you told her about everything that happened, leaving out the way he talked to you and held you. that was something you wanted to keep for yourself.

you’re deep in your mind over him, yet again, when you hear a psst from behind you.

and there he was.

azriel peeking his head through the slightly propped door, he grinned when you looked back towards the door to see what was behind you. your eyes grew wide… he’s supposed to be in class right now but you couldn’t even think about that as he stuck his hand and motioned for you to come, there you were making sure your professor was turned to the chalkboard before grabbing your bag and going with him.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

when you got outside your classroom, azriel grabbed your hand and brought you directly to the car. he opened your door and let you in before sitting in himself. your eyes focus on the sight of his scarred hums gripping the steering wheel and all you can think about is that video of the girl saying “you wish that was you huh you wish that was you!”

he’s always done that and it sends butterflies through you every time. once he got in and started driving… away from the direction of your apartment. when you turning to look out the back window, you notice a couple bags in the back seat.

“oh my god az pleasseee tell me where you’re taking me” you groaned pretending to be annoyed at the man in the drivers seat.

he looked over at you again and the sparkle in his eyes just sends you back to when he was staring down at you laying on his chest, cuddled up against him.

he laughed and said, “sorry can’t tell you it’s a surprise.”

you groaned again, even louder this time. “this better be good i missed the rest of the class for this.” you would miss every lecture for this man and he wouldn’t even have to ask.

“oh don’t worry princess, it’s insanely better than whatever that professer was saying… not that you were paying attention to anyway.”

you turned to look at him, mouth open wide and mumbled a shut up. he laughed so hard and then of course you had to laugh, but your eyes couldn’t ignore the way his chest lifted and the muscles in his arms contracted. what you would do to feel him hold you again.

the drive continued with you guys laughing and singing to the playlists on your phone. another thing you guys love to do is to blurt out states on license plates when you see a new one, something that azriel, of course, excels at and seeing them first every time.

about 3 hours later, you pull into a long driveway in the middle of the woods. you didn’t mind the long drive, in fact you and azriel mainly take backroads every time you guys go out just to take in the scenery. the trees and mountains on this drive particularly blew your fucking mind.

“is this where we going?” you ask looking out the window like a little kid, fingers holding on the door. azriel couldn’t help but look over at you as you spoke, his heart swelled at the sight of you.

the way your hair moved from the window open, how your skin gleamed in the sun shining through the windows of his old mustang and the look of utter excitement that coated your face the whole drive.

he doesn’t answer and just keeps driving up the dirt road before your eyes land on a beautiful, old wooden house next to a huge lake. you’re in awe of the masterpiece before you as you notice two cars already in the driveway. you know right away by rhysands honda civic and nesta’s toyota rav4, that everyone is here.

you can’t help but internally scream right now. you can’t believe that azriel has brought you here, and kept it a secret for you don’t even know how long. you look at him, eyes wide and he can’t help the smile that breaks out on his face when you look him.

you smile back at him, even bigger than the one he gave you if possible before your eyes turn to the front door and you see nesta and cassian standing there waving at you to come inside.

you go to open your door but azriel is there doing it for you before you even notice he got out of the car. even though you loved sitting in his car engulfed in the smell of him, you couldn’t wait to get out and spend the weekend here.

you step out azriels car, breath taken away yet again at the view in front of you. nesta is throwing herself into your arms before you even realize, engulfing you in a huge hug.

as she pulls away, you see through the corner of your eye azriel and cassian getting your bags from the car. she grips your hand lightly in yours and starts pulling you towards the house as she asked you about your drive up.

walking inside the house, she let go out of hand and spun around in a circle yelling “TADA” as you both laugh. your eyes dart across the house to the two big L black couches, along with a couple comfy chairs, a fire place along a wall that had shelves covered in books and photos. floor to ceiling windows covered the outside of the house giving you an amazing view of the trees, mountains and lake surrounding the house.

to your left, you see a open wooden kitchen, cabinets littered the walls with a huge two door fridge with a huge kitchen island, covered in different bottles of alcohol. oh yes you guys will be partying it up over this long weekend.

you hear the steps of people behind you, hoping to see azriel again you couldn’t stop staring at him during the drive up. everyone he caught you staring he smiled at you and just kept on driving, like it was perfectly normal. you turn around to see rhys and feyre walking down the staircase next to the entrance way of the house along with azriel and cassian walking into the open front door.

your smile widened as you saw him and you felt nesta jab her elbow into your side and you gave her a glare before she smiled wide at you, before leaving to walk to the kitchen.

you laugh in your head and walk towards azriel to greet everyone, “hi friends!” you said as cassian pulled you into a bear hug. what you didn’t see was cassian give azriel a wink as he embraced you. he pulled away with a laugh before both feyre and rhysand brought you in for a hug.

as they let you go, nesta called everyone to come to the kitchen. they followed but you stayed there as you watched azriel move your bags off to the start of the stairs to take up to your rooms later so you guys can join your friends in the kitchen. he turned around he saw you there watching him. he swears his heart almost explodes out of his chest every time you look at him.

azriel was ready to tell you that he was in love with you. it’s a feeling he refused to admit for years up until a couple months ago. despite not admitting it, deep down he knew what it was, he never had anyone treat him like you did. the way you cared about him and just treated him normal after so many people in his life have just walked on eggshells around him.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

when he met you, he was attached to you from the start. he knew a lot about greek mythology, taking the class was just something fun for him and when you and him got partnered together, he knew it was the beginning to an end. the way his heart started beating faster when you came around, the way his hands got sweaty when you accidentally brushed hands or when your thigh rested against his while sitting next to each other in the library.

cassian and rhysand knew something was up the way azriel came into rhysand’s apartment. the faint blush still on his cheeks, and the smile that didn’t seem to disappear. this had been happening a lot over the past couple weeks when they saw him.

azriel walked in, backpack slung over his shoulder as thoughts of you looking beautiful, sitting across from him at the coffee shop you guys were studying at that night. he didn’t even glance towards the couch until he heard cassian call out to him, “what’s the smile for az?.”

azriel turned towards his brothers, seeing their own smiles painted on. azriel laughed as he walked over and tossed his bag into the chair beside him before taking the seat next to cass.

he swiped a hand over his face and sighed in exaggeration, “what smile?” when he looked towards them, the shit eating grins on their faces said it all. they knew about the unrequited crush he held onto for mor, they knew what his family did to him, all they hoped is that whoever was making azriel smile this much wouldn’t break his heart.

a few weeks later, azriel walked into his own apartment, with you in tow. after he came across you in the elevator, he realized it made spending time together a lot easier. after class one evening, he invited you over one night to join in on movie night with his friends.

he finally told his friends who you were a couple days ago. they couldn’t even remember a time they had seen him talk about something so passionately, rhysand and cassian don’t even think that he registered it. azriel was still insisting that you guys were just friends.

that night was spent watching the jurassic park series. you were so relived walking to his apartment, you were nervous to meet his friends but he assured you everything would be okay and there was nothing to worry about. you loved that about him, sometimes you didn’t even realize how much you stressed yourself out, but every time you spoke it, azriel was there assuring you everytime.

after three movies, four bags of popcorn and a ton of candy, you were starting to doze off. you were so comfortable on the couch surrounded by the way azriel’s apartment smelt.

azriel, who was sitting next to you, noticed that you were getting sleepy and leaned down to whisper in your ear, “hey princess, i’ll walk you down.” you nodded to him with a smile. he stood up and offered you his hand. you guys said your goodbyes and everyone pulled you in a hug. you loved his friends already, nesta especially.

he holds his your soft skin with his own flawed, he could never really get over the way you felt against him. during this point of him liking you, the touch was minimal but he ate it up every time. azriel opened the door and walked out behind you, his hand ever so lightly grazing over the small of your bag where your t-shirt had ridden up.

“but the scene of the t-rex oh my god az,” you laughed lightly as you were exiting the elevator on your floor. he shook his head at you, “no way the scene with the kids in the kitchen was the best in the first one!” he insisted throwing his arms up in exaggeration.

“okay az whatever you say.” you giggle as you approach your door, turning around to face azriel behind you and grab your keys out of your shorts pocket. you look up and meet his eyes as he towers over you. you stand in silence staring at each other before you tear your gaze away, you wonder how long you’d been staring at him like that. he gives you a smile as you look down nervously with your keys in your hand. you turned back to unlock your front door then moved back to face him to say goodnight.

“thank you for movie night az, we have to do it again.” he brings his hand to your cheek and moves a piece of hair that fell into your face from your messy hair clip, he tucks it behind your ear as you look up at him again. “of course, its rhys’s turn next but you can have the one after him.” he said with a laugh as he stepped closer to you. your feelings for azriel were getting worse. it was an innocent crush at first but now… he’s all you could think about. your heart was basically beating out of your chest, your chest almost brushing against yours, you could feel the warmth of his body spreading over yours.

he was pressing against you now as he leaned down, you watched him as his face made it to yours, you were so eager to kiss him but instead he brushes his lips against your ear to whisper, “goodnight sweetheart, ill see you tomorrow,” as he gripped the doorknob behind you and opened the door for you. he leans back and gives you a huge smile as you step back into your apartment, mostly in shock at the way his body felt against yours. you smile back at him before whispering back, “goodnight azriel.” and shutting your door.

azriel is still in front of your door, a few moments longer than he should been after you were in your apartment. he shakes his head with disappointment in himself as he finally walks away. he was so centimeters from your lips and just couldn’t do it. what if you weren’t into him? he didn’t want to press your boundaries, he needed to know this was reciprocated before he did anything.

as much as he wanted to go back there and knock on your door until you opened it, so he could pick you up in his arms, carry you to your bed and fuck you like it was the last night in the world, he just could not.

at least… not yet.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

you don’t even know what time is it now as you all sat outside on the patio behind the house. it overlooked the huge, dark lake with trees covering every inch that surrounded you, not another house in sight. it was incredibly peaceful as you sat on the swinging bench in the corner with azriel, your legs over his lap as you both held drinks in your hand. the sky lit up with stairs as you looked around at your friends talking amongst themselves. you guys spent the day playing drinking and card games. playing cards against humanity with the inner circle was truly a remarkable time. feyre and rhys made homemade pizzas for dinner and they were amazing. you guys laughed for hours and now out on the deck, everyone else sat in chairs around the fire pit as you guys passed a few joints around.

azriel was laughing at whatever cassian said along with rhys while feyre and mor chatted, she showed up halfway one of your card games. amren was nesta sat in the chair next to the bench you and azriel were sitting on as you both sipped on glasses of red wine, talking about the last smutty books you were reading.

as you spoke to her, you couldn’t help by getting distracted at azriel holding the bottom half of your leg with his hand as they rested of his lap while the other one left a glass of whatever they were drinking now. he was just barely moving it back and forth but god it sent chills through your body, it doesn’t help that nests speaking about whatever book she was reading lately as you focused back on what she was saying, trying to get the thought of him touching you farther up out of your mind.

“the slowburn was top tier,” nesta said to you giving you a wink as she sipped her wine, “but oh my god the way they fucked,” letting out a frustrated groan, she shook her head as you both laughed.

“yeah nes, just wait until the sequel, if you thought that was good… you’re in a for treat.” you wiggled your eyebrows at her and laughed. you hear azriel laugh next to you and turn your head towards him. drunk you wants to kick everyone to their rooms and take him, here and now… but alas you’re stuck just staring at the beautiful man in front of you. the way his muscles flex when he laughs, and the way his chest moves. his tattoos peek out of the collar of his shirt and all you wanna do is hold him in your arms.

an hour goes by hanging out by the fire before everyone else else heads to their rooms, leaving you and azriel swinging on the bench smoking another joint. he blows the smoke out in a laugh as you guys talked about the last episode of parks and rec you guys watched. you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the weekend with him. it just felt a little too natural.

“oh my god duke silver… i just cant,” you laughed as he handed you the joint. azriel laughed, “ron swanson is the best part.” your heart starts beating faster as his hand is now actively rubbing up and down. this bench was surprisingly comfortable but

“along with april,” azriel said and you couldn’t help but agree, they just really are. you hit the joint a few times and pass it back. “okay az, i’m tired now,” you look at him with a small smile on your face. “okay let’s go,” he said with no hesitation. you let out a little laugh and move your legs off his lap, instancing losing the warm of his legs and hands on you.

you guys head into the house and azriel grabbed your bags to carry them up to the 2nd floor of the house, you guys walk down a hallway to the end and he stops in front of the door on right. “here this one is mine and that one,” he said pointing to the one directly across from his, “is yours.” he smiled at you before you turn and open your door as he opened his.

you grabbed your suitcase and carried it into the room and shut the door. you move and find the light switch. locating it, you switch it up and look around the room in front of you. only to find mor asleep on the bed. you quietly groan, out of exhaustion, drinking all day on vacation really takes it out on you. you aren’t close enough with mor so you cant just slide in next to her, so now you’re stuck with your last option.

azriel.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

immediately after entering the room, azriel took a seat on the edge of the bed. his hands still warm from rubbing them on your legs as you sat next to him the whole time. he looked at them, the scars were hard to deal with but never once it did bother you. but they bothered him for some reason, old insecurities and harsh memories all wrapped in something he has to live with everyday.

when his hands are on you, it’s a different story. it’s something he never wants to stop doing. he’s mesmerized by you entirely. he’s in the midst of his thoughts about you when he hears a low knock on the room to his room. he stands up and opens it.

seeing you standing outside his door in the dimly lit hallway, suitcase next to you, hand up about to knock again. he sees you jump at the way he opened the door so fast, not expecting him to be there already.

“hey princess, did you get lost?” azriel said as he leaned on his shoulder against the doorway, a smirk across his tired face.

“mor is asleep in my bed…” you grumble, “can i sleep with you?” you ask him.

a millions are in his head at once. mainly the last time you guys had slept next to each other, the night that he beat the shit out of that guy for touching you, the warm of your body against his, it was like that the entire time. something that he wanted forever. he wanted you in his bed, right now.

with his mind crowded, azriel just nods as he picks up your bag handle and brings your suitcase in the room, shutting the door and locking it behind you after you stepped in.

“thank you az,” you tell him sheepishly.

“you didn’t even have to ask,” he says smiling at you, he points to the other door in the room, “there’s the bathroom so you can get ready for bed.”

“thank you, i’ll be back.” you tell him as you walk towards the bathroom. he watches the door shut behind you, he needs to get himself together before you come out, the thoughts he’s been having all day about you, clothed and naked, where consuming him, yet again.

he realized that you didn’t take anything to the bathroom when he hears the sink turn on. before it’s off, he moves to his own suitcase and grabs a large t shirt he brought and a pair of boxers for you to wear, he loved when you smelled like him. he grabbed out a pair of gray sweatpants for him to change into.

he hears the bathroom door open and looks over to you stepping out. you give him a smile as he watches you walk to suitcase next to his. you pulled out your toiletries bag and were about to pull out your pajamas before azriel had to cut in.

“here you can wear these,” azriel told you, he felt his face grow red, cursing himself for not holding himself together. “thank you az.” his gaze moves down to your lips as you smile at him, taking the clothes from his hand, he feels your fingers brush his. he watches as you turn back around and head to the bathroom to change for bed.

azriel took this time to change into his own sweatpants while he waited his turn for the bathroom. he connected his phone to the tv and put whatever episode of park and recs you guys left off on, leaving it on for background noise and he turned off the light, leaving the room with a small glowing lamp in the corner by the door.

azriel watches the tv from the edge of the bed as he sees you from the corner of his eye come out of the bathroom. dressed in the clothes he gave you, his heart started beating faster.

“i feel like i’ve said thank you a thousand times but thank you again az,” he heard you say as you walked towards him. he looked up to meet your gaze as you stood, almost in between his thighs as he rested his hands on them, “thank you for bringing me here, this place is fucking beautiful- i can’t wait for tomorrow, you’re amazing az thank you,” he feels your hand reach up and hold his cheek, rubbing it thoughtfully over his sculpted cheekbone.

he couldn’t help the way his cheeks heated up under your gaze, “thank you for coming with me, this will probably be a weekend you will never forget,” azriel said with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the sides of your hips.

azriel heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and go to the bathroom before you guys go to bed. when he comes back, he sees you in the blankets like it’s the most normal thing you’ve ever done. the comforter is pulled up to your chin as your eyes linger on the bathroom door as azriel stepped out.

he moves toward the bed and walks around to the opposite side of the bed, sliding in next to you before he lays on his side, facing your back. the show plays in the background as he watches you turn to face him.

azriel lifts his arm and brushes some of your fallen hair behind your ear as he spoke, “i’m glad we’re here.”

“me too az,” you say quietly.

his hand rests on your cheek before azriel watches you move to cuddle into his chest, just wanting you to be closer to him. he wraps his arm around your body, pulling you closer into his body as he kisses your forehead.

“goodnight princess.”

“goodnight az.”

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

thank you all for the support, love and feedback! here’s the taglist for this! thank you guys so much! comments and feedback are always appreciated

@purple-haired-faerie @thespencerhastings-blog1 @scorpioriesling @kitsunetori @scooobies @elsie-bells @nickishadow139 @lilah-asteria

[hyuckswoman]

« remind me why I’m here again please? » your bestfriend renjun says as he takes his shoes off to enter your place

you told him to come extra early because as always you were nervous as shit and needed someone to vent to before meeting up with mark near the park

« renjun please stop taking the piss out of me before I get where you are and get violent » you say as you’re heading to the kitchen going to grab something to drink

« I am literally not making fun of you, also I haven’t completely made my mind up on whether I should ditch you or not so I’d watch it if I were you » your bestfriend says sitting on your couch

you watched amused from the kitchen seeing how comfortable he is around your place, it made you happy to see such an important friend to you ease so well into your living space

« you’re here because i gave mark flowers and never want to be alone with him ever again » you say handing him the glass of water 

« you do realize that if you actually want something to happen with mark, you’re going to have to hang out alone with him even if you’re nervous about it » you bestfriend says sighing

« i don’t even know if I want something to happen with mark it’s all so… quick and scary you know? and also I have hung out with him alone before like right after my finals for example?? » you say throwing yourself on your couch to really emphasize the dramatic effect of the whole thing

« true, but anyway you’ve had a crush on mark- or sorry hallway crush on mark for like two years? and now that you guys are finally getting to know each other that’s when you wanna back off? » your friend says not really understanding you 

« like you said, I’ve had a hallway crush on mark for a long time, it was fun pretending that he definitely looked at me and that he’s in love with me just because he glanced at my direction for a micro second. It would make me laugh so hard having mark in my vicinity and going to tell you guys about it saying how he practically proposed to me. But now that I actually got to know him, he’s nice and we’re friends and I get along with him. I don’t want to have an actual crush on mark where i seriously start to overanalyze whatever the man does to comfort me instead of the funny delusions i used to have. I don’t want to have an actual serious crush on mark because I don’t want to lose him as a friend. I thought I was doing a good job but that fuckass flower bouquet oh my god.. my hands were so sweaty and I was so nervous, I didn’t want him to think that I was weird and I was so scared and I feel like that’s not a reaction that I want to have when being with mark, I honestly don’t know where my feelings stand today and it’s not something I wanna find out. that’s why I need you here for support today » you rant to your friend not even bothering to look at him in case you start to actually get emotional or something 

« can’t believe I’m only here to be your emotional support animal or whatever » renjun says getting up from the couch (probably to refill his glass)

« noooooooo don’t say that, you’re making me sound like an asshole » you say voice muffled as you’re hugging your friend from the back (or more like hanging off of him while he very painfully drags you to the kitchen)

« you are an asshole » he replies to which you only nod, it was fair after all. 

« but whatever I’m here so unless I start to feel like a third wheel I’ll be by your side the whole time so you don’t have to worry, now go get dressed now cause otherwise we’ll be running late » renjun finishes 

as you head into your room you softly smile finding comfort in the fact that no matter how badly this whole mark situation ends, you’ll still have your friends to back you up

you were standing next to renjun who was sitting on a bench complaining about the park that was- and i quote- a longer walk then what you told him. as you were about to speak to get him to shut up you hear both your names being called 

« hi, I’m sorry I hope you guys didn’t wait for long » mark says

holy shit the man looked good. suspiciously so. 

« no we just got here because the walk was THIRTY MINUTES and not fifteen like she told- » before your best friend could finish his sentence you put your hand over his mouth, you had ENOUGH

« renjun, i love you, really you know I do now PLEASE ENOUGH » you say as renjun puts his hands up innocently and mark laughs 

« do you guys know what you wanna do? » mark asks to which you both shrug 

you looked at your surroundings spotting a cool cafe that seemed cozy enough for you guys to stay in so you pointed at it and in a mutual agreement they both nodded

« so how long have you guys been friends? » mark asks you chuckle quietly seeing how hard he was trying to make this less awkward (it also reminded you of when he did that the first time you sat next to donghyuck)

«  i don’t even know man, i only remember seeing his drawings and i was gagged, i thought he was the coolest person i had ever seen in my life… little did i know tho » you say earning an elbow to your side from renjun

« omg wait renjun i didn’t tell you… mark congratulated us for being in a relationship the other day » you say as mark immediately gets red and renjun looks at you in confusion trying to decipher if you want mark to believe that you’re dating him so he should play along or if he should tell the truth 

« i’m sorry, it’s just the tweets, i believed you guys were dating.. man why would you tell him im so embarrassed now » mark says and before you could reply your friend bursts out laughing 

« cmon now.. the thought of me dating you surely isn’t that fucking funny » you say cause why the fuck was he laughing that hard

« yes it is oh my god… yea no not in a relationship not now not ever » he replies as you just frown 

«  you know what? ningning would never treat me like that, i’m going to ditch all of you for other people i can’t keep being disrespected like that » you say, mark raises his hands up

« what did i do?? » he defends himself « you’re laughing!! » you reply to which he only nods 

« so you take piano lessons? i’ve heard you play before and have a hard time imagining what you could possibly learn more » you say trying to make conversation 

« no haha, i give piano lessons to a child, i do it here and there to make a bit of money » mark replies

« damn, maybe i should do something with my life to get a bit of money too, i’ll like babysit or something » you say more to yourself than anyone 

« babysit?? i don’t think anyone in their right mind should trust you with their kid » renjun says 

« i have to start somewhere though i mean look you sell your art, make gives piano lessons the fuck am i supposed to do?? » you reply sipping on your drink

« i’ve just got this crazy idea.. what if you like gave bass lessons? » mark says pretending to be enlightened because… duh? why would you consider babysitting when you can play the bass?

you just shrug at him because you weren’t in the mood for reassurance which you know would come if you told the two men you’re eating with that you couldn’t give bass lessons cause you’re not talented enough 

as you were sipping on the (very overpriced but very good) drink you ordered you stopped for a second to watch your bestfriend and mark just being completely in love with each other. you giggled quietly remembering the whole speech renjun gave you about putting yourself out there to catch mark’s attention when as it turns out he’s the one stealing your man from you

« why am i third wheeling right now » you say with a smile on your face, this whole situation was just too funny 

« yea, that’s crazy, i didn’t know we would get along so well. renjun, i was so intimidated when she told me you were coming » mark says

« i’m glad i’m here though, you really are nice i understand why jaemin and y/n like you so much » renjun says somehow emphasizing the fact that you ‘like him so much’ 

« cmon now i don’t like him THAT much let’s take it down a notch » you say defending yourself. mark was going to eventually figure out you liked him but it was definitely NOT today 

« you’re so obsessed with me oh my god » mark says laughing

as you guys were heading out of the café (after multiple hours of you third wheeling) renjun turned to both of you guys. you expected the worst seeing his quick apologetic glance he threw at you 

« guys i’m so sorry i’m gonna have to go but please by all means continue your hangout i wouldn’t want it stopping just because i leave i mean after all i wasn’t even supposed to be here in the first place » he said. he looked so apologetic you almost couldn’t get mad at him. 

almost. because you knew him too well and knew for a fact that he did not have anything planned at all and was just ditching you guys to make you hang out with mark alone. how did you know? first of all the fact he so clearly insisted on the hang out not being over just because he left but also because of the small smile (more like smirk) he was so desperately trying to fight. asshole.

as he hugs you before leaving he whispers in your ear « you’ll do fine i’m sure of it, and if you don’t then i owe you for life or something » then he left. and suddenly you wanted to kill yourself 

« you can leave if you want, i won’t tell renjun i promise » mark says looking..apologetic? 

« huh? » you answer because why was he looking at you like that

«  i know you didn’t wanna hang out alone with me and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable so you can leave » mark says not even looking at you anymore suddenly finding the ground much more interesting 

« it’s crazy how big of an asshole i must be oh my god. i won’t leave though, not unless you want me to. i’ll be honest i didn’t want to hang out with you alone because i thought you would find me weird since i gave you a bouquet and i got nervous » yeaaa…. that’s definitely why yup! 

mark bursts out laughing « that’s why?? dude i really loved the bouquet you shouldn’t feel nervous. and we’ve hung out alone before so bouquet or not you shouldn’t feel nervous with me we’re friends » he says putting his arm around your shoulder (you would’ve totally freaked out if the man hadn’t called you his friend right before doing that)

« i’m glad i got to meet renjun though, you guys seem close » he says removing his arm from your shoulder ( ☹️ )

« yea renjun is an amazing friend honestly i wouldn’t trade him for the world, he constantly reassures me and takes care of me i really wonder what good deeds i’ve done to deserve the man » you say

« sounds like you might have a little crush » mark teases

« nah, i love renjun to the core but it’s really not like that, he’s my twin flame my best friend, i’m just immensely grateful for everything he’s done for me » you finish your rant, mark only nods somehow understanding what you’re telling him

« oh there’s another park not far away let’s go » mark says

«  im down » you answer 

once arriving to the park, mark automatically goes to the playground, an action that made you chuckle a bit

« dude check out there monkey bars, i used to be so good when i was younger » mark says climbing on them 

« really? i hated those so much i only went on the swings and slides » you answer while mark calls you boring

after three hours of talking (and playing) it was now getting late so you both decided to go home, with mark walking you there of course. 

you were now in front of your apartment 

« thank you for agreeing to go out with me today. i’m glad we’ve moved past the awkward stage of our friendship. thank you for the flowers again, you never fail to make me feel special, i hope one day i can make you feel that too » mark says 

« duuuude you are special i’m not even doing anything. also i’m glad we’re friends too. and you need to stop thanking me for the flowers it was nothing » you answer

« maybe it wasn’t much to you but it means so much more than you could ever imagine to me. anyway i won’t bother you any longer, goodbye y/n » mark says 

« bye mark » you say waving at him before closing the door. 

you make him feel special. 

35. third wheel

previous chapter masterlist next chapter

notes: this chapter had me stressed omg (none of this is proofread so if you see any mistakes.. no you don't tf) (i say this as if any of my chapters are proofread lol) (to the 💎 anon i saw your ask n yes you can be 💎 anon (i haven't answered bc i'll answer when i publish your req) ) ALSO to every other person that requested smt i wll work on it just not now as my finals are coming up lol

also idk if anyone noticed (you probably did not) but not only a new mark nickname unlocked but also a new contact name?? ohhh these two are ADVANCING (i also had a full mental breakdown (almost cried) bc my taglist wasn't working and wasn't tagging anybody?? so ply tell me if it didn't work for youuu)

taglist (open): @imsiriuslyreal @iscocohere @simpforarmihn @replayenthusiast @lovm4rk @youreintheclubb @polarisjisung @sour-chaos @jising-jisang-jisung @aerivrs @multifandomania @tiddygang2020 @roseangelxfuma @skepvids @morkiee @yangasm @artstaeh @pussyslayerhd @bacons-thighs @bugcattie @leefullsun @jkslvsnella @alethea-moon @marvelahsobx @haechansbbg @katsukis1wife @winuvs @n0hyuck @whats-my-question @jaehyunastico @hibernatinghamster @user7520 @m1dn1ghtv1olet @starwonb1n @lostinneocity @miniature-tragedy @llearlert @haezyhyuck @inosfavgf @bluesinfinities @calumsfringe @cigarettesafterjae @defzcl @delfdiary @minkyuncutie

[https-furina]

— i love you endlessly ! ★ | edition: siblings, version 1.0

ft. lyney + lynette, kaeya + diluc, aether + lumine & albedo + klee. content. heavy angst, all family/platonic love, character death, mentions of blood, injury, light cursing. references to lyney’s vision story + lyney and lynette's story, hints at kaeya + lyney with ptsd & lyney with separation anxiety. aether + lumine is purely headcanon and is not representative of the future of genshin.

notes. my first time writing anything ever with klee and this is how it’s going… i’m so sorry klee omfg. this actually used to have ayato+ayaka and jean+barbara in it !! but i cut them out so i could post it since it’s been in my drafts for a LONG time and they weren’t finished yet. i’ll do a part two with them. taglist — open. @ryuryuryuyurboat @soleillunne @rainswept

✉️ mail received! sender: lyney & lynette

lyney lacks to admit the pure fear that sends shocks and shivers down his body when lynette is not within immediate sight of him. she likes to chime that he says some weird things; perhaps he does on late nights when lynette is accompanying freminet without him - father had assigned him to a different mission and he'd finished much earlier than her. thoughts rush through his mind quicker than he can process them, his aching legs pacing the floor of his bedroom.

are they okay? did something go wrong? lyney's mind is restless at all times, he needs to know lynette is safe. in a few moments of silence, he'll see a younger lynette in the dark, her ears flattened to her head and tail tucked in antagonising fear - the night that father had saved her life, mere moments from the potential loss of her life. lyney's throat will always tighten, breathing rapidly until his lungs burn.

he knows exactly how he got his vision, in the twilight of a cold night, surrounded by danger. he knows that he had begged father so recklessly for a delusion simply to fill the gap that the lack of a vision had given him but he didn't care, he wanted to accompany his sister. he couldn't let her out of his sight again.

one attachment added!

there's a painful silence that's filling the orphanage. on most days, it would be bustling - after all, father had acquired many orphans in light of their dire situations being unable to refuse such kind help as she offers. lyney catches himself frowning, feet pacing the worn floorboards of his bedroom floor. if lynette was here, she'd have already quipped about how the floor will 'disappear beneath him if he keeps pacing.'

the reminder of his twin sister should make him smile. it should draw a crack of a smile to his face and curl the corners of his lips upwards but it doesn't. she still hasn't returned from her mission and while lyney refuses to admit that he's been counting the hours since he was separated from lynette, he most definitely has.

an oil lamp burns by his bedside, painting the room in an orange hue as it glows and yet casting shadows across the walls. lyney can't help but catch sight of the shadows that night, painted on the walls in the glow of roaring flames that crackled from where they burned. he's painfully reminded of the fragile young girl lynette was, vulnerable and almost caught in a life threatening situation. he contemplates what would have happened to her if father hadn't interrupted in time but he's quick to shake his head. he's seen many what if scenarios in his nightmares, waking him as his body trembles and his lungs burn for oxygen.

the pained reminders stain his mind, torturing him when there's a burst of noise from the orphanage's entry hall; multiple voices screaming his name repeatedly, he can hear them calling for him and begging to know where he is. lyney whips his head towards his bedroom door, storming forth as he hurriedly opens it. he catches eyes with one of the orphans who'd been calling his name so painfully. they're wide, fearful and their face is void of colour.

"lyney! it's lynette-" need they say more? the boy rushes forward, skipping steps as he runs down the spiral staircases dressed in lavish red carpets that father had installed for a sense of aesthetic - she had claimed she couldn't work nor focus in a place so bland. - there's a sense of dread that fuels every inch of lyney's body, tearing him apart when he bursts into the entry hall.

beneath a dazzling chandelier with a warm amber glow, arlecchino herself has nestled beside the form of someone on the checker tiled floor, surrounded by orphans that she's trying desperately to shoo away, demanding for space in all of her authority. she's seem awry, not her typical self and lyney's lilac eyes fall to the familiar shoes of his twin sister, poking from the crowd.

his heart sinks, colour leaving his face as he hesitantly approaches; she's just injured, he convinces himself when he sees the stain of red on her usually pristine white shirt, something she was devoted to keeping that way for their shows. the orphans part at the sight of him, the dark eyes of arlecchino raising to him before she trails back down to lynette.

the girl is propped onto her lap, head rested against arlecchino's thighs. lynette has always been a pale girl, lyney knows this well enough whenever he glimpses his own shade of skin colour but she's even paler than usual, her eyelashes fluttered shut. the silence between himself and father is almost deafening.

"she's alright, isn't she?" he barely manages to croak out, seeing how arlecchino has pressed a lanky hand to where lynette's blood has seeped from. she almost grimaces, it's the most emotion lyney has seen from her for a while.

"she's already gone, lyney," was that a crack in her voice? lyney doesn't have the time to ponder it when his vision goes dark, he's dizzy and there's static in the corners of his eyes when he struggles to get air into his lungs, "freminet is in the infirmary."

the infirmary, yes - that means he's getting medical help but the same can't be said for his twin, who he had lacked to part with since they were born. the twin he would tell everything to, who he trusted with every fibre of his being as much as she did with him too.

there's a stinging in his eyes when tears prick at them, threatening to spill the longer he stares at lynette's body. he falls to his knees, not caring for the pain it causes when the floor is less than comfortable, pressing his face into lynette's clothing. she smells the same as she always does, the faint smell of the sugary desserts he'd reprimand her for, lumidouce bells and the ocean.

he lets out a cry into the fabric of her clothing, his hands gripping at it until his knuckles turn white. his cheek presses to her neck, she's cold to the touch already and arlecchino can't help but turn her head away at the sight of her most useful child reduced to a sobbing, shaking mess on the entry hall floor, gripping his dead sister for dear life.

✉️ mail received! sender: kaeya & diluc

despite going down two very different paths of life and perhaps saying things they shouldn’t have, they cannot deny the invisible ties of brotherly love. no matter how much diluc may throw sharp words at the cryo vision, they see their younger selves sometimes like reflections of the past in a shattered mirror’s shards.

on dreary nights where the rain storms against glass windows, when one brother remains consumed by a sweet yet bitter liquid on his tongue and the other brandishes a claymore in the night, they recognise their indifferences. they recognise the unshakeable bond that their pasts have tested to its limit. those around them too acknowledge that the past cannot truly deter emotions.

kaeya frequents the dawn winery much at the expense of his brother, who grumbles and snatches bottles of (almost stolen) wine from his tanned hands. it could be a misfortune he carries to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and this scene… feels so familiar to him.

one attachment added!

a crack of lightning decorates the dark sky looming over mondstadt. it’s been like this for a few hours now, trapping the two brothers in an awkward silence as they linger around the manor. diluc has made the effort to avoid his brother and yet tresses of blue hair keep getting in his peripheral vision.

“there’s been fatui sightings not far north from the winery,” kaeya’s icy gaze flickers towards the office door that isn’t completely shut, “perhaps we should tell master kaeya—”

“he doesn’t need to know, i’ll deal with it personally.” the deep voice of diluc booms, full of authority and the slightest attitude at the mention of his brother that makes kaeya click his tongue, pocketing the small, circular mora he’d been tossing with his thumb as diluc emerges from the office, the winery worker not far behind.

the brothers exchange a look, perhaps this scenario is all too familiar for them both to let it play out. diluc bites his tongue when he prepares for those words he knows kaeya will say.

“he doesn’t need to know?” kaeya mocks lowkey, a coy smile on his face as he dusts his hands together and approaches the redhead, “i’ll be accompanying you.”

and somehow the fiery red male cannot argue back, his eyes narrowing at his brother in distaste when he accepts his fate - it is raining after all, maybe kaeya’s vision could come in more useful than the cavalry captain typically tends to be, his breath laced with wine.

the brothers set off immediately, heads hanging low as they follow the muddy paths out of the winery; ones they’d followed many times before. something about this reminds them of how accustomed to each other’s presence they are. the reports from various workers at the winery are indeed correct and whilst diluc storms into the fight, vision ablaze with an anger that cannot be sated at the cost of a few mere fatui deaths, kaeya cannot help but ponder if there’s too many of them to take on by themselves.

rain impairs his vision, trickling down his face and soaking his hair to his skin. brandishing a blade in his hand, the young man can't help but think he's seen this before. another crack of lightning brightens the sky as a weapon is plunged into diluc's abdomen, his face pales as ruby eyes meet kaeya's panicked gaze.

the realisation hits when suddenly kaeya sees crepus' face over his brother's. he sees that evening when he arrived a little too late, the air struggling to get to his lungs no matter how he gasps for breath, clouds of breath quick to disperse in front of cold lips. kaeya is quick to finish the remaining enemies off before he's forced to look at diluc's slumped body in the mud.

"diluc?" he whispers, kneeling beside the bleeding man. diluc's gloved hands are pressed to his wound, a grimace on his face, "brother?"

"i heard you the first time," he grumbles, not wanting to admit the warmth that consumes his adrenaline filled heart at the sentiment behind hearing kaeya say brother once again, "..say it again."

kaeya takes a moment, his shaking hands dropping his faithful sword as he presses them over diluc's. he no longer feels the warmth emitting from his brother's pyro vision, his eyes stinging painfully - he blames the rain, of course, it's getting in his eyes.

"brother," it falls from his mouth hurriedly, followed by a quiet curse under his breath, "now isn't the time for this! w-we'll get you to adelinde..."

for the first time in years, a glimpse of a grin crosses the redhead's stoic face. in between shallow breaths and blurry sight, he gazes over the familiarity of his brother's face; blood or not. a final breath escapes his chapped lips in the cold of the night, his last thought going over how he wishes he had fixed things with kaeya sooner.

the cryo vision yells out into the night, quick to pull diluc against his chest as the rain continues to ruthlessly batter down on them. it happened again, he curses, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears blend with the raindrops on his cheeks. it won't happen again.

✉️ mail received! sender: aether & lumine

bound by blood, they have always been as thick as thieves together. no ends of time could stop them, no ends of trials and challenges that cross their paths on the journey to find each other. their determination is honourable across teyvat, seeking each other out as if there is no other person in the universe.

without each other they do not know what to do. after all, what do you do when the person you've travelled long and far with disappears without a trace and you're left with nothing but your wit to find them again?

one attachment added!

"brother!" her voice calls out, excitement coursing through her veins as she hurriedly drops the dull blade she'd sported her whole journey these past few years, traversing nations and fighting gods and others alike in search for her brother. aether does not budge, slumped against a rock overlooking the devastation left of khaerni'ah.

lumine's eyes trail to it, the smoke that rises in shades of grey and black, revealing that the flames still burnt at buildings and civilisation. the ashes still smoulder, hot to the touch as the embers glow and flicker through the air. this is not the khaenri'ah she remembers nor is it most likely the khaenri'ah that dainsleif remembers too - dainsleif.. where is he?

the blonde whips her head around in confusion at the sudden disappearance of the male who'd assisted her journey against the abyss order, solemnly appearing out of nowhere with new information to support her journey. a frown decorates her face before she turns her attention back to aether, her smile replacing her former expression.

"aether?" lumine calls out when her brother is unresponsive - was he mad at her for taking so long? why wasn't he sharing the same excitement as her? she stumbles over, breaking into a sprint towards the boulder her twin brother sat beside her. finally, after all this time, she could hold her brother again. her arms envelope the shoulders of her brother, breathing in that familiar scent mixed with the cursed remnants of smoke and ash that fill the air.

but aether doesn't respond to the hug nor the death tight grip lumine is succumbing him to in all of her excitement. slowly, she raises her head. aether's golden eyes are glazed over, his pupils gone and replaced with white. lumine's smile begins to fade, pulling away from the hug when she realises her brother's warm skin that she craved to touch is instead cold and pale.

the blood that has trickled from the corner of his mouth and seeps from his neck has darkened as it oxidises, speckled with the black ash from the flames that have torched khaenri'ah. the breath hitches in lumine's throat and it's suddenly harder to breathe than it was a few moments ago.

a wail escapes her, screaming into the eerie silence left in the aftermath of death and destruction. there's no one to comfort her, to answer her cries. was it all for nothing? had she journeyed this whole time, endlessly fulfilling everyone else's requests just for a snippet of information attaining to her brother, just to be too late?

✉️ mail received! sender: albedo & klee

klee is too young to remember where albedo comes from or even possibly his master, at least this is what he tells himself. klee merely does not care for the trivial matters revolving around where people come from or where they go - despite missing her mother alice dearly sometimes. no, instead the small girl cares for every face surrounding her in light of her mother’s absence; this is particularly albedo.

the people of mondstadt recognise that potentially the small girl is attached to him, referring to him as her big brother as if rhinedottir had made him specifically for her. and on cold nights atop dragonspine’s summit, dressed from head to toe for warmth, the chalk prince considers it.

with a bubbly personality and bright smile that sends everyone into gasps of awe, klee tends to get what she wants and albedo, as her designated big brother, is also victim to these schemes.

one attachment added!

“klee, don’t stray too far,” albedo chimes, concerned for her safety when sky blue eyes follow the brightly coloured girl’s attire through the bleak backdrop of snow, “it’s not safe.”

stars twinkle endlessly above the pair, shining like gold now that the snowstorm had cleared up and dark grey clouds had rolled away to reveal the night sky. klee stares in awe, the stars seem much clearer out here.

“big brother! look at that star!” klee points a gloved finger up at a particular star and whilst albedo gazes upon it, he’s reminded of the very diamond engraved to his throat. his breath hitches and he pulls his gaze away from the stars, approaching the small girl as to stop her leaving his side for too long.

he’d fell so hopelessly for that innocent grin and sparkling eyes when she begged him to let her stay the night with him on dragonspine - he knows he shouldn’t fear for her life entirely, there was a reason acting grand master jean kept klee tucked away in solitary confinement so much but he still couldn’t help the tense of his muscles when he watches her tread through thick layers of snow.

the silence on dragonspine after snowfall was usually albedo’s favourite thing about being stationed up here alone with his experiments but he found himself holding his breath, gloved hands ready to reach for the small girl every time she steps an inch too far. something seemed off but he denoted it down to him being anxious about klee’s presence on dragonspine.

amidst silence there’s a whistle, almost resembling that of an arrow soaring through air. in confusion, the blond whips his head around - nobody dares to step foot on dragonspine so recklessly, not without confiding in himself and the adventurer’s guild first, so where was that whistling coming from? that’s when klee lets out a piercing squeal into the night.

albedo is quick to turn his head back in klee’s direction, had he been so careless to take his attention from her for mere seconds only for her to end up injured? yet as his lips part to call her name, he catches sight of the young girl pierced in the neck but none other than an arrow.

the chilling air of dragonspine hitches in his throat, burning his lungs when he can’t seem to get oxygen into his body, his eyes burning holes into the sight before him when he falls to his knees beside her. she’s terrified, rasping for breath so heavily that the small clouds of warm breath dispersing at her lips are consistently appearing with sharp intakes.

the usual sparkle of ruby red eyes has been demoted to a glitter of wet liquid spilling from the corners of her eyes, her eyes set on the face of her faithful big brother she adored so heavily. she wants to speak, to call his name despite him being right in front of her but it hurts so much, why isn’t he doing something about it?

albedo only has himself to blame, he thinks when he notices the hillichurls disappearing from the cliffside when they think the threat has dissipated - the exact reason his attire was the colour scheme it was, to blend him in so effortlessly. a scowl crosses his face, tears threatening to spill but he remains strong; he has to for klee’s sake.

“i-i’m sorry,” he croaks out, filled to the brim with a guilt he wishes klee could understand when she lets out a strangled whimper, “i’m so sorry klee.”

he pleads that celestia is kind enough to give him the time to take her to the base of dragonspine, across the river to mondstadt so he can get her help. her blood stains the whites and greys of his clothes, blonde hair spilled over his shoulder as he carries her like she’s shattered porcelain.

by the time he makes it to the adventurer’s guild’s camp, out of the sheer cold that turns his limbs numb in an oddly comforting manner now, klee’s breath has ceased to exist despite all the panicked screams around her lifeless body.

he refuses to leave her body’s side, buried neck deep in a suffocating guilt that none of these people will understand. he blames himself for the death of his own little sister, one of the only people he had after his master left.

© https-furina 2023.

[apomaro-mellow]

Part B

I just wanted a bit of Eddie losing control while protecting Steve and their unborn child and this word vomit came out.

“He’s making FOOLS of us Juliana!” 

Alric Harrington ripped up the invitation that had been sent. His wife sat in a corner, rubbing her round belly worriedly. 

“He gets himself kidnapped, then fornicates with this beast, IS CARRYING HIS SEED, and now...” He breathed in deep. After his outburst his next words were deceivingly quiet. “Now he is planning to parade under the legitimacy of marriage.”

“You don’t really think that he could be...that he could be carrying, do you?”, Juliana’s eyes were glistening. “It’s not possible. It’s-”

“Blasphemy. He has been a stain on the royal family for too long. And I have neglected my duties as a father.”

“My love-”

“I will do what needs to be done! For the sake of our name. So our next child can come into a pure world.”

-----------------------

The castle had been buzzing with activity. The kind that Steve would love to oversee. If only his groom-to-be could find it in him to let him go. 

“I would like to get out of bed sometime today”, Steve said.

Eddie growled against his ear, hands pressed protectively around his torso. Most of their mornings for the past month had been like this. Ever since they realized their coupling had taken and Steve was pregnant. With him only being a few weeks along, there wasn’t an official announcement but everyone in the castle knew which meant the rumor was probably flying outside the walls of their home as well.

The day they confirmed it, Eddie immediately went to the balcony and shouted it to the heavens for all to hear. He had been ecstatic, elated. And then horny. And then fiercely protective.

Usually, they were slow to get out of bed for more romantic reasons. Now, Steve couldn’t get Eddie to let him go until his baser instincts were satisfied and knew he and his child wouldn’t meet their end the moment they left the bedroom.

When he was finally able to leave, he was able to look on the wedding preparations. Steve couldn’t help but think about how he had started in this place. Stolen from his kingdom and sulking in a cold dungeon. Now he was a king in all but name.

Preparations went on and just a few weeks into them, Steve received a message from his parents. It was an official announcement. The birth of the new crown prince, Tristan Harrington. When Steve read through it, his hands shook. Eddie held them to ground him.

“They don’t deserve you, love. You don’t need to involve yourself with them anymore.”

“Eddie, it’s not about me.” He put a hand to his belly, thinking of their own future child. “They’re going to ruin him. That’s my brother, I can’t ignore that.”

Eddie kissed his knuckles. “What do you want to do?”

Steve separated the announcement from another letter. “This came with it. My father wants to meet with you.”

Eddie growled. The last time that man called on Steve, his carriage just happened to be accosted by bandits. Eddie still wasn’t convinced that wasn’t somehow his father’s doing.

“I think he wants to negotiate. Maybe, in his own self delusion, he’s seeing this as a political marriage. Which means opportunity for him.”

“He doesn’t get to use you like a pawn after he threw you away”, Eddie said, wishing he’d used softer words when he saw how Steve flinched. “I don’t have to meet with him. I am a king, he does not order me.”

“Eddie...if we play our cards right maybe...”, Steve sighed. What he was hoping for seemed so lofty but he just had to believe it. “Maybe they’ll let me be in my brother’s life.”

Steve knew what would probably happen if they didn’t try. His name would be wiped from the royal record, his brother would be left completely in the dark about him and grow up under the same oppressive hand as he did. Or things could be worse to keep him from going down the same road as Steve.

Any anger Eddie had dissipated when he looked into his love’s eyes. He’d do anything for this man. Eddie leaned over, putting their heads together. 

“I’ll talk to him. But you owe me~”, he grinned, starting to kiss at the side of Steve’s face.

“Oh? Pledging myself eternally to you and bearing your heirs isn’t enough”, Steve teased.

“Heirssssss?”

“It appears I’ve bedded a snake.”

“Steve, my light, are you...?”

“I’m barely showing. But Jeff is predicting twins.”

And then Eddie purred and Steve knew he’d lost him. He kept going anyway.

“Robin is saying it’s gonna be a whole litter but I know she’s just teasing like she does-”

Eddie pushed him to the bed and all conversation stopped right there.

--------------------------

Unusual for a royal procession, they kept their party small. Eddie didn’t trust the people they were going to. He kept their most loyal back at the castle. Both to keep up with the wedding preparations and to make sure nothing happened while they were gone. Robin had protested but she was the only one Steve trusted with his vision for his wedding day and he needed someone who wouldn’t rile Eddie up the whole time. He loved Robin, but she could be an instigator, which was why they brought Jeff. 

When the castle gates were in sight, Steve held Eddie’s hand and looked to him.

“Now when we get there, you have to promise me-”

“Anything, sweetness.”

“No theatrics.”

“Hm, almost anything.”

“Eddie.”

“Steve, I can’t not make an entrance, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“They’ll be less flexible if they see you as the literal incarnation of darkness. Just try and tone it down a little?”

Toning it down ended up meaning sending a very large horde of crows ahead of them to perch on the walls and rooftops of the castle. When Steve exited the carriage, he gave Eddie a very controlled look before seeing his parents awaiting them. It was the first time he’d seen them in months. Steve had hoped Tristan would be there, cradled in his mother’s arms so that he could meet him right away. But he wasn’t. If Steve had to guess, he was away in the nursery.

“The kingdom welcomes you”, Alric said, with a very obvious undercurrent of ‘but I do not’. His father didn’t even spare him a glance. “I’m sure you must be tired after your long journey-”

“I’d actually like to get right to business”, Eddie interrupted. “But I would like Steve to rest. Wouldn’t want to put any stress on your grandchild.”

Somehow they managed to keep from grimacing, but neither of his parents’ expressions could be called pleasant. Eddie was taken to discuss things with his father, while Steve followed behind his mother. Eddie had ordered Jeff not to leave Steve’s side, so he came along as well.

Walking down the halls that had housed him until recently, Steve felt very much like a child again, under his parents’ thumb. It didn’t matter that he had grown and changed and was even about to be a father himself. One stern look from his mother and all he wanted was to please her.

They came to one of the sitting rooms. Steve remembered spending plenty of nights here when he was very young and still loved in the king and queen’s eyes. Jeff stood at attention at the door while they were served tea.

“Congratulations on bringing my brother into the world.”

“It was an easy birth”, his mother said tersely.

Steve bit his lip. He knew the situation and the events leading up to it were unorthodox, but typically mothers were happy when their children were having children of their own. Couldn’t she look at him and smile a little? Offer up some motherly wisdom? Anything?

“Do you have any advice? For when it happens?”, he asked, putting a hand to his belly.

Her eyes narrowed at the movement but she was saved from answering when a nursemaid came in, holding who could only be his brother.

“We need to talk”, his mother said.

------------------------------

“You’ve written quite the essay here”, Eddie said, fingers brushing against the parchment Alric had presented. They sat across from each other. There were royal guards standing sentry all around, which was normal. But Eddie clocked how tense they were. “How about you just give me the broad strokes.”

“Your reputation for eschewing formality precedes you”, Alric glared.

“I find that people use decorum as armor. It means they’re trying to hide something unsightly. Just say to my face that you want to use your own son as a bargaining chip.”

“Are you not a king?”, Alric challenged. “You know as well as I do that we do not live for ourselves, but for our people. We are all bargaining chips from the day we’re born. Steven is no different. Neither are you.”

“And I suppose your newborn is just as expendable?” In fact, Eddie was willing to bet the queen was using the infant to get Steve to fall in line.

“He is the future of this kingdom. And I won’t let anything get in the way of it.”

Eddie laughed. “It’s funny. Had you done this months ago, we could have been over and done.” Having a sit down with this man had been all Eddie wanted. Kidnapping Steve to coerce him had been a last resort and not even that had worked.

“I’d say things ended up in your favor. You got a plaything in the form a crown prince.”

“Your son is more than a plaything. He’s more than a pawn! If you don’t have the decency to respect him now, when he’s the only thing holding me back, then we have nothing to discuss.” Eddie stood and more guards mobilized around them.

Alric crossed his arms. “That boy hasn’t done a damn thing to earn my respect. And neither have you. I could have declared war on you long ago. I didn’t. But playtime is over.”

Three guards tried to tackle Eddie but only managed to get him down for a second before he was shoving them off. But one had gotten a noose around his neck and tightened it. Others began to tie down his limbs.

“Get him to the dungeons for now. We’ll have a public execution in the morning. Juliana should be done with Steven by now.”

Eddie’s struggling paused and all he saw was red.

--------------------

Steve and his mother stood over a crib that had been brought to the room. There, Tristan laid, napping peacefully. 

“Can I hold him?”, Steve asked.

“Steven...this baby will be king one day”, his mother said in response.

“....I’m aware”, Steve said, a little confused.

“I intend to do right with this one. I don’t know where exactly I went wrong with you, but I did.” Her eyes began to wet as if she were truly heartbroken by what her firstborn had become.

“Mother, I-”, he stopped when she held up a hand. It upset him that the move still worked on him.

“I am not your mother anymore. I just can’t be. If any child of mine cavorted with a beast like that I would...” She shook her head and swallowed.

Steve’s own grief was starting to be tempered with anger. “You would what? Say it.”

Juliana moved away from the crib, turning her back to him as she took a deep breath. “I would take my own life, as penance. And if I thought, for just one second that you would turn out this way...”

Steve waited for her to finish. When she didn’t he walked briskly to her side. “You would what? Send me away? Disown me? You’ve already done that.”

“I would have slit your throat”, she glared.

She rendered him speechless. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jeff tensing.

“Better to start over than allow a stain to spread. Steven, know that I say this with love. As my final act as your mother, to save your soul.”

“What are you talking about?!”

Steve got distracted when one of the royal guards attacked Jeff. Juliana got the jump on him and tied a cloth around his neck, pushing him down onto one of the many couches in the room. As his air was cut off, he thought about how easy he normally escaped something like this. But just because this woman had held the title ‘mother’ over his head, he hesitated.

Had he really been that spectacular of a failure? Was he so wrong for wanting to do right by them? If he just let her kill him, would that fix everything? Would they finally be happy?

Then the skies outside got dark. A screech rumbled through the castle as all warmth seeped out and was replaced by a chill. Steve pushed his mother off and while he was gasping for breath, Jeff came from behind and cracked a serving tray against her head. She fell limp onto the floor.

The air around them crackled and the shadows in the room got bigger. Something was clawing up the walls and Steve ran to the window right before Eddie burst through it. He was a mass of pitch black. Like he couldn’t decide what form to take. The only discernable parts of him were wild eyes, claws, and a maw of sharp teeth which had Alric’s body, slack and covered in blood.

Eddie dropped him at Steve’s feet, presenting. He gave a low groan, the only sign he was still alive. Steve heard his brother crying but had to tend to Eddie first.

“Jeff the, the baby”, he said.

Jeff went right over to soothe the infant while Steve reached for the darkness that was his love. Steve let it surround him, whispering things soft and sweet so that his king knew that he and their child were safe; that he’d done his duty and protected them.

-----------------------

Calling the royal council with such short notice was rare. But today was just the day for that sort of thing. They waited in the throne room to know the reason they had been summoned when two figures entered.

Eddie held Steve’s hand as they walked to the two thrones, meant for the king and queen. Eddie led his lover to the throne that was always meant to be his, and sat him in the king’s place. He bowed his head and kissed his hand, then sat next to him.

The council was stunned to silence.

“Alric and Juliana have committed a terrible crime against us, and are awaiting their punishment in the dungeons”, Steve announced. 

That got the men out of their shocked stupor and talking. Eddie wanted to rip out all their throats, but he let Steve control the conversation. Steve held a hand, prompting them to silence. It was as Eddie said, they were relying on decorum and rules to make sense of the madness before them. It honestly was the only thing keep Eddie from painting the walls with their blood.

“They attempted to assassinate King Edward and made an attempt on my life as well. For that, they have been stripped of their titles and any claims to the land.”

“Don’t tell me you propose to take their place”, one of the councilmen chortled. “You have no rights to the throne!”

Eddie growled and Steve rubbed his knuckles to soothe him.

“Fortunately, that won’t be necessary, as the kingdom does have an heir. I have no intention of stealing my brother’s birthright. But he is just a child.”

“Then the law dictates we should induct a regent until he is of age”, another said. “So if you will leave us to that-”

“The law dictates that we are well within our rights to march our armies and take you for all you have”, Steve said. “Do not mistake the grace I give for fragility. I know you all had a hand in that assassination attempt. I only keep you alive because appointing an entirely new council is not worth the hassle. That being said, you will see a decrease in your reach as the merge happens.”

“The merge?”

Eddie grinned, then looked to Steve like an angel of justice.

“Appointing a regent will only encourage infighting and problems down the road. Tristan will be king one day, if he so chooses. And will receive all the education he needs to do so under my wing. Until that day, these lands, which will one day be his, shall fall under King Edward’s rule.”

They were stunned into silence again and Eddie just couldn’t help himself. He was smiling so hard he thought his face might split.

“Welcome to hell bitches!”

[scuderiasundays]

trophy boyfriend

summary: a high school reunion with a special appearance by yours truly

words: 809

a/n: my first and most likely last drabble. the product of my latest dreams and delusions. bon appetit 👩🏻‍🍳

“Time flies when you’re having fun.” You wondered why no one had thought to mention how painstakingly slow time passes when you’re doing the opposite. You had graduated high school seven years ago and to say that you had drifted from your friends would be an understatement. The daily updates about everything from dorm room decor to upcoming deadlines had withered down to annual “Happy birthday! Hope you’re doing well.” texts. This is why it came as such a surprise when an invitation for a class reunion showed up in your inbox. 

“It looks like they’re planning a high school reunion now that the pandemic has settled down. I won’t be going, of course.” You casually brought up the topic over dinner with Carlos, your boyfriend of three years. Life was busy enough as it was, and this was one of those rare nights you had him all to yourself. No late-night cramming for you and no post-race briefings for him. You couldn’t help but wonder how you got so lucky to end up with the doe-eyed Spaniard sitting opposite you. Carlos had devoted the whole evening to making his signature burgers, only pausing for the occasional dance break with Piñon. 

“You know what? I think you should go.” The uneasy look on your face was enough for him to reach across the table to hold your hand. “Hey, look at me. No one knows what you’ve been up to and you’ve come so far.” Carlos was right about you disappearing off the face of the earth. You kept a low profile on all social media platforms, preferring to keep your inner circle small. The only people who knew where you were at any given moment were your mom, Carlos, and your study group at medical school. The shift to online classes during the pandemic had allowed you to follow your boyfriend from race to race but you had somehow managed to stay out of the public eye. You treasured what the two of you had, a love that was just yours. 

It took a walk to the gelato shop and Carlos running you a hot bath with bubbles to finally convince you to go. It just so happened that the reunion was happening on a Sunday. “It would’ve been more fun with you by my side. I could’ve introduced you as my trophy boyfriend.” You joke, mentally calculating the travel time between the venue and the circuit. “I’ll see what I can do, amor.” He says, giving you a kiss goodnight before turning out the lights.

Sunday came and your eyes were glued to your phone screen as you checked Carlos’ location on the “Find My” app. It was obvious you were using your phone as an escape from interacting with the crowd slowly gathering in front of you. “Hi! We didn’t even think you’d show up, Y/N. We’re all dying to know what you’ve been up to!” You heard a shrill voice approach you from behind and immediately knew it belonged to the former class president. You chatted back and forth, slowly dying inside as you were bombarded with questions from left and right. 

You had gone to an all-girls school, and it wasn't long before the topic of significant others came up. "Are you seeing anyone? What line of work are they in? Medicine? Finance, maybe?"  You hadn’t prepared for this one: “He works with cars.” That was all your frazzled brain could muster. “Oh, a mechanic! Give me his number. I need to get my car detailed,” someone said. Way to jump to conclusions, you thought as you politely excused yourself from the hustle and bustle. 

You were walking back to rejoin the crowd when you noticed everyone gathered around the only man in the room. He appeared to be holding up a gleaming, gold trophy, truly captivating his devoted audience. “No, it can’t be,” you thought as you edged closer. You could hardly believe your eyes but there he was in all his glory. “Lots of driving for one day but it looks like I made it just in time.” Carlos says, lighting up the room with his infectious charm. 

A million selfies and autographs later, you were being driven home in Carlos’ 812 Competizione. Carlos’ hand lay softly on your thigh as you leaned into the breeze seeping through the car’s open window. 

“I realized something tonight, Carlos. I don’t need emotional validation from people I hardly know anymore. None of them would be crazy enough to fight post-race pain and fatigue just to make me happy. You, my love, are all that matters.” It all comes out like word vomit, but you mean every single word. He takes a quick glance at you and chuckles. “Te quiero tanto. It was my honor being your literal trophy boyfriend, even if it was just for the night.” 

[wontheworld]

Challenge

Paring: fem idol! y/n x idol !Jungwon

Genre: fluff

Summary: YN and Jungwon are idols dance practicing, they do sweet venom challenge with each other feeding into the fans delusions that were true

Warnings: kissing

Notes: I’m sorry I took so long I’m back!! This was rlly bad i apologize <\3 happy new year and I hit 100!!! Thanks so much I love u guys

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

“Okay YN you have a dance brea-“ Her cherographer was cut off by music that was playing on the practice room speakers making all the members turn around confused

It was Enhypen Sweet Venom

“YN can you go to the next practice room and tell them their song is connected to the speaker” Her member asked as she nodded

She knew Jungwon did it on purpose, her and Jungwon have secretly been dating for a while no one knows not even the members but the fans do ship them time to time but that’s only what happened

She opened their practice room door as they all looked at her

“Did it connect to you guys again?” Jungwon questioned

She nodded as the boys groaned making her laugh

“It keeps connecting to you guys every time we apologize” Heeseung said and she shook her head

She laughed, “No no it’s okay it actually gave me a break I was about to do my dance break and God did I need a break” she laughed as the boys laughed with her

“We’re sorry oh and also do you want to do Sweet Venom challenge with us?” Jungwon answered

She nodded, “Oh yeah sure!” She replied, “I just need to Inform everyone so I’ll be back” she said as they nodded

She went back and told the members and choreographer and they approved before she came back

Her and Jungwon went outside the practice room and asked his manager, they did the challenge like 4 times before actually approving

“I like it” YN said as he nodded as the manager smiled before going somewhere probably posting it

“Comments are going to be on fire we’re always doing challenges together” she laughed

He shook his head while laughing, “Let them go insane!! I love doing practices with my favorite girl” he said pecking her lips making her laugh

“We’re in a open place bro” she pushed his chest as he hugged her

“I don’t careeee” he dragged out making her laugh even more and hug him back

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

©️wontheworld

Song for today:

[kookygranger]

And He Was

Ghost!Steve Harrington x Witch!Reader

Series Masterlist

900 words

“This is crazy!”

Steve barrels into the apartment after you.

You’d spent the rest of the train journey staring at each other as Steve held on tightly to the hand that stroked his arm. It wasn’t until a grumpy late-night commuter walked passed the both of you with a muttered get a room, that his attention was lost.

They could see him.

He tested out the waters of this new revelation with every person you passed on the way back to your apartment. Smiling and waving at the ticket attendant barely paying attention, leaning down to pat a dog belonging to a disgruntled runner that was forced to stop, opening the door for a woman who lived in your building and telling her to have a good night even through her suspicious look.

Steve Harrington could be seen again. He could greet people and help them through doors. He could touch things.

But he hadn’t bothered to touch you in the 23 minutes since he’d discovered this new development.

“Yeah it–“

“I mean what the hell?!” He paces franticly around your apartment. Smiling giddily at the feeling of your records under his fingertips, chuckling when he can pick up your teapot. “Want me to make you some tea?”

“Maybe later.”

His face falls at the lack of excitement on yours.

“What’s wrong?”

Why haven’t you jumped at the chance to touch me? You kept trying to when you couldn’t, doesn’t it matter anymore? Will you leave now that other people can give you attention?

“Nothing.” You shake your head, motioning to the teapot in his hand, “I’ll take care of that. Although I don’t think it’s gonna do you much good.” You walk towards him, “Whatever this is still doesn’t change the fact that you’re–“ He stops you from taking the pot with a hand on your arm, and you swear you still feel a zap even when there isn’t one.

Steve looks down at his hand and smiles softly when he feels the warmth of your skin under his moving thumb. He puts the pot down on your table, his now free hand moving to your waist. He leans in slowly and you can feel the inhale of his chest against your arm, that can’t be right, before his lips leave a soft peck on your cheek.

You're burning fiercer than you ever have under his gaze.

“Hi.”

You barely get the reply of a h out before he’s shifting you in front of him properly, one hand enveloping the side of your jaw while the other squeezes your waist as he presses his lips to yours.

There’s a shiver that runs through your whole body at the contact, like stepping into an ice bath, but then it’s all warmth. That familiar tingle spreads through you as his lips move against yours with a desperate pull. You flinch back before you’re lost in the feeling altogether, eyes shut and head shaking.

“I feel like this is crossing a line of delusion. I can’t be kissing a ghost! This is insan–“ Steve cuts you off with another deep kiss, hands confident in their attempt to ground you.

“You worry too much.” He mumbles into your mouth and you open your eyes, breaking your lips apart.

“Shouldn’t you be more worried? Steve, you're dead.”

He smirks, “Which means I have nothing left to worry about. Besides,” your lips click as he presses quick, sweet kisses to you between talking, “I don’t feel like I’m dead. ‘Cause I can feel again, you know?” He leans back, hazel eyes searching deep within your own, “I feel things when I’m with you.” His thumb strokes your cheek softly, “I can touch you for god’s sake.” He laughs in disbelief, “Babe, you’ve brought me back.”

You frown under his gaze of awe, “Steve that’s not possible.”

“Okay, maybe not back back, but you’ve done something.”

“I haven’t used any magic I swear.” You shake your head.

“No, not with magic. I think it’s just you.” He smiles, before licking his bottom lip, “I was content with my death when it happened you know. I got to say goodbye thanks to your friend, and I saved the people I loved with my sacrifice. Then I met you and I knew I couldn’t go. That it wasn’t really my time because I would miss out on a life with you.”

“Steve.” You whisper, eyes stinging.

“I’m serious. I don’t think it was an accident that led me to you. I think it was fate.”

“I don’t believe in fate.”

He frowns, “Isn’t that a witch thing though? You read tarot cards.”

“I use them more as guidelines on what to look out for. How to avoid bad things–”

“Whatever, I don’t care.” He shakes his head, before squeezing your hip again. “I know. You’ve done this to me.”

Tears are threatening to spill over your lash line now.

“I’m sorry.”

Steve smiles at the whisper that leaves you, “Don’t be. Best thing that’s ever happened to me. Gave me no choice but to find a way to be with you forever.”

You let him lean his body into you, giving up on fighting against your own when his lips find yours again, melting against him when he licks into your mouth. Steve Harrington was still dead, but his form appeared entirely real. How? At this moment you did not know, but you couldn’t find it in you to question it.

Because, well…you’d fallen in love with a ghost.

[fiveredlights]

there's glitter on the floor after the party: the deleted scenes

i'm sure it'll make someone happy because i think we all need it! just as a note, this is all unedited so some of it might make no sense and that's okay.

(i recommend the google doc for easier reading otherwise the whole thing is under the cut)

Chapter one: 2023

I don’t have anything to show…anything I did cut has already been long deleted. My bad. The first two are very sparse because I was cutting unwanted things as my Google docs was lagging whenever I opened it. The only thing I remember writing that chapter was that it was meant to coincide with Daniel’s return to COTA in real life but I ran out of time so I pushed it back to Las Vegas. 

Chapter two: 2024

CUT: Daniel winning the championship

WHY: Felt too rushed and easy. No emotional pay off, you were only just introduced to Daniel in RBR again. Also don’t ask me what happened to Max for him to not just clean sweep 2023-2027. Also don’t ask who won the championship in 2026. I declare that your favourite driver won it and I definitely did not forget to give a championship. 

DANIEL: Oh my god, it’s just surreal like I don’t know how to describe it. Especially after the past couple years, it’s just—yeah. And to do it with Max too, it’s just something special for me and the team. 

MISCELLANEOUS: 

73 Questions With Daniel Ricciardo | Vogue

3.3M views 2 days ago …more

Vogue 4M

[00:00:00]

DANIEL: Hello Vogue, didn’t see you there. Welcome to my home away from home.

[00:13:33]

PRODUCER: One sentence you could tell your younger self? 

DANIEL: Doors are meant to be opened. 

[00:15:09]

PRODUCER: Worst thing about racing in Formula 1?

DANIEL: Accidents, hands down. It’s horrifying as a driver to watch someone crash, because that’s when everything sort of gets a reality check in the cockpit. Like we are racing around at three-hundred kilometres an hour, and there is a real chance that something could go wrong. I’ll never forget Max’s Silverstone accident, just—yeah it just a horrible thing to witness.

—

emotionalsupportredbull

not daniel fidgeting with his necklace when he talks about max’s silverstone crash… you ain’t slick boy

#yes i have deluded myself into thinking it’s from max #i’m already depressed i don’t want to hear it #join team emotional support redbull delusions

348 notes

frenchpine

qu'est-ce que tu sais, espèce de salope française qui aime l'érable et qui parle bizarrement ? sors avec ça (What do you know you maple-loving weird speaking French bitch? Come out with it)

#je ne veux pas te traiter de salope #ou peut-être que c'est le cas (#i don’t mean to call you a bitch #or maybe i do)

392 notes

(i promise i wrote this before he decided to rear end daniel in china. i pinky promise.)

landando

daniel “doors are meant to be opened” ricciardo

#what is my man on #doors are meant to be opened 😭😭 #he didn’t open a door one time and it’s haunted him for life

78 notes

Chapter three: 2025

CUT: Red Bull marketing video

WHY: Chapter was already very long. Also I couldn’t find any good questions.

Daniel and Max play the F1 newlywed game 💒💍

827K views 10 hours ago #Gives you wings #F1 … more

Oracle Red Bull Racing 1.58M 

INT. RED BULL RACING HOSPITALITY - DAY

[00:00:00]

MAX: Hello everyone and today we are playing the newlywed game. 

DANIEL: Are you excited? 

MAX: I mean I have to say yes otherwise I look like I’m in an unhappy marriage. 

DANIEL: Wow—

MAX:—Also the name doesn’t even make sense. Newlywed? That isn’t us.

DANIEL: [To off screen] Guys, I would get someone to approve your overtime, we’re gonna be here a while. 

[00:02:01]

OFF SCREEN: Who is more likely to overpack for a holiday?

DANIEL: Don’t look at me!

MAX: We have three suitcases. 

DANIEL: It takes effort to look this good. 

MAX: Three suitcases every single race weekend.

DANIEL: What’s the next question? 

CUT: Lucinda’s vaguely threatening email

WHY: Broke the fourth wall. Glitter on the floor is meant to be solely a third POV view and I couldn’t justify it. 

CONFIDENTIAL: PRESS STRATEGY REGARDING MAX VERSTAPPEN AND DANIEL RICCIARDO

From: lucindasalzar@/press.redbull.racing

To: maxverstappen@/redbull.racing, danielricciardo@/redbull.racing

CC: christianhorner@/redbull.racing, teamdaniel@/press.redbull.racing, teammax@/press.redbull.racing

Date: 21 Nov 2025 at 3:04am

Hi all, 

Please see attachment below for finalised details regarding your press strategy and talking points this weekend. Media have been advised to not ask any questions about the ring and we’d like to keep it that way. Remember to keep it vague if you do get asked, and if you don’t feel comfortable a simple no comment will suffice. 

Please email for any further clarification or questions and good luck this weekend. (And please no spur of the moment Las Vegas—Elvis impersonator weddings you two.) 

Best regards, 

Lucinda Salzar (she/her)

Head of Communications, Red Bull Racing. 

E: lucindasalzar@/press.redbull.racing

P: +44 ** **** *****

CUT: The chaotic Abu Dhabi super seat swap

WHY: I had to cut this because I altered the timeline, Las Vegas was going to the second last race. In an earlier version Max and Daniel were gonna come back in 2026 and also drop the Matilda news at the same time but I wanted more content just out of Maxiel so I had to leave this on the cutting board. Some of it made it into the published fic but the original thing was more chaotic. (Also I changed the Red Bull junior driver at least once a week because they kept dropping them. It went from Hauger, to Crawford, to Maloney and then I just gave up because I could not keep up.)

lights-out-away-we-go

red bull needed to replace two drivers and they did in THE MOST CHAOTIC way possible. okay, just listen: 

the official red bull reserve driver is liam lawson (of alpha tauri, so he obviously gets pulled up)

alpha tauri then call on zane maloney to replace liam (alpha tauri’s reserve driver)

BUT, daniel’s car still needs to fulfil the mandatory rookie free practice session (max’s was completed in mexico when maloney drove)

red bull can’t get zane in daniel’s car again cause he’s got to drive liam’s… so they’ve got to find someone who has the super licence points … we’ll come back to this

so right now car 3 is being driven by liam lawson, car 40 is driven by zane maloney. i hear you ask… who is driving car 1? it’s none other than yuki tsunoda (of alphatauri)

I KNOW, but red bull have quite literally run out of contracted reserve drivers and i believe because every driver is technically employed by red bull (whether they drive for RB or AT) they’re able to pull them up or down without the FIA kicking up a fuss

i’ll wait for why red bull pulled up both AT’s 

this means yuki tsunoda’s alpha tauri will be without a driver and once again, red bull call Pepe Marti

#i don’t even know if this is 100% correct i could be so wrong

13,482 notes

—

SKY F1 SPORTS- 2025 ABU DHABI GRAND PRIX - FREE PRACTICE 1

David CROFT: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our final race of the 2025 season, to our first free practice session under the blistering sun of Abu Dhabi and if this is your first time watching, welcome along cause this will certainly be an interesting race weekend. Now, eagle eyed viewers may have caught that AlphaTauri driver Yuki Tsunoda is in the Red Bull, and his team mate is sitting in the next garage over not in a car. Anthony Davidson is with me—Ant, care to explain to our viewers at home the driver seat swap chaos that’s happening down at Red Bull? 

Anthony DAVIDSON: Hello everyone, wherever in the world you may be watching and yes, chaos is the right word for it isn’t it? I’ve got about five pieces of paper and I’m going to do my best to explain, what I think, is the most complicated driver situation in F1 history. 

CROFT: Yes, for those who didn’t join us last time out or who may be new to F1, I promise driver seat talk usually isn’t this complicated but we’ll do our best to make sense of it all. Now we’ve got to start at the last race for it all to make sense. Red Bull driver Daniel Ricciardo had a nasty crash with Enzo Fittipaldi of Haas that left him with a concussion and bruised ribs, which is why presumably he isn’t racing today, and we wish him well in his recovery. Red Bull’s other driver Max Verstappen was also not able to race this weekend for an unspecified reason, so Red Bull are left with two empty seats.

DAVIDSON: We know that Red Bull’s official reserve driver is Liam Lawson, so that’s no problem there. He’s driving Daniel’s number 3 car, but here’s where the trouble starts. Car number 3 still needs to complete its mandatory FP1 session, which Zane Maloney was planning to do this session. But you’ll notice that Zane is in Liam’s car right now, the Alpha Tauri—and this is because he’s Alpha Tauri’s reserve driver. 

CROFT: Still following everyone? So far, car number 3 is being driven by Liam Lawson, car number 40 is being driven by Zane Maloney. But Liam Lawson isn’t even in car number 3 at the moment, it’s Pepe Marti, who is currently racing in Formula 2 and part of Red Bull’s junior academy. He’s competing the mandatory rookie FP1 session for car number 3.

DAVIDSON: So now we move onto Max Verstappen’s car, which is being driven by the other AlphaTauri driver, Yuki Tsunoda. Which now means AlphaTauri needs a driver to replace him and it’s Red Bull junior driver, Isack Hadjar who is in car number 22. 

CROFT: Right, so it’s Yuki Tsunoda and Liam Lawson in Red Bull for the race, Zane Maloney and Isack Hadjar in the AlphaTauri’s and Pepe Marti in Liam or Daniel’s Red Bull for FP1. Confused? Don’t worry, so are we so bare with us if we accidentally get names and teams wrong because I believe this is possibly the biggest driver change in F1 history.

DAVIDSON: Yes and because I know people will be asking, “Why didn’t Red Bull just put Maloney in Daniel’s car for the whole weekend?” and we have an answer and officially, it’s because of contracts. Whatever behind the scenes isn’t allowing him to drive that Red Bull which is why they called up Yuki instead. Maloney has also said he feels more confident driving the AlphaTauri all weekend rather than the Red Bull, so that also may play a factor in this. 

CROFT: But also this is a perfect opportunity for Red Bull to compare both drivers, should the opportunity for one of them to make the move into Red Bull when the time arises. 

Chapter four: 2026

CUT: Netflix Drive to Survive script

WHY: Once again, I was lazy and didn’t want to write a script. I kinda wish I did though, I think it would’ve given Las Vegas 2025 more substance, especially because you only see it through a fan perspective whereas DTS allows you to get the driver’s perspective, but I do plan to finish this off…. eventually….

Netflix- Drive to Survive

Season 9, Episode 3 “Redemption”

The Las Vegas Grand Prix is back in town but it’s not all good fortunes for those driving. The biggest paddock secret is unveiled.

—

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

We see scrambled eggs on a frying pan. 

OFF SCREEN:  Daniel? Where is my jumper? The blue one? 

The camera zooms out from the eggs to see Daniel, wearing a light blue jumper, grimacing at the camera. 

DANIEL: (Under his breath) To be fair it was my jumper first.

The camera swings to Max in the doorway, arms crossed as he narrows his eyes at Daniel. 

MAX: I heard that. 

(In the garage, during the crash.)

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #1: Has anyone told Max? 

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #2: We’re not telling him.

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #3: Seriously? 

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #1: He thinks his husband is dead, we’re telling him!

INT. HOTEL ROOM

PRODUCER: Do you have some fears about allowing the world to know about your relationship? 

DANIEL: God, of course I have. We both have. But we spent so long being—not scared, but worried let’s say about the consequences of us just being together. But then Las Vegas happened and all I wanted was Max to sit by my bedside and make a stupid joke about me being in hospital again. And it was when Christian literally had to fight multiple people to get Max into that hospital I realised that what we were doing was unsustainable. 

PRODUCER: Unsustainable? 

DANIEL: Are you married? 

PRODUCER: Yes? 

DANIEL: Have you ever watched your partner crash into something at three hundred kilometres an hour and no one telling you if they were even alive? Because I’ve done that. We’ve done that. Multiple times. 

Montage of different Max & Daniel accidents. 

DANIEL: And then you have to go on with your day, going to debrief, doing press but all you really want to do is go to them and make sure that they’re even alive? 

PRODUCER: …

DANIEL: So yeah. Unsustainable. 

—

333 update account @/official333

📺 | Drive to Survive (Netflix) 

Daniel talking about his relationship with Max on and off the track: 

Q: Do you think it’s been challenging to balance out the relationship given your unique relationship with Max? 

Daniel: No, and I think people over dramatise the complexity of it all. I mean sure, it has been somewhat difficult, especially at the beginning but in the end it is just racing, you know? We’re both aware that we are something different from the other drivers, but I like that. Not many people get to do what they love with their partner right next to them, so I definitely take every race we do together for granted. 

476 replies 88 reposts 8,372 likes

CUT: Alternate ‘M’ reveal

WHY: I genuinely spent like half an hour thinking if fictional Max and Daniel would show Matilda, I had earlier drafts where they hide her face until I was like okay, this is fictional. Bad things do not exist in this universe, so it’s fine. Plus, Matilda is so cute I can’t hide her.

[Video: Daniel, standing in front of a door. 

DANIEL: I know a lot of you guys might have noticed that I’ve been dropping clues towards who this mysterious M is and it’s finally time to reveal who it is. 

He opens the door and pans the camera to Max. 

DANIEL: M stands for Max. Sorry to break the news, it’s not that exciting. Wait, who’s that? 

The camera pans further down to show Max holding a baby, she’s sleeping soundly in Max’s arm.

Photo: A baby. She’s wearing a light blue onesie, and her hand is wrapped around a mini honey badger soft toy.]

Liked by lucsalzar and others

danielricciardo Everybody meet Matilda. Matilda, this is everybody. 

View all 5,638 comments

georgerussell63 They learnt what hard launching is and said we’re going to do it for everything… Congrats 🙌 

landonorris be prepared for the onslaught of driver themed onesies coming your way… 

1 March

CUT: The half-completed TIME article about Daniel

WHY: I did not have it in me to write another 1000 word article. I spent around a week just writing Daniel’s The Players’ Tribune article. But what I did write, I did like. Was also around the time TIME named Taylor Swift as their person of the year, so that’s where I got that inspiration. 

How 2025 was the year of the Honey Badger—Daniel Ricciardo on winning his first Formula 1 Championship during a historic year.

by Tylda Rune-Liberi for TIME

February 15, 2026 9:33AM EST

It’s 2017 and F1 driver Daniel Ricciardo was asked in a press conference what race he would like the new owners of F1 to host. His answer? Las Vegas. In 2023, five years on, his wish was granted. Two years later, in 2025, the race he had proclaimed as a dream race would turn into stuff of nightmares. 

Leading the race and looking like he would take a first win at Las Vegas after a podium in 2023, it looked like everything was going Ricciardo’s way until a bizarre accident with Kick Stake Sauber’s Theo Pourchaire causes a major accident, leaving Ricciardo wedged in the cockpit for over half an hour. 

Pourchaire had given way to Ricciardo as he was being lapped, before attempting to unlap himself, choosing the wrong moment as Ricciardo was heading into the pitlane. Radios released after the accident have Pourchaire admit he “didn’t think he was going into the pit lane.”

It’s a horrifying crash to watch—even with the knowledge that both drivers would be okay, and it would soon be clear that no one felt it more in the pitlane than Ricciardo’s own teammate: Max Verstappen. 

Formula 1 drivers all drive with the knowledge that a crash could happen at any given moment, but this accident was different. 

[Photo: Daniel, in a dark navy denim blue overshirt and jeans.]

Ricciardo and Verstappen have had a long and varied partnership throughout their career, first starting in 2016 where Verstappen was brought up mid season from then-Red Bull junior team Toro Rosso (now Visa Cash App RB), winning his debut race with the team, where it looked like the win would go to Ricciardo instead. They would go on to be teammates for another two seasons, before Ricciardo announced a shocking move to Renault (now Alpine). 

One thing that stood out about their initial partnership was how their off track friendship never seemed to waver, even in their most turbulent of times (see Hungary 2017 or Azerbaijan 2018). In an era where friendships between teammates seemed to famously end in failure, in the likes of fan dubbed ‘Brocedes’ (Nico Rosberg & Lewis Hamilton; best friends growing up who’s friendship ended in rivalry fighting for a championship) or former Red Bull teammates Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber (Multi-21 Seb?), it was an outlier that the two remained such good friends, even after Ricciardo had departed Red Bull. 

Even Ricciardo mentions that Lewis Hamilton had gone up to him to ask how Verstappen and Ricciardo had managed to keep their friendship going even though they had tussles on track. “I don’t really know,” Ricciardo says. “I mean it’s definitely all in hindsight now, but I think it was because we—or at least I—knew that our friendship was really important. Like it was no matter what happens I don’t go and screw up this friendship I have with Max.”

Ricciardo would go through a bumpy time in his post-Red Bull career, going through two seasons at Renault, two seasons at McLaren before a 6 month break where he was named ‘Third Driver’ for Red Bull, a 6 month stint in Red Bull sister team AlphaTauri (formerly Toro Rosso, now Visa Cash App RB) which was marked with Ricciardo missing 5 races due to a hand injury during a free practice session in Zandvoort before returning back to the very seat he left six years earlier, Red Bull announcing Ricciardo’s return at the 2023 Las Vegas race. 

A move that was then deemed as a surprise move by many pundits, all was put to rest when Riccardo finessed his AlphaTauri in the podium position, grabbing the team 3rd place and their first podium since Pierre Gasly in 2021. 

Something was different about this second stint, and it wasn’t the journeys they’ve both gone on since they both parted ways. There was something different about them together. 

[Photo: Max and Daniel laughing in the Red Bull garage.]

Nine years on since their first race together, it was oddly reminiscent of their first. Verstappen crossed the line to win a race his teammate had been poised to do so. Only this time, the celebrations were much different. 

With Ricciardo in hospital, Verstappen quickly left the race track after a tuned down podium ceremony, skipping out on mandatory post-race media duties, where competitors and team can attract fines for doing so. (The FIA opted not to fine Verstappen and Red Bull in this instance.) 

Even during the red flag it was clearly Verstappen was antsy, with his radio calls after finding out his teammate was in an accident conveying his state of worry. Leaked video from inside the Red Bull garage has Verstappen mention not finishing the race, wanting to be by Ricciardo’s side instead. 

///

“I remember I posted the post and people were like ‘Oh, maybe he meant it in a friendly way’ and I was like f***, I’ve got to actually spell it out for them.” Hence, the iconic post that broke the F1 world was born. 

[Daniel’s tweet.] 

It’s 2020, and the Australian Grand Prix has just been cancelled due to COVID. 

All the drivers and teams are left scrambling to try and leave the country before the borders close, and Daniel Ricciardo has just invited Max Verstappen to stay over at his house in Perth. 

“I don’t think I can even call it a friendly gesture, because as much as I like the other guys on the grid, there’s no way I would’ve invited them over.”

///

“Yeah, I won a championship. But I’m still the same person.”

Ricciardo’s often been somewhat of an open book, he says—whether it was for the better or for the worse. Every aspect of his life has been so highly publicised, from winning races to what it looks like when he’s not, it’s remarkable how he still holds nearly the same candour, even if his name and career has seemingly been dragged through the mud a thousand times over by the media. 

Last year he publicly came out in a F1-related podcast, to what he says was very unplanned. “I didn’t plan to come out, let’s say, it just kind of happened. 

“I didn’t even plan to come out, let's say, it just kind of happened? I was recording a podcast and I was talking about 2022 and how it unfolded, the support systems around me and I said “my partner”, and a part of me went Oh, shit! I hadn’t talked about my relationships at length before that, and I knew people were going to absolutely run with it and then I was like—well, might as well just go the whole nine yards, so then the second reference to my partner I very deliberately dropped in he. And that was it.”

“I remember so vividly, I went home that night and I told Max, oh I think I did something stupid and his mind immediately went to me accidentally leaking like team secrets or something big like that, and I was like no, I may have accidentally came out and within like three seconds you could see is brain just switch. 

“There is no we found the elephant in the room or whatever. The elephant has always been in the room and it’s just decided to make its presence known.”

“Look, I definitely understand some of the criticism that some people may have with F1 or Red Bull or us capitalising on our relationship or whatever, but I think now more than ever there’s a need to perhaps know who the drivers are when they aren’t driving.” Ricciardo adds. 

“Because it’s all fine and good if John Smith is winning races and driving amazingly, but if you know next to nothing about the person because it seems like they’re packed up and shipped race to race, you’re not going to root for the guy because they’ve made no connection.”

Ricciardo quickly clarifies that it’s not a negative for sports people or celebrities to maintain their personal lives, but he sees it more as a way to express or show what he wants to show in his own lives. “We spent nearly five years it near complete secrecy from the outside world and whilst I’m not saying that we should’ve just been public right from the start—we probably wouldn’t have survived—I was just wanting to post a photo of Max burning dinner or something and not have gossip magazines or Instagram accounts dissect every pixel of it.”

Did Ricciardo get pushback from the FIA or his team? It’s a difficult question to answer, he tells me. NDAs and whatnot. He says, “The team was wonderful about it, though. Had multiple team members come up to us willingly to fight the higher powers if needed which was very sweet.”

“Let’s just say there were conversations that I had been made aware of that had made me feel like we weren’t even allowed to look at each other when we were in the paddock. I felt like they were asking me to only refer to him as my teammate, stuff along those lines.”

///

“One of our friends told us at our wedding something along the lines of for F1 drivers, you did move pretty fucking slow in your relationship! And Max was like yeah, did you know who we were in 2018?” Ricciardo laughs loudly, scaring one of the cats who seemed ready to take a nap. 

///

“I used to rely so much on what other people thought of me, it wasn’t enough that I thought I was the best guy out there, you also had to think I was the best guy out there.”

///

Racing has always been part of Ricciardo’s life, but he doesn’t want it to be the only thing now in his life. He wants you to ask about things not related to racing, like how much he loves his family or how he thinks the Buffalo Bills are the greatest NFL team on earth. 

“I’m not going to do this forever, you know?” He says, finishing the can of Red Bull he’d been slowly sipping throughout the course of this piece. “I hope when I look back at these years of my life I’m going to be equally proud of what I did in the car and what I did outside of it.” — With reporting done by Tylda Rune-Liberi and Nicolas St. Revelate. 

CUT: Max and the team getting called up to the FIA

WHY: The FIA seems like an organisation who might send me a cease and desist if I wrote them as quietly homophobic. I don’t have money for a lawsuit. Also wanted to keep the universe happy because the real one is not. Still think my Mad Mex reference is funny.

Autosport @/autosport

Breaking: Max Verstappen summoned to the stewards after allegedly breaking parc ferme rules. 

12 replies 90 reposts 821 likes

—

F1 - 2026 AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX - POST RACE PRESS CONFERENCE - TRANSCRIPT

23.3.26

Q: Sorry, Daniel just coming back to you now. We’ve just received word that Max Verstappen has just been summoned to the stewards for breaking parc fermé conditions, any reaction on that? 

Daniel RICCIARDO: For what? 

Q: Uh, we think it might be related to post race procedures around weighing. Not entirely sure yet, his meeting is at 6:15pm.

DR: Well there goes our dinner plans. To be fair our dinner plans were literally just Mad Mex in our hotel rooms before flying to Perth, but still. 

Jack DOOHAN: Mad what? 

DR: Mad Mex? You know, the Mexican fast food place. Surely you’ve had it. 

JD: Oh, I thought you said Mad Max and I was like, “He finished P4 that doesn’t seem too bad.”

DR: Did Max not do the weigh in or what? 

Q: He did, after your podium. Sorry mate, even more bad news for the team, they’ve been summoned to the stewards as well.

DR: If I find out I’m going to lose another podium about ten years on after the race here I’m gonna be pissed.

Q: This one is related to Article 26.13 b, where “Unless authorised by the FIA, no one under the age of 16 is permitted in the pit lane at the following times: b) The period commencing fifteen (15) minutes before the pit exit is opened to allow cars to cover reconnaissance laps and the time when the last car enters the parc fermé after the sprint session or the race has ended.”

DR: What cause we had our daughter with us at the podium celebration? 

Q: Quite possibly, yeah. 

DR: That’s interesting. I—yeah, I’m just gonna say that’s interesting.

Oscar PIASTRI: Kevin had his kids with him in Monza twenty four, didn’t he? 

DR: Yeah, I’m sure the team will have a lot to say so we’ll just leave it at that. 

CUT: Reaction to Australia winning

WHY: Timeline changes. Original timeline was Australia 2026 being their first race back after Las Vegas and relationship/kid reveal. I apparently also cut the all Australian podium. Can't remember why.

[Photo 1: 

Photo 2: 

Photo 3: 

Photo 4: Lucinda holding the constructor trophy on the podium, Daniel giving a big grin next to her.]

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danielricciardo Never thought I’d be able to share a podium with two other Aussies but what better time than at our home race. @/jackdoohan @/oscarpiastri @/redbullracing 🇦🇺❤️

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ausgp Surely this gets us a public holiday?! @/auspm 

oscarpiastri We’re about to get even more annoying… 

—

Oracle Red Bull Racing @/redbullracing 

Don’t mind us, we’re just in a puddle of tears over how cute @/Max33Verstappen and @/danielricciardo are 😍😭🫶

[Video: Taken from behind the parc ferme barriers, Daniel holding Matilda as Max hugs him, one hand around his waist and the other around the back of his neck.]

—

jeanie 🤠 @/COTADANIEL

flabbergasted about how well max and daniel hid their relationship from the world because man that he looks at daniel like he hung the moon stars and the sun and we’ve just been blind to notice

jake @/381racers

Maxiel admin logged on today thank you universe 🙏

—

DANIEL: Yeah, I just didn’t think I was able to have this, you know? If you had told me like seven years ago that hey, “You’ll be winning again and Max and your kid will be right along with you”, I would’ve laughed in your face. There is still absolutely more work to do, but I’m just glad I get to have my little moment without like some of these outside factors screaming and kicking at us. 

CUT: Jake @/381racers meeting Daniel

WHY: Felt too indulgent. Loved it, but I think the idea pushed the boundaries/fourth wall maybe A Little too much, even for my low standards.

jake @/381racers

Only felt right that I get this signed 

[Photo: Jake’s infamous tweet “Max Verstappen can you fight?” printed out and framed. Max has signed it and wrote “Yes he can.”]

—

jake @/381racers

First photo really Daniel did you have to shame me further . I thought we had a promise. Anyways, here's the video of me meeting them.

[Video: Jake meeting Daniel, in Red Bull hospitality. They’re both sitting down in chairs, and Jake has his hands on top of a frame placed face down on the table. 

JAKE: Do you remember like two years ago in COTA you wore a leather jacket outfit and basically the internet blew up because of how good you looked? 

DANIEL: Yeah, with the cowboy hat and everything! 

JAKE: And there was a tweet that trended on that weekend—

Daniel sits up in his chair, eyes widening in realisation of who Jake is. 

DANIEL: Oh my god you’re “Max Verstappen can you fight?” guy?!

JAKE: Embarrassingly, yes. 

DANIEL: (offscreen) How did you find him?! 

OFFSCREEN: Remember when I said I was going to bring my boyfriend this race? 

Daniel looks back and forth behind the person offscreen and Jake multiple times before bending over and laughing hysterically. 

OFFSCREEN: Yeah, I’m not happy about it either. 

DANIEL: Oh my god did I like cause you two to meet? 

jake @/381racers

No I too am not happy about my internet history coming back to bite me 

CUT: Interview with Lawrence Baretto

WHY: I ran out of time. I had planned to post this at the end of Jan, but since I didn’t post that NYD bonus fic, I didn’t wanna go a month without an update so this got culled. Also my vague illusions to Max’s dad felt a little weird.

Exclusive: Daniel Ricciardo on retirement, 15 years of F1 and family with Lawerence Barretto

When I ask about his daughter and if they have any interest in making her follow in her parents footsteps, he shuts down my line of questioning pretty quickly. 

“No,” he immediately says. “I’m not going to write out a path for her to follow, or put expectations for her to go into karting because of a family legacy. I think Max knows it a little bit more than me, how the expectations of someone who’s meant to take care of you can tarnish the thing you love.” 

Jos Verstappen, Max’s father and former F1 driver hasn’t been seen in the paddock since 2023. Both declined to comment when asked. 

“If she wants to start karting, then we’ll probably have a very long conversation about how it’s important that she finds it fun and if she doesn’t then she doesn’t. It’s not important to me that she wins or whatever, I just want her to enjoy it.”

Chapter five: 2027

CUT: Drive to Survive script

WHY: I did not have the energy to write a full script, and I felt like there were too many events to write about and I could not do it justice. Also I would like idk if Max and Daniel would show Matilda on DTS which is crazy because Matilda is not real…

—

Drive to Survive

Season 10 Episode 10 “One final rodeo…”

After fifteen years in the sport, Formula 1 says goodbye to Daniel Ricciardo. 

[00:20:26]

INT. HOTEL ROOM INTERVIEW

PRODUCER:  We don’t have to talk about Las Vegas. 

DANIEL:  No, it's fine. Probably should. Uh—yeah. 

PRODUCER:  We can take a minute. 

DANIEL:  Yeah, thanks. I didn’t talk about it last year did I? 

PRODUCER:  No. Okay, we’ll cut. 

CUT TO BLACK. 

Sound of car crashing into wall, before it fades in to show the Red Bull in the pitlane wall. Cuts to people reacting—Red Bull employees, fans in the grandstands and then a birds eye aerial view of the crash, showing the medical and extraction crew. 

PIERRE HAMLIN (V.O): Daniel, are you okay? 

Cuts to Max’s T-CAM footage, him driving past the car. 

MAX (V.O): What the fuck happened? 

PIERRE: Daniel, please just press the radio button so we know you’re okay. 

Cuts to Daniel’s T-CAM footage, his helmet leans against the left side of the halo, indicating he’s unmoving. 

PIERRE: Daniel, can you hear me? 

Cuts to showing the Red Bull pitwall, everyone looking at each other worried. 

DANIEL (V.O): The first thought I had was: Shit. This is really bad timing. Second thought I had was: Max is going to kill me.

Cuts to Daniel's forward facing cockpit onboard, him moving his head and looking up and down the cockpit.

PIERRE: Daniel?

DANIEL: Yep. Fuck. My chest, fuck. Shit, is um the other driver okay?

PIERRE: Yes, he's okay but don't worry about him. Do you think you can get out of the car?

DANIEL: Yeah no, I don't think that's happening with breaking something. Fuck, my ribs. Oh god. I think something's broken.

PIERRE: Okay Daniel, the medical team are nearly there but do not move if you think it will cause more damage. The car is safe, so do not worry about anything else.

DANIEL: Yep, okay. Um, will someone tell Max I'm okay? Just, don't freak him out yeah?

PIERRE: Copy Daniel, it will be okay, it will be okay. Just keep radio on please.

DANIEL: Okay. Fuck, this sucks.

INT. STUDIO

TEXT: Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing driver

MAX VERSTAPPEN: Been a while. 

PRODUCER: Didn’t think you were going to agree. 

MAX VERSTAPPEN: Would be a big thing if you made it look like we hated each other again! 

PRODUCER: We asked Daniel what his first thought was when he had that accident. He said “This is really bad timing” and that you were going to kill him. Why? 

MAX: Well, because of Matilda.

EXT. PORT HERCULES, MONACO— MORNING

 Long shot of Port Hercules, Monaco, filmed from a balcony. It’s peaceful, quiet—the city sounds filling the background before we hear a baby scream in joy. 

DANIEL: Matilda! 

Matilda is on the floor in the living room, on a playmat and she plays with wooden blocks. Max is next to her on the ground, with his back leant against the couch, Daniel is on the couch. 

DANIEL (V.O): Yeah, she’s one of the best things to happen to me. For a long time my whole life was just racing, but now she’s my whole life. Like it’s okay if I have a bad race or whatever, I’ve got to move on quickly because she’s there at home waiting.  

MAX: Having a kid does change you, I think. Daniel will not say his driving has changed, but it has. 

PRODUCER: In what way? 

MAX: I think now he is more focused on winning every race, not that he wasn’t before. But because maybe he knows that every race matters more now. You hope that the others around you will not be too reckless so that you can go home after the race. 

EXT. CIRCUIT OF THE AMERICAS — MIDDAY

TEXT ON SCREEN: 2025 UNITED STATES GRAND PRIX

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #1: Hey, welcome back Danny! 

DANIEL: Thank you, thank you. Hope you didn’t miss my handsome face too much. 

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #1: I didn’t know Jake went on holiday! 

DANIEL: I’m gonna crash the car just for that.

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #2: No, we’re just kidding. So how’s the baby? 

DANIEL: She’s great, do you wanna see a photo? 

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #1: Oh, she’s adorable. Matilda was her name? 

DANIEL: Yeah, yeah. We had a list but I think Matilda was the only one that stood out to us. She just looks like a Matilda you know? 

///

The camera swings to the right, as Daniel’s head sticks out from the door. 

DANIEL RICCIARDO: You aren’t talking shit about me, Maxy? 

MAX VERSTAPPEN: Of course I am. 

///

MAX: I have raced with Daniel in every single year of F1. I think it will be weird.

DANIEL RICCIARDO I think I was a pretty good darn car mechanic. 

CUT: Max’s interview with GQ

WHY: If you haven’t learnt by now, I am very lazy. Honestly, I just wanted this chapter out and I knew I didn’t have the time to write a whole article. Also I don’t think Max would be this open about this relationship but maybe Daniel made him more open in this universe. I still stand by the first sentence, it is possibly the truest thing to come out of the fic.

You can’t talk about Max Verstappen without eventually talking about Daniel Ricciardo, and you can’t talk about Daniel Ricciardo without eventually talking about Max Verstappen. This was a true statement in the earlier part of Verstappen’s career, but now perhaps even more so. “He’s made me a much better person,” Verstappen comments when I ask him about his husband. “I maybe wasn’t the best person to be teammates with when I was first in Formula 1, but he stayed friends with me. Even after he left and I was not being nice to him, he still stayed. That was very important to me.”

There’s a certain aura of happiness that comes from Verstappen when he starts talking about Ricciardo, and he says it’s probably one of the most documented love stories of F1. 

It started in the early morning after the final race of the 2018 season, and a drunk voicemail to Ricciardo kicked things off. “I was still mad that he was going, and I had too many gin and tonics and I called him at like 12 am or something. Obviously he didn’t answer because he was sleeping but I said really embarrassing stuff in that voicemail.” He left one more a couple hours later, asking Ricciardo not to mention it. 

“He really took that to heart.” Verstappen laughs. “I don’t really know why, we would talk when we saw each other on race weekends and pretend that everything was fine between us.” 

They were seemingly friends only when it was the race weekend, but off track they had never been further apart. There was a lot of resentment and unsaid conversation from Verstappen’s side, self proclaiming that his stubbornness had put a pin in their relationship. “It’s easy to say now looking back, but I thought Daniel leaving Red Bull was also leaving me. And I didn’t take it well.”

But a little bit of push and shove from his fellow friends made him realise that having Ricciardo in his life was more important than whatever feelings he had towards him leaving. 

///

Verstappen proposed two years later in December 2022 at that same house. “Coordinates of the house and everything on the ring,” Ricciardo comments when he drops in to grab something from the office. “Cried like a baby when I realised.”

Deleted Epilogue:

WHY: I still can’t decide if Matilda would go down the F1 path. If she did, she is definitely a Ferrari driver. Just to mess with her dads. I think she would sign with Red Bull in the junior seasons, maybe do two seasons with Red Bull then switch to Ferrari. A Sebastian Vettel if you will…let’s hope it turns out better for her than him. 

[Photo 1: A Ferrari car crossing the chequered flag.

Photo 2: Matilda on the third step of the podium, holding the trophy in the air, the Australian flag wrapped around her shoulders.]

Photo 3: Matilda hugging her parents in parc ferme.]

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mvr one home race down 🇦🇺, one more to go 🇳🇱 😉

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scuderiaferrari 👏🎉

23 March

—

SKY SPORTS: 2048 AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX

David CROFT: And Matilda Verstappen-Ricciardo absolutely sends it down the inside and makes it stick, and what a move! Gosh, I was not expecting her to pull it off but she absolutely does and gets a roar of a cheer from the home crowd, Verstappen-Ricciardo is currently in P3. 

Jenson BUTTON: I mean, we should not be surprised. Daughter of Max Verstappen, a six time World Champion and Daniel Ricciardo, another World Champion. A lot of racing talent in that family, I thought the last of the late breakers was Daniel but she has really put a new meaning on late!

DC: And speaking of there is Max and Daniel Verstappen-Ricciardo, who I imagine are probably the most nervous parents in the paddock right now! A lovely nod and clap of encouragement as we watch the reaction of Matilda’s overtake for P3. 

—

matilda verstappen-ricciardo @/MVR 

if you’re wondering if it’s embarrassing to have your parents show up at work to congratulate you just wait till one of them interviews you in front of the tv…. thanks dad i’ve never felt so uncool before

138 replies 98 reposts 20,482 likes

—

POST RACE: PARC FERME INTERVIEW

Daniel RICCIARDO: Matilda! 

Matilda VERSTAPPEN-RICCIARDO: Oh my god, please be cool about this. 

DR: Just wait till I convince F1 to let me and Max double host it. 

MVR: This is actually my worst nightmare. Like maybe three other people will understand what I’m feeling right now. 

DR: 

///

MVR: I mean I’m not worried about a legacy, if people think I’m here to start or continue a legacy then they can think that, but I’m here to race. Not carry on whatever my parents did.