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#i’m not even sure i’m gay so i’m not going to tag that
shekeepsmeworms · 9 months
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Had some wine feeling good made a really shitty bowl in ceramics class this morning that I’m really worried has a bunch of air holes in it and had a really crappy therapy session where I didn’t talk too much but was honest about some other stuff which is good overall I guess but now I’m doing drunk crochet and watching the Duggar family documentary and probably going to stop watching soon once they start talking about the awful stuff but yeah day in the life of a woman doing her best I guess
#like both sides of my family are either Irish catholic. converted assimilation catholic. or part Jewish but raised catholic.#but my mom read the Boston glob report so I wasn’t baptized or anything and despite her born again phase I’ve never really been religious#so the thought of growing up in that environment is like I can’t imagine the pressure oh my god#like I’ve had Mormon friends and have some friends who were raised homeschool Christian married young and all and like#i don’t know it’s just wild how different our lives are like I’ve got a problems and def inherited the guilt complex thing for sure but like#I also never got told to submit to anyone or that god was watching#or to be modest or any of the purity stuff beyond normal patriarchy stuff#like I’m not saying my life is better but I didn’t do church after age 5 and only go to funeral masses so I like the comfort of like#doing sign of cross and saying Hail Mary and all bc it provides structure for grief but beyond that I can’t imagine living with all of that#these are very long tags with no real point beyond wow. that’s literally bananas to me. but did I mention I’m a little drunk#and even then my family isn’t like hardcore catholic. my grandma and her siblings skipped church to get donuts bc no farm work on Sunday#and my dad grew up like doing fasted mass and everything but heard the 2000s Harvey milk speech and realized gay ppl are okay#and then rest of extended dads side is like catholic but vote blue and think human rights are good and all#my mom has a student who’s like very traditional catholic like she was trying to teach him math and whatever#and the live coverage of waiting for pope confirmation was on tv the whole time#and he fights with her about evolution and learning about the existence of other religions and everything#so I guess even in my own family like. everyone’s down with basic science and civil liberties which is even weirder for me I guess#like not even among fundamentalists like just regular Catholics I’ve had a pretty liberal upbringing re faith. it’s just wild to me#to see the differences of worldview#and even non religion stuff was pretty liberal overall despite living in pretty red area. idk it’s just wild how different life can be
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catgirlkaiju · 2 years
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Oh no I’m gonna say a thing.
Hearing other people designate anyone as “queer” burns me so much honestly. It’s one thing to say another slur like dyke or whatever because most of the people you hear those words from are at least aware of the weight they hold. Obviously this is barring assholes and bigots, and I’m not saying it’s better to say any slurs at all.
Queer is different to me though. Straight and lgbt people alike will say it. Companies throw it around like some patronizing badge of honor. “Be queer! Be you! So identity, epic win!”
Straight people will say it because they don’t know better. “But everyone says it! It’s an umbrella term!” So is lgbt. It’s more syllables? Who fucking cares. It’s not a slur.
Whats worse to me though is when lgbt people throw it around because they don’t know better, or just don’t care. I see “queer kids” used especially frequently now, which is particularly gross to me.
Slurs being used as slurs is not some begone era and words are not magically reconstituted so swiftly and completely to erase connotations they’ve had in very recent years and still do have. I have been called queer in an manner meant to be offensive more than once. I’m barely into my twenties. Just because YOU have not experienced this does not mean it’s not weaponized.
I have told others not to call me queer before because, yes it is a slur and no mcdonalds or spotify saying it on Twitter does not undo that. The word has been so watered down and repeated “diplomatically” that it’s everywhere. I don’t expect not to be designated as such. I do expect better when someone is speaking directly to me however, and I am somewhat amazed when lgbt people find this concept foreign or inexplicable.
I personally think knowing at least a shred of history and the meaning behind what you’re saying is the least an lgbt (or any marginalized) person can do for themselves and others who are. It boggles my mind how people have let a way to disrespect them become diluted by enough voices that they integrate it into their own vernacular and use it without a thought towards disrespecting themselves.
Investment is knowledge and knowledge lends us self-defense. Have some dignity, or at least let others have theirs.
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luhrmannatural · 2 years
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anyway! this is why which political party you vote for does matter! i know too many people on the left who straight up don’t vote because “both parties are the same” and yeah they’re both corrupt but at least one of them is not actively trying to chip away at our civil rights! anyone who isn’t voting straight blue in november block me right now for real you make me more angry than conservatives at least they fucking VOTE
#you’re either voting with the best shot to protect human rights or you should get out of my house <3#‘conservatives are the ones you should be focused on they’re actually supporting this ideology!’#and? if you’re not doing what you can you’re no better#also i’m a florida voter so yeah those bullshit third party votes DO matter. they need to be blue. desantis WILL run for president#it sent me into a rage before now when people said this like i had one friend tell me that both parties are the same once and like.#i remember the day after trump won my 11 year old cousin called me sobbing saying she was afraid to go to school the next day#because the anglo kids were chanting to build a wall at her majority latin school#those people would’ve still been there regardless of who won ofc#but no way would they have felt safe enough to act if that ideology hadn’t been endorsed by an election!#if you think both parties are the same it’s because you have enough privilege to not pay attention to the way#the people in power can embolden some really ugly shit#i’m sure now people will start to care more since obergefell is in danger and god forbid we jeopardize the white gays!! i’m so tired#don’t even think about sending me a confrontational ask about this i will delete it on sight#and btw if you want to actually vote outside the two party system local elections are right there!! and super important!! don’t ignore them!#a.txt#politics#abortion cw#<- tangentially. please lmk if you’d like me to tag this as anything else!
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piracyandpumpturns · 2 years
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why do i fucking say yes to everything
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solarmorrigan · 1 year
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( @nitro502-the-sequel​‘s tags on this post made me ugly laugh and then I had to write something, I hope that’s okay??)
Wait, no, this is hilarious, hold on
Steve drops Eddie off at home later that night, where Wayne is awake and puttering around in the kitchen making what might possibly be lunch (he tends to keep overnight hours even on his days off, so as not to completely fuck his sleep schedule, but hell if Eddie can keep track of what time of “day” it is for him).
Wayne gives Eddie a nod of acknowledgement and turns back to the pan he’s stirring on the stove. “How was your–”
“HE CROCHETED ME A SCARF.”
This was a little louder than Eddie had meant to be, but Wayne, to his credit, doesn’t even flinch. He turns back to look at where Eddie is standing in the middle of the living area, clutching the ends of the aforementioned scarf like it’s a towel at the end of the world.
“Who did?”
“Steve.”
“Huh,” is all Wayne says. “Is crocheting the thing with the…?” He holds his fists out in front of him, rotating them at the wrists like he’s rowing a very tiny boat.
“No, that’s knitting. Apparently, they’re different,” Eddie says, brows raised and hands held up in front of him, like he can fend off the ghost of Steve’s surprisingly enthusiastic lecture on the subject. “Crocheting is with a hook, like–” Eddie holds out one curled fist, trying to demonstrate, but it mostly just looks like he’s either stabbing something or failing to pick up some invisible spaghetti. He gives up and flutters his hands in front of himself, clearing the image. “He showed me – never mind, it’s – you’re missing the point!”
“And I’m sure you’re gonna tell me what that is,” Wayne says, turning back to the stove before the beans (Eddie’s pretty sure it’s beans he’s smelling) start to burn.
“Steve crocheted me a scarf,” Eddie enunciates, because putting the proper emphasis on certain words will definitely solve the problem.
Wayne just hums. “Well, that was nice of him. Lord knows I can never get you to wear anything warm.”
Eddie groans, clutching at this scalp and then running his hands through his hair. He’s at least seventy-five percent certain Wayne is being obtuse on purpose.
“But what am I supposed to do about it?” he laments.
“Wear it, I’d say,” Wayne replies. “Can I see it?”
Eddie hesitates for a second, because it’s his scarf and Steve made it for him, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to it when he hasn’t even had it for twenty-four hours, but then he decides he’s being ridiculous, because if he can trust anyone with his stuff, it’s Wayne. He unwinds the scarf from around his neck and passes it over.
Wayne’s brows go up as he looks over the close, even stitches, running his fingers over the little ridges Steve somehow made with yarn. He nods appraisingly. “It’s nice,” he says, handing it back.
“Right?” Eddie tosses it back around his neck with a sigh.
“Did you say thank you?”
“Yes,” Eddie says, before thinking back over the moment when Steve had told him that the scarf was for him. “…more or less.”
Wayne shakes his head, turning back to his food with some unfavorable mutter about Eddie’s manners.
“Okay, but I think you’re still not seeing the problem here,” Eddie insists.
“Looks like the problem is that you’re having a conniption over a scarf in the middle of the damn living room,” Wayne shoots back.
“No, that’s– well I mean– no,” Eddie sputters. “Okay, look, what would you do if a girl made a scarf for you?”
Wayne pauses, and Eddie loves his uncle with his whole shriveled heart, but it is always funny watching him try to shift gears when he realizes they’re talking about gay things now.
“Well,” Wayne says slowly, “pretty sure I’m a little too old to have any girl knitting me a scarf.”
“Oh my god,” Eddie groans. “Fine! A mature woman, then. Work with me here!”
Eddie gets a raised eyebrow at the mature woman comment, but Wayne lets it slide. He tilts his head consideringly as he spoons some beans out onto a plate by the stove, where he’s already got toast waiting. He tilts the pan at Eddie, wordlessly offering, and Eddie shakes his head.
“I suppose I’d have to get her something in return,” Wayne finally says. “Or make her something, if I was the creative type.”
Eddie gets another pointed look at those last two words, and he groans again, letting his head fall back in defeat, because he’d been afraid that would be the answer.
“I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to make. It’s not like I can make him warm clothes or do anything useful,” Eddie says, so caught up in the sudden and dramatic realization that all of his hobbies are entirely useless that he doesn’t manage to duck in time when Wayne gives him a not-entirely-gentle smack on the back of the head as he passes by into the living room.
“Stop that. The things you make are just fine. It doesn’t have to be useful, it just has to be thoughtful,” Wayne says, settling into his chair. “So quit standing around whining and go come up with something you can make to woo your boy.”
“Oh my god.” Eddie covers his face, even though Wayne will definitely already know he’s gone red. “You’re actually the worst. I don’t know why I talk to you.”
“You’re welcome for the advice,” Wayne drawls.
“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie waves a dismissive hand at him, but the quick “thanks” he throws out afterwards is entirely sincere.
He retreats to his room after that; apparently, he has some thinking to do.
[Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue | Ao3]
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hazelfoureyes · 16 days
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Do you think you could do a male version of the radioapple is the safe word? Or maybe just a gender neutral pronouned story? I adore it so much
of course! I am happy to adapt my stories whenever possible 🥺✨ sometimes I can’t but this one was an easy enough shift! didn’t tag the horny deer cult, this is the same story but with the hardware swapped out. Will tag in new pieces 🙏 warning; I almost exclusively watch femboy gay porn and it shows
The Safeword is RadioApple (Part 1)
(RadioApple x MaleReader)
Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱✨NEW✨
tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, smut, RadioApple in a sense, male reader, creampie, breath play, rough sex, Alastor is an eternal little shit, soft jazz, hard jazz, Luci calls himself Daddy, 🗣️ READER GETS SPITROASTED, threesome, asshole hulk smashed, half assed blowjob, help I got too horny on main
MINORS DNI BRUH
“Sir.”
Lucifer jumped, whipping around and shoving Alastor’s face away. “You are a living nightmare, fuck!” He hated being snuck up on, as most people do. Adjusting his hat, he looked around the hotel lobby to see if anyone else witnessed his personal jump scare. Charlie and Vaggie were seated nearby, but hadn’t paid them any attention.
“I aim to please! Now,” Alastor gestured to the stairs, “I, unfortunately, need to show you something upstairs.”
“Ha!” Lucifer forced out a laugh, “Ha. Haaa- Not a chance, scarecrow. Find someone else to search for your brain.” He smirked to himself. “Did you hear that Charlie? I made a joke.”
But Charlie was not laughing. She finally turned her focus to them. “Dad, you have to start trying to get along with Alastor.” She looked to Alastor who was nodding along as if he actually cared at all, “He’s trying to spend time with you. Come on, Dad. For me?”
With a pout, he dramatically crossed his arms, “Fine. I’ll play nice, for you. Not for him.” Lucifer glared daggers at Alastor. “Fuck him.”
“Daaad!” She groaned.
“Yeah yeah, I’m going.” 
Alastor let his microphone follow behind Lucifer’s back, an unseen and unfelt safety net so he couldn’t back out. When they approached Alastor’s door, Lucifer put up his hands as if to physically stop the situation from progressing, “There is no way in all of hell I am going in your bedroom.”
Alastor’s eyes rolled, frustrated already with the interaction. “Are you sure about that?” He pushed the door open, using his mic to make contact with the small of Lucifer’s back. He stopped resisting when he finally looked into the room.
He took a step in, willingly, and as he saw you sitting in the center of the bed in just your sleep robe, he let out a quiet, “What the fuck is this?”
Then a louder, “Heeey, kitten…”. The sound of the door locking made his head whip back to Alastor, teeth bared.
“Luci.”
Softened under the sound of his own name from your lips he brought his attention back to the bed.
It was no secret to anyone that you two were fond of each other. It was the little things you did that endeared the fallen angel to you, how you doted on him. Filling his glass at dinner when you noticed it getting close to empty, holding the door for him, keeping eye contact when he went off on some excited tangent.
Everyone was also aware you were Alastor’s person. And Alastor would give you anything you wanted in death; and today you happened to want Luci.
You’d seen the broadcasts of the King of Hell defending his daughter during the last extermination. The power he gave off, even from your screen, brought goosebumps down your arms. So when you found your way to the hotel, you were elated to see Lucifer himself readily available for interactions. Your luck continued, as your father’s love of jazz had been passed down to you and allowed the radio demon to notice your presence among the sea of new residents. Following the sounds of Nat ‘King’ Cole, he found you one evening in your room, and a mutual fondness for music bore a new friend. And then, more. 
Soon enough you were a regular member of the Hazbin Hotel core crew, by way of Alastor.
That’d been some months ago now, and you finally had the courage to ask Alastor for a special favor.
No part of him understood your motivation, but the idea of making the king of hell pussy-whipped to his darling was understanding enough. And, of course, the pleasure of watching you enjoy yourself. While he was capable all his own, he was happy to allow someone else to fill in. Not to mention—- no, actually, definitely mention the fact it would give him a little more power in the tense dynamic between himself and Lucifer.
For Alastor, sharing you physically wasn’t an issue.  Sex was something he did for your pleasure, though he did enjoy the control he held over you in those intimate moments.
Watching you mewl under someone else, knowing he gave the permission, that Lucifer would never have a chance in Hell if The Radio Demon didn't allow it, made his head dizzy with the loss of blood flow. Whatever pleasure Lucifer could give you was pleasure he has granted you both. The idea of someone pining for you but never having a chance unless he says so made him feel powerful.
“I have a request, of sorts.” You tried to keep your smile still, cheeks twitching with pure nerves. The room was lit by only two small lamps on either nightstand and the light coming from the half open bathroom.
Lucifer approached you, making a dramatic point of going past Alastor. The radio demon chuckled, the king of hell scowled. He placed one knee on the end of the bed, trying to forget this was the spot you shared most nights with Alastor. His smile encouraged you to continue.
“You can say no.” You added quickly. 
“Why would I ever do that?” Lucifer continued to smile at you, too sweetly for what you were going to ask.
“Many reasons.” You added quicker. 
“Come on, tell Luci.” He laughed softly at the idea of denying you anything.
You pressed the tips of your index fingers together nervously, “I want you to fuck me.”
He tried to blink but his eyelids only seemed to rise further and further up his face with every attempt.
“You what now?”
His eyes darted to Alastor, who was now crawling onto the bed and settling behind you. 
“It was a fairly straightforward statement, sir.” Alastor’s tone was always teetering on mocking when he addressed Lucifer, “My dear would like you, for some god awful reason, to bed him.”
If this hadn’t been such a shock, Lucifer would have quipped, “Oh because you can’t, you overdressed maitre d’?”
But when he opened his mouth, there was nothing. He just stared at you. Alastor’s long legs and lanky arms came down beside you, behind you. You looked like the enticing light of an angler fish’s lure, sharp teeth shining just over your shoulder. 
“I thought-,” he motioned between the two of you.
You nodded, “Alastor is happy when I’m happy. And right now, I’d be overjoyed to spend an evening taking care of you.”
Oh, why couldn’t you have said it so sweetly the first time? Take care of him? You always did. Every time he felt something lacking he’d find you close behind offering him just the thing.
Whether a smile, or supportive word, or just a sympathetic ear.
Shifting onto your hands and knees, you crawled toward Lucifer. His face was flush, his brows knitted together in some mix of worry and confusion.
“You don’t have to do that, kitten. I don’t need that.” He reached out a hand to touch your cheek but stopped himself; he’d never touched you before. He had gone out of his way to avoid it, because he couldn’t bear what it would do to him. He’d just be hurting himself, he had thought. His hand began to pull away but you reached out with both of yours and took hold of his wrist.
“I don’t have to do anything, ever, Luci,” Alastor’s grin widened as you said it. A hum of approval only he could hear. A silent, ‘That’s my boy.’
“This is about what I want.” You leaned up to rest your cheek in his open palm, “I’ll accept any answer from you.” Your eyes staring up at him promised safety, “So, what do you want?”
He buried his face in his free hand, opening his fingers to look over you once more. In the shade of the canopied bed, Alastor sat motionless. But Lucifer couldn’t see him, not because of the shadows but because his focus was so purely on you. He had absolute tunnel vision, which happened often when you two would speak. Lucifer made a low sound, coming from somewhere deep in his chest,  hidden beneath all his shame and sense of inadequacy.
Your question was answered as he removed his hat, tossing it to the chaise lounge near the wall. You sat back on your legs and gave him space to remove his coat. Your heart seemed to double its pace, skin practically vibrating. A not-insignificant part of you expected a gentle but firm, “kindly fuck off.”
He seemed to be avoiding eye contact as he pulled his bow tie loose, only returning his knee to the bed when he’d kicked off his boots. Just the shifting of the weight of the bed made your thighs twitch, finally. Alastor leaned backed and watched, Lucifer’s gaze was full of uncertainty as he crawled to you. 
Hilarious. Already worth the price of admission. 
Both on your knees, you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s lips. Pulling back, you looked at him and he felt like we’re looking at the sun. Your face was so bright, and warm. What light were you reflecting back at him? Surely not his own. That was long dead. Long buried under bruised wings and lost promises. 
You snaked your fingers into his hair and brought him in for a deeper kiss. When you bit gently on his bottom lip, he shakily opened his mouth. Your grin spread across both of your faces as you pushed your way past his lips.
Lucifer’s tongue was long, and tapered more than you’d expected. It moved, unsure, against yours. Your hands slunk out of his hair and down his chest, sliding until finding the buttons of his vest. 
You felt him gasp into you, and when you began to open his shirt he pulled away, “It’s been… a very long time.”
A scream echoed in your skulll, your own scream, thankfully entirely in your mind. He was so cute. So soft. He looked so worried, you wanted to rip him to pieces with affection. Was that possible? You were going to try.
Your hands fumbled over his belt, the tremble in your fingers making the pants button feel like an aptitude test. Your mouth returned to him, kissing down his cheeks and into the space under his jaw. Finally you could slip your hand down into his pants, and you hissed without thinking.
He was painfully hard, throbbing head pressed into his skin. Your own cock twitched under your robe at the feeling.
Did you do this? Had you gotten the King like this with just a question and a kiss? Tip nearly purple with pressure, you rested your forehead on his collarbone and watched his stomach jump as you wrapped your fingers around it.
Alastor fought back a laugh, tongue nearly cut clean off with the attempt. This was better than he had expected. And he had just the idea to push it over the top.
When your head dipped to swipe your tongue over Lucifer’s cock, you both startled at the sudden sound of music. First you looked to the radio, then to Alastor.
One hand was loosening his bow tie, the other unbuckling his pants. 
“Don’t stop on my accord,” he bit his bottom lip, watching your attention return to Lucifer’s lap. 
Lucifer raised a finger in protest, “I wasn’t aware this was a group activity.”
“The more the merrier.” Alastor whipped his belt off and tossed it to the floor, other hand pulling his member free.
“Three’s a crowd.” 
“Two heads are better than one.” When Alastor lifted your robe away and sunk himself into you, hole soft and ready for him already, you moaned into the blonde hair at the base of Lucifer’s cock.
Your breath over his shaft and now down his balls made his hips buck against you. Your hands gripped at Lucifer’s thighs, trying to get steady enough to return your mouth to his waiting heat. You could smell his arousal, your head dizzy with so many of your senses being assaulted by both men. 
“You okay, kitten?” A concerned hand came to your cheek. 
Your watery, lust clouded eyes met his, “It feels so good, Luci.” His dick jerked. When you finally managed to get him in your mouth his head fell back, legs under him twitching with the need to move along to the bobbing of your head. Lucifer was wider than Alastor, the corners of your mouth burning as you tried to take in as much of him as possible. 
Alastor’s hand raked long nails down your back, a whine ran from your throat and down Lucifer’s shaft.  He moaned in turn, trying to not connect the dots between himself and Alastor.
“I think you may need a little demonstration, from someone more–, “ Alastor leaned down, his face now inches from Lucifer’s. His hand wrapped around your neck, “experienced.” He pulled you up by your throat.
Lucifer watched, your knees no longer touching the bed as Alastor fucked up into you. One hand gripping your throat, one arm holding your body against his. Your face began to redden, and your thighs noticeably clenching as best they could, legs open and feet on either side of Alastor’s body. Your cock hard and bouncing with every thrust. Lucifer winced, you looked pained, he wanted—
“Aa--Alastor,” Your voice was like honey, thick and sweet around Alastor’s name. Lucifer’s face fell flat, how could he have that? What did he need to do to have you say his name in such a debauched way? Why did that gangly sack of bones get all of the fun?
“See? He can handle more than you’d expect.” Alastor grinned, planting a kiss on your neck. You could see Lucifer watching through your wet eyelashes, his cock twitching repeatedly as his hand finally came down to touch himself. 
With the hand not holding onto Alastor’s wrist at your throat, you reached out for Lucifer. “Luci.” 
Alastor let you fall forward. Keeping your hips in the air and knees dangling just above the comforter, he continued his rough pace into your tight heat. Pulling your body on and off of his length with harsh drags he watched you lick from the base to the top of Lucifer’s member. Each thrust from him knocking your chin against it. 
When you popped the head back into your mouth and moaned around it from Alastor’s continued fucking, Lucifer gripped your hair with both hands. Alastor’s own erection jumped in you, the king of hell himself buckling from his dearest’s mouth. He could break him entirely by just pulling you off of Lucifer’s cock and refusing to return you. He was positive Lucifer would cry into his ruined orgasm if he did such a thing.
Tempting.
But, he promised to play along, for you. And he would, at his own terms. 
He pushed aside the thought entirely, instead returning to the task in front of him. Your tongue was pinned down when Lucifer was in your mouth, cock too fat to allow any room for movement. You abandoned trying to suck him off, and changed tactics to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh in your hands. 
Lucifer’s mind was—- he wasn't sure where exactly. His consciousness splintered around you. The feeling of you; your tongue was swirling around him, the first contact he’s had other than himself in literal years. The sound of you; your soft moans and huffs were both audible and physical, the hot breath ghosting over him. The sight of you; head in his lap as he leaned back, your ass in the air and making a satisfying slapping noise every time– 
Alastor. His eyes met Lucifer’s and a wicked grin took hold of his features. Lucifer could practically hear Alastor whisper across your body, ‘Watch this.’ Maybe Alastor had thought it, but he kept it to himself. 
Your hands began pumping Lucifer’s length while your body was slightly dragged away as Alastor backed up and let your knees find some solid ground again. 
Lucifer sat on his legs still, eyes flitting from between your face to the place you and Alastor connected. He could see Alastor disappearing inside you, and every intrusion had you gasping and mewling into the blankets. Your hand was still gently stroking him with outstretched arms, eyes clenched close.
Alastor smirked up at Lucifer, coming down over your back to reach around your body and find your dick, now pulsing under his hand. Immediately, you reacted. Legs squeezing together, hands stilling around your king’s cock. With a bite and lick to your shoulder blade, the radio demon set a bruising pace against you. That warmth in your core was spreading down as you felt him press against your g-spot with every kiss of his hips. 
You choked out his name, a chant Lucifer had never wanted to hear before now. How could you make Alastor’s name sound so delicious? He wrapped his fingers around yours on his dick and began moving with you. Your eyes rolled up to him, a weak smile forming before your orgasm made your face tighten. Alastor knew your body so well, bringing you to orgasm was like playing a well practiced song on the piano. Both required strong and fast fingers and a sense of rhythm. His hands working your shaft, fingers ghosting over your balls and head with every stroke up and down. 
With a few more deeper, shorter moves Alastor stilled, too. Your knees slid down as your hips sank into the bed, your own release sticky and already cooling under you.
Lucifer let your hand go limp, swallowing hard. He wasn’t ignorant to the way Alastor smiled at him as he reclined into the headboard, tucking himself back into his pants. 
“I have complete faith in you, for once.” Alastor teased Lucifer, hand motioning to your still limp body. His smile seemed to dare Lucifer, challenge him, to keep going even with Alastor’s release sitting pretty in you. 
Luci took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, before pushing the hair from your forehead, “Hey there, kitten. What do ya need?”
With an uncharacteristic hunger in your eyes, you forced your line of sight up to him, “You, Luci.” Visibly shuddering, you sat up and brought your legs towards him, your knees touching each other in an odd display of shyness. Your hand felt at your entrance, Alastor’s seed just beginning to find its way from your relaxed and stretched hole. 
“Is it okay?” You asked, spreading the thick fluid between your fingers in front of Luci. 
Something between a grimace and a pout came over him, it wasn’t his ideal situation but the idea of — just how much he’d slip and slide in and out of your with the added lubrication made him feel feral. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Alastor hoped to ruin you and sour his experience. He decided to not allow it. 
With a kiss to his nose, you wrapped your arms around his neck and lied back. You weren’t sure you were breathing anymore when you felt his scorching head slot up with your entrance. He rubbed the leaking fluid over himself and you with swipes up and down your ass, teasing your entrance with every pass. The difference between his heat and the cooled cum made him shiver in turn. 
As he began to press into you, your body instinctively scooted away. It took both of your hands hooked under his arms to stay still enough for him to make any real headway. 
Luci stopped, your face clearly pained. Your head shook in response, “Please, you just have to keep going. I’ll adjust.” While both of his heads swelled with pride – Alastor’s cock clearly smaller – Luci didn’t notice the wild eyes of the radio demon. 
Alastor brought a hand to his face, red eyes peering between his spread fingers, smile threatening to break at the seams as he watched Lucifer Morningstar fucking his cum into his darling dear. 
 What a pitiful sight. How humiliating.
What would Charlie think of her big bad daddy? What would the other sins say? If they could see their king now, slick and shiny?
Your nails cut into his skin, and you were worried you were tearing slightly. Instead of attempting to thrust his way in, he chose to just continually press. The way your body seemed to be splitting made you second guess your decisions. But when his head finally popped in, your bullied boy cunt got some reprieve. He stopped, taking deep breaths. 
Tears were collecting on your waterline, Luci noticed and leaned on an elbow to wipe them away. His blonde hair was falling forward now, tickling at your forehead. 
You nodded, answering a question he didn’t ask, and he continued to force your walls open to accommodate him. The only sound in the room was the soft instrumental jazz number playing from atop the dresser. Your voice was stuck in your throat, Luci was focusing too hard to form words. Alastor could speak, but the music was just too enjoyable to interrupt. 
Finally, after what could have been two minutes or twenty, you felt Luci bottom out. You had to just lie there for a second, never having felt something so solid in your otherwise soft body. No slight to Alastor, who was perfectly skilled in his abilities. Luci was just—- more than you had expected. 
As he pulled out, you thanked the heavens and hell and the rings within that Alastor had left you so wet and already softened. The first few thrusts were genuinely uncomfortable, the pleasure you felt almost entirely mental, drawn from the reality of who was pulling your insides back and forth. You were so tight around him that he too was almost pained; so much pressure but no way to move enough to get any release.
Slowly, the ring of your entrance relented and Luci could finally move at a normal pace. He would take himself out to his head before slipping back in. Every thrust made your body spread around him, a semi-truck through a field of sunflowers. Your body didn’t stand a chance, and you were grateful he chose gentleness for his entrance.
He leaned back on both hands, using the position to fucked up into you at an angle. He knew very well where to hit to begin gathering your pleasure.
Alastor dropped his head, yours between his legs. His hair made a short curtain, hiding the look he was giving you from Luci. He adores the faces you make when you are happy. Excited. Pleasured. You tried to offer him a smile, but you couldn’t manage it for long. Your eyes would roll back, lips tighten as you focused on the feeling Luci was providing. Focused on the sensations, of being so full, so sticky wet, so wanted. But Alastor was still watching, the sight of Luci blocked from his view as he enjoyed every little twitch of your mouth, every whimper. 
It wasn’t jealousy, it was something more personal that stung Luci. While he couldn’t actually discern the looks you two gave each other, Luci felt very much the odd man out. But, he considered his position. Literally. He was leaning as far from your body as he could. He remembered the way you said Alastor’s name. Alastor had showed him exactly what to do, albeit in his usual obnoxious, showy fashion.
Sitting up, Luci adjusted your legs and slotted himself between them. Alastor leaned back, relinquishing your focus. Both of you looked at Luci though as one of his hands came to enclose your throat.
Alastor was almost impressed. Almost. You brought both hands to wrap around his wrist, glancing to Alastor behind you.
The words came out of Alastor as half warning, half instruction, “If he needs you to stop, he’ll tap two fingers twice on you, wherever he can reach.” Lucifer nodded, eyes not meeting Alastor’s. He kept them on your face, watching for any sign of distress as he tightened his grip. The way your muscles clenched around him earned you a hiss.
He began to move again, the new position causing his stomach to rut against your returning erection as he buried himself in you. More clenching; He tightened his grip more. 
“Are you sure he isn’t hurting?” Luci asked, your eyes closed and nails digging into his wrists.
“Nonsense. Can’t you feel him? Or does he just grip me like that?” The cocky expression made Luci unconsciously clench his fist on your neck. A gentle tap tap snapped him back to you. He loosened up again, his eyes large and apologetic.
You unconsciously tightened your own grip on his dick, grinding up into him for more friction. Your body had finally relaxed, pleasure freely flowing from where you and Luci tangled together. You closed your eyes, the pressure constant on the veins to your head. Blood flow restricted just enough to lower your oxygen levels and raise the nitrogen oxide in your body. It resulted in a dizzying feeling, maybe there was a primal panic that caused your body to feel heightened pleasure. You didn’t feel scared, or in danger. You felt —— ah there it was. You felt weak. You felt docile. You felt like you existed purely to give pleasure and the idea turned you on. In every day life you’d never allow someone to use you, to push you around. You were anything but subservient. That’s why it was so enthralling now. It was so strange a sensation. And to give yourself so fully to the king of hell, the originator of all sin? You groaned, head rolling back. 
Luci watched your head loll, drank in your groans and gasps and felt himself get dizzy too. More. Say his name like you did Alastor’s. Praise how well he fucked you. Reward him. Love him.
He pulled out suddenly, his head leaving you for the first time since it managed to fit in initially. Luci put both hands on your hips and directed you to roll onto your stomach. He pulled your ass up, knees bent. You crawled up enough to rest your forehead on the crook of Alastor’s leg, one lazily outstretched and the other bent under him slightly. Luci wasted no time pushing back in. He leaned over you and pressed his hand into your back, forcing your chest to be slightly crushed into the bed. He pulled out and slammed back into you, tearing a yelp from you as he hit deeper than he had before, stomach lurching into your chest with the impact.
He stopped, unsure, until he felt your hand reach under yourself and rest at the junction of his knee and calf. His other hand came to your right hip, and he used it to keep you from sliding up the bed. Letting his eyes close again, he focused on the feeling of you around him. His crotch and thighs were covered in oil and cum, his balls tight against him. Every drag out of you made his body jerk back into you with need. It felt so good, too good. He needed more. He pressed hard into you, oversized tip of his cock opening parts of you never before reached. He made shorter thrusts now, ensuring he bottomed out every time. It was too deep, too much of a stretch. Your moans slowly devolved into screams, the pleasure mixed with a soft burning. 
You could feel him spreading open your body, soft walls helpless to resist his raging member. The feeling of your silky boy cunt sliding along his cock, your tight hole gripping him, was driving him mad.
You were screaming. Actual, pleasured screams, threatening to alert the entire hotel to your activities. Wails that started shrill and dipped into a gutteral cry filled the room with every thrust of Lucifer’s frenzied hips.
A tiny part of your brain felt embarrassed, a dying animal shrieking into Alastor’s thigh.
An ever shrinking part of Lucifer existed too, the piece of him too preoccupied with your two fingers on his leg to enjoy you. It got smaller and smaller, no longer a blockade to his pleasure, but a safety net allowing him to walk the tightrope of sadism.
The radio’s volume dial rolled, smooth jazz now blaring and drowning out your painfully pleasured cries. Alastor was fine with allowing someone to take care of your needs at his permission but strangers had no business enjoying your sounds.
As Luci became lost in the sensation of your body trying to suck him in whole, his hand on your back began to press down. Your breaths got shorter, it got harder to expand your lungs fully.
Face turned and drooling onto the fabric of Alastor’s pants, you started gasping out his name, “Luci! Nngh Luciiii, Lucifer.”
Your lips dropped his name and it fell like lead into his thoughts. He fought the urge to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm building. He watched your flushed skin jump beneath every punishing thrust, his name a spell you could now barely whisper, not enough breathe to scream. Your upper body was entirely buried into the mattress. It felt like your back might snap with Luci’s loss of control. You kept your hand on his leg, ever ready to tap out.
The yellow of his eyes turned red, just like the skin of your ass where his hip bones chaffed. “You take me so well, kitten.” He ground out, “Daddy’s gonna cum.”
Alastor’s eyes glowed a blood red from the end of the bed, a wickedly devious grin across his face at the opportunity before him, he looked up at Luci and said with a commanding tone, “Cum.”
Luci was already over that peak when his eyes flew up to catch Alastor’s, it was too late to stop his orgasm. He was helpless to disobey, despite his now desperate desire to never cum again. With a moan, and a hiss, he pressed your body fully into the mattress. Your body now flush, he waited until his cock stopped jerking his long overdue seed into your bruised ass.
Luci lied on top of you even after you were full to the brim with his cum. It was already forcing its way out around his softening cock when he managed to roll off of you and onto his back.
Staring at the canopy of the bed, he felt two emotions rise to the surface. First, concern. He turned to you, and you gave a weak thumbs up.
Second, rage.
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.” He looked to Alastor, who was grinning as he pet your head, whispering something to you. 
“Little late for dirty talk, your highness.”
Lucifer growled, but Alastor’s palm pressed against his forehead and pushed him back down to the bed.
“I sleep on the left. I’d prefer you on the right.” he gently moved your head from his lap, “Beside me, my dear. A darling barrier.” Alastor didn’t look at Lucifer, just slid off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom. “No outside clothes under the comforter.” Alastor called from the bathroom before the sound of rushing water poured in.
You rolled onto your back, still catching your breath. Body sprawled out on the massive bed like a starfish.
Lucifer turned onto his side, hand caressing your arm. “Are you okay, kitten? I didn’t mean to lose myself like that.” He felt shame, like he had done something terrible. “And— I didn’t help you finish. That’s pretty shitty.”
But it fell away when you smiled back at him, “I feel great. Sore, but great all the same.” You let your fingers clumsily lace with his. “I really like you, Luci. And I don’t need to cum to enjoy myself. You can always try again, ya know?”
Lucifer felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t press you to clarify what exactly that meant before Alastor scooped you up and carried you to the bath.
There was a moment where he was alone, noticing the radio was back to a tolerable volume, the water splashing softly out of view. He felt out of place, like he had accidentally walked into a stranger’s home. He wasn’t sure what to do next, where to go from there when Alastor’s head popped back into the room, annoyed, “Are you coming or not? Those are clean sheets.”
༻Masterlist༺
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cranberrymoons · 4 months
Text
under the mistletoe
prompt: idiots to lovers (@steddieholidaydrabbles) rated: m word count: 957 words tags: getting together, making out, mild cw for a little bit of outdated language about bisexuality (referring to steve as "part gay")
welcome to Day 8 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!
“Like, you hear how fucking stupid that sounds, don’t you?”
Steve shuts the cash drawer with his hip. “It’s not stupid, it’s just –” He folds his arms over his chest. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Robin narrows her eyes. “What, because I’m just so inexperienced?”
“No, because we’re –” He lets out a frustrated breath. “We’re guys. We’re both guys, there’s nothing going on there.” 
Her eyebrows disappear into her bangs, and she opens her mouth, and he holds up his hands. 
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says quickly. “Just – we’re friends. That’s it.”
“Making out with him while you’re drunk at a party is the opposite of nothing going on.” She shakes him, gripping his arm tight enough that it actually hurts a little. “Oh my god.”
“I told you, it’s not that big of a deal,” he says. “You weren’t even there. It was like, a joke kiss. It was nothing.”
She raises her eyebrows at him. “Did you or did you not stick your tongue down his throat?”
He feels his face heat immediately. “Yeah, but there was like – mistletoe and shit, you’ve got to –”
“God, and look at you.” She lets him go in favor of sweeping the rest of the returns into the bin to be dealt with in the morning. “You actually like him.”
“I don’t,” Steve says. Then, “I mean – he’s Eddie! He’s our friend, of course I like him.”
She rolls her eyes, shoving the rest of her things into her bag and hiking it up on her shoulder. 
“Whatever, dude,” she says. “I swear to god, if you don’t make out with him for real by Christmas, I’m going to do it for you.”
He makes a face. “Please don’t.”
---
It’s a week later when they talk about it again. 
He’s the one who actually brings it up this time, because everyone’s over at his house for a movie night, and Steve catches Robin in the kitchen, wraps his hand around her wrist and drags her closer to duck their heads together while everyone else carries snacks into the living room.
“Okay, did you see that?”
She widens her eyes. “By that , do you mean the fact that he just touched your actual ass?” she asks. “Yeah, Steve. I saw it.”
He motions for her to keep it down, darting a look at the doorway to make sure no one’s listening. 
“He didn’t touch my ass, it was more like –” He motions behind himself, touching the spot where Eddie’s hand had rested, just for a minute. “Like my back. Right here. Right?”
She shakes her head, giving him a look like she can’t believe he’s not getting it. Which, fair enough. He’d probably be doing the same if things were flipped, but they’re not , and –
“It was here,” she says, reaching around to touch him, hand sliding down until he jerks away.
“Don’t touch my ass.”
She gives him a look. “See?”
He stares at her for a beat, taking a measured breath as he turns it over in his head. 
“What do I do about it?”
She makes a face. “How am I supposed to know?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “You’re gay, aren’t you?”
“So are you, apparently,” she says. “At least partially, if you want Eddie Munson to touch your ass again.”
He motions again for her to be quiet, casting another desperate look in the direction of the living room.
“Come on,” he hisses. “Just – what do I do?”
She sighs. “Kiss him again,” she says. “And not a joke this time.” She picks up her bowl of popcorn and narrows her eyes at him. “And then pay me a thousand dollars for being right.”
---
And he does. Well – not the thousand dollars, but –
A few nights later, it’s just the two of them, him on the couch in Eddie’s new apartment with Eddie’s lips trailing a searing line up his throat as he arches off the cushions and presses himself closer, hands shaking as he pushes them back through Eddie’s hair.
He gasps, angling Eddie’s head so he can lick into his mouth, and he loses himself in the kiss for a moment, in the way Eddie’s hands drag over his skin, in the warm glow of the TV playing in the background. But it’s something twinkly and holiday-y, and it jogs Steve’s memory enough that he sucks in a breath, pulling away to speak, holding Eddie back gently when he chases after his mouth.
“Just –” He gets drawn into another kiss, eyes fluttering shut. “One thing.”
Eddie hums, grazing light fingers up his side. “What could possibly be more important than this?”
“Nothing, just…” Eddie rolls his hips down, and it makes Steve’s breath stutter in his chest, gasping as he feels the hard line of Eddie settle against him. “Just –” Another kiss. And another. And – “Just don’t tell Robin until next week. After Christmas.”
This actually does cause Eddie to pull away, and he lets out a confused laugh.
His lips are swollen and slick, and his hair is mussed up from Steve’s fingers, and Steve can’t help but drag him back down, groaning into the kiss as he gets lost again. After a moment, Eddie pulls away to ask, staying close enough that their lips brush together when he speaks.
“Do I even want to know why?”
“No,” Steve says. He drags his teeth over Eddie’s bottom lip. “Just – she was right about something. Can’t let her win, though. She wants a thousand bucks. I’m not sure.”
Eddie snorts, shaking his head before dipping further down to bite at Steve’s jaw. 
“You two are so weird.”
[also on ao3]
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subway-tolkien · 5 months
Text
Okay, this is 1600 words of (positive!) meta regarding the OFMD finale. Included is character analysis and a treatise on why a certain trope people keep throwing around does not apply here.
This is of course just my take, and I'm sure people will disagree, but I needed to get this out. Apologies if it comes off disjointed, I've had like no sleep.
Spoilers within, obviously. You have been warned. Heed the tags. I didn't tag any characters because I consider it a spoiler, but you know who this is about.
Listen. Listen.
Let me start off by saying I have been where you are. I’ve had beloved characters die, either because it was important to the narrative or for shock value. I’ve been there, so I’m not coming at this without empathy. I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him as a character. I’m truly sad to see him go.
But from what I’m seeing around Twitter and tumblr, some of you do not understand the role of an antagonist in a story.
Izzy was always meant to die. The moment he said, in the first season, “the only retirement we get is death,” I knew he was meant to die in the end. The foreshadowing ran through both seasons. Izzy was the true antagonist of S1. He was there to keep Blackbeard tethered when he started pulling away, and yet he also set the plot in motion. He inadvertently introduced Blackbeard to the person who let him be just Ed. He put Ed on his own path to redemption without even knowing it.
S1 ended with Izzy getting what he wanted as Ed lost everything he had. S2 was about Izzy coming to terms with the fact that he’d gone too far, he’d turned Ed into a monster. It wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Blackbeard back, just like old times. Instead, he got the Kraken, and it was more than he bargained for.
Especially after it cost him his leg and he realized how far gone Ed really was. The conversation that ended with Izzy’s half-assed suicide attempt was the final blow to Izzy—Ed really didn’t seem to care anymore. Where Izzy wanted him to stop giving a shit about his silly boyfriend, he instead got a Blackbeard who didn’t care about anything, and he was apparently now included in that category.
(I said half-assed suicide attempt because Izzy wasn’t meant to die then, THAT would have been an empty, pointless death. It wouldn’t have taught Ed anything—in fact, all it did was make him more self-destructive, which was Izzy’s purpose to the narrative, but not his endgame. That Ed thought Izzy killed himself pushed Ed to the brink. Ed wanted to die and take every scrap of Blackbeard with him. Had Izzy successfully killed himself, Ed and the Revenge would be at the bottom of the ocean.
It wasn’t until the crew left Izzy the unicorn leg that he realized the power of compassion, the incredible act of grace from a crew that suffered so much from Izzy’s own machinations and didn't need to forgive him. It moved him to tears, and it moved him to accept that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to let people in, to let himself be cared for. It was a foreign concept and something Izzy likely hadn’t experienced since losing his family (I fully expect a shit ton of fanfic of Izzy’s life before piracy).
Israel Hands found the capacity to let love all the way in and by god, did he pursue it.
But, again, Izzy was always meant to die, and I’m glad they stuck to the narrative they set out with instead of placating fandom and letting our influence dictate how they told this story That’s never good, trust me. Fandom should not influence a creator’s decisions regarding their own characters. It rarely if ever ends well.
[Stares in Voltron S8]
And I see a lot of people out here throwing the “bury your gays” phrase around—I beg you, please look up the definition of the trope. Izzy didn’t die because he was queer, he didn’t die because of his disability. He wasn’t one half of the only queer couple in the show fridged for shock value. He wasn’t killed off due to pressure from conservative viewers. He wasn’t the only queer, disabled character.
They didn’t kill off Lucius, or Jackie, or Wee John. Would you be as outraged if it was any of them?
Killing Eve is bury your gays. Supernatural is bury your gays. Pretty much any film, book, TV show, whatever, where a queer character dies because they’re queer, of AIDs, to further the narrative for a straight person, etc—that is burying your gays.
Izzy’s death was none of those things. Izzy’s death had meaning.
Izzy’s death freed Ed from the Blackbeard persona. It finally forced Izzy to say the things he couldn’t say until he realized it was his last chance. Izzy was also tired. I honestly think he stuck it out for Ed’s sake, because he was afraid to let Blackbeard go without making sure Ed would be ok.
He loved the idea of Blackbeard, but over time, he learned to love Ed. He finally understood what Ed tried to tell him the whole time.
“Fuck off, you twat. You’re surrounded by family.”
You’re safe. You’re loved. You don’t need me anymore. You don’t need to be reminded of who you’re capable of being, you need the people who will guide you to who you will become, and I’m not one of them.
I know a lot of Izzy fans are stung by his death, some of you are deeply upset. I get that. Like I said, I’ve been there. Sirius’s death made me throw that fucking book across the room. That Fucking Woman™ killed off my entire OTP, purely for shock value and, imho, a direct response to shippers. Trust me, I have felt betrayed by a creator for their decisions.
But I need you to understand that no, this was not a personal attack, this was not malicious, this was not “bury your gays." A show that celebrates queerness and diversity is not suddenly homophobic and ableist because your favorite character died and happened to be both of those things. But when the majority of your cast of characters is different in some way, and they’re in a show about 18th century pirates, you have to accept that one of them could, in fact, die. “Anyone Can Die” is also a trope and the more accurate one to describe E8.
If only being queer and disabled made you invincible.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
And no, I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him, I loved him as an antagonist, and I loved his redemption arc. He was fascinating and Con put his whole O’Nussy into that part. I’m sorry to see him go, but as a mystery writer who often has to kill off beloved characters, I understand that he served the purpose he had from the beginning.
I swear, if some of you had your way, there’d be no conflict at all in any form of media. This what a steady diet of nothing but fanfic gets you. This is not a fluffy one-shot with magical healing dick and a happy ending where everyone sails off into the sunset. If that’s what you wanted, what you headcanoned, you did this to yourself. It’s not David et al’s fault that we took that character and babygirled him. That’s the risk we take when we decide to love a specific character, when we take a genuinely terrible person (in S1) and woobify him.
So, please stop harassing and attacking David, Alex, et al. David did not and should not change his story to placate us. The fact he went ahead with it despite the backlash I’m sure he expected makes me respect him as a creator even more.
Anyway, I’m going to revel that we have three (!) queer relationships with happy endings where one or both didn’t immediately die (again, the actual definition of “bury your gays”) and that we got at least two seasons of a little show that celebrated individualism, diversity, queerness, compassion, and love.
In the end, it all came down to love.
“There he is.”
Goodbye, Blackbeard.
Hello, Ed.
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soursturniolo · 4 months
Text
left • chris sturniolo
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pairing: chris/fem!reader
tags: angst, misunderstanding, party scene, mention of past cheating in past relationship, fluff at the end
As I wave and say goodbye to my old friend Alex, I make my way through the crowded hallways and rooms trying to find my boyfriend Chris. I squeeze through people smelling of cigarettes, weed, and alcohol as I search the faces hoping to find his or at least a familiar one.
I let out a sigh of relief upon meeting a familiar pair of blue eyes by the front door. Nick. He smiles and waves me over to him.
“Hey babe, have you seen chris? Matt’s wanting to leave, he’s already in the car ready to go,” he tells me as he looks over me, also searching the crowd for Chris. I frown and shake my head.
“No, I’m still looking for him. We got separated when I went upstairs to talk to my old friend Alex,” I tell him, to which his eyes light up.
“Alex? That really cute tall guy with black hair who I’m like 99% likes men?” He asks me, sounding excited.
“Yeah! He’s an old friend of mine, we used to be coworkers. I could set you up if you want?” I offer, laughing at his giddiness.
“Oh my god please, he’s so fine,” Nick whisper yells.
“Okay, I will! Anyways, I’m still looking for chris so you guys go ahead and head back and we can just get an Uber, okay?” I suggest.
Nick nods in agreement, pulling me in for a quick hug.
“Okay, you guys be safe, we’ll see you back home,” he assures me before leaving out the front door and heading to their car. I let out a small sigh as I turn back to face the party. Nick and Matt left, Alex left once we finished talking, and I have no idea where chris is in this crowded house party. There’s at least 200 people here and I don’t know anyone here now except for Chris. I hope I can find him soon.
After twenty minutes of searching various rooms and outside I give up, sitting on a porch bench outside as I pull my phone out of my purse to text Chris to see where he is.
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The tears in my eyes finally overflow as I sniffle, putting my phone back in my purse and holding it on my lap as I wait. I can’t believe he’d just leave me here all alone. I’d never do that to him. Not only is that embarrassing but it’s so hurtful. I feel like trash and I didn’t even do anything wrong. Alex is gay. And even if he wasn’t I’d never do anything or cheat on Chris. I love him too much to even consider that.
I thought he knew that? I thought he trusted me. My tears keep streaming down my face, some falling to my lap as others slide down my cheeks and down my neck. I reach my hand up to try to wipe some away, just to look at my hand and see a dark smudge. Great. I didn’t wear waterproof mascara so now I’m sure I look ridiculous with mascara streaks everywhere.
I sniffle again try blinking away the rest of my tears as I hear a car pull up. It’s them. I see Chris quickly jump out of the back, making his way up to me quickly. I stand from the park bench, and notice how much my feet are hurting, making me wince. As Chris walks up to me that’s the first thing he sees.
“Baby, are you okay?” He asks, searching my tear streaked face with a remorseful expression.
“Fine,” my voice cracks a bit from my tears and crying fest as I step out of my heels, picking them up to carry them. Chris reaches out a hand to offer to carry them, but I shake my head and walk past him to the car.
“Baby, wait” he calls, as he follows me. Feeling anger bubble up, I whip around to face him.
“What Chris? What do you want to talk about? How you left me here? How you assumed I was trying to cheat on you with some guy? How you didn’t even care to talk to me about it or make sure I could get home after you left me here? How I know no one else here because Alex left and I sent your brothers home because I never fathomed my boyfriend who I love more than anything would just leave me here like I’m trash? What do you want to talk about, huh?” I question rapidly, yelling by the time I finish, a new set of hot tears rolling down my face.
He sighs, looking at me so defeated and sad. He knows he fucked up. But I don’t have it in me to care about how he feels at the moment.
“I’m so deeply sorry, baby. I fucked up. Big time.” He whispers, looking down at me.
I bring my hands up to my face, roughly wiping my tears away as I nod. I don’t have the energy to talk about this anymore, so I turn around and finish walking to the car, opening the back passenger side door and getting in, sliding down the seat until I’m seated behind Matt. Chris gets in a shuts the door, settling in behind Nick. I feel Matt and Nicks eyes on me and look up at them as I reach for my seatbelt.
“Sorry, guys, for making you come back here for me,” I whisper, feeling embarrassed again at the predicament Chris’s actions have put me in. Nick and Matt quickly shake their heads.
“Hey, it’s perfectly okay we wanted to come get you,” Nick kindly tells me, before giving Chris a glare and turning back around in the front passenger seat.
“This isn’t your fault, no need to apologize, we’re just glad you’re okay,” Matt assures me, his eyes and expression soft before it hardens to a judgement look as he looks to Chris before starting the car.
The car ride back home is quiet. I feel Chris’s gaze on me a few times but I never return it. All I want is a hot shower and to sleep so this night can be over.
The car lurches to a stop in front of the house. I quickly unbuckle and exit the vehicle before Chris can try to say anything. I quickly make my way to our bedroom, setting my heels and purse down as I pick up my previously laid out pj set. I make my way to the adjoined bathroom, shutting and locking the door as Chris makes his way through the bedroom door.
I take my time in the bathroom, taking of my leftover makeup and brushing my hair out before stepping into the steamy shower I had heating up. I shower slowly, exfoliating and shaving as I let a hair mask sit in. I rinse out the mask and rinse my body one last time before turning off the water and stepping out. I dry off quickly and change into my pj set. I now stand in front of the bathroom door, dreading going out to face Chris. I find myself hoping he’s already asleep as I slowly open the bathroom door and step into our dimly lit bedroom that we share. I look up to find him meeting my gaze, changed into a white tank and boxers as he sits up against the headboard. He pats the spot next to him on the bed, and I sigh, shaking my head.
“I’ll sleep in the living room tonight,” I quietly suggest as I walk up to the bed and move to grab my pillow. His hand reaches up and grabs mine gently to stop me.
“Please sit with me. Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking, and then if you still want to not sleep with me I’ll move to the living room, okay?” He quietly asks.
I sigh, mulling it over before nodding. I sit down next to him against the headboard of his bed. Chris reaches out a hesitantly grabs my hands in his, looking at me as if he’s waiting for me to pull away. I consider it, but I’m tired and I just want to hear what he has to say so I can go to sleep. He lets out a sigh of relief when I don’t pull away.
“Baby, you have no idea how sorry I am. I fucked up. There is no excuse for what I did. I just got so scared when I went upstairs and saw you talking with that guy. You guys were getting along and laughing when I came up to find you and my mind immediately went to the worst. And I’m so sorry for what I did after that. I should have never left you there. I shouldn’t have assumed my brothers would get you home. I left my girlfriend at a crowded, gross house party where she barely knew anyone and that’s a mistake that’s on me that I will be apologizing for every day for a long time,” he tells me, expression sad but heartfelt as he apologizes. I can see in his eyes that he’s genuinely sorry for what he did, but I’m still confused and hurt about one thing specifically.
“Why did you think the worst? Why didn’t you trust me?” I ask softly.
He sighs, looking down at our held hands before meeting my eyes again.
“My ex. Before you, a year ago. She cheated on me at a party and it was like the same scenario. She went upstairs to talk to a guy friend ‘in a more quiet space’ she claimed. When I went up to check on her after not seeing her for a bit they were all over each other, making out. It broke my heart. When I came up and saw you and him laughing and playfully hitting each other it took me right back to that moment. But you’re the polar opposite of my ex, in the best way, and I should have known you’d never do that to me. I’m so sorry. Like I said, there’s no excuse for what I did, all I can tell you is that I’m so deeply sorry. I know better, I knew better. I should have done better. And I will next time. I promise you, baby.” He vows.
“You know I’d never cheat on you, right? I love you,” I tell him, feeling my lip quivering as tears gather in my eyes again.
He nods quickly, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me into his chest.
“I know baby, I know. I love you too, I’m so sorry,” he whispers against my head as he pressed gentle kisses there.
“It’s okay,” I whisper against his chest, “just please don’t leave me somewhere again?” I ask, and I feel him quickly nod in agreement.
“Never again, baby, never again. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?” He asks, his hand coming to cup my face to lead me to look up at him. I gaze into his eyes and all I see is a combination of warmth and regret for what he did. I lean in and press my lips gently to his. I feel him smile slightly against my lips, making me smile in return as I pull away.
“I forgive you. Love you too much not to,” I say, laughing a little. He smiles and laughs a bit too, thanking me as he pulls me in for another kiss.
We settle into bed together that night, cuddled close to each other, both of us enjoying the comfort we brought each other.
tag list members; @secret-sturniolo @sturniolopepsi @christinarowie332 @mangosrar @cupidsword @st4rswrld @biimpanicking @bernardenjoyer @lovingsturniolo @loveesiren @sturnphilia @mxqdii @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @its-jennarose @fionaheartswomen @hedgehogperalta @lea0518 @lxvlysworld @mattsd0ll @urmyslxt @thetriplets3 @lilsxo10 @recklesssturniolo @meg-sturniolo @flowerxbunnie @mlimmm
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katiesbowlcut · 9 months
Text
YELLOW JACKETS HEADCANONS | them being jealous
summary: they notice you getting a little too close to another one of the girls, this is how i think they would react to the feelings and emotions that would tag along with it
pairings: nat, misty, taissa, shauna, vanessa, lottie x afab wlw reader
format: headcanons
warning: jealousy, swearing?, suggestive ig
lowercase intended! not proofread! y/n used!
natalie
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- stops speaking to you
- starts going hunting without you
- when you would hunt together she’d ignore you
- gets mad if you talk abt whoever she’s jealous over
- you’ll eventually ask her while you’re out why she’s being so weird with you
- she shouts at you
- you shout back
- “what so you’re mad you’re not the only person i talk to???”
- “no i’m mad because i’m not your fucking person!”
- your argument turns into a love confession on her part
- she starts crying
- she gets really embarrassed and runs back to the cabin
misty
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- would be BEYOND upset
- she’d think that she had done something wrong
- overthinking it way too much
- was she not good enough for you? even after everything she’s done for you?
- would go a little crazy ngl
- she would confront them and basically interrogate them
- would ask things like “what are your intentions with them?” and stuff like that
- coincidentally after that she wouldn’t see them near you anymore
- i’m fact they’d always make sure they are as far away as possible from either of you
- you literally have no idea what happened you just assumed you two just drifted
- yayyy misty wins again!!
taissa
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- she’s been watching you from afar ever since you joined the team
- she’s scared to be openly gay, would people resent her? would they even care the she likes women?
- she’s actually been making an effort to talk to you as much as she can
- whenever shauna was the one giving out the cards for the chores that day she’d beg her to make sure she saved her the closest one to you
- however when you start spending a lot of your time with van, everything changes
- van is openly gay, just like you are
- is it offensive of her to assume you’re dating just because you’re both gay?
- whenever she would speak to you she’d ask about van
- “we’re just friends tai, i swear”
- “sure you are” she’d laugh it off as if she wasn’t genuinely trying to figure out what was going on between you two
- one day tai is out getting water and when she turns around to head back you’re just standing there
- you very quickly explain that you have feelings for her and that’s why you’ve been with van so much because you’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with them
- she drops the bucket of water and pulls you in for a quick yet passionate kiss
- “take it you feel the same?”
shauna
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- she’d be so jealous
- my god you better watch your back
- she’s so scary
- the glares she’d give you both when you’re talking? lethal.
- the things she’d write about the person she’s jealous over in her journal? vile.
- she would be really quiet and weird around you
- it would make you very uncomfortable
- one day she puts her journal away and doesn’t balance it properly on the wooden beam
- it falls sometime after she’s left the attic and you just so happen to stumble across it while searching for her
- you stare down in shock at the cruel things she’s been writing about someone who was only considered a friend to you
- you are that into the journal that you don’t hear someone coming up the ladder
- shauna sees what you’re doing and charges at you, snatching her journal from your grasp
- she shouts at you for reading her journal
- you honestly don’t really listen, too busy admiring how hot she is when she’s mad
- you eventually can’t hold yourself back and pull her in by her hips as close to you as possible
- you share a lust filled, rough kiss
- god you’ve wanted that for so long
van
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- she’s not really a crazily jealous person
- she’s a hell of a lot more chilled out than the rest of the girls
- but when you start ditching sneaking out of the cabin with her to sit and read under the covers with misty? oh boy things change
- she’s never felt like this before, she could feel it in her chest how furious it made her to see you with someone else
- she would make sooo many sarcastic jokes about you both
- “they’re probably off snogging misty somewhere”
- you’d overhear one of her jokes to the girls and actually get pretty upset
- at some point later that night you’d drag her outside to explain the way her comments made you feel to her
- she feels terrible
- it was never her intention to upset you
- she admits her jealously got the better of her
- you have a very heartfelt conversation about the way you’ve both been feeling recently
- obviously a love confession
- let’s just say you walk back into the cabin holding hands, everyone pitching in an “ooo la la” or a whislte
lottie
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- we all know my girl got some problems
- lottie is very protective of you
- always wanting you by her side
- so when she starts to notice that instead of attaching to her side, you’re attaching to nats, she goes a little crazy
- she’d honestly say some bullshit about how the wilderness wants you to stay with her at all times
- “lottie, you can’t be serious right now”
- “y/n i can’t ignore my visions”
- “we wouldn’t want to upset the wilderness now, would we?”
- at that you fold and agree to stop spending so much time with nat, even if you know it’s just lottie trying to act like it doesn’t bother her that you’ve been giving someone other than her attention
- nat is just in disbelief that her strategy to get you back worked
a/n: hope you liked this, this is my first ever time writing fanfic so don’t judge pls! lmk what you’d want next :)
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pixiesfz · 2 months
Text
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chookas k.c
plot: kerstins girlfriend is the main character in a local musical in Manchester and she goes to watch.
warnings: none, maybe just my inner theatre kid coming out a bit too much
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Kirsten remembers driving you to the audition “so what even is a musical?” She asked and you turned your head towards her “please tell me you know what a musical is?” You gasped and she shrugged
“Well it’s just a show performance where there’s singing and dancing” you explained and she nodded “so what’s heathers about than?” She asked inquisitively and you smiled “it’s about this girl who hates school and just wants to get out of there but everyone is a literal dickhead and if she befriends the heathers than-“ you stopped once you saw the triumphant smile on your girlfriends face.
“Are you trying to take my mind off of the audition?”
She turned her head to you “is it working?”
You huffed, twirling your thumbs together “I don’t want to stuff up the audition” you stressed “you’re an amazing singer” Kerstin said, shutting you down.
A cool breeze went by as Kirsten let her hand travel from on top of your thigh more in and closer up.
“Does this distract you?”
“It’s definitely taking my mind elsewhere”.
——————————————————————————
Then you had to tell her about one of your scenes after you got the role.
You both laid on the couch, some of her teammates had come over and congratulated you on your lead role, especially Mary as she said she enjoyed watching theatre back in Australia.
Before she had left she had hummed the tune to your characters biggest song and you it had finally dawned on you that Kerstin didn’t know what Veronica and JD do.
“so you know how I play Veronica?” You started as you scratched your girlfriends back whilst cuddling “yes and I’m so incredibly proud of you” she hummed, pecking you neck and smiling against you “well there’s a scene where Veronica and her love interest JD have to you know like” you trailed as you thought she would get the hint but Kerstins brows just furrowed.
“I have to makeout with a guy on stage” you deadpanned and Kerstin sat up straight.
“No”
“Kerstin!” You laughed “I’m gay, he’s most likely gay and it’s a stage kiss” you explained but the girl still did not get it.
“Think of it when your coach tells you to tackle another player on the field, it’s not personal”
“That means my foot hits theirs not my mouth!”
You sat down in defeat “I also might have to straddle him as I take clothes off” you muttered quickly but the Dutch had heard it.
“I thought theatre was fun, not a strip show for viewers to see my girlfriend”.
Her face was red as she thought about it more, she would never dare tell you that you couldn’t do the show, she knew how much you loved performing and this show had aligned with your both busy time lines.
“I can practice on you if you want?” You offered and Kerstin shook her head with a laugh.
——————————————————————————
It was closing night of the show now and Kerstin decided on bringing some of the girls from her Man City team, Mary jumping at the start when she offered tickets.
You smiled when you saw the ‘chooka’s’ message on your phone from the dutchie, she remembered every show even on the Sunday matinees when she should be getting ready for the game.
The show had been a hit so far and some Man City fans had even come to watch when they found out that their favourite players girlfriend was the lead.
Sure they might’ve came in hopes to see Kerstin but they still clapped and applauded you when you came out for your bow which you appreciated.
“Have you seen dead girl walking?” Mary asked as they all sat down “I don’t like to talk about that one” Kerstin quickly said as the curtains raised, revealing you in your opening costume.
“September 1st 1989, Dear diary…”
When the first act had finished and there was intermission you let yourself go on your phone to many notifications, some from the girls tagging you on their story and others following you from their tags.
Walking back on you took a deep breath “Is your girlfriend here?” The actor who played JD asked and you nodded “cool my boyfriends here too, we just started dating but I’m a little nervous for it”
You smiled as you patted him on the back for good luck.
Kerstin now owes you $10 dollars.
When bows were on you were slightly emotional to leave the cast behind but as long as Kerstin stayed at Manchester you promised the company you would do the next years musical which they were very happy to hear.
But your smile was contagious as did your last bow, cheers erupted and you saw a clump of girls in the middle all standing up which you could only assume where your friends.
You didn’t bother getting changed to see your friends , neither do half of the cast because you usually took a while to get ready.
But as you walked out and saw a tall Jill waving her hands around like crazy to get your attention you laughed.
You felt a tap on your arm and turned around to see an about 13 year old girl next to you “hi” you greeted and she smiled “I’m sorry but can I get a photo?, I loved you as Veronica, you sounded just like Barrett” she complimented and you smiled “of course” you beamed and bent down to get into her selfie.
When you said goodbye, you almost ran into your girlfriend’s arms who was waiting for you.
“You were amazing as always lieverd”
You smiled and pecked her cheek “thankyou for coming whenever you could”
“Where’s our hugs at?” A strong Aussie accent called out as Alanna Kennedy hooked her arms around the other man city girls who had decided to come and support you.
You broke out in a strong grin “Thankyou so much guys!” You cheered and gave them all individual hugs.
“Alright hands off her, I haven’t had her too myself for far too long”.
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whatwouldsylwrite · 11 months
Text
At least I got you in my head (1)
prologue
Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.
Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.
Notes: take a shot every time Abby experiences ~gay~
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
It all had started when Abby’s nice, perfect, amazing roommate decided to get married at the ripe age of 21 - which Abby didn’t understand at all, but she got invited to the wedding, so she kept her mouth shut about it. Except the marriage meant that her nice, perfect, amazing roommate would move out and go live her dream life with her sweetheart. And although the money wasn’t really a problem - Abby’s dad was a neurosurgeon, which meant he was loaded and Abby didn’t have to worry about anything financially - Abby really didn’t want to bother her dad and spend his money on the whole apartment when she could find a roommate. 
That was how Abby ended up with you as her new nice, perfect, amazing roommate. She didn't even care that the first thing you said to her was that you were a lesbian - which she didn't mind at all, 70 percent of her teammates were not straight, she was used to it, even though she was straight. But after Abby gave herself time to think about it, she understood why you said it right away - not all people were nice, and not all people were okay with living with someone who potentially could be attracted to them. 
Abby was absolutely cool with it.
What she actually cared about was if you left your dishes in the sink, and you didn’t. 
The first week living together was what Abby expected it to be: you both were getting used to your respective schedules, your habits and pet peeves, not talking much - Abby wasn’t sure if you even wanted to be her friend or you’d prefer to just stay as roommates who saw each other twice a day for five minutes. The most you spoke to her was to ask where something was or if it was okay to use something and where you could put all your things. 
Abby thought you were chill and confident with the way you carried yourself - it reminded her of some of her teammates, who were confident in a way girls were not expected to be confident. More like dominant? And they had nothing in common with you. Well, except for the gay thing. Abby wasn’t sure if there was a correlation. 
You both weren't at home a lot, but usually when Abby'd get from practice you'd be already at home and just out of the shower. Abby felt a little awkward when she saw you in a short towel and she tried not to look at you or anywhere dangerous. You didn't seem to notice how she only looked into your eyes when you walked from the bathroom to your room, water running down your neck and your thighs as you said your hellos. Abby didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her, because she showered with 20 girls on regular basis and it didn’t make sense that she felt the need to look away from you, but who had time to reflect on it? Not Abby.
Abby would hit the shower next and come back to the smell of food in the kitchen - you told her on the first night that you didn't mind sharing your food with her or even cooking for both of you, and Abby quickly agreed to your offer. 
That was a first ritual you two established: Abby'd come home, take a shower and then hang out with you in the kitchen while you were cooking dinner. Today you looked a little tired, and Abby got it - it was Friday and the whole week was hard for both of you with getting back into studying mode. 
“How are you on this god-awful day?” You asked Abby with a small smile while you fried something on the pan. 
“Happy it’s the end of the week.” Abby sighed and leaned back on her chair, relaxing. “Profs are already talking about the finals, so annoying. We just had one class, calm the fuck down.” 
“Yeah. It’s bad for you med students.” You said with no actual compassion, but with a smile. “Sorry, I’m going to remind you that this misery is your choice every time when you’ll be on the brink of death during finals.”
Abby laughed at that.
“Unfortunately for you I’m not the one to complain about my choices.” Abby shot back and you laughed. 
“That’s admirable.” You nodded your head in theatrical appreciation. “Then you can make fun of me during finals because I will be complaining about every little thing. In a funny way, don’t worry.”
“Thanks for clarification.” Abby chuckled. 
“Do you want to watch something after we eat?” You asked casually and Abby felt her heart beating faster - you wanted to be friends with her after all!
"Yeah, sure."
You smiled at Abby and turned the stove off, taking the plates from the cabinet to put your food on. Abby was cool. She was sweet, a little of a scaredy cat with you - you didn’t think anything of it, you just met, maybe she was just awkward with new people. Abby looked confident with her friends and when you saw her in the corridors of your university Abby looked downright intimidating, tall and strong, commanding. At home though? She seemed shy. You supposed she'd get more assertive when she'd get comfortable with you, but even now she seemed like a genuinely cool person. 
You were still dealing with how attractive Abby was, your eyes always lingered on her shoulders and arms - you had a thing for athletes, what can you say - but you tried to suppress it as best as possible. The fact that Abby was so sweet around you didn't really help either, but what we can’t act upon makes us better at repressing, so that was what you were doing for the past week. The best strategy you had was to remind yourself Abby was straight, and it was working, especially if she gave you compliments the way only straight girls did, with this high tone at the end - if Abby wasn’t that buff she’d probably ask where did you get something just to finish you. Thank god you had a very different taste in clothes.
You finished your dinner making a small talk, still getting used to each other's mannerisms and sense of humour, with yours being more dark. Abby was surprisingly good at keeping up with you and not stuttering in shock when you’d say something awful, and it made you smile every time she'd make a comeback that was just as good. Again, it wasn't helping. 
"What do you want to watch?"
"I like horrors, actually." You said as you sat on the other side of the couch, keeping the distance. 
"Yeah, we can watch some horror." Abby shrugged as she sat down and gave you the blanket. "More cosy that way."
You smiled and put it over your lap.
Not. Fucking. Helping. 
Abby watched you getting comfortable and something filled her chest with pride, like providing comfort for you was something important to her. Well, Ellie always said Abby was a mom friend, and she was. She liked taking care of people around her, and now that you were her roommate she'd take care of you too. 
"Do you like horrors too or do you want me to hold your hand during scary moments?" You asked with a smirk, and Abby huffed. 
"Are you trying to trick me into holding your hand?" Abby smirked too, pleased with your little surprised reaction. 
"I'm more of a cuddler." You winked and Abby laughed. She liked how easy it was to banter with you even though you knew each other only for a week. "No, really, are you okay with horror? I don't want you to have nightmares after."
"I'm okay, don't worry." Abby murmured and gave you the remote. "I'm not a big fan, so you choose."
You shrugged and went through the list of horror movies while Abby got comfortable on the other end of the couch, leaning on the arm rest. It felt a little awkward, to be that far away from you - Abby was so used to always being close with her girl friends, but to be fair, you weren’t even friends yet. The movie you picked wasn’t a slasher (“i want to be scared, not grossed out”), but more of a psychological horror that actually made Abby uneasy. And then this movie had a fucking jumpscare that made you both jump and curse out loud. Abby let out a small chuckle and you shared a look between you, silently bonding over a scary feeling. 
“You sure you don’t want to hold my hand?” You teased and Abby rolled her eyes at you, but her heart was still beating too fast from the sudden scare. 
“I’m not a little bitch.” Abby said and smiled when you laughed. 
“Okay, big bad Abby.” You murmured and focused on the movie.
Even though the movie was unsettling, your little bitchy comments were making Abby laugh way more than feeling scared. 
"Do you really enjoy getting scared or are you just choosing something to complain about?" Abby asked with a smile. 
"Horror movies are like straight sex, you know. In theory you get scared shitless, in practice you complain about men not knowing how to scare you." You shrugged and Abby snorted, feeling like this was too real. "Sorry if I'm being crude, I got too comfortable for a second there."
Abby noticed your look, like you were trying to read her reaction if you crossed a line, but Abby only laughed. 
"Do I look like someone who can't take a sex joke?" Abby teased as she stood up, stretching. 
"Should I assume you're tough as fuck because you kick ass?"
"Yeah, you should." Abby murmured and looked in your eyes. There was a second of silence while you just stared back at her, surprised, and Abby felt something warm in her stomach. "Tea?"
"Yeah." 
After that movie night things got so much easier for both of you, and after three weeks of living together you already fell into the routine like you lived for three years already. You became friends very fast, quickly moving from spending evenings in your rooms to spending evenings hanging out in the living room together. It was like you just clicked in all the right places, balancing each other out, and you couldn’t feel more relieved. You were getting used to Abby and your first intense attraction finally ebbed away: you were not going to chase after a straight girl - you were not, in fact, an idiot. And you weren’t going to question her sexuality or try to “turn her gay”, because who were you to tell her who she was? Abby told her she was straight, and that was it. You still enjoyed looking at her and flirting with her, and Abby was an amazing person so it wasn’t hard to like her. But otherwise? Abby was an amazing roommate and even better friend. 
The end of September came around so quickly you didn’t even notice, too busy with classes and tutoring and maintaining some kind of social life, because Cait really needed someone to drag her out from the fucking library and ventilate her big brain. You admired her study habits, but sometimes she’d forget to sleep, and you had to kick her ass and make her take care of herself. That was the price of being friends with the smartest woman on campus.
It was again a Friday night when you cooked and Abby sat at the table while you chatted about your days and plans, now so much more comfortable with each other. You were right, Abby just needed to get used to you in order to stop being so shy and you basked in her confident personality now. 
“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”
“I don’t kno-o-w.” Abby sighed like tomorrow's plans were torturing her. “Ellie wants to go out, but I don’t know if I’m in the mood.”
“Well, I plan to go out too, actually. Maybe we can join forces?” You asked curiously. “I feel like Cait would enjoy Ellie’s company if she is the nerd you’re saying she is.”
“She is an embarrassment.” Abby shrugged and you laughed. “I’m still shocked how she has any game at all.”
“Listen. Is she hot?”
“I guess?”
“Then there you go. She has game because she is hot.”
“That’s kinda shallow.”
“Do you really need to get to know someone better to hook up?” You scrunched your nose in doubt. 
“I mean, some people do.” 
“Then it’s not a hookup anymore, no? I mean, if I just want to get some stress relief do I really have mental space to learn about someone’s political views?”
“So you’ve fucked republicans.” Abby nodded and you laughed. “That’s fucked up, (y/n).”
“You see, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t know and I don’t want to know. Obviously you won’t miss the fact that they’re an asshole, so if it’s not the case, why not? Dating is a different story though.” 
“Yeah.” Abby nodded again. 
“So are we going out tomorrow?” 
“Well, when I’m attacked on two fronts I don’t feel like I have a choice.” Abby chuckled the way it made you hot, but yet again you pushed the stupid feeling down. 
Abby watched you cook as she was digesting what you’ve just discussed. It was the first time you acknowledged your sex life and Abby felt a little uneasy. Sex talk didn’t make her uncomfortable, and other people’s experience didn’t make her feel insecure, so she really couldn’t place why she felt just a little icky. Maybe your crudeness finally crossed her line? But Abby wasn’t sensitive to such topics, Ellie talked her ear off with her sex escapades, so why did she feel so strange? Her stomach growled and suddenly everything made sense: she was just in a low, sensitive mood because she was hungry and tired. 
And indeed her mood got better after she took the first fork filled with pasta and her stomach was now growling in happiness. 
“There’s a whole whale living in your stomach.” You smirked, but your stomach growled too and Abby snorted.
“Seems like you had one too.”
“Whale to whale communication.” You shrugged and Abby chuckled. “Have you ever listened to whale songs?”
“No. But I heard they’re supposed to help you relax.” 
“Well you’re listening to one now, so you tell me if you’re relaxed.”
“Oh I’m so relaxed I’d listen to the sound of not being hungry for hours.” Abby said and watched you roll your eyes fondly, because you looked so funny when you did it and Abby liked it. Abby’s phone buzzed with a notification and she unlocked it, but the clock caught her eye. “It’s almost 8, don’t you have a lesson?”
You looked up with saucers of the eyes and Abby laughed at how shocked and scared you got.
“Fuck!” You said with a mouth full of food as you jumped out of your chair while Abby laughed at you. “Fuck, how much time do I have?”
“Three minutes.”
“Shit. Fuck, can I ask you to sort this out?” You nodded at the food on the stove and at your plate. “Sorry.”
“You’re fine, don’t worry.” Abby said gently, trying to soothe you. “Go teach poor kids.”
You nodded and ran to your room to get yourself set up, and Abby finished her dinner while texting Ellie. 
from: els
soooo
are we going out tomorrow ?
to: els
you r so annoying 
but yes
(y/n) wants us to go together, she is going out with a friend too 
from: els
oooh
coooool
you mean I’ll meet the smart sexy lady you live with?
Abby rolled her eyes - she mentioned once that you were smart and she was learning some things from you and Ellie couldn’t leave her alone after that.
to: els
yeah 
but don’t be a dick to her
from: els
excuse me
I would never be a dick to a lady
to: els
you’re a dick to me all the time
from: els
who said you were a lady 
The audacity of this bitch, Abby thought as she sent Ellie a not so sweet sticker. She finished her dinner while bickering with Ellie and then tidied the kitchen. Your lessons were usually around an hour, so Abby didn’t need to hurry. She washed the dishes and put leftovers away. Abby thought it was so nice of you to cook for both of them, it was warming her heart - she didn’t like cooking, and having someone to take it off her was so amazing. God if you weren’t busy she’d hug you right now, she was so grateful.
But Abby settled for setting up her favourite part of Friday nights: beating your ass in Mortal Combat. What can she say, seeing you riled up but helpless against her, cursing her but unable to win anyway - fuck, Abby loved it. Now she'd just need to wait for you.
754 notes · View notes
avoxrising · 4 months
Text
The Feral One • Ch 16
Finnick x Y/N
Series Masterlist Link
As a thank you for 400 followers here’s a bonus short chapter for tonight! Enjoy :)
Content Warnings - None
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The doctors asked you every question imaginable about the treatment you received in the capital; what the medicine tasted like, what it smelled like, how long did it make you sleep for. You did your best to answer their questions but not being a medical professional yourself you honestly didn’t know most of the answers.
“Can we do a brain scan?” Johanna asks. “There has to be something to explain all this!”
“Miss Mason,” the doctor states. “We do not have the technology for that but based on all of our available tests we have performed and the discussion of the treatment I think she’s fine.”
Suddenly there is a knock on your door and Plutarch enters.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but Miss Y/L/N is needed in command,” he states. The doctor allows you to leave, much to Johanna’s protests, and you walk with the older man towards command.
“Don’t stress it’s just wedding planning,” he explains as you walk the long halls of District 13. “The whole district is very excited!”
You are met with the faces of Coin, Effie, Katniss’ prep team, and Katniss herself when you enter command. The prep team seems scared of you but you give them a gentle smile and take a seat next to Katniss. You can’t help but notice the way she subtly shifts away from you.
“Well my dear I am so excited for you,” Effie chimes. You give her a quick thanks and she continues to blabber on about ideas for the wedding. She talks about everything from which flowers to decorate the tables with to how the guests should be seated.
“Oh and I almost forgot!” she chimes. “Katniss has agreed to take you to twelve to pick out a dress for your wedding! She has some of Cinna’s designs there and we could make alterations so they fit!”
“Are you sure?” you ask Katniss, surprised she agreed.
“Of course,” she responds. “We can go this afternoon if you would like.”
You return that evening to your hospital room, having picked out your dress. It’s a sage green gown that flows eloquently from your shoulders like water. It’s simple, which is exactly what you wanted. The prep team brought back some of Peeta’s suits to fit Finnick with as well.
“Hey Y/N/N,” Finnick grins as he enters your room. “What did you get up to today?”
“Not much,” you shrug. “Johanna made the doctors run a bunch of tests on me cause she thinks I’m crazy, then I sat in on a two hour long wedding planning meeting, then Katniss took me to 12 to pick out a dress.”
“Sounds busy,” Finnick sighs, sitting down on your bed next to you.
“Finn?” you ask, catching his attention. “What is it that I’m not remembering? Everyone seems to know but me.”
He turns to you with worry covering his face.
“I don’t want you to remember,” he states. “It was something very bad that happened to you. It’s for the best that you don’t remember.”
“If it happened to me then I should know!” you exclaim, frustrated that nobody would tell you.
You would get your answers, you would just have to find them elsewhere.
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Repeat end quote bc I didn’t have one I liked for this chapter lolz
Taglist:
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yourfatherlucifer · 4 months
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Bounce, Bounce (JWY)
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san's manager!wooyoung x male!reader
summary: deciding to finally check out the underground boxing ring, you find that one man cannot keep his eyes off of you.
warnings: MDNI, sub!wooyoung, top/switch!reader, mxm, mentions of male breeding (its not possible), creampie, whining, crying, slightly bratty woo, getting caught by san, locker room sex, short fic (sorry), big cock reader.
genre: smut
AU: Bouncy
WC: 994
Rated: R
tags: @mjyungi @k-hotchoisan @choism @piratequeen-queenofgames @shycreationdreamland @aygotnobitches @hecateslittlewitchling @sanspuppet @yunho-mp3
nets: @cromernet @cultofdionysusnet @kflixnet @pirateeznet @k-labels @wonderlandnet
I finally got around to it omg, I hope people like this. Short but sweet. PLEASE REBLOG
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"I'm telling you, M/N, it's gonna be fun." Your friend had slapped your back in enthusiasm.
"It's illegal, is it what it is." You muttered.
"There's gonna be hot guys? Well, at least sometimes there is. Look, I know, it isn't ideal, not with those damn drones everywhere. Its life now. Dystopian world or not, we gotta make our life interesting somehow." Your friend has crossed her arms.
You cringed at her, making a face of disgust, "Since when did you get all philosophical? It's gross. Just stop."
As you walked away from her, she threw her head back in a silent laugh, not wanting anyone to hear her joy.
When she gathered her bearings and ran back up to your side, "When is the last time you got your dick wet? You've been so grumpy. Do I need to help you find a nice girl?"
"Oh my god, F/N, I'm gay! How many times do I have to remind you. I am not into girls."
"Right, forgot. Sorry. Anyway, back to my question-"
"Why is it any of your concern?"
"Because, I miss seeing you happy, dude."
You shoved her arms off your waist in a playful manner, "Alright, alright, I'll go, stop hugging me."
"Ain't my fault you have such a nice waist, Y/N." She giggled.
F/N grabbed your hand, "Come on, lets just go there already, I don't wanna miss the fight, I hear Choi San is fighting today!" her heart eyes didn't go unnoticed, "And he's the hottest fighter!"
"We have two different tastes, I doubt it."
-
The crowd soon began to fill up, men and women alike surrounded both you and your friend to watch the fight. F/N was right, the fighter Choi San was definitely hot, but you didn't have eyes on him. You weren't interested. With his looks you were sure he's a ladies man, which meant he wouldn't want you. You have a dick after all.
The fight was boring, seeing two grown men punch each other was no fun at all to you. You rolled your eyes, ready to leave until you noticed a man staring at you, his doe-like eyes trained on you. He was beautiful.
That’s it. You changed your mind, you’re staying. F/N paid no mind to you, she was too engrossed in the fight. She didn’t even notice when you left her side to go stand by the beautiful stranger.
“Hi.” You tapped his shoulder, “I’m Y/N.”
He stared you up and down, his eyes staring at the bulge in your pants, he was wondering if you were big. Maybe you could get in his tight hole. He wanted you inside of him bad.
He turned around to face you, a smile on his face, “Wooyoung. I’m Wooyoung.”
Even his name was cute.
That’s when he grinned, “Say..wanna come with me to the back?”
You nod and take his hand. He leads you to a room of lockers and showers, as you guessed, it’s the locker room.
Wooyoung shut the door and pushed you against some lockers, his lips attacking your neck. You bared your neck to him, hands gripping his waist, his slim and tiny waist.
“Wooyoung.” you growled, picking him up and wrapping his legs around your own waist, spinning the both of you around and pushing his back into the lockers this time. Your cock ground into his through your loose pants.
Wooyoung let out whiny moans, his arms scrambling to your back, pulling at your shirt. He could feel exactly just how big you were. You’re so much bigger than him, he couldn’t wait to feel your cock against his walls.
“Please~” he cried out, hips bucking into yours.
You grinned, removing one of your hands from him to pull your cock out of your pants and yanking off his trousers. You pushed him back against the lockers once more and slammed your cock into his tight and puckered hole.
His eyes blown out as he threw his head back in pure pleasure.
When he recovered, he stared you in the eyes with a smirk, “Come on, Y/N, fuck me like you mean it.”
You growled, “I’m gonna fuck the brat out of you.” You pulled your large cock out of him just to push it back in roughly.
The lockers rocked back and forth from your rough rhythm while Wooyoung’s moans filled the room. When you felt it wasn’t safe to keep fucking against the lockers, you moved the two of you two a bench, without pulling out of him.
The second his back touched the cold metal bench, he cried out, “Please, harder!”
Your lips attached to his perked nipple and thrusted your cock into his hole in a circle motion, slipping your hand between the two of you to pump his own neglected cock.
His tears flooded down his face as you twisted your hand around his weeping dick. You kissed away the tears then planted your lips to his neck, latching onto the skin, leaving marks for people to find. To show how dirty of a man he is.
When his lips found yours, the two of you made out in a feverish haze, “I’m gonna fill you so full of my cum, fucking hell wish I could breed you.” You whispered into his ear.
Wooyoung cried out once again, “please! I’m gonna cum!”
You snapped your hips against his, “Yeah, me too, pretty boy. Come on, take it all. Take all of my seed like the good boy you are.”
His arms flew to your neck, as his cum spurt over the both of you, making a mess. While your cum filled his walls like a wave of the ocean.
You laid on top of him, placing a kiss to the top of his head, “You should call me, we need to do this again.”
He giggled, “Total-“
“Damn, Woo, didn’t know you liked to take it up the ass..”
“San!”
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bengiyo · 3 months
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BL 2023 Review
I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.
I Watched Too Much Again
Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).
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One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.
I Wrote a Lot This Year
I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,
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However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.
Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.
We Started a Podcast!
After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.
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From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.
The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.
Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance
Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.
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Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.
Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!
I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.
It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.
Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year
Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:
609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.
A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.
Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?
Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.
Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.
Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?
Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?
Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?
I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.
Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.
Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.
My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).
My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.
Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.
Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.
Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.
Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.
I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.
Korea Put in the Work This Year
I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.
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It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.
Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me
I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.
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As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.
Japan was Busy This Year
I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.
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I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.
Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.
Where Were All the Uncles This Year?
Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?
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Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!
We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.
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Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.
Gay Thoughts
I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.
First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.
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The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.
The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.
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I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.
Final Thoughts
I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.
Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.
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Note
🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈
(This is a resubmission. I sent my original ask I think back in November and I haven’t been able to find it so I reread your FAQ real quick and deduced Tumblr must have eaten it or I won’t find it)(sorry if it has been posted and I missed it)
AITA for kind of leading on my friend who is now my boyfriend back when he thought he was my girlfriend?
(also this isn’t a fandom at all if it got mistaken for that, this is my life somehow)
I dont remember the fake names I used so let’s go with TJ for technically partner, and El and Leo for my sister and her boyfriend.
The long and short of it is, I’m a gay man. Always have been and probably always will be. TJ, Leo and El and I are all pretty good friends even before this.
What basically happened was I had bought tickets to see a movie with a guy I liked, who cancelled on me last minute. It was a movie TJ (at the time identifying as female and had not realized he was a trans man) really wanted to see, so I brought TJ. On what I assumed was a friendship thing.
That’s kind of where it started. From there, there were several events that this guy I liked kept cancelling on me, and as total coincidence I swear, were things TJ liked doing. Movie, zoo, Italian restaurant one time, etc.
(Honestly it got to a point that it was obvious the other guy and I weren’t going to work, so there weren’t any hard feelings there)
This went on for a few months before Leo mentioned how cute we were together. I wasn’t sure what he meant and he and El admitted that they thought that TJ and I were dating, that I was actually bi and had decided to go out with TJ. (Who just for the record is Leo’s brother so he saw how happy TJ apparently was lately)
Anyway all that freaked me out and I didn’t realize that TJ and the others thought I liked TJ like that. I mean at the time I thought we were just really good friends, and it’s not like there’s anything about TJ at the time that would have made him a bad girlfriend, just that I wasn’t interested in girls.
Until TJ came out to me as trans. I hadn’t known whether to tell TJ the truth or not, and then when he came out to me I realized how much he trusted me and I couldn’t. Hurt him like that.
But now he’s like, literally the hottest guy ever and I’m honestly really glad I stuck it out because now we’re definitely dating and I’m the luckiest guy ever.
But I still wonder if I was the asshole for never being honest, and if I still am for still not telling him the truth. Like, if I WAS honest, maybe I wouldn’t be dating him now. Idk.
Am I an asshole?
(ps: @throw-it-out-boys is my throwaway sideblog for this, so I’m tagging it so I’ll get a ping if this one is posted. In theory)
What are these acronyms?
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