#i’m also like feeling just really hurt over something else that’s like related but not so it’s all kicking me this morning

[arklay]

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[ageofstarkey]

Hi! Could you write a Mattheo one, where it’s that time of the month, and you’re just really not feeling like facing the world.

poor thing ✰ m. riddle

summary: you’re on your period, and matthéo’s there to help you feel less awful.

pairing: bf!matthéo x reader

warnings: reader is implied to be afab, mentions of reader having their period, discussion of period-related symptoms, nothing else really???

note: hello!! thank you so much for the request!! i’m still trying to find my groove with writing, but i hope i did your prompt some justice :’) also pretend that boys can in fact enter the girls dorms in this universe lmfao

masterlist

comments & reblogs are so appreciated!

✰ ✰ ✰

“aren’t you getting up for potions?”

when you roll over, you see pansy watching you from the doorway. she’s dressed and ready for the day - book bag slung carefully across her body. she studies you with something akin to concern; awaiting your response with perfect, furrowed brows.

with a quiet sigh, you push yourself into a half-sitting position. “i don’t think so. i got my period last night and i feel absolutely horrid.”

“want me to tell riddle? i’m sure he’s looking for an excuse to skip anyway”

you roll your eyes fondly. “he’s already missed too many lessons this year - let him figure it out on his own time, yeah?”

pansy shrugs. “fine. hope you feel better.”

you groan, flopping none-too-gracefully back on your pillow. “me too.”

when pansy leaves, you take a few moments to savour the silence. it does little to ease the uncomfortable ache in your abdomen, but it’s quiet enough that you can almost pretend your head hasn’t been throbbing since the second you opened your eyes.

eventually, you snuggle back under your thick quilt, resigned to sleeping away your misery. it doesn’t take long for your fatigue to take over, pushing you steadily towards the edge of unconsciousness.

you’re nearly asleep, when you hear a sharp knock at the dormitory door. your brows tug downwards in confusion. with a quiet groan, you drag yourself out of bed. the floors are shockingly cold against your bare feet, and you curse quietly under your breath as you approach the door.

when you tug it open, you’re pleasantly surprised to see your boyfriends handsome face. although he should be in class, you can hardly fight the grin that tugs at your lips. “you are not supposed to be here.”

matthéo quirks an eyebrow, sporting a smirk you know all too well. “shall i see myself out then?”

you roll your eyes fondly. “no.”

“didn’t think so.” he lets himself in, kicking the door shut behind him. “do you wanna lay down?”

“merlin - more than anything.”

he tugs you gently towards him, pressing his lips against your forehead in a chaste kiss. “i figured as much.” he murmurs the words against your skin, punctuating them with another kiss. when he pulls away, he nudges you gently towards the bed. “how are you feeling?”

“awful.”

“cramps?” he shrugs off a few layers of clothing, before tugging back your quilt and laying on the bed.

with a gentle little tug, you’re falling into the empty space beside him. “my entire body just… aches.” with a defeated sigh, you drop your head on his chest.

matthéo hums softly, stroking a gentle hand up and down the length of your spine. “poor thing.”

“tell me about it.”

with a quiet little laugh, he tilts your head up towards his own. “do you think you’ll survive?”

“i really might not, théo. this might be it for me.”

matthéo rolls his eyes, but he wears a fond little smile that gives him away. “you’re ridiculous.”

“i am not!” your lips turn downwards in an involuntary pout. “it hurts.”

“i know, sweetheart.” he closes the small gap between you, kissing away your feeble little frown. “why don’t you try and get some rest, hm?”

“you’ll stay?”

he kisses you again - longer this time, and you swear you’re feeling better already. “‘m not going anywhere.”

[radioactive-mouse]

I get how tempting it is to just label flower husbands as “toxic” and move on, but god they can be SO much more nuanced than that, it makes me insane.

I think something that goes largely unexplored by the fanbase is c!scott’s obsession with composure. he’s clearly very proud of his ability to stay calm under pressure and be two steps ahead of everyone else— not that he’s afraid to rely on people, him and cleo very clearly have that unshakable trust between them, but i think that sometimes he gets so wrapped up in being steady, reliable scott, never hot-headed, never spiteful, or clumsy, or nervous.

and jimmy is a very real threat to that composure, more often than not.

and i think the way their relationship functions in 3rd life, while steady at the time, definitely set them up for complications down the road. scott, for as fiercely dedicated to his allies as he is, kind of tends to handle jimmy with kid gloves for the earlier parts of their relationship. he’s not very good at the death game, but that’s fine, he doesn’t need to be, scott will take care of it— he’ll get them set up with armor and potions and walls and jimmy can do… whatever it is he does when scott’s not around. mostly getting swindled, if he had to guess. but it’s fine, because scott can be steady, level headed, clever—

i do think most of scott’s ribbing about how he doesn’t know why he lets jimmy do anything when all he does is get scammed half the time is genuinely all in good fun, (jimmy is more than happy to play the fool most of the time, if only to bring a little bit of levity to things) it is super symptomatic of the way scott actually thinks about him. i don’t believe he thinks jimmy is actually stupid or anything, but i do think scott doesn’t quite trust him to get anything done. scott would never in a million years let himself lean on jimmy for any kind of support, because in scott’s mind jimmy’s job is to be bright and brash and only listen to that heart of his that’s too big for his body, too big for this game.

and i think too often we forget just how much losing jimmy destroyed scott in 3rd life. you ever think about how wrecked he must’ve been to place 10th despite being a consistent finalist in every other season? do you think about how all he has left is the burning, white-hot urge for revenge from the second jimmy’s body hit the ground?

i don’t think scott ever wants to feel like that again. i don’t think scott wants anyone to see him like that again. i think scott tries very hard to love jimmy from a safe distance where no one gets hurt. and i think that distance fucking kills jimmy, metaphorically speaking.

(also, tangentially related, i think there’s something to be said for how instantly tango goes “we only have a short time together, your curse will probably get us killed, and that’s fine.” and how jealous scott gets of that sentiment. as far as scott is concerned, tango and jimmy are of the same niche— they feel everything, loudly, even if it causes problems and even if it gets messy. and god that just makes his blood boil.)

i’m just so… entranced with the way scott carries himself with so much confidence and it’s not like he’s insecure, he really believes that, he’s a strong player and he knows that, but also revealing any emotion he deems to be “ugly” or “messy” makes him start to completely unravel. the driving force behind him is always love and loyalty and protectiveness over the people he cares about, but he’s juggling that with being dead set on never getting so close that losing them will completely ruin him.

anyway, this is getting away from me, but i think a lot of jimmy’s frustration with scott comes from the fact that he refuses to let their relationship go both ways, and i think by the time of the infamous “say i love you back” scene in limlife he’s just exhausted with throwing himself repeatedly against scott’s brick wall of perfectionism. that, and the whole Situation between them in double life, which i could honestly make it’s own post but good god i need to STOP typing or this will go on forever. forgive my completely disorganized ramblings i just have been trying to get all this down on paper FOREVER

[yorshie]

hi sweetheart!

how do you think the turtles would feel with a really petite reader? I mean, we are all small for them, but what if the reader is below average even by human standards like 5.0 f. t? will it bring something animalistic in them?

(I want to hear that reader will be carried on their hands 👏constantly👏 and treated like doll, I crave for that kind of comfort ty and sorry for my poor english 😭✋)

Whelp. I wanna start this by saying nonnie I’m so sorry, I plugged that height into a comparison generator with my head canons heights and I’m a little cursed by the image so someone else has to see it.

Like. Damn. I’d run from Donnie. Straight up yeeerrrrm like *thats a runner* probably run from raph too like. Yikes. Tiddie height to him is terrifying.

Literally everyone but Mikey is terrified that they’ll accidentally bump you and break something. They all get onto Mikey even more for swinging you around or grabbing you to toss up into the air.

Raph carries you anytime he can get away with it. In his mind, your legs are so short, they must get so tired, he’s really doing you a favor. Hope you don’t get too mad over being carried like the short stack you are, because he absolutely cannot get it through his thick skull that you would rather hurt your neck craning to look up at him than be carried

Leo so badly wants to teach you self defense, but he finds it so comical when you try to hit him while only coming up to his pec that he struggles to breathe. Yes he knows this is serious yes he’s trying but the poor turtle is also dying inside cut him some slack and maybe squish his cheeks when he dramatically leans over to talk to you.

Donnie sometimes feels like he should sit down when talking to you. He definitely has a spot in his lab that is your spot so he knows where you are at all times so he doesn’t accidentally hit you with his shell.

Cuddling them is super easy now at least. Normally they don’t even strain to lift someone but with you it’s more like they forget they’re holding you. They get hyper aware of where you are exactly in relation to them when it comes to turtle piles or relaxing no the couch though. It only took one almost squishing accident to bring them all on the same page of no rough housing when you’re around.

Mikey sometimes puts you on his shoulders while running around the lair, or scoops you up in his arms while doing parkour stunts just to get you to squeal in surprised delight/terror. It drives Leo up the wall.

They are all four hella protective, to the point that if you don’t catch on and tell them to stop, they’ll shadow you every time you head to/from the lair, if they can’t convince you to let one of them give you a lift.

If you told them you could “take care of yourself” I’m sorry but they are bro dudes they would straight up laugh like maybe Donnie would be self aware enough to try and hide it at first but if the other three break he’s gonna giggle too.

At the end of the day I just imagine it getting obnoxious like I’m pretty sure I’d kick them in the knees repeatedly, but as long as you like being treated like you’re fine china you’ll be heaven lol.

[thelovelyruin]

 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖘.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso has had a crush on you for oh so long.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, oral sex, praise, love, teasing, fingering, edging, (emotional choso lmao).

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 5.5K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from white roses by charli xcx.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoy it, if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Maybe my only light, don't you recognize you're the only one I want?

Choso knew for a while now that he was in love with liked you. How could he not? Not when you’re always sparkling in every room you walk in, and all he wanted was for you to be his firecracker. It didn’t go unnoticed that guys on campus practically throw themselves at you, acting like dogs whenever you wore a particularly short skirt or a tight top, he knew cause he was looking too. Unfortunately for him, you pretty much had him in the friend zone. To be fair, it’s not like he’s made a move yet, so how were you supposed to know? Well, that didn’t stop you from referring to him as a mutual friend while talking to other people. Now, the one person who did know he liked you was his brother, Yuuji.

“Dude, you better tell her before she gets a boyfriend, then you’re really gonna be hurt.”

“Shut the fuck up, Yuuji.”

“C’mon, you know I’m right.”

And he was. When Choso caught wind that you had a thing for Megumi, (which was debunked because he made Yuuji ask you and you told him no), he pretty much wanted to throw up. Not that Megumi was a bad guy or anything, he was your best friend after all, and Choso was just related to Yuuji, who was Megumi’s best friend. His proximity to you was short, while Megumi and you talked all the time. He started thinking about what it would be like to be that close to you, inhaling your scent, seeing your smile when he spoke to you, the way your chest moves up and down when you breath. Then, he realized that kinda made him sound like a fuckin’ weirdo, so he stopped.

Now, he was in hell a bus with a bunch of other people in your friend group, headed to the mountains for a ski trip. It’s not like he didn’t like your friends or anything like that, it’s more so jealousy that the only thing he’s ever been able to say to you is a measly, hey, when Yuuji introduced you to him. That and Megumi and Todo were arguing, about what, exactly? Women. Megumi expressed that he wasn’t picky, which was the catalyst for Todo telling him he has to take what he can get cause he’s so stand-offish. So, now they were going back and forth about Megumi’s ability to pull. And, it was giving Choso a damn headache.

“Hey there, Choso!”

Cold like ice, petrified, lovin' what you're doin' to me.

Choso nearly shit himself the second he turned to his left and you were sitting in the seat with him.

“Um, hey.”

He hated himself for how awkward he sounded. He was too worried about the fact that you never really talked to him, but that was his own fault really. All the times he’s gotten the opportunity to talk to you, walking around campus, parties, and he’s never taken the chance. So much so, Yuuji came to him and asked if he had something against you, which sparked the conversation where he told Yuuji he actually had feelings for you. Then came Yuuji’s antics.

“I know you’re chillin’ over here by yourself, but I wanted to come say hi!”

You looked around the bus, seeing the chaos running amuck.

“I’m sorry about them, Yuuji told me when there’s too much going on, it kinda bothers you, but I can totally get them to shut up, if you want.”

He was gonna fuckin’ kill him. Now, his mind was boggling. What else had Yuuji told you? Lord knows he couldn’t keep his damn mouth closed, for all he knew, Yuuji had went ahead and told you he likes you.

“He said that huh? What else?”

“He also told me that you’re a little shy, but you warm up once you get more comfortable! If there’s anything I can do to help you out, just let me know, kay?”

He was scorching at this point. Why the fuck would he tell you that? As much as Choso wanted to give Yuuji a piece of his mind, his brain wasn’t really working. Because now, he was able to get a good look at you. Pink tinted lip gloss that accentuated your already pretty lips, and that perfume you were wearing, you smelled like a piece of strawberry cake. And he wanted a damn slice.

“Do yo mind if I stay back here with you? I’d rather not go up there and hear them bicker.”

“Uh, um…sure.”

You were infectious. He could feel himself practically light up when you asked him that, you wanted to sit with him? He must be dreaming and he knew he was when he saw you begin to take off your jacket.

“Know it’s cold outside, but this jacket is just way too hot for this bus. Hold it for me?”

Choso obliged immediately, the jacket served as a cover for the tent growing in his pants. Of course today of all days, you wear a v-neck shirt, your tits practically spilling out the fabric and talking to him. If he was hearing things correctly, they were begging him to free them from their captivity. He quickly snapped out of it when you began resting your head on his shoulder.

“Gonna take a nap, kay?”

This was gonna be a long fuckin’ ride.

White roses in the snow, never let me go.

When you guys got to the lodge, Choso exhaled deeply, removing his headphones and preparing for a long day. He had wanted to take a nap on the bus, but all he could think about was your pretty little head on his shoulder, and how it might be the last time. So, he relished in the moment, sighing when you stirred awake. You turned and gave him a little smile, followed by a yawn as you reached for your jacket. Everyone began to walk out of the bus, you were shortly behind, but you forgot you left your purse in the front row of the bus. As Choso walked up behind you, you were about to panic.

“I can’t find my purse anywhere! Did I leave it somewhere else?”

You began to check under the seat, giving Choso a front row view of your ass, stretched out by your insulated leggings. You were driving him crazy. The drive up was already enough for him, but now your ass perked in the air? He was practically edging himself. He knew he probably shouldn’t be looking, but he was mesmerized as you shifted around looking for your-

“Looking for this?”

You jumped up, looking at Megumi holding up your bag. With the assumption that you’d probably forget it, he went ahead and grabbed it to meet you outside the bus.

“Ooo, thanks Megs! You know you could’ve told me you had it!”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry bout that.”

With that, you grabbed your bag from him and smiled, proceeding off the bus. Choso was stuck, still in awe, but as Megumi was walking off the bus, he shot him a menacing look. Had he caught Choso staring at your ass? Probably. Shit, was he gonna tell you? Choso panicked a bit but took a deep breath and took his exit off the bus. If Megumi was gonna tell you, he deserved it, he had no business looking at you like that. But fuck, was it hard.

Lyin' in your bed and movin' slow, takin' off our clothes, givin' you it all.

Everyone piled into the cabin, which was pretty damn nice for a vacation rental. Everyone had a room fortunately, and there was a hot tub out on the back patio. While the girls went to find their rooms, the guys stayed behind to help with bags. As Choso went to pick up his and a black suitcase that was closest to him, Yuuji intercepted him. With a wink, Yuuji handed him a bubblegum pink suitcase. 

“A gift, for you.”

Choso rolled his eyes at him and took the bag, still upset with him for the things he told you. Walking through the halls, he looked for your room, wondering if you were still walking around. When he couldn’t find you, he sat your suitcase down in the room at the end of the hallway, seemingly empty.

“Why thank you, kind sir!”

He turned to see you in the doorway, giving him one of those bright smiles. You looked around confused for a bit, like you were looking for something. Then, Megumi walked into the room with his bags, and of course, your makeup bag. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Megumi shot Choso a confused look that said what the fuck are you doing here?.

“Sorry Megs, this room is off the market!”

“Oh no, whatever will I do? I’ll go find another room, but here, you forgot your makeup case.”

“Awe, we can share the room you know!”

Choso cleared his throat, causing the two of you to look at him. Him and Megumi were both obviously taken aback by your offer, causing you to chuckle at them.

“Awe, I was just kidding, duh! Megs, if you sleep with me, people may get ideas. Promiscuous ideas.”

You gave him a smirk and laughed at his flustered reaction. Choso had to contain himself. You had blatantly friend-zoned Megumi, right in front of him. Then, there was the look of defeat on his face that made Choso nearly jump for joy. Not that he was praying on his downfall or anything, but seeing Megumi lose this little game made him pretty damn excited.

“That goes for you too, Choso! Things like that are how rumors start.”

Now, Choso felt like shit. And it didn’t help that Megumi was now smirking at him with a look that said welcome to the friend-zone, bitch. It’s not like Choso got the idea that he would be sleeping with you, but it didn’t feel very good that you dismissed the possibility altogether. Even more reason to carry on, there was no chance he was admitting his feelings to you now. After that, you kicked them both out, preparing for a day at the lodge.

All I need is you and me alone. Love is like a rose and baby, let it grow.

Once you guys were done at the slopes, it was evening time. Everyone had decided to cook for dinner. Much like a potluck, all of you made something with ingredients you brought from home. Nobara’s pasta salad was pretty good, and Inumaki’s onigiri wasn’t half-bad, but the best thing was your brownies. A little known fact about Choso is that he loves sweets. That’s why when he tried your brownies, he nearly scarfed the whole thing down. You got the perfect texture, rich and fluffy with a decadent chocolate. You noticed him eating one and walked over, a blush on your face.

“So, how do you like them?”

“They’re delicious.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, good job.”

You were beaming now, so proud of your baking. Choso felt really good, satisfied in the fact that he made you feel that way. Maybe he wasn’t always a fuck up.

“Hey, we’re about to do spin the bottle! You two playing?”

Maki had walked up to ask you, a slight look of annoyance on her face, it was obvious she wasn’t interested in playing, probably dragged into it by Nobara. But, that all changed when she saw the optimistic look on your face, her dread turning into a smile.

“Uh, duh! Sounds fun, you’re coming right, Choso?”

It’s not like he had much of a choice, because before you even finished your sentence, you were dragging him over to the living room. He didn’t really wanna play, but damn, he was happy you were touching him.

“So, we spin it and whoever you land on, you have to kiss. Sounds good? Okay great.”

Mai hadn’t given anyone a chance to answer the question, cause to be frank, she didn’t really care. All of you sat in a circle now, couch and chairs moved back to accommodate everyone’s seating arrangements. Choso sat next to Yuuta on the opposite side of the circle, while Yuuji sat between you and Megumi. At least Megumi wasn’t sitting next to you. Mai crawls over and spins the bottle first, landing on Todo.

“Hell no.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means hell no! I’m not kissing you.”

As her and Todo sent killer looks at each other, Yuuta went ahead and spun the bottle, landing on Maki, who was blushing like crazy. Everyone knew Yuuta had a thing for Maki, but it was a surprise when Maki kissed him back. After cheers and howls from the others, they sat back in their positions. You went up and spun next, Choso staring at the damn bottle like he had the powers to stop it. It landed on Megumi. Choso nearly lost his shit, I mean, was the damn universe against him? Yuuji raised his hand, a look of concern on his face. 

“Uh, Mai, I don’t think she wants to kiss her best friend, that would be kinda awkward.”

“Well, spin again.”

Yuuji, you fuckin’ saint. You give Megumi a playful pout, while he looked like someone’s sad puppy. Crawling up to spin again, Choso held his breath, mentally preparing for who it would land on next.

“Oh!”

He couldn’t fuckin’ believe it. The bottle had landed on him. You give him a sultry smile, crawling over to him and kissing him firmly on the lips. He nearly died in that moment, high on the adrenaline pumping through his body from the feeling of your lips on his. You pull away and smirk at him, crawling back to your position on the floor, earning some whistles and claps from the others.

“You know all you had to do was kiss him on the cheek, right?

“Yeah, but I wanted to make things exciting!”

Oh, Choso was excited alright. All the way down to his-

No one knows the secrets that you know. Come on, pull me close, lay me in the snow.

After playing a few more rounds, Yuuta and Maki got a bit tired, calling it a night. Yeah, right. At that point, someone got the idea it would be fun to go out to the hot tub, which you happily agreed to. Choso couldn’t be more uncomfortable. Sitting in the hot tub with Megumi and the others was the last thing he wanted to do, retreating to his room. That is, until there was a knock at his door.

“Choso, you’re coming out right? Where’s your trunks?”

Choso was about to die, and you were killing him slowly. When he looked at you, he didn’t expect you to be wearing such a revealing bikini, one of those with the triangle tops and thong bottoms. He nearly short circuited when he saw how pretty your tits sat in the cups, rubbing together a bit more due to your lean on the door. It didn’t help that you were fucking pouting again, giving him that look that said you weren’t gonna take no for an answer. And you looked really damn good in pink.

“Uh…yeah, sure.”

“Yay! Hurry up and get changed, I’ll wait out here for you!”

With that, you sat down on his bed, tits bouncing from the gravity shift. He could’ve sworn he was high, but damn it, he had to keep it together. He swiftly grabbed his trunks from his suitcase and went to the bathroom, closing the door shut behind him. For a moment there, he considered relieving himself before having to sit with you half-naked beside him, but there wasn’t enough time for that and it would also be really fucking wrong.

After putting on his trunks, he opened the bathroom door, you still waiting for him patiently. When you saw him, your eyes went wide. Choso was not the type to walk around shirtless, but he knew he couldn’t get into the water with a shirt on. It’s not like he was bad looking, just less built than someone like Todo, so in turn, he was convinced he was mildly unattractive. 

“Ooo, Choso, nice abs!”

Who was insecure? Not him, never. Your validation was all he needed to be in better spirits, loosening up a bit as you guided him through the house. Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi were already in the hot tub. Much to Megumi’s surprise, you were holding Choso’s hand as you walked out onto the patio, and Choso could swear he could see the smoke shooting out of Megumi’s ears. As you got into the hot tub, Choso took a seat next to you, clearly fighting the temptation to stare at your body again. Yuuji started talking about some thing that happened back at school, but he couldn’t pay attention at all, why? Because, thankfully, you were still holding his hand.

I know you can feel it.

You'll be mine every night, I'm tryin' to effortise you're the only one I want.

Everyone had long since gone to sleep, the clock showing 1 AM now. Choso had been tossing and turning all night, just couldn’t stop thinking about the day. It was the most he’d ever interacted with you, and it was making him nuts. The way you touched him, spoke to him. Respectfully, he was in love with you. Tensed, he decided to go out and relax on one of the chairs on the patio.

Hold me tight, Marlboro Light, lovin' what you're doin' to me.

He brought a cigarette to his mouth and lit it, inhaling the smoke like a breath of fresh air. Laying back, he put his arm behind his back, allowing himself to decompress.

“That’s a bad habit, ya know?”

You had come out on to the patio, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts that were practically underwear. He brought his hand to his face wiping down, preparing to fight his boner for the umpteenth time today. You walked past him, taking a seat on the chair next to him and taking the cigarette. To his surprise, you smoked it, inhaling softly and blowing out.

“Thought it was a ‘bad habit’?”

“A habit I never denied having.”

You put your lips around it again, Choso in a trance. He didn’t even care that your sticky lipgloss was staining the filter, all he could think about was how good they would look around his-

“So, you don’t talk much. Why’s that?

“Not really much to talk about.”

“Nonsense, there’s always something to talk about.”

The cigarette is finished now, Choso sitting it in the ashtray. You stood from your chair, walking to the door and waiting for him. He stood up too, noticing how cold it had gotten, following behind you into the living room, fireplace crackling with a light fire.

We're gonna melt down, gonna disappear into the sun.

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Like, about how we can finally warm up in here.”

You sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, patting the floor beside you, signaling Choso to sit with you. Like a fish to water, he came down and sat, looking between you and the fire.

“So, what are you studying?

“Um…Pre-Med. I wanna be a phlebotomist.”

“Like blood and stuff? How cryptic!”

You playfully jab him, talking for what seemed like forever on all sorts of topics, music, movies, memories. Every thing you said made him fall more in love with you. Your enthusiasm in the way you spoke about your interests, god, he wished you talked about him like that. Eventually he became more and more comfortable, relaxing a bit.

“So, wanna talk to you ‘bout somethin’.”

“What’s up?”

“A little birdie told me you were crushin’ on me, is that right?”

Yuuji was a dead man. Choso locked his jaw and stared down at the floor. This was it, this was the end. He knew damn well you were out of his league, he couldn’t even compare to the guys who approached you. Guys like him don’t pull girls like you, shit, at this point, he had something in common with Megumi. Unrequited love for you.

“Um…I…uh… yes.”

“Is that so?”

You looked him in his eyes now, getting a bit closer to him. He swears he’s gonna combust, your face is so close to his, god, if he had any balls he’d make a move on you right now. He nodded and sighed, ready for the influx of humiliation.

“Yeah, I like you. A lot, actually.”

“So, what are you gonna do about it?”

The fuck did you just say? He was hearing things, has to be. There was no way you were implying he make a move on you, but when you brought your hand over his and gave him that sultry look in your eyes, he knew exactly what you meant.

Gonna burn down together, like fire, we can't get enough.

“Fuck it.”

Choso slammed his lips on to yours, so high on life that he nearly comes undone at the feeling of your hand crawling behind his neck. You start to lean back onto the rug, Choso climbing on top of you, claiming your mouth as his as he begins biting your lower lip. And when that makes you moan softly, he swears he was gonna fucking lose it. He moves down to your neck now, kissing and sucking the skin there while your fingers run through his hair. Can’t help but leave hickies all over it, now that he’s got you, he wants everyone to know you’re his.

We're tied like white roses, you know we're never comin' undone.

As he comes down your neck, his lips find their way onto your chest, licking the skin of your breasts as his hand comes under your shirt to massage your tits. Isn’t it his lucky day? You’re not wearing a bra. Choso’s imagination runs wild for a second there, thinking there was a possibility you were braless because you intended to fuck him, but it was an incomplete thought as he brought your shirt over your head. Back on you immediately, he took a nipple into his mouth, tongue circling on the bud, obsessed with the light moans and whimpers he was pulling out of you. Sucking all over your chest, he was running on lust and adrenaline. Kissing his way down your stomach, making you arch your back a bit, he found his way down to your shorts, taking them down slowly as he kissed the skin around your pelvis. He hit the jackpot. You weren’t wearing any panties either, and to make it better, you spread your legs for him, your lower lips inviting him to indulge.

'Cause I wanna stay forever, I know that you're the only one, only one.

“Wait, what if someone sees us?”

Choso is a bit frustrated now, interrupting him sucking the skin of your thighs. He nearly told you he didn’t fucking care, but when he looked up at you, there was that damn pout again. Swiftly, he scooped you up as you scrambled to grab your clothes before anyone found them. Hoisting you over his shoulder, you giggle a bit as he carries you down the hall and into your room, ensuring no one could hear you from all the way down there. After closing the door and locking it, he sat you on the bed, laying you out and opening your thighs so he could continue is mission. That had you chuckling, which was interrupted by you moaning his name as he took your clit into his mouth. He was a man starved, exploring pandora’s box for the first time. The sweet, sweet treasure he’d been waiting so long for, you exceeded his expectations. He was dedicated, sucking the bud in and out of his mouth and massaging his tongue against it in a circular motion. God, did it feel good, your fingers were pulling at his hair, you could swear it was gonna rip out. But he didn’t care. You could’ve killed him right now, but your pussy was already killing him. Especially when you got wetter and wetter, which Choso decided he wanted to explore before the main event. With two fingers, he brought them into your pussy, feeling your walls stretch around them. He was self indulgent, pumping them in and out of you, curling his finger up to hit that spot that was obviously very effective. He’s heard you say his name over twenty times now, each time you say it his dick is aching more and more. You were being so good, arching your back as he took all you could give, making you feel things you’d never felt before. You’ve had your fair share of lays, but Choso was surely the best so far. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, whimpering as you rub your pussy on his lips. He was going crazy, his tongue working on its own at this point, fucking in and out of you as his thumb rubs your clit. And he wasn’t ashamed to moan as he ate you, he wanted you to know just how much he enjoyed it, how grateful he was. With one particularly hard suck, you came undone all over his lips. God, you were an angel, back arching off the bed as you pulled his hair, bringing him up to kiss you and kiss you he did. He was hungry now, continuing to finger you as you cracked from overstimulation.

“God, Choso, please.”

White roses in the snow, never let me go.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what you meant. That’s why he immediately went to work, stripping himself of his pijama pants and top, leaving just his boxers, which he was currently freeing his dick from. Now, Choso wasn’t the thickest guy around, but what he didn’t have in girth, he made up for in length. That’s why you looked in anticipation as he pumped his hands on it, taking some of your cum to saturate it before slipping inside of you. He’s died, thats it. He’s in fucking heaven. His brain can’t even comprehend the way you feel, almost upset with himself he hadn’t made a move on you sooner, knowing he could’ve been putting his dick inside you a long time ago. But none of that mattered now, not when he finally found himself all the way in.

Lyin' in your bed and movin' slow, takin' off our clothes, giving you it all.

Your moans, they were becoming too much. Choso wasn’t selfish, not at all, but the way you were sucking him in, he was tortured, waiting for you to adjust to his size. He was gonna do whatever he could to make this good for you. He didn’t even care about cumming himself, as long as you cum again, he’d be complete.

“You ready, baby?”

“Yes…please…fuck me.”

And with that, he let go. All resolve he had to not rush into things? Gone. Asking you to be his girl first? Gone. He was fucking you, here and now, and you were loving it. You bring your hands up to rub his back, pulling him in closer so you could kiss him, moaning into his mouth as he fucked you. God, you were addicting. He was doing anything he could to hear you say his name, singing him a lullaby that would be etched into his brain forever. All of a sudden, you bring your legs up to wrap around his back, locking him in place to fuck you deeper. That was Choso’s breaking point. He fucked you like he was insane, he swore you two would fall into the mattress. And you? You were so fucked out you were speaking what sounded like it was supposed to be his name. He brought his lips down to kiss you again, feeling the vibrations from your throat of you whimpering in pleasure.

“You like that baby?”

“Yes, Choso, so much.”

“You’re killing me.”

Choso had no thoughts, so focused on the way your pussy sucked him in and out, feeling like it was made for him. You were wrapping around him like a warm blanket, and he was addicted. He saw it when your lips parted to moan out louder, and as much as he loved the way you reacted to him drilling you, he had to bring his mouth up to your ear.

“You gotta be a little quieter, princess. Can’t have everyone hear how good you feel.”

He had gotten a bit cocky now, knowing he was about to make you cum again. It was so obvious, the staggering of your moans, your nails in his skin, your tits pressing against his chest from arching your back. Your whimpers sounded more like begging now and it was sending him over. He felt himself about to cum, but he had a mission to complete first. He brought his thumb up to rub your clit, making you squirm uncontrollably.

“Choso, I’m…I…”

“You gonna cum for me, baby?”

You couldn’t even answer, too busy focusing on every motion of his thumb, like watching every stroke of a paintbrush on a painting. Unfortunately for you, he needed that validation.

“Let me hear you, baby. Am I making this pussy feel good?”

“Yes, Choso, fuck!”

With that, he rubbed your clit even faster, bud sensitive from the second orgasm approaching.

“Wanna feel you cum for me, kay?”

Fuck, you were a good listener. In seconds, you came all over his dick, body jerking as you felt the ripples of your orgasm consume you. You swear you’ve never came that hard before, and Choso was reveling in it. The way your pussy was spasming around his dick, he couldn’t hold it much longer.

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside!”

All I need is you and me alone. Love is like a rose and baby, let it grow.

That was it. With another thrust, he spilled himself into you, heart and soul. God, was he in love with you, even more so that he unlocked a new part of you. His orgasm felt like an eternity like his body was giving him triumph after waiting so long to have you. And when it all came crashing down, he dropped beside you and laid on the bed. It was instinct, wrapping his arm around you to lay on his chest, panting from the fatigue settling in after fucking you the way he did. 

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes, Choso instead running his hand over your side, eyelids getting heavy. You shuffle a bit, turning you body to rest on your arms, looking up into his eyes. He was preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. What if you only wanted to fuck him? To be fair, you never told him you liked him back, and when he realized that, he felt himself go back to his typical nervous state.

“So… did you like it?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Good, um, glad I could make you feel good.”

You give him a confused look, like you were expecting him to say something else. He shook a bit, intimidated at the way you stared at him. The result? Word vomit.

“Look, I don’t know if you, uh, like me…you know like-”

“I do. Have for a while now.”

His heart skipped a beat, stomach doing backflips. He couldn’t believe it, he must be dreaming.

“You, uh, what, I-”

“Surprised you didn’t know. Everyone else does, even Megs. Sadly for him, I’m crushin’ on you. I mean, why else would I agree to kiss you? Or hold hands with you? Or not say anything when you shamelessly stare at my tits?”

You had a damn point. He felt stupid now, again, wishing he would’ve said something sooner.

“Can…um, do you…shit, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

No one knows the secrets that you know. So come on, pull me close, lay me in the snow.

The next morning, Choso wakes up before you. You were like an angel, sleeping and breathing softly under the sheets, still laying on his chest. Begrudgingly, he pulled off of you, needing to piss and have a smoke. When he finished in the bathroom, you were still sleeping, and the last thing he wanted to do was interrupt. So, he quietly put his clothes back on, walked out the room, closing your door softly. He walked down to his room and jumped at the sight of Yuuji at his door.

“Choso, you motherfucker, didn’t think you had it in you!”

I know you can feel it.

♱ the song used in this story is white roses by charli xcx. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[stararch4ngelqueen]

Hi!!! Huge fan and I hope you had a good day in your part of the world💗💗💗

I was just reading ur period comfort fic with jay and was absolutely inspired with this idea for an (unequivocally self-indulgent) new fic:

what if reader has intense pain on their period (like can’t stand, can barely move, everything hurts/aches etc.) and goes nonverbal when the pain gets too much BUTT reader and jay had an argument before he went on patrol and so reader feels like they can’t call him because he’s still mad at them so reader just sticks it out miserably by themselves. only until jay asks oracle to check on your vitals (because he’s a cute little worry wart and still cares a lot🥰) and sees that you’re heart rate and breath rates are wildly irregular and he rushes home (fuck batman he can finish the job himself HIS BABY IS #1) and sees you bundled up in the covers curled in a ball crying. comfort, apologies, and making up and caretaking ensues!!!

i’m so sorry if this makes no sense or it isn’t something you’re comfortable with (your comfort is #1 bestie)!!!! Also, feel free to modify in any way!!!

SENDING KISSES AND LOVE💅🏾❤️

It makes good sense!! I have no problem writing this ✨

I hope yours is going good as well! It’s a very under weather day for me, so I apologize if this isn’t what you were expecting! ❤️

—

Time written - 1:27 a.m

Tags: Period. Slightly broody Jason. Special guest star menstruation crustacean.

Part 1 in reference

—

Being miserable chased you around like a damn disease today, doing lots of more harm than good.

The kind of pain that left you breathless. An agony so severe you find yourself apologizing to any God that listened, mentally screaming at your body to give you a damn break. It was a miracle how you managed to make it from the kitchen towards your bed, forgetting to get your charging phone from the couch.

Sure, you had your watch. Yes, you had a device nestled in your end table drawer used for emergency calls. Wayne-Tech, Batman related stuff.

You didn’t use it. Either you didn’t have the strength, or too hot-headed, you didn’t reach for a button.

You believed it wasn’t going to be as bad. The cramps you’d get about a week prior before you start weren’t as painful this time. This morning had such high hopes, such high promises for a good day.

It was too early to think too highly about it.

Your body believed it would be funny to fool you, forcing you into this pathetic, crippling state shortly around ten. Rarely would you start at night.

You would’ve thought the blame belonged to someone else, anyone else other than what you experienced now. It felt like your insides were being torn apart by devilish hands, nearly making you ponder the urge to scratch against your own abdomen.

The room was normally cool, but your body was terribly hot. A peculiar shiver brushing down your spine, your susceptible body curled up in a pitiful ball along the mattress.

The house was quiet and empty, save for your choked gasps as you son through this horrible pain. You craved comfort, more comfort than any warm blanket could provide.

The biggest comfort you quietly desired more than ever wasn’t here. It was a miracle that the front door still clung to it’s screwed up hinges after being recklessly slammed shut.

You two argued over cereal, over which take out to get from what restaurant, over celebrity crushes. His side eyes were as dangerous as his criminal bloodlust, but they were always done out of amusing intent.

This time was different. You couldn’t remember when it started, recalling when it ended was now a painfully dulled blur in the back of your head. The argument was nearly verbally severe, with enough yelling to rouse the worry of your neighbors. If they even cared.

No one really does in Gotham these days.

You lay in your pitiful slump in bed for what felt like hours. In your distress, you weren’t aware of your charging phone going off in the living room. Your screen bombarded with texts and still ringing phone calls.

One of Jason’s few reliefs he had was through a distasteful crook on patrols, as violence was a great distraction. On such a slow start, Red Hood was left stalking with his own thoughts, dealing with his temper all alone in the night’s silence.

Just because he was stubborn now, doesn’t mean that he didn’t have his moments of clarity once he caught a break. He sent you a reluctant, one worded sent text at first before rushing on. He couldn’t help but shake off this suspenseful feeling though, like a tense dissatisfaction on his tongue. Was it guilt? Was it shame?

Did he feel sorry for what he basically caused? Did he at least wanna attempt to own up to it?

After ten minutes, he sent another text. Again, he sends another after seven minutes, then another around three. You weren’t answering them at all, which was a little surprising. You believed you held a distasteful quirk about answering texts too fast, which was what Jason adored about you, responding to him in under five minutes. Or ten at most if you were busy.

It always let him know you were never bored of him.

This only made that suspenseful ball in his gut grow a little heavier, so he started to call.

After about three calls, still you didn’t answer. Now that hall grew hotter and hotter.

It makes the most obvious sense that you were still angry at him, but the least you could’ve done was pick up the phone and cussed him out before abruptly hanging up. Or at the very least send his calls to voicemail after a ring or two, but that wasn’t the case,

The longer he stared at his rumbling phone screen, the worse his anxiety began to grow. Soon enough, he couldn’t take it anymore.

The Bats had an auspicious way of knowing if him or anyone else didn’t keep up their patrol routine. Jason put off this thought many times, giving less of a fuck now as he rushed home.

“Where the hell is your phone??” Came his booming question once he enters the bedroom, noticeably breathing a bit heavy from his rushed pace.

Upon your failure to answer in your trembling state, cowering under your blankets, you hear his heavy boots quickly approach the side of the bed. Opening your teary eyes, you see two milky mask sockets staring you down, still clutching his own phone in hand.

Jason would’ve questioned you over how many times he’s had to call, over how many texts he sent. He could’ve, but he didn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice changed from roughly arrogant to gentle softness while pulling off his mask, relieving you of that annoying heavy breathing behind the barrier.

Because everything fucking hurts, asshole.

If you were still angry at him, it would’ve been a shouting match all over again. No, all that’s left now is physical and mental pain.

Without another word, he rummages through both your drawers looking for something. Cursing when he couldn’t find it, he turns towards the closet, reaching up ahead on the top shelves until he found what he was looking for.

He leaves the room, making your sensitive mind wonder if he had the gall to up and leave again. Especially knowing the debilitating state you were in.

Beep. Beep. Beep. The faint chime of the microwave echoed from the kitchen.

You wondered wrong.

Jason returns, pulling the blanket back just enough to expose your torso. Pulling up your shirt just enough, he proceeds to apply a warm, heavenly weighted plush stuffy along your tummy.

A chorus of euphoria washes of your tense body, your unknowingly clenched jaw finally relaxing. You whimper out in temporary relief at this beautiful sensation, the application of warmth promising a slow, eventual comfort that would easy your agonizing pain.

“When did you start?” He asks, but you don’t answer. More like you can’t, really.

“Can’t talk, huh?” His forehead slowly settles along your temple, exhaling through his nose. Pure blooded guilt mixed with cold hard sympathy in his system, making his heart beat heavily as he fully considers your pain.

“God, don’t pull an idiot move babe,” he murmurs against your cheek, his forehead settling along your head.

“That’s my job. You were right about that.”

You were stubborn, but not that hurtful towards the man you love. Unless he did something where it was really necessary.

Jason remained by your side until you were comfortable enough to sit up, never minding having to warm up the heating pad one more time. He doesn’t say much after his last words as he brings you a calorie rich snack and some pain medication, sitting idly by while opening a water bottle for you.

He gets you to a hot shower after the painkillers slowly prove they’re kicking in.

Fresh clothes were piled on the bathroom counter for you after the seething hot shower, consisting of one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts you didn’t care much for.

Dinner, or an incredibly early breakfast, was one of your favorite cup noodles. Quick, hot and easy, so you could take a strong sleep medication and rest this horrible night away.

Jason by now was unbearably silent, too silent. Occasionally, he asked if you were okay or if the cup was too hot to hold while you slurped your noodles. Red Hood became a quiet, doting dog, keeping behind you as you shuffle to bed, still dressed in his gear.

It was only after you were settled back into bed in your much better state did Jason decide to finally relax, comfortable enough to take off his gear.

You were left watching as he turned around, pulling off his taunt, black shirt he wore under all that armor nearly every night. A faint hiss pushes through his nose as the fabric tugs on his freshly bandaged gash, just shy from his right shoulder blade.

“I didn’t mean it,” you exhale, tears dribbling over the bridge of your nose. “You’re not stupid, Jason. I didn’t mean it.”

He still keeps quiet, his head slightly turning as he acknowledges the pain you were still in. He doesn’t blame you for your anger, it just makes him feel more stupid for being mad at you.

He kept getting hurt, and you always took care of him. Sometimes, he kept getting hurt too much. You couldn’t help getting more and more worried for his safety while he chooses to shrug off the pain.

Now here he stood, with a wounded shoulder, wounded pride and a trembling girl needing his support now more than ever.

“Wouldn’t blame you if you did, sweetheart.” Jason sighs after crawling into bed beside you, making sure you remained ownership of all thick blankets.

“I’m sorry,” Jason whispers, peering down at you with sympathetic eyes. “I’ll try to be more careful.”

Your heart nearly melts then and there, a lingering stress vanishing from your mind for now. That’s all you asked for out of the entire argument from earlier. You knew his job was dangerous, but all you asked out of him was to be more cautious about his surroundings, to not be as reckless.

You could only help bandage and kiss his wounds so much. You never minded, but him coming home with at least three harsh gashes from possibly infectious blades put a toll on your hormonal stability.

“That’s all I wanted,” you gently say in return, accompanied with a soft sniffle.

Jason smiles before scooting just a little closer, proceeding to hold you with his good arm. A content cloud of warmth invaded your area, keeping you feeling calm and satisfied as your tired eyes mindlessly trail along his silvery autopsy scar.

“You can forgive me later,” He muffles against your cheek, lacing your skin with various gentle kisses. “Get some sleep, Hood’s gotcha now.”

You close your eyes, hiding the dramatic roll that proceeded shortly after.

“Also,” he piques in his murmur, a hint of cheekiness invading his tone of voice. “Kinda know of other ways to help with the pain.”

“Jason.” You groan with a light grimace.

He smirks a bit, only growing from the faint crinkle in your eyes and refrained smile. Just the reaction he wanted.

—

Had to throw this in 🦀

[softxsuki]

Urgent req!

I've been breaking down lately because of the urge to cvt myself . Those breakdowns usually end up with me hitting and punching myself or my walls. I've been clean for idk how long yet but was wondering if you could do a fic with Mikey and Drake related to it. Thanks !

Love your gifs btw:))

Mikey and Draken (Separate) Comfort Reader Who Has A Breakdown

Pairings: Mikey x Gn!Reader, Draken x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, bloody knuckles, punching walls, punching yourself

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 480

Summary: In which Mikey and Draken comfort you after seeing you breakdown

[A/N: Sorry for writing this so late, October was such a busy month for me. The Holiday season is so hectic BJFEA. I'm also struggling with writers block which is probably evident in my writing, but if you're still around, I hope this helps a bit :)]

Mikey:

Mikey knows first hand what it feels like to be in a bad place mentally

After all he’s lost so many precious people in his life, leaving him feeling empty

Until he met you, you were his second chance at life, and he really would do anything to keep you safe

He knows about your history with self harm and was very worried at first, scared that you’d do it again and leave him just like everyone else

But he saw how well you were doing and was proud of how far you’d come being clean

Though when you fall into those urges again, leading you to breakdown, he’s by your side

Bloody knuckles and bruises on your own body have him beyond scared, but he tries to stay calm to be he there for you

“Hit me instead if you feel that way, please. I don’t want to see you hurt, especially about something that I have no control over. Just take it out on me, I can handle it”

He’s desperate to take the inner turmoil away from you, he’d face it all if it meant you could feel better

Becomes extra clingy in the next few days until those urges cease, but just let him do his thing, he’s worried he’ll lose you, Mikey will be back to normal eventually 

Everything he does, despite how suffocating it may feel at first, comes from a place of love and care for you, he’d do anything, and I mean anything to help you feel better, just tell him how he can help

Draken:

Draken catches you mid-wall punch and grabs your wrist to stop you from hitting the wall any longer, a pained expression on his face at the state of your knuckles

“That’s not how we deal with things,” He says stoically, millions of thoughts going through his mind, picking through what would be the best thing to say to you now

When it comes to you, he’s hesitant with his words even though he’s usually great with his advice, he’s scared he’ll say the wrong thing when it comes to you so he doesn’t verbally express himself often

Instead he sticks to silently wrapping up your wounds, eyebrows furrowed in concentration–he’s not mad at you, just concerned and wondering how he can help

He knows about your past and considering your actions, he assumes you’re probably struggling again, so he just hugs you

“Don’t struggle alone, come to me first before acting on your own like this, please”

He keeps an eye on you and tries to bring you around with him whenever he has to go out, in an attempt to distract you until he can help you get rid of those urges

Draken manages to stay calm and collected though which is very helpful, so I’m sure you’d feel comfortable coming to him about anything after that

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :)

Posted: 11/5/2023

[thatsexcpisces]

Astrology observations pt. 8

🔅Disclaimer🔅: these are just my personal observations and things I���ve noticed and encountered, I’m not a professional astrologer!!

🧡Pluto/Mars-mercury people are likely to struggle with intrusive thoughts that could mostly be related to violence and inappropriate things done to others

🧡I feel like many Scorpio suns have a theme of “death” that stays in their life.

for example Scorpios in general may have lost a parent at a young age or suffer with the loss of family members. They may have lost a parent or even both during their teenage years due to an illness or lose people who are close to them.

🧡People with harsh mercury-ASC aspects or Virgo risings in harsh aspects can come off as “know-it-alls” or “well actually...” people

🧡Libra risings May have an obsession when it comes to collecting beauty products/self-care products or any expensive/fancy items and accessories. This is because taurus, a Venusian sign associated with luxury and indulgence, rules their 8th house of obsessive focuses and vice versa, they have Scorpio in their second house, amplifying the energy of having an attachment to material items.

🧡Aquarius moons have a closer/better relationship with their father than their mother

🧡Whenever you’re in a work or school-related environment, people are most likely to view your personality or see you as your mars sign. If you’re a Virgo/Capricorn Mars, you may have been the person in class that appears as hardworking or shy/quiet and stayed back from the crowd to do their own thing. If you’re a Leo Mars, people at work or school may see you as having a spontaneous personality or dramatic and also as someone very artistic and who likes to express themselves. Aquarius Mars can be seen as very opinionated.

🧡Gemini/Aquarius placements will make you feel like you can talk to them about the weirdest things or literally anything without feeling judged

🧡I feel like Leo and aries moons want to and always have this plan to try and hold grudges forever after they’ve been hurt because of how strongly Leo & aries moons feel their emotions, but they usually end up forgetting and hold one for max a few days until their emotions go through a different range and they focus on something else. (It depends on the situation tho because if really hurt, they can manage to hold one till death)

🧡A Sagittarius moon has such a prominent energy in someone’s birth chart. Even if the person has a stellium in another sign it’s like once they have a sag moon it takes over their whole personality. For example, someone can be a cap sun, mercury, rising, etc and you might expect them to show Capricorn traits and appear as “serious or hard working” but if they have that sag moon it’s like you’ll see then as a completely outgoing and bubbly person who’s always cracking jokes. Their humor and charisma is so contagious and it outshines everything.

🧡Aquarius placements might become certain types of doctors/scientists in a way that the job is related to using modern technology since they have the ability to be innovative

🧡mutable signs are likely to have ADHD

🧡water moons have these super vivid & intuitive dreams or usually the universe may try to send them messages or communicate with them through dreams. for example, a lot of my water moon friends tell me that they’ve had a dream of a person specifically telling them how they feel about them (my friend) and when they ask the person how they feel irl, they say the exact same thing as they said in their dream. Or whatever they dream of likely happens irl.

🧡saturn-ASC harsh aspects may come off as serious and not wanting to interact with others except people they’re close to

🧡 people with Virgo sun + libra mercury in a chart = talking absolute shit about you to others if they don’t like you but never saying it to your face (virgo is ruled by mercury and libra placements just tend to be passive aggressive in general since they’re afraid of open issues)

🧡Pisces risings are so ethereal and beautiful. even though it’s a rare rising sign to have I feel like they’re king easy to point out. It’s usually the people in the room who are always radiating warm energy and giving people hugs. They may also have a soft voice and appearance in general. Very sweet people!

🧡Capricorn mars hate when people try to automatically help them with something or do something for them without them asking for their help first

🧡Jupiter in the 11H individuals can attract friends easily or have a large friendgroup and abundance of friends

🧡I’m so jealous of how organized 6H stelliums and Virgo risings are. Yes, they might secretly not have shit under control, but they still manage to pull it off. I know a lot of people who have this and they always seem to have the perfect structured life with some sort of an organizer or to-do list and succeed in everything.

🧡I feel like no one talks about how jealous Leo moons/Venus or 5H stelliums can be. Sometimes even more than Scorpios. People with these placements are always constantly trying to be the best and everyone’s favorite, and as a result, they might try to “out-perform” and “look better” than the people around them. When they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve, especially from close friends and loved ones, they can spiral into unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some even get attached to people very fast and are the type to get angry and jealous easily if they see their friends and loved ones hanging out with someone else. They’re very possessive and hate feeling like they matter less compared to others. They thrive off validation so theyre the type to give you the silent treatment because you ignored them in some way.

🧡heavy Venusian placements in a chart can l be the type of people to actually ‘judge a book by its cover’. This doesn’t mean that these people don’t care to look at the inside and see the beauty, but they also do appreciate aesthetic and something that is pleasing to the eye or in a visual sense (for a very literal comparison: these are the types of people to be at a bookstore and put a book down because the cover isn’t pretty or it’s boring even if it might be a good book lol)

🧡gemini moons/risings are either super extroverted and outgoing or they barely speak and keep to themselves in social situations. There’s no in between

🧡Pluto in the 8H people might have ego issues and their ego can get in the way of making mature & responsible decisions

🧡moon in the 11H are so warm and loving towards their friends. These are the type of people who’s friends mean so much to them and they always make sure to keep their circle close and happy

[damned-punk]

Love your stories about Killer - there isn't enough content with him! Could you do a story or headcanons about Killer and Kid separately having a crush on reader and the other plays as wingman?

I’m so happy you’re enjoying them! :3 There certainly isn’t enough love for Killer, which is blasphemous in my opinion. Have some headcanons about how Kidd and Killer would handle hopelessly pining for the same person, ultimately ending up wanting each other to be happy with the person after they realize what’s going on because they care for each other to a degree that exceeds the importance of their own happiness… (this is going in the prompt collection, stay tuned for more)

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Killer would be far more likely to pick up on the fact that Kidd has developed feelings for you before Kidd could ever hope to figure out that Killer has taken an interest in someone. They know every little detail about one another as well as how they interact with the people they care for, but this doesn’t prevent Killer’s reserved nature from both literally and figuratively masking his thoughts of intimacy that relate to you.

It would start with Kidd letting a comment slip in passing during a conversation with Killer, maybe mentioning something uncharacteristically positive about your appearance or how well you’d met the expectations of your assigned duty onboard the Victoria Punk. Killer would agree wholeheartedly and the first few times this happens, Kidd wouldn’t catch on to the looming affections behind his tendency to agree but would certainly know something was up when Killer started adding his own praises in the mix.

Due to Kidd’s eccentric personality, I could see the pining from Killer really coming into play during meal times, parties, and breaks on islands where everyone is all together and consequentially being socially active. Kidd would undoubtedly flirt with you in his own way by hurling not-at-all serious insults, showing you whatever new component or weapon he’d been working on, and even manhandling you into the seat beside him (even on his lap in the event that there is conveniently no seat available within his direct vicinity).

Killer would never interfere with these moments for a multitude of reasons. Most notably, he has horrible self esteem and struggles with the idea of someone actually wanting him in that way, his devotion to Kidd is imminent in every situation no matter the context, and he sees how you light up every time Kidd pursues you. It’s already established that he values Kidd’s happiness over his own, but the same is extended to you. Whether it be Kidd or someone else, he would not prevent you from being with the person you were interested in. Instead, he’d make himself scarce and remain even quieter than usual. If he really didn’t want to face the scenes in front of him, he’d just stay in the kitchen or occupy himself away from the two of you.

This is where the dynamic would shift as Kidd would immediately notice the increasingly common lack of Killer. He would be accustomed to his partner’s usual silence, but his absence entirely would let Kidd know that something was up. He’d question Killer relentlessly, not letting up until Killer finally admits to having feelings for you. The moment that Kidd knows this, all bets are off. He’d be a bit hurt but he would never let Killer see that because he, exactly in the same way as Killer, would only want his partner to be happy. This also extends to you and is solidified as he realizes that you’d somehow wormed your way into both of their hearts.

Kidd would stop manhandling you and cease all teasing, he’d even distance or distract himself when possible in order to give Killer more space to approach you on his own. This would be painful for you, especially given that his affections would’ve stopped all at once, out of the blue with no elaboration on what had gone wrong. He’d even come across as a bit mean at times when he’d bark orders at you, all in an effort to try and quickly dissolve the ties that had begun to bind the two of you together. In his own mind, he’d be rectifying the damage by giving you tasks that meshed with Killer’s schedule. It would be an unnoticeable way that he could slip under the radar while ensuring you were cared for, simultaneously working to preserve the satisfaction of his partner.

This would work on Killer initially as he’d assume that your increased presence was the result of Kidd pushing himself as far away from you as possible, but he’d catch on quickly when you’d suddenly be scheduled for kitchen duty every day that wasn’t a rest day. A prompt visit to Kidd’s quarters and several words exchanged later, they’d be at a standstill. Both would be irritated that the other wouldn’t relent and pursue you as desired and just as equally irritated that because they were so thickheaded, they hadn’t considered what was best for you.

Kidd and Killer are certainly all or nothing, ride or die, especially when it comes to each other. When they begin to distance themselves from you in tandem and refuse to look you in the eye, you discuss the matter with your closest crewmates. They instruct you to corner them as when they got into these moods, there was always a bigger picture. The truth would not come out during one on one conversations. Instead, they’d vehemently deny anything being wrong and would do just about anything to get away from you. Only by forcing them into a situation where it was the three of you, would you finally get the truth.

Some deliberation would occur as to how to proceed with all of this and after a minor joke in passing referring to a poly relationship, as well as having to explain the concept when they vocalized their confusion, you’d be met with a fiercely red faced Kidd and nervous glances bouncing around the room from Killer. Neither would object to the suggestion as they’d had their own moments in the past. In the end, their partnership dynamic wouldn’t change much at all, it would just start to include you.

★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

[kiirotoao]

HEYY YOUR SO PRETTY BTW AND I LOVE YOUR BLOG

the ask :

so, i wanted to get ur opinion on s3 mike. such as, what he was going through and his internalized homophobia. things like that!

maybe some things w/ him and his relationship w/ el too!

THANKS FOR ANSWERING IF U DO ANSWER :D

I’m gonna pretend that I’m fine after weeks of getting flustered just staring at this in my inbox! Thank you, anon!!! 🥺🥺 You’re making me blush! But, uh, anyways! Let’s talk about Mike Wheeler! 💙

I think that Mike in season 3 is the most interesting version of himself in the entire show because of how hidden his story becomes. In all other seasons, Mike cries openly with other people and expresses his sadness and fears over Will and El.

In season 3, though? Besides the finale, the tearful goodbyes narrated by Hopper, we never see Mike truly cry and explicitly talk through why. Sure, it can be pretty readily implied that it’s because of the Byers leaving, but we don’t hear that aloud. We don’t see exactly who’s on Mike’s mind as those cars pull away. We're left with silent and unsure stares, looks of seeming regret or something else unknown.

Season 3 is truly a huge turning point for Mike, he’s losing his girlfriend and arguably his closest friend in the Party, and it's so easily overlooked because it all happens at the very end of the final episode. Whereas El goes through hell and fights to connect to Billy and save her friends, where Max also feels the weight of his loss, where Will gets his heartbreaking scene at Castle Byers - all the Party members who are very linked to Mike get their emotional moments that season, and we know exactly why they cry.

But Mike dances around his emotions all season long. In consulting Lucas to deal with breaking up and making up with El, in trying to tell El that he loves her without ever saying it, in fighting with Will because "it's not [his] fault [Will doesn't] like girls."

Oh, Mike. I really don't think that Mike was out to hurt Will when he said that. Rather, it's a culmination of heteronormativity and the poor relationship that he has with El and trying to compensate for it. I interpret the outburst as him saying, 'it's not my fault that I'm in a relationship and you're not, so you wouldn't get it.' And by extension, Will being in a relationship would require, normatively, being with a girl.

But at the same time, for a jab that deep - I can't help but question more.

Mike could have said, "it's not my fault you don't like anyone!" or "don't bring her into this!" or even as simple as, "you wouldn't understand!" But no. Mike takes the direct train to sexuality station and brings up the fact that El is a girl. So it seems to me that Mike is very likely harboring something in his heart about why El being a girl is important for him to argue.

But we never know for sure. This moment is never addressed again due to the Mind Flayer’s sudden return. And so it’s up to us as the audience to decide what we think of Mike’s statement. And personally, as I’m sure many of you believe, too, I think that Mike is projecting and trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t like girls onto Will, pushing away his problems to someone he trusts who’s more similar to himself than he realizes.

Tied to his inability to say to El’s face that he loves her, to the fact that they've - reportedly from Hopper - kissed all Summer long with no mention of meaningful conversation, to the very surface-level relational mending his makes by calling El’s outfit “cool” and giving her candy, to the very end of the season where Mike once again denies saying that he loved El just before an open-eyed kiss and a face like this:

Mike doesn’t need to say anything about that kiss for me to know that that’s not the reaction of someone who’s perfectly happy to be back together with his ex-girlfriend. So do I wish that we had a moment of vulnerability for Mike where he expressed his heart in season 3? Yes, but his nonverbals spoke volumes.

So, yeah, I think that in season 3, Mike is very much gay, but he he acts cautiously and self-preservingly because trauma is drowning everything out.

And what is this trauma? I know that I’m working backwards, but I need to bring up that Mike was separated from El for so long in the time of season 2, and I think that that makes him so attached to her in season 3. Think about what else he says in that scene when he admits his love: “I love her and I can’t lose her again.”

As sweet as it is to be reunited to El by the end of season 2, it’s not a clean reunion for Mike. He’s in shambles when he learns that Hopper was lying to him and not letting El even tell Mike that she’s okay.

Not to mention that this isn’t his first but second time almost losing her to the monster that season.

Because of this unstable connection, I think that Mike has built a protective relationship with El, one that focuses on keeping her rather than knowing her, and we see how that all unfolds with his superficial “superhero” complex he has of her in season 4. Season 3 was just the beginning.

And so I think that Mike in season 3 stands as a version of himself that’s confused protectiveness with love. Even though he arguably behaves with that same mindset all the time, it’s at its highest during season 3 because of his never-ending insistence to help El even if she’s capable to do things by herself. Mike isn’t just clingy, he’s worried. Worried for her life. There’s no time to worry about where the problems in their relationship arise, there’s only time to fix them and go back to how they were at equilibrium - when things were normal.

Thus, Mike behaves rather stubbornly. He’s insistent and defensive, not letting a single thing slip through the cracks and risk any more hurt. In doing so, his personality is left far under the surface and unexplored. He only acts to stir up emotions rather than reflect on them, because any pausing to think will only confuse him more. He’s looking ahead, looking at the light, holding onto everything good he has with all the propriety of a 13/14-year-old who has a heart bigger than his head.

Simply put, Mike is a bit of an anti-hero this season. And I think that it's because of this that he starts to get most controversial for the audience.

I’m clearly a Mike apologist, but I genuinely don’t think that he’s out to hurt anyone when he argues with others this season. He’s just stubborn and loud about it, which can definitely be to his fault at times. But in the end, when it comes down to who he loves, I think that season 3 is the era of change, and that ending scene with Hopper’s letter paints the perfect setup for the next seasons to reveal that Mike has a lot more going on under the surface that’s causing all of this. Maybe some regrets, things he wishes he could “turn back the clock” on, regarding, say, Will and El and how he treats them platonically and romantically? Just a thought.

The question of the day for Mike in season 3 stands: is he being selfish or selfless? And I think that it’s a mix of both, blended in with some heavy confusion due to role changing (not needing to protect El) and uncertain affections (not knowing how to figure out what he has with Will).

So, yeah. All in all, I think that Mike is really closeted in season 3 and doesn’t realize it until the final episode, and I honestly love him for it. As someone who’s gone through similar hurdles of internalized homophobia as a teen, it’s really heartwarming to see him grow and figure things out, even if the journey is far from perfect. It’s a humble origin story. And if he somehow ends up being straight and Byler isn’t endgame, well. I’ll be upset at the writers, but the impact still stands.

[fernsnailz]

February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return. 

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here. 

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

[nayatarot777]

how do they truly feel about you?

• pile one •

cards: 7 of cups, 2 of cups, the emperor, knight of wands

this person has mixed feelings about you - or just simply doesn’t know how they feel about you - but there’s definitely a good energy surrounding whatever these feelings are. they feel some sort of protectiveness over you but they don’t really know why. they could be used to surface level connections with others but there seems to be some sort of responsibility that they feel over you. they’re actually beginning to think about all of the possibilities that could come out of whatever you guys have going on - if there was to be some sort of stability and solid roots implemented into this connection. they’re just contemplating on how they’re going to approach connecting with you or connecting with you deeper. it seems like they want to make a rash decision and just go for the opportunity to make something happen, but there’s something that they’re confused about. the confusion could relate to the ambiguity of your relationship status and whether or not you’re already in a connection with someone else. but there’s a lot of fire energy here - mainly Aries energy is sticking out - and i feel like this person doesn’t plan on giving up on finding a way to approach you correctly. correctly enough to actually establish something solid between the two of you.

if you’d like a personal reading, please check out my pinned post 💞

• pile two •

cards: the world, the tower, queen of wands, 8 of swords

there’s definitely a lot of negativity surrounding this person’s feelings for you. they feel like you’re completely done with something thanks to your own self-governance and independence. they feel like you’re feeling free just doing your own thing, and like you’re thriving while they’re left in rubbles. there’s a lot of mental torment and anguish that they’re experiencing currently - and this is for the sake of their own change and transformation. they’re kind of choosing to keep themselves in this mental prison though, as if they’re pulling up every negative thought that they could about you or this situation and they’re comfortable enough to sit in that. i’m feeling a lot of regret too so they could feel like they were responsible for the destruction of whatever connection you had to each other. i’m also seeing that they could be victimising themselves in relation to you. maybe you did do something to hurt this person - maybe you didn’t - but they feel like you’re thriving and loving your life while they’re left in a mess. they also feel like you’re extremely disappointed in them too. or looking down on them for something. and they might assume that you feel as though you’re better than them. if that’s how you feel then…🤷🏾‍♀️

if you’d like a personal reading, please check out my pinned post 💞

• pile three •

cards: 7 of pentacles, the fool, 3 of swords, the hierophant

this person feels like their feelings for you are set in stone. they’re not going anywhere. but there’s something about your connection that feels very stagnant. maybe very routine and repetitive. this doesn’t even have to pertain to your physical lives together, but perhaps the growth in the relationship. and they feel like part of growing/improving this relationship requires them to work on something that they never have before. related to past pain or traumas. they might know that their viewpoints and beliefs about commitment, or standards that they hold themselves to needs to be worked on. it seems like whatever they feel like they’re stepping into with you is completely new to them, and they feel like they’re making foolish mistakes and being immature in some way. and like they don’t know what they’re doing. they might also have fears of you using them for something (for some of you in particular). especially if money is involved. and they could feel like the effort that they’re putting in also isn’t helping to reap the rewards in this connection that they’d like to see. there’s a sense of inadequacy here.

if you’d like a personal reading, please check out my pinned post 💞

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Saw someone saying that most people in the "bnha critical" hashtag mostly just "suck deku's dick" instead of actually criticizing the story. The same person also had another post basically saying that the reason why midoriya gets treated so poorly by the narrative is because every other character's traits were "erased(?) to make up for midoriya's bland character*" * I don't remember their exact words, but they said something similar to that

Those two posts gave me such a headache that I blocked them immediately

I really hate it when people say this.

I’m going to be honest, as someone who likes Izuku, there’s things you can definitely criticize about Izuku’s character. I think that he’s far too naive in certain situations and doesn’t get called out for it much. Him trying to see good in Overhaul is one of those instances. I think he suffers immensely from selective intelligence. He’s supposed to be great at thinking on his feet yet it takes him very long to realize that he could be throwing more kicks. I also think that as the story progresses, he becomes far less creative with his quirks. You get some rare moments like him using Black Whip from his mouth after being inspired by Tsuyu, but we rarely get these moments of his intelligence anymore. He’s also not allowed to really reflect on his past, so he’s extremely stagnant in regards to his views about things such as his quirkless past and the bullying he’s suffered from Katsuki.

However, Izuku isn’t a bland character. The problem is he has a bad writer. We could’ve seen more of his and Ochako’s relationship. Unlike many other relationships, the two are built around the idea that they constantly have each other’s backs. I wanna see more of this. I wanna see more of them bonding. Maybe Ochako asks Izuku for some hand to hand combat training. Maybe Izuku learns more about Ochako’s life/ her hobbies and tries to plan things for them to do that they both enjoy. Maybe they can have a heart to heart about constantly being underestimated and being a part of a group that is looked down upon (Ochako being poor and Izuku being quirkless). With Tenya, maybe the two can study together. Tenya’s great at retaining information but Izuku’s better at being creative, so they can help each other there. They could talk about their feelings of anger and how they feel they have a large legacy to uphold. With Shoto, we can have Izuku and him explore what a normal healthy friendship is like. We can have them confide in each other about the abuse they’ve been through and about their relationships with their moms. These are things that could easily be explored with a character like Izuku and Hori has set up the building blocks of Izuku’s character that allows for these things to be explored. The problem is that Hori doesn’t do any of this. We’re expected to believe that the DekuSquad are close knit with each other, but we don’t see them interacting in anything that isn’t related to heroics. We don’t see much of Izuku’s creativity anymore. He has numerous quirks, but even if some overlap with the others, there are cool combos a hero nerd like him could come up with, but instead Hori would rather have him do the exact same things over and over again. The way Hori writes Katsuki also hurts Izuku’s character. Outside of the first chapter, Izuku’s never allowed to show anything other than fear and admiration for Katsuki. He’s never allowed to be unique or else he’ll utterly surpass Katsuki in something (Katsuki’s latest B.S power up is an example of this). He’s not allowed to reflect on Katsuki’s bullying and the effect it has on him nor is he able to hang out with anyone without Katsuki being nearby or involved.

Long rant, I know, but the point is that while there’s certainly things you can criticize about Izuku’s character, most of the issues with Izuku doesn’t come from being a bad character but from being written by a bad writer who prioritizes other things over developing his MC

[pansy-picnics]

Sorry but your recent artwork has me thinking about parent Varigo and I have to dump my thoughts somewhere. I feel like, if they actually had a kid it would be really emotional for them but in different ways. Varian finds out he’s pregnant and is a little scared at first, but he actually adjusts to the idea pretty fast and is excited about it, because he’s in a good place now and has a good support system. He doesn’t have to worry about his family judging him, he knows they’ll still see him for who he is. Hugo on the other hand is terrified. But not because he doesn’t wanna be a dad, he’s pretty excited about that, he’s just really scared that Varian is going to get sick from the pregnancy, or that the whole experience is gonna be too much for him. He feels like this is just another thing he’s “putting Varian through” because he’s still not quite over the guilt of his betrayal years ago, and now it’s coming back to haunt him. They work it out of course and Hugo realizes that it’s gonna be okay and that he also can depend on Varian’s family for support because they’re his family too. Now I’m emotional. Anyway I love your art <3

AUGHHHH YEAH YEAH THIS IS SO REAL!!!!! i love plots like that fr, their characters are so fun to explore😭😭😭 Honestly? i think in the right circumstances hugo could be a deadbeat dad. like he could just straight up leave bc he’s paranoid varian or the kid would get hurt or he’d put them in danger or something. he’s the kind of guy who’s always Running! like i could think of scenarios where he’d run away on their wedding day too. those are both horrible extremes SORRY FOR THE ANGST I JUST THINK IT’S NEAT.

i think hugo’s always WANTED a family but its something she’s always viewed as unachievable, mostly bc of the shitty living situation hes been in for most of his life. she could barely survive on her own and she’d never want to drag someone else into that yk? and she’s still scared of that commitment even after she moves into the castle, bc what if she DID have a kid and then something happened and she couldn’t take care of them anymore, or she ends up on the streets again….and what if she just ends up abandoning them? what if she’s no better than the parents she never even knew? it’s like, obviously she wouldn’t do any of those things or be in those situations but she has….a Lot of anxiety around it for sure. but i also think that she tries to adopt literally every orphan she and varian see. she LOVES kids as much as she pretends she doesn’t and its very obvious….she just hasn’t really had the privilege to be able to think about it until now.

varian…i think he goes either way, he doesn’t really plan to have kids but he’ll kinda learn to adjust to whatever, he’s also just a very family oriented guy so he’s definitely not opposed to that kind of role. in my head they usually adopt bc i think varian like, Hates anything related to the human body at all so even disregarding the gender dysphoria pregnancy is SO gross to him. idk why i just think he’s silly like that. hell make bombs and poisonous chemicals but he remembers people have organs and he wants to throw up. i’m not opposed to the idea of them having biological kids at all though…especially considering all the art i’ve already drawn for it’s us against the world LOL. personally i think even if he weren’t opposed to the idea he’d be miserable the entire time, and not even like in a serious way necessarily he’s just REALLY mad that he can’t work in the lab anymore. he’s pissed about EVERYTHING, actually. he’s bored and he’s tired and he can’t work and he feels like shit and he doesn’t really have any other hobbies either. his whole life and routine has been completely fucked over for nine months and SURE he loves the kid and he’s excited but like why does it need to be in there that long. why can’t it just come from the stork or something. 🙄/j

i think he might pick a few fights with hugo bc of it, just because he’s so overwhelmed and emotional and doesn’t know how to handle it, but hugo’s really understanding; also they’ll honestly take any kind of treatment from him because they’re like, “Yeah i probably deserved that”. which varian does NOT like btw and always gets on his ass later to stick up for himself more while also in tears apologizing for yelling at him

idk i just think them as parents would be Sooo silly. neither of them have any clue what they’re doing. dude if those two had a baby? Dude can you imagine? varian’s sooo fucking sheltered i think he’s only interacted with like, 2 babies in his entire life. quirin stays with them for tje first few weeks bc varian literally just has NO clue what he’s doing and is crying to him all the time. and hugo like, has an idea of what to do but he’s also SUPER paranoid. they’re both just staring at the kid while they sleep not so much out of adoration but because they’re just terrified they’ll stop breathing at any moment. you cant convince me that either of them know how to change a diaper. They’re gonna bring out like full lab gear. like the gag where the dads will pull out full hazmat suits for the diaper change. That’s them idc

ruddiger is also SO protective of their kids from the moment they’re born, like he jumps up into the crib and snuggles up with them and they always IMMEDIATELY stop crying. olivia is the opposite. she’s kinda like a toddler who just got a new sibling she didn’t want. shes pissed that she isn’t getting hugo’s full attention and keeps being a brat about it. hugo’s just trying to calm down his baby and olivias glaring at him while she’s about to push a glass off the table

yeah idk i. have a lot of thoughts abt them too they’re so beloved to me

[vhagarlovebot]

gwen you should do an aemond x petite!reader where aemond and r are seceretly dating and she sees aemond talking to another girl who looks targaryen-esque bcz alicent is tryna set him up and then r gets upset bcz she thinks she’s going to lose him to someone more “suitable” and then he comforts her being like nooo i like that you’re small it makes it so much easier to hold you or smth. 🥺

being barely five foot in an area where ppl r rlly tall kinda starts getting to u sometimes, yk.oh! n bonus points if she’s also a handmaiden!reader.

since the prince showed his interest in you, you knew it was just a matter of time before he got bored of you. what could you possibly give him? you’re not more than a handmaiden, someone with little to no value to the royal family. and prince aemond makes sure you remember that when you see him walking nearby with a girl by his side. he can’t see you and you are thankful for that or else he would see the tears streaming down your face.

all you want to do is lock yourself somewhere private and cry until everything stops hurting. but you have work to do, you don’t have the privilege to call it a day and just disappear. so you simply wipe your face, putting on your bravest face, and come out of your hiding spot, almost tripping over your own feet. you think you can’t feel more stupid but then you feel a presence in front of you, and you feel even worse.

“are you alright? do you need help?” aemond speaks with so much fondness it makes you want to cry again.

“i’m fine, your grace.” you now, hiding your red eyes and face from him.

“we are alone, you are allowed to call me by my birth name.” he stretches out his hand to touch you, but you take a step back. aemond frowns, immediately knowing something is wrong. “did something happened?”

“it is not right to speak like that to you, my prince.” you still don’t look at him and aemond does not care what you say, he knows you don’t mean that.

he lifts your chin with his fingers and what finds on your face makes him want to burn the whole world for you.

“did someone hurt you?” aemond cradles your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks as more tears fill your eyes.

“you did.” you sob, feeling pathetic. you see the confusion in his eyes and before he can ask you what you mean, you give him the answer. “i know i’m not the prettiest. i’m not brave or strong like you or anyone, really. i am small, i can barely help with duties around the castle and it is not help that even the people i relate the most look down at me.” you can see the hurt in his eyes and you can’t help but brush the frown out of his face, shyly smiling when he relaxes. “i just thought– it does not matter, forget it, my prince.”

you try to pull away but aemond is quick to grab you by the waist, your body collapsing onto his. you look up at him, with pink-colored cheeks and a huge desire to kiss him.

“you are everything to me.” he states, piercing gaze making you feel as nervous as the first time you were alone with him. “i don’t want anyone else because you are all i want. i want your small hands caressing my face, i want your body flushed against mine every night, i want to wake up and see your pretty smile every morning for the rest of my life.” your heart never felt so full of love before, every doubt you had disappearing from your mind. “if it is not clear,” aemond leans, cradling your face once again as his eye finds yours. “i intend to spend my life with you. i do not care what people think, i do not care about duty. you are all i want.”

[raayllum]

Was thinking about the Gifts scene because it was one of my favourites and has made me cry every time, thus far, and something that stuck out to me the first time has now collected more thoughts, in terms of parallels and parental relationships. 

Ezran and Rayla both sacrifice something in remembrance to their fathers. For Ezran, it’s the symbol of him finding a way to both honour his father’s memory and take a better path than he did. The way they worked his short story and musings over his father’s sword directly into the show was delightful and heartfelt. Ezran acknowledges that the crown isn’t made of precious metals or bearing special jewels, but it carries an emotional weight and shows his humility and his own strength as a king. It says just as much about Ezran as it does about Harrow, if not arguably more.  

Then you have Rayla stepping up first (was anyone else relieved she wasn’t offering herself up to be eaten?) and arguably with the biggest sacrifice. As she says, these blades are all she has to remember Ethari and Runaan, two of her parents, by. Unlike Ezran, who shares in his grief with Callum and the rest of the council about Harrow, there is no one left who remembers Ethari and Runaan the way she does and did. There are no more family heirlooms waiting for her. She can’t even truly go back to where they raised her.

Ezran gives up something he had crafted in Harrow’s memory, and Rayla gives up the one and final gift her fathers gave to her, her most constant companions in the two years she was gone, and her last line of defense.

Then you have Callum, who offers up Ibis’ staff. Now, Callum’s statement here is still meaningful. The staff here has been incredibly helpful, he’s presumably seen Ibis more than a few times over the past few years with Ezran and Zym assumedly visiting regularly, Ibis taught him the spell he uses the most this season and the one that let him save Rayla. But it’s hardly a parent-child bond or even a mentor-mentee bond. 

So what does Callum have from a parent? Well... the Key of Aaravos, really. He has his sketchbook, which is full of spells Rex Igneous would never be interested in (it’s not even his primal) and he has this magical, mystical key that unlocks something of great power. And I want to write a bigger post about how I think it relates to his identity and sense of self worth as a mage as well, but I do think given we see Callum lighting a candle for Harrow and that it’s attached to Harrow’s letter as it is, as well as some things Callum’s VA, Jack De Sena has said, in addition to this panel from TTM:

J: [Regarding trauma and growing up]  I think that’s part of, just to speak to like, right, season four stuff, that’s part of the I think some of the anger he holds about Rayla leaving is that like, “we went through all this really intense stuff together and that—like, I’m cut off from that, in some ways.” T: Yeah. J: This—this person who you shared that with is gone, and—

Through The Moon makes it clear that Callum hasn’t moved on from grieving Harrow, if indeed you can ever quite let a grief like that go in the first place. We know from 4x03 that Ezran likewise still feels hurt, pain, and anger regarding the death of their parents, but he also had Callum to mourn with, other people to remember with, and Zym most of all as a silver lining. 

We know from 4x01 he’s been quietly but actively grieving Rayla for a while now, too, and then she shows up. It’s clear that Callum has emotionally closed himself off in her absence and in her return (seriously, did anyone ever have to prompt him into talking in s1-s3?) which makes sense, since over the course of their journey she became his main confidant and peer. But, as Jack de Sena noted, he was cut off from that. His grieving stagnated in more ways than one because he couldn’t precisely move on, even before she left, never mind after.

Now he’s a loose end, frayed and jagged, still grieving in multiple ways. And with the coins now in Rayla’s possession, S5 may force him to confront just how not okay with Harrow’s death he still is in some ways, now that freeing his father’s killer is something he’ll both want and loathe to help with, in addition to being further entrenched in Aaravos’ schemes. 

What will Callum hold onto, and what will he let go of?