#i'm like never on my laptop anymore and like HELL i'd come here at work lol

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Prompt-a-long, and based on a true story.]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) 9: intimidation (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

John jerks his head up from his laptop the second he realises something alarming:

The flat is quiet.

'Sherlock.'

'Hmm?' Sherlock doesn't look up from his experiment.

'Where's Rosie?'

Sherlock raises his hand to point. 'She's right--' He finally actually raises his head. 'Oh. Dear.'

'Hell,' John curses, ignoring a shot of pain as he stands too quickly.

Sherlock's Voice of Reason tendencies are very useful here. He puts himself in front of John and forces his gaze. 'Don't let's panic. She didn't grow wings, nor is it likely she suddenly gained the physical capacity to climb a baby gate. So she's just hidden herself somewhere. She probably thinks it's a game. You search the sitting room, I'll take the loo and then the kitchen. Alright?'

John nods, and promises himself he'll show Sherlock his appreciation later. Possibly with something beyond the snatched kisses they've managed so far. 'Alright.'

Three minutes later, he hears Sherlock's long sigh. 'John.' John strides over to where the detective is standing in front of his bedroom door. 'Apparently…'

'It locks?'

'It locks.'

'What about the second loo door?'

Sherlock grimaces. 'I always keep that one locked from the inside.'

'Alright, where's your key?'

'I don't have a key for either door. Never did do.'

John leans in towards the door. 'Rosie?' he calls, trying to keep his tone calm.

'Yeah, Daddy!'

The air escapes his lungs in a great dirty whoosh. 'Oh thank Christ,' he mutters. He raises his head and turns to Sherlock. 'Can you go see if--'

Sherlock's already halfway out the kitchen door, calling back, 'I'm sure she'll have one.'

But Mrs Hudson does not, in fact, have one, she tells John once she's come upstairs, wringing her hands as best she can with her wrist in a soft cast. 'I'm sorry! I'll call a locksmith straight away.'

'Nonsense,' Sherlock says over her. 'My lockpicks are, unhelpfully, behind the locked door, but I bet you could get me a hairpin and a nail file, please?'

John looks at Mrs Hudson and shrugs. 'Not things I keep on hand, I'm afraid.'

'Oh, pah, you boys. I'll be back in a tic.'

'Do you think you can actually pick it?' John asks quietly as soon as he can hear her feet on the stairs.

'Erm…possibly.'

'Possibly.'

'It's quite old and disused, John.'

'And?'

'And that means rust. Decay. Mechanisms that don't work anymore.'

'Christ,' John mutters. He puts his forehead to the door again. 'Sweetheart?' he calls.

'Daddy?'

'Will you open the door for me, Rosie?'

'Ermmm, no,' she says clearly.

'God grant me patience,' he says to himself, and jerks his head up when he hears Sherlock laugh.

'Sorry,' Sherlock says, clearly not sorry at all, 'but you sound like my mother.'

'Yes, I'd imagine she needed a deep well of patience to raise you.'

'Endless. Rosamund?' he says to the door. 'Do you want to unlock that door so you can help me with an experiment?'

John eyes him, but if it works, then--

'Nope,' she replies, popping her P like a certain someone.

'She's evil,' John mutters.

'She's stubborn.'

'She gets that from you.'

'I beg your pardon,' Sherlock says, quite offended. 'I am reasonable.'

'Sure. When you're not being stubborn.'

Sherlock pivots very unsubtly. 'Ms Watson, if you unlock that door, then Mrs Hudson will bake you some of those cakes you like.'

John pushes against his shoulder. 'Her wrist is broken!' he whispers incredulously.

'We can buy some at the bakery,' Sherlock whispers back. 'She'll never know.'

'You're evil.'

'Yes, well, you let me past the threshold, so you can really only blame yourself.'

'No, thank you!' Rosie calls back.

John rolls his eyes. 'Sure, she's polite for Mrs Hudson.'

'Clever.'

'Not helpful.'

'We could try intimidation.'

'Could we, though?' John asks, bemused.

'You can be very intimidating when you like, despite your stature.'

'Thanks,' he replies dryly.

But before they can debate the merits of trying to intimidate a toddler into doing anything, Mrs Hudson re-appears with the requested items. 'Oh, I do hope you can pick it, Sherlock. I will be very disappointed in your skills otherwise, you speak so highly of them.'

John coughs a laugh into his hand. 'Thanks, Mrs H.'

Twenty minutes later, though, John's growing desperate, texting everyone in his phone to see if they have any brilliant ideas. Wondering how much it would cost to just lift the door off it's hinges.

In the end, he should have known to just ring Molly first. 'Just put me on, okay?' she says quickly. John does as requested. 'Hi, Rosie!' she says cheerfully via speakerphone.

John and Sherlock exchange a look. 'Rosie,' John says, trying to keep his tone pleasantly neutral. 'If you come out, you can talk to Aunt Molly,'

They all hold their breath.

Then the lock turns.

[❤️]

[nescaveckwriter]

Paintbrushes and Romance

Part One 🥰

Dean x reader

A/N: this is my first ever written piece on here, so let me know what y'all think, much love my little twinkies💞

Warnings: Talking of killing, swearing, police case, not sure what else.

,..............

The smell of freshly grounded coffee beans fills the cozy little coffee shop. There's about six or seven tables in the middle, but you always choose the little corner seat, mostly everyday you sit there, watching people, listening conversations, finding inspiration.

No one except the waitress ever notices you, though that's the way you like it, sitting there admiring the way autumn takes over the leaves, its always been your favourite season ever since you were that little girl, running around, playing with the leaves, your parents would get so mad at you, for messing up the garden, a smile tugs at the corner of your lips, your thoughts get inturupted by the waitress, need a fill up? Ah! Yes please Julie, I'd appreciate that, not getting much work done today, saying with a smile. Sure, Julie said, you'll get there, one day I'll know what you do for a living I guess... You laugh a little, yeah one day.

It's not that your in the secret service or something, its just, you are a very private person, despite the fact that you're a social media influencer, and an author of three best selling books. You're actually busy working on a new book right now, but its going slow, you need inspiration of the male character, but just can't seem to find one, hell you can't even think of one, and since its one of those spicy romance books, you can't exactly base the character loosely on your brother, that'll be damn weird. Deep in thought, you hear the bell of the door, chime, welcoming a new customer. You look up from your laptop and see its two men , one man looks like a freaking giant, brownish hair, kinda messy looking, hanging over his ears, the other one a bit shorter but still tall, with his dark blondish hair, neatly spiking in the air, with a little stubble beard enhancing the already amazing, sharp jaw line, pink rose plump lips forming a smile when he excitedly said, with a kinda gruffy voice, look Sammy, they've got pecan pie. Yeah okay! Let's take a seat, and try to behave said the taller one.

You can't help it, you are drawn too him, like a moth to a flame, you quickly look in your flower tote bag, grabbing your sketch book and favourite pencil, and with out waisting anymore time , you pick up the pencil and start sketching the outline, of his nearly perfect face, getting swept away in the aroma of the coffee, the outline of his face, the way his savouring every single bite of the pie, you just have to sketch this man, maybe you can loosely base your books character on him, damn he sure is good-looking you think sketching away.

.............

Damn Sammy, this pie is just what I needed, Dean said. How is it possible that we never came to this coffee shop, Dean said, looking over at Sam eating his salad, dude he said, live a little, try some pie! I'm fine, thanks man, you know I prefer healthy choices Sam said with a not amused look on his face. Yeah well, whatever, I prefer living a little, we can die at anytime with our line of work Dean said.

Dean can hear a sort of muddled sound of his brother's telling him something, but can't really focus, in the corner, is a woman sitting with black jeans and a black top with a long mustard yellow jersey, with flat shoes matching the black, the light coming through, shining on one side, making her appear like an angel, with a messy hair bun and loose pieces of hair framing hair face, she's wearing glasses with a purplish frame, complimenting her pale, white skin, she's biting her lip, while focussing on something, not quite sure what it is. She is medium built, definitely not the type of women he goes for with their sleek long legs and high heels, but damn she was beautiful, a kind of beautiful Dean had rarely seen!

Dean! Hey! Dude! Snap out of it, Sam said while hitting Dean on the shoulder! What! Is your problem Sam, Dean said frustration clearly in his voice. What the hell man, I've been talking for the past few minutes, and then I just lost you. Bite me, Dean said. Clearly confused Sam taking a bite of his salad, you okay Dean, is it this case that has you all worked up? Yeah maybe! We need to get this guy before he kills anyone else, Dean said frown visible taking another bite of pie, keeping an eye on you in the distance, thinking you take his breath away without even saying a single word...

[viridiansworld]

Pairing: Yeosang x reader(fem)

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, smut, unprotected sex, oral sex(female receiving), fingering, nipple play, some fluff, happy ending, a little sappy but worth it, name-calling (use of princess and darling once)

Synopsis: All you want is a good night's rest after a long week but your noisy neighbor can't seem to give you a moment of peace, best to go knock on his door....

I had just laid my head down on my pillow. The cool feeling on my cheek enveloping me. I could tell I was gonna sleep so good. I closed my eyes and let myself relax, looking forward to the good sleep that my body was hopeful for after a long week of stressful work. I had just begun to doze when it started. I knew it was too good to be true. That HE was for once not making some sort of racket next door.

"Yunho what the hell! You were supposed to be covering me!" A long pause then "Let's rendezvous back at home base and then we'll go back in on their camp."

My delightful neighbor, who was an avid gamer, was back at his weekend antics. Sunday through Thursday he didn't play anything past 10 pm. He was normal and actually slept so he could go to work the next day. But once Friday hit, he barely slept and played video games practically all night long. He was super handsome, why wasn't he out at the club or going on dates? He never had people coming over to his place...but he obviously had friends. He would yell at them while playing online games. "Cover me bro!" Or one of their many inside jokes being yelled at any given time. This was all so frequent that I knew all their names too. Yunho, Jongho, Wooyoung, San, Seongwha, Hongjoong, and Mingi. It was odd to feel like I personally knew these people but they didn't even know I existed.

My apartment had only one bedroom and it shared a wall with this gaming asshole. Sometimes I would have to sleep on the couch just to have peace and quiet on the weekends. We'd had neighborly interactions. A few months ago when he moved in I helped him with some boxes when I got home from work. He was an IT guy and he actually helped me set up my new TV and had fixed my laptop once. We had casual conversation whenever we saw each other. In the parking lot, in the elevator, while picking up the mail, at the small grocery store down the street. After the late night gaming started I had asked him nicely on a few occasions to be a bit more considerate about his volume and he'd smiled and assured me he'd keep it down...which he never did. So I'd ask again, and he'd say the same thing but just like every time before, he'd be on his usual fuckery like I hadn't asked him at all.

I let out a long sigh of frustration before rolling over on my stomach and putting my pillow over my head. Hoping for a solution to the noise but the muffled shouts at Seongwha still could be heard.

I'm not a confrontational person, I would even say I'm a push over for the most part. Every time I would ask him to keep it down I was basically so nice and passive, just being too kind about the whole thing. He was nice, had never been rude a single day since he moved in-outside of the gaming and yelling that is. So that made it hard for me to be mean, it just wasn't in my nature. Until now that is.

I tossed and turned in my bed. Every ounce of commentary coming from the room next door was keeping me from sleeping. After an hour of tossing and turning I couldn't take it anymore and I'd be damned if I'm sleeping on my couch one more weekend. I jumped out of bed and marched myself through my living room, past my kitchen and right out of my front door. To hell with shoes!

I banged on his door with my balled up fist, not holding back any of my frustrations. I waited about a minute and then I banged again when nobody answered.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I could here him call from inside. He swung the door open and shock crossed his eyes. Hell shock even crossed mine. He was shirtless, with black sweatpants low on his hips. My eyes took in the whole sight but I quickly righted my eyes to focus on his face. Only his face. God I hope he didn't notice my cheeks burning. I tried to play off my embarrassment and dove right into the whole reason I was banging on his door to begin with. 

"Yeosang I'm trying to sleep and all I can hear is you yelling at your buddies." I crossed my arms, half trying to hide the fact I wasn't wearing a bra and half because I was so frustrated with him.  My tattered, well worn, over sized t-shirt that was my most favorite and comfiest thing to wear to bed was not what I should have worn to confront my neighbor.

He leaned against the doorway of his apartment and put one hand in his sweatpants pocket while the other ran through his hair. His bare...sculpted...muscled...chest...flexed with every movement making heat come to cheeks. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! I mentally slapped myself trying to stay focused. Swallowing my embarrassment and the lump in my throat I found my voice again.

"I'd really appreciate it if you could keep it down."  I said, playing up my annoyed tone

"It's really not that late, is it?" He quipped back with a smile, making me grit my teeth.

"It's past midnight Yeosang" I said flatly.

"Oh, um...I'm really sorry, I-uh- I know I get a little carried away." He ran a hand through his dark hair again. It was slightly wavy and a little fluffy from maybe air drying? WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HIS HAIR ROUTINE? He smirked and chuckled, snapping me out of my thought. He then shifted his weight from one side of the door frame to the other, leaning on his opposite shoulder now. My eyes snuck a peak at his body again as he moved and I hated myself for it. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath in to try and regain any ounce of my composure I had when I barged over here. He was chuckling at me all while looking so damn attractive, it pissed me off! Was he really laughing at my frustration?

"You're an ass you know that? Some of us had shit weeks and want some rest! I'm tired of busting my ass all week to have to sleep on my couch every weekend to get some damn peace from you! Of all the neighbors to have I just had to get you didn't I!?" I don't know if it was me being grumpy from work or what exactly possessed me, but I didn't have a second thought when my right hand flew up and shoved his chest as I spat my words at him. He barely budged at all and my plan had been to attack and then run away....like an idiot kid...but I didn't even get a chance to turn away. He quickly grabbed my wrist before I could pull my arm back. He whipped me forward and the next thing I knew my body was sandwiched between him and the door frame he was just leaning on. My arm over my head,wrist pinned just above us. Once I registered what had happened all of my senses flooded with him. His scent, earthy and masculine. His feel, firm and solid. His breath tickling my nose because he was so close.

"I might be an ass for being loud...but maybe I was doing it on purpose... to make you talk to me." His eyes were searching mine as he spoke. I was frozen in place, stunned by him being this close to me, shocked from the words he was saying. "I'm sorry your week was shit." He said as he brushed a stray hair out of my face. His voice was husky but soft and warm. "I'm really glad to be your neighbor, I'm just...not good at talking to people that I like..." His checks grew pink and he looked down "and sleeping on the couch?" He shook his head and sighed "I'm sorry I drove you to that, that's not what I was trying to do..." He looked up, his brown eyes found mine again and I could see how genuinely sorry he was.

He let my wrist go from above us and I decided to let it rest on his firm muscled shoulder. In response to me not pulling away his hands moved to rest on my hips, they felt scorching hot against the thin material of my tshirt.

All this time he was being noisy to keep having me ask him to keep it down. Normally people just ask to hang out so they can get to know each other, but apparently not Yeosang. Maybe I should have been brave and made the first move weeks ago. I was attracted to him and had definitely been crushing on him. Now here I was sandwiched between him and his door frame with our hands on each other. I had a decision to make.

"Make it up to me." I said breathaly, maintaining the intense eye contact as the tension between us started to boil.

The recognition of what I was asking sparked in his eyes and I immediately hooked my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him to me, crashing my lips onto his. They melted against mine with a softness, his hint of stubble gently scratching against me. He swiped his tongue across my bottom lip asking for entrance and I opened. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled my body closer to him as he deepened the kiss, me body melding against his. Taking it from soft and sensual to needy and urgent.

Yeosang slid his hands from my hips to my ass and lifted me up with ease, making me squeal a little from surprise. He chuckled and smiled against my lips as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He started carrying me into his apartment after kicking the door shut with a thud. I held tight to him and kissed down his jaw line, peppering kisses over his neck as he walked. The apartment was dimly lit with ambient light and I couldn't make out much, not like I was paying attention to anything other than the man I was currently clinging to.

The next thing I knew he was lowering himself on to his couch with me shifting my legs to straddle him. In the new position where I was sitting on his lap I could feel his hard length pressed against my core. The only thing separating us were my panties and his sweatpants. My lips wasted no time in finding his again and I slid both my hands in his hair. I confirmed instantly that he had definitely taken a shower and his hair was slightly damp. I moaned into our sloppy kisses at the thought of him in the shower. His hands that were gently kneading my ass firmly pulled me forward making me rub across his erection creating delicious friction for the both of us. With my hand fisted in his hair I tugged gently as a rocked against him on my own free will now. Reveling in the feeling if him brushing my clit. He broke away from my kisses to lean his head back and suck in air through his teeth. His spoke in a low gravely tone that gave me goosebumps

"Thought I was supposed to be making it up to you? Hm? Why are you now treating me?" He squeezed my hips that were steadily rocking against him.

"Oh, darling I'm treating myself, you just happen to be getting some perks" I chuckled and reached for the hem of my shirt.  I pulled it up and over my head tossing it to the side. With my body bare to him his hands started roaming upwards. I kept a steady pace rocking against him, stoking my own pleasure, as i held on to his shoulders and threw my head back.

His hands cupped my breasts, the pads of his thumbs gently brushing over my nipples making them stand at attention. When his mouth wrapped around one hardened peak and sucked it cause me to whine in over sensitive pleasure. "Yeosang, ah-" he sucked harder making me dig my nails into his shoulders. He switched from one breast to the other, repeating his labors. My gasps and moans were the only sounds filling the room until he released my nipple with a pop making me whine at the loss of his mouth.

"Princess you've soaked through my sweatpants. We might as well get rid of the rest of these clothes...but first" he stood up making me squeal and hold on tight around his neck, he hooked his arms under me to make sure I didn't fall. "Let's go somewhere I bit more comfortable"

"I have legs! I can walk you know!" I swatted his back with my hand as he walked through the doorway into his bedroom, the lamp on the nightstand cast the whole room in a warm light

"Not for long" he chuckled darkly, sending goosebumps across my skin. He laid me down on his bed kissing the crook of my neck and then trailing tiny kisses across my chest, each breast, and worked his way lower till he got to the hem of my panties. He pauses looked up at me with dark and mischievous eyes. I bit my lip in anticipation and could feel my cheeks burn. He hooked his thumbs into the waist band of my panties and peeled them off of me before tossing them to the side. His trail of kisses continued, kissing the nook of where my thighs met hips. He reached an arm around each thigh and pulled me to the very edge of the bed where he waited on his knees with hungry eyes. I had gasped in shock and my chest was heaving from the anticipation of what his next move would be.

"Can I keep making it up to you?" He cocked his eyebrow at me waiting for my response.

"Please" I breathed, nodding my head, wanting nothing more than for this man to devour me. He smirked and quickly places my legs over his shoulders before wrapping his arms back underneath me and around thighs. I was spread out for him like a buffet and he waisted no time in tasting.

The flat of his hot tongue made contact with me and i arched my back in response. My slickness was everywhere and he lapped it up quickly making me squirm.

"Easy princess, I'm just getting started." He kissed my inner thigh before diving back in. He traced my lips with his tongue, teasing me and sending me into a relaxed state before he slowly dragged the tip of his tongue from my pulsing core all the way to my clit. He circled me a few times lazily before setting a punishing pace and digging his fingers into my thighs to hold me still.

My breathing was eradic, my body was practically convulsing at the attentive skills he was using. I used every ounce of my control to steady my breathing and focus on him, his tongue, and the feelings he was giving me. The white hot euphoria started burning in my gut, it sent tingles through out my body and I couldn't resist it. I was sent tumbling over the edge by it, gasping and crying out.

"Yeosang, oh god, oh god, please, fuck" my hips bucked but he didn't stop, he quickly shifted positions holding me steady and slowly put 2 fingers into my pulsing core and massaged the spot inside me that was already so sensitive. He did that while keeping his tongue steady on my clit.

Tears began burning my eyes as he stoked the white hot burning feeling all over again, my shaking body was secured by his muscular frame. "Yeosang, fuck, I'm coming!" When I came again i unleashed a flood onto his hand. My cunt pulsed around his fingers as aftershocks continued making me whimper. I had fisted his bed sheets so much they were wrecked and disheveled all around me. I'm sure they were ruined in other ways after what Yeosang had just coaxed from me.

"Oh princess" he kissed my thighs as he gently pulled his fingers out of me. Making me whimper at the over sensitivity "you are so fucking beautiful. Is it bad to say I dreamed of this moment?" He slipped his dripping fingers into his mouth as he sucked them clean. He then licked his palm clean of all my essence and smiled at me like he was pleased beyond measure.

"I can't even form words right now Yeosang" I panted, light headed from what just happened.

"Good, means I'm making it up to you in the right way." He massaged my hips where he was holding me down, it tickled and felt good all at the same time making me sigh. "We're still not finished though princess, I have a lot more making up to do." He stood up from being on his knees and slid his sweatpants down freeing his length. Having felt it through the material earlier, I could tell he was thick and long but seeing it, thick and long might not begin to cover it. My mouth hung open in shock as it bobbed, my gaze traveled from it to Yeosangs eyes and all I could do was gulp and bite my lip. I used what little bit of strength I had to push myself back farther onto the bed and Yeosang crawled up and over me, caging me in with his arms and settled his legth against my stomach. I pressed up against him to feel it press into my skin. Everything about this man was scorching, the heat radiating off of him was dizzying.

"Anxious are we?" Yeosang dipped his head down to kiss me softly

"I trust you" I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the base of his neck. "I'm...on birth control....an IUD....you don't have to...you can..."  I closed my eyes to not look at him.

He chuckled and kissed me softly again "I don't have to wrap it up is what you mean?"

"Yeah....that" my face was hot with embarrassment which he noticed but he quickly kissed each of my pink cheeks and then rested his forehead against mine.

"Look at me" he whispered and I opened my eyes, our faces so close " I'm gunna fill you up with cum and mark you as mine princess, and you're never gunna sleep on a couch again because of my dumb ass. The only thing keeping you up at night from here on out will be my tongue and my cock, and if you're not in your bed you're gunna be in mine."

My pussy throbbed at his words, and I hoped he was fucking serious. His lips crashed over mine and marked me with a searing kiss before he pulled away and leaned back. My arms released him and I laid them above my head in his pillows. My wetness was still everywhere so he slid his cock across my center, coating his length. He rocked against my clit making me gasp and fist the pillows above my head.

"You ready princess?" He asked lining himself up with my entrance.

"Yes, please Yeosang" I begged, I needed to feel him, I wanted to take all of him. He pushed the tip in slowly, my body opening up to him as much as it could. "More please more" I cried and he obliged. His hands firmly gripped my hips as he pushed farther into me, the sting of the stretch feeling painful and pleasurable at the same time. "Fuck, Yeosang, it hurts so good" I pouted with tears blurring my vision, wanting to feel more of him. My walls pulsed slightly as he pushed farther in making him hiss between gritted teeth and once he bottomed out I felt sweat droplets hit my stomach.

He was so focused on not hurting me he was straining to keep control. His hands had been gripping my thighs but he brought one hand up to my stomach now to wipe the sweat away. "Fuck Yeosang, do you see it?" I asked looked down between us. My breathing was ragged and I had focused on relaxing my body as he pushed into me.Now looking at us connected at our roots I could see the head of his cock bulging through my lower abdomen. He pressed his palm flat to it and smirked as he felt his cock. "Oh princess" he sighed as more sweat droplets fell onto my stomach. "Imma try not to break you" he slid out slowly and then pushed back in making my head roll back and moans to leave my mouth. "You like that I fill you so deep princess?" He slid out and pushed back in again, all while keeping his palm flat on my stomach.

"Yes, yeosang, yes!" I whined. I was already seeing stars as he pulled out for a third time and slid back in. The initial stretch was completely replaced with pure ecstasy now. My body stretching and adjusting to his size quickly. It wanted more of him, every time he called my princess it stoked something inside of me. Every time he touched my skin it set me on fire. He set a slow pace at first, gaging my reaction. I was putty in his hands as he pumped in and out of me. His hands found my breasts and he toyed with my nipples drawing more whines from me.

His pace quickened and had me pleading his name over and over again. I pleaded for him to fill me up. I wanted to feel his cock throbbing inside of me. My words making him mad with arousal, stroking his ego at how good he was making me feel. He hitched one of my ankles over his shoulder and slid his hand to my core and used the pad of his thumb to make circles over my clit. "Cum on my cock princess, I need you to cum for me. Let me make it up to you." The burning coil in my stomach snapped and I was spilling over. His name falling from my lips along with a string of curses as he fucked me through my orgasm. He brought my leg down from his chest and wrapped it around his waist with my other leg. As he pumped into me the drag and pulsing of my walls sending him over the edge into his own orgasm. "Fuck princess, you're fucking mine." He grunted as he laid over top of me, his head buried into the crook of my neck as he painted my insides with his seed. His elbows planted on either side of my head supporting himself.

Our labored breathing was all that could be heard. He relaxed his body on top of mine as I drew patterns on his back with my finger tips. He stayed inside of me until he went soft and only then slid out. "I'll be right back" he said as he eased off of me and headed towards the bathroom. I heard the sink running for a minute and then he came back with a washcloth. He gently placed it over my core and let me relax at the warmth for a minute.  I appreciated the thoughtfulness and attentiveness, seeing this whole new side to him made me want to see more of what Yeosang was like. He then cleaned me up as best as he could before taking the washcloth back to the bathroom. When he came back he stood by the bed saying "Come here" he reached a hand out for me to grab and when I did he pulled me up and over his shoulder like he was a cave man and I was his prize.

"Yeosang!!!!" I squealed and smacked his ass with my hand as I hung upside down, helpless.

"Hold on, I'm just getting rid of the comforter, you ruined it ya know." he chuckled and smacked my ass back making me yelp. After only a second he put me back down on the bed that was just covered by his sheets. The comforter was now in a pile on the floor.

Off in the distance a ringtone could be heard, "Uh, give me one second, my phones ringing." He quickly turned and headed out if his room, allowing me to check out his ass before her headed to his gaming room I assumed. I could hear him answer the phone.

"Hey Seongwha, what's up?"

"Yeah, sorry I abandoned you guys" I could hear him walking back towards the bedroom. I had crawled under the covers and was waiting to see what more Yeosang was gunna say. He made it to the doorway and paused seeing me tucked into his bed waiting for him.

"I think I'm done playing video games for the night" he smiled seeing me there

"Yeah, I'm actually gunna be a bit more busy I think on weekends, might not be able to play as often." he walked over to the bed pulling back the sheets and getting under them. I started thinking back to all our interactions, the unspoken sexual tension that has always crackled between us...we were both just too chicken to do anything about it.

"I'll text you later okay? Have fun raiding their camp" he hung up and laid his phone on the nightstand. He used his arm to pull me into his side, not leaving any space between us. I rested my head on his chest as he kissed the top of my head and spoke softly "I'm gunna keep making it up to you in the morning princess, but first get some rest."

**Thanks for reading! This is my first "published" drabble so sorry for any grammatical errors or poor writing xD Hope you enjoyed! This was based off a dream I had once about Yeosang being a noisy apartment neighbor and I definitely woke up before anything spicy happened lol but I had to write this into something spicy lol**

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

There's not a lot I can do to surprise Eli anymore. We haven't been married very long but he's very adaptable and is used to all my bullshit by now. He may act surprised but he's not.

He is, however, a very heavy sleeper and this works to my advantage. If I can't surprise him, I can ambush him. He somehow didn't wake up when I opened the door FOUR times, nor did he wake up when Moses and I filled the room with stuff while tiptoeing and quietly giggling like two of the worst ninjas on earth. He didn't even really wake up when Moses, wanting to wake him up gently, got into bed with him and squeezed him. He just got squeezed back and trapped by a sleeping giraffe.

They laid there for a solid ten minutes before Eli was shaken awake by Moses laughing.

"Good morning. Ohhhh...good morning? You're here. Hi."

"Hi."

"Not at work?" Eli has rolled over and is trying to come back to Earth.

"Nah, fuck them kids."

The fact that he calls college students "kids", and chronologically has a right to do so, makes me wonder if we have to start acting our age soon. Not today, but soon.

I have my laptop open to friend Alex, and lay it on the bed so he can see her. She doesn't usually speak when she's on with him, just signs or types, but today she's talking for my benefit...and so Eli won't have to sign and also tell me what she said so early in the morning.

"Why are you naked? Did I interrupt?"

He looks under the blanket before telling her he's not naked, just shirtless, and she says "not like I haven't seen it but it's too early."

He does end up interpreting, a little slowly, when Alex and I gang up to tease him.

"Why have you seen him naked? Should you have been the first wife instead of Shelby?" He glares at me while he signs this to her and also when I point blank ask him if they ever got spicy. It's just a question...I'm not convinced I'd even be bothered if they were doing it now.

Then they tell me how they met. Well, he does, and peppers in her comments as they come...she's kind of given up talking. He's waking up and signing faster now and holy shit it's impressive that he can do this at all. She was in a lecture hall with him, first day of a class, sitting in the front to try to read the professor's lips but this guy was a pacer. She couldn't see his face most of the time. Eli was sitting behind her, watching her leaning really far forward and trying to keep up...he put two and two together and went to sit next to her to help her. There was supposed to have been an aide there to interpret for her but there wasn't, and she was too shy to stop the guy and tell him to quit moving, I'm the deaf student you've been told you have, for the love of god stand still and let me try to read your damn lips.

After that class he went with her to the student resource center and helped her ask where the hell her interpreter was. As it turned out, it was a student volunteer because at that time that's all they had as far as access was concerned, and that person had forgotten they had their own class to go to and obviously went to that instead. Then he went with her to her counselor and they weren't much of a help either aside from being sorry. She left thinking she'd have to transfer schools or something similarly major. Eli told her "give me your schedule, we'll figure this out."

So my husband...and yes I did cry when they told me this, went to his own counselor that day and switched all of the rest of his classes to evenings so he could go to Alex's with her during the day.

She's talking again.

"But...I've seen him naked because he also interpreted for me at parties, until he was too drunk. Not easy to read drunk lips."

I'm so glad that I met him. I should celebrate him daily, more than I do, but today seems a good day to pour my love into him and try my best to show him his continued existence is a miracle to me. That we met at all boggles my mind still and yes I know I'll never get so lucky again. He's the kindest, most loving person I've ever met. 43 years on Earth today and by all accounts, he's been just the goodest boy around for the entire time.

@the-ukrainian-giraffe I'm so glad you were born. You're absolutely everything, I love you.

[fisherfurbearer]

I would absolutely live to hear about Future Plans and heritage fruits! My partners and I are looking at buying a house by the end of the year and I'm so excited at the prospect of a back yard to fill with food plants and gardening and everything! So I'd love to know more about someone else's plans!!

mmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YOU OPENED THE CAN OF WORMS THE WORMS ARE OPEN THEY ARE EVERYWHERE NOW!!!! OHHHHHHH JEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING CAN STOP THIS!!!!

MMMMMM. I LOVE. DOMESTIC CROPS AND ANIMALS. SO MUCH.

SPECIFICALLY “heritage” varieties. The pre-industrial/commercial varieties that people lived on for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years, or even the stuff younger than that, it’s just...so!! Good!!!

You didn’t QUITE ask for this but this is where I’m going with it. I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. The HISTORY of our domesticated crops (specifically fruits and vegetables, but mostly Tree Fruits!!!! But I’m also suuuuper partial to heirloom sweet potatoes/normal potatoes even though I don’t like the taste of sweet potatoes, they’re just SO FRICKING COOL and I want to learn more about other vegetables too) and animals is just....HOOOOO!!!!

Locally adapted,, perfect little....NUGGETS that just...perfectly fit their own SPECIFIC LITTLE NICHES...no matter WHERE you live, no matter HOW much space you have, no matter HOW good or bad your soil, NO MATTER WHAT, there is ALWAYS something to grow or raise, and we can thank so, so much of that to the incredible variety of heritage crops/animals (and methods of agriculture) out there. Mild, cold, hot! Lots of space, little space, no space!! Fertile, barren!! Every condition in every color and shape and flavor and size and ahhhhhhh!!!!! AHHHH!!!!

Hold onto your butts because this is one Hell of a Mega Ramble okay, there is so much to talk about here, oh man.

Some background, which you can skip if you want...!!! It’s a LOT and it get’s VERY NEGATIVE but also VERY GOOD AND HOPEFUL, it’s a real big story and it’s My Story and gives a lot of insight into Why I’m Like This but it’s okay to skip for sure!! Anyway:

I’ve been researching (i.e. writing literally 1.5-2k+ words nearly every single day) for literally 7 years now about all of my various Passions and Plans in life. Obviously breaks were taken due to Sad Times but no matter what I did, no matter what happened, I’d always come back to my dumb awful stupid notes. I have notes on my current laptop, my old harddrive, my SO’s laptop, my stepdad’s laptop, my SO’s OLD gaming laptop, my old netbook, my OLD OLD netbook, every phone I’ve had in the past 7 years (which has been like uhh...five? I have bad luck with phones..) and COUNTLESS pieces of paper and cheap composition books.

To call it research, it seems to silly. Writing these words here, to you strangers on the internet, I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how VITAL these notes are to my VERY EXISTANCE.

I have been researching and writing and talking to folks and asking questions and LIVING AND BREATHING this stuff for LITERALLY, LITERALLY HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS if not ALMOST A THOUSAND OR MORE HOURS at this point!!!! If we were to actually SOMEHOW backtrack all the way to late 8th grade/freshman year when I first started dipping my toes into reptiles and fell in love with my first jumping spider that landed on my arm after I read Darren Shan’s Cirque Du Freak, after being so fascinated by the intelligent giant magic tarantula in the first book, and gathered ALL of my notes from then to NOW (I’m 21 now, if I was in college, I’d be graduating next May) it would EASILY surpass that. For YEARS in high school my family thought I was always playing games on my laptop, but really from the moment I got home to the moment I went to bed, I was watching lets plays with one side of the screen and reading, reading, reading, and writing, writing, writing with the other. For HOURS. Every. Single. Day.

Hell, this has been my most recent “Renaissance” of writing, after The Big Realization of earlier this year (I’ll get to that), and this is AFTER I went on a horrible depressed/manic rampage and deleted like 80% of my notes (that would have been from...hmm. This is what I didn’t delete, what Jessie recovered, and what I’ve added...so March to Early September, when Jessie switched my notes to a new program (I lost a lot of notes from lack of autosaving so now they’re on our nextcloud so I can’t lose them...but I’m too stubborn to use it still) and this is still like. A lot.

Keep in mind the average 10-11 kb file is 1500-1700 words for me. My biggest files (only of the ones I still have, on this laptop) are 40-60 kb. (Also these are Big Secrets that I don’t ever show anyone but Jessie, who I’ve been with now for almost 7 years, so this is pretty dang important to me and a big thing to be revealing.)

Current folder I’m usually saving to:

Nextcloud I don’t bother to use usually but probably should use:

Again, this is ONLY on my newest laptop, and this DOESN’T include the files I deleted a few months ago, nor the files I lost from February-early April after Jessie updated my computer and wiped my files, and I still have a BUTTLOAD left on my old harddrive from last year, but we never moved it up and I don’t feel a need to. (I’ve learned so much. So. Much. In the past year. I think I’ve matured a lot and really become more...Me. But I’ll get to that.)

Also doesn’t include the SEVERAL notebooks I’ve filled front to back this year (cheap $0.50 ones from work...I’ve blown through a couple biggish ones and I think 2-3 little quarter-size memo books) and all the receipt papers I have crammed into my work uniform...

But anyway why is this important? It really helps iron in just how HUGE this is to me. My future “Plans” aren’t just...it’s really important to me. Okay? I am but a humble stranger on the internet and my life and everyone elses’ respective lives are infinitely more complex than we can ever dare imagine one anothers’ existences to be, but just trust me when I say that I’m not pulling this from nowhere, this shit isn’t some sort of “fad” to me, this has been a long, long series of events and realizations and heartbreaks and so, so much pain that have finally led to everything kinda falling into place sometime this year where it hit me.

You see...all of my research topics followed a pattern. It went, in my rough memory, something like this.

It started with reptiles. Lots of reptiles. So many reptiles. I was so naive and young then and my sources sucked and I was very much a novice who dreamed of owning all sorts of cool reptiles when I got older, and of getting a gecko when I went to college. That was how it started and it went downhill from there. I branched off into gardening (I wanted and still want a blue tongue skink and had thoughts about how I’d grow a garden for vegetables and squashes and stuff for the skink and feeder insects) and THAT grew into this whole THING about raised bed gardening, square foot gardening, then into permaculture, which planted the seed for many things to come...and now I’ve ALWAYS LOVED BIRDS,, but when I learned that keeping CHICKENS was a thing (thank you Jennifer (Nambroth)!!!!!!!!!! Our emails back and forth are still saved forever, our talks about chickens changed my life and way of thinking Forever!!!) and I researched that, then I’d jump back to reptiles again, and back to chickens, then more reptiles, then chickens and QUAIL, or OTHER poultry,, and so on and so on. This beautiful fluid branching path that would always rebound on itself and I’d drop some topics, gain new ones, revisit old ones, learn what I liked, what I didn’t like, what were brief interests, and what were there to stay.

Some topics (chickens, new caledonian geckos, antaresia pythons, tarantulas, gardening...) would always come back. No matter what I did...they came back. As I grew as a person, I started to figure out what was important to me (CONSERVATION, animal welfare, reptile/invertebrate enrichment, vivarium design, combining art with animals, and did I mention CONSERVATION? and combating climate change/The World but that came later.) and while some of those points didn’t show up in my research until later...like my obsession with native wildlife/plants and domestic species...it never went away.

And as I grew older, outside of my research life went on, and I really went through A Lot in these seven years. Undiagnosed anxiety/depression all through high school, practically living in the guidance office junior/senior year, dealing with an emotionally abusive and animal abuser teacher for many years, living with my emotionally abusive/narcissistic mother, and eventually going to an amazing art college and having both the best and worst time of my life (Hahah!! Almost straight As and skipped a writing class with my amazing scores and was top of my class, Dean’s list first semester, in the Visionary Women’s Honors society, worked in the admissions office and did lots of cool things, but hahaha also really wanted to die and was Destroying Myself) and trying to get help while keeping it a secret from my mom...lo and behold of course she eventually found out about the Depression when I had to go inpatient near the end of my second semester, and she. HA, I can’t even cry about this anymore. She literally disowned me (took all my money, sold my car, cut me off of health insurance, made me pay my own hospital bills, refused to do my FAFSA for college anymore, dropped all support, and later when I had to come home because I relapsed again and the college made me go on a medical leave of absense, she threatened to kick me out and call the police [hilariously enough though the house was owned by my stepdad, not her, so she couldn’t do anything. Also I never did anything to her and she was just crazy and made up excuses. But yeah not fun trying to walk to work and being threatened over the phone that she was going to have me dragged out of work by the cops and not to come home, hahaha!!!!!! But then also when I did live with my neighbor for a few days she was apparently so distraught?? Haha what a weird person!!!! I haven’t seen her for three years now and it’s been the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t mourn for me, it’s SO Much better now. Speaking of, she was a PETA-hugging ARA nutjob and if she knew what I was planning on doing she would’ve disowned me either way!!!!!!), and of course fighting to be able to move out and rent an apartment with my SO (I hate the word boyfriend. It’s been 7 years come January 11th, and we’ve been through so fucking much. And she [my mom...] and other people always made fun of him being my BOYFRIEND that that word is tainted for me...so Significant Other it is) and then being forced to live alone there for a couple months,, and then even after that, the fights with his family, the car accident in November, my mom ruining all chances of me going to college (keep in mind I had after leaving college, spent the next TWO AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE trying to make it so I COULD go back, spent all of my time, energy, hope, eVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING trying to do so,,, and she manipulated me and then lied to me and made it so I couldn’t), my rebounding depression, my Intensifying Aggression (terrifying. Developed when I was in college...I guess it’s some kind of rapid bipolar disorder, maybe triggered by me going on antidepressants in college, they said. But it was so long ago and they never knew the full story for a proper diagnosis anyway. But it’s gotten manageable and We’re Coping), the housefire on Christmas, moving Once Again to the new place and being told I can’t bring my 15 year old cat (he’s with my stepdad still now but it’s not okay.), the rats have to be in the basement, and oh yeah if you want to attend college again loans will be nearly 13% interest hahaha!!! and then finally just straight up breaking down in February and not leaving bed for DAYS and nearly committing suicide, just the real worst time ever, and my former therapist/psychiatrist place weren’t responding (turns out they discharged me!! haha kinda hard to make appointments WHEN YOU DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE and we DIDN’T GET THE NOTICE IN THE MAIL because our HOUSE WAS CONDEMNED and my mail was being sent to my STEPDADS an hour away!!!!!!!! Also really hard to talk to you when you BLOCK OUR FUCKING NUMBER and HANG UP ever time we fucking call haha!!!!!! Literally on the verge of suicide and not on my anxiety meds for MONTHS but hey sure that works too guys!!!!) which really didn’t help, and yeah it was really just the pits! Just the absolute pits, the Very Worst.

Now at this point I don’t remember exactly when/what changed, but SOMETHING did.

Leading up to February, I wanna say it was about October that I started getting kinda weirdly depressed, and I started REALLY tanking after the fire. After the fire, I had to move back to my stepdads within the night, and had to live without Jessie again and commute really far and keep the tarantulas a secret and in general be very alone and very sad. I started wearing down and it was getting so hard to just...enjoy. Anything. Even just taking care of the pets became difficult, and doing art or researching was impossible. I just...didn’t care anymore. I stopped caring.

On top of that, my climate grief and general feelings of Despair were at an all time high, and I just didn’t. Fucking. CARE. What happened next.

I spent YEARS of my life WEARING MYSELF TO THE BONE trying to get into college, the get back into college, to just try to do this thing that I was supposed to do, my ONE hope of having a career and a future that I probably wouldn’t even be happy with (I was an illustration major. I liked drawing. It’s what I was best at. But looking back, I wouldn’t have been happy doing it for a living. And Moore [no that’s not what my blog is named for, it just also happens to be my last name] was a great college but it just...wasn’t worth $30k a year with no cosigner for loans, even AFTER my scholarships) and my body and mind were wearing down and no matter what I did I didn’t care about myself, my animals, my partner, my life, nothing. I can’t explain how terrifying that is. Of all the time in my life, I think this was the worst. On top of my life problems, it must be said again that my climate grief and Misery regarding the state of our country and the world was also at an all-time-high, and I just felt...POWERLESS. Powerless and empty and uncaring and dead inside. I really wanted to just...drive off a bridge or eat a ton of pills (which I did do a couple times, don’t do that. Please. It’s NOT worth it.) and just stop Existing.

But then something just...changed.

I don’t know what it was, exactly. But I got SOMETHING back. SOMETHING “clicked”.

I’m crying a bit now. It’s so stupid to say, but I truly believe this is what saved my life. Realizing my purpose in life. That everything fell into place and finally made sense.

I’m going to be a bit more concise here but...basically...many of my passions and smaller aspects of myself all fell into place, so PERFECTLY.

It hit me that...ah jeez.

I will digress one more second. For those of you who don’t know, I have two Eurydactylodes geckos, named Vladimir (E. vieiliardi) and Estragon (E. agricolae). They are named for my favorite drama that we read in AP English, Waiting for Godot. It’s an aburdist theater play about two men who wait under a tree for someone (we don’t know who, just that his name is Godot) and that’s about it. Everyone had a lot of different things to say about that weird little book, but my take on it was that it’s supposed to be what happens to two men when they lack a “purpose” in life. Existentialism, and all that. They sit there and sit there and completely lose themselves just WAITING for this guy that they don’t even remember, they don’t even know why they’re there, and they do nothing to try and change that. The difference between existentialism and absurdism, however, is that absurdism specifically discusses this idea of a Chaotic Universe, this Lack of Meaning, this pointless quest of humanity to seek value and meaning in a universe without reason. It’s a fruitless effort, it’s Absurd! But the beauty of absurdism, this tiny idea that stayed with me in the goofy names of my geckos (I chose the names because I thought the play was amusing and I loved the characters’ relationship, which is Quite Gay and so Loving and Charming it warms my heart, and I loved that they called each other “Didi” and “Gogo”) and really held true to my own life. I DO NOT believe that THIS is why this change happened for me, but it’s ironic, no?

Back to Absurdism, Absurdism says... “here is this meaningless, Chaotic, RIDICULOUS universe. There is NO reason for ANYTHING, there NEVER will be, you DO NOT MATTER, you DO NOT HAVE A PLACE HERE. There is NO POINT to anything. So fuck it, and try to find one anyway.”

My original therapist did not understand why I found this so wonderful and inspiring. It’s so rebellious and selfish, I LOVE IT. To embrace the Absurd is to take the bull by the horns and flip it upside down! It’s to stare all of this dreadful pointlessness in the Void, and when it says “Why bother? Why care about these insignificant invertebrates? These ridiculous reptiles? These ABSURD apples???” and flip the bird both hands and say “BECAUSE I WANT TO, BECAUSE I SAID SO, BECAUSE I AM HUMAN, AND I CAN!!!” It’s...also more than that, it’s this long, defiant lifelong journey, this stupid, ridiculous journey of fumbling about trying to find one’s place in a cruel, vast world, and finding oneself in that journey.

I love people. I love the ABSURDITY of humanity, of people, of myself, of others. A Huge part of my Future Plans has to do with People, and Community, and Changing my little patch of the world. It’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but I know it can make a difference to someone and myself and that’s what matters.

Anyway back to the Clickening.

Around that time I had a moment like that. It was as if something in my mind was screaming at me, listen. You are here, and you have always been here to love animals, to love life, to make art, to tell stories with your art, to raise little sheeps.

And like that, it started Something.

I agreed to go to a local doctor, and was put on antidepressants. I’ve been on them since late February. I also got accommodations for work, so I have two excused absenses due to mental illness each month, which was good, because they tried to fire me 4 times now and they haven’t succeeded yet. (I’m DAMN GOOD at what I do, I’m just Sad and Unlucky and Dumb, but I’m doing a lot better now!!) I started taking all of the things I learned in the past many years and what I’ve learned about myself as a person (I won’t talk about it here but I’ve always struggled with my Identity [not gender wise, just...with my mental health and my mood disorder, it’s really hard to know What is ME and What’s The Illness) and it all started falling into place. My needle felting, my love for animals, conserving native wildlife AND heritage breeds with restoration grazing and positive impact forestry, utilizing my Overwhelming Charisma (in person I swear I’m quite a good talker! Way better than my typing here!) for education, outreach, and farmers market sales, my love for life and my fellow human beings and my plans to work hard to help feed my local communities and encourage sustainable agriculture and the dismantlemant of capitalism Love of our native wilds and backyards alike (I also have Big Thoughts about getting native peoples input as well, but I need to research that more and actually talk to people, but that would be in future years!!), and so, so many things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That started in late February/early March now, and since then I’ve still had Really bad times, but I’d say in the past mmmmm...probably since late July? I think yeah since about then things have really taken great turns. I’ve Matured a lot, really embraced who I am and what I want to do, and while I KNOW my plans are going to keep changing over time (tentative goal is to look for/buy our property in 2025!! That gives us 5 years post-graduation to settle down and see how things go, where Jessie will be working, where we’ll be living, how my mind changes, all of that!!) but I KNOW in my BONES in my SOUL that this is what I have always been meant to do. To raise things, grow things, and to Care.

ANYWAY WOW HAHAHA YOU SURE DIDN’T ASK FOR ALL THAT BUT THERE YA GO THERE’S THE BACKSTORY, THE FIRST HALF OF THE WORMS!!!!!!

TL;DR: I’m a sad sap who is now slightly less sad and has Big Plans that were 7 years+ in the making and I want to take all my Big Thoughts about exotic welfare (well, reptiles and spiders mostly, but sure) and also apply it to DOMESTIC welfare and Make a Dang Difference!!!!

Okay now I’ve become very burnt out, I’ve been writing for like two hours now? So this part will sadly be shorter, but I will definitely write more about it again if you or anyone else has questions or actually wants to hear about it.

Basically...the amount of These Plans that I am willing to let you folks know, is uhh...oh jeez where do I even begin, haha...

Well it started small plans (early years of research, when I used to think a small greenhouse was Super Wild and Crazy) but nah bruh we goin’ full hog, literally. My plans are to get a decent sized property, still in my state, and have a HUGE focus on Sustainability and Positive Grazing/Management! That means rotational grazing to IMPROVE soils!!! Thinning the woodlot and clearing brush for the HEALTH of the forest!!! Reintroducing blight-resistant american chestnuts to restore our forests and support a healthy wildlife population!!!! Using both honeybees AND cultivated native bees [did you know that’s a thing???? You can buy native bee cocoons, like raised humanely, and raise them for pollinating plants!! Like Orchards!!] and grazing pastured pigs and chickens under orchard trees, while also providing BUTTLOADS of native flowers and domestic tree blossoms for native pollinators!! All that great stuff.

My biggest focuses would be raising practical heritage livestock for sustainable agriculture and conserving heritage fruit trees, with a focus on apples and pears. I also want to grow a lot of mutually beneficial/low-impact perennial resources...think honey, maple syrup, nut trees, stuff like that! And I want to graze on pastures with native grasses and locality-specific wildflowers (check out Ernst Seeds, especially if you live in/near PA like I do!! Wow it’s so frickin’ cool) and focus on northern european short-tailed sheep (finnsheep, gotland, icelandic, leader, shetland, and soay) and small landrace American hogs (american guinea hog, ossabaw island hog) and the more recent but so full of potential idaho pasture pig. I also want to raise icelandic landrace chickens for utility (parasite/pest management, composting), conservation, and eggs. I also want to raise rabbits (silver fox crosses for meat, and french angora crosses for fiber! I have a dream of producing high quality tri color angora for spinners...three colors on one animal, and I want them to be especially great for fiber artists who want to raise their own fiber animals but don’t have a ton of space) and I have BIG orchard plans...SO MANY ORCHARD PLANS, HHHHHOOO YES....SO GOOD...also COPPICE WITH STANDARDS and FORESTRY and HOO YES!!!!! I LOVE SOME GOOD OL FORESTRY!!!

I think the best way to describe my current plans standings is that it seperates into a couple different “zones”, for my Current Ideas. This has taken months and so many countless hours of thinking, researching, and ironing out, and I’ve made so much headway in just this past week, but basically imagine this...

It’s mostly split into two pastures, the orchard, and the woodlot.

PASTURE 1

Pasture 1 would be the largest, where we would rotationally graze two primary groups of ruminants. Polled NES-T sheep (finnsheep/gotland) and horned sheep (icelandic/leader) with dairy cows (dutch belted) as well. Dutch belted for milk and specifically cheese production, and they would be grazed in front with the icelandics to help take care of the taller grasses that the sheep would avoid, and help keep the sheep a bit safer. All would be guarded by livestock guardian dogs. Group #1 of the icelandic chickens would be grazed behind them, to help break up manure and disrupt parasite cycles.

Pasture itself would be mostly a big bluestem/little bluestem/indian grass/switchgrass mix, with a good variety of livestock-safe wildflowers (small portion being nitrogen-fixers like tick trefoils and pasture pea) and seed-producing flowers for birds (wild birds and our birds!). Would be rotationally grazed 1-2 days at a time (avg. 3-4 days total) with a 21-35+ day rest period. Polled NES-T sheep would be moved to “silvopasture” (copse with standards, a portion of the woodlot, with coppiced trees for fuelwood/timber interspersed with standard-sized mast producting trees [would double as nut and persimmon orchard, and hog foraging in fall/winter!!!]) in the summer to help them deal with the heat. Summer would be the best time, as it’s after the spring predator pressure and before the acorns fall, which could be bad for them if they ingest too many. Rams and hogs would otherwise graze this land with much longer rest periods otherwise (more like 30-45 days or so).

PASTURE 2

Smaller pasture with similar planting, arranged ‘paddock paradise’ style for a small group of icelandic horses (SO GOOD, and useful!! Little horse hooves are much kinder to the forest than a UTV, and herding on horseback is less stressful for the livestock) and rotationally grazed shetland and soay sheep. Pretty simple, but important. Would also contain Icelandic chicken group #2.

ORCHARD

Worthy of a novel all on it’s own. I want to grow semi-dwarf heritage fruit trees with the fruit drop type synced to the rotation of pastured hogs (idaho pasture pig, american guinea hog, ossabaw island hog) and group #3 of icelandic chickens. Hogs would be in orchard spring-fall, and in the copse with standards fall-early winter. Hogs and chickens would be moved to a holding area during rainy times to help preserve the orchard floor and during winter, where we would also have a large waste management/composting set up for them to root and turn to their hearts content. Should be a lot warmer than the outside in the winter too, and I plan on it being in a high tunnel/hoop house so its covered.

I am ALL ABOUT pairing livestock with crops and encouraging multi-purpose acreage in general, so this is definitely one of my FAVORITE plans so far, and every time I revisit it, it gets better. I also want to raise BEES (honeybees, mason bees, leafcutter bees!!!) for honey and pollination. I also want to plant BUTT-TONS of native flowers and goodies for pollinators, as well as lots of seed producing plants and sunflowers for the chickens to forage for by themselves. These would be some happy livestock, for sure.

WOODLOT

Another huge part of the plan is that I want at LEAST 1/3-1/2 of the property to be Woods. Only a small fraction of the Woods would be managed for livestock foraging and more frequent harvesting (still looking at a good 7-10 year coppice cycle though for trees) and the rest would still be tended to, with the help of the local forestry folks, but it would be preserved for wildlife and low-impact timber and nut/fruit/sap collection.

The VAST MAJORITY of the farm would be multi-purpose acreage for both livestock AND wildlife benefit (and people too of course) and I truly, truly believe and KNOW it can be done. In fact it HAS been done, IS being done, in so many different ways by so many different people in different times, and I know that I want to be a part of it and I can make a difference and use my weird passions for Good and make a dang difference.

Ohhh jeez I’m real sorry I didn’t quite answer your question though but I hope this gives a little insight into what I mean?? And if anyone has Specific questions after reading this (if you make it to the bottom, bless your cotton socks, I’m so proud and also distressed) I can definitely answer them a bit better than this. And hopefully much less...whatever this is, haha!!

[alexandria-selina]

Into the App

(This is a Mystic Messenger AU thank decided to write. Hope everyone like it!)

"…and after all the hard ships, they all lived happy lives," a woman, Alex, finished typing on her laptop. "I guess that's the end of It, huh? Looks like I can write them all a happy ending, even after giving them hardships to face!"

After figuratively patting herself on the back for writing her Mystic Messenger fanfic, Alex how late it was on her clock and had a protein shake before bed. Making herself comfortable under the covers, Alex closed her eyes and slipped into a dream.

"You think you made yourself a wonderful world inspired by mine? How would you like to live in the world you've created," a smooth, disembodied voice asked. "You might have to give something up for it though…"

"The one where everyone has a happy ending? I don't think I'd mind," Alex answered without hesitation. "Do I get to choose what I have to give up?"

"How about your memories of your life here? But, if you forget who you were to become the woman, Kia, you wrote about in your story, you might have an empty feeling inside of you," the voice warned. "A hole in your heart that will never be truly filled… A happy ending for all but you will never fully be. Are you prepared for that?"

"I'm definitely prepared for that if I get to live in a world where I know there will be a happy ending. I'm prepared to have a hole in my heart and I will make sure it doesn't drive me into sadness. I promise, I will gladly exchange my memories to switch places with Kia."

"So be it… I will give you your wish, but remember that it was your choice."

Alex wakes up to see a notification on her phone from the app at simply said, "We have good news!"

She opens the app to see a note:

Due to your wish to find the best possible ending and even writing about it yourself. The Wizard has granted you the power to make a world in your own image to have these characters. Though there will be a feeling of emptiness in your heart from the loss of your past life's memories, you will have your happiest ending. This honor is only awarded to certain people, so will you seize the opportunity?

And there were two options:

"I would, but I can't leave my life... So, I'm saying no."

Or

"Yes, I will accept the consequences. I'll leave my life behind."

Alex chooses the second answer, having forgotten about her dream, she thought it meant she'd get her own DLC, but as soon as she tapped the option, Alex blacked out.

She woke up to her name being called, by an excited voice:

"Kia, hey! Kia! Rika to my daydreaming friend Kia!"

Snapping out of her thoughts about the photograph in front of her, Kia turns to the bubbly blonde next to her and grabs her by the collar. With venom in her voice, the short haired blonde speaks:

"How dare you address me like we're friends, you crazy, sociopathic bitch?! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Kia, it's me, Rika," the long-haired blonde said while struggling to get out of the grasp. "I was just trying to give you your coffee."

"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry about that, Rika," Kia said immediately releasing her good friend. "I need to stop watching psychological horror before my pistachio-rose latte with 3 shots of espresso," she admits, taking a sip of her drink and turning her attention back to the photo.

"Otherwise, might you might accidentally kill me," Rika added.

"Yeah, that's why... Not cuz I would be arrested and definitely not get into a good school if I committed murder," Kia said with a nonchalant glance away from the photograph in front of her.

"You scare me sometimes..."

"Good, it teaches you to be nicer to me and take me seriously," she said jokingly. "Why don't we get sone lunch?" As Kia finished her question, a man with Turquoise hair walked up to the two women.

"Hello there Miss, I noticed you've staring at this piece for quite a long time. Would you mind if we talk about it further over lunch," he asked in a suave, confident tone.

"Well, I wouldn't mind at all Mr. Kim, but my friend and I are actually-" Kia began to say before turning to find Rika wasn't beside her anymore.

"Wait, where did she go?"

"Where did who go?"

"My friend, she was right here..." As Kia trailed off, her phone chirped and she saw a text from Rika to have fun on her date. "Actually, it looks like I'm free right now. I'd love to take that offer."

"Your phone is set to chirp for notifications, Miss? That's really cute," Mr. Kim complimented with a chuckle.

"Thanks, but you don't have to keep calling me Miss. I'm Kia Barker," she said, giving her hand for him to shake.

"My name is Jihyun Kim, but you already knew that," he introduced as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

"Oh, of course, I know what the famous V's real name is. I simply adore your work," she assured with a small blush.

"You seem to love this photograph quite a bit more than the others. What drew you to it?"

"I feel like it's a piece that captures the essence of determination and willingness to brave the harshest of conditions to survive. A bright light shines upon the violet flowers as they stick together through the harsh wind that threatens to blow them apart. Supporting each other against the odds to grow beautifully, with vibrant and healthy color."

"That's quite the analysis. Why don't we continue it once we're seated at the restaurant around the corner?"

"I don't see why not. I'd love to continue this conversation," Kia said, giving V the okay to lead the way to the restaurant.

Kia and V were seated rather quickly, at a nice table for two. The server took thier drink order and brought bread for the table. The pair began dicudssing thier order, V saying that he would pay for everything, so they agreed on a 3 course dinner for two and then went on to dicuss more with each other.

The conversation began with Kia telling V how much she loved his photos and why she enjoyed them so much. Then, they moved on to talking more personal subjects. The usual, 'where are you from', 'how old are you', turned into 'there was this funny thing that happended to me when I was a kid'. By the end of the meal, they were laughing happily with full stomachs and bright smiling faces. V paid for the meal and the two walked out the restaurant holding hands. Kai was the first to speek after they left:

"Wow, it's already 3 o'clock," she noticed looking at her watch. "We sat in there for a good 3 hours."

"We definintely had pleanty to talk to each other about. Especially with those stories of you and your brother," V chuckled as he recalled Kia's childhood stories.

"Your adventures with Jumin were actually rather interesting. I never thought the two of you would get into trouble like that. How cute," Kia commented.

"So, what's the plan now?"

"I'd love to stay and talk somemore, but I should get home so I can read up for my class tomorrow."

"That's right, you're studying to be a councelor and Professor, aren't you?"

"And for that exact reason, I need to make sure I don't fall behind. Maybe we can meet up later, how does that sound?"

"I have a photo shoot this weekend. I don't see why you and your friend couldn't join me on sight. My friend Jumin's going tot be there so I don't see why I can't invite two more. Bringing her might help make up for her leaving so we can enjoy ourselves?"

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Here, let me give you my number and you can text me the location of the shoot. I'm sure my friend Rika won't mind coming with me and properly meeting you and Jumin."

V and Kia exchanged numbers and V offered to walk her home. Kia appreciated the offer, but she had her car to drive and Rika to find and take home. V then offered to walk her to the car and she agreed, and they walked hand in hand to Kia's car. V made sure Kia and Rika were safe and he watched them dirve off, happy to know he'd be seeing Kia again soon.

(This is Kia)

[mysynthfetish]

Um, Yeah.

Well it's damn near March already. What the hell? Where does the time go?

The whole world is in a huff about COVID-19, and here in Japan too, obviously, but people are in full-on freakout mode. First thing they did was go on a panic-buying-spree of masks, like surgical masks, you know, the ones everyone here wears when it's either flu or hay fever season. So, there's a shortage of masks now. "ONE BOX PER CUSTOMER!!" signs at the shops with any remaining stock. For me, the funniest thing is that masks do not prevent the wearer from catching a virus. The seal around the face is not perfect, so guess what, shit don't work. Unless you strap on a military grade chemical warfare motherfucker of a mask, like with the filter cans and shit? Nope. I mean, even the homepage of the WHO where you can find a coronavirus FAQ says so ("BUT THE WHO IS CONTROLLED BY THE UN AND THEY'RE SECRETLY OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SO YOU CAN'T TRUST THAT!!!!" yeah yeah yeah. Shame. On. You). But nahhhh who cares about actually using your head and thinking about how viruses spread. See, the masks work (sorta) when worn by people already infected, as they trap most of the fun stuff ejected by a sneeze or a cough. Not all of it. We can still hope for some fun to be shared among the general populace can we not? Ahhh but it's easier to be a total idiot and follow the herd mentality and panic-buy useless shit. Then there was the fiasco with the cruise ship and not letting passengers disembark, and then it turns out a number were let off without having to go through screening, but the Chinese are still being confined to quarters blah blah blah. Jeeezus Fucking Christ EVERYTHING is made in China anyway, from rubber dog shit to the (probably) fake ICs in your military hardware to your beloved smartphones and related devices, shit, even the incessant machine-diarrhea geyser of clone synths too, so what the hell is the big deal about a potentially pandemic-level megavirus every few years? Chinavirus. Next in the ongoing series. Personally, I don't really care where the viruses originate, and to tell the truth, I get a warm feeling inside when people lose their shit over stuff like this, and even warmer when the death toll rises and rises. Can't think of a better species to get a good culling than the old homo sapiens. Heh. Mister Misanthrope at your service! But anyway.....

Found this ancient beast sitting forgotten and forlorn in a closet at work. It's a Luxman 38FD "High Fidelity Stereo Integrated Amplifier" made around 1970 (like me!). It is in near fucking mint condition. HEAVY. AS. FUCK. And the winningest part of the whole thing besides it being destined for the Big Garbage pile and as a result free for the taking? IT WORKS. Oh, and even better...

IT'S A VACUUM TUBE AMP!!! Those are the main tubes, 50CA10, pretty much but not totally unobtanium. Yeah, they fucking glow a warm orangey red, and after a bit you can see blue vapor inside. Well, if you turn off all the lights and take the top cover off. It runs hot as fuck too. I was just shocked the thing worked. It's sitting comfortably atop the desk in the lair, where you'd normally park a printer, with a pair of Yamaha NS-100X speakers on risers above it. Sounds great. There's considerably more noise (hiss?) than a modern amp, but with the volume knob raised to about 10 o'clock, it's already loud enough that the hiss isn't even a consideration anymore, and any louder would be asking for trouble with the neighbors. I can't believe it because the amp is supposed to be a mere 30 watts per channel. I guess 30 watts from vacuum tubes is a hell of a lot different from even triple that from a modern amp. LOUD!!! So yay me.

Oh and speaking of viruses....

I was watching this one on the auction for about a month and a half. The opening bid started out at around $1700 but nobody bid, and the auction ended, and one option here on the yahoo auction is for an automatic re-listing with the opening bid discounted by a certain percent. I watched for a while, then just when I'd forgotten about it, it came up in the look-at-me feed and the price was down to a grand so I bid on it and won. I had one of these before and regretted selling it, thus the TI Polar in my arsenal now, but the 61-key TI has THE BEST keys ever. Feels so good to play. Fatar! I thought yeah ok I'll just say see ya to the Polar and call it even. But... Hmm... Wait... One thing led to another and in the end I decided to keep both the viruses and... and...... and...... sell the ION. Say WHAT?!?! After all the work and repairs and maintenance and customizing LEDs and and and and.... Yeah. It's a hell of a synth, no doubt about it, but I think anything with the Alesis logo on it has a very definite shelf-life. The pots are gonna go, a few are acting up already, and those are unobtanium unless you wanna shell out the dosh and buy from syntaur. You can't get NOS pots either. So... After some serious deep-thinking and careful consideration and deliberation I had to say to myself, "self, it's a wonderful machine capable of some great sounds, but it's only 8-voice polyphonic, there are barely any effects to mention, ok sure the mod matrix and plethora of filter models and waveshaping are fantastic, but you know how ridiculously MORE powerful the Virus TI is almost every respect!" And I admitted defeat. To myself. Weird, I know. But there you go. I don't think I know anyone with two Virus TI (or TI2) synths in their collection. Maybe Anthony Rother. I know he has two IONs. 

Ahhhh but this 61-key virus wasn't without problems. Uh, well, OK one BIG problem. The power supply shat itself when I turned it on for the first time. The LCD sorta flashed, there was a brief sign of life with some of the LEDs, but then blip! Nothing. Aaaaargh! Unseat the power cable, reseat it, try again. Nothing, just a high-pitched whine that was getting louder. I put my head up against the front panel, listening for where the whine was coming from, and figured out it was the far right side. That's where the PSU is. Then suddenly the sound changed to a higher pitch that swept downwards over the course of a few seconds, all the while sputtering like it had a downward sawtooth filter on it, then POP! No more sound. When I opened the case up, I immediately remembered that for whatever reason, Access decided to go with a PSU like you'd use with a laptop computer, the big brick-like deals, and that they'd carefully bracketed the brick in so that the eyeglass-socket for the plug lined up with the hole in the rear panel. OK so all I needed to do was find a same-rating PSU and then go about modding the bracket so cosmetically it would look from-the-factory. Incidentally, I contacted Access and asked about parts, but the rep said they don't have any more PSUs for the TI series, only ones for the TI2 series, and that they aren't the same size so when they do the repair, they put a DC jack on the rear panel and the PSU gets left out—goes from internal to external if you catch my drift. Well, no thank you, I do not care for that approach, no sir, I didn't wanna go that route at all. So, thanks to having access to a drill press and diamond-saw dremel tools at work, I made the necessary mods to the bracket, padded it a bit so it would securely hold the new PSU in place, and in the end you can't tell it isn't a factory PSU (from the outside). Yay me, part two.

This is the bracket, post choppy-grindy. Yeah so I "secured" the cabling with Scotch 33+... Hey, from the factory it was held down with hot glue!

Yeah that's where it attached to the PCB. CHEEKY!!!!!!!

Not bad, right? You'd never know. But I've told you, so now you know. Oh and the PSU was $22 from a local parts chain (Marutsu). I think Access wants about $50 but I think that includes free shipping anywhere in the world. I'm just glad it's working fine now.

Other goings on... I've sold the Timeline and Space pedals, and used part of the proceeds to pick up a Sony DPS-D7 delay and a DPS-R7 reverb to use in their place. But the D7 had a wonky input knob that actually broke off in my fucking hand the second time I went to use it. That pot is super unobtanium, so I thought I'd just epoxy the broke-off-bit and not worry about separately controlling the input levels for the L and R channels (does anyone even DO that?)... Here's the pot.

Even after it was epoxied back together, it was fucking bent as fuck. Red line shows the angle, blue arrow shows where the epoxy ghetto fix went down. I saw another D7 listed as-is for $10 and nobody bid so I won it, and I had intended to just cannibalize the pot, but it turns out that it has a newer OS and it works fucking fine, so that was kind of a head-scratcher. People are weird. This delay is stupid deep. There's a multi-tap algorithm that has like 40 separately programmable taps, each with its own level, pan, feedback, and all that. The reverb (R7) is just as insane with parameters... Dudes, and dudettes, seriously, you need some deep-sea rated scuba gear to really get to grips with these Sony DPS motherfuckers. DEEEEEEEEEEEP AS FUCK. I've owned these before too. Had the F7 Filter too. That thing had a 40-band vocoder and a multi-part digital drum synth in it!? Man I think the engineers at Sony had access to some GOOD drugs back when they were working on this line of effects processors. Seriously. I mean, I love programming, but even I was intimidated by the sheer amount of programmability in these things. The ones I had before were a bit noisy, but these aren't at all. Strange. Fun shit though. Oh and there's this:

Ah fuck, looks a bit out of focus. That right there is a TOA DE-1000 delay. Rare as shit, and this one is in NEW condition. Insane! I've had this one on my radar for a while. Why? Because it's fucking WEIRD!!!! So the max delay time is 255ms or something really not that long at all, but you've got three to control: Left, Center and Right. Individual times (LEDs) and levels (white sliders), plus global wet/dry and feedback, AND modulation time and depth sliders. SLIDERS!!?? Ok it only has four memory slots, and no MIDI, but you can get up to some good mischief with this thing. Last two goodies to blab about:

Top: SONICWARE ELZ_1. What a weirdo synth. I heard that it's a raspberry pi under the hood but really? Who cares. It can do some off the wall shit. A handful of wacky synth engines, topped off by four effects processors at the end. And it has a speaker. My only complaint is no DIN MIDI, just USB and you have to buy a class compliant dealie. I suppose I should do so before I forget. Sounds pretty damn good though, and it does things that I've not heard other synths do. Built well. Fun to play and fun to program. Runs on batteries. Worth looking into. I was so impressed with this that I backed their next project (a groove box type thing it seems). Bottom: KORG AM8000R. This fucker does some WEIRD SHIT! I had one before (and its delay counterpart, the DL8000R) and for whatever reason didn't hold on to them. I think I was looking for more bread and butter, set it and forget it type effects. This was really cheap and it's in great shape. I don't think so many people know about these. Relatively easy to program, and you can get some really good, usable stuff as well as some super far out WTF stuff. The WARP! knob is good fun too.

Oh I suppose it's worth mentioning that I had an album released by Anti Gravity Device out of Tokyo a few weeks ago. Let's see if I can find a link...

https://anti-gravity-device.bandcamp.com/album/black-rainbows-agd036

Have a listen. It's stuff I recorded from about November through December last year, maybe even the first week of January this year. Live jam format, no master sequencer, wish I was an octopus because two arms and ten fingers just wasn't enough type stuff. All hardware. Fun!

So, my invisible tumblrpeeps, it's been a busy 2020 so far here. More things in the works. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay well. Watch out for number one, and don't step in number two. (thanks, Carlin!)