#i’ve gone from -100 interest to like. 60 interest.

[omgthatdress]

Re-living my childhood and working on doing a fashion history spam of the American Girl dolls!

Oh my god I can’t begin to tell you what a huge part of my childhood those dolls were. Before I go on, let me clarify my family’s financial circumstance growing up: I was a pretty solidly middle-class only child. I definitely wasn’t rich, but my mom was willing to spend a lot of money on buying me a shitload of American Girl stuff because A.) she thought they were cool, and B.) they provided a much smarter alternative to Barbies. And when I grew up and got too old for them, I was able to give my stuff over to my younger cousins.

Looking at what the brand has to offer now, it’s pretty clear that the brand has changed over time and that the emphasis has gone from the historical dolls to the modern ones. Honestly, that’s not a 100% terrible thing. I fully embrace change as a part of the universe, and if it’s a part of the survival of the brand, so be it. As long as the historical dolls remain in tact and the brand integrity is respected. And for the most part, until very recent years, it looks like it has been.

Mattel bought the American Girl brand in 1998, and from then on, you can see the brand shifting away from the original five dolls. I’m going to get waaay more into this with the spam, but really, the historical dolls until very recently have actually remained pretty great. If there’s one really broad critique I could give, it’s that the overall color palette skews towards the modern, with a lot of very bright colors and a heavy emphasis on pink, but when taken individually, the pieces remain very accurate.

HERE’S THE THING! In 2016, a new historical girl was released: Maryellen, repping the 1950s. She’s blonde and has blue eyes, following shortly on Julie, who repped the 1970s and also had blonde hair and blue eyes. You can kind of see a theme developing here. The girls from the 30s, 50, 70s, 80s, and 90s are all blonde with blue eyes. You’d think that girls in the 20th century were only blondes. But anyway I’m getting away from the point. Maryellen was released with only TWO books! The fuck?! Maryellen’s collection remained the same very immersive collection that I love about the brand, but clearly, shit’s changing.

The next historical dolls, Nenea (repping Hawaii after Pearl Harbor), Melody (repping Black girls, Motown, and civil rights in the 60s), Courtney (repping blonde hair blue eyed girls with 80s nostalgia and very little historical engagement), Claudie, (Black girl in the 1920s Harlem Renaissance) and Isabelle and Nicki (again blonde girls repping 90s nostalgia with little historical engagement) all only have two books. The brand has LITERALLY been diminished. The books were an equally important part of the playset, not only providing context for the garments and objects you were playing with, providing REAL, often complex lessons about history, making history feel real and relatable, but they fleshed out the girls, their lives, and the worlds they lived in. They made what you were playing with more than just a playset, more than just a dollhouse or Barbie accessories, they were a whole universe for girls to explore.

Like I said at the beginning, I didn’t grow up rich. I definitely had more privilege than others out there, but I still wasn’t the rich kid villain from a 90s kids movie. I had a lot of American Girl shit because my mom saw the value in the brand and was willing to spend a lot of money on it in a way that she wouldn’t be willing to spend a lot of money on Barbies.

Honestly, I don’t know the toy industry, I don’t know what little girls today want out of their dolls. I know that times change, and that what’s beloved in one generation isn’t necessarily going to be carry over to the next. But I find it hard to believe that little girls straight up no longer are interested in history, and that moms no longer want to give their daughters toys that will actually teach them things. I’ve read a lot of articles about how the brand is struggling, and I don’t think it’s a generational divide. Mattel has fucked up the brand, and I am not just saying that out of Boomer toxic nostalgia that says that everything from the past is GOOD, everything today is BAD, and that anything that changes is inherently not only bad but a personal insult. The stuff that made these expensive dolls worth buying just isn’t there.

[epitomereally]

You’re so talented. Every time your fan binding pictures cross my dash I stare at them for *hours*. The amount of care and detail you put into your books blows my mind. I know you talk about the process for each individual book on your fic binding posts but I wanted to ask: how do you plan your fic binds? Do you visualize what the fic would look like if it were a book while you read it? Do the colors and illustrations you choose come to you as you read the fic, or after? How does your approach to fic binding differ from your approach to writing? Etc. I’m curious about your creative process, though the technical part is also super interesting!

Ps: I love all the fics you chose to bind but I was so excited when you picked GallaPlacidia’s Ship of Theseus - probably my favorite of theirs. You have great taste 😁💚

Eek Elise THANK YOU! I’m so flattered & honored. Also always happy to talk fanbinding, especially binding design (my one true love)!

I would say planning takes the vast majority of my binding time—it’s something I love and I agonize over and I struggle with—while the actual binding often goes quite quickly! I often start with one element that I’m excited about & feel fits the the specific fic: a color or spine stitching pattern or a chapter title concept or title page (like the hand-dyed cover + birds for You Open Always or the blooming morning glories for Meet Me at Midnight) and then, because I have no chill or a single subtle bone in my body, I just roll with that element through the whole book until it’s totally exhausted (wish I could spoil some of my upcoming binds here, but you will SEE VERY SHORTLY what I mean). Every single time I make a book, around the time where I’m printing out the typeset, I feel that I’ve made a grievous error in including one more item than I should have, like it’s way too much. An example is the blackletter ornate font I ended up using for the title of You Open Always—you can see in my draft Illustrator document where I was trying out tons of concepts using stock images that most of my title page concepts were with a much simpler, more modern font that I used for the chapter numbers. However, in the end, I’ve always been happy that I’ve gone completely 100% on my vision, even if it’s a lot. In that way, I feel like it’s like writing—I may be incorporating all the elements I want to see imperfectly and have doubts about them, but I’m still putting everything I want in there & I’m proud and happy for that, even if I still have more things to learn.

One last design element I want to highlight: BODY FONT! This is something I am still learning so much about and the Renegade Discord has been incredibly helpful (a recent message I sent: what font would you find in a pulpy 60s mystery paperback?). A gorgeous title page or chapter header or cover is great for setting the mood when you open a book, but the body font is 90%+ of what you see when reading, so I spend a TON of time trying different fonts to fit the vibe of the fic. I have no thoughts or advice or guidelines though—it’s like porn & you just know it when you see it.

I also get a ton of inspiration from fellow fanbinders, both on the Renegade Discord server & here on tumblr. A lot of time, I see a technique or cover or typeset and think that that would look incredible for XYZ fic. An extremely abbreviated list of people who inspire me daily: @a-gay-old-time (Emma, you're a BLESSING), @queercore-curriculum, @bindsbymunchkin, @pleasantboatpress (one of the most welcoming members of the Renegade server, in addition to being an incredibly inspiring binder), @chubsonthemoon, @no-name-publishing, @zhalfirin-binds, @dontcallmebree, @amywaterwings & @runawaymarbles. Sorry for all the tags, but want this as a resource for others! I would absolutely love to know how all of you come up with your artistic vision for the binds that you do (and please tag me if you post!). 

P.s. Ship of Theseus was a request from QC but I am SO HAPPY they requested it, because it’s one of my favorites too :)

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

ok ok ok why and how does the d&d movie look potentially decent based on that trailer???

[absynthe--minded]

so what is Up with jirt's math

short answer is it's incomprehensible, because our boy is a proud entry in the long tradition of science fiction and fantasy authors not being able to do fucking math

now, I am not a mathematician, but Carl Hostetter, NASA Engineer, might as well be, and I am eternally grateful that he got to trial run this insanity before unleashing it onto the rest of us, but since I am not a mathematician I will try instead to explain some context for things like "why this happened" and "why Tolkien took this approach to his work", because that's something I've not seen a lot of conversation about and I think it's important.

Tolkien wrote the fragments and passages we see in The Nature of Middle-Earth largely at the very end of his life. These were some of the last things he was actively working on in terms of worldbuilding. (if anyone was curious, the last thing narratively that he was working on seems to be the specifics of Aredhel and Maeglin's flight from Nan Elmoth, particularly travel time and how far Eöl would have gone and how long it would have taken him to get to specific places.) the thing that's relevant here imo is that Tolkien at this point is hardcore into a phase that I sort of informally call 'Retcon Everything To Make It Realistic'. he's rewriting the cosmology of his world, he's reworking timelines, he's adding in additional details and doing math on population tables and growth rates.

why is he doing this?

there are a lot of factors, but the one that seems most relevant is that the critical reception to The Lord of the Rings was... not great, when it came out. It was a massive commercial success, and had a following of counterculture and hippie types, and garnered fans who grew up with The Hobbit, and wasn't a failure at all? but as a work of literature, the only seriously positive critical response at first was W.H. Auden, who loved the story and praised it often. Tolkien says in the foreword to the second edition that there were several critics who disliked his books, and he answers them sassily and snappily in the same quick-witted fashion we all know and love, but despite that, he was deeply sensitive to criticism. He was forever doubting the viability of his own work, and at one point he apologized to his publishers both for writing The Lord of the Rings the way he had and for the fact that the Silmarillion probably wouldn't be publishable. He wrote first and foremost for himself, and much of what he wrote he didn't expect anyone to ever want to read.

but by the 60s, LotR was a solid success, and he was tasked with working on the Silm, and it was hard going. The earlier drafts of the story, while they maintain a lot of their integrity (the Quenta, as preserved in The Shaping of Middle-Earth, is drawn from heavily in the published Silm, and that's quite early), have magical or fantastical elements that don't have rational explanations, and there's a lot of whimsy and innocence and fairytale vibes to the stuff that's earliest of all. this is a problem because the criticisms of LotR were usually (not universally! but often) centered around failure to understand fantasy as a genre and to engage with it on its own terms, largely because, well, this was the first time it had been done, you know? and I want to say that I can't prove this, but my best guess is that the criticism and the frustration with what would become high fantasy genre conventions and the inability to understand what Tolkien was doing - an inability that contemporary audiences don't understand because we live in a world shaped by him - are part of what sparked this frantic series of revisions and reconsiderations. The other part, of course, is Catholicism.

Tolkien of course could never make up his mind about anything, that's the nature of the beast when dealing with his drafts, but the direction things take after LotR was published tends to emphasize two things. The first is realism - the Sun and Moon are astronomical bodies, the world has always been round, here are the exact details and explanations of these various people groups and places and how often they reproduced - and the second is that he wanted to be clear about his own personal beliefs. There were IRL people who worshiped the Valar as gods, and even while Tolkien was alive he was engaging with the fact that the audiences who read his books were assuming he 100% believed or endorsed things based on their presence in the text. So his retcons and reframings tend to emphasize both plausibility and his own Catholic worldview, in the attempt to make it clear to critics and fans both who he is and what he believes, and to control the perceptions of his stories.

At the same time, he's very deliberately writing things distinct from Catholicism, and in at least one letter to his priest he says that he knows some story elements go against Catholic doctrine but he finds them fictionally interesting - he's not doing a C.S. Lewis and insisting that it's all allegorical. And I tend to think that if the critical and popular responses to LotR had been both kinder and a little bit less unhinged in their nature (keep in mind there were people calling him up on the phone at like four AM because his number was public) we would have gotten a very different look at the latter part of his writing career.

tl;dr why is his math bad? because people were mean to him, and because hippies.

[countessren]

The Bad Batch || Writing Prompts

1. If we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

2. How is it that when something happens it’s always you guys?

3. I...I didn’t think we would get this far.

4. Please put that down, that’s not for playing.

5. If I had a credit for every time we get in trouble I would be the richest person in existence.

6. Don’t tell me...you broke the hyperdrive.

7. You can’t say that! At least not in front of the child!

8. What does this do?/If you want to find out, you’ll have to close that door.

9. You know I didn’t mean that/Well it sure sounded like you did.

10. If I wanted to waste my time, I would have asked for your opinion.

11. Don’t put me on the spot, I wasn’t listening.

12. Don’t look at me, he did it.

13. I can’t help it, you’re too important to me.

14. If you’re aiming to piss me off, we’re well past that point right now.

15. If one more person damages this ship, I’m taking Lula.

16. I’m sorry...but I can’t do this anymore.

17. Don’t accuse me of being the jerk, I’m not the one who needs to develop a personality.

18. Give me one good reason as to why I shouldn’t punch you in your perfect face.

19. So, what’s the plan?/ You’re telling me that you didn’t come up with one?!

20. Awwww, you’re so adorable when you blush.

21. Get away from me, you’ve annoyed me now.

22. When this is all over, I’m going to take you somewhere far away from all this mess/ I’d like that.

23. If you touch my stuff without asking one more time, I swear.../ You’ll what? Pummel me to death?/ If that’s what it takes, then yes. I will.

24. I don’t think I can do that. I just...I don’t know.

25. Did you...did you just compliment me?

26. The systems are fried because someone didn’t fix the wiring issue!

27. Stop blaming me for your mistakes!

28. I’m tired of trying to fight so hard for someone who doesn’t even want me.

29. Prove it hotshot.

30. You should be more careful, you don’t want anything drastic to happen now do you?

31. You’ve got to be kidding me, I’m not wearing that thing.

32. You know you can tell me anything, right?

33. I’m a little busy right now, but sure, what can I do for you?

34. I’m fine, honestly it’s just a scratch/ That is not a scratch, what are you talking about?

35. Stay awake for me, please!

36. I can’t lose you, please just...just come back to me.

37. Could you stay? Just for a little while, please?

38. You really think I’m a valuable part of this team? Even after that?

39. Please don’t ask me to do that, I can’t.

40. You have to be more careful, one day you’ll come back to me in pieces.

41. I’m sorry, forget I said anything.

42. If I may/ No!/ ...Apologies.

43. Can I interest anyone in a vacation?

44. You can’t keep going around and destroying things/ Oh yeah, watch me!

45. This is never going to work/ You look beautiful darling, stop worrying.

46. Can’t we just relax for the day? I’m tired after yesterday.

47. The stars...can’t do it...not today.

48. I’d laugh but I would prefer to keep my life.

49. Don’t test me.

50. Oh please, I would rather die than be partnered up with him for this mission.

51. Wait, remind me again why we are doing this.

52. I love you so much, I want you to know that in case-/ In case nothing. Nothing will happen. Don’t ever say that again.

53. You’re heavy, get off me.

54. For the love of god, please just be nice to each other.

55. I care too much, so sue me.

56. How dare you, you will treat me with respect.

57. Can I...can I give you a hug?

58. I uh...I don’t know how we managed to get out of that alive/ Well, now that we have, you owe me.

59. Just keep your eyes on me, don’t turn around.

60. Is this...reg...bothering you?

61. I wouldn’t shoot the messenger if I were you/ But it sends a message/ Yeah, the wrong type of message!

62. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to fix this ship, but I’m so over having to stop every five minutes.

63. Honestly, you’re the only person that keeps me calm.

64. Well maybe if you listened to me instead of that damn holopad we wouldn’t be in this situation.

65. I’m really sorry/ Go away, I’m not talking to you.

66. It hurst...it hurst so much/ Just stay with me, don’t you dare close your eyes.

67. If we could stay here all day, you know I would hold on to you and never let go right?

68. Cuddles?/ ...Fine.

69. I’m innocent I swear/ I know you, you are far from innocent.

70. Uh oh/ What? / Nothing...nothing at all.

71. Tech said I was bleeding internally, that’s where all the blood is supposed to be!/ Wrecker...no.

72. I can help, just let me-/ No, you’ve done enough.

73. I...I’m cold/ Well that’s unfortunate, I can’t do anything about the weather.

74. You inconsiderate, lying, two-faced prick!

75. If you don’t remove your hand from my shoulder, you won’t have hands at all.

76. Kill me, but don’t hurt them. Please...

77. Is anyone else having trouble figuring out how we are all still alive?

78. I could seriously just-/ Just what sweetheart?

79. I want you know that I’m sorry if things weren’t easy for you, but it wasn’t easy for me too. I had to be strong for everyone else when you fell apart...and it broke me too.

80. You’re not the only one who’s having second thoughts.

81. Please just...just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it.

82. I could honestly just sleep forever right now/ Come here...

83. I love you, but it’s okay if you don’t feel the same.

84. This isn’t you, you have to fight it.

85. Give me a chance, I’ll prove to you that I care/ You have one more chance, otherwise I’m gone.

86. Shoot me once, shame on you. Shoot me twice...yeah that’s my mistake.

87. Ow!/ You deserved that/ What did you do that for!?/ You know exactly what for!

88. It’s so cold in here/ Here, have my blanket.

89. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so mesmerising in all my life/ I have.

SOULMATE AU PROMPTS

90. The first words you say to your soulmate are tattooed on your arm.

91. You don’t see colour until you meet your soulmate.

92. You can hear your soulmates thoughts.

93. When you touch your soulmate, you see glimpses of what your future will be like together.

94. You can feel your soulmates pain.

95. You can feel intense pain whenever your soulmate is in danger.

96. You have random visions of what your soulmate sees, but neither of you know it until you meet.

97. You have a clock that counts down to when you will meet your soulmate.

98. You have the same tattoo/scars as your soulmate.

99. One of your eyes is the same colour of your soulmates.

100. The name of your soulmate is tattooed somewhere on your person.

PLEASE GIVE CREDIT IF YOU USE ANY! WHETHER IT BE A LIKE, REBLOG OR @MENTION! Requests will be open as of 8th of June, so feel free to flood my inbox until then! You can also comment below should you wish to request anything.

[chosenimagines]

-JEALOUSY-

01 Damn! You are telling me this is what I could have had?!

02 Could he/she/they make you feel this good?

03 Betrayed! Betrayed by you…

04 Stop flirting with my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner right now!

05 I cannot accept that

06 You did what?!

07 What is this?

08 Of course it is your fault!

09 I am so done

10 Infront of me! How is it possible this happens infront of my eyes?!

11 How is it that I am always getting stuck with you?

12 They trusted you! I trusted you!

13 I am no hero! I have never been a hero. No one wants me to be the hero

14 I am still in love with you/them/him/her!

15 God, I can’t fucking stand you

16 For the first time in my life I am doing what is good for me and not your jealous ass

17 Then go with them/him/her!

18 Of course you are happier with them/her/him

19 I don’t want you to be with them/her/him

20 Were you going to tell me about that?

21 It was just a dance

22 I saw you

23 That never should have happened

24 It was just a kiss

25 Do you have an issue with it?

26 Imagine THAT WAS A BORDER NOBODY SHOULD CROSS!

27 That- you’re mine!

28 You fucking promised me that you would stop that!

29 With them/him/her?!

30 You are sick!

31 I can't loose you to them/him/her!

32 Is that really appropriate?

33 Oh, you are actually seeing them/her/him?

34 You make me choose?!

35 You have everything I want, you little bitch!

36 Not again!

37 I am sick of your jealousy!

38 A party kiss? Only a party kiss?!

39 Are you fucking serious?!

40 You want to meet them/him/her?

41 I can’t believe you’ve done this

42 THIS IS CALLED CHEATING

43 Hell yeah I am jealous!

44 You are being ridiculous

45 I wanted to make you jealous

46 I did that on purpose

47 Jealousy looks ugly on you

48 Am I dreaming?

49 I am NOT jealous

50 Don’t worry, I’m all yours

51 I hate it when they  look at you

52 What would I be jealous about?

53 Oh sure! Go and see them/him/her!

54 Woohoohoohoo, you’re jealous!

55 You’ve got something that I want

56 Please don’t make me choose

57 Should I be?

58 What has happened to forever?

59 Look… I don’t like you spending time with them/her/him

60 Why aren’t you answering your phone?

61 You are ridiculous

62 It’s nothing

63 Shoving your tongue down someone else’s throat is NOT being friendly

64 That’s JUST what happened

65 You had to steal it

66 You disgust me

67 Go and make out with them/her/him! I am out of here

68 That is just in your head!

69 Don’t give them/her/him that look

70 You make me sick!

71 You will never see them/her/him again

72 I want you to delete that number from his phone

73 Never talk to them/him/her again! Ever.

74 They/her/him are not going to have what belongs to me

75 I am pretty sure I saw a spark there

76 Why can’t I be the first one that you think of? Why is it always her/him/them?

77 I don't believe you

78 You lied to me and now you are talking about truth and honesty

79 It was kinda cute actually

80 You’ve always been my top priority, but whenever she’s in trouble, you leave me hanging.

81 I know you told me not to worry, but I’m so afraid that someone better will want you, and you’ll leave me.

82 You have someone that belongs to me

83 I can't take it anymore

84 Forget it! You are just a fucking bastard

85 Do/es they/she/he make your heart beat like this?!

86 I can’t believe you missed our date for this!

87 If you trusted me, you wouldn’t be so jealous.

88 I am just using you to make them/him/her jealous

89 Sometimes I wish you weren’t this beautiful. Everyone looks at you wherever you go.

90 Your jealousy is the reason for our break up

91 They/she/he just undressed you with their/her/his eyes!!!

92 Will you really let me go like this. Can they/he/she love you like I love you?

93 I never wanted to be just a friend. I wanted to be what they/he/she is to you.

94 I wanted you to be one that I wake up next to BUT YOU JUST HOOK UP WITH THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

95 Who are you?

96 They/him/her can’t have you! You are mine

97 You were never mine to begin with, but it hurts me to see you with someone else.

98 You are still in a relationship with me even though you want to be with everyone but me!

99 Am I really not enough?

100 I did not see that coming

101 Oh NOW you thought about it?!

102 You were never interested in a closed relationship, and I feel like I’m just holding you back, but I can’t bear to think of you with someone else.

103 I KNOW you are cheating on me!

104 What can I change to make you want me again?

105 I don’t need YOU AND YOUR CHEATING ASS! I CAN HAVE WHOEVER I LIKE! 

106 How could you choose them/her/him over ME?!

107 Don’t ever look at her/him/them like that again! She/he/they is/are mine!

108 If I had known you were this popular I never would have gone out with you.

109 Don’t look at them/him/her! You are MINE

110 I know it’s not your fault that he/she/they kissed you, but it still you guys freaking kissed

111 How about this: I’ll go kiss someone else too. After all, it’s just a kiss! Nothing to be jealous about, right?

112 Why did you have to love them/him/her? I would never have hurt you the way they did but they/him/her has got everything I love

113 I’ve always been second best, but now I finally want to beat you at something.

114 Because it was always them/him/her! I was always the second choice. I don’t want to be second choice because of them/him/her

115 When I think of my future, you’re always there, but for you, it’s always been they/her/him.

116 I can’t believe you would let me go for a scumbag like them/her/him! 

117 Why can’t you kiss me like you kissed them/her/him?

118 You said you would love me, so do it properly, stop pining for them/her/him.

119 Soooo… who’s that bitch?

120 Me? Jealous?! Never.

121 You have to go with… *cough* them/her/him

123 Just shut up! I can’t believe you tried to make me jealous by cheating on me!

124 SO GO FOR THEM/HIM/HER IF THEY ARE SO HOT! 

125 Everything that happened to me is your fault! You are always pushing me into your shadow

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to part 1 of the finale to the BackupKingdom2 saga! We’re in our final ambition now, let’s check how Liz’s post-divorce-bloodbath is going..

Oh yes, excellent. Our path to death-achievement-glory has been paved with so many executions that wherever I look I see npcs crying..

..comforting each other..

..and in Agnes' case, coming straight to Liz to.. ask for mercy for the populace I guess?? Bruh. I can't believe we even brought down AGNES, truly this is the saddest kingdom on earth. Amazing job, Liz, you've definitely earned your place in the tyrant hall of fame!

Now a lesser player would be like "oh, maybe we should chill a little on the insane tyrant thing, finish the Pirate/Noble arc cause we've been dragging this war out so the pirates/guildsmen would keep spawning and it should have ended like 20 quests ago" and true, we could just end it, we ran a very effective operation around here, shoutout to MVPs Donius and Bellinda and their 'seductive' legendary traits:

They bedded them and Liz beheaded them, the power of teamwork! So one could say that we should consider raising kingdom morale now because everyone is so depressed but I think, if anything, now is the time to ramp it up and go for some of the other morally questionable achievements! Like Machiavelli said, you should commit all your atrocities at once! What do you think, Liz? Ready to get atrocious?

-OH FUCK YEA, I’M ENRAGED, I DROPPED MY FIDDLE IN THE PIT AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SERVANT TO GET ME A NEW ONE!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME >:(

Aw I’m sorry Liz, but I’m sure you the upcoming suffering of your subjects will cheer you up!

-Ok motherfuckers, by order of the Crown aka ME -you hear that Rae?? ME, NOT YOU. God I want to execute you so bad, fucking ingrate, do you remember what rags you were wearing when I hired you??  

Let’s get this back on track, Liz.

-Right, so by order of the Crown, Magus Olivia and Spymaster Spainot are given COMPLETE LEGAL IMMUNITY to do whatever the fuck they want in the interest of earning achievements, so don’t you people come crying to me cause I don’t give one tiny chinchilla crap about your health and livelihoods. If you need me for something actually important, I'll be at the gates, executing anyone who doesn't like my fiddle playing.

-Oh man, this folksy peasant hat isn’t protecting my ears enough.

-THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR YOUR LITTLE MURMUR, DID YOU  -YOUR MAJESTY NO I ONLY MEANT MY EARS WERE COLD -WELL ALL OF YOUR BODY’S ABOUT TO BE COLD NOW! CONSTABLE, THROW THIS PEASANT IN THE PIT

-Death marker? I hardly know 'er!

So the Constable npc has this little Billy Elliot subplot going, I'm pretty sure he has the 'drunkard' fatal flaw because he was always at the tavern so I had Bellinda try to hire him to perform in one of her plays just to see what would happen and it actually worked, and now he moonlights as an actor! It's cute but it also takes forever for him to come arrest people.

-THEY LOVE ME ❤️😁 -CONSTABLE WHATSYOURNAME, COME OVER HERE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR YOU'RE NEXT FOR THE PIT

-No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, when someone dies😢

In the background you can see that Bellinda just got a pregnancy bump, it’s her lovechild with Donius, I for real can’t keep these two apart. Anyway, the time has come..

..to unleash Magus Olivia onto the populace.

-You know what, I'd rather not, this book is finally getting good and I'm sick of cursing peasants, it doesn't even drop their mood that much..

Oh no, Olivia my beloved, we're not cursing them, we're going for the 'Well Done' achievement!

-NO WAY.

WAY.

-Won't I be executed??

You have immunity! You can do whatever you want!! And, AND, once you complete it, because I know it's tiring, I'll give you a magic skeletal parrot as a gift!! Edward got all the materials for it while treasure-hunting, you'd think I'd let him keep it but that's not the kind of shop I'm running here.

-This is my face of pure, childlike happiness!

Good lord, it’s terrifying, please don’t look at me like that.

-Alright, time to roll down my sleeves so they look more sinister and do this thing.

You can do it, Olivia!

-Of course I can, save your reassurance for the flops that need it.

-I.. cast.. INFERNO!

...

-What?

I mean really, those are the words, "I cast inferno"? Can't you say something with more evil magical flair?

-Not when I have to cast it 80 fucking times I can't.

-IT BURNS, IT BURNSSSSS

Oh how the tables have turned, usually it's the witch that gets burned, huhu! Did you hear that, Olivia? Did you like my joke??

-Oh, it's beautiful!

Well it wasn't one of my best-

-Not you, you needy moron, the sight of burning flesh! I can't wait to do this 79 more times!

Alright, so everyone in the tavern has been turned into a chicken nugget, time to get some rest and check in with Spainot!

-Amazing news, Rodolfo, I just got royal permission to unlawfully lock up and interrogate whoever I want for the achievements!!!

-Darling, no offense, but aren't you a bit too shit at your job for that? -WHAT????

-FUCK YOU RODOLFO YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS -I WISH I WAS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU'D BE SUCCESSFUL AND I WOULDN'T BE MARRIED TO A BROKE LOSER

-And then he says the only reason he hasn't dumped me is he doesn't wanna be a rando npc while Batshit Liz is on an execution spree, can you believe this bullshit? How can anyone be so hurtful??

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NO PLEASE DON'T HAVE THIS CHINCHILLA MAUL ME I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

-How about you give me some marital advice, are you even listening?! Ugh.

That's right, while Olivia is inferno-ing the peasants, I've sicced Spainot on the nobility, specifically all those foreign diplomats that are always hanging in the reception hall, lagging up the place. We're going for the 100 interrogations achievement and we’ve installed a nice spiky torture chair right in the middle of the hall to save time! Now this is how we keep every stratum of society terrified enough to not realize that the person in charge is.. uh.. well you know:

-DANCE TO MY FIDDLE, PIRATE, DANCE!

-I AM!!!!!

-DANCE MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. ALL THE WAY TO THE PIT

After a couple days and several locations I feel we’re pretty close to 80 infernos!

I’d say we’ve burned a good 50-60% of the population at this point, everywhere I look I see singed townies-

-so we take this little barbecue to the palace because we’ve ran out of peasants and it’s time to start burning the foreign dignitaries. And it’s a good thing we do, because Olivia meets Nyrexis the Dragon!!!! 

Nyrexis is the human form of the dragon from a hilar quest where there’s a dragon in the kingdom and you can either befriend it or slay it, I had Bellinda befriend it:

So if you complete the befriend route of the quest, the human form of the dragon appears in town and is in love with whoever did the quest, in this case Bellinda. I am of course not about to waste Dragonfu on Bellinda’s basic ass, plus I feel Olivia is kind of a dragon with all the people she’s been burning so they have a lot in common! 

We dazzle Dragonfu with a coin trick! True magic at work.

-OMG IT WAS BEHIND MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME -I KNOW!

Good God, all of Olivia’s ‘happy’ expressions are terrifying, just don’t smile ever again, you’re too evil for it, you’re gonna scare the dragon away!

Or not!!!!

 AWWWWW 🐲❤️🔮

You know what, fuck it, let’s lock it down, when it’s right it’s right!

-Burn stuff with me forever?? -I WILL!!!!

-We are gathered here today, under threat of fiery death, to join two unholy abominations in holy matrimony. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. 

AW CONGRATS GUYS <3333 The wizard tower is so small and family un-friendly and Olivia is so unmaternal but come on, like I’m not gonna have her reproduce with a fucking dragon.

Back to Spainot, we’ve hit a slight bump, mainly that this Snordwich lord is proving fucking impossible to torture. 

-Um.. Are you enjoying this??? -Sure am, bad boy, but why don’t we take this somewhere more private already?

Wtf, stop sexually harassing the innocent person who’s torturing you! Does no one around here have any sense of humanity anymore??

-Come on, Spainot, throw some flesh-eating rodents at him! -I’M BUILDING UP TO IT, RAE, GAWD. No one likes a back-seat torturer!

-HA, who’s the loser now, Rodolfo? Rodolfo?? RODOLFO

Ya Spai I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure he left while you were interrogating, I haven’t seen him in like 3 days.

-WHAT. So Olivia completes one achievement and gets a dragon wife and a magic skeletal bird and I complete three and get dumped?!

Well what do you want from me, I don’t make the rules!

-YES YOU DO

Can we move on, please? And Olivia had a very rough go of it-

-she got burned in some rando quest and looked positively karma-stricken after, inferno-ing left and right while sporting this look! She deserves a magic bird!

Congrats on your success and 4 kids, Olivia! 

-I love this skeleton bird more than I thought it possible to ever love something.

-Gee, thanks mom. 

We had leftover bones so here, Spainot, you get a magic bird too.

-A bone parrot is little comfort when you’ve lost the only bone that matters! Why Rodolfo, whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I don’t know, probably because you challenged him to duels 3 times a day?

-No, that can’t be it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you look like a man who has nothing to live for?

-Yea, I certainly don’t.

So you wouldn’t mind like, jumping into the pit multiple times so you can get the parts we need for the hardest achievement in game aka Legendary Doomsword?

-Rodolfo had one of those too, it was legendary and now that it’s gone I’m doomed!!!

Ok ya ENOUGH metaphors about Rodolfo’s absent penis, although they really are writing themselves. We’ll get him back! If you survive all the pit jumping that is. Join us next time for part 2: Legendary Doomsword!

[dreamescapeswriting]

Together ~ KNJ [Request]

WORD COUNT:5.3k

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader

GENRE: College AU, friends to lovers, angst, fluffy ending,

A single cough erupted from one side of the giant lecture theatre that you were sitting inside of causing everyone to stare over at the kid that coughed. He blushed deeply but anyone would with around 100 students sitting and staring at you because you coughed. All of you were just sitting there waiting eagerly for the exam to end. Tapping pens could be heard as you glanced around at everyone, it was the final exam and it appeared as though everyone had already finished and was just waiting for the bell to ring. All you wanted to do was race out of the lecture hall and out into the hot summer weather to tan for a while but you had to sit there, in silence until the test was finished otherwise the whole year of learning would have been for nothing. 

All the hours of countless cramming for tests would have gone to waste so you sat there. Staring forward at the chalkboard and around 60 students heads since you were right at the back of the hall.

It was finally the end of your first college school year and you were looking forward to the next eight weeks of pure bliss, not having to worry about waking up early for lectures or staying up all night studying for a test. It was going to be the best summer vacation you could ever possibly want, you already had what you were going to do planned out. No one was going to be in the dorm house that you shared, they all had their own plans so you arranged to stay inside for the first week, catching up on everything that needed to do before deciding to relax, binge watch shows and do whatever you wanted.

"Pencils down and close your booklets, if you have no finished you're exam don't worry. I'm sure you can make it up when you repeat this year," You looked at the woman at the front of the room, she was a woman in her early 40's with a Karen haircut, she'd been brought in when your original tutor for the course left to have a baby and never bothered coming back. It was a surprise to you that you even knew half of the questions on the exam, the teacher was useless you practically taught yourself late at night reading through the books and countless research articles online. 

"Single file lines! You're adults, we shouldn't have to tell you how to behave!" She screamed as people began rushing to get out of the hall, you stayed behind not wanting to get trampled in the herd of people.

The room was silent again apart from the shuffling of papers as Mrs Kim collected all of the papers. Leaning behind yourself you began packing things into your bag not noticing that your best friend was lingering up behind you. 

"Boo!" He yelled out as he placed his hands on your shoulders and shook you a little making you cry out in surprise. 

"Joonie," You whined as you saw the surprised look on Mrs Kim's face as she heard a sudden noise come out of nowhere. 

"Sorry Mrs Kim, I've come to steal my best friend." He practically pulled you free from your chair and dragged you out of the hall and into the hallways where people were talking amongst one another.

"I'm not even going to ask how it went, you're my best friend and I already know you've passed," He said in a matter-a-fact tone as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and that was when you knew he wanted something. The two of you had been friends since you could walk and talk you knew exactly what he was up to when he was flattering you. 

"Whatever it is, no. I'm not doing it, I'm not driving you, I’m not doing a late assignment for you, I’m not going to pick you up late from a party and I'm not going to kill someone for you," You went through everything so you didn't leave a single thing out but Namjoon tutted at you. 

"I am offended that you would even think for a second that I was trying to get something out of you," You stood still as you looked at him with a blank stare, 

"Okay fine I need something," He grumbled pulling you with him as he walked out of the main campus building.

Back at the house, you waited for Namjoon to tell you what it was that he wanted, the whole walk home he'd been avoiding the question or distracting you with something else. The house you lived in was huge, it had around nine bedrooms in total all with their own bathrooms and two main bathrooms. It used to be an old mansion home but it was renovated when a college was built nearby and rented out to groups of college kids. The last year you'd been living there with Namjoon and six of his college buddies, all of you got along which was perfect, no awkward meetings in the hallways or kitchen.

"You can't just tell me you need something and then not say anything," You told him as you picked up a slice of pizza from the box and began eating it. This was what he did when he wanted something, he would try to bribe you with food or do something nice for you, you'd known him long enough that this meant he was going to ask for something big.

"You're not doing anything in the summer, right?" You put down the slice of pizza and brushed your hands onto a napkin as you got up to leave. You already knew what he was going to ask and you weren't interested, 

"No way, there is no way of me going on that stupid trip." You told him as you began heading for the staircase wanting to go to bed but he grabbed your wrist. 

"You're my best friend, we're supposed to look out for one another," He whined as he looked at you, his large brown eyes turning into puppy-dog eyes as he attempted to persuade you.

It was the summer vacation he and some of his friends had been planning to take together,

"Kyong is going and I don't want to be alone with her," He told you as he looked at you, tugging on your wrist as he waited for you to say something. Mi Kyong, his ex-girlfriend that practically ripped him apart and left you to stitch him back together again. Cheating on him so many times in the relationship you wondered how he stayed with her for as long as he did. To you, she was the devil in disguise but to Namjoon she was and would always be the love of his life. 

"I'm weak if I go near her I'll break," That wasn't a lie, you knew that if Namjoon even stayed in the same room as her alone she would somehow manipulate him back into her life only to break him up into pieces yet again.

"I thought Jungkook and the boys were going," You sighed thinking about how your perfect relaxing time was going to be ruined by going out to some log cabin in the woods.

"They're taking their dates...Please...We'll have fun I promise and you can bring books...Music, painting gear...Whatever you want," You knew he was never going to let it go so you nodded slowly at him, at least this way you could keep a close eye on him at all times. 

The two of you were back in the living room, pizza slice in your hand as you were ready to curl up and watch Grey's Anatomy together,

"There's just one thing," He called out, you turned to stare at him pizza slice in your mouth waiting for him to continue.

"You have to pretend to be my date." The pizza slice slipped from your hands and onto the white leather sofa as you stared at him. 

"What?" Your voice cracked thinking that maybe you'd heard him wrong or he was just trying to joke but he shook his head. 

"You have to pretend to date me, nothing major just...A cuddle and holding hands," You stared at him feeling your heart pounding against your chest at the thought of doing something like that was Namjoon. He wasn't the type of friend that cuddled or held hands with anyone so suddenly doing that bought back all of the feelings you had for him that you had repressed. You never wanted to admit your feelings for him and when you moved into a house together for college you pushed them down so deep you thought you'd gotten over him. 

"And share a room, which we've done before it's not a big deal." He mumbled as he began watching the screen. Not a big deal? To him maybe it wasn't a big deal but to you, it was bringing up all of the repressed feelings you'd hoped you had been over.

"Y-Yeah, no big deal." You mumbled staring at the screen as you suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore. 

"I gotta go pack," You said suddenly, leaving the pizza with Namjoon and rushing up to your bedroom. Slamming the door and looking around as you thought about all of the things you didn't have for a summer vacation, tomorrow was going to be an impromptu shopping trip as early as possible. 

The car pulled up outside the large home and you thought it was some kind of joke until everyone began pulling their bags out. You took Namjoon by the hand and stared at him, 

"I thought you said it was a cabin in the woods," You whispered turning to look at the large mansion behind you which was defiantly not a small cabin in the woods.

"No, I said it was a home in a remote area." The remote area part was right, the ride had taken you almost four hours to get out here and it was in the middle of the woods but it was not a home of any kind. It was huge and modern. All of it was an open plan area with large floor to ceiling windows. The walls were white and black and that was just the outside. 

"I couldn't let my boys slum it for the summer," Kyong's voice said as she trailed her hand along Namjoon's back, you watched as he tensed up. The original plan was for him to be in the car with her but you managed to get Jimin and his girlfriend to swap with you both, riding along with Yoongi and his girlfriend instead. 

"It's costing me almost 650,000,00₩, for the month. I know you're only here for a week but I decided I would stay." Everyone seemed to have their eyes glued onto the building as they stared at it, 

"Nine bedrooms so I'm afraid Y/n might have to be on the sofa," She said in a condescending tone but that was when Namjoon wrapped his arm around your waist and drew you closer to him. Sparks felt as though they were shooting off your body and you hoped no one picked up on the fact that you were so shy from the small touch. 

"Actually she'll be in my room since we're together." He stared at Kyong as he said it and the smile on her face was wiped away, leaving a shocked look as she tried to think of something to say in response. 

"Really? You and Y/n- Wow...I never would have thought your taste would have changed that much," You knew it was an insult but you chose to ignore her, pulling at Namjoon's hand. 

"Come on babe, let's go find a good view." You cooed, pulling him into the front door and hoping that Kyong would finally leave him alone now that she heard you were dating, that way you wouldn't have to go through the butterfly feelings every time he touched you, even a little. 

"Babe?" Namjoon chuckled as he walked behind you, he'd never heard you call him anything besides Namjoon or Joonie, or if he was in trouble, Kim Namjoon.

"You need it to be convincing, right?" A smirk played on his lips while you had your back to him, he let you lead him through the house to try and find a room for the two of you but it was huge and you thought you might have needed a map to find your way around. 

"Here," Namjoon laughed pulling you into a large bedroom, your bag dropped from your shoulder. 

The bedroom had its own sitting room so you weren't going to have to worry about sitting downstairs where Kyong would bother you. There were large glass windows leading out onto a balcony that looked as though it had grass on it.

"Why does the balcony have furniture, there's no door-" You stopped speaking when the glass doors that you originally thought were windows began to move and open up, folding into the walls so you could walk out onto the small balcony area that looked over a giant pool on the ground floor. 

"This place is incredible," You breathed out as you laid your hands on the balcony railing, looking over at the woods that were just beyond the house. 

Namjoon was looking around the room, an ensuite was connected to it all white marble. A walk-in shower and a corner bathtub with jets.

"Hey I-whoa," Namjoon stopped as he looked at you and the view wondering where the windows had gone.

"So that's what that switch did," He chuckled softly as he thought back on the switch he had flicked on the wall.

The night came sooner than expected, you'd spent most of the day unpacking everything you'd bought along with you and planning what you were going to do the next day and now everyone was gathered in the kitchen. 

"I made us all a pasta dish, I figured it would be nice for the evening," Not for one second did you believe that Kyong had cooked the pasta, mostly because there were take out containers in the bin but also because Namjoon told you about the last time she tried to cook. She almost burnt her entire dorm down just trying to use a rice cooker. 

"Are you really going to eat all that?" Kyong questioned as she watched you piling pasta onto your plate,

"I mean pasta is known to bloat us but I guess you're obviously not bothered about looking bloated." Namjoon was suddenly by your side ready to take over for you, 

"Y/n looks perfect, so why don't you just focus on yourself," He ordered, taking your plate and his over to tone of the many dining tables that were in the home. 

"Ignore her, she's just trying to get under your skin." He reassured you as he smiled weakly, you knew he still had feelings for her but it was nice to see how much he was stepping in for you when he needed to.

"What did you ever see in her?" You mumbled as you began eating some of the pasta, trying not to let her lingering words bother you so much. It wasn't as though you and Namjoon were really dating, it didn't matter what you looked like anyway. If a person didn't love you for who you really were then that person didn't deserve the time of day. 

"I'm not sure, I think I was looking in the wrong direction," He laughed as he watched you eating, smiling as he couldn't help but look at you. All the years he'd known you he had been hopelessly in love with you but never realised until it was too late. Until you both in college and busy with everything else to deal with one another, he never wanted to ruin the friendship that he had with you.

"What?" You questioned as you noticed how much he was staring at you, 

"Nothing...Did you bring my favourite book with you? I might sit by the pool with you tomorrow," He was trying to change the subject and distract his own mind from thinking about you in that way.

"Do you have spare blankets over there?" You asked Namjoon later when you were back in your room, 

"Yeah but I don't think you'll need them, it's summer." He chuckled looking up to see you standing over at the sofa in the bedroom getting ready for bed. You were dressed in one of his old football shirts from high school and a pair of shorts. Namjoon's mouth nearly fell open, he'd seen you in his clothes before but this was something different.

"I meant because I'm on the sofa, I can't sleep without something covering me," You laughed awkwardly when you felt how much he was beginning to stare at you, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. 

"Why are you on the sofa? We have a huge bed right here," He laughed pointing at the large California King Bed that was in the room but you never would have thought that he would be okay with sharing with you. 

"You want to share a bed? You? Mr Kim Namjoon who hates being cuddled?" You laughed as you slowly made your way over to the bed, pulling back the covers a little. 

"Don't worry, it's not as if I'm going to cuddle you in the night." It wasn't something that worried you though, it was a thought that excited you.

The next morning Namjoon bought breakfast up to you on the balcony, telling you that he and the boys were going to go for a hike. 

"Sure, sounds good...Get some good photos," You told him as you bit into the apple he'd bought up to you, he smiled just watching you. That morning he'd woken up before you to find himself wrapped around you, one arm draped over your waist while your legs tangled together under the thin sheet you had both chosen to sleep in. 

"I will, what are you planning on doing today?" The plan was to sit in the bedroom and avoid Kyong as much as possible but you knew it wasn't going to happen, 

"I'll sit by the pool and read...Maybe go for a swim or bike into town." There was a small village just down the road, it was almost a two-hour walk but maybe an hour on the bike if you were lucky. 

"Sounds like a good idea, maybe I can ride with you later. We can get some snacks to bring back," Agreeing with him you couldn't wait for the day to pass just so you could spend some quality time with him but right now you were looking forward to curling up beside the pool. 

"Have a nice time," You whispered to Namjoon as you stood by the back gate of the house, all of the boys were getting ready to leave on their hike, the girls staying behind. 

"Wait!" You turned around to see Kyong rushing over in hiking boots, a coat and some short shorts that were going to do nothing to protect her from the bugs and nettles that could get her out there.

"You're going too?" You questioned as you looked from her to Namjoon, it was clear he had no idea it was going to happen. 

"Yeah. Me and my boys going for a long hike. It'll give me and Joonie a chance to chat." Hearing your nickname for Namjoon roll out of her mouth made your blood boil and you wanted nothing more than to trip her up but Namjoon looked at you and you instantly felt calmer. 

"Baby please come with me, it won't be the same without you." Frowning you stared at him wondering what he was doing when he pulled you close to him by your waist, leaning his face down so close to yours that you could feel his breath on your skin. 

"Fine, let me change..." You looked at him going to leave when Kyong scoffed at the pair of you, 

"Not even a kiss goodbye?" It was obvious that she didn't believe you and Namjoon were truly dating and you knew Namjoon wanted her to believe it so you grabbed him back the back of the neck and kissed him. The moment your lips touched it felt as though your legs had turned to jelly and you were about to fall but Namjoon held you steady, holding you by the waist as he pulled you closer to him enjoying the kiss between you. For that moment no one else was around you, it was just the two of you as you finally kissed for the first time, your heart hammering against your chest as if it was trying to escape. 

"I'll go and change," You whispered as you pulled away, your voice was hoarse as you stared at him biting down on your lip as you hoped that would happen again. 

"I'll wait here," His voice was almost as hoarse as yours as he watched you run back into the house, his eyes never leaving your body until you disappeared. 

"Well, that was a nice performance," Kyong mumbled but Namjoon didn't hear her, he just waited for you to return. 

The week was almost over and you were enjoying your time there more than you originally thought you were going to. You and Namjoon spent a lot of time with everyone else which meant pretending to be a couple most of the time, holding onto one another, kissing him whenever you had the chance. It started to feel as though you were pretending anymore and that this was really happening, even if you knew deep down inside that there was nothing to this. That it would all be over as soon as you got back to your dorms but for now you were going to soak up as much of his attention as you could get for yourself. 

"I don't like being blindfolded Joonie, it makes you think you're up to something," You whined as he continued to walk you through a bumpy area, you could hear gushing water and footsteps but that was all. He let out a deep laugh that seemed to echo around wherever you were and you whined again, 

"Relax, here-" He began to untie the make-shift blindfold and you let your eyes adjust for a second to see that you were somewhere you'd never seen before. It was a cavern that had a pool of water inside, flowers spreading over the walls of the cave, the walls and ceiling seemed to have silver reflecting on them because of the water. 

"Hot springs," He said with a smile, bending down to touch the water as it began bubbling, your mouth almost dropped open at the sight. 

"I didn't bring a bathing suit, you didn't tell me what we were doing," You laughed softly as you looked at him and then to the pool behind him, it looked as though it was going to be relaxing. 

"Is it deep?" He shook his head in answer to your question, 

"Probably reach your shoulders, there are some rocks just under the water we can sit on and relax." He promised as he began to unbutton the white shirt he was wearing, you gasped and turned away not wanting to make him uncomfortable. 

"I didn't bring a bathing suit. I'll wear my underwear, it's just the same," He said as he looked at you, hoping that you would do the same but not once saying what he wanted out loud. 

The two of you sat there side by side in the water just enjoying the peace and quiet, Kyong had done nothing but follow the two of you around all week long leading you to "pretend" you were both together for as long as possible.

"This week has been one of the most amazing times of my life," You told him as you rolled your head over to look at him, your gaze meeting his as he smiled at you. You didn't know if it was the low lighting or just because our feelings for him were resurfacing but his eyes seemed to sparkle, as though they had a golden hint to them.

"Even with all this pretending, that's been going on?" He questioned as he looked at you, biting down on his lip as you shrugged, 

"There's been one thing that's bugging me all week." He sat up straight making you do the same as you watched him, tilting your head to the side as you waited for him to elaborate on what he meant.

"I don't want to pretend...I want to be yours and I want you to be mine." Closing the distance between your mouths, you kissed him. At that moment it was clear that everything you had been feeling that week, the sparks, the butterflies, was all real. Everything you felt for him he felt the same for you and it excited you. He placed his hands on your waist lifting you up and placing him on his lap under the water as you continued to make out in the hot springs. 

His teeth biting down softly on your bottom lip as he asked for entrance, which you gladly granted him, letting your hands wander into his hair as you tugged him closer to you. 

"We're not pretending?" He questioned as you pulled away to catch your breath, you shook your head desperately, 

"Never again," You whispered before reconnecting our lips with his, going back to your steamy make-out session in the water.

Namjoon left soft kisses on your shoulder as the two of you laid naked in the bed, looking out at the night sky as you cuddled with one another. The two of you had made it back late after your make out in the hot springs and continued your session in the bedroom where it lead to more. 

"I'll go get us a snack," He chuckled as he heard your stomach growling, even if it was almost 3 am you were hungry from the activities you had both done together. 

"Thanks," You kissed him softly as he changed into a pair of shorts and a white shirt, disappearing out of the door and leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Letting out a small excited squeal you laid back against the pillows and smiled to yourself, you never thought this day would come and now it had, you couldn't contain yourself. Everything you had ever wanted was becoming a reality.

Time passed and Namjoon still wasn't back with your snack, you figured he was going to cook something so you laid there for a second, trying to rest a little before he came back not expecting to fall asleep within seconds of closing your eyes.

Waking up alone the next day you frowned to yourself, he was supposed to be beside you,

"Joonie?" You called out as you changed into some leggings and a baggy shirt thinking maybe he had gone for an early walk or something. You headed down to the kitchen shocked to see Kyong nursing a hangover but that wasn't the part that shocked you. The part that shocked you was that she was dressed in nothing but Namjoon's shirt, the one he had put on the night before to go and make a snack for you. 

"I made this, drink it." Namjoon's voice called out to Kyong as she smirked at you, turning her head to look over at him and that was when you saw the deep purple bite marks up and down her neck. At that moment it felt as though your whole world was falling apart as you put it all together, dressed in his shirt, he was looking after her and she was covered in marks.

"I-I can't believe it," The glass Namjoon was holding slipped from his hand and smashed against the floor, the green liquid splashing all over the white floors and cabinets while Kyong smirked. 

"Y/n, it isn't what it looks like." You scoffed at him, rushing back up the stairs towards the bedroom as you began throwing clothes into your bag, trying to get some money together as he begged you not to overthink it. 

"It's not what it looks like," He pleaded as he stood in the way of the door so you couldn't leave the bedroom, 

"Was she dressed in your shirt?" You questioned as you stared at him, his eyes widened with panic,

"Yes, but-"

"Was she covered in hickies?" You asked him again, cutting him off. All you needed were the answers you knew exactly what had happened. He fell back into her arms the way he always did, crawling back to her every time.

"Yeah, but that-"

"You didn't come back last night, were you or were you not with her?" His face fell and he didn't answer, tears rushed to your eyes as you pushed past him heading down the stairs and in the direction of the front door. 

"You can't just leave, we're miles away from home." He called out as he chased after you, Kyong holding onto his arm as she whined at him not to yell anymore. 

"That's my problem to deal with," You mumbled as you threw your bag over your shoulder and took one of the bikes, heading to town was the best plan for now. Once you were there you could figure out where to go by Kyong groaned at you, 

"They're for people staying on this holiday." Locking eyes with her you threw the bike onto the ground before heading down the long driveway, ready to start your long walk back into the town. 

"Y/n!!" Namjoon yelled as he chased you down the road, grabbing you by the hand as he made you look at him.

"You have to let me explain, I know how it looks." At this point your tears were already rushing down your face as you looked up at him, you thought that he would be the one person you could trust in the world. He knew how much it hurt to be cheated on and yet he still did it to you, was it even cheating? Were you nothing more than a fling for him? 

"What was it? I was just there until she decided she was jealous enough to take you back? Or were you both in on a joke about it, she knew I had a crush on you and thought she could get kicks out of it?" He didn't blame you for being angry but he held your arm as he tried to make sure you listened to him.

"You thought, I can't screw my ex so why not fuck my best friend over instead?" Namjoon's eyes watered as he stared down at you waiting for you to finish,

"How could you ever think I would hurt you like that?"

"Because you did-"

"No. I didn't. I went down to get you food last night and I found her, drunk and on the floor covered in her own vomit." You pulled a disgusted face as he explained what had happened, leading you over to a rock as he sat you down beside him. 

"She was covered in her own vomit, along with bite marks, hickies. She said she'd been into town for drinks and got a taxi back. I changed her into my shirt and took her to bed but she wouldn't go to sleep without me there," You looked at him, feeling bad for accusing him of doing the one thing you knew he hated her for doing to him. 

“I sat beside the bed the whole night, I didn’t get into bed with her, I just wanted to make sure she was okay.” He sighed and you realized how much you must have overreacted.

"Joonie..." You breathed out as you felt bad for everything, 

"I know what it looked like but I would never do that to you. I'm in love with you, always have been and always will be but I loved her too...She may have hurt me but she's still a person and someone I once cared for so I wanted to make sure she was okay," That you could understand, you knew how deeply Namjoon cared for everyone he met so you weren't going to hold that against him.

"Now, please...Come back so we can drive home together..." 

"Together?" You questioned as he locked your hands together, linking your fingers with his, 

"As a couple?" He questioned looking at you, making you smile brightly as you nodded your head. 

Tagline: @lyoongx  @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie @sw33tnight @innersooya @sweeneyblue1 @jin-from-the-block @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @anxiousbobatea​ @justbangtanthingz​

[tf2workbench]

Home-repairer

*clang* *clang* *clang* - the familiar sound of a Pyro “helping” an Engineer build

A friendly Pyro can do almost everything for an Engineer: reflecting projectiles, checking for Spies, even removing sappers with the Homewrecker or Neon Annihilator. Almost everything... except repair damaged buildings.

First off, I’d like to thank my friend LdrJagMan for suggesting this to me. As the resident expert on Jag-related matters, he proposed giving the Pyro an option to repair buildings, and I agreed to discuss it because hey, I like ideas.

To start off, we’ve agreed that this repair should expend some kind of resource rather than being free. I’ve gone a step further and said that it should not be freely refillable from dispensers either - if it were just flamethrower ammo, Pyros could repair infinitely. Metal, which dispensers only generate periodically, would be another option, but it would be a shame to give the Pyro a whole metal meter and not use it for anything except repairing.

I’ve also opted to make this a melee weapon just for convenience. A flamethrower would also work fine, a bit like a welding torch, but flame particles can be a bit tricky and the range is relatively similar anyway. First iteration, coming up!

Home-repairer Iteration 1 Pyro melee (+) Generate REPAIR by dealing damage with any weapon. Alt-fire to hit a friendly building and expend repair energy to heal it. (-) -25% swing speed (-) No random critical hits

For data’s sake, I think that the repair meter would charge up to 100% at, say, 500 damage dealt. You could expend it in increments of up to 25% to heal up to 60 health per swing.

Of course, this inherently makes Engineer nests tougher to take down, a bit like having multiple of the same class would. The Pyro’s unique skillset also means that the nest wouldn’t be as vulnerable to the standard Engineer counters, allowing for nearly-unbreakable holds. That is certainly a problem that we'll want to bear in mind when discussing this weapon.

The other big issue I see is the opportunity cost associated with this weapon. “Opportunity cost” is an economics term that describes all the choices you don’t make. In this case, when you equip this weapon, you forego all other melees, and if you equip another melee, you lose out on this weapon. That’s especially important because you can’t equip both this and the Homewrecker (though you could always just bring two Pyros), meaning that you can either repair buildings or remove sappers - not both.

And the Engineer’s feelings enter into it, too. What kind of frustration might spring up when a Pyro declines to equip this melee and the sentry goes down as a result? Probably similar frustrations to when Pyros don’t have the Homewrecker, or when friendly Engineers watch your buildings die. This frustration might not be too awful, but the opportunity cost and peer pressure associated with this weapon are worth bearing in mind.

I’m on the fence here: I think Pyros and their Engineers could have a lot of fun with this weapon, but I worry that its main function is to address a weakness rather than to bring new, interesting options for its user. You can only stand by a sentry waiting to repair it for so long, is what I’m saying. And there’s always the question of whether it would make Engineer nests too hard to dislodge.

But that doesn’t mean this weapon is doomed! It’s entirely possible that there are other ways to take this that might be better for gameplay. What would you do?

[felassan]

DA4 Lead Producer Scylla Costa’s BIG Festival talk, “Challenges of Dragon Age production during the pandemic”, can currently be rewatched on YouTube here starting roughly at timestamp 8:57:02 after a lil presenter blurb/intro. It’s 1 hour long. When it was streamed live, there was an English translation ‘voiceover’. There isn’t in this vid, however I want to post the link for Portuguese speakers, and also it’s neat for everyone to be able to see all the slides he presented with for themselves in context.

I don’t know if an English-language version will get put up so I’m sharing the notes I took during the talk below, in case anyone’s interested and because I might as well since I wrote them. The rest of this post is under a cut due to length.

Edit: Found a place to re-watch the English version of the talk

(Quick note: I didn’t note down everything, mostly things that caught my interest, so this isn’t exhaustive, and when I was watching I was real tired, so pls bear that in mind and don’t take these notes as bullet-proof 100% accurate gospel or direct quotes. If you watched it and think I’ve written down something wrong/misunderstood, let me know and I’ll fix. Also if you’re a Portuguese speaker and I’ve gotten something incorrect or missed something important etc, again just let me know.) **

** Edit: I’ve now gone through my notes while watching the talk again. I’ve filled in some of the gaps (although they still don’t cover everything said) and so forth, and now I’m no longer worried about there being possible errors in this post.

-----

For some context, this slide contained the breakdown of the talk’s structure. Bear in mind there are other slides present in the talk than the ones I’ve posted here, I didn’t include caps of all of them, just ones which were of note to me.

In the talk, chief Producer Scylla goes over challenges of DA4 production during the pandemic. He discusses the adaptations - necessary skills and learning from remote work - and he ponders on the future of teamwork.

After the launch of ME3 he became a producer, all his MMO and other experience helped a lot. He was on DAI for 3 years and MEA for 9 months, then Anthem. Today, on DA4, Scylla and another Lead Producer were the heads of the whole project, and there is his boss is the Executive Producer Christian Dailey. 

^ the usual AAA game development cycle (brief introduction)

AAA games are games that are launched for several platforms simultaneously. 

In BioWare’s case, the pre-production phase of the game development cycle can have from 5 - 30 people, and up to almost 60 people when they’re just about to go through the gate to production. 

In the pre-production phase, they go through the game’s concepts and prototypes and start developing systems. They seek the game’s concept and focus, and its key features. They do lots of market research. In the case of BioWare, all their games are strong in narrative, so they have lots of tools related to game narratives and supporting the development of a narrative (cinematic design, dialogue system etc) that get focused on in this phase. Other parts of the team such as writers and cinematic design need these systems to do their own roles. 

In BioWare’s case, the pre-production phase through to launch can take 4 - 6 years, but it does depend on the size of the team during development.

With regards to Dragon Age 4, they were coming close to the time when they would shift from pre-production to the production stage when the pandemic hit.

During the production phase is when the development of content and features takes place, with the systems mostly already existing from the pre-production phase. A few new systems may be developed in this phase. In the production phase is when things start escalating, and the team really starts growing, to like 2- or 3-fold the prior pre-production phase size. 

(DA4 is currently in the production phase.)

In the alpha phase, features have to be fully implemented and systems all have to be running / working. All the game features should already be in the game by now. They test from pre-production onwards, but this phase is when they run heavy technical tests with lots of players trying to play at the same time. In the beta phase, the idea is that you should now have full content and that now you’re balancing it and running more and lots of different tests with players before launch. There are final tweaks and then the final launch, when in the weeks prior to launch, all the different business units and areas e.g. marketing team, technology team, publishing team, get together once a day and all of the game’s issues are reported and brought to the table to be prioritized. Then they decide the next steps re: these issues (this is known as ‘the war room’).

After the launch there are usually patches like day zero patches and other patches, this being standard industry practise. The last stage is the new content stage where there are DLCs and a game with more content.

On March 12th 2020, the team gathered to review the DA4 story in the new office. Everyone was very excited. (They had spent over 10 years in their last building and had noticed that with the team growing they needed more space. In August 2019 they found the new studio in the city center.)

Anyway that evening, they got an email from the CEO which contained instructions and said that due to the pandemic, they should from now all start working remotely. They had known that this happening was a possibility so they had been planning on how to have all the devs working from home, but initially less than 50% of the devs were able to work from home successfully/efficiently due to various issues e.g. you need a VPN to be able to log in remotely to do your job normally, varying home office setups. The day after this, the office was basically deserted, except for Scylla, the IT infrastructure people and one or two odd devs.

Scylla was part of the team that was working on allowing the devs to work from home. They first started looking at the short-term changes they needed to make to allow this.

“First, take care of our developers”. 

When the pandemic first hit, their and Scylla’s [as Lead Producer] first priority was to look after the devs. Many of them are parents (schools and day-cares were shut, children were studying from home), others have relatives living with them, others have other personal circumstances which of course need to be taken into account when it comes to assessing what needs to be taken into consideration for this new scenario. So, they looked at each dev on a case-by-case basis in order to evaluate, speaking to each one and asking them what they could do to support them.

One of the first changes/adaptations they could implement was flexible working hours and flexibility around deadlines. Generally speaking the devs got a lot of support, EA was really good and really supported the devs especially in the first months of the pandemic (and they are still supporting them). Initially not all devs had suitable office spaces at home, some were working from the living room from laptops or at the kitchen table. The whole covid situation basically just happened over night and nobody was really ready to deal with that change. So their first step was to enable their devs to work remotely. As a producer, Scylla’s main task is to communicate with the team such as via a number of daily meetings. He doesn’t depend so much on powerful hardware.

“Enable developers to work remotely”.

This slide shows some of a BioWare audio team. Different teams have varying and specific needs in order to do their jobs and therefore in order to do them remotely. For example, the audio team need good-quality speakers and amplifiers, while the lighting and art teams need other specific equipment such as tablets and large screens. So there was a lot of work they had to do to go through each dev to understand their individual needs and what needed to be done for them. ‘Could they download the builds? Did they have the right performance [tech-wise]? Could they submit their changelists, their codes to the server?’

Some devs needed a more powerful internet connection as it would take 6-8 hours to download a build (some devs live rurally). Some needed a lot of cable, as they were working far away from their routers (sometimes up to 50m). As time went by things got better and better. 

The chair devs work from is also important; a kitchen able chair etc is not suitable to sit in for long-term desk work, possibly leading to health issues like back ache and blood circulation problems in the legs.

Every 3 months they had money given to help devs buy new mice, keyboards, monitors - anything they needed really in order for their office setting at home to be improved. For a while, because lots of people [generally, in society] were needing and buying them, it was quite hard to buy things like webcams and microphones.

On mid- and long-term changes:

In terms of DA, we have to look at this from 2 perspectives, the change in the personal and the professional environments. 

As a consequence of working from home, people tend to be less active during the day (even in an office, you go between meeting rooms, up and down stairs etc). Physical activity supports life quality and therefore work quality. Scylla noticed that he began to feel listless and such, and found that he needed to change his routine that he had initially developed when he started working from home, for example; having a normal start time (as in, have a semblance of structure in your day as if you were still working in the office site), get dressed at the normal time, not having meetings over lunch etc. This wasn’t just him, lots of other devs encountered this and had this experience too. Devs which adapted faster had better productivity and became more productive faster.

Scylla bought a stand-up desk which he can raise up and down, and at meetings he would be delivering a talk while standing or even while walking on a treadmill. Other devs also got stand-up desks. He tracked his body’s data on a Fitbit. These sorts of things helped improve physical and mental wellbeing. Other devs did similar things, like starting going out for jogs or began practising yoga. Essentially, everyone needed to make changes to their daily routine in comparison to what they had been doing prior to the pandemic. 

The pandemic has been a thing for over a year now. In their location, every couple of weeks a new restriction is put into place or a rule is changed, and every two weeks there’s a new thing that you can and can’t do. Scylla also started moving around his property. He worked on his desk, fixed it up and painted - taking up a new hobby. Other devs picked up new hobbies too. These are good ways to be active and also to be somewhere else, i.e. to break up the working day and not be spending it all in one home office-type location. Scylla found that when he made these sorts of changes to his routine to improve his lifestyle, the data output by his Fitbit as indicators of his health/wellbeing etc improved, e.g. number of steps taken in a day, heartbeats per minute while at rest. As stated many of the other devs went through a similar process.

On the professional side of things:

They had to improve remote delivery of builds. Accessing things from home as a dev requires a VPN. They need to download a build every day and then upload it to the server after making their changes to the game. They had to work with infrastructure and research other tech, such as streaming tech to allow remote console access, in order to better facilitate this process. For remote access, they also had to work on adapting communications channels.

“Adapting channels of communication.”

In this slide, the team are working on the storyboards. Before you can implement motion capture & performance capture, you have to ‘run the storyboards’ like this. These are small illustrating drawings which reflect the drafts and are meant to quickly reflect the intention of the scenes that are to be built. Before the pandemic, the team would go to meeting rooms like this, sit down, talk and interact in person. After the pandemic, the question became ‘How do you do this over Zoom?’ You can, but it’s not quite the same; it’s harder to see peoples’ expressions, some people are embarrassed speaking over Zoom etc. Therefore they had to adapt their communications systems, and unlearn the ways in which they developed before in order to relearn and learn new ways of communicating.

Slack was a tool that they adopted on this front. Communications channels can be confusing on Slack, so there was a need to develop structure. For example, how quickly should someone reply (as a recommended convention for the purposes of work)? They had to define the process/procedures for the channels so it was clear for the team as a whole how it would all flow (this is important especially if you have a team with say 30 people or as a whole hundreds of people). Before the pandemic, they had stand-up meetings where they’d go around in a circle every morning and talk about their activities - what they’re going to be working on, any roadblocks they had encountered etc. The question arose ‘How do you replace these?’ They ended up doing Slack messages at a certain time of day and updating their statuses with some details on what they’re working on and color-coding (green - fine, yellow - need help, red - busy/blocked out).

Another issue that they faced was unforeseen - the number of meetings that devs were having really shot through the roof. When there wasn’t a good structure of communications channels, any conversation would become a meeting. Everybody began scheduling meetings left and right, and at the end of the day they would have little time left in which to actually work on their to-do lists. Hence, they had to work with the team to really analyze and be very pragmatic. ‘Which meetings needed to happen? Which didn’t? Is a specific meeting really necessary? Which meetings should be recurring? What can be done over Slack?’ This guideline had to be given to the team to help, and it improved things a lot. The number of meetings decreased a lot and they got more effective. For example, by making sure to set an agenda for meetings beforehand, and by having meeting notes (then a dev who didn’t really need to be at a meeting could skip attending and just quickly review the notes output after instead). They also decreased the standard length of meeting times from the default Outlook blocks of 1 hour and 30 mins to 55 mins and 25 mins respectively. This 5 minute change gave devs time for things like bio breaks (also 4 hours in a row at a computer in a home office with one meeting after another just isn’t good for a person).

“Adapting p-cap and mocap”.

On content:

From a content point of view, the most difficult thing in terms of the pandemic was adapting p-cap and mocap (performance capture and motion capture). They hire actors and it’s a large studio. The pandemic meant big limits to what they could and couldn’t do. The actors had to be masked and 5 meters apart in distance (although it doesn’t look like it in some of these shots due to angles). Also there could be no other person around in the studio - only the actors. The directors instead would ‘patch’ in remotely on big screens (you can see this in the second photo in the top right). 

Before the pandemic, they felt that they wouldn’t be able to do p-cap or mocap properly remotely, as the directors would usually stand right next to actors giving guidance on their performance. The techs would also usually be near. But they adapted! The keyword is adapting, changing process. It’s harder and it’s different, but it is possible, and people start rethinking what is possible. What was said to be impossible before now is possible.

P-cap differs to mocap in that it also captures voice and facial expressions.

On the future of work after covid:

There will probably be more working from home and more flexibility for workers e.g. being able to work say 3 out of 5 days from home. It does depend on what a dev’s specific job is however. For example, the audio engineers require lots of specialist equipment and said equipment is of higher quality and quantity in the office. So, depending on role, devs might be working more often or less often from home.

Another development is that lots of devs are moving house. In lockdown etc people started reassessing what’s most important in life. Some are moving further away from the studio to get a cheaper rent or for example couples who both needed an office space to work from home from but their current place only had one area. Others are moving closer to nature for a better quality of life, and still others have other different reasons for doing so. Over 10 devs that he knows in fact have recently moved, including Scylla himself.

The pandemic changed certain skills being used by people on a daily basis. Scylla used as an example of this one of his soft skills, being able to tell from looking/interacting in-person with someone if they are stressed out. Obviously it’s less easy to tell if someone is stressed out when you’re remote, so you adapt different ways of checking in with people in the new situation. To continue carrying out his role as Lead Producer, he began checking in with his team pro-actively on the new comms channels and asking how they were doing.

Also, now that companies are more open to working remotely, there is going to be increased competition for hiring devs. They saw both sides of this coin at BioWare. They were able to hire devs from many places that they couldn’t hire from before e.g. Montreal, Vancouver, the US, as there’s less need for devs to relocate to Edmonton or Austin. This opens up opportunities to hire really intelligent and skilled people that they would not have had access to before.

Question and answer segment:

The pre-production phase has been concluded. They’re in the production phase.

They are not giving out a lot of details yet but Scylla is really excited as a big fan of the whole series. He thinks that with DA4, they will have the opportunity/possibility to launch the best story out of all DA games. He feels that the characters they’re making are amazing. He’s dying to say more but can’t. 

When you work from home you need to keep your team as productive as possible. During the pandemic, when people started working from home, they noticed that some people became more productive and some people became less productive. They were analyzing it on a case-by-case basis so as not to make assumptions. They were interested in seeing what they could do to help. At the beginning of the pandemic, they were looking at the devs as people and seeing what they needed.

Production of DA4 still needed to continue during the pandemic because they want to be able to launch the game.

This slide shows a writer. Writing is an example of a role which is more able to work from home easily.

Their productivity did go down in the first month of the pandemic. After adaptations, some people then became more productive than they were before (this was role and personal situation-dependent, examples of this being artists and coders who were able to art and code at home without being interrupted, thereby being able to produce more). Covid has affected productivity in general, but this is part of our new reality. They have adapted and adjusted some deadlines. They have enough data (Scylla LOVES data) now to understand how long it will take them/how long they’ll need to launch the game. They have always had historical data for this purpose, but they’re doing more of this sort of thing now to ensure that they are doing things at the right time.

Remote hiring opens up the door to more talent joining, so if someone has talent geography will hold them back less. Some companies though may choose not to hire people from other countries due to labor issues, cumbersome legal aspects, time zones. But even in such cases there are activities for example that can be carried out while the rest of the team is asleep such as testing or working on the build, or there are cases where those companies still will want to hire a specifically/highly talented person even in spite of the potential legal aspects and so on.

On mental health: People were affected. There is the mental, physical and social impacts of the pandemic situation on people. EA supported them during the pandemic in terms of their mental wellbeing, there are specific companies (services offered, speaking to a therapist) that they can contact if they need something or help. EA had always been good at supporting them with this sort of thing but this has improved further during the pandemic. Another change was that they could/can take a couple of days off if they needed/need to because of the pandemic e.g. to take care of children, who were obviously not at school at the time. As a producer he had to be very mindful of all of this. How much they were monitoring peoples’ wellbeing really went up during the pandemic.

A question that was asked - in terms of DA4′s storybeats, is there anything in there that they decided to change due to the pandemic as it wouldn’t be sensitive or appropriate to include anymore, for example a plague plotline or something? Scylla’s answer is that DA and ME are games in which they try to have narratives that are relatable, which include things which people will identify with, so that players understand what characters are going through etc. Nothing in DA4′s plotline/storybeats has been changed (in the frame of this question, relating to the pandemic), as it didn’t have anything in it that could be specifically or a directly connected to a pandemic-type situation or anything. Of course the DA story has Blights and the Taint, but these are different & fantastical things and existed long before the pandemic situation. So this wasn’t the case with DA4 and there was no need to change anything, but this has happened to other games where they decided to change a storyline due to a strong correlation with something in the real world.

There were then concluding/closing remarks. The message he wants to send is that a crisis will always spark opportunities. Look at a crisis and try to see how you can grow.

-----

[☕ found this post interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

[dear-ao3]

Hello! I have a young child who loves dancing and I'm curious about how you were introduced to more structured dance classes. Was it your own interest? Or your parents the ones who pushed it? And what kind of dance did you initially practice? How you would suggest I offer dance to a 4-year-old? And what is your favorite kind of dance now? Sorry for all my inquiries! Answer only what you're comfortable with of course. Thanks for your time and advice <3

hello! this got long so its under the cut

so i started dancing when i was 3 i think...? my parents were either going to sign me up for soccer or dance and i think they let me pick which one i wanted to do and i apparently picked dance because i didn't want to run :) i don't quite know why they picked dance? i think that it was just cause that was a Thing for young girls to do, and also my mom had gone to the same studio when she was younger, so they knew the place. 

i know that the first class i took was called pre-dance which was 8 or 10 weeks of a 45 minute class where you don't really do anything but play with like beanbags and get used to being in a studio environment. I'm pretty sure one of my earliest memories is balancing a beanbag on my back in the downstairs studio at the studio i used to go to. 

so initially it was my parents who introduced me to it, but they made it clear that it was my decision if i wanted to keep taking it. like they asked me at the end of each year if i wanted to do it again next year. and up until i was in i think 1st grade i was taking 1 hour of dance a week, half of that hour was tap and the other half was ballet. i remember that i wanted to keep doing it because i would see the other older girls dance at the end of the year in their costumes and wanted to be like them. 

the way my studio worked (and i danced there for 15 years before going to college, from age 3-18) was that there was pre dance, then pre-school, kindergarten and 6-8 year olds (all three of those levels were an hour long and half of it was tap and half was ballet. we learned pre set dances off of literal records from the 60s and just very basic movements) and then after that it changed to a letter system that started at E and went up to A and all of those classes were at least an hour, once or twice a week. and then when you got to a certain age you could also join the company. 

what kind of styles a studio offers for younger kids wholly depends on the studio. based on my personal experiences and stories I've heard from people who danced at other places, i would try to look into a non competition studio for your daughter and this is why. i did not go to a competition studio, my studio was more or less focused on classical ballet and was Tiny. like in the upper levels there were maybe 100 of us total and we all knew each other and we knew all the teachers and the owner and the other girls parents and everything. yes, there was drama, as there is at pretty much any dance studio, but it was definitely more focused on being fun when we were younger and then as we got older we were learning proper ballet technique from professionals (like variations) and most of our teachers were professionals teaching on the side or in between jobs and while their classes were all meant to further technique and i did learn a lot from all of them, there was still the underlying notion that it was supposed to be fun and that is a lot of the reason why i stuck with it.

i have many friends who went to a variety of competition studios and that was not the case. to my understanding, competition studios are more focused on winning a competition, and with that there comes a lot more drama. both from the parents and the kids and then also the teachers. a lot of competition schools are also much larger and many of the kids who went there didn't know everyone at the studio. and a lot of the time the young kids at the studio will also be competing. that puts a lot of pressure on a young kid, first of all, and its also incredibly expensive because you need to be buying dance costumes and specific makeup in addition to shoes and tights and leotards. if it is something that your kid decides that she doesn't want to stick with, it can be kind of a waste of money. 

there’s also the fact that if she sticks with it a lot of the time the ballet technique that they teach in competition based studios is not super classical (but that's not always the case) and more focused on tricks. but that really depends on the place. 

my dance experience was certainly not perfect, but i personally think that it was better than it would have been had my parents signed me up for a studio that went to dance competitions. we used to get a lot of girls from competition studios that transferred because they were tired of the drama and the stress and the fact that they weren't finding it fun anymore. 

i would suggest finding a place that offers maybe not a whole year of classes, but allows you to sign up for a few weeks. not every place will, but some do. that way your daughter can decide if she likes it. because dance classes are kind of expensive (maybe not at that young age but i think tuition for mine and my sisters 7 classes as we got older was around like $360 every two weeks? plus shoes/tights/leotards and company tuition) on top of shoes and tights and leotards and its a waste if she doesn't like it. 

and you will know if she doesn't like it. i taught the younger girls for a few years in high school and you could tell the ones that did not want to be there because they would sit down or not want to dance or would not even want to come in. the girls that wanted to be there took it seriously and were very committed to being there and wanted to be there and were excited for class. and yeah every kid has their bad days but you will know if they don't want to go. and maybe they want to dance but they don't like the studio, that's okay too. try a different one if you can. 

and i would also take her to a performance. that might be hard because of the climate rn but if the studio has an end of year performance (most do and they're probably like now in the year) then i would take her so she can watch the “big kids” and when its done ask her if she wants to take classes like the big kids. my mom brought me to the performances at my studio when i was little and i loved them. or live dance in general. a ballet might be too long, but a lot of places have clips online you can watch. 

i would introduce her to one or two styles to start with. tap is always fun for little kids. ballet is too cause everyone wants to be like a ballerina. or jazz is fun too but not every place has it for little kids. 

as for now, my dance program at school is focused on more classical modern, ballet and west african dance but i still love tap and more contemporary styles. 

i hope this helps you a little!

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[suna-reversed]

I saw this, and thought of you, so if you’re interested in a prompt list, why don’t you take a look?

PROMPT LIST FOR REQUESTS (smut)

(bless the anon who linked me with this because I’ve been looking for a good prompt list for quite a while now😩)

(crossed out prompts are done/in progress)

So, send a request with your favourite character(s)+prompt number

Fandoms- Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Jujutsu Kaisen

1) “You know, you always look so much better when I mark you up.”

2) “You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat.”

3) “How do you feel about adding another person to the mix?”

4) “You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught.”

5) “You look good all soaking wet.”

6) “Are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you.”

7) “Oh my god you’re so much better than the last person I was with.”

8) “If you’re going to act like a little brat then I’m going to treat you like a little brat.”

9) “I don’t care how good it feels you’d better not cum until I tell you to.”

10) “Look, I’m not into choking but I wouldn’t mind if you grabbed me by the neck every once in a while.”

11) “I bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you. We’ll see how cute you look later when I get you home.”

12) “You don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily.”

13) “Touch yourself for me.”

14) “Do you think you deserve to be punished?”

15) “You take my fingers so well don’t you?”

16) “Shut up and take your pants off.”

17) “When I get home I expect you to be undressed and waiting on all fours for me.”

18) “Are you wearing my shirt?”

19) “Do you need me to finger you first?”

20) “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.”

21) “Did I stutter? Do as you’re told!”

22) “Look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.”

23) “I can’t wait to be on my knees for you later.”

24) “Maybe if I punish you it’ll help you remember who you belong to next time.”

25) “Do you want it on your back or would you like to be on your stomach?”

26) “Suck on my fingers and get them nice and wet for me.”

27) “Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”

28) “If you keep making those sounds I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”

29) “Take it off. Slowly.”

30) “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

31) “Why don’t you go put on something pretty for me?”

32) “Kitten, don’t make me tell you twice.”

33) “Pushing back against my fingers already? How pathetic.”

34) “I love the sounds you make when you come undone.”

35) “Maybe I should get you a collar so you don’t forget who you belong to.”

36) “You’d better watch your fucking mouth.”

37) “Did I say you could stop?”

38) “I need you. Now!”

39) “I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use?”

40) “I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.”

41) “You keep acting like a little brat and I’ll take you over my knee right here, I don’t care how many people are watching.”

42) “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

43) “Don’t you want to play with me?

44) "Yes! I mean yes, Sir!”

45) “When we get home I’m cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night until my jaw is sore.”

46) “Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

47) “You deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?”

48) “I can’t wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin.”

49) “You look so good on your knees like that.”

50) “I only want to please you.”

51) “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?”

52) “Are you going to be good from now on?”

53) “Is that a tattoo?”

54) “These walls are pretty thick, which means you and I can be as loud as we want.”

55) “Well, since you want to cum so badly, why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.”

56) “Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you.”

57) “I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now.”

58) “Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

59) “So desperate for it, aren’t you? Well, if you want it so bad you’d better start taking it.”

60) “Please? I’ll be good, I promise!”

61) “If you don’t change out of those shorts and into some pants I’ll have them around your ankles by lunch time.”

62) “I bet all our neighbors can hear you, I bet they all know what a dirty little slut you are.”

63) “Open your mouth.”

64) “I never knew someone could cum that fast just from a few fingers.”

65) “Pull my hair!”

66) “If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I’m going to bend you over that bed.”

67) “If you want to cum you’d better beg.”

68) “You know I don’t like to be teased.”

69) “Come here, baby, let Mommy/Daddy take care of you.”

70)  "Say my name over and over again and, once you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.“

71) "I’m gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you’re spreading your legs for me.”

72) “Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that?”

73) “I wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it.”

74) “Wow, I think you’re blushing even redder than the vibrator inside you.”

75) “You know, you look real pretty when you cry.”

76) “I think I like you better with a gag in your mouth.”

77) “Tell me what you like.”

78) “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.”

79) “Look at you, grinding against everything, you’re really desperate for it. Aren’t you?”

80) “How do you feel about two at once?”

81) “Is that a thong?”

82) “Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.”

83) “Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you?”

84) “I love it when you dress up for me.”

85) “Did you dress up just for me?”

86) “Let me show you what happens to little brats who don’t follow the rules.”

87) “Think you can handle that much?”

88) “Mmm, good morning to you too.”

89) “Just pull the car over!”

90) “What’s wrong? I thought you liked teasing.”

91) “Aww, is my little princess/prince getting shy?”

92) “Come on, take it all on your own like a good little pet.”

93) “It’s okay, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I’m between your legs.”

94) “Be a good girl/boy and do what I tell you.”

95) “That tickles.”

96) “Were you touching yourself without permission?”

97) “I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this.”

98) “I see the gift I got you fits well.”

99) “You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.”

100) “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.”

[whattheflameo]

Lin healing the bonds with her family hc?

Ohhhhhhhhhh anon you have opened up a WHOLE can of worms I have extremely strong feelings on this topic and most of them can be summed up with Lin Beifong is the Epitome of the older sibling parent trope. RANT INCOMING

Lin choosing to forgive Suyin has almost nothing to do with Suyin’s “apology” (or lack thereof). It occurs solely because Lin actively decides to be the better person in their relationship. She decides that having her sister and her niblings in her life is worth more to her than her grudge and her hurt. Which is saying something, because damn can Lin hold a grudge.

Su isn’t going to apologize; its not in her nature at all. She genuinely doesn’t recognize the need for apologies in anything. She doesn’t give them and never expects them from others. Lin knows this and decides to move on anyway.

Su did write Lin a letter asking her to come talk. Actually, she wrote several. Lin never opened a single one, determined to keep herself from getting hurt again. Its easier, especially when Su isn’t in front of her, to convince herself she doesn’t care.

Despite everything, Lin still hopes the best of her sister. Finding out that she changed her ways after being sent away, stopped with the petty crime and actually made something of herself, built an entire city and raised a pretty great family, comes with a level of relief- even if it wasn’t her to help Su see the error of her ways, at least Su was able to do so.

Lin doesn’t trust Su as far as she could throw her, especially after Su lies to her face to send Korra after Aiwei. She doesn’t trust Su to choose her to save over literally anyone else, and to be honest she has the older sibling complex that she just doesn’t have as much faith in Su’s bending skills as her own. That’s why her “I love you,” before drawing P’li’s fire sounds so much like a goodbye.

Speaking of differences in skill level, that fight between Lin and Su? Buckle your seatbelts motherfuckers I have THOUGHTS. Yes, its one of the most badass fights in the entire series, imo, but I’m gonna be real here. Su was winning. She had Lin on the defensive almost the whole time. But Lin was also at about 40% health- run down, emotionally strained, off-kilter from acupuncture treatment (which I agree with @dont-blame-it-on-the-kids was DEFINITELY not in Lin’s best interest that doctor was 100% paid off by the red lotus), and Su is taking advantage of it. If Lin had been at 100%, even like 60%, she would have WIPED THE FLOOR with Su and Su’s dancy-ass bending style. But she still held her own, even though she was literally breaths from passing the fuck out. Did you SEE some of those hits? There’s one in particular where Su hits her in the gut with a rock mid-air that physically couldn’t not have broken several of her ribs. Su’s behavior in this fight absolutely incenses me like how dare she fucking do that I JUST

All this being said I do really love Su as a character I promise.

Su’s base character hasn’t changed, but after going through the Red Lotus and Kuvira together, Lin does recognize that she’s changed in some important ways. She’s still self-oriented, but she’s not the selfish, bratty teen she was when she scarred Lin for life.

Likewise, after seeing the permanence of Lin’s scars and spending more time with her sister, Su realizes that she’s really hurt Lin. She sees how terrible she’s been to this woman who is willing to give her own life to protect everyone around her, Su especially, and actively tries to make up for it. Like I said, she doesn’t apologize with words, but tries to prove to Lin through her actions that she is going to be there for her. And the fact that Lin’s arm flickers toward her weapons whenever Su loses her temper? Su is so disgusted with herself over it that she nearly throws up the first time she thinks about it.

They’re not best friends, but they do become close. Both of their personalities mellow out with age, and they’re more understanding of each other. Su becomes someone Lin is able to talk to about some personal things, if not the extremely deep stuff. They have wine nights and Su sometimes sleeps over if she gets too tipsy. They both act a lot younger with each other, and Su is one of the only people who can snuggle up to Lin and get away with it.

Unless one of them is actively concealing their emotions (its usually Lin), they can read each other like an open book.

Lin remembers all of Su’s favorite foods and colors and activities and songs from childhood. Su realizes that she hardly remembers any of Lin’s and has a guilty meltdown to Bataar over it. He suggests that she pay really close attention to remember them now, and Su makes it her personal mission. 

Despite having confronted her feelings of abandonment by Toph ages ago, Su can see that Lin not only feels abandoned but also feels like she’s the one who let their mother down, that the break in their relationship is her fault, not Su’s or Toph’s. She knows how glad she was to have Toph back in her life, even if inconsistently, and sees how much Lin wants their mother’s approval and marches into the swamp (and that’s saying something for Su, who isn’t exactly fond of gross swampy things) and drags Toph out to force her to some of Lin’s award ceremonies or other events, including her wedding to Kya. Lin doesn’t know it was Su’s doing.

“Mother Lin may have said she doesn’t hate you but she deserves more from you and spirits help me you are going to say the words “I am so proud of you” to her or I WILL tell Wing and Wei where to find you-”

Basically, Su’s main apology to Lin for all the years of pain and hurt she’s caused is to kick Toph’s ass into repairing at least some of their relationship. Its the most truly selfless thing she’s done in possibly her entire life, because she never tells Lin.

To be clear: NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF LIN HAD NOT ACTIVELY CHOSEN TO SET ASIDE HER PRIDE AND HURT AND FORGIVE HER SISTER. LIN WAS THE CATALYST- SU WOULD NOT HAVE PUT IN WORK TO EARN HER FORGIVENESS IF LIN HADN’T GIVEN IT TO START WITH. Su’s behavior in Zaofu was utter bullshit, it was not worthy of Lin’s forgiveness. She literally showed up and immediately drove a wedge between Lin and some of the most important people in her life, said horribly mean things to Lin, and used Lin’s illness as an advantage to beat the shit out of her. But Lin, strong, selfless, badass, incredible Lin who is so much more empathetic than anyone in that show gives her credit for, looks at all of that and forgives Su anyway. Its not unconditional, like I said the level of trust isn’t bone deep, but she does the legwork. And you know what, Lin deserves to have family that cares about her in her life. Her niblings adore her, and she eventually believes that Su is genuinely there for her. I will die on this hill.

I know this probably came across as incredibly disorganized and rambly. I’ll talk more about Lin’s relationship with the metal clan kids and/or Toph in another post because I recognize that I’ve gone down a fuckin rabbit hole but I have extremely strong opinions on Lin’s relationship with her sister.

[astroandstuff]

Chart Shape

hello again! lol I'm awkward... anyways :)

NOTE!! hello this is future me, AKA the me who has finished writing this LONG post, here to give you a heads up that I got a little deep towards the end of this so proceed if you dare okay now back to our regularly scheduled program

So as I've begun trying to learn more about astrology I've discovered that the shape of your natal chart can be quite telling about yourself.

From what I've learned so far (again not an expert by any stretch of the imagination!) there are 7 different chart shapes and each one can tell you a bit about your personality, your inclinations in life and how you could potentially use your energy.

After hearing about this I of course decided to figure out which chart shape I posses and what it says about me. My chart shape is a See-Saw. The See-Saw shape is distinguished by two clusters of planets appearing opposite each other in the chart with empty space on both sides of about 60 degrees or more.

After looking into this some things I've gathered about this shape are as follows:

a person who posses immense duality

tension within oneself

a constant search for balance

Someone who “lives two lives”

I was honestly kinda freaked out while learning about this because I actually related to it A LOT.

I have often felt in my life like I have two very different paths to choose from, a more creative outlet for myself or a steady path that will support me. I have always tried to find a balance between the two but I so far haven’t been able to find that happy medium.

I also personally really resonated with the living two lives aspect of this chart shape. I think a kind of light hearted example of this would be how within my family I’m considered the youngest, I’m the innocent one that’s a bit quiet and I NEVER swear in front of my family. Whereas when I’m with my friends I’m very loud and a big personality and I’m very adventurous and I swear so much a sailor would blush. That was my first thought when I read about the two lives was how i am with my family versus how I am with literally everyone else. With my family I am much more uptight and when I’m not with them I can just be more myself.

But my mind also went to how even with my closest friends I’m not my true full self. I am definitely much more me with friends than I am with my fam but I’m still not my whole, 100% self with them if that makes sense. Like there’s a lot about some of my biggest interests/passions and dreams that I’ve never told anyone about.

Like there’s so much about myself that I haven’t even told my best friend. And it’s not because I don’t want to or I don’t trust her because I know if I were to open up to her she wouldn’t judge and she would just listen. I think it’s because it feels like if I were to tell her, if I open up that deep part inside me and start to let people truly know about me, a part of me will be gone or like my life will explode or something. I know that sounds extremely dramatic, but that’s just how I feel. Like something just deep within me prevents me from opening up to people fully.

It’s ironic also because if you were to ask anyone who knows me they would probably tell you I’m an open book. The reason is because for the most part I don’t mind telling people about myself. I love meeting new people and getting to know them and telling them about myself. I am an open person for the most part but there’s those few things about me that are a huge part of my personality that I just feel I can’t share with people. I need to keep it private I need to keep those things safe.

It feels extremely lonely to know that there is really no one in this world that truly knows me. And the sad part is, is that all I really want most in this world is for someone to truly know me, to just listen to me and understand me. It feels like if I were to let someone see and know all the ugly parts of me or see how sensitive I actually am and how much I actually feel like they would be scared off or they would somehow use it against me even though logically I know that wouldn’t happen but I feel that way. So I just keep it all hidden from everyone and I don’t let people see how their words affect me. In fact some of my friends would probably say I’m someone who generally doesn’t get sad or get hurt by what people say even though I know I am I just don’t let anyone see that side of me. I don’t know why because I don’t think showing emotions or crying is a sign of weakness or vulnerability at all. Like when I see other people cry all I think about is that they must be going through so much pain and I wish I could lessen it for them, but for some reason I don’t want people to see how I truly feel. I just let them see that I’m okay and I put on a sort of mask so that people don’t see how emotional I am.

Okay so that got heavier than I intended towards the end and a little bit off track but it’s all good probably because it is very late and I’m in my feels a bit. I know this is very long so if there is anybody reading this let me know what ya think or if you know more about this please fill me in I’m eager to learn more :)

Below I've attached a pic of my chart so ya'll can see if you're interested in it by any chance hahah okay bye now!

- S 🤍

[nasa]

The ranks of America’s Astronaut Corps grew by 11 today!

After completing more than two years of basic training, our graduating class of astronauts is eligible for spaceflight. Assignments include the International Space Station, Artemis missions to the Moon, and ultimately, missions to Mars.

The class includes 11 astronauts, selected in 2017 from a record-setting pool of more than 18,000 applicants. This was more than double the previous record of 8,000 applicants set in 1978.

Meet the graduates:

Kayla Barron

“If you don’t love what you’re doing, you’re not going to be good at it. I think it’s a combination of finding things that you really love that will also be really challenging and will force you to grow along the way.”

This Washington native graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy with a bachelor’s degree in systems engineering. As a Gates Cambridge Scholar, which offers students an opportunity to pursue graduate study in the field of their choice at the University of Cambridge. Barron earned a master’s degree in nuclear engineering.

As a Submarine Warfare Officer, Barron was part of the first class of women commissioned into the submarine community, completing three strategic deterrent patrols aboard the USS Maine.

Zena Cardman

“Every STEM opportunity that I have ever gone down is because of some mentor who inspired me or some student who was ahead of me in school who inspired me.”

Zena Cardman is a native of Virginia and completed a bachelor’s degree in biology and master’s degree in marine sciences at The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. Her research has focused on microorganisms in subsurface environments, ranging from caves to deep sea sediments.

An intrepid explorer, Cardman’s field experience includes multiple Antarctic expeditions, work aboard research vessels as both scientist and crew, and NASA analog missions in British Columbia, Idaho, and Hawaii.

Raja Chari

“I grew up with the mentality that education is truly a gift not to be taken for granted.”

This Iowa native graduated from the U.S. Air Force Academy in 1999 with bachelor’s degrees in astronautical engineering and engineering science. He continued on to earn a master’s degree in aeronautics and astronautics from Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and graduated from the U.S. Naval Test Pilot School.

Chari served as the Commander of the 461st Flight Test Squadron and the Director of the F-35 Integrated Test Force. He has accumulated more than 2,000 hours of flight time in the F-35, F-15, F-16 and F-18 including F-15E combat missions in Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Matthew Dominick

“I get to work with incredible people that want to solve problems and are passionate about it. I really want to contribute to the world and this is how I want to do it.”

This Colorado native earned a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering from the University of San Diego and a master’s degree in systems engineering from the Naval Postgraduate School. He also graduated from U.S. Naval Test Pilot School.

Dominick served on the USS Ronald Reagan as department head for Strike Fighter Squadron 115. He has more than 1,600 hours of flight time in 28 aircraft, 400 carrier-arrested landings and 61 combat missions.

Bob Hines

“As you get older, other things become important to you, like being a part of something that’s bigger than yourself. This human endeavor of exploration is something that’s really exciting.”

Bob Hines is a Pennsylvania native and earned a bachelor’s degree in aerospace engineering from Boston University. He is a graduate of the U.S. Air Force Test Pilot School, where he earned a master’s degree in flight test engineering. He continued on to earn a master’s degree in aerospace engineering from the University of Alabama.

Hines served in the U.S. Air Force and Air Force Reserves for 18 years. He also served as a research pilot at our Johnson Space Center. He has accumulated more than 3,500 hours of flight time in 41 different types of aircraft and has flown 76 combat missions in support of contingency operations around the world.

Warren Hoburg

“It was back in high school that I realized that I was really interested in engineering. I always liked taking things apart and understanding how things work and then I also really enjoy solving problems.”

Nicknamed “Woody”, this Pennsylvania native earned a bachelor’s degree in aeronautics and astronautics from MIT and a doctorate in electrical engineering and computer science from the University of California, Berkeley.

Hoburg was leading a research group at MIT at the time of his selection and is a two-time recipient of the AIAA Aeronautics and Astronautics Teaching Award in recognition of outstanding teaching.

Dr. Jonny Kim

“I fundamentally believed in the NASA mission of advancing our space frontier, all while developing innovation and new technologies that would benefit all of humankind.”

This California native trained and operated as a Navy SEAL, completing more than 100 combat operations and earning a Silver Star and Bronze Star with Combat “V”. Afterward, he went on to complete a degree in mathematics at the University of San Diego and a doctorate of medicine at Harvard Medical School.

Kim was a resident physician in emergency medicine with Partners Healthcare at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Jasmin Moghbeli

“Surround yourself with good people that have the characteristics that you want to grow in yourself. I think if you surround yourself with people like that you kind of bring each other up to a higher and higher level as you go.”

Jasmin Moghbeli, a U.S. Marine Corps major, considers Baldwin, New York, her hometown. She earned a bachelor's degree in aerospace engineering with information technology at MIT, followed by a master’s degree in aerospace engineering from the Naval Postgraduate School.

She is a distinguished graduate of the U.S. Naval Test Pilot School and has accumulated more than 1,600 hours of flight time and 150 combat missions.

Loral O’Hara

“I’m one of those people who have wanted to be an astronaut since I was a little kid, and I think that came from an early obsession with flying – birds, airplanes, rockets.”

This Houston native earned a bachelor’s degree in aerospace engineering at the University of Kansas and a Master of Science degree in aeronautics and astronautics from Purdue University. As a student, she participated in multiple NASA internship programs, including the Reduced Gravity Student Flight Opportunities Program, the NASA Academy at Goddard Space Flight Center, and the internship program at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

O’Hara was a research engineer at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, where she worked on the engineering, test and operations of deep-ocean research submersibles and robots. She is also a private pilot and certified EMT and wilderness first responder.

Dr. Frank Rubio

“I just figured it was time to take the plunge and try it. And so, I did and beyond all dreams, it came true.” 

Dr. Francisco “Frank” Rubio, a U.S. Army lieutenant colonel, is originally from Miami. He earned a bachelor’s degree in international relations from the U.S. Military Academy and earned a doctorate of medicine from the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences. 

Rubio served as a UH-60 Blackhawk helicopter pilot and flew more than 1,100 hours, including more than 600 hours of combat and imminent danger time during deployments to Bosnia, Afghanistan, and Iraq. He is also a board certified family physician and flight surgeon.

Jessica Watkins

“I’ve always been interested in exploring space. What’s out there and how can we as humans reach those outer stars and how can we learn more information about who we are through that process.”

This Colorado native earned a bachelor’s degree in geological and environmental sciences at Stanford University, and a doctorate in geology from the University of California, Los Angeles. Watkins has worked at Ames Research Center and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

Watkins was a postdoctoral fellow at the California Institute of Technology, where she collaborated on the Mars Curiosity rover, participating in daily planning of rover activities and investigating the geologic history of the Red Planet.

Learn more about the new space heroes right here: https://www.nasa.gov/newastronauts

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com.