#i'm just so happy for them finally tying the knot :') had to celebrate the happy couple

[youtubearthistory]

"i got married", Julien Solomita, 2022 // "Jimson Weed/White Flower No. 1" (detail), Georgia O'Keeffe, 1936

[solarwonux]

Epitaph || kth (8/?)

pairing: Taehyung x f!reader || roommates!au

w.c: 11.1k  

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, co-parenting!au, fwb!au, non idol!au

Warnings: suggestive language, voyerism (if you like squint) they’re so in love it hurts, nudity, office sex, unprotected sex, cock warming (if you squint), semi edited

Synopsis: In memory of the man Kim Taehyung used to be. Caught up and  lost in a continuous cycle searching for something that was already there.

Reeling you into a mess that you never asked for because all you wanted was to feel complete and happy.

a/n: HELLO, SHE’S HERE, THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM. I'm sorry it literally took me like half a year to write this, but lots of shit has happened in my life. And I was very uncomfortable every time I sat to write smut because of something that happened to me earlier in the year. But I’m better now. I’m healing in all ways that I can. And this is one of them. So I hope you enjoy it!

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Before

February 2015

It’s a bit poetic to have your wedding on the day dedicated to celebrating not just romantic love but all kinds of love–Valentine’s Day. But what else would you expect from Choi Jiwoo and Kim Namjoon? They were literally the physical embodiments of the word love.

So, when the invitation arrived at yours and Taehyung’s door step, three months after the engagement. Surprised was not the emotion you felt, nor was shock. Only happiness and relief because finally after years of parading their close to perfect relationship for the world to see–not that any of you minded their love in the purest form always gave a sense of hope–but they were finally tying the knot.

Officially, that is. Before the engagement they drunkenly got married in the back of a McDonalds in front of Namjoon’s Toyota Corolla with beaming headlights. You were a bridesmaid and Hoseok was the officiant. Yoongi and Taehyung were there but for the life of you, you could not remember what role they played. Just that you wanted the entire thing over with so you can finally eat your caramel sundae.

But the day had arrived. All morning the nerves were at an all time high and Jiwoo’s saddened look failed to leave her beautiful face until she walked down the aisle and met her husband-to-be. Whispers on the street was that her brother was nowhere to be found. Though, that could’ve been just your imagination. In the years that you have known Jiwoo she had never once mentioned having a brother. So, you brushed that aside and concluded that it was all due to nerves.

At least that’s what she said when you asked her about it while she was getting her hair and make up done.

Even so, whatever it was didn’t matter anymore. The ceremony was a success, despite Namjoon crying the entire time and absolutely breaking down during his vows. The ceremony was a success and the reception was winding down along with your energy. Your feet were in absolute pain and the tight dress you were wearing was starting to become uncomfortable to the point that it was affecting your mood.

“Here you go.”

A hand with a water bottle appears in front of you shaking you from your thoughts. You blink looking up to find Taehyung in front of you, blocking your perfect view from the newly wedded couple who had been engrossed in eachother, stupidly slow dancing to a fast song for the past five songs.

“Thanks.” You grin, taking the bottle from it, breaking the cap and taking a sip from it. “They’re so gross.” You shudder, placing your bottle down on the table and sneakily pointing to the couple, twisting your face in fake disgust.

Taehyung looks behind him and shakes his head before looking back at you and chuckling at your expression. “They’re in love, what do you expect?”

You shrug, placing your feet on top of the chair next to you. You had half a mind to just take off your heels if it wasn’t so socially unacceptable. “Better dance moves, anything other than that.” You point, cringing when they take turns to pepper each other’s faces with kisses.

“I think it's adorable.” Taehyung adds, leaning down and grabbing a hold of your legs before lifting them up and sitting down. He doesn’t hesitate to place when on top of his lap. The tiny slit of your champagne colored bridesmaid dress falls over his lap, draping down his leg. Exposing your skin to his soft brown eyes. They only linger there for a second, enough to not let his thoughts wander, before he switches his focus to the table's centerpiece.

He’s never seen Hydrangeas as interesting as these ones.

The sound of your scoff brings him back, and he’s right back where he started. Admiring you up close, yet still feeling so far away. “What?” He cocks his head to the side. By now his fingers have started kneading the back of your calves. Like they have a mind of their own and subconsciously know that you're in pain. Though, what would you expect? Taehyung practically did this every night after you came home from work and kicked off your shoes. The sighs you would let out were his absolute favorite.

“Nothing,” you wave him off before crossing your arms in front of you, slightly pushing your cleavage up and out. He knows you’re not doing this on purpose but what else is he supposed to think? Anything you do sends him over the edge.

“It’s just that of course you would find their love fest adorable.” You add, sending him a sly smirk. You’re teasing him and he hates it when you do because no matter what he always falls for your bait.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His fingers walk up your leg slowly. Your skin is so soft and he has to stop himself from imagining what the rest of your body would feel like underneath his touch. Would it ignite like a wildfire? Or would it flicker like a dying flame? He knows he won’t ever find out so that’s why he just wonders.

“You’re a hopeless romantic Tae. You’ve watched The Notebook like eighty times and you’re the only single person who actually gets excited for Valentine’s Day.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. His fingers stop on top of your knee, spreading out until his palm is resting firmly on top of your knee cap. It sends a shiver up your spine, one you try your best to hide by repositioning yourself in the plastic chair.

“Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love. I like celebrating it because it gives me an excuse to openly show my love and appreciation for everyone that I care about…like you.” He pauses and looks up at you through his eyelashes. The mere action makes your knees go weak. It also doesn’t help that he’s recently dyed his hair blonde and he looks like a Disney prince personified. Truly, you have to thank the heavens for being sat down because coming up with an excuse for falling would be nearly impossible since blaming it on the alcohol was not an option.

“And what’s wrong with watching The Notebook eighty times. It’s a great movie.” He adds, crossing his arms in front of him like a little kid.

You giggle, slightly shaking your head. “See only hopeless romantics think The Notebook is a great movie.” You say pointedly, poking his side with the tip of your shoe making him pout.

“Oh my angel, who broke your heart to make you think this way?” He sighs, dramatically, placing a hand over his heart faking mock hurt.

You roll your eyes and lean forward resting your elbows on top of your thighs and resting your chin on your open palm. “No one, because I’ve never been in love, Tae.” You smile, sending him a wink before sitting back in your chair again.

That’s a bold face lie if you’ve ever seen one, but you weren’t going to tell the man in front of you that he’s been the sole owner of your heart since that December night. Nope, confessing was not an option. It would overcomplicate things not only for you but for him and the rest of your friends. In all honesty, you were okay with loving him from afar. Even if sometimes it hurts whenever you help him get ready for his dates. Dates that never led to anything and it always left you wondering why?

Taehyung was a catch. A hopeless romantic and always attentive to every tiny little detail. He was a listener when he needed to be. But at the same time he was a person that gave amazing advice when it was asked of him. He loved to celebrate people, always going above and beyond to make sure they knew they were special. Even if it was just to him. Plus he gave awesome foot massages and knew how to cook at least three good meals. That’s more than you can say for some of the men you’ve met in your life.

The million dollar question was why was he still single?

“That’s a shame, it would be an honor to love and be loved by you.” He says casually. Like his heart and your heart aren’t threatening to explode out of your chests.

Did he just confess without meaning to confess? Did he just blow his cover? Maybe you won’t notice? You weren’t drunk but he did see you sneak in that one Gin and Tonic at the beginning of the reception, just before dinner. Maybe that was enough to do the job?

“Hmm, I guess I haven’t found the right person yet?” You sigh.

“Or you haven’t looked hard enough.” He lightly squeezes your knees before letting his fingers trail down your leg again. Slowly, his index finger circles around the buckle of your shoe sitting soundlessly against your ankle. His eyes are boring holes into yours, attentive and enough to catch the gulp you swallow. He feels hot, but maybe it’s the dim lights and the slow song now playing in the background. All that he knows is that there’s something flowering between the two of you tonight and it could go one of two ways.

It could end in a burning flame or paradise.

A part of him is desperate to find out.

“Maybe I don’t want to look.” You bite your lip and sit up. Your hand comes and lands on top of his unoccupied one resting on top of the table. Your manicured nail toys with the ring on his middle finger as your tongue pokes out, swiping the remaining flavor of your lemonade away.

It has to be the stupid post wedding atmosphere that’s make you feel reckless. Like you want to make a mistake and not care about the consequences until you absolutely have to face them. Either way, whatever it is the next words you mutter over the slow reverb of the song playing in the background are way too bold and enough to be considered out of character.

Still you said them because you wanted to say them, with your head held high. “Want to get out of here?”

“Angel, I thought you’d never ask.”

Kissing Taehyung was nothing like you had ever imagined because it was better than what you had imagined.

His lips were soft, molded with yours in perfect symmetry and he took his time to explore every inch of your mouth with his tongue. He held you close like he was afraid that you would disappear into thin air. That’s how it had been the entire hour long taxi ride from the reception venue to your apartment. His lips danced with yours in perfect harmony, only pulling away for air and when the driver announced that your destination had been reached. And if you weren’t so drunk off of Taehyung’s lips you would’ve apologized profusely for such a public display of affection. Even if you wanted to, Taehyung didn’t let you because after paying the driver he was practically dragging you out of the cab and into the lobby of your apartment building.

Your lips were only apart for a minute and it felt like a whole eternity. When the elevator arrived he was pinning you against the wall and trailing his lips down your neck. Earning the softest whimpers and that only motivated him to continue doing so. It continued like that, only pulling away from each other until it was absolutely necessary, crashing into hallway walls and giggling like teenagers. You fumbled when putting in the code to unlock your door. Taehyung had taken it upon himself to tickle the back of your neck by softly blowing at it. Chuckling at your frustration every time you got it wrong. It was driving you absolutely insane. In the best way possible.

When you finally got the door to unlock, he turned you around to face him, one hand resting on your lower back while the other cradled your chin. He licked his lips, taking the slight residue of your remaining red lipstick with him. The entire night he couldn’t take the image of your lips painting his body with red. It was slightly smudged now, most of it on his lips. Still you looked so beautiful to him, with your perfectly styled hair sticking up in places his hands had been in. Your eyes were blown up wide in lust and the thin straps of your dress were falling down. Just like they had been the entire night, but this time you did nothing in your power to fix them.

What the two of you were doing was wrong on so many levels. Neither of you had an excuse as to why it was happening because neither of you had had a drop of alcohol tonight. This was something you wanted. Had wanted for years and you can only assume with the way Taehyung was looking at you right now. He wanted it too.

“We shouldn’t do this.” You say breathlessly, hooking your arms around his neck. Your words and actions were contradicting and he understood exactly why because in his mind he was having the same battle with his heart.

“Mhm, I know.” He agrees, dipping his head down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss before pulling away. “My room or yours?”

You click your tongue rolling yours, pulling his head closer letting your lips hover over his own. “I don’t care, just want you.” You say before kissing him desperately. Unlike him you’re different. The second you want something you want it instantly. And you’ve been fighting against yourself for years every time it came to Taehyung, and you’ve just decided that you’re done fighting.

He kisses you back, matching your rhythm and fever while he picks you up, letting your legs wrap around his waist. He carefully moves through the apartment, having memorized the layout after years of living here with you, and kicks open his bedroom door. Silently thanking his past self for deciding to pick up everything earlier today. Carefully, he places you on top of his bed before pulling away.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks, resting one of his knees on the edge of his bed, tilting his head to the side. He feels overwhelmed, like he doesn’t know if he should keep going or where he should start because you’re in his bed. You’re underneath his glow in the dark star filled ceiling, with your dress riding up and your boobs threatening to spill over your low neckline. You’re soft eyes are burning into his his and he knows he asked a stupid question but he needs to hear you say it again before he lets his carnal desires take over.

You sit up on your elbows, biting your bottom lip. He’s giving you a way out before it’s too late. You know that if you are to say no now, the next day the two of you will go about your days acting as if nothing happened. But is that what you want?

Your mind is so clear, it’s stopped fighting against your heart the second the two of you entered the apartment. So it’s settled, nothing will stop you from giving yourself away to the only man that’s ever managed to capture your heart. “Yes, I trust you. I want this. I want you, nothing can change my mind.” You emphasize.

It’s like music to his ears. Hearing you say those magic words so freely. It’s better than anything he’s ever imagined. So, he stops fighting himself and lets the part that’s been yours since the moment he laid eyes on you take over.

Even if it’s just for tonight. You’re his and he’s yours.

He’s crawling on top of you faster than you can process anything and slowly pushes you down. His face is right in front of yours, and you can’t stop yourself from admiring in this way. He’s always been beautiful to you, but right now he looks like an angel incarnate. Everything about him is perfect from the black of his growing roots, to the little mole on the tip of his nose, and to his lips.

It almost feels like a dream come true. And you know you won’t ever forget this night because the next words that he says are unforgettable. “I trust you too, more than you will ever know.”

Taehyung knows he shouldn’t do it, but how else is he going to survive the rest of the night?

That’s just a poor excuse and he knows it.

“Do you ever feel like there’s something missing in your life?” Taehyung asks, opening up the second bottle of white wine that night. You're sitting up with your back against the headboard of his bed with his thin gray sheets covering your naked body.

It’s been three hours and he’s lost count on how many rounds the two of you have gone. Truth is the two of you wouldn’t have stopped if you hadn’t run out of condoms. So, Taehyung proposed running down to the local pharmacy to buy more, which is where he saw the bottles of wine. He did very little to fight against the little voice in his head and bought them anyway, going against his better judgment.

“I’m naked in your bed and you’re asking me about the meaning of life?” You hold out your glass to him, sitting up, holding his sheets tight against your chest.

Taehyung rolls his eyes pouring you a full glass before resting the bottle on his bedside table. He had three glasses, that was his limit. Or at least the limit in which it wouldn't be considered a full relapse, even if he’s already feeling the regret in the pit of his stomach. “Now, that’s a different question entirely.” He smirks, sitting down next to you, placing his arms around your waist and pulling you into his body. “I asked if you ever feel like there’s something missing in your life?”

You scoff, taking a sip from your wine before setting it down on the table beside his bed. “It’s practically the same thing Tae.”

“Ehh, I beg to differ.” He offers you a grin before kissing your lips lightly. “I’m still waiting for your answer.” He whispers against them before pulling away, chuckling at the shock written all over your face.

It’s amazing how this action is the one that stops you dead in your tracks and not when his head was buried in between your legs barely an hour ago. Though, you shake that thought away as quickly as it seeped into your mind. Your body was finally starting to feel the side effects of having sex nonstop for nearly three hours, and as much as you want his mouth and tongue to give you one of the most mind blowing orgasms you’ve ever had. Your body wouldn’t be able to take it any longer.

“Not really.” You smile, placing your chin on top of his chest, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “I think if you would’ve asked me this years ago I would’ve given you a laundry list of things I found missing in my life. But lately I’ve been pretty content with it.”

Taehyung hums in acknowledgment. His fingers have slowly found their way underneath his sheets and onto your lower back, but he doesn’t move them any further. Despite the dirty things he whispered in your ear while pounding into you. He’s still a gentleman…somewhat.

“Fine, I’ll take it.” He sighs, pouting, faking disappointment. You giggle at his actions, poking his protruding lips with your index finger, letting him plant a kiss on the tip of it. “Then…what do you want most in the world?”

You pause letting your fingers fall onto his chin. It’s a question you’ve asked yourself before. The answer used to change depending on where you were in life but lately every time you find yourself thinking about it. The answer always remains the same.

“To be a mom.”

Your revelation shouldn’t surprise Taehyung. In a way he feels like he knew that would be your answer. Still, it makes his stomach churn with butterflies and the only thing he can picture is you pregnant with his baby.

Fuck he needs more wine.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s kind of impossible right now.” You brush off, halting his imagination.

“Wait, why?” He asks, dumbfounded.

You sit up, raising your eyebrows at him confused. Taehyung is smart, he’s a fucking CEO for crying outloud and this isn’t one of those math problems that were impossible to solve. It’s as simple as one and two.

“I kind of need someone’s sperm in order to make a baby.” You deadpan, growing slightly annoyed with the confused look on his face.

“I have a pretty healthy sperm count angel.” He says putting an arm underneath his head, while the other reels you in, making your body fall softly on top of his. “Just say the word and I’ll give you a baby.” He smiles smugly, letting his hand wander down your back before grabbing a handful of your ass.

So much for being a gentleman.

You gape at him, unsure if he’s joking or not. You’ve never actually witnessed a drunk Taehyung and you’re positive that three half glasses isn’t enough to get a person drunk. But maybe this is why he doesn’t drink. He’s a lightweight who starts speaking nonsense. Honestly, he might as well start speaking in tongues to you because this is crazy.

“You’re fucking with me are you insane?” You try to sit up, but he doesn’t let you, his hold on you gets tighter.

“Maybe…but I’m so serious. Tell me and I’ll fuck a baby into you.”

“Taehyung, do you know what you’re saying? Having sex is fun, but being a parent is something entirely different plus we aren’t in a long term relationship. So many things can go wrong.” The sternness in your voice should scare enough to make him take back his offer. But there are only a few things in life that Taehyung has ever been sure about with his entire soul.

He’s decided tonight that this one happens to be one of them. “I know, and I want this. You’re my best friend angel, and there’s no one in the world I would rather be a parent with than with you. So, just say the word and I’ll do it.”

He shouldn’t be this good at convincing you. No, you shouldn’t be actually considering it, and fuck you really wish you could blame it on the white wine. But nothing about this situation is hazy or feels out of place.

It’s scary how right it feels. How everything about tonight felt right, like it was meant to happen. And maybe it was. Maybe it wast meant to happen years ago on that December night.

“Let’s do it Tae, let’s have a baby then.”

March 2015

You would think that after finally getting married, Namjoon and Jiwoo would be off on some fancy honeymoon island destination. But instead they opted out for two weeks out in the countryside. The two of them coming back sunburned to the point that their skin was hot to the touch.

And after living with Namjoon’s parents for three weeks, due to the pipes leaking in their newly rented apartment. Jiwoo was finally happy to be able to host a newlywed, welcome home slash house warming party.

Or barbecue on the rooftop of their apartment building. All decorated by the one and only bride herself. String lights hung from one side to the other, a small rusted red grill that you were sure had just been sitting out in the sun forgotten for years. And an inflatable kiddie pool, because according to the wedded couple, a barbecue would never be complete without a pool.

Though because there weren’t any lounge chairs, Jiwoo, Hoseok and you all sat on a picnic mat on the concrete floor. Jiwoo worsening her sunburn, Hoseok avoiding the sun underneath an umbrella and you praying to at least get some color.

The guys were gossiping around the grill. Namjoon trying his hardest to not burn himself or the meat. Yoongi talking about the latest discovery he made while playing around on garageband. And Taehyung is trying his hardest to not look at you. To which he failed.

Almost miserably.

“He’s staring again.” Hoseok murmurs, holding the small electric fan up to his face.

Jiwoo, takes the towel away from her face, and raises an eyebrow at him. “Who?”

“Taehyung. He’s looked over at least ten times in the past five minutes.” Hoseok, annoyance laced in the back of his voice. “And it’s certainly not to look at me or you, Jiwoo.” He finishes, amused.

Jiwoo sits up abruptly, crossing her legs underneath her. “You noticed it too. Oh, God I thought I was making shit up.” She picks up the towel and throws it at you, letting it land on your stomach, making you recoil in pain. The high waisted bikini bottoms you were sporting did nothing to protect you, as it still felt like you were being slapped with a towel.

“What the hell Ji?” You pick up the towel and throw it back to her.

“What’s the deal with you and Taehyung?” She doesn’t miss a beat and continues, “he’s been glued to your side and eye fucking you since the wedding.”

“Absolutely nothing.”

And it’s the truth. Nothing, despite all the confessions that happened on the wedding night, had happened between the two of you since.

Sure, you had walked around the apartment in nothing but a bra and underwear a few times. Knowing very well Taehyung’s eyes were trailing your every move. And sure he had walked around in nothing but a towel a few times. Again, knowing very well you were imagining all the things he did to you that night. But neither one of you dared to admit defeat first.

If you were being honest with yourself it was actually driving you up the wall. To the point you were about to break like Namjoon did when he drove to Hoseok’s apartment in a poor attempt to escape the evilness that was his mother and Jiwoo together.

“Is that why he’s slowly undressing you with his eyes right now?” Hoseok cocked his head to the right, closing the umbrella, now that the sun was nowhere in sight.  

You roll your eyes and stand up. “You’re reading too much into it.” You dust off your legs and step off of the mat, sliding your feet into your flip flops. “I’m going to get ice cream from your freezer, do you want some?” Your body is weakened, feeling the side effects of lying out in the sun for almost two hours. And you were in desperate need of something cold.

“Fine, avoid the subject, you’ll tell us everything, eventually.” Hoseok brushes you off, opening up his umbrella again, the second he sees the sun peeking over the clouds.

“We only have protein ice cream, hope you like it, but don’t tell Namjoon I gave you permission to eat it.” Jiwoo grabs the towel and lays down again. “He’s trying to bulk up or something.” Is the last thing she says before dropping the towel over her face.

Your cue to leave. And you do with an eye roll and a complaint leaving your lips.

You don’t feel him until he’s pressing you against the kitchen counter. Namjoon’s peanut butter chocolate protein ice cream slips out of your grasp and onto the floor as you jump.

“What the fuck Tae?

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew I walked in behind you.” He says, circling his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

You huff out, placing your palms against his chest. Like they belonged there. “Clearly I didn't, if not I wouldn’t have tried to knock your eye out.” You grin, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Okay maybe you lied a little. There had been a few make out sessions since that night. And by a few you mean the one that happened right before the two of you left for the barbecue.

It had been Taehyung to cross the line first, but it had been you that sent him over the line when you walked into the living room in the skimpiest bikini he had ever seen. Thankfully, you had changed right before leaving. But that still hadn’t stopped him from mentally undressing you all afternoon.

“I heard Namjoon’s bathroom is really spacious.” He grins, resting his forehead against yours, a smirk playing on his lips.

You roll your eyes lightly pushing him away. “I can’t believe you, thinking about having sex in our best friends bathroom.”

“We can be quick. Think of it as a step towards parenthood.” He jokes, sliding his hands down your back, resting gently on your butt.

“Tae…I don’t know. Anyone can come down and see us or worse, hear us.” You say almost petrified as his fingers start to toy with the elastic around your legs.

He ignores you, leaving a gentle kiss against your lips and then your nose. “Let me convince you. The guys think I went down to the convenience store for more beer. They won’t suspect a thing.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to just be getting ice cream.” You pout. A shiver runs down your body as his fingers make their way underneath your bikini bottoms.

“Just say you took a shower to cool off.”

“Why would I say that?”

“I heard Namjoon’s shower stall is very very very spacious. Fantastic for shower sex.” He smirks, taking his fingers from underneath for bikini bottoms, letting the elastic down on your skin. Eliciting a moan from you, making his eyes go dark with lust.

“You’re fucking insane.”

“Only for you, now come on. We are running on borrowed time.”

“You better make me cum Kim Taehyung or not we’re going to have problems.” You say, and he cockily gives you a look that tells you he will do just that and better.

He grabs your hand and you let him drag you to the guest bathroom down the hallway. You hate how right he is. It was fucking spacious, and clean, with a dish of lavender scented flower shaped soaps in a banister by the sink. Jiwoo’s special added touch. You swear she gifted you some every year for your friendiversary.

That’s not all, the shower stall could very well be its own bathroom. It was probably bigger than the one in your room.

Jealousy is not what you’re supposed to be feeling. And any ounce of if is long forgotten when Taehyung presses himself into you from behind. Reaching over to turn on the water, running his fingers underneath the water, humming when it’s just the right temperature. All while subtly…not so subtly grinding his growing erection into your ass.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, connecting his lips against the spot just inches below your earlobe. You’re about to ask why when you feel him start to push your bikini bottoms down with his fingers. It’s neither fast nor slow. He’s desperate but he wants to take his time. Savor the moment as much as he can before the two of you have to return to reality. He truly wishes he had more time, but his need for you gets the best of him. “I wanted to wait until we got home but I couldn’t resist. You looked so beautiful underneath the sun, and all I wanted to do was take you home or against the railing.”

Your bikini bottoms drop to the ground, and you let out a low gasp when you feel his long fingers touch your clit. You’re wet. You want to tell him that you always are for him. That he’d never have to guess But the words are caught against your throat when he gently pushes you into the stall. The warm water cascading over your heated body, making you gasp.

Taehyung closes the glass door behind him. Forgetting completely that he wasn’t wearing a swimsuit like you, but a Versace button down and some jeans shorts. He wouldn’t have a way to explain this later on. Surely, he can’t say he got rained on while walking to the convenience store because the skies were crystal clear. But he’ll figure that out later. Right now, he only needs you.

“You’re fucking insane.”

“Again, I know but only for you.” He brings your lavender bikini top over your head and tosses it to the side. It’s the first time you’ve been so bare in front of him since the wedding night. And he’s having a hard time, especially when realizing that he won’t be able to take his time with you. For a moment he wishes he hadn’t acted so spontaneously.

You roll your eyes, popping open the first button of his shirt. “You better keep your promise.”

“I intend to do just that. How do two orgasms sound?” He tilts his head to the side, fingertips ghosting up your stomach and around your nipples, making you shudder.

“You’re all talk and no bite.”

“Princess you underestimate me.” He smirks.

“We’ll see.”

April 2015

Taehyung’s office is nothing like you expected it to be. For being the CO-CEO of his fathers company, it wasn’t as big as you expected it to be. It didn’t have the dark mahogany wooden desks or bookshelves, or dark wallpaper. The only similarity between the office you had imagined and the real one was the floor to ceiling windows behind his desk. But the white vinyl desk and bookshelves, the records lining the big main wall and the various plants placed strategically around the decent sized space was not what you expected from the dark and brooding Kim Taehyung.

You were fairly surprised.

“I didn’t expect you to come here.” Taehyung said surprised by your arrival. Everyone had gone home. Even his father. But he still had some merger agreements he wanted to look over before the big meeting tomorrow. He had told his assistant to go home two hours ago, so he knew that he was the only one in the ten story building except for the janitor.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he was a bit scared when he heard your faint footsteps get closer. He almost had a heart attack when his door knob turned and he would’ve screamed if he wasn’t met with your warm smile, making his body relax instantly.

“You didn’t come home so I figured I’d bring dinner to you.” You chirp, swinging the bag of take out by your side as you walk closer to his desk. He saw a faint hint of surprise when you looked at your surroundings. The whiteness of the room wasn’t his decision. It was all some big conspiracy that his father had. One he learned in rehab. “White is pure, it will bring joy to your life.” Is what his father had told him when he first showed Taehyung the office. But he’s positive that his father had gotten the shade color wrong because it actually hurt to look at when he started to work there.

He sighs, placing his mont blanc pen down in front of him. He rolls his chair back and opens out his arms for you, his eyes drooping low due to lack of sleep. “You didn’t have to do that Angel, but now that you’re here come give me a cuddle.” He pouts, blinking his eyelashes fast.

You roll your eyes, placing the bag on top of his desk, rounding the corner to his perfectly asymmetrical desk (probably a custom design commissioned by his father) and sitting down on his lap. In an instant his arms are around your waist, caging you in, resting his forehead against your shoulder. He breathes in your scent deeply, squeezing your hips gently as he lets out a tired sigh.

“Thank you, you didn’t need to come, but I’m happy that you did.” He whispers, leaving a gentle peck against your clothed shoulder. He starts to trail his lips until they meet the skin between your shoulder and your neck. He leaves another gentle peck against your skin before pulling away, leaning his head against the neck rest of his chair, smirking.

Your hand goes up to push the fallen locks of hair away. “Tae, you work too hard and don’t take enough breaks until you’re burnt out.” You whisper, kissing his forehead softly. He sighs again, closing his eyes and pulling you closer. “I get worried sometimes.” You confess as your eyes drift away from him.

It’s obvious that the dynamic between the two of you has shifted into something more. There’s no label on your relationship and you aren’t sure if there ever will be a label as it seems that it’s a conversation the two of you are avoiding. Even if you both knew that there was something more unexplainable between the two of you. But you felt it and you’re sure he felt it too.

Taehyung leans up kissing your lips softly, rolling his chair back towards the desk, locking you in between the desk and his body. “You’re too good to me Angel,” he mumbles against your lips, tapping your thigh with the tips of his fingers. “Can I touch you?” He says while pulling away, enjoying the way your face shifts into complete mortification. He loves the way your eyes shift between his face, the office and the windows behind him, and beyond to the nightlife.

“Here? Now?” You swallow, placing your hands against his forearms. Taehyung doesn’t respond, instead he leans in, licking his lips before hovering them above your own. Your body grows stiff underneath his dark eyes, thirsting for more. “P-People can see?” You continue, sounding more as if you’re asking a question than making a statement.

Taehyung hums, sticking his tongue out and poking your bottom lip with the tip, making your heart rate skyrocket. This was too sensual for your liking. Sex between the two of you didn’t start out like this. In the past months it has been quick and straight to the point. Especially on the weeks in which you’re ovulating. It’s fast and driven by lust.

This is different. Nothing has really conspired between the two of you but it already feels intense. Like you’re about to come undone just by the way he is looking down at you. Like he wants you. No, like he needs you and he isn’t just doing this as a favor from one roommate to the other. From one friend to the other. This is more and you’re scared that if you agree to this, the thin line between the two of you that’s keeping the other from crossing over will finally break.

Maybe it’s the lighting coming from the mood lap on the shelf in the far right of his office. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a smaller space than what you had originally expected. Or maybe it’s the fact that if anyone were to stop and look up they’d see Taehyung deflower you over and over and over against his desk. Either way you can’t push the bubble forming in the pit of your stomach.

Taehyung chuckles, “Let them, but also if it makes you feel better the windows are tinted.” He tells you in the most reassuring tone. His eyebrows knitted together as he walks his fingers up the side of your body, until they land on your cheek. “We can see them but they will never see us.” Is the last thing he says before he crashes his lips onto yours. Delving into the passion and intensity you felt seconds before. He grabs onto your thigh, squeezing it, “straddle me.” He says in between kisses.

You nod and break the kiss for a second as you shift around in his lap, placing both of your knees on either side of his thighs. It’s not the most comfortable position, but it sure beats the hard surface of the vinyl desk behind you. “This would be easier if we were home.” You whisper, smiling when he rolls his eyes.

“We can do it at home too. I need you here and now.” He says in his CEO voice and it has your arousal pooling between your legs instantly. He doesn’t give you time to respond before he’s kissing you again. It’s rushed and messy, your teeth are clanking with each other, your breaths intermingling as the pure unadulterated need blossoms between your bodies. He’s quick and precise, but still makes sure to be as gentle as possible. He loves to feel the way your body ignites underneath his fingers. The way your skin rises and falls when his touch paints a masterpiece against your body. And he needs to feel your skin against his or not he will break.

“Tae,” you moan as his fingers grip your ass, grinding your clothed core against his hardening bulge. He loves the way your voice sounds light and airy when you moan for him or his name. It goes straight to his cock and if his self control wasn’t as good as it is now he would’ve come undone. In his pants like a teenager experiencing puberty for the first time in his life.

Your fingers move quickly to unbutton his black silk gucci shirt. You vaguely remember him buying it while the two of you spent the day watching people and window shopping at the mall. Well…you were window shopping, he was doing some light shopping. Or so he claimed. Still, you remember having to leave the store after he tried it on to regain your composure. It took everything in you to not just blow him in the dressing room of the Gucci store. The store clerks–two very gorgeous young girls–were already giving you judgmental stares when the two of you walked in. You didn’t need to give them more of a reason to look down on you.

Needless to say the shirt did something to you. Something sinful to you, and you’re a little embarrassed to admit that you have actually thought about putting it on one day when he isn’t home. Touch yourself as the cool silk moves with your body like a perfect dance. To film a little snippet of yourself and send it to him while he’s at work. So he knows that you’re always thinking about him no matter where, when or what you’re doing when he’s not around.

But that’s a part of your relationship you’re afraid to explore, because does he think of you as something more or does he think of you as something less.

“You’re in your head.” Taehyung says in your ear, biting down on your earlobe as he slowly brings you back to him and his touch. “Everything will be alright, I promise.” He finishes pushing up your crewneck sweatshirt, humming in surprise when he confirms his suspicions. You’re not wearing a bra. He’s driven insane in an instant, rolling your nipple against his cold palm and his other hand makes a quick way down to the front of your grey shorts.

He’s thankful you’ve chosen these that go up to your knees and not the tiny ones that really don’t cover anything, because he knows you walked and took the subway here. And if you had gotten on that train wearing the other ones you’ve walked around the house in, he’d have to hire a hitman to murder all the eyes that dared to pry in your direction.

“Sorry,” You answer, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, watching as it falls down his sides pooling around his waist. “I’ve never done this before.” You confess, unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants instantly. He groans, pulling down the waistband of your shorts, and for a second when he feels your body leave his so you can fully push them away, he wishes he had a couch in his office. But that train of thought stops instantly when he realizes you weren’t wearing anything else underneath them.

Now he really needs to a hire a hitman, this time to murder anyone that was just in your vicinity while you were partially commando.

“Then let me take your office sex virginity.” He winks, taking out his cock from the confines of his boxers, stroking it once before letting a globe of spit coat his angry head. He hisses and you're left in wonder standing before him.

How can something so unhygienic be so hot when he does it? It’s a mystery and one you’re not sure you will ever solve.

You can’t wait anymore and you go to straddle him. Only for him to hold his hand out making you stop. You tilt your head to the side, opening your mouth to ask him why he’s depriving you of his sweet pleasure, but he beats you to it before you can even mutter a word.

“Let me stretch you out first.” He runs his thumb over the head of his cock, biting his lip, watching you through hooded eyes. He’s a sin. An art form that you refuse to look away from. And you’re slightly irritated that he is stretching this out more than it needed to be.

“Another time, I just want to feel you inside of me.” You push his hand away and straddle his lap, reaching between your bodies and gripping him against your wet sex. He hisses, shaking his head as he wraps an arm around you pulling you close, his lips dangerously close to yours as you rub his head against your clit.

He groans, putting his forehead against yours. “Are you sure?” I don’t want to hurt you.” He swallows, watching as you lift up, lining him up at your entrance. “Fuck baby, you’re going to be the reason why I can never come back into this office.” He says smugly, digging his fingertips into your hips. He wants to take off your top, have you fully bare in front of him, but he’s already wasting time by talking.

“Good, this place looks so pure.” You sink yourself down, gripping his biceps as you feel him slowly stretch you out. “It’s not you.” You moan.

“My baby is naughtly tonight.” He groans before leaning and kissing you hard and fast. His lips mold with yours, swallowing your moans as he waits for you to get used to the stretch he’s providing. He loves it when you ride him. He loves how confident you become on top of him. How you fall apart right before his eyes and you cuddle into his chest when you come undone. It’s his favorite next to fucking you from behind, but if he had the choice. He’d take you like this anytime and anywhere.

“Tae I need to move.” You say in between kisses, biting down on his tongue gently as he slowly starts to guide your hips against his. It feels so good, like you’re on cloud nine. The rush of euphoria feels like a new high every time the two of you fuck. It’s sweet, and rough. Hard and soft. It’s everything and nothing at the same time. And you’re sure that he’s the only one that can make you feel this way.

The words leave the two of you, floating into the air as you find pleasure in each other’s bodies. The only language you’re speaking is that of breathy moans and skin slapping. His kisses melt away as he leans back, pulling you closer, hands gripping onto anything the two of you can find. He’s toying with your breast one minute and the next he is flicking his thumb over your swollen clit. Getting lost in the way your eyes turn dark with lust. It’s something he will never get tired of witnessing.

“You look so pretty Angel, fucking yourself on my cock.” He whispers, thrusting his hips to meet yours. It drives you further, makes you chase your high faster as the two of you fuck into one another. And soon the two of you are coming undone around each other. Your bursting at the seams around his hard cock, and he’s burying his seed into you as you milk him dry.

It’s quick, but it leaves your body buzzing with adrenaline as if you just finished bungee jumping off the tallest point in the world. Your breathing is ragged as your body falls slump against his. His chest rising and falling as fast as yours as he regains his self control. Though, with you he’s sure those two words don’t exist in his vocabulary.

“Are you okay?” He asks, pushing strands of hair away from your face. His hands cradle both sides of your face as he brings you up to look at him. Your vision is hazy like you’re there but not entirely there and for a split second, when you don’t answer him he’s afraid he did something wrong or went too far.

You nod, burying your face into the crock of his neck. “I’m more than okay.” You hum, closing your eyes. You feel so comfortable, so warm like this and you don’t want to move a muscle. You don’t want him outside of you yet because you can’t help but feel like this is just right. “Can we stay like this for a little bit, then we can eat the food I brought?” You whisper, closing your eyes breathing in the mixture of his cologne and sex. It sends comforting shivers up your spine.

“We can stay like this for however long you want Angel.” He whispers, kissing the top of your heading and cuddling you closer to his body. He knows his heart isn’t beating out of time because of the sex. He knows because he’s falling for you and that scares him more than anything in the world. It’s a fear he used to run away from. One he refuses to run away from now, because everything with you just feels right.

And that’s just the thing. This is the calm before the storm. Before a storm he’s not sure either of you will survive. A storm that’s long overdue and he just hopes that when it finally arrives. The two of you will be able to overcome it together.

May 2015

Taehyung has started to sleep in your room. He comes home from work at a reasonable hour. He eats dinner with you, shares a glass of wine with you. Occasionally he will put one of his old records on and sways to the music in the most embarrassing way before making you join in. Sometimes he will run you a bath, massage your shoulders and feet to release the tension of your day.

Today is no different, except for the fact that he’s carefully crafted out a scene for his eyes alone. The bathroom is steaming from the water, smelling like the vanilla and lavender bath soap he spent a whole day searching for once. He’s placed white candles all around the room, lighting up the bathroom with a nice dim light.

“What’s the occasion?” You had asked as he stood behind you at the bathroom entrance. His fingers slowly undressing you, doing everything in his power to not hide the mischievous look in his eyes.

He shrugged, “No occasion I just want to treat my girl.”

And that’s how you found yourself in the water, bubbles covering just above your cleavage. Your now short hair falling just above your shoulders. While he sat on the floor against the cabinets with a sketchbook and a bunch of drawing pencils surrounding him. All because he called you his girl. But also you should’ve known he had other plans, except you didn’t expect him to want to draw you. Let alone in your most unattractive and vulnerable state.

You flex your fingers underneath the water, listening to the scribbling sounds of his pencil against his paper. “Is this the part where I say ‘draw me like one of your French girls,’” you joke, trying to fill the silence between the two of you.

He doesn’t look up instead he keeps drawing, “I don’t have another girl nor another french girl. I just have you.” He smiles his boxy smile at you when he finally looks up, sending a rush of heat up to your cheeks. He’s getting better with his one-liners lately. Flirting at any chance he gets, and being more romantic than normal. When the two of you have sex–which is a lot–it’s slow and sensual. He takes his time to bring you pleasure before he can even think of pleasuring himself. And you’re all over the place because of it.

Ever since that night in his office he’s been different, and you can’t decide if it’s a good or a bad different. It’s just different and you’re falling hard for this different, and it has you in complete shambles.

“Ah well then just make me look pretty I guess.” You mumble, cupping your hands in the water and gathering as many bubbles as you can in between your palms.

Taehyung hums, setting down one pencil and switching it for the other. “I won’t have to work so hard, you’re already the prettiest girl I have ever seen.” He lifts up his pencil, extending his arm in front of him and closing one of his eyes as he looks at you or the wall or whatever artists focus on when they do that. Either way his words and actions have you sinking further into the water so you can hide the effect he has on you.

“You’re full of shit.” You mumble as his laughter rings around you making you giggle. He doesn’t answer you, instead he goes back to his drawing, mumbling to himself things you can’t quite comprehend. And it should bother you. You should be grasping at things to say to fill the silence. But it’s peaceful and you can’t help but close your eyes. The warmth of the water, Taehyung’s scribbles and humming lulling you to a light relaxing sleep.

Is this what it means to finally feel at home in the presence of someone else?

July 2015

Taehyung came home later than usual and he found you in a downward dog position in the living room with an at home yoga video playing on the tv screen. It’s part of the health kick you’re currently going through and he finds it a little funny. He knows that it will only last a few more weeks before you trade your early yoga mornings and late nights for late mornings and early nights.

In all due time he will have you to cuddle in his arms again instead of escaping his warmth because you want to be healthier and skinnier. He keeps telling you that you don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself, but you claim that you’ve gained a couple of pounds in the last month and you’ve been waking up slightly nauseous most days.

At first he thought it was just the food you had had the night before when it first happened, but now he can’t understand it. Maybe it’s low blood cell count. You did tell him a few weeks ago that you had been suffering from anemia on and off for years. So maybe that was it. But you can’t let the weight gain go and it genuinely breaks his heart when he sees you stare at yourself in the mirror a little longer than usual, wordlessly picking apart every flaw you saw.

“Honeycomb, I'm home.” He says jokingly, taking a seat in front of your yoga mat. You don’t look up at him, ignoring him as you follow along with the video, shifting from a downward dog pose, to a plank pose and then lowering down to a cobra. He only knows these names because he’s been in this position many times both morning and night. At some point he’s even considered joining you himself. But he enjoys watching you more.

When your eyes meet his, his smile drops. Your eyes are red rimmed, your face is puffy. If he didn’t know you the way he does, he’d think it was because of the yoga, but he knows better. And he knows that you’ve been crying.

“What’s wro-”

“I’m pregnant.” You interrupt him as you push back into a childs pose, like you didn’t just drop an entire bomb on him.

He’s speechless, his body feels like it's vibrating at a thousand milliseconds per minute. He feels the entire world dropping on top of his shoulders. His thoughts birthing ones that he had never had before. He knew what he promised you the night of Namjoon and Jiwoo’s. He somewhat knew what it would entail, but after so many negative pregnancy tests he thought it would take a little while longer.

He liked what the two of you had. He liked that even if the two of you didn’t have a label it still felt like you did. He liked being able to call you his. He liked coming home to you and waking up to you. He liked listening to your thoughts and feelings. He liked the way you listened to him without judgment. But most importantly he liked that it was just the two of you for now. That one day there would be a perfect little creation of the two of you. Of the love that the two of you share for each other, even if it’s not expressed with words. His actions and your actions towards each other spoke louder than any words.

So why isn’t he excited? And most importantly why is he absolutely terrified?

“W-What?” He chokes out, blinking back tears. He wants to reach out to you and hug you but at the same time he wants to pull away, walk out the door and never come back. He’s going to be a father and knew that’s what would happen when he agreed to give you a baby. But he’s so fucked up in every sense of the word. He wouldn’t know the first thing about father hood, even if it slapped him in the face because he never had one growing up.

His father was absent while still being in his life. He loved alcohol more than he loved Taehyung and he blamed his mother’s death on the poor ten year old boy that didn’t understand what death was. Would he be a good father? Would he be just like his? Would he turn back to alcohol? He did that every time life got overwhelming for him. He would drown himself until he didn’t know his left from his right. And now that’s what he’s most afraid of, and he doesn’t want to go back, especially when you’re involved now.

You sit up, eyes watering at his lack of reaction and you almost feel like he’s going to leave. Come back the same way he came in. But instead he just stares at you with wide and tearful eyes. “I’m pregnant Tae, I’m fucking pregnant and I’m terrified.” You hiccup, digging your nails into your thighs.

It’s like someone is controlling him because as soon as he registers what you just told him. He scrambles and practically jumps to you. He wraps his arms around you and brings you into his chest. And that’s when the two of you finally let go. A jumble of emotions escaping the two of you, both filled with doubts and hopes. And even though he wants to run away and never look back, he wants to stay with you more than anything in the world; because in those moments he promises you and the little life growing inside of you the entire world.

He will never let you down.

“I-It’s okay sweets, I’m here. I will always be here.” He whispers into your hair, unknowingly aware that his words are filled with empty promises. But that’s something he will come to realize later on in life.

“I can’t believe you told me while you were doing yoga.” He whispers, a smile playing on his lips as he feels you shift around in his chest. The two of you have moved from your pastel yellow yoga mat to your bed.

Since he’s hugged you, he hasn’t let you go. Nor do you want him too. “I didn’t know how else to tell you.” You roll onto your stomach, half of your lower body on top of his. “I was literally a mess before you came home so I thought yoga would help me calm down but it didn’t.” You smile. Although your face is still swollen, you do look lighter. Almost like a weight has been lifted off from your shoulders. He’s not sure if it's the maternal glow but you look prettier than this morning. Then again you always look prettier than from the last time he’s seen you. It’s like you never stop getting pretty to him and it literally drives him insane.

“Well did it help?” He lifts his head up just enough to meet your eyes. He has to stop himself from kissing you because he knows he won’t be able to stop and it will lead to more. And right now he’s not sure if he can let himself go just like that because what if it hurts the baby?

He’d have to google it when you’re not around. Actually he’d have to google a lot of things and buy a lot of books because even though he feels like he can’t do this. The whole father thing. He wants to do this because he’s with you and he’s hopelessly in love with you. He has been since the moment he met you in Namjoon and Hoseok’s apartment.

You shake your head, planting a quick kiss on his lips. “Nope, I was practically shaking when I heard you come in.” You smile resting your chin on a closed fist on top of his chest.

He chuckles, bringing a hand up and pushing the fallen pieces of hair away from your forehead. “You looked pretty stable in your Chaturanga.” He teases playing with your earring. It sends a shiver down your spine. In fact, his touch never fails to make you crumble, and right now it was no exception.

“I was fucking terrified you’d run away.” You confess and it hits him like a truck, listening to how right you were.

He nods, and wraps his arms around your torso pulling you on top of him. Your arms on either side of his head and he cradles your cheeks. “I thought about it. I know I told you I would do this with you but hearing you say those two words tonight made it so much more real for me. Baby I don’t know the first thing about being a father. I didn’t really have a father growing up because I was always his last choice. So I’m fucking terrified. But I made you a promise and I will stick to that promise no matter what. I’m here for you and our baby. It will be a lot of trial and error but I’m never going anywhere. I–.” He stops himself and grabs a hold of your chin. He’s on the verge of saying the big “L” word. Actually he’s been on the verge of saying it for a while now but something keeps holding him back.

“You’re special to me, you mean the world to me and if I have to walk through fire for you and our baby. I will.” Taehyung whispers before closing the gap between the two of you, letting his lips finally mold against yours. He loves you and one day he will be less of a coward to finally tell you but for now he hopes that you can feel it with every word and touch he gives you.

You pull away after what feels like an eternity, pressing your body into his and snuggling against his chest. “I don’t know the first thing about being a mom either, but if you’re here with me I think I can do it.” You say more into the empty spaces of your room. “Plus, I think you’d be a great dad.” You finish wrapping your arms tighter around him to reassure him.

He doesn’t know that you know mostly everything about his past. He doesn’t know that you have somewhat figured it out yourself. But you won’t tell him until he’s ready to tell you. After all it’s his story, not yours. You just hope that one day he knows just how much you mean to him. How much you love him and finally lets his past go to make room for you.

“How do you know that?” He’s confused.

You leave a small peck against his clothed chest before lifting your head up enough to look at him. “Well you didn’t run away like you wanted to. You stayed and that tells me that you want to try for me and the baby. Just trying is enough to let me know that you will never stop. And that’s already more than what your father did for you.” You bring your hand up pushing his hair back, avoiding his gaze for another second before you finally burn your soulful eyes into his surprised ones. “You’re already a better father than he will ever be Tae because you stayed and that’s enough for us.”

That does it. The realization comes rushing over him like a tidal wave. It seals the deal and makes all his doubts go away. He’s never loved anyone as much as he loves you. Not even himself. Although he knows he shouldn’t place this burden on you he knows that the only way he will heal is with you. His heart had already started to mend the second he met you and it hasn’t stopped. Now he thinks it won’t stop because you’re giving him the most precious gift anyone has ever given him.

An opportunity, a promise and a little soul that’s both equal parts you and him.

He hopes he doesn’t fuck it up.

a/n pt.2: pls let me know your thoughts it would mean the world to me <3

Check out my latest work: Love Letter To Miami: jhs

[yeowangies]

In the garden

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/Reader RATING: Teen and up CONTENTS: AU-Fantasy, Royalty, Medieval, Romance, Fluff, Attempt at humor. WARNINGS: A ship I'm not including in the content because I want it to be a surprise but also not everyone likes it so. yeah. WORDCOUNT: 10090

Summary:

Raditz has interacted only a handful of times with you, the princess of this kingdom. And he does find you attractive and nice, which is hard to find in royalty. But he’s also positive Vegeta intends to marry you.

Notes:

This is made for Radship week 2023, day 5, with the prompts wedding, biting, and princess. I included references to all the prompts so I feel happy! I think Raditz might be a bit ooc, but it's an au... I'm allowed right?

This is a magical medieval setting AU, and I'm just sooooo fond of this. I'm so happy with this fic, and for once it's the first fic I write that doesn't have smut lmao, it's already long so I decided against it, and it's perfect like this to be honest.

There's a side pairing here that maybe not a lot of people will like but. I love them so. Tell me what tag applies to 'side pairing without spoiler' please lmao.

Raditz shifts from one foot to another, nervous, trying very hard not to pace as he stands in the garden, outside the castle, by himself. Apparently pacing isn’t something ‘ceremonious’ to do. His tail bristles inevitably, but luckily it’s hidden underneath the extravagant armor he’s currently wearing.

When the Saiyans returned from war against Frieza and his army, they were met with ovations from all different lands, royalty inviting them for balls and ceremonial parties that he frankly cared little about. The war against one of the biggest tyrants in the world was over, and that deserved celebration for sure, but he wasn’t made to meet Dukes and Lords or to act courtly. He isn’t so sure he can even speak formally.

Prince Vegeta has dragged him into this fancy ball, after all Raditz is one of his commanders, and a significant part in that final battle. But the Prince, and his brother Kakarot, are certainly the center of attention. Kakarot is even less of a ceremonial kind of guy than he is, but food would keep him entertained. Raditz isn’t as carefree. The King and his daughter are there, and that makes him a little nervous. 

He has interacted only a handful of times with you, the princess of this kingdom. And he does find you attractive and nice, which is hard to find in royalty. But he’s also positive Vegeta intends to marry you. Not for something as ridiculous as love, but because it would give him even more power and would expand his dominion outside Saiyan territory. Saiyans belong to a small land after all, no matter how powerful they are. All because of Frieza; though that matter has been settled. Returning the Saiyans to their original glorious kingdom would take time. And that would begin with Vegeta’s marriage to you.

Even if Vegeta doesn’t have the intention of tying the knot, your royal status would suffice to keep Raditz away. He’s a Commander, a military rank, but still a commoner, and you’re a Princess, direct heir to the throne of your kingdom. He doesn’t know the rules, but he’s certain any kind of affair is not allowed.

Raditz sighs, uncomfortable wearing this fancy battle armor. He even had to tie his hair, apparently it isn’t fancy to have it flowing around. 

It’s not like he’s in love or anything. He has hardly talked to you. 

Reluctantly, he makes his way inside to the castle, knowing that the banquet is about to start.

*

Looking around the room, you quickly distinguish the Saiyans, or some of them, hanging around on the side, near the table where food is still being served. They’re known for their huge appetites, and watching them from afar, you confirm it. The Prince seems to be more delicate when it comes to eating, but not his subordinates. It amuses you more than you expect. 

You make your way towards them, people around moving out of the way and bowing profoundly when they notice it’s you, the princess, walking by. Prince Vegeta notices you first, elbowing Kakarot in the ribs, signaling him to stop eating so he can turn to you and bow. 

“There’s no need for that,” You quickly tell them, smiling when you notice Kakarot is splurting loudly. “Apologies for interrupting your meal.”

“It’s okay,” Kakarot musters in between quiet coughs. 

“Food won’t be going anywhere, I know His Majesty wouldn’t allow it.” Vegeta adds, glaring at his companion from the side.

“That’s true, especially for you, the Saiyans who defeated Frieza.” You smile at Vegeta, and he smirks right back.

“How generous.”

Vegeta’s way of speech is conceited and arrogant, even when he isn’t being outright rude, and it truly amuses you. Almost no one speaks to you that way, and it’s refreshing finding someone who does. It’s obvious he behaves like that because he’s a Prince, and because he can snap someone’s neck if he wants to. 

You look behind him. Raditz, his Commander, is standing on the far end of the table, talking to another bigger Saiyan. You want to talk to him, but you’re not exactly sure how to approach him.

Vegeta follows your eyes, and smirks knowingly. 

“Raditz, Nappa.” He calls for them loudly enough, making them turn towards your direction. “Get over here now.”

They do as told, looking a little on the nervous side as they bow to you. 

“I’ve been told your performance in that battle was impeccable,” You glance at them, including Kakarot, who’s still eating but facing you. “I’m impressed.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Nappa replies, bowing once more, and you still have to strain your neck a bit to meet his eyes with how tall he is. 

“It’s in your routine to spar often, isn’t that correct? I would love to be able to watch sometime.”

“That won’t be an issue.” Vegeta says.

You glance at Raditz, standing next to Nappa, looking very stiff. 

“Are you enjoying the banquet, Commander?” You ask him directly, and his eyes finally fix on you.

“I am, Your Highness, I most deeply appreciate your efforts in all this luxury.”

His speech sounds forced and incredibly over rehearsed. The few times in the past you have talked to him, he rarely sounded like that.

“You don’t have to be so formal with me.” You giggle lightly. “After all, you’re Prince Vegeta’s Commander, and you saved all seven kingdoms. All Saiyans did, of course.”

Raditz opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, seemingly deciding what to say to your request.

“I wouldn’t dare to disrespect you in any way, Your Highness.”

You pout. 

“Do not mind him, Your Highness,” Nappa cuts in, obviously taking in your offer of informal speech around you. “He must not be drunk enough to speak normally, but give him a minute.”

Raditz snorts, and Nappa laughs at his expense. Vegeta notices that you’re stealing glances at his Commander, keeping his eyes on you before speaking.

“Your Highness, a word.” 

Vegeta gestures to the door that leads to the garden, and you nod. 

Walking ahead, you lead your way out towards the hall and onto the enormous garden adorning your palace. Stepping into it, your maid follows you closely behind until you gesture for her to stop. You trail behind Vegeta as he keeps walking ahead until he calls you by your name, without honorifics, to make you stop in your tracks.

“What is it, Vegeta?”

“It is not in my plans to marry anyone in the future.”

You blink.

“Alright… ?”

“I know your father intends for us to wed.”

“Yes, that’s what he expects, he mentioned that before.”

“I will not marry you.”

You stare at him for a second, a little confused. His expression remains stoic, not giving away any kind of thought.

“You won’t?”

“No. My idea of my kingdom going back to its original glory does not include marriage. I will not be sharing my throne with a consort.” He grins knowingly when you snort, amused at his words. “You do not wish to be married, either.”

“Maybe I don’t.”

“You do not wish to be married to me.”

Doubting whether or not to be explicitly rude, you settle with honesty, considering how the tone in the conversation is going.

“No offense, but… no.”

“None taken.” Vegeta eyes you up and down briefly, and his smirk grows wider. “My Commander is another story, however.”

“I do not know what you mean.” There’s a rush of blood traveling to your face, and you hope the darkness of the garden hides it well.

“Raditz is an idiot for not realizing how much you stare at him, and it’s irritating me.”

“Don’t call him that.” You scoff.

“What do you think about marrying him, then?” 

You bite your lip. You have thought about it before, obviously. But you know very well that your father will not be happy with that kind of union.

“He would not become royalty, not even a prince consort.” Vegeta informs you. As if you don’t already know.

“I don’t care about that.”

“And if you two have children, they wouldn’t be royalty either.”

“I… I truly do not care.” Vegeta quirks an eyebrow at your response. “I really don’t… I even thought about giving up my title.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“All of this is pointless because it’s not like I talked to Raditz with any intention yet.”

“Yes, he’s not the only idiot.” Vegeta snorts when you glare at him. “Do not give up your title. I was going to offer you something different.”

“Oh?”

“Marry him. He may not be royalty, but his entire family is Elite in our kingdom. He has his own fief, and you can settle there if you so wish.”

You gape at him. Vegeta seems to have given this situation a lot of thought. More than you had. 

“Wha-What do you-”

“What do you say? Do you wish for me to inform him of his engagement to the princess?” He asks you sarcastically, after a minute of silence.

“N-No! You can’t do that! What if he doesn’t want to marry?”

“I’ll force him.”

“Vegeta!”

He chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Feel free to pursue him then.”

“What do you get from all this? I can’t believe you’re doing this out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Of course not. I do not waste my time with sentimentality.”

“So?” 

“I oppose getting married myself, but an union between my high rank soldiers and other royals benefits my kingdom. And I tolerate you enough to not be opposed to your union with my Commander.”

That’s the closest comment to a compliment you’ll ever get from Vegeta, and it makes you smile. 

“That was almost a nice thing to say.”

“Hurry up and tie the knot with the idiot before he finds someone else.”

Vegeta turns around to walk back to the ball, and you stare at his back for a second, completely offended.

“Hold on!” You catch up to him and grab his forearm to stop him. “You’re not gonna tell him about any of this, are you?”

“Of course not.” He scoffs, shrugging off your hand. “You want to confess your feelings? Be my guest.”

With that, Vegeta walks off, leaving you a little confused, but also a little hopeful.

*

“Good afternoon, Commander.”

Raditz practically jumps from his seat when he hears your voice. He’s taking a break from sparring, and he was almost on the verge of dozing off when you caught him off guard. 

“Your Highness.” He stands up at once, bowing exaggeratedly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was bothering you.”

“No, please! I shouldn’t-”

He shouldn’t what? Almost fall asleep in the garden? He isn’t good at formal speech, he doesn’t know what the right thing to say is in this situation. You smile sweetly at him, and that reassures him enough. 

“May I sit with you?”

Raditz nods eagerly, and moves to the side to let you accommodate next to him. He catches sight of your maid standing several feet behind you. As a chaperone, obviously.

“How’s the spar going?”

“Good… We tend to go pretty rough on each other, even if it’s practice.” He comments when he notices you’re checking out the couple of bruises on his arms. 

“Wouldn’t this be a good time to rest? You did a great campaign after all.”

“Yeah, I mean-” He clears his throat, starting his sentence again in a more appropriate tone. “Your Highness has nothing to worry about.”

“You don’t have to be so formal with me.” Your smile grows wider and you inch closer to him.

“But, it’s not-”

“I will be informal with you if you’re informal with me.”

Raditz stares at you, at your smile, and he finds it genuine. He hasn’t met many royals, but he’s not sure all of them are as honest in their ways as you are. At least from the few interactions he’s had with you.

“Alright, sounds good.” He smirks, his shoulders easing a little bit of the tension they were holding. 

“Good.” You grin, meeting his eyes briefly. “So, I suppose all these bruises are a common occurrence?

“Pretty much. If we want to be better for a real battle, we gotta train like it’s a real battle.”

“Of course. Do you ever take breaks?”

“I’m taking one right now.”

“No,” You chuckle when he smiles teasingly. “I mean, days off? You deserve it.”

“We will once we’re back home for sure. We still have to celebrate with our people.”

“Oh… Do you know when you’re leaving?”

Raditz pays close attention to your expression, because he’s positive he feels some sadness in your tone. 

“It’s not certain. In a month, at most.”

“I’ll try to make your stay as pleasant as possible until then.”

“Your Highness already makes everything pleasant.”

His words make his cheeks flush a little, and he clears his throat awkwardly, but your smile only grows wider at his words.

“I meant no disrespect…”

“Oh, please! Your words were sweet, I appreciate them.”

When you put your hand over his, Raditz feels like electricity traveling through his body, just by that simple gesture alone. 

Is it okay to feel like this? After all, you’re supposed to marry Vegeta. It hasn’t been announced yet, but it’s going to be a matter of time. Why else were they staying in the palace if not for that? Raditz quickly moves his hand away.

“I apologize, Your Highness, I must return to my training.” He stands up to leave, noticing the look of confusion in your eyes. He pauses and turns to you with the intention of not being perceived as rude. “I will escort you back to the palace if you desire.”

“I want to watch your sparring matches, if that’s okay.” You stand up next to him, and even though you do not even reach his shoulder, your attitude makes up for your height. 

“It’s going to be bloody, and it’s no place for a lady-”

“I think I can handle it.” You put your hands on your hips, determined.

You’re making it harder for him to resist your charms, even when you’re just talking to him; he knows he’s going to get sloppy during training if you’re there, watching. Raditz nods at last, and offers his arm for you to take. You accept it, putting your hand on his arm, smiling a little shyly as you make your way to the training grounds, the maid accompanying you from afar.

He should have known better, though, and he feels like an idiot after his first spar with Kakarot. 

“Hey, Raditz, you okay?” Kakarot asks, trailing behind him, obviously worried. 

“I’m fine.” Raditz spits.

He’s more angry with himself than with his brother. He insisted on sparring with Kakarot when he knows he’s just as strong as Vegeta, meaning he can kick his ass. He got a very ugly cut on his chest as a result, and while it hurts like hell, it will heal fast; he’s a Saiyan after all. 

But the humiliation he feels because you watch him get his ass kicked, that will sting for far longer than that cut.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you that bad-”

“I know you didn’t, you idiot!” Raditz stops in his tracks and turns to his brother.

“Then why are you so angry?!”

“Because-!” Raditz is opening his mouth, considering his words, and wondering if he should tell his brother how he feels. Kakarot can not keep a secret to save his life, he’s too carefree. 

“This isn’t about the sparring match, is it?” He asks. He can also be perceptive when he wants to be.

“I did not want to lose so stupidly when she was there.”

“Who?”

“The princess.” He murmurs. 

“The princess?” Kakarot asks for confirmation, way too loud for Raditz’s taste.

“Keep your fucking voice down!”

“Oh!” His brother covers his mouth briefly, before speaking again in a lower tone. “Why the princess?”

“Because… Because she’s the princess. She must think I’m a fucking loser.”

“I don’t think she does, she seems nice everytime we talk.”

“Yeah, well, not after she saw my sloppy moves out there.”

“Why do you care so much? It’s not like we’re gonna see her often after this.”

Raditz falters. He knows why he cares, but explaining why is going to be difficult if he doesn’t want to give himself away. There’s a few seconds of silence as he tries to organize his thoughts, but Kakarot’s eyes are fixed on him, and his clueless expression soon turns into mischievous eyes and a knowing smile.

“You like her!”

“Shut up! Of course I don’t!”

“Why are you all red then?” Raditz punches Kakarot in the arm, making him cry out at the sudden violence. “Why’d you do that?!”

“Because you’re nosy and annoying.”

Raditz turns to leave, but Kakarot is still right behind him as they walk back to their rooms.

“Hey, wait! Do you really like her, then?”

“Of course I don’t!”

“Yeah, right.” He scoffs, looking at Raditz with a playful gaze. “I don’t understand why you’re so mad, it’s good to like someone, right?”

“You’re an idiot.” Raditz breathes in deeply, trying to control his own temper. “She’s going to marry Vegeta.”

“Huh?”

“What you heard.”

“But… he hasn’t said anything about that?”

“Yet. It’s only a matter of time.”

Kakarot scratches the back of his head, obviously confused. 

“That can’t be true.”

“I know what I’m telling you, Kakarot. Why else are we staying in this palace for a month? He wants to marry her, for political reasons, obviously.”

Raditz can’t figure out his brother’s expression. He seems hurt but he doesn’t know why.

“I think you’re wrong…” He says quietly.

“Just wait and see.” Raditz tells him before walking away. Kakarot doesn’t follow him this time. 

*

You see Raditz walking, or more like striding, down the great hall of the palace, and you sprint to him at once. Since he got injured earlier that day, you were worried, and you tried to look for him to see how he’s doing; you’re glad you saw him walking by. He notices you quickly, slowing down as you catch up to him. 

“How are you doing, Commander?” You ask, a little out of breath. Trotting with heels and a gigantic dress must count as an exercise on its own.

“I’m fine,” Raditz eyes you with an amused smile on his lips. “How are you, Your Highness?”

“I’m out of shape, I know it must be hilarious,” You retort, rolling your eyes. “Try walking around in this enormous attire and we’ll see how you do.”

“You must know, Your Highness, that our battle armor weighs about 50 kg.” He chuckles when your mouth drops open. “So believe me, I know what it's like walking around in heavy clothes.”

“I had no idea…” You walk by his side through the long hall, repressing the urge to wrap your arm around his. “I only ever held a sword once, and it wasn’t as heavy as I thought it would be.”

“Every sword is different. Vegeta’s is probably the heaviest. But you didn’t run to me to talk about this, did you?”

“You got a very unpleasant injury earlier, are you alright?”

Raditz sighs loudly, and it makes you worry a little, and it doesn’t help that he looks uneasy and tense when you ask.

“I’m fine. We Saiyans heal a lot faster than normal people, this is nothing.”

“Have you gone to the infirmary?”

“I got a bandage, just so I don’t bleed through my clothes.”

“If there’s anything else you need, let me know, please.” 

You cannot help putting your hand on his forearm, reassuringly squeezing him there. Touching Raditz, or any man, is frowned upon, especially because you’re alone with him. Then again, you are alone, so no one can judge you. The gesture only lasts a couple of seconds before you withdraw your hand. Touching is not a courting sign, but you want to convey your feelings towards him somehow. Especially now, when he’s injured. 

He’s looking at you curiously for a second before offering you a small smile. 

“There’s nothing to worry about, Your Highness.”

“I trust your word, Commander.”

Reaching the gardens, he stops by the stairs before turning to you.

“I had to get back, thank you for your concern.” 

“Would you like it if I sent in more food to your residence?”

“That would be incredible, we’d be more than grateful.” He grins widely, and you return his smile.

“I’ll arrange for it at once!”

Raditz nods, still keeping the smile on his face, and bows, before leaving. 

The Saiyans don’t always eat at the palace during their stay, unless the King invites them to join him. And you and the King don’t even eat together every time either, sometimes it’s just you, eating alone. 

You wished you could have dinner with Raditz, at least once. 

The customs about courtship are so stupid. A man has to make the first move? You cannot touch each other until there’s an official engagement? It’s not like you wanted to have intimate relations five minutes after meeting him (though somewhere in another lifetime, you probably would have). He isn’t going to pursue you because he’s a commoner and you’re a princess, and that’s just even more stupid. 

At least you hope you made your intentions clear by touching his arm, that’s as explicit as you can get.

*

Raditz suspects something must be going on if Vegeta hasn’t announced his engagement to you yet. If they are to stay for almost a month, he would assume it would happen sooner than later. Why wait all this time? Vegeta doesn’t even need to court you, he’s a Prince and you’re a Princess, these arrangements happen all the time.

But still, not one word. It did surprise him a bit when Kakarot thought it was impossible for such a thing to even happen. He may not be the brightest person, but he is Vegeta’s right hand man, he should know something. 

If anything, Raditz is confused after you had deliberately touched him when you were alone. He knows social courting rules well enough, that was something that would have been social suicide for you. Stupid rules, if he had a say in them. Why should you be affected by such a thing? And even if some other man were to touch you without your consent, the one with a ruined reputation would be you. 

So why did you touch him? It can’t be what he’s thinking about… Right?

It’s more than obvious that Raditz likes you. Incredibly obvious if Kakarot of all people noticed. So you must know. But that can’t be right; Vegeta is supposed to marry you, after all.

He rubs his temples as he walks down the corridor of their residence. The skin of his arm where you touched him earlier tingles. He isn’t so innocent as to let himself be affected by a single touch of a hand in such a chaste place, but he has also been thinking way too much about you to let it slide. It was as if your fingers had burned right through his skin. And it certainly made blood rush to certain places. 

A door suddenly bursting open brings him back from his inappropriate thoughts, and he watches Kakarot storm out of Vegeta’s room. He can’t see his face clearly, but his body language indicates he’s pissed. 

“I’ll fucking kill you if you come close to me again!” Vegeta actually steps out of his room to yell at him, apparently equally angry. 

Raditz freezes into place. He has seen them fight before, verbally and physically. And he knew Vegeta well enough to know when his threats were just bark and no bite. This time, however, he sounds genuinely irate. And Kakarot never seemed as tense either, even if he can only watch his back as he practically strides away.

Other Saiyans have either stuck their heads out of their own rooms, or turned to watch from their places in the corridor. Vegeta notices the attention with a brief glance around, and turns to walk inside his room again.

“Don’t you have anything else to do, or do you all have a death wish?!” He yells with a sharp edge on his voice Raditz has rarely heard.

Most men scurry as soon as Vegeta’s words leave his lips, but Raditz remains static, utterly confused.

What just happened?

He knows better than to ask Vegeta about it. He tries to go after Kakarot, walking quickly to catch up to him, only to see him practically running away into the training grounds. Raditz gives up on him then; Kakarot wants to get rid of his anger with violence, and he doesn’t blame him at all, but he doesn’t want to be on the receiving end either.

‘If you come close to me again’, that’s what Vegeta said. What did he even mean?

Raditz has enough of his own issues to be thinking about the possible implications of those words, so he simply turns towards his own room to take a bath. He much rather be thinking about you than what he just witnessed. 

*

This time, you chose a secure, hidden spot to watch Raditz train. He seemed on edge when you told him you wanted to watch their sparring matches, so maybe if he doesn’t know you're there, he wouldn’t be so tense. 

You can’t help yourself. It’s ridiculous how attractive he is, especially when he seems so focused on training he forgets about everything else. The taunting words towards his opponent, his confident smirk, even the sweat dripping down the side of his face. All of it draws you to him.

Your cheeks flush when Raditz wins his match and grins triumphantly. You take a minute to calm down as you watch him walk towards the side of the training grounds, pouring water over his face and running his fingers through his wild mane. You might need more than a minute to compose yourself after such a sight, but you slowly approach him. 

“Commander.” You call for him, a few feet away from him now.

Raditz turns towards you, obviously completely taken aback by your presence if the look in his eyes is any indication.

“Your Highness,” He bows before running a hand up his hair, like trying to put it into some kind of order, but obviously failing. Still adorable. “What brings you here?”

“I just wanted to watch you train again.”

He blushes slightly at your words, and you smile widely.

“I… Did you enjoy the match?” Raditz asks, still seemingly nervous.

“Of course, I couldn’t avert my eyes.” You grin smugly when you watch the color on his cheeks intensify. So he is affected by your attention. “You fight really well. You’re the Commander after all.”

“You don’t need to compliment me, Your Highness.” He says, lowering his gaze, clearly flustered. 

“It’s only the truth,” You eye him carefully, checking some bruises he obviously just got, even if he won. “Are you hurt?”

“They’re superficial wounds, they'll heal in no time.”

“Saiyans are truly impressive, I wish I could have that ability.”

“Your Highness won’t be going to battle any time soon.” Raditz teases you with a small smirk, and you smile in return.

“I might if I could heal that fast!”

“I don’t think it would be wise for you, with all due respect. You seem too delicate for battle.”

“Delicate?” You cross your arms, feigning offense. “I’m tougher than you might think.”

“Maybe. Your beauty would distract the enemies enough, that’s for sure.”

Your eyes open wide momentarily, and you watch him comically blush again. It has obviously been a slip, but you’re glad it happened. 

“I-I meant that-”

“Please, if you take back your words, I will be offended, Commander.” It’s your turn to tease him, and he sighs loudly. 

“I wasn’t… I meant that with the utmost respect.”

You smile as gently as you could without letting your own feelings make you practically jump in the air. You don’t care about compliments about your appearance, most of them are just trying to flatter you for the sake of it, but you do care when it comes from Raditz. Especially when he so openly blushes like that. 

“I did not take offense,” You feel a little bold after seeing his reaction so you go on. “But I hope that respect is not the only way you think of me.”

Raditz blinks and stutters, taken aback as he tries to find the right words to say, and you watch his face contort in confusion, surprise and fluster, with amusement. 

“I-I-I’m not… sure what you mean…”

You huff, glancing around quickly. There aren’t many people nearby, only your maid, a couple of feet away, obviously keeping an eye on you, but she still couldn’t listen to your conversation. You lean in a little closer, watching Raditz blush again at your proximity. 

“I think you know what I mean, Commander.”

“Your Highness, I wouldn’t dare-”

“Please!” You whisper this time, trying to make this conversation even more private than what it is, so you can finally get your point across. “I don’t want to believe that you’re this ignorant of my affection.”

Raditz gapes at you, considering the implication of your words before speaking again.

“I don’t think we should be talking about this here, of all places. Or at all. You’re putting yourself and me in a difficult position.” He takes a step back just as other Saiyans walk into the room with boisterous screams. 

“Why?!”

“I must go.” 

Raditz leaves hurriedly without giving you an answer.

You stare at his back until you can no longer see him, pouting angrily before turning to leave yourself.

Why is he playing hard to get? You don’t understand. He obviously likes you, you have seen it in his eyes, in his gestures and in the pink hue of his cheeks whenever you get too close. You refuse to give up until you get a straight answer, which is difficult to do when there’s always one of your maids, or soldiers, or Saiyans around. You need to be completely alone with him, somehow.

A few days later, there’s another Ball, organized of course by your Father, with a little convincing from your part. You know where the Saiyans usually are, when some of them are not trying to woo some of the ladies from the court, and that’s by the banquet table. Vegeta is talking to your Father on the other side of the room, Raditz is near the table by the door that leads to the garden, and Kakarot is eating to his heart’s content near his brother. 

This is the moment you’re waiting, so you casually approach Kakarot.

“Your Highness!” He exclaims with his mouth full the moment he sees you. You smile sweetly at him, not caring at all about his lack of manners. 

“Can you do me a favor?” You cut to the chase, and lock eyes with him as he swallows down the food in his mouth.

Minutes later, the table that has been laid out for the food is abruptly split in half ‘accidentally’ by Kakarot, causing deafening noises of silverware breaking inevitably, along with people screaming in shock at the sudden sound. The maids currently nearby you are shocked and rapidly rush to help clean up the mess, so you take the opportunity to make your move.

Raditz turns to his brother like he’s ready to kill him for such an accident, but you were quick to be only a few feet away from him when Kakarot broke the table, and you hastily grab his hand to drag him out the door. You know he’s shocked when he calls you by your name instead of an honorific, but he doesn’t actually make you stop dragging him. 

You take him out towards the garden, practically sprinting all the way towards one of the deepest, most private parts. You finally let go of him when you reach a particularly tall hedge with a seat on its side. 

“We can talk alone now.” You say to him, turning to face him. 

To your own surprise, he seems more than just taken aback. Impressed, even. 

“I-I told your brother to do that,” You feel the need to explain when his eyes bore holes right through you. “I needed to be alone with you… To talk…”

“You are daring, I give you that… Your Highness.” 

You offer him a half smile before urging him to sit down on the bench. He is way too tall and would stand out from afar. Sitting down next to him, you open your mouth to speak, but he talks first.

“This isn’t a good idea. If anyone sees us-”

“I don’t care.” You interrupt him. 

“Your Highness-”

“Let’s be honest for a second, alright? We’re alone, after all.”

Raditz visibly tenses, and his eyes remain on your face. You feel like blushing the more he stares, and you probably are after a few seconds pass, but you refuse to let your embarrassment get to you. 

“You’re right.” He says, breaking the silence. 

“Sorry?”

“You’re right. I’m not that ignorant about how you treat me.”

“Oh… Then-”

“I can’t return it.”

You balk only for a moment before glaring at him.

“I like you. A lot.” Your face heats up quickly when you say those words, but to your relief, his face also turns a vivid shade of red that only emboldens you. “I enjoy your company. I enjoy seeing you train, especially when you don’t know I’m watching you. You are… incredibly handsome. And while I find it adorable that you get so nervous around me, I also know you’re not like that all the time.”

It confirms what you already know the more you speak, as Raditz’s face gets more flushed by the second. He does like you and he is attracted to you. He’s obviously embarrassed, though, as he looks down at the floor and then to the side after you’re done speaking.

“Your Highness-”

“Don’t you dare lie to me.”

“You’re truly something, Princess.” Raditz is once again taken aback by your words. The blush fades, and he smirks at you, making your heart flutter. “Since you were so painfully honest, I suppose I own you that much.”

You smile, staring up at him as you wait patiently.

“You have been on my mind since the second I saw you, and you’ve done nothing but implant yourself in my thoughts the more we talked.” Your smile grows inevitably until Raditz’s expression turns stern as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “But there’s nothing we can do.”

“…What do you mean?”

“You’re the Princess.”

“I know.” You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to explain to him that you have thought this through. “I considered everything about our circumstances. I-”

“Then you must know that I can’t be with you.”

“Yes, you can.” You frown.

“Your Highness,” You roll your eyes when you realize he’s going to start talking to you formally once more. “I can’t do this. You’re going to marry Prince Vegeta-”

“What?”

“-And I can’t betray him like that. I’m the Commander in his army, I can’t touch his future wife, no matter what I feel. Not matter if your marriage is political or not-”

“Commander!” You call for him, hoping that he would stop talking to let you clarify the situation.

“If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t say no to you right now.” Raditz goes on, and you let him this time, a little amused at his confession. “Believe me, I’m not sure I even like Prince Vegeta that much, but I can’t do this to His Highness.”

“Raditz!” You call his name, and he does stop talking then. You snort, trying hard not to laugh at his words. “Okay, I can’t let you go on. I’m not marrying Prince Vegeta.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m not marrying Prince Vegeta.”

He blinks, staring down at you, processing your words.

“You’re not marrying him?” 

“No! Why did you think that?”

“I… Isn’t it obvious?”

“I suppose it is, but if I was going to marry him, it would have been announced by now. Besides, he doesn’t want to marry me.” Raditz frowns, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. “I don’t want to, either! But he said he’s going to support me if I choose to marry you.”

“He-He did?”

“Yes!” 

Raditz stares at you, bewildered and surprised, as he takes in your words. 

“I don’t understand… Wouldn’t a marriage benefit both of our kingdoms?”

“Yes, it would, but Vegeta wants things his way. He assured me, though, that if I desire to marry someone else in his army, he would support me.”

“That doesn’t sound like him.” Raditz arches an eyebrow.

“It would still benefit him politically anyway.” You say with a chuckle.

“Now, that sounds like him.” He smirks. 

You smile sweetly at him. His belief that Vegea was supposed to marry you was what was keeping him away. You’re relieved and amused at the situation; even if he did say he’s loyal to the Prince, he still clarified that he isn’t that fond of him anyway. You have to contain your giggle. 

“So I was stressing over nothing.” Raditz says, looking over at you.

“Yes.” You snicker.

“You think it’s funny, huh?”

“I do!”

Raditz lightly nudges your knee with his when you laugh, laughing quietly himself too after a moment. 

“You made me doubt myself.” You comment, looking at the ground. “I thought that you just didn’t have any affection for me.”

“How could I not? Our conversations only made it harder for me to resist you.” He smirks, eyes fixed on you when you turn your gaze towards him. 

You can’t contain your smile, your heart skipping several beats in the last few minutes, you might as well be having a heart attack. You almost do when you feel something soft and furry touch your arm, making you jump. Raditz chuckles quietly as you notice his tail, fully unwrapped, gently caressing your skin and holding your hand. You run your fingers through it, stroking it tenderly in return, and you hear a quiet purr coming from his chest. 

“I’ll talk to my father.” You say quietly, completely content as his tail unwraps itself from your hand, returning to its usual place around his waist. 

“No.” Raditz states, looking at you with a serious expression “I will. That’s the suitor’s duty. I will also talk to Prince Vegeta, you mentioned you spoke with him before, isn’t that right?”

“Yes. He actually thought this through more than I did.”

“He did, huh? Who would have thought he was a matchmaker?” He chuckles as you laugh quietly. Vegeta has truly been the centerpiece of your soon to be union. “We were that obvious.” 

“Apparently so.”

Your proximity is distracting you, there’s only a few inches in between your bodies, and you dare to keep your gaze fixed on his handsome face. Raditz is staring right back with intense eyes, and your face heats up quickly when you notice his gaze is aimed at your lips. 

You want to kiss him badly, and you lean a little closer towards him. But the commotion going on back at the banquet hall can still be heard, and it only makes you more nervous. And he notices, pulling back just as you do. 

“Commander,” You start in a soft voice, still blushing as you lower your eyes. “I don’t want my first kiss to be in front of diplomats and royalty on our wedding day. I hope we can be alone again, and soon.”

When his hand finds your chin to tilt your head up, you gape at him in surprise.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Raditz says, and it’s reassuring words, but his smirk and gaze promise something more. 

*

When Raditz talked to Vegeta, before he even approached the King, he did it with confidence, knowing that the Prince already knew about your mutual feelings since you had already talked to him. That didn’t stop him from getting annoyed that you two had taken too long to finally confess your affections to each other. 

Raditz didn’t tell him that was probably entirely his own fault.

Vegeta had actually planned this thoroughly. You moving in to his fief was his goal, it was a way of having the Princess in his Kingdom; he was betting on you not losing your royal status once you’re married, even when Raditz himself wouldn’t be royalty after your marriage. That was a long shot, but he didn’t care about that. He trusted you had thought this through as well. His fief isn’t poor by any means, and he’s going to work harder than usual if it means giving you more luxuries to live with. 

Talking to the King was probably one of the most difficult conversations he’s ever had. Raditz had an audience with him, alone. He’s an imposing man, concerned with your well being. And the political implications of such an union, obviously. He was stern, serious, and practically emotionless when Raditz confessed his feelings for you, promising that he’s going to care for you to the best of his abilities and even more beyond that. 

Raditz didn’t get a straight answer from the King, and when he stepped out of the room, you’re there, looking at him with bright eyes, as you gently touch his hand for a brief second, telling him wordlessly that if your father needs more convincing, you’re going to give it to him. 

Vegeta has an audience with the King after yours is finished, and by the next day, your engagement is official and public. 

All Saiyans congratulate him before he even knows the announcement has happened, and he’s a little bit relieved that apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought that Vegeta was meant to marry you. Except Kakarot.

“I told you, Vegeta didn’t even like her that way.” His brother comments to him on their way to the training grounds.

“Vegeta doesn’t like anyone that way, Kakarot.” Raditz rolls his eyes. 

“I don’t know about that, but I’m glad you got what you wanted.” He grins, nudging his side. “When’s the wedding?”

“I don’t know, she’s going to pick the date. I haven’t spoken to her today.”

“Man, I hope it’s soon. Would hate to go back to our Kingdom and then travel back here.”

Raditz considers what Kakarot said. A good point for once. 

He’s surprised to see you outside the training camps, later that day after he’s done sparring. He hesitates to approach you, knowing he’s drenched in sweat and dirt, but you beckon him with your eyes, smiling widely as you lean over one of the walls on the side, hidden from anyone who might walk by. 

You’re completely alone, too. That worries him and excites him at the same time. 

“What are you doing here, alone?” Raditz asks, looking you over, before turning to check if there’s truly no one around. 

“I came to see you, and talk to you.” You look up at him, still smiling when you touch his hand. 

“It’s dangerous.”

“Since when?” You frown, confused. “I’m the Princess, Raditz, if anyone touches me, it’s going to be a war.”

The way you say his name, not calling him ‘Commander’ for once, doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Precisely.”

“And since when are you this protective?” You smile, amused when he scoffs.

“I’ve always been like this, now I can freely express it.”

“Okay,” You chuckle, lightly threading your fingers with his. “I came to ask you about the wedding, when do you want it to be?”

“It’s the same for me.”

“Two weeks from now?”

Was that a long time? Or too little? Raditz has attended weddings before, but he has never paid attention. He shrugs, and you roll your eyes at him. 

“I’ll check with Prince Vegeta later to see if that’s okay.” You add.

“Why?”

“I want to move in to your fief soon afterwards, so I need to consult him on that too.”

“I like that.” Raditz smirks, leaning a bit closer as your smile grows wider. “What did your father say when you spoke to him?”

“The first thing he asked me was if I had lost my mind.” 

“That’s reassuring.” The grin on his face flattens, but you still look amused.

“But when I told him how I really feel, and that I wanted to marry you no matter what, even if it means losing my status-”

“He confirmed that you had actually lost your mind?” Raditz asks, raising an eyebrow.

“He seemed… happy.”

“Happy?”

“As much as he can get, I suppose. He seemed pleased with my words, and convinced about our union.”

Raditz nods, satisfied with what you were telling him. 

“We should have talked about this the other day, but are you sure you’re okay with marrying me, and possibly losing your title?”

“I don’t care about that.” You say, holding his hand firmly in yours. “I would be worried if you didn’t have a place to call home, but you do. I know we can make that place cozy for the both of us.”

Squeezing your hand in his, Raditz smiles, leaning a bit closer. 

“I’ll make it comfortable for you. You can buy whatever you desire, any luxury you wish to have-”

“I don’t care about that.” You emphasize, smiling. “Thank you, but I only want you.”

The moment calls for him to get even closer to you, to lean in and just kiss you, like you said you wanted just the other day. 

You’re startled a moment later, and Raditz turns to see some Saiyans walking out of the training grounds, boisterously laughing and bragging about some of their fighting moves. 

“When we finally get to our fief, I will tell everyone to fuck off so we can be truly alone for once.”

Your laughter makes him grin. When his heart flutters, he realizes he’s more fucked than he thought he was. 

“In all honesty, I find it adorable when you used to be nervous around me, but I knew this is how you really are.” You say, still laughing quietly. 

“You are rather mischievous too, aren’t you, Princess?” Raditz purrs that last word, making your cheeks blush slightly. “After all, you’re here without a chaperone.”

“I am.” You tug at his hand, drawing him closer.

Raditz takes in your sight. Your dress was a light, pastel color, looks almost immaculate on you, while he’s completely dirty.

“I’m going to ruin your dress.”

“I don’t care about the dress.” You say, exasperated. “Just kiss me. Please.”

He doesn’t need any more convincing. 

Carefully sliding his hands on your waist, Raditz leans down, gently pressing his lips to yours. You make a small content noise, smiling into the kiss and resting your hands on his chest. He wonders if you can feel his heart, beating enthusiastically inside his ribcage. 

Leaning his forehead against yours, you’re smiling brightly when he breaks the kiss. Raditz knows he’s smiling just the same.

“How was that for a first kiss?”

“I really liked it.” 

He’s surprised when you close the space between them and kiss him again. He doesn’t even fight it, his grip on your waist tightening as he holds you even closer, forgetting what he said about ruining your clothes. 

It’s just a simple kiss, he’s just pressing his lips to yours, saving the deeper kisses for when he can truly revel in your time alone. But he’s craving more so he pulls away after a while.

“You’re tempting me…” Raditz pants, reluctantly letting his hands fall to his side. 

“I’ll try to make the wedding take place as soon as possible.” You reassure him, snickering quietly. 

His eyes scan you, taking your hands in his and inspecting them as well.  

“Come, I’ll try to clean you up.”

“I’m fine, Raditz.”

He gently leads you around the building to get into one of the tents, his face heating up the more you use his real name. 

When Raditz walks in, he freezes when he sees Kakarot and Vegeta, with their arms wrapped around one another, heavily making out in the middle of the room, without a single care in the world. They immediately pull away the moment they realize you and Raditz had walked in, Vegeta turning completely red in record time.

“Kakarot?! Vegeta?!” Raditz exclaims, eyes ready to pop out of his face, forgetting to even use honorifics in his current state of shock.

“Now we know why he didn’t want to marry me.” You say, equally surprised, but smiling in amusement. 

“That had nothing to do with this!” Vegeta explains, his face glowing vibrantly.

“My own brother?! And the prince?!” Raditz says in astonishment. 

Kakarot remains silent, looking very awkward and blushing lightly across the cheeks, and you can’t contain your grin. 

“This is a popular kissing spot, apparently.” You comment, your eyes flicking between the three men, in various states of nervous shock. 

“How dare-What are you even doing here?!” Vegeta barks.

“But Vegeta and I always come here and we never run into anyone…” Kakarot says, making you snort.

Raditz is mortified with each passing second, and he feels the need to gouge out his eyes. 

“Kakarot, shut up! Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Vegeta grabs Kakarot’s wrist, dragging him out, before turning around. “Not a single word to anyone about this!”

“Likewise.” You smile, still entertained. 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t even want to see that.” Raditz replies, covering his face with his hands. 

Vegeta and Kakarot leave in a hurry, and Raditz groans, completely blindsided by what he just witnessed to utter a single word. 

“They look cute.” You comment, but he still can’t get his face out of his hands to see you. “You’re practically royalty now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re not only going to marry a princess, but your brother is also… involved with the prince.”

“Don’t even say it like that.” Raditz groans, now running his hands through his hair. 

“We both know it doesn’t matter how I word it, they’re already together.” You giggle.

Raditz realizes now all the little signals, and the things he had witnessed in the past, like that time he saw Kakarot storming out of Vegeta’s room; it was all there, but he has never thought it was possible for Kakarot and Vegeta to be together like that. 

“I should have known…” He murmurs. 

“Why? Did you see something before this?” You ask, intrigued.

“God, no… Let’s just get out of here.” Disregarding what he said about helping you get clean, Raditz grabs your hand and leads you outside.

“I hope you share the gossip once we’re alone again.” You grin playfully, threading your fingers through his as you walk to the palace. 

“Is that what you want to do when we’re alone?” Raditz asks, looking at you with the same mischievous gleam in his eyes. 

You only laugh in response, thrilling him more than ever. 

Getting the image of Kakarot and Vegeta out of his mind takes longer than he expects, but Raditz soon forgets about it the more often he gets to be alone with you. Apparently you had sneaked around the palace alone for years now, so you have no problem finding spots where you know you two won’t be bothered, and he gets to steal a few more kisses from your lips.

The King is not happy that the wedding takes place so soon, but he doesn’t try to change your mind, or so you tell Raditz. You seem eager for it to take place as soon as possible, and he can’t say anything, because he feels exactly the same. 

Raditz hasn’t realized how nervous he is until the wedding day when he wakes up and he’s surrounded by dozens of maids and servants helping him get into his ceremonial white clothes, which are apparently even more uncomfortable than the other fancy outfits he has to wear for banquets. Vegeta is just as annoyed as he is when he lectures him on protocol for the umpteenth time, reminding him again not to tug at his clothes, to walk slowly, and not to curse, no matter who speaks to him. Raditz already knew all that, and hearing it again only makes him more anxious.

He forgets about everything, how uncomfortable the attire is, and everything Vegeta told him about etiquette, when he sees you. Your dress is impressive, with a lot of details embroidered, but he isn’t paying attention to all that; he sees you smiling gorgeously underneath the veil, taking glances at him as the priest speaks. 

He’s only allowed to give you a small kiss once you’re pronounced husband and wife, but he’s going to make up for it later that night. 

The reception only lasts for so long, and before Raditz even knows it, it’s already time for him to head to the bridal chamber. It’s a custom that he should wait until you’re ready before walking in, but he can’t help but get a little nervous during that time. 

If your first kiss was with him, then your first time would be that night. The tail underneath his shirt tightens; it’s not that he’s an animal and can’t control himself, but he also knows that he might end up hurting you even if he were to use a little more force than usual to hold you. Running a hand up his face and into his hair, he taps his foot on the floor as he keeps waiting, trying to calm his nerves. 

When the maids come out of the chamber, Raditz doesn’t wait for them to tell him he can walk in. You’re sitting in a chair by the fire, with your hair down and wearing a long nightgown, as you turn to him, smiling sweetly. 

He can’t believe he is actually married. To you.

Raditz approaches you as you stand up, and he immediately notices your trepidation; you’re playing with your hair and nibbling your bottom lip. He doesn’t think too much into it when he leans down and kisses you, and you make a surprised noise, putting your hands on his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry,” He says, pulling away after a few seconds and taking a step back. “I couldn’t help it.”

“N-No, it’s fine…” You stutter, blushing slightly. 

“Are you nervous?” Raditz asks, sliding one hand into your hair. 

“Is it that obvious?” You smile, leaning into his touch.

“Don’t be. I’ve done this before, so-” The minute he says those words, Raditz feels like punching himself in the face. Why did he say that? “Fuck, I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I guess I’m not the only one who's nervous.” You smile, not at all perturbed by what he just blurted out.

He is nervous, but he’s more overwhelmed by the fact that he just got married. Raditz never thought it would have been possible. 

“When I first saw you, I never thought I’d end up here, in a bedroom with you. On our wedding night.” 

He sits on the bed, staring at you intensely. You are usually wearing fancy dresses, and your hair tied in elaborate styles, but you, in just a nightgown and your hair flowing, are the prettiest you’ve ever been to his eyes.

“When you first saw me? At the banquet hall, months ago?” You ask, sitting beside him.

“It was long before that. The first time we arrived at the palace was over a year ago. Your father welcomed us alone because it was very late at night. I couldn’t sleep and went into the garden that first night, and you were there.” Raditz remembers that day vividly. You were sitting in the garden, petting what he assumed were one of your father’s hunting dogs. He wondered what you were doing at such an hour, but he didn’t move to disturb you. “Surprisingly alone, even when the palace is full of soldiers and visitors.”

“You didn’t talk to me then.”

“It wouldn’t have been appropriate, and I didn’t want to scare you. I stared at you from afar for a bit.” Raditz groans, running a hand down his face in shame. His tongue is looser due to his nerves and he can’t control it. “You must think I’m a creep now.”

“No.” You chuckle, taking his hand into yours. “I also saw you for the first time before that first banquet. I sneaked out once to see you all train. You caught my eye that day.”

“I did?”

“Yes.” Raditz looks at you curiously, and you go on before he even has the chance to ask for more. “You’re handsome, yes, but there was something else too. Your attitude at banquets and balls, that amused me to no end.”

“Why?” He chuckled.

“It was obvious you didn’t even want to be there at all.”

“It’s true, I don’t particularly like events where royals are involved.”

“Even me?” You ask teasingly, nudging his side. 

“Until I realized you were one of the few nice ones.” 

You laugh quietly, leaning closer. Raditz tilts your chin closer and kisses you tenderly, savoring your lips, smiling when you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Saiyans…” He starts, pressing his forehead to yours. “We bite our mates as a ritual.”

“You bite them?” You ask, confused. 

“Yes,” He chuckled at your expression, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “We don’t have to do it right now, but since we are married, at some point we will.”

“No, no, I want to… How does that work?”

“We have to bite each other here,” Raditz dragged his hand down where your neck meets your shoulder. “Hard enough to draw blood.”

“Blood?! I don’t think I can do it…” You’re nervous, he can see it, but it’s reassuring you’re not pulling away. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You won’t.” He chuckles, nudging your nose with his. “And I can tell you that it’s going to feel good, too.”

“Have you done it before?” You ask him with wide eyes. 

“Not as a ritual.” He winces immediately. He probably shouldn’t have said that either. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

“It’s okay, I find it funny.” You smile widely.

“Funny, huh?” 

You nod before kissing him. Raditz appreciates your initiative, noticing your growing confidence the more often you get to kiss him. He has been craving more for days now so he presses you closer, wrapping his tail around your waist. Your fingers run through his hair soothingly, calming down his nerves and enticing him all at once, making him purr deep from his chest. You smile against his lips, pulling back only a little. 

“Did you purr?” 

“Yes.” Raditz replies, kissing down your neck to hide his blush. 

Your chuckle turns into a hum when he settles on a sensitive spot underneath your ear, and he takes his time there until he feels you shivering against him. 

Impatience getting the best of him, Raditz holds you close and moves over to lie you down on the mattress, pulling back to look down at you, devouring you with his eyes.  

“I’ll go slow.” He says, stroking your cheek. “If this is what you want. Or we can do this some other time, when you’re ready.”

Raditz hopes, prays, that you want to do it right now. He’s already half hard, and while he can obviously ignore it and go to sleep like that, he doesn’t want to. But you’re his priority, and he doesn’t want to push you. 

With a small smile, you lean up to kiss him.

“I’m nervous, but I want to… I want to do this with you, even the biting ritual…”

Thrilled more than ever before, Raditz kisses you fervently, running his hands into your hair and pressing his body as close as humanly possible. Your body flinches, and he trails his lips down your jaw.

“Don’t worry, I’m here with you, and I won’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you.”

You sigh contently as he kisses down your neck, grazing his teeth on your skin. 

[radiowallet]

All Tied Up

Summary: Frankie and you take care of Marcus for the night. (Part of the Like a River ‘verse. Timeline wise this is well into their relationship.)

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x F!Reader x Frankie Morales

WC: 4.1K

Warnings: Explicit, Established polyam relationship, m/f/m dynamics, BDSM, rope play, anal play, kissing, handjobs, praise kink, m/m dynamics, vaginal intercourse.

This fic is very much dedicated to my beautiful, talented, lovely, always kind @honestly-shite on their birthday. Happiest birthday to you, my sweet Maia! I know this is early but I'm horrid with dates and honestly, what's wrong with spending the whole entire week celebrating one of the best people I know!

Maia- You are kind and supportive and funny as hell, and you never ever fail to make me smile! Happy Birthday! I love you so fricking much!

It had started as teasing- light and frothy- passed back and forth between the three of you where you were curled into a booth at the back of Sam’s bar. The Miller boys were long gone for the night, both begging off with the excuse of an early morning, but the three of you stayed, something about the sparsely filled bar, the cheap beer and the late hour weaving some sort of silly magic into words. You and Frankie were tipsy at best, teetering on the edge of drunk, still needling Marcus with the nickname Benny had gifted him earlier in the night.

They had dubbed him Boy Scout and Marcus had shouldered the jokes with his natural ease, laughing off as the table quizzed him on merit badges and campouts and rope tricks, all of which he had zero experience in. Buoyant smiles were traded back and forth but Frankie didn’t miss it; the way Marcus’s heart rate picked up when his thick fingers circle his wrist just as you teased from across the table about knot tying. It’s quick, a small, sharp pull of air into his lungs, the smile stuttering on his cheeks before stretching wide into a bark of a laugh, but it was enough of a reaction to send Frankie’s mind into overdrive. 

The night ended in a tangle of limbs and laughter, one of many the three of them had grown so used to over the past year, but Marcus’s reaction remained at the forefront of Frankie’s mind, alongside the image of his hand wrapped around his wrist, the press of his thumb firm on his rapid-fire pulse. He wasn’t sure if you had seen it for yourself; the dark bark and flow of alcohol placed a haze around the jokes, but he had been wrong. Your eyes were sharp, your mind quick. You never missed a step.

In fact you’re the first one to bring it up, two nights later, as casual as ever, always patient with the two men, never one to shy away from helping them find their way. Both girls are away for the night, an unspoken promise of something always lingering around nights like this. There’s the smell of tomatoes cooking with garlic and a bottle of wine split three ways, and you take one small sip before looking at Marcus where he’s carefully chopping basil into perfect little ribbons.  

“So, ropes?”

His hands still and his cheeks tinge pink, and Frankie can’t help but smile over the rim of his glass. It’s hard not to as he takes in the other man, plush lips and coffee brown eyes taking up space beside him. He always provides that little extra sweetness the two of you crave, tempering out the bitter notes of two ex-soldiers with more than their fair share of baggage. Marcus has his own darkness tucked aside, two wedding rings nestled in a velvet box on his side of the bed, but his hardships didn’t squash the light in him, and Frankie is so grateful they were able to coax that brightness back out. 

When he glances across the kitchen at you, you’re matching his smile cheek for cheek, eyes pinned to Marcus. 

He coughs, starts chopping again, and nods his head. Slowly, a smile paints across his lips, and between slices of the blade he speaks up. “Yeah…I…I would like that…I mean,” he sighs, putting the knife down with an air of finality, picking up a towel and absentmindedly wiping at his hands.

“I spend all day looking out for everyone else. ‘Save them.’ ‘Go here.’ ‘Say this.’ Sometimes it’d be nice if…if someone would…if they could take care of…” He shrugs again, losing his nerve as quick as he found it, dropping the towel and picking the knife back up and focusing his energy on the barely recognizable herbs. His brows are bunched beneath the thick rim of his glasses, his normally steady hands shaking. 

Frankie parses through his words, picking them up and rearranging them until he finds the meaning. It’s not that he’s surprised Marcus Moreno wants to be dominated- all three of them have the capacity for give and take in all aspects of their relationship- but he assumed it was about control; the loss of it; the need to have it stripped away. But that was how Francisco Morales’s brain clicked; that was what he needed. For Marcus it was something in a different color, a lighter shade; familiar and easy to recognize, the taste sweet and gentle on the tip of his tongue.

He just wants to be taken care of. 

Frankie crosses the kitchen and touches Marcus’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting it up slowly until they are eye to eye. “Can you use your words, baby?”

He swallows around nothing, still smiling, glancing at you then back at him, stalling for courage and Frankie grips a little bit tighter, signaling he is waiting for an answer. 

“I want you to tie me up.” 

You step in closer, close enough that he can smell the wine on your tongue, your fingers sliding slowly from his elbow to his wrist until your palm slides over his hand and up the sharp cut of Marcus’s jaw. 

“How’s tonight sound?”

—

The rope is bright orange, thick and sturdy, pulled from the bottom of the bag of camping gear, a mess of other supplies spilling out as Frankie pulls it free. He leaves the mess, making a mental note to come back for it tomorrow, too anxious to think about anything but what waits for him in the bedroom. He takes the stairs two at a time, pausing just as he gets to the landing, taking in one slow deep breath. The hallway is dark, one thin sliver of light leaking out from beneath the bedroom door, the rest of the house quiet, as if the whole of it was waiting for what is coming with baited breath.

Frankie pushes into the room, and stops again, leaning into the door frame to take in the sight before him. You and Marcus are kneeling in the center of the bed, bodies bare and glowing in the soft light from one bedside lamp. You’re pressed chest to chest, trading soft kisses back and forth. 

He lets himself enjoy it a little bit longer, the sounds of breathy sighs and little moans reaching him as the kiss deepens to something with much more promise, Marcus parting your lips with the swipe of his tongue. He thinks he could stand here and watch forever, counting his blessings, one after the other, content to watch the two of you move together like you were made for it. It’s hypnotizing, leaving him feeling light headed from a kiss that isn’t his, his lips parting around a moan as his gaze lingers on the curve of Marcus’s back, the tilt of your chin, your breasts cupped between his large hands, his cock slowly filling out in length with each kiss from your lips. 

Frankie’s own pants are growing tight, and when one particularly loud whine breaks free from Marcus’s lips, his composure starts to crack, his hand reaching down to palm his erection. The added pressure only makes him more dizzy, and his own moan falls out of him. It’s enough to draw your eyes to the door, and you're smiling, a teasing little smirk pulling at your lips as you beckon him closer with the crook of your finger. He moves to the bed, dropping the rope down onto the mattress silently, but making no move yet to use it. Marcus reaches out and touches the coiled rope, tracing it slowly with his fingertips. Frankie and you give him that moment, allowing him the space to back out if that’s what he needs. 

Again and again he touches the rope, letting his nails catch at the synthetic fibers, wrapping his hands around it, knuckles bleeding white where he grips hard. Feeling emboldened, he licks his lips and picks it up, testing the weight of it in his hands, before raising his hands up to them, offering the rope like a gift at the altar. 

“You ready, sweet boy?”

Marcus nods, before shaking his head, remembering himself and turns his eyes back up to you and Frankie. “I am.”

“Good boy,” you whisper, touching his cheek gently. “Lay on your back. Hands above your head.” 

Frankie is the one who picks the rope back up, looping around Marcus’s wrists and up through the wooden posts of the bed frame. He ties the knot, taking the time to admire how the bright orange contrasts with his golden skin, the nylon biting a bright white into his wrists. Something breaks open in him at the sight, Marcus Moreno pulled tight and tied back, his strength rendered useless, leaving him open and exposed for whatever you and Frankie are willing to give and take. He looks up at the pair of you, eyes glossy and lips parted, all his trust placed in your hands. 

The sight is intoxicating and Frankie has to step away, the act of stripping out of his own clothes enough to help him center the raging beat of his heart. Behind him he can hear you cooing sweetly to Marcus, gentle praise trickled between reassurances of safety and reminders of safewords. When he turns back around, you’re straddling the smaller man’s legs, the tip of one finger tracing the length of his erection, thick and weeping, resting on the little swell of belly that has developed over the course of finding love. 

“So pretty,” you whisper to yourself, and Frankie echoes the sentiment, joining you on the bed, pressing up behind you. He feels you shiver beneath his touch, his hands skimming up your ribs and around to cup your breasts, thumbs stroking at the hardened perk of your nipples. 

Marcus tugs at the ropes, instinct to take your pleasure into his own hands kicking at the sight towering over him. It’s his first attempt, the veins in his forearms popping, his wrists bleeding from red to bone white as he tests the strength of the restraints. Frankie shushes him softly as your hand soothes gently on the inside of his thigh, the two of you working together to calm the other man down. He relaxes into the touch, arms going slack as he settles back into the mattress, but his eyes don’t leave you, glued to where Frankie continues to tease the tender skin just beneath the swell of your tits. 

“Touch our boy, Bluebird,” he whispers, teeth nipping gently at your earlobe. You comply quickly, wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock, squeezing gently before sliding your fist up to the top, gathering the precum waiting for you and sliding it back down in one long drawn out drag. Marcus groans in time with your movement, his hips canting up and into the open air. 

Frankie watches over the curve of your shoulder, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the heat of your skin, hungry eyes glued to the width of Marcus’s cock in your hand. You take your time, slowly moving up and down the length of him, stopping at the base each time and squeezing gently, drops of precum gathering again and again at the tip. Frankie loses track of time, only pulling back after he’s sure the mark on your skin will last well into tomorrow— something for both men to admire. 

Marcus is practically shaking, arms straining and mewls of pleasure pouring out of him as you continue to push him carefully towards the edge. You know his body well enough by now to know when to speed up and when to slow down, refusing to let him spill over into your hand so soon. His length is almost purple, pulsing between your fingers, and Frankie licks his lips as he zeroes in on your movements, feeling his own hunger grow. He reaches down and strokes himself a few times, groaning in relief at his own light touch, enough for now while he focuses on the two of you.

“Frankie…” It’s Marcus that breaks the trance, his voice a strangled whisper pulling Frankie’s eyeline back up the length of his torso, chest heaving, neck pulled taut, jaw clenched. His brown eyes are frantic, pupils blown wide with arousal. A few beads of sweat stick to his temple and without prompting, Frankie leans forward to swipe his thumb through them and up into his hairline.  

“Frankie, p-please…please…”

It isn’t the first time the man has been reduced to begging; it was really where all of this started, and it still sends the same thrill down Frankie’s spine, knowing that with just a little bit of whispered praise and a light touch, the ever composed and always at ease Heroic can be broken down into a quivering mess. There have been times where you or Frankie had teased just a little too hard, backing him into a corner just to see him snap, deliciously feral when he lets himself go, but this was a different sort of broken. 

Marcus is trapped, body caught between loose limbed, honey smooth and iron tight, shaking muscles. Frankie can’t help himself, curious to see how far he can push this moment. There’s a bottle of lube lying innocently by his feet (you must have had the good sense to grab it while he was in the garage looking for the rope), and he wastes no time in scooping it up and pressing it into your free hand. As always, you take his cue, the perfect soldier through and through, popping the cap off the bottle, the sound sending another tremor of anticipation through Marcus’s thighs where they’re trapped beneath the two of you. You pour a generous amount (too generous, always so careful with both men) into your hand, coating your fingers before reaching down to circle Marcus’s puckered entrance. 

“Shit! F-fuck….please p-pájarito. I need it.” 

You smile sweetly, taking the same steady pace as you did earlier, refusing to push inside him, just yet. “Need what, sweet boy?” 

“Inside me, please.” To prove his point, he thrusts his hips up, searching for relief in any way you’ll give it. You seem satisfied with his answer, at least enough to push the tip of your pointer finger inside him, a cry of pleasure jolting from him at your sudden entrance. 

This time Frankie forces himself not to watch, turning his eyes back to Marcus’s cock, left painfully hard by your sweet touch. He licks his lips again, leaning over until he’s hovering just close enough for Marcus to feel the scratch of his beard. He’s thrusting as much as the rope tied around his arms will allow, trying to meet the steady pump of your finger in his ass. Frankie’s stubble tickles at the velvet skin of Marcus’s cock and he whines a pathetic sound, shifting the cant of his hips upward towards Frankie’s mouth. 

“Shhhh, baby, shhh,” he soothes, pushing the smaller man’s hips down into the mattress, and holding them there with a firm grip. “I’ve got you.” And then he’s swallowing him down, fighting back his gag reflex as his mouth stretches around the thick cut of Marcus’s cock. A cry of pleasure rings out into the room, and Frankie can hear the wood of the bed frame creaking where Marcus is pulling as hard as he can, desperate to touch both of them as they shower him in endless, blinding pleasure.  

He’s quick to pull off, a string of spit stretching from his lips to the tip of Marcus’s cock. The sight alone makes his own length pulse with want. He ignores it for now, instead pressing a soft kiss to Marcus’s hip bone, following it with a nip of his teeth. 

“Don’t pull so hard, Fullmetal. You’ll hurt yourself. Do we need to stop?”

You still beside him, pausing your movements, a second finger already poised at Marcus’s asshole. He’s looking down at both of you, eyes bright and bottom lip caught between his teeth. After a few seconds he shakes his head, hips already trying to break free from Frankie’s grip. He tightens his hold, shaking his head while you reach up with your other hand to smooth his bottom lip free from the sharp bite of his teeth.

“Words, sweet boy,” you prompt. Frankie presses one more kiss to his hip bone, coaxing him one step closer to relaxed, tasting the salty tang of sweat that’s sticking to Marcus’s skin. 

“I’m…shit, I’m okay. Do-don’t stop.”

His voice is high, breathy and gasping, and Frankie hums in appreciation at the sound of it. He wants to tattoo the sound inside his skull; something to remind him of this night, all the ones that came before, and the ones still waiting up ahead. You’re already moving again, pumping two of your fingers inside of Marcus, pulling the sweetest sighs from between his lips. He gives the other man one more kiss, this time to the soft swell of his belly before wrapping his lips around the tip of his cock. 

Frankie moans at the taste, swirling his tongue along the head, collecting the precome that’s collected there, swallowing it down. Musk salt coats his tongue and he repeats the motion, desperate for another taste. Then, with little flourish, he begins to bob his head up and down, each time taking Marcus that much deeper. Spit trickles down his chin, dripping into the patch of dark hair at the base of his cock. 

Beside him, Frankie can feel you moving, your own hips thrusting down, in time with each pump of your fingers. When he chances a glance in your direction, he swears he almost blacks out, the hand not fucking into Marcus buried between the wet folds of your pussy, your eyes closed in concentration as you swirl the pad of your thumb over your clit. Your lips part around a moan that stutters out in frustration as you try and fail to grab ahold of your own release. Frankie swallows down around Marcus one last time, letting the tip of his cock hit the back of his throat before pulling off and moving in behind you. 

“Let me help you out, Bird,” he murmurs in your ear, pressing his chest fully to your back, taking the time to grind his erection into the curve of your ass. 

You nod helplessly, pulling your hand away from your core, the tips of your fingers glistening in the low light of the bedroom. 

“Fuck, so wet, cariño. All for us?

You nod again, your forehead falling forward to rest on Marcus’s stomach, your other hand still moving in and out of him, mewls of pleasure and pain breaking free from his lips, his body still dangling just at the edge of release. Frankie let’s his eyes rove across the both of you, your body curled over Marcus, shamelessly thrusting your hips backwards and forwards across his leg, and Marcus helplessly twisting and turning as he tries and fails to keep himself tied together, tears pricking at the corners of his umber sweet eyes. You’re both so beautiful and Frankie has to fight the urge to close his eyes, reminding himself this isn’t a dream. 

That he won’t open his eyes and find himself alone. 

He kisses just behind your ear, nudging his nose into the delicate shell to make sure he has your attention, fractured as it may be. “I need you to keep taking care of our boy, Bluebird. Can you add one more finger?”

“Yeah, yeah I can,” you answer, blinking open your fever bright eyes, heat rolling off you in waves. 

He grabs your hips, lining himself up with your entrance, and just as you slide a third finger into Marcus, his body arching in a perfect curve off the bed, he slips inside of you, the three of you crying out together. You squeeze around him, tight wet heat that nearly stops the beat of his heart. He falls forward, curling around your back, molding himself to your body. Your hand hasn’t stopped moving, a clumsy in and out that has Marcus writhing beneath your combined weight. 

“F-Frankie…” he gasps around the twist of your wrist, and there’s something intoxicating about the sound of his name on the other man’s lips while you’re the one inside him. It’s a moment that’s been mirrored in every possible combination between the three of you, and still it catches Frankie by surprise. 

Fuck, how did he get so lucky? 

Slowly, almost too slowly, he starts to move, dragging his cock in and out of you as he looks Marcus in the eye. 

“What is it baby? Like what you see?” Frankie thrusts into you deeper, holding you to his hips as he grinds against you, your own moans of his name falling out of you. “She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?”

Marcus nods, words failing him, his glazed eyes tracing your features as Frankie fucks into you. He’s just as beautiful, staring at the two of you fucking over him, transfixed, hypnotized, the only two people in the whole world, towering over him. His body is still arched off the bed, contorted so tight Frankie’s afraid he could actually snap in half. Miles of golden skin stretched out before him- thick neck, broad shoulders, pert nipples and dark hair that leads down to his weeping cock. It bobs up and down with each thrust of your fingers, precome smeared across his belly. 

“F-fuck…beautiful. Both of you….”

He loses track of himself, his hips moving faster, your pussy squeezing around him as he brushes up inside you. You're just as frenzied, trying to match Frankie’s pace with your hands, stuttering and stopping then starting up again. Below you, Marcus is sobbing, begging, and between the mix of sound from the three of you, he thinks he hears a warning that he’s about to come. 

“No…no, hold on, baby...”

“I’m close too, Fish….please. Pleeeease.” You’re begging too, your pitiful cries mixing so perfectly with the slap of skin, and just that sound alone has Frankie suddenly on the edge too. It’s not a burn, but an explosion, angry sparks of electricity digging at his lower back. His balls tighten up just as your own orgasm squeezes around his cock, and suddenly everything is too bright, shades of orange blurring his vision as he pumps his release inside you. 

Below you, Marcus is helpless, arms still tied back, lips parted around a silent cry, tears streaming down his face. He’s broken, pitifully desperate to reach out for both of you, only the touch of your fingers inside him keeping him grounded to this moment. Frankie’s hips are still moving, clumsy, shallow thrusts inside your slick cunt, but he needs to touch him, feel him as he comes apart. He slides one hand from your hip, finding purchase on Marc’s thigh, intent on wrapping his thick fingers around his cock. But even as he thinks the thought, he knows he’s too late, a gasping wail breaking free from Marcus’s throat, his body somehow drawing up tighter. Then he’s coming, completely untouched, thick ropes of white spurting out of him, painting the bare planes of his chest. 

You and Frankie can only watch, drinking in the sight of the other man, sobbing helplessly as he continues to come, seemingly endless amounts of it covering his body. The ropes around his wrists dig into his skin as he twists and turns with the release of pleasure, his face turned into the meat of his bicep, teeth sinking into the muscle as he works through it. Frankie keeps a constant pressure on his thigh, soothing circles into the skin, whispering sweet little nothings into the stuffy air of the bedroom. 

“It’s okay. Shhh, sweet boy, it’s okay. We’re here. Bird and I are right here.”

You’ve already pulled your fingers free, moving up Marcus’s body and wrapping your arms around him, pressing kiss after kiss into his jaw, petting softly at his cheeks, wiping his tears away with the pad of your thumb. After what feels like two lifetimes, he finally settles, his body falling back to the mattress, every inch of him liquid loose. Frankie licks his lips, eyeing the mess that now sticks to both of you. He knows exactly what it would taste like, has had the pleasure many times before, but still he can’t help but wonder. He’s about to lean over and indulge himself, when you call his name, drawing his attention back to the head of the bed.

“Can you grab something to help clean up?”

You’ve already loosened the knot, letting Marcus’s arms fall down beside him uselessly, the ropes pooling around his waist and sticking to his mess. You’re rubbing at his shoulders, urging blood flow back into them before trailing your fingers down to his wrists, checking for broken skin and bruising. Frankie thinks maybe Marcus is already asleep, eyes closed and breathing steady, but when he goes to move off the bed, the tips of his fingers somehow find the curve of his knee. 

“Not yet” he murmurs, half-lidded eyes, drowsy but pleading, urging him to stay close. Frankie knows he should refuse- he needs water, maybe an aspirin to keep the ache away, at the very least a warm washcloth wiped gently across his skin. But he can’t say no to him, not now. (Probably ever). 

Instead he smiles, mutters a quiet of course, and crawls up the bed, mirroring your position. In the morning there will be teasing, shy glances and loving jabs mixed between jokes about using a camping rope and coming untouched. He knows there will be a long, hot shower, and cups of coffee in bed, possibly another round, something softer, slower and just enough to push all three of you back to sleep. But for now there’s this; the three of you, curled around each other, curled around the mess, pressing lips into sore wrists and fingers into tired muscles, taking care of him until sleep comes for you all, one by one. 

Big thanks to @jazzelsaur and @astroboots for beta reading and assuring me that this is sexy.

[dimancheetoile]

I'm finding I'm not her (the girl I thought I'd be)

Nine months later, to celebrate Sasuke's graduation from Explosions and Booby-traps Academy, she drags both him and Naruto to a lingerie store.

Read it on AO3

The title is from @mouseymightymarvellous's AMAZING poem, "forgiveness for matryoshka dolls"

Haruno Sakura is born in the early days of spring. She has hair the colour of cherry blossoms and the brightest smile you could wish on a baby's face. Her parents adore her and early on, she's spoiled rotten by every single member of her family. It could be the beginning of a beautiful tale, a happy story to tell children when they ask what a perfect life is. For a few years, it is.

One hot, tiring day of summer, Sakura comes home after a full day playing with the Yamanaka heir, and tells her parents that she wants to join the Academy. She smiles her bright smile and proudly explain how she's going to become the strongest shinobi in the world.

On the same day, Sakura also tells her parents that she is a girl.

Let's try again.

Haruno Nadamaru is born in the early days of spring. He has hair the colour of cherry blossoms and the brightest smile you could wish on a baby's face. Nadamaru is the Haruno's heir, destined to take the Clan Head mantle and keep their trading network in good shape. His mother is already eyeing his cousin Haeru as a potential bride.

One hot, tiring day of summer, Nadamaru comes home with a red ribbon in his pink hair and bright orange fingernails. He talks about his best friend Ino and all the fun they've had playing ninja. He tells them all about Yamanaka-san with his kind eyes and quick laugh and how bad Nadamaru wants to be like him when he grows up.

On the same day, Nadamaru tells them to call him Sakura, like his pretty hair, and asks for a qipao on his next birthday.

Hikari sends her son to his room with a shout and starts crying in her husband's arms. Nadamaru goes, tears streaming down his round face, and swears he'll show them how good a shinobi Haruno Sakura will be.

Sakura graduates a few weeks after her twelfth birthday. She comes home ecstatic, but already expecting the disappointment in her mother's eyes, and the complete disinterest on her father's face. She quickly makes herself a snack, before her mother can decide she'll punish her for her foolishness one more time, and disappears in her room. It still hurts, but it stopped bothering her a long time ago.

Her brand new qipao is waiting for her under the bed, where Sakura hid it this morning. Hikari can't force her to wear more appropriate clothing, but she tries really hard to destroy every dress Sakura might buy for herself. Tomorrow is the big day, and she wants to be the prettiest girl in their promotion. Maybe one of the boys will notice her; surely, if she brings back a good husband, her mother will finally be convinced to let Sakura be herself?

She sighs and carefully braids her long hair, before going to bed. She knows she won't be able to sleep for a while, for how excited she is, but she needs to be well-rested if she wants to pass the test. She can't wait.

Tell me your likes and dislikes, asks the jōnin teacher, and Sakura is about to comply, when he adds the annoying bit about their dream. Sakura has a dream, but she learned a long time ago that it was best not to tell people. No one understood her dream, and her family kept scolding her every time she brought it up. Just like they did when she wore her hair up in a bun with glittering pins, or when she dressed up in her most elegant outfits.

So she bites her lips and waits until both Naruto and Sasuke are done. Then, in a gentle voice and with the greatest care, she crafts her words. She says that her dream is to be acknowledged for who she truly is, and stays quiet when Naruto side-hugs her. She knows how close her answer is to his, and she pretends not to notice her sensei squinting his only eye at her.

The test is a disaster. Sakura gets caught in a genjutsu almost as soon as it starts. She sees Sasuke, lying dead in a pool of blood, and she runs to his crumbled form. Only when she's kneeling next to him does he open his eyes and stares at her. Nadamaru, he whispers, Nadamaru, Nadamaru, Nadamaru—

"Hey, Sakura! Wake up! Kakashi-sensei put you in a genjutsu, but it's over now, don't worry."

Except it's never truly over now, is it, Naruto?

Sakura honestly didn't expect for her secret to hold this long. She's done her best to act true to herself, but sometimes she slips up because Hikari drilled habits into her as hard as she could, whenever Sakura was too tired to fight her mother. Oh, how relentless Hikari could be. And sometimes, that means that Sakura walks with a hunched back and a different sway in her walk. Sometimes, she forgets that she's supposed to trust her team and jokes in a deep voice about girly things and cooties, only to catch herself because she's the one who should be offended at her teammates for making the jokes, not telling them herself.

And yet her secret holds until a few days before the start of the chūnin exams. Everyone in the village heard about it, and so did her parents. When they realized there was no convincing their daughter to back down from her goal, they decided to invite Team 7 to a family dinner, hoping to embarrass Sakura. She won't let them.

After a particularly successful training session that ended with Kakashi almost praising them, Sakura grits her teeth and takes a leap of faith.

"Boys, can I talk to you before we go to Ichiraku?"

Sasuke grunts, looking annoyed, but stays in place. Naruto grins and sits cross-legged next to her, while she gestures for their sensei to join the lopsided circle they created.

"What is it about, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asks, his orange book balanced on one of his knees. Sakura feels weirdly warm to think he cares enough not to read it when she needs to talk.

"You know my parents invited you to dinner, tonight. And you all promised to go."

Naruto beams. "Yeah, I can't wait to meet them! I'm sure they're really cool."

Cool. Sakura feels like crying. If only.

"There is something you don't know about me, and my parents will definitely talk to you about it. I hope... I hope this won't ruin everything."

Sasuke is frowning and Kakashi has the same look than the day of the test. Naruto just wraps an arm around her shoulders in the half hug he seems to be fond of.

"You can tell us anything, we're your team!"

Sakura nods quickly, holding back the tears she can feel gathering in her eyes. And before she can change her mind, she rushes to grab her ID card in her pouch and throws it at Kakashi's face. Then she ducks her head under a fall of pink strands and waits for the inevitable. And waits. And waits some more.

"Uh."

Sakura chokes on her next breath as she quickly raises her head again. Kakashi is looking at the card with an eyebrow raised, before looking briefly at her, and going back to the card.

"Uh." He says again, then proceeds to shrugging exaggeratedly slow before handing the card to Sasuke. The Uchiha's eyebrows disappear into his hair and he stares at her, not moving when Naruto looks over his shoulder at the ID.

"Who's that, Sakura? Is it your brother?"

It's too much for her, the lack of reaction and Naruto's misunderstanding, and Sakura starts to sob. Deep, ugly sobs she tries to keep silent when she notices how uncomfortable Kakashi looks, but sobs nonetheless.

"Moron!" And Sasuke is punching Naruto, who starts to insult him before freezing when he hears Sakura's hitched breath. He glares back at the card, and a look of understanding settles on his face.

"So you're..."

"Naruto, for once in your life, shut up."

And suddenly, Sasuke is hugging her. Sakura is pretty sure her soul starts to shrivel and ultimately dies inside of her.

"I don't give a flying fuck what your parents decided to call you," he whispers against her ear, "but you're my teammate, Haruno Sakura, and that means I'll stand by you tonight."

As quickly as he appeared, he releases her and settles again on the ground, on Naruto's left. When the Uzumaki looks at him funny, he blushes slightly and looks away.

"My cousin Shisui was... well, you know. Like you. He was like you."

And that settles it. Naruto still hugs her approximately five minutes too long and Kakashi offers to braid her hair, which is frankly terrifying and she does not feel the slightest inch of regret at refusing. When they arrive at the Haruno Estate, on the outskirts of Konoha, none of the boys bat an eye when Hikari asks her son to help them settle in. They call her Sakura and compliment her on her dress and later, much later, after Sakura's tears are dry and Kakashi has finished tying knots in their hair (which he keeps insisting on calling braids), they laugh about the angry look on Hikari's face when she understood she couldn't hurt her daughter that way anymore.

When Sasuke starts his apprenticeship in the Sabotage squad, where his fire jutsu and sharingan makes him an amazing student, Sakura starts to consider her options. Naruto is hinting at a trip with Jiraya, to learn both about his family and the Sannin's techniques. Sasuke is barely in Konoha anymore, spending most of his time in the Forest of Death. And she can't stay with her parents anymore.

Now that she made it clear her shinobi career is here to stay, on top of Konoha's administration giving her a new ID card with her true name on it, the Haruno want nothing to do with her. She's this close to being disowned, and she knows it. It means Sakura needs new living arrangements, possibly someone willing to give her their name. She doesn't mind being clanless, like Tenten, but having a name would definitely help her.

It's Kakashi who suggests she tries it with the Hokage. Tsunade has been here for a few years now, and as scary as she still appears, Sakura has seen her smashed more times than she's seen her sober. It helps a lot with the fear. So she goes to Tsunade, bows to her waist and asks to learn her legendary strength. If Sasuke is to be a sabotage expert, with Naruto's quick thinking and his love for traps, Sakura will need to be the blunt force of their team.

Tsunade laughs at her face and calls her a naive little girl. She tells her she'd be better as a medic, that she should stay at the back because she's not as strong as her teammates. That she should go back to her civilian family and think of marriage and bearing children.

Sakura punches a hole through the Hokage's desk and starts screaming. Tsunade lets her swear for thirty seconds before sending her flying through a wall with a flick of her finger. Then she marches out of the office, picks Sakura up, and goes to the nearest training ground.

Sakura grins a bloody smile. The Hokage read her file. She knows of Nadamaru's shadow, glued to Sakura's steps. And she still asked her if it wouldn't be better for her to go back to her clan and get pregnant. That's the whole three seconds it takes for Sakura to fall in love with the idea of becoming the new Tsunade.

Later in the day, when the Hokage is done printing Sakura patterns into the earth, Tsunade sits in the dirt next to her. She asks in tactless and ugly terms if Sakura wants something done about her body. She talks about surgery and procedures and hormones and medical ninjutsu. When she's done talking, Sakura is smiling through her tears, and Tsunade pats her on the head.

Nine months later, to celebrate Sasuke's graduation from Explosions and Booby-traps Academy, she drags both him and Naruto to a lingerie store.

They're seventeen, with a spring in their steps and the future laid down at their feet. Naruto is trying on a emerald bra with a dangling heart pendant in the center while Sasuke stares at a garter, probably trying to figure out if it's going to kill him in his sleep. Sakura looks at herself in the mirror of their proud eyes and she smiles the brightest smile she can conjure. She's beautiful.

She's beautiful and they tell her that, later, when they're all in the kitchen of their tiny apartment, stuffing their face with ramen. Naruto is leaving again in a few days, this time to the ruins of Uzushio. Except he asked them to come with him, and they both accepted. Sakura is eyeing the jōnin promotion Kakashi swears she has a shot at, but she won't take it just yet. She wants to enjoy the time she has with her teammates, while Naruto is still looking for himself in the shadows of a destroyed village.

They tell her she's beautiful when they lie down on the largest futon and Sasuke unties her chest bandages with his teeth. They tell her how proud they are of the woman she has become while Naruto nips at her hip.

In the morning, when they read over her shoulder the letter of repudiation from her clan, they will kiss her gently. Then Kakashi will rush inside with forms and applications, a few chosen words for the Haruno's decision, and an offer to take his name. And Sakura will smile.