#i'll probably listen to it on the train ride today or tomorrow

[you-will-return]

--

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, July 16th, 2024.

How have you been doing? I'm a little worn out from volunteering, but otherwise, I've been doing well. Cassie was telling me that I need to stay for a full day sometime, that way I can understand what they mean about the nonsense that goes on in the evenings. Basically, over the past few months, the time they actually get off work has been pushed farther and farther back. They're supposed to get off at 5pm, but Alex said the other day that she didn't get off until 6pm (and she already comes in ~30 minutes early). There also seems to be some growing animosity/resentment between the dog & cat people. Dog people are allegedly the hold-up. I'm not sure what changed, but it wasn't like this last summer. Cattery is usually finished early, often expected to help with the dog stuff; but when they ask for the final check to be done so they can go home, they're typically left for last.

I feel like that's eventually what will drive Cassie to quit. She had somewhere she had to be last night and they dragged things out until she was like, Yeah, I need to leave. She said it was "fine" in that situation; but in the future, when she has cheer practice, she's not going to be able to wait around for them because cheer won't take work as an excuse for being late. Also, I was told that Lucy might be looking for another job. Lucy told Cassie she wasn't going to quit until she found one, but after her absence last weekend, she might have just decided to go for it.

I know I'm essentially backseat managing here, lmao, but they really need to get ahead of this turnover issue. Since I started volunteering again last summer, they've lost something like 15 employees.

Anything you're looking forward to? Hopefully going for a picnic at the Mountain Park tomorrow. I haven't been there since last autumn, which is way too long. There's a certain rock in a certain stream that I just need to lie down on for a while.

Do you or anyone you know play the violin? No.

Do you have a nice view out of the closest window? It's just a view of some houses. And today, some construction. They're doing idk what on the corner diagonal from us.

What is one of your favorite breakup songs? I don't think I'm really a fan of any breakup songs.

Do you know anyone named Georgia or George? No.

What age did you learn how to ride a bike? Without training wheels? I think I was around 6 years old.

Are you currently listening to music or watching TV? I'm not. Sometimes I will listen to music while taking surveys, but it just feels like a bit much atm.

What is your morning routine? On volunteer days: depending on the day, get up somewhere between 5:15-5:45am. I'm usually awake a bit before that, though, so I just lie in bed and listen to something on YouTube. Shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, gather the remainder of my things, talk with my dad for a bit. Then, depending on the day, leave somewhere between 6:20-6:45am.

On Wednesday: wake up, brush my teeth, make myself presentable, go grocery shopping, then come home and eat breakfast.

On Saturday: wake up whenever I feel like it, make breakfast, clean my bedroom, and make some art.

Are you someone who gets easily agitated by hearing someone chewing? No. It doesn't tend to bother me.

What was the last text you sent? It was a text to my mom. We might be going to see Despicable Me 4 on Saturday, and I was like, "I'll finally find out what all those little yellow minions are about."

What did you last have to eat? Some mixed veggies with sriracha sauce and a cheese and jalapeno sandwich.

What's your favorite kind of oatmeal/porridge? If we're talking about the flavored pouches, then probably brown sugar, birthday cake, strawberry, or peach. However, I typically use plain oatmeal as my base and use fruit, peanut butter, etc, to flavor it from there.

Have you ever ate a whole pizza in one sitting? I don't think so…maybe a half, though…? In elemntary school, we used to have pizza days on Friday (was it weekly? monthly? I can't recall); if you didn't "flip a card" (their disciplinary system), then you could pay some small $ amount that I no longer recall and get a half/full pizza, a cookie, and drinks.

What are some things you are grateful for? Volunteering. Even with all the drama, I can't imagine giving it up. I feel like it's a good exercise in detachment (not that I'm so detached, lmao; I'm obviously here dishing the constant tea). Like, if you ever just want to be an observer without any real expectations or responsibility for the system as a whole, go volunteer somewhere. It's an interesting experience… It's helping me learn to step back, stop trying to control everything, and just sort of let everything play out the way it will. It's not that I've given up all autonomy to the flow, but seriously, sometimes it helps to really see just how little of this teeming, chaotic world has anything to do with me. Thought I was going to make a difference; instead, found out what a cosmic speck I am. Maybe not what I wanted, but definitely what I needed. Still a speck, but now a free speck.

What's the last thing you done while outside? Drive, I guess.

How often do you do laundry? Every few days. It just depends on how quickly it piles up.

Have you already had your birthday this year? Yes, back in March. Which feels like forever ago. June 1st feels like it was last week, but March feels like it was last year.

Last thing you done before this survey? Vacuum the living room and dining room.

Do you like sleeping with multiple pillows? I have multiple pillows on my bed, but I only sleep with one.

How many candles do you have in your bedroom? A couple.

What emojis have you used the most here recently? D; and :')

What color is your favorite shirt? I don't have a favorite shirt, but my favorite hoodie is black.

Do you currently smell food cooking? No. Oh, but at the shelter earlier, I walked out of cattery to go to the bathroom and it smelled like someone was cooking hot dogs with ketchup or something. Come to find out it was ant killer. What a wild smell for such a thing…like luring them to a picnic or something…

If you were given $1,000 to spend at one store. What's your store of choice? Walmart (groceries).

How much sugar do you consume on a daily basis? Idk.

Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? Yeah. Well, it's custard, but same basic deal. It's from Culver's. Strawberry cheesecake and mint choco-chip.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "chaos"? Chaos theory, chaos magicians…etc.

Do you own anything that has an animated character on it? Somewhere.

Have you used a microwave today? Yeah.

What's the last book you read? Still in the midst of the third Dune book. I haven't picked it up in a while, though. I just haven't felt much like reading lately.

What's something that always makes you cringe? Idk.

What's a word or phrase you say a lot? My toxic trait is that I'm blind to my own annoying catchphrases.

What's something that always makes you emotional? Music. Not always in a good/cathartic way. Sometimes in an overwhelming/spiraling way.

How many times have you changed clothes today? Twice. From pajamas to volunteer clothes and back to pajamas.

What's on your mind currently? Just how busy this next week-ish feels. I hope I don't get a migraine…

In what ways have you changed over the past year? So many ways.

Do you really care about others opinions of you? Ehhhhh. Much less than I used to, but still to some extent.

What's your favorite pasta? Spirals, bowties, macaroni elbows.

Do you currently see anything yellow? Some watercolor flowers I painted.

What did you last try to do and failed? Not sure.

Does your bathroom have a certain theme or color scheme? Not really.

If you have Netflix or any streaming service.. what's your favorite shows to stream? N/a.

Are you currently wearing anything red? No.

What was the last thing that caught your eye while shopping? I'm not sure.

What's a social media site you have no interest in? Twitter, Facebook, Tik Tok…I don't even know what's out there these days because I don't keep up.

Have you ever tripped and fallen in a public place? Yeah.

When did you last buy a dairy product? Last Wednesday.

What's the last song you sang out loud? I'm not sure.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

My truth(s) 8-19-23

"The way you would draw a tree is different from the way some else would draw a tree - and that's the way it's supposed to be!" - Mr. Fred Rogers

So much of our lives is spent interacting with others. . .

It's hard to differentiate between not caring what some say or feel, while trying to listen to those we do care about.

"I don't care what they think!"

"I'll accept this person's criticism, but not yours."

All the while, everyone has an opinion for you.

~

Do you walk, or at least try to walk in such a way that Jesus would be proud. Like, do you treat others the way Jesus would want?

Then, we might actually have more in common than you think.

This is the part I want to focus on. . .when I write and in my walk on this side of life, the loving things we have in common.

The things we disagree on that present themselves as toxic or argumentative should be held for higher caliber form of loving that only certain people can handle.

I fall short here some times myself. I used to be way worse about it. But I can't let that keep me from the much needed progressive movements forward that I know I still need to make either, though.

We is it so hard for some people to accept that my truth works for me, the same way yours does for you?

There are issues that will have on us on opposite ends sometimes, but shouldn't the car we travel in be more important than who has more control of the steering wheel. I mean, at least we're riding together.

If I think you're trying to wreck us on purpose, I can just get in with some else, but I truly believe that almost all of us want good and have good hearts. Therefore riding with someone else that I don't see eye to eye with on several issues, can actually help educate me further.

Empathy is better served on the opposition than you think. Just sayin'.

~

My note-taking is a bargaining tool for my brain. It's the compromise I need, but at more current intervals and in moments of free time, which I sorely lack these days.

It is, still, how I stay healthy.

Sometimes I still wonder what life would look like if I could actually accept another's truth as a truth for me. Man, some of it would probably bring me so much peace. Lol But struggle, having and getting through struggle is where we find joy.

And although peace is important, I wish that I had even more of it, without joy sprinkled throughout, peace doesn't mean as much to me.

Grateful for everything, means grateful for everything. It's still a training exercise for me, for which I may never fully arrive, but I am trying, very much.

~

A couple pretty cool things happened to me today. It's Thursday by the way. Lol

May or may not be the last note I take, but. . .

First I got a phone call informing me that I was getting my deductible back. The one I paid on the renters insurance claim from the fire back in Sept. It didn't make us rich by any means, but still nice.

And 2nd, a call from the lawyer. As long as my oldest son continues to do good and stays in the program one of his charges will go bye bye at the end of the year. A completely unrelated issue.

Just goes to show ya, that if you do good, ya get good.

Both calls in the same hour. My smile never had a chance to leave my face. Lol

It was a good day.

~

I'll probably close with Happy birthday dad, R.I.P.

Tomorrow, I'll be reading a book on eagles for Pawpaw's story time in honor of the old man's birthday.

Remember to share your love and your laughter with the world, live your truth, and do human . . .better.

It's only slightly more abrasive than it's relative toxic opposites, and usually only in the beginning.

Until next week 2 quotes to end on;

"I did my homework, explored options and belief systems, and realized that there was no perspective I could consider it from where I actually could agree with it and honestly mean it. Honesty is important to me and it was important to me that I be honest with myself and those around me. Not saying there aren't nuggets of wisdom in many different religions. There are. But I can't get on board with any of them as a whole particularly when it comes to miracles and deities." - Melissa Myers (random Facebook commenter)

~

"Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities." - Mr Fred Rogers

[dragon-kazansky]

Til death do us part | Helmut Zemo

Bodyguard AU! 🕶

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Next chapter]

Part 1

You drive into the parking lot for Stark Industries. You had worked here for the last three years. Hiring out bodyguards was just a small service he provided among other things these says, but you guys had a whole floor to yourselves, so you weren't about to complain.

You parked, got out, and needed straight indoors. You greeted the receptionists at the front desk and made your way up to the elevator.

Over the past few years you had been working as a bodyguard. You had done many little jobs, providing security for celebrities at award shows, or being hired out to watch over parties and events here and there.

The pay was good and you loved your job. Granted, not every job is exciting and action filled, but you have met lots of wonderful, crazy, and questionable people over the years. You have kicked people out of parties, prevented crazy fans from getting too close, and one time had secure a lockdown for a client whose life was considered in danger one time.

You had plenty of stories to tell.

Today you were on your way in to receive your next assignment. Apparently this was a big job and Stark had put your name on the list. He needed the best he had, and you were one of them.

No doubt he had put Natasha down too.

You took the elevator up your floor and walked out. You headed into the changing rooms to put your suit on. It was important you looked smart for the job.

Once you were ready, you met up with the others in the meeting room at the time they asked you to be there.

Steve Rogers was the first one to greet you.

Steve was the head of the group. He, and his buddy James Barnes, were professionals at this job. They had been bodyguards much longer than you had and had secured the rest of the team over the years. It was Steve who trained you in the beginning.

"Glad you could make it," he says, smiling at you.

"I was told it was important."

"You're right about that. This is probably the biggest job yet, and could be quite time consuming too."

"Well, I'm ready to hear it out."

You take a seat. Bucky joins you. Steve slides a file across to you and you open it. You are presented with a photo and a document.

"This is Baron Helmut Zemo. Sokovian royalty. We've been requested to send bodyguards over while he travels through Europe to better his connections or something. We're not privy to all the details. Sam and Nat are already out there, flew put three days ago. You'll be flown over with Bucky and I'll join you in a couple of days. This is going to be a time consuming job, so keep your wits about you."

"Alright. I'm ready whenever," you say, looking at the photo.

He was handsome, that much you could tell. Brown hair, combed away from his face. Dark brown eyes and a confident aura surrounding him.

"A Baron, you said?"

"Yeah. You'll be situated as Castle Zemo. They'll provide rooms. You'll receive your schedule from Natasha when you arrive."

"Alright."

"You can keep hold of the file," he nods at it. You close it and pull it closer to you.

"When do we fly?"

"First thing in the morning," Bucky replies.

"See you tomorrow."

Steve dismisses you and Bucky. You both leave together. You tuck the file under your arm and walk in sync with your dear friend.

"Royalty. That's a new one."

Bucky chuckles.

"It's definitely going to be a job for the books."

"What's he like, this Baron?" You ask, glancing up at him.

"I don't know much. We're not suppose to."

"Yeah, I know. Aren't you a little curious though?"

"Yeah, I am," Bucky laughs, "but I'm a professional, and I'll keep it that way."

"You say that now."

You both knew you would both look him up because you always did. You both just liked to know a little about the person you were hired to protect. You never let anything you knew get out though. You were both professionals.

"I'll see you later, go eat and I'll be round in the morning."

"See you, Bucky."

You part ways and you go home, picking up some food on the way. When you get home you pull out your laptop and sit down in your living room. You lay out the file beside you and look him up.

Baron Helmut Zemo.

His picture popped up again. Yeah, he was definitely handsome. He lived in Castle Zemo in Novi Grad, Sokovia. That's where you would be stationed tomorrow before he flies out.

There wasn't a whole lot of information online. Just a little backstory on his family line and where Castle Zemo was located. Being a Baron, he was only a low form of royalty. Most of the news was about the decline of Sokovia. The country was struggling, hence why Baron Zemo was making a trip to strengthen connections here and there.

You felt like you understood him a little better, not that you were going to let this affect your job.

You close the laptop and finish your meal.

You wake up to constant buzzing on your phone. You reach out and grab it, answering the call and bringing it your ear.

"Hello?"

"Finally, I'll be there in ten," you hear Bucky say.

"Ten?"

"Ten minutes, get up!"

You sit up and check the time on your phone, its5later than you anticipated. You give a hurried 'see you later' down the phone and hang up, scrambling to get dressed and make some coffee to start your day.

By the time Bucky arrived at your door, you're ready and have a coffee in hand. Even have an extra for him.

Bucky actually looks impressed.

"Let's go."

You both hop into the car and he drives you to the airport, sipping your coffees as you went.

"We'll be spending the night in his home tonight, neither of us are on night duty, we'll be swapping out with Nat and Sam when we get there. We fly out for Paris tomorrow."

You listened to Bucky explain.

"What will happen in Paris?"

"The Baron will be escorted to the hotel, all guards will be present on that floor. Steve will meet us there with the last of the group and the Baron will be taken to his meeting spot."

"Just follow the routine, got it."

"You nervous? This is a big job after all," Bucky glances your way.

"A bit, but I'm going to prove to you all that I have what it takes. Nat trained me herself."

"Hey, we know you're capable. For what it's worth, none of us have ever done a job this big before. It's a first for us all," he smiles at you.

"Then we can do this together."

You both nod at each other.

You settle in for the rest of the ride. At the airport, you both quickly manoeuvre through the building. Bucky has the passports and boarding passes on him. You're both at the gate in time and board the plane with ease.

This was your first time to Sokovia. Your first time in the presence of royalty.

You were beyond nervous.

Bucky places a hand over yours and smiles at you. You smile back. It's all the reassurance you needed.

The plane takes off without delay.

This was going to be the biggest job of your life, and perhaps, just perhaps, your life would change too. You just didn't know what to expect when you got there.

@thesuitkovian @justfangirlthingies @belle82devart @zemosimp420 @anteroom-of-death @silverlambcaptain @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @lieutenantn @daniielbruhl @awesomesauce-abbie @latenightartist-author @lazygurl05 @rumblelibrary @nonamec0s @shura-gorl @ginger-abreu @caligrl1992 @livvyshmiv @luciadiosa @vverliebt @tatooineisdry @charistory @somethingthatsaysbubbles

[lukaa-aa]

mixed signals

pairing: peter parker x reader

summary: reader is an overthinker, and peter is sending some passive aggressive vibes

warnings: overthinking, crying, yk the drill by now

a/n: had a bad day at school today so we gonna write the feels out 😈💪🏻

It was the middle of the night, and you were unfortunately still awake. You had school tomorrow, much to your disliking, but you weren't able to fall asleep whatsoever. You presumed it was because your boyfriend, (who was staying the night at your place) had his back turned away from you and didn't bother saying goodnight. Your thoughts started to linger, wondering if he was mad at you or if you had done something wrong. You did your best to push the thoughts back, grounding yourself to what you knew.

He was probably just tired, there were a few essays that needed to be done by the end of the week, maybe he was just stressing himself out, you thought to yourself. You sighed and layed down, doing your best to ignore the nagging thoughts in the back of your mind. As long as he talks to you in the morning.

You woke up to the ringing of your phone alarm, reaching over to turn it off. You set your phone back down and looked over next to you. Peter had left already. You sat up and looked around the room, noticing his backpack and clothes gone. You placed a hand on your forehead, trying to relax the once again swirling ideas in your brain. You threw the blankets off of your body and stood up, throwing around your clothes and putting them on. You tamed your hair and made yourself look decent. You slipped your sneakers on and ran out of your apartment, locking the door behind you. You took the stairs down instead of the elevator, hoping that Peter hadn't gotten far after you woke up.

Once you left the complex, you did a quick scan of the area to see if you could spot your boyfriend. You didn't see him anywhere, you you checked his phone location while you were waiting for the crosswalk to turn green. Your jaw immediately dropped. How the hell is he at school already?!

It takes a whole train ride to get to the school, and the last one was at 5:30 this morning. You were hoping to catch the 7:30 ride.

"What a dick," You said to yourself. He never let you walk to school alone, saying it was 'too dangerous' to go by yourself. That was an excuse to walk with you, of course, but you didn't mind.

You took the train to school, getting there just before the first bell rang. You didn't see Peter in homeroom, but he was still in first period. You tried subtly getting his attention, but he paid no mind to you, like you were a ghost. He was definitely focused on something, but you doubted that it was actually the content you were supposed to be learning. He continued to ignore you all the way to lunch. You sat across from MJ, her (somewhat) listening to you rant about Peter's behavior.

"And then, he gets up at five in the morning just to get the five thirty bus," You stabbed the lettuce in the bowl in front of you.

"Sounds like he's avoiding you, what'd you do?" MJ said, not taking her eyes off the book in front of her.

"I don't know what I did, should I apologize? Do I need to send him flowers or something? Some sort of apology gift?" You panicked.

"Why don't you ask Ned? They seem to be having a pretty... private conversation. He probably knows what's up," MJ put a sticky note in her book and stood up. "I'll be in the senior lounge if you need me."

You nodded as she walked off, your eyes drifting to Ned and Peter's conversation that they were having at the next table over. They looked diabolical, looking like Peter was writing something down and Ned nodded along. You sighed and finished your lunch, making a small plan for next period.

Your next period class was a study hall, one that you shared with Peter and Ned. They had left the study hall very briefly, not giving the teacher any notice (not like she really cared.) After a few minutes, you walked up to the teacher to ask to go to the bathroom. She nodded, not paying you any attention. You walked out of the room, now roaming the halls, trying to find where either of them had went. The next hallway you walked down, you stopped at the corner, noticing Ned standing outside of the computer lab. The lights were on, signaling someone was in there. Ned was guarding the door, so it wasn't exactly a guessing game of who was actually in the lab. You stayed around the corner, hoping to only catch Ned's attention.

"Ned," you whisper-shouted from the end of the hall. "Come here," you waved him over.

He looked at you, then looked back at the room a couple times. He gave you an apologetic look, so you gave him a glare. He caved and ran over to you, trying to keep quiet.

"What's going on with Peter?" You asked him quickly.

"W-what do you mean? Nothings wrong with Peter," he laughed nervously.

You gave him an eyebrow. "He left my house at five in the morning, nothings wrong my ass."

Ned sighed nervously. "Okay fine, it's just Peter's... man things," Ned totally came up with that on the spot.

"Man... things," You questioned. "In the computer lab...?"

"...yep." He rocked back snd forth on his feet.

You sighed frustratingly at the thought of your boyfriend getting off to porn in the middle of the computer lab. "Y'know, whatever. But if he's mad at me and there's something you're not telling me, i'm gonna be so pissed at you like you wouldn't believe."

"Nope, not lying," he smiled.

You rubbed your forehead and walked away. You had to make up a plan to apologize to him somehow.

The rest of the day went by horribly slow, you just wanting to go home. The final bell finally rang, you immediately standing up and walking out. You went straight home and started on your homework. If anything, your homework felt shorter than the acutal class worksheets, not that you were complaining. It was around 5 and staring to get dark outside when you finished, so you slipped your shoes on and grabbed your phone,keys and wallet before leaving your apartment once again. You started your decent to Peter's apartment building, it taking about 15 minutes to get there by walking (if the roads weren't busy).

On your way, you stopped at a cafe that you and Peter frequent and picked up some donuts, as well as getting your favorite teas. You continued onto Peter's building, confused when you noticed that May's car wasn't in her usual spot. It was thursday, she was probably volunteering tonight. You tool the elevator up to Peter's floor, and hesitated when you got to his door. You sighed and knocked on the door with your free hand.

"Coming!" You heard the familiar voice of your boyfriend. When he opened the door, a look of shock overtook his face. "Oh... Y/N... I didn't know you were coming over."

"Yeah, uh, sorry. Can i come in?" You asked. He stepped back and opened the door wider, letting you in.

You felt invited by the familiar scent, but also uncomfortable with the tension in the air. You set the donuts and tea on the counter. "I got this for us.. if you wanted it," You looked down.

"Oh, uh, thanks," He smiled as he shut as locked the dooor, walking over to stand a few feet from you.

"I wanted to apologize," You looked up at him. "For whatever I did to make you mad. 'Cause youve been ignoring me all day and you left really early this morning and you didn't say goodnight last night, and you seem really mad, and I don't know what I did which sounds like a really bad excuse because I'm supposed to know what I did wrong and-" Peter cut you off with a kiss.

You kissed him back after a moment, and you two pulled away after a minute. "You don't have to apologize for anything," peter said, his hands on your shoulders. "If anything, I should be apologizing. I haven't been honest with you."

Those words made your heart drop. You gulped, it felt like swallowing a rock.

"I have something to show you, just promise to not freak out," You nodded as he pulled you into his bedroom.

He picked up a red suit and mask off the floor, ones that you immediately recognized.

"You're..." Realization hit you like a truck. The constantly being in the computer lab, the not answering texts, the bumps and bruises, it all made sense, you felt like MatPat solving the Five Nights at Freddys lore.

"Yeah... that's what's been going on," he looked down. "And the reason I was so busy was because there's this really bad guy in town and I've been trying to take him down without getting caught, you get the idea."

"Yeah, yeah, um," you paused. "Y'know, just pretend like I said something reacting to this, because I have no words."

"Uh, okay? So, we're good then?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're good," You pulled him into a hug, sinking into his warmth.

You two spent the rest of the night eating donuts and drinking tea, as well as maybe a tiny movie marathon. You two were tired as all hell the next day.

-----

a/n: lol i slipped some matpat in there hehe

the reason i havent posted some of my drafts is bc i literally hate putting tags omg theyre so tedious

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 03 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.9K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (02)

Next part (04) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Like a Damn Train

You're walking back to where the guys are with your milkshake in hand, side by side with Monica. The day was calm, and this is a good way to end it. You're at this cute snack bar, all painted in pastel blue and pink colors, and some lights to match. It has two different spaces, but the inside is almost empty since it's a bit hot today, so people rather sit on the outside. But despite having enough empty tables for everyone, you're all leaning against the cars, chatting and laughing. You're a party of ten people, double the number of those who came with you, the others just stopped by.

You do feel a little cast aside since you don't really know the people or situations they're talking about. But Monica is kind enough to stand by your side, being sure to explain what's needed for you to engage in the conversation. Her cousin Jason is here too, as is her boyfriend, Christopher, who has always an arm around her shoulder.

“I'm telling you. That girl is trouble. She's a compulsive lier. I can't believe I dated her for almost a year.” Clark complains about his ex, who decided to use her spare time this summer to try and get back with him. “She called me once, in the middle of the night, crying, saying she crashed her car and was bleeding to death. I almost crashed mine trying to get to her as fast as possible and when I did, guess what? She was completely fine.”

“I always warned you about her,” Monica says, and the others nod.

“I should've listened.” Clark nods to himself. “From now on, I will listen to Monica.”

“Always listen to Monica.” She repeats in a meaningful tone, looking at you and raising an eyebrow.

“What?” You shrug your shoulders, sucking on your milkshake.

“Nothing." She dissimulates.

“It's about that Billy guy, isn't it?” Jason asks, gesturing his soda can at you.

“Yeah, you've been talking to him a lot lately.” David, one of those who stopped by and decided to join the party says. He's been giving you glances since he got here, but you're pretending not to notice. He'll get the hint soon enough and let it go.

“We're friends.” You simply say, leaning against Monica's car. David was at the pool today, you remember because you had to tell him not to dunk his friend. And that means he probably saw when you stopped by Billy's chair to ask him if he saw your whistle, which he had found on the floor near the girl's locker.

“Friends? With Hargrove?” David laughs. “Not possible. The guy only thinks about one thing. I doubt he even has a brain.”

“Well, he gave me a ride home when my car wouldn't start, so... He's not that much of a jerk if he bothered to help.” It's not your intention to defend Billy, but it feels wrong to let David say these things when Billy has been so nice to you. You know you have to keep an eye open just in case, but so far, it's being as he said it would be. Just two people who work together trying to get along.

“And why do you think he did that? I assure you it wasn't out of kindness.”

“She's the new girl in town. Maybe he thought she lived too far and offered help.” Christopher says, shrugging his shoulders. “You can't read minds, David, you don't know what inside people's heads.”

It's clear David isn't very welcome here. People don't seem very comfortable around him, and all his comments get some kind of snap. “Are you kidding me? It's Hargrove we're talking about here. He never talks to a girl unless he wants something. And we all know exactly what that is.”

“Since when you're the expert?”

“Since I know how guys think, Monica. Don't act like you got everyone figured out just because you're coursing Physiology.” He says, and his tone makes Christopher shoot him an angry stare.

“Mind your tone when you speak to my girlfriend, David.” He mutters, and David rolls his eyes. It's cute to see how he defends Monica, and it makes you smile. They're a freaking power couple, looking so good together.

“I'm just saying–”

“I know this sound.” Jason cuts him off, making everyone shut up to listen to... God knows what. “The car. There's only one car in Hawkins that makes this sound.”

“Billy's car.” Mon states and everyone looks at the street at the same time, and seconds after his Camaro speeds through, like a lightning bolt. “There he goes.”

“Was he looking over here?” Candace asks.

“At that speed, everything he sees is a blur.” Her sister Alice mutters.

You're not really paying attention, eyes glued to the now empty road, not sure why.

“I can't stand him. His presence alone makes me sick, the bastard.” David continues, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can do better, (Y/N), trust me.”

“You're envious of him.” Candace states and her sister follows with a laugh.

“Why in the hell would I be envious?”

“Because he's way hotter than you are.” The words come out of your mouth before you can think. “Basic psychology, isn't that right, Mon?” You elbow her, who giggles and nods.

“Couldn't agree more.” As she speaks, you hear the car again, as if it's coming back. The same noise they said belongs to Billy's car. But since you're not the expert here, it could belong to any other car, so you don't give much thought about it.

“No shit.” Jason mumbles.

“What a way to ruin the night,” David complains, rolling his eyes. His dirty, greasy hair sticks to his forehead, and he pushes it back.

“Unbelievable,” Monica says, looking at something behind you.

No, no. It can't be him... Right? You don't move, looking at your milkshake, completely ignoring how everyone seems to be staring at you.

“Hargrove.” David hisses, in a low voice.

You turn your head to see if this is really happening, and the moment you spot him, you look away. He was in a hurry to be somewhere, what is he doing here?

“Go talk to him,” Monica tells you.

“What makes you think he came here to talk to me?” You're quick to snap back, sucking what's left of your milkshake and putting the empty plastic cup on the hood of her car.

“Because he's coming this way and you're the only one here who speaks to him.” She speaks fast, wide eyes.

“Fine.” You raise your hands in surrender when she starts pushing you away from her car. “I'll go and say hi.” You give two steps backwards, shrugging your shoulders, and making sure everyone notices how casual it is. Then you turn on your heels, walking towards him, but slower, just in case he'll walk right past you. But he doesn't, he stops when you do, not quite keeping the distance he should. “Hi,” you mumble, suddenly very much aware of the eyes on your back.

“Hi.” Billy flashes his bright smile, the one that makes you think he's happy to see you. As if he hasn't seen you in a very long time. “Hanging out with your party, huh?”

“Yeah.” You gesture at where they're standing, trying to get a grip of yourself. C'mon, to hell with what they say. Or think. “I needed a night out. What about you?” You take a look at him, trying to be quick about it. He's wearing a black jacket and a dark red shirt underneath, which is unbuttoned. “Judging by the clothes and how fast you were going, you must be heading to a date. Or a party.”

“Second one.” He looks at something behind you. “Decided to stop and get some fries. Join me inside?”

“Mmm...” You're not sure if you should leave Mon and the others, so you take a look at them. And you see David's face, shamelessly staring as if it was his business. “Oh, we were just talking about you.” You raise your voice a little, and you both make the way to the small group of people. Monica has a funny look on her face. “Right, David?”

“Only bad things, I hope,” Billy says, eyes quickly scanning through the party. He knows he's not welcome, but he doesn't seem to care. Why would he? He just walked in like he owned the place. “I have a reputation I'd like to keep.”

The expression on David's face is priceless, and some people cover their mouths, hiding a laugh.

“Let's get those fries,” you say, pulling Billy by his jacket. “But only if you're paying.”

“Obviously.” He gives one last look, straight at David, before following you inside. Only half the tables are occupied, so you pick one on the back, next to the window. “I'll make the order.” He says as you take a sit. Through the corner of your eye, you see the crew moving more to their left, just where they can have a better view of your table. Looking at them, you wave, smiling. Monica won't stop talking about it tomorrow.

“So. What kind of wild party are you going to?” You ask when he comes back, seating across from you.

“Tommy's. Wanna come?”

“No. It's not my kind of party.” Monica told you about Tommy, that in some ways he's far worse than Billy. Guess you shouldn't judge this Tommy only by what you hear, but since you have nothing else to compare it too, you'll stick with what you've heard.

“It figured.” He shrugs his shoulders, penetrating eyes burning thought your skin.

“Let's eat quickly then. So you can go to your party.” You don't understand why he came all the way back here. Just to eat fries? He was going to a party and stopped for some fries? You'll have to ask Monica about it. Maybe there's a psychological explanation.

“I'm not going anymore.”

Okay. That's even weirder. “Why?”

Billy only smiles, and you're starting to notice it makes you feel funny. You don't like staring for too long, so you have to find something else to focus your attention on... But there's nothing so you just look down at your hands. “You know that David guy is into you, right?”

“What? Of course not.” You take a look through the window, catching some of them staring. Monica is one of them, obviously. “I mean, he was staring, but... I don't know. I'm the new girl after all, and in a small town like Hawkins I get that people are a little curious about the outsider.”

“That wasn't a curious look, believe me.”

“You can't really talk about it, right? You're the heartbreaker of Hawkins.”

Billy leans forward, and when the waitress comes with your fries, he doesn't even seem to notice. You don't get why he's staring for so long, like memorizing a map. “I will be straight forward with you, (Y/N).” He starts, his voice suddenly darker, as if the game was over and whatever he's about to say is a matter of life and death. “I like you.”

That makes you giggle, completely ruining the atmosphere. “Okay. You like a lot of girls, Billy. I thought you said just friends.” You're a little disappointed. Guess you were just a little bit excited about maybe, just maybe, befriending Billy, not sure why though.

“No. I don't have to like them to–”

“Let me stop you right there.” You burst out. “I don't need the details.”

“I never liked any of them. Why do you think I never met any girl more than twice?” What can you say to that? Shrugging your shoulders, you keep your eyes on the fries as you eat. You have no idea where this is going. “But you, you hit me like... bang.”

“Like bang?” Raising an eyebrow, you repeat and giggle again.

“Like a damn train.” He's not joking, he's dead serious. “Since the day you walked into the pool, I couldn't help but stare.”

“Billy, I–”

“I always hated when girls started talking about their lives, their friends, their families, but you... I want to know you. Your favorite color, your favorite hairstyle, your favorite ice cream flavor.” Drumming your fingers on the table, you give a quick glance at your friends, looking for Monica as if you could send her a message through your mind, asking for help. “And it's so freaking bizarre because I never thought it could happen to me. I thought about approaching you as I usually do, try to seduce you. It would be so much easier if that was everything I wanted, but it isn't.”

“Uhm...” Okay, you're completely lost here. More than you were on the first day at the pool. “Pink. I like to let my hair down. And chocolate.” You try to remember the order he spoke, despite feeling like this is the stupidest thing to say right now. But you don't know how to react. Nobody was straight to the point like this, all of them always had some kind of game. Pretending they don't care, acting like they're superior, acting like they're stupid... Everyone who ever tried something with you had a strategy. But this guy, town's bad boy, who leaves a long trail of broken hearts wherever he goes, he's just putting all the cards on the table. And you were caught off guard.

“I noticed the first two.” He gestures at you. You're wearing a pink shirt and your hair is down, flowing down your shoulders.

“You don't know me enough to like me, Billy.” You sigh, not sure what do say next.

“Only time will tell.” Billy smiles again, biting on a frie. “Just give me a chance.”

“What about the 'just friends' agreement? I was totally down for that.” Friendship is easier. So much less complicated... And it would give you a one hundred percent security that Billy wouldn't hurt you. Not that you'd ever allowed him to get close enough to do that... Right? Right. “Friendship always comes before any... Romantic relationship. It's just the natural flow of things.”

“If that's what you think, we'll start off as friends then.”

Damn it. The smile again. What the hell is wrong with you today? Monica is getting to your head with all her 'mission' thing. “Friends,” you repeat because it would be so mean if you just backed off now. He did help you when your car wouldn't start. And he's paying for the fries.

“(Y/N)!” Someone yells and you immediately look through the window. It's Jason. “Let's go, we're leaving!”

Already?

You mean... Great. You need to get home to think. “I have to go,” you say, standing up after grabbing a few more fries.

“I can take you home.” He offers.

“I'm not sure. Wouldn't it be a little mean to them?” Part of you wants to go home, leave Billy and this whole talking behind, get back into reality. Get a grip on yourself and think this through. But there's something else, a tiny piece that lit up when he offered you a ride.

“You already came with them. I don't see why you can't leave with someone else. I will let you ride shotgun.”

“You really think I'll go with you just because I'll ride shotgun? I can call shotgun with them, you know?” You giggle, eyes suddenly locked on his.

“With them, it's just a possibility. With me, it's a fact.” The guy is cocky, no doubt about that. “Would it change your mind if I say please?”

“Begging doesn't suit you, Hargrove.” You snap, smiling. “I'll let them know.”

He winks at you before you turn to leave. You change your mind a couple of times before you reach Monica and the others. But now you're sure. You want to go with Billy. You haven't finished the fries yet, anyway.

“Guys, you can go. Billy will give me a ride home.” You say as some of them get into Candace's car.

“Ok,” Mon smirks, giving you a look that means she'll want all the details later.

“What?” David speaks up, a humorless laugh leaving his lips. “Monica, I thought you said your friend was smart.”

“Are you calling me dumb?” You gasp, unable to believe your ears. Who the hell does he think he is? The guy doesn't even know you.

“If you're really considering letting him–” He gestures at the snack bar, straight at your table. “–take you home, yes, sweety, you're pretty dumb.”

“David shut the hell up.” Monica has a finger on his face.

“Who do you think you are to put of your nose in my business?” You raise your voice, stepping forward. You're not the one to be insulted and keep quiet. “This is my damn life and I do whatever I want. You're not even a friend of mine so back the hell off.”

“I'm trying to put some sense into your empty brain and you're turning it on me?” He looks around as if searching for support. But half the group is by Candace's car, and those who are closer don't seem to back him up.

“The hell is going on?” Billy yells startle you a little and you turn your head to see him coming from the snack bar.

“Isn't it obvious that nobody here wants you around?” David barks at him, making an abrupt gesture towards Billy.

He stops by your side, towering over you.

“David here just called (Y/N) dumb,” Christopher says in a provoking tone. “Right, David? Do you have anything else to say or did the last sentences drained out your intelligence? The tiny little bit you have of it.”

“You called her what?” Billy steps forward, slightly hiding you with his shoulder. He's angry suddenly, raising his voice.

“Drop the gentleman act, Billy. Everyone knows what you want.” David comes forward too, throwing his empty can on the floor. “But if she wants to go from the new girl in town to another of Hargrove's sluts, that's all her choice.”

You're about to speak up when Billy moves, closing the distance between him and David, pulling him by the collar of his shirt and punching his jaw hard. You heart skips a beat and your stomach burns. David falls to the ground, a hand coming to his chin. Everyone gasps, hands covering their mouths. You see when Billy is about to move again, so you grab his arm.

“I told you. If you didn't quit being an asshole someone would put you in your place.” Jason says as he speeds away in his car, giving Billy a thumbs up.

But you barely notice the commotion, trying to understand what just happened.

“Call her that again and I'll make sure to break your nose the next time.” Billy barks, looking down at David, who awkwardly crawls backwards before standing up and walking away.

“C'mon.” You start pulling Billy, noticing how the muscles on his arm are tense, even through the jacket. “Let's go.” You move to stand before him, seeing the anger in his eyes as he watches David stumble to his car. Why is he so pissed? “Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.” You say, pushing Billy's chest, sighing in relief when he finally gives up and starts walking back into the snack bar.

Your heart is beating so fast you can feel it pounding against your chest. Billy gestures for you to walk in front of him as he gives one last glance at David's car as he speeds away. Running a hand through your hair, you notice how people are staring as you sit back on the table.

“That was unnecessary.” You burst out, still feeling hot from all the sudden commotion. You have your eyes set on Billy as he sits across from you, anger still clear on his expression.

Nobody ever did that for you. And you have dated before. Only two guys and for a short period of time, but still... You're surprised he'd go through all that trouble because of you, a girl he barely knows. “But thank you.” He's still so mad, like he's caged inside his rage. He keeps staring through the window as if waiting for David to return. “Billy?” You call him, standing up and moving to seat beside him, touching his shoulder. It seems to drag him out of his thoughts, and he looks at you, the anger vanishing, turning into something else. Something you can't name. “Thank you.”

“David is an asshole.” He simply says.

“He is.” Your eyes fall on your arm, still on his shoulder, so you move it away. “Nobody ever stood up for me like that. It's not that I can't deal with an idiot like him, but... It was nice.”

“Whenever you need, princess.”

The name and the smile make your stomach burn again, and you look down just in case you're blushing. As much you appreciate what he just did, you can't let any kind of feelings build up. “So...” You pull the plate with the fries closer, taking one and biting it. “You gonna be my bodyguard now? Beating up whoever calls me bad names?”

“I will if you want me to.”

You know he's smiling even though you're not looking. Biting your lip, you clear your throat. “I think that's ok. But I doubt David will cross my way again.”

“He better not.”

The rest of the night goes by calmy. When you're done with the fries, he gets you another milkshake even though you tell him you already had one. You stand by his car until the milkshake is over, and that's when you finally head home.

His car is do damn fast. Way too fast. You're looking at the road ahead, wondering how the hell he can drive at such a speed. “Billy, would you slow down a bit?” You ask, happy when he complies.

It's a little past eleven when he stops by your place, and you take a deep breath before opening the door. “Bye. See you tomorrow.” Smiling you step out of the car, walking around it. But you stop when you see he's getting out too.

“What? I'm gonna walk you to the door.” He shrugs his shoulders, and you look down as you both slowly walk to the front door. Once you get there, you awkwardly turn around, looking at him, noticing how the dim light from the porch lights up his face... He's cute. More than cute. He's... Very handsome.

Alright, stop staring now.

“Thanks again for the ride home... And for defending my honor, Billy Hargrove.” You mutter, your voice is strangely low.

“Anytime you need.”

“Yeah...” Clearing your throat, you gesture at the door behind you. “Gotta go.”

“Sure.” Billy looks down at you, and he suddenly moves closer. But before you can push him away, or even process what he's doing, you feel his lips on the apple of your cheek. It's almost unreal how his lips are soft. Billy doesn't come out as soft... He's rough, the bad guy. But this... This is confusing. You're sure you're blushing this time, frozen, as he pulls away. “Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night,” you mumble, turning the door handle. But it doesn't open, so you try again. “Shit... Oh, it's locked.” You search on your pockets for the key, excited to get in and get the hell away from Billy. This is unfair. He knows the effect he has on girls. You struggle with the key, sighing in relief when the door finally opens.

“Did I just make you nervous?” He asks as you step inside.

“Good night, Billy,” you repeat, giving him a half-smile before closing the door.

Today's events are getting to your head. What Billy did was... Badass. Hot even. You're a girl, how are you supposed to feel after a guy punches someone to defend you? It's only natural, right? Right. Shit, you really need to talk to Monica.

Running a hand through your hair, you turn around, ready to take a shower and get some sleep. But your aunt's image by the stairs scare you, and you hit the door with your back.

She has a smile on her face, bright and wide. “Hello, honey. Who was that guy?”

[pbandjesse]

My skin is very itchy and dry today. I am probably going to go relotion after I finish writing this because I don't want to wake up all bloody from scratching in my sleep. That is never fun for me.

Today was a good day. I wish I accomplished more after work but it's okay. I am not going to be to up set with myself. I slept pretty good. Using my squishmallow for a pillow was actually really nice. I woke up in a good mood but cold. I didn't really want to get out of bed yet. So I got up to grab my phone to snooze it.

And when I got back in bed I stabbed my fingernail into my chin and cut myself!! What the heck!!

So then I felt weird. Cause I was frustrated. But it was fine. I got up. I got dressed. It was very cold out so I was worried about being uncomfortable. But for the most part I was cozy and that was good enough.

Me and James drove together and for the most part it was just a quiet ride to work. We grabbed breakfast. I have decided twice a week fast food breakfast is the limit. So I will be bringing breakfast the next few days.

But it was rainy and we got to work and went to our separate jobs.

And it was an excellent day. I was slightly worried because I was training both sessions. But it was all good. Kristin is easy to train, and Becca picked up quickly so I did not have any trouble.

The group came early so we had then do the scavenger hunt. It was an all boys school and 5th graders and they were so excited and lovely. Yes they got over excited at times, but for the most part they listened and were really sweet.

The cannery went well overall. There were funny moments. Like when the boys started trying to operate the dumbwaiter because they were just excited to get more labels. And then a boy who was my steamer put the cans directly inside of the machine and I had to climb inside of it to get them out. Ah well. It was silly.

It was a chill morning though. D is easy. Teaching Kristin was easy. No big deal.

We had lots of supplies to do though. Enough that Jessica had me and Becca spend an hour in the middle of the shift doing supply stuff.

But that ended up being fun. Becca is very into genealogy and I shared some stories about my grandparents and we shared pictures of family and the stuff she's researching. So it was a pretty fun hour.

I also taught James to make the assembly line bags of car parts. So they got to be very helpful too. Because we had so many car parts to make. And they take a while honestly, compared to other supplies we make.

After that hour though me and Becca joined the group again. We helped run the assembly line. And it went just fine. They did a lot better weaving then I expected. The one boy was like an expert at it and taught his friends and that was neat. I barely had to help. We did have a miscount on the supplies at that table but I sorted it out. And then during the video I did a slight organizing of the supply closet. It's not perfect but it's not as much of a nightmare anymore.

We said goodbye to the group. And went to do more supplies. Me and Becca went to finish the outreach boxes and then I did carports for the rest of the hour. Got all the bags done I needed to make up for the last two days. Tomorrow we will get more done I'm sure.

It was rainy out. And gross and cold. But it would get nicer after I was home.

James would join me later.

In the mean time I had emails from work about events and things. Including my workshops! I have 3 scheduled. And I am getting the rate I requested. So I am really pleased. Feels good. And I have agreed to 3 more spots in the class so now the museum will actually make some money and that is also good!! Something I wanted.

I would spend time cleaning. The apartment was kind of gross. It's still not perfect but I got a lot done. I asked James to clean the kitchen. And I'll probably Swiffer tomorrow. But at least some progress was made.

I did not do my knitting. Instead I had a snack and watched some videos. And then played Pokemon until James got home.

James worked on cleaning the kitchen. I poked around the apartment. Laid in bed for a bit. I had changed into comfy clothes and I felt very cute which was nice. Because my skin has been so bad it's making me feel bad about myself. Trying my best.

James brought me the tiniest ice cream cone. And I couldn't stop laughing. It was basically two bites. And soon after the sun went down we had dinner. Which felt like it took forever but I was just being a baby about it.

I got to a bunch of new things in my video game while I waited. And that was exciting. But I had planned to get off the game and go do some art shit but then got excited about my game and played another hour. Oops. There will always be tomorrow I guess.

We got showers and we have been chilling in bed since. James heard back from the jeweler we are talking to about making a different wedding band. Because I really love the twisted ring but I'm also like. Really sad that it hurts my skin to wear. So we are looking at the ones I liked originally. Which are more money but also we are trying to be as thrifty as possible with everything with the wedding so I'm letting us have this.

Now I am ready to sleep. Tomorrow is another museum day. I am done pretty early though so I hope to spend the afternoon resting and making stuff.

I hope you all have a great day tomorrow. Keep washing your hands!!

[rampagingsuga]

[ you're lucky i'm nice ]

pairing :

classmate!kageyama x reader

warnings : none

genre : fluff , friends to lovers

synopsis : school holidays meant that you were always up late on your phone watching anime & switching between your various social media apps. but when a certain classmate of yours decided to text you, you experienced something you never knew you longed for.

a/n : helloo!! i thought of this at an ungodly hour and just couldn't get it off my mind so here it is :> i know not all schools are on break at this time but for plot convenience this is what i'm using !

time - 1.10am

your eyelids fluttered shut as the ending song of the anime episode you were watching began to play. normally, you would be fast asleep at this hour but you allowed yourself to stay up more now that you were on school break. you checked your messages one last time before setting an alarm for 8am. you wished you could sleep in but there just had to be holiday club activities that day.

after plugging your phone into the charger, you curled up in bed. just as you were about to drift off to sleep, your phone began buzzing non-stop. slightly annoyed by the buzzing, you picked up your phone and let the bright light blind you.

"who in the right mind spams at 1 in the morning?" you thought.

26 new messages from [ kageyama-kun 👊]

[ texting ]

y/n : kageyama?? do you realise what time it is??

k : yeah

k : i need your help with math

y/n : at one in the morning?? i'll help you tomorrow

k : but it's urgent!!

y/n : i know for a fact that it's not because we don't even have extra lessons during the holidays 🙄

y/n : and even if we did, you wouldn't bother going, mr i-need-urgent-help-with-math

k : ouch okay fine.. but can i call you?

y/n : no ❤️ i want to ✨s l e e p ✨

k : woi y/n boke let me call you

y/n : wow way to show respect kags. fine, but if i see a math worksheet i'm hanging up on you

k : fair enough

y/n : you're lucky i'm nice 😒

k : you can call me tobio btw

-------------------------------------------------

that last text struck you.

somehow, these few text messages with kageyama led to you gaining so much more energy than sleep would ever let you. maybe because he always came to you for help when he had friends that he was probably more comfortable talking to. or when he managed to help you accept your bad results in that one test by bluntly spitting common sense into your head.

you sensed a growing fondness for him. it was when he texted you that you felt needed. it made you feel like someone depended on you. you felt important with him around, though many saw him as bothersome and rude. you liked it.

"hi," kageyama's raspy voice greeted you from the other end of the phone.

"hi kag- tobio," you replied, stuttering at the use of his first name.

"ne y/n, what are you doing up?"

"i could ask you the same question. but i was watching anime,"

"i was.. mustering up the courage to talk to you"

you froze. mustering up courage?? to talk to you?? but he always texted you for the most random things. usually related to school, nonetheless, what could he want to say that took so much courage?

"oh" was all you managed to say.

"d'you know about the rumours that have been circulating about us?" kags asked.

"oh? rumours?"

"yeah, people keep saying you treat me like your child with how you always look out for me. and how i always ask you for help, like a needy child," he paused, expecting a reply.

"they think we look good together, y/n,"

this caught you completely off guard. you were speechless. you had heard of such rumours but had simply brushed them off as irrelevant remarks. partly out of fear that they would ruin your friendship with kageyama. and partly because you didn't want to accept the fact that you believed they were true. you wouldn't mind being in a relationship with him.

but there was also another rumour that kageyama had been crushing on another girl. it wasn't specified but she seemed so much better than you when you heard the descriptions people gave of her. surely you had no chance with him compared to her.

"so, what do you think of it?" his calm voice breaking your train of thought.

"uhm, i don't want to believe it," you lied.

"besides, tobio-kun, you like someone else already right? why don't you talk them?" you continued, hurting your own heart in the process.

you had to let him go.

"oh.. oh wait you know about that?"

"mhm"

"well that girl is actually you, y/n," he spat out.

*click*

so that's why he needed so much courage to call you this one time. you contemplated confessing your own feelings at that moment as well. but you felt like you wanted to toy with him a little. without saying another word, you hung up and set your phone down.

--------------------------------------------------

[ the next day ]

[ texting ]

y/n : tobio-kunn can you meet me at school today? at 2pm after i finish club activities for the day

k : sure

--------------------------------------------------

after club, you strolled to karasuno's main gate where a certain kageyama tobio was waiting for you.

"hi, wanna go to coach ukai's store? i'm hungry," you asked.

"yea..," he replied, still confused as to why you suddenly told him to come to school.

on the walk back there, you were telling him about the things you did in club. surprisingly enough, he listened attentively as you rambled on.

this lasted all the way until you were about to leave the store.

"tobio-kun, i actually want to tell you something,"

"hm?"

"i like you too," you continued with full composure.

he stared back at you for a few seconds before realising where you were coming from. the previous night's, or rather morning's, call. his shoulders immediately relaxed as he took your hand to pull you out of the store, away from ukai's burning glare.

"walk," he said.

so you did, walking side by side. your heart skipping a beat whenever your hands brushed against each other. somehow halfway through your journey home, kageyama felt a sudden burst of confidence.

he stopped in his tracks. leaving you to turn around confused. he signalled for you to come to him (a/n : yk like how kenma did it to lev JSJSJ). when you got close enough, he quickly pulled you into a hug. relaxing himself into your small figure. and you did the same. you leaned in and embraced his warmth.

"thank you for letting me love you," he said sheepishly.

"any day weirdo," you replied, you head still on his chest.

when you pulled away, you motioned to continue the journey home. the both of you walked in a comfortable silence. with you feeling grateful that you had waited to confess.

when he laced his fingers with yours, you knew you were in for a ride.

a/n : AKDJSKJD the ending is kinda sloppy but this was super fun to write!

[the-entity-with-determination]

2. Entry (30.10.2018, 2:30)

Dear Reader,

Today was a simple yet nice day.

School

Chris has finally returned to school today and made everyone's day a bit brighter. (he had some sort of a throat infection)

In the first period I had German. I gave the teacher my homework which I partly have worked on with Naomi (God bless u for helping me bro) and the rest of the lesson just consisted of analyzing a Text.

Second period was English. I normally sit in the first row with one dude from the friend group, but I was too slow and my place got claimed. So I sat down next to the quiet girl from my class. Honestly I want to find out more about her. And maybe even befriend myself with her. I've always noticed that she's sitting alone in the class and never really speaks to anyone. And when some of the teachers tell her to read something, she speaks in a really quiet yet clear voice. And she also never really smiles. I feel like I just should start talking to her. Because it's also very important to have some kind of social life in school. Isn't it boring to just. Not talk to anyone? I think I'll try to interact with her tomorrow. Anyways, back to the period. We were doing some "used to and would" grammatical exercises and as always, it was kinda boring cuz I'm literally doing this thing the third time. My notebook didn't work so I looked at the text with the quiet girl's (let's call her Amanda) computer.

In third period I had IT. And in IT I'm in the first group, which means I always get to interact with Chris and Roxy. It's always very fun to talk with them. But today was even more fun cuz the teacher didn't upload any new exercises to moodle (a school plattform) and I've done all the exercises the night before lmao. Also, I've said before that my notebook doesn't work, and I've asked Chris if he could just delete everything on my computer and put it back to factory setting. (I hope that's what it's called) and he said he wouldn't mind. I just gotta go and search for the external dvd player after I finish writing this entry. Since it was basically a free period, all of us just fooled around and made meme references. I think that some meme was born out of it too lololol.

Then the big break started (which is 15 minutes long). I honestly didn't want to leave Roxy alone in class (Chris and all the other dudes normally go outside to smoke) so I decided to stay with her. We were mainly talking about music. I showed her a nice song, she showed me a nice song. Nice.

Then we had IT again. We've basically done the same thing as in the last period.

In the last two periods which were Biology and French nothing much happened.

After school

After school I tagged along with Roxy. Last time when I did we went to a nearby second hand shop and she found a framed Van Gogh picture (she's a huge Van Gogh fan) and she really wanted to buy it but didn't have enough money (cuz she bought a "rocky horror show" vinyl in the book store we also went to last time.) The bookstore was the weirdest yet coolest one I've ever seen. Like. There were books EVERYWHERE.

And today she finally got to buy the Van Gogh pic and was very satisfied. We also went to "Buttlers" (some sort of home decor store) and she bought some fairy lights that glow in a warm way.

After that we went to McDonald's to chat since she still had some spare time (her train would leave in an hour). We talked about school, friends, and also her smol crush on a dude from my class (he's a chill dude). I've found out recently that he's in a metal band. And she also seemed to know. Buttttt she didn't know that he's the Vocalist of the group. And when she listened to one of their songs she literally fangirled so much it was adorable.

Then we parted ways and I went home. Riding with the tram was rly uncomfortable since many people were inside. Sitting in the bus was less stressful und I also almost fell alseep (I didn't sleep on Sunday night). But once I got out of the bus it was very peaceful. The weather was slightly foggy, the yellow leaves were slowly falling down on the ground, and you could hear children laugh in the distance. I always feel very at peace when I walk in my small village I love it. I also took a lot of pretty pictures of trees, flowers and etc.

Home

I came home and was greeted by my parents and the amazing smell which I've known ever since I was a kid. The good ol' Russian beet soup called "Borscht". Man if only locals knew what they're missing. After I ate I went to my slightly messy room. I'll probably clean it after I come back from Roxy's sleepover. I watched some videos. Had some deep thoughts and fell asleep at 16 something. And then I woke up at 00:36. And watched some videos again. I didn't do any school stuff since I don't have to do any homework til tomorrow. So it's chill.

Now

Rn I'm laying in my bed, listen to a nice Lo-Fi mix called "everytime I see you, I fall in love all over again" and write this entry uwu.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with Naomi in her dorm. We'll study some stuff, talk about some fun stuff, have band practice and will return home a little late. But it's nice. Oh and my mother gave me a really nice jacket which also looks vintage-y. I luvvvv. So I'll also look like a snack tomorrow too yaaaas.

That's pretty much it. I hope you had a nice day too, reader! 🌸✨

(03:38)

[hashtagsmitty]

Smitty's Thailand Adventure - Day 7

Goddamn happened again - I spent two hours on this post and my phone deleted it.

In which snakes get tortured, an expatriot hero is honored, a suit is fitted, and axes don't get thrown.

I slept weird again last night - I'm not used to box spring mattresses. I have a Koala foam mattress and April has a futon, so springs poking me in the ass all night is a new experience for me. Plus the air con, it's hot then it's cold, etcetera.

Usual morning routine - the Hitler Youth and White Family Mart for breakfast. I planned my day while I ate - I wanted to visit the snake farm. Technically, the late queen's memorial snake farm. I thought that sounded awesome.

Skytrain to Siam, swapped to the other line. Not much new to say about the skytrain except there's this jingle that one of the ads plays that I will never get out of my head. Also, there's barriers around some but not all of the platforms, and the train stops perfectly such that the doors are between the openings in the barriers. It's pretty special.

Crazy Thai traffic aside, I made it to the snake farm. It looked like something out of the Walking Dead:

It was mostly the rust on the spikes. And the overgrowth. And the barriers in front of the entrance. And the red cross trucks unloading pallets of gear. I did not think I was supposed to be in there, but the sign said this way to snake farm, so in I went.

I found the place fine. Once I got past the zombie movie shit anyway. The farm looked awesome!

It was a big pagoda with open air snake enclosures all over the place. Very tropical, very novel. There was a big old rat in one of the enclosures. I watched him for ages to see if a snake was going to get him, but he was as still as a statue, with only his tiny rat ears twitching.

After the pagoda was an indoor museum - much the same, but with single cages for each snake. With glass. It wasn't quite what I expected from a Thai snake farm - far more like a zoo than a snake farm. Not enough zero-fucks-given Thai dudes with snakes wrapped around them. I looked at the snakes for a while. This guy was my favourite:

He's a Malayan Mangroce Cat-Eye Snake. I think he's gorgeous. I also thing I have a thing for snakes. They're like nature's ropes.

There was maintenance work going on inside - some drilling or digging or something. Lots of noise. I found it unpleasant, and I'm not a creature whose entire experience of the world is through vibrations. I didn't stay long inside, and left straight after.

I'm not 100% certain that I would never get a snake as a pet. I was before the snake farm, but now I'm not sure.

On the way back to Siam, I saw the Jim Thompson store! I had to go inside and pay my respects to a true expatriot hero.

Thompson's business was selling Thai silk, so the entire store was silk scarves and shirts and other stuff. Expensive silk stuff - one shirt was $200. The cheapest thing I saw was a scrunchie for $40. I looked around for a while then left, richer for having experienced the life of a great man. Also richer for not having bought any of that tourist bait.

I went back to Siam and went book shopping. I had almost finished Growth Mindset and needed something else for the plane. I found this awesome bookshop:

It took up the whole floor, it was so big. It had the largest non-fiction section I'd ever seen. I spent an hour walking around looking at stuff. It was great. I love bookshops.

I bought Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius, a stoic philosophy book I've been meaning to read for ages. I also got The King in Yellow, by Robert W. Chambers. Lovecraft listed it as one of his influences, and I love spooky.

The coolest bit was that the clerk wrapped the two books in plastic to keep them safe. I thought that was a really cool idea, and I was impressed by how quickly she wrapped them - like 5 seconds each. I only noticed later that the plastic had the store's logo on it - even better, now I won't forget its name.

I went home via Thai KFC. I wanted to try it before I left. I knew it was a mistake going in. I always know that KFC is a mistake going in, but this was bad. Weak McDonald's style chips, boring chicken "pops". A waste of time, what with bonchon around the corner. I regret it immensely.

I went home and chilled out for a while - it's been a big week. I've walked a good 75km, according to my phone. I finished Growth Mindset and wrote some notes, listened to music, charged my phone, lazy stuff. Josh texted me and I met him at my station. We went back past Siam to a station near the tailor.

We got bonchon chicken for a late lunch/early dinner. It was great - best I've had in Thailand, and way better than the culinary abortion I had for lunch before. I distracted Josh with a game I've been playing :

It's a programming game, which is 100% Josh's thing. He hated it, but couldn't keep his hands off it. It's based on Assembly, a really old programming language. The first one, pretty much. It frustrated him because it wasn't like normal programming, but I thought it was a good challenge in thinking iteratively.

We walked to the tailor from bonchon. I cursed that I was going to be fat for the fitting. Josh could barely move - we got 18 pieces of chicken and he had 12 of them. I was still full from my mistake earlier.

On the way, I told Josh how frustrated I was with Bangkok's footpaths. There are lips and cracks and broken bits of concrete everywhere. Manhole covers that could drop you into a sewer if you're not careful. Just look at this:

That's a tame one. I've lost count of how many of these things I've tripped over. Or on trick edges to the footpath - step down onto the road, expect it to be level, nope there's another step down, don't you look smart. Or, walking down the steps from the skytrain, again, expect it to be level. Nope! It's on a raised platform, enjoy your trip, see you next fall.

Josh told me to not stand on the manholes.

We walked past some massage girls. I finally saw first hand what Josh has been talking about all week - they pretty much screamed at him. "hey handsome man," they'd say, and he'd say "no thank you," and they'd say "come over here sexy," and he'd say "no thanks". It looked uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I don't know if I Iook less approachable, less wealthy, less naive or less desperate, but none of them have reacted to me like that. Maybe it's because he's 6'3".

We got to the tailor. The suit was almost ready :

Looks awesome - the vest turned out exactly how I wanted it to. The tailor is going to courier it to the hotel tomorrow after some last minute changes. I hope.

We walked back to the skytrain, but the foot traffic was terrible. Peak hour in Bangkok is insane compared to Melbourne. We couldn't even get onto the platform last time we tried. So, we sat down at Starbucks and shot the shit for a while. I showed him my notes on Growth Mindset, and we argued about that a while. He talked about how he was going to do some of Bill's contract, then renegotiate. Seemed reasonable.

We headed home around 8 - our earliest night this week, but it's been a big one for both of us. Josh is moving to a new condo tomorrow. The train ride back was bittersweet - it's been a fun holiday. We both said while walking around that there's very few people either of us could hang out with for a full week without going crazy. He's probably coming back to Melbourne next month though, so it's not too bad.

I'm going to miss him when I head back. But I'm not going to miss much else. Bangkok is -

I guess I'll save my thoughts on the city for when I'm safely no longer in it.

I found this set of signs on the street today and it made me laugh: