#i’m mexican I don’t believe anything or anyone is pure

[marvellfashion]

are you poc? i guess i don't care since i don't really expect you to answer this ask. here it goes. i'm a poc in fandoms... no. i'm a poc who has read books and comics, and watched tv shows and movies, and has consumed and engaged with fan content for the past 10 years of my life. if you want to tell me to "log off and go outside" i'd like to remind y'all that saying that can be funny in your (and many others) heads but i'd like to remind you of the existance of people like me who spent 10 years inside of their houses for reasons that we don't have to explain to you! and it hurts! sometimes all we have is the things that we have inside. and i wanted to ask you: how do you do it? how do you enjoy comics? or movies? is there any such a thing as critical consumption? i'm not sure if i believe it anymore... my eyes are open to the racism backstage, racism onscreen, how black and non-white characters are treated, misogynoir, sexism, whitewashing, straightwashing, pentagon/us military propaganda, the list is endless. fate the winx saga didn't do anything that we haven't see on the mcu or any other piece of media. and i can't unsee it and i can't unlearn it. (i don't want to.) the white man (he is an adult) who plays the white boy in ms marvel is a trump supporter and now everytime i see his face i feel ranço (a word that's too powerful to have an english translation.) i know he will be woobifiyed. maybe i should be better at separating the actor from the character. maybe i am good at this... and it's actually the guys that who move heavens for a white guy bc he played a character in their favorite disney property. twitter stan fandom power interference or whatever is called is... something that shouldn't be ignored anymore. everywhere i see it. every tv show and movie it's the same shit again. maybe i could find solace in comics but my favourite characters are going through superhell for the past 15 years and i can't find solace anywhere in this fucking website or twitter or the source material. there were no excitement in my life since my childhood ended and the stuff that i used to love now doesn't give me joy and the fandom is either too "i see/hear no evil" and its usually the part where i get the racism and fujoushi weirdos or too "i hate tony stark and i hate and i hate and i hate..." and this side of fandom i thought it would be more open to my endless frustration but now i see myself and there's no excitement in my life and there's no joy and... i'm tired of it. i'm tired of how fandom and media have treated black and non-white people... and i'm tired. how do you do it? how do you enjoy media knowing you're supporting the us military (and know that they're doing bad things to people)? how do you enjoy media knowing that the black witch girl (who is the closest i'll ever get) who is even at some point more popular than the ambiguous white passing character wont get 4 mediocre seasons at netflix even tho she was a better character than kiernans sabrina for more than 7 seasons? i think the trailers were dope... but now that i know things and i spot these things idk what to do. im going through a bad moment that lasted 10 years and my "Confort character" is an awful character bc its whitewashed and the fandom is 100% fragmented and weird compared to the fandoms of other characters. goodbye. i hope u have a nice day/night. i wrote another ask that was better written but i accidently erssed so... sorry

 I wish I could give you an answer that was comforting, but I don’t have it. First I want to tell you that everything that you’ve expressed in this ask is absolutely valid and you are rightfully frustrated.  

The truth is that I think most of us when we open a Marvel comic or watch a Marvel movie ( if it’s through piracy or not) we do it being aware of how problematic they are. there’s no other way around it. I know this answer probably doesn’t answer anything or calm any of your frustrations but it’s an honest one.

 I hope that at least this blog can be a place that can bring you at least one milligram of joy about the fandom in Marvel. and if you want to scream and shout in my ask about how you feel, you can and are absolutely welcome to do all that! 

 I wish you a nice day and night too. 

[embermc]

"People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?"

This is a quote from The Good Place (awesome show, by the way, check it out). It's a show largely about redemption, morality, and the nature of humanity. Very importantly, it's a show about how people aren't inherently evil at heart, and although they can hurt other people and that isn't okay, they can also be negatively affected by their circumstances, and a large part of what makes redemption and changing for the better work is "external love and support" from others.

I've alluded to this quote before in previous posts, but I think it really perfectly applies to c!Wilbur right now, in his current state.

c!Wilbur, as we've seen, has been stuck in a dark, cold Limbo for thirteen years. He has had barely any stimuli, nothing but a deck of cards for entertainment, a lot of lingering mental illnesses, and most importantly for the context of this post, barely anyone to be with. He mentioned c!Schlatt sleeping for a while, and we now have the knowledge that Schlatt was off being a realtor. Mexican Dream is there, but there's a good chance that it wasn't for long, since he was a relatively new death that was only added years in, and he wasn't around in Tommy and Wilbur's conversation. And then there's c!Tommy. c!Tommy was with Wilbur in Limbo for a brief period of time, a few months, before leaving again which, is good for c!Tommy and I'm glad he didn't have to spend more time there, but it meant c!Wilbur had to spend even more years in crippling loneliness and near total isolation.

When he died, c!Wilbur was already not in a good mental state. He was incredibly depressed, traumatized, paranoid, suicidal, and in general, very mentally ill. This lead to him lashing out and hurting others, and in general, being a very morally grey character that made a lot of mistakes. As confirmed by c!Tommy, this shaky mental state and these behaviors have not gotten better during c!Wilbur's time in Limbo. And, of course they didn't. Isolation and crippling loneliness have never been the solution to healing someone's mental state, and this is something that has been proven time and time again by the SMP. In fact, a recurring theme on the SMP is that companionship and the company of others, and having others to be around and be a positive influence on you, is the best way to heal and fix yourself. In turn, the themes of the SMP have also shown that isolation, whether it be self-imposed or forceful, are absolutely devastating for one's mental state and condition, often leading to them making a lot of errors that they wouldn't have otherwise made.

c!Wilbur is no different. (Explanation under cut).

Upon returning to life, c!Wilbur is in a state of clear desperation. He undoubtedly doesn't want a repeat of his bad mental state and his situation in Limbo, where he was isolated, and he's searching for a purpose, for things to do, a role to play (since he has always assigned his self-worth to a role). Above all, he clearly doesn't want to lose c!Tommy. This has been made apparent and true numerous times, as we see him be desperate for c!Tommy to stay with him and to protect c!Tommy, even when Tommy himself wasn't watching or listening in. c!Wilbur doesn't want to be alone. He also is desperately searching for a role, a position of power, a nation, a rivalry, a headquarters, anything he can hold onto in order to have a sense of self-worth or a purpose.

And yeah, in the process, c!Wilbur may not be the most morally pure. He was definitely trying to guilt-trip and use underhanded methods of persuasion with Tommy to get him to stay with him and choose him over c!Quackity. He was lashing out, yelling at others in heated, stressful moments. He was occasionally lying. A lot of his coping mechanisms for his trauma were unhealthy, both for himself and for others. But here's the thing...how could he possibly have any other coping mechanisms? After being in a state of isolation and loneliness for literal years, it makes complete and total sense for him to not be a perfect human being. It makes sense for him to not have the best coping mechanisms, to, in the process, hurt those around him (despite wanting to be a better person, and I honestly believe this). While c!Wilbur's mental issues are not the responsibility of anyone else, c!Wilbur has not even had the benefit to have somebody that's a positive influence around him to keep him company, to make him slowly realize that he doesn't need to keep using the same unhealthy coping mechanisms. He has been without any real love or support for so long.

c!Wilbur is terrified of losing c!Tommy, because he doesn't want to be alone again, and doesn't know what to do if he was alone. He doesn't know who he is, alone, without a role to fit himself into or somebody to protect who looks up to him. He doesn't want a repeat of Limbo, where he wallowed in self-hatred and mental agony by himself for years. So he's desperate to keep c!Tommy with him, so desperate that he's willing to use morally dubious tactics like guilt-tripping in order to ensure he doesn't end up by himself. It's not morally correct for him to do, and it's negative for c!Tommy's mental health, but it's not a super malicious action coming from some irredeemable evil person. c!Wilbur's genuinely scared, and having a traumatic response to fearing a potential situation where he could end up alone again, a response that ends up hurting others despite him most likely not meaning to.

And because he's been alone for so long, without any real support, any real companionship, any real love, he's latching onto coping mechanisms and behaviors that won't necessarily be good or healthy for anyone. He's doing bad things as a result of a bad mindset, and he hasn't had the opportunity to heal from this bad mindset because he can't do it alone. It's very hard to heal alone, and to fix an unhealthy mindset alone, which is again, a theme that's been shown to us time and time again. And again, c!Wilbur's mindset is nobody's responsibility, least of all c!Tommy, who is a kid with his own trauma and issues, but c!Wilbur has been alone so long that he hasn't even been able to benefit solely from at least having somebody with him to positively influence him.

This doesn't excuse harm or stress he caused to c!Tommy, and c!Tommy would be perfectly in the right to distance himself from c!Wilbur if he so chooses, but it does explain a lot of c!Wilbur's actions and show that he's not some irredeemable monster. He makes mistakes, yes, but he's been trapped in an unhealthy mindset, with unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms, for so long, without ever getting much external love or support to help him out of that dark place. It makes sense that he isn't going to change overnight, and it would be a long process where he would most likely make more mistakes out of fear, or trauma, or any other factor. But one can't act like he's evil, or irredeemable, because he's not. c!Wilbur is a scared, traumatized guy who desperately doesn't want to lose everything he believes he has left, and from that desperation, comes actions and behaviors that end up hurting those around him, as well as himself.

It's important to hold c!Wilbur accountable for his actions, yes, but, there's a good chance he can change when he gets external love and support, so we can't act like he's acting out of pure malice or evil when he hasn't, for so long.

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 16

Previous: How Cricket Got Her Name 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader/OFC/You

Genre: Secret AgentAU, AgentAU, Government Agent AU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 3.04K

Warnings: Swearing 

Summary: Our lovely P.I. goes on the search for Min Yoongi, and stumbles into the identity of the mystery man with Taehyung. 

(this is... rough? did not expect it to be so long...) 

Missing Min Yoongi

Present Day

           My sister always tells me she’s given me all she can, that she can’t help me past my one favor a year. It’s a ploy, a deception, a boldfaced lie she tells at work or anytime we’re in earshot of anyone else. Does she misuse her government clearance? Yes. Does she defy laws and challenge the ethical code? Yes. Has she ever gotten caught? No. You’d think the government would put more tabs on her, considering her sister is a registered and licensed PI, but no, no one seems to bat an eye.

           Min Yoongi, Park Yoongi, Yoongi, is nonexistent. I barely understand what he did at Lee Enterprises, let alone how he ended up bedding Euna. He supposedly comes from no money, no name to build off of, nothing. His grades were fine, his college experience came and went with nary a note of youthful rebellion. Now, now that he’s no longer at Enterprises, I cannot fucking find him. Nothing on the web, nothing in the statewide system, nothing in the national system. No death certificates, no marriage licenses, nothing.

           All I’ve got are his charges, well, Euna’s charges against him.

           Cheating in the 1st degree, no proof, no photos or receipts or basic evidence of his behavior. She had nothing but her recollection of the fight they had, and minimal information on what led to the break up. From her manifesto, it seems that Yoongi was pulling away and she clung to him, claws drawing blood, trying to get him to stay. He didn’t, clearly. With only that to go off of, it’s no wonder I can’t find Min Yoongi, and I’m beginning to think that just maybe, Min Yoongi doesn’t exist. He’s her Snuffleupagus, and I’m starting to not believe.

           While I’m unsure if Yoongi exists, I do know a person who does.

           The man with Taehyung.

           Spectacled and broad shouldered, quaffed hair and arms the size of tree trunks, this man exists. He goes to the gym regularly, religiously, makes his coffee at home, and frequents his local nursery. The man is obsessed with plants, it seems unhealthy. Multiple days a week he’s carrying one, or more, I have photos of him watering them, speaking to them… He tends to them with such care, such love, it’s mesmerizing. He goes to work, some corporation, and once a week meets Taehyung. They’re clearly pals, best friends, brothers. They laugh and eat and enjoy one another. It’s cute, their friendship date. Once in a while, Jimin joins them. The three laugh uproariously and often draw attention for their volume. The unidentified man doesn’t seem to understand how loud he is, his baritone resonating enough for me to hear.

           I haven’t intentionally bumped into the three of them, yet, but I’ve stationed myself near enough to hear bits and pieces of their conversations. They never discuss work, only music they’re listening to, books they’re reading, podcasts, plants, general culture. Have I written down a few of the artists and podcasts they listen to? Yes. Do I feel dirty about it? Yes.

           But it’s the job, and I tail them for a month before a package arrives. A package with my name on it, waiting outside my apartment door. It’s not addressed, no stamps or packing label. It’s new, not reused as a shipping box or gifted for the umpteenth time, no dingy tape sticking to its brown coating. The box is sitting, like it’s appeared out of thin air. A secure building is only as secure as the tenants make it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the owner snuck in behind some dummy who didn’t see the harm in letting a potential rapist, stalker, murder, into the building. Taking the package inside, and as my blood continues to cool and chills run down my spine, I delicately open it.

           I know, it could be a bomb. However, the only thought calming me down is the knowledge that my life has never once been a Shonda Rhimes production and thus, I’m not really worried this package is a bomb. Frankly, that’s far more sophisticated than any of the people I’ve worked for and gives them too much credit.

           Inside, there are copious amounts of surveillance photos and a note, written in a script that I’ve seen before.

           “That was your last warning / The line has been drawn and you’re bleeding / Next time, face to face is how we’ll be meeting”  

           Whoever heard of a stalker rhyming?

           I bag the evidence to toss under my bed so Jungkook won’t find it and pull out my list of potential threats.

Check It Once, Check It Twice

William Daniels

Cheated on his wife of 5 years with a stewardess who flew almost exclusively on his flights (big shock)

Threatened to ban me from American Airlines -  Jokes on him, I don’t fly American

Photos in the act & audio recordings

Wife divorced him immediately

He has to pay alimony out the nose

Lives in the area

Allanah McMahon

Arrested and tried for insider trading and embezzlement

Discovered who I was when I was subpoenaed to testify

Still in jail

My testimony added a few years to her sentence … oops

Cassie Harrington

Set up a Multi-Level Marketing scheme

Tried to hide out in Hawaii – but changed her Instagram to private after I’d already followed her

Ordered to pay back all the money she stole

On parole

Adam Gregory

Tried to run an illegal adoption agency for homosexual, non binary couples

Paid a fine and on parole – forbidden from creating any LLC’s or Incorporating

Brian Welch

Pissed that I found evidence of his partner cheating but turned him in on charges of possession of child pornography

In jail for kiddy porn and for threatening my life

His husband got everything despite the infidelity

           You acquire quite detailed list of people who want to threaten your life on the daily, but then again, wasn’t it Audre Lorde who said “I’m deliberate and afraid of nothing?” I can’t be afraid. If I’m afraid, they have the power. They have the power to intimidate me, to run my life for me, to make my decisions. I will not back down because they got caught. But I will protect myself, I will keep my license for my gun up and go to the shooting range often. I will strengthen the locks and security of my apartment, and I will ask Jungkook to stay over more, or sleep at his.

           I will not back down, not when Lee Euna has paid me what seems like the cost of tuition at Princeton for a year and wants answers. We signed a contract, didn’t we?

           And who am I if my word is no longer worth anything?

           Instead of harping on the sickening feeling that I’m being watched 24/7, I run through my plans for bumping into Taehyung and his friends. In the weeks that I’ve continued to follow him, he’s solidified Wednesday’s as his night for dinner with friends, and Thursdays as his cultural exploration. He goes to museum openings, concerts, movies, plays, clubs, all on Thursdays. While those nights are fun for me to watch and put on my expense account, it’s Wednesdays that I adore. I love following him from his house to the restaurants and am excited each week to see what he and his friends have chosen.

          This week, it’s an authentic Mexican restaurant. Slipping my coat on, I give them a few minutes before following in.

           The sound of mariachi welcomes me into the yellow painted restaurant. The furniture, dark mahogany against the vibrant walls, is full of people. I note the variety of sombreros, the different colors and patterns, the meanings hidden within the stitchwork. It’s not a large restaurant, but big enough to fit a few large groups of 7-10 people, and plenty of space for smaller groups such as the three men. The hostess asks if I want to sit at the bar, and I request a table near the men. Sitting a few feet away, I’m able to pick up their conversation easily. Instead of jotting it down, I hit record and let the metaphorical tape play.

           “Oh, it wasn’t that bad!” The mystery man says.

           “It was awful, Taehyungie couldn’t stop laughing, every time he hit the ball it went flying in the wrong direction,” Jimin says.

           “I was trying so hard!” Taehyung laughed.

           “That’s the problem, you were trying too hard,” The man tells him. “You’re too pure of heart.”

           “I am not,” Taehyung shook his head.

           “I know, you’ve experienced a lot, Tae,” Jimin says.

           “Joon, here’s the question,” Taehyung says, and I’m momentarily distracted by the utterance of the name, Joon. “You get to pick next week, we heading back to that barbeque place?”

           Jimin erupts in another fit of laughter, Taehyung following suit. It’s cute, watching them interact. I wonder if Jungkook has friends he does things like this with… those nights we aren’t together, if he has friends to spend his time with.

           I wait until they’ve left to take a glance at the signed bill on their table, Taehyung Kim is scribbled, no evidence of the other men, and I’m about to bag evidence when I hear my name.

           “Y/N?” Taehyung asks.

           “Taehyung! That was you!” I smile.

           “Have you been here the whole time?” Taehyung’s eyebrows express more than anyone’s I’ve ever seen.

           “I, yeah. I wasn’t sure it was you and Jimin. I didn’t want to interrupt,” I tell him.

           “Oh, you could’ve! Don’t worry about them, we’ve been friends a long time,” Taehyung smiles, it’s boxy and wide, the edges curling as his eyes soften.

           I’ve already started my dance, a waltz to an even tempo and I’ve got the next five paces planned. “Who was that new guy?”

           “Why, you single?” Taehyung smirks, his lips no longer joyful but devious.

           “I just was curious,” I reply, “And no, I’m not single, remember?”

           “Oh yes, yes, Jungkook,” Taehyung recalls with a nod.

           “You, Jimin and that other guy, go way back?” I lead him, it’s easy to lead Taehyung, he’s pure of heart, the most honest intentions in his eyes.

           “Mm, yes,” He continues smiling at me.

           “Your dinner looked fun, I’ll definitely be coming back to this place,” I tell him. It’s true, maybe I will bring Jungkook by one night when I know these three men won’t be around.

           “Yeah, we like it. We try a new restaurant every week. It’s a fun no work zone,” His arms are relaxed at his sides, one hand slipping slowly into his pocket, his cardigan open and glasses pressed close to his ebony eyes.

           “I like that, no work zone,” I agree, I wish I had one of those.

           “Yes, it helps clear the mind,” Taehyung tells me.

           “Do the three of you work together?” I inquire.

           “Kind of, we have a lot of the same shared interests,” he sidesteps.

           I nod, the final step in our dance presenting itself. “Very cool, well I don’t want to keep you from Jimin and –

           “Joon, yeah, very considerate of you. Maybe I’ll see you at the dog park again?” He asks.

           “Oh god, I hope not, Maisie is a nightmare,” I laugh.

           “Well have a good night, Y/N, take care!” He says as he walks out the door. I stand, watching, pretending to not notice how he gets in the car swiftly, not looking back.

           Joon.

           Joon.

           Joon.

           What kind of a name is Joon? If Taehyung and Jimin, and Jungkook, and Seokjin… and Yoongi, are all Korean, must Joon be short for something Korean?

           Glancing at my phone, it’s only 8:30PM, if I hurry, I can get in another few hours of work before I’m overcome with exhaustion and anxiety. But what will I find?

Oh Joon

Kim Joon

Lee Joon

Joon-Ho

Joon-Hee

Joon-Hyuk

Joon-Ki

Joon-Tae

Joon-Young

Byung-Joon

Ha-Joon

Hee-Joon

Hyung-Joon

Jae-Joon

Kyung-Joon

Jae-Joon

Kyung-Joon

Yong-Joon

Nam-Joon

Joon-Su

Ye-Joon

           Not to mention add in the top 5 Korean last names, and I’ve got hundreds of possibilities. Luckily, I can run the name against the address of the apartment building Taehyung picked Joon up from. Being a PI means I have access to the state databases, which gives me names and addresses. In the building, there’s one Joon, a Namjoon, Kim Namjoon. I pull the information before digging into my search.

           Unlike the seemingly nonexistence of Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon is present. Every search result yields a perfectly manicured article dating anywhere from the year of his birth to age sixteen, and then, much like everyone else on this case, the trail begins to run cold. Whatever happened to him during high school, still radiates through his file. Whether he’s shaken it or not, that’s the question.

           No known career or job at all, his status as a prodigy in math, linguistics and rhetoric is astonishing. One of the highest IQ’s of recent memory, he’d mastered calculus by the time he was 8, besting PhD’s by 13, and then in a blaze of glory, disappearing by 16. He was studied, written about, documented, photographed, and somehow managed to be nominated for a Nobel Prize… how he accomplished all of that during puberty is beyond me. Not only does he accomplish that, but then, disappears completely, without a trace. How?

I’m ready to pack it in when someone steps into my office.

           “I saw the light on,” She says.

           “Ms. Lee, what do I owe this surprise visit?” I ask. This is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do tonight.

           “I wanted to, to talk to you,” She takes a few steps forward, pausing to ask for unspoken permission.

           “Please, sit. What did you want to talk to me about?” I lean back, hoping she can’t see the bags forming under my eyes or the tears from the yawn I’m stifling.

           “I wanted to tell you about, about why I need you to find Min Yoongi,” Euna informs me. She’s dressed in what can only be described as winter white, and only as a cashmere sweatsuit. Never have I ever seen such glamor in my dingy office. I feel bad that she’s risking the integrity of her outfit by being here.

           “Oh, okay,” I sit up and reach for a notebook. “Do you want me to write this down?”

           “No, you don’t need to. We can just talk between women, between friends,” Euna’s voice is soft. The slack in her jaw, the demur manner in which her hands are placed on her lap, it’s evident she doesn’t know how to be girlfriends. Raised by her family, groomed to take over, friends was never a word in her vocabulary.

           “I wanted you to know that I really saw a future with Yoongi,” She starts. “You know that place in your heart where you hold all your hopes?”

           “Yes,” I say hesitantly.

           Her eyes narrow in warning, “Do you have someone, someone who’s beginning to fill that space?”

           “Um, yeah,” I reply.

           “I thought that’s what Yoongi was. I thought we were, we were building something. Jun-Seo had Jimin, they thought they were building an illustrious future together, but one day he disappeared too.” She pinches the slight bridge of her nose, inhaling slowly to steady her nerves. “I don’t know what changed in our relationship. Yoongi didn’t want me anymore, he didn’t want to be around me, or with me at all. A switch flipped, like one day he realized he didn’t love me in the first place. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why, but when your entire future is destroyed, do you stand back and watch it burn?”

           “Do you want me to answer that?” I ask.

           “Sure, what I did after that was terrible, but it was within reason. Everything I did was within reason. I tried to hold onto him, I did what I thought was right to get him to stay and he just, ran. Bolted, broke up with me on the phone like I’m Taylor Swift in 2012. Maybe I am,” Euna rolls her eyes, the comparison both too true and too terrifying. “At least Seokjin had the kindness to break up with me in person. But Yoongi? The coward! He knew I loved him. He knew I would carry his child, would marry him, would love him eternally and then some. I would’ve done anything for him. Even after he refused to go family dinners or go on trips with Seo and Jimin, after he started lying and cheating and stealing. He broke my heart, shattered it. If anyone is to blame for what happened after our relationship, it’s him.”

           Interested peaked, I inquire “What happened?”

           “It’s in my document,” She snaps.

           “The handwritten one?” I clarify.

           Rolling her delicate ebony irises, “Yes, of course.”

           “The abortion, the embezzlement, insider trading?” I try to rattle off the accusations she’d detailed. Somewhere I had a list and had sorted them by man, but damn, there were a lot of them.

           “Yes,” She snips.

           “That’s all true?” I ask again. The look she gives me is unwarranted, this is the first time in months, nearly a year, that she has sat down with me and discussed the charges. I am well within my right as her Private Investigator to ask clarifying questions.

           “Do you make a conscious decision to not believe your clients? Am I not paying you enough Y/N?” Euna snaps.

           “I’m sorry,” I respond.

           “I should go, I expect next week at our meeting you will have an update on the mystery man,” She stands.

           “Yes, yes, I will,”

           “Good, oh, there was a note under your door. I didn’t pick it up,” She turns and walks, stepping gingerly over the note. Scrambling behind her, I pick up the folded paper, and scrawled in crystal clear letters it reads:

           Cricket, was driving past when I saw the light on. Why are you working? Come to mine when you’re done, it’s been three restless nights without you.

          XO – Bunny 

           Fuck me, I love him.

Next: Cricket & Bunny Pt. 1 

[fourrarri]

Dear Lance,

My first time ever trying to make chocolate of any kind, and believe me, store bought would’ve been easier. Problem was, couldn’t really find anything that I couldn’t see you forgetting about the next day if you didn’t just deadass call my attempts at romance BORING. So, being a man that lives life on the wild side & has a knack for risk taking, you get to be the first person to sample the only truffles I’ve ever made. I hope you like them, & if you don’t ya better lie to me & tell me you did motherfucker. There are two flavors, you’ll have to tell me which one you liked better. Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤️ —Joel

The mentioned truffles are artfully arranged on a small tray beside the note. Each one half wrapped in delicate, colored foil indicating the flavor. The golden foil encasing the gin & tonic truffles coated in Ivoire white chocolate, sweet & creamy . The red foil presenting the mexican chocolate truffles coated in Ghirardelli dark chocolate, spicy heat.

To say Joel had been at a loss as to what to get Lance would’ve been an understatement. Exactly what the fuck did anyone get for a man who bought luxury sports cars for fun at any gift giving occasion much less Valentine’s day? Ultimately, he’d decided simple was best, choosing to make his gift rather than buy the club owner anything.

He had been mostly joking about lying to him to save him some hurt feelings if the truffles tasted like trash. But he definitely hadn’t been when he’d written his hopes that the other would enjoy them.

         💸 ║ ❛   —————    Saying  that  he’s  surprised  about  the  little  gift  placed  neatly  on  the  desk  of  his  office  would  be  an  UNDERSTATEMENT.  It’s  not  only  surprising,  it  is  indeed  shocking.  In  a  wholesome  way.  But  still,  completely  unexpected.  Lance  even  almost  forgot  about  that  day,  since  it  never  held  any  special  meaning  for  him.  It’s  not  like  he  thinks  he  is  undeserving  of  love,  but  it’s  a  little  COMPLICATED  for  a  guy  like  him.  And  for  some  reason,  without  even  starting  to  read  the  letter  he  could  tell  that  it’s  from  JOEL.  Not  because  of  a  certain  reason,  but  his  thoughts  just  immediately  threw  this  man’s  face  into  his  mind.  It’s  a  feeling  hard  to  explain,  even  to  himself.  The  truffles  sure  look  nice.  Something  Lance  wouldn’t  expect  from  a  guy  like  him.  

          The  fact  that  Joel  had  the  GUTS  to  do  this,  even  leaving  a  letter  with ... semi-nice  words  in  it  IMPRESSES  Lance  a  lot.  Never  in  his  life  has  anyone  ever  put  that  much  effort  into  making  him  feel  this  SPECIAL.  But  at  the  same  time  it  just  makes  him  wonder  about  Joel’s  intentions.  He’s  a  nice  guy,  so  him  having  any  bad  intentions  is  actually  out  of  question.  At  least  for  now.  If  it’s  not  money  he  wants,  what  is  it  then ?  Lance  got  to  know  kindness  in  only  one  way,  and  that  is  ‘ if  people  are  nice  to  you,  they  WANT  something  from  you ‘.  So�� what  is  it ?

          After  reading  the  letter,  his  attention  immediately  goes  to  the  truffles.  Looking  at  them  still  makes  it  hard  to  believe  that  those  are  actually  for  HIM.  His  diet  usually  does  not  allow  sweets  like  this,  but  then  again;  no one  cares  about  a  diet  on  Valentine’s  Day  anyways.  He  knows  that  much.  So  he  takes  his  time  to  properly  rate  the  taste  of  these  truffles,  noticing  that  he  can’t  really  believe  Joel’s  story  about  them  being  the  ONLY  TRUFFLES  EVER  MADE  by  him.  Either  he’s  lying  or  he’s  a  natural.  These  things  are  really  good.  CHARMING  indeed.  The  Gin  &  Tonic  flavor  seems  to  hit  the  spot,  what  a  daring  yet  delicious  combination.  Much  to  Lance’s  favor.  

          Taking  his  phone  out  of  his  pockets,  he  moves  around  the  desk  to  take  a  seat  on  the  chair,  still  enjoying  every  single  bite  of  Joel’s  creations.  It  puts  a  smile  on  his  face,  —and  he  feels  like  an  IDIOT,  considering  he’s  sitting  in  his  office  all  alone.  Oh, well.  His  fingers  swipe  over  the  screen  to  open  the  chat  with  Joel.  He  would  call,  but  he  rather  keeps  on  eating  the  truffles.

[ 📲 → banana joel ] —— found the nice little surprise in my office [ 📲 → banana joel ] —— gracias papí i feel honored  [ 📲 → banana joel ] —— i dont really have anything to give to u except for some blowjobs so i hope that’ll do [ 📲 → banana joel ] —— u can come around if u want, i’m here all day. not only for the blowjobs i mean like u don’t have to come only for this [ 📲 → banana joel ] —— yeah well u get my point. i’d be happy to see u

          A  weird  way  of  saying  thank  you  for  something  so  pure.  Lance  is  aware  of  that.  But  in  his  defense,  he’s  UNPREPARED .  He’s  never  gotten  a  gift  like  that,  so  he  never  had  to  put  much  thought  into  thanking  someone  for  it.  Well,  here’s  hoping  it  doesn’t  make  him  look  too  trashy  in  front  of  Joel.  He  wants  to  show  his  honest  gratitude,  he  just  doesn’t  know  how.

[missn11]

The Possible Meaning Behind The Malkavian Armors In VTMB

I had been planning to write this for the longest time but never could quite get it done until now! XD 

So I’m sure that you all have seen the wacky armors that the Malkavian PC can buy in Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines and just thought it was another thing that added to the fishmalkiness to the VTMB’s Malkavian PC but like the Malk PC themselves, I think there is more to the outfits than we might think.

of course this is purely my own opinion and I could be reading way too much into the armors but I digress.

((All Screenshots of the armors are from this guide of all the armors in VTMB https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1850939973)) 

Light clothing and Santa Monica  

The first outfit that you start the game with for both the male and female Malkavian PC highlights their vulnerability of their new situation. This shows of how not only their sire seduced them into letting their guard down to be able embrace them but also the dangerous political situation they have been thrust into, a vulnerable pawn at the mercy of being taken advantaged by Kindred older than them. Though despite that vulnerability the PC has, they still have it better than the Thin-bloods at the beach who are often pushed around or hunted by other Kindred for being who they are. https://whitewolf.fandom.com/wiki/Thin-blooded 

Santa Monica is where the Malk PC spends most their time in this outfit, getting their first taste of being used as a pawn in the Voreman sisters’/Bertram Thung’s feud. Even when they gain victories in their time in Santa Monica (especially upon destroying the warehouse) the shovel-heads attacking and kidnapping the PC highlight further how vulnerable they are and still in need of being saved by Nines Rodriguez.

Heavy clothing and Downtown

So the second outfit you can get in the game in Downtown is where the outfits for the female and male Malkavian PC gets starts to become more interesting. Now walk with me on this one and the later outfits. I think that these outfits give a hint of what Downtown has in store for the PC. And how you get these outfits in the game aside from the body armor, is always procured by yourself, no one gives you the protection you so need, aside from Heather Poe. 

The second female Malk PC outfit, a sexy cowgirl outfit, highlights the situation in Downtown between the Camarilla, the Sabbat and the Anarchs. A Mexican standoff if you will. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_standoff neither of the three factions present in Downtown can strike at each other without possibly losing, so instead they all in a stand still until one of them makes the first move. The female Malkavian PC is a slightly more covered but her cleavage is still shown and her bottom is now more exposed. Again showing how much she has to watch her back with the intrigues and dangers that all three factions pose for her. But in a way she may be (depending how you play the game) using her more seemingly vulnerability as an advantage when it comes to mortals, e.i seduction.

The second male Malk PC outfit on the other hand, a pest control outfit  highlights the disease the plague bearers had spread in Downtown and of course the ‘pests’ of those who threaten the Masquerade, e.i Patty and Simon who can either killed or given to Pisha for her to consume ( like flys to a spider or preying mantis) Boris is also a pest for Venus that she wants us to kill for her, so she can have full ownership of her club, Confession, without having to be forced into sex for late payments. And to both the Camarilla and Anarchs the Sabbat are also pests that are needing to be taken care of. Taking care of these pests seem to be never ending and only some of the quests actually give you rewards in more than EXP.

Yet the Malk PC is starting to grow in strength and become something of notice for those important to the faction Leaders, (LaCroix, Nines and Strauss) even if they aren’t quite ready to fully stand on their own. 

Light Leather and Hollywood

Hollywood is where the PC starts to see and get more entangled with the political situation in LA, starting to learn how to play the intrigue game to their advantage, perhaps gain or lose possible future support from either the Camarilla or the Anarchs ( the support gained from the Camarilla and the Anarch can be also gained back in Downtown but you can lose support from Struass, e.i the Camarilla by telling Isaac who made the Gargoyle hiding in the Chinese Theater. And is also shown of how much a threat the Sabbat are.  

The third male Malk PC outfit, a sewer worker outfit, hints at the eventual trip down into the sewers to rescue the Nosferatu from Andrei’s monsters’ siege. With how fully covered the male Malk PC is now, shows how far he has come from the true vulnerably of the beginning of the game and despite the odds, is more prepared to take on a army of monsters by themselves than most. (either through combat or sneaking, depending on how the player has build their character! XD) 

The third female Malk PC outfit, a sexy cop outfit, hints at the sleazy and illegal goings on in the underbelly of Hollywood that need the police’s attention but due to corruption and the secrecy needed for the Masquerade that falls to us to investigate and bring to Justice. In the PC’s investigate into the origins of a snuff film of monsters killing and eating a woman trapped inside a flesh decorated mansion, they discover anyone who has anything to do with the illegal tape is quickly killed. With Isaac’s help, the PC tracks down the source of monsters to Andrei and attempts to bring him to Justice by fighting him. 

Funny enough, the sexy cop outfit also hints at the sidequests where you can protect and serve the Masquerade. But it’s not just that simple as shown with Julius, the serial killer and the Gargoyle all being victims of their circumstances. 

Julius is a Thin-blood that has been abandoned by the rest of Kindred society and only breaks the Masquerade out of ignorance, as well the need to make a living for himself. (provided that David Hatter does pay him for his ‘ideas’) 

The serial killer is a Gangrel that was doing all the killings, turns out to have been avenging his family when they were killed in a break in gone wrong. The Gargoyle hiding in the Chinese theater, had escaped from the Tremere Chantry and was a creation of Strauss. 

Gargoyles in Vampire the Masquerade are a bloodlines created by the Tremere to serve them as scouts, warriors and sentinels.But their creation is not so simple as embracing, rather they created in a ritual. https://whitewolf.fandom.com/wiki/Gargoyle_(VTM)   

You can either help them or kill them, Julius can spared so he can flee out of town. The serial killer can be convinced to no longer go on anymore killing sprees now that he avenged his family. And the Gargoyle can talked into joining Isaac against the Camarilla and as well the Tremere.

Heavy Leather and Body Armor, Chinatown and The Endgame 

Chinatown is when the PC really begins to become so powerful that Kindred society, especially the leaders of LA faction are starting to take notice of them. Now I feel for both the female and male Malk PC final outfits are now showing the great strength the Malkavian PC gained through their trials by fire their journey has constantly brought. 

The final female Malk PC outfit, a black leather outfit that nearly covers her whole body aside from her cleavage and a few rips on her bottom and thigh and a painted face that cries blood and the words ‘Exxxploit me’ Some would say that the ‘Exxxploit me’ on the back is further showing of the unnecessary sexualisation of the female Malkavian but I don’t that’s the only thing going on here. 

By this point in the story the PC has endured countless dangers and plots of LaCroix, Ming Xiao, the Society of Leopold and the Sabbat has thrown their way and always managed to come out on top. And not only that, the PC (especially a Malkavian) is without doubt fully aware of how every single Kindred in LA has used and exploited them for their own gain in one form or another throughout their journey and perhaps bitter about it. But with gaining power at a fast pace and by the end the PC is now able to stand fully on their own, either choosing to side with which faction they cultivated favor from or leave LA effectively siding with themselves, no longer the helpless pawn of the city’s Kindred.

I believe the ‘Exxxploit me’ is mocking those who would attempt to use or exploit them, highlighting that they are beyond or at the very least aware of the schemes of the older Kindred of LA.  

On a more personal note, when I play as the female Malkavian, I tend to pick the ‘Lone Wolf’ ending and I feel that the meaning I’m trying to get across about the ‘Exxxploit me’ on the back is shown quite well.

The final male Malk PC outfit, a big white fur coat and a Cat in the Hat style hat

shows that the male Malk PC have grown so much in strength and isn’t afraid to show it by wearing such a flamboyant outfit. His body is nearly all covered up except for his chest, perhaps as a challenge to his enemies to strike at him if they dare or even able to. 

Like with the ‘Exxxploit me’ on the female Malk PC’s back, the male Malk PC’s outfit is also showing that he is no longer so easily exploited anymore.  

Phew, that was a long post that I spent hours writing! XD I hope you all enjoyed reading this essay on the Malkavian outfits of VTMB.

Many thanks to @leadflowers​ for giving me the encouragement to write this by saying that you were interested in my thoughts on the Malkavian outfits! :D 

[vaguely-concerned]

the mandalorian ep 6 reactions!

spoilers ahoy!

- the PALPABLE TERROR when mando realizes they’re going to use his ship and he’s not getting out of it :’) this poor poor man. the whole episode did such a good job with that ever-present tension born of the adult fear that very very bad people are in a position to hurt his kid. there’s something about sensing his love for the baby through the fear and stress that rises from it that’s so satisfying even if it’s nerve-racking haha 

- me, on the record as having called the razor crest interior depressing and sparse, listening to these assholes talking shit about it: “hey uh actually. have you considered. Fuck You this is my dad’s house and it’s perfect???!?!”

(the fact that it’s so old and janky that neither the empire nor the new republic know what to do with it tho fdsfkdslahf hilarious I love this ship)  

- the way he quietly stood vigil over the cot and just like. clearly stopped breathing for a long while there when they found the baby anyway... poetic goddamn cinema  

- some PEAK comedy acting from whoever was in the mando suit when that devil dude wrecked the big patrol droids. “I uh. well. ah. hm” fsdfhsadlkf just look at his body language next to all the others, he’s like five times more expressive than anyone else even though he’s still pretty low key as a person. so good

- listen how far into a romantic entanglement they ever made it seems to be deliberately left up to interpretation, but xi’an’s bitter-ass mocking “This is the way” is, to me, the hallmark of a gal who didn’t get to second base and probably didn’t even touch the first unless you count giving a beskar-flavoured peck on the cheek lol. AS IF she’s seen his face, at most his glove slid up a bit once and she saw a sliver of bare wrist. I think mando’s initial strong reaction is a fakeout for the audience and he’s actually internally going ‘...aw fuck’ because he screwed over her brother. 

- this episode really cemented my feeling that the no-taking-off-the-helmet thing is a metaphor for vulnerability (and specifically in relation to cultural and personal trauma). when mayfield is like ‘let’s see your eyes’ it’s so invasive and awful ugh 

- I love how willing this show is to joyfully roll around in tropes. this is the seven samurai/magnificent seven one! this is the jailbreak/heist one! (ooh I hope we get a pure heist one at some point) here’s a mexican standoff played straight! there’s a purity to it that makes me very happy and reminds me a lot of clone wars. tropes can be so fun when you take them seriously! 

- I feel bad about it but zero the droid and mando’s sincere distress at him piloting his ship... both endlessly entertaining to me

- I get the sense that mando really hasn’t changed that much, ran and xi’an are mostly projecting onto him and he’s staying deliberately blank to let them do it. the ruthless stuff he does has a pattern even before he finds baby yoda: it’s like in the first episode with the guy he bisects with a door (as you do when you’re him) -- he’s trying to deal with him non-lethally right up until the dude shoots at him first. as we’ve repeatedly seen he gives you one chance and if you misuse that chance you’re toast. even qin knows that ‘aren’t you a man of honour?’ is the best shot at getting out of it alive when even the promise of more money doesn’t do anything. (and yes, qin, he is, which is why you and ran are dead lol) anyway I love one (1) buckethead dad with a penchant for karmic justice 

I am willing to believe he was even more emotionally dead inside when he was younger and did some messed up shit because of it, though. he seems to me more likely to be dangerous out of numbness/indifference and going along with bad people than active malice. (not that this absolves him. set boundaries, mando! work on your self worth baby get better friends!! or at least more friends who don’t actively try to murder you the bar is so low here)

- mando stalking people like a horror movie monster and still leaving them alive but smack dab in the middle of some Poetic Justice (while implying he’s avenging the dead New Republic guard in the process) was Good For Me on several levels 

- obligatory ‘mando please rethink the flame thrower’ point (to be fair to him he’s probably been using it for intimidation/crowd control ala the shootout in ep 3 and it’s quite effective for that, it just isn’t working out for him in hand-to-hand scenarios lol)

- the parallels between mando’s little (surprise not!)murder rampage and baby yoda playing hide and seek with that droid... MORE goshdang poetic cinema!!!! like father like son I am crying 

- I’ve seen some people be discontented that these last few eps don’t drive the plot forward and maybe they don’t in the traditional sense but I’m not sure I agree -- I think they’re making you feel the precariousness of mando’s situation by showing the nitty gritty of the increasingly desperate measures he has to take to keep them afloat & alive, and that he doesn’t really have any enduring close relationships outside of baby yoda; he’s alone and has no one to turn to practically or emotionally. they’re doing a lot of characterization groundwork and the whole thing has been set up as more of a slice of life, down to earth and day to day story from the beginning. for me personally that’s really enjoyable but of course that’s a personal taste sort of thing! I get the feeling that they’re building things up slowly and that the Big Plot tm will unfold (hopefully) over several seasons. well I mean definitely at least two seasons haha

[brianachristine]

Tips From A Traveling Vegan

Links included

I’ve been eating an entirely plant based diet for 15 months. In San Diego, very close to La Jolla, this was pretty easy. When I first converted some friends were concerned I wouldn’t be able to maintain this lifestyle as a frequent traveler.

I love when “friends” project their personal inadequacies on to me.

Unsolicited advice anyone?

Well you’re already reading so I take it you’re interested.

I’ve traveled to London, Ireland, Budapest, and many cities in the US and easily kept my vegan lifestyle. That’s right, 12 months ago I went to Europe! I know that’s hard to believe, but that’s not the point.

And while we’re on the topic of things that aren’t the point, this isn’t a post to share the benefits of plant based eating for any skeptics.

This is a post about where I have found THE best places to dine plant based in the US.

I was going to save this post for a later date after traveling to a few more states - but I had no idea Austin, TX was going to make my list of one of the most vegan friendly cities.

Yes, even more than San Diego.

Let’s get to the list of delicious plant based eats you MUST try.

One of the first plant based meals I had before I went all out plant based was Native Foods in Chicago. You’ll be happy to know this is a chain restaurant - so there just might be one near you!

I don’t remember what I ordered and I stopped using Yelp so I can’t go back and look.

Why did I stop using Yelp after using for 10 years? Because the restaurants that claim to be vegan are liars and Yelp doesn’t monitor that shit.

Uh hmm… excuse me. What I meant to politely say was that I switched to Vegan Maps which is only moderately better. It doesn’t give you all of your options because it won’t mention ANY restaurants that serve meat EVEN if they have an amazing vegan option.

Ok, now that you know how to find actual vegan food every time, let’s go to the next amazing place.

While visiting Seattle I went to Vitality Bowls for lunch because I love me some Açaí bowls 😋 I know you’re thinking that you have an açaí place down the street - and that’s great too! Soooooooo many foods are naturally plant based! Like fruit. Just one thing, honey isn’t considered vegan so you might opt for agave on your bowl depending on your beliefs about bees.

Hands down my favorite place to get plant based meals ANY TIME OF DAY is VegeNation in Las Vegas. I would even venture to say that you should travel there just to try it. I’m not going to say EVERY meal knocks it out of the park - but 80-85% of the menu is phenomenal. I know because I ate there everyday on a weekend trip to Vegas and once on the way to our Airbnb adventure.

Let’s talk sushi. San Diego has a fantastic vegan sushi place on Convoy called The Yasai. If you know anything about San Diego, you know Convoy is where it’s at when it comes to great food. I’m hoping to find a comparable option to this sushi place soon.

I have a teetering view of my next recommendation. It's a chain with multiple locations in the US called Veggie Grill. In the past they had so many amazing choices that it was hard to decide what to order. But after COVID, somehow their options became so slim I was left with only one thing on the menu I enjoyed ordering. I’m hoping this will change with time or a different state.

This next one I’ve mentioned before, but our fav vegan spot we enjoyed many meals at in Denver was Watercourse foods. Complete lifesavers for our Thanksgiving spread as well.

Ok, now let’s talk Austin, and most importantly, Mexican food. Holy Guacamole! Mission Street Burrito has the tastiest breakfast burrito quite possibly in the world. This thing is 1.5 lbs of pure deliciousness.

If you’re in the mood for a burger, which I realize many restaurants offer a vegan option, BUT these places have variations that will make you feel like you're at Eureka burger.

First one is Nom Burgers which has the best breakfast sandwich you’ll ever have. Breakfast is the best meal ever by the way. Second is Next Level Burger which also serves vegan milkshakes. Shout out to Nada Moo!

I'll leave you with this note. Just about every vegan place typically copies the names of food from a traditional carnivore diet. The gap in our expectations of what it is, and what we expect it to be can easily sway how we feel about the quality of our order. So set your expectations high but also reasonably.

If you enjoyed this post please let me know. I can post more tips beyond going out to eat for any plant based eaters.

[bom-bombon]

Texas?

Yeehaw

Name: Sebastian Inglesias

While Texas does have a second last name because he’s Hispanic, he decided to drop it. I know many Hispanic who have either both of their parents’ names and of only their fathers’ last name with the former being more common. Those with one last name has less complications with paperwork, applications, etc., than with those with two last names. Considering all this, I think that Texas would drop the second last name to make his life more easier.

Age: 27-29

Gender: Cis male

Ethnicity/Race: Hispanic (Mestizo)

Siblings: Coahuila (perhaps Chihuahua and Nuevo Leon too but it’s still a wip)

Height: 5′11 (180.34 cm)

He’s sad that he’s not 6′0. He may be taller than some of his fellow Mexican brethren, but he gets reminded that he’s not the tallest in the Union, or at the very least, he’s not 6′0. This annoys him to no end.

Relations:

-Arizona: They’re buddies. They both share a love for guns, have similar conservative ideologies, and they love a/c. No matter how much New Mexico tries to discourage Arizona from talking to him, Arizona just doesn’t care. He thinks that Texas is cool (which fuels his already big ego)

-Arkansas: They get along. That’s it. I suppose that sometimes he does call her Ar-kansas and she don’t talk to him for a whole day after that, but they’re cool nonetheless.

-California: They don’t like each other. He finds her annoying and thinks she’s an idiot. When she was first introduced to the states, he thought that they could be together and be some sort of duo. But they thought different things and it upset him. To him, it almost felt like betrayal because he thought he knew her and she supported and admired him. So why doesn’t she support him now? Today, they just bicker and often start arguments. Both of their egos will never let it go and make up.

-Coahuila: It’s complicated. Coahuila was enraged when Texas broke away from her and even more so when the US helped. While I’m not sure their relationship was during this time period, I do know that they didn’t talked for a while. Texas believed he was doing the right thing in following his own dreams. Though that is debatable at best. Nowadays, they get along well and Coahuila sometimes invite him to parties. Sometimes…

-Louisiana: They chill with each other. Louisiana, although criticizes him on some occasions, think he’s a nice guy. He has helped her in the past and she no doubts never forgot about it, so she helps him whenever she can. They’re also dumbasses together so that’s fun too.

-Minnesota: They’re together! Minnie is like 6’2 so she calls Texas cute for being tiny and he loves and hates it!! They are both tough as nails. For example, Minnie surprised him by beating him on a mechanical bull, Virginia complained about how strong Minnesota was during the Civil War, and Montana always remarks about how Minnie was the only other state who can keep up with her in the World Wars. And Texas is Texas. They are both incredibly sweet in relationships. Minnesota is known for being nice and it’s tru. Texas in relationships is sort of like the Latin Lover, excluding the constant need for uhh bedroom stuff. They are both gentle to each other out of respect and always get each other meaningful gifts. Not to mention the daily reminders of “you’re beautiful” or “you’re my sunshine”, they’re too pURE. They both like similar hobbies such as watching and playing football, taking care of animals, and roasting the hell out of people. Texas helps Minnie into confronting problems and people

Minnie: Idk how to tell them

Texas: It’s easy, I’ll show you how

Texas: Hey New York!

New York: I’m not listening…

Texas: New York!

New York: *looks up*

Texas: I like your shirt but I don’t like you!

She teaches him about considering other’s feelings. Sometimes Texas is too caught up about himself to realize how he’s affecting others around him and she knows this. She reminds him that people that not everyone will understand him emotionally and might take offense. Slowly, Texas thinks more often. Minnesota and Texas also love having adventures together. They would go and snowboard (though Texas has fell off a mountain one time). No matter what they’re doing, they always seem to compliment each other and have fun together. 

-Montana: They’re cowboy buddies. I would imagine them talk to each other about animals, particularly horses and cows. Since Montana is also a tough person, she and Texas loves to have small competitions with lifting or who has the most power. He sees her as a buddy and likes to talk to her, which is good because Montana herself has trouble fitting in when all people know about her is just cows and nothingness.

-New Mexico: New Mexico hates him. From what I can remember, Texas tried to claim parts of New Mexico three separate times. The last attempt was the Civil War, and with the attempt to take Santa Fe, New Mexico won’t let it go. Texas doesn’t really care about him nor seem to remember that he even exist. He mostly focuses his rivalry with Oklahoma. Plus, he think New Mexico is a bad driver.

-Oklahoma: They’re rivals. The extent of this rivalry, I’m not too sure and admittedly haven’t delved into much. What I can say is that he always honk his horn at her because she’s a terrible driver. At some point she called him Baja Oklahoma and he cried

-Tennessee: They’re friends. Tennessee is gay for him. So when the Texas Revolution was starting and the US helped out, a good chunk of the people were from Tennessee. So Tennessee helped Texas out wherever he can and that was his first friend from the US. They love to go hunting and talk about guns and stuff. Tennessee really admired him and is glad that he’s consider to be close friends with the big boi of the South. They also play music together and have nice country vibes.

-Wyoming: They’re Yeehaw buddies. They also had a relationship is perhaps early 1900s but I’m not too sure yet.

Things I don’t know how to title but it exists:

-Texas has tattoos of all his state symbols on his arms and back

-They played a “special” game of Truth or Dare. In the end, Texas threw up and vowed to never go to Vegas or hang out with Nevada for 9 months.

-Texas gave some of his friends in the Midwest and South (who aren’t Hispanic mind you) the “spicy” Mexican candies and almost all of them are more cautious about Mexican candies. Plot twist: they’re not spicy at all; they’re just weak

-Yee in the streets, haw in the sheets

-He’s bisexual

Some things about her (development? idk):

Texas has this arrogance that kinda makes it unbearable to work with at times (his closest friends can attest to this). But to be fair, this arrogance would be provoked by someone either messing with his lovely state or someone who’s just curious. Besides that, he is actually pretty charismatic, confident, and charming that attracts people despite his (non intentional) brash behavior. (It’s a joke that he purposefully made Tennessee gay). He’s also intelligent as he’s musically talented, exceeds surprisingly well in mathematics and sciences, and fluent in a couple languages such as English, German, and Vietnamese. He worked hard to be where he is and he can be closed minded in some parts but that’s because he likes to stay relatively the same. He doesn’t like a lot of change; you can say he’s afraid of it and what it might bring because he doesn’t want to lose who he truly is deep down inside. (It’s kinda funny because with this new influx of Californians, he’s stressed and upset at her more than ever).

Some quotes,, things?: 

New York: I’m hot shit and that’s the only thing I’ll take away.

Texas: Didn’t you hear her? I’m also hot shit. And that’s the power of the Texan charm ;) Checkmate, liberals.

New York: Yeah well why don’t you shut up.

Texas: You shut up

–

Northern Mariana Islands: *gives everyone a glass shot of tequila*

Everyone: *downs the shot and put their shot glass on the middle of the table*

Delaware: More please!

Ohio: No more please…

Arkansas: What the fuck was that??

Utah: Ugh, that so strong what the heck-

Texas: Can we do this every night?

–

Priest: You may now read the vows you have prepared.

Texas: I think I misunderstood the assignment.

Minnesota: Just read what you wrote, dear.

Texas: Ok *deep breath* A E I O U

–

Texas, drunk: SI YA SABEN COMO ME PONGO PA QUE ME INVITAN???

–

South Dakota: But it’s couples like you that give hope to the rest of us. Minnesota, you deserve the best, and you found it.

Texas, don’t you dare hurt her.

Everyone: *laughs*

Texas: I won’t.

Michigan: Don’t laugh. She means it.

Texas: Okay, I-I won’t

.Nebraska: Seriously, don’t hurt her.

Texas: Okay, I’m not planning on hurting her.

Indiana: You better not be

Texas: I’m not!

Ohio: Hey, Texas, you best be watching yourself

Texas: Why would any of you think I would hurt Minnesota? Y’all my friends too.

Illinois: Nah

–

1945

Tejas, a los otros estados: Me das una úlcera cada vez que me despierto y tengo que venir ‘pa trabajar para ti, para ti!

–

Texas, grabbing a toy police car: Coahuila! Can you buy me this?

Coahuila: No.

Texas: You never buy me anything!

Coahuila: You’re over 300 years old!

–

Texas: Yee in the streets, haw in the sh-

Oklahoma: No.

–

Texas, drunk: You’re so pretty,, are you seeing anyone?

Minnesota: Yeah, I’m married

Texas, crying: To.. to who?

Minnesota: You, you smol idiot *kisses his forehead*

[cobythinks]

‘Might As Well’ AU

HEYY so I this is a bullet-fic kinda thing for an AU I’ve created, and unlike my other AUs I’m not going to make a story for it and if I write anything it’ll all be one-shots of certain bits. It's mainly Roloceit with like tiny bits of Moxiety as well.

Feel free to send in asks or request one-shots for this AU! I’m very happy abt it and I loved writing this so any questions for the characters or requests for scenes would be amazing!!!

Most of it under the cut because... I got carried away and it's very long

Roman Guerra is a YouTuber/actor

Horace (Dee) McMullin is a drama teacher

Logan Wright is a science teacher at the same school that Dee works at

Roman and Dee are roommates, and though their relationship has progressed FAR past what anyone would call a friendship, they really don’t care enough to label it or even talk about what they are to each other. They both know they care about the other, and that’s all that really matters.

Roman also tends to rant in Spanish when he gets passionate, and Dee responds by saying the names of ‘Mexican food’ as a reply.

Roman: *talks in spanish*

Dee: *nods* burrito. Quesadilla. Mama Mia.

Roman: that’s not even a food, shut up.

Logan meets Dee through work, obviously, and they quickly become friends

Something about the tall, dramatic, elegant man just drives Logan insane because he’s a little shit once you get to know him and it makes no SENSE

The adorable little science teacher shouldn’t scare Dee as much as he does, but he can’t help it. Something about the way Logan is always composed makes Dee feel like he’s a serial killer or something.

Despite this, they become friends when they discover they both have a passion for psychology and have long discussions about it during lunch and when they hang out on weekends

Dee - as much as he hates it - starts to fall hopelessly in love with the other teacher. He can’t help it, just like he couldn't help but to fall in love with Roman a year and a half earlier when they met. 

Not that he’d told Roman that yet, god no. They’d both dated other people on and off while knowing each other, even if they did end up fucking after every breakup and swearing to each other they were done with the whole relationship thing. 

Roman always found someone else to sweep off their feet, and Dee always found himself hopelessly pining for someone else to make the first move

So, that’s what was happening here, and it was torture.

Logan wasn’t much better, furious that this dramatic drama teacher of all people made him feel so flustered and confused.

Then the day came that Dee brought Logan over for dinner, and he met Roman

Roman greeted him dramatically, filling the entire apartment with his electric energy as he spoke.

Oh god, there’s two of them. Logan realized in terror as the two bickered playfully back and forth, eventually challenging each other to a duel despite the fact they had a guest over.

And like most of their duels, Roman ended up kissing Dee

“Oh,” Logan said, feeling like a complete idiot

“Fuck,” Dee said, realizing that Logan now had the wrong idea

“Maybe later,” Roman said with a wink because he’s a little shit.

Dee just freaking makes a mess of everything and accidentally confesses his feelings for both of them at once and then faceplants on the couch

Roman offers Logan some lasagna because it’s getting cold

Dee feels betrayed 

but joins them for lasagna in a few minutes

Logan is utterly confused and doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything

Dee is mortified and wants to jump off the balcony

He and Roman proceed to do the titanic thing and Logan is still very confused but he agrees to take their picture

He’s Like: Sure??? I guess so??? Are we not going to address what just happened??? DOn’T FaLL yOU IDiOTs

Roman thinks it is all hilarious but he must agree that Logan is stunning

He helps to re-explain his and Dee’s relationship because Dee honestly did an awful job

And Logan is like okay

Because it makes sense now even though Roman used many slang words he did NOT understand

Oh my god these two are literally the most chaotic duo he’s ever met and usually Logan HATES chaos but he LOVES this

And so Roman - of course, it’s Roman - is the one to suggest they just go with the flow like he and Dee have been doing for the past year already, if Logan wants to

Logan has no idea what to expect but agrees that he wouldn’t mind

Horace.exe has crashed again

So they start doing whatever the hell it is that they’re doing

And if Roman is a chaos slut with Dee he is a chaos gentleman with Logan and it is BAFFLING he’s still dramatic but he’s overly chivalrous and polite and Dee is annoyed why can’t Roman hold the door open for him instead of holding it closed like a jerk after opening it for Logan

Dee and Logan just keep up their psychology discussions almost constantly and regularly have to ask Roman to finish a debate even though Roman knows NOTHING about psychology

Roman always finds an excuse not to support Dee (in a loving way)

“Roman! Tell Logan that Max Stirner-”

“I’M BUSY MAKING ALFREDO SORRY”

This doesn’t stop Dee from continuing to ask him to back him up

Roman always supports Logan in the debates despite being completely oblivious

“Roman, don’t you agree that-”

“Yes, my love. My darling. Genius whom I would die for. I agree.”

This always causes Logan distress in two ways

One: Roman didn’t listen to what he was agreeing with

Two: he is now super flustered because Roman is continuing to ramble on about how much he loves Logan

Logan turns out to know some Spanish

So now he and Roman have conversations in Spanish and Roman teaches him more and Dee just doesn’t really care

He keeps contributing using food or random words he’s picked up on and it drives Logan and Roman INSANE

And so they start dropping his proper name in conversation to either

One: make Dee think they’re mad because they used ‘Horace’

Two: make Dee think they’re gossiping about him

When really they’re talking about how much they love him OR just saying ‘Horace’ in the middle of a completely unrelated sentence

They stop doing this after they accidentally make Dee legitimately sad

It surprises both of them when they realize he’s crying after they don’t tell him what they were saying

So no more pretending to gossip about each other in Spanish

Roman offers to teach him Spanish

Dee responds to the offer by screaming ‘TORTILLA’ at the top of his lungs

Dee does not learn Spanish

Roman calls them his boyfriends first

In a youtube video title

Without warning them that they were being featured

Because he’s a little shit

Dee freaks out and tries to ask him about it but they just end up making out like they usually do when they try to have a serious conversation

Logan is okay with it and very amused at Dee’s reaction

Dee calls them his boyfriends next when he gets sick

When Dee gets sick he gets freaking delirious

Logan didn’t believe that it was the same person the first time he saw Dee when he was sick

Dee also only responds to Horace, his given name, when he’s sick and it's so hard to talk to him because they never seriously call him that

but Dee is so fucking sappy when he’s like that

And it's just pure and cute and he calls them his boyfriends

Logan calls them his boyfriends last

When introducing him to some other friends when they moved back into town

Patton Foster, a veterinarian

Virgil Storm, a weatherman (shut up he knows it's stupid his boyfriend (Patton) makes enough jokes about it as it is)

Both are baffled at how Logan managed to be dating two completely batshit crazy drama geeks

Once this happens they finally sit down and decide that yeah, they are dating

None of them say it’s exclusive, but none of them really want to date anyone else anymore anyway

Having Logan there to balance out the chaos is exactly what they needed

“I NEED A SNAKE FOR A VIDEO”

“Doesn’t Dee have a pet snake?”

“DEE YOU HAVE A PET SNAKE??”

“You’ve lived together for two years, how do you not know he has a snake in a terrarium in his room?”

“Logan I trusted you.”

“CAN I USE YOUR SNAKE”

“Only if I get to be in the video too, she gets nervous around cameras and she needs me.”

“Snakes don’t know what cameras-”

“DEAL!”

So it's just chaos and thriving in their little apartment

Roman has them in his videos sometimes, which is hugely popular among his viewers

“Hey, youtube! Today we’re throwing wet sponges at my tall boyfriend!”

“Roma- ROMAN GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SAID YOU WOULD WARN ME NEXT TIME”

“If you get water on the floor I’m not cleaning it up also watch out for the outlets you don’t want to get electrocuted.”

“That was my nerd boyfriend. I’d never throw a wet sponge at him, he doesn’t deserve it. Only my tall one deserves it.”

“I HATE YOU BOTH”

Logan and Dee both try to embarrass the other more whilst at work, which only caused a problem one or two times

“I need your help”

“With what”

“...a surprise”

“I told you I won’t help you teach them how to stage kiss anymore you always just kiss me for real and that’s not how it works.”

“But I love you.”

“fine.”

Roman and Dee regularly compete to see who can make Logan more embarrassed from compliments and it usually ends up in a cuddle pile or [REDACTED]

Dee is still positive that Logan is either a serial killer or a robot and that is one reason he enjoys making Logan embarrassed because it's hilarious to see the usually stoic teacher not know what to say

Roman, when he hears this theory, claims that Dee is the actual serial killer and he knows because he’s a ghost that’s just been haunting Dee since he killed him

Logan pretends to believe Roman’s claim and Dee wants to destroy them both.

He does… in a way *cough*

People who met Roman and Dee before Logan got there are baffled when they see either of them or both interacting with Logan

Because Roman and Dee are just CHAOS and DRAMATIC declarations of love (Roman) SCREAMING and sexual jokes (Dee)

Roman and Logan, though, that’s Roman at his most chivalrous. He opens doors, speaks eloquently, bows dramatically and is basically an over the top perfect gentleman

Deceit and Logan, well, no one understands that either because Deceit makes ZERO sexual jokes and he’s quiet and gentle and finally FINALLY he matches the elegant aesthetic he has going on 

And as soon as all three of them are seen together? The dynamic makes sense again

Roman and Dee are gremlins. Logan is the god they worship.

 Logan treats them both equally, as much as he can that is, and Roman and Dee would probably fight to the death for his hand and then end up making out like they always do when they fight to ‘the death’

Even Logan’s friends have only ever seen him express real emotion when he is with one or both of his boyfriends

The rest of the time he is in his robot/serial killer mode

Both Roman and Dee take great pride in this

Logan calls Dee Horace when he wants to make a point and it's usually why he ends up winning debates when Roman isn’t around because it makes Dee frustrated and annoyed so he stops talking

Apologies are made with kisses though

After the three get together, Roman learns a lot more about Dee as a person because believe it or not Dee is good at pretending and keeping secrets

Also they always just used to… sleep… in Roman’s room and not Dee’s but Roman didn’t even notice that and that’s how Dee got away with having a snake in secret for two years until Logan stayed the night in his room.

Roman falls more in love with Dee as a result and visa versa

Logan is awfully amused at this and they know it

Basically, the entire relationship is a HOT MESS

And that’s all I’ve got

[letswritefuriously]

Idun; Official WIP Post

Storyline

The Great Goddess, Idun, marks her chosen few with a birthmark that gives them the ability to see her children; the magical creatures of the world. Alicia Jae, currently taking a gap year with her brother, Ethan, has the Mark of Idun - in fact, she has one of the most powerful marks in existence - but has inexplicably suppressed the ability from a young age. At least; up until now. After being attacked by masked soldiers from a powerful organisation, she begins to regain the ability.

But the attack has lead Alicia and Ethan to believe that their little sister is in danger, and rush to protect her, against the advice of the mysterious Ari, who saved them from the soldiers. But they now must undertake a dangerous cross country journey through forests infested with the Children of Idun. What is waiting for them at the end of the journey? Can Ari be trusted? Can Alicia trust anyone?

Can she even trust her own brother?

Details

-Screenplay (at least, an attempt at screenplay)

-3/5 main characters are POC

-3/5 are LGBT (1 lesbian, 1 pansexual and a biromantic enby)

-Involves various mythologies such as Scottish, Irish, Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Australian, North American and South American as well as folk tales

-Ships: wlw (canon in one season), nblm (canon in three seasons), wlm (straightbaiting heheh)

Links

Episodes: Wattpad link, 1x1 part one, 1x1 part two, 1x1 part three, try not to be confused challenge

Character info: Jack, Ari, Ethan, Alicia

Excerpts: Alicia wishes she knew ASL, battling the troll, Ethan has a sad,

Other: Powerpoint meme, Ari’s favourite past time, first line last line, AliciaxMairi, JackxAri, EthanxElvera, blind date info (even though that’s over)

Characters after the cut.

Characters

Name: Tahlia Jae

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Lesbian

Species: Human with mark of Idun

Description: Short, African American, curvy/chubby,  long braids in braid ponytail, light brown eyes, pretty

Personality: Sassy, intelligent, compassionate, extremely organised, wants to be a psychologist, (knows psychology), too hard  on herself but never complains so you never notice, bakes deserts when  stressed, has a hidden wild side,

Clothes: Fashionable, but I don’t know fashion,  charm bracelet with ‘best sister’ charm, vans/converses, stuff w/ rainbows

Powers: Can see the children of Idun, can weave threads of raw magic in the air (heckin’ powerful witchcraft)

Weaknesses: Mental instability causes powers to be  sporadic

Weapons: Knife

Alignment:Neutral good

 Name: Ethan Jae

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Aggressively straight but not  homophobic

Species: Human

Description: Tall, African American, short brown  hair, strong but a little on the chubby side, dark brown eyes (like nearly  black)

Personality: Loyal, Brave, creative/inventive,  quiet and reserved, very disorganised, loses stuff, thinks of the perfect  response a day later, Trying Really Hard™, ‘what am I doing with my life’,

Clothes: T-shirt, jeans and jackets/hoodies

Powers: None

Weaknesses: None

Weapons: Gun

Alignment: Lawful good

 Name: Ari Lachlan

Gender: Non binary

Sexuality: Biromantic

Species: Hybrid (Human/shifter)

Description: Short, androgyne (looks like could be  either gender), blue eyes, (when shifted one blue, one green), short brown  hair (short for a girl, long for a boy), freckles, tan

Personality: Sarcastic asshole, atheist, doesn’t  give two sh*ts about anything, loves memes, probably hasn’t slept in three  days, literally the only character here other than Rivera who can  convincingly lie/conceal emotions, wants to save everyone’s lives (even the  people they hate), Australian

Clothes: Completely trashed, too big clothes  that look like homeless clothes, mood ring, wood carving necklace, leather  fingerless gloves OR the shifter suit, that looks like a black wetsuit and  allows them to shift without destroying clothes

Powers: Can shape-shift into any form, HOWEVER, must know everything about the anatomy of that form to be able to shift (hence they are found in the library asleep over a book on anatomy most nights)

Weaknesses: Powers don’t work in the presence of silver, silver burns

Weapons: Two boomerangs, a knife

Alignment: Chaotic neutral

 Name: (Filler) Jack

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Probably doesn’t know what sexuality is but pansexual

Species: Fae

Description: Medium height, dark green and brown eyes, short dark brown hair, a little on the scrawny side

Personality: World’s greatest cinnamon roll,  doesn’t understand social cues or human culture, calls sultanas elderly  grapes, etc, what is self control, trash for pastels, loves plants,  herbivorous and can’t have sugar/alcohol, kind of a mess, but also pure, so  soft, doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,

Clothes: Sort of looks like a green suit (like  something a king/prince would wear) made out of dandelions

Powers: Heckin’ powerful warrior, abnormally strong and fast, can grow flowers on command, can glow

Weaknesses: Powers don’t work in the presence of iron, iron burns

Weapons: Glowing gold sword

Alignment: Lawful good

 Name: Elvera

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight but flirts with everyone

Species: Daemon (Mexican spirit that guides  souls to the afterlife)

Description: Mexican, tan, green eyes that look  really weird with her face, pretty tall, OR trueform, like one of those  complex angel drawings, with butterfly wings, glowing eyes, 100 heads and  four sets of arms and legs as well as demon horns and facial tattoos

Personality: Devious, Manipulative, emotionally  cold, clever, sneaky, off the charts sarcasm, sort of a know-it-all/b****,  must have final zinger in argument, asshole but in the loveable way, cheer up  with food.

Clothes: Some sort of dress, help me I can’t costume design (but when Alicia buys her modern clothes she gets a slytherin jacket and it’s awesome!!!)

Powers: Can take people to the afterlife, +more that I’m not sure about yet

Weaknesses: Powers don’t work in the presence of silver, silver burns

Weapons: Two small daggers

Alignment: Chaotic evil

Follow for more content!

[ghostflowerdreams]

Review: Netflix’s Black Summer

Black Summer is an American web television zombie apocalypse drama series, created by Karl Schaefer and John Hyams. The first season, consisting of 8 episodes, was released on Netflix on April 11, 2019.

Set in the dark, early days of a zombie apocalypse, Rose is separated from her daughter and embarks upon a harrowing journey to find her. Thrust alongside a small group of American refugees, these complete strangers must find the strength they need to fight their way back to loved ones. But in order for Rose and the others to brave this hostile new world, they will need to make brutal decisions to contend with zombies – and each other. 

Oh, boy! Anything with zombies automatically peaks my interest so of course when Netflix announced Black Summer I kept an eye out for it. First things first, this post will have some SPOILERS. I want to explain what I didn’t like, what they could’ve done better and I can’t do that without revealing a little bit of it.

What I did like...

The cast was diverse, which was fantastic to see. We get a black man, three Mexicans, a deaf Syrian refugee, a Korean woman and two white characters. They weren’t just throw in to fill a quota, but they actually felt believable in their roles. 

Kyungson (goes with the name “Sun” instead because everyone was struggling to say her name) is desperate to find her mother. She only speaks Korean, but she does an excellent job in emoting emphatically to get her points across. However, that’s not to say she doesn’t know any English at all. She actually understands it well enough and knows a few words, even knows how to sing in it. 

I didn’t have any English subtitles on, which made it feel immersive and realistic for me. I felt like I was a part of the group, not knowing what she was talking about but having a good idea of what she might be saying. We also experience this in a similar-but-different manner with Ryan, a deaf character.

Now, the type of zombies we get in this isn’t the slow and stupid variety. They’re actually fast-running and tenacious in their pursuit. They’re also smart enough to climb and duck under opened garage doors in search of survivors. However, they don’t seem to be smart enough to know how to opened doors (but I suppose they can figured it out if given the time to do so). As always, the virus is spread by being in contact with an infected fluids via bite or blood. And if a person dies (for whatever reason), they come back as a zombie instantaneously.

Headshots are instant kills, but for some reason it’s not done that often. I don’t understand why the characters are all so surprised and panic when they realize that body shots do nothing to stop them. It just seems like a lot of waste of bullets. This makes me wonder if the universe this take place in not have zombie fiction? 

I get that not all survivors will be skilled with guns. As it’s very difficult to get headshots on moving targets, but how can you miss when they’re a few feet away and heading straight for you? Or why hasn’t anyone attempted to slow them down by shooting out the legs and than the head? I know I can be nitpicky, but I excused this aspect because it was only the beginning of the apocalypse. The characters haven’t had enough time or experience to become harden survivors yet. 

And then there’s Lance. He’s stupidly lucky. Everything about him makes me go nuts and want to scream at the screen like...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! OMG, HOW? WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? He’s basically the kind of guy who somehow manages to survive despite the dumb decisions he makes. Which, now that I think about it, is kinda funny because he’s what most people typically think of to be the first ones to go in the apocalypse. 

Maybe I’m nickpicking again, but what I didn’t like was in episode 5, titled “Diner” because I found all the characters to be acting very stupid. William and Sun were trapped in an abandoned diner with three other survivors from the truck (the same one that was tailing them in order to steal their gas, and eventually ran them off the road). Their first plan was to get someone to stay inside to keep the TWO zombies distracted while the others go out to kill them. However, that plan failed as they underestimated how difficult it would be to take them down. Did they not aim for the head? Or was it because their weapons were useless in causing any damage? I’m not sure...

Then Phil (one of the survivors from the truck) came up with the idea to sacrificed someone in the group to feed the zombies. While the zombies would be busy eating them, the rest would run away. He picked Sun purely because she couldn’t speak English, showing his racism. William is against the idea and Sun notices that the leader of the pack has a cut on his arm. She lets William know and he wonders out loud if Phil is infected. The group starts acting hysterically. The other two truck survivors make their decision by rounding on their leader and they all throw him outside.

The entire time I was watching that episode I was like WTF! Can’t you guys use your brain??? Why even resort to throwing another person out there? They would’ve been another potential zombie to deal with. Plus, who in their right mind even trust a dude who’s quick to make a plan that involves sacrificing another person? I was surprise to see that his companions didn’t even pause to think about it. If Sun wasn’t there, it could’ve easily been one of them instead.

What especially annoyed me about the episode was that they didn’t even try to use their brains. To me it was obvious of what they could’ve done next, but they just gave up after their first plan failed. They were dealing with TWO zombies and they could’ve easily out smart the damn zombies by baiting them inside the restaurant and trapping them in it. They just need to make sure to get all the food and water first. Once they did, lure the zombies to the front entrance and trap them in the little entrance way. Then go out the back way and you’re free. 

Or they can try to kill them again, but this time do it in a different way. Sure, it’ll be a bit more work and tricky to do, but it wouldn’t be impossible. They would need someone to distract the other zombie and lure the other one to the front. Then unitize the entrance way of the diner to get one inside and carefully secure and hold the door open. Just enough for the zombie to stick their head in and stab them with the big kitchen knife or another sharp object. Then repeat the process or keep the other trapped instead. 

This episode could’ve been done better by being less annoying stupid. The other episodes didn’t bothered me as much as this one did (especially if you ignored Lance, because his character is suppose to represent that kind of people). Sometimes the other characters are a bit dumb too (like why didn’t you check if you’re really alone in the house or why didn’t you freaking close and lock the damn doors behind you), but that’s normal as not everyone is such a zombie or survivalist nerd as I am.

Black Summer isn’t THAT great compare to other zombie shows, but there were some moments that stood out. Such as showing how dangerous and messed up humans can be. I remember a particular scene in which the characters were traveling by foot. They saw a car parked with a mother and her young daughter inside it. Rose was going to approach them to see if they needed help, but the mother lifted up her gun in a silent warning to leave them alone. The group understood and moved on.

Later on, in another episode they were in a different location but noticed the same car from earlier. They couldn’t see inside of it, but they needed to pass it in order to leave the area. So they cautiously walked closer, but the car starts up and as it slowly drives off they were able to see inside of it. 

It’s occupants were three burly man and a young girl. Rose turns paled, wondering out loud where is the mother, as the young girl was the same one from before. That scene was executed very well. It was terribly sad and horrible. It basically implied that the mother was killed either for her car (because finding one with gas was extremely valuable) or that they knew she wouldn’t let them abuse her daughter as long as she was alive.

In the end, would I recommend this? Hmmm, I guess? It’s not exactly that good, but it’s not that terrible either. It’s definitely something you can watch to kill boredom for a short while. Or just watch it for the characters like Christine Lee’s Kyungsun. I wouldn’t be surprise if she becomes a fan favorite. She’s certainly my favorite out of the entire bunch. 

Honestly, other shows do a much better job at this. Go watch Netflix’s KINGDOM. It’s a South Korean historical period drama with zombies. It’s very GOOD.

[aw-tryagain]

Wow

People really don’t like hearing the truth about what they do and it shows. How can y’all misinterpret what I was saying THAT badly??

Like this was just my final straw I am done with the fandom. Y’all are all so damn ignorant and petty. Y’all will literally hate on someone for doing what you do! How does that make sense?! I’m just tired of y’all and have been for such a long time now and have been less and less involved in this fandom as time went on because I too began to notice things about how yall act and treat each other and yes y’all really are all so fake and after this whole shit show I just can’t do it anymore. Lol like I knew twilight was shitty but there were still a lot of things I loved about the series and I saw so much potential in it and I recognized the shitty parts and also tried to change them to make it better and that’s what a lot of people or pretty much everyone does in this fandom, but y’all just don’t recognize the shitty parts. Y’all try to excuse it. Especially when it comes to the main characters. Y’all will literally jump through hoops to excuse or just flat out ignore Alices racism and how she treats Bella. Y’all will excuse/flat out ignore Edwards fucked up abusive actions towards Bella yet will turn around and vilify Jacob for kissing her without her permission and guilt tripping/manipulating her too. Yall vehemently hate the shit out of Jacob (and are sometimes really racist about it) and will make posts/headcnons/au’s of the cullens beating him up a native brown boy for basically doing to Bella what they literally do to her through the entire series, take away her bodily autonomy and choices and manipulate her. Yall make posts about old white racist people literally beating up a 16 year old Native American boy and jack off to that shit and be racist all while y’alls precious whites can do anything they want to Bella because nothing the Cullens ever do is wrong. Y’all are literally playing right into the hands of that racist author SM and what she wanted and what she pushed so hard in the series you’d have to be blind not to see.. and you don’t see it.

Y’all still perpetuate the bs Meyer pushed and are all so ignorant because Jacob wasn’t like that at first and was never supposed to be like that. Meyer ruins every character she touches ESPECIALLY when it comes to poc but instead of looking at that y’all would rather act like assholes and treat people who like these characters and want to remake them in their own image like shit. Yet you all want people to stop calling you racist for loving and excusing Jaspers time in the confederacy and let you all redeem him and his actions. There was a whole fandom fight about this exact thing when someone called out the racist shit these people were doing regarding Jacob and the Cullens and guess what y’all did? Y’all tried to not only defend what y’all were doing but also tried to defend the fact that Jasper was a literal confederate soldier. Like, Jasper was one of my favorite characters but that doesn’t excuse what he was. You people are the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met. Y’all can make excuses for Jasper being a confederate and say “oh well he learned from that! He’s not a racist!” and y’all can make headcanons trying to redeem him but don’t seem to wanna redeem him from the problematic things he does in the series to this day which y’all seem to always leave out and forget. Y’all can say “oh Meyers and idiot! She didn’t know what she was doing! Jasper should have been a union soldier!” and all types of shit but nobody can do the same for Jacob who was actually fucked over by Meyer and made to do problematic things not only because he was the rival but also because Meyer loves making poc the villains all the time? How can y’all not see that?

Y’all make excuses up the wall for the precious Cullens fucked up actions and will gladly blame the author and not the character for it and will attack anyone who thinks otherwise but when it comes to anyone else? especially poc? It’s time to hate them and treat them and anyone who likes them and tries to actually redeem them from their racist biased author, like shit. It’s funny how we’re supposed to love the confederate soldier who willingly fought for slavery and quickly rose through the ranks in the army and seems proud of that fact when recalling it in Eclipse and he’s just so smart and practical and calculative and is such a great leader and thinks things through and is able to convince others easily and get them to follow him because he’s so charming but we’re also supposed to feel bad for him and hate the Mexican woman who “manipulated” him and lied to him and of course she’s painted as some kind of evil seductress who manipulates the poor defenseless mindless white man that we all must coddle. I italicized those words bc that is supposed to be his characterization. People who are calculative and smart and good leaders aren’t so easily manipulated and aren’t so easily trusting, and don’t fall for one obvious lie for 100 years! Idc what anyone says nobody can keep up a simple ass lie for that long especially when with just a little more thought put into it, the lie can be debunked so easily bc the truth is right there. Also in the end he had the power. He could do what he wanted with his own body and he chose to do what he did. We’re not gonna blame the woman for the actions of the man. Yes she had a part in it and influencing it but there is no way he couldn’t have felt the deception and do nothing about it or at least feel some type of way about it. If he’s so strong and powerful and dangerous and controlled all those newborns and is so much stronger and better than María why didn’t he stage an uprising or something? Don’t give me that “he didn’t know what he was doing” excuse. It’s the same tired ass excuse y’all use for him being apart of the confederation and it makes no sense. He was able to think for himself (and apparently has a strong smart vampire brain) and do for himself and literally had power over himself and others. This is literally me saying that the shit doesn’t add up from what we know from canon. It doesn’t make sense and I’m calling out the plot holes and why it doesn’t make any sense and why it should be taken with a grain of salt. Because it’s bullshit.

This is NOT me saying “men can’t be abused” or some other shit y’all want to put into my mouth. Like you guys do all the time. But of course he didn’t actively choose to make any of those decisions and act upon it on his own, no it’s all the woman (Maria’s) fault for every single thing he did. He was completely mindless and stupid and didn’t stop to think about anything once. I am in NO way saying that María wasn’t wrong for the lie that she told him or the manipulation or whatever it’s definitely wrong but it’s also unfair that she is the only being hated for it when the main characters do the same shit?! Yet everyone ignores it because it’s not abuse when they lie and manipulate. It’s unfair that people who like her and see the error in the way she was created and want to change that or whatever and ship her with Jasper get hate for it yet you guys can do the exact same thing with your faves and their issues? THATS WHAT IM CALLING OUT! I’m not mad bc y’all “don’t ship abuse” I’m mad because you’re all hypocrites and you all fail to see it. It’s said that she did lie and manipulation and it’s “implied” as abuse and people take that little bit of info and run with it (like they do a lot) and make it out like María is the worst person ever to walk the earth and was lying to him constantly about every little thing ever and was sexually abusing him and was physically beating him even tho NONE of this is EVER stated in canon. Y’all vilify the shit out of her (the hate gets so bad I’ve seen people literally act like she’s dirty and impure and beneath compared to the special white savior and all bc she’s the manipulative colored rival and that’s ANOTHER place where the racist undertones come to play.) bc Meyer painted them as this turbulent problematic relationship with the bad colored promiscuous sexually deviant woman and then Jasper finds a pure white woman and they have the bestest, healthiest relationship ever. They don’t tho. Alice lies to him too. Alice lies to him a lot in the saga and actively keeps things from him. Alice talks down to him and teams up with Edward and is on his side all the time to treat him like a child and basically act like he’ll never be as good as them when it comes to bloodlust (Edward legit says this shit about him but yeah this family is sooo loving and they believe in him soo much blow me.) She kicks him and stomps on his foot when he has thoughts or does something that isn’t ~Cullen like~ and that’s okay? That’s supportive? Jasper himself manipulates her emotions without her permission and tells her to not worry about important people that are supposed to be “family” and manhandles her when she had that vision and this is supposed to be so much better? This is supposed to be one of the best relationships in the saga because ~mates~ and tru wuv?! Their whole courtship and mating doesn’t even make a lick of sense why would he go into a diner? full of people? Especially if he was hungry?! That doesn’t make sense! How could she have possibly had a vision of him? and then automatically assumed she was supposed to be his ~mate~ that makes even less sense, and they’re incompatible and are pretty scummy to each other but it’s disguised as pure mated mystical love, by Meyer.

We’re supposed to like it and it’s supposed to be great but it’s not and I don’t because I see holes and I’m not falling for Meyers bullshit excuses to cover her own ass; we know Meyer has a problem with showing vs. telling but we also know she has a problem with making things that are supposed to be good look terrible. but his relationship with the big bad Mexican is the one that’s completely wrong and supposed to be feared? He has more in common with said Mexican woman and pretty much acts just like her! He went along with her and what she wanted and didn’t stop and think about what the fuck he was doing and he’s known to do this in canon because he literally said that he did the same thing with Alice. He was made to feel powerful and capable even if what he was doing wasn’t morally sound. Also omg over time they eventually began to have some real feelings for each other from their little relationship they had on the side or whatever and to this day they’re still friends with each other and Jasper thinks about her from time to time and wishes her well. They actually GREW to be friends and actually had some kind of development and progress in their relationship. Their okay with each other now even with their turbulent past and Jasper doesn’t hate her. Like at all and you mean to tell me that’s bad? It’s just horribly abusive and people have no right to ship it or even like it and/or indulge in it because they may see some potential with what Meyer did with them and want to build on that and improve it??? We ALL know Meyer creates a lot of things, characters, plot points with soo much potential but always ruins it and people in fandom see that and want to change it and love it and bring out that potential but when it comes to certain characters and ships (mainly involving poc) that’s off limits? Yet y’all do the same thing with yalls boring ass white canon characters and ships or just ignore the ships/characters issues in general??? But feel like y’all got the right to play god and be all high and mighty and holier than thou and viciously attack people for doing what y’all want to do??

Now That’s a fucking joke.

Not only is it a joke it’s also unfair. Who tf are y’all to dictate what someone can and can’t like/indulge in??? and I love how everyone wants to claim “oh I don’t ship Edward/Bella Jasper/Alice etc... bullshit! All y’all do is talk about them and make headcanons and au’s and shit that’s what this fandom mostly consists of, quit fucking backtracking and lying. This doesn’t even begin to explain all things wrong with this hypocritical ass fandom but this rant is more so related to what just happened that was my last straw and made me leave that ignorant ass shitshow of a fandom.

You people read that whole passage that I wrote calling out unfair treatment and fucked up behavior and you STILL just watered it down to “oh they’re just mad because we don’t ship abuse” YES YALL DO! and that’s the problem!!! You guys HATE it when people talk shit about y’all and look down on y’all for liking twilight and tell y’all not to like it bc it’s riddled with abuse and manipulation regarding the main characters and you all come up with your own excuses and reasons (however valid or not they may be) for still liking and indulging in it and trying to fix. Yet you turn around and do the same thing to your own people in the fandom who only ask for/want the same thing y’all ask/want from twi-haters? I was calling out y’all hypocritical actions that is sometimes rooted in racism and how it’s fucked up! I was also calling out how y’all vehemently disrespected, mocked and attacked a real life human person and egged on the op for childishly being a dick to someone for no reason and you all made fun of them for VERY POLITELY requesting something Jasper/Maria related and yet y’all call yourselves nice and accepting? If you didn’t want to do it you could have just kindly told them that you didn’t want to do it. You didn’t have to make a joke moodboard post acting like you’re disgusted (funny how we all must be disgusted with the dirty impure Mexican lol) and the rest of y’all didn’t have to reblog it acting like op was so smart and funny and putting shit in the tags like “why do people ship them lol” “like grow a braincell pls” or “open ur mind” like y’all need to open your minds and realize y’all ain’t shit for that and it WRONG! It was RUDE! Wanna ask “why do people ship them” why do YOU ship shit like Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Victoria/James etc...?? Y’all collectively froth over Victoria and excuse her yet she did. the. exact. same. shit!! Albiet badly, but Come ON! now it’s suddenly okay and excuseable when you throw some white skin on it? Why do YOU even like TWILIGHT if it’s riddled with so much shit?! Racism, sexism, homophobia. If anyone needs to “grow a braincell” it’s y’all. Also yes, let’s attack people and call them dumb and stupid all for what they ship. That’s good. Yet y’all have been attacked your whole lives for liking twilight and can’t seem to make that connection. Once y’all get a little bit of recognition and power y’all wanna act exactly like the people that mistreated y’all to other innocent people that just want to be involved because they think you guys are cool. Y’all are so fucking backwards smh you people suck so fucking hard man.

Fuck the twilight fandom and fuck twilight. Y’all have ruined something I actually used to enjoy by being such nasty hypocritical turds about everything that isn’t white and popular and what you all like. You can’t be different or have different thoughts or unpopular opinions. Though y’all always say that you can, you can’t. The minute you even say anything about the Cullens that yall don’t like or the minute you ship anything that y’all don’t like, or have an opinion on a character or trope that y’all don’t like y’all get to shading and vague posting and mobbing up talking mad shit. You are all so damn fake and I hope and pray y’all get what’s coming to yall for being such nasty disgusting people and yes maybe I did come on a little too strong the first time and should have handled it better and spoken better and been more respectful but after being here for so many years and knowing y’all? That shit wouldn’t have worked. Y’all still would have reacted with viciousness and bullshit and miss the entire point. It’s what y’all constantly do. Look at what y’all do to people who politely ask for something you may not want to do??? If that’s how y’all react to innocent people then imma honestly pray for y’all. I repeat the same energy people give out and I repeated y’all nasty ass energy in my response and if you don’t like it you need to look at yourself and y’all need to stop pointing the fucking finger all the damn time. Grow the fuck up. Also if people really wanna insult me for writing PARAGRAPHS about shit YALL do? Not only is that the dumbest most useless fucking insult I’ve ever seen but it also reflects on y’all because of the simple fact that I have to write paragraphs calling out the shit y’all do and putting it in detail because y’all don’t know how to fucking read and comprehend shit, and YALL STILL MISSED MY POINT!!! That is... just wow. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Imagine being that dumb!

[blcodyhell]

hii! i've read your post regarding issues about racism/homophobic something and i'm really curious. if you don't mind me asking; what is it all about?? is it connected to netflix recreating narnia into a series???

Hello, thank you for coming to me. 

Unfortunately, this whole issue is directly connected to the Narnia series Netflix is doing, since that is where the whole racism  &  phobic discourse began, where people started stating that they hope the Pevensies stay white on the new series, or straight or literally any of the very wrongly thought normal labels.

At first the whole issue started softly, with people genuinely being upset by people who were ACTUALLY  &  clearly phobic or racist, but since then the whole thing has taken a whole turn in which simply saying    ‘I still see the Pevensies as white’    is considered racist, if you don’t reblog or make edits where the friends of Narnia are anything  b u t  white, you’re consider racist, or in which people  ( including me, but I refuse to be anything but a fighter )  have ended up hurt by lies brought up through people that are not willing to listen,  &  others are simply too scared of even saying anything because they could end up like me: unfairly put in a list of homophobic/racist Narnian blogs.   &  to be honest, I don’t blame them, stay safe, please. 

The truth of the matter is, these people that are so easily accusing others have forgotten one of the most IMPORTANT Narnian teachings: hear both sides, because even a traitor may mend. 

Yes, I was stupid in the way I worded things in such a way that it made me look racist or/&  phobic, but ever since then I have apologised, stated how I  a c t u a l l y  think  &  how poorly I worded my thoughts  ( proving that I’m not any of the things I’m accused of ),   &  still, regardless of such a thing I am branded a racist  &  phobic, when I am a Mexican bisexual girl who is always very loud about these issues irl. 

In other words, it started with a pure intention, but now it’s simply turned into bullying  &  is now about shooting anyone who doesn’t properly word things REGARDLESS of it they have proven to be nothing but loving towards everyone in the past.  I worded things wrong twice, once when I didn’t understand a term,  &  another time when I wasn’t even truly paying attention only to a conversation,  &  here we are now, with someone  ( me )  who has never spread  a n y t h i n g  but positivity  &  love towards everyone online  &  irl being called a phobic racist person who hates everyone. 

Now more than ever: don’t trust everything you see said about someone online.  If you see something that you don’t like, instead of believing word of mouth, go to the source  &  ask,  ( like you have done, you wonderful person )  to get the whole picture.  

[okimargarvez]

ZERO

Original title: Zero.

Prompt: comfort, angst.

Warning: none.

Genre: romantic, angst.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez  

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot, part 4 of 365 pills of Garvez canon life.

Legend: 💑.

Song mentioned: none.

Note: this ff is based on true story. I’m apologize if this is sad and not fluffy, but I still love it.

GARVEZ STORIES

ZERO

-I didn’t pass it.- she stops and silently wonders if she has understood correctly.

-What? You're kidding me, are not you?- she begs him to say yes, but it does not happen. -Luke?- she hears him sigh from the other side of the line. Imagine his sad expression and only the idea breaks her heart.

-No, it's the true. I did not passed it.- she already feels tears sting the corners of her eyes to get out, but she keeps them back. -You’re disappointed on me, didn’t I? You are so magnificent and I... such an idiot, clumsy...- her fingers already type on the keyboard, the mouse travels on the desk. -I don’t deserve to stay with someone like you. If you want to break up with me... I understand it. It is right that you find someone who is at your height, that can make you proud...- the noise of the printer running, a few sheets put in a bag, the whole system off, the lights pure, fingertips that type up a security code. -Penelope? You want to break up with me, right?- she struggles to answer, not because it's complicated doing it or she is not certain, but because it seems inconceivable. Did she do or say anything that might have led him to believe such a thing? That she would let him sink by himself at the first difficulty?

-No, Luke, damn it! I don’t leave you, the hell I do. -she walks down the stairs. There is no time to wait for the elevator. -Are you still there, in the hotel?- she reaches the car, slams the door, connects the phone to the Bluetooth to continue the call.

-Yes, they told me that I can stay here next week, then they will change my seat and I will try for the second time. If I don’t pass it... adios.- these are things that she already knows, but making him speak is a way not to lose him.

-But Friday will you go back home?- she changes gear, puts the arrow.

-Yeah, I'll come back.- a pause. -They told me I was heavily penalized, and you know why? Because I'm a federal. The examiner is one of the CIA, old-fashioned, who has died to us with the FBI, especially with "those assholes" of the BAU, so he calls us. He believes that we are a group of incompetents, interested only in the glory of the newspapers.- now, together with the sadness, there is so much anger and the woman feels the same feeling grow inside her. -In any case, they told that a federal should do more. And maybe they're right. Maybe I don’t deserve that qualification...- she brakes a little too abruptly.

-Don’t be silly. Luke, we knew that this test would be difficult, has nothing to do with your world, but some bureaucrat has decided that you had to do it to be able to devote to what really interests you. Now, take a deep breath.- she feels him obey. -Good boy. And, think about it, you're much better prepared now. You know how long it’s the test, how it takes place. You will do your best, as always and you will see that it will be enough. And anyway, I'll be with you, you understand?- she uses a tone harder than she would like, but should not allow even the slightest doubt to bloom.

-Yes.- but she understands that he doesn’t really believe it.

-Now, try not to think about it, as difficult as it is. Get some rest. Tomorrow, with a clear mind, you will begin to practice.- she parks. She takes the bag and delivers the keys to a man.

-Ok... now I... I call Phil. I hope he is not too disappointed, too.- here is the proof that he practically did not pay attention to just one thing she told him. She looks up at the sky, annoyed.

-All right. See you later, Luke.- she hangs up, turns off the phone, passes the controls and finds herself sitting comfortably next to a little family. She told him not to do it, but she can’t stop before thinking about what it would have been like if he had passed the first part. The second would not have given him problems. Stupid bureaucracy. Why has got always to be like this?

It's dark when she slams the door of a taxi (slowly). She walks in the hotel determined. Attitude is everything in life. Nobody asks her anything and she knows the number of his room by heart. She knocks. Anything. For a moment she imagines finding him intent on having fun with one of his classmates, whom he had talked to her about. Maybe one of the two Mexicans. Then she shakes her head and tries again. Luke, definitely alone, opens the door. He has two deep dark circles, his face red, his eyes shiny, his hair is messed up and he is wearing a sporty and fancy outfit. Total emergency. She regrets not having taken Roxy.

-Penelope.- he exclaims, really surprised. -You are here? Are you real?- she laughs, but pushes him inside, following him.

-Yes, it's me.- she leads him to the bed. It is not redone. And even the boots are thrown in bulk in a corner. It is not like him. -Honey, you're not alone, okay? You'll never be alone.- she puts her hands on his cheeks, strokes him gently and struggles to hold up the sight of those dark circles, which make him so tender. Because she imagines him, bent over again until the day before. He is one that wherever he goes, in whatever situation he finds himself, he does his best, always. At first complaining, but always with all of his heart. And the others noticed it. It was him, the one who didn’t realize it. Penelope wonders if she ever told him that she loves him for this reason too.

-Baby, I disappointed you, you shouldn’t waste time here. You just received the FBI's best IT award, and I...- she will not let him repeat this a second time.

-Hey, no, do not say that. Luke Alvez, you're the best man I know. You're smart, creative and I don’t care if you don’t have Reid's IQ. You are a good man, sometimes too much. But I wouldn’t change you with anyone. And you, stubborn, you'll make it. Because they will realize how great you are, ok?- she sticks her fingers in his curls, forcing him to look at her. -And if it doesn’t go that way, remember that I am and I will always be proud of what you are, of what you will get, because you are honest and you conquer everything with effort and merit. Because I love you and I can’t see you so sad, I can’t bear to feel that you belittle yourself so much. I'm afraid the ghosts of war can come back and take you away from me, but I will not let them.- she grits her teeth. -Do you know that smile that you like so much? It will vanish if I lose you. The others can believe what they want, but I know how much you're worth.- yes, in the end the tears have got the better, but she's not the only one to cry without making noise. She hugs him tightly, almost as if she were afraid that those demons would really rip him off her arms and he bury his face in her shoulder, he can’t say anything.

Deny that she is right would be useless. Some of those thoughts made him visit again. But the love for Penelope was stronger. And then she appeared here, really. They are not married (not yet, adds a little voice in his head) but she has respected the most important pact of marriage contract: in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.

-I want to be the person you would like to go to when you want to cry.- she whispers, before falling asleep in his arms.

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies  @kiki-krakatoa  @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke  @gcchic @arses21434 @entireoranges @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta  @skisun  @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes @garvezz @mercedes-maldonado​

[orionares]

Drabble, Part 6

As Kensi sleeps, her dream can only be described as chaos.

It’s a whirling mass of painful memories of the past and possibilities of the future that she and Deeks had always talked of. The memories and the possibilities continue to flash on and off within her mind, countering each other as if trying to find a balance. The dream leaves her feeling as if she were drowning as the moments overwhelm her.

She can feel love and peace pass through her as she once again sees Deeks waiting at the alter of their simple and yet beautiful beach wedding.

And then fear and exhaustion violently hit her fast at the memory of being walked across the desert for the exchange for her rescue back in Afghanistan.

Her mind jumps again and now hope and joy warms her as she sees Deeks sitting on the sand with their auburn hair five-year-old son watching the ebb and flow of the ides of the Pacific.

Once again, she’s feeling paralyzed when terror and uncertainty suddenly take over as she’s back in the hospital after the warehouse rescue, pleading for Deeks to look at her as he lays on a gurney with blood dripping from his lacerated mouth.

It continues for what feels like forever until Kensi finds herself lying on the ground in the Mexican desert, hearing a med-evac helicopter whisk Sam and Deeks to the closest hospital.…

Kensi jolts awake and cringes at the brightness from the fluorescent lights above the bed. Sweat has formed on her forehead and for a moment, she’s completely unaware of where she is. The continuous beeping from Deeks’ heart monitor brings her back to reality where she finds herself lying on her side on Deeks’ right side, her right arm draped over his chest, rising and falling with his every breath. Kensi glances up, half hoping to see him look down to her, but just as before, his eyes are closed and from her position, barely visible behind the endotracheal intubation mask.

The hospital didn’t move me- how long have I been asleep? Kensi wonders. Her gut tells her to check the clock above the door, but she doesn’t try. Whether the hospital had given up on trying to move her back to the room or she had been asleep for barely an hour, it doesn’t matter to her. The dream has her shaken and needing more than ever for him to wake up.

“You’re still here,” Kensi whispers breathlessly.

“You’re awake.”

The familiar voice, filled with relief, triggers a multitude of emotions in Kensi.  It’s the last voice she wants to hear with her fiancée lying injured next to her- Mosley. Kensi keeps her eyes tightly closed and hears the executive assistant director cross from the opposite corner of the room towards the edge of the bed.

“Agent Blye, I know you’re awake. We need to talk,” Mosley calls out. Her tone is purely business with a hint of coldness that she’s always reserved for the team, especially Deeks. Kensi opens her eyes and attempts to sit up but a sudden heaviness feeling in her head prevents her from lifting her head more than a few inches before returning back to the bed. Dressed down in the jeans and jacket she had worn when they had airlifted out her son, Shay Mosley appears casual and somewhat human, a stark contrast from her usual demeanor.

“What do you want?” Kensi growls, “Why are you here?”

“I'm here to see how you were all doing. How is he?"

Kensi's brain overloads as the memory of Deeks being escorted out of the office and  one of her last conversation with Mosley.

“Really?”

“I don’t have a choice right now, Kensi.”

Pushing past her headache, Kensi grabs the handrail and slowly pulls herself into a sitting position. She tries to reach out for any happy memory to distract her from screaming or throwing something in anger. Think of his smile…think of the beach…think of Monty!

“Did you hear me?”

Kensi bites down on her cheek before growling through gritted teeth, “What in the absolute hell did you think was going to happen here? Did you think you were going to walk in here, ask for forgiveness and everything would suddenly be ok?”

Mosley takes a step back from the bed and clasps her hands together, taken aback at the comment. Kensi reads the woman’s behavior as a defensive mechanism and to her, it just makes things worse. Kensi slides off the bed onto shaky legs before whipping her head towards Mosley and continuing, “ Do you care? Do you actually care about the welfare of my partner?”

The executive assistant director’s voice keeps steady. "He is- was- one of my agents and he saved my boy. I care-"

"How am I supposed to believe that?” Kensi exclaims. She can feel her self shaking from anger. The regret that she’s managed to burry from the day before comes back at her with a vengeance. I should have walked out with him when he was escorted out- why didn’t I back him up?

Mosley holds up both hands and pleads, “Please calm down-“

“Don’t. Don’t you dare walk in here and tell me to calm down! Back in L.A, we were only trying to help find your son and you were ready to throw away anyone and anything that didn’t meet your standard. You threw Callen under the bus and you fired Deeks and escorted him out like a criminal. Don’t forget the man you tortured for information.” Kensi holds up a finger and points at Mosley. “You do not get to flip the switch and act like everything you did was rational!”

"You're right," Mosley replies. She takes a few steps closer to Kensi and the junior agent feels her stomach drop at the dark shadows under Mosley’s red bloodshot eyes. "There were so many better ways to handle this than the way I did. “

“No shit,” Kensi winces as a pain shoots across her ribs. She drops her head and shakes it slightly, noting- I’m tired, I’m scared and I’m yelling at my boss. Kensi runs a finger down across Deeks’ fingers to steady herself. She reminds herself that she isn’t talking to her cold, focused boss but to a mother who had done everything in her power to reunite with her son. If the little girl in my dreams was kidnapped, would I have done the same thing?

Kensi relaxes her tone and asks calmly, “If we all had made it back uninjured and Hidoko hadn’t died out there, would we be having this conversation right now? Look, I am happy you have your son again- I truly am but what you did to this team during the past year and especially on this case is something I can’t look past. My fiancée almost died, Sam isn’t out of the woods with his leg injury, Callen blames himself for everything…..and I’m…if you came here looking for forgiveness or a way to cool a guilty conscious, I can’t do that for you right now.”

Mosley uncharacteristically reaches out and squeezes Kensi’s hand gently. She swallows before stating, “I understand. I don't regret fighting to bring my baby hone and I never will. But the way I handled everything else and the pain I caused is something that I will carry for the rest of my life. I know that it doesn’t help but I am sorry, Kensi. I’m so sorry. And I hope all of you can one day forgive me.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“All I know is that I'm going to go home, hug and spoil my boy and never let him go. After that, I don’t know,” Mosley answers. “He is here and safe…that’s all that matters to me right now. Please let him know that I’m sorry and…I’ll leave two alone.”

Mosley nods before leaving the room quiet and quickly.  As Kensi watches her leave, she repeats Mosley’s words in her mind- Here and safe. That’s everything we need. But without this job, what would that look like for us? For me?

[the-miman]

Rules: Tag 10 followers you want to know better.

Okay so @musclesandhammering tagged me. What’s up? Apparently we’ve been following each other ?? That’s hella cool! I remember following you because I saw your profile pic of Cas and THEN I realized you liked Loki! So like instant follow.

Name: Viviann. But like no one irl calls me that anymore. Just Miman (pronounced mee-man not my-man)

STAR SIGN: Sagittarius. U know that horse man. Pretty chill I guess.

Height: I’m like 5’1” ??? Idk

WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME: okay listen. I know everyone is going to think the same thing. But let me say no. I was not named after the character in scooby doo. My parents are Mexican af they don’t know what scooby doo is. Okay. It’s Dafne.

PUT YOUR ITUNES ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 4 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

1.) “Stone Mason” from the God of War soundtrack. (Don’t judge me I have the whole album)

2.) “As The World Falls Down” from the movie Labyrinth sung by David Bowie.

3.) “Libertango” by Astor Piazzolla

4.)”Nature Boy” cover by Aurora

GRAB THE BOOK NEAREST YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?

“Lots!” Bilbo found himself answering, to his own surprise; and he found himself scuttling off, too, to the cellar to fill a pint beer-mug, and then to a pantry to fetch two beautiful round seed-cakes which he had baked that afternoon for his after-supper morsel.”

Why does Tolkien use sooooo many commas ???

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?

For me ??? Lmao no uh but a friend of mine wrote a poem for my other blog??? Does that count??

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR?

Uuuh does air violin count??? Because I’ve done that last week.

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

Oooooooh this is a dangerous question to ask me. I have like a whole list. First of all anyone in the marvel cinematic universe can fuck me up lmao. But like my top fave is Timothy Omundson (please don’t judge me I know his wayyyyyyy older than me)

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE + SOUND YOU LOVE?

This is an interesting one. I have the condition called Chromesthesia which is just a fancy word to describe that my brain translates sounds into colors. So it’s not that I hate the sound but more that I hate the color it makes. Anything that makes a lime green color is a no go for me. Like a door slamming, a plate breaking, or a car horn. And anything that makes an indigo color is very nice like a flute playing, anything played on the D string of a violin, or the call of a quail. Lmao sorry if this seems random.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Uh hell yeah, and it’s annoying as fuck.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS?

Bruh at this point I NEED aliens to exist. If someone could just like abduct me that would be so great.

DO YOU DRIVE? No...I’ve never needed to.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?:The Hobbit lol it’s a cute short story

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? No it gives me a headache.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? “El Laberinto del Fauno”

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?Umm marvel?? Loki??? Drawing.

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? God no. I’m far too lazy to hold on to grudges lmao. I don’t even like to be angry. Too much work to have those emotions.

IN A RELATIONSHIP? PSSSSHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO! I can’t emotionally invest in myself let alone someone else.

Tagging: @somestorywriter , @chunruu , @sunfloweraru , @lovelyeeveelution , @ruvikkin , @huiweiwen , @moosemika , @friskybee , @pure-sea-salt , @ask-hero-china