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#i’m sorry that maybe some people take that and repeat the cycle - but everything about that told me that i HAVE to be BETTER -
forcedjuggalofication · 11 months
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narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real n
#vent/rant in tags#some people are JUST ABUSIVE.#i’m not gonna lie - it hurts so fucking bad to have done so much work all by myself - untreated - unmedicated - no resources -#just guesswork - just to have it not fucking matter because people discard me the SECOND they learn about my#TRAUMA BASED fucking disorder.#it’s not my fault. i was a CHILD. i was a CHILD who should have been cared for - not neglected - isolated - and abused.#i’m sorry that maybe some people take that and repeat the cycle - but everything about that told me that i HAVE to be BETTER -#i CANNOT repeat those same fucking behaviours that wounded me so deeply and ruined my fucking life#IT IS NOT MY FAULT.#and you know fucking what? my biggest abuser had NPD - and i rejected my diagnosis for YEARS. because of terms like narc abuse.#and because people demonized him on the basis of being a narcissist instead of on the basis of being an abuser.#rejecting my diagnosis only hurt me more - and hurt the people around me more.#i am so tired. i’m just a person. i am just a human being. i try so hard - i don’t even want recognition or praise for trying -#i’m just tired of being thrown away - i’m tired of being treated like my abuser just because of my diagnosis#he quite literally tried to murder me - believe me if you want - i don’t care - i was a child and he tried to murder me and i still think#that there is no excuse to demonize NPD just because he has it.#fuck all the way off - go die - i don’t care#none of my friends would ever know i have NPD because i’m not a fucking stereotype - i’m not an evil monster - i don’t want to hurt anyone-#the way i’ve been hurt - i NEED to be the best - i NEED to be as good as possible#stop demonizing my disorder - please - i am begging#screaming into the void#NPD#narc abuse#narcissistic abuse
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psshaw · 1 year
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Feelings-first therapy language has been interesting to navigate because I’m a very “actions are more important than words” type of lady. Growing up midwestern, I learned early that “sorry” means “don’t be mad at me”, and “we’re so happy to see you!” has no bearing on whether a person gets talked shit about later. “Nice” was never a trait I admired. In my experience, “nice” people were either naive or liars. “Nice” people cared what you were supposed to say, not what was true.
I could not figure out the motive for living like this, because it looked like torture. Now I realize the political benefits, but grokking it feels like reverse-character development.
Meanwhile, I can argue with you 100 times a year and feel nothing, because I respect you more for holding your own and being honest than I would if you agreed with everything I said. When I’m looking to knock someone off-guard, honest observations change the tone fast. I start asking questions— really, you agree with everything I said? That’s all you have to add? And sometimes people really do start to wonder what programmed them to do that.
I still hold a lot of hurt from an old friend who hated to argue. They always asked my opinion before giving theirs. Looking back, they were used to getting what they wanted by being “nice”, and got enraged and confused when it didn’t work. They often did objectively cruel things, just a step removed from where the victim could see it. They kept no-one’s secrets, “played both sides”, and took zero responsibility for the part they played in ratcheting the tension. Whenever things went south, they washed their hands of it and told the story as if they weren’t there. But the next time around, they still couldn’t resist getting involved. Because when two people won’t resolve things directly, the agony aunt gains two friends.
That preoccupation with perception— agreeing with two people at once, only taking responsibility for what they’ve been caught doing, using “sorry” like a magic word but repeating the cycle anyway— feels familiar in the obfuscations of therapy speak. I think a lot of people are attracted to “toxic” and “gaslighting” and “red flag” because it facilitates a flattening of a situation— a good guy and a bad guy, maybe. I’m often surprised by how little some people examine their own actions for anything other than “does this look good according to the current zeitgeist?”
The way I handled my Catholic guilt was by noticing I wasn’t in this alone. My whole congregation supposedly had Original Sin, and they sure as hell weren’t living more morally than me at 9 years old. Plus, what loving sky-daddy would put us on a world with so many temptations and just quietly scratch off our Heaven points for 80 years? So I deduced there was more wiggle room than we were interpreting the Bible to have— otherwise, Hell is full of preteens.
All of this is to say that “bad person” has never been a scary label to me, because I was raised to believe we were all bad. What mattered is that we were trying to be better. This is what made social justice make sense to me, too, though now I understand why other people see “don’t do that, it’s racist” as some kind of indelible attack on their character. (It’s cos they were raised wrong.) To me, the point isn’t to come out of the gate being perfectly liked and agreeable. It’s to show everyone how hard you can try.
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latenightsleeper · 2 years
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Fellow Darlin’-Chrissy Truther here, you can’t NOT tell me what this storyline for them is! I have one of my own as well, but I’m always intrigued by other ways of viewing the same story!!! (Sorry to bother, but I’m so psyched that someone else agrees about this!)
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A WILLING SACRIFICE—(*grabs you*) okay so, I’m so happy you asked!!!!! I have a lot to say about them so I’m very excited to tell you
Okay some basic info about my version of Tank is that their humanborn, hence why they have a harder time connecting with the pack. They don’t understand the magical world and by proxy, the Shaw pack as well someone who wasn’t a humanborn would. I mean, I think we all known how biased the empowered world is to humanborns (cough cough DAMN cough DUMP cough cough) their parents were a bit…late to understand their needs as a shifter and even later to fully grasp what was happening, let alone accept it. The scare on their cheek was a testament to that
So, here’s teen Tank, with a very messed up attitude about themselves and feeling isolated within minutes of being introduced to the pack. Once again, the pack kids already have an understanding of the world around them so they do things very much differently than Tank is used to. Things Tank has no idea how to do or even understand, it’s been said before Tank wasn’t close to David or Asher growing up but even then. I’d imagine someone would try and help tank get used to and understand their new life. It didn’t alway work and the questions they asked were hard to answer or know why they asked.
Enter Christian, born into an empowered family and taught everything Tank wanted/needed to know since he was a baby, just as much as a loner as Tank was since he wasn’t a legacy kid like David or Asher as well as having a decently bad attitude… he was a huge dick to Tank when they first came, like full on asshole the way teens are when a new kid who doesn’t understand what you think is basic knowledge shows up. Chris was relentless in his teasing and childish jokes, always laughing at their innocent questions and chiding their attempts.
Tank didn’t take it laying down tho.
They fought, a lot. Verbally, physically, pranks and tricks. They were at each other’s throats from the second they woke up, to the second they went to bed. Rinse, cycle, repeat. Like clock work, some of the older pack members had some bets they’d kill each other before they got along.
Surprisingly they do start to get along, but not in the way people thought they would. My personal HC is that Christians parents weren’t the…best, this feeling coming from Chris sisters specifically using “ if you didn’t help raise him “ when the Asher and Milo tease him about Amanda and call him Chrissy(which seems to be a family nickname?). Maybe I’m reading into it a bit much, maybe I’m not. I’ll keep on rolling with it till Erik proves me wrong (not likely tho with how much he writes parental problems with his characters)
Both Christian and Tank have that in common and big places gossip, people talk and the walls have eyes. They started to see each other as something like kindred spirits, bad attitudes and shitty parents with more than a few people willing to let them dig a big hole for them to throw themselves down. They still fought and shit but it was more like a game to them both, some way to keep active and to have fun. Bloody noises and complaints from local law enforcement aside.
Things changed tho, Tank and Chrissy were still close but it was harder and harder for Tank to take the isolation from the pack. They had Christian, they’d always have him but he started to find his place, hell he even started to see Amanda. Tank? Nothing, just..an outsider.
Enter Quinn, I don’t really think I need to explain what happened with him.
Being with Quinn just drives a bigger wedge between Tank and the pack, even Christian. They start making excuses and excuses, they still showed up when he needed or asked them but there was something wrong. Just something off, maybe it was this new guy Tank was seeing, maybe it was how Tank was hiding something from him. But Tank never showed so he never asked.
Then he gets a call that Tanks in the healers, something about a rough Vamp and them being hurt. He was the only one they could think of for Tank, their parents are gone and aren’t even on the list for emergency contacts.
He leaves hours later with a promise to catch up next time when their more healed and rested, not knowing right after he left. That be the last he’d see of Tank.
Tank lies as we know to David about heading to their parents to heal and they lie to Christian about catching up. Both for the same reason, to keep the pack and most importantly-to keep Christian safe. Tank just hopes the hurt from them leaving will keep him off their trail.
Christian doesn’t know their gone till they don’t show at the pack meeting and David tells everybody the news. Christian immediately knows something is wrong and is deeply hurt, but he knows tank better than anyone else. He didn’t look for them bc he knew they didn’t want to be found-not now at least and he wanted to trust Tank at least told the truth about them just leaving to heal.
And then a month passes, then another and then it becomes close to a year. (Ten months to be precise, I counted )
Contact with Tank is minimal before drying out on everyone but David and that’s just checking in to see if their alive.
Then David finds out a full year later (once again did the math, tank was actually hunting Quinn outside of Daliha for about 10 months and then showed up, it took David a full 3-4 months after that to realize something was up) and gives Tank a rightful talking too and tells them to show up to the next meeting. so who would show up to the next pack meeting?
Tanker and they look very different than anyone saw them, especially Christian. More scars than he remembers and a haunted, sad, angry look in those eyes.
This is just general lore, don’t have all the kinks worked out but man lemme tell you! There is a lot to Tanker and Chrissy’s relationship, lots of emotions and stuff
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Tw invalidation/being called a liar, people witnesses the abuse but telling a diff story and idk what I’m looking for really
How could my abuser have done things that caused me rage and grief and there were multiple witnesses but I’m so confused why they take my abusers side and tell me im both faking being the victim and making things up. How can I tell it I’m making things up? How can I tell if im abused or not? Victim or abuser? I think hard about this often and question maybe I genuinely am faking being the victim and im twisting events. Multiple witnesses I thought were seeing what I was seeing but they said they didn’t see the things I remember telling my abuser bout that I think they were doing at the time… and they even went as far as saying I was the abuser. I don’t know what to say or think. How can I tell if I’m making things up or manipulating myself into believing I’m the victim? How can I tell what behaviors are valid reactions to a person and what behaviors are abusive or instigating? With little memory to go off of idk if I just dreamt certain things as a kid and remembered it or idk what’s going on. Idk how to sort through everything.
I did find out though that certain witnesses were creating lies and I managed to actually find this out and see the curated lies/stories they made up to side with my abuser so that’s about 2 witnesses canceled and out. I won’t go through the whole details but that’s it. These two people are child abusers and definitely not trustworthy esp after being caught curating lies…
But the rest of the witnesses seem like normal people and haven’t proven themselves to be a liar or an honest person so I wouldn’t know why they took my abusers side. I’m saying abuser but idek if that’s who she is.
How can I actually tell?
It got to points where my abuser would do something she knew I hated and she knew was crossing a line I drew for myself bc I’d really make myself clear, and I’d say something cruel to her out of pure anger in the moment and every adult around me would go “HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CANT SAY CRUEL THINGS JUST STOP BULLYING, APOLOGIZE NOW” which made me feel like I was constantly given the responsibility of making all this stop but every time id try to stop the issues b/t me and her I seemed to only make things worse, I’d say something I’d regret and again, the cycle repeats of me having to apologize which I did, and then be responsible for this and stop what’s happening which I thought I tried but I had no control to stop it bc I can’t control my abusers actions but I can control mine, but I had a terrible time controlling mine which I apologized for every time but now I feel like I’m just using a victim complex…. I feel I tried to stop things but I feel it was so difficult part of the responsibility seemed out of my hands.
-🥩
Hi 🥩,
I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. While I don't fully know what happened, it sounds like your abuser purposefully gets a rise out of you, and then witnesses often miss the context and antagonize you solely off your reaction. This is known as reactive abuse. It's also possible that, for the people who seem to think that you were the abuser even if they witnessed it themselves, they may have normalized abuse in their own lives or perhaps they're abusers themselves, which could be why they fail to recognize the situation for what it truly is.
I don't think you necessarily have to apologize for your reactions because 1) you are reserved some grace because you're doing what you feel is necessary to survive in the moment even if it doesn't completely make sense and 2) your abuser is no less to blame, no matter what you do in response. But I also think that if you feel apology is appropriate then I think it's possible to balance taking accountability for your own behavior while simultaneously condemning your abuser's. Because when you get in the habit of apologizing for your reactions to the abuse, it can be easy for that to grow into enabling the abuse to continue as well (which is often the goal of people who deliberately take your reactions out of context).
When you're exposed to gaslighting, victim-blaming, DARVO, or antagonization, it can be easy to question yourself, your narrative, and whether or not you were the abuser. Determining whether or not you're making things up or whether behaviors are valid reactions to a person or abusive and instigating is generally on a case-by-case basis. But it's worth taking into consideration your open-mindedness, good faith, and willingness to improve, as well as the substance and productivity of the criticisms leveled against you. In other words, it sounds like you're open to learning from past behavior (even if you didn't actually do anything wrong), and it also sounds like those criticizing you are more so putting you down and silencing you rather than wanting you to grow or defend yourself.
If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you navigate and process this situation and its complex dynamics, and guide you along your healing journey. I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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unreleasedwrites · 5 months
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𖤐 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𖤐
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✃ 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑜
⌗ 𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 ⌗ 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗍𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 !̆̈
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⚠︎︎ 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐌𝐞
I really don’t write much at all. As seen with my posting habits, I’ll suddenly post 1-2 new works then I’ll disappear for a few months and upload again, and the cycle repeats— Which is why I am so sorry if your request or even questions takes various weeks or months to be done / answered.
It’s due to the fact that I am a student, so I tend to be very busy with my studies.
I do see everything that makes its way into my inbox, it’s just that I have so many drafts due to various ongoing ideas and requests. With that being said, I’m so sorry if you see that I uploaded a new post while the request / question you sent in is still in my drafts / inbox.
It was most likely because what I posted was in my drafts first so it already had progress.
I don’t proofread the entirety of my finished works so along the lines, there may be grammatical / spelling errors that I overlooked, so I apologize in advance.
You can ask for pt.2’s or more of some of my fics if you’d like!!
sorry for the formalities of tone and text
theres probably spoilers in my account so beware
I will no longer be updating this, nor will i keep it as my pinned post but I linked it to my new, shorter version of this post just in case!! ( - 07/05/24 )
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✔︎ 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 🍉
Whether you credit me or not, please don’t copy or try to claim any of my works, with or without permission.
I appreciate all the feedback under my works. I'm sorry if I don't reply to them, but I do see them and I am so happy to see that there are people who actually seem to like my writing. I really appreciate all of you, thank you so much!! ❤︎︎
And please do read the cw (content warnings) before you proceed and feel free to comment / send a message in my inbox if you think that there is a particular warning that needs to be placed in a certain post of mine !! I will happily put it and I do apologize for not placing it in the first place.
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❣︎ 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
❥ I only write for lookism characters
I don’t write for any of the girls, except maybe Mary Kim?
Other than that, I write for almost any character. No matter the generation, occupation or situation.
My fav characters are the Baek brothers, Yoojin & Yooseong, Gun & Goo, Seongji & Jaegyon, Jihan, James, Jiho, & Gitae.
❥ I only write the reader as female
I write the reader as a female because I am one, so it’s much easier for me to write and visualize.
But feel free to just alter the pronouns used (she/her) and the descriptions of the reader in your head.
❥ I write fluff, smut, and suggestive fics / drabbles
Check out my ⌗masterlist for the different series’ and types of fics that I write. I can write angst but its bad 😭
➪ Please also be very specific with your request, as there are many possible scenarios and I’d like to be sure of what you are expecting.
➪ Please also have some consideration with the fact that I am a stressed student so I am very busy and can’t just be writing 24/7.
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✰ 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
I do apologize for not replying to comments.. I’m very shy and I wish I could like comments instead to acknowledge and show my gratitude without having to embarrass myself with messed up words… But I will try to start replying now but I can’t guarantee that i’m not gonna sound awkward 💔💔
I would also like to say that the age of the character in a fic you’re reading would depend on what yours is!! So let’s say you’re 22, then you could consider that character as 22 as well. But if you don’t care about that, then I would like to justify that all of the characters I write for are aged up to atleast 18 (that is if there isn’t any nsfw / smut)
Now that I’ve started writing smut / nsfw, I would like to justify (because I wasn’t able to put this in the actual posts 😓) that all of the characters featured in those posts, including the reader is aged up to atleast 21 and are fully consenting to whatever is happening in the given scenario of my posts.
If there are hints or actual parts that include anything such as implied drugging, kidnapping, or whatever was in the content warnings of my gitae fics, then i would just like to say that I DO NOT condone any of that in real life and i would like to remind that everything I write is COMPLETELY FICTIONAL and for entertainment or enjoyment purposes of those that wish to proceed with reading my works.
I would also like to apologize in advance if I say something that may come off as offensive, I do not mean anything by it and I simply didn’t know so I am very sorry and I will try to do better
This entire “more important information” was pretty rushed.. Very sorry if it’s unclear or it sounds a bit informal 😓
If you do not like one or any of my works, then simply block me or just ignore my whole page. AND i ask that you please do not report me!!
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— 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 💝
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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years
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Birthday Bummer - Bakugou Katsuki
Bakugou x f!reader
Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Fluff, cheating accusations, jealous Katsuki
Summary: You love your boyfriend! You do! And he loves you! However he’s always busy. You understand being a pro can be very occupational but when he does have days off, he spends them either training to doing some paper work. Doing everything he can to get ahead, and you of course support him! But sometimes you miss him and sometimes he misses..a lot
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
“Oh? You’re not gonna be able to make it again?” You said with sadness laced in your voice. The phone in your hand felt like led in your shaking palm as you spoke to your boyfriend.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry Teddy Bear. Endeavor won’t let me off especially with all the damaged I caused during our last battle.” He explained. Your lip began to quiver but you bit it to hide your expression.
“It’s fine, Suki. Really. I understand, you’re a hero and you’re busy. Don’t worry about it, Love.” You said with a reassuring tone.
“Are you already at the restaurant?” He asked with worry.
“No, I didn’t even leave the house yet. I was still getting ready. I was actually gonna text you to tell you I was gonna be a little late, but..yeah.” You said. Bakugou sighed in sadness.
“I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you baby.” Another empty promise. You licked your lips at his words and gave a disappointed sigh.
“Ok.” You replied.
“I love you.” He sweetly said.
“I love you too.”
“Bye Y/N!” Kirishima said from the other side of the phone.
“Shitty Hair said ‘bye’” Bakugou said, relaying the message.
“Heh, bye Kiri.” You said and hung up. You placed the phone down on the table and bounced your leg up and down as you let your head rest in your hand.
Of course. Like usual, Katsuki blew you off again for work. It’s not like it’s his fault but he never seems to turn his agency down. You understand that being a hero requires diligent work and good ethics but your boyfriend would always drop everything for work whenever, wherever. That includes you.
“Excuse me, Miss?”
You looked up to the man who was dressed in a clean suit with a white apron. “Would you like anything else?”
“Ha, I mean..unless you can get my date here, then just the check.” You joked. The kind waiter placed an understanding hand on your shoulder before placing down the bill. You sipped from your champagne glass and payed before grabbing your purse and walking out of the fancy restaurant. Maybe if your boyfriend were here, you would be getting in his car with him to go home, but instead, you were driving your own and sitting by yourself. You began your drive home to the empty house.
The usual. Katsuki blows you off for work, tries to make it up to you with something special, fails to show up for that, repeat cycle. This time..it was different though. It was supposed to be your special day. It was your birthday.
You hoped he would’ve remembered. I mean, it’s not like this was your first birthday with him. This was going to be your 4th birthday with him! And he forgot! And you would’ve let it slide had it not been for the fact that he had been blowing you off more and more for work. You understand he’s a pro and you get that with the sudden splurge of crime in Musutafu he’s been way busier but he didn’t even spare you a little “Happy Birthday, babe.”
As you pulled into the driveway, you looked at the doorway and saw an edible arrangement! Your eyes lit up as you ran out the car and went to examine the gift. Unfortunately, as you read the gift card, you saw it was from Mina and not Katsuki. You smiled nonetheless, appreciative of the gift.
You brought it in and enjoyed the sweet treats in the basket with a sad smile. You left it on the dining table along with all the other gifts. A beautiful set of rings, a new dress, a heart holding teddy bear, and a bouquet of roses from your father. You were always a daddy’s girl. You and your father were extremely close and only grew closer once you lost your mother. Growing up an only child, your father was your best friend. You loved him dearly. As you examined the flowers, you couldn’t help but notice his note that put a smile on your face.
Hello my Sweet Angel, Y/N. It’s been another year of you being in my life and I couldn’t be happier to have been blessed with you. I hope these roses will suffice but I know they pale in comparison to your beauty. I hope you enjoy this marvelous day and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to spend it with you as we usually do. I love you Y/N
-Daddy
You called your father to thank him for the roses and to have a conversation with him. You hadn’t talked to many people today despite it being your birthday so talking to one of your favorite people should bring your mood to a better place.
“Alright, I should get going now. It’s pretty late and you need your rest.” You reminded your father.
“Of course dear. Have a nice night, goodnight sweetie.”
“Okay, goodnight Daddy!” You chirped.
“Goodnight!”
You enjoyed speaking to your father and you definitely did feel your mood brighten until you noticed a text from Katsuki. You foolishly hoped it was a last minute birthday mention but of course you were wrong.
‘I’ll be home soon, princess. Mind getting dinner started? Thanks <3’
You could only sigh and feel your mood drop once more.
Afterwards, you chose to ignore his request and went to your shared bedroom. You stripped out of your gorgeous outfit and took off your makeup that you spent hours on. You hoped Katsuki would’ve gotten to see you all dolled up for your special day but things happen..you guess. You ran a hot bath for yourself and filled it with all types of scented bath salts, soaps, and flower petals. You lit a few candles and set them up all pretty around the tub and hopped in, relishing in the warmth that wrapped around you. All you wanted to do was forget about today.
Bakugou walked through the door exhausted from the day’s work. He took a shower at the agency and was all set and dressed in a comfy tee and a pair of sweats. He dropped his case at the door and walked in, expecting dinner for him on the island, but instead was met with a bunch of gifts. He stood shocked but chuckled to himself at the thought of you doing such a nice thing for him out of nowhere. He guesses that this was better than dinner.
He walked to the gifts and examined them. An edible arrangement that seemed to be eaten? Rings that were obviously for a woman? A dress? Okay, by now he realized that these gift must’ve been for you but for what? He continued to look through the gifts and noticed the lovey dovey Teddy Bear and bouquet. He grew a little irked at the gifts that one would deem romantic but what really sent it was the note. The words made his blood boil and when he saw the note was signed “Daddy,” he exploded.
“Is she…” as Bakugou thought about it, he came to the conclusion that you must’ve been cheating on him with some sugar daddy. The gifts, the dress, the rings, the note?! It gave him all the signs. In a raging fit, he took the basket and slammed it to the floor. He ripped apart the Teddy Bear, tossed the rings, singed the dress, and stomped on the beautiful roses. Finally, he made his way to search for you as he spoke to himself. “Oh that cheating fucking bitch.”
You were all set with your bath and had already dried your hair. You were dressed in your favorite silk set as you laid on the king sized bed. Suddenly, the door busted open and your boyfriend walked through the door, and he was pissed.
“Katsuki! The door!” You exclaimed before Bakugou made his way over to you.
“Am I not enough for you?!” He screamed. You looked at him in silent confusion and your pause urged him to continue. “What?! Do I not make enough money to your liking?! Well sorry if I can’t fucking spoil you! I just thought you would’ve appreciated my fucking efforts a little damn more considering you don’t have to work at all!”
“Katsuki, what the hell are you talking about?” You questioned, sitting up a little straighter.
“I’m talking about you fucking cheating on me! You think I wouldn’t notice all the fucking gifts you got for spreading your legs for some rich bastard?!” He asked and threw your gifted dress on your lap. You looked at it in shock as you ran your fingers across the singes. “Why don’t you take that fucking dress and the rest of your stupid gifts, and get the fuck out of this ho-“
Without letting him finish, you pushed his chest away and ran downstairs to the island. You set your eyes on the island and you stopped in your tracks, covering your open mouth with your hands in shock. Bakugou followed you down the stairs so he could see your reaction to having your gifts ruined, thinking it was exactly what you deserved for “cheating.”
“No, no, no!” You said an ran to the scattered gifts, trying to collect them as best as you could. Tears fell down your face as you looked at all the broken pieces in your hand. It wasn’t that you cared about receiving gifts, it was that these gifts were from people who cared enough to remember the day you came into this world. A day your own boyfriend couldn’t even remember this year. You found the crushed bouquet and held it against your chest. A gift from your dear father, ruined.
“What is wrong with you?” You tearfully asked the blonde behind you. You stood on your feet as he smirked at you with crossed arms and scoffed.
“What’s wrong with you? Fucking cheating on me with some sugar daddy?! And don’t even try to lie your way out of this shit, I read the fucking card.” He stated. You gawked at him in confusion and looked around as if he was crazy.
“The bouquet was from my father, Bakugou! Not my fucking sugar daddy! I don’t fucking have one, you prick!” Your words made Bakugou’s eyes pop as his arms uncrossed and slowly fell to his sides.
“W-What?” He asked.
“My father! The roses were from my father! The edible arrangement was from Mina, the rings were from Momo, the teddy bear was from Kirishima, and the dress was from Jirou! They gave me these gifts because it’s my birthday! Remember?!”
Bakugou immediately felt guilt build up in his chest. A little relief with that fact that you weren’t cheating, but immediate guilt for accusing you of doing so, telling you to leave, breaking your gifts, and forgetting your birthday.
“Y-Y/N I-“
“Save it Bakugou. You want me to leave so bad? Then I’ll go.” With that, you slammed the destroyed flowers into his chest and ran to the bedroom to change and pack a small bag with Bakugou following your trail.
“Y/N! No, wait!” He shouted and chased after you. Before he could grab hold of you, you made it into the room and slammed the door in his face before locking it. “Baby! C’mon, open the door! I’m sorry!”
“Leave me alone!” You said as you changed.
“No! Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I forgot your birthday, I’m sorry I accused you of cheating, I’m sorry I ruined your special day. Please just let me in to fix this!” He begged. You finally opened the door with an angry look. “Baby! Thank go-“
“You can’t fix this, Bakugou!” You said with tears poking at the ends of your eyes. His heart began to ache when he noticed them and the bag you carried. Not only that but ever since you started calling him Bakugou again, he felt weak.
“Baby..it’s Katsuki.” He said trying to reach out for you but you snatched your hand away.
“Don’t call me that and as of right now, no it’s not!” You tried to walk away but Bakugou grabbed onto your waist to stop you.
“Y/N, stop, please. Look, you don’t have to go, just stay here and we can talk about this. Please we don’t even have to talk, just stay here. I’ll sleep in the guest room just don’t go, please.” He pleaded with soft tears. You bit your lip before calming down and speaking to him.
“Katsuki, I can’t be around you right now.” You said with a broken voice. “I just need some space…please.”
Katsuki still refused to let you go and so you stood there for what felt like forever. Eventually, you felt his hold weaken and so you pulled his arms off before walking away. Bakugou quietly followed you to the exit and before you left, Bakugou grabbed your wrist.
“I’m sorry. Please..let me fix this.” He said with tears running down his eyes. You froze before going in to make a move. You sighed and placed your hands on his face and wiped away his tears with your thumb. Bakugou took the opportunity to hold you in his arms once more as he leaned in to your touch. You pulled his face in and pecked his cheek before placing your hand on the knob once more.
“We’ll talk when I get back.” You softly said. You didn’t bother to see his response before you shut the door and got in your car to drive away.
Talk about a birthday bummer.
A/N: UGH, HORRIBLE ENDING
Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101
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helloalycia · 3 years
Text
lose you [three] // leigh shaw
summary: just when you think Leigh is finally listening to you and giving you space, she happens to do the opposite
warning/s: mentions of loss and implications of death/grief
author's note: so this is the final part! this was fun to write ngl – i hope you like the conclusion! :)
part one | part two | masterlist | wattpad
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"I think the colours look great like this, don't you?" I asked Jules, pointing to the screen of her laptop
She hummed in agreement as she sipped her smoothie.
"Or maybe this...," I said, preoccupied with trying out something different. "Okay, hold on, let me see."
We were both sat in this smoothie place a few stores  down from her workplace, working on some more promotional material for another set of classes she was setting up.
"You know, we could easily do this at the studio," Jules commented in a knowing tone. "Or even at my house."
I glanced at her before looking back to the screen. "It's better this way."
She knew what I meant, so I knew I didn't need to elaborate. Ever since Leigh had finally gotten the hint and left me alone for the week, I'd been keeping away from her as much as I could, still trying to figure out what I was feeling. This also meant not going to her workplace or her house in case I bumped into her.
"So, you're not gonna tell me what happened between you and my sister?" Jules asked curiously, for the millionth time, leaning forward.
I scrunched my nose as I shook my head. "Not this time, Jules, sorry."
An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. "Leigh won't say anything either, so that's no fun..."
Not knowing how to respond, I simply kept quiet and continued to play around with the colour palette of the designs I'd put together. Jules watched over me, inputting her ideas every now and then and explaining her 'vision', before our time was interrupted with her phone ringing.
"Hello," she answered it casually, before continuing to speak to whoever. "...No, I've got one... no need! I'll pick one up for you."
I gave her a sideways glance as she looked the other way quickly, as if hiding something.
Her voice lowered as she continued to speak to whoever. "Yes, we're here..." She sighed. "She's fine, Leigh."
I rolled my eyes as I looked back to the laptop, trying to distract myself.
"Okay, I'll see you soon, bye," Jules mumbled before hanging up and looking back to me.
It was quiet for a moment, neither of us speaking as I clicked away on her trackpad. Figuring she wouldn't speak, I chose to.
"Was that Leigh?"
Looking down at her smoothie awkwardly, Jules nodded. "Er, yeah."
I shot her a look. "You know you can have a normal conversation with her. She is your sister after all."
Jules ran a hand through her hair. "Yes, I know, I just... I don't want to make you feel awkward."
"It's fine," I reassured her with a small smile, before looking to the screen. Unable to stop myself, I asked, "How is she?"
A pause, then: "She's good."
I nodded nonchalantly, though I was glad to hear. I wasn't heartless – I still cared about her. But my stubbornness, as Taylor liked to constantly point out, was keeping me from hearing Leigh out. Her words still rang clear in my ears, the implication louder than the words themselves. And then that made me angry all over again and I found myself in a constant cycle of needing space from Leigh and wanting to hear her out.
Trying to ignore my conflicting thoughts for the girl who wasn't even present, I continued to work on Jules' designs before she had to get back to work and so did I.
"Are you okay to come over tonight to finish those off?" she asked as I packed away my things.
I hesitated, chewing on my lip. The whole point was to avoid going to her house.
"I'll make sure Leigh isn't there," Jules promised, noticing my silence, before adding with a playful smile, "Or is that new promotion of yours too time-consuming for you to spend time with me?"
"You know that's not true," I told her with a suppressed laugh, before relaxing my shoulders and nodding slowly. "I... I guess I can come around for a little while."
"Only a few hours," she promised me.
I nodded. "Okay, sure. I guess I'll see you tonight, Jules."
She grinned. "Awesome! See you tonight."
I probably should have figured out that Jules was lying to me. I'd known her long enough to tell when she was playing me, but I must have been so distracted by everything that I failed to realise what she was doing until it was too late.
When I got to the Shaw residence that evening after dinner, Jules answered and let me in, promising that her sister and mum were out on a girls night so wouldn't bother us. That was the first major hint – Leigh hated spending 'girls night' with her mum.
Then, when I set my bag down in the living room, waiting for Jules to join me, I heard the front door slam shut.
Spinning around and staring into that direction of the house, I called after her. "Jules? You still here?"
Instead of Jules, Leigh stepped in the doorway, dressed in a jumper and joggers, hair messy but small smile on her lips. That's when I realised I'd been tricked.
"I'm out of here," I said instantly, grabbing my bag to go.
"No, please stay," she said pleadingly, taking a step forward, but stopping when she saw how much I didn't want to be near her right now.
"I can't believe you'd resort to such childish methods of trickery," I admitted with disbelief. "And just when I thought you were finally listening to me and giving me space."
She pressed her lips together firmly as I spoke, before saying, "You wouldn't have come if I'd called, Y/N. It was the only way to get you here."
"Of course I wouldn't have!" I said with frustration, hand on my bag strap tightening. "I didn't want to see you!"
"I know you didn't, that's why I left you tons of messages!" she exclaimed, before rolling her eyes bitterly. "Your stupid, love-struck assistant is clearly terrible at delivering said messages."
"You mean the assistant with the boyfriend?" I retorted with a glare.
Her eyebrows creased together with confusion. "She has a boyfriend?"
I groaned loudly before moving forward to leave. "I'm going."
Leigh's bitchiness dispersed as she realised what was happening. "Wait, Y/N– just wait!"
Ignoring her, I continued my approach to the door and pushed past her without sparing her a glance. I was afraid that if I did, I would say something I'd regret.
"Please!" she called after me. And I was a mere few centimetres from the door before she shouted, "I love you!"
I widened my eyes with surprise, wondering if I'd heard that right. Stopping in place, I turned around slowly and saw Leigh standing in the living room doorway with teary eyes and a quivering lip.
"I'm in love with you," she repeated, confirming my hearing. Green eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she continued, "I was stupid how I acted and I– I've treated you so horribly and you always put up with it. But not this time."
She paused, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks as she raised a shaky hand to move her hair from her eyes.
Swallowing hard, she said, "I p–push people away and I've pushed so many friends away, but y-you never left. You stayed this whole time a–and I've already lost so much, but I can't take losing you. I c–can't lose you, Y/N."
Forgetting my anger for a moment, I felt my heart ache in my chest as Leigh broke down before me. I'd seen her at her worst before, but this was different. She was choosing to be vulnerable and that never came easy to her.
"Leigh, I'm not going anywhere," I said gently, frown on my lips. "We're in a fight right now and I'm angry, yeah, but I would never leave you. Not for good."
"You say that!" she snapped, clenching her fists as more tears streamed down her cheeks. "You say that, but then blocked calls and wanting space turns into leaving because you can't take it anymore. You can't take me anymore. And I can't take it, I can't take pushing you away. I can't lose you."
She clenched her jaw, eyes piercing through me with sadness and guilt and anger all at once.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said, her voice softer and very unlike herself. "The kiss it– it scared me because I wanted to do it for a long time, but you're my best friend and best friends don't do that. So, I tried to forget about it, but I ended up blaming you in the process and it's not you who's at fault here, it's me. And because of that, you're going to hate me and leave and I'm going to be a–alone again and I can't do that again, n–not again, n–not–"
I drew closer to her and pulled her in for a hug, unable to take her hysterics any longer. It hurt too much, seeing her pour her truth out in such a volatile way that had clearly been building up for a while.
She cried as I held her close, pressing a kiss to her hair and rubbing her back slowly. I never meant for it to get like this. I didn't know that she was going through all of this turmoil and now I felt bad, even if she'd hate that I did.
"I'm not going anywhere, Leigh," I promised her, my own tears burning the lids of my eyes. "I swear. you're not going to lose me and I could never hate you. Don't even think that for one minute..."
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I led her to the bench by the front door and held her close, not caring that her tears were soaking my shirt or that she was clinging so tightly that I would never be able to pry her off, not unless she let go by choice.
I wasn't sure how long we sat there, but her cries eventually turned into sniffles and her head found it's way onto my shoulder. My arms wrapped around her torso, still rubbing circles onto her back, and hers clung around my shoulders tightly.
"I'm so sorry," she muttered guiltily into my neck, her warm breath tickling the skin and sending shivers down my spine.
I swallowed hard. "I know you are. I forgive you, Leigh."
She didn't say anything and I wondered why she was unable to let go and meet my eyes. Maybe it was easier to talk when we weren't looking at each other.
"I would never leave you, you know," I told her quietly, letting her know again. I'd let her know forever if it meant she'd believe me. "You can be such a bitch sometimes, but I put up with it because I love you, too."
She sighed. "But not like I love you."
I tried not to smile. "You're kidding, right? Of course like you love me. Why do you think I got so upset at your stupid date the other week?"
Finally pulling away from my neck, she faced me with confused eyes. "You said it was because I didn't reply to your messages."
I rolled my eyes. "It was because I thought that you didn't care about kissing me. I was scared that you didn't like me like that. That you thought you'd made a mistake." 
Her eyes flickered between mine, as if trying to understand what I was saying. Realisation passed through them as she stroked my neck with her finger, arms still laced around my shoulders.
"So, the kiss. You didn't– you don't hate me?"
I shook my head, squeezing her waist gently. "I don't. And if you'd given me a chance, I would've kissed you back. Properly. Like–" I sucked up a nervous breath. "Like you deserve."
She didn't say anything for a moment, eyes merely reading mine intimidatingly. For once, a rare instance between us, I couldn't tell what she was thinking.
"Now's your chance," she finally spoke, before capturing my bottom lip between hers in an instant.
Unlike last time, I got over my surprise quite quickly and closed my eyes, pulling her closer by the waist and returning the kiss. Her lips were soft and salty and addictive, and when she rested her hand on my chest to gently push me away after a moment, I immediately chased her lips down again, refusing to let her go so quickly. Not when I'd waited so long for this moment.
She gasped as I swiped my tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entry. Using that as opportunity, I slipped my tongue between her lips and met hers in the middle, revelling in the taste that was Leigh Shaw. It didn't go beyond that and that was okay, as I was too busy focusing on how perfect she fit next to me, my one hand on her waist and the other on the back of her neck.
Finally pulling apart for air, she rested her forehead against mine and I opened my eyes to be submerged in pools of green. Licking her lips, she breathed out slowly.
"I don't want to lose you," she admitted in a whisper.
Pushing her hair behind her ear, I rested my hand on her jaw and caressed it. "You won't. I told you. I'm not leaving you. Not now. Not ever. I promise."
She closed her eyes, lips trembling ever so slightly. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep."
I realised she was probably thinking back to her late husband and I didn't blame her. She'd suffered through so much and I couldn't imagine the fears she had.
"I'll keep it for as long as I can," I told her, kissing her  forehead. "But know for sure that you won't be getting rid of me that easily."
She cracked a small smile through her teary eyes, nodding slightly. "I'll try to be less of a bitch."
"Hey, be as bitchy as you want," I told her playfully. "I'm not going anywhere, remember?"
She let out a small snort through her nose, barely a laugh, but it was music to my ears and it brought a smile to my lips. Finally opening her eyes, she looked to me with adoration and it made my heart beat a little faster.
"I love you," she said with the utmost sincerity.
I wiped away a stray tear of hers with the pad of my thumb and met her gaze. "I love you, too, Leigh."
Glassy eyes watched mine, content for the first time in a long time, before she pulled me in for a hug, tucking her head into my neck like it was her favourite spot in the world. I knew the feeling of her there was definitely mine.
"What do you want to do now?" I asked quietly, not wanting to break the peace we'd created.
"I'm really tired," she admitted, lips brushing my neck as she spoke.
I pressed a kiss to the side of her head, mumbling into her hair, "Let's get you to sleep then."
She hummed in agreement and I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd closed her eyes already.
"I want you to stay," she added. "To sleep with me."
Pausing, I tried not to laugh, which she realised and nudged me in the gut lightly.
"Not like that, idiot," she said, definitely giving me an eye roll even though I couldn't see her. "I mean, yes, eventually like that. If you want. But not now. Now, I just want you next to me."
Smile of adoration on my lips, I squeezed her gently. "Hmm, I'm not sure. I've got work in the morning. Early start."
She pulled away from me suddenly, frown on her lips and eyes flickering between mine disappointedly. I sighed, raising my hand and stroking her cheek.
"I'm kidding," I told her with a knowing look. "I mean, I do have work, but I'll stay if you want me to."
"Jerk," she mumbled, before standing up and pulling me up with her. "You're staying."
I kept ahold of her hand and intertwined our fingers, tugging her closer to me. She still seemed disgruntled from my joke, so I kissed her cheek, lingering for a second longer than usual, before smiling.
"Come on, grumpy pants."
She narrowed her eyes at me childishly, but continued to lead me upstairs and to her bedroom. As we walked, I remembered something.
"So, does Jules know about us? Since she helped you to trick me tonight?"
Leigh didn't bother flicking on the lights to her room when we entered, instead closing the door behind us and letting the streetlights from outside her window guide us to her bed.
"She knows we argued," she answered delicately. "I didn't know how to tell her about how I felt when I–" She sighed. "When I didn't even know how to tell you."
I nodded, not bothering to ask her about if she wanted to tell her tomorrow, or tell her mum tomorrow. Or if she wanted to wait and tell them later when we were settled into our relationship. I trusted her to talk to me when she was ready and there was no rush anyway.
"Jules is out with a friend tonight and my mum is working late," she explained their absence. "And you've slept over before so this is no different."
"True," I agreed.
A yawn escaped Leigh's lips and I couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked when she stretched her arms and scrunched her face tiredly. When she finished, she opened her eyes and saw my expression.
"What's got you all smiley?" she asked with a quirked brow.
I shook my head dismissively as she grabbed some pyjama pants from her drawer. "You're too cute is all."
Groaning loudly, she said, "God, Y/N, don't do that. Don't be all couple-y already. Especially not when it's–"
"What?" I cut her off with amusement, as she threw the pants in my face. "Complimenting you?"
"Exactly," she said like it was obvious, before waving her hand with irritation. "Just take your pants off so we can go to sleep."
I chuckled. "Eager much?"
She groaned again, but I saw a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. As I changed out of my jeans, she got under the duvet and got comfortable. I joined her soon enough, just about pulling the duvet on top of me before she grabbed my arm and forced me to roll over and spoon her from behind.
I stifled a laugh as she entwined our hands, resting them on her waist, and sighed contently.
"So, guess I can't be little spoon tonight then?" I teased, making her kick me with her foot.
"My bed, my choice," she muttered, voice heavy with fatigue.
Settling in behind her, I put my leg between hers comfortably and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her neck where my head lay.
"I don't mind being the big spoon," I reassured her, though I knew it wouldn't make a difference. If Leigh wanted to be cuddled, that was the end of it.
It went quiet as I appreciated how pleasant it felt with her in my arms, her body pressed closely to mine and her self radiating a comforting warmth only she seemed to possess. I could definitely get used to this.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah?"
She stopped, breathing out slowly. "Thanks for staying."
"Well, you asked so nicely and–"
"No," she cut me off quietly. "Thanks."
It took me a second to realise that she wasn't talking about just now. I smiled to myself.
"Always, Leigh."
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luimagines · 3 years
Note
RQ: He’s upset and needs comforting
Masterlist
Ya'll want angst? Because I have some angst.
Very hurt/comfort
Set platonically and within the group since there was no specification. Hope that’s ok! Sorry it took awhile, it got away from me again. I think this may be a trend.
Scenario under the cut! It’s super long so take caution!
Sky
It took a while for you to notice but eventually you do.
Sky has been acting weird all day.
It was only clipped responses at first, then it was was the lack of attention where Sky would have been the first to comment or act otherwise. What really tipped you off finally was how he seemed to be evading the whole group. Not necessarily stepping away and out of sight but he didn’t interact with anyone and when they approached him, he didn’t make eye contact, seemingly trying to cut the conversation short.
No one has said anything. 
You mention it to Twilight about his out of character behavior but he says that it maybe a bad day, or he slept wrong, or some other reason that you stopped listening to because it didn’t make any sense.
Sky was always trying to be friendly no matter his mood and it took a lot to shake him up.
What was eating at the Chosen Hero?
Soon, the uncertainty begins to eat at you too and you wait for night fall, once everyone is asleep to strike.
Strike up a conversation that is.
Sky usually takes the last watch because he’s usually the first one out regardless of what activities for the day so you strive to wake up early.
It works for the most part, your internal clock doing what you want it to do when you blink your eyes open. Part of you begins to drift off again so you sit up and nearly fall asleep that way.
A hand comes up on your back and rubs a small circle. “Nightmare?”
It’s Sky and he’s looking at you with mild concern.
You smile and shake your head. “No. I’m alright but I think I’ll stay up with you if you don’t mind.”
“I wouldn’t mind the company.” He moves out of your space and back to where he sat.
You follow, still groggy from just waking from your slumber but succeed in not stepping on any of your friends or waking them up as well with the added noise. you sit next to the Hero of the Skies with little fan fare and let the moment settle on the both of you before looking skyward.
“Can I ask you something?” You don’t look at Sky and continue star gazing even if they’re a little harder to spot as the sun travels closer for it’s shift.
Sky hums in agreement and follows your gaze upwards.
“Are you ok? You seemed a little off lately.”
Sky doesn’t say anything for the first few seconds and you suspect that maybe he didn’t hear you. With him spacing out so much and the fact that you whispered for the sake of your still sleeping friends, you’re inclined to repeat yourself but Sky answers in time.
“Just thinking a lot, I suppose. Nothing serious.”
“Yeah?” You don’t look his way. This is casual. This is friendly. This is not a big deal. “Rupee for your thoughts?”
“It’s not that interesting.”
You shrug. “Hit me with it anyway. It’s got to be something if it’s throwing you off your rocker. Maybe a new perspective will help clear some of it up?”
Sky frowns at your attempts, once again retreating into his mind. You let the offer hang in the air and let it sink in.
You’re disinclined to bring it up anymore. Your brain is still tired and you’re wondering your effectiveness when half of your thoughts are still muddled with sleep and fatigue. You could have totally slept in some more. What on earth made you think this was a good idea?
“Time mentioned something earlier that I can’t seem to let go of.” Sky begins.
You hum back and let him keep talking.
“I never fought this Ganon guy they all so talk so much about. I fought the God Demise. Before I could land the final blow, he cast a curse on me, on us, that some cycle would continue. His hatred would last forever and my blood line and Zelda’s will be cursed to deal with constant darkness caused by him.” Sky admits, looking now at his intertwined hands. “I finished him soon after that but... I wonder... Am I the cause-... Is this all my fault? Am I the reason that we’re all here right now? That everyone has gone through so much? So many thing happened that should have never occurred. Time and Legend and Wild have all suffered so much.... more than I can possibly ever imagine and it seems like it’s never ending. Everyone starts they’re adventures so young... If I had killed him sooner... If I had just got it over with... If I had just shut him up-”
“Hey.” Your hand lands on his shoulder, cutting off his tirade.  “None of this is anyone’s fault. The only people to blame are Ganon and now, this Demise guy. You did what you could. You still got the job done and no one here will ever blame you for what has happened to them or to Hyrule. You were young too... you’re still young. Give yourself a little kindness and understanding, just as you do with everyone here. You didn’t deserve it either. It’s not like you asked to fight a God.”
“Well...”
“Sky you know what I mean.”
“I should have been faster. If-”
“There’s no use in worrying about what if’s.” You shove him slightly. “This is our life. Even if you ask, no one is capable of giving you the answers. I get it. It’s hard to know if the path you took is the right one if it’s all you’ve ever known and you can’t see where the other would have lead... But... Even if horrible things happen, I’m still glad to have met you. I’m glad I met the others. I’m happy to be here with you and with them, and I’m glad that it’s not just me anymore.”
You let the words sink in before leaning down wards and trying to get him to look you in the eye. “I can’t answer your questions. But what happened, happened and the best thing we can do is learn how to play with the cards we’re dealt.”
He take a deep breath and  finally looks in your direction. “I know you’re right.” 
“Naturally.”
“But I can’t help but feel responsible for being-”
“But you’re not responsible for their pain or any of this Sky. If Ganon has anything to do with Demise then it’s all Demise’ fault. His and his only. Understand?” You stress. “I wish... I wish I could do something more to help.”
Sky places his hand over yours where you still have it on his shoulder and sends you a small smile. “I know. Me too.”
Wild
“Zelda, would you please drop it!” You hear the Champion yell, his voice carrying over the wind and somehow getting louder. “We’ve had this conversation before and it’s not the time to have it again. I have things to do excuse me.”
Wild storms into his house and shuts the door behind, blocking it with all his weight and waits for the indignant shrieking on the other side to go away. The voice ends with a frustrated huff and after a moment of silence, Wild relaxes and steps away from the door and further into the house.
You’re almost scared for the moment. You’ve not known Wild to yell, even less so for a Link to be on bad terms with Zelda no matter the universe. To make matters worse, you were the only that was actually within the house at the moment and you weren’t entirely sure how to proceed from here.
“Trouble in paradise?”
That probably wasn’t the way to go, if you were being honest with yourself.
Wild groans, loud and exaggerated and sits at the table in front of you with as much fan fair.
“Do not...call it that.” He sounds tired.
“Sorry.” You amend with an apologetic shrug. “That-” You reference to the scene outside. “-Didn’t sound ideal.”
“No. It’s not.” Wild sighs and places his face in his hands with his elbows on the table. Bad table manners, a small voice in your head pipes up. But it’s his house, so you bite your tongue.
“Can I ask what it was about?” You hesitatingly venture.
Wild takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “I wanted to live a simple life.” He starts. “Everything was over now, right? That was the idea I had. Defeat the evil and get to finally live as a normal man. Maybe explore more of my home and show Zelda all the cool things I’ve seen and done. Everything I knew, everything I remembered is gone and has been gone for a while. No one alive misses it. No one alive even knows about it. This is the world they were born into and they wouldn’t have it any other way. I was prepared to accept that and join them.”
Your face twists in sympathy as you nod along. “I take it that’s the issue here.”
“When I defeated Calamity Ganon and reunited with Zelda, she seemed so full of hope and purpose.” Wild continues. “I saw it in her eyes. She wanted a different thing to what I wanted.”
“And what’s that?”
Wild gives you a pained look. “Zelda wants to try and rebuild the kingdom. Make it into what she remembers it to be. She wants to strengthen relationships with the other nations and reestablish the royal family and a whole lot of other things that I cannot begin to think of how long it would both take and last considering all the damage that already been done. She wants to be Queen. And over what? Hyrule Kingdom is no more. Can’t be a Queen without a kingdom to rule and there’s not a lot of Hylians left that would agree to being ruled over or even enough of them to count as a kingdom to begin with.”
“I suppose it’s not a bad goal to have but you do make a point.” You try and add to the conversation, feeling wildly out of your depth. “Does she know that you-”
“Yes. And she thinks I’m crazy for it. She thinks that I’ve given up on my friends and the past and the future and- uugghhh.” Wild leaned forward and slams his head on the table with enough force to make you jump.
“That look like it hurt.”
“I’ve had worse.”
“I believe you.” A small smile covers your face.
A beat passes before Wild continues to talk with his head still on top of the table. “I don’t think she realizes that I’ve changed after everything. Maybe if I had my memories to begin with, or maybe if I had managed to defeat Calamity Ganon sooner, I’d be more inclined to agree with her, but I’ve experienced so much and done so much that I don’t want to go back to how things were. I’m a different man now.” Wild looks up at you. “She’s different too but I don’t think she’s ready for that conversation.” 
“So you’re stuck with this one?”
“Yes.”
“That sucks man.” You shift in your seat. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Not if you can change the past.” He pouts.
“Shame. I’m fresh out of past changing wishing powder.”
“That’s not a thing.” He pouts even more.
You chuckle at the display before sobering up ever so slightly. “Do you want me to talk to her?”
“What good will that do?”
“Maybe a third person party has to step in. It could be that it’s because you’re the one who saying that she isn’t listening.” You shrug. “I think you’re right but I’m willing to give her chance to tell her side of the story while you cool down in here. I can be a distraction so you can sneak out quietly and she won’t know you’re here anymore! It’s a win win! And maybe you guys can come to an agreement when you both see each other again with new perspectives.”
Wild gives you another tired look and leans into his hand. “I doubt it would work. Zelda is incredibly stubborn, one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. But if you think it would help, I won’t stop you. I’ve run out of arguments and I’m done hearing hers.”
“Ok.” You say getting up and moving around the table. “I think it’s worth a shot. There’s a saying where I’m from that goes, ‘it’ll all be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.’”
You give Wild a hug around his shoulder and squeeze him tight. “I have faith that you’ll pull through and get to live peacefully, but until then, you’ve got us on your side ok?”
He leans in your direction and wraps his arms around your own. “I know. I figured as much.”
“Good man.”
“I’m definitely sneaking out of here though.”
“That’s fair. Go hide.”
“I will... And thanks for listening to me. I didn’t mean to go off like that.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
Four
"I'm sorry, what?" Four snaps his head up to stare at the Champion.
"What?" Wild tilts his head. "What? There's no stuff in the grass in my Hyrule. Just crickets and lizards...you know normal stuff. I don't know why there's tools and rupees in all of yours."
"You don't-" Four cut himself off with a click of his teeth, a piece in his mind clicking into place. He stands suddenly, clearly upset and tense as he processes the information.
"Four?" You call out to him but he doesn't respond to you, nor does he look back.
"Four!" Hyrule calls as well. "Where are you going?"
No reply.
"I'll go with him. Just in case." You stand up in a rush and nearly knock over the equipment at your feet in the process. "Don't wait up for us."
You follow him.
Four is fast and quiet and it takes very little time to lose him- or rather, for him to lose you.
Before you knew it, there's no trace of him and there's nothing within the forest that would give you a hint to his whereabouts.
"Great." You hiss and look around.
Nothing.
"Four!" If he won't show himself, you'll just have to make some noise. "Four! Four! Show me a sign so I know you're not dead!"
You wait.
"Don't make me get Wolfie!"
Nothing.
"Four!" You scream a little louder and begin to run. Now that you've said it out loud, despite being a joke in the beginning, the thought of Four being dead somewhere spikes your panic and anxiety and it fuels your quest.
It's only been a few minutes and Four can handle himself just fine but you don't think about that.
"FOUR!"
"Why are you screaming?" A voice come just beyond you.
You sprint toward it and find Four in a small clearing, crouched down and appearing to hold something in the palm of his hand.
"I was calling you." You don't know how you find it in you scold him. "A response would have been nice."
"Sorry." He shrugs. "I was having a conversation, it would be rude to drop it."
You get on your tip toes to look around him and find nothing. "With... With what?"
Four looks down into his hand and places it, ever so gently, on the ground, pausing and standing up to see you. "You can't see them?"
"See who?" You step over to him. "Four? Are you ok?"
His face twists in annoyance before sighing. "I'm fine."
"No offence, but I doubt that."
"It... a group of creatures that can only be seen by good children. They were important on my quests and have helped me greatly. Children usually stop seeing them around the time when they turn sixteen."
"Would it be easy for me to chalk it all up to magic?" You bit your lip.
"Probably. If it'll help you sleep at night." Four sighs and looks down to the ground, a small smile on his lips before it twists into a painfully and... he looks seconds from crying.
"I did so much to help them... and they helped me.... They leave gifts in the grass to help travelers and us heroes alike and yet... Wild says it doesn't happen anymore..." Four gulps and looks away from you and what ever is by his foot. "They wouldn't stop.... They're incredibly kind and hospitable and... There's no reason for them... Why are they gone?"
"Four." You reach out and place a hand on his shoulder.
"What happens to them?" His Adam's apple bobs a bit as he sucks in a breath. "It just means there was no one to help them."
"Oh Four." You pull him into a hug and nearly crush him with it.
"There's nothing I can do to help them, is there?" He sniffles into your chest.
"No, I... I don't think so Four. Not that far out into the future." You shake your head and begin to rub circles on his back.
You don't think he's crying but he might be fighting it because he does begin shaking.
He doesn't say anything else and you're loath to let him go when he's so emotionally charged. So you hold him. You hold him for as long as he needs and you wait for him to pull away first.
When he does, you keep your hands on his shoulders and he stays within your reach. Four begins to take deep calming breaths with his eyes closed and you instinctually run your hands through his bangs and push some of the loose hairs from his face.
Minutes continue to pass and the sounds of nature around you fill the void.
"I'm sorry." You say. "I wish I could help you but I don't know how."
Four nods and rubs his eyes. "I don't doubt that. Thank you. I'll be ok."
You don't think he's ready to go back to the group just yet, not after all that. "Tell me more about these friends of yours. How did they help you? How did you help them? What are they exactly?"
It earns you a small laugh and he grins up at you with a watery smile. "Sit down. And let me tell you about the Picori."
Twilight
“You almost died and for what?!” Twilight screams at Wild for the umpteenth time.
It startles you to hear his voice reach such volumes but you’re inclined to agree with him this time around. After Wild’s stunt with taking a hit to the head for Wind, you’d been on the look out for his more... self sacrificing behavior. You knew he wouldn’t think twice to do it and you tried to make it so there wouldn’t even be a chance for him to make such a decision.
This time though, in this last fight, you took your eyes off of him for only a moment and that’s when he broke his streak of uneventful fights. 
Twilight, of course, is livid and has no regard for the poor creatures of the forest that have to endure his tirade as he unleashes his concern and worry in the form of rage and over exaggerated gestures.
When Hyrule finishes healing your more minor wounds, you slink away from the soon to be screaming match since Wild is very much still conscious, if a little roughed up. You don’t intended to stray as far as you go but you don’t find it in yourself to care for the time being.
Being around so many people for so long is taxing. You make the executive decision to remove yourself for the time being while tensions are high, to both cool off and to avoid getting hit in the crossfire.
There’s a small creek nearby, you find, and decide to make a small space for yourself there until dinner comes rolling around. The birds and the babbling waters calm your soul and snuffle out the last of the adrenaline. You don’t know how long you sit there, but you can faintly hear the screaming match in the distance that you dipped out of.
You don’t regret it.
More time passes and you find that you may or may not have taken a small nap in the meantime. If the position of the sun is anything to go by.
Despite the pain in your back from sleeping against a tree, the slight ache in your neck from the angle you slept in, you feel better. Clearer, even.
You hope your absence wasn’t entirely noticed but you can’t seem to regret leaving either.
Footsteps creep closer to you and you huddle into a small ball out of habit to avoid detection.
It’s Twilight.
He walks near the creek and takes a heavy seat next to it. He looks both pale or red faced at the same time but exhaustion is laced in his entire body from what you can tell.
He doesn’t notice you.
You uncurl and set your legs out in front of you. Leaning forward a little, as quietly as you can, you see that he’s upset. It doesn’t surprise you. But seeing as you don’t how to deal with an upset Twilight and you can’t really sneak away without crossing his line of sight or making any miniscule noise, you still yourself and wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Twilight calls your name. Quietly and hollow- like he’s not all there. Or in the way one would talk to a memory.
It’s immediately unsettling. Both in how he sounds and how he knew you were there without you doing anything. But you suppose Twilight can just sense things like that from times to time. It’s certainly not the first time he’s done it.
“I’m here.” You reply.
“How long?”
“A few hours I think. Longer than you were here that’s for sure.” You shrug and slowly crawl out of your hidey hole. “I think I fell asleep....The sun wasn’t over there when I first got here.”
Twilights hums in what you think is agreement but it’s really only a sound. “It’s a nice spot.”
You smile. It’s tense and little fake, but he’s not looking at you so you don’t care for authenticity. “Good thing it’s big enough for the both of us huh?”
“Yeah.” He looked into the distance again, noting that the sun is beginning to set and takes a deep breath. “Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?”
“Can’t say that I have.” You move closer to him, aiming to sit by his side. “I’ve always enjoyed sun sets and I find them calming to watch but hearing someone finding them sad is a new one. Do you feel sad as dusk falls?”
He hums again. “They say it’s the only time their world interacts with ours.”
“Whos?”
“Lingering spirits I suppose...” Twilight tilts his head upwards before twisting it to look at you. “It’s nothing. I’m just reminiscing about my life before my adventure is all. My... father told me those words and I haven’t forgotten them since.”
You hum this time and lean back to mirror him. “Wanna tell me why?”
“That Champion reminds me so much of myself and yet... he’s ten times worse.” Twilight falls backwards with a soft thump. “I know why he does it but I...”
“You care about him and don’t want to see him hurt.” You shrug. “It’s not exactly a new concept.”
“Tell that to him.”
“Maybe I will. He gets just as upset as you do when this happens, you know.” You shift your weight to make it easier to stand up later.
“Does he? You’d think that he’d get the point to stop doing then.” He growls.
“Maybe he’s scared of losing more friends.” You blurt before you can stop yourself. That was something Wild told you in confidence and while he didn’t say you couldn’t tell anyone- that was kinda implied.
Twilight stills for a moment, the fight leaving him again in a single breath as he considers your words. They don’t seem to be new news to him.
Wild is pretty close to Twilight...Maybe he already knew.
“I still think I’m entitled to not like it.” He settles.
“It’s not he’s asking you to be ok with it. I know I’m not.” 
“I guess that’s fair then.” Twilight sits up again and stands up in one fluid motion that you envy. With a turn on his heel, he holds his hand out to you to take.
You take it and feel him effortlessly lift you off of the ground with that one hand.
You don’t comment on it.
“Come on.” He says. “I’m going to need you for moral support.”
“Why?”
“If I yelled in front of him of the whole group, I should apologize to him in front of the whole group.” He admits and wraps his arm around your shoulders. “But I might need an excuse to get close to him again after all the things I’ve said.”
“I get your desert and you’ve got yourself a deal. I left to not get involved and here you are... involving me.” You tease. “I demand payment.”
“One desert? I can do that.”
Hyrule
“I can’t do this.” You snap your head to the sound of the voice and see Hyrule with his arms cross and shaking.
“What? What’s happening? Hyrule?” You step closer to him as you’re the only one within arms reach. “What do I need to do? How can I help?”
“There’s nothing. Nothing you can do, that can make this better.” Hyrule takes one ground step before throwing his arms down. “Don’t you see them? With all their tools and experience and then there’s- me. Just me. Some magic later and a old man with a sword and I found myself trying to save my princess and defeat some evil, but these guys...”
You look around, trying to see if Legend or Sky are close enough to give you back up, or better yet, take over. You suppose it’s better than a panic attack but it’s so left field that you’re stunned and floundering to catch this hot potato of a conversation.
He keep talking.
“For all that is good and holy, they are heroes. Do you see them? Some of them have training, and families and skills and I....was just a boy in a grave yard. How can I even compete with them? I don’t, that’s how. But how can they consider me an equal? When I was in town and listened to the elders and their stories, they would tell me of a legendary hero from the past who courageously defended our home until the very end and who was virtually undefeated in all his adventures. And then I meet Legend....and he’s so much cooler than all those stories combined.”
“Link.” You call out to him and back to the real world. “You need to slow down for me honey because you’re too fast for me to keep up. What do you mean how can they see you as an equal? You defeated Ganon just as they did. You stood up for your home just as they did. You did it all on your own just as they did. Why wouldn’t they consider you an equal? No one cares about where you’re from, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”
“But they can do so many things even without the sword!” He exclaims. “They all have a place to go to, a person who cares about them, a title or a skill and a world that’s not on the brink of collapse-”
“Ok, whoa, hey.” You step into his space and take his face into your hands, bringing it up for him to look you in the eyes.
“I have no idea what brought this up but I won’t stand for anyone talking bad about you. And that includes you. We... can talk about your home with clearer heads later, ok? Maybe the others can help with that when we get there, yeah? And well....” You’re sinking. You don’t know what to do with all this information and you have even less of an idea about how to address it.
“Good golly, when it rains, it pours with you lot, doesn’t it?” You hiss under your breath and bite the bullet. With a strong grip, you wrap your arms around the Traveler and pull him close. You try to keep your grip strong without fear of hurting him, but it hits you then how thin he is. How light he actually is. You can feel the hint of armor under his tunic and it does little to quell your fears.
“Clearly there’s a lot on your mind. And... I’m probably not the person to help you through this. If you want to talk about not belonging though, I’m free to listen. I’m the only one here who’s not a Link, if you haven’t noticed.” You try to joke but it falls a little flat. “You though... You belong here with all of us... all of them... And if you need more convincing then I’m bringing this up with Legend who’s is over the moon proud of you and what you can do and he told me himself that he couldn’t be happier to have you as his successor-”
“Really?”
“Not in those exact words admittedly,-” You gulp as the word vomit continues to bubble out of you in waves of panic. “-but I know that’s what he meant because he doesn’t stop talking about how cool you are.”
“Hm.”
“And everyone has a different background, ok? Everyone has skills and people that the others don’t have. That’s ok. It’s not a competition. I get worried that one day you guys are going to create some game out of all your trauma. Like... who had it worse and just go around in a circle listing off all the things that happened to each of you... Whoever runs out of things to say or can’t think of something as bad or worse than the others is out. Last man standing wins.”
“Don’t give them ideas.” You feel him chuckle. It’s breathless and small and it doesn’t reach your ears despite your closeness but you feel it.
“Good thing it’s just you and me right now.” You sigh a little in relief and loosen the hug. “Look, just.....whatever you think you can’t do, just know that there is someone who is confidently doing it wrong right now. In the group or not, just keep your eyes and watch. They don’t plan on doing it better either and people are celebrating them for it. Please believe in your own excellence as much as they believe in their mediocrity.”
“Big words.”
“You’re awesome for trying. Others are not and don’t plan to. You’re already better than them.” You amend, stepping away to look him in the eye again. “The group can’t do magic like you can. That’s all you. They all have items sure but no one can do what you do... and you’re self taught, right? That’s incredible! You have just as much as a reason to be here as the others. I swear it.”
Hyrule sighs and gulps. He doesn’t believe you. It’s not enough.
You knew it wouldn’t be and it’s definitely doesn’t scratch the tip of the iceberg of the bomb he just dropped on you but... step by step. Little by little. you have a plan.
“Screw it. Let’s catch up with Wind and Warrior and get them to tell you how awesome you are, since you won’t listen to me. And if you’re still a nonbeliever then we move on to the next pair. We’ll go down the line if we have to.” You nod and grab his hand, beginning to drag him along.
He laughs after you, a little hysterical and in disbelief. “You’re crazy.”
“That is not new information.” You reply, hiding your grin. “I say it’s Hyrule loving hours and I’m gonna get everyone to join.”
“You’re not joking are you.” It’s a statement. He already knows the answer.
“Nope!”
Legend
It was your turn on watch for the night. In an hour or two you were supposed to wake the Veteran for his shift and finally catch some sleep.
The others snored and slept away without a care in the world. It was just you and cackling fire that was active but you’d kill for something to help your mind get passed the boredom.
Anything but monsters or an attack that is. You’d hate to jinx your good luck so far.
In the corner of your eye, while fighting to keep your head up, you see Legend shift. Not necessarily unusual. You’re inclined to ignore it.
But then he shifts again, whimpering like he’s been hurt and a white knuckled grip on the blanket.
You still and begin to wonder what’s your level of care here.
Part of you, in kindness, wants to go wake him. The lack of sleep seems more merciful than letting him suffer a prison of his own making.
But you also don’t know how he’ll react.
You know he’d hate to be seen as weak for whatever normal reason and he’s been inclined to wake up swinging in the right circumstance.
Twilight suffered a broken nose for the whole night because he was disinclined to wake up Hyrule or take a potion.
Not you’d make the same decision and suffer the whole night in the same manner but it certainly fails to sound appealing.
Just as your about to appeal to your better nature and force yourself to go wake him before it gets worse, he shoots up into a sitting position with a strangled scream. The job seems to have been done for you- but in the worse way.
He’s breathing hard with his hand gripping his chest. Legend begins to frantically look around and slowly begins to piece together where he is and what’s happened. He never looks behind him, where you are, before running a hand through his hair a little harder than you think reasonable and getting to his feet.
You cough slightly, leaning away from the fire and back into previous position. You hadn’t realized you leaned into his direction as you watched him, inches from putting your face into the flame.
He startles at the sound and whips around, one hand poised to reach the sword he’s not equipped with.
“It’s just me.” You wave. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
He calms somewhat and you can see his jaw flex. “Well, goodnight to you.”
His voice is croaked- from disuse or an overwhelming emotion, you’re not sure.
“For me maybe. But you? That was quite a scare you gave me as well.” You play it off. You can at least pretend that you weren’t watching him. That you would have saved him a little earlier and took your sweet time doing it. You offer a peace offering to your morals. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” He snaps, furiously rubbing his face. “It’s nothing new. We all deal with it one way or another.”
“True. But it’ll be easier to let it go, and let the experience float up into the air and never return. Otherwise it’ll fester and grow.” You shrug. “But I won’t force you. I know you’re not exactly fond of me.”
Legend glares into the fire as you talk and refuses to look at you. Once you finish though, he moves his head away, still not in your direction but visually drops more tension from his shoulders.
He doesn’t say anything.
“There’s a spot next to me with your name on it if you want it.” You offer. “A little company wouldn’t hurt.”
He takes more time to respond and you resolve to go back to staring at the fire.
A moment or two passes and you hear the faint sound of crunched foliage. It takes of your will power to not look up as he approaches and even more so when he decidedly sits next to you.
The fabric of his tunic brushes your leg for a minute and it strikes you odd that he sat that close despite the rest of the log at his disposal.
It must have been bad if he wants to be close to someone right after. The thought enters your mind. Once it’s there you don’t chase it away and instead casually lean back with your hand behind you.
If the angle causes you to lean closer to him in the process, you don’t say anything. 
And if Legend notices, he doesn’t say anything either.
A moment of time passes in silence, the only sounds through the whole forest are crickets and a passing owl with the occasional whisper through the trees.
“How do you do it?” He asks.
“Do what?” You tilt your head in his direction.
He’s still not looking at you.
“Keep going.”
The answer shocks momentarily but you’re not surprised that it’s coming from him out of the whole group. “Legend-”
“I’m tired.” He says instead. “I hate this. I hate that sword. I hate that pig demon. I hate that I can’t be done.”
You hand comes up to his shoulder and you force him to look at you. 
He lets you and he looks up to you with tears building up in his eyes and for a moment you’re struck by the odd balance of how old he sounds but how young he looks- is.
You stuck floundering for a response to answer him with but he asks one more thing. “Why can’t I be done?”
You pull him into a hug before you can stop yourself. “I don’t know. I don’t know Link.”
You find yourself wanting to cry as well once Legend collapses into the hug. He’s not hugging you back but he’s being held for the first time in... you don’t know how long. Your grip tightens.
“But I do know is that you’re not alone. Not anymore. And maybe....maybe this is the final fight. That’s why we’re all together right? A darkness so evil ahead that every hero is required and then....rest. For each and every one of you.”
You sniffle, carding your fingers through his hair without a moments hesitation. “If it’s not then I’ll fight everything for you from then on. I’ll take your place you hear me. I’ll take your job and title and you won’t have to do this anymore.”
“I’m the Hero of Legend. That’s not exactly an easy thing-”
“No. I am the hero now. I’ve decided it.” You hide the tears in his hair to the best of your ability.
Legend snorted, loud and wet but you elected to ignore it just as you were ignoring the ever growing wet spot on your shoulder. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“It does now. I said so.”
A beat.
“...Ok.” He sniffled and rubbed his head on your shirt. He took a deep breath and exhaled, letting the night take over the atmosphere again. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
He nods once, definitive and final. Your expecting him to let go now and return to his roll, already electing to take over his shift as well and just push through the next day.
Except he doesn’t.
Legend calls your name, testing the waters and lifts his head up ever so slightly. “...It’s not that I’m... not... fond of you-”
“Save it for a rainy day.” You grin. “I think you’ve had your fill of emotions for the night.”
He nods and eventually slips into sleep with his head on your chest, no doubt lulled by your heartbeat.
With tearful eyes, you stare back into the fire.
Time
Time marched from the stunned group the same way a parent does after making a scathing remark instead of a lecture.
You know the one. 
“I’m not mad. Just disappointed.”
The poor boys suddenly didn’t know what to so with themselves or how to get back into Time’s good graces.
You felt for them and their awkward meandering through the camp. So, with your pride swallowed, you follow in the vague direction where Time went off to and decided to at least talk him down.
He is... decidedly harder to find than you previous imagined.
Just as your starting to think the Old Man doesn’t want to be found, you hear subtle swing. It’s to your left and it sounds heavy.
So naturally you follow it
Which leads you to a small clearing just beyond a bunch of bushes.
Time is there, full armor still on and swinging his giant sword forcefully, each swing stronger than the last. It’s as if it weighs only as much as Four. You’ve wondered in the past what it would like if he decided to actually throw the smallest ones of the group but out of fear, do not voice your ideas.
Just because Time won’t doesn’t mean that the others won’t try.
It’s hard being the responsible one when there are nine Links to take care of, each as much as a gremlin as the last. It must be hell on Time’s back to carry the group.
You see where he’s coming from and yet...
“You can stand to be a little more patient with them.” 
The words are out of your mouth before you can actually stop them.
Time stops abruptly, in both the figurative and literal sense, before the man turns to you with that same face of neutral disappointment.
“They are heroes.”
“They are also children, Time. I think that it’s because they are heroes that they deserve to act their age every now and then.”
“Slacking won’t divert the evil away from our home.”
“Running face first into the problem won’t solve it either.” You sigh and walk up the man. He tenses as you approach and slowly lets his weapon down. The Hero of Time is an intimidating creature but you refuse to let that dissuade you.
“Look, I know why you’re upset. I get it. It’s hard to get a job done when you feel like you’re the only one it’s important to... But have a little faith in our group. Please.” You plead and stop right in front of him. You have to look up at him slightly due to the angle but he was forced to acknowledge you here.
His arms cross and he opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off.
“You’re right, they are heroes and there is a job to be done and an evil to be done away with. But they were even younger when they earned the title. They still vanquished the darkness even for their age. You have to trust that they will do the same here.” You reach up and put your hands on his shoulders, getting onto your tip toes to look him in the eye better. “And they will. Because they are heroes. Because they have the spirit of courage. Because they are Link... Just like you.”
He softens his stance ever so slightly but he still doesn’t look pleased.
“It’s not easy I know.” You get down again. “But they look up to you. I think all of them do. And I can’t stand to see how hurt they look when you get upset when they act their age. It’s not like they can help it.”
He takes a deep breath and uncrossed his arms. He takes a minute to respond. Time stared at you intensely before he drops all the tension in his body and finally lets his weapon go. A single hand comes up to pat your head. 
“Let’s head back to camp.”
He says nothing else and continues to walk past you and back the way you came.
You don’t ignore the sense of accomplishment and refuse to dampen it when you catch the tiniest slivers of a smile before he turns away from you completely.
Wind
You’re lying peacefully on the dirt when you hear someone sit beside you with more power than would ever be needed.
You don’t open your eyes for the sake of the other person, not really thinking much of it and even forgetting that they were there until you heard the smallest of sniffles.
Now, you’re sitting straight up with wide and concerned eyes locking directly onto the crying form of your beloved pirate. 
It’s hard not to feel for him and while you’re not sure what sprung this up, you don’t have it in you to turn him away, or to ignore that he was upset.
Neither of you say anything and you’re almost afraid it make the picture in front of you a little too real.
Instead, you move yourself closer to him and open up your arms.
Wind doesn’t hesitate to throw himself onto you and let his body sag with unwanted emotion.
As sobs silently rack his body, you begin to feel yourself rock back and forth for both his comfort and yours. Soon you start running your hands through his hair and rub small circles on his back. 
He cries for a long time and never once gives you a clue why.
You don’t ask either.
Still, once the moment has passed, you continue to hold onto him. He doesn’t make any moves to let go of you any time soon and you’re happy to be there for as long as he’ll let you.
That doesn’t stifle your concern over the cause but you’re loath to bring it up.
Minutes pass with the boy in your arms and it’s only when you shift positions, does he look up at your face. His eyes aren’t as red anymore with the amount of time that’s passes since he’s stopped crying but his face is still a little puffy and his cheeks are both stained in tears and incredibly red.
A small smile creeps onto your face when you look back at him. “Feel better?”
“A little.” He admits and sniffles the last of the tears away, wiping his face with his sleeve. “Thanks.”
“For you? Anytime.”
Warrior
It struck you as odd that it was dinner time the group seemed to be missing someone.
Earlier that day the group had split up to take down some troublesome monsters on the border of some tiny town defenseless town and that was that.
It didn’t seem like big deal nor was it a particularly hard thing to do. The monsters weren’t infected and they didn’t have numbers on their side so your group took care of the pests in a matter of moments.
And yet, when everyone regrouped there was a visible tension.
Some thing had happened on the other side of the fight and no one wanted to fess up, even less so when Time mentioned it.
It worried you.
Now, as it stood the tension was still there but Warrior didn’t want to come out of the wood work.  He had left earlier claiming to need to check up on his appearance and no one had questioned him. No one offered to go with him.
It was always dangerous to go alone.
“Hey, has anyone seen Warrior?” You glance around again, hoping it was just a miscount on your part. “It’s been awhile since he left.”
“He takes his sweet time.” Legend snapped. “And you know how narcissistic he is. He’s probably trying to get every single little hair in the right place and working out every little blemish in his stupid uniform-”
“I’m going to look to him.” You stand, placing your cooling food down by your foot. You don’t know what happened or what caused it but at least an idea begins to form. “It’s been too long regardless. Keep my food warm for me, yeah?”
You don’t wait for a response and walk away into the tree line where you think Warrior might be.
“It’s getting dark. Be careful.” Someone calls from behind you, mouth clearly full of food.
“Yes sir.” You reply.
You march on.
When you’re sure you’re far enough away, you begin to call out to Warrior.
It takes a minute to get any results but you’re starting to worry about your friend. The sun is lowering in the horizon as time goes by and you’re beginning to feel silly and frustrated and-
“I’m here.” A tired voice replies.
“Oh thank goodness.” You cross the distance between you two. “I was really starting to worry.”
Warrior puts on a brave face and a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes greets you when you stop in front of him. His look a little puffy and you think his eyes might be a little red but it easily be the lighting- or lack there of.
“Are you ok?”
“Obviously.”
You doubt him and it must have shown on your face because he immediately begins walking away. “Well look at the time. Crazy how fast the sun goes. Let’s get back to the group and eat. I’m starving-”
You grab his wrist as he pasts you and get a good look at him. “Are you ready to go back to the group? They can wait a little longer if you want them too.”
It irritated you that it’s come to this. How no one went to check on him. How no one offered to go with you. How no one seemed bothered by this. How long that he was alone dealing with something that’s been bothering him. How it took you so long to do something.  
“No. It’s fine.” He says. Lying. It must have really bothered him, usually he’s better than this. “It’s about time to head back anyway.”
“They can wait.” Your grip tightens. “The sun can wait. We’re not obligated to be there. What’s wrong? ...If you want to talk about it that is...” You trail off uselessly. It only occurred to you that near the end that he may not even speak about with you. You weren’t the closest in terms of grouping but you can’t stand the thought of someone hurting alone.
“I’m fin-”
“You look like you were crying.” You cut him off. “If you don’t want to talk about it with me, that’s fine, just say it. But you might need more time before you head back anyway if you actually want them to believe you when you say you’re fine.”
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.
“Warrior?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.”
“If it bothers you then it’s not nothing.”  You push. “But....fine. I won’t force you to talk to me. I just wanted to see if you were ok... You’re not but it’s better than seeing you bleeding I suppose.” You grit your teeth, annoyed by the lack of results. You did tell him that he didn’t have to talk to you and you don’t hurt him further but part of you wants to fix this. Even if you don’t know what it is, your heart calls for justice at his pain.
But he is unwilling.
“Camp is this way by the way.” You mention, looking at the ground. “You were actually farther away than I thought, so it’s a bit of a walk.”
“I just think it’s easier for people when I’m not around.”
You still and slowly turn to face him. 
He’s looking at the ground as well, unable to say it and look you in the eye. It’s not what you were expecting and you’re not sure how to follow after that.
It’s a rare moment of vulnerability for him- even rarer that he’s showing it to you and you don’t want to squander the show of trust.
“Back home...there was a lot of... attention on me. A lot of blame... for starting the war. Or at least being the cause of it.” He admits, scuffing his shoe against the dirt. A little bit kicks up and sticks to the toe. He does nothing about it. “People listened to what I had to say because I was some destined hero. At first I didn’t think anything of it because I had thought it was one big mistake and sooner or later people were going to see that I was just some soldier not worth the time of day. It happened to be pure luck that Impa got it right when she gave me this uniform. Zelda made me a captain because of it and suddenly I had all of these men I had to give orders to. And if anything failed or if we lost, it would all have fallen on me. The blame, the guilt, the responsibility of the war...and then we found out why Cia was even opening these portals to begin with-”
You hug him.
“Please don’t cry.” You say into his chest. Your throat is tight and it a little hard to breath but you power through. “I’m not good at this. I never have been.”
“I’m not going to cry. It’s not worth crying.”
“I’ll cry for you then.” You admit and hug him tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It was no ones fault.” Warrior hugs you back and rests his head on top of yours. His voice seems a little tight too and you’re sorry for all the things that he must have gone through. 
You hug him for as long as you deem appropriate before letting your arms go lack and stepping away.
Or... at least you try to.
Warrior suddenly has a grip on you and refuses to let you leave.
“Please... Just stay a little longer.”
You do.
309 notes · View notes
sourholland · 4 years
Note
Ooooh angst “what about us?” “there is no us, there never was.” with tom plssss! Really love ur work 🌸
Last Kiss || Tom Holland
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Summary → After a fling you and Tom had started while filming a movie together, he tells you that you two can’t be together anymore. Once you get home, Tom let’s you know that he made a mistake.
AN → This was supposed to come out yesterday, I just got lazy and waited to edit it. I can’t tell if I like how this came out or hate it, either way, I hope you guys like this. Also in honor of the Fearless re-record!!
Pairing(s) → Tom Holland x Fem!Reader
Warnings → Strong Language, Suggestive, Alcohol Use
Prompt(s) → 38
Word Count → 1.9k
The ringing of your phone sounded through your apartment loudly, the sound of the rain pattering loudly against the windows out-looking New York City. You set down the remote, feet padding against the cold hardwood while you looked for your buzzing cellphone.
You didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID, picking it up bringing it to your ear all in one quick motion.
“Hello?” You said, pulling a wine glass down from the cabinet.
“Y/N?” Tom’s voice came through the phone.
Your heart dropped, a breath catching in your throat while you stood in your kitchen. He was across the country, wanting nothing to do with you. He repeated your name through the phone, asking if you were there.
“Yeah, I’m here,” you answered, pouring more wine than you’d originally intended into the glass.
“Isn’t it like one in the morning in England?” You asked, listening to the muffles coming through the speaker.
“Yeah—yeah, it’s late here. I just couldn’t sleep, and I started to think of you. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have called.”
You sat at one of the barstools, swirling the red contents of the glass around. You wanted to yell at him, or maybe you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You sat silently for a few moments, bare legs cold from the draft.
“Tom,” you started. “I just don’t get why we have to rehash the past, you know? I came back to New York, just like you told me I should. You’re working on whatever new movie, I’m doing the same. I don’t know—I just think we should leave whatever happened between us alone. You made it very clear that it was me that you didn’t want,” you mumbled, pulling at the sleeves of your sweater.
He audibly sighed, the ruffling of sheets coming through the phone. He was probably in bed, if he wasn’t so far away you’d have asked him if this was a sad attempt at getting you to sleep with him.
“I was fucking stupid, and I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry, I’ve said that a million times,” his voice was hoarse and tired.
“I’ve already forgiven you, Tom. I just can’t keep doing this—this thing with you.”
You both went quiet for a minute, the only sound being the noise from outside in the bustling streets of the city and the rain. You knew you should hang up, block his number and forget about anything you two ever had. You’d tried a few times, unable to bring yourself to doing it.
“What about us?” He asked lowly, a twinge of hurt in his tired voice.
“There is no us, Tom,” you replied. “I’m not even sure there ever was.”
He didn’t say anything, you wanted to let out the repressed cry and tell him you didn’t mean it. That you were sorry and that you thought about him more than you’d like to admit. Something in you knew if you didn’t do your best to cut it off, you two would continue down the same everlasting cycle.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay.”
The line went silent for a moment, and then your home screen lit up. The call had been ended. You downed the remainder of your wine, ditching the cup and just going for the bottle. You thought about calling him back, about apologizing and booking a plane ticket like some lovesick teenager.
You opened Instagram and began scrolling through your feed of posts, liking and commenting occasionally. You weren’t anywhere near drunk, merely tipsy and heartbroken. Your finger lingered on the button to go live, wondering if you really wanted thousands of people to see you in this state.
You left the kitchen and instead propped your phone against the couch, taking a seat on the white rug of your living room. You wearily pressed the go live button, raising the bottle to your chapped lips once more. You are pathetic, you thought.
“Hey guys!” You smiled at the camera and outpouring of greetings in the comments. Within a few minutes you’d racked in a few thousand viewers. You grabbed the guitar sitting against your wall and strummed the cords lightly while it sat in your lap.
userone: you are so adorable
usertwo: can you please say hi?!!!??
userthree: it’s my birthday y/n!
“I’m sorry I haven’t been very active on social media, guys. It’s been super crazy traveling back and forth from London to New York and then having to leave again in a few weeks. And now I’m sitting on my living room floor with a bottle of wine,” you laughed. A few familiar people popped into the comments of the live, some you’ve worked with and some you’ve yet to meet in person.
florencepugh: y/n!!!
gracieabrams: might just bust out the wine just for u
“Florence, I can’t wait to see you soon!” You smiled, “Gracie, I swear it’s making everything like a hundred times better.”
userfour: i’m in love with her
userfive: y/n saving 2021???!!!
“I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be singing,” you flushed. You did sing, before getting into acting you’d post a lot on Instagram and TikTok. It’d always been more of a hobby, something you loved to do, but weren’t good enough to pursue.
“I’ve had a little too much to drink,” you added. “So don’t get upset if I’m a little pitchy, guys.”
usersix: if she’s pitchy i’m not sure what i am
userseven: sing taylor swift!!!
“Okay, okay!” You chuckled, scrolling through the hundreds of comments saying to play Taylor Swift. You’d only just been crying to like three of her albums a few hours before.
“How about the chorus—and maybe the bridge too, yeah, that’ll work,” you mumbled to yourself, fiddling with the strings. “Alright, guys, Last Kiss it is. I won’t bore you all with the whole thing, though. I could never do Taylor justice.”
“And I’ll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes”
Getting involved with him was singlehandedly the most stupid decision you’ve ever made, you thought. Late nights in his flat after long nights on set, ordering in and just talking, you two would talk as if you’d known each other your whole lives. It was something about the way he’d let you wear his clothes, or the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear while you told him about whatever insignificant thing that had happened that day.
“All that I know,
I don’t know how to be something you miss”
The car ride to the airport was the worst, it was grey and cold outside. There was makeup running down your face, mascara covering your eyes generously. You’d wrapped filming a week earlier, unable to bring yourself to walk away from him.
You couldn’t tell the driver to turn you around, or could you? Tom had already made it clear that you were both in different places in your career. This wasn’t what he wanted. You weren’t what he wanted.
“I never thought we’d have our last kiss”
He had held you just a little tighter, you ran your fingers through his hair for just a second longer. The taste of each other lingering on the both of your lips. Like you knew it would be the last time he’d hold you without knowing.
His stupid smiled, the way he pulled away and ran his thumb over your swollen bottom lip. You were almost wrapped around his finger, absolutely sickened with desire and infatuation for him.
“I never imagined we’d end like this,
Your name, forever the name on my lips”
The day you’d left to come home to New York started with a huge argument between the two of you. He’d basically just told you that you’d both known from the beginning you wouldn’t last together. It wasn’t a matter of how much you cared for one another, but that it was impossible, as he put it.
His eyes glossed over and bloodshot, you a complete and utter mess. Slamming the door behind you as you left was one of the most painful things you’d ever endured. Even more painful, the fact that he never came after you.
“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep”
“I can feel you staring at me, love,” he murmured against the pillow.
Your face heated, eyes averting to the stream of light through the sheerness of the curtains. He leaned into you a moment later, his lips soft on your own. He was warm, he was always so warm. You cupped the side of his face gently, pulling him in a bit harder.
“And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”
You dropped your bags, stepping into your apartment after months of being away. It felt quieter than usual, desolate and empty from your being away. It was dark out, the illumination of the bright city lights from your windows.
You glanced down at your phone for a moment, not a missed call, not a text, not even a fucking notification. He’d simply told you to go home, nothing more nothing less.
“I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are,
Hope it’s nice where you are”
You’d texted Harrison a few times, regretting it almost immediately after. He was sweet, telling you that Tom would come around eventually and to just be patient. You’d relied on those kind words for some time, eventually deleting them all together.
After Tom’s first text, you’d realized he wasn’t coming around or regretting what he’d said to you. He was lonely, maybe even a bit desperate. For months you had been there to listen to him and hold him, and now you were gone.
You’d fed into it the first few times, sitting on the phone with him for hours at a time. Then you started to feel worse hearing his voice, silent sobs escaping as you’d listen to him ramble. Then your finger would linger over the decline button a little longer than usual when he’d call, until eventually you started to use it.
“And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day,
And something reminds you,
You wish you had stayed”
Once you started to go out with other guys, Tom’s ‘I miss you’ texts became more infrequent. Paparazzi would snap pictures, and the next morning they’d be plastered all over the internet.
There was no doubt he was seeing you going out with other people, watching article after article about who you were dating surface. Would he be jealous? No, you thought. Tom was probably doing the same thing as you. Hopeless hookups, meaningless blind dates.
“You can plan for a change in the weather and time”
One early morning, you found yourself in a sweatshirt you’d stolen from one of his drawers and forgotten to return. Listening to the morning rush of traffic and hugging yourself, noticing the lingering smell of his cologne.
You wondered if he knew you’d taken it, if he would think you were pathetic wearing it months after you two had broken things off. This only made you clutch yourself a little tighter, closing your eyes and trying to remember.
“But I never planned on you changing your mind”
403 notes · View notes
esamastation · 4 years
Text
Somehow it leaks into the press that Cloud Strife is the bastard son of Late President ShinRa. Unrelated, the news is Vincent Valentine being the biological father of General Sephiroth also makes it into the news.
It begins with a news article.
It's nothing too shocking, at first. Old ShinRa scandals are gil-a-dozen now, with investigative reporters digging them up on particularly boring news cycles to shock and horrify the masses with all the terrible things that had been going on right under their noses. This week it's detail on all the cloning business, all about Jenova, the SOLDIER project, mako. That week it's about the countless people died in various human trials, be they medicine, materia or weapons. That week it's the waste of resources, how much money was wasted on useless, ridiculous projects for no other reason than because ShinRa had the money to spend.
There's always something new and thrilling to be dug up in the grave of ShinRa to entertain the masses and so it's become kind of mundane. You can only shock and awe people with the crimes of a select group of people so many times in a row before it becomes, more or less… mundane. And this article had seemed more of the same.
Affairs, Bastards and Coverups – the numerous scandals of the ShinRa Elite!
Cloud scanned the first lines of the article and then dismissed it. Some reporter has compiled months worth of data and stolen documents concerning the personal lives of the Shinra family the various heads of department – and it turned out that they were living it up in the lap of luxury, cheating on their spouses, having secret love children, covering them up with money and non-disclosure forms, oh my. It's nothing new – everyone knew the President had mistresses and bastards in every ShinRa town, and it's not surprising the others followed suit.
At least it wasn't yet another secret ShinRa super weapon about to kill them all, Cloud thinks, moves to throw the whole paper aside, when sub header further down the article catches his eye. At first he doesn't quite understand it – he sees his name in the papers plenty, and maybe it's a mistake, maybe it's something unrelated – maybe he misread… but no.
Cloud Strife – or is it Cloud Shinra?
Then, then he stops to read it the article in full – and what do you know, it does have some surprises after all. And not, it turns out, just for him.
-
Vincent announces his arrival by grinding gravel under his metal heel – and by pressing a cool beer can against Cloud's shoulder in silent offering.
Ah, Cloud thinks, and accepts it. "You knew?"
"Suspected it," Vincent agrees and sits beside him on the cliff, overlooking Edge and the Ruins of Midgar. He's holding the paper in hand. "There's a family resemblance."
Cloud hums and opens the can, reaching the paper. It's open on the Article, of course it is – Vincent has even highlighted sections of it. "Family resemblance," Cloud repeats, running a thumb over the underlines – pressed in hard with a ballpoint pen. "I don't know – definitely didn't inherit the old bastard's chin."
Vincent hums. "You and Rufus. There was also another Shinra bastard in company employment with files left – Lazard Deusericus. You all have very similar features."
Cloud frowns a little at that, trying to remember – but if he ever met Lazard, it's not coming to him. Zack might've known the guy, but… most of those memories were faded now. "Well," he says and turns the page to the second section of the article – dedicated entirely to the family drama of Professor Hojo, and the Child Stolen – Sephiroth.
How the reporter had found out so much about Vincent, Cloud has no idea, but they had his whole career as a Turk down – right down to his disappearance under mysterious circumstances in Nibelheim, and his resurface as one of the Heroes who Saved the Planet, decades later.
Of course, Cloud's crew has been in the public eye long enough that none of their lives are secret anymore – everything that could be found out about them had been by this point, and that included the mystery of Vincent Valentine, as well as Nanaki's history and Yuffie's royal heritage. So maybe it's not that big of a surprise, that people figured out the rest of it.
They hadn't done enough try to hide their histories, Cloud muses. They hadn't realised that it might be something they should do – not until it was too late.
"You don't seem surprised either," Vincent points out, glancing at the paper, and the picture of young Sephiroth on it.
"You ever see Sephiroth standing beside Hojo? Definitely no family resemblance there," Cloud muses, giving him a look. "Sephiroth was always too pretty to be Hojo's kid."
Vincent looks away, blowing out a slow breath into his scarf. Cloud takes a drink of the beer and then reads the pertinent lines again.
Really, what's most surprising about the whole damned thing is how surprising it still manages to be. None of this really matters anymore. ShinRa family is all but gone, Rufus is pretty much powerless, Sephiroth is trice-over-dead, even Hojo is properly back in his grave, and none of this actually affects anything anymore. They all had some suspicion, before, they all had some theories, so it's not a shock. Except that it is and it does affect things.
"The things we could've done," Cloud mutters wryly, shaking his head. "If only we'd known."
"Hmph," Vincent answers and relaxes a little. "It likely wouldn't have changed things. Not unless we had known… years before."
"Yeah, and even then I doubt ShinRa would've much cared, considering how those assholes went about dealing with their bastards," Cloud says and drops the paper in between them. "I probably would've gotten shot – and you did get shot."
"I did get shot," Vincent agrees. "I suppose it makes more sense now. Why he didn't… really, kill me."
Cloud grimaces at that and takes another drink. Yeah – Hojo could get rid of obstacles without qualms and not think about it twice, but what he did to Vincent, oh, that was personal wasn't it? It was probably revenge – and not just for loving the woman Hojo had wanted, but being the father of the son Hojo had coveted. And how like Hojo, to have a loose end of that magnitude, and then just… drop it, when it stopped entertaining him.
Maybe it'd been the same with Cloud – and Zack. They got their taste of Hojo's personal interest for daring to kill Sephiroth, and then Hojo dropped them too and moved onto whatever else interested him. It's been years now, and Cloud dares to think he's mostly over it, but thinking about it now… Had Hojo known about his relation to the Shinra family – had he cared? Had it made the whole thing that much more fun for the asshole, did he get some sadistic delight in tearing into his boss' progeny?
"Yeah," Cloud muses and lets out a quiet, smothered belch. "I don't know about you, but I really could've done without this knowledge."
Vincent hums in answer. "Truth is neither good or bad. It simply is," he says. "It is always better to know, than to wallow in ignorance."
Cloud makes a face and glances at him. "Speaking of wallowing, how personally are you taking this?" he asks then, looking him up and down. Vincent has the tendency of drowning in guilt and blaming himself, and this, as little as it changes things, as much as it morbidly just amuses Cloud…
Finding you're the bastard son of a dead rich guy is one thing – finding out you had a son and were part of killing said son, several times now, that's something else.
Vincent looks down and says nothing for a long, windswept moment. "Very," he says finally and shakes his head. "How else can I take it?"
"You must've suspected," Cloud says and then grimaces – shouldn't have said that.
"Well," Vincent answers, his voice dipping lower, almost inaudible. "I must have."
Cloud sighs and then reaches one hand over, rubbing it up and down along Vincent’s tense back, fingers snagging on belts through the ragged cape. "I'm sorry, Vincent," he says. "Really, sincerely sorry."
Vincent says nothing, but he doesn't move away from the touch, which for him is the same as leaning into someone's shoulder and wailing out in grief. Cloud lowers the can he's holding and then releases a sigh. The whole thing blows, really, and it changes nothing – just another scandal for people to be entertained by. Another horror to add into their ever growing collection.
But it's something to imagine it – if Vincent had known, if he could've done something about it. Half of the whole mess was the hellish upbringing Sephiroth got in Hojo's hands – if something had interrupted that, if someone, anyone, would've interfered, then maybe, just maybe... Cloud's relation probably wouldn't have mattered much, he was just one ShinRa bastard among many, but if Sephiroth got an actual loving upbringing… who knows.
Maybe the guy wouldn’t have gone megalomaniacal world ending monster on all of them. Who knows.
-
tentatively dipping my toes in the waters of ff7... it’s been a while, i don’t even know if i know how to write these guys anymore
356 notes · View notes
weelittleweasley · 4 years
Text
may i sit? (h.p.)
prompt requested by @oh-no-whoopsie: from what you were taught, slytherins and gryffindors weren’t supposed to get along, much to your dismay. a certain gryffindor had caught your eye and you desperately wanted him to know who you were. when you are having a bad day, you receive comfort from an unexpected guest...
pairing: harry potter x fem! slytherin reader
warnings: crying, anxiety, isolation, loneliness
word count: 2.4k
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It was never explained to you as a first year student, but you had always followed the unspoken rule that Slytherins and Gryffindors had a merciless rivalry. You feared being ostracized by your house if you were to befriend a Gryffindor that someone had a vendetta against, so instead you focused on maintaining friendships within your house. This way, there was no risk of being outcast and strengthened the relationships with those who were similar in personalities to you.
However, you did feel like your lack of interaction with some Gryffindors made you miss out on exciting experiences. Since you were friendly with the Weasleys, you didn’t get invited to common room parties that they threw, you didn’t get invited to study sessions with Granger in the library, you didn’t hang out in the courtyards with Longbottom. You just stuck to your non-Gryffindor friends and hoped that it would be enough. 
But you did find days where you would longingly find yourself watching as Hermione Granger looped her arm with Harry Potter’s, throwing her head back in laughter at something he had said in passing. He would lightly smile as he watched his best friend laugh before shaking his head and rolling his eyes. His eyes...what would it be like to stare into those beautiful green eyes...
Only problem was when Harry did catch your eyes, your cheeks flushed a bright crimson red as you darted you gaze away from him. It was like it felt wrong to look at him. If someone caught you stealing longing glances at him, that they would tell everyone else in Slytherin house and that would be the breaking point. 
So instead of letting yourself look at him and him to you, you would bury your head into some other business and brush aside the thoughts that crept into your mind of what it would be like for the Chosen One to speak your name on his lips. 
You thought it was silly for you to have a crush on Potter. First of all, majority of your house didn’t like the boy at all. In fact, they found him arrogant and self-absorbed, and immature. Secondly, you had little to no interaction with him through out your five years with him at Hogwarts. Maybe once you bumped into him at the library and muttered a sorry to each other, but nothing more. No real conversations. Even though you craved to know more about him than just general knowledge, you would remind yourself that it wasn’t in Slytherins’ nature to befriend Gryffindors. 
And again the cycle continued of being with your non-Gryffindor friends, watching Gryffindors’ friendships blossom, daydream of what could be, sigh over Harry Potter, distract yourself from Harry Potter, and repeat. 
It became exhausting at times. Constantly having to tell yourself no to something that you really wanted. Something that you knew you would enjoy. You knew that you would get along well with people like the Weasleys and Granger and Potter and Thomas and Longbottom. It didn’t matter that your house was different from theirs. But the fear of not being accepted by your own house consumed you to the part where it would drive you to tears on occasion.
Loneliness was always a fear of yours. You had always liked to surround yourself with people you loved, friends, family, or both. It was their presence that made you feel warm and comforted. But some days, it was hard to not feel alone. There were days where you wished your house wasn’t so competitive or pretentious. You wished that your house could let down its guard and actually enjoy school for what it was rather than view it as a jungle, a competition. Hunter and prey. Keeping up with it all was exhausting and you were exhausted to say the least.
Wallowing in your pity, you found a small bench in the outdoor hallways of Hogwarts, knees pulled up to your chest as you rested your back against the concrete wall, the cool temperature calming your warm body. You sniffled and wiped small tears that fell from your eyes as you cried quietly to yourself.
You loved your Slytherin house friends, you really did. They were fiercely loyal to you and would defend you at the drop of a hat. They were funny and witty and charming and intelligent and you loved being around them. But sometimes, you wished that they would be more open to the idea of being around new people. People who were different in nature, but majority of them protested. Pansy would always argue, “We have everything we need in each other, (Y/N). Why would we go out and make friends with others when we are perfectly fine on our own?” She earned the nods of a few heads as you sighed in defeat.
Maybe to see what being with others with different interests and wants and desires in life would be refreshing. Being around Gryffindors could bring a new sense of excitement into your life. It could be good; a change. A new start. 
But that wasn’t realistic. You knew that if you became friends with a Gryffindor secretly, your friends would give you hell for it. They would implore you on why you needed someone else, a Gryffindor, as a friend. Especially if it were someone like-
“Are you alright?” a voice interrupts your thoughts as you sniffle and look in the direction of the voice.
Standing a little down the hall a couple feet away was the boy with those captivating green eyes. Harry Potter wore a concerned expression on his face as he watched you wipe away the tears that gently fell from your eyes. His green eyes stared into yours, hoping that you would answer him. 
Your heart beats a little quicker at the sight of him and you blinked a few times to make sure this wasn’t some sort of hallucination or prank being pulled on you. Quickly snapping out of it, you spoke, “Yeah, yeah,” wiping your eyes, “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Harry took a few steps closer to you, very cautiously as to not make you skittish. He knew that his presence could make some people wary or uncomfortable, so he tried to approach the situation of an already crying girl very carefully. “You sure?” he implores. “I don’t like seeing people alone. Especially if they’re upset...”
His concern for you was endearing, especially since you had barely spoken to each other before. You wipe your nose on the cuff of your jumper as you shake your head. “It’s alright. I’m used to it at this point, I guess,” you shrug, the words falling from your mouth as Harry gives you a concerned look. You did this often? his eyes seemed to ask as you shook your head. “Not like that,” you let out a light laugh. “I guess I’m just...” you start before realizing who you’re talking to. With a gulp and a look at him, you shake your head, “Never mind, it’s not important anyway.”
Before you can rise from the bench to excuse yourself to go to the Slytherin common room and pull yourself together, Harry stops you. “You don’t have to go,” Harry sticks his hands out, preventing you from rising. “I mean, I’m the one who interrupted you, I should be going,” he insists as you give him a small smile. “But I can assure you, whatever you were upset about isn’t something to brush off if it made you sad enough to cry,” he gives you a sad smile. 
You sigh and shake your head. “You’re right,” you admit with a surrendering smile as Harry returns one. “But you don’t need to leave either. This isn’t my hallway,” you joke as he gives you another smile.
The two of you watch each other for a moment, in silence, taking the other in. Harry notices how he’s seen you around a few times and maybe chatted to you before, but didn’t know you well enough to strike up conversation. But for some reason, Harry felt compelled to sit and talk with you tonight. It was like he was supposed to stumble upon you like this. Harry clears his throat. “May I sit?” he asks quietly.
Your heart flutters and an involuntary smile appears on your cheeks as you nod your head. “Of course,” you scoot over on the bench so Harry can sit next to you comfortably. 
Harry takes the spot next to you with a smile and turns toward you as you lean back on the concrete wall. “I’ve seen you around before, but I don’t think I know your name,” he speaks. “I’m Harry,” he extends his hands to you, offering a shake.
With a small smile, you accept his gesture. “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you, Harry,” you tell him as he nods. “You don’t have to feel obligated to sit with me because you walked in on me crying though,” you try to excuse him, but Harry profusely shakes his head.
“No, no, no,” he speaks. “I want to make sure you’re not alone. In case you need someone to talk to...” he offers as you give him a sad smile. “We don’t need to talk if you don’t want to though. I can sit here and you can talk and I can listen. Or you don’t need to talk and I can distract you. Or we can just sit here until you feel better,” he gives you a happy smile.
Could the boy be any more perfect? You practically swooned at his words, he was so thoughtful to someone he had literally just formally met seconds ago. And yet he was so kind and gentle with you. The thought alone of him wanting to be there for you was overwhelmingly genuine. For someone with as much status and popularity as Harry, you didn’t expect him to be so down to Earth. 
You quietly thank Harry as he nods, understanding completely. The two fo you sit in silence for a little while as you collect your thoughts, feelings, and emotions before sighing. “I guess,” you start. “I feel a little lonely sometimes,” you admit to the Gryffindor. Harry nods his head, completely understanding. “I have great friends and a wonderful family,” you tell him, “but sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I’m so lonely here.” Harry hangs onto every word that comes out of your mouth, intently listening to what you have to say. “I do like being a Slytherin. Both of my parents were,” you tell him. “But I want to branch out and be friends with other people who aren’t Slytherin.”
Harry gives you a puzzled look. “What’s holding you back?” he asks.
Sighing, you speak, “I know that not all Slytherins are fond of other houses. Especially Gryffindors,” you look at Harry who just chuckles. “I fear that if I do become friends with others, especially Gryffindors, I’ll be ostracized by my friends in Slytherin,” you confide in him.
Harry shakes his head and sighs. He understood in a way about what you were going through. The pressure could be a lot for someone and he hated the look on your face as you expressed your situation to him. Harry wished he could make things better, he really wanted to. “Can I give you a bit of advice?” he speaks as you nod. “Let’s say you do become friends with a Gryffindor,” he says, “and your Slytherin friends do that to you,” he continues as you clench at his words, “and I’m not saying they will,” he retaliates before continuing, “but if they do...(Y/N), those people aren’t your friends.” Harry gives you a soft look as you sigh, knowing that he had a point. “Friends don’t come along with terms and conditions,” he speaks. “They are friends. They are supposed to support you. Not support you when it suits their best interest.”
His words were very true and carried a wise beyond his years weight. But it was illuminating to you in a way you didn’t think of before. His insight was much needed. “You’re right, Harry,” you sigh as he smiles, his advice succeeding in bringing you clarity. “Thank you.”
He beams, “Surely.” You lightly chuckle. “With all that being said,” he starts. “I hope you know that we can surely be friends, (Y/N).” Your eyes widen and mouth lightly falls open. He wanted to be friends? Was this a sympathy move or did he genuinely want to get to know you? “I hope you don’t think I’m saying any of it because of the circumstances,” he clarifies, “I think you’re lovely.”
Your cheeks slowly burn as a smile inches its way onto your lips. He thinks I’m lovely. His kind words mean more to you than he’ll ever know. You give him a shy look before accepting, “I’d like to be friends, too, Harry.”
Harry smiles and for a moment, you think there’s a similar rosy hue on his cheeks. “Brilliant,” he speaks quietly. Carefully, he places a hand on yours, “I’d like to be there for you, (Y/N). Whenever you need it.”
The contact of his skin on yours makes your stomach do a flip as you gulp, eyes glued on his hand placed delicately on yours. Slowly, you look up at Harry who pushes his glasses up on his face as they fall on the bridge of his nose. He was quite adorable, wasn’t he? “The same goes for you, Harry,” you tell him. “I’m here.”
You gently squeezed his hand as you saw him inhale deeply. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes, observed the way they flickered and the way the colors danced. Harry’s eyes felt comforting and familiar; like you trusted him already for some odd reason. But you relished in the feeling of this new found comfort. 
The two of you gently peeled your hands away from each other before Harry clears his throat. “Before I saw you, I was on the way to the kitchens to snag a snack for Ron and I. Would you like to join me?” he asks with a light smile.
Nodding your head with a smile, you speak, “Sounds like fun. Plus, I know where the house elves keep the fresh biscuits.”
Harry chuckles, “I think we’re going to be good friends, (Y/N).”
The two of you laugh and start making your way to the kitchens. But you had to agree with Harry. You had a really good feeling about this friendship.
516 notes · View notes
reidamancy · 4 years
Text
too late || spencer reid
summary: Spencer and you never got closure after you broke up. But hidden feelings and confessions reveal themselves when you’ve been abducted. Now Spencer is forced to analyze a voicemail you left for him to try and save you before it’s too late. (spencer reid x fem!reader)
category: angst
warnings: s2 spoilers, kidnapping, knife and gun usage, slight mentions of blood and drugs, plot holes, probably incorrect medical info
word count: 4.4k
a/n: this is my very first cm fic, and I’m completely new to the fandom so I hope there are still people out there who read cm fics lol
MASTERLIST
(part one | part two)
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Spencer’s POV
“Spencer?” Her voice breathed shakily through the voicemail.
Y/N. I recognized her voice immediately. For a split second I was filled with bliss just from the sound of her voice, but my heart dropped when I recognized the terror laced in her words.
She paused for a bit before continuing. “Hi, it’s me. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear from me right now,” She choked on a sob, but little did she know that was furthest from the truth. “But I didn’t know who else to call.” Another pause. 
I leaned forward in my seat, resting my arms on my desk while listening intently to the message. 
“I... I’m in trouble Spencer. I don’t know who he is. He took me from my car and brought me here. He made me call you because he knows,” She took a deep breath before letting out a sob. “He knows you will never save me in time.” By now, her voice came out as a squeak. My breath caught in my throat as my worst nightmare came true.
“No, Spencer, wait, please listen to me.” I shut my eyes and exhaled. I pinched the bridge of my nose; she must have had to pretended I answered the phone, and I wasn’t there when she needed me most.
She sniffled on the phone and continued.
“I don’t know how much time I have left... So I guess this is goodbye Spencer...” I felt my heart shatter as tears pricked my eyes. 
“When we met, I knew exactly where I was in life. But you, you changed that. You taught me so much, Spencer. I remember all the games we'd play when you were home.” Y/N paused as she left out a sigh. A sad smile crept on my face as I recalled our shared competitive nature and the countless games that sprung from it. I could only imagine her expression mirroring my own as she spoke. “You'd always win but I guess that's what happens when you play against Dr. Reid. I still think you forgot two dozen names just to let me win.” She let out a dry laugh. 
“The last time I saw you was on our anniversary, June 6. 9:30 on the dot. And then you abandoned me Spencer, you left me alone in the big, cold world.” She took a breath and I let out a small gasp when I heard the sound of a gun cocking in the background.
“I told myself I'd never forgive you, but the truth is I already have. I can't leave without you knowing that. Please save me, Spencer.” She whispered the last line before the phone was yanked out of her hands, evident by the small yelp and shuffling I heard, and the voicemail ended with a low growl saying, “You’ll never get here in time.”
The voicemail ended and the fear I felt from before melted into rage. I knew exactly what I had to do. Phone in hand, I marched straight into Hotch’s office.
Reader’s POV
The man snatched the phone out of my hands and quickly hung up on the call before redirecting his gun at me. He had it pointed at me the entire call and cocked it once he was getting impatient.
The worst part was he didn’t bother to hide his face. He had bound my arms and legs together, but never blinded me. I knew exactly where I was and who he was, which only meant one thing: I wasn’t getting out of here alive. 
My abductor shot at the ground and I let out a scream. “That was a bit long now, wasn’t it?” He sneered.
“You’re gonna kill me! I had to say goodbye properly!” I sobbed. 
It was partly true. What he didn’t know, however, was the fact that I had an FBI agent for an ex-boyfriend, and a genius one at that. I haven’t spoken to him in months, but I prayed that he would understand the hidden clues I left in the voicemail. I hated how this was our first interaction since our breakup, but I needed him now more than ever. 
I’ve wanted to call him countless times; it’s almost ironic that it took a literal kidnapping for me to finally do so. In the wake of our breakup, I found myself completely miserable. I missed everything about him, and I caught myself staring at his phone number on my screen numerous times, contemplating if I should actually call him or not. I wanted to, I really wanted to. I wanted to tell him how much I missed his voice, his touch, his love. But every happy memory we had would then be overshadowed by stronger memories of him snapping at me, being repulsed by my touch, and his mood swings. So I never got the courage to push the dial button. 
It was a never ending cycle. I’d want to call him; perhaps I wanted to try to fix things one more time. I knew something was wrong, maybe I could have done more to help him. But then I would realize I couldn’t help him unless he let me. So I’d always end up deleting the digits on my screen and hope he was doing okay. But days later I’d find myself punching in those exact digits once again, only to delete them minutes later. In time, I had memorized his number by heart, which is why it was almost instinctive to dial him today.
The fact that he was an FBI agent was the last thing on my mind when I pushed call. I just needed him, I needed Spencer. It felt wrong, after months without speaking I thought we had both moved on. But he was the first person I thought of when given an instrument to cry for help. And as soon as I heard his voicemail, as soon as I heard his voice, I realized I needed more than Dr. Reid. I needed Special Agent Reid.
I tried to remember everything I could from the few times Spencer would talk to me about his cases. If I could understand this unsub like he and his team could, maybe I could survive. But the more I remembered, the quicker I realized my chances of survival were slim. He’s way too confident for me to have been his first victim. He gave me the freedom to call whoever I wanted and say whatever I wanted, and he wouldn’t have done that if he knew he wouldn’t get caught. So the phone call must be part of his signature, but why? Why give that much freedom to his victims at all? Maybe he just likes to hear the pain in our voices when we say goodbye.
No, it has to be more than that. Right before I dialed Spencer, the man told me, “Make sure they answer.” And that’s when it hit me. He must take pleasure in knowing his victim’s loved ones are aware of what’s happening but can’t save them. He’s stripping them of their power to help, to save, their loved ones. I hope that isn’t the case for me. I didn’t want to call Spencer (okay, maybe deep down in my heart, I did), because he made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with me. But if anyone could save me, it was Spencer Reid.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when my abductor leaned in front of me, his putrid breath fanning over my face. I noticed his gun was now in his holster and one of his hands was behind his back. He slowly pulled it out to reveal a knife and he placed the blade against my arm. I winced as he put pressure against my skin, but not enough to draw blood.
“Now that... what was his name? Spencer?” He let out a low chuckle. “Now that Spencer knows you’re here, he’ll try to save you.” The unsub slowly dragged the knife up my arm, still not breaking the skin, and I let out a whimper. 
“He’ll tell the police, but they’ll be too late.” He taunted. “They always are.”
The man now used his knife to push hair out of my face. “While we wait... Let’s have some fun.” He sunk the knife into my shoulder and I let out a scream.
Spencer’s POV
As the case was presented to the team, I was paralyzed in my seat with the voicemail replaying over and over again in my head.
It’s me. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear from me right now.
I’ve been wanting to hear her voice for months, and when I finally do it’s because she was abducted. Even worse, she’s apologetic that she even has to call me. As if she’d ever have to apologize for speaking to me... 
“Reid?” Hotch’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
I looked up at him and he repeated himself. “Will you analyze the voicemail for clues on Y/N’s location?”
I silently nodded. He turned to JJ and whispered to her to stay with me. Everyone then dispersed to do everything they could to bring Y/N back.
“Kid, who is this?” Morgan stayed behind and questioned me.
“Hm?” I questioned innocently. 
“Look, she could have called anyone in the world, but she called you. And you obviously care for her or else you wouldn’t be so quiet right now. So who is she?” Derek displayed concern in his eyes.
I let out a sigh. JJ took a seat in front of me and Morgan leaned against the table. My eyes were fixated on my hands, which were in my lap. “Her name’s Y/N. She was the one who got away.” I heard my voice crack, but I didn’t care. JJ and Morgan looked at me with sorrow as they listened to me open up about the love of my life. 
“I met her at the library. She saw I was checking out a book about physics and she gushed about how it was her favorite subject. We went on for 20 minutes talking about the subject, and then she asked me out for coffee.” I bit my lip.
“We started dating for a few months and everything was perfect. She didn’t mind my work schedule, and she listened to all my rambles. Sometimes she even had some facts of her own to add.” I recalled all the times Y/N would add to my fact spews instead of shutting me down, and I couldn’t stop the smile resulted from the memories. “She was perfect. In every way.”
I took a deep breath as my love story took a sour turn. “But then I... I started to push her away. After Tobias Hankel I pushed everyone away, but Y/N got it the worst. I was a horrible boyfriend, but she never gave up on me. She never knew why I was acting that way, but eventually I pushed her too far. We broke up because she thought I hated her. But I don’t. I never did.” I trailed off, remembering fragments of the last fight we had. I cringed as I remembered how broken her voice was, and how I continued to tear her down. I wasn’t in my right mind. If I could go back, I’d never let her leave that door. But in hindsight, I don’t blame her for leaving.
I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks as Morgan rubbed my shoulder. JJ got up and hugged me. She lowered her face towards me and said, “We’re gonna save her, Spence. And when we do, you’re gonna tell her all of this.” She flashed me a kind smile.
“After I got off dilaudid, I realized I lost her, so I tried to get her back. I wanted to surprise her, so I went to the cafe we went to the day we met, and I saw her there. She was there with another guy... She had already moved on and I was too late. I never got to apologize to her.”
I didn't want to meddle in Y/N's new relationship. She had every right to move on. So I tried to as well. But it didn't hurt any less, especially since I never got to explain myself to her. I had accepted the fact that Y/N had moved on from me, but her voicemail gave me an ounce of hope. In the direst of circumstances I was the one she called. Perhaps it was because of my job, but I let myself hope that maybe I misread the situation. That man could have been a friend. And I could still have a chance.
But hope is a dangerous thing.
“Reid, I know this is hard. We all want to get Y/N back safe, but you’re the only one who can understand what she’s trying to tell us here. Think you can focus?” Morgan wanted to make sure my head was clear enough to analyze Y/N’s message. The truth was, I wasn’t sure.
But I nodded and played the voicemail again.
“June 6?” I repeated once the voicemail ended.
“Is that when the two of you met?” Morgan asked.
“No, that date doesn’t have any significance to us at all. June 6, 9:30? Why would she say that?” I wondered out loud as I wrote 6/6, 9:30 on the board. 
“Can you play it again?” I asked JJ.
When we met, I knew exactly where I was in life. 
“There right there, pause.” I knew that was a lie. “When we met, she was a graduate student but she didn’t know what to study. I helped her with that.”
“Okay, so she knows you can catch onto her lies. What is she trying to tell us?” JJ wondered out loud.
It was then that I realized what Y/N was doing. “This entire call is full of lies. She knew I’d catch onto them, but I don’t know what she’s saying.” 
Morgan jumped in, “Okay, so if you catch all of her lies, we’ll decode the message.” I nodded as JJ pressed play and I wrote down all the lies in the voicemail.
By the end of the call, my board looked like this:
6/6, 9:30
“knew where I was in life”
winning game - 2 dozen names?
“Okay, so what does this all mean, Reid?” Morgan asked. 
I stared at the board, trying to make a connection. “I don’t know...” I mumbled. I knew Y/N was trying to tell me something, and if I could figure it out I could save her. The thought gave me enough confidence to analyze her diction. “But did you hear the end of the call? She said I left her alone in the ‘big, cold world.’ It’s odd that she would describe it like that.”
“So she’s somewhere big and cold?” JJ chimed in.
“Probably...” I answered as I added to the board. 
“What about abandoned? Is that describing where she is or is this actually about your relationship?” Morgan asked.
“I don’t think she would use 'abandoned' to describe our relationship...” I bit my lip. I wouldn’t say I abandoned her, but I couldn’t help but wonder if that was how she actually felt. I cleared my throat. “That’s probably where she is. Big, cold, and abandoned.” 
“So what are we thinking, warehouse?” JJ inputted. 
Morgan nodded. “Okay, we’re getting somewhere. So does that mean when she said she knew exactly where she was in life, she meant she actually knew exactly where she was taken?”
“What about the game she talked about? What does that mean?” JJ asked.
“I never let her win any games, she insisted we both play fair and square.” I tried to think back to all the games we played. “She mentioned names... There was only one where we used names,” I held back a smile. “We were trying to see who would be the first to name all the U.S. presidents.”
Morgan and JJ looked at each other. “Why am I not surprised.” Morgan let out a small chuckle.
“But you forgot two dozen names?” JJ questioned.
“Two dozen is specific... and Reid doesn’t forget.” Morgan thought out loud.
I tried to remember more about the game. “I won that game. I was the first to put down my pencil and she teased me for it. But she wanted to finish her list so I’d give her clues to who she forgot... But there was one name she just couldn’t remember.”
“Two dozen... Did it happen to be the 24th president?” JJ wondered.
I let out a small smile. Clever girl. “Yeah, it was Grover Cleveland. The 24th president.”
I now looked at my new board, filled with new information.
6/6, 9:30
“knew where I was in life” am
winning game - 2 dozen names? ➝ Cleveland!
big, cold
abandoned
warehouse?
My head was swirling, trying to make sense of what Y/N gave me. My eyes darted up and down the board, trying to see her message. She knew where she was. She gave me a name, numbers...
“I got it!” I yelled. “It’s an address. She knew exactly where she was and she was trying to tell us! June 6, 9:30? 66930. Where’s Garcia? I bet there’s an abandoned building at 66930 Cleveland Street.”
Morgan raced out of the room to grab Garcia. Moments later she rushed into the room with her laptop and I hurriedly asked her, “Garcia, what is at 66930 Cleveland Street?”
Her fingers blazed across the keyboard then she shook her head. “No, I can’t find that address.”
JJ leaned towards the monitor. “Try Cleveland Road?”
Garcia shook her head once again, “Sorry my sweets, there’s no 66930 Cleveland Road either.”
She continued to clack at her keyboard, and moments later she lit up and said, “Wait, I see an abandoned warehouse at 6693 Cleveland Road!”
“It was probably easier for Y/N to use time to disguise the numbers, even if it added another digit...” I thought out loud.
Morgan rushed over to her computer as I felt my body fill up with hope. “What can you tell us about it, baby girl?” He asked.
“It was previously owned by a man named Hubert Roffkins, but then the trail ends 2 months ago. It looks like it was abandoned then, and oh dear.”
“What is it?” Morgan pushed.
“Hotch asked me to look into similar abductions with phone calls ending with murder.”
I swallowed harshly. “And?” I asked.
“The dates coincide with the first kidnapping.”
“Let’s go.” Morgan commanded.
Third Person POV
Hubert Roffkins had stabbed Y/N for the seventh time by the time the FBI got to the scene. He was cornered and surrounded by agents, he knew there was no way out of this. As he reached for his gun, Agent Hotchner fired a single shot to the head and Roffkins was dead before he hit the ground. 
Y/N was still conscious when the agents came. She was surrounded by her own blood and dizzy with pain, but she knew once she saw those FBI vests, she’d be okay. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but she heard a gunshot and saw a pair of converse running towards her. Her vision was blurring, but she didn’t need it to identify the figure who picked her up off the ground and held her face. He kept telling her to stay with him, but she couldn’t hear him. Her vision focused on his face for one second and she smiled at the familiar face. “Spencer,” she whispered, so faint he could barely hear her.
“I’m here, Y/N, I’m here.” He cried, holding her closer to him.
Her vision blurred once more and she let the darkness succumb her.
Spencer rode in the ambulance with her, and he would not let go of her hand the entire way to the hospital. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, wondering what could have been if he’d arrived just a few moments earlier. 
Once in the hospital, it took an army of nurses to separate Spencer from Y/N. He couldn’t let her out of his sight, too scared of losing her again. So he settled on sitting outside her room while the doctors operated on her. 
The rest of the BAU team met him at the hospital. They exchanged glances and sighs, unable to help their youngest teammate. No matter how they tried to comfort him, his mind was fixated on the well-being of his lost love.
The doctor emerged from Y/N’s room and Spencer immediately sat up.
“Her vitals are stable and he missed the major organs. She will be incredibly sore, but she’s gonna make it.” The doctor announced.
Spencer smiled. “Can I see her?” He asked.
The doctor nodded, warning him that she was still sleeping and she will be very tired.
Spencer walked into the room and sighed. He hated seeing her like this. She was pale, and she looked so fragile. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and hold her forever. 
He took a seat next to her bed and grabbed her hand. His thumb traced small circles on the back of her hand while he studied her face. Finally, after months of being apart, he was finally here with her. He was both relieved and terrified, knowing that once she woke up, she would have his entire heart in her hands. 
“Hey, Y/N.” He whispered, his voice coming out broken. He cleared his throat and continued. 
“I uh, I got your voicemail.” His voice cracked and he let out a sad smile. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. But you did so good. I understood, Y/N. I remembered everything.” His voice cracked and tears were welling up in his eyes, but he continued. “You’re so strong. I’m so proud of you.” His voice was now barely above a whisper. 
Spencer stopped for a moment to compose himself. It was the moment he had been waiting for. Y/N was right in front of him and all of his emotions were overwhelming. He had to tell her right now. Even if she couldn’t hear him; he needed the practice. Because the words have been bottled up for so long, and now that she was right in front of him, he felt like he was going to burst. But he just didn’t know where to start. 
“Y/N, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I really need to tell you something, and I can’t wait any longer.” Spencer let out a sigh and stared at her hand in his. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for months, and I-I need to let the words out before I lose my confidence.” Spencer swallowed thickly. “Or I don’t know, maybe you can hear me. Studies have shown that...” He trailed off. He was rambling.
Spencer let out a deep sigh and brought his eyes back to Y/N’s face. “Y/N... You were the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I can’t believe I let you go.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “You were right, you know. Something did happen to me on a case. But I didn’t want to bring you into the evil that corrupts my world, so I kept you in the dark. But then it got out of hand... It became less about shielding you and more about protecting myself.” Spencer licked his lips and lowered his eyes again. He felt ashamed. Had it not been for his own pride, perhaps Y/N would still be in his life. Maybe he could have even prevented this. But he let out a shaky breath and continued.
“I was abducted and tortured by a man named Tobias Hankel. He had multiple personalities. So when he wasn’t torturing me, he was giving me painkillers. It was dilaudid.” Spencer shook his head as the memories of his abduction came back to him. 
“I... I became addicted, Y/N. I knew I needed help. But I wanted to prove I was strong. I wanted to prove that I could bounce back and show that I could handle it. But I couldn’t.” By now, the young doctor was crying. He continued through his sobs. “I guess I... I guess I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it on my own, so I pushed everyone away, Y/N. Not just you. And I know that doesn’t make it better, but you were never the problem, Y/N. It was me.”
Spencer looked at Y/N’s face and rubbed circles on her hand. “I know there’s no way you could have known that, but I don’t want you blaming yourself for what happened between us. And I know what you would say if you were awake right now. I know what I did was wrong. I realized that you would never see me as weak for this, but in that moment I've never felt so weak. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
Hot tears streamed down the Spencer’s face as he continued. “I’ve been sober for half a year now. I’ve been sober ever since we broke up. And I know drugs don’t excuse how I acted towards you, but I just needed you to know,” Spencer held onto Y/N’s hand tighter. “I never stopped loving you.”
As the young doctor spilled his heart out to his love, the words he spoke never reached their recipient. Y/N laid in deep slumber, unaware of Spencer’s confession as he sat next to her. She would stay in her comatose-like condition until the next day, never to hear the truth behind the end of her and Spencer’s relationship.
Because when Y/N awoke, Spencer had gone to get his morning cup of coffee from the hospital’s cafeteria. He had spent the entire night sleeping by her side, desperate to be the first person she saw when she woke up. By the time he returned, fits of giggles were emerging from Y/N’s room.
Spencer’s heart fluttered as he heard her laughter echo in his ears. She was finally awake, and he could finally get his confession off his conscience. All he had to do was repeat the words he had said the night before, this time to active ears.
But the words were caught in his throat once more, because when Spencer entered Y/N’s room, he was met with two sets of eyes instead of one. Y/N had lit up and exclaimed, “There’s the man who saved my life!” Her excitement and smile still brought butterflies to Spencer’s stomach. But they quickly disappeared when she spoke her next sentence, confirming Spencer’s fears. 
“Spencer, I want you to meet Connor. My boyfriend.” She gestured to the man sitting next to her. Spencer had recognized him immediately, he was the man he saw Y/N with at the cafe.
Spencer’s stomach dropped and his heart broke once again. 
He was too late.
---
read part two here!
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newtonsheffield · 3 years
Note
You mention how Edwina is the sweet princess but I feel like Kate is also truly loved by the people, they just maybe take a while to warm up to her.
Can we see a snippet of Kate being the Queen of everyone’s hearts like we know she would be and Anthony hyping her up the entire time?
Just you know to compensate for the angst today?
You don’t have to, of course but it’d be nice to read is all 🤗
Oh, Kate is definitely loved by the people by the time her coronation comes round because of a few things that happen during a televised event in two chapters time.
Make no mistake, the Royal family of Genovia is very well loved amongst the public and honestly, while they had thought Kate's relationship with Anthony might be a PR disaster, it turned into pretty well the opposite, let's take a look.
(I'm trying real hard not to spoil anything but some things might slip through and I'm sorry )
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Sophie?" Anthony said nervously to the woman currently flitting around behind his chair, directing a lighting technician with startling efficiency.
"We've been over this, Anthony. Yes. All of my ideas are good, and if you question another of them, I'll tell your mother what really happened to steal you from your engagement party." Sophie looked pointedly at Anthony, whose cheeks flushed as he thought about how Kate had felt, moving against him in the water of the fountain.
"How do you-?"
"I know everything that happens in this palace Anthony." Sophie said dismissively, "Also, Kate told me."
He could see Kate smirking across the room as her make up team flitted around her, putting the final touches on her.
This had been the part of their relationship that was the hardest for him to adjust to. He hadn't thought he would have to. Had thought it would be easy, given he'd had a semi public life as a viscount, but he'd very quickly learned that being associated with the royal family proper was its own kind of pageantry. He had Kate hadn't been together a week before they'd been sat in a room, the Queen Regent's disapproving stare fixed firmly on him, as Sophie chatted with 15 PR experts all tutting and umming.
"Just how public do you want this to be?" Kate's mother had sighed her eyes barely leaving Anthony's hand clutched firmly in Kate's.
Kate had frowned, "I know you think this is a mistake, Mary, but I love him." Anthony's chest had ached, for the disapproval in Mary's voice, though he knew it had nothing at all to do with Kate and everything to do with him, and rightly so.
"I don't think anything, Kate. You're enjoying a not insignificant bump in public opinion given everything that happened at... your wedding, I'm just saying, the public might not take kindly to seeing you in a relationship with someone that tried to stage a coup."
Unfortunately the PR experts had agreed, even Sophie humming sadly, but Kate had insisted, she wasn't going to keep their relationship a secret and so, Lord Bridgerton had emerged as Princess Katharine's public companion two weeks later.
And to everyone's very great surprise, the new royal couple had been a hit. Magazines were filled with pictures of Kate, smiling down at his younger sister amidst all the other school children. Pictures of him kissing her cheek as they got back into the car, the two of them branded star crossed lovers. Two people who weren't supposed to fall in love, but couldn't help themselves, capturing the attention of the entire country. Requests for media appearances pouring in, Sophie's phone ringing off the hook. And it had only been worse when Kate had been spotted, three weeks ago now, coming out of his apartment, an engagement ring fixed firmly on her finger.
So here they were, about to give a televised interview discussing how they fell in love. And it should have been so easy. But it really didn't seem that way.
"You look very handsome. I might have to undo those buttons with my teeth later." Kate's voice growled in his ear as she settled on the sofa beside him, legs crossed primly as she tucked herself against his side, wrapping his arm over her shoulders, her left hand resting on his knee so the engagement ring was front and centre.
Anthony felt himself flush, "Don't make promises you can't keep, Your Majesty." he ground out, ignoring her little huff of breath against his neck.
"Who said I wasn't planning on keeping them?" Her fingernails gliding up his leg, heat rushing to his stomach.
"Can we dial this horniness back to about a 2?" Sophie sighed from her position, by the door, waiting for the journalist to enter.
"What do you think we're currently at?" Kate hummed directing her attention back to Sophie effortlessly as Anthony tried to redirect his thoughts elsewhere.
"As always, 25. We want young and in love not ready to rip each others clothes off and make a celebrity sex tape."
"You can't deny we'd definitely get a lot of viewers." The corner of her lips was tugging upwards in smirk.
Sophie rolled her eyes, "One of these days I'm going to- Sandra! Lovely to see you again!"
The journalist had entered the room, looking around curiously, greeting Sophie politely. Anthony knew Sandra Jacobsen had been very carefully chosen for this interview, the exact brand of questioning carefully plotted out by Sophie.
"Your Majesty." The woman dropped into a curtsy before Kate, who nodded politely.
"And you know Lord Bridgerton?" The woman curtsied again.
"Sandra, it's so lovely to see you again. How is your son enjoying university?" Kate slipped effortlessly into her public mode, kindly enquiring after people, and Anthony knew, while other dignitaries had this information fed to thm, Kate kept her own careful notes on everyone, ready to use at a moments notice, and people were powerless t resist her smile.
Sandra settled in the chair in front of them after several long moments, rattling off some introductions, sending Anthony's anxiety hurtling towards breaking point, Kate's fingers drumming on his knee keeping it from getting there.
"Now, the two of you sent the entire country into a spin a few months ago."
Kate laughed delightedly, "Yes, I suppose it was a little dramatic wasn't it?" She turned to Anthony, her eyes sparkling at him, sending his heart skipping.
"We're nothing if not dramatic." Anthony couldn't help but grin. It was easy to laugh about it now, all the tears shed months ago now disappearing in the wake of this beautiful thing that had blossomed between them.
"I think, I speak for the entire country when I say what a beautiful couple you make." Sandra was saying, but Anthony couldn't pull himself away from Kate's eyes, drowning in them a little, falling deeper and deeper every second nw that he'd let himself.
"Lord Bridgerton?" Sandra's voice caught his attention, as Kate's elbow caught him in the ribs. Sophie hissing behind him like an angry goose.
"Sorry, Sandra I got distracted. Could you repeat that?"
"I was just saying, the two of you met when you were invited to stay at the palace," The very public, very necessary lie always grated on him. But they could hardly have had him say The future queen let me take her home not even knowing my last night and fuck her in my shower. Could they? "What was the first thought that ran through your head when you saw her?"
Kate was smirking at him, her hand tight on his knee, he could almost see Sophie begging him not to say something stupid, an image flashing through his mind f Kate on a barstool laughing delightedly his breath leaving his body.
"Honestly Sandra? Oh No, She's really pretty."
The entire Genovian news cycle is taken up by clips of Anthony stammering through his words, unable to take his eyes off his fiancée, Oh no, She's really pretty played on a loop, made into memes and jokes on late night TV. All with the same sentiment It's what she deserves. And Anthony honestly, couldn't have agreed more.
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embrassemoi · 3 years
Text
Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 33
Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L   Warnings: Swearing, unhealthy defence mechanisms
【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Playlist 】
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Chapter 33: Betray The Moon as Acolyte
━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━
September 8th, 1976
Remus peered up to the night sky, resplendent with a coruscating kaleidoscope of stars and the full moon. He yawned, acutely aware of his bones shifting, aching and cracking. Resting on a small cot pressed against the wall in the corner of the shrieking shack, Remus felt his temperature rise and skin stretch too thinly across his body.
“I’ll be back once the sun rises, dearie,” Madam Pomfrey called out, the door millimetres from locking shut.
“Wait,” he said and Madam Pomfrey re-opened the door with a warm, motherly smile.
“Yes?”
“Thank you. For always helping, I know it can be… tiresome.”
How long has it been? That Pomfrey had been helping him out, every full moon — had known of his affliction and been there to assist? It was years now, countless hours of her time wasted on him.
Was he that much of a burden? The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, that made his face pucker and heart lacerate itself in fresh wounds.
“Don’t concern yourself with me, honey.” Then the door clicked shut and he heard her utter a spell; to confine the beast within the four walls.
The tormenting plague increased every minute as the countdown to his transformation loomed. His heart thudded stridently and his breathing was ragged and strained. His teeth grinded against each other and his tongue swept across them, feeling them elongate and reshape in preparation.
Remus grabbed the hem of his jumper, exasperated by the overwhelming heat and because he didn’t want to shred it in the process. As he slipped out, feeling the adored red fabric, tattered with holes and frayed yarn in his hands, the door opened and he could already smell Peter and James. Subconsciously, he shielded his body from them, to avoid them from seeing all of his scars.
Remus became dizzy instantly. James wore a particularly strong perfume that day.
More than anything, over the pain and hint of repugnance, he was nervous. It would be the first full moon since… the prank that the Marauders would be together for his transformations. Or all the Marauders aside from one and nobody wanted to address it.
A sharp pain thundered through his skull and he knew time was slipping from him. Remus couldn’t recall the last time the moments before his transformation were that painful.
“You okay, Moons?” Wormtail asked, dropping down beside him. Prongs followed in suit, taking his sweater and folding it neatly.
“I’m fine — umph —”
“Shit! Prongs, get back and turn. Now!”
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After a week of lessons, there were considerable adjustments to the curriculum. Everyone noticed and it quickly dispersed a sombre milieu on all of Hogwarts.
Classes were smaller, many parents deciding to transfer their children to other magical schools around the world. Y/N even received a few worried letters from Matthew that there was an abundance of new British students attending Ilvermorny.
In his worried letters, Matthew informed her that the MACUSA and French Ministry of Magic had been stepping in, fighting forces against the wizarding war. It was all news to her. Ever since James’ parents cancelled their subscription to the Daily Prophet after their beliefs that they were biased, she hadn’t been able to catch up.
More defence and attack spells were taught and everyone became well aware of why someone of Professor Elway’s reputation and skill was there. The same went for the Duelling re-opening and even Flitwick initiated small tutorial sessions for students of all grades to teach them defensive spells.
Defence Against the Dark Arts became nothing more than a Muggle military camp. Elway drilled the students; attack and defence spell after the other, never stopping for a second. Transfigurations focused more on concealment and vanishing charm and every day McGonagall looked as if she aged a decade by the solemn, haunted look that nowadays was permanently carved into her.
Herbology went over a vast majority of life-saving plants, herbs and how to make their own medicine. And Potions heavily focused on identifying spiked potions with poisons and how to create reversal serums in case of emergencies.
The students of Hogwarts weren’t brainless. They knew they were training them for war.
She tried to ignore it, but if anything Y/N felt foolish. The magical world was meant to be an escape, not a guardhouse.
It didn’t help that the murders from the summer played heavily in her mind along with the rumours of Voldemort recruiting students from Hogwarts, prompting a spike of distrust to spread rampantly. It wasn’t time to fight or lose people but to keep those you trusted and loved close. So Lily keeping her distance had her worried.
Sorted into the same dorm as last year, she reckoned she would have some time with Lily but every day it seemed like she was busy with prefect duties, or had homework, or reading, or a new study group she needed to rush off to. She and Lily hadn’t resumed their usual nightly routines either, hadn’t sat with her in the Great Hall since the welcome back feast and hadn’t said more than a word to her.
It was evident that Lily was avoiding her and only her.
Maybe Y/N had gotten clingy, got too close too hastily because it felt too similar to how her mother treated her. It caused the imminent, spine-chilling feeling of wanting to push everyone away.
Extreme distress was starting to pile up.
Luckily, James stayed a constant consistency in her life and a lot of her pent-up fears dissipated by his presence. He never ignored her, if anything he went out of his way to be nearer. Even Peter and most notably, Remus, had become part of her daily life more than ever.
It was terrifying and everything told her to run. Don’t get too close, don’t get too comfortable. But it was hard not to.
That morning, James crept up to her dorm, knocking softly as she popped out, ready for the day. He looked exhausted; his eye bags were prominent, darkened and cradled in his arm, he held Remus’ rabbit.
“To keep him company,” James explained, yawning while escorting her down the staircase, passing the rabbit over. “It was a rough night.”
It would be the first time they would try to incorporate Y/N into replacing Black and balance out James’ other priorities with Remus’ moon cycles. And unable to reschedule Quidditch try-outs to another morning and James forced to leave prematurely, she would have to step in.
But her fears skyrocketed. Were they pushing it? She was only visiting him… It wasn’t out of pity and she genuinely wanted to be there to support Remus.
“What if he doesn’t want visitors?”
James rolled his eyes. “It will be fine. He’ll appreciate it more than he’ll let on.”
But then a faint floral and citrus smell flowed through the distilled air as she took a deep breath.
“James, you smell really good... Are you wearing perfume?”
His frown transformed into a prideful simper. “Bought the same perfume as my mum. Helps when I miss her.”
She gasped. “A mama’s boy!” And then pinched his cheek.
About to step out of the portrait, James must’ve accidentally activated a prank because the moment his hand brushed against the portrait, four Muggle stereos floated above his head, blasting break-up songs on the highest volume. It rattled the walls and made their ears bleed.
“Fucking hell!” James shouted, his wand swishing around to stop the music while Y/N stuffed Remus’ rabbit inside her bag and bewitched a silencing spell around it.
“Students are sleeping!” Lily shrieked, rushing down the stairs and charmed away the stereos.
“Oi! You think we don’t know?” James retorted, a hand clutching his ear. “Emmeline…”
“Emmeline?” Lily repeated, shaking her head. “May Merlin himself save the poor girl daft enough to end up with you.”
The only enlightened that took away from the war and recent murders was Emmeline and her friends pranking and wreaking havoc like the Marauders onto James as a punishment.
He deserved it and even James agreed.
“Where are you two headed?” Lily inquired and for the first time since the train ride, she addressed Y/N head-on.
A glimmer of hope.
“Aw, finally starting to care about me, Evans?” James joked although it’s laced with uncertainty.
Y/N cut off Lily before she had the chance to speak, eager to answer her question. “It’s Remus.”
Recognition filtered through her, gaze shooting up to the large grandfather clock beside the bookshelves. Lily’s head bobbed repeatedly, pressing her lips together sympathetically. She considered James for a moment.
“Will you be back in time for lessons?” Lily then whipped her hands around. “Y’know what, forget it. I’ll take notes for… both of you.”
Y/N felt James nudge her foot, simultaneously forcing out a cough. His hand went to scratch behind his neck. “R-right. Erm, I — we appreciate it, Evans, but ugh — we have a free period this morning.”
Lily’s jaw dropped. “Oh. Sorry.”
“NO!” James said a little too loud. “I mean, no. It’s fine. Thank you.”
Y/N pursed her lips, her neck bending as her shoulders tensed while watching their interaction play out. “Alrighty, we should go. Thank you, Petals.” She interjected. Her hands spun James around as they walked out of the common room and to the hospital wing.
Both students groaned out loudly. Black was there, sitting on the ground and back pressed against the wall to the wing.
“He doesn’t want to see you,” James challenged. His feet pivoted to Black, before her hands pressed against his chest, preventing him from touching Black and starting yet another fight. “Leave it.”
His eyes flickered from her to Black. Sighing, he made a slight rearward movement and removed his glasses to rub his eyes.
“Just don’t follow us.”
They walked inside without sparing him another glance.
“Here comes the fucking sun, Moons!” James chirped, his mood altering drastically. But she staggered behind a beat.
Remus was already awake, quietly chatting to Peter. His bed curtains were half drawn and she took his rabbit from her bag, pulling it close to her chest.
His head snapped in their direction, but instead of his eyes landing on James, it went squarely to her. She smiled, eyes analyzing every ripple of expression. He didn’t seem angry. No, not at all, but stunned.
Once James realized she wasn’t by his side anymore, he turned and looped an arm over her shoulder. He whispered, “Moony won’t bite. It’s okay.”
“I wasn’t expecting you.” Remus finally said, smiling.
“Of course I’d come.” Confidence now circulated her body as she approached him, handing over his rabbit. James was delighted at his response while the rabbit nuzzled its way into the crook of Remus’ neck, tickling him. She murmured into his ear, not wanting to peer pressure him by others' wants, “You don’t mind me being here, do you? I’ll leave, no hurt feelings.”
Remus shook his head, petting his rabbit. “No, please stay.” He croaked, voice deep and tired.
“Oi!” James said, albeit quietly.
“Flirt somewhere else,” Peter added with false annoyance.
James nodded. “So, little Moony —”
“Little Moony?” Remus groaned. “What?”
“Aw,” she teased, “Is moody Moony making an appearance?”
“Did you come just to make fun of me?”
But then Peter grinned cheekily, moving to softly slap his hand down on his thigh in the same tempo as Here Comes the Sun. Y/N and James immediately caught on, ready to chagrin while Remus shook his hands in front of his face to get them to stop.
“Don’t you —“
“Here comes the sun, moody Moony —“ “Crikey.”
“Here comes the sun, and we say it’s alright!” They sang, keeping their voices to a minimum to not worsen his potential headache. They had to hold back their laughter as Peter began to replicate the horrible instrumental with his voice. James sang the loudest. “Little Moony, it’s been a long cold moon cycle.”
Madam Pomfrey poked her head from her office, ready to tell the visitors to be quieter than a mouse — or kick them out in favour of Remus’ rest but she froze. Remus was poorly attempting to cover his smile, his cheeks burning a bright red and she hadn’t seen him that happy after full moons. And after what happened last year, his happiness was all she wanted. So she sat back down, smiling to herself at the horrid sing.
“Little Moony, the smiles returning to the faces —”
“Guys!”
“Little Moony, it feels like years since it’s been here.”
━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━
James eventually left, rushing to tryouts with Marlene with a great deal of apprehension. When the bell rang, students rushing down for breakfast, both Y/N and Peter departed momentarily to the Great Hall, grabbing a few snacks and tea Remus requested.
But the moment Peter stepped foot outside the hospital wing, it was as if any sort of energy left his body. He became sluggish, moving slowly and yawned multiple times.
“Pete, go back to him, I’ll get everything,” she implored. “Or get some rest. I can’t imagine staying up all night can be good.”
“It’s —” A yawn. “— Sorry. I’ll be fine.”
She didn’t push. They made their way around fast and exited quickly before a group of seventh and sixth years swarmed Peter. A few even greeted her, attempting to strike a conversation.
Peter sent her a dejected look, passing her the rest of the snacks and teacup.
“I’ll meet you there.”
She rushed back in record time. Black was still sitting outside the wing and she could faintly hear him muttering her name but she disregarded him wholly.
But the sight inside the hospital made her heart shatter.
Remus was haggard, dishevelled and face screwed together in pain. He tried to push himself up multiple times to reach behind his head, to his pillow. But it was futile.
The crinkling of the wrapper in her hand made her wince; it became the loudest object in the world at that moment. It forewarned Remus and she gently padded over. She sat down gently on the edge of his bed, setting down everything on the metal tray.
“Don’t push yourself — here, let me.” Remus visibly reclined into himself, covering his scarred arms with the blanket coiled by his side. But he listened without complaints as she reached behind his head, fluffing his pillow and helped him lay back down gently. “Not feeling too good?”
“Like shit.”
It became awkward fast.
“Um… Peter’s coming. Was held up with a couple of seventh years.” “You can leave if you don’t want to be here,” Remus blurted out, “I won't force you —”
“Woah there!” She felt as if she was slapped by him. The sudden change had her wheeling. “Who said you’re forcing me? You’re my Moony, no?”
He breathed out a chuckle and shifted towards her. She glanced at the tray with a few potions. What he said stuck to her.
“Do you mind if you can pour those into my tea? Thanks.” Remus croaked.
She nodded, unscrewed the cork to the vials and mixed it into the drink. The clinking sound of the spoon tapping against the porcelain cup.
“What is this?”
“Um… a mixture of powder silver and Nightshade,” grumbled Remus, trying to push himself up as she handed him the cup. “Helps with the pain and fogginess.”
Her mind was restless. “Can I ask some questions?”
His eyebrows knitted together. “Questions?”
“Y’know, about being a werewolf.”
He took a giant gulp. “Did you just skip all the Werewolf questions on the OWLs?” Remus laughed.
“I bet half of it’s false.” She admitted truthfully. “Besides, how am I supposed to help next time if I don’t know?”
Remus stayed quiet for a long time after she said that and she wondered if she pushed a boundary. But then he nodded, urging her to continue.
“Okay… so silver doesn’t hurt you, right?” She watched as Remus sip his tea before having to put it down to laugh.
“Myth.”
“So all the silver bullet stuff..?”
He gave a full-body laugh. “Myth. Sorry, not what you were expecting?”
“No,” she admitted after a bit, embarrassed. All those children's stories were false…
“Silver can’t hurt me, I don’t grow hair rapidly. I like eating rare meat; I have trouble sleeping, I don’t have curved fingernails or low-set ears. I can’t run super fast but I can see better in the dark, can hear, smell and am stronger than the average Muggle or Wizard.”
“Can you always smell or hear better? Or does it increase near the full moon?”
“It becomes stronger near the full moon and after for a while.”
“Wait… Does that mean you can smell people. Like me?!” She was appalled and crossed her arms over herself as if the action would suddenly cover any scent.
Remus barked out laughing before wincing as a dull pain shocked through his system. “You smell fine. Don’t worry.”
Her hands found their way to cover her mouth. She was mortified. “You have a way with words, Lupin.”
Remus was on the verge of tears, nearly choking on himself to prevent laughing. He endured the deep bruise on the side of his ribs digging into him but he couldn’t stop.
She slapped his arm playfully and took the now empty teacup from his hand, setting it down on the metal tray and ushered him to slide over in his bed. He doesn’t hesitate.
Y/N slid beside him, and she could feel the fluctuating rise and fall of Remus’ chest as his chuckles came to a slow halt. She took the rabbit from his lap, holding it in her arms carefully.
“Does she have a name?” She questioned, scratching behind its floppy ears. Remus chose the least threatening rabbit.
“No.”
“We should think of one then.”
Remus watched her, listening to the words pouring out. But then he cringed inwardly, reminded of his cruelty to her a couple of months ago. He wasn’t expecting her to visit and it came as a pleasant surprise. It made his heart flutter. She wasn’t scared. She hadn’t been lying that night. He was accepted.
He tuned in to her heartbeat: steady and calm. Slow.
Her words echoed in his head. I feel safe with you.
Safe.
Remus felt a whisper of a smile worm it's way onto him. As soon the realization came, the dull ache in his body subdued, the burning in his throat faded and the hollow ache in his heart filled with a golden glow. Just a bit.
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September 10th, 1976
“I’m sorry,” Black said, his eyes wide and pleading as he sat beside her in the Great Hall. She ignored him.
“I need to explain, please,” Black begged in a hushed voice while she searched the library’s premises for Regulus. She ignored him yet again.
“Tesoro mio,” Black flirted, both sitting in the common room as she added notes in the werewolf section in her textbook. His new tactic caught her off guard but she prevailed, getting up and leaving.
“Talk to me,” Black whined. “Please.” She ignored him, continuing to walk to class calmly and held her head high. She just left the hospital wing and Black was trailing her.
But he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a nearby broom closet and closed the door.
“Get off of me!” She nearly screamed. Thankfully, he was smart enough to keep a healthy distance away. She kept her hands balled into a fist, preventing herself from taking one of the dust brooms and smashing it on his head.
“Sorry! But you won’t talk to me any other way!”
Darkness enclosed them, only the light seeping through the cracks of the old wooden door illuminated Black as every ounce of restrengthen was pushed to the edge.
A flurry of apologies fell from his lips but she wouldn’t have it. Simply looking bored at her nails and tapping her foot against the ground.
“I know you’re mad — you have every right to be! I get that, I understand.”
“Then leave me alone?” She jeered sarcastically, handing grazing the doorknob.
“Wait! Please, just hear me out — let me explain —”
“Explain what?” She lashed out through gritted teeth. “You should count your stars that you don’t have an attempted murder charge.”
Her heart thumped rather fast and would have been distressing had she not been controlled by anger. Everything was overshadowed by a grim penumbra sweeping over them, closing in on her and Black and it wasn’t because of the lack of light in the dingy closet.
She was revolted by him. Sick of seeing his sad face, moping around the hospital wing or looking at her or the other Marauders in yearning.
“Do you think I’ll care about what you want to say?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Apology not accepted, dipshit.”
His head bowed. “I deserved that.” “You think?”
“It’s just that —”
Her temper spiked to the highest level and her hand drifted to her back pocket and grazed the tip of her wand.
“I —”
Something in her snap. “Shut up. Shut up! Stop trying to defend yourself! Stop it! I don’t want to hear it!”
Black was visibly shutting down. “Please, just calm down…”
And then everything poured out.
“Calm down? Calm down?! I gave — I put my trust in you and you immediately ran with it, breaking it twice and then broke everyone else’s! How am I supposed to talk to you like everything’s okay? I get that you don’t like me, that you don’t like Snape, but really? What do you not understand?!”
He was nodding his head, taking it, never once trying to defend himself. His head hung similar to a child being scolded, hands curled around himself.
“You must have never cared for them.”
Black went oddly still. “That's a bold lie and you know that.”
“Do I?” She ridiculed. “Do you want to know the funny part? I was starting to care for you. Apparently, you never did.”
“That’s not true.”
There, a flicker of rage. Finally a reaction other than pathetic regret and guilt. Something cold crept into his eyes, hardening and entirely stormy and silver, reminding her of last year where they constantly fought. But then, it was washed away with a blink.
“I was nothing but a toy to you!”
“Y/N...”
“You. Never. Cared. About —”
“Stop it! Of course I —”
“— Me. Or. The. Other —”
“— fucking cared —”
“— Marauders —” “ — about you!”
Her eyes stung with bitter unshed, frustrated tears and her throat burned, constricting together. Emotions she hadn’t taken a moment to consider hit her within seconds and everything was too overwhelming.
The material of her shirt suddenly turned itchy. Her skin was too tight and she felt herself rock back and forth in a way to calm down.
For a moment, she thought he wouldn’t answer as it fell silent but she struck a nerve.
“Stop saying that!” He shouted. Now not breaking her stare and took a step forward.
“You’re fucking selfish. You betrayed them.” A step forward.
“You only cared about yourself.” Black shook his head. Another step forward.
“If you ever cared about me — about anyone else you’ve hurt — you wouldn’t have done… that.” A step forward.
They were the closest they had been in months. Their breaths were laboured and ragged. Being that close to him raised all the hairs on her neck in a way she used to love but now hated herself for.
The very notion made her nauseous. Disgusted.
She missed him. Truly. It was such a profound hurt and longing that ran deeper than wanting a quick snog or shag. But that was her problem that she was going to have to hide, bury in an air-sealed chest and throw away.
He opened his mouth and he leant forward inappreciably. But whatever words he was about to spew, he stopped himself. She could feel his breath fan her face, both of their chest raised and fell rapidly.
They stayed like that for a while and she held back from crying, feeling her heart pound in her chest.
“Is there anything else you want to say?” He asked dejectedly.
Why did you have to be so stupid? We could’ve… you could’ve had everything.
Do you miss me?
Did you ever care, even a little?
“This time,” her voice was no louder than a rustle, “I mean it. I hate you. Truly.”
Lie.
Black gave her one last glance through heavy, desolate, half-lidded eyes, closing them shut. “Ti voglio bene.”
Her frown doubled, wondering if he mocked her. Why did he always do that?
“At least you’re consistent in one thing.”
She slipped out, her hand on the door and cracked it open, leaving him there.
“Being a fucking liar.”
She slammed the door shut with so much violence that it made a couple of bystanders passing by yelp and stare. The shattering of glass from within the closet echoed and it made her breathless.
She had to lean against the stone wall, her body buzzing and numb from the adrenaline.
Sometimes everything in her life seemed so… random. What if everything could have been avoided? One simple word, maybe if she said something different, or did something different, would the outcome have been better? Or worse?
What if she had two parents? What if she had been raised by a loving mother? Would she have been that hurt by his actions if opening up was less… impossible?
What ifs…
She stumbled her way to class mindlessly, horribly late. The floorboards creaked, cutting Slughorn off while she lurked in the doorway. The teacher’s head, along with everyone else in the room, snapped up.
Lily looked at her worriedly and concern was written in every inch of her face. James had a double-take and became alarmed while Marlene on the other side of the class looked around nervously.
“Sorry I’m late.”
“No worries, m’girl!” Slughorn smiled. “Please, take the seat next to… Severus! Now, I was saying, I have a small tradition I’d like to do every year with my students.”
Y/N didn’t even interject; too drained after what happened and sat by Snape.
“Can anyone tell me what this is?” The professor held up a tiny bottle. “Or can anyone tell me what Felix Felicis is?”
Lily raised her hand, casting a concerned gaze to her before answering. From the corner of her eye, she could see Barty and Avery, along with a few other students whispering to each other as Lily spoke; all of them forcing down a smile. Y/N vaguely sensed herself prickle.
“It’s known as Liquid Luck. As the name suggests, it makes the drinker lucky.”
“Beautiful answer! Quite right! Ten points for Gryffindor! Now, whoever brews the Draught of Living Death the closest will win this prize at the end of this lesson. Off you go!”
The class was scurrying off quickly while she made her way around leisurely. Snape’s sopophorous bean had been hitting her multiple times.
“Would you fucking —” she grabbed the bean with her hands and threw it at Snape and he hissed at. “Just take your knife blade and squeeze it down on the side with your dagger.”
Snape scoffed. “That’s not going to work you d —”
Snape shut up immediately as she crushed the bean with a sharp knife and flicked the juice into the cauldron.
“Now stop hitting me or I’ll pour your potion on the ground.”
Snape’s attention wasn’t on her, instead of trying to decipher her scribbles before taking her book away from his eyesight. She hit him with her book.
She completed the rest of the potion with ease. Snape was nearly done with his potion, she could tell he was on the right path before Slughorn sauntered around the classroom to observe the students. At James’ cauldron, he made no comment but instead helped stir his potion. Lily was given an approving nod, announcing to the class that she earned Gryffindor a few house points until making his way over to their table, peering into the cauldrons. At Snape’s concoction, he gave a bright smile and opened his mouth until he saw hers and a look of pure delight spread over him, his hands clapping together.
“Oho! Excellent! Miss L/N has done it! We have our winner!”
A small round of claps went around meanwhile James and Marlene cheered loudly, effectively embarrassing her.
“Show off,” Snape sneered. She ignored him.
Once the bell rang, Slughorn called her over to collect her vial of Liquid Luck. She slipped the bottle into her pocket for safekeeping.
But before she left, she stopped and spun around. “Professor Slughorn?”
“Yes?”
“I read in my Advanced Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, but I found that there’s no Potion to help Werewolves. I was wondering if that’s still true? I know books can be outdated.”
Slughorn gave her a pensive look. “I think that’s a matter for Madam Pomfrey. Is there a reason why?”
“It’s just —” She made up a lie quickly. “I’m nervous about NEWTs and how I’ll do in my studies and it’s merely an interest.”
“Oh, my girl! You are excellent. By far one of the best students I’ve ever had. You don’t need to worry!” Slughorn cheered. Slughorn seemed genuine and she smiled at the praise. “And for your question, no. Sadly there isn’t.”
“At all?”
Slughorn thought for a while. “If I recall, there have been recent developments with stewed Mandrakes. It’s rumoured to help lycanthrope individuals ease their way back into the original human state.”
Y/N stored the newfound information in her head. She thanked him, turning to leave until calling out again. Slughorn twirled his head.
“I was wondering if I could practice more — like I said, I‘m nervous about my NEWTs.”
There wasn’t even a delay and Slughorn beamed. “Of course! As long as you clean up after yourself, you may come and go as you please. I’ll make sure to leave the doors open until curfew.
“Oh! I’m planning to host another Slugclub dinner soon, I expect you to be there?”
“... Of course, sir.”
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【 Next Chapter 】
Translations:
Tesoro mio = My treasure or 'honey'
Ti voglio bene = 'I love you' but its not like what you think. It's more of an unconditional and selfless love that means 'I want you to be well.' It places an emphasis on the tender and affectionate feelings you have for the other person. It's the safer option to say to your significant other if it's a very new relationship.
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© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify
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starlight-loki · 3 years
Text
The Thin Line Between Life and Death (Loki x Mystic!Reader) -- PART 1
Or, That Time You and Loki Saved the World
Request: is it alright if you do a loki x reader fic where reader's got powers like strange and wields one of the infinity stones and almost dies trying to save everyone? -- requested by anon
Warnings: this is darker than other fics i've written so far: descriptions of nausea, mentions of anxiety, and major character deaths (but not Loki, I promise).
Word Count: 4.8k (hooo weeee man, if I didn't split this into 2 parts it would've been like... over 10k omg)
A/N: For context, please read this headcanon first if you'd like to know a bit more about the reader and Loki's relationship as well as to sort of set the scene for this fic -- otherwise, if you're cool with jumping right in, enjoy! This was so much fun to write :)
Also this doesn't follow the events of Infinity War/Endgame at all; this is sort of... my take on it, I guess you could say?
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Everything started going downhill when you began getting visions.
They weren't anything concerning at first, in fact they were almost cryptic, really: manifesting themselves in your dreams in subtle -- almost metaphoric -- ways. First it was simply the colour orange, which then progressed to flashes of amber light at random occasions during the events of your dreams, then it became fire. For a while, fire consumed your dreams nearly every night, burning through cities, forests, and even planets.
The Ancient One had told you from the start that dreams carried messages from your subconscious. They weren't something to be dismissed, even the most simplest elements. They were to be respected, listened to, and were meant to encourage you to shift mentally and emotionally in indescribable ways.
You figured the fire was symbolic for the stress and worry you were feeling, with everything moving so quickly over the last few days.
After all, the threat of Thanos was looming more and more. No longer was he a whispered rumour that was occasionally passed around at dinnertime with the rest of the Avengers. He was an actual threat now, and the Avengers were holding meetings twice a day to try and develop a plan of attack.
He had the power stone. It was only a matter of time before he found the others.
Twenty-four hours before everything changed, a vision came to you differently than all the others.
You were in the kitchen preparing lunch for yourself when your ears began ringing. Whispers filled your mind from the inside and spoke to you in a language you didn't understand, yet chilled you to the bone at the same time. There was a blinding flash of light that nearly paralyzed you, and as you strained to focus your eyes, you noticed a small orange stone materialize in front of you.
The soul stone.
It glided closer and closer to you, and as it did so the whispers grew louder. The lives of thousands flashed before your eyes. Their deaths did, as well. It was showing you the cycle of humanity -- birth, life, death, repeat -- almost taunting you that this seemingly inevitable thing could be controlled.
You gasped, dropped the plate in your hands accidentally. It fell to the floor with an earsplitting crash, and as quickly as the soul stone arrived, it disappeared in a swirl of orange smoke.
Your hands were shaking as you knelt down to collect the bigger pieces of the now-shattered plate. A hand on your back made you flinch in surprise and you instinctively curled closer towards the kitchen cabinets in an attempt to protect yourself.
"It's just me." Loki's soft voice seemed foggy and distant as your brain continued to adjust from the voices and the ringing you had just heard. "Are you hurt?"
You shook your head and sunk to the floor, half in defeat and half in relief that you weren't alone anymore. These visions were growing far too intense for you to handle.
You looked up at Loki, who exchanged an anxious expression with you. His green eyes searched your face, seemingly looking for an explanation of what had just happened to you.
"I saw something," you whispered, absentmindedly gripping the plate shard in your hand tighter. "Loki, I think I saw the soul stone."
His eyes widened as he knelt down beside you and gently pried the glass out of your grip, setting it down out of your reach. He replaced the broken piece in your hand with his own, and you sighed shakily as his thumb gently stroked the top of your hand.
"Did it show you anything?" He asked quietly, and you nodded quickly in response.
"I saw life, death... everything." You felt far removed from you own voice, almost like it didn't belong to you. "It's been happening in dreams too, but I've never seen the stone itself before."
You gazed at Loki, who almost seemed to disappear into his own thoughts at your mention of the visions you saw. You knew all too well about the Tesseract, and the way it had tormented Loki once before. The infinity stones were not gentle to humans, or gods for that matter.
"Do you think this has something to do with Thanos?" You asked, your voice trembling as you whispered. "Do you think maybe he managed to get the soul stone?"
Loki shook his head slowly, but it wasn't without hesitation.
"The soul stone is far away on Vormir. It's guarded heavily. I doubt-"
"Hey, you two okay?"
You glanced up quickly just as Tony stepped into the room. His eyes swept over the mess of a broken plate on the floor before landing on you and Loki, huddled together in the corner of the kitchen as if your lives depended on it.
Tony looked as exhausted as you felt. No one had really slept well in the last few days, but you couldn't imagine what it was like for Tony: he had been staying up until ungodly hours of the morning with Steve, Vision, and Rhodey, trying to formulate a plan of attack.
"Yeah," you shook your head as you tried to clear the last of the visions out of your mind. "Sorry, that was an accident. I'm just... really tired."
Tony gave a perfectly-timed yawn as he knelt down and began to pick up the broken pieces of the plate you dropped.
"I feel ya, kid."
You watched as him and Loki exchanged resigned nods of acknowledgement, and you grabbed Loki's hand before he could step forward to help Tony clean up the mess.
Should I tell him? You asked telepathically. About the soul stone?
Loki gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.
Not yet. His voice echoed through your mind like the whispers from the soul stone moments ago, bringing you warmth rather than fear. Until we fully understand why these visions are occurring, I believe it would be best to not burden Stark with any more details. It would only cause more problems.
You nodded in agreement as you pushed yourself up onto your feet shakily. You stepped forward to help Tony clean up the mess, only feel your head spin violently. You lurched forward, grabbing onto the counter as you tried to stop yourself from falling.
"Hey, whoa!" Tony sprang up and grabbed your shoulders just as you felt Loki's arms wrap around your waist in an effort to keep you standing. "Easy there, kid. Jesus, are you okay?"
"I feel sick." You mumbled, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to keep the room from spinning. Even with two people supporting your weight, you still felt as though you were going to fall over.
"Go sleep, okay?" Tony told you sternly. You made a sound of protest and tried to help him continue cleaning up. Tony shook his head in response.
"Don't worry about this, we'll clean it up." His gaze shifted over to Loki, who still held you tightly. You could feel his hands trembling ever-so-slightly, and you placed your own hand over his weakly as you attempted to silently reassure him that you'd be okay.
"Loki, make sure Y/N gets some rest."
"I will."
Loki scooped you up into his arms in one fluid motion, causing you to wince as spots danced in your vision. You buried your head against his shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to hold yourself together.
Has this ever happened to you? You manage to ask Loki telepathically as he set you carefully down on your bed. He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face before crawling into bed beside you.
Not to this degree, he replied. You couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped your lips as he gently pulled you close, cradling the back of your head. The infinity stones all have variable levels of energy, but I have never dealt with the soul stone before.
Do you mean their frequencies vary depending on their roles?
Precisely.
You sighed defeatedly, troubled by the fact that -- out of all the infinity stones -- the one that boasted power over life and death itself just had to come find you.
You knew mystics seemed to have some sort of connection to the stones, seeing as Stephen knew the time stone and guarded it with his life. You had hoped, though, that if another stone were to find its way somehow to another mystic, it would be Wong, not you.
Loki nudged your chin up ever so slightly with his fingertips, encouraging you to look up at him. He gave you a warm, gentle smile as he caressed your cheek slowly.
"Rest now," he whispered, placing a kiss on your forehead softly. "I will stay with you, I promise."
You nodded halfheartedly in response. Every cell in your being longed for nothing more but rest, yet at the same time you were afraid to close your eyes in case the soul stone was still lurking somewhere in your mind. Waiting for you.
It felt as though you had only just closed your eyes, when the sound of thunder jolted you out of your sleep. You felt weightless as you opened your eyes slowly, taking in the purple hues of clouds above you. As you felt yourself float higher, you realized with a sickening sinking feeling that your body was still in your bed, far away from where you currently were.
Your spirit had separated from your physical body, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't seem to be able to get back.
You glanced upward as you continued your ascent just as two towering structures came into view at the top of a cliff. The whispers that had filled your mind earlier that day resumed, and you cried out in fear, clutching your head in your hands. It only made them grow stronger.
As flashes of orange began filling your vision, your blood ran cold as you realized where you were.
Somehow, your spirit had found its way to Vormir.
Reaching the top of the cliff, you stepped carefully onto the platform just as a hooded figure glided towards you.
Never before has this stone ever summoned a soul into its presence. A chill ran up your spine as the guardian's voice echoed in your mind, crackling like ice.
Many have sought this stone, but it belongs to no one.
"So why did it bring me here?" You demanded, curling your arms around your middle in an attempt control your nerves. You were vulnerable here. You were powerless without your physical body -- incantations and even the mirror realm would be of no use to you in this state.
The soul stone seems to have taken a certain interest in you. It sees potential... for what is yet to come.
"I don't understand." Your own voice seemed to wrap around you in an endless echo. You instinctively took a step back as your head spun from sensory overload.
You walk the line between the living and the dead, mystic.
"But I'm not the only mystic. There's more out there like me, surely they experienced the same thing? I mean, there's Stephen-"
No. Your breath caught in your throat as the hooded figure raised its head to gaze at you, and your eyes met fiery blood red irises. You turned your gaze to the ground in an attempt to divert your fear and calm your racing heart.
Stephen Strange is already in possession of the time stone, the guardian explained slowly. There are no other mystics who possess the strength -- or courage -- to cross over into the land of the dead.
"But I'm not dead." You protested, ignoring the small voice in the back of your mind that drew your attention back to the fact that you were currently a spirit on another planet, far away from your body. "I... I've been training in the mystic arts for a few years now. Never in my life has anything like this happened. Why now am I suddenly getting visions?"
There is another who seeks the soul stone as we speak, the guardian replied. To your relief, it kept its distance from you. He yearns to own it.
"Thanos," you whispered, feeling a cold chill run up your spine as you spoke his name.
Yes, mystic, the guardian nodded solemnly. However, there are elements of the soul stone that the Titan has not tried to understand. Just like how life and death are two sides of the same coin, so too does the soul stone have another aspect.
You gasped as the soul stone materialized in front of you, hovering level with your line of sight just like when you were in the kitchen back at the Compound. You watched as it began to spin, gradually growing faster and faster, until it split neatly into two halves.
The soul stone embodies both the physical and the spiritual, and thus each aspect is acquired through complete mastery of its respective lesson.
The guardian's words echoed in your mind as you gazed at the fragments of the soul stone curiously. The fear you had felt in connection with your earlier visions was gone now. In its place, all you felt was awe.
As one of the pieces of the soul stone began gliding closer to you, you reached out your hand in an attempt to touch it. It looked so warm, so inviting. You longed to know what it would feel like to hold a piece of ancient power in your hands.
No.
You flinched, glancing at the guarding whose voice boomed in your head. As if to reinforce his words, the shards of the soul stone vanished into thin air.
"What do you mean, 'no'?" You asked quietly. "You said there's a connection between myself and the soul stone, I don't understand."
You must earn it. It does not come willingly to anyone.
"Then I don't want it." You shook your head, taking a step back. "I don't know why any of this is happening, but I want it to stop. I want to go home."
Very well.
The guardian raised his hand, and you felt yourself being pulled backwards slowly, back the way you came.
I offer you a piece of advice, mystic, the voice in your mind echoed out louder than ever. In order to gain the physical shard of the stone, you must lose the one you love. To gain the spirit shard, you must know the path that leads you back to them.
There was a sharp tug around your middle, and you felt your heart freeze in your chest as you began plummeting down the cliff. You squeezed your eyes shut as the wind echoed like a jet plane in your ears.
Remember this, the guardian's voice was distant now. You had to strain to register the words in your mind. The spirit shard cannot be found on Vormir. The fate of the physical shard is being decided as we speak. Use this knowledge wisely, mystic.
An image flashed in your mind of a titan ascending the mountain, towards the top of the cliff upon which your spirit had just stood. You caught a glint of purple, blue, and red flash from his hand.
You gasped, bolting upright as the heavy sensation that accompanied falling back into your body ran through you. You were trembling, drenched in a cold sweat, and you yelped as two hands planted themselves firmly on your shoulders.
"Relax!" Your heart sped up in your chest as you tried to fight off whoever was holding onto you. "Y/N, relax, it's me!"
Loki came into focus in front of you, his eyes never straying from yours as you tried to catch your breath. His hands were steady, but you caught a flash of fear in his eyes as he gazed at you.
"What happened?" He whispered, pulling you into a protective and firm embrace. Your breath caught in your throat as your mind wandered back to the visions that flashed behind your eyes moments before you woke up.
"Thanos." Your voice felt far away, almost foreign to you, as you replied softly. Your trembling hands reached up to pull Loki even closer to you. You were afraid you'd lose control and end up separated from your body again. You didn't want to be alone once more.
"What?"
"Thanos." You repeated again, glancing out the window into the now-darkened sky to make sure you were no longer on Vormir. You couldn't trust yourself. "Loki, I saw him. He's got more stones. He found the Tesseract."
Loki pushed you away, only to wrap his hands firmly around your arms. The fear he had hidden so well moments ago was dancing like fire in his eyes.
"That's impossible," he said slowly, and you weren't sure if those words were for you, or if they were an attempt to convince himself. "You hid the Tesseract yourself, you took it from me and-"
"I know what I did." You snapped. You winced as Loki recoiled away from you ever-so-slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm just... Look, you have to believe me Loki. Please. I was on Vormir, or at least my spirit was. The guardian of the soul stone was there, it spoke to me, I-"
"I believe you." Loki's soft whisper stopped the rambling thoughts that were pouring out of your mouth, and you nearly cried in relief at his words. His expression softened as he took in your torn, distressed expression, and he kissed your forehead softly.
"I believe you." He repeated again, pulling you close.
"We don't have much time." Your voice felt tight in your throat as you spoke. "Right before I woke up, I saw Thanos approaching Vormir. The rest of the stones are on Earth, Loki. I think he's coming here next."
"We need to tell the others."
"Will they know what to do?"
Loki's gaze burned into yours determinedly as he took your hand and helped you up off your bed.
"All we can do is hope."
The two of you raced down the hall, pounding on every door you passed as you tried to wake everyone up at once. Tired groans of protest echoed from within a few rooms, only encouraging you to knock even louder on the Avengers' doors.
"Everyone up!" You exclaimed. You couldn't ignore the way your voice and hands trembled as you made your way down the hall. "Emergency meeting, now!"
The Compound slowly came to life once more as you and Loki reached the end of the hall, and the two of you were met with numerous confused and somewhat alarmed looks.
"What's going on?" Steve asked, effortlessly keeping up with your strides as you made your way to the meeting room.
"Y/N had a vision." Loki explained, taking your hand and giving it a small squeeze in an attempt to comfort you. "Thanos is coming."
"What!?" Bruce's shocked exclamation echoed out from behind you as he jogged to keep up. "We were monitoring his whereabouts, just a few hours ago he was still light years away from Earth looking for the other five infinity stones-"
"Yeah, well, he's managed to get two more," You answered as you sat yourself down in a chair in the meeting room. Loki sat close beside you, resting his knee against yours in a silent gesture, as if to communicate he was right by your side through all of this.
"He's on Vormir as we speak," you continued as everyone took their seats around the table. "He's looking for the soul stone. That's infinity stone number four. He'll be coming for us next."
"How do you know that?" Natasha's question sounded out from the other side of the room.
"There's six stones in total, right?"
Your question earned slow nods from the Avengers sitting around you.
"I saw his glove. He's got the power stone -- as we know -- as well as the reality stone, and now the space stone too."
"The Tesseract was destroyed along with Asgard." Thor remarked, frowning as he took in your words. You looked over at Loki quickly, the two of you exchanging anxious glances, before you looked back at Thor and shook your head.
"The Tesseract was... misplaced." You answered slowly.
Everyone flinched as Thor banged his fist against the table, his gaze immediately shifting away from you as realization burned in his eyes.
"Loki!"
"I assure you brother-"
"I knew it was a bad idea bringing Rock of Ages here onto the team." Tony interrupted pointing an accusatory finger at Loki. Several other Avengers nodded in agreement.
"It wasn't his fault!" You exclaimed loudly. The room felt silent as everyone frowned at you in confusion. "It was mine. I should've destroyed it but I didn't. I just opened a portal and... threw it in."
"Do you know where it went?" Steve asked you.
"At the time, I didn't. I had no idea Thanos was out there looking for the stones at the same time. I just wanted that thing far away from us. It's caused enough trouble, and we didn't need any more."
Loki squeezed your hand and gave you a soft smile as he heard your reply.
"There are two stones left," you continued, glancing around the room worriedly as you thought about the threat of Thanos looming over your team like a dark shadow. "Stephen is guarding the time stone downtown. Assuming he's kept his guard up as usual, he'll be one step ahead of Thanos and he'll already be taking precautions to keep it out of his reach."
You paused, glancing nervously over at Vision. His eyes met yours in understanding, and he gave the slightest nod in acknowledgement.
"The other stone," you continued quietly. "Is right here in this room with us."
A strange humming sound caused a hushed silence to fall over the Compound. You frowned, straining your ears as you tried to listen.
"Does anyone else hear that-"
Tony's question was cut off by an explosion that took out the entire side wall of the Compound. The force of the blast knocked you to the ground, and your ears rang violently as you tried to orient yourself once more with your surroundings.
"This is too easy. Everyone in one room together, how... pathetic."
You glanced up to see Thanos looming over everyone, an already victorious grin on his face as he examined the aftermath of the blast he had caused.
"I would've thought you'd make it more difficult for me."
The stones on Thanos' gauntlet began to glow, and you felt an arm yank you backwards and into their grasp before a ray of purple light blasted throughout the room. You glanced behind you to find Loki, his jaw clenched as he stared in fear towards Thanos, before casting a protective spell over the two of you.
You tried to pull away, to gather up the other members of the team and bring them to safety, but Loki's grip was firm and unrelenting.
"They need help!" You exclaimed in protest. "Everyone's vulnerable, all our defense and weapons are two floors down-"
"You go over there, and you'll get killed." Loki muttered through gritted teeth. "I can't lose you. Stay here."
"But-"
"Stay here!"
Loki trembled as he tried to keep his shield up. Pressing yourself closer to him, you cast the strongest protective spell you knew and placed it overtop of his. Green and gold magic intertwined together, forming a tightly-knit dome over the two of you.
"I think I can get Bruce," you whispered, nodding towards the corner of the room. "He's not very far-"
Your idea was suddenly interrupted as Thanos raised his gauntlet, and the soul stone began to glow.
You watched in horror as every member of your team outside of your protective dome was wrapped in an orange aura, and lifted off the ground.
"No!" You yelled, stumbling forward and pushing your protective spell further outwards in an attempt to save those closest to you. A spark of energy backfired, burning your hands and causing you to stumbled back with a cry of pain.
"I can't get to them," you gasped, glancing at Loki in horror. "I can't get past the soul stone."
Thanos heard your words, and he shifted his gaze in your direction with narrowed eyes.
"Why are you doing this?" You demanded, watching as Steve and Tony, among others, struggled to be released from the titan's invisible grasp.
"Those who play hero only bring more war," Thanos stated, glancing behind your shoulder at Loki and smiling coldly. "I'm putting an end to this child's play, once and for all."
"Let them go!" You yelled, reaching forward in a weak attempt to save your teammates. Your gesture only earned a piteous laugh from the titan.
"You're choosing to play a bold game, mystic." Thanos continued. "By keeping that shield of yours up, you're creating more pain. All you are doing is delaying your death."
"It'll give us more time to plot yours." Loki retorted from behind you with gritted teeth.
"Bold as ever, Asgardian." Thanos smirked. "But not strong enough. Neither of you are."
You glanced desperately over at Tony for any sort of help, but all you exchanged were helpless glances.
"There will be no more heroes," Thanos boomed, raising his gauntlet triumphantly. The soul stone began to glow once more. "No more martyrs. No more humans. Only gods."
"I believe in you, kid." Tony gasped out. "You can do this."
"I can't." You cried out, your heart racing as you glanced between your teammates and Thanos. "I don't know how."
You managed to catch a determined nod from Tony, before a loud snap reverberated through the room, knocking you and Loki backwards.
There was a gust of cold air as Thanos opened a portal with the space stone, smirking victoriously down at the two of you.
"We'll meet again, mystic."
Thanos pulled a now-unconscious Vision towards him with his gauntlet and disappeared, the portal closing as soon as it opened. You lowered your shield to run for your teammates, who were still hovering unconscious in mid-air, only to be stopped by Loki.
"Look."
You watched in horror as, one by one, each member of the Avengers dissolved into ash and vanished before your eyes. Crying out in disbelief, you lowered your protection spell and raced forward before Loki could protest.
"Tony!"
You tried to reach for his hand, to pull him out of the orange aura that held him captive. As soon as your fingers brushed his, he turned to ash immediately.
You sunk to your knees, the sudden silence that fell over the Compound feeling like a graveyard. You heard Loki run towards Thor, calling his name over and over again, before he too fell silent.
You caught his gaze from across the room, and a cold chill shook your insides as his eyes mirrored the same terror you felt inside yourself.
Unable to find the strength to stand, you crawled over to where he sat and buried your face in his shoulder. As soon as Loki's arms wrapped around you, you were unable to stop the sobs that wracked your body. You felt him trembling and realized that he, too, was crying.
"They're all gone." You whispered, your voice distorted through your tears. "Everyone's gone."
Loki didn't reply. Instead, he pulled you closer and ran his hands in small circles upon your back, almost as if he were memorizing the feel of you in his arms.
The sound of your cries echoed out through the Compound and reverberated back towards the two of you, piercing your skin like little knives. You squeezed shut your eyes, hoping that this was all a bad dream and -- when you opened your eyes again -- the Avengers would be right back in this room with you and Loki, ready to formulate a plan of attack.
When you opened your eyes, however, nothing changed.
There was only one infinity stone left.
Everyone was gone, leaving only you and Loki.
Thanos had won.
END OF PART ONE.
Taglist: @startrekkingaroundasgard @delightfulheartdream @justasmisunderstoodasloki @marvels-mischief @k8obr @pastyoverlord265 @lowkeytesss @levylovegood
Taglist for this fic only: @littleredstarfish @treblebeth @taylordani03
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Text
Flash From The Past ✩
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Request: I have a request and I was asking if you cans do a ghost!Luke Patterson x alive!reader but she is older. Like in the 90s they were but then he died and she got older. But Julie had went through his journal or stuff and found a picture of them and he wrote a song like the Scene when he and Julie went to his parents house but the reader. I’m really bad at explaining things I just wanted to request an angst story please :) <3 Like a little of they’re romantic relationship and then show the aftermath of after he died and Julie kind a like confronts her with Luke like ep 8 <3
Warning: Angst, probably some grammar errors.
Word Count: 1,401
Song Used: “Somebody To You” By The Vamps
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“Luke be careful your gonna hit the car in front!” I scolded him as were were entering the drive in movie parking lot. He dismissed me with a sway of his hand. “I’m an excellent driver love, no need to worry” He smiled at me before making an abrupt stop.
“LUKE!” I yelled at him. He just cheekily smiled at me and shrugged. “That’s his fault for going so slow then stopping not mine” I rolled my eyes. “Nothing ever your fault” I said. He looked at me after he finished parking. “You know it baby, I’m an angel” “Yea, yea, keep thinking that” I leaned forward and pecked his lips.
I stretched myself to the back seat to get the food and blankets we had brought and opened my door to get out of his truck. He also got out and slid the trunks small door down so we had space to lay down. We put the blankets and pillow where we wanted them and cuddled up to watch the movie.
After the movie was done I had my head on Luke’s shoulder, he rested his on top of mine. “I love you” I froze. That’s the first time he’s ever said that, I haven’t even said it yet. My eyes started to water and I lifted my head up to look at his eyes. “Yea?” I whispered. “Yea. I’m completely in love with you” he smiled at me. I leaned forward and kissed him like never before. The kiss lasted a few seconds before I pulled away. “I’m in love with you too” “Yea?” He whispered. “Yea.” I giggled and kissed him again.
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“Shall we try this again?” Julie questioned from her keyboard looking towards the band. “Yes please. But remind us later there’s some Sunset Curve songs to show you.” Luke told Julie while standing up. Julie got intrigued and moved her mic to the side “Oh, show me now.” Luke nodded and went to reach for his song book next to him.
He looked at his notebook strangely. “Home is where my horse is?” He turned around “Reggie stop putting your country songs in my journal.” He side glanced at Reggie while throwing the paper out of his notebook into the guitar case. “That was a gift!” Reggie said offended. Luke rolled his eyes “thanks buddy.” He patted Reggie on the arm.
Luke turned back to Julie handing her his notebook. “I dog-eared the ones I think you would slay”. Julie started going through the pages until she reached a specific page that wasn’t dog- eared but caught her interest. “Somebody to you?” She questioned. Luke quickly got defensive. “That one isn’t dog- eared” he protested reaching for his notebook but Julie pulled it further away. “ “Look at me now I’m falling can’t even talk still stumbling” wow Luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” she smirked at Luke. “That one is actually about-” Luke cut Alex off. “No one it’s about no one if you go to the next page there is one I think you’d like”. Julie dropped the subject since she saw Luke didn’t like talking about but she was still very interested.
Band practice couldn’t have gone worse Luke wasn’t focused after Julie mentioned the song. Y/N has been stuck in his head causing him to mess up. “Let’s take a break yea I’ll be back in an hour” Julie got up from her keyboard and walked out. “I’m out, gonna go hang with Willie” Alex disappeared. “Ima go see what Ray is up to” Reggie said and disappeared as well. Leaving Luke to entertain himself.
He couldn’t stop thinking about you. Where you married? Did you have kids? Did you move away? What happened after you found out he died? How did you cope with it?
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Standing in front of the mirror making sure your outfit looked good you heard the house phone go off. You rushed downstairs and picked up the phone.
“Y/L/N Residence” you heard someone sniffle on the other side. “Y/N their gone” “Who’s gone?” you questioned. “Bobby talk to me! Who’s gone?” Panic started sinking in. “The boys they got food poisoning they’re dead Y/N” the phone fell from your hand and you dropped to your knees. You truly felt like you were dying. Tears where coming out of your eyes. The boys you have grown up with the love of your life was just taken away from you in a matter of hours. You were meant to see them preform tonight they weren’t supposed to go. Not yet. They were too young they had so much to live for.
It’s been two weeks you were invited to their funerals but you haven’t been able to leave your room yet. All you’ve done is cried until you fall asleep and repeat the same cycle everyday. Apart of you is missing and you don’t know if you’ll get through this. You’ve thrown everything that reminds you of them specially Luke in a box and told your mom to throw it away. (She didn’t throw it away) His shirts, guitar picks, hoodies, pictures, everything. You can’t bear it. It hurts a lot. Everything hurts. Your not gonna go to the funerals you can’t just stand there and get condolences from people who never really cared. You can’t pretend your ok.
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“Julie you sure this is a good idea?” Luke questioned. They were on your doorstep. Julie had this great plan to give you a letter that she made Luke write for you. If you seemed stable enough she would tell you about her and the band. For now it was just the letter. The closure that you needed that you didn’t get back in 1995. Julie found you through your Instagram account apparently you became a photographer. One of her classmates is your son so he gave Julie the address. “I’m positive....um.. if it’s too much Luke you could go and I’ll tell you how it went.” Luke shook his head “no I’m good” Julie nodded. She reached forward and ringed the doorbell.
You answered the door and Luke’s breath hitched as soon as he saw you. He wanted to step forward and hug you and apologize for what he might have put you through but he can’t. You look almost the same just as beautiful but time has aged you. You and Julie started talking. She explained how she had found this song and a letter written at the bottom of the song page addressed to you. So she decided to bring it over. As you read the song you kept it together no tears. Luke is someone you thought about each day since the moment he passed.
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It’s been 8 years since Luke passed away you are now 25 and have been traveling the world. Staying in Loz Feliz only made you sad you started your photograph career and have been traveling here and there. You haven’t meet anyone nearly as good as Luke so your still single. You don’t know if it’s guilt or if your the only one holding yourself back from dating again but you always put it off and say that you don’t have time for that. Will you ever go back to California? You don’t know.
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After reading the letter you thanked Julie and she walked away you closed the door and slid down against it finally letting go of the tears you’ve been holding back. Things possibly couldn’t get worse, you thought you’d move on find someone who was just as great as Luke but you didn’t, you married someone you didn’t love and ended up getting a divorce. Having a kid and moving back with your mom in Loz Feliz. You weren’t happy. This letter didn’t make matters better your even sadder now it was like a flash from the past. Knowing that you could have had a future with Luke made your heart ache. He was your person, no one else.
On the other side of the door Luke stood there completely shocked that you didn’t react at all to his letter. Did you move on? Did you even care about him anymore? Was he only now a distant memory? What he didn’t know was that you were crying on the other side.
He disappeared back into the studio thinking about you. Maybe in a different life.
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Sorry this request took so long I have been extremely busy because I had to get surgery but I finished it now. Hope you like it :)
@charliegillespiewife
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