#i'm an absolute crackpot

[cellphishthekaiju]

I went insane, got sidetracked and instead of writing a theory on how Orpheus may also be Zerithmon's son, I translated his tattoos instead. Hadn't really seen many full translations and I think many are 'wrong' based on what little we have of the Tir'su language so... here I go.

I'm no expert in language, mind you... I can just match symbols.

Circular tattoo - A(th)'i'(k)aal : this is the only translation that looks like an actual Tir'su word, but two of the symbols are backwards, though my only basis for this is the symbol for 'k' at the bottom and the only other example of written Tir'su we have is the 'wheel' for Vlaakith.

EDIT: Githzerai write Tir'su 'backwards' to the way Githyanki write the language, so I re-translated the Circular tattoo and got the following word - Ki'thalaa

As you can see, the Tir'su on Orpheus's chest and the transcription of Vlaakith's name are the exact same rune... but Orpheus's version is backwards, which led me to the assumption that the symbol for the 'th' sound in Tir was also backwards.

The rest of his tattoos appear as utter nonsense, however... cept the back tattoo (we'll get there in a moment).

The rest of his chest tattoos are as follows:

Orpheus right diagonal chest tattoo - Htrm(p)ci Orpheus right pect tattoo - C(?)yc Orpheus left diagonal chest tattoo - mirrors the left, mostly: A(t)rmpci Orpheus left pect tattoo - C(?)yc Orpheus sternum chest tattoo - Ho

And then his back tattoo resembles an actual Tir'su word but, again, it appears as nonsense and I couldn't find a match for one of the symbols present.

Orpheus back shoulder tattoo - Aaw'(?)(th)

Larian, why does Orpheus have the equivalent of nonsense Chinese characters written on his own body... IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE ?!

If you want that theory on Orpheus and Zerithmon... well, speak up.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Crackpot Predictions - Only Friends Episode 1

Welcome to a new thing I do where I try to predict (*cough* wildly guess *cough*) what's going to happen in a show based solely on my read of the first episode. I'll try to cover all of what I think are the main story beats, record them here for posterity (and so I can either say "ha I told you so" or you can all point and laugh at me later), and hopefully by the end of the series we'll all be able to see if I'm a clairvoyant with a magic orb or, alternatively, a numpty with a glass paperweight. Some of these predictions are completely serious, others are complete crack, and some are just random thoughts that had the misfortune of wandering into my head.

With that, let's get started shall we?

The Hostel

Setting up a hostel for your graduation project? How cute!And with your best friends too? How adorable!

Too bad that hostel is absolutely Not Going To Happen. And not only is the hostel Not Going To Happen, its also going to be the site of some of the worst moments of your entire lives!

Prediction: is this is where it's all going to go down, this is where they're going to have the final argument, this is where the climax is going to happen, this is where shit hits the fan and then explodes. I mean why else would you introduce a building site if not to have all your characters have mental breakdowns symbolically in the middle of it? Scaffolding and painter's tarp is for screaming matches and for saying things you never meant to say.

Mew

Oh Mew. Soft, virginal, innocent Mew. Mew who lives in a completely different world to his friends where he wears cute pastels, gets a teen movie montage when he wakes up in the morning, gets a public confession like something out of a romance movie... Surrounded by people with impure thoughts and even worse intentions. What on earth is going to become of our sweet pastel boy?

Who am I kidding, he's going to be fine.

In fact he's probably going to be one of the few people who is fine by the end of this series, and will probably be at least partially responsible for quite a lot of other people being very fucked up (especially Top, sorry my man but you are doomed by the narrative). He's definitely doing to be hurt and he's definitely going to lose his honour student title and he's definitely going to have less friends by the end of this but he'll be fine, he's literally the only one in the friend group other than Chueam with the emotional maturity to cope with and process what's about to happen.

Prediction: He's going to lose friends (but not Chueam, she'll stick with him), his academic record is going to be messed up (but not irreparably so, he'll just have to put in extra work to repair it), and he won't have a boyfriend by the end of the series but he'll be okay, he'll be able to walk it off when it's all said and done. He may even start to get his man back (if he wants him, that is).

Ray

Poor Ray, he's a rich brat who clearly has some self-esteem issues and is whipped for his best friend. He's in for a rough ride I fear, especially seeing as he currently deals with his emotions by getting very drunk and/or lashing out.

Sand will probably be good for him (perhaps a little too good for him) in both bringing him down a peg and hopefully giving him the kind of ego boost he actually needs (no Ray you are not a burden but please stop ruining your liver) and I'm really looking forward to the development of their enemies to fwb relationship and all entails.

Unfortunately for Ray he looks like he might be a bit of a bleeding heart romantic on the inside so he's probably going to get his heart broken twice in a very short space of time; once by Mew and his new relationship and then once again by Sand and his refusal to play second fiddle and Ray is only going to realise this when it's a bit too late. Needless to say Ray will probably not be having a fun time for most of this series and of all the character he is tied as most likely to end up in hospital at some point.

Prediction: He's going to lose friends, he's going to fail his degree, he's going to get his heart broken twice and he's probably not going to be okay about it (but hopefully he'll be on the mend by the end of it all). Ray is going to start shit he can't finish and he, more than anyone else, is going to be a victim of his own actions but hopefully he's also going to be the character with the most growth. Sand might be around to scrape him off the floor at the end, but Ray is going to have to work himself out first.

Boston

Boston, what to say about Boston other than currently he seems to be trying to break the record of most men slept with in a single episode (his competition is Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk btw).

There's definitely a lot more than meets the eye when it comes to him and I look forward to unpacking all of his messy laundry when the time comes. He seems to be both incredibly confident with his life choices (good for him) and incredibly insecure about them at the same time which is fascinating and I definitely get the feeling that he has issues with Mew (to the point where I wouldn't really say they're actually friends) because of that insecurity. I genuinely wouldn't be surprised is at some point we get a lot of pent resentment spilling out from Boston about Mew because no one casually mocks someone they're genuinely okay with that many times behind their back.

Prediction: Boston wants but he doesn't quite know what. He is definitely blowing up every single friendship he has in the process of working it out and he's probably going to find himself on his own for a while too, which might actually be what he needs. That being said, if anyone decides to put forward a laurel at the end of the show though, I also think it's going to be him. I also predict no romance, but I also don't think that's what he wants or needs.

Top

Top the Top Tier player who's never not got his object of interest before. He likes casual sex, comes off as a bit of a sleaze (but at least a sleaze who respects boundaries), and is apparently looking for a new challenge now sleeping around has got boring (but not boring enough to not sleep with Boston again).

The problem for Top is that he thinks he's approaching Mew in his world and on his terms where in reality he's already dancing to the tune of Mew's fiddle and it's only going get worse. Mew's world has rules and regulations and things you just don't do (like sleeping with your boyfriend's best friend) and Top is going to find himself caught up in them. What's worse is he's probably going to find out (much too late) that he wants to be caught up in them. Top might be the big man now but he is well and truly fucked.

Prediction: Top isn't going to take his relationship with Mew 100% seriously until he realises he's already completely invested in it and at that point it's going to be too late. He's definitely going to break Mew's heart but Mew is going to break his ten times over and he's not going to recover easily from that. He might have a chance at redemption, but only once he's completely wrecked himself first.

Sand

Sand was just trying to live his life and then he threatened to pee on someone's head and it all went down hill from there.

At the moment he seems like the audience stand in: watching all the chaos and wondering what on earth is wrong with all these privileged brats (semi-affectionate). Like Mew he definitely seems to have himself together in a way that makes me think he'll come away from this pretty okay emotionally (it'll hurt but he's not allergic to emotions, he'll heal). Unlike Mew he definitely doesn't seem to completely together life-wise (i.e monetarily) though, which does make me wonder if our 3 friends (I'm not including Chueam in this, she's not a guilty party) are going to mess that up for him instead.

Prediction: Emotionally he's going to be okay (although he probably has heartbreak in the cards), in every other aspect I think he'll sustain the most damage (and therefore will be entitled to compensation). He feels the most like an innocent bystander and, as such, is definitely going to regret the day he lay eyes on the back of Ray's head. Out of all the characters, he's probably going to be the one due the most apologies all while having done very little to anyone else.

Nick

Wow well Twison changed when he went to uni, wasn't expecting that trajectory at all 😋

In all honesty I feel like I have the least to go on for Nick in terms of predictions (not that I have much to go on for anything else I've been saying). He seems to be completely gone for Boston already (oh Babe he is not a good target to fall head over tits for) and I like the idea that's floating around that Nick is already familiar with Boston somehow based off his reaction to their first meeting.

That being said, I am getting a little bit of a creep vibe from him (maybe it was the invasion of his client's privacy and subsequent masturbation scene that pinged the alarm idk) but I can't help but feel like everything Mew said he'd do if he slept with Top? Yeah Nick would actually do all those things and more. So yeah, while Boston is going to mess him up with their ambiguous relationship, it's only because Nick was pretty messed up in the first place and he'll end up messing Boston up right back with his clingy/obsessive tendencies.

Prediction: Looks like a marshmallow, is actually on fire. Things are going to go wrong for him but only because things were not right in the first place. Possibly the most likely to actually need therapy. I also wouldn't be at all surprised if he's the one to swing the bat that brings it all crashing down, in fact in this crack-pot prediction, I'm expecting him to.

The Friendship Group

Is going to be in tatters by the end of this series, I'm so sorry Chueam. (I mean is this even a prediction or am I just stating the obvious?)

Prediction: Mew and Chueam are probably still going to be friends (they seems like the closest to each other) but no one else is going to be talking. Ray might have Sand (and Chueam if he doesn't fuck up too much) but Boston going to be on his lonesome and so is Top unless they want to throw a pity party together. At the end of the show there will be a tentative reconciliation, but with the knowledge they're never going to be the same, never going to be as close as before.

TLDR + Extra Predictions

Mew: About to have the worst time of his life but he'll make it through, his pain is going to end up being other people's problem.

Ray: Poor, unfortunate soul checking in at heart-break hotel twice in the space of a few months. Most likely to get his man though.

Boston: Needs to figure out what he wants. Probably going to end up completely cut off from everyone but also most likely to extend the peace offering at the end.

Top: Fucked. (Might get a chance at redemption at the end if he's lucky)

Sand: Emotionally fine, financially screwed. Out of everyone he has to most to complain about and he doesn't even go here.

Nick: Most likely to need actual therapy.

Climax: A big argument at the hotel surrounded by the ruins of their hard work

Likely scene: All of them at Yo's bar they used to go to as friends but this time ignoring each others existence.

Likely scene 2: Boston unleashing a load of suppressed resentment towards Mew, possibly to do with their different lifestyles/world views.

Best chance at romance: Chueam

Best chance at staying friends: Chueam and Mew

Key theme: The importance of friendship

Me: happy to be proven right or wrong with these predictions and here for the wild ride regardless.

And that's it! As I said, these predictions are completely pulled from the air around a single watch of episode 1 so they're not at all serious. If I'm right yay, if I'm wrong also yay, I'm just happy to be watching, I just thought it would be fun to test how well I can predict a narrative based on very little information indeed. If anyone wants to share their own crackpot predictions I am more than happy to hear them, let's clown together.

[conditionaljewel]

This is gonna be a long day trying to process what the fuck just happened last night lol.

[bitter69uk]

"I'm like heroin. I have to dole myself out carefully. I don't want people to overload." Angelyne

"If you’re looking for celebrities, the easiest one to find is Angelyne. She started her career by erecting giant billboards of herself in Hollywood (corner of Hollywood Boulevard and Highland Avenue), New York and London, displaying nothing but her likeness and a phone number. Dialing excitedly, I was thrilled that no one answered the first time – the ultimate in Hollywood attitude. Looking like a fifties glamour girl gone berserk, Angelyne drives around town in a hot-pink Corvette, wearing a matching revealing outfit, blowing kisses to anyone who looks her way. She cheerfully responds to all comments, from “We love you, Angelyne!” to “Yo! Sit on my face!” Although she’s making a record, she’s currently famous for absolutely nothing."

/ John Waters from his book of essays Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters (1983) /

Born on this day 73 years ago: eternal grasping starlet, kitsch icon, pop culture oddity, cult figure and enthusiast of the colour pink Angelyne (née Ronia Tamar Goldberg, 2 October 1950. The berserk billboard diva’s origins were always shrouded in mystery until an explosive Hollywood Reporter exposé in 2017). Forget Marina Abramović – the most committed performance artist of the past four decades has been Angelyne.

[klm-zoflorr]

Okay, okay, so listen up:

Season 1 Jon listens to the tape Gertrude left for her remplacement

BUT that by itself is no fun. So since I cannot take anything seriously ever, lets introduce a complication where he is and will remain a skeptic for the next 4 seasons. Along with the OG archives crew. They see clear proof of the supernatural and shrug it off as "well, I don't have my glasses on/kind of foggy out there/i'm high/didn't take my meds/whatever those weird explanations s1 jon kept coming up with.

Nobody ever dies, Sasha escapes the not-them on virtue of being the coolest person around and doesn't stop a moment to think too hard on it

They see their boss holding a bloody pipe next to a corpse and go oh gee elias watch out theres a dead body behind you. He almost wants them to try and get him arrested.

When the time for the Unknowing comes Jon's just like, welp, time to go set up some C4 in a random wax museum as some form of domestic terrorism team building activity. He just thinks his WEIRD but not-supernatural-at-all job consists of standing around and go all the weird places Elias tells him to for no discernable reason.

Melanie is the only one who seems to be immune to this terminal brain rotting disease (well, except for all the other monsters). She keeps trying to convince them it's all real, stab Elias and save the world. They just treat her as another crackpot conspiracy theorist. It drives her up the absolute WALL and tbh it's starting to make Elias question his grasp on reality too because HOW ARE THEY THAT OBLIVIOUS IS THIS A PLAY WHAT IS THE TRICK

[beemers-hell]

Do you have any Doc headcanons??

idk what specifically you're looking for but like, for base stuff:

He's around 49~51

Cis dude, strictly Gay

Around 6'05"

Chinese-American

Apathetic as hell, but quite the sardonic jokester

Has EDS, part of why he has a tendency to avoid combat unless necessary, and does shit behind the scenes/has people do his dirty work for him. He uses a cane 24/7 but will use other aids if he's having a particularly hard day for his body!

Major conspiracy theorist, that's why he even started looking into the inner machinations of Nevada and The Machine in the first place. He thinks he's hot shit for being right about that!

Him and Hank were a couple before the events of the series, but things became difficult for them when like...yanno...Hank freaked the fuck out and kickstarted all this bullshit lol

He isn't like, evil or whatever, but he definitely knows how to manipulate the shit out of people, and absolutely will do so in order to get what he wants. He most often does this with other faction leaders and his enemies, of course, but he will put these tactics to use on his own employees if he feels the situation calls for it. This includes Hank, Deimos, and Sanford, though it's never done for severely malicious purposes! He's just kind of an asshole sometimes.

While he most definitely does have a very strong grasp over the fate of Nevada, he isn't super smart nor cunning, that's not what led him to stumbling into having incredible amount of power over Nevada's inner workings. He just got unbelievably lucky from his crackpot conspiracy theory deep dives and investigations. S.Q. is only so powerful because he's a super lucky nutjob, and the cards fell into his lap by chance (for the most part)!

Now I'm not saying he's paranoid or a control freak but when it comes to the people he keeps around him, dude has to know damn near EVERYTHING about them in order to feel like he has shit under control. He keeps extensive files on everyone of his employees, the factions he works with, information he's stolen regarding his enemies and opposing factions/groups, as well as any additional info he can gather from anyone about shit regarding how Nevada operates. His brain is a fuckin filing cabinet of extensive information about everyone he's ever come into contact with!

Nu Metal/Industrial Rock/Noise freak, loves Slipknot and Skinny Puppy!

[capt-t-leela]

why don't the new Futurama episodes scratch the itch in the same way that the classic episodes do?

I'm dashing this off quickly while my kid naps, so please keep that in mind when I speak generally and broadly and mostly from memory. It's also a very rough draft.

Classic Futurama had a pretty reproducible format that made it work from a story telling perspective as well as comedically and emotionally. The main source of humor was character driven - put a bunch of very different people into a sci-fi situation that they need to figure out and the conflict, comedy, and resolution will come together from that.

You could break the episodes down roughly like this and they'd all come together, with all of these established things paying off in the end in someway. Again, speaking broadly you establish the first act:

ACT ONE:

a. some big over arching sci-fi OR culturally satirical adventure / theme / scenario

b. an emotional conflict between some of the main characters / something someone is struggling with on their own and they need help with. This conflict is consistent with what we would expect from the characters and their development / traits.

c. a third seemingly goofy thing that was often played for laughs, but had some sort of plot relevance and helped drive the story forward.

Basically, in the first 7 minutes of the episode you'd get all three of those things laid out. The pacing is QUICK and it doesn't patronize its viewers.

Let's look at My Three Suns as an example:

ACT ONE:

a. delivery to the planet trisol - a unique and interesting setting that's new for everyone, not just fry.

b. fry is annoyed that Leela is so protective of him. Leela is annoyed that fry is being a careless idiot. Note: they both have VALID points here, one of them isn't just being irrational and easily dismissed.

c. wtf does bender actually do around here? SO once all of that is setup, we see the humor, conflict, and twists and turns stem from the questions all of these beats raise.

To boot, the characters work through whatever interpersonal / intrapersonal conflict in the context of the Big Adventure.

e.g. Fry realizes that his impulsivity has an effect on the people he cares about -- thanks to Bender's cooking leading him to drink the emperor and getting mixed up in another planet's dealings that then requires Leela to save him, despite her repeated warnings that he shouldn't be an idiot. None of this would have happened without the delivery to Trisol.

Another example:

Farnsworth Parabox:

ACT ONE:

a. the boxes with an infinite number of other universes. big sci-fi scenario to work through. with the potential for adventure! (big overarching adventure)

b. why won't Leela go out with fry??? they both know there's something there, but why is Leela so hesitant? what's stopping her? (interpersonal conflict / something emotional that needs to be resolved)

c. this episode spends a lot of time in the first act showing us key facets of the Planet Express Crew's personalities and quirks - how Leela goes about guarding the box (and her coin flipping, specifically), fry and bender trying to steal it and getting distracted (and Leela knowing what will distract each of them), professor being a crackpot, Hermes being a no nonsense pencil pusher, zoidberg being the worst - these are the goofy things that pay off because The Fighting Mongooses are our crew's foils and fun house mirrors and the comedy comes from their similarities and differences. (something seemingly goofy that helps drive the plot and conflict forward)

All of this is established in the first seven minutes of the episode!

Think about your favorite episodes, and I bet they breakdown similarly. Think about the episodes that don't land for you and I bet they're missing one ingredient (usually one, some, or both of the first two with the third thing usually being something completely irrelevant to the story).

Some Comedy Central era episodes that absolutely follow this formula to great success (not an exhaustive list):

The Prisoner of Benda

The Late Philip J Fry

A Farewell to Arms

Fry and Leela's Big Fling

Which leads me to my final point here....

IMHO one of the best Hulu era episodes is Related to Items You've Viewed, not just because I love me some Freela, but because it follows the formula. Momazon - tech company / monopoly cultural observation. Fry and Leela move in together, they have to navigate that big change together within the context of using Momazon. Bender does a Bender and feels left out, so he acts impulsively and runs away also to Momazon.

The formula isn't EVERYTHING, but it's a solid structure on which to hang lots of references and jokes and character growth.

Ok I gotta go actually like do parenting things, but there ya go. whatcha think?

[havemyheartaziraphale]

I just want to say thank you to the Good Omens fandom for making me feel welcome, and not like I'm pestering you or annoying you.

10-12 years ago I originally joined Tumblr and was a part of the BBC Sherlock and Doctor Who fandoms. I followed a load of blogs that were dedicated to the shows, but i never felt fully welcome except by a handful of people (two of whom I think of fondly, and one I'm still in contact with to this day).

However, there were some people who, no matter the reason, always seemed to be disgusted with people contacting them if they didn't have a large following, or interpreted things differently to them. On more than one occasion I felt like the hostility they showed me was too much (which, actually, wasn't even warranted) and I eventually slipped away. I didn't enjoy it anymore, and eventually deactivated my account.

And now I'm back, because I had to talk about theories, and what was going on. And I'm so glad so many of you have been welcoming and engaging and as excited as me about this show.

So thank you, especially to @somehow-a-human @gallup24 @lookingatacupoftea @ladybracknellssherry @lickthecowhappy @melbatron5000 @dunkthebiscuit

And thanks to @weirdly-specific-but-ok for allowing me into the discord and the maggot fandom too because you guys are nuts but you're all decent humans and let me pop in and out as I please

And to anyone who I interact with regularly and haven't mentioned, I appreciate you all too. You have no idea how great it is to have people like my #absolute crackpot theory posts

[the-fiction-witch]

Hysteria

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Smut

I stood kicking and punching my wooden door using every exploitive I know, 

"Father! This is ridiculous!" 

"You're staying in there y/n until the doctor gets here, this has gotten way out of hand"

"You called the doctor!" I yelled kicking the door again 

"See this is exactly why I called him, this is so out of hand y/n you're an emotional madhouse"

"Maybe I wouldn't be if you stopped treating me like a damn infant!"

"Ohh thank goodness your here Dr Dawkins" 

"Y-you called the surgeon!" I yelled

"I'm awfully sorry I know this isn't your area of expertise, but with the other doctor away I really didn't want to wait" 

"Absolutely, it's no problem Mr Y/L/n I'm sure I can do my best to help. Where is she then?"

"Locked in her room"

"I see"

"You keep that bloody butcher away from me!" I yelled 

The door opened and in came Dr Dawkins and my father in tow 

"Please sit down Miss Y/l/n"

"Fine" I pouted sitting on my bed 

"what seems to be the issue?"

Before I could even open my mouth my father spoke up

"Ohh she's been an utterly unruly doctor, shouting and screaming at me, sneaking out alone, causing all sorts of havoc."

"I see... have you been feeling any discomfort?" He asked me 

"other than being treated like a child and being locked in my room"

"Understandable" He nods checking me over a little doing all the usual tests

"I've been reading up on the symptoms I fear it might be... female hysteria" My father whispered almost afraid to say the very word

"Father!" I snapped "I do not have Hysteria!"

"Let the doctor be the judge of that y/n"

"He's not a doctor! He's a bloody butcher!"

"Do you mind giving me some time to examine the patient alone"

"Of course Doctor" 

My father quickly left and I just sat even more annoyed as he shut my bedroom door and continued doing little checks 

"I get the feeling, you don't particularly like me"

"I don't like doctors. nothing against you personally" 

"That's good then, I was worried I'd upset you" He smiled 

"No, I just don't like doctors"

"Any reason why?"

"Not so long ago doctors like you were throwing leaches around and saying girls should keep their legs shut so demons don't possess them through their vaginas. No Offence but I think most doctors are crackpots" 

"To be fair, most of us are" He chuckled "Miss Y/l/n. I'm a surgeon I chop limbs off for a living I'm not surprised people think I'm a crackpot"

"At least your honest about it, You don't really think there's anything wrong with me do you?"

"Well I have to bill your father for something, and he has a point about hysteria." 

"I don't have hysteria" 

"Do you even know what hysteria is?" 

"It's when girls are so emotional"

"No it's a bundle of anxiety and other such troubles that can really cause issues if not dealt with, people just like to yell hysteria because it sounds scary" he explained "Have you been having any headaches? issues sleeping?"

"A little actually"

"See, but it fine very easily fixed up," He says "Will you lie down for me?"

"Alright, but if you pull out a saw I'm kicking you in the crotch" I warn moving to lie on my bed 

"No saw, you just need a little massage that's all" he reassured 

"That does sound nice" I smiled 

"You ready?"

"I guess"

"Good, any discomfort let me know" he smiled setting his left hand on my stomach firmly but not pushing more settled there but firm enough to not move "knees up"

"Are you sure?" 

"Trust me"

"Alright..." I nervously did as he asked putting my knees up and setting my feet on my bed 

"Perfect, now just relax for me" he reassured his right hand touching my ankle and moving up my leg towards my

"Hey!" I said sitting up "What the hell do you think you're doing?" 

"It's a normal part of the procedure just stay relaxed okay" He reassured 

"I'm watching you Dr Dawkins" I glared

"I know, you're watching me" he laughed as his hand moved up and softly stroked the lips of my pussy immediately I gasped and glared at him but he merely continued I did my best to just stare up at the ceiling unsure how to feel exactly not being helped by the fact even looking at the ceiling I still saw him in my view loomed over me, as he slipped a finger inside of me it felt so nice his slender strong fingers moving to rub and push gently massaging me from the inside "Everything alright?" 

"Uhh yeah" I nodded sheepishly 

"Good, you have a lot of pressure built up" He says 

"I do?" 

"Yeah I'm gonna have to be a little more aggressive let me know if it's too much okay?" He says his massaging and rubbing now became much harder I did my best to bite my lip and not react to the feeling building between my legs the likes of which I had only really felt in small doses myself now feeling it building without hesitation or my own control, 

"It's fine" I gulped 

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah" I nodded

"It'll all be okay once we get this sorted," He says getting faster even slipping in another finger working them in tandem to send bubbles of pleasure through me by now I was really struggling almost drawing blood from my lip trying not to gasp too much or reveal to him just how much it was making me feel giggly. "Just a little more..." He says his fingers getting more intense 

I gripped my sheets in a death-like grip, my vision flooding with bubbles, my whole body shook, uncontrollably I squealed and even squirted on his hand and the bed as waves of pleasure washed from my curled toes to the very tips of my fingers

"There we go, perfect." he smiled taking his hand away and cleaning it off "That should clean up any potential hysteria but the key is preventative measures and up-to-date treatment" He explained 

"Uhhh okay" I gasped sitting up a little 

"Preventative, gets some sleep. Stay off the sugary treats. and maybe have a day where you loosen your corset a little"

"Okay" I nodded 

"And as far as treatment goes, weekly appointments should curve the hysteria." 

"Weekly?" 

"Yes weekly, I'll handle it till we know when the other doctor is coming back that alright?"

"Yeah that uhh that's fine, so I'll be seeing you every week?" 

"Every week, Pop into my office one day next week so long as that's okay with you?"

"That's fine Dr Dawkins" I blushed "I'll be happy to is uhh Thursday alright" I giggled 

"Thursday is perfect for me," 

"Good," I smiled nuzzling into his neck a little 

"uhh? You wanna get down?"

"Okay" I smiled 

"Alright, here we go" He smiled picking me up and helping me off the bed given my legs were utterly jelly "Now, I'll see you Thursday and I need to let your father know what we've done today"

"Ohh Uhh maybe don't tell my father" I blushed

"I have to bill him for something? Don't worry I'll keep your privacy" he reassured before taking his things "Good evening Miss Y/l/n"

"Good evening Dr Dawkins" I giggled before he left my room and I collapsed back on my bed "Whoa-" 

I smiled climbing into my hot steamy bathtub and letting it relax my body, but I didn't want to waste time grabbing my soap and scrubbing my skin within an inch of its life being a tad more aggressive than I likely needed to be but I wanted to make sure I was lovely and clean. I slowly climbed out and got dry doing my hair in a sweet beautiful style, getting into one of my prettiest day dresses and heading out.

I smiled as I waited patiently doing my best not to bite my lip or seem too excited.

"Ahh there you are Miss y/l/n" The doctor smiled as he came from his office cleaning his hands on a dirty rag "I was wondering when I'd see you" He chuckled "Shall we then?"

"Absolutely Dr Dawkins" I giggled happily following him into the office

"Here we are, up you go," he said tapping the table

"Yes doctor" I smiled climbing up onto the table

"Ohh before I forget," he said grabbing a pillow from his own office chair and giving it a plump before setting it on the table and tapping it invitingly

"Aww How kind of you" I smiled laying down and settling on the pillow

"Well this isn't my usual business so I want to make sure you're comfortable" he smiled "So? All ready?"

"All ready" I smiled

"You mind lifting your dress?"

"Of course sorry" I blushed moving my legs and my dress

"Perfect, It's such a lovely dress I don't want to damage it"

"That's very kind of you doctor" I smiled as I felt his hand moving up my skirt I did my best to bite my lip but not look too eager but the moment his hand made contact I struggled not to moan as his fingers found their way inside me 

"Ohh my, very tense today." He says "You been doing what I recommended?"

"Yes doctor"

"Alright, we'll see how it goes today we might have to give you a few extra appointments"

"More appointments?"

"we might have to."

"Well if you think so doctor" I blushed feeling the intense pleasure from his fingers until I bit my mouth hard gripping the table as I reached my orgasm 

"There we are" He smiled "All done"

"Thank you doctor" I smiled sitting up and doing my best not to turn red 

"Did you want a hand getting down?"

"Yes please" I nodded he happily picked me up letting me nuzzle into his neck as he helped me to my feet 

"There now get yourself home and I'll see you next week"

"Yes doctor" I nodded 

[biginkyboyo13]

Currently obsessed with the crackpot idea of a Wreck it Ralph sequel where somehow the original Turbo Time game actually was popular enough to get it's own line of games or something, and suddenly one day the arcade is upgraded or something because we've entered the era of Nostalgia and like, one of the new Turbo games is brought in.

It's like, also a Mario Kart clone, like Sugar Rush, and has a Punch out storyline where you play as Turbo obviously, and he has to defeat multiple racers to become the greatest racer ever and I'm kinda obsessed with it, bro is just a little guy in this world and he learns about what the old version of himself did and he's just absolutely mortified, but the others in his game probably vilify him for it.

Actually, this au sequels Vanellope would probably also hate him. Like, yeah, he's a different person, but PTSD is PTSD, Turbo literally tried to kill her and she wouldn't just move on from that immediately.

I'm going feral over this, it's stupid and I love it.

[cellphishthekaiju]

Sennar, the Dragon (Deranged OC Rambling)

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/23273

*Art used in this post is for approximation/reference of the character's appearance and may be replaced in the future with more accurate depictions

CONTENT WARNING: Heavy talk/reference/implication of rape, sexual abuse and subjects pertaining to gender identity and the like.

I'm back with more deranged character ramblings studies, this time with an original character for a sapphic smut short story I am, still, working on... part of a larger world I've sat on for the better part of a decade now (If folks would like a very lengthy lore dump on this world, comments/asks are always encouraging).

Meet Sennar, the Dragon.

Sennar is a female dragon of steel-grey scales that shimmer blue in the light. For her species, Sennar tends to be stand-offish and passive unless her temper is provoked or something of interest is presented to her (she enjoys stories and cultural behaviors & rituals that are foreign to her). Though identifying as female, Sennar is Rhaen (an Intersex gender identity) and suffers dysphoria due to how draconian culture treats and reviles her assignment.

*Ravine - Stjepan Sejic

Hailing from an undiscovered land far to the north-east of the continent of Aphrosia(where the short story takes place), across a seemingly endless ocean, Sennar flew for several days and nights before, in her exhaustion, crash-landed into a mountain range of Aphrosia known as Dracyn's Slumber. Not only did she suffer injuries from the landing (nearly destroying both her wings), she was also bearing relatively fresh claw and bite marks, having been attacked by another dragon.

In draconian society, males rule and females are nothing more than breeding stock to perpetuate the species (dragons were nearly hunted to extinction during a massive conflict they call The Fallen Eclipse, which led to their predecessors fleeing Aphrosia). Rhaen dragons are reviled by their own kin and few that make it to adulthood forever live a life of secrecy, else they be executed for bearing the 'curse' of the 'Betrayer God' Rh'ae (Goddess of Creation, Life, the Sun, Fire and Destruction and 'mother' to the dragons). Rhaen's, if not outright killed, are forced to go through torturous procedures to 'correct' their assignment.

Sennar was one of the few female Rhaen dragons that lived freely, as part of an exile clan. She had an unfortunate encounter with a young male dragon, that sought to add her to his harem. His claws gouged her flanks and teeth nearly snapped her neck as she fought back against his attempted rape. Upon discovering she was Rhaen, the male dragon left deep gouges over her groin in an attempt to castrate her. Sennar overpowered and killed the offending dragon despite the debilitation of her injuries.

*Ravine-inspired Dragon Bust by FABRICIO_BATISTA

Unfortunately, the clan's matriarch, an ancient dragon believed to have lived before The Fallen Eclipse occurred, feared retribution against Sennar now that her true nature was exposed and convinced her to fly across the 'Endless Sea' to find their ancestral home and live at peace.

Despite her injuries, Sennar made the flight and barely survived.

A human woman (Jorunn Fafindottir) discovered Sennar within the mountains and nursed her back to health, coaxing the dragon to follow her back to her homeland, Jormunheim, where the ravaging winter storms would hide the dragon while she finished recovering. There, Sennar learned some of the forgotten and omitted history of her kind and grew to understand the matriarch's fondness for mortal creatures such as Humans. To be among mortals that revered, not feared, her kind was quite a cultural shock... as well as coming to term with the fact that her position as a 'Rhaen' female was not hated or even registered as much more than a sexual curiosity.

Once the winter storms calmed and her injuries were healed, Sennar left to travel across Aphrosia, adopting the guise of a human. Though a shapeshifter, she could not maintain a total human disguise for longer than a day at a time. Most times, she adopted a 'half' form that most mistook for a Rh'xol, a species of mortals said to be the direct daughters of Rhae herself; partially draconian in physical appearance

*Dragon Girl by Giush

Before the next Fivulvinter came to cut Jormunheim off from the rest of Aphrosia for the winter, Sennar returned to the village with a sizable 'offering' (basically a dowry) to claim Jorunn as her mate. The previous year, the dragon had observed how her own people were only interested in her for brief carnal affairs and Jorunn's companionship had deeply touched and attracted Sennar, coming to see the woman as an equal during their time spent together.

Sennar was prepare to be rejected but Jorunn happily accepted the dragon's proposal and they become bonded/married. Sennar guards and cherishes her wife quite fiercely, as well as the entire settlement.

*Old art of them, done by me when I first made the characters. This started out as a smut comic (never finished it)

Welp, that's all I got. I hope you enjoyed and, as always, if you ever want to see more, comments & asks help me focus on doing this kinda stuff.

*Current, updated, piece I'm working on form Sennar and Jorunn. Sennar's design is not set yet.

[whorediaries-09]

Hi I'm the last anon that you replied to, and it's absolutely no worries that you prefer not to write Sirius like that! Could I please instead request a fic where the reader is reunited with Sirius after he escapes from Azkaban, he starts cleaning up his appearance but is a bit insecure because he thinks he's not as handsome as he once was, and the reader assures him that he's gorgeous. XO

indentation in the shape of you

pairing- sirius black x reader warning(s)- fluff, (bad humor 💀). (let me know if i should add more) a/n- thank you lovely anon for requesting, and for understanding that i could not write your previous request. luv you and have a great day <3

ps- i made the reader wear specs just cuz i can 😼

masterlist

you tuck your stray tendrils behind your ear tucking your lip under your teeth as you mend to a hippogriff's wounds. the sound of the rain patters against your windows synchronized with the flow of the shower water splashing against your bathroom floor.

it's difficult to cure the poor animal when your afraid he's going to brandish his wings at any given time. you squint hard, engrossed with your work when you hear a knock of wood. it startles you, since you're used to living alone.

'i really like this tea,' a voice drawls followed by a clank of metal against the wood of your table. you turn your head around, and your heart skips a beat.

sirius leans his bony hips against your table, in front of you, his hair sopping wet as pellets of water flow down across his tattooed bare chest. there's a towel around his hips which covers most of his intimate area. your stomach prowls with collywobbles as he gazes at you.

'and how do you know?' you question, raising an eyebrow, as you stand up.

'lets see...well maybe because it was i who suggested this tea to you,' sirius says, his bony long fingers tucking his overgrown locks behind his ear. you cheeks feel a rush of warmth as he adjusts his towel around his narrow (and slutty 👹) hips.

'also could you give me some pants?' you breath slowly, your shoulders tensing.

'sure,'

****

your hand cups his face as you slowly tend to his wounds and gashes. the physical ones. you cannot fix his mental wounds in one night, but there's a fire inside you which bubbles at fever pitch which urges you to be with him. you want to be with him to remind him he's not a deranged killer on loose. you want to provide him comfort and the love that he needs. you want to be there for him.

'easy wasn't it?' you say as you fix down the last of his wounds.

'yes,' he says. you notice his fingers gripped so tightly around around the scalding cup of tea he holds that his knuckles turn white. you realize your hand his resting on his thigh. you quickly move your hand away and mutter a sorry softly under your breath.

'um, sirius were you uncomfortable that i touched you?' you question as void of guilt bubbles within you. sirius shakes slightly beside you, his shoulders tensing,

'no not really. i think it felt unfamiliar to me,' he says. your heart aches for him, the poor man painted as the villain for the death of his brother and innocent people when in reality he wasn't. he was the boy who had lost the color on his skin and the sparkle in his eyes when he learnt about james' death. he was the boy who went out to find and kill pettigrew when it all dawned upon him. he was the boy who went to prison in the name of his brother. he was the boy who lived 12 years in prison thinking everyone mistrusted him, thinking he was deranged, blaming himself for james' death.

he was the man in front of you who lost his boyhood.

'sirius i'm sorry,' you say.

'what for?' he asks, 'beside when should i leave your house? it'd be of help if you could suggest some place to hide,'

the question catches you off-guard.

'why'd you want to leave?' you ask. your finger slowly trails towards his hand and you adjoin your pinky with his.

'well i'm sure you wouldn't want a crackpot old dog in your house,' he muses, raising his eyebrow.

'and who told you that you're an crackpot, you tosspot?' you question.

'oh so i'm a tosspot?'

'shut up, you're not going anywhere,' you demand, the finger of your free finger wagging in front of him. he smirks,

'oh but dovie, i'm not as much of a ladies man as i was,' he says, breathing slowly leaning close towards your face. you feel his hot breath fogging up your glasses and you back away,

'sure, you hag,' you reply but you don't mean it. there's a slow moment where you stare into his gray eyes, and you realize the thunder of his stormy irises hasn't drowned. the moonlight beaming upon his high cheekbones, wrinkles of age and razor sharp jawline makes him look like a man who aged like fine wine.

you hear buckbeak screech and scratch his talons. you breath softly, your shoulders tensing.

'i think we should really find somewhere else where beaky can live peacefully,' you say, getting up. your palms feel sweaty, and you wipe your hands on your skirt.

sirius hums in agreement, quietly sipping on his tea. you turn on your heels, turning to tend to the hippogriff.

your hand attaches itself to your doorknob and you whisper,

'and for the record, i think you're gorgeous. and always be.' and you're sure you hear sirius choking on his tea at your words as you walk out the room.

[echojulietfoxtrot]

I'm only going to be ranting about Deadloch for one more week - sorry and bear with me - but holy shit how smart this show is. I felt so pleased with myself for thinking I'd seen a big twist coming, and all along it was double bluffing me like a sucker, letting me think I was so damn clever while it ran rings round me.

Even cooler is how gradually it's led me from the kooky crackpot smalltown whodunnit I signed up for, with just a dash of gallows humor, to the stark, angry story of the many faces and tendrils of misogyny it was all along.

Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty of humor and fun to stop it slipping into indigestible grimdark, but stuff like the interrogation scenes this week were not remotely fucking around, and all the moving parts that started finally fitting together and closing in around Dulcie & co felt like watching a huge, dangerous Rube Goldberg machine made of sexism start moving slowly and surely down the final track towards a bunch of neatly stacked dynamite.

And maybe I'm naïve, too, but I'm just the right level of thrilled about all the tension and drama, without really being worried the conclusion is going to leave me feeling shitty or cheated or purely bummed out, because it's so smartly dodged or subverted so many pitfalls to get here already.

All this from the writers of a 15 minute Youtube comedy cooking spoof???

I mean don't get me wrong, I loved it - Katering Show is fantastic - but this is an absolutely insane glow up, on par with Charlie Brooker moving from mean little spoof tv guide listings to San Junipero.

For God's sake, do not sleep on this show, and if you can catch up the 7 eps in time to speculate on the finale, even better.

[solsticewytch]

Okay, I had a crackpot idea, not even a theory (it is by the end of this post btw) just an idea, that I need to put out in the ether.

So, I recently came across a post from @vertigala who theorized that RedCanary might be the new host for Protocolverse!Jonah Magnus. And I thought, if they were to ever show up in person it sure would be fun horrible if RedCanary was someone we know from TMA. So... I'm trying to work out who would make more sense be absolutely gut-wrenching when it hits me. What if, just IF, because the likelihood of this is, like, zero, I'm sure, but JUST WHAT IF... RedCanary is Protocolverse!Jonathan Sims?

I mean just think about the potential in that. The moment we first hear this universe's Jon talking in TMAGP, sounding "awfully happy" or something, bringing a fleeting sense of joy, knowing that at least in one universe he's not so devastatingly miserable, but it slowly dawns on us, and on Jon if he's the one/one of who's listening, that it's not him, that that bastard wins again, that utter, truly next-level defeat, that heartache! And then for however long Jonah would be an active threat in TMAGP we'd have to hear him through Jon's own voice, see him in his body, all the while TMA!Jon, trapped in the 'puters (with TMA!Jonah nonetheless), using the last remnants of his own agency, all of his remaining consciousness, is actively trying to stop him (and/or this world's horrors), as the only people being vaguely aware of him are a paranoid IT guy who is actively conspiring againts him and a woman from his own world who has every reason not just to never trust Jon but also (imo) wanting to work againts him given the chance.

On top of all of this there's the several layers deep irony to all of it. Jon being the one who reads out that case, either out of his own choice or being forced to do so, the implication of him specifically chosing this case to deter Sam from or leading him directly towards the Magnus Institue, or someone else using Jon for that. Then there's the idea of this universe's Jon willingly seeking out spooky abandoned locations for fun and then meeting a gory demise from exploring the burned down ruins of the Magnus Institute, becoming a mistery known only to the mostly oblivious staff of an organization that specifically looks for these eldritch monsters to recruit, reducing his experience to little more than random numbers in a database that nobody uses anymore.

Even though RedCanary doesn't particularly strike me as a likely candidate for Protocolverse!Jon based on the wording of their comments alone, plus they also suggest they're from Manchester and their dad is still alive, I still think it would make some weird, karmic sense for them to be this universe's Jon. By not growing up in Bournemouth or, more importantly, not being raised by his grandmother, who'd carelessly buy any random cheap book on clearance for him to read, he could have avoided making any significant connection to the supernatural in childhood and therefore avoiding geting on the radar of the Magnus Institute prior to their destruction in '99, despite now being much closer to it. This being Jon, I think he would still have that Eye-aligned thirst for knowledge, secrets, uncaring for the dangers he'd be exposed to while looking for them, so with the Institute gone he finds another way to satiate that thirst and developes a liking for exploring abadoned places. Which then leads him back to the Magnus Institute, striking his interest, publically at least, with it being "cleared", "explored to death", holding no more secrets, yet not having any pictures to show it, not having any concrete information on it. So he goes to explore, not being deterred by the state of the building, being careless, expects piles of papers, the renmants of the knowledge that place once held, having the sense of doors shutting behind him, seeing grafiti on the wall and wanting to know more about it, trying to document all of it and failing to do so due to photographic distortions, having to resort to older technology, taking something they're weren't supposed to, not just in a supernatural sense, but the place they're discussing all of this is also against it, the rising paranoia that leads to the brutal mutalation of their eyes, the sight of which makes the forum freak out and remove the only photo that found its way to the internet, the only real evidence of what happened to them. All of it is there, narratively speaking, for the audience of TMA entering this new world, this new story, serving as a red thread from one world to another, basically summarising the entirity of TMA without spoilers. But how thematically fitting it would be that after being welcomed in this new world by the remnants of Martin, who's pained sob was the last thing the tapes supposedly recorded before entering the Protocolverse, telling us a tale reminisent of his own feelings and his, Jon's and Jonah's state of being at the moment ("Some of him") the person who then basically introduces us not just to this world's Magnus Institute and the danger it still holds but also theslightly changed rules of the Fears, warning us not to / beckoning us to investigate further, to be this world's Jon, appearing only through a thematically fitting username in a tale told to us by the remnants of the original world's Jon. Once used by Jonah to be the vessel through which all the fears entered the world, now possessed entirely by Jonah, allowing him to enter the world even after being defeated and do as he pleases.

(...Okay, I know it all started as a sleep deprived mind's musing on a bittersweet scene that was likely never to happen but I'm lowkey totally sold on this idea now.)

[eybefioro]

It's so messed up how prime decided to drop the 6 episodes in one go.

Can you imagine how fun it would be to watch them one a week?

We would have time to digest one episode at time.

We would spend do much time trying to solve the mystery with Aziraphale. Can you imagine all the over analysis of each episode and theories??? It would be maddening(in a good way)

One clever mutual would say "look at that fly!! Here's my essay about how Jim's memories are stored in it!!" We would laugh and call it a crackpot theory. And then, another beloved shipper would go "WAIT, A FLY??? INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY IS REAL !!!!" And almost no one would believe them.

And that last punch on the gut would be even more powerful, bc it would be brewing for a month and a half.

I'm so fucking mad. We were so robbed. The collective experience of watching one episode at a time is so unique and invaluable, and isn't something that can be done again after the thing is out. WE WERE ABSOLUTELY ROBBED.

I hope they don't make the same mistake in S3.

[melbatron5000]

The Clues of Good Omens are trolling us

I didn't reblog this post I saw a few days ago, and now I'm regretting it. Not like, I'll be on my death bed full of thoughts of this post, but like, it made a solid point and I think it's worth repeating.

I had already been thinking about some of the stuff various Ineffable Mystery Game Players are noting, and wondering how important some of this stuff is. There are some wild little details that people are chasing down.

I think that's fascinating. I also think it's not the slightest bit important to figuring out the hidden story; and if it leads to anything, it's going to circle back to things that can be found in other, easier-to-spot Clues. That's NOT to say I don't think people should be doing it. I am; at least somewhat. It's FUN.

I DO think a lot of layers of detail and intricacies have been added to the show to trip up people looking for what's going on. Much like digging for dinosaur bones, there's nothing to be found in the top layer, interesting stuff that's probably not dinosaurs under that, and real dinosaurs under that. Look too deep, though, and you bypass the dinosaurs entirely and start finding more interesting stuff that's also not dinosaurs. If you're just digging for joy, great. Have at it. There's a ton there. If you're looking for dinos, though, you need to know how far to dig and where to stop.

The post I mentioned said, paraphrasing: "It's a TV show. Whatever's going on has to be quickly explainable to the casual viewer. Most of the TV audience isn't digging this deep or going to be able to follow some of these really crackpot theories."

This is true. This is absolutely true.

So far, all my own theories do fit inside an easy-to-explain-in-a-few-seconds model. And I intend to work to keep them that way. Are some of my Clues a little off-the-wall? Sure, but wherever I found them, they're still dinosaurs. Several of them have easier Clues than what I dug up, but they all lead back to the same place: a story that will make sense when explained quickly.

Two Crowleys? Just have to have the second one walk on screen. Secret twins have been done before on many shows. Done.

Gabriel stole records from Heaven that Aziraphale will use to take them down? A quick flashback will show us that -- we might not even need that much. "The records Gabriel stole when he left," Aziraphale says, and a bunch of the picture snaps into place for the casual viewer. Maybe not the entire thing, but enough that they can follow.

Saraqael has been working with Crowley and Aziraphale? Show the three of them talking not in code about literally anything, it becomes clear they're cooperating.

Missing scenes? Again, a short sequence showing us that something got jumped over -- and how it got jumped over -- will put that to rest. We don't have to necessarily know what got jumped over, just that something did.

Nina is Jesus 2.0? Listen to what I just said -- how quick was that? How difficult to understand?

The whole entire picture doesn't have to be drawn out in intricate detail for the casual audience to follow the gist. I think plenty of Ineffable Mystery will be left intact for us to keep mining for years and years. But the main points, the important plot points, will be quickly summed up.

I'm going to keep digging willy-nilly, because it's fun. There's a lot to find. But I'm also going to try to keep my thoughts based in the story as it would be told to someone interested in sci-fi/fantasy TV. Viewers like that tend to be brighter than the average bear, but not all of us are mystery sleuths. I'm not looking for Atlantis, I'm looking for dinosaurs. If I find Atlantis while I'm down there, cool. But I'm not going to hang that from a wire and put it on display at the Smithsonian in the paleontology wing.

Nobody would get it.