#i’m an old lady

[scarlettblack24]

Happy Birthday to the legend that is Jemaine Clement! Thank you for sharing your amazing talents with the world making many people, including this nerd, incredibly happy to be alive during these crazy times! 🎉🎂🥳

[gretasimp]

Will you please use readmores 👉👈

I’m being 100% fr, I don’t know how. Is it an option when you post or??

[zarastrawberry]

i finally remembered to change my bio from 19 to 20 crying screaming throwing up

[xenic-doll]

You’re absolutely stunning 😍

Just a reminder that you might wanna add your age to your bio though to avoid being blocked by some people.

Have an amazing day! 💗

Why thank you. Actually do have it up but tumblr was being weird and not showing. I’m 27 ✌️

[greeklyuniverse]

Ok this is getting ridiculous.

Does anyone know why my tumblr mobile app won’t let me open up links to stuff!

I’m tapping on them and nothing happens! If I tap and hold down it just asks if I want to send the link to someone!

No I don’t want to send this link to my mother it has smut and I can’t let her know I can read!

Please help me

[dysfunctional-eritrean]

where or where have you gone?

I always forget I have a tumblr

[so-you-read-the-usernames]

Female characters who are the sole voice of reason <<<<<<< Female characters who think of themselves as the sole voice of reason but who are actually just as insane as those around them

[toujouhidetora]

where do i find someone to kiss me like that irl

[vvitchering]

Din’s new Nevarro neighbors realizing pretty quickly that the new guy will help you with anything if you ask him nicely. Got a leaky roof? He’ll climb up there and patch it and clean out the gutters while he’s at it. Old and need someone to run into town and pick up some groceries for you? How many potatoes do you need, ma’am? Some creep keeps harassing you? Don’t worry about it, it’s taken care of.

Din has all the thank-you pies, cakes, and pastries he and Grogu can eat.

[kinokoshoujoart]

Marrying Carter in Harvest Moon DS Cute! (North American version)

oh… sorry no not the archaeologist, i mean Pastor Carter from Mineral Town!

(or is it Pastor Curdy….?)

teeechnically his descendant, and it causes a game over… but this is the only time we’ve been able to marry him right?

so in the girl version of HMDS, there’s two “secret” Mineral Town bachelors that you can marry by talking to them enough times on the phone. one is Mason, the guy who runs May’s Tailoring… but the second, Pastor Carter, is a bit more obscure…

i couldn’t find them uploaded anywhere so here are his 2nd* thru 10th conversations+his proposal+proposal rejection in english! if you want to see it on youtube instead here you go

*i failed to record the first conversation when it happened, and there’s no way in hell i’m resetting my whole game again (…yet), so…just know the first one was like “oh you want to talk? what should we talk about…….. …… ….. …. i can’t think of anything. well see ya………” extremely riveting stuff

he’s so obscure that i didn’t even realize that he was a bachelor until i found out about the mechanic from this japanese wiki!! (here’s an archive link to the page on him in case the page doesn’t work) all i did was test whether it worked in english since i couldn’t find any english info at all mentioning it. i’m sure others have found him… right……..

in case the links above don’t work, a small guide to holy matrimony below the cut since i can’t find one in english

it works essentially the same as the Mason marriage (so it’s just a game over, sadly…), and the steps are pretty tedious and counterintuitive, so you’re unlikely to just stumble across it… but you too can get a priest to break his vow of celibacy for you or whatever!

you will need:

at least 2,050,000 G

20 cursed tools/accessories

if you really don’t want to dig up 20 cursed things you can substitute 100x “remove a cursed tool/accessory” for blessing a cursed tool…

but, including all the cursed tools and accessories, there’s only 16… which means you will need to go dig up 4 duplicate cursed accessories using this method! yay!!! extremely pointless since you can’t sell blessed accessories until after marriage in DS for girl (at which point you can’t trigger pastor carter’s proposal)

you unlock a conversation with cardi when you spend at least 205,000 G. which means the quickest thing to do is to order removal of a cursed item five times, then bless 2 cursed items.

**be careful when blessing accessories to only equip one at a time!!! if you equip a stack of duplicate accessories, blessing that stack destroys the duplicates!!!! :( so just take 1 out of the stack and equip it!!!**

you also can’t unlock more conversations until you’ve seen the one you unlocked, so like even if you spend a million G you’ll just unlock one conversation, and you’ll need to finish that conversation and then spend 205,000 G to unlock the next one…yeah….

on the tenth conversation he abruptly reveals that he’s fallen in love with you and asks you to marry him! it ends your game, but….! on the bright side, it ends your game!!! you’re finally free from Hell Simulator!!!!

[headofocs-inklesspen]

Actually, I’m tired of hearing fiber arts be referred to as “grandma crafts”. I’m going to be honest, I think the association of “this is a thing only boring old people do” is bullshit. One; because older people are rarely genuinely boring. And two; I think it puts people off of learning these things.

[doctorsiren]

A few doodles while I was in class earlier today

Investigations has been bringing Defenseworth back to the front of my brain

[crybaby-bkg]

“I thought I was supposed to be the old person in this relationship,” Toji’s voice rings out in the previously quiet atmosphere, makes your head whip up in surprise. your concentration is broken from your prior engagement, hands slowing as you can’t help the smile that grows on your face at his teasing.

“Crocheting is for any and all ages,” you snark back at him, taking in how he watches the way your hands still move rhythmically—yarn over, pull through two loops, yarn over, pull through the last two, chain four, repeat. “You weren’t talking shit when I made you that sweater for your birthday.”

“Yeah I did, cause it itched like all hell.” He teases, makes you stick your tongue out at him playfully. he wore that sweater everywhere, to the point you damn near had to rip it off of him to put it in the wash. (the only times he didn’t wear it was when he knew he’d get it dirty while doing his…business ventures, which you didn’t mind. you’d rather he go a day without wearing it than googling how to wash blood out of a crocheted sweater that took you weeks to make.)

by the time you snap back to reality, Toji has already crossed the room, standing in front of where you sit cross legged in the comfy recliner he brought just for when you crocheted. it takes you aback by how quickly he moved, so silently, face suddenly warm as you look up at him from under your lashes. his eyes are dark, shadowed by his fringe, his hands in his pockets, his head cocked to the side. he looks devious.

“What are you cooking up in that pretty little head of yours?” you ask him, finally pausing your hands as you rest them in your lap. but Toji doesn’t let you, no. instead, he holds them back up in front of your face as he sinks to his knees in front of you, his smile wide and evil, pulling your legs from under you as he settles them on his shoulders.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he croons to you, kissing the inner part of your knee, eyes still glued to your burning face. “Just keep doing your little old lady hobby while I busy myself.” without warning, he pulls your sleep shorts to the side, grinning when he’s met with the bare beauty that is your pussy. you shudder at the air that breezes past you, try to focus on chaining when he squeezes at your thighs with warm, veiny hands.

“But I can’t focus on counting my stitches when your face is between my legs.” you pout to him, hoping it’ll sway him to eat you out and then let you continue your project. but he doesn’t put his mouth on you until you start again, rewards you with a single wet, smacking kiss where you need it most.

“Guess you’re gonna have to learn how to multitask, sweetheart.” Toji grins before he licks a long stripe from taint to clit, your hands hiccuping in their movements. you can feel his smile more than see it, and come to the realization that he’s an evil, evil man. (you have to recount your stitches more than once, and even after you’re fucked out from euphoria and bliss, you still think you’re missing a few.)

[caroldanversenthusiast]

oh lord

[krazycat6167]

So @somerandomdudelmao made a version of their sona in a dystopia (inspired by @tapakah0 doing the same to theirs) and the person in this ask named the robot C.A.S.5 and I thought, ‘well then there’s at least four other C.A.S. units out and about in the world’ leading to this being the end result! It was a lot of fun to come up with the different customizations each C.A.S. unit has.

also, the design for C.A.S.4 (Cash) was partially inspired by @mobiitez post.

Doodles:

[hotvintagepoll]

Hey! Could we raise some prayers and good vibes for Marlene Dietrich’s daughter? I’m the person who wrote in a few months ago because Marlene Dietrich’s daughter, Maria Riva, is my grandmother’s godmother. Maria’s son, Peter, is my mom’s godfather.

Maria Riva is 99 years old, and she’ll be 100 in December. A little while ago, she got pretty sick- she could recover, but at her age it’s possible that she won’t. Considering we’re all voting on how gorgeous her mom is, I figured we could all foster some good will for her together <3

This is lovely :’) Sending good vibes for Ms. Riva and hope she has a safe and swift recovery!