#i'm learning that i love me a fuckin... passive voice and also i love to use the wrong its/it's

[flowerslut]

Roots is the best 😁 Thanks for updating even though you seem insanely busy

wow thank you for reading AND for your kind words!!!! 🤩 I will be less busy later this week once I finish moving, but thankfully the hardest part (writing the actual fic) was finished in the summertime

nowadays I just try to catch typos/fix errors/change sentences I hate/etc each week before I post. big BIG shoutout to the loml @volturialice for giving each chappy a look-through and catching all my bad habits so that the story reads soooo much smoother 😭 between her corrections and @perihelions-crew also clocking all of my typos/grammar fuck-ups, it's making roots my most thoroughly edited and well put-together fic i've ever written in my LIFE 🥰🥰🥰

[kraefishh]

caleb wittogast, 5, 6, 7, 18, 22, 25

OHHHH OHOHOHO MY GOD, OKAY. CHOSE VIOLENCE, I SEE.

Caleb Widogast you make me fucking deranged.

as I did before I will answer one and then I'm putting the rest of the answers under the cut because this will perhaps be an even longer post. SOOOOOO!!!!

#5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

There is... admittedly a lot of songs that I associate with Caleb. But the 3 that I will mention are Would That I by Hozier because it makes me think about this literal masterpiece of a music video.

Then Curses by The Crane Wives. Which..... hough. The. The whole song is him, realistically. But I am not going to post the entire lyrics in this post for it. HOWEVER THE LAST CHORUS IN PARTICULAR....

Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust Tell me I am good enough Oh, lay my curses out to rest Make a mercy out of me.

IS SO......

Heahhaghghehgh.

and the last song that I will mention is Bright by Lilli Furfaro as that is. Literally a fansong for him LMAO. But this is the one that I learned to play on guitar and mhmfmhdfhfhhfh it still gut punches me every time I sing it. I nearly cried the first time I heard it, though that is not a non-universal experience from what I'm aware by a LOT of the other people in the comments on that video hhHSDHGD--

uh regardless hit the cut if you wanna hear me scream about the tragic dirty wizard man more.

FIRST AND FOREMOST I AM HERE TO PUT MORE FUCKING FANSONGS FOR CALEB THAT MAKE ME GO INSANE!!!! INSANE!!!!!!

These three songs (each word with a different link) by Chase Noseworthy that mgmdmfhmdhmfhmdfhmdfghmfg. nagdfnhgmdfhh. I'm good. bUT MAN. THIS MAN EMBODIES CALEB'S VOICE??? ITS SO GOOD??? Honorable mention to these two (same thing) as well. He has a lot of Caleb fansongs and honestly!!! hes so valid!!!

Okay anyway.

#6. What's something you have in common with this character?

This is actually a tough question because while I relate heavily to Caleb it's.... very hard to put the why into words.

He's very determined. He is the embodiment of burnt out gifted kid (no pun intended). He shows his affection through little gifts and quality time spent. He's willing to rip the entire world in half for the sake of those he loves. He really likes cats.

I think without getting into the nitty gritty details that is a Lot of my appeal for him.

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#7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

THE ART THAT I SEE OF HIM IS NEVER BAD. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT. NOT ONE PIECE OF MEDIA MADE FOR HIM THAT I HAVE SEEN IS ONE THAT I HAVE DISLIKED.

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#18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

While this would be an excuse for me to talk about widomauk I am instead forcing empire kids thoughts upon ye.

Caleb and Beau from the start were compelling. And their dynamic never stopped. They're the two humans of the group. They both came from less than ideal home-lives and then had horrible experiences with a person of authority in their lives. Neither of them cared that the other was a shitty person because the other understood. The other understood why they were a shitty person.

Early campaign empire kids is especially fascinating to me from Beau's perspective. Her trying to have a heart to heart with him only to have him walk away from her because he really does not like talking about himself in front of so many people. And her only response is to??? Just passive aggressively yell "WOOOOW. FUCKING COOL, CALEB!!!" At him!!! It is so fuckin funny but also shows that they are still learning to trust each other. Only to then be followed a couple episodes by Caleb apologizing and hugging her and for her to just??? Confusedly hug him back?? That awkward hug was EVERYTHING.

Beau: *schwacks her goggles over her eyes and then turns to Caleb* How do i look!? :3c

Caleb, without missing a beat: You look like a nerd.

I SIMPLY CARE THEM!! They are so stupid together but they are simply siblings!!! They care so much about each other. Caleb is literally willing to give up the safety of shelter for himself and the better half of the group in order for Beau to go on a date with Yasha. Beau sneaks Caleb into the biggest goddamn library which also happens to be the place where everyone hates her just in order for him to get some information. Caleb holding onto Beau for security while concentrating on a spell.

I could go on-- I won't.

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#22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

OHHH MY GOOOHHHODD

When they make him speak German!!! Especially when they make him speak German correctly!!!! It is actually very rare that I see good dialogue written for Caleb where he will slip into Zemnian (which is. just the German language but renamed for the campaign). Especially writing him where he speaks Zemnian when he's tired!! Acknowledging that he doesn't think in Common!!!!!

ALSO WHEN THEY DESCRIBE HIS SPELLS!!! There's. admittedly there's one fic in particular that I am thinking of while typing this out but I will refrain from linking it.

But describing his spellwork and his little quirks that he does and... god. He's so so complex to work with but when you get it right??? Hough.

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#25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I think I immediately liked him hHSDHGhGHDHG.

No but seriously I think seeing enough of Caleb from clips is what made me start watching it. I knew I was going to love him from the start. And that hasn't changed. He is, i think by now, one of my top 5 characters in media?? Like I do not realistically have a defined list but I can guarantee he has a spot somewhere on top 5.

.

Yeah okay I knew this was going to be much worse when I was thinking about my answers for this but hhhhHOUHGHHFGHH. WHOOPSIES!!!!

Thank you rar for indulging me to ramble about him. He makes me feel so normal (<- I say with a dazed and far off stare on my face).

[anarkhebringer]

hi i'm back, can i get some more modern felix stuff please? just anything you can think of would be perfect!

Hiiiii nonny, welcome back~~~

But anyway yee, you may have a lot of random modern Felix stuffs. I’m always happy to deliver. I’m gonna try to not make it too long, but it’s already a mile long now by the time I’ve made most of the main points so I might as well just roll with it a bit. This is definitely gonna be a very long read.

Living with his aunt for the number of years he has eventually led him to developing an occasional southern drawl when he speaks, since his aunt has one. It’s a very rare thing though, and almost never happens. When it does though, he HATES IT.

The influences on his speaking from his aunt mostly shows in his wording of things, since sometimes when he gets spirited about something he says “y’all” and such all the time. One time when Sylvain was just being Sylvain, and neither Felix nor Ashe could calm him, Felix just muttered “y’all’re gonna bleed me dry someday…” Sylvain and Ashe thought it was the cutest fuckin’ thing, and Sylvain calmed down after that. Neither mentioned the drawl though since they quickly learned from hearing stories that Felix will get really pissed if you tease him about it or even mention it too much for his tastes. Which is just mentioning it at all.

He’s not easily scared at all, but just walking past him wrong can make him jolt from being startled sometimes. That’s something from his traumas that’s finally starting to come to the forefront that couldn’t before, since he could suppress everything that hindered his progress in combat, but he can’t do that anymore.

He’s gotten to be a person who can really enjoy his leisure due to his really deep dive into depression that happened after he got his ability to be in combat taken away from him. He and Linhardt could have had a competition to see who can fall asleep while standing up and stay standing the longest. He has medication that helps keep him awake enough to not be able to do that anymore though, but he has really bad insomnia now as a result of his completely chaotic and inconsistent sleeping schedule. His stress wrinkles in the inner corners of his eyes are completely covered by the dark circles under them now that really shows his wear and exhaustion.

He won’t at all complain if he’s given a task to do by someone that isn’t in his household, and it’ll keep his mind active and keep his mood in a positive place if he isn’t overworked. He does get drained way easier now though if what he’s asked to do involves socializing or interacting with anyone in any way too much.

When he’s drained socially, he becomes very aggressive and unstable. He’ll get like he used to be and completely isolate, and lash out if you interrupt what he’s doing and you don’t want to actively participate. He’d still get mad that you interrupted him though, and he probably won’t let you participate unless you’re among a certain handful of people.

Ashe and Claude are the only two people who don’t mentally drain him whatsoever, and he could see them literally every day if they wanted to do that. Ashe because Felix cares for him so much, and Claude because they’re so similar. He and Claude don’t drain each other because they can go literal months without speaking, then pick up on what they left off on like they only stopped talking for a day or two. Same with Ashe, though Felix becomes slightly noticeably more down and sad when he doesn’t see Ashe for too long a timespan.

He has a secret love of cuddling, and also hides his full support of platonic PDA, cuddling, and even kisses and such if there’s enough mutual trust between the ones involved. He’s very touch-averse and sensitive to others touching him, so he only really lets Ashe, Claude, and Sylvain touch him to show affection. Only Ashe can do much, and he only really tolerates Sylvain’s occasional one-armed hugs or quick pats on the shoulder as he walks by. Ashe however can hug him (after making his desires to do so known of course), hold his arms, and even his hands, since Ashe is the kind to show affection by physical means whenever he’s allowed to do so. They even cuddle at night when Ashe stays overnight at his apartment.

He actually lets Sylvain cuddle with him too when Sylvain really needs the affection during hard times, though he never returns it unless he does so while he’s asleep. It’s become a comforting thing to wake up to, feeling the warmth of Sylvain against him and his arms wrapped around Felix’s frame, even though Felix didn’t really want it to become that. At first, anyway.

His depressive rut wasn’t all bad in some cases, and because of the isolation he went into, he’s become extremely artistic and tech savvy since he didn’t have much to do to occupy himself. Being extremely brainy as is really helped him get going with these things.

He’s also learned to hack and code on the computer from that rut too, and he could get you into anything you wanted him to. He knows all sorts of ways to hide himself under all sorts of circumstances, and clear his tracks if he’s found, so he could actually be extremely dangerous if he were to use this knowledge and skill for anything shady. The most he uses it for is to make modifications to games and explore the Dark Web as anonymously as possible when his morbid curiosities get the best of him, though.

Well, there have been times where he’s used his skills to scare people. There have been times where people have threatened his friends (namely Claude and Ashe), and to scare the bullies off, he hid himself and hacked into their devices to make text documents warning them to stay away or else there would be trouble, because they’re always being watched. That always managed to scare them off on the first try, and he’s never done anything more than that, because there was no need.

He’s super protective of what few friends he has. He’d willingly put himself in danger for them all the time, unless of course they got themselves into the mess they’re in and he feels they don’t really deserve to be helped out of a situation that’ll be them learning their lesson. Otherwise, he’s borderline obsessed with his friends’ safety and happiness. It’s hard to really see that outside of sudden outbursts from him, since he’s so averse to socialization and unable to understand/express emotions well, but if he’s really needed and he can mentally handle it, you’d best believe he’d be completely focused on doing whatever he could do to help a friend in need for as long as they needed him.

Stuff like this has his friends really knowing who he is eventually, and he doesn’t like that. He’s actually really nice, but his way of showing it isn’t exactly common. Onlookers would think he’s just indifferent unless he’s feeling particularly chipper and/or manic, but his friends get to be on the receiving end of conversation and see him do more personal things compared to others, so they know he’s far nicer than even he thinks he is. He’s become oddly patient compared to his old self, and can hold a conversation for a while longer than he used to. If you get him talking about certain topics, though, you could manage to talk with him for literal hours on end.

He’s overall pretty chill now. Depression has taken the constant explosive anger out of him. He’s still always angry and bitter to some degree, but not to the point of lashing out at every little thing that upsets him. He’s still just as blunt as he was before, but he’s become a lot more passive-aggressive and/or condescending when it shows, instead of sudden outbursts and hurling insults around at all turns. And to those who have received both from him, the current version of his aggression hurts them a lot more, since he shows so little emotion during the times he throws something out to hurt them. All they see is (sometimes) in his body language, and the bitter fogginess in those eyes from how empty he’s become. Even his tone has changed. He’s not as aggressive sounding unless he’s more angry than usual, but he’s got a bitter tone. Or worse, he sounds almost monotone, like he feels absolutely nothing. If he’s got the tone of voice he used to have before, know that he’s on the verge of snapping and lashing out, and that goes from angry sounding to yelling at any time. And he yells loud.

He tends to cry a bit more than he used to now, since he gets overstimulated really easily. He can hold it in around other people most of the time unless it’s particularly overwhelming and getting even worse. It sometimes reminds Sylvain of when they were kids, but then he feels bad thinking of it like that since Felix has more going on in his head than he did back then. He’s trying to work on stopping that association, and he’s starting to get better at not thinking of Felix when he was a kid when he cries.

He used to parade around talking about how he wasn’t one to laugh and joke, but nowadays he’s not like that anymore. He still won’t joke often, and jokes go right over his head and he doesn’t get it and may ruin it usually, but he lets himself laugh at things he finds funny. Not around other people, though. Unless it’s from something else he finds funny, like a YouTube video. His laugh is like an odd mix between Vinny from Vinesauce, Bluesdank, and FPS Diesel. He’s the rare kind of person that’ll laugh in 10 different ways in one sitting and them all be real laughter. The sound of his laughter isn’t too consistent at times.

There’s another reason he can’t do much anymore aside from his depression, and that’s because a year or so ago he had a fit of smaller seizures that shocked his system really bad because of how long it lasted. After that, his mental regression that was already happening because of what he has has gotten much faster in its progression.

Despite these new growing limits he has, he’s still doing his best to keep going and existing on doing what he can do with what he has, and he’s shifted from being solely focused on a person’s skills in battle to how much heart they have due to it. He won’t care about combat skills anymore if you aim to impress him, he cares more about what you bring to the table. Your skills with a sword don’t show what you put your heart into in life and what you do for yourself and others. If you wanna impress him, give him a gift from the heart, not anything store bought. Do something nice for someone. Draw him a picture, write him a letter, pick him some flowers you think he’d like. Maybe take him to the park? Talk to him about your interests, voice your opinions on what you enjoy. Something that you can put your heart into, and I can’t stress it enough. He cares about a person’s core more than their fighting prowess now. He’s sworn off of focusing so much on fighting forever since he got the ability to do so himself taken form him, and he refuses to still dwell on it with others, too.

Alright, that’s gonna be where I cut it off for now. Hopefully that was a good read. I’ve made Felix go through some shit in this AU, but hey, he’s one of the characters I picked to put a theme of healing and strength onto, so I gotta give him some lore to get him to the point of being so different now. Plus a softer Felix makes me warm inside, so I wanted to incorporate that in, too.