#i'll try get it done for wednesday as my next three days are busy :)

[eunseok-s]

for all those asking, there is a part 2 to enha calling their s/o clingy on the wayyyy and yes, they're all getting their asses dumped bc never let someone treat u like that 🗡️

[cheswirls]

short asl thing based on @where-does-the-heart-lie's modern au :) i started this over a year ago but the beginning is all dialogue and felt more like a script to me i suppose??? which deflated my desire to work on it. anyway i checked it over recently and it's completely fine lmfao, self-confidence restored here we go !

-

"Yo. Aren't you usually in the middle of your shift by now?"

"I've been banned from the hospital."

"Like, for life?"

"No. For the next, uh.. Twenty-two hours."

"That's oddly specific."

"It was twenty-four, but I fell asleep after leaving the building."

"That wouldn't have to do with why they kicked you out, at all?"

"Hmmm. I'm too sleep-deprived, apparently."

"Ah. And, um, you called me because...?"

"I pressed a random number in my call log after waking up. Lucky you, I guess."

"Yeah. Right. Lucky me. And your car keys are...?"

"Confiscated."

"Ah, right, of course."

A beat of silence. Two. Three, then "Look, if you're busy, then–"

"No, no.  You called me, so I'll be there. Give me twenty minutes."

"Alright. Thank–"

"Thank someone else. Also, if you fall asleep in my car, I'm taking it as express permission to drive you around wherever I want."

"Ugh, go die. I don't even know why I bothered."

"LUCKY YOU, I guess," sounds off way too loudly in his ear. "No take backs. See you in ten."

"I thought you said–" Sabo breaks off as the call ends, leaving him staring blankly at his phone's too-dim screen. He squints, turns the brightness all the way up, and still squints as the sunlight proves too strong for the display.

Ace shows up in more than ten but decidedly less than twenty minutes. Sabo doesn't waste much brain power on it, only climbing into the passenger seat and yawning into his palm while his other hand fixes the seatbelt into the buckle. Not a second too soon, too, as Ace roars the engine to life and peels away from the curb at record speed.

Ace fiddles with the radio. He turns the music up, then dial it back down to inaudible. They hit the expressway and he leans over the steering wheel, frowning with his eyes fixed on the road far ahead. Sabo yawns again and this appears to be the limit to his patience. 

"Hey, so, I had a thought after you hung up on me."

Sabo grimaces. "You mean you–"

"Today's Wednesday."

He doesn't elaborate. Sabo is too tired to process. "Yes," he follows, after a second. He glances at the sky out the front window. "What time is it?"

"Oh, uh." Ace fumbles with hand placement so he can lift his watch to his face. "Nine forty."

Sabo takes a couple beats to try and process this, moves his eyes away from the skyline, and sighs as he pulls his phone out. 2:47 is what the display reads, which sounds much more believable.

"How did the minute hand get off?" he mutters to himself, chancing a look at Ace's busted wristwatch. Ace raises a brow, taking his gaze off the road to scrutinize Sabo. "No, it doesn't matter," he mutters to himself once more, sliding his phone away back on his person and out of his hands.

"My point is," Ace continues, like he hasn't just been interrupted by a whole thing. "Your timeout will be done midday Thursday. Did they switch your days off?"

"No." Sabo sighs. "They technically gave me the next thirty-six hours. Technically closer to forty. Something like that. I go back in on Friday. Sometime.” He tries to smile and it turns out very lopsided, from that he can make out in the rearview mirror. “Can you tell I’m tired?”

“I don’t think ‘tired’ is an accurate description,” Ace quips. “When did you eat a proper meal last?”

“Uh, yesterday. Maybe.”

“Maybe??”

“A ‘proper meal’ means different things to the two of us,” Sabo huffs. “On my account it was yesterday. I’ve had food since then, of course.”

“Alright, so here’s the plan,” Ace announces before absolutely whipping it around a curve. Sabo is his passenger in the passenger seat and had fully prepared to be so when he got in the vehicle, but he’d been vastly underprepared for this sudden course of action, which is how he ends up halfway out of his seat with his cheek slammed into the cold window. Ace doesn’t quite notice his brother’s terminal velocity until the car is once again on the straight and narrow, and only then it’s because of the audible thunk Sabo’s face makes when it collides with the glass.

“Aw shit. You good bro?”

“Ow,” Sabo mutters. “If I have broken bones I’m suing your ass.”

“Well, if you’re good enough to make jokes, I think you’re better than you’re letting on.” Ace keeps the wheel steady with one knee while he takes both hands away to crack his fingers. When he glances over at Sabo again, he looks even more pathetic – like he’s becoming one with the glass. “Anyway, as I was saying.

“I’m taking your ass home. You’re going straight to sleep and while you crash, I’ll make you something decent to eat and stick it in the fridge for you to heat up later. I’ll even make you two servings to eat two different times, since you clearly can’t be trusted to take care of yourself correctly.”

“Ouch.”

“I want you to conk out for as long as your body allows. We can reset your sleep schedule tomorrow, alright? Put your phone on silent; do not answer any calls. In fact, you know what, just give it to me.

Sabo glances over to see Ace’s hand held out to him, palm up. Fingers wiggling expectantly. His lips pull up into a grimace. “I’m not doing that.”

“Fine.” Ace takes his hand back. “But you will comply with everything else.”

“Wow! It’s so funny, I didn’t realize you turned into my mother overnight! Really tapped into your mom potential, huh? Anything exciting happen in your life that would cause that? I guess I wouldn’t know, since I’ve been a zombie for the past two days.”

“There’s nothing wrong with acting like your older brother, you dipshit, especially if you keep putting yourself through the wringer like this. You go home. You sleep. You wake up and eat. You go back to sleep. Then we do laundry. Does that sound agreeable?”

“That’s negotiable, at the least,” Sabo mumbles. “I will accept good food as a form of bribery.”

“Oh, nice, because I’m flat broke at the moment.”

Sabo makes a mental note of that, and then they’re pulling into the driveway. Ace lets him exit the vehicle by himself and then promptly manhandles him all the way onto the couch where it will be easier to force his body to relax than in a real bed. Ace knows this, so he calls him weird before chucking a loose blanket at his head. Sabo is almost too tired to function at this point, so he lets Ace have the last laugh in favor of finally closing his eyes.

Coming to is a surreal experience, especially since the sun is still out. He must make a noise because Ace is suddenly within view. His limbs are tangled in the blanket and still so heavy that he doesn’t bother moving. “Thought you would be gone,” he half-groans, eyes slipping shut again for a moment.

“I did leave,” Ace confirms. “I had to go pilfer some stuff to make stew with. It’s almost done, so I’ll hang here until then.”

Pilfer. That could mean any number of things. Sabo chooses to believe in the option where Ace is an upstanding citizen, and then remembers Ace saying earlier that he had no money. He frowns and squirms on the cushions enough to where it looks like he’s checking his pockets. “Where’s my wallet, Ace?” he bluffs.

“Somewhere around here,” Ace pipes up. “Your stomach will thank you for your contributions to the Portgas Household’s pantry!”

“Ugh, I got robbed,” he complains. “This sucks. ‘m going back to sleep.” He rolls over so his back is to Ace.

“Yeah, you do you, bro. Stew will still be here later. I’ll see you when you’re back in the world of the living.”

—

Luffy comes in late that night and slams the front door shut as loud as humanly possible. When he appears in the main room, he doesn’t seem to be upset, so Ace writes it off as a Luffyism. Sabo hasn’t stirred at the noise, so it’s all good.

Realizing this, Luffy pads closer to Ace’s side and looks at Sabo’s unmoving body warily. “Why is Sabo passed out like a corpse? Is he sick?”

“No, he’s not sick, he just can’t take care of himself. Which is why we are going to let him sleep for as long as possible.”

Luffy just nods to this, but it’s the uncomprehending Luffy-nod that means he’s just going to end up doing whatever he wants to regardless. Ace sighs, then jerks his head towards the kitchen. “He ate a little earlier, but I want him to eat again when he wakes up. There’s stew in the fridge if you want it – just leave him a little. Got it, Monkey D. Luffy?”

Luffy throws him a salute and then runs off in his socks. “Yippee! Ace made stew!”

“Think of your brother, Luffy, and make good choices!” Ace calls after him. “He’s a pathetic man who needs food to feel better or he’ll end up sleeping through Laundry Day!”

—

Sabo does not sleep through laundry day, but he does sleep for sixteen whole hours, so it’s just around noon when he forces himself up off the couch and into a warm shower.

Ace is around, which is mildly unexpected. But he’s still half-asleep, so everything is at least a little unexpected. He glances up from playing video games with Luffy to see Sabo leaving the steam-filled bathroom with his hair hanging around his shoulders. “You look like a wet cat,” he calls.

“Sabo’s awake!” Luffy cheers. “Ace thought you died at one point.”

Ace elbows Luffy in the gut, making him hunch over. “I did not!”

“He totally checked to see if your heart was still beating!”

“I’m undead, actually,” Sabo says completely seriously.

“Does that mean you don’t need to eat anymore?” Luffy questions. “Because I ate all the stew last night.”

“I saw that coming and made extra.” Ace finger-guns in Sabo’s general direction. “That’s why I bought two sets of ingredients. With your money!”

“With my money,” Sabo echoes, because it’s such a wild statement to have to deal with this early in the day. Well, early for him. “Fuck you.”

“I mean, I can tell Luffy where I hid–”

“Thank you, Ace, for agreeing to share your quarters with both of your brothers so we can all do laundry today on your dime!” Sabo raises his pitch so his voice is mockingly squeaky when he says this. He starts moving down the hall before Ace can start to argue, letting his and Luffy’s voices bleed into the background.

When he comes back out, now dressed, it smells significantly better than before. “I reheated the stew,” Ace announces, gesturing for Sabo to take a seat at the kitchen counter. “Let’s all have lunch before we head out.”

“You have to drink this too,” Luffy tells Sabo, sliding a Gatorade across the counter so it sets in front of him when he finally does take a seat. “Ace’s orders.”

“Gotta get those nutrients back somehow.”

“Aren’t we so considerate, Sabo?”

“Do you even know what ‘considerate’ means?” Sabo asks, lips quirking up into a half-smile. At Luffy’s shrug, it turns into a real smile. “Well, thanks anyway. Both of you.”

“No sweat. And look!” Ace brandishes a five dollar bill for both to see. “I found this baby for us to use on coins! It’s all on me today–”

“Where’s my wallet, Ace?!”

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Hello! How are you? Hope you're doing good. I was wondering if I could request a Poly!Pastics x reader where the reader is a HUGE people pleaser and R does everything for everyone and it got so bad to where R stayed awake for three weeks straight to have time to make everyone happy. The girls have enough and force force their girlfriend to sleep and not stress over other people?

Sorry if it's too much or top specific.

Whats One More?||

|| Poly!plastics x fem!reader

(i myself am poly!)

|| Warnings: swearing, super long, Reader's absolutely exhausted, Regina being Regina, comfort (i dont think there's too many, if i missed something lmk)

|| Summary: Reader keeps helping out everyone to the point where it begins to effect her sleep schedule. Ms. Norbury notices and brings it to the attention of the plastics, who comfort Reader and get Reader to sleep.

Requests open!

Started: April 20th

Finished: April 21st

~~~

To say you were a people pleaser would be an understatement. You weren't sure if there was a better word to describe it, maybe... doormat? You couldn't say no to save your life. It was a genuine problem that often spiralled beyond your control. Well, you could control it. If you just said no. But that was mean. You hated the thought of anyone hating you, so you worked overtime to make sure that never happened.

Today was no different.

"Hey, Y/N! Wait up!" Shane Omen yelled your name from across the hall as you stood at your locker, making you internally groan. You didn't like Shane but you never showed it. You forced out a smile as you looked at him.

"What's up, Shane?" You asked, keeping your tone your signature calm one. As opposed to the internal screaming that was going on in your head. Why couldn't he just leave you alone? You had been having an amazing day before he showed up.

"Mind doing my homework for me? I'm just so busy this week that I have no time for it. Oh, and my buddies too. I'll pay ya." He smirked at you, clearly trying to use whatever charm he could muster. This wasn't the first time it's happened. His friend had walked up next to him, holding a large stack of papers up to his chest which you could only assume was the entirety of Shane's friend groups overdo homework.

You held back a sigh.

"Yeah. When do you need it done by?" You asked. Reluctantly. You hated the thought of doing all that extra work, but then again you hated the thought of someone hating you more than you hated the idea of doing the homework. So you'd do it. On top of your own you already had to do, plus you had promised Karen you'd help her out with hers.

"This Friday." He replied, gesturing for his friend to give you the work. Which he did. He practically shoved it into you.

The sudden weight added to your binders almost made you stumble, this Friday? It was fucking Wednesday. That gave you two nights. Shit, you'd have to pull all nighters in order to get this done, your own work, AND help Karen. Maybe Karen should come first, since she was her girlfriend. Restart.

Karen, your own work, and Shane's shit. That's the order you gathered in your head. You could help Karen out tonight, get your own work done after and get it all done in one session so you could focus the rest of the day tomorrow on Shane's stuff. Yeah, that could work.

"Yeah... I got it. You don't have to pay." You smiled at him, he gave your shoulder a playful nudge. Sure, the money for your time would be nice. But you hated the thought of taking someone's money. Even if it was Shane Omen's.

"You're amazing, Y/N!" Shane and his buddy walked off, high fiving each other and clasping their hands together with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and readjusted the papers and your binder with your knee. Sighing at the sight of the stack you now held.

Finale bell went, showing the end of the day. Which you were grateful for.

You moved the papers and binders to one side so you could hold it with a single arm comfortably. Then opened your locker with your now free hand, holding your knee up to keep the papers from slipping. Grimacing slightly at your awkward option as you pulled your bag from your locker, stumbling back as the bag came out. Though your balance was caught by Gretchen, who gave you a soft smile and held you as you gathered your footing. Slinging the bag on your shoulder then holding the papers with both arms again.

"Thanks, baby." You smiled at your girlfriend, Karen quickly came up behind her and smiled at you.

"Y/N!" She gave you a quick hug, you kissed Karen's cheek since your hands were too full to hug her back.

Gretchen looked at all the stuff in your arms and raised an eyebrow," What's all that?"

"Shane's stuff. He needed some extra help." You explain briefly, not giving too many details. Gretchen narrowed her eyes at that. You were helping Shane? Shane Omen? Why?

She was going to ask more, when Karen suddenly frowned and interrupted.

"You're still helping me tonight, right?"

"No yeah, yeah of course! Come over to mine when Regina drops us off, okay?" You assure her, feeling a little bad for making her think you wouldn't be able to help her too. Even if it was an accident. As for Regina dropping you off, she pretty much always takes you to and from school along with Karen & Gretchen.

Karen smiles gratefully at you and pulls you in for a kiss, you happily kiss her back and Gretchen takes a photo of the two of you.

"That's so cute! It's going on our shared insta." Gretchen says with a little squeal, opening insta on her phone and going to the shared account you all have access to. She posts the photo with the caption: look at these cuties 🥺💕

You break the kiss and smile at Gretchen, your group text then goes off with a text from Regina.

|| Regina: where the hell are all of you?? I'll leave you here if you dont hurry your asses.

There's a pause before another text comes in.

|| Regina: YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING OUT WITHOUT ME

You laughed when you read that one, Gretchen giggled too and you glanced at Karen with an innocent grin.

"She must've seen the photo." You say with a laugh, the girls nod their heads in agreement and the three of you head to Regina's jeep. You didn't want to keep her waiting longer than you already have.

At the jeep, Karen and Gretchen got in the back while you took your usual seat in the front next to Regina. Who was already looking at you expectantly.

"Just a sec," You tell her, attempting to stuff your binders and additional papers into your bag so they didn't blow away when Regina drove. Considering her jeep had no doors, something you found awfully inconvenient.

Regina groans and rolls her eyes," Ugh. Why do you have so much extra papers anyway?"

"Helping Shane." You reply, part of you had wanted to lie because you knew Regina wouldn't like the answer. But if she found out about the lie (and she always does) that would've made things way worse.

Regina looked offended," What? Seriously? Why the fuck?"

"He asked and I couldn't say no.." You admit in a mumble, making Regina narrow her eyes at you.

"You gotta work on that. Seriously, Y/N." Regina says, you finally get everything to fit in your bag before you looked at her with a frown.

"You know, Regina's right Y/N." Gretchen pipes up, leaning forward and resting her arm on Regina's back seat as she looks at you with a concerned gaze." You take on way too much from other people."

"But they'll get mad if I say no." You respond, turning your gaze to Gretchen for a moment.

"So? Fuck them, let them get mad." Regina shrugged and grabbed your chin, making you look at her before kissing you roughly. Your eyes widened at the suddenness of it but you melted into the kiss. She broke it off and wiped your bottom lip with her thumb, smirking at you," You owed me a kiss."

You blushed deeply and she laughed at your reaction, shaking her head and starting up her car.

"You're too easy. But fuck, Y/N. You gotta stop letting people walk all over you. You're not a fucking doormat." Regina's words may have been harsh, but they were the truth. You did need to stop letting people walk all over you.

~~~

But maybe not today. It was now Monday. You had managed to get everything done for Friday, much to your own sacrifice. You haven't slept a wink since Tuesday night before everything happened. And you were starting to feel it. Sure you could have slept on the weekend, but your girls dragged you around to house parties both Saturday night and Sunday night. You stayed sober to keep an eye on them and be the designated driver and you probably could have slept when you got them home, but you wanted to make sure nothing happened throughout the night. So you've been awake for almost a week straight. It was hell.

Today you had Chess Club, an extra curricular club you had chosen. You managed to get your girlfriends to agree to let you do it, Gretchen had put up a bit of an argument but when she saw how good you were at the game she let it slide.

You sat in your usual spot at the library, a chess board in front of you as played off against your best friend; Flow Scotts (short for Florence). You guys had met when you joined Chess Club, having been paired together day one. The two of you were a pretty even match and would face off against each other frequently, which built the friendship between the two of you.

You studied the board as you rubbed one of your eyes, plotting your next move while trying to stay awake. She already had you in check with her bishop, so you moved your own bishop to block hers. With the Queen defending the bishop it was a solid move, if she decided to take your piece blocking your King you could safely take hers with your Queen. sorry to the non-chess nerds who aren't going to really understand my rambles here.

Flow made a huff sound and you laughed, smiling at her when someone comes to sit next to your table. You didn't recognize him, so you assumed he must've been new to the Club as he watched your game with an interest only Chess Club members seemed to have in their eyes.

Flow blinks and looks up from the board, getting distracted from whatever strategy she had been forming in her head." Can we help you?"

"Oh! Hi! Um, Mr. Rapp told me I could come join you guys here. And like observe and maybe play winner. I'm James." He introduces himself, you and Flow glanced at each other and you shrugged.

"Alright. This is Flow, I'm-" He stops you with a smile.

"Y/N. I know, everyone knows. You're dating the plastics." James says, you sighed. You hated when people called them that. They were so much more than 'the plastics' behind closed doors.

"Right." You nodded your head.

"Also, I'm still sort of new to Chess and Mr. Rapp said that one of you could help me out with like extra chess lessons after school?" James continued on, you glanced at Flow.

"I have soccer practice after soccer today." Flow looks back at you. Flow didn't play soccer, she clearly just didn't want to tutor him.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it. Meet here five minutes after the bell." You tell James, who gives you a grateful smile.

You had a test you had wanted to study for after school and a project you had wanted to use the school lab computers for, but now you were stuck tutoring James. You figured you could just pull another all nighter to get the work done. What's one more?

~~

Well, one more turned into many more. It's been a total of three weeks since you last had a decent, solid sleep and it was really affecting your grades. People just kept asking things of you and you couldn't tell them no. It was bad.

Ms. Norbury was the first to notice your grades dropping, as your grades in math were pretty solid. They weren't mathletes worthy but they weren't completely low either. You averaged a 75%, which had now dropped down to 68% with your lack of sleep and focus in class.

You were currently in math, which was your fourth period. Trying desperately to pay attention and not fall asleep. Though at one point you droop so low your head hits the table, startling you into a more upright position as people stared at you in confusion. Ms. Norbury narrowed her eyes, sleeping in class wasn't like you. She was sure something was wrong.

"Okay, everybody take 5." She says, people get up and head out while she walks over to you.

"Y/N? Everything alright?"

"Just tired." You tell her in a mumble, you weren't a mumbler.

"Honey, when was the last time you slept?" She asked, crouching down in front of your desk to get a better look at you. She frowned as she saw the dark circles and the very evident exhaustion.

You simply shrugged, to you her voice felt far and distant so you had to put all your remaining energy into hearing her. You couldn't remember the last time you had a good sleep. You knew it had been a while ago, though. All your days just felt as though they had blended together.

That concerned Ms. Norbury further, she debated if she should just send you home at this rate. After all it was just fourth period and she was sure you'd have people in other classes who could get the work you missed.

"Come on, Y/N. How about we call one of your parents and have them come get you?" She said softly, knowing a good sleep at home would be what you needed.

When you heard that you shook your head, you knew your parents wouldn't come get you. Even if you had been throwing up they'd tell you to tough it out.

"They wouldn't.." You say in a mumble, Ms. Norbury frowns at that and tries to think of a plan B. She knew the various cliques and which students hung out with who, so she knew you were close with the plastics. The question was which one would be come get you? Little did she know any one of them would do it in a heartbeat.

She sighed quietly to herself and stood up," Alright, just wait here." She tells you before heading to the class phone and giving someone a call. You weren't sure who.

About five minutes pass before Gretchen comes running into the room, when she saw you she paused and looked at Ms. Norbury. They seemed to have some silent conversation, no. Their mouths were moving. You just couldn't focus enough to hear what they were saying.

You slumped back in your seat and your eyes started to close, exhaustion catching up to you when you felt hands on your shoulders and looked to see Gretchen watching you with worry all over her face.

Gretchen had known that something was wrong. She knew it from the start, but every time she tried to talk about it with you you would just say 'tired' and nothing else so she gave up pressing you on it. She knew she should have tried harder to get the information out of you.

Even Regina had tried too at one point, she noticed when you weren't fully present in a conversation she was having with you. You just kept replying with 'mhm' 'uh huh' and so she tested it by saying 'I dont know what to wear to school tomorrow, think I should go topless?' you replied with a simple 'yepper' and that basically confirmed for her that you weren't listening. So, when she asked what was wrong after getting your attention, you just replied 'tired' to her too. She didn't think to press further.

"Y/N, are you listening?" Gretchen asked, a frown on her lips after she had snapped her fingers to get your attention. You blinked and looked at her.

"Huh?" You didn't realize she had been trying to talk with you.

"I'm taking you to Regina's, Ms. George will come get us." Ms. George was your backup. If one of you needed to go home for whatever reason or just wanted to skip and relax, she always said that she would come get you girls," I texted the groupchat and told them what was going on. They're on their way over, just hang tight. Okay?"

You nodded and not too long after all three were standing before you, Ms. Norbury was back at her desk. Letting you girls have your space.

"You look exhausted." Karen points out. Leave it to Karen to point out the obvious.

Regina narrows her eyes at her and sighs before looking back at you, resting her hand to your cheek and rubbing it gently with her thumb. You lean in a little closer to her touch," Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Busy." You reply, unable to gather enough energy to say more. The three exchanged looks.

"Busy with what?" Regina replied, she knew you had your Chess Club, tutoring Karen, and your own work on top of that but she didn't think that was enough to get you this tired.

"Helping people." You explain, talking simply again. She groaned at that. That's what caused this?

"Baby, I thought I told you to say no?" Regina takes her hand off you, you feel the warmth leave and you almost slump forward on your desk. You'd been using her hand as support. Her hands rest on her hips as Gretchen catches you and keeps you up, giving your forehead a soft kiss.

"Mean." You respond.

"Excuse me?" Regina looked offended, thinking you had called her mean. You shook your head and desperately looked at Gretchen to translate.

Gretchen tensed, racking her brain to think of what you meant," Did you mean saying 'no' was mean?"

You nodded.

"That's not mean. You can always say no, that's what Gretchen says to me all the time." Karen pipes up, Gretchen gives her a soft look and nods in agreement.

"Y/N/N, you're allowed to have boundaries." Gretchen tells you," is it really worth it if it's doing this to you?"

You were going to respond but there was a knock at the door, you glanced at it and saw Flow there.

"Hey, Y/N. I would've texted but I was walking by here anyway, you coming to Chess tonight?" She asked.

Regina scoffed and folded her arms," Absolutely not. Fuck off."

"Regina, language!" Ms. Norbury narrowed her eyes at the blonde who rolled her own.

Flow tensed at Regina's harshness and looked at you. Gretchen scrambles a response.

"What Regina meant is that Y/N is just super tired, she's going home to rest tonight. Right, baby?" Gretchen looked at you. Expecting you to agree.

Regina looked at you with a look that was basically commanding you to tell Flow 'no'. You hated it.

"Resting tonight..." You grumbled, continuing to speak in simple terms.

Flow's gaze shifted to concern but she nodded her head," okay.. let me know how you're doing later, alright?" She left after that.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Regina kept her gaze on you.

"Awful." You shook your head, disagreeing with her which makes her scoff.

Soon enough, Ms. George comes and picks all three of you up. Bringing you to their place. You were brought to Regina's bed by your girlfriends, who all snuggled up with you in bed. Gretchen on your right, Karen on the left and Regina on top. You easily fell asleep once Regina started giving your neck soft, soothing kisses. Your girls stayed close to you.

You slept for a solid 24 hours and some.

[glossdebut]

Take a Bite Ch. 3

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you're finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off... Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You've accepted the fact that romance isn't for you, under any circumstances. You won't risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you'll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up

✧ WARNINGS: yoongi being RICH. also... remember that eventual smut? well it's kind of here! if you wanna skip, stop reading at [Maybe you should fix that.] and then continue at [After another moment, you roll over onto your stomach...]

✧ WORDCOUNT: 3.5k

✧ STATUS: ongoing

✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi i normally post on wednesdays but we're about to get a HURRICANE where i'm at so i'm posting early lmfao. rating goes up in this chapter whoops! not sure when chapter 4 will be posted but i'll keep you guys updated. thank you all so much for the engagement i've been receiving on this fic!!! it's my first one ever and i never expected to get so many readers so quickly <3 you guys are keeping me writing so please feel free to send me feedback if you like this chapter. i'd love to read it if i have power over the next few days LOL

Chapter 3: I Wanna Fold Clothes For You

So, you and Yoongi are friends.

Of course, seeing him three times within twenty four hours was a fluke, and over the next six days you don’t see him once, not even in passing in your shared hallway. You’re not privy to his work hours, but you know based on what little he’s told you that working as a producer demands more than the normal nine to five, as does your job.

Still, there’s something about coming home every night and knowing that you have a friend right down the hall, if you need one. You haven’t had that in a long time, and you feel so much lighter now that you do have it. 

There is, of course, an upside to not being able to see Yoongi often. Given that you’ve only just met him, you don’t have his appearance committed to memory quite yet, and mercifully, you’re beginning to forget why you were so viscerally attracted to him in the first place. 

You reason that it must’ve been the alcohol. You were getting drunk when you met him, stupidly drunk when you discovered that you’re neighbors, hungover when you shared a tangerine, and drinking from a bottomless glass of wine (courtesy of Seokjin) when you drooled over his hands for a solid ten minutes. You have yet to interact with Yoongi clear-headed and lucid. Not to mention you’re just a little bit… pent up, recently. Drunk and horny Y/N had the wheel. That has to be it. Nobody is that hot. You’re sure of that. Men ain’t special!

So you go through your week business as usual, but with a slight spring in your step, and it’s lovely. You even venture way further away from the office for your lunch hour on Friday than you normally would to go to a restaurant you’ve been dying to try. You’re usually so tied to the office that the furthest you tend to go is the convenience store down the street for the instant stuff.

And then, since the universe demands correction (or overcorrection where you’re concerned), all of the floaty goodness comes to a screeching halt when you get in your car to head back to the office. Your car which, in the past hour you’ve been blissfully stuffing your face with tteokbokki, has decided it has done its job and is ready to retire.

It just straight up won’t start.

Sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant, you go into crisis management mode.

You’re thankfully not completely clueless where cars are concerned. It comes with the territory of owning a beater. You keep up with your oil changes, you don’t leave the lights on when you get home late. You replaced your battery semi-recently, so that shouldn’t be it. Unfortunately, you don’t have much time to troubleshoot. You need to get back to work. Okay… Damage control, then.

The most obvious solution is to call one of your coworkers to come and rescue you, but your coworkers are just as notorious for being tethered within a one mile radius of the office as you are, so that would more than likely end up being a waste of time. You could find the nearest bus stop, but who knows how long public transportation could take right now? Too unpredictable. You could call your boss and tell him that you’re not going to be back to the office anytime soon (or at all today) and get your car towed and repaired. But then you would suddenly have a reputation of being unreliable, because god forbid you have a human moment. That’s straight up not an option. You’ve been doing so good this week.

You’re sure there are other options. But isn’t this what friends are for?

He answers on the fifth ring, but he answers.

“Y/N?” 

“Yoongi.” You feel your shoulders slump in relief. You try your best not to sound as panicked as you feel. “Are you busy?”

“Um. I’m at the studio,” he says, confusion in his voice. “But I have a minute. Is everything okay?” Confusion and concern? That’s nice.

“Everything’s fine!” you blurt out. “Okay, maybe not. My car won’t start! I don’t know why, but it won’t, and I need to get back to work, but you’re at work, too! I don’t even know where you work, but I doubt it’s anywhere near where I am, and even if it is, I don’t want to tear you away from anything important—”

“Y/N.”

“—I know you said you had a minute, but I really don’t want to fuck up your flow. That’s a term, right? You’re a producer, you… flow. Anyway, I just don’t really know anyone here and I didn’t know who to call, and if I don’t get back to work soon my boss is going to kill me—”

“Y/N,” he says, more firmly. Your mouth snaps shut. “Where are you?”

“In my car,” you say dumbly, frazzled.

Yoongi sighs. “Send me your location.”

“For what?”

“I’m gonna send a car to come get you and drive you to your office,” he says, and he sounds just the slightest bit exasperated about needing to explain that to you.

Send a car? What the fuck? You have so many questions, such as: how fucking loaded is the guy who lives two doors down from you in your very shitty apartment building? What label does he even work for? How famous of a producer is he to be able to send a car to you? But your immediate instinct to turn down his help wins out over asking any of them.

“What? Yoongi, no, that’s too much,” you complain. “Don’t do that. I just freaked out a little bit, I can–”

“Y/N,” he interrupts. If you’re not mistaken, it sounds a bit like he’s trying not to laugh at you. Fucker. “Location.”

So you send him your location. What other option do you have?

“You’re not far,” Yoongi says once he receives your text. A few moments pass, and then: “Car will be there in ten.”

“Thank you,” you say. You feel nauseous, like maybe you’re going to cry, but there’s also a good amount of relief there, too. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“No need,” he says. “I’d come get you myself, but I really can’t get away right now.”

“Still, there’s a comically large bottle of an alcohol of your choosing in your future. Seriously, thank you.”

His responding laugh is enough to settle your stomach just a little. “Seriously, you don’t need to pay me back…” A pause. “But for the record, I like whiskey.”

You wrinkle your nose even though he can’t see it. “Gross.”

“Don’t be a hater.”

“As long as you don’t make me drink it with you, I’ll keep my comments to myself,” you say, finding yourself smiling.

“Oh, you think I share?” Yoongi teases back. He sighs again. “I really have to go.”

“Go, go,” you say. “Thanks for saving me. Even if it’s by proxy.”

“You can always call me if you need shit like this,” he says. You can tell that he means it. “I’m glad you called me. Means I’m doing something right.”

“You are,” you say, your voice soft. Your cheeks feel warm. Probably because you’re sitting in a dead car. “Thanks.”

Yoongi hums in response. “Text me when you get back to the office safe, okay?”

“I will. Bye, Yoongi.”

And that’s that.

★ ★ ★

True to your word, you text Yoongi when the stupidly luxurious car he ordered for you drops you off at your office, only ten minutes later than you’re due back from your lunch break. You’re able to slip in without anyone noticing that you’re late at all, which is great. Crisis partially averted.

He sends back a thumbs up emoji, and then decides to drop the bomb that he intends to pay for your car to be towed.

[1:21] You: YOONGI NO

[1:21] You: you can’t do that!!!!

[1:24] Yoongi: 100% I can and will as soon as I get ten minutes to make a phone call to sort it out.

The audacity of this man.

[1:25] You: seriously i cannot ask you to do that

[1:25] You: i was just going to take the bus back to the restaurant after work and deal with it from there. i’m actively researching towing companies and repair places on company time as we speak

[1:30] Yoongi: You’re not asking me. You’ve got enough to worry about. Let me take care of it. I know the places.

[1:31] You: still, i can’t let you spend money like that on me. i don’t even wanna think about what that car cost you

[1:31] Yoongi: If it helps you sleep at night you can pay me back on your own time. You definitely don’t have to though.

[1:32] Yoongi: That reminds me. You can use that car until yours is taken care of if you need to. I’ll send you the driver’s contact. Don’t take the bus.

You feel like you’re going insane.

[1:33] You: do you have a grammy or something? what do you DO to be able to afford shit like this? why do you live in our building? are you a drug dealer?

[1:37] Yoongi: :]

Of course, he gives you no clues about what exactly he does, but after a bit more back-and-forth, you finally give in and let Yoongi handle everything under the condition that you’re going to pay him back. He doesn’t seem all that worried about it, which infuriates you just a little.

You go through the rest of your day like normal, if not a tad twitchy. Come quitting time, you take advantage of having a driver at your disposal and have him stop a liquor store on your way home.

As you take the elevator up to your floor, comically large whiskey bottle (as promised) in tow, you text Yoongi and ask if he’s home yet. At his responding ‘No, why?’ you cackle to yourself and pocket your phone. The elevator doors slide open. You were hoping that would be the case. 

You clocked out at a semi-normal time tonight, a gift to yourself to cope with the stress of the day, and so you take great pleasure in setting the bottle down on Yoongi’s very tasteful cat doormat, flipping it off right back on your way into your own apartment.

You silently pray to whatever god may be listening that the whiskey isn’t swiped by someone before Yoongi gets home. Your cat, Pepper, is blinking at you lazily on the kitchen counter, and you give her a triumphant little scratch on the head before padding to your bedroom to deal with your laundry.

Your move, Min Yoongi.

★ ★ ★

“Do I need to be jealous?”

You take advantage of getting off work early to call your best friend Rina for the first time in what feels like forever. She’s in Paris this month, debuting a play that she’s been working on tirelessly about aliens and drug addiction. You’ve read the script six times over. It’s both campy and gut wrenching all at once, and you’ve cried every time. You picture her with her very chic haircut, sipping from a flute of champagne. The thought of her being jealous of any part of your life is laughable. 

“What do you have to be jealous of, exactly?” you snort, holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you toss your laundry basket upside down on your bed unceremoniously. Your clothes are covered in a perma-layer of Pepper hair, and you think it’s lucky that Pepper is a black cat and most of your clothes are black. Very enviable.

“Of Yoongi, dipshit,” she coos through the phone. “You’re replacing me.”

“Sure,” you say, like she’s making total sense. You’re lying on top of your laundry now instead of folding it. You put her on speakerphone and rest your phone on your chest. “I’m throwing away ten years of being your best friend for a guy that I met a week ago. I’m glad you figured it out, honestly, because I was dreading telling you. I was going to wait until your matinée, but you don’t seem too broken up about it.”

“Of course. You have to do what’s right for you, I’ve always told you that,” she deadpans back, and you groan. You don’t want to hear it. “No, I just mean… It’s good. That you’re meeting people.”

“We’re neighbors,” you say, flopping over onto your front to rub at your temples. Rina is resting on a pile of your underwear now. “We talk about work. My work, not his, because he thinks it’s funny to act like he’s too cool to tell me about his job. He’s helping me with my car. We’re… neighborly.”

“And you want to fuck him,” she says. Maybe calling Rina was a bad idea. Debriefing over text would have sufficed.

“I don’t want to fuck him,” you say, indignant. “We’re friends. He’s nice. I can have a guy friend.”

“Of course you can,” Rina says, like you’re dumb for even thinking she would imply otherwise. “And you can be friends with him all you want. But you also want to fuck him.”

You groan in protest but she speaks over it.

“Baby, you can pretend, but I know how you talk about people you want to have sex with, even if you don’t say it outright,” she continues. “He may just be feeding you and helping you and talking to you about the weather, but I know you, and I know the whole time he’s talking you’re just agonizing over how he might fuck you if you let him.”

“That’s not fair,” you mumble, letting your face drop into your laundry. It smells good. Small comforts.

“Are you going to let him?”

“No,” you whine, muffled by the cotton. “I don’t need that. There are always strings. I hate strings.”

“You said he’s a super straightforward, honest guy, right?” Rina asks.

“Brutally so,” you grumble.

“So. Maybe he’d be cool with a lack of strings. You won’t know unless you ask, baby.”

You want to tell her that’s easy for her to say, but you don’t want to fight with her when you know you won’t hear from her like this again for a while. 

Rina has never compromised for anything. She decided in both of your sophomore year of college, after flirting with both performance and directing, that she wanted to be a playwright, and that was that. 

She wrote and wrote and wrote, and after you graduated together, her career blossomed almost instantly because she worked goddamn hard for it. She got opportunities to travel and work with theatre companies around the world, and she took them without giving it a second thought because she knew it was what she wanted. And she’s had a consistent, loyal boyfriend nearly the whole time. He doesn’t always travel with her, but he supports her in everything she does. They’re excruciatingly healthy about it. 

When your long-term college boyfriend dumped you unceremoniously two months into your first reporter gig because he felt he came second to your career, Rina was there for you. But you resented her a little bit. There was no way she could understand any of it. 

Still, as much as you hate to admit it, she has a point. You could just ask Yoongi if he wants to fool around without it being a thing, and you know he’d give you a straight answer. You’re even pretty confident he wouldn’t make it weird if his answer was no. That’s not the problem. It never is.

“The problem isn’t whether or not I think he’d be cool with it,” you mumble. “The problem is if he is cool with it, and then the strings come anyway. The friendship is nice. I’m attracted to him, yeah, fine. But I can ignore it if it means I get to be his friend.”

Theres a long pause on the line, and then Rina sighs.

“Your life would be a lot easier if you could do one night stands,” she says.

Don’t you know it. 

“Yeah.”

“I’ve gotta go, okay? Text me. Keep me updated on life.” You read between the lines. On Yoongi, she means. “I love you.”

“Mmmhh,” you mumble back, still burying your face into your laundry. 

When the line disconnects, you feel considerably more twitchy and irritable than you did before talking to Rina.

So, you’re attracted to Yoongi. Or you were, when you were drunk and he was all… hot and considerate. That doesn’t mean you have to act on it! You’re not going to act on it. You’re just pent up, that’s all. It’s been a long time since you’ve had an orgasm, self-inflicted or otherwise, and you can’t think straight.

Maybe you should fix that.

It’s clear you’re giving up on laundry for the night, so you shove the mountain of clothes back into the basket on the floor, sighing as you lay back on your bed.

You feel only slightly ridiculous as you shimmy your sleep shorts down your thighs, your hands sliding up your shirt to cup your breasts, squeezing slightly. Warming yourself up.

You quickly decide to get to the point, though. You’re struggling to immerse yourself in the fantasy that usually does the trick, too wound up and embarrassed (as if it’s not you in here by yourself, as usual) at groping yourself.

Despite the embarrassment, it becomes abundantly clear that you didn’t really need to warm yourself up anyway. Your fingers slide through your folds with ease, drenched like you’ve been that way all fucking day, unbeknownst to you, and a surprised moan falls from your lips. Fuck.

Closing your eyes, you circle two fingers around your clit experimentally, making your hips jerk up under you, sensitive. You do it again, a little firmer, starting a slow rhythm that makes you squirm against your mattress, your bottom lip rolling between your teeth.

It feels good. It usually does—you’ve always been able to make quick work of an orgasm to rid yourself of any lingering jitters before bed. But it feels really good right now, your pussy extra sensitive tonight, and you can’t figure out why. There’s nothing new about what you’re doing.

Rina’s words worm their way into your brain uninvited—the whole time he’s talking you’re just agonizing over how he might fuck you if you let him—and you’re too turned on to stop that train of thought, flashes of capable hands and pink tongue (tonguetechnologytonguetechnologytonguetechnology) filling your mind, and you’re moaning softly despite yourself as you rub your clit a little faster.

You continue to make soft noises of pleasure, your tongue darting out to wet your lips, dry from panting as the barrage of Yoongi-related thoughts keep coming, bringing you closer and closer to your release. 

Dark, dark eyes looking down at you. A delicate chain dangling above your face. You whimper, your fingers sliding down from your clit to sink into your pussy, curling up to rub at your inner walls. A thick cock sliding into you, filling you so deliciously.

You pump your fingers fast and desperate as you get closer and closer to that sweet edge. You wonder what Yoongi would sound like if he was the one fucking into you right now. Would he moan in your ear in that gravelly voice of his? He’s a man of few words. Would he be like that in bed, too? Would he call you sweet names? Not so sweet? Which ones?

Your walls flutter around your fingers, your hips stuttering up off the mattress as your orgasm crashes over you and you gasp out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

You stare up at the ceiling for a minute panting. The high of your release buzzes pleasantly through your body before it starts ebbing away, but the thoughts of Yoongi pervade. Well, fuck.

After another moment, you roll over onto your stomach to grab a towel from your laundry basket and wipe off your fingers, tossing it on the floor. You grab your phone, only to be greeted by a notification from the subject of your masturbation fantasy himself. He sent it about ten minutes ago.

When you tap it open, you’re greeted with a photo (!!!) of Yoongi holding your gift next to his head, the hand wrapped around the neck of the whiskey bottle almost dwarfed by its sheer size. A testament to the ridiculousness of it, because you’re well aware of how long Yoongi’s fingers are. There’s a lazy smirk on his face, and a mole that you’re just now noticing on his right cheek.

[8:23] Yoongi: Cute. 

Yep. Yep. Cool.

You swipe out, tapping on Rina’s contact.

[8:35] You: okay. i want to fuck him. 

[8:35] Rina: 🥂🥳🎉

Shit.

✧ shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this chapter! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

@dollfaceksj @jajabro

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[welcometololaland]

WIP WORKING WEEK DAY 5: NOT NOW BUT SOON AKA. 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU AU (going to have to re-do this banner because i changed the fic name oops) The last day of WIP working week - thanks for supporting my little snippets! It's been a fun challenge! I'm doubling this up as my WIP Wednesday, so thank you to @catanisspicy @alrightbuckaroo @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom @cha-melodius and @three-drink-amy for the tags!

TK stakes out in front of Carlos’ dorm building for almost two days straight, to no avail. At one point he does a stint of five, incredibly boring hours until his phone dies. People keep giving him weird looks, but he remains unperturbed until his stomach is rumbling so loudly it can’t be ignored and he has nothing better to do than watch two pigeons scuttle about on the concrete in what he assumes is a weird mating dance. 

Vaguely, he wonders whether he’s doing a similar thing. Nothing he’s doing right now makes much sense, and yet he’s desperate to make it up to Carlos in a way he can’t quite rationalise. As he watches one pigeon persistently try to escape the attentions of the other, he can’t help but draw some parallels.

On Friday, TK is surprised to see Carlos in his Roman Political Thought seminar. Not in the least because he’s half convinced that Carlos hasn’t been outside of his room or eaten for two days.

“Where have you been?” TK asks, leaning over the two-person table Carlos has opted for. The blond guy in a Ralph Lauren polo shirt sitting next to him gives TK a weird look, which TK pointedly ignores. 

“Why is that any of your business?” Carlos counters coolly. 

“I’ve been trying to find you,” TK hisses, wishing he could stop time as the professor clears his throat pointedly.

Carlos arches an eyebrow in TK's direction. “You seemed too busy to talk last time,” he points out. “Didn’t feel like a priority.”

“It’s not like—”

“Please take your seats,” the professor interjects in a stern voice, and when TK turns around he’s met with a very stony expression. He tries to look appropriately apologetic as he shuffles off towards a nearby desk. The existing occupant – a girl with a dark braid – sighs pointedly as he sits down.

“Good morning to you too,” he mutters under his breath. She scowls at him and flips her braid over her shoulder.

The seminar proceeds as usual, albeit seeming to pass with agonising slowness, and one hour into the session the professor lets them take a five minute break. TK looks up to see if Carlos is interested in continuing their terse conversation, but he walks quickly from the room before TK can really get a handle on the situation. He half-rises out of his seat to follow, before the girl next to him groans.

“Dude,” she interjects, drawing his attention. “Take a hint. He’s not interested.”

TK grits his teeth and looks at her sharply. “He’s my friend,” he argues. “I just did something to piss him off.”

“Then let him cool down,” she says insistently. “It’s never a good idea to try and corner someone when they’re in that kind of mood. You’ll only make them more likely to lash out.”

There’s something in her voice – a blunt kind of honesty – that gives TK pause for thought. He sits back down in the chair and turns to her, watching as her fingers fly over the keyboard of her laptop. 

“I’m TK,” he blurts out, unsure why he feels indebted to this stranger. He watches as her fingers pause for a moment, then fall onto the edge of the computer as she sighs.

“Nancy,” she replies wryly, giving him a once over. “I recognise you from my biology classes. Don’t ask me to be your partner in any group assignments, just because you know my name.”

I'll leave an open tag for anyone who would like to participate, and maybe add @goodways @ramblingdisaster73 @detective-giggles @rosedavid @jesuisici33 @orchidscript @ambiguouspenny @freneticfloetry @basilsunrise and @beautifulhigh assuming you haven't already done it :)

[eventinelysplayground]

Astronomy Lesson

Happy Birthday @fang-and-feather! I wrote this for you as a birthday present so I hope you enjoy! I have not finished Isaac's route as an FYI but he's the one I had the idea for. I hope that you have a wonderful day! Isaac finds out Mitsuki's birthday is soon and wants her first birthday with him to be special but he has no idea what to get for her. WC approx 1215.

Isaac was in his room pacing and twirling a lock of his hair. Things had started out fine that morning but before breakfast was over everything had been thrown off kilter.

***Flashback***

“ You seem a bit distracted Ma Cherie , is something the matter?”

“Oh not really. I was just thinking about my birthday and…”

“Your birthday!?”

Several of the residents spoke at once, some nearly spilling coffee or choking on their food. Mitsukis eyes darted between them all before she hesitantly spoke again.

“Yes, my birthday is on Wednesday. I guess we never talked about it before now.”

“Well we must do something special for the occasion, though three days isn't really a lot of time.”

“I don't need anything special done Sebastian really! I was just thinking about it, that's all. I'm happy enough just to get to spend the day with all of you.”

***Flashback ends***

Isaac had stopped listening at that point his mind was too occupied with a dozen thoughts at once. Like how had he never thought to ask Mitsuki when her birthday was, would she be upset she couldn't be with her family and friends? Were they all going to have a party, what was he going to get her!?Issac had spent the day completely distracted, even during his lectures he found it hard to keep focus. That's how he found himself now pacing his room well after midnight still trying to think.

“Newt!”

“Ahhh!”

Arthur's sudden appearance in Isaac's room caught him completely off guard and he stared wide eyed for a moment.

“When? Why are you in my room?”

“I did knock Newt but you didn't answer so I let myself in. Still can't figure out what to do for Mitsuki's birthday, you know I'm always willing to help you out Newt.”

“You, be helpful?”

“That hurts Newt.”

“Isaac-kun doesn't mean it. He's just worried about finding the perfect gift for Toshiko-san”

Isaac practically jumped a foot in the air before he spun around to see Dazai climbing in his window.

“What are you doing! I mean how even.. can't you use the door like everyone else?”

“I want to help you as well.”

“Come on, sit down and tell us what you've come up with so far and we can help narrow it down.”

Isaac was led over to his sofa and forced to sit down by Arthur who sat beside him while Dazai sat on the edge of Isaac's bed. Isaac looked between the two for a minute wondering if they could actually be trusted but finally he relented.

“Nothing.”

“What?”

“That's what I've come up with.”

Isaac covered his face with his hands and Arthur and Dazai exchanged a mirthful glance.

“Well Jewelry is always a good option, most birds love a nice bauble.”

“Or you could go to a restaurant, there's one that has a nice sweet wine so it's easy to enjoy a lot of it.”

“And there's always a good tumble in the sheets, most ladies enjoy that. Pair it with the jewelry and liquor and…”

“Out!”

“But Newt we were just getting started.”

“I'll figure it out on my own.”

Isaac practically shoved Arthur and Dazai out of his room shutting the door on them and their annoying laughter.The next day Isaac was no closer to finding a solution to his problem. After his classes for the day he stayed behind to think in peace, the last thing he wanted was more of Arthur or Dazai's ‘advice’. Though he had to admit that on the surface their ideas weren't entirely bad. Isaac was busy turning over their suggestions and other ideas in his head when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Head in the clouds again today?”

“Sir!”

Isaac looked up at Le Recteur who was smiling down at him.

“You're distracted, what's on your mind?”

“Oh umm…”

“Come now you can tell me, I have a good few decades on you, perhaps I can help.”

Isaac let out a sigh and then knit his fingers together.

“Well you see… someone's birthday is tomorrow. I've been trying to come up with an idea for a gift but nothing seems good enough. It's the first time we're celebrating together so it has to be special.”

“I see, that's a very serious problem indeed.”

Isaac was too busy fiddling with his hands to notice Le Recteurs warm smile.

“Ahhh young love, you two remind me of mon amour and myself at that age. I don't think you need to worry so much about the actual gift, it's clear your mademoiselle is head over heels for you.”

“You..you really think so?”

“Absolument! Just spend time with her and be yourself, I'm sure that will be exactly what she wants.”

Isaac's face relaxed for the first time in days as he looked up at Le Recteur.

“Thank you for the advice sir. I think I know what to do now.”

Le Recteur patted Isaac on the back then left him to it.

Mitsukis birthday party went off without a hitch. Even with the limited amount of time Sebastian had managed to pull off a wonderful cake and many dishes from her home. The other residents had also gotten her various presents all of which she seemed at and thanked them for. When it was Isaac's turn he handed her a bouquet, telling her it was just something for now until she could get her actual present later which garnered no end of teasing from Arthur and Dazai making both of them blush.

The party was well over when Isaac knocked on Mitsukis bedroom door. She opened it and he shyly offered her his hand asking for her to come with him. Mitsuki smiled as she took his hand and together they made their way outside to the garden. There Isaac had set up his telescope along with a blanket and picnic basket.

“I I wasn't sure what to get you. You've mentioned wanting to learn more about astronomy lately so..so I thought maybe we could look at the stars together and have a picnic.”

Isaac nervously twirled a lock of hair between his fingers waiting for Mitsuki to answer. She turned to him with the most beautiful smile on her face and threw herself into his arms almost knocking him to the ground.

“Oh Isaac it's perfect, thank you!”

“Really?”

“Really, I love spending time with you! What stars can we see tonight?”

“Over there is the constellation Auriga…”

Isaac launched into a small explanation about all the different constellations that were only visible at this time of year and adjusted the telescope so Mitsuki could see each one clearly. They must have spent at least an hour gazing at the stars before they finally sat down on the blanket to have their picnic. Isaac glanced at his pocket watch and noticed it was getting close to midnight. He reached out and gently cupped Mitsuki's cheek with his hand.

“There is one more gift I'd like to give you, if that's okay?”

“Of course it is!”

Isaac knew he wasn't very good at expressing himself but he leaned forward and kissed Mitsuki with all the love and passion he felt for her, hoping she could feel it tonight.

“Happy Birthday Mitsuki.”

[veryfuckingtrans]

Me a couple of weeks ago: i have to make an effort because even though it seems tiring, i enjoy hanging out with my friends

Me now: i genuinely have no desire to see anyone now. I just want to be in the countryside with music or an audiobook just fucking chopping wood or something

Like this friend who i hung out said he wanted to meet again and i do want to say yes (even though i have no actual desire to see him? Like in theory i enjoy being with him and i want to see him again. In practice i don't feel like it) but if i say yes i have to decide a day AND i have to clarify that we're hanging out as friends because he said he had a crush on me. And i just don't know how to clarify that without being awkward or rude.

Then this other friend texted me and i haven't seen them in forever and last time they asked me to help them move but i had an exam at the time they were moving so i just visited them when they were done. I really want to spend more time with them because they are very lovely (i did want to text them at some point because they're always the one reaching out and i want them to know i do appreciate their friendship and i love hanging out with them but i never got around to it). In theory it's very cool they talked to me again and i'd love to go help them with whatever. In practice i am exhausted.

And this other friend who flaked out twice and then when she said she could see me i was like "i have to run some errands so it's not a good moment" (like i had to go to three different places and i didn't know how long each would take) and she's going through a lot right now, so i want to see her to try and talk to her. So i said we should hang out this weekend and she said maybe.

Tomorrow i have to go to the office and then i have therapy so i will maybe have an hour or two of time before i go to bed.

Then on wednesday i have to prepare my lunch for thursday and probably do the dishes or clean something because the kitchen is filthy.

I'm just running from one thing to the next and i'm very tired but i never get any actual rest. Because on the weekend i want to go to the country, but that's two hours of public transport each way and not much rest. Mentally it's great, but physically it's tiring.

Tomorrow i'll try and bring this up during therapy, like i'm just overbooked with socialising. Now that i don't have the excuse anymore of "oh i'm just too busy to hang out i'm working/studying 60 hours a week" i feel like i have to be social again but it's just too fucking exhausting and i'm spreading myself too thin

Anyways i'll try and get some sleep before i have to do my shitty job in front of people tomorrow. I can stand this bullshit when i'm home and i can be looking at a different screen or i can stand up every few minutes but when i'm in the office? And my boss is sitting directly across me?? Just shoot me in the leg, it'll be less painful.

[mephestopheles]

I do this to myself. I have been on T for 8 years, have been fighting with Montreal for the last 6 years to get top surgery with no luck and maybe 40 lbs in total actually gone. I am kind of tired of needles, and since 2022 I've been a bit lax in remembering to take my T on time. I'm supposed to take it weekly, I'll do that for a few weeks then forget to take it, and because ADHD and executive dysfunction like to fuck around it usually takes between 3 and 5 business days for me to get sorted. Which if anyone understands hormones and dysphoria screws up the next bit of my days until things settle out again.

I took my shot last night, six days late, and I'm mentally a bit wobbly. My dysphoria isn't cut and dry, it's mostly a vague feeling of unease, an overall feeling of "why bother" and then super obnoxious sensitivity and anger. By tomorrow I'll be okay, but because I waited, this is what happens.

I don't need to wait, I could have easily done the shot any day, but I've crafted weird rules, like: can't take it Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, that will screw up any blood work I need, as levels are checked after 72 hours (nevermind that Monday is available for blood work, but I have clinic on Mondays and that is too much planning)

Saturday doesn't work because Saturdays are too planned with getting groceries and cleaning. Sunday is Good, but has to be in the evening only. Monday is good but if I don't set it up before I get settled, I'm not going to do it. And Tuesday is practically Wednesday.

The problem is when I'm consistent, inside my head feels much better, the adhd is slightly worse, but I feel better. But I forget that because it takes at least four days before things are still off, and then it's another three before they feel better again.

This feeling fucks up a lot of things, how I interact with folks, how I interpret their actions, how I interpret my own. And hell even how I manage hobbies and doing things I like to do.

Which is probably why trying to make cards this weekend went so poorly. It felt like pushing through muck. I was literally playing with stamps and I felt so gross and stupid the entire time. I need to figure out how to give myself the grace to fuck up playing with a hobby I ostensibly enjoy, and push through the shitty feelings to find the sense of accomplishment on the other side of it.

[deberiaestarescribiendo]

Of Bad Beer and Summer Nights. #Writer Wednesday 04/28/21 Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: it’s just another summer day at the pool. Sunbathing before your shift starts, the day changes drastically when you cannot take your eyes off a handsome stranger.

Warning: mention of alcohol and swearing. NSFW +18 SMUT (oral and p in v sex)

Paring: Javier Peña x F! reader

A/N: Another take on the #Writer Wednesday challenge by @autumnleaves1991-blog !!

Not me basing all this on the label of the beer that’s shown on the cans and my obsession with Javier Peña and his ridiculous fashion choices. This is the first thing I write with a little spice on it and I’m still not that comfortable but we’re getting there. Not beta’d and my eyes are burning so I have read it just once so if they’re any mistakes, misspellings and bad grammar I’m really sorry.

Of bad beer and summer nights

The kids’ screams from the pool muffles the tunes of some old ranchera blasting from the bar’s stereo. The old guard of retire men gather around the plastic white tables drinking cold beer and playing dominoes and you lower your book, sunbathing under this blazing sun, and smile; this is your childhood, your home and even that you had convinced yourself that you were done with this, that you wanted to run away, this speaks to your nostalgia and the fondest memories you own.

The heat makes you lazy and your stretch your body feeling your bones as if they were made of jelly. You drop the book on your stomach; you were not actually paying too much attention to it anyway and look around the pool: kids running around with water guns, angry mothers trying to control them and the men on the bar. Usually they’re around 70 or plus on average, they occupy their usual spot under the parasols early in the morning and spend their time doing their retirement routine: newspaper, same old conversation and complain about the world, beer and dominoes, until it’s time to eat or to switch their drink to coffee. But today a tall, lean, brown haired man is breaking the age median. He’s younger and stands out not only for his strong physic but because he wears a bright pink shirt and some yellow aviators and the tightest jeans you’ve seen on a man. You’re sure you’d question anybody else’s fashion choice if they were wearing that, but surprisingly, it fits him, probably because he exudes confidence, maybe it’s his broad shoulders, maybe it’s his golden skin revealed by the way–too-much-unbuttoned shirt he wears, maybe it’s his dark hair or his striking features or maybe it’s because of his dark coffee brown eyes that are fixed on you. His eyes. Shit.

You were so absorbed looking at him that you didn’t realize he had taken off his glasses and it’s now seated facing the pool and you from the bar. He smirks when you try, ungracefully, to grab your book back, the paper is stuck to your skin since you had spread it generously with tanning oil. The pages are ruined but you actually don’t care, you just open it before your eyes and try to conceal that you were looking at him like a creep. After a few minutes, you raise the novel just enough to see if he's looking but he's gone. Disappointed, you turn to the other side and let the sun bronze your skin and achieve that serene state that you had before he arrived at the pool.

"Hey, you, burnt sloth, it's time" somebody pokes on your shoulder

"Burnt sloth, seriously?" You say, you feel your mouth is dry and your brain is slowly coming back to life "it's my shift already?"

"Yep, actually you're two minutes late" Marisa grabs the elastic of your bikini bottom and pulls it and lets it go until it slaps your skin

"Ouch! I'm coming" you finally get up

"C'mon, Mr. Garcia has joined the party at the bar, and you'll be late for his speech on the loss of traditional family values" she announces. You glance at the other side of the pool, the old man walks with difficulty towards his retired friends table

"Shit, you do it on purpose" you say and Marisa smirks "my shift always starts when there's one of the annoying customers time to arrive, that's not fair"

"Is there anybody attending the bar?!" You both turn to see Mr. Garcia raising his cane and screaming at you

"I'm coming" you answer, grabbing your jean shorts and the white shirt with staffwritten on it. You toss your clothes on over your bikini and run towards the bar.

"Sorry, Mr. Garcia, the usual?" You ask while tying up your apron

"Yes, please. This is what's wrong with this country now the youth has lost the will to work hard to really make an effort…"

Even his friends roll their eyes, but you know it will be a minute until he finishes the list of bad things he wants to rant about.

Marisa has occupied your deck chair and winks at you while she spreads her sun cream. Bitch you mutter towards her and she smiles and lays back.

The rest of your shift consists in ignoring Mr. Garcia and looking at Marisa with jealousy. When the sun is almost gone she joins you on the counter.

"I'll have until Jack comes to pick me up, I thought you needed some company" she says bending herself over the bar to grab a glass

"Yeah, now that they're about to leave, how convenient" you point to the old men table "what do you want?"

"Beer please"

You take two ice cold cans and serve hers on her glass while you keep yours under the wood counter

“Tomorrow you will take my shift by the way" you say leaning on the fridge

"Nope" she says having a sip of her drink

"You wanna bet?" You counter knowing that she likes to play. She thinks about it for a second but when you open the cards box and leave the deck in front of her she nods

"Just for tomorrow though" Marisa shakes your hand and you distribute the cards between you two.

You try to focus on the game, she's better than you and you really don't want to take another shift like this. But all your concentration leaves your body once you see out of the corner of your eyes, a pink bright shirt and a tall figure.

"Hi, are you ready Pops?" He says, his voice is deep while he gently taps on one of the old men at the table

"No, give me a minute, I'm actually winning for once" he says laying one of the domino pieces on the table

"Right" he smiles warmly at him and you think he couldn't be more handsome but he actually approach the counter and now, looking at him closer he’s even more attractive

“Can I have a beer please?” he asks taking a seat on a stool. You nod and grab one from the fridge.

He examines the golden can with an arched eyebrow “Don’t you have a bud?”

“No, we only have calidad (quality) and let me warn you that the title is actually ironic” you answer, for a second you hope he doesn’t actually get mad at your little joke but he smiles widely “I trust you then, I won’t take my chances with this so... can I have a whiskey then?” he pass you the can and you turn to put it back on the fridge and glance over the bottles you have. All of them are the cheapest labels on the market, but you know your boss reserves some good old Jack Daniels well hidden and you crouch down to get it from the back of the utilities cupboard.

“I don’t know if I want that drink either if you took it from where you keep the cleaning stuff” he laughs

“Don’t worry, it’s legit, it’s my boss’s. He doesn’t want to expend one cent on the clients but for himself...that’s another thing” you pour him the amber liquor and you cannot help but notice that he’s looking at you intently

“You don’t serve whiskey often, right?” he gets closer and almost whispers it in your ear

“Why?” you ask and raise your head suddenly realizing that you’re really close. His scent is intoxicating, some fresh body wash and the musk of his cologne mixed with the whiskey you’re serving him

“Normally you will serve just two or three fingers” he explains putting two of his fingers on the glass so you can see what he means, the glass is half full.

“Shit” you stop pouring and leave the bottle on the counter while he chuckles

“Either that or you’re really generous or I’m and excellent costumer” he jests

“You are!” you respond right away and you clear your throat once you realize how stupid it sounded “or I’m a terrible waitress, I think that’s more probable”

“Agreed!” Marisa claims, you actually forgot about her

“I don’t think so” he shakes his head “You were really honest about the quality of the beer, you could have just gave me that trash and say nothing”

“Well, I’m drinking one while working, I keep it hidden under the counter and I’m gambling with my friend to see if I can change my shift for hers tomorrow” you confess, he looks amused at you

“What shift is that?” he asks

“Morning, there’s none” Marisa answers

“You actually cannot take that shift” he looks at you now

“Why?” you say puzzled

“Because you’re busy tonight, probably will arrive late and you should sleep” he sips his whiskey and you still observe him not understanding

“I’m not...”

Marisa smack her lips “she’s clueless”

“I see” he smiles again, that damn smile “at what time do you close?”

“She’ll be off at seven” Marisa answers and you turn your head from one to the other like you’re watching a tennis game you don’t really understand

“What are you...”

“He’s asking you out, dummie” Marisa rolls her eyes at you with a frustrated grunt

“Oh!”

“If it’s alright for you unless you really want that early morning shift” he looks at you from under his lashes and you don’t know how a man like that can be smoldering hot one minute and this cute the next

“She’s going!” Marisa answers before you could make your mind

“Wait, I have nothing to wear and I have to...”

“There’s a dress on my locker, the code is 6754 and I don’t trade my shift anyway, you don’t have excuses” a car horns from the door “That’s Jack, don’t take no for an answer!” she points to the man running towards her boyfriend’s car.

“There’s no pressure, if you don’t want to...”

“No, I want to, really” you say focusing on the stains on your apron

“I’m Javi by the way” he smiles fondly and raises his hand, you respond with your name and shake it

“Really nice to meet you” you say softly

“Let’s go, son, this damned dominoes are jinxed!” his father walks out from the table gathering a few laughs and jokes from his friends

Javi reaches from his wallet when Mr. Garcia raises his cane again “Don’t let him pay, anything he had it’s on me”

You look at him confused and Javier, for the first time in your brief acquaintance looks shy and actually uncomfortable. He thanks the man and walks to his father about to leave the place

“I’ll pick you up at seven” he says, winking at you

“Can we have the check young lady or do we have to do it ourselves” Mr. Garcia gets you out of your daydreaming and you rush to clean up and say goodbye to the old loyal customers before they leave you alone to close.

You don’t actually have time to do much, just shower and look inside Marisa’s locker hoping for the best. You find a white summer dress and some flat sandals that fit you, you try your best with your hair and the little make up you have in your bag. And you wait for Javi to arrive.

He’s punctual, arriving just on time on his pick up car.

“Hi”

“Hi” he has changed for another bright shirt, this time blue that matches his skin perfectly. He wears those yellow sunglasses and the same tight jeans and you cannot believe that you actually think it’s the most gorgeous a man has look ever. You staring more that you should again, how the muscles on his forearm tense and relax while driving

“We’re going outside Laredo, if you don’t mind” he says eventually

“It’s fine by me, unless you’re planning to kill me and leave me in the middle of nowhere” you shot

“No, I’m not planning to do that” he chuckles

He takes you to one of those big restaurants outside the city with live music and the best BBQ you’ve ever tasted. The conversation flows nicely even if you have to slap yourself sometimes because you continue to stare in a very obvious way.

“So, why did Mr. Garcia pay for your drink?” you ask after while “He never does one kind thing for nobody, are you a celebrity or something?” you joke

“You actually don’t know?” he drinks from his beer and he has a curious look on him

“No, are you famous?”

He makes a gesture with his hand “Mmm more or less”

“I go every weekend to the movies so it’s certainly not movies” you guess and you place your hand on your chin “Singing? Do you sing rancheras? it’s the only thing he likes so... c’mon sing!”

“You don’t want to hear that”

“Okay, so it’s not singing” you bite your lip trying to come up with something “are you one of those dude’s that do that thing with the lasso” and you mimic the gesture

“A professional cowboy?” he laughs out loud “No, nothing really artistic about my fame”

“Okay” you reflect on what he said and after a few minutes you slap the table “I got it! You’re actually a very famous mobster and Mr. Garcia owes you money, always thought he had some shady business going on”

“Do I look like a mobster?” he laughs

“No! I don’t mean it like that”

“But you thought about it”

“It’s just...” you stutter

“What?”

“You exude confidence, you look cocky and very sure of yourself kinda like you own the place when you walk in and people do what you say” you explain blushing “dangerous and sexy” the beer is kicking in harder than you thought and you lean on his shoulder “like you can kill somebody” his amused expression fades and a dark and timid veil covers his face

“Oh shit” you answer “ H-have you?” you murmur, he nods softly and averts his eyes

“Well, if you’re not in jail I guess you are...law enforcement? army?”

“DEA” he responds with a deep breath

“How...how does a DEA agent become famous?”

“I was part of the team that hunted Pablo Escobar” he answers, his arms are crossed on the table and he’s looking down

“Are you kidding?” you gasp “Did you meet him? Are you the one that shot him?”

“I was not even there when it happened and never actually met him”

You can see his eyes glowing and how tense he looks now, all confidence and bravado is gone and he finishes his beer leaving your date in an uncomfortable point

“I’m sorry I brought that up” you brush your hand over his, yours looking small against his “I was joking, I’m obviously clueless about dates and have a big mouth, I’m sorry again”

“No, no” he holds your hand between his warm palms “I really thought you’d heard, that’s why I wanted to take you out from Laredo where everybody brings that up”

You hold your head on your hands “I’m an idiot, I’m sorry”

“Hey, hey!” he takes your hands and brushes his fingers on your chin until you look at him in the eye “It’s not your fault, let’s move on, okay?” his thumb is closer now to your lower lip and you see his eyes lowering until he’s looking at your mouth for a second before he points to the dance floor “Do you dance?”

“Not well”

“Me neither”

“Do we give it a go and make a fool of ourselves?” he asks holding your hand and you nod enthusiastically

The people on the dance floor judge you when you actually don’t know the moves that goes with this type of music, but you’re laughing like little kids and you see how he tries to hold you every time he gets the chance, his big hands on your waist, and arm on your lower back that burns like the sun and when finally they change to a slow song, he presses you against his chest and you moan softly when he locks you there with his hands on your back. You reach for his neck and tangle your fingers on his nape.

“I have a confession to make, agent” you whisper on his ear

“Hm?”

“I was looking at you at the pool and hoped that you came back when you left and actually ruined my novel in the process”

“And I was looking back at you and came back to pick up my father when he actually didn’t need it” he responds, his warm breath over your temple, you smile openly and you think your heart could leave your chest in that very moment

“and another thing...”

“Yes?”

“I never actually liked guys with mustache and now all I can think about is how does it feel when you kiss” you hide your face from him feeling his laughter resonate on his chest

“Wanna try?”

You raise your head even though your cheeks burn and your rational brain in screaming that you barely know the guy but then his lips brush over your softly and they’re as soft as they looked, you let him lead you mainly because the sensation is overwhelming and when he gently touches your mouth with his tongue you let him in, you let him taste you and you moan, Javi smiles briefly over your soft expression of pleasure and becomes more eager, hardening the kiss. You don’t know how long you’ve been there but when you break the kiss your head is spinning and you have to hold onto his shoulders

“So?” he says with a cocky smile

“Nice, really nice”

You don’t want this night to end, you park alongside the riverbank in Laredo, he has put down a big blanket on his pickup truck so you’re comfortable seating on it and Javier bought some cold beer at the gas station. The summer night is clear; the moon and stars shine and are reflected on the black waters of the river and you can only hear the soft sounds of the insects and the breeze moving the grass.

“Can I ask you something?” you’re both seated next to each other, swinging your legs until you touch him

“Yes”

“Why did you choose the DEA?”

“I just wanted to get away from here” he shrugs

“You caused too much trouble? Broke too many hearts?” you jest tapping his arm with your elbow

“Why do you say that?” he turns to face you

“You look like someone who could do that” you murmur “Are you going to break my heart?” Now you adjust your position so now you’re both face to face

“I hope not”

You think over his answer, it’s actually pretty honest. You had had promises of eternal love and “never ever going to hurt you” before and then they left you with your heart bleeding and your confidence undermined. So you prefer this, the truth. Neither of you know what’s going to happen, there’s only tonight and that you don’t want to get back to real world. The river, the moon and the two of you on his car are the only thing real, they only thing that exists right now.

You arise on your knees and save the distance between you holding his head on your hand. It’s you who lead the kiss this time and he lets you savor him. He holds your hips and gently pushes you on his lap. You lower your kisses to his jaw and then his neck tasting his perfume mixed with his sweat that it’s the only thing you’ve been thinking about doing since this morning, he emits a guttural moan and you feel your arousal between your thighs. Your hands act faster that you can think and unbuttons his shirt. In the moonlight his skin is soft and it’s splattered in small freckles that you kiss trying to count each one with a touch of your lips.

He doesn’t stay still for much longer and raises your summer dress kneading the skin of your legs, up to your butt and your hips. He separates you from him and you’re about to complain when you feel he’s pushing you softly to the blanket. You lay down taking a deep breath while your gaze at the night sky full of tiny bright dots that reminds you of his skin and how you crave to have him on your lips again.

You raise your head once you feel him touching your calf, his fingers softly trailing over you until he take off your sandals, and when it’s done, he grabs your legs and roam his hands up and down on them until he pulls your legs apart. Javier gets in the space between your legs and without breaking his burning look at your eyes, he takes off his shirt and unbuckles his belt.

“Please” you whisper and reach your hand towards him; he takes it and kisses your palm before bending over you. The hunger you have for his lips is finally over when he kisses you again deep and moaning against your lips.

He mimics what you did earlier and bites your jaw and your neck, scattering kisses over your clavicles. He gets up an instant just to take off your dress and admires you for a second before continuing his kisses where he had left them. You bend your back when your breasts are exposed to the fresh summer air but are immediately cover by his big warm hands and then his mouth graze each one with the most delicious attention kissing and licking your nipples until biting your lip can’t contain your whimpers

“You don’t have to be quite, there’s none” he says liberating your lower lip from your bite with his thumb “Your moans will be only for my ears and I want to listen to every single one of them” he says and leaves a kiss on your sternum before grabbing your waist pressing his face on your stomach and again repeats the action of spattering kisses and soft bites to your skin.

Once he reaches the elastic of your panties he looks at you intently. You’re a moaning mess, squirming under his touch and feeling your flesh ablaze even if the night is actually quite fresh

“Please” you whisper again and he softly raises your hips rolling the lace over your thighs. The midnight air makes you shiver. He kisses again your belly over the tan marks biting gently your hip bones before parting your legs widely.

He softly tortures you avoiding your core. His mouth licking and brushing his teeth on each thigh deeper and deeper and before arriving to the center he changes his position to the other leg

“Javi” you moan

“You’re so beautiful” he murmurs, lying on his side he leans his head on your inner right thigh. He’s as gentle as first as he was before leaving tempting kisses on your mount and folds before opening your lips to drink of you eagerly. His moans resonate through your body as an electric current and your nails scratch the blanket bellow. You call his name like a prayer, the pleasure is uncontrollable while you hope for release, he slides his fingers inside you and pumps them upwards and then you are lost in his presence and in the night above you. You hear yourself scream, your conscience is far away.

He hushes you and holds you in his arm and you waste no time in kissing him again, a deep hard kisses in which you pour all your passion and your lust. Your hands act on their own and you reach for his jeans and force them down enough until your palming his cock.

Javi understand your needs and takes down his jeans and underwear rapidly coming back to the position between your thighs. Your eyes are locked on his body admiring how he touches himself and you raise your upper body to caress his chest

“Please Javi I need you”

“Lay down” he orders, his voice is lower now and you quiver “Impatient girl” he smirks

You obey and Javier grabs your hips and he adjusts himself towards your entrance. You open your mouth once he penetrates you but there’s no sound coming out of your lips. He mutters praises for you and bends over to kiss you again. Your tongues intertwine as he’s deep inside of you, burying himself inside and getting out again and again until you’re panting looking for that ecstatic pleasure.

You cover his moans with a deep kiss once he reaches his orgasm and you hold him there. Breathing the scent of the surroundings, your sweat and his combined, you stay there until you’re calm, relaxed, and exhausted in the sweetest way.

“Thank you for not letting me change my shift” you say after a few minutes

[thou-crusty-batch-of-nature]

The rise and fall of our love

part one | part two

playlist: broken by jake bugg

no.1 party anthem by arctic monkeys

pairing: james x reader, james x lily 

warnings: language, angst, fluff 

A/N: sooo im back with part two!!! thank you for the fantastic feedback and appreciation you gave me on the first part, and i hope this lives up to your expectations!!!! sending all the love xoxo

masterlist

(moodboard made by me)

"How is he?" 

"Y/N…" Remus began, putting down his quill. Your gaze never left the essay in front of him, refusing to see the pity that his stare held. Because that - that glint in his eyes, the way the right corner of his mouth lifted in a poor attempt of a smile - that was pity. 

You shook your head softly. How did it get here? 

"Am I not allowed to know? He won't speak to me or look at me. I almost feel guilty even though I know I haven't done anything wrong." 

"James is…"

"A fool." 

You knew he was trying not to smile. "Yes, that is the obvious answer. But he is still with Lily." 

Of course he is. What he said that day - or rather what he smelt - has been the talk of the school for weeks. People were staring at you in the halls, pointing behind your back - so much that you stopped hanging out anywhere else besides your dorm and the library. 

And James - he never bothered to say anything to you. It hurt more than you expected to, but you didn't let it show. I am fine, you said every time one of your friends asked. Then, you would smile kindly and change the subject. You would see them exchange worried glances - you pretended you didn't notice. Soon they stopped asking, and you stopped pretending. 

"Do they love each other?" Something in your pathetic heart broke at the quiver in your voice. Love.

Love. Never in your life have you heard a more overrated word. So much loss, so much damage made for love. Was it really worth it? The way your stomach dropped and the slight tremble of your lip, the ache that would just not go away - were these the cost of love? 

You lifted your head, meeting his gaze. He watched you in awe - as if he read the truth in your eyes. You felt the tears roll on your cheeks, hitting the parchments sprawled on your desk. You let them fall. He opened his mouth, then closed it. 

"I understand." you whispered. 

You got up, but Remus caught your hand. 

"Do you…?" 

You smiled softly. "Does it matter anymore?" 

He let go of your hand and you walked away. 

×××

"Hogsmeade, today?" Sirius asked as he plopped down next to you. He took a big bite of your sandwich - and noticing your icy glare, he put his hand over your shoulder and pressed a sloppy kiss on your cheek. You pushed him off you and wiped your face. 

"Bloody hell! You even kiss like a dog!" you retorted. 

"No, I don't." 

"No, he doesn't." Marlene smirked and you rolled your eyes. 

"Hogsmeade, you were saying?" 

"Yes - Remus and Lily are busy with their important top-secret prefect duties and James has quidditch practice, so it'll be just us. I guess you don't mind third-wheeling for a bit." 

"Can't wait!" you feigned excitement. 

×××

It was freezing, to say the least. You were glad you had two pairs of socks on, otherwise you might have had to postpone the trip and pay a visit to the hospital wing instead. 

"I don't sound like that!" Sirius whined, handing you and Marlene your butterbeer - you've decided to stop at The Three Broomsticks. 

"Of course you do, darling. And may I add that you look ravishing." you purred in your best impression of Sirius' voice. Then, you turned to Marlene and winked. "You are the most gorgeous person in here."

"Careful, that's not true." a voice caught your attention. No, no no no.

"Oi - Prongs, mate! Thought you had quidditch practice!" Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Got cancelled because of the snow. Hello." he nodded and smiled towards you and Marlene, then pulled a chair at the table. It was the first time he's talked to you in weeks. 

You didn't bother to answer. In fact, you didn't even look at him. The rest of your stay at the pub passed in a haze, with careless answers and quick nods. 

×××

Before you knew it, you were left on a bench with James, waiting for the others to "buy some quills from Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop", as they were in big need of "quills" and "didn't have any left to write the Transfiguration essay we had due Wednesday". Oh, if only you had Transfiguration on Wednesdays! 

"So… how have you been?" James trailed off, rubbing his neck. Ah, so that's how he wanted to play this game.Too bad. 

"Why, James?" you ask, gazing at the shops in front of you. "Why did you ignore me? What happened that day?" 

He sighed. "I don't know. I- I made a mistake. You shouldn't have found out, not like that." 

"You have some guts, don't you?" you spat. 

"Excuse me?" You faced him. That face - the face you dreamt about, the one you kept telling yourself you hated - you missed that face, you missed him so much that you were glad you were sitting down, for you might as well have fallen to your knees. 

"Do you know how it is," you started, feeling the tears pooling in your eyes, "to feel so alone that you find yourself crying without a reason? Do you know how it feels to spend your nights wondering why you weren't enough - what you did to deserve this? Even if you did nothing wrong?"

"Do you know how it's like to watch the person you love drift away from you? To watch that person become a stranger? Do you know how it felt to know that you wouldn't even look at me?" You were now shouting. "Tell me, James! Look me in the eyes and tell me!" 

Silence. You watched him trying to find an answer and you silently begged him to say something. 

"Do you love me?" he whispered incredulously. Not that. 

"Would it change anything if I said I do?" 

"I don't know."

"Do you still love her?" You couldn't say her name. 

"I don't know." He let his head fall in his hands. For the first time in weeks, you laughed. You laughed until your vision went blurry, until you felt the salty taste of your tears. 

"You know nothing, James Potter." you sneered, then got up. 

You made your way back to the castle alone. 

×××

"Guys guys I have the most amazing idea." Sirius came rushing in the Great Hall, managing to trip and almost fall. He quickly regained his composure and continued running as if nothing had happened. 

"That's new." Remus said while reading the prophet. 

It's been weeks since that night in Hogsmeade, weeks in which you've avoided James at all costs, despite his numerous attempts at conversation. 

"I'll choose to ignore that." Sirius glared at his friend, then continued. "Don't you all want to go for a dip?" 

"I think I speak for all of us when I say that I do not intend to die in the freezing lake on a lovely day of winter." You scowl, munching on your pastries. You loved pastries. (mood) 

Sirius smirked. "I'm glad you are all so joyous so early in the morning, but for your knowledge, I wasn't talking about the lake. My dear, smartass friends, I was thinking of crashing the Prefects bathroom!" 

That got your attention. You looked at Remus full of hope and he shrugged. 

"And how exactly are we going to do that? "

"Well, this is where our prefect friends come in handy."

"Lily would never help you do this." James cuts in. 

"That's why I wasn't planning on inviting her." Much to your surprise James didn't object. "You forgot about our other prefect friend - and I'm looking at you, Moony." 

You all looked at Remus who seemed a tad bit uncomfortable. "I guess - alright? But if anyone catches us, it's your fault." he pointed his finger at Sirius. 

"I solemnly swear." He put his hand over his heart, then winked. 

×××

"Looks like your plan to ignore James isn't gonna last." Marlene said while stuffing all the towels she could find in her bag. 

"I'm aware of that." You really were. You've mentally prepared yourself to spend the night in the same room with him for the past week. "Ready? The boys are waiting." 

"Yeah, let's go." You were to go to the bathroom in groups of three using the cloak, then spend the night there. 

"Alright," Sirius' head popped from under the cloak "we'll go together - Remus, James and Peter are already there. Come on." he whispered. 

You got to the bathroom in no time and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach. You felt pathetic - you were all going to hang out as friends. 

Marlene's hand squeezed yours - everything will be alright. It was your thing; back in the day, you used to do this every time the other would be anxious about something. You looked at her and smiled, squeezing back twice - I know. 

You entered and your mouth flew open.  You've never seen a more luxurious bathroom before. The "bathtub" was easily the size of a medium sized pool. Greek caryatids held the archways, and the stained glass windows reflected their patterns on the marble floor tiles. 

"I suddenly feel bad for not working harder to be a prefect - if I had known this would be my bathroom, I would've gladly learnt the entire History of Magic coursebook by heart" Marlene said, with a small pout on her face and her arms crossed. 

"Same here." Your gaze followed the sculptures on the ceiling and slowly fell on him. He looked angelic - the way the coloured moonlight caressed his face, the faint blush on his cheeks - made him part of the setting. 

There was no point in lying to yourself. You liked him, despite everything he's done, everything he's said, you continued to like him. All those comforting lies you've said were trying to cover the inevitable truth, the truth which had been well hidden somewhere deep inside your soul. Until now. 

You stripped out of your clothes, fully aware of his impertinent stare. You stepped into the pool, sighing in pleasure at the warmth of the water. 

"Wanna play anything?" you asked no one in particular. 

"Oh, we should play shoulder wars!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.

"I think I'm gonna skip this!" Peter announced from his chair. 

You looked at James, then turned to Remus. You rose your eyebrows inquisitively, and he smiled kindly. 

"I guess imma skip this one as well." James said, slightly disappointed. 

"Come on, Marls, we gotta kick some ass."

And so did the games begin. 

×××

You were trying, and failing miserably to keep your balance on Remus' shoulders. 

"Haha- losers!" Marlene laughed. It was your sixth time losing.

"Y/N, I think I'll give up now, before this becomes too humiliating." Remus said while getting out of the water and pulling out his book. 

"No Remus, you can't give up now! I know we can do this!" you saw him sit comfortably in an armchair, and something clicked into your mind. "You ditch me to read? And sabotaged me? Remus John Lupin, I'm disappointed."

"Take Prongs instead, he's far more competitive than I am." he smiled innocently. So this was his plan. 

You turned to James, and he got up excitedly. You got on his shoulders, and his hands tentatively touched your legs. You saw Marlene and Sirius smirking and you glared at them. 

×××

The score was close. It was the match point. Marlene was desperately trying to push you when you came up with the winning idea. You splashed some water into her face, obstructing her vision. Then, you tickled her and she fell. 

"And that's how it's done!" you shout, raising your fist. Marlene's head appeared from under the water, clearly mad. 

"That was not fair!" 

"There's no such thing as fair!" Marlene smirked, as if she was saying oh, really? and pushed James with such brute strength that he fell, taking you with him. 

He caught you before your head could hit the bottom. He lifted you up bridal style and you put your left hand around his neck and moved the other one from your nose to his shoulder. You stayed in his arms, not wanting to let go. You were gazing into each other's eyes, breathing heavily, when it hit you. 

You loved him. 

And he was still with Lily. 

You pulled away from his embrace, breaking the stare. "It's not right - Lily…" you mutter, getting out of the water. 

The others seemed all deeply interested in Remus' book. You could even hear Sirius asking questions about the plot. You turned away; James was still in the pool, in the same place, trying to make out the meaning of what happened. 

It wasn't fair. 

Life wasn't fair. 

<3

stay tuned for the next part and lmk what you think❤️

taglist: @futurewriter2000, @puppycat714, @booksbeforebois, @slytherinquill, @screennamealreadyused, @fific7, @with1love1anu @slytherinwriter618 @angelinathebook @mischiefsemimanaged @remibarnes22 @hxfflxpxffs @approved-by-dentists @hss20052313 @pregnant-piggy @marauderswhisperer @lumoscharlie

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Hurts So Bad... (Part 3)

-

The Week That Flashed By (Part 1/3)

Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: For the first time, Peter Parker meets someone he has no idea how to save...

Warning: angst(obviously), mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm, drug use, me just exposing myself

A/N- if you only see Flash as a villain at all times then these chapters ain't for you. Not a lot of Peter this chapter but it's integral to the story so don't skip lol

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe he was hoping it'd go away.

Maybe he was wishing for the best.

Maybe he was just disregarding and ignoring you completely.

But for whatever reason, it took Peter a week to finally act. A week.

In the grand scheme of life, a week is incredibly short. However, circumstances can always change the way you perceive things.

When you have an essay due, a week seems to fly by. But when you're waiting for the new episode of your favorite tv to come, a week seems to just drag on.

The normal, busy people don't realize is that when you don't have anything to do, and when you're so far gone into the abyss, a week can genuinely seem like forever.

And your week had been nothing short of endless.

You might've finally been done with the physical low, but the mental low was practically just as bad. You could exert energy without feeling like you'd drop if a feather were to touch your shoulder, but your brain was tired.

On the upside, no one bothered you.

On the downside, no one bothered you.

You hated the silence, but strangely that's what followed you everywhere you went. Deafening silence.

You wanted so much for someone to just talk to you. Talk with you. Even if they were lying. Doesn't matter. You just wanted someone to speak. To have some type of change in your life that forced you out of the mundane, redundant, silent cycle you lived in.

Flash Thomspon was your lab partner.

You'd seen him around. He was hard to miss. Always with his jokes and his livestreams. Forever with a smile on his face. Just like Cecilia.

You remember asking her once why they weren't friends. She'd called him obnoxious.

You wouldn't call him obnoxious though, just... loud.

That Monday when lab partners were chosen, you were completely out of it.

Staring at nothing, not making a sound, setting your head down on the table, obviously not wanting to be bothered by anyone.

So when Flash got to your table, he hadn't bothered you. He walked over, simply looked at you for a bit, and once it was clear you weren't moving any time soon, he started on his notes alone.

Which you respected. That meant he was at the very least a bit sensible, if not just lazy.

The next day wasn't much different. You still weren't up for doing anything and Flash still wasn't up to bothering you.

The day after though, Wednesday, that was the day everything changed.

"Hello?," you said into your phone.

"Hey, is this [Y/N]? That quiet chick in a.p chem?"

You chuckled at the beyond simplistic description of yourself. "Uh, yeah this is she. Who's this?"

"Flash Thompson," he responded. "Coolest guy in the class."

You rolled your eyes. "Mhm, and why are you calling my phone?"

"Well-" you heard a bottle open "-we kinda have a project that's due at the end of the week. And, believe me, as much as I love doing duo projects on my own, you need to do something."

His upfrontness took you aback, but not particularly in a bad way.

And besides, you were getting sick of moping. Your curiosity wanted to see where this was going to go.

"Um, okay. So we'll crack down tomorrow then."

"How about now?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face.

"No," you quickly responded. "You mean come to your house right? Hell no."

"Why not?," he snickered. "Strict parents? Or is the pole really just that far up your ass?"

You rolled your eyes once again. You really didn't have the patience for this. "Okay I'm hanging up-"

"Wait! I'll text you my-" Click.

You stared at the wall for a good minute in complete irritation after that phone call. You had to have lost at least a hundred brain cells during that small conversation. The last thing you needed on your plate right now was some guy giving you shit.

A notification on your phone caught your attention.

3069 Oak Street

"Oh so you text me your address and now I'm just supposed to show up at your door?," you scoffed.

-

In retrospect, ringing that doorbell was probably the smartest dumb thing you ever did.

When you told your parents you were going to a friend's house, they just paused and then smiled. Your parents had no problem at all with you going out. They hadn't even asked questions. Heck they encouraged you to go out. That meant you were trying.

But fuck them. You were trying everyday. Trying not to just take the kitchen knife and slit your wrists after every dinner.

When the door to Flash's house opened you immediately noticed three things.

1) The alleged butler he'd been rumored around school to have was nowhere to be found.

2) This was an extremely nice house. Maybe even nicer than Cecilia's.

3) And Flash's eyes were red.

"Yo!," he greeted with an obnoxious grin. "Wassup?"

"We literally just stopped talking like ten mintues ago dude," you responded as you stepped into the house. "And what's with the shirt?"

This idiot actually had a Spider-Man t-shirt on.

"Excuse me? This is drip in the finest form," he defended, hopping onto his couch. "So anyway, the project or whatever. What're we gonna do for it?"

You sighed. "Well, unless I was actually invisible for all the class periods, it's obvious I wasn't paying much attention the last couple of days."

"Yeah I guess," he chuckled. "What was all that about anyway?," he asked, to which you simply shrugged. He squinted at you, but then rolled his eyes and then picked up the remote for the tv. "Oh well, you're better now, right?"

You winced, but you were glad Flash still wasn't looking your way. "Sure."

"Wanna take off your jacket? You're not outside anymore y'know."

And that's where the problem started.

You didn't know why, but you could look over knowing you were depressed. You'd easily come to terms with it. But it was the small things in normal conversations that hit you harder than anything else. Small little suggestions that you couldn't hide it all from everyone. Hell, you couldn't even take off a damn jacket like everyone else.

"I'm fine," you answered. "So... um, about that project?"

"Yeah," he said leaning forward. "You got the instruction papers or whatever?"

You gave him a look, confused. "I never picked them up. I thought you had the papers."

"I don't fucking pay attention in that boring ass class."

"So what was the purpose of me even coming here if we can't even do anything?," you snapped.

He just shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged again.

Your jaw clenched. Cecilia was right. "Obnoxious dumbass..."

You turned to walk back out of the front door before turning back around. "Hey Flash?"

He looked at you and grunted in acknowledgment.

"Were you just crying before I came in or are you just high?"

"High," he said rather quickly. "Why? Are my eyes red?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Want some?"

"Nah I'm good-" But he was already gone down the long hallway of his home. "Flash?"

You stood there, waiting for about five minutes before deciding that he wasn't coming back. Great.

So now you could either go get him, leave, or just continue standing there awkwardly.

And due to your lack of better judgment, you did the most classic horror movie move and walked further into a house that you weren't familiar with to go look for a guy you barely knew. If I die, I die, you thought with a shrug.

Walking into the long hallway the first thing you noticed was the abundance of doors. You weren't a stalker, so you didn't bother to look into any, but you could've swore you saw a room full of spiderman pictures and newspapers through the crack of one of them. Fucking weird.

In an attempt not to succumb to your curiosity, you walked faster down the hall. You stopped in your tracks when you heard sniffles. Whimpering? Whatever noises someone makes when they're crying. Someone was crying, that's for sure. And you were also pretty sure Flash was the only one in the house.

'Walk away [Y/N]. This isn't your business.'

But of course you walked closer, and the sniffles got louder. Until you found yourself opening the door and coming face to face with a crying Flash on the floor in the middle of some gaming room.

"Shit!," he yelled, turning away and attempting to cover up his crying with obnoxiously fake coughing.

"Are you okay?," you asked.

"I'm high," he kept repeating in mumbles, desperately reaching for something. "I'm just high, okay? Fuck."

You watched as he continued to search for whatever he was making it seem like he looking for. You wanted to reach out and maybe say something, anything that would make him feel better. But you knew that probably wouldn't help.

After all, it never helped you.

"I'm just... really fucking high right now, alright?"

He seemed incredibly off, even with the squirrelly, rude way he was being earlier. Like he was just trying too hard at something.

You were at a loss for words. You knew it was wrong, but the only thing you could think of was, hm. Rich boy's actually got some issues.

When he finally turned around, his face was dry and he carried a bong in his hands, lighting it and practically shoving it into his mouth in a weak attempt to cover up his unsteady breathing.

"Thought you left," he said, staring at the floor.

Realizing you'd been standing at the doorframe awkwardly, you moved to sit on the floor, opposite to him. "Well, you kinda offered me some weed and then left, I think."

"I thought I heard you say no though."

"I did..." you gulped. "But..I still stayed though."

And now you sat here with Flash and his bong.

He sat back on the side of the chair, his back leaning against it as he blew out the smoke. "Wanna try?," he offered, holding the small object up to you. He didn't wait for you to respond before setting it up again for you and passing it.

Without a word, you took it and breathed the smoke in. You sucked it up and felt it fill your lungs before leaning back and blowing it out, letting out a small cough afterwards. "Thanks."

"Fuck, you're a pro," Flash chuckled.

You shook your head and shrugged. "No. Common sense just tells you how it works, I guess."

"I feel that."

You hummed in amusement.

And then suddenly it was quiet again.

You fucking hated silence.

Luckily, Flash was a talker. Or so you thought.

At school there wasn't a dull moment if he was there. But now, seeing him in his home, he was quiet as a mouse. Contemplative. Searching.

"Say something," you said, earning a confused look from the boy in front of you.

He squinted. "Say what? I don't even know you."

You rolled yours eyes, shrugging. "Look, whatever was going on before I came in here, it's not my business, man. I only said to fucking speak."

Flash groaned. "About what?"

"I dunno," you answered. "I just don't like the quiet. Say anything you want. Just... talk."

"Um.." he looked up at the ceiling. "I got some new shoes the other day." He pointed at the Jordan's on his feet. "My mother got it shipped in from where she's out on business in Bora Bora."

Something about the way he said it made you sure that she wasn't out "on business".

"My butler is out today cuz it's his niece's birthday. She'd be cute enough, if her nose wasn't so big. It's like the wicked witch of the west."

You scrunched up your nose, imagining a younger version of wicked witch minus the green skin.

"Umm, I dunno uh, chocolate chip cookies are better than sugar cookies?"

You snorted at that. Now he was just thinking of anything.

"And uhh, I'm having spaghetti tonight.. and- well I don't know what you really want dude I'm just kinda.. life is just too boring to always have something to say for every second of every day, [Y/N]!," he suddenly snapped.

"Woah dude, chill." You blew out another round of smoke and handed Flash the bong. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was asking for too much."

He held his hand over his forehead. "Nah you're fine," sighed. "It's just- you ask that cuz I talk alot at school right? Yeah that makes sense I guess. I-I'm sorry," he rushed out before going back to the small contraption.

You'd been snapped at alot in your life. Way too many to count. But from those experiences you gathered a small truth; if someone has snapped at you over the smallest thing, they probably have something else going on. Or most likely a couple of things, piled up and ready to blow.

And you could smell that on Flash from a mile away.

"Flash, what's your real name?"

He paused, lifting his mouth from the bong. "Flash is my real name," he lied before passing it back over to you.

"No it's not," you stated, picking up another bag and the lighter up beside you for the bong, no longer satisfied with the loss of flavor. "I don't pay that much attention but I know for a fact that's not your name."

He rolled his eyes, quickly becoming frustrated with the conversation. "Eugene."

"Nice," you said, contemplating your next move. "So.. what does Eugene feel right now? Not Flash, but Eugene."

He reached over each practically snatched the bong away from you.

"Eugene is feeling annoyed, and frankly aggravated because some girl he barely knows is asking too much of him."

"Hey I'm only asking for what you'll give me," you said, throwing your hands in your defense.

"Well what about you?," he accused. "You're always down in the dumps, staring at the wall, looking all depressed 24/7 so how about you start talking? I mean, are you fucking okay?"

"No," you answered blandly. "Not in the slightest. Your turn. What does Eugene feel, Flash? Is Eugene, quote, 'fucking okay'?"

Flash scoffed. "What're you trying to say, that I'm depressed?"

"I never said that."

"Oh fuck that, you implied it!"

"I didn't-"

"You don't fucking know me, [Y/N]," he spat out, throwing the bong on the floor, watching as you picked it up before the water spilt. "You don't fucking know what I'm going through everyday, so please don't be like everyone else and tell me what I am, okay?!"

Were you being rude prying into his life? Totally.

Had you reached the level of nonchalantness with your and practically anybody else's wellbeing that you really couldn't possibly bring yourself to care? Yes.

And was Flash finally cracking? Completely.

"Flash is fake. And obnoxious. And rude," you deadpanned. "I wanna meet Eugene. See how he's doing."

Flash scoffed, looking for a comeback. You could see the expressions on his face flickering like random. Annoyance. Sadness. Want.

You were no psychologist but anyone with a brain could see what he was going through.

The two of you sat in silence again. But you didn't really mind it this time. You were waiting. Even without actually speaking, Flash was telling you everything about him.

Takes one to know one.

"Eugene's aggravated," he finally said, his eyes becoming watery. "Eugene's fucking angry all the time because people only seem to want Flash." He gave you a bitter smirk before averting his eyes to the ground. But you let him. If that's what was easiest for him, then whatever.

"And people assume things about Eugene all the damn time so eventually he decided -what the hell- he'll just give em what they want. And Eugene's fucking pissed because he knows for a fact that if he were to just disappear, no one would fucking care. His old man would just put him in the ground and everyone would be back to normal before fucking dinner." His breath was heavy and you could see mocha skin begin to turn a dark red. "And most of all he's pissed because he's been able to hide for so long and some girl just strolls in and figures him out."

And now here you were just there with Eugene and his bong.

You'd lost count of how much you'd smoked, and you knew he did too. But it didn't matter.

Nothing did anymore.

Not the pressure from your parents. Not the endless cycle of running through all the motions without actually taking anything in. Not even the stupid project that was worth half your grade that'd brought the two of you together in the first place.

Life was full of nothing just in millions of various forms.

Things dressed up and decorated to seem all fancy and important but in the grand scheme of things were just was worthless as you were.

You looked at Flash's home and all you saw was fancy nothing. Wealthy nothing. And you looked at his clothes and all you could possibly see was nothing.

And looking at Flash, you saw a nothing that was attempting to cover up something.

But looking at Eugene, you saw something.

Sadness. Neglect. Pain.

He was completely naked to you.

"You should probably stop," he mumbled, finally opening his eyes and sitting up a bit. "You're looking at me all weird." He reached for the bong, laying it aside once he grabbed it.

"Is that a bad thing?," you asked.

"No," he responded with a small shrug. "...just scares me is all."

You smirked. The only resemblance of a smile you'd been able to make in a long while. "And how do I, of all people, scare you, Eugene?"

You could see his jaw clench. Could see him debating with himself. Even relaxed from the weed, his eyes still darted around the room, and he was shaking his head the tiniest bit. Finally he looked back at you.

"Because -fucking somehow.. you see me-" a tear rolled down his face. "You actually see me. Not Flash... You see Eugene."

His mother's words rang through his ears like a cautionary tale. Real men don't cry. Don't be weak, like your father...

But he wanted to be. So badly he wanted, just for one moment, to be weak and to be able to fall into someone's arms and not act like he was always okay on his own. To not act like he didn't desperately yearn for someone's compassion. Someone's trust.

Flash was fun. Flash was the cool, funny side character in everyone's story. Flash was the picture perfect of everything he wanted to be.

"-And Eugene's a mess," he let out in a small, quiet sob, his expression not moving, though the tears streamed down his face. "I'm just high... that's why I'm saying all this crap. I'm just being dumb and high. Forget all this. I never said anything okay?"

You wouldn't see him break. Not some girl he just met...

Regardless of how he already felt about you.

He slowly looked back up at your face, fully expecting to see pity or disgust. Instead, your face remained neutral like his, and you were crying too.

"I don't think you're a mess Eugene." You sat up straighter, moved a little closer. "Just hurt."

He gave a bitter chuckle. "Isn't basically everybody?"

You shook your head slightly. "No...at least I don't think so. Everyone goes through something- and then there are those people that, in some sick way, want to be hurting.. but with people like us.." You found yourself grabbing his hand, not even thinking for what reason. You just did. "With us.. it's real. And not some temporary problem," you whispered. "It won't ever stop."

Eugene looked back at you again and it was over for him. He felt small. He felt naked. He felt fucking pure.

And then it happened.

You went in for a hug and he went in for a kiss.

But he made it first... and you didn't push him away.

Feeling his lips on yours.. wasn't bad. It surprised you at first, but ultimately it was pleasant.

He sighed against your lips and you could taste the smoke in between the two of you. You hadn't had much experience with guys before. Practically nonexistent if you were being honest, but that didn't matter. Eugene pressed his kiss firmer on yours, and you began to reciprocate his movements.

He held the side of your head lightly as he pulled away, his face growing further apart from yours the slightest bit. He rubbed his nose against yours. You both closing your eyes.

"Stay here with me," he pleaded softly, his breathing slightly erratic. "I-i won't try anything, I swear. I just..." He sniffed and used his shoulder to wipe away at some of the tears on his cheek. "You really see me. A-and I see you, y'know? And we're just-"

You nodded, taking your hand to run through his hair. "Okay," you whispered. "I'll stay."

A small smile started to break through his tears. "Thank you," he mumbled against your cheek before planting a soft kiss onto it.

Your mind was blank. You couldn't think of more than one thing at a time. But you knew one thing; you wanted to be there. That much you were sure of. You still weren't happy. You weren't safe. Just content with this idea of change.

For once, you weren't overly sure of what you were doing. It wasn't routine.

For once, you felt like something was different.

----------Back on the other side of town-----------

You weren't home.

Peter had finished his patrol, swung to your apartment, and you were nowhere to be found.

"No. N-no please don't do this," he pleaded to himself. "Be in the bathroom. Please just be somewhere. Come on, get in here."

He'd already looked through every window available and he could only hope you were in some inside room. Your bed was completely untouched.

"I should've reached out to you. Fuck! I should've done something. Just please be alive..."

He waited anxiously to see if you'd show, even sending a drone to Cecilia's address to see if you were there in the meantime. "I-I'm so sorry I- just please! Be at a friend's house! Something!"

He didn't even realize how much he was shaking. How much your life was in his hands. If you were dead, he'd never forgive himself.

"She's not at the Gulliver residence, Peter. Are there any other places you'd like for me to check?," E.D.I.T.H asked.

"She's somewhere!," he yelled out. "It's one in the morning on a school night. Find her! Please...."

He looked back toward the window. After while he didn't even know how much time had passed. He was just staring. Waiting for you to walk through that door. And when you never came he could only hope that you'd be at school.

"I'll help you," he whimpered. "Just..please. Please just stay alive long enough for me to try."

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Lmao don't worry y/n won't end up with Flash and this certainly won't end up being a love triangle

Taglist - @eridanuswave, @imahardcase, @jules-and-gemss, @yetchann, @captainamericasdaughter, @starlight-starks, @everydaymj, @rubberducky-jrr, @chiaramrvl, @dreamofaprilsblog, @hello--zuko-here, @spidey-mads, @cuddlefishpeter

[caszscountrycraftsblog]

Update

Hi all,

I haven't posted for a while due to three issues. First up I have had the flue which sat me on my tush being very sick for three months. The flue seasion this year in Australia has been very bad with a lot of deaths.

After developing a really bad chest infection & having trouble breathing I ended up on several lots of antibiotics and cortisone tablets to get on top of it.

I am now over the flue thankfully which with having my flue shot late & the flue running through Australia early it didnt help me this year. Although in saying that I didn't get pneumonia so that was at least a posative.

Im still having treatment on my face which weve been travelling to Melbourne fortnightly which also hasnt helped with trying to stay well. Hospitals are not healthy places.

I am finally on the end of that so am now on Monthly appointments as of next month which Im actually relieved with as the traveling is crippling me atm.

We travel over 600 kilometers to my Accommodation so its a few days of traveling than running around for appointments.

Being patient 0 now since 2015 has been difficult. Mainly as with them never having done this type of facial reconstruction work done it has ment a lot of operations & appointments, due to trying new techniques and correcting mistakes, but on that note we are finally experiencing a win there and I should be finished by the end of October.

They are now also training other surgons in this area & working on other patients so knowing this is pretty humbling as others are now getting there pallets reconstructed better and are now having teeth implants put into newly developed jaw reconstructions which has come from me fighting the hospital systems here wanting a better quality a life.

So there has been many Nurses, surgeons, Specialists, Therapists, Speech therapists helping me fight to live and try to give me a better quality of life! For that I'm extremely grateful & lucky.

Some of my surgeons have also flown in from Canada, Germany, England & France with my Jaw Reconstruction work. That alone was a 19 hr surgery a team of over 100 people. I nearly died as my blood supply failed and because it was life-threatening I was operated in under 30 days. I also missed my youngest daughters wedding from my jaw reconstructions which I was devastated at missing due to the restrictions the hospital placed on me. She did look beautiful in her wedding dress on her wedding day though I will say.

For those of you who dont my history I was diagnosed with mouth & throat cancer in 2009. My life expectancy from my initial diagnosis was 3 to 4 years. Im still alive & have fought my cancer now for over 10 years & endured over 36 surgeries now! I was operated on 48 hours after my diagnosis so it didn't give me much time to process it & fighting it with every doctor and specialist telling me I was going to DIE made fighting it extremely difficult. Its also been extremely hard on my family & children.

From all my surgeries & hospital appointments plus operations I started crocheting & Knitting again, which is how Casz's Country Crafts was born in 2018. You can follow me & support me through Instagram at caszs_country_crafts, Facebook @CaszsCrafts & my website withFree Patterns & Wednesday Pattern Pics Blog, crochet & Knitting Accessories, Needles and Notions.

So come November I'll finally finish I hope & can move on with my life and living. Trying to keep a business running throughout this all has been difficult but Im managing to keep it their and Im looking forward to being active with my business again after all this treatment for Cancer and Cancer reconstruction work!

My Business is still alve thankfully to ALL OF YOU who follow me, purchase from me and support me. So a very big THANKYOU for that for without all of your support #caszs_country_crafts wouldn't be here!

Since January I've had problems walking, sitting and traveling which is my third problem. We finally know whats wrong which is fantastic but it too is goung to take approximately a year to get me on my feet again!

It seems I have torn a glute muscle from thigh off the bone!

Which 1 I keep tearing it with traveling, lifting and walking. At least I now know why Ive not been able to sit at my computer which I need to do to research and write all my articles plus my blogs.

We are now adapting everthing we need to at home, Ive commenced treatment but till my face is finished Im going to keep going forwards & backwards. As I'm tearing the muscle more with lifting and traveling, sitting & walking. Its definitely affected my daily life & very painful.

Im also trying to learn new computer programs to help in this issue plus where about to change my chair plus adapt aids so I can start redoing my blogs & articles. I carnt go back to all my hand dyeing yet but I'll get there.

It is at least repairable and if it dosnt want to cooperate than surgery again is an option to reattach the muscle. Im am hoping though Im able to win with a slow recovery and no surgery.

Where aiming that I csn return to work partime by November at least with all my Social Networking. Untill than I'll do what Im able as health permits.

So, as you see Ive got my hands full with a few issues at present, I'm not giving up so please stick with me with your support!

I'm definitely needing it with my Social Networking sites! Thankyou again too those of you who follow me here, on Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest & twitter! If your not on there please pop in and check me out as your support helps me to keep going forward!

Thought I'd update you all now we know whats going on. Have a wonderful week everyone!

Carey

Caszs Country Crafts

[sarcasticsidecomment]

So its been a really hard day, week, month, basically since midterms. The past two weeks have been the worst. Last week I had play practices until 8 PM most days except I skipped on Wednesday because of a jazz competition where we got back at about 11 or so. Then on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday we had our performances. There were two on Saturday and each performance was about two hours plus another two hours for before and after stuff. In my family we aren't supposed to do homework on Sundays (its a family/church day) so I have to wait until my parents go to bed or sneak stuff down to my room to do homework. This year I'm taking 12 classes two are APs, one was a semester class so now I have a study hall. Five are music so they all sort of fit into the same period and one is a before school church class ever morning at 6:10. Its a 20 minute drive and my family reads scriptures together before my brother and I leave. My dad is a lawyer and also has a bunch of religious responsibilities and is part of a volleyball league so he's almost never home. My mom deals with five kids, her own religious responsibilities and other stuff but she does way less than I do but always seems more stressed and I don't understand. As the parent she's supposed to be calm and understanding and ask about my day. Because of everything last week I was up almost all night Sunday-Saturday but I eventually went to bed in time to get about an hour of sleep. I also tutor two hours a week. I got four hours of sleep the next night and 11 the night after that. Because I'm used to an overall average of less than 6 hours of sleep a night (including weekends) and probably way less than that for just school nights, getting more than about 7 hours of sleep gives me huge headaches. Eleven really really hurt even after ibuprofen. Today at school I only had physics, AP Stats, Spanish, and music. but in the order 1 4 2 3. Our schedule is really weird. Most days we have seven classes and our rotation schedule has 7 days meaning that we never have the same class order more often then once every seven days. I was up until about 12h30 trying to finish a take home physics test that we had all gotten a week ago but I hadn't had time to start yet because I was working on getting caught up from everything I had missed the week before. I decided to take an hour nap because I literally couldn't keep my eyes open and I had only gotten about a forth of the test done. I'll explain more later, but this teacher gives really hard tests. I was crying (which despite all the crap and pressure I'm under I hadn't done since last summer) and I almost self-harmed again so I just decided to take the nap. My alarms didn't go off until 5h30 as usual so I didn't get any more work done. I got some done from the 45 min I have before school starts after I get to the building after my church class but before classes start but I was tutoring so I gave him some busy work a and worked on physics. This class was first starting at 8 so 3 min to the bell I went up. About 15 minutes into class, I learned that most people hadn't finished the test. His tests are usually really hard to show for sure that you have mastered the material which I hadn't because I had been distracted with lack of sleep and the musical. He decided to give the class until the end of the day to pass in the tests (which was very nice, but pretty typical of this teacher). He is really positive but not annoyingly so and not in a naive way either. Just being in the classroom really helped me to calm down and relax a bit, I almost started crying again from relief (my eyes still teared up a bit) but I managed not to. I didn't really get much done and really only figured out that I really didn't know what I was doing but he said that we could come in after school at least until 4 because he was leaving at 4h30. The bell rang and I had jazz. I only play one of the three jazz songs so I did my math during the time I wasn't playing. I ran a meeting for chorale council during lunch (I'm one of the presidents) them went to math, I'd brought in a pie for homework passes two days earlier and it had been in the freezer, it was the class favorite. At his point my phone was dead because it hadn't fully charged last night. I did my Spanish worksheet during math. And quickly wrote down a speech in Spanish about how I was the best candidate for student body president. I'm also really behind in math. Once I got to Spanish, I took my speech and turned it into notes instead. My speech went pretty well. And class was fine. I went to jazz after school and that went okay. Then I went up too Dudley's room. Two of my friends were already there getting help with the test but I think they were done and were just hanging out because Dudley is so amazing and calming. Ryley and Mackenzie (they're both guys by the way) came over and talked for a few minutes while I worked on the test. Apparently I looked really tired because they started telling Dudley about how I got about 4 hours of sleep a night and how I needed to get more sleep and about how much I do. Dudley said I looked exhausted. After they left we talked a bit on and off while I worked on my test. I didn't ask for it but he asked if I wanted an extension until Tuesday, which I accepted. I worked on the test for about an hour and a half until 4-ish. He looked over my test and said that for two of the four questions I had it almost perfect and I had the right idea with the other two. He told me that I looked exhausted, to get some sleep, and to take care of myself. I love my parents and siblings and I know in my head that they love me too but they don't notice when I get an hour of sleep or when I'm upset about an assignment or test, or when I haven't showered in two weeks (yes, I know, it happens sometimes, I forget because I don't have time) they don't ask about my day, or want to do things with me, give me hugs or tough me at all usually, or help me with stuff, or talk to me, or ask about my music, or really anything. Ever day when I leave its the exact same words- Have a good day. They're like roommates that ignore me most of the time. Dudley is just a teacher, but he writes notes on his student's tests when he hands them out praising their individual strengths. He knows who my friends are and what I'm having problems with. He asks how I'm doing and I try to answer honestly because I know he cares and wants to know. Yes he is just a teacher, but he keeps things appropriate and professional while still really helping his students. Family is supposed to help you but I feel like mine holds me back, degrades, ignores me, and neglects me. I don't blame them for overlooking me, it is just a fact. My friends act like siblings should, and I feel like Dudley acts somewhat like a father and Ewing acts somewhat like a grandmother. Then my biological family gets angry when I spend so much time at school. Well that is where I get things done, that is where I feel loved, that is where people pay attention to me, and care about me. Here I just feel like my rent is overdue. They aren't bad people, just distracted.