#i'd been on hiatus for so long and i had like no interest in going back...

[beauzos]

me earlier this year: SOBR probably won't go above 90k words since i imagine every act is about 30k words give or take?

me recently: okay, it'll be 120k words at max

me now: ok. it'll PROBABLY be no more than 150k-

[sharksandjays]

Sorry for the long hiatus! Life, huh?

I don't have much time for art sO i offer to you an ANALYSIS/HEADCANON POST.

Sharkanalysis is ONCE AGAIN back.

Today we are talking about ....Skybound Jay. I know this has been a topic that has been going around a lot the past few months for some reason but im in constant brainrot about it. (This also delves into the other seasons too) But I'm mainly talking about how Jay's response to trauma changes after Skybound.

In Skybound this is VERY evident with how he completely hides what happened to him on the ship. Usually Jay would infodump about what he went through but he just keeps it to himself. He just tells Cole, when he is found, that he was forced to "clean a lot." And avoided talking about his eyepatch. And when he had to explain why he couldnt summon his dragon, again he said it was because he was "too tired." When in reality, we know he was tortured a LOT.

And if you think about it, even though Nya remembers Skybound she still doesnt know what happened on the ship. Canonically, we never see Jay explaining it to her.

He literally keeps it all to himself. Which is such an interesting coping mechanism since he's so known for "panicking" and 'hiding behind his team."

You can really see Nadakhan's effects on him. He goes from stupid panicking where he's screaming and running behind his team in the earlier seasons to full on mental breakdowns like in Hunted and Crystallized where he pretty much becomes so unstable he cant function normally. Where he either isolates himself or loses hope in life.

It's such an interesting character arc for him. I'd love to see his trauma delved into more.

[prolix-yuy]

Hello friends! It's been way way way way WAY too long since we chatted, and to be honest I've been taking an embarrassingly long time to write this update post because godDAMN life just gets you sometimes and you go on an impromptu hiatus that gets super messy. So let's get into what's been going on and what to look forward to!

Pedro Tax for this long-ass post.

(We're gonna get into some personal stuff, but if you're just here for what's coming up skip down to WHAT'S NEXT for the tl;dr version)

So beyond work getting hectic from January to March, which was the catalyst for everything getting wacky, I experienced a weird emotional turn that I wasn't expecting. It made me get a little introspective, which I blame some of my productivity slump on.

As I was finishing up the Bangathon entries, I noticed a sharp decline in interaction. I'm a fairly young fic writer on Tumblr, but I was a little baffled as to why stories I'd posted only a week before got a nice bit of interaction yet the newer ones were only getting half to a quarter of what I expected. For a minute I thought I had been shadowbanned (I was not) or I hadn't tagged the posts (I had) or my taglists weren't working (they were). People were already talking about interaction being lower, so I sat back and tried to go with the flow and not let it bother me. I posted Decoherence, which has a more niche audience, but I was definitely missing and wishing for some of the comments and reblogs I thought I might get.

All this led up to one of the least favorite voices in my head saying something that stuck around:

"Well, you were right not to become a writer if your motivation is this closely tied to feedback."

If you're new here or I haven't talked about it much recently, I initially was planning to be a writer. Went to school for it and everything. While I was there I felt like I hadn't found the stories I wanted to tell yet. My colleagues were developing in their niches and writing "the great American novel" and I didn't feel like I fit in. My stories had a lukewarm reception, and I never felt like anyone was excited about anything I was trying to say. So I wrote myself into burnout by the time I graduated with not much to show for it. I ended up doing a career switch, which I love to this day, but I stopped writing for almost 10 years.

Coming to Tumblr, I felt that spark of excitement writing again, and some of that was definitely due to people commenting and being excited or interested in the stories I was sharing. That truly revived something in me I thought was long gone, and reflecting back on the last two years that I've been sharing stories with this community makes me wildly emotional. I didn't know how much I missed of the life I left behind, and how much joy it brought me to share stories again.

Which is why it was SUPREMELY FRUSTRATING to have that shitty little voice pulverize my productivity and excitement over something as silly as interaction. But I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get that voice out of your head. I worked to write things I found fun and less stressful than the series I already felt bad for not updating. And while I still love those stories, it felt like I was pulling them from an inauthentic place and finishing them wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Thus the hiatus! I stopped writing and turned my attentions to consuming and creating in other ways. I watched some shows I'd been meaning to catch up on, started planning to buy a house, worked my butt off at the day job. And I was starting to feel like inspiration was coming back. I didn't want to spook it so I took my time and promised myself I was going to start small and not stress about getting stories out for a bit.

Top that off with some medical surprises, an upcoming surgery, and a little re-evaluation of life moving forward and things have been wild. But I've been missing the daily joy I get from being part of this fandom, and I'm getting back into being here more because I miss you guys! AND! I have stories I want to share and fun to be had. So let's shake off all the heavy shit and get to the fun stuff!

WHAT'S NEXT!

The big thing I'm getting ready to post (after teasing it for so long) is the 2024 Bangathon! This one is different from last year's because instead of requesting stories from me, the Bangathon is open to anyone who wants to participate! There will be a randomizer to play with, and some fun bonuses for those who participate. The announcement will be coming out soon, stay tuned!

As for fics, here are some updates on what's in my WIPs:

Series:

I Think of You: I spent some time rewatching Mando for the newest installment, and I've finally gotten the thread of where to go next thought out. It's been a long time coming so this one's gonna be BEEFY to make up for it.

SW!Frankie: I am crushed to realize it's been over a year since I posted any SW!Frankie! I've got a new story about him and Ms J moving in together I need to finish, then some more asks that are getting into new story arcs I'm excited to share!

Best Laid Plans: Dieter and Murch's first date is bouncing around in my head and I NEED to get it on paper. There's much fun to be had, and I've been binge listening to my playlist for them to get into the headspace.

Midnight Alley: I got all up in my own head about continuing the story with these two and lost a little steam, so I'm going to ease off my "big plans" and start smaller with some oneshots instead. I think it'll help me find out where I want this story to go.

One Shots in Progress:

Decoherence Follow-Up

Incubus!Dieter Ask

You know, laying it out like that makes it feel much more manageable than my brain was telling me! I'm also planning to prioritize more fic reading while I'm getting these updates in ship-shape. Reading your stories always helps get my creative juices flowing, and there are so many good ones lingering in my TBR list that I need to devour.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you for coming on the ride with me. I'm excited to bring more of myself back to Tumblr and have fun with all of you again! To many more stories!

[casinoroyale]

Hi everyone!! Theseus cquackity viceduo zombur revivebur here.

This blog has seen several hiatuses (my bad seriously my bad), and bouts of irregular posting. So I'm sure people who regularly check it have noticed that we (Fiona @quackbur and I) haven't been posting daily anymore and haven't for a bit now. So below the cut I'm gonna talk more about that, and our plans for this blog going forward

For starters, I love roleplaying on this blog so much, as does my cohost Fiona @quackbur. Fiona has done so, so much writing for this and I feel kind of bad for taking her credit over the past two or so years, so props to her for being such a good sport and for everything she's done. This blog wouldn't exist without the shared passion she had for it.

To get sappy, I love the friends I've made in bedrockverse, they remain some of my best and closest companions. I would not trade the times I've spent with them for the world. Beau, Holly & co, Met & Co, and Thunderbottles are some of the loveliest, most supportive, and insanely talented people I have ever had the pleasure of writing with and meeting.

This includes people who aren't part of the bedrockverse that I've written with!! Shoutout to Javi anonymous-jey casino-duckling, TGM the-g-m duckofthelaw, and AD anonymous-dentist therealnoodleman. It was so much fun bringing all the quackverses together, and I respect all of you so much as writers.

AND that also includes EVERYONE who has interacted with her!!!!!!!!!! Everyone who has sent asks (thank you so much, sorry we're terrible at replying), reblogged threads, commented, posted/liveblogged, DREW FAN ART (BLOWS OUR MINDS. THERE'S BEEN SO MUCH INCREDIBLE ART CREATED, WE CANNOT THANK ALL OF YOU ENOUGH), even just liked a thread, thank you. Seriously, it has meant a lot to us to be part of this community, and have so many people enjoy this blog. Insert Pitbull image happy you enjoyed.

So, going forward it would make us really happy if you all pictured casinoroyale as happy. He has songbird-sunrise, goofygoop, and a nation full of citizens that she loves. She babysits for tubbolul and latenightmining, and terrorizes rp!emduo not infrequently. All we really wanted was to bring c!quackity to a happy place and I feel we've done that. Of course he still has shit days, as a ptsd baddie, but the good days are more common. And if we never get to it (though I hope someday we do, maybe in the form of a collaborative one-shot or fic) know that casinoroyale and songbird-sunrise DO eventually get [REDACTED]. And one of them DOES get [REDACTED]. That was always the plan! Yay! [REDACTED]!

Not to say that we don't have more arcs planned for this blog, because we do! I just don't know when/if/how they'll ever get written, especially because a lot of my friends have moved on from their rp blogs as well. But I really do still feel happy with where he's at and happy with everything I've done. This is a project I'm really, really proud of and I will always look back on fondly.

None of this means that I'm not interested in c!Quackity or DSMP as a whole anymore, either. Actually that couldn't be further from the truth. But now I'd like to be able to focus on fics, and other forms of writing, which I've been doing more recently :D actually, you can read a short one shot I posted for exile's anniversary HERE

If you've made it this far into this long, sappy post, THANKS!!!!!! The TLDR; this blog is on an indefinite hiatus, and won't be returning to its formal glory, and that's okay. We had a really good run. Now, off we go to other things

[lilybug-02]

Hello! I just wanted to say how much I love your recent Hollow Knight comic! It's super cute and adorable, and you have a really pretty art style!

I was wondering if you'd be willing to tell us some more about it? Like who Dewi and his family are, or more about how Hallownest exists/fits into the human world, or you interpretations of stuff, or just anything really! Any world building you'd be willing to share would be really interesting!

I see that Hornet has recently come into the picture, so I think I can see some plot shenanigans starting, which is exciting and I can't wait to see where it goes. A part of me is half tempted to ask about THK, if only bc of how gargantuan a bug they'd be, but they're probably still, uh, "busy", and I wouldn't want to ruin anything you've got cooking by poking into potential spoiler territory lmao.

Anyway, just wanted to say how much I love your comic and that I can't wait to see where you take it and to learn more about it! Thank you for sharing it! Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night!

Holy COW! I was not expecting such an exquisite ask!

I'm not planning on making the comic too long (especially since I have one on hiatus and HO-boi is has that one taken me ages).

This is just a silly thought I had about Hollow Knight and it's been fun getting creative with it. No plans for lore because I haven't made any plans! I just draw what I think fits :) (although i've been doing my research!). no promises for an ending

I'd like to keep the magic in Hollownest real. No doubt, the magic and godly power are integral to the game! The Hollow Knight...hmmm I would love to have them...but...well- idk... if I do have THK, I might need to explain why they're even there and I dont really want to go too in depth.

Dewi is just a kid with his Dad in their cabin upstate. Where? No idea. But it's near a lot of caves, that's for sure!

[cupids-chamber]

𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐒

Hi, so I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. This is a impromptu decision, so I don't know if I'll come back in like a day and correct myself. But I've been debating on this decision for a long time, so yea.

[ below the undercut you'll find some of my reasons for this decision, and etc, I'd be grateful if you take your time reading it. ]

I don't feel comfortable as 'Cupid', I guess it's because 'Cupid' was never supposed to be my persona, she was just an oc who's running this blog, and it was supposed to be fun, mini lore bits, or whatever, and I thought the idea was really cool back then. . up until people started calling me Cupid.

I guess overtime, I never made a serious effort to correct it, so like it just became me? But like as shit went on and on and on . . It felt weird, I guess a sort of imposter syndrome or like identity crises started forming? I . . didn't feel like myself, I guess I felt like whatever 'Cupid' was.

And as months passed with this sort of identity crises, I started questioning my personality, my interests, if my friends here truly liked me, or if I was more open or idk myself? If they'd still like me? I'm not a chronically online person, in fact I've realized pretty recently that I hate staying in one place, I love the outdoors, and if I could I'd socialize more, but I also overthink and get embarrassed easily. I don't like being on my pc 24/7, yes it's something I still do, but I feel terrible after doing so.

I actually picked up certain interests I've had in the passed again, and I've felt more like myself. I don't know, I think I've realized that my relationship with this blog has been unhealthy, it's always been unhealthy, and my identity crises was the least extreme problem I've had due to this blog.

Actually, the game, the controversies, the fights, everything I've experienced on this blog, has left lasting physical damage on my body, I can't handle anxiety, I can't handle stress, and it's because the moment I get anxiety, stressed, or begin to overthink, I get immensely nauseas, I'm stuck in the bathroom, and if I don't throw up it feels worse, I can't eat, I'm unproductive for hours if one things ticks off my anxiety. I feel unlike myself, and the thing is, I can't fix it, it's just how I'm now. I have pills I have to take for this itself, and honestly they've not been 100% helpful.

Alongside abundance of other problems, mental breakdowns, and so much more shit, this blog has truly done nothing but make everything so much worse for me. If I had one good day or week with this blog and the people around me, I can expect a month of bad in return, and there comes a point where I genuinely cannot fake confidence out of it.

I genuinely think I need to dissociate from 'Cupid', she's not me, I'm not her. As I'm typing this, I genuinely wonder, what am I truly? Up until now my identity, was what I formed through 'Cupid', and honestly I don't even know where I'm going with this, I genuinely am just . . done. I'm tired. I've tried, I have not succeeded in overcoming any problems this blog has caused me.

I think a part of me is so attached to this blog, because of 'Cupid' and of course because it helped me out of my depressive pit, but as these last few weeks pass, and I edge closer to my final year before university, I feel myself returning to that depressive pit, worse than ever . . so at that point, I can't help but ask myself, what was the point of me staying on this blog despite the clear signs and warnings for me to leave?

I really don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm really grateful for everyone who has followed this blog, who have given me the chance to improve my writing. I guess it's time for a genuine goodbye? Because as I'm writing this, I don't really plan on coming back and that's the honest truth, with every hiatus I try and dance around a final goodbye but after this week I genuinely think this is the best decision for myself.

Note : Kindly do not call refer to me as 'Cupid', or anything if you plan on responding and if you do want to remain in contact with me, please message me for my new discord account. I probably won't respond fast as I try and maintain a distance from this account and don't bother contacting me on discord, I'm taking a break from the account as well <3

[nevermoreconfessions]

I kinda wanna see as Annabel is getting more positive character development Lenore to get more negative - see Annabel become nicer while Lenore becomes more destructive and anti-hero - would be an interesting contrast for them to swap positions

(Sorry for the 24-hour hiatus, everyone; I was very busy! I graduated, celebrated with family, and made a long drive home.)

Between you, Anon, and me, I think this is the route that the writers are taking.

First of all, Annabel Lee made her first friend. Her first actual friend. (PoshBesties™, we love them in this house.)

Prospero seems to have a geniuene care for Annabel — one that rivals what Lenore has with Duke. Prospero was the one who looked for Annabel, reached out to help her from that dusty closet, and went on a splendid little walk with her that resulted in the, "Can we be friends? Proper friends?" question.

(I half expected Prospero to be like, "...Were we not friends already?")

We can see throughout the comic that Annabel Lee and Prospero meet for tea. One can only assume that they gossip like the little old ladies that they are. With the little bits and pieces we see, I've begun to love their friendship (as little that has been shown of it).

Anyways, this friendship can be considered her first positive milestone.

Lenore?

Lenore has gotten into her first major argument with Duke (and Pluto). Morella seemed horrified upon hearing that there was a murder attempt involved. Nobody knows each other as well as they think they do. The foundations are set to crumble.

I can go on a ramble about how Lenore attaches onto these people too quickly because of her trauma/past, but anyways...

Also, Lenore is remembering more of who she was — an arsonist with a lot of issues and trauma. That's bound to cause a personality change. (I'm most excited to see how Lenore processes the relationship she had with Annabel.)

Personally, I'd find it pretty interesting if both characters had a change of heart that pushed them right back to where they started. In other words —

They might not meet in the middle, after all. They'll just be on opposite sides yet again.

EDIT: Let me specify something.

When I say that this would be interesting, I'm not saying it would be a interesting ending.

I believe that their eventual reunion would be enhanced if both of them understood where the other was coming from. That sort of, "I understand you completely, finally. Let's heal together," would be so sickeningly sweet.

[oonajaeadira]

i was rereading a GTTT chapter and Patricio has just been in my mind rent free, creeping in from daydreams in places i should not be daydreaming. So I’ve got a PATS question for you. How would Patricio and Reader navigate the issue of him being too drained sexually when Reader is needy?

Hello, lovely.

First of all, I want to apologize for the long hiatus I've taken on Pats and Pres. This ask--and many more--have been sitting in my inbox for far too long and I'd like to think that answering late is better than never. Thank you for your patience with me!!!

This is a very interesting question and it sparked some over-arching thoughts. I have half an answer for you here--from his point of view, and therefore the "drained" part of it. Pres may not seem too needy here, but look to the next installment for more on that.

Also, a non-apology here to everyone.

For so long I've made you believe that Patricio is confident, in control...or at least in denial about it when he's not. But he's growing. Changing. There may be more vulnerability here than you want and much less sexy times. Not everyone has a good day every day.

Kiss and Tell: Everyone's Allowed a Bad Day (GTTT PATS)

FANDOM: Calls - Apple TV (PATS is a character from ep. 3. “Pedro Across the Street.” This is not RPF.)

As with all of my PATS installments, warnings abound for explicit content. (This one's much tamer than most.)

(gif by cavill-henry)

It’s nights like these that he sometimes wished he smoked. He’ll pour himself a drink once the client wakes up and leaves, but he doesn’t want her to catch it on his breath.

Bourbon. Bath. Bed. Maybe something short and calm on streaming. There’s a new cowboy film just dropped by that Spanish director looks good. 

Leaning on the kitchen counter and staring out across the silent living room, he contemplates the novel you left on the coffee table. Wonders if you’re missing it.

It occurs to him that he could call you. He can do that now. He doesn’t need a reason anymore, but even if the reason is a rough day…actually, maybe that’s even more reason to call you. In fact, he really should ask you–

His phone vibrates on the countertop and he frowns. It’s your pattern and his heart races a little, not only because it’s you, but thinking he’s been lost in thought too long, that he’s missed the three-hour mark. But a flip of the phone shows him he’s got 20 minutes to go. 

Odd. It’s not like you to interrupt a session.

“Hey, muñeca, everything okay?” he mumbles, stepping barefoot out onto the front porch in nothing but his sweatpants.

Your voice sounds far away, “Oh shit,” before a riffling sound and then a clearer, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hit dial. I didn’t know I did. I was going to call and then I saw the time…I know you’re in the middle of a session, oh loverboy I’m so sorry–”

Just the sound of your voice is an instant balm. “It’s okay, it’s okay, she’s sleeping. I was actually just thinking about calling you.”

“Oh, really?” There’s something there behind your fluster, hiding among the smile in your voice, something that he might not have noticed if you hadn’t said you meant to call.

“Something you wanted to call me about?”

There’s a sound in the background. An announcement. You’re in public. “Um, no, not really. I just had a lonely moment, that’s all.”

“Well that’s an ego boost. You wanna come spend the night?”

There’s a pause. Shocked, judging by your voice. “Really? On an appointment night?”

He scratches his head and focuses on his feet as he aimlessly paces the porch. “Sure. I mean, if like a quarter after ten isn’t too late for you to drive just to go to bed.”

“With the weather shifting and how warm you run? It’s never too late to say yes to a heated bed.”

He smiles. “Glad I can be of service.” There's silence from you and he cringes. “Shit. Not you– not– Was that a bad choice of word?”

“No. It’s just–”

“Hey. I want you here tonight. I wanna talk to you.” Another silence. He supposes that sounds ominous. It shouldn’t. “You know, here. Not…on a phone.” He’s still not good at this. 

“That sounds nice…. You, uh, need anything? I’m at the grocery store.”

“No. Just you.” It feels good to say. Right. It’s what’s needed to break what feels like an odd tension into a few comfortable, mutually smiling moments. “So. The grocery store. And you’re feeling lonely. At a grocery store.”

Your laughter--hushed but musical--is kept close to the phone. “Well I am standing in produce and they just got in some preeeeeetty nice looking eggplants.”

“Wow.”

Another laugh, less hushed, throatier. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’ll let you get back to your work. I assume you’ve got a sleeping beauty to wake up.”

Pulling the phone away from his face for a timecheck, he winces. “Yeah. I’ll see you in 20?”

“I’d say I can’t wait, but you know that I will.”

Wow. “I know and I…”Something sweet twists inside. “I know.”

After you hang up he stands a minute more on the porch in the dark. The leaves are almost all off the trees now, the crickets are gone. His feet are freezing and the skin on his torso is goosebumping; doing its best–and failing–to lift his fine hairs to shield him from the autumn chill. But it’s far from unpleasant and he finds that he’s awake for the sensation in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

He’s alive again in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

The last couple of months have been…nothing short of amazing.

He should tell you that. He should say it.

But he’s got to get to that point where…he accepts it. 

Not the relationship…the fact that there’s always a possibility it’s too good to be true, that he could lose it. He could lose you.

You’re handling everything so well, but for how long? How long until you make him choose?

Oh fuck, please don’t make me choose, preciosa, please.

The phone buzzes in his hand. Timer; no need to look, just thumbs the button to silence. On another night, he’d allow himself more time, let the client sleep while he mused. But he’s got a job to do. 

And someone special arriving soon.

So he packs these thoughts away and goes quietly inside to prepare.

________

He’s just poured the detergent in the washing machine when he hears the door open. “Hey, I’m just cleaning up, gimme a second.”

Out in the entry, your shoes clatter on the floor and then your keys jingle on the kitchen counter and before he knows it you’re on him, topless and crowding him against the washing machine, kissing him like he’s just come back from war. It’s jarring but pleasant and full of hungry sighs…until there’s a ping in his calf muscle.

“Ooh, hey, Pres, hey hey, hang on.” Taking your face in his hands he calms, he whispers, he soothes you in order to soothe himself, but you catch on instantly, concern splashing over you.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

A kiss to the tip of your nose, to your smart little nose. “No, no, I’m a little sore; just had a difficult session–a difficult day, actually. And I haven’t showered yet. So don’t get yourself too worked up here. You don’t want me like this.”

He expects you to recoil from this, to find the sex with someone else still lingering on his skin. You don’t.

You simply run your hands over his sides, lean in to kiss his chin. “Of course I do. I want you like whatever you are.”

You’re backlit from the kitchen and there’s something like a soft halo around you, bringing a glow to the roll of your cheeks, the swipe of your lip. Tracing these with a finger and finding himself reflected in your eyes, he trusts you, accepts this, tries to see himself like you do. How are you so effortless?

There’s nothing but surrender when you rake your fingers through his beard and push yourself up onto tiptoe to press a warm kiss to his forehead. “But if you really feel that way, beautiful, let me run you a bath.” 

Everytime he opens his eyes and you’re there, it's like a small miracle.

“Come on,” you smile, taking his hand and guiding him to the stairs, “let me take care of you and you can tell me about your day.”

You’re perfect. He’s so grateful he picked up the phone tonight when he did.

________

“Mmmmm, that’s good.” The sigh comes up from his bottom wells, like a contented creature crawling out of hidden caverns within. The back of his head rests in your palm, warm water spilling over his scalp. Your hands whisper and calm and soothe. He spends so much time using his touch to bring relaxation to others that he’d all but forgotten that it could go the other way. And your touch–

“So there was some heavy lifting tonight, huh?” Your finger lightly wipes away an errant rivulet from the corner of his eye. “Ness, right?”

The ghost of irritation looms. “Mmm. She has a pretty severe tailbone injury. Didn’t tell me about it before she showed up. Lot of full-body lifting on the table just to get her in the right positions for stretch.”

“I see. You’ll feel it tomorrow. And sore tailbone means no actual sex tonight.”

“Oh no, we had some fun. She’s got weeks of recovery ahead of her and she needed some practice re-routing some natural orgasm responses to different muscle groups when she ejaculates.”

“Ejaculates? She…? Ohhh.” A loving hand begins to wander lightly over his chest. “I assumed. My bad.”

“Sorry. Should have been more clear. But yeah.”

“No need to apologize. I don’t know why I hadn’t just assumed that you…took all forms of payment.”

He peeks an eye open to catch your reaction as you reach over the side of the tub toward him and finds your warm, curious smile. “Not to disparage the vaginal anatomy, but sometimes it’s nice to have my dick handled by someone who has a lifetime experience with their own.”

“Noted. Fair.”

Closing his eyes and sinking into the warm bath of your care a lifetime goes by with your hands running over his skin.

“You’re very accommodating.”

A kiss lands on his temple. “Wait until you realize I’m terribly selfish and am in it for the rewards points.” When his smile fades, your hands slow. “That was a joke.”

“I know.” Sensing a shift in tone coming when he turns to you, you instinctively pull back, but he catches your hand in his, pulling it in to place a wet kiss to your knuckles. “Would you mind if I don’t want to have sex tonight?”

“Of course. That’s okay.” A half-smile. Are you covering disappointment?

“I’m more than happy to go down on you if you–”

But a shake of your head stops him. “No, it's fine. I can tell you’re tired. You said you had a hard day. Wanna tell me about it while we get you dried off and into bed?”

He feels like a child as he simply nods, allows you to help him up, succumbs to you as you care for him. It’s easy to do, to melt under your attention, to crack open and spill. He does his best not to control the spread as he generalizes a failed report at work, a difficult project he’s fallen behind on. By the time you’re sliding into the sheets and curling up next to him, he’s breaching the topic he’s been deciding and undeciding and deciding again to tell you about–that his mother called without warning.

“She wants to meet you.”

Your breathing stills in the darkness. “You told your mom about me.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I..” you stutter, “I guess I didn’t… I’m flattered that you talk about me?”

There’s a pang of guilt that he’s let you believe you’re not important enough for him to tell the world that you’re in his life. But he sighs as you squeeze your arm around his middle. “You might feel differently if you met her.”

“Are you kidding? I’d love to meet your…is it just your mom?”

“And my father. I have an older brother but he lives in Australia. Doesn’t go home much.”

“Home issssSantiago?”

“Just outside of it. Rancagua.”

Another squeeze. Perhaps that was a lie; your arm around him and the brush of your lips on his shoulder feels like his true home now. 

“So this call was stressful because she wants to meet me. And you’re nervous?”

“The call was stressful because…I don’t…want her to meet you.” Your squeeze lightens a bit and he slides his grip over your arm in case you decide he’s awful and want to pull away. He knows he should let you go if you want to but– “I wanted to ask you, Pres…I’m sorry I don’t know if I can ask this much from you but–”

It almost breaks his heart when your arm slides through his hand, when your warmth leaves his side, when you abandon him…

But it’s only for the time it takes to hear the click of the bedside lamp, register the bright sting and spill of light, and you’re back beside him, leaning over him, turning his face to yours with one patient hand on his cheek. “What’s going on. I’ve never seen you like this.”

Shit. Get it together.

“You’re going to think I’m a fucking jerk–”

“Don’t tell me what you think I’m going to think, sir. Tell me what you need from me. Just say it.”

This leaves him with depleted gambling chips, raises the stakes. But you’re right. He has to be honest.

“The relationship I have with my family is…strained. That’s why I live here and not there. I see them somewhat regularly, but the holidays are when the whole family gets together–all the cousins–and it’s just a lot. There’s a lot that’s expected, a lot of judgements…it’s overwhelming. I can barely make it through myself, but having you there? Watching you be scrutinized on top of it when we’re just figuring this out? I just…no.”

“You know I won’t tell them–”

“It’s not that, fuck, it’s not that.” He surges in for a kiss, taking you in deep, willing you to understand him by osmosis; if only… “Every time I’ve gone down for the holidays it’s stressful enough…it’s…it’s bad enough that I’m away from my clients, but–”

“But under stress the itch gets worse. And you don’t have your outlet. And you’re not in control.”

Oh god, you see him. You see him and he’s so…fucking pathetic.

The last thing he expects is for you to pepper kisses along his mouth and chin, to dot a lingering one on his cheek before pulling him into your chest, to cradle him, breathe into his hair.

But it’s exactly what you do.

“What do you need, beautiful boy? Anything you want.”

He breathes. Sighs. Curses himself for doubting you, for assuming you wouldn’t surprise him. Allows you to hold the weight of his heart on your own without a spotter.

“I need to…not do the ‘meet the family’ thing this year. I just want you to myself for a while.”

A hum of sympathy, of bittersweetness, one that stakes his heart into the ground at your feet. “Oh Patricio. Is that all?” Your breast moves under his cheek as you lean over to turn off the light, your soft curves and soft scent and soft hum whispering to him, calming him, soothing him into you. “I’ll admit that I’m a little sad that I don’t get to show you off to my family, but I definitely see the appeal of a quiet holiday season, just us hiding away from the world together. You want me to yourself? Did you really think I would find that anything but absolutely wonderful?”

All at once, the strains of the day overtake him, the need to say more is gone and took his energy to do so right along with it. A whole lifetime of relief in just an hour. That’s your secret power. Always has been. He cannot think of words more meaningful than, “Thank you.”

Your fingertips begin their pattern of affection along his jaw, tattooing a spell of sleep through him. “This really means a lot to you, huh.” He’s too gone to get his voice to work and it seems you assume he’s fallen asleep. “Well you mean the world to me. You don’t even know, mister.”

It’s not worth the effort to drag himself from the downward pull of dreams to ask you to say more about that. Not when he knows you’ll be right here in the morning and he can ask you then.

Or say the same thing right back to you.

Maybe this time he’ll find a way to do that.

______

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

[jariten]

July 2024 roundup!! (Part 1!)

Had a great month for catching up on and starting new series with August already shaping up to be a wrap-up month. This round up will be a 2 parter, one for English titles and one for Japanese!

First is Ima Koi by Ayuko Hatta. 9 volumes is such a perfect length for the Margaret campus romance and what's better than a campus romance by someone who's been making them for 20 years. I can't find anything that I think is unique about the series aside from the fact that it hits all the right beats, the characters and their relationships are well rounded, and Hatta (known for titles like Wolf Girl and the Black Prince, and Bye-bye Liberty) knows just when to be restrained and when to give the readers what they want. I just really enjoy it when an author becomes so competent in a genre in this way and had a great time the whole way through. Hatta in the columns also expressed wanting to move on from the campus romance, which I'd love to see because I think an adult romance would release her full potential, but in the final volume announced that she's taking a hiatus from manga to explore various jobs in the food and service industry. I love that for her, and if she graces us with manga once again I will be there to check it out.

Hirayasumi by Keigo Shinzo I won't linger on for too long since I'm the one late to the party and only one volume in, but I already love the cast and how they interact and the tempo of the narrative. I'm so looking forward to keeping up with this series!

Her Frankenstein by Kawashima Norikazu is the debut title in Living the Lines Books new horror imprint Smudge which promises to deliver exciting deep cuts from the pulp world of horror manga. Her Frankenstein follows a man with a shattered sense of self which is further fragmented when he becomes haunted by his own past. Accompanied by an always thorough Ryan Holmberg essay this is a great read for psychological horror fans and horror manga fans interested in acquiring an even broader look at the genre landscape. The next title in the imprint will be UFO Mushroom Invasion by Shirakawa Marina expected to be released on October 1st

Last but certainly not least, I finally got my hands on Viz's long overdue edition of Ai Yazawa's Neighborhood Story volumes 1-2! Overwhelmed with things to say but will keep it short. First time I read it I was ever reliant on a dictionary but was nontheless swept into this tale of adolescent love, friendship, and growth. Coming back to it since then I'm once again overwhelmed with adoration for her work and how she is able to capture the ups and downs of the emotionally volatile teenage years. Timelessly stylish and one of a kind artistically I am so happy that new readers have yet another way to stumble across this work and that long time fans can finally have it in their collection! When I ran a poll a couple months ago asking if I should switch to english caps of the series when the time came the english caps won out, so next time I refill I will go back to volume 1. Will try to avoid dupes in order to speed things up, but if there is a specific cap I've posted in the past that you'd like to see posted again but in english let me know.

[goldenpinof]

curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

[lemotmo]

Hello lovely, I am the anon blog and I am so sorry! I feel your pain because life in the trenches sucks. I don't allow my stuff to be posted to Twitter either, that place is a dumpster fire of vileness. I never know what people are sending to you but I have posted a message on my blog asking everyone to take a break for a bit. I'm not sure how this became a big deal in the first place, lol, but it can be very overwhelming and is very much why I go out of my way these days to be harder to find. My ask box is a lot. I do check in on your blog from time to time and will be happy to tell people to stop sharing with you at any time. I think we're close to the end though so hopefully peace will be restored relatively soon to both our blogs. I am so sorry for any trouble, that any of my followers might have caused. You seem so lovely and I don't want to be a party to anything that is troubling or upsetting. I hope your break is peaceful 💗

Hi dear! I'm so happy to hear from you.

I have thought so much about you today. I cannot even imagine what your inbox must look like. I so sympathise.

I very much agree on the Twitter thing. I lurk there once in a while, but never participate. It's a scary place.

As you probably already read on my blog, the lovely anons that send me your messages have reached out to me asking if I wanted them to stop sending them. I told them to keep on sending them, but that I wouldn't be posting them yet. I'm just going to be laying low for a couple of days, before I resume posting them. I refuse to back down because of some bullies. I have been in fandom for too long at this point. I'm too old to be pushed into a corner. xD

Listen, the reason why your posts have become such a big thing is because Tumblr has always been a fairly quiet and peaceful place to ship Buddie. Then episode 7x04 came along and brought utter chaos. Most of us had no idea what was going on. We were flabbergasted. I just remember thinking: 'Yes, Buck is bi now. It's obvious this Tommy guy isn't going to last, so maybe we'll finally get buddie. Everyone will be happy about that.' Anyway, you know what happened next. LOL

We were all over the place during that first hiatus and 7b, never sure what to expect from the whole BT relationship or the obvious Buddie they were still pushing on the show. We needed some stability and common sense back in this fandom and your posts have partly brought that back. I have so many people in my asks talking about your posts in a constructive, meaningful and sensible way. That is exactly what this fandom needs. It doesn't need negativity and spewing hatred and slurs, but it needs logical thinking and the deconstruction of patterns. Next to that you also give us a great insight into the inner workings of fandom. I find it all utterly fascinating.

Thank you for checking in on my blog once in a while. That's really sweet. If it ever comes to a point where I need a break from posting all together, I'll make sure to let you know. But I really don't think I'll ever get to that point, because I too have a feeling that the end of all of this is near.

And don't worry. Don't feel bad about any trouble you or your followers might have caused. I made the choice to post these asks in the first place. I could have backed down at any point, but I didn't. So, no one to blame here. Don't worry.

Have a great week! Feel free to check in once in a while. Oh, when all this is over and done with, don't hesitate to jump into my DMs. I'd love to say 'hi' to the real you one day. I have a feeling we could have some interesting conversations. ;)

❤️❤️❤️

[itsclydebitches]

So any thoughts on the news from Rooster Teeth regarding The stuff they're putting on the rooster teeth site?

I've only heard about this all second-hand, but the anthology series in particular has me going "Meh" at best and "Not again" at worst. The latter because (as we're all well aware) RWBY has a long history of dividing up information across its (flexible) canon, rather than consolidating it within the story proper, which makes that story... a mess. So I can perfectly picture a version of Volume 10 where important questions/revelations/world building are glossed over—or outright ignored—and when fans rightly want to know why the main characters aren't getting info about what occurred while they were gone, the answer is, "Oh we heard about that in passing in the side show developed during the hiatus." Emphasis on "we"—the viewers. RWBY tends to assume that if the viewer has certain information then they don't need to repeat that for the characters, despite this being a series where secrets and half-truths abound. And while that's a logistical issue all on its own, it also robs us of the chance to see the characters reacting. I don't want to watch a side installment to figure out what was happening in Remnant during Volume 9, then watch a Volume 10 where I have to assume via twitter announcements that the girls maybe learned about an undetermined amount of that stuff off screen. I want to SEE them learning with us in real time and once we have that framework, yeah, then you can flesh it out with an anthology series. It's far more satisfying to learn alongside Ruby that—as a random example—Sun and Neptune had all these cool adventures as a way of forwarding their friendship, then see those adventures animated down the line. As opposed to seeing it and then going, "I guess Ruby heard about that too? Maybe?? They haven't actually interacted on screen yet though, so...."

Of course, this is likely being done not only to fill the RWBY void, but to get our some of that Volume 10 info (epilogue included) in case the real deal is never green-lit. But again, I'd rather have confirmation. If Volume 10 is never going to arrive then fine, I get it, you publish what you can. But if there is still a chance of it happening then RT is shooting itself in the narrative foot by rushing and telling bits of the story too early. The hook of Volume 9's ending is the shock of seeing everyone semi-united in Vacuo, but still dealing with a myriad of problems. What happened immediately after evacuation? How did people rebuild? When (and why tf) did Ruby become this god-like martyr? Have they already spoken to Theodore? What new plans have been made to combat Salem? There are a lot of questions that arise from a time skip, questions the characters share, but if the audience gets many of those answers before they do AND the show doesn't lean into repeating that information for us to indulge in the characters' emotional reactions to it instead... what little that's currently interesting about Volume 10 goes down the drain.

[lenaboskow]

I think we all need to be prepared and remember that this was a shorter season (only 10 eps) and they already knew they had the S8 renewal. So I'm expecting several storylines to not be/get resolved by the end of this season, B/T's relationship being one of them.

The writing is on the wall, though, and it's clear they won't last too long into S8 imo. Tommy seemed like a colleague more than a boyfriend during the medal ceremony scenes. Buck never actually confirmed he was going to see Tommy (and if he was, well, that went out the window when Kim walked in. Priority: Eddie) and his conversation with Bobby felt more like he needed to be...convinced? reassured? about him/them. Reacting to Bobby (of all people in Buck's life) saying "he's good for you" with "...how do you know?" instead of something like "yeah, I think so too" or "yeah he's great, I REALLY like him!" would not fill me with "endgame"-type confidence (or any confidence, really.)

I've gotten distracted but my point is: while I'd be pleasantly surprised, we need to not be expecting a B/T breakup next week or even off camera between S7 and S8 (unless they don't want to invite Lou back after hiatus) nor am I expecting Buddie feelings realization just yet. But it's clear that B/T's days are numbered. And Tim is getting a whole 18 episode season WITH earlier confirmation of said season...he's going to have so much time to plot! (and torture us all!)

i agree, the only way i can see a bucktommy breakup next week is if it's because buck leaves a date for chris and tommy says "it's been fun"

interesting take on the bobby scene... i didn't even think of the fact that maybe buck needed someone to confirm he was going for the right person. he's never needed that before now, and considering how he came out i don't think it's cause it's a man

anyways, going into next week with zero expectations in terms of buddie realizations. stay strong soldiers we'll get through this haitus (can't say the same about s8)

[arthenaa]

Hey! I see your ask box is open so I thought I drop by and request something.

So.... my birthday is on September 21 th wich is (hier in Germany at least) in 4 day.... would you do me a brithday favor and make a headchannon/ story of female MC that is dating the hogwarts legacy boys (separated ofc) having a fun birthday with there boyfriend? That would mean the world to me.

Thank you in advance and If you don't want or can't do it that is fine too. Thank you for taking your time and reading this. Have a good one^^

Your Most Special Day - Hogwarts Legacy Boys x Reader

SUMMARY: It's your most special day with your most special person.

NOTE: Hey darling! Happiest birthday to you <3 My time is six hours ahead so I scheduled this to be released exactly at 12:00 am for you. Wishing you the best and have a wonderful day! Here's a song to set the mood and to also put the boys' feelings into a hymn <3 and if you can! try reading the english lyrics of the song. It really puts their words into reality. Hope you enjoy! (also my first work back after a hiatus! im gonna be active soon i promise) also not sure if this meant ALL the boys in HL but i only did my 4 boys

OMINIS GAUNT

Your love story with Ominis had been simple

It was direct and to the point

There was no dilly-dallying

You had already acknowledged your interest in his way before you had the chance to interact with him

When your options were only to gaze at him from afar and take little guesses on how you think his personality would be

It's safe to say that you weren't far off from your assumptions

It began with small interactions, saying hi to him in the hallways, opening the door for him, borrowing a quill from him when you "forgot" one.

Until eventually, all your hi's turned into hugs for greetings, opening the door for him to go to class hand in hand, borrowing quills to borrowing his robes when you "forgot" yours

It didn't take long for the two of you to establish your place in the romantic aspect of your relationship

Ever since you stepped foot in Hogwarts, discovered yourself, fought wizards and the dark arts, and just experienced a brand new journey, he was there to witness it all

He was a definition of consistency.

The one true constant in your life that begins at your first step as a wizard to the end of your journey as a student and into the future

And with your special day coming up, who else other than him would allow you to reminisce the fond memories of both the past, present, and the probability of it in the future

It's safe to say that Ominis had always been destined to be your definition of long-lasting.

"Happiest birthday to my muse," His voice resonates throughout the room as he takes careful steps towards you. In his hand is a small cake, candles stacked neatly on top of it—so orderly positioned and intricate that it prompts giggles out of you as he takes another step. He hears your laughter and only smiles. "My Pandora, the love of my life, my light."

You smile, clasping your hands together to your chest as you train your eyes on him. The low light of your small home contributes to the homey ambiance as the light from the flame of the candles illuminates the features of the face you've come to love over the years.

"I trust that the introduction was a bit much," You let out a giggle at his jesting to which he nods, admittedly. "I-I wasn't sure if this would be enough but then I remembered, you had always loved that little fox origamis I made for you back then so, I just went with what I have."

His hands shake as he grips the sides of the plate tighter. You lick you lips, eager to listen to the rest of his words.

"To think that borrowing quills from me would lead to finding you, that's probably something that I'd reminisce for a lifetime," Ominis smiles. "We've been with each other through every ups and downs—highs and lows. I couldn't ask for anyone better to share my journey with."

You bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from letting your emotions get ahead of you. You had always been a little weak with Ominis. A detail he often held above your head like a prized niffler. Other than the jesting and bribery, for you, it acted more as evidence. A proof of your ever-growing love for him.

You glance down at the fox-shaped cake, designed to imitate that of a fox but it just looks like a mess of colors and lines that 'tried' to imitate one. The thought of Ominis baking around and messing in the kitchen puts a smile on your face.

"I know you're looking at my cake, stop judging it," He jokingly comments causing you to break the silence.

"It's- it looks—"

"Like a giant purple toad shat on it? Yes." Ominis tilts his head with a 'duh' look on his face.

"I was going to say modernistic," You retorted, eyebrows raised to defy him.

"Impressionism had never looked better," He deadpanned. You laugh at his humor. You take a step forward, encasing his hands that grasp the plate. Your eyes finds itself studying the little details and imperfections on his face—the moles that shape the universe of his skin. He looks gorgeous.

"Happy Birthday, love. Make a wish," He whispers, the light of the candle illuminating both of your features—casting an alluring glow that further emphasizes the beauty of your love. You pursed your lips, closing your eyes before blowing.

The light casts off at the gust of wind as Ominis smiles and says well done. He places the plate down on the flat surface of the table before turning back to you.

Finally free, he intertwines your bodies with arms encasing your waist. You envelope your arms around his neck in response.

There's a comfortable silence before he utters the next words, "What'd you wish for?"

You shrug with a smile. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Mhm," You hum, placing a chaste kiss on his confused lips.

"Why?" He asks. There's a pause as you laugh at his inquiries of curiosity.

"Cause I've already got everything that I've wanted." You smile, eyes dreamily staring as you push a stray hair behind his ear. "You."

SEBASTIAN SALLOW

Unlike Ominis, loving Sebastian had been a long journey

It was more of an inactive volcano

It had always been there—that probability. That capability of loving him but it was a matter of when those feelings would burst at a realization

It was a question of 'since when did I see him like this?"

Sebastian had been one of your many first friends.

He was naturally a people magnet, always captured new blood whenever they entered within his vicinity

He was loved and admired by everyone and you couldn't blame yourself for also falling for his silly little tricks

It also wasn't hard falling into tune with him

Somehow, with Sebastian, falling in love with him didn't seem hard

It was because of this that realization came much to a later date

You had always viewed your relationship as something closer than a friendship and one that really showed a bond of trust and loyalty

It had always been there and you had just taken a while to realize

Loving him was easy.

He showed you the world with an arm outstretched and you placed your hand willingly and followed him in

Loving him felt complete

And on your special day, who else can make you whole with just a smile but him?

You didn't know when it happened.

It was all just a blur. A series of memories all clumped up in the space reserved just for him. You remember bits and pieces but you can't seem to put a finger when you saw him like this.

Everything seemed to not be on par with time. Looking at him felt like the world had been a second later—slow-moving hands, traveling lights, and blurred faces. All you could see was him.

You watched as the party went on, laughter resounding throughout the room, joy evident on their face and the festivity of your birth hanged high into the sky. Yet despite all of these reminders of celebration, all you could feel was him.

He eyes you at the other side of the room, a cup of wine in hand. He looks at you with fondness and a desire deeper than what meets the eye. Your breath hitches at his unwavering stare.

Suddenly it feels like it's only the two of you in the room. Wanting, needing, loving.

It's him who breaks as he places down his drink before marching towards you. You pay no mind to teasing looks from your friends as he excuses you both from their presence with a charming smile and pull of your hand.

Your eyes train on his broad back, maneuvering you through the crowd, responding to curt greetings with a simple nod. They knew better than to interrupt Sebastian's quest with you.

You then find yourself in the comforts of your room, door closed as he positions you a few meters from the bed. He closes the door with a slight push, taking a moment of reprieve before turning towards you.

"Hi," he mutters as if you hadn't been staring each other down a few moments ago. You ride along.

"Hi.'

He chuckles softly as he takes a few steps toward you. You veer your head up to accomodate to his height.

"You look pretty, doll." He mumbles, tucking a hair behind your ear. You smile at his compliment.

"Thank you, love."

"I know you know this but uh," He pauses, taking your hands in his. "I love you."

The three words cast a flutter in your heart. You purse your lips, eyes peering up at him. He smiles down with that charming grin of his. He quickly places a kiss on your forehead.

"I just wanted to say it to you," He adds. "You had been with me in the most crucial moments of my life. You bled, wept, and sacrificed with me. Seeing you across that room had only further proved that I'll always want you—need you in my life. Loving you felt right."

He pulls out a box from the pockets of his slacks, opening it delicately. A necklace sits pretty inside it. The gem gleams at you as you gaze at it with surprise. You eye the intricate design of the pendant, carefully and exquisitely encasing the gem within it's design.

"Sebastian—"

"Happy birthday, baby," He cuts you off as you begin to tear up. You lick your lips as he pulls the necklace from its casing. You turn around, casting your hair aside as he puts it on swiftly. He then turns you towards the mirror.

"Dear heavens," He sighs as he gazes deeply into your eyes at the reflection. "You are an envy to one's vanity."

You giggle at his flattery. You quickly turn around to press a loving kiss to his lips. He pulls you close by your waist, encasing you close to his body.

"My everything," He whispers, a fond smile gracing his lips. "I am but a devotee to your love."

"And I, you."

AMIT THAKKAR

Dating Amit was destined

Like the stars that encompass the sky, one was always destined to burn brighter than others

He had been that star

There were a few things that convinced your peers of your fated match

You were into Divination, he was into Astrology

He liked tea and you liked sweets

He loved the galaxy and you liked possibilities which both are endless

You liked exploring and he had a knack for curiosity

The two of you are in harmony to the point that you couldn't imagine spending time without him

Loving him was fated

You somehow knew at the back of your mind that meeting this curious and wandering mind of a Ravenclaw at the Astronomy tower was fated.

You believed in anything and he believed in everything

A perfect match to your soul

And on your special day, who else could make you feel like the universe could just be at the palm of your hands but him?

"There you go!" Amit chuckles as he finally adjusts the party hat on your head.

"Do I really have to wear this?" You cast an incredulous look at him as he peers at you with squinted eyes.

"Yes, it adds to the festive nature," He smiles as he pinches your cheek. "Muggles love to wear that. Don't you look pretty?"

"Haha."

Amit chuckles at your response. You both are currently seated outside of your home, spread out on a picnic blanket—looking out on the stars. A telescope is placed on the side with assortment of food laid out on the fabric.

You grab a grape from its container before popping it in your mouth. "This better be good."

"It is!" Amit retorts as he settles down beside you, shoulder bumping against yours. "Just wait."

"Mhm," You mumble, chewing as you look up at the night sky. There's a pause before you continue. "Wait for what?"

Amit rolls his eyes. "It won't be a surprise if I say it, no?"

"Right, sorry Mr. Thakkar."

"Don't call me that," He furrows his eyebrows as you laugh. "It makes me sound old."

"You are old." You chuckle. He pouts at your response. As an apology, you lean close and peck his lips. "I still love you anyway."

Silence falls between the two of you once again as you gaze out at the clear night sky. The stars twinkle with each passing minute, allowing you to marvel at the beauty of it all.

"Ursa Major," Amit points out with his hand to the sky. You easily follow his gaze, seeing the famous constellation with each dart of your eyes as you trace over the connections.

"Pretty."

"You're prettier," He comes back with a cheesy line. You raise your eyebrow at him which prompts a blush on his cheeks.

"Really?"

"I thought I'd sound cool..."

You giggle at his defeated tone, placing a kiss on his cheek. Amit checks his pocket watch before grasping your shoulder as he pointed once again at the night sky.

"Look," he says. You watch with bated breath, curious at whatever Amit prepared to show you. You gasp as you finally see it. A flash of light smudging against the night sky. A meteor.

"Oh my," You revel in its beauty as it travels across the sky. Amit smiles at you before tapping your shoulder once more.

"Wish before it's gone, beloved." He nods at you before you both close your eyes to wish. There's a moment of silence before you both open your eyes once more.

"That was amazing!" You cheer as you grasp at his hand. There's a fond smile on his face. You cast a gracious look at him. "Thank you for showing me this."

"I wanted to see it with you," He responds. He delicately encases his hands over yours. "There's a saying back in my hometown that wishing upon a shooting star brings forth luck and good fortune."

You wait for him to continue as he pauses.

"There's also a saying that wishing upon a shooting star with someone is an act of ensuring longevity in the relationship," Amit adds, voice shaky as he rubs his thumb against the knuckles of your hand. "I continue to wish a life with you, Y/N. Fate allowed me to meet you and here I am now, the happiest man on Earth."

You stifle a sob, hiding it behind a laugh. He smiles at your teary face as he prevents himself from bursting into tears. He pulls your hand up to kiss the back of it before smiling.

"Happy Birthday, mera pyaar," (my love) Amit casts you a fond look, love bursting with each breath and touch against you. "You are the star that guides me in the sea of the unknown. My compass. My direction. My light. I adore thee as much as the stars litter the galaxy in an endless pursuit of existence."

A tear falls down your eye. "And you are the string tied to my fate. You are heaven's gift to me. I don't know how many times I loved you in my past lives but I know I'll choose you again in another life time and the life times thereafter."

GARRETH WEASLEY

Dating Garreth had been an adventure

a series of twists and turns that allowed you to unveil each layer with new emotions

He was an enigma

A mystery you were willing to uncover

And somehow in the midst of all that, you began to allow yourself to love him

Loving him felt like journey

It was there then it wasn't

A mix of highs and lows, each arc getting more and more deeper than the last

You expect after getting pranked and kicked out of potions by a Weasley would lead you to fall in love with one

Garreth made you feel alive

He's the thrill that thrums deeply in your veins long after he's gone

A high you can't get out of

No potion can ever cure a heart as sick as this

And on your special day, who else can you make you feel the thrill of an adventure but him?

"Tada!" He uncovers your eyes to show you the surprise. You adjust your eyes to revel in the beauty of the place. He had taken you to a quiet and neat little cottage with a majestic view of the sunset. You turn to him in surprise.

"How did you?"

"I pulled a couple of strings from Sebastian who referred this place then got some help from mum who helped out with the decor," Garreth grins as he grasps your hand in his. You smile at the beauty of the scene, the sun reflecting nicely across the meadow.

"Thank you." You tilt your head, eyes forming a look of gratitude before pulling him in a kiss. He melts into your touch, kissing back with subtle passion before he pulls away with a smile.

"I know things have been hard lately," He starts, taking your hand in his as he rubs his thumb against your knuckles. "I admire you for your hardwork and fortitude. You fight through it just as you have always been even if things are getting a bit rougher than the last and it just—" he laughs in between. "I just feel like a teenager falling in love with you all over again."

You lick your lips as you train your eyes at him, waiting for him to continue.

"You once told me I was an adventure. A thrill that makes you feel alive," He says with a love running deep in that green eyes of his. "But you, you have always reminded me of home. A personification of comfort and love. Everytime I look at you, I'm reminded of a past I reminisce with fondness, a present I cherish, and a future I can't wait to have. With you, I can just be me. I can just be Garreth. Just me."

You smile at him, tears collecting at the bottom of your eyes. He tucks a hair over your ear.

"Happy Birthday, darling." He mumbles, pulling you in a hug as he places a kiss on your temple. "Let's have this week as a moment of reprieve from any worries and just be ourselves."

You hug him tighter against you. "I'm here. With you. Just me."

He chuckles against your neck. "Just you and I, baby."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

END NOTE: and that's the end of it teehee. I hope yall enjoyed this !! stay tuned for more of my works. love yall 💗 see u mwa

[diabolikpersonals]

Heyyy, just an interesting question I had, do you think diabloic lovers could’ve been more popular and better if it wasn’t a “romance” thing, for me I feel like it would’ve been wayyy better if they were to choose the healing from trauma route for the franchise, esp since it would’ve made sense since the vampires had traumatic childhoods. Not only that the “romance” isn’t even romance it’s straight up (TW: SA, abuse and manipulation) and it’s hella weird that most of the characters are minors. Sorry for blubbering so much but just a thought I had 😭😭😭

You and I just aren't members of the target audience, anon, but dialovers is plenty popular because it's a dark romance. I get that the eng-speaking fandom isn't all that active, and things are especially quiet because we're in the middle of a long hiatus, but it's a fairly popular otome game series with lots of dedicated fans, u know? And the thing everybody knows it for, and the thing that the fans are always talking about, are its dark romantic fantasy sexy vampire stuff. Getting preyed on by a hot vampire guy is a pretty normal & common fantasy to have, imo. so I don't think it needs to change to become more popular or anything, in fact I think it'd become less popular fsdghfh

But I hear you, because I'm not part of the target audience either (opposite end of the spectrum, personally...!) and I'm mostly into it for plot n character analysis. (I know that sounds so pretentious but I can't help being a nerd about this stuff ok.......I definitely have my ships too) I've definitely felt, as I was playing and reading, that this is an amazing story that is kind of held back because it's an otome game and the law requires them to stick blood-sucking scenes into almost every single chapter.

I'd argue that dialovers already is steering itself in a direction where it's focusing more on character-driven plot and less on romance. A lot of people complained about LE for this exact reason. Personally, I like it...! I know it's because I'm not the target audience but when I'm playing these games, getting through the bloodsucking scenes is such a chore, especially when I'm like "GUYS there's a demon war going on!!!" lmao. I thought this was an unpopular perspective to have in this fandom, but I've met some people who share the same opinions as me, and I think both parties can be satisfied (and I'm putting this in bold because I'm so so serious) if dialovers released a series of light novels.

This is my newest thing I'm campaigning for bc I think it would be the perfect supplementary material for dialovers. The best blood-sucking scenes are gonna be in the game, since they've got the visuals and the voice acting. Novels aren't structured like the games, so while they'll definitely still have blood-sucking scenes in them (duh), they won't have to interrupt important plot points to have 5 or 6 unnecessary ones. It's a retelling so you can take the scenes from the games and describe them in way more detail! Dialovers as a tighter story! More insight into how the characters act, and what they're thinking and feeling! Intimate scenes described in prose! Cool new art for the covers! And rejet makes money without the need for voice acting, so it can be done during the hiatus! Everybody's happy, right??? rejet pls hear my pitch.......

[alex51324]

OK, so I'm now caught up on Interview With the Vampire (TV). I have some observations:

Wow, was that trial ever a master-class in poor-little-meow-meowification! I was legit getting flashbacks from the (season 1-hiatus) Izzy Trenches, with the whole, "Pointing out that he doesn't have to put up with my behavior, and he wouldn't recommend anyone else do so either, is--due to Meow-Meow's personal circumstances--an act of such exquisite cruelty that it excuses pretty much anything he does while he's upset about it," and "sure, yeah, this thing Meow-Meow did sounds bad to you normies, but because we're pirates vampires it's barely anything; a slight loss of temper for which he should be forgiven completely because the other dude said something mean", thing, plus the side of "Oh, but that threatening to leave is the most brutal form of abuse thing applies only to Meow-Meow, and in only one direction; it's fine for decide to part ways with anyone else at any time for any reason, and nobody else has any right to find that at all upsetting."

(To be clear, I genuinely liked this in IWTV; it was interesting seeing an audience falling eagerly into this trap, when the audience is also fictional, and the show itself is winking and nodding to us about it.)

(I do wonder if the show is going to grapple with this at all next season--the reunion suggests that Louis had also fallen into this trap. I'm unconvinced by the fan-theories suggesting that Lestat was an unwilling participant in the trial; there might have been some use of vampire mind-powers to keep him on-script during the proceedings, but I think he genuinely didn't realize he gave a shit about Claudia until it was too late.)

2. The aging-up of Claudia's character (she was a little little girl in the books) puts her at right about the same age as The Vampire Currently Known As Armand was when he was originally sex trafficked as a human, and I wonder about that stirring up some long-buried feelings. Does the grotesque parody of innocence inherent in Baby LuLu have some parallel in his experience as a sexually exploited child? What happened to Arun--or to Amadeo, even--if he failed to play his part with a reasonable facsimile of enthusiasm?*

On the one hand, I'm interested in these potential parallels; on the other hand (glancing back up at point 1), it's a tricky needle to thread, to see these parallels as contextualizing Armand's actions, but not excusing them. I do not entirely trust fandom not to turn this into, "Well, she reminded him of His Worst Trauma, so everything he did to her was basically self-harm, and he pretty much had to kill her in order to achieve closure on that period of his life**."

(*Some of this may be addressed in the books? The Vampire Armand came out on the waning edge of my Anne Rice phase; I'm pretty sure I read it, but I don't remember much about it, and I don't have a copy. The parallels with Claudia wouldn't be, though, because in the books she was 5.)

(**Izzy Trenches flashbacks again.)

3. As someone who read the books back in the day, I appreciated the brief mention in S1 that Louis's grandfather had owned a plantation, worked by men who "shared his complexion but not his circumstances." To me, that line opened up the possibility of reimagining Book!Louis as also being Black.

(To be clear, he canonically could not have been; beyond that fact that It Would Have Come Up, in the first few pages--which I just re-read--he is described as being bone-white. Even if he was mixed and white-passing, it doesn't quite work.

However, Anne Rice did write a book, Feast of All Saints, about a mixed-race protagonist, who was the son of a slave owner and a woman he enslaved. I remember almost nothing about it, except that the white father had promised to free him and send him abroad to be educated, but broke that promise. Porting some of that over onto a book-canon-era Black Louis could be very interesting.

I'd have to re-read both books--and probably TVL, too--to be able to even think about writing it, which is...unlikely, but I put that idea out into the universe.)